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andrewmoocow · 4 years ago

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #peridot

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chac-ozai · 5 years ago

Photo

WYD 2nite (Dadsona/Robert Small) drawn and written for @maxamillionbillion who liked the idea of Robert showing up to your house in his pajamas looking to chill.

Fic below cut>>>

He always does like to show up unannounced. Who the hell am I to turn him away? Man, it's late though, I check the clock and it's past midnight, and for someone who's getting as much grays as I am, that's just as good as being morning already...and that's juuuust when Robert gets going.

The house is empty, ever since Amanda left. When I get to the door, shuffling like the old man I'm becoming, it's already open. Robert's standing there in his pajamas, perched against the doorframe holding what I hope is my last copy Fortean Times he “borrowed” last week.

“Did you just pick my lock?” I ask- I wouldn't hold it over Robert honestly if he knew how. “-Or am I just being an idiot and leaving it unlocked again?”

“What, I never told you about the time I broke myself out of the pen in Gibraltar? 1978? Eh? Doesn't ring a bell?” Rob invites himself in, my eyes trail his pajama-clad legs and notice that the bottoms of his bare feet are green from a freshly mowed lawn.

“If you did, you're gonna have to tell me again.”

“Psh, It's old news. I'm lying by the way, you left your door open.” Robert had a package of lite-sodium popcorn in his tattooed hand, he stretches and rubs his graying hair vigorously as he throws the package onto my kitchen table as if he owned the place. “-And I thought I was the one losing my memory.”

“...Would you have broken the lock if I didn't answer the door?” I throw myself on the couch with plenty of room on the other side where Robert had recently been making “his spot”, it was right where Amanda used to sit when we would marathon Baked, Naked, and Caked on Netflix.

“Nah, wouldn't need to. Your windows are unlocked, too.” Robert presented this fact by easily swinging open my kitchen window, a smarmy little grin on his face.

“Well then, I guess the place is yours.” I have to admit it, “Where's Betsy?”

“Taking a dump on your lawn.” Robert reaches into my fridge and invites himself to my precious seltzer, I peek behind me out the still-open door and lo and behold there she was, beady little terrier eyes catching the light from my perfect, perfect lawn.

“Ah shit. I ain't going out there for that. Come on Bobby, if you're going to raid my fridge at least close the front door.”

“Ooooh~” Robert flailed his hands beside his head, mimicking a fussy Brooklyn mother “Yer gunna let the spiduhs in, Bobby.” After Betsy comes scrambling in, he kicks the door closed and leaves a tiny green smudge on the wood. Whatever, he's cute and he gets away with more shit than I should let him get away with.

“You'se the one who doesn't like spiduhs.” I mimic him, man that accent cracks me up. “So what's the occasion tonight? Anything worth keeping me up until 5 am this time?”

“Come on, every occasion is worth that amount of your time. Look,” He procured a USB stick from his pajama pocket- “I pirated the latest season of Forensic Files.”

“Oh great, this will definitely get me locking my doors and windows.” I stretch and watch as Robert squats in front of my TV, fiddling with the system he'd rigged up for us, cracking open his drink the meantime. My dad instincts tell him to keep the soda away from the electronics, but by the time I muster up anything to say he's already raising the volume on my TV, snapping his fingers in accomplishment.

“Aight. Aight, I think this is good. Sit tight, I'm gonna microwave this popcorn.”

“Aight.” I mimic him again, helplessly grinning as my best friend made full use of my kitchen. Betsy made herself welcome right on my lap for the two minutes that transpired of gradual pops turning into a cacophony of corn bursting from their husks. Robert was seemingly just staring at it spin in the machine, watching the bag bloat out, his mind somewhere else.

“Soo....how was therapy today?” I feel obligated to ask, I was the one who talked him into it.

“You know what? Not bad.” Robert cracks his neck, and after a brief incident of him futzing with the hot bag and almost dropping it all, he brings it over. “I think I've worked my way up to not talking about movies with her.”

“Well, it's a start.” I laugh, “At least you aren't inserting yourself into the Home Alone storyline anymore.” I practically bounce as Robert throws himself ass-first onto his side of my couch, tucking his feet under the blanket.

“Well it wasn't too far off, there where wet bandits.”

“As you've said.” He and I clink our seltzer's together, my best buddy and I wriggling into our seats and getting comfy.

“Alexa, turn off the lights.” I demand, and Rob's eyes bug out of his head-

“That thing again? Man, you need to shut that thing off, it's harvesting information out of you!” Robert lunges up out of the chair he'd just gotten comfy in and goes to unplug my Alexa, the lights having already gone out.

“What information could it possibly get out of me? How many times a day I take a dump?”

“You fool,you rube.” Robert takes my gadget and throws it under a pillow, effectively suffocating it. “That information is precious and belongs to you and you alone!” Bobby looks a little insane at that moment, something I never get tired of.

“Alright, calm down. Don't get a big dick over it.” Robert makes his way back to the couch and grunts as he throws himself back on it, a testy glance in my direction before pressing play.

“You'll see. One day you will.”

“Uh huh.” I humor him, reaching over and patting his blanket-covered knee. “That'll do, Bobby.”

An air of silence comes over us both as the TV comes to life, we've grown so accustomed to the companionable quiet since we've become best friends. Soon we're engrossed in a gruesome tale, and at times I sneak peeks over at Robert's face, his baby brown eyes reflecting gruesome images from the screen. He may be utterly entranced but I can never reach that level, not when he's across from me like this. He was talking at the screen, gesturing angrily-

“Fuckin moron, should have locked his doors. Anybody could just walk in and- ugh!” He rolls his eyes, I would be lying if I said I didn't love how intense he gets about these true crime shows. Every time he throws his arms out I catch a whiff of his cologne, that subtle freshness and sandalwood.

By the time the first episode was done and the second, and then third came and went, Robert leaps off the couch and makes his way to what I imagine is the bathroom. The light down the hall illuminated some creepy shadows down towards my bedroom, and my hair stands on end- I get up and start locking all the windows in my house.

“Eeeurgh.” I could hear Robert groaning from the bathroom with the door wide open, followed by an anticlimactic fart.

“That was a good one.” I could only laugh, man I hope by the time Amanda comes home for Thanksgiving I won't be regressed to a caveman, the way we two just let everything hang out.

“Don't say that, it sucked. What are you doing?” He reenters the room to see me testing the resilience of my kitchen window lock, I shoot him a guilty look and return to my post on the couch, Betsy having already made her bed for the night on my recliner.

“Oh you know, worrying.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Robert smiles and I kind of melt, kind of. “Alright, back to the show.” Without warning Robert yanks the blanket off of me and throws himself against me, wriggling his bare back against my chest, offering to be my little spoon. He pulls the blanket over us both and remains there without a word-

Man, this is the part of the night I love the most. Robert never admits it, never asks for it, but I know he's learned to appreciate the art of a good cuddle. I'd like to call myself a master, as I wrap my arm loosely around his, feeling the welcoming warmth of his bare skin. He squirms briefly and finds a comfortable place for his head, I don't mind his flyaway hairs blocking half the screen. I ain't worried about the show anymore.

I behave myself. It's hard to sometimes, Robert's cologne smells so good and he's so firm yet soft-skinned; it could bring a man to act on his impulses. I allow myself chaste touches, small comforting circles over his bicep, his hip. The hitching of his breath when I accidentally tickle him distracts me so much I am soon lost to the TV, it's just annoying noise muffling what I really want to hear.

Damn. Thoughts where wandering again. By the time Robert spoke up, his voice was croaky with sleep, he hooked his leg around mine and leans into me hard. “Think you got one more in you?”

“I think there's only so much double homicide I can get into before I start phasing out.”

Robert cranes his neck and turns to look up at me, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted. “Quitter.” He grins, “This'll wake you up.” The bastard suddenly presses the soles of his cold feet against my shins, I stifle a yelp-

“Herrrk- God damn, Fine, one more. One more.”

“Good.”

I don't think I even made it past the opening sequence. By the time I open my eyes again sun is filtering in through the locked windows, Robert was drooling freely onto the hand I had placed under his cheek. Man do I gotta leak, and I'm pretty sure I hear Betsy drinking out of the toilet; but I can't bring myself to budge and wake Bobby. I never could. Huh, wish I could reach my word jumbles from here.

I look at the clock, 5 am. I still have a few hours before work, I'm going to hold onto every second I have of Robert asleep against me as I can.

#Robert Small #Dream Daddy #dadsona #fanfiction #dream daddy fanfic #my gay art #dream daddy fanart

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my-love-peterp · 5 years ago

Text

A Part of Your World pt. 1

Word Count: 1177

Fic Summary: So this is a work based lightly on the movie First Daughter. It’s a Reader Insert sorta. If you've never seen that movie, you should absolutely watch it if you have the opportunity. Peter Parker/Stark!Daughter fic. Rating may change depending on if I'm feeling the smut route (I probably will). Expect updates once a week (as soon as I figure out what day would be best to do it on. They may be more frequent here at the beginning just because the story is really flowing right now. Thanks!

Chapter Summary: A new recruit is brought into the fold and is more than a handful.

Warnings: none!

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, just like any other little girl. And like most little girls, she loved collecting beautiful things.

“Hey Jay!” she shouted in her high-pitched toddler voice, “Look at what I have,” her father’s tools gripped tightly in her chubby toddler fingers before she was swooped up and quickly rebuked, reminded once again that those tools were for grown-ups only, no matter how shiny they were. Moments later, a voice echoed down the huge hallway.

“Major, it’s time to roll out.”

And so the little girl was sat back down and once again left to her own devices. But she wasn’t lonely. This little girl was special for more than one reason. But she had such a natural knack for creating new little novelties, seemingly out of thin air, that each new day she made something spectacular to share. In fact, she was always sharing them with her friends.

“(Y/N), where are you,” a woman’s voice called out tersely. Her high heels clicked down the hallway until the woman stood before a little girl perched on the base of an old robot assistant, with what looked to be a jumble of part and pieces placed delicately in her palm.

“Sorry miss, I was just showing E what I built today. Look!” she exclaimed as she fiddled with a few pieces before the whole thing lit up, flaring various colors, pulsing to an unknown rhythm.

“That’s very nice (Y/N), but it’s time to go, your father is finally home and I need to get you both out the door if we’re going to even have a hope of staying on schedule this time.”

A smile filled the little girls face and then slowly faded as the woman counseled her on schedules and timeliness. There was no such thing as normal father-daughter time anymore. It was just galas and public appearances and board room meeting interrupted by you falling through the vents you’d managed to sneak into yet again.

“Yes ma’am”, (Y/N) murmured, placing her hand in the woman’s and sliding to the ground.

And then it happened. You know that awkward but typical time of life... when you feel like every eye is on you...

Cameras flashed and the press surged in on you seemingly from all sides. It was a miracle you hadn’t developed any claustrophobia at this point.

“(Y/N), look over here,” one reporter after another screamed as they shoved cameras and phones and microphones in your face.

That time of life when you feel like you're the main attraction in a three-ring circus. That's right. She became a teenager. But eventually, she made it through. And as she blossomed, she became more comfortable with herself.

“There she is. Hey, (Y/N). How are you doing?”

By now, she understood that this question was more rhetorical than open-ended, and she was prepared for what came next as she smoothed the silk of her dress’s bodice out before stepping up next to your father’s shoulder.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Sweetie. I'd like you to meet...” Fill in the blank with the name of your local senator, activist, CEO of a Fortune 500 company. (Y/N) had met all of them, she felt like.

And like most teenagers, she enjoyed parties...

