#-your feelings and experiences or whatever so i definitely wouldn’t have told anybody about this anyways

[crash-freak]

When I think back to my childhood I realize how often I was hallucinating/experiencing delusions but I didn’t have the language or understanding to express it at that time

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[asarahworld-writes]

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S missing scenes

The Pink Suit

Zed looked at the charity bin.  It was a long shot that anybody had actually made a donation, let alone something that he could reasonably wear on a date.  If it came down to it, he could bleach and dye something to acceptable Seabrook colours.  But maybe he wouldn’t have to.

Mind made up, he plunged his hand into the bin and pulled out a bag of garbage.  Okay.  He discarded it and reached in again.  This time, he’d grabbed a pink infant’s onesie.  Actual clothing.  Another onesie, two more, and a tiny pair of sneakers.  Why would an infant require shoes?  At times, it still amazed Zed that humans could spend so much time creating things that would be outgrown before they could even be worn.  He added the baby shoes to the reject pile and pulled the next item from the bin.  A suit jacket.  It unfolded as he pulled it out and he sighed, reaching into the bin to catch whatever had fallen out, pumping his fist as he pulled out dress shoes and matching dress pants.  Of course, there was still a chance (the odds were definitely not in his favour) that nothing would fit his lanky frame.  He slipped his arms into the jacket, his jaw dropping in awe as the sleeves fell over his Z-band and past his wrists.  Not only was it not too small, it was a perfect fit.

He could hear his friends’ thoughts about the suit.  It’s too pink, Eliza would say, scrunching her nose in disapproval.  Besides, this plan is insane, Zed.  It’s not worth the risk, especially for Cheery von Cheerstick.  He rolled his eyes at the imaginary Eliza.  “Her name is Addison,” he said out loud.  “And this is going to be the perfect date.”  Beside her, Bonzo laughed.  What are the odds that you manage to find a human suit in decent condition that actually fits you better than your regular clothes?    “Because today is about taking a risk to get something that I actually want.”

To Zed, the suit looked just right.  A beautiful light linen, soft pink that would blend into the Seabrook humans’ ideal aesthetic.  Never mind that the suit was dusty and wrinkled, with an odd dark stain on the left leg.  It would come out.  Probably.  He looked from the suit to the donation bin.  Technically, he fell into the category of people eligible to be helped by the charity organization.  Technically, if one removed his zombie-ism from the equation.  The son of a hard-working single father, a sophomore taking a rounded curriculum of courses at school, whose family made do so well that he could almost pretend things weren’t as bad as they were.  From a human perspective, of course.  His family was quite well-off, for a zombie family.  His dad had never let them go without; if nothing else, there was always an extra tin of brains around and a space at the table for a friend or two.

Zed continued to rationalize.  Honestly, he needed the suit.  He’d told Addison he would pick her up.  The experiment with his Z-Band meant nothing if he was still dressed the part of a zombie.  He needed to look the part.  He was done with the hard part – swiping left.  He looked at the suit again, feeling another surge of adrenaline.  Decision made, suit in hand, he ducked into the alley to change.

[fruitcoops]

if you are still taking request I think that it would be so cute if lily convinced remus to go to the nail salon with her, and he was going to just get like a manicure and clear coat, and he changes his mind and comes home with his nails done sirius' favorite color as a surprise and sirius is just like dumbstruck by how much the little things remus does makes him fall even more in love with him and fluffy cuteness ensues

This is adorable! Enjoy some Loops and Lily, ft. fluffy Coops on this lovely Monday. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Remind me why I’m coming with you again?” Remus sighed as they turned the corner. “It’s just going to chip off in two days anyway.”

“Because you had a shitty weekend and deserve a hand massage,” Lily said briskly. She looped her arm through his and tucked her hand into her pocket, tilting her face up toward the sun and trusting him to guide her along the sidewalk. “You don’t have to choose colors if you don’t want to.”

“If I have to go, I’m not going to half-ass it.”

She grinned and cracked one eye open. “There’s my Remus.”

A gentle bell jingled above his head as they ducked into the shop—Lily called it a ‘salon’, which he didn’t really understand, but it sounded fancy. One woman looked up from a client’s nails and waved, then pointed to the far wall. “Pick whatever colors you’d like! I’ll be with you in a few.”

Remus stopped in his tracks. “That’s…a lot.”

Lily rolled her eyes and dragged him closer. “You’re not chickening out on me over some colors, Lupin. Which one do you like?”

“I don’t know! There’s too many!”

“There’s green,” Lily huffed, planting him in front of about three dozen different shades. “Go nuts.”

“I’m not putting green on my nails. It’ll look weird.”

“Then do red and gold!”

“That’s lame. Can’t I just watch you get yours done?”

“No,” Lily groaned. It wasn’t the first time he had asked, and likely wouldn’t be the last. “It’s about the experience, Re. If you want just a clear coat, that’s fine, but you said you—”

“—didn’t want to half-ass it, I know,” he finished with a grumble. Colors. Colors aren’t that difficult. Green would be odd, orange would be worse…

His eyes caught on a little bottle near the base of the racks. It was a plain, pretty blue; nothing special, yet calming. Sea You Later! the base read when he picked it up. Lily made an approving noise over his shoulder. “That’s cute.”

“It’s not bad.”

“Looks like Sirius’ shirt, actually. The one with the dogs on it?”

Remus rolled the bottle around for a moment. “It really does, now that you mention it. Huh.”

She patted his hip and went back to the shiny, shimmery ones on the right. “You should give it a shot.”

---------------------------------------

Painting nails took a really, really long time. Much longer than Remus was anticipating when he hesitantly rested his hands on the towel and tried not to think about how much bigger they were than Lily’s. He felt awkward in a place like this, where everyone seemed so put-together and comfortable.

His worries were quickly dispelled when the nail artist began rubbing the tension from his joints with peony-scented lotion; he immediately relaxed into her touch, letting the calluses from sticks and weights be soothed. Judging from her pleased hum when she inspected his nails, he hadn’t accidentally been butchering them his whole life—the scrape of the nail file made him grimace, but she didn’t have to do much before a coat of clear polish went on.

“It’s a protector,” Lily said at his confused look. “So your nails stay healthy and don’t turn yellow.”

“This is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be,” Remus muttered as he stuck his hands underneath the miniature fan.

The nail artist laughed as she rolled her chair to Lily’s station. “First time?”

“Yeah. I can’t imagine you get a lot of guys in here.”

She shrugged. “More than you’d think, I bet. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your hands to look nice, and a pop of color never hurt anybody.”

“Good point.”

The clear polish—base coat, Lily said with a teasing smile—dried quickly, and soon two perfect layers of blue shone under the bright lamp. Lily’s design was much more complex than his own, with shimmery bits and spiraled paint, but he liked the simplicity. It even matched his socks.

Lily and the nail artist chatted the whole time, swapping stories about summer activities and everything that had happened since she last visited; Remus waited patiently with his fingertips under the fan and people-watched as the sun grew higher in the sky.

After an hour, they were finally done, and Remus couldn’t stop rubbing his hands together as they headed back outside until Lily smacked his arm. “Stop it, you look like a Disney villain.”

“I’m sorry, they’re just so soft!” He brought his hands to his face and breathed in the soft floral scent. “Here, feel.”

“I’m not going to feel your hands.”

“Feel them.” When she shook her head and kept walking, he jogged ahead and held them out, palms-up. “Lily! Feel my hands!”

“Alright, fine!” she laughed, grabbing them both. Her eyebrows rose. “Damn, they are soft.”

“Told you so.”

“That color looks really good on you, too.”

“Yeah?” Remus looked down at the polish again, smiling to himself. There was just something about them that made him happy. “They match my socks.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” He reached down and pulled his pantleg up, startling a snort out of Lily.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said as she linked their arms again. “Did you have fun?”

“It was nice,” Remus said with a shrug. “I don’t know if I’ll go back a lot, but I had a good time listening to you two talk.”

Lily nodded, looking quite self-satisfied. “Good. I bet Sirius will get a kick out of them.”

“You think so?”

“For sure. He always likes mine.”

Remus thought back to the many, many times Lily had displayed her freshly-done nails to them with great pride; Sirius did have a penchant for colorful and sparkly things, after all. Why should his ordinary blue nails be any different?

Lily made sure to take an obligatory Instagram photo of their hands before they entered the house, then immediately laid out in front of the fan by the back door while she uploaded it. “Hey, Lily, it’s good to see you, too,” Sirius said drily as he came in from the backyard. “I’m good, thanks for asking. It’s pretty hot out there, but—”

“Shut up,” she laughed, grabbing the back of his ankle when he stepped over her. “Where’s my lover?”

“Your husband is tormenting my dog,” he called over his shoulder before winding his arms around Remus’ waist for a kiss. “Bonjour, mon amour.”

“Hey, you.” Remus bumped their noses together with a grin he could never even try to hold down. “You know how I never half-ass things?”

“Mhmm.”

He held his fingers up. “Ta-da!”

“Oh, pretty.” Sirius’ eyes went wide as he took one of Remus’ hands. “Your hands are so soft!”

“I know, right?”

“He made me feel them!” Lily groaned from the floor. “It was so weird.”

“You love it!” Remus shot back before leaning onto his tiptoes to kiss Sirius’ forehead. “I figured you’d like the blue.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t do green.”

Heat rose to his cheeks, and it had nothing to do with the sunshine. “It’s your favorite color, right? Not too green, not too purple. Reminded me of you.”

Sirius’ eyes grew impossibly soft and he cupped Remus’ jaw, pulling him in for an unhurried kiss that melted his brain into his toes. “Je t’aime.”

“Love you, too,” he breathed. His face was definitely redder than a fire engine by that point, but he hardly cared.

There was a light squeeze around his hand. “These look really nice.”

A spark of joy lit in Remus’ chest. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Ugh, love,” Lily scoffed, despite the fact that James was pressing a million and one kisses to her neck as he hugged her from behind. 6

Sirius thumped his forehead on Remus’ collarbone. “You are the worst sister-in-law of all time.”

“I know,” she said with a smug smile, tilting her head to kiss James’ cheek. “Hi, lover.”

“Hi. Your nails are so beautiful.”

“I didn’t get them in your favorite color. Sorry.”

“I’ll never recover,” James sighed. “Well, at least we’re not a terrible rom-com cliché.”

Remus flipped him off over Sirius’ shoulder; the nail polish gave the gesture a little extra oomph that certainly canceled out the grin that made his whole face ache.

[liam-93-productions]

This weekend it’s the UK’s biggest event on the entertainment calendar, with the 74th EE British Academy of Film and Television Awards taking place at the Albert Hall with guests and nominees attending virtually for the first time, thanks to Covid-19. And while the awards promise to be as exciting as possible in these unprecedented times, on Sunday night we will also be treated to another exciting world-first in the form of Liam Payne being beamed into houses up and down the country while performing for the opening of the ceremony.

Yup, if you’ve ever fancied the former One Direction crooner serenading you at the end of your bed, on Sunday you can make your dreams a reality – or augmented reality – as Liam has joined forces with the EE network to create a 3D avatar hologram of himself that can be beamed through the app ‘The Round’ (available on any mobile device) as he performs at the Albert Hall. Super fans can also get to experience the avatar in their homes, or on-the-go, ahead of the performance, if they tune in via the app at 6.45pm, 15 minutes before the hologram joins real Liam on stage to perform.

GLAMOUR caught up with Liam to discuss this sci-fi sounding excitement as well as hear how the past year has treated him. In a wide-ranging chat with the ever-charming Liam, we covered all things from the struggles of lockdown and coping with his mental health to his former bandmates, burgeoning acting career, new music (...).

Is the fact that you're performing at the BAFTAs a sign that your acting career is on the rise?

I've done a lot of auditions, a lot of tapes. The thing about acting somebody told me, it’s very much like: are you right for the part and is the part right for you? I think it takes a lot of talent, luck and judgment going into acting to actually get into a job. I mean, hat's off to anybody who does it because it's a long process. I seem to get through to like the final five or final three people for every role and then not quite get it. Which is frustrating but, you know, that’s how it goes. I've had a fair few auditions and I was lucky enough to get into the final five again for one audition that I got to meet Steven Spielberg [a couple of years ago] on my 25th birthday which was quite amazing. But it's been fairly slow through the pandemic obviously.

And what about music? Have you been writing anything, or even been in the studio?

I'm going to the studio later on today actually, to record something for the first time in a while. Which is quite weird to be traveling back into London to go into work. I've been doing some stuff from home as well, which has been quite interesting. Zoom sessions don't really work out all that well, it's very difficult. I'm sure a lot of musicians will agree. So, it's been kind of hard to work properly during this half of the pandemic. The other first half of the pandemic, I just did these live shows, which was really amazing to play live and do them online, which was kind of strange... It's been difficult in terms of the creative process for me.

The past year has been challenging for absolutely everyone, no matter their circumstances. How has it affected you on a personal and a professional level?

In the first half of it, I was so busy that I didn't really notice it as much, except for having to do a lot of stuff myself without crew and learning to do hair and makeup was kind of a weird experience. But then this second half, I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit and I'm sure many people experienced it. Just not being able to go anywhere, not be able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself.

You’ve bravely spoken about struggling with your mental health in the past, and you say now that you did go into a bit of a dark place recently, how have you coped with that?

I think it's an ongoing experience. For me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards. And I think that's something that I've always struggled with. So, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today. So, it's been nice in that respect. But I think for a lot of people it's difficult, and I definitely took for granted how much I miss my family. I'm used to being away from home, I'm used to being abroad and not seeing very much of them. But I'd always see them at a show or at something once a year. And then now that that's all been taken away, it's been a lot to not see my family and realise how much they actually ground me.

So, what have you found helpful or supportive during the past year? Have you turned to anything to get you through these dark times?

Friends that are there for you... [talking to] one of my managers that I'm quite close with. I think a lot of guys struggle to talk about what the hell is going on a lot of the time. And for me and him, actually we're quite heart on our sleeves sort of people, so we talk a lot about different things. But I think if I didn't have that, someone to share that with, I think I would have struggled a hell of a lot more.

Like a mental health mate?

I mean, we literally talk about everything. We're probably too honest with each other! But I think it's important that everybody has that person. I'll be honest, at the start of this, drinking definitely became a lot more of a thing because there just didn't seem to be any boundaries. I wouldn't say I drank too much, I'd say I drank too often. Just through the boredom, I guess. A lot of people were going through that though I think - there was so many funny, great memes about it I saw friends of mine put up. But it can be quite dark at times. I think the only thing that's really helped me through that is just learning to work out again and learning to put boundaries in for myself in terms of what food I'm eating. As a pop star, I think you're always quite weight conscious. My job has always been about having to work out, doing underwear modelling and all that sort of thing, it makes you quite body conscious at times. It was nice to be able to just sit and eat pizza and chocolate, I really enjoyed that. But getting myself back into the habit of working out and then having a cheat day put in place, so that there was more boundaries in line, I think has definitely helped me.

I'm quite fortunate that I don't put a stack of weight on, although I have gone up rather a lot in size over this time. But I think it was more about routine for me than anything. And I always say, having a small victory before you get into bed at night time. Or life just gets depressing. Whether that small victory is making sure you've spoken to a family member, you've worked out, or whether you did learn to do something today, just something small. There's one task that you literally can't be arsed with, you should get done just on the day, so that you feel good about yourself when you get into bed.

That's so important. So, do you almost have a checklist before you go to bed?

I think as long as I make the gym and I've done that bit and I've taken care of my needs, just cooked some nice food. That's mainly it for me, really. And then I feel good about it. (...)

(...)

Moving on to social media, you've obviously got such a massively positive fan base, but how do you cope with the negative side of social media and the impact that can have on your mental health?

I struggled with it for a long time. I argued with people. I was aggressive on their points trying to fight my own side. And I think for some people you are talking to a brick wall, you will not win and there's no point trying. And also, the more you talk about it, the worse it gets. So, I just shut up and put up a lot of the time. I think it's the Queen that says, "never complain or never explain." And that's something I think myself I do live by because it's just like, with some people it gets worse having the argument and trying to explain yourself. But all of it, it's like five minutes of your life for somebody who doesn't know you, it's just a bit pointless.

You have so much intense public scrutiny on you all the time, how do you navigate keeping something back for yourself, and how have you managed to maintain that sense of privacy over the years?

I think this has been one of my biggest struggles this whole time. Because, I'm very much a heart on the sleeve sort of person. I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away…But it's definitely a difficult one to flick the two people apart. So that you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person. That's always something I've really struggled with.

And you've been famous since the age of 16. How did you manage growing up in that sort of public glare?

Never did! [laughs] My friend was [recently] talking about how he’s got a teenage son that he was really struggling with at the moment. And I was thinking, "oh my God, imagine how much people would have struggled having five teenagers, rowdy boys in a band. It must've been terrible, there's no getting through to them!" And for a while, it probably was. I think we all go through that awkward teen phase where you're finding yourself. And most of us, we get to get away with it. And they're funny family photos for later on; here was your emo phase or whatever you went through! And for us, we never got away with being awkward or annoying at points. It was kind of out there for everyone to see; the awful haircuts and we’re talking terrible clothes, it was all out there.

What has your career taught you about the idea of success and the idea of failure?

I think it's taught me lots about how you would measure success. I came from a family that weren't very well off. We didn't have a lot. My dad was in debt actually when I started. So, success for me always meant a monetary thing to start off with. But then as I got older, I realized I don't really buy all that much. I don't really spend a hell of a lot of money. So, it can't be about a money sort of thing. And it's more now become more about happiness and experiences. And the one thing I always say about my job, no matter what, and everybody gets annoyed at their job sometimes, it is what it is. But for me, at least I get to put a smile on someone's face.

Yes, you do! And what has it taught you about failure?

That's a really good question. It’s taught me I think that perseverance will always prevail in that sense. Because it doesn't always go exactly to plan. We were really lucky when we came up, we absolutely skyrocketed. And then, it's been hard to follow that ever since. But you know, measuring a failure as well. What is a failure? And people will look at this and, for us sometimes getting a 100,000,000 streams isn't quite what we aim for, but it's still 100,000,000 streams….you have to kind of get a hold of yourself. Everything is about perspective at the end of the day, isn't it? That was something I struggled with for a long time, because of how well it went [for the band.]

So you had such high expectations for everything?

Yeah. And it's like, time to give that a break really. And Louis from my band has always been quite great to sit with me and talk with me about stuff. And if I'm feeling a certain way. We've been quite good with each other, actually in that respect and helping each other out, which has been nice.

And finally, if you could sit down with the Liam who was starting out in One Direction in 2010, what advice would you have for him?

I think just have more fun and relax a little bit. I think I was a very serious child, one of those man-childs, I was a man in a child's body pretty early on. And I think I would have avoided that stage, to be honest with you. To enter One Direction as that difficult, because it just meant that I got completely a different job to everybody else.

You were the grown up one?

That was it. And it was boring. I should have just larked around and thrown plates out the window and stuff!

More rock and roll?

Well, I mean at the start, and then later on a bit less rock and roll [laughing.]

Well, thank you so much, Liam. And we look forward to seeing your performance on Sunday at the BAFTAs.

I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.

Liam Payne is performing an exclusive EE BAFTA AR real-time music performance, ahead of his 5G-powered opening show at the 2021 EE BAFTA Film Awards. Download ‘The Round’ app to enjoy the live AR experience through your mobile phone, wherever you are, this Sunday 11th April 2021 at 18:45pm BST.

[kyberphilosopher]

Mᴏʀɴɪɴɢ Lɪɢʜᴛ

Word Count: 2061

“The Sun card represents radiance. Like the sun itself, it gives strength and vitality to all those that are lucky enough to feel its rays. There is much joy and happiness that is coming to you. On the other hand, the Sun reversed might be indicative that you are being unrealistic. It might be a sign that you have an overly optimistic perception of certain situations. Be warned, for when the sun ceases to shine on you, depression is soon to follow.” - ‘The Sun’ Tarot Card; Full Meaning.

Tap Tap Tap. 

How early was it? Too early. You knew you had training today, but you were certain that wasn’t for another few hours. So what was that insufferable tapping for?

Tap... Tap Tap. 

You shift against your pillow. You can feel your hair stick against your neck, in sync with the tightening fist by your face. Your eyes do open, slowly but surely. You feel groggy, despite the growing alertness inside of you. You’re waking up. What’s more, you’re waking up before you really have to. 

Tap... Tap. 

Your sleepy eyes search around the room. Behind the glass of the window, you can make out a blurry image of yellow and pale skin. Still, you’re exhausted. It could be a silly little trick pulled by your own brain. But on the off chance that it is-

Annie. 

You sit up. Your vision is still smeared like oil, but you stumble out of bed. Your heel skims against the wood of the floor. It probably gave you a splinter, but now that you’ve started thinking about her, you know it’d be difficult to stop. 

You partially hop to the window across from your bed. Your right hand reaches out to unlatch the thing, while the left rubs at your eyes to get the gift of clear sight. As you turn the wood to the right to unlock it, you step back and away. 

The blond handles the rest. Her palms slip under the window and pull it up, and then she pushes herself through. She brushes the clear white curtains to the side and lands on the floor, just as your vision returns to you.  

She’s wearing her favorite white sweatshirt, and standard brown slacks. There’s ODM gear at her hips, complete with all the strappings and buckles. But her face... oh, her face. Despite the time apart, it’s the same one you’d fallen in love with. The big, still blue eyes were gazing at the wood she landed on. Her pale blond hair is pulled back in the usual bun, her bangs hanging loose as always. But her lips look shinier today. Perhaps she tried the new lip tint you’d bought the last time you’d gone shopping. 

“Annie,” you sighed with a soft smile. Any kind of stress you’d been feeling in the past few weeks without her was fading away, at long last. You knew she’d see you again soon, but you hadn’t realized she’d pick today. She must’ve wanted to surprise you. 

Annie’s right hand reaches up to rub the back of her neck. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t be up yet.” The girl looks your form up and down. “Or dressed.”

One of your feet rubs against the opposite shin. She’s not wrong. You’re wearing an oversized white shirt and cheap underwear that she can’t even see. Your hair is a mess, your eyes groggy, and your breath making your own throat want to gag. But you’re overwhelmed with happiness to finally see her again. 

“Yes you did,” you challenge firmly, but tiredly. 

Annie’s eyes soften. You’re right. She could picture your tired form in her head long before she’d even set out to surprise you. That and the fact that she’d purposely arrived before the morning chimes. 

“Whatever,” you wave off. You step towards her, your heart reaching out to hers. Her chest is like a magnet to your own. 

Your arms stretch out to embrace her. And you do. Tugging her to you, you feel her warmth. Her chest and neck flushed against yours, feeling your heartbeats fall into sync. Annie smells so good. She always has, but it must be that body wash the Military Police get to use. 

Annie is everything to you. The attraction was immediate, and the build up of trust came naturally over time. Despite the two introverted natures, you spent time together. You ate silent dinners, went through the motions of the days with each other. You taught Annie more about life and perspective more than she cared to admit, and in turn, she had made you feel more confident in your own character. It became fact among the cadets that where either you or Annie was found, the other was never far behind. 

And then, sometime in the midst of it all, the dynamic changed. 

Your faces got closer when you pinned the other down during sparring. You’d share your food from the same spoon when there wasn’t enough. Even begun sharing the same shower. You’d always thought Annie was attractive, but now the attraction was rapidly becoming a solid, almost tangible force. 

The heat radiating between the two of you was undeniable. One night, in the top bunk of your barracks, she crept into your bed and shared a kiss. It was wet and sloppy, but you were close to her. You didn’t care about the lack of experience from either of you. Annie mattered to you. You wanted to be with her, and apparently she felt the same.

Things were never made official by title, but you were even more inseparable than before. You’d witnessed her threaten Reiner for both hitting on you and insulting you on separate occasions. You judo flipped a boy for getting handsy with her. You went to winter markets, stargazed, and spent late nights sparring ending in clumsy make-out sessions. You loved her. You’d do anything for her. You’d already made a nonverbal promise to each other that you’d grow and mature together. What more could you ask for?

“I really missed you,” you admit, taking her in as much as you can. Annie sinks into your touch, closing her eyes in affection. 

“Yeah,” she replies, which is her own way of letting it slip that she missed you too. Both her hands come to rest under your elbows, effectively keeping them in place around her. Pft, as if you were going to remove them for longer than a split second anyway.

“So,” you drawl as you saunter back to your bed. You collapse on it, rubbing the space next to you as a call for Annie. “Tell me what I’ve been missing. The MP’s still treating you alright?”

Annie shifts and averts her eyes in thought. Then she follows your lead, sitting on the edge of the bed as she starts to unbuckle her harnesses. “It’s the same,” she tells you. 

