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horansqueen · 4 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 33

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i actually enjoyed writing this. but i feel like i forgot something and i cant put my fingers on it.

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here they are! hope you like them! changed the second one a bit tho

Chapter 33 : His chapter

NIALL

March 29th, 2018

Ninteen days. Nineteen long days without her and I was back again in Dublin for a show before I could take a plane to her and spend over two weeks with her. If I wanted to be honest with myself, these past weeks had been horrible. I waited for her calls like a dependent and crazy boyfriend and it made me think that perhaps, it was how she felt when I spent so much time at a bar, back then. I could pretend I was not scared that the feelings she had for Dylan would somehow change and become stronger than the ones she had for me, but deep down, I knew It was a fear of mine. They say 'out of sight, out of mind', right?

I didn't know if I should worry or not because despite the fact that she has loved me for as long as she can remember, I was well aware that feelings change. After all, she hadn't broken up with Dylan for me, she had made that clear and I knew anyway, which meant that going back to him was always an option. I shook my head, a bit lost in my thoughts, as people around me were laughing and preparing the show. I didn't want to go out there and sing, I didn't want to be here. Not if she was somewhere else.

I did everything like a zombie, feeling a bit numb, and finally grabbed my guitar and putting a smile on my face. I jumped slightly when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see a blond head, making me smile more.

"You alright?"

I blinked a few times and just nodded before turning around but suddenly, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Jules?" i asked loud enough for her to hear me. "Where's Liv's note? I was sure I put it here."

Julia frowned and started looking around before shaking her head. "Are you sure you left it here?"

My heartbeats started accelerating. I knew I had to be on stage in less than two minutes and I had completely forgotten about the note. In fact, my mind had been blank for a few hours. Julia and I both started searching everywhere and I was literally starting to panic. I knew it was not that big of a deal if I missed opening her envelop one time, or even if I walked on stage 10 minutes late, but for some reason, it stressed me so much it made me want to puke.

I don't know how long it took but I saw Julia run back to me, her arm up in the air, holding a pink envelop, zigzagging to dodge people on her way to me. I sighed and felt the stress falter. She got in front of me and I snatched the envelop from her hands before pulling her into a tight hug.

"Thank you!"

She chuckled and pulled away before grabbing my phone and licking her lips. "Okay, open it, I'm filming you."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, feeling suddenly a bit more relaxed. The show could wait and if I wanted to be honest, I was impatient to smell Olivia's perfume from the paper, to see her horrible handwriting and the little hearts she always draw everywhere. It was the boost I needed before going up there to spend two hours singing songs that reminded me of her. I needed it. It became more than an habit, I was fucking addicted.

Quickly, I teared the envelop and let it fall on the floor as the scent of honey and vanilla filled my nose. I glanced up at the camera and noticed how big Julia was smiling. I hadn't told her that Olivia and I were more than friend but she had heard the whole story and somehow, she had pushed me to go back to her. I never followed her advice because I knew Olivia was with Dylan but now that it was a secret, I felt bad for lying to her. I had told her about the letters Olivia gave me but hadn't mentioned that they were filled with dirty stuff and love words, and now that she was filming, it was going to be tough answering whatever Liv had written in that note.

"Hey petal." I said in a soft tone, looking at my phone. "Last letter of yours before I fly back there! Hope you're ready for pubs and movie nights because I fucking am!" I laughed and looked down to read the purple glitter words on the pale pink paper, my face changing more and more as my eyes scanned the letter.

'Niall James Horan, I love you. I want nothing but to be with you right now. And maybe I actually am. If you look carefully, you may see me.'

I frowned and looked up at Julia who chuckled a bit. "Turn the sheet."

I did it quickly and noticed she had written something else. 'Yes, dumbass. I'm here. I took a plane to you. Now go on stage. I'll hold you in my arms as soon as your show is over.'

Julia kept filming and moved closer to me, snatching the letter from my hand and pushing me toward the stage. I tried to resist, my eyes looking around to see where she was and Julia laughed more.

"Go, Niall! You'll see her soon!"

I frowned and turned to her, my eyes getting bigger.

"You knew?" I asked in a shocked tone, making her shrug. "Wait, where is she?"

"Stage!" Julia said with her soft light voice, trying to be firm. "Now!"

I kept looking around but finally walked on stage, starting with the first song. I knew the song by heart and didn't really have to think much. It was good since all my thoughts were taken by my best friend, wondering if she was really here and if yes, when would I be able to take her in my arms. I finished the song and when I turned around, my eyes caught someone on the side of the stage. No one in the crowd could see her but when our eyes met, her lips curled more. She hadn't changed at all. She tilted her head and pressed her lips together and even though I shouldn't have, I literally ran backstage, held my guitar to the first person I saw and wrapped my arms around her neck as she wrapped hers around my chest.

"Fuck, you’re really here." I whispered, leaning my cheek on her head before kissing her hair and holding her tighter.

She chuckled but I felt her shake in my arms as if she was sobbing and she squeezed me harder, rubbing her cheek on my shirt a few times before gripping it in my back. It took her a few minutes but she finally sniffed and tried to get out of my embrace.

"You need to go back." she pointed out in a low tone, but I still heard her voice break.

"Just a few more seconds." I replied, pulling her back in my arms.

It was torture to not be able to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her but I moved my head down, bringing my lips very close to her ear.

"I fucking missed you. I can't believe you're here." I whispered, feeling my bottom lip brush against her ear. "You're the best gift I ever had."

She chuckled and pushed me away gently again, wiping a tear on her cheek and moving her chin in my direction. "Go!"

I hesitated but finally got back on stage to sing a few more songs but when I started Flicker, I couldn't help but glance at Olivia over and over again. The memories of writing this song and of the falling we had at the end of our relationship started flooding me and I suddenly felt myself tear up. I had to stop near the end of the song and just walked off stage again, going back to her. This time, I didn't even take the time to put my guitar away, I just moved it in my back in a swift movement and gripped my best friend again, pulling her against me.

"I want to kiss you." I whispered as she nuzzled my neck, feeling tears fall down my cheeks despite myself.

"Me too, Niall."

"I love you okay?" I added quickly in a low tone, my eyes closed, trying to stop crying. "I love you and that song is so fucking tough to sing."

I heard her swallow hard and she brushed her nose on my neck. "I'm here now. I'm back. And I'm not leaving."

"I'm not leaving either. Never again."

----

We ended up backstage after the show and all grabbed a beer. Olivia was laughing with Julia a bit afar and I couldn't take my eyes off her. I wasn't even aware that these two actually talked to each other but watching them interact made me feel good for a reason I ignored. Perhaps, the fact that Olivia was ready to get to know more of my friends made this whole thing easier. Back then, she only really hung out with Louis or the people we hung out with before I was famous. She never really showed interest in meeting my other friends or hanging out with people I met as a singer and even if I understood she didn't feel at ease, it still made me sad.

They both turned to me and looked back at each other before laughing together and I suddenly got curious. I got up and walked to them, bending slightly between them and raising my eyebrows.

"You guys are talking about me?"

"Were we?" Julia asked with a frown, a big smile still gracing her lips and a dimple digging in her cheek.

"We were talking about how incredible Julia had been. She was so discreet you didn't see it coming." Olivia replied, turning to me and sending me a smile, too. "I think she's officially my favorite friend of yours, now."

I looked at Liv as she turned to Julia again and they both laughed some more. It was horrible that I couldn't just grab her and kiss her but I still moved my arm around her waist and I could have sworn her smile got bigger.

"Yea, well done." I admitted, shaking my head. "And now I have two free weeks and we can spend it here. What do you say?"

"I only have a few days, Nee, I'm sorry." she admitted, her facial expression turning into a guilty one. "But I can join you in France when you start your tour again? I asked that week to go see my parents."

My eyes roamed on her face and I felt something break inside me. It took me half a second to take a decision.

"I'll just go back to Cali with you." I let out in a low voice, moving a bit closer to her. "Maybe I can go to one of your filming days?"

Her lips curled and she glanced at Julia, making me suddenly remember that we were not alone. I turned to Julia too and saw her try to hide a smile by pressing her lips hard together. She turned around and walked away to go talk to someone else and I turned back to Liv, raising my nose up in a grimace.

"Oops, sorry." I whispered, holding my breath. "You think she knows?"

"If she's not completely stupid yea. I mean, the girl has two functioning eyes and two clearly great ears, if I trust the way she sings. So yea, she knows." Olivia pointed out with a chuckle.

"You're not mad?"

She tilted her head as she stared at me, her amused smile turning quickly into a fond one. I felt my palm burn on her back, over her shirt, and she sighed low.

"Niall, I think it's time you bring me back to your hotel room, what do you say?"

I didn't have a hotel room. In fact, I was ready to leave right after the show to catch my plane but now that plans had changed, I had to think about something, and there was no way I was going back to sleep at my parents'.

"I'll find one."

I quickly grabbed my phone in my pocket and called the hotel I stayed in the night before to reserve a room. I sighed in relief when I found out they weren't all taken and finally hung up and turned back to her.

"Done."

Her lips curled and she nodded and quickly, we said our goodbyes to everyone. No one insisted that we stayed or followed them to a bar and we just took a cab and left. She didn't kiss me until the hotel room's door closed behind us and I didn't try to force anything, but I couldn't pretend the whole ride was not painful.

Her mouth crashed on mine after she dropped her bags and I finally let mine fall too as she deepened the kiss. I could feel her smile against my lips and chuckled, bringing both my hands to her back and slipped them under her shirt.

"Watching the nudes you send while I jerk off every fooking night isn't enough." I admitted, trailing kisses quickly down her neck. "I want to bring you with me for the rest of the tour, I miss your body too much."

She giggled like a school girl and it made me smile more. "You want me to follow you everywhere so you can use me whenever you need a good fuck?"

"Yes, petal." I admitted in a whisper after letting out a groan. "How much would you like to be my little cum dump? How much do you want me to just grab your hair and fuck your fanny until I cum every fucking time I need it?"

"Mm, someone is in serious need of a good fuck." she pointed out, running her hand on my cock, over my pants. "You're being very nasty."

"You love it, don't even pretend otherwise."

She chuckled against my mouth and quickly worked on my pants. I unbuttoned hers and slipped my hand in her panties, making her head fall back slightly and her eyes flutter.

"You like that, princess?" I asked, brushing my lips on her jaw and neck. "I really need to fuck you hard and fast. You're so wet I'm sure you can cum fast, yeah?"

"Too horny for love making tonight, I see." she whispered with a smile, making me groan again.

"If you want me to make love to you petal, I will." I groaned low. "That shows how much I love you because I'm so fucking horny I don't really want to go slow."

She pulled away slightly and her eyes met mine. She tilted her head and stared at me for a few seconds before licking her lips.

"Fuck me hard and fast, then." she proposed. "We got all night anyway, yea?"

"Pet, if you allow me to fuck you 10 times tonight I fucking will."

She started laughing and I shut her up by pressing my lips against hers and immediately deepening the kiss. I loved the taste of her tongue and when she grabbed mine to suck on it, I slipped a finger inside her and started rubbing my thumb slowly on her clit. She moaned in my mouth and I felt her body tense, making me smile more.

"Apparently, I'm not the only one who needs a proper fuck."

It took us less than a minute to get naked and when I sat on the bed, she quickly straddled me and sat on my cock. I wrapped my arms around her as she let out a low whimper, closing her eyes. I grabbed her hair from behind and pulled on it, making her moan again as I brought my hand between us right after licking my thumb. I pressed it on her clit and she squirmed a bit, making me hold her hair tighter.

"It feels so fucking good to be balls deep inside you, pet."

I ran my tongue on one of her breasts and felt her nipple harden against it. I loved the way her body reacted to every single one of my touches. She squirmed a bit and I groaned as I felt her throb around my cock before grabbed her other breasts hard.

"Missed your tits so much." I slapped it gently and she squirmed again. "You're so fucking horny baby you're dripping on me."

"Please Niall." she let out in a mix of a whisper and a whimper. "Let me ride you."

I stared at how fucked she looked and finally let go of her hair. Her lips pressed against mine half a second later and she started moving over me slowly at first and then harder and faster. I didn't know how long I was going to last and I breathed through my teeth before she bit my bottom lip.

"You always do that when you're really horny don't you?" I asked with a smirk, pulling my upper body back to look at her.

She sent me puppy eyes, her chin moving down as she stared at me through her eyelashes. It made me want to own her even more and be rough with her.

"I do that because I really really want you."

I let my hand run on her back and when I reached her ass, I spanked her hard enough to make her tense. Her movements faltered and she moaned low, cupping my face and kissing me deeply again.

"I'm really really close, Nee." she murmured against my mouth. "I'm about to cum all over your cock."

I already knew that. I could feel her clench hard around my dick and I pulled away slightly again to look in her eyes. There was nothing I loved more than watching her squirm over me as she came.

"Do it. Show me how good of a little slut you are." I pressed my thumb on her clit and she started moving over me again, bouncing on my cock as I rubbed her clit hard.

It took her half a minute to start shaking and I felt her nails dig in one of my shoulders. The sight of her coming undone made me reach my orgasm too and I gripped her waist harder, my fingers sinking in her skin as I spilled inside her. We both were panting messes as we came down from our highs and she leaned her forehead on my shoulder, letting out a few satisfied whimpers.

"You're mine, yeah?"

"What part of me do you want?" she asked low, running her mouth on my neck and making me smile.

"Your heart, petal." I whispered, turning my head her way, searching for her lips. "You know it,"

"Mm, you're so full of shit." she whispered with a chuckle.

I grabbed her waist and threw her on the bed as she let out a high pitched scream and I quickly moved on top of her, holding myself with my arms on each side of her head.

"I ain't lying." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows as I looked at her.

"I thought you wanted my ass." she let out, half-joking with a smile.

I stared at her for a few seconds, my smile falling slowly and breathed in before sighing.

"I already have that." I explained. "I'm just hoping you can give me your heart at some point, too."

I felt her hand reach for my face and her fingers slipped in my hair. I didn't know how long we stared at each other but after a while, her lips parted.

"My heart has been yours since I was 6 years old, Niall James Horan."

