#*trams not trans. fucking hell

[grahamkennedy]

Me, minding my own business: so I was on the train-

Every single person from the American Midwest in unison: at least you have public transport, everyday I must travel 100 miles through the snow to go to Walmart and back home again, my donkey perished on my last trek so be grateful, sheltered European*

*they will always assume you are European

[dilfgmancoolatta]

I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR FIC (UN)FORGETTABLE AND I NEED TO JUST YELL ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD

I think it’s very funny that Gio turned out to be Gman, I did not suspect that at ALL it was such a jumpscare but like absolutely AMAZING

I loved the recreation of the scene where Benrey interrupts Gman while he’s talking to Gordon but with Gordon being the one to do the interrupting, oh my GOD I did not expect that to be recreated at ALL but it was SO GOOD

I found it very funny every time Benrey and Forzen interacted because if it had happened in the original stream it would have just been Scorpy talking to himself LMAO but you did a really good job distinguishing their characters despite there only being a couple minutes of Forzen content

Just all of the general nods and recreations of scenes in the original story were so good I stimmed SO HARD every time it happened oh my god!! Gordon teleporting behind the door into the test chamber and asking Benrey for ID. Benrey arguing with Gman over Chuck E Cheese being an entertainment center or restaurant. I cant think of anything else right now but oh my GOD it was so funny

I also like how in character they were even outside the context of previous RTVS bits, and it was still HILARIOUS. Benrey and Gordon fucking around with Gman in the tram scene absolutely FLOORED ME I was reading it at like 2 am when everyone else in my house was asleep and I was dying trying not to laugh and wake everyone up

Also I find it very funny that the video game was like “yeah Gordon so I’m gonna trap you here for 6 years and leave your entire family to wonder if you’re dead and slowly take all of your memories one by one until you forget even your sons name” but then it realizes he’s trans and is like “oh wait. I gotta hook him up with T tho.” LMAO

I also liked the genuine mystery of not knowing if that’s Benreys Gordon or not. Like, I had kinda a feeling but there were so many red herrings that it was genuinely a shock to find out that he had been finger spelling Joshua!! The twists!! The turns!! And it makes perfect sense that Benrey wouldn’t recognize Gordon after 6 years of being fucked up by a haunted video game, T, and depression!! My man’s tortured!! And the idea of the game slowly replacing Gordon’s memories with Gordon Freeman’s makes SO much sense oh my GOD

The fact that Gordon became physically less and less human over this time makes so much sense too. I mean bro has been exposed to so much Xen radiation and shit over the years it’s a miracle bro didn’t grow a third arm

Benreys struggle of trying to keep the fact that nothing is real from the ai was also so interesting?? Like everyone had such an interesting arc over the course of the story it was just so well written holy shit!!

POOR JOSHUA!! My little man got his bio dad taken away from him and now his other one- the chapters centered around him broke my fucking HEART. I wanna see him get reunited with them again so bad but I get not being able to finish the fic, life gets in the way you know and honestly it’s impressive you were able to write as much as you did!! You wrote a fucking novel-length fanfic with interesting plot, characters, and story completely for free??? Like what the hell?? You’re incredible and I hope ur proud of your work!!

Thank you so much for writing this incredible fic, I had such a fun week or so reading this before bed. I actually clicked on it by accident while looking for Ultrakill fanfics in someone’s bookmarks haha, but thank god I did!! I don’t think I’ve ever been this pulled in by a fic, and it was so satisfying to see it mostly finished!! Thank you so much for your work, I hope you have a wonderful day :]

Oh my god you’re gonna make me cry!! Thank you so much!!!! I’m gonna keep this screenshotted 5ever ok

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

hhhhh i got bored so here's dumb, like. summaries. or whatever. of all of tengoku's games. uhhhh. enjoy i guess.