“I know you don’t like them, Ann.  You don’t have to pretend.”

And with anybody else, Annie would’ve been quick to annoyance. But with you, she was glad. Even though she definitely didn’t tell you the truth about everything, she knew she could still be herself around you. She knew you could sense she kept some secrets from you still, but you’d never forced the issue. Everything about your love was focused on understanding. It was more than the girl thought she deserved. 

“What about the Scouts?” Annie decides in return. It’s a tactic at changing the subject, and one that doesn’t slip past you. Still, you don’t push. 

“Just as annoying as we thought. I have to officially get up and at ‘em in a few hours.”

Your lover unties her boots. “Have you been outside the wall yet?”

She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear you say your piece anyway. 

“No,” you sigh. Your hand rests on your forehead, your elbow bent as you stare up at the ceiling. “We have our first expedition this week. We’re taking Jaeger out to try the Commander’s new strategy.”

Annie freezes. Then she continues her movement. “Right. I’d almost forgotten Eren was here.”

You doubted that. “The bastard talked about the Scouts non stop back in cadet training,” you say as Annie twists around to face you. “You sure you didn’t hit your head on the way over here?”

Annie doesn’t answer. But she does gift a hint of a smile. It’s gone in a flash, but it’s more than others get. 

Her ice blue eyes pierce into yours. It’s not threatening, however. It’s loving. Appreciating. She’s trying to memorize all the details inside of them like she’s about to do so for the last time. 

Then Annie lowers head head slowly, until it rests by the crook of your neck. 

“You got up early to see me today,” you say softly. 

Your love shifts off of you, and props her up on her elbow at her side. You mirror her movements to observe her as well. 

“I skinned my knee climbing from my barracks. My gear was giving me trouble.”

Some people may have expressed concern, but you knew your other half was strong. She didn’t need your pity. “Well maybe you shouldn’t have done that,” you shrug with snark back. 

“Heh, thanks,” she responds, looking down to stare at your white cotton sheets. 

There is quiet. The sunlight illuminates her hair. Her long eyelashes flutter up and down slowly. Annie is beautiful. No. Annie surpasses the boundaries of being beautiful. 

“Y/N,” she whispers. “Would you love me, if I were evil?”

What?

“What did you say?”

Silence. Annie doesn’t look at you. She seems solemn, troubled. Haunted, even. No, not quite haunted. Maybe just hollow. 

“Nothing,” Annie says decidedly. “I’m just muttering.”

You frown anyway. You know that Annie is weighed down by things that you can’t explain, or understand. It’s different from other soldiers, or just other people. But you didn’t think there was anything she could do to be evil. You had already shown and told her that you were in love with her. You wouldn’t go back on that if you even could. 

Annie was your world. Your lion. Your entire purpose for even making it this far. 

One of your hands reaches out to brush her fringe behind her ear. “I’d always be on your side,” you tell her softly. “There’s nothing you could do to change that.”

You’d be surprised, thought Annie. 

“I didn’t mean to be depressing,” she mutters further. “I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

Annie is sad today. 

Both of your arms wrap around her slim figure. You pull her close to you, so her head is between your chest and your neck. Both your bodies cradle against each other as you stroke the soft strands of yellow hair. The sun is seeping through the windows for only a passing moment, before it is covered by a blanket of grey clouds. 

“Let’s go back to sleep,” you whisper to her, your eyes transfixed on the drops of rain hitting the roof one by one. 

“I am sorry,” you hear her speak against your shirt. 

You pull away, your palms against her cheeks so you can look at her stunning face. “Don’t ever apologize to me, Annie.” What more can you say to reassure her? “I’m with you.”

Annie is heartbroken inside. Maybe it was better that she didn’t say anything. Or maybe it was better in another timeline, where you knew. But Annie kept her mouth shut and tried to just relax her nerves. There was no reason to wake up feeling as guilty as she had. She was with you now. You would protect her against the nightmares with her father, or Reiner. Nothing to be afraid of. 

“After this,” Annie says as you coax her head back against your body. “I’ll buy you one of those breakfast sweets you like so much. From the village.”

The rain taps against your window. The sun has all but disappeared by now. Surely the open window mixed with sheets of light rain will result in a damp floor, but there’s no way in hell either of you are going to get up and close it now. Instead you watch the water fall, thinking about how the shade of the sun matches that of your lovers mane. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

I wrote this really fast. I just really love Annie and wanted to give her some appreciation. A weak plot, but oh well. 

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Mike Damone

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Mikes pretty infamous at your school. Pretty much the entire student body knows who he is; mainly because they’ve bought tickets off of him at one point or another.

- Everyone knows Mike and Mike knows everyone so it’s no surprise that you’d encounter him at some point; even if your initial meeting was a memorable half a second of him checking you out while you both walked to your separate classes.

- When Mike first sees you, he honestly doesn’t think twice about you. He sees you, he processes that you’re decent looking, and then he moves on. He only starts to take real notice of you when you seem completely disinterested in his existence.

- That sounds pretty harsh but it’s the truth. Later that day, he sees you at your locker and he approaches you, introducing himself and making his usual charming conversation. And while you’re arguably incredibly polite, you’re just not into him.

- And for some reason that bothers the hell out of him.

- If it were anyone else, it would have never mattered, and he sincerely does not understand why you’re any different. But the more he thinks about it, the more it bothers him and the more he wants you. Which leads to his pursuit of you.

- Mike likes to act like he doesn’t care; he really does, and he’s gotten pretty good at playing the part, so he always seems pretty nonchalant whenever he approaches you and tries to start a conversation; no matter how little time of day you’ll give him.

- But inside, he is losing his mind. His smile always drops whenever you aren’t looking at him and he lays in bed at night thinking about every tiny amount of attention you give him. He wants to hate you, and maybe he does, but more than that …he thinks he loves you.

- Your usual “avoidance” of him leads to him feeling like a kid on Christmas when you finally talk to him on your own accord; though it’s definitely just to try and purchase tickets. He gives you a ridiculously good deal and is on his best behavior the entire time, trying to charm you as much as he can while you’re actually paying attention to him.

- And to an extent, it does work. He was really sweet and did you a big favor so you felt a little more obligated to play nice. So instead of completely blowing him off, you made an effort to greet him in the halls, sometimes willingly talking with him for a few minutes or giving him a compliment every now and again.

- He’ll talk a big game around other people; mainly Mark, telling him that he’s got you in the bag or somewhat jokingly saying that you’re all over him, but it’s just to save face and keep up his overly confident façade.

- Regardless, you finally agree to let him take you out around a year or so after the two of you first meet. He’d probably asked you out or tried to hint at the two of you potentially hanging out dozens of times but this was the only one you actually accepted which made him do an internal double take.

- There was nothing different about his approach, he played suave, he told you what he was planning on doing that Friday night and then he invited you to join him. But this time you actually agreed, as though it were totally normal, he was compelled to ask if you were feeling all right.

- For your first date, he takes you to the mall and you spend the afternoon/evening going into different stores, grabbing a bite to eat at the food court and so on and so forth.

- You didn’t expect it but the two of you actually hit it off pretty well once you gave him a chance and kept an open mind. He was frustratingly smooth most of the time but he was also sweet and made you laugh.

- And he was on cloud nine; especially when you absentmindedly grabbed his hand while leading him somewhere or walking through a crowd. He enjoyed your company so much that trying to kiss you completely slipped his mind until after you were already back inside your house later that night.

- You share your first kiss after he walks you home from school one day; maybe after the two of you go on a few more dates. You’re standing at your front door and you’re trying to say goodbye when you sort of just look at each other and begin to lean in.

- After a minute or so, you pull away and when you do, you invite him in for a drink; an offer he eagerly takes. So he comes in, you get him his drink and the two of you spend the next half hour making out on your bed; but that’s besides the point.

- You kissed him and now you’re gonna see if you’ll regret it.

- There’s a lot of Pda in your relationship but a good amount of it is sexually charged or the sort of affection that fits his cool guy attitude. He’s proud of you and wants to be touching you at all times but he doesn’t want to look like a wuss while he does it.

- He puts his arm around your shoulders a lot. He’d probably try to do it even before the two of you started dating so it barely even phases you at this point.

- Neck and jaw kisses.

-  Soft, sometimes sort of clumsy kisses. Mike acts like a ladies man but he’s been with very few girls so he doesn’t have a whole lot of kissing experience under his belt.

- You definitely have the capability to make him drunk with your kisses. You put him in a daze and get him wrapped around your little finger the minute your lips touch his.

- Making out a lot. It’s pretty much his favorite thing to do; though he secretly really likes all your innocent and doting affection.

- Sitting in his lap.

- He doesn’t use a ton of pet names but he does throw a couple of them at you from time to time, namely babe, sweetheart or princess.

- He likes to pretend that he doesn’t care for cuddling but he isn’t convincing anybody with his halfhearted complaining and nonexistent resistance while you pull him in. When you do cuddle, you’ll usually lay facing each other with your head tucked under his chin; or occasionally with his tucked under yours.

- He’s definitely a lot sweeter and softer with you when the two of you are alone together. He feels the need to keep up a reputation while you’re out in public so you only get to see his real, loving personality when you’re by yourselves.

- Su casa es mi casa. After his first visit to your home, you might as well consider him a roommate because he sure as shit acts like it’s his house.

- He’s usually too shy or embarrassed to tell you that he legitimately missed you and just wanted to see you so whenever he drops by, he’ll make up some excuse for him to be there; even though it would be perfectly in his right to answer “what are you doing here” with “I just wanted to see you”.

- He knows how to appear cool; whether it’s a conscious effort for him or not, so he usually has little trouble when trying to impress you. Either way, you’re pretty proud to have him for a boyfriend and your praise consistently makes him wanna to act up.

- He definitely tries to act like people he think you’d find impressive are his friends; even though you probably already know he’s bullshitting you. You just halfheartedly let him believe he’s fooled you.

- Sitting around sorta bored while he tries to swindle people. You get interrupted by his business quite a lot.

- Getting walked home from school.

- If you’ve got a car then you’ll usually pick him up and drive him to or from school; or wherever else, because fun fact: that wasn’t his car that Linda spray painted, it was his moms!

- He has a habit of “fixing you”. He’s always plucking things from your hair or clothes, adjusting your shirt, smoothing out your jacket, etc. Sometimes he pretends like he’s doing something just to annoy you or have an excuse to touch you.

- Consistently looking at your ass.

- Whenever you ask him for a favor, he’ll always tell you that you owe him before begrudgingly doing whatever it is. That being said, after he does it, he’ll usually “forget” that you owe him or tell you to forget about it; or settle for a kiss as payment.

- No ones allowed to know but he’s legitimately whipped for you. It might not seem like it but behind the scenes, he’s bending over backwards to make sure that you’re happy.

- Mall dates. It’s your #1 hangout spot. He’s the boyfriend who shamefully holds your hand as you drag him from one girly shop to the next.

- Concert dates.

- Renting vhs tapes and watching them together.

- Mike has a full on bar area in his room so if you’re down to drink, he has the liquor. Although, to be honest, I think he’d secretly be one of those guys who wouldn’t let you get drunk because you’re his girlfriend and he cares about you. He’d teasingly refuse to give you any before allowing you to have a tiny glass.

- I feel like his parents aren’t home a lot during weekdays; because of work or what have you, so you’ll probably hang out more at his house than yours; unless your parents also usually aren’t home.

- He usually ends up eating dinner by himself and spending most days at home alone so he’ll oftentimes call you up and have you come over. You mostly just end up hanging out and eating in his bedroom while watching television together.

- He lowkey likes stupid old tv shows so the two of you marathon them whenever they’re on tv.

- Going to his house to listen to your favorite music because it’s the 80s and he’s got a whole fucking music station set up in his room. He’s also got more albums than anyone you know.

- Occasionally, he’ll fiddle around with his keyboard while you’re at his place and you’ll convince him to teach you a few little jingles while he’s at it.

- I think that every now and again he’d surprise you with a little gift, oftentimes nonchalantly telling you not to mention it or not to worry about it. He’d probably say something like “how did that get there” and teasingly pretending like it wasn’t him, secretly reveling in the smile on your face and the way you kiss his cheek.

- Him stealing your food.

- Trying to hold back your laughter as he jokingly serenades you.

- Stealing and wearing his sunglasses.

- Ratner third wheeling. The boy gets to see a whole new side of his friend; a side that makes him seem much more down to earth, because even though Mike will pretend like he’s the same playboy, it’s easy to see that he really loves you.

- Giving Ratner advice when he needs a different approach to girls or anything else in life.

- Motivational talks. He might not be the most eloquent but he’s definitely the most supportive when it comes to people he cares about.

- Lots of teasing. It’s his favorite thing to do besides make money.

- He loves messing with you so expect to be annoyed with him quite a lot: whether it be because he threw you in the pool, shocked you, or pretended like you had something on you.

- Defending him when people insult him. Quite a few people don’t understand why you’re with him so expect a few comments from your friends, family, or just random people you know.

- He tries to act nonchalant whenever he’s jealous but it rarely ever works. He usually ends up either having a smug look on his face; because he knows you have no interest in them, or he’ll try to get information out of you about them, maybe making fun of them a little while he’s at it.

- Mike isn’t incredibly protective, he’ll usually leave you to solve things on your own, but if the problem is serious enough, he’ll get involved. He’ll try to walk away with you, maybe say something snide to the other person or about the situation, but he isn’t scared to throw hands if need be.

- Mike is pretty good at keeping his composure but certain situations just make him lose it so sometimes he’ll say something he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment and regret it later.

- He tends to avoid his problems rather than try and fix them which might lead to him avoiding you after a fight. That being said, he isn’t above apologizing and will always do so is he knows he did something wrong or made you upset.

- He’s a bit embarrassed to tell you that he loves you so he’ll usually only say it after you say it to him.

- Mike certainly isn’t the best boyfriend, he definitely has some maturing to do, so it’s up to you to decide if you want to stick around and wait for it to happen. Just know that he likes you a lot; even if he doesn’t always act the greatest.

[felassan]

Check out this video interview with Mark Darrah, ‘On Anthem’s Launch, Dev Advice, And Leaving BioWare’. It’s interesting and pretty substantial. He talks about a bunch of different things, including his YouTube channel, things BioWare could’ve done differently, crunch, whether he’ll write a book about his gamedev experiences, gamedev pitfalls, Anthem’s troubled development, the development of projects he worked on including DA2, cancelled projects (and what happened to them) including Jade Empire 2 / ‘Jade Modern’ / Revolver and Mass Effect: Corsair, the reasons why he left BioWare and Dragon Age 4.

I recc giving the whole thing a watch, but if you’re not able to, here are the Dragon Age 4-related quotes and other especially interesting-to-me portions transcribed for ur convenience! (under a cut due to length):

Mark: "There is a tendency for projects that are small to think they're amazing, because it's so much easier. Like when I ran Sonic [Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood] - it was a 20 person team - it's just so much easier to make things go smoothly than when you have a 200 person team. So I think that we've made progress, but as Dragon Age pivots into production and that team gets bigger and bigger, it will be interesting to see if that's true or if it's just the blindness of being a small team. Like when Inquisition was in the throes of shipping, both Mass Effect: Andromeda and Anthem would love to talk about how they were 'doing things right!' and then they fell in totally different holes, but still fell in a bunch of holes after Inquisition shipped. So I do think that there is a hubris that comes from a project in early development where you feel like this time you've figured it out."

---    Mark: “As Dragon Age [4] was moving towards production, I could see that like, the team, I've been told by people that they've never met a team that more wants to be in production than Dragon Age team. But what ended up happening was, in order for the team to really explore the space properly, we had to sort've train them to be in pre-production. But that meant that that team no longer really wanted to be in production, they wanted to be in pre-production. And so, looking at what was going to be required to pivot that team into production, it wasn't a challenge that I thought I was up to any longer. I think that team, once they get into the mindset, is capable of moving entire mountains, and will move entire mountains, but they need someone that can lead them through that."

Interviewer: “Yeah, from the outside it's striking that you and Casey Hudson left at the same time. It sort’ve definitely implies a ‘fuck this’ moment for the two of you. If it was just you saying ‘I can’t do it’ then it’s understandable.”

Mark: “Yeah, no, I mean, it’s hilarious, because, we definitely were not coordinated. That was, as near as I can determine, there was nothing that triggered us on the same moment other than maybe just a sort’ve mounting, just, like, this friction, being at the, I would say, the GM and EP, the point at which the [something?] friction and the project friction meet, and you’re just sort of grinding there. But I don’t think there was a massive injection of anything late last year that triggered that. Not that I can point to. For me, yeah, I do think it was, weirdly, a coincidence. Casey and I have stayed in touch, we didn’t leave to go form a studio together or anything.”

---

Interviewer: “Are you being torn apart a little bit internally about that pressure of, ‘I know if I just made a video that said, The Secrets of Dragon Age - not even Dragon Age 4, whatever the hell that thing’s called at this point - but just, The Secrets of Dragon Age: Origins’, like, you know that  audience surely would show up. I imagine there’s that community that’s screaming at you, like, ‘Tell us something we don’t know about Dragon Age, tell us about the future!!’, versus, trying to play it a little more straight and actually offer gamedev advice.”

Mark: “Yeah, for sure, absolutely, like, looking at, there is an entire segment of YouTube which is ‘Dragon Age fans talking about Dragon theories and watching the trailers and picking them apart’ and I could do that, and that would be, I feel like that would almost destructive to everybody, because I could deflate all the theories, some of which are completely completely wrong, some of which are amazingly right. But I think, like, I don’t think the community actually wants that. They might sort’ve think they do, but I think if I just sort’ve pulled away the curtain, I think it’d be like, ‘Ohh.. but now what are we gonna talk about? :(’ Like I don’t think that anybody wants that honestly. It would be great for my metrics but I don’t think anyone really wants that.”

Interviewer: “And not to offer you advice, but like I think there’s somewhere in the middle. Like when they have the next teaser trailer for the next Dragon Age project, you could do a reaction video to that and it would be your most viewed thing by a mile, and you wouldn’t be stepping on anybody’s toes.”

Mark: “Yeah, I have thought about that exact thing. Cause we’ve now moved, I think, beyond the horizon of anything that comes out of Dragon Age at this point, like if they’re at EA Play, and I don’t know if they’re at EA Play or not, then whatever that is will be something that I didn’t have anything to do with, so we’re reaching the point where I can now, I feel like, start to provide, yeah, reaction videos from the perspective of, an incredibly well-informed outsider.”

---

Interviewer: “And you must know, even though you’re not inside the studio, like, just have an appreciation how much that [MELE’s good success and good reception] can do for the studio’s morale. I’d imagine it’s just night and day.”

Mark: “Oh, absolutely, like. Andromeda and Anthem being the last two things before the remaster, that is a cloud that hangs above the studio for sure.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, I mean I remember visiting for Dragon Age: Inquisition, it must have been, and it was still, like, the Mass Effect 3 ending, I feel like, even visiting the studio for two days, you could feel that like, funk, of just like ‘ugh, good Christ, we’ve gotten the crap kicked out of us’.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean. The Mass endings is an interesting one for me. Because, it’s not the choices I would have made to end the game, but those are the choices that were made. I wonder... I don’t like ultimatums, and I feel like with Mass 3, the team kind’ve gave into an ultimatum. The community was so angry that we then released new better endings to ‘fix it’, and it’s not that that’s a bad piece of content, that’s a good piece of content, but I just worry that, the internet today, seems almost like... a reaction to the Mass 3 endings. Almost like, the internet learned that if you just yell loud enough you get what you want. And I don’t think that’s real, because it’s Mass Effect, it’s not Star Wars.”

Interviewer: “But I mean, if it wasn’t the ending of Mass Effect 3, it would have been something else in that era of Voices On The Internet Being So loud that it causes a big company to pivot and be like ‘Okay, we’ll try and make you a little bit happier, please just relax everybody’.”

Mark: “Yeah, totally. So I mean, I don’t think Mass Effect bears the brunt of the blame of toxic fan culture. But certainly it’s one of the very first examples of that culture managing to make something happen.”

---

Mark: “Now I do feel that maybe I overlearned that lesson, because, something that I did a lot on Anthem was talk about how, you know, ‘this is not a BioWare-style game, this is not gonna have the storytelling that you’re used to’. And I think maybe I overstressed that. I do think that at the end of the day where we are with Anthem today, if you were a BioWare fan that liked all our other games, and you play Anthem with an eye to playing it as a storytelling game, it’s certainly not our best, but it’s not bad.”

Interviewer: “So Anthem marketing and messaging was hurt because you were overlearning the lessons from Sonic, that’s the takeaway?”

Mark: “I do think so. I do think that like, I don’t think it was from the marketing perspective, but I do think that both Casey and I overstressed [that]. We didn’t want people to get mad at us for making a game that wasn’t a very good storytelling game, so we wanted to get ahead of that message and say like, ‘it’s not a very strong storytelling game, it’s a game about all this other stuff’, but, at the end of the day, it is a storytelling game, it’s still in there. And those are the people that stayed away. And if those people hadn't stayed away, I’m not saying the game would have suddenly done [awesome], but it would’ve softened the narrative a little bit, I think.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, yeah. I mean, I’m sure you understand this better than anybody, but that’s such a loaded term to say ‘This is a BioWare-style game’, and obviously there’s that era of EA where they were trying to say that every project within EA was a ‘BioWare-style’ game and so, it’s interesting to hear you kind’ve, hemming and hawwing about how much to lean into, ‘no no, this one is 100% BioWare, this one is 73% BioWare’ - it’s such a murky thing.”

Mark: “It absolutely is, I mean, and I even said these things. Like we made MDK2, well, we made it, so I mean is that a ‘BioWare-style’ game? Is Baldur’s Gate a ‘BioWare-style’ game? But if it is, then how is Mass Effect a ‘BioWare-style’ game, and certainly I don’t think anyone would argue that Mass Effect is not a ‘BioWare-style’ game. So that term has to evolve as the studio continues. But I think for whatever reason, for a variety of reasons, I guess, with Anthem we were worried that maybe we’d pushed it a bit too far. And then I guess we did.”

Interviewer: “Did you enjoy any part of working on Anthem, or was it just a matter of putting out so many fires that it was just nothing but stress til the end?”

Mark: “It was stressful for me. I mean. I have a weird - the last ten years of my career at BioWare seemed to involve a lot of helping people land their planes. And that’s what Anthem was for me, I wasn't there from the beginning. I was helping to land it. I think there’s a satisfaction that comes with landing a game, with finishing a product, and I felt that with Anthem as well, and there were a lot of talented people on that project that I’d never worked with before, and that was great. It was great to, y’know, figure out these people that had only ever worked on a Mass Effect, that I’d never worked with before, their skills and abilities. I really like understanding the strengths and weaknesses of a person and building around that. I didn’t really have an opportunity on Anthem to do that because y’know, we were just trying to get the plane on the ground, but I think, having learned about what those people could do, that’s very gratifying because it lets you imagine what you could do with them in the future.” 

Interviewer: “Yeah, if things aligned magically, but for you you realized it never was gonna align, and it was always just right on the horizon of being able to cobble this amazing talent together and focus it down.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean - I think that I, the mistake that I made on Anthem, I think the biggest mistake, was I’m used to getting a team that pushes back on me in a certain way. So as I’m sort’ve pushing the stick down to get the plane to hit the runway, I’m used to pushing it sort’ve too far, because I know that the team is gonna push it back and then we’re gonna end up where it should be. And I think that given the state of the team on Anthem when I came on, and given the differences in personalities of the leaders there, versus the ones that I’d been working with for ten years, that’s not what happened. I think if anything, I pushed it down, and then they grabbed it and pulled it even further, because they were desperate for help in decision-making, and I was providing decisions. And they were grabbing onto that, and so I thought we were on this glide slope [motions], I was aiming at this glide slope expecting that we were gonna be like [this], but instead we were like [this], and so we, yeah, we landed that pretty rough. But, I mean, it was my call, I’m the one that said we shouldn’t push to move this, not because I thought it was perfect, but because the only path I could see to making it way better was moving it a lot. And when you’re in the last eight, nine weeks of a project, I could only see like, if we were gonna move it, we [would] have to move it like a year. And that’s - in a public corporation that’s a hard argument to make.”

---

Mark: “One of the most expensive things a project can do is slip. Because, your team, when you do that your team is at its maximum size, so if you got 200 people working on a project and you move a month, well that’s 200 staff months, you just got a bunch more expensive just by moving a month. Whereas actually adding more people, well if you only got a month left, to add 200 staff months to a project, you gotta add 200 people, that’s a lotta people. Moving the date is one of the most expensive, and you can reach a point where it’s like, look, it’s not worth it, if we move the date it’s gonna cost more to continue this project than it’s gonna make, so we’re not gonna. But rarely is that the case, you’ve already spent the money you’ve spent, so the only cost that matters is the cost going forward.”