The DCCC Christmas party seemed to get more extravagant every year. This year there were no less than four trees that seemed more done-up than the one she could see radiating from her bedroom window, down in Rockefeller Center. Her powder blue sheath dress flared out behind her as she followed her mother, who was draped in a grey satin concoction, through the party, playing the part of the dutiful, uninteresting daughter.

That was until a Senator’s son stole her away and whisked her off to where all the other kids had gone to shelter in place. There, in a back office, someone had smuggled booze and pizza. Being the dutiful daughter, she only indulged in a few pieces of pizza and empty chatter with those who would be her peers, if she were at all like them, before she stepped back out into the hall, in search of her parents. Overall, the best party she’d been to all month.

And like her peers, she often felt as if her every move was scrutinized.

“Hold it right there.” Her parents’ PR coordinator called out as she was readjusted once again by a photographer, draped on a settee, between her parents.

“Big smile, (Y/N).”

It was all smiles or nothing at all.

The TV crackled on overhead as (Y/N) plopped onto a gigantic bean bag with a bowl of popcorn in hand. The scratchy voice of the TV host was the first thing (Y/N) heard.

“Mom, promise me you would never let me leave the house looking like that.”

“Never!” the woman sitting opposite the first replied, “It looks like she found Chelsea Clinton's old crimping iron and Amy Carter's Sassoons.”

On the screen situated between the two ladies was a big picture of (Y/N) leaving her father’s office.

“It's like a terrorist got a hold of her. I don't know what's going on. But what do you think?”

“I’m thinking that even her father was better dressed after he WAS captured by terrorists. Is that insensitive to say?”

“You’re right about that. And now we’d like to hear from you at home! What is the worst outfit that you have ever seen (Y/N) wear?”

“I'll bet it's gonna be close.” “I bet it is too. There have been a lot of lousy outfits.” “If (Y/N/N) is back, get in there and clean out your kid's closet."

But with maturity, she was able to look outside herself and appreciate the wisdom of her elders.

“And I'll tell you something,” the older woman murmured as she leaned down next to (Y/N), who had her knees pulled up to her chest on the couch, waist deep in her newsfeed. “Decades in politics give you special life skills, (Y/N). Like an excellent poker face.” At that moment, to demonstrate, the older woman’s features hardened, eyes going blank, shoulders at a right angle, giving absolutely nothing away.

“Not bad, Senator Feinstein,” (Y/N) nodding appreciatively. “Thank you for the tip.”

In short, she grew up... happily, with the love of a father and a mother who she thought were the center of the world in an old, 63-story tower situated on the 200 block of Park Avenue that they called home.

But her world was changing.

On the morning of the Fourth of July, she knew that it was about to get a whole lot more complicated. (Y/N) Stark decided she wasn’t going to go to MIT or any of the small, highly coveted Ivy League schools her father’s swing and her natural intelligence would most certainly land her in. (Y/N) was going to state school. NYU, to be specific, where she hoped to blend in with her 50,000 new peers.

#reader insert #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!daughter #stark!daughter #stark!daughter x peter parker #non super!AU #politics!AU #The First Daughter AU #college peter parker #college!au

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lynyrdwrites · 6 years ago

Text

The Set Up

Sequel to Sunshine which can be found on my Tumblr or AO3. This is also a fill for a prompt from @sakuttino for Bakusquad/Dekusquad setting Kacchako up.

There are only a few mentions of events from Sunshine, but it still gives a little bit of background.

---

Bakugou was totally scowling.

Ochako was perched on the edge of a fountain, her hands clasped in her lap, watching him out of the corner of her eye. For his part, Bakugou sat a good four feet away from her, his arms crossed, scowling out across the mall’s food court.

The look was intimidating.

Not that she was intimidated. At least… not exactly.

Ochako had been in his presence far more often of late, and had grown to understand that his death scowls didn’t necessarily mean anger – they could mean any sort of emotion, including thoughtful and happiness. Scowls were just Katsuki Bakugou’s go to expression for everything. But, usually, those scowls were tempered by Kirishima’s bright enthusiasm.

So, okay, she might be a little intimidated.

“You don’t need to look like that,” Bakugou barked, and Ochako physically jumped in surprise at the noise. “I’m not gonna bite you or anything.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, an odd expression passed over Bakugou’s face, temporarily replacing the scowl. It lasted only a minute, but Ochako found herself sliding closer to him, just a little, watching his face with curiosity.

“What?” he growled, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

“I just… are you okay? You looked almost sick there for a second.” She quirked her head, and let a smile pull up the corner of her lips. “I mean, don’t worry! It’s not like I was actually worried you were gonna bite me or something!”

Bakugou’s eyes darted forward again and… wait… was he… blushing?

It was faint, so very faint and Ochako, who looked like she was blushing at all times the day, was a little envious over how subtle it was, but it was definitely there. A faint dusting of pink high on his cheekbones, and his scowl had turned a little sullen, his lips taking on the hint of a pout.

“I knew that,” he muttered darkly, his shoulders hunching, as though he were trying to make himself smaller for once. It was a weird look for Bakugou, who normally seemed so eager to scream his presence to the world so everyone could properly appreciate him. “I just… where the hell is that Hair-For-Brains?”

Ochako glanced at the clock high on the wall above the food court, and felt her brows furrow. It was five past the hour, and if it was her running a little late, no one would be entirely surprised. She wasn’t even that surprised that Kirishima wasn’t here yet. But Deku and Iida were supposed to be coming, too, as well as the rest of Bakugou’s usual group.

Iida hated being late.

Ochako bit her lip in contemplation, tapping out a rhythm with her fingers on the edge of the fountain. The movie was going to start in ten minutes, and she really, really hated to miss the trailers. But at the same time, she didn’t know if she should ask Bakugou if he wanted to head into the theatre, and just text the others where they were –

A warm, slightly damp hand covered hers, making Ochako freeze, and her fingers cease the tapping.

“That was getting annoying,” he grumbled. He looked around, a foul tempered expression on his face, before he muttered curses and what sounded like it might be one of his many nicknames for Kirishima. He curled his hand around hers and got to his feet, tugging her up with him. As soon as they were both standing, he dropped her hand, but that didn’t remove the warmth his skin had left behind. Ochako stared after him as he stalked away, and he paused, apparently realizing that she wasn’t with him, and turned to glare at her. “Are you coming or not, Round Face?”

“I… sure… I mean…” Ochako trailed off and shook her head and how tongue tied she was. Lack of Kirishima or not, she could talk to Bakugou – had even teased him, when he’d helped them to name Sunny. She hadn’t acted like this around a boy since Deku in their first year, and she adamantly refused to even think about that. “Where are we going, Bakugou?”

“Look, they made me come here to see this stupid movie. So I’m going to go see the stupid movie whether Hair for Brains and Pikachu are here or not. If you don’t want to that’s fine.” He shoved his hands in his pocket as Ochako joined his side once more. He refused to look at her, even as she tried to catch his gaze. “It’s up to you.”

The movie choice had been Kirishima’s, and the only reason Ochako had even agreed to come was because Iida and Midoriya had been so excited to see it. Then Mina had begged Ochako to come too, because apparently the only way to survive the whole thing was if another girl was there, and so she had agreed to come.

And now Ochako was here, with Bakugou – who she knew wanted to see the movie, too, but he’d never admit it – and the rest of them were decidedly AWOL.

“We can text them where our seats are,” she said, with a grin up at him. Bakugou finally looked at her, and his face was devoid of the scowl. It was another odd expression, one that she couldn’t read, and she had seen this look before.

He had watched her like that, while holding Sunny, and just like it had then, Ochako felt like she was staring at a puzzle, with the final piece just out of reach.

“Okay,” he said, breaking their staring match. The scowl was once more affixed to his lips, but that faint blush rode high on his cheeks again. “But I ain’t paying for your popcorn.”

“Of course not,” Ochako agreed, skipping along beside him as they headed for the theatre.

Despite his words, when it came time to pay for snacks, Bakugou never even let her get her wallet out.

---

“Did he just pay for her snacks?” Mina grabbed Kirishima’s arm and shook it as they hid in the acrade attached to the movie theater. “Wow. I thought you were crazy, but you might be onto something with this whole insane idea of yours.”

“Does paying for snacks really mean so much?” asked Todoroki, and Kirishima wasn’t entirely sure how he had ended up with the group. He thought he might have come with Midoriya and Iida. It didn’t really matter though, as long as he didn’t try and get in the way of the Plan. “Everyone knows that Uraraka is trying to save money. Perhaps he’s being nice?”

“Dude,” Kaminari said. “Think about your words. Bakugou and nice?”

“Kaa-chan can be nice when he wants,” Midoriya piped up. He knelt behind the claw game, watching Bakugou and Uraraka curiously. “He just doesn’t like people to realize it.”

That was an understatement that made Kirishima guffaw loudly, and then cover his mouth, hoping that Bakugou hadn’t heard. But the blonde remained caught up in whatever Uraraka was saying. His expression was pretty passive, as far as Bakugou went – just the smallest of scowls. But he was leaning down just a bit, so he could more easily hear Uraraka, and when she waved her hand in front of her, he took her popcorn from it, to prevent her from spilling.

“We should have brought Jirou,” Mina muttered, her eyes narrowed on their friends. “She could have figured out a way to listen to them. What’s he saying?”

“He’s probably giving her shit for waving her popcorn around,” Kaminari replied, but even he was looking a bit more thoughtful as he watched the pair. “Okay, so it’s not a real smile or anything… but he doesn’t look like he wants to kill her. So is that Bakugou’s version of smiling at her?”

“Bakugou’s smile tends to be slightly frightening, and only appears when he’s blowing things up,” Iida pointed out, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I don’t imagine we want to see him smile while on this… experiment, with Ochako.”

Of them all, Iida had been the toughest to convince of the plan that Kirishima had begun to hatch the day after he and Uraraka had named the class’ new pet, a puppy named Sunny, with a surprise assist from Bakugou. He’d known for ages that Bakugou had a bit of a think for the sunny brunette, but it hadn’t been until then, that Kirishima had realized that the thing might just be mutual.

Or at least had the potential to be mutual.

“It’s a date, Iida,” Kirishima replied, rolling his eyes. “Call it what it is.”

“Is it still continued a date if neither of them realize that?” Todoroki responded. He sounded completely uncaring, yet he continued to watch the pair with thinly veiled curiosity, and Kirishima felt himself grin.

“Call it what you want then, but you see it, don’t you?” he nudged the other boy with his shoulder, until Todoroki gave a heavy sigh that Kirishima took as agreement. “Yeah, you all thought I was crazy. But Todoroki sees it.”

“It’s been obvious on Bakugou’s side,” Todoroki replied. “He’s not nearly as good at hiding anything as he’d like to believe. But I’m unsure about her. You may just be projecting what you want to see, Kirishima.”

“Oh, c’mon – look at them!” he motioned after their friends, who were making their way to the theatre. Uraraka’s shoulder bumped against Bakugou’s, and he seemed content to let him. “Look at how close she is to him!”

“Ochako is a pretty physical person, though,” Mina replied, looking far less enthusiastic now that Todoroki had inserted his cool logic where he had no place inserting it. She bit her lips, and Kirishima scowled, having lost the one person that had been 100% aboard the Uraraka/Bakugou train, if for no other reason than she loved some good gossip. “I’m not sure it means that much.”

“But… this is Bakugou,” to Kirishima’s surprise, it was Midoriya who spoke up now. “And Ochako has never been like that with Kaa-chan.”

Thank-you, Midoriya, Kirishima thought, still surprised by the assist from the boy he had been most worried about. The mutual crush that Uraraka and Midoriya had suffered from in their first year had been 1-A’s worst kept secret. And while Kirishima was pretty sure she was over it, she hadn’t been so sure about him.

