#. and overcooked pasta too
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restaurants in germany be like.
#. and overcooked pasta too#. italians look away please#meme#germany#german stuff#tw food#in english#r.jpeg
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Look, I didn't want to be that person, but I hate, hate, HATE, the new animation style of Lego Monkie kid. Now you could never make me hate the animators. Never hate on the animators. They are underpaid, underappreciated and most importantly overworked. I repeat, do not blame the animators. Who I do blame, is whoever made the decision to switch studios because the new one was cheaper. F**k them. I hope they step on lego.
#For every fucked up animation I spend another year planning to make your life miserable#Your pillow will be warm on both sides no matter how often you flip it because i will be there to warm it up.#You stub your toe on a corner?#It was me. I broke into your home to move every piece of furniture you own an inch#You step on lego?#It was me. I bought the entire lego store so i have enough legos to spread around your house to step on for the rest of your pathetic life#When you want to shower?#I will be there to put it on cold when you're not looking#I'll make sure that everytime you play uno that your opponent has all the plus 4#Every time you make pasta I'll make sure it's just slightly overcooked so you can feel the misery in your meals too#Sleep with one eye open because I'll make sure to steal excactly one sock#Anyways#Love to the animators#Nothing could make me hate y'all#lego monkey kid#lmk#mountaintea rambles#rambles
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Yes headcanons of a character being awesome at cooking are great, but I seriously need more of them just absolutely SUCKING at cooking. I mean accidentally setting their hair on fire, drinking spoiled milk straight from the crate, mixing together the recipes for bœuf bourguignon and lemon drizzle cake, having seven alarms at the same time, shouting screaming on the floor, missing half the ingredients and using the weirdest alternatives kind-of-bad. Sure, stress bakers and incredible cooks are fun -but I am BEGGING for the people that cannot boil an egg for the life of them-.
#for some reasons tonight is the night i decide to just rise against good cooks ig#i have no idea what's taking over me#oh this character is a decent cook? no#characters i could see not knowing how to cook for shit include#percy weasley#because i said so and even if many fics beg to differ i beg to differ too this man cannot cook he cannot bake he cannot make pasta#if he tried it would be overcook and that is my headcanon#no offense to anyone btw#steve rogers#cuz i decided so#jason bourne#tangerine bullet train#isaac lahey#no even confronted to canon material i won't take it back#no offense to people with other headcanons of course#mike wheeler#look me in the eyes and tell me he is able to even peel a carrot#headcanons#personal headcanon#neil perry#only thing he can make for himself are sandwiches#and like cereals or something
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greta this is a reminder that your gif effects and typography and color combos are always fire and your bio should say something like ‘this barbie is a photoshop master�� and if musk bought tumblr and said i could only see 60 gifs a day, yours would absolutely be one of them because YOUR 👏 SETS 👏 ARE 👏 STUNNING 👏 okay? okay. 🩷
SOPH!!!! 💕💕 aklsjk ily so so much you have no idea how much it means to meee, literally tears in my eyes 😭😭 thank you for being the best supporting bestie 💗💗💗
#i love your tags too omg i read every single one of them#the pasta and forks one asdklkj#may YOUR pasta is never overcooked and you always have the cleanest forks <3#ask
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man. this pasta sucks.
#its always do obvious when someone doesn't salt their water#this shit tastes like sadness#its overcooked too i could tell from the color alone. and however made it didn't drain it properly because its wet on the plate#bad pasta experiences#plum rambles
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Hi author, can you write one where soft Dom Spencer (our beloved) is needy after work and tries to distract reader while she's cooking?
Heat of the Moment
warnings/notes: I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t have the energy to write smut but I will write the build-up scene to it. So suggestive content (MDNI) with a sprinkle of fluff and a whole lot of Spencer being horny. (This is also very self-indulgent because I fucking love mac and cheese, and if any of you hate cheese in general, I’m afraid we can’t be friends)
Cooking isn’t exactly your best skill. Just follow the recipe, they say, and you do, although following step-by-step instructions isn’t the same as having a natural knack for it. No matter how closely you measure the spices or time in the oven, something always seems a bit off. A little bit overcooked. A little bit burnt. But Spencer, bless your boyfriend’s heart, never complains.
“What smells so good?”
You look over your shoulder to see him strolling into the kitchen, still in his work clothes. Loose dress pants, rolled-up sleeves, top buttons undone. The tie you help him put on this morning is missing.
“You don’t always have to do that, you know?” You say as you turn back toward the stove. You stir the creamy, slightly lumpy mac and cheese, the thick sauce clinging to the pasta in a way that looks almost perfect, if not for the slightly scorched edges.
“Do what?”
“Pretend it’s amazing,” you reply with a sigh. “I know it’s not.”
You feel his presence behind you. “I’m not pretending.”
“You haven’t even tasted it yet.”
He peers over your shoulder. “I don’t need to. I trust you.”
“You trust me too much.”
“Just as much as you do,” he explains, placing his hands on your waist. “You trust me too, don’t you?”
“Trusting you to carry a gun isn’t the same as trusting your taste buds,” you reply, slightly leaning into him. Your back lands perfectly against his chest. “One requires skill, the other… a strong stomach.”
He gives your waist a gentle squeeze as his laughter fills the small space between you. You like his laugh, it’s warm and infectious. It makes you smile even though you’re feeling a bit self-conscious about your cooking.
“Well, I’ve survived both so far. So I think I’m doing pretty well.”
You stare at the pot, watching the mac and cheese bubble slightly. “What do you think the chances are of us getting food poisoning from this?”
Spencer gently pulls your hair out of the way, his fingers lightly brushing against your neck. He leans in and presses a soft kiss. “I’d say the chances are low,” he murmurs. “You're always too hard on yourself.”
You laugh softly, leaning back into him. “Maybe, but I just don’t want to mess this up.”
His hands start to wander, tracing gentle patterns on your waist before sliding around to your stomach. “You won’t mess it up,” he assures you. He lets his lips trail down your neck. “And even if you did, I wouldn’t mind.”
You feel a rush of warmth that has nothing to do with the stove. “Really?”
“It’s already good because you made it.”
You can feel his body pressing closer, his warmth enveloping as he lingers on the sensitive spot just below your ear. “Spencer, are you trying to distract me?”
You can practically feel the smile on your skin. He shakes his head, the slight roughness of his stubble brushing against your neck as he murmurs, ���Not distracting, just appreciating.”
His denial is playful, his tone light, but his actions tell a different story. His hands continue their exploration, now slipping underneath your shirt. His palm is warm and slightly rough as it makes contact with your skin. He traces gentle patterns along your stomach, moving so slowly and as if he’s savoring every inch.
You feel your pulse quicken, each beat echoing in your ears. “Baby…”
“Hm?” he hums, and your breath catches when his thumb brushes just below your breasts.
“If you keep this up, there might not be any food for dinner.”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
You try to focus on the pot, where the sauce has begun to form a thicker layer at the bottom, slightly burned and sticking. But his touch makes it difficult to concentrate. "Unless you plan to feed us on kisses alone, I think we might need something more substantial too."
Spencer laughs softly, a low rumble of amusement that you can feel as much as hear. "I don’t know, kisses for dinner sounds pretty tempting."
"I’m afraid it won’t satisfy our hunger."
"I think it’ll satisfy mine just fine."
“Oh my god,” you gasp, catching on to the deeper meaning in his words. You tighten your grip on the wooden spoon as you resume your stirring. “Stop distracting me.”
If anything, he clings to you even more. He rests his chin on your shoulder as his hands travel down your stomach again, only this time, they linger at the hem of your shorts. His fingers play with the fabric, teasingly tugging at it.
“Spencer.”
“What?”
And then you feel it, the unmistakable pressure of his arousal pressing against your back. It’s a firm, urgent presence, a hard line that aligns tightly against your own curves. The hardness of it distracts you even further.
“You’re making it really hard to cook,” you murmur, trying to sound stern but the breathiness in your voice betrays your growing distraction.
He slips a hand inside the waistband of your shorts while the other trace along your stomach. “I think we should forget about cooking for a while.”
“You know we can’t do that,” you try to argue, even as your hips instinctively follow his touch. “We need to eat.”
“But we could be doing other things,” Spencer whispers, nipping gently at your earlobe. His teeth graze your skin lightly before his lips close around it, tugging softly. The sigh you let out is shaky and breathless. The idea is tempting, dangerously so. The persistent heat from his hand, now tracing idle circles on your underwear, isn’t helping your focus.
“Aren’t you—” your grip on the wooden spoon loosens when he slips a finger over the waistband. “Aren’t you the one who… always says how our bodies need… what was it again?”
Spencer nods. “The human body need about 2,000 calories a day to function properly. But,” he continues, slipping another finger in. “We also need affection and touch for our emotional well-being.”
You swallow hard. “What else do we need?”
“Pleasure. Lots of it.”
You don’t know whether you should be laughing or not. His boldness is both shocking and strangely amusing. Spencer isn't the type to be straightforward when it comes to sex, but when he is, it's always intense. He's clingy, he craves attention, and even when his cheeks flush with embarrassment, it doesn't stop him. It hasn't stopped him in the past, and it's not stopping him now.
Your mind scatters as he starts pressing himself harder, slightly grinding behind you. And when he adds another finger in, then followed by another until all of his five fingers dive into your underwear, you know you’re already too far gone. You let go of your grip on the wooden spoon before it clatters inside the pot, reaching down to hold his arm to stop him.
“Fine. Fine. You win.” You breathe out heavily as you gently pull his hand out. “We should at least turn off the stove first.”
He grins, pulling away to turn off the burner. “There. Now, where were we?”
You finally turn to face him, your hands finding their way to his shirt. You grip onto the material. “I think you were about to prove a point about pleasure.”
His response is a soft laugh before his lips meet yours. He’s gentle when he touches you. He always is. His hands slides around your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between your bodies. You let your hand trail over his chest, up, up, up, until your fingers find the soft curls of his hair.
When he finally pulls away, he's smiling from ear to ear. "I think that's proof enough, don't you?"
You smile back, breathless and flushed. "Maybe," you reply, your fingers gently tugging at his hair. "But I might need a bit more convincing."
His grin widens, and he leans in again, his lips brushing against yours as he whispers, "I can do that."
You can feel his hands tightening around your waist as he begins to kiss you again, deeper this time. It's all teeth and tongue, raw and hungry. The forgotten dinner on the stove barely registers in your mind. But with his hands and lips distracting you, you find it hard to worry about anything else.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#Fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction
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somethin' sweet
synopsis: you own a five-star renowned restaurant that is extremely hard to get into. business is great, the customers love it. everything is as perfect as can be. that is until a harsh food critic leaves you a bad review. you're stuck with a dilemma, let this one review overcome you. or.....fuck him so he can change it. tags: smut, sort of public sex, vaginal penetration, oral, gojo is kind of mean and annoying, praise, degradation, doggy, missionary, cunnilingus, dividers by @cafekitsune word count: 6370
The one time you’re not here, the one time you actually listen to everyone’s complaints about taking time to yourself because you overwork way too much. The one time you use your PTO to vacation to Bali for a week,
A distinguished critic visits your restaurant.
You stare down at the screen in your hands, having not at all prepared for this news to be brought on you as soon as you enter. Its words stare back at you, taunting you almost. You’re half tempted to throw it across the kitchen, but that would be another expense added to your list of supplies you needed to buy for the upcoming month.
“What day did he come?” you ask as your pointer finger scrolls the screen, reading more of the nasty review that was left.
“A Saturday. None of us even knew he was coming.” Mayra, your head sous chef, replies. The rest of the staff stands around. Some in nervousness, anticipation, and even anger at the predicament. “We sat him on the top. Even made sure he had the whole floor to himself.”
The top floor, strictly reserved for distinguished guests who waited on your month long reservation list, or for those who would simply buy it out for the night. Your top floor is constantly raved about in the media, sometimes for its lavishness and other times in jealousy. Long story short, the top floor is for the best of the best.
And they gave him that.
But it seems he didn’t care for that at all.
“If you’re in the mood for a culinary adventure that feels more like a misadventure, look no further than Lovely Haven, the so-called “fusion” restaurant that blends American comfort food with Italian classics. Unfortunately, the only thing they seem to have fused successfully is disappointment and confusion. The result is a dismal failure that feels like a cruel joke on the palate, this is what happens when culinary confusion collides with utter mediocrity.
Let’s start with the decor—an odd mix of rustic Italian charm and the kind of neon signs you'd find in a questionable diner. It’s as if someone couldn’t decide whether to create a romantic trattoria or a roadside burger joint. The atmosphere is confusing, much like the menu.”
You scoff as you read this part to yourself. The decor? The decor was one of the things almost every customer raved about. Its bright lights mixed with sleek and stainless furniture was the epitome of success. Going as far as bugging your interior designer for days, even weeks on end, to get it down to the T.
Secondly, mediocre? How dare he? You’ve been in the culinary arts for over two decades now, and so has your staff. You were very nitpicky and quite a perfectionist when assembling your employees for your place of solace. Your 5-star Michelin restaurant, yes, 5-star. It only took two years to achieve that goal, which placed you as the quickest growing restaurant in your area. And he’s treating it like you’re nothing but a simple Applebee’s or Chili’s.
