#-to care about. idk. it just. i don't think i'll ever not feel awed about this

[zhongrin]

cw/tw. gif(s), child neglect, depiction of starvation & frostbite, suicidal thoughts

꧁

𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈

Candour of Light and Shadows

Quest Started

I still think

Some people were born a shadow.

"ーHappy birthday, sweetheart!"

"Thanks, mama!"

"May Lady Tsaritsa bless my little snowflake so he grows up big and healthy... And may She protect you from all dangers and surround you with love and happiness!"

"..... Mama, what about-"

"Hold on, darling."

Every year, instead of burning candles, I burn the memories of you.

Every year, instead of huddling in front of a warm fireplace, I relive the memories of the icy grave you call home.

Every year....

I wonder.

Why didn't you just di̴̖̊ë̷̻͙́̒̿̆ that day?

Why did the gods pity you when your own blood couldn't care less?

Why you? Why me? Why us?

I dare not defy the fate bestowed upon me. This is the role we were bestowed with. The second option. The second best. The supporting role.

The shadow.

....

But maybe....

........

Just... maybe.

.............

Maybe all this time, I've been tricking myself, thinking I was undeserving. Of the spotlight. Of the warm fireplace. Of..... a home.

“....”

“Wha....?”

“Happy birthday, Cov!!”

“My my, did we catch you off-guard so much you were about to unsheathe your sword?”

“Ah... I'm..... sorry.......”

“It's fine, it's fine. More importantly, do you like chocolate cakes? I had no idea what kind of cake you'd like but since you love hot chocolate and cookies, I thought you'd like themー”

“......”

“Cov?”

“...........”

“Thank you.”

Maybe one day, I'll be able to feel truly worthy of this.

......

I guess…. Just for today, I can be the light.

𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞

Candour of Light and Shadows

Quest Completed

[ To be continued(?) ]

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

[miserable-sarah]

I Care 18+

Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: NSFW, smut, 18+, fingering, oral (F), mentions of blood, bad language, unprotected sex, praising. Requested: Heyyy, idk of ur requests are open but if they are can u please write a dean Winchester x ex girlfriend smut who is a hunter and who dean is still not over. Sam and Dean rescue her from a vampire nest and dean is angry and worried after her and she's all like "stop acting like you care" and he says something like "I'll show u how much I care" + angst + kinda enemies x lovers + dark dean? + marking ; ( set in early seasons llke;1,2,3) A/N: I did make a few changes, let me know if you enjoy it! Thanks!

~

You've been hunting down this nest of vampires for a while. It was a big nest, bigger than you've ever seen. It's a hard job alone but you're confident enough in yourself to do it.

Well at least that's what you thought, you see you went into the nest killing almost all of the vampires that were there. You somehow missed calculated the amount. You got taken down and now you're tied up with no way out. You are dreading this, you have no one coming to save you. You're not scared, you're angry. you're mad that they caught you, and mad that you can't get out by yourself. You don't want to be turned into a vampire or have all of your blood drained from your body. So this sucks. You can hear the vamps talking about something they're too quiet to make anything out.

"Hey! Are you guys gonna do anything with me or?" You ask getting annoyed, you'd rather just die now. They just ignore you of course. So you start singing at the top of your lungs to annoy them, they have "super hearing", you know it bothers them. You continue for a couple minutes until someone, you're assuming the head vamp, comes over to you right in your face.

"Shut up!" He yells in your face "I'll kill you right now!" Just as you were about to say something, you hear a commotion. The head vampire cuts your stomach making you wince, then he leaves without saying a word.

"Aw come on, don't leave me here." You say in a stale tone. "We were having fun." you add. After a couple minutes, you don't hear anything.

"Well, well, look at who we have here."

"Oh, fucking kill me." You mumble to yourself.

"Couldn't handle the nest?" Dean smirks at you. You don't say a word just ignore him. "A thank you would be nice."

"Dean, leave her alone." Sam says to him, Sam comes over to you and unties you.

"Thank you, Sam." You smile at him. You glare at Dean.

"Are you alright?" Dean drops his tough guy act.

"Fine." You say sternly, you walk away from the boys trying to leave the building. You however, weren't fine. You were bleeding and had no idea.

"You're bleeding pretty bad." Dean says to you.

"It's fine, it's nothin-" You look down and see what he's talking about. You're covered in blood. You lift up your shirt and see a huge cut on your stomach. "Oh no." You feel dizzy and then Dean's arms around you as you fall.

~

You wake up in a motel room, not unusual.

"Dean?" You say softly looking around the room.

"Hey, you okay?" He answers, he sits next to you placing his hand on your back.

"Yeah, fine. Thanks." You mumble. You stand up even though your stomach is in pain.

"You should relax for at least a few more hours."

"Nah, I'm good." You say looking around for your things.

"Y/n, I'm serious." Dean says to you in a frustrated tone.

"Dean, I don't care. I'm fine."

"Y/n! Sit down!" He gets angry with you.

"No!" You yell, you have to hold back a wince. He's right you are hurt but you're not going to sit in a room with your ex boyfriend because you're hurt. You can recover somewhere else.

"You're hurt. Something can happen to you!"

"Oh and now you care?" You roll your eyes. "Stop acting like you care."

That was it for Dean. He stood up and got right in your face. "You don't think I care, huh?" He chuckled at you. "I'll show you how much I care." He said with promise. Dean smashes his lips on yours, at first it took you by surprise but you came around to it very quickly. You kiss back but then pull away.

"Dean what are you doing?" You say trying to push him away but he doesn't budge. "We can't, I mean we broke up. It's been months-"

Dean has been on your mind since you two broke up. It was over something stupid, literally so stupid you don't even remember what it was about. You were in love with Dean, well you still are. He treated you like a princess, but like a bad ass princess. He was your safe place and you were his. When you broke up it just so happened to also be a really bad time in his life and he needed to leave. So he did, you two never got to fix what was broken.

"Stop talking." Dean interrupts you. You go to say something else, Dean cuts you off by kissing you, again. This time you immediately kiss back. You slide his jacket off and tug at his shirt. He breaks the kiss to lift his shirt off. Your hands run down his muscular body. You almost moan in excitement.

Dean carefully took off your shirt, trying not to hurt you. He unclipped your bra and tossed across the room. His hands gently massaged your breasts, you let out a little whine. You've been so needy for him it's pathetic. Dean picks you up effortlessly and drops you on the bed. He unbuttons your jeans and slides them off your body, you can feel yourself getting wet with anticipation. Dean hovers over your body he kisses you softly, then your neck, down to your chest, then down your stomach and all the way to your panty line.

"Dean, please" You beg quietly. You hear Dean chuckling.

"Patience sweethheart." He says as he slowly takes off your panties. He kisses up your legs to thighs incredibly slowly. You groan in frustration Dean ignores your frustration.

"Please!" You beg louder.

"Look at how wet you are." He smiles at you "All for me?" He smirks.

"Yes" You moan softly.

Dean finally enters a finger in you, you moan in relief. He watches your face making sure you're enjoying it, he enters another finger and thrusts them deep curving his fingers to make sure he hits your g-spot. You moan louder at the feeling, it's been months since you've been with Dean, well anyone for that matter. Dean always knew what to do to please you though, he just knew your body so well.

"You like that baby?" He asks, you nod and moan "Words" He says

"Yes, Dean." You say softly.

"Good girl." He smirks at you. Dean dips his head between your thighs, you feel his tongue directly on your clit.

"Oh my god." You let your head hit the bed and close your eyes. Dean continues to pump his fingers in and out of you while his tongue dances around your clit. It feels so amazing. You start to buck your hips, he puts his arm around your hips to hold you down.

He adds a third finger stretching you out for him. You moan and whine, it feels good but you want him. All of him.

"Dean, please" You pant. He ignores you, he keeps sucking and licking your clit. "please." you whimper. He still doesn't listen. Your legs are shaking and you try to squeeze your thighs together but Dean won't let you. Your moans become more desperate. "Feels so good" He keeps going he can tell your close by the way you're squeezing his fingers.

Your buck your hips up, you let out a loud moan, your vision goes blurry and you see stars. Dean slowly pulls his fingers out, you look down at him out of breath. He licks his lips then smiles at you.

"You taste good." He slowly crawls up to your face and kisses you. You kiss back and pull him closer. You reach your hand down his stomach and realize he's taken off his jeans. You palm him through his boxers, he lets out a groan. Dean takes your hand and puts it down his boxers you take his invitation and pump his cock slowly. Dean kisses and bites your neck. You pull your hand out and pull his boxers down springing him free. He moans at your movements.

You tried moving to get on top of Dean but he stopped you. "You're hurt. Let me take care of you." he says kissing your forehead. He lightly brushes his hands down your body to your legs, he places them around his waist. He lines himsef up with you and slowly enters you. You and Dean let out a loud moan. "You feel so good." He says through his teeth. "So nice and tight."

"You're so big." You arch your back.

"I've missed you." He says he leans down and kisses you, you kiss back. He rests his forehead on yours, in this moment everything feels right. It feels like everything is going to be okay. You've missed this feeling.

"You're doing so good, taking all of me." Dean praises "Such a good girl." His words make you weak.

"You feel so good." you moan. Dean switches positions he leans up and places your legs on his shoulders, deepening his thrusts. You moan louder, so does he. His grunts and groans are getting more frequent.

"Damn baby, I've missed this pussy." He brings his fingers to your clit and starts rubbing "I can't believe this is all mine. Only mine."

"Yes, all yours."

"I know." He mumbles. Dean continues to rub your clit causing your legs to shake. You whimper and try to move around. "I know baby, I know." He coos at you. "Feels so good, huh?" You nod. "Words." He reminds you.

"Y-yes." You stutter "So good." He's so focused on pleasing you, his hair is messy, his body is glistening, his grunts and groans are filling the room along with your moans. You can feel your whole body shaking, your walls are clenching around him.

"Damn baby you're squeezing me so tight." Dean moans. His thrusts get deeper and faster. "Are you going to cum for me?"

"Yes" You moan "Feels so good."