tengoku karate man: why are the lyrics so hard to understand-

rhythm tweezers: i. REALLY don't think vegetables should be growing hair. why isn't this more concerning. also why are they alive what-

marching orders: fgtgychfhf GIRLS-

spaceball: why are the zoom outs such a focal point. you can't rely on visuals in marching orders either-

clappy trio: wow can't believe rhythm heaven said trans rights

tengoku remix 1: okay but like. was the clappy trio always called the clappy trio like. even when the conductor was part of it. do they not know how numbers work-

sneaky spirits: counting: the game

samurai slice origins: counting: the game but it's actually fun- w a i t . if you get enough inputs right. the wandering samurai's eye glows blue. SANS UNDERTALE IS THAT YOU-

rat race: i got nothing

sick beats: bootleg doctor mario

bon odori: AND SOOOO WE TURN AROUUNNND AND DONDO PANPA, HAAAAAAA, BON ODORIIIII- DONDO PANPA, DONDO PANPA, DON PAN PAN- DONDO PANPA, DONDO PANPA, DON PAN PAN- DUH DUH DUH, DUH DUH DUH DUH *silent pan pan*

remix 2: why. of all games. does THIS have randomization?

wizard's waltz: 3/4: the game

showtime: s w i n g - yes i know sneaky spirits and bon odori are also in swing time. it's more noticeable here tho

bunny hop: what is it with japan and rabbits and space-

tram & pauline: ,,, i'd make a furry joke but actually like. when i posted that one meme about how rhythm heaven girls are better than real life girls i was talking to someone in the comments and they were like "how old is pauline" and i. REALLY don't know how to feel about that-

space dance: CHAR-LATE DITZY DOWN PU-PU-PU-P U N C H

remix 3: KOI NO MIROKU, KOI NO TSUKI DEE- uhhhhhhh that's all i got romanization wise-

quiz show: no ♥️

night walk: this is a reference to a. thing. that. plays music. or something. idk really. it's called the play-yan tho so. yeah

power calligraphy: so is this in swing. cuz the practice music sounds swung but like. it's not with the other swing games in remix 6. so

polyrhythm: ,,, at one point i had a whole fuckin' HEADCANON for the widget stuff and i just remembered that- fuck 😔

rap men: seems gay to meeeeee

tengoku remix 4: okay but this is just like. super good. why don't people talk about it more. it's not too repetitive or anything and it also bops

bouncy road: ah man it's adhd hell

ninja bodyguard: adhd hell continues

toss boys: is this polyamory- also uh. japanese. idk i can't remember remix 6 toss boys super well right now

fireworks: "it's round, ooh~" thanks silver. idk what i'd do without that translation

tap trial: the giraffe is both the worst part,,, and the best part-

(somehow i. forgot. remix 5. just like. completely? it's like. an anime opening tho. so. yeah)

snappy trio: there's an unused four on the floor version of this

bon dance: DONDO PANPA PANPA DONDO, PAN PANPA PAN-

cosmic dance: i. is this rhythm hell- why are the cosmo dancers in rhythm hell-

rap women: lesbians

turbo tap trial: the camel should've been used

remix 6: aw man surely this is it right- dAMNIT-

tengoku karate man 2: tempo down

rhythm tweezers 2: adhd hell resumes

ninja reincarnate: tengoku really did look at people with adhd and go "fuck you" huh-

night walk 2: this is another reference to the play-yan. apparently. idk i just think killing play-yan's funny-

marcher 2: i got nothing

tengoku remix 7: 1 + 2 + 4 = 7

bouncy road 2: now this. this is true adhd hell-

toss boys 2: yay they aren't in the void anymore, good for them

polyrhythm 2: no wait. THIS is true adhd hell-

spaceball 2: thank god for megamix mods, now i can experience tempo go brr

sneaky spirits 2: don't think this was. the best. color choice

tengoku remix 8: the overall slowest remix. it's like. 108.5 bpm or something like that

,,, yeah i'm tired-

[bunnygrl-femme]

Lol you’re really out here willing to throw “cis” feminist under the bus as if “cis” libfems aren’t the only thing you trannies have to be greatful for. You think sane people are going to look at whole ass men and think you’re women? Nah. Do it, male. Try and see how normal people react.

Did you even Read the article? It critiques cis-feminist's handling of trams women's issues. It critiques a 30 year old movie and cis-feminist's inability to grapple with their transphobia. Liberal, white, "girlboss" feminists and radical, transmisogynist feminists have that shit in common.

