#-with the exception of the bolded sentence which is supposed to have different meanings depending on whose perspective-

[becauseplot]

i feel i should preface this with saying that this relationship analysis "takes place" before qcellbit's emotional exhaustion and motivation crash---

---but i have been having SUCH crazy thoughts abt the archivists (qcellbit n qphilza). guy who needs evidence of Everything 🤝 guy who takes pictures of and hoards Everything. two-cars-passing-each-other meme whenever cellbit (practically nocturnal at this point) makes a late-night run to the Ordo to grab some notes he left there and bumps into phil (trouble sleeping ever since the birdhouse incident) who's sitting in one of the evidence rooms organizing a new backpack of photos to hand over to cellbit.

"oh. hey phil." "hi mate."

their conversations and interactions center mostly around cellbit's investigations---the ones cellbit lets the public know about, anyway---and whatever new info phil managed to scoop up since the last time they saw each other. theories are exchanged, and photos are passed between them as easily as pleasantries. "how're you doing?" "oh, doin' alright, doin' alright. you?" "eh. busy, you know?"

they don't talk about much else.

see, they both understand secrets. intimately. things you did you would much rather leave behind you, if you can, or thoughts, worries, doubts you would much rather keep to yourself for fear of speaking them into existence. sealed lips; a tight lid. they look at each other and know they're only seeing what the other wants them to see, but that's okay. they get it. sometimes, it's just easier to focus on what is directly in front of you. what you can see, what you can touch; what you know is true, what you know is real.

what you can do.

so cellbit generates and bounces his theories off of phil, and phil is more than happy to be a sounding board. phil fills up a backpack with photographs, and cellbit is more than happy to take it off his hands. they focus on The Work, on the spiderweb of red string and loose ends and grainy pictures and scrawled notes pinned to the wall, madness-incarnate sprawled out before them. they trust each other's judgement, and they trust each other's skills, and they trust each other, and neither asks too many questions. they both appreciate it.

[bouwrites]

Fire Emblem: Nationality Adjectives

Okay, okay, so, I really should have done this before getting 50 chapters into a massive 3H fic, but instead I just did what felt right and struggled around ever using an adjective for Brigid people/things because, uh... I couldn’t figure it out. Hence doing the work now.

Anyway, quick preamble for clarity’s sake, nationality adjectives are just the adjectives used to refer to something or someone from a certain place. Id est, French is to France, Japanese is to Japan, or even more broadly, European is to Europe.

For use in fanfic, I’m attempting, mostly by looking at official real-world nationality adjectives (in my language, ofc) to figure out the correct* form the adjective (and noun!) would take for regions within the world of Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

*By correct, I mean the options that don’t sound horrible.

Please add your two cents, if you have any. Please. I’m actually begging. Anyway, under the read more because idk how long this is going to get.

Let’s start with the obvious. Some are canon within the game’s world, and thus whether real-world conventions apply or not doesn’t matter. So here’s the small list of Location : Adjective : Noun* in canon that I can come up with off the top of my head.

*A missing noun denotes that the noun is the same as the adjective.

Note: When I say “in canon” I mean it’s used to refer to at least one of the adjective/noun. With one exception, I don’t believe many will argue that they make sense as both, so I simply treat them as both. (Mostly because I can’t be bothered to comb through the entire game’s script picking out where what is used as nouns or adjectives.)

Abyss : Abyssian Adrestia : Adrestian Agartha : Agarthan Almyra : Almyran Dagda : Dagdan (also the name of their language) Duscur : ??? : Duscur Nabatea : Nabatean

Duscur, the only “non-standard” one, can also probably be used as the adjective, but all canon instances I managed to find in Dedue’s support logs were used as the noun. I would be happy to use Duscur as an adjective, and thus won’t explore it here, but I’m fully ready to accept arguments against it.