"I know, you feel so good too." He groans. "I'm not going to last long with you squeezing me like that."

"I'm gonna-"

"Go ahead baby, cum for me." His fingers rub faster on your sensitive clit, with every thrust he hits your g-spot, his words are ringing through your head. Your body starts twitching, your legs shaking, you close your eyes tight, you try to scream but nothing comes out. Dean helps you ride out your orgasm, soon after you feel him fill you up. He lightly presses his body on yours and catches his breath.

You wrap your arms around Dean and hold him. He kisses your shoulder a few times before rolling off you. "Uh, let me clean you up." He says awkwardly. Dean gets up and grabs some clean towels he cleans you up then cleans himself up. "I'll change your bandage too."

"Dean." You grab his arm. "Just come lay down."

"But-"

"Please." You cut him off. He nods and lays down next to you, you move yourself so you're laying your head on his chest. "I've missed you." You look up at him.

"Me too." He says softly "Sorry-"

"Dean. It's okay. I know you had to go." You cut him off. "I'm sorry I never got to apologize."

"I know." He pulls you a little closer to him.

You're not sure what will happen next, you're hopeful it'll work out between you two. You both have a lot of love for each other, if it's meant to be it will be. But for right now all you want to do is enjoy your night with Dean Winchester.

[annieqattheperipheral]

At 1hr 21min:

Started typing... Kept typing lol here you go, natemac interview recap:

Nate still has to go train at sid's gym

So nate makes batherson come to his gym

Vail camp: used to have them, paused for covid, better and chill, no one knows them (tried them before in toronto and montreal), not busy. Training at 9000ft. Afterwards do treatment or golf.

Attendees: mcdavid, marner, sid, skinner, hall, tysbarrie, matty tkachuk, bennett, hanifin

McDavid: i don't see him much, I've gotten to know him thru these. I'm like a kid watching him, it's just fun

Matthew Tkachuk: "and he's doing his thing 😂"

Cale's wedding: "i shouldn't say a showman but when he gets into his moods he's a fun guy. likes to dance, have a good time, when his wife's around, definitely loosens up more and it's just the boys around"

Went to Wimbledon this summer. Did not wear a top hat

Lighter recovery training both this and last summer: just trying to take miles off his body is key. Light gym days "is that it, Andy?" But feels good now

Cale: "first nhl game, aggressive and calling for pucks, to do that at 19yo is impressive. The confidence that he has. Quieter off the ice. Super sure of himself on the ice. He's special. He'll be the best defenseman ever"

A bit about why he works with his sports psychologist and will always continue working with her "we're so dialed in on our body, why is no one taking care of their mind" "the minute you think you're good, you're not"

Is offended that "ball hockey players claim nhl players can't play ball hockey. is that true?" ("I've rollerbladed my entire life!!") (I need to see fanart of that btw pls ☺️)

Idiot boys tell him it's on feet not on rollerblades (chiclets cup talk "what is the chiclets cup?")

Nate asks who the best ball hockey player in the world is. Answer: "nose face killah" "who?" "he looks 20x uglier and a big nose" and Nate responds "so he's got like my nose" they all compliment his nose😌

Nate redirects the convo to roller hockey

On sid's $8.7: in July he told him "you're not gonna sign for 8.7 are ya c'mon. and he was like ahh idk I'll see" he's taking less to be team friendly

Sid still grinding in the summers. While Nate had his recovery summer he looks like a joke in comparison to sid

The pressure of being captain for team canada for upcoming 4nations & Olympics must be part of what's driving him

"he doesn't look 37 in any way" Yandle: he doesn't have any kids. Nate: must be it! Must be the key

Landy: feels like 10yrs when he last played and lifted the cup. Misses him

Mikko: "he's shockingly big. Says he's 6'3", seems like he must be 6'5". His head is this fuckin big"

"old school. Stretches for like an hour a day. The most flexible guy"

Avs "get so many national games. Know we're not the biggest hockey market but mikko should get more recognition. Super underrated"

Cal ritchie: he did the whiffing thing at vail camp. Everyone thought he whiffed and then he did it again. Nate tried it to do it today, can't do it. Awed by what the kids can do

Nate can't do the Michigan either

His trainer has trained a lot of downhill skiers, you have to be fearless, so training in the pool relaxes your mind. Keeps mum about what he does in the pool. No he does not wear a speedo😞

Lehky's dad vs. mikko: "mikko had a 4 or 5pt game, was fired up, said that to media, then apologized to lehky like 3min later. They're really good friends"

Went to Europe this summer: no one really knows me in america, especially there. Like being off grid, wake up to no texts bc of time change, super relaxing

Was tempted to go to worlds last season (omg what!!!!) avs were out 2nd round. Sid was bugging him and schenner about it (biz: "if you go I'll go kind of thing?" 'Yea")

They were all going to go but nate pooped out "played 105 games, lost to Dallas, was devastated"

Cogs: met him thru Andy at vail. Lit up when it was brought up about trading for him in '22. He is management now. Around the rink, always in the gym, hands in his pockets, walking around, talking to guys

"isn't he good at impressions?" "Yea he's a great storyteller he's so good"

"the league is evolving really quickly right now so it's good to have a bridge" like cogs who recently played bw team and mgmt

Communication is better in the league. Players aren't terrified to talk to GM like he was as a rookie when seeing sakic. Thinks it's important for players to know where they stand. Old school players think fear can be good, yea sure, but you can't scare ppl into playing well for over 8mos, 82 games. Prefers this new way

Mitts: super comfortable, quieter, came to a team where he knows nobody, he looks great, expecting an awesome year from him

Faceoffs: lmaaooo still saying he needs to practice that. Hurts his wrist when he practices them. Needs to be around 52. Was at 46 last season

No league bonus$ for winning the Hart

MacKinnon Crunch cereal released in 2021. It was frosted flakes + he picked the flavour, he liked it! (I NEED TO TRY THIS)

Tim hortons: sidnate want to do an ad with marchy where he messes up ppls orders and they sit him down to teach him what to do (omg they're coming up with sketches lolll) "Marchy needs to be nicer on the ice to be more marketable" 💀

Bedard: hard worker, on the ice 1.5hr after everyone, ice is so snowy can't even move on it

Preseason games, re: all these preseason injuries: doesn't agree with veteran rule (how many mandatory games they have to play) but important for prospects and rookies, you need to be able to evaluate them, they can look good in practice but different story in games.

For vets, you want to play hard, show a good example "played one last night, lost 6-1" and" you see the doughty laine injuries and it's like i could throw my season away for a glorified practice essentially is all it is"

"You're in your game jersey but it doesn't mean anything"

"it's a fine line, i like playing them, 1 or 2, i don't need 6"

Teams are making $1-3mil per preseason game (probably only leafs habs etc)

Listens to a lot of podcasts, likes learning (about self-help, longevity, recovery, nutrition, etc), always has since he was a kid. Liked going to Popeyes (nutrition supplements chain store, like GNC) with his dad looking at protein powders etc lmao

"idk I'm just into it. Definitely love learning, there's a lot i don't know. I feel like a dummy listening to these guys"

Asked about "policing food". He laughs. Omg the laugh is sooo lmaao. On whit saying rumours of him strangling lehky last season for eating a snickers "nooo. Stop it. Stop it. That's not true. (*laughing! laughing!🙃 *oh we are having fun!*)"

"Trying to mellow out a little bit. Definitely see some shit i get mad, try to keep it to myself. ... Eat what you want but when you're at the rink ... I just think the least you can do as a pro athletes is be in shape."

On how nhl of the past, players would be drinking pepsi in-between periods: "a little sugar during a game isn't too bad, it's all good" (i swear his voice is different at this part bc he is internally combusting😂)

4nations/team Canada: Wants McDavid & Sid 1c/2c. Doesn't think they've played wing, doesn't want them to

Himself 3c or wing. Has played wing at other national events. Doesn't love left wing. Prefers right

"should i tell sid to play wing?" Paraphrased: you're Ted Lindsay & MVP, still at his gym, you gotta get something out of this

"he could be 50yo and I'd still slide over" 😏

"nova scotia line (sid, nate, marchy) would be pretty cool at Olympics or this feb (4nations)"

Marner: "he looks awesome... You hear all this negative stuff and then you get on the ice with him you're like how could anyone be negative about this. Admire how good he is, bc ppl chirp him a lot. Him and McDavid were flying around together in Vail"

[sexyandcringe]

Hopeless romantic

Part 3 ◇ Part 4

Warnings: cheating (not by reader or osamu), mommy issues and generally parents issues. Reader thinks she is unlovable (she just like me fr.)

Content: osamu x reader, Angst to fluff, hurt/comfort.

A/n: This is the end y'all! I wanted to make it longer but i know myself and i would just leave it unfinished at some point, so i thought this might be a good "ending", but good news! I'll still write some drabbles and snippets about yn and osamu's lives in this AU! like their first times and shit. idk, i'll see. I'm sorry if this disappoints you, I don't care.

Osamu thinks that everything in your house screams of you.

It’s not his first time in your home, but the vibrant hues and light shades remind him of your joyful personality; the white marble floor completes the water green and pink of your walls. Some canvases are hanging in the living room and a knowing smile forms on his lips as he recognizes your touch in a few of them. The colours and the delicate strokes all bear your signature, a reflection of everything that is you.

He wanders his eyes around, noticing details he didn’t notice in the past and taking in everything he can.

“Pasta with yogurt is delicious.”

Osamu looks horrified at your statement. He thought you were perfect in all shapes and forms, never had he ever expected you to come up with such a daring, unacceptable, banned-from-his-restaurant-worthy comment.

“This is it. I’m leaving.” he declares, rising abruptly from the table, as if ready to sever all hia ties with you and your questionable taste in food.

Your laughter fills the room before you grab his arms and your hand grips his shoulder, “I’m just joking!! Please!” you plead.

“No, you are not.”

Resigned, you raise your hands in surrender, “Okay, I’m not. but it’s actually good! You can’t judge anything until you try it!”

He only scoffs and sinks back into his seat, his attention on the Zucchini Lasagna with Zucchini “Ricotta” that you both made together. It was easier than you expected, and despite your protests, Osamu refused your assistance in any way,  insisting that you simply observe and learn.

