#. . . gosh does anyone sense any common themes in any of these pairings

[suzukiblu]

It is still not Wednesday, but I'm fried from working on Ko-fi stuff all day and wanna write some kinky stuff to wind down, SO:

In this post, I'm gonna put up a list of various pairings that I currently have porny or kinky (or at least ABOUT to be porny or kinky) WIPs for.

Send me an ask with one of the listed pairings and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in a WIP that includes it in response.

( fair warning, some of these WIPs involve things like omegaverse or breeding/pregnancy or have either dubcon or the appearance of dubcon involved, but I'll tag for anything relevant. )

Multiple requests are fine, but I’d prefer if you sent them in separate asks. Just a little easier for me to fill them that way, and also easier for people to read through the WIP tag smoothly later.

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

Tim/Kon

Kon/Match

Tim/Cassie/Bart/Kon

Cassie/Kon

Clark/Kon

Tim/Bernard/Kon

Tim/Kon/Match

Jason/Match

and if you wanna live dangerously, [ SPOILER ]/Match

[ghoste-catte]

15, 17 and 19 for the meta ask

Thanks for the ask!!!

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Gosh, this is a tricky one. So, to start, I don't find tagging very difficult at all. I have some very basic principles that I think of when I tag:

1. Is the story about this thing? Does this tag encompass a genre, trope, or main theme?

2. Would someone searching for a story by this tag be satisfied with my fic showing in the results?

3. Is this a common trigger that is a major component of this work?

4. Does this tag give readers a sense of what's inside, even if it's not a 'canonical' tag (in the Ao3 sense of a searchable, indexable tag)?

1-3 are really just variations on a theme, and obviously anyone can tag any way they like, but that's how I think of tags. And I do give myself laterality to add one or two humorous tags if it fits the tone of the fic.

An example I've given before is: Hunting is a trigger for some people. If I've written a fic where a side character happens to go hunting and mentions it, or has hunting trophies on their wall, that doesn't warrant a tag, but I'll stick it in the warnings in the header note. If the fic is about hunting - the main characters are hunters, or they spend 5k words stalking a deer around the woods, then that warrants a tag.

Titles and summaries, on the other hand, are variable in their difficulty. Some titles walk right into my head before I've even written the fic, or the fic is inspired by some particular song or line of verse or whatever that makes a title simple to figure out. A lot of the rest of the time, though, I get to the end of writing the story and go "fuck, what the hell do I call this?" For fluff and humor fics, I often resort to googling "X jokes", where X is the main topic of the fic, and looking at the image search results since those tend to be pithy and easy to visually scan. So, like, for example, 'Chop it Like it's Hot' was a thanks-to-Google title (I googled "lumberjack puns"). I'm also not shy about crowdsourcing titles in the GaaLee Discord (shout out to Whazzername specifically for coming up with the titles for, like, a BUNCH of my fics).

Summaries are kind of similar: sometimes I know exactly which line or paragraph I want to pull or exactly how to sum the story up, and sometimes I have to agonizingly workshop it. It's much easier to write a summary for something plotty than it is for something more emotionally driven.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

The weirdest bit of feedback that I've often received about my persona is people finding me intimidating to start up a conversation with? Which feels crazy to me because in my mind I'm just a simple idiot wizard who spends way too much brainspace and man hours on writing a truly ridiculous amount of fic for a single niche pairing. Like, all I did was hop on this train and refuse to disembark. So I don't really know where that comes from or how to, like ... fix it. I don't necessarily want to be intimidating, and I feel sort of bad that people find me unapproachable. Like yes I'm abrasive and a shitty conversationalist but also I'm not scary!

As far as my fics ... no, I think people generally get out of my fics what I put into them. There's been one or two times where readers glommed on to a detail that I intended to be a bit throwaway and not especially salient, particularly in multi-chapter works where the irrelevance isn't clear until later, but those moments are fairly rare.

I think what people would find surprising about my writing is just how often I latch on to a stupid sort of flight of fancy conversational whim in Discord and spin it out into like 10k+ of fanfic. Prompts and other people's ideas are actually one of my favorite ways to drum up fic concepts! I'm not that of a creative person on my own, so it helps me to have someone else's skeleton to flesh out.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Ugh, yes! The bane of my existence is these little phrases I can't seem to stop repeating. I often re-read my own work and sometimes I'll come across a line and I'm like =_= "how is this already in here, I just used this in something I'm writing right this moment!" The one that's been stuck in my craw recently (and thank you so much to a reader who brought it to my attention!) is how much I talk about how small Gaara's hands are? I don't know why that's a fixation point--I think partially it's because I just can't stand to have a noun without an adjective attached--but it's something I'm trying to be more thoughtful about excising moving forward.

Trope-wise, I love an AU, especially sci-fi and fantasy AUs. They're some of my least popular fics, but they're usually the ones I have the most fun researching and writing for, and many of them number among what I consider to be my best works. I would go batshit if other people wrote GaaLee fic in those genres tbh.

[bigskydreaming]

So I’m writing a short story in my Changelings ‘verse for a galaxy brain commission that was simply “Boyd gets a boyfriend.” Nothing wrong there. But it does mean I feel like I finally gotta nail down the full intricacies of Boyd’s magic, which is unnecessarily....extra, due to the existence of the Curse of the Specialist Snowflake that afflicts me. 

Like, I couldn’t just give him one physical change and one magic like most other Changelings, nooooooo, he’s gotta be the Zodiac Kid and have twelve completely different changes and magics, one for each sign and he changes throughout the year in accordance to the changing of the signs. Why’d I do it that way? Cuz I gotta, obviously. Hahahaha, shut up, me.

I mean, there was a point to it originally, like, his sister Alicia’s Change and magic is that she’s surrounded by ghostly versions of a bunch of her alternate universe selves at any given moment, and she can communicate with them and call upon their skills and is sometimes called Sibyl around town, so like, the common thread/theme of her and Boyd’s magic is like, an infinity of self, but also, by “there was a point to it originally” I also just mean I couldn’t settle on and pick what I wanted Boyd’s magic to be so I was like here’s a fun thing I could do, make up a reason for him to have even MORE options.

.....I feel like, potentially, this self-created problem I’m having could have been avoided somehow, but gosh, fuck if I can see how.

So most of Boyd’s magic is hammered down....

In his Sagittarius phase, he’s physically a centaur whose lower half looks like a night sky studded through with starfields and moving constellations, and his magic from November 23rd to December 21st is uncanny intuition, a kind of off-the-top-of-his-head divination. He just instinctively knows the answers to questions when he’s in his Sagittarius phase, the more specific the question the more accurate his answer. He doesn’t have context, he doesn’t KNOW how he knows the things that he knows, he just knows them. 

You ask him if you’ll meet someone who could very plausibly be the love of your life within the next week, and if he says yes, its absolutely, one hundred percent true and accurate.....but if you ask him then how can I find them, he might say well first thing you gotta do is get out of my face and stop bugging me, and then walk down the street and turn left.....and that too, would be absolutely true and accurately point you in the direction that answers your question but like, that’s all he’s got and you’re missing a few steps at that point. So. Its not an exact science or anything. 