Midoriya looked up at him, and gave a wan smile that said maybe he wasn’t entirely over it. Kirishima felt bad suddenly, but Midoriya shook his head, as though realizing what he was thinking.

“We should get into the theatre,” Iida said, looking at his watch. “We should be able to sneak in through the other side.”

They had already purchased their tickets, and now they just waited while Kaminar, Mina, and Iida went to get some snacks. Todoroki looked at the posters for other currently playing movies, while Midoriya sidled up to Kirishima’s side.

“It would have never worked,” he said softly, so Kirishima was the only one who would hear. “Ochako and I. I wasn’t, I’m not, what or who she needs to keep pushing her. Even if I hadn’t completely blown my chance by not taking it… I think you’re right, you know. They could be good.”

“Yeah… but I don’t want you to be hurt by it.”

“She’s my friend, Kirishima. I want her to be happy.” Midoriya grinned up at him. “Besides, Ochako is going to need just as good of a best friend as Kaa-chan has, or she’ll never hear the end of it.”

Kirishima grinned, and had to admit that, even if this was all started because he was trying to be the world’s best wingman, maybe hanging out with Midoriya and his friends wouldn’t be such a bad thing to keep doing.

---

“I don’t get it,” Ochako murmured, more to herself than Bakugou. He seemed completely engrossed in the movie, with its fast cars and big explosions.

“What don’t you get?”

Ochako jumped, sending some of her popcorn flying, when the words were spoken warm and low next to her ear. Turning her face, she saw that Bakugou had leaned in to her, and was now watching her with a raised brow.

“The movie,” Ochako admitted. “I mean… is there a plot? Why are the characters doing what they’re doing? I just don’t get it.”

“There’s no plot, Angel Face,” Bakugou replied, and a smirk quirked his lips. But it wasn’t his normal I’m-so-gonna-blow-you-up-and-enjoy-it smirk. No, if Ochako didn’t know better, she would call this smirk… soft.

But there was nothing about Katsuki Bakugou that was soft, so that was just stupid. Right?

“If there’s no plot, why did you want to see it so bad?” Ochako shot back.

The screen lit with another explosion, and this time Bakugou’s smirk was far more typical of his usual one, and Ochako had to roll her eyes at herself.

“You like explosions. Of course you’d like a movie that is basically just explosions tied together by fast car chases.” She shoveled a mouthful of popcorn. “You might be a cliché if…”

She grinned at him, her cheeks full, expecting his attention to still be on the movie. But he completely ignored the next explosion as he looked down at her, and his gaze looked almost hungry. Which was silly, because Ochako was doing her best impression of a chipmunk, and there was absolutely nothing about that, that was attractive.

She managed to swallow her popcorn without choking, unable to look away from the intensity of Bakugou’s gaze the whole time.

“Is there something wrong with being a cliché?” Bakugou finally asked, and it might have been an attempt at lessening the growing tension between them. It was rather weak, as far as attempts went, but just the fact that Bakugou was trying to make her feel more comfortable somehow made the attempt a success.

“I mean, maybe not when your ideal hero name is King Explosion Murder. I guess you’re just realizing your life goals by being a cliché.”

“You’re never going to let me down, are you?” he muttered, but he nudged her with his shoulder, and then never fully moved away. His side was a solid warmth, pressed up against hers, and it seemed natural, to shift a little closer yet, and settle in to watch the rest of the movie, sides pressed together.

She was pretty sure the heroes saved the day and the lead got to drive into the sunset with the girl of his dreams. But honestly, she had sort of lost track of who was good and who was bad at the halfway point, so she couldn’t be sure.

But… she had to admit, the explosions were kind of cool.

“I could have made better ones,” Bakugou mused as they left the theatre, still close enough that their arms brushed. Ochako wondered if she had mentioned the explosions out loud, but then he followed up. “The explosions, I mean. They were decent, but that franchise uses FX instead of quirks.”

“Why am I not surprised that you’re an explosion connoisseur?” Ochako asked with a grin. The mall had closed during the movie, so they headed to the doors that lead outside. Once out, Ochako raised her arms above her head, stretching from the time spent sitting. “I feel kind of bad for Kirishima and Deku. They probably would’ve appreciated that way more than I did.”

It was cool out, and once she was done stretching, she rubbed her arms and bounced on the balls of her feet to try and create warmth.

“Tch.” Bakugou rolled his eyes, and Ochako gaped as he unzipped his hoodie, and then wrapped it around her shoulders. He didn’t seem to be bothered by the lower temperatures at all, and she had to admit that the hoodie was warm, and the inside soft as she shoved her arms into the sleeves. The whole thing dwarfed her, and she grinned up at him after shoving the sleeves up her arms.

“How do I look? Think I’ll start a new fashion?”

Bakugou looked down at her, his expression somewhat stricken. It made heat flare in Ochako’s cheeks, even as the same did in his.

From somewhere just inside the theatre, Ochako swore she heard someone squeal.

She peeked around Bakugou, anything to distract her from that look on his face, and the fact that it made her heart beat a little faster, but no one exiting the theatre seemed to be paying them any particular attention. Bakugou, taller than her, scowled inside as well, his red eyes narrowing.

“Those annoying little shits,” he muttered darkly.

“What is it?” Ochako asked, straining to try and see whatever it was that had drawn Bakugou’s attention. Instead, she found herself tugged around, his hand a warm vice around hers.

“Let’s go,” he declared, basically dragging her down the sidewalk. His legs ate up distance, and Ochako had to basically run to keep up.

“Where are we going?” she demanded. Bakugou just continued to mutter to himself, tugging her along like she was Sunny. Taking her free hand, she pressed her fingers to his arm.

It took him two steps going nowhere before he realized what she had done.

“What the hell, Uraraka?” he demanded, glaring down at her as he floated. She kept her grip on his hand, so he couldn’t float away, and his feet found their way above his head. Despite the humor of the whole thing, his glare still managed to be pretty fearsome.

Ochako found that she wasn’t afraid.

“I asked a question. It’s polite to answer, Bakugou. Dislocating my arm because you’re dragging me around? Not so polite.”

“We both know ain’t polite,” Bakugou muttered, and Ochako smiled at him pleasantly, then released her hold on his hand. He flailed, nearly hitting her in the face before he managed to grasp her shoulder and anchor himself. “Shit. Shit. Dammit, that’s cold, Angel Face.”

“That’s me. Ice cold.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. They widened, when she gave him another pleasant smile.

“Release!”

He actually groaned, as he rolled onto his back and glared up at her. Ochako crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

“Well?”

He mumbled something she couldn’t hear.

“What?” she demanded, and he sighed, and waved her closer.

She crouched down, catching the mischief in his eye – something that you had to look really closely to see, but that was there more often than many people realized – just a second too late. In a move that Ochako would later have to demand he teach her, he gathered her in his arms, and vaulted to his feet.

“Ach!” she squawked, tossing her arms around his neck awkwardly as he took off down the side walk. “Bakugou, put me down!”

“We have an audience, Uraraka.” His breath was warm on her ear as he spoke. “Those shits set us up. Do you really want them to get their show?”

It took a couple minutes for his words to compute, and when she did she looked over his shoulder, searching frantically for any sign of their friends. She had no doubt they’d been there – Bakugou had no reason to lie – but using their quirks to chase down their runaway friends would only get them in trouble, and even carrying Ochako, Bakugou had taken advantage of the element of surprise.

Plus, he just didn’t care about the looks they garnered as he sprinted down the street, and fully expected people to just get out of his way as he rushed head long like a bull. Ochako knew she should scold him or something, but this was just so… invigorating.

So she laughed.

She was still laughing when he set her on her feet, next to the entrance to the subway. She grinned up at him through her laughter, and to her surprise, he actually smiled.

Like, a real, actual light up his face smile.

It was… breathtaking.

Her laughter petered out in the wake of that smile, and halted completely when, still smiling, he brushed her wind-blown hair out of her face.

“We should probably get back to the school,” Bakugou muttered, dropping his hand from her cheek. Ochako wanted him to put it back, but instead looked at the steps to the subway.

She wasn’t entirely surprised that going back didn’t sound appealing, not yet. Instead, she looked across the street to a 24 hour diner that looked relatively empty.

“Or,” she said slowly. “We could go and have breakfast for a late night snack.”

Bakugou followed her gaze, and then let out a huff of laughter.

“Okay, but I ain’t paying.”

He totally did.

---

“I can’t believe we lost them.”

Kaminari dropped into a chair and scowled at Iida who perched on a nearby couch.

“Why didn’t you chase after them?”

“He couldn’t just use his quirk like that in public,” Mina pointed out, poking Kaminari in the ribs. “Can you imagine the trouble we’d be in?”

“Well, Uraraka used hers!”

To turn Bakugou into basically a human balloon, a sight none of them would forget. Mina had even gotten it on camera, before Bakugou had leapt into motion and lost them somewhere in the crowd.

“Well, no one was going to get hurt by that,” Mina pointed out.

“Except Bakugou,” Todoroki added.

The rest of them winced slightly, because it had looked kind of painful, the way she had dropped them. But despite everything, their little interaction hadn’t seemed to draw much attention from anyone but their classmates, and that was because they were literally there to watch the pair.

“Yeah… but he didn’t seem to mind, did he?” asked Kirishima from where he had sprawled on the floor, letting Sunny crawl all over him. He sat up, holding the puppy to his chest and grinned. “Is anyone gonna tell me I’m wrong now?”

“I’ll admit,” Iida said, taking off his glasses to clean them. “That the signs do point towards you being right that there is some sort of… mutual interest there.”

“Dude, she floated him and he let her. And then she let him go all Tarzan with her.” Kaminari shook his head. “Are we sure it wasn’t some joint hallucination.”

“I think it’s nice,” Midoriya piped up. He had knelt next to Kirishima and was stroking Sunny’s head. His smile said he really did think that it was nice.

Damn… Midoriya was probably a way bigger man than all of them.

“I hope they’re okay, though,” Mina murmured, looking around. “Do you think they’re back already?”

The group had spent a good hour trying to catch up with the pair, before they finally gave up. Now, Kirishima frowned.

“Maybe we should go ch-”

The front door opening cut him off, and Urarka’s bright voice filled the entrance hall and drifted to them in the den.

“I told you that you should get the French toast!”

“Well, you were already getting them. This way we got a variety!”

“That only works if you share. Which you didn’t. When I was super generous!”

“Tch. You said you couldn’t eat any more. But if you’re gonna complain, then I’ll make you pancakes tomorrow to make up for it, Angel Face.”

“Promise?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

Bakugou and Uraraka entered the room, and everyone sat up straighter. He was scowling down at her, although there was a twitch at the side, one that kept trying to pull it upwards. Meanwhile, she just grinned up at him brightly.

His hand was wrapped around hers, and neither of them seemed to have a problem with that at all.

“Eek!” Mina squealed, the same noise that had given them away at the theatre. She clapped her hands together and wiggled excitedly. “You two are so cute!”

Bakugou and Urarkafroze, as they realize they weren’t alone. As one, they dropped each other’s hands, and Uraraka went bright pink, while Bakugou flushed faintly and scowled at them all.

“Enjoy the movie?” he demanded, his gaze focusing right in on Kirishima, like he knew exactly whose idea the whole thing had been.

He probably did.

“Sure did!” Kirishima replied brightly, carefully adjusting Sunny so she became a puppy shield, because he wasn’t too proud to seek protection when it was available. “How about you?”

Bakugou froze, his hands clenched at his side, and his gaze darted to Uraraka, and then back to Kirishima.