The way his hands work in the kitchen left you in awe, and also a little flustered. Who wouldn’t be after seeing those healthy, strong arms of his being put to work?

The final strike was his calm, soft voice, effortlessly explaining everything you didn’t know without making you feel foolish. His tone was void of any patronization and he remained kind and understanding even when you asked questions that might seem obvious to others in the culinary world.

When the result of your (his) hard work was ready, it was late enough that you asked him to stay and dine with you, not wanting to let go of him yet.

(You never want to let go of him.)

“I don’t need to try it to understand that it will taste awful.”

“Never judge a book by its cover, Miya.” you retort playfully, adopting the guise of a wise sage.

Though he doesn't voice it, Osamu hates being called Miya by you.

“You know what- leave it,” he grumbles. His scrunched-up face from the irritation he felt earlier relaxes when he takes a big bite of his dinner and you can’t stop the grin that makes its way onto your lips. Such a goofball he is.

Both of you finish your plates in silence and silence has never been so comfortable, if not with him.

In the past, you always felt like a fish out of water, you knew you were different but not the “cool and edgy” kind, no, you were just straight-up weird, and you believed that most of your friendships and relationships with others did not work out because of this.

Over time, you worked on yourself, learnt to talk to people in socially acceptable manners, and learnt to keep your mouth shut when you had to; Sometimes, your thoughts still race ahead of your words, leaving you dizzy, but you’ve made progress. You’re doing much better now than your younger self, and that is enough.

Osamu never makes you feel different.

He has always been kind and understanding, even on days when you felt like you didn’t deserve it. Even that day, when you were just a stranger soaked with rain, seeking shelter and comfort in his shop.

It was a cloudy day and you were exhausted from work. Darkness dwelled in the sky when your world shattered again.

It was late evening when your parents called, and of course, it ended up in a fight with no end.

You hated it.

You missed them, every once in a while, but you couldn’t stand being around them. 

You always had a tricky relationship with your mother, a paradox where you wished her well while hurting her because she hurt you. You loved her and cared for her while wanting to run away from her and never see her again. 

(maybe you only loved the mother you hoped she would be.)

To make matters worse, your boyfriend wasn’t answering his phone. You needed him - needed his hugs and kisses and a silly movie to escape reality.

And when he didn’t reply to yet another call, you decided to go to his house in hopes of finding him, but when you got to the main gate of his building, your heart stopped.

You had your fair share of heartbreaks, but at the age of 24,  you weren’t one to play around with idiots who can’t have a stable and serious relationship. Your boyfriend seemed perfect initially, he was everything you thought you couldn’t find and the first two months were like a dream. Then, the reality slapped you hard and you saw the imperfections in your relationship: he never called, never let you see his phone (not like you ever asked, privacy is important to you, but when he takes away his phone even just to go to the bathroom, or when he snatches his phone from you when you use just to make some silly selfies, it makes you feel like he might be exaggerating a tad bit.), and most of all, he didn’t want you to meet his friends yet. 

You thought he might be just shy, maybe his friends weren’t your type of people, maybe he had been discussing a surprise for you so that’s why he wouldn’t let you see his phone. You found justification in everything because really, you liked him. 

Maybe that’s why when you saw your boyfriend of 8 months making out with the barista “you didn’t need to worry about.”, you felt like hundreds of thousands of needles were ripping your skin apart and just then, as if the clouds could feel your pain, they started to mourn, pouring heavy rain on your head, screaming at the top of their lungs and letting all their suffering pour down as if taking revenge of everything the humans have done to Earth.

At first, you felt numb, a numbness that comes from not believing what you are seeing, then started the loud thumping of your heart, making your bones tremble in despair, and your breathing became unbalanced, stuttering through your mouth; and worst of all, you were in the middle of the streets and the rain was growing faster and louder.

(but nothing was louder than the scream you let out inside your head.)

With heavy and slow steps, you walked away, oblivious to the water dripping down your temples, feeling utterly lost.

You didn’t know where to go. Your house was just a hellhole of everything that would remind you of him. You wanted to run away, and that’s what you did.

You ran until your lungs burned, until your legs ached, and the rain drenched you completely.

You were hungry and thirsty and cold and heartbroken and so fucking lost and-

A light.

A warm, inviting light accompanied by soft hums and melodies gets your attention.

From the tables inside the structure, you suspect it to be a restaurant, or perhaps a fast food, you don’t know. All you knew was that you needed warmth and a seat, so you pushed the doors open.

“Sorry, we are close-” A man looks your way, holding a dirty cloth and detergent. He must have been cleaning. 

Your eyes widen, a little panicked, because you had no idea it was so late and when you look down- 

oh god, you just walked into a closed restaurant, and you are soaked and you dirtied his floor all over again, he is so going to berate you and kick you out-

“Nevermind. Come in.” his voice sounds gentle, kind even; you wonder why he hasn’t screamed at you yet. You just ruined his floor, didn’t you?

He pulls a chair back and waits for you to sit, you oblige in silence, though a little hesitant, “Wait here, I’ll be back.” is all he says before disappearing from your sight.

While you stare at the texture of the tables and tiles, the events of the day come back rushing to your mind, the fight with your parents, the dead cat you found on the streets and your boyfriend cheating on you. Everything was a mess, and you felt so lonely. There was a tight knot in your chest, a heavy weight of unshed tears, and it became heavier with each passing second.

A plate comes into your view with hot rolled spaghetti seasoned with tomato puree and basil and you can’t stop the grumbling of your stomach at the sight of such delicacy.

Your face heats up as you hear a small laugh from the man standing next to you; you opt to hide your embarrassment by eating everything that was laid in front of you. You take a bite of the hot strands, swirling your fork in all the wrong ways (when have you ever done something right?), and the taste fills your mouth, cascading in your stomach and the tight knot between your lungs comes undone, your eyes get blurry and tears start to flow freely down your cheeks.

Fuck, you really did not want to cry now, but you can’t stop it. You sob and hiccup and keep eating all the same, while the cook stands next to you in silence.

The kindness of a stranger and the cruelty of your beloved crashed down on you like a tsunami and all you could do was eat and cry. Miserable, you thought to yourself.

Later, a hand came down your head, a soft pat accompanied by a low, comforting voice, “It’s going to be okay.” it said, and you believed it.

“Yachi was asking about you, y’know. Tsumoto, too. They said they missed your yapping.”

You gasp, feigning a shocked expression. “Hey! It’s called  ‘having a conversation’!”

He snorts, “Sure, if that’s what helps you sleep at night.” Osamu collects the empty plates from the table and helps you clean up the kitchen.

You huff as he dries the dishes you wash, his taunting endless. When you glance at the clock, it’s already around 10 pm, and you wonder if you took too much of his time. Someone like him should never waste his time over someone like you.

“By the way, Aika gifted me two tickets to the opening of the “Fishy and Cheesy Aquarium” near the bridge because she can’t make it.” he says after a while. 

You sputter out your drink, laughing at the ridiculous name.

“What the fuck is that name?!” you try not to snort like an ugly pig in front of him (you fail.) He just shrugs. “Also who’s Aika?”.

“Oh? I thought you met her! Remember the girl with long black hair and green eyes who entered my restaurant a few weeks ago? She’s Rintarou’s sister, but since me and ‘Tsumu have known Rin since we were toddlers, she’s like a sister to us, too.” a fond smile takes place on his lips, a smile that he rarely gives to clients, a smile reserved for family.

All the pieces fall into place in your head, and somehow you feel relief and joy and you curse yourself for feeling that way. You shouldn’t be allowed to feel happy now, but you are, and your heart’s already thumping out of your chest when he says his next words: 

“So, I was saying, since ‘Tsumu is away for two weeks and Rin just hates crowded places with too many kids, would you like to go there with me?”

And of course, you say yes before your brain can even comprehend what he’s asking of you. 

You are quite sure he is just asking you out as friends do, but what can you say? you are a hopeless romantic, after all.

Reblogs are really appreciated!

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @writingsofanomnivore @pressuredtreasure @k4sumis0u

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Do you think Meghan has treated staff worse than idk maybe Prince Philip or Andrew or Charles or Princess Margaret? There are some whispers about their horrible treatment of staff too? Whether it be screaming or something else? So you think what Meghan did is a lot worse that she deserves to be singled out?

I don't know that Meghan's mistreatment of staff is worse than anyone else in the royal family. I feel that it is, given my own experience with a bully boss, but that's my opinion. It's not fact and it's not something I would ever attest to as a fact.

Personally I think everyone who treats their staff unkindly deserves to be called out. I don't care how powerful, how famous, how rich, how pretty you are. If you mistreat anyone who has less than you, especially if they're someone you depend on, you deserve every bit of karma coming your way.

I have always held that the reason Clarence House squashed the complaints and Buckingham Palace squashed the investigation is because both implicated other senior royals - definitely Charles and Andrew, and most likely several others.

And also, it's not "some whispers" about other royals. People are talking loudly and clearly about the bullying behaviors and mistreatment or harassment of others by everyone who's been caught:

Andrew

Charles

Charles's trusted aide/fall guy, Michael Fawcett, who resigned over other complaints and whom Charles reinstated to his post within the week.

Diana

Sophie

Philip

Just for starters.

I think Meghan is (and has been) singled out for her mistreatment of staff because of her hypocrisy. She complains about being bullied, all the while a letter documenting her personal mistreatment of staff exists and has been given to a member of the press, who quoted it in his story that broke the bullying allegations.

If there wasn't written evidence of Meghan's mistreating staff (and reporters weren't in possession of said evidence to publish direct quotes from it), the allegations wouldn't hold any water. It'd just be salacious gossip just like this story about Diana.

But the written record exists. Several written records exist and in today's hyper-transparent and interconnected world, those records are more damaging to Meghan's credibility than any of the other verbal complaints made against other members of the BRF.

