#- this was fun lol. poor jon. i wonder what will happen to him next…

[fissions-chips]

party favour

(prompt 3: delirium. 'bad karma' au- tw for drugging, disorientation, noncon kissing + touch, and vomiting)

Everything was… too much. Far, far too much.

   With one hand pressed to his aching head, Jon staggered along, struggling not to crash into the darkened figures that suddenly loomed in his vision. Sick, sick sound pulsed through him, shuddering up from the floor, and the moment Jon’s hand hit the wall, he sank against it, pressing his face to it for a moment and praying it would block out some of the light, some of the noise, something.

   What the hell did that prick give me?

   Valentine’s parties were an unusual fare for a man of his standing- for all his riches and all his power, Valentine hated galas, or fundraisers, or any of the other blasé forms of social gathering that CEOs and businessfolk generally had to allow themselves. He had been a rock star first, a man satisfied only with stage lights and the kind of beat that shook your chest with it… and even if he had toned it down, somewhat, to better please all of his guests, the neon lights and low, echoing sound was enough to rock Jon’s frazzled senses. 

   Last time he had been down here, in Silica’s lowest gathering hall, he had… he couldn’t remember, actually. The time before that, he did, because he had gone into that party painfully, painfully sober, with that metal muzzle-mask cutting into him. He’d been kept ‘at heel’ then, humiliated- stuck seated at Valentine’s feet the entire night, held by collar and leash like some stupid animal. The pain had been distracting enough, the mesh leaving dark bruising behind when the other had finally saw fit to loosen it from his face, after everyone had gone home- after everyone had gotten their kicks and taunts in. 

   That had been bad enough- Jon’s reputation had been on the rocks for years now, but his unpredictability had meant he was left well enough alone, back when he was on top. The occasional attempt at assassination, the occasional brawl, expected for one of his position. Now, as a prisoner, he had no such power to hide behind, and Valentine knew it. Everyone knew it. The muzzle had been a mark of that, of his fall from top to bottom- but this? Drugged to high-fucking-hell and tossed out among Valentine’s criminal elite? 

   It was worse. 

   “You’re coming,” Valentine had told him, “-as a party favour.” He had been grinning as he said it, smoke drifting from between his teeth as he shook pills out into his palm. “A cheap piece of entertainment for everyone- don’t look so glum, Jonny. It doesn’t take much to make you look like a joke. Here, be a dear and take these without a fight, would you? I’d hate to get blood on this suit.”

   His enemies wanted to see him hurting and miserable, voice slurring and steps staggered and halting. They thought it was funny. 

   I’m not laughing.

   Staring out into the crowd, Jon tried to catch sight of a familiar fur-collared coat and those damn tinted lenses- Valentine was his tormentor and a sick prick to be stuck with, but he was predictable. A constant. Familiar. With his vision swimming and sight, sound and sense blurring together, it was still a safer bet than the people whom Jon couldn’t recognize, sneering and snickering. Some of these guests, more than likely, had very good reason to see him harmed. Jon had a feeling that Valentine didn’t want him dead yet, and was likely keeping a closer eye on his guests than they realized- but he didn’t want to push it. He couldn’t afford to push it, when all it took was one penknife between his ribs or two hands around his neck, the other a second too slow to intervene. 

   If I did get stabbed, Jon wondered, taking a moment to slump back against the wall and breathe- his chest felt tight. God, he was burning up. Would I go to the hospital? Or to a bodybag in the trash? Valentine may not have wanted his ‘pet’ dead yet… but Jon doubted he was worth the effort to save. The other might even be tempted to throw him out while he was still breathing, left in some cold ditch or alleyway to die. The thought chilled him to the bone, and he tried to force it from his mind- an effort that felt like pushing a boulder uphill. His mind was racing too quickly for him to catch.

   Maybe I’d get a bullet, he thought. He wondered when that had become a hopeful thought, instead of a miserable one- the realization struck him like a fist, and he stumbled, a sudden flood of nausea overwhelming him. One shaking hand pressed to his chest, he lurched away from the wall, swallowing thickly- 

   And tripped over a leg stretched outwards, sent toppling to the floor. 

   “-ATCH IT!”

   Jon groaned, one arm shielding his head as a vicious kick was driven into his lower back, the sound breaking off into a strangled whine. Struggling to lift himself from the floor, he sank back onto his knees, trying to shake the stars from his vision. Laughter rang in his ears, and Jon bit back a curse as he struggled to his feet.

   The one who tripped him flashed him a wicked grin, all bared teeth- panting, Jon’s eyes narrowed. He tried to place his face in his mind, but recognition was beyond him, and the longer he looked, the blurrier his vision became. Scrubbing furiously at his eyes with the back of one hand, he limped onwards. The stumble had brought with it one stroke of luck; he knew one of the voices, nearly lost among the endless, pulsing noise. Strong and musical and mocking- and he staggered towards it, dodging hands as he went. 

   Valentine had thrown himself halfway across a booth, a glass of liquor in one hand, cigarette perched in the other- he took a deep drag of it and breathed pale, sweet smoke, still snickering. The woman he was sitting with, face blurred, nudged him and pointed- Valentine tilted his head and smiled, all teeth. 

   Having fun? He mouthed- or he might have spoken. Jon couldn’t tell. Overwhelmed and sound-sick, he just bowed his head and waited, swaying on his feet. 

   Valentine leaned over to the woman across from him, said something with a sneer- then, a hand closed around his wrist and dragged him into the booth beside the other. Jon found himself crushed to the other man’s chest, Valentine’s arm snaking around his waist and pinning him there. “Too much?” He murmured, breath hot against Jon’s ear. “You don’t look too good.” 

   Fuck you, Jon wanted to snarl. Fuck you and all your stupid shit. 

   That’s what he wanted to say. Instead, he just nodded, relieved to be off of his feet for a moment. Valentine chuckled, taking a puff of smoke before turning his head and jetting it across Jon’s face. Coughing, Jon screwed his eyes shut, turning his face to hide it in the fur of the other man’s coat. There was a rumbling against his cheek as Valentine said something, shifted a little- Jon let out a long, quiet sigh. 

   He could hear the other man’s heartbeat, hidden from the world. It was strong, steady. This used to be comforting. Jon could remember that, at least. Part of him prayed it would be the same now, as much as he loathed the man he was curled up against, and as much as Valentine loathed him. How many bad trips had he spent, just like this? Curled up against the other, waiting until his head cleared and his hands stopped shaking. 

   His chest ached with something a lot like grief. 

   There was a sharp nudge against his shoulder- Jon groaned, turning away. Then, the grip around his body turned bruising, and he forced himself to lift his head, thoughts spinning. 

   “Here.” 

   The rim of a glass was pushed up to his lips, and Jon balked- Valentine’s voice sharpened, insistent. “Drink,” he purred. “You’ll feel better.” 