Interviewer: “So, do you regret not pushing for Anthem to be delayed a year or was it good just to get something on the ground so that we could start building to take it off again with a living game?”

Mark: “Yeah, honestly, I don’t regret it, the [team/game?] was tired and it didn’t have another year in it, and I think a lot of the things that are super obvious now, some of them we knew, some of them we knew, like the balance, we had done one, clean balance pass, by having QA come in and hotseat their way through the game over Christmas break. Like literally playing the game 24 hours a day. We’d done basically that once. So we knew that, we knew that. But a lot of the other things kind’ve only came out once it was out in peoples’ hands. I think the path that I wasn’t capable of seeing at the time that could’ve maybe resulted in a better game would’ve been to put it into beta, like a real beta, in the state that it was in, and run it like that and then release it a year later. But I don’t know if there was the will to do that frankly. There might be now... I think Anthem taught EA a lot of lessons.”

Mark: “[on Cyberpunk] I think many of the same things happened there [as with Anthem]. They had a team that was tired and it wasn’t ready but they couldn’t see the path to getting it more ready. If the team is too tired, just taking another two months just isn’t gonna get you what you think it’s gonna get you.” [source]

[angelsxbelle]

haikyuu boys as your best friend.

part 1!!!

hey guys i thought i’d do some fluffy best friend scenarios since i’ve been feeling a bit down/anxious lately and i thought it would be fun to write something to cheer people up:)

pairings: tendou x reader, komori x reader, kunimi x reader x gn! reader

warnings: extreme fluff, maybe?? swearing

have fun and remember to stay safe on the internet kids :)

tendou, SATORI

now it’s probably obvious that being tendou’s best friend is already going to be one of the best things that could ever happen to you just by looking at him

i mean, mans is a walking ball of crackhead energy

and while being around tendou is a guarantee for having the time of your life, i feel like there’s a lot more to him than a lot of people realize, especially in the way he’d act in a close friendship

he knows what it’s like to feel left out, so he always wants you to feel like you belong somewhere and won’t let you feel alone anywhere

he’s the kind of friend that will facetime you during lunch if he’s sick so you don’t have to sit alone without him

he’s also very attentive and notices small details that other people may look over, he’s always the first person to notice if something’s bugging you or if you’re feeling down about something and he’ll ask if you want to talk about it after school when you’re in private

a very good listener, not the kind of person that will try to shove solutions down your throat, but he’s supportive and will help you try to feel better if you ask him to

also a master at cheering people up after a rough day, you can’t help but burst into giggles whenever he does something stupid to try and get you to smile, he’ll conquer anything that’s making you upset

with him around, you’ll never feel alone or unwanted because you know he’ll always be there no matter what

if you’re clingy or know how to show affection really well through acts of service or words of affirmation, you’ll make a really good pair since he likes to be reassured

will blush if you compliment him or say something you like about him, and he’ll say something nice about you immediately after too

if you give him a friendship bracelet that matches one you made for yourself, he’ll wear it every day no matter how girly or cutesy looking it is

platonic cuddling>>>>>

he also likes it when you’re close to him, even though there’s no romantic feelings attached he’ll hold your hand as you run down the halls when you’re late to your next class together

even if you don’t care for it (why wouldn’t you though),you read shonen jump with him every week while you eat snacks together in his dorm and then talk about it with him afterwards

as for stuff you do for fun together, life with tendou is always a blast

sometimes you go to convenience stores and get slushies and then run to the top of a grassy hill by the parking lot and then just talk for hours and watch the stars

during school, sometimes you guys make up dances or songs and perform them for ushijima and he just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ 

you guys like to go watch scary movies together at the theater and you always share one of those jumbo popcorn tubs

one time tendou accidentally dropped it on the person that was sitting in front of you’s head and you guys had to just  b o o k  i t  out of there

he always lets you borrow his hoodies if you ask for them since they’re huge on you and he thinks it’s cute

you’re one of the only people besides ushijima that he’s opened up to about his childhood, and if you’ve been bullied too it’ll make you even closer to him since you share it

you make sure he knows how special he is and how much you care about him all the time when he gets insecure

on the last day of high school he tears up while telling you how much you mean to him

you guys stay just as close after high school, calling each other every day

you end up visiting him in france, it’s the best two weeks of your life spent together with him and you eventually end up moving there with him

komori, MOTOYA

as a best friend, komori is the perfect person for someone that wants to have someone that’s caring and stable but also still fun to be around and knows how to lighten up

everyone knows komori is our favorite sweet boy that takes care of his icy cousin but i personally believe he secretly has a mischievous side to him you know???

like he’s still very sweet but he DEF knows how to pull a good prank

the kind of kid that’ll show up on exam day and get straight a’s and then give all of his teachers big thank you gifts but a week later someone will catch him drawing massive unicorns and care bears all over the school grounds with chalk like nothing’s wrong

he would never intentionally cause any actual harm to anyone though, he’s still very respectful and doesn’t want to actually break any school rules because he doesn’t want to get in trouble and make his teachers feel bad :’(

if you forget your lunch he’s the type to split his with you

he’ll also walk you to every class even if he’s all the way across the building bc he’s nice like that :’)))

will totally laugh if you trip over your own feet in the hallway but will always stop and help you up and ask you if you’re okay after

a sweetie, your parents probably love him because whenever he comes over he always asks if he can help with cooking and cleaning and stuff like that

together, you guys like to do stuff like study together as well as do stuff like reading horror mangas together and watching old disney movies

every once and a while he’ll ask you to go for a run with him in the morning if sakusa won’t go with him and he’ll go slow just so you don’t feel like you have to keep up with him bc he doesn’t want to wear you out right before school

he likes that you know you can find stability in him, you know he’ll always be by your side no matter what’s happening outside your friendship

also loves it when you come to his games, you yell at him from the stands really loud and he’ll wave back from the court and smile really big up at you as sakusa grumbles next to him :’)

even though your relationship is lighthearted, you can still come to him with whatever issues you’ve been going through and he’ll listen as best as he can, he’ll even open up to you as well and be vulnerable about whatever he’s struggled with in the past too

if you guys didn’t wear school uniforms, he would 100% match outfits with you no matter what your style is like

like tendou, he’ll also really appreciate it if you make him a friendship bracelet to wear and he won’t want to take it off

the day you graduate, he probably cries because he’ll miss you so much if you end up going to different universities

he doesn’t really have a hard time admitting it, but you really do mean a lot to him

even after high school, you guys still stay in touch and visit each other as often as you can, with you eventually moving back to your hometown so you’ll see each other often again and you end up staying close

you’re probably the closest friendship he’s ever had :’)

kunimi, AKIRA

token lazy best friend ™

while he has a laid back attitude, kunimi still cares very much about your friendship believe it or not

he’s very nonchalant about it, but would still die for you 100% if things came to that

as seen with his friendship with kindaichi, despite being a very chill person kunimi is still attentive to other people’s feelings and will notice if something’s wrong with you or if something’s upset you

if you’re feeing insecure or upset he won’t hesitate to reassure you, even though he has a hard time opening up he’ll still remind you how he feels about you and how much he cares about you

he’s definitely not overly sappy about it though, he just kind of says what he thinks and moves on

in school, people are probably intimidated by you because you’re so quiet around others plus mans is like 6ft tall-

speaking of 6ft tall, if some guys are creeping you out or making you uncomfortable he’ll intervene and scare them so you have a chance to slip away while he makes them question their life existence

not to mention if anybody ever tries to pick on you, he’ll say something simple but so rude they’ll be so taken aback they just end up leaving you alone in shock

the silent but protective type of best friend

also even though he acts indifferent towards most things, if you show him something you’re really excited about he’ll still make an effort not to seem like he doesn’t care or blow you off

for hanging out, he’s definitely more of a simple kind of guy, he just likes to go over to your house and talk or read/ study or watch tv with you, he just enjoys the quality time

also, he secretly enjoys it when you play with his hair like he doesn’t show too much emotion but a little blush creeps up his cheeks and his eyes squint a tiny bit

and if he trusts you a lot, he’ll open up about his past and his experiences in middle school or anything that had hurt him in the past

it makes him feel safe when he knows you’re just there to listen to him and help him feel better whenever he’s feeling down or something’s been bothering him

he’s hasn’t told you yet, but kindaichi probably likes you but he’s to shy to say anything to you about it

he’s perfectly content with having you all to himself for the time being

on the weekends you always go over to his house to watch horror movies and have a sleepover after, it’s hilarious because he makes the same cold expression at the screen the entire time

but if you get scared, he’ll squeeze your hand and tell you not to be afraid

if you need to keep a nightlight on when you’re trying to fall asleep he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t want you to feel scared

he doesn’t say it a lot, but he really does care about you

he’s uncharacteristically sad the day you graduate and hates to see you go, he doesn’t want it to end

hugs you tight and drives you home after your promotion ceremony and you stay over at his house like old times

you, him, and kindaichi still stay close in university and get together whenever you can:)

[hopelessromanticvirgo]

Sincerely, Always Yours

Chapter 37

Chapter 36

Warning: mature content: heavy drug use.

Robbe is seeing things, he can’t put his fingers on what’s he’s seeing, specifically but he’s definitely dreaming, or it feels like it. There is a moon in front of him, dancing slowly, carefully with the sun and Robbe feels like an intruder, like he’s not supposed to be here.

He needs to get out. But he can’t because his legs are numb and he’s laying on the cold floor, but he’s happy.

He’s extremely happy because he’s not alone.

Jens called him very late at night yesterday, waking him up at 2am, screaming in his ear and Robbe had to take a few minutes to get him to calm down and find out what the hell he wanted at this time of the day.

Rubbing his eyes, Robbe was questioning why he even decided to leave his phone on unmute. His friend was telling him how he got invited to that one girl’s party he always wanted to go, and now that he was single, he couldn’t have any problems going there. Not only he got an invite as he calls it, he also managed to hold onto a very strong shit to smoke. Jens doesn’t know what exactly it does, it wasn’t weed, it also wasn’t an ingestion drug, it was something in between and Jens got the variety of them. All he knew about it was that it was strong, something not to take alone without anybody watching over you so you wouldn’t do something stupid, it was a hallucinogenic, and if you took much, it basically fucks you up. Robbe scolded him, asking why he even wanted something like that, but Jens was so happy he had them that the poor boy couldn’t change him mind.

A party Jens mentioned was taking place the next day, late at night as usual and Robbe and his friends were invited too just because apparently Robbe’s friend was good with his tongue, “Jens I don’t need to know that” Robbe whined when the boy told him but long story short: Jens decided to drag the boys with him and he could also share his drug, since he had a lot of them and if he took it all, it wouldn’t be no surprise that he’d die.

Robbe refused to take any, but Jens made him promise that he’d keep them at his place until they’d have to go to the party. He wanted to come to Robbe’s house the first thing in the morning so Robbe would be in the charge of getting them to the party but Jens had another problem: Robbe didn’t want to go at all.

The boy talked to him for almost an hour, trying to convince him to come but when Robbe didn’t break, Jens sneakily mentioned “tell your boyfriend to come as well” which definitely made Robbe think.

But he still refused and now Jens smirked and shoot his shot, already knowing that he won in this battle: “don’t you think he deserves to be invited to the party right now? Considering what you did to him last time” and with that Robbe was coming to the party.

Sander was up at that hour of the night, like he usually is. So by 4am, Robbe had already made up his mind and also decided everything: Jens was going to come to his house next morning, hide the drug that he’d have to share with other boys later, by 9pm Sander would come over and him and Robbe would meet up with the boys together. Sounded like a perfect plan.

But when Sander came over and Robbe mentioned the drugs, he seemed pretty interested in it, let Robbe take them out and examine while he casually said that they also needed to take some, which took Robbe by surprise since he knows that Sander usually hates stuff like that, he rarely smokes and drinks, and specially never takes any kind of drugs, instead of Robbe who is a little bit used to smoking weed because of his friends.

But this time he convinced Robbe that he also needed to take some for both of them, and how could Robbe say no to him?

In the end, Aaron couldn’t make it, so when Jens subtracted it to each boys, Sander whispered in Robbe’s ear that he should take Aaron’s quota and Robbe did, even if Jens argued and said that one part was more than enough for two person but if Sander said so and wanted it, he would get it so Robbe didn’t back off and in the end, got both parts, and disappeared with Sander in some girl’s room to taste and see what was up with it.

Two times some horny couple opened the door and interrupted them but then Robbe stood up and decided to lock the door so nobody would disturb them any more.

Loud music was coming from the downstairs, echoing in the room they were in, where the air was smoky and blurry.

Now Robbe realizes why Jens said that they’d die if they took more than what was recommended.

Robbe was definitely seeing things, Sander joked how the it felt like “requiem for a dream” and Robbe had to mention that after he watched that movie, he swore that he’d never take any strong and heavy drugs but here they were.

Promises broken.

Sander laughed and said that if things got bad he was ready to cut of his left arm for Robbe and the boy almost cried.

To honor that film, they decided to lay on the ground, opposite of each other’s bodies, their heads touching, looking up the ceiling, talking.

“Do you see that?” Sander asks and Robbe knows whatever Sander will say, Robbe will agree with him, he’d see anything Sander would tell him to see, he’d do everything Sander would tell him to do and he’s not even guilty or embarrassed about it.

“See what?” Robbe asked, while staring in front of him, his eyes unfocused.

“The Saturn.” Sander blurted out and burst out laughing. Robbe felt the vibrates coming from his body right next to him.

“I see the moon and the sun but give me a second, I will see Saturn too.” Robbe whispered against him.

Sander was way more affected than him, not having that much experience with any type of drugs, so Sander was way out of this world, while Robbe still had some kind of ability to think sanitarily and clearly.

“What are you thinking about?” Sander asked with his eyes closed, after Robbe was quiet for a while, just having his head turned a little bit to look at his boy.

“I’m thinking about you.” He mumbled, putting his hand in his hair, running his fingers though it.

“What about me?” Sander smiled cheekily and asked.

“Oh, Sander... everything about you...” He whispered but loud enough so the other guy could clearly hear him.

Sander got silent.

Robbe wasn’t even expecting any answer.

The party has already started for a while now, Robbe doesn’t know how long they have been up there, together, alone.

The boy can hear the music coming from there, shaking the whole house, the songs not that hearable but somehow still pleasant.

Robbe recognizes the melody but he can’t put his mind on it. It’s like he knows it, but at the same time, it’s the first time he has ever listened to it.

Robbe couldn’t ask for more. Sander and him were on pretty good terms. They were joking together again, hanging out, one time Sander even spent the night at his place, both of them accidentally falling asleep on the couch while the credits of the movie they were “watching” was rolling.

Sander feel asleep earlier, Robbe was still a little bit conscious when he felt the boy putting his head on his shoulder, struggling not to snuggle up with him, not to lay his head on top of his, not to kiss his forehead.

This is Robbe’s own personal hell, he guesses, he has to be there for Sander, only to admire him from afar but he’s so deeply in love, that Robbe is more than ready and happy to only have a platonic relationship with him. All he wants and needs is for Sander to stay in his life, forever and he’s sure, he will do anything to make that happen.

Right now they are close to each other and all Robbe wants, is to roll over and kiss him to death.

But we can’t always have what we want, can we?

“Sander. Can I ask you a question?” Robbe looked at him, at his closed eyes, red lips, skin, and swallowed.

How can he be so pretty?

The boy opened his eyes when he heard Robbe’s voice, his face pale, circles around his eyes - red. He’s gone, somewhere far away but his body is still stuck here.

“Yeah. Shoot.” Now staring deep into Robbe’s doe eyes, making the boy nervous by each passing second.

Robbe’s hesitating. There is a lot of things he wants to say, but one topic is the most specific.

He wants to know it but at the same time, he doesn’t because he believes that he already knows the answer.

It will only break his heart.

How many times should Robbe break his own heart by being too curious?

But he decided that it Sander was going to be easy to talk to, it would be right then, when he wasn’t completely in his right mindset.

Sounds egoistical but Robbe doesn’t care.

“Have you - “ he stopped, took a big breath, which made Sander sit up on his elbows, now directly looking down on Robbe’s face until Robbe decided to straighten up and sat down on his knees, in front of him.

“Go on, Robbie.” Robbe automatically smiled at the nickname and gathered his courage.

“Did you - that day - did you sleep with her?” It was pretty self explanatory, Robbe hoped. He fidgeted uneasily with his fingers, anxiously waiting for Sander to say something, not looking up at him.

“No. How can you even ask me that?” He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion which made Robbe double look at his expression before getting taken aback.

“What? But - I saw - wait - what?”

But what about that photo? He wanted to ask.

“I just stayed over, Robbe. Because she asked me to. I couldn’t say no for specific reasons.” Sander looked so offended by the question which only made Robbe more confused.

“You just stayed over.” Robbe said, not asking a question just repeating it, slowly.

“Yeah. I mean, she wanted to but I - I didn’t, so I just spent the night. I haven’t touched her, how could I?” He told him while completely sitting on the floor, leaning his back on the bed, putting his head down on top of it, his legs pushed up together.

Sander’s eyes were way too gone. Robbe knew he was out of this mind but somehow still managed to talk and act normal. Robbe was in such a better state from him, which made him more careful.

His heart started beating fast after hearing that, something was telling him that Sander wasn’t lying, why did he have to lie anyway?

He expected anything but this, couldn’t help but smiled, his teeth biting the lips to try and cover it, but Sander was looking at the ceiling, not knowing about that secret grin.

Then he sat up and took a cigarette from the floor, lighting it up and taking a drag, digging holes into Robbe’s eyes while doing it. Then he looked away again.

“Sander?” Robbe has no idea what he’s doing. He just feels the need to say his name, so he does.

“Hm?” The room already smells like cigarettes, it only took a second, Robbe is staring at it, calmly sitting and burning between Sander’s second and third fingers, on top of his right knee.

“I’m not in love with Jens.” There it was, again, what did he have to lose.

Sander quickly took a glance at him, looked him up and down, clearly not getting the point because of the way he was so high, so knocked out. “Yeah?” He asked and took another drag.

Robbe nodded, biting inside his cheek.

No reaction.

Robbe sighed. If only he had balls to do it when both of them were sober and thinking clearly.

Robbe looks at him, being so far away and being so close to him at the same time.

I'd give it all just to hold you close.

“Sander.” He whispered, his name being the only thing he wanted to repeat over and over again.

“You love saying my name, don’t you?” The boy smirked at him and teased but somehow Robbe got the feeling that both of them knew Robbe adored his name, the way it was rolling off of his tongue.

Just perfectly.

“Sander.” Robbe ignored what he said and whispered it again, leaning against the wall, leaving at least one foot between him and Sander who was still leaning on the bed.

“I’m listening.”

Sander was always listening, very closely to everything Robbe has even said or mentioned. He was always paying attention, which was one reason from many other about why Robbe adored him very much.

This was the moment Robbe’d regret his whole life, he was sure, because he was already feeling embarrassed from what he wanted to ask.

But somehow, knowing Sander was high and wasn’t thinking deeply about anything Robbe was saying made him more confident that he wouldn’t remember this at all so he wanted to use his chance while he had it.

“Have you ever kissed a boy?” He asked and Sander looked up at him, clearly way more interested in the new topic.

“No. Have you?” He breathed out the smoke, looking at Robbe who only shook his head, looking down at his lap.

Deadly silence. So deadly that one might have thought that even the music stopped playing at the party.

“Do you what to change that?” Sander asked and Robbe almost chocked on his breath.

“What?”

“Yeah. Why not? I can kiss you.” Sander said and smirked at him, taking another drag of his almost finished cigarette.

After Robbe stayed silent for a while he added “friends kiss each other don’t they? It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Yeah. They - they do.” Robbe muttered, not being quite sure that he was awake. “Wait. Are you serious?” Robbe asked, he even pinched himself, his mind foggy, not knowing if everything that was happening was real or not.

He was definitely hallucinating. Jens said that it was common and they took way much than what they were supposed to.

“Of course I am. Only one condition though.” Sander amused.

“What condition?” Robbe asked way too quickly for his liking, showing how eager and into he was about this, still hesitant but very interested.

“You have to kiss me.” Robbe was sure that Sander was eating him with his eyes, the look he was giving him made his legs shake.

Robbe was confused about what he meant by that but then his eyes went wide when he finally realized what Sander wanted him to do.

Sander wanted Robbe to kiss him.

Robbe to cover the space between them and crawl to him because he was sitting somewhat far away from him.

Sander wanted him to make a first move.

Robbe is sure this is a dream, or some another kind of dimension, other universe.

But Robbe wants to take his chance, if Sander is offering him, why not?

He’s about to have an asthma attack. His heart is about to burst out. The heart that belongs to the boy in front of him, who is looking at him so intimately that Robbe can’t explain it.

He’s ready to risk it all for him, just to touch his lips.

He feels that Sander knows.

Robbe’s afraid that the boy is about to laugh at him, push him away as soon as he will get closer, never talk to him again but deep down he knows that his Sander would never do that.

His Sander would never hurt him.

The rhythm of his heartbeat gets louder in his ears by each passing second.

He moves a bit closer.

Sander is taking the very last drag out of his cigarette, not moving an inch from where he’s sitting.

Robbe pushes himself off the wall, standing on his knees, getting closer to the boy who has his legs pushed away so the place between them are empty.

Empty for Robbe to fill it and take it.

He’s getting close and feels dizzy. Like he’s about to drop on the floor and die, but Sander isn’t moving.

Not moving closer to him, but also not moving away.

Just waiting, staring at Robbe’s eyes.

And as Robbe got closer, he noticed Sander taking a quick glance down at his lips.

Robbe knows that he’s falling in too deep, if he will have a taste, he will never stop.

Maybe that’s exactly what he wants.

The boy is about to touch his lips and he’s having second thought.

What if he will ruin everything between them for this? What if Sander will never speak to him again? What if he will go too far? What if he will cross the line that can’t be uncrossed nor fixed?

But the part of his heart which was waiting almost his whole life for this moment was screaming at him to take his chance, and apparently it was the dominant one. Some kind of force pushed him front and a second later, he was touching Sander’s lips with his own.

Sander let out the last bit of smoke he had in his mouth at the same time Robbe pushed forward and breathed them in his mouth.

Robbe wasn’t ready for that and almost coughed but when he finally felt Sander’s lips on his, he completely forgot his own name, his mind stopped working.

Sander’s lips were as soft as he’d imagine. He tasted like weed and cigarettes, and maybe some beer, but somehow still tasted sweet. It was the best thing Robbe has ever tasted.

He’s head is spinning, he feels on cloud nine. A tongue touching his own, creating some kind of connection that he knows can’t be broken anymore after this.

Robbe’s hands shaking on Sander’s cheeks, still unsure, still hesitant, still anxious.

But it ended as soon as it started, which also made Robbe realize that Sander hasn’t touched him at all, not when they kissed, not when they parted.

He started pulling away but before he even had a chance and before he was able to open his eyes, Robbe was pushed against the wall he was previously leaning on to, with a hand behind his head, protecting it from getting hurt, his mouth covered with Sander’s lips again and he gasped.

The other hand was going up and down from his chest to his neck.

When Robbe realized this was really happening, he unfroze, the feeling in bones and muscles returning, putting his hands on Sander’s shoulders, pulling him closer, making the boy trip a little.

Robbe tried to say everything in his actions, trying to pour down his emotions.

He pulled him ever closer, gripping his fingers in his hair.

Sander pulled away a bit to take a breath and Robbe leaned forward, still clutching his hair while pulling it to make the boy throw his head a bit behind, moving over his body, towering over him and kissing him again, breathlessly.

Sorry that I broke your heart.

Robbe made Sander trip over again, so in the end, Sander was still leaning on the bed like before, Robbe pulling himself on his lap, throwing himself on him, hugging his neck, consuming him.

This time I won’t leave.

“Kiss me again.” Robbe was chanting desperately in Sander’s ear as soon as the boy would part his lips to take a breath.

I won’t let you down again.

Sander pulled away which made Robbe whined, his heart vibrating his whole body.

“Fuck. Is this real?” Sander breathed out against his skin.

“I’m real. Are you?” Robbe asked, trying to catch a breath.

“I know I’m real but I can’t be sure about you.” Sander said, kissed his nose and put their foreheads together.

I’ll treat you better than I did before.

“Sander. Do you feel this too?” He asked, practically sitting on top of him, his hands wrapped around his neck, not an inch between their bodies.

“You being hard against my thigh? Since yes, I can very much feel that.” Sander said with a little smile covering his face and looked up at Robbe.

Robbe immediately blushed, pulled himself even closer to him, hiding his face in his hair.