The balls on this man.
“Now, onto the menu—a dizzying array of choices that reads like a desperate attempt at creativity gone horribly awry. The lasagna burger is a prime example of this misguided ambition. It arrives as a soggy monstrosity, with layers of pasta and a sad, overcooked beef patty that would make even the most forgiving diner weep. It’s a culinary abomination, devoid of flavor and entirely forgettable.
Then there are the “famous” Alfredo fries, which manage to be both an insult to fries and Alfredo sauce. The dish is an affront to all things Italian and American, featuring limp, greasy fries drowning in a thick, tasteless goo that resembles some sort of industrial paste. It’s a disgrace, and I genuinely questioned whether anyone in the kitchen had ever tasted actual food before.”
By this point, your grip has tightened on the Ipad, jaw clenching and brows furrowing. This man, he really, really was an asshole. Disrespecting your hard-working kitchen staff was a low blow that you took personally. “How long did it take to get his food out to him?”
“Twenty minutes, Y/N.” Luke, one of the managers, replies. “I timed it and made sure it was prepared before the other guests who were dining.”
So not only was he being treated like a princess, but the other customers, who probably got there before him, received their food after he was served. All for the sake of him not reviewing your restaurant’s “unkempt timeliness”.
You continue to read the last few paragraphs while your stomach twists and turns.
“Service, predictably, matched the culinary catastrophe. Our server was inattentive and seemed more interested in their phone than in providing any semblance of hospitality. Drinks took an eternity to arrive—warm, naturally, because why would you expect cold beverages at a restaurant?
Dessert? Oh, you mean the “Tiramisu Sundae”? It’s a ghastly creation that defies logic, featuring layers of sad, mushy sponge cake drowned in what could only be described as a failed attempt at chocolate syrup. The entire dish is an insult to the beloved Italian classic, tasting more like a punishment than a treat.
In conclusion, Lovely Haven is not just a failure; it’s a disgrace to the culinary arts. If you value your taste buds and your sanity, steer clear of this pitiful excuse for a restaurant. Save your money and your appetite for a place that actually understands food. You deserve better.”
The silence that follows is harsh, awaiting a potential outburst from you. You lift your head and swivel around to glare at the group around you. “Who served him?”
Hesitance replies back, some of your staff looking down as though the ground seems more interesting than your death glare. It isn’t until you ask the question again, in a firmer tone, does Mayra respond. “Susan.”
Jesus christ.
As if things couldn’t be worse, who’s bright idea was it to decide that the slacking employee serves your distinguished guest. The one person who has been trying your presence since she was hired. “Where is—”
You’re disrupted by the kitchen door opening, the problem herself walking through with earbuds in and of course, scrolling on her phone. As she looks up and sees the numerous amount of eyes on her, her steps falter. Confusion sparks through her expression, but as soon as you step forward, it begins to click.
“You’re thirty minutes late, I put you on opening because you said you couldn’t close anymore.” You don’t even have it in you to lighten your tone, eyes narrowed and voice clipped in annoyance, frustration. “Your performance has been lacking for months now, do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Ever the brat she is, her arms cross. “I’m a busy college student, I have other priorities and things on my mind unlike the rest of you.”
“And I understand that,” you snap back.”But there is a difference between having other priorities and simply not caring. You don’t listen, you show up late, and you’re using your phone while you’re on the floor. Do you understand how extremely disrespectful that is?”
A moment of silence passes as she seems to formulate what to say in her mind. “I jus—”
“You’re fired.” you cut her off. “Your last check will be deposited within 24 hours, do not come back and if you do, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”
Luke and Mayra, along with your other manager, Ren, sit next to you in your office. Computer screen displayed in front of you four while your fingers type away. Mayra glances at your focused expression before back at the screen. “Do you really think he’ll reply back? Critics don’t usually come to review a place for a second time, especially one they strongly advised against.”
“I don’t care,” you murmur, eyes not straying from the email you’re drafting out. “Out of the seven years we’ve been operating, we haven’t had a single bad review. And now, this entitled ass thinks just because he gets paid to eat and critic, he can ruin our reputation.”
Ren sighs, hand lifted to his forehead. “Y/N, it’s okay. One bad review doesn’t and won’t define us.”
“Besides, he’s known for being harsh, he does this to everyone,” Luke adds on.
“Even more of a reason for me to do this. I will not allow him to openly disrespect our hard work and dedication like this.”
The three around you give one another a knowing look, right before you click send on the email.
“Hello, Mr. Gojo.
My name is Y/N L/N, I’m the owner of Lovely Haven, a place you recently reviewed. After reading your honest review, I am extremely upset and apologetic for the food and service you received that day. That is not at all what we strive for, and again, I sincerely apologize.
If you would accept, I would like to set up a second visit for you. We are closed on this coming Friday, due to the holiday, but I’d love to personally serve you myself and answer any and all questions you may have regarding Lovely Haven and its history.
Please respond back as soon as you have a moment. Thank you again.
Kindly,
Y/N L/N”
“Hello, Ms. LN,
I appreciate you reaching out to me. I’ll come around 8am on Friday. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Gojo Satoru”
You;ve spent the better half of the past two hours setting up and making sure everything is perfect. You’ll be damned if you have a rerun of last time, especially on your watch. Your staff insisted you don’t handle this alone, urging for at least two cooks to be present. But you refused.
Lovely Haven is your business and creation, your heart. So in a way, you feel as if it’s your job as the owner to make this all right. If anyone can serve this man, it’s you.
You’re dressed formally, hair up (in case he tries to complain about hair in his food). Wearing a simple black dress, modest enough as it reaches your knees. It’s tight, but not too tight. You’re wearing small black heels to match, gold jewelry complimenting the attire.
The clock inches towards 8 and you, for some reason, find yourself feeling oddly nervous. Maybe it’s the anticipation or anxiousness for a second try. Your stomach curls, almost like you’re a lovestruck high schooler seeing her crush in the hallways. Sweaty handles fiddle together in front of you while your eyes dart from the watch on your wrist and the glass front doors.
Either this man had a penchant for being late, or you somehow mixed your days up and he’s not coming today. Dramatically, you check your phone and let out a sigh of relief when you see it’s Friday. Okay, good. Then he’s really just late.
Well, not exactly late. But he said he’d get here at 8, it’s 7:57. Usually people don’t get to places at the time they said, because if he came at 8 exactly, that is late. You should always show up at least five minutes before your estimated arrival time, at least that’s how you thought.
No, that’s how most normal, responsible adults thought.
Maybe he’s not normal. Can’t be if he gave you a one star and brutal review. He’s probably just trying to be different from the rest. And you hate people like that. Shitting on something that is actually good, whether it be a show or movie, simply because everyone else says it's good. And the fact that he’s known for his low reviews is even more infuriating.
There’s no way every place he visits is below three stars. It has to be his taste buds, they’re probably—
“Good morning.”
You snap your head up, completely lost in thought that you didn’t even notice, let alone hear the dreadful man walk in. Already not off to a good start. A smile finds its way on your face, hand held out, to which he shakes. “Good morning, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gojo. I’m Y/N.”
He nods, a small smile reciprocated back. “I figured.”
Is it just you or did he tone sound almost condescending? And that smile on his face seems like he’s the type to think he knows it all.
Nope, don’t do that.
Pulling your hand away after what seems like a longer than usual handshake, you step aside and motion towards the array of tables. “Well, why don’t I show you to your table?”
“Yeah, why don’t you?” he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his slacks, raising a thin, white eyebrow as if to silently urge you to start walking. You hold back an eye twitch, turning around and walking to the area you set up specifically for him.
He’s following behind you as you walk, the heels of your shoes softy clanking against the ceramic tile. As you glance back, you could’ve sworn you saw his eyes quickly raise up to meet yours. Like he was—
“I apologize for not being around last time, I was on vacation.” you say, cutting off your own train of thought that you won’t entertain.
“Ah, no worries. Where did you go?” His pace matches your own now, walking side by side as his arm barely brushes against your bare skin. “Somewhere nice?”
You chuckle lightly and nod. “Yes, I went to Bali. It was quite lovely. The people were very welcoming and the food was absolutely delicious.”
A hum. “Better than this place, I hope.”
That comment. God, that comment. And the fact that he’s hiding it behind his sickeningly sweet smile, a tilt to his voice like he’s joking but not actually joking. You’ll pray for the former. “I can assure you, Mr. Gojo, both residences of food are exquisite.”
You two get to the square table prepared for him. A crisp, white linen tablecloth across the surface, that creates a clean and elegant contrast that elevated the rustic charm. At the center, a simple yet striking centerpiece emerged—a small terracotta pot filled with fresh basil and rosemary, their vibrant green leaves offering a delightful aroma that whispered of Italian kitchens.
Polished silverware gleamed in the soft light, laid out neatly on either side, ready for the culinary delights to come. An elegant, crystal wine glass on the side. Cloth napkins, folded into intricate designs, rested atop his plate. The dual flickering candles in small glass holders cast a warm glow over the table, creating an intimate atmosphere that you hoped would help catch his eye.
Finally, a menu card that displayed the special dishes you had prepared just for him. You took the time out of your day to make this specifically for today, crafting your menu for a man who probably didn’t think twice about it was not on your 2024 bingo card.
He takes his seat as you stand in front of him, placing the menu closer to his reach. “Here we have a variety of our best sellers and limited editions. Just for you, Mr. Gojo.” Your smile gets a little harder to keep up as he lazily sits back in his seat, scanning the menu with his sharp, blue eyes.
“Interesting,” he observes, even flipping it over. He glances back up at you. “The stuffed arancini, is that good?”
“Delicious, sir.”
“Okay,” he looks back down at the menu. “Then I’ll get the Buffalo Cauliflower Bites for an appetizer, plus the Bruschetta Trio. Oh, and to drink, I want one of your craft mocktails.”
So he asks for your opinion, and doesn’t even order it. “Of course, Mr. Gojo.” You don’t write it down, having already committed his order to memory, due to years in the food industry. “I’ll get started on that right now.”
With one more smile, you turn around and head to the kitchen. As soon as the doors close, your face hardens with irritation. Walking around to grab the appropriate ingredients, grumbling to yourself curses. Sure you’ll make his food and smile at him, doesn't mean you won’t be a brat about it behind closed doors.
The minutes Gojo spends alone, he’s meticulously counting them down. Eyebrow raised as he eyes the kitchen doors and the arms of the small clock. Leg crossed over the other with his arm resting on top of the back of his chair that he;s currently tipping back and forth with the stability of his foot.
After about three minutes, you greet him with his mocktail, setting it down. “Here you go, sir.”
“Finally, I almost died of thirst, you know?” He huffs a small chuckle and he sips from the straw. You want to grimace as he swishes the liquid around his mouth, head tilting in dramatics. He’s acting like it’s mouthwash or something. As he swallows, you do your best not to focus on the bobbing of his Adam’s apple.
What do you think you’re doing? Checking him out right now, seriously?
“How is it?” Your voice raises a tad, either in nervousness or a way to calm your suddenly rapid beating heart.
“Not too bad, a little sour for me.” He comments, tongue coming out to lick across his bottom lip. “What’s in it?”
“Basil lemonade and berry spritz, Mr. Gojo.”
“Satoru,” he corrects you, eyes rolling while his hand waves around dismissively. “Stop calling me ‘sir’ and all that, makes me feel old. Besides, this is supposed to feel comfortable isn’t it? Don’t force yourself with the formalities.”
Well, that’s a small breath of relief. You simply nod. “Of course, Satoru. Then you may call me Y/N.”
“Was already gonna do that.”
“Right.”
A small pause follows, hands awkwardly fiddling behind his back. You didn’t even realize it before, but the way he stares feels really invading. Especially with how bright his eyes are, you’re starting to feel naked under his gaze. Like he can sense it, he grins boyishly. “The appetizers?”
You nod again, quicker this time, clearing your throat. “Yes, coming right up.”
And once more, you leave him be while you finish up his food. The bruschetta trio, a classic tomato and basil, roasted red pepper and feta, with wild mushroom and truffle oil topping, served on toasted artisan bread. This dish is loved among your regulars.
And the buffalo cauliflower bites which are spicy, crispy cauliflower tossed in buffalo sauce, served with a side of creamy blue cheese dressing. Perfect for customers with a higher spice tolerance, craving that explosive taste in their mouths.
Holding the two white, glass plates with ease, the doors push open by your back as you walk back over to him. “Bruschetta and the cauliflower, Satoru.”
He doesn’t waste time in taking small, careful bites of each platter. Humming in thought as he does this. It takes a couple minutes before he speaks, using the cloth to wipe at the corner of his mouth. “The mushroom is quite bland, the bread is too hard. And the blue cheese doesn’t go well with the bites.”
Each word is like a punch to your gut. He’s really just finding every little thing to pick at, isn’t he? Lips pursing, your eyebrows raise in faux consideration. “I see, I can remove the dressing for you, and I’ll serve you a softer piece of bread.”
