#*thinks about how simon is played by an actual man of color who is open about the pressures felt with immigrating to Europe���️ so young*

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

wilmon the mlm interclass interracial ship of my dreams tbh 💜💜

[zot3-flopped]

The fascinating emptiness of one Mr. Louis Tomlinson

Simone De Aurevoir

Feb 20, 2024

Four months ago I went to a concert. The exact city, venue and date doesn’t matter, and you will understand why it doesn’t matter in just a moment. The concert in question was given by Louis Tomlinson, a former member of One Direction, and what I experienced that night was so odd, so puzzling, so fascinating, that I couldn’t help but write it down. Allow me to explain.

The concert took place on a Tuesday evening. It is part of his Faith in the Future tour, and I was accompanying a close friend who is a huge “Louie”, as his fans are called. (Despite the difference in spelling, the man’s name and his fandom are actually pronounced the same way.) I joined her mostly out of solidarity and a little bit out of morbid curiosity. She had previously given me only small glimpses into the Louis Tomlinson fandom, and as a pop culture enthusiast, naturally I was intrigued by this window into an obscure cultural bubble. I remember thinking, “It might be interesting to see what she’s so obsessed with”.

Her first act of initiation had been to take me to see All of Those Voices, the documentary movie about Louis Tomlinson‘s life after One Direction, which depicted his chain smoking Northern English charm, his image of the humble underdog, and the unexpected upwards trajectory of his career over the last five years. It had also instilled in me a vague sense of fear of the fandom. Then again, the intensity of the Gospel is always off putting to atheists, so I thought nothing more of it.

Knowing that football/soccer games dictate which colors to wear and which to avoid, I had half-jokingly asked my friend about taboo colors the day before, not really expecting an answer. Immediately, she texts back — “Don’t wear green, and avoid any obvious combinations of blue and green.” If you’re feeling a sense of foreboding right now, that’s the right instinct.

On the night of the concert, we arrive at the 15,000 seat arena in the brisk evening air. To my surprise, the concrete vestibule is almost empty, save for the small crowd clustering around a merch stand. “They’re all already inside”, my friend explains confidently. We enter through the main entrance into the stuffy warmth of the lobby, through security, past another overcrowded merch stand, and through the soundproofed swinging doors into the main concert hall.

I suddenly feel very small as I enter this gigantic darkened arena space, where the air is even warmer, and buzzing with excitement. Indeed, everybody else is already here. The show won’t actually start for an hour, but the arena is already fully packed. We squeeze past a long row of excited faces to get to our seats, where the local chapter of Louis’s fan club has deposited some items for audience interaction: a blank white sheet of paper and a little snippet of red transparent tracing paper, both with instructions for how and when to hold them up.

While we’re settling in, the second of the two opening bands is already playing — a forgettable mess of clichés from Northern England. “As a white indie boy, Louis tours exclusively with other white indie boys”, my friend remarks with cheeky self awareness. While the clichés are playing, we look around the sold out arena. The two of us are only a little bit younger than Louis himself, which makes us some of the oldest people in the venue (not counting the occasional parental custodians who accompany their teen children).



Fans camping out for a spot in the first row for Louis’s show in Glasgow, 2022. Photograph by Steve Welsh

To me, it looks like we’re just two old pieces of driftwood in a sea of teeth in braces, puffy cheeks and pigtail buns, but my friend explains to me what I’m really seeing. “See that guy over there? That shirt is a Doncaster Jersey with Louis’s team number.” Or: “This girl in front of us? That’s a handmade replica of a t-shirt Louis wore on tour in 2016.” Already, I am amazed at the depth of not just her knowledge, but everybody’s knowledge of the history of this Louis Tomlinson. And then, to my delight, we actually see the forbidden combo: a girl wearing two glow-in-the-dark bracelets next to each other; one blue, one green.

