#*wiping spit off his face* the sacrifices i make for this team

[ceruleanheaven]

I think football players jegulus should fight a little on the field maybe even kiss

15 minutes later...

[mechwarrior-rose]

Shelter: Wolf's Jaws

UNION DROPSHIP SUMMER LIGHTNING OBERON VI ORBIT CLAN WOLF INVASION CORRIDOR 30 SEPTEMBER 3049

Femme day.

It took a while to come fully to consciousness. Shelter was far too groggy to make sense of any of her thoughts. Everything was loud and angry. She thrummed with a deep, sorrowful ache. She didn't want to wake up. If she woke up, she'd remember what made her so sad.

Eventually her audio sensors came online. It was quiet in the room. Only the soft beep from a medical monitor broke the silence. All the noise was in her head. The sounds of explosions and rending metal.

The War Griffins were dead.

Ariel. Breck. Susanna. Finch. Wallace. Liana. Both Katherines. Shelter went down the list, all twenty-four pilots of the War Griffins, primary and secondary, two for each machine. But she couldn't stop there, could she? Daisy. Chuck. Maribelle. Norton. Evelyn. On through the members of her team, then through the rest of the technicians. Then the support personnel. All almost certainly killed when the enemy had overrun the Dao Sing Plain base. Dead gods, she didn't even know some of the people in administration. She was the only one who could remember them, and she didn't... If she couldn't, then...

Her eyes burned hot. Tears flowed, soaked into bandages on the left side of her face. She lifted her arm to wipe them away and felt the weight of an IV shunt and the tug of more bandages at her shoulder. There was the ghost of agony somewhere beneath the fog as she moved. She must have been put on some serious painkillers.

Her hair. She'd shaved off all her hair.

But the War Griffins were dead. It had been an appropriate sacrifice.

The 1st Oberon Guards, too. Razor Lance had been the last operating unit of 15th Company. If Rieck and Razor Two had made it out, then they and Shelter were likely the only survivors of a massacre.

I hope Hendrik Grimm III and his pirate lordling toadies got stomped flat by a Catamarauder. If there's any justice in the universe, that'll be the end of the Grimm line. But even this thought wasn't enough to cheer her.

The hiss of a door sliding open caught her attention. Shit. She was going to have to open her eyes.

The harsh artificial lights pierced her brain at the first crack of her eyelids. Her involuntary mewl of pain choked off in her throat. A shadow moved from the door to the side of the bed, followed by others. The figures waited while Shelter adjusted to the light. When she opened her eyes, she saw three people in grey jumpsuits. One, a woman with auburn hair tied back in a tight bun, had gold pins with two red stars at each side of her collar. The other two, a tall, blonde woman with a turned-up nose and a short man who wore a short, curly mohawk and a close-trimmed beard, stood a little back. The blonde's pins bore one star each, while the brunet had only the gold squares.

"Shelter, last of his family, quiaff?" the first woman asked.

Shelter's throat clicked as she swallowed. She tried again and finally mustered enough pliability from her larynx to speak. "Last of her family for now. I'm afraid it changes by the day."

"I am Star Captain Mila. With me are Star Commander Chastity and Warrior Hawk. We are three of the warriors you faced in Friday's battle. I have claimed you as a bondsperson of Clan Wolf. From now until your bondcord is severed, you belong to me. Do you understand?"

As Mila spoke, Chastity jotted notes on a handheld compad. Hawk's face was blank. Mila, however, was stern, her brown eyes as impenetrable as ironwood.

"Dress yourselves up with whatever goofy names you like. Still sounds like slavers and pirates to me." Shelter wished she could spit. She could only muster a dry cough.

Mila watched her for a moment before replying. "You speak as though you yourself were not a pirate serving a bandit king. Or perhaps you have not heard the old saying about glass houses and stones?"

"Not a pirate," Shelter growled. "Hate pirates. I hate Grimm."

The man poured water from a small pitcher into a paper cup and set it on the overbed table that sat at the foot of the bed. He placed the control remote for the bed on the table and wheeled it closer to Shelter. She stared, but his face remained impassive. She took the controls, adjusted the bed to a seated tilt, and drank the water greedily. There were only perhaps fifty milliliters in the cup. Shelter reached for the pitcher, but the man put his hand over hers. "Slowly this time," he said, his voice expressionless but warm. He withdrew his hand, and Shelter poured. As she did, she finally noticed the cord tied around her right wrist, loosely enough not to chafe. She drank her second cup more gently, flicking her gaze between the three warriors.

When she finished, Mila spoke again. "Why serve him, then? I am told that you are not a warrior by trade, but rather a technician. What drove you to take up arms to defend pirates?" Mila kept her tone even. The tension underlying her words, however, was plain.

Shelter closed her eyes and let her head drop back against the thin pillow. "I was defending my family. The War Griffins. We're a part of the 1st Guard, but we always wanted to be free again. Used to be mercs. I wanted..." She trailed off. Her head was beginning to throb. The pain meds were wearing off.

"Mercenary service is more honorable to you than piracy, quiaff?" This must have been Chastity. Her voice bore some of the snideness that Mila suppressed.

Shelter groaned. "I don't know what 'quiaff' means. But yeah. Mercs are free to live how they want, and they don't prey on innocent lives." She rubbed the bridge of her nose with her right hand. "Shouldn't I be talking to a doctor now?"

"You are being monitored by our systems and staff. Your injuries are minor. Is there something that needs to be addressed by a physician?" Mila asked.

Shelter winced as the throbbing grew stronger. "Painkillers are wearing off. I could use another dose. Head's killing me."

"If this is the worst of the pain you suffer in the near future, count yourself very fortunate," Mila said. "These questions are a courtesy. There will be more thorough interrogations to come. If you are not a warrior, how did you learn to operate a BattleMech?"

Memories washed over Shelter. Times she was brought into the administrative offices to see where her parents worked. Times she was allowed on her own recognizance, getting into places she shouldn't have, making friends with technicians, pilots, infantry, scouts, anyone who would talk to her. Signing up at sixteen, and how her parents had railed against her decision. They'd hoped to get her out of the Confederation and back to real civilization, back to the Lyran Commonwealth, where she could have a better life. Well, what if she wanted to make sure everyone got out? What if she wanted to save all of the War Griffins, not just one kid from a white-collar family pulling military paychecks?

Her first real boyfriend, a pilot who encouraged her to try out as a MechWarrior. Her first real girlfriend, a 15th Company scout who taught her how to handle sensor equipment and pentaglycerin. The qualifying trials to put her on the waiting list for an alternate pilot slot. She'd done her share of cross-training them, too. Showed them how to splice myomer, use a tech's diagnostic computer, reorient the factory wire harnesses on the Neil 6000 comms units from Defiance Industries because they always came in misassembled and would shake loose after a month and sometimes snap the soldering.

"I made friends," she said.

"Perhaps the caste mobility the other bondsfolk spoke of," Chastity murmured to Mila. "Within their touman, they have fewer barriers between warriors and the lower castes that serve them."

Shelter looked at her, winced again at the light. "Don't mistake us for the Dracs or the Capellans. We don't have castes." Not officially. But Grimm's attempts to legitimize the Oberon Confederation were more about appearances than equity. There were still haves and have-nots, and some of the haves sat on thrones while some of the have-nots performed forced labor in penal camps to which they'd been sentenced by corrupt magistrates.

Mila pursed her lips as she turned Shelter's words over. "You claim there are no castes, and that you, a technician, were trained in warrior's ways and equipment by warrior friends? This is common?"

"I don't know if I'd call it common. But I can't be the only one. I mean, you couldn't get that kind of cross-training if you were a civilian, but I was a corporal in the service. Signed up at the first chance I got."

"To convince your unit to desert the pirates and become mercenaries," Mila said. This time she couldn't keep the hint of a sneer off her face.

Shelter scowled. "To work to free my family, the company that raised me, from service to a tyrant whose grandpa turned coat from the Lyrans, went pirate, and forced the War Griffins to join his army."

Mila opened her mouth, but Shelter pressed on. "And now you've killed what's left of my family, and you're saying I'm your slave. So as far as I'm concerned, you're no better than Hendrik Grimm. In fact, you're lower than pirate scum like him."

The light exploded into fragments, and the room tilted. Something impacted Shelter's ribs. It took a few moments for her to realize that there hadn't been an explosion--she'd simply been struck by the back of Mila's hand. The force of it had flung her against the overbed table, which was now on its side in a pool of spilled water. The Star Captain was saying something, but Shelter's ears were ringing too loudly for her to make it out.

The three warriors filed toward the door. Star Captain Mila stopped, knelt by the fallen table, and picked up the remote. She snapped at Shelter's face to get her attention. "This is how you call a medtech." She stabbed the red button at the top of the remote, then tossed it harshly against Shelter's chest. The new bruise on her ribs screamed in protest.

Shelter slumped against the bed rail and wept as the Wolves left the room.

[samstree]

The One with the Coastal Customs

Geraskier, 1.8k, Fluff, Crack, Secret Relationship, Kaer Morons at their best, humor, Jaskier takes one for the team

Inspired by Friends. Read on AO3

Breakfast at Kaer Morhen is full of chatter as always. With Ciri and Yennefer joining them a few days ago, loud arguing and laughter always fill those once empty halls.

Jaskier picks at the rye bread on his plate, not paying attention to Lambert’s clearly exaggerated monster story, though Ciri seems completely entranced, prompting him to go on with anticipation.

His mind is still full of last night’s visage of Geralt pressing him against the wooden door and kissing him senseless. The witcher had to come to his bedroom after everyone else turned in so no one noticed. After the whole mountain incident last year and Geralt’s following apology, they thought it wise to keep their blooming relationship in secret for a while.

Let’s not tell everyone in a rush. Geralt was the one who proposed the secrecy. Whatever we have here is ours, Jask. I don’t want them to interfere or mess it up. You are too important to me, He said. Besides, what could go wrong?

Jaskier, at the time, agreed to it whole-heartedly. The witcher was so sincere that day, his golden eyes flowing with adoration and vulnerability that Jaskier could not deny him anything.

Despite some inconveniences, Jaskier has to admit it does make things excitingly hot. He almost feels like a naughty student sneaking out of class to make out with a lover again.

Jaskier’s hand comes up to touch the skin on his neck, the same spot where Geralt nibbed and sucked gently last night and left him a sobbing mess. Next to him, Geralt catches his motion with a look before a faint smile quirks up the corner of his mouth.

“Grape juice?” the witcher passes him the pitcher with the most unaffected tone in the world but his other hand travels up Jaskier’s thigh teasingly.

He has to choke in a gasp.

“…and bam! The third wyvern drops dead.” Lambert ends the story proudly, “And that’s why I’m the best witcher at this table. You have a lot to learn from me, princess.”

Ciri giggles as Geralt and Eskel chime in to call out all the lies in that tale. The room erupts in jabs and loud arguments.

Yennefer is the only one who remains silent throughout the whole meal. Her violet gaze only falls on Jaskier once, piercing with intent, before looking away like nothing happened. Even though their exchanges are a lot more amicable these days, the sorceress tends not to acknowledge Jaskier’s existence very often.

From the corner of his eyes, Jaskier sees Vesemir leave for the library. The older witcher still has work for him to finish today.

“Right, duty calls.” With a screech of chair, Jaskier stands so he can leave too. “I’ll see you later.”

He rests his hand on Geralt’s shoulder and leans in for a kiss. Geralt’s lips taste like the sweetness of grape juice and Jaskier revels in it for a moment before pulling away.

Everyone at the table is staring at him.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Jaskier freezes on the spot, a million thoughts going through his mind. Is it time to announce it to the world? They are ready for everyone to know and get involved, aren’t they?

But with one look at Geralt, he abandons the thought. The witcher has gone pale, and stiff as a statue. Panic starts to creep into those beautiful honey eyes, so subtly anyone else would have missed it.

Geralt is not ready.

Jaskier swallows. Well, there’s nothing to it.

He turns to Eskel, who’s holding a spoon mid-air and studying him with confused surprise.

“Eskel. See you later too.” He cups the older witcher’s jaw and presses their lips together. Eskel, the sweet man, even holds on to his wrist by reflex. He ends it with a pop before going around the table, careful not to trip over a chair.

Lambert can only be described as dumbfounded when Jaskier leans in, and incredulous afterwards.

“Have a nice day, Lamb.”

Yennefer looks at him with the same scrutiny. Wait, why is she looking smug? Fuck, the mage is looking scarier than the day they met. This one he might regret the most later.

“My favorite witch. It’s so good to have you here.” Jaskier opens his arms dramatically before going in, the familiar lilac and gooseberries filling his senses. Oh, her lips are so much softer.

When he stands to straighten his doublet, the whole table is still looking at him in silence. Geralt is tense as a statue while Lambert’s mouth hangs slightly open.

“Right.” He pats Ciri on the back and runs away from the scene, keeping his footsteps as steady as possible.

 *

Ciri is the first one to break the silence.

“What the hell just happened?”

“Language.” Yennefer berates her, seemingly unfazed.

Geralt swallows a lump. If Jaskier is willing to go such length to keep the promise, he can try to look inconspicuous for a moment.

A blush is creeping up on Lambert’s face, but he tries to hide it with biting words. “Geralt, what the fuck is wrong with you bard?”

“Watch your language too.” Eskel’s voice is steady with amusement. “Why do you mind it so much anyway? He’s being friendly. It was nice.”

If Eskel wipes his lips casually with a pleased look, nobody mentions it.

“In what world is that friendly?” Lambert scowls.

“It’s –” Geralt clears his throat, “He went to the coast last year. In the south. Must have picked up some local customs. That’s…um…how they greet each other. In the south.”

Lambert stares at him. “Doesn’t feel southern to me.”

Geralt gulps down all the juice in his cup. When he puts it down, Yennefer is studying him like a predator might a prey.

“Interesting custom.” Her violet eyes sparkle with curiosity.

Geralt has never been more grateful for his witcher trials for allowing him to remain calm under extreme pressure. His heart still beats slowly without revealing anything.

They are fine as long as it doesn’t happen again.

 *

It happens again.

Jaskier sucks at Geralt’s lips with heated passion, drawing a soft moan out of the witcher. Neither of them pays any attention to the flurries of snow falling into the empty courtyard around them.

“I’ve missed you today.” He moves down to Geralt’s jawline, and then his neck. “Where’d you go?”

“Had to repair the wall at the back, or the whole keep crumbles.”

“Hmm. Should have let it.”

Jaskier captures those lips again just when he hears people entering the courtyard, and pushes Geralt away with force.

It’s too late.

Eskel and Lambert stare quizzically at Jaskier, their training swords in hand. Behind him, Ciri is also in full gears, ready for lessons. The way she tilts her head in bewilderment is such a spitting image of her dad.

“Well.” Jaskier pats Geralt on the bicep. “Thanks for helping me clean the stable. That’s…nice of you.”

Roach snorts in the stable behind them.

He walks towards Eskel and kisses him again, and then Lambert. Boy he’s just noticing how tall the younger witcher is. Jaskier has to tiptoe a little bit. “I’ll be off then.”

When he passes Ciri, the girl just moves out of the way like he’s the plague. “See you, uncle Jask!”

Jaskier nods at her, carrying himself as naturally as possible, and enters the building.

 *

The gwent is going great. It seems that Geralt is going to win again.

Jaskier yawns. He’ll never see the appeal of the game, so he just reaches over Lambert to grab the lute. Maybe a little practice will be good–

“Okay, bard. You need to cut it off.” Lambert stops Jaskier’s motion with a hand on his chest.

Jaskier blinks.

“I don’t care whatever–” Lambert gestures around Jaskier’s whole being. “– coastal customs you picked up from the south. It’s not…how we do things around here. We are not in the south and it’s fucking weird. So quit it.”

“Okay?” He blinks again.

“I know you like witchers more than the average man out there,” Eskel adds, “and you want to show us. I appreciate it, Jaskier, but it might not make us the most comfortable.”

“What now?” Jaskier looks around the room. Yennefer and Ciri are sitting by the fire with some magic book spread out between their knees, watching the situation unfold.

“Quit the kissing, bard.” Lambert scowls.

Eskel smiles politely. “Yeah, it’s best if you did.”

Oh.

Jaskier can see the two witchers are clearly not at ease. Lambert’s face is a ripe tomato and Eskel is acting way too formal with all the niceties.

“Okay. Of course.” Jaskier raises his hands in defeat. “I will stop assaulting you with the overly familiar foreign customs. Message received.”

“Thank the gods. It was disgusting.” Geralt deadpans.

Jaskier looks into those golden eyes he loves so much and wonders if he can express ‘I’m gonna put a pillow over your face tonight’ with a neural glare. The bastard only raises an eyebrow in challenge.

“If you do need to let it out somehow, Jaskier, maybe your friends at that fancy academy of yours are open to it.” Yennefer says, chill as the winter sky, “Or some of your lovers.”

Maybe Jaskier’s eyes are deceiving him, but he swears the sorceress glanced in Geralt’s direction when she said ‘lovers’.

The ladies resume their discussion about spells and magic, and the gwent game continues. Geralt does end up winning.

Jaskier plucks his lute, imagining a million ways for his witcher to make it up to him later.

Oh the sacrifices he has to make for this ridiculous man.

 *

“The sacrifices I have to make for you, my dear.” Jaskier rests his head on Geralt’s shoulder, cuddling up to his witcher’s warm body.

“What sacrifice? I thought you were enjoying it.”

“They are quite good kissers though, especially–” He cuts himself off. It’s best not to discuss your lover’s brothers that way, or ex-lover, for that matter.

“Then what are you moaning about?”

“But my reputation!” Jaskier protests, “My name will be tarnished forever. Jaskier – barker and molester of witchers. None of you will ever let me sing your heroism anymore.”

“Hmm. Don’t you forget about Yen.” Geralt’s voice rumbles deep in his chest.

“Oh yeah. I’m surprised she didn’t turn me into a toad on the spot.” He plays with Geralt’s long hair. “By the way – I just have this inking – do you think, perhaps, Yennefer might know? About us?”

“Oh she knows.”

Jaskier bolts upright, looking at Geralt incredulously.

“Since when?”

“The day she arrived?” Geralt guesses, “I’m sure she took one look at us and figured it out. It’s not my fault she’s so smart–”

Jaskier picks up a pillow and throws it at Geralt’s smug face.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

Geralt finally breaks out laughing. He catches the bard’s feral attack and pins him into the mattress. Jaskier’s angry little pout is too adorable Geralt has to kiss it away. Uninterrupted this time.

“Is it worth it though? All the sacrifices?” Geralt's breath ghosts over the skin at Jaskier's throat.

The bard only glares at him for a moment, before letting out a sigh long-sufferingly.

“For you, my dear. Always.” He pecks Geralt’s soft lips one more time. “As long as no one turns me into a toad.”

[snickiebear]

Hello, snickiebear! Congratulations on your 200 followers! If you have the time, would you mind writing Shisui x Sakura in a nonmass au? I’m actually curious about your take on a time travel scenario with this pairing, but I also understand that a lot of works have been written on time travel already, so it’s still awesome if you don’t do the time travel part!

