#. hallowed be thy name--hidan

[reddawnmultimuse]

Gives Hidan a sticker that reads "cuck"

//I apologize on her behalf.

"Yes! Angel gave another sticker! I dunno know why it says 'cluck' tho'. Maybe 'cause I got a huge co--" Insert a crow cawing.

[reddawnmultimuse]

Kid? "That just confirms it. Takin' that booze away from ya was a good idea. Just a lil' o' that there moonshine n' yer bein' a bully. Why don't go lay down fer awhile, Angel? Sleep it off. Trust me, yer gonna feel a lot better."

.....oh. he done it. the noise the bottle made upon breaking gave konan a slight fright, but that did not stop her anger, besides, she was lightly intoxicated already.

" are you out of your damn mind, kid?! you owe me another, go fetch me another! and didn't i just say that i can look after myself? i don't need a babysitter! "

[earthgrudgefear]

Ok character meme thingy: Kakuzu!!! 🥺🫀

THANK GOD and thank You !

favorite thing about them: oh my god hi where does one start. the love of my life. UM. this is going to be a comparatively superficial answer but he's so fucking powerful. why is he so powerful. it was INSANE of kishimoto to just throw this guy into the series where the ONLY way he could be taken down was with a jutsu that SEVERED HIS ENTIRE CHAKRA NETWORK IN A SINGLE BLOW. he rips people's still beating hearts out of their rib cages with his Bare Hand because somehow he can turn his entire body into the hardest material on earth. he beat people up with a briefcase. he doesn't have a skeleton he's made of living spaghetti. he spent half of the two fights he was in just strangling people looking downright bored. my favorite thing about him is everything about him but this is what i'm talking about today. also he's hot send tweet.

least favorite thing about them: no there isn't one. my least favorite thing about him is how he was treated in the story. my least favorite thing is that he WAS that powerful and they killed him in a 16 episode arc. my least favorite thing is he fought the first god damn hokage and we don't ever get to hear about it.

favorite line:

brOTP: yeah so deidara, it's strange that the akatsuki hardly ever talk to each other outside of meetings and their partners BUT it's canon that kakuzu had to reattach deidara's arms. i imagine they had to talk about something, find the time and place to meet. and i think it pisses hidan off because i KNOW he was with them and they were probably both ganging up on him. kakuzu was like 'finally someone i can be bitchy with' and deidara was like 'finally someone who's not just bitchy to me !'

OTP: look. kakuhida changed my life for the worse probably. kakuzu being notorious for killing his partners, assigned a partner he Can't Kill and yet how often does he try? instead he puts him back together, warns him to watch his back. he does like everything hidan asks him to "stay out of the fight" and he does, even if it's just to prove a point "come help" and he does. this otherwise cruel and relentless man, being so uncharacteristically Caring towards the most annoying man in the world. cept that it's not uncharacteristic at all, cause he does it all the time

nOTP: wow don't see a lot of kakuzu ships. hashirama is common but i wouldn't say it's a notp. just. why waste you time on that guy. saw him with tenten one, thought that was fucked up. i don't think him and deidara make sense if not platonically but i guess i've seen it a couple times too.... not a lot of kakuzu ships out there. tumblr's gonna take this as a sign to recommend me the most rancid kakuzu ships i can tell. maybe i'll have an update in a couple weeks.

random headcanon: he Definitely has lots of medical knowledge. and i didn't mention it in hidan's post but i think they both do. but with kakuzu basically being a frankenstein experiment, having knowledge about the vascular system makes sense. and the fact that he's regularly reattaching body parts he has to know SOMETHING past the basics

unpopular opinion: my unpopular opinion is that i love him 😭 gotta be one of the Least liked akatsuki members

song i associate with them: i couldn't explain it if i tried. hallowed be thy name iron maiden

favorite picture of them:

i'm gay. thanks for your time

y'all can still send more i could do this forever

[reddawnmultimuse]

It was frankly a miracle he had not awakened him. Muichiro was curled up on the lap of a strange man in a wheelchair, very reminiscent of a kitten as the five year yawned and settled further onto Hidan. Sweepy........