Your hands reach out to take them away, just as his moves into frame. Your fingertips brush against the back of his hand. “No need to take them away, just stating facts.” His smile never seems to leave and each growing second, you feel more and more tempted to wipe it off his face. He gently pushes your hands away, interlacing his fingers together. “Do you expect replacements to suddenly wipe my memory clean? Why should I have to rely on you giving me a replica of what I ordered, when the original piece should’ve met my expectations?”
A little caught off guard by his sudden questioning, you gulp and clear your throat. “Well, if something is not up to par for my guests, it is my duty to replace that with something that is.”
“Sure, but I’m asking why it wasn’t perfect the first time.” He leisurely sips from his mocktail.
A small, but forced laugh leaves your lips. “We do try our best every single time, Satoru. Being perfect has proved hard when everyone has different tastes.”
“So you just give out generic food and hope for the best?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re excused.”
Your brows begin to furrow at his nonchalance, lip barely quirking down into a frown. “I’m sorry, but our food is not generic. We serve with love and dedication.”
“Love,” he repeats in a mocking tone, picking at the bites with his fork. “This was made with love?”
He’s really getting on your nerves now. “Yes, it was. If you do not like it then I can remake—”
“I’ll take the balsamic glazed chicken,” he cuts you off. “With the alfredo fries. You’re talking about remakes, right? Then make those fries good this time. Thanks.”
You can’t help but stare down at him, the nerve he has is beyond rude. His demanding nature contrasts with your helping one. But, you stay resolute in your politeness, mumbling a small ‘of course’ before disappearing back into the kitchen.
It’s a disaster, truly.
A hard, long, infuriatingly annoying disaster.
Every platter crafted with delicacy and carefulness, he sets aside with calmness. Claiming how the littlest of little things was wrong or how it tasted bad. He even makes a couple snide comments about where you learned to cook from and they should be ashamed.
No matter what, however, he conceals his comments with those stupid laughs you’ve started to despise.
Like it’s funny to him how much you’re failing to please him.
Sweat threatens to trickle down your forehead, using a spare towel to dab at your face. Your hair has started to become a tad unkempt, having to constantly push stray pieces of hair out your face and even grabbing at your hair in frustration. This is probably your own fault for setting this all up, but never did you imagine it would turn out like this.
His table is filled with a variety of plates and dishes stacked unceremoniously on top of each other to make room for the next one.
Throughout it all, he watches your struggle in silent amusement. Everytime you turn around to stomp back into the kitchen, he gets a clear, nice view of the way the fabric of your dress tugs around your ass, legs sleek with whatever lotion you decided to put on.
Your perfume fills his nostrils as you come back to him, to which he feels more and more motivated to bring you down and just stuff his face into the crook of your neck. Or the middle of your plump thighs that have just been calling out to him like a siren.
Satoru would like to think he’s a man of self control, but you’re really pushing him, and you’re not even trying.
He’s being purposeful with his actions just to keep this entire visit long. Just so he can keep checking you out and biting his lip as he inhales your scent. Just so he can have the ample amount of time to force down the boner he has from under the table.
And well, because he’s really, really looking forward to dessert.
You breathe out a heavy breath, one of exhaustion as you present him with yet another platter. He laughs to himself as he takes a bite.
“Meh, too soggy.”
That’s it. “I’ve given you everything on the menu.”
“Oh, have you?” His head tilts innocently.
Your teeth grit. “Yes, I have.”
“Well, that’s a bummer. You really shouldn’t have had such a limited variation.”
“It’s not lim–”
“Dessert, right? That usually comes after the main course.”
“......yes. What would you like?” You’re forcing your words out by now, hands twitching as they threaten to grip his pretty throat.
Wait, pretty?
Jesus christ, can you stop thinking that right now?
“Hmmmm, let’s see here.” As his eyes scan over the desserts listed on the menu, a frown, or a pout, makes way onto his lips. You close your eyes for a second, counting from one to ten and back. “Is this it?”
“Yes.”
“I have to say,” he lowly whistles. “none of this looks very….appealing.” As he looks back up at you, there’s a small glint in his expression. One that almost causes you to shiver, for some reason.
Is he playing with you now?
“Nothing?” You ask, arms crossing over your chest. “All of that is what guests order the most.”
“Well, I’m not some regular schmegular guest, now am I?” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s standing, one hand stuffed into his pocket while the other meekly points to you. “So, what do you say? You gonna give me something I actually want?”
A small huff escapes from your lips, now longer having the strength to hold back your irritation. “I’m sorry?”
“Oh cmon, don’t give me that.”
“Give you what?”
“That.” He juts his chin in the direction of your scowl. “Do you usually frown at your customers?”
“I frown at men who take my kindness for granted,” is your response, eyes narrowing. “Also, you have been nitpicking every single thing I’ve given you. You’ve been extremely rude about it.”
“Rude? Is honesty rude now? I thought you wanted my honesty.”
“There’s a stark difference between the two.”
“Really?” He leans closer, face teetering on the line of too close as his point finger just barely skims across your forearm. “Mind enlightening me?”
Your breath almost hitches, skin feeling all too warm. You peek down at his finger before back to his face, heart beating faster than normal. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“What’s it look like?” He counters.
“Like you’re trying to flirt with me.”
He barks out a laugh. “Trying? No honey, I am. Why, do you like it?”
“No, I don’t like being flirted with by rude and random men.” You reply, tilting your chin up. “Especially you, sir.”
His grin widens. “Cute. But you know what I don’t like?” As he steps closer, you’re forced to step back. “No dessert.”
His finger travels up your arm, your shoulder, then stops at your jawline, head tilting as his breath fans your cheek. “So, what else can I eat?”
This is stupid. So stupid. Dangerous. Idiotic. Out of character. Anything that means bad.
Is this really all for a good review by some asshat who takes joy out of making people's lives harder? Or are you actually enjoying it?
You feel disgusted at the situation, angered and infuriated that you’ve fallen into his trap. You want to curse out to whatever gods that may be watching and demand why you couldn’t hold back.
Either way, you’re not the only one who couldn’t hold back.
Your breath hitches, a broken string of whines leaving you as the flat of his tongue runs through your slippery folds. His hands on your thighs keep you grounded in place atop the table, because your hips keep twitching up in need of more friction.
You can’t even see his face as it’s so far buried into your wet pussy, practically stuffing his face with it. But god do you feel him. The tips of his hair tickle your inner thighs. His low moan reverberates through you, making you shiver and tingle with excitement.
“A—ahh….!” Your hand finds a place on his hair, pulling as your head tilts back with another moan. “F—fuck…”
His lips smile against your skin, pulling away for a second to look up at your blissed out expression. His face is coated in your juices and you haven’t even came yet. “Pretty good, might be the best thing I’ve had today.”
As he goes back to ravishing you, his tongue slips into your aching hole. Which causes your back to arch up, a higher pitched whine leaving you. “Tad salty, very sweet.”
His comments feel degrading almost. But with the way your thighs threaten to close around his head, pushing his face closer to your cunt, he has a feeling you like it.
It’s electrifying and confusing at the same time. You’ve never been one with hookup culture, you’re not a virgin either but this is on a totally different level. Here you are, letting him tongue fuck you in the middle of the empty restaurant in which you were supposed to be serving him.
Technically you are still serving him.
He urges your hips closer to the edge of the table, spitting harshly against you as he delves back into giving you the best eat of your life.
His tongue alternates between your hole and clit, giving both equal attention while his fingers knead the plush skin of your smooth thighs. Your toes curl in your heels and you feel so close.
You can practically taste it on your tongue, not even mindful anymore of the noises that you’re making. Too engrossed in the utter bliss of the way his mouth sucks and licks at your folds.
You don’t even know you’ve finished until he’s come back up, licking away your release that’s plastered to his pale skin. Left panting and staring up at the dangling lights that feel blinding.
What brings you back down to Earth is the soft clanking of metal. Your head whips down just as he’s unbuckling his pants, eyes blown wide. “W-what are you doing?”
He simply looks at you, shrugging with nonchalance as his belt comes undone, button and zipper next. “Gonna fuck your pussy, what else?”
You scramble to sit up, but he’s faster. Holding your legs open, leaning his face closer. “What? Don’t wanna?”
“I—I shouldn’t. I mean, we shouldn’t.”
“Pfft, why not?”
“Because this wasn’t supposed to happen!”
“But it has,” he tugs his slacks down, giving you full view of the raging boner nestled under his black boxers. His hand reaches to give himself a few strokes. “Haven’t been this hard in a long time.”
You feel your release ooze down onto the tablecloth, hole feeling empty as it clenches around air. All you can do is watch him jerk himself, gulping as you lick your lips. “This is….really wrong.”
Yet it feels so right.
His lips touch the side of your neck, kissing and sucking a small mark into your skin. You tilt your head for him, arm coming up to hold around his neck. Chest heaving up and down. “I’ll fuck you good, I promise.”
Your eyes are instantly drawn down to his leaking cock as he pulls it out. Long and thin veins decorating the length with pre-cum leaking out the head. Trimmed with a small white bush of pubic hair at his base. It looks pretty.
He huffs out a breathy laugh, titling your face up to him, lips meeting. His lips are soft and plush, melting into it. He keeps his hand on your nape so he can deepen the kiss, tongue invading your mouth like a snake.
Spit dribbles down the corners of your mouths. All the while he’s teasing your entrance with his cock.
“Ngh!” You pull away, face scrunching and mouth agape.
“Mm, like that?” His tip runs up and down your slit, smearing his pre into your folds and around them. The sight is lewd. “So wet, just from my tongue too. How many guys make you finish from just eating you out?”
Out of all the times he tries for a conversation, does right now have to be one? “N-none…”
He hums. “So I’m the only one? I like that.”
He finds your hole, just barely pushing in. Your nails claw at his shoulders, whimpering into his ear. “S-shit, just wait a second…”
“For what?” His voice is husky, brows pinched together. The warmth from your cunt practically enveloping him whole.
You croak out something unintelligible. For a few seconds, you two stay frozen like this. But that’s cut short as he slowly begins to slide deeper. “Shit, stop squeezin’ me.” He grunts.
All you can offer is a weak “I’m not” before being cut off by a breathy moan, one he replicates with you. He moves in deeper and deeper, until he’s finally buried to the hilt in your warm pussy. It’s big, bigger than you’ve ever taken. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
His fingers dig into your hips while your nails into his shoulders.
Practically feeling his cock twitch within you, you have to hold back squeezing around him even more. But it just feels too good not to. It makes you feel full.
As he begins to move, he’s whispering dirty praises into your ear.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.”
“Who knew you had such good pussy.”
“Look at you, sucking me in like a good little whore, huh?”
“Best fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever had.”
Each word he emphasizes with a quicker thrust. The silverware clanks around you, some even falling to the ground. The table creaks and the cloth crumples up. “W-wait….slow…ngh!”
“No slow,’ he patronizingly laughs, his gaze darkened as he looks at you. “Going fast, you’re gonna take it too. ‘Cause you’re a desperate little thing, aren't you?”
You whine out, biting down hard on your lip you’re surprised you’re not drawing blood yet. He takes this as an invitation to devour your mouth once more. The kiss is harder this time, more sloppy. Seems sloppy is his thing.
Before you know it, he manhandles you to flip over, ass high in the air while his hand forces your back down into an arch. “Just like that. Stay still and I’ll let you cum again.”
With this new position, he’s able to hit spots you didn’t even know were there. All you have to hold on is the cloth of the table, balling them into your fists while he mercilessly pounds into your pussy from the back. His balls hit your clit in a repetitive motion that damn near causes you to see stars.
Noises and mumble words fall out your mouth like water, the side of your face being pushed down into the hard surface. His hand twirls and tangles in your hair before giving it a hard tug back.
“Mngh!”
With one hand on your hip and the other in your hair, it gives him all the reigns to perfectly fuck your squelching hole, pace unforgiving. And what’s he doing the whole time? Laughing. That asshole is laughing.
Either at your state or the fact that you fit so perfectly snug around his cock like a ring.
It’s like he’s moving on autopilot, just one thing on his mind. Fucking you like your his fleshlight he keeps in his room. “Maybe I should’ve come here sooner—fuck—could’ve had this pussy all to myself even sooner.”
He groans, head tilting back as a familiar sensation bubbles in his stomach. “Ah, god…fuck.”
“D-dont cum!” You half-heartedly shout, body trembling in preparation for your second release of the day.
“Hah?” he huffs out. “You tell a guy who’s fucking a pretty pussy he can’t come? You’re crazy.”
“Ah….hah…!” You mewl out, squeezing around him.
He curses under his breath, hips stuttering. A warm feeling erupts deep within your cunt, causing you to whine. It makes your whole body feel as if it’s on fire, thighs shaking. Your cum mixes with his own, dripping down the backs of your thighs in a disgusting manner. You’re left panting for air
He spends a good time watching it all happen, and as he pulls out, seeing your hole twitch and tremor around air almost starts to make him hard again. He leans over, hot air hitting the shell of your ear, his voice low and husky. “Up for more?”
Monday, 9am.
Incoming message from
Mayra:
Check your email, forwarded you something.
