#. skills . › oceans of hell come calling .

[tiderider]

tag  dump .

.     meta .     ›     where  ocean  meets  sand .

.     character  study .     ›     give  no  quarter .

.     npcs .     ›     where  we  will  we'll  roam .

.     dash  prompts .     ›     sailors  knots .

.     about .     ›     sinking  down  below .

.     aesthetics .     ›     at  the  ends  of  the  sea .

.     musings .     ›     shadows  turned  sublime.

.     skills .     ›     oceans  of  hell  come  calling .

.     powers .     ›     to  be  consumed  &  to  consume .

.     headcanon .     ›     the  devil  has  his  soul .

[winterarmyy]

Never Lie To Me

A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.

Summary: In which Y/N's sinful thoughts towards the Asset is reciprocated.

Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x hydra agent!female!reader

Words: 3.4k++

Warnings: 18+ content, no minors allowed, nsfw, purely smut and lack of plot, honestly. messy writing and lack of dialogue, sorry for that. Others may include probably incorrect russian due to the use of google translate, marking kink (if you squint), metal hand kink, finger-fucking, clit spanking, unprotected sex, creampie, soldat doesn't talk much, i figured he is more reserved but that doesn't mean his actions are (*wink wink*) he is kinda rough but the reader highkey loves it, just bunch of horny pent-up mfs getting some action for once, y'know.

Inspiration: "Cause I can see you waiting down the hall for me and I can see you up against the wall with me." – I Can See You (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Y/N didn't understand why was she sent to this field mission. There were literally dozens of others that were much suitable to do it and yet they chose her of all people? Considering her much leisure job for the past months, which basically just to guard a lab, Hydra seemed to forgot that her body have been lack of combat practice.

She hated this. This mission. This organization. All of it.

Y/N was one of those kids that Hydra stole from the orphanages for their Phantom program; it is where they train, or accurately brainwash, the kids into highly skilled assassin. And she was one of the top 5 out of the program in her batch.

But after a certain incident in one of the mission in Peru, she was temporarily relocated to Siberia to, as they say, "recover" before they can assign get into another mission. There, she was given a much lenient task, which was to guard the lab where the Winter Soldiers were created.

Those few months was both heaven and hell for her; heaven was that she didn't need to be soaked in the blood of the innocent lives and hell was that she had to be a bystander to the cruelty of the dehumanizing process of the Winter Soldier program.

Sure, everything Hydra does to its "followers" are, by nature, imbrute. I mean, she was trained like a dog since she was but a child, but this. This was just another level of evil. Such vile and merciless thing to do to another human being. The muzzles that Hydra shoved in their mouth doesn't really help to reduce the excruciating noises that they made.

Though, while she was physically forced to witness the atrociousness, there was one constant thing that kept her mind off from it all.

They call him the Asset. In fact he was the first one. But she'd rather think of him simply as a man sleeping in a cryo chamber.

Y/N had heard of this "monster", the rumours were terrible as they come and go, but she find it hard to believe that when the soldat had such a calm and kind expression on his face, even if his features were frozen in ice. That was her first impression of him; then day by day, and what felt like ages, she watched him.

Her curiosity got the best of her when she started to think of scenarios and possibilities that the man had quickly became her escape from the horrid reality around her.

Though she spend most of her time trying not to feel it, but the other times, well... the thoughts went a little wild. At one point, they got too personal even for her own mind to comprehend.

After a month of reporting at the new post, she heard the whispers of "thawing the asset" from other agents and scientists around the lab. And surely enough, one of those day, the soldat was brought back from his slumber.

It didn't cross her mind before, of what color laid behind those closed lids. But when she saw his eyes for the first time, she was in complete awe. They were blue as the vast ocean she once jet-skied over; but they were as cold like when she stepped foot at this snow covered facility.

The contrast of his dark hair and tanned skin only makes his bright eyes to become the most prominent feature on his face. And Y/N just couldn't tear her gaze away, especially when the Hydra agent that supposed to retrieve him was making such a big fuss over how slow the soldat was reacting to their commands.

What do they expect? He was literally frozen for lord knows how long just a few seconds ago. Everything must be dissociating for him. So of course, the man's mind and body needs time to adjust.

The soldat abruptly fell on his knees after exiting the chamber, causing one of the guards to strike a kick across his face, "вставай, паршивая собака! (Get up, you lousy dog!)"

And that was it, Y/N had enough of it, "Hey!" she shouted as her stomped towards the guards. The duo quickly stood straight and showed their respect to her; knowing that those who graduated from Phantom program has higher ranking than them.

The moment Y/N found her footing in front of him, the palm of her hand landed harshly across his face, "Do you realized what you just did?" She asked as the taller regained to his prior composure.

"That man!" She pointed at the soldat who was obediently sitting on the floor, "Is Hydra's most prized asset. He alone is worth thousands of you useless scumbags. And you had the audacity to lay your hands on him?!" She roared and the lab fell into silent.

The two guards can only bite on their own tongue knowing what she said was true. The soldat was in fact the Hydra's precious weapon, as for now that he was the only one who successfully weilded the super soldier serum in his veins.

Y/N walked around and stood in front of the soldat, "Are you hurt, soldat?" she asked as her gaze fell on him. His head was hanging low as he bored his empty eyes into the shine of Y/N's black boots; he shook his head and replied, "No, ma'am"

She knew he was lying, especially when she saw the drips of blood on his pants, "Look at me." She ordered in which the soldat complied. And there it was, the source of the mess, the red cut on the corner of his lips. Her frown only deepened when the bruises were slowly forming on his cheek bones.

Y/N crouched to his level, as her hand reaching for his cheeks. His body halted and stiffened when she approached, but only to be surprised by the soft carress of her fingers on his face, "If you're not injured, then what's this?" She whispered lowly; a tone where just the two of them can hear.

The soldat's empty eyes almost melt in hers; he never saw her before, who is she? Why was there so much kindness in her eyes? And why was she holding him so gently?

He let her careful thumb wiped the blood from his chin before whispered again, "Never lie to me, soldat. Do you understand?"  The soldat obediently nodded as a spiral of indescribable emotions stirred within him. His eyes lingered at the way her lips formed into a soft smile, "Good." She praised.

Since then, the soldat's gaze had remain on her almost all the time. From the moment she threatened the two guards, to the time she looked away from the tortured candidates of the Winter Soldier program, to this very second as she undresses every part of her suit.

Though the mission was a success however, their plane was utterly wrecked by an unforeseen mini gun. So they were forced to walk through the snow storm and find shelter at one of Hydra's safe house.

It was not rare for the soldat to be paired with other agents on a mission but never with a woman. Much less the pretty little bunny that he had been obsessing over. Ever since that incident, the soldat often think of her. And he really tried too keep everything professional but something within him changed lately.

One particularly distinct moment that he experienced that made it clear to him; it was when he was waiting in the hall for his handlers to drag him around the facilities, and she happen to walk towards him from the opposite side. And when he brushed pass her, he noticed how his hands was itching to grab her by the neck and push her up against the wall.

As if there was this strong urge to claim her, mark her, fuck her. That was when he realized. The soldat wanted her. He wanted ruin her for everyone else. He wanted her to be his. But, he knew they keep watchful eyes on him. On both of them. And he can't risk that.

But now that she was standing right in front of him, in her underwear no less, how was he supposed to control himself?

Y/N turned her attention towards the soldat, he stood absolutely still that she almost thought he was literally frozen, "Why are you not stripping? Even with that super soldier serum in you, I doubt that you don't feel cold from those snow-soaked clothes."

Maybe it was the dim-lit room, but she swore that the soldat eyes darkened when she walk towards him. Especially when his eyes ranked the way her wet undergarments stick onto her skin.

How many times did she fantasize about the way he was looking at her. How many times did she made herself cum from the thoughts on grinding her cunt into his metal fingers.

Too many to count.

Especially when, in her head, she could see him in his suit with his knives, she could see him throwing his black mask on the floor, she could see him bending her over to his will, she could see him make her want him, crave him, need him.

And whenever their eyes met, she often think of the what-ifs between them. Like, what would he do if she went to touch him now? What would he do if Hydra never found them out? What would he do if they never made a sound?

What would he think if she made him her own personal addiction? Then will he entertain her fantasies by making her his own secret mission?

"Remember what I told you, soldat?" She asked as her hands reached for his mask.

Without hesitation, the soldat replied, "Never lie to you." as his face was bare for her to see.

Y/N took a step forward, so close that he could almost feel her skin on him, "Now tell me, what do you want?" Her eyes found his diluted ones as he lifted his gaze from her cleavage to meet hers.

His cock was rather truthful even from the beginning; now more than before when it twitched painfully in the confinement of his pants. The soldat hissed to the feel of it before he confessed, "I want you."

Y/N couldn't help but to smile, "Then, have me, soldat."

That was all he needed to hear. Her permission to have her, to own her. Then, very next second, he had her body pinned firmly against the wall, his lips on her soft ones, his wet tongue exploring in her mouth.

The soldat had his metal hand gripping the back of her neck, not wanting that pretty head of hers to hit the wall; while the other hand unabashedly teared the bra off from her body.

Breaking the kiss, the soldat's lustful gaze watched how her breasts became bare for him. So pretty and perky. His cock twitched madly as if it was ordering him to touch them, suck on them. And he did just that.

The soldat took her right nipple into his hot mouth while his free hand pawed on the other. Y/N moaned lewdly at roughness of his hand and mouth. When she threw her head back, that was when she saw it. At the corner of the room, she noticed a CCTV camera directly situated towards their direction

She grabbed a handful of his long hair, and lightly tugged him back but he refused to stop sucking on her. Y/N huffed when she whispered, "They're watching us."

That was when the soldat quickly released her from his mouth and quickly hovered his huge body over her, he growled possessively as his quick eyes scanned for all the nearby camera.

Y/N chuckled amusingly at his reaction, "Do you not like it when they watch us?" She teased. The soldat growled again as he pulled her closer, her nipples perked even more now that they touched the cold fabric of his clothes, "Mine. Mine alone." He declared.

Y/N looked up at him with a pair of seductive eyes, "Then, what are you going to do about it?" She taunted. The soldat swiftly pulled his knives out from his thigh strap and threw it directly at the lens of each camera in the room. Now no one would have a chance witness her divine body, or see what her face looks like when he make her cum.

There weren't much of intelligible words that came out of his mouth after that, besides the grumble noises of the word "mine".

The soldat latched her mouth onto her skin, particulary around her neck, collarbone and the valley of her breast. He kissed and licked and sucked to leave his mark on her as his metal hand dug into her hips.

Meanwhile, the flesh of his right hand slide right into her panties. He fingers trailed the outer slit of her cunt; as if he was purposely teasing her, "Зайка (bunny)" he groaned against her neck when he felt how wet she was. She squirmed needily under his hand, when his middle finger poked her entrance while his thumb grazed across her clit.

"So wet, all for me?" He purred as his finger slowly dug into her hole. Y/N whined and grabbed his wrist before he could go any further, "Want your metal fingers, soldat." she slurred deliriously; already drunk with his touches.

It took all his might to not fuck her right there and then when she let him have her. The soldat wanted to treat her gently, prepare her sweetly. Now that she had confessed such sinful desire, something in him just snapped.

He pulled his hand out, and effortlessly ripped her panties from her body before lifting one of her legs up, pushing her thighs towards her body. She yelped at the sudden roughness, embarrassment crept across her spine when the soldat licked his lips at the sight of her cunt, wide open for him.

"Want my metal fingers huh,  Зайка (bunny)?" He trailed his metal fingers along her wet hole, "You got it." He abruptly shoved two of his digits into her, causing her to let out a loud gasp at the sudden intrusion.

The soldat didn't give her time to adjust, he simply pulled his fingers out to the very tip and thrust it back into her. And he does it again, and again and again. Until the pain turn into sheer pleasure.

When her eyes rolled back and shut close, the soldat growled disapprovingly, "No. Don't close your eyes. Look. Look down. Watch how your wet little hole take my metal fingers. That's it. Look at you. Fuck. Look. At. You." His pace didn't lose its rhythm when he fucked his fingers hard and fast; he curled them just right every time he hit that deep spot inside her.

His metal fingers was better that she had ever imagine, and the sight that she was looking at was so lewd that she was already so overstimulated from it, then when his thumb circled her clit, she thought she was seeing actual stars.

Streams of fluid was squelching everytime he shoved his fingers knuckles deep into her, that it trickled down his hand. It was so messy and the soldat loves it. He want her to be this messy all the time. He wanted to clean her up with his tongue. Lick every drip of her sweet fluid, swollow it like he was thristy and she was water.

At the this point, he would be willing to stay on his knees if it means that he get to have her cunt on his mouth always.

The soldat growled at the way she moaned so shamelessly at how harsh his fingers was violating her sweet pussy. He kept on rubbing on her clit and watched her body shuddered when he slap on it. Seeing her reaction, he continued to spank her clit and he fucked her harder; one, two, three, four, until she cried out a long moan and her pussy gushed with her creamy cum.

And seeing how her body trembled, her cream dripping out onto his hand, the soldat almost combust in his pants. Though apart of him wanted to feel her sweaty skin on his own, another just wanted to feel her warm pussy.

So, instead of wasting more of his time undressing himself, the soldat hurriedly unzipped his pants to release his aching cock out. He pulled his finger out and licked her cum clean while his other hand lazily pumped his leaking length, "Taste so good, Зайка (bunny). Bet you feel good too."

Y/N whined at his action, he looked so hot and bothered. And something about him fully clothed while pumping his needy cock for her; it just drives her to near feral. She let out an exasperated gasp when the soldat maneuvered her legs to cling around his waist, while his hand gripped on her hips. Her voice then stuck on her throat when he thrust his cock deep inside in one stroke.

His size was stretching her out so much that it burned, a good type of burn; in fact, the best type. The soldat on the other hand almost burst his cum the moment he entered her. She felt so good. Better that his rough hands when he jerked off to the though of her. But he was determined to make her cum on his dick before he get his own high.

So without letting her adjust to his size, he slowly pulled out and harshly slammed right back into her; fuck does it feel so good. And her mewling so needily for him does not help the situation at all. He repeated the same thing over and over until he managed to suck up his need to cum, then fasten his pace. And the sound of her wetness rubbing against his cock when he pounded into her was so damned and sinful, that never wanted to forget.

Her back repeatedly hit the wall from the force of his thrust that she needed to hold on his shoulders for support. His pace was fast and deep, almost erratic. Her moans broken when she felt the tip of her cock ramming at her womb, her walls clenching in delight to welcome such huge and hot length inside her. Every stroke was perfect and if she had no self-control she would be cumming each time the soldat forced his cock into her.

His hips slapped against her and she eagerly followed his every thrust, desperate to meet his skin as much as he was for her. And when she looked up to him, the soldat was looking directly into her. His ocean blues dove into her soul as his grunts tangled with her cries.

His breathing stuttered and his pace flatter. She could tell he was getting close. But, the soldat refused to; not until she cum first.

In and out. In and out. His pace became brutally delicious. Her nerves were stretching so good that her toes curled and that was when she felt the coil forming. Short needy pants left her lips, each one was a sign that she was getting closer to ecstacy, "I'm cumming, soldat. Please,, don't stop."

The soldat groaned, "Don't hold back." He pounded into her impossibly harder; and the delicious drag of his cock continued to punish her into pure ecstasy, forcing her cum to leak out and lather around his throbbing length, "That’s it, Cum for me, Зайка (bunny). Cum for your soldat,, ahh fuck so tight, i'm cumming too, ahh." The soldat chased his own release as continued to thrust inside her clenching hole.

"Fuckkkk i'm cumming inside you, Зайка (bunny). Will mark you mine with my cum. Ahhh ahhh fuckk", the soldat moaned to the addictive feel of her cunt milking him, and soon after when it hits him, his cock throbbed wildly as his cream leaked from the tip, endlessly filling her womb full with his warm cum.

Y/N whined to the amount of warm fluid spreading inside her. And when she thought his slowed thrust was a sign of an end, she couldn't be wrong. The soldat slowly pulled his cock out to the very tip, just pound it back into her. He groaned at the sight of his creamy cum spilling out, circling where his cock was stuffing her. Then he does it again, and again.

Until she started to moan for him, "hmmm,, s-soldat?" She hoped that he would explain himself.

His dark eyes only glint with lust and greed when a small smiled curved on his lips, "Oh, Зайка (bunny), I'm not done with you until I mark every part of you as mine."

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: This scene has been played out in my head the whole day when Speak Now (TV) came out. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this short read! Drop some thought behind for me would you?

[kazumist]

LOVESICK .ᐟ

✩ — the filipino high school genshin au that no one really asked for.

