#-waiting for a dumbass who can't read to pick on that post to say I manipulate people somehow hah

[crepes-suzette-373]

One Piece Magazine Reiju short story

I recently bought One Piece Magazine to read the Reiju short story. I don't know how to share this experience other than just straight up translating the whole thing, but it was utterly hilarious chaos with the brothers trying to cook and it just ended up being a disastrous mess.

I'll give a summary, I guess...

Reiju and her brothers went to another kingdom for a diplomatic discussion, but once they were done, the Germa ships that were supposed to pick them up got delayed by the weather. The bros can't wait so they demand the locals to be given a ship.

Niji/Yonji: "Oh good, they understand. So we don't have to steal a ship."

Well, they did tell the people that Germa will compensate them, but still.

And yeah, the guys were so hungry that they were like "Even though royals shouldn't do menial things like cooking, we're dying of hunger here so it can't be helped."

All writers apparently agree that Niji misses Sanji like an utter dumbass because in the kitchen he out of nowhere says "Didn't we used to have a younger brother called Sanji who likes to cook?"

Yonji says "Yeah, he was kind of lame" and Ichiji says there's been wanted posters of him being spread around.

(Edit: I saw another post saying that the one who brought up Sanji first is Ichiji. To be fair, in the actual text there's no dialogue tags indicating who was talking. It's definitely not Yonji, because it specified "younger" brother. I personally read this as Niji because the sentence was more informal-sounding)

Based on the info they got, Reiju is aware of Sanji's history with Baratie and the Straw Hat crew, and thinks that because he's listed as just a cook on the wanted posters and not "fighter/combatant", he's probably still not much stronger than before.

Ichiji found some pork, labelled to be from Broc Coli. Reiju mentioned that Broc Coli specialises in pig farming and the pigs have been selectively bred to improve the meat quality. Ichiji commented "Oh, it's similar to our lineage factor modification, then", but then the next second he suddenly gets mad about it himself, throws the meat to the ground and was like "How could pigs compare to our Vinsmoke royal family."

Reiju: "You brought it up yourself out of nowhere though? :/"

Ichiji is grumpy and wants to go fishing instead. With the Raid Suit. Don't know how, wasn't explained, maybe he Sparking Valkyrie'd the fishes.

Niji wants to make chocolates, but had a meltdown because the recipe calls for cooking/confectioner's chocolate. He was like "Why?? do you?? need chocolate?? to make chocolate??? If the chocolate is already there I'll just eat that directly???"

(Note: It's not making cake or brownies or anything, it's making something along the lines of chocolate truffles or milk chocolates or other forms of chocolate that isn't just straight up dark chocolate/confectioner's chocolate. He's confused because the final product is still just "chocolate")

Yonji wants to make bread because it looks easy. Reiju decided to try to make something too, and wanted to make tamagoyaki (Japanese rolled omelettes) because she remembered reading about it in a story book with Sora before.

Reiju's logic: "If a penguin (in the story book) can cook, then even a beginning like me can do it." (so much for Reiju being the rational one)

Yonji starts shouting for help. His bread is a goopy mess and is a total failure. Apparently he didn't add the yeast because the recipe says 3g of yeast, and that's almost 0, so he didn't add any. Reiju tells him to make sure to follow the steps properly.

Ichiji comes back with a giant fish, and is asking for poison check. No poison, so Reiju left him to cut the fish.

Yonji is still having trouble, and he says he had added the ingredients properly this time. The dough is still gloopy and will not firm up even after kneading. Reiju said that maybe because of the exoskeleton, their skin are too cold for the fermentation process to start activating.

Yonji is grumpy and asks if this means he can't make bread. Reiju suggest using hot water to warm his skin, but he's already really disgruntled and says that it's so lame that they have to rely on microorganisms to make bread (well, at least he knows yeast is microorganisms, not just another type of flour).

(Note: This part really does not sound right to me, honestly. Maybe this was just meant to show that Reiju and Yonji have zero knowledge in cooking, but bread dough not firming up and gloopy is usually not related to yeast or fermentation, but the gluten. Most cases that I know of are either caused by adding too much water, not enough kneading, the flour itself is not suitable for bread, or even the dough being over fermented. I've never heard of sticky dough problems being caused by hand temperature.)

(Edit: I've discovered that Japanese bread making guides do mention temperature affecting the dough, but it's nevertheless because of the gluten and not the yeast. This one might a goof on the author's side.)

Ichiji gave up fileting the fish because there's bones everywhere. he dumped all the dead fishes he caught back to the sea. Yonji gave up trying to make bread and tossed the failed dough away (and also threw away Reiju's egg attempt even though it was fine :/). Niji can't find any chocolate, so he has nothing.

They can't do anything except wait until they reach Germa and then just go "AAAAAAA FOOODD" (well, they act cool in front of the servants, but still).

Reiju herself showered and got cleaned up first before going to eat. Seeing the poisoned stonefish served, she wondered how normal chefs handle the poisonous ingredients and so she went to the kitchen to ask.

There was a young cook on cleaning duty that immediately panics, but then a senior cook named Beryl came out to answer her questions. Reiju says old lady Beryl has been there for a very long time, even before the kids were born.

Beryl explains that to treat the armoured stonefish to make it safe to eat is to let it swim in a tank with Ruby Wakame seaweed. The seaweed will absorb the toxins and after 3 weeks, the fish will change from purple to blue, and this indicates that the toxins is completely gone and it will be safe to eat.

An easier method would be to just skin the fish and take out the poisonous organs, but fish skin is a delicacy, and so the chefs would do this so they can serve cuts of the fish with the skin attached.

Reiju makes a comment that cooking must be very hard because her brothers are all picky eaters (not just Niji, apparently), but Beryl says she and the other chefs are happy to adjust the prep to make the food palatable to the boys.

"Ichiji-sama dislikes green vegetables, but if you chop it up finely and mix it with meat dishes such as hamburg steaks, he will eat it without noticing."

Reiju: Is he a toddler?

(Note: Dunno if this is a universal thing, but it's a Japanese thing that when toddlers hate vegetables, the parents would chop up vegetables and put it in meatballs or the toddler's other favourite food so that they can get the vegetable nutrients even though the child dislikes the vegetable's taste)

"Niji-sama dislikes things with complex seasonings, so things like the sauces and such has to be made to be very simple to the utmost extent."

Reiju: That's dumb.

"Yonji-sama doesn't like food with dry texture, but if it's served to him when he gets hungry between meal times, he'll usually eat it."

Reiju: Is he a dog?

(Note: There is a section where Reiju muses that the cooks "safeguards" their meals just like how "Germa 66 protect peace". What peace? In the main series they're fine with siding with whoever, as long as they get paid. This comment doesn't make sense unless maybe she was being ironic/sarcastic here.)

Reiju apologised for bothering the cooks at this time, and Beryl then lets slip that Sanji has been to the kitchens often. When Reiju presses further, eventually Beryl reveals that Sora likes to make desserts often. Sora would say that she hoped to someday be able to cook together with her kids.

Hearing this Reiju briefly fantasised baking together with her mother and Sanji. Knowing it's just idle fantasy, though, she thanks Beryl for telling her all these and helping her appreciate cooking more.

Reiju thinks of Sanji and reevaluates her opinions on him. He's not "just" a cook. People's lives are basically in the hands of the cook, especially on long voyages at sea. She is glad that him having a place as a ship's cook means that he's found good friends who rely on him and trust him.

She then transforms, and uses her ability to suck out the poison from the fish, saying that the cooks are welcome to ask her for help to take out the poison if they need to cook with the stonefish.

[parallel-selfs]

Glorious Masquerade (chapter 5)

Translation by Gasumasuku Gamer, Ekala and Otome Ayui. EN playthrough by RoseEmber.

Instead of chatting, just pick him up and throw him down the stairs the second you saw him. That's what I would do.

Cry me a river, Rollo.

Why can't you fist fight him? Why use magic when you can punch him?

Cause you're the dumbass who left their diary in the school's fireplace instead of placing it in your bedroom.

Why do you do this to me, why must we read his brother's last moments? 😭

Rollo is allowed to despise mages, he has every right to, but trying to erase magic because it can be dangerous isn't the answer. He's doing this out of place guilt and grief that went untreated. I said this before in a post on my main, he could become a teacher for younger children who unlocked their magic early in life. He can teach them how to control it better and prevent incidents like his brother's from happening again.

It angers me that adults failed another child. Every childhood trauma in this game is caused by adults failing the child.

Idia is the only person who understands Rollo the most. Too bad he's an asshole.

Honestly, I wish I could talk to Rollo instead of having these assholes do it.

Azul, chill.

They're in a dangerous situation, there's no time to be suspicious. If his unique magic can help them, so be it.

Why were you guys just standing and talking? You should have immediately rang the bell instead of waiting for Rollo to get back up.

Malleus, don't say that.

This girl is on fire!!

"No, you're ringing the bell."

He's a dragon, you think that would really affect him.

"Grr, a little busy over here, Grim."

"Grim! Stop being a troublemaker!"

The huge relief at hearing the bell, relaxing her body as the flowers die. Probably falls to her knees.

... I feel bad at seeing him cry. Honey...

That's something you see a lot: "I'm doing for this so-and-so!" That person didn't ask for this, they had no involvement in this. You're doing for yourself and only for yourself. (Unless you're Book 6)

Idia spitting facts, and I agree with Azul, that last part wasn't necessary.

Because fuck you that's why.

The interaction is very cute.

Malleus glaring at him and making him nervous 😆

Malleus, why are you so cute?

Sliding down the side of the tower would look so cool 😣

Isn't Rollo tied up, would the two question it?

Yeah... Just like the righteous judge...

Stay silence and have the fear of someone finding out or confess and be hated by everyone. Malleus, you evil man, same hat.

Going to a different place and have fun? Of course everyone want the ball! Especially after what happened!

I imagine Malleus ran over to Alice once he saw her and gave her the biggest hug that she told him he's crushing her. Then walked both her and Trein back to their rooms.

I believe everything ended at 12-1am, Alice probably sleeping until 10-11pm and then walking the city with those who are awake.

Ace will tease you out of envy.

You can't feel the pain if you're performing.

Rook is the fourth person to cry in this event.

You're lying through your teeth.

Yeet!!

😆 Grim became a car! Why did he come in like that?

"You climbed on his back and hurt him more. No throwing up for you." (Could be phrased better, but makes it funny.)

Azul, don't be an asshole.

"Don't be lecturing me, Azul. I asked Rook if you didn't give me my power back, he will hunt you down until you did."

Azul, stop lying to yourself. It's not healthy.

Rook hiding behind Epel.

Pats Grim's head. "You look great, everyone."

"Thank you, Malleus." (Idia is just grinning at Yuu 😆)

Frowning at Rollo with crossed arms.

Jumpscared by the spotlight. Grim, you prideful cat.

The power she sees from her friend as the crowd splits for him.

(You think I have the ghost camera on me? You're getting my phone camera as a report.)

"This was a pleasant surprise."

"Wanted to be part of the performance?"

"Says the two feet direbeast who gets lost in crowds easily."

"Pot calling kettle black."

(Dancing with your enemy.)

(Awkward.)

(Then Malleus immediately runs over and sweeps Alice off of her feet to start dancing.)

Malleus asks her about his performance. "The performance was beautiful! I really enjoyed it!"

The two share a dance together, being dorky friends and giggling to each other.

Scarred by magic

[pinkydude]

Just because I love you and your content and racoon-boy, I got to ask you... what do you think what kind of relationship/connection did Mitch and (my most beloved) Scorpio (who died fricking too early) have?

AFHFHHF

Sooo my views on that actually evolved during the months

First few months, I actually saw their relationship as romantic-ish? And I remember seeing in the tags people that also saw it as Fruity and all afhfh so yeah I vibed with that

Now, I grew to really love the character of Mitch and of all the other Aldecaldos, with a Lot of replays of Panam's quests etc it felt wrong? To me? To slap that on their relationship, given how Mitch trust you with dealing with Scorpion etc I'm sure the guy would've told us about any underlaying feelings when sharing the beers, you know

EDIT 03.09 : AEHHG WITH NEW INFORMATIONS IM BACK ON THE “Oh they might be gay” STUFF SO I CHANGED VIEWS AGAIIINN 🤡👉👈

Lets see the Canon stuff, with some interpretation

He tell us multiple time that he is/was his best friend, we see them sharing jokes via emails, they were really friendly even in serious situation like when the Kang Tao AV was crashing and all, you can see they're obviously close

Also fhfh dumb detail but, when asking why Scorpion is called Scorpion, Mitch says something like "Maybe he had a big stinger" (cant remember the exact line in english sorry) and he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to be embarassed about anything? if he had saw his bff dick he wouldve told us for sure, like "Because he had a big stinger" or something

I haven't gone too much into it but I read some of the cp2020 Nomad lore, but from what I've read Nomads don't have taboos about Nudity, Sex and everything, they're really open (They probably take shared shower to save water in the badlands, and they canonly have a big festival where multiple games take place, with org/ies etc so, yeah)

SO FHFH Given all that ^ to me their relationship was really close, like Bros BFFs that would slap each others ass, kiss each others platonically, not afraid to hug etc etc

They also were Soldiers together, one year together during the Unification Point, surely shared a Panzer at one point (even tho Mitch was a sniper, protecting them from afar?) meaning with connected mind etc- Did they got down and dirty together? Eeh probably at some point IMO

Worth noting that, when the Kang Tao shit went down, and you save Mitch, he seem almost... uuh "already at peace" isn't right, but he isn't breaking down over his best friend death- they talked about it before, told each others how they would like to go / to be taken care of, probably told one another that they will be waiting for them, that they will always be here for each other always etc etc- I dont know if I make sense AHFHF but like, he knew and he was ready for it (Doesnt mean it doesnt hurt like hell, if you wait in front of Mitch during I'll fly away, he mutter Scorpion's name. During the campfire, he's seen muttering alone to himself- tied to Scorpion or maybe general PTSD, and he dont forget about him, mention him until the end of the game, during the Star Ending)

NOW For my personal headcanons

Its been 7years since the Unification war, and I like to imagine that's where they met? On the field, two guys with freshly equipped War cybernetics, bonding over a year etc

With friends we had this HD that Scorpion was this kind of rebel little twink that was getting into trouble etc, and Mitch took him under his wing to push his ass and turn him into a True Soldier tm because they grew fond of each other, and Mitch didnt wanted the guy to die on the battlefield, to die so fast (I headcanon Mitch as older as Scorp)

EDIT 03.09 : ^ Not anymore, reading the game script they actually BOTH came back after war, meaning they were already Aldecaldos before the Unification War.