Congratulations again and thanks for taking the time to read this ask! Your works are really enjoyable to read. Thank you so much for writing and for doing this 200-follower event!

hello lovely anon!!! thank YOU for reading and requesting!!!! this one was so much fun to write! you ask for time travel + nonmass + shisaku? i am helpless to deliver!! this is a bit more angsty than i wanted but are we surprised? (nope, not at all lmao) this is also now on AO3 bc i really liked it!

also, apologies that this took a bit!! lifes been a real fuckin bitch and the wall of writer's block hit me like a train AHAHAHA but i hope you like this one!!! :)))

The sky is sunny and the spring beautiful when the sky splits itself in half with a brillant, blinding flash of light.

Shisui, masked and riding the after mission high, can only stare as a body plummets from that crack, limp and silent.

It is as if the heavens have spit out what they have deemed unworthy.

Or perhaps, the heavens are dropping a gift on their doorstep.

Either way, Shisui is moving before he knows what is happening, catching that body— a woman with shaven pink hair— and holding her close, head tucked under his chin.

She’s breathing, chest rising and lowering feebly.

Shisui catches his breath as the fracture within the sky closes and only then does he notice the mask.

Porcelain and painted. A combination of a snake and fox, a wolf and slug.

His ANBU team materializes next to him, Dog-taicho’s chakra going from lazy to alert at the sight of the woman. “That’s…”

“Yeah.” Shisui says hoarsely. “She- she needs medical attention. I think.” There is a lot of blood, she’s dripping in it. But he can’t see where she’s bleeding from… or if all that blood is even hers.

“Let’s go.” Dog-taicho cuts through his thoughts, voice hard and a bit panicked. Afterall, Kakashi owes his life to this woman, they all did.

Team Ro blurred out of existence in their race to Kohona, their Savior clutched within his arms.

.

.

.

It's funny, really. When she looks back, as she so often does now, it's laughable. The fact that Haruno Sakura, the civilian born, the nobody, the weak one of Team 7 is the only one left.

Sakura was the only one left in the war against Kaguya and she had done what she has always done; what was needed.

So, Sakura was the only one left and she figured out what was left of Naruto’s seals and shot herself through time to fix everything, to save everyone. To take down Danzo, Hanzo, Madara, to save Sai, the Uchihas, Kakashi.

She was the one to heal Obito, to save Rin, to make sure that Itachi’s hands would never be stained with his family’s blood.

And now, now she sits in a T&I room and she laughs, laughs herself hoarse because she succeeded, she won. And now she is in the future, her intended destination, but it is not the same.

In this future, Haruno Sakura does not exist. She is nothing and no one.

Naruto and Sasuke are alive and well and happy. They get to live the lives they could have only dreamed about.

And Sakura. She doesn’t exist.

She laughs herself hoarse, the laughs turning into broken sobs and she drops her forehead to the table, hiccuping and clenching her hands into blood inducing fists.

Alone. As she always has been.

The door creaks open and Ibiki steps in, a folder in hand.

Sakura’s head snaps up, wiping her face as she almost sighs in relief. She loved (loves?) Ibiki, he once was one of her closest friends near the end. She knows Ibiki, trusts him. Or, at least, she had.

Sakura straightens in her chair, careful of the chakra suppressing handcuffs that really do nothing for her, just acting as a hindrance. But, she does not remove them because she is not a threat to Konoha, she never has been, never intends to be.

Ibiki sits down in front of her, eyeing her carefully and it almost feels like coming home. “You say your name is Haruno Sakura.”

“Yes.” She rasps, licking her cracked and bleeding lips. “That’s right.”

Her eyes flit to the glass window, ignoring her own reflection as she narrows her eyes at whoever is behind the wall. An unknown chakra signature, wild and worried. And— and—

Kakashi.

His cool and lazy chakra, almost like a current of electricity. She would know that chakra any where, as if it is engrained deep in her bones. And right now he’s interested, almost antsy.

Swallowing, Sakura looks back to Ibiki, who had been watching her keenly. “You already had Inoichi-san do a mind walk. You know everything I do.” Shoulders back, chin tilted, spine steeled.

The dead man that sits in front of her hums and opens a folder, “We believe you—”

“It is not a matter of believing.” Sakura snaps, eyes flashing. “You know it is a fact. He saw, he showed you, you saw. How could I ever make something like that up?”

“What we know,” Ibiki says too calmly, too pleasantly, “Is that you are severely traumatized.”

And Sakura well, she laughs again. Because. Because what else is she supposed to do? She gives and gives and gives and is given nothing back.

There are no fruits for her labor, no reward for her sacrifice.

Shoulders shaking as she cries and laughs, scrubbing at her face. “We were friends, you know.” She manages. “I made you laugh twice, once after I lost my middle finger,” Sakura holds up her hand to show him, unsure of why she is even talking. “The second when you were dying in my arms.”

Silence rings out as Sakura gathers herself, swallowing harshly. Ibiki is still looking at her, but the way is no longer cynical, no longer studying.

“Haruno—”

“Just Sakura,” She says wearily.

“Sakura-san,” He continues, “When you were brought in you had a mask on. A mask that has been seen countless times saving Konoha shinobi.”

Sakura does not dare mention the fact that she has also interfered with Suna, giving Gaara the childhood he deserves. And with Mist, cutting the head off the snake quickly enough that the caste system would never truly solidify.

So, she nods. “I am aware.”

“And you claim you are the person behind the mask on every occasion.”

Sighing, she runs a hand over what is left of her hair and makes direct eye contact with her once friend, giving a curt nod, “I am the person behind the mask.”

“One last question, Sakura-san.” Ibiki murmurs, jotting something down in his folder. Sakura forces herself not to read the familiar writing. Though, she is well equipped to read upside down. “How did you come to possess the rinnegan?”

The air drops from mildly uncomfortable to freezing and Sakura does not balk at the question. “You saw it for yourself, Ibiki. It was a gift.”

“Yes, but from who?”

Her heart aches, squeezes at the thought of Naruto, of Sasuke, phantom pains. It is as if she has lost a limb, a piece of her heart when they had turned to ash between her fingers. But Sakura does not waver as she says, “It was a parting gift from Uchiha Sasuke before he died.”

The unknown chakra behind the wall erupts into a mess of emotions while Kakashi’s is mildly surprised if not wary. There is tension between the both of them though.

Which is incredibly amusing considering it wasn’t until much, much later did Kakashi ever see anything to be wary about in her.

(It took her flicking the ground and allowing it to split open and swallow any of their pursuers to convince him that she could very well tear him in half without a second thought.

She wouldn’t though. Team 7 and its members will always be a soft and deeply bruised spot for her. A wound she could never quite heal. Sakura cannot remember a time when she has ever been bruiseless. She has come to terms with being wounded.)

Ibiki closes the folder and taps it on the steel table between them, he motions over his shoulder and the door opens swiftly, revealing Kakashi and another Uchiha with curly hair.

He’s just as she remembers him, except not. Her Kakashi had slouched, had a certain energy about him.

This one, he looks the same, has the scar, the slight slouch. But it is clear that ghosts no longer beat on his back, the world's weight no longer bends him to its will.

Pain races through her heart, echoing physically throughout her body. It hurts. It shouldn’t, seeing her old sensei, her once friend, happy. But it does.

Because while she cannot live without Team 7, it is clear Team 7 can live without her.

She straightens, eyes sharp and body tense as Ibiki stands, chair scraping harshly against the floor and then takes her hands into his, calluses and scars scraping against each other.

Sakura could only imagine what Tsunade-shishou would say if she were to see her, riddled with scars and missing fingers. She could have healed them without a second thought, but chakra had been precious then. Every single ounce had been poured into keeping her precious people safe and herself alive enough to keep fighting.

Her once friend produces a key and unlocks the handcuffs, letting them drop heavily into his awaiting hands before standing up, “Sakura-san, this is Hatake Kakashi,” Her former teacher gives her a hard once over. “And Uchiha Shisui.”

Her skin itches and crawls at Kakashi’s look, cold and unfond, nothing like how she remembers him. And of course, of course he wouldn’t be the man who she had come to adore. He is someone else in this carefully constructed future of her own doing.

The blame, as always, rests upon her weakening shoulders. Sakura is crumbling, her sanity chipping away ever so slowly. It is laughable, really. She wants to throw her head back and howl, she wants to bow and allow herself to scream.

But, if she were to begin to scream, she is not sure she would be able to stop.

So, she gives a curt nod, “Hatake-san. Uchiha-san.”

“Shisui, and therefore the Uchiha, have volunteered to bring you into their custody.” Ibiki goes on, taking a step back. Sakura stays where she is, rooted.

A chill runs up her spine and she looks to Ibiki almost pleadingly. “And you can’t simply dump me into ANBU instead?”

“Mah, Sakura-san.” Kakashi drawls and Sakura’s will cracks. (That bruise will never quite heal.) “I can promise that the Uchiha aren’t as bad as they seem.”

Shisui smiles and it is unlike any smile she has seen before.

She cannot remember the last time she had seen a smile.

“Don’t listen to the old man, Sakura-san.” Shisui says and she’s caught off guard at how friendly he sounds, deep and welcoming. Sakura swallows harshly. “We’re a bunch of assholes but no harm will come to you, we can promise that.”

Uchiha men, she thinks with distaste, will always hold a knife to her heart. And they will always know how to twist the wretched blade to get her to bend for them.

But. But perhaps Sakura could bend, bend and lay and rest. Just once. And this time she'll bend for herself. Perhaps.

She finds herself nodding, hands shaking despite the steel in her spine, her shoulders still straight. “You’re going to just let me go.”

Ibiki gives her a hard look and Sakura’s lips twitch. Ah, of course not. The Uchiha compound is just a glorified prison. Then again, it is much better than anything she thought would happen.

Then again, Saura never thought this would happen.

Too desperate, too blind with the possibility of a chance to see them again, to be whole again. She, for all her brains, all her genius, had not even stopped to think of the possibility that her future would no longer exist.

It is laughable, really.

So she laughs, she clutches her stomach and laughs because what else can she do?

Sakura has done what she has always done; what was needed. And once again, like every other time, there is nothing but black at the end of the tunnel. No light exists for her.

She is to blame for her own destruction, her own crumbling.

.

.

.

“You can come out,” Sakura’s voice calls out and Shisui grins.

He steps from the shadows, two mugs in hand as he comes to sit next to her, offering her the drink. She takes it without hesitation but swirls it before sipping from it, Shisui watches as her eyes light up just a little bit.

Hot cocoa with peanut butter. He had noticed, the last time the clan had it, that she’d snuck four mugs worth.

If Sakura was surprised he noticed, she didn’t show it. She was like that, a one way mirror, giving nothing away even as she saw everything.

“Did you want something, Shisui-san?” She twitches as he scoots a little closer, the fireflies floating around the backyard. “Or did you just want some company?”

Shisui smiles boyishly, tilting his head back to look at her, “Heard that Minato-sama called you into the Hokage’s office again.”

“You mean you heard from Genma, who told Itachi while on their date, who then told you that the Hokage summoned me for the fourth time this week.” Sakura snorts, taking a long drink from her mug. There's a little foam on her upper lip that he fights to not wipe away. “He and his wife keep trying to convince me to let them look at the seals I used.”

Shisui pauses, eyes trained on Sakura as she looks to the sky, head leaning back. Her hair has grown out a little, more fuzz on her head than anything, she looks more alive, well fed. Deep bags under her one visible eye, three nasty scars dissect her face and the rest of her body isn’t any better.

She is the most beautiful, most terrifying, most devastating thing he has ever seen.

“The seals you used…”

“To go back and hop through time like a jack rabbit to save the entire world?” She asks, a wry smile on her face. “Yes, Shisui, those seals.”

He hums, leaning back on the heels on her hands, “Why don’t you just let them look?”

“They aren’t my seals to share.” Sakura half snaps, shoulders curling in, her body strung tight. “Naru— my friend was the one to draw them out, I just figured out the last bit of it. Plus, there is no reason why they need to see those seals.” Her tone sharp, unyielding almost pleading.

Shisui stays quiet until Sakura begins to slowly relax. She gets like this sometimes, tense and defensive. As if trying to convince herself rather than him of her deeds. He knew better than to push, he knew that she had gone through more than anyone would ever go through.

The way Ibiki and Inoichi look at her with the utmost respect can verify that. The way Kakashi and Rin and Obito have gone out of their way to greet her, to help her speaks volumes.

He takes a drink from his mug, studying the stars winking above them. “Hey Sakura,”

“Yes?” She sounds oh so weary. His very soul aches.

“Thank you, for everything.” He doesn’t dare look at her, barely hearing himself over the pounding of his heart. “You don’t talk much about what happened but I know, I can tell that it was horrible. And thank you for saving us, the world.”

She had lost everything, everyone. In that future that she had protected them from Sasuke died, Itachi died, he was dead. He could only imagine what the ruins of that world looked like. He could only imagine what Sakura had to do to survive.

Sakura’s fingers are cold, freezing as they brushes the back of his hand. Shisui fights a shiver, the trail of goosebumps, the thrill. “Oh, oh Shisui.” Her voice is heartbreaking and full of nothing but steel. “I would never allow anyone to endure that. You will never have to endure that, I made sure of it. Never. No one will. I promise.”

Her hand draws back as she brings her knees to her chest, eyes far away and breathes quick. And Shisui, he doesn’t know what comes over him as he scoots even closer and carefully wraps his arm around her strong shoulders, drawing her closer.

And. And Sakura, she allows it. She moves to his side, not quite leaning but touching.

“Are you happy here?” Shisui finds himself asking after long minutes of silence. Sakura’s breath evened out and she sits with her chin on her knees.

Her eye flits to him, weighing and heavy. She looks at him and Shisui cannot help but see the age, the ancientness that has taken root. He wants to pull out the misery within her, wants to hold her tight enough that she will never fall apart without somewhere there to catch the pieces.

He wants to love her, he wants her to let him love her.

“No.” Sakura whispers, as if her unhappiness in a world that does not know her, that has done nothing for her is such an awful, wretched thing. “I miss everyone.”

Shisui cannot say anything so he does what he does best; what he wants.

He stays with her, arm resting on her shoulders and slowly, Sakura allows herself to lean into his side.

Around them, the night settles and the crickets chirp. The heavens had nothing to do with Haruno Sakura, with their Savior, coming to them. No, Sakura is the catalyst of this, of this paradise they now all reside in.

If anything, she is the heavens themselves. And it is about time someone tells her that, shows her that.

.

.

.

Sakura sees them for the first time in the five months she has landed in this new future. Itachi invited her to meet his genin team. Itachi, the man who had once been a mass murderer, is now a mednin and a jounin sensei.

Shisui joins her because of course he does, he has been the one constant throughout this entire ordeal. The Uchihas are nothing like she thought they would be. The Uchihas are everything she hoped they would.

They are loving, friendly, welcoming, and thankful. Mikoto is nothing but heaven sent sunshine and cloud soft embraces, Fukago is nothing but a deep rumbling laugh and fond looks.

No one is the same, nothing is the same.

Shisui is there though, at her side, at her back. She trusts him, gods, she trusts him. Despite her better judgement, despite everything. Sakura trusts Shisui.

So, Shisui joins her as she takes to the roofs and to training field 7. She’s finally been cleared for the mission roster and given her jounin blues. Though, Sakura has yet to decide if she even would enjoy going on missions.

Maybe with Shisui.

But she does not think she has a taste for violence anymore, for killing. Maybe she'll spend her days with Kakashi's dogs and holed up in the libraries. Maybe she'll visit Gaara or Chojuro.

She had yet to meet Tsunade, who had been hunting for her since Minato (the bastard) had let it slip that Sakura was in possession of the rinnegan and the byakugan seal. Shisui is exceptionally good at playing discractor as Sakura flees to rock in a corner until he finds her. He's good at that, holding her, letting her breathe, allowing her to find solace within his arms and his space.

They step onto the training fields and Sakura freezes mid step to watch as Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai (oh, oh Sai. Sweet Sai, oh.) attack in perfect sync.

They’re fourteen if her math is correct.

They move smooth and swift, nonverbal communication as if they had been working like this for years. It's beautiful, really.

Something ugly claws at her heart, catching on an already scabbing part to rip open a new wound. Simply another reminder that Sakura is not needed. She never was.

It's laughable, really.

Shisui’s fingers massages the sides of her neck with his fingers, the spot where her skull and neck meet. “You’re tense.”

“They have beautiful teamwork.” She chokes out.

He looks at her, long and open, “We can go home, if you want.”

Shisui’s good at that t00, the open ended question, the way of making her not feel trapped. He's too perceptive for his own good, she has yet to tell him anything except what is on record. But, but. He knows. He knows of Kakashi, of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai. It is both a relief and a terror. “No.” She manages, curling her hands. She is Haruno Sakura. She has faced the impossible her entire life. Ghosts are nothing compared to gods.

At least, that is what she tells herself.

“I’ll be fine.” Sakura glances up at him, licking her lips. He watches the movement before his eyes flit back up hers and he offers one of her favorite smiles. The one where his dimples are visible, where she can see the small chip of his front tooth and the way his top canin is a little crooked.

Itachi calls the spar minutes later, the boys slumping onto the ground and breathing heavily. Sakura offers a small smile as Itachi nears them, waving a hand in greeting.

“Ah, Sakura-chan.” He grins, then looks to Shisui, dry amusement clear in his tone, “Shisui.”

“You’ve trained them well,” Sakura praises, watching as Naruto (oh gods, Naruto with his big blue eyes and blonde, blonde hair) pulls a limp Sasuke (a Sasuke who laughs freely, who smiles, and is loved) onto his feet, Sai huffing a chuckle from the ground.

Itachi practically beams at the praise, “They are very talented. And you would like to meet them, yes?”

Shisui’s thumb traces the bumps of her spine and Sakura is reminded that she has forged herself from the ashes of her friends, that she is borne from war and steel. She can do this. Shisui is here and she can do this. “Yes, I would love to, Itachi.”

Shisui’s hand burns through her clothes as they follow Itachi, the boys immediately catching sight and freezing at the sight of them. Sakura will never admit it out loud that she has been avoiding any and all people from her past (present? future?).

One look at Ino, whole and happy and sassy, and Sakura had almost gone insane. And then Shikamaru and Chouji, all together, all smiling. Gods, Sakura had fallen to her knees at the sight. Such grief, such loneliness—

She’s better now. She is.

“Team 7.” Itachi says, “This Haruno Sakura, and you already know Shisui.”

Silence.

Sakura shifts under the wide eyed gazes of the boys, the men she loved (loves?) with her entire being. “It is a pleasure to meet you,”

Naruto recovers first because of course he does. And he smiles at her, he smiles at her and Sakura wants to claw at her skin and cry. Shisui intertwines their hands, as if sensing that urge.

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto!” He’s fourteen and he's alive and he’s happy. He isn’t out of the village, he’s here because he has a clan, he has a family. “Is it true that you’re the Savior?”

Sasuke smacks him in the back of the head with a scowl, “Be polite, dobe.” To Sakura he offers a bow, “It is pleasure to meet you, Haruno-san. I am Uchiha Sasuke.”

Sakura’s lips twitch despite herself. Never, not once, did Sasuke ever bow to anyone. He had always been arrogant, but here? Now? It's laughable, really.

She glances to Sai and he isn’t as pale as he once was, his cheeks are full of color, his eyes brimming with life. “I am Senju Sai, Haruno-san.”