In a similar vein, but not quite as versatile as proper nationality adjectives, both the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and the Leicester Alliance, to my memory, exclusively use “Kingdom” and “Alliance” in sentences where the possessive is necessary. (i.e. Fhirdiad, the Kingdom capital)

Now, let’s try to make some proper adjectives for both Faerghus and Leicester, as well as Brigid, Albinea, Morfis, Sreng, and Fódlan.

Note: If any of those locations have canon adjectives/nouns, please let me know! Also if I’m missing any locations.

(I know small-scale locations like cities/territories within each state also don’t have adjectives, but no one canonically seems to be very patriotic on that scale and identify with the broader term instead, so I’m not concerned with those. Feel free to add them if you want, though!)

The only super obvious one is Albinea : Albinean, and I’m pretty confident that no one will contest that even without diving in to real-world examples to compare what form the adjective should take.

From there, we’ll start with the most relevant and go outwards. Starting with Fódlan.

Note: I’m using this resource for the right adjectives/nouns for nationalities, so if I make a sweeping statement like “no country” or something of the like, what I’m referring to is specifically what is contained within that list.

Fódlan:

In-game, Dedue actually says, ��...because I was unfamiliar with Fódlan speech.” Which surprisingly doesn’t tell us the name of Fódlan’s language, but rather says that “Fódlan” is the (or a) canon adjective.

That gives us Fódlan : Fódlan : ??? (Fódlan? In the same form as Duscur, perhaps.)

That said, I just... don’t really prefer it. So I’m looking for alternatives. My preferred form? Iceland. Iceland : Icelandic : Icelander, giving us Fódlan : Fódlandic : Fódlander. Now, Fódlan obviously doesn’t end with a “-d” but also, while many countries/regions end with “-an” none end with “-lan” and I, personally, just like the sound of Fódlander, even as the adjective. In fact, within my own in-progress fic right now, I currently have it as simply Fódlan : Fódlander, with no difference between the adj. and noun.

Looking at examples with “-an” endings to their region, we have Iran : Iranian, Japan : Japanese, or Pakistan : Pakistani to give us either Fódlanian, Fódlanese, or Fódlani. I’ve seen the latter two in fics before, but of the set prefer Fódlani myself.

And just for fun, most “-land” regions actually don’t use the “-lander” ending. Iceland is special that way, presumably because they didn’t want to call themselves Ices. Instead, it’s in the form of Poland : Polish : Pole, which, if we apply to Fódlan, would give us Fódlan : Fódlish : Fód which I would never dream of actually using, but does make me laugh.

Conclusion: This section is just my personal best options, in no particular order, laid out in a less cluttered format.

Fódlan : Fódlani Fódlan : Fódlandic : Fódlander Fódlan : Fódlander (No real-world basis, I just like it this way.)

Faerghus:

To my knowledge, the only countries that end in “-s” at all are Belarus and Honduras, so let’s just use those, and throw in Paris for fun. This will be shorter because we just don’t have much to work with, and I think the “best” form is a lot easier to agree on, anyway.

So, first option, Belarus : Belarusian which gives us Faerghus : Farghusian. Which works. There’s nothing wrong with it. But I’m not a big fan just because I prefer the next option so much more.

Interestingly, this is one I’ve seen in fanfic before, so it’s something currently in use by the community, at least to some extent. That is, Honduras : Honduran giving us Faerghus : Faerghan. Something about Faerghan just sounds right to my (American) ear, and again, I’ve seen it used in fanfic before. Honestly, it sounds so right that I’m not entirely convinced it’s not actual canon, but I also can’t recall it actually being used in canon, so... eh.

Conclusion: Just use Faerghus : Faerghan, it’s not that hard a conclusion to reach tbh. Unless you just like something else, I guess.

Leicester:

This is a problem for the simple fact that while there is an actual county in Britain called Leicestershire (and one called Gloucestershire), unless the British are a lot different from us Americans and they aren’t putting this information online, no one actually identifies anything by county.

Combined with the fact that the only countries that end in “-r” are Equador, El Salvador, and Madagascar, and I’m pretty sure any accurate comparison would need at least the “-ter” ending, this is going to be mostly just making up what feels right to me.