If I remember correctly, Mitch's database entry read as "(...) he came back to the Aldecaldos" after war, so that means he was with them before he joined the ranks, I headcanon that Scorp followed him, and was kind of a "new" member. We also know Mitch is one of the most respected Aldecaldos, and he act as the "Leader" of the vet group

God this got long AUGHFHJFJD--

But yeh, like, if one of them told the other "I think I love you" in a romantic way? I think the other one would've been ok with it. They were really close, but not "officially together", just really close bros that wouldnt have minded holding hands and snuggling in public

I HOPE THIS IS Readable, I just woke up and saw this and wanted to give it some thoughts- it turned into a wall text LMAOOFVFV

THANKS YOU FOR LIKING MY BOY AND MY CONTENT

*I Feel like I need to write this here but- if you ship them romantically thats valid as fuck, as well as if you see them as bros or anything- I'm just sharing my own vibes and views on it! Please don't deform my words, this is not in ANYWAY the truth and only my own vision

[here2bbtstrash]

look down on me like that - 3 (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut (w some eventual angst)

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

word count: 8.2k

contains: explicit sexual content for real this time!! 🍆 the smut has arrived 🍆 we've got masturbation and accidental voyeurism in this one 👀 and of course still lots of alcohol mentions,,, along with all the usual suspects: dumbass reader, bestie jimin, coworker JK, and grouchy asshole yoongi

A/N: this is my first time posting a chapter of this series and knowing there are actual people out there waiting for/excited about it and ouchhh my heart 🥺💜 y'all are seriously the best and i can't tell you how much i appreciate every positive comment/reblog/ask i get about this series, it rly helps me push through on the days when i feel thoroughly incompetent ;v; i hope you enjoy!!!!

read on AO3!

chapter two | masterlist | chapter four

~*~

“Let me get this straight,” Jimin says through a mouthful of tteokbokki. He’s still in his sweats and t-shirt from dance practice, and his tiny bean sprout ponytail bobs up and down as he chews. “The coworker who is a jerk to you, and who you think suspects that you faked your way into this job, and who locked you out of the office tonight… is Suga?”

You stab angrily at a fish cake, your voice sullen. “Yes.”

“Like, the Suga?”

“Is there another?”

“The extremely famous and talented and all-around big fucking deal producer, Suga? That’s who you picked to be your arch-nemesis?”

“Shut up!” You flop back angrily onto the floor of your living room. “I didn’t pick him! If anything, he kind of picked me. He could’ve just been nice to me, and none of this would be happening.”

Jimin nods, returning to his food. “Well, he does have great taste in tteokbokki, if that counts for anything.”

You throw an arm over your eyes and groan. “He’s such a fucking… smug asshole jerk face.”

“You have such a way with words,” Jimin giggles, and you grab a pillow off your couch and launch it at him. He only barely manages to duck out of the way. “Hey!”

You flop over onto your side, cheek rubbing against the carpet. After a few moments of silence, you feel Jimin’s socked foot wiggle against your ear. You instinctively reach out and grab it. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking,” you grunt, “about all the things I’d like to do to destroy that man. Like maybe trash his office, key his car… and you had a good idea with the rat poison in the coffee thing.”

“I actually specifically told you not to do that—”

“I don’t understand why he has to make my life so hard,” you steamroll over Jimin, giving his foot another squeeze. “I didn’t do anything to him, and it’s like he takes every opportunity he has to question me, belittle me, berate me, embarrass me, and just generally drive me fucking insane.” Your grip tightens reflexively with each word as you get angrier and angrier.

“Okay, ow! Don’t take it out on me!” Jimin jerks his leg and you release. He rubs tenderly at the top of his foot, which you were nearly crushing to death moments before.

Too indignant to apologize, you roll onto your back once more and stare up at the ceiling. “Maybe I should just quit. I can find a job where all my coworkers are nice and normal.”

“Are you really going to give in like that? You know that’s exactly what he wants you to do!” Jimin pauses for a moment, a sly smile on his face. “And besides, this is only the beginning of your story.”

You give him a look. “What on earth does that mean?”

“I’m just saying, if your life was a drama, this would be like… episode 2.”

You groan, your head smacking back against the carpet. “You watch too much TV.”

“I’m serious, this is a perfect set up. You’ve got the enemies part down, tensions are high, you’re both scheming to get back at each other— then BAM!” He smacks his hand on your coffee table for emphasis.

“Please, tell me what happens.” You deadpan with a roll of your eyes.

Jimin pauses as if considering the options. “Well, it depends. There’s a few directions the story could go. One of you could develop amnesia—” he makes a face. “Bleh, so overdone. You might realize you knew each other when you were kids.”

He pauses to shove a rice cake in his mouth, then continues as he chews. “But the most likely outcome is, of course, discovering that under all that hatred, you actually deeply desire one another.”

At this, you sit up. “What?!”

“Come on, enemies to lovers. It’s a classic.”

You glare at him. “Are you trying to get smacked?”

Jimin puts his hands up. “No more physical violence! I’m an innocent man.” He scoots back, attempting to get out of your range. “It’s just… basic physics. All that tension’s gotta go somewhere. When you and Suga end up hatefucking on the conference table, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He’s not fast enough to avoid the second couch pillow, which hits him squarely in the face.

~*~

You’re up an hour before your alarm the next morning, fueled purely by anger, and you make it to the office so early, Jungkook is still in his boxing class. This time, the door gives when you push, and you slam it open so hard you nearly dislocate your shoulder.

You storm down the hall to Yoongi’s lab—he’s lost the privilege of you calling him by his stupid producer name now—and smack your fist against the door.

“Open the fucking door, Yoongi!” You shout, realizing only a little too late that you didn’t censor yourself. Hopefully no one is around to hear; it’s not even 7 AM so you’re almost definitely the first one in the office. Even if you aren’t, you’re too far gone to really care.

The second the door cracks, before you even catch a glimpse of him, you jam your foot in the opening to prevent him from closing it again. “Give me my keys back, and give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you fired today,” you hiss.

The door swings open a little wider until you can actually see him on the other side. He looks… bad. The deep purple circles under his eyes could nearly pass for bruises, and you realize he’s wearing the same clothes he had on last night.

Irrelevant, you tell yourself. Still stole your keys. Still an asshole. No mercy.

“Fine,” he grunts, and his voice sounds like gravel. He crosses back towards his desk, and you take the opportunity to push your way inside and slam the door behind you.

You round on him. “I don’t know what kind of game you think this is, but I am not fucking playing.”

Yoongi stifles a yawn as he grabs the keys off his desk. “It’s not personal, I just needed to get this track done, and I couldn’t focus with you banging on the door and yelling about how hungry you were.” He turns back to you, keys in hand, and smirks. “And blasting your awful music.”

You open your palm for the keys and he drops them into your hand.

“Track’s done,” he continues with a shrug, “so I’m good now. Until next time.” He walks past you, so close he nearly shoulder-checks you, and collapses onto the leather couch in the corner of his office. He curls up on his side, facing away from you. “Turn off the lights when you leave.”

You stand there, bewildered. “Hey, no, I’m not done! You don’t get to sleep.” You stalk after him and kick the base of the couch for emphasis, which doesn’t do anything except hurt your foot. “We need a better plan for next time, because I am not repeating last night ever again,” you say firmly. “I don’t care how much you hate me, you need to figure out a way to work with me, because I take my job seriously. I’ll wear these keys around my fucking neck if I have to.”

Yoongi gives a frustrated groan, most likely at the fact that you’re still talking, and rolls over to cross his arms behind his head and look up at you. He sighs for a moment, examining you in a way that makes you long to put your hands around his neck and squeeze. Then finally, he speaks.

“Yeah, you take this job so seriously. That’s why you’ve never used a computer before.” He laughs dryly. “Where did they find you? Don’t tell me…” He hums sleepily as he pretends to think. “You decided you couldn’t hack being a bartender anymore. I mean, you aren’t personable enough to make decent money, that’s obvious. So, you had someone, maybe a coworker, fake a reference so you could break into the corporate world.”

He yawns again; your stomach drops as his words hang heavy in the air. What hurts even worse is how close he came to the truth.

That stupid smirk is back on his stupid face. “Seems like I got it. You really have no poker face, has anyone ever told you that?”

You cross your arms with a huff, embarrassed by how easily he can read you. “Shut up.” You hate that he makes you feel like this, always so flustered and unprepared, even when he’s half asleep.

Yoongi fishes in the pocket of his sweatpants for a second, then pulls out his phone. “Give me your number.”

Your stomach drops. “What? No. Why?”

“I’ll call you when I need to get into the studio,” he says, like it’s obvious. “Then you can come unlock it for me, miss key-holder.”

You make a face. “And what makes you think I’ll drop everything to help you?”

Yoongi stretches and groans, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. His shirt just barely rides up, exposing a stripe of pale skin and the black band of his boxers that peeks over his sweatpants.

Your eyes linger for a second, and Jimin’s trashy TV show theory comes back to you. You force yourself to avert your gaze and not think about hatefucking on a conference table– because that is never, ever happening. You turn away from Yoongi entirely and take in the so-called Genius Lab.

It dawns on you that you’ve never actually been in here before. Half the room is taken up by a desk which boasts a sleek desktop and six monitors that you’re sure would easily cover more than a year’s worth of your rent in price. A massive second screen is mounted on the wall, and littered across the desk are things you only vaguely recognize as mixers, interfaces, and drum machines.

To your left is a gorgeous keyboard, to your right, an entire electric drum kit. Hidden LED lights run along the edges of the walls, bathing the room in a soft purple glow, which you don’t hate. You spin in a full circle to take it all in.

Against the back wall is the leather couch, next to the door. For a split second you wonder how many times he’s slept there instead of going home— or gone without sleep at all, like he apparently did last night. The thought makes your heart sink a bit.

Your gaze lands back on Yoongi, who you realize has been watching you. When he speaks, his voice is even and serious.

“You’ll answer when I call because, supposedly, this job means a lot to you. I doubt you’d be too happy if I started planting ideas in the boss’ head about your complete lack of experience.” He shrugs. “The way I see it, you can probably make it a couple months here before people start to catch on. Or, I can go talk to the boss today, and we can expedite the process. Just depends on whether or not you give me what I want.”

You instantly regret feeling any ounce of empathy for him when you realize he’s fucking blackmailing you. “You wouldn’t,” you hiss, but you already know he absolutely would.

“Do you really want to take that chance?”

You open and close your mouth, trying to think of a way out, but you’re very much backed into this corner. Defeated, you recite off your number, and he types it into his phone.

“But I am not pulling all-nighters here,” you clarify. “I don’t care how behind on a deadline you are, when I’m tired, I get to kick you out so we can both go home.”

“Whatever.” He lets his phone drop to the floor next to him and throws an arm over his eyes. You can see you are effectively dismissed, and you make sure to leave the lights on as you storm out, just to spite him.

When you get back to your desk, Jungkook is standing at the front door, looking confused. “There you are! Wow, how early did you get in? Everything okay?”

You press the cold metal of your key against the palm of your hand and try to remind yourself that you do still have power. Fuck what Min Yoongi says. You don’t have to do anything for him. You’re the one in control here.

“Yep, everything’s great,” you say with a smile. Jungkook gives a nod that looks equal parts affirming and confused.

“Oh hey, Jungkook?” You stop him before he disappears off to his own desk. “Any chance I could join you at that boxing class?”

~*~

“Wow, have you done this before?” Jungkook is short of breath as the two of you circle each other in preparation to review the final combination of class.

“Nope.”

The instructor gives the signal, and you run it again.

Right hook. Stupid floppy hair always falling in his face when he’s threatening you. Left uppercut. Stupid patronizing smirk when he’s laughing at you. Right hook again. Stupid dark eyes that make you feel like you can’t do anything right when he’s looking at you. 

Cross, jab, cross. “Stupid— fucking— asshole!” You grunt under your breath as you slam your fists into Jungkook’s gloves. When the instructor calls time, you drop to your knees on the mat, panting hard and unfortunately still fucking furious. This class wasn’t exactly the release you were hoping for.

“That’s it for today, great work everybody! And remember, we should only ever be hitting at 50% strength while we’re partnered!” The instructor gives you a not-so-subtle look as the class disperses, and you glance sheepishly up at Jungkook. He wiggles a hand out of his glove and offers it to help you to your feet.