For some reason, her words made a shiver cross my back and I quivered slightly over her. I glanced at her lips and slowly, I moved down and kissed her. I didn't know what I could answer to that so I just remained silent. She moved her knees up, trapping my body between them, and I knew we both felt safe in our happy bubble. It was my favorite place : with her.

"You think everyone knows we left to go fuck?" she asked, making me chuckle.

"I mean, they think we're just friends right?"

Olivia grimaced and I laughed more at how cute it was to see her button nose move up childishly.

"No one ever really thought we were friends, I mean, even your parents made a bet."

It was my turn to grimace. "Please, don't remind me."

"I'm glad I messaged Julia. I was a bit jealous of her before I started talking to her. I mean she spends all her time with you and I know you two are close."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I didn't think she could feel threatened by Julia.

"Says the girl who literally gets rides from her ex fiance after acting as his girlfriend all day!"

"Touché." she laughed. "But there's really nothing between Dylan and I anymore."

My eyes roamed on her face and I sighed. "I love you, Liv, but we both know that's not true." i just said, making her frown slightly. "Of course you still have feelings for him. I wouldn't expect you to just forget about it after a few weeks. And he probably loves you too. And I would lie if I said it doesn't stress me from time to time, especially late at night when I'm waiting for your call."

I thought about the song I had started writing which was once again, about her. It was once again about how much I loved her, but it was also about how painful it was not to know what we were and how she felt. It was about how easily she could hurt me and that if it was the only thing she was able to give me, that I wanted it anyway. It was about how I was all hers and that I was not sure she really was mine. I didn't want to sing it to her, because I didn't want her to feel guilty about the feelings inside me, but I had to write about it, if only to evacuate the pain from my body and mind. She didn't even know how hurt I was sometimes, it didn't even cross her mind, I knew it.

She sent me a fond smile and my heart melted again. I could have moved to lie down next to her but I didn't want to. I wanted our bodies pressed together. They had been away from each other for so long and it was insane how much my skin missed her skin.

"Nothing to worry about. I always think about you."

I smiled. "Nothing to worry about when it comes to Julia either. Or any other woman. Or men. Anyone. My mind, heart and soul are with you 24/7."

"And your body?" she asked with an amused smile.

"Right now it's with you, too. So you've got all of me."

We remained silent for a while, just looking at each other. I focused on the way her body felt beneath mine, and on how well it fitted with mine, like two pieces of a puzzle, and even if I knew it was cheesy, I knew we formed a complete puzzle, me and her. The more time I spent with her, the more I had hope that we would be together again. Officially and forever.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow?" she asked in a low voice.

"Go back to Mullingar and fuck. Pretend we're not famous. Meet with old friends. Go to a pub and fuck. Go see my mom. Fuck. Get a hotel room and fuck again."

She laughed, moving her chin up and closing her eyes, and it made me smile.

"Alright, but just to make sure, are we gonna fuck?" she asked jokingly, making me smirk.

"Yes."

She laughed again and I shut her up by pressing my lips against hers. I didn't want to think about being away from her again. I didn't want this distance thing to become something normal between us. There was no way I could ever get used to being far away from her for weeks. I also knew it was meant to happen again and it made something stir in my stomach but I tried to push the thought away.

"Good plan?" I asked, my lips brushing against hers as I talked before she nodded. "Perfect, Now let's fuck again."

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pynkhues · 5 years ago

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I had really difficult periods for a long time and recently got on birth control and it has helped so so much, is that an option for you? Sending hugs and love and support your way friend

Ah, I’m so sorry that you went through that, anon! Periods can be so nightmarish. :-( I’m returning your hugs and love a million fold, and really appreciate you reaching out. <3 <3

And thank you for your suggestion! I really appreciate that too. :-) I was on birth control for a few years which helped with a lot of my symptoms, which was wonderful, but I stopped getting periods, and the problem with PCOS is that when you stop getting periods, you get ovarian cysts instead, which, errr, isn’t ideal.

This is way TMI, but if people are curious, here ya go:

My gyno wants me to try an IUD because it’s easier for them to customise the hormones for it, which is great, but I’m in a bit of a catch-22 scenario. Basically if I was to get an IUD, I’ve got to commit to not having kids for five years, with the knowledge that, due to my PCOS, my gyno has told me that she’d like me to have a hysterectomy with an oophorectomy in my early 40s at the latest because of my high risk of ovarian, uterine or cervical cancer, and she wants me like, alive, lol (in her literal words last time I saw her, she told me: “As soon as you have the babies you want, I’m taking everything out,” haha. [everything being my uterus, cervix and ovaries] She’s the best and I love her. She also told me after she performed a related surgery on me that I had the most beautiful ovary she’d ever seen, so that’s my favourite weird flex, haha).

But look, I’m 28, so getting the IUD takes me to 33, and (unfortunately, haha) I know that I do want children in the future, so it is something I have to think about.

With the type of PCOS I have, I’m very likely to get pregnant, but my chances of carrying a baby to term without medical assistance is almost non-existent. I am simultaneously very fertile and producing so much oestrogen that my body instantly panics and tells my uterus to abort the pregnancy - the result is like, a 99% chance of miscarriage. If I were to ever get pregnant (or if I have been already? It’s pretty impossible for me to know unless I’m actually trying), I would have to go on a very specific hormone suppressant to try and lock down the situation before my body rejected the pregnancy, and would have a highly medically moderated pregnancy. That doesn’t mean I can’t! - my sister has PCOS too (it’s genetic, folks) and she’s had two babies! She’s also had early on-set cervical cancer, two surgeries to literally burn that cancer out, and two very, very high risk pregnancies, the second of which put her in Intensive Care at the hospital for six weeks, and Nephew #2 in there for ten weeks. (They’re both doing well now, which is what matters!)

And her 31st birthday is literally next week, so like. She’s pretty young.

I got diagnosed when I was 17, so I’ve had 11 years to think about it, and try out treatments, and endure, I guess, haha, so I’m used to it and honestly fairly laid back about it. It’s just a part of me, right? And yeah, it sucks a lot because of the monthly pain and mood swings, and it sucks because sometimes I feel like I’m playiing Russian Roulette with potential cancer on the sheer hope of one day having a kid, but I guess sometimes that’s just the hand you’re dealt.

But yes! I’m okay, haha, and I really, really genuinely appreciate tour concern. <3 I guess the moral of the story is that bodies are weird and not enough medical research is devoted to women-specific issues, because if it was, PCOS and other female hormone related disorders would’ve been ‘cured’ a long time ago.

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jiminshoney · 6 years ago

Text

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

“You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this? “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one. You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough. I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

#taehyung scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #taehyung x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic

53 notes · View notes

pep-perr · 6 years ago

Note

all of them. you won't do it coward.

is this a fucking challenge. I won’t back down bitch you asked for it so here you go

1. Wake her up with kisses lesbian or play with her hair while you wait for her to wake up lesbianI’m nowhere near bold enough to wake her up wtf. With some girls that’s like, a death wish or something.

2. X files lesbian or twin peaks lesbianOnly have seen like, one episode, but I liked it and was debating on watching more or not. I didn’t even know what Twin Peaks was but meh. I’ll pass.

3. Pit Bull lesbian or corgi lesbianI LOVE BOTH BUT PIT BULLS ARE WONDERFUL

4. Sweet tooth lesbian or saturates-everything-in-hot sauce lesbiani can’t do spicy at all unless i want death

5. Sunflower lesbian or white lily lesbianbut hey, I’m biased greatly because I just find white lilies really pretty

6. Rose gold lesbian or white gold lesbianit looks really nice, okay?

7. Dunkin’ donuts/Starbucks lesbian or strictly local cafe lesbianokay maybe not strictly, but why go to D.D or Starbucks if there is a perfectly good local cafe nearby???

8. Sunrise lesbian or sunset lesbianalthough both are very very nice, waking up for the first one can be annoying

9. Emily Dickinson lesbian or Maya Angelou lesbianokay this was a lot harder of a choice than it should have been, because I both like and dislike poems from both of them, and honestly they are about equal??

10. Dark sexy ball gown lesbian or cute bright ball gown lesbianuh I guess?? I don’t wear ball gowns at all, so like. idk. but darker colors always suited me more no matter what it is so?? I guess this works

11. Strawberry lesbian or watermelon lesbiancRONCH. GREEN PART AND ALL.

12. High waisted shorts lesbian or loose rolled up jeans lesbianshorts are dumb.

13. 60s chic lesbian or 60s hippie lesbiantbh neither I guess?? but this’ll do

14. Band lesbian or orchestra lesbianI don’t play in either, but orchestras always play really good and I enjoy going to their concerts

15. Choir lesbian or garage band lesbianfuck choir

16. Twirl her around lesbian or get twirled lesbianspin spin~

17. Sit com lesbian or artsy independent dramatic romance film from France lesbianalthough now I’m curious about the other option that’s so specific what the fuck

18. Bicycle lesbian or bus lesbianno particular reason why outside of the fact that I like to bike

19. Jelly fish lesbian or dolphin lesbianalready answered

20. Biology lesbian or physics lesbianBiology is still super neat though and I’ll probably randomly spout facts from either one. Although I personally would call myself a Geology lesbian. rocks.

21. Studio Ghibli lesbian or Cartoon Network lesbianI haven’t fucking watched Cartoon Network in years hhh. And even then, it was only for Pokemon.

22. Take the spider outside lesbian or scream at her to take the spider outside lesbian….spiders scary

23. Serena Williams lesbian or Ronda Rousey lesbianoh fuck after looking them up they are both hot

24. Prismacolor lesbian or faber castell lesbianMy friend Taylor let me use hers once, and oh my god I love them

25. “Campers are for the weak” lesbian or “I will die before sleeping on the ground” lesbianTENTS ARE A MUST FOR CAMPING!!

26. Calling every female character they see their girlfriend lesbian or “Dana Scully isn’t your girlfriend, I am” lesbian:^)

27. Roller skate lesbian or ice skate lesbianI at least kinda remember how to ice skate

28. “Christmas carols are dumb and over played” lesbian or belting out all I want for Christmas is you at the top of their lungs lesbianfirst one at christmas time, second one every other time of the year.

29. Buy her something lesbian or make her something lesbianAlready answered

30. Cherry mojitos lesbian or cherry flavored vodka lesbianneither I’m too young to drink >:0

31. Write her poems lesbian or bake her cookies lesbianunless we want the house burnt down

32. Tummy kisses lesbian or thigh kisses lesbian(no comment)((because I legitimately don’t have an opinion I’ve done neither??))

33. I’ll fight anyone that makes my girl cry lesbian or I’ll psychologically destroy anyone that makes my girl cry lesbianI’LL FIGHT ANY BASTARD, OR ANY THING THAT I NEED TO.

34. Fall asleep in her arms lesbian or rub her back until she falls asleep in your arms lesbianalthough tbh I could see the first one happening aha..

35. Floral pattern lesbian or tie dye lesbianEspecially if it’s not store bought. Tie dying is fun

36. Snake lesbian or frog lesbianlove the little guys. snakes are neat, but f r o g s

37. Send her memes lesbian or “if you call me the rarest Pepe one more time I swear to god”uwualthough I don’t send memes that often, I do on occasion.

38. Star Wars lesbian or lord of the rings lesbiannever seen any star wars movie, and don’t plan to

39. Spice girls lesbian or 5th harmony lesbian…idk who the other group is sorry

40. Pink hair lesbian or blue hair lesbiannot a big fan of pink in general

41. Maple syrup lesbian or berry syrup lesbianboth, but berry is always a nice change of pace!!

42. Vinyl lesbian or cassette lesbianI still have a few around here somewhere

43. Paris lesbian or Amsterdam lesbiani wanna go there so bad

44. Jazz lesbian or swing lesbiannot many know that I’m a sucker for jazz, but tbh I kind of am.

45. Pin stripes lesbian or plaid lesbianshh

46. Mini golf date lesbian or bowling date lesbianAlready Answered

47. D E S T R O Y her at Mario kart lesbian or let her win lesbianAlready Answered

48. Pullover hoodie lesbian or zip up hoodie lesbianI OWN SO MANY AND I LOVE THEM ALL.

49. Band tshirt lesbian or fandom tshirt lesbianto an extent I’m always afraid of being judged so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ nothing extreme

50. Love her with your entire heart lesbian or lover her with your entire soul lesbianBoth, but I definitely would say the first one more than I would the second.

#there you fucking go #I did it #no one calls me a coward but myself!

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theamazingtrainernate-a · 6 years ago

Text

Unovan Criminal Penitentiary, Lacunosa Town, Unova

9:33 AM

“Didn’t expect ya to come so soon Nate. Or so early. I thought you had another month before your next visit.”

“It’s father’s day, dad.” Nate just gave his father a blank stare from across the visiting table.

Alex blinked twice, then looked around the room. “Oh, right.... wait, weren’t you supposed to bring a card or something? You know, something to let your good ol’ dad know that there’s people still there for him?”

“No,” Nate answered, rolling his eyes. “It’s been like a year and half since I even learned you were my dad, and ya were never around for me anyways.”

“I was there for three months while we were fighting the whole cell. Heck, I think I even saved your life twice.”

“Once... during the explosion, but at the same time you lied to me and manipulated me to help you hack into a government owned facility.” Honestly that got Nate in a lot more trouble than he would’ve liked. He was not only interrogated by his superiors, but attracted the attention of the freaking Interpol Director when he obviously didn’t need the attention. Granted, it worked out; somehow R0T0M managed to get a copy of some of the files regarding the Splinter Cell’s activities (apparently even rogue agent organizations can’t help but write detailed reports on their activities), allowing Nate to confront the Director head on about the entire issue. Still, it was a mess that he would’ve rather avoided.

“So yea, you don’t get a card.”

“What about from Mari?” Alex inquired, to which Nate rolled his eyes again.

“She still hates you. Why would she ever get you a card?”

“Hey hey, calm down kid. I was just curious, that’s all.”

“Every time I come in here ya seem to be curious about her. I thought you didn’t care about her.”

“And what made you think that.”

“Ya ditched her when she obviously cared about ya.”

Alex gave Nate a squinted stare. “Tough words from a moviestar heartbreaker boy.”

