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incendiaryplottwist-blog · 7 years ago

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The Villain Wrangler

Okay, so I haven’t been on Tumblr in years, but now I’m hooked on Tumblr mini stories, and my favorite of all time is that of The Villain Wrangler. So I imagined this AU where TVW is Arthur from the modern The Tick, on Amazon (this is a distinct flavor of Arthur, trust me), and that Ivar the Boneless has come to join the supervillains. I write dialogue-heavy stuff and some people don’t like it and that’s my main mode when I’m just noodling around, so... I literally created this account (my second ever on the site) to be able to engage with people on The Villain Wrangler and gather other tumblr stories and prompts. So here’s my very goofy take on TVW. Note: The Tick is comedy and I hope I succeeded a tiny bit with that because I’m not really a comedy writer. Enter The Villain Wrangler... thanks for indulging me. Since I’m a Tumblr newb I housed this on AO3. Also I used an additional prompt noted on AO3 which provided a line of dialogue in this fic. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12109263 But here’s the text of it: *~*~* Ivar the Boneless's face is a growl of determination. "If I must be here, in Your Time, then yes, I shall join your alliance of villains. In this time, I shall spread the word that never have our gods been as those who would coopt them say they are. Though I know English, it is only through the corrupt deeds of the-- "The Villain Wrangler nods. "I see. Yes. Exactly. The corrupt deeds of the--yes." "They are the true conquerors, the conquerors of our gods, and this may only be temporary, for I must save my people, but if I am here, then yes, I join you in your cause." "I see. Yes. Thank you." The Villain Wrangler's phone rings. "Ah. Ivar. Yes. Please get acquainted with, ah, your comrades." He steps out of the Villains For Assistive Technology meeting room as someone else takes his place. The Squid Lord traipses over to Ivar on eight legs. "We can update your chair--" he's beginning to say, "So you can get around the city." *~*~* "Dot!" "Yes, Arthur. You can't forget dinner tonight at Mom's." "I'm in a meeting, Dot! A very important meeting!" "Family still matters, Arthur. Do you want to leave me alone with the feet man?" "No. No, I don't. I really don't. But you have to be careful calling me. I have to go." His Make a Wish phone is ringing anyway. "Yes," comes a voice thick with an Eastern European accent. "I wish you to know that the presence of one young Ivar the Boneless has been requested.” "Already?" "Yes." "I see." "There is a small child who knows she needs a bone marrow transplant and she immediately thought of this Ivar. It is luck alone that he would materialize in our present day reality, and if he has joined you and your consortium--" "Yes. Yes, he has." "Yes. This makes sense. For you see, he has always championed the old ways, and being that he himself--" "Yes, yes, well, and he is a historical figure and so we know... Thank you. I will let him know his presence is requested. Where?" "Saint Mary's. Two o'clock on Wednesday if you can manage it--her procedure is the next day." *~*~* The Villain Wrangler, AKA Arthur, outfits Ivar with a cell phone and tries his best to teach him how to use it. "It has the Internet so if you get bored--" "It is a cat computer? Yes I have seen this where I stay." "No, it's a phone, just... if it rings you do this, then you talk. Here, I'll call you." "In my country the cats eat mice. Here they eat rocks. I do not understand this." "Listen, you're a historical figure, you're important, people might want to talk to you." "Ah. Yes. Political negotiations. I rather kill them. But not children. When I was a child, I was spared." "Yes. Yes, well I wouldn't really know, but I--" "And my pain was lessened by a healer who had Odin walking inside of him." "Yes. That's good." "And so this child." "Yes, her name is Maria." "I will go to her." "Thank you." "Yes. You are welcome, Villain Wrangler. It is my duty." "Yes, thank you for understanding our place in the--" "I will eat up her sadness and do whatever I can to help.""Thank you, Ivar." "Indeed."

#the villain wrangler #crossover #the tick #vikings #historical figures #historical villain #but is he really a villain #disabled characters #the villain wrangler fic #villain wrangler #ivar the boneless #ivar #ivar ragnarsson #time travel #viking saga #antihero

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ironarchived · 8 years ago

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HALF GODS ARE WORSHIPPED IN WINE AND FLOWERS.