There’s definitely tricks to maximizing the intel you get out of him when he feels like being hit up for intel and doesn’t just string you along to be a total troll. Which he is. Hence why he also spends most of December filling in all of Alicia’s large stockpile of crosswords and sudokus, as he just instinctively and whimsically knows what to fill in even if he doesn’t actually have a clue WHY the Mesozoic Era is the answer to 49 Down. Alicia maintains this is cheating. He maintains he doesn’t care, and answers 64 across with “Johannesburg.” Fuck if he knows why.

In his Capricorn phase, he sublets his apartment in Bordertown and takes a month lease on a place underwater in Sub Francisco.....as for this period he’s more of a classical merman, but also if a classical merman has goat horns. But like, whose to say they don’t? Have you ever met one? Thought so. His magic during this period is horns of plenty.....he touches something to one of his horns, and comes away holding two of that item. So it basically only works on things that can be hand-held, but other than that it could be food, physical items, medicine, etc.

In his Aquarius phase, he’s physically the same as he was when a normal mainstream human....except that his skin has a faintly translucent quality as if that of water, with faint stars spiraling in distant patterns in the depths of his slightly watery form. He’s not invisible or actually translucent, like you can’t see through him or even see his organs or anything....rather, its more like most of the time he just looks like normal, human Boyd, albeit wearing a lot of glitter for some reason....but then he turns and catches the light just so, and for a moment you can see how the light is shining THROUGH him similar to the way it shines through the surface of a body of water. His magic in this phase is based on Ganymede, the cup-bearer of the gods.....water he touches becomes imbued with healing properties. 

Like, he unscrews an ordinary bottle of Evian and reaches in with the tip of his finger, and whammo, you’ve got a healing potion whose magic will last until the last of the water is gone, even if its not used until after his Aquarius phase. Once he’s imbued a source of water with his magic, its a healing potion from then on out, which makes his shop a useful place to find healing magic year-round.....or at least until he runs out. You come into his shop even in late July, if he’s still got some healing potions lying around they’re as good as ever....but if he’s already out of stock, you’re out of luck until next year’s Aquarius phase rolls around, and you gotta go look elsewhere on Mercy Row for a healer in the meanwhile.

In his Pisces phase, he goes back to his Sub Francisco apartment as his physical Change here is that of a centaur-triton....kinda the classic ithyocentaur, but also he’s got kinda webbed-like wings spanning from his back.....its a whole thing. But a good look. His magic in this phase is ‘the perfect pair’....he cups his hands and forms a magical, elemental construct in the shape of a koi fish that’ll swim off in the direction of the perfect complement to something or someone. Like a personal, magical compass guiding him or whomever he makes one for to like, the magnetic north that exists somewhere as the perfect counterpart to an already present south pole. Whatever, this makes no sense and is super confusing, I get that. But it makes perfect sense and is not confusing in my head. Still just working on translating from point Head to point Paper without the concept getting lost in the translation.

In his Aries phase, he’s his ‘normal’ mainstream-appearing base form....but also he’s got golden wings and ram horns. And his magic is that he breathes fire. But its magic fire, and it doesn’t burn things it touches, it turns them to gold. Its a whole Golden Fleece thing mixed with a King Midas thing.

In his Taurus phase.....idk yet. I mean, bull horns seems a pretty obvious go-to motif, but haven’t decided for his magic yet. Mostly because @sunwukxng is a Taurus and he takes things like this juuuuuuuust personal enough that I know if I don’t come up with something good here he’ll decide its a mortal insult towards all Tauri and thus him as well, and he’ll declare a blood feud against me that shall last five hundred years. And he’s already got like, six of those in progress, so....trying to avoid racking up anymore.

In his Gemini phase, he splits into two selves, his physical self and astral self, so he’s basically followed everywhere by both his shadow and a spirit version of himself he can astral project elsewhere. And when his astral self goes through something, kinda like how there’s that idea that when a ghost passes through someone they feel a chill or as if they almost left their body for a second.....his astral self can kinda like....yoink other peoples’ astral selves out of their physical forms temporarily. Yoink is of course the highly technical, scientific term for the phenomenon. Obviously.

In his Cancer phase.....idk yet. Look, its hard to be classy and deep concept-y about crabs, okay? I’m sorry Cancers, but even in the original myths about the constellation the gods were like yeah, this crab constellation was a mistake, we just felt bad about Artemis kicking that one all the way up into the heavens after it pinched Orion, the only himbo she ever almost made a boytoy out of. A lot of other Zodiacs featured animals that had the common perception of being viewed as pushing the sun across the sky, so there’s maybe something there in that direction....idk yet.

In his Leo phase, Boyd mostly appears as his ‘normal’ base mainstream-human looking self....except he’s big in a way that is not exactly Giant Big (and there are a good couple dozen giant-sized Changelings living in Bordertown, so like, he isn’t officially anywhere near that) but he is possessed of a height and size that are nevertheless best described as Ridiculous. Like he’s bigger than the Strange Angel, but not as big as Teddy the Sun-snake. That means nothing to anyone but me. Whatever. Moving on. Anyway, in his Leo phase he also has a fiery red mane kinda....that’s threaded through with silver stars in the Leo constellation shape. His magic in this phase is his ‘roar of command’....basically, he can imbue anything he says with the force of his will, and thus like.....make inanimate objects do what he tells them. He’s like “Open sesame” and a locked door is like you got it, boss.

In his Virgo phase.....I am not entirely sure what he looks like yet. I’m pretty sure its mostly his mainstream-looking ‘base self’ but like.....with an unnatural charisma, but also something a little less generic than that. Needs a specific hook still, beyond just “I’m ridick pretty.” Like, he’s Sinqua Walls. He’s always ridick pretty. Its a thing. But his magic in this phase is like.....an aura of inspiration. He just sorta puts out a vibe that inspires people around him in various ways that are unique to the individual. 

He’s also way shorter than he used to be even before his Change hit, or like, shorter than he is in any of his other phases. Like, we’re talking five and a half feet max. Is there any reason for this whatsoever beyond me being amused at the juxtaposition of him going from his Biggest and Most Ridiculous Phase immediately to his Smallest and Most Ridiculous Phase? No. No there is not. Fear the deep profundity of my creative process, for it is deep and it tis profound.

In his Libra phase....I’m not sure yet what his physical change is, but I do know his skin has a scaled texture, and I know those aren’t the scales normally associated with Libra but there’s a point to it, its just......missing some ingredients still to totally make sense. But he also tends to wear a blindfold a lot of the time during his Libra phase because I know his magic here has to do with viewing things in terms of overlapping possibilities and potentialities, like, he looks at things and sees not just the way they ARE but also a whole bunch of different ways they COULD be, and his magic enables him to kinda tweak things from the way they are more towards one of those other possibilities, in a sense that’s all about ‘balancing’ things.

However, the sensory stimuli of all those potentialities 24/7 is honestly overwhelming and gives him serious migraines, so he mostly tries to rest his eyes behind some kind of blindfold most of the time and just take it off to focus on specific things in order to utilize his magic, and only a little at a time. This is probably the most technically ‘powerful’ of his magics in terms of both versatility and scope, but it takes a toll and he really tries to pace himself during his Libra phase or it just gets to be too much, really fast.