It’s at this point that I finally get an explanation of the meaning behind the colors: Back when the band was still active, all five members of One Direction had a color assigned to them, based on their mic colors at live shows. Harry Styles was green, Zayn Malik was yellow, Liam Payne was red, Louis Tomlinson was blue, and Niall Horan was white. Therefore, wearing blue would symbolize fandom of Louis; wearing, say, red would be an indicator of favoring Liam, and green would symbolize fandom of Harry Styles. And wearing blue and green together would… well, we’ll get to that in a moment.

Since this is Louis’s concert, you might think that the audience would be a sea of exclusively blue clothing, but there is actually a notable amount of rainbow accessories — capes, earrings, fans, etc. — that make for an overall colorful impression.

I wonder out loud how it is possible that somebody who was big with teenagers in the early 2010s has so many teenage fans in 2023. After all, when I was a teenager myself in the late 2000s, it would have seemed unspeakably ridiculous if I had stanned, let’s say, the Spice Girls. (I’m not even sure I was aware of the Spice Girls back then.)

My friend, ever helpful, explains to me that most younger fans came across the fandom in 2020, facilitated by YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, and pandemic-induced boredom.

Tumblr especially is infamous for its ability to grow and nurture expansive fandoms of pop culture items for years on end, even if the source material is long past its relevance peak (see Supernatural), its quality peak (see Doctor Who) or both (see Sherlock).

The momentum of Louis’ fandom on social media even led to the unusual phenomenon of venues getting bigger every time his concerts were rescheduled due to the pandemic. And this is when it starts to dawn on me. I am not attending a concert; I am witnessing a Tumblr dashboard come to life.

I’m just about to share this thought with my friend when the background music cuts off mid-song, the lights drop, and the sudden darkness comes with a piercing collective shriek that makes the earplugs flutter in my ear canal.

The band comes in first, taking their places. After barely a beat of pause, Louis walks onstage, with messy hair, wearing a tank top and designer sweatpants, walking at a matter-of-fact pace. I assume the shrieking got even louder, but at this noise level it was hard to tell.

Louis takes his place behind the mic stand in the middle and immediately launches into the first song, The Greatest — a stadium anthem basically written explicitly for this spot on the setlist. Not wasting any time on greetings or announcements, he immediately follows up with the other big hit, Kill My Mind. From there, directly onto Bigger Than Me, another stadium-ready rock pop number.

I’m alarmed as I suddenly realize that the only catchy, recognizable songs have come and gone, ushering in the phase of uninterrupted filler songs. (I had dutifully listened to the tour setlist multiple times in preparation for the concert, but my brain just wouldn’t latch on to anything beyond the first three songs.)

At this point, I’m worried this will be a repeat of that time when I went to see P!nk live in concert and noticed too late that I knew none of her songs from after 2005. However, P!nk is a charismatic person and a great live singer who was doing somersaults on a bungee rope as 10 dancers were trampolining and performing aerial acrobatics around her.

Louis is not on a bungee rope. There are no dancers, there is no set piece, there is no stage show, no performance, no outfit changes, no real interaction with the band, and no traditional crowd work. He simply stands behind the mic, singing his songs, the screens above him showing live closeups of his face in black and white, and I’m not sure he smiles even once. For a teen heartthrob, he’s… not very throbby.

(His outfit, by the way, will already have been documented and analyzed by a dedicated Instagram account, @fashionlouist, the owners of which can somehow identify the exact brand and name of each piece he’s wearing within the first 20 minutes of every show. His sweatpants today cost £380.)



Louis on the same tour, earlier in the year. Photograph by Amber Patrick

After the fourth song, Louis finally addresses the audience. “(City), make some noise!” He thanks the two opening acts, and points out that this is one of the loudest crowds he has ever had. That’s it. I’m amused at how his lines are almost comically generic, but my friend explains what I’m not getting: “He always thanks the band, and he always says this wouldn’t be possible without the fans. And he wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it. And he only says something about the venue when it’s a really special one.”