REAL GODS REQUIRE BLOOD.

ACT I EX NIHILO.

THERE ARE GODS, THEY USED TO SAY, that reign over the skies and hang the stars in the heavens, that sung the earth into existence and plucked the sun from the constellations to shine brightest in the day, that wept until the seas filled more of the world than land and gave their breath to the wind and their rage to the thunder and lightning. these are our gods, they used to breathe with lips parted in sacred exaltation, eyes turned skywards, to the vast infinite beyond where they imagined the sky and moon and stars watched them live and die. these are our gods, they gave us the world and everything in it.

they worshipped the gods like lovers, like mothers and wives, like blood and kin. to the gods that guarded their hearth and home, they gave their food and the best of each season’s harvest. for the gods of lust and hunger that gave them love and war, they spilt blood and crowned their victors in the carnage. for the gods that brought them rain and wisdom and plenty, they danced and revelled and feasted from dawn till dusk. they named them father sky, and mother earth, and prayed to their children, the gods of wind and storms, the gods of the land and forest, honoring above all, the gods of the living and the dead. in the south, the daughters of summer warmed the air and kissed the clear sky with stars so they could always find their way home; in the north, old man winter and grandfather frost came out of the cold to sit by their fires and bring gifts of food and laughter to their children.

all over the world, in each age of humanity, scattered across the eras of history and civilization, they spoke of gods. their veneration, their devotion, was absolute.

it was life, the very breath that filled their lungs, the certainty that everything under the skies was here because the gods had willed it. the divine –– they move the heaven and the earth, rattle the skies and the oceans –– but the one feat that mankind had never needed them for, the act of divinity they taught themselves, they wielded like song, and story, requiem and warcry.

this was how they immortalized themselves. and this was how they began to forget.

ACT II THE AGE OF HUMANITY.

IN THE BEGINNING, MEN ��AND WOMEN knew nothing beyond the borders of the world the gods had carved for them. they were the architects, the authors, the great masterminds of human design. but centuries passed, and as mankind grew, evolved, advanced, they began to discover a world that had no need of rulers and sovereigns they could not see or touch.

in egypt, the people called them pharoahs, half-king and half-god. in persia, the kings and conquerors were one and the same, men of war and bloodletting. in china, they were emperors, sons of heaven and supreme rulers of all under heaven. rome went through their philosopher-kings, dictators, and emperors, faster than they could replace them, and their republic of men rose and fell crumbling into dust. russia had her csars, derived from caesar, ancient and biblical. in every city-state and later country, kings and queens with their gilt crowns and diadems reigned from on high, and their people adored them, worshipped them, like their bloodlines were more than simply royal. as if their birthrights made them divine.

worship became a matter of fanaticism rather than belief, a means of power and control to extend man’s dominion. they called on the gods not for mere protection or prosperity but merciless victory in battle, the demise of their enemies, the triumphs of their conquests, slaughters, subjugations. the gods listened, helpless, as so many of them bled. a god is powerless, after all, if the people do not truly believe. temples and holy places burned, and burned, and others took their churches with them in blazes of fire or flood, choosing to flee before they watched their people burn, too.

in some parts of the world, belief survived as ritual and tradition, passed from mother to daughter, father to son, like treasure and heritage. ceremony and old folklore thrived in the tales spun by high priestesses, wise men, magicians. stories survived. and humans cast their own heroes, too, made gods out of the ones amongst them that walked like they had the blood of the divine running through their veins.

their gods were rebels, revolutionaries, heretics. they defied the heavens and the stars, and they brought their own hell and their own heaven down upon the gods of old. a reckoning born of long-awaited retribution. for what’s a god to a non-believer ? what use were gods who reigned from on high, from their mount olympus or valhalla, when mortal men could build their own empires, their own legends. new heroes and martyrs rose, part-human and all glory, and they were loved for it, adored for the fallibility that made them worthy of the empathy of men. they were loved, they were hated, and they lived on the lips of men and women who spun their greatest triumphs and tragedies into gold.

eventually, even half-gods must die. but buried in the immortality of history, they were never truly dead to begin with.