But for science, let’s go ahead and use those three for their conventions anyway, shall we?

Equador : Equadorian would give us Leicester : Leicesterian. Then we have El Salvador : Salvadoran to give us the slightly sillier Leicesteran. (I cannot not hear Listerine, lol.)

Alternatively, and this is a bold move, we could use Madagascar : Madagasy, which I frankly do not even know how to translate to Leicester because that form just doesn’t work with anything lacking the “-scar” ending, and I’m trying to compare them based on the “-r” alone. Still, I suppose with some finagling we can come to Leicester : Leicesy, or somewhat more sensibly Leicesty which is... surprisingly not horrible, but a zesty choice nonetheless.

On a more serious note, I’ve been using Leicester : Leicester : Leicesterman/woman because it’s just about the only thing I’ve thought of that doesn’t sound remarkably silly.

Conclusion: Use Leicester : Leicester : Leicesterman/woman.

(Or, if you want to meme the Golden Deer, Leicester : Leicesty. I am not recommending this.)

Brigid:

Ah, the reason I’m doing this work in the first place. I really should have done this before the Brigid arc in my fic but alas, here we are, doing this while I’m literally on the last chapter of it.

Anyway, since this list I have of real-world nationalities only has a single country ending in “-d” that doesn’t end in “-land” we’re going to just have to work with what we have.

The one example I have to work with? Chad. That gives us Chad : Chadian applied to Brigid is Brigid : Brigidian.

Which feels like something I’ve seen in fic before, but I can’t say with certainty. Now that I’m looking at that in the face, though, I want to posit for review the alternative Brigid : Brigidan, mostly just because that “-idi-” feels weird to me.

(Now I feel kind of silly. It’s really quite simple, isn’t it? I spent so long trying to figure this one out, positive that I’d find a better option, but... nah. Brigidan works, I think. Ironically, when I was looking through earlier chapters in my draft, I noticed that I had actually already used Brigidan in my story, despite me going so far out of my way to avoid using an adjective at all in my Brigid arc because I straight up forgot. F me, I guess.)

Conclusion: Use Brigid : Brigidan or Brigid : Brigidian, depending on your feelings about the letter I.

Sreng:

Another odd one, because there’s no good comparison, even in the vaguest sense. So, instead of doing comparisons to real places this time, I’m just going to throw a few of the common endings at it and see what sticks.

Sreng : Srengan/Srengian - Gives me fantasy name vibes, which I guess it is, but not location name vibes, and certainly not location adjective vibes, if that makes any sort of sense.

Sreng : Srengish : Sren??? - This is clearly reaching. And no, I will not even entertain Sren(g)man/woman.

Sreng : Srengi - I feel like I’ve seen this in fic before but cannot say for sure. Point being, though, it feels like something that reasonable people would say with their mouths, so it gets a full 5 stars from me.

Conclusion: Sreng : Srengi is the only viable option. Fight me.

Morfis:

Because Morfis doesn’t appear in my own fic, I have given this zero thought ahead of time. Also, I was 100% convinced - like, turned on my Switch and checked the actual game to be sure - that Morfis was spelled Morphis. Nope, it’s an f. Anyway, let’s gooo!

I guess the logical starting point would be the same place we went with Faerghus, with either Morfis : Morfisian or Morfis : Morfan but unlike Faerghus, Morfis actually already has that “I” there, so I think the alternative Morfian sounds a bit better.

Plus, Professor Byleth has already fished up half the pond’s population. We don’t need more fin.

Conclusion: Fish are friends. Morfis : Morfian

[pepperminthotchocolate]

*Voice Like An Echo: Chapter 2

The man’s head snapped up as he heard the wooden door behind him creak open. “Ah, Mr. Sperski! It’s wonderful to finally meet with you.” The speaker was a petite, older woman with piercing blue eyes. Her wispy grey hair was tied back in a ponytail with a few loose strands falling out, and she had spots of acrylic paint on her jeans. “I saw you come in earlier. Forgive me, I just finished running Arts and Crafts time with the early level group.”