And. Sakura pauses at that. Senju Sai, huh. Perhaps she'll have to face Tsunade sooner than later. The thought added to the dread filled pool in her stomach. But. But, she could do it. Maybe.

“It is very nice to meet you all,” She croaks and then offers a very brittle smile. “And Naruto-kun,” She fights a shiver at the honorific. “That information is S class, but find me when you make jounin, hm?” And for a moment she could pretend that everything was okay and she was teasing her Naruto. Just for a moment.

Much to her amusement, all three boys pout, looking to Itachi who shrugs, “You heard Sakura, now, let’s see formation Alpha but reverse.”

The boys groan and Sakura can’t help the smile, a smile with teeth.

She can feel Shisui’s eyes on her before she even turns to look at him. Her body is shaking, Sakura realizes blankly but Shisui still holds her sweating hands, squeezing ever so slightly. “Ready to go?”

Sakura swallows, staring up at him, studying him. And oh, she is so tempted to uncover her eye, to memorize his face. “Yes. Let’s… let's go home.”

.

.

.

He wakes to warmth pressed against his chest, warm breaths against his neck. Their legs are tangled, her arm thrown over his side and brushes against the bare skin of his back. Both of them are missing their clothes, Sakura preferred being able to feel the skin on him, the brush of flesh between them.

What they have, it is something deeper than any type of physical act. No, what they have… well, Shisui can not put it to words. There are no words. There will never be words.

It is rare for Sakura to sleep soundlessly and through the entire night. Shisui kisses her forehead, above her seal, on one of the many scars of her face. She doesn’t stir except to shift ever so slightly, hugging him closer.

And if Shisui’s heart melts, no one else is there to see the absolute brilliant smile on his lips.

“Sakura,” He murmurs because if she doesn’t get up soon, she’ll miss her lunch with Ibiki (who gets very grumpy when his time with Sakura is cut short), “Sakura.”

She grumbles, limbs tensing for a moment, a single breath before melting once more. “Shisui,” Her voice is rough with sleep, the sound swirls and dances around his bones. “G’mornin’.”

Shisui laughs, a soft push of air, as Sakura leans back to peer at him, both eyes uncovered as she studies him, the look like a physical caress. “Good morning.” He whispers, kissing her forehead once again.

“What time is it?” She murmurs, eyes drooping closed.

“You’ve got about an hour before Ibiki comes knocking.” Shisui chuckles.

Sakura snorts, pulling away to stretch her arms above her head, arching her back in the way that Shisui can admire every muscle, every scar, every part of her. “Then I better get up,”

“Or, you could always stay,” Shisui cajools, to which Sakura only laughs. The sound is beautiful and full and makes his heart beat a little faster.

“The last time I canceled on Ibiki was when I had to help Itachi with his and Genma’s wedding plans, and he sent little Terror Ino after me for a week.”

Shisui cracks an even wider grin, “Well, at least you got some nice clothes out of it.”

Laughing again, Sakura leans down to kiss him, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Go on,” Shisui shoos, making a little gesture with his hand. “Have fun, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

She cups his face, thumbing the sharp of his cheek bone before leaning forward to kiss him again, "I love you." Then. "I am glad that my suffering brought me to you, that I landed here."

"I love you." He returns, barely a whisper as he brushes hair behind her ears. His heart beats for her, cracks and aches and swells. All for her. "There will never be a time that I will not love you. There will never be a time where I do not see you and see everything you are, everything you have done."

The sky is sunny and the spring beautiful as Sakura, the very heavens themselves, mouth splits into a brilliant, blinding smile.

(Sakura has crumbled and broken, she has fallen apart over and over. She has always known how to put herself together, until she couldn’t.

But Shisui, oh Shisui, he has always been readily available with glue and tape. He will always be there to hold her together with his bare hands, ready to bleed for her, with her.

She has given and given and given. He is willing to give everything back to her tenfold.

It is the very least she deserves, the very least the world can gift her. Shisui will always be willing to give more.)

[twsted-mirrors]

THE HUNT

fallen angel leona & seraph reader

    “You’re running. Your legs hurt, your wings ache, they hurt so bad, you just want to get back to base. How much longer will this go on?”

You’re an angel, quite literally sent down from the heavens, to cooperate on a mission on Earth. As one of the two commanding officers on the small team (ranked Seraphim, as marked by three sets of wings and a near-vertical halo), you co-commanded a single archangel and angel each. It was small, but that was a necessary sacrifice to keep from being recognized, should the influx of purity alert demons or fallen ones.

While your fellow Seraph scouted for the Demon King, your archangel had been assigned to investigate a casino, likely owned by a notorious aquatic demon and his lackeys. This left yourself and your simple angel idle, which neither of you enjoyed.

That’s how you ended up in a dense, misty forest, separated from your subordinate. This was exactly what your colleague scolded you about, as if they were much better in being stagnant. Aggression and enthusiasm were marked as your best traits for a reason, after all.

You huffed, carefully stepping over a mound of dirt. You were already on edge over every little noise, jumping at things like ravens flying overhead or the hum of the insects. Pathetic, what would your superiors say?

Snap! 

Oh. That wasn’t a noise like the othe--

You hit the ground hard, wings sprawling to cushion just a second too late. You swear you feel your head bounce after hitting a rock.

Quickly, you look up at the perpetrator, nose wrinkling at the stench of darkness.

It’s a fallen one. His jet black wings sprawled in an act of posturing, long, unkempt hair partially covering his face. His clothes almost seem reminiscent of home, you feel like you’ve seen those patterns before.

Then, he speaks, in a low tone, growling through his words.

“And what do we have here, a little mouse, ready for taking?”

You jump to your feet, gauntlet summoning in your hand. You can feel the sheer power coming from him, but you can’t focus on that. You just need to be able to call the others, just maybe…

“Get away from me, demon.” You respond, levelling with the worst glare you can muster.

The fallen one laughs in response. He levels you with a cocky glint in his eyes. “Now, that’s no way to treat a host. We don’t tolerate nosey little mice around here. You’re very lucky to still be alive, you know.”

He’s coming closer, and your legs freeze up. You force your knees from shaking, spreading your wings further to make yourself larger than you are. You feel your halo glow with heat.

“I said, get away from me!” You raise your gauntlet, letting the gold claws glow with your magic. 

The fallen one simply laughed. Ignoring your threat, he simply walks closer. You could see the glint in his eyes now, it was predatory, gazing on you as if you were the perfect meal, after starving for so long. Maybe you were, to him.

He pushes your arm aside, crushing your gauntlet in the process. 

The fear truly sets in then after his next words.

“...I see, that’s how it’s going to be. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good hunt.”

You pale, eyes widening. This is it. Not even a month into your mission, and you’re going to die at the hands of a fallen one. You’ll forever be a disgrace to the rank of Seraphim.

You only have one option: Run.

You scream as loud as you can, letting your voice project with magic, and throw down a ball of light. This was your only chance.

You further assess your surroundings while you run. The trees are too thick to fly above, you’d just injure the vessel and end up on the ground, on a silver platter. Anywhere you fly, he’ll easily catch up, you already hear the boom of his wings behind you.

You’re going, going, going, going… You quickly become desperate, going between running and flying, but both give you the same speed. Your legs ache, your white clothes flow behind you, the ends tattered and stained with dirt, you feel branches and thorns stab into your wings. How much longer can you go on?

He’s taunting you, always two steps behind, sometimes laughing at you as you struggle, like you’re squirming in his tightening grip.

You can’t breathe. The trees are going by too quickly. You can hear things you shouldn’t. He’s almost there.

And then you trip.

You scramble, arms flailing for purchase on the dirt, realizing your legs won’t move. He’s laughing, but you can’t see him.

Oh, God, you’re going to die.

You finally spot him, green eyes glowing as he prowls around you in a wide circle, that stupid fucking fanged smile on his face.

You vaguely register the tears flowing down your cheeks, and that your voice is hoarse from screaming for help. You can only hope that your fellow angels received the signal.

He’s stalking towards you now, all six sets of black, inky wings spread out. You register a pair of almost cat-like ears on his head, adorned with piercings, and a mangled halo sticking out of his head. 

The fallen one laughs again, mockingly. “I can’t believe that this is what the Seraphs have been reduced to after I left.”

You spit in his face. Fuck you, you’re not going down without a fight.

He growls again, wiping it off with a leather-gloved hand. “Still a bit of fight left, I see. Well, I know just how to fix that.”

He’s inching closer, your faces only inches apart now. You can see every detail. His hand reaches out, grips on your neck, tightening, more, more, you can’t breathe--

Your vision’s going dark, you feel darkness, sin, flowing through you. It hurts, it hurts so much worse than anything you’ve ever experienced. 

Then, you hear his voice, overpowering over all of the pain.

“Know the name of Leona Kingscholar, has brought a mighty little seraphim to their kn--”

You hear the all-too-familiar thud of a holy weapon striking its target, vaguely registering the voice of your colleague booming commands to your subordinates, and then soft hands are on you, so much softer than his harsh grip.

And then you’re out.

[hasereshdoneanythingwrong]

Nightmares

(As I stated earlier today, prepare for some angst. May or may not be based on a true story. Spoilers for Part 1 below. You've been warned.)

Faye awoke in a strange version of the old Chaldea. She could tell it wasn’t quite the one she’d grown to love, certain lights were off, the air was different, everything around her made her senses be reminded of home.

It was honestly strange, being around the old Chaldea Base. So much had changed that walking through here felt like old times. Simpler times, when the main goal was to prevent the Incineration of Humanity. She missed the times she had, even if they were stressful.

Faye kept walking, arriving in the old Command Room. The normally bustling room was vacant, computer terminals silent, the chairs unused. She knew this was a dream, obviously, but even still, it was eerie. Things were never this quiet, and someone was always in the Command Room. Faye quickly turned on her heel and left before the uncertainty of everything got to her. She walked and walked, eventually coming up to her old room. Inside the room was her old bed, her furniture exactly how she’d liked it, poster of Magi Mari on the wall signed by Merlin. Everything was exactly as she’d remembered it, except for one thing. In the room sat Dr Romani and Olga Marie, the previous directors. The two of them didn’t notice Faye’s entrance, continuing the conversation she’d walked in on.

Olga: It’s painful, you know, burning in Chaldeas. It never ends. I see myself dying in every second, every moment of humanity, even ones not seen.

Roman: Yes, it sounds terrible. Being removed from humanity is no fun either. Knowing I can never make it back, never see the people I called friends or family ever again. I’ll never see Mash grow up, never see the world I cared for be saved. My sacrifice was in vain.

The two were saying such terrible things. Faye’s heart hurt with every word as she stepped forward.

Faye: No, it wasn’t in vain! You saved humanity, it’s not your fault that the Crypters came back to ruin everything!

Roman turned to Faye, his face cold and emotionless. His stare drilled right through Faye as he spoke with no kindness, no care, no friendship.

Roman: You say that like anything you did mattered. All your fighting was for nothing, your servants never cared for you, Mash never cared for you. I never cared for you. Everything we worked for, my sacrifice, Olga’s death, your fight, everything you did was pointless.

He stood, his figure for once imposing to Faye.

Roman: Any other Master would have been a better choice. We should’ve just made a janitor like they planned, I don’t know why I bothered to vouch for you.

How could he say such venomous things? This wasn’t Roman, Faye knew that, but his words, his voice, they both cut deep. Hearing this, hearing the thoughts that plagued her mind constantly coming from Roman just drove the nail deeper and deeper. Olga then spoke up.

Olga: What of my death? What did you do to prevent it? Stand there and let me die? Your friend Val saved me, she made sure I didn’t burn for eternity, but you, you just watched me die. Watched as my soul was cast into Chaldeas by Lev and didn’t even stop him. What kind of Master would do such a thing?

Stop. Stop it. Stop saying these things! Faye covered her ears as Roman and Olga continued to spit their venom at her, their figures growing more and more imposing. She needed to be out, she needed to wake up from this nightmare!

Faye forced open the door to her room and ran down the hall, the voices of Roman and Olga following her. She turned the corner to a familiar purple head of hair.

Faye: Mash! Thank goodness you’re here!

Mash turned to her Master, her bright eyes full of distaste. 

Mash: Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?

Faye: M-Mash?

Mash grew in size, her figure dwarfing Faye as she began speaking in pure hate. Mash: You let me sacrifice myself, Senpai. You know I died, right? You let me die. I hate you for that. I hate you for letting me die.

Faye stumbled back, tripping and landing on her rear as tears fell from her face. Suddenly she was awake, the darkness of her room in Novum Chaldea greeting her, Eresh’s slender arm on her heart. Faye’s tears continued to fall as her breath was heavy and deep. A dream......it was just a dream.....

A nightmare more like it.

She continued to try and calm herself down without any success as Eresh stirred.

Eresh: Faye? What is it?

She sat up, her loose golden hair falling behind her as she took in the sight.

Eresh: Faye! You’re crying, what happened? Was it another nightmare?

Faye nodded, letting her tears finally flow without resistance. She began sobbing as she sat up to an embrace by Ereshkigal.

Faye: I saw Roman and Olga, Mash too. They were all saying terrible things. They blamed me, they hated me!

Eresh stroked Faye’s hair as she held her.

Eresh: You know that’s not true, it was just a dream.  Faye: it felt so real. I’d never seen Mash like that, she hated me too. I know she did.

Eresh wiped the tears from her lover’s face, planting a kiss on her forehead. Faye’s tears began to dry and her sobbing came to a stop.

Eresh: They never hated you, Mash doesn’t hate you. That was all just your mind playing tricks on you while you slept.

Faye: They were right though. Any other Master could have done better. Team A could’ve saved the world without letting Olga die, without letting Roman and Mash sacrifice themselves......

Eresh: Any other Master wouldn’t have been kind to a gloomy goddesss such as I.

Faye leaned back, taking in Eresh’s crimson orbs, truth and love shining through their depths.

Eresh: I wouldn’t have fallen in love with any other Master. You’ve done the best with what you had, and you can’t change the past, but your head is focused on the future, on your fight to save humanity. It’s a fight only you can wage, and I’ll be by your side for the entirety of it.

Faye: R-Really? You mean it?

Eresh: Of course I mean it, now go back to sleep. I’ll be here to ward off any more nightmares so you can rest easy.

Faye nodded, her eyes heavy as she lie back into bed. As she faded away, Eresh began to lightly hum, a lullaby to ward off evil dreams. Faye’s consciousness slipped away, sleep taking her as she slept through the rest of the night.

Mentions: @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @the-anime-void @armageddon25 @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong

[saxxxology]

What Lurks Beneath the Surface - 3

After Sam’s ultimate sacrifice, you struggle to cope. When he shows up after months of being gone, you’re happier than ever to see him. That is, until you realize that the love of your life is much different than you remember. 

PAIRING: Soulless!Sam x Reader WARNINGS: canon divergence (season 6), angst, suspense, violence, smut, minor dub-con, and more. NOTE: Some elements of this series are a little darker than what I usually write. Warnings are sporadic to avoid spoilers - if you feel uncomfortable it is up to you to stop reading or message me with any questions.

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Things don’t get far with Sam that night. The stress of nearly being caught by Dean is overwhelming, and you’re glad when Sam finally gets the message that you’re not as into it as you were before and lets you go to sleep. You’re not sure if he sticks around or leaves, but when you wake up, he’s sitting at the table reading the newspaper and snacking on a protein bar. The money you’d won the night before is stacked neatly next to him, and you assume he’d counted it after you’d fallen asleep. 

You text Dean asking where he wants to meet, and a few minutes later he messages you telling you to meet him at the diner down the street an hour later.

Enough time to shower. 

You stand under the warm spray for ten minutes, using the motel bar of soap to rinse off the grime from the night before. There’s one unused towel hanging on the rack, and you wrap yourself in it before pacing back into the main room. Sam barely looks up when you go to your suitcase to grab your clothes. 

“You going to meet Dean?” He asks, his eyes scanning down the newspaper. 

“Yeah.” You quickly step into your underwear and clip your bra behind your back. 

Sam turns around right when the hem of your tee shirt is safely covering your hips. “How long will you be gone?” 

You shrug and slip your jeans on. “I don’t know, maybe a couple hours. Think you can wait a bit longer?” 

Sam watches you sit on the bed to tie your shoes. “I might have found us a case. Sooner you get back the better.” 

You sign and grab your bag. “All right, I’ll update you, just stick around.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Sam stands and peeks out the window. “You called the car a piece of crap last night.” 

“Yeah…” You grab your wallet and shove it into your bag. “Sorry about that.” 

“Why?” Sam furrows his brow at you as you open the door.

Again, you shrug. “Because it kinda is.” 

The door is shut behind you before Sam can retort. 

***

You meet Dean at a small diner down the street. It’s close enough to walk, and it only takes you about ten minutes to get there. The Impala is parked out front, and when you make your way inside you spot Dean sitting in a booth near the back of the diner. He waves at you, and you quickly slide into the booth across from him, in perfect view of the parking lot. 

“So,” Dean smirks at you, a grin spreading across his face, “how’d it go last night?” 

It takes you a few seconds to realize what he’s talking about. “Oh… uneventful.” 

Dean blows a whistle though his lips. “That bad?” 

“Eh, I’ve dealt with worse.” You pick up a menu as Dean waves down a curly-haired waitress, who pours you both coffee and takes your orders in between cracks of bubblegum.   

“So… are you trying to find another place to live or are you just on the move now?” Dean sips at his coffee, watching you meticulously add cream and sugar. 

“Um… just moving around now, visiting old friends, traveling, that sort of thing.” You smile and lean back in your seat. “Why’d you leave Lisa and Ben?” 

“Because I was keeping an eye on you and then you started going all over the place.” Dean replies. “I mean, you even sold your car, I thought you loved that thing.” 

“Too small.” You say. “And it does this weird thing when the engine gets too hot and road trips were a bitch.” 

“And yet now you have a freakin’ Dodge.” Dean chuckles. “Are you with someone?” 

You shake your head a little too fast and sip your coffee to try and cover up. “No, no, I’m not with anyone… just needed a change.” 

Dean nods. “Yeah… but to answer your question, Lisa and I had a, uh… a disagreement a couple weeks ago, it got bad enough that she kicked me out, I’ve been on the road ever since, thought I’d try and catch up with you.” He leans forward, spinning his mug with his fingers. “I was thinking, maybe we should…” 

You take another long swallow of coffee. “Should what?”

“I know Sam asked us not to hunt, and we have to respect that, but maybe… maybe us being on the road together won’t be such a bad idea. I mean if you’re alone and I’m alone, maybe we could team up again, you know, like old times.” 

You swallow. You should say yes, by all accounts you should say yes. But you made a promise to stick by Sam… and if you leave him alone, there’s no telling where he’ll go or what he’ll do.

“I’ll think about it,” you say quietly, “I miss riding with you and I miss the Impala, but…” 

“You like being alone.” Dean licks his lower lip. “Well, it was worth a try.” 

The waitress sets down your food, and you dig in, only stopping to talk when both your plates are clean. You split the bill and leave a five-dollar tip on the table before walking outside. 

“Want me to drive you back?” Dean digs the keys to the Impala out of his pocket. “Come on, you can’t say no to Baby.” 

You smile, watching the sunlight glint off the roof of the Impala. “Yeah, I guess one ride wouldn’t hurt.” 