You groan tiredly, fingers fiddling with the bright screen of your phone. Clicking on the wrong app a couple times before opening your Gmail. You press on the email from Mayra, an attached link.
The link leads you to a familiar site, embarrassment painting your features as you read.
“After a rather lackluster first experience at 'Lovely Haven,' I was pleasantly surprised by my second visit. Walking into the restaurant felt like stepping into a cozy embrace, with the ambiance perfectly set to spark a little magic. The soft music and intimate lighting created an atmosphere that made everything feel just a little more exciting.
Let’s talk about the food. I started with the savory starter, which was a perfect balance of flavors. Each bite was a tantalizing tease that had me eagerly anticipating what was to come. Then came the main course, which was cooked to perfection and bursting with flavor. It had just the right amount of kick, leaving me wanting more and more.
I decided to try their special dessert this time, and let me tell you, it was absolutely divine. Each bite was a burst of flavors, rich and decadent, just how I like it. The way it melted on my tongue was nothing short of a culinary revelation. I might have lingered a little too long over that dish—can you blame me? It was like savoring a sweet secret that just kept getting better.
But let’s not forget about the service. The owner was not only charming but also incredibly attentive. There was a delightful chemistry between us that made the evening even more enjoyable. She made sure I was well taken care of, adding that special touch that turned a simple meal into something unforgettable.
If you’re looking for a place that offers more than just food—something that tantalizes the senses and leaves you feeling revitalized—I highly recommend giving 'Lovely Haven' a try. Just be prepared for some delicious surprises that might have you coming back for seconds (or thirds!). I certainly will!"
a/n: first smut piece kind of. if there's typos, pls overlook them, i was very tired and in heat. sorry if it's not very slhow burn :( but i hope you all enjoyed. thank you smmm <3
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru smut#jjk smut#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen#x reader#jjk#gojo satoru#jjk gojo
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Just made the most overcooked cringe fail Mac and cheese of my life
#i let the pasta boil for too long cuz i got distracted#so its not even the kimd of good overcooked mac and cheese with like burnt cheese on top#its barely even salvagable#worlds most fucked up kraft dinner
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“POLKA DOTS AND MOONBEAMS”
steve rogers x male reader.
𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 & 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓—headcanon [ 4.1k ] 〳 part one
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒—male reader 〳 domestic!au 〳 mid-century!era 〳 'roommates' 〳established relationship 〳 secret husband!steve 〳 mentions of period-homophobia 〳 brief quarreling 〳 sexual content: top!steve, bottom!reader, love-making, breeding, milking, praising, verbal, dirty talk, body worshiping, guidance.
𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀���𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑.
Secret Husband!Steve Rogers who coasted the city and was on a mission to find the best spaghetti and meatballs with you.
‣ "Verdict?"
‣ Steve's gaze looked right past the fork held before your lips, watching your mouth and expression twist and turn like the spaghetti noodles around the fork prongs prior.
‣ "It's good... not great. The sauce isn't as thick as I'd like for it to be... but it tastes fresh? Basil leaves adds a nice balance to the acidity... but the meatballs are a little overcooked. What do you think, Steve? I'm too picky, aren't I?"
‣ It was written all over your face. Satisfied, but not impressed.
‣ Unlike the last restaurant where you two had the misfortune of eating bloated pasta noodles and watery red sauce, this place was edible and especially generous with their serving.
‣ Decent, if Steve had the chance of writing a one-worded review for the paper.
‣ "You're not picky, just particular, but I agree. Red sauce is good—Padrino's still better. Meatballs are pretty tough, aren't they... but I do like the flavor of them. You can tell they used a fattier mixture compared to the rest. A lot of garlic too, which makes up for the lack of it in the sauce..."
‣ "Not as good as Mama's?"
‣ "The moment we find a spaghetti that's as good as your mother's, is the day we find a way to squeeze water from stone, (M/N)."
‣ "Don't mention that to her. I don't need her ego to be any more inflated than it already has been."
‣ Dates like these were never boring.
‣ No matter how many times Steve had watched your face wrench in disdain or light up in surprise, he always found it a joy to watch you participate in this arbitrary—now routinely—idea of critiquing spaghetti and meatballs so earnestly.
‣ To be fair, it wasn't like you two had a slew of options to make dates seem... more like dates.
‣ In fact, there shouldn't have been any options offered on the table in the first place.
‣ Any intimations that you and Steve were on a date would've been subject to a location change.
‣ Most likely, a candle-lit dinner in a jail-cell, dined over cold hard concrete, and Steve was sure the spaghetti and meatballs served there was going to clutch last place in his ranking.
‣ Though, Steve was hopeful that the romance would still be alive and well had it ever come to that point.
‣ You had a thing for restaurants with a gimmick.
‣ "Seven out of ten sounds about right?"
‣ "What about dessert? We can't leave without getting the tiramisu, Steve."
‣ "Since when did we factor in desserts for the scoring?"
‣ "What—since we started. Don't tell me you've been only ranking the spaghetti and meatballs... it's all about the experience, the... the je ne sais quoi—heard that on the radio once!"
‣ "The je ne sais quoi—this is why I wanted you to be the one logging everything down, (M/N)!"
‣ It took more of a toll on him than it did on you.
‣ Well, if it did, then you did a stunning job at maintaining your usual optimism.
‣ Whenever you two were out in public, Steve felt hammered by this distance pushing him apart.
‣ It was a conscious effort on both ends—a natural one that pertained to the business of being in a homosexual relationship
‣ Or just being a homosexual, period.
‣ Steve understood it. He abode it. And he hated it.
‣ Often, when the conversation between you and him would come to a slow, Steve would look right past your shoulder, right at the lucky couple who were in his sight-line—a gentleman with an impressive mustache and his lady—and simply stare.
‣ His thoughts wandered.
‣ The gentleman was unabashed in his public flirtations with the woman.
‣ Massaging her hands, tending to the aches in her knuckles with firm, but appeasing presses.
‣ The smell of his cigar was pervasive, but the lady didn't seem to mind. It seemed like she thought it was rather charming when he blew a smoke towards her face.
‣ One hand would run up her arms in several strokes, rough callous grinding down her goosebumps, and the man would compliment how soft and supple her skin was.
‣ The lady would bat her eyelashes, giggle at the man's public display of affection whilst also maintaining some sense of courtesy to halt his advances when a pair of curious eyes were enough to render her cheeks scarlet—like the lipstick she had worn for the evening.
‣ Steve hated this restraint. This lack of freedom that forced him to talk to you as if you were his co-worker.
‣ To look at you as if he had no affection for you whatsoever when that was further from the truth.
‣ To touch you as if you were an infection that could cost him his life, and him to yours.
‣ That wasn't completely off from what society thought of people like you and Steve, was it.
‣ "It's not nice to stare, Steve... quit it."
‣ "If I can't even look at my own lov—you, what else am I supposed to do?"
‣ "Steve—come on, not now. You know how it is. It's hard, I know. But... we can't just be cooped up in our pad and wear out its virtues. It's nice to go out every once in a while, even if—it has to be like this."
‣ "It's just not—fair. Maybe—maybe we can do something. It doesn't feel right if we're doing nothing about those bar raids too. They're increasing, you know? Becoming more violent and—"
‣ "Hush. People are staring to look."
‣ "Why do you seem completely fine with this? Hiding ourselves—"
‣ "Look, I don't like it as much as you do. Hell, it's killing me on the inside that I can't even smile at you like how it would naturally come. But I'm okay with hiding—because it's for my safety, and most importantly, for yours. I don't ask for much, but I've envisioned the near end of my life to be fulfilled and labored with no regrets. With a house where I can harvest my own apples from my own tree. With a lazy pup that knows better than to eat through my laces. All of that would be possible because I hid—no—because I endured. And I would heavily prefer it if you would join me in that life. Call me a coward, spineless, or selfish, but I don't want it to be our last, Steve. It's terrifying—to know that any day I could lose you to violence and persecution, myself included. So, please—just hold it out for longer—that's all I ask of you."
‣ Most of all, Steve hated that he was envious.
‣ He wished he could be the one wiping sauce stain off your lips.
‣ He wished that he could hold your hand over the table and stroke the ring on your finger that you could've kept on.
‣ He wished that he could stop the tears from welling in your eyes like he often did back at home.
‣ He wished that he could tell you that he loved you, either with a mouthful of meatballs or none at all, because in the end—it would've felt better than communicating those three words with three taps of his foot to your shin.
‣ You nearly reached over for his hand to calm him down, but pulled your back straight upon the fright of a passing waiter and opted for the cipher that was could only be cracked between you and Steve.
‣ Three gentle kicks to his shin, once more to his other leg, and Steve sighed for pardon, returning the cipher gently to your own shin.
‣ He wished he could openly compliment how handsome his husband looked tonight, ramble how grateful he was to have you in his life, or complain about how you kicked him a little too hard, but that was all well and fine because it meant that you were still present.
‣ Freedom—All of it, the positives and negatives, without the looming threat of a policeman pummeling you and Steve with a nightstick afterwards—because that was normal.
‣ Because that was life.
‣ A life that will pay in the long run.
‣ "Check, please."
𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐃𝐄.
Secret Husband!Steve Rogers who ambled the misty street of Brooklyn Heights with you, the night dew giving everything a hazy look as you and Steve passed through moist air, side-by-side.
‣ "I was brash tonight, Steve. I apologize."
‣ "No, no... you were right. If anything, I was being a fat head. I was out-of-line. I'm sorry."
‣ "You were right too, you know. It's not fair. It's not that I don't want to do anything about it, I really do. I just—it can't be the two of us tackling something bigger than us. Everyone is petrified, Steve."
‣ "I know... but if we somehow all come together in some kind of union, then maybe—we can call for a difference. Show them that enough is enough. Show them that fear is no longer something they can instill in us."
‣ "Like a rebellion or something?"
‣ "Well, if it has to come to that, then so be it."
‣ "You know a guy, don't you..."
‣ "I know a guy."
‣ "Is it Bucky?"
‣ "What—how'd you know?"
‣ "Steve, you only know one guy."
Secret Husband!Steve Rogers who was detoured into a dark alleyway between business building blocks. There was the droning sound sound of night, the low and humming resonant as the city had fallen asleep, all but two guests.
‣ "(M/N), what are we—"
‣ "All that quarreling made me forget to tell you how dashing you looked tonight. You know I especially like your hair combed back like that, Steve-o."
‣ He didn't need much of a hint as to what you were getting at.
‣ Squeezing in between a narrow passageway that would luckily only admit two bodies at a time, you and Steve were obscured from any wandering eyes.
‣ From judgement of the world.
‣ "Steve, you ought-ta listen to me more. Blue polka dots look darling on you."
‣ "If I recall correctly, you were the one who wanted me to wear a pink tie, darling."
‣ "Pink would've made me sauced my pants..."
‣ "You. Are. So. Vulgar."
‣ Shadows cast over his squashed body against yours, the moonlight only lighting the parts that mattered the most right now.
‣ The laughter that left your mouth after each peck Steve would grace you with.
‣ The lips that had him feeling withdrawal symptoms after an unbearable few hours of watching you lick sauce off your lips.
‣ The hand that tug Steve closer by his tie.
‣ The eyes that drew Steve in closer, until the tip of his nose touched yours.
‣ "Have I told you how much I love my cologne on you, darling?"
‣ "Have I told you how much I prefer your cologne rubbing off on me, as opposed to me spraying it on directly?"
‣ Slowly, breathing, pacifying; Steve's invisible stubble made your mouth twitch with a scratch, one of your many quirks he found himself silently obsessing over.
‣ And that was enough to push him over the edge, and finally kiss you like he'd wanted to since the evening had started.
‣ It was slow, almost careful like Steve was afraid of breaking you.
‣ Steve wasn't expecting this self-restraint from you. He wasn't expecting your hands on his jaw, tenderly massaging at either sides to keep your hands preoccupied while he slid his tongue alongside yours.
‣ He wasn't expecting to hear his own pulse because you were so stubborn in maintaining this control—you refused to summon urgency by vaulting your moans into the back of your throat.
‣ But Steve knew you more than he knew himself. He knew how you liked your eggs in the morning. He knew the perfect temperature for your bath. He knew you from the mole on your back, to the stance when you were impatient.
‣ He knew that if he led one of your hands right here—feeling the cusp of his growing bulge—that you'd give Steve what he wanted, and fall completely apart.
‣ And Steve knew that—by the eager palm of your hand, shoving into his unbuckled pants and groping—he was right.
‣ "Steve—just fuck me right here, yeah? I can't take it anymore."
‣ "Honey, we don't have any slick..."
‣ "Then give it to me raw. Use your spit. The rain. I don't care, I need you—"
‣ Your lips were warm and soft when Steve kissed you from rambling into the void again. His hands were against your stomach and chest, and your moans sent shivers down his spine.
‣ "Christ—turn around."
‣ Against the brick wall, teeth sinking into your forearm, you took Steve in without any regrets. Cold sweat breaking over your skin like evening dew collecting on window sills.
‣ "O-oh, fuck—slowly, Steve—"
‣ You could feel Steve's heart beat against your back, pushing further into you, huffing into your neck.