“You must be Suzanne Carre. Please, call me David.” He answered, firmly shaking her hand as she settled down in the seat across from him.

“I’ll just need to look over your file quickly to make sure everything’s set.” Her glasses slid down her nose a bit as she examined the forms for a final time. She knew everything was fine on paper; she’d pored over it for an hour and a half the night before. With this particular case, it was a must.

She smiled warmly, sliding the manila folder to the corner of her desk. “Well then, good news! It looks like everything is set for you to take Naiya home today. Your disease screening came back clear, as did your background checks and I see that you took care of the necessary home safety inspections before you came in to meet the residents, which is wonderful. I’ll just need you to sign off on a few things before I can send you on your way.”

“All of the residents at Whitsett-Sedalia receive their inoculations upon first entry into the shelter and are updated every year. Most of them are one-time only immunizations, but she will need to be brought back in about seven months for step two of her TRA shot. Well, you can either bring her here or to your chosen parvologist, but we’ll offer you a discounted rate.” She pulled a pale blue piece of paper with the bold words “Inoculation Agreement” and the shelter’s letterhead emblazoned across the top. She pointed to the two blank spaces near the middle, and the man quickly scrawled his signature. “This page says that you understand the risks of leaving a tiny without their immunizations and that if you have any questions you’ll contact the shelter or a licensed care provider.”  

“Our residents are also crate-trained from the moment they enter the shelter. She’ll be transported in a temporary enclosure, which we recommend that you do NOT open the crate at all until you get home.  That being said, it’s a toss-up for what you want to do with the enclosure after you get there. Some of our residents prefer the independence of getting to roam around their new home. It depends on your preference, their preference, whether or not you have animals around…” She trailed off.

“Nope, no animals, unless you count my son. He shouldn’t give her too much trouble, though.” He chuckled to himself. “So I suppose I should just, you know, ask her if that’s where she wants to live? Because I have something set up at home if she changes her mind.”

“We find that it’s good to give them the option. Although, to be honest, you’ll find that many of our residents prefer to live in the crate at first. If you’ll pardon the pun, it’s a big adjustment trying to acclimate to a world outside of such a small space. They need a place to retreat to, somewhere they can call their own that’s their own size. Like I said, it’s up to her.”

She handed over a folder similar to the manila one she had been rifling through a few minutes ago, except this one only had two items in it; a thick, official looking packet of medical forms stapled together, and a thinner one with many sheets of different colored sheets of paper that were only paper-clipped together. He started to examine the papers carefully, only to pause when he saw a green form being slid toward him.

“I’ve included a copy of our general “Shelter-Home Acclimation” tips along with Tanaiya’s care plan. Her location chip, carrying container and care plan materials were all included in the adoption fee, but I need you to sign off saying that you understand that we support non-escalatory corrective behavior strategies and expect you and all members of your household to follow suit.”

His pen hovered over the new page for a moment. “What exactly do you mean by that, non-escalatory?” David asked, uneasy. He was pretty sure he knew what she was getting at, but he was taken aback at the wording.

“There are three categories of behavior modification when it comes to tinies – hands-on manipulation, intuitive intimidation tactics, or non-escalatory strategies. Back a few decades or so, the first two categories were the prescribed treatment for bad behaviors. In general, humans found that putting their hands on tinies or even something as simple as overwhelming them with their presence was effective enough to “correct” their behavior. Thankfully, we’ve learned that not only do these approaches not work, but they have an extremely negative effect on their reactions to humans and their outlook of the world around them. With the passing of the Tiny Rights Act of 1989, use of hands-on manipulation and intuitive intimidation are grounds for an abuse charge to the person responsible for the care of that tiny. What strategies fall into each category can be found on a separate yellow page in your folder.”