A miracle indeed. Hidan had ended up falling asleep after morning sermon. He hadn't slept very well the night before, and his chair was very comfortable. It had a pillow and blanket like a mobile bed. He wasn't sure how long he was out but when he woke up, it was to something weighty on his lap. Oh, a stray must've nested itself on his blanket. Wouldn't be the first time it happened. But no, it wasn't a cat or dog but an entire human child!

"Wha...?" He must be mistaken. He didn't have his glasses on; that must be it. His eyes--eye--wasn't playing tricks on him. So, Hidan put on his glasses and--nope, it was a kid. "Now where in the hell's bells did you come from, lil' one?" They must've come in from the outside. It was raining outside, and a church was the perfect place to wait out the weather. But why did they decide to use Hidan to sleep, of all places?

[reddawnmultimuse]

Hidan clasps his rosary to his chest. "Jashin protect me. There's a rage in the air, I don't like it. Someone must'a pissed Kakuzu off again, n' it ain't me fer once."

[reddawnmultimuse]

Dare hidan to kiss @heavenlypaper

R.i.p c:

"Now, I would love to give Angel a lil' kissy kiss, but I ain't gonna do it without her permission--n' 'cause I don't want my beautiful face lookin' like a kitty cat scratch post 'cause o' her paper, ya hear?"

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Y'all need to lay off Angel n' her stickers. Otherwise, I'm sendin' y'all on a one-way ticket to meet Jashin!"

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Who dafaq be callin' me a raggamuffin? Huh? I just wanna talk 'cause that's the nicest thin' anybody ever said 'bout me."

[reddawnmultimuse]

"I, too, would like some flower pussy~" He's *totally* not staring at Konan's..."flower" either.

" ...hnn......flower pussy..... " she whispers in a husky voice, almost inaudibly. "

[reddawnmultimuse]

prepares a spare rib feast, all smoky and sizzling, whistling casually......

The delicious smell of meat has caused Hidan to spawn from...somewhere. "I do say that smells quite scrumptious. May I have a wee bite, good sir?" He goes quiet and laughs. "I'm so hungry, I'm speaking like that Uchiha chap. Oh ho ho. Wait...oh no. Jashin, what have I done to displease you, so?" Did Jashin curse him because he forgot to pray? It was one time!

magic!anon [ 9/12 ]

[reddawnmultimuse]

" hm, take another... hidan, would you rather be spanked by a beautiful woman or by a mean old nun? "

"Only if the beautiful woman is you, Angel." Hidan winks at Konan with both eyes.

[reddawnmultimuse]

" right, hidan. have your mouth stuffed with a hundred sheets of my paper or have your ears stuffed with kakuzu's tendrils. "

"I'd have ya inside me, Angel." Hidan winks at Konan and makes a kissy noise, too.

[reddawnmultimuse]

That's it? A bottle of tequila? That was the cost of his Angel's love? "Deal! I'mma getcha the best tequila money can buy, Angel! I'll be back!" He proclaims before excitedly leaving to go take out a "loan" with Kakuzu.

A chuckle is tempting at that compliment, but Konan stays pretty stoic.

"Gift me a bottle of tequila." It's her attempt at a joke too. It's rather interesting that he even asked how he could change her mind. He's that down bad.

[reddawnmultimuse]

This or that

"Sponge bathe Kakuzu for a week, or abstain from praying for the same ammount of time."

"Both of those are blasphemous, Angel! That's like askin' ya which one of us Akatsuki members you'd rather have sex with. I mean, if it ain't me. 'Cause it's obvious it'd be me. Least I can pray for forgiveness from Jashin if I'm givin' Kakuzu sponge baths..."

[reddawnmultimuse]

" only being able to eat concrete or eat everything in the dictionary? " (4 hidan)

"Pfft. Easy! Eat everythin' in the dictionary. It's just paper!"

Hidan grabs a dictionary and starts ripping out the pages and furiously stuffing them into his mouth. Wait until Konan sees how fast he can eat this dictionary!

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Buhahaha! Ya hear that, Kuzu? Angel thinks I smell better than you! Stinky, ol' man. Smellin' like mothballs n' arthritis cream! I tell you wut."