✩ — various x gn!reader. fluff. no cws. wc: 722. this got pretty lengthy oops it was only supposed to be four characters but i came up w more brainrot as i continued to write on. reblogs are highly appreciated !!

albedo, the one you always look for in the crowd. he was never a student who got all the attention, but there’s a few times when he’s called up on stage because he won a place in the art contests held. in the canteen, during the flag ceremony, or even when school ends, your eyes would always be looking for his figure in the ocean of students that would be flooding the school grounds. 

lyney, the flirtatious one who never seems to give up. this guy is dead set on flattering you. from pulling up some simple tricks from his sleeves (literally because he managed to pull a bouquet out of his sleeves once and you still don’t know how that worked) to smoothly slipping flattering words into a normal conversation you two would have. he just doesn’t know when to give up! but when you finally give him a taste of his own medicine, he’s the one stuttering with red ears.

wriothesley, the varsity player that you didn’t expect to fall for. he was out of your league, in your opinion. wriothesley had his popularity, and it was certainly deserved because of his talent, smarts, and looks. but it doesn’t matter if the majority of the school’s population fawns over him. after all, at the end of the day, he still comes home to you.

kazuha, the poet whose hands are never tired of writing for and about you. it started with him slipping some simple anonymous notes that wished you good luck for the day and that you shouldn’t forget to eat your meals. it was a sweet gesture, especially when you had a rough day. but it soon turned into poems about the things he noticed about you, like how he admires the way your eyes would sparkle in joy when you see a stray cat around campus or how he admires your loving personality, which makes him fall even harder. kazuha would never get tired of this. after all, it is you who he is writing for anyway.

neuvillette, the student council member that you couldn’t help but like. he had everything! the leadership skills, the smarts, the talents, the personality, and god, don’t even start with his looks. he was way out of your league with that! but admiring from afar simply wouldn’t hurt, right? not that much attachment, just him being a source of motivation for you to get up and go to school.

childe, the class clown who never fails to make you smile. but even if he’s typically known with the title "class clown", there is a different reason as to why he makes you smile. he’s good at reading the room and can easily detect if someone is feeling down; hell, he even makes the effort of being inclusive to everyone and making sure that they’re not feeling left out. and that’s just a really nice thing to notice. of course, it’s no surprise that childe would notice that you’ve been having a bad day as well. from passing on stupid, silly notes to cheer you up to lending his ear to listen, he’d break his back just to make you break a smile.

xiao, the one who would always wake you up. no matter the time or place, he’d always find you sleeping. and he secretly keeps you company if you’re alone. oh, you accidentally slept in the library while studying? don’t worry; xiao already took the chair next to you and decided to work there. but as the time ticks on the clock, the library has to close now, so he wakes you up. it was always the same, but you never knew who would wake you up in the end.

thoma, the guy who gets along with everyone (especially with you). one could probably misinterpret his actions as romantic because he’s just… really nice to everyone. not that it’s a bad thing; it’s sweet, really. but you can’t help but overthink if his actions have meanings. from him waiting for you at your locker, you and him playfully nudging and joking around each other without even noticing that there are others around the two of you, and his words probably have some implication—it’s complicated. it’s like, you’re friends, but you’re also not sure if your feelings for him are reciprocated.

[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 4

symbolism

disclaimer: gosho's imagery is subtle and therefore often overlooked, so in order to highlight it, i'll be referencing the work of suzanne collins, an author who tends to spell out her metaphors more

sharks

chapter 882-884

how the case begins:

how it progresses:

this isn't gosho's first time exploring the theme of sharks in the manga:

chapter 311

both shinichi and haibara relate to sharks, they're self-admittedly drawn to blood and darkness. but why?

haibara was born into it, she didn't have a choice... and even though she's no longer a part of the black organization, she still carries the past with her.

shinichi on the other hand? he seeks it out. he directly confronts it, because he wants to defeat it. his unfaltering idealism is what pushes him to be a shark.

ran is very idealistic too, which i talk about here. so why doesn't she act like a shark?

"Finnick knows then what Haymitch and I know. About Peeta. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us." - Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire Chapter 19

the closest that gosho comes to spelling it out like this, is haibara's line about ran "i'm up against dolphin, one of the most loveable creatures in the ocean"

ran's defined by more than her virtuous nature, she's also unbelievably compassionate and sensitive. that's what makes her a dolphin.

her unmatched kindness is constantly displayed throughout the whole manga.

sometimes it irks shinichi:

chapter 787

sometimes it hurts him:

but most of the time it baffles and touches him:

chapter 258

now i'm going to say something that might be controversial: from what i've gathered, shinichi doesn't just appreciate ran's tender heart... he depends on it.

and i'm not saying that lightly, i'm aware that ran's caring nature affects a lot of dcmk characters - it's the reason why vermouth calls her an angel, why haibara refers to her as a dolphin and sees her as a sister figure, hell, it's the reason why kogoro's able to function most of the time.

but i'd still argue that nobody relies on it the way shinichi does, which brings me to the next symbol i want to analyze:

cherry blossom

flowers can represent a variety of concepts, depending on your source and in what context you use them for your writing. the same rule applies to cherry blossoms.

gosho's used it as symbol for justice in the past:

chapter 687

it's interesting to look at it through that lense, but i don't think that's what the cherry blossom represents for shinichi.

after doing some research, i came to the realization that cherry blossoms are widely believed to symbolize hope and the beginning of spring.

i think that interpretation makes a lot more sense for shinran. especially if we examine their first interaction:

chapter 924

shinichi shows ran his deduction skills to impress her... ironically he ends up impressing everyone but her. shinichi's condescension leads to a full-blown argument:

but then something completely unexpected happens... despite the fact that they don't know each other, despite the fact that shinichi insults ran, despite the fact that ran's completely put off by his arrogance, despite all of that... she offers him a cherry blossom and along with it the kindest smile he's ever seen:

and i just can't help feeling like ran's cherry blossom is symbolically very similar to suzanne's dandelion:

"I found him staring at me  from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that’s when I saw it. The first dandelion of the  year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent  in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to  survive.  To this day, I can never shake the connection between this  boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the  dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more  than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his  eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away." - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games Chapter 3

"What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that." Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Chapter 27

and clearly, only ran can give that to shinichi...

let me further elaborate by revisiting the shark analogy:

the most beautiful dolphin in the sea sees a shark like him, calls him out on his bluff and instead of avoiding him, she actually welcomes him. ran shows him genuine affection, despite having so many reasons not to. how could he not fall for her?

for someone like shinichi, a cool shark who's able to recognize other predators in the sea from such a young age, seeing the innocence and warmth of a dolphin is pivotal for him, because it reminds him that there's so much more to life than constantly familiarizing himself with other sharks (in his childhood by reading and later by investigating them)... there's good too.

to summarize... shinichi sees a delicate cherry blossom, a gentle dolphin and holds on to her for dear life. he desperately clings to the promise of hope and spring, he depends on her affection and warmth. he needs ran, because without her winter would never end, he'd never escape to coldness of the sea, he'd freeze.

which explains why

a) he's so protective of her

b) ran's smile serves as a compass for shinichi throughout the whole story - while his mind is busy chasing sharks, shinichi's soul is persistently searching for the same smile that strummed his heartstrings all these years ago. which is why he immediately notices when ran's not okay (even though she's very skilled at concealing her pain) and why he always tries to make her feel better

and that's ultimately why

a) shinichi's keeping his identity a secret

b) he's so focused on getting his old body back

without ran, shinichi wouldn't have a constant inner conflict as conan, without her, he'd lack purpose and as a result, detective conan would be empty and lifeless.

ran's not just a love interest y'all...

she's the heart of the entire manga.

visit the shinran library for more

[fishrights69]

My Top 5 GARBAGE fish that suck

Here we go again. After receiving a very high ammount of notes!! (61 UwU) on the last fish list, here's another top 5 no one asked for. I've tried to use the reasoning of ''all fish are good'' but let's be honest, we'd be better off without these. 5. Monkfish🙏

So these things are weird as hell. Their ugliness alone landed them on this list. Not only are they ugly as shit, but they're also mean motherfuckers that eat basically anything. They like to cover themselves in mud and just chill there until something crosses their path which imo is fucking lazy. Some people do eat them as a delicacy apparently(ew?). Props to them for getting over the looks. Ugly/10 5/10 for laziness 4.Hairy Frog Fish💇‍♀️

If you wonder wtf are you looking at, this fish is the living embodiment of that feeling you get when you find hair in your food. This girlie loves to swallow as it's mouth can open to make space for fish almost twice her size so don't go sitting too close 💦 Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that she looks like a mistake. 4/10 appearance 8/10 for the deep throating skills 3. Goblin Shark 👺

First of all, these sharks look like if someone designed a fish based on a child's drawing of a shark. Instead of going the terrifying route and choosing one of these pictures, I opted for a derpy yet still creepy photo. Besides being quite good at ambushing prey, these dudes still tend to eat man made garbage which further argues their position on ''the garbage fish top5™''. They also are basically living fossils since they're old af and most of their body is atrophied. 3/10 appearance 6/10 for still living so long despite everything.

2.Bony-Eared Assfish🍑

This fish is for all ass obsessed fuckers. Grilling this baby and enjoying it counts as eating ass. Some cool facts about him: -The bony-eared assfish has the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio out of all vertebrates. -Assfish are soft and flabby with a light skeleton (so like a real ass) As for personality, they are not what I'd call assholes. They are quite sluggish as they prefer to sort of flap around with short bursts of energy instead of swim. They don't do much besides that which makes them a very underwhelming fish despite the sexy name :( Apparently they were given this name to make up for how utterly boring they are. 2/10 appearance 1/10 Interest in them or what they are good for (spoiler, nothing)

If you're a fish enthusiast, you probably know what's coming at nr.1 🥁 🥁 1. Ocean Sunfish☀️

There are far, faar too many reasons for this fish to be on the first spot. Not only are they the dumbest fish in the whole world, but they also are not good swimmers AT ALL (wtf is with these poorly designed fish who cannot swim??). Scientists are still perplexed at how this fish continues to stay alive. If you want more shitty facts about them, here's a link to a very famous post trashing these bitches. BUT, I have my very own reason to hate the sunfish. One cursed morning, I decided to go get educated about animals and visit Naturalis, a museum in Leiden, The Netherlands. I was having a blast looking at all the beautiful animals showcased, along with the cool facts and atmosphere. I excitedly get to the aquatic creatures floor and mesmerised, I try to take in all the beauty. At the long corridor nearing the exit, I look around admiring the fish that were displayed. Thinking I had seen it all, I move further when I turn a corner and out of nowhere.. . . . . . . . BAM

this GIANT motherfucker, hidden in a corner makes it's presence known. I'm not kidding when I say this thing is huge. Here's a picture of the replica from another angle for size reference. As you can guess, I was legit extremely spooked and actually screamed. :( 0/10 appearence 0/10 fuck this thing. useless and it gave me a heart attack

BONUS: I'm sorry but I think I've tortured myself and you enough, so to make up for it, here's a cute fishy instead: (take him)

Alright thanks for reading and follow for more fish content. Suggest me some more top5's I could do, be it fish related, or whatever your mind decides to curse me with. Still need to cleanse yours eyes? My top 5 coolest fish

[dbgdbw]

618.We're Getting Married (1)

우리 결혼합니다 (1)

“Yah! Han Yoojin!”

As we arrived at the Lyon branch of the French Hunter Association, a familiar face greeted us. Wearing an immensely wronged expression, Do Hamin gingerly approached me while shooting furtive glares in Yoohyunie’s direction. 

“Your dongsaeng just up and abandoned me in the States and left on his own!”

“Hm? What kind of nonsense is that. How old are you, that you can’t even find your own way back home from somewhere like the U.S.”

“Yah! I’m saying, he suddenly went and disappeared, despite being the one who’d called me over to help! Even though I went all the way to America for you out of a sense of duty!”

“Duty, shmoody–it’s just work, isn’t it. D’you even know how much I’ve had to spend for your expenses till now.”

At the mention of funding, Do Hamin’s mouth clacked shut. The additional fees he’d requested coverage for because those friggin’ hamsters needed to be looked after properly had added up to a pretty penny indeed, and not just once or twice, either.

“...in any case, it’s a relief to see you’re safe and sound. Your dongsaeng was a right terror to be around, all that while. I’m pretty sure my lifespan’s been reduced by half!”

“Honestly, fussing so much over a measly half year.”

“Hah? Han Yoojin, you, whether now or before, your temperament is really…….”

Do Hamin trailed off from what he’d been saying, head tilting slightly in puzzlement. Because he was of a lower rank, all of his memories from pre-regression had been wiped away completely; but it seemed like some trace impressions still remained after all. 

“Anyway, there wasn’t really a need for you to have to go all the way to the States though, right?”

“Ah, about that.”

Lowering his voice, Do Hamin whispered to me.

“While looking after Goldie, I picked up a new Skill, y’see.”

“A new Skill?”

“Yeah. Since all said and done, Goldie’s still a D-rank monster after all–I tagged along with some of Haeyeon’s Hunters to a few Dungeons, both to level up and to let Goldie stretch his legs a bit, too. And then, not too long ago, I came into possession of a Skill called ‘Rodents’ Friend’.”

…the hell was that. Was it a Skill you got awarded for True Dedication to hamsters, or something.

“Being affected by my own innate traits, it’s a type of information-gathering ability.”

“Information-gathering?”

“It enables me to gather intel that comes from rodent-type creatures, basically. The range is pretty big, too. And it’s not limited to just monsters, but ordinary rodents as well.”

Do Hamin preened, smirking a little. Wait, hold on. If it was rodents, then.

“That sounds like it’d be pretty handy?”

“Right?”

“Though not as useful as, say, cockroaches, probably.”

“...yah, it’s already heeby-jeeby enough with just ‘rodents,’ alright?”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Hamsters and rodents are oceans apart, okay! At any rate–considering that rodents are the intel source, it’s not anything clear-cut. But it’s useful for something like people-tracking. Their scenting capabilities are pretty good, and they’re fairly ubiquitous in places like cities, right. France has a lot of rodents, apparently. There’s that one that knows how to cook, yeah.(1) That one’s kind of cute, at least.”

“Cockroaches would’ve been even better, probably.”

“...rodents are already pushing it.”

Since, when it came to cockroaches, there wasn’t a place they couldn’t go. Even if it grossed me out just to imagine. After telling him congratulations on his new Skill, I turned to Yoohyunie.

“Yoohyun-ah–even so, if you’ve summoned someone over, you should’ve made sure to arrange passage for them.”

“I’m sorry, hyung. I wasn’t able to send any missives because I was undercover at the time. I didn’t think there wouldn’t be any issues, either. Things in the U.S. are safer than the situation in Africa, after all. Probably.”

“You’re right–there’s no reason to expect that a grown adult, in a metropolis with full cell signal no less, shouldn’t be able to take care of himself. All he would’ve needed to do was place a call to either Dodam or Haeyeon, ultimately. Yah–did you hear, it was like that, got it.”

“I’m only holding my tongue because of the benefits I’ve collected.”

Haminie, that guy, sulked. Him, as well–compared to how that guy had been pre-regression, his temperment had mellowed out a fair bit too. He’d been far more snappish back then, probably owing to the duress he’d been under.

“Everyone’s doing okay, right? Since I’d had to move stealthily too, I haven’t really been able to keep in touch with anyone either.”

“Eh, you could say so, I suppose.”

It was a more noncommittal response than I’d expected.

“Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just. Our Blacksmith-nim has come down with a cold, is all. It’s just a bit of a severe case, as it goes.”

 “What? How, exactly! The Forge is hardly somewhere cold, so is it because he’s pushed himself too much again, or something? And after nagging me about looking after my own health…….”

“I don’t know the specifics myself, seeing as how he’d only show up to ask after you and take care of some work, before disappearing again…….”

“Did he seem very unwell, d’you think?”

“He did look pretty exhausted.”

“Yoohyun-ah, do you know anything about this?”

“I went by the Forge.”

Yoohyunie filled me in on what had occurred following my disappearance. He’d headed into a Dungeon to meet up with the Newcomer, before being transported to Myungwoo’s Forge and meeting both the Newcomer and Hwanglim there.

“Back then, it seemed like he was incapable of even moving, but he later contacted me to say that it wasn’t something that I should let hyung know about, necessarily.”

“Even so, to not make any mention of it to this point…….”

To have both the Newcomer and Hwanglim involved–what could it have been. Just like before with the Dungeon in China, it seemed likely that it was a byproduct of attempting to help me out. If I’d known about it earlier, I would’ve consulted the Elder about it. It was a relief that he seemed to have recovered enough to have regained mobility, but……. With him inside the Forge, it wasn’t like I could contact him, but I was concerned about how he might be faring.

“Anyway–are we heading back home now, then? Goldie is waiting for me, see.”

“Ah, about that.”

We needed to stop by Sung Hyunjae’s wedding destination before that, but it was impossible to know where it might be located. Even if I wanted to ask Haminie, that guy wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it on account of how widespread the potential range would have to be, either. I’d need to know the general region the area would be in, at the very least; was he really not going to drop me a wedding invitation, after all.

I turned to look at the Association staff member, who had been lingering just on the outskirts without being able to approach us. They gave us a smile tinged with a bit of nervousness.

“If you will allow me, shall we proceed to the next area, sir?”

“Yes–certainly.”

Following the Association staff, we moved deeper into the premises. The Lyon branch wasn’t very big, but as I could sense faint traces of mana from here and there, it appeared that a considerable amount of Dungeon materials had gone into its construction.

‘It really does seem to be slowly returning, huh.’

The Mana Seal’s presence had grown a bit stronger from how it’d felt the day prior.

“Would it not cause problems, if my arrival in France were to be known?”

“As, unlike in Africa, they will be unable to move so freely in Europe, please do not be concerned, sir. Moreover–once it has spread that Director Han-nim has crossed over to Europe, the airport and plane terror incidents that have been occurring are likely to cease as a result.”

Since, France included, the neighboring countries had a far higher area-to-area ratio of airports. It would prove nigh impossible to evade all the European Hunters when moving through those routes. And the European Hunter Association had enough in-house S-rank Hunters to go toe-to-toe with the U.S. as well. Even if they tended to be autocratically-inclined S-rank Hunters, they would hardly see fit to let those terrorists run rampant on their own turf. 

“Above all, those terrorists have been a thorn in the side of Europe as well. If we are able to utilize this chance to collaborate with Korea in order to clean them up once and for all, we would welcome the opportunity to do so. This way, please.”

The Association staff member opened the door. A handful of people–some looking to be regular reporters, as well as some Association personnel–were waiting for us inside. 

“Germany’s Hunter Association’s Fritz Weyl.”

A middle-aged man, and.

“England’s Hunter Association’s Marissa Moore.”

A middle-aged woman introduced themselves to me in succession.

“How do you do, sir, madam. I am Dodam Rearing Facility’s Director, Han Yoojin.”

