#*to heal is to let the warmth sink in
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hoppipolla · 11 months ago
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You don't have to force yourself to smile in front of me. Every time you joke, you're the one getting hurt.
KIMI TO NARA KOI WO SHITE MITE MO dir. Matsumoto Hana (2023)
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seekingthestars · 22 days ago
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today i slept in a little and took my cat outside and read 115 pages in a new book and watched two movies and had a nice bath and i know that may not sound like much of a day but i just feel so content and quietly happy, it's really nice 🥹
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strangererotica · 2 months ago
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EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI
James Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x Reader
* Includes primal, breeding, and scent kink • Logan’s dick is so big Reader struggles to take it 🫦 • oral sex (f receiving) • fingering • vaginal sex • Logan’s in beast mode but the fluff is definitely fluffing 💗 *
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Tears bubbled in the corners of your eyes, your lips pressed into a frustrated pout. “It won’t fit,” you whimpered, your voice trembling in defeat. Logan’s broad shoulders curved over you like a shield, every muscle in his body tensed as he demanded restraint of himself.
In spite of how tightly your cunt was sucking at his tip, Logan knew he had to be gentle with you. If he forced himself any deeper, he’d absolutely cause you pain. And that was the last thing he wanted, especially since this was your first time with him…
It was something Logan had anticipated already. He knew he was big, with a thick girth that matched his length. Despite playing with your pussy through your clothes for the last ten minutes and getting you sopping wet, he was still met with resistance the moment he pushed his tip inside you.
“Shh, it’s okay honey,” Logan soothed you. “S’not your fault, alright?” He eased his hips back slowly, carefully removing his tip from your entrance. Logan swiped the pad of his thumb across your cheek, drying a frustrated tear before it could fall. “A tight little pussy’s nothing to cry about, angel,” he grinned reassuringly down at you, pulling you into his arms. “Just means we need to help her relax a little.”
Logan gently guided your back against the couch, sliding down to his knees beside you. One of his hands slid under your ass and down your left thigh, lifting your leg till it was draped over his broad shoulder. The smell of your cunt was intoxicating, stirring every animal instinct inside Logan that he knew he must keep in check. If he lost control, even for a moment, he might hurt you, or worse.
Logan’s self control was immaculate, a skill he’d been forced to acquire through generations of fucking women who didn’t share his strength, and certainly not his ability to heal from whatever consequences a rough fuck could cause.
“You smell like honey,” Logan murmured, nuzzling his nose into the soft warmth of your inner thigh. He used his fingers to delicately spread your lips apart, watching the slick collected there spread between them. Your scent grew stronger as Logan opened you up for himself, his primal need to claim you testing his sense of control. His eyes honed in on the wet cunt just inches from his mouth, dripping with copious, slippery cum. Logan could smell your fertility, the pheromones emitting from your body sending his animal instinct to breed into overdrive.
Logan nestled his head deeper between your thighs, his nose pressed against your bush. He breathed deeply the delicious cocktail of your sweat and cum gathered inside the coarse hair framing your pussy. Logan’s hands were now at his sides in fists, clenching so hard that his fingernails punctured the skin of his palms. He nuzzled into your bush, drawing another breath of your scent inside his nose. Parting his lips, Logan let his tongue dip between your labia, spreading them apart just as his fingers had before. Your thighs trembled around his head, breathy moans leaving your lips as Logan’s mouth explored you. Your fingers went to his hair, lacing in the thick brown strands and holding him in place.
Logan was in absolute bliss, delving his tongue between your folds, slurping loudly as he ate your cum. The animal inside him was finally being sated, fed well at the meal between your thighs, his teeth sinking ever-so-lightly into the plump pout of your lips, wide tongue padding soft against your clit.
Logan’s fingers joined his tongue, entering you easily as he continued to lap at your clit. Watching him work between your thighs, you felt your climax building. Logan pumped his fingers inside you at a brutal pace, the force of his hand meeting your cunt each time his fingers disappeared inside you making you wince. It hurt so good, too good, a feeling of absolute overwhelm that had fresh tears springing to your eyes. As the pressure inside you gave way to climax, tears cascaded down your burning cheeks, your features contorted in ecstasy. A carnal groan of relief poured from your lips as hot slick gushed over Logan’s tongue. He lapped and sucked your juices like a thirsty animal as they dripped down your thighs, chasing every drop as your cum soaked into the cushion beneath you.
His cock was leaking precum onto the floor, his tip red and aching, every instinct in Logan’s body silently screaming at him to fuck a baby into the nearest fertile womb. He slid your thigh off his shoulder but remained between your legs, rising to kneel on one knee as he tugged your hips forward to meet his. Logan’s face and chest were glistening with cum and sweat. He reached for the back of your neck, holding your head in place so your eyes would be on his when he entered you. You felt Logan’s tip press just inside your entrance, his forehead creasing as he willed himself not to selfishly take you as roughly as he wanted. “Alright, baby?” he asked, his voice a choked groan. You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip as Logan sank three inches inside you.
Your cunt accepted him with minimal resistance, till a slight sting caused you to wince and brought Logan to a pause. “Too much?” he panted down at you, and you quickly replied with a forceful “NO. Keep going Logan, please…”
He was trembling all over, the fight between his care for you and his animal need raging. With extreme effort to be gentle, Logan sank another three inches deeper inside you. The breath in your lungs burst out of you as Logan filled you, his hips stilling as he felt the smooth mound of your cervix against his tip. “Look at you, baby,” he murmured proudly. “Takin’ me so deep…I knew you could.”
Your heart skipped at his praise. Knowing Logan was pleased with you was addictive; you needed more. “I want to make you happy,” you uttered softly, your voice timid and small, needy tears gathering on your lashes. Logan grinned down at you, his voice a heady drug as he assured you “sweetheart, you already have…”
He drew his hips backward slowly, then carefully thrust just once inside you. Your whole body jerked at the impact, your eyes squeezed shut, a breathy gasp punched out of you. Logan pulled back and thrust forward again, growling through his teeth. Your pillowy walls were milking him, his heavy balls aching to be drained, eager to breed the fertile womb his tip was wedged against.
Logan exhaled deeply, the scent of your cunt washing over you on his breath. “Can I get you pregnant?” he asked, his eyes boring deep into yours as his cock rested thick and throbbing inside you. Maybe his question would have been too much from anyone else. It was a request that held massive implications…the consequences unavoidable. But coming from Logan, a request to claim your womb as his was…deliciously tempting.
You nodded, watching the tension in Logan’s face soften as he confirmed your consent. It was all so much, so beautiful, his body over yours and inside you, the security you felt wrapped up in his warmth. Your lips quivered into a confident smile, fresh tears of submission and love trickling down your cheeks. “Fill me up,” you gently begged. “Make me yours, Logan. I already am…”
He closed his eyes a moment, the gnawing hunger inside him ready to tear both of you in half if he gave himself over to it. With his hands firmly clutching your shoulders, Logan leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. A low growl left his lips as he surrendered to his need to breed you. Logan buried his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent as his hips propelled forward. He took you as gently as he could, big hands pressing your shoulders back as you arched against the couch. Your legs wrapped around Logan’s waist, ankles crossing behind his back. He rut his hips into yours, smearing the sweat along his happy trail against your belly. Logan’s cock disappeared inside you, his bush matted with your juices, squelching as your crotches met with each punch of his hips. He stroked you as deeply as you could take him, dragging his heavy cock back and forth within the snug grip of your cunt.
Logan growled your name against your ear as his hips stilled against you, the words on his lips fading into a breathy moan as he emptied his sperm between your walls. A metallic sound issued beside your shoulders where Logan held you. Tilting your head, you saw Logan’s claws extended, burrowed into the couch cushions beneath you. His breath punched from his lungs in bursts, sweat dripping from his forehead onto your tits.
Logan collapsed forward, taking care not to crush you beneath him. He held you close, swallowing you up in the curve of his chest, refusing to let go till he was certain the last of his seed had drained from his tip. Logan carefully removed his softening cock from inside you, a thick stream of semen leaking creamy and white from between your lips. He lifted you into his arms, letting you rest and recover, your ear pressed to his heartbeat. As your breathing slowed, Logan looked down to see you peacefully asleep. He placed a soft kiss in your hair, smiling contentedly, grateful to hold you as long as you rested, allowing Nature to take its course as his sperm made its way to your womb…
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azrielsrealmate · 3 months ago
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who cares about you?
azriel x reader
summary: azriel comes home after a long mission, injured and in search for the comfort of his mate arms.
warnings: nudity(? injuries
word count: 2.5k
english isnt my fist language ladies🥶 soo forgive any possible mistake. To this point I don’t know if I should do maybe a masterlist? 👀
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Your heart skips a beat in anticipation, the weariness of the night instantly forgotten as you cross the room to open the door. But the moment you do, that spark of enthusiasm is extinguished, replaced by a deep concern that stabs into you like a dagger, twisting and squeezing your heart.
Azriel stands there, his dark figure outlined against the dimness of the hallway, but it’s his condition that makes the air catch in your lungs. His shadows are agitated, swirling around him with a restlessness that reflects the turmoil within him—they don’t come to greet you as they usually do, they don’t disappear. The blood, mostly dried but still visible, runs from a wound on his brow, trailing down his face to his chin. The smell of iron, mixed with his own scent, is unmistakable. Anxiety has scarred, large hands, and it squeezes your stomach.
“Azriel...” you whisper, the anguish clear in your voice.
But the instant his honeyed eyes meet yours, his expression shifts. The sharp edges soften so as not to cut you, the intensity of his gaze mitigated by something far more tender. With a gentleness that contrasts with his appearance, he brings his hand to your cheek and cups it, his thumb tracing a soft path along your skin.
You lean into his touch, and your eyes flutter closed for just a fraction of a second, your own hand landing on his, as if you could keep that gentle touch there forever. The warmth of his hand is a balm, but not enough to quell the worry growing inside you.
Azriel steps forward, and you remain where you are, and you don’t know how you survived two weeks without seeing him, when the closeness you now share feels like oxygen, you’d suffocate if he stepped away.
You see the conflict in his gaze as you tilt your head back to look at him, the self-loathing he has for worrying you this way. Then, without warning, he dips his head and presses a kiss to your forehead as he opens his side of your bond, which had been closed for those two weeks. The touch of his lips is so soft that you barely feel it, but the intent is clear.
He was fine. He was here. And he doesn’t push you away, he doesn’t shut you out.
But you can’t bear to see him like this, broken, hurt. Ignoring the knot forming in your throat, you throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a desperate hug. His reaction is immediate: a gasp of pain escapes his lips.
You pull away instantly, your brow furrowing into a grimace of anguish. “I’m sorry,” you say, your voice breaking, your hands trembling as you lower them to your sides. But he doesn’t let you pull away any more than necessary, his hand still on your cheek, his gaze fixed on yours with an intensity that makes you tremble.
He sinks onto the edge of the bed, his body clearly exhausted, and you, without wasting a second, hurry to fetch a bucket of hot water and a cloth. The urgency to care for him, to heal each of his wounds, drives you beyond your own fatigue.
When you return to his side, cloth in hand, you prepare to clean the blood from his face, but Azriel, with that dexterity and strength that never seems to leave him, surprises you. Before you can react, he pulls you onto his lap, your thighs pressed against his hips.
“Azriel,” you protest softly, but there’s no real force in your words. Not when his gaze is so close, when his hands keep you in the only place where both of you can breathe easily.
“Shh,” he murmurs, his breath brushing your lips. “Let me hold you... just for a moment.”
And even though you know you should be focused on tending to his wounds, on making sure he’s not more hurt than he appears, you surrender to the warmth of his body for a second.
The warmth of Azriel’s body, wrapped around yours, feels like you’re finally fitting a missing piece into a puzzle. His hands grip your hips as if he fears you might pull away from him at any moment, and the thought seems ridiculous in your mind, all you want is to let him hold you. But the wound on his brow, the dried blood staining his face, pulls you back to reality.
You’re torn between staying like this, lost in the safety of his embrace, and the urgency to tend to his wounds. The weight of the worry is so intense you can barely stand it. You slide a hand along his cheek, brushing aside a loose strand of his dark hair, and refocus on the task at hand.
“Let me clean this,” you whisper, lifting the warm, damp cloth to his face.
Azriel watches you, his dark eyes shining with a mix of emotions you can’t quite decipher. But he doesn’t resist; he simply stays still as you gently clean the blood from his brow, revealing the small but deep wound beneath. Each movement is slow, careful, as if you fear any additional pressure could cause him more pain. Though even if you did, he wouldn’t react.
He gently massages your hips, his hands appreciating the curve, and his eyes drop to your neck, lingering there, clean skin with no marks, the irrefutable proof that he’s been away for a while, because you always bore some hidden hickey or bite marks on your neck. Azriel was possessive, and he didn’t hide it. You could almost swear that he’s holding himself back from burying his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder.
It’s in that moment, as you slide the cloth along his skin with the utmost delicacy, that you feel a tug in your left shoulder. It’s barely noticeable at first, so you ignore it, but as you continue, the pain becomes sharper, a twinge that makes you catch your breath. You try to ignore it again, focusing on Azriel, but he notices. Of course, he notices.
His brow furrows, and the concern deepens in his features. His grip on your hips tightens, pulling you closer to his body. Just slightly. “What’s wrong with your arm?” His voice is low, but there’s no hiding the insistence in it.
“It’s nothing important,” you try to say, attempting to sound convincing as you avert your gaze, turning your attention back to his wound. But Azriel isn’t someone who accepts evasions, and before you can continue, his hand catches yours, stopping you in your tracks.
“Don’t lie to me.”
You sigh, knowing you can’t hide the truth from him. “Training was a bit tougher today,” you confess, trying to sound nonchalant, but the worry in his face forces you to go on. “Gwyn threw a bad punch, and… well, my shoulder has been hurting since then.”
The shadow of a tense muscle appears in his jaw, and you can see him struggling to stay calm. His eyes darken with a mix of guilt and anger, not toward you, but toward the situation. His hand slides from your hip to your left shoulder, with a touch so gentle it almost breaks you completely. It had taken you a long time to accept his gentle touches without bursting into tears.
“You should have told me earlier,” he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper as his fingers caress the sore area. “You could have hurt yourself more.”
You almost let out a sarcastic comment. When it’s him training you, you end up even more sore.
“I didn’t want to worry you,” you choose to respond, your voice just as low, but he shakes his head before you can finish.
“I worry more if you don’t tell me.”
You fall silent, letting his words sink in, feeling the truth in them. But as the weight of his concern and the warmth of his touch envelop you, a spark of resistance ignites within you, a reminder that you’re not someone who simply stands by, even when it comes to him.
“Azriel…” you begin, but he interrupts you, his voice low but determined.
“Let me handle this,” he says, his gaze fixed on yours, and you can see the exhaustion behind his firmness, the lines of fatigue etched into his face. Yet, something in his tone, in the way he asks you to lean on him, provokes an unexpected reaction in you. It’s not just concern; it’s the guilt that seems to consume him, the need to do something, anything, to feel less powerless. It frustrates you, it’s not his duty to take care of you, especially not when you’re the one trying to take care of him.
“What if I don’t want to?” You respond softly, the challenge subtle but clear in your voice. Azriel blinks, the only sign of surprise he allows to show, but he doesn’t release his grip on your hips.
“Why should you carry everything? Why is it always you who has to protect me, who has to take care of everyone?” you continue, your words soft but laden with a weight you know he understands. He doesn’t just take care of you, he takes care of his entire family. And not just by protecting his Court—he’s always there for anyone who needs him. A solid rock you can lean on. “You worry so much about me, about everyone, but who worries about you, Azriel? Who takes care of you?”
The silence that follows is dense, heavy with unspoken emotions. Azriel lowers his gaze for a moment, his shadows fluttering restlessly around the two of you, around him, appearing from where they had hidden, only to disappear again. And you know, after long hours of studying their patterns, that his shadows are around him when they feel the need to protect him; they hide when he’s completely and utterly safe. When he lifts his head again, there’s something different in his eyes, something vulnerable that he rarely lets others see.
“I don’t know how,” he admits, turning his gaze away, his voice so low you almost don’t hear it.
It hurts to hear him say that, but it also fills you with a new determination, a need to show him that he’s not alone. Gently, you place your hand over his, the one still resting on your hip, and squeeze it firmly.
“Then we’ll learn together,” you say, and there’s a promise in those words, a promise that you won’t let him face this burden alone. “You don’t have to do everything yourself, Azriel. You don’t have to be the shield and the sword all the time. Sometimes… sometimes it’s enough just to be you.”
The silence returns, but this time it’s different. It’s a silence filled with understanding, with a tacit agreement that both of you have reached. Azriel nods slightly, accepting the truth you’ve laid before him, though it’s still hard for him to let go of that control he values so much.
With a sigh, he leans forward, his forehead touching yours, and in that contact, you feel the tension in his body ease just a little. “I need you,” he murmurs, the confession a barely audible whisper between you, but it hits you with the force of a gale. “I need you more than I can bear sometimes.”
The knot in your chest tightens, but instead of speaking, you decide to show him that you understand. Sliding your hands up to his neck, you bring his lips to yours in a soft kiss, but one loaded with all the emotions you don’t need to verbalize. Azriel responds with restrained urgency, as if that kiss were an anchor in the middle of a storm threatening to sweep him away.
When you finally pull apart, you stay there, looking at him, seeing the internal battle playing out in his eyes. Without saying another word, you move, sliding off his lap and pulling his hand to get him to stand with you. Although his brow furrows in confusion, he doesn’t resist.
You lead him to the bathroom, to the tub where the water is still warm. Without releasing his hand, you start undressing him, your fingers deftly undoing his clothes while his eyes remain fixed on you, a mix of surprise and something more shining in them. It’s not a gesture of desire, not now, but an act of care. Of showing him that he can let go, that it’s okay to trust you to be the one to take care of him for once.
Azriel doesn’t say anything, but he lets you proceed, his breathing uneven as you guide him into the tub, helping him into the water. Only then do you join him, carefully getting into the tub, sitting behind him, and pulling him toward you, his back against your chest, being mindful of his wings.
For a moment, both of you remain silent, the water enveloping you in a warm embrace, your hands gently caressing his arms as you feel his body finally begin to relax against yours. And then, in the safe haven you’ve created for him without even realizing it, Azriel lets all his barriers fall, resting his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes as a deep, almost relieved sigh escapes his lips.
“I’ve got you,” you murmur softly. “I’ve got you.”
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pseudowho · 6 months ago
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The Silent Stars Go By
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On the night of October 31st, Nanami Kento feels his death approaching. Knowing you are on the battlefield with him, and knowing he cannot die without showing you how he feels, he seeks you out...and subverts destiny.
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, "last night on Earth" smut, truly desperate, frantic, semi-public, Shibuya ending rewrite
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Nanami Kento knew he was to die, on October 31st.
He was no arithmancer. A pragmatist at heart with a mathematical streak, he had, however, carried his barely living friend to safety, found the bodies of many others, punched a young man to death, and lived to tell the tale. The numbers divined great danger ahead, and, by the time a pink-feathered songbird had sung the perish song of Satoru Gojo, Kento could not deny the maths.
Kento could suddenly see no distant future for himself, as he once could. And yet between then, and now, there was one stark similarity; what future Nanami Kento did see, contained only you.
Behind his eyes flashed a montage of memory-- of midnight laughter-filled dinners at the Konbi. Of shielding you in battle, and you shielding him in return. Of you sitting on his lap, stitching his wounds with utmost care, before your reverse-cursed technique had fully developed. Of falling in love with you, and denying himself joy for believing he may give you none.
Being around you was agony. Being away from you was worse.
"I'll be heading underground," he had intoned to Nitta and Nobara, taking in their girlish features for the last time with a stab through his belly, "after I catch up with someone. Stay safe. Don't sacrifice yourself."
He was a hypocrite. He knew this. He would walk to the gallows, proud, if only he could take you in his arms and cry his love for you, first.
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Looking out over the city, having heard Yuuji's cries for 'Nanamin' only a few minutes earlier, you did not know you were being desperately searched for by Kento. You had determined yourself to find and follow Yuuji, the boy without protection.
The night breeze whipped at you, unhindered by walls and trees, on the roof of one of Shibuya's tallest buildings. Turning to leave, you felt a familiar warmth approaching. The man you loved opened the stairwell door, squeaking on its pivot.
Missing his suit jacket and tie, with his sleeves rolled up, he thrummed with raw, uncontained power. Something feverish stormed within his eyes as he looked to you. His steps were slow, and considered. The quiet calm of his voice was deliberate, soft.
"Kento, what...what are you doing here? Is that blood? Oh god, you're bleeding-- let me heal you--"
"Stop. It isn't mine. Just listen for a moment."
"Isn't yours? Then one of the others? We should get them to Shoko--"
"--I need you to listen, now--"
"--we haven't got any time--"
"I love you." The air fell still; a puff of blossom in suspended animation. You had not realised you were holding your breath until Kento's steps caught up to you, and his hands grasped yours. A melancholic certainty rolled off him. Flicks of blond fell over his forehead, that fervour still gripping him; gripping you.