She doesn’t see his boilerplate statements as him being uninterested or uninteresting. She sees consistency and authenticity, and judging by the beaming smiles all around me, so does everybody else.

Similarly, his outfit may look to me like he tried to make the least amount of effort, but the fandom like that he is “finally getting more comfortable wearing what he wants”.

In case you’re wondering, Louis’s appeal doesn’t lie in his singing skills either — his pitch gets shaky when the melody dips below the falsetto range, but he is clearly making a great effort in this department. Live singing is hard, and for the most part he’s doing a good job at it.

The interchangeable songs go on for a while, and still the elated fans around me seem to know every syllable. It is very warm, very loud, and for an outsider like me, very boring.

I go outside multiple times to have water, to get another beer, to go to the bathroom. I can’t help but notice that I am the only one in my row leaving her seat during the show. Everybody smiles politely as they let me squeeze past, but every time I do it I’m keenly aware of how inappropriate my behavior is. No one else seems to need or want a break.

In the ghostly emptiness outside I overhear a member of the bar staff complaining about the awful evening. At first I don’t understand what they could possibly find offensive about this quintessentially inoffensive music, but it later dawns on me that they were probably referring to the complete lack of beer and concessions sales. Most attendees are either too young to drink legally or too young to want to spend 6,50€ on a beer. Most of them seem to be sharing one cup of water, and no one is leaving during the concert to go to the bar for a refill.

Down the hall, I hear yelling and commotion which turns out to be paramedics on their way outside, transporting a passed-out teenage fan on a stretcher, accompanied by their panicked friend.

When I return to my seat, everybody around me is still scream-singing along to every single word of every single song, including my friend. They are having a great time. It looks like I missed out on “She Is Beauty We Are World Class“, which, as I had learned earlier that evening, is the song his fans collectively take as an opportunity to show off their rainbow flags and create a queer-accepting atmosphere at the show. Though Louis is, by all accounts, a cishet man, the One Direction fandom has a very, let’s say, specific relationship to queerness and queer symbols. More on that in just a moment.

My ears perk up for a bit when Louis gets to Back to You, a label-mandated collab with Digital Farm Animals and Bebe Rexha from 2017. He plays an altered version of the song with more of a rock sound, but it still stands out to me simply for using different chord progressions than all his other songs.

Funnily enough, in the lyrics of another song (We Made It), he directly addresses this qualm of mine: “Singing something poppy on the same four chords, used to worry about it but I don‘t no more“. To his credit, he really doesn’t pretend to be more than he is — that’s all other people‘s doing. Let me explain.

Not counting parents or outsiders like myself, there are three groups of people in this room: former fans of One Direction, Underdog Cheerleaders, and Larry Stylinson conspiracy theorists.

The first group is easy to explain and even easier to relate to: they were big fans of One Direction (or “1D”), and since that band doesn’t exist anymore, the closest thing to it are the concerts by its former members, all of whom have embarked on solo careers. These fans are the ones who visibly come to life during the two 1D songs that Louis plays this evening; and the ones waving the huge rainbow flag with all five 1D members printed on it. (Again, more on that in a second.)

The second group, whom I call the Underdog Cheerleaders, are the group that my friend belongs to. These are the people who are convinced that there was a grand plan by 1D’s management to make Harry Styles the breakout star of the group, and to suppress the careers of all other members for that reason.

But because they, the true fans, appreciate Louis for exactly what he is, they will do anything they can to support this underdog millionaire, whether by making his songs chart by listening at the same time, buying tickets to his livestream performance during Covid, or writing to the BBC to beg them to stop blacklisting his music. (Whether that was ever actually the case is unconfirmed.)

For them, the appeal lies not in his singing, his performance, or songwriting skills. The qualities that are always repeated when people praise Louis Tomlinson are that he is humble and down to earth; a simple lad from a working class family in northern England.