“Sanderrrr! Not that.” The other boy laughed against him and put his arms up and down on his back, sneaking his fingers under his shirt, just softly touching and caressing his skin, filling it up with goosebumps.

“This. Us.” Robbe added, trying not to touch Sander’s lap that much anymore, which obviously didn’t go unnoticed, but luckily for Robbe, Sander didn’t make any comment about it this time.

“Yeah. I feel that too. And I feel you, right here, against me, in my arms and I don’t want to ever wake up from this dream.” And with that, Robbe was melting.

“Kiss me. Kiss me again.” He whispered in his ear, closing his eyes, getting lost in the feelings and Sander wasted no time doing exactly what he was told.

* * *

They are laying on the floor, this time right next to each other, Robbe having his head on Sander’s chest, practically laying on top of him, their legs entwined together.

They are both flying though the air, dancing around.

Sander took more dose, Robbe tried to take it away from his hands but Sander put it up, out of his reach, and then when Robbe didn’t give up and was shaking the ground from jumping up and down, trying to get and reach it to snatch them from Sander, afraid that something bad would happen if they’d take more, Sander kissed him to shut him up and distracted him, and Robbe forgot about everything else, melted on the ground, his eyes rolling back and that’s when Sander took his chance to take more. Robbe got mad at him but it only lasted a few minutes until he was snuggling by his side again, making sure to keep Sander awake, since he knew it needed at least two hours in the body after it wasn’t hurtful so he had to make him entertained, which he wasn’t that good at.

Robbe was constantly kissing him, Sander kissing him back, running his fingers though his hair, kissing his head and temple.

Right now Robbe is laying on his right side, Sander’s one hand in his hair, other on his waist, keeping him close.

“Do you think this is really happening?” Robbe asked after a while, playing with Sander’s hoodie’s strings.

“Hmm - don’t think so.” The answer caught him off guard.

“Why?” He looked up.

“Do you think we’d be doing this for real if it was the real life?”

Doing this.

Kissing.

Hugging.

Sander was right, Robbe guesses that it’s a part of his imagination but doesn’t want to admit it.

“Yeah. Maybe we just traveled in another universe.” Robbe hummed, enjoying the warmth of Sander’s body, not trying to admit that he was either dreaming or hallucinating.

“Wait.” Robbe threw a glance at him, their face inches apart.

Sander was smiling down at him, with a secret, knowing smile that Robbe couldn’t figure out the meaning of.

“So, you think that we’re together in another universe?” Robbe blushed, and rolled his eyes, hid his face in his neck, which made Sander laugh and pull him even closer to his body, as if it was possible.

“Maybe.” He added after a while when he felt that Sander was waiting for an answer.

Sander got suddenly so quiet that Robbe forced himself to put his body on his left elbow and look at him.

“Hey. What’s wrong? Are you falling asleep? You know I won’t let you, I need to make sure you won’t pass away in your sleep.” He joked but in reality, he was really scared of the effects the drug would have on him, so he was constantly making sure Sander was okay and breathing.

He didn’t get an answer, which made Robbe more worried.

“Sander?” He touched his face and made him look at him, his face deadly serious.

“Talk to me.”

Sander looked over, then away, staring at the ceiling again.

“You hurt me.” With that, Robbe’s blood froze, his breathing getting frequent, anxious.

“W-what?”

“You hurt my heart. This version of you or whatever this is. You’re here, exactly like I want you to be but you’re still not here. It must be an illusion, or a dream. The most happy and cruel dream. And I’m scared to wake up.” His voice was breaking and Robbe has never related to Sander like he did right then and there, on top of him, scared, freaked out, in his arms.

“I’m real. Are you?” Robbe asked, getting upset at the thought of this only being the effect of the drugs, while he’s passed out, on the floor in reality, getting lost in the images of Sander in his mind.

“You’re not real. Maybe I’m not real too.” He closed his eyes again, his movement in Robbe’s hair stopped.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Robbe said, wanting to disappear, not feeling calm anymore.

“I’m sorry. I made you upset.” Sander whispered, kissing his forehead, making Robbe smile sadly.

“You never make me upset.” He laid down on top of him again, looking at his face from his place on Sander’s chest.

They stayed silent for a very long time after him until Sander started mumbling something that Robbe couldn’t understand.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I - I -“ Sander started but he stopped, sounding like he was in pain which made Robbe worried. He tried again but with no luck. Then Sander groaned. “fuck - why is this so hard? You’re not real, why can I just say it?”

Say what? Robbe wanted to say but stayed quiet, even hold his breath for a while.

“Robbe?”

“Yeah?”

“I - you and I - I don’t know how to - I -“ He groaned again and hide his face in his hands, Robbe not daring to move.

Sander didn’t say anything for a very long time, then mumbled “just kiss me.” Robbe kissed him, thinking about what he wanted to say to him, not getting a clear answer to it.

They stopped talking after that, just staying in each other’s warmth, breathing each other’s scents.

Robbe could still hear music coming from the downstairs, making his ears ring.

He feels like he’s about to cry, realizing that they might not even be real, they might not be on top of each other right now. Robbe’s lips start to tremble, his eyes getting blurry, so just to try to control himself to not burst out in tears, he pushed himself more into Sander’s neck, touching his skin with his lips.

A very good plan to distract himself from thinking about real life forming in his brain but he’s hesitant, not being sure about it. Not being sure how Sander would react to it.

He’s not real anyway, what do I have to lose? Robbe mused in his head.

“Can I - never mind - it’s stupid.” Robbe mumbled and was about to get down from his neck when Sander tighten his grip and kept him there.

“You can do anything you want.” Sander said and the tone of his voice made Robbe realize that both of them were sad about that previous realization.

Realization that they weren’t together.

Realization that they would never get what they truly wanted.

“Are you sure?” Robbe asked, his lips desperate to touch the skin on his neck, like it was asking to be kissed.

“Uhuh.” Sander closed his eyes again and Robbe had to shake his arm to make him keep his eyes open, still scared of the idea of Sander falling asleep just yet.

Robbe smiled, getting up and sitting right over his chest.

“Wow. What’s your plan?” Sander’s panicked voice asked when he saw the brunet towering over him, Robbe running his hands up and down on Sander’s chest, bending down, getting closer to his face, touching his lips to his ear, whispering: “can I kiss you here?” Didn’t even give Sander an opportunity to answer him, lowered his head a bit and started kissing his neck, making the boy’s eyes roll back, letting out a desperate sigh.

Spent a few minutes there, just licking and kissing his skin, then going up again, smirking, licking the little part of his ear, asking “can I leave marks?” which made Sander moan and grip the end of his shirt tightly in his fingers.

“Yeah-h. Just - just don’t make them visible.” He stuttered, heavy from the tension and emotions. As soon as Sander let that sentence out of his mouth, Robbe knitted his eyebrows, slightly turned his head.

“Why? Don’t want your girlfriend to see them?” He gritted out the word girlfriend like it was a curse and when Sander didn’t say anything, he backed down on his neck again, choosing the part right under his ear, where his jawline was starting, place where his mark would be the most visible, and unable to hide even with turtlenecks, started kissing and sucking on the skin, the boy under him whimpering slightly.

When he was finally satisfied with it, he looked at it from a little bit far and smiled.

“There you go. You belong to me now.” He teased, completely meaning it in his heart, but oh boy, he wanted so hard for it to be the truth.

“Maybe I want to belong to you.” He heard a quiet whisper, the boy staring at him like Robbe was the best thing he has ever seen in this world, and Robbe was starstrucked, he has never been looked like this before, like he was everything.

Everything Sander’s ever wished for.

“What?” Robbe dared to ask, just wanted to make sure he heard him correctly.

“Maybe I just want to be yours.” Sander said, now fully looking into his eyes, and Robbe couldn’t do anything but kiss him again.

Squishing his cheeks together when he pulled away. “You’re way too cute, do you know that?” Making Sander smile and blush at him, his eyes half open.

“And so pretty, and handsome, and beautiful, and smart. Just perfect.” There weren’t enough words in every language that existed to explain how much Robbe adored and loved this boy, how much he wished that he’d just hug him and never let him go, ever again, how much he just wanted to disappear with him, just keep him all to himself, for him to love and admire.

“Perfect for you?” Sander asked but Robbe couldn’t answer, he cuddled to him again, and whispered: “kiss me again.”

And Sander did exactly that.

He kissed him again, and again, and again.

Robbe knew nothing would matter tomorrow anyway, so all he could do right now was to use this moment, hallucinating or not, to feel the boy he was so deeply, hopelessly, in love with.

Sander didn’t hold back as well.

Both of them getting lost in each other’s lips and scent. Them taking and tasting each other like a drug.

And Robbe was unfortunately right. Even if they remembered some of the stuff that happened the night before, both of them were sure it was just an effect of the drugs they took. The only thing that could be counted as a proof and as an evidence that the last night was real, was a very big, red mark on Sander’s neck, right under his jawline but when the boy first saw it in the morning, for the love of god, he could not remember where he got it from.

Chapter 38

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 1)

Pairing: Avengers X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 3870

Summary: Your life is torn apart after undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to civilian life. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild your life.

—————————————

“Charlie, the car’s packed. Are you ready?” You called. Your first vacation in two years ahead. A rock climbing trip to Arizona. 

“Almost. Come here.” Charlie called from the apartment kitchen. 

“What’s up?” You smile as you walk into the kitchen and see Charlie holding out a small medicine cup. “What am I taking today?” You smile at your husband who is currently on a vitamin kick. 

“Magnesium, fish oil, vitamin d, and a multi.” He smiles as he picks up his own cup and clinks it together with yours. 

You both take the vitamins and then you lean in for a quick kiss. “Okay, good lookin’, vacation time.” 

You turn to head for the door but Charlie’s voice brings you back around, “What’s happening?” he says in a panicked voice, “(Y/N)!” You turn to see his body being covered by rocks. 

“Charlie!” You reach out for him. 

“Don’t touch me!” He yells, but then you feel something strange yourself. Looking down you see the rocks beginning to cover you, too. 

“Charlie!” You yell again. 

“I love you!” He says just before the rocks cover him completely. 

“I love you!” You cry and then are overtaken. 

Fourteen months later.

“So, you’re just gonna spring me on them?” You look at Nicky Fury as he drives to the Avenger’s compound. 

“Not like we had a lot of time. Coulson's team had to move. This will be the safest place for you and you can be trained as an Avenger here.” Fury states.

You roll your eyes. Not like you hadn’t been training for the last six months with Coulson’s  team, but apparently you can’t even tell anyone about them. Now, you’re supposed to join this team and everything will be all better. You put your earbuds in.

You’re brought into the conference room and face the Avengers team. Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Sam Wilson, and Bucky Barnes. 

“Avengers, meet your newest trainee.” Fury states. 

You keep your gaze down not wanting to see the anger on everyone’s faces. 

“What is this, Fury?” Captain Rogers is the first to speak. 

“Look, we need a place for her to train and become mission ready. Right now, here is the safest place for that. I’ll let you get acquainted.” With that, Fury leaves. 

You stare after him as he leaves you to the team’s mercy. You turn to look at Captain Rogers, apprehension clear on your face. He seems to take some pity on you. 

“You’re an agent?” He asks. 

“Fury didn’t give you my file?” You ask quietly. 

“What he just said is what he gave me on you.” Captain says, not unkindly. 

“Great.” Your quiet, sarcastic reply. 

“Why don’t you sit down and we can figure this all out?” Captain Rogers motions to the chair at the head of the table. You felt like you were sitting in front of a jury. 

You looked around the table slowly at each solemn face. Miss Maximoff offers you a small smile and it bolsters a bit of courage in you. 

“Okay. What’s your deal, then?” Mr. Stark questions. 

“I guess it’d just be best to lay it all out for you from the beginning, huh?” You look to Captain Rogers. 

“That would make things easier.” Agent Romanoff says. 

You look at her and nod. “Fourteen months ago, I underwent terrigenesis.”

“Where did you get a terrigen crystal?” Dr. Banner asks. 

“My husband, Charlie, handed me our morning vitamins. One was a new fish oil we were trying.” You say. 

“Oh my god. You were one of the accidentally exposed?” Miss Maximoff says sadly. 

“Yes.” You nod. 

“Your husband?” She asks.

“He was not an Inhuman.” You look away for a minute to compose yourself. The loss of Charlie was still painful. You swallow and continue, “I, however, am. I emerged from the chrysalis with the ability to understand any vocal communication.”

“You mean verbal communication?” Dr. Banner says. 

“No, I mean vocal. A dog barks and I know what it’s communicating, not exact words but the meaning. Eventually after hearing any human language for a time I can speak it also. I was fluent in English and Spanish before, but since I’ve become fluent in Mandarin and Cantonese, and I have working knowledge of a few others. I’m basically a universal translator.”

Agent Romanoff speaks then in Russian “You can understand anything said to you even if you don’t know the language?”

“That’s correct. I actually don’t know any Russian. If you could speak it to me when we talk I’ll pick it up eventually. If any of you know other languages, it would be helpful for me to learn to speak them.”

“I would be happy to help you with Sokovian.” Miss Maximoff says in her language. 

“Thank you. I’m grateful for whatever I can learn.” You smile at her. 

“And that’s it? You can’t go back to your life because you can understand what everyone says?” Mr. Stark snarks. 

“No. With being Inhuman comes additional strength and stamina, my gifts also include increased hearing and I can, um, warg for lack of a better term.” You give a half shrug. 

“Warg? Like embody animals?” Agent Barton says. 

“Yes. I can see, hear, feel through them. I have a Red-tailed Hawk who I’ve built a relationship with. I use her often to train.”

“Where is she?” Agent Barton asks. 

You warg into her for a moment turning your eyes yellow as the hawks. “She’s in a dogwood tree on the north side of the compound.”

“Did you just…?” Agent Barton raises his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Turning back to Mr. Stark you say, “To answer your questions, Mr. Stark, the combination of my Inhuman abilities with the fact that I am a black belt in Krav Maga and Karate, an expert level climber, and a computer programmer put me in the threat category.”

“Programmer?” Mr. Stark smirks, “You mean hacker?”

“No. I mean programmer. I was not a part of anything clandestine… Until SHIELD.” you roll your eyes and a few of the team chuckled. “I could already kill someone with my bare hands, add in extra strength.” You shrug again. “Anyway, I’ve spent the last six months training with another Inhuman to hone my skills. They needed the full team to be field ready and Fury decided to move me here.”

“What are you lacking for field readiness?” Captain Rogers asks. 

“Firearms training mostly.” You reply. “I have control of my abilities. My hand to hand is more than sufficient.”

“Do you have any experience with firearms?” Sergeant Barnes asks. 

“Kinda why I got a black belt in Krav Maga and Karate was hoping to never need one. And if I do, I’ll take one.”

“Family?” Captain Rogers asks.

You shake your head, “My mom died when I was three. My dad raised me. He was a Coast Guard pilot. Died five years ago in a helicopter crash.”

“I’m sorry.” He says sincerely. 

“Thanks. Any other questions? Anybody?” You look around the table. 

“I think you’ve given us enough for now. Do you have bags or boxes we can help you move into a room?” Captain Rogers asks. 

“Just those two. I’ve got them.” You pick up the large duffle and backpack. 

“Why don’t you take an hour to settle in and then we’ll meet to start training.” 

You nod, a little surprised he wants to start training so soon. 

“I’ll show you to your room.” Miss Maximoff says. “Where’s she going?” she asks the Captain. 

You see a cloud come over Captain Roger’s face for a moment before he says, “There’s a free room on my end.”

You realize he was trying to figure out where to put you and decided to keep the newbie nearby. You didn’t mind. 

“Thank you.” You say to Captain Rogers and you nod to the rest of the team before you follow Miss Maximoff. “Thank you for showing me to the room, Miss Maximoff.”

Wanda giggles, “You can call me Wanda.”

“Thanks. Please call me (Y/N). And I thought you were gonna speak Sokovian to me?” You give her a small smile as you walk to the elevator. 

“Oh, of course.” She says in Sokovian while hitting the elevator button. 

“I wonder how good her hearing is.” You hear the whisper in the conference room. 

“Good enough I can hear you from out here, Agent Barton.” You call back and grin at Wanda. 

“Thanks!” He calls back. 

“Not so loud! Geez” You and Wanda giggle together as you get on the elevator. 

“What did he say? I couldn’t hear anything from where we were.” Wanda asks. 

“Oh, he just wondered how good my hearing is.” 

“Is it really sensitive?” 

“Yeah. I have to sleep with earplugs and I wear headphones a lot to block some of it out. It’s taken a while to get used to it. At first, it was super overwhelming.”

“I understand. It was very brave the way you told everyone what happened to you.” 

“Seemed fair. I got the chance to read all of your files, so I know about everyone else.”

“Here we are. Do you want help unpacking? I can stick around for a little bit.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to do that. I’ll see you at training?”

“Yes, I’ll be there. If you need anything ask FRIDAY she can direct you where you need to go and answer your questions.” Wanda waves as she leaves you alone in the room. 

The room is nicer than what you expected. A queen bed, desk, bookshelves, tv, walk in closet, and your own bathroom. You would definitely need to go to a store soon to pick up a few things. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be a problem with Captain Rogers. You empty your duffle bag, put your clothes away, and place your toiletries in the bathroom. You unwrap the two framed pictures and place them on your desk. One is you and Charlie smiling in a waterfall grotto after a long hike. The other is your wedding day, you in a short lace dress, him in a white button down and khaki pants, with the sun setting behind you on the beach just after you said your vows. You gently touch the photo, “Love you, Charlie.” you whisper. 

You decide to change and head to wherever training would be. You stop at the panel by your door, "Uh, FRI...FRIDAY?"

"How may I be of assistance, Ms. (L/N)?"

"Where would I go to meet the others for training?"

"The training room is located on the first floor." She says as she flashes a map up. 

"Thank you." You feel kind of sheepish talking to the AI. 

Once in the training room you look around at the well equipped room. Every type of weights, machines, a boxing ring, mats, weapon lockers, and even a rock climbing wall you saw with excitement. Looking up at the ceiling you see it's criss crossed with beams and you get a wicked idea. You grab a climbing rope hanging down at one end of the room and shimmy up it quickly. You're able to swing yourself to the beam fairly easily from there and then walk the beams towards the entrance to the room. You take a seat with your back to a joist and stretch your legs out in front of you. It's not long before Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes come in together.

"Wonder if she’s as skilled as it sounds.” Sergeant Barnes says. 

“Black belts in karate and krav maga? I’m sure she has some skills but getting her to Avenger status may be a challenge.” Captain Rogers says. 

“Guess the question is, is she up for it?” Sergeant Barnes scoffs. 

“I certainly plan to try, Sergeant.” You say from your perch. 

“What the hell?” Sergeant Barnes looks up at you and you give a little wave.

“What are you doing up there, (Y/N)?” Captain Rogers says. 

“Waiting.” You say simply. 

“You felt the need to do that twenty feet in the air?” Captain Rogers scoffs.

You shrug, “Felt like climbing.” Getting up, you walk along the beams. 

“Can you come down, please?” Sergeant Barnes says. 

“Sure.” You walk back towards the climbing rope, once close enough you jump to it, and slide down. 

Sergeant Barnes is right next to you when you turn around, “What would have happened if you’d fallen?” 

“It’d hurt,” you say and look up to the beams, “A lot.”

“Might want to reconsider using the beams as a waiting room.” He snarks. 

“Nah, I like being up high. I’m pretty sure-footed.” You look back to his face and he is scowling down at you. “What?”

“Nothing.”  He says, “I’ll take that to mean you're warmed up. Let’s do some sparring and see how you do.”

“Okay.” 

You follow him to the mat. Captain Rogers is standing to the side watching. You take stance and Sergeant Barnes begins. You can tell he is holding back and you go harder at him. After sparring with Melinda May for months you weren’t about to let him patronize you. You were holding your own and noticed the rest of the team filtering in and watching. He grabbed your arm and you used the leverage to jump up, throw your legs around his neck, and  throw him to the ground. He rolled to his feet immediately and came right back at you. After a few more minutes, Captain Rogers called out, “Alright. Let’s switch it up.” You stopped but kept your eyes on Sergeant Barnes until he retreated. 

“Not bad.” Sergeant Barnes says to Captain. 

“Natasha.” Captain Rogers looks at her and she nods. 

“Agent Romanoff.” You incline your head to her as she approaches. 

“Natasha’s fine.” She smiles. 

“(Y/N). Thanks.” You smile back and Natasha throws the first punch. You manage to hold your own for a while but in the end Natasha managed to pin you to the mat. 

“Well done.” Natasha says. 

“Not well enough.” You say with a mirthless chuckle. 

“Who or what is next, Captain?” You say looking at the super soldier. 

He looks over to Sergeant Barnes, “Bucky, can you take her to the range and gauge her abilities there?”

“Sure.” He eyes you and then makes a motion for you to follow. 

As you walk out of the training room and turn down a hallway towards the range, you say to him, “I don’t have a lot of experience with guns, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky.”

“What?”

“Call me Bucky.”

“Okay. I don’t have a lot of experience with guns, Bucky. I’ve shot a few times, but the last year has really been about my abilities and honing hand to hand.”

“Well, we’ll see what we have to work with and go from there.” Bucky says as he holds the door to the range open for you. You slip in past him and watch as he goes to the locker and pulls out a Glock, a clip, and a box of ammo. He then sets it all down in front of you with protective gear and stands back with arms crossed. 

You reign in a smirk at his demeanor. He really is testing you. You pick up the clip, add the ammo, load and cock the gun. Clicking the safety into place, you put the protective gear on, pick the gun back up, and move to aim at the target. You take the safety off, aim, and fire. When you’ve emptied the clip, you set the gun down and turn to Bucky while removing the headphones. “It’s still loud even through these things.” 

Bucky actually chuckles and hits the button to bring the target up for inspection. “You at least know how to load and shoot, but your aim needs work.”

While you had hit the target with each bullet, the rounds were dispersed throughout the torso. Yeah, your aim was lacking. 

"Yup. Want me to go again?" 

"No, just trying to get an idea." He gives you a tight smile that you return. 

When you return to the training room, Captain Rogers takes you through a workout and then brings you a bottle of water. "Good work today."

"Thanks, Captain. I know it was awkward having me sprung on you." 

"You can call me Steve. We all go by first names around here." He says.

"My, uh, my dad always required I called people by their title until invited otherwise. Old habits." You shrug.

"Yeah, I get it. Go get some rest and I'll show you around later."

"That would be great. Thanks." 

An hour later you had showered and changed. You went to the common room to see if Captain Rogers, erm, Steve was around for the tour he had offered. Sam Wilson looked up from the couch. 

“Hey, newbie.” He smiles. 

“Hello.”

”I’m Sam. So, you have a hawk friend? What’s its name?”

“Doesn’t really have an English translation. It’s kind of a mix between a squawk and screech so I just call her Redtail.” You say. 

“I’m trying to figure out if you're kidding.” Sam eyes you. 

“The first part, yeah. But I really do call her Redtail.” You smirk.

“So, you can… what did you call it?”

“Warg. Warging.” You say. 

“You can warg into her anytime you want?”

“Generally. I try to be respectful of her. She’s not a pet. She’s a companion that has chosen to befriend me and allow me to use her. Would you like to meet her later?” 

“Yeah. That would be cool.” Sam smiles. 

“(Y/N).” Steve strides into the room. 

“Captain. Sorry. Steve.” You give him a small smile. 

“Ready to take a tour?” He asks. 

“Yes, thank you. Would you care to join us, Sam?”

“I’m good, but don’t forget about introducing me to Redtail.” Sam says from his spot on the couch. 

“You got it.” You say as you go to follow Steve. 

“Redtail?” Steve asks.

“The hawk I mentioned.” You say. 

Steve shows you around the compound, explains FRIDAY’s functions, and talks a little bit about the team. He’s very kind through the whole process but you can tell he has some concerns about you becoming part of the team. 

“Steve, can I ask you something?” You finally work up the courage to say.

“Yeah.”  He turns to look at you. 

“How does everyone feel about me being dropped on you? There’s bound to be some resentment.”

“I wouldn’t say resentment. Everyone’s just a bit guarded when it comes to new people. You must have done something right for Fury to put you here, though. Most of them know that.”

“Any helpful hints?”

“They’re all good people. Just give them time. They’ll warm up. And, seriously, don’t ever steal Natasha’s cookies.” He says. 

You laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind. Would you like to meet Redtail?”

“That’d be great.” 

“FRIDAY, will you let Sam know to meet us at the North entrance?” 

“Getting used to FRIDAY already, huh?” Steve smiles.

“I can see how useful she is.”

A few minutes later Sam appears with Bucky following behind. 