Hence why the investigation, its findings, and the report were squashed. Not only does the report put allegations in writing, the report also most likely substantiates enough allegations that it makes clear there's a significant, systemic problem that makes The Crown look awful. The allegations of Meghan's bullying would be the least of the palace's concerns should that report be published so in this case, Meghan is the sacrificial lamb as far as the bullying allegations go. The allegations of her mistreatment are 100% hiding allegations against other senior, principal royals. It all deserves to be called out with equal karmic retribution, but that won't happen.

So I'll settle for Meghan because she was entitled enough to think she could one-tear-left-eye-go her way out of the hot seat.

[xcerizex]

"interest"

Take care, and good night. Make sure to hold me tight and never let go.

"I said not to let go of me...didn't I?"

(doll(?)!cael, cael x little painter, little painter in 2nd pov, tragedy, slight yandere cael????, simple, word vomit idk what happened, inspired by Rope's "Interest Meme", 1.2k words)

You are happy everyday, and it's all thanks to the pretty doll your mother gave you.

"Happy birthday!"

In her hands, a silver fox doll sits obediently within her palms. As if saying hi, you see its ears rustle.

"Thank you, mom!"

You take the doll from her hands and hold it tight to your chest, saying;

"I'll be sure to take good care of it."

You don't ask her where she got it from.

Whatever the case is, you'll be sure to play with it. Holding it up to the sky, you make your future plans, one tea party a day, and a new coat to be sewn by your hand every week, so that this doll may never be bored.

"I think I'll name you...Cael!"

You press your cheek against the doll, breathing in the scent of fresh fabric and flowers, and you giggle.

"Let's have lots of fun together no matter what okay?"

"Hey Cael, today was awful."

You pout, lying over the table as you set him up facing towards you. He sits there silently, listening to your woes without a sound.

"Two of my closest friends fought with each other, I couldn't take it and started crying. Then they started blaming each other again."

You've never liked conflict, and thinking about how your friends are probably never going to talk to each other again, you tear up.

"What if they ask me to pick a side?"

You lament to him without reservation, and the mere presence of him is more than comforting so you continue to talk with no signs of stopping.

"What if I lose all of my friends?"

The side of your head is pressed against the table and you look up to see vaguely see his button eyes shine and gleam. Maybe it's a trick of the light, you think, and don't give it another thought.

"But everything should be fine!"

You stand up energetically, balling your fists and lifting your head to the sky.

"Because no matter what, I'll still have you!"

'No matter what, I'll always be your friend.'

You don't stop talking to him just yet.

"I'm afraid of nightmares."

You hold Cael close to your chest, and your voice is the most despondent that it has ever been, as you express your greatest worry.

"Mom hasn't been feeling well. She says that she'll be fine, but I saw her coughing up blood the other day."

You tighten your grip on him, asking him for comfort as you always have.

"What if she dies in my dreams? My classmates like to say that dreams can make the future come true so if that really happens..."

You can't stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. So you sniffle, trying to hold everything in but you can't and start sobbing.

"I don't want to lose her, she's my only family. I have no one else."

Your tears stream down in waves for hours and by the time you're done, your pillow is soaked.

But for some reason the silver fox doll remains dry.

"You'll always stay with me, right?"

You're tired, and finally doze off as you ask him a question you know you won't hear him answer for the nth time, but as your eyes close, you hear something.

"Yes."

You wake up tomorrow not remembering a thing.

Every day, you have tea time with Cael and prepare strawberry scones and jasmine tea, before every tea party, you dress yourself up and bow in a curtsy, greeting him like the princess of a castle.

Every week, you sew him new suits and coats of all colours, and most of your favourite combinations often include white and purple. You think it makes him look elegant, and spare no effort in each design.

But soon, those coats and suits will gather dust, and the tablecloth over the tea table shall be replaced with a new pattern to accommodate your new toy.

You are happy every day, and it's all thanks to the pretty doll your mother gave you.

"Happy Birthday."

Your mother presents to you your 13th doll with a weary smile. Her youthful vigor had long been replaced by the wrinkles of time, but even that doesn't explain the exhaustion and effort in which she speaks with.

"Thank you, mom."

You try your best not to cry as you take the new doll from her arms, and toss your old one into a box filled with forgotten friends.

At the very least, you shouldn't worry her and put on a smile.

"Do you want to know why your mother died?"

You stare up at the mysterious man in front of you, his white hair and amethyst eyes contrasting the gloomy scene drenched in black, rain, and white flowers scattered over a coffin. He is beautiful, ethereally so, reminding you of a fairy from the storybooks you'd read aloud to your dolls every night.

"It was because she invoked my curse."

He bends down to look you in the eye at an even level, speaking gently and softly, and you think it is the sweetest sounding curse you have ever heard.

"It is as the old legends say, those who betray the fae are sentenced to have their lives cut short, and your mother–no matter how powerful she was–is no exception."

He lifts your chin up with one finger, treating you as gently as you did with him.

"I'm sorry."

Your voice is hoarse from crying, and you sincerely apologize to him. But he shakes his head.

"I'm grateful to your mother. Even though I had spent many years trapped inside that doll, meeting you was the greatest thing in my life."

His eyes are filled with affection, and he strokes your hair in warm, comforting movements, expressing his adoration for you.

"So it's my turn to make you happy."

"Good night."

You are happy everyday, and it's all thanks to the old doll your deceased mother gave you.

"Happy birthday."

He brings you over to a tea table filled with fresh scones and your favourite drinks. You sit down wearing a gown he designed specially for you–white with purple laces, his colour. As tea time starts, Cael bows to you like a prince from a fairytale. He takes a seat.

"Did you know that faes mate for life?"

He smiles at you from across the table, resting his chin on his folded hands as he stares at you endearingly.

"So please be assured, I have no intentions of ever leaving you. But even then..."

He leans forward to hold your hand.

"You're still afraid of me aren't you? That I'll abandon you the same way you did to me."

Finally, you show signs of life and flinch imperceptibly. Guilt bears down on you like a heavy chain of sin, and you lower your head even further.

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that."

"What are you talking about?"

He comes over to you and holds you close, presses his cheek against yours the same way you did to him when you first met.

"Well, you shouldn't think about that right now, you must still be in grief." And when he brings up your mother, tears well up in your eyes again as he hugs you, trying to comfort you.

"You can hold me tight, and dream a nice dream."

[cassidy273]

Watching Shameless (US version) for the first time. I'll update this as I go.

Note: Please don't spoil anything. The most I know is a character named Debbie has a kid eventually.

Season 1 Episode 1: I'm sorry who the fuck names their child LIP-

Ian is giving off LGBTQIA vibes. Idk tho I might be wrong.

Did...did that child murder a cat?

LIAM IS SO CUTE OMG MY HEARTTTT

Kev and Veronica goddamn-

Why is Frank kinda...

Damn six updates before the fucking title screen.

GODDAMN FRANK AND FIONA ARE BOTH KINDA...

"You're almost nine, you're gonna have to start pulling your weight." made me CACKLE

THIS BITCH REALLY BROUGHT A WHOLE ASS BABY TO SHOW AND TELL-

I wanna execute those two guys who were saying that shit about Fiona at her job.

Midget Naked Witch Bending Over is a really good band name

Why is she going under the table I'm literally so confused-

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK DOES SCIENCE TURN YOU ON KAREN

Why was showing his bare ass necessary?

Lovely. I really wanted to see a guy looking at pictures of boobs today.

Those aren't boobs.

Wait omg my prediction was actually correct what the fuck-

Fiona's dress is literally so pretty omfg

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP DISRESPECTING FIONA FIRST THOSE GUYS MAKE WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT HER THEN SHE GETS FUCKING ROBBED

DON'T CALL HER A SKANK YOU DICK

Goddamn I forgot that guy's name but he punched that dick so I love him

I'm gonna take a shower I'll watch the rest after

I'm back y'all

The word 'knob-job' just rubs me the wrong way it just sounds so gross-

I was happy that the poor kid's name wasn't Lip but then I heard his name was Philip and that's even worse omg I feel so bad for him

Veronica is an ICON

WHY DID THEY START MAKING OUT WHAT THAT WAS LITERALLY SO RANDOM

Guys I don't think this show is very kid-friendly

BOTH OF THEM ARE ATTRACTIVE TO ME IDK WHO TO LOOK AT I THINK THIS IS WHAT A BI PANIC FEELS LIKE

THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE QUIET WHAT THE FUCK

I feel so bad for her she was almost there and then a fucking garda showed up

I'm gonna leave my laptop for a while sorry

I'm back again

Frank get out of the bar and take care of your kids omfg

He's such an asshole I love him-

OMGOMGOMGSTEVE'SBACK

Aw he's such a nice guy he's not bullying Philip because y'know his name is fucking Philip <3

I think Steve and Fiona might be the first straight ship I've liked in a long time-

Oh my god imagine being Ian like 'Hey, so um, I know I'm your brother and all, but I found your secret gay porn stash and also here's a blowjob from a girl who gave one to me. Enjoy!'

Karen's dad is such an asshole omg kiss your wife dude.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IF I WAS IAN I WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE RIGHT THERE IMAGINE A GIRL IS SUCKING YOUR YOU KNOW WHAT UNDER THE TABLE AND THEN HER DAD PULLS BACK THE TABLECLOTH I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE

I'M SORRY IS HE TRYING TO BEAT UP THESE KIDS FOR HAVING SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH HIS DAUGHTER

I'm actually dying oh my god that fucking greenscreen as Lip jumped out the window-

I love all of Veronica's outfits she slays so hard

Ew uncensored penis

HE BOUGHT HER A NEW WASHER STEVE IS SO NICE

"Hey! You honour thy father!" "GET FUCKED!" Karen is so iconic

Fiona going 'Please tell me you didn't get some girl pregnant' to her gay brother killed me

DEBBIE IS LITERALLY SO INNOCENT AND KIND I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE SHE DOESN'T TURN OUT LIKE HER DAD-

Steve is the only straight man other than Robert Smith we need as a society.

Never mind. The phrase 'This whole city belongs to the Jennas, and I'm sick of them' sounded a lot like 'You're not like other girls' which is the worst compliment ever.