This ask exemplifies the bioessentialism and trans-homophobia that TERFs have for non straight trans women. Fuck you and yours, to hell and back.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - A/B/O Dynamics

*** Both are Alphas *** Alpha Isak & Omega Even *** Alpha Even & Omega Isak *** Bonus Fic

***** Both are Alphas *****

(2019) For Your Little Trooper by colazitron, nofeartina (15k words) - It’s bad enough that he has to sit here with his hand around his dick, milking his knot, in the school toilets no less - but apparently now he has company. Or the one where they meet while knotting in the school toilets.

(2019) (WIP) Moondust Will Cover You by Laika_the_husband (22k words) - Last update March 2020. This is actually a werewolf au. Isak is an alpha, but his body is an omega. Basically, a trans werewolf. Who has a human for a best friend. As if that wasn't complicated enough, one night he meets a guy he's really kind of falling for - but he's an alpha too.

***** Alpha Isak & Omega Even *****

(2018) The Origin and the Fulfillment by evakuality, hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (81k words) - Isak, an alpha, and Even, an omega, meet on the tram on their way to school. From there, they deal with first heats, pining, miscommunication and lots and lots of tension. They both have issues with their own, and other people’s, assumptions about being alpha and omega.

(WIP) (2019) Just You And I by shk_1991 (5k words) - Last update Oct 2019. Isak Valtersen (26, Alpha) has been with his boyfriend Even Bech Næsheim (28, Omega) for 5 years and wants to take their relationship to the next level. It all goes as planned until... 

(2018) (WIP) Yellow Blinds by Ebraheart (34k words) - Last update feb 2019. Isak is in first year university studying Bio-Chemistry. He's proud to have survived his hectic high school years, managed to keep his sanity and his close knit friends group, and presenting as an Alpha at 15 blessedly hadn't added to his worries. Now 19 and privately curious about the same sex, what happens when Isak meets Even, a second year Uni student that ticks all his boxes and instigates in Isak a biological reaction that he can't seem to get to the bottom of.

***** Alpha Even & Omega Isak *****

(2017) småfolk by stringsinmelody (SERIES, 5 FICS) - Slight a/b/o undertones featuring their children.

(2018) A Thousand Isaks by TheFilthWithin (Flatfootmonster) (2.1k words) - Isak is pregnant and he is starting to feel uncomfortable with his body.

(2017) Pulls Me In Enough to Keep Me Guessing by plumclouds (2.2k words) - Even partakes in a traditional hunt. He doesn't expect anything to come out of it, but the night has many surprises in store. They're all named Isak. 

(2020) sleep tight by isaksforelsket (2.2k words) - Even and Isak are childhood friends, comfortable with each other. But ever since Even had presented as an Alpha he had started to feel different about his best friend. It all changes during a sleepover.

(2020) the scent of you by isaksforelsket (3k words) - In which Isak is a male Omega in a boarding school filled predominantly with Alpha's. But no matter how excited he is to attend the prestigious school, he simply cannot shake off the feeling of dread. Plus Alpha P Chris

(2017) Don't leave your pregnant omega home alone! by cloudowl (3.3k words) - Isak is left home alone for too long. Even comes back and makes it all better again, even if it was his fault to begin with.

(2017) Chapter 1 of Parallel Universes by Eccentricstate (3.5k words) - Everyone thought Isak was a beta. A straight beta to be exact. Why wouldn't they? He doesn't have much of a scent and he hooks up with chicks on the regular. It's obvious that everyone would think that he's a straight beta. It was what he wanted everyone to believe.

(2020) Pups by evak1isak (5k words) - Even, an Alpha, and Isak, his omega, have been together for years now. So maybe it's time to become a family… if they can.

(2018) yellow by staylucky (9.7k words) - An intriguing Omega moves to Oslo and sets up shop. Even, dealing with his own demons, finds a distraction in Isak which develops into more, but Isak has his own secrets. Are people broken forever?

(2018) Scorpio Rising by skamsnake (12k words) - It’s one of those places where you check your decency at the door. Where you give over to your biology. To what you were made for. It’s the place to be. Or, alpha Even meets a very special omega one fateful night.