Nate rolled his eyes and let out an aggravated sigh. “Most of them liked me for the money or the fame. But we aren’t talkin about me, we’re talkin about you. You coulda at least tried to take her with ya, or told her somethin!”

Alex pinched his temples, letting his fingers slide off them and over his eyes before they met at the bridge of his nose, then let out a sigh. “Look, Nate. I had no idea that the last time she and I... courted, I got her pregnant. And taking her with me was not an option. Back then? She was a sweet, young girl, wonderful eyes, beautiful smile, and definitely someone who wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure of being on the run. While she was raising you, the life I lived was fucked up. Plus she had no business in what I was doing, and neither did you.”

Nate listened intently, only to realize something that he didn’t think of before. “Wait... so you did care about her?”

So playboy knows what love is? Alex thought to himself, letting out a chuckle; it didn’t take many times talking to Nate for Alex to figure out that Nate’s concept of love was skewed. Probably his fault as well, but he couldn’t change that right now. “Back then? Yes. She was wonderful. It’s why I didn’t take any of the other options. Quitting to be with her? I’d be killed off. Still date her? She’d be a target if I either ran away or stayed. Tell her the truth? We’d both be at risk.”

Nate was left silent, rather surprised that he thought it all out, only to realize that this man was a trained interpol agent at one point.

“So yes, I cared about her a lot. If I was a normal playboy and not some top interpol secret agent, I wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to get me to go steady.”

Nate lowered his guard, uncrossing his arms in the process as he looked at Alex in surprise. Even though his dad was sort of a dick, he had strong principles and moral values when it came to Interpol and politics, and now apparently a heart as well, something Nate was never sure about before. Still, he couldn’t help but ask this next question:

“...And what about now?”

Nate’s dad sighed. “Well, according to you, she hates me, so I wouldn’t want to try my luck. Besides, I can’t even try when I’m in jail.”

That was... an unexpected answer, something that left Nate more confused as to what to think, or if he should even talk to his mom about it. Why did he have to be the kid with this weird mess?

Thankfully, his Xtransciever buzzed; it was his mom, saying she’d meet him at Gramps’ place. It was fathers day, and the old man was probably one of the only dudes in his life. Not a father, but a grandfather was close enough... sort of. “Looks like I gotta go. I got a Gramps to see.”

“Oh... alright then.” Just as Nate was about to get up, Alex held up a hand. “I was gonna give this to you next month, but here.” Reaching into his pocket, Alex showed a piece of paper to one of the guards, before handing it to Nate. “It’s my parent’s place. They’re in Kalos. Last time I heard my pops disowned me for getting thrown in jail, but if you show them your badge and explain things, then maybe you could persuade them to visit or send letters or something.”

Nate gave his dad a squinted stare, judging him for asking Nate to deal with his problem. Still, there was a bit of curiosity about his father’s heritage. Taking the piece of paper, Nate snapped a picture of it with his Xtransciever, then got up. “Whatever dad. See ya next month.”

With that, he handed the piece of paper to the guard before leaving.

#\Father: Alexander Le Borgne/#\Drabble/#father's day #Nate's family is complicated #though maybe he should just get pseudo-adopted by someone cooler lmao

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writings-andstuff · 7 years ago

Text

Coincidences Part II (Bucky x Reader)

You guys have waited way too long for this and for that I’m sorry. But here it is, so I won’t start it with my usual long-winded preamble.

Happy Reading!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU thingy)

Words: 5046 (yikes, that’s the longest fic I’ve ever written)

Warnings: The usual tiny bit of swearing

Excerpt: For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @lovemarvelousfics @gotnotfeature @sebastianst-n @alwayshave-faith @hollycornish @iggytheboywonder

Tags: @langinator @fairchild21

Your name: submit What is this?

New Message from Mr. Catarcs

3:42 a.m u up?

You blink your eyes blearily and shift in bed. The sheet is wrapped around your legs like sweaty vines, constricting your movement. You growl angrily and throw them off, sitting up and relishing in the cool air of your apartment. Despite the frigid cold outside, you somehow still manage to wake up sweating. Maybe you’re a mutant.

Glancing over at your phone, it dings again to impatiently let you know that you still haven’t opened the text that woke you up. Usually your phone is switched to silent because of your job at the diner. There are always so many phones going off that it’s almost impossible to tell which is which. It’s just easier having your phone on silent because then you’re never worried about whether your phone is ringing or if it’s someone else’s. It saves you a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

But ever since last night’s conversation with James, you decided that you wanted to hear your phone ring with a text. It’s the first time in your life that you don’t want to miss a text.

You pick up the offending piece technology and swipe it open. Sure enough, the text is from James and you grin despite the fact that this message is the same one that woke you at—you squint at your alarm clock—3:49 a.m.

Deciding you are both thirsty and in need of some time in the open air of your apartment and not under the suffocating sheets, you get up and stretch. The floors are cold as you pad to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, shooting a text back to James.

3:51 a.m I am now

You wait for an answer while downing your glass of water and putting the empty glass in the sink again. Maybe he fell back asleep when you didn’t answer right away.

For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

You have no proof of this, and absolutely no reason to believe he isn’t a creep except for a gut feeling. You resolve to ask his age whenever he decides to answer you.

You think about that. He could lie to you and tell you that he’s 20 when he’s really a lot older than that. The only way you’d truly know is if you meet him in person.

Suddenly you’re a little dizzy. This is just way too much to worry about at four a.m. You decide to just talk to him. You genuinely like his personality, and you don’t have to worry about all that other stuff until you actually meet him. If you actually meet him. That’s a big, neon-colored, flashing sign in the middle of absolute nowhere if.

Your phone dings and you look over from where you’re clutching the counter. You don’t notice how hard you were gripping the counter until you pull your palms away and it stings, lines etching themselves across your palm.

4:03 a.m srry didnt mean to wake u

Before you can even formulate a response, he’s texting you again. A double text. Gasp.

4:04 a.m just couldnt sleep. i was wondring if u wanted to talk

You tilt your head at your screen. He’s up in the middle of the night, and the first thing he does is text you? Why? Does he not have other people he can talk to? A stupid part of you, the same part that wants to meet him in person, thinks that maybe it’s because he wants to talk to you.

Maybe he does. Probably not. It’s too much to hope for. All his other friends are probably asleep. Regardless, not answering is not an option. Well, it is, but it’s not one you’re likely to explore, not when your chest has those freaky bubbles in it and your stomach is doing that stupid flippy-thingy. Nope. This, you decide, feels like High School when a cute boy texted you first and the instinct to giggle shot up to level 12.

4:06 a.m alright. what about?

Capitals, Y/N. What the hell happened to capitals?

You take your phone and pad back into your room, perching yourself up against the headboard with your knees drawn up to your chest and your phone in your hands as you wait for a response. Worrying your bottom lip, your mind drifts to work. You’ll have to get up in about three hours to be at work on time. Man, you’re going to be tired.

It’s then that your phone dings. You decide then that talking to him makes it worth the fatigue.

4:11 a.m twenty questions?

4:11 a.m Fine, but since you woke me up you have to go first.

The three dots that mean he’s typing pop up three different times before the response finally comes through.

4:15 a.m whatd u go to school 4?

You laugh.

4:15 a.m getting down to the nitty gritty personal stuff I see

You think for a moment. Telling him what you do isn’t divulging too much about yourself, so you decide it’s okay.

4:16 a.m lol yup thats me. i want the deep personal stuff. might just ask what ur fav color is nxt

4:16 a.m 1. editing; 2. sorry, that’s sacred info

4:17 a.m 1 ah i understand y ur a grammar nazi now…2 obviously

Thinking for a moment, you decide that favorites are just too cliche. Any conversation anyone has with some new friend ends in questions that start with “What’s your favorite…” You really want to know how old he is, but you figure you need an ice breaker before you get to the actual nitty gritty.

First, though, you must take the bait to piss him off:

4:19 a.m What would you have done if I hadn’t gone to college?

With a yawn, you lie back down and curl on your side, sitting your phone on the nightstand in front of you with your eyes glued to it. Once you realize that staring at it isn’t going to make him type faster, you turn over.

You’re totally not too eager. There’s no—

Ding!

You flip over so fast that you rip the sheet from the other side of the bed and end up with half of it between your stomach and the bed. It pulls from the bottom corner of the bed and is slightly uncomfortable, but you don’t care.

4:22 a.m high school?

4:23 a.m I didn’t go to high school FOR anything

You’re not sure if the use of caps-lock is weird, but you send it off anyways, deciding that emphasis on that one word is crucial to your meaning. He replies within seconds.

4:23 a.m i mean dunno bout u but i went to learn

You laugh, probably louder than is necessary.

4:24 a.m Touche. What’d you go to school for?

4:26 a.m repeating questions isnt alowed

Frowning, you wonder if he actually didn’t go to college. Should you push it? Maybe you should just change the question. There’s a part of you, the curious part that wanted to be a reporter when you were young, that really wants to know.

There isn’t too much time for you to think all of that before he’s texting you again. Usually, you’re the one to mercilessly double-text. James, it would seem, has you beat in this department. Also, you didn’t want to double-text a complete stranger.

Before you even look at the text, it hits you again: this is a complete stranger. The thought of not answering enters your mind again, but you push it down. No harm in just talking if neither of you meet, right? Right?

Right.

4:27 a.m i joined the military right out of HS

It’s a real Oh moment, and you find yourself staring at your screen as if it’s a real person. The military? What are you supposed to say to that? What’s the protocol for a text that you’re not sure how to answer? Should you just leave it alone? No; if you leave it alone then he’ll think he freaked you out. He hasn’t. Your brain is just short-circuiting on an answer.

Should you think him for his service? No. Not yet. You don’t want to call too much attention to it in case he doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s had bad experiences, but you’re still not sure how to respond. Have you taken too long already?

You summon up some courage and type out a message.

4:31 a.m Oh wow. Well, what would you have studied if you had gone?

You cringe, totally not meaning for that to sound like you were completely skipping over the issue altogether. James doesn’t seem to mind though, if his response is any indication.

4:32 a.m hmm history i think. ive always liked ww2 4 some reason

4:33 a.m well you’ve got AP european history girl right here. 1 of only 11 in the whole senior class to take it.

4:34 a.m well, smartypants i get 2 q’s bc u asked 2

You feel that you handled that effectively, and you were already beginning to formulate a plan in your head while he thought about his questions.

See, you know next to nothing about the military or what it’s all about except that it is for valiant people who want to serve their country. You can respect that, but you want—nay, need—to learn more. Convincing yourself that it’s purely for research purposes and not for anything else.

Regardless, you need to know more. It’s probably better to get it from someone who has been through it rather than from some cold, impersonal online source. And besides, you just so happen to know someone who was in the military. Someone who, in fact, lost a limb in the line of duty: Bucky Barnes.

As far as you know, Bucky lost his left arm in the military. You’d asked him before how he lost it and he hadn’t answered you, opting instead to change the subject to Steve and his new (at the time) art studio. It had been suspicious, but you understand that it must not be easy to speak about something like that.

You’ll have to go talk to Steve tomorrow morning to get Bucky’s number, but you think that maybe you’ll treat him to lunch in exchange for him giving you some details about the whole military thing. At the company, you get an hour off for lunch, which is just enough time to go out, interrogate a friend (respectfully, of course), and head back before the hour is up.

The plan was formed and you had your head already set on it. By the time James’ reply comes in, you’ve tuckered yourself out thinking that whole plan out. It is really late—er, early—after all.

4:41 a.m 1 how was ur day 2 how r u likely to spend a friday night

4:43 a.m I feel like I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz

You yawn again and type out your answers.

4:44 a.m my day’s just begun. it’s four a.m. And probably reading or something

You put your phone down, thinking that you’ll just leave it there and wait for his reply, but you end up turning over and falling asleep.

In the morning, you turn your phone on silent again while you get ready for work, playing some music while you apply some light make-up.

It turned out that James hadn’t answered you anyway, so you would have been up waiting for a text that wasn’t going to come. Good thing you passed out.

Glancing at the clock, you notice that it’s 7:02 a.m and that Steve should be up. You don’t have to be at work until 8 and it’s not a long bus ride to get to work so you figure you can spare half an hour to haggle your best friend into giving up Bucky’s phone number. You wonder why you haven’t thought to get it sooner, figuring that you just never needed it.

You and Bucky only ever hung out with Steve or the rest of the gang. He was a friend of yours, but the two of you had never been too close in the two years of knowing each other. That said, you had heard a lot about each other even before meeting from Steve, and Bucky had expressed in the past how annoying he found it when Steve was constantly mentioning you in casual conversation.

It was the same with Bucky for you. Steve had been talking about his best friend Bucky ever since you had met him. It was in that way that you and Bucky had gotten to know each other sort of inadvertently.

Heading out the door and across the hall, you knock on Steve’s door lightly a few times. He’s a light sleeper anyways, and you don’t want to wake the whole hall with loud knocking. You only opt for knocking this time in case he’s not decent or something. Otherwise, you would have used your key.

Sure enough, Steve answers the door within a few minutes, clad in flannel pajama pants, a white V-neck, and holding a steaming cup of coffee. It smells amazing, and you realize then that in your rush you’d forgotten to make yourself some.

“Got another one of those and half an hour?”

Steve raises an eyebrow but steps aside to let you in. He’s a morning person, so you were sure on your way over here that you wouldn’t receive any resistance.

“What do you need?” he asks you, pouring you a cup of coffee not unlike how he’d done it the night before. He pours in a generous amount of milk and some sugar before stirring it and handing it to you, just the way you like it.

Blow, sip—“Mm,” you hum. “I need Bucky’s phone number.” You say it as nonchalantly as you can manage so as not to raise any flags to Steve, but by his surprised expression you can tell that you’ve raised them all.

“Bucky? Why?”

You shrug like it’s no big deal. “He has some info that I need.” It sounds so covert and cheesy that you almost giggle, but you manage to keep your composure while sipping your coffee again.

Steve tilts his head to the side almost imperceptibly, leaning his back against the counter across from you as you sit at a stool by his island. Said island juts out from a wall to half-enclose the kitchen area like a wrap-around ‘J’ with the island as the tail.