   A hand closed in his hair, Jon’s head tilted back as Valentine began to drain the liquor in his glass down Jon’s throat. It burned, and, sputtering, the smaller man tried to squirm away, his hands fumbling at the other- his teeth clicked against the glass and Jon began to choke, struggling to breath around the alcohol pouring into his mouth. 

   Thunk. The glass was dropped heavily onto the table, Jon left hacking and coughing against Valentine’s coat- the dark-haired man snickered, muttering something about “holding his liquor” as his hand tightened in Jon’s hair until it hurt. 

   Jon’s stomach roiled, and he closed his eyes, completely overwhelmed. The taste of alcohol was nauseating, burning- his whole body was burning. His skin felt too hot. Heart pounding in his chest, panicked and stuttering, the man suddenly found himself dragged upright as Valentine let out a loud, raucous shout. 

   “Oh, I know this one! C’mon, Jonny!” 

   Senses swimming, Jon suddenly felt that same, sickening pulsing course up his body as he was dragged to the center of the floor, Valentine’s hand locked around his own. Was it the music? Was it his heartbeat? Voices cheered and crowed as Jon staggered with the sudden motion, his knees nearly buckling- before he could fall to the ground, however, he was spun in another direction, Valentine’s voice taking on a mocking note as he hissed into his ear. 

   “Two left feet, Jon? Better keep up~”

   With that, Jon suddenly found himself the unwilling partner in a stumbling, fast-paced waltz- Valentine stepped and spun effortlessly, his smile wide and dazzling as he sang along to the sound. Jon caught bits and pieces, the notes to some some song he couldn’t name- dizzy and overwhelmed by the motion, he struggled to keep up with the other and not collapse entirely. 

   The audience laughed and called, hooting and jeering as their faces blurred around them- Valentine preened under the attention, eyes glittering with cruel amusement as his fingers sank into the small of Jon’s back, digging into almost-healed bruises until the smaller man hissed in pain. 

   It was all too much. Completely disoriented, Jon let his head fall against the other man’s shoulder, humiliated. The cheering and laughter was loud, louder than the music, louder than the blood rushing in his ears- Jon, to his horror, found his eyes beginning to sting, and he pressed his face into the other man’s neck, praying that Valentine took the hint and gave him a moment to breathe. 

   I can’t keep this up. Jon couldn’t get his thoughts in order- he couldn’t focus. Coherence was slipping from him like sand through his fingers, and there was a foul, bitter taste beginning to rise in the back of his throat. 

   “-y, Val- o’er here!”

   A sharp voice called across the room- Jon’s feet dragged along the ground as he was hurriedly pulled along, Valentine shouting something in answer, laughing. Legs shaking, Jon’s fingers dug into the other man’s coat, fumbling blindly as he was suddenly shoved away. 

Come back.

   Jon’s head knocked against the back of another booth as hands suddenly seized him- struggling, Jon was spun to find himself face to face with another man, a plume of smoke meeting him and leaving him doubled over and hacking. 

   “Remember me?” 

   Blinking furiously, Jon shoved at the sudden intruder, teeth snapping at the fingers that grabbed him by the jaw, forcing his head forward. Chest heaving, Jon tried to pinpoint the sleek, pale hair and the flat, dark eyes of the man in front of him in his memory. Trying to sort it out was like walking upstream, unable to get his feet beneath him- Jon scrambled for the only point of recognition he had. Those same grey eyes staring down at him as he sobbed against the floor. 

   Shit.

   “M…Marcus,” Jon slurred. Swallowing thickly, his fingers found the wrist of the hand clutching his jaw and pulled, wincing as the grip only tightened. “You… broke my fingers once.” 

   The man’s brow furrowed in a scowl. “Not a nice way to greet your ex,” he muttered, shaking Jon slightly. “But fair enough.” 

  The next thing Jon knew, he was dragged forward, his lips crashing into the other man’s own. For a moment, he froze, completely stunned- a tongue slipped between his teeth, sour with alcohol, a hand curling around his ribcage and pinning him in place against the other man’s lap.

   Reality crashed into Jon like an electric current- sudden, violent disgust flooded his body, face flushing dark with embarrassment and fury. Jon reeled backwards, hands blindly shoving at the other man, the grip locked around his jaw and the fingers creeping down his hip. Marcus laughed as Jon wrenched his head free, eyes wide with panic. Shit, shit, shit- 

   Marcus’s lip was bleeding. Jon tasted blood in his mouth, mingling with liquor and something bitter and creeping. He still felt too hot. Strong hands seized his wrists and slammed them against his sternum, Jon left wheezing for breath as the other man sneered. He couldn’t breathe. Head spinning and vision darkening at the edges, Jon could just barely make out Marcus’s snarled words as a sudden, plunging feeling dropped into his stomach, roiling.

   “Calm down, you stupid fuck, I’m sure your boyfriend is fi-“

   Jon vomited.

   Immediately, the other man’s voice rose to a shout, Jon flung away as he doubled over violently, retching and coughing. Jon’s knees hit the floor and he toppled, gasping for breath. Heaving himself halfway upright, he tried to wipe the bile from his mouth, his hands shaking- he tried to lurch to his feet, heart rattling. He failed. 

   There was a sudden crash somewhere to his right- Jon turned his head to see the table had been sent tumbling to the ground beside him. He blinked, confused as to how it had gotten there. 

   Movement flickered in the edge of his vision, and Jon turned just as a boot caught him in the nose, his head cracking against the floor and his senses suddenly going black. 

— — —

   When Jon came to, he was on his back. Quiet chatter flickered at the edge of his senses, his ears ringing too sharply to make out anything more than garbled noise. After a moment- it stopped completely- he couldn’t feel any pulsing against his back.

   Did the music stop? 

   Everything hurt. His mouth was dry, tacky with the sour taste of iron and bile- Jon’s eyelids flickered like camera shutters as he slowly brought his hand to his nose. His fingers came away dark with blood. Letting his head fall back against the tile, Jon struggled not to be swept under again, his vision refusing to clear. 

   Something was resting on his chest. His ribs ached.

   After a few more moments, the pressure increased- Jon coughed, struggling for air. Shaking his head slightly, he managed to make it up onto his arms, looking down to find a shoe planted firmly against his chest. Following it up, Jon blinked to find Valentine looking over him, silhouetted by neon, flickering lights. 

   “I…” His mouth opened as if to speak, but Jon found that he couldn’t get the words out. His head felt like it was splitting open- like if he turned just right, he’d slip from his skull completely, like yolk from an egg. 

   Valentine’s eyes were cold. As the ringing slowly faded from his ears, Jon began to make out furious screaming, slowly quieting- Marcus, being steered from the room by two of Silica’s guardsmen. The man was spitting with fury, guests turning to watch him go as he was pushed from the doorway and disappeared down the hall, until the room was silent once more. 

   The man said something, quiet enough that Jon couldn’t make it out- he stared up at the other, still half-stunned. Valentine’s expression was unreadable, his eyes hidden behind his darkened lenses. Someone handed him a bottle from one of the tables- wine. Some kind of wine. 

   Jon swallowed. 