“Hey Buck.” Steve greets, “Wanted to meet Redtail, too?”

“Uh, yeah, if that’s okay, (Y/N)?” Bucky asks.

“Sure.” You give a small smile and head outside. “Gimme about 15 feet of space, guys. Don’t want to scare her.”

The guys move back as asked and you put your hands around your mouth and let out a loud “CAW CAW!” You look back at the bewildered expressions of the three and start laughing. “Just kidding. Sorry I couldn’t resist.” They all chuckle. 

You reach in your back pocket and pull out a falconry glove. Slipping it on, you warg into Redtail turning your eyes yellow and ask her to come to you. Redtail makes a graceful arc from the dogwood tree she had been resting in and landed on your upheld hand. “Hello there, sweet girl. How do you like your new spot?” Redtail looks at you tilting her head. 

“Does she understand you?” Sam asks.

“No, we can communicate when I warg, but it’s more like an exchange of images than it is talking.” You warg for a moment to ask Redtail if she can bring her closer to the three curious men and once you receive her consent you release the warg. “I’m going to bring her closer but please keep your hands down, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Steve says. 

“So, she’s your pet?” Bucky asks as you walk closer. 

“No, I don't take care of her. She’s not my pet. She’s my companion, my friend.” You say petting the bird's chest. “Would you like to pet her?”

Bucky nods and you take his right hand in yours and bring it up to Redtail’s chest allowing him to pet her. She makes a small chittering sound and you smile at Bucky, “She likes you.” He smiles sweetly. 

You move to Sam next and Redtail immediately starts chittering again. You take Sam’s hand and bring it up to her chest like you did with Bucky. Redtail leans into Sam’s hand and tilts her head back and forth studying him. She starts to reach a claw out to move to his hand but you warg to her and show her her talons tearing his skin. “Wow, she really likes you. I guess she sees a fellow bird.” You laugh.

“I do have a way with the ladies.” Sam grins. 

You move to Steve last and allow him to pet Redtail. When you look at him he’s grinning and you can’t help but smile at the reactions each of the guys had to her. You look at Redtail, “Thank you, my friend.” You lift your arm in the air and she takes flight. 

“She’s beautiful.” Steve says. 

“Yeah, she is. I’m so grateful for how she’s stuck with me. I try to always give her the respect she deserves.” You say. 

“So, you warg into her just whenever you want?” Bucky asks.

“I can. I usually warg into her and ask her permission. She’s rarely denied me. She was always curious about humans and she feels safe with me, but she’s still a wild animal and I don’t want her to lose that. I want her to always be free, ya know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Bucky says with a smile. 

“Why don’t we head in and find some dinner?” Steve suggests. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m starving.” Sam says. 

As you walk in, you remember you have no food here and need to go to a store. “Hey Steve. Is there a vehicle I can use?”

“What for?” He asks. 

“My grand escape plan.” You deadpan, “I’d like to go to a store and pick up a few things. Or am I confined to the compound?”

“No, of course not. You can use the SUV in the garage. Keys are in the locker. Scan your thumb to access it.” Steve says. 

“Great. Thanks. You guys need anything?”

A round of no’s from them, you head to the store to pick up some essentials and food. The rest of the night is spent settling in.

Part 2

Masterlist

[fangirlovestuff]

A Thin Line - Natasha Romanoff x avenger!reader

a/n - hey lovely people! i’m so excited for this one! it’s for @candy-and-writing ‘s 1,000 followers challenge - congrats lovely!! i’ve never written for Natasha before, but i hope i will again because i love her:) divider is by @firefly-graphics and italics are for thoughts. enjoy!<3 

Summary: Natasha seems like she wants nothing to do with you, but you two get sent on a mission together. It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out, but when things get complicated can you count on her to come to your aid? aka, a sort of enemies to lovers :)

Prompt: “How the fuck do you turn it off?” (bold in the fic)

Word Count: 3,385

Warnings: blood and violence (both pretty brief), mentions of insecurity, explicit language 

You closed your eyes and sat back, relaxing in your seat. Natasha was the only one with you on the quinjet today, and she was flying it, so you didn't need to deal with her. For now, at least.

Most times, dealing with Natasha just meant not talking to her. Or looking at her. Actually, just… try to get out of her way. You weren't sure why, but for the moment you two met, Natasha always tried to push you away, always giving you hard glares and cold shoulders. You got the message and promptly removed yourself from her immediate surroundings every time it was possible. But, being Avengers together was a serious flaw to this plan, seeing as you needed to go on missions. Luckily, this should be a pretty easy mission today; get in, disable the missile system, get out.

You never understood Natasha's coldness towards you. In the beginning, you had tried to get close to her, talk to her even. Every time she would just brush you off, so eventually you just stopped trying. You spent countless hours wondering what on earth could make her dislike you this much. Maybe she thought you weren't good enough to be an Avenger? Or maybe the other way around – she thought you were a threat to her, because you were so little women in the Avengers? but that's absurd.

You were certainly no threat to Natasha Romanoff, who was a way better spy than you, has more field experience than you, and was prettier than you. Like, ridiculously pretty. Pretty enough that the first time you met her in person, you had to physically stop your jaw from hitting the floor, and you had to admit – she was really hot. And if you weren't working together, you would've totally asked her out right that second, but you knew better. You thought you could at least be friends, but those hopes were also crushed fairly fast.  

Safe to say, things between you and Natasha were never smooth. Right now though, you could simply rest until you got to your destination, the middle of nowhere.

You were dosing off, and you opened your eyes abruptly at the sound of Natasha's voice. "Buckle up," she said, "we'll land in five."

You did as she said and braced for the landing.

You and Natasha went out of the quinjet side by side, silently observing your surroundings. The icy land stretched out before you, the warehouse that was your target just out of sight because of a hill, but you knew it was there. You started walking, and it didn't take long for you to be on the top of the hill, the warehouse a mere 3 minutes away from you. You could see the missiles system on the roof. Very poor installation, but what could you really expect from lowlifes like the ones who used to run this place.

"It looks abandoned," you remarked, feeling awkward about the lack of conversation.

"The files said it was," Natasha answered dryly, moving forward to continue walking. You swallowed your questions and quickly caught up to her. Even on a mission, agent Romanoff just can't seem to make conversation with me.

You stood in front of the back door, and took your guns into your hands, while Natasha took her gun and tested the door handle. It was locked, as expected, but she wasted no time kicking the door down, pointing her gun at whatever emerged from the darkness, but nothing did, and she lowered her gun a little, entering cautiously. If you were friends, you would've told her she looked totally badass kicking down that door, but you weren't so you stayed quiet. Besides, I'm sure she already knows, you mulled as you followed her inside. You felt along the wall closest to you, finding a light switch and turning it on, squinting slightly at the fluorescent light.

Before you was a long hallway. The warehouse was turned into a makeshift building, different rooms for different people or occasions. You had memorized the blueprints, but even without them you could find what you were looking for – it was kind of hard to miss.

A huge room with glass walls was at the end of the hallway, and even from this distance you could see the big, old-fashioned computer system used to control the missiles.

You and Natasha moved wordlessly towards it, opening other doors in your way to make sure there was nothing there, but you found mostly supplies, which is unsurprising since this place is abandoned and in the middle of nowhere, you thought, fighting your disdain at the frankly stupid protocol of checking every corner. This whole mission seemed a little boring and unnecessary to you, disarming a missile system just so no one could get their hands on it, but sometimes that's how it is.

And it is a pretty massive missile system, you thought as you entered the big room, your eyes scanning over the large machinery. Natasha stood guard by the door while you approached the main computer, turning it on. The program was old, but very effective, you noted as you observed it for a bit, contemplating how to turn it off for good. There was always the option to set the place on fire, but that's never a good idea when the missiles are stored on the roof.

You found the self-destruct but without blowing up part of the software and were just neutralizing it when you heard heavy footsteps. You were about to call out to Nat from the other side of the room, but a hand clamped down on your mouth, and a foreign voice growled into your ear, "Shhhh. Who else is here?" the man asked.

You quickly looked over at the door and found that Natasha wasn't there, and you sighed in relief. She must've gotten away.

You quickly picked your plan of action. "Please, I'm alone, I didn't know there was anybody here," you said, allowing the panic that was rising in you to be heard in your voice. Because Natasha may be safe for now, but what if she can't turn the missiles off? Or what if she just left you here? She was a spy, it would be so easy for her to just lie and say there were complications and you died, and no one would question her because they like her more than you, and she would've gotten rid of a person she hates while you rot here and—

You took a breath as deep as the hand on your mouth allowed you. This wasn't the time to spiral. She's a professional, she won't leave you here even if she hated you. And you were a valued member of the team. You forced yourself to relax, your irrational thoughts fading. You can act panicked without actually being panicked.

The man looked around the room and clearly didn't see anything else, because he started leading you through another corridor, one you hadn't been in before.

When you left, Natasha went out of her hiding spot and cursed under her breath. She hid when she heard the footsteps, but before she managed to signal you to do the same, she saw the man grabbing you and seizing you away.

She wanted to go after you, but instead went and after seeing that it's all clear, stood in front of the computer you just stood in front of a couple of moments before.

Every fiber of her begged her to succumb to her initial urge and go after you. And she wanted to slap herself for it, because if it would've been Cap or Tony, she wouldn't have felt like this. She knew you could handle yourself, and besides, she was extremely good at containing her emotions.

She stared at the program in front of her, trying to make sense of it, trying to remember what little she knew about it, but that was your specialty.

"How the fuck do you turn this off?" she whispered under her breath before willing her mind to calm down and start figuring it out.

You let yourself be dragged by the man until you eventually entered another large room, filled with people, seemingly of the same age as the man who took you. Currently, he sat you down and tied your hands to a pipe behind your back.

"Why are you here?" he asked, taking a knife from one of the men next to him. Everyone in the room quieted down, listening.

"I just…" you said, feigning panic to buy you some time. "I was hiking and I was getting really cold but then I saw this building and it looked abandoned so I thought…" you willed yourself to look as scared as possible, tears coming to your eyes, and you inwardly thanked your mom for making you sign up for that one acting class. "I thought I could come here and get a little warm. I didn't come looking for trouble, I promise," you wavered your voice.

The man punched you in the face and you clenched your jaw at the pain. "Then why were you in the control room?" He reached inside of your pocket. You tried to get him off you, but two of his friends held you down quickly. You squirmed when he entered his hand, pulling out a paper that you had prepared to help you disable the missiles – it contained the program shortcuts for you to use if you needed them to destroy the missiles. A valuable part of your pre-mission research that the man tossed aside. Thankfully, he probably doesn't understand the program.

"Keep an eye on her," he said, leaving the room, probably to sweep the perimeter once more. Hopefully, this little interrogation bought Natasha enough time to figure out how to disable those missiles, because if not… you were definitely screwed.

Natasha spent about one minute trying to disable the program before realizing it was useless. Without you, she could never do it. She ran back to the quinjet, making it twice as short as it took you both to walk. She contacted the team back at home, and thankfully Tony answered her right away.

"Nat? What's up? Did you and—"

"Tony, I don't have time for your stupid quips. The warehouse isn't abandoned. We need backup, asap."

He could hear the urgency in her voice and told Jarvis to call for backup.

"Did you disable the missiles?" he asked.

"No," Natasha answered, moving around the quinjet in a hasty search for anything that can help her when she goes back in.

"Why? Let me talk to-"

"You can’t talk to her, Tony, they took her," Natasha said, straining to keep her voice leveled.

Tony was shocked at the display of emotion that still managed to be heard, a sign she was really upset. Things were probably going to shit over there.

"I already sent in backup, they'll be there in a bit," he said. He wanted to live, so he ignored her anxious tone.

She hung up without saying goodbye.

The people who were sitting around the room started closing in on you, looking at you.

"Poor girl," one of them said, smirking down at you, "you got into the wrong building." He took out a knife and slashed the rope that was tying you. The others still kept you in place while he grabbed hold of your wrist. You tried to pull away from him, but your face was already painfully puffing up from the punch you got before, and you couldn't break away from his grip. He moved the tip of the knife across your inner forearm, and you stopped moving, realizing if you did it would rip into your skin.

He smiled an unpleasant toothy smile when he saw you stopped moving and cut you across your arm, a long line that immediately started bleeding and you yelled at the sudden, burning pain, actual tears rising in your eyes right now. You were done for. He reached for your other arm, no doubt to do the same. Before you could struggle away, the door was kicked open.

It was kicked open by one very angry Russian spy.

You had never been happier to see Natasha than at that moment. She went in, her gun securely in her hands, steadily shooting the people who were holding you before they had the chance to realize what was happening. You fell to the floor, clutching at your bleeding arm. Everyone else scattered away, leaving the room quickly, and Natasha rushed to your side.

"Did you disable the missiles?" you asked her, your tone urgent.

"I couldn't," she shook her head, kneeling next to you and helping you up.

You couldn't help but lean on her a little, dizziness clouding your head. "Let's go to the computer room," you said through gritted teeth.

"You need medical help, you can't-"

"I can and I will. Let's go before they come back," you said. You instantly regrated taking your aggravation out on Natasha, but apparently it worked, because she started making your way to the room.

When you got there, you leaned heavily on the table, blinking a little until you could focus. You entered the final few lines and the system shut down. You sighed in relief. Natasha was back at your side, helping you move out of the warehouse, making your way to the quinjet.

"I called backup," she said, "they should be here soon." She looked at you, a frown on her face. You were losing too much blood.

"Great," you nodded, before you tripped, nearly falling on your face before Natasha caught you.

"Stay with me," she told you. You barely made the rest of the way to the quinjet, collapsing against the nearest wall. Natasha told you to stay awake, and she went to get the medical supplies.

"Keep your eyes open!" you heard her call out to you. And you tried, you really did, but you just couldn't. Your arm hurt like hell, so did your face, and you were almost grateful to feel your consciousness slip away from you, your eyes closing.

You awoke in a seat that was propped back to make a sort of bed. You could feel that your arm was bandaged. You tried to get up, but as soon as your head lifted you felt a wave of dizziness hit you. In an instant Natasha was by your side, grabbing your healthy arm and lowering you back into your previous position. "Wow, I wouldn't do that if I were you," she chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy," you smiled. "What happened? How long was I out"

"Twenty minutes. You lost a lot of blood, but you managed to disarm the missiles," she smiled. "The backup team got here fifteen minutes ago, and hey went to deal with everyone that was there."

"Who were these people?" you frowned, "how did we not know they lived there?"

"They were a part of the gang who used to run the place, and our intel that they all left was wrong. A bunch of psychos," she said, frowning at your now bandaged arm.

"Thanks," you said and moved it a little, "for that. Also, for coming back for me."

"Of course," she said. "Why wouldn't I come back for you?"

"I'm pretty sure this is the longest conversation we've ever had," you chuckled. "You hate me. It's fine, I got the hint. But I'm just glad you're professional enough to disregard that. Thank you."

"I don't hate you! Why would you think that?"

"Come on, it's okay, really. You don't talk to me, you escape every time I enter the same room as you, you're never in my presence unless you have to. I'm not dumb. I just can't figure out why you can't stand me," you shrugged as best as you could from your lying down position.

"But I don't do these things because I hate you," Natasha said. "I… okay, I almost got you killed, you deserve to know," she gathered her courage. "I don't want to talk to you or be in the same room as you because I think I'm going to make a fool out of myself, like I'm doing right this moment. I'm scared that if I spent enough time with you, I'd start… feeling, and for a spy that's a disadvantage. But the joke's on me I guess, because even when I distanced myself from you I still feel enough to lose my head, not be able to diffuse those missiles, and almost not get to you in time."

"Feel what?" you asked, still a bit puzzled.

"Feel…" she looked for the right words. Apparently, she couldn't find them, because the next thing you know she was gently cupping your bruised face in her palm, leaning down and putting her lips on yours. She kissed you gently, not wanting to hurt you, but you couldn't care less, pushing your face up against her to deepen the kiss, until you flinched in pain and broke apart from her, lying back down.

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" you smiled at her, biting your lip.

She laughed. It's corny, but it was one of the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard, and knowing you made her laugh made it all the sweeter.

"I was taught that feelings will only ever get in the way of my missions. And… I thought you wouldn't feel the same about me, so it would be all this trouble for nothing."

"Well, I do," you said and smiled brightly at her. "And see? You did great on this mission. No matter what you felt or didn't feel about me, you don't know programming and you couldn't have disarmed that system. But you saved me, and just in time," you said.

"So what you're saying is it all turned out for the best and I should take you out to dinner?" Natasha smiled.

"Mostly the first part, but dinner would be very nice," you smiled back at her.

She leaned down to kiss you again, and you broke apart with a smile. At that moment Tony entered the quinjet, calling out to you and Natasha. She promptly stood up, checking the bandage on your arm.

"Agent Romanoff, I see you've become a nurse," Tony quipped.

"I can currently think about 50 different ways to kill you," she shot back and you fought the giggle that arose in you at her sudden change of demeanor. "I have a reputation to uphold," she shrugged, as if answering your thoughts.

"Yep," Tony agreed, "Nat, you can go, and we can take it from here."

"Why would I wanna go?" Nat quirked her eyebrow.

"Well, no offense, but don't you, you know," he pointed at you, "don't like her?" he stage-whispered.

"First of all, if I did, that would be the rudest thing to say ever, but second of all, why does everybody think that?" she said incredulously.

"Okay," Tony said, raising his arms in mock surrender. "I just thought you'd both be happy to know we found everyone we could. The lunatics confessed to everything right away. And you have a week off," he added and walked out of the quinjet.

"A week off," you whistled. "That's a lot of dinners."

"It is," Nat agreed. "Why, do you have any plans for them?"

"Not unless you make them with me," you said, smirking.

"Good thinking," she smiled.

"Thank you. Now, I don't know about you, but I'd die for a shower right now, and I'm gonna need help because of this bandage," you smiled, falling into a banter with her easily.

"Oh really? I wonder who could help you," she chuckled as she left to fly you both home.

You would've pinched yourself but the pain you were still in was enough to confirm you weren't dreaming. Natasha didn't hate you, she wanted to take you out on a date. And there was nothing you wanted more than that date. A smile on your face, you dosed off into a peaceful slumber, feeling secure and happier than you have in a long time.

hope you liked it! tell me what you thought and if you want to see more nat in the future, i definitely want to write more for her! also, next on my agenda is a new Cycle update, so keep an eye out for that;) Thank you so much for reading!<3

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if you wanna join / be removed from this taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

[jiminrings]

honestly i could talk w band!hobi abt numbers all day, like i wouldn't even mind. what are ur thoughts on 27 hobi? i think they a bad bitch. also UM might i request a drabble abt like a film major! yn (that is very enthusiastic abt films and the aesthetics + cinematography and whatnot) w like,,, a theatre kid?? any of ot7 works fine and it's all good if u can't or don't want to! thankyouu 💜

muse of mine

pairing: namjoon x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: namjoon’s always been a little sensitive to feedback whether it’s positive or negative, y/n’s an endearing type of talker, and smuggled snacks to the theater haven’t ever tasted this sweet :D // gif from pinterest!

notes: i kinda switched it up a lil bit and made them more established in their respective fields bc my mind went berserk on this concept!!! also this is mayhaps my oNLY piece that’s just pure fluff

“27? The number? Hmm. That sounds... sexy.” - band!hobi

this been’s bugging you for the past half hour

this whole experience feels oddly familiar

you’ve been in this theater for half an hour so far to watch this play!!

lmao ur gonna admit RIGHT off the bat that theatre’s definitely not it for you

your slight unfondness for it is deeply-rooted back to university and for four years, you’ve consistently taken dumps on theatre kids even if it’s under your breath

alright it’s possible that you don’t hATE the actual people ( only some of them ;D ) themselves but rather this whole type of cockiness and the “i’m a direct descendant of shakespeare himself. trust me bro. on god” energy that they always seem to exhude

but realistically, maybe this deep-rooted hate stemmed from seokjin

he was the guy you’d share the exact same elective class with him for two straight whole semesters and you’ve been seatmates from time to time

homie took foreign language as an elective?????

the language is korean?????????????????

“wait b-but i — aren’t you — n-no but i really???”

that’s what you first sputtered to him in realization when he took his seat beside you

the two of you have only ever shown each other notes bc the other was dozing off and the occasional sharing of gummy bears that’s already pre-opened to not make any noise

but for some reason, it’s only dawned in you why seokjin’s a god in this class and he answers your questions without even looking at his notes by hALFWAY through the whole semester of foreign language

one day, u are gonna find a way to bodyslam yourself and never recover from it ever again

“mhmm. don’t sweat it, sweetheart. i personally think it’s very don quixote of me to y’know, take something as impractical and amusing as this.”

you snort at his choice of words because honestly!! you barely remember don quixote and jin’s use of it as an adjective jigs up a refresher course on your brain

who was he again?? 

was he the donkey

.. or are you thinking about shrek again because of your film analysis

you sWEAR there was a donkey in that story

it’s good fun to talk with jin even if he keeps sliding bourgeoisie words here and there and you’re a lil confused with all these references that he makes but that’s okay !!!

atleast even him saying it in a long-winded way that he was like someone from the merchant of somewhere, you know now that he pretty-pleased and charmed his way to the registrar for him to take korean as an elective

...

two weeks later, jin sits next to you in class 

in ACTUAL non-elective, non-native language he already speaks class

now that you’re squinting a bit more, jin does look a little uh?? different

his hair that was once a hybrid of lavender and peach and pink and then blonde was now wholly black and it’s probably his original hair color because it matches with those eyebrows of his!!!

his combo of a black bomber jacket with a silk button-up underneath honestly SLAPS and it makes you forget how he used to exclusively wear only knitted shirts and argyle-patterned cardigans

you have ur jaw dropped because you totally would’ve fallen for seokjin jAW-FIRST 

— if only he didn’t strike you as the brother type when he smacked the back of your head because you were falling asleep on class again and uhhh you mUst be forgetting that the two of you were sitting in front

you had no time to reevaluate whether you should develop a crush for him or not 

he’s immediately slapping his hands on his knees, looking at you so intensely before pointing a finger at you with so much conviction, and then scoffing to himself

“switched majors to film. theatre was gonna be the death of me!!! y/n, if you even think about trying to switch to that cheap, amazon-ordered quill and tanning lights for stage lighting major, you’re absolutely dEAD to me-”

you’ve never had a conversation this striking nor long with jin but you genuinely have no complaints at all

seokjin talks pure shit about theatre and theatre junkies and everything in between for the WHOLE day 

trails beside you for every single class you had, which was convenient because he can then sweet-talk his way again (if anybody even dared to question him) that he’s just newly-switched 

sat with you for lunch and him not eating because he just needS to tell you all about it and you trying not to choke on your pasta as you try to reply to him

followed you back hOME and decided to crash the night there

yeah, that. your unfondness for theatre’s rooted on that one

uh-huh safe to say that you’ve become best friends with jin ever since that day

you’re a sponge for your friends and jin’s the closest one you have, so it was only natural that you soak up his distastes and whatnot

not to brag but aha :D

you add salt to the water while you boil pasta so u may be a little bit of a masterchef or somewhat, no big deal :D

he’s absorbed your fascination for all kinds of lights and fixtures that he has about seven different nightlights in the form of squishies or neon and everything else on his bedside table, in which he turns all of them on at night

fun fact: he’s capable of sleeping in the dark

jin’s the whole reason for your stance on this

he’s adamant about his points and you’ve graduated uni four years ago!!!

which is why you DON’T get why jin would give you a scented black envelope, with “don’t come to this” scribbled in gold at the front, carrying a single ticket to this play with a sticky note saying “don’t watch this at 7 pm, wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes, sitting at the ninth row from the back and two seats from your right.”

because of course!! what the hell did he expect you to do? NOT come to this play at 7 pm wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes then sitting at the ninth row from the back, two seats from the right???