ACT III HOW TO KILL A GOD.

THE RISE AND FALL OF EMPIRES is woven into the thread of mortal history. according to the sacred texts, gods existed for millennia before the creation of men. according to the lore of the divine, gods will exist long after the last mortal takes their last breath. the stories do not tell you that gods die. and when they truly die, they die unmourned and unremembered.

what are gods, after all, without belivers ? without worship, without faith and prayer to keep them and sustain them. for centuries, their power and vitality had waxed and waned on the whim of humanity. some learned to thrive in their own way, expanding their domain into unexpected, increasingly inventive places so long as there were disciples willing to listen. devotion came in new forms: new ways for mortals to sell their blood, soul, and bone for a price. ideas are more difficult to kill than people, or gods, and the divine had lived feeding from the cornucopia for centuries; if you believed the cynics, religion was the greatest con humanity had ever played on themselves.

for most of them, modernity meant death. many vanished altogether into obscurity and folklore, shrouding themselves in the protection oblivion offered rather than watch themselves decay.

it was the lesson they all should have seen coming, the price they paid for immortality. eternity lasts, but what god can abide living forever, forgotten and unwanted.

new gods, those who could still recall the taste of humanity, flourished best. the game of longevity became adaptation. humanity had new things to worship now fame, media, technology, money. an endless, inexhaustible list of thrills to fill the void of their life’s pursuit for meaning. for the new gods, everything became about survival. reinvention. they refused to languish, defiant even at the brink of annihilation, as countless old gods had.

in an age where men could walk on the moon, halt disease and delay death, revel in their own brilliance and daring and laugh in the face of their own morality, divinity has become extinct. the modern world is no place for blind worship anymore, at least not in gods. but the minds and hearts of mortals remain malleable, their desires and wants so easily sated. you see, humans want to believe. they want, more than anything, to know their mortality isn’t subject to the cold indifferent nothingness of mere existence without meaning or higher purpose or profound truth.

belief is still the most powerful thing in the world. men have waged wars, burned empires, destroyed everything and themselves included, believing in something.

all gods who receive homage are cruel, but mercy and devotion made them almost soft. once, they were powerful, all-knowing, and above all, beloved. now, the divine are dead and dying. humanity has abandoned them in pursuit of hubris and apotheosis, but the gods have not left, they never have. and the ones who want to survive, the restless and the hungry, they’ll burn the world down before they let themselves die forgotten.

half-gods are worshipped in wine and flowers, they’ll let themselves be satisfied with hollow ingratitude, brawling in the dirt of sacrilege for any scrap of mortal devotion.

real gods require blood.

INSPIRED BY THE WICKED + THE DIVINE AND AMERICAN GODS.

VERSE INFO BELOW

PINTEREST. BROUGHT TO YOU BY IRONARMORED / CLAUDIA.

PREMISE

this is a group verse inspired by image comic’s the wicked + the divine by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie, and american gods by neil gaiman. you don’t have to have read ( or watched ! ) either to join this verse but feel free to read their basic synopses on goodreads or wikipedia, or catch the new episodes of american gods every week.

this is a non-superpowered au in the sense that the traditional ‘ superpowers ’ superhumans / metahumans have will not be considered as such. you might translate those powers into divine abilities but obviously, they will extend from your muse’s divine status rather than their superhuman abilities. also, if it wasn’t clear already, there are no superheroes in this world, instead there are gods.

track #DIVINEAU, and #DIVINEOOC to find out more, and to stay up to date with the verse. information about biographies & plotting calls will be posted shortly.

GENERAL CODE OF CONDUCT

all drama should be kept fictional only. ooc drama and godmodding / metagaming are forbidden and will lead to removal from the group. if any issues arise that can’t be sorted out privately between the relevant parties, contact me and i’ll see what i can do to help resolve them.

this verse will contain mature content and triggering material. all triggers should be appropriately tagged; if you need something tagged let the rper in question know.

stay as active as possible. because there are limited positions open inactivity without explanation for more than 2 weeks may result in you being dropped from the verse. if you’re taking a hiatus or you know you’ll be busy for a while, let me know and i’ll keep your spot on hold until you’re back.