   “Apologies, everyone-“ Valentine suddenly called- all eyes turned to him, the room going still. “It seems my friend here has been having an… unpleasant trip.” 

   Looking down, Valentine’s eyes narrowed as he opened the bottle, tossing the cap away. “Bad taste in your mouth, Jonny?” He murmured- for just a moment, his lip curled in a look of fury. Then, just like that, it was gone, replaced by that flat, shallow smile that Jon knew so well. 

   “Here- something to wash it down with.” 

   Without another word, Valentine proceeded to empty the bottle over Jon’s head- the smaller man flinched, sudden cold spilling down the back of his neck, the front of his shirt. Eyes wide, Jon stared down at the red slowly beginning to bloom down the pale fabric, wine trickling down his face to mix with the blood splattered across his lip. 

   Alcohol. Bile. Blood.

   Shaking the last few drops out from the bottle, Valentine stepped back, looking down at his wine-splattered shoe with a sneer. He let out a disgusted sound, turning on his heel to stalk away, through the crowd. 

   Jon blinked. His hands were shaking- he tried to form some coherent thought. Something to cling to. 

   The wine was cold. His clothes were wet. He reeked of vomit. 

   He still felt hot, he still felt sick, his skin still burned where other’s hands had rested on it- Jon’s chest began to heave. There were too many eyes on him. There were too many eyes on him.

   To his horror, he realized that his cheeks were damp- and it wasn’t with wine.

   Slowly, shaking so hard that his teeth were beginning to chatter, Jon tried to struggle upright. Around him, people moved, stepped away, returning to their conversations. The music began to pound once more- it was louder now. 

   He made it to his feet, legs trembling so badly Jon feared they would fail him completely. Some instinct warned him that if he went down, he wouldn’t make it back up again- something had broken up inside him. Something that wailed and sobbed like a wounded animal. Jon tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the way his thoughts were starting to spiral as his senses did, but he was helpless to stop it. 

   Staggering, half-blind, he was jostled by elbows and shoulders and shoving hands, people startling out of his way with shouts and insults. Someone kicked the back of his leg, and he stumbled. 

   Jon didn’t hit the ground. A strong hand curled around his arm, keeping him on his feet. Jon reached out, fingers tangling into fabric as he tried desperately to orient himself. The room was spinning. He couldn’t get enough air. 

   The grip around his arm was like iron. 

   Looking up, Jon found himself staring at a massive silhouette, the man looking down at him with a bewildered expression. Close-shaven hair and dark eyes, a furrowed brow- something about the face was familiar, in a way that tugged at the back of his mind. 

   I know you.

   It took Jon a moment to realize that he had spoken- some slurred approximation of the words, all jumbled together. Unintelligible. Jon tried to step back, but the hand didn’t let go. 

   He tried again. 

   Stop. Let go. Please, let go. 

   This time, his voice failed him completely. 

   Jon didn’t protest when he was dragged out of the room and down the hall, shoved into a closet. Jon didn’t fight when his hands were roughly bound by the man’s own tie, or when he was pulled out into the cold outside. His feet slipped against the ground- he was tossed over the man’s shoulder and carried, limp and quiet. 

   He was tired. He was so, so tired. All the frantic energy of before had bled out of him, spilling right onto the floor with the wine. His chest was tight and his ribs hurt and his heart was pounding so hard he could barely feel one beat from another. When Jon was shoved into the back of the car, left sprawled across the seats, he did nothing- he didn’t have any fight left to give.

   A small part of him wondered if this man was going to kill him. A small part of him hoped it would be a bullet. 

   And a small part of him listened to the steady rumble of the engine, and ached. Ached with longing to be anywhere else but tied up in the back of a car, waiting for death. Ached to be warm, and dry, instead of shivering and alcohol-soaked, the taste of bile and humiliation still sharp in his mouth.

   Vision darkening, Jon let his thoughts drift- thoughts of himself, somewhere else. Somewhere warm. Someone… taking him home. Himself, sick, and someone else taking him home. Someone who would carry him inside and help him shrug out of his clothes, who’d wash the wine from his hair with gentle fingers and a quiet voice. Someone who’d help him into bed and let him curl up beside them, running a hand through his hair and saying sweet things to him- like in the movies. 

   He could almost picture it. Almost.

   It was a nice dream. 

[sheinthatfandom]

For the AU how about AEW in the world of The Magnus Archives

Thank you so much Lizzy who I’m assuming sent this cause I don’t think I have anyone else on here who likes the Magnus archives and wrestling lol I decided to go with the apocalypse.

1)statement Of Bryan Lloyd Danielson, lifelong vegan, and eco friendly goat man. He spent his whole life pushing to do right by the environment based on what he read and yet in the end still found himself on the processing line. Each step takes him closer and closer to the fate he feared so badly for the small creatures he refused to eat, but hey at least his body won’t go to waste. Victim of the flesh.

2)statement of Jonathan Moxley. His feet are pounding against the soft earth, muscles flexing and eyes sharp as he chases his prey through the deep woods. The call for blood is ringing in his ears as he leaps off a large boulder landing in front of the terrified victim before him. The prey blubbers and begs for mercy, for forgiveness, tries to call Jons human side out to remember their past brotherhood. Jon answers the call in his ears instead. When there’s nothing left to rip apart he rolls his shoulders and saunters off. There’ll be more prey soon and he wants to check in on his pack. Avatar of the hunt.

3)statement of Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Where is he? It’s so foggy, hello! Is anyone there? There should be people here. He was around people. Wasn’t he just around people? Yes, yes he was somewhere surrounded by a crowd, an event maybe? Was he important? Was the event for him? No, that can’t be right. If he was important then there would be someone here. If he was important then someone would care enough to be here with him, but he’s alone. So alone. He doesn’t want to be alone, but it feels so achingly familiar. Victim of the lonely.

4)statement of Toni Storm. Things are truly marvelous, wonderful, stupendous. She’s helping so many people who have lost themselves. Madness is a terrible illness, a tragic fate really but well one must help where they can. And with the world having gone tits up as it were of course Toni would do what she can to save as many poor souls as she can. It’s all quite simple really, if they remember her and her wonderful films then that means they haven’t been touched by the madness. But… if they had her assistants were quick to pluck the madness right out of the poor dearies heads. Lobotomies are all the rage you know? And well if they’re so far gone they can’t be saved… well then might as well save what parts they can. Waste not want that as it were. Avatar of the stranger.

5)statement of Daniel Garcia. He can hear the beginning sounds of the music playing. It’s almost time for another show. He hates that damn song, was there ever a time it didn’t make his skin crawl? He can’t remember anymore, but he knows he hated it even before everything changed. The lid on his box is lifted and he’s blinded by the white light of the spotlight overhead. His arms are pulled by the thick strings attached deep into his bones, jerking him ip and out of the box. His head looks forward before it’s forced up with a flick from above. The crowd laughs at him as he’s forced back and forth across the stage and dances and jumps and twirls for their amusement. He wants to cry, he’d quit he had been free and working on his own. Why was this happening, was this hell? The crowd cheers as he reaches the end of the act and he’s put back into his puppet box. The next show will start soon. He takes the short interval to try and force his fingers to move. Maybe if he can move on his own he get away. Judas begins to play, the next show is starting. Victim of the web.