‣ "I love you."
‣ "I love you."
‣ From then on, you and Steve lived without any regrets.
𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍.
Secret Husband!Steve Rogers who relished every inch of your body; with his eyes, with his mouth, with his hands, with his body, with his being—until you found yourself transported wholly to all different kinds of sensations, and he'd repeat to discover new ones for you.
‣ "You're good at this, you know."
‣ "Humor me?"
‣ Steve was mouthing at your inner thigh, one hand stroking your leaking cock, and the other pumping his Vaseline-slicked fingers into you.
‣ He looked up from his eyelashes, teasing your sack with a lick.
‣ Another lick, because he liked being distracted by your body arching off the bed, crinkling the sheets in the process.
‣ "Good at loving me. You know what I want, what I need—just like that. Putting another finger into me without asking of me if you can. Twisting—fuck—turning me out, all based on how my body responds to you."
‣ "Well, it's not difficult to gauge what you need. Your nails dig into the sheets when it's too much. Your fingers and toes curl when the pleasure's coming in. Your hips roll—when you need more, or a new fix. I'm no magician you're making me out to be, (M/N).
‣ "You notice all of that? That's embarrassing... and here I thought I was being alluring..."
‣ Steve layered his thick cock in slick, capping the tin and tossing it to the bedside counter after.
‣ He teased your prepped rim, observing how the ring of muscle would catch a string of his pre-cum and latch onto it with a clench.
‣ At the sound of your moan, at the sight of you toying with your nipples, at the torn decision between preening—you knew that he liked the sight of you biting your lips—and ceasing his taunts.
‣ Steve's cock veins pulsed, his cock pleading for him to fill that delicious hole before him, otherwise it would live in agony for as long as it could leak.
‣ "I do, and it's not embarrassing. I love how you—mm—like that. I love how you immediately wrap your arms and legs around me when I finally push my cock inside of you.
‣ "Oh, Steve—"
‣ "I love how you call my name, just like that. Say it again."
‣ "Steve..!"
‣ He pressed his forehead against yours and groaned with you. His hips racketed off your ass in a slow, but increasing rhythm.
‣ You held onto him, hands over his neck, anchoring him close until the only way you could have your fix of air was through Steve's lips.
‣ Steve's mind was empty, except for the thought of your hot tongue roaming into his mouth and the swelling grasp your walls had around his loving cock.
‣ "Like that... I love how I can decipher every meaning behind the way you call out to me."
‣ "Fill me up so well, Steve—baby. Can feel you deep inside of me. Ruining me with your cock. Your balls slapping against me, God—Steve!"
‣ Your moans tasted delicious on his tongue. If they were seeds, they'd bloom colorful hybrids of fruits because your love for him couldn't be defined by one singular hue.
‣ You were an array of colors—a prism conjured by the way Steve loved you.
‣ Red, because you were gritting your teeth as Steve had you taking him balls-deep, filling you up to the brim, and stretching you to the shape of his pistoning cock.
‣ "Fuck me harder, Steve—"
‣ "You're taking me so well, darling..."
‣ "When have I not?"
‣ Orange, because Steve rendered you speechless except for a few gasps, with his cock grazing your prostate and his hand over your cock, stroking while kissing at your neck.
‣ "O-oh, fuck—oh, fuck!"
‣ Yellow, because you were on top, straddling Steve's lap and yielding to the nearing high that you both had been gauging.
‣ You took your sweet time to make love to Steve with your body. Hands braced on his chest, combing your fingers through the light hairs, deeply rocking back and forth on his cock after a couple of lighthearted bounces.
‣ You marveled over his well-built body, following the contours of his muscles with one hand while silently admiring his broad chest, perky nipples, and wide shoulders with your tongue.
‣ The smell of aftershave on him was infectious when you came up for a brief kiss. You kissed at his lips, then his chin, licking at the short blades of stubble before pulling away to preen again.
‣ Your back straightened and you spread your thighs apart for Steve to get a good look at how hard he was making you.
‣ Your cock throbbed, swollen a pronounced shade at the tip, bouncing to the rhythm of your hips, all while you devoted your mouth and tongue to Steve's thick fingers, suckling and laving your tongue over every digit, every vein, every knuckle—thanking him for opening you up so well with the slick of your saliva.
‣ Steve was absolutely keen on watching you worship him with one hand tucked behind his head, the other stroking your cock when he would finish appraising your body with a couple of fond strokes.
‣ "God, look at you. You're so beautiful. I could do this all day, watching you ride every vein on my cock..."
‣ Green, because you built up enough energy to reverse your straddle and take the lead for once. You wanted Steve to see all parts of your body, especially the asset that had been drawing out those glorious moans deep from his gut.
‣ You knew it was a pretty sight that would teeter Steve closer to the edge.
‣ Sweat ran over the plump mounds of your ass as you were propped up on your forearms, slamming down onto his thick cock.
‣ Skin rippled when your ass repeatedly hit his groin, and then prickled, when Steve grabbed a handful of your sweaty flesh out of pure enchantment before swatting it as a stimulus to your slowing hips.
‣ "How's the view?"
‣ "Stunning..."
‣ Blue, because your body was covered in shivers from the way Steve had captured you into his arms and pummeled icicles into you from behind.
‣ Kneeling upright, Steve had embraced you tightly, supporting your core with a flat palm while simultaneously engaging his, thrusting into you.
‣ His hand was around your throat to feel every vibration that would squeeze from your throat and then pour into his mouth like a saucer of milk as he swallowed your sweet moans.
‣ Like Steve's cock, his other hand was equally uncompromising. He squeezed into the pulsating veins of your cock, stroked your shaft, and teased your glans with a thumb.
‣ When you sank back into the dip of his hips, Steve would propel you forward with a strong thrust, forcing you to fuck his closed fist in midst as he held you from ever retreating back on all fours.
‣ He loved that dazed look on your face. Wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. Flushed like how you were abashed by his compliments to your novice cooking, yet only a hundred times worse.
‣ He also loved the way he had fucked you into being inarticulate, muttering a slurry of words—warnings of you coming soon, Steve would later learn after turning his ears up.
‣ "Steve, stop, stop—I'm going to c-come—seriously—"
‣ "Come for me, (M/N). I want to see you stain the bed. Want to see you come because of me. Only me. Want you to drench my fist and—Christ, there we go..."
‣ Violet, because you were red, and Steve was blue.
‣ You spilled heavily over his fist, shooting large, thick ropes of cum over the bed sheets. The sound of the cum splatters making your cheeks run hotter than the warmth drawing out of you.
‣ Each spurt shot further and further the harder Steve pounded into you and milked your orgasm with unrelenting strokes to your shaft.
‣ His thighs slapped into yours, resonating the bedroom with a sharp thunder that was sure to wake up the tenants.
‣ His cock punctuated deep into your guts, hard and sweet against your prostate.
‣ You cried out as Steve battered your insides with his cock, with his undying love for you. Biting into your shoulder to contain his groans, but Steve had enough of this restraint, of constantly holding himself back.
‣ He growled behind your ear, filtering out the resentment society had instilled in his body as he let his grunts loose, replacing that bitter feeling with the antithesis of knowing that he wanted to live life to the fullest.
‣ With a house that grew oranges alongside your apples.
‣ Steve thrusted harder.
‣ With an indifferent cat that couldn't care less about your torn shoelaces.
‣ Your moans hitched at the sharp snap of his hips, his cock digging somehow deeper into your guts when he pushed you lower into his groin.
‣ With a fulfilling life that was lived without regret.
‣ Steve felt himself come undone upon the last thrust. Every fiber of his muscle unraveling like pointe shoes after intense wear.
‣ He held you tight as he shuddered against your, his pulse anchored and soothed by the palm of your head on his cheek, stroking him affectionately.
‣ Silken white, he spilled his hot seed deep inside of you, weakly propagating the warmth from the outer rim of your raw, swollen hole, then to the deep depth of your walls and prostate, milking himself until he was jelly in the legs, until you were creamed, from inside and out, with his thick cock.
‣ You and Steve shared one more kiss, another breath, heaving and panting like you two had never kissed before, before his stance eventually gave out and made him collapse over your body.
‣ "Think—I might bump the restaurant earlier up a few spots, (M/N)..."
‣ "Why's that?"
‣ "Must've put some kind of aphrodisiac in that spaghetti... I'm deeply spent."
‣ "I disagree. It must've been that couple! I told you it was all about the experience—that je ne sais quoi that I've been talking—"
‣ "You really aren't going to stop saying that, are you?"
‣ "Shouldn't have fixed my radio if you knew you were going to be disappointed, Steve."
‣ "That's where you're wrong. If you think anything about you is disappointing to me, then I'm not being a great husband, am I?"
‣ "Well, look at you being all sappy tonight."
‣ "Too much?"
‣ "Never too much. I'm far too gone to ever think otherwise, Steve-o."
‣ "Me too, darling. Me too."
nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x male reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers headcanon#steve rogers fic#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers fanfic#nou.fics#x male reader#male reader insert#male reader#steve rogers smut#steve rogers#captain america
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we took a polaroid picture [s.h.] 18+
an: hiii just a little something because i was bored and thinking about steve harrington, shocker! hope you enjoy :)
masterlist
summary: you're steve's girl and he loves to show off the polaroid of you he carries in his wallet. but he also has a few he keeps for himself...just himself. (steve harrington x fem!reader)
warnings: cursing, illusions to sex and m masturbation but not really detailed descriptions, naked pics of reader taken with consent, little smutty but not much 18+ MDNI!!!
wc: 1.7k
Steve had a polaroid of you in his wallet.
It was you in a pale yellow sundress that made Steve’s mouth water as it flowed against your tan skin. You’re sitting in a field against a red checkered blanket with your eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back as you laughed at something Steve had said. A perfect strawberry pinched between your fingers and drops of the sweet red juice on your chest and fingers from the bite you’d taken. It was beautiful, perfect even. He kept it tucked away but would pull it out at any given chance to show anyone that would look how beautiful his girl was.
At the grocery store? He brought it out at checkout or in the produce aisle to show some teenage cashier who couldn’t care less or some kid restocking who looked at Steve with an eye roll before turning back to his job. He could be walking down the street or out to eat with his friends and if someone said hello or made polite conversation he was tugging his wallet out of his back pocket, whoever he was with letting out a small sigh as he grinned proudly and showed you off. It was cute. Steve was cute.
Now it wasn’t the only polaroid he had of you, but it was definitely the only one he showed off.
Under his bed in a pretty pink envelope that had been sealed with your lipstick print was a stack of polaroids that made his cheeks burn and his chest hurt from how pretty you looked. He had brought it up one day, more as an incoherent mumbling when he was inside of you, but the idea had stuck with you and the more you thought about it, the more you decided you wanted it.
Steve hadn’t thought about it since that night, so it’s a surprise when he’s standing in his kitchen, chopping vegetables for your date night dinner when out of nowhere you bring it up again.
“Stevie?”
A noncommittal hum left him, too focused on not chopping his fingers off while he worried that the sauce might be burning or the pasta would overcook. “Yeah, baby?”
You weren’t sure why you felt nervous, this was his idea! And realistically you knew that there’s no way he’d ever say no but still a part of you was hesitant. “Remember the other night when you said you wanted to take pictures of me…just for us to see…”
He’s lucky he didn’t lose a finger with the way his hands faltered, back straightening and eyes flying toward you to make sure he wasn’t making this up in his head. “I, uh, I do remember that, yeah,” clearing his throat he put the knife down and walked around to stand between your legs that were open and dangling over the kitchen counter, “that’s something you want, baby? For me to take some pictures of you all fucked out pretty?”
God how did he get so fucking lucky? He had been with girls before, had been in love before, but nothing could have ever prepared him for you. Everyone in Hawkins fawned over you, the sweet, innocent little girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly and left a trail of fucking glitter and rainbows in he wake.
But Steve knew better. You had him fooled at first, all shy smiles and red cheeks when he’d so much as look at you. It didn’t take long for him to figure you out. It was only a few months before you’d be in his ear at cookouts begging for him to take you to the bathroom so you could suck him off. You were the princess of Hawkins but at night you’d call him late at night when your families were sleeping and have him listen as you touched yourself to all the things he’d ever said or done to you, little pleas and whines leaving your lips as he listened on the other end of the line with his cock hard and eyes squeezed shut.
And now here you were, in his kitchen with that look in your eyes as you asked him to take pictures of you naked, fucked out on his cock or his fingers or his mouth. Please god let it be his mouth.
That was a few months ago and it was the best fucking thing Steve had ever done, the best thing you had ever done. He felt like a horny teenage boy the way he’d reach under his bed for that envelope. He’d grab it after spending the day with you, when he missed you, fuck even when he had you underneath him in his bed.
Today had been a great day with you. He’d woken up with you wrapped around him and had breakfast in bed, you’ve insisted that you didn’t count as breakfast but he refused to hear it, and the rest of the day was spent watching movies and eating junk food and making out so much his lips were swollen and swore.
You couldn’t stay with him tonight and after being pressed up against you all day he didn’t have any choice but to pull out the pictures of you, his pretty girl.