"I love you. You are the purest truth I know. The warmest light. Anything I am, and anything I could have been, is at your mercy, and always has been."
The gut-churning adrenaline you had felt for the fever-pitch of battle was suppressible, before Kento's impassioned promise. That dam broke inside you, and the terror and adoration and injustice heaved out of you in one great sob. You needed his body flush to yours. Public decency took a back seat. So many years of restraint and doubt slid away.
You looped your arms around Kento's neck, one hand grasping his shoulders, and the other sinking into the back of his hair. Kento almost broke, himself, but couldn't; not yet. He had to show you. Needed to show you.
You felt him pull your head away from his shoulder, and you resisted, until his fingers tangled in your hair, angling your head. You were nose to nose. You could feel his heart booming in his chest, fresh from a fight you had not witnessed.
"If this is my last chance," Kento whispered, his nose stroking yours, "will you let me take it?"
"...what...what do you know...that I don't? Kento--"
"Please." Kento growled, his teeth gritted. You felt the twitching contractions of his belly, his hardening cock pressing against you. You couldn't resist his need to control this, and take what he needed, even if you wanted to. Your breaths ached in your chest. Silent, glossy-eyed, you nodded.
Kento broke, possessing your lips in one shuddering kiss. His hands and body squeezed at your softly yielding hips, all-consuming, trying to overfill himself with any scrap of you he could take. He dominated the kiss completely, selflessly, as thoughtlessly altruistic as he had always been. He groaned, panting through the taste of you, his tongue sliding against yours. His cock wept inside his boxers-- it was all too much too much but not enough--
You mewled, little hands gripping onto his collar, sending thunder to Kento's core. Kento pulled away, cursing, feeling the need to know the scars that pleasure etched upon your skin. You were scorched by his touch, too pliable now to do anything but bend to his insistence.
In blood and brutality you sought each other, beacons in the night with stars as your witness. They looked on, disinterested, as if fate held any regard for the lives of mortals, over gods.
With time as his final remaining enemy, Kento pulled you to his lap, sitting with his back against the low wall overlooking the city. He knew for whom the bell tolled. He would see his duty done before the final chime, and he stared into you in your entirety. Though neither a painting nor an ivory box, he handled you with kid gloves.
You straddled his lap, unbuttoning his shirt, and he whispered, groaning and bucking up against your clothed sex as he watched your nimble fingers press his opened shirt apart. Running your hands in reverence down his bared chest and belly, he could not have loved you more than when he saw his own desperation reflected back at him.
In another life-- in any other world-- I--
He lifted you, enough for you to kick your jeans and underwear off, his teeth bared to feel your core press against his aching cock. He spoke through your kisses, a fractured sentence punctuated by his apologies.
"I didn't-- didn't prepare-- no protection-- I can't-- can't stop-- please don't make me stop." He begged, reaching down to hook his cock out. You silenced him with one hand wrapped around his rigid length, and Kento stilled with a hiss.
--take you to dinner first, I'd show you the world-- fill you with its beauty before I fill you with mine--
"Don't care--" You insisted against his neck, "--don't care...need to feel you." Kento almost sobbed with relief to feel you hold him, stroking the head of his cock between your glistening folds. You let his cockhead and slit catch over your clit, shivering, intoxicated by the way he watched you with one hand splayed across your belly, the other on your hip, and blown pupils. He bucked his hips, needy, full of baleful possession.
--and we'd have a Victorian glasshouse with a garden you'd love-- and you'd plant wildflowers while I do the laundry--
Grasping your hips with a snarl as you stroked his cockhead down, Kento impaled you downwards onto him, the moment his cock notched at your entrance. You squeaked, pussy clenching with the sudden blissful invasion, your squirming making you sink lower. Kento felt a telltale throb of impending orgasm in his belly, and he was certain if you clenched one more time--
Your pussy full to the brim, you instinctively bucked downwards. Feeling Kento belly-deep, his trembling fingers dropped to your clit, and you felt Kento's abs twitching beneath your splayed hands. Feeling two clever fingers bracketing your clit and rolling from side to side, you squeezed him, milking his cock and locking him inside you.
--all the late nights and early mornings and train rides and arguments in sickness and health for richer for poorer--
"--love you-- I love you too." You sobbed into his chest, loose and warm against him. Kento saw stars, coming with a shout, thick ropes of cum spurting into you. Looking up at the euphoric agony on his face, and his fingertips bruising your ass as they pinned you down around him, satisfied you spiritually, in a way so alien to you.
You rolled your hips, drinking down every part of him. The long, powerful contractions of his cock inside you, his stilted low moans, his gasps of pleasure as your tight gloved heat continued to stroke him. Starved for him, desperate for more, you rode Kento to frantic overstimulation.
--so unfair this is so unfair, die for you like you'd die for me like I'd die for you like you'd die for me--
You realised with a happy squirm that he hadn't yet removed his glasses or harness. With his shirt trapped against his shoulders, and his lens steamed, fucking upwards and thrashing his head from side to side beneath you, you couldn't stop yourself. You felt the fullness of his creamy load still plugged deeply inside you, and pushed hard against him. Kento cursed, paralyzing you with a hushed roar of agony, and a hand grasping your throat.
"--asked you to make love to me-- not kill me-- but shit, if this is how we go, just take me with you-- take me with you--"
His fingers had never left your clit, now rolling it insistently, until you were the one wriggling and desperate. Still being stuffed with his cock and cum made your pleasure three-dimensional, and Kento's half-hard length began to stir to life again, still high off the adrenaline of punching a man to death. He growled at you with gritted teeth.
"--beautiful...good girl...not done with you yet...shit, keep it in, keep it all in...take me with you...please--"
With half lidded eyes, you grasped Kento's forearm. His hand still braced you with exquisite tenderness around the throat, a necklace instead of a noose. His second hand worked frantically against your clit while you moaned and begged above him, still speared on his cock, feeling him lengthen and thicken again inside you. You whimpered and keened, and Kento committed you to memory, just like this. He would close his eyes in his final moment, and see you, breaking like spun sugar above him, no sweeter sound than his name on your lips.
--bake for you on Sundays, and the bread would always burn, because we'll be too busy--
Kento continued stroking you, pressing kisses onto your forehead as he guided you down from your high. Cautiously starting to roll his hips up again, he moaned at the slick sucks of his cock sliding through his cum and yours. Unthreading his shirt through his harness, Kento threw it to the ground, before lying you down on top of it.
Otherwise fully dressed, with dried stains of blood rusted over his chest and back, Kento bore over you like a vengeful god. Here to take his spoils, he still handled you like glass, resting your head on one of his planted forearms, with a hand under the small of your back to protect you from the floor.
"...I've wanted you for so long-- you don't even know--"
"I knew." Kento faltered. His anguish at leaving you for certain death sharpened, with the sudden knowledge of past chances untaken. His heart clenched, aching down his arms, steeling himself. He couldn't help but lean into your hand, cupping his jaw.
Nuzzling his nose to yours, Kento melted at your smile twinkling up at him. He smiled back, suddenly bashful, lopsided with crinkling eyes, before biting down on one lip and slamming his cock down into you. Your gasp shook through you, clawing into the harness across his chest and shoulders, hearing Kento swear with pleasure at the intensity of a second round.
Kento barely pulled out, wrapped in your arms and tight cunt. He almost spat with anger at the simultaneous need to savour you, and the need to leave, knowing he could not have both. Duty to you held the greater weight and, feeling another orgasm creep through his back and balls far too quickly, he slowed.
Completely engulfed by the enormity of him, you stared up at Kento, made submissive under his emotional insistence, the thick aching stretch of him sheathed inside you. Your back arched off the ground with a guttural moan when Kento slowed, dragging himself through your core from ball to tip in long, languid thrusts, the whole length of his cock glistening with gluey white seed.
He swore he could feel every ridge of you, the mind-altering bend of his cock as it moulded to the curve inside you. He needed you to carry the shape of him forever, an unremovable flesh-memory. Something had changed in him as you carded your fingers through his hair, whispering praises to him, to try to hold him together.
Kento looked drunk. His eyes were distant and hyperfocused all at once, his breaths and groans gruff, his voice gravelly with emotion as his mouth muffled against your shirt.
"--sorry, I...can't move my hands...hurt you, I--" Kento grasped your shirt between his teeth, ragging his head from side to side with a growl to lift it up over your breasts. He did the same to your bra, gripping the cups to yank your breasts free. They bounced out, full and peaked under his hot, frantic breaths.
Kento nosed at them, pulling his cock from you slowly, only to slam back into you with enough force to leave you writhing and whimpering. His mouth and nose played with your breasts, nudging, sucking and biting, hungry and obsessive. Something primal glimmered in his green glass-concealed eyes, as your mounds jiggled every time he fucked into you. The visual stimulus of you spread beneath him, your tight pussy slick with his cum, doe-eyed and completely willing, sent him spiralling towards his high.
"God I wish I--wish I could stay-- more than anything...cum with me, please please please--"
His thrusts became frantic, rough and sloppy with no warning. Kento's eyes darted from your face, to your breasts and pussy, and back again, drinking in the shock and ecstasy plastered over your face. You were trapped within the humid embrace of him, erotically overstimulated by his smell, his desperation, the constant stroke of his weeping cockhead against your spongy soft spot.
You didn't realise how close you were to orgasm until his position shifted, his trimmed honey-gold trail now rubbing against your clit. Clinging onto him, and rubbing upwards to meet his thrusts, you begged for Kento to help you. Your begging was Kento's last straw, and he gasped, his seed slugging out in lazy, creamy trickles against your overstuffed cervix and pussy.
Barely able to see straight, Kento kept rubbing his rigid pelvis against you, gruff and messy while you felt the drag of pleasure through you, softer than bare feet through hot sand. Kento whispered to you, sweat mingling on your foreheads pressed together; "...don't regret a thing...won't regret a minute-- wish this was different...deserve more..."
Panting in each others embrace, the dreadful horror of reality seeped back into you both. You could hear cries in the distance, the rumble of battles. You fought an unwinnable fight. Silent, and pensive, you jolted out of your reverie to hear Kento groan above you, reluctantly pulling his softening cock free. He knelt, dewy-eyed, watching the gluey drip of his cum from you, moaning and shivering as he held his half-hard cock, nudging the cum back inside with his tip.
The sudden emptiness almost made you weep. You felt the same terrible foreboding emanating from him as you had when he arrived on the rooftop. Kento smiled down at you, heartfelt and reassuring, pressing a folded pocket handkerchief to you before pulling your underwear back on over it. He kissed you delicately, from toe to knee while you giggled, before planting one lazy kiss and nuzzle onto your belly. You grasped his head there, scratching gently at his scalp with your fingernails.
"Stay with me, Kento. Just stay." You pressed, knowing in your gut that his decision was already made. His sigh creaked the leather of his harness with broad, corded tugs of his shoulders.
"They need help, underground. I'm one of the few First Grades available. It's only right that I go down there."
Kento's words, as always, rang with decisive finality. Before you could begin to talk again, he interrupted you smoothly.
"You will not come with me."
"You can't stop me."
"Shoko needs you. Your reverse cursed technique is second only to hers, and she's in need of support. It's the proper thing to do."
You squirmed with guilt, knowing you would choose to let Shoko suffer over Kento. Kento glowered down at you, stern, as if he hadn't just fallen apart inside you. You swallowed, a coil of doubt inside your belly.
"...don't be a hero, Kento." Kento frowned as if he didn't understand, and you insisted. "Don't be a hero. Get yourself out first. I mean it." Kento hesitated, looking out over the city lights, the breeze ruffling his mussed hair. He pulled his shirt back on, threading it under his harness.
"...alright." He lied. He paused. You both stood, sticky with each others' cum cooling between your legs. Nuzzling nose to nose, it felt so surreal to have to toss aside post-coital softness, in exchange for the cold embrace of battle.
"Go to Shoko," Kento whispered against your lips, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "and help her. Please. Do as I say."
"Promise you'll come back to me." You hushed into his kiss, beseeching him. He softened, deceptively reassuring, while hearing his clocktower chime.
"Always. I'm all yours. Always." Planting one lingering kiss to your forehead, you watched Kento's retreating back, his figure disappearing down the stairwell.
You wondered if you'd ever trust anyone other than Kento, over your own instincts.
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Shoko was surprised to see you, her cigarette drooping as she raised her thick, dark eyebrows.
"Kento told me you wanted me." You insisted. Shoko shot Yaga one questioning look. Yaga shrugged, arms folded.
"We haven't spoken to Kento all evening." Shoko assured. You felt a flash of panicked rage in your gut, knowing he'd lied to you. Knowing he was taking himself to an unwinnable battle. You grabbed Shoko by the arm.
"Where are they? His team? Where is he?"
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Kento was bloodied, missing an arm of his shirt, his vision obscured by the incessant bleed of a head wound. Pushing out of Dagon's domain, he knew he was exhausted, already skirting his limit. He felt a monstrous wave of Cursed energy, so much deadlier than his own.
A volcano-headed Curse approached him, its hand outstretched and hovering over Kento's abdomen. Naobito and Maki already smouldered in agony, and Kento felt the sickening weight of failure in his chest He had only a moment to protect himself, and he may have coated his body in Cursed-energy in its entirety, had he not filled his death-sentenced mind with thoughts of you.
He expected fire and flames...and felt you. When he protected his right half, you had arrived at the edge of a knife blade, and protected his left. The volcano-headed Curse faltered, stepping back with a scowl.
Kento looked down at you, knelt at his side in a braced position. His clock stopped chiming, in a moment of twisted fates reserved previously for the gods alone. He considered that you were, perhaps, a goddess, and he may be your vassal. You looked up at him, bristling with rage, and Kento's heart swelled.
"I'll tell you off later. For now...we have a fight to finish."
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
By the end of the night, Itadori Yuuji had gained a brother and retained a beloved father figure. Nanami Kento cast his eyes over Choso with a hum of resignation, considering he may have another boy to look after, too. The patch-faced curse who may have been his executioner in another life, met its end. He witnessed an old friend who was not an old friend, cast a battle royale over the length of Japan.
Gazing in mute horror over the devastation left behind, Kento felt a hand slip into his own. His ears flushed red. He cleared his throat.
"I'm-- I'm so sorry--"
You laughed, your hands over your face. Kento's eyes glimmered with mirth. He plaited his fingers in yours, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, mumbling against them.
"My hero."
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connorsui · 2 months ago
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“Believing in love”
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Sylus x fem! reader
Synopsis: Amidst the dazzling lights of a futuristic city, you confront your fears of love
Genre/warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, soft sylus, reader who doesn't believe in the concept of love, emotional trauma, vulnerability, discussions of betrayal, past trauma for reader, sylus just wants to love you for you and nothing else, hurt/Comfort, emotional healing, small fluff, slow burn, hints of trust issues
Note: okaaayyyyyyy I went overboard this was originally going to be a short imagine ..like maybe five hundred words or less with the concept: “I don't believe in love” and “I'll show you what it can be” – I wasn't planning on this to be a full fledged one shot…but hey …I ain't gonna complain any further my brain is just doing its job ✨️
w.c: 1.8K
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The city hums beneath you, a symphony of noise and light, but your mind is far from the chaos below. You keep your gaze fixed on the skyline, as if it holds the answers you can’t seem to find. Beside you, Sylus’ breath is ragged, his desperation barely concealed as he clings to your wrist. You can feel the tremble in his fingers despite the firmness of his grip, as though he’s trying to hold you together—or perhaps, to keep you from drifting away.
“Why do you always attempt to leave me? What is it that I’m doing wrong?” His voice is soft, almost pleading, a rare break in his usually stoic demeanor. He’s searching your face for something—anything—but you remain still, letting the weight of his words hang in the air.
He clutches you tighter, not forcefully, but in a way that tells you he’s afraid you might vanish into the night, just like the countless times before. The emptiness in your silence gnaws at him, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything.
“Sweetheart…” His voice cracks, the word nearly lost in the wind. “I’m not one to beg, but if it means I’ll get an answer from you, then I’ll lower myself.”
You glance down as you hear the rustle of fabric, your eyes catching the sight of Sylus sinking to one knee. A proud man, reduced to pleading. The weight of his devotion presses down on you, suffocating in ways you hadn’t expected.
“I wish for an answer. Any answer from you.”
But still, you say nothing. The flood of emotions you’ve buried for so long stirs within you, threatening to overwhelm. The city lights blur in your vision, turning into a kaleidoscope of glowing orbs, and suddenly, your throat tightens. You want to speak, but the words are tangled in your chest, caught in the rising tide of emotion.
“It’s… it’s not that I wish to ignore everything you’ve done,” you start, your voice shaky and weak, barely audible over the rushing wind. “It doesn’t mean I hate you, or that you're not trying hard enough. I care for you. I do.”
Your breath hitches, your heart pounding against your ribs, as tears, hot and unrelenting, streak down your face.
“I want to love you, Sylus. I want to be near you every day, to feel what it means to love someone, to truly understand it. But I…” Your voice cracks, the word foreign on your tongue. Your chest tightens, the familiar sting of betrayal flashing in your mind, the memories you’ve fought so hard to suppress now rushing back in vivid detail.
Before you can break down any further, Sylus pulls you close, his arms wrapping around you like a shield from the world. His warmth seeps into you, steadying you amidst the storm inside.
“Shhh… it’s alright. Come here.”
His voice is soothing, and for a moment, you let yourself relax in his hold. You breathe out slowly, though each exhale feels labored. Your chest rises and falls as you try to calm the sobs threatening to tear through you. His hands gently cradle your face as he wipes the tears away with the pad of his thumb, his touch delicate but firm, as if assuring you he won’t let go.
“I’m scared…” Your words spill out between quiet gasps, your chest heaving as you finally let out the weight you’ve carried for so long. “I’m so scared, Sylus. I’ve loved before, countless times… and neither time was it ever given back.”
Sylus' embrace tightens, his chin resting atop your head as he rocks you gently. His voice, though calm, carries a raw edge of determination, as though he’s willing his words into reality.
“I can show you what it can be,” he whispers against your ear. “I’ll show you what love should feel like, what it should be… No one in this entire city is more deserving of that than you.”
His hand rests against your back, moving in slow, soothing circles.
“I just need you to believe in me. let me show you that I can give you the love you’ve been searching for.”
You close your eyes, the weight of his words settling into your chest, pushing against the wall you’ve built around your heart. For a moment, there’s only the sound of your breathing, the quiet murmur of the city below, and the cold wind that carries the scent of the night sky. Moonlight bathes the two of you, casting silver across the rooftop as if the world has stilled for this one moment.
And though the fear still lingers at the edges of your mind, something shifts within you. Perhaps it’s the warmth of his touch, or the sincerity in his voice. But for the first time, you allow yourself to believe in the possibility.
Yet he keeps himself steady, his grip tightens—not out of force, but from desperation, as if he’s holding on to more than just your body. He’s holding on to the very idea of you, of the two of you.
“I don’t need you to say you love me, not now, not in this hour, not tomorrow” he murmurs into your hair. “I just need you to trust that I will. That I already do.”
His words pierce through the walls you’ve spent so long building. The fortress around your heart cracks, letting in the first tendrils of warmth you’ve felt in ages. You try to push him away, afraid of being vulnerable, but his hold remains firm—not possessive, just secure. Safe.
“But Sylus—” you whisper between breaths, your voice breaking.
“I’m not like you. I don’t know how to—how to do this. Every time… I let someone in, they ripped pieces out of me until there was nothing left to give...so, even if you say you love me… what can I give you..when there's nothing? ”
He pulls back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze. His red eyes soften, the intensity that so often burned with dominance now a smoldering ember of understanding.
“You think there’s nothing left to give,” he murmurs, “but every broken piece of you is still yours to offer. And I’ll take them, even if they don’t fit together perfectly. I don’t care if you feel shattered. I’ll hold onto every fragment until you’re ready to trust me with the rest.”
Your chest heaves as you fight for control over your emotions, but the more you resist, the harder it becomes. Sylus’s steady gaze undoes you. How could someone like him—so powerful, so untouchable—look at you as if you were the most fragile thing in the universe?
“ — and yet there will be days you think I don’t know fear?” he continues, his voice low, barely above a whisper. “You think I don’t wonder every day if I’m enough for you? That I’ll lose you before you ever truly belonged to me?”
The vulnerability in his words makes you flinch. You’ve seen Sylus command entire fleets, face enemies without a trace of fear, and yet here he is, baring himself before you. It’s too much—too raw. But it’s also exactly what you needed to hear.
“I’m not a perfect man, and I won’t pretend I am," he adds. "But I will never stop trying for you. Not for a second or an hour or a day of my life"
His thumb brushes the last of your tears away, and for a moment, all that exists is the sound of the wind whipping around you, the lights of the city flickering beneath your feet, and the quiet hum of your hearts—one racing, the other steady.
You finally exhale, the weight of your emotions loosening its grip just enough for you to speak again.
“What if I’m broken?” you choke out. “What if there’s nothing left that is untouched for you to love?”
Sylus’s lips quirk into a sad but tender smile.