I probably spent way too long on this lol but ty I had so much fun with it

Send me an AU

[davidmann95]

Thoughts on (the apparently rushed) DC solicits?

Yeah, apparently Diamond used to put them together and now it's just some guy in the DC offices, hence why they've been screwy since the changeover.

I Am Batman #1: "In the throes of Future State" just means those events coming about rather than this being set in the future, right? My impression is this is very much in the here-and-now, and I think this is gonna be really enjoyable with no more teasing out aspects of the premise and Coipel steadily on art. Killer title too. You're really gonna open this with the 'Anti-Oracle' though?

Batman #112-113: Glad to see Brandon Thomas but already miss the Ghostmaker backup.

Batman: Urban Legends #7: THE BOYS ARE BACK

Batman--Knightwatch: Bat-Tech Special Edition: I'm...not clear what this is?

Deathstroke Inc. #1: lol

Aquaman: The Becoming #1: shit I'm gonna like an Aquaman comic, and about a character who debuted on Young Justice no less, this sucks

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang. Kill Tour #1: Zero interest but glad to see Max Sarin getting work.

Suicide Squad: King Shark #1: Ditto except replace Max Sarin with the Defacer.

Are You Afraid of Darkseid? #1: This one's a maybe.

Action Comics #1035: Excited for this, especially with the fairly long-teased 'event' arc with Janin starting in the next issue, but I can't help but laugh looking at that cover because it absolutely looks like Superman's doing a Brandon Routh to his poor family.

Batman '89 #2: Ah, so this and '78 are still miniseries, somehow missed that before.

Batman: Reptilian #4: The preview for the first issue was definitely not what I expected coming from Ennis's interview; I'm curious how he'll square apparently doing the "Punisher MAX but it's Batman" approach so many people will want with the comedy he inherently sees in the character and his world.

Batman: The Adventures Continue Season Two #4: I had thought I was probably out but dammit if you're bringing the Gray Ghost in you've got my attention.

Batman/Superman #22: This is ending to be relaunched to focus on Jace and Jon, right? Between it doing steadily sales-wise and the acclaim I can't fathom a reason to dump Yang the same month King Shark is getting a mini.

(My worst fear is that DC floated this as a test - put a dynamite creative team on their two biggest characters, but without any sense of 'importance', and see how much readers gravitate towards it relative to crap that's central to the sacred Continuity - and feels it got an answer.)

Hardware: Season One #2: Probably still getting this.

Infinite Frontier #6: Hate when I'm made the new de facto head of the DCU and people are so unenthused about the prospect of this that the solicit for the last issue of my event mini isn't even listed at the front among the 'big' books of the month, when the first issue hasn't even hit the stands yet.

Justice League #68: This is where Jon joins, right? Conceivably even Jace/Yara/Kaldur, though I think that full changeover will be the marker of the next 'proper' relaunch.

Justice League Infinity #3: Moraaaaa. The premise of 'what if the Justice League cartoon did all the cool stuff?' loses something when it isn't actually the cartoon anymore - we're already used to seeing the cool stuff in this format - but I'm not gonna turn down good Justice League comics.

Legends of the Dark Knight #5: Cool, I'll get this.

Mister Miracle: The Source of Freedom #5: Orion still looks like that?

Rorschach #12: Hurm.

RWBY/Justice League #6: I guess any plans to sell Rooster Teeth would be on hold what with the move from AT&T to Discovery, so hopefully the chances of a more character-driven sequel aren't 100% dashed.

Strange Adventures #12: So goddamn nervous until the very last moment it's gonna turn out to be "it was his wife all along!"

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #4: God, what a cover.

Superman '78 #2: Looking forward to seeing that Hitch variant, and Hackman's Luthor should be fun in this context.

Superman and The Authority #4: Right up to the end the solicits for this sound like an event lead-in mini circa 2007 or so except it's Grant Morrison so what is it really??? AND WHY NO QUITELY VARIANT

Superman: Son of Kal-El #3: I don't trust Taylor to do the ideal possible version of 'Jon Kent becomes a leftist in college' but the basic setup of this status quo is great and I think he'll do a fun version of it that's going to satisfy a lot of people.

The Batman & Scooby Doo Mysteries #6: That's MY Scooby-Doo, y'all!

A Nice House On The Lake #4: WHAT SECRET COULD BE MORE TERRIFYING THAN ANYTHING IN THAT FIRST ISSUE

Wonder Woman: Black and Gold #4: God, Lotay.

Batgirl of Burnside Omnibus: I get why this is a collection that basically had to happen but that's not a new cover by Stewart, is that? Somebody please tell me that's something repurposed and they didn't give him new work.

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[malereader-inserts]

Big Wilding

Fandom: Game of Thrones Pairing: Tormund Giantsbane x Stark!Male!Reader Summary: The little wolf will soon return to his big wilding lover Word Count: 1,344 Request: “Hey so I loved the last tormund one you done and I was wondering if you could do a sort of continuation where the reader and Grimm reunite with tormund at castle black after the attack of kings landing, please.” Warning: Injuries - because I’m a sucker for concerning! protective! Tormund A/n: I’m ignoring what happened in the last episodes of GoT, sorry, poor writing and I refuse that is canon - lol. Part two of Little Wolf

“You treat her good, alright?”

There was a playful tease to your tone as you stare at your brother, well cousin - it was all confusing and yet it wasn’t. Daenerys giggled at your simple joke as Jon shakes his head annoyed, but there was a lighthearted smile on his face. You cast Daenerys a look.

“You’ll get used to his brooding matter,” You continue to poke fun at him as Dany gives her love a soft smile, “Well, aren’t you two a handsome couple?”

Jon grasps Dany tight as Dany looks up to him with a fond smile, which Jon had returned. You had come down to Kingslanding to help Dany take the Iron Throne, you had enough of Cersei and you found Dany worthy to be Queen and it was her birthright. Unfortunately, as much as you wanted to spend the rest of your days with your love, you couldn’t. 

Perhaps, you had thought you were rushing too much into a relationship and so going to Kingslanding with Jon had given you time to reflect. You love Tormund with all your heart, he was a goofball and yet so intimidating at the same time. Tormund was left devastated when you had told Grimm to go with him, thinking you would settle down at Kingslanding, as Dany had promised you to be the leader of the Royalguard. 

“You could still be Warden of the North,” Jon advice as you looked at him.

You had turned down the position of the lead and it was bestowed to next best; Jaime Lannister - who had surprised everyone when he came down to Kingslanding and murdered his twin. 

“No, I think Sansa has proven her worth to be Wardress of the North,” You softly hummed, “She’s a better leader than I could ever be.”