And then lastly, in his Scorpio phase, he’s got a whole scorpion tail and barbed stingers along the outsides of his arms.....but rather than lean into the whole ‘eww Scorpios are duplicitous and manipulative’ and also ‘eww scorpions,’ his magic here calls back to how scorpions are actually protective guardians in a lot of mythologies and folklore, and there’s also plenty of Zodiac lore about the idea of the Scorpio sign being all about uncovering truths at any cost, etc. So his magic here is another ‘liquid/mutable’ type and takes the form of venom from his stingers that’s almost like drops of amber.....and that have various properties aimed at uncovering truths and exposing lies and falsehoods. Like, elixirs made during his Scorpio phase are another highly sought ware at his shop, because depending on the venom concentration he places in each, they have different properties. Like, he’s got vials where just a drop placed in your drink or on your food will reveal if its been drugged or poisoned, or vials of elixirs that basically act as magical truth serum.....and then other vials where like, you splash a little of it on something you suspect to be an illusion or a magical disguise of some kind, and it’ll dispel the false magic and reveal what’s truly there. 

“What happens if like, I splash it in the face of someone I think is wearing an illusion disguise and it turns out they’re not and that’s really just what they look like?” A customer asks.

Boyd shrugs. “Then they’ll just be wet. And probably a little pissed, I imagine. That’ll be $49.95 please.”

“I thought you said it was $29.95!”

“That was before the Asked Stupid Questions tax was applied,” Boyd smiles placidly. “Will that be cash or credit?”

 Okay. So. Typing that all out cleared up some of that for me but not quite as much as I was hoping as Cancer and Taurus apparently still persist in Vexing me.

Hmmmm.

[webwingalpha]

23, 77, and/or 162?

Okay! I love that all the ones I’ve gotten have requested multiples :’3

As per the last one, under a read more!

Gods though, #23 is Zaith! This is the one I was referring to earlier as being one of my favourites. I adore this boy oh my gosh.

Zaith’s true parents are unknown, for they both died not long after his egg hatched. Even after scouring years later for information on them, he never got much in the way on information about them or how/why they died, or if he had any siblings, even ones older than him. All he got was that the clan he was born in had gotten into a war of sorts with another clan, and that they were among the casualties due to the clan being nearly wiped out. He was one of the few lucky ones who was spared, along with the dragon who had grabbed him and another hatchling and fled (though really, he has never thought of himself as lucky. Not ever.). He also learned of their appearances, although vaguely. Dark-coloured Skydancers, much like himself.

His life was never really easy, not even when he was little. He always had problems, hardships, and for the most part, not many other dragons to be around. He had Cergha, who he considers his sister even though they’re not blood-related, who he grew up beside since they were adopted together, while he grew up, while they both had to deal with a nasty adoptive father. One who didn’t like them for one reason or another, though Cergha at least was suspicious that it may have been due to them not being blood-related to him, especially since the pair had no kids of their own; the mother wanted to adopt instead. There was also the fact he was a quiet, reclusive being, from a kid to current, which could have also been a factor. It definitely was when it came to bullies. He was bullied a lot, first mildly when younger, but it got worse as he grew into a teenager, where mocking words turned into pushes and shoves.

Cergha also suspects that their “father” also wasn’t fond of Light dragons, which makes that another likely factor.

He did eventually break free of the place, although not intentionally, and without Cergha at his side. It started as an accident that happened when he went outside to cool off from something that happened, to a series of unfortunate events that landed him in a very dark place that he wasn’t able to escape for years, trapped and not having anyone there for him. Alone and helpless. He has not given anyone many details on what he went through there; all that’s known is that he got involved with a group of assassins, and they didn’t treat him well at all, hence the scars that mar his body, most obvious being a jagged one across his face. They are the reason he dislikes being touched for the most part, they are the reason for the nightmares he gets fairly often, and they are the reason why he’s more skittish and reclusive than he was originally.

The nightmares that he gets, the ones caused by his experiences with the assassin group vary greatly. He can get ones so minor he barely remembers them the next day, and he can also get ones so bad that they make him fear sleeping the next night, in case he gets another. Thankfully, he hasn’t gotten two really bad ones in a row yet, and also thankfully, he doesn’t get nightmares every night, either. He does have nights of uninterrupted sleep, and he’s very thankful of those. Nights like that, he’ll sleep in more just to take advantage of the fact he got sleep without nightmares. He also has a small tendency to get insomnia, which worsens when he’s stressed. And it’s not hard to stress him out. He also hopes he doesn’t ever experience sleep paralysis. In fact, he’s scared of it eventually happening to him.

One of the most common themes in his nightmares is him losing his weapons, a pair of long, serrated daggers, due to how much he relies on them and the fact he doesn’t feel safe without them. He usually has them with him at all times, except when he’s bathing and sleeping. But even then, they’re still near.

He’s not physically strong, and due to that, he was taught a way of fighting by the assassin group that doesn’t rely on physical strength. Basically, he knows how to make his hits count, and where his hits would be more effective. He hits where it hurts the most. This was probably the one good thing that came from him having to be there for years.

He’s also ashamed and unhappy with the scars that cover his body, which is why he has a tendency to cover himself up almost completely. He doesn’t like showing them, especially certain ones, and they’re kept under clothing and black wraps. He hates that he can’t cover the one on his face especially. All this also means that if he willingly shows any of his scars to anyone, it means he really does trust them a lot, since it’s not something he does lightly. He doesn’t trust easily though.

He has always been quiet, even when he was very young, with a tendency to hardly express emotion. Any emotion, unless there’s a situation that gets him to express more, is hardly shown on his face and gestures, including his crest. He shows emotion subtly, just barely enough sometimes to show what emotion he’s feeling. This combined with the fact that even other Skydancers have difficulty detecting emotions from him, this often makes him hard to read as a whole. It’s currently unknown why he’s even difficult for other Skydancers, but it’s been confirmed by Cergha that he doesn’t take anything to help hide that, since he was like that since he was little; she grew up with him after all. On the other end, his own Skydancer gem is more sensitive than average, making it so he can pick up on others’ emotions and all very easily, though sometimes he wishes he could dull it or make it so he can’t sense for a while. It’s not hard to get to him or overwhelm him due to it.

His subdued demeanor also likely is a factor of why no one, other than Cergha when they were younger, has seen him smile. Even when he’s obviously amused he just doesn’t smile; not even a fake one ever crosses his lips. His mate Ormat has tried multiple times to get him to smile, but so far, the attempts have been unsuccessful.

Honestly though, he had never expected to end up finding a mate in the end. Not just because he was not actively looking, but also due to the fact that he never thought he would be worthy of someone’s attention in that way. But somehow, thanks to unexpected interactions, he and Ormat ended up as a pair, and he can’t imagine life without the younger dragon. Ormat overall has helped him a lot, and Zaith’s very glad that Ormat doesn’t mind that he’s a bit… clingy, just like he often is with Cergha as well. He still doesn’t know what he did to deserve Ormat.

#77 is Maria!