Suzanne slid her glasses off of the bridge of her nose, cleaning the lenses on the hem of her blouse. She turned her piercing eyes up to the sloped-shouldered man sitting across from her, as if she were trying to detect any malice within him. “In short, Mr. Sperski, we support talking to your tiny, solving the problem together and treating them just as you would any other human being.”

David just shook his head, signing his name on the dotted line below the block of text. “You’d think that would be the standard anyway. At least we’ve come a little bit farther.”

She nodded slowly, tapping the papers on the edge of the desk and sliding them back into his file. “Which is actually the perfect segue for Tanaiya’s care plan. I need to go over a few things before you actually take her home. I know I just threw a lot at you, are you still with me?”

His head was swimming with the newfound information, but he nodded, pushing his own frames up onto his nose.  

She sighed quietly through her nose before flipping to a new page in the file. “Typically our residents are ready to go home with just the page of basic care tips. However, for residents who require special care, we include what is called an Individual Care Action Plan, or ICAP for short. In order to provide this information to a new owner we’re required by law to disclose the tiny’s history prior to adoption. This one’s a doozy with the signatures.” After a minute of pointing out signature and initials slots, she pulled the paper away and began to read from it.

“Tanaiya Moore was removed from her home residence located in Meyer’s Crossing approximately ten years ago. She was six years old at the time, and was living with her previous owner whose anonymity is protected under the law, and her biological mother, Dorothy Moore. After following up with an abuse allegation made from an anonymous source, the county determined that both she and her mother had suffered severe abuse under his care. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but…” She hesitantly slid a faded picture across the desk to him.

His heart broke at the sight. A young, skinny girl with frizzy hair and one sparkling brown eye stared harshly back at him. Her other eye was swollen shut and a medley of red and purple bruises mottled the beautiful, walnut-brown skin of her face. The right side of her face had actually split open from the swelling. “Their previous owner was charged with egregious abuse and neglect coupled with operating under an expired ownership license. He was sentenced to up to twenty-five years in prison with no bail. Tanaiya was also separated from her mother due to allegations that she was no longer physically able to care for her child.”

“After Tanaiya’s recovery and mediation, she was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and a mild communicative disorder related to her abuse history. She couldn’t speak more than two word phrases to most humans, although certain staff members could get her to say more. Following her rehabilitation, she was adopted from the Whitsett-Sedalia Tiny Shelter for the first time about three years after her induction. However, she was recovered once again two months later after we found neglect had followed at that home as well.”

He gave the woman an incredulous stare. The look on her face made it clear that it was a painful subject for her, even after all these years.

“This was before many of the laws and standards for tiny care had been put in place. We didn’t do quite as many home visits or screenings as we do now. A set of parents had adopted Tanaiya as a companion for their teenage son, but he grew bored of her when he realized that she wouldn’t talk to him.” She placed the paper down and rapped her knuckles against the top of the desk. “She’d been living in a hamster cage in the corner of his room. Water bottle and food pellets included. By the time they returned her to us she wouldn’t communicate to anyone over six inches tall. That’s where we find ourselves today, Mr. Sperski.”

This struck a chord with him, and he finally found his own voice. “Does she…so she can’t speak at all?”

“Selective Mutism. It’s pretty common with severe abuse cases. Staff has never heard her talk beyond a word or two, but some of the residents can get her to say more. Like Libby, the girl who shares her enclosure. I don’t know how she manages to get her to talk as she isn’t the most…ah, warm person. As I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

A small smile grazed his lips for a moment. He had indeed noticed; when he passed by the enclosure yesterday he could see her sketching quietly in her notebook with her back turned to him. He must’ve alerted her to his presence, because she immediately gave him a bored look over her shoulder. It was a bit difficult to see with his failing eyesight, but he could make out some of the minute details of the portrait. She glared up at him for all of five seconds before muttering something under her breath, flipping him the bird and returning to her sketchpad – a stark contrast from her roommate sitting in the corner, peering up at him cautiously from behind her book.