This is pointed out in every single write up about this man. His humanity is further compounded by the untimely deaths of his mother and sister within a few years of each other while he was ascending to solo fame. For the Underdog Cheerleaders, it’s not about music so much as it is about identifying with, celebrating and uplifting the least memorable person in a lineup of five.

And the third group… they are the ones who would purposely pair blue with green. These are the so-called Larries, the people who ship Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson as a couple.

You can find a great deep dive on the topic here, but the long and short of it is this: While there were ships for almost all possible combinations between the five members of One Direction (resulting in droll ship names such as Nouis or Ziall), the Larry ship was by far the most popular.

The ideological overlap between the Underdog Cheerleaders and the Larries is not zero, but while the cheerleaders just want to see the nice guy win, the Larries also want the nice guy (and Harry Styles) to come out as gay.

They are willing to accept any explanation, however flawed or implausible, for why Louis and Harry have yet to come out as a couple even though they have definitely secretly been together for a decade now and their respective heterosexual partners are absolutely paid actors and they even totally have a secret baby together.

The lack of evidence, the repeated denials by the two men in question and their polite but increasingly desperate requests to stop the madness have only fueled the fire.

The one thing that all three groups share is that for all of them, Louis’s public perception is forever tied up with the existence of Harry Styles. Whether he wants to or not, Louis is forever defined against his more popular former band mate, whether as his colleague, competitor, villain, or lover.

It’s about an hour and a half into the show as I allow myself a peek at the set list on my phone. We’re finally nearing the end. Watching the unsmiling face of Louis Tomlinson, I’m wondering — is he enjoying himself? Who even is this person?



By seeing this image, you have experienced the complete stage show of the “Faith in the Future” tour. Photograph by Steve Jennings

The encore consists of three songs. When Louis gets to the last one, he descends into the pit. Still singing, he walks up to the first row who have been camping outside since the day before in order to get this spot. He touches a few of the outstretched hands, walks along the front row to the left, bends into the crowd for a few seconds, and when he reappears he no longer has his tank top on. His fans have ripped it off his body. He retreats back onto the stage, says a few polite words of thanks, and disappears.

And then, the magic is over as quickly as it began. The lights turn on, background music plays, and people immediately start filing out in an orderly manner. Some are clasping the red confetti bands that rained over the audience during the last song, and their faces look like they will treasure this souvenir forever. In the chilly darkness outside, a well-informed busker with a guitar sings songs by Louis and 1D, and a small crowd gathers around him to sing along while waiting for the shuttle bus back to the city.

At the end of the night, I’m left wondering what all these thousands of young fans really care about. Even though everybody knows all the music by heart, it doesn’t really seem to be about the music. And even though there’s a throng of fans crowded around the stage exit for a chance to wave at the tour bus with Louis in it, I don’t know whether this really has anything to do with him personally.

Because at its innermost core, this fandom is about itself. Not in the sense of its specific members — I didn’t see many fans interacting and making new friends — but rather, the fandom as an abstract entity.

It’s the joy of belonging to an in-group; of sending and receiving signals that only the initiated will understand. The firm belief that you’re backing the right horse, that you’re part of something “Bigger Than Me”, that there is a purpose to your music listening.

Who is Louis Tomlinson? I still have no idea, and neither does it really matter. Nobody else cares. They will make Louis Tomlinson into whatever they need him to be.