So. She’s a scientist, who mostly dabbles in things like alchemy and chemistry. The weirder it is, the better, for she has an affinity for weird science as a whole. This would involve things like mutations and things out of the ordinary, the weirder, the better. She’s hugely fascinated with weird things, and will go out of her way in order to get a hold of strange things she can study and research. She won’t do anything drastic or harmful to get a hold of something; she hasn’t been that desperate so far.

Part of this is likely because even though she was born in the Shifting Expanse, she was put up for adoption and taken in by a pair who moved to the Starfall Isles. Needless to say, she was outright fascinated by some of the things there. It might have also helped influence the obvious curiosity she has overall.

She’s very reclusive, not really into interacting with others or even really being around with others, so she tends to keep herself locked up by herself in her home, often doing research and work. Though, her science expertise has been needed by others before, so sometimes, unfortunately, interaction is necessary. As a whole she’s quite and doesn’t talk much unless needed, or if she’s explaining something, and if it’s the latter, she can come off as long winded sometimes. She does try to make sure not to use too many obscure terms or words so others can understand what she’s talking about more easily.

She also tends to come off as creepy, there’s just something about her appearance that does that, that makes it so many don’t want to interact for her for long if at all, anyways. There’s just something about her… perhaps it’s due to the white skeletal markings on her dark skin, or the way she can come off as a bit shifty (she often cannot look others in the eye, even when she has nothing to hide), or even the fact she has been occasionally seen carrying around something strange. Her personality tends to give others a surprise, because it’s only her looks and her passion that makes her seem creepy; she’s more focused, quiet, and more of a bookworm, otherwise. She can even come off as a little awkward at times, due to her not being good at interacting.

She has absolutely no interest in romance of any kind, or anything even further. It’s not something that she wants to really deal with or anything, and it’s unlikely that she’ll ever feel that deeply about anyone. She’s fine with her small handful of friends.

She really does like animals though, and keeps a few around, including a pair of ferrets, a kitten, and of course, her familiars. Unbeknownst to most, she also has a unique ability when it comes to animals; she can talk with them inside their heads.

She also never seems to really sleep, at least, no one has seen her sleep or seen her tired. The truth is that she has a widely varying schedule and she doesn’t actually sleep much at all, for she is actually a caffeine addict. She often has something with caffeine in it near her, in fact, no one has seen her without any. From certain teas to coffee, if it has caffeine, it’s something she really enjoys. She’s tried going without caffeine for long periods of time before, but the backlash she had received from doing that was enough to make her stop trying to be so reliant on it after a couple tries. It’s unknown if it affects her sleep badly, but seeing that she rarely ever has dark circles under her eyes, it’s likely not.

#162 is Etarr!

This is a dude I don’t have much on quite yet so lemme see..

He works at one of the taverns in Iron-Forged, the Golden Sword. It’s one of the biggest and most prosperous of the taverns residing there. The location of it, since it’s somewhat close to the main gates, is a good factor in its popularity, along with the fact that, yes, a lot of the things they serve are very loved and enjoyed.

He’s one of the ones who helps make sure everything’s stocked up right, even if that’s not his main job, along with making/mixing the drinks. He even has some of his very own recipes that he enjoys serving, that are unique to the Golden Sword and cannot be found elsewhere. He adores the reactions he gets to some of them, especially the strong ones or the ones that seem to be hot and spicy in a way. His specialty overall though, are ales. He loves brewing up different types of ales for others to try.

He also has a love for specifically, apple flavoured things. Both in creating and consuming them. His favourite fruit.

He’s also been there since the beginning of the creation of the tavern. He may have been involved in it, but it’s not known for certain.

The swords, cloth, and jewelry accent there on his dragon are all tattoo’ing, magically done so no amount of shedding or molting can ruin it.

He has a tendency to appear stoic and serious to most individuals, but when you get closer to him, or catch him at the right times, you’ll be able to see that he’s not as serious as he appears to be; he definitely has a sense of humor and he doesn’t mind poking at and teasing others. One of his targets is his good friend Alden, an androgynous Coatl male who also works at the tavern as a server of drinks. Etarr is one of the few who can tease him and play around with him about certain things and not get something thrown at him. Even then though, he doesn’t push his luck with the younger dragon; he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything. He does apologize rather quickly if he feels he might have crossed a line.

Once he’s loosened up and knows someone well enough, he can be quite the talkative fellow. He also has no problem gossiping, though that’s another place where he tries not to cross any lies. Doesn’t want to spread anything harmful, after all!

Has been asked if he has used his Capsule liquid in his drinks before, and his answer is always along the lines of “No, it’s impossible.”. Some just likely don’t get that the Capsule liquid cannot be extracted just like that. He enjoys a good joke, but after a while, comments like that get just a little old.

Can also seriously hold his liquor; it’s very hard to get him actually drunk, and hardly anyone has seen him that way. Also, he drinks less than some would expect. He enjoys alcohol every now and then, as opposed to often.

Unbeknownst to most, he’s also immune/resistant to most poisons. As to why? That’s not known at all, except maybe himself.

[saranel]

My question is not entirely bleach related. So don't know if you'll answer. Well..which pairing of the novel, 'pride and Prejudice' do you like out of the main 4 pairings? If so, do you find similarities between those pairings and bleach ones?

Ooohhhh gosh, it’s been over a decade since I read the book, anon, so you’ll have to forgive me if my memory of events is somewhat skewed by the movie/TV adaptations (what do you mean Darcy doesn’t take a dip in the lake at Pemberley? IS THIS NOT CANON???).  I’mma tag my pal and Pride and Prejudice expert @kisukke to correct me if there’s anything I got wrong. 

First off, I’m not sure which four pairs you’re referring to?  Elizabeth and Darcy, Jane and Bingley are the obvious ones, but aside from those two pairs, I don’t know which other two I’d classify as ‘main.’  There’s Charlotte and Mr. Collins, Lydia and Wickham and then maybe the Gardiners and the Bennets themselves? Oh and Louisa and Mr. Hurst, I guess.  Unless of course you’re talking about potential pairs like Elizabeth & Collins andElizabeth & Wickham xD   

At any rate, with the exception of Elizabeth and Masaki, I can’t really say I find many similarities on a character level.  Maybe Ryūken and his mom with Darcy and Lady Catherine, but not a perfect comparison as in this case Ryūken and Masaki aren’t meant to end up together.  Still, the spirit of the novel, i.e. marrying for the right reasons, does apply greatly to many of the past canon and some of the implied pairs. 

(more under the cut)

Because this is basically one of the main themes of Pride and Prejudice, isn’t it?  To showcase the difference between the relationships built on love and respect, and the forced ones that resulted from impulse/convenience/social pressure etc.  Which, of course, isn’t such a common issue with modern marriages (at least not in the same way; marrying for the wrong reasons is still very much a thing), but was a revolutionary concept for Austen’s time, when women didn’t have much of a choice.  Take Charlotte, for example, whose marriage we do get to see in action, but we cannot really fault her for following the status quo of the time.  

Elizabeth took a great gamble when refusing to marry Mr. Collins, and we see how her mother uses the family’s future to pressure her into accepting, but as the heroine, it makes sense that she’s the one who rebels against this system and ends up not only marrying a man she loves, but also affecting the circumstances so Jane would also marry for love.  In that sense, Masaki has the same role in the EBTR story; by making her own choice and refusing to marry Ryūken, whether knowingly or not, she grants him the freedom to marry the one he loves as well. 