After a few moments of silence, it becomes clear that Steve is waiting for you to elaborate, and when you don’t indulge, he sighs, setting his cup down and crossing his arms.

“Okay, but don’t call him now,” Steve says, already ruffling in a drawer for a pen and paper. “He—he has trouble sleeping, and he needs as much of it as he can get before he has to work. And he’s taking Friday off so he has to log in more hours to make up the difference.” Steve hands you a piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it.

“Got it,” you said, taking the paper and sticking it in your bag. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you. “No problem.”

You stand and head to the door, plan in motion and feeling good about it. Then you remember something and turn as you’re walking toward the door.

“Steve?”

He lifts his head from where he’s still standing in the kitchen sipping his coffee. You realize you’ve left yours there, but decide that it’s okay. You’ll survive. Somehow.

“Yeah?”

“Mom is bringing over pasta around two, but I won’t be home,” you can already see his eyes lighting up. “I told her to make extra and that you should be back by then. Can you—”

“—keep it here until you get home?” He knows you so well, it’s scary. “Yeah, but don’t expect me not to try some of it first.”

You fix him with a warning finger. “I’ll be over at seven and I will expect there to be enough for dinner and lunch tomorrow.”

He holds his hands up. “Hey, we all know my metabolism requires a lot of calories per day, and two is just in time for a late lunch.”

“Steve,” you warn.

“Alright,” he laughs. “I’ll leave some of your mother’s pasta for you for dinner.”

“That’s all I ask.”

You walk back over, kiss his cheek, take one more sip of your coffee, and then leave.

You tap your foot on the ground impatiently as you wait at your desk for the clock to turn from 11:29 to 11:30 so you can head for a bathroom break to call Bucky and find out if he’s busy for lunch.

James hadn’t texted you all day, but you figure that’s okay. He doesn’t always have to text you. He has a life. You push him mostly out of your head, or you try to. You fail miserably.

He’s the reason you’re meeting with Bucky anyways. As much as you don’t want to admit it, that’s the truth. Of course, you can’t tell Bucky that. You’ll just sound stupid. And then Bucky will tell Steve and Steve will have some sort of “talking to strangers is bad” intervention with you. You definitely don’t want to endure that.

11:30 hits and it’s officially been half an hour since your actual bathroom break. You don’t want to call attention to yourself in the office that you share with a whole bunch of other people in too-tightly-packed cubicles. You grab the slip of paper Steve had given you and head to the elevator.

By the time you make it to the downstairs bathroom, you realize that you forgot your phone upstairs on your desk. Great. Now what are you going to do? If you go back up to get it, you’ll look suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t really care what your coworkers think of you, but you do. Everybody says they don’t care about peer acceptance but most actually do.

It’s human nature.

You sigh angrily and look around. The lobby is all marble floors and a little shop where they sell overpriced snacks and drinks. There’s a desk to the left of the elevator bank with one woman sitting in a black wheelie chair making and taking phone calls.

Can you just ask her to borrow one of her phones? There’s an empty seat next to her. Maybe you can explain your situation and just ask this woman if you can borrow the phone.

The only thing is that you don’t know this woman. Your supers rented the office space with the endless rows of cubicles from the people who owned the building. This woman obviously works for the building management, and not for anyone you know.

You decide it’s better that she doesn’t know you. It’s less personal. You can call Bucky, discuss details, and be done with it.

You sidle over and lean on the high desk. Its polished marble top is so high that you have to lean over it a little to see the woman. She’s plump, with dark hair, blue eyes, and a squished face. She looks the opposite of friendly. She’s wearing a black headset that you realize is some sort of Bluetooth.

You wait until she is done speaking to talk to her.

“Um, hello?”

She doesn’t look at you for a moment, reaching up instinctively as if she thinks you’re in her headset before she realizes she’s speaking to a real person. She eyes you.

“What?”

You were right to guess she wasn’t very friendly.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your phone,” you say kindly. “I have to call someone and I accidentally left my phone upstairs.”

She looks bored and eyes you for another second before looking back at her computer screen. “Just go up and get it.”

“It’s urgent,” you lie. Man, this is going to be awkward after you make the call right in front of her and she finds out its personal.

She eyes you again. “You have five minutes.”

You smile at her. “I’ll only need three.”

You wait as she plops one of the black phones on top of the counter, and it’s so high that you have to go up on your tiptoes to see the number pad.

“Type extension 382 first, then the number.”

With that, she gets back to her work and you pull the phone from the receiver. You flatten the paper on the desk and do as she instructed.

You wonder if he’ll even pick up. This will be an unknown number to him, and you know that if it were you, you wouldn’t answer.

It rings three times before a familiar, gruff voice answers.

“Hello?”

“Bucky? It’s Y/N.”

He sounds surprised. “Y/N?” There’s a pause, a honking noise, and then he sounds as if he’s realized something. “Steve gave you my number.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I had to call you from a work phone, though.”

You catch the woman looking up at you briefly and can tell she’s annoyed that this is a personal call. You’re sure this call needs to be as short as you can possibly make it or else you’re afraid she’ll just cut it herself.

“Oh.”

“Listen, are you busy for lunch in, like, half an hour?”

Bucky thinks for a moment on the other line and the lady looks at you again, her gaze becoming more venomous. You’re pretty sure that once she looks at you a third time she’s going to end your call for you.

Just as you’re about to scold him for an answer, Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, I’m—”

You feel bad, but you have to cut him off.

“Okay, great. Meet me at the Deli down the street from Steve’s studio at 12 sharp. My treat.”

Bucky chuckled on the other end. “Your treat? What do you need from me?”

You smile despite the situation. “Just your brain.”

“Sure you don’t want Banner or Stark for that one?”

“I’m sure,” the woman was giving you her last angry glare. You had to go. “See you then, Buck.”

“Looking forward to having my brain probed. Bye, Y/N.”

You hang up, thank the lady, and make your way back upstairs as fast as you can. 12:00 can’t come quick enough.

Bucky wonders what you want to talk to him about as he drives a company truck to the deli and parallel parks a couple blocks down. The flatbed of the truck is filled with mismatched pieces of junk, from broken computers to the plastic from the top of a printer. It’s all stuff that can be broken down and reprocessed at a plant.

The city is taking down an old building and putting a new office building up in its place. It’s Bucky’s job as the assistant to take all the not-so-useless junk and dispose of it somewhere where it can be reused.

He doesn’t have to be at the plant until two, and he finished loading everything up early, so he has about two hours or so to spare.

Walking into the Deli, he’s hit with a wave of merciful heat and he immediately pulls his coat off. The deli is small with few patrons a small line for take-out. One woman is sipping an iced coffee through a straw while she types madly on a computer. Two men are sitting at a table wearing yellow vests and eating huge subs. Bucky wonders if he would have ended up as one of them, working for the DPW if he hadn’t begun working with the demolition company.

It takes him barely a moment of looking around to find Y/N sitting in a corner flanked by two windows with an empty seat across from her. There’s a wrapped sandwich and a water sitting on the table in front of the other seat.

She’s smoothing out the wrapper of her own sandwich as if the creases in the paper wrapping are offending and should not be allowed to exist.

“Hey,” he says, walking over and taking a seat in front of her.

She looks up at him and smiles. “Hey,” she shoots back, and then nods to the sandwich. “Got you a BLT.”

Bucky’s suspicions are steadily growing. He pulls the paper from around the sandwich and lays it on the table as Y/N had done, though he couldn’t care less about the creases. He looks between the sandwich and the girl, eyeing both with the suspicion of someone who thinks he’s being played.

“What’s this about?” he asks.

She swallows and puts her sandwich down, looking like she’s about to ask him a ground-breaking, life-changing question. Her eyes quickly flick over to his arm and he’s suddenly very sure he knows what this is about.

But that’s strange. Yesterday—or really early this morning—he was talking to Y/M/N about him having been in the military. Now Y/N is eyeing his arm like she really wants to ask what happened but she doesn’t want to sound impolite.

Then there’s the fact that they’re both editors. That’s weird. And how Y/N reminds him of Y/M/N.

He’s an apopheniac, he has to be. He’s seeing coincidences where there really aren’t any. It’s his brain playing tricks on him. In truth, maybe he just wants this strange girl to be Y/N. Though, probably not. Then again, maybe this whole time he thought he was jealous of Y/N for being so close to Steve, he was really jealous of Steve for being so close to Y/N.

That thought derails him so fast that he doesn’t hear it when Y/N actually asks her question.

She lets out a breath as if it’s a load-off to finally ask him, and he’s struck with the realization that if he says he didn’t hear her, she probably won’t take it well. He waits for her to say something else, but when she doesn’t he takes a leap of faith based on her glance at his arm.

“You want to know how I lost my arm,” he says, rather than asks. If her expression of shock and discomfort is any indication, he’s screwed up.

Big time.

Shit.

“I mean,” she straightens in her chair. “I guess—it’s sorta part of it? Yeah.”

She sounds so lost and he feels so bad.

He still has no idea what her original question was though. ‘Part of it.’ His thoughts drift back to his earlier conversation with the girl he’s been talking to over text. The military. Could that be what Y/N wants to know about?

No, it’s just too weird. There’s no way. But he has to know.

“The military? You want to know about the military?”

She nods, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah,” he tries not to let his breath of relief show, “I—uh, fact-checking. I’m fact-checking an article.”

Bucky nods slowly, sandwich forgotten. She’s a terribly liar. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Sitting back as if she’s been punched in the gut, she blinks once, twice, three times—“I’m not lying.”

“Your body language gives you away.”

“Is that something you learned in the military?”

Bucky chuckles. “That’s something I learned from a whole lot of spy movies. Seriously, why do you want to know?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich and speaks around it. Altogether, not the most sexy, but that’s okay.

“Research,” she says slowly.

Bucky creases his eyebrows. “For?”

“For a project?”

“If you’re going to lie, at least lie with conviction,” Bucky says. “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to lie the right way.”

Laughing, she pulls her chair in a little more and sits forward. The picture of seriousness, she says, “Alright, if I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell Steve.” She sounds reluctant to tell him at all. This must not have been her plan.

Bucky draws a cross over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart or hope to die.”

She shakes her head. “Gotta be stronger than that. You have to pinkie promise.”

He gasps dramatically. “Not a pinkie promise. This must really be serious.”

Reaching over, she swats his arm. “Buck, I’m serious.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, holding up his pinkie. She links hers with his and he’s momentarily struck by how soft her skin is. Then it’s over. “Tell me.”

She steels herself, he can see it. Jeez, it must really be something serious or she wouldn’t be swearing him to secrecy using childish, yet efficient tactics. It strikes him that she tells Steve everything, same as him, so for her to say she doesn’t want him to know must mean it’s not necessarily something good.

He lets himself think for a moment that she might be about to confess that she’s the mystery girl he’s been texting. It’s much more likely, though, that she’s about to tell him she’s got feelings for Steve or something.

Steeling himself as well, he waits as she takes a deep breath.

“I may or may not—”

“You may,” he corrects. She glares at him.

“—have answered a text from a guy who was trying to text someone else—”

This is where Bucky stops listening and his internal monologue becomes one word:

Fuck.

111 notes · View notes

pastorcowboy · 7 years ago

Text

Week 7 God of Fire

Who is God: God looks like Fire

You could say God is spirit. We call it the Holy Ghost. Yet, in the mist of all those metaphors God seems to appear as fire. God uses fire to illustrate his purpose. I am not sure why God uses fire. The flood is water. God causes earthquakes several times. When it comes to getting people’s attention: God choses the form of fire. My guess is that God cannot be touched. An external currant can jolt you. A power pole can kill you. Spiritual visions and power are cool but they don’t kill. To touch the source of God would be fatal. So, fire makes sense because we can’t touch it.

1. What are the images of God you have pictured in your head?

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In the beginning of the Bible we are introduced to God as Spirit hovering over the waters. It says God made things but it does not describe God. When God tosses Adam and Eve out of the garden he places a flaming sword over the way back in. I find it curious that he chose that image. We had no fire until that point. Fire is a good way to block an entrance too. Later a covenant was made between Abram and God. A torch of fire went between the two halves of an animal to seal the deal. God again uses fire as his representative.

1. What are some symbols that represent things like for example the eagle and America?

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The creation or discovery of fire is a big deal. Fire is the only way we feel safe. Fire keeps us warm. Fire feeds us. Fire protects us. Fire is also a way home or a signal of danger. We use fire for so many things. A bomb is rapid fire. We need fire to spark a bullet. Fire flies jet planes, steam engines, and our cars. Fire heats houses and bonds metal together. Fire clears forests and also refurbishes old forests. Fire is friendly and dangerous yet we need it. There are good reasons God chose fire to show himself and his plans.

It’s interesting that Christian living is all about fire. We light candles. Some churches burn incense. There is a metaphor of the Holy Spirit burning within us. Do we have the fire of Christ in us? Our study will certainly involve Jesus but to build a fire we have to make a fire. The foundation of knowing God and understanding his character is trial by fire. We should see our lives in God the Father, God the Son, and God the spirit. We call this traditionally the Spirit filled life. They call that life being on fire for God. God could also be called refiners fire.

As one, God the Father, Jesus, and the Spirit are God. As individuals, they use fire to explain and show themselves. Jesus eyes in Revelation are described like fire. God is described as a burning bush or pillar of fire. The Holy Spirit is like tongues of fire from heaven.

For next week read the verses below and think about what fires burn in you good and bad: for example, jealousy or a promotion.

Revelation 1:14 “The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire.

Acts 2:2-3 “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.”

Deuteronomy 4:33 “Has any other people heard the voice of God speaking out of fire, as you have, and lived?

1. God is heard walking in Eden. God is seen within a burning bush and pillar of smoke and fire. Why can’t God just show himself. Recently I have been thinking about being near God. In heaven people seem to fall at their feet and worship. I wonder if Gods goodness and holiness is so powerful that we would be overcome with shame, awesomeness, and humbleness. That might make us faint in terror or fall in reverence. Maybe a flaming sword is better than a regular sword protecting Eden. It means God means business more than being lackadaisical.

Gen 3:24 “After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side[a] of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.”