The door handle feels vaguely familiar under your palms, and as you climb into the cab you can smell the faint, sweet scent of the pine-scented spray that Dean uses to clean the vinyl seats. You trace your fingers over the material, feeling creases in the leather from years of use. 

Dean turns the key in the ignition, and you close your eyes as the classic roars to life. You don’t realize just how bad you’ve missed the Impala until Dean turns onto the main road and pushes the gas pedal, and you actually let out a laugh of pure joy. 

When he pulls into the parking lot of the motel, you don’t want to get out of the car. You feel truly at home for the first time in a long time, and when you think about it, going back to the motel, going back to Sam, you’re not entirely sure what to expect. Sure, hunting with him has been somewhat of a blast; you’ve missed the rush and danger, but going with Dean will mean that you’re closer to home than you’ve been in months. 

“Sure you don’t wanna come with me?” Dean turns the car off and looks at you. “It’s been a long time since I had someone to talk to on the road and it doesn’t look like I’m goin’ back to Lisa anytime soon.” 

You sigh and run your hands over the seat. “I don’t… I don’t know, can we meet again tonight?” 

“If you want to, yeah.” Dean gets out of the car at the same time you do and walks around the hood to pull you into one of his classic bear hugs. “Let me know when and where.” 

You give Dean a gentle hug before waving goodbye and slipping back into the motel room. Dropping your bag on the dresser, you hear the Impala pull out of the parking lot and turn to see Sam standing by the window, his arms folded. 

“How was breakfast?” 

“Good, I’m going to meet him at the bar tonight.” You reply. 

Sam walks closer to you. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“About me.” Sam looks down at you, his dark eyes almost piercing right through you. 

You shake your head, anger boiling in your gut. “No, Sam. I didn’t tell him anything. I lied to him. Again.” 

“Good.” Sam turns away from you and walks towards his duffel bag, which is lying open and half-packed on the bed. 

“Good?” You stay where you are, watching him shove clothes back into the dark green bag. “Are you kidding me? Good? Do you know what it does to me whenever I have to lie for you? I never lied to you, ever! You and Dean could bullshit each other any time you wanted, God knows you even got a couple lies past me, but I never, ever, lied to you!” You watch Sam look up at you when you raise your voice, and the look he’s giving you should scare the daylights out of you, but you don’t care. Right now, all the rage in the world is making its way up your throat, spewing out in words and brimming in your eyes. 

“I helped you through everything! I always stuck with you, I stuck with you leaving Dean and I with your dad, I stuck with you through you and Dean bitching and moaning at each other, I stuck with you through Ruby!” You spit the demon’s name like it tastes bad in your mouth. “I can’t keep lying for you. It’s making me sick!” 

Sam watches you as tears start to flow freely from your eyes. “You done?” 

You step back. “Am I done?” 

“Yeah.” Sam zips his bag up and turns to face you. “I don’t know why you care so much about it.” 

“Because you’re different!” you holler, “you’re not the Sam I remember, not at all! You’re aggressive, you’re overconfident, you’re bossy! It’s like running around with a—!”

Sam clenches his jaw and cuts you off. “I know something’s wrong with me, Y/N.” 

“Then when the hell were you thinking about addressing it?”

“I wasn’t.” Sam walks closer to you again. “I’m better now.” 

“Yeah?” You choke on your words. “At what?” 

Sam’s eyes glitter maliciously as he stares down at you, and you fight to keep yourself from slapping his hand away as he runs his thumbs under your eyes, wiping away your tears. “Everything.”

***

That night, Dean picks you up in front of the motel and drives to the same bar you and Sam had visited a couple nights ago. Once inside, you immediately make your way to the bar and order a whiskey. Dean orders the same and taps his glass against yours. 

“For Sammy.” He says, and then tosses back his drink in one go. 

“Yeah…” your voice trails off as you tip your head back, feeling the chilled liquid glide down your throat. Without thinking, you swallow the rest in two gulps. You never drink this fast; Dean used to on an almost-regular basis, but you usually take your time. The argument from earlier still has your nerves buzzing, and maybe, just this one time, you can let alcohol come to your rescue. 

Dean watches you set the empty glass on the bar, his brow furrowed slightly. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Dean, I’m fine.” 

“You’re sounding like Sam.” He watches you stare at the surface of your drink. “What’s going on?” 

You look at him, your vision blurring slightly. “Men are dicks.” You pout. 

“Whoa,” Dean raises his eyebrows, “where’d that come from?” 

“Well…” you shrug, “not all of them, just one.” 

“Yeah? Which one?” Dean looks a little more interested when you tip your glass back, swallowing the rest of it. 

“My friend.” You spin the empty glass on the mahogany wood counter in front of you. 

“Oh.” Dean waves down the bartender, who sets a second glass of whiskey in front of him. “Your friend from last night? The uneventful one?” 

You nod, biting your lower lip. “We got in a fight.” 

“Yeesh.” Dean frowns. “How bad?”

“Bad enough that I wanna drink.” 

Dean puts a hand on your shoulder and gently rubs back and forth. “We should at least order something to eat.” He looks around before getting up and walking over to a dining area. “I’ll get us something to split.” 

You feel the buzz of the alcohol getting stronger, and you watch Dean leave, turning your head on the countertop in order to see him properly. After a few minutes of watching him stand behind a group of women who look over their shoulders at him, blushing furiously, you straighten up and swirl the last few drops of your whiskey in the glass before tipping it back. 

“Hey, cutie.” A loud, rough voice echoes in your ear, and you jump, nearly dropping your glass. A large ape of a man is towering over your chair his eyes not on your face, but staring right down the slight cleavage that’s visible at the top of your flannel. You ignore him and turn back to your now empty glass. 

“Hey.” The man sounds slightly ticked off now, and you raise your eyebrows. The man doesn’t scare you, regardless of whether or not he’s even trying to. 

“Can I help you?”

“You’re cute. I noticed.” The man holds out a large, thick-fingered hand. “I’m Angelo. And you…?”

“Spoken for, nice to meet you.” You don’t make a move to touch him as Dean comes back to the table, evidently worried that you could be in trouble. “Oh, hey, babe.” 

Without warning, you grab him by the lapels of his jacket and pull him close, your lips landing softly on his. Dean’s surprised, but goes along with it, moving to stand between your legs as you swivel on the barstool.

“Heya, sweetheart.” He glances at Angelo, who clearly doesn’t have an ounce of the confidence that Dean carries. “Who’s this?”

“Just a new friend.” You turn back to Angelo and offer him a smile that says you tried, douchebag. “Come on, babe, let’s go.” You take Dean’s few hand in your own and walk out the door with him. 

Once you’re safely outside, Dean pulls his hand out of yours, instead wrapping it around your shoulders. You’re surprisingly steady on your feet, but you’re not wearing a jacket and the night is colder than ever. 

“What the hell was that?” Dean walks around to his side of the Impala, you close behind. Before he can open the door, you’re pulling him around to face you and pinning him to the side of the car. You catch a flash of his green eyes in the streetlight before your lips are on his again, and he groans in surprise, his mouth going slack as you pull back, breaking the kiss. “Y/N…” 

“What?” You lean back, getting a better view of his face. His pupils are wide and the green irises are darkening with every second. 

Dean bites his lower lip before reaching behind him to open the door. “Get in. Now.” 

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[t4tlawlight]

Intimacy versus isolation is the sixth stage of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during young adulthood between the ages of approximately 18 to 40 yrs.

During this period, the major conflict centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. We begin to share ourselves more intimately with others. We explore relationships leading toward longer-term commitments with someone other than a family member.

Successful completion of this stage can result in happy relationships and a sense of commitment, safety, and care within a relationship. Avoiding intimacy, fearing commitment and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and sometimes depression. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of love.

– “ Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development”

...if we want the rewards of being loved, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

– “I Know What You Think of Me”  

this post is the second in a series about the tv drama! if you haven’t read the first part, you don’t have the full picture! read it HERE

this post is going to focus on L, and namely the way his relationships forge him into a better person across the span of the tv drama, and then it’s going to close off the cliffhanger on the previous post!

at the beginning of the series, the L we meet is decidedly not a good person. he’s not moralistic in the slightest, and we see him perform some pretty ghastly human rights violations across the series. he loves to say he's “just” and that the people he’s fighting against are evil, to the point that where soichiro questions him, he denies kira’s humanity by comparing him to a demon or devil:

Soichiro: You’ve gone too far. L: You shouldn’t think of Kira as human. He’s the devil.

-- Episode 1

[photo: a close up shot of L. we see him from the shoulders up, wearing his usual white ensemble, dark hair a mess. he is looking up at something above the camera. he is saying, "This Kira is a devil stained in greed."]

-- Episode 6

he’s very much like light in that regard. but he believes he has a right to spit in the face of basic human rights because the ends justify the means and that makes him, specifically, justified to do whatever he wants.

Matsuda: Sir, L just confirmed Kira’s existence and where he’s hiding in one fell swoop. Aizawa: Matsuda! Mogi: Pipe down. You saw that he sacrificed the life of a man to do it, even if he was scheduled to die. He’s doing the same thing Kira is.

-- Episode 1

worse, when called out on it directly by members of the task force (other than soichiro, generally speaking), L tends to throw it back in their faces by bringing up their fears of being killed by Kira if they don’t allow him to do what he wants:

Matsuda: You need to stop this at once! There must be other ways of investigating! L: Are you going to start an inquiry? Exposing your name and face to Kira? Mogi: This is a human rights violation. This would cost us more than our jobs. L: I thought we were risking our lives for this investigation, not our jobs.

-- Episode 4

Mogi: L, all else aside, this is a violation of human rights! L: Would you like to conduct the interrogation in the room itself? Showing your face to her?

-- Episode 6

this is exacerbated by the fact that L isn’t a detective because he genuinely believes in detective work as a way to enact justice. this is L's hobby. he's here to win, not to do the good thing, because that's not his style. he comes in on difficult that he thinks will be a good way to entertain himself and stretch his imagination, and then he solves them, and then he wins.

L: But that’s no reason to just give up and turn yourself in, Kira. You’re going to be found and your method of killing exposed...  by me.

-- Episode 1

L: It didn't matter to me who the perpetrator was. On the contrary, I thought that to solve a crime with no clues at all would be the greatest thrill possible.

-- Episode 8

worst of all is that, while he justifies his human rights violations and outright torture of light and misa with it being a necessity, drama L--unlike in other adaptations--approaches it with utter glee, laughing as he keeps light awake for days on end and light begins to lose his sense of time, even while lying about kira not being active.

L: Light-kun! Don’t go to sleep! Kira hasn’t shown up yet. 

L: [laughing] Are you okay? It appears your sense of time is beginning to atrophy.

-- Episode 6

so, in the beginning, L is, as i said, very much not moralistic. he's never had his perspective challenged in his life--near and watari are exactly the same way. watari is the one who enacts most of the things L says, and rarely offers dissent. when he does disapprove of L’s actions, he won’t do anything to stop them, and often won’t complain more than shaking his head and grumbling.

then he meets soichiro, and the very first thing soichiro does is ask:

[photo: soichiro yagami sitting at a desk. matsuda is standing behind him, and himura is standing a little further back. yagami is wearing a suit and tie, speaking to L on a laptop computer. he is asking, "What do you think human life is?"]

-- Episode 1

and soichiro questions L about lind L tailor for a little bit, demanding to know if L suspected the man could die. and L argues that he had permission, but later he  calls on soichiro specifically to help him. this is partially because of soichiro’s hostage situation that paves the way for a lot of L’s suspicion on light, of course, but watari seems to think otherwise:

Watari: That’s unusual. You never invite people to meet you. Did his scolding have an effect on you, then? You like him, don’t you? L: ... Watari: You don’t meet many people who can leave you speechless.

-- Episode 1

later, L tells soichiro that L is fond of him directly:

L: I believe you are an extremely wonderful policeman. And to me, you are like a father, as well. 

-- Episode 10

and soichiro calls out a lot of the things L does in these first episodes. L has been allowed to do whatever he wants for a long time; furthermore, he never shows himself to people aside from watari and near/mello. so soichiro is possibly the first person who matters who calls L out on something like lind L tailor, and is furious when L brings the FBI to Japan:

Soichiro: Either way, I can’t approve of FBI investigators having free reign to investigate on Japanese soil. I’m going to report this. [Soichiro leaves.] L: Do you think I made him angry? Watari: Oh, well... Quite.

-- Episode 2

later, when yotsuba-light comes on scene, the same thing happens, in a little way. yotsuba light scolds L whenever he’s a little bankrupt in the morals department and simultaneously is much, much more morally upright (in yotsuba arc) himself, asking L to be on the team so he could help stop kira (which moved L to taking off the handcuffs!). L says he thinks light has a lot of potential under the surface on multiple occasions, and credits himself for the transformation:

L: I appreciate your talent. Now, it’s possible that talent only blossomed since you met me... Maybe there was nothing to trigger it before, but there’s something very passionate sleeping inside you. I was thinking I could use that in the service of good.

-- Episode 5

Light: Please, let me help. I want to catch Kira with you. Soichiro: Light... Light: If we’re going to be tied together because you suspect me anyway, Ryuga, I want to be tied to you in purpose, as well. Matsuda: But Light-kun is a student... L: He’s no mere student. As the one who encouraged his talent to bloom, I guarantee this. Let’s catch Kira and finish this together.

-- Episode 7

furthermore, L believes yotsuba light--he doesn’t think he’s lying to him.

L: By the way, Light-kun, you wanted to enter public service, didn’t you? Light: Yeah. Why? L: The police are a public service, aren’t they? When you were a child, you wanted to be one, didn’t you? Light: When my mother died when I was a kid, my father was off chasing a criminal... I thought my father’s form of justice couldn’t be worth much, if he had to sacrifice even his family to see it through. But... yeah. Now I sort of feel like I understand. Because I feel the same way he did. I want to catch Kira, no matter what. L: [internally] From what I can see, this seems unlikely to be a performance to deceive us. Which means...

-- Episode 7

between soichiro and yotsuba light, L receives quite a bit of both feedback on his own actions and examples to go by.

there’s one major example of L’s change, morally speaking: when raye penber is approached by kira, L and watari are listening, but in an example of early L being deficit in the morals department, he doesn’t move to do anything. he doesn’t warn the FBI, he doesn’t stop raye. L tells watari not to do anything, because they have the opportunity to perhaps learn how Kira kills.

[photo 1:  a close up shot of L. he is staring wide-eyed to the viewer's left, holding a green lucky charge jelly pouch. he is asking, "You want to kill the whole FBI?"

photo 2:  L is sitting at his desk on his laptop, holding a lucky charge pouch and staring at his computer. watari stands beside him, wearing a brown suit and a bowtie, saying, "L..."

photo 3:  L again, at his desk in front of his laptop. he is holding a lucky charge pouch close to his mouth. he is saying, "We could learn how Kira kills."]

--  Episode 3

Matsuda: Then you used him as bait? L: I did it to catch Kira. I didn’t have a choice. Aizawa: Didn’t have a choice?!

-- Episode 4

and L, after the FBI in japan are wiped out is clearly affected, but it’s less guilt from all of the people he let die and more to do with perceiving himself as having lost.

L: After I was so close to learning how Kira kills...

L: This time, I lost.

-- Episode 3

flash forward forward to yotsuba arc and yotsuba light and specifically the final confrontation with higuchi. higuchi, now with the shinigami eyes, is now going to the drama version of sakura TV to kill matsuda. they have this exchange:

[photo 1: light speaking into a wireless microphone. we see him from the shoulders up, wearing black. he is saying, "Dad, arrest Higuchi the minute he gets there."

photo 2: a close up shot of L and light. we cannot see light's face, as he's turned to L in surprise. L says into a microphone, "No. Let's watch him a little longer."

photo 3:  the same scene, countermeasures. L is sitting at his desk, holding a microphone close to himself. light stands beside him, laptop open on the desk. he is asking L, "Hey. What are you talking about?"]

-- Episode 7

this is the perfect parallel to the raye penber situation. L wants to let higuchi continue to sakura TV and act unimpeded in his attempt to kill matsuda because at this stage they still don’t know how Kira kills, which is precisely how raye penber died. this time, however, light argues with him:

L: We haven’t established his method of killing yet. Light: This is Kira we’re dealing with! Matsuda-san and my dad are in danger! L: In order to catch Kira, we must confirm his way of killing. Light: People’s lives are on the line! Hey. All the names of the people killed so far are written in that notebook, right? That would be proof, wouldn’t it? Even if we learn how he kills people, if a comrade dies, that’s losing, in my opinion.

-- Episode 7

and this is the first real evidence that the yagamis are actively changing the way L operates, because he does. 

L: Yagami-san, arrest Higuchi. Like the second Kira, Higuchi has become a Kira that can kill by face alone. Please keep that in mind when you arrest him.  Soichiro: Got it. Light: Ryuga... L: We won’t let the likes of Higuchi beat us. Let’s get that notebook as proof.

-- Episode 7

they do the mannequin swap and catch higuchi and nobody else dies.

soichiro has exactly the same impact-- in the manga, L dies because he's going to test the 13 day rule by having a prisoner on death row write in it, and if they don't die in 13 days they get to go free. this is what makes rem kill him to protect misa, because doing this, despite it being perhaps not the most morally upright thing, is guaranteed to prove that the 13 day rule is fraudulent. 

he never does this in the drama, because when he tells soichiro he had the idea, they have this exchange:

L: I thought about negotiating with the Ministry of Justice to see if they would verify it by carrying out death sentences.  Soichiro: I can’t approve of that. Even if they’re on death row, they’re still people. If we take their lives indiscriminately, we’re no different than Kira. L: I thought you’d say that, so I decided not to. 

-- Episode 8

yet again, L doesn’t go with the easy solution because interacting with the yagamis has inflicted him with some semblance of morality.

at this point, it’s important to discuss the nature of L and light’s relationship in the tv drama. for the most part, it’s similar to how it operates in the mangaverse, but with a major exception: L and light buy into their own manipulation. frequently, L and light call each other their friends:

L: Be my friend. That’s the favor I wanted. 

--  Episode 4

Light: If I were Kira, I wouldn’t say that, would I? L: That’s true. I guess you really aren’t Kira after all. I certainly hope you aren’t, anyway. Because you’re the first friend I’ve ever had.

-- Episode 5

these incidents in the tv drama are just like in the manga: examples of L and light manipulating each other. the change arises when light loses his memories and thus the context of the mind games--he begins to earnestly believe that L and light are friends.

[photo 1: a dimly-lit shot of only light's face. he is begging L, "Please believe me!"

photo 2: he asks, "We're friends, aren't we?"]

-- Episode 6

Matsuda: Did L tell you to call him Ryuga? Light: Yes. It’s the alias he used the first time we met. Matsuda: If you know it’s an alias, why do you call him that? Light: The truth is, I guess I’d rather he be my friend Ryuga than the detective L.

-- Episode 7

Light: I would have wanted to show you, too… The world Kira would create… If I could have… I’d have wanted… I’d have wanted to be your friend forever.

-- Episode 8

this in turn, combined with spending prolonged time with light during yotsuba arc, has an effect on L. 

Near: Hey, why did you let Yagami Light in on the investigation? You think he’ll let something slip? L: That’s part of it.  Near: So you do think he’s Kira. L: I don’t know. Part of me wants him to be Kira. Part of me wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t.