NEVER MIND X2 I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TALK TO ME LIKE THIS-

Omg I thought he left her for a second and I was so fucking pissed

Imagine you gave a bj to two different guys (WHO ARE BROTHERS) and the first guy's all like 'Hey, did you give my brother a BONER??'

WAIT HOW OLD IS IAN AND HOW OLD IS THE MARRIED SHOP GUY BECAUSE IF THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR I GOTTA GOOGLE THIS

IAN'S FUCKING FIFTEEN WHAT THE ACTUAL DAMN DIDDLY FUCK

'He's done nothing to be sorry for' AYO DUDE

I love Frank so fucking much-

SHOTSSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSSHOTS

I literally forgot Carl existed I feel so bad

Is it just me, or does Lip kinda look like Shia LaBeouf when he played Stanley Yelnats?

AWWW STEVE IS SO NICE

Final Thoughts:

That was so good, and I'm probably gonna not watch it again for a few weeks like what normally happens with shows I like.

[megamett44-lover]

Chris Sturniolo x Reader

Summary: Based off “Never Say Never” by The Fray

Warnings/Notes: She/her pronouns, profanity, online bullying

Requested? No! (I have been re-watching The Vampire Diaries and forgot how good the soundtrack is. So prepare for more fics based off of songs<3)

Don’t Let Me Go

“Some things we don't talk about

Rather do without and just hold the smile”

Chris and I had a…complicated relationship, to say the least. Growing up together, he had become my best friend, my safe place. The only one I trusted completely with my heart. I guess that was my first mistake.

As we grew older, so did my feelings. They grew into something I couldn’t ever understand. I had thought my feelings had been one sided, but I was wrong. Both of us scared to lose our friendship, neither of us said anything.

“Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of, together all the while”

It was Sophomore year when we had both confessed our feeling for each other. Both delirious at 3:00am, watching some stupid comedy, when his hand slipped into mine under the blanket we shared. Looking up to be met with his blue eyes boring into mine, he smiled.

“I love you, Y/n.” He had whispered softly.

Something we had often said to each other, somehow felt different; this statement from him had the weight of his whole heart on the line. And with all of the courage in my body, I threw my heart into the deep end with his, not caring where it would take us.

“And I love you, Chris.” I whispered, watching his eyes for any glimmer of doubt. Instead, I found the childlike innocence of pure, true love. The kind’ve look someone only has once in their lifetime; first to love, and to be loved.

From then on, we were one. Maybe to our own fault. When we were good, things were great. But…when things were bad, they were awful. Loving each other too much to the point of not loving each other at all; it had become too much.

“You can never say never

While we don't know when

But time and time again

Younger now, than we were before”

“I never want to see you again.” I said through the tears burning my eyes.

“Never say that again, Y/n L/n.” Chris said. “I don’t care if you’re not mine, I will always be yours. No matter what, I can promise you that.”

I was silent, my heart aching from the pain of crying. My knees threatening to buckle from beneath me at any moment, to fall back into Chris’ arms because as much as I hated to admit it, I had felt the same for him, no matter what I said.

But I stood strong, and watched as he walked toward my front door. Before closing it behind him, he turned to look at me one last time.

“My heart is yours, Y/n.” Chris said softly. “It always has been, and always will be.”

“Picture, you're the queen of everything

Far as the eye can see, under your command”

At 19, I had moved with Chris and his brothers to L.A. to pursue a YouTube channel of my own. Having pretty much overnight success, I felt as if I was on top of the world. I had truly made something of myself.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” Chris said, wrapping me in his arms. “You deserve it all, and I will be there with you every step of the way.”

Pulling back from his embrace, I looked into his eyes; the same eyes that looked back at me when we were just 16, confessing our teenage crushes. Now older, they resembled the pride he had, the admiration he held for me; the love we had shared for years, only growing stronger.

“I will be your guardian

When all is crumbling, I'll steady your hand”

“God why did he chose her?”

“She’s just using him for her own gain lmao”

“Idk I think it’s kinda sweet that Chris is doing some charity work”

Reading the comments of Chris’ most recent Instagram post announcing our relationship, had my eyes watering. I was no stranger to the hate, I had been dealing with it since I was featured in one of the Triplets YouTube videos. The speculation that I might be dating one of them, the hate had spread all over my social medias; but this time was ten times worse.

With the confirmation of our love, the internet responded with hate. Burying my face into my knees, I let the tears flow freely, something I had never done. I knew it was pointless to cry, but I couldn’t help it; everyone has their breaking points, and this one was mine.

“Y/n! I’m back from the st-” Chris stops at the sight of me crying on his bedroom floor. “Oh, baby what’s wrong?” He asks, putting a finger under my chin so I revealed my face to him.

“It’s stupid.” I said, wiping my eyes. “Really, I’m fine, just stressed.”

Chris looked at me quizzically before eyeing the phone beside me, Instagram comments still open.

“Oh Y/n,” He said, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. He grabbed my phone, scanning the comments himself, scoffing to himself. “I hope you aren’t actually taking these to heart.”

He picked me up, holding me in his arms. “You, Y/n L/n, are the most beautiful girl in the world, with the most infectious laugh I’ve ever heard. You are everything to me, no matter what anyone says or thinks. I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. So don’t let that bullshit get to you, because that’s all it is, bullshit.”

By this point I’m laughing, my arms wrapped around his neck. “You done?” I asked.

“Do you believe me?” Chris asked. “Because if not, I’m gonna be forced to keep reminding you how much I love you.”

“We're growing apart…”

Navigating our relationship since we had gone public had been hard. With all the retaliation from his fans pouring in, it became hard for me to listen to Chris, opposed to the thousands of others who wanted to see our relationship to break.

“Chris,” I say, standing in the doorway of his room. “I think we need to take a break.”

Looking up from his phone, his eyes wide. He approaches me. “What, why?” He asks, bewildered.

I sigh, fighting the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. “I just…I need time.” I whisper. “This is all so much, it’s taking a toll on me.”

I look up to see a tears in Chris’ eyes. Placing a hand on my cheek, he pulls me closer. “I never want to hurt you.” He says. “Take all the time you need, I’ll be right here waiting, whenever you’re ready.”

“…but we pull it together

Pull it together, together again”

A month later, and I wish I could’ve said I was doing better. Truthfully, I felt as though I was missing a piece of myself, my other half, my best friend.

Typing out a simple: “I need you.” and hitting send was probably one of the best decisions I had ever made in my entire life. In 5 minutes flat, there was a rapid knocking on my door.

Opening the door, I see Chris, soaking wet from the rain that was beating down on my house. Throwing myself outside into his arms, I couldn’t care less about the rain; I was home.

“Don’t let me go.” I whisper.

“Don’t let me go.” He whispered back, holding me tightly.

[hajihiko]

Ahhh, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I'm curious to know what changed Hajime/Izuru's mind in the universe your art takes place in? Like, what made him go from not caring about anything because everything was boring and meaningless, to trying to enjoy life?

I don't really remember what it was in the anime, but it was probably hope. And like, that makes sense if you think about it, considering that's the definition of hope, but hope doesn't usually just happen like that, you know? Especially not to someone who probably had never felt it since the whole Ultimate Hope thing (ironically). In my mind, it's hard to imagine what it could have been, considering nothing ever phased him. I know that whatever gave him hope doesn't have to be that deep, because that's how it is sometimes, but I was wondering what you think it could have been (or more importantly, what you consider it to be in your art)!

Also, this is kinda unrelated, but I find it so cool how much your art makes me really think about the characters. It's amazing how you're able to really see how you've fleshed out the characters through you art, and honestly, you are probably one of my favourite artists because of it.

But anyway, sorry about this long and random rant 😭 Idk why I spend my time analyzing the character and point of view of fictional characters, but I guess sometimes the ADHD brain goes brrrrrr.

Thank you for sharing your art; I hope have a great day or night!

depends on the universe! But I'll assume you mean my general post-game stuff.

I've said it somewhere before so if it's old bread to you bear with me, but basically, it was a genuine dedication to face the big horrible awful feelings that come with trauma and life in general, and also the brain boost of getting to skip the slow growing part even for just a while.

My idea is that Izuru and Hajime are not two separate identities, rather, an amnesiac and horribly traumatized boy was given a moniker he didn't care to accept or deny. It's not like he had any other name to go by. That was Izuru Kamukura.

The brain has these neural pathways of how it responds to things, and his all got burnt out so he could respond with an appropriate talent each time. As a very simplified example, someone might respon to threat with the Flight response, because it worked in a dire situation and the brain decided "that saved us, this is how we will respond from now on".

Hajime, in the game, gets a sudden bump out of those pathways, enabling him to feel things properly and be fully present in his life. Thematically, the big Super Sayian moment is him deciding to not fall into old, but true and tried, brain patterns, and instead taking on the horrific experience of being human, with all the messy Emotions and Failures that comes with it.

When he wakes up from the game, he still struggles, but the artificial boost from his old thinking as well as a conscious, strenuous, painful effort to not repress himself anymore but instead face the things that he did and were done to him, make him able to carve himself into a new Him.

Not the same, in the sense that WHO could say they're the same as they were before a simulated murder game that revealed that you were a killing machine terrorist and so were your friends. But the same as in, he's Hajime Hinata and he decides what exactly that means. To want is an emotion, and he wants to become someone who can experience life fully, and chasing that single feeling of Want opens up the doors to everything else. You might've heard this before but "before you change, you have to want to change".

So in short. What enabled him to get Hopeful so to speak was the combination of a brain kick (you could call that a metaphor for outside help), and a concrete decision to try to do the difficult but right thing. Sounds kind of boring maybe, but everything else comes later - like his interest and care for his friends, an enjoyment of philosophy and the arts, a pleasure from being useful and helpful, a serenity from accepting things as they are, and a thrill that comes with strong genuine emotion (from my own life, sometimes a single moment of !!!! can carry you on for months).

Yes the whole thing is a metaphor for getting better with mental health stuff. It's personal to me okay 😂

(also I like the idea from Miggys fic that his human connections override the apathy and distance so as long as he's around the people he loves he can hold onto what keeps him going)

I love thinking about and building on characters too! Spending tons of time inspecting them like a specimen 🤝 people (and therefore characters) are very interesting to me so I just like rolling them around my brain. Thank you for your interest and kind words!