It was hard to focus on what he was doing, looking at you made it difficult for him to do much of anything these days. He remembers when each one was taken and it makes his hands twitch at his sides instinctively, wishing you were here to hold onto.
The first one is…innocent enough. You sprawled out in the middle of his bed with his favorite t-shirt raised high enough to show a sliver of your tummy and the hem of those goddamn lilac panties that make his head spin. No bra underneath, he’d never forget that and even if he did your pebbled nipples straining against his shirt would remind him. You’ve got a sly smile, bottom lip between your teeth as he stands over you and has you pose for him. He swears your eyes fucking sparkle looking at him like that.
The second one is far less innocent, his tummy clenching as he stares down at you, literally stares down because in this one you’re sitting on your knees in front of him. All that’s visible of him is his cock, hard and aching like it always is around you, and his spread thighs you’ve fitted yourself between. You’ve got one hand wrapped around his cock, the other shows your fingers digging into his thighs. What really gets him is that face of yours. Your head is cocked to the side, cheek squished against his thigh and a smirk on your face as you look up at him with those fuck me eyes that only you can do. He remembers how he felt, how he was panting above you and begging for your mouth like his life depended on it.
“Please please please, baby. I’ll do anything, anything you want I swear on my fuckin’ life. M’all yours just please let me have that pretty mouth, i need it, need you bad.”
He doesn’t remember when he wrapped a fist around his cock or when his hips started thrusting up, lifting off the bed so urgently it shocked him. He doesn’t remember anything or anyone but you and all he knows is he won’t even get to look at the other pictures tonight because this one, this one is his favorite. It’s hidden in the middle of the stack and he can’t help but smile, knowing you moved it from its spot at the back. You know he won’t last once he sees it and he’d laugh if he wasn’t throbbing so hard and a deep moan wasn’t clawing its way up his throat.
His favorite picture, his favorite girl. This one is you on your back, shirt gone and tits held between your hands. Your nipples are peaking through your fingers and it makes him whine in the back of his throat. Prettiest fuckin’ tits he’s ever seen. His eyes move lower, one of his hands gripping onto the soft curve of your hip, he remembers you had little fingerprint bruises there for a week or so and it drove you both fucking crazy. The other hand is holding the camera, doing his best not to drop it on you but it’s so hard when you’re looking at him like that and saying the things you were saying…
“Please, Stevie…put it in, just the tip please. I want a picture of it, I need it, please. I’ll be good, promise, won’t move or anything. I just need you.”
And who was he to tell you no? Especially when you begged so pretty and asked so nicely. “Fuck, ‘course, of course. Anything for you, I'd do anything. You’re my girl, yeah? My good, pretty girl.” It’s hard for him to make sense or think with his cock that close to your dripping cunt, all red and swollen and begging for him.
He moves past your hips, looking to where the tip of his cock was pressing into you, pushing in with no resistance because you had planned this. Had planned to beg and plead with him for this picture and the idea had turned you on so much you were dripping.
That was what did it, looking at you all spread out, taking his cock with that smirk on your face and your tits out for him to drool over. His stomach and hand now covered in his cum, head laying back on his pillow and even though he’s sweaty, curls sticking to the back of his neck and his chest is heaving from cumming so hard his vision is blurry, he can’t help but smile.
You’ll giggle and tease him tomorrow when he tells you he only made it through three of the pictures, giving you a playful smack on your ass for sticking his favorite in the middle of the stack, and he won’t care about that teasing because if you’re smiling and happy, nothing else matters to him.
Plus he can always save the rest for a rainy day, or tomorrow.
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington smut#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#steve harrington x you
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YES bapo songs analysises! I like earlier versions for the foreshadowing (Ivy singing "I can fix you if you let me try" and Peter just going NOPE, Nadia singing "Loves my brother, God, it makes me sick / You are risking both of your salvations" so we are already introduced to Nadia's brother being somebody that Peter at least pines over, then the students with no last names tell him that he's on a mysteriously inevitable deadline)
and I just had a thought that between Nightmare Ivy making sexual advances on Peter and "Is it I, Lord? Is it I?" Peter's dreaming mind got confused at some points who this would happen to because Peter and Jason are soulmates with the same heart and destinies intertwined
but I understand why these lyrics had to be changed. It's a use of dramatic foreshadowing, but I would still keep wondering who in-world sent the supernatural vision, and what they even expected Peter to do to prevent whatever the dream was warning him about, or if it's Peter muddling things in his mind all the time, or what the song is trying to foreshadow and establish...Is it trying to say that Jason would have lived past graduation if only Peter had been the one to break up with him and prayed away the gay?
If Epiphany contradicts 911 Emergency, are there devils and angels sending contradictory prophetic visions to that one religious gay kid who apparently gets prophetic visions (as ye do)? Or is it all nothing more than a nightmare or a drug high? Either way establishes Peter as a really, really weird kid. I love him for that. John Torres' Peter talked to stars. Peter's such a strange little boy.
Later versions of Epiphany lyrics make it more simple and clear: 1. establish that Peter is gay. It could be both that he genuinely lives some stereotypes and that he is worried about others suspecting that he's gay based on association with those stereotypes. And 2. foreshadow one major future event with Matt.
York and BlueRep productions stage Epiphany far more violently: Matthew Corr's Peter is really having a nightmare about his own mother beating him probably-to-death with a golf club, probably a callback to John Torres' Peter asking John Griffin Jason to be there when he comes out to his mother "in case she [Claire Simmonds] starts swinging", and Bibo Reyes's Peter gets shoved around and his hair pulled and glowered at by the entire expanded cast of students too realistically.
Yes to the choral arrangements, the trapped and cultlike vibe, and the leitmotifs.
I like A Million Miles from Heaven better as a song, but Epiphany does a better job at establishing the characters and foreshadowing the plot. I didn't perk up with "oh i think i like this show" until You & I, though.
Bare: A Pop Opera song saga- #1 Epiphany
So I've decided to post some of my 'half-analysing half-raving about every song in Bare: A Pop Opera' posts in here because I can. If even 1 person out there appreciates hearing someone's else's thoughts about this, this will have been worth it, because I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this too. Alright! So my thoughts on Epiphany:
Perfect balance of funny, catchy, Christian and angsty for this musical.
The stagecraft is usually very interesting for this number but my favourite version of the choereography has to be the 2004 Michael Arden version solely because of how much they carry and throw him around. Really emphasises how powerless he is against his peers and the authority figures in his life, and makes his character growth all the more satisfying, where he gains the courage to come out but also to understand the true gravity behind coming out. Also it's just so fun to watch!!! Unfortunately most of the lyric changes were a bit of a letdown, the original lyrics are the best in my book. Personally I found the LA version's choreography rooted in one position, leading to less of a dynamic effect- Payson's Peter had a lot more space and freedom to watch them say their anti-gay Christian stuff than Michael's Peter did which made it feel a bit like a strange fever dream rather than a full-on nightmare sequence.
Speaking of the original lyrics, shoutout to "looks around in gym, it pleases him"- it both makes me laugh and is sung SO well.
Also speaking of the original lyrics! I find it very interesting that the phrase, "loves his female singers, loves to cook" is included. It's gay stereotypes that aren't central to Peter's character in any way- we never see him cook or enjoy cooking, and he references Diana Ross once when high. I see this being interpreted in multiple ways- 1 being that he genuinely does love female singers and cooking and he sees those as being signs of his gayness that he must hide or else he'll be found out, or 2 being that he is being really paranoid that something like him being fairly familiar with who Diana Ross is will lead to people calling him gay- even if it's so small it's almost insignificant, in a toxic environment or with high levels of paranoia, it's perfectly plausible he is scaring himself over the smallest of things. I know, I've done that. It's just interesting to me.
The ending of the song-- the harmonies are SO GOOD!!! The overlapping harmonies of "bear the cross" culminating in them chanting it more and more aggressively till Peter wakes up is so urgent and fun to watch while also giving the cult-sense of religion gone too far.
There are so many motifs introduced here, like Matt's motif, the Epiphany motif and the Bare motif (the song). It's always really cool going back and relistening to these with the new context you have, and it means so much more when you do. The more you listen, the more you discover!
#bapo#And you all know what—cast of fictional characters—but especially the heterosexist high-school-in-the-1990s boys?#When Peter goes to college he'll be making unpronounceable pasta sauces#and perfect Malaysian curry FROM SCRATCH#and he'll be baking rum cakes for his neighbors#meanwhile YOU'RE trying to microwave bread into toast and using condiment sauce packs on your crunchy-yet-overcooked pasta#and then crying manly tears at how expensive takeout is compared to cooking your groceries#because you don't know how to cook groceries#because you thought that a basic life skill that involves wrangling knives and fire WOULD BE TOO GAY#take THAT Jake and Chad from the 1999 workshop versions!#Also I'm imagining Peter eating Rory's brownies like 'there's another ingredient in here that I can totally deconstruct by taste alone...'#and before Jason tells him 'ITS POT BROWNIES' he was two third of the way through it because eating them made him hungry#as the pot brownie paradox goes.
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three words, eight letters 💌
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: written imagine
word count: 4.01k (got carried away)
notes: ok ik there are several of this prompt here but i wanted to give it a whirl :]] also in a slump with my ig imagines so i figured i should finish this since its been a draft for such a looong time lolol no warnings, this is just very fluff-coded!
about: the three times charles almost said "i love you," and the one time he finally did.
Charles wanted to tell you the three aching words he's stored in containment. All he wanted was the right time and the perfect moment, but for the love of his and his alone, he just cannot find it.
He had been racking his brain on how to tell you - because when he looks at you, it's like those three words are just going to explode out of his chest. Every time you smile, laugh, or even breathe in his direction, he realizes just how smitten he was for you. He thought about just saying it out of the blue, unplanned but also when the time felt right. But he also thought about going about it as if it were a proposal because you deserve nothing less than the best he can give.
There were times he thought it was too early to say.
You had just been dating a few months in, and though he felt strongly for you and he did love you, he didn't want to say it too fast or too early out of the fear that it might drive you away.
It's no secret Charles was no chef. He gets a good laugh when other drivers tease him about it but he doesn't pay it any mind. Some people are just good at other things, like how he sucks at cooking but can drive a car that goes as fast as lightning. It is also no secret that he wanted to impress you with skills other than driving - so he doesn't know what entered his mind when he realizes he's on his way to the supermarket as he decides to try and cook dinner.
He scoured the internet for an easy recipe, finally smiling to himself when he finds a simple pasta dish he thinks he can do. To an average person, the dish was really easy to make. So simple that an unsupervised child could follow it. Directions were clear and the website had pictures - he just needs to make a simple sauce, cook some pasta, and grate some cheese. He tells himself nothing could go wrong, what he was about to cook was absolutely just elementary. But he's not an average person, he was Charles, and he is a terrible cook through and through.
Having convinced himself he could cook something so simple, he had forgotten how he messed everything up. He's pretty sure he blacked out, because when he came to his senses, the pasta was overcooked, and the sauce mysteriously evaporated into the air so the pan was just red drops with charred pieces of cheese on the side. He tried to taste it, and he deems it inedible. He was so occupied with cooking it had slipped out of his mind that you were coming over, so the next thing he hears is the sound of your soft knock on his door.
The kitchen was an absolute mess and the apron he wore was extremely dirty — he almost thought about pretending he wasn't home and not answering the door. Of course, he doesn't do that, so he lets you in and the first thing you smell, is cheese.
"Were you cooking?" was the first thing you ask him.
He didn't answer, instead, he planted a chaste kiss on your lips and hurriedly walked back to the kitchen.
He had expected you to laugh once you saw the mess he made by trying to cook just to impress you, but surprisingly, no chuckle erupted out of you.
"Sorry," he says softly, taking off his apron and quickly cleaning up the pots and the bowls he used up.
"I wanted to cook you dinner. I found this recipe online and I thought it was easy," he sighs. "Cooking absolutely hates me. You're okay with getting takeout for now?"
He really did expect you to laugh.
But the second sentence that came out of your mouth: "I'll help you clean up."
It didn't take a lot of time to clean everything up. Thanks to Charles' inability to measure things, he had a ton of extra ingredients, and since he seemed to really like the dish he aspired to cook, you decide to make it for him.
Charles sat at the counter watching you calmly cook the recipe he'd intended to accomplish, your hair parted to the side while you wear the ridiculously messy apron he had worn earlier. He watches you cook the pasta and the sauce at the same time, able to keep your eye on both without neglecting the other. To your defense — the recipe really was easy. But Charles didn't seem to think so, which was why he was sitting on the counter with heart-shaped eyes.
"See, this is what it should look like when the pasta is done cooking," you hold up a piece, cutting it in the middle to show Charles it has cooked through.
"It helps if you check it from time to time if you're not sure. For the sauce, I think you just had your heat on a little too high, but that's okay — you can do it right next time." you smile softly at him, eyes squinting before you shift your attention back to the pan.