“It was all right,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets, before glaring at Kirishima through narrowed eyes. “Don’t do it again!”

He turned around and stalked away. He paused by Uraraka for a second, and just stared down into her eyes in an intense way that made Kirishima feel like a bit of a voyeur. For a second, he thought Bakugou might say screw them all and kiss her.

Instead, he lifted his hand, like he was going to touch her, dropped it halfway there.

“Good night,” he muttered.

Rather than being disappointed or upset, Uraraka just grinned up at him and reached out to squeeze his hand with hers.

“Good night,” she replied.

They all watched him retreat, and then Uraraka turned to look at them all with a bright smile. That smile became a scowl – though Uraraka’s paled in comparison to the ferocity of Bakugou’s – and she braced her hands on her hips.

“What was that?” she demanded.

“Did you not enjoy yourself?” Iida asked, his expression suddenly alarmed. “If you did-”

“That’s not the point, Iida,” Uraraka replied, crossing her arms now. “The point is that you guys purposefully tricked us… and okay, it may have worked out, but what if it hadn’t.”

“I knew it would,” Kirishima replied brightly, getting to his feet, Sunny still in his arms.

“Oh?” Uraraka’s lips quivered, and he knew she was fighting back the urge to smile. They had that effect on one another; it’s why he had been so happy when he’d realized that Bakugou was into her. “And how did you know that.”

“Cause,” Kirishima replied, tilting the dog into Uraraka’s arms. She couldn’t stay mad with an armful of puppy, “he named the dog after you.”

With that information passed on, Kirishima headed to bed himself, whistling a jaunty tune.

Bakugou had better make him the best man for all of this work he was putting in.

#Kacchako #Kacchako fic #sakuttino

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wordsaremyenemy · 7 years ago

Text

Hubcaps & Ashtrays [Loki X Reader] Part 1

Pairing: Loki x Reader Prompt: “The thing is, I wasn’t pretending." Word count: 2,300+ Summary: (Fake Boyfriend AU) You’re a school teacher, eighth grade ELA in fact. School isn’t even in session yet and you already want to rip your hair out. Good news, it’s right before Labor Day and there’s a four day weekend before school starts. Which means plenty of time to finish that pain-in-the-ass lesson plan that’s being avoided. Bad news, your family’s annual reunion is this weekend. Opting out really isn’t an option. Aunt Dot is turning 89 this year and even though it’s not 90 it’s still a big deal.

There’s no time to vet a decent guy before bringing him home, so looks like you’re going stag. Again. Which means Mom and all of your aunts are going to make damn sure that your love life is going to be center stage all weekend. Although, a night with friends might have the answer to all your problems in the form of Hallmark movies. A/N: Okay... so.... this is my entry to @justsomebucky‘s (to whom I apologize for taking so long, please don’t eat me) writing challenge from like months ago. Retail + Holiday season = no free time for little old me. Honestly it still isn’t finished, but I’m trying to get my ass in gear and do shit. I honestly shouldn’t even be doing this. I have laundry. And Christmas presents still to make. I have three done out of like twelve. (I’m crocheting and making dreamcatchers. I’m a mess right now.)

I have to give fair warning. This was the shameless self-insert I've been dreaming of. I still don’t think I’ve done it justice though. And though I kept the descriptions of the main character fairly... vague, or at least tried to. The readers aesthetic is very much what I consider my own to be. Meaning "Basic White Female Hipster" meets "Emo Punk Rock Queen." And honestly there's not enough love for punk. The title comes from Sleeping With Sirens’ “The Strays.”

Big thanks to the most amazing woman in the world, who’s read this more times than I have at this point, and very kindly beta-d this for me. I love you, babygirl. Thanks for calling me out on all my shit always. Warnings: Mostly swearing

It all started Monday. You were running late, spilled coffee down the front of your brand-new cardigan, and remembered that you forgot to put deodorant on as you ran out of your Brooklyn apartment, nearly running over your neighbor-slash-best-guy-friend, Bucky. You end up fifteen minutes late to the very first staff meeting of the school year because you’d forgotten which way the conference room was. (It’s in a very peculiar place, okay? You would think it’s by the front office. It’s not. For some reason, it’s on the third floor right next to third-floor teachers' lounge.) At least you got to spend the rest of the day prepping your classroom.

Tuesday wasn’t much better. No big staff meeting, but you did have to meet with the two other eighth grade ELA teachers who were the co-chairs of the English department of the entire school. That was a trip and not in a good way. You’ve been teaching for four-going-on-five years. You knew what you were doing. Mostly. You liked to wing it the first week, get a feel for your students before you set down a structured lesson plan. Not that anyone really did anything that first week anyway.

Apparently, that wasn’t going to fly this year because Mrs. High-and-Mighty Jacobson and Miss I’m-so-much-better-than-you Atterbury insisted that everyone turn in their lesson plans for the first week by Monday. Great.

Wednesday started a little bit better. You remembered deodorant (you did on Tuesday, too; it’s the little victories). You didn’t spill coffee or run down Bucky. You actually had enough time to exchange pleasantries and be reminded to go over for your weekly movie night. There wasn’t a meeting, so it was pure setting up your classroom for the four classes you were teaching this semester. Of course, you agonized over that lesson plan but it was for the first week and you did just find out yesterday and surely it could wait until tomorrow, right?

Around lunch it gets hazy. Your mom texts you and reminds you of the upcoming plans you couldn’t escape that weekend.

It could be Aunt Dot’s last reunion, honey. You wouldn’t want to upset her, would you?

I told you last week, Ma, you text. I’m going.

You should bring that boy you’re always talking about. What’s his name?

You roll your eyes. Dirk. And we broke up months ago. I told you.

The next message comes a few minutes later. You pointedly ignore it and get back to your task at hand. Ironically, it’s also ignoring that lesson plan. Hopefully, there was going to be enough sangria at this weekend-long party to blur out the twenty questions that came with being single in your family.

You’re in the middle of packing for the weekend, jamming to whatever playlist you were last listening to on Spotify. It’s more on the punk side of your music taste than the pop side. There’s a knock at the door, causing you to jump.

“Y/N! Y/N, open up!” Bucky shouts from the other side of the door.

You pad barefoot to the door, clad in blue, fuzzy, penguin pajama pants and an old NYU tee that you definitely did not steal from Bucky a few heartbreaks ago.

“What?” you snap, opening the door in the middle of Buck’s persistent knocking. You’re surprised to find not only Bucky standing in the hall but Steve and Wanda too. Across the hall, Sam and Nat are standing in the doorway to Bucky’s apartment with their arms crossed. “Wait, shit. Is it that time already?”

Wanda grabs you by the arm with a playful smile and roll of the eyes, pulling you across the hall.

“No Vis tonight?” you ask, collapsing face first on the couch. Nat follows and flops down sideways in the armchair. You turn your head to watch Wanda as she answers.

“Vis is still away on business,” she explains with wistful eyes and a shake of her head. She was always like that when Vis was off somewhere that wasn’t wrapped around her.

“At least you have an excuse. I’m walking into this stupid reunion completely single. Again. And my mother is already on my case.”

Sam snorts, perched on the back of the couch by your feet. “Somebody needs a beer.”

“More like an entire bottle of wine,” Nat teases.

Bucky sighs from the kitchen, where he’s the sole person making pizza. “None of you are in here helping me make this pizza so I don’t want to hear anything from any of you if you don’t get something you like.”

That gets everyone up and around the island.

An hour later, everyone’s content and full of pizza. Even Steve, who always seems to be eating, has pushed his paper plate to the other side of the coffee table. Everyone’s gotten into their prime movie watching positions.

Nat is sitting sideways in the reclined armchair, bowl of popcorn sitting where her feet should go. Wanda’s on her stomach on the floor in front of her. Sam’s sitting on the end of the couch closest to them. Bucky’s on the chaise side of the couch; a picturesque view of relaxation. You’re in-between them, your head on Bucky’s lap, feet under Sam’s leg. Steve’s on the floor, between the couch and coffee table, leaning into the junction where your seat met Bucky’s.

They’re thirty minutes into the sixth episode of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 reboot, adding their own commentary to that of Jonah and his robot friends.

“So, whatever happened to that guy you went out with? The one that took you on a date to the opera?” Sam asks. "Why don't you just ask him to be your date? People do it all the time for weddings."

You make a face that doesn’t last long because Bucky’s doing that thing where he plays with your hair and make you fell all warm and cozy inside.

“Wasn’t her type,” he replies for you. He’d heard all about the disaster that was that date. Just like he’d heard all about the ones before it, too. From the day you moved in across the hall, you and Bucky had been inseparable. He was your best friend. Hardly a day went by that two of you didn't share your daily torments with each other.

It was actually Natasha you’ve known the longest. She’d been your roommate when you first started at NYU. It was rough at first. You were the furthest from a city girl, having grown up in farming community, but it was under Nat’s wing that you grew to love the city.

You’d met Steve shortly after, literally running into him one day as he was on his way to class. Turned out he was in one of your Education classes. You’d just never paid attention.

Funnily enough, Steve really made your connection to everyone else in the room. It was Steve who found you the job at the school he was teaching at. He’d graduated the year before, miraculously found a job, and was already the students’ favorite art teacher.

It was through Steve that you met everyone else, but it was fate that you met Bucky. You'd been looking for a place of your own and he'd happened to know one with affordable rent that wasn't far from work at all. The rest was history.

So, Bucky had heard all about the failed blind date with Loki Laufeyson.

You'd been set up by Nat. After getting tired of hearing about your lack of love life after you'd ended the only serious relationship you'd had since moving to New York, she'd taken it upon herself to set you up with the occasional guy to get you to stop bellyaching. There'd been decent guys. Each one was better that the last, like Natasha was getting better about picking out these guys.

Loki had seemed like exactly your type. Tall, dark-haired, and handsome. Proclivity for the color black.

And, okay, to say it failed...is a little harsh.

It was actually a little bit cool. You dressed up in your best date dress and did your hair nice. Went above and beyond on your makeup. He was actually early picking you up at the agreed upon place. (There was no way you were giving him your address.) He was a gentleman and opened doors, pulled out your seat at dinner.

There was just something about him. The first thing you noticed was his accent. (He was British, which gave you shivers.)

The second was that he was more slick-looking than the guys you usually fall for. More eloquent, too.

Honestly, it wasn't his fault that your heart refused to fully give up your teenage crushes on the likes of Andy Biersack (Mostly now -- Juliet Simms was a lucky woman) or Ronnie Radke (more circa "Situations" from his Escape the Fate days, or maybe even early Falling in Reverse -- though you had to admit, Coming Home was a bomb ass album.)

You just liked musicians. It's a thing. Everyone you've ever seriously dated was in some kind of band.

Loki was hot and he had the looks...but the aesthetic just wasn't there.

Back to the really cool part. The opera.

You legitimately had never been to an opera before. So, you hadn't known what to expect. What you got, however, was a heart wrenching tale in sung Italian. You didn't have to understand what they were saying to understand what was going on. But the story had been amazing. So much better than anything you could've read out of a book.

But there was just no chemistry between the two of you.

Which you'd told Bucky.

What you hadn't told him was there was a second date too.

That one was a little bit better. Loki seemed more relaxed than the time before. Just a button down and slacks compared to the full-on suit and tie this time. You'd gone with a skater dress and Vans instead of the heels from the last time too.

It was just a dinner this time. Not as fancy as the last place, but still expensive. You actually struck up a decent conversation. It was mostly about how you'd both been forced to go on awful date after awful date by friends (or family, in his case). He didn't like disappointing his mother.