GAMEPLAY

the way this verse will work will be based on 3 main things:

1. everyone interacting with everyone. do your absolute best to engage with everyone in the group ic and ooc. most of the dynamics between all our muses should be pre-established so go wild with plotting / establishing dynamics / building backstory.

2. in service of the overarching plot arcs for the verse, there will be fortnightly plot updates. or maybe every three weeks, i haven’t decided yet. more information on this later !

3. apart from act one, major plot arcs will be a joint decision between all of us. your input and suggestions are vital to the development of this group verse. if you have any ideas or things you’d like to see happen please don’t hesitate to message / im me.

THE OLD GODS & THE NEW

the original inspirations for this verse are both highly diverse and representative of a wide range of folklore and mythology spanning cultures from all over the world. i love graeco-roman mythology as much as the next person, however it would be very boring and cliche to have this verse populated with deities that are exclusively greek or roman. i absolutely encourage you all to look to other ancient mythologies when choosing your character’s god / demigod / mythological figure. godchecker is an excellent resource and database for deities around the world, and wikipedia has lists of deities sorted by classification.

the pantheons are divided between OLD GODS, and NEW GODS. the distinction is fairly clear but i’ll allow for loose intrepretations if you’ve already considered a good reason why your character would be more suited to one allegiance over the other. for the most part however, new gods are only demi-gods or half-gods, or not divine at all. they are mythological figures, and not officially part of any major pantheons; they should be fringe gods or lesser-known ones as they are considered relatively ‘ newer ’ than the old, traditional, more well-established gods. to use greek myth as an example, hercules / ariadne / odysseus / achilles / circe would all be considered new gods. again, i encourage people to look outside the usual greek-roman sources. it might take some research and in-depth wiki-ing but honestly, everyone’s going to need to do some research on their god to fill out their character’s backstory and work out their individual details for this verse, so don’t shy away from going for the rare or obscure. those are the most interesting !

you may syncetrize your chosen deity, i.e., use an amalgamation of different interpretations of the same ‘ type ’ of god. people who choose a greek / roman deity can use one or both versions of the god. there are other cases throughout history where the same god has been reinterpreted in different ways and if you like, you can work out a way through your deity’s history and your own muse’s characterisation to invent and explain the merging of your two chosen gods. an example of this might be combining inanna, sumerian goddes of love / beauty / sexual desire / fertility, and bastet, egyptian goddess of love / sexuality / beauty / dance

alt fcs of color are welcomed, and in fact, encouraged.

v. important: the ethnicity of your character does not necessarily have to match the gender identity or cultural background of your chosen deity.

before deciding on your god, i would suggest taking a look at the blogs that have already been accepted to ensure that the one you’re interested in hasn’t already been taken. there will inevitably be overlaps in terms of the domains of each god but ideally, i don’t want any direct repeats, e.g. having helios / ra / amaterasu would be pointless, but apollo / ushas / bastet would be acceptable as they cover a wider range of functions and areas they were worshipped for.

APPLICATION

to begin with, there will be 23 available slots for people to apply for, 12 new gods / 11 old gods. if there’s enough interest / demand, i may consider opening that up. to join, message me with your faceclaim, your character’s deity, and whether they are an old god / new god. i reserve the right to ask you to reconsider your deity if they share too many similarities with already accepted gods.

no duplicate characters, faceclaims, or gods.

for the moment, this verse is only open to mutuals that are following me and that i’m following back. if all goes well and i end up expanding the verse, i may open slots for non-mutuals.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

OLD GODS I. INANNA / ISHTAR / APHRODITE TALIA AL GHUL / NADINE NASSIB NJEIM. @alghul II. GEVURAH KATE KANE / IDINA MENZEL. @viiragini III. THOR THOR ODINSON / CHRIS HEMSWORTH. @tordenvaer IV. HEKATE WANDA MAXIMOFF / DEEPIKA PADUKONE. @nexusbeing V. ATABEY AMERICA CHAVEZ / HERIZEN GUARDIOLA. @americhic VI. AMATERASU HIKARU SULU / JOHN CHO. @starlightsulu VIII. PERSEPHONE LYDIA MARTIN / LANA DEL REY. @shelazarus IX. EREŠKIGAL / KĀLĪ / LILITH EREŠKIGAL / SEGOVIA AMIL. @erkalla