There are three more couples I can think of that fit a similar motif, though they don’t make for quite the same parallel. There’s Byakuya, of course, who bucks tradition and marries Hisana.  There’s Renji, who buries his feelings when Rukia becomes nobility so as not to stand in her way, and though this is mostly a headcanon, anyone who reads my blog consistently knows that I believe this is more or less what happened with Kisuke and Yoruichi.  Most signs point to him being either a commoner or a noble of far lower clout, so whether they carried a romance in secret for years or got together shortly before/after their exile, Yoruichi makes a clear choice in abandoning all titles and luxuries (not to mention friends and family) to be with him.  Whether you read that as platonic or romantic, the end result is the same: Yoruichi went against tradition and the status quo when it posed a serious detriment to her own happiness.  

The big difference between Bleach and P&P is that we don’t see any unhappy marriages in action, like the Bennets or Charlotte and Mr. Collins, to create the juxtaposition.  

Some people may make a case for Ryūken and Katagiri ending up together out of convenience, but I think their relationship has been greatly misinterpreted.  For one thing, when Isshin tells Ichigo that Ryūken let Masaki go post-graduation as a way to make a clean break from his own feelings, I’m not really buying it? I do believe Ryūken had some feelings for her, but they were mostly born out of an effort to make the best of a situation he wasn’t happy with but felt he had to endure.  

Masaki was a lovely girl, so I can’t really fault him for trying to make it work; as a member of a slowly dying ‘race,’ Ryūken carried the immense burden of being the head of a prominent, pureblooded clan that was expected to further the line.  But even before Masaki gets infected by the Hollow, we see how Ryūken’s stiffer disposition changes when he addresses Katagiri.  He regards Masaki with a touch of wariness, as though he’s not quite sure what to make of her and trying to picture himself married to her, but with Katagiri, he’s different, and she in turn is clearly very taken with him:        

One of the things Ryūken and Katagiri also have going for them is the Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, which Kubo is undeniably a fan of (confirmed for Rukia & Renji, Gin & Rangiku, plus heavily hinted for both Tōshirō & Momo and Kisuke & Yoruichi). Ryūken and Katagiri may not qualify as friends, strictly speaking, but the scene where we first hear of this, when Katagiri opens up her heart to Ryūken, frames their first meeting in a romantic light:

8Ryuuken: You can go home and tell my mother… // …that her son… / …has no right to protect the way of the Quincy.Katagiri: I will not.Ryuuken: …I said go home.Katagiri: I will not. / I cannot leave you on your own, young master.Ryuuken: Katagiri………!Katagiri: Ryuuken-sama. // Have you forgotten? / It is my sworn duty to dedicate my entire life… // …to serving you.9Katagiri: From the day we first set eyes on one another… // …my life has belonged to you. // So, please… // Please… // …do not be sad. // If you feel sorrow, Ryuuken-sama… // …my heart will be torn apart. // If you shed tears -Ryuuken: Katagiri.

That’s some seriously romantic dialogue right there, plus it has the added cultural element of them sharing an umbrella for the return trip home, a very romantic gesture in Japan.

Ryūken and Katagiri most certainly don’t qualify as a forced pairing, but they do reinforce the notion that marriage should have its basis in love and respect to work.  Ryūken may have cared deeply about Masaki (mostly platonically, with perhaps a hint of romance), but forcing a marriage between them when he loved Katagiri and she in turn had just fallen in love with Isshin, would’ve made them all four of them miserable. 

So in case it wasn’t already obvious, anon, I’m a big fan of pairings that go against tradition in order to be together xD I did very much enjoy the build-up with Elizabeth and Darcy’s relationship, especially as it was slowly revealed that he wasn’t the asshat both she and the audience originally assumed he was (I love that an early draft of the novel was called ‘First Impressions’ lmao).  Or rather, that he had a good heart, but had to learn to see beyond the surface, which over the course of the novel, he does.  

Jane and Bingley were also pretty damn cute, but Elizabeth and Darcy, with their faults and their prickliness, are far more relatable than the always cheerful and friendly Jane and Bingley.  The two are obviously very well-suited for each other, they’re just the Golden Retriever to Elizabeth and Darcy’s Grumpy Cat.  And I’ve always been a fan of cats.  

Wickham can go eat a bag of dicks. 

[dreamscript]

2016 Fic Summary/Meme

End of the year fic meme for 2016!

Total word count written: 

229,736 words (~760 pages)

breakdown:

on here: 200,246 words (~688 pages)

on @inkseong: 6,060 words (~17 pages)

on @lucidscribbles: 1,621 words (~3 pages)

unpublished (in my drafts): 21,809 words (~52 pages)

Total word count published: 

207,927 words (~708 pages)

Longest posted fic:

series: The Fires Within , 31k+ and counting

oneshot: Race of Truth  , 12k, lmFAO

Longest wip:

6.1k+ The Normalcy of Thieves chapter 1 lol

Fandoms written: 

BTS, EXO, KNK, MONSTA-X, MAMAMOO (unpub), original fiction

General questions:

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or what you predicted?

to be honest like sure, 300 or so pages was like wow okay that’s great i would love to write that in one year!

but then instead i go ahead and write 760+ pages waht the fuCK--

so, um, yeah, i was predicting less, a lot less.

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

smut. smut. smut. holy shit, listen, smut literally makes me scream and cry whenever i attempt to write it, and i’m pretty sure the me from like a year ago would attempt but fail, horribly.

((that’s the me rn tbh lmfao))

3. What’s your own favourite story of the year?

well tbh i answered this kind of in this ask, but if it really came down to it... god, this is hard...

I really did like the concepts behind the talks, is all i can say.

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

smut, writing about various other touchy subjects (/coughs/ drug use, death, all that stuff). um, oh gosh. what did i learn?

that i absolutely love describing the morbidity of the dark subjects

((albeit pretentiously at times))

5. Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

...................loooooooool finish my requests, of course!

or at least get my current to be done list cleared out :’)

From my past year of writing…

My best story of this year:

Stories 

best?? Like the one that turned out to be the best? God, that’s hard. Let’s just say that for now.

My most popular story of this year:

Accelerate (M)

for reasons that.. well, I can understand ;)

(if ur looking for a non-smut fic, i have no idea which is the most popular. i’ve written way too much, fuck me in the ass)

Most fun story to write:

Race of Truth

for obvious reasons ;)))))))) crackfics are great in that you don’t have to really worry about things making sense, you just kinda get to go along with the flow

Story with the single sexiest moment:

this drabble 

.....I would answer with a scenario except I don’t even read my own smuts and I don’t know if I want to so I’ll just say this instead. It’s PG-13, yall.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

this.

me @ me lmfao gurl y

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

execute ?

hahhhhhhhh hm. idk, i typically write hoseok as some sunshiney figure and in execute he’s like a badass spy guy and i didn’t really bring out his sunshine personality as much.

Hardest story to write:

Seal

oh my god. Fake dating fics are so hard to write, wow. i think it also has to do in part that I don’t really read that trope.