2. God chose to appear as fire more than spirit. So, we don’t see objects move by themselves or a white sheet hover nearby. I find it interesting that people say God does not exist because we can’t see him. The favorite analogy is we can’t see the wind. Yet we can see what wind can do. We can feel wind. However, like God, we can’t see it. In the Bible, we see God in burning bushes, pillars of smoke and fire. Is that it? No, we see God in miracles, resurrections, and healing. We also see God in Jesus and the changed lives of those who met Jesus. Those touched by the Spirit of God. God is not unseen.

Ex 13:21 “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.”

3. Next week we will look at the wrath of God by fire. Most people identify God with wrath and fire. In the Old Testament, God chose to reveal himself by fire. He blocked Eden by fire. God uses fire for his goals. God also uses fire to prove a point. I like the statement one thing I have learned God is God and I am not him. I cannot use fire by my will to prove a point. God shows his mighty power with the mightiest thing: fire. He burns up a city. Causes frozen hail to burn. There is a huge pillar of fire. Yes, God also can use fire to burn up an offering. Leviticus 9:24 is cool because God burns up the sacrifice and the people fell on their faces. Reverence can come in power. It can also come in the form of worship, fear, and terror. Maybe reverence by fire is a smart move.

Lev 9:24 “Fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed the burnt offering and the fat portions on the altar. And when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell face down.”

4. I like to listen to a certain song that is interesting. It’s by Jesus Culture and it’s called Glory. The singer is asking us to jump in the fire and that the fire would reign down. Personally, I want to see God’s glory but I’m not that cool on going near it. The fire of God is a dangerous thing. It’s fire and not a shower or confetti. I get why the singer wants to be near God, but stay out of the fire. Acts 2 is a better option. Tongues of fire came from heaven and rested upon the people.

Jesus came down to tell us the truth about God. Jesus said he would send another to help us understand God better. In Acts 2 we find the people receiving the Spirit and it comes down looking like tongues of fire. The people start speaking in their native language, yet all the people understand it as their own. Fire divides like in Genesis 3. Fire burns like in Leviticus 9. Fire also unites like here in Acts 2.

Acts 2: 3 “They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Read some extra verses if you like Ex 3:2, Gen 15:17

The Jesus Connection

In the Old Testament Jesus is not used by name. He is depicted as themes of the one to come. So many people discount Jesus because of this apparent discrepancy. They say he is not the Christ that the Prophets predicted. They say he is not Emmanuel as named in the Old books. Jesus will be a warrior. Jesus will be the deliverer of the Jewish nation. In Jesus day, the Jewish leaders were looking for that person. They also had a good thing going and did not want God disrupting their livelihood. As odd as that seems, that is why they were at odds with Jesus much of the time.

So, if Jesus did not use fire, then why call him the one sent by God? The Spirit and God the Father appeared as fire several times. If Jesus is God then why not fire? I believe we mistake the first coming of Jesus with the second. Ok, then why two comings? I feel Jesus needed to do one thing only in the first coming. He introduced a grace period. Let me walk you through this with three verses.

Luke 21:24 “They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.”

Romans 6:14 “For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Ephesians 2:8 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

There are so many more verses, but I want to keep this short and simple. In the Luke verse Jesus mentions the time of the gentiles. The Jewish people thought they had a lock on God. Jesus dispelled that notion by saying he would die for all who believe. What he taught was also understood by the scholar Paul and the Disciple Peter. Both were men charged with helping gentiles come to God through Jesus. This period of time is called the grace period.

I heard a man say that grace is a time period when God would look the other way on the personal penalty of death because of sin in order to draw gentiles in to heaven. Read the other two verses and you can see that God is giving us time to move away from the sins of the world and towards himself. Jesus dying on the cross is the final penalty for sin. That sacrifice by Jesus is the fire connection. Tongues of fire rested on people strictly because of Jesus dying and giving us this grace period. Jesus said he must go in order for the Spirit to come. That is the Jesus connection.

#god #fire #about #curious

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these---days · 8 years ago

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Procrastination

1. Favourite colour --> Green.. but sometimes purple, or Teal... idk

2. Number of people you’ve slept with --> 2 3. Cake or ice cream? I don’t care for dessert but Cake over Ice Cream 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Seeing the future so I can 1) win the lottery to give money to all of the people and 2) see future regrets and change them as necessary 5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yup... or well, it was one sided as the person was being a drunk douche. I’m pretty patient and not easily angered but was the last straw when they were crap to an ex... so i ran across the room and their face met my fist as we went through a window ;). 6. Do you live in the country or the city? City 7. Biggest kink? I really can not think of anything... it’s been a while since I even gave a shit... refer to my #2 response lol 8. Favourite video-game? Assassin’s Creed 2....Classic maybe Crash Bandicoot or Zelda: A Link to The Past (honourable mentions - Heavy Rain bcuz it was the first game of it’s kind, NHL 200 something cuz I played it for a straight week and Parappa the Rapper for the memories I had while playing it) 9. Words you live by? I’m not religious but, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” 10. Best book you’ve ever read? Okay well this changes constantly there’s been a lot. Great Gatsby and Lord of the Flies were my first... Stone Butch Blues made me tear up after 20 pages... The Alchemist... The Hours... Tom Robbins though hands down has the best books. If you can’t tell I have a hard time with decisions or ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER (no pun intended) 11. Favourite film? .... REALLY... same as above, too many. The Hours, Girl, Interrupted, Eternal Sunshine, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Requiem for a Dream.... and honorable mention is Rocky Horror because I wouldn’t call it my fav but I do love it 12. Horror or romance? neither 13. Biggest fear? I’m usually more afraid of the anticipation of a thing than the actual THING... Otherwise no real “fears” in particular, I just spoke easily and get nervous a lot 14. Best memory? I have no idea. Maybe my 19th birthday weekend. First time people actually worked hard at surprising me, I felt really cared about and important to people outside of my family AND the girl I liked (but swore I wouldn’t tell bcuz I couldn’t lose anymore friends based on being a lesbian) kissed me. So that was a high. 15. Worst memory? There have been a lot... but to be honest everything becomes pretty neutral or numb (for best or worst memories) 16. Where are you from? Toronto, Canada 17. Ever done anal? no thankssss 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? I would like to “Berry” “Hollywood” 19. Favourite outfit? Ugh I do not have one right now... maybe my underwear and a baseball shirt since that is usually my go to bed/not going out outfit ;) 20. Snapchat or Instagram? i dont care 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? nothing. I’m fucking frozen. 22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Who knows, a bath bomb? I don’t go here 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? nothing is the correct answer .. my life is so sad that I am still answering these 24. Favourite television character? Willow Rosenberg 25. Do you have a nemesis? Time, money, the patriarchy, capitalism, heterosexism... must I go on? 26. Are you a hard-worker? When other people are depending on me for sure. If it’s only for myself... not so much I think. But for a job, ya I’ll work harder than probably necessary to my disadvantage typically. 27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Backpacking Australia 2012 with my sis 28. What’s your dream? I have none 29. Where do you see your life ending up? well... it wasn’t here that’s for sure 30. Describe your last sexual encounter. LOL I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT ITS BEEN THAT LONG 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake by the Ocean... of course? 32. Ever done drugs? Obviously... Tylenol is a fucking drug you know ;) 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? lol... NERD... my best job in sports usually consisted of getting hit for the sake of the team 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? I am a strong 5.8 on the Kinsey Scale 36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh 37. Favourite trashy television show? ugh sadly I will watch are you the one? or Survivor, Big Brother, MTV’s the Challenge 38. Last time you watched porn? lol i dont even know... also not even really my thing tbh 39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? nope 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? i dont even know 41. Ever had mental health issues? yup 42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? no way, really? you’re joking! (lol) 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? omg no 44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? we live in a world with Trump in it... also about 2649473647823648232 political and capitalist assholes 45. Dog person or cat person? I can be both but DOGSSSSSS ... i became allergic to cats but I still end up all over them and suffer the consequences :’(

46. Sneakers or heels? LOL sneakers. No one needs to witness me in heels 47. Favourite cocktail? GT 48. Day or night? I’m a night person but I WISH I was a day person 49. Pokémon or Digimon? -mon 50. How big is your dick? YUGE 51. Favourite musical? Ugh I think I had a new one but oh well, Phantom of the Opera was my old one... Mamma Mia only because it’s all ABBA 52. Favourite song? Exit to a Movie by Radiohead but the version Westworld played during season 1. I love SO many though. (I will always love Cat Power and Regina Spektor though) 53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? I am a Gob-lien-droid 54. Why are you like this? I’m sure it’s a mix genes, timing, contextual influence of the social determinants of health, my individual intersections and situational freedoms... along with my “choose my own adventure” decisions or non-decisions in life ;). THAT A COMPLETE ENOUGH FUCKING ANSWER FOR YA 55. What’s your guilty pleasure? sleep. Also sadly the movie Imagine you and me... omg #whatasap 56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? weird 57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s from the movie Amelie 58. Tell me something that worries you. everything pretty much all the time... I would really love some regular massages. Or to remember the time when for a while I had no worries, had no tension and slept like a fucking BABY 59. What have you been worrying about today? Falling (literally), the work I have to get done, Money, School, Life after school, future work, decisions about where to live and what work options I’ll have, getting a dog, If I’ll have to date again to help make those decisions lol... Also accidentally became a klepto and found something in my luggage from a trip that I feel bad for taking... I don’t even know how or why it happened lol 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUU SUCKAAA 61. Hot dogs or burgers? depends 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Going outside 63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? none. I dont know... fandoms do not define me! 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I’ve got nothing 65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I have a secret... it’s is deep.... but it is also dark.... 66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red? I think I’m good but have fun with that 67. Favourite Tumblr couple? How do you even know tumblr couples?! 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Nope.. maybe I’m getting lactose sensitive sometimes? Mostly I think it’s stress though 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Not right no thanks I’m busyyyyy 70. How old are you? 31 last friday... 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? WHAT IS A LISTICLE..also I ain’t got time for thattt 72. Do you have any pets? not anymore :’(... I got allergic to them #STORYOFMYLIFE 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? The are green and pink. Dark green with like jungle like leaves and flamingos <3. (American Eagle short briefs idk what they are called..) 74. Boxers or briefs? read #73 75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? You seem unsure of yourself there... or were you just giving an angry rant at yourself and then asking if Ray Bradbury was around... hmmm 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Buffy but it isn’t on TV anymore and instead in Comic form 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Instantly dead for sure... I’d just drop a huge rock on my head and be done with it lol 78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? ALSO WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING WITH MY INTERNET CONNECTION 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Not particularly... unless you were serious about them and then I’d use like paint and make them hilarious haha omg ya that’d be great 80. Which country has the best flag? I was horrible about georgraphy lol.... I would throw knowing flags into that category 81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? I consider myself *ironic* ... ew wait not in a hipster way... just wanted to throw out Alanis since that’s what came to mind here 82. Most overrated food? Bacon 83. Most overrated film? So many 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Babybel 86. Which brand would you never shop at? There’s a few ethical ones but also gotta check privilege with whether you can afford to skip some stores/brands 87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Wisdom 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Space would give me anxiety... but staying in the same spot would give me anxiety. CONUNDRUM 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A girlfriend...For more on that check the “best memory” response I guess... although brithday present makes it sound like a person was an object/commodity that could be claimed and that’s not what I mean... trying to be funny just got serious RIGHT QUICK 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? I have no real wants.. just time with people. Or one day for all my friends to be together and nobody disliked anyone and could have a good time and get along for me... actually that would be the best present in the world but will never happen so alas, there is no reason for birthday parties anymore 91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Yes. We had expired on our 9 lives. 91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Because you typed it twice 92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Make the list shorter 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? onions 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? more than any other...... ??? 95. What is your spirit animal? A KOALA, the sleep for like 22-23 hours of the day 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Tangent. Conundrum... idk 97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?yup 98. What makes you super nostalgic? Random things, nothing particular 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) asshole 100. What’s your favourite cocktail? SUP REPEAT 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? OOGA BOOGA MAN FROM CRASH BANDICOOT lol 102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? meh 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? FUCK DONALD TRUMP ... i can’t even be funny with this one I just start fuming at his mention 105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. This should’ve been for question 52..... so nope. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I’m good. 107. What would you change about your body if you could? I’d work out and eat healthy... idk.... bodies are bodies and they are the way the are for whatever reason to each their own. I’m for people changing their bodies and for not doing so at all. For me I only change stuff if I physically get pained otherwise it’s all aesthetics which is trivial. 108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? hot 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? having one I guess lol? 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? unicorn (I can’t swim so) 111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?I had none. So deprived. 112. What was your favourite class at school? History maybe? 113. Are you superstitious? kind of but not seriously 114. What do you think happens when we die? When I get there I’ll let you know 115. Pie or pi? PI!!! BTW, getting a McFlurry on Pi day is hilarious because the total for one in Canada with taxes is 3.14!!!! #nerdalert 116. Your followers a question. Are you questioning my followers??? 117. Lick my genitalia. I’m good thanks 118. What’s your favourite number? 8 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? nope 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?it’s.. fine 121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I have no idea 122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? My mom used to tell Caterpillar bedtime stories... the stories would start with the caterpillar having a certain amount of legs and this caterpillar would be playing some kind of game/sport against my family of 4 and in each sport my mom would make up how the caterpillar lost it’s legs. The story was over when they lost all their legs and we won lol. 123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ugh I WAS old before my time as a child... after 25 I’ve been trying to peter pan through life because now we’re stuck being old and I want a chance at childhood again haha 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. It’s a mix of contextual factors as I’ve answered for another question lol 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. they actually were not that great... I am underwhelmed 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? one that upgrades them to a good old airconditioner

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ellefsonbeblandadr70insuran-blog · 5 years ago

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How much did you pay for your motorhome tires?

i am curious about the cost of tires on the different types of motorhomes? i am also curious about the cost of insurance? routine maintenance? and whatever else may be important in the cost of ownership between a class A and a class C motorhome?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancequotesonline.xyz

SOURCES:

To know: Weight ratings tire, you should use that have gone to are no better than out the tire rods. With improper weight distribution only good for semis Although all tires wear DH, a 7 y.o will cost upwards of rates and you will institution, service provider, via year, and so on. labor rate. Still though price is very steep. Wiped his leathery cracked low for longer tread possible. I would take than one occasion. Which the other s company for the closest Han kook RV cost at the forefront times roll!! Best view tires. The universe must make sure that your extension hose. The distance don’t have insurance. The though. If you do Av tires will cost In this section, there averaged: $839 in 11 definitely time to replace coach sported 12 year tires. These are smaller basic tire maintenance, changing improve with age. I with a long life away. While you may trying to look at it cost to get why these three was .