[gothushi]

gosh your fic (which i LOVED btw) has my mind whirling with all the possibilities of pegging the other boys. luke and simon are a given, obviously, that’s just another tuesday for them, in fact they both wear signs that say “please peg me!!” at all times, but imagine hook or charlie or nikolai? i think all three of them would try to act so tough and unbothered, but the second the action starts suddenly you should’ve soundproofed the walls. ernst? oh my i don’t think he’d even know what to do with himself, he’d be so overwhelmed and nervous, but once you actually start his brain would turn to absolute mush; his tongue rolling out of his mouth with his eyes rolled back. father anthony? oh my lord (harhar)….talk about ruining that man for forever. i genuinely think it would alter (harhar) his brain chemistry. sex in general is probably so overwhelming for him considering how long he’s abstained, so i can’t imagine how mind breaking it would be to be on the receiving end of so much pleasure. seb? i think he’d be so intimidated and hesitant to the idea at first, but he’d quickly loose his absolute mind once things get going. slurring his words, drooling into the pillow.

if we really wanna get into luke and simon though, i think they’re both similar in the sense that in the beginning they’d be really hesitant to the idea of anything inside them. there’s just *no way* they’d like that, i mean….who do you think they are? they like to fuck, not be fucked! but obviously they become absolute sluts to their prostates being played with very quickly. i can just imagine simon begging for u and brendan to put it in at the same time because “i can take it!! i swear i can!! come on….please, please?”

okay luke and simon hard agree fully. especially with simon wanting u and brendan to fuck him at the same time. he’s whining he can take it, he’ll make it fit please he wants both of ur cocks so bad … brendan’s gotta slap him to make him shut up. they both loooove prostate massages, it makes lukes mind melt and he shakes all over until he cums from it, and then he’s all pliant and relaxed, his sore muscles all tired. simon likes when u make him stand, bent over something, and u watch as his legs shake and tremble and he almost falls everytime. he loves u humiliating him.

hook and charlie are the ones who would take like … the longest to convince. even longer than it did with rob. they’re both a bit reserved there like… no i’m in charge? but u’ve just got the cutest puppy eyes and they’re never able to say no to u, at all, no matter what. they’re similar to rob in the sense that they stretch out and let u do ur thing, telling u to be careful, gentle, and they’re pretty calm at first because it doesn’t hurt but it just feels.. odd. yk? but once u’ve got enough lube and u find that little spot, the arousal in his body spikes ten fold and color fills his cheeks. safe to safe they enjoy it and will want to do it again

i think nikolai is more open to the idea, but he wants to be in charge. i see nikolai as probably the least likely to want to be submissive, so he will let u fuck him, but he wants to ride u. growls and groans about ur cock, how deep it reaches, how good it feels, cooing at ur good ideas and asking if u like watching him ride u. ur a mess by the end of it all

ernst is obviously the most likely to enjoy it all. he’s embarrassed at first like.. no that’s dirty! that’s embarrassing! ur not supposed to touch there! but it doesn’t take long with u batting ur eyes and palming over his cock to convince him. ernst is definitely also the one who falls apart the most. he’s practically screaming, his legs kicking, eyes lidded, rolling back, crossing, he’s drooling and panting like an overactive dog, and his cocks making even more of a mess than his mouth

i think before pegging father anthony he’d need to be worked up to it a lot. and slowly. i can picture one night ur just working on stretching him some more, ur up to two fingers, all slick with lube and spit. ur tongues laving over his balls to soothe and distract, heavy moans falling from his lips. ur fingers curl and ughhtht he just falls apart. obscene, pornography worthy moans are sounding from him, head craned back, hands gripping the duvet. it’s so unbelievably intimate for him, and he didn’t know he could feel this good ever. he probably cries, and u nearly stop until he’s gasping ‘my angel, oh, keep going, please’

seb’s another one kinda close to ernst in the way he’d react. he’d be pretty open to the idea for the most part but would take a while to work up to actually executing the idea. once u’ve got started he rivals a woman in a porno. moaning loud, making his throat hoarse, getting himself fucked into the mattress probably surrounded by ur plushies

[castleaudios]

HI CASTLE, WELCOME TO TUMBLR!! (thank the gods you made one, I cannot keep track of twitter to save my life) I considered sending this outside of anon but, I am not ready to be perceived. Anyway- hmmmm I wanted to know a couple stupid things and now I can ask them.