Biggest surprise:

Fascination, because LOL WH At 

Most unintentionally telling story:

Stories 

Unintentionally? Well, um. Unintentionally telling story.... that’s also a hard question. The ones I can think of I intentionally incorp’d real life events inside because they were funny.

I have no idea, but i’ll just say this because I find it the most relatable as an author (and that was kind of my intention, lol. rip.)

Favourite opening lines:

“It begins with a train: clunky and steaming, weaving through the mountains, headed straight for the heartlands. Then–

A boulder.

Jagged, colossal, tumbling from the mountain peak. Fast. Ripping trees from roots, crushing the central car of the train. The train tips over, its weight lurching dangerously near the cliff, engine still running and wheels turning uselessly. Suspended in air.” 

--The Talks

“You realize a few things when you wake up, head pounding.  

1. This isn’t your room. Or any room that you recognize, for that matter. Where the fuck are you?

2. You’re really really hungry. An all-you-can-eat-buffet sounds fantastic. So does a giant cookie with a pint of ice cream dumped over it—what was it called again? A pizookie, right.”

--Realize

“‘I need help,’ you say with a groan, flopping onto the end of Yoongi’s sofa.

‘You need all kinds of help,’ he responds, not even bothering to look up from his phone. You make a whining noise, reaching over to weakly slap his thigh.”

--Attempt

Favourite closing lines: yeah not choosing one of my one-liner endings LOL

“Such a dull, ugly story you both have lived, but it does shares a commonality with even the greatest epics and legends of time–

You inhale, deep.

‘All stories end.’”

--Hunt

Favourite lines from anywhere:

“’So what’s death to you, then?’

His lips curl into a dark grin. ‘Death? Death is the ultimate party: everyone is invited, and everyone attends.’”

--The Talks

“He wonders where those dreams went, what happened to the bright eyed kid, jumpy with eagerness, itching to explore the world.

Who threw those dreams down the drain?

A twisting knot in Jimin’s stomach tightens; he feels as if he already knows the answer to that question. He shies away, hiding behind blind arrogance.

(He realizes that he may have forgotten something much more important than his textbooks and homework in the classroom.)”

--Lost

Scenes from anywhere you would have choose to have illustrated:

The beginning of Burn

The duel scene in Back

The entire Timebreaker!Hoseok drabble

New year’s resolutions...

start posting on ao3, finish my wip (hopefully), get shit done

fix my theme

be more active

make new friends

read n be happy ;)

tagged by @fanficsandnochill

it’s a bit late now but if anyone’s reading this... please do it. and tag me so i can read it

((literally like this is so great i love this thank you jaycee)

[sharkbitespeaks]

Wordsmiths, Miracles, and Monsters: An Informal Comparison | REVIEW

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people, mostly on Twitter, about the reception of certain Netflix original series, especially with the release of the Stranger Things season 2 trailer. In light of that, I’d like to make my own comparisons of the content of the three Netflix originals I’ve finished watching: The Get Down, The OA, and one I’ve already talked about on this blog, Stranger Things. Spoilers ahead!

I’m going to do something that’s a little unconventional for this blog, which is to give numerical ratings for things! I have a lot of thoughts, so if you’re just curious as to my personal ratings of them, I’m putting a tl;dr at the end of each section!

I do want to preface this by saying that there isn’t really much in common with these shows other than they are all Netflix originals--they’re all completely different in their own ways, so I understand why some people prefer one over the other. But also, maybe think about why you’re not watching a series that has people of color and LGBTQ characters. Always examine your own thinking!

Plot Originality

Two of these shows fall into a similar genre with both positive and negative comparisons: Stranger Things and The OA. Both contain supernatural elements, a gang of outcasts, as well as a protagonist who transcends planes in a watery tank. 

Yeah, that one threw me too.

While I did watch Stranger Things prior to The OA, the comparisons that can be made between them differ strongly in the actual function they serve during the course of the story. It’s true--the dimensional crossing being a central focus of both of their plots makes me dock points for the both of them. But I think their themes ultimately differ and that perhaps is what makes the difference.

Continuing with the idea of plot originality, I would more closely compare The Get Down and The OA in terms of taking a more unconventional plot structure. While Stranger Things certainly has its merits in replicating the nostalgia of an 80′s movie, both The Get Down and The OA strike out in search of...well, stranger things. The Get Down does a beautiful job of creating a microcosm of Zeke’s story as a reflection of the political and artistic changes occurring in the hip hop era. The OA tries (and sometimes falters) in linking together an impossible escape with the lives of a misfit group. Stranger Things treads a well-known path, though does a good job of revamping some of the older tropes of the thrillers of the age it looks to replicate.

The Get Down: 5/5. Tackles a storyline I’ve personally never seen and isn’t covered by any other Netflix original, let alone regular television.

The OA: 3/5. Has a fascinating storyline that’s a little clunky, but unfortunately comes a little too close to Stranger Things. 

Stranger Things: 1/5. It really does rely on nostalgia.

Visuals

The point of television is right in the name, so we may as well get down to it. The OA has some beautiful framing of shots, but I feel that it gets really clunky, especially with action scenes. The eyetrace isn’t great and the CGI, while trying to be subtle, feels almost as in your face as the Star Wars Blu-Ray releases. Yes, pop culture references. I can do those too. Anyways, when it doesn’t rely on effects, there are some poignant moments done with framing--one that comes to mind is Buck’s scene in front of the mirror. He pulls the pictures that cover his mirror off gently and we see him briefly turn to the side and adjust his shirt. We don’t need anyone to walk in on Buck changing or Buck announcing that he’s trans--it’s just a moment that feels personal and real, especially to any trans viewers. Another moment is the movements scene between Homer and OA, which cuts back and forth really beautifully. The close up visual moments feel much stronger than any of the environmental shots, which often lack color and focus.

Stranger Things has much better eyetrace in their action scenes, which leads to better building of tension. The colors are also much more vibrant, especially in night time scenes, which I found surprising. However, the reliance on deep blues and deep reds is a cinematic trend I sort of hope they decide to vary. Tertiary colors, anyone? In this same vein, Stranger Things also relies strongly on high contrast, which makes for some really pleasing scenes. Every time Eleven goes to the Upside Down, the image of a small girl against an absolutely black background is a gripping one. While some scenes get a little muddy, I think the colors are actually great overall. Like The OA though, the CGI leaves something to be desired. I usually use Giger-esque as a compliment, but I feel that the monster had a little too much in common with it visually, but not enough with the tension. It follows the convention of “no eyes, bipedal = scary”, but doesn’t evoke any fear beyond the jumpscare to me. Also, unlike the iconic look of Giger’s aliens there’s no slick black carapace or organic-yet-robotic feel--it’s just some muddy guy with weird teeth. I get it dude, you just hatched. Please go take a shower.

The Get Down is gorgeous. Is my favoritism showing? People criticize Luhrmann’s extravagance in film making, but I kind of dig it. Tangent: So many people really hated The Great Gatsby but I think the look of it was perfect. That unreal decadence.

The music was...fine. No. Really. It’s fine.