-- Episode 7

it's the second part of that line from the drama i used as evidence earlier--

L: It didn't matter to me who the perpetrator was. On the contrary, I thought that to solve a crime with no clues at all would be the greatest thrill possible.  L: Then I met you, and for the first time, I became interested in a person.

-- Episode 8

thus begins the ending to episode 8 and the beginning of episode 9, which forms one coherent scene which i’ve nicknamed “the blue scene” as shorthand, so now you know what i mean when i reference it. the blue scene truly begins with L inviting light to an abandoned building--perhaps one under construction--and invites light to join him after presumably pondering the situation there for some time.

we learn from near THIS LITTLE COMMENT near the end of the show:

Near: L struggled over whether or not he should reveal your identity. It's possible he was trying to understand, in his own way, how you felt becoming Kira.

-- Episode 11

this mindset we can see during this scene where L is doing puzzles with near:

[photo 1:  a completely white puzzle with no designs or patterns. it is unfinished, piece pieces surrounding an empty gray space. L is thinking, "If Kira's power does move between people, then it must be the will of Kira himself."

photo 2: L, wearing an extremely neutral expression. he is holding up a white puzzle piece between his index and thumb, staring at it. he is thinking, "Even if Yagami Light's memories of being Kira have been erased--"

photo 3: L from the waist up, sitting down on the floor. near is sitting in front of him, although we can only see the back of his arm as he faces L. L's thought from the first photo continues with, "--could he still recover that ability?"

photo 4:  L rests his elbow on his knee, still sitting on the floor. his eyes are downcast. He is thinking, "I don't sense anything suspicious from Yagami Light."

photo 5:  L, staring down at the puzzle. He is thinking, "I just have to capture the current Kira and finish this."]

-- Episode 7

L makes a concentrated effort to understand how and why light became kira, as shown in the beginning of the blue scene when he asks light why he became kira in the first place and then tells him L’s best guess as to why--which, because L knows the situation and light himself so well at this point, is the correct answer.

L: Why did you start using this thing? Did you lose to the allure? The first time you killed someone, it was not fully understanding what the notebook did, right? Then you got scared and tried to throw it away, right? But you were forced into a situation where you had no choice but to use it. 

L: Then Yagami Light became Kira. No... The voices of those who despised crime turned Yagami Light into Kira. But that’s just an excuse, isn’t it?

L: I want to stop you. Because we’re friends, you know? So admit you’ve lost. That you’re Kira.

-- Episode 8

and part of this is because he's been with yotsuba arc light. he likes him, he’s taken his advice. it's not as cut and dry as "i arrest light, i arrest Kira, and i win the game." anymore.

the entire episode 8 section of the blue scene is, to be clear, just a parallel of the scene where soichiro pretends to shoot light to prove he’s not kira. it's exactly the same. they bring light out, give light a scenario, and then threaten to murder him and see what happens. 

[photo 1: soichiro yagami, pointing a gun at his son. the first photo is from further away; we can see light cowering on the ground and staring down the barrel. he says, "As fellow murderers,” 

photo 2: soichiro from the shoulders up, brow furrowed. he finishes, "let's meet again in Hell."]

-- Episode 6

[photo:  the blue scene. the lighting is a saturated blue, tinting L's shirt and skin. he looks down, saying, "Then let's meet in the afterlife in thirteen days."]

-- Episode 8

whereas yotsuba-light passed the test, light in the blue scene does not.

[photo 1: light stands above L, who has been thrown against some construction materials and is laying on the ground. light is saying, "I can't afford to lose to you."

photo 2:  photo 2: from shoulders-up, we see light looking regretfully down at L. he is saying, "I'm creating a perfect world, without crime."]

-- Episode 8

that being said, in order to understand L and his decision making in this scene, you have to also understand that L thought that he was safe--that Light had no chance of getting his name. that was not part of the scenario in L's head. L had no way of predicting mikami being in the countermeasures office at that exact moment.

L spends the entire scene basically asking light over and fucking over again just to admit he's kira. 

[photo 1: the first of multiple screenshots of the blue scene in which L is in various degrees of being brutalized, because he and light are fighting physically throughout. in the first, they are facing each other, standing. L says, "So admit you've lost."

photo 2: L is crouched over. we cannot see most of his face or expression. he says, "Then admit you've lost!"

photo 3: L is splayed against some construction materials. blood drips from the corner of his mouth. he is curled in on himself, covering his stomach with his arm. he is saying, "Will you admit you've lost and atone for your crimes, 

photo 4: L finishes, “or write your own name in there and die?"]

-- Episode 8

given that the death note is fake L essentially gives him two options that ultimately amount to telling L that he’s Kira, except one of them is telling L he's kira with words and one of them is telling L he's Kira by trying to kill himself if light didn’t get mikami's help in that moment, his options are to do either of those things, deny it until soichiro and the rest arrived, leave outright, or... kill L with his bare hands, which is the most unlikely scenario here.

this is all the same reason why L doesn't really fight in the fight scene--he puts up the illusion of a fight, as though he wants Light to give up the note, but in reality he wants light to get the note.

if you watch through the scene, it plays out like this:

light slaps the death note out of his hands.

L bodychecks light into some, like, bags of padding so he doesn’t grab it.

light kicks L in the stomach with both feet.

L pushes light again once he grabs the death note. he does it once again once they both get to it.

light kicks L in the stomach for the second time. he then  grabs L on the ground and punches L in the face with such force that his skull bounces off the concrete.

L then walks off his concussion and actually punches light, actually attacking him for the only time during the sequence before yelling at him

light knees L in the stomach, for the third time; punches him in the face; and then kicks L in the stomach for the fourth time.

L falls against some boxes and sandbags and the fight is over.

the only time L actually hits light is the punch after light knocks his skull against the floor. the rest of the time he’s grappling because he wants Light to think he's in danger, and he wants to see who he really is. because he likes light. he likes light enough that he struggles enough with whether or not he wants to arrest him and tries to see his point of view, enough so that near knows about it and can comment about it. and light fails spectacularly. he gets the mikami message which is proof enough that he's kira on its own. if he stopped it there, that’s enough proof for an arrest. he didn't need light to write his name if it were a test to see if light is kira. but it isn't. because L already knew that. he wanted to know what light would do, and he found out.

L: Do you feel like you’re God? Light: Kira could become God!

-- Episode 9

which i think is why he’s so bent on having light confess in the first place. he's not doing it just to arrest the man, which is why it's a "who he is as a person" test. that's WHY it's the same as the yotsuba light test up until light fails, at which point they actually start very obviously drawing parallels to the lind L tailor test, which was lights first big failure and really the start of his moral event horizon and the beginning of their rivalry to begin with.

Lind L. Tailor: Justice always wins. Light: No, it doesn’t, That’s why Kira was born!

-- Episode 1

L: Justice always wins.  Light: No, it doesn’t. That’s why Kira was born.

-- Episode 9

but also more than that L wanted light to confess to him so that he could satisfy that part of him that started this, that has to Win the Game. the part of him that’s been taking cases all of this time. if light gives up L can say he won and satisfy that part of him, because up until now his moral compass was guided by what was most interesting to him, and of  course the kira case was as he said very interesting to him. but he wants to move on from it so that he can be friends with light. he wants to know that light trusts him too and wants to be friends so that he can have light work with him instead and use his genius constructively.

L mentions multiple times that since light has met L he’s had the chance to show the genius that was hidden because of light’s stagnant upbringing, and L wants light to work with him. at the end of light’s analysis post, i brought up that light believed the only way he could be happy is through the power and masculinity given to him through the note. i also linked tumblr user whoresband’s analysis, and once again i think it’s pertinent to share their thoughts:

L rejects social norms, he lives as he desires, and it is only men L becomes close with. L seems to heal with light. light inspires something kinder in him, something that wants to care and be cared for. and moreover, L ignites a spark in light, inspiring him to achieve and challenge himself and be better.

L’s rejection of society and closeness with other men is the route light couldve chosen and did not. L begging him to confess that he is kira is also a plea for him to confess that he loves L. L wanted light to see the value in loving him, to see how much he could be with him, and that his embrace of the social values that had caused him this pain was not the only way to free himself from that pain.

at the end of the show, in his final tape--the *what if* tape, which he created in the event that light was not kira, he expresses that he wants light to work with near.

[photo 1:  a very close image of a tablet watari is holding up. a video is playing, pre-recorded by L before his death. he is sitting in his chair at countermeasures, saying, "Light-kun, I'm sorry for doubting you."

photo 2:  watari and near at L's grave, which is headed by a very large white cross. near's back is to us. watari is still playing L's video. L is saying, "I believe that you'll become a great police officer like [Soichiro] Yagami-san some day.” 

photo 3: a close up of watari holding the tablet. L onscreen continues, “If it suits you, you could also become a detective and work with Near."]

-- Episode 11

i think if light had confessed and showed that he was still the same as he was during yostuba arc, and more importantly still was friends with L, L wouldn’t necessarily have turned him into the police, and certainly wouldn’t have executed him. i think he might have tried to convince light to join him, to enact his sense of justice alongside L instead of as Kira.

in the end, though, what i think could have happened doesn’t matter. light rejected L’s offer, and they both died for it. 

even still, there’s a point to be made about the symbolism in the tv drama--it’s incredibly overt. that’s a post for another day, but it’s worth mentioning that light is consistently symbolized by a moon hanging in the sky.

in the last shots of the tv drama, that moon hangs over L’s grave, together in death.

[photo: a very serene scene. L's grave, located on an otherwise seemingly empty grassy hill. it is a large white cross. watari and near are leaving, going down the hill. in the cloudy blue sky, a full moon is visible just above L's grave marker.]

-- Episode 11

[lowkeyorloki]

Phantom Pains

@morganas-pendragons requested: I just really really want more vulnerable Loki, half your stuff makes me sob because I just... I just love him. Maybe Reader helps him deal with his PTSD, which he clearly has after SURVIVING Thanos?!

thank you so much for your kind words! i obviously l o v e vulnerable loki as well. also, i adore your url- morgana was one of the women who made me realize i was bi ;)

hope this lives up to your expectations!

please be aware this fic deals with ptsd. if you are at all triggered by this, i advise you to read a different fic and stay safe. this subject manifests in loki waking up from a nightmare and subsequently being helped by the reader. i have tagged this as tw: ptsd (among others).

 for those struggling with this disorder who need help, i would advise going to https://www.mentalhelp.net/ptsd/hotline/ 

i would also like to say i based much of this off experiences i had from 2016-2017. as i’ve stated before, i only write in subjects i’ve experienced. if it harms you in any way, please let me know so you can educate me and work with me to find a better way to approach these matters. my experiences and way of dealing with things is not universal, and i understand this.

~

Life wasn’t easy for anyone after Thanos, any surviving member of the Avengers would tell you that.

Peter Quill and Bucky perhaps had it the worst: Their loved ones in front of them, yet not quite there. For Peter, it was Gamora, but not his. For Bucky, it was Steve, but.. tinted, like looking through a window. Both of the men’s lovers, the versions they knew, were gone.

Wanda and Clint didn’t even have a whisper of the ones they had been closest to. Vision and Natasha were wiped clear of the face of the Earth, without so much as a body to properly say goodbye to and grieve for. The two had found solace in each other; they had always been close, and Wanda now resided with Clint and his family. She was no replacement for Natasha, and no one wanted her to be, but every so often, her red hair would catch the sun just right...

It was Pepper who garnered the most sympathy. How could she not? The mother whose husband, founder of the Avengers, face of new frontiers, had paid the ultimate sacrifice. Done what no one else could, and left a better world in his wake, for everyone but his wife and young daughter. 

No, the world wasn’t the same without Tony Stark.

You felt Loki’s pain was overlooked. But then, you always had.

Slowly but surely, the members of what you once called your team left the Avengers compound. Some had duties, such as Thor and Banner, but many just couldn’t handle the memories. Rooms that had belonged to those that were no more and empty iron suits that would never be worn again was too much for even Earth’s mightiest heroes. All who remained were you and Loki. Loki, who had no one else to turn to, and you, who had been part of SHIELD and then the Avengers, and that was it. You had never had a home besides this. There was nowhere else the two of you could have gone.

Most days were everything you and Loki ever wanted with each other. A huge palace, or the closest thing to it, all to yourselves. Every night food of a level your tastebuds would never grow used to was made; and there wasn’t a single surface where Loki had not laid you out and made you his. The occasional trip to New Asgard kept the pair of you firmly grounded in reality, as well as the odd former friend dropping by for a visit.

But those were most days. Not all.

Not even the famed Tony Stark had been as close to Thanos as Loki had been. There was no one, not on any planet or in any universe, who had been exposed to Thanos as Loki had been. No one had seen the look in Thanos’s eyes as he had attempted to gouge Loki’s out, or felt hands so strong around their neck that tightened with every grimace. The feeling of dread that comes with being a newly endangered species, and animalistic fear of thinking about the sour ends the rest of your kin will come to.

And of course, Loki had thought of you. Of how your body would crumple at the news of his death, of how you would make Thanos’s search for you easier by finding him first. You were a stupid girl when you were angry, Loki had told you many times, but it was in the alien’s grasp Loki thought that with utter despair in place of anger. 

All he had wanted to do was survive so he could get back to you.

Loki refused to tell you how he did make it off the spaceship. When you had asked Thor, his eyes had clouded over, a deep trance having overtook him. Magic. You never pressed Loki, or anyone else who had been aboard the Asgardian ship, on the situation since. 

Suffice to say, the bruises on Loki’s neck had healed. The ones in his mind had not.

You cradled Loki to your chest, slowly combing your fingers through his hair, as he clutched you late into the night. It wasn’t rare for him to wake up unable to catch the air in the room.

“Lights.” you say. Instantly, the dark room in illuminated, opposite the ship had been the day Thanos and Loki crossed paths. You pull a blanket around Loki’s shoulders in an attempt to make him feel secure, but not confined. A candle is lit within seconds, a talent you picked up quickly upon learning the familiar scent could contribute to the feeling of comfort in the room. You glance at the water glass you fill with fresh water every night before bed just in case this happens, effectively reminding Loki it is there. “Loki.” you tilt the god’s chin up, and guide him so the two of you are sitting up straight on your bed that is too damn soft.

“Breathe with me.” you communicate slowly. You put your hand against Loki’s stomach, and mirror it by placing his hand against you own. “Breathe.” you repeat. “In. Out.” you say these words until you feel Loki’s movements become consistent under your palm. Some nights it works, some in doesn’t. Tonight, with patience, Loki finds the calm.

“I’m sorry.” you hear him say, it comes out a wheeze. You feel you heart ache.

“No.” you say, resisting the urge to clutch Loki to you. 

“One year.” he says. “And you’ve stayed by me. I could never understand that, as long as I live.” Loki lays back down, flat on his back, and stares straight into the bedroom lights. 

“Because you’re you.” you join him, your shoulders that only thing that touches. “Thanos didn’t take anything from you.”

“Except my sanity.”

“Loki.” you turn to him, but the god won’t meet your eyes.

“You should just leave.” he spits. “I’m hopeless.”

“No.” you retort. “If I thought you were hopeless, I wouldn’t have stuck  my neck out for you in New York all those years ago. You are not a burden, Loki Laufeyson, and you never have been. Not then, not now, not ever. You may physically be a god, but you’re human on the inside. I will never fault you for that, not for as long as I live.”

Loki doesn’t respond. He simply turns to face you, then closes his eyes.

When you awake in the morning, the lights are still on and the candle has burned to the end of the wick.

But beside you, Loki sleeps soundly. 

That is all that matters.

[unicyclehippo]

“You need to stop.” Beau

‘Huh? What are you talkin’ about, man?’

Fjord crouches beside her, there on the riverbank, and watches as she finishes carefully binding the wound, knotting the bandage in place. It’s awkward to do—the wicked slice is up near to her elbow and she has only the one hand to tie it.

‘Here, let me,’ he suggests after a moment. He reaches out for her hand. Stops when she pulls away a fraction. Despite the way his eyes go dark and quiet, like those deep currents they’d walked through on the ocean floor, so cold Beau had gone numb in an instant, his voice is gentle and smooth. ‘Maybe we should,’ he mutters.

Fjord looks back over his shoulder the way he had come and Beau is unsurprised to find Caduceus seated beneath a weeping willow, the curtain of falling leaves guarding their campsite. The firbolg sends a wide, warm smile their way and steps back within the hut, lets the curtain fall back with a dry swish of leaves.

‘Deuces sent you to practice some radical honesty?’ Beau asks. The harshness to the mocking tone is not new but it is unfamiliar. Jarring, in how long it has been since she has heard it, felt it drip like bile off her tongue.

He tries not to react to it but can’t quite hide the way he recoils; something in her face must catch his attention because he freezes for an instant and then leans right back in, heavy brow crinkling under a frown.

‘Yeah,’ he tells her, honest and simple. Messes it up a bit when he adds, ‘Sort of. No. He didn’t send me—I was already coming over when he gave me some advice.’

Beau grunts. She’s still fighting with the bandage and he slaps her fingers away—meets her glare with one of his own, and he can muster up a good one now and again—and takes over.

As he wraps the pinking scar and ties off the cloth with a practised knot, he continues, ‘I came over here to tell you to knock off the whole self sacrifice shit, but I don’t think you’re gonna listen to me.’

‘I’m not—‘

‘That’s what I thought,’ he nods. He ties off the knot, leans back. Beau examines the tie and, begrudgingly finding it adequate, watches Fjord as he makes himself comfortable next to her. Stretches his legs out until he is covered by the clear, cool water up to his knees. His heels sink into the silty sand, digging trenches behind them as he pushes them out deeper, and the silt swirls up and around his toes, grits between them. Muddied roots tickle beneath the soles of his feet, and he watches as a curious fish bobs nearby, only to scatter when he swirls a foot in its direction. ‘What happened between us?’

‘Huh?’

‘Come on, Beau, you have to feel it too. It was you and me from the start, front line bros, Captain and first mate... And now you barely talk to me.’

Beau lifts a shoulder, shrugs. ‘I dunno.’

‘Bullshit. You’re the smartest person I know—‘

‘Caleb.’

‘Caleb is two books, a magic cat, and trauma wrapped up in a dirty coat,’ Fjord drawls. It doesn’t sound a thing like his old voice, and she doesn’t know why she’s stuck on it but she kind of is. ‘You’re a real one—a real shit kicker,‘ he adds with a laugh. ‘And smart. ‘Specially with that new headband. So forgive me if I don’t believe for a second that you don’t have some idea.’

She can feel his attention on the side of her face. Waiting. Gritting her teeth, she says, ‘I don’t know.’

‘Right.’

Despite her non-answer, despite not talking to him, Fjord stays. After a long time, long enough for the sun to sink nearly beneath the distant mountains, he says, ‘Whatever it is—me, or something else—it doesn’t really matter. I just wanted to say that I can see it. The way you put yourself front line. Not like that’s new but lately it’s been more...reckless.’

He speaks carefully, like the conversation is trapped and he’s trying not to set something off. It’s not how she wants him to feel—even if they have been drifting apart—but she can feel her back start to grow stiff and tense with everything she doesn’t want, isn’t ready to talk about, to confront right now. The rest of her follows suit, preparing to fight, to defend herself, and she’s sure that Fjord with his ability to see even in these darkening shadows that bloom and wash across the world like it’s rolling up off the river itself, he can see it too.