You stood in the middle of the Throne room, Drogon had melted the throne made out of swords and currently, the Smithers was working on two thrones. A lot had happened in the battle of Kingslanding, there were no innocents killed at least there wasn’t a mass amount. Dany had killed the Greyjoys fleet and Euron was begging at her feet, but she simply gives Euron away to Yara to kill.

The Unsullied, Dothraki and Northernmen had fought against the Golden company, despite being out numbers, your side had taken them down fairly well before Dany had decided to help and allowed Drogon to kill those lathered in Golden breastplates and helmets.

However, it did cost you some injuries. You had managed to get a strike through your left eye. You should be able to see within the next few days but for now, you were blind in one eye, so it was bandaged up and covered up until you were in the all clear. Also, your right arm, which was the arm you had fought with, was in a sling. Turns out horses crashing into you could mess with your shoulder and a few of your ribs.

Those were your major injuries, you were sporting minor ones as were many. As you were recovering in the few days in the Red Keep, the city was thriving with the harvest that Dany had brought over, and when you were strong enough to at least walk, you had witnessed the marriage of Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen, though Jon had accepted his true name as Aegon Targaryen.

With that, the two had a coronation in front of a crowd. King and Queen ruling together for a better realm, but for now, you were saying goodbye to Jon and Dany in an empty Throne Room.

“So, what will you do with Varys?” You questioned out of curiosity, “He tried to murder you, your grace, and tried to get you to betray your love.”

“He will meet his demise,” Dany spoke, her eyes sparkled towards you as a fond smile had graced her lips, “Are you sure you are well enough to travel?”

“I have enough strength to walk at least,” You nodded, “Though, I cannot wait till I can get rid of this bandaged eyepatch.”

Jon chuckles, “Well, where will you go?”

“North,” You responded as the two looked at you in confusion, “The real North.”

Jon took a moment to processed before a smile had beamed towards you, “Tormund?”

“I have enough time to think about it, and seeing you two be happy with the love of your life, I figured I shouldn’t let that escape me.”

The two had grinned, nodding with encouragement. Jon had pulled you into a tight hug before releasing slightly when he had heard you groan lightly when parting he gives you an apologetic look. You give Dany a hug as well, hers was much tender. 

“I will get a ship ready for you, it would be quicker and safer for you to get to the wall,” Dany announced as you give her a thankful look, “You deserve your happy ending.”

“Thank you,” You sincerely thanked, “You wish you two the best, I will send ravens and perhaps I may visit, the next time I come I better see more Targaryen around.”

“I cannot bear children,” The queen informed you as you give a pointed look.

“The witches can only be right for a certain of time, do not give up,” And the happy couple savours your charming smile one last time, “You deserve your happy ending.”

You had arrived at the port in the North within a week, then you rode up in a horse provided up to Castle Black. Luckily you’ve been trained from a young age to ride a horse with one hand because you seemed useless with a slung arm.

The doors had opened wide at Castle Black, you slowly trotted in as you had noticed that Tormund was leaning against the railing of the balcony overseeing his people. His back straightens when he sees you, you softly smile with furrowed eyebrows, a fond look gazed over your face as you climb off the horse. 

You see the wilding barrelling down the stairs as you move down the crowd of wildings. You meet at the end as Tormund looks at you with unreadable eyes, his large rough hand gently placed on your right cheek and his thumb stroking it ever so lightly.

“Turns out the South is full of shit-” You greeted but was cut off when he pulls you into a massive hug, you let out a small squeak of pain before he had released you, “There was one hell of a fight, you would have loved it.”

His big hands were at either side of your face, inspecting your bandaged eye. Before looking at your arm that was in a sling, he stares at you with wide eyes, he had yet to speak.

“My little wolf,” Tormund affectionately calls, he pulls you close and kisses your hair, “You’re never leaving my side again.”

You chuckled, burying yourself into his warmth, “I don’t plan to leave, my big wilding.”

He chortles as you wiggle out, there was a small whine behind Tormund, you sidestep to see your direwolf patiently waiting for you. You chuckled as you walk past Tormund, knelt down and ran your hand through his black fur.

“Hello Grimm, missed me?”

“He’s been whining for you since we left,” Tormund explains, “Just like me, he’s been missing you.”

“Sorry, I-” You paused as you looked up at Tormund, “I, just-”

“Never mind, boy, you’re here aren’t you?” Tormund questions as he stands at full height matching his gleeful smile, “Now, you have to tell me about this fight, lad, I’ll kill any more Southern cunts about your eye before we retreat back home.”

A frosty breath was released into the air in front of you as you were amused, “Worry not, my big wilding, I’ve killed all the cunts down in Kingslanding. In other news, Jon is a King.”

“Prissy,” Tormund dryly commented, “He’s fucking that dragon queen, never saw him as a King.”

“Let’s go inside, and I’ll tell all.”

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E1

Welcome back to let me watch TV 4 U (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! If you’re not a GoT-watcher or you just need a review, check out my pre-season-6-GoT primer here or you can just check out the review/recap of the last ep of season 6 here

It’s GoT season 7 y’all- WHO’S EXCITED?

As always, spoiler alert. Also, I’m introducing a new segment of this blog called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher when some seemingly unimportant or otherwise boring scenes actually do kind of matter. So watch for that. Now let’s get into it! 

Over in Frey-ville/ Riverlands...

So we open on Walder Frey (aka Argus Filch from Harry Potter) giving a toast to a bunch of his people, all of whom have to wear inexplicably weird hats that seem to serve no purpose. Off the bat we know something is up because Arya Stark, fresh from the face-swapping-assassin-training academy, definitely killed Filch in the last ep of season 6. He’s gathered up all of his hat-wearing friends and family and is like hey guys, here’s some NOT POISONED wine let’s have a toast. It’s pretty obvious it’s Arya doing a really good impersonation of Filch/ wearing his face, especially when he doesn’t even pretend to take a sip of his wine. He’s all, hey remember when we killed all those Stark people, especially the mom and the hottie son, Robb and his preggers wife? That was fun, right? And all the poisoned guys are like yep murder is fun you are correct. Then he’s like too bad you didn’t kill all the Starks cuz one is still alive and…. It’s ME BITCHES. 

And she rips off Filches’ face/body and is like SURPRISE! And because this is the season of the woman, she doesn’t let any of the poor servant girls (who were like 15 years old and all forced to marry Filch) drink any of wine but she’s like, I know this is confusing, because I was just wearing the face and body of your former husband but it’s me, a fellow 15-year old girl and please tell everyone THE NORTH REMEMBERS. (If you’ll recall the Stark fam is from the North and a bunch of them died at the red wedding which was FOREVER AGO)

Later in the ep, we catch up with Arya who is riding around on a horse like a boss when she happens upon ED SHEERAN. SERIOUSLY ED SHEERAN IS IN THIS EPISODE WHY? I DON’T KNOW. And he’s singing a song with some soldier bros, duh. And I guess they’re from the Lannister army (if you’ll recall the Lannisters are the incest twins) because they’re wearing their colors and they’re like ugh King’s Landing (where Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC is currently ruling after blowing up most of the city) is the worst. And Arya is like umm ya it sucks, last time I was there I saw my dad get his head chopped off, BUMMER. She doesn’t say that actually but she does listen to them talk about how they wished they were home with their family instead of fighting for QPC. 

WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER (WDTSEM)? This scene is pretty clearly a setup to get Arya to consider meeting up with her bro (well actually uncle) and sis in Winterfell rather than her current single-minded pursuit of killing QPC. Anyway, the strangest thing about this scene is that one of the bros is like ya my mom always said to be kind to others and they’ll be kind to you and also none of the bros say anything murder-y or even slightly assault-y for that matter toward this young girl traveling alone WHAT SHOW IS THIS? On any other season of GoT this scene would have been a literal bloodbath.

Sidenote: when the opening credits run we FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER only see Westeros rather than both sides of the globe (or is it a globe? Idk. g.r.r.r.r.r. Martin plz advise) cuz our Khween Khaleesi is no longer residing there.

Next, let’s check in up North with Bran and his pal Meera who recently narrowly escaped a zombie attack only to be rescued by his zombie-uncle.

Bran is having a vision, as he is wont to do, of the “Night King” (zombie leader guy) plus thousands of zombies marching toward the non-zombie world. Some of them are even zombie giants which is super spooky. He’s like let’s GTFO and get south of this giant ice wall so they coming a-knocking on the ice-wall-door which, if you’ll recall is manned by all those moody celibate dudes that Bae was briefly murdered by before coming back from the dead. Bae’s friend who is in charge now is like umm new phone who dis cuz IDK what “Brandon Stark” looks like but it’s probably not you. And he and his friend Meera are like we promise, we’re cool and they let them in.

WDTSEM? Bran and Meera’s next stop after passing through TSA security is probably to see his sis and bro at his home, Winterfell. Last time that poor boi was there he was paralyzed, briefly made leader, ousted, forced to watch the whole place burn down and then had to escape before he was killed. So needless to say he’ll be happy to see that it’s not only rebuilt and no longer a torture dungeon, but being ruled by his fam! AND he’s the only one who knows the truth about Bae the R+L=J theory so he needs to drop that bomb on erry’body that basically means that Bae is kind of a rightful ruler and also Khaleesi’s nephew?!?

Speaking of his home, let’s check in with Winterfell...

Bae (Jon Snow) is like wow being in charge is hard no wonder Obama turned gray lol-is-this-thing-on? And Sansa is like eye-roll and they have a little tiff in front of everyone which is EMBARRASSING. A few important things happen here: 

Bae tells everyone to dig for dragonglass cuz it’s the only way to kill the zombies. He’s like hey bois, gurls, gender-non-comforming-individuals, EVERYONE needs to get to work and dig and learn to fight

Everyone’s favorite pint-sized-ruler-of-Bear-Island, Lyanna Mormont, is all about that lyfe, as shown in gif above

Bae is like wow little kids are pretty good at being in charge so let’s put these other 2 lil’ squirts in charge over at their houses

Bae sends hottie-ginger-wildling-bae to guard part of the wall where the zombies are probably heading first. Goodbye ginger-bae. 

Sansa does not agree with the putting-kids-in-charge bit which is what they argue about but he does it anyway. They kind of makeup and then they talk about how Cersei (aka Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC) is in charge now and Sansa is like she cray but also a BAMF. 

Later we get a scene of Brienne, everyone’s fave lady-knight, training her squire how to fight and are reminded that ginger-bae has the hots for her. As Sansa watches this all play out, Littlefinger (ugh he is the WORST) comes over to tell Sansa for the 80th time that he loves her and wants to rule the world with her. And as she has done 80 times, she’s like NO THANKS DUDE. 

Speaking of Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) let’s check in on her over at King’s Landing…

QPC is ruling whatever is left of her people after she blew most of them up. She commissioned this giant map/painting on the ground and is stompin’ all around like she owns the place, which, to be fair, she does. Her twin bro/lover, Jamie, comes over and is like ummm… what’s the tea? Remember how our last living kid jumped out of a building and died last season… can we discuss? And she’s literally like yolo we gotta rule this place FOR US. And he’s like but we don’t have any heirs anymore, like who’s gonna take over after that you can’t #liveforever this ain’t the high school cafeteria in the film version of Fame. She’s like dontcha worry, I gotta plan.

So Theon’s crazy uncle shows up to see them. If you’ll recall last season, he killed his bro and then tried to become king of the wet-rock-pile by throwing up a bunch of sea water even though his niece, Theon’s sis, was totes supposed to become kween of her peeps. While he was performing his water-gagging-magic-trick, Theon and his sis ran away with a bunch of the peeps and all of the ships. Again, their entire island seemed to have about 20 people so WHO IS ON THOSE SHIPS? IDK. And he was like NBD I’ll make a bunch more ships AGAIN WHO IS BUILDING AND THEN RIDING ON THESE SHIPS IDK. So I guess the ships are built and people must be on them because they show up to QPC’s shores and she’s like whatup. Jamie is NOT HAVING IT mostly because he is jelly since Theon’s crazy uncle (TCU) is hittin on his sis. TCU manages to squeeze in a really sick burn when he’s like well at least I have 2 working hands (Jamie got one chopped off 3 seasons ago) and then he asks QPC to get with him. She’s like naw dawg so he’s like NBD I’ll be back with a “very special present” and heads off. They also banter about how his niece and nephew and Khaleesi and QPC’s other bro (Tyrion) have all teamed up and are headed that way.

WDTSEM? In the books, apparently TCU has some sort of magic horn that can call dragons? I think this might be the gift he’s going to get and bring back to QPC which would be CLUTCH because in the upcoming battle against Khaleesi, the ability to control those dragons would be really helpful.

Next, let’s see how Sam is doing over in “Oldtown” where all the maesters live...

If you’ll recall, Maesters are like doctors/librarians/historians, each of whom is assigned to either a place (like the ice wall) or a family, I guess (like the Starks). Sam wants to be one but he also is NAUGHTY and brought his gf and her bb with him (Maesters are also supposed to be celibate like the ice wall guys). He’s in maester-training-camp which includes a lot of diarrhea, apparently. He’s like cleaning bedpans, putting back library books, and doing autopsies on the reg. JIM BROADBENT aka Prof. Slughorn from HP aka Harold from Moulin Rouge shows up and is like DON’T GO IN THE RESTRICTED SECTION OF THE LIBRARY, SAM (flashes of Harry Potter, amirightladies?) so of course Sam does. He sneaks some books home and finds out that “Dragonstone” which is a castle near King’s Landing that Khaleesi is heading towards, is built on top of heaps of “dragonglass” (which, I mean, could have guessed) so he’s like I gotta tell Bae since I know bb boi is trying to stock up on that. Also, there’s a brief scene when Khaleesi’s friend who had the turning-to-stone-disease (Stoney) is like in a hospital where Sam is working and is pops his stone-hand out and is like IS SHE HERE YET? Aka Stoney wants to know if Khaleesi has made it to Dragonstone yet, which WAIT TIL THE END OF THE EPISODE, DUDE.