Back to the point at hand, Luhrmann pushes the envelope with the colors, using those tertiaries that I love so much. It’s only fitting for a series that’s as much about art as it is about the social change--and who could really say that those two could ever be separated? Feeling like a documentary and a music video mashed together, each shot feels like it holds significance. Grandmaster Flash holding the crayon, the birds circling the air intercut with the record spinning, and every scene with Cadillac--along with being gorgeous, you know exactly what each one is shorthand for, even the less obvious ones. Paired alongside this world that feels nigh impossible, the CGI is tasteful and understated. Some of it still feels a little weird--I’m not digging the maps--but recreating New York as it was, but bigger feels like a task appropriate for CGI. I do have to criticize their smoke effects though. Those were really bad for some reason in comparison to all the other effects. The cinematic nature of the shots more than makes up for a little weird haze.

The Get Down: 5/5. Colorful, well-framed, and deliberate.

The OA: 3/5. Cut 50/50 between great shots and...not so great shots. Intention in focus saves it a point I would have docked.

Stranger Things: 4/5. Caters to its intended aesthetic, loses a point for ugly monster design.

Character Development

I could spend forever talking about character development in anything, but in the interest of length, I’m paring it down.

The Get Down floors me with how much it made me care for its characters in so little time. Zeke’s character arc is obviously the driving point, so he does get a poignant monologue where he lays out much of his backstory--but even without that, Zeke’s struggle with his emotional poignancy and his coming of age is evident in each scene. Even characters with relatively little screentime have at least one moment that encapsulates their struggles with their personal and public selves. To me, no arc feels forced (despite what some people might say about Dizzee's) and every character felt real within the first episode. The Get Down is so much about change and the development throughout the six episode season organically introduces these in their characters.

The OA also focuses strongly on their character development, which I feel is one of the stronger points of the show--but only for one side of the story. I care about Homer, but in the easiest sense. He’s a romantic interest and he has a baby, he’s sweet and sensitive. It’s kind of a no-brainer. What interests me more is the transformation of opinions on characters that I personally hated at first. I expected to dislike Steve for the entire series, and while I still have mixed feelings, I felt his character arc was transformative in a way that had me rooting for him more than I thought I would. Some characters, like Jesse and OA’s mother, had arcs I wish had been developed further, with touching scenes between the main ones that I thought were some of the strongest of the show. However, character motivation felt consistent and strong throughout the entire season.

Stranger Things sort of lets me down on this one with its adherence to 80′s movies--which means, let’s face it, very little character development. The kids gain your sympathy by being kids; their exchanges, such as the “you don’t have to have just one best friend” are my favorites of the series. However, some of the changes felt rushed--especially Lucas’s, which I felt needed much more screen time. Anyone over the age of 14 was, and I’m not exaggerating, nearly unbearable for me to watch in terms of character development. Grizzled sheriff who lost his daughter? Sad, but it’s been done. Struggling single mother with two sons? Same. Son of that struggling single mother who’s socially awkward and hides behind a camera? Gosh, I can’t imagine where I’ve seen that one before. I really could care less about the intrigue of these teenagers and adults! Please for the love of God, give me some more screentime with the characters I actually like.

The Get Down: Solid 5/5. Yes, I love The Get Down a lot and the character development is spot on, if not a little cliched at times.

The OA: 3/5 again. Felt a little disjointed where I wanted more character development for characters that I just didn’t get to see enough.

Stranger Things: 2/5. I’m being particularly harsh with the fan favorite, but having two entire subplots I didn’t care about was just exhausting. Added point for the best friend conversation.

To take a quick break before I get into the final comparison, here are some other short things about the series that I wanted to rate.

Accuracy

The Get Down: 4/5. Takes a lot of liberties, which is mostly fine, has some anachronistic slang--notably usage of the n-slur when “brother” would have been more common. (I’ll try to find the source on that.)

The OA: 5/5. Spoiler, OA pulls from several books to tell her backstory and The Oligarchs is a good read. Plus, does a pretty decent job with the trans and POC experience, if not a little reductive. Almost docked a point for Steve’s awful computer, but decided against it.

Stranger Things: 5/5. Like I said, it does a good job matching its intended aesthetic.

Social Awareness

The Get Down: 4/5. Excellent job regarding relationships between POC and culture--nerd culture, religion, expectations of immigrants. Also portrays the gay scene at the time as being primarily POC as well, which I can appreciate. Docked a point for anachronistic slang (n-slur and r-slur).

The OA: 4/5. Surprisingly sensitive about being trans, especially considering that even the most assholeish of the bunch, Steve, calls Buck by his name and immediately does the same for OA when she corrects him. Tackles disability issues. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, it gets a little too close to stereotyping with the “tiger parent” for an Asian family and the drug problems for a high-achieving POC, who I think is meant to be Latinx.

Stranger Things: 1/5. It’s quite bad, unfortunately staying true to that 80′s vibe. Uses qu**r as an insult where there are no LGBTQ characters to be seen. Normalizes the creepy behavior from Jonathan (and I say that with him as one of my favorites of my least favorite part of the show). I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about the “pretty?” line feels off for a girl who shouldn’t have to feel that way to feel like she’s worth something, let alone should even know about that concept if she was as isolated as the show suggests.

Sensitive Imagery (this is, for lack of a better description, sort of like a family friendliness rating)

The Get Down: 1/5. All things considered, this is pretty intense, which isn’t a bad thing. But between the abuse, drugs, sex, brutality, killings, racism, and homophobia...it’s not something that’s gonna be easy on the emotions.

The OA: 3/5. Not as many counts as The Get Down but there’s a lot of graphic deaths onscreen and a couple sex scenes, as well as drug usage.

Stranger Things: 3/5. The only thing I personally felt sort of jarred by was “Will”’s body. Other than that, there’s not a lot of really emotional rollercoasters happening--some nudity, but that’s...pretty much it.

Coherency

The Get Down: 4/5. Fairly coherent, but I’m docking a point for the first episode which jumps around way too much.

The OA: 1/5. Listen. The ending was just so out of left field. I’m sure it’s deep and introspective for some people but it really left a lot to be desired for me personally.

Stranger Things: 5/5. Wraps up and ends the season well, does a classic cliffhanger.

And lastly, a note which I figured I should end on, but doesn’t really have a rating I can assign to it:

Should It Have a Second Season?

The Get Down: GOD YES where are the announcements for it!!! What happens to Mylene? Papa Fuerte? The Kipling Family? Shao? Zeke? I’m dying, Netflix, please give me the second season.

The OA: Sure. I think it would clear up a lot of points if it’s done right, but I’m a little confused as to where they would go from there. I don’t know where I would go from there.

Stranger Things: Obviously a trailer dropped for it recently, so pretty much everyone thinks it does, but I actually think that Season 1 wrapped up pretty nicely. Monster movies tend to end on cliffhangers, but I am pretty intrigued as to how they’re gonna wrap up the second season, what with how many questions they already answered for this first one. I’m sort of at a 25/75 split here.

FINAL RATINGS

The Get Down: 28/35

The OA: 22/35

Stranger Things: 20/35

[superdecade]

Apps for Flat-Earthers

Some facts:

the Earth is an oblate spheroid;

the Earth and Moon orbit the Sun, which is a star approximately 150 million km away;

gravity holds water, people and animals as well as politicians and accountants to the surface of the planet. It is this force that is also responsible for the orbits of the planets.