NEW GODS I. PROMETHEUS / 盤古 TONY STARK / GODFREY GAO. @ironarmored II. MORPHEUS EMMA WALKER / KRISTIN KREUK. @somniferi

#０１ : // ⟨ RUN.SYSTEMS_OVERRIDE. ⟩#U : // ⟨ Ｇ. ⟩#Ｇ : DIVINE // ⟨ THE SECRET TO IMMORTALITY IS NOT TO LIVE FOREVER. IT IS TO DIE OUTLIVING YOUR FEAR OF DEATH. ⟩#divineau #divineooc #i literally can't look at this anymore if there's typos in the last part i'm just gonna have to live with that shame #no proofreading we die like men #AnYWAYS don't let the sheer amount of text scare you off lmao i just got excited #and this verse has been a long time coming #basically it's just a mythology / american gods / wicdiv au

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rinplup · 8 years ago

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I just wanted to make a master post of fire emblem fics that I like so I don’t have to go searching for them. (p.s. it’s going to be like 99% chrobin, sorry not sorry.)

I will put them under the undercut for y’all though, cause idk how long it’ll get. CHECK IT OUT IF YOU WANT.

25 Lives - Time after time, life after life, Chrom will follow Robin.

A Gentle Whisper - Chrom is fairly certain he's slowly turning into a nuisance.(or: Chrom and Robin slowly fall in love, with slight canon divergence)

A Pair of Eyes - Lucina watches her father and his tactician from afar and wonders how her father is so blind. Friendly Lucina/DLC!Marth, onesided F!Robin/Chrom, implied Chrom/Sumia.

A Will and a Way - Robin makes a vow knowing she must break it; Chrom is left to deal with the aftermath. Main timeline. (Rated M)

An Undesirable Mark - He couldn't wrap his head around the concept that someone had asked him out on a date instead of it being the other way around. It was jarring, to say the least. (Luci/Male Robin, Female Morgan/Inigo)

better places - "There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know," he says with a chuckle, and suddenly he feels years younger.

Blood of Dragons - Ylisse carries a history of dragons, and stories whisper of their powers mingling with Exalts and Grimleal. To a prince and tactician they are only tales, until a fateful night burns away myth and makes it all too real. Together they will have to face down kings, conquerors, and what lurks in their own blood. [AU: Female Avatar/Chrom]

By His Side - He was all she remembered and her only companion in this ruined world. A young Lucina as she is raised by Robin in a world Grima destroyed. AU

Cycle - Robin is a young woman who bakes cakes during the day, sleeps at night, and drinks on weekends. She does not wage wars, fight demons, or solve dating issues. Yet, somehow by divine mistake, she's found herself doing just that. Clearly, someone has her confused with another Robin... Rated M for violence, language, and mature themes.

Exhume - She knows her name starts with an R, but not much else. Un-life as a Risen is dull, until a chance meeting with a group of survivors known as the Shepherds changes her outlook entirely, and breathes something back into a dying world.

Evening the Score - "Chrom!" she shouted. "Pull my hair one more time and I'll knock your teeth out!" [Sully, Chrom, and the shenanigans that ensue when you leave a bunch of preteens under Frederick's not-quite-omniscient supervision.]

Flowers for a Funeral - Maybe they're both dead and they just haven't realized it yet. -Morgan, Morgan, and Avatar/Robin/Grima

For Lucina - “I’m going to speak plainly. That document describes your ex-wife’s intent to gain full custody of Lucina, and there’s a high likelihood you could lose your daughter.” | Chrom only has one choice if he intends to keep his daughter, and Robin's the only one who can help him.

House on the Hill - The only thing necessary for the triumph of horror is that smart choices not be made. (Male Robin/Lucina)

In the Presence of Gods - When Princess Robin discovers her father wants to sacrifice the wounded amnesiac with the mark of Naga on his arm, she rescues him from the dungeons. Role Reversal AU.

Lamentation - Even monsters have someone to mourn their loss. -Lucina, Morgan, and the shades of grief.