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[itslittlegiggle]

vega omg i need to hear ALL your aot thoughts im obsessing so hard over this show (/not forced)

*cracks knuckles* let's gaoux (thx for being patient bb)

I feel like this is going to be So Unorganized but I just have so many thoughts that it's inevitable at this point lol

so first off,,

as you can obviously tell, armin is my CHILD. my son. my reason for being tbh. so I'm gonna start with him

I love the idea of armin being like, stupid ticklish. he gives like "you just look ticklish" vibes, impossible to fight me on this. obv eren tickles him the most, and sometimes mikasa, ever since then were kids. also reiner tickles him fairly often (lowkey realllllly love reimin or arurei or whatever their ship name is lol), and jean also to a lesser extent (also love jearmin!). armin is really ticklish everywhere but his thighs are his WORST spot, like he just breaks down into helpless squealing laughter. his knees and hips and sides are also pretty bad. idek man I'll probably have to make a separate post for him sometime bc I have 1000000000 thoughts tbh and I want to do other characters in this post too hahaha

EREN okay eren. I'm always torn between his ribs and his neck and his tumby for his worst spot, depends on my mood I guess lol but he is also ticklish everywhere. he is DRAMATIC when he's tickled, like he yells and swears and makes threats, even when it's just someone like armin or mikasa tickling him which he doesn't even really mind. when it's someone like jean tho he goes actually feral, will bite 100%. is also totally the person to deny he's ticklish, like armin will poke his ribs to get his attention (not even meaning to tickle him) and eren will YELP and when connie or someone is like "woah, are you okay?" mikasa will just go "oh yeah he's fine, he's just really ticklish" and eren goes red and he's like "SHUT UP MIKASA NO I'M NOT" also will probably have to make an eremin specific post at some point lol

okay reiner. literally reiner is the best ler, he's so fun but careful and he's def the resident tickle monster (so is connie but in a more annoying way lmao). tickles armin quite a bit, like he's made it his mission to make armin smile (bc armin is CUTE), but he's more like fun and gentle when tickling armin. when it's eren or berthold or connie he's way meaner lmao like he will make them scream on principle alone. reiner is most ticklish on the backs of his ribs, makes him laugh super LOUD and DEEP and it's actually awesome. but bc he can turn the tables so easily if the others want to get him good for longer than 10 seconds they have to like, dogpile him lol

random segue to levi, idk I just thought of him next lol. most ticklish on his hips and the sides of his back. like if erwin really wants to make him squirm he'll tickle the sides of levi's back suuuuper gently with his nails until levi actually whines (and then punches him lmao). honestly canon-verse I don't think anyone tries tickling him.. in a head canon-verse where he and erwin are together (like the hc I just gave lol) I feel like erwin tickles him a lot when they're cuddling or early in the morning, whenever levi's guard/aggression is down more, and his laugh is all stutter-y and raspy and it's actually really really cute. these are pretty much my only thoughts on levi bc I feel like his character is hard to add tickles to without it being super out of character (super impressed when people write tickle fics with levi that actually feel levi-esque, definitely not something I could accomplish so it always leaves me in awe) , but they're Very Important to me and I stand by them!!!

ummmmm okay I have so many more TOO MANY MORE this is too chaotic. I could make this 10000 pages long

KAZ PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT SPECIFIC CHARACTER OR SCENARIO OR EXTENSIONS OF THESE IN MIND FOR HEADCANONS OKAY I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS AND I HAVE UNLIMITED THOUGHTS FOR MY AOT BABIES!!!!!

[lightlycareless]

but what reaction would the zenins have , especially naoaki 😳🤯 with the babies

Hi!!! I'm going with the twin girls au :> although these can be in general 🤔

Off we go to the reactions from the rest of the estate.

Being real, I think most of the clan would not like the fact that the heir had two girls to begin with. However, since Naoya and Y/N are known for being strong sorcerers by themselves, it was only natural that their kids would inherit those talents.

However, they'd still find a way to make them feel less, either by giving backhanded compliments, or voicing how a "son" would've been much better.

Naoya would immediately shut down those comments. We're talking about a man that has now learned how wrong his family is (in more ways than one) and having suffered from similar comments in the past, understands all too well how hurtful they could be, so he tries to shield his children the best he can.

As for reactions, let me put it like this:

Mai and Maki would love your kids, cause they love you very much :> there's no denying that. Would play with them as often as possible, they're like (are) the cool aunts. SPECIALLY if they're girl twins like them, it's probably the first time they ever felt happy with being twins I reckon.

Junko, Mai and Maki's mom, would keep her distance. It's not like she dislikes the kids, she just feels uncomfortable—however, she would like to watch the babies from time to time, silently gush at how adorable they are and remind her of when her daughters were babies too.

Ogi couldn't care less—in fact, I think he'd hate them just because they're a reminder of what he could've had, but didn't. No one allows him to get close to the kids, not even his wife.

Jinichi is in complete awe that Naoya would want to have kids in the first place, but not surprised that he went through with it. He's very precise when it comes those things, and from there he'll just stare at him and you whenever interacting with the kids—idk, he still doesn't believe it's happening. I guess in my mind he never considered that his family would want to have kids (Toji is like the prime example of that)

Naobito is... idk. He never really cared about having kids, so anything about lineage and whatnot is irrelevant to him, but I guess that in the deep confines of his mind he likes the fact of having grandchildren. Specially if they're strong, he'd be very proud of them, show off that they're related to him and whatnot. Do not expect him to be involved, and honestly? You and Naoya are kind of happy he isn't.

As for Naoaki, Naoya's oldest brother... he'd be shocked that the two eventually made amends, enough to have a family together. He just never thought the two were each other's type, or that it was in Naoya's plans to become a father. But it happened, and he just keeps his distance as well. Maybe he hoped he'd be that man, the one to have your kids or something, who knows. Either way, in the short moments he'll be able to see the kid, he'll note that they look like you, as maybe even hope that they act like you too. This whole situation is 100% the reason he stops talking to you all together. It's the official closure of that chapter.

And I don't think I'm missing any other relevant character :> I'd say that most of Naoya's brother would be somewhat confused that Naoya is possible of having adorable children or something hahaha although everyone thinks it's thanks to your genes 😂

Thank you so much for indulging me with this ask!! I want more baby stuff :') I'll see what I can write.

Have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀This Is My Fault, Guys...🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 10 “Popping Trust”

Hello and hope y'all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I wasn't too big on last episode. I will definitely say I prefer Season 1. But some of y'all told me it gets... interesting from here on out.

And since we're at four episodes left. Maybe.

NO I DON'T HAVE PTSD FROM ANOTHER EPISODE 10 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Also, I got informed that Aiden DID in fact apologize to Karol.

If you saw my answer to that ask, I basically said: "Cool. Too bad I had to be told that outside of the show to know that."

It does, you know, tell me that Aiden doesn't apologize on the show at any point.

And hey, IF I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and he at the very least SAYS he apologized to her in a later episode.

But I am going to say this:

I KNOW these greetings exist as Q&As.

For right now, I do not care about these, nor am I watching these.

Any information I SHOULD know about the story and characters should be IN THE SHOW. Whether shown or told. It's gotta be IN THE SHOW.

Because otherwise, I'm convinced the writers are just making excuses.

If it's about any leisure stuff or stuff that isn't relevant to the plot, that's fine. But if you have to give away vital character information that helps me understand them in a supplemental material thing like a greeting, casual viewers like myself WON'T see these and WON'T know these.

That's where I stand with this.

I don't think that person was lying about Aiden apologizing to Karol. I think that was legit. I just wanted to clarify why I responded the way I did.

Good for Aiden for not being the worst though.

(Jake is still my best boy)

The two I'm the most interested in is Rosa and Riya. They have the plotline I care the most about. Especially Riya after last episode.

Is it bad I don't care about the others...?

Maybe not 'don't care' as in 'dislike'. Hunter's okay even if I'm disappointed he wasn't actually aro. (Not a deal breaker) I want to see Aiden not suffer for once. And James... yeah no he can fuck off.

Anyway, that's enough of me babbling, let's get into the episode:

Oh wait are we final five?!

Oh shit I didn't realize that...

Oh.

Oh I hate it.

I have something for cuddling, okay? I see art of a couple cuddling, I am in awe. (I wouldn't say a kink cause I'm asexual, so I don't really feel turned on by things)

So I'm CONFLICTED right now cause I'm torn between "Oh this is so cute" and "Oh I hate it let go of him James"

"It seems like we fell asleep watching the movie."

What movie? Where'd you get a movie screen in the cabin?

"If we hadn't watched that cheesy drama movie, that wouldn't have happened."

"Oh sorry, some of us like art and not just those bloodbaths you call horror movies."

Oho! They're bickering like an old married couple! That MUST mean they're in love!! That must mean they're healthy now!

"Have you seen my phone?"

"I made you watch the movie so you'd fall asleep. Then I stole it. And SMASHED IT. AND BURNED IT. AND THREW IT IN THE LAKE. AND TOOK IT TO THE HOSPITAL WITH KAROL!!"

"Hey man, didn't your mom ever tell you that you shouldn't play with your food?"

Rosa, I don't think that's how you greet people.

"Are you okay, Hunter?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just voted off my not girlfriend. That's all."

Idk, I feel like they were so close to making Hunter's story interesting by subverting the plotline a bit. By making him aromantic and struggling to feel the romance the girls feel about him.

But no. It was just a typical love triangle of which girl he wants.

All I'll say is that while I'm not offended by the in paper route they took with this storyline, if I was writing this season and this plotline, I would've had Hunter have a queer crisis and realize he's aromantic, struggle to come out to the girls, and Allyson and Tess bond and find love in each other, bis gotta stick together, and in the end the three accept each other as one happy consensual polycule. Not in the norm of what you expect from a straight relationship, but a found family that satisfies all of them.

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

Wow. Don't do Rosa like that. She offered to listen.

"How is the best intern in the world?"