Charles had tried cooking before. But up to this day, you were the only one patient enough to actually teach him how. And it didn't help that you looked so beautiful while doing so; hair parted to the side, apron hanging a bit loose on your body, and a smile so captivating it blinds him a little. You weren't perfect, you did laugh at him eventually, but not before guiding him through the recipe he'd chosen. And quite surprisingly, he could cook this same exact dish properly for Arthur next week.
It was clear Charles was no help in the kitchen, so he resorts to hugging you from behind, head resting on your shoulder, breathing slow and steady. He gets a whiff of your shampoo and your perfume he absolutely loved. Your hands soon make their way on top of his that rested on your stomach, thumb rubbing circles on his. Charles was pretty sure you could feel him smile widely behind you, a thought he chooses to ignore because he didn't care anyway, he was at his happiest.
"I lo—" he starts, catching himself off-guard. For a moment, time stops; and he's not sure what to say next. He thought it was too early, but he wanted to say it.
"I love pasta, you know that?" Charles continues, trying to save whatever he's left with. Thankfully, you didn't notice his desperate attempt to cover his supposed mistake.
He tells himself: maybe next time.
Charles' mother had been pestering him for a long time about meeting you. Every time he came home, he was greeted with, "When am I going to meet your girlfriend?"
Even his brothers, Lorenzo and Arthur, were all so ecstatic about meeting you properly for the first time. The two see you around the track for brief periods of time, but in their defense, you haven't introduced yourself properly to Charles' family. It didn't help that Charles himself talked about you like you hung the moon and stars, and made the universe using your own bare hands, because his whole family, mother and brothers aside, all wanted to meet you.
The two of you were finally headed to Charles' childhood home, finally about to meet his entire family. And the word entire was an understatement because everybody was there. From aunts, cousins, and his nieces and nephews, all of them were anticipating your arrival. A lump forms in your throat just by the thought, but you try to battle it with a deep breath as you fixate your eyes on the mirror.
"Do you think they're going to look at this dress and think it's too revealing? Or too short?" you shout from the closet, straightening out the creases of the crisp white dress you were wearing.
Charles enters the room and he swears he could have just died right then and there. How you manage to take his breath away with minimal effort remained a mystery to him.
"I think..." he drags the second word. "I think they are going to be completely in love with you."
"Hopefully not in the same way I am, because I don't plan on sharing you." he softly chuckles, giving you a reassuring smile.
Technically he had said the l word already but to him, it didn't count, only because he didn't say it to you directly.
An hour into meeting you, the entirety of Charles' family adored you wholeheartedly. He didn't want to give credit to himself but he knew they would find no reason to not love you, though he reminds himself to tell you he told you so when you get some time alone together later. He could listen to his family members praise you all day. You had managed to meet each and every one of his side of the family present at the dinner and Charles could not help but admire how carefree you were at interacting with people he held close to his heart. His mom could not stop raving about how great you were and kept asking why he did not introduce you earlier that it makes her slightly mad, which was followed by a hearty laugh and an assurance that she loved you to bits.
You just managed to dazzle and charm every person you talked to. His brothers adored you and you managed to get along so well with them even if your most apparent common denominator with them was racing. His aunts could not stop telling Charles how beautiful you were and how you seemed to be so kind and fit so well with him. They were already asking Charles when's the next time you visit and you haven't even left his home yet. For some odd reason, you got along well with his uncles, too.
But the cherry on top, the last straw, and the tipping point that tugged the heaviest on the strings of Charles' heart were seeing you with his nieces and nephews. He was fond of children, gleeful every time he sees one on the paddock, especially when they are clad in colors of red and yellow, his team's staple color scheme. However, he never knew how disastrous it would be for him to see you with children.
There you sat on the patio, his niece behind you as she messily tried to braid your hair. You had a big smile on your face, laughing at the somewhat theatrical act his other nephew was performing in front of you. In your hands was a glass cup with gelato and a small spoon, raising the spoon occasionally to feed the little girl tying your hair. His lips slowly form a smile and he feels his chest was bound to explode any time soon. He stood there and realized that he was completely, utterly, and irrevocably in love with all that you are. In other words, he was down bad, and he wouldn't even dare deny it.
After the festivities of getting to know each member of his family, you and Charles were finally given time alone in the kitchen. Everyone else was occupied setting the table and fixing everything up for dinner. You were part of it though, he just found you getting the pies in the oven after you volunteered to do so.
"I told you so," he says, slightly taking you by surprise, not enough you drop the pies though.
You turn to him with a sheepish smile, "Told me what?"
"That they would love you," he replies.
"Well, I am very loveable. Can't blame them."
"I know you are. That's why I lov-" he transitions into telling you what might be one of the most important things he's ever going to say in his life.
"Charles, dinner's ready!" Arthur calls out, cutting his train of thought. The two of you shift your gaze to the dining area, seeing Arthur and Lorenzo waiting for the two of you.
That's why I love you. That was what he wanted to say.
Charles sighs, telling himself that maybe getting cut off was a sign that this was not the right time. He'd repeat himself, but he thinks there are other times when he could tell you he loved you without interruptions.
"What were you saying?" you ask, not wanting to hang him out to dry.
"Oh. I said I know you're loveable. That's why I love seeing you charm every single member of my family."
Charles was not having the best day. His own team had botched his home race for him once again and on top of that, he had gotten a 3-place grid penalty in Monaco. Don't get him wrong, he was ecstatic to be home. The warm welcome of the fans was unbeatable. Banners, posters, and the Monaco flag waved around the streets of Monte Carlo.
This season has not been good to him so far. So just once, he wishes to catch a break.
The two of you were walking around the paddock as Charles was headed to the Ferrari motorhome to prepare for the race. His hand was on your waist as he guided you in the sea of people. The track was entirely at capacity - engineers, celebrities, VIPs, reporters, you name it. A few meters from the garage, a reporter from a well-known sports channel calls his attention.
It was routine, and Charles was used to it. You were standing not too close beside the cameraman, just watching Charles answer the questions he was asked. The reporter's inquiries were the usual, he had asked how Charles felt about the penalty, how he thinks the car will perform, what upgrades Ferrari is planning on implementing, and all the likes. You watch intently, giving Charles a small smile every time his gaze went your way.
Though the reporter fixated on Charles' "disappointing home race", his words, Charles knew how to handle the questions and answered them composed and professionally. After all, he has been doing this for quite some time. Deep down, it stirred you slightly as it seemed like the reporter was only recognizing the lapses on Charles' side and insinuating that it was entirely his fault.
You tried to pay it no mind until he makes a passing careless and offensive commentary that you could not just let pass.
"I guess some fans were right - monegasques today have nothing to look forward to. Wonder how they feel when their only driver is not only in a horrible car but is tussling with being nothing special."
Nothing special.
Nothing to look forward to.
Something in your ears rang and your vision went dark. You could see Charles' face drop from where you were standing and your heart absolutely broke for him. He proceeds to nod his head toward the cameraman and made haste and you did not hesitate to follow him right away. If you felt distraught and angered after that comment, you wonder just how he felt after hearing it, and at his home race, nonetheless.
"Charles, wait," you jog slightly, seeing as his pace was a lot faster than you. You could tell he just wanted to get out of there. You reach for his hand, tightly grasping it and he stops walking.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that," he says lowly, upset written on his face.
"Why are you sorry? It's his fault. He was offensive and careless. He humiliated you and worse, what he was saying was not true."
"C'est bon." It's okay. You two were finally at the garage, a little far from the reporter. Deep down, though Charles wanted to at least defend himself, he feels all the energy he has left had been sucked out of his body.
"No, it's not. He doesn't know what he's saying. I don't want to let him get away with that, he can't just go around telling people things like that. You may be too nice to tell him off but I'm not."
"You don't deserve this," you say with conviction, walking away from the garage and prepared to give the reporter a piece of your mind.
You don't plan to cause a scene, you knew better than that. You weren't going to shout or curse, but you wanted to get your point across. Soon after Charles follows you, clearly trying to stop you but was too late when he saw you already talking to the reporter. He had no choice but to walk closer to you, grasping on what you were saying.
Your voice wasn’t loud. From where he was standing, he could see how calm and composed you were while you gave the reporter the lecture he was probably not expecting. The track was fairly busy and noisy. You could hear engines starting, and conversations of people he doesn’t know, which caused his inability to understand and hear what you were saying.
He just stood there - watching you defend him from the asshole of an interviewer, your hands making small gestures for emphasis. The reporter’s face slowly displayed guilt and resentment as if he was clearly affected by whatever it is you said. Soon, the noise around him subsided and the only thing he was able to hear was the last thing you told the reporter.
“I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that about Charles ever again. If you’re only going to disrespect one of the most hard-working people I know, better to not approach him in the slightest. He did not pour blood, sweat, and tears into this sport just for you to utter those words to him.”
Your voice remained soft but it was steady. You turned your heel against the reporter and a cameraman who was clearly surprised by what he just witnessed. You walk back to him, giving him a small smile.
He wanted to just stand there and stare at you. No one has ever done that for him before. He had his fair share of disrespectful interviewers and questions that downright offended every fiber of his being but he always chose to not pay it any mind. It did not help that you were the kindest person he knew — so seeing you decide right away to defend him like that just made him feel all sorts of things.
The two of you proceed to walk back to the Ferrari garage, your hand tightly grasped by Charles. At the time, he desperately wanted to embrace you and whisper just how much he loved you. He wanted to drag you to a discreet corner and just hold your face while he tells you the three words he’d been keeping to himself.
But he remained frozen in awe of you, and so he fails to tell you once again.
“Can I-” Charles starts, trying his best to get up from the couch.
“I already told you. The answer is no,” you reply firmly, shifting your gaze to the man with the slightly swollen cheek.
He huffs a little bit loudly, wanting to show his disappointment.
“Baby, the doctor said no strenuous activities. You just had your wisdom tooth extracted, so no, you can’t go skiing with Joris.” you say as you walk toward the couch, fluffing the pillow his head rested on and putting a soft blanket on top of him.
“Please just rest. You lie down right where you are and I will be preparing dinner soon. I just have to finish something first.”
“My favorite?” he asks, putting on the sweet tone you were always soft for.
“Anything for you, my patient.” you smile, planting a kiss on his forehead.
“Okay. I’ll rest,” he sighs, adjusting himself on the couch to face sideways. “You take care of me so well.”
Charles was under a lot of painkillers. His dentist appointment had been rescheduled hundreds of times as he claims to be too “busy” to get his wisdom tooth extracted. If it weren’t for your incessant nagging because he was already in pain, he probably wouldn’t have pushed through with it. He tried his best to look tough in front of you, but as someone who drove cars that are as fast as lightning, you could tell he was nervous.
The doctor had to reassure him that there would be anesthesia plus painkillers to combat the pain he would be feeling after. After finding out he was medically allowed to eat a ton of ice cream after the procedure, he was more than happy to oblige.
However, the combination of Charles, anesthesia that’s wearing off, plus painkillers is not equal to a drowsy Charles. He had more energy than usual and was naughtier than normal. In other words, he was hyper. He was not muttering nonsense like the famous wisdom tooth aftermath videos on YouTube nor did he want to sleep all day. He wanted to do so many things he was about to get overstimulated. So no matter how weak in the knees Charles usually made you nor how you always give in when he asks you for something, skiing and going to the gym for a heavy workout after he just had his tooth extracted were just things you cannot say yes to.
Not long after, the ever so fueled with energy of a boyfriend you had was deep in slumber on the couch. He probably tired himself out from listing a thousand reasons why you have to let him go with Joris and his friends today. He was ceaseless, after all. His lower body was covered with the blanket that you put on him earlier, chest slowly heaving up and down, mouth slightly apart, and lightly snoring.
He looked so peaceful. For a while, you just sat beside him and went on to study the features of his face. The pointed nose, the tiny freckles that are most evident when the sun hits them, and the eyes that seem to contain galaxies and universes in it.
“I know you’re staring, chérie,” he quietly says, eyes still closed.
“No. I’m just checking to see if your face is still swollen.” you reply, playfully rolling your eyes at him.
“Not swollen. Just say you’re looking for an excuse to study my beautiful face.” he teases, shifting himself so he’s now in a seated position.
“That’s the anesthesia talking, Charlie,”
“Wore off already.”
“Fine, I was staring. You’re so pretty, how could I not?” you say, shrugging your shoulders before standing up to prepare dinner.
“I love you.” Charles says before you could even move away far from the couch where he was seated.
I love you.
You stop in your tracks, your back still facing the Monegasque who was clearly waiting for a response yet slightly relieved he told you what he had been wanting to say for a while now.
“I already know what’s going through your mind,” he says, lightly laughing. “This is not the painkillers nor the anesthesia talking. I’d spent so much time debating on when to tell you.”
“So many accidental “I love you’s” thrown away. Figured there’s never a right time. I love you every single day so why wait for a perfect moment?”
“I love you. So so much.” he repeats.
You turn to him with a smile you can’t contain, walking over to him and engulfing him in what seemed to be the tightest hug you’d ever given anybody.
“I hope you know I’m still saying no to the skiing.” you laugh.
Charles chuckles, and you could feel the vibrations of his laughter from his chest. His grip on you only tightens, sighing in relief.