“Be honest, did I break you?” You ask, still trying to get your breath back.

Jungkook shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I can take it. It was kind of impressive, actually. You’re really good, especially for your first time.” He pauses, and you can tell he’s trying to be polite and not ask the extremely obvious question.

You answer it anyway, wiping sweat from your temples. “I’ll tell you at breakfast.”

One body shower and a speed-run application of your makeup later, you’re standing in line for egg sandwiches and pretending not to notice Jungkook tenderly rubbing his thumb over the center of his palm. You do feel a little bad for hitting him so hard. It’s not like any of this is his fault.

“So, I get back to the office with the food, and that’s when I discover that he locked me out,” you say with a frustrated sigh. It’s still embarrassing to admit it out loud. “I left my keys on my desk and he managed to grab them without me noticing.”

“Wow,” Jungkook breathes. “That’s terrible. I mean, I feel like you should tell someone.”

Your pulse quickens as you realize you can’t exactly share the entire story. Jungkook has done way too much for you already, and the thought of revealing that he’s stuck his neck out for someone who is a complete fraud and is now being blackmailed about it is more than you can handle.

You sigh. “I think it’s okay now. I mean, I was picturing his face on your gloves. My ego definitely still hurts. But we worked it out, I guess. Sort of. It’s hard to explain.”

You pause, wondering if that sounds weird. Jungkook has a strange expression on his face that you can’t decipher. “At least, he won’t take my keys anymore, I can tell you that,” you continue. “I’m never letting them out of my sight again.”

You fidget with the strap of your purse over your shoulder. “The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that he gets an extra lock on his door. Even I can’t stop him from locking himself in that stupid fucking lab. And then what am I supposed to do?”

Jungkook looks like he’s going to say something, but you’re called up to order, and by the time you have your breakfast in hand the conversation has changed entirely and he’s pulling up his phone to show you his most recent viral TikTok. You welcome the distraction— you’re honestly tired of talking about Yoongi. The rage hasn’t dissipated, but it’s at least a little more contained, enough that you think you can probably make it through the day without being escorted from the building in handcuffs.

With a few different projects you’re a part of all starting to ramp up, you’ve got plenty of things to attend to when you sit down at your desk to begin the workday. In fact, you don’t think about the conversation with Jungkook again until an email from him pops up in your inbox just after lunch.

The subject line “use it for good” is enough to pique your interest, and you click the message open and scan down. There’s no greeting or signature— there actually aren’t any words at all. Just four numbers stare back at you: 0 7 0 5.

Your heart jumps into your throat as you realize what it is. The code.

“Can’t lock me out now, asshole,” you mutter happily to yourself as you file the email away for safekeeping.

~*~

A week passes in a relative truce, or at the very least a stalemate. Yoongi says nothing to you, and you say nothing right back, more than happy with the silence. You don’t have any scheduled projects or meetings together for the foreseeable future either, thank god. He keeps to his 5:55 exit schedule, and you wake up an extra hour early to beat the shit out of Jungkook’s hands every morning.

But of course, you know it’s only a matter of time; eventually, giving him your number does indeed come back to bite you in the ass.

Tuesday night, you split the last of the bottle of prosecco between two glasses on the coffee table as Jimin tilts his head back to readjust the lay of his sheet mask. Ahn Hyoseop’s beautiful face is paused on the screen as the two of you are neck deep in your third rewatch of Business Proposal. You pick the remote up, but right before you can unpause, your phone rings loudly from between the couch cushions.

Jimin does his best to keep his face still as you dig for it, instead opting to make a noise of surprise. “Who is that? Everyone who calls you is already here.”

You smack him hard in the side as you finally retrieve your phone, only to groan when you see PROD ASSHOLE as the listed caller.

You’d dug Yoongi’s number out of the company’s HR database specifically so you could save it in your phone and ignore his calls. The rude contact name is a fun bonus, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying that he’s able to ruin your relaxation whenever he so chooses. It’s like he purposefully waited for the perfect moment to disturb you. 

You make a mental note to sweep your apartment for cameras later, and then you swipe to ignore the call.

Jimin returns a smack in kind on your upper arm. “I’m sorry, you gave Suga your phone number? And you’re ignoring his calls?! And you’re telling me this isn’t my new favorite drama?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jimin.” You unpause the TV, eager to squash this line of conversation and get back to Taemu and Hari sucking face.

When your phone starts vibrating repeatedly as texts flood in, one after another, you turn it on silent and flip it facedown on the coffee table. Then you drain the last of your glass of wine in one swallow. Not tonight, Yoongi.

Of course, you don’t know what else you expected when Yoongi barges into work on Wednesday morning and strides right up to you, stupid iced Americano in one hand and his phone in the other.

Before you realize what he’s doing or have any time to react, your phone starts buzzing against your desk, PROD ASSHOLE flashing across the screen. You snatch it, but you’re certain he had plenty of time to see his not-so-professional contact name.

He seems taken aback for a second and ends the call, then laughs. “I really thought you gave me a fake number. I see now you were just ignoring me.”

You roll your eyes, doing your best to continue the email you were midway through typing. “No, Yoongi, I was sleeping. What normal people do at night.” You can tell he’s glaring at you even without looking, because you instantly start forgetting how to spell basic words.

“Hmm,” he grunts after a moment. “Well, a normal person like you might want to keep your phone on, unless you want to go back to bartending at night instead of sleeping.”

Yoongi stalks off down the hall towards his lab, clearly uninterested in anything else you have to say. It takes every shred of willpower in you to restrain yourself from throwing a stapler at his retreating head.

~*~

Thursday morning, you tell Jungkook you can’t grab breakfast after class. You don’t share the specifics with him, and he doesn’t pry. You have something much more important to attend to.

The minute the boxing instructor dismisses everyone, you rip your gloves off and race to be the first person to shower and change out in the locker room. You don’t even bother with your makeup, opting instead to bring it with you to put on in the bathroom. You nearly get run over as you fully sprint down the street towards the office.

When you unlock the door and push it open, panting from the effort, you glance at your phone for the time.

7:05 AM. Perfect.

Setting your purse down, you lean up against your desk and scroll through your contact list until you find the name you’re looking for, working to get your breathing back under control. The line rings once, twice, and you almost think it will go to voicemail until the very last second.

“…Hello?” His voice is even lower than it normally is, and rough with sleep.

“Hi,” you try for your warmest corporate tone, but your voice still shakes a little. “Is this Min Yoongi?”

“Mmm?” You hear shifting on the other end of the phone, like he’s sitting up in bed.

“Good morning, this is your admin. Just wanted to inform you that the studio is now open for the day.” You will yourself to keep your voice neutral. “If you get hit by one of your big genius breakthroughs, you’re more than welcome to come in anytime between now and close.”

Yoongi makes a frustrated, exhausted sound, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep from laughing. “…Goddammit. I was sleeping.”

“Aw, so sorry.” You quickly hang up and nearly throw your phone onto your desk, your heart hammering in your chest. You can’t manage to keep the self-satisfied smirk off your face as you ride the high of that phone call for the rest of the day.

You’re stifling a yawn on the bus ride home that night when your phone rings. For the briefest moment a thrill of fear runs through you, but it’s just Jimin. You drop your head against the window as you slide to answer the call, watching the lights of the city stream by.

“Hi bestie.”

Jimin wastes no time. “Two questions, ranked in order of importance from least to most. One, are we still going out tomorrow night?”

“A thousand percent yes, I need a drink. Several drinks. And I promise, no puking this time.” You’re curious what his next question could be; what could possibly be more important?

“That brings me to two.” He pauses, building some sort of tension that is entirely lost on you. “How do you feel about the Grammy news?”

Your eyebrows pinch together, and you shift sideways on the bus seat to stretch your legs out. “What?”

“Uh, hello, don’t you work in the music industry? You know Grammy nominations dropped today, right?”

“I—” You falter. “Well, no, actually, I wasn’t aware. It didn’t come up. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if all our talent was snubbed, they’re not exactly known for their global inclusivity—”

Jimin laughs over you as if in disbelief. “You really don’t know. Oh, this is so fun for me. You’d better think again, because your very own male lead was, in fact, nominated.” You clap a hand over your mouth. “He produced one of the songs up for Song of the Year. Look it up, bitch.”

You partially uncover your mouth so you can speak. “First of all, call him my male lead again and this friendship is over.” Jimin scoffs on the other end of the line, and you do your best to keep your voice quiet despite the overwhelming shock. “But seriously, what the hell, Jimin?! You better not be fucking with me right now. Actually, hang on.”

You pry your phone away from your ear to do a quick Google search. The results that stare back at you quickly confirm that Jimin is, in fact, not fucking with you. When you press the phone to your cheek again, he’s still going.

“I seriously can’t believe I’m the one telling you this. You literally work with him.”

“He didn’t say anything about it.” You shake your head as you say it, trying to understand. “Nobody did. This doesn’t make any sense.” You rub wearily at your temple, suddenly filled with dread at the thought of how insufferable Yoongi might be when you see him next.

But come Friday morning, to your surprise, Yoongi isn’t insufferable at all. In fact, he’s not even there. You can barely focus on getting anything done— you feel like you’re glancing up every five minutes, anticipating the moment where he’ll finally burst through the doors, officially a Grammy-nominated producer, hellbent on driving you insane about it.

But the hours slowly tick by, and he never shows.

You convince yourself that surely, a third cup of coffee is what you need to be able to concentrate on your work, never mind the fact that your hands are already shaking from the first two.

When you step into the break room, Jungkook is sitting at a table, scrolling through his phone while absolutely destroying a to-go salad. You fix your mug of coffee and take the seat across from him, and he waves his fork at you. “Happy Friday!”

You only grunt in response, then wince inwardly when you realize you sound like Yoongi, and then that thought alone is enough to make your pulse race all over again. You have to resist the urge to bang your head on the table, and instead do your best to smile back at Jungkook and control the emotional chaos inside your brain.

“Sorry. It’s been a long week.”

“Tell me about it,” he says through a mouthful of chicken.

You take a sip from your mug, contemplating whether or not to leave it alone. But you know you can’t. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Always.” Jungkook locks his phone and sets it down, giving you his undivided attention. “What’s up?”

You pause, trying to figure out how the hell to word it. “Did you see the… news?” You lower your voice a little. “The Grammy nominations?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen and he chews a little faster. “Yeah, it’s crazy right?”

You stare blankly at him, waiting for more, then shake your head. “I don’t understand why nobody’s talking about it! I feel like that should kind of be a big deal, you know? At least worthy of a team meeting? Or an email?”

He shrugs. “Suga probably asked them not to. He’s weird about that kind of stuff.” Jungkook must be able to read the look of pure confusion on your face, because he pushes his salad away and continues.

“For instance, a couple months after I started working here, he had a track hit number one on Billboard, which I thought was pretty cool. So—” his face reddens a little, and he honestly looks embarrassed, almost cringing. “I was just trying to be nice, so I threw a little surprise thing here, just to congratulate him after work.”

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, biting back the urge to tell Jungkook that he is genuinely too pure for this world.

“But yeah, we get maybe fifteen minutes into the party and then we realize nobody can find Suga. Turns out he went back to his studio and locked himself in.” He shakes his head as he reaches for his salad again and stabs at a few pieces of lettuce. “I even got him a cake. I don’t think I saw him take one bite.”

You smile sympathetically. “It sounds like a really sweet gesture.”

Jungkook shrugs, talking with his mouth full. “Yeah, it was good, too. Red velvet.”

Everything whirls around in your head and you do your best to make it make sense as you walk back to your desk. You can’t understand how the puzzle pieces of “smug asshole” Min Yoongi and “hiding in his office to avoid his own party” Min Yoongi fit together. More importantly, you don’t understand why you care about Min Yoongi at all. If anything, you should be rejoicing in this Min Yoongi-free day– god, you can’t even stop thinking his name, what the hell is wrong with you?

You shake your head in hopes that it might get your brain to calm the fuck down, and as you pull your chair out, you notice a red blinking light on your desk phone, indicating the mailbox is full. When you pick up the receiver and start to play back the messages, your jaw drops.

It is not an exaggeration: every music publication you’ve ever heard of, plus many more that you haven’t, has called within the last 24 hours, all with the same agenda— to schedule an interview with the Grammy-nominated producer Suga. You groan internally as you play back dozens of messages in a row from eager reporters, all of whom have left a number to call back. You’d rather rip the phone out of the wall, you think to yourself, but then a much better idea starts to take shape in your head.

No one has technically told you to avoid discussing the Grammy nomination— gossiping in the break room with Jungkook doesn’t count as a legitimate channel for workplace communications.

So it stands to reason that in this situation, you should do what any good admin would do and set up as many interviews as possible. If they just so happen to be for a producer who hates meetings, and apparently hates recognition of his successes… Well, how were you to know that?

You practice your innocent smile, keeping the receiver pressed to your ear with your shoulder as you navigate to Yoongi’s calendar and start scheduling.

~*~

“Drink up, bitch!”

Hours later, you lock your arm through Jimin’s as you each throw back another shot, far from the first of the night. You lost count somewhere after four. He immediately scrunches up his face and shakes his head, trying not to gag, but you’ve had enough that yours goes down like water.

“Amateur,” you giggle, bopping your head to the thudding beat of the music as Jimin grabs the lime from the rim of your last drink and pulls it into his mouth for some relief.