OF COURSE YOU WOULD

your goal in life is to do exactly the opposite of what jin tells you. there’s literally nothing else in life you’d want to fulfill

he’s made it quite easy for you to spite him and although you wouldn’t admit it.,,.,., you may be a little petty ok

he’s the even bigger goof out of the two of you and you can never have the final say!! it’s always him and his wit and yOU being the dunce

it’s a lil sus that jin’s basically ASKING for it with his instructions but whatever

whatever it is, this is finally your chance to enact the final say and you’re gonna pull ALL the stops

all you know about theater-goers is that they dress fancy and wear these mini binoculars and that’s about it

there’s not even one film you know that you see anyone in the audience wearing a worn-in cardigan or even a puffer jacket even if the theater’s mad cold

all the people bring are scarves and shawls???? thee thinnest version of a blanket that won’t warm them up against the frigid airconditioning

that whole dress code sounds ridiculous!!! great please ring out this thousand-dollar dress im gonna wear to the theater thank u

you’re a little worried that you’re not gonna blend into the crowd, but after some digging about the invitation, formal wear is most definitely recommended

it’s an exclusive invite-only play which would be later released to the general public later on so yeah the situation dOES call for a gown thank u very much

also how could you forget that jin explicitly told you not to wear this type of attire

if you’re being humble right now, which you always normally are, even if that jUST sounded boastful talking about how you’re humble all the time —

you do look pretty breath-taking :-)

even when the doors weren’t opened and everyone’s just collectively loitering outside the hall, you’d feel glances at you

the sweet security guard did a double-take at you and mumbled a “very very nice evening to you, miss :D” instead of his normal “enjoy the show!” to the other patrons before you

you’re gonna soak all the silent compliments up and try to remember all of them before writing them on your journal later hee-hee

your midnight blue satin dress that’s floor-length and off-shoulder is dEFINITELY in your favor :D

your dress still glimmers even if the spotlight isn’t on you and you wish you weren’t shy to ask a random stranger to take a picture of you

going on self-timer isn’t ideal either when there’s like a hundred other people in the room

they probably wouldn’t even care if you took a picture of yourself!!! but in your head they probably think that you’re laughable so you’d rather not.. do that

the theater’s dark as hell if that wasn’t established

it is literally pitch black in the room and the ushers at each row holding the flashlights that are meant to guide the patrons aren’t exactly helpful

big kudos to them though,, must take a lot of self-control to not wave their lights like it was a rave :D

a flashlight tHAT bright?? whew pls is this what ships feel in the night

the last time you were in a rave, your thirty minutes of fun was cut short when seokjin immediately got hammered and wouldn’t stop throwing a fit if you didn’t drive him home that instant

his energy seemed to compelling everyone that he’s managed to somehow suck the energy out of a WHOLE rave so you took him home for everyone’s enjoyment :(((( except yours apparently

you’re trying hard to focus on the play that’s happening because for the past twenty minutes, all you’ve done is zone out randomly with ideas all of a sudden 

you NEED to listen

....

uh-huh...

UH-HUH......

wait this is actually.. good

you find plays hard to follow and absolutely boring when you don’t immerse yourself in a run-down PRIOR to watching it in order to get

it’s the same analogy as reading the plot of a movie on wikipedia before watching the movie at the cinema.... absolutely useless

it sucks out the fun from something you weren’t supposed to know

watching plays is two hours of you being confused, going home to read the plot and only understand it by tHEN, and never coming to the theater again because you’d waste your money.... watching something cluelessly in the theater..... for a plot you’d grasp at home

but no

because this one

actually this one that you’re watching...

it’s not bad

it’s nice, actually.

within two minutes, you managed to grasp that it’s a story about a never-ending spring between these two lovers

there’s something about the whole setting of it actually that just sucks you in

in some plays, the outfits would seem so forced even in the given context that it reminds you of uh a particular superhero movie

and yes ur aware that stage makeup has to be enhanced so that people all the way to the back row would see

but there’s just something in this scene that’s laid out right-now that actually gets you in awe

it’s of the couple in the back of their pick-up truck and everything about it seems so natural

the background straight up looks like what it’d be if you were to go outside

the guy’s arm around her shoulder seems so natural and in nature that it doesn’t feel like a random cue in the script

the girl twinkles and it doesn’t even feel like a forced type of laugh you’d cue in attempt to warm the audience’s hearts

it’s of a plot where the the guy eventually falls out of love with the girl, while girl gets even more smitten with the guy at the same time

it’s what you take from the past ten minutes that you watch in dead silence, and you don’t even remember in the back of your head that you’re supposed to hate plays

“no way.”

you mumble in disbelief under your breath, head shaking profusely

is your mind playing tricks on you???

you’ve got too used to seokjin sitting beside you that you immediately turn to your right, whispering out your concerns 

“is it just me or is she wearing a different shade of pink?”

you don’t even buffer for one second when you ask the stranger beside you

you’re so concerned that you’re looking at him intently while waiting for his answer that could either console or despair you, a random theater-goer that’s too noisy with her questions for her own good

it’s absolutely dARK as fuck in the theater but after awhile your eyes adjusted slightly

and the first thing you look at after the stage is him

him as in the dude in your right that you just asked all of a sudden

you could only see his silhouette and the faintest features of his face along with his well-dressed suit but god

... you are totally not lying if you say that even the barest silhouette of him doesn’t look handsome

you’re expecting him to tell you off for being so noisy but instead, he’s the one who takes you by surprise

“how did you notice that?” 

:O

“oh my god!” you exclaim almost too loudly that you yourself even jolts, the guy even making you duck with him slightly for a brief second, “im sO sorry!! am i accidentally spoiling it out for you?”

the guy blinks twice, lips slightly parted before shaking his head no

“no, no... this is the first screening — i mean uh, how would you know that?”

oh boy

you’re adjusting yourself on your seat, bum now warm as you try to explain and not be nervous because what if you just made a wrong assumption about this play and you’re sitting next to a goddamn tHEATRE BUFF???

“well i —uh, uhm what’s your name?” you’re flustered and the FIRST thing you ask is what was his name.,.,,

he seems equally as flustered before he adjusts his glasses, “o-oh uhm i’m namjoon...?”

alright! handsome guy is namjoon!

“you see, namjoon — okay it might just be in my head, but i tHINK it looks deeper with the light somehow. but uh...? the spotlight’s not following her and — is it just me or without the light, her sweater looks brown?”

you’re squinting and if u squint even more, maybe your contacts would just crumple by then

hold on a second

“brown, like — oh my gOD LIKE-”

namjoon puts a hand over his mouth before you could even gasp, hand reaching out for your forearm even before you manage to grasp his shoulder to take it in realization

was it under your nose the whole time??

“... fall.”

:D

holy fucking shit

namjoon looks positively euphoric looking at your face of realization, his once-heavy chest about the whole scene becoming completely devoid of weight

“exactly!!”

his confirmation makes you inwardly squeal, grinning as you point at him and the stage back and forth

“i think this is the first play i’ve become ever interested in watching.”

okay what now

his ears perk up at that, your first sentence that you’ve said after your pink sweater that looks like spring also looks brown like fall in certain scene because of the lighting realization

“it is?”

he takes the chance to look at you as best as he could, trying to play his squinting as cool as he can

namjoon’s far sighted and the glasses he’s wearing are nOT up to date with his current grade bc he’s pretty sure his eyesight’s worsened the past month

he can’t make you out wholly, but he does know that you’re pretty

his eyes don’t linger on you because of the snacks you’re fishing from your purse while you talk that are absolutely illegal in this theater house lmao

but instead, his gaze lingers on you because you’re so pretty

the minimal light that’s bouncing off the stage is enough for him to see a faint outline of your features, highlighting your smiles just right and your dress to glint underneath

“mhmm. i actually hate plays,” suddenly, you’re not scared if namjoon happens to be some sort of theatre buff and you’re offending him because honestly, you feel at ease. “crunch?” you’re holding out the mini bar of chocolate out to him, one he politely declines to because his eyes are bulging out the next second

“you do????”

his genuine reaction indulges you, making you grin ultimately that you put off eating snacks for now to focus on him

“yeah! this is my hate outfit :D”

namjoon giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard

you automatically scoot closer because this time, it’s yOUR turn to shush him

this is totally for just the reason of talking more discreetly and not distracting anyone and is totally not an excuse to be closer to the next guy and touch shoulders with him then get a whiff of cologne because it’s rare for a guy to be handsome and aLSO smell good

your eyes get used to the darkness and eventually, you could make out features of namjoon beside you

he has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen

and the way he looks at you makes you feel safe and even your height difference is visible with how probably lonG his torso is compared to yours, his gaze doesn’t make you feel small

namjoon’s still (unsurprisingly) far-sighted and ur so close that he’s a lil cross-eyed 

fuck it he’s gonna go to ophthalmologist FIRST thing in the morning tomorrow

“then why are you here?”

“my friend seokjin,” you lean back upon realizing the original reason why you’re here, the situation being so ironic that you puff out a smile

your friend’s named seokjin?

cool :D kim seokjin is namjoon’s of his favorite directors eVER!!

second best for him actually though.,., no one could quite compare to his first

your explanation makes him cackle several times, a swell of pride recounting why you hate (it’ll be past tense probably after this one) theatre 

“what about you?”

you turn the question to him, making his dimples disappear effectively that you think you’ve just spooked him

“i uh, well i always wanted to see a story that went like this, so i’m here.”

“you’re a critic? oh god. please don’t tell me you heard all my mumbles.”

no this is even WORSE

namjoon’s not a theatre buff

HE’S A CRITIC????????????

god im coming up

“don’t worry, i also think that the drapings must probably be dirty.”

he breaks out into a smile recounting how you were talking to yourself earlier, a snort escaping him involuntarily 

“RIGHT??? it’s like how do you even clean them?? do they fit in washing machines or-”

my god he’s such a nice guy!!!

in fact, he’s everything you want in a guy

you’ve went through atleast twelve facets of emotions for the past hour and you’re not even dating!!!!!!!

“my thoughts exactly!! and if it’s by hand, how do you even scrub the entirety of it?? or wring the water out??”

namjoon KNOWS exactly what’s up :’)

“is there even a clothesline that’d bEAR the weight??”

the two of you are so happy that you just look at each other laughing, a moment in time before namjoon nudges you to lean back because the ending’s happening

you don’t even question him how he’d know that it’s the ending and not just another opening to a new scene, just listening to him

you’re so happy

the play made you happy but namjoon made you even happier :-)

“if you are a critic, you should probably open up your review with this chatty play-hating girl beside you, then at the end, close it off with how she loves it.”

it’s the parting conversation as you realize and holy fuck you are nOT ready for it

you r gonna drag this out for as long as you could <3

......

and namjoon wants in too <3

“noted. if i was a playwright, i’d even make you the lead. which detail should i include? offering me wrapper-covered rice crispy snacks, or asking how you’d watch it while going thru the bathroom?”

this feels so natural

as natural as the couple in the play you’ve just finished watching :))

“you’re hilarious,” you’re not even the slightest bit annoyed and your restrained smile tells him all about it

yea you may have brought in snacks illegally but you aRE gathering your trash up as you’re a decent human being

namjoon wishes you’d pick up after yourself slowly, standing up from his seat as he has the plan of picking up trash that isn’t even his

“what name should i put then?”

you’re silent and oh god he thinks you found his company stupid and would definitely not give him your name

you’re not ignoring him though!!!

his words are still stuck in your head, realizing it lately with his “which detail should i include?”

“me wanting to turn this into a film, actually.”

you test the words out on your tongue, nodding to yourself after a few seconds that you seem so sure of it

“yeah. i wanna make it into a film.”

the lights turn on after being dim for so long, namjoon’s eyes going wide trying to digest what you’ve just said

“w-what?

.....

no fucking way

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SWFRWFBWRHGBRBVWRV SWBHJSDB SHJAVBHGJDS BWHRGHBSVWBGRH

namjoon’s malfunctioning as he’s looking at you from eye to eye, bottom lip trembling while he’s so keen at pointing at you

“y-you’re miss y/n!!”

....

right

oH RIGHT

he’s a fan of yours??

namjoon’s fanning his face because he’s about to literally burst into tears

how could he nOT???

how could he not be emotional when all along, he’s been talking to his number one favorite director????

you and your films are the absolute gems of his life namjoon’s not even kidding

your films were world-renowned for being so natural and sentimental without loading too much into it!!!! you’re known for being so humble through the multiple back-to-back awards and praise you get!!!! 

he cannot calm the fUCK down when you’re rubbing circles on his back

“you w-want to turn my play into a film?”

oh my gOD

you’re fumbling for the envelope and it’s only nOW that you realize that it’s not from seokjin in the first place

spring day a play by kim namjoon an invite for director y/n y/l/n

“it’s you!!!!”

“no it’s YOU!!”

jin’s plan worked alright :D

he’s just FOUR rows behind you lmao

it was just two weeks ago when yoongi, the executive producer of his film that he was directing, let it slip that he was co-financing a play

he met yoongi some semesters later after he became close with you, and he’s aLSO converted yoongi into hating theatre then he fit right in to your little posse of theatre kid-hating film students

that gave jin the laugh of his laugh and yoongi was not joking at all

“no, no. i’m telling you man. it’s different! i even have the script that i’ll let you read.”

and holy shit it IS different

if you see a couple tears on the last seven pages of yoongi’s copy of spring day’s script then mind yo oWN fucking business

then two weeks later, here he is :D

jin managed to also convert you to love theatre even IF it is namjoon’s play that did all the work

( also coincidentally found you a future boyfriend because he’s tired of seeing you alone and the closest you’d get to having someone is projecting your yearning into writing the scripts for the films you’d make )

he’s also secretly co-financed the whole play along with yoongi and he’ll drop that bomb later on lmao

“and that must mean i looked like a total FOOL beside you oh my god im so sorry!!”

namjoon panics at that, about to cry when another realization hits him when he’s about to put his head on his hands

“then that means the friend who gave you the ticket was-”

SEOKJIN VBFHSBVHSFBVSFHDVBSJFV SFJVJSFVSJVSSV SSV V FS FSV SFBVRBVRSVSWVGU

he cries to your shoulder and you never expected to be hugging and consoling someone you’ve just met two hours ago, a more than fond smile on your face he takes advantage of when he sneaks in the chance to ask you

“do you mean that?”

“now why would i lie to the playwright who’s been listening to me talk shit, then theorizing, then crying for the past hour?”

it’s true though

namjoon’s seen it all

he’s still handsome as ever even when he sniffles, his dimples on display when you return his question

“now did you mean it? writing me into your play?”

why are you even ASKING

:D

he’s the biggest fan of u

namjoon’s made notes of your work, dedicated scripts to your movies, and he’s thinking about how it’s not yet hitting you how your whole epiphany about the pink sweater turning brown on his play,,, was entirely inspired from you and your affinity for lighting in your films

he thinks it’s still a little early to kiss you on the cheek even if you’ve already hugged, instead settling on pinching your cheek with satisfaction present in all corners

“you’ve always been my muse.”

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//i have called you darlin' and i'll say it again

Request: Can I request a super fluffy Sweet Pea/Reader, the song Make you Mine by Public is kinda song I'd recommend listening to for it, not necessarily a song fic but just like Sweet Pea flirting/crushing on reader sort of thing

hey! so i had an idea for this and i really hope you like it! its a bit different to how i usually write and maybe a little different to what you were expecting. but i dunno, i just really liked the idea. i hope you do too! (if you don’t just tell me and i’ll write something else because this is a little different to the request) also, ‘lips’ is an inside joke between me and my girlfriend, and this is going to look really weird here but if you read on you’ll get what I mean. 

From the moment Sweet Pea saw you, he knew you were the one. 

He’d finally made it to the end of the first week of college, and with the help of his roommates he’d been invited to the first party of the school year. 

If you’d asked him a year ago where he would be in 12 very long months, he definitely would not have said stood in a frat house, playing beer pong a bunch of Chad’s and Jason’s. But here he is, and to his surprise he’s actually enjoying it. A lot more than he thought he would. 

He knows he probably should be back in his dorm, studying or sleeping or whatever freshman are supposed to be doing. But after the first week he’s still feeling a little lost. He doesn’t have any of his friends as Toni and Fangs both went to different college’s in different parts of the country. Classes are long, homework’s confusing and teachers are rude. 

He’s surrounded by people that are so different from the ones back home, and so he can’t help feeling that he sticks out just a little bit. He’s unsure about the world of college, and so maybe going to a party will help him understand everything a little better.  

But then he see’s you and everything falls into place. 

You’re stood on the other side of the crowded room, a small red cup in your hand that matches those of the people around him and he looks down at his own drink, realizing that maybe he should have poured the bottle into the plastic cups everybody seems to have, even if they are ridiculously small and make him look like a giant. 

You’re laughing, your head tilted back, your nose scrunched up, your eyes closed as the people around you join in. Your little group seemingly in their own world. Complexity unaffected by the loud music and even louder people. 

He realizes he probably looks at least a little weird just staring at some stranger, but he can’t take his eyes away from you. He’s being pulled towards you, he has a need to talk to you, like his entire future balances on you. 

It takes a while, but he eventually talks to you. And after some awkward moments, the two of you are stood in the kitchen. He’s happy for the first time since he left Riverdale. You laugh at something he said that wasn’t meant to be funny and he feels the entire world fall away around him. It’s just you and him. Him trying desperately to make you laugh, and you doing it probably out of pity. 

You suggest a walk after a few minutes of shouting ‘what’ at each other trying to be heard over the music. And when he raises an eyebrow in surprise, you notice and make sure to to tell him it’s nothing funny, it’s just to talk. He agrees and you grab his hand, pulling him through the living room. 

You ask him if he knows what a french exit is and he shakes his head. You smile at him, its small but no less breathtaking and full of questions he wants answers to. ‘I’ll show you’ you say and for a second he’s worried that he’s got himself involved in something sketchy, something that Fangs told him he would have to be prepared for, something of which he told him to ‘fuck off’ for. 

But then you grab his hand and pull him towards the back door. It slams shut behind you and you’re both left standing in the back garden. It’s cold, an autumn breeze hanging around but it’s a welcome on your warm skin and you hope in the darkness that he can’t see the soft blush that dusts your cheeks.  

He watches you look around, a confused expression on your face before you look back at him, a slightly embarrassed smile settling on your lips. ‘I thought we could get out this way’. He laughs, making your smile brighten and even though you still feel embarrassed it’s not so bad anymore. 

‘We could climb over the fence.’ He suggests, you follow his gaze until the two of you are staring at a large wooden fence.

“Are you being serious?’ You ask, blinking at him. 

“It’s not that high.” 

“Maybe not for you, big foot.” 

“Wow, like I haven’t heard that one before.” He says eventually. 

“You know what they say, college is about new experiences.” You send him a sarcastic smile, to which he just laughs and shakes his head at. “Speaking of, if you want to climb over that, you’re going to have to help.” 

“Or we could just go back in and go through the front door.” He says, looking back at the house but you’re already stood by the fence, waiting with your arms crossed. 

“Nope.” You shake your head. “Once you’ve french exited, you can’t go back.” 

“French exited? Is that a word?” He asks, getting on one knee so he can help you over the fence. You smile at him before throwing your bag over the fence and grab his shoulder, ready for him to push you up. 

“Yep.” You reply, pushing yourself up and over the fence. 

“In what language?” He asks, following you shortly after. Both of you land with a thud, thankfully on your feet but Sweet Pea still gets a glare after narrowly missing your bag. 

“Mine.” 

“How did you get into college?” He asks sarcastically. 

You start to wander down the street, not waiting for him and it takes him a few seconds before he notices you’ve gone. The moon hides behind the clouds and you sigh, disappointed that there’s no stars out tonight. He watches you look up at the sky and follows your gaze. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You reply, looking back at him with a soft smile. 

“I would actually.”

He hears you sigh, deciding that tonight just a glimpse of the moon will have to be good enough, before footsteps start again. 

But he continues to look up at the sky, watching a future he so desperately wants paint itself on the cloudy canvas. 

A shy friendship that slowly evolves the more you get to know each other. With flirty conversations that always border on something else, both of you terrified to step a toe over the line. It’s filled with innuendos that neither of you pick up on until it’s too late or that make the other blush like mad.

Longing looks when the other isn’t looking that keep you up half the night. And awkward eye contact followed by weird smiles on the rare occasion that you’re caught.  

Brushing of fingers when you reach for the same thing...

“I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again. Stop putting the snacks on the top shelf.” 

“This is my house?!” 

“And?” 

And nudging of elbows when one of your other friends says something stupid. Both of you sharing a look because you know for a fact when you’re alone you’re going to laugh about whatever’s been said. 

Looking forward to the next day just because you get to see them and constantly checking your phone as you wait for text. Spending hours thinking of different excuses to hang out with another and even more hours afterwards thinking about the time spent together. 

Inside jokes that confuse others around you but make you both laugh louder than anybody else. 

“Hey. Hey. Hey. Sweet Pea?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Lips.”

“Okay, what the fuck does that even mean? Why are you both laughing so hard? What is so funny about lips!?!!” 

Tight chests when you see them laughing loudly with someone else. Wanting to be with each other all the time, just by their side. You don’t even have to do anything, you just want to spend time with each other. Checking to see if they’re laughing at something you’ve just said and feeling an indescribable heartache when they’re not paying any attention. 

Watching for the other to walk into a room, and when they finally arrive and smile at you, its like your whole body smiles back at them. It doesn’t matter if its at a party, a class or if they’re just visiting your dorm. 

Wanting to be the only thing they see, wanting their heart and soul. 

And when your other friends question or tease you about it, you always deny it, even if the redness of your cheeks say otherwise. And always having each others backs despite how much it might hurt. 

“Darlin-I mean Y/n.” 

“Did you just call her darling?” 

“Wha-no. I didn’t!” 

“Oh my god! Yes you did. You just called Y/n darling.” 

“I didn-” 

“Y/n, you heard that right?” 

“Nope, I dunno what you guys are talking about.” 

“thank you.” 

Thinking about what it would be like to kiss them, what their lips would feel like against yours. How they would kiss you. Would it be soft and gentle or rushed? How their hands would feel on your skin or in your hair. 

Awkward first dates turn into weekly movie dates as a couple, filled with making out more than watching the actual film and more pizza than you can both handle. Its spent laughing at cheesy rom-coms and Sweet Pea’s aversion to horror films. 

You sneaking out the next morning, trying hard not to wake his roommate, despite him knowing you’re there. And Sweet Pea always asks the same question. 

“Are you french exiting me?” 

To which you always reply, “No, and I thought that wasn’t a word.”

“To you it is so I suppose I’ll let it go.” 

You meeting his friends during the holidays, and them loving you. You and Toni talking about how hard college is, and Fangs telling you every single embarrassing Sweet Pea story, his favourite being the almost threesome with Toni and somebody else. Both Sweet Pea and Toni hate it when he tells that story, especially because he tells literally every single person he meets. Thankfully though, you find it funny but promise to not talk about it ever again. 

He meets your family and friends the next holiday and it’s your tun to be embarrassed, although none of your stories can beat his though so you don’t feel so bad. You spend the week stealing kisses when no one’s around and making sly remarks about your aunt, uncle and their snotty kid, who’s older than you but acts like a spoilt 8 year old. It’s Sweet Pea that suggests the french exit one night after dinner and thats when you realize you love him. 

He looks after you when you’re sick, and you do the same. You watch your favourite movies, cuddled up together under a mountain of blankets and tissues, despite protests of the other one getting sick. And when they inevitably do, the favour is returned. You don’t how you’re both not just constantly sick. 

There’s arguments that feel like they won’t end and days that you just don’t want to end. 

Shouting and crying and slamming of doors that always ends in long hugs and whispered apologies. 

You graduate together, one straight after the other and the two of you are smiling the entire day. Toni, Fangs and your family have flown over to see you both graduate, and they’re equally proud of you both. 

You get ready together but Sweet Pea still feels breathless when he see’s you. A small ‘wow’ escaping his lips as he watches you twirl around your room. He grabs your arm and spins you around, earning a surprised squeal from you. 

You’re never far apart from each other the whole day, wanting to be next to each other at all times. And it comes in handy when Fangs gets drunk and you have to stop him telling the threesome story to your parents. 

You made it! You did college! Well done! Now what though?

It’s time to go out into the real world and Sweet Pea feels like he did all those years ago at that party. Lost. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, where he’s going to live. 

But he watches you sleeping peacefully beside him and he knows whatever he chooses it’ll be okay, because you’re there with him. 

You figure your lives out together, making sure that the other is always a part of it. And after a while of working in some slightly stressful jobs, that aren’t really what you want to do but something you need to do to live, you save enough money to rent an apartment. It’s small, but it’ll do for now. And the two of you have fun searching for cheap furniture to fill it with. Nothing matches but its perfect and you don’t want it anyway else. 

He cooks, you do the dishes and you dance in the kitchen when certain songs come on. 

The song that were played at the party when you met and Sweet Pea can never remember the name of it so you always have to remind him. 

“Darlin’, whats that song called again? You know which one I’m on about. La, la, la, la.” 

“Make You Mine, Sweet Pea. And it’s 3am, go to sleep.” 

“Yeah! Thats the one...hey Y/n. Whats it called again?” 

“Make You Mine.” 

“Already am baby.” 

“You’re an idiot.”

The song you sang as you walked down the street together later that night, because he said something that reminded you of it. 

“Take me to your best friends, I love you then, I’ll love you now!” 

“What?” 

“You were talking about your friend Fangs.” You say, now very embarrassed at your sudden outburst. 