“It doesn't matter if any part of you is left …untouched ” he says softly. “When I mean I would love ..you ..I mean you .. Every part of you…that I have fallen in love with”
His words settle into you like a balm, soothing wounds you didn’t realize were still bleeding. You’ve spent so long believing that love was something to fear, something that would eventually turn on you and leave you empty. But Sylus is showing you a different kind of love—one that doesn’t demand perfection but offers patience. One that doesn’t expect you to be whole but promises to stay, even when you’re not.
Your body, tense and guarded for so long, begins to relax in his arms. You close your eyes and lean into him fully for the first time, allowing yourself to be held—not because you’re weak, but because, for once, you don’t have to be strong.
You stay like that for what feels like hours, wrapped up in each other as the city continues its ceaseless rhythm below. The cold air bites at your skin, but neither of you care. Not when the warmth of Sylus’s embrace keeps the rest of the world at bay.
Eventually, you speak again, your voice quieter, more vulnerable than before.
“I don’t know how to let go” you admit.
Sylus shifts slightly, enough to look into your eyes again.
“And, you don’t have to,” he replies. “I’m not asking you to forget anything that has happened to you then or anything that has happened to you in the months or years away. I just wish for you to allow me to be part of your future.”
Your breath hitches, but you don’t pull away this time. Instead, you let the weight of his words sink in. He isn’t asking for grand promises or declarations. He’s asking for a chance—a chance to be the person you turn to, the one who stays when others would leave.
“Would you allow me?” Sylus asks softly, almost pleading.
“Can you let me in?”
There’s a long pause as the world around you holds its breath. Then, finally, you nod.
“Yes,” you whisper, voice trembling. “I’ll try.”
And with that, the dam inside you breaks. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you can learn to love again.
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Sylus would show you how much you mean to him ..✨️
765 notes · View notes
ponderingmoonlight · 12 days ago
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jjk men comforting you after a rough day
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Pairings: Megumi x reader; Yuji x reader; Gojo x reader; Choso x reader; Sukuna x reader
Word Count:3,7k
Warnings: none of those scenarios is specific, just reader having a rough day, fluff in every part hehe
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Megumi Fushiguro
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The world seems extra heavy today, each step on your way home slower than the last. By the time you finally open the door to Megumi’s dorm like you’re used to, your shoulders ache with the weight of it all. But there, waiting in the soft, golden light of his room, is Megumi. He stands in his usual way, casual but attentive, eyes soft as he takes you in as if he’s been waiting for your arrival.
There’s no need to say a single word; he reads everything in the slump of your posture, the tired line of your mouth, your already glossy eyes. He’s always had a way of seeing beyond the surface when it came to you, and tonight is no different.
“Long day?” he asks gently, voice so quiet it feels like a balm against the noise in your mind.
His eyes search yours before he reaches to take your bag from your shoulder, placing it carefully by the door. You nod, the exhaustion catching up with you as the reality of being home, of being with him, finally settles in. What a hell of a day or rather week this was.
Without saying another word, he reaches for your hand, his fingers curling around yours as warm and grounding as ever. There’s comfort in his touch, in the solid warmth of his palm against yours, that makes you feel more at ease than you have all day. He doesn’t press you to talk, doesn’t ask for more than you’re ready to give. Instead, he simply guides you to his bed and settles down beside you, close enough that you can feel his presence like a protective shield.
As you sink into the cushions, he drapes a blanket over your legs, tucking it around you in his careful, unhurried way. He shifts beside you, pulling you gently to rest against his shoulder. The gesture is so familiar, so subtly caring, that you feel a pang in your chest - a reminder that here, with him, you’re safe. You close your eyes for a brief, letting the silence stretch between you, and just breathe in the quiet assurance of his presence. To be honest, this is what you’ve been longing for all day.
Megumi’s hand finds yours again, his fingers tracing gentle circles against the palm of your hand. It’s a small gesture, one that could go unnoticed, but it feels like he’s saying everything while not using a single word.
You let out a deep sigh, allow yourself to sink into him, feeling the weight of the day slowly but surely melt away, bit by bit with each stroke of his thumb against your hand.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks eventually, his voice low and calm.
There’s no pressure in his tone, just an open invitation, one you know he’d withdraw just as easily if you weren’t ready. You shake your head, feeling that threatful lump aching inside your throat. No, you’re absolutely not in the mood to cry right now. Megumi seems to understand though, his gaze softening as he gives your hand a gentle squeeze.
For a while, you simply sit together, the silence like a healing balm, soothing in its simplicity. When he feels you start to relax, Megumi shifts slightly, freeing his arm so he can wrap it around your shoulders, pulling you a little closer. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss at the top of your head, a rare display of affection that you feel down to your bones.
The minutes pass in comfortable silence, the kind that only exists with someone like him. Every once in a while, he glances down at you, his gaze gentle and steady, as if checking to make sure you’re still okay. His other hand traces slow, soothing patterns on your arm, the rhythmic motion calming the last lingering traces of stress from the day.
Eventually, he shifts again, adjusting so you’re resting more comfortably against him, his fingers threading through your hair in a slow, steady motion. The tenderness in his movements is so gentle, so completely at odds with his usual stoic demeanor, that you feel your heart ache in the best way. With Megumi, you don’t need to pretend. He sees you as you are, accepts every part of you, even on the days when you feel worn down to nothing.
The evening stretches on, peaceful and calm, until you find yourself dozing off against him, lulled by the steady rise and fall of his chest. His hand stays in your hair, his fingers moving with a slow, practiced ease, as if he’s done this a thousand times before.
And in that moment, as the world fades into soft shadows, you know that with Megumi, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
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Yuji Itadori
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You don’t just feel tired tonight. No, you feel like the world is pressing down on you, relentless and merciless. It’s the kind of day that pulls at every thread holding you together, and by the time you reach home, it’s as if all the carefully managed fragments of yourself threaten to break loose.
You push open the door, and Yuji is there, his smile lighting up the moment he sees you. But as soon as he registers your stoic expression, the smile fades into something softer, more tentative.
"Hey," he greets you with warm and concerned-filled voice.
You okay?"
The question, such a damn simple question, breaks something in you. The day’s weight crashes down on you like a tsunami. And before you can stop it, the tears spill over. You try to brush them away, shaking your head as you choke on a frustrated, angry sob. Are you really standing in front of your boyfriend while crying over something like a rough day?  
Yuji’s eyes widen for a moment out of visibly surprise, but then he’s right there, a grounding presence in the storm of your emotions.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs, moving closer, his arms wrapping around you in a hug so warm and secure it feels like it could hold the world together.
"Let it out. I’m right here, okay? Let’s get you inside."
You press your face into his chest, the tears streaming freely now, and your hands clutch at his shirt, desperate for something solid. Every frustration, every stress, every hurt you’ve kept inside spills over uncontrollably. Why has all of this have to be so damn hard?
 “I… I just can’t… I tried so hard today, but it didn’t matter, and… everything’s just too much…”
Yuji’s hand strokes gently along your back, his touch steady and unwavering.
“I get it. I know it’s hard sometimes. I know it can all feel like too much. But you don’t have to handle it alone, yeah?”
His words are simple but hit deep, and you let out a shaky exhale as you lean into him, allowing yourself to be held. Yuji’s warmth radiates through you, steady and grounding, a stark contrast to the chaos in your mind. He doesn’t rush you, doesn’t try to fix anything. He just stays, solid and unwavering, letting you release every emotion without a single spark of judgment in his eyes.
After a while, when the tears have slowed and the storm inside you has begun to calm, Yuji pulls back just enough to look at you. He reaches up, brushing away the lingering tears with a tenderness that makes your chest ache.
“You know,” he begins, his voice soft and genuine, “you’re allowed to feel this way. You don’t always have to be okay.”
A small, shaky laugh escapes you, the weight easing just a little.
“That’s good to hear…”
Yuji smiles back, a glimmer of that familiar brightness returning to his face.
“Hey, let’s do something fun. Just you and me. We’ll get ice cream or watch the silliest movie we can find. I bet we can make this day end on a good note.”
You nod, a small smile breaking through, and let him lead you into the living room, his arm still around your shoulders, grounding you with each step.
“I don’t want to watch the one with the worms, though.”
“WHY NOT?”
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Satoru Gojo
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The day has left you in pieces, each moment sharp and overwhelming, until you can barely stand the pressure building inside you. As you step into the apartment, every sensation - light, sound, touch - feels too much. You shut the door behind you, your breath coming in shallow, unsteady gasps, and it’s as if all the emotions have reached their breaking point. Fuck, don’t start crying right here on the spot, don’t let it all out, get yourself together-
A whimper escapes your lips and before you’re able to comprehend it, Satoru is already there, crossing the room in two easy strides. He reads the distress in your eyes instantly, the usual teasing gleam in his gaze replaced by genuine concern.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice unusually soft.
Honestly, it’s the last question you want to hear right now. Especially when he looks at you all serious.
“I can’t—” you start, your voice choked with frustration and exhaustion.
“Everything is just… too much, Satoru. I can’t handle it right now.”
Your words come out in a tangle, each one louder than the last, until you’re practically shouting, your hands shaking as you try to articulate the chaos inside you.
Instead of stepping back, Satoru stays close, his expression calm and grounded, giving you a safe space to release it all.
“Let it out,” he says quietly, and something in his voice unlocks the dam inside you.
 The anger, the sadness, the frustration. All of it pours out in a torrent of words and tears, your hands clenched in fists at your sides as you struggle to contain it.
When the words finally run dry, when you’re left feeling like absolute shit, Satoru reaches out, pulling you into a tight hug.
“You don’t have to handle it alone,” he murmurs, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles on your back.
“Sometimes, you just need to let it out. I’ll be here for all of it, not only the fun stuff.”
You bury your face against his chest, your fingers clinging to his shirt for dear life as he holds you, steady and comforting. There’s something supporting in his embrace, something that reminds you that he’s there, a steady presence in the storm of your emotions. Have you ever seen your boyfriend with something like worry filling his eyes, with that glint of seriousness you’ve never seen before in his gaze?
 His hand strokes your hair, slow and reassuring, his voice a low murmur against your ear.
"I know it’s hard, and I know it’s not fair. But I promise, you don’t have to go through it alone."
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you pull back just enough to look up at him, your breath still shaky but the tension easing slightly. He gives you a reassuring smile, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face.
“Hey. I know the best treatment for a day like this: a midnight snack. Something sweet, maybe? How about…mochi from that one street?”
“That’s your favorite treat, Satoru.”
“And you’ve mine. So I guess that’s the perfect solution, right?”
His words pull a reluctant laugh from you, and he grins, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you toward the kitchen.
“Come on, let’s make some memories that’ll drown out the bad ones.”
With Satoru, there’s always a way forward, always a spark of light, even in the darkest moments. Even if it’s a mochi from across the street.
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Choso Kamo
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The day has left you feeling frayed, worn down to your very core. As you trudge through the door, your gaze drops to the floor, too tired to muster a smile, let alone look at your boyfriend. There’s no need to drag Choso down with you, right?
But before you can even think, he’s right there on his own, his quiet presence filling the room like a comforting warmth. He tilts your head up and meets your gaze, understanding in an instant that you’re feeling down.
Without a word, he steps forward, his hands reaching out in that cautious, careful way of his. He’s always so gentle with you, as if afraid he might break something fragile while touching you. His hands cup your face, his thumbs tracing a feather-light path along your cheekbones as he studies you, his gaze searching and full of an unspoken concern that tugs at your heart.
“You look tired,” he says softly, the rough edge of his voice softened by a tenderness that surprises you every time.
His words hold no judgment, only a quiet understanding that makes you feel seen, truly seen, in a way few people ever manage. His thumb brushes along your cheek, slow and soothing, and it’s enough to make your shoulders relax, the tension melting away beneath his touch.
Choso steps back just slightly, his gaze never leaving yours, and then he gently pulls you toward the living room. His movements are slow, deliberate, as if he’s giving you time to catch up, to let go of the day’s weight at your own pace. He guides you to the couch, his hand steady and warm in yours, and you sink into the cushions with a heavy sigh, grateful for the comforting presence beside you.
As you lean back, Choso sits down next to you, close but not crowding. He’s quiet, as he often is, letting the stillness speak for him. It’s a silence that feels like home, that wraps around you like a familiar embrace, offering comfort without demanding anything in return. You close your eyes, leaning your head back against a cushion and just exist, the steady rhythm of his breathing next to you lulling your brain in.
After a few moments, you feel his hand reach for yours, his fingers intertwining with yours in a gentle hold that feels both protective and grounding. His thumb strokes the back of your hand in slow, deliberate circles, a silent reminder that he’s here, that you’re not alone. You feel the tension in your chest begin to ease, the weight of the day slipping away, bit by bit, with each slow, soothing motion.
When he finally speaks, his voice is soft, almost hesitant.
“Do you… want to talk about it?”
His tone is careful, as if he’s afraid to intrude, to push too hard. What if you don’t want to talk? What if he’s done something wrong?
You shake your head, feeling the words catch in your throat, and he nods, as if he expected nothing more.
For a while, the two of you sit in silence, the room filled with a peaceful calm that only Choso seems to create. His hand remains in yours, his grip steady and reassuring, as if securing you to the present, to the here and now. Every once in a while, he glances over at you, his gaze soft and full of an unspoken care that leaves you feeling both vulnerable and comforted. Oh, how lucky you are to call him yours.
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Sukuna
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The day has worn you down to the point of raw nerves, every small inconvenience piling up, every task feeling like an impossible problem. By the time you make it home, every sight, every sound feels like it’s pushing you closer to the edge. You step through the door, exhausted and on the brink.
And there he is, lounging on the couch with his usual air of dominance and confidence. His crimson eyes flick up as you enter, taking in the tension in your posture and the clenched fists at your sides.
“Finally home,” he drawls, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Took you long enough.”
Something inside you snaps. After all the shit you’ve been through this week, those countless working hours, this is what he has to say while lounging around all week? It’s too much, too much for you to hold back any longer.
“Do you ever stop?” you shout, the words tearing out of you before you can stop them.
“Do you ever just let me��be for one moment? I’m exhausted, Sukuna! I can’t keep going like this!”
Your voice rings through the room, raw and sharp, and you feel your chest tighten as the tears begin to burn behind your eyes. Fuck, what the hell was that? Every emotion you’ve tried to hold in comes crashing out, your voice rising as you vent your frustration, no longer caring if he’s listening, no longer caring if he even understands.
Sukuna’s smirk fades as he watches you, his gaze narrowing. For a moment, he just stares at you, unreadable and quiet, and you’re ready for some biting retort, ready for him to say something that will only make the anger worse.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he shifts forward, unfolding himself from the couch in one smooth, measured movement, his expression turning serious.
“Is that so?” he murmurs, his voice low and calm, an unexpected contrast to the storm of emotions raging inside you.
His gaze sharpens as he takes a step closer, his presence like a dark cloud filling the room.
"Do you think I don’t see you, tearing yourself apart for things that don’t matter?"
You shake your head, the frustration still twisting inside your chest.
“You wouldn’t understand. You never have to deal with… with any of this.”
Your voice cracks, and you can’t stop the way your hands press to your temples, every sound, every light feeling like it’s pressing in on you, swelling the ache in your head.
“Everything feels too loud, too much… I can’t think. Fuck, I can’t even breathe.”
The admission comes out in a broken whisper, and suddenly, all the fight leaves you, your shoulders slumping as the first tears start to fall. You try to hold them back, but it’s no use -the exhaustion and frustration come pouring out like rain after a sunny day, leaving you standing there, shattered and vulnerable, feeling raw in a way that makes your skin prickle.
Sukuna’s expression shifts, his eyes narrowing, and for a brief moment, something softer flickers in his gaze, an emotion you can’t name. He closes the distance between you, stopping just close enough that his presence grounds you, but not touching, not crowding you in the way he often does. It’s a small gesture, but you feel the shift in the air, an acknowledgment of your boundaries that surprises you.
He waits, watching you with a calm intensity, and then he speaks, his voice firm but oddly gentle.
“Enough of that,” he says, his tone carrying a command you can’t help but obey.
“Let it out. Whatever’s holding you down, get rid of it.”
His words hang heavy in the air. You can’t explain yourself why, but the permission, the demand even, to let yourself break in front of him makes something in you finally give in.
The tears come faster now, unchecked, and before you know it, you’re sobbing like a baby with your hands covering your face as you let go of everything you’ve been holding back for way too long. Those countless shitty conversations, all that fighting, the long appointments, the invoices…
Sukuna’s hand finds its way to your shoulder, his touch solid while being the tiniest bit rough.
“Is that all?” he murmurs, his voice so close it sends a shiver down your spine.
His hand slides down your arm, fingers curling around your wrist as he pulls your hand gently from your face, his thumb brushing away a tear from your cheek in a gesture that’s surprisingly tender for him.
“Look at me.”
You lift your head, your vision blurred while trying to meet his gaze. His expression is intense, but there’s no mockery there, no hint of the usual smirk that taunts you. Instead, he holds your gaze, letting you see that he’s truly there, that he’s not going to dismiss your pain.
“Whatever broke you today,” he says slowly, “it’s nothing. Nothing compared to you, nothing compared to what you can handle.”
His fingers trace your cheek, his thumb lingering just below your eye, wiping away the last traces of your tears.
“You don’t have to keep it together all the time. But don’t let this-” he gestures around as if encompassing all the stress that brought you here, “- consume you. You’re stronger than that, brat.”
There’s a powerful certainty in his words, a certainty that almost makes you believe it too. And as the last of your tears dry, you feel a strange sense of relief, as if the storm inside you has finally quieted. Maybe…he’s right. Maybe you did worry too much…
For a moment, neither of you moves, the silence stretching between you. Then, he steps back, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, his gaze softening as he watches you.
“Next time you’re this worked up, come to me. I’ll remind you of your strength if you forget again.”
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faebled-stories · 12 days ago
Text
Healing Touch
Kinkvember Day 14: Oral (TW: Emotional & Physical Abuse)
StayC Isa (Lee Chaeyoung) x Male reader
AN: Just a heads-up, this story has more character development and plot, with less smut than usual. I hope you guys still enjoy!
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“AGH, fuck!” Isa’s breath comes in shallow gasps, her body still tingling from the waves of pleasure that had just torn through her. The room is filled with the quiet aftermath of your lovemaking, a soft hum of satisfaction buzzing in the dim light. She lies beside you, skin slick with sweat, her heartbeat slowly returning to its natural rhythm. For a few moments, neither of you speaks—just the sound of your breaths mingling as you both come down from the high, letting the silence settle in comfortably.
You lie on your back next to her, staring up at the ceiling with a lazy grin, your chest rising and falling in sync with hers. Isa turns her head toward you, her body still warm and electric from the intensity you just shared. She treasures these moments—the calm after the storm—when every part of her feels alive yet settled. But tonight, something lingers at the edge of her mind, a familiar ache that always seems to resurface after these most intimate moments.
It’s been a year and a half since you became a couple,—since you reached the point where words were no longer enough to hold what you shared. You’ve grown closer with each passing day, yet even now, there are places in you that feel just out of reach to her, guarded and closed. Isa longs to reach those parts, to touch you in ways that go beyond the physical. She feels it most in the aftermath of nights like this—when your bodies speak a language all their own, but she knows there’s still something more, something unspoken between you.
You both bask in the comfortable silence, bodies entangled yet thoughts drifting. Isa’s fingers trace the lines of your chest lazily, feeling the steady warmth of your skin beneath her touch, grounding her. Her body hums with contentment, but her mind is already longing for something beyond it. She feels the quiet tension that always lingers after, a sense of wanting to give herself more fully to you, to offer parts of herself that words or touch can’t fully convey.
After a few moments, Isa turns her head toward you, her voice soft, carrying a hint of hope. “Do you want me to… take care of you?” She doesn’t need to be more specific; you know what she means. She wants to show her love in this way, to take you to that place of vulnerability she finds beautiful.
You smile faintly but shake your head, brushing it off. “No need, baby. You don’t have to. I’m good.”
Isa’s heart sinks, a familiar disappointment settling in. The rejection stings, even more than she lets herself admit. “I know I don’t have to,” she murmurs, her fingers still tracing patterns on your chest, searching for the right words. “I want to.”
Your response is gentle but dismissive, as always. “I’m spent. Too tired,” you say, your voice already softening with sleep as you turn to spoon her from behind. Your arm wraps around her waist, pulling her close, and Isa can feel the warmth of your body against hers, your breath soft against her neck. But despite your words, she feels your half-hardened length pressing against her, betraying your claim of exhaustion.
Her mind swirls as she lies there in your embrace. She’s noticed this pattern before—how you always find a reason to decline her offer. It isn’t the first time you’ve said you’re “tired” or that it “wasn’t necessary.” Each time, it leaves Isa feeling more confused and frustrated. For her, it isn’t about obligation; it’s her way of showing love, an expression as important as anything else you do together. She wants to share that intimacy with you—to feel the satisfaction of bringing you pleasure in her own way. And yet, every time she tries, you have an excuse.