(2017) Chasing Your Love by givemesumaurgravy (33k words) - Isak is a shy first year who seems like he knows who he is. Even is a self-assured third year who thinks he's got himself and his life figured out. Turns out neither of them have a fucking clue.

(2018) I Wasn't Expecting That by RobronSugdenDingle (54k words) - Isak's always said that life is now. But after a drunken one night stand, Isak quickly learns that one small child can change his life. Life is no longer now, life is stressful, complicated and in desperate need of a clean up. And whatever you do..... Don't fall in love with your best friend...

(2017) You Are Everything I Have Never Been by staylucky (78k words) - Isak Valtersen is an unpresented, soon-to-present omega who is convinced his best friend Jonas Vasquez is his alpha mate until he meets a very charming and persuasive new alpha, Tall Stranger aka Even Bech Naesheim, making him question everything.

(2017) A Universe of Our Own by wordsarelifealways (112k words) - Isak isn't even 18 yet, but he's resigned himself to a life of illegal suppressants and misery. After watching his omega mother completely fall apart after the father of her only child walked out, Isak knows he wants nothing to do with being an omega. And no tall, blonde, adonis of an alpha is going to change that.

(WIP) (2019) Wilds Of Nature by TheFilthWithin (Flatfootmonster) (34k words) - Last update July 2019. In a society where Alphas and Omegas are expected to act in very specific ways, Even and Isak don't fit the mold. On their own separate paths, they break away from the community that suffocated them, taking a damaging prejudice towards their complementary and opposite sex with them.

(WIP) (2018) Medically Speaking by Ms_Tassimo (44k words) - Last update May 2020. Working as a hospital porter was not how Even Bech Næsheim saw his life ending up. But here he was; mopping up sick after a stupid mistake. However, the hot doctor with the nice smell? That just about makes up for it. Too bad Dr Valtersen seems like a bit of an asshole with a hell of a chip on his shoulder.

(WIP) (2018) You, Me, and Jellybean Makes Three by wordsarelifealways (94k words) - Last update Oct 2019. A sequel. the boys find out that Isak is pregnant.

(WIP) (2018) A Different Breed by wordsarelifealways (104k words) - Last update Dec 2019 . The Næsheim family: cold, distant, and socially elite. When Even has his worst episode yet it's the final straw. His parents want him on a new drug to finally straighten him out; the only problem? It's been known to leave patients infertile. Solution? Hire an omega to have Even's child before he's no longer capable of having one.

***** Bonus Fic *****

(2017) i will wrap you in my arms and you will know that you are saved by staylucky (3.5k words) - Not an ABO fic but it's slightly influenced by it. During a lazy morning in bed, Isak becomes transfixed by Even's teeth.

[docwhal]

✩ mettaton ✩ good luck getting me right, hotshot 💓

MEGATRONN

favorite thing about them

big gay,, sexie,, TRAMS

least favorite thing about them

moderately sad story? could have been Fucking Gutwrenching but,,, no. left that one to me (BAD FUCKING IDEA)

favorite line

IDK the part where he reads the bible ;))

brOTP

alphys is momfriend so i feel weird puttin her here,,, hes like frisks weird aunt/uncle,,,, MMMAYBE SANS? i feel dirty... but like his dynamic with sans while sans is trying to protect papyrus little baby innocence from this fuckbot is cute as hell

OTP

mettak a ard GOD please,,, i just want big robot boy to protect stupid twink ink boy i want him to give mettaton a break from fame and i want mettaton to save him from bad castle

nOTP

i actually think papyrus/mettaton can be hella cute (hypersexual people being respectful to outwardly non-sexual people is like fucking heroin, they can be gentle to eachother and i Like that) so i guess,,,, i dont haveee one? but hes not a girl so. thats the only thing that bother s meE?

random headcanon

tram bs TRANS

unpopular opinion

he feels hella bad about kinda ruining burgerpants dreams and eventually tries to get him a gig acting in something small until eventually they end up acting in something together

song i associate with them

HMMMMM theres lots, but @pansygoat n i decided together that napstablook singing sufjan steven’s tonya harding about him would be so,, sAD

favorite picture of them

OH MY GOD WHERE IS IT i cant find it but the bust of his torso where the tongue is out is so SoFTTHANK UUUU

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

transition update

number ‘who’s even counting tbh???’