It was actually the book that had convinced him. She reminded him of himself in a way; quiet. Calm. More than a bit anxious, if he had to admit it. But now, this hidden history? He wasn’t sure if he would be able to provide her with the support and care that she needed.

The woman sitting in front of him must have read his mind, as they had both gone quiet. She sat forward in her chair and clasped her hands in front of her. “I’m not telling you all this to scare you off. On the contrary… can I be frank with you, Mr. Sperski?”

“I’m not sure – I feel like I’m about to sign my life away.” He admitted, trying to make the conversation a bit lighter. Suzanne cracked a smile, although the air was still tense.

“You’re what we call a “contrasting candidate”. You’re an older man. Your voice is deep. You’re not incredibly tall or imposing, but you are compared to some of the staff that work here. All things that our little ones can easily find intimidating, even those without the extensive history that Tanaiya has. I wasn’t there to interview you yesterday or process your information, but as director I am the one to review your answers and determine whether or not you’d be suited to adopt. We wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation if I didn’t think you were a good match for her. Even after you heard yesterday that she had a history, even if you didn’t know what it entailed, you simply stated that you wanted to give her a home.”

David scratched a bit at the beard on his chin. He hadn’t even considered that he had to be reviewed. He tried to remember exactly what answers he had given during his impromptu interview, but his mind was coming up blank. He turned his attention back to Suzanne. The steely determination had returned to her eyes.

“Care techniques and interventions can be learned. The one thing that she needs that doesn’t necessarily come standard with adoption is someone safe. Someone who is willing to go the extra mile to ensure that she can have a good home despite her history. However, it is most certainly not going to happen overnight. If you don’t think that you’re up for the challenge, we would understand. You just need to say so before we finalize anything.” With that she clicked the ballpoint pen in her hand, offering it to him for the final signature on the plan.  

When he looked away he could see the corner of the picture sticking out from the file folder. Something about that image – that poor little girl staring with all the intensity of someone who had gone to war – stirred a protective instinct inside of him. He didn’t realize it at the time, but he wouldn’t have any other choice. If he left that day without her, he’d forever wonder where she was and whether or not she was suffering the same fate she had in her previous life.

He set his jaw hard and took the pen.  

------------------------------- ------------------------------- ------------------------------- 

Yeahhhh, so that’s what I meant about having an asterisk in the title for the chapters with more intense themes. Poor bby hasn’t had the best upbringing. Thankfully that will change in the chapters to come, but there will certainly be some rough spots along the way.

Chapter 1: http://pepperminthotchocolate.tumblr.com/post/163644151063/voice-like-an-echo-chapter-1

Chapter 3: http://pepperminthotchocolate.tumblr.com/post/164448259843/voice-like-an-echo-chapter-3

[moghedien]

Dianetics, Part 3 - Disabilities actually ARE caused by sin!

All right, so I just finished Chapter 2, titled “The Clear” where some very bold claims were made, as well as some contradictory ones. Before I really go into the chapter itself, I want to give some context to some of the conclusions I’ll make from this chapter.

 I know that while Scientology is a topic of interest because its strange, most people don’t know a lot about how it works. I’ve done way too much research into Scientology, so I’ll explain the basic concept of the Bridge and ultimate goals of the individual Scientologist so that I can explain why this chapter is purposely either withholding information or contradicted by other Scientology concepts.

Past Updates: Part Zero, Part 1, Part 2 

So the general goal for a Scientologists is to move up “The Bridge.” The Bridge is basically a chart/pathway that shows how you progress and what each new step means. You can google charts of this, if you’re really interested (oh boy do they have charts) but the general path is to reach a level that is called “Clear” and then go on into individual OT levels, of which there are currently eight, but David Miscavige (the “pope” of Scientology and successor of L Ron Hubbard) is either about to release more or just released more. I’m not exactly sure how many more OT levels he’s adding. OT stands for “Operating Thetan” and a thetan in Scientology is basically a soul or spirit. Confused yet? Don’t worry about it, just stay with me for a bit.