By the end of the date, you were sure there wasn't going to be a third. It seemed as though you were wrong originally. Loki looked the part, but in reality, he seemed to be like everyone else before him. There was just something missing.

You're brought out of your head by Nat's annoyed voice.

"I really thought he'd work out too. Have to admit, even I didn't see the opera thing."

"What about Bucky?" Wanda asks. There's a knowing grin on her face like she knows something you don't.

You look up at your best friend to find him smiling like he's holding back laughter.

"Yeah, what about Buck, Y/N? You guys have always been really close," Steve adds.

This time, you do laugh with Bucky joining in. "Do you want to tell them or should I?"

"You can," he says sobering up.

"We've tried that," you explain. "Very early on. Before I even met Dirk. It was actually really fun. We went to a Panic! concert. It was great. We even kissed. But guys, we're just friends."

"What do you mean you kissed?" Natasha hisses.

And that's when everyone's attention turns from the movie to you and every minute detail about your date with Bucky.

It's only a couple hours later that you're standing in the kitchen washing dishes as Bucky picks up the living room. Everyone's gone home for the night.

"You could always hire someone," Buck suggests, as he sets a couple of glasses beside you to be washed.

"Do I look like Deborah Messing? This isn't one of your rom-coms, Buck. Stuff like that doesn't really happen in real life."

He laughs. "Come on, Y/N. You know I'm only joking."

"Face it. There's no way for me to find a date for the weekend. Not this late anyway. Besides, I'd rather not be that person that brings a different date to every family function."

"Why is this such a huge deal anyway?" Bucky wonders.

You stay quiet for a second, wondering that yourself. It wasn't that you weren't happy with your life. Honestly, you didn't think you cared that much about your relationship status. But then again...

"I'm almost thirty," you point out as you rinse the pizza pan in your hands. You can feel his eyes on you, like he's about to ask you how your age has any relevance to the conversation at hand. "I know, I know. But it's different for guys. Women have a prime window for creating a family. And I know I don't have to, that women shouldn't be expected to have children -- yada yada. I'm about all that. But I want to. I had a plan. And it sort of fell apart, I guess. And my mom is on me all the time now. And maybe I'm not really all that happy with where I'm at anyway."

You wash and rinse the two cups and you're done, draining the water and drying your hands off on a dish towel draped over the oven handle.

Bucky gives you a gentle smile and pulls you into a warm hug and kisses your temple. "Hey. It's no time to give up. You might not find a date for this weekend, but that doesn't mean you won't find a date for the rest of your life, Doll."

You lean into him and breathe deep. Sometimes it sucked that you and Bucky weren't meant to be.

#Finally got a moment to do this #loki #loki x reader #Avengers #jsdchallenge #life sucks.#hubcaps and ashtrays

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askthestabbystabbysquad · 7 years ago

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Oh i loved that last one~. Oh how about they come in from *ahem* 'working', hear their s/o screaming and run in only to see their s/o standing on the table or counter cause they saw a big fat bug

Michael: He silently entered his s/o’s house. The knife was dripping blood onto his shoe. Last time he’d come home covered in blood, his s/o had kicked him out. He wasn’t going to let that happen again if he cold help it. He assumed his s/o would be sleeping in their bed, since it was three in the morning, but the shriek from the kitchen sent him running in. He never ran, so when he rounded the corner at full-speed, he slipped on a puddle of water and slammed into the wall. “OH MY GOD MICHAEL KILL IT!! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!” They hollered, clutching onto a chair and pointing at a rather large cockroach. He rubbed his sore shoulder and went to go step on the bug when it jumped on his pant leg. He kicked violently a few times before just stopping and staring at his s/o. “MICHAEL IT’S A HUGE ASS BUG!! AND NOW IT’S CRAWLING UP YOUR LEG!!! KILL IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!” They hollered. He felt a tickle at the bottom of his mask and then slapped it. The bug fell on the ground, and went to scurry away, but was crushed under his boot. He shivered and then was tackle-hugged. “OH MY GOD THANK YOU!! IT’S BEEN THERE FOR THE PAST HOUR!!” He sighed and shook his head. He loved his s/o, but that was a little extreme...

Jason: He barged into the house, panting slightly and holding his wounded shoulder. He went to go wake up his s/o so they could patch him up, but the scream from the kitchen called him over in a hurry. He saw his s/o, crouched on the counter with a spatula, staring intently at the floor. He tilted his head. “Jason, there’s a big ass bug on the floor and it’s going to have to DIE OH MY GOD JASON KILL IT! IT’S RIGHT THERE!!” They hollered, pointing at the bug. He walked over and picked the beetle up, then tossed it out the window. They jumped down and put the spatula up slowly. “Is it gone? Is it going to fly back in? WILL IT CRAWL INTO MY EAR TONIGHT?!?” He stared at them wide-eyed. Would that bug seriously do that? He slammed the window closed and hugged his s/o, forgetting momentarily that he was covered in blood and bleeding. “Uh, Jason, you’re shoulder...” He let go and looked sheepishly down at his feet. “Oh! Uh, let me get changed and I’ll patch that up for you. Okay?” He nodded and let them walk out on their own, suspiciously eyeing the window, the beetle pail in the middle of it outside.

Leatherface: He came home with a full-belly, his mamas cooked meatloaf still on his tongue. He had his chainsaw over his shoulder and was calmly walking inside when he heard a loud scream. He ran to the kitchen to see his s/o, perched like a cat on the table, a broom in hand. “Thomas, there’s a giant scorpion in here. Kill. It. Now.” They hissed, staring at the large black scorpion on the floor that sat on the floor in the kitchen by the stove. He stared at it for a moment before looking back at his s/o. “THOMAS KILL IT PLEEEEEAAAAASEEEEEE!!!” They hollered. He shined and carefully strode over to the table. He held out his hand for the broom, which he got. He raised it over his head and slammed it down on the scorpion, catching it’s tail and crushing it. He then picked it up and tossed it out the window. He looked back at his s/o in time to be tackled. “You’re home!!” They smiled and laughed, as if they hadn’t been perched on the table moments earlier. He didn’t care though. He happily squeaked and hugged them back, blood getting on the sides of their shirt.

Pinhead: He entered his s/o’s home, ready to tell them about the torture that (Insert most hated person’s name here) had received today, hoping that this would make them feel better about themselves, but the loud scream from the kitchen made me change his mind. He hurried to the kitchen and looked at the amusing spectacle in front of him. His s/o stood on a chair, on top of the table, pressed up against the ceiling and and screaming in fear at a rather large earwig on the floor. He blinked before walking forward and stepping on it. “Better?” He asked, a bored expression on his face. They whimpered and nodded. “Thanks... When did you get back?” “Just now. When you yelled, I thought you’d been attacked by an intruder.” “Might as well have been, that wouldn’t have been NEARLY as scary! Did you SEE the size of that fucking thing?!?” “Yes, I did. I believe I killed it though...” “Yeah, but STILL!! That thing was HUGE!” “Yes darling.” “Like, fucking GINoURMouS!!” “I think you should stop now...” “Why?” “Your voice...” “NEvER mIND ThaT!!” He sighed. This was going to be a long night...

Hannibal: He blinked slowly at his s/o. They were perched on the sink, clutching Earl Gray to their chest, staring intently at a snake on the floor. “Dear, what on earth are you doing?” “DO you not see the giant ass snake in the middle of the fucking room?!?” They hissed, glaring angrily at him. He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I do. But it’s not a threat. How did it even get in here anyways?” “Earl Gray brought it in. And I don’t know if it’s venomous or not.” “And? Just pick it up behind it head.” “No, it’s scary.” They hissed again. “You know you CAN speak up, right?” “I don’t want to. Get it out.” He sighed before walking over to it and picked it up, the snake hissing and writhing. He gently tossed it outside and closed the door. “It’s gone. You can get down now.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure. It’s outside.” “What if it gets back in and kills me in my sleep?” “Then I’ll eat it.”

Billy: He hummed as he walked into the house, his s/o probably sleeping or watching a movie. Or, at least, that’s what he thought. The loud and shrill scream from the kitchen made him jump, and he bolted towards the room that usually smelled like popcorn. He tripped over his costume, falling face-first on the floor and on something rather large that got crushed under his mask. “BABE! BABE WHAT’S WRONG?!?” “Oh, you fixed it.” “What?” “There was a giant ass spider and, well, it’s now on your face...” “HOLY SHIT GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFFGETITOFF!!!” HE ran around the kitchen, fanning at his face. His s/o laughed and almost fell off of the chair they were on. “Billy stop running around. Billy, I have a paper towel. Billy just fucking- BILLY LOOMIS STOP RUNNING!!” They laughed, almost doubling over. He eventually threw the mask off and onto the ground and ended up curled up close to his s/o for the rest of the night. He hated spiders.

Stu: He was the coward. He really was. So he came home and saw his s/o cooing over a fucking TARANTULA and ended up on the chandelier. He stared angrily down at the spider. “Do you need a ladder?” “No, get that thing out of here.” “It’s my friends spider. I’m spider-sitting for the rest of the week. So he’s gotta go into his container. Ain’t that right Claude?” “IT HAS A NAME?!?” “Yes Stu. He has a name. Terrifying, isn’t it?” “YES!!” He hollered. “Stu, you are a SERIAL killer.” “AND?!? I CAN STILL BE SCARED OF BUGS AND CRAWLIES AND STUFF!!!” “Stu, get down.” “NO!!” “...If I give you a cookie, will you get down?” “...Maybe... BUT ONLY IF YOU PUT THE SPIDER AWAY!” They sighed and put the spider into a container. “Fine. Now get down.” “Cookie first!” “Fine, jeez you big baby. I used to be scare of you you know.” “You mean you aren’t anymore?” “Nope. Especially not after this.” He huffed, and opened his mouth, which got a cookie shoved in it.

Norman: He ran back down the stairs of the motel, hearing his s/o screaming. Had they seen mother kill? Had they been hurt? Where they being robbed?!? He burst into the kitchen and screamed. There was a giant rat sitting in the middle of the room. He joined his shaking s/o on top of the table and held the knife over its head. It sniffed the air and scurried away. “W-well at least I didn’t drop it...” “NORMAN BATES DO NOT JINX US!!!” “I’M S-SORRY!!” The rat climbed up onto the counter. His s/o took the knife and threw it at the rat, nailing it right in the side, pinning it to the wall. There was complete silence before his s/o began to shout and jumped off of the table. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! Ohoho!!OH!! Did you SEE that?!? Holy SHIT!! THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!” They fist bumped the air and ran around, pride decorating their face. He sighed and got down. He took the knife hesitantly and began to gently tap it against the garbage bin to get the rat off. He’d definitively be washing that knife...

David: He walked into his s/o’s house. He was silent, knowing his s/o would probably be asleep. They were trying to transition to his sleep schedule, but he didn’t sleep a lot and they had work. But the hesitant and small voice from the kitchen startled him. “David, are you home?” “Oh. Yeah, hey babe.” “David, there is a giant ass centipede in the kitchen and I want you to come and kill it. Right now.” He snorted and walked into the kitchen. “No need to over-OH MY GOD NO!! FUCK THAT!!!” He saw the giant ass centipede. He did not lie that he saw the giant ass centipede. He didn’t like that giant ass centipede in the least. “Babe please kill it.” “Uh, no, YOU kill it.” He climbed up on the wall and stared at the giant ass centipede that CLEARLY didn’t belong in the natural world. “Babe please...” He looked up at his s/o, who was crying and clearly terrified. He blinked in surprise. “Okay. Fine. But that thing does NOT belong here!” “Yeah...” He jumped off the wall and ran towards the counter, grabbing a huge cookbook that was never used and had a hard cover, and he tossed it at the bug. It made a sickening squelch as the book hit it. He sighed and walked towards his s/o. “It’s gone. Also, that cookbook needs to be burned now.” They nodded in agreement, letting him lift them into his arms and carry them to bed.