Oh she is desperate to be nice XD

She even feeds him! She's already better than Chris!

"Om."

XD

Okay the way he sounded when he took that bite was not normal XD

Omg the voice acting in this show sometimes XD

I think since I expected it to be bad, I'm not AS bothered by it, except maybe a few lines. Sometimes it's so bad it's funny, you know what I mean?

I mean it's better in Season 1, obviously.

"All this good treatment feels kind of... strange..."

I KNOW. A boss treats their co-workers fairly and kindly?! Who ever heard such a thing?!

I mean I shouldn't talk. Cause in my work place, my bosses actually consider my feelings and make sure I'm doing well!

"But I think if I win, I will invest all the money in my daughter's future."

And that's why I'm routing for Rosa to win. She deserves it.

"I'm here."

Oh geez.

"I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE, HUH AIDEN?!?!? WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?!?!"

Every time, I swear. Aiden CANNOT talk to ANYONE else besides James.

"I was looking for my perfume, but I think I lost it."

Awwww, honey, nooooooo, I'm sorry.

Okay so there's a thief running amuck.

I thought it would be Riya, but if she lost something too, then maybe it's Hunter and he's trying to get the two alliances to turn on each other so he can stay in the game.

Or Riya or James are bluffing.

"Hunter can't win today's challenge."

Yes. Thank you. He's the only guy that's won immunity all merge.

For bullshit reasons very time.

"Wouldn't that be playing dirty?"

Rosa, no. That IS a valid, impersonal, and good game strategy to have.

It's not like we're killing him.

"I know how to differentiate the game from friendship, but that doesn't mean we should play dirty. And the way everyone accepts so easily scares me a little."

Omg Rosa I love you.

I LOVE how genuine she is compared to everyone else. It's so refreshing.

She's genuine but she's also not stupid, you know?

*Gets a golf ad*

XD

Rosa, you don't want to play the game dirty, go play golf instead!

"Excellent work Oliver..."

XD

"Yaaaaaayyy, that's so great, I LOVE safety..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Same, girl.

"James, Aiden, and Riya have agreed to align the challenge for you to be eliminated."

YO WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THIS?!

"I understand. I would have done the same if I were Tess and Ally."

Oh, he's cool.

GIRL YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD.

"James, I know you're just upset about losing your phone, but we need to focus on finding Hunter."

Yeah James, it's called withdrawal!

If their plan fails because James is too pissed about his phone, that's ANOTHER point against him.

"What if I told you I didn't lose it?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

XD

I'm sorry XD

I KNOW what he's about to say, but I get this out of context thing in my head.

"You didn't lose it?"

"I didn't lose it."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I didn't lose it."

"I know you didn't lose it. how did you not lose it?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

"Can you say SOMETHING besides you didn't lose it PLEASE?!?!"

"...pumpkin pie."

Idk.

"That's a very serious and rushed assumption."

Yes it is.

One time in school, I lost a highlighter, and I immediately came to the conclusion someone stole it.

Turns out whoever did it smashed it on the floor so I couldn't find it.

And I got accused of false accusations.

I had an AWFUL school life and EVERYONE HATED ME.

Yes even teachers hated me.

"And who do you think did it?"

"You tell me. Who is the only person in the camp with that background."

😨

NO.

UH UH.

NO.

DON'T YOU DARE.

She has an idol! She can just play it!

OH GOD HE'S FERAL.

"What's wrong with that guy?"

YOU'RE TARGETING HIM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

"Your stress levels say otherwise."

Wait, is being nice KILLING her?!

Holy shit, THAT'S why McCleans are sociopaths! Because if they're nice they DIE!

"I felt bad that the four of us were attacking him."

You're too good for this game!

"This is ridiculous. It's like Hunter had prepared beforehand."

Let's be fair.

Even if Rosa DIDN'T tell him, if Hunter had a brain, he'd figure out that the others would be targeting him. So he'd play like this anyway.

"Excellent Rosa! Just like we planned!"

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

"It's just a game. You did what you thought was right for you and it doesn't bother me at all."

Aw that's sweet.

"You warned me of your joint attack even if it hurt your alliance. You're a good person."

Yeah, about that...

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU GUYS ARE BAD SHOTS

"It's time to hunt down Hunter!"

👏

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

UH, HE DROWNED.

How do you keep the balloon underwater?

"The camper with the most intact balloons wins."

Oh okay, so don't shoot. Rosa and James have two.

Sorry, Rosa and AIDEN have two, my bad.

I'm not high this time, I swear.

"Let's wait for time to run out, and let Aiden win."

That is a perfect plan.

YOU FUCKING BITCH

YOU MOTHERFUCKING HYPOCRITE

Murder him. Murder him. Murder him.

Don't actually murder him, but slay him! SLAY HIM!

THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU JUST SUGGESTED YOU BITCH

SHE IS YOUR ALLY!!

JAMES, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

"And that was for stealing my phone!"

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SHE STOLE YOUR PHONE

YOU JUST DECIDED TO ACCUSE HER, WITH YOUR ONLY PROOF BEING "Well she shoplifted before"

I HATE YOU JAMES

If James gets away with this, let alone wins, I fucking hate this season.

Okay maybe that'd be too mean. But I wouldn't like it.

And now you all lose.

Good job.

Good FUCKING JOB.

...wait what?

NO WAIT I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

IT'S RIYA, IT'S GOTTA BE RIYA BECAUSE RIYA WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH ROSA THE WHOLE TIME AND COULD SHOVE THAT STUFF IN HER BAG-

SHE SABOTAGED ROSA

OH MY GOD...

DID MY QUEEN SLAY?!??!

DID SHE MISUSE HER SLAY PASS?!?!?

Wait... how many slay passes did I give her again?

No no, I don't care that Hunter won. Big whoopty do. I need to see how many slay passes I gave Riya throughout the season.

THIS IS TOTALLY MORE IMPORTANT

"I... want Yul to go to the Orange team."

YUUUUUUUUUUSSSS

SLAY QUEEN

SLAY QUEEN👑

DUMP HIS ASS ON THE LOSING TEAM AND GET RID OF HIS ASS

Counter: 2

"We can dominate the game together and you can beat the shit out of us in the semi-final."

Oh so you WANT to lose to Riya?

Heyo, don't tempt her to slay, Rosa. SHE'LL DO IT.

"Huh, now that you're encouraging me to slay, I think maybe I should slay, you know? Helps with my broke-ass career. People LOVE IT when people SLAY."

Counter: 5

I'm sorry for the disrespect, Riya! You can slay! This is my way of saying sorry, queen!

I love Rosa and don't want anyone to slay her, but I'm also like "DO IT YOU WON'T. DO IT YOU WON'T."

Counter: 7

"Karol is right. I must not forget my goal. I haven't stopped failing in my work, that's why I came here. This is my last chance to be someone! And I don't want to return to India with my family!"

SLAY GIRL!! SLAY!!

Counter: 9

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

Counter: 10

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

Counter: 12

I mean, it wasn't as many times as I said 'Steal The Idol'

Which, I'm pretty sure THAT counter is a meme on my Disventure Camp Blogs now...

(Either me or someone should do a counter of how many times I said something along the lines of 'steal the idol' throughout these reaction posts)

BUT STILL.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MY FAULT

I MEANT SLAY AS IN FLEX HOW GORGEOUS AND SASSY YOU ARE 💅

I DIDN'T MEAN SLAY AS IN BETRAYAL🔪

I could be babbling about nothing cause they didn't say she did this yet. Then I'm making a lunatic out of myself.

BUT DID I FREAKING CALL IT FROM WHAT, EPISODE 3? (Yes, it was Episode 3)

"You better pack your bags, because you're leaving tonight."

GODDAMMIT BUT I ALSO LOVE ROSA AND DON'T WANT HER TO GO.

I'M SO TORN.

I mean, she has Hunter on her side, right? So if Riya doesn't flip she's fine and they can boot James here.

GEE, IF ONLY ROSA HAD AN IDOL OR SOMETHING THAT COULD NULIFY THE VOTES.

IF ONLY, AM I RIGHT?

Add that to the counter.

UGH HONEY NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO

I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA WIN

WHAT ABOUT HER DAUGHTER?!

"It's about Tess and Ally, they both like me. I think I feel the same way about them too."

HUNTER THEY'RE GONE, I DON'T CARE

I'M CONCERNED FOR ROSA

"If the three of you are happy together, why change it?"

THANK YOU ROSA.

"I don't know, because it's normal, right?"

This man doesn't know what the LGBTQIA+ Community is, I swear.

"Connor said I had to pick one."

Well screw Connor, who cares?

"Maybe it was inappropriate to bother you with my problems."

You and Jake would get along.

And you and me, probably.

But YEAH. I want the focus to be on ROSA.

"I wouldn't worry about that."

"Yeah, unfortunately, I don't have any advantages on me that had the power to negate the votes against me... you know, like an immunity idol or something. It's very unfortunate."

YEAH, SHE'S DYING. SHE'S ACTUALLY DYING FROM GOODNESS.

"If someone has a totem..."

SAY NO MORE!

"Me! I have an immunity totem and I want to use it now!"

LET'S GO!

"It's right... here? What?"

YOU DIDN'T CHECK YOUR POCKETS BEFORE YOU GOT TO TRIBAL?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?

ROSA NOOOO

I WAS SARCASTIC

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC BACK THERE, I THOUGHT SHE ACTUALLY HAD IT

THIS IS MY FAULT, NOOOO

"Did someone steal it from you?"

Of course no one steals idols around here. Because nobody here takes my advice ever.

Also fuck off, James.

'ROSA'

🎵I fucking hate my life and everyone here...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵I hope it's James but I think it won't because🎵

🎵Because these shows fucking hate me...🎵

🎵Why the hell am I singing? I have no idea🎵

'ROSA'

🎵Maybe cause I don't want to listen to this BULLSHIT🎵

🎵Lalalalalala I'm not listening...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵PLEEEEEEEEEEESSEEEE OH BAAAAAAAABBBYYY DON'T GO🎵

🎵SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOU'RE-🎵

😭

I'm not actually crying, that's just the emoji. Imagine me making a whining roar that sounds like a dying cat.