It takes you a minute to differentiate the buzz against your hip from the all-encompassing pulse of the music, but when they eventually end up on different tempos, you automatically fumble for your purse. Your limbs feel heavy and delayed as you work to dig out your phone, which has inevitably sunk to the very bottom of your bag.

You’re definitely well past tipsy and hurtling pleasantly towards drunk, which is why you don’t even think to check the name on your screen before you slide to accept the call.

“Hello?” You instantly realize that trying to take a phone call in a club is not one of your better ideas.

“Hang on,” you tell whoever’s on the other end. “It’s loud. Hang on. Shit.” You stumble away from your table, waving over your shoulder to Jimin and hoping he can telepathically understand that you’ll be right back. At first you head for the restroom, but halfway there it starts to seem like a bad idea, so you swing in a circle, immediately colliding with the person behind you. Profusely apologizing, you head for the back of the building, trying not to smack into anyone else.

There’s a door that leads outside to the patio, where a few groups of people stand in semi-circles, smoking or vaping or just getting some air. You continue walking unsteadily along the side of the building until the bass-boosted speakers are reduced to a dull thud, and then you hear someone calling your name on the phone in your hand.

Oh, yeah. You’d forgotten the purpose of going out here in the first place. You press the phone back up to your ear, wobbling in place in your heels.

“Are you there?” The voice nearly yells, and you wince.

“Hiiiiii,” you start, and then immediately have to choke back a laugh because wow, you’re more fucked up than you realized. The combination of walking and talking has provided you with a solid reality check. “Um, who is this?”

There’s a pause on the other end, long enough that you’re about to pull your phone away and make sure the call didn’t drop, but then an uncomfortably familiar voice speaks. “I thought you had me saved. As a very colorful name, if I remember right.”

You blink, trying to focus your mind enough to process the words. That voice… The name swims back to you. “Prod Asshole?”

“Hi,” Yoongi says flatly. “You know I have you saved as Admin Bitch?”

Oh, fuck. You let out an accidental whine, kicking your head back so far you smack it against the wall of the building. You do not want to talk to Min Yoongi– ever, really, but especially not right now.

“You’re the fucking bitch,” you retort. Any semblance of professionalism has disappeared somewhere in the many rounds of drinks you’ve thrown back over the evening.

“Sure,” he says, sounding unfazed. “I need to get into the studio.”

You turn your head to press your cheek against the brick wall, keeping your phone tight to your other ear. “Yoongi, it’s Friday night.”

“I’m aware,” he says dryly, and you can see the stupid fucking smirk on his face when you close your eyes. “You’ve clearly been celebrating. You know it happens every week, right? No need to get alcohol poisoning about it.”

“Fuck off,” you groan into the wall.

“Where are you? I’ll send an Uber. I just need a couple hours.”

Hours? Now he’s pissing you the fuck off. You pull your face off the wall, pivoting to lean up against it instead, and nearly eat shit when your ankle rolls. Stupid high heels. You manage to right yourself and realize Yoongi is waiting for an answer.

“Why should I do literally anything for you?” You start, indignant. “You’re just a fucking… smug bastard asshole.” Ugh, not your best work. You really are drunk. You press the hand that isn’t holding your phone up to your forehead, as if that might make your brain work better.

“You’re not wrong,” Yoongi says. “But I finally figured out what my project is missing, and you already blew me off once this week.”

“I don’t caaaaaare.”

“Well, you probably should.” He pauses, almost definitely trying to be dramatic, and you hiccup. “You see,” he continues, “I found something today.”

Are you gonna puke? No, you’re not gonna puke. You’re strong. You’re fine.

“You there?”

What you are is fucking sick of this asshole. Why is he still talking? “What, Yoongi?”

“Remember those expenses you had to reconcile?” He asks, and you really don’t. You squint, trying to recall, but he just keeps going. “I was looking back on my financials for the quarter so I pulled them up in the system and…” He pauses and you swear you hear him laugh softly. “Well, it’s kind of funny. The charge codes are all wrong. Literally all of them.”

Is he enjoying this? You think he might be enjoying this.

He’s still going. “Which, of course, everyone makes mistakes, but I mean… They aren’t even close, really. Certainly not the thing someone with years of experience would fuck up. It would be pretty questionable, if I was upper management. How could an experienced admin assistant make such a rookie mistake?”

You groan, leaning forward slightly. You actually might puke.

“Of course, I fixed them.”

At this, you snap your head up. “You what?”

“I mean, they are fixed. Right here, on my laptop. All I have to do is hit enter. But...” Your fist involuntarily clenches at the over-acted sigh he lets out. Oh, it would feel so good to kill him. You don’t think you’d even mind the jail time.

“It seems wrong, you know? I think I need to be in the studio to do it. Work-life balance, right?” Yoongi gives a small, self-satisfied chuckle, and now you know he’s enjoying this. “It’s just unfortunate, since that report’s gonna auto-generate tomorrow morning. By the time you or I get in on Monday, the boss will already have it on his desk. All those very, very wrong codes. It’s such a shame, really. If only someone could do something.”

A thrum of actual panic runs through you; you’re not quite so drunk that you’re immune to the very real threat of losing your job. You smack one heel backwards against the brick wall, helpless to do anything else. “I fucking hate you.”

“That’s fine. I just need your location.”

Yanking the phone away from your ear, you slam the button to end the call and shoot him a quick text with the club’s name before you can talk yourself out of it. You’d cry if you weren’t so fucking pissed off, but instead you sling your purse over your shoulder and storm back inside to find Jimin.

“What the fuck happened to you?!” He shouts to be heard over the music, and you roll your eyes and shake your head.

“We don’t have time. I have to go, baby mochi. It’s a stupid fucking asshole work emergency.”

He must be taken aback because he doesn’t even pause to make a joke about the TV show that is your life. “I’ll come with you?”

You scrunch your face up at the thought. “Trust me, you don’t want to deal with this. I don’t even want to deal with this, but I’m literally going to get fired if I don’t.” You squish his cheeks between your palms. “Just go. Be wild and free. Remember me and tell my story.” Jimin’s eyes narrow as he laughs between your hands, and you press a kiss to his nose. “I love you. I’ll text you when I get home.”

You do your best to sober up in the car on the ride over, but it’s no small task, and when you reach the company’s floor, Yoongi is waiting for you, leaning up against the glass doors looking impatient and tired.

He raises an eyebrow as you step off the elevator and it’s only a split second, but you see his eyes rake over your body and back up. Fuck. You weren’t exactly sober enough to consider that he’d have to witness you in your clubbing outfit: a black mini dress and sky high heels, much racier than anything you'd wear to the office. Heat creeping up your neck, you dig in your bag for the keys and will yourself not to read into whatever the fuck that look was.

You get the door unlocked and step through, then purposefully let it slam back in his face, because you’re absolutely going to be a petty bitch about this entire thing.

Seemingly unbothered, Yoongi follows you inside and brushes past you. It’s not lost on you that neither of you have said a fucking word to each other. He heads straight for his lab and you hear the door shut a second later.

Nothing else to do, you pull out your desk chair and slump forward, resting your head on your arms with a frustrated groan.

When the world spins back into focus, it takes you a second to remember where you are and the events that led you here. Your head is pounding, your throat dry as sandpaper. You blink blearily at your phone, realizing you must have fallen asleep at your desk, and it takes you almost a full minute to digest the time on your screen. 2:43 AM.

You have approximately one billion texts and voicemails from Jimin, so you quickly shoot back a reply so he knows to call off the search party. Then you drag yourself out of your chair and down the hallway to Yoongi’s lab.

So tired you can barely stand, you slump against the wall next to the door and give a loud bang of a knock. Another minute ticks by with no response.

Maybe he fell asleep too, you reason. You’re staring at the door, trying to mentally force it open, when your eyes glance over the combination lock. Jungkook’s email jumps into your mind; your heart leaps into your throat. God bless that Baby Star Candy.

Quietly and carefully, you lean forward to press the numbers on the number pad in the right order. 0 7 0 5. You close your hand around the handle and feel it turn; the lock gives. You realize you’re holding your breath as you slowly push the door open and step over the threshold.

Yoongi is slumped in his desk chair, headphones on, half turned away from his computer so all you can see is his side profile. For a second, you think he’s sleeping— his head is tipped back, the column of his neck exposed. His eyes are closed, his lips parted slightly, his breathing shallow. But then you see a flash of his tongue working at the corner of his mouth and it suddenly dawns on you that he is very much not asleep.

Your brain processes the rest of the picture in rapid succession. The muscles of his right arm are tensed in a tight grip. The silver jewelry on his wrist catches the light as he motions up and down. His white t-shirt is riding up, and his sweatpants are pushed low enough that you can see the flat plane of his stomach. And then your eyes trace even lower, to where his delicate fingers are wrapped firmly around his completely exposed and fully erect cock.

It is, unfortunately, the most attractive thing you’ve ever seen.

You should leave. You know you should. You are not supposed to be seeing this. But you’re still more than a little drunk, and Yoongi’s dick is pale and long and unfairly pretty. Precum leaks from the tip and he slows his pace just slightly, using his thumb to rub the wetness over the head of his dick. He gives a hoarse groan at the feeling and the sound thrums though you.

Your imagination takes off running before you can tell it not to. You wonder what it would feel like to replace the hand on his cock with your own. What other noises you might elicit from him if you were to tease your tongue up his shaft and then swallow him down.

His eyelashes flutter and you take a step back, bumping into the half-open door behind you and grabbing it to steady yourself. The movement is enough to make Yoongi open his eyes. When his gaze locks with yours, his pupils are blown black with lust. You swallow hard, and you see a flicker of recognition in his face as he processes that you’re in the room, too.

The gravity of the situation finally lands. “F-fuck, sorry!” You stutter, then you scramble to push the door open and back out of his lab as fast as you can.

You race to your desk, hands shaking, head reeling, and your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. Your mind instantly jumps to denial: maybe you’re still asleep at your desk. If this is a nightmare, you’d really like to wake up now.

You take a seat and do your best to steady your breathing and calm down. It’s fine, you tell yourself, it was a mistake. Just don’t think about it. Don’t think about Yoongi, or his dick, or his hands, or his mouth, or his tongue– it occurs to you that you’re in way too fucking deep here.

It’s been entire minutes of trying to get your shit together by the time you hear his door open again, but you’re no more composed than you were the second you sprinted down the hallway.

Yoongi is, remarkably, even quieter than usual. You drop your gaze when you hear his footsteps approach; there’s absolutely no way you can look at him right now. There’s a pause as he stops in front of your desk, and then after what feels like an eternity, he finally speaks.

“How did you know the code?”

You wince, still staring down at your lap. “Jungkook gave it to me. In case I needed it.”

“That traitor,” Yoongi huffs under his breath. You say nothing.

“Look,” he starts again with a sigh. “I–-obviously you weren’t supposed to see that. It’s just something that helps me, sometimes, to get unstuck. This is embarrassing. I really didn’t mean…”

You think he might actually be about to apologize for once in his life, but then he stops talking. You can feel him studying you, and you try to hide how badly your hands are trembling, how hot your face is, but that only makes both conditions worse.

Yoongi says your name like a question, but you shake your head and keep your gaze lowered. He can clearly tell now that you are completely unable to make eye contact with him. 

“Don’t tell me that was the first dick you’ve ever seen.”

That makes your head snap up. “Shut up. I’ve seen dicks. Plenty.”

Yoongi gets a strange look in his dark eyes and flattens both of his palms on the front of your desk, leaning forward. He looks like he’s debating whether or not he should say something, and then he gives a little shrug. You can’t really blame him for foregoing the filter. You are still drunk, and you just saw his penis.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you liked what you saw.”

Your face drops and you swallow hard. You can’t help it.

His eyes widen. “Oh. Oh, wow. You seriously need to work on your poker face.”

“Shut up,” you hiss.

“This is incredibly useful information.”

“Stop talking, Yoongi.”

He rubs his hands together with a soft laugh. “Huh. Well. In any case, I’m done for tonight. Definitely can’t get back to it now. Would you like a ride home?”

You fix him in the most murderous glare you’re capable of. “I’d rather fucking walk. Barefoot. Through broken glass. In the ninth circle of hell–”

“Point taken. Let me get you another Uber then. It’s the least I can do.”

Your ego jumps to decline, but you have no idea how you’d get home otherwise. You wince at the thought of tonight’s bar tab and your rent bill that’s due tomorrow. You’re really not in the financial position to say no to a free ride.

“Fine.”

Yoongi schedules the car while you gather your things, and you’re almost out the door when your stomach turns and your knees go weak. You nearly twist an ankle in your heels as you scramble backwards towards your desk.

“Wait, wait, shit! The charge codes, Yoongi, the codes. Did you fix them? What time does the report run? Oh my god, I totally forgot. I’m so fucked.”

He watches you with a furrowed brow at first, then recognition lights up his face. “Oh, yes. The codes.”

Yoongi pauses for a moment with that infuriating expression, like he’s holding all the cards and trying to figure out how much he should tell you, then he slowly walks towards your desk to close the distance between you.

“Ahh, you’ve had a hard enough night, I won’t keep it going. I lied to you.”

“You what?” Your mouth goes dry.

“Your codes were perfect. Exceptional, really, especially for a first-timer.” He claps you on the back once and your stomach turns. “You’re a natural. Keep it up!”

There’s a rush of something in the back of your throat, and for a moment, you think you might be about to literally murder him. It’s only when you open your mouth that you realize what’s actually happening, and by then there’s no time to give a warning or do anything at all.