“His house is a bit far away but we can go if you want.” He replies making you laugh loudly.

When he gets back to his dorm the next morning, he makes a playlist, the first song in it being that one. He calls it ‘for y/n’, and he continues to add to it constantly. 

It’s got the one that reminds him of you, and to this day he still tries to fit your name into and fails miserably but it still makes you laugh and thats why he continues does it. 

That one song that played in the car on the way to getting groceries that he shout-sang for some reason and you both ended up sat in the parking lot for an extra ten minutes just singing. 

It has your go-to karaoke song that you have a little dance routine made up for, that you occasionally still practice in the kitchen, just so your moves are the best they can be for karaoke. 

He plays Make You Mine while proposing. What started as doing the dishes after dinner, ending in both of you crying while lying in a heap on the floor after you jumped on him. 

And its played again as your first dance at your wedding, but again, what starts as a very sweet and serious dance ends in you doing the routine from your karaoke song. 

He grabs your hand when everyone is too drunk to notice you’re both missing, pulling you through the endless corridors of the hotel you’re in. 

“What are we doing?” You ask as you clutch your dress with the other hand. 

“Do you know what a french exit is?” He replies, making you roll your eyes. 

“I do yes. How do you know what one is?” 

“Oh, a pretty girl showed me once.” 

“And where’s this pretty girl now?” 

“She’s married to some loser.” He shrugs making you glare at him. 

“Hey, that ‘loser’ is my best friend. And I know for a fact that whoever is marrying him is the luckiest woman in the world.” You scold and he rolls his eyes. 

He pulls you through the back door and the two of you stare the fence in front of you. 

“I thought we could get out this way.” He sighs. 

“We could always climb over it.” You say, squeezing his hand and sending him cheeky smile. “But you will have to help me.” 

“Always.”

“Sweet Pea? Are you even paying attention?” Kyle asks, hitting the serpents arm gently. Sweet Pea blinks, staring at the group of boys stood around the ping pong table. 

“Are you okay?” Another asks. “You kinda zoned out for a few minutes.” 

“I-er. Yeah.” He shakes his head. “I’m gonna go get some air.” He says dazed. He places the cup gently on the table before walking away, he feels dizzy and he has no idea whats just happened.

But then he see’s you and everything falls into place. 

Laughing with your friends, your head tilted, your nose scrunched up, your eyes screwed shut, and the whole world stops. 

An entire future between the two of you waiting to be lived. A whole life waiting to happen.

He just has to talk to you. 

So he takes a deep breath and slowly makes his way across the crowded room to where you’re stood. 

It feels like the whole world has stilled as he looks at you, waiting patiently for you to finish your conversation with a dark haired girl, it looks purple in the lighting but he’s can’t be sure, and then he realizes that the hair colour of a stranger isn’t exactly the most important thing right now. 

She’s the first to notice him, she glances between him and you before a small smile twitches at her lips, and within seconds she’s gone, taking the rest of the group with. You frown and watch as they leave, confused as to where they’re going. 

Sweet Pea coughs awkwardly making you jump and turn around. The room goes quiet, the noise from the music and shouting falls away as he looks at you, a confused expression pulling softly at your features, as your gaze makes its way up to his face. The confusion is quickly replaced with a smile. Its bright and warm and it makes Sweet Pea smile in return. 

“Hi.” You lean into him, trying to be heard over the music and Sweet Pea momentarily forgets how to breathe. 

“Hi.” He replies, also leaning in. He’s trying so hard to play it cool, and at first it works, that is until he leans in too far and smacks his head off yours. “Shit sorry.” He says quickly, clutching his head while you do the same to your own. 

He’s fucked it. He knows he has. He’s definitely fucked it. 

“Its fine.” You laugh. “Don’t worry about it. What’s your name?” 

“Sweet Pea.” 

“Y/n.” You reply. “Do you want to get a drink?” 

[lovelyirony]

Moony-Eyed

@bironfam i hope this is okay! 

Tony didn’t think that their new astronaut was going to be anything special. 

Well. 

That’s a lie. 

You kind of have to be special if you’re going to be an astronaut for NASA. You have to keep your cool, have good eyesight, and be okay with the possibility of dying. Maybe. Maybe you have to be cool with that. 

Tony is rather good at his job. From revolutionizing how space suits are made to making the functions of the ship easier to manage, Tony is NASA’s secret weapon, the handyman of all handymen. 

He’s usually squirreled away in his workshop, at his apartment that he honestly needs to clean far more than he does, or arguing with Potts about why he needs eight different coffee mugs. 

They know him as a guy who doesn’t exactly give a rat’s ass about the chain of command, or dress code. 

“You can’t fire me,” he had told Happy, after he had tried once again to stop Tony from entering areas containing sensitive information in sweatpants and a sweatshirt that proclaimed him the “MIT class of 1992.” 

Tony is good at his job, nearly too good. He likes it that way. 

But back to the astronaut. 

Danvers had taken leave to take care of her family, and honestly? Space usually isn’t a lifetime event for astronauts. You see too much of it, you need time away. A lot of time away. 

Pepper is giddy. She loved Carol, but Carol was happily married with a baby girl, and this one? This one wasn’t. 

Not that Pepper was looking for anyone. No, she and her partner Nat had standing date nights every Saturday evening, and she loved them too much to even think about anything else. 

But Tony? Tony needed someone. He never really dated anybody, at least not anybody that he genuinely liked. 

Stark was a powerful name, and it got tossed around a little bit, but Tony mostly kept to himself and only responded to it when he was at a party or Happy was mad at him for forgetting his ID badge yet again. 

James Rhodes was a nicely built man with a strong, confident aura, and single. 

(Pepper had checked.) 

She thought that he and Tony would get along quite well, if anything. 

James is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He’d rather just get to work on what he needs to do. Getting into the air is one of the best feelings, and the sooner he can experience it, the sooner he’ll be fine. 

He always pushed the limits, and space is just the last limit he gets to push. He’s excited. He’s always wanted to work for NASA, be on their roster of astronauts. He wants little kids who identify with him to know that they can do it too. 

So he’s ready to work with the best and brightest of their era. 

“Where the fuck are my nachos?!” 

His head whips around to a man who is wearing an ill-fitting cardigan (that is most likely not his), old jeans that have what look to be equations written on one thigh, and glasses that are most definitely broken sitting at an angle. 

“Your nachos were too close to the computers,” one woman says without looking up. “Stop bringing nachos here or I’m going to fucking kill you.” 

“You can’t kill me,” the man retorts. 

“Tony,” comes another voice. James turns and sees who must be Pepper Potts. “Go to your office. Now. Change your pants, you wrote on them again.” 

“I did?” 

He looks down and swears. 

“Son of a bitch!” He then looks at Jim. “Wait, who are you? Are you the new astronaut?” 

“Uh, yes? I’m James.” 

He sticks out his hand. 

Who seems to be Tony stares at his hand. 

“Your name is seriously James?” 

“Do you think I’m bad at jokes?” he asks, eyebrows raised. 

Tony grins. 

“No, I think you’re gonna be a riot. But I’m not calling you James.” 

“Jim, then.” 

“No,” Tony says. “You’re not an old man, you’re still attractive.” 

His eyebrows raise. 

Tony’s face pales. 

“I’m going to. Go. I have math on my pants.” 

Pepper snorts, readjusting her grip on her clipboard. 

“Welcome to NASA, Colonel Rhodes. I can promise you that we don’t usually yell about our lunch location or write on articles of clothing.” 

- 

Surprisingly, James doesn’t see Tony for two weeks. Apparently, he’s been working outside with a couple of the interns to calculate some stuff, rework some of the older ships for experience, and stay out of the way of Pepper, who says that he’s attempting to murder her via headaches to deal with. 

He seems interesting, however. There are sticky notes and papers all over the offices and breakrooms reminding people of what Tony had for breakfast/lunch/dinner, or where the extra coffee supplies are. 

“You provide for him?” he asks Pepper one time. 

“He gets too much into his own head sometimes,” Pepper says. “He focuses too much on a program or an improvement and forgets that he works around other people. You wouldn’t believe how many times we had miniature science experiments based off of lunches that he would leave in the fridge.” 

Rhodes nods. “Well. I’ll look forward to working with him.” 

- 

Tony has been working outside of the office for two reasons: 

1.) To legitimately help the interns. (Ned and Peter are making improvements!) 

2.) James Rhodes is the hottest guy on earth. Maybe in the universe. For real. Seriously. 

He hates Pepper for this. Didn’t even tell Tony what the new astronaut looked like, and then shows up with a god of a man. Rude and unfair. 

And he had to be the dumbass with the equation on his pants. 

He didn’t even have spare pants! He had to stay in his office for the whole day because the equation was actually really important and he needed it. 

“Why didn’t you just transfer it over on paper?” Bruce asks over the phone. Bruce is his friend who works in a technically classified, off-the-books, not-exactly-government-issued building. He’s cool. He also points out the obvious. 

“I’m the biggest idiot on the planet,” Tony groans. “There was just a new guy at work, and he threw me off balance, so-” 

“What’s he look like?” 

“Why, you not crushing on that hot Nordic space dude?” 

“No, still am. But I still remember when Barton came to work for you guys and you didn’t know that his name wasn’t George until about six months into him working there.” 

“In my defense, he works mostly with physical therapy and prep for no gravity,” Tony says. “I work with math and shit.” 

“Still,” Bruce says. “You wouldn’t have pointed him out if you didn’t think he was cute. What’s he like?” 

“I...don’t exactly know.” 

“Oh my god, you’ve been avoiding him?” 

“Oh what, like you didn’t jump out of a window when Thor almost saw you in a tank top?” 

“I have a farmer’s tan! Totally different circumstance!” 

“Is it?” 

“I hate you.” 

“Get to dating Thor and then we’ll talk again. Have fun re-revolutionizing green energy, Dr. Banner.” 

“Look to the stars, Tony.” 

- 

James has to get fitted for his suit. 

He faces Tony, who looks quite different from when he first saw him. His hair is somewhat less messy, he has one of those geeky NASA-logo shirts that they sell at Target, and is wearing khaki pants with about a million different pockets. 

(Something in his mind is whispering that he definitely shouldn’t find him attractive. But he will anyways.) 

“Alright space-cowboy, let’s get your measurements,” Tony says. “You feeling okay today?” 

“Right as rain.” 

“Rain is never good, sunshine,” Tony quips. “Now, about your nickname from me...hm. Rhodey.” 

“How’d you figure that out?” 

“Substituted the ‘s’ for a ‘y’, just simple stuff,” he says with a shrug. “You approve?” 

“I...guess.” 

“Good. Now Rhodey, how are you feeling?” 

“Like sunshine and gumdrops,” he responds sarcastically. 

Tony smiles, and damn if it makes his heart thump a bit. 

“Better answer, soldier. Extend those arms, please.” 

Tony smells really nice. Subtle cologne and clean laundry. Rhodey finds that he likes it. 

“How’ve you been doing, Tony?” 

“Like a gentle breeze on a day that’s seventy-two degrees,” Tony answers. “Work’s been good today. Helen made tacos.” 

“I had some of those, they were pretty good.” 

“Mm,” Tony answers. “Legs a bit more apart, thank you.” 

Rhodey shifts his stance a little bit, carefully not watching Tony bend down just a tad to get the bottom of his foot. 

(But oof, that was hard.) 

Tony comes back up again, looking into Rhodey’s eyes. For a moment, for a brief moment, his breath is taken away. 

“I need to wrap my measuring tape around your waist. You okay with that?” 

“More than.” 

“Don’t get saucy,” Tony winks. “No one likes more than one floozy at the office, and that’s what got me this job anyways.” 

Rhodey lets out a laugh, and Tony grins. 

He likes making him laugh. Likes it more than he should. 

- 

They spend more and more time together. Tony always makes adjustments, Rhodey realizes that Tony doesn’t exactly keep track of when he eats, so they have lunch together. 

They like it a lot. 

On good-weather days, they eat outside on a bench. Tony leans against one said, foot brushing Rhodey’s calf, and Rhodey doesn’t really mind because he’ll lean over occasionally and steal whatever Tony’s eating. 

“This is theft, you know.” 

“You eat like a bird, what do you know about food theft?” 

Tony almost always stays later than anyone else except for nights with Rhodey. 

Once a month, they have dinner together. Rhodey’s new to the area and Tony’s almost never social with anyone, so they’ve been working through a list of the three-star-rated restaurants and seeing which ones they like. 

“It’s kind of like a date,” Pepper says, on her monthly hangout with Tony (and also kind of a clean-up party for his house). 

“Not dates,” Tony says. “Just friends. I’m sure he has his eye on someone in or out of the office.” 

“Like you?” 

“His first impression of me was me writing an equation on my pair of jeans, and then I haven’t exactly upgraded my style since,” Tony deadpans. “He’s seen me in neon orange sweatpants, Pep. You don’t exactly come back from that.” 

“Maybe he likes you for who you are!” 

“God that’s such a bullshit answer,” Tony whines. “You sound like a straight-to-video movie that came out in 1997!” 

“That’s too specific.” 

“And? You still get the point!” 

Pepper flings a pillow his way. 

“Where is your wine?” 

“In the same cabinet you always leave it.” 

“Goody.” 

While Pepper sways to bed, Tony thinks about what she said. 

It could be possible. Tony had never exactly asked him about himself in that capacity, but Rhodey never had an odd reaction to a statement that involved talking about a partner of the same-sex or a one-liner about it. 

Maybe? 

...no. 

Guys like Rhodey deserved someone better than someone who forgot to eat lunch four out of the seven days of the week. (And maybe four was being generous.) 

- 

On the flipside, Rhodey was currently telling his woes to Carol, who was laughing at him. 

“You nerd!” she says. “You like Tony, and you’ve done nothing about it? Have you even told him that you also like guys? Cuffed your pants?” 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I just...why would he like someone like me? I’m...boring.” 

“You’re not boring,” Carol says. 

“Yeah you are!” Maria calls from the kitchen. “You’re very boring, Mr. ‘Only-Drinks-Black-Coffee’!” 

Carol giggles. 

“Maybe Maria has a point. Maybe.” 

Rhodey groans, leaning against the couch. 

“I’m so fucked.” 

“On the contrary-” 

“Oh shut up.” 

- 

Pepper is tired of people’s problems. They’re getting closer and closer to launch, and Clint’s out sick and Helen is being weird again, and Jane is off somewhere to a secret government-but-not-government launch to discuss things with two potential boyfriends. (Maybe boyfriends. Maybe.) 

Tony is getting stressed. 

Usually, he’s the only one who’s fine during a launch. He’s still cracking jokes, making fun events, and calming down people who are a bit too nervous. 

But usually, he’s not as close to the astronaut as this. 

He’s been thinking about the accidents they’ve had over the years. He doesn’t want a repeat. He’s been pulling all-nighters, avoiding sleep, and checking in on Rhodey consistently, to the point where Rhodey has to drag him outside and tell him that things will be fine. 

(In Pepper’s professional opinion, they’d be fine if they just did a goodbye kiss or whatever, but okay.) 

Tony’s getting into his own head. 

So is Rhodey. 

He’s going to be gone for a long time. He’s going to miss the holidays. And Tony won’t be able to talk to him everyday. 

“You should tell him,” Pepper murmurs. “I think you both would benefit from it.” 

“I’m not going to play that unfair card,” Rhodey murmurs back. “I either confess my love and go to a dangerous mission knowing that he loves me back and I said it when I can’t return, or he doesn’t and I just played a guilt-trip card.” 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Rhodey shakes his head. 

“I...I can’t do that to him. Wouldn’t be right. After the mission.” 

“After, then,” Pepper says. “When you come home.” 

Rhodey grins. 

- 

The day of launch happens far quicker than anyone wants it to, most of all Tony. 

Pepper actually kicked him out of his office, told him to shower, and wear something nice for once. 

“Make sure he knows he has someone to come home to,” Pepper says. “Wear your turtleneck!” 

“It’s only September,” Tony scowls. “And he’s his own person who’s about to launch himself into space.” 

“He will be fine,” Pepper says. “With your research and work, we’ve cut down overlooked mistakes by about forty percent.” 

“Still not half.” 

“Because we’re NASA,” Pepper sniffs. “Our mistakes matter more, so we make less of them.” 

Tony nods. 

-

He ends up almost being late to the launch because of Pepper’s stupid wardrobe advice. 

He’s wearing his nicest pair of pants, a button-up that’s been at the back of his closet for quite some time, and he’s feeling stupid because he had to play AC/DC in the car so he would actually focus on what was going on. 

Now he’s waiting for Rhodey to exit wearing the space suit that he made and to tell everyone that it was an honor and a privilege to be going to space where things happen and Tony can’t be there to help. 

Life sucks. 

But it goes on, and there’s Rhodey in the brilliantly-designed suit, and Tony’s never been more proud and more sad, but he sucks up his tears and walks up anyways. 

“Hey space-cowboy. Ready to explore the frontier?” 

“As ever,” Rhodey says. “You ready to forget to eat your lunch all over again?” 

Tony smiles. 

“You’ll have to check in with me soon, then,” Tony says. “Cut the mission short?” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Wish I could. But I’ll send you pictures,” he says. “I promise.” 

Tony stops for a moment, smile dropping from his face. 

“Promise me one more thing.” 

“Anything,” Rhodey says. “Anything you want.”  

“Come back safe. Swear to me that you will.” 

Rhodey grins. 

“Safe and sound, honey. Safe and sound.” 

Tony watches him board the ship, wave to the cameras, and wink at him. 

He rolls his eyes, but blows a kiss anyways. 

-

Tony’s a nervous wreck. 

Pepper has decided that Rhodey needs to not go on missions anymore, or at least take Tony with him because he’s annoying. 

“Can you stop crying on the second floor bathroom? It’s getting annoying,” Pepper says. “Clint says he can hear you and feels bad.” 

“Well how are we supposed to know that Rhodey’s okay?!” Tony says. “For all I know, he could be dead!” 

“I really hope you don’t mean that,” comes a voice from behind. 

Tony whips around, seeing Rhodey’s grainy face from the big screen. 

“You bitch!” 

He laughs, and it doesn’t sound real, but he can see him. 

“Hey Tony. You been making sure no one is pissed at you for forgetting your dinner in the fridge?” 

“Well, now I will,” he admits. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” Rhodey smiles. “How’s everything been down there?” 

“Boring,” Tony says. “When are you coming back?” 

“I got about two more months,” Rhodey says. “And then I’ll be back.” 

“Quit hogging all the screen time,” Natasha teases. “You lovebirds can have your moment on earth.” 

Tony blinks. 

“What.” 

But by that time, Natasha and Sam have already been asking a million questions, and Pepper is filling Rhodey in on what he’s missed. 

Tony is still stuck on the whole ‘lovebirds’ thing that Natasha suggested. 

...that couldn’t be possible. And yet if other people saw it that way...

“Tony? Tony?” 

He blinks again, looking back up at the screen. 

Rhodey is smiling at him, that smile that means that he’s happy to see someone. 

“I’ll see you soon, honey.” 

“Right back at you, space-cowboy.” 

The screen goes to black, and Tony smiles a bit. 

“Aw, you nerd,” Clint teases. “So, you gonna ask him out on a date?” 

“Clint, I will cut off your leg,” Tony says cheerily. “I have to go finish some paperwork!” 

Tony’s done all of his paperwork, it’s one of the few times that Pepper’s had it done on time. 

He has to keep doing things to stop thinking about Rhodey. 

-

He writes him letters. He knows that he won’t ever read them, but writing letters helps and sometimes it makes his hands less jittery. 

He’s not ever going to send them. Ever. Letters are cheesy and they feel...personal. 

Pepper tells him that he’s being lame. 

“I’m not being lame!” Tony cries. “I am just. Protecting myself!” 

“You have the reasoning of a Jane Austen love interest,” she says flatly. “I swear if you don’t tell him, then I’ll meddle. And you know how bad I am when I meddle.” 

“You literally have made things so much worse for so many people,” Tony responds. 

“Not worse, per se.” 

“Oh right, how could I forget?” Tony exclaims sarcastically. “You made things the worst.” 

“If we weren’t such good friends, you’d be dead,” Pepper says. 

“Then let’s be worst enemies,” Tony mutters. “You still ready for pizza night?” 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Pepper says. “Meet at your place at seven, right?” 

“Right.” 

-

Here is what Tony does not know: Rhodey’s coming back down earlier than expected, and Pepper knows this. 

So she’s been busying Tony with work while she’s acclimating Rhodey to life on earth again. 

“Has he really missed me?” Rhodey asks for about the twentieth time in about two hours. 

“Yes,” Pepper says. “I hope these aren’t your talking points for your interviews. If people know you’re this much of a love-struck idiot in real life, they won’t take you seriously.” 

“I just missed him!” 

“Oh sure,” she responds, rolling her eyes. “And I’m sure you’ll tell the news reporters that you missed me with as many stars in your eyes as now. You like him, you absolute geek.” 

“Well, maybe a little,” Rhodey mutters. “But you’re sure he’ll like the surprise?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

-

Tony is having, perhaps, the worst day in his life. Maybe in history, if he’s being quite honest. 

His car, for one thing, won’t start for more than is done-away-with concern, so he has to call Pepper and say that he’s going to be late since he has to fix his own car. 

“Will you get coffee on the way here?” Pepper asks. 

“Your usual order?” 

“Yeah, you know the drill.” 

Then the line is long because some stupid person wanted to complain, and Tony was this close to just threatening to buy the entire store to make it stop, and he cried on his way to work because he saw a duck cross the road and it reminded him of how Rhodey crashed his first car avoiding a duck that was crossing the road. 

Yeah. It’s rough. 

Then he parks in the wrong parking spot because some asshole with a stupid rental car took his usual spot, and then he stepped in a puddle. 

He hates today. 

“Pepper!” he declares as he enters the building. “I wore jeans today, I got your coffee, and I’m already done with the day. I swear to god if one more unexpected thing happens, I’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and go work for the Soviets!” 

“The Soviets aren’t a thing, Tones.” 

He knows that voice. 

He fucking knows that voice. He isn’t supposed to be back from that mission for another month. 

Tony doesn’t turn around. 

“I’m hallucinating. Oh my god, I’m hallucinating.” 

Hands wrap around his neck, hugging him. 

“This feel like a hallucination?” 

(Okay so Tony drops the coffee.) 

Rhodey’s smile is blinding, and he’s...he’s here. Right in front of him with those not-supposed-to-be-that-hot polo shirts, those eyes that he could get lost in, and just...

Well. 

He hugs him and he hugs him tightly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back so soon?!” 

“Pepper organized it,” Rhodey says, giddy. “Decided it would be a nice surprise for you.” 

Tony looks over at Pepper, who’s trying to hide a grin behind her hands. 

“Pepper if I wasn’t so over-the-moon right now, your heels would be snapped.” 

She shrugs. 

“Worth it. You requested today off, by the way.” She winks as she turns back to her office. 

“Well, what do you say?” Rhodey asked. “Help me get used to having my feet back on the ground?” 

Tony grins. 

“Dinner sounds like a good start. Gotta get you some good earth food, none of that dehydrated crap.” 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had a decent slice of pizza?” 

Tony grins. 

“I can fix that.” 

[sammysmaddy]

Jealous (Sam x Reader)*

Summary: You've been on the road with the Winchesters for a while now. You're a bit flirtatious, a little too risky, but it's all fun and games until someone wants to take you up on your offer. What the brothers don't know is that you're all talk, you're still a virgin.

Characters: Frustrated!Sam x Virgin!Reader, OMC!Evan x Reader (briefly)

Rating: 18+

Tags and Warnings: Flirting, swearing, Embarrassed!Reader, loss of virginity, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, pls), p in v, semi-confused Sam idk lmfao, frustrated Sam, a bit of degrading (not really), flufffffyyyyyyy, fingering... that's about it, purely fluffy vanilla smut.

W/C: 6,100+

A/N: Something about one of the Winchesters going back in time and taking my virginity is very... appealing. Enjoy lovelies x. Not beta’d, not even sure what that means lmfao.

Masterlist

•••

You were a flirt. Not only that- you loved to admit it. You loved the power you held when you were confident and cocky, only to let down all of those men. You did it at every bar, even when you were hunting with the Winchesters. You flirted with anybody who would listen and most played the game back. It was satisfying to let them down every time.

You were different than Dean when it came to flirting and much different than Sam. Dean tended to pick the girls who seemed like they were up for a good time, taking home whatever he could get. Sam was smarter. Sam chose the girls that didn't throw themselves at him, but even if he did choose them he seemed to always let his feelings get in the way. As for you- you often found yourself across the bar from the Winchesters flirting it up with any man who bought you drinks. You weren't smart with it like Sam was, you weren't as carefree as Dean was, you were a load of trouble for anyone who took the bait.