“That’s okay. I’d rather be with you anyway.” he says, squeezing you once more before breaking away from your embrace.
“Hmm, swaying me with pretty words, Leclerc?” you raise a brow.
“Never!” Charles smiles sheepishly as he puts both his hands up in defense.
“For what it’s worth — though you’re like a child hopped up on sugar earlier, I love you too.”
-------------
tagging: @slytherheign <3
notes: i think this is my first time writing something this long! i also have a 3.5k word work in progress but i cant find the will to finish it lol very angsty though!
thank u sm for reading and lmk what u think hehe <3 also pls send requests for ig imagines for charles! will try to do it as soon as i can!
#writtenbyrae#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x oc#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 x oc#formula 1 fluff
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Max is the youngest Dutch chef with three michelin stars and is seen as the world’s best cook by most of the relevant people. Buuut the word gets out that he doesn’t treat his cooks very nicely and then one time, someone he had fired said Max got physical in several instances. Max thinks it’s all bullshit and doesn’t listen to the buzz, he wants his food to speak for him. So what if he raises his voice sometimes? They are not in kindergarten, for fuck’s sake.
The restaurant’s marketing team is not thrilled. They make a plan to salvage his reputation. Basically, they make him be the judge for one of those Masterchef VIP things, where he needs to comment on horrible food made by some celebrities who are usually too dumb to read the script. He says he will do one season, unfiltered, and then never walk out of his restaurant ever again. He doesn’t care about his reputation in the tabloids, he only cares about his stars.
Daniel just won his third WDC. He’s also there. Cooking. His marketing teams think this is a beautiful opportunity to milk the American market. And Daniel is like, you want me to cook now? Okay. He is on top of the world, he doesn’t give a shit.
His opinion changes drastically during the first challenge.
They are supposed to make a food they would cook for a friend. To balance Max out, the other judge is Charles. With one Michelin star. Max tries not to make himself look too smug about it.
“So, what is this pasta situation?” Charles asks Daniel, who is currently failing to drain the pasta water without getting rid of half the pasta down the drain.
“Um, I’m making pasta and chicken,” Daniel smiles and points at the charred chicken breast served on the table. He puts a bit of pasta next to it unceremoniously, “There it is! I’m done.”
Max narrows his eyes. “With sixty minutes on the clock, you are done after twenty?” he asks.
Daniel giggles, “Yeah, I drive fast cars for a living.”
“Your girlfriend must not be thrilled about your performance.”
Daniel laughs nervously. Max doesn’t join him. Charles bites his lip so as not to snort out, and points at the selection of spices Daniel hasn’t touched once during the cooking.
“Maybe you could play with the seasoning now,” he says to soften the blow that came from his co-judge. Max moves on to another contestant without saying anything else.
When Daniel brings them his final dish, Charles says, “It’s bland,” while Max looks him straight into eyes and says, “The chicken is so overcooked I feel like it had been killed years before I was born.”
Daniel’s palms are sweaty, his jaw keeps ticking. He still laughs, loud, too fake. He sees Max visibly cringe. Even worse, the judges pick the contestants into their teams after that. Max picks him into his blue team as the second-to-last.
They finish rolling and Daniel practically runs to the changing rooms, speed dialling the head of his marketing team.
#i said let him COOK#chef au#maxiel#f1 rpf#f1 fic#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#my ficlets#my writing
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Personal coach Red Hood
Here have this as I turn off my computer to go the fuck to sleep.
Part 1 | Part 3
---
Ever since that weirdo jumped at him a few days ago, Jason couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched. He didn’t believe the woman was working for a major villain or was out to get him — she proved she could hold her ground in a fight, so she could have attacked him any time if that was her objective — but he was starting to think something more sinister was going on.
Glimpses of her long red hair on the corner of his vision, always just out of sight, but close enough to make him paranoid to check every shadow and every corner, waiting to see her jump at him with that stupid smile.
What was her deal, anyway?
Personal trainer? Mentor?
What does that even mean?
Whatever, he was going to ignore her until she gave up. It didn’t matter the reason she thought it was a good idea to follow a vigilante, and former crime lord, around the worst parts of Gotham; but he was going to make sure she abandoned the fixation on him and went back to her life.
***
She did not give up.
That woman — Jazz, she said — was relentless and inserted herself in the wildest situation just for a chance to talk to him. Was she trying to prove she could take it? That she was strong? That she was worthy?
In any case, Jazz ended up as the most consistent hostage, kidnapped, mugged person in Crime Alley. Always there, with a giant smile and her stupid notepad, like a crazy woman.
He was starting to think she was actually insane.
“But it’s fun!” Stephanie insisted one time. “It's like you have your own number one fan!”
Jason groaned.
The others learned about the stalker and of course twisted the whole thing like it was anything other than annoying and inconvenient. Dick said it was romantic, but Damian was the only one sane and agreed that her stalking tendencies could prove dangerous.
Then… Then that’s when he started finding food.
He knew where it came from, because the woman always waited nearby and watched him investigate the containers, holding her breath, and groaning when he threw the containers away or left them abandoned.
One day he was too weak and tried one. It was pasta. He was very hungry, coming back from a long campaign to rip apart a new drug ring forming under his nose. He was injured and was positive that everything at his apartment was not edible, so he risked it. He was immune to a lot of poisons, so he was positive he wouldn’t die from this.
It was the worst plate of pasta he had ever tried.
Who fucks up pasta?
Overcooked and undercooked at the same time, and you can tell she tried making bolognese sauce from scratch, but it just wasn’t working. Also it needed salt.
He didn’t finish it and looked at the woman — Jazz — in the eye as he threw away the rest.
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JJ not having money for valentine's day but planning a cute date with him
A little late to the party, but here's a cute valentine's day blurb
—
You knew JJ couldn't afford to get you anything big for Valentine's day, so you decided that you wouldn't buy each other anything. Valentine's Day was about spending time with the person you love, not getting each other the most expensive gifts. So you invited him over to make heart shaped pizzas for dinner and watch movies. It was simple, but you knew JJ would love it.
‘’There's never enough cheese,’’ he said, adding more to the mountain on his pizza.
‘’You can't call this a pizza. It's just cheese and sauce.’’ You looked around the table for a veggie that he would not scrunch his nose at. ‘’Here, add some red bell peppers—’’ You grabbed some red bell peppers and tried to add them to his mountain of cheese, but JJ caught your hands.
He shook his head. ‘’Uh uh. No veggies allowed on this pizza! This is Chef JJ’s pizza. Do not interfere in my zone,’’ he said in an exaggerated — and terrible — Italian accent.
You laughed at his antics. His humor was one of your favorite things about JJ. He loves to crack jokes and make stupid voices just to make his friends laugh. Unfortunately, he often used humor to cover up his emotions and pain.
As you watched the pizzas cook in the oven, it was obvious which was which. Yours had a very clear shape of a heart and JJ’s was all kinds of crooked. It wasn’t as aesthetically pleasing as the cute date pictures that flooded social media, but you still took a picture of them before eating and posted it.
‘’Yours is too perfect. It's not fair,’’ JJ complained when you got them out of the oven. ‘’Mine looks like a messy blob.’’ He poked at the uneven edges of his own creation, burning his finger in the process and hissing.
You chuckled, rolling your eyes. ‘’Careful, babe. It’s hot.’’
You plated the pizzas and both settled down on the couch to watch a movie before your parents would return from their dinner date.
The crust was a little overcooked and the rom-com wasn't really good, but you preferred imperfect moments. It corresponds better to your relationship.
—
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cooking
melissa schemmenti
mention of sex
just a fic based on s2e4 where melissa invites janine in her house to learn cooking.
It came as a shock to you when Melissa invited Janine to your house after seeing her make pork rinds with peanut butter. You'd never thought your wife would invite one of her colleagues. "What time? I mean, can I come? I need you to help me with my wine pairings. Zach gets embarrassed when I ask the clerk for the second least expensive bottle." Jacob jumped up from his seat, Melissa was gathering her things to go back to class. "Well, I couldn't think of a reason why you can't quick enough, so yeah, I frickin' guess you can, buddy." The redhead slapped his shoulder, then turned around to pick up Janines peanut butter ramen to throw it away. "Get rid of that!" She walks out of the room. "Whoa!" Janine threw her hands in the air. "Here, have some of mine so you don't starve today." You offered her the other half of your grilled cheese.
Later that day, the doorbell rang at your shared house. "Will you get that, honey?" Melissa asked, grabbing a few wine glasses from the cabinet. You walked to the door, and there were standing Janine and Jacob. "Hey guys!" They stepped into the house. "Oh wow." They looked around the house. Janine went to look at the wall full of pictures. "This is, uhm... It's Melissa." Jacob chuckled. "Oh, it used to be worse. When I hadn't moved in yet, she had plastic over her couch." You told them. "But don't bring that up, though; it sits deep." Jacob held up a bottle of wine. "I brought this. I think it's called a 'blend' because they just mix all the best wines together." You led your colleagues to the kitchen, where Melissa was. "Well, hello to you too." Janine went to give your wife a hug. "Hey. Did you bring the onion?" Melissa quickly turned away to avoid giving the other teacher a hug.
"Yeah!" Janine went to look in her bag. "That's a shallot?" Melissa held up the grocery. "A what now?" The brunette asked. "A shallot. I said, get an onion." You walked to the fridge to get a bottle of wine. "Oh, Janine thought it was an onion that was adorable and small like her, and who am I to shatter that illusion?" Jacob cut in. "Wine?" You asked. "It seems more like I need vodka right now." Melissa was annoyed. "Ooh! Now I get to patronize a local vendor. Brb!" Jacob pulled on his coat to get an onion. "I swear to god, if you get a white onion!" Melissa yelled at him before he shut the door behind him.
"So, what are we making?" Janine asked, you handed her a glass of red wine. "Pesto pasta." You told her. "And I only like it when Melissa makes it." You walked up to her, placing the glass of wine on the kitchen counter in front of her. "She's my cooking princess." You smiled up at her, placing a kiss on her temple. "Yeah, Y/n isn't normally allowed in the kitchen when I'm cooking." Melissa wrapped her arm around your waist, pulling you close to her. "So, Janine, you can start by peeling this garlic." She handed her a cutting board and knife. "Just cut into very small pieces." Janine hummed. "So, what's my job tonight, babe?" You asked, squeezing Melissa's waist. "Just make sure the pasta doesn't overcook." She slipped away from your grip to continue her cooking. "Okay, boss." You hopped onto the counter next to the stove, sipping on your glass of wine.
Around 45 minutes later, the table was set. Some scented candles were burning around the house (Melissa's favorites, white musk and warm vanilla). and the onion Jacob went to get successfully made into the pesto sauce. Another bottle of wine had opened after dinner, with Melissa telling Janine she did well for her first cooked dinner.
"If you spill wine on the couch, I'll sue you." Melissa tells her coworkers, as they take a seat in the living room, you are sitting next to your wife. "So I also brought these cards to get to know each other more." Janine is excited. A sigh escaped the redhead's mouth, and you poked your elbow in her side. "Okay, Jacob!" Janine grabbed one of the cards. "If you could invent anything, what would it be?" Jacob crossed his legs, thinking. "A time machine. You know I love history, so I'd love to travel back in time." He explained. "Crab the next card, Jacob." Janine told him. "Y/n, what is your favorite thing about home?" He asked you. "Oh! Easy, Melissa, of course." You smiled at her, her hand creeped up your back, rubbing soothingly. "You're sweet." She placed a kiss on top of your head. "Ahw." You heard from Janine. "When Terique and I were together, he always told me I-" Melissa cut her off. "No one is making you tell these stories, you know?" You grabbed a card. "Right..." The other teacher sat back, sipping her wine. "Melis, what is a secret you never told anyone?" You asked. Melissa placed her wine on the coffee table, thinking. "A secret I haven't told anybody." She thought out loud.
Melissa turned to you. "You know my boyfriend before you?" She rubbed your arm. "Gary, the vending machine guy?" She nodded. "We were in a relationship, and we never had sex." She giggled. "Ever?" Jacob asked, his mouth agape. "Never," she confirmed. You lauguhed, feeling tipsy. "How did you keep that up for so long?" You asked. "And why didn't he, you know, how could he resit you?" You were confused as to how he could ever resist Melissa, in your eyes the most beautiful woman. "Well, maybe it was kind of me. Now I know I'm more into women."She wrapped her arms around you to keep you close.
A few hours had passed, and you were now sitting on Melissa's lap sideways, your arm wrapped around her neck as she held you around your waist. Janine and Jacob had left around 11. Melissa gave the leftover to Janine so she could eat it tomorrow at lunch. You had been making out but felt quite tired. You kissed down Melissa's neck, but your kisses were getting sloppier by the second. "Let's go to bed." You mumbled against her neck. You were now a little more than tipsy. "Alright, hon." Melissa pulled you up, holding hands as you made it up to your shared bedroom.
"I couldn't imagine never having sex with you." You slurred as you two lay in bed. Your head is lying on the redhead's chest. "I would have sex with you right now if I wasn't this tired." Melissa giggled at your words, slightly massaging your scalp. "Goodnight, honey."
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