Carrie: She didn’t actively kill unless someone survived her massacre and had the chance to have kids. She came home, now covered in blood, to her s/o standing on top of a chair. “CARRIE THERE IS A FUCKING MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN!!!” She sighed and dropped a pot on the mouse from the living room. “... CARRIE THERE IS NOW A DEAD MOUSE AND A BROKEN POT ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR!” She sighed and rolled her eyes.

Samara: Her s/o passed out on top of the table. They’d seen the large spider and they’d climbed up before passing out. You see, Samara’s s/o may be able to stand up to her, but they had an extreme fear of bugs. They had a terrible case of arachnophobia. And the large spider slowly creeping towards the table was going to get itself killed. Samara stood over it, glaring. It skidded away, but she was caging it in her long black locks. It jumped up onto her dress and froze, then fell off, dead. She walked up to her s/o and gently shook them, waking them up enough to get them to shuffle to their room. She watched them sleep for a moment before going back to the kitchen and disposing of the bug via garbage disposal. Then she walked back to her s/o’s room and curled up next to them, tossing a blanket over them both and falling asleep. Her s/o really was a colourful figure...

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happyimagines · 7 years ago

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Teenage Mutant Spider-Kid (Reader x Peter Parker/Spider-Man) [Pt. 1(?)]

I’ve been in love with Spider-Man for as long as I can remember and I didn’t realize there was a whole world of imagines and one shots based on the love of my life.

So here’s a fem reader insert in which the reader is a spiderling but she is a mutant born with her powers (pretty much all the same with her own quirk, and she produces her own webs, and doesn’t need the shooters like Peter does). I was thinking that the reader is a vigilante by night and tries to keep a low profile so people don’t know about her vigilante identity. She does this because she had a sheltered childhood (due to being a mutant) and had lots of time to play with computers, thus becoming a decorated hacker and being able to hack into cameras of the areas she works in. The reader’s secrecy gets blown when Spidey and her meet each other to save the same person. Then it turns out they go to the same school…

I think that’s enough background/introduction for the start… Onwards, friends!

Fair warning: I like to write long ones, so strap in and have your popcorn ready. This one will probably be a series if it gets received well or people request so. ^.^

–sgt-pineyapple

Word count: 3,140

Warnings: Just some minuscule cussing, also I figured with the character being so sheltered most of her life, she has trouble socializing and has social anxiety

For most people, soaring around New York would be fun and invigorating. But most people weren’t like you; you did this almost nightly, and just weren’t feeling it tonight. You’d been patrolling the streets from above ever since you moved there over the summer. But no one knew of your presence in New York thanks to your hacking skills and being overshadowed by Spider-Man. You also usually took smaller crimes unlike the ones that your counterpart normally dealt with.

After hearing about Spider-Man, you begged your parents to let you do the same. You were what everyone called a mutant; born with unimaginable abilities due to a mutation in your DNA. This mutation actually gave you abilities just like Spider-Man and you wanted to meet him so much. You’d never met any other mutants that were like you, and you wanted to talk to someone about it. Being a teenage mutant was rough, especially if you’d been home schooled most of your life and you were just started public school for the first time. And not just any school, it was high school.

You pulled out a squished granola bar from your pocket, pulled the bottom of your mask up to reveal your mouth, and start nervously nibbling on your snack. After months of constantly bothering your parents, you finally convinced them to let you start public school and the lot of you moved from the middle of nowhere to the Big Apple.

The first month of school had gone okay, considering you were socially inept. Pretty much all the acquaintances you’d made were all because they approached you. That and your parents encouraged you to join the computer science club. It was going pretty good…

Your thoughts were interrupted by a beeping and vibrating from the smart watch on your wrist. Shortly after you’d heard about the Spider-Man, you had tapped into the police scanners and did some programming for it to notify you when key words or phrases were said over their radios.

“Armed robbery…” you scrunched up the granola bar wrapper and stuffed it into the pocket of your suit.

Mom would kill me.

Even though you snuck out every night against your parents’ wishes, you told yourself that you wouldn’t take any job that would put yourself in terrible danger. “Ehhhh…” You winced at the thought of your parents’ faces if you came home with tons of bruises or scratches, but you’d been doing nothing but stopping petty muggings and shoplifts. Nothing this exciting had happened since you started sneaking out.

You pulled your mask back into place and leaped from the top of the building you were perched on. You free fell for a few moments, closing your eyes and taking in the feeling of freedom, then shot a web to a building ahead to start your journey to the crime scene.

Another buzz from your smart watch; the suspects were fleeing on foot through the maze of alleyways just a couple blocks away from the victim convenience store. You were worried about being spotted by the cops while in the air, so you landed on the top of an apartment building and started sprinting and vaulting along the rooftops.

Not long after you landed, you spotted the perpetrators skulking in the alley you just jumped over. You quickly booted up a program on your watch that hones in on your location and disables any cameras within a block of where you are. With that, you start crawling in the darkness of the alley walls, with your black suit to help you blend into the night.

“I think… we lost ‘em, man.” One of the two men panted and slid down the wall to hide behind a dumpster. The other wasn’t so sure; he kept looking behind his back and across to the other end of the alley, which was blocked off by a high fence with a locked gate.

“I don’t know… we could get lucky and miss a visit from the Spider-Man, but our luck ain’t that great…” He kept looking over his shoulder and leaned against the wall opposite of his partner. You were wondering whether you should surprise them by landing in between them or webbing their stolen goods.

Before you could decide, another figure swooped in and landed on the open end of the alley, cutting off their only means of escape. You stared in awe, because it was him; the Spider-Man you’d admired for so long was standing right in front of you and he didn’t see you. You skulked along the wall towards the gated end and waited.

“Hello fellas! Whatcha got there?” He stretched his neck to get a look at what the men had stolen.

“It’s the Bug Man!” One of them pointed was starting to scramble up to his feet.

“It’s actually Spider-Man, but whatever.” He shrugged. “So, you gonna share some of that with me or…?” The men tried to make their escape to the fence, but you jumped from the wall and forced yourself between the two of them and their exit. “Who–?” Spider-Man started, but then refocused on the criminals as both of them held up a gun at each of you.

They smirked confidently, but just as soon as they’d gotten the guns out you and Spider-Man disarmed them with your webs. They growled in frustration, but attempted to lunge towards the two of you. Before he could even think about how to hurt you, you swung your leg around and he fell with a thud on his back. Before he could say “ow” you tied him up with your webs and hung him from an overhead fire escape. You held up your wrist to check the time.

You were making good time, if you didn’t leave soon the cops would probably be here, and you didn’t want them to know you existed. You shot a web to the roof of the building next to you and was ready to launch yourself up. “Wait!” Spider-Man ran towards you. “Who are you?!” You hesitated and gripped the web tighter in your hands.

“You have to promise not to tell anyone about me.” You tugged on the web and launched yourself to the roof. You heard him try to chase after you, but you were faster, and already around the corner before he could even get out of that alley. While you were swinging back to your home, you were running what just happened through your head.

It happened so fast–just as you’d originally hoped–but you wanted to be able to talk with him more. You’d been dreaming of that moment for so long, but your need to keep your existence a secret had outweighed your want to meet your idol. If any news of your vigilante identity was learned by the general public, then your parents would immediately know it was you.

You looked down at the time again: 2:09 am it glowed, and you decided to turn in early. Tomorrow was Monday, and you didn’t want to start the week any grumpier than you needed to be.

You swung to your room’s window and crept in as quietly as you could, stripping the suit off, trading it for your pajamas, and hiding it under your mattress. You set your smart watch in a drawer in your desk and hopped into bed.

I still can’t believe I met Spider-Man today… You closed your eyes and slowly drifted into slumber.

Y/N… Y/N…

You grumbled and covered your face with your covers. Suddenly, said covers were torn from your body and you were exposed to the coldness of your bedroom. You curled up to keep the heat in.

“Y/N, you’re going to be late! Get up!” You mother shook you awake. You glanced over at your alarm clock with glazed eyes and tried to focus them onto the numbers. 7:15 am You cursed loudly, and shot out of bed as if you hadn’t stayed up late the night before. You threw on a random graphic tee, some jeans, your Converse, and stuffed all your homework that was on your desk into your backpack. You quickly brushed your teeth, rinsed with some mouthwash (almost swallowing it in your haste), grabbed your glasses and went for the door. “Don’t forget your gloves!” Your mom reminded, and you ran back to your room to find them on your desk.

“What about breakfast?” Your dad said behind his phone. You tore through the pantry frantically, looking for the granola bars. You snatched one, held it up, and ran out the door. “Have a nice day! Love you!” Your mom managed to get out as fast as she could before you tore down the stairs.

Midtown High was far enough away that you needed to take the morning bus to get there. “Shit shit shit….” You muttered as you were waiting at the bus stop, tapping your foot impatiently. You looked at the time again–7:30 am. Even though you got ready at super speed (which wasn’t an ability you had), there was no way you’d make it to school on time. The only way you’d make it was if…

No. You can’t. You scolded yourself silently for even thinking about it. Even if it were faster to travel by web, you wouldn’t dare show yourself in broad daylight. Your bus finally arrived and you hopped on as quickly as you could, trying to stay calm while sitting as close to the exit as possible. Looking at the time, you knew for sure you’d be late, so you pulled up Facebook Messenger on your phone and sent one of your classmates a text.

Hey, I’m gonna be hella late for class. Could you let Mr. Bradly know for me?

Send. The bus departed, and you kept checking your phone every 2 seconds for a reply. Your phone buzzed and checked the reply.

I got you, girl. 👍

Though it wasn’t much, your anxiety subsided slightly. Your stop was coming up, and before the bus was even close to stopping you were up and ready to bolt once those doors were open.

You ran across the street and down the block to reach the entrance of Midtown High. It was a pretty grand and nice high school, but then again, you haven’t seen many high schools. You rushed into the office and checked in, then sped-walked to your classroom on the other side of the building.

It was terrifying to walk into the class as the teacher was talking. Most of the people looked back at you when they heard the door open and stared at you as you quietly made your way to your assigned (but not assigned) seat. As you were getting your things out of your backpack, you were hoping and praying that your teacher wouldn’t stop his lecture to ridicule you, especially in front of the whole class.

He simply acknowledged your entrance with a glance and continued with what he was talking about. Thank GOD. You screamed in your head. You took a deep breath and let out the quietest sigh you could, as you finally had the chance to relax after rushing to get there. What a great way to start the week. You mentally rolled your eyes and paid attention to what was going on in class.

It wasn’t until after first period that you realized you’d forgotten to put on your gloves. Unlike Spider-Man, you had an additional ability to poison people with just a touch from your fingertips. You had learned to control it for the most part, but you and your parents were still unsure about it so you always wore gloves. You didn’t want to possibly kill some poor teenager or stranger on the street. You were lucky that you didn’t touch anyone on the way from the bus stop. Once they were on, you felt much more relaxed and headed towards one of your favorite classes: Algebra.

Most of your peers either hated, or were indifferent about the subject, but you loved it. Unlike literature, math was a language that made sense to you. You should’ve been taking Calculus, but it would cause credit issues and scheduling problems so you just took the advanced math offered to sophomores at Midtown. It was one of the easiest classes for you, and it wasn’t long until your teacher asked you to be a tutor, and not only for Algebra, but up into Calculus as well.