WDTSEM? Especially the scene with Jim Broadbent (JB) is important because he talks about how the ice wall has always held up after centuries of zombie attacks and how empires rise and fall and just like go with the flow, Sam. My guess is that they’re bringing up how strong the ice wall is and how unlikely a zombie-attack really is because this is something that may actually happen now so we can really grasp how high the stakes are nowadays.

Before we get to Khaleesi, we have to check in on “The Hound” who’s walking around with those fire-worshipping dudes these days…

Is it just me or is man-bun guy kinda hot? So he and “The Hound” come across this farm house which the Hound is having some guilt about b/c last time he was in the hood he killed the girl and her dad who lived there. They find their bodies and everyone is like IDK who killed them but ugh… that’s life. And then the fire-worshipper-guys are like here look at this fire and remember the Hound hates fire because he got half of his face burned off as a kid. But he does look at the fire and has like a premonition of zombies going around the ice wall and attacking all the living people. Then he and hottie man bun bury the dead girl and her dad outside because the Hound feels #guilty for killing them I guess?

WDTSEM? Well the Hound used to be really murder-y but then he was saved by Ian McShane and his group of like Amish people (much like Harrison Ford in the film Witness) and decided to renounce violence. He used to work for QPC’s family and then kind of kidnapped Arya but also was not the worst to her (or to her sister for that matter) so if shit’s going down he could potentially be on the Stark side of things now. 

Lastly, we check in with everyone’s fave kween and co, Khaleesi, who rolls up on Dragonstone with all her pals…

She hasn’t been to this side of the world since she was a wee babe so when she steps foot on the sand, she’s like give me a minute y’all. Then she walks into the castle and looks at the throne, which is NOT made of a bunch of swords but rather a slab of rock and is still pretty baller and walks right past it to head to the room with the giant map on it. Previously, Stannis and his friends lived there including sweet ole’ no-knuckles who is currently #teambae and he spent a lot of time strategizing and having sex with witches to produce demon babies on that table. Khaleesi looks around and then is like, let’s get it started in here #blackeyedpeas.  

WDTSEM? Well, duh, cuz Khaleesi is in it and she is basically the Beyonce of GoT. But also because she has had this single-minded pursuit on the iron throne (chair made of swords where QPC is currently sitting) so you’d think she’d like take a minute to sit on this rock-slab-throne and savor the moment, but she (unlike QPC) knows that a true kween not only sits there, but also gets shit done. And I think this scene is supposed to contrast how #woke Khaleesi is compared to QPC. Both have giant maps and thrones now, but QPC is so out of touch that she has no time for strategy or listening to other people’s advice. 

Final thoughts:

This ep was what the TV people call a “table setting” episode and it did just that. The drawback is that it was pretty boring. We just check in on all of our key players/places and see how everyone is doing which is normally quite helpful in GoT world. But the season 6 finale already did that for us, so it seems to be just an extension of that episode rather than something new and exciting. Now on to our superlatives...

Biggest surprise this ep: Sam is interning for JIM BROADBENT these days, which is pretty great. Also Ed Sheeran lives in GoT-world I guess which actually explains a lot.

Biggest letdown: We only get THREE WHOLE WORDS from Khaleesi in the entire ep!

Important fashion moments: Sansa’s new lacefront is NOT working for her. With this budget you’d think they could afford better wigs! Also, while I won’t miss the Mereen subplot, I will miss Khaleesi and co being in a warmer climate because she and her friends had some killer crop tops/ cut out dresses/ bright colors . Now that everyone is on the cold side of the world, we have much less #fashun.

Who died this ep? A bunch of Walder Frey’s main cronies

Check in next week when we’re promised someone will finally be strangling littlefinger so we may be rid of his creepy soliloquies soon! Thanks for reading tell your friends!

CORRECTION: After checking my sources, it seems like the Hound maybe didn’t kill the farmer dude and his daughter but instead stole their shit and so they were forced into the dire circumstances that led them to their death. So while it sounds like he didn’t kill them, he still feels guilty that he basically caused their deaths.

Also, I incorrectly ID’ed Bae as Khaleesi’s uncle a few times but actually she is his aunt I guess? Sorry to lead you astray! 

[narcisbolgor-blog]

Melania Trump looked happier with Barack Obama at a funeral than with Donald Trump… ever?

Former first lady Barbara Bush's funeral was held on Saturday. President Trump chose not to attend "to avoid disruptions," so his wife Melania had the freedom to do whatever the heck she pleased — and she decided to hang out with some political legends.

She laughed with Barack Obama, power posed next to Michelle, the Bush family, and the Clintons, and spent so so much time SMILING. Can you believe it? Probably not, because no one on Twitter could.

SEE ALSO: Michelle Obama shared the perfect parenting metaphor for Trump's White House

Over the course of Donald Trump's time in office people have noticed Melania hasn't always looked too happy. And yet here, at a funeral, when separated from her husband and seated beside Barack Obama, she smiles and laughs.

At the funeral for Barbara Bush today, Melania Trump sat next to guess who... Barack Obama!

After over a year in office, Melania has not smiled once in the presence of Donald Trump.

10 minutes with Obama’s, and look what happened!

Don’t retweet to @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/V4RbD85FUy

— Ed Krassenstein 💎 (@EdKrassen) April 21, 2018

Finally Melania has something to smile about. She's sitting next to Barack at Barbara Bush's funeral. pic.twitter.com/O4zAr2uQwH

— Elayne (laynie) (@LaynieR) April 21, 2018

Melania looks happier at a funeral than she has in ages. Wouldn’t you too if you went from being with Donald every day to sitting next to Barack? #barbarabushfuneral pic.twitter.com/JrnLY0MJyX

— Great Scott! 🇺🇸 (@ScottFrazier19) April 21, 2018

Y'all. Melania is actually happier with Obama at a funeral than she is with Trump at his inauguration dinner!#barbarabushfuneral pic.twitter.com/mDhGqWJjid

— ⚠Kimexander Hamilton (@YippeeKimYay) April 21, 2018

Sad it took attending a funeral without her husband to see what Melania's natural smile looks like. pic.twitter.com/fAsTkcMFKp

— JackWBower (@Trumpet1984) April 23, 2018

This is Melania and Obama sitting together today at former First Lady Barbara Bush's funeral. Have you ever, ever, EVER seen Melania smile like this, and look this relaxed, beside her own husband? Ever? pic.twitter.com/9qYLT2glIH

— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) April 21, 2018

Poor Melania. You never see her smile. Oh no, hold on... pic.twitter.com/x5oO3RymhU

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 21, 2018

add "make Melania smile" to the long list of things Obama can do that Trump can't

— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) April 21, 2018

I'm living for this Obama and Smiling Melania #meme It really is the only time we've seen her happy. pic.twitter.com/1ANjQFNK4Y

— Turi ✍🏽 (@Turi_TX) April 22, 2018

After seeing Melania and Barack come across as genuine pals, Twitter users took some time to imagine what the two were discussing. 