I felt a bit embarrassed, assembling the Hunter Association members of other countries together and addressing them like this. My bashfulness was further compounded by the fact that Haeyeon's Guild Leader, Yoohyunie, was positioned a step behind me, as though he were here in an assistant capacity. This kind of thing really didn’t suit me, after all. I’d been resolutely opposed to standing out, even right after pre-regression, too.

“This is Haeyeon's Guild Leader, Han Yoohyun. My dongsaeng, as you are likely aware.”

And next to him–well, he’s just a café owner. I supposed I was the owner too, but at this point, Do Hamin had basically taken it over. Yoohyunie greeted the two formally in turn as well.

After the expected photo op with the reporters, we proceeded to conduct a simple interview.

“It appears that something went awry in that last leg of teleportation, unexpectedly. Though I never imagined that I would end up in Africa, as a result.”

I glossed over events by remarking that any correspondence had been delayed as I’d been recovering from an injury I’d incurred, having gained shelter at a kind-hearted samaritan’s residence. As I’d been in a foreign place, there hadn’t been anyone who’d been able to recognize me, and telecommunication had been impossible on top of that.

“Any other questions you may have, I will address through a formal press release once I have returned to the Dodam Rearing Facility. Additionally–I’ve found out that, during my disappearance, happy tidings had been announced as well.”

Was there someone among them who possessed any info, perhaps.

“It appears that our dear Seseung Guild Leader has unveiled news of his impending nuptials, but whether it was because he was unable to locate me at the time, I have yet to receive an invitation to the wedding ceremony. As I am most eager to attend the occasion, if he would please deign to contact me, I would be ever so grateful.”

I made sure to casually mention that I would greatly appreciate any relevant updates coming from other sources as well. With an attitude that implied there would be an appropriate compensation for the corresponding information, of course.

The reporters filed out one by one, and it was decided that we would wait at the Association until Yerimie and company arrived, now that news had gotten out. Barring any delays, it was estimated that they might arrive here by the next day or so. 

“Has anyone here heard any news regarding the Seseung Guild Leader, perchance?”

I questioned the Association staff as well. But as expected, all the responses I received only amounted to having heard about the wedding, and nothing more.

“My daughter will be getting married very soon, as well.”

Marissa spoke up, as she arranged a sheaf of paperwork inside her briefcase.

“Ah, is that so, ma’am? Allow me to extend my congratulations.”

“She insisted on seeing to the arrangements herself, but things have posed more difficulties than expected, it seems. I’ve had to step in to assist with matters, in the end.”

“It’s a convoluted affair, after all. There’s a plethora of details that must be seen to, I imagine. Though I confess I’m not certain how things work in England.”

Marissa’s eyes curved in a gentle smile, the faint crow’s feet lines around them wrinkling. Watching the movements of her mouth, it appeared that she was actually speaking in Korean, without any noticeable detriment to fluency.

“It is projected to take place very soon–would Director Han-nim be interested in attending? Her betrothed would be immensely delighted, I imagine.”

“I appreciate the consideration, ma’am. Please convey my warm regards for their union.”

‘Immensely delighted’; was her fiancé a fan of mine, I wondered. Even though any pre-regression memories would’ve been erased, and Chatterbox’s influence had dissipated for the most part, since the events of the Party would’ve remained untouched, my popularity was probably still, ahem, pretty considerable.

The Association staff member escorted us to a nearby hotel. Saying that he would do a spot of sightseeing, Do Hamin departed, venturing outside. No messages had come in from Yerimie’s side. Telecommunications with them was impossible, too. So instead, I contacted Dodam and Haeyeon to apprise them of the situation.

[ Apart from Chirpie and Velare disappearing every so often, there have been no outstanding incidents, sir. Sorokie has matured a considerable amount. Songie has grown somewhat as well. ]

Saying that the Rearing Facility hadn’t had anything out of the ordinary occur, Kyunghoonie hyung wished me a safe trip back. Even after I’d told Chirpie, that kid, to not drag Velare places, honestly. 

“I apologize that I’ve been absent so frequently thus far. I’ll be depending on you going forward as well.”

[ Of course. And though there might still be a few days left, happy New Year’s to you in advance, sir.(2) You’ll be returning shortly, correct? ]

“That’s, well, it seems likely to be the case. Happy New Year to you as well.”

Why in the world did Sung Hyunjae have to pick January 1st for his wedding, out of all days. Though it probably hadn’t been up to him, I supposed. …if he really had been the one to decide on the date, though, I’d have to give him a hard kick in the ass.

Propping myself up on a large cushion, I stretched out lengthwise on the bed to flip through the TV channels. Yoohyunie had settled on a loveseat, and appeared to be absorbed in examining the Sovereign’s Blade. The eyes fixed on the blade of the sword were exceedingly heavy. 

“Is he bothering you?”

“...hm?”

“‘You’ I mean, from pre-regression.”

Turning to look at me, Yoohyunie tilted his head slightly.

“...a bit, I suppose, after all.”

“I thought so. That’s only to be expected, so don’t get too concerned about it, alright. Hey–I ended up in quite a state myself too, in that Dungeon in China, right. Seizing him by the collar and pulling out weapons and all~”

“I think my reaction to that was probably too blasé, back then. Sorry, hyung.”

“Nah–it, well, worked out pretty okay, didn’t it.”

I still found him a bit hateful but, well, more than that–I hoped he was living happily, now. He should be doing okay, probably. Man, it still did piss me off, though. Why did that guy have to be so annoying, anyway.

“More than anything else…….”

Yoohyunie’s gaze dropped back towards the obsidian blade of the longsword.

“Hyung probably, likes that pre-regression ‘me’ as much as me, right.”

“That’s–ah–‘cause it’s you. Because he’s you, Yoohyun-ah.”

I fought to hide the way my heart suddenly felt like it’d dropped in my chest.

“That kind of thing, it bothers me after all. If it was anyone else, it wouldn’t phase me at all. Because now, I have the confidence to believe that hyung will always return to my side in the end. But if the other contender is ‘myself’.”

“...but that’s to say, it’s still ‘you,’ right. The one and the same.”

“Yeah.”

Yoohyunie gave a small nod. He didn’t turn his head to look at me. Without realizing, my hands had clenched into tightly balled fists. My throat suddenly felt like it was drying out. I’d have to tell him, eventually. But ‘he’ was already dead, and I’d–I’d have to send him off, ultimately. Unlike the dongsaeng who was at my side now.

So it would be alright.

“Should we go outside later to go do some sightseeing, too? I saw a lot of pretty buildings. The Association staff member from earlier, they mentioned that this place is famous for its fine dining within France, too. So we can go eat something delicious together.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

He was obediently responding to everything I’d said, but he definitely seemed more brooding than usual. Aigo, what should I do. I’d have to try and placate him while we went sightseeing.

Leaving the TV on a Hunter-oriented channel, I spread open my hand. There was a faint outline of a scar that still remained.

“Kiddo-yah, could you come out for a sec?”

How was I supposed to summon it, I wondered. Diarma seemed to be able to summon and banish them at will, as far as I knew. As I managed to concentrate my magical energy somewhat, a faint heat emitted from the scar, and then.

- 퓨익!

A small, sleek, beige-furred magical beast popped out. After bounding around a few times on top of the bed, Kkoma’s tail went ramrod straight as it sighted Yoohyunie, bristling.

- 뀩! 삑!

As though lambasting him about being bathed, it thumped its hind foot a few times; but apparently satisfied once that was done, it grabbed hold of one of its long ears and began to groom itself. So this kid was pretty simple, huh. The original form’s personality had been easy-going and genial to begin with too, I supposed.

“C’mere. Come over to appa.”

폴짝폴짝, Kkoma bounded over to me with tiny hops. It was really too cute, all being said. 

“You can’t come outside without appa having called you first, ‘kay. Understand? You can’t go around on your lonesome. And don’t eat the blanket. It’s not food.”

Did it actually understand me, I wondered.

“Is it boring, being inside? Can you sense what’s going on outside from there?”

“Nope!”

Kkoma answered, 홱, abruptly shifting into the shape of a small child. Yoohyunie glanced up towards us, at Kkoma. He hadn’t bothered to pay any mind to any monsters before though; was it because she looked like me, from when I’d been young?

“Stay sleeping.”

“Sleeping?”

“‘M play with hyung in dream.”

She seemed to be referring to a dreamscape, most likely. Had the black dragon been able to teach her how to transform into a human shape, there. So it was because they played together a lot, that they appeared to be so close.

“Hyung said not to go out, too. Came out ‘cause appa called me.”

Having said her piece, apparently exhausted from maintaining a human shape, it quickly reverted back to the baby monster form. It soothed my worries some, that the black dragon appeared to be looking after his dongsaeng so conscientiously. Since, just like Gyeolie, he should be able to become ‘independent’ once he was given a name, it was probably for the best that I waited until I was back in Korea to do so. After all, it wasn’t as though I could even enlist assistance for the kids I already had, right now.  

Ordering some room service, I sprinkled a smattering of ground magic stone on top of the food and fed it to Kkoma. She didn’t appear to be a particularly picky eater, but she definitely seemed to be drawn to the crackers(3) most all the same. When I told her that it wasn’t good to eat too much of it, she thumped her tail at me in response. But even with that expression of displeasure, she listened to me well enough.

[ Seseung’s Guild Leader’s betrothed, revealed to be an English citizen. ] 

Just then, a breaking news headline scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen, where a broadcast announcing the upcoming opening of a French Awakening Center had been playing. What? English citizen? And then the news feed changed. I got that Sung Hyunjae was a bigshot or whatever, but did they really need to send this kind of thing as ‘breaking news’ to what wasn’t even a Korean broadcast station, but a French one as well. Was it because his fianceé was English? But more importantly, who in the world woul…….

“...huh?”

A dazzling golden-haired woman appeared on the TV screen. That person, was definitely.

‘That’s, Bak Hayool’s noonim?’

It was her, the woman I’d seen in the invitation recording. What–the person who’d invited him as her Party partner, was the person he was set to marry? Just when had they gotten together? Was it, in fact, actually a true love union?!

- - - - -

(1) Ratatouille reference, it’s fairly popular w koreans

(2) 새해 복 많이 받으세요 - they’re exchanging general new year’s greetings, so i localized it, but it’s ‘may you receive abundant new year’s blessings’ in lit translation

(3) 과자 crackers like, chips and sweets.. i didn't use 'confectionaries' bc that skews more 'cake'-esque in idea i think..

just as a note, kkoma (han byeol)’s gender isn’t specified at all this ch bc language-wise, it doesn’t ‘come up’ in korean (being a pronoun-dropping language); if anything, the assumption would be that she’s male, seeing as how she’s said to ‘resemble han yoojin when he was young,’ and refers to the black dragon (han seol) as ‘hyung.’

(she does this because her closeness with han seol is modeled after/a ‘reflection’ of yoohyunie and yoojin’s relationship (if their hyung-dongsaeng roles were switched + playing with different gender(s), as discussed both in-text (e.g. the prev ch) & by geunseo-nim in the afterword), hence ‘of course she would refer to [han seol] as ‘hyung’,’ while gyeol gets the usual title of ‘oppa’)

any ‘direct’ reference yj makes to her this chapter is gender neutral (e.g. ‘this kid/child’); it seems to be intentional on geunseo-nim’s part (re:not explicitly focusing on that aspect), as they had the opportunity to use ‘little girl’/’little boy’ instead of ‘child’ in certain parts–not unlike how ‘친-/chin-’ gets deliberately omitted whenever yj introduces yoohyunie to others, when it would normally be expected.

i'm planning on doing the prev ch too, just skipped it for this one first bc that one's heavier plot/dialogue-wise )b

+(Q&A)

Q) this suddenly occurred to me while i was drawing byeolie, so i came by to ask! does byeolie still refer to seolie as ‘hyung’ even after they’ve grown up??? A) to han byeol, ‘hyung’ is ‘hyung’. a lot of people around her ask whether it shouldn’t be ‘oppa,’ but she simply ignores them all ^^

+(Q&A)

Q) excluding han yoojin, who do the gyeol-seol-byeol babies like the most? A) han gyeol’s is love-hate, but he cares for sung hyunjae despite himself. han seol and han byeol like each other ^^

+(Q&A)

Q) if they were to sketch a family portrait, i was wondering who gyeol, seol, and byeol might end up drawing, in that case. A) all three of them would include dongsaeng, hyung, oppa, han yoojin and han yoohyun, bak yerim, peace and chirpie, velare, irin, sanho etc.–the people and animals that they live with–in their drawings. even walnut^^ in han gyeol’s case, he might cram a small sung hyunjae in a corner after much deliberation. aside from those, noah, moon hyuna, kang soyoung etc. might show up, depending on their interactions. han byeol in particular is the type to just draw a bunch at once as they come to mind. when it comes to the things that they like, han gyeol’s is han yoojin; han seol’s is han byeol; and han byeol would have appa, hyung, oppa, uncle, auntie, peace, and a bunch more others in the drawing besides.

+(Q&A)

Q) would it be alright if i inquired about the basic appearances/size the gyeol-seol-byeol babies have in their respective magical beast forms????? A) han gyeol has a small, silvery-pink dragon body, and fairy wings. he’s a baby dragon with soft, rounded features, but on the more long and slender side for his build. he’s able to fluctuate his size to an extent, but he likes to stay a size that’s suited to climbing up on han yoojin’s shoulder, generally. han seol is a small black-colored dragon. as a juvenile, his wings have yet to grow big enough to enable him to fly on his own (mechanically), without magical assistance. species-wise, he’s closer to an western-style dragon, and he’s capable of adjusting his size just like han gyeol; because he decided on his size in relation to han byeol’s own, he’s slightly bigger than han byeol. han byeol is wheat-colored, and has an appearance that is similar to a long-eared chinchilla. her tail is plush and voluminous, and her fur incredibly soft. she’s just about the perfect size for an adult to cup in both hands, with their hands held slightly apart; she finds it somewhat difficult to control her size fluctuations still, and while eating, tends to inadvertently grow in size. the three are fairly neck-and-neck when it comes to size; han gyeol is the longest, while in terms of volume (with fur included), han byeol is the largest ^^

+(Q&A)

Q) i’m curious about han yoojin’s ideal type. is it only ‘almost 2m height’ for han yoojin’s ideal type, and not particularly anything else besides? A) as han yoojin lacked that kind of support when he was young, he prefers a dependable older partner. his proclivity for ‘tall height + robust frame’ stems from that as well. he feels a desire to be protected, but because he has his dongsaeng and the kids, he thinks that he needs to be a protector, and so tends to repress and distance himself from that desire. if you get involved with the wrong older partner, the likelihood you might end up divested of everything from your liver to your gallbladder as you get swept up and used, is fairly high. because his expectations(criteria) for an older partner, a model adult, is excessively high, unless it’s an exceptionally outstanding person, he’s at least not likely to be easily swayed. at the conclusion of the novel, marissa is probably the most dangerous ^^ on the flip side, because he tries to become a protector as the ‘model adult’ with a younger partner, it may run contrary to his ideal type, but being with a younger partner will probably be safer for him. of course, during the novel, the circumstances make it difficult to date.

+(Q&A)

Q) i’m curious what han yoojin and han yoohyun usually do for ‘healing time*’ (*unwinding) A) han yoojin simply watches TV dramas/movies or eats something delicious. so long as there’s nothing going wrong and all the kids are safe and sound, that in itself is ‘healing’ for him. in the case of han yoohyun, as long as it’s time he’s spending with hyung, where it’s just the two of them, it can all be called ‘healing time’ for him ^^

+(Q&A)

Q) it’s said that not very many people have had the opportunity to dine with sung hyunjae; in han yoojin’s case, would he just call sung hyunjae out when he happened to be passing by seseung to have a meal together? A) in the first place, as they are the dodam rearing facility director and the seseung guild leader, and han yoojin is a high-profile f-rank, it would be difficult to casually call on one other while just passing by, from the standpoint of the novel. when they do end up dining together, it’s always over business, even if only as a formality. as sung hyunjae does not wish to additionally be forced to engage with others when faced with the already tedious business of eating, unless it’s with han yoojin or song taewon, he does not enjoy dining with others. from a post-series standpoint: since he was able to break free from the stifling circumstances, and (unilaterally) thinks that he meshes well with the young chaos, he’s quite enjoying looking after chaos ^^

+(Q&A)

Q) sung hyunjae-song taewon-han yoojin; if these three were able to gather together comfortably post-epilogue, would a day ever come where they might use hyung/dongsaeng address? A) there’s a chance that they’ll be able to have a comfortable get-together, but as far as hyung/dongsaeng goes–perhaps as a joke, but it seems unlikely that it would ever happen in earnest^^ in the case of han yoojin, he might do so with song taewon, but he’d dislike the prospect of placing sung hyunjae above himself; and as he wishes to have both of them stand on equal footing with him, sung hyunjae likely won’t be particularly inclined to place either person beneath himself as a dongsaeng. for song taewon, just being able to achieve peace of mind while caught between the two will probably be difficult enough.

+(Q&A)

Q) when sung hyunjae calls han yoojin ‘yoojin-ah’ on occasion, the two seem like they share a laid-back and amicable hyung-dongsaeng relationship, which is really nice to see~ would there happen to be instances where sung hyunjae occasionally calls him ‘yoojin-ah’ comfortably, outside the lens of the novel? if so, i’m curious what those occasions might beㅎㅎ and when he refers to soyoungie too, it seems he’ll call her ‘kang soyoung-yang’ while she’s there, but when talking about her with other people, he’ll go ‘soyoungie did x~~’ and such. like uncle and niece, it’s very heartwarming. in the same vein, when yoojinie isn’t there, i wonder if he’d go ‘yoojinie did x~~’ and so forth? i thought i recalled seeing a passage like that, but my memory is a bit hazy on which scene it wasㅠ A) if he wants to throw han yoojin off-kilter, he’ll call him by a different title/manner of address(호칭). if it’s for something he wants, he’s capable of saying things like ‘yoojinie hyung^^’ as much as it takes; but since it’ll lose its efficacy if he gets used to it, he’ll probably only do so when absolutely necessary. in the case of kang soyoung, it’s because she’s his guild member; but as han yoojin is dodam’s director, while in front of others, he’ll typically address him in a formal manner. because of his qualification as a ‘partner,’ so long as he doesn’t have other designs in place, he’ll extend the appropriate treatment to him, at least in front of others. while it’s fine if it’s himself doing the debasing, he’s not the type who would allow others to look down on him in the same manner.