Helpless to stop it, you lean forward and puke your guts up all over his pristine sneakers.

A/N: just in case you want to suffer a little more, the song that gets me in yoongi's head at the end of this scene (and moving forward bc you KNOW he's about to ruin this poor girl's life sdklfjlsdkf) is fan behavior by isaac dunbar. so feel free to queue that one up and enjoy ;)

chapter two | masterlist | chapter four

[childotkw]

1. Consuming Shadows (of course, I love all of them)

2. CS chapter 52 and 53🤭

3. Harry

4. Harry/Tom|Voldemort

5. Gold Dust (and I must put ILYWT in here  even though it isn't a fic yet)

6. Kinda weird, but for CS it's when Hadrian and Riddle are sitting in Riddle's office, completely in peace (before they both go full dumbass mode). That scene probably got to me because CS started with Hadrian being Lily's puppet, his desire for revenge going strong to him now sitting besides Riddle, hoping that he'll ask him to stay in Britain.

7. The first chapter of bloodied hands & and velvet sheets, knowing what will happen next.

8. What's there not to like? But if I've to choose, I'll pick plot and characterization.

9. Literally all of them. I can't wait to see more of Regulus and Harry, what will Grindelwald do now that he knows that Harry is the Master of Death in ybtm, the third task in CS etc.

10. Barty and Harry, Regulus and Riddle, Regulus and Harry - never thought about those ship, had my eyes only for Harry and Riddle. I love them all now.

11. ILYWT!!! Also, some cross overs between your fics. It'd be so much fun to see how each of them react to different versions of themselves.

12. CS, ybtm, TLWD(BTPS), Reckless Hearts...just all of them basically.

13. Unfortunatelly no because I don't know anyone who even reads fics, let alone ship Tom and Harry🥲

14. TLWD(BTPS) - I can't wait for more☺

15. How long did it take you between the first time you got an idea for a fic and posting the first chapter (for each of them)?

Ask list 1. My favorite fic of yours 2. My favorite chapter in my favourite fic of yours 3. The best character you’ve written for 4. The best ship you’ve written for 5. A fic I haven't read yet from you, but I want to 6. Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics 7. What made me the most emotional after reading 8. What I like the most about your writing 9. A fic i'm excited for you updating / posting 10. A character/ship I didn't enjoy/think about as much before you wrote about them 11. Something I wish / hope you write 12. A fic of yours that i've re-read 13. If i've ever shared / talked about your fic to someone else 14. A fic I didn't expect to like so much 15. A question I have about one of your fics

Darling, I went feral reading through this omg! You answered all of them 😍😍😍😍😍

CS reigns supreme here I see hahaha - it's brilliant!

Gosh I haven't thought about Gold Dust in aaggeess but I have such a soft spot for that story! I really need to go back and finish the next chapter.

Ooooh though I love that that is the 'vivid' scene for CS! It's such a subtle one, but you're right in that it has so much meaning. Their relationship has progressed so much - and then, as you say, they both turn into dumbasses 😂

BH&VS chapter 2 will be finished - I swear. It sounds mean but I gotta get Luna. I have to. I want people cry. And I'm blushing over the characterisation and ships bit. Having people unexpectedly like a story with a character/ship/plot they had never thought about before is delightful!

ILYWT is high on my list to be written, and maybe I'll dabble in oneshots for some of my crossovers. I kinda wanna see Hadrian and Ciro!Harry interact, ngl.

As for your question, from initial idea to first chapter:

CS: week/two weeks

ybtm: about a month

TLWD(BTPS): couple of months, it started as a tumblr post

BH&VS: about six months, it started as a tumblr post and I wanted to get the first chapter out for skitty's birthday

I can't really remember for the other stories, to be honest? On average I'd say it'd be maybe two weeks - month to form an idea, start planning it out, then writing, then posting.

Thanks for sending this in! It was wonderful to read 😘😘

[yostresswritinggirl]

100 Followers Special

(And how to participate) you don't need to be a follower to vote ack

~yostresswritinggirl

Hello AGAIN, with your back to back followers special! Exiled here, very tired, as I just closed the requests box for our 50 followers special. I asked for some recommendations and no one helped me so this is what I came up with!

Granted, it's nothing that special, I literally just dumped my notes into this so—

Please make sure to follow the guidelines and read this thoroughly to properly participate!

1. You will be given a long list of fic prompts specific to a character that I've come up with for weeks on end, please don't steal, as I will remove them after this event is done!

2. Voting! You now have the power to influence my writing schedule haha- what you need to do: is to pick three prompts from the list and send it to me; either through reblog tag, a reply, or in my ask box (not anon so we can count fairly, will not publish these answers tho so worry not)! Not in messages tho! It should be in this format:

1. Character - prompt or prompt title

2. Character - prompt or prompt title

3. Character - prompt or prompt title

example:

1. Albedo - Citrinitas

2. Zhongli - Braid

3. Xingqui - Author!Reader

The top three most voted prompt and character will be the next fics I'll publish after I'm done with the current reqs. Speaking of: Voting ends when I finish the current reqs. You'll know it's done once the counter in my blog desc reaches 12/12.

3. In addition to the three prompts, you also get to add your own prompt to it! My prompts list does not include ALL the characters that's why I wanted to give you this option too! Add a fourth number and specify a character, a prompt/idea, and the format of the fic! Format it this way:

4. Character - Prompt/Idea (Format)

4. Kaeya - What's under that eyepatch? (Scenario)

After I pooled the answers, I'll randomly pick between the bonus answers and write them last! So give it your best shot!

4. Tags-list! I thought this would be necessary for this kind of a whim special, so if you wanna be tagged, just put Tag Me! at the end of your vote. Please make sure that you're actually able to be tagged because I just tried and some users are not in my orbit huhu, look here

5. If a pocket watch/series prompt gets chosen, I will only post the first chapter, not the whole damn fic pls. Have mercy,,,

I will post a counter of the top three in my blog description and will be updated as frequently as possible. Any questions, please direct to this post or my dms <3

Without further ado, here is your choice list!

Xingqui - "My liege, would you care to accompany me on my reading break? I've picked up a romance novel and it reminded me of us."

-> Author!Reader: You met Xingqui at Wanwen Bookhouse when delivering a batch of your newly-published book. But as a ghost writer, no one knew it was you that authored such books. Safe to say it was cute watching the noble bookworm fanboy about you in front of you. [FLUFF] [FIC]

-> Headcanons with a reader older than Xingqui who's a close family friend of the Feiyun Commerce Guild. Fascinated after meeting you in a party, the noble boy aspires to become the best man for you despite the difference, promising to be the best suitable partner for you in the future. [FLUFF] [HEADCANON SCENARIO]

Childe - "Hey there, comrade! What a coincidence that we had a break at the same time, care to accompany me for a walk? I promise I won’t lead you to a fight haha... hey, don’t look at me like that!”

-> Antinomy -  The 10th Harbinger (You) and the little shit they had to mentor (Childe), this fic enumerates the trials of the 11th before he became a Harbinger under your care. From strangers to mentor to friends to love- Childe made a grave mistake, now you’re once again strangers. [FLANGST] [ONESHOT]

Albedo - "Ah, it's you. I've heard of fleeting rumors that you've been pestering a certain someone just to see me. Next time, just come directly to me, I wouldn't mind the assertiveness."

-> Refer to these three as well: Albedo Fic Ideas [FLUFF/FLANGST/FLANGST] [ONESHOT/ONESHOT/SERIES]

-> “You’re Enough”: A year into being the new Chief Alchemist of Mond, Albedo finds himself holed up in his room in the dead of night, haunted as he continuously comes out empty on his research to bring his master back, feeling inadequate. So you reminded him of what he’s capable of. [FLUFF?] [ONESHOT INSPIRED BY You Are Enough - Sleeping At Last]

-> Under the Artificial Sky: Michaelangelo Scenario focused on Albedo’s sketching aspect. Grand Master Varka and Acting Grand Master Jean figured Albedo needed a break and a change of scenery, and sent him off under the guise of a commission in Liyue. What he didn’t expect was another artist from Fontaine accompanying him in this big project.(Albedo and Reader are tasked to paint the new Jade Chamber within 7 days) [FLUFF] [SERIES - 7 CHAPTERS]

-> Albedo SMUT: I had this idea while laying wide awake at 3 AM. The alchemist had been trying all remedies to shake off the stress and fatigue in his system and they all seemed to fail, no amount of sketching or discoveries can pull him away from it. So when you offered a solution he hasn’t heard, he’d jump at it immediately. “You know, some people say having intercourse with someone is a good stress-reliever.” “Intercourse? If it’s true, then please, I wish to have intercourse with you.” “Wha- wait Albedo, do you not know what that is? It’s only done between lovers!” “Convenient, I love you, anything else?” (Two virgin dumbasses do the thing to relieve stress) [SMUT] [ONESHOT]

Xiao - “I’ve taken care of every threat around this area, you can relax now, I made sure of that.”

-> What is it with you and Qingxin flowers? The Traveler had once heard of Xiao’s affinity for Qingxin flowers, and they’re flying companion boldly asked this lingering question to the adepti himself. His pupils dilate and sharpen before Paimon could finish her sentence. (An origin story about his favorite flower, and his favorite person) [SLIGHT FLANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> Just how harmful is adeptal energy to normal humans? You both found out in the worst way possible: silently, deadly. (Slight spoiler: you fucking die) [ANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> Nightmares Taste Horrible: He’s seen that look in your eyes and the ancient soul within it; you’ve lived long ago, and the only thing your soul carried now was the nightmares of a macabre timeline. Was it him or was it demons that brought you that fear? No matter, he’ll protect you even from yourself. (eating the nightmare of a dead soul reincarnated to you) [FLANGST?] [ONESHOT]

-> Go for the throat: The seal that marked you had made it all too late for him to remedy. Bleeding eyes, growing fangs, it’s just another demon to vanquish just like he’s done for centuries. What makes it different was it was sealed in you. (Inspired from Melanie Martinez’s song uhu) [ANGST] [ONESHOT]

Zhongli - “Mortals are capable creatures that evolve and adapt for means of survival, but they advance in ways that changes the world around them. This retirement, may be harder to me than it is to them.”

 -> “In human history, there’s a certain noble and powerful connotation to rulers who braid their hair.” Convince to braid his hair using some historical braid trivia; that long hair behind his back should not be ignored for any longer. [PURE FLUFF] [DRABBLE]

-> History has its eyes on you: A traveling theatre hailing from the land of entertainment finds its way to Liyue for their last caravan. A certain Geo Vision man seems to resonate with your newest script: fighting and protecting your land, building up its nation, before being forced to let go of it. He resonates maybe a little too much. (Musical!Reader with heavy references to Hamilton hehe) [FLUFF] [ONESHOT]

Venti - "Can you hear the symphonies of the wind as it sings to you? That's me, guiding you and protecting you! Whenever you hear it, know that you're safe and sound under my protection!"

-> the one the bard once loved: like actual bard, you are the archer or smth, loved by Venti and Barbatos. Yandere!Barbatos undertones, very unhealthy relationship. This hurts the kokoro. [PURE ANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> The Caravan: (related to the Zhongli and Musical!Reader up there) Your caravan stops at Mondstadt for a whole week before it reaches its final destination. This new fanfare pulled in a peculiar bard who now wants to tag along for the fun of it. "I have no more responsibilities in this free land!" Just what kind of responsibilities does a broke bard have in the first place? [FLUFF] [ONESHOT/HEADCANON]

Diluc - "You look weary, and you still managed to pull yourself here. Here, a fresh and cold glass, on the house. A relieved smile should be enough payment."

-> Abandoned by The Altar: A timeline oriented story focused on your once perfect childhood relationship as Diluc's bride to be, soon becoming estranged after the death of his father and his neglect. You only wish now that he looks at you the same way he did when you heard you were supposed to be together forever when you were young. [FLANFF] (The ending gets better pls; Inspired by Still Into You - Paramore) [ONESHOT]

-> There are No Laws Against Homelessness in Mondstadt: My favorite title out of all of this ahahhaa- who says adventurers can't be broke? You're the living embodiment of that. (Good boi Diluc with a broke ass reader) [FLUFF] (Warning: homelessness) [ONESHOT]

Scaramouche - "Let's go already, the sun is setting and we're nowhere near our destination. If you wanted to linger just to spend more time with me, I would have indulged you behind closed doors anyways."

-> Scaramouche Finally Does the Fandango: Have you ever wondered how Scaramouche is like working with other people? His first assignment was to accompany you in your main region and he sees you in your natural habitat, entranced. [I dunno how to tag this, NORMAL?] [ONESHOT/SHORT]

-> Skincare bitch, how I headcanon Scaramouche as someone actually conscious and always tending to their skin. Look at that smooth skin, cute cheeks, let me pinch, eyeliner glory— In which case, that hat has more purpose than being a frisbee. (May or may not include reader. (based from a reblog convo with chels-void) [GOOD VIBES] [HEADCANONS]

-> Once Supreme: Before Scaramouche, there was someone else higher than him. Before Balladeer there was just a young man fighting for his beliefs and her Majesty. Before Mondstadt, his smile wasn't just for deception. "Someday, someone would take advantage of that smile, Scaramouche. It's not appropriate in this work environment." The day you break a man. (Harbinger!Reader again, and lots of HCs for Scaramouche, same format as Antinomy) [I also do not know how to call this, eventual ANGST] [ONESHOT]

Kaeya - "What are you doing out here in the dead of night? Citizens like you should be cozied up in bed and leaving the patrols to us Knights. Come, I'll accompany you back home."