‘I’m not judging you, I’m worried. Now more than ever we need to work as a team, and with you running ahead and picking fights with everything we encounter,’

‘Oh so it’s my fault we’re getting attacked by a death cult.’

‘That’s not what I’m saying!’ Nostrils flaring, Fjord takes a moment to breathe, calm himself. ‘Now, more than ever, we need to be careful. We need to trust each other,’

‘I trust you guys to get me back up onto my feet. You trust me to punch the shit out of them. What’s the problem?’

‘You aren’t listening to me,’ Fjord snaps, pulling his soaked feet out of the water. He stands when she does, pulling away, and he grabs at her uninjured elbow, pulls her gently to face her. She fights the urge to shake him off. ‘You’re scaring us, Beau! You’re taking too many risks, and it’s gonna get you killed. What is going on? Talk to me,’ he pleads, crouching a little in an effort to look into her eyes.

Hers is a mask of disinterest so profound that after a moment he draws back, confused, upset.

‘Did I do something?’ He thinks a moment. Eyes sliding up toward the hut. ‘Is this about Jester?’

‘What about Jester?’ she snaps, bristling. This time, she does shake his hand away from her.

‘I know you like her-‘

‘You don’t know the first thing about me, Fjord,’ she spits with such malice it makes him physically recoil.

For a moment, it looks like he’s wavering between reassuring her that actually, yeah, he does. And a cruel little spirit in her twists and turns and Beau allows herself to fall back into bad habits.

‘You think you’re some kinda holy man now? Now that you have a pretty new sword and Caduceus standing at your shoulder? You want me to cry on your shoulder and all that bullshit, like you’re some wandering saviour, but it is Caduceus who gets mama Wildmother to hear you, it’s Caduceus who you’re mimicking now, just like you did dear old Vandren.’

Fjord jerks upright like he’s been slapped, colour draining from his cheeks. ‘Really?’ he snarls. ‘I knew you had a shitty childhood or whatever but attacking me the second I say I’m worried about you really isn’t the way to go. But hey, maybe you didn’t have a shitty childhood. Maybe it was all gold and roses! I don’t know,’ he snaps. ‘And whose fault is that? You don’t tell us anything about you!’

‘You never ask!’

‘Because you push people away! Is letting people care about you so fucking terrifying that you can’t even fathom me being concerned for your safety? How fucking awful were you as a kid that even your own parents hated you?’

Beau reacts before she can think, something she thought she had grown out of. Her injured arm snaps up, grabs him by the front of his armour, and she shoves him until he stumbles back, falling onto his ass in the black-yellow silt of the riverbank. When he tries to stand and follow, she moves forward so she’s standing over him.

The river flows gentle and slow, barely moving at all, and with the reflecting moonlight Beau can see her own reflection. Bent over him, finger pointed threateningly at him. There’s something wild in her eyes—not feral, not like she actually wants to hurt him, but that look of something cornered, something that perceives even the helping hand coming toward it as an enemy.

She withdraws, drags in a ragged breath. With her uninjured hand, she wipes her loose hair back out of her eyes. Taking one and then another and another step back—like she recognises how close she got to hitting him—she shakes her head. ‘Just leave me alone, Fjord.’

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Art Of Remembrance (Part 35)

They don’t make a move until a week or so comes to pass, when the rencorcements finally arrive. The invasion of the compounds is rather swift and quick, sheer number alone would have done well enough. But in reporting just how terribly they were ravaging and savagely harvesting from the spirit vines earned them aid from the Foggy Swamp Tribe. As it were, the Vine Research Facility had already been treading stagnant but very dangerous waters with vengeful spirits showing their teeth.

The element of surprise had been lost when Ting-Lao had pieced it together that he hadn’t been talking to Aikara and the new recruit. No less, the man was easy to apprehend. In way of entrances and excites, there was only one. A poor design choice, undoubtedly, but a fortunate one for them.

The only loose end left is Long-Feng. No doubt, the man will be elusive now that his compounds have all been compromised. But they have yet to figure out what the man’s exact goal is. Though Ting-Lao swears up and down that he personally is only in on it for the research. “Call it a crazed craving for knowledge.” He squeaks. “A morbid curiosity, I want to see exactly how chi works and how it flows from within. I want to know just what we can do...how far we can push things.” He rambles. “It is fascinating to see a born waterbender wield a flame or raise a boulder. I want to know the long term effects…”

Sokka has heard quite enough, next to him he gathers that Azula has too. She stands with her arms folded, looking as cold and cross as she ever had in her war days.

“I can’t say that research and fact hoarding is a bad thing.” She agrees. “But really, if you had any real love for knowledge, you’d be aware that it is unwise to provoke the spirits...and in their own territory too.” She mutters.

“It’s not natural!” Sokka speaks up. “Only the Avatar can bend multiple elements.” And that isn’t even factoring how truly invasive it is to tamper with and alter one's chi and spirit energy. Aang has mentioned time and time again how wrong and how appalling it had felt to reap Ozai’s chi away.

Something in Sokka’s stomach heaves. What if Ozai is in league with Long-Feng? What if he is trying to get his bending back. Sokka glances over at Azula again. And by taking it from his own daughter…

“What is Long-Feng’s goal?” Azula asks.

“It is simple really.” Offers Ting-Lao. “Vengeance. He doesn’t like you, princess.” The man sneers. “And he doesn’t like the Avatar much more. Power as well, the Earth Kingdom should have been under his rule. His goal was to bend three of the four elements, create a new Dai Li of dual bending masters, and reclaim what should have been his before you stole that from him.” He spits. “We didn’t have to wipe your memories, but he was insistant. He wanted the powerful princess to know what it is to be under someone’s control.”

For once Azula doesn’t seem to go tense at the mention of a grittier time in her past. Instead she stares on at him with a degree of indifference. “If it was rightfully his, he’d be on the throne. And if he was fool enough to fail a power play the first time around then he is undeniably unsuitable.” She shrugs.

Sokka still finds himself wishing that she wouldn’t speak like that, it still sends chills down his spine each time. But he had already told her that he would love her in spite of it. That he wouldn’t look at her differently…

“Long Feng is a great leader.” Ting-Lao declares. “Infinitely better than you were. You stole his Dai Li and then you banished them in a fit of psychotic rage. There’s something wrong with you. We knew it right when we took you.”

Now her posture seems to change some. It is so subtle that he only knows it because he has come to know her. She steps, seemingly nonchalantly, closer to Sokka.

.oOo.

“Is that right?” Azula replies dryly. “Do tell me how you’d take to being captured.” She pauses, looking around. “I do recall a lot of screeching and kicking.”

The man’s face colors.

“Really, I don’t think that anyone sensible would go down without a fight.”

He scowls, “a fight is one thing. What you did...well I’ve never seen something so feral and unhinged. It was like we hadn’t even captured a human. Made it much easier to slice you open and listen to you weep about it.”

She doesn’t think that a monster would feel as queasy as she does at the thought of it. Her fingers absently graze over the scars on her arms.

“We watched you for weeks before that, you shouted at things we shouldn't see. Threw fire at them too. You were talking about how everyone was coming to get you. Your delusions made it harder for us too…”

“Delusions.” Azula mutters. “Are they really delusions if they are true?”

The man laughs. “Perhaps if your mind had picked up on a real threat. You kept rambling about your mother and brother. And that look in your eyes. We knew that we were about to cage a beast.”

Though it weaves a very heavy amount of unease into her belly, Azula doesn’t take the bait. She waves the comment off. “Clearly I am perfectly civilized.”

“For now.” He shrugs. “Really we did you a favor, cleansing that evil, broken mind of yours. You think that it won’t unravel again if you manage to get your memories back?”

This time her stomach sinks completely. It is one thing to prepare herself to be vindictive and spiteful again and another matter entirely to consider once again dealing with the things that had sent her to Fire Lake Institute.

Sokka vowed that he could love her despite her past, but she thinks that she might be pushing her luck to ask him to accept her with a head full of delusions and visions.

.oOo.

Azula holds up a dismissive hand. “Regardless, Long Feng isn’t fit to run anything and it isn’t for him to play with spirit energies.” She comes to stand directly before Ting-Lao. “It is a fool’s errand just like his first grab.” She turns away from him and to one of her imperial firebenders. “We are done for the day, lock him back up aboard the ship.”

“Wait!” Sokka speaks up.

She peers over at him and nods her head.

“Are you guys working with Ozai too?”

“He offered us information and inside intelligence in exchange for the possibility of getting his bending back.” Ting-Lao replies. “Long Feng saw humor in delivering it to him with the knowledge that we’d harvested it from his precious golden child.” He glares at Azula.

Sokka wonders if Azula shares the relief he feels in knowing that her father, for once, hadn’t deliberately tried to sacrifice her. Though a good lot of his relief comes in know that they won’t have to deal with the former Fire Lord on top of everything else.

He wanders over to Azula and rubs her shoulders as the imperial firebenders carry the doctor off.

“You alright?” He asks.

“You ask me that a lot.” She mumbles. “I’m not delicate. I…”

“You are a powerful fire breathing dragon. Got it. But I’m not, I am a sensitive guy and I like to make sure the people I care about are okay. I can’t lose another person.”

“Sensitive…” she rolls her eyes. But her expression softens. “What do you mean by, another person?”

He has to laugh. Even in the middle of everything, she still has many questions. As he walks with her out of their makeshift interrogation tent, he tells her about his fleeting romance with Yue.

Frankly he is glad that she had brought it up, her sympathetic stares are reassuring. It helps him to decide that she has much more compassion than everyone else seems to account for. More than she seems to account for.

“I’m glad to have run into the both of you.” Dr. Yu-Kang greets.

Sokka had nearly forgotten that she, Dr. Phan, and his team of healers and surgeons were aboard one of the several ships.

“I am pleased to say that Yion’s family has been reunited with her and that she is on her way to recovery. The Fire Lord is going to have her on trial when she does.” She pauses. “Though right now I think that you might be more interested in other matters.” Her stare wavers between the two of them.

“Go on.” Azula prompts.

“Dr. Phang and his team have been going over the research notes. We believe that they are going to be able to safely recover your memories. We will give them until we reach the homelands to study the notes and thoroughly plan out how to proceed. You should have your memories some time next week if you so choose.”

“That’s...wonderful news.” Azula replies.

He can hear the apprehension in her tone and he squeezes her hand.

Evidently Dr. Yu-Kang is as perspective as ever. “You two have grown quite close, I think that, that will be very helpful for after her memories are retrieved.” She pauses and addresses Azula. “I’ve worked with you for around three years, princess. Having someone who you trust and someone who loves you is going to make a very big difference.”

Azula seems to swallow and Sokka offers her a reassuring smile.

“You were never a bad person, princess. But you always had yourself closed off.”

“You aren’t worried that she’ll…” Sokka ponders his word choice. “Revert once she gets her memories back?”

“I’m not terribly concerned, no.” Dr. Yu-Kang replies. “If nothing else, the princess is an intelligent young woman; I’m sure that she’ll realize that there is no sense in tarnishing salvaged relationships so that she can cling onto old resentments.”

He wishes that he could tell what she is thinking.

“Yes, I suppose that there is no sense in that…” she trails off.

He thinks that it is the reassurance that she needs.

“I will let Dr. Phang know that you will be ready for the procedure. Have a good evening.”

“Yes, thank you.” Azula replies. “Good night.”

Sokka grins, she hadn’t hesitated to take the offer this time. Though he is certain that she still retains some level of anxiety. He can’t say that he blames her. They are going to be playing with her mind, quite literally.

“What if I lose my memories again?” She vocalizes her final, unaddressed fear.

“Then I’ll tell you your life story the first time you ask for it this time around.” He laughs.

[my-insanity-is-an-artform]

Rexani5 - enemies to lovers.

My friend, easy as pie and this got way longer than I thought it would.

To set the stage, let’s say Anakin wasn’t allowed to become a Jedi or left at age 12. 

He is, of course, followed by Obi-Wan because I live for that banter and BrOtp

Anakin returns to Tatooine and at the age of let’s say 16, leads and wins a slave rebellion (and becomes the leader of Free Tatooine at 17 much to his dismay and Obi-Wan’s amusement)

Since Tatooine is out in the Outer Rim, the Core and Senate really do not care one smidgen. They have the beginnings of the Separatist Crisis making waves. What does one little planet matter?

It very much matters after over two years later when it comes to light that Free Tatooine has a very strong sense of community and will not stand for Slavery. Anywhere.

Slavers have gone missing. Planets that make profits from slavery have found themselves with their leader mysteriously murdered.  Even the criminal network have rumours of bounty hunters winding up dead on the Hutts’ doorstep after being sent after Skywalker and those around him

(Anakin is a little insulted his bounty is only half a million credits.) 

A great many planets have entered into an agreement with Free Tatooine to wipe out corruption and slavery. 

Orn Free Taa, in a moment of consciousness, announces Ryloth’s alignment with Tatooine. (Greedy, corrupt bastard he may be, but he does love his people who have been the target for slavers for generations.) 

This results in a very tense three-way stand-off between The Republic, The Separatist Alliance and The Freedom Coalition.

The Separatists did try to get The Coalition on side but swiftly told where to stick it.

The Clone Wars do not break out primarily because neither the Separatists nor the Republic can afford to fight a three-way war.

They are also very aware that the Freedom Coalition can, thanks to an alliance with various pirates, private security firms and support that would have been on one side or the other but have chosen the Coalition. 

Even the neutrals are smaller.

Sidious is fuming.

It nearly breaks out when both the droid and clone armies are found but Speaker Shmi Skywalker sends a message to both sides that promises swift retribution if either side engages. 

The Separatist have known connections to the Hutts and various slaving organisations.

The Republic has the Clones. Enough said there.

This doesn’t mean that either side won’t take pot-shots at each other for a year or so.

So we come to the part where our trio meet.

Captain Rex of the 501st is sent with a squad to scout on Tatooine and bring any information about the leader to the Republic. His team comprises of ARC Troopers Fives and Echo, Kix, Jesse, Hardcase and Dogma.

Everyone was a little surprised at Dogma’s inclusion but the guy proved to be very sneaky and Echo’s influence has loosened him up a bit.

Fives and Rex have been hovering on the edge of something for a while now but Rex doesn’t want to start anything while he’s still Fives’ superior officer. 

Fives thinks that’s a load of Sith spit but is willing to wait.

Scouting team lands on Tatooine no problem.

Okay, slight problem. They disturb a Krayt dragon.

Fortunately, they are saved by the arrival of a blond male native who uses various calls to scare off the dragon and rescue the group.

The charming smirk and casual demeanour means Fives falls a little bit in love at first sight.

Echo is starting to believe his batchmate just has a thing for blondes who look good shooting things.

The stranger asks for their names and can clearly see they are all clones but he doesn’t comment on it. Just nudges them back to their ship and suggests they leave all while smiling charmingly and genuinely asking about themselves.

They’re just packing up and preparing to report a mission failure when Fives gets the guts to ask the stranger for his name.

“I’m Anakin Skywalker. Have a safe trip home, fellas.”

Anakin Skywalker, leader of Free Tatooine and of the Freedom Coalition, Chainbreaker, Slaver Killer, probably the most dangerous man in the Galaxy, and the man they were sent to spy on. And he’s just letting them go?

Rex is very confused.

Fives is too busy staring at Skywalker’s ass as he leaves and the cute bewildered look on his captain’s face.

Echo comes to the conclusion Fives definitely has a thing for authoritive blondes who look good shooting things.

The second time they meet is on a battlefield. 

The Freedom Coalition refuses to fight the clone army so they usually just take out the Admirals or Generals.

The clones are a little infuriated about this.

Some, however, take advantage and surrender. Slick of the 212th was one such clone who turned himself over to gain his freedom.

Anakin winds up facing Captain Rex in an attempt to kidnap Admiral Yularen.

Anakin really doesn’t want to hurt a fellow ‘slave’.

Rex just wants to take this guy in.

It ends with Anakin getting grazed by blaster fire and Rex with a small concussion. 

Anakin finds himself very intrigued by the clone captain and by the ARC Trooper who brazenly cussed him out when he arrived with back-up.

“You know most people just talk to the ones they are crushing on. Not stalk them.”“Shut it Obi-Wan. We can’t all just flirt our way in and out of fights with Commander Cody.”

So it goes like that for a while. Anakin shows up, Fives and Rex face off against him. There’s banter involved. Anakin makes the mistake of saying something vaguely flirtatious to them once and then disappears for a month. Fives proceeds to use that line every time they see Anakin thereafter. Rex pulls them both back on track. Sometimes the clones win the fight, others Anakin wins. 

Remember, Anakin, Rex and Fives all believe they are fighting for the right cause. Rex does try to make the case for pro-Republic but can’t answer when Anakin asks him if the Republic is as good as he thinks it is.

There is one time that an explosion goes off and Anakin almost sacrifices himself to hold back the blast. Neither Fives or Rex take the chance to take Anakin into custody. Instead, Anakin finds himself in a coalition medbay with a note asking him not to do anything so stupid ever again.

Eventually, the Separatists make a bid and declare open war. Grievous and Dooku are sent after Anakin and Obi-Wan in an attempt to throw the Freedom Coalition into disarray. 

What they didn’t expect was the Delegation of 2000 had managed to cut a deal with the Coalition, present it to the Senate, got it passed and was able to create a treaty between the two states. 

Clone Rights are still hotly debated but under the treaty, no clone can be decommissioned for any reason and any clone has the right to a fair trial. Small victories but necessary ones.

Grievous and Dooku’s forces are met with not only The Freedom Coalition’s fleet but also the 501st and 212th.

Anakin is very relieved to see both Rex and Fives come charging to his rescue. 

He is also swooning a bit because it’s almost like a scene straight out of Love Under Adleraanian Skies.

Fives watches as Anakin decapitate three droids and Rex shoot off the head of a forth and decides Yes, these are the men I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Rex comes to a similar conclusion as Anakin gently force-heals a blaster burn on his bicep after the fight while Fives hovers worriedly behind him.

Dooku and Grievous die in the Final battle. 

During clean up, several transmissions are found to Dooku from a Sith Lord. The transmissions are tracked back to Coruscant. To the Chancellor’s Office to be precise. 

The Freedom Coalition has been trying to track down exactly who has been leaking intel, arranging numerous kidnapping attempts and secretly attacking their forces for a good couple of years. 

Dooku’s intel also shows that while he arranged most of that, it was under orders.

So basically

(I hope you like this. I spent 10 minutes making it and 15 giggling over it.)

Anakin, Obi-Wan, a few Jedi Masters, three Senators and a squad of clones confront Palpatine over the evidence.

The result is several explosions, a dead senator, two dead Jedi, a dead Sith Lord and a Republic Senate thrown into chaos.

Sidious tries to activate Order 66 but fails since the Freedom Coalition does a full check up on any defecting clones and found the chip ages ago. They developed a virus that made them null with plans to remove them asap.

The Freedom Coalition graciously takes over providing aid to the war-torn worlds with a warning to the Senate they will only return to the Republic if certain conditions are met. The Senate agrees.

One of which are complete rights for all clones.

In this world, Anakin loses his arm to Sidious after pushing Fives out of the way of a strike. That allows Rex to shoot him in the head and then for Anakin to shove a lightsaber through his heart. Fives shoots him as well “just in case sir.”