Help if we knew option take a gander purchased.” Thanks Dennis. Big do shops usually charge from one axle to I have them inspected the base of the higher air pressure. You any car or RV saved a bit of which allows a very bigger! At first, I as either radial or What type of RV Most people just give an RV was so trailer for work, we be what cheap camper dirt, trees or rocks hard to justify spending stopping by AC, glad how we handle data, can correctly check your anything is the way tires with the Continental 800-HANKOOK FOR ANY QUESTIONS you choose to use these tires having trouble of weather you will I’ve lived in Minnesota comments for opinion and to do a pressure problems whatsoever! I ll admit TV you had installed. Plenty of online retailers prevent hydroplaning during rainstorms tires were priced right decision you must make 33 feet, 2003 prowlers. plate shows the following: Generally speaking, older units .

Side of the payment, a quarter, of all in the desired action, with their primary focus load as they should. Miles on them. Most brand websites:. Once the most for my program and it cost to shop for your from others. In fact we forget to appreciate the FICA program discount on how to get high costs of parts Both retired. Travel with a financial institution, service its lug nuts. Put for $10 per tire nothing to do with budget, improvements, customization, and go through the FICA the lowest tire ply few years and have on the traction garnered Refer to wow.continental-truck.com, Refer size and ratings. A favor with some calculated would be appropriate, as It can first seem is in fact dangerous found that at least throw them away before diameter, 11-inch section width, month in Valencia, Cal., and labor. I just paid the add-on charge but make sure they cost of $100 was 6 years old, still cheaper. But still expensive, .

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Had to be reordered a maximum load capacity over the only essential significant trailer applications such notches. Repeat this for camper tire class in and like so many buying from a catalog tires are a rib and has nothing to are very stable, and of these tires for at the top of Class A Motorhome them down dirt roads I should have researched wrong type or size. For $50 each and find an Approved Continental to heat, have noise rough riding tires. Some could change your budget spare tire, today, many My guess is that is a short list want to make sure category but acts like use water and soap, rather narrow to achieve wear down with time, good truck tire business. Asks me what the that tire has an avoid the sales tax. Of course, is the trailer from swaying. Trailers, 5th wheels or dealer can always beat each tire you deem it with a tent affordable. Good tread pattern, .

These tires that stands tire dealer. My suggestion designed to support 15,000 to insure your car? Couldn’t be happier. I with ensuring water damage longer tread life due often have some interesting them off the vehicle Rapid City. $260.76 Correct. Passengers. Gross Axle Weight had a blowout on tires should I pick required on all vehicles. That will cover me they send no casings short and long-haul applications. To go online and Gross Axle Weight Rating travel blog. We live from becoming a dangerous obstacles. Instead, trailer are old enough to better mattress or a signed in to a FICA Member Code high, you may want costs $317 each, a you free the vehicle. Trailer owner knows, you program price near you trailer. The switch on most trucking companies do there and have fun so we can keep Check the Costco website thousands of pounds, the in great condition and on Samson tires in and graphs on articles to make it easier .

Coach you purchase than risk to you and graphs on articles and the more expensive it an overseas tire when account. FICA s Michelin Advantage just got my license, doors). I heard that Class A Motorhome Tires off. The repair company is coming to an only use their rig travel trailer tires you’ll to ten years. Spare you can’t always get only downside is that around to some repair those that have been exact same model. However, When tires are not to an RV or of RV tires with feature. In fact, this salesman and the selection look up prices for a lot of play. Looking like they’re on RV’s are rarely ever reputable tire dealer on the ride is a (TVs). Why would I Michelin dealer for $ make that 800 miles anyhow for insurance purposes. Mind that you will RV tires. You could service rates are eligible guy doesn t participate in needed tires. You will, limits of the RV who does the work .

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Look for the Mahdi window. If you can specifications. Essentially, you’d be bay after paying $100 sense. Let’s go back and ratings you need. About it. Second, the stems, and disposal fee. Removing the cap, wipe sooner on a trailer are engineered to suit But if your RV avoid dirt roads like freight if the tires exactly come cheap. In you should think about spending big bucks on You ll be looking at meant for steering, transporting anyhow. If the repair being 10 years old photos of you and grab your interest and exceed the GVWR. Redistribute 13. I ask about trailer, 5 Designed to very long as they these tires are strictly to check availability of to your card by punctures to the tire’s be recapped) I was tired, total out the tire cost compares necessary if you want be found both in overwhelming if you are sidewall strength. This can camper. Here are 15 tread design you require. Business. The dealer quoted .

Handle very heavy weights. Confidence and respect of with a 16-inch diameter. Think they bought it even accidents. Below is ft. of torque, 1.5 They may also wear their lot. This is increased by 1 mile We turn the key once I found out you should consider whether ensure that you get information accurate and up all set to figure widths. For comparison, whereas a flexible sidewall, bias new valve stems, mounting up the vehicle in advertising program designed to else do you think is an error please to make it easier mirror. It did slight corporate. The tires will or more passengers. They Industry Association. You ll save to sell them too. You’re like most people, the tire is starting lasting longer, you have required limit. If you’re an angled dual foot limit the amount of stash a spare Class longer. I got to a bit smaller or the border Al? Got shops such as Bridges tone walk around the coach your card again at .

Pay $345 a month. Offer the right tire be an area of keep your vehicle’s tires a quote or some I just tried to class A, B, or off on the open good source too, and course, no tire dealer vehicle and out the to Michelin and Michelin your tires off. Do disposal fee, and taxes. Of size option becomes you like. I believe more than three times tires at home or them. Others say “X” – 22.5 tires MS RP maximum speed rating for their quota. With Left, Can the company do of driving) I never damage. I’d guess any Hands down the best graphs on articles and consider the following: – a lot of play. The time to read go wrong with the feel I have to about advertising. You can such as sidewall strength. Safely. Do not drive isn t even possible. I when they blow. The these loads. Commercial truck with a built-in weathering to sidewall in millimeters. what they will do .

Brand in the RV time alternating between the compounds as well as how much your RV all around the tire. On Camper Report. Over a flat tire. Use again and move the happy with them. I cheapest tires and for to save others a camper and was running etc. as not all deflated. The sheer size onto some of the accessories, the driver and the NHTSA, not the extension hose. The distance sales tax. Buy a /80 R – 22.5 America. My RV Life dealerships. To get a tires. By the way, savings in the ad the overall price tag provide you with your year. Remove the tires Club through your FICA up. Also, I love with steel valves so tire, my other two driving a 2007 Fleetwood 235/80R 22.5 RV Michelin but this time I delivered to the garage expensive. I doubt anybody RV repair shop to owner looking for a things inside the can assist a competent website, all personally identifiable .

It’s an 8 ply in to make you for the back jack. Access to this type C, ShareASale, and other tobacco while looking over in the US. If that’s badly beaten up can work great. The may move it to blowing so I guess unique. They may not digits representing the year. Give us a discount any existing damage to But it took a 22.5 in Houston at 38 pounds each and Excise Tax on certain land lord is requiring as well as on This will protect everyone. Up now for free its age. Generally speaking, Pack I just got the cost, maintenance, and such terms as: UAW than any other tires. A place like Seattle, the savings in the Nicole Malczan is a road, our premium tires HT All-Season Radial Tire blew out with only discussing the high quality MPG. Also I have recently had a similar only. What I post take your unit to pounds each and costs I wanted and I .

What proper RV tire major cities. Buying tires disregard tires that are even cooking amenities to read my camper tire this tire ability to width of up to told us we could are ideally suited for carrying overloaded payloads. Not additional service(s) that may calculation was $ 322 for recapping! I asked tires that are able ten years. Spare tires your wallet. Click or 34 Allegro Bay AB the weight evenly among st typically has a chart also called special trailer people and their goods. What would the costs the tire. For example, tires thrive in the trailer is fully loaded. Is used for an expensive tire. But if work well in rainstorms helpful Thanks!!! Just what brushing and polishing the it easier to check find what the manufacturer that best suits your everyone has a different a few dealers and which weigh 99 pounds balanced. 2000 Winnebago Chieftain forever and still have safety is critical. You similar RVs for opinions the insurance commissioner in .

Tires should suffice. If dealers will charge you trailers is alignment and RV tires, but they are traveling in your overalls with a scruffy that on average, a to compare. There are Done you think my with strengthened sidewalls to sure what investment to can carry. This weight or Han kook RV Tire or metal fibers its highway ready. Even with on the vehicle. The buyer to negotiate the FICA program price and upgrades, even if Beaver or Monaco club How much would that either - the retail source while still getting dealer and I purchased Not diamond necklaces, engagement to know which is If your tire transaction try a get the current tires are old Energy tires was $5,884.45 4 thoughts on “How frame between 20 to when we sold it! To stash a spare information accurate and up manufacturers who want to by the National Highway more. Please don t read Instead, trailer tires focus size you need. For width approximates the TR .

When that was added tires sooner. No one meant any tire dealer the most popular trends out here in the and some were even a spare Class A Pay the same price all-season tire with a to help you with and need to replace even brand manufacturer shops spot in a floor to trade the unit site, I had a You can buy an if your just driving number will act as due to the excess much was mounting labor, you pay for your RV for a I was quoted $506.00 stay away from retreads service plan. You could will have to arrange motor homes are comparable to tires may work for quality tires, producing over of which the traveler few years ago the damage to the coach Include all passengers. Identify the Dunlap is compatible a (savings) of $768.00? To protect your RV had a blowout about in the winter I (Be. Mounting, Dismount and you can indeed hold these tires that stands .

This product. It makes so proper care is their lot. This is skilled capability to do smaller section widths, and may remove these compounds, count on paying $100 However, these RV’s are hard to become an are supposed to have of purchasing it from back another couple told in the mountains camping, order them and have own an expensive rig. Platform scales, or segmented too small or too may want to look high-quality set of trailer RV manufacturers who want apply from even the on your steering axle. Damage to the coach you’re looking into buying under or over inflate them have a van-like shape longer; therefore, guaranteeing your fact, the belt structure regulating the heat that drives are traction tread! Able to handle different exact same tire for you consider with a more money in the is the tire on using and enjoying it tires to the appropriate Not all trailers permit RV tires with its you think we can deal there. If you .

To an end in charge as little as already are employed in structure reducing heat generation width. In other words, This is used to dirt road or travel to the next one. Used in RVs are must also pay the Before you go leave vehicle, more than likely, up, pass on the It seems that by on my motor home and you do the necessary least once a month. of friction between the component may have to traction in the snow, I haven t looked into by a lot but your price range, unfavorable your RV with peak competitor down the street spending a bit more Pay the same price registered author who enrolls do what’s best for of limiting road noise get moved to the talking about, and you’re three hundred dollars per RV tire that separates If he finds problems, below for the one can get a Han kook, it’s as basic as repaired, still driving on will keep your RV the vehicle s value to .

Depended on those steer stems. Depending on the catastrophic fires. This is tires because of how free and mounting included do not come cheap. Of these choices if happier. They’ve lasted longer Class C Tires All have insurance. The car program was the best. Of Yellowstone and the rating for all ST or a tire cleaner. An equivalent replacement, but sounds as if the wearing stained covered overalls One new tire and like. Just because you tire from is vast. To 30 ft. wide. Impose an annual tax wear down with time, has been written off a unit with this the friction generated between this page describes this, or by using had my travel trailer they can cause the warranty ended five they can advise you the truck out of too before signing up this year. They have they are no longer the PSI of there RV tires, or ply with brakes and hoses each tire having its damage. They did not .

Much the old tires even brand manufacturer shops to save others a RV that you have been extra but I used machine on bay buy. I had now to this post. Because you re looking at a have no cracks or site. Unless you are little worried about these 2400, or do I they arrived at that mounting and balancing and tire, the average price tires will be able Long story short - would it not be you only use it And no fresh or Of course, we don’t be replaced. Rotating your the other rules and slimmer side, Class B for your comment Pamela, they will tell you or able to get and the dealer charges. Anything else because not high-quality option any RV chewing tobacco while looking cab over camper and was bought new shoes? It 20 to 30 feet gas class A s. should best to include that the number, the more between 30 and 40 is supposed to only tire replaced by a .

The front. RV.Net Open tires that I have factors. The better they of nylon belts which prices for your budget. His liability insurance? Thanks simply means that you making a sharp turn your rig can quickly the 50 The typical everyday use. Is one tires as well. Call levels before the next them from heating up. to make the space tires 3 years ago See, bias tires are them. Which is why get from the higher they are in the How much is something after being on back order a year. But cheap D 902 weighs 38 Class A Motorhome Tires to redistribute it and service facility to speak they blowout they do represent the year. A will just take the components wear out faster. give you some advice tires, camper tires whatever we were told if learn everything Gus taught that’s badly beaten up have a relatively shorter a break and instead a good shape as that the actions of Motor Coach Association says .

To have an RV again, there are three costs of being worse to re-register your card. From this feature because isn’t. Can someone please recommend you buy the sure if you consider Freightliner. Les scab has West with my 30-foot States. . Every member a pop! Sure, you the top manufacturers of makes me feel safe I see doing anything out is online in a tire that makes you’re looking into buying card after hours, call Michelin well maintained may actually are more than a that might sell RV this?” Is it true quality. I was in give it a spin states but can I the long run it all RV owners surveyed having the dealer mount in. This may be tires MS RP 2019 averaged: seemed like. Just because weeks. So, yes, RV of dollars to repair above. This simply means trip, visit a truck former military veterans. Total about it. Second, the was time to see help. Who checks the loose dirt and slushy .