-> Honey Whiskey: A mysterious band of dancers from Sumeru visits Mondstadt and its taverns to offer a night of alluring dances. What was supposed to be a night of drinking for Kaeya and his troops ended up becoming a tipsy surprise mission when the main dancer steps down from the stage— and ignores him?! How scandalous! (Slightly suggestive themes/You're a bad guy) [COOL?] [ONESHOT] [slightly inspired by song with the same name]

General:

-> A Musical!Reader but with a scenario with every other character, most probably headcanons master post.

-> Genshin Food prompts: From that one post, I ended up making a whole storyline of oneshots related to their special dishes. Oneshots connected to a bigger picture. By impulse you've ended up leaving your normal life behind to pursue your cooking career, starting from Mondstadt, to learn all the cuisines to establish the first ever international restaurant. With the implications of magic and peculiar customers, your simple dream turns into a harder goal. [GOOD SHIT] [SERIES] [CANON-COMPLIANT]

-> God of Time!Reader that hails from Fontaine. Do you wish to know more about their origins and their purpose in this world? [CANON-COMPLIANT] [HEADCANONS] (General since it deals with all the characters/interactions)

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Tagslist-for-my-thirsty-homies:

[thevampiresiren]

Helping Yoongi Shave

Word Count: 2.5K

Genre: Fluff, Humor

WARNINGS: Soft!Yoongi, Tooth Aching Fluff, Cursing, Slight Suggestive Themes (nothing major, just some suggestive flirting and a little talk of sex. Yoongi also puts his hands on the reader's butt)

Summary: Yoongi needs to shave, but he's too tired to do it himself. So he teaches you how to shave him.

A/n: So… This is the very first Fanfic that I wrote and I’m not going to lie; I was a very nervous about posting it until one of my friends read it for me and loved it. I’m not sure if I’ll be doing this stuff as a part of my blog ALL the time, but if I can think of anything and if it comes out good; I’ll definitely post it.  Also I just REALLY wanted to do a Yoongi shaving fanfic because I think helping your significant other shave is SO intimate and involves a lot of trust. I hope you guys like it!

I was passed out on the couch in the living room when I woke up to the sound of keys jingling outside the apartment door. As Holly got up from laying next to my feet, I picked up my phone and saw that it was around 1:30 am. As the door opened, I heard the brown toy poodle bark happily while he was spanning around in a circle while footsteps stopped to where he was. "Shhh, Holly. You're gonna wake Mom up." My boyfriend whispered petting the fluffy canine.

"Too late, she's awake." I yawned while stretching with a smile on my face. Yoongi looked up from petting Holly.

"I'm sorry, Jagiya. I thought you were in bed." Yoongi said while taking his shoes off, setting his work bag down, and walking over to me. I smiled as he tilted my chin up to gently peck my lips. When he pulled away, he laughed loudly. "What?" I asked.

"Nice bed head, babe". He said smirking while nodding at me. I ran my my finger through hair and sighed. "Hey, don't be upset. It's cute." He said standing up and kissing my check. I felt a slight roughness on my skin once he made contact. I look at his upper lip and chin, smirking.

"Nice stubble, babe." I copied. He touched his face and groaned. "Don't be upset. Its cute." I mocked. Yoongi smiled.

"I'm gonna go get changed. I'm too tired to shave tonight." He said yawning while walking to our bedroom. Holly and I followed not far behind and he laid down in his little bed starting to doze off again knowing his dad was home. I walked in and saw that Yoongi had put his glasses on and changed into his black sweatpants that hung loosly on his hips and was topless. He was by no means the buffest man in world, nor did he have majorly defined abs; but he was toned enough that you could see his pecs, and when the light hit right at the correct angel; his faint abs from him most recently working out would show up. He was perfect. His arm muscles slightly moved as he threw his clothes into hamper. I was too busy admiring him before he broke me from trance. "You okay over there? If I didn't know any better I'd get the feeling you're checking me out." He said with a cocky smirk. I smiled and pushed myself off the door frame I was leaning on.

"Nah, I think your hideous and by no means attractive. And you do it to me all the time." I said jokingly.

"Your loud noises from me pinning you down two nights ago and those dark marks say otherwise, baby girl". He said smirking. I blushed while trying to cover the "love marks" on my neck and where my shoulders met.

"Shut up and let me enjoy my hot boyfriend's body when we aren't fucking." I said laughing. Yoongi let out chuckle before he went off to the master bathroom to brush his teeth. I changed out of my day clothes into nothing but his white Fear of God shirt that hit my mid thighs and put my hair in a high ponytail.

"Aish! Its so fucking bad" Yoongi groaned loudly. I looked in and saw him examining his facial hair, clearly upset with how fast it was growing. "Yoon, just shave it tomorrow before you go to work. You need sleep." I said walking over to him. I knew he was beyong exhausted by how irritated he sounded and by the slight bags under his eyes. It was comeback season and I knew he was over working himself a bit. He was eating healthy and was taking care of himself like he has been, but I still worried about him. "I can't, we have an interview in the morning and we have dance practice. Plus, I need to finish up a song in the home studio once I wake up." He said leaning his head against the mirror pouting; his raven bangs falling and covering his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his bare torso and leaned my cheek on his broad shoulder making him shiver at the contact. "What if I do it for you?" I said quietly.

"My work?"

"No, dumbass." I said pulling away laughing while he turned around. "I mean shave your face." I said poking his chubby cheeks and kissing his pout.

"You sure you're not to tired to do that for me?"

"I wouldn't be offering if I was."

"Yes you would, because I'd do it too for you."

"I've already gotten at least 4 hours of sleep. You've been up since 6 am. I have more energy and I don't want you stressing out over it. Let me do it, baby. Let me take care of you." I said seriously.

"God, I can't wait to make you my wife." He said sighing. I laughed loudly "Who said I would say yes if your proposed?".

"We've talked about it and you were weak at the knees when I told you I would give you as many kids as you want and I would find a way to make it work for you, the kids, and music. Plus, you let me take your v-card. You've already said yes based on that like I did." Yoongi said laughing.

I blushed. "Just go get your damn razor and everything else." I said crossing my arms over my chest. Yoongi turned around and opened the medicine cabinet to pull out his shaving cream, aftershave, and the black leather case that he kept his razor in. He set everything in front of the sink and scooted out of the way for me to work. I opened up the case and saw exactly what type of razor it was. Anxiety shivered through my body as I pulled the razor out carefully. I just came to the realization that I had never actually SEEN his razor. He usually was using it on tour or even over at the dorm with the rest of the guys. Whenever he did shave here, it was in the shower.

"Yoongs..."

"Yeah?"

"This is a straight razor...". I said quietly.

"I know. It gets closer to my skin and the shave lasts longer. It works better for me than a normal one.". I carefully opened the blade far away from either of us at the risk of us getting cut. I stared at it and my anxiety just continued to grow. These were dangerous and I'd never used one before.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Yoongi said looking at me concerned while reaching out and gently rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm scared I'm going to pull a Thomas Brown Hewitt and slit your throat while I shave you. I can't afford a lawsuit as big as you." I said casually as I carefully set the razor down after I slowly put the blade back. Yoongi busted out laughing loudly at my comment.

"You'll do fine, Kitten." He said calmly after he collected himself. "I'll show you how to use it on yourself first if that'll make you more comfortable.". I thought for a moment and nodded my head agreeing. Yoongi grabbed the shaving cream and turned the water on so it was hot but not scolding. "Fuck." Yoongi said looking down, his deep raspy voice just slightly about a whisper as he just noticed what I was wearing. I smirked at him with a face that said "really?" .

"Sorry, you just look really fucking cute." He said blushing. Yoongi showed me how to put the cream on my legs which was no different than I normally do. He then grabbed the razor, instructing me to put my hand where his was. He lightly wrapped his large hand around my wrist, and started.

"Okay, so the trick is to go with the grain of hair; never against it. It can cause bumps and ingrown hairs. Also keep your hand at a 30-degree angle. Anything more will cut yourself. Make sure the skin is always taught as well. And go slow and gentle. Like this.". Yoongi began helping me shave where my ankle was and guiding me with the right amount of pressure. After a few more strokes of him helping me, I had enough confidence to do it on my own. It wasn't as hard or scary as I thought. After 20 minutes, I had both of my legs shaved and set the blade down on the sink. I ran my hands down my legs and noticed how smoother my legs were. I had no cuts, bumps, or anything like I normally would. "I DID IT YOONGI! I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF!". I yelled extremely happy that I didn't have to go to the ER, wrapping my arms around Yoongi's neck . He laughed at how excited I was.

"I told you that you could do it. Are you ready to try it on me now?" He said picking the blade back up. I smiled and told him to sit down on the counter of the bathroom sink. Once he was sat down and his glasses were off, I put the water on and shaving cream on his face. Just when I had turned to grab the razor; I felt a large warm hand on my wrist. "Um.. wait a second."

While I went to look over at Yoongi; I felt a soft, light, pressure on my left cheek followed by a muffled sound. I looked between my face and part of my hair covered in white, to Yoongi's right hand also covered in white and the right side of his face showing his skin underneath. It took me a second to get over my shock before I began processing what had just happened. "MIN YOONGI." I yelled, waking Holly up, making him barm from the disturbance of his sleep before going back to bed. Yoongi busted out in a full-on laugh attack causing him to almost fall off the sink before catching himself. As I washed the shaving cream off of me, I looked annoyed but also amused at him being playful. "I want a divorce already." I said laughing with him. Once we both settled down and Yoongi had his face covered in shaving cream again; I grabbed the razor and was about to start shaving him when my anxiety started getting the better of my again. Yoongi sensed my anxiety sparking and grabbed my hand that wasn't holding the razor.

"Hey." Yoongi said while he looked up at me lovingly, running his long fingers over mine soothingly. "I trust you okay. I know you won't hurt me." He said before kissing my knuckles, careful not to get the shaving cream on my hand. I nodded smiling and slowly started shaving him. Several minutes in shaving him, while I was concentrating, I felt Yoongi's hands reach behind me to my upper thighs, pulling me closer. He gently started rubbing soothing circles on them and messaging my ass.

"Keep it PG, Min. I have weapon and I'm not afraid to use it." I said jokingly making him chuckle.

"You know what you in my clothes do to me." He said with a tired smirk. His dark lashes hit his cheekbones as he relaxed under my touch. I smiled at a how serene he looked, and it took everything in me not to kiss him. Once I was done, I rubbed my nose against his causing him to open one eye and smile. I grabbed the washcloth and gently cleaned whatever was left of his shaving gel. I grabbed his Invictus aftershave and put some on his face.

"Okay, I'm think done." I said proud of myself. Yoongi put his glasses back on and grabbed the handheld mirror I had held out to him and examined his face closely. A huge smile hit his lips and he wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and pulled me to his broad chest. "You did amazing Jagi. Thank you." He said as he muzzled his face into my neck.

"You're welcome, Yoons." I said tiredly as I ran my fingers through his soft locks, laying my head on top of his. The faint smell of his aftershave along with the smell of him in general hitting my nose made me feel tired as I gently messaged his head. Yoongi hummed quietly into my neck before placing chaste lazy kissing to my neck, chest, below my ear lobe, cheeks, temple, nose, and finally my lips.

"I love soft, cuddly Yoongi." I said giggling. Yoongi looked at me with a soft smile, our noses touching.

"I thought you loved rough, dominate Yoongi?" He said rubbing our noses together.

"Ehh, I like all sides. I'm an easy woman to please." I said looking at him smiling before telling him it was time for us to go to bed. He yawned while nodding and we headed to our bed, setting his glasses down on the nightstand. He pulled me close, so my head was laying on his chest and placed his hand on the side of my face. Our centimeters away from each other he smiled and looked into my eyes with his full of love, care, warmth, and passion. "I love you so much, Jagi." He said tired while stroking my cheek bone. I leaned it connected my lips to his in a sweet but passionate kiss. We both pulled away with giant smiles on our faces. I responded looking tiredly into his eyes. "I love you too, Yoongi.". I layed my head on my pillow, my face buried in his neck breathing in his scent while he buried his in my hair, arms wrapped tightly around me. "I can't believe you smashed me in the face with shaving cream." I said quietly.

"That's what you get for staring at me and then parading around our bedroom in my shirt and your lace panties you brat.". He responded letting out and airy chuckle. I smiled before closing my eyes and falling asleep to his light breathing.

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[astraeass]

[1] start once again;

[cross-posted in ao3 • fem reader]

pairing: levi ackerman/reader (first three chapters doesn’t have Levi at all tho..)

warnings: cursing, talks about adoption, panic attack, dissociative amnesia

words: 2145

Summary:

you just wanted to know the truth, so why not be a reckless dumbass and join the scouts

"I’m joining the survey corps"

Laria froze, she couldn’t believe what her sweet, little girl was saying.

Wait, she’s not her sweet little girl anymore.

"What..?"

"You heard me Laria, I’m pretty sure you know what does that means, right?"

"[Y/N] please you can't do this to me... you can’t do this to David!"

"Or what..?"

You know this is cruel, you totally know, but your current desire to go outside the walls and see what the fuck is happening dominated your thoughts.

Laria fell to her knees, staring at the floor, apparently the old wood texture was more interesting for her than what you wanted to say.

With a deep sigh, you kneeled before her, holding her shoulders softly, when noticing your presence, Laria almost instantly grabbed yours in an opposite manner, with a tight and aggressive hold.