^군 = ‘-goon’, 양 = ‘-yang’

+(Q&A)

Q) in the many lives that he’s lived, has sung hyunjae ever dated or gotten married? A) perhaps in his first life, or at the very early stages when he was just starting to be planted; after a while, he came to nearly lack that kind of desire altogether. part of it is also because he’s unconsciously aware of his own circumstances (i.e. being bound to crescent moon).

South Korea population decline.

[snippychicke]

u asked for kuro ideas to write to riddle me this bestie:

some girl ate a devil fruit that gave her shapeshifting animal abilities so while shes in cat form kuro kinda..... adopts her, as a cat, not knowing.... OOPS THAT CAT IS ALSO HUMAN!

You're the best bestie for coming when I call. 😘 (And I mean, I was the one to pull you into One Piece Fandom anyways)

So here you go!

(Edited Sept. 29-- I needed more of this, so I finished the story. Hints of Spice but nothing to terribly nsfw)

--Set at a random port after the events of Syrup Village

We can all agree Kuro, more likely than not, loves cats.

Like, certified crazy cat dude. Especially black cats, but loves all cats to be honest. More relatable than humans, and far more reliable.

Then we have you, our animal-shifting devil fruit eater. Lingering around ports as a cat was a lot easier than being a human, and being a black cat typically guaranteed that you were more or less left alone by the superstitious sailors.

This makes it very easy to pilfer goods as a thief. You could scope out who has what and easily slip in and out without any questions

When you meet Kuro, you didn’t initially think anything of it other than he was one of the kind ones. You were used to many going ‘pssp pssp pssp’, but instead of an empty hand promising head scratches, Kuro actually had some smoked fish for you.

And well, you weren’t going to turn down a free meal. Or the scratches from ears to tail. The animal instincts that were usually wary of humans settled around him, so you weren’t to worry. He didn't even try for your belly as you laid on your side to enjoy the sunlight.

Unbeknownst to you, when you flopped down by his side as he sat on the pier (finding the ocean a nice place to figure out a plan for the future after the disaster of Syrup village) he decided right then and there that you were his.

Once he picked out which ship to steal, he plucked you from your sunbathing by the scruff of your neck and ran.

Before you realized what was going on, you were dumped on the deck of a small boat, the port drifting away. Yet instead of transforming then and there, you decided to hide as shouts and gunfire filled the air.

(Unfortunately, the fight-or-flight instincts were too hard to ignore in animal form.)

You weren't sure how much later it was when Kuro found you and tried to coax you from your hiding spot with food, but it was long enough for the island to be little more than a speck.

He was not expecting his new companion to shift into a human after they wiggled out of their hiding hole, their eyes narrowed in anger.

"What the hell?"

After a lot of confusion, arguing, and maybe some tense feelings, you do end up as partners.

After all, you're a thief of opportunity. But between his planning skills and your abilities, the sky is likely the limit.

The Marines are clueless that Kuro lives, and you're unknown considering no one thinks to link the black cat with the thefts.

A new version of cat burglary. You laugh about it, Kuro rolls his eyes, too cautious to believe your good luck will continue.

As it turns out, you both dream of an easier life. You share your dreams during the late nights sailing between islands while he listens quietly.

Part of him can't help but hope that since you have similar goals, maybe he doesn't have to be so cautious around you.

The hull is soon filled with stolen goods that you start selling to black market contacts into a diverse mix of stacks of Berries and precious metals and gems.

There are nights where you can't sleep, and you have been known to sneak into his quarters as a cat to curl up next to him, just to feel less alone.

He is well aware, though won't say anything. In the morning it will be like nothing happened, but through the night his hand will be on your back as you snuggle close to his chest.

He treasures those moments just as dearly as you do.

Kuro won't admit it, but he wishes you felt confident to come to him as a human as well. But he'll take whatever affection you are willing to give, because he is too cautious to ask for any himself.

When you start reaching the targeted goal, your heart starts feeling heavy, as does his.

Both of you had grown closer during your travels, slowly trusting in each other as well as falling in love.

You're not sure who suggested advancing the goal since things had been going so well, but it's unanimous. After all, better safe than sorry, right?

Between raids, you talk more about where you want to retire to, and sometimes will start adding to the others dreams.

Things take a turn when a theft ends up with some alcohol on board. And well, you deserve to celebrate a little.

Neither of you are drunk. Just relaxed. Inhibitions and walls lowered.

Kuro is the one who makes the first move, cupping your jaw like he would if you were a cat, and commenting on how brilliant your eyes are even as human.

One small little kiss quickly ends up with you in his lap, hands roaming each other slowly, studying the other. You indulge in the feel of the muscles he hides with his clothes. Running your hands through his hair.

He calls you beautiful. Claims you as his, calling you his beautiful thief. Kuro enjoys the shape of your body, squeezing and massaging your hips, waist, ass.

When you beg him please and admit that you need him, it breaks him. He carries you back to his cabin, to his bed. Admits to you how he had dreamed of this, how often he wished you would join him as a human, as he worships your body, carefully noting each little sigh and gasp.

Your nails digging into his back is bliss to him as he finally enters you. The careful, cautious part of him evaporates, leaving the pirate captain who takes delight in making you scream and beg. Whose strength and speed threaten to break the small bunk as he plows into you.

He says those three words as he comes, swearing he is never going to let you go. You're barely able to think straight after so many orgasms, and hope that your soft little kisses in the afterglow convey what you mean.

The fact you curl up next to him, human this time, and falling asleep says enough.

You do end up together in a small but bountiful town, a little townhouse with the comforts you both crave (and plenty of cats.)

… you also may take 'sailing trips' when you both feel too wild for your new life. Just once in a while. There are rumors of the ghost of Captain Kuro and an unearthly black cat that spread through the East Blue.

[spidereggs888]

MIGUEL IMPREGNATES EVERYONE IN A 69 FT RADIUS!

🤰🫄🫃🕷

/j 💀

Miguel and You

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

ACT 2 | BLACK MARKET DEMONS

This has a drawing

If you haven’t read ACT 1, click this

•°《🕷》°•

You can’t remember how much time has passed or what you were doing. Those freaky eyes fade from your vision, and now you can barely see your own legs and shoes. It’s dark. Horror movie dark. You hear a scuffling sound from nearby. This so feels like a b-horror where the main character keeps surviving somehow. You hope this is the case.

“Dis shit’s useless!”

As your vision returns, you squint to the side and see someone’s back to you, crouching on the ground with a laptop. You assume it’s the guy who led you down here, but who the hell is he? And how does he know you?

You check your surroundings without moving your head too much in the hopes you’ll find a clue. You appear to be under the maintenance level of Nueva York, since there’s pipes all around the walls, all filled with the deafening roar of ocean water. This is far below your home level, down in the bottom where Nueva York was called New York. The place stinks of rot that would have made you gag if you weren’t already used to the dumpster near your apartment cube.

Through all the steam hissing you hear the familiar clinking sound of your data sticks.

“Fiddy grand here…. Four dere… not enough…”

This fucker is probing through your savings! It’s not much to him but you need it for your bills!

“Oh shock it!” He grumbles. You see his head turn, so you immediately return to your hypnotized pose. You can hear him clamber over and lean in close. His breath stinks of rationed mineral chips, food people buy when they are facing starvation. Alchemax wanted to save face in the public eye years ago, so they made those nasty mineral bars to fight starvation. You made it a point to never eat them since Speshall told you what’s in them. You feel bad for this black market demon. He’s probably also down on his luck despite his skill set.

You don’t feel sorry for him for long. He briefly presses something metal against your ear, and with a click sound he administers a sharp jab. You flinch but try to remain in a fake stupor. He rubs something against the wound, and you feel warm blood trickle down your lobe. He Sméagol-crawls away to his laptop light and you carefully squint his way again. You can’t see what he’s doing but you hear the clinking of glass.

You finally recall his voice again. He was following you after you parked your car before going in for the O’Hara interview. He must have been trying to snatch you up in broad daylight, because that’s how fast the black market demons are.

“No illnesses… a lil’ iron deficiency but dat can be overlooked…”

Oh fuckin hell, he intends to sell your organs.

You move your hands and see they are taped together. Your pants are stapled together (who the hell even does that?!) and you are stuck on your bum. You raise your gaze ahead of you and see a man in the same pose as you, except he doesn’t look well at all. In fact, there’s a dark pool at his stomach and his pants are drenched.

Holy shit!

You nope the fuck out of there and the demon hears you. He slams down his little science project and chases after you. Your pants are ripped from resisting the staples. You dash down the dark alley of tubes and pipes. He almost grabs you but he is hit with steam.

“Augh my fuckin eyes!”

You keep running. You can feel a cool breeze coming from somewhere. You have to get to the street. You have to get away. You left your data sticks behind but so what?! He’s AFTER you!

“DON’T LET ‘EM GET AWAY!” he screams.

Multiple freaky masks and eyes appear in the darkness! More demons! They are clambering out of their dwellings. You run past one of them flaying a body under a red light. You don’t stop to investigate, you keep running. The air smells even more rotten this way, a blend of ocean water and dead bodies. You keep running, your legs burning. Damn the sedimentary lifestyle of your office job. You are out of shape and trying to run for your life.

More creepypasta masks appear from the dark. You stare straight ahead. You can’t look at them. They mean to stop you. They mean to tear you apart. One grabs your scarf and you spin out of it. One grabs your jacket and you slip from the silk sleeves. Your lungs are on fire. You escape between stacks of broken monitors, shoving them behind you to slow down your assailants, but you are getting slower, too. Your path is getting wider, but also darker. There’s very little light here.

You stop at a completely dead and dark end. You can’t see anything in front of your face. You try to quiet your ragged breaths. You can hear the demons getting closer, but if you run more, you risk crashing into something you can't see.

“Turn around!” the demon demands.

You do nothing except stare bug-eyed into the darkness.

“Turn AROUND! Are ya deaf?!”

The vast darkness is barely illuminated by all the masks that strobe behind you. You can see a ledge before you, with nothing visible down below. What a drop off!

“LOOK AT ME!”

He grabs your shoulder and turns you to face him. He’s even closer now, his weird eyes pulsating black and white.

“Das right… look into my eyes…”

You feel your senses numb again. Your mind goes foggy. Maybe it was better to jump than face the horrors of the demons who will tear you apart. Then you hear someone else moving in the dark.

“Found you.”

Your demon is grabbed by the neck. Near him a whole illuminated bodysuit of a man materializes from the darkness. Bright red designs light up his massive chest and shoulders, and his mask has abstract eye marks that emote into a scowl as he tightens his grip on the demon’s neck. You feel as if you are trapped in the deep ocean where no light reaches the floor and you are witnessing one of its denizens about to be devoured by an even bigger one.

A giant red palm pushes you away onto the ground. You crumple down and watch the demon being raised off his feet like a rag. He is gasping for air and thrashing his pathetic legs around.

“You guys wanna see something?”

The mask of the larger man vanishes, but you can’t see many features with the strobe light of the demon’s copypasta mask. What you can make out are a set of terrifying fangs, a gaping maw opening unnaturally wide at the demon who makes a strangled shriek. You hear a nasty chomp sound, like someone taking a bite into a roll of hamburger meat! The demon kicks his legs helplessly, which looks even more horrible in the strobe light. The other demons bolt, and you instinctively lay down as they dash around you for their own escape. You try to ignore the icky gasping sounds. You hear a low, deep chested hum of satisfaction from the bigger predator. You try not to look, but you hear no more sputtering and kicking.

It’s over. The attack is over and the demon is not moving. Even his mask’s light dims in defeat. You close your eyes, unsure of what to expect next. All you know is that you do not want to be the center of attention. Your eyes snap open when you hear the demon's body fall to the ground.

“Lyla, scan the body.”

“He’s alive. The venom is doing its work.”

“And the other one?”

“Also alive. Probably still under the effects of the hypnosis.”

“That should wear off soon. We need to get back to the surface.”

“Affirmative! I’ll map out the quickest route!”

No fucking way. Accent and everything, even down to having an AI helper named LYLA. If WTF was a sensation, you would be feeling it now.

The black market demon is dragged away. You raise your head and see the large fellow wrapping the demon up in a bright red web. No fucking way is this happening! He’s rolling this guy around and around like a dead fly. There is no other person this could also be!

This man, Miguel O’Hara, has been moonlighting as the illusive vigilante Spider-Man!

You should really be more discreet with your spying but you can’t help it! Spider-Man stands upright, his whole suit fully illuminated with tech not yet known to the public. Dark blue and bright red, the patterns akin to the original Spider-Man who lived a hundred decades or so ago, except more minimalist to match the 22nd century aesthetic with a touch of ancient Mexican design. His mask re-materializes but you didn’t need to see his face to know who he was, there’s too much personal evidence to be mistaken. He stands proudly at 6’9” feet, like a beacon in the darkness. Then you hear a weird gurgle coming from him and he doubles over.

“Eugh!”

“I told you they added cream again. Why did you drink it anyway?”

“I was in a hurry.”

“Haste makes waste! You ended up spending an hour in the bathroom, which canceled your SM society meeting.”

“Not everyone was there anyway- Dios Mio I think I’m dehydrated…”

He groans then comes over to you and grabs your bound hands. With surgical precision he scratches off the tape with claw-like protrusions from his fingertips. You don’t move. The last thing you need is for him to know that you know him. You don’t know what to do with this information right now, it’s too much!

You are lifted off the floor with ease. You keep your eyes closed but wish you could see what’s going on. He cradles you in his giant arms and you assume he must be checking you over. It’s like being hugged by a couch.

“A scratch on the ear… no severe damage.”

You hear a small sound of indifference in his throat before you are rolled around in webbing, round and round like a burrito.

He slings you and the demon onto his shoulder like a couple of grocery bags, and you come cheek to cheek with your attacker. You scowl at his stupid face. His creepy eyes are all crossed and his jaw is slacked with his tongue poking out, so you turn your head away discreetly. Your savior walks a bit, jostling his luggage around to get comfortable before lunging straight up.

You can hear screaming from below. The demons didn’t run away out of fear; they fell back for reinforcements. You peek down and see their hypnotic faces flashing up like angry ghosts from outer space. As you and your company ascend higher, projectiles fly up, nearly hitting you in the head.

“Over twenty black market demons are on your tail,” Lyla announces.

“Got it.”

Spider-Man throws you and the demon straight up and you let out a yelp. The world is spinning out of control and you try not to feel sick. This must be what it’s like to be a shirt shot out of a t-shirt cannon. You are at the mercy of the bright red web pinning your arms to your sides as you fall back down to earth like a corn. You catch a glimpse of what’s going on below and see red streaks of lights. Demons are being flung all over the place, their projectiles not fast or strong enough to stop this even bigger monster from tearing through them.

Gravity is merciless, but before you can land anywhere more red webs fly at you from the dark, snagging you and your company on a light pole. You look down and see some of the demons below trying to reach you, scaling the light pole with crackhead energy. There is a loud ringing sound and the pole vibrates for a split second, making your teeth rattle.

The light pole shifts, cut in half like paper by something red moving lighting fast. The demons screech to each other (something about getting the hell out of there), and you are too stunned to scream for help as the whole metal pole is now falling. [Do you know how freakin big metal light poles are? Just walk up to one, they are actually ginormous. Blew my goddamn mind.]

The pole crashes down and gets stuck across two large machines, the top end jammed into the massive machinery. The webbing took all the shock of the fall, so you and the demon are dangling like a pair of converses on a telephone wire. You jerk your head around as the demons come crawling like ants, their pursuit hindered by the violent shaking of the metal pole. One flings herself close and grabs you by the head, and you lock eyes with her freaky face. She got mouths where her eyes should be!

The she-demon is knocked away with a nasty slap sound, ragdolling away into the vast darkness.

“-- Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—------”

Your hero is slapping the demons around, just pimp-slapping them all over the place.

“¡ESTUPIDO!”

*THWACK*

“¡PENDEJO!”

*SLAP*

“¡VETA A CASA CON MAMA!”

*POW*

“BYE BITCH!”

*SLAP*

(that last one had their whole mask slapped off. Contacts went flying, too.)

The demons get the hint and refuse to be humiliated further. They scatter off in the dark, and you can hear cursing and swearing as they go back to their deep dark dwellings.

“THAT’S RIGHT! ¡LARGATE, FUCKERS!”

He crouches on the metal light pole with great balance and listens as the demon squalling grows distant. He huffs with satisfaction.

“Shocking idiots…”

Spider-Man crawls his way across the shaky pole and retrieves his spider sacks with people in them. He leaps off as the machine finally rips through the pole, sending it falling all the way down into the darkness. Spider-Man listens to it hit the bottom.

“Okay, we leavin’ this ass-crack of the city for real this time.”

“A few of those people are critically injured,” Lyla reports, “I saw someone’s eye pop out.”

“Well I guess someone’s gotta keep an eye out, right?”

You always heard OG Spider-Man was a notorious wise-cracker, but this guy goes a little darker with his brand of humor. He was right about one thing.

Fuck those guys.

•°《🕷》°•

You and the demon are plopped down on the ledge of a building.