If the Earth was flat, then cats would have pushed everything off the edge by now.

Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth in the third century BCE. Later mathematicians then calculated the circumference of Eratosthenes' forehead with remarkable accuracy.

The Earth has been known to be a globe ever since the ancient Greeks noticed that the shadow of the Earth was circular in shape during a lunar eclipse (the only object that can cast consistent circular shadows is a sphere). Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth with surprising accuracy by comparing the lengths of shadows at different places on the Earth. Space agencies from around the globe have been to space and taken photographs of Earth - and, spoiler alert - the globe is spherical. There are experiments that you can perform yourself. Go to the beach and watch ships sail over your horizon. You will notice that the ships disappear from the bottom up as they sail over the curve (and no, a pair of binoculars will not bring the ship back into view). Watch a sunset from a low vantage point, such as your vacation beach hut, then quickly run up a convenient hill and you will notice that you get another sunset as your higher vantage point allows you to see further around the curve of your horizon. If you ever travel to a country in the opposite hemisphere, apart from the fact that your flight plan will have been calculated to be very close to a great circle on the ball Earth, but there will be some phenomena that cannot be explained on a flat earth, for example, you will see a different hemisphere of stars to your view back home. The sun and moon will appear to traverse the sky in the opposite direction (actually, they still move East to West, but their position in the North or South of the sky will make it look as though they are moving counter to your expectation). This was the first thing that I noticed when I travelled to New Zealand, arriving at night I saw the moon travelling from the East into the Northern sky and then I noticed the large and small Magellanic Clouds which are impossible to see from the Northern Hemisphere. There are two models for understanding the solar system. One of these models, the helio-centric, globe earth model manages to explain all phenomena that we observe and can be used to make accurate predictions about both celestial events and the motion of objects on or near the surface of the planet. The other model - the so-called Flat Earth - is not really a model at all as it makes for a poor representation of reality, explains very little of observable phenomena and can make almost no predictions. In fact, Flat Earth proponents cannot even agree on what the model should be although the common themes are a flat (sometimes infinite) plane, with the moon and sun as smaller than scientists think rotating several thousand miles above the surface of the plane. The stars are unknown points of light stuck to a glass dome, and there is an 'ice wall' preventing the oceans from falling off. Even the best Flat Earth explorers have failed to successfully photograph the ice wall or the dome. Flat Earth astronomers do not seem to care that their models do not successfully represent the reality of the southern celestial hemisphere. Followers of the Flat Earth need to reject almost all of Newton's Laws of motion in order for their model to make even a partial sliver of sense. Neil deGrasse Tyson has blamed the conspiracy theory’s rise on “free speech” and a “failed educational system” which does not promote critical thinking. Gravitational effects are explained as simply 'density' and 'buoyancy', although, in fact, buoyancy is an epiphenomenon of gravity, Flat Earth scientists ignore this whilst simultaneously sticking fingers in their ears and saying 'La La La' very loudly. The existence of satellites and even outer space itself is rejected completely by Flat Earth proponents. The daily motion of the sun and sky is explained away as simply a trick of 'perspective'. I could go on. I haven't even mentioned the observation by all Flat Earth astronomers that the surface of a body of water looks flat, or that they cannot feel the dizzying 15 degrees per hour rotation of the Earth at the equator (you would not expect to feel such a slow rotation). But I decided to do some research that I do not believe anyone else has done before. I shall simply find all the apps in the app store that rely on an helio-centric, round earth model, and then compare them with apps that have been written using a Flat Earth model. Whichever model gets the most high-quality, accurate and useful apps wins! Apps for Round Earthers First up is Google Earth.

Based on countless satellite images of a spherical Earth, Google Earth provides a virtual 3D model of the Earth. I am not sure how this would be achieved if satellites did not exist. You can add your own data to the model, such as flight plans, and if the Google were lying to us about the shape of the planet, then it would have have been discovered by countless aeronautics enthusiasts by now.

This is Google Maps, although there are other map applications out there. I am not sure how Flat Earthers think their satellite navigation system works without the existence of satellites, presumably some sort of ground-based perspective magic, however later this week I shall trust this application to navigate me on a 600-mile round journey. I shall expect to arrive at the same place I set off from.

One of many apps that add real-time information to maps. This one lets you track thunderstorm.This one is called Blitzortung Lightning Monitor.

One of my favourite apps is Sunrise Sunset. The 3D view shown here allows you to track the position of the sun at your location as it conforms to reality. You can go outside and check that the sun is where it should be. Notice the simplicity of the Heliocentric model, yet it perfectly explains all observations from anywhere on Earth. I can't wait to see the Flat Earth version of this application.

One of the achievements of a working scientific model is that it can be used to make accurate predictions even if we do not actually understand the underlying physics. The motion of planets and asteroids can all be predicted far into the future and you can also go outside and check whether the model matches your reality. The screenshot above is from Asteroid Alert.

Your smartphone is essentially a mobile planetarium. There are countless awesome planetarium apps available across multiple platforms. The one shown here is Sky Walk 2 for Android. Again, you can check that the model matches the reality around you. Note for the confused - the picture of the bear is just an aid for your imagination. I am not sure how an accurate astronomy app for Flat Earthers would work (that is dealt with at the bottom of this page), although I imagine it would have to be drawn with crayons.

One of several apps for viewing live feeds from the International Space Station. The one shown is ISS Live. I don't need much more proof than my ground-based observations suggesting a globe Earth being corroborated by a space-based camera. The ISS orbits at a relatively low orbit, but it is high enough for you to see the curvature of the Earth. You would not expect to see any curvature from an aeroplane. My challenge for the Flat Earth movement: start in Australia, get a good telescope and a hot-air balloon. Go up. Take a picture of the Eifel Tower in France. This should work for your 'model'. The interesting thing about ISS and other satellite tracking software is that you can wait for the object to pass over your head as indicated in the app, then go outside and watch it happen yourself. This happens because the software uses an accurate model of reality.

Here some software is written for the BBC Microcomputer, which even though it is thirty years old is still accurately predicting lunar eclipses. It does this because it is based on an accurate model of the solar system.

Here is some BBC Micro software for tracking the position of the day/night terminator on the Earth for any day of the year. Although there are many modern versions of this software, including www.timeanddate.com, I still use my trusty 8-bit version. This works for a globe planet. It does not work for the southern 'hemisphere' of a flat earth. The reason for this is because the flat earth model is nonsense. I shall conclude this section be simply saying that there are countless apps for various platforms that rely on an accurate model of reality, or technology such as satellites that also rely on an accurate model of reality. Let's now look at apps that use the flat earth model. I really can't wait to see what the world's best flat earth astronomers and flat earth software engineers have come up with. Apps for the Flat Earth um...

Gosh!

Oh!

Oh dear!

Aw! Well, I'll leave it there and let you make your own mind up. If you liked this post, then you might like to read some other posts about the solar system, or maybe the BBC Microcomputer. If you really hated this post then you probably think that gravity is a lie told to you by globe manufacturers to promote sales or something. Either way, you can post comments on my noticeboard. via Blogger https://ift.tt/2q2lwId https://ift.tt/2uEoY0k