Tonight, with the way your body presses against hers even as your words tell her no, the quiet rejection stings more deeply than ever.
As you hold her, your arm draped over her waist, you sense a shift in her, a quiet tension. Normally, after moments like these, you would both talk softly or drift into easy silence. But tonight, there’s a difference in the air, something in the way her body feels tense against yours, her breath slow but not fully relaxed.
“Chae,” you say, your voice breaking through the silence. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Isa hesitates, biting her lip as her thoughts tumble over one another. Should she brush it off? Or is tonight the night to finally voice what’s been building inside her? After a long moment, she sighs and rolls over slightly to face you, her gaze soft but searching.
“Why don’t you ever let me… you know, give you head?” she begins quietly, her voice uncertain but steady. “It’s not like I don’t want to. I love doing it. I love making you feel good in that way. But you always say no.”
You blink, momentarily taken aback by her honesty. You open your mouth to respond, but Isa continues, the words pouring out now that she’s started.
“I don’t want to pressure you, I swear,” she says, her fingers resting lightly on your chest, feeling the slow, steady beat of your heart. “I just… I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something. You say you’re tired, or that you’re fine, but it’s a way for me to show my love, and I want to share that with you. But you keep shutting me down.”
Her words hang in the air between you, a weight both of you can feel. Isa’s heart pounds as she waits for your response, vulnerability tightening in her chest, wondering if you’ll brush it off or finally explain what holds you back.
You sigh, running a hand through your hair, your gaze shifting as if searching for the right words. You’ve always avoided this conversation, not because you don’t care about Isa’s feelings, but because the truth isn’t something you like to acknowledge—not even to yourself.
Finally, after a long pause, you look back at her, your expression serious but softened by affection. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just… complicated.”
The words sit between you, a partial explanation that leaves Isa feeling both relieved and unsatisfied. She knows you well enough to sense that you aren’t ready to share more, so she nods, squeezing your hand gently before releasing it. She won’t push you any further tonight, but a familiar ache remains, lingering like an unanswered question, a space between you still waiting to be bridged.
-----
The next day, as Isa strolled through the market, the weight of your quiet rejection still lingered, gnawing at her thoughts. The autumn air was crisp, carrying the earthy scent of fallen leaves and the comforting aroma of baked goods from nearby stalls, yet the usual warmth she felt here seemed dulled. The marketplace buzzed around her—children laughing, vendors calling out their offers—but Isa moved through it, distracted, her mind tethered to the unsettled feeling that trailed her since last night. As much as she loved you and felt a deep connection, there was this persistent gap—your quiet refusal to let her give you pleasure in the way she most wanted.
It wasn’t that you were harsh about it; you always deflected her with gentle excuses: Not right now, I’m too tired, You don’t need to. But Isa cherished to have this connection with you. For her, it was an act of love, something woven into her very identity. Giving herself in that way made her feel closer, like she was tapping into a deeper level of intimacy, one that words or gestures couldn’t quite match. Yet, every time she offered, you gently closed the door. The rejection, soft as it was, had begun to settle into her, like an ache that didn’t quite fade.
Lost in thought, Isa approached a vegetable stall, barely noticing the colorful array of produce before her. Just as she reached out to pick a ripe tomato, a familiar voice pulled her back to the present.
“Isa? Is that you?”
Isa looked up, her heart skipping a beat. There, standing a few feet away, was Sojang—your ex—smiling at her with an easy familiarity that immediately set Isa on edge. They had met once before, briefly, and Isa hadn’t thought much of her since. But seeing her here, unexpectedly, in the middle of her own thoughts about you, made Isa feel oddly unsettled, as if her internal worries were somehow surfacing before her.
“Oh, hey! Sojang, right?” Isa managed a smile, though it felt tight, her voice sounding more strained than she intended.
Sojang beamed, her expression disarmingly friendly, almost too friendly. “Yes! It’s so nice to run into you. How are you? How’s Y/N?”
Isa nodded, trying to mirror Sojang’s warmth. “I’m good! We’re good, thanks. Just picking up a few things for dinner,” she replied, hoping the conversation would remain light and fleeting.
“Ah, nice, nice,” Sojang said, her eyes gleaming with an interest that made Isa feel oddly exposed. There was something too sweet, too earnest in her tone. Isa couldn’t quite place why, but there was something about Sojang’s bright smile that felt like a performance, a mask that was a little too carefully worn. Isa pushed the thought away, telling herself she was just being paranoid.
They exchanged a few pleasantries, Sojang filling Isa in on her recent return to town. Isa responded politely, though the conversation felt increasingly forced, like Sojang was trying to carve out some deeper connection than Isa wanted. As she listened, Isa’s intuition prickled, a sense that Sojang’s friendliness was intentional, perhaps even calculated. Nothing was explicitly wrong, but her smile seemed too eager, like a practiced act Isa hadn’t signed up to watch.
Then, out of nowhere, Sojang’s tone shifted, becoming playfully teasing. She leaned in, her voice dropping conspiratorially. “So, since you’re with him, your jaw must be tired all the time, huh?” Sojang winked, a sly smirk dancing at the corner of her mouth.
Isa blinked, her mind momentarily freezing. “Uh… what?”
Sojang laughed, seemingly taking Isa’s reaction as bashfulness. “Oh, come on. You don’t have to pretend. I know he’s practically begging you to suck his dick all the time.” She winked again, as if they shared some private joke, as if they were in on the same secret.
Isa’s stomach dropped, a cold, twisting sensation gripping her. “I… um…” Her thoughts raced, scrambling for a response. That wasn’t you. You never begged for oral—if anything, you avoided it. What was Sojang talking about?
Oblivious to Isa’s discomfort, Sojang continued, her tone light, even bubbly. “Oh, trust me. He loves it. He was always asking me for it. Like, constantly. It was kind of his thing, you know? Blowjobs were his main way to unwind.” She giggled, reminiscing with a fondness that felt almost too casual, as if she were sharing a harmless story. “I mean, I used to joke that my jaw was always sore because of him!”
Isa tried to process Sojang’s words, but they didn’t align with the version of you she knew. Her pulse quickened, each beat intensifying the confusion as Sojang’s words echoed in her mind. Constantly? Always asking? She barely managed to keep her expression composed, though her head was spinning. This didn’t sound like you—at least, not the you she knew. The more she tried to piece it together, the more alien it felt.
With effort, she forced a smile, though it wavered. “That’s… interesting. I didn’t know that.”
“Oh yeah!” Sojang replied, all too happy to continue. “If there’s one thing he loved, it was a good blowjob. I used to give them to him all the time. It was like the highlight of his day,” she added with a carefree laugh. “I’m sure you’re keeping him satisfied.”
Isa’s throat tightened, each of Sojang’s words adding to a strange, hollow ache that made her feel smaller, less certain. The more Sojang talked, the more Isa felt a creeping sense of inadequacy. She wanted to respond, to say something—anything—but found herself grasping for words that wouldn’t come. You had never once hinted that you wanted that from her, and every time she offered, you politely refused. Yet here was Sojang, painting a completely different picture of you, one that seemed to revel in a kind of pleasure you wouldn’t let her give.
A sliver of doubt wormed its way into her thoughts, each repetition of Sojang’s words chipping away at her confidence. Was it her? Was she the problem?
“Yeah, um, well…” Isa stammered, her voice trailing off as she glanced down, feeling awkward and exposed in a conversation that had turned sharp without warning. Sojang kept talking, oblivious to Isa’s growing discomfort, but Isa could barely focus on her words. All she could think about was the contrast Sojang’s experience painted, a version of you that felt foreign, unsettling.
If you loved it so much, why didn’t you want it from her?
The question echoed in her mind, nagging, each repetition a sharper edge to her doubt. After a few more forced pleasantries, Sojang finally said her goodbyes, leaving Isa standing alone in the crowded market, the buzz of conversation and laughter around her feeling oddly muted. As Sojang walked away, a heavy feeling settled in Isa’s chest, as if she’d been blindsided, caught off guard in a game she hadn’t known she was playing. Sojang’s cheerful demeanor had made it seem casual, unimportant even, but Isa’s heart felt weighed down by confusion and self-doubt.
On the walk home, the conversation replayed in her mind, every detail sharpening the ache inside her. Sojang’s words kept circling back, as if taunting her: you loved it, needed it, craved it. So why didn’t you want it from her? Was something wrong with her? Did you not trust her the way you had trusted Sojang? Or was there something deeper—something about her that just didn’t move you in the same way?
The doubt gnawed at her, a relentless churning that she couldn’t shake. She told herself not to let Sojang’s words get to her, that people change, that your past with her was just that—the past. But the seeds of insecurity had been planted, and they were starting to take root, their grip tightening around her heart.
More than anything, something about Sojang’s comments unsettled her on a deeper level. The way Sojang had been too familiar, too knowing, as if she’d relished the chance to make Isa feel small. Isa tried to shake the thought, to dismiss it as paranoia, but the suspicion lingered, settling uncomfortably in the back of her mind.
By the time she reached home, the unease had only grown stronger, her heart weighed down with questions she was almost afraid to ask.
-----
That evening, you and Isa sat down for dinner together. You had prepared a comforting meal of pasta in a rosé sauce with a side of golden, buttery garlic bread. On Isa’s plate was a vibrant mix of grilled vegetables and quinoa sprinkled with fresh herbs. Normally, the familiar flavors and your shared meal would soothe her, but tonight, they barely registered. Her mind was elsewhere, tangled in the remnants of her encounter with Sojang and the unsettling thoughts that had trailed her all the way home.
You began chatting about your day, sharing funny stories from work, your face lighting up as you recounted your coworker’s clumsy misadventures with the new coffee machine. Isa nodded along, trying to stay present, even forcing a few laughs. But her mind kept drifting back to the market, to Sojang’s words, each one chipping at her sense of ease, making her quieter than usual.
After a moment, you looked up from your plate, brow furrowing as you noticed her stillness. “Hey, is the food okay?” you asked gently, eyes filled with concern. “You’ve barely touched it.”
Isa shook her head quickly, offering a faint smile. “Oh, no, it’s good,” she replied, taking a small, obligatory bite of her vegetables, though she hardly tasted them. She didn’t want to bring up Sojang or the thoughts stirring inside her—not now, not over dinner. But she couldn’t shake the tension, and every time she looked up, she could feel your worried gaze settling on her.
The two of you finished the meal in subdued silence, Isa barely eating, her appetite dulled by the emotions she was wrestling with. You quietly gathered the dishes and moved to the sink, washing them with your usual care, while Isa slipped into the bedroom, feeling the weight of her unresolved thoughts pressing down on her, heavier than before.
Later that evening, Isa sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her reflection in the mirror, her mind a whirl of doubt and frustration. From the bathroom, she could hear the sound of running water as you washed up, the quiet rhythm amplifying the silence around her. She tried to focus on her nightly routine, brushing her hair, massaging moisturizer into her skin, but her thoughts kept dragging her back to the market—to Sojang’s playful, almost taunting voice. I know he’s practically begging you to suck his dick all the time. The words echoed in her mind, louder and sharper with each repetition, until she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
How could Sojang’s experience with you have been so different from her own? Isa had tried to offer you that same intimacy, that same pleasure, only to be gently brushed off each time. She wanted to feel close to you in every way, to connect with you on the most vulnerable level, but your repeated refusals… they were beginning to feel like a rejection of her, not just of the act.
By the time she crawled into bed, you were coming out of the bathroom, hair damp, smile easy. Normally, Isa would feel comforted by your presence, but tonight her body tensed as you slid in beside her. You wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close like always, but instead of the familiar warmth she usually felt, Isa found herself resisting, a strange weight pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breathe.
“Hey,” you murmured, noticing her stiffness. You pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been quiet since dinner.”
Isa swallowed, managing a weak smile though her heart pounded in her chest. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
You didn’t look convinced. Shifting slightly, you propped yourself up on one elbow to study her face, concern etched in your expression. “Chae? You seem… off. Did I do something?”
Isa felt her throat tighten. She didn’t want to talk about it—not yet, not when her thoughts felt this raw and tangled. She wasn’t even sure how to explain it without sounding insecure. “I’m just tired,” she repeated softly, turning her head away. “Can we talk tomorrow?”
You hesitated, clearly worried, but you nodded, giving her space. “Alright,” you said gently, settling back down beside her. “But if something’s bothering you, you can tell me. You know that, right?”
Isa didn’t respond, keeping her back to you as she curled up on her side. Normally, she would lean into you, her back against your chest, feeling safe and grounded. But tonight, she held herself apart, feeling an unfamiliar anger simmering beneath her sadness. You shifted behind her, closing the gap between you, your arm slipping around her waist again, but she stayed still, not moving to nestle into your embrace.
“I love you,” you whispered, your voice soft, tinged with guilt. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry.”
Your words tugged at her heart, yet Isa couldn’t bring herself to respond. She wasn’t even sure if it was something you had done, or something inside herself that had shifted. She stayed turned away, eyes shut tightly, fighting against the frustration building in her chest. The image of Sojang’s cheerful, too-knowing smile and her casual comments gnawed at her, each one twisting further into her insecurities.
Eventually, Isa drifted into an uneasy sleep, her body still tense with your arm draped over her. But for the first time, the warmth she usually found in your touch felt distant, as if a wall had formed between you, quiet but unmistakable
-----
When Isa woke the next morning, sunlight filtered softly through the curtains, but it did nothing to ease the tension gripping her chest. She turned over, expecting to find you still asleep beside her, but you were already up, pulling on a t-shirt at the foot of the bed. You smiled when you saw her stirring.
“Morning, beautiful,” you said gently, crossing over to kiss her forehead. Your touch was familiar, warm, but Isa’s thoughts were elsewhere—trapped in yesterday’s conversation with Sojang.
Isa sat up slowly, her mind racing, replaying Sojang’s words over and over. You slipped back into bed beside her, draping an arm around her waist like you always did, but today, it felt wrong. She tensed, her skin crawling with unease. You kissed her shoulder, your lips soft against her skin, but Isa couldn’t stop the flood of thoughts—the image of Sojang talking so casually about how much you had loved receiving oral.
She tried to smile, tried to shake the thoughts from her head, but the tension inside her was building too fast. Isa pulled away from your touch, sitting at the edge of the bed, her hands trembling slightly in her lap. You immediately noticed the shift, frowning as she distanced herself.
“Chae... what’s going on?” you asked, your voice gentle but filled with concern. “You’re not yourself. Did I do something?”
Isa bit her lip, her chest tightening. She could feel the frustration and doubt bubbling up inside her, and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. The words tumbled out before she could stop them.
“Why won’t you let me do it?” she asked quietly, her voice tense.
You furrowed your brow, confused. “Do what?”
Isa’s hands tightened in her lap. She turned slightly toward you, her voice trembling as she spoke. “Give you head. Why won’t you ever let me? Why was it okay with Sojang but not with me?”
You instantly stiffened at her words. Your entire body went rigid, eyes narrowing slightly as you processed what she was asking. Your reaction was immediate and unmistakable.
“Wait... why did you and Sojang meet up?” you asked, your voice sharp with unease.
Isa blinked, caught off guard by your sudden tension. She frowned, shaking her head, thinking you were deflecting. “Seriously? That’s your concern right now? You’re trying to change the subject.”
Your eyes stayed fixed on her, body still stiff with discomfort. “No, I—I’m just asking—”
“Sojang told me everything,” Isa interrupted, her voice rising with emotion. “She said you two broke up on good terms. She made it sound like you had this perfect relationship and then just decided to part ways. She implied that blowjobs were practically your favorite thing.” Isa’s voice wavered as her insecurity bubbled up. “She made it sound like she could give you something I can’t. Is that why you keep pushing me away?”
Your face tightened further at the mention of Sojang, your jaw clenching as your eyes flickered with something Isa couldn’t quite read. She mistook your reaction for guilt, for confirmation of her worst fears.
“If that’s what you want—if you still want her—I can leave,” Isa continued, her voice cracking. “If you’d rather be with Sojang, just tell me. I won’t stand in the way.”
You blinked, expression shifting from tense to confused. “Wait, what?” you asked, clearly thrown off. “Leave? Babe, what are you talking about?”
“You guys are perfect for each other. I get it. If she’s still important to you, I won’t—”
“Chae, don’t think like that,” you interrupted, your voice firm but bewildered. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s not what this is about.”
Isa froze, tears pricking her eyes as she stared at you, her frustration and confusion now battling with her fear of rejection. “Then why?” Her voice broke, and her tears finally spilled over. “Why won’t you let me show you how much I love you? Why do you keep pushing me away? What’s wrong with me?”
Your face softened with guilt and regret, shoulders sagging as if the weight of what you had been holding back was finally crashing down on you. You reached out for her, but Isa pulled away, too hurt to accept your comfort.
“Honey, please, listen to me,” you said, your voice low, thick with emotion. “It’s not you. I swear, it’s not about you.”
“Then what is it?” Isa demanded, her voice trembling with frustration and heartache.
“Sojang...” you began, your voice strained, “she’s not what you think.”
Your hands trembled in your lap, eyes darting away from Isa’s as the weight of your past pressed down on you. You could feel your throat tighten, chest aching as memories you had tried to bury for so long began to resurface. Isa’s heart pounded in her chest, watching you with growing concern. She had never seen you like this—so vulnerable, so visibly distressed. You were always the strong one, the one who held her together when she felt like falling apart. But now, sitting there with your hands shaking and your gaze far away, she realized how much you had been hiding from her.
You took a deep breath, jaw tightening before you finally spoke, your voice low and strained. “Sojang... she’s not who you think she is. And we didn’t break up on good terms. We didn’t end things cleanly like she made it sound. I didn’t even tell her it was over face to face. I just... I left.”
Isa’s eyes widened slightly, her heart already sinking at the pain she could hear in your voice. “What do you mean?” she asked softly, not wanting to push, but needing to understand.
You stared at your hands, fingers fidgeting with the sheets as you tried to explain. “Sojang… She was my first girlfriend. I didn’t know any better back then. I didn’t have anything to compare it to. I was just happy that someone wanted to be with me, you know?” You glanced up at Isa, your eyes filled with a mixture of shame and sadness. “I thought that was love.”
Isa’s heart broke at your words. She could see it now—the innocence, the trust you had given Sojang, not knowing what a healthy relationship looked like. You had believed Sojang loved you, that the way she treated you was normal, and it made her stomach turn.
“At first, everything seemed fine,” you continued, your voice growing quieter. “But slowly, she started changing. She got controlling. She’d use sex as a way to manipulate me.”
Isa felt a lump form in her throat as your words sank in. She could see how much this was hurting you, how difficult it was for you to relive these memories. She wanted to reach out and comfort you, but she didn’t want to interrupt. You needed to get this out.
“She’d use it to punish me,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “Whenever I did something she didn’t like, whenever I tried to pull away from her, she’d… use her mouth to cause me pain. I know that sounds weird, but she knew exactly how to hurt me. She’d make it seem like it was this intimate thing, but it wasn’t. It was about control, about making me feel powerless.”
Isa’s breath caught in her throat, her mind reeling. The idea that Sojang had weaponized something so intimate, something that should have been about love and connection, made her feel sick.
“It got worse,” you continued, your voice barely above a whisper. “If I flinched, if I tried to tell her to stop, she’d accuse me of not being a real man. She’d say things like, ‘How can you not like blowjobs? What kind of guy doesn’t enjoy that?’ She made me feel like there was something wrong with me. And when I started to believe that... I didn’t know how to leave.”
You swallowed hard, your voice growing even quieter as the memories overwhelmed you. “Sojang would say things like, ‘Don’t you know how lucky you are to have a girl like me suck you off? You should be grateful.’ And for a while, I believed her. I thought… Maybe she was right. I didn’t feel lucky, but I felt like I had to be. Like I was crazy for not wanting it.”
Isa’s heart shattered as she listened. She had no idea that Sojang had twisted something so intimate into a way to control and demean you. Your hands clenched in your lap as you continued, the words pouring out now, like you had been holding them in for too long.
“I hated it,” you said, your voice raw. “But I stayed because I thought that was what love was supposed to be. I thought… I thought maybe this was all I was worth. Maybe she was right.”
Isa’s tears fell freely now. She wanted to reach out, to tell you that none of it had been your fault, that you weren’t the problem, but she stayed silent, letting you finish.
“I started dreading it,” you continued, your voice breaking slightly. “Every time she’d order me to undress, I knew it wasn’t about love or making me feel good. It was about control. And I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know how to stop it.”
Isa’s stomach churned, imagining the fear and helplessness you must have felt, trapped in a relationship with someone who wielded intimacy as a weapon.
“I couldn’t take it anymore,” you said, your voice barely audible now. “I reached my breaking point, and one night, I just… I left. I snuck out. Cut all contact. I didn’t even tell her it was over. I was scared she’d pull me back in again. I was scared she’d make me feel like I was the problem, all over again.”
Isa’s tears blurred her vision as she reached out, placing a hand on your arm. “Oh my God… I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” Her voice cracked, filled with sorrow and regret. She couldn’t believe how much you had been holding inside, how much you had been carrying alone.