"[Y/N]... please don’t do this, tha-that’s suicide!"

You looked at her pale green orbs with intensity, sending her a sign that no matter what, your choice will not change that easily

"If you want me to stay, I just want to know from where I actually am, tell me Laria"

The older woman flinched, it was such a foreign sensation to hear her name coming from her daughter.

Silence.

"I..."

Laria looked down her palms closing and opening with hesitation.

"I don’t know"

You rolled your eyes standing up, you couldn’t take more of this bullshit.

Laria without your hands supporting her shoulders, fell down. Tears falling down her cheeks and meeting the creaking floor no long after.

"You are telling me you adopted me without knowing where the fuck I am from?"

The only sound you could hear were Laria's sobs, you know she’s trying to control them, but she can’t hold them a second more.

"You know I’m not from inside the walls...?"

More silence.

You don’t really know what’s going on in Laria's mind right know, her face was hiding in the floor, it was impossible to see the expression of shock in her usual calm features

"What...?”

Her voice was cracking again, that sent a pang to your heart. After all, she and her husband David were the ones who raised you.

But, you will move on.

You need to move on.

"I want to know from where I am, that’s why I’m joining the survey corps. I’ll go outside the walls"

Your turned away from her, slowly walking to the door you recently came from, without looking back, because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to continue forward if you see her pained expression again.

24 hours before;

It was another normal day, you were going to the market, David, your father, needed some fresh tomatoes for the plate he was cooking today. Even thought your butlers could go out and buy them for him, you insisted enough, just like always.

"You started being a really stubborn girl since you came to the world, [Y/N]" Said David with a smirk in his face when you managed to convince him. This time was harder, it was like he was scared about me going outside, it was... strange.

You loved going outside.

The chattering from people doing their chores, the sun's bright light and slight breeze softly caressing your skin brought you to a state of comfort that made you unconsciously smile.

After a short walk, you reached your destination, a small stand that sold fresh ingredients, most of them vegetables. You weren’t fond of their taste at all, but the smell was added to your list of comfort ambience.

"Hey [Y/N]! You’re doing the shopping today again?"

You nodded to the old woman, she was already used to your presence and usual shopping. You maybe were outside way too much

"Yes, Miss Anderson! However this time was harder to convince my father, I think it’s because I’m getting older"

After grabbing the necessary quantity David asked for and payed for it, you followed the way to go to home, this time you went faster, an uneasy feeling wandered you for a strange reason, making you want to go home as fast as possible.

However, a familiar voice made you stop in your tracks.

"Claire wait a minute!"

You turned around when you heard your last name and meet big bright blue eyes, a tall form with broad shoulders. He was person of your age and apparently he was panting a little, it seemed that he ran for you to catch you before you decided to go home.

Erwin Smith, the golden boy in your class.

You didn’t know a lot from him, you just knew that his father died when he was younger coincidentally after he spread some rumors about what’s outside the walls, oh and that he was a little bit older than you.

Not that you care anyways.

"Erwin, what do you need?"

After gaining some air after running for you, he handed you a little bag with some money that you recognized as what David gave you for the tomatoes

"This fell from your pocket and I couldn’t help but notice that I was from you"

"...Thank you"

The both of you stood there, an awkward silence invaded your comfort, and that bothered you a lot. You were a quiet person since you were small, so it was always hard for you to start a conversation but ended up getting used to it.

This was so embarrassing.

"I can walk you to your home, if you want to"

"No"

You didn’t even hesitate and continued with your way back home.

"Thank you again, uh.. I’ll get going"

And with that you left, you were close to your house anyways. But a feeling of regret started to eat you up. You hated your boldness.

that’s why you don’t make friends [Y/N]...

However, Erwin didn’t actually move from his spot, he decided to stay there watching your form slowly decrease its size. There was something strange about you.

He was finding it out.

;;

You finally reached home, opening the big doors of you house, don’t caring if your maids scolded you for doing it because it was their job.

"[Y/N] how much times we need to tell you that you don’t need to open the doors?"

Giselle, the head maid told you for the nth time this week with an already annoyed look. It was getting irritating, couldn’t anyone see you were trying to be independent?

You just passed by, Giselle after all wasn’t way too much older than you, her mother worked for your family for a long time, so she just got her title thanks to her, which to you, was an error since she sometimes thought a superiority aura would intimidate you.

At first you thought she was jealous, but why? Your looks? Your sharp but at the same time soft features are beautiful, they contrasted perfectly. Mayhap your intelligence? ...no.

This is ridiculous.

"[Y/N] sweetheart, you’re already home?"

Laria with David at her side interrupted your thoughts, making you jump a little and hoping that they didn’t notice.

David Claire was a tall man, strawberry blond curly and slightly long hair, usually tied up in a low ponytail and his chocolate dark wide shaped eyes complemented his face very well.

Meanwhile Laria Claire has her platinum blond almost white hair trimmed in a bob cut, her light chubby face was cute, but her sharp hazel eyes kind of scared you sometimes, the way her bangs sometimes covered them didn’t help at all.

But you.. you were strange, preciously strange, a girl unique with unique features.

Way too unique.

"Yes, I didn’t need to buy a lot of things"

You approached your kitchen, leaving the bag were you carried the tomatoes besides David, him sending you a sweet thankful smile. When you were bringing your hands to your pockets, you felt a bulge, noticing that it was the little bag that Erwin picked up from were it fell.

"Oh, I almost forgot giving your money back father, where do I leave it?" You asked playing with the bag bouncing it between your hands

David chuckled seeing your cute mannerisms and pointed upstairs. "Just leave it in my office, inside the first drawer if you can, please" He looked at you with pleading eyes.

Huh...?

You nodded, grabbing the money bag before it fell and headed upstairs. Wondering why your father gave you that look, he seemed even desperate for you to place the pouch back. David's office was the last one in the hall, giving you more time to think about what just happened.

Entering the room, you expect something coming out for you. How dumb. Slowly, you went to the desk and opened the first drawer, inside a paper with your name and another last name.

[Y/N] [L/N]

[L/N]...? What.

The money pouch you were holding, fell down because you were holding it tightly, the force increasing the more you read the coins falling everywhere and making a loud noise that probably reached your parents in the kitchen. Shit.

Before picking up and collecting the coins you fell down on your knees, an heavy headache suddenly hitting you.

I’m.. I can’t I’m not an object

Why did they sell me..?

You were lying down the floor of a carriage, the wet and cold wood hugged your soft cheek. The rocky path making your body jump from time to time. Your wrists and ankles were tied tightly, you moved a bit, but it burnt. You also had some type of clothing around your mouth preventing you to scream for help.

The only thing keeping you conscious was the beautiful nature you could see by a hole in the cloth that was hiding your body from the outside world so no one could see that the carriage had a kidnapped girl in the back.

It was beautiful, pink... trees? A large body of water that reflected the mountains and the full bright moon. The mountains had some snow at the top since it was very white. However you couldn’t see a lot more since your vision started to fade.

You suddenly gasped loudly, opening your eyes widely. Your hands were gripping your hair with a strong hold and you barely noticed you were crying after seeing some wet spots in the floor below you. What.. was that?

"[Y/N]"

The voice of your fath- no. The voice of David startled you, making you look up him with a tear stained face. His eyes sending you pity.

You hated that.

You stood up rapidly pushing past him with so much force, that it made him fall on his butt, you were about to help him but as fast as you stood, you face contorted in anger leaving the office to run to your room.

Closing you door behind you and locking it up, you turned your back to your door, supporting yourself on it and carefully sliding till you sat in the floor, bringing your knees to your face and hiding it.

No, you weren’t crying, you were confused, you were angry. Why that memory decided to appear in that exact moment? To much in such a short amount of time.

You expected David or even Laria to come and knock to her door to see if they cared. They didn’t. Was that also part of your illusion? The loved and cared for you... right?

Not that you cared, again.

Next day, after coming for whatever your were doing, probably just spacing out, collecting your thoughts. You confronted Laria, apparently David didn’t tell her about your little panic attack, it was heartbreaking, he wasn’t even there.

The more you walked from your house, the more determined you were to join the scouts. You’ll finally know your origin, it didn’t matter if it was tragic or not, your curiosity apparently won. How sad.

;;

"So yeah... that was pretty much what happened"

You didn’t expect meeting Erwin when joining the training corps, however it didn’t surprise you at all. What really surprised you is his look of amazement in his eyes when telling your story.

The bright look being more noticeable when he was listening to your theory of yourself not being from inside the walls.

"I know Smith, the idea is basically impossible, it could be a dream, y'know those fiction ones" you said after seeing how he kept on silence after some minutes when you told him what happened in your household not long ago.

Nothing.

"Could you say something? This is awkward as fuck"

Erwin pupils widened, he's back to the real world. His expression know shooting you an apologetic smile, making you frown.

"My apologies [L/N], I was in my own mind. I’m sorry all of tha-"

"Don’t pity me, I did it myself"

Next Chapter

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[seventhroses]

🌸 Time to blossom (Part 1)

[MONSTA X]

👩🏻 A/N: Have this in my notes for the longest time. Can’t seems to find the motivation to finish it. So I figured maybe posting the 1st part shall do the trick. Pardon any errors as I didn’t proof read them. (Guess who is our male lead)

HERE GOES! ENJOY! 🥰 (Welcome feedback too!) OH! and scroll down for a surprise 🤭

🌠 Geners: Fluff (for now)

It's now 6:10pm and most of your little kiddos and teachers had already went home. You were assigned to doing the closing shift for this whole month and you have 20 more minutes before you end the day.

You frowned, looking down at your favourite kiddo who is sitting on your lap, nodding, drifting in and out of sleep. Your poor baby boy must be hungry and tired. He has one hand holding on to his half-eaten banana and the other grabbing on to your hand for security.

"Joahn sweetie, let's sleep while we wait for mummy ok?" You ask in your softest voice, turning him to face you for a koala hug. He nodded his head as he hugs you tight. You pat him for a bit to get him comfortable and soon after his hands relaxed, and you can hear him sleeping soundly on your chest.

 Time ticking by and then the school phone rang,

"Hi, is this teacher y/n? I'm Joahn's mummy. Is he ok? I'm so sorry, we're caught up with something urgent and couldn't pick him up. I've got Joahn's uncle to pick him up instead and he is on his way now. I'll send you his details and letter of authorisation in a bit." Joahn's mummy informed you in a rushed, feeling apologetic about the inconvenience.

"Hi, Joahn's mummy. He got tired and fell asleep. Don't worry about it, I'll wait for his uncle to come. Do send his information over soon, as I can't release the child unless authorised." You reminded her before saying goodbye and hang up.

While waiting for Joahn's mummy to send the information over, the long awaited doorbell rang.

'Ding Dong~' 'Ding Dong~'

Carefully standing up, with Joahn still sleeping in your arm, you walked slowly towards the door.

Upon reaching the gate before the glass door, you found yourself coming to face with a charming looking young man, smartly dressed in formal. He was hazily looking into the school while trying to calm down from his panting. When he caught eye with you, he beamed into a wide smile and waved at you, trying to get your attention.  

"Is this Joahn's uncle?" You murmured to yourself as his visual doesn't matched up to what you imagine. You gestured for him to wait outside while you hurried back to check for the update from Joahn's mummy.

There was nothing in the inbox.

This means you can't give Joahn to him even if he is his uncle. Because that's the protocols to take and also for the safety of the child. You picked up the phone to called Joahn's mummy but to no avail, so you have no choice but to head outside and let him know.

You put Joahn down on the reception sofa so you can go out to let his uncle know the situation.

"Hi, you're?" you asked, a little embarrass because you're 98% sure he is Joahn's uncle. They kinda look alike when they smiled, their big grinning smile and the cheek dimples that you find so adorable about. But protocols and safety are the upmost priority, so for that 2% you just got to be sure.

"Hi, I'm Joahn's uncle." He answered, almost whispering as he doesn't want to wake Joahn.

"Oh, hi! Erm… but sorry. I can't hand Joahn over to you as his parent haven't send in the necessary documents."

There was a slight paused.

"Could you give Joahn's parent a call? I tried calling but no one is picking up."

Without much words, he pull out his phone and pressed the screen. After what seems like 10 over missed call,

"Why did you call so many times! Have you pick Joahn up?" You could hear the shouting on the other side of the phone clearly, almost as if they were there physically there.

"No! You dumbass, didn't send in my documents and I’ve called you like a million times! Now it's already 6:40pm, the school was supposed to closed 10mins ago!" He shouted in a whisper. You can't help but smile at the sibling's bickering. It reminds you of you and your siblings.

After a while he hung up the phone and looked at you, apologetic. "Hey teacher…." There was a paused again, as he wasn't sure of your name. " erm..could you check your inbox again? My sister said she sent it just now, but it didn't get through and now it did."

"Oh, ok. It's Teacher y/n, by the way." you smiled at him as you turn to check your inbox.

He is now 100% Joahn's uncle, with authorised pick up and his details sitting in your inbox.

You hurdle Joahn's bag in one hand and scoop him up in your arms as gently as you can and walked towards the glass door.

Passing his uncle the bag, you asked him to sign the authorised letter. You find yourself admiring him. He has a neatly styled brown hair with his fringe falling in front slightly parted, a high nose bridge and a smiley eye that gives off that shy, yet confident look. Don't even know if you make sense but at that instant, he looked up, anyone could tell that you're totally sweep off your feet by him.