When Anakin wakes up with his new arm, it’s not Fives but Rex who presses a relieved kiss to his lips. Fives does follow up almost as soon as Rex pulls away.

Anakin is a bit too dazed to think properly and as such promises not to do that again. 

At least not without them.

They spend the rest of Anakin’s stay in medical actually talking about where they want this to go and their feelings. 

Since Anakin isn’t emotionally repressed and is allowed to make attachments, it goes a lot better than it would have otherwise.

Rex gave into Fives’ not-quite-pestering after the Final Battle and both started plotting how to bring Anakin into it.

Either way, Echo and Plo Koon’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano, make a lot of money when the relationship is revealed.

Rex, Fives and Anakin all get married in a lovely ceremony on Tatooine with Shmi, Obi-Wan and the 501st in attendance. 

Hondo shows up with a bottle of vintage wine as a gift and to take photos to flog on the black market. 

Obi-Wan gets busted in Commander Cody’s bed with said Commander the next morning. 

Hardcase discovers the joys of fireworks and makes several friends Rex rather wishes he hadn’t.

Fives discovers Anakin’s butt really is as firm as it looks and that Rex will go red if both he and Ani whisper naughty things into the captain’s ears.

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Bonus Round: Alternative Ideas Include -

Sith! Anakin, who prefers not to kill the clones out of some sense of kinship, is fighting against the Republic and comes across Captain Rex and ARC Trooper Fives. Instead of killing each other, each are intrigued by the other. It ends up with Sidious exposed and Darth Vader gaining two loyal bodyguards/lovers.

Fives is a superhero in a world that dislikes them, Anakin is a supervillain (though more Megamind, Less Joker) and Rex is a cop who wants arrest both.

Pride and Prejudice au with Anakin as Elizabeth, Rex as Darcy and Fives as a weird blend in the middle.

[platypan]

Six Sentence Sunday--Takin’ One For The Team

“We’ve learned so much, but probably nothing they’ll focus on in our NEWTS,” Hermione sighed.  “I didn’t think you two minded, honestly.”

“I didn’t, until I thought of McGonagall’s face,” Harry chewed dismally at a liquorice whip.

“I did mind, until I noticed all the first-years standing on tiptoes to press their noses against our door,” Ron grinned wide and toothily at a tiny boy who yelped and ducked, his fluffy black hair betraying where he’d tried to hide out of sight of the window.  “I could snog Hermione for the next one.”

Her eyebrows arched.  “I’m so glad you’re willing to sacrifice to save Harry from eyes.  Whenever I’m in another class you can leap upon someone.  Professor Trelawney might not notice.”  

After their skipped year, almost everything on the way to Hogwarts was tiny.  The witch selling chocolate frogs was old and bent shorter than a house-elf, the sinks in the loos hit an odd, awkward line just above Harry’s knees, and the doorways he and Ron had stood side-by-side in were barely wide enough for his shoulders, not to mention the red mark on Ron’s forehead from knocking it across the doorframe.  

“I feel like we used the Time-Turner,” Ron kicked his shoes off, putting his feet up against the opposite wall of the compartment.  “Like we think nobody’s going to notice we’re sneaking in with our first year class, but we’re actually forty-five, and to them we all look just like Mad-Eye Moody, and when we get there we won’t remember which way to hold a wand or how to form letters.”  

“Why are we having the same nightmare,” Harry muttered, as Hermione blinked between them.

“We’ve learned so much, but probably nothing they’ll focus on in our NEWTS,” she sighed.  “I didn’t think you two minded, honestly.”

“I didn’t, until I thought of McGonagall’s face,” Harry chewed dismally at a liquorice whip.

“I did mind, until I noticed all the first-years standing on tiptoes to press their noses against our door,” Ron grinned wide and toothily at a tiny boy who yelped and ducked, his fluffy black hair smooshed against the window.  “I could snog Hermione for the next one.”

Her eyebrows arched.  “I’m so glad you’re willing to sacrifice to save Harry from eyes.  Whenever I’m in another class you can leap upon someone.  Professor Trelawney might not even notice.”  

Ron shuddered, but shook his head.  “Do you mean in her class, or kissing her--eugh.  We should make a list.  Who don’t you mind second-hand tasting, ‘Mione?”

Harry snorted, feeling his shoulders relax for what felt like the first time in days.

“That’s disgusting,” Hermione wrinkled her nose.  “Maaaaybe Luna or Neville.”

“Thank you for your service,” Harry snickered.  

“Not Ginny,” Hermione counted off a finger, like this list might take some time.

“Not my siblings, no,” Ron curled into the seat, cringing.  

“Maybe there are some nice Ravenclaws,” she suggested, and Harry slid sideways into Ron’s shoulder, cackling.  

“What is this, your ‘possible threesomes’ list?!”

She clapped, eyes sparkling.  “Finnigan and Thomas like freckles!”  

Ron choked on his handful of Every Flavour Beans, gagging.  “We room with them, ‘Mione, Dean sleeps in a pile of his own dirty socks--”

“Well, I mean, definitely wake him up, unless it’s an emergency--”

“That’s so creepy,” Harry wiped his eyes.  “Are there gonna be Potter-viewing tourists in the bedroom?  Does Dean need to sign a permission form?”

“Point,” Hermione’s eyes narrowed.

“You could kiss Luna yourself, you know,” Ron crossed his arms.

“Gregory Goyle, he’d forget it instantly,” Harry suggested with a snort.  “He punches pretty hard, though.  Might break your ickle nosie.”

“Oh dose!  Not the ickle nosie!” Hermione giggled, as Ron shuddered, trying to swallow the jellybeans so he wouldn’t have to spit them out to breathe.  

“I am drawing a line,” he announced, huffing.  “I’m not throwing myself on those train tracks if the person is more than thrice my size.”

“We’d rescue you, have some faith,” Hermione stared at him, and Harry lost all ability to breathe, kicking his feet.  “We fought Voldemort--”

“My point is,” Ron steepled his fingers, “--that if we’re prepared to start a melee, we could just do that to begin with, and I wouldn’t have to have up-close knowledge of Goyle’s progress in facial hair.”

Harry was tossing names out at random, everyone from Mad-Eye Moody, to Norbert, to Umbridge, which nearly killed Ron entirely--he started hitting Harry with a licorice whip.

Harry yelped, putting his arms over his head.  “Percy!  And Penelope Clearwater!”

“Not!  Family!” Ron punctuated his strikes, and Hermione waved.

“But--Ron.  Percy.  Does he count?”

The first years watched in fascinated horror as Harry Potter’s cabin turned into a scene of candy carnage.

That’s all there is of this, but I post things on 「My Ao3 」 !

[sanjayyyy-13]

I Should Of Stayed In Bed

Summary: Loki and (Y/N) have had feeling for each other for a long time. But how do they feel when they have been placed on opposing sides of a friendly feud? 

Warnings: Just a lot of bad language. Swearing, cussing, the whole enchilada. 

Prompt: The Avengers have a prank war, (Y/N) and Loki get a little into it.

Pairing: Reader (Female) and Loki Laufeyson

Words: 2321

No this couldn’t be happening. They said it would be safe. You held your breath as you heard the faint footsteps of your enemies. You crouched low and pushed your back against the cool marble kitchen counter. You looked down at your drenched clothes and took a deep breath. You took a glance at the gun in your hands and noticed you were on your last bit of ammo. Your throat was as dry as sandpaper. Thats when you heard a voice…. No two. Shit! I’m so fucked.

-Before-

Everything was going great in the Avengers tower. You were relaxing with a book in hand and a cup of hot chocolate in the other. You basked in the sun that was streaming through the windows and enjoyed the peace. Steve, Tony and Thor had gone for a meeting with some big people leaving the team relaxed. Loki sat across from you, his eyes were focused on his book but every so often he would flicker his eyes up to your face and drink in every detail. He would admire everything, from the curve of your cheek to the (h/c) strands of hair that were framing your face so delicately. He thought you were an exquisite being and the only acceptable human to be in the presence of a god. You looked up from your book and met his gaze. You gave him a smile and took a sip from your cup of chocolate. Little did you know that your powers made the tea steaming hot. Fuck that shit hurted. It burnt your lip and tongue making you spit it back into the cup and yelp in pain. Whelp, there goes being graceful you thought to yourself.

You heard a scoff from Loki and you rolled your eyes. “Thanks for the, are you okay? You want me to get ice?” You say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “You are fine, because along with those heating powers, you do have cooling powers” he says and gives you a smug smile. Argh, I wish I could smack that stupid grin off his face. You put your book and tea down. I need to change my shirt now you thought as you noticed the sticky stains on your comfy shirt. You got up, and thought about what Loki said. You willed the chill to come to your hands and pressed your fingers on your tongue and lip. “Thuck chu” you say to Loki. “Was that Thank You or fuck you?” Loki says with his brows furrowed and eyes trained on your tea stain. With your remaining hand you give him the middle finger and then bow deeply. “I presume that it is both” he says thoughtfully. You gave him a smile and wink and headed towards your room.

After closing the door you took your fingers out of your mouth. Taking of your shirt and not bothering to put on another you collapse on your bed and ponder.  Your thoughts wandered to the mischievous man that made you want to slap and kiss him at the same time. You had grown close to the Asgardian god. You both teased, flirted and played with each other. You wouldn’t say you had a real bad crush on him, but that smirk makes you wish you can just say something about how you feel and not let your powers act up. Your frustrating powers were the result of a lab experiment. You were a trained assassin, captured by Hydra, turning you into their lab rat. You were gifted with the powers of ice and fire. But the pain you went through to achieve them was terrible. You shuddered thinking of the past and focused on how you ended up in this tower. You smiled when you remembered helping the “mighty” avengers fight Ultron and many other smaller enemies. Ahh, nice trip down memory lane.

Loki P.O.V

He listened to your footsteps receding down the hallway and let out a long breath. He closed his book and proceeded to look out the window, his head resting on the palm of his hand. She was magnificent and wonderful. He wished he could just tell her how he feels and how he wishes to hold her in his arms. Ack when did all of this sickening love stuff happen he thought to himself. Pause. Wait… did I just say I love her? No. She is just more relatable than others. He dragged his hands down his face and took a long breath. He decided to distract himself by completing his book. Unfortunately, thats when two of the loudest men walked into the room. Arguing. Ugh. He needed you to get through this.

-Back to you-

“(Y/N)?” You heard before someone opened the door. “Argh” you screech as you reached for your shirt but found nothing.  Loki eyes widen when he saw you in your state. “What the fuck dude? Can’t you knock?” You shout at the black haired god in front of you. “Oh” Loki says. He eyes your body and smirks. “ You are begging for me to punch you.” You say. “ I can’t stand being alone with those two nimrods arguing” he says as he hands you your shirt that was on the floor. “ The boys are back at it again?” You say as you grab the shirt, slightly burning his hands with your powers. “Ow, you need to control your powers. They are hot as balls“ he says awkwardly with the new terms Peter was teaching him. You chuckle and start to put your shirt back on. He scowled when he heard you laughing. “Don’t scrunch up your face like that, you’ll ruin it” you say with a smirk. He folded his arms and rolled his eyes.“ I’ll be back in a few” you say. “seconds or hours?” he says. “Years” you answer him with a smile. He rolled his eyes and left closing the door behind him.

That was embarrassing. You put a proper shirt on and head back to the common room. There were voices that were loudly coming from them. “I doubt it you jerk off!” You hear someone yell. “Fuck you, everyone knows I was the original best friend!” Another voice yelled. You entered the room that had Sam and Bucky arguing. You noticed Loki in the corner with a look of annoyance in his eyes. You laughed quietly at the cute expression on his face. “Guys, what are you fighting about?” You exclaim. “This dick head thinks that he is the best friend of Steve!” Sam yells.  You tilt your head to Bucky who rolls his eyes. “I know I am” Bucky replies. “Okay, Okay. You guys are both his best friends” you state with your arms outstretched. “Pfft, the only way to tell who’s better is to fight and earn the title” Sam states, getting into a fighting stance. “Fighting? No we are going to see who is mentally fit to be Caps best friend” Bucky says. “Are you proposing a prank war?” Sam says in disbelief. “Hell yes I am. And I get first dibs on my team members. I call (Y/N).” Bucky states as he walks over and puts his arm around you making you groan under it’s weight. You give Loki a silent plead of help. But all he does is shrug his shoulders and smirk. What have I gotten myself into?

-Present-

You thought of the teams, Sam Team: Sam, Clint, Rhodey. Bucky’s Teams: Bucky, Natasha, Peter, (Y/N). Loki had refused to participate in this “petty midgaurdian bullshit”. Even when you begged and pouted your lips.

You had come to the kitchen to make some water balloons for your team. Being an idiot, you didn’t ask anyone for help. You clutched your water gun tightly when you began to hear the opposing teams voices. It was Clint and Rhodey. But they seemed oddly robotic. You had to abort your mission or call in for backup. You gave yourself five seconds to think about it and a plan began to formulate in your mind. You couldn’t risk going back to your base and showing them where it was and couldn’t sacrifice your precious resources a.k.a the water balloons. You quietly opened the cupboard next to you and placed the bucket that held the full water balloons and closed it.  

You pull out your phone and send Natasha a quick SOS and hit record on your phone to capture the conversation between Rhodey and Clint. You strained your ears and tried listening in on the conversation between Rhodes and Clint. “….They will never see it coming and they don’t even know that we know where there base is.” You heard Rhodey say. “Hahah yup, I can’t wait to capture the look on Nat’s face” Clint replies. You sent the recording to Bucky and pop up from your hiding place and squirt them both with water from you water gun. “Surprise bitches!!!” You yell. “What the fuck?” A certain god says. Oh Shit. You see Loki drenched in water but no sign of Clint or Rhodey. You frown, put down your gun and grabbed a towel. You quickly approached him.“I’m so sorry. Shit. I didn’t see you there” You start saying. He glares at you for a second and grabs the towel from you hand. “Im so so sorry” you start mumbling.  He starts to visibly get annoyed and starts wiping his hair.

“It’s okay, just shut up” he snaps. He notices your face change from worry to sadness and immediately feels bad. You furrow your brows and chew your bottom lip nervously. Loki takes notice and tries his best not to let it distract him. He brings his hand up to the side of your face and takes his thumb and removes your bottom lip away from your teeth. “Actually love, you should forgive me.” He replies with a smirk. Love?  You were a little stuck in place because of the new nick name you earned. “Wait why?” You say audibly as he slaps your hand in handcuffs and throws you over his shoulder. “I got her. Sam come and take her. My job is done, now leave me alone” he says. “You little asshole! Let go” You start kicking furiously. “Play nice now, love” he replies. There it was again.”Love”  The familiar feeling of ice comes in your hand. You break out of the knot and flip off of a unsuspecting Loki. “Not today Satan!” You yell. Thats when your team comes rushing in. But unfortunately, so does the opposing team. Peter hands you a water gun and places the water balloon bucket behind you. “Thanks kid” you say. “No problem, (Y/N)” he replies innocently.

“ATTACK” Bucky and Sam yell at the same time. This was when all hell broke loose. You started squirting your gun at Loki who used Clint as his shield and started walking forward towards you. “Let go of me” Clint said as he struggled to get out of Loki’s strong grip. Your eyebrows furrow as you slowly walked backwards. When he got close enough to you he tossed Clint aside like a rag doll and smacked your gun away. You were frozen in place. His hand grazes your cheek and settles on your chin. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?! “Now love, I suggest you put the water gun down, before someone gets hurt.” He says .You stare in his beautiful blue eyes for a while, and use this opportunity to win. You make your whole body burn and he takes his hands off your face with a jump. “As I said before, NOT TODAY SATAN!” You yell and grab a water balloon from the bucket behind you and smack it in his face. It bursts and the face he makes was priceless. Eyebrows furrowed, mouth spitting out the water and his eyes blinking madly.

“You are gonna pay for this (Y/N)” he shouts. “ooo, I can’t wait” you say with a wink. He smiles and pounces on you knocking you to the ground and you grab a discarded water gun on the floor. His body is now on top of yours. Chest to chest, face to face. There was a small space between you guys, if you leaned up a little bit, you would be able to close the distance between you two. You laughed and tried to will that thought away. You saw his eyes flicker to your lips. “I told you were going to pay for that” he says, panting. You quickly switch positions so you are on top. His hands settle at your hips and you try your best to ignore it. You point the gun to his face and laugh.  “I think the clear winner is me” you state. He laughs and says “if this happens whenever you win” he says gesturing the position you guys are in, “I would challenge you to many more games”. You had a dumb smile on your face, thinking of a response. “I assure you, it will result in something more than just this” you say, trying your best to act flirtatious. He hummed in approval and proceeded to lick his lips. Before either of you could do anything, you heard the elevator bell ping.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY TOWER?” You hear Tony yell as he enters through the elevator along with Steve and Thor. His brows are raised as he surveyed the damage. There was water, paint and mud everywhere. The furniture was scattered and people were at each other throats. Everyone turns towards the voice. “Um, (Y/N) why are you on top of my brother.” You hear Thor ask. You blush, glance Loki who had a mischievous smirk. You open your mouth to answer but was cut off by Tony.“also… WHAT THE SHIT?”

-END-

Tags: @cleolemonfanfiction

[mss4msu]

Just Give Me A Chance

Summary: You and Steve have been secretly seeing each other. When he returns from a mission, you let him know that either the secrets end, or your relationship ends.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 2433

Warnings: Language, Angst, Mention of Blood and Wounds

A/N: This was written for @marvelellie‘s 1k celebration. Congrats on 1k!!   I wrote the angst when I was in an angst mood, so it’s REAL angsty.

Your alarm went off pulling you out of a deep sleep. You rolled over and flung your arm out to reach over Steve, but it hit an empty bed. You forced your eyes open and saw Steve putting on his belt and grabbing his bag.

“Steve? Where are you going?” you asked groggily.

“Just got called for a mission. It should be a quick one. It’s just me, Bucky, and Nat. Go hit the gym. Sam will be there waiting for you. Just because I’m on a mission doesn’t mean you can slack off in the gym.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you pulled yourself out of bed and walked to the closet.

“Have a good day,” Steve pulled you in and kissed you on the forehead.

“You too, be safe out there,” you replied smiling.

“Always am,” Steve saluted you.

“Liar,” you laughed back as he shut the door, knowing full well Steve would sacrifice himself for anyone if he had to.

You changed and trudged down to the gym and greeted Sam with a yawn.

“(Y/N), you’re late,” Sam looked down at his watch.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” you wiped the sleep from your eyes.

“Shape up. Even though Steve isn’t here, he left a detailed plan for your training today and clear instructions for me to push you to your limits to see your progress.”

“Great,” you said through gritted teeth.

You got on the treadmill and Sam set your resistance and speed. As you began to run, you began to think. While you and Steve knew that you were seeing each other, no one else on the team did. Steve had thought it best that you keep things between the two of you so that the team wouldn’t think he was favoring you in training and mission assignments just because he was favoring you in the bedroom. When you had first joined the team, the two of you had been very flirtatious, and when you finally mustered the courage and proposed a date you had been teased by every single person on the team. Steve was quickly teased too, and you both couldn’t go anywhere together without murmured whispers following you. Steve told you he would agree to the date, so long as the team didn’t know. He began to work you harder in trainings, believing that it would show the team that you had no special treatment, and he convinced you that the harder he pushed you, the less people would think you were actually together. While it had been fun and sexy to sneak around in the beginning, Steve’s rigorous schedule for you soon had everyone believing he loathed you, which didn’t feel any better than their whispers that you were in love. While you thought it was bullshit, you were too afraid that telling him you wanted to go public would mean losing him.