You finally looked up at her, your expression filled with pain but also relief, as if finally saying these words had lifted some of the weight from your chest. But your eyes still carried that haunted look, as though the trauma lingered, even after all this time.
“That’s why I can’t let you do it,” you said softly, your voice hoarse. “It’s not about you, baby. I love you. But every time you offer, all I can think about is her. The pain. The manipulation. I don’t want to go back there.”
Isa’s heart shattered all over again. She had thought your refusals were about her, but now she saw it for what it was—a way to protect yourself from reliving the nightmare that had nearly broken you.
Tears streamed down her face as she scooted closer to you, wrapping her arms around you tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her tears. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
You didn’t cry, but she could feel the tension in your body, the way your muscles were taut, as though you were barely holding yourself together. You had always been the strong one, the one who held everything together. And now, here you were, crumbling in her arms, showing her the depth of your vulnerability.
“You’re not weak,” Isa whispered, pressing her forehead against your shoulder, her voice choked with emotion. “You’re not. You’re the strongest person I know, and I love you so much.”
You didn’t speak for a moment, but your hand found hers, squeezing it gently. It was a small gesture, but Isa knew what it meant. You were letting her in, slowly, piece by piece.
The two of you sat there in silence, Isa holding you as if her embrace could somehow mend the cracks in your heart. She wished it could. She wished she could erase all the pain your ex had caused you, take away the trauma that had scarred you so deeply. But she knew that wasn’t possible.
All she could do was be there for you. To love you. To show you that this—your love—was real, and safe, and nothing like the twisted version Sojang had given you.
“I love you,” Isa whispered again, her tears dampening your shoulder. 
-----
In the days and weeks following your confession, something shifted between you and Isa—not in a bad way, but in a way that made her feel even closer to you. She hadn’t realized just how much you had been holding inside, how much of yourself you’d kept hidden. Now that you’d shared your past, there was a lightness about you that Isa had never seen before.
You were still the strong, steady man she’d always known, but now there was a vulnerability you allowed yourself to show. You smiled more, laughed a bit louder, and even in the quiet moments between you, there was a newfound ease. It wasn’t that your trauma had vanished—it never would—but confiding in Isa had released some of its hold, and that brought her a profound sense of love and pride.
Isa never pushed, nor did she bring up what you had told her unless you wanted to talk. She understood that healing was not something that happened overnight, and she didn’t want you to feel rushed or like you had to “fix” yourself for her. She was simply there, letting you go at your own pace, accepting that some things might never change and that this was okay.
Still, she made sure you knew she was there for you, whenever you were ready.
One evening, as you lay in bed together, Isa turned to you, cupping your face gently. “I just want you to know,” she whispered, her voice warm with love, “that whenever—or if ever—you feel ready, I’d love to show you what real love feels like. Not the kind that hurts, not the kind that controls. Just love. Real, safe, and full of trust.”
Your eyes softened, and you covered her hand with yours, saying nothing but giving her a look that held everything she needed to know. You weren’t ready yet, but Isa’s patience meant the world to you.
So, life continued. You grew more open, letting yourself be more at ease. Isa noticed the subtle ways you began to change—the quiet confidence that started to return, the warmth in your touch, the way you kissed her a little longer each morning. Your bond grew deeper, and Isa felt a pride she couldn’t put into words, watching you heal, knowing she had created a space for you to feel safe.
Then, as time passed, things shifted. Slowly but surely, the weight you carried seemed lighter, and the shadows in your gaze began to lift. You still had difficult days, times when memories resurfaced, and Isa could sense your mind drifting to a place she couldn’t reach. But you no longer shut her out. You let her in, allowing her to be with you even when the darkness threatened to creep back in.
And Isa never pushed. She loved you, and that was more than enough.
Soon, your birthday arrived, a day Isa had been secretly looking forward to it. There was no need for grand gestures—it was just a day for the two of you, a time to celebrate how far you had come together. You spent the day as you always did—laughing, reminiscing, and filling each other’s lives with stories and small joys. That evening, after a cozy dinner at your favorite little restaurant, you walked home hand-in-hand, the city lights shimmering like stars around you, the crisp night air wrapping you both in a sense of warmth and belonging.
When you got home, you pulled her into your arms as soon as you crossed the doorway, your embrace tender but filled with affection. Isa’s heart fluttered as you whispered softly against her hair.
“Happy birthday,” she murmured, looking up at you with a soft smile.
“Thank you,” you replied, gazing back at her with a warmth that made her feel like the only person in the world.
The rest of the evening was spent together, curled up on the couch, comfortable and content in your little bubble. Isa had no expectations for the night; she was simply grateful to be with you, sharing another beautiful year. But as the night wore on, she noticed something different in your demeanor—a quiet intensity in your gaze, a sense of anticipation in your touch, as though you were building up to something.
Later, as you lay in bed, you turned to her, your eyes searching hers, the sincerity and calmness in your gaze making her heart race.
“Chae,” you began softly, your voice a bit shy, a hint of hesitation as you traced gentle patterns on her arm. “I’ve been thinking about what you said… about showing me what real love feels like.”
Isa blinked, her heart suddenly pounding. She hadn’t expected you to bring it up—not tonight, not even ever if you didn’t want to. She sat up a little, holding your gaze, her excitement barely contained.
You took a steadying breath, your fingers curling around hers. “I think I’m ready,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I want to try… with you.” Your eyes softened, the weight of your words filled with trust. “I trust you, more than anyone.”
Isa’s breath caught, her heart swelling with joy. You had always been the one to gently refuse when she offered to give you head, and she had never thought you’d be the one to ask.
And then, as if reading her thoughts, you added softly, “I was wondering if… if you’d still want to. I mean, if you still wanted to… you know…”
“Yes!” Isa answered, her voice bright with excitement before you could even finish your sentence. Her cheeks flushed, a soft, shy laugh escaping her as she realized how eagerly she’d spoken. “I mean… yes,” she whispered, this time more softly, her face glowing with love and anticipation.
Your eyes lit up at her response, and Isa couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face. She’d been waiting for this—not just because of the act itself, but because it meant you trusted her in a way you hadn’t been able to before.
“You’re sure?” Isa whispered, her voice tender, but her heart raced with excitement. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to… I’d be happy to wait.”
You smiled, reaching up to gently cup her cheek. “I’m sure,” you murmured, warmth in your eyes. “I want this. With you.”
With a soft smile, Isa moved closer, leaning down to press gentle kisses along your chest, her lips trailing slowly, savoring the feel of your skin. Each kiss was a promise, filled with the love she held for you—a love that was gentle, safe, and real, just as she had always hoped to give.
As her kisses moved lower, Isa could feel your breath deepen, the slow rise and fall of your chest as you allowed yourself to relax. Her hands slid down your torso, brushing over the hard planes of your stomach, and she smiled to herself, feeling the slight shiver of your muscles responding to her touch. There was something deeply intimate about these moments—something Isa had craved, not just for herself, but for you.
She reached your hips, her fingers teasing along the waistband of your boxers, and she could feel the tension there, the quiet anticipation that came with trusting someone enough to let them in. Isa paused, her lips brushing against your hip bone as she looked up at you, meeting your eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice a soft whisper, wanting to make sure you were truly ready.
Your gaze met hers, your breathing a little heavier now, but there was no hesitation in your eyes. You gave her a small nod, your hand threading gently through her hair. “I’m okay,” you whispered. “I’m more than okay.”
With a gentle nod from you, Isa slowly pulled down your boxers, revealing you to her. For a moment, she simply paused, admiring you, taking in the quiet beauty of this moment—your body, open and vulnerable, trusting her completely in the most intimate way. Her heart swelled with love, understanding that this wasn’t just about the act itself but about showing you that intimacy could be safe and beautiful.
Her hand wrapped around you first, her touch soft and unhurried. She felt you respond immediately, a subtle tension running through your muscles as her fingers moved in a gentle, deliberate rhythm. Isa’s heart skipped as she saw you like this—open, trusting, letting her guide each moment. She brushed her thumb over the sensitive tip, watching as your breath hitched, your hand tightening slightly in her hair, not guiding or pushing, just resting there, a silent expression of trust.
Isa lowered her head, taking you into her mouth with tender care, her lips wrapping slowly around you as she savored the warmth of your skin. She moved deliberately, her hands resting on you, steady and reassuring, her mouth exploring you with gentle affection. Each movement was thoughtful, her focus entirely on you, every moment filled with care.
She heard soft sounds escape your lips—quiet, breathy sighs that let her know you were starting to let go. Your hand stayed light on her head, not guiding, just there, a reassuring reminder that you felt safe. Isa moved at her own pace, unhurried, making sure each second was filled with intention and love. There was no rush, no goal; she simply wanted you to feel safe, to understand that this could be pure and healing.
Isa found herself enjoying each second, more deeply than she had expected. It wasn’t just about your pleasure—it was about seeing you let go, watching your body respond in a way that showed you were leaving the pain of the past behind. A quiet warmth flooded her chest, a sense of fulfillment, knowing she was finally able to give you this kind of love and closeness.
As she continued, Isa felt your breathing grow more unsteady, your muscles tensing as you edged closer. Her movements remained gentle but purposeful, her hand and mouth moving in sync. Every soft sound you made, every shiver, filled her with pride, knowing you were allowing her to take you to this vulnerable place. To her, it felt like a gift you were both sharing.
A moment later, your breath hitched sharply, your hand tightening in her hair as if bracing yourself. “Oh, fuck, Chae,” you breathed out, voice thick with a blend of surprise and pleasure. Hearing her name from you, Isa felt a surge of warmth, a quiet assurance that you were allowing yourself to feel fully, without holding back.
Your body tensed one last time, every muscle tightening as Isa felt the warmth of your release fill her mouth, unexpectedly intense. Her eyes widened in slight surprise, her heart swelling with the depth of the trust you had placed in her. The sensation was overwhelming, but she held steady, her lips remaining gentle and firm around you as she guided you through each wave, ensuring you felt safe, cherished, and seen.
As each pulse flowed into her, Isa’s movements grew even more tender, her hands holding you with care, a gentle presence as she felt you surrender completely. She swallowed softly, letting you essence fill her completely, her touch light and reassuring. Each subtle twitch, each surge of release, was a testament to the vulnerability you were willing to share, and she received it all with love.
With every pump, Isa could feel your tension melting away, and a quiet pride blossomed within her. She knew what this moment meant—that you had entrusted her with something sacred, a vulnerability once guarded. She felt a sense of fulfillment, a deep sense of joy and purpose, as she coaxed you through each wave, letting you know with every gentle movement that you were safe and deeply cherished.
Keeping her mouth softly around you, Isa lingered, savoring the warmth of every response from your body. Each twitch, each gentle pulse, filled her with satisfaction, a connection she had longed to share with you. This was her love in action, a gift of care and devotion. The fullness of that feeling glowed within her, making each touch an act of affection.
When you glanced down, your breath caught at the sight of her—her mouth still gently surrounding you, her eyes meeting yours with a look so full of care, warmth, and adoration that it sent a shiver through you. Her gaze was unwavering, her expression beautifully open, filled with a love that went beyond words.
With a slow, tender swirl of her tongue, Isa gently lapped up every last trace, her movements graceful and attentive, savoring each second. Her lips stayed around you until she released you with a soft, lingering pop. She then pressed a gentle kiss to your tip, a shimmering thread connecting her lips to you for a moment before it faded, leaving her with a soft smile of pure contentment.
Feeling deeply fulfilled, Isa continued to shower you with tender kisses, each one unhurried and filled with meaning. She traced a delicate path along your length, her mouth warm, her kisses gentle and intentional, as though committing every inch of you to memory. Her heart swelled with love and pride, knowing that you were allowing her to be this close, to give you this intimacy. Each kiss felt like a balm, a way of rewriting the past, easing old hurts with a touch that was gentle and true.
She took her time, mixing in soft licks with her kisses, her gaze never leaving yours. She wanted you to feel her presence in every touch, to know that this was her gift to you—a gift of safety, of trust, of unconditional love.
With one final, lingering kiss to your tip, Isa’s lips held there, as if sealing a promise. Then, slowly, she began to kiss her way back up, her warm lips trailing along your skin, savoring every inch. Each kiss felt like an affirmation, a reminder that she was exactly where she wanted to be, giving herself to you in a way that felt both sacred and healing.
When she finally lay beside you, your chest was still rising and falling, your breath heavy as you came down from the high of her love. Isa rested her hand lightly on your chest, feeling the steady beat of your heart beneath her palm, her own heart swelling with fulfillment and joy.
For a few quiet moments, neither of you spoke, letting the silence fill with warmth and contentment. Finally, as your breathing settled, you turned to Isa, your eyes wide, your expression a mixture of amazement and gratitude. For a moment, you seemed at a loss for words, simply gazing at her with a quiet reverence. And then, with a soft laugh, you shook your head, holding her close, knowing that words could never capture what you both had just shared.
“Honey… that was…” You paused, breath still uneven, feeling your heart race as you searched for words. “I mean, I don’t even know what to say. That was… incredible. You’re incredible.”
Isa’s lips curved into a soft smile, her own chest warm with the closeness you’d just shared. She let out a laugh, eyes bright as she leaned her head against your shoulder. “Speechless?” she teased, giving your arm a gentle squeeze. “I think that might be a first.”
You laughed, shaking your head, still catching your breath. “I don’t think I’ll find words anytime soon. That was… way beyond anything I ever imagined it could be.” You rubbed a hand over your face, still looking a bit dazed. “Chae, you’re just… I can’t believe how... we need to do that again.”
Isa let out another soft laugh, her face lighting up as she took in your reaction, the awe in your expression making her feel more than just appreciated—she felt deeply cherished, like she had given you a gift that mattered. Leaning in, she pressed a playful kiss to your nose. “Glad I could surprise you,” she whispered, her voice filled with warmth.
You grinned, still in awe. “Surprise doesn’t even cover it,” you said, shaking your head, the sincerity in your voice deepening. “That was…wow.”
Isa’s laughter softened, a tender look settling in her eyes as her fingers traced soft, comforting circles on your chest. “Well, I’m glad I could be the one to show you,” she said, her voice gentle, filled with love. “You deserve to feel this way, to feel safe, to feel everything. And… I’m just glad I could be here for you.”
You reached for her hand, intertwining your fingers, giving them a gentle, lingering squeeze. “Thank you,” you murmured, voice thick with emotion as you met her gaze. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to find someone like you.”
Isa’s playful smile softened, her gaze warm as she squeezed your hand in return. “I think we’re both pretty lucky,” she said, a light laugh escaping her as she nestled closer. “And honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
You shook your head, still grinning. “Lucky doesn’t even come close,” you whispered, pulling her close, wrapping your arms around her as if to hold onto this moment forever.
You lay together, letting the silence settle between you, comfortable and content, Isa’s heart swelling with joy at having been able to share this moment with you, and you filled with gratitude for her presence, her patience, and her love. She leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your chest, letting her lips linger over the steady beat of your heart. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice soft and full of warmth.
You pulled her even closer, feeling her warmth against you, a profound sense of peace washing over you. “I love you too, Chaeyoung,” you replied, voice low and filled with sincerity. “More than I ever thought possible.”
With a quiet sigh, Isa tucked herself into you, her hand resting over your heart as the two of you let the night wrap around you, safe in each other’s arms, both knowing that this love was everything you had ever needed.
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silverskyeline · 2 months ago
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ੈ♡˳ the man in the mirror . old man logan x gn!reader
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a/n: very angsty. hurt/comfort short drabble for the 'mirror' prompt for logantober <3 (600 words)
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he's hunched over the sink again, his once hulking form now looking strangely fragile. it's a sight he hates, a sight he loathes to see reflected in the mirror. his chest is bare, scars twisting down his form in a bitter reminder of how far he's fallen. of what's slowly being taken from him.
the faint clink of metal hitting porcelain catches your ear and you shuffle out of bed, a warmth spreading in your chest at the sight of him, he's home. but the warmth soon dissipates, replaced with a much heavier feeling upon seeing the bullets slowly drop into the sink.
he's struggling, something that was once so easy to do now so very difficult. you wince at the sight, knowing that it has always been painful enough for him never mind now.
there's no room for words in the small space of the bathroom, no room for words in logan's mind either. he's so tired, exhaustion eating his bones and stealing his breath from his lungs.
instead, you hesitantly step closer, wrapping your arms around him from behind. you press your lips to the rough skin of his back, closing your eyes as you nuzzle your cheek against him. it's a silent comfort, one to let him know you're there, you'll always be there.
logan doesn't flinch, his eyes stuck on himself in the mirror as sweat beads on his forehead. his wounds aren't healing. he can't keep doing this, he knows that. but he can't help it. no matter how hard he desperately tries to find peace or solace, trouble follows him like a beast stalking prey. it's not his fault.
it's not his fault.
you let your hands splay out across the skin of his chest, hoping that somehow if you hold him tighter he'll be able to heal, like you can fix him with your love alone. but your fingers trace across wounds that would once disappear, that now mark his skin with deep cruelty.
and all you can offer him is love.
but all he can focus on is the man in the mirror, if he can even still call him a man at all. a ghost who's past expiry, who's tired of facing himself in his own reflection.
with a shaky exhale, logan brings a hand to cover both of yours on his chest, eyes fluttering closed as he allows himself to feel you, to come back to the moment with you.
he's not dead yet. and with the moments he has left, he swears, he'll look after you the way you look after him. he'll protect you, offer you this same comfort while he still can.
his eyes open to meet his own in the mirror once more, now noting your smaller frame wrapped around his. he's not alone, not some suffering animal snarling in a bear trap in the middle of the woods waiting to die. he'll allow himself this one pleasure, you, a beacon calling him back to shore each time he's stolen by violent waves.
". . . let's go to bed, darlin'." his voice rumbles in his chest and back against you, giving your hand a gentle pat.
he's done looking at the man in the mirror. logan would much rather spend his time admiring you, committing every feature to memory in the hopes that he can hold the image of you close each time he's lost in that cataclysmic sea within his mind.
the man in the mirror can meet him at death's door, but he knows the vision of you will follow him long after he passes through that exit.
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glossysoap · 5 months ago
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beta soap bites your hip hard trying to leave a scar. alphas price and simon forbid him from touching you until it heals. he falls to his knees with a whined moan when you pull down your waistband to show that while it doesn’t look much like a bite anymore it did very much scar
FUCKFUCKFUCK.
i’m fucking obsessed with the pathetic pup soap we’ve reduced him to in our dms 😭 so take some of that in these next few answers
18+, afab reader, marking, alphas teaming up to punish johnny, pup johnny. posting this then going to bed ✌🏼
the whole pack had been lazing after an especially long mating session, all sleep warm and snuggled together on your spacious bed that was lined with everyone’s clothes. a perfect nest.
you were sandwiched between their bulky, hairy bodies as you let the aftershocks of your orgasm rack through you. chests heaving and skin covered in a sheen of sweat. thighs damp from the wet cloth your alphas had cleaned you with before slipping back into their position in bed. your eyes are heavy as you snuggle into the chest of whoever was pressed against your front, their comforting scent filling your nose as you breathed in.
your sleeping arrangements varied by the day, or however everyone felt like sleeping. sometimes you would be sandwiched between the two alphas while soap and gaz would act as backpacks to the alphas, you in the middle of it all. other times you would be sandwiched between soap and gaz, with the two hulking alphas curling around the three of you.
regardless, just imagine that soap isn't cuddled up next to you for this specific situation.
you'd be burying your head in the hairy chest of whoever was in front of you, feeling your breath even out as his scent lulled you to sleep - when you felt the bed dip towards the end. someone was moving, probably just readjusting to be more comfortable.
you paid it no mind.
until you felt someone's hands brushing up against your legs as the bed dipped a bit more again, like someone was crawling up the bed.
your brows furrowed in your near sleep, moving to lift up your head and glance down but a heavy hand gently comes down on your head to keep you nuzzled in their chest.
"no need for your stirrin'," price's husky voice rumbles somewhere over you (you were so fucked out that he could've been on either side of you for all you knew) with all the commanding yet nurturing presence of the alpha he was. "get some rest, pup."
it was almost embarrassing how quickly you settled, nuzzling your face in the chest in front of you, feeling the warmth and inhaling the comforting scent.
you had just started sinking into the black nothingness of slumber when you felt the familiar feeling of a mouth latching onto your hip. all warm and wet and hungry. teeth nibbling at the soft skin, tongue tracing your stretch marks with a pleased hum.
a sleepy smile stretched across your lips as you reached down to pet the head of whoever was kissing your hip. you let out a sleepy chuckle as your hand finds the shaggy, mussed up mohawk that belongs to johnny.
“mmm, what’re you up to, baby?” you mumble sleepily, words feeling like lead in your mouth as you tried not to fall back asleep. he only hummed against your hip as he kept mouthing at the skin.
you felt a sharp sting at your hip. you gasped and winced in pain, head lifting from the warm chest in front of you to look down at your hip. he had sunk his teeth into your skin and drawn blood. his lips were stained with red and no doubt his teeth and tongue would look the same.