A person moves up the Bridge through auditing sessions which are basically consoling sessions that are one part therapy, three parts interrogation. If you’ve ever seen pictures of a Scientologist holding things that look like tin cans with wires, that’s an auditing session. It’s also how Scientology gets information on all their members. Good Scientologists are auditing every single day and everything that they say in auditing is recorded and filed away. This is what people are talking about when they refer to Scientology blackmailing people.

So if you’re a good Scientologist and you go through several hundred hours of auditing (all of which you have to personally pay for and will easily total in the thousands or tens thousands) you will eventually go clear. This means that you’ve solved all your mental crisis and are a fully functioning thetan. You’re basically a perfect human being, only not really.

Because you see, after you go clear, then you find out about OT levels. You actually still need improvement, despite being perfect. Depending on what level you’re at exactly, you will either continue to go up the Bridge through being audited or auditing yourself. Things get really weird at OT 3, which is when you find out the Scientology Mythology. I won’t go into that here, but I’ll explain it in another post if anyone is interested, just ask me about it. OT 8 is the last level developed by LRH himself, but more levels are being released and developed. They are claiming that LRH developed these new levels and they’re only now ready for release, but more than likely this is Miscavige’s way to get his ever-shrinking Church to become more profitable for him. At OT 8 thought, people are supposed to basically be superheroes and can move things with their minds, basically. Oddly enough, most OT 8s can’t actually demonstrate these skills they’re supposed to have. Maybe that’s why they needed more levels.

Why am I explaining all of this? Well this chapter of Dianetics is the first introduction to the “Clear,” aka the Perfect Human Being. Me, a person who knows entirely too much about Scientology, knows what LRH is doing here, but the average person who decides to pick up this book and read it wouldn’t. I just want to give any of my readers context to what I’m going to talk about, because I try to be better than L Ron Hubbard.

***

In this chapter, Hubbard begins with a definition of the word Clear within Dianetics. The Clear is what he calls the “optimum individual.” That’s the first sentence of this chapter. The Clear is the person without any insanities or neurosis. They can remember—or as he puts it, recall—things with complete clarity, not just visually. They can perfectly see, hear, taste, smell, and even feel any moment from their past whenever they wish, and they can do this while being completely conscious. It is not like hypnosis and regression, he makes that very clear. The person is both in the present and in the past, completely. Makes sense? Sure, why not. For now pretend it does.

Now, you may be wondering why a person who is Clear can have perfect recollection but someone who isn’t—LRH calls them aberree because they have aberrations—is constantly makes mistakes. Well, the answer to that is that the aberree doesn’t make mistakes. You see, human being are inherently perfect and are perfect computing machines. We are, in fact, better than any computer that will ever be built, but with the aberree, we has input errors. We process information perfectly, but it’s the information we perceive that we process perfectly. For instance, I have terrible eyesight, so I might input the wrong visual information, but what I do input I will have compute with perfection because humans are apparently perfect by nature. Studies have found this. Which studies? Well, LRH conveniently never says, but just trust that they have been conducted by someone and it was a perfectly done study that can be repeatable.

According to LRH, the only people that can NOT become Clear are people who have had large portions of their brain removed, or people who are, and I quote: “born with a grossly malformed nervous structure.” But what about blind or deaf people? What about people who can’t smell? How can you have perfect input of all your senses, if one of your senses doesn’t work? Well, gentle reader, this is the part where I explain why all of this is utter bullshit.

You see in this chapter, LRH doesn’t just explain what Clears are, but he explains WHY non-Clears do not have perfect sensory input. Remember how in the previous chapter he explained that 70% of all physical ailments are psychosomatic? You’ve guessed it! If you have a sensory impairment, it’s psychosomatic! Your brain is making up your poor vision. He actually uses that as his example. If you have bad vision, it’s just your mind attacking your eyes and not letting your poor vision heal. Basically the principle behind autoimmune diseases, except it makes no sense and is not at all backed by science.