You didn't mind being a let down to all of those men who looked at you like Dean looked at every girl. You loved seeing their faces when you turned them down. Even if it was simple. They would offer you a ride home, another drink, simple things like that and you knew when it was time to stop. You had a perfect method. Reeling them in, watching the lust in their eyes grow as you had simple conversations with them, and then cutting the line. You watched their lust grow into desperation, begging even, and it inflated your ego. But you knew. You knew that you could never give into just anyone. You weren't saving yourself for anyone special, and no one ever suspected that you were a virgin, but the truth is, you were just waiting for the right time. And it felt like it was never going to happen. You thought about lowering your walls, biting the bullet, then maybe you'd be able to do what Dean did. Your virginity wasn't sacred. You wanted to have meaningless sex with all of the men that you found attractive, you just could never bring yourself to do it. Plus, every time you were at the point where you thought maybe you could lose it, you would already be too deep in. You were cocky so it would be embarrassing for you to let them down like that. What if they didn't want you because you had no experience? Or worse? What if they only wanted you to ruin you, to take your virginity and run? You couldn't do it, no matter how badly you wanted to. You could do other things though. You would let their hands linger for too long on your thighs, let them kiss you, but you would never let them get far past that. You were scared. You hadn't done anything dirty other than flirting, touching, or kissing. You hadn't even let a man see you naked or seen a man naked.

You did the same with Dean. He was more cautious, of course, but he loved the chase nonetheless. You would work him up only to let him down, treating him like every other guy. You wouldn't let him kiss you or touch you like everyone else, you were scared that he'd treat you like every other girl. Or maybe that he'd make fun of your for being a virgin, but of course he didn't know that part. He just assumed that you weren't and so did Sam. He didn't understand, and maybe Sam didn't either but he definitely noticed. As for Sam, he didn't bother to try. He knew that you wouldn't give in to just anybody, but what he didn't know is that you had a weak spot for him. You were waiting for him to try anything and then you might actually give in. Sam saw that you didn't go home with anybody and he knew that within the few months that you had been hunting that you hadn't had any sex. And neither did he, but you knew that he wasn't a virgin. His alibi was Jess, a serious, committed, and long term relationship. As for you, you were a loner before you decided to hitch with the Winchesters. You never talked about your past, especially relationship wise because there just wasn't much to tell.

Things tonight were no different than any other night. Sam and Dean were sitting on the opposite side of the bar, drinking beer and watching pointless sports that they never paid attention to any other day. You had been on a hunt earlier, so going to the bar was a great wind down for all three of you. You took a shower, throwing on your most casual clothes. The black jeans hugged your curves perfectly and your loose, blue and satin camisole, more of a night shirt really, showed just enough cleavage to get anyone's attention. You covered yourself in a black jacket to help aide with the cold night and you did your makeup before you left. Then you found yourself in some hole-in-the-wall bar of Dean's choosing and found your next victim. A very handsome man, named Evan, that had light brown hair. He was fit, being a personal trainer was his career of choice, and you wondered if he were so healthy- then why was he at a bar? You didn't care much though, you weren't going to make it out of the doors with him so why did it matter. His blue eyes flickered at you and you could tell exactly what he wanted, and for the most part he was a jerk. But it was typical for you to find yourself with someone like him. Someone that only cared about himself and tended after his dick with random sluts. You didn't mind, you were going to rip him apart slowly by telling him no. As his ego deflated, yours would only grow and that was the point of the game.

"Can I get you another round?" The bartender asked and you shook your head 'no', sipping on your half-full drink of choice.

"She'll have another one," The personal trainer said and you rolled your eyes playfully, smirking at him. He flashed straight, white teeth back at you as the bartender went back to making you guys another round.

"So, what's your plan?" You raised an eyebrow at him and he looked at you with confusion- or at least that's how he tried to play it off.

"My plan?" He asked in return, chuckling lightly. You nodded your head, letting your eyes travel from his to his lips and back up- men seemed to love that, you had found through your several nights of training. "Take a pretty girl home with me."

"Guess you better find a pretty girl then. It's getting late," You smirked at him and he let out a cocky laugh.

"Already did," He replied simply and you shook your head at him. "You don't want me?" He asked playfully, resting his hand on your knee and snaking it up a few inches.

"Not really," You smiled cockily at him, but he didn't sense that you were actually being serious.

His hand continued to trail up your thigh and you let it until it rested lazily on your hip. You bit your lip and he watched carefully as he brought his face closer to yours until his lips landed on yours. You succeeded easily as you tasted the different alcohols swim around your mouth as his tongue easily dominated yours. His hand stayed steadily on your hip while his other hand reached up to grab your face, deepening the kiss. The human contact alone sent a wave through your core, but it wasn't unusual. You let a light moan escape your lips as you heard both of your mouths in sync and he smiled into the kiss.

"I haven't even touched you, babygirl," He said breathlessly into your mouth and you shut him up by taking control of the kiss. Your hands ran up his body, no doubt giving him chills along the way, and you ran your fingers through his soft hair. Your lips lapped over one another for a few seconds before you pulled back and he smiled at you. You smiled back, looking at your drink and downing it.

"I've got to go, Evan," You gave him a small smile and he slumped his face. You stood up from your chair, planning to leave him with something to think about, as you advanced towards him.

The front of your legs rested in the free space in between his as you towered over him and cupped his cheeks in between your small hands. His hands trailed up and down your body as you lowered your face on to his, bringing him into a deeper kiss than before. You pulled back before you could even begin to think about letting him take you home, patting his cheek lightly before turning around to grab your purse. You fished your wallet out of the small bag, leaving some cash to pay for your drinks and his on the bar counter top. You gave him a small smile when you turned around and began to head for the other end of the bar.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he lightly grabbed your wrist, making you turn back to face him. He stood up, this time towering over you and you lazily draped your hand on his chest.

"I told you. I have to go," You looked up at him, batting your eyes innocently as if you weren't just making out with him.

"Stay a while. I promise I can make you feel good," He said in a low voice, looking down into your eyes. His pupils were dilated with lust and you silently patted yourself on the back.

"I'm sure you can," You grinned and he smiled down back at you. "But I have to go," You smirked, watching his face fall flat. He let go of your wrist and you began making your way towards the Winchesters. You loved watching the look of seduction drained from his eyes as you walked away with your head held high. You reached where they were sitting at, taking a seat next to Dean and they both turned their heads towards you.

"Done for the night?" Dean asked you and you nodded your head. "Yeah, I'm still pretty tired from earlier," He agreed and Sam didn't say anything, he just looked back and forth between you and his brother. Dean looked past you at the man that you were flirting with and smirked, "Pretty fit. Sure you don't want to go home with him, sweetheart?"

"Maybe I want to go home with you," You smirked back and he laughed lowly. You looked to Sam and he didn't seemed bothered because at this point he was used to it. It was kind of disappointing though, some part of you wanted for him to be jealous.

"What do you say, Sammy? Ready to head out?" Dean asked, looking at his younger brother.

"Yeah, I guess," Sam muttered and Dean nodded his head. Normally, Sam would be itching to leave at this point.

He was the one who usually prompted for the night to end, but it was different. You noticed immediately that he wasn't in one of his normal- happy moods that he's usually in. Maybe he was upset, you thought to yourself. Dean paid out both of their tabs and the trio left, making their way back to the motel. It was a decent place for the price that it cost, so you were able to pull some strings and get your own room. Normally, Dean and Sam would insist that you save your money by staying with them but you paid for it behind their back.

"I'm not really tired," Sam said, sighing and putting his book bag on the floor. You watched him carefully, knowing that he was in a bad mood. "I'm going to stay up and read a little."

"Hope you can read in the dark 'cause I'm determined to get some actual sleep tonight," Dean said, plopping down onto his queen bed and you smiled at him.

"I'll see you guys in the morning?" You asked, and Dean hummed in approval while Sam shrugged his shoulders.

You gave him a small frown and found yourself out of their room, walking to yours next door. You stripped yourself of your bar clothes, keeping your shirt on and opting for some simple, black shorts and you lied in your bed, overanalyzing Sam's mood. It didn't feel good to be around him when he was upset because a part of you would get upset too. It was no different with Dean for the most part, but tonight it was extra unbearable. You could tell he was frustrated with something, whether it was the hunt or himself you couldn't tell. Sleep wasn't going to come easy for you and you knew that. Instead of fighting your wide-awake brain, you decided to feed it by reading some cheesy novel you picked up at a random coffee shop.

•••

It was an hour before you heard a knock on your door. You got up, cautiously looking through the peep hole before opening the door to see Sam standing there.

"I knew you'd be awake," He gave you a small smile before entering your room and you closed the door behind him. He walked a short distance before seating himself on your bed and you walked to the other side, crawling back to your cozy spot. You picked your book back up and began to skim the chapter, before Sam broke your concentration, "Why'd you get your own room if you weren't going to bring anyone home?" He asked, turning his body to look at you.

You frowned at his question, not exactly sure how to respond. "Oh, I don't know. I guess I just wanted some space of my own," You replied and his face stayed straight.

"I mean, this is your one chance, Y/N. You could have brought that douchebag here," He said and you felt guilty for loving the words that came out of his mouth.

"Are you upset because I didn't bring a guy home?" You asked, a small smirk plastered on your face.

"No," He scoffed immediately and you grinned widely at him. "It's just, if I had my own room I would bring someone along."

"No you wouldn't," You smiled and he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," He muttered, still seemingly frustrated like he was earlier.

"Why are you upset, Sammy? Did you need the room to relieve some tension?" You asked jokingly but he didn't seem to find it funny.

"Don't talk like that," He said in a low voice and his eyes diverted to looking at the bed.

"Don't talk like what?" You asked innocently and he looked back up at you, an all too familiar look in his eyes.

"I'm not doing the flirty thing," He said bluntly and you frowned to yourself.

"I forget you're not Dean sometimes," You rolled your eyes, a little annoyed that Sam was being so negative.

"Okay," He huffed out, also seemingly annoyed with you.

"Okay," You nodded your head, reaching down and picking your book up again. Your fingers ran through the pages to your bookmark but when your eyes scanned down to read, you knew Sam was upset and you couldn't ignore him. "Sam, seriously. What's wrong?"

"Don't act like you care," He replied, his voice almost low enough to be a growl. You set the book on the nightstand and crossed your hands in your lap.

"Of course I care," You said to him and he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't like seeing you upset." You said in a small voice and he continued to stare at you.

"Whatever, Y/N," He huffed out and you frowned at his reaction.

"I'm being serious, Sam. If you need the room I'll just go sleep in the other one. You're having, um, problems and I don't know how to help." You tried to compromise, but the tension that radiated from him only seemed to grow.

"Problems?" He asked again with a frown on his face.

"Yeah, ultra aggressive Sam is not the Sam I like to be around," You shrugged your shoulders, deciding to tell the truth.

"I'm not trying to be that way. I'm just tired," He said, no apology following after.

"It's fine. I'm tired too and I don't want to argue, you know?" You asked, hoping to find a common ground.

"Yep, got it," He replied and the room went silent. Your eyes peered down again, trying to find where you left off, and you began to read. "You really didn't like him?" He asked not even ten seconds later. You raised your eyebrow at him and he shrugged his shoulders, seemingly carefree, but you knew that he was more than upset if he brought it up twice.

"He was alright, I guess," You said in a sigh, placing your book down once again.

"I mean, he was your type, so why not?" He asked, curiosity flooding his eyes.

"Sammy, why do you care so much?" You asked with a small smile and he slumped his face.

"I don't," He answered nonchalantly, liar.

"Obviously you do. You jealous I can pull and you can't? Maybe Dean can help you find someone." You offered for Dean, there was no way you were helping him yourself- you were far too jealous and you would get in the way.

"Why don't you help me instead?" He asked in a low voice, it almost seemed like more of a demand than a question.

"What?" You asked in return, feeling your cheeks heat up.

"You heard me," He muttered, his eyes staring back into yours, and it left you speechless.

"No, they're called wingmen for a reason," You frowned, trying your best not to blow your cover.

"That's not what I meant, Y/N," He said, turning his body fully towards you. "I mean, only if you want to." The tension snapped and was replaced with a new tension, sexual tension from Sam. You didn't reply, you just sat there shocked, so he continued to ramble, "It's gotta be frustrating not getting to come home with anybody and I just figured that maybe you could help me and I could help you and-" His words trailed off as you tried to wrap your mind around it. The entire conversation was like a fantasy to you, but you never thought it would actually become reality.

You looked down, not exactly sure how to respond. You dreamt of the day where this might happen, but you didn't actually prepare yourself for it. You felt the bed dip closer to where you were sat and you looked up when you saw Sam's hands pressed into the bed just beside either of your legs. Your eyes landed on his and you felt your heart beating through your chest. His eyes were needy and lustful and you probably looked like a scared doe as his lips collided with yours.

"You okay with this?" He asked reassuringly. Still, no words came out, but a nod up and down confirmed his answer.

His lips were soft and forceful as they raced with yours, like he was deprived of touch. It was aggressive and you hadn't ever felt that from Sam in this way before, but you didn't mind. You whimpered slightly when his teeth tugged on your bottom lip and he let out a devilish laugh as soon as he heard it. He tugged at the bottom of your shirt, lifting it up and you let him. You heard your shirt hit the floor as his lips began to attack yours again. His hand ran along your thigh and your abdomen and then it landed softly on your breast. It wasn't soft for long as he gave it a harsh squeeze before reaching behind you to undo your bra. The straps dangled on your arms and he quickly got rid of the left over fabric on your top half. He looked down for a split second, hungry like he's never done anything like this before, and then looked back at you as he began to attack your neck. His tongue lapped around certain spots, sucking harshly, as his mouth trailed all the way down to the middle of your chest. He held one of your breasts in his hand, tweaking the nipple in a satisfying way and an uncontrollable moan left your mouth. He didn't seem to care, and if he did it was even more motivated as he placed the other one between his lips. Your hand lazily ran its fingers through his hair, pushing slightly, so that he could give you the pleasure of sucking a little harder.

The pleasure faded quickly as your doubt came running across your mind. You couldn't help but think that Sam was treating you like everyone else did that you flirted with. He was needy, just like them, and he only seemed to care about himself. Panic set in as he continued to pamper your breasts and you shifted uncomfortably, whining slightly. "Wait, Sam," You said and he looked up to you, his eyes not shifting from their lustful state.

He gave you a small smirk before resting his forehead on yours, "What? You don't want me to treat you like the slut that you are?" He asked cockily and once again, you didn't know how to respond. He dove in for another kiss and you let your lips part for a second before closing them shut. Sam noticed immediately as he pulled back and looked into your eyes. The look in his began to transform into concern and he looked confused. "What's wrong?" He asked in a quiet voice, letting his hand rest on your cheek.

"I'm a virgin," You blurted out, not knowing how to put it any other way. You shut your eyes closed, scared for his reaction. Maybe he'd be how you thought Dean would react- maybe he would make fun of you for it.

"Is this some sort of role play?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows and smiling in disbelief. The look in his eyes returned as he leaned closer to your ear, "You trying to turn me on more, Y/N?" He whispered and it sent shivers down your spine. "I'm already hard enough, baby," He whispered, grabbing your hand. As soon as he placed it on his confined no doubt hard-on, you pulled your hand back. He looked at you with confusion and you stayed silent as his eyes peered into yours. "You're being serious?" He asked, realization flowing through his words. You nodded your head and his face turned pale. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I-I didn't know. I just figured 'cause-"

"It's okay, Sam," You said in a small voice, cutting him off because you didn't want him to explain further. His face backed off a little bit from yours, but he stayed hovered over you not really knowing what to do with himself.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have came onto you like that. I don't know what's gotten into me." Sam admitted, looking down.

"It's okay, Sam," You said, using your hand to lift his chin up to look at you. His lost expression intoxicated your mind as you leaned forward to kiss him, this time much softer than before.

"Are you sure?" He asked, pulling back and you gave him a small smile. "I don't want to take it away from you if you don't want me to."

"Sammy, I'm sure. I've been waiting for you to get jealous," You let out a small laugh and it was met with laughter of his own.

"Well, it worked Y/N," He smiled before placing his lips on yours. His lips were less hungry this time, less selfish, and you felt your worries melt away under his touch. He pulled back gently, leaving you wanting more, "Are you really sure?" He asked carefully and you nodded your head eagerly. "We'll take it slow, okay?" He asked and you continued to nod your head. Your hands reached out boldly, pulling his shirt up to reveal his toned abs. He smiled at you and began to help, pulling the shirt off and throwing it on the ground. "Can I?" He asked, holding the bottom of your shorts in between his thumb and index finger.

"Yes," You replied quietly and lifted your hips as he pulled the thin fabric, excruciatingly slow, down your legs. That too was thrown on the floor. He held onto your hips, looking down and admiring your body, and a blush rose onto your face. "Your turn," You said and his eyes snapped back to yours as you bit your lip nervously.

"Want to help?" He asked, sitting up on his knees.

"Uh, I-I don't know," You stammered, not exactly sure of what even to do. Well, you were sure, but you were worried that you would do it wrong. He smiled down at you and you immediately felt eased. You changed positions so that you were sat on your knees as your shaking fingers rose up to his jean button. He ran his fingers through your hair in approval and you undid the button, using your fingers to pull the zipper down. His hands reached down to help you as he pushed his jeans down his hips, kicking them off. Now, it was just you and Sam in your respective underwear.

He sat down next to you, back against the headboard and you looked at him, unsure of what the hell you were doing. "Come here," He said, motioning for you to straddle his hips and you nodded your head. You placed your knee on the other side of his body and slowly lowered yourself. A whimper escaped your lips as your clothed heat landed on his clothed erection. He smiled at you, pulling you into a kiss as he sensed your nervousness. You melted onto him, easing down as much as you could, and the both of you took your time. He kissed you tenderly, holding your face with his hands and you gripped onto his biceps. It was sweet and your lips moved perfectly in sync with one another before your core ached for movement. You moved your hips slowly, not sure of what you were doing but you figured it was good because Sam groaned into your mouth.

His hands trailed up your thigh before slowly dipping his fingers past your underwear. You moaned as his fingers smoothed back and forth between your lips, collecting the wetness that was gained over the past ten minutes. "You're so wet for me, princess," He pointed out the obvious and you blushed, gasping as his middle finger easily slid inside of you. "Does it hurt?" He asked, pulling back from the kiss and you shook your head 'no'. "How about now?" He asked, a hint of cockiness in his voice, as he slides his index finger in. You jumped a little bit at the new sensation, putting a smile on Sam's face, but it didn't hurt. You had put your own fingers in there before, not really thinking much of it, but Sam's were much larger- thicker and longer- so it was a different feeling. You moaned as he began to move his fingers in and out, curling slightly as he reached as far as he could. You had always heard that there was a g-spot in there somewhere but you never really found it before. Sam easily hit your sweet spot and you never knew how good it felt or else you would have done it yourself. His thumb reached up and began to rub your clit in circular motions. You tried your best to suppress your moans by crashing your lips onto his and he smiled, fully aware of the control he had over you.

Your breath was shaky as you felt the familiar pressure in your core begin to build. He pulled his head back, resting on the headboard, and he stared into your eyes as his fingers unrelentlessly attacked you. You placed your hands on his broad shoulders, barely able to contain yourself as you looked down. "Sam," You whimpered out and he used his other hand to tilt your head back up.

"Look at me, Y/N. I want to watch you when I make you cum," He said in a low and demanding voice and you had no choice but to nod your head eagerly. You looked into his eyes, trying your best to fight the feeling that Sam was giving to you, and he smiled at you. You didn't know why you were trying to fight it, but you were. His mouth parted slowly, licking his lips, as he watched your body began to shudder under his touch. You let out small moans of pleasure, still trying to fight, and Sam began to pick up his pace. You rested your forehead on his, your breath shaky, as you began to moan uncontrollably around his fingers. The feeling began to intensify and soon enough you found yourself cumming around his fingers, trying your best to be as quiet as possible. Sam hummed in approval, but he didn't stop. He kept going until you gripped onto his shoulders hard enough, whining, and then he pulled them out. "You're so beautiful Y/N," He whispered and you tried your best to control your breathing.

His hands rested on your hips before pulling the fabric down your thighs. You helped him and threw them to the side as your hands landed on his chest. He looked down at your soaking wet centre and eagerly reached in his underwear. You looked down with him as the fabric began to slowly leave down his thighs, watching as his member sprang up happily, slapping his abdomen. You gulped down, wondering how the hell that thing was supposed to fit inside of you, and you heard him laugh lightly. Your hand that rested against his chest was being moved by his as he placed it on his length. It was softer than you imagined and he groaned as you grasped onto it. You curiously swiped your thumb over the tip of it, collecting precum that had escaped, and he let out a low moan. "I don't know what I'm doing," You admitted, looking up at him with embarrassment.

"You're doing just fine, baby," He said, the confirmation making you ease immediately. He tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling you into a kiss, and rested his hand on the small of your back. You let go of his member and before you knew it, he was on top of you. "Are you ready, Y/N?" He asked and you held onto his face, nodding your head and biting your lip. He reached above you, grabbing a pillow, and motioned for you to lift your hips. Placing the pillow at the bottom of your back, you relaxed down and raised an eyebrow. "It will feel better, trust me," He smiled, pecking your lips and you nodded your head. He looked down, grabbing his length in his hand, not needing to pump it because he was so eager, and he placed it in your folds.

Sam looked back up at you and planted his lips on to yours. You gasped as he slid inside of you slowly. The burn was nothing that you've ever felt before and it was painful, but you knew that it was going to be. He was taking his time, giving you time to adjust to every inch of him, and it felt like you were being stretched open. Your body wanted so badly to reject him and push him out, but you weren't going to give in or back off. He stopped for a second and looked down at you, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. "Are you all the way in yet?" You asked in a breathless voice, your eyes wide.

"Only halfway, sweetheart," He grunted, scrunching his face, and gave you a sympathetic smile as you nodded your head. You figured he was already fully inside because you could feel him intruding into your stomach, but you guessed you were wrong. He was nervous about hurting you and he wasn't exactly sure what to do, so he figured it was like ripping a bandaid off. Sam slid all the way into you at a much faster, but not too harsh, pace until you felt his skin on your clit. You whimpered and his body shuddered as he reached as deep as he could. He gasped for air, feeling how tight you were around him, and sat like that so that you could adjust. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking down at you.

"Move," You forced out and he looked down into your eyes cautiously. "Please, Sam," You whimpered and he nodded his head, slowly pulling himself out. He left the tip in and began to slide back into you, the burning feeling returning. He groaned loudly and you bit your lip to coerce your cries from leaving your lips.

"You're so fucking perfect, Y/N," He said, kissing you, as he began to move in and out of you at a slow pace. You tried your best to focus on the pleasure, feeling him hit your g-spot every time he thrusted, and soon enough the pain began to fade away. His hand snaked down your body, letting goose bumps rise, and his thumb landed on your clit as he began to move it methodically.

"Fuck, Sam," You moaned into his mouth and he hummed in return. He began to move a little faster and you began to feel less and less pain. He groaned into your mouth as you felt the infamous pressure in your core and you knew you weren't going to last much longer. The stimulation from his fingers and hitting your g-spot every other second was a lethal combination. Strings of moans and Sam's name escaped your mouth as the pressure became unbearable.

"Cum for me, Y/N," He pulled back from the kiss. You wanted desperately to force his lips onto yours again, but you knew that he would want to watch you come undone around him. You nodded your head and the smell of sex wafted into your nose as you began to moan uncontrollably. Sam looked so good above you, even the vein that popped out in his forehead, it made your orgasm come much faster than you expected. You felt the familiar snap inside of you and your legs began to shake as you moaned Sam's name loudly.

Just like earlier, he didn't stop, he kept going and he rode out your high as you felt yourself clench tightly around him. He brought his hand up from your clit and rested his weight on his elbows, burying his head in the crook of your neck. His movements became sloppy and erratic, but he didn't go faster to the point where it felt uncomfortable. He moaned your name as he pulled out one last time, slamming back into you, and you felt his dick twitch inside of you. Sam stayed inside of you as his lips went back to attacking yours in a soft, slow, and passionate kiss. The sweat on his forehead made his skin glisten and you smiled into the kiss, thinking about how perfect Sam was.

"Thank you," You whispered into his mouth and he smiled in return.

"Anytime, Y/N," He said, pulling his face up. He reached down and you felt him leave your core, making you feel almost empty. You both were dirty, sweating messes, but you didn't care. He lied down next to you, pulling the covers over him and you. You rested your cheek on his bicep and cuddled up close to him, your leg lazily draped over his. Sam stayed there the entire night and sleep came easily for the both of you.