Multiverse - In the infinite possible realities that exist, most things stay the same—but Robin is always different. A series of one-shots exploring Chrom's relationships (platonic and otherwise) with a different version of Robin in each chapter.

My Oedipus Complex - All little Morgan wants is his mother's absolute love and attention...but Chrom keeps getting in the way. (It’s actually not incestuous).

Mother Tongue - The resemblance is uncanny, and she doesn’t know why she’s never thought to ask either Morgan or their mother. Still, she’d rather know, so she finally asks. “Morgan, do you know Plegian?”

On the Topic of Pockets - Robin's coat has pockets. For some reason, the thought is baffling.

Or The War Is Lost - Quickly Robin! You must make more bunnies or the war is lost! Robin x Yarne, Robin x Chrom. One Shot. Crack-filled as it can be.

Paternity - "Papa, they're sleeping again." | Robin & Chrom bring their twins home, and Lucina takes being an older sister very seriously. | Modern AU fluff for Father's Day

Pie - In which Sumia and Chrom really like each other and it could be so easy, but Sumia does end up feeling guilty on more than one occasion. [One-shot; Office-Worker AU]

Prologue to the Prologue - Bits and pieces of Lucina's life before and after her leap through time and space. Awakening through Lucina's eyes. The trials and tribulations she faces while trying to change her fate. Follows the canon storyline with some interludes.

Protected - Robin has always assumed he is just a beta - until he goes into his omega heat, shortly after Gangrel is defeated and peace has returned to the realm. But Chrom is away on business… and he's the only alpha that Robin wants to mate with. (Rated M)

Pursuit - (Modern AU; Slow-Build) Chrom, a young police officer, is set on making Ylisse a better place by eradicating the creeping effects of the Grima Syndicate. Robin, the daughter of Validar Grima, is trying to live a normal life as a trauma surgeon in Ylisstol. As the two develop feelings for one another, Robin is torn between her morals and her loyalty to her family.

Robin for Exalt - Chrom sucks at his job. Robin decides its time to bring a splash of democracy to Ylisse.

Run-In - Robin stumbles in on Chrom in the bath, and proceeds to realize just how much he likes Chrom. [genderswap--male Robin, female Chrom] (Rated Explicit)

Sister Complex - in which Chrom lets his imagination and older brother instincts get the better of him

The Arrangement - AU Chrom's father lives and the Plegia-Ylisse war continues until Chrom is nineteen. With Gangrel's death and the final treaty between the two countries being signed, Chrom meets the daughter of the new King of Plegia: Princess Robin. Little does he know that their parents have sealed their fates along with the treaty by arranging their marriage. (Chrobin / Arranged Marriage AU) (Rated M)

The Best of Worst Kind of Gossip - Morgan has a thing for Lucina. And Chrom isn't sure he likes that.

The Heart of the Moon - Something stalks the forests south of Ylisstol. A nightmare made real, with too many burning eyes and jagged teeth. At the behest of his sister, Prince Chrom goes to face the beast...and finds far more than he imagined in the dark woods. A young woman seeks escape from the monster that has made her a prisoner -- but those words hide a terrible truth that may tear two nations apart.

A Fire Emblem: Awakening adaptation of the Norwegian fairy tale 'East of the Sun and West of the Moon.'

The Prince and The Plegian - At the height of summer, when the caravans creak into Ylisse, Chrom meets a foreign girl who is nothing like the stiff, strained life he has come to know. Twelve years old and never having gone beyond the city gates, that wild Plegian gives him a taste of freedom. Chrom/Robin with an accidental hint of Emmeryn/Robin.

Thoughts on Children - The mothers of the army are wondering what their children may be like, especially if they had married someone else.

today begins and it’s all that we have - Lucina realises, as she watches herself grow, that they are very different people, from two very different worlds. As an adult, she’s wide-eyed and happy, kind but with a sharp tongue, and she wields her sword much more reluctantly than Lucina ever had to. There’s something of brightness and life in her eyes, an innocence that Lucina envies terribly, deep in her bones.

#edit later #i am too lazy to finish this now #fire emblem fanfics

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