So yesterday was my endocrinology visit and damn it felt like that day lasted a whole week. It is a feeling I get a lot lately, like time has slowed down, and I don’t know if it has anything to do with dissociating, but anyway. Basically I got all of my papers, including the final one from the sexologist/psychiatrist on Monday, and I was ready to go get the prescription.

I can try to translate my T letter and the medical conclusion from the psychiatrist but basically it says that I am transgender (F64.0 in ICD-10), that I have persistent gender dysphoria and no conditions that might prevent me from going on T. It also talks about my anxiety disorders and depression and autism but they are listed as things that should not prevent me from starting T either so anyway.

I had to leave my favorite lecture early to get to the clinic in time and I was kinda pissed about it but didn’t complain. Then we had some problems with money, cause we are still broke and my dad had to ask my grandparents to send us some. And I feel icky about it cause they still don’t know why I’m going to all these doctors and they did pay for some of it. Basically at this point I have already spent a thousand dollars on this. Great.

And then it was even worse cause the line got delayed and I spent an hour and fifteen minutes sitting in the corridor waiting for my [birthname] to be called out. It was a nightmare. I chewed my lips so much they started bleeding and my palms were the sweatiest they’ve ever been. When she (the endocrinologist) finally invited me in I felt like I was going to pass out.

So I waited for more than an hour but the actual meeting took like 15 minutes. She went through all of my papers, asked me about my medical history and stuff, measured my blood pressure and typed A Lot of stuff into the computer. The only issue she deemed worthy of discussion was my anemia and basically T should help with that, even if I won’t take iron supplements (but stick to my iron-rich diet). Also T might (just might, no way a guarantee) improve some of my other symptoms like low blood pressure and fatigue. 

Then we talked about the form and she said that yes, starting on gel is better than starting on injections, cause it’s a smoother change, and that if in three months I will want to switch to injections, we can do that. She said the only difference that her patients tend to report between gel and shots is that periods might take longer to stop but I’m skinny as heck and apparently that means I will probably see no difference. She said she is pretty confident my period will stop within three months.

She then proceeded to list all the changes I can expect in three months and I started laughing cause I knew all of it already. A thing I really liked is that she said I have really small breasts and they will likely get even smaller on T and I should wait for that cause I’m a definite candidate for keyhole top surgery. Also it is pretty rare for someone my age but there is a tiny chance I might grow or go up a size in shoes. I won’t get my hopes high for that but damn... would be nice.

And that was it! She gave me three months worth of prescriptions and told me to get another blood test done and come back in three months. But the time I walked out of the room I was literally shaking. Fuck knows if it’s because of excitement or because I haven’t eaten for like four hours at that point but it was weird. Like... really weird. I kept staring at the prescription and rubbing my fingers together (which is a thing I do to deal with dissociation) and I couldn’t believe it was real.

On our way back I almost started crying in a tram cause I was so freaking emotional and it still didn’t feel real. And there was so much stuff going through my mind and it’s still happening. Like I have a biochem quiz in a couple hours and I can’t be bothered to even look through my notes, I am too engulfed in this.

My dad kinda ruined my mood when we were walking home from the tram cause he told me to not talk about it around mum and I freaked out like god damnit, will she ever get over this? And he again made it about himself like how difficult it is for him to have a trans child and how ‘I got what I wanted’ so I can’t complain now and fuck... it upset me a lot. Like he still can’t understand that this is not my whim or something, and that I have fears too, and him constantly asking me ‘what if you’re wrong? what if you change your mind?‘ doesn’t exactly help.

Of course I have fears! I am afraid of being wrong or changing my mind, that’s why I went through seven months of waiting and three different doctors confirming my “diagnosis”. I am afraid of people rejecting me and my grandparents disowning me and never talking to me again, that’s why I still haven’t come out to them. I am worried about all legal procedures and whether I will have problems with my legal stay, that’s why I researched the hell out of this. This is on my mind 24/7! It really is. I am constantly running these scenarios in my mind and worrying and thinking about it. This is not a hasty, quick decision.