"Alright, time to put you back where you came from. And I'll just leave ugly here-," he says, hanging the black market demon upright on some wrought iron decor, "Even if he wakes up and frees himself, he'll still be stuck on this roof... unless he decides to jump off... then Godspeed, heh heh."

He takes you into a one arm embrace and scales down the side of your apartment using his web as a cord. Your face is being mushed into one of those monster pecs of his, and you try not to protest the fact that you can't breathe well. You hear a crash of glass.

“Yeah, your foot just went through a window,” Lyla announces.

"Ah shock... I'll pay for that sometime. This must be the bedroom."

He kicks in the rest of the window and deftly slides indoors, holding you against his waist. You barely open your eyes and see, by the arrangement of LED lights, you are home in your one-room studio apartment. He plops you down on your bed and rips off the red webbing.

“Yeah, you are in for a throbbing headache tomorrow,” Spider-Man says, keeping his voice low.

You are still pretending to be asleep as you hear him poke around at your stuff. You can hear your apartment hub terminal activate. You wonder what he’s doing messing with that.

“I’ve ordered nausea and pain relief to be delivered to this address,” Lyla confirms.

“Good. Those visual-hypnotic masks do some nasty damage. They need to get booted from the black market somehow. You got any ID on cara de moco?”

“Jeff Landers. Lost his apartment in Queens. Pretty much plinko’ed all the way down.”

“Ah, uh huh.”

“His last known location was in the Thor Memorial Housing,” Lyla continues, “his caseworker was the last person to see him.”

“Little did they know he’d go from praising Thor to harvesting organs,” he says, a little amusedly.

“He had a bad history of abuse from his father and lived in poverty. Can you really blame him?”

You hear Spider-Man walk near the foot of your bed. There’s a pause.

“I do blame him,” he finally concludes, “you can have the worst upbringing but still try to be a decent person. His shitty life doesn’t warrant torturing other people. He coulda been more like this one here, doing everything within reason to get by while still being a good person…”

He means you.

“Whelp, time to go torture that dummy. Gotta find out where he got that stupid mask.”

You can hear him stepping over your things and slipping out of the broken window. As soon as he leaves, you spring up and run to the window. You watch this giant man scale up from below. You didn’t mean to or expect it but get a direct buckshot of his backside for a moment [Why the heck is his suit so TIGHT? WHY?! You never seen a crotch so sculpted like that, what the fuck. Do he know this?! Is he aware he looks practically naked?! It’s like his suit is painted on- ]

He jumps from your apartment to the adjacent building where he left the black market demon. There’s no mistake of who he is, especially with that body, but now he’s gone and you are left to pick up the pieces both literally and figuratively. Now what the hell are you gonna do?! Your phone and your lanyard of data sticks (basically your wallet) are still down in hell with the other demons!

There’s no time to lose. You must cancel all your credit cards and change the passwords on every account you own, because it’s not like those demons are gonna pay your bills for you!

Turning on your computer interface in the wall, you video-call your landlord. The only thing you can really explain to him is that you busted the window when you were moving furniture around. He’d never believe Spider-Man kicked it in. You find that Spider-Man is cool in more ways than just looks, your landlord thanks you for a forwarded payment with the attached note sorry about the window.

After allowing him 10 minutes to lecture you with no interruptions other than a nod or sound of agreement, you close the video with him, then begin the long hunt down of all your credit and banking connections. You use your email to recall every important account. You even find some that are out of service and close them down. It’s a humbling experience, but not in the same way as being kidnapped by that black market demon. You feel like you are dissecting your life choices, reviewing things you hadn’t thought of in a long time. You unsubscribe from the health newsletters you don’t even read anymore. You delete the emails you swore you were gonna read later. All of it, fuck it, throw it in the trash. Guilt chain letters be damned, they will have to get their money from someone else, because you won’t ever be rich enough to become a philanthropist.

You are satisfied to some degree. You look out the window Spider-Man left through. Even though he met you as Miguel O’Hara, how did he find you? How did he know you were in trouble? You’ll have plenty of time to think of that in the shower, since you smell like sea water and dead skin particles.

.°˖✧🖫✧˖°.

The next morning, you reactivate your old phone after your mother sent you some money. She’s always offered, and every time you refused, but this time you didn’t need to be spending all of what you have left. You send her a text thanking her and promising to pay her back. Afterwards, you open a video chat with Speshall.

“Hey!”

“Sup, poser?!” She sings back. You were always caught off guard by her humor, but you needed that shit today.

“I had the most fucked up day, yesterday!”

You spend the next thirty minutes telling her what happened. She laughs, she screeches, she squawks, and she groans. Then you get to the horrible parts with the black market demon, then the larger-than-life rescue from Spider-Man.

“He musta been spying on their asses or something”, she says, “how else could he know you were in danger?!”

That is a pretty good question. It must have everything to do with his identity as O’Hara. You both exchanged information, after all. Maybe he was tracing your phone? But no, you decide not to tell her about this, about the possible correlation between Spider-Man and O’Hara.

“No idea but I’m glad he showed up.”

“Yeah, maybe you were in the right place at the right time or whatever. Hey, what do you have planned for dinner? My boyfriend flaked, maybe you can come over later. Hang on, I gotta make sure he’s really not coming tonight-“

Her voice drowns out as your mind shifts to thoughts of O’Hara. Did he remember who you were? He must have, right? Maybe he will also take pity and hire you, now that he’s seen your pitiful house. And what’s more, what if you become some kind of keeper for him?! Maybe knowing who he really is might be a kind of bargaining chip for getting hired? No, that’s something Brody would do, the goon. No, Miguel O’Hara’s secret identity is good as safe. Besides, he thinks you are a good person! You need to keep being that. You feel glad to have covered for him.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

“Huh?”

“I sent you some money! Check your email!”

“Oh!”

You open your inbox and see a few new notifications. Money from Speshall, a newsletter from Maglev Motors that you kept the subscription to, and an email from Alchemax Business Bureau. You click on that first, it might be important.

Employee 2232

By request of the CEO of our parent company, you are no longer scheduled for the meeting in the major temp office of Alchemax Business Bureau. We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and wish for the best in your future endeavors in your department. This is by no means a termination to your current occupation. Thank you for your time.

— Management

“Oh no no NO!”

“What is it? Did the money not go through?!”

You sit back and put your hands on your head.

“O’Hara just canceled the meeting!”

__________________________________________

Next: ACT 3 | INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

[autisticsupervillain]

It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

Tom Hansen vs Robert Cross!

Conditions:

No restrictions.

Scenario:

After the events of Cold Fear, Tom gets reassigned to Blackwatch for his proven proficiency in combating bioweapons. Robert Cross challenges him to a sparing match to see how advanced his skills are.

Analysis: Hansen

The ocean depths are a mysterious and dangerous place. At the lowest survivable levels of Earth's surface, strange creatures straight out of Lovecraft's nightmares evolved to survive the dark, cold, crushing depths of the ocean floor. And humanity was about to unearth some of its most dangerous creatures.

In the coldest parts of the Atlantic Ocean, Russian oil diggers discovered a new form of life within the ice they were mining. Exocels. Parasitic creatures that were completely uncategorized by existing scientific theories. Capable of overtaking the higher brain functions of their host and mutating them in response to dangerous external stimuli. Naturally, the crew of the Star of Sakhalin begain trying to weaponize these new creatures to sell for a profit. Predictably, it didn't work out. The ship was quickly overrun by mutant zombies and a distress call was sent out.

The call was answered by Tom Hansen, an officer of the United States Coast Guard who really wants to be Leon Kennedy. He and his crew were sent to rescue everyone on board, only to find everyone already dead or zombified. Narrowly surviving the massacre of his crew, Tom was left alone on the ship as the only thing stopping the Exocels from falling into the shadowy hands of the CIA.

Luckily, Hansen comes equipped with every weapon a survival horror protagonist could ever need. He comes decked out with the usual affair of pistols, shotguns, and automatic weapons, each laser scoped to ensure perfect accuracy. Even his standard M1911A1 can completely pop a human’s skull like it was made from confetti, to say nothing of his MP5, AK47, and Benelli M4. But all of that pales in comparison to his sawed off M79 Grenade Launcher to blow apart any Exomutant that gets hit by it, even shredding through Exo zombies that evolved specifically to withstand bullets and fire arms.

Tom would quickly adapt against the rapidly evolving Exocels, using a modified harpoon gun whose harpoons emitted a protein gas, allowing his shots to distract Exocels with delicious smelling harpoons. Perfect for luring them into a trap or grouping them together for a grenade. Hansen has fought through squadrons of Russian mercenaries, defeated invisible Exocel zombies, dodged a steel door that was blasted at him by an explosion, and survived getting infected by an Exocel that tried to eat him alive from the inside out twice.

With nothing but raw wit, determination, and witty one liners, Tom rigged the entire ship to blow with C4 and faced down the man behind the entire disaster. Kamsky, the mad scientist turned sentient Exomutant out to replace humanity with his zombified master race. Kamsky is strong enough to completely demolish a metal bridge just by jumping right through it, generating an energy equivalent to 397,700 kilojoules.

Source:

Ultimately, Hansen defeated Kamsky, blowing the Star of Sakhalin to pieces and exterminating the Exocel threat once and for all.

Analysis: Cross

Captain Robert Cross. The Specialist. The elite of the elite and Blackwatch's greatest operative. When everything's gone to hell and the zombie apocalypse is knocking on the door, he's the man the US government calls in. He's insurance. Cross contained the viral outbreak in the underground city of Springfield. He's chased down powerful infected by himself and killed them with his bare hand, and he's the only mortal man to fist fight Alex Mercer one on one and live to tell the tale.

So when the Blacklight Virus contaminated New York and turned Manhattan into a post apocalyptic warzone, Cross was called in. His mission: Kill Alex Mercer.

Cross would prove to be the most tenacious and devastating human opponent Alex would ever face. Cross had done his homework. He'd use a shock baton to keep Mercer at a distance, fire homing rockets to harass him from afar, and control the battlefield with tactical use of land mines and fire grenades.

Now, Cross is one of the earliest bosses in the game, so he doesn't actually scale to the endgame feats Alex demonstrated. No earthquake scaling or relativistic reactions for him. Mercer at this point in the story was still getting ragdolled by Elizabeth Greene.

That said, he's still clearly superhuman. Mercer in the early game could still dodge tank shells, catch helicopters, and tear down buildings by himself. Alex could even burst clean through a two foot thick metal door, a feat that would require roughly 235,600 kilojoules to perform.

Source:

How did Cross compete with this? He's Robert Cross, don't ask questions.

Even laying defeated, Cross still had one last trick up his sleeve. Realizing that Alex hadn't yet regained all his human memories yet, Cross would refer back to Alex's death at Penn Station, triggering a painful flashback that distracted Mercer long enough to be injected with a parasite. This virus would hamper Mercer's powers and nearly kill him, with Alex only escaping being brought in right there by sheer luck.

Unfortunately, this would be Cross's undoing. After Mercer expunged the parasite from his body, it would become its own entity, becoming the Supreme Hunter. It would then track Cross down, assimilate him, then use his memories to attempt to manipulate Mercer into helping it consume all life on the planet. Alex would only narrowly defeat it by the skin of his teeth.

In a way, even in death, Robert Cross was the biggest human threat that Alex Mercer would ever face.

Throwdown Breakdown:

This is a fairly simple fight, honestly.

Hansen should be pretty even with Cross in terms of stats. Cross scales to Mercer catching helicopters, while Hansen can dodge explosions, both being roughly in the hypersonic ranges of speed. If anything, Hansen should even be slightly stronger, 397,700 kilojoules vs Cross's 235,600. Buuuut, that's where it all swings the other way.

Cross is better equipped. His electric baton is a better melee weapon, his homing rockets allow him to destroy or get around Hansen's cover, while his incendiary grenades and mines give him better battlefield control over Hansen's mostly stock arsenal. Everything short of Hansen's grenade launcher is just completely outpunched by Cross's destructive weaponry.

And skill is something that Hansen can't even compete with. Hansen is a regular Coast Guard officer in out of his depth against the zombie outbreak he's faced with, while Cross was hand picked to be a part of Blackwatch, an organization designed specifically to combat such bioweapons. Cross's status as a legend by Blackwatch standards, as well as his ability to fisticuffs Alex goddamn Mercer, puts him on a different level of skill entirely.

Hansen would compete evenly initially, maybe even getting an early advantage with his greater strength and superior reflexes, but once Cross had his number, he'd be swiftly outmatched and beat down.

Then, Cross would offer him his hand, compliment his right hook, and welcome him to Blackwatch.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Robert Cross!

[cyberphuck]

ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE ABRIDGED: PART FOUR

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn’t want to have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them!

 EDIT: Halfway through Jhaampe I start calling “The Big Turnip” the “Big Onion” instead and I can’t be arsed to fix it.

Read Previous Entries!

 Alright Bastards and Old Bloods, this is it: the final entry and JUMBO-LENGTH conclusion to Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged!

 - Excerpt from Chade Fallstar's private writings, Grune 28th, 1497:

Dear Diary, the other day we caught a little zombie-Forged girl and I've been keeping her in a jar with a stick and a leaf. If I shake the jar, she talks. She knows who she is and who her family is, and she also knows a lot of swear words. I gave her some bread when she wasn't hungry and she said "shove it up your ugly ass." I tried to teach her a trick and she bit me. I decided to send her to live on a farm upstate along with Chivalry and Prince Regal's mom.

 Love, Chadey.

 While Chade has been playing Jane Goodall with Forged people, Fitz has been very busy being an alcoholic. One evening, Chade calls Fitz up into his wall-hole and says "It's time for you to stop being a drunk and for the readers to remember who Prince Verity is."

 "Why is there a hay bale in the corner of your--"

 "Prince Verity is Chivalry's younger brother and currently King-in-Waiting for the throne," the Fool says, lounging underneath the hay bale. "That makes Prince Regal next in line after Verity. Just so you know."

 "Right," Chade nods. "Fitz, your job from now on is to hang out with Verity in his Fortress of Solitude and do whatever he wants you to do."

 "I'm fourteen," Fitz says.

 "Don't argue with me, boy, I've got a wedding to plan. By the way, did you ever figure out who tried to kill Burrich?"

 Fitz shrugs. "I figured somebody tried to kill him because he's Burrich."

 "Ah yes, the age-old solution of 'things just happen, what the hell," Chade rolls his eyes. "Well, go on, shoo. Go bother Verity."

 Sighing, Fitz climbs thirty-nine flights of stairs to where Verity is sitting in his empty tower room and staring out the window. "Breakfast, your highness," Fitz announces.

 "Ew," Verity moans.

 "There's also a cup of tea with enough caffeine in it to kill some sort of very big gray trumpet animal," Fitz offers.

 "Yeah, okay, I'll take that."

 "So, uh," Fitz says, standing there awkwardly as Verity drinks an amount of stimulant that should make his heart explode, "watcha doin up here?"

 "Defending the kingdom."

 Fitz looks out the window at the ocean. He looks back at Verity. "Like... with a gun?"

 Verity smiles softly. "Oh, you're stupid. I like that in a person I'm going to use as a tool for the rest of my life."

 "I like you, too," Fitz says, tail wagging.

 "I'm using the Skill to confuse the Vikings so they won't raid our shit and turn our people into zombies," Verity explains. "I'd ask Galen's Skill students to help but they're pretty useless. Hey, didn't Galen teach YOU how to Skill?"

 "Oh, he tried but I'm bad at it, it's because I'm a basta-- HHHHGGGHHGHGHHGHHHHHH KEPPET.EXE HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO GHHHGH TROJAN DETECTED TAKE ACTION TO PREVENT GHHGGHHHH HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA CLICK HERE TO CHAT GHHGHGGGHHHHHH"

 "Huh," Verity says after thoroughly mentally assaulting Fitz without warning or permission. "Looks like someone used the Skill to convince you you were bad at Skilling. That’s just one of the many things the Skill can do that I will reveal to you whenever I feel like it, which will usually be AFTER you need to know.”

 "I think I need an adult," Fitz whimpers from the floor.

 Verity chuckles fondly. "I am an adult. Too bad I don't really have time to teach you to Skill properly. That probably won't come back to bite us. Run along now, stop crying. Oh, and see if Chade can get you to murder that gross noble two counties over."

 A few weeks later, at breakfast, Fitz tries to eat Coco Puffs as quietly as possible while Verity and Shrewd argue.

 "I don't WANT to get married," Verity says for the eighteenth time. "I've gotta keep sitting in the Martyr Tower and keeping Vikings from attacking us!"

 "Well guess what, bucko, I'm your father AND your king and if I say you're getting married then you fucking are!" Shrewd rage-butters a scone. "And I swear to Eda if you pull a Malicious Compliance like your older brother and marry the absolute worst candidate for queen you can find then I'll look the other way when YOU'RE assassinated too!"

 Fitz slowly reaches for the cereal box, eyes wide.

 "It'll be good for morale, Verity," Shrewd goes on. "Everybody'll be like, 'oh, if the Prince is getting married and pumping babies into some foreign woman then being murdered by Vikings really isn't that bad!'"

 "And who did Regal choose for me to be married to?" Verity asks.

 Shrewd looks at the smudged writing on his hand. "The Kraken," he announces.

 "You mean Kettricken?" Verity says. "The mountain princess? I'm like twice her age. And I don't have time to go to the mountains to grab her, Vikings will totally Vike you all while I'm gone!"

 "Well SOMEBODY'S gotta go up there and grab her," Shrewd insists.

 "Figure it out," Verity snaps as he storms out of the room. "And by the way, Fitz has been sitting there eating six bowls of sugar cereal because he has no adult supervision!"

 He slams the door.

 "Hi Grandpa Shrewd," Fitz says into the silence.