What an image given the tweets statements, and speeches in the past 445 days. Wonder what President Obama just said to Mrs. Trump.... pic.twitter.com/lnI0GGpX7n

— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) April 21, 2018

Many assumed they were gossiping about Donald, but others thought they were simply catching up on the latest television shows or Twitter beefs. Were there any flies on the wall?? If so, we would like to speak to you immediately. 

This is easy and fun! 😁 Write your own caption for this pic! 🖌#WriteYourOwnCaption pic.twitter.com/CxwNOTi0ff

— Jon Cooper 🌊 (@joncoopertweets) April 22, 2018

Melania: you’re one of the five people I follow on twitter

Obama: you know that upsets him

Melania: LOL yeah pic.twitter.com/I1VclKJESs

— laney (@misslaneym) April 21, 2018

Barack: Good to see you smile for a change. Melania: Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world. The disarray. I choose to see the beauty. Barack: So you watch #Westworld Melania: Not really. I tried to once. Barack: Melania: It doesn't look like anything to me. Barack: pic.twitter.com/1lUHIFxH4l

— 🌊Ryan Adams (@filmystic) April 21, 2018

Then, in case that earlier moment of pure political peace was not enough, Melania posed for a photograph with the Bush, Clinton, and Obama families like it was NBD. Why is this photograph so nice?????? What is missing? Hmm...

When you finally drop the guy everyone hates from the group chat pic.twitter.com/pytLmYd74w

— Rob Flaherty (@Rob_Flaherty) April 22, 2018

Completely transfixed by this photograph.

Desperate to know what they talk to Melania about. pic.twitter.com/razLJTv2Y8

— Hamish Macdonald (@hamishNews) April 23, 2018

A major historic moment occurred at St. Martin’s Church on Saturday when former presidents, their wives, & current first lady Melania Trump gathered to say goodbye to the former first lady Barbara Bush.

All politics aside, seeing all those people together, and smiling, is a joy! pic.twitter.com/C2zMQZp5Pb

— 🇺🇸sɪᴇʀʀᴀ·.·´¯`·.·ᴡʜɪsᴋᴇᴇ🇺🇸 (@_SierraWhiskee) April 23, 2018

I see many Democrats sharing that meme photo where Melania has never smiled as bright next to POTUS Donald Trump as she did next to Barack Obama...

... the truth is, Michelle Obama has never smiled this brightly next to Barack as she is in this photo next to Melania Trump. ;) pic.twitter.com/SNiSkofbp3

— Craig R. Brittain (R-AZ) for US Senate Staff 🆒 (@Brittain4Senate) April 22, 2018

Hopefully Melania's next fun day away from Donald won't have to be a funeral.

WATCH: Someone shaved Donald Trump into the back of their head and it's frightening AF

Original Article : HERE ; This post was curated & posted using : RealSpecific

=> *********************************************** Original Post Here: Melania Trump looked happier with Barack Obama at a funeral than with Donald Trump… ever? ************************************ =>

Melania Trump looked happier with Barack Obama at a funeral than with Donald Trump… ever? was originally posted by 11 VA Viral News

[halearp]

my poor, poor babe here… her blurb is filled with triggers, and really, i just want to hold her for like three days straight.  so just be warned when you go to read it!!!

what i need is either jon hamm, jeffrey dean morgan, mark ruffalo, or nikolaj coster-waldau for my babe lauren.  these two are engaged and tbh they are really happy together!!!  except that there’s a huge, huge portion of her life that he doesn’t know about (that no one in NOLA knows about, really) and that’s gonna cause some interesting pain and drama~~

lauren met "jon" (as i’m calling him) at the hospital — his wife was in the hospital for a large chunk of time, and she was her nurse/a nurse on her floor.  pretty much, they knew that the wife was dying, and the thing that kept her going was finding a "new partner" for her husband.  the whole thing was really awkward and almost laughable (lauren certainly laughed a bit about the whole thing behind closed doors) but it… all worked out? kinda???  after his wife passed, lauren was his shoulder to cry on and despite the "set up," it became obvious that the two actually worked really well together.  plus, the two of them had the wife’s blessing and things just kind of… transitioned smoothly.

that was probably less than a year ago???  and they’re engaged now (recently engaged, as in like a month or so maybe?).  he lives in a subdivision where his wife was a large part of the community, so everyone is kinda bitter that he’s already engaged again??  lauren makes it really obvious that going over to his house is awkward for her, because the neighbors stare, but also he’s a grown ass man with his own house that doesn’t feel like he should have to go sneak around to her apartment.  but his place is closer to the hospital that she works at and if they’re going to be married, she’s going to move in eventually, so it’s like a little bit of ~current drama of her moving her stuff in/etc.

plus, there’s the fact of the matter that he knows….. next to nothing about her (fucked up) past.  and she’s really wondering if she can marry him without telling him all about it.  and honestly, she’s so scared that he’s going to leave (for some reason) that she is practically giving herself panic attacks over not telling him…. but he’s also so in love with her that, when she does tell him, it’s gonna be like …. giant sigh of relief because he thought it was so much worse than that.

but anyways.  i need this age gap, past drama stuff in my life.  i’m so desperate for this because lauren is like….. god, i love her so much and i want to develop her and flesh her out a lot more.  so please be willing to do a lot of threads and talking and maybe some past threads from the hospital and just…. so much stuff?????

in terms of specifics of him:  i want him to be a Nice Guy.  just a great guy — loved his wife, loves his kids, potentially religious (for the fun fact that she’s an atheist), good at his job, good with people.  like this isn’t your typical kinky age gap plot??? (though they’re my favorite lmao) but…. we can figure stuff out to add more angst and fluff and smut because i want all parts of that here — literally, i want to explore all the things.

i really like the idea that he’s a doctor of some sort?  so the whole "hospital" thing is like, they’ve known each other for a while, but more in a professional sense than anything.  also, i feel like that would help him cope with the loss of his wife, because he knows what actually happened to her and can accept it.  but i’m also good with other occupations??  it just has to be something that’s at least upper middle class, and i’d prefer that it’s not something sleazy.

i would love it if the couple had kids (especially those that are playable!!!  because children!!! parents!! drama!!!!!) because stepparent things and just even more drama/things to add/etc.  because i’m trash.  obviously the age of the kids depends on the age of the playby you go with.

also make them be part of other plots — siblings, friends, etc.  i want this character to exist outside of lauren.  i would also like for this character to be a fairly ~popular person, in the sense that they know a lot of people and aren’t a hermit (weird thing to say, i know lol but i want/need lauren to come out of her shell and kind of exist around people more)

i have….. a lot of feelings and thoughts and wants with this, so please be willing to chat and i will give you all the love and things!!!!  age-wise he should be probably 42+, depending on the face you choose depends on the minimum age, but please know that i am a thousand percent okay with massive age gaps.