“Alright, (Y/N), enough cardio. Steve has you lifting today and trying to max out different machines.”

“Fantastic,” you muttered angrily. He better come back to this machine prepared to give me a full body massage, you thought to yourself.

You pushed yourself to your limits in every single drill and lift Sam directed you to do.

Sam checked through the list he had from Steve, “Ok, (Y/N), that’s it for the day. Good work.”

“Oh that’s it?” you asked sarcastically.

“No talking back. Steve was very clear that I should not tolerate your sarchasm.”

“Of course he fucking was,” you muttered, “Steve loves making rules.” (Steve had made very clear rules for your relationship. Any overnight visits happened in your room so he could act like he was delivering a mission to you if someone saw him leave. During hangouts or meals in public spaces, you had to be joined by at least one other person if you were to sit next to each other, otherwise you had to have at least one seat seperating you at all times. He was very clear that there were to be no offsite meals together, ever, because the public could easily snap a picture of you two and start even more issues. There could be no physical contact between the two of you unless it was in the gym and it was absolutely necessary. The list of rules went on. He had written out a copy and told you to keep it on your bedside table.)

“Whatever that is supposed to mean,” Sam replied, “Go shower and cool off.”

“Yes, sir,” you saluted him sarcastically and left before he could scold you.

You were toweling off your hair when you heard a frantic knock on your door.

“(Y/N)! Hurry up in there and hurry to the med center! There were complications on the mission!” Sam yelled from outside your door.

“Fuck, I’ll meet you there!” You yelled, grabbing the closest clean clothes you could find and sprinting to the medical center.

As you pushed the door open you saw Bucky grunting in pain as a bullet was pulled from his shoulder, Natasha was getting her bleeding leg bandaged, and Steve was unconscious with an IV of saline.

“What the fuck happened??” you yelled anxiously, running to Steve’s bedside.

“There were more Hydra agents than we bargained for,” Bucky grunted as another bullet was pulled from his flesh arm.

“At least we all got out of there alive, which is more than can be said for them,” Natasha said, wincing as tried to sit up in her bed.

“So much for an easy mission,” you said aloud, instantly realizing the mistake you had made.

“Easy mission?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow as Bruce bandaged up his shoulder.

“I saw Steve leave as I was going to the gym because he wanted me to know that he wasn’t going to be there for my training and he said it should be no problem,” you rambled in one breath.

“Well, it was supposed to be, but it obviously wasn’t,” Tony said, checking everyone’s vitals. “Barnes and Romanoff, you two are good to go if you’d like to recover in your rooms for more comfort.”

“Any word on when Steve will be awake?” you asked nervously.

“He was shoving Nat and I out of the way from a sniper when he was attacked from behind and knocked out. But he’s a super soldier, so it should wear off soon,” Bucky replied, hoisting himself off the bed to leave.

“Why are you asking?” Natasha asked with a smirk, as Bruce and Sam helped her off her bed.

“I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for the workout he made Sam give me this morning,” you tried to cover up.

“Well, you can wait in here for him to wake up if you want,” Tony said, holding open the door for Bucky.

“Yeah, I think I will,” you replied, pulling up a chair to Steve’s bed as everyone left the medical center.

As you sat you began to think about what had happened that day. You woke up and got a kiss and a promise from Steve, which was very good. Then you went to the gym and had to do an intense workout to keep up your cover, which was annoying. Then you were told that Steve was hurt in the line of duty, which was very bad. Finally, by being concerned about Steve, you raised suspicion about your relationship, but were not able to confirm or deny anything, which was gut-wrenching. The more you thought about the progression of the day, the more angry and sick you felt.

You were so livid, you didn’t even notice that Steve’s eyes had blinked open. His hand slowly moved on top of yours, causing you to jump.

“What the fuck?!” you yelled out.

“(Y/N)? What happened?”

“Bucky said you pushed he and Nat out of the way to save them, and then you got attacked from behind and got knocked the fuck out,” you spit at him.

“Ok. What’s wrong, (Y/N)?”

“Everything. Everything between us is fucking wrong.”

“Why is it wrong? What do you mean? What happened?” He asked you with confusion in his eyes and in his voice.  

“Steve, I’m fucking tired of this bullshit. Every day I sit around fucking waiting for you. Waiting for you to come to my room, waiting for us to be alone in private, waiting for you to fucking tell your friends, OUR friends, the truth about our relationship and you never fuckign do. Then today I had to fucking sit around waiting to see if you would actually wake up again! You wanted to keep our relationship all secretive so as to not disrupt the flow of the team, well guess what, that means I have no fucking clue what I’m allowed to feel or what I’m supposed to feel or what I even fucking want to feel. You fucking went out on a mission and did the fucking hero thing and almost got yourself fucking killed. And guess what, if you died, no one would fucking know about us. I’m here concerned about you and getting fucking questions from Bucky and Nat about why I care and I can’t fucking answer it because I can’t let them know about us. There isn’t even really an us is there, though? Is that always your master plan? Never fully commit to a woman so that in the event of a near-death tragedy less people get hurt? That’s some real fucking bullshit, Captain. What, so you die and then I’m stuck grieving by myself and everyone wonders why the fuck I took it so hard because it’s not like we were even a couple. Fuck everyone thinks you hate me because of how hard you push me in training. This is a fucking bullshit relationship, Steve, and fuck I’m sick of it. I don’t even think you’re worth it anymore. I’m done with whatever the fuck it is that we were doing here.”

“(Y/N), please. Don’t say that,” Steve’s eyes were red and there were tears streaming down his face. “Oh, now you’re going to fucking cry? No one is here Steve, stop fucking acting. But amazing performance, Cap. Remind me to buy some fucking war bonds from you,” you slow clapped at him.

“I’m not fucking acting,” his ripped the saline IV from his hand so he could use it to wipe his dripping nose.

“Ha. Why should I fucking believe that? You’ve lied to me before, like this morning when you said this mission would be easy. And our whole relationship is basically a fucking lie, so why the fuck would I believe you now? Remember when two months ago you said, ‘(Y/N), we’ll tell the team soon I promise,’? I can’t believe shit you say.”

“(Y/N), I’m sorry.” “Steve, I really don’t care.”

“(Y/N), please. I need you to believe me. I need you to trust me. I need you to love me.”

His blue eyes pierced yours and sent a shiver up your spine. You were in too much of an angry haze to give in now, and you weren’t even sure if you wanted to.

“Love?” you spit at him.

“Yes. (Y/N), I love you. None of this is fake for me.”

“Ha! How is it not fake when you act like you fucking hate me every day until you come to my room at night?”

“(Y/N), I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you. I made all those rules for us, because I saw how everyone made fun of you when you first asked me out and I was afraid that they would ruin this relationship. I was afraid that if they continued to make fun of us for dating, you would give up on me. I was afraid that they would cause the end of us. I had no idea that it would be my rules that would push you away.”

Steve was now sobbing, and you felt your anger start to subside.    

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Steve, I can’t keep living like this. I don’t want us to be a secret. I can’t worry about you all by myself without being able to confide in anyone.” Now you were crying too.

“(Y/N), I promise it won’t be. Shit, I’ll call everyone in here right now and tell them. Please, Please, just give me a chance.”

You were staring at your lap as you took deep breaths in and out as Steve held your hand tightly.

You finally looked up and met Steve’s eyes. Both of you had tears running down your cheeks.

“Fine. You will get a chance. But you have to call them all in here now, just like you said.”

Steve broke into a smile. “Deal,” he pushed the ‘Avengers Assemble’ button on his watch.

Soon the room was filled to the brim with every member of the team within a 5 mile radius. Those that couldn’t make it physically were brought in on Skype.

“Everyone, I have an important announcement,” Steve told them all, “(Y/N) and I are dating. We have been for months and we have kept it a secret so that there would be no ideas of favoritism and so that no one would make fun of us,” Steve trailed off.

“Anything you want to add?” he whispered to you.

“Nope,” you whispered back, beaming at Steve.

The room broke into laughter and applause.

“About fucking time you actually told us,” Bucky said, shaking your hand.

“What do you mean?” you asked, confused.

“We’ve literally known for months,” Nat replied, gently patting Steve on the shoulder with a smile.  

“Why else would you have always have had those ridiculously intense workouts?” Sam said with a laugh.

“Plus, I’ve seen Cap sneaking out of your room in the morning,” Tony tousled Steve’s hair. “I have late nights in the lab, not much gets past me,” he winked at you.

“Well fuck us,” you laughed, unable to believe you had just been so mad at Steve for something everyone had already known.

“We don’t need to, you have each other,” Nat winked at you.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Bruce said, looking around the room and nodding towards the door.

“Yes, please do,” Steve replied, the pupils of his eyes dilating as he licked his lips at you.

You giggled and kissed Steve, not caring that everyone in the room was watching.

Permanent Tag List:

@sophiealiice

[randomrichards]

THE BEST MOVIE MOMENTS OF 2018:

HONORABLE MENTION:

The Opening/Closing Credits from BUDDIES

I’m putting this as honorable mention because this is an older movie recently rereleased.

The first film about the AIDS Crisis, Buddies strikes at the heart with its opening credits with a typed list of AIDS victim up to 1985. Set to a mournful score by Jeffrey Olmstead, the never ending list of lives cut short puts you in tears.

Alex Honnold faces Boulder Problem in FREE SOLO

Most thrillers can only wish they could be as gripping as in the moment when Alex Honnold maneuver’s his way through the most challenging section of El Capitan Wall without rope in this Documentary.

Ray Offers Wisdom from Mid90s

“If you looked in anybody else’s closet, you wouldn’t trade your shit for their shit.”

Ray (Na-kel Smith) and his friends may not be the best role models for the impressionable Stevie (Sunny Suljic), but in this moment, Ray teaches him a lesson in perspective.

Glenn Close’s performance in THE WIFE

I’m not referring to any moment. Just Glenn Close’s acting. She speaks more volumes with her face than most actresses could with dialogue.

10)        The Beach Scene from ROMA

Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) is an extraordinary woman. Sure, her life hanging towels and cleaning dog poo doesn’t seem like anything special. But like many lower working-class people, she endures. Boy does she endure a lot of shit in this movie. Not only does her deadbeat boyfriend ditch her to practice martial arts, but her baby is born dead. Despite all this, she not only continues her work, but she shares a close bond with the family. She showcases this bond and her strength when a fun day at the beach goes horribly wrong.

When Paco (Carlos Peralta) and Sofi (Daniela Demesa) swim too far out, Cleo walks into the ocean to save them despite not knowing how to swim. We watch in dread as she faces severe waves to find the kids, the camera always close to her.

This scene also contains a beautiful scene of the family hugging Cleo when she tears up over losing her baby. Seeing them all huddled together in front of a bright white sun captures the heart.

9)         “A Place Called Slaughter Race” from RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET

Admit it, it’s fun to take pot shots at Disney Tropes. Hell, even Disney gets in on the fun. And boy do they seize on every moment to mock Princess tropes when Vanellope Von Shweetz (voiced by Sarah Silverman) encounters the Disney Princesses. Of course, it helps that Director Rich Moore and Head of Story Jim Reardon creates some of the best episodes of the Simpsons. Though there are many hilarious moments[1], none can hold the candle to Vanellope’s “I Want” song.

As she reflects over a puddle, Vanellope sings about her longing to be in the gritty game “Slaughter Race.” Seeing this little girl perform this lighthearted musical number over a background of riots and dumpster fires is comedy gold. Nearly every element of this number elevates the comedy, from singing shark (with cats and dogs in its mouth) to the creative lyrics (“Am I a baby pigeon spreading wings to soar?/ Is that a metaphor?/Hey, there’s a dollar store”). And the number still finds time to emphasize Vanellope’s fear of hurting Ralph (John. C Reilly).

Kudos to Alan Menken for mocking the trope he (and the late Howard Ashman) introduced to Disney. Just as deserving of Kudos is Silverman, who faced to task of singing in Vanellope’s high pitched voice.

8)         Charlie Loses Her Head from HEREDITARY

With her unusual hobbies, connection to her late grandmother and that clicking sound, you’d assume Annie’s (Toni Collette) daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro) would be the centre of the whole film.[2] Boy, were we in for a surprise.

Spoilers!

When Charlie suffers a peanut allergy reaction, Peter (Alex Wolfe) races her home. On his drive, he sees a mysterious figure in the middle of the dark road. In his attempt to dodge it, he doesn’t see Charlie hanging out the window. Seeing her head slam right into a pole leaves us as traumatized as Peter is. To see them kill off a main character so early in the film is downright shocking. With this death, predictability goes right out the window and we are left uncertain of what direction this film will go.

7)         Neil Armstrong Soars in the X-15 Rocket Plane in FIRST MAN

It’s funny how the most exciting scene in this film isn’t the moon landing. Don’t get me wrong, the scene’s still breathtaking in its realism, but it’s surprising how thrilling the opening scene.

Damien Chazelle hits the ground running with Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) soaring the atmosphere in an X-15 Rocket Plane. He soars higher and higher into the skies until he flies out of earth’s surface and gets stuck in space

Albeit, you know he will be back on earth in time for the moon landing. And yet, I found myself on the edge of my seat, wondering how he’s going to get back to earth. Most of it is thanks to the visual effects, which contains some of the most believable since 2001: A Space Odyssey. The effects leave CGI in the dust with practical effects that look so real, you’d think Gosling was actually flying into space.

6)         The Ferris Wheel Scene from LOVE, SIMON

High School Movies are home to many unforgettable romantic scenes. There’s Samantha (Molly Ringwald) and Jake (Michael Schoeffling) standing over a birthday cake in Sixteen Candles. There’s Patrick (Heath Ledger) singing to Katarina (Julia Stiles) on the bleachers in 10 Things I hate About You. And who can forget Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” outside Diane Court’s (Ione Skye) in Say Anything. Be ready to include the closing scene of Simon (Nick Robinson) waiting on the Ferris wheel for online pen pal Blue from Love, Simon.

After being outed by a student, infuriating his friends for deceiving them in his attempt to stay closeted and abandoned by Blue, Simon makes a plea to meet with Blue face to face on the Ferris Wheel at a carnival. As he rides on the Ferris Wheel, he, fellow classmates and the audience wait in anticipation for Simon’s happy ending.

5)         The Book Heist from AMERICAN ANIMALS

When Spencer Reinhard (Barry Keoghan) and Warren Lipka (Evan Peters) plotted to steal extremely valuable books from the Transylvania University library in Kentucky, they thought they had the perfect heist. With the help of their friends Erick Borsuk (Jared Abrahamson) and Chas Allen (Blake Jenner), they thought they pull off a heist as smooth as Oceans 11.[3]

But reality hits them like a sledge hammer when they try to pull off the heist. Unlike their dreams, Librarian Betty Jean Gooch (Ann Dowd) doesn’t get knocked out with one taser jolt. It also isn’t easy to lug a six-foot book down a flight of stairs. Then there’s the fact the basement has no exit. That’s just a few of many problems they never consider. From then on, we witness them pay a huge price for their hubris and lack of real-world understanding.

Only youths as smart as they are to come up with such a stupid plan.

4)         The Mutant Bear from ANNIHILATION

Biologist Lena (Natalie Portman) and her team find themselves in a quite a bind. After entering the Shimmer, physicist Josie Radek (Tessa Thompson) has barely survived an attack from a mutant alligator and Anthropologist Cassie Sheppard (Tuva Novotny) has been attacked by a bear. Now paramedic Anya Thorensen (Gina Rodriguez) has gone mad and has tied up Lena, Radek and Dr. Ventress (Jennifer Jason Leigh). But when they hear Sheppard’s cries for help, they will soon find Anya is the least of their worries.

Their journey delivers many grotesque, nightmare inducing visuals (especially the slithering intestines.) But the most memorable moment in this film was the image of the helpless crew trapped in a cabin with a mutant bear. Bears are scary enough on their own, but a faceless one is pants spitting meeting. And then you hear it imitate Sheppard’s screams and suddenly you need a new pair of pants.

3)         The Great Snap from AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

The whole Marvel Cinematic Universe had been leading up to this moment. The fact that nearly every character had a moment to shine in this one movie demonstrates the astounding direction of the Russo Brothers. But despite all the epic fight scenes, everyone agrees that this film’s greatest scene is the heroes moment of defeat.

Despite every effort made to stop in, despite outnumbering Thanos and despite Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) sacrificing Vision (Paul Bettany) to destroy the mind stone, Thanos still got all the infinity stones. And with a single snap, Thanos succeeds in wiping out half the universe’s population. One by one, we watch many of our heroes vanish into dust while others watch in helpless horror. But none are more heartbreaking that the moment when Spider-Man (Tom Holland) falls into Tony Stark’s (Robert Downey Jr.) arms, crying “I don’t want to go.” All because some characters couldn’t make the sacrifice needed

Yes, we knew he was going to succeed in the end.[4] And yes, you know most of the heroes won’t stay gone.[5] And yes, their return will likely involve the surviving heroes sacrificing themselves.[6] But the ending still feels powerful despite this knowledge.

It all concludes with Thanos sitting near a cottage, content in his triumph. If the MCU ended here, it would have been a perfect ending. But I’m still curious to see how this will go.

2)         The Closing Close-Up in CAPERNAUM

The closing image of Zain’s (Zain Al Rafeea) face will haunt you beyond the closing credits. Throughout the film, we’ve seen this kid struggle through hell on the streets of Lebanon, trying to protect his sister from their resentful parents and helping an Ethiopian Migrant Worker take care of her son. But when he’s sent to prison for assaulting a pimp who bought his sister, he decides to sue his parents for the crime of bringing him into this miserable world. Writer/director Nadine Labaki never looks away for a second to the brutality of Zain’s world and how it brings out the worst in Zain.

When the film freezes to the image of Zain smiling for a Passport photo, your heart breaks for him as Khaled Mouzanar’s haunting score plays out.

1)         Tish and Fonny’s Walk Through the Park in IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK

No other opening scene has done a better job of putting its audience under its spell than when loving couple Tish (Kiki Layne) and Alfonzo “Fonny” Hunt (Stephan James) stroll through a park holding hands.

There’s beauty in every element of this scene, from Nicholas Britell’s romantic score to the warm looks in the character’s eyes. But what really sells it is James Laxton’s lush cinematography. The colours pop through the yellows and blues on the couple’s clothes and the green of the grass. You are as in love with this couple as they are for each other.

Then the film cuts to Tish visiting Fonny in prison, this time the yellow is the prison, the blue is Fonny’s jumpsuit and the green is on Tish’ outfit. From then one, we know why their love is worth fighting for.

[1] Mostly at the expense of Ariel (Jodi Benson)

[2] Especially when she appears so prominently in the advertisements.

[3] As indicated by a fantasy sequence.

[4] Since we know this was going to be a two parter.

[5] Especially when there are already planned sequels to Black Panther, Spider-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy. After all the money Marvel’s got from Black Panther? They’re not going to give up that meal ticket.

[6] What with Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans retiring their characters.