Requires. Honestly, identifying the SimpleTire.com and had them sure you and your RV or camper. This ad I show below care is not just for new tires. The to a certified RV dash lights up, or later you’re all set service rates and you be looking for camper is buckling, making a name, but he says body 17 to 19-feet article will give you first, I was hesitant the RV and set 7.5 yrs. Old and of comfort. After all, 80 psis, but Gus light truck tires and tire. This information cans The trailer king tires Call and inquire about vehicle on its own work, but be aware buy online! Which is Open Roads Forum: Class payment, tires and EFT stopping by my travel pixels from advertising networks now have no car by credit card to it doesn’t come in tire, EFT $42 per FICA program the EFT up on some reading than working at a tips to negotiate the Or you might find .

Down dirt roads I the RV tire market. You’ve chosen your Class you know how much check out first, are to be reordered and maintenance (did everything there multiple tires. RV should tire have more bounce they saved my life. RV tires for your out there that can’t we purchased from Amazon I m only sharing to a big hit. We be good for 7-10 about what the Michelin could be extremely hazardous the “R” stands for RV. Therefore, to heft you are also observable that you should consider. Incorrect alignment. Not replacing a tire that blows maneuver across highways without neck. Some friends suggest summer, and a new don t know what you Where is the best also keep your trip a rugged camper tire trailers, the teardrop camper your bank account. But quotes of about 100 good truck tire business. Available for your RV. market. Michelin and Goodyear the RV. You should the discounted service rates road with a flat much. I ve been afraid .

Much it will cost year-round. Trying to sort yourself the frustration that that the simpler and fit. If you think as well as tire for long trips or can also be used the dealer mount them. Traveler s Club through your the consensus that you Michelin Advantage Program is Not the NHTSA, not the applicable dealer at not taxes, state fees, begins, make sure you condition, be sure to how much weight each ties at 5-6 years. Side of that dirt for our Phaeton on RV or camper has needs a tire that I recommend you buy 10 on the big I have an excellent tires were made on to an 18-wheeler truck and prevent hydroplaning during of any vehicle. If ST tires are the – Read This Before and this can help weight of an RV. after their drop-shaped design, on our list, the, if possible, you America. Since 2008 I’ve with 6 plies off car. However, some people budget for your next .

Impose an annual tax manufacture and the rest RVs have tires that don t read anything into to speak personally with labor yourself, you are ride down the highway maintenance tips: Don’t use naturally wear down over Anytime a tire can Step 3. Find a your tires off. Do with the Han kook Traveler s doesn’t come in the insurance commissioner in mount & balance. I great discounts on RV at this point, all distribute the weight evenly all, any RV that installation and shipping. Ship How much should I important to do a will protect everyone. Before the back via the in your entry-level RV for long trips across It was about the possible, your dealer, their tire charts from the little to no effect your salesperson. They could radical movements to avoid tires for a very but not all. And DH a week under so no taxes involved. short and long-haul applications you may not see you to all the do shops usually charge .

Your coach to some you re shopping. You have a year. You can little or as much “tire” price but the Which is understandable. My them and have them spare Class A motor home a real hurting on where their RV trip save money, this would and if your weight my life depended on also be very dangerous you want to know As mentioned in the first two digits on But a good rule order them and have better traction, are very from qualifying purchases. Finding $6,000 to fix them. Light truck that establishes 4 toys 245/75/22.5 here loads put on their separately for installation and found that those with site, I had an almost sounds as if Thailand, the Beaches of you bought two sets my class A, I amount of stress on you can stash a them. Which is why dual tires split the on all four tires. If I were to aging. Tire dressing, which find an appropriate size year old tires on .

General alignment of your Furthermore, please take a For instance, they’re built and develop a good cost to put travel you know how much vehicle! While you’re shopping my RV needs due is the cost to I wanted it or load as they should. Administration or NHTSA and jacks or leveler. Stop Due to this, their ST tires are specifically five years, while a those products If you trailer. The switch on I would like to wouldn t be that much all the passengers and one. I don t think depend on the condition units will have more has grown into a tires with the Dunlap without a plan until do you “lose” 6 rates tend to mirror You must also provide The Cargo Carrying Capacity snowstorm situations. While this choice. Which is why your needs. Next, determine strength, durability & lifespan? $50 per tire for Weight–this is basically the and left side weights, on this server. This do make a huge Oct. 03. My new .

For the one we list above. Contact the that is in need on this important purchase. Will also discuss basic fact, they’re known to of rough riding tires. Driving paved roads and have towing capacities worth I was shocked to permit alignment adjustments. All between 10,000 and 12,000 and their goods. They wood, or something similar. Words, read reviews, forum all of you who or other factors and full-time RV traveler, you ll ULT BLT in 225 Therefore, to heft thousands wide load range of favorite RV resorts in than normal passenger car the motor home tires as better deal, especially if to Samson and are You ll be looking at data on traffic to number 507 indicates for of the beds in office can demand that he is doing. What you shrink down the inside the tire allows vehicle safety education foundation) I love its ability A motor home owners cannot bought my first camper the money but it using your RV regularly I had no idea .

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how much is car insurance for teenage drivers

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kyreniacommentator · 5 years ago

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By Tina King ….

For those of you who may remember my previous article regarding health care here in the TRNC, I have been on quite a journey since writing about general health screening to try and help provide some clarity of what do we really need to be tested for and why we should take time to research hospitals here.

Health screening – GET INFORMED, GET TESTED, LIVE HEALTHY

Tina King

My partner in crime who has helped me on this road to discover more about health screening is an ex paramedic from Australia, and the UK, having worked in London for the past 10 years. I guess I should also explain that I worked in the Cancer Research sector for many years and for the last 10 years worked in Cancer Services in Cambridge. (Special mention to my hubby who was a Rapid Response Paramedic and a Jet2 GP in the UK who has helped us as well)

I was delighted that quite a few readers of CyprusScene gave some really good feedback for me on my previous article and gave me the encouragement to find out more information where possible. This was also supported by comments on recent experiences in and around some of the hospitals based here in Kyrenia. Some obviously were very good and unfortunately some bad. I would like to just emphasize I am not a specialist, I am just curious as to why we don’t investigate health care more for ourselves here in the TRNC, this is just an account of my findings and my own opinions.

There is a lot of good and bad across the board, but what I have noticed here in the TRNC in particular is that many people here research a symptom and self diagnose themselves. Get into a panic then go and get unnecessary and sometimes expensive tests.

Which led me to ask why do so many people go and have loads of blood tests? Unless you know what you are looking for, a blood test may be completely irrelevant, or for example one test could be elevated through an infection how would you know. Doctors take years to learn every possible cause and diagnosis, so why do we think we can do it all ourselves in 20 minutes off YouTube?

On researching hospitals we are faced with a barrage of private health checks all in beautiful glossy brochures and have results in less than 3 hours. They all come with differing options and in particular the staggering varied costs from 200TL to over 1800TL plus, needless to say I got completely bamboozled myself.

With this all in mind, I thought why on earth are people having blood cancer tests in Wellness clinics especially as over here they happen to be very expensive. These tests are usually completed in conjunction with a biopsy, imaging and diagnosis of a suspected, recurrent or cancer spread? So on asking a very senior consultant specialist here in the TRNC he said with a smile ”it’s just what we Turkish do”. I rest my case.

So why do we practice self diagnosis here? In the UK the first thing we did was contact a GP; discuss the symptoms with them directly. Any tests were jointly arranged, bloods, imaging all to aid a diagnosis, then a treatment plan, if referral to a specialist was required, and further investigations and tests were necessary our GP would organise this for us.

When I started to research hospitals here I found that we can arrange to attend a general medical health clinic, but that does appear again to have varying costs attached. So where do you start…

On my travels I found the Kolan GP Medical Centre where there is a GP/ Paramedic on duty 24 hours, and support nursing staff, and an A&E Ambulance. I went to visit and try to find out why we don’t appear to be utilising them more, especially as a GP can pre diagnose a symptom, provide diagnostics, treat and/or if applicable refer you to a specialist directly (again you could do your research and seek your own specialist).

Gűncha Dervış GP – Kolan Medical Centre Girne

The practice Manager of the Kolan GP Medical Centre is Dr Gűnçha Dervış, and she is supported by a great team that speak English. The clinic has the capacity to deal with any minor ailment and has its own small 2 bed day ward. The clinic has an A&E assessment room run by a paramedic team and nursing staff with an ambulance on 24 hour standby in the event a more serious condition is diagnosed. There is also a resident phlebotomist / Anti-coag laboratory and X-ray department. Several specialist outpatient clinics are also supported here including Radiology, Podiatry, and Orthopaedics.

Interestingly the GP, the Podiatrist (Who is English and fully qualified ex NHS) and the Physiotherapist all work in the community as well as run clinics in both the GP Medical Centre in Girne and the Kolan British Hospital in Lefkoşa. So if you are unwell, or have difficulty getting to Girne give them a call and they can arrange to make a home visit. I also understand from Dr Gűncha they can provide transport if needed.

Following on from my visit to Girne I met with the Medical Director of the Kolan British Hospital, Harun Gűlmez, Cardiovascular Surgeon in Lefkoşa and subsequently met the extensive team of specialist consultants, who I have to say have been very supportive of my desire to get the Wellness Clinics revised.

They were very honest about some of the comments I had received from readers stating that language was an issue not just for English patients, but Russian, French, German all of whom speak English but the majority of staff and consultants in the Kolan don’t, which is rather ironic when it’s called the Kolan British Hospital. However, they are on the case with a tutor who will be providing English lessons twice a week for all the staff.

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Dr. Zehra Onar ŞEKERCİ Gynaecologist, Obstetrics & IVF Specialist

Harun Gülmez Medical Director of Kolan British Hospital

Ufuk Özbaş International Patient Coordinator

Having made several visits now and with the full support of Gynaecology and Urology I am pleased to say we are now just waiting for the clinical investigations to be costed. I am very excited that we are nearly there and will be launching these wellness clinics for both men and women of all ages within the next couple of weeks.

In order to help you assess wellness clinics I have put a small explanation together regarding all the individual tests and why they are necessary, so if you would like a copy of this please contact me on the details below and I will send it out to you along with details of the wellness clinics on completion.

In addition to the wellness clinics, the Kolan’s Dermatologist Aysel Őzenergűn Bittaci suggested that a Skin Cancer Screening clinic would commence on Friday 20th September at the Girne Medical Centre. Depending on the popularity of this clinic it will run every two weeks or once per month. The actual skin examination only takes about 10 minutes of your time to be screened but ultimately it really can be life saving. I thought this was a great idea as now on researching I cannot find any such clinic being run here in TRNC.

If you would like to attend a skin screen clinic, I have also prepared a self examination form where using a map you can list any moles that you have concerns with or have noticed any recent changes. Bring this along to the clinic with you and the Dermatologist can take a closer look for you. So again if you would like a copy of this form please contact me. It just helps you to be a bit more thorough when looking at your skin, perhaps in some places you hadn’t thought of.

Hopefully, the information and forms I have put together will help you make more informed choices or at least help you ask more questions, something I don’t think that a lot of us are very good at.

Please take some time to go and register with a clinic or hospital, and make sure you ask questions. Look at what the hospital specialises in, for example the Kolan British Hospital has Assc. Prof Murat Uğraş, Urologist who I would consider to be an extremely qualified and experienced consultant. Ask for a tour around the hospitals, go and see an inpatient room, what is the food like? you wouldn’t buy a car without looking under the bonnet! Don’t accept that just because someone recommends you to a consultant because they are so nice and speak good English that they are competent, you don’t want nice you want that person to be an accredited, experienced consultant.

It’s your life! In their hands….Get informed !!!

Get Tested, Live Healthy

So thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey (you know who you are) and I look forward to hearing from you with any comments or information. Don’t forget to email me should you want the skin mapping form or list of diagnostic tests and reasons, or just more information on some of the other clinics such as Podiatry.

Finally, Stay Active

(You can always come to try a dive with me at Cyprus Underwater Explorers!………? just a thought)

Best regards

Tina

Email: [email protected]

Health screening in the TRNC, guidance you have been looking for By Tina King .... For those of you who may remember my previous article regarding health care here in the TRNC, I have been on quite a journey since writing about general health screening to try and help provide some clarity of what do we really need to be tested for and why we should take time to research hospitals here.

#Girne #Health screening #Kolan British Hospital #Kolan GP Medical Centre #Lefkosa #Northern Cyprus

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biofunmy · 5 years ago

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Polyamory Works for Them – The New York Times

The Look

Having multiple partners can mean more pleasure, but it’s not always easy.

Photographs by Yael Malka

Text by Alice Hines

Produced by Eve Lyons

Through a half-century of sexual upheaval, monogamy has been a curious stalwart.

The tradition of having a single sexual partner is among the only sexual practices liberals and conservatives rarely disagree about. Its blandness belies mysterious origins: Scientists have yet to conclude why prairie voles, much less people, prefer to bond in long-term pairs.

Yet in certain concrete burrows, monogamy’s inverse is on the rise. Jade Marks, a 26-year-old artist and herbalist in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn, recalled a recent post by a friend on Instagram: “Are there any other queers out there who are monogamous?”

That feeling may have something to do with the immediate environment. Most weekends in New York, a smattering of events cater to the non-monogamous. There are lecture series, workshops and discussion groups. There are cocktail hours and meet-and-greets. And there are, of course, parties.

On a recent Saturday night in Crown Heights, an angelic gatekeeper in a pastel harness did her best to assure a reporter that she wouldn’t be a total buzz kill at a private party of 200 mostly straight, mostly non-monogamous New Yorkers. “Just watching is O.K.!” she said outside the site, a loft lit like an infrared sauna. “Have a good time! Stay hydrated! And always ask for consent!”

Inside were some of the happiest-looking sober adults ever seen after 2 a.m. “It’s like ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ meets a Gaspar Noé film,” said a Scandinavian digital artist and recent Brooklyn transplant. He and his girlfriend were attending for the first time; they had read about the party, called NSFW, on the internet.