“johnny, what—” you try swatting him off but he just grips you tighter around your thighs. all the while, you feel weight shifting around you as the two alphas and the beta around you hear your pained hiss.
“johnny,” price warned, sitting up fully in bed. “soap.” he barked, using the betas callsign when johnny didn’t respond or obey. he fixed the beta with a glare, daring him to keep biting you and depriving you of your needed sleep. when johnny didn’t let go quick enough, the alpha reached down and got the betas neck in a scruff hold.
“johnny, heel.” simon warned as he sat up in bed as well, adding onto the reprimand that the other alpha had sent johnny’s way.
while the two alphas were busy reprimanding the beta, kyle had cuddled up next to you with his head nestled by your hips. his tongue worked to lap at the bite wound johnny left, soothing the broken skin and savoring the taste of your blood.
“try and go back to sleep, love.” kyle murmurs into your hip, his hands grazing your skin and doing wonders to draw you back to sleep. you plop your head back onto your pillow with a sigh and feel kyle climb up so he was cuddling you, his face buried into your neck and his arms wrapped around your middle.
meanwhile, both alphas has sandwiched johnny on the far side of the big bed, keeping his insatiable desires caged in. clearly the pup still had some energy left in him and the two alphas needed to tire him out proper.
soap was nestled between the two alphas, price’s chest to his back and simon’s chest pressed against johnny’s chest. john’s cock was buried in the betas still-slick hole, filling him up and keeping him still. well behaved. while the lieutenants hand was wrapped around johnny’s slick, throbbing cock and steadily stroking. rubbing the swollen tip teasingly, letting his cum spread along the length.
every stroke made johnny want to buck his hips into simon’s hand but price’s hands were keeping johnny’s ass planted on his cock - not to mention the alphas knot that was steadily swelling inside of the beta, keeping him attached.
it didn’t take much for either you or kyle to fall back asleep since you were so exhausted from the extensive mating session, your breathing leveling out.
you and kyle, the good pups, fell into a deep sleep at the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the pathetic whines from the other beta.
(….)
the time following the bite was pure torture for johnny. the two alphas had, for all intents and purposes, forbid him from touching you until it healed. they claimed it was to teach him a lesson in obedience, but whatever the reason for his punishment was, it was driving him crazy.
it drove him insane to see you every day and not be able to swoop you up into his arms or kiss your neck as you cooked. or nestle himself between your thighs and eat you out like a man starved. or push your legs up to your chest and ease his cock into your hungry cunt.
both of you were in the kitchen when he was able to touch you again, when it was fully healed.
you were standing by the stove, stirring some soup that was cooking when you heard him walking up behind you. you smiled, knowing that you were fully healed so he could touch you again. he hovered inches away from you, as if waiting for you to give him the go ahead.
you only nodded, letting him pull your waistband down a few inches to reveal the bite - and by god if he didn’t start drooling at the sight of it healed into a perfect scar.
“oh, fuck me, bonnie.”
he fell right onto his knees on the kitchen floor, pawing at your shorts as he stared up at you. wearing those big puppy eyes that were all glossed over with lust and desperation. he was waiting for you to give him even more permission.
you turned the stove off, set the wooden spoon down and put your full attention on the beta. you couldn’t help but smile and cup his cheek as you looked down at him.
“go on, johnny.” is all you’re able to get out before he’s scooping you up and setting you on the island. you lay back on your elbows as you watch him get to work, yanking down your shorts and panties in one fell swoop.
his big arms work to keep your legs spread as his mouth dives in, tongue darting out to lap at your juices and mouth closing around your clit.
the whole time he’s eating you out, he’s murmuring “m sorry”s and “missed you”s into your cunt.
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bookwormjust · 2 months ago
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Slow healing (established relationship, Azriel’s mate)
You winced as the glass slipped from your hand, shattering on the floor. Without thinking, you knelt to clean it up, but a sharp pain shot through your palm as a shard embedded itself in your skin. Blood welled up immediately, and your heart sank. This was the third time this week you’d hurt yourself. And this time, you knew Azriel would see the blood.
Sure enough, he appeared almost instantly, his shadows curling protectively around you. His sharp intake of breath made your stomach twist. His eyes went wide with panic as he rushed forward, his hands gently gripping yours to inspect the wound. "You’re hurt," he muttered, his voice low but strained. 
“It’s just a small cut,” you said softly, trying to ease his worry. But you knew better. With your slow healing, even a minor injury like this would take days to fully close up, leaving you vulnerable in ways that the rest of the Fae never had to worry about. And Azriel hated that—hated that you weren’t healing as fast as everyone else, hated that you were always one step away from real harm. 
He cursed softly under his breath, his wings flaring out slightly, a sign of his growing tension. His hands, usually so gentle, were trembling as he pulled you to the sink and began cleaning the cut. "You can’t keep doing this," he whispered, though there was no anger in his voice, only fear. "You’re not like everyone else, love. You can’t heal quickly, and I—I can’t stand to see you like this."
You could feel the weight of his worry, the way it pressed down on him like a physical burden. He had always been overprotective, but ever since he realized that your healing regeneration was so much slower than others, his instinct to keep you safe had intensified. 
When you bumped into a piece of furniture or cut yourself while cooking, it was never just a small injury to him. He saw each bruise, each scratch, as a threat. And you couldn’t blame him. You knew how much he loved you, how deeply the bond ran between you. But it was suffocating sometimes, the way he hovered, his shadows constantly watching, ready to intervene at the slightest sign of danger.
"I’m fine, Azriel," you said, placing your hand over his, trying to calm him. But his eyes were stormy, and he shook his head.
"No," he replied firmly. "You’re not. Every time you get hurt, it’s worse because you don’t heal like the others. You could get an infection, or worse—" His voice broke, and his wings sagged as he lowered his head. "I just... I can’t lose you."
Your heart softened at the raw vulnerability in his words. You reached up, cupping his face in your hands. "You won’t lose me, Azriel. I promise you. But you can’t keep wrapping me in shadows every time something happens. I’m not fragile."
His hands tightened around yours, his shadows curling anxiously at your feet. "To me, you are. You don’t heal like we do, and it terrifies me."
You let out a breath, pulling him into a hug. His wings folded around you, creating a warm, protective cocoon. "I know you want to protect me," you whispered against his chest. "But I’m still here. I’ll be careful, I promise. Just... try to trust me a little."
Azriel exhaled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "I’ll try. But don’t ask me to stop worrying. You’re too important to me."
And though you knew he’d never fully stop being overprotective, you also knew that no matter what, you’d always be safe in his arms—even when the world wasn’t.
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caplanbuckybarnes · 2 months ago
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Heaven High (logan)
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Summary: Logan tells you how much he adores you.
WC: 1K
Warnings: angst
A/N; there was a mistake that I placed this under a fluff. I was mistaking it with another Logan fic that I have in the works. I apologize.
Read on Ao3!
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The quiet hum of the hospital room buzzed in your ears, a dull contrast to the chaos roaring in your heart. You laid still, eyes half-lidded, body fragile and weak. The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound marking time, but you didn’t need to hear it to know the truth. Time was running out.
Logan sat by your side, his calloused hand wrapped around yours. His thumb absently traced circles over your skin, a soothing rhythm he had adopted without thinking, like he was trying to will your heart to beat a little longer. He didn’t say much; he never did when the silence felt this heavy. But you knew he was there. He always was.
“Logan…” you whispered, your voice a raspy shadow of what it once was. The simple act of speaking felt like it took more energy than you had left.
He turned his head toward you instantly, his expression softening at the sound of your voice. The fierce intensity he carried everywhere, the weight of the world he seemed to bear on his shoulders, faded for a moment as his gaze met yours.
“Hey,” he said softly, leaning closer. His voice was gravelly, rough around the edges like everything about him, but there was warmth in it that only you ever really got to hear. “Don’t talk. Just rest.”
A weak smile tugged at the corners of your lips, but the effort was too much. “I don’t… have time to rest,” you murmured, your chest aching with the weight of what was coming. “Not anymore.”
Logan’s jaw clenched, the muscles in his face tightening as if he could physically stop the truth from sinking in. He had fought for you—God, how he had fought—but not even the Wolverine could win this battle. His healing factor couldn’t heal you.
“You don’t get to talk like that,” he growled, though there was no real anger behind his words. Just pain. The kind of pain he couldn’t fix, and it was tearing him apart. “You’re not done yet.”
You closed your eyes briefly, trying to summon the strength to push through, if only for him. The man who had been your rock, your shelter in the storm. The man who had loved you in ways he hadn’t thought he was capable of.
“I wish…” Your breath caught, and Logan immediately reached up, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle. “I wish I could stay longer. With you.”
He didn’t say anything at first, but his grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly, as if holding you a little closer would keep you from slipping away. His brows furrowed, the strain of holding it together evident in the tense line of his mouth.
“You’re not leavin’ me yet,” he said, his voice low, almost desperate. “I’m not lettin’ you go.”
A tear slid down your cheek, the weight of your reality settling between the two of you like a shadow you couldn’t escape. You had been through so much together—more battles than either of you could count, more heartache than most could endure. But this? This was the fight Logan couldn’t win.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words breaking your heart as much as his. “I’m sorry I can’t stay.”
Logan’s breath hitched, and for the first time since you had known him, you saw the crack in his armor. The Wolverine, unbreakable, unstoppable—shattered.
“Don’t say that,” he choked out, his hand trembling slightly as he cupped your face. “You don’t have to be sorry. You didn’t ask for this.”
You let out a soft, shaky breath, your hand reaching up weakly to cover his. His skin felt rough under your fingertips, but it was warm—comforting. You had always felt safe with him, even when the world around you had been anything but.
“I wish I could tell you… how much you’ve meant to me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “How much I love you.”
Logan closed his eyes, his forehead pressing gently against yours. He stayed like that, silent for a moment, as if trying to memorize the feel of you, the sound of your breath, the warmth of your skin. When he pulled back, his eyes were glassy, filled with emotions he couldn’t contain any longer.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he murmured, his voice raw, breaking. “I know. I’ve always known.”
A soft smile tugged at your lips as you gazed up at him. Even now, even with the end so close, you couldn’t help but marvel at the way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.
“Good,” you breathed, closing your eyes for a moment, feeling the exhaustion pulling at you. “Because I adore you, Logan. I hope… I hope the heavens know how much.”
Logan’s grip on your hand tightened, his thumb brushing over your knuckles like he could hold you there with him just a little longer. He looked away for a moment, as if he couldn’t bear to hear those words. But then he turned back, his voice a broken whisper as he leaned closer to you.
“They know,” he rasped, his lips brushing your temple. “And if they don’t… I’ll make sure they do.”
A tear slipped down his cheek, but you were too weak to wipe it away this time. You just stared up at him, your vision fading, but all you could see was him—the man who had been so much more than a hero to you. He had been your everything.
“Logan…”
“I’m right here, darlin’,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not without you.”
You smiled weakly, your eyelids fluttering as the world grew dimmer. You wanted to say more, to tell him just how much he had saved you—how much his love had meant. But the words wouldn’t come. Your breath was shallow now, the end closer than ever.
Logan stayed there, holding you close, his own heart breaking as yours faltered.
“I love you,” he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. “More than I ever knew how to say.”
And as your eyes finally closed, you felt his lips press against your skin, his voice the last thing you heard before the darkness took you.
“I hope heaven knows how much I adore you too.”
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arjwrites · 4 months ago
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crawl home to her- dean winchester x fem!reader
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summary: heaven or hell, dean will always crawl home to you.
warnings: brief mentions of hell, references to drinking, fem!reader
word count: 1.4k
a/n: i got a bit carried away with this one and it ended up a little longer than anticipated hehehe i had too many ideas. this song is so sickening and is so dean-coded in the very best way. i hope you enjoy <3
arj's 100 follower event
xxx
Dean awoke in a permeating blackness, blinking his eyes, unable to tell at what point they were open or closed. His first instinct? To draw in a deep, sharp breath. His lungs resisted him, hesitant to stretch and swell as if they had been sitting stagnant for months. They offered him no help in forming words, a call for help. It took him a minute to gather his bearings, but the next thought that came to his mind? You. And from that moment, his body took over. As he kicked his way out of the pine box and clawed his way through the cold and heavy earth, he felt almost animalistic. He didn’t know where he was, he hardly knew who he was, but he knew he had to crawl home to you. Wherever you were. 
As Dean emerged from the ground, he gasped for air- clean, fresh air. It swirled around inside of him, exacerbating the emptiness of the cavern of his chest. He grappled with the earth around him, arms reaching out in a desperate fervor to pull him safely from the grave. There were sensations everywhere, almost screaming at him, so loud and foreign as if he hadn’t experienced them in… he didn’t know how long. The tickling of the damp grass against his arms, the hot sun beating down on his back, the heavy breeze settling behind him. It was you, he thought. It had to be your way of welcoming him back earthside- planting soft green kisses to his skin, wrapping him in healing warmth and light, and lifting him up to carry him home with the wind. He let his body push him to his feet, feeling every flex and release of his muscles individually, excruciatingly. 
 It was agonizing for Dean to will one foot in front of the other, trudging aimlessly in search of civilization. Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the hunger, but he could see you right there next to him, clear as day, coaching him through each step of his journey. You floated along next to him like an angel, filling his emptiness and setting direction in his footsteps. 
He thought back to the day your paths had been undoubtedly intertwined forever. You and Dean had known of each other for a while- hunters always did- but never exchanged more than a few cordial hellos in passing. That was until a vampire hunt in a small town drew the attention of more than just himself and Sam. When you showed up on the hunt, he couldn’t help but be enamored by you. The way you made hunting, something so dark and painful, into something so graceful, so elegant, so beautiful. 
When he was able to convince you to stick around and celebrate after finishing the hunt, Dean felt both his heart leap and his stomach sink. As he drove, he kept glancing up into his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse at you, following behind him in your own car. He wracked his brain, trying to come up with conversation topics like he was rubbing together stones trying to create a spark. He was so excited to have you around, yet so nervous- an accusation he defended against when Sam taunted him on the ride over to the bar. 
“I don’t get nervous, Sammy. I- I don’t know, man. There’s just something about her. Can’t put my finger on it.” 
His eyes flickered back up to the rearview mirror as he spoke, catching you singing along to whatever song you were listening to. His heart fluttered- he wanted to know you, to memorize your favorite songs, to hear his inner thoughts spoken in your voice. In the here and now, where he was trekking through the woods, he smiled at the memory and let it instill in him a surge of motivation. He picked up his pace, humming your favorite song as he went, half to keep him grounded in the moment and half to help his mind wander back to you. 
Still thinking back to that first day, he remembered getting to the bar and admittedly, letting his nerves get the best of him. He threw back shots and tipped back beers in the hopes of quelling his anxieties, suppressing the parts of him that weren’t useful and drawing out his confident, personable self. Sam had left early, as usual, leaving the two of you alone, sat at a table in the corner of a crowded bar. The surface was a graveyard littered with empty bottles and glasses, very few of which belonged to you. You had been nursing your drinks, sipping slowly as Dean downed and gulped. So when he got a little out of hand, you were there to carry him home. 
When Dean woke alone the next morning, he was sure you had been a dream- too perfect to be real life, or his real life, anyway. His head pounded as he glanced around the unfamiliar motel room, noticing the single bed and feminine belongings that clued him he wasn’t in the room he had rented with Sam. He sat up, grasping at his head, trying to piece together where exactly he was. There was no way he had gone home with you. He remembered the way he had acted the night before, and how sober you had still been. You must have dumped him with a random girl to take him off your hands. His heart sank to his stomach- if he had messed up his chances with you, he wouldn’t forgive himself. 
Before he could linger in this fear for long, he heard two separate laughs nearing the front door. When it swung open to reveal you and Sam, chatting and clutching coffees and paper bags of breakfast food, Dean let himself flop back down to the bed in relief. Wishing him a good morning, you tossed him pain relievers and a water bottle, setting a coffee and a breakfast sandwich down on his- no, your- bedside table. You briefly recounted the night before for him, noting how you had brought him back here when Sam didn’t answer his phone. You didn’t dwell on his actions, didn’t poke fun, didn’t complain or criticize. Your presence was light as a feather, your body and voice floating around the room as you tidied things up or nibbled at your breakfast. Sam shot him a knowing glance that would later be supplemented with verbal approval. I like her, Dean. Don’t mess this up. 
Back in reality, Dean had finally emerged from the woods, stepping from the dense tree cover onto a dusty road. There wasn’t much to see- no buildings or signs of civilization in any direction. The breeze picked up and whistled through his ears in the form of your voice- keep going, Dean. So on he went. 
As he walked, sometimes his image of you would flicker and fade like a ghost and his thoughts would plunge back down to Hell. There were a few moments along his path where he would pause to hinge at the hips and dry heave in a desperate attempt to purge the memories from his body alongside the dust in his throat. It made him sick, what he did in Hell. At a few points, when he got too caught up in his thoughts, he’d come to a full stop. In those moments, he didn’t care if he lived or died. His heart ached for you, but he didn’t deserve you anymore. You were the only pure goodness in the world that he had ever known, and now, he was tainted beyond repair. But then would come the breeze. This time, it smelled sweet- miraculously, as there was nothing but dirt road and baking heat to scent it. It was beckoning him, calling him home. It was washing him of his sins. You didn’t care, you never would. Always kind, always forgiving. That was his baby. Sweet as can be.  The journey ended in your arms. At times, he thought it never would. He thought he was trapped, imprisoned on a long dirt path, being taunted with the promise of you like a carrot on a stick. But he found a car, found a map, found his way home. You didn’t believe it was him at first- why would you, when a long list of monsters seemed so much more plausible? But if Dean’s first act of repentance had been his passage home, his second act was proving himself to you. That it was him, here and now, real and resting in your fingertips. All Dean knew was Hell. It was real, he had lived it. But when you reached out your arms to embrace him, Hell was just a word that dissipated into space the moment it left his lips. This must be Heaven. You must be heaven.
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endless-ineffabilities · 20 days ago
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chemical override (13)
Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader
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a/n: the elections distracted me! This should have been up ages ago 💙 Anyhow, look at our boy pout up there. Darling never stood a chance.
series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist
Darling gets closer to making her choice.
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The holiday is already shaping up to be your most memorable one yet, and it’s only halfway done. 
Between all the commotion in the press about Ewan’s film, the lively spin-the-bottle game last night, and your… boys being more brazen in their affections, it doesn’t matter that you’re still half-limping and that one gorgeous blonde girl is testing the limits of your patience—Mallorca is one for the books.
Half of your vacation crew decided to head out into town for the afternoon, allowing you to see more of the local scene. Bethany, Phia, Luke, and Elliott have ventured off to see some shops moments prior, promising to rejoin the group with loads of goodies. So you walk the cobblestone streets with Tom and Freddie on either side, the lads promising to catch you should your ankle ‘betray you and make you faceplant on the street’. 
Because, as Freddie put it, they “can’t have the show’s rising star with a blow to her money-maker,” pertaining to your lovely face. 
You were able to finally remove your fracture boot that morning, after a long-distance call to your doctor, but you still have to slightly drag your left leg as you walk.
“Mate, if you could hurry up a little, maybe we can see more of the town,” Tom remarks with a cheeky smirk. He’s had an arm looped around yours the whole time, ever on the lookout. 
“Sure, let me just use my incredible powers of self-healing. Maybe we can check one of these souvenir shops if they’ve got a bionic leg on sale,” you deadpan, fighting hard to stifle a laugh. 
The fledgling weeks of spring bring a steady warmth to Mallorca. The sunlight is bright yet tempered as it casts its glow over the cobblestone streets, illuminating the quaint storefronts and cafes that line that town square. It’s a picture-perfect afternoon, so long as you don’t turn back to Ewan and Louise who are trailing a bit behind. 
But your curiosity wins over, and you see Ewan smiling politely as Louise gestures animatedly, completely absorbed in her tale. You immediately realise your mistake, a pang of something—guilt, longing, confusion… and jealousy, because who are you fooling—tightening in your chest. You quickly turn back to Tom and Freddie, who are too busy scheming to notice your reaction.
“So, do we let Ewan suffer, or do we intervene?” Tom asks, tilting his head toward the pair.
You can only shrug. “I think he’s handling it. It’s probably better to give them some space.” The truth is, you know Ewan well enough to sense when he’s at his wit’s end, and even though he looks like he’s about to throw in the towel, you don’t want to complicate things further. 
Who are you to deny Louise some quality time with your good buddy Ewan Mitchell? He is a stand-up guy, after all, and all of you are friends here. It’s a casual day out, nothing but a good time. 
And… you do need some time to let his confession sink in. He has given the power to you, and the only thing left to do would be to choose him.
You love him, you love him, you love him. 
So the choice should be easy, but why isn’t it?
Freddie smirks. “Space, you say? You mean you’re hoping he’ll finally snap and make a break for it?”
“Maybe,” you admit with a small smile. “Can you blame him?”
The three of you linger by a cafe, chatting to your heart’s delight. You catch sight of Ewan glancing your way, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. Hey, he mouths, staring you down until Louise nudges him, and he has to shift his focus back to her. 