But yeah basically my parents are still claiming to be allies and accepting while not doing *anything* to support me. Still misgendering, still deadnaming, still making me even more worried and questioning whether I’m really sure, etc. And like, am I ever sure about things? I’m not sure this world is real sometimes. That’s how anxiety disorders work. I just wish they stopped fueling the anxiety disorder!

Well basically now I need to pick up the prescription (which might be a challenge cause so far I can’t find a single pharmacy in my city that sells it lmao) and get my parents to pay for it (it’s around 50$ so uh yeah) and then I’m going to be on T! I am... beyond excited about it, despite the anxiety, like I had a dream today about being on T and I woke up so happy. I will have to come out to my mates in uni now... super worried about it. Eh. And to my grandparents. Even bigger Eh. But. But! Things are getting better. They are.

So I’m gonna quit complaining and try to stay happy.

[problemeule]

Specifically, I’m thinking about my experience as a trans person ™. How privileged I’ve been so far. The only uncomfortable slightly transphobic thing I’ve experienced to this day was in 2015/2016 (when I was still using jodel & and a baby uni student).

I’d take the tram to uni every day, like I still do. I didn’t have a good sense of the tram time table yet, plus I was really anxious about being late, so often I’d have to wait for about 5mins. The weather was a bit warm, just enough to wear a sweater without a jacket. On the opposite side, at the tram stop for the other direction, some teenagers were doing idk what, waiting for a bus? Just hanging out until school started? Keep in mind, this was 7:15-7:30 am. They were pretty typical teenagers, giggling over their phones. Annoying this early in the morning, but it’s not their fault that I’m a misanthropic not-morning person, so I mostly pop in my earphones and mind my own business. One day, I notice them whispering and kind of looking at me. I ignore it — it’s probably my social anxiety anyways, I thought. This kind of continues for a while, though they’re not there every day. One day, I start to hear what they’re saying. They’re basically wondering ‘what’ I am. I’m kind of flustered — while I knew I wasn’t Cis, I hadn’t experimented with pronouns irl yet, and didn’t know what I’d be comfortable with. I just get on the tram, and think: they can’t have been talking about me, there’s no way I pass as male, how could I even think they’re talking about me, that’s so entitled... Anyway, this kept up for about two weeks, I think. And it became increasingly clear that I really was the one they were talking about. Except they weren’t content just whispering, and kept increasing the volume of their discussion, which was never really more than ‘bUt iS tHiS pErSoN a mAn oR a WoMan’, and sometimes discussing my clothes. Eventually they were talking quite loudly, so they definitely knew I could hear them. In fact, most of the people waiting could hear them, and see them ‘inconspicuously’ watching me, and were basically eyeing both them and me, wondering what the hell was going on this early in the fucking am. So, I gathered all my courage, defeated my escalating social anxiety and directly stared at them, kind of sardonically. They kept talking for a while before they noticed, and then just kind of giggled and finally, blessedly shut up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them again. Afterwards, I posted about this on Jodel, and got semi-aggressively asked about my genitals — but hey, those were anonymous people on fucking jodel, and not people staring at me and loudly speculating about me.

Other than that? I’ve been misgendered a couple of times, by friends and strangers alike. Some of the latter should have known better, as typically I meet fellow lgbtq+ peeps through youth group, and pronouns are a staple of those introductions. But hey — that’s okay, yknow? Sucks, but okay. Better than my friends, or my mom. Or on one memorable occasion, myself.

Other than that? My lab partner was absolutely cool with it, all the assistants were cool with it (except one, but he was more concerned about how legit the grade would be — which was what finally kicked me into changing my name & gender at uni admin). More recently, I went to an orchestra rehearsal and introduced myself as Ludwig. Most people ID’d me as female and thought it was my family name, but I corrected them, and besides some uncomfortable stares? No one cared. I think the tuba player thought my name was Ludwiga — I didn’t even know this female version existed? But otherwise, no issues so far. Who knows, I might have to deal with some bullshit when I’m actually coming out to the whole fam, but I’m done terrorizing myself over that. In the long run, I’ll be better off being out than being closeted and wondering what if?

Hmmm I’m having. Thinky thoughts. But my cold is still making it hard to focus.