However, if you eventually become Clear and cure your aggressive mind, then your eyes will eventually heal and you won’t need glasses anymore. To quote the book, “One of the incidental things which happen to a Clear is that his eyesight, if it had been bad as an aberree, generally improves markedly, and with some slight attention will recover optimum perception in time.” He also insists that ringing ears are the same thing. With going clear, you will stop having them ring all the dang time.

Notably, he doesn’t mention actual blindness or deafness. He doesn’t claim that going clear will cure those, he doesn’t even mention them. He also is repetitive in explaining that people are individuals, and even Clears don’t perceive the same thing. They have different inputs, and how your input changes with going Clear will vary greatly from person to person. Basically, he’s promising to cure your disabilities, but also saying that if he doesn’t cure you that doesn’t mean he was wrong. It just means that you’re an Individual. It sounds almost like he is not expecting this to work and is trying to cover he bases from the get go. Hmmm.

But regardless of whether Dianetics will cure your blindness, the fact remains that you’re blind because of yourself. This goes back to the Old Time belief that disability and mental illness are caused by your personal sins, only they don’t quite exist in those terms in Scientology. Its taken away from the Judeo-Christian concept of sin and put into a pseudo-science context. Instead of sin, its engrams and personal experience. The fact remains, however, that LRH is basically arguing that disability is caused by sin, but in different terms.

Don’t worry though, he promises that you will become optimum when you become Clear. You’ll be perfectly sane. You’ll have perfect recall and perception. You literally can’t get any better, and it is possible to reach this level. It’s actually human nature to be this perfect individual, so you can easily achieve it. Only, LRH is leaving some things out.

He claims here that Clear is the perfection. It is the ultimate goal of Dianetics and the sign of the perfect individual. Only, that’s not the case according to how Scientology works. Going Clear is a baby step compared to what follows. Its like taking off your training wheels. You aren’t an Olympic cyclist, you’ve just learned to ride a bike. Dianetics is largely targeted at non-Scientologists. They did and are still doing huge marketing campaigns for the book to get into the public.

So what happens here is you’re a vulnerable person looking for help. You turn to Dianetics and this acclaimed writer is telling you that perfection is easily achievable and it’s this thing called Clear. You want that, so you go to the seminars, you take the classes, you start the auditing sessions, paying hundreds of dollars each time. You eventually find yourself in this religion called Scientology that is helping you feel accepted and valued and listened to. You pay thousands of thousands of dollars until you finally reach this level of perfection called Clear…only you don’t feel perfect. You still have problems. Why’s that?

Well, because LRH wasn’t being completely honest when he said that going Clear was reaching perfection. You still have quite a long ways to go, but now we have these things called OT levels that can help you actually reach perfection. You’ll just have to go from spending thousands to spending hundreds of thousand, and we’ve already signed you up for more auditing sessions, you start tomorrow. Oh, and you’re an example now, remember, we expect the best of you because you’ve gone clear. Not even all Sea Org members have done that.

LRH is promising to fix your every promise through Dianetics, but then delays and delays and delays that promise when you actually get into Scientology. Once you’re deep and invested in it, the obstacles start coming and the demands start getting worse. Every problem becomes your fault, but the lead in is gentle. He’s promising a whole lot upfront that gets redacted once the paperwork is signed.

***

  I’ve already said a lot here, so I’m just going to briefly note two observations I made while reading. LRH constantly uses vocabulary like “we’ve found that” without ever identifying who “we” are. He’s using this collective for seemingly no reason other than to suggest that he is part of some large field of study, but he never actually says that. He also constantly repeats his ideas throughout the chapters. I feel like this is because of his claims in the “how to read this book” section I talked about in part one. If he repeats them enough, you’ll really remember what he’s saying, which will prove that this book is superior because you remembered all the idea and understood the thing he explained eight times within ten pages.

 And again, if anyone wants me to explain the OT3 weird Deep Knowledge of Scientology Mythology, ask me because it’s insane and I love talking about it.