 "Hello, Lil Accident. Just so you know, Kettricken is only second in line to the mountain throne. First is her brother Rurisk, who took an arrow to the chest a couple years back and now is about to die from Being Poisoned to Get Him Out of the Way."

 "Yes Grandpa Shrewd.”

 Chade Spidermans down from the ceiling. "You're sending him and not me? Why?"

 "Plot reasons," Shrewd says, taking the cereal box away from Fitz.

 "Oh boy," Fitz says, jumping up. "I'm gonna go tell my friend the Fool!"

 The Fool's not in his room, but a bunch of other cool stuff is: every Lego set from 1973 onward, a bunch of those neon-colored ponchos from the 90's, Sudoku puzzles completed in ballpoint pen, and A BABY????

 Oh wait, that's a doll. Looks like a baby though. Weird.

 Next Fitz goes to visit Patience. Patience is sifting through an old jewelry box; she sits Fitz down so she can hold different things up to him and see how they look.

 "Hmm. No, too subtle... this one's too gaudy. Ah, yes, this one." Patience pulls out a black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "Yes, this is perfect. Put it on, Fitz."

 It's eventually decided that since Verity can't go to the mountains, Regal is going to be a stand-in at the wedding and then they'll have another wedding later when the Kraken comes down to Buckkeep. Fitz is loading up the horse-van for the journey when the Fool cartwheels up to him.

 "I have something for you," the Fool jingles.

 "I didn't go in your room and touch your doll or accidentally drop your seven thousand five hundred and forty one piece Millenium Falcon Lego set," Fitz blurts.

 "Take this Pepto Bismol," the Fool says, "and don't eat anything weird in the mountains."

 "Don't worry about me, Fool," Fitz laughs. "I'm sure nothing bad'll happen."

 Fitz goes on a road trip. August, Fitz's cousin and current member of the Skill Gang, is going with them to help Verity Skill-connect to the wedding when it's time. Hands the stableboy is also there, which is nice, because they're taking the I-5 to Jhaampe, the mountain capital, and there's not a lot to look at on the way. They travel through a lot of places that Fitz is just going to have to travel through again in two books while being chased by Regal, so all he really notices is that there's a shitton of grass, a bigass lake, and only one set of hot girls who want to give him and hands their first sexual experience (the girls' mom shows up and hits them with a sandal until they go home).

 The wedding party climbs into the foothills of the mountain kingdom, and there waiting for them are... the Vikings?

 Okay, so the group of seafaring raiders that I've been referring to as "The Vikings" are culturally sort of more like Mongol raiders. It's not really a one-to-one comparison but the important point here is that the mountain people are what we in the real world would typically imagine Vikings to be, except that here in the Six Duchies the Vikings are the Vikings and the mountain people only LOOK like Vikings, Fitz is Simba, Regal is Scar and I think the Fool is Horatio.

 Are we clear? Alright moving on.

 Fitz and co. are greeted by a welcoming party of mountain people, who are tall and pale and blond. They're super friendly and cheerful, singing the Songs of Their People and totally confusing Hands, who doesn't speak Mountain. Fitz doesn't speak Mountain either, probably. Maybe.

 They arrive in Jhaampe, where the buildings look like if you cut off the tops of the towers in Red Square or planted a bunch of turnips upside down. A second welcoming party pops up, and when August and his cronies complain that their feet are tired and they don't feel like walking anymore, the mountain peeps carry them into the city on planks. Fitz is extremely embarrassed by this and is trying not to cringe all the way down into his tights.

 To seem less like a lazy dick who makes strangers carry him places for no reason, Fitz strikes up a conversation with one of the old ladies carrying his plank. Her name is Jonqui and she knows a lot about the city, and slows the plank down so she can point out interesting landmarks and gardens.

 "Pull-Out Fail speaks good Mountain," she remarks, grinning. "Maybe he learned as a tadpole?"

 "I'm just super good with languages I probably grew up speaking," Fitz shrugs.

 They arrive at the biggest turnip, which serves as Jhaampe's royal palace. Jonqui escorts Fitz inside and he finds that it's not really a palace, it's more like a tent made out of a tree, with a lot of open space in the middle, and there's not a whole lot of private spaces that he might use to murder their prince.

 Whatever, he'll figure it out.

 "Come, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says, herding Fitz to a center stage. "We will watch our Shift Manager present his Shift Manager to be your Shift Manager."

 "Shift Manager?"

 "Yes, that is what we call our royalty. When someone comes to demand to speak to the person in charge, the Shift Manager is the one we have chosen to throw under the bus," Jonqui explains. "It is a very important duty."

 Besides King Eyod, who is an old person, there are two random mountain folk in white dresses. Fitz eyeballs them and wonders where the rest of the royal family is. "The girl one," Jonqui says, elbowing Fitz, "she is my niece."

 "Neat," Fitz yawns, still looking around for someone wearing a crown. "That other guy looks like He-Man."

 "Yes, he is my nephew."

 Gifts are exchanged.

 "This isn't going to be like that one scene in Midsommar, is it?" Fitz asks warily. "You're not going to like, set these people on fire?"

 "This," King Eyod announces, taking He-Man by the shoulder, "is my son, Shift Manager Rurisk, first in line to the throne of the mountain kingdom. And here is Shift Manager Kettricken, who shall marry the Shift Manager of the Six Duchies and become their General Manager, She Who Sets the Schedule."

 There is general oohing and ahhing and applause. Fitz realizes he's been chatting boredly with the King's sister this entire time. Why hadn't Regal sent any kind of message to the wedding party ahead of time to warn them that the mountain people liked to play Undercover Boss? No, Regal had just texted to remind them to bring his Gucci underwear, the dick.

 Jonqui drags Fitz over to meet Kettricken and Rurisk. "Kids, this is Pull-Out Fail Farseer," she says. "Now you go run along and play, and be back when the streetlights come on."

 "Yes, in our language we call him 'The Bastard' because he sucks," August chimes in helpfully. Rurisk glares at him.

 "Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says. "I knew your father. And I spoke with him, on the day that he'd learned that he'd knocked up one of our people. He was a good man."

 "This joke is getting kind of old," Fitz says. "Listen, my name is Fitzchivalry--"

 "Oh, Fitzchivalry Farseer?" Kettricken brightens. "You poison people, right? Regal told me all about you and how you run around with Lady Thyme murdering people in the Six Duchies. It's so good to finally meet you!"

 "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Fitz replies articulately.

 "Come on," Kettricken says excitedly, "let's go to the herb garden. I heard you like herbs."

 On the way out to the herb garden, Fitz forgets that Kettricken knows he's an assassin and notices she has boobs, because he's fourteen. Together they get enthused about plants and shit, and they take a stroll around the herbs.

 "Taste this one, it's really weird," Kettricken says. "... What's that thudding noise? With a jingle? It sounds like someone's court jester is banging their head against a wall."

 "I hear that a lot," Fitz shrugs. "I usually just ignore it. You said to eat this plant I've never heard of? Mm, spicy!"

 "So," Kettricken asks as she stops a speeding train with one muscular arm, "what's my future husband like? Shift Manager Regal told me that he's really old and nasty and that he just sits in a recliner watching Fox News all day."

 "He's thirty two," Fitz tells her, mentally adding a dick to the big ol' bag that he wishes Regal would eat. "Verity is super nice, and funny, and he has fun hobbies and he likes animals. He's really handsome, too, he has gorgeous black hair and shining eyes and big broad shoulders and a really nice ass--"

 "So Shift Manager Regal lied to me." Kettricken frowns, biting her lip. "Does he lie about a lot of things?"

 "They hang people in my country for having an opinion on that," Fitz says.

 "Regal was six Jagerbombs deep one night and told me all about how you loved sneaking around and killing people," Kettricken confesses. "He said that if you showed up with the wedding party, it meant that you were here to poison my brother to get him out of the way and make me the heir to the mountains."

 "What haha that's weird what a weird thing to say haha," Fitz stammers, foaming at the mouth.

 Rurisk and Jonqui come running down the path to fetch Kettricken, telling her that there's a thing at the thing she has to do, remember that thing? And Fitz smiles and waves bye to them and then walks happily back to his room in the tree-palace and starts frantically digging through his stuff for the Pepto Bismol the Fool gave him.

 Rurisk bursts into the room at five the next morning, waving a bottle of Mountain Bismol. "Pull-Out Fail, are you still alive?!"

 "I wish I wasn't," Fitz moans, face pressed against the rug. "Get away from me with that."

 "He's not dead, no thanks to you," Rurisk says, glaring at Kettricken as she peeks into the doorway wearing footie pajamas. "Go get us some breakfast, and don't fucking poison it!"

 Fitz tries to stand up and faceplants on the bed. "Stop making the floor move."

 "Someone told Kettricken you were here to kill me," Rurisk explains. "I told her not to worry about it, but she thought it'd be a good idea to trick you into eating what we call Fentanyl Flowers and then not tell me about it until fifteen minutes ago."

 Kettricken comes back into the room with donuts and coffee. Rurisk breaks a donut into three pieces, giving each of them a piece. "And if this is poisoned, you've killed us all," he warns.

 "Oh my god, that was one time," Kettricken whines.

 "Listen, Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says earnestly. "My little dinky mountain kingdom needs the space for farmland down on your big prairies. We need cool stuff from the town that the Liveship Traders books take place in. We need a beach for our college students to go to on Spring Break. So I'm willing to give you ethically sourced furs, good lumber for warships, and my hot little sister as trade."

 Fitz pauses with a donut halfway to his mouth. "What do you mean, 'ethically sourced furs'?"

 "We shave bears. It's not important right now. What is important is that you don't have to kill me to get me out of the way, because I'm on YOUR side. Do you get me?"

 "I get you," Fitz nods.

 "Good. Now I'm going the fuck back to bed. Kettricken, don't poison anybody on the way back to your room."

 "If you don't stop I'm gonna tell DAD--"

 Fitz lays back on the bed. He closes his eyes and wonders if communism should be a thing. Then he thinks, no, having a monarchy is definitely a good idea. What could go wrong with having a ruling class of divine-right royalty who are constantly murdering each other for the throne? And surely there's no drawback to having a Prince that's an evil little shit who commits crimes against humanity with no fear of punishment or reprisal.

 Yeah. Kings are the best.

 The next day Rurisk invites Fitz out to the dog kennels. Fitz loves dogs! Then they turn a corner to find a very old hound dog whose jowls, ears, belly and tail are all dragging on the ground as he waddles up to them, and the music swells as Fitz cries "Nosy!!" and kneels down to hug him.

 "That's my loyal old hound dog," Rurisk says. "Burrich the stablemaster sent him to me in a little basket with a bow on it years ago."

 "I had a socially unnacceptable soul-bond with this dog," Fitz explains.

 "Gross," Rurisk smiles. "Anyway, I gotta go do Prince stuff. Smell you later."

 Fitz immediately goes to find Burrich, who is in the Big Turnip presenting a horse to Kettricken as a wedding present. Cob--

 Wait, there's a note here. It says, "Cob is the stable boy that Fitz and Nosy met when they first came to Buckkeep." There's a piece of straw taped to it.

 Cob is there too, and he makes sure to give Fitz the middle finger as he approaches.

 "Burrich, I need to talk to you," Fitz says. "I just found out you didn't kill Nosy when I was little."

 Burrich stops what he's doing and turns slowly to stare at him. "I'm sorry, you thought I killed a puppy? Jesus, no wonder you were so twitchy as a kid."

 "But you didn't kill a puppy," Fitz says. "And we can still be friends."

 "You thought I was a monster who would [BUILD A ROCKET SHIP SO THAT AN ANIMAL COULD RETURN TO ITS HOME PLANET] if I'd found out you'd bonded with it, but you turned around and bonded with another fucking puppy," Burrich growls. "Which I told you is nasty, so no, we can't be friends."

 Fitz drags himself sadly back to the Big Turnip.

 That night, Fitz is getting ready for bed when Regal's servant turns up at his door. "Hey fuckwad, Prince Regal wants to talk to you," he says, and drags Fitz by the wrist up to Regal's royal Regal room.

 Regal is chilling in his chambers doing epic bong rips out of the skull of a dead orphan, like not a dirty street urchin, but specifically an adorable little ragamuffin with soot on their little tophat that flew off comically when Regal took them out from five hundred yards away with a sniper rifle. "What's up, DICKchivalry," he sneers, then high-fives one of his minions.

 "Hi," Fitz says, forcing a smile.

 "Have you gotten around to murdering Prince Rurisk yet?" Regal coughs.

 "Uh."

 "Uh," Regal says mockingly. "God, you're stupid. Isn't he stupid, minion who has no business hearing any of this?"

 "Absolutely idiotic, my Prince."

 "Prince Rurisk said he's on our side," Fitz says, "and that he wants us to have the lumber we need and his sister and everything. I figured maybe it'd be better to like, not kill him."

 "Alright, since you're too dumb to plan an assassination, I'll figure it out for you," Regal says as his minion loads another bowl. "I want him graveyard dead before the wedding so he doesn't stand next to me and make me look short. Now fuck off."

 Fitz fucks off with many a backward glance, wondering what the fuck he's supposed to do now. There's no signal in the mountains so he can't send a message to Chade or King Shrewd to tell him that Rurisk is cool actually, and even though Regal sucks, like, REALLY sucks, he IS a Prince and Fitz is a tool of the Crown so he does technically have to follow orders.

 What the fuck is Regal's problem? Fitz thinks while brushing his teeth the next morning. Why did he tell Kettricken that I'm an assassin? Why does he want Rurisk dead so bad when Ru-Dawg is on our side? Gosh, I wish I could talk to Chade or Verity or Grandpa Shrewd or literally anyone, but they're so far away, and--

 Oh right, the Skill.

 "AUGUST," Fitz pants, sneakers squeaking as he skids to a halt in front of his cousin. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Look: do you see this silver pin, with the ruby in it? King Shrewd gave this to me when I was nine and sitting under a table eating leftover pies. The Fool and Regal were there too, and there were some puppies, and King Shrewd knelt down and gave me the pin and told me that if I ever needed to talk to him, I could just show this pin at his door and he'd let me talk to him, no matter what, and there's something really important going on so I need you to send a Skill message to him right now."

 August looks at him for a minute. "No," he says finally, and turns to leave.

 Fitz grabs his sleeve. "August you HAVE to let me talk to Shrewd, there are LIVES at stake!"

 "Okay fine, jeez," August says, shaking him off. "I'll get Shrewd on the line."

 "Great! Great. Okay. Tell him, uh." Fitz takes a deep breath. "Tell him Prince Rurisk is doing great and I don't think we should kill hi-- uhhhhhhhhh, I mean GIVE him the PRESENT that we were going to POISON him with."

 "You're such a fucking spaz," August mutters, closing his eyes to make a Skill Call. Then he shrugs. "It went straight to voicemail."

 "Redial," Fitz says desperately.

 "No, I've got important cousin shit to do, including telling Regal that you just tried to get me to dial long distance to talk to the King." August walks across the palace to talk to Regal, but the Prince is high as fuck and doesn't care.

 Fitz leans against the wall and makes a thinky face. "Maybe I could kill Regal," he says for what will be the first of several hundred times. "Eh, probably not worth it."

 That night, Regal's minion gives Fitz a little secret packet of horrible deadly poison. "Regal gave me this to give to you to give to Prince Rurisk," he says. "Put it in his drink and make it look like an accident."

 "Did King Shrewd send me here as some kind of complicated political maneuver where I would kill Rurisk and then be publicly hanged for murder so no one would find out that we killed Rurisk for political gain?" Fitz asks.

 "Take the fucking accident powder," the minion snaps.

 Fitz walks through the Big Onion to Kettricken's door, where he knocks and tells her that he's going to kill her brother. Then he goes to Rurisk's room, with Kettricken following behind. He sits down at Rurisk's table and dumps the accident powder into a glass of wine while Rurisk watches. Then they both drink from a different glass.

 "Kind of sucks that Shift Manager Regal told everyone you're an assassin, Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says. "You wanna hang out here in the mountain kingdom so you don't end up at the bottom of a lake with your feet encased in concrete?"

 "Maybe," Fitz says. "I think somebody's supposed to catch me in the act of killing you just now, will you let them in?"

 Cob bursts in the door. "Caught you red handed poisoning the Prin-- OH FUCK KETTRICKEN YOU DIDN'T DRINK THAT WINE DID YOU??"

 "No, why?"

 Rurisk falls over dead.

 "Wait, why is he dead, we both drank from the same gl-- wow, I do NOT feel so great," Fitz says, foaming at the mouth again.

 Cob grabs him. "I sent Smithy to space," he grins.

 "Yeah, well I have a poisoned knife," Fitz replies, stabbing him with it.

 "Sweet mountain Jesus, someone stop him, he's killing everyone!" Kettricken yells, then realizes she's holding a heavy metal object and beans Fitz in the head with it.

 Fitz wakes up in the stables outside the Big Onion with Regal already monologuing over him. "I wanted you dead because you and Lady Thyme poisoned my mother!"

 "Queen Desire, Shrewd's second queen who died at some point in this book but Fitz literally cared so little that he didn't even mention it," says a nearby hay bale.

 "Thank you, hay bale," Regal says. "You thought I didn't know you poisoned her, but I DID know! I also know that you were using Burrich to Skill, but as soon as I had Cob stab him you were forced to stop. I knew ALL of these things!"

 "Glag," Fitz says, concussed. Then he closes his eyes, and suddenly he can Skill.

 "Hi, Prince Regal," Galen the Skillmaster says. "Are you ready for me to Skill-Kill Prince Verity during the wedding so you can marry Kettricken and be King-in-Waiting?"

 "Ugh, but she looks like a Soviet Union propaganda poster," Regal moans.

 "Suck it up," Galen says, hitting 'end call.'

 Fitz is still laying on his face in the stables. Nosy noses in and ambles over to drool on him, then bites through the ropes Fitz is tied up with. Burrich shows up next.