There was only one other student as young as you, and it was some kid genius named Peter Parker. You’d never met him since you started school, but he was pretty famous amongst your nerd circle. Everyone in that group was very intelligent, but Peter was described to be godly in a way. In all honesty, you wanted to befriend him, but your social skills weren’t the best. You had a lot of classmates you considered close acquaintances but no close friends yet. You were hoping you’d get the gist of things once you settled into Midtown’s student body.

“Hey, Y/N, that’s

him

.” Someone nodded towards a boy at the other end of the cafeteria with brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a button-up and a sweater over it and fit the whole “genius” character.

“That’s Peter Parker?” You weren’t impressed. Even though he fit the nerd archetype, he just didn’t scream genius to you. But who were you to judge? He even sat by himself; well with his friend which you had a class or two with named Ned. “Why do they sit by themselves?” You asked.

“Ehh, he’s not very social.”

“He’s too damn smart to be sitting with us ‘commoners.’“ One of them smirked.

“He’s probably thinking about how dumb we are compared to him.” Another remarked.

With every stab they made at him, you were getting angrier and angrier. How could they be so cruel to someone they never even talked to? It sounded like a lot of assumptions on their part, and it was pissing you off. You then did something that you’d never wanted to do, and that was shout.

“You’re just jealous!” You spat and then recoiled at the suddenness of your aggression. The tables around you were starting to stare. You immediately regretted the outburst, but kept going. “I-I’m smart too,” you stuttered softer, “but I don’t hear you complaining about me.” A short pause.

“Well, you don’t flaunt it around, Y/N.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, neither does he, but your heads seem to be too far up your asses to notice!” You slammed your hands on the table as you got up and grabbed your backpack and tray.

“Y/N…” one of them muttered, but you were already storming off to an empty table.

Your hands were shaking, and you felt like tears were coming. You’d just ruined any chances of becoming friends with any of them. Your brain started relaying all the worst-case scenarios: they’d never talk to you ever again; they’d sabotage your science projects out of spite; they’d give you hell in computer science club. The list was endless, and your brain was checking off each and everyone of them as a possibility. Not only that, but the people who were around your table would know how angry you’d gotten and probably think you were some jerk.

You were about to get up to dump your food in the trash and seek shelter in the bathroom, but you heard someone sit in a chair across from you. Oh God… please go away… You tried to calm the shaking down in your hands but it wasn’t stopping. There was an awkwardly long pause, and the mysterious person asked, “Hey, um, are you okay?” It was a calm and almost welcoming voice, if that made any sense, and it belonged to a boy.

You shook your head and kept your head facing down on the table and your arms hiding your head from their view. “Do you need to go to the nurse?” Your leg was shaking erratically. What was this feeling? You felt like you were in danger, but nothing was happening…

“I-I’m fine…” Your voice wavered and you tried to take deep breaths.

“Seriously,” he whispered, “if you need me to walk you to the nurse’s office I will.” Not knowing what to do, you nodded and slowly sat up to get a look at the stranger. It was Peter Parker, out of all the people to come to your aid, it was him. Was this some cruel irony? “I can take your tray…” He offered and you nodded, catching a glance at his calm and kind demeanor. You felt like the whole cafeteria was staring at you, so you hoisted your backpack and tried to escape the room as quick as you could. “Wait–” you immediately stop, because there was a familiarity in his voice that sparked a curiosity.

You’d never met Peter before this horrendous encounter, but something about him seemed so familiar. It was a good thing you stopped because he had to gather his things and tell his friend where he was going. After walking out of the cafeteria, you ease up slightly, and let out a huge sigh.

“Um, I’m Peter, by the way. Peter Parker.”

“I know.” You didn’t even think twice, and realized how rude you sounded. “Sorry, I know of you. I’m Y/N.” You hold out your hand to shake, and he takes it.

“Y/N? Are you one of the math tutors?”

“Um, yeah. I like math…” You look down at the ground. He noticed how uncomfortable it made you, and tried to combat it.

“I only ask because I thought I saw your name on the list recently.” He gave a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his neck. “So I guess there’s two geniuses in our class now.” He joked and you shrugged.

“I wouldn’t call myself a genius…” You were confident in your intelligence, but never really considered yourself a genius. “I was home schooled and got into computers to pass the time, that’s all.”

“Really? That’s cool, ‘cause that’s a hobby of mine!” His eyes lit up and so did yours for a brief moment. You were going to say something else on the subject, but you looked up at the sign over the door ahead and realized you had made it to your destination.

“Thank you for walking me here, Peter. I really appreciate it.” You bit your lip, a nervous habit of yours, and he smiled.

“No problem, Y/N.” There was a long pause, and you didn’t know what to say or do.

“Um, I’ll see you around.” You opened the door to the nurse’s office and gave a little wave.

“Yeah, I’ll see you around…”

#Spider-Man imagines #Spider-Man oneshots #Submission #THANK YOU #Marvel imagines #Marvel oneshots #Peter Parker imagines #Peter parker oneshots #Avengers imagines #Avengers oneshots #submission

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kinkykinard · 8 years ago

Note

Congrats on 400! That's an amazing number, and I'm sure it will only grow from here. Your kindness and fun personality make you a shining star of Tumblr, honestly you have to be one of the nicest and most caring people in the entire world. All of your work is out of this world and it's beautiful. For the A to Z Drabble, I hope I'm in time, but could you do Henoch-Schonlein Purpura (HSP) as a reader insert? You are the best! Congratulations again! :) Your friend, Ree :)

Thank you so much, Ree! You’re making me blush.

You dash into the Academy’s medical building wearing a decidedly not-regulation pair of pajama pants and a tank top - the same outfit you’d awakened in after sleeping off the strep throat infection you’d been prescribed antibiotics for the day prior.

After a brief, panicked exchange with the receptionist at the desk, you’re led into an exam room and instructed to wait for the doctor. Sitting pretty is easier said than done, however, and you find yourself pacing back and forth in the room anxiously, stretching your aching knees, rather than perching on the bio bed.

The door slides open and your sometimes doctor, full-time boyfriend walks in, his eyebrow quirked in the way that only he can manage without looking completely ridiculous. You stop pacing and stare him down, caught like a deer in the headlights.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?” He asks, approaching you and wordlessly encouraging you to back up toward the bio bed. “Did those antibiotics not do the trick?”

“I don’t know,” you stammer. “You tell me.”

You sit up on the bed and pull one of your legs up, planting your heel on the edge of the exam table and pulling up your pants to expose your lower leg. It’s covered in angry, deep red patches. To your untrained eyes it looks terrible and you’re completely convinced that you’ve got something a lot more sinister than strep throat.

You watch Leonard as he leans in a little closer and runs his fingertips over the lesions.

“Aren’t you going to put on gloves?!” You yelp.

He chuckles softly.

“It’s not contagious,” he assures you. “Do you have pain anywhere? In your joints, or your abdomen?”

“My knees are sore,” you reply, still looking at him warily.

Straightening up, he retrieves a tricorder and gestures for you to lie down. Rolling your pants back down, you comply, watching him as he scans you with the instrument, his expression neutral.

“What is it?” You ask impatiently. “What can you do about it?”

He finishes the scan, putting the tricorder away and smiling at you, reaching out to playfully ruffle your hair.

“It’s called Henoch-Schonlein Purpura, or HSP,” he replies. “Not a lot I can do, sweetheart, it’s just got to run it’s course. I’ll give you something to help the knee pain, and the rash will fade on its own in a week or two. Your kidney function is fine, but I’ll want to re-check it in a couple of days to make sure it stays that way, so I want to see you again on Friday.”

It’s a relief knowing that you’re not in any sort of danger and you feel your cheeks heat up with a blush as you meet his gaze.

“Can I see you before then?” You ask. “I may be confined to my quarters until I’m feeling better, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. How about a movie tonight after your shift? I’ll have popcorn ready.”

His smile is dazzling and sets your heart fluttering.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he says with a wink.

#400 followers #drabbles #milestones #drabble

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spicycreativity · 3 years ago

Text

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 4

Chapter: 4/12

Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix.

Chapter Content Warnings:

Excerpt:

Remus smacked the back of Janus’ head with his open palm. “You sneaky little shit."

“Maybe now you’ll think twice about your letter-writing habits.”

Remus fixed Janus with his glassy-eyed gaze and gave a slow, wicked smile. “Was it not up to your ssssssssstandards,” he asked, “you good old-fashioned lover boy?”

A palm-sized origami frog perched on Janus' door at about eye level, with a small envelope in its mouth. Remus' work.

You know that talk is cheap

And those rumors ain't nice

And when I fall asleep

I don't think I'll survive the night

Janus peeled the frog off the door and examined the envelope as he walked to his desk.

He handled it gingerly, but it didn't explode or burst into flames or (God forbid) start singing. It was only an envelope with a single sheet of paper inside, on which Remus had written… his version of a love poem:

Dear Patton-oster,

How fiercely dost thou squeeze my pulsing heart!

Thy fist that veiny organ grips too strong.

Let my blood coat thy most clandestine parts:

By which, of course, I mean your dick-- come on.

My heart thy dick with equal firmness hold,

And stroke thyself as I too stroke for thee:

Yes, nightly! nightly! many nights untold,

I marry the bed, wishing it were thee.

I do admit thy puns exasperate,

Still, I picture you when I masturbate.

Signed,

Your Secret Admirer

Face aflame, Janus carefully folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope, inserted the envelope in the frog's mouth, gently placed the frog in his wastebasket, and set the whole thing on fire.

He had work to do, work that didn't involve Remus' influence.

Exerting his own influence over Thomas' thoughts was a mere matter of re-prioritizing. It was easier now that Patton wasn't outright working against him, although their functions were still nearly incompatible.

Janus stared at the empty expanse of the desk before him, shiny lacquered ebony, and braced his elbows on it. It helped to move his hands as he worked. On a good day, he would use all six. Today, he only used two, and weaved suggestions. He bound them up with logic (or what seemed like logic) and tied them to anxieties.

The fire in his wastebasket went out on its own, but not before leaving scorch marks on the side of his desk and filling the room with a smell of smoke that brought Janus' headache back with a vengeance and made his eyes water and his throat sting.

He spared a thought to summon two more aspirin and a glass of water (no, Blue Cherry Gatorade).

He got the hard work out of the way first before moving on to innocuous white lies. These came attached to morality. Janus focused on his work rather than letting his mind wander to thoughts of Patton's smile, the way his laugh made Janus feel like he'd just stepped into a sunbeam.

Hours must have passed, but he scarcely noticed, caught up in the gentle flow of his work.

"Janus?" The sound of knocking on the door brought his train of thought to a screeching halt.

Janus dropped the threads he'd been holding and immediately started to cough upon snapping back to reality. What had he been thinking, setting a fire like that?

"You okay in there?" Patton asked, voice muffled through the door. "I think I can smell smoke!"

"It's nothing, Patton." Janus wiped his streaming eyes. The tears left dark marks on his gloves. "One moment." He walked, slowly, like everything was under control, to the door, vanishing all the smoke and fixing the side of his desk as he went.

He only cracked the door at first, in case this was some sort of elaborate trap to get him to socialize with the others, but it was only Patton who stood there. He was holding a sheet of computer paper, folded into a card.

Janus' gaze fell on it and he forgot social niceties, nearly igniting his wastebasket again in a fit of panic. Surely Remus hadn't--

"It's for you," Patton said, holding out the card.

"Oh." Janus took it and examined the crayon drawing of a rainbow on the front. " Please tell me this is a disturbingly well-thought-out love poem."

"What?" Patton's smile became strained, then faltered into a look of puzzlement.