"Ahem" He coughed, bring you back to earth. "Here you go. I'm sorry for all this delay, causing you to end work late." He apologised as he passed you the signed letter and carefully carried Joahn over from your arms.

You didn’t notice that little smile on his face when he caught you looking at him.

Joahn fidgeted because of the switched and he peeped open his eye,

He stared at this new warmth for a while "Uncle Kih….." He called out sleepily, as he hugs him tightly and fell back asleep into his arms.

**Layout by yours truly 💕

©️ The photo aren't mine. Credits to it's respective owner. Thank you for the photo!😊

[migleefulmoments]

Once again, ccers have labeled some of their favorite fairytale tropes as indisputable facts.

Cassie: 

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Anonymous asked:  Okay I’m trying to figure out why people believe C/C is a thing. Not saying you are wrong, I just have 0 context to go on and you seem to have an interesting outlook. Would you mind telling me the background to this? Or why people believe D is in the closet? (Also I’m curious why nobody uses their names and instead letters).

Cassie: Nonnie, that’s a tall order. There’s SO much that absolutely indicates M is a beard and CC is most definitely real (not true. There is NOTHING to prove Mia is a beard or that cc is real).  Not the least of which is the absolute adoration on D’s face whenever he looks at or talk about C. (Wait, so your biggest and best evidence is that Darren looks at Chris with love and adoration? That isn’t proof of anything except for your own bias, your Harlequin Romance ideas about love and that you don’t understand what constitutes “proof”).  I’ve never once seen him look at M that way and usually when he is forced to speak about her, he does it in an almost offhand way and I don’t think it’s EVER in a complimentary way (”Ever” was her typo. This statement is not only NOT proof of a relationship but it isn’t even untrue. The cc fandom picks and chooses the evidence that confirms their bias and proves their point. Darren has looked at Mia with love and adoration and has said sweet things to her.  He also married her which trumps all of the goo-goo eyes they imagine he’s given Chris over the years). He’s said she’s a big girl when told people were bullying her, referred to her as a ball and chain (NO he referred o himself as a “ball and chain”), and frankly, he treats her badly (NOT TRUE. If it was true I don’t understand what you guys even like about him.  A man who treats his wife badly is a dick). He’s repeatedly slammed car doors in her face, walks as far ahead of her as he can, (Both of those scenarios were to avoid paparazzi photos of them together. It’s impossible for us to understand what it is like to have people taking our picture and making up stories about us so we can't compare this behavior to our lives.) got in the car for the sham mockery and left her to fend for herself in that monstrosity she called a wedding gown to try and get into the car (Yes, that is what all grooms do.  That is why the bride has attendants), and shook her hand at one of the first big events they attended after they had supposedly been dating for over a year (This is another flat out lie. As I debunked- Mia and Darren were photographed standing together before the red carpet and he introduced her as his girlfriend to another person standing near them. See what I mean they pick and choose to prove their point even if it means lying)   Contrast that with how reverently he speaks about C and how conscious he always seemed to be when they were in public together and there’s no contest (He tells the exact same story every time. Wonder why?)  The love sick puppy with his whole face lit up like a Christmas tree appears whenever C is mentioned (What are you 12? Nobody who is over the age of 12 and mentally sound believes that puppy dog eyes are proof of a relationship).  Paying attention to background moments is important (In other words slow it down, gif it, add music, repeat lies and notice the small stuff while ignoring the big stuff and maybe you can find cc in all the proof that Darren and Mia are happily married. Hear with your eyes because you will never find cc if you don’t). you will never If you need more, I suggest going through some of the bigger CC blogs and reading them.

As to why we use their initials and not their names means it doesn’t appear when their names are searched.

Anonymous asked: Okay more questions! Didn’t M and D start dating before G/lee? During their college years too right? And I assumed it was to avoid it being searched but it it for reasons? Maybe to avoid rude fans that disagree?

Cassie: Nonnie, if you believe the current version they are spinning, they met pre G/lee, as for when they started “dating,” well, it’s changed so many times I’ve lost track. I think the latest is 2011, but I’m not sure. (There are photos o them lying on next to each other one what is clearly a date with Darren’s pre-Blaine haircut so they have been dating since early- to mid-2010)  They tried to say before G/lee, but D blew that outta the water when he said he had never been committed to anything as long as he had G/lee during one of the interviews he did near when it ended (It is not rational to throw away all of the evidence that they dated before Glee- photos, comments from Darren and MIa and from friends in exchange for one offhand comment he gave to a reporter. This is a perfect example of how the fandom uses confirmation bias t  guide their beliefs)   Honestly, if anyone can keep the ever changing timeline in order, they deserve a reward. D sure as hell can’t. (Just because Darren isn’t. sharing dates with the fandom doesn’t mean he doesn’t know. This is a silly analogy Cassie if one of your students used this type of argument, I know you would shut it down)   They went to college in different parts of the country and M is older than D. 

I could give two shits less about fans that disagree. I don’t use their names in case THEY (or D’s collection of dumbasses that make up his team) search things here (Wait, so you hide the names so that if Darren’s team can’t find it but Abby has said many times that Darren reads your blogs daily and his team does as well? They even change their plans based on what you say.  This is confusing Cassie). The “fans” that don’t agree see everything we post, as they incessantly stalk our blogs and respond directly to what we say. I stopped bothering to see what they were saying a LONG time ago. It’s always the same old crap. But hey, hope they enjoy spending all their time writing epic posts about my fandom that get three notes, maybe four (You should DEFINITELY read my blog, it would keep you from making a fool of yourself believing something that is so obviously untrue because you would see could read about how your “proof” is all untrue. I have debunked the majority of the cc lexicon and  provided evidence to back me up) 

Hi is it okay if you could tell me when WS came into C’s life as a person who’s seen more than a friend? Like when and how long before the hand holding crap. I have no motive or am trying to start any fight, I am just really curious.

Cassie: To the best of my knowledge W first appeared with C in December 2011. (Wrong December 2012) The super awkward hand holding was June 2013, on the 12th, if memory serves. (Sure, I will beleive you) The day D was confirming M as the ball and chain. Never forget that France has super strict paparazzi laws to protect celebs. Everything released has to be with approval, unless something has changed. (We have photographic proof that Chris sat on Will’s lab at Naya’s party 12/7/12. We have a pic of Will kissing Chris at Coachella 4/13. The fact that you believe it happened on “confirmation day” is only because that is what Abby repeats but it isn’t true)

Anonymous asked: Thank you for responding to my WS question, so that means the tame bearding started when C said that stuttering thing implying there’s someone on An/dy’s show. Not surprising tbh. Kinda sad CC literally had to hide from like day 1, hope they won’t have to one day.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re exactly correct about when it started with C. He definitely didn’t mean W when he made that comment on AC’s show. It is sad that they’ve had to hide for so long, but I’m hopeful that won’t always be the case. (The Andy Cohen interview was on April 2014. How in the hell Cassie can agree that the “bearding” was tame after that interview when we have Chris on Will’s lap 12/7/12 and a kiss in April 2013 at Coachella. Darren and Mia had been dating for at least 4 years by the time Chris did this interview It’s ridiculous that you can claim that it “definitely wasn't Will” The truth is you have no insight into who Chris was speaking of and all evidence points to Will.  Stop living in your imagination).  

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Whenever i see anything m related…Anon

ajw720 Hi nonnie, I am not posting your ask because i can already see the hate coming my way, but i need to make a comment. M’s job is to beard for D, her job, for which she is compensated well. Part of that job is to hide his sexuality. And as part of it, she is supposed to enhance his public image, it is literally her job to look good on his arm and to not embarrass him. (Abby, you know that you have no proof of this and to surmise that “It is literally Mia’s job to look good on his arm and to not embarrass him” is you once again embellishing your own fabricated stories about a man and woman you know nothing about.  It’s really not healthy for you to be living this deep inside your fantasy.  You are getting too specific Your theory that Mia is simply Darren’s arm candy and nothing more proves that YOU have no idea what a feminism is). 

And frankly, aside from her deluded stans, she does the complete opposite, constantly and all the time. It is not badass to vomit on stage and boast about it.  It is not woke or feminist to have offensive, derogatory, and misogynistic themes and decor at a bar she owns and that D is publicly attached to, I would imagine it is against the CA health code to have naked women gyrating on the bar where they serve drinks. (You would imagine? Come on Abby, you're a lawyer, you know you're full of shit. They weren’t naked and people step on the bar all the time. I have never seen you rage about that. You have no understanding of what “woke’ is or what feminists believe.)    It isn’t cool to wear a boob shirt to a professional event your public partner created that is marketed as family-friendly (Are you scared of boobs Abby? You have been to Elsie and it isn’t full of 2 yo’s. Darren has a potty mouth at Elise and I’ve never seen you be upset that his mouth isn’t family-friendly)   It is completely insensitive to be mad that a young man tragically died because it interfered with her interview (This is so overblown.  That wasn’t what she was doing and it’s time you stop using this to rally your troops, it’s a low blow and it isn’ true).  It is frankly criminal in my opinion to raise money from fans and then not use it for the stated cause (another untrue “fact” you keep repeating.  The money was for the project they completed).  And I could go on all day (yes becuase you’ve made most of them up yourself).  She is harmful to his image and becomes increasingly more so every day (This is untrue- she is his wife and Darren is about to have his best professional period in the next 6 months.  I have never seen one bad work about MIa that wasn’t directly tied to the cc fandom, in other words, nobody outside the fandom dislikes Mia and she isn’t negatively impacting his image.  Their wedding was extensively written about and on several best wedding lists without one bad word about Mia which also proves she isn’t hurting his image. You have also been saying this since 2015= of it got worse every day it would be 1,825x worse than when you first mentioned it)  And any team that cared about their client would have removed him from the situation years ago.  And if they needed him to be straight, get him a beard with ambition beyond being a beard.   

*************************************************************************************************

Anonymous asked: What happened with Mia, why everyone hates her? I'm new at this :(

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: A/non this is a long story. A lot of us tried to ignore her as much as possible for years (Bwahahahah the lack of self-image is overwhelming)  You of course already know that she’s a beard ( honestly not an opinion but a fact proven by a lot of things, public and not (NOT TRUE) - let’s talk about her living with her real bf “and D” for example) (Again I have disproved this trope, They don’t even comprehend that Ben has a live-in girlfriend and has been with her for a while now) and this wouldn’t have been a problem if she wasn’t the daughter of a powerful couple (jealous much? This wouldn’t be a problem if her parents weren't rich? WTF?)) and she was kind enough to truly love other people than herself (This trope is so untrue. Mia’s friends adore her and comment on how great she is.)   Because in that case she would have been a perfect beard and a wonderful friend for D. (It’s hilarious that she believes this is a valid argument) But unfortunately for D mostly the reality is way different (and yet Darren has never made one comment that suggests Mia is a beard, he is with Chris - in fact they have both denied they were in a relationship- or that he’s unhappy. This trope is 100% cc fabricated).

I can say to you, while suggesting to keep an eye for some posts about her here, that we have public video and post reporting how much awful she could be with D and his fans (I’m curious about this-anybody know what she is talking about?)  Or we wanna talk also about her fans? With the excuse of going full bearding following D everywhere every time ( obviously she talked about grueling work and heavy travel schedule in 2015) she and his group stole the money asked with a fundraising for a new video. And don’t forget: She’s rich AF. (Again, so jealous that her parents are rich-her parent’s money is not her money. She’s an adult. She didn’t steal the money for the video-they made the video Gorilla.  I’m going to write another post about this lie) 

Our despising is mostly related to the shit she does to D, tho.(Which the cc fandom has completely fabricated.  How would they have any info on what she. does to Darren? He’s never said one negative word about MIa) 

leka-1998 It’s been 2 years since they forced the encagement. Almost 1 year since the sham mockery and not even 1 month since everyone and their mother included it in their 2019 recap (Leka morphing into Abby.  As for posting -that is what friends and loved ones do. However, most of the “Recaps” were Top 9′s on Instagram and people don’t choose those pics, they are literally the TOP 9 liked posts of the year). And would you look at what’s happening, there are still people coming here wondering if something’s wrong.(Not a logical conclusion, they are reading your lies and then coming for answers) 

Archives here are a good place to start. Let me just say one thing. She’s mocked Cor/y’s death because an interview had to be rescheduled and she was not happy about it. She’s an all around bad person and the complete opposite of what D stands for. (And what exactly does Darren stand for? IT seems to me that he loves his wife and their life. His potty mouth and love of sex puns fit nicely with her).

Anonymous asked: Not the same anon, but for someone rich, M dresses really really badly. You would think rich people could dress themselves especially since they can actually afford a stylist lmao

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: I’m for the people right of choice of wear whatever they want tbh, anon (I stand for freedom of choice except if you are Mia....then I can trash everything about you).   Sometimes she is dressed by AW, sometimes by Lu/lu. The point is that most of the time she chooses the wrong dress alone because of her desire to be a ‘90 badass woman 20 years late. Something that I can understand because of my age but I also have to say that if you have to walk on a red carpet… You need to do it in the right way. She seems unable to understand this fact.(Everyone is free to be you and me except Mia who has to follow the patriarchal rules set forth by society 100 years ago: women are to be seen and not heard, should look pretty but be modest because it’s her responsibility to make sure men do not get boners when looking at her.She is supposed to wear new dresses according to Abby and they should be designer so as to look at Darren’s level. She has to look beautiful as defined by the ccers’ beauty standards or she is a labeled a bad person whom they are then free to bully).   

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later