 "You have the Wit," Fitz tries to say, but he's still suffering poison damage and the 'hit in the head' debuff, so it comes out as "Glaggaglah."

 "I'm in the closet," Burrich says. "Did King Shrewd turn you into a baby assassin?"

 "Glag," Fitz confirms sadly.

 Burrich looks back at him, then does a double-take. "Where the fuck did you get that collar that says 'DADDY' on it?" he demands.

 "Patience glave it to me."

 "I cannot fucking believe this," Burrich mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's the collar that I gave to your dad."

 Fitz looks at him.

 "You gave it to Prince Chivalry when he found out about me," Fitz says. "That's why it says 'DADDY,' because that's when he found out he was a father."

 "Sure, we'll go with that," Burrich says queerly.

 Jonqui, King Eyod's sister, clips through the wall while T-posing. "Come back to the Big Onion," she says. "Kettricken has forgiven you for poisoning her brother. Which I know you didn't do."

 They drag Fitz back to his rooms at the Big Onion. While Fitz is trying to remember how to drink water, August shows up at the door. "Verity called," he says boredly. "He said, uh, be loyal to who's loyal to you, or something. Also all of Regal's servants died mysteriously and he wants you to go to the hot springs to help him bathe."

 "I do not want to see Regal naked," Fi tz protests, but goes anyway.

 Regal's sitting in a hot tub drinking an evil martini when Fitz and Burrich arrive. "Ah, there you are," Regal says. "Hulking Manservant, bang Burrich over the head."

 Burrich goes down. Fitz yells timber. Regal drags Fitz over to another hot tub, ignoring the sign that says 'WARNING: DO NOT USE THIS HOT TUB IF YOU HAVE BEEN RECENTLY BETRAYED BY YOUR EVIL UNCLE' and throws him in.

 "And that's that," Regal says happily, dusting off his hands, and leaves.

 Fitz, flailing around in the water being hot tubbed to death, can suddenly Skill (again). This is great! He Skills joyously. Skilling is rad! I'm gonna call everyone! Hey Verity! VERITY! ... Verity?

 "Dearly Beloved..."

 The Fool looks up from his Adult Coloring Book. "Hm?"

 "We are gathered here today to join these two second bananas in holy matrimony. Do you, Prince Verity..."

 Verity! Fitz Skill-yells. Look out!! Skillmaster Galen is standing behind you about to pull a Skill Dracula on you and suck out all your, uh, Skill! That's a thing that can happen apparently!

 I am actually Queen Desire's bastard son and Prince Regal's half brother! Galen Skills evilly. I'm pretty sure there's no member of the Farseer reign that HASN'T either sired or given birth to a bastard! Like seriously, as a family we legit just cannot keep our pants on. ANYWAY! I have been conspiring to kill Verity and put Regal on the thro-- oh okay apparently you can just straight kill someone with the Skill too, who knew.

 Galen collapses, Skill-dead.

 AUGUST, Verity Skill-megaphones into August the Skill-cousin's ear. PUT THE KRAKEN ON THE LINE SO I CAN TELL HER IT WASN'T ME WHO PLOTTED TO KILL PRINCE RURISK. AND ALSO THAT I RESPECT HER AS A PERSON AND WILL GREET HER WHEN SHE ARRIVES AT BUCKKEEP WITH A FIRM HANDSHAKE AND A MANLY NOD.

 August's head explodes.

 ~epilogue~

 Fitz and Burrich are later found in a wet, unconscious pile in the steams. Fitz has puncture marks in his wrist from where Nosy pulled him out of his hot tub tomb before climbing into his rocketship and flying back to his home planet.

 Though neither of them are dead, Burrich has conveniently forgotten that Fitz is a baby assassin, and Fitz probably can't be a baby assassin anymore because he has about thirty seizures a day due to being poisoned and then poisoned again and then blugeoned and kicked and drowned all in the space of like thirty minutes.

 They spend a long time recovering in Jhaampe, even after Kettricken and Regal (remember him? he's still alive) go down to Buckkeep. Burrich tells Fitz that they're friends again and that he'll go wherever Fitz goes because he's wearing the 'DADDY' collar. Fitz says, "Because you... view me as a parental figure? I guess?"

 Burrich replies, "Sure. We'll go with that." NEXT TIME, ON DRAGON BOOK Z: Fitz has his Hot Girl Summer, immediately followed by his Shit’s Wack Winter, in ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED! 

[mossymandibles]

So I absolutely love your world building and neat as hell monster characters (Kraws design is just peak character design oh my lord)

And after scouring your entire blog to learn as much as I could, there's still so much I wanna know! How did Kraw come to adopt Gen? What happened to her eye? (I'm not sure if you've already explained what happened? Maybe I missed that detail)

Oh man, thanks! Glad to hear you like the dragon dad. And I’m sorry, I feel like my blog is very vague and unorganized as far as world building stuff goes, compared to others. Plus there’s a lot of outdated old art/storyline stuff that I’ve changed is still on here 😅 But happy to hear you enjoy it!

I have answered a similar ask about Kraw and Gen here. But lucky for you! I love to over explain things and I feel like I want to give a little more insight to Gen’s situation this time because I don’t think it’s spoiling anything too much. I honestly don’t know when I’ll get around to making little comics like I’ve wanted to in order show how she came about.

Gen has only told Kraw that she is from a city called the Fever. She remembers her friends from the city and that the Ladder was coming for them. She remembers falling into the ocean and seeing the giant eye. She couldn’t remember how she got aboard his ship, or how long she had been adrift at sea before then.

She wakes up in Sylvaine’s infirmary, where Kraw takes her after he finds her on his ship. Kraw distinctively remembers getting chills when he sees Genevieve again after Sylvaine nurses her back to health. He felt he was looking a completely different child in the eyes. She gets upset and doesn’t like to be pressed further or asked more questions on the matter, so Kraw slowly gives up, only knowing that she comes from the Ladder’s main facility. Most people of Marrowtide Isles like to avoid anything having to do with the Ladder if they can. He only hopes that it doesn’t mean that they’ll come looking for her.

She inherited her mug by unwittingly stealing/absorbing the most important energy source to the Ladder. She got away with some slight hemorrhaging, an occasional voice in her head and a strange growth on her face that Sylvaine classifies as ‘fungal’; an understatement to give Kraw peace of mind perhaps. Besides appearing to have a way with beasts, it gave her some other far more ghastly abilities, a few that only Kraw has been privy to seeing and seems keen on keeping a secret or even downright ignoring for the time being.

After some failed attempts to get rid of her (a dreadful incident with an orphanage and pissing Sylvaine off once or twice) she seemed to keep finding her way back to Kraw. Despite his initial reluctance and a possible fear of her, he found her endearing in some ways.

He notices that she seems to have a keen eye for math and helps him with heftier reading since he’s mostly illiterate. She also has way better people/negotiating skills when helping run the shop he has on the side when fishing season is slow. She didn’t seem to have anyone else and had latched onto him quite tightly, so he grew used to the idea of taking care of her. It surprises most people but Kraw is actually pretty good with kids. He’s just never raised his own until now. The absolute child-like disregard she seems to have for the detriment she could cause just makes her all the more interesting to him in a sense. Maybe he feels a child like that needs someone to look after them so they don’t end up causing world-ending chaos? If he can make her happy before whatever unknown future comes for her then he’ll feel he has a purpose for once that isn’t for profit or hurting others. However, raising a whole ass kid who has already been through life’s ringer isn’t as easy as he thought it’d be of course. Lol. Lmao.

[greatwesternway]

What kind of personalities do the destroyers have? We already know Pope is emo…

Been busy preparing for the movers to come so I hope you don't mind if I just dug up some chatlogs rather than write an essay. A lot of this is involves the non-canon event in which the capturing party attends U-505's dedication ceremony in 1954, but the point is the interpersonal stuff is still true whether the events illustrating them happen or not.

Ray: Yeah all the little ships were destroyer escorts, no specialty skills among them. Although Pillsbury was later refitted into a radar picket and used to detect incoming enemy aircraft in the Pacific theatre of the war. Pope continued to serve with Guadalcanal and actually sunk another U-boat before the war ended.

During the U-505 hunt, Flaherty screened for Guadalcanal which meant she was a defensive presence rather than an offensive one.

DJ: Maybe she's the one who knows German and is wary of getting too sympathetic to U-505 and Jenks (as one of the two ships tasked with rescuing survivors) just agrees with her.

---

DJ: Maybe Jenks is still the one who's like, "okay, you need to leave that submarine alone" about it. Flaherty isn't comfortable being called over so often to translate, but she doesn't push back on it because she doesn't want to let on that she worries she could be compromised this way. She's acting in a purely defensive capacity on this mission; she should be defensive! Jenks already is sympathizing with U-505 on how weird Guadalcanal is making it and that's quite close enough for his liking. But Guadalcanal does not explain what he's looking for with his questions and statements to either of them because they are both still destroyer escorts. Doesn't think they'll get the value in his approach since they're always so worried about him.

Ray: Aw! Jenks looking out for Flaherty too.

DJ: He is but he's also not making it about that 'cause, you know, they're war machines. Doesn't want to undermine her by making it about her concerns. Especially since he's got the same ones. Instead makes it about Guadalcanal's behavior being questionable. And ironically that treating U-505 this kindly is actually more demeaning than treating him like the POW he is.

Ray: Guadalcanal like "Why does no one here trust me to do my job?" 

Can Do is doing the Gallery thing like, "This hasn't happened in over 100 years! A little breach in protocol isn't just to be expected, it's practically required! But he doesn't have to explain that to them because they're but wee.

Like he's taking the long view, it's about the submarine but it's also what's going to happen to the submarine in future, and if they're all on the same page about it no one has to go to the bottom of the ocean before time.

DJ: It's hard to look at the long view when you're a war machine. You might only have today! Flaherty is also the only one besides Guadalcanal who understands that being preserved at the MSI is not a reward.

Ray: Yes. Pope probably does too but I feel like he is staying the hell away from all'a this discourse. It's Jenks and Chatelain and maybe Pillsbury if they can talk her into siding with them, but she hardly counts because she's not going to even approach questioning his authority. She's like, "I feel like he's just doing what he thinks is best!" and doesn't know what that is. She would like it if everyone would stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. This is plane behavior, and she would know.

---

Ray: Chatelain wants to do makeover night and Pillsbury and Flaherty are like "no ❤️"

DJ: Chatelain desperately wishes they'd permit red lipstick on the uniform.

Ray: She would look so good in it, but alas it is not regulation and Guadalcanal will reprimand her for it.

DJ: He lets her get away with a little eyeliner. Men can't tell when women are wearing makeup unless its red lipstick anyway. As long as it's not egregious, he lets these little boats get away with a lot. It's their own fault if so many of them are so by-the-book.

Ray: Yeah, he's a softie <3 He likes his little boats, best escort he's had.

---

Guadalcanal: Is that hair ribbon regulation? 🤔

Flaherty: No. 😌

Guadalcanal: Right, carry on.

---

DJ: At the MSI, U-505 speaks to Flaherty specifically. They ask her what he says. "He says he would like to thank you, Guadalcanal, for your kindness and hospitality during his capture." And Guadalcanal starts gettin' an "What'd I tell you?" face about it so U-505 says something more, that actually makes Flaherty almost laugh. "And he wishes to thank the rest of us for trying to stop you." Everybody laughs and Guadalcanal rather regrets that U-505 doesn't speak English because it sounds like he might be funny.

Ray: God, they're so cute.

DJ: Flaherty thinking she was absolutely right to be concerned about being too friendly with him. But now it's 1954 so it doesn't matter if they laugh about it.

Ray: Flaherty knows that he's entirely too charming by half. She's glad to be the one doing the translating actually, because it means she can control (to a degree) what Guadalcanal hears. It didn't help but y'know.

DJ: Like a redaction office blacking out his mail. Most of U-505's sarcastic little barbs didn't make it to Guadalcanal in their original state because she knew he'd just be encouraged and more intent if he thought U-505 was playing with them. He wasn't very charming at the time, but much as she (and Jenks) hate to agree with an enemy, she thought he was right to be standoffish. Would have preferred that she could too.

Ray: Aw, I just thought about Pillsbury being there and playing with the planes.

DJ: Oh! Yeah, the little planes probably like Pillsbury a lot. You can play rough with her.

Ray: Yeah! And she's very complimentary of Spitfire because she doesn't have a lot of experience with British planes. She thinks he's very cute (and he is!).

DJ: She's nice and solid too, not like Jenny and Texaco. You can barrel right into her and bounce right off.

Ray: Stuka likes her well enough until she elbow drops him and he pops back up with little hearts circling around his head. "I didn't forget about you ❤️ bonk" and she says it with the sweetest look on her face. It's easy to underestimate her because she looks kind of dopey but she knocks them both down like it's nothing. And she knows plane stuff! Very exciting visit for them.

DJ: Yeah, Stuka's already excited because this big U-boat is here and he thinks he's gonna have a new friend (which is not really how it goes, but) and a bunch of boats came to see this guy too and this one is really fun and wants to play with them AND she can play with them. Good day for the little warplanes!

Ray: All the Task Group members keep jokingly asking if the MSI is accepting any more boats.

DJ: lol, I wonder if they have the boat exhibit by then. I think they might have. But they are all too big. Those are model boats.

Ray: And the boats don't actually want to be preserved anyway, but it's a cute jab at the ones that seem to be having a lot of fun here. I think most of them probably did not know what to expect. But coming here… it's nice! Not too nice, because the submarine doesn't deserve that, but it's nicer than they expected.

God, I wish 727 were there. She'd love this.

DJ: They don't really care about whether his conditions are too good for him or not. It's more just that if anyone is going to be set up as a monument to lost American seamen, it should probably be one of them and not a boat that was responsible for some of those lost seamen. If any of them had been offered the job, they'd be happy to take it. It's more service.

But Guadalcanal and Flaherty are the ones that have to point out that the job would only be like that for them, since they won. For U-505, he's being made a permanent trophy. When you recognize that, he's taking it like a real champ. Being very gracious about it, especially since he thought he was this 🤏close to finally being dismissed.

Ray: Guadalcanal gets to point out that any boat that served in the war could be a monument to the lost seamen, but the fact that it's an enemy ship is a testament to their specific prowess. It's a flex, one they got to play a part in. That his exhibit will bear their names for all time is its own kind of preservation.

DJ: Yeah, if it's basically a thing of, if you're indignant that U-505's getting put up at a museum and not one of us, know that he's probably not that happy about it either no matter how well he seems to be taking to it (and I mean, if anyone has practice being a gracious loser, it's U-505). And he's gonna spend the rest of forever being a gracious loser so if you're still holding onto old wartime feelings about it, you can go to the scrapyard knowing that. Covers everyone's various feelings and shuts them up about it.

[hmshermitcraft]

(For the theme)

xB has lived his whole life in the tank, seeing no one but those damned 'customers' of the auctions, he's only been bought once, but he was sent back as he was "not what they were looking for." He has heard of other mers escaping, leaving this horrid place behind for larger bodies of water, he's heard of the ocean, of lakes, of rivers, but he's never actually seen them. This auction feels different though, to be honest he's a bit scared. Is he going to be bought? Is it going to be like those horror stories of mers being bought, only to be chopped up for food? He's stuck in his mind before all hell breaks loose, through the yelling he thinks he hears something about a protection agency? There's someone looking at him from the top of his tank, someone with big eyes and a large grin, he's confused, he's scared, everything has fallen into chaos, but those eyes are so captivating, he can't look away.

-C

It takes... Some time for xB to accept he's not simply been bought. He's moved to a bigger tank. It's bigger than any he's been in before, and has spaces made of large rocks that he can use to hide away in.

People examine him often. They tell him what they're doing, even though he never replies. He always gets something nice to eat afterwards. He's not sure why. That big eyed human is there often. xB sees him nearly everyday. Sometimes, he's the only reason xB will poke out the shelter of his rocks.

They talk a lot about rehabilitation, which is something xB's never heard his previous owner mention. Language skills, tail strength, socialisation... Honestly, if there's this much wrong with him, xB doesn't know why they haven't just sent him back!

One day, whilst he's dozing at the bottom of the tank, he finds that human staring at him again. xB tilts his head, quietly swimming out to meet him. The human speaks to him, calling himself Keralis. He seems sympathetic, and for the first time... Somebody explains everything to him. Keralis says he's safe, and that they're trying to make him ready to live in the ocean.

xB works harder after that. He does the exercises they ask him to, he tries to pay attention to the language they teach him. The first time they take him outside, to a large lake, xB might cry. It's still contained, but he has more room to swim around than he ever has before! And Keralis is there, running around the lake with him. xB, for the first time in... A long time, finds himself laughing. He's having fun.

Keralis helps him a lot. He's often there to chat, or mess around. xB feels like he can actually let go around Keralis. Even when they introduce him to other mers, Keralis is the one he feels closest with. He's the first person xB talks to as he struggles with making words, but he never judges him for it.

It's why, when it comes to the day they plan to release xB into the ocean he... Doesn't want to go. He's always wanted to see the ocean, it's been a dream of his. But without Keralis there... Is it really worth it?

So, quietly, he expresses that to Keralis. And Keralis tries to convince him that they'll be other mers out there to meet, people xB can befriend but... That wouldn't stop xB missing Keralis. They eventually reach a compromise. Keralis will transfer to one of the boat crews, and that way they can see each other.

The arrangement is perfect. xB is excited as the boat roars into the open water. There's so much of it. Water as far as he can see, more than he's ever seen. He catches Keralis looking at him, smiling. xB reaches his hand out the tank to hold his.

When xB finally dives into the sea, he doesn't think he's ever been happier.