For the second time that day, Janus was forced to hide his blush under a mask. "Never mind. It was a bad joke." He took the card from Patton. "I'll just open this." He proceeded to do so while Patton babbled something about leaving poetry to the 'prose.'

The card turned out to be an invitation to watch Planet Earth with Patton and Logan later that night. Endearingly, Patton had included a little notecard so Janus could RSVP.

Janus summoned a brass Monteverde Invincia in his right hand before realizing he had no surface to write on.

Patton evidently noticed him floundering and turned around, removing his cardigan as he went. "Here, use my back."

"Couldn't I just tell you?" Janus mumbled, though he knew the answer. By summoning a pen, he had demonstrated a willingness to play the game.

So he pressed the RSVP card to Patton's back and marked the box next to 'yes.'

The bare patch of skin where his sleeve cuff rode up brushed against the fabric of Patton's shirt, sending a white-hot thrill through Janus' chest.

For unrelated reasons, he dropped the pen. He sent it back to his desk before it hit the floor. "Done."

Patton turned around and snatched the card from Janus' hand before Janus even registered what was happening. For a split second, his face lit up. Then it fell back into a neutral, guarded expression. "Do you mean it?" When Janus nodded, he continued, "I kind of would have expected… y'know, the opposite."

"I wasn't trying to be considerate; I know how much you love it when you can't understand me."

"Oh! That is nice of you, Janus."

Janus waved a hand. "Well, we're all making changes." He carefully did not make a face after saying this. He'd known it was true, but it felt different to say it out loud; it made a sick shiver crawl down his spine. Then something else struck him. "Oh."

"What?"

"Remus is likely to drop in tonight." Patton tilted his head, and his eyes flicked between Janus and the direction of the curtain, so Janus elaborated, "No, I didn't invite him. Never mind the fact that there's no way I could have while standing here and talking to you, it is precisely the fact that he wasn't invited that makes me think he's going to come."

"Oh," said Patton. "Should I invite him? I don't want to be rude."

Janus' mind jumped to the ashes still smoldering in his wastebasket and said, "No." He lowered his voice and added, "But when he does show up, please do try to give him a warm welcome."

"Him?"

Janus only raised an eyebrow. "Unless you have some moral objection?"

Patton sighed. "Okay."

In the few hours before he was due to meet Logan and Patton in the living room, Janus finished up his work. Logan had pointedly straightened out a few of the logical fallacies Janus had woven, and Janus could practically see the red ink splashed across Logan's papers. He let a few of them go, tied the next few tighter, then sat back in his chair.

Whatever Virgil and Roman were doing in their rooms, they certainly weren't working very hard.

Janus passed by their doors on his way to the living room and perceived no signs of life from within, not that he cared. He had extended hands to both Virgil and Roman in the past; it wasn't Janus' fault they wanted to burn bridges. His conscience was clean on both accounts.

End of story.

He definitely wasn't wearing a bitter scowl when he arrived in the living room, and his first reaction upon seeing Patton absolutely was not a warm smile that he hurriedly had to divert into a smirk. That would be silly. Like the others, Patton was a pawn to be used when Janus needed, and tolerated when he didn't. And that absurd cat onesie he was wearing wasn't cute in the slightest.

"You're not wearing a onesie," Patton said, vaulting over the couch with none of a cat's grace. He landed heavily and planted his hands on his hips. "Didn't you read the dress code, bud?"

"'Bud'?" Janus repeated, making no effort to conceal his disgust at the over-familiarity. Just how far was he going to let Patton push him?

Patton faltered and blushed and Janus forgave everything in one fluttering heartbeat. "Sorry," Patton said. "You don't seem like a 'kiddo,' so I thought I could try a new nickname." A look of horror dawned on his face and he gasped and added, "Not that I don't like your name! I think 'Janus' is a lovely name but I call everyone else 'kiddo' so I thought-- But then--"

Janus failed entirely to hold back a rush of laughter. "It's fine. Really."

"So I can call you--"

"Janus. You can call me Janus."

"I'll find a nickname you like," Patton said with a decisive nod.

"Where's Logan, anyway? It's very like him to be late."

"Logan's in the kitchen," Patton waved a hand in that direction. "He's trying out a new method for popping all the popcorn kernels without actually burning the popcorn."

"Well, doesn't that sound fascinating."

Patton didn't appear to be listening. With his mouth twisted in thought, he looked Janus slowly up and down. "Hmm."

Janus swallowed. "Like what you see?"

Patton snapped and suddenly Janus was clad in warm fleece. "Now I do!"

"A parrot?" Janus said, looking down at what was evidently a scarlet macaw onesie.

"Okay, so, maybe I panicked," Patton said. "But I think it suits you, and I ain't fffflying." Janus squinted. Patton continued, apologetically, "Bird puns are harder than you'd think."

Janus adjusted his hat. He kept up the dignified silence just to watch Patton squirm, and not because he was trying to think of a better bird pun. "I suppose I can handle being a parrot for tonight," he said finally, giving up. Patton was right; bird puns were hard.

Just then, Logan emerged from the kitchen with three mismatched bowls balanced in his arms. "I tried using a wok to pop the kernels, and it actually worked quite well."

"Patton got you, too?" Janus asked, studying Logan's unicorn onesie with a critical eye.

Logan thinned his lips and colored slightly. "Well."

Janus made the realization a half second too late. "I suppose it logically follows," he said hurriedly, well-aware that he was making absolutely no sense.

"Oh?"

"I don't expect you'd be able to properly relax in jeans and a tie." Janus waved a hand and noticed a flash of yellow-- Patton had left his gloves on him. Which was to be expected. It wasn't like Janus made any effort to hide how important they were to him. So he didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy that Patton had noticed this and left them (and his hat) on.

Logan gave a short nod and indicated for Janus to take one of the bowls of popcorn.

Remus made his appearance near the beginning of episode two of Planet Earth. “Monkeys, hm?” he said, popping up behind the couch.

They all flinched, even Janus, who had been expecting this. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Patton shook himself and turned toward Remus with a pasted-on smile. “Remus!”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

Patton’s eyes flicked toward Janus, who gave him only the tiniest nod of encouragement in the hopes that Remus wouldn't notice anything amiss. “Uh, I was hoping you would drop by! It’s good to see you.”

“It is ?” Remus said, recoiling. “What’s gotten into you, Daddy Dominus?”

“Nothing! Just bein’ friendly.” Patton’s smile was fading by the second.

“Actually,” Logan said, “I was also hoping you would show up.” He scooted closer to Patton to make a space by the armrest. “You can sit next to me if you’d like.”

Remus glanced between Patton and Logan, his look of puzzlement rapidly morphing into disgust. “Why?”

Finally, he looked to Janus in desperate agitation, his eyes wide and expression utterly helpless. Janus allowed himself to laugh. It wasn’t often that he got one over on Remus, who was notoriously hard to ruffle.

"You!” Remus shouted.

“You should have ssseen your face!” Janus said in between breathless spasms of laughter.

Remus smacked the back of Janus’ head with his open palm. “You sneaky little shit."

“Maybe now you’ll think twice about your letter-writing habits.”

Remus fixed Janus with his glassy-eyed gaze and gave a slow, wicked smile. “Was it not up to your ssssssssstandards,” he asked, “you good old-fashioned lover boy?”

Janus bit his tongue. Now was not the time to engage Remus in an argument, playful though it was. “Why don’t you sit down by Logan and watch the monkeys? Now that you know he and Patton don’t want you here.”

“I don’t-- You asked--” Patton protested feebly.

Remus was examining his fingers like he was thinking about sticking them in Patton’s mouth when Logan interjected, “I was not in on any prank, Remus. You’re welcome to sit next to me.”

Remus ignored him. “This isn’t over, Shakespeare in the Dark.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see what you do next.” Janus waved goodbye as Remus sank out with one final lewd gesture at Patton. Before Logan or Patton could ask any questions, Janus snatched the remote from Logan’s hand with one deft motion and hit play.

The rest of the episode became blurrier and less meaningful by the moment until the sight of the TV screen slipped away, then the sound, then everything.

Janus only became aware he’d fallen asleep when he half-woke in somebody’s arms.

“Don’t freak out,” Remus said, “it’s just me. Didn’t think you’d want to spend the night on the couch.”

Janus nodded against Remus' chest and closed his eyes again.

Aside

When the clock struck 3:00 am, Roman stuck his head out his bedroom door and looked around for any signs of life. He couldn't face the others, not yet. Seeing nothing, he walked barefoot to the kitchen. He stared at the carpet as he went, still keeping an ear out for any indication that the others were awake. But there was nothing, so he proceeded.

The kitchen was dark except for the light over the sink, which Patton always switched on at night. Roman sighed and braced his arms against the bar. He had hoped the change of scenery might make him feel better,, but it only increased the loneliness sitting heavy on his chest.

He jumped when Virgil’s voice came from the shadows. “Been missing out on beauty sleep? You look rough.”

Roman turned to find Virgil seated on the counter opposite the bar with his legs splayed out in front of him and his back pressed against the fridge. He breathed a sigh of relief through his nose. He could at least face Virgil. “You don’t look so good yourself.” It was true. Virgil's coal-black eyeshadow was smudgier than Roman had ever seen it, and the way it streaked down toward his jaw made it look as though Virgil had inadvertently smeared it with his fingers by repeatedly running his hands down his face. "Where have you been, anyway?"

Virgil's lip curled. "Let's just say I'm going through it right now and leave it at that."

"So am I, my preoccupied purple partner. So am I." Roman hopped up on the counter by Virgil's feet and nearly smacked his head on the cabinets. Virgil, to his credit, only laughed a little bit. "I actually haven't seen the others in… several days now."

"Did something happen?"

"Let's just say a certain sneaky snake Side slithered his way into a situation that didn't concern him."

Virgil sat up straight. "What did he do? Is everyone okay?"

"Oh, everyone's fine. He and Patton and Thomas are all best pals now, and… Well, I suppose royal red is going out of style."

"He turned Patton against you like that?" Virgil demanded. "How? Patton can be naive at times, but he's not dumb ."

Roman sighed and buried his face in his hands. "No, Virgil, I'm afraid that was all me. I don't even want to tell you what I did, but I'm going to stay in my room until… Well, I don't know. Until the nightmare ends, I suppose."

"Jeeze." Virgil gave a mirthless chuckle. "Well, now my thing doesn't seem so bad. I also haven't been out of my room in several days."

"I know, Sweet Emo-tion, I was starting to worry. What happened? Did Thomas start thinking about that time in 9th grade where he--"

"No!" Virgil said, a touch too loud. "Uh, no. I… I told him."

"...About that time in 9th grade where he--"

"I told him I used to be, you know, a 'Dark Side'."

"And he took it badly?" Roman asked. "Really? But he loves you."

"He just looked at me." Virgil swallowed hard, his eyes vacant. "And somehow his silence was so much worse than anything he could have actually said to me."

"Well." Roman let his head fall back against the bottom of the cabinets with a dull thud. "Aren't we the pretty pair? The disgraced prince and the not-so-reformed villain."

"Yeah."

For a moment, they were silent.

Then Roman said, in an uncertain tone. "Virgil?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I really never thought I'd say this, but. I'm glad you're here with me. I'm glad it's you ."

"Honestly? Same." Virgil bit his lip and fixed his gaze on his socks. "Do you... maybe want to hang in my room for a bit? We can have a sleepover. A really depressing, pathetic sleepover."

"I think I'd like that," Roman said. And for the first time in days, he smiled .

#spicywrites #spicywrites soft-shoe shuffle #song featured: dream police - cheap trick

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