“Honestly, though,” Tom continues, “what’s the deal with him and Louise? He looks like he’s drowning over there.”
“Maybe she’s finally wearing him down,” you say, half-joking, but you’re aware of how often Ewan gives too much of himself sometimes, especially to someone like Louise. The boy’s just too sweet and polite to say no. 
“I give him five minutes before he either leaves or starts shouting for you,” Freddie chimes in, his eyes dancing behind his sunglasses. “It’s a safe bet.”
Before you can respond, Ewan’s voice rises above the clamour of the street. “Actually, that’s not what I meant—”
“I can’t believe you thought that!” Louise interrupts, playfully punching Ewan’s arm, her tone a mix of disbelief and enthusiasm. “But that’s what makes you so unique! You always see things differently.”
What’s unique is the expression Ewan sports as a reaction, akin to a deer about to be hit by a Jeep.
“Unique?” Ewan repeats, a note of incredulity in his voice. He shakes his head, his mouth falling open, like he’s trying to find the words. Louise leans in closer, mentioning something about how cute he looks when confused. 
Well, she’s not wrong there. You have to hand it to her—she’s persistent.
“Why are we just standing around?” Tom suddenly says. “Let’s get some drinks. We need to fuel up for the gossip you owe us.”
“I’m in,” you say a bit too quickly, desperate for a distraction. You motion toward a quaint nearby bar with a bustling atmosphere. It seems like the perfect refuge, far from the intensity of the current situation. The bartender greets you with a grin, and Tom takes charge, ordering a round of brightly-coloured cocktails that seem to match the vibe of the holiday. 
Tom gives you a sly look over his glass. “So here we are, eh?”
“Here we are,” you nod, sensing something coming round the corner. 
“My god, this cocktail is amazing!” Freddie gasps dramatically, oblivious to the look you and Tom are sharing. “I must know what’s in this… Is that gin and… and what?”
“I myself would rather know,” Tom begins, leaning forward, “about the truth behind all the drama. The are-they-or-aren’t-they of it all. My missus has also been bugging me about it. All she talks about is you and your Ewan.” 
Freddie’s grin is huge as he raises his glass. “Bloody hell, cheers to that then! I know there’s something brewing, but no one ever tells me the details. What is this, a fight to the death? May the best Targaryen win? Lucky girl you are.”
Tom snorts. “Or may the right man win. Which, to be honest, is not Matt in this scenario.”
Freddie’s jaw drops in mock horror, clutching his chest. You may take the lad out of classical theatre for a while, but you can’t take classical theatre out of the lad. “Excuse me? Matt is a national treasure, he’s mature and reliable, and he throws a fabulous party. Might I mention how highly he speaks of you?”
Tom shoots him a scornful look. “Reliable. How riveting. Look, I love the guy, but Ewan’s practically half of her soul—”
You groan. “Can we not turn this into a debate? I’m actually trying to keep things simple now.”
“Simple,” Tom repeats, one blonde eyebrow arching. “Darling, nothing about this is simple, especially not since Ewan isn’t bound to that ridiculous PR setup anymore. Are you going to pretend that it doesn't change things?”
Freddie waves a finger. “It doesn’t have to change things. Matt’s good for her. I mean, they’re actually happy, and you need someone solid, love. Someone who isn’t going to fling you around emotionally, from the very little that I’ve heard.”
Tom rolls his eyes. “Of course, you’d think that. You get all your goss from Liv and she basically adores Matt.”
Freddie clutches his glass defensively. “Well I know for a fact that Matt is fun! And steady! You don’t need fireworks all the time to make something work.”
“But fireworks are the whole point, you know?” Tom insists. “You can’t reduce a relationship to sensible compatibility and call it love.”
“Love can be practical too,” Freddie says, looking at you. “Wouldn’t it be nice to just…breathe? To not have to worry about how he’s going to handle things every other minute?”
You wince, half-convinced by Freddie’s logic, but then Tom’s voice cuts in, softer, more serious.
“Sure, she could breathe,” Tom says, “but let’s not forget who actually takes her breath away.”
It hits you, the truth you’ve been dancing around with both of them.
Freddie gives you a sidelong look. “Alright, love, confession time. Say Ewan was still bound to that PR relationship, do you really think you could have handled not being with him? Watching him essentially be with someone else?”
You swallow, glancing down at your drink. “It would have hurt, but I would have had to handle it.”
Tom keeps the interrogation going. “And now? What would you do if he does end up with someone else? Louise seems to have her claws in him.”
You let out a huff, your next words decisive. “Look, if she can take him that easily, then he’s all hers.” Because that would mean all those heartfelt phrases about being so in love with you aren’t true. 
That’s the reasonable part of you. The other, less savoury part wouldn’t hesitate to get your own claws in Louise if she swoops in to take your man, petty catfight style.
“But see! See here,” Freddie exclaims in glee, “We’re talking about Ewan and she’s already stressed. She needs a break from the drama, Tom, and Matt is like… an oasis.”
Tom rolls his eyes but doesn’t let it go. “Sure, an oasis that leaves her wishing she were somewhere else half the time.” He sighs, his voice softening. “Look, Matt’s lovely, but he’s not the one. He’s not the one who can turn your whole world upside down, and I know you two. I’ve seen you together, I’ve seen you apart, and trust me, you’re so much better together. Hell, it’s better for all of us too! I simply cannot deal with Ewan moping around again.”
You feel your cheeks warm as you consider his words. It’s almost dizzying, trying to compare the two men, as though they represent opposite sides of you, each offering something you desperately need. They’re both right, in different ways. With Matt, there’s a sense of stability that you haven’t felt before. He’s steady, he’s sweet, and he genuinely adores you despite all of the tangled strings that have bound you to Ewan. 
But with Ewan… you want him, love him, with an intensity that is almost all-consuming. It’s the kind they write songs about, the kind that drives hearts crazy. 
Freddie drops the dramatics, his voice sincere when he speaks again. “Darling, Tom’s got a point, but just… be honest with yourself. What do you really want? Because whatever you decide, it’s your heart on the line. And you know, we’re here for you, no matter who you choose.” And then, as if with the flick of a switch, he turns his flair back on. “God, you could choose me, just so you don’t have to deal with this dilemma of yours anymore!”
You let out a breathy laugh, all the tension you’re feeling dissipating. “I just might!”
Tom mirrors your laughter. “Now that’s a dangerous idea. But hey, life’s short, right? You don’t have to have it all figured out right this second.”
Freddie grins, raising a toast. “To being a beautiful mess.”
You clink your glass with theirs, watching in amusement as they both begin bickering again over who’s really the better choice. As the debate drifts over to which drink to order next, a quiet but unmistakable presence makes its way to your table. Ewan stands behind you, his hands resting on the back of your chair. 
“I’ve been looking for you guys,” he greets calmly. 
Freddie doesn’t hesitate to take a playful jab. “Ah, Ewan! All by your lonesome now? Where’s your lady?”
Ewan perches on the last empty chair on your table, catching your eyes. “My lady’s right here,” he smirks, and he says the words with such ease that your cheeks heat. Everyone would benefit from taking lessons in the Ewan Mitchell School of Charm. “Fancy a walk, darling?”
You quickly glance at Tom and Freddie, whose raised brows practically tell you that they’re going to be chattering about this as soon as you’re out of earshot. “Try not to miss me too much, boys,” you wink at them, letting Ewan help you out of your seat and whisk you away. He offers his arm to you for support, and the two of you fall into stride, allowing the buzz of Mallorca’s streets to fill the quiet between you.
“So,” he starts, “I sure hope Tom and Freddie didn’t give you any trouble.”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” you smile, your tone lowering as you decide to tease him a little. “We would have invited you over, but you seemed to have plenty of… entertainment yourself.” You playfully wag your eyebrows at him, and he makes a show of groaning and turning away.
“Don’t remind me, my darling,” he groans. “I was so close to faking an illness and making my escape.”
You chuckle at his apparent distress. “Poor Ewan. It must be so hard being adored by a beautiful girl, isn’t it? Wait, where is she again? Did you scare her off?”
“Phia came to my rescue. They went walking by the bay or something, I don’t know. And about being adored, it only matters to me if it’s by you.”
You’re about to lean into a joke and call his bluff, when he adds, “Well, you… and my mum.”
“I thought so,” you giggle, his eyes holding yours with a familiar sweetness. But then his gaze is snagged by something behind you. 
“Is it just me, or does that cat look suspiciously like Sansa?” Ewan points to the front display of a rustic souvenir shop, and you immediately see a plush black cat with curious amber eyes.
You gasp softly, your hand tightening around his bicep. “I did leave Sansa back with my neighbour in London, right?”
“Are you sure? She’s right there, darling,” he plays along, grinning. “I think I’d recognise my daughter when I see her.”
“Your daughter, huh? The most you have right now is visitation rights.”
“Wait here, baby,” he presses a kiss to your temple, leaving you leaning against the wall across the shop. He disappears inside, emerging just moments later, the little cat plushie already in his hands. His expression is tender as he passes it to you. “Here. Figured you could use a bit of home.”
You take the little black cat, heart swelling at the sweetness of his gesture. “Thank you, Ewan. She’s perfect.”
He’s all smiles, his dimples deepening as he nods in response. 
You hug plush Sansa to your chest. “Now I wish they also had whippet plushies, so I can give you a piece of home too…” 
Ewan’s gaze softens, and he shifts slightly, his gaze dropping as he gathers his thoughts. “Darling, I hope you won’t think I’m just trying to score brownie points here or something, given the current situation, but honestly…” He hesitates, but makes up his mind as his eyes meet yours. “If I wanted to feel at home, all I really need is… to be with you.”
Your breath catches, and your mind is too focused on what you’ve just heard that your hold loosens around plush Sansa, causing it to nearly stumble out of your hands. 
“Ewan,” you say softly, your voice laced with an affection you can’t quite dampen. “You don’t play fair, you know that?”
He chuckles, a little self-conscious, his hand reaching for yours. “You know me, darling, and you know how I feel about you.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles, and the touch is light, almost reverent.
“So, no Sansa needed, huh?” you tease gently, trying to keep things light even as the weight of his words lingers. 
His smile returns, a little shy, a little playful. “You got that right. But maybe we don’t have to tell Sansa about this.”
You’re about to offer a witty rejoinder, when a cheerful shout slices through the air. “Ewan!” It’s Louise, her voice loud and undeniably eager, and you find yourself dropping Ewan’s hand. 
And either you’re not in her line of sight, or she just didn’t bother calling out to you too. What a delightful girl.
“Oh,” Louise finally acknowledges you. “That’s a nice… toy you’ve got there.”
“It’s a plushie actually,” you mutter dryly, wiggling plush Sansa in the air.
Ewan snorts at your deadpan expression, and much to Louise’s obvious annoyance, he drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you snugly against him. “I got it for her. It’s almost an exact replica of her cat, isn’t it, darling?”
Your eyes widen at his purposeful cheekiness. The lad has finally had enough of another girl trying to get a bite out of him. “Well, yeah…” you stumble on your words, “It does look like her.”
Louise pouts. “What a nice, friendly gesture.”
Ewan chuckles to himself, not letting her mood dampen his spirits. “I think it’s rather romantic.”
“Hold on,” Louise responds, appraising you with a raised eyebrow. “Aren’t you dating Matty?”
“Uhhh—”
“There you kids are!” Phia materialises out of thin air, an angel in disguise.
Oh, you could just kiss the very ground she walks on.
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Everyone makes their way to the pool area the next afternoon, the group scattered all around the lush backyard of the villa.
Matt lingers outside your door, waiting for you to finish changing. He leans casually against the railing, his gaze drifting downstairs to Fabien and Elliott, who are hauling crates of beer toward the poolside. He whistles and shouts out a playful, “Save me some, lads!”
“Waiting on your woman, Romeo?” Elliott sings up at him.
Matt waves them away, spinning around to face your door. As he waits, his mind drifts back to a conversation he had with Liv the evening before. She’d seen right through him, spotting the quiet insecurities he tried to keep buried and urging him to go all in with you, to show you what he couldn’t quite put into words. And so, he decided he would; he’d pour everything into showing you just how much he cared.
He has the advantage in that he hasn’t hurt you the way Ewan has in the past, and he has absolutely no intention of doing so, not when being with you feels like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. 
To him, you are like the human equivalent of a shot of espresso, a musical laugh, a jolt of positive inspiration. He’s always felt this, but one night, many nights ago, this effect that you have on him became amplified.
And suddenly, you are all he sees.
And he wouldn’t have it any other way, especially not after you finally open the door. You don a forest green bikini that leaves little to the imagination, with a sheer white wrap tied loosely around your waist. 
Matt lets out a low whistle, walking up to you with a slow, playful swagger. You roll your eyes at him when he unapologetically draws his gaze over your bare skin, but he can’t help it.
You look so ravishing that he wants to push you back inside the room. As stunning as your bikini is, it would look even better off.
To hell with the pool.
“What do you think?” 
He has roused from whatever grey temperament he was stuck in, now that he’s had his espresso. “I'm a goner. Absolutely done for.”
“Flatterer.” You shake your head at him, taking in his broad, bare torso. “Well, you don’t look so bad yourself.” 
He smirks, his large hands kneading your waist. “I'm the luckiest man on the planet, and this is you after an accident, you say? My love, you're a vision in green.”
“You like the colour?”
“Mmm, if I didn't like you in it, I'd cause a fuss about how you're playing for the other team, my Alyna.” He swoops down and kisses the crook of your neck, the spot he is aware would tickle, eliciting a soft giggle out of you.
“I could never,” you say, swatting his arm. “They were just out of black bikinis at the shop.”
“Black... green... we both know you look the best without either of them on. I mean, we did establish that six times in one night, remem—”
“Matt!” you squeal, eyes wide and scandalised. He feels smug, because he made sure you would never forget that night. “You're such a dog. Come on, let's join the others. I can’t wait to finally dip my toes in the pool.”
He is one step ahead of you the whole time, paying special attention to your bad ankle. He knows he’s being too careful when you eye him strangely, but he doesn’t care. “I got you,” he says.
“I can walk, you know,” you huff. “I’d have been down here ten seconds ago if it wasn’t for you going all Mr. Protector.”
As you reach the final landing, Phia’s voice rings out, “Hands off my woman!”
“She’s got a point.” You tilt your head at Matt, lips pulling at the corners.
“Have I? I was just kidding,” she shakes her head, before mumbling under her breath. “I'm not Ewan.”
Matt huffs out in response, trying not to let it get to him. Phia takes your other arm, deaf to your protests. It’s silly, because they’re both aware that you can probably fend for yourself, but not if they have anything to say about it. 
Fabien, Elliott, and Harry are manning the grill out on the patio. Some of the ladies are cozying on their sun chairs. Ewan, Luke, and Freddie are smoking on a bench under a canopy. And Thom Yorke serenades the whole scene, the speakers emitting ambient music.
Matt’s always loved a good European excursion, but this one might be his favourite yet. Thanks to the girl who lets him fuss over her despite her feigned annoyance.
Your fingers dig tighter into his arm as the two of you lower into the pool. He relishes the moment and allows the ebb of the water to push him closer to his girl.
“Hold on to me.”
You roll your eyes, but wrap your arms around his shoulders anyway. “I'm fine, Matthew. My ankle’s almost healed back to normal.”
“Almost is the keyword there, my love. We can't take any chances. So... hold on to me, beautiful.” The late morning sun is a blanket comfort as you float on together, your laughter ringing out as he flaps an arm on the water and splashes your face. 
From the sidelines, Freddie lets out a loud, teasing whistle. Matt responds with a triumphant fist pump, turning to give him a cheeky grin. 
That might have been a mistake because his eyes landed on Ewan, seated comfortably to Freddie’s left, a cigarette burning low between his lips. His eyes are obscured by dark sunglasses, but he’s clearly surveying the scene unfolding in the pool with an air of nonchalance that doesn’t sit well with Matt. 
He would have expected Ewan to jump in the pool as well and make a show of laying a claim on you as he had before. But no. The younger lad just sits, and watches, the makings of a smirk pulling at his lips when Matt makes eye contact.
Since when has he been this self-assured? Perhaps you’re to credit for this renewed sense of confidence? 
Are you slipping away from him, and back into Ewan’s arms? 
Too many questions, and not even the pleasant haze of Spain can shake the anxiety out of him. 
But then, Liv strolls over, positioning herself in front of Ewan, blocking Matt’s view. She bums a cigarette from one of the guys, and as she turns, she gives Matt a subtle nod—a reminder of her advice from last night. Just show her, she’d said. Show her you’re all in.
Thank the heavens for Olivia.
Turning back to you, Matt softens, brushing a lock of hair from your face. He presses a gentle kiss to your cheek, feeling his doubts fade as you meet his gaze, eyes bright with laughter.
“Enjoying yourself there?” you ask sweetly.
“What’s not to enjoy?” he replies, his hand tracing slow, lazy circles on your back.
“I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you glare like that before.”
“I was not glaring.”
“You so were, Matthew.”
“Oh, yeah?” he murmurs, a mischievous glint sparking in his eyes. Before you can react, he dips underwater, reemerging just inches from your thigh, where he plants a quick, teasing kiss that makes you yelp.
“Wha—Oh! Matt! Get up here!”
He surfaces, grinning, his arms winding around you again as he pulls you close. Your laughter mingles, echoing across the pool as the rest of the group cheers and jeers good-naturedly.
Just as Matt’s about to pull you in for another kiss, a loud shout breaks through the calm. 
“Cannonball!” Tom’s voice echoes from the villa, and before either of you can turn around, he comes barreling out, sprinting at full speed. With a triumphant yell, he launches himself off the edge, arms and legs splayed out like a human starfish.
The massive splash sends water arcing high, soaking you, Matt, and everyone within a ten-foot radius.
“Always one to ruin the moment, Tom,” Matt jokes.
“Had to make sure you two didn’t get too cosy,” Tom shoots back, swimming closer and clapping Matt on the shoulder. 
It’s all in good fun, sure, but then Matt catches Tom shoot a quick wink at Ewan, a flash of understanding passing between them.
So that’s how it’s going to be? Game on. 
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It’s the penultimate day of the Mallorca trip and the group has rented boats to paddle out along the stunning coastline. Only 2 people are allowed per vessel and some pairs have already formed—Phia and Phoebe, Louise thankfully pulled away from Ewan by Bethany, Harry and Freddie…
And then there’s Ewan who strides over to you determinedly. Matt is a half-step behind, his expression expectant, but Ewan is quicker. “I’m with you today, darling,” he says, his tone leaving little room for question. His hand finds yours, warm and grounding.
Matt’s eyes flicker with disappointment but he’s never been one to kick up a fuss. He gives you a faint resigned shrug, then turns to Liv. “Guess that means you and I are a team then.”
Liv rolls her eyes playfully, pushing her sunglasses up and swatting his arm. “Don’t sound so thrilled. But I promise I won’t make you row the entire time.”
Matt’s smile softens as he looks at her, his earlier disappointment slipping into something more relaxed. “Fine, but I’m claiming the right to judge your rowing skills.”
“I’ll have you know I’m an excellent rower,” Liv insists, taking her spot at the front of the boat and casting a teasing glance at him. “You, on the other hand…we’ll see.”
As you and Ewan push off into the water, he throws a glance back at the others, and a spark of mischief lights his eyes. “Think they’ll survive?”
You laugh, settling across Ewan on the boat. “I think it’ll be a surprise if Tom’s boat doesn’t capsize.”
Soon enough, everyone’s boats are spaced out on the clear, serene waters, and there’s nothing but the occasional splash of oars, the birds squawking high above, and the warm glow of the horizon. Ewan rows steadily, having doggedly refused your offer to help, and every now and then, his eyes flick to you, a soft smile never leaving his lips. His gaze lingers, like he’s committing your image to memory.
As you watch the world, he watches his world.
“Feels like another reality out here, doesn’t it?” he says, his voice barely above a murmur.
You nod, watching the sunlight dance across the water. “It really does.” You pause, glancing over your shoulder to see Liv and Matt, already in animated conversation. “It’s nice to just… forget everything for a while.”
He smiles, tilting his head. “Anything specific you wanna forget?”
You smile back. “Everything, really. The pressures, the expectations… wondering what everyone thinks or wants.”
From a few metres away, Matt’s voice carries over the water, cutting through the quiet intimacy of the moment. “I’m just saying, Liv, you don’t have to prove anything. You can let me row.”
Liv laughs, her voice filled with playful defiance. “Matt, I am fully capable of handling this. Maybe it’s you who should be taking notes.”
“Oh, I’d hate to step on your expert skills,” Matt teases back, before throwing a glance your way, his gaze lingering a bit too long before he turns back to Liv, who seems blissfully unaware of his momentary distraction.
Ewan notices it too, and his grip on the oar tightens ever so slightly. But he says nothing, keeping his focus on you as he rows further along the shore.
He steers the boat around a small bend, his voice low. “They’re good together, don’t you think?”
You turn, following his gaze. It’s a simple, easy dynamic between them, one you know you’ve seen before, and for a moment, a pang of something unnameable twists in your chest.