Nowadays, xB follows around Keralis's research vessel. Keralis calls him a research assistant, and xB doesn't think he's joking. He can get a lot of information they're not able to! He's got a big tank on the ship so he can hang out and talk to Keralis. He helps monitor pollution and living conditions of the water, as well as talking to mers about their happiness or any threats.

xB's heard a bit about marriage from other mers. One day he wants to ask Keralis, but he's still a bit too nervous to do it yet.

[fallstreakfeathers]

(Info needs updated!)

Name:

 Charlotte Lee Ainsley (later, Ainsley-Kanda)

Nicknames:

“Charlie”(most people), ‘the Silver Phoenix’ (because her glaive is silver, and she sometimes appears to rise from fire like the phoenix does), “gift from the sea” (Akihiko only!!), “brat”, “devil/demon” (derogatory), ‘foreigner/outlander’, 'pretty/little demon killer' (Urogi)

Ethnicity:

Irish/European-American

Age: 

Physical Age: 24

Personality:

Strong-willed, childish, fancies herself a comedian, a bit of a brat. Snarky. Quick to forgive, and rarely means ill towards anyone. Gets attached to people easily- even those she really shouldn’t! A bit of a dumbass. Will say offensive/out of pocket things when the opportunity arises because it is funny.

Though she tries, she never really seems to be able to fit in with Japanese society. She always feels a bit outcast, even among friends.

Low physical self-esteem, because people tend to call her unattractive or think she’s dirty because of her freckles. Always scrubs herself real hard in the bath, hoping one day they’ll disappear.

Relies on her heart, except in battle where she thinks logically and quickly, and has a strong sense of honor taught by Akihiko. Would never attack an opponent’s back or betray an ally.

Shockingly wise at times.

Frequently cooks her friends' favorite meals.

Was a hell-raiser when brought to the Corps before she settled in.

She’s a guardian at heart, and won’t ever hesitate to help someone in need, even those who are prejudiced towards her.

History:

A foreigner from North America, Charlotte arrived in Japan at 13 years old purely by misfortune.

In a bout of mischief, she became a stowaway on a cargo ship and unintentionally fell asleep. Hours later, she found herself alone in the middle of the ocean with nobody except the crew that she continued to hide from in fear.

When she was eventually discovered, the ship was too far out to return to port.

A freak storm blew the ship far off course, before an underwater demon attacked, sinking the ship and leaving Charlotte floating on the wreckage only because the sun had begun to shine through the waters.

Shortly after surviving the shipwreck, she is attacked yet again by another yokai whilst stranded on the mainland. She is saved by Akihiko Kanda, the demon who eats demons. While she initially was very frightened by him, and even raised a makeshift weapon in defense, she quickly came to like the man.

Akihiko takes young Charlie under his wing, stating that “if she’s going to do stupid things, she may as well know how to defend herself properly.”

This set her on the path of becoming a strong warrior, though she used two makeshift spears (sticks, really, with broken nichirin blades attached to the ends).

She eventually comes to befriend two yokai who further her abilities- a kappa under the command of Akihiko, who teaches her how to slip around land as easily as in water, and an old Inugami who imparts various knowledge and wisdoms to her.

Several years in the future, but before the canon storyline, Akihiko and Charlie are found by members of the Demon Slayer Corp. Akihiko flees, unwilling to kill humans, and he leaves Charlie in their care.

Charlie is brought, against her will, to the Butterfly Mansion where she is interrogated as a potential spy for Muzan. She fights ferally to attempt an escape but is ultimately captured again.

Sanemi, who wants to simply kill her, is stopped by Giyu who offers Charlie a choice: spar with him, and if Charlie wins then she can go. If Giyu wins, then Charlie must join the corps.

After a fierce battle, where Charlie’s initial skill is clear, she is defeated by the Water Hashira, who then helps her to her feet (both earning her respect and friendship).

Charlotte has frequent interactions with most Hashira due to her unique circumstances but is not anyone's Tsuguko. 

Rank:

Charlie was assigned Kanoto rank shortly after her acceptance into the corps, along with special permission to skip Final Selection due to her circumstances, as she had proven her ability to survive and had slain several demons already.

This, however, means that some slayers in the corps don’t consider Charlie a true member…

Breath Style: Oil Breathing

Originally mistaken as an offset of Water Breathing before it was quickly discovered as a breath derived from Flame.

Charlotte Ainsley-Kanda is its creator, having seen a man using Flame breathing to kill a demon at a young age. She had difficulty replicating Flame breathing itself and created a new style.

Oil breathing can be used with a standard Nichirin Katana, but was created with Charlie’s two glaives in mind and therefore is best suited to a polearm, or two weapons.

Oil Breathing is a dance filled with not only movement, but power. It requires a lithe, flexible user to be able to reach its full potential.

Users of Oil Breathing can largely benefit from learning swordsmanship from Water Breathing users.

Charlie also is adept with a slingshot and will use it to fling wisteria-filled smoke bombs across the battlefield.

Hobbies:

Bird-watching

Cooking

Collects trophies from demons she slays, as a memorial more than anything else. Akihiko thinks this habit is barbaric and frequently chides her for it.

Often plays the shinobue flute Akihiko gifted her years ago.

Irritating Sanemi

Can frequently be seen dancing in her spare time. If she sees a close friend, they might be dragged into it. She’s made Giyu dance with her several times, in private for his sake.

Mitsuri is also a frequent dance partner.

Special Skills

Having been trained by an Oni from a teen, Charlotte does have several abilities not seen by most other humans.

- Immunity to nightshade.

Akihiko was adamant that Charlie grow resistant to this popular poison, knowing how dangerous the world is and also that associating herself with him would make her a target. 

- Muscle Density

Like Mitsuri, Charlie has a shocking amount of muscle- though hers is from physically sparring with a demon.

- Breath Expulsion

Charlie has extraordinarily powerful lungs, and so is able to (aside from holding her breath for 15 minutes) briefly inhale her wisteria incense and shoot a blast of wisteria-infused smoke from her mouth as a poisonous cloud.

Usually used in dire circumstances to give herself an edge, or to save an ally.

She tends to wheeze for a while afterward.

- Walking demon deterrent

Charlie’s room is covered in wisteria incense cones, and she’s usually seen hanging around inside the wisteria trees that surround the Butterfly Estate. Therefore, the scent of wisteria is usually quite heavy on her, and she can be used as a natural deterrent against low-level oni and yokai.

- Flame Cloak

Charlie has been able to learn how to use her oil breathing to coat herself in the liquid, and then ignite it, covering herself in fire. The oil protects her flesh and clothes until it burns out, and the fire dissipates with it.

This ability is psychologically effective to most opponents, demon and human alike.

Other Trivia:

Much more fluent in Japanese than English, but she cannot read well in either language. Akihiko was much more concerned with making sure Charlie could understand what people were saying than what they wrote.

Tends to openly state her emotions, as a habit from when Akihiko first began teaching her to speak Japanese- when she’s overwhelmed with positive feelings, she sometimes forgets the correct words, so she’ll shorten it to “happy!” with a big smile.

Charlie’s crow assigned himself to her by immediately landing on her head after Giyu and Charlie’s sparring.

Charlie willingly gave her blood to Akihiko on a regular basis, extracting it with fresh syringes. She had no qualms about it, and Akihiko always made sure she only gave him a small amount.

Giyu gifted her blue hair pins a year after they met, and she always wears them or keeps them with her. Also keeps several gifts from her friends on her (earrings from Tengen, a good luck charm from Mitsuri), but secretly values the hairpins more due to her relationship with Giyu

Due to frequent nightmares, Charlie keeps a small Baku totem under her pillow at all times.

Charlie's relationship with Urogi was entirely an accident.

Has a large burn scar covering her back from when she was starting to learn how to cloak herself in flame. It was a valuable lesson, and one she wears without shame.

Does not hate Sanemi, but thinks it’s funny to anger him and also thinks he deserves it after he tried to kill her

Always greets her friends when they return home.

Her physical flexibility rivals Inosuke’s

Charlie has a burning anger toward infidelity- anyone who she knows to be cheating on their partner

Because she has low physical self esteem, she’s easily attached to anyone who genuinely compliments her appearance

She was stillborn

Theme Songs:

Forokururu (Monster Hunter) *

Kulve Taroth (Monster Hunter) *

What Do You Know (Annihilation)

Rowdy Rumble (Kingdom Hearts)

Empty Crown (Yas)

[doodleofbugness]

i completely forgot i had a pjo/marvel crossover. i don't know if i'm ever going to write it, so here is the outline of The Lightning Thief in this au, since it's kind of hysterically funny:

Luke sneaks away from camp to go look for Sean, one of his younger brothers who disappeared not long after New Years.

Percy kills his first monster, watches his mother die, kills his second monster, finds out he’s a demigod, and finds out who his birth father is—all within a few weeks. The only good thing is that Matt and Foggy come looking for him. Just like Sally said, mortal Foggy can’t get in—but Matt can. Matt is heavily in denial; he’s willing to believe the Greek gods are real, especially with one standing right in front of him, but he isn’t willing to believe that should have anything to do with him beyond calling Percy and Sally family, no sir.

When Percy is blamed for stealing the Master Bolt, Matt comes with him. Matt ends up finding himself chaperoning three preteens on a cross-country trip. He notices the Furies before the kids and sends Annabeth up front in her Yankees Hat to pull the emergency brake so they can get off. When the Furies try to fight them, Matt plays helpless blind man to the hilt and gets the rest of the bus on their side. They walk to the nearest town and take the train to Louisville.

Matt scents what Echidna and the Chimera are in Louisville, and makes the kids cram into the elevator. He manages to beat the monsters to death with his bare hands, but nearly dies. The preteens are panicked, and force feed him ambrosia.

Luke comes back to find out that Annabeth has gone on a quest with a child of the Big Three and a blind adult demigod who only just found out what he is. He heads back out, tracking them.

Matt picks a fight with Ares in Denver. It goes about how you’d expect, and the kids get to see Matt’s Daredevil skills in person. The fight ends with Ares on the ground getting his face pummeled in, which is about when Luke finds them. He breaks up the fight by telling Ares that he’ll go and tell everyone that Ares is trying to start a war on Olympus if Ares doesn’t fuck off. Matt steals Ares’s bag just to spite him.

Between Luke and Matt, everyone makes it safely onto a bus from Denver to Los Angeles. They poke around LA for mythological happenings, and wreck a few monster nests. Percy gives everyone a heart attack when he ends up in the ocean while they’re searching the coastal neighborhoods, where a nereid gives him five pearls and tells him they’re a gift from his father. She also gives him directions to a monster nest, where she says he can find information on the Underworld. This last nest has a Cyclops who’s retired from Poseidon’s forge, and he’s willing to give them directions. It’s rather anticlimactic. 

Luke bribes Charon to let them down into the Underworld, where everyone learns that Matt is afraid of dogs. Annabeth, happily, is not, and she quickly makes friends with Cerberus. The two new best buds are inconsolable about being separated. 

When they pass the pit, Percy hears whispers too, but Luke is the one most deeply affected. The pit tells him that it can give him a way to heal his mother, if he just jumps. Percy hears the pit say it can give him his mother back. Matt notices they’ve fallen behind, realizes how close to the pit they are, and points out that it’s very probably Greek Hell, or whatever it’s called— “Tartarus,” Annabeth says —meaning whatever it has to say is definitely horseshit. They continue on to the palace.

When Percy tells Hades they’re there for the Master Bolt, Hades accuses Percy of stealing it, along with his own Helm of Darkness. He proves the Master Bolt is with them—in the bag Matt casually owns up to stealing from Ares for entirely petty reasons. This successfully derails the confrontation. Hades tells them to get out of his realm and get his Helm back. Matt assures him that this is no trouble, as Matt is itching to finish what he started. Hades says he hopes Matt lives a long life, so Hades doesn’t have to deal with him anytime soon. Matt tells him that everyone has dreams. Luke picks the pearls from Percy’s pocket and breaks them before Matt can get smited.

Matt does indeed finish what he started, at the low cost of getting run through and nearly drowning. Percy is deeply relieved to learn that his water healing trick can work on other people too, if he focuses. Everyone puts on big crocodile tears to get the deeply concerned public to fund their bus tickets back East.

Matt refuses to let Percy go up to Olympus alone. He spills about Ares’s involvement in front of the entire council; he’ll end the day with a new mortal enemy, to his delight. Zeus accepts the Bolt, and rewards them by not immediately smiting Percy. Poseidon has a talk with Percy before they leave, and earns Matt’s deep and abiding ire. Nemesis then ambushes the two demigods outside the throne room to claim Matt and reminisce about his parents. Matt, deeply uncomfortable, insincerely tells her it was nice to meet her, and hustles Percy to the elevator.

This year’s bead is black with a green trident. Annabeth goes to live with her father for the school year; Luke makes her promise to IM him if it goes wrong and she wants to come home, no matter the time. He hovers all the last day until Annabeth finally gets fed up and threatens to stab him.

Annabeth calls Luke to take her home. He hotwires a car and drives through the night to come pick her up.

[savvythepirate]

Cold hearted

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warnings: None that I can think of

Requested by: @friendlynova

The Request:

I’d like to request Davy Jones, if you could make him a big meanie I would appreciate it.

***

You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, per say, as you worked your refuse cores of sweeping the dust on the footboards you walk on.

You were working on the Dutchman and for its captain, Davy Jones. While you were sweeping away dusty footprints, Davy cows around your way and since he hasn’t been crud to you yet, you didn’t feel much fear as most would. Instead of running, you offer a friendly smile and got a stone cold stare in return. How you and Davy Jones came to be was as the Dutchman was sailing the seas one day, he spots you floating alone in the middle of the ocean and took you in and you were still alive, getting close to be hanging over the edge of certain death.

It was quite shocking to you when Davy Jones spared your life of all beings. Since you were not in the best condition after hoisting you onboard, Davy allowed you to get some rest in his cabin before he would put you to work while he would be there to make sure you’re actually doing what you’re told to do. You were much more cooperative then most of the crew, and Davy favored you for that. There had been times where you had felt somewhat safe around the presence of your captain, until one day, all hell broke loose. You weren’t a trouble seeker, trouble always seemed to have found you before you even realize that. Not once on the Dutchman did you get in trouble, that is until now. All you had to say about it was that it was one of the most frightening experiences you’ve had in life and did not want it to happen again. The reason for this cause of trouble occurred when Davy Jones appeared as you were doing your normal daily routine, sweeping the floor once again. To help pass the time, you would often sing softly to yourself and that’s what you were doing now. Sweeping away and singing a song from your favorite band, Evanescence when Davy comes around not looking too happy.

Davy didn’t want you to sing because he feared it might disrupt him as he plays his organ. You have heard him play it a few times while walking by and he played beautifully, but you didn’t dare say that out loud. Especially to Davy Jones himself. Sometimes you’d sneak by just to hear while out of sight, thinking Davy wouldn’t have known you were there watching but he could feel your presence and knew you were there. He doesn’t say anything as he continues and allows you to stay and listen. You showed up one last time, but no more after the last time as you did not want to risk the consequences and left before he had the final chance to notice you. Little did you know, Davy starts hearing you sing and goes to confront you, wanting to put a stop to it in fear of it possibly destroying his skills for the organ.

Davy then finds you without you noticing as you were singing under your breath.

“All my fears, turn to rage…”

You were going onto continue, but was quickly interrupted by your captain.

“What’s this?!” Davy spits out in anger, causing you to jump and look to him.

You bravely meet his eyes as you answer.

“Just singing to myself as I usually do when it comes to chores.” You offer a weak smile, but that only seemed to enrage him even more.

So Davy Jones curtly orders you to stop.

“Well, you best avoid from ever doing that again, you would if you know what’s good for you. I have never heard something so…”

You wait for him to finish.

“Just so appalling, and look at the floor here, you call this clean?! This isn’t clean! You ought to put enough effort to keep the damn floor clean!”

Your head hung as you refused to let Davy see the tears forming.

“There has to be at least one thing you can do right. From day one, you have been nothing but trouble… you ought to be disposed of!”

Hearing that had you backing up until your back hit the wall behind you, fearing what was going to happen next or that if he was going to kill you in that exact moment. You couldn’t let that happen, you were so determined to live no matter what.

“Please… please don’t hurt me.” You beg in choked voice, the lump forming in your throat.

However, Davy acted as though he hadn’t heard a word you’ve said, your pleas. Instead, Davy continues on with such cruelty towards you, making you wish Davy had just left you there to die when he first encountered you and brought you onboard.

Anything was better then this.

“I don’t know why I had kept you alive in the first place. I should have disposed of you right on the spot.”

Upon saying that, you back away further once more as he starts to walk away, but not without another word, the words that will cut deep and leave you shattered. What he says next in your opinion, that maybe he was right about the next saying.

“I shoulda had you slaughtered, you’re nothing but good as dead, and you have no purpose here, (Y/n).”

That one hit hard, so you waited for Jones to be out of sight before allowing the tears to fall. As you do so, you begin to wonder about packing a bag and leaving the Dutchman that night and with the help of those echoing words from Davy Jones, you decided that leaving would be the best thing you could ever do.

It’s not an easy choice to have made, but you at least had motivation why you were doing this. The plan was leaving without a single word about it to anyone, you’ve just kept it all inside you. Before you got on one of the boats to leave, you give some final words.

“So long, maybe we’ll see each other again one day.”

With that, you left even when the knowledge of Davy Jones will either remain unnoticed of your absence or if he would actually change his mind and come looking for you to bring you back. You being the only crew he cares so deeply about, hadn’t meant those awful words he had thrown your way.

When Davy noticed you were no longer on the Dutchman, that’s when he realized his mistake and what it had cost him. Davy couldn’t help but panic at the thought of wanting you back there with him and vowed to not rest until he had you back again.

Wherever you are, he needed you.

Just you.

***

@savvythepirate

Requests: OPEN

TAGS: @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @marsswann