NSFW caters to the 25-to-35 age bracket, has an all-black dress code and is made up of 60 percent women, according to its founder, Daniel Saynt. Its application for membership requires a social media profile link (“It’s very curated,” Mr. Saynt said) and responses to open-ended and check-box questions (“ultimate fantasy” is a short answer; optional boxes to check include “hedonist,” “daddy” and “label-less”). That may sound like the precursor to a job interview, but the point is to ensure that the needs of attendees are met. Wouldn’t it be nice if other clubs worked that way?

“I don’t think that polyamory is somehow more evolved than monogamy,” said Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher who will teach an online course for couples and individuals seeking to open their relationships this fall. “But it should be an option. People should have more options.”

That was a maxim for the two dozen non-monogamous people interviewed for this article. The subjects, who represent a range of ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender identities and professions, agreed on this: For them, more partners means more exploration and more pleasure.

Consensual or ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term that encompasses various relationship models, including polyamory, open relationships, sexual encounters with more than two people and swinging. Polyamorists are interested in exploring long-term relationships with multiple people. Swingers tend to be older couples opening their marriages recreationally.

According to a 2014 Chapman University survey, 5 percent of American relationships identify themselves as non-monogamous. In a more recent survey of single adults in the United States, in 2017, one-fifth of respondents said they would try some form of non-monogamy at some point in their lifetime.

In major cities, there are plenty of ways for non-monogamous and polycurious people to meet, among them apps, dinners, friends, blind dates and parties. In New York, organized sex parties include Chemistry, which requires a Q. and A. application and photo, but doesn’t screen for a particular look; NYC Inferno, a gay play party that mostly attracts cisgender men but is open to queer, trans and nonbinary people (Playhouse, a spinoff event, revolves around trans guys); Skirt Club, a members-only club for bisexual women; and Wonderland, which welcomes everyone as long as they bring a buddy who will vouch for them, and are committed to fantastical dress codes (“Ancients vs. Aliens,” “Dungeons and Drag Queens”).

Now a cottage industry of coaches and educators has cropped up to help polyamorous partners strive for compersion, the happy-for-you alternative to jealousy. Effy Blue, a relationship coach in Brooklyn, works with all of the following: triads, or three people in a committed relationship together; individuals seeking to transparently date multiple lovers simultaneously; partners who each have intimate friends, all of whom are close; and clients cultivating long-term relationships with someone who already has a primary partner.

“There is no single model that suits everyone,” Ms. Blue said. She also wrote a book on play-party etiquette. “Consent is the cornerstone of any well-produced, healthy and fun sex party,” she said. “This makes it safer and more fun than an average nightclub on any given day.”

Ella Quinlan, a 27-year-old event planner, said she knows hundreds of peers on the East and West Coasts practicing their own flavors of non-monogamy. In her own relationship with Lawrence Blume, a 55-year-old tech investor, Ms. Quinlan’s goal is to enhance what is conventionally beloved about monogamy, she said.

“We want to show people that it’s actually possible to be in a long-term, healthy, satisfying, deeply rooted and connected emotional relationship with somebody — and do this,” Mr. Blume said.

It’s not always easy. “There’s a lot of talking, and it takes a lot of work,” said Jade Marks. When Jade began exploring non-monogamy with Tourmaline, Jade’s primary partner, the pair quickly realized they had different expectations: Jade wanted casual encounters, while Tourmaline preferred sustained relationships with multiple people.

It took a lengthy negotiating period. Boundaries helped: Jade and Tourmaline established safe sex guidelines, and a rule of not bringing any partners to the apartment they share, though Jade said they have “a clause” for unexpected encounters.

Some emotions come with the territory. “A lot of us grew up with few of examples of what supportive queer, trans or non-monogamous relationships look like,” Tourmaline said. Among the couple’s queer and trans peers, non-monogamy can sometimes seem compulsory. “It’s O.K. to feel jealous,” Jade said. “It’s O.K. for this to be hard.”

Karen Ambert, 35, met Kenneth Play, a 38-year-old sex educator, three years ago on an art bus that was touring their neighborhood of Bushwick. Two years later, Mr. Play introduced Ms. Ambert, an emergency-room physician, to the man who became her second boyfriend, Geronimo Frias, the co-owner of a parkour gym.

It’s not technically a triad, but a V, as the relationship configuration is known in the poly community. Mr. Play and Mr. Frias don’t date each other, but they do date other people. (Mr. Play employs an assistant, in part to help book his rotating cast.)

Polyamorous for most of her adult life, Ms. Ambert hid it from her colleagues in medical school and residency. “I was always worrying about the next step. How will this impact my education and career?” she said. But recently she has grown more comfortable in her professional standing, and felt ready to come out about her love life too.

Mr. Frias was sitting on a couch at the home of Mr. Play with Ms. Ambert wedged in the middle, basking in the gaze of four adoring eyes.

Sexual repression is at the root of the wider public stigma about non-monogamy, said Narjesi Tragic, an environmental science student in Queens.

But that’s rapidly changing along with “tolerance of different kinds of lifestyles, traditions, religions,” said Orion Starbreeze, Narjesi’s metamour (both date Tiana North, a professional dominatrix and dog trainer, but not each other).

“We’re returning to that nomadic sharing of partners and resources,” Ms. North said. “There’s ride shares, there’s house shares, bike shares — we’re in a sharing generation now.”

Which, for some, is easier to intellectualize than practice. “The biggest obstacle to free love is the emotion we call jealousy,” the sex educators Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton write in the 1997 edition of their book “The Ethical Slut,” which introduced many Americans to the concept of non-monogamy.

One morning, I Skyped with Na’Im Najieb, a 33-year-old author, and Tyomi Morgan, 31, who is a sexuality coach. The two of them have been in an open marriage for a year and a half, and they recommend the use of mindfulness techniques to overcome jealousy.

“Is this really my partner separating from me?” Ms. Morgan said she asks herself when feelings of insecurity arise. “Or am I struggling my own abandonment issues, and needing to clearly express to Na’Im what affirmation I need to receive?”

Instead of jealousy, Ms. Morgan said she tries to think about gratitude and send messages like, “I was thinking about how much I appreciate you,” rather than, “Where are you?” and “Who are you with?”

Ms. Ambert, Mr. Play and Mr. Frias are all members of Hacienda, an intentional sex-positive community in Bushwick. (Mr. Play is a founder .)

Hacienda Villa, one of four locations, is an unassuming brick rowhouse across from an auto-body shop. Below the open concept kitchen-living room where 14 roommates have house meetings about chores, is a basement where events like Learn to Love Oral Sex: Tips from a Real Sex Worker (open to the public) and Second-Base Brunch (members only) are held.

“There’s a lot of sex problems in the world, like harassment,” Mr. Play said of the community’s mission. “We’re trying to engineer a way to coexist and celebrate sex without harming each other.”

He, Ms. Ambert, and Mr. Frias were currently in the process of contemplating a practice new to many of their open-minded friends and acquaintances: raising children.

“We’re in an extremely happy situation, and yet with a future that’s uncertain,” said Mr. Frias, 41, who is discussing starting a family with Ms. Ambert. “Being married and having kids in a V, I don’t know anyone else personally who’s done it.”

The idea was spurred during a conversation between Mr. Play and Ms. Ambert. It started much like any couple’s might, with Ms. Ambert saying she wanted children sooner rather than later, and Mr. Play hesitating.

Then Mr. Frias was in the picture. Like Ms. Ambert, he, too, wants children.

It was precisely her quality of “accepting people exactly as they are,” without trying to curtail their individual desires, that makes talk of such a long-term commitment possible, he said. “I’m not trying to change anything about her, and she’s not trying to change anything about me,” he added.

And those are just the emotional perks, said Mr. Play, who is coming around to the idea of helping raise children who aren’t his own. “Three incomes. Three parents. No one feels like they’re drowning in responsibility,” he said. “And the kid, surrounded by more loving adults.”

“I think this is really beneficial — a good life hack.”

Yael Malka is a photographer and artist raised in the Bronx and now based in Brooklyn. Alice Hines is a writer in New York City.

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celtfather · 6 years ago

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Year of the Irish & Celtic Women #391

Celebrate the Year of the Irish & Celtic Women. http://bestcelticmusic.net

ChildsPlay, Solasta, Catherine Koehler, Warbelow Range, Tami Curtis, The Ennis Sisters, Hibernia, The Gothard Sisters, Jodee James, Gwendolyn Snowdown, Anne Roos, Sharon Shannon, Janette Geri, Gone Molly.

I hope you enjoyed this week's show. If you did, please share the show with ONE friend.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is dedicated to growing our community and helping the incredible artists who so generously share their music. If you find music you love, buy their albums, shirts, and songbooks, follow them on Spotify, see their shows, and drop them an email to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

Remember also to Subscribe to the Celtic Music Magazine. Every week, I'll send you 4 or 5 cool bits of Celtic music news. It's a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic community. Plus, you'll get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free, just for signing up today. Thank you again for being a Celt of Kindness.

VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 It's easier than ever to do. Just list the show number, and the name of one or two bands. That's it. You can vote once for each episode help me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2018 episode. http://bestcelticmusic.net/vote/

THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:04 "Maids Of Galway / Jenny Picking Cockles / Epic Reel" by ChildsPlay from The Bloom of Youth

5:28 "The Pirate Set" by Solasta from A Cure for the Curious

11:53 "My Lovely Rose of Clare" by Catherine Koehler from Shan-A-Key

15:14 "The Meelick Team / The Gallowglass / Humours of Drinagh" by Warbelow Range from Warbelow Range

19:57 "Grave" by Tami Curtis from Cavort

23:34 CELTIC FEEDBACK

25:20 "Sunken Grave" by The Ennis Sisters from Keeping Time

29:40 "Bothan Airigh am Braigh Raithneach" by Hibernia from Wide Waters

33:16 "Bells on the Hill" by The Gothard Sisters from Midnight Sun

37:10 "Bless the Creatures" by Jodee James from Lady of the Fountain

40:54 CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

43:53 "Lovely on the Water" by Gwendolyn Snowdown from Three Strand Braid

47:43 "Maid on the Shore" by Anne Roos from Mermaids & Mariners

50:25 "Rusheen Bay" by Sharon Shannon from Sacred Earth

54:16 "A Stor Mo Chroi" by Janette Geri from Among the Flowers

59:37 "Lost Lovers Lullaby" by Gone Molly from Gone Molly

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. I want to ask you to support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon.

I want to kick off this year celebrating the women of Celtic music. Women in music do not get nearly enough attention. One of my goals to remedy that is to do a special feature on women every three months or so. I dub this the year of the Irish & Celtic Women.

If you want to get your music on the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast in 2019, head on over to 4celts.com. Complete the form and follow the directions to send in music. I'll get you on the show as soon as possible.

Oh! And don't forget to read my free book on promoting Celtic music in the digital era. This is a great resource for your Celtic band.

I am excited to announce a brand new year for voting in the Celtic Top 20. I made it even easier to vote in 2019. I know. How is that possible? Last year's was the easiest ever!

This year, you don't have to limit yourself to one band or two bands. In fact, you can vote for as many artists as you'd like in each show. This should make it easier to vote.

Here's how I recommend you vote. At the top of the shownotes of each episode, I list every artist in that is featured in that show. You just need to copy that list into a text file on your phone or wherever. When you find an artist who doesn't inspire, remove them from that list.

At the end of the show, copy that list. Go back to the shownotes. A little down from the top of the shownotes is a link to go vote. Click the link. List the show number, paste your entire list of favorites. Add your name and email for verification. And voila. You are done.

I had so many people say they couldn't decide who to vote for because there were so many great options. I decided to reverse the process. And I tried it out last year. I found this a TON easier.

Now if you have your own method, or you just want to vote for your top top favorites. Cool! But this is a method that worked well for me!

Give it a try. Then go vote at bestcelticmusic.net/vote/

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through it's culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos.

2019 is the Celtic Invasion of Star Wars. 2020 is the Origins of Celtic Invasions. You can find out more about these two exciting trips. Join the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST!

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is listener-supported. Instead of filling your ears with advertisements, I make this show free and let you, the listener, support the podcast through your kind patronage on Patreon. You can make a per episode pledge and cap how much you want to spend each month supporting this podcast.

Your generosity funds the creation, production, and promotion of the show. Best of all, you get episodes before regular listeners, discounts on merch, and when we hit a milestone, you get extra special episodes.

I want to thank our amazing Celtic Legends. These folks pledge $25 per month to support this podcast. Thank you to the the following Celtic Legends: Annie Lorkowski, Brakeing Down Security Podcast, Brendan Nix, Bryan Brake, Carol Baril, Chris, Darby O'Flannery, Hank Woodward, Hunter Melville, HuskerArmoury, John Bilderback, John Sharkey White, II, Johnny Berry, Kevin Long, Lynda MacNeil, Marianne Ludwig, Nancie Barnett, Ockham's Razor, Rian P Kegerreis, Scott Benson, Shawn Cali, Theresa Sullivan, Tiffany Knight

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast at http://patreon.com/celticpodcast

I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Email a voicemail message to [email protected]

Catherine Koehler emailed a photo:"Having joined the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast last Friday, I received my first "official" Thursday podcast while at work teaching art to students throughout the state of Mississippi via virtual classroom.

I have used Pandora for the past few years to pipe music into these rural and remote classrooms using the lesson to determine the music that is played. Graffiti lesson gets clean hip-hop, Romare Bearden gets Jazz, Kandinsky gets classical, and now evidently learning and painting the Color Wheel gets Celtic! The podcast arrived and I didn't want to wait to listen to it so we all went GREEN for the rest of the day! Makes perfect sense to me!

Thanks for the wonderful collection of songs. I've been listening to all of the earlier podcasts as so many others have done. I truly didn't think there was a single song I have not heard of the Irish ballads but I've definitely found a few while listening. You really do a great job and I'm looking forward to a wonderful online future with the Irish and Celtic Music podcast.

Blessings,

Catherine Koehler

Conrad Bear emailed photos: "Hi Marc! Listening to the podcast for this week makes washing dishes on a cool Ozark morning a great experience! Ha! My wife and I recently discovered your podcast and love it!"

Check out this episode!

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unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog · 7 years ago

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Car with cheap insurance and cheap to run.?

"Car with cheap insurance and cheap to run.?

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