“Yeah,” you murmur, a touch distracted.
Ewan catches your gaze, his eyes searching yours. “You seem… surprised. Or maybe… jealous?”
You laugh it off, shaking your head. “Not at all. It’s just—”
But before you can finish, a sudden splash interrupts you. Harry’s boat has tipped over, both he and Freddie flailing in the water, their laughter filling the air as they try to right themselves.
Bethany, a few feet away, doubles over, her laughter carrying over the waves. “Oh my god, Freddie, I told you to sit still!”
Harry, sputtering as he surfaces, grins. “Guess I got too excited.”
“So I was wrong,” you turn to Ewan, smirking. “It’s not Tom who capsized.”
Ewan just laughs, then adds slyly, “Here I was wishing it would have been Matt.”
After the boats return to shore, you’re all tired and exhilarated, the sun higher in the sky as you make your way up the beach. But the peace is short-lived. Fans, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, begin to gather along the shore, their voices excited, cameras ready as they shout greetings and ask for photos. The relaxed energy shifts as each of you is drawn into the swirl of attention, questions flying as you try to keep up.
A fan steps in close, slightly shaking in her nerves. “You… and Ewan?” she asks, the question open-ended but its meaning clear.
You chuckle awkwardly, caught off guard, opting to just wrap an arm around her shoulders as she takes a selfie with you. 
But the fan is relentless, her attention shifting to Matt, who’s standing off to the side with Liv, his gaze directed toward you even as he signs another fan’s poster. “What about him?” she says, grinning.
Ewan’s arm slips around your waist protectively, pulling you closer. “She’s with me today,” he says confidently, not minding the possibility of this fan taking to the internet after this encounter, with proof of her ship actually being together.
Ewan doesn’t care; he has no reason to hide how much he wants you. Not anymore. If his fans want a crumb, as he often reads online about him, then he’s going to give them a whole feast. 
With you as the main course in the Ewan banquet.
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As the day comes to a close, you find yourself resting all alone in your room, stealing the group introvert mantle right under Ewan’s nose. Everything that has happened during this vacation plays in your mind like a montage, and somehow, it all feels like it’s building up to a grand finale.
But before you can lose yourself completely in your thoughts, there’s a soft knock at your door.
You groan to yourself as you walk over, but your protest dies as you find Ewan standing there, holding something behind his back.
“Hey, you,” he greets you with a smirk that’s more mischievous than usual. “Got a minute?”
Your heart skips a beat — it’s always been that way with him, that instant flutter, even now after everything. “Sure. What’s up?” 
“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he says, his grin widening at your raised brow. He steps into your room, pulling whatever he’s hiding behind his back.
When he finally reveals it, you blink, eyes widening. “You... bought these?” You can’t help but laugh.
Two brightly coloured superhero masks — one Spider-Man, the other Spider-Gwen.
“Yep, I saw a costume shop that had Carnaval masks… and these too, apparently,” Ewan says, looking pleased with himself. “I thought it would be fun. We’re getting away from the villa tonight. I figured we could use these. You know, masks for our incognito date night.”
It had taken one quick scroll on the internet for your group to discover that the paparazzi trailed everyone around town today, and Elliott even annoyingly revealed that he might have seen one or two of them lingering outside the villa’s premises. 
Vultures.
You laugh again, shaking your head. “Wait, you’re serious? We’re wearing these to our… date? Wait, why are we going on a date?”
He shrugs with a playful glint in his eye. “Why not?”
You hesitate for a second. It’s such a ridiculous idea, but in the best possible way. He’s always had a way of pulling you out of your own head, making you feel like there’s no right or wrong way to just live in the moment. 
Or maybe he could propose anything—anything at all—and you’d be beside yourself if you refused. It’s how you and him ended up having copious amounts of…. casual lovemaking, months after breaking up.
“Okay,” you finally say, “but only if you promise not to laugh when I look completely ridiculous in it.”
“Never,” he says with mock solemnity, holding out the Spider-Gwen mask for you. “You’ll look amazing. Trust me.”
As you slink past the gates, the masks make you feel more than a little silly, but also oddly liberated. It’s like you’re in on another secret with him, something just for the two of you.
You look at him, smiling as you adjust the mask. “This is insane,” you say, your voice muffled behind the fabric.
Ewan smiles back, clearly pleased with himself. “I know. And it’s perfect.”
“Are you sure this isn’t just you practicing for an audition for yet another Spiderman reboot?”
He only playfully shoots air webs at you, his adorable pew-pew noises audible under his mask.
You chuckle softly, your heart warming at the sight of him. “So, what now? You’re just going to walk me through the streets like this?”
“Of course. You ready to go on the best secret date of your life?”
You laugh, feeling lighter than you have in days. “Lead the way, Spiderman.”
The walk isn’t long, just enough to enjoy the quiet of the night and the unexpected adventure of it all. When you finally arrive at the restaurant, you stop dead in your tracks, blinking up at the building in front of you. It’s perched on the edge of a cliff, offering a breathtaking view of the bay below. The warm glow of the restaurant spills out onto the street, and you’re immediately struck by how beautiful its facade is.
You look at Ewan, your surprise written all over your face. “This... this place looks amazing. How did you find it?”
“I have my ways,” he says, grinning. “Come on.”
He leads you up the stairs, and you both remove your masks as you enter, giggling to each other. You’re met with a homey, rustic atmosphere. There’s a dim light from lamps perched on the posts, the soft murmur of conversations, and the smell of fresh food in the air. It’s everything you didn’t realise you needed tonight—calm, peaceful, and more than a little romantic.
“I booked a private table for us,” Ewan says softly, glancing around for the waiter. 
The two of you are escorted to a table on the balcony, overlooking the bay. The moon reflects on the water, casting a silver glimmer over the scene. For a moment, you just sit there, both of you silent, taking it all in.
“Ewan, this is incredible,” you say, your voice quiet but full of admiration. “I don’t even know what to say.”
Ewan smiles, reaching across the table to take your hand. “You don’t have to say anything. And I promise this isn’t some ploy to get you to speed up your decision-making. I just… I just wanted you to have a night where you could forget about everything else.”
He leans back slightly, his eyes studying you with that gentle familiarity, like he’s waiting for you to say something more, but he doesn’t rush you.
You glance down at the simple sundress you’ve been wearing all day. You didn’t have time to change when Ewan mentioned the surprise evening out — there was no real thought given to a perfect outfit. And yet, as you sit here now, across from him in the warm candlelight, you don’t feel the usual self-consciousness you might’ve once felt. 
You feel more beautiful than you ever have before, because he sees you as the most beautiful person in the room. In any room.
“I don’t know how you do it,” you say, looking at him. “How you make everything feel so…” You trail off, unable to find anything adequate. 
His lips curl into a knowing, half-smile. “I feel the same about you.”
And you might not know it yet, but this night is when you choose him. 
Under the unprecedented rainfall, later on, you will realise that you never truly had to choose.
It’s always been Ewan, all along. 
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Some notes in the margins...
I have no notes. The red mirage is still at play as I type this. Please distract me in the comments 🥲
The next chapter wraps up this trip :) We also might have a bit of Liv's POV...
Then it's back to LA or London, depending on who darling opts to go with 💛
341 notes · View notes
meowzfordayz · 1 year ago
Text
hashiras' first "I love you"
Author’s Note: a lil fluff for the sake of a lil fluff. 🤗 Kyojuro’s was inspired by @somelattes' should've known better... which you should totally read btw (read it and weep 😭💀).
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hashiras’ first “I love you”
Hashira x Reader
Word Count: ~1,800
CW:  none
~faqs~
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“I love you,” Gyomei whispers, confident that you’re asleep, “I love you and your steady breaths, the sensation of your fingers tugging on my happi, how I know your mood by listening to your footsteps…”
You grunt, rolling over at his confession, taking the blankets with you. He smiles.
“I love you,” as he curves his warm body around yours, “Thank you,” as he presses a kiss to the back of your head, “Thank you so much.”
You’re asleep, truly, but that doesn’t stop the blossom of red in your dreams, heartbeat quickening to keep up with Gyomei’s own longing, words on the tip of your tongue — if only you slept talked.
“And when you wake,” he murmurs, “I’ll be happy to tell you again.”
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“I love you,” Obanai sighs, cheeks red and sour as he glares at his feet, “Alright?”
“Alright,” you quip, mimicking his actions with quiet chuckle.
It takes him a long moment to notice your teasing, signature scowl wrinkling his face when he finally realizes you’re copying his embarrassed disposition.
“Well don’t mock me and my love for you!” he hisses, arms crossing tightly, taking a decisive step back from your amused expression, “I’m being vulnerable, damn it!”
“I know, I know,” your hands raise in apologetic defense, mouth still quirked with endearment, “You’re just so…”
“So what?” he huffs.
“So grumpy when you’re in love!” you laugh loudly now, tugging at his wrists, adoration swelling in your chest when he doesn’t flinch or pull away from you, “And in case it wasn’t obvious, I love you too.”
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“I love you!” Mitsuri exclaims, sleepy ascent of the sun interrupted by her pink cheeks and wide stare, “That’s why I always ask if we can watch the sunrise together! Because I figured, some day, I would have the courage to tell you! I love you!”
You nod slowly, early morning drowsiness muddling your comprehension, a glowing smile gradually replacing the tiredness of your face as her feelings sink through your skin.
“You love me?” you repeat softly.
“Is that so difficult to believe?” her head tilts, concern filling her gaze, “Of course I love you!”
A quiet exhale of laughter slips from your mouth, arms gentle and tender as you reach for her warmth, a satisfied hum vibrating against her earlobe when she accepts your embrace.
“It’s difficult to believe,” you admit, still in shock, body doing its best to memorize the curve and weight of her scent melting into you, “But I’d be the world’s biggest idiot to turn from your love.”
“So you love me too?” she grins, the faintest trace of fear catching on the end of her question.
“I do. I love you, Kanroji Mitsuri, I love you too.”
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“I love you,” Shinobu admits, reluctance in her fingers as they grasp your elbow, gently moving your limb, “It’s a terrible feeling, to love someone, but I do.”
“Well I feel loved,” you remark wryly, eyebrow raising at her airy tone, wincing as she tests your range of motion, “Are you sure you aren’t pranking me? Going to laugh at me in five seconds, give or take?”
Sighing quietly, she shakes her head once, “I deserve that,” humming with dissatisfaction.
“What exactly is the point in telling me you love me if it’s such a burden to you?” you ask pointedly, “And how am I doing?”
“You’re healing slowly,” Shinobu reports, frowning when your jaw clenches, “But still healing. You’ll be alright.”
“And you? Will you be alright?”
“If you’re asking whether I’ll survive being in love with you,” she chuckles lowly, “Then of course. I’ll survive.”
“But will you be alright?” you repeat.
She lets your arm fall, gaze steady as she watches your expression twinge, “Do you love me?”
“Is that even appropriate?” you snort, “I’m your patient.”
“Every slayer is my patient. Who else am I supposed to love?”
“I do love you,” you say softly, pretenses dissipating as fatigue snakes up your spine, body haunching, “I’m sorry.”
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“I love you,” Kyojuro declares, watching loud tears drip down your cheeks, “How could I not return?”
“Well dying would certainly make returning difficult,” you sniffle, not quite processing his confession, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“Ah, but I’ve been keeping this promise for ages!” he smiles wider, sadness softening the corners of his mouth, “I promise I love you.”
“Ages?” your eyes widen, “You-!”
“It’s hard to steal a moment for ourselves,” Kyojuro shrugs apologetically, “But I swear I wake up thinking about you.”
“And before you fall asleep?” you dare to ask, breath held in your shocked chest.
“I hear the color of your laughter,” he blushes, discomfort pricking at his fingertips, “How do you feel?”
“How do I feel?” you scoff now, amusement brightening your tone as you point a wry finger at his nose, “If you’ve loved me for ages, then I’ve loved you for forever!”
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“I love you,” Sanemi murmurs, catching your wrist as you turn to leave, cutting through your wall of anger with such a simple, delicate movement — such a painful, quiet admission.
“What does that even mean?” you snap, shuddering as his confession digs into your shoulder blades, “You hate everything.”
“I don’t,” he frowns slightly, clinging onto your fingers as he clings onto the hope that Maybe, maybe they won’t shake me off.
“Prove it,” you goad darkly, skin burning from his touch, unwilling to detach yourself even as you scowl in disbelief, “What else do you love?”
“I love the sunrise,” he begins carefully, tone level and gentle, unbearingly tender, “I love getting to see you smile,” smirking to himself, “As well as beating you up,” fixing a warm, welcoming grin on your astonished, unblinking eyes, “I love hearing you judge me, challenge me, worm your way into me,” shrugging as he traces your knuckles with the roughness of his thumb, “I love the scent of ginger, and the crackle of autumn, the fullness of a rainstorm, and how entranced you look.”
His intention to tease you utterly fails as his voice softens to an unknowing simmer, the intimacy of his grasp suddenly registering as you yank your hand to your chest.
“You’re forgetting something,” you whisper, stuck in the sinking of his stare.
“Of course,” Sanemi laughs lightly, stepping in, listening to your breaths — listening to how you don’t step away, “I love you.”
“And if I can’t say it back?” you venture.
He snorts, flicking your forehead with an unceremonious thwack, “That’s fine. My love has no deadline, no time limit, no strings. It just is.”
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“I love you.”
Your eyebrows furrow, lips parting as you stare dumbfounded at Muichiro.
“Did you hear me?” his head tilts, “I said, I love you.”
“I heard you!” you hurriedly assure him, your fingers locking then unlocking then locking together, “You caught me off guard, is all.”
He smiles at that, that same warm smile that only you’ve seen — that same warm smile you’ve taken for granted, as though you didn’t know yourself to be the reason behind his rapid heartbeat and sweaty palms.
“So, what do you think?”
He hopes you don’t notice how his left pinky trembles, how his toes keep curling and uncurling, how terribly flustered his face is.
“As in, how do I feel?” you squeak.
“No. I mean. Yes, but also, what do you think about me loving you?”
“I think it’s great!” you blurt, breaths shortening as you reach instinctively for his hand, “I just really wasn’t expecting it!”
He almost asks Are you sure? searing regret beginning to root him into the ground (to swallow him whole, actually), when you make contact, grip clammy yet decisive.
“I… wasn’t sure if you loved anyone like that,” you explain gently, thoughts finally gathered, “If I could hold your attention in such a way… but I’m happy to know that I can. That I do.”
“So my love is a good thing?” he murmurs shyly.
You nod, returning the warmth in his timid smile as you dart in to peck his cheek, “Absolutely.”
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“I love you,” Giyuu says simply, wind billowing though the sleeves of his haori as he rests a light palm on your shoulder, “Please remember that.”
How could I forget? you try to whisper, response caught in your throat as you close the distance between his nervous pulse and your shocked heartbeat, finally accepting the coolness of his embrace.
“Promise me?” his voice roughens, chin digging into the back of your neck, “I can’t bear to lose you.”
I can’t bear to be lost by you.
“I promise,” you manage to rasp, muscles relaxing into the awkwardness of his touch, “And Giyuu?”
He freezes at the lilt in your tone, eyes squeezing shut, fear blossoming in his stomach, yet unable to release you.
“I have always loved you.”
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“I love you!” Tengen grins, pride expanding his chest as lightness fills his head, “I love you dearly and devotedly.”
“You love everyone,” you laugh casually, waving off his confession with a bright smile, your hair glistening in the afternoon sunshine, “I love you too, Uzui-san.”
“No, no, no,” his grin falters, jaw twitching, arms crossing, “I love you.”
“Okaaay,” you raise a curious eyebrow, stepsiding an overgrown shrub, still smiling, “You love Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma too.”
“Too,” he emphasizes exasperatedly, “As in, I love you. I love you too. I love you as well. I love only you.”
You huff, “You’re so complicated,” gesturing out at the path in front of you, “Unlike this trail, you confuse me immensely.”
“How do you feel about my wives?” he promptly switches tactics, unsure how to further convey his intent, odd nervousness swelling in his fingertips Must be the heat.
You blush faintly, voice quiet as you respond, “I enjoy their company.”
“And they enjoy your company!” he exclaims, nearly jumping with frustration.
“What exactly are you trying to tell me?”
“That I love you.”
You almost groan, believing the conversation to have returned to square one, when your eyes widen comically, pace halting completely as you stare accusingly—excitedly—at his expectant expression.
“You want to marry me.”
He nods immediately, “Well, eventually, yes.”
“You love me,” you whisper, pointing at yourself.
Looking quite pleased, and significantly less stressed now, Tengen nods again, “Indeed.”
“Why didn’t you just say that?!” you shriek indignantly, smacking his bicep, wincing as you accidentally hit his armband. 
“I did,” he shrieks back, poking at you with unavoidable speed, “I told you no fewer than seven times!!!!!”
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satoruhour · 1 year ago
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a/n: i need college / uni bf!geto rn bc my hands hurt :( newly established relationship <3 0.9k, rich kid!suguru i guess? / tagging @crysugu @na-t0 @papersirens @hydrovillette
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“didn’t i tell you not to go so hard on your essay?” geto gives you a small smile, countered by your cute pout in the dark room of your dorm. the way he lectures is gentle, having no bite to it because how would he ever dare to sink his teeth into something as sweet as you? he knows if he does, however, he just might become addicted to you. it’s clear already how the teeth is breaking skin and drawing blood just by the items in the room:
both your faces are illuminated by the fairy lights you begged suguru to buy — he gives in and buys it for you as always. it’s shown in the starbucks mug that cost ¥3300, the sanrio themed bed sheets that you’re now sitting on, the convenience store onigiris for you to store in your fridge.
“was rushin’ it before 2359, su, you know that…” you mumble more to yourself than your boyfriend, who’s staring at you as your eyes droop sheepishly to your connected hands. it’s not wrong that you could’ve started writing this essay a little earlier, cited your sources a little earlier, but you still managed to do it; at the expense of your hands. they ached and throbbed from the position they were in for the past few hours — at least you still had managed to submit it with two minutes to spare.
“but not to the point where your hands turn sore, my darling.” geto brings your hands to his lips to kiss, like the little gesture of love could magically heal you. it feels like it does. the tenderness of his touch, the roughness of his finger pads against your smoother skin, the thoughtfulness itself. you grunt a little in pain when suguru starts to massage the palm, digging his thumb in and dragging it up and down. he squeezes your hands, giving each finger its attention, wiggling the hands to loosen your muscles.
“you know,” you hum in response and look up from your flustered state to find him already staring at you, “my mom used to do this for me.”
“yeah?” you whisper, heart pounding in your ears. two and a half months in and geto suguru was already treating you like treasure, not at all what they say he is: conceited of his intelligence, rude, a know-it-all rich kid. sure, he was smart, he was rich, but he made it clear he had no interest in the industrial, business side of the family. geto was generally open about his past, his parents leaving the toxic world and giving their son an upbringing filled with unconditional love and openness. but people usually liked the juicier gossip; none of them had bothered to know geto for who he was.
“yeah.” geto brings you in via your hands, lips colliding clumsily against yours from the force and you both laugh softly, “said its been passed down in her family for the longest time.”
“it’s helping… a little,” you giggle, eyes memorising his eyes shone under fluorescent.
“is it now?” the warmth of his hand leave yours for a moment to tilt your head up, catching your lips properly this time as he moves slow. suguru takes his time with you, moving against you as his other hand still continues to massage. that was one thing he was good at too, multitasking; he plays with your hand, travelling over your fingers and stroking over each section and its nail bed and then pulling away teasingly while he continues to hypnotise you into a dance. you hear him hum into the kiss, exhaling through his nose as he now interlocks both hands.
“focus on the squeezes, baby,” geto suguru drives you insane, in that little silky voice of his and the slight lilt in his voice. you let him lead you, feeling the soft pressure of his hand as he brings them above your heads and leans forward. you make a small surprised sound as he brings you right down to lay flat on the bed, hovering over you whilst still giving those periodic squeezes, entirely at his mercy as his lips never stop. they come off to breathe for some air and you’re the same, flushed cheeks and swollen lips and geto lets out a shaky breath.
it’s only then when he lets go, caught in your trance. easily, he tugs you into his lap as he lays down, not sure if he could uphold his obsession if he was on top.
“is this really part of the massage process?” you ask, legs naturally going to either side of his hips as you lay on his chest. you smile to yourself when you realise how fast his heart’s beating. off to the side, geto finds your hand again: him with his left and you with your right and you tangle into each other with the choreography of a million sprouts in the wind. finger into finger and palm against palm.
“hmm…” geto feigns confusion, prompting you to turn your head towards him. you grin seeing his red cheeks, “nah, just deviating a little from the family recipe… is it working?”
“it was earlier but now? oh, no, not really.” geto’s eyes flutter close when you move forward just a bit to peck his lips. you twine your fingers with his; you’re getting good at this multitasking thing. “but wherever you are, i will always feel much better than i was.”
“good.” suguru mumbles with a lovesick smile, and he gives your connected hands a squeeze and a grin threatens to spread across his face when you squeeze back just as hard, “that’s… really good.”
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