I THOUGHT ROSA WAS GONNA WIN

I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU

HER DAUGHTER TOO, OH MY GOD

SHE CAME HERE FOR HER DAUGHTER

"I just want to say that I'm leaving with a clear conscience. I played fair, I did the right thing, helped everyone I could, and didn't steal anything!"

Tell em.

GIRL HAD A FOOLPROOF GAME STRAT, AND SHE STILL LOST.

She had a secure locked in alliance. The team swap did not shake her. She got along with everyone to prevent herself as a target. She was a strong player. She was finding idols.

SHE HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR HER.

AND SHE STILL LOST.

"I don't know what happened, but you have to be careful of James."

I know, right?

"Don't worry, I have a plan to deal with James."

AS SHE SHOULD SLAY.

"Riya, I didn't steal anything."

"I know, Rosa. It was me."

*I got up and paced around*

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

I KNEW IT!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I CALLED IT!!!!!

I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!!!

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

I WAS RIGHT?!?!??!

Guys, I swear this is blind. I swear. I swear on my oath.

Look. There's NO BAR ON THE FUTURE EPISODES.

THIS IS BLIND. I SWEAR. I DID NOT KNOW.

THIS IS PROOF.

DON'T THROW ACCUSATIONS.

RIIIIIIIIYYYYAAAAAAA

WHY DID YOU SLLAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY?!?!??!

WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO ME?!??!?!??!

I'm torn.

I'm so torn.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT MY BEST GIRL SLAYING MY OTHER BEST GIRL?!?!

Do I side with Riya going forward??? I-I don't know-I feel like I have to! I feel like because it's my fault, I'm OBLIGATED to side with her!!

She has me wrapped around her finger!! I don't know what to do! Because I want to hate her, but I JUST CAN'T!

I don't know what the popular take on Riya is. I only knew what the takes were on Ellie and Jake. I knew people hated Jake. BUT I LOVED HIM. I knew SHIT about the Season 2 cast.

But I NEED to PROCESS THIS...

RIYA I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE YOU OR I LOVE HATING YOU OR I HATE LOVING YOU, YOU HAVE ME QUESTIONING MY SANITY, GIRL!!!

ARE YOU EVIL?! IS THAT IT?! Or are you just playing the game?

"I stole James' phone and put it in your backpack along with my perfume. I also took your immunity totem."

...

Okay?

Idk what you want me to say. I have nothing to say about that.

"Did you frame me?!"

What do you think she's trying to say? She's coming clean.

"Did you make me look like a thief in front of everyone?"

I mean that SUCKS because Rosa had to steal to survive, so this is some TRAUMA for her.

But also, getting pissed over a PHONE, I think is still on James.

Holy shit I'm defending Riya right now-holy shit I AM stanning her still, oh shit...

Oh no... oh no what has happened to me...?

"I was acting, Rosa. The boys didn't doubt it for a second."

I mean she's right. I can't say that's invalid of a strat.

"Riya, why did you do this to me?"

"We can betray each other inside the game and still be friends outside of it. Just like you betrayed the alliance by spoiling the plan to Hunter."

I... SOUND. Okay. That's sound.

CAUSE HEY, JAMES CAN PUT PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL AND CALL IT A STRAT, BUT RIYA CAN'T? LET'S BE REAL NOW.

"These are things that happen in this game."

Yeah. Yes it is.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

"The problem isn't the game. It's you Riya."

OH SHIT.

"You let the competition change you. You may win the million, but you will be alone again."

OH SHIT...

SO THAT'S WHERE THIS IS GOING...

"Come on Rosa! Don't be mad!"

"Hmph, I am not mad, I am disappointed."

SHIT...

And that's it.

She lost her ONLY friend here.

SHE'S SO UPSET ABOUT IT, OH MY GOD...

"Everything went as planned. When I stole the things, I didn't know whether to blame Hunter or Rosa, but I came up with a plan that could take me far, and unfortunately, I had to sacrifice Rosa."

I mean, I have to give mad respect that she's owning up to it.

"Yeah. I played dirty. Whatcha gonna do about it? I AM A QUEEN AND I HAVE GOLDEN'S SLAYING SUPPORT. I HAVE A RIGHT!"

Oh the goodness killed her. Well, RIP.

Okay, after thinking about it... HOLY SHIT RIYA IS SMART.

Seriously, think about it!

Final FIVE. Hunter KEEPS winning immunity no matter what they try.

Sure, she's allied with James and Aiden as well, BUT if Hunter wins immunity, which is what ended up happening, James and Aiden WON'T turn on each other.

So it'd either be her or Rosa. And since everyone likes Rosa, then Riya would go 5th place if she did nothing.

So her best move was to pin the blame on Rosa and get everyone to turn on her.

And if they find out she did this or Hunter wins immunity again? DOESN'T MATTER. SHE'S GUARANTEED FINALS ANYWAY.

IT'S ACTUALLY SO SMART.

I mean, I HATE this plan because it sacrifices Rosa, WHO DESERVED TO WIN OUT OF ALL THESE GUYS.

BUT

I HAVE to respect the hell out of her.

Oh my god I love Riya... I-guys, I think I might be supporting Riya.

I genuinely want Riya to win this season.

I get she might be evil, but it's Total Drama so who cares look what show you're watching, BUT THAT WOULD BE SO POETIC AND BRILLIANT.

She came here as an outsider outcast with no social life and desperately wanted it. But because of the game and what her career needed to succeed, she had to ditch both that and her morality so she could find success.

SHE WINS AND SHE SLAYS, BUT SHE WON'T BE HAPPY. HER LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE AND AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF ACTING SHE CAN'T BREAK FROM.

I WANT RIYA TO WIN NOW. THAT WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT ENDING. TOTAL DRAMA WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

As much as I would LOVE it if Julia had something like that, but you know, Season 2 of the TDI Reboot fell off the deep end at the third act. I KINDA warmed up to it, but I still don't like the last third of that season. (Episodes 1-8 were great though)

I feel like I'm obligated to as well, because I'm the one that kept telling her to slay. So I've been pushing it XD.

But yeah, RIYA SUPPORTER AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THIS WOMAN SHOULD WIN AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD SLAY AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD GET HER UNHAPPY ENDING.

YOU WANT TO WIN THIS GAME, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO DESTROY THESE BOYS, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO BE A COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT GOING FORWARD, I WILL PROBABLY BE TOO STUBBORN TO HATE YOU.

I'm a damn hypocrite for this, aren't I? How the fuck is James still here?

Also NOOOOO ROSA I'M SORRY

Rosa was so good too... it sucks. It sucks so much. I LOVED Rosa. She deserved to win, too. And I thought she was gonna win.

She was kinda giving me Owen and Wayne energy. Except she was actually a bit strategic with her alliances and finding idols and making good terms with everyone. She would've been a GREAT winner.

AND SHE HAD A SYMPATHETIC MOTIVE TO HELP HER DAUGHTER. LIKE, WHYYYY?!??!

Though let's be real. Riya hurt her personally. Riya could donate the ENTIRETY of the million dollars to Rosa if she wanted, and Rosa STILL would not forgive her or accept her back.

So props for Rosa having a backbone.

Alright, this show got my interest again. I want to see how this plays out. I'm supporting a mastermind, oh my god...

[irkimatsu]

Idk if you ever thought about this but how would Husk react if his S/O was super self-conscious about their body? Whether thinking they’re way too skinny or way too fat. I feel like you, as the Husk professional, would know how to answer this because I am the exact opposite of a Husk professional. Much better with Angel Dust tbh.

Oh, trust me, as a certified fatass I have thought about this constantly. How would Husk feel about body types that aren't traditionally attractive?

Thankfully for me, my immediate instinct is that he doesn't care so much - sure, he has some physical preferences, but personality wins over everything else. It's part of why he's not swayed by Angel's initial flirting, I feel. He acknowledges that Angel is physically attractive, but the tryhard flirting was way too much of a turnoff. Conversely, even if he's not immediately drawn to someone's physical appearance, getting to know someone on a deeply personal level will attract him far harder than initial appearance ever could.

Not to say he doesn't see anything attractive in those non-traditional body types, of course. I do headcanon him as liking some squish on a partner for my own personal enjoyment, after all. Especially in the ass department. Husk hates to see you go but he loves watching you leave.

As for self-consciousness... trust me, he knows self-consciousness. I can go with him either being too skinny or overweight; either body type is the result of his awful self-care, especially ever since he lost the bet with Alastor. He drinks too much alcohol, he doesn't eat enough, and what he does eat has no nutritional value whatsoever. Any physical stamina he still has is bolstered by his innate demon powers; his muscles have all atrophied by now. But at the same time, we already know how Husk feels about wallowing alone in self-pity.

"You're not the only one down here who hates their body. Look at what I've done with mine! I got a second body after I destroyed my living one, and now I've gone and fucked this one up too. Maybe your choices led to how you look now, or maybe you just got saddled with a shitty form down here... but either way, hating yourself for it isn't going to get you anywhere. Who even benefits from your self-pity, anyway? Predatory jackasses who wanna sell you shit with the promise that it'll change you?

...I hope you don't feel like you need to change your body just for me. I like ya just the way you are. Love at first sight ain't my style anymore, but after I got to know you... just knowing who you are makes you the most beautiful person I've ever seen, both up there and down here. And besides, I've shown you exactly how I feel about my favorite parts of you plenty of times, haven't I, baby? Maybe I should remind you some more later tonight...?

If you wanna change, I'll support you. I know change is hard - fuck I know it's hard - but I'll be here for you through all of it. You just need to promise me that you're not doing it because you think you're not good enough for me already. And you also have to promise me that you're not going to go buying some shady instant cure potions from the first scumbag you see on TV! You can't trust any of 'em!"

(Thanks for considering me a Husk professional, by the way! I try my best! <3 In turn, thank you for your service with Angel Dust! I try my best by him but I'm always terrified I'll fuck it up... he deserves the best writing I can give him, but I know there's aspects of his life I'll never fully understand and I should be fucking grateful that I don't...)