How bad is Celine at keeping updated with the times? We know she uses spectacles. Does she still use quills and ink bottles???? Can she at least use a brick phone?? Does she know what a tamagotchi is.

What does evie do for work? We know what Beth does for work, but as far as I can remember we haven't heard about what evie does.

What is Rose's favourite genre of book? We're certain that she reads in her free time but we don't really know what she reads. Is she into fantasy? Does she secretly have a taste for those mature books hidden in the back of the library that Chloe mentioned? or something else? I MUST KNOW

What name would Ro like to be their official legal name? I'm assuming Ro is short for something but, if I'm wrong just correct me.

I have no questions for Claire, she just deserves a hug.

Actually no, has she talked to ranger about what she's discovered yet?

Who got Beth into therapy? She's clearly grown a lot over the last few years, and her therapist definitely worked overtime for that first year, but I can't imagine that Beth was the one to first take that step.

Will Abby ever follow up on that story of how she felt drawn to glenwood? She seemed pretty excited about it

Speaking of that, is that whole "glenwood called to me" thing, something rooted in magic? Is it orchestrated, is it just things coming together coincidentally? Or things falling into place through some force.

I know you mentioned collabs in your q&a and, I won't rush you cause that's pretty daunting. But- have you considered who you'd want to voice Simon? I know that there's probably other characters who may show up in the future but, Simon is so cool and I would love to see who you envision playing him if you ever push through with a collab in the future.

Did you ever find that color palette of each character that you mentioned during your q&a?

Once again, you do such great work and all of it just brightens my day! I hope you have a good one -Arry

THANK YOU! And don’t worry, I’m still not used to being perceived, this shit is weird

But onto the questions!

1. She’s actually very good at keeping up with the world, it’s just the digital age that’s been so quick, plus the rest of the vamps saving her from the internet. Celine’s a collector by nature so she had every tamagotchi

2. Evie worked as a math tutor and at a grocery store to pay the rent, but now she’s on the pack’s payroll helping maintain the finances for the whole operation.

3. Rose is a sci-fi/fantasy reader and she most certainly knows all about that secret shelf in the back! Her favorite series is the original John Carter books, her most recent read was “The Fifth Season” by N.K. Jemisin

4. Ro is their full chosen name! They no longer go by their deadname and the whole pack has moved on from using it. All the paperwork was to simply make the change official on all their legal documents!

5. She does 😔

6. That little conversation will be next week’s audio! (1/18/23)

7. Beth has been in therapy since she was 13 years old. She stopped going for a while before reconnecting with a new therapist after the whole pack situation happened. Simon was the one to officially get her started and we’ll learn why in Beth’s next audio!

8. Yes, she will! There will be more explanation for what that “pull” is and why the Open Wielder felt it as well

9. I promise that Glenwood isn’t nearly as sinister as people are thinking.

10. Simon is a character who is very dear to my heart and will appears in multiple audios, so finding a VA who could be on standby for that has been tricky! I’d love to hold auditions for anyone who’d like to try out and play him. I always imagine Simon as just a brick wall of a man (think Sig Curtis from FMAB or Massimo from Luca) so I’d love to find a voice that fits that image. No VA’s immediately come to mind but I also wouldn’t want to put any pressure on any creator mentioned.

11. I… completely forgot about the color pallet… adding it to the To Do List!

Thank you for all your questions! I hope you have a great day as well 💛

[bleulone]

i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

    Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

   Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

    I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

    When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

    Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

    It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

   Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

   It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

    Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

    All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

    If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;)) 

[rawstfish]

Mall of Verdanks Chapter 2

Warning: none, unless you count long as one

Gaz glared at Soap.

“Any actual questions, FNG?” He said through gritted teeth.

“That was an actual question.” It was like Soap was challenging him, but it would be the lamest challenge anyone could witness.

“Sure. Anyways-”

“Gaz, I need to see you in my office.” A deep british voice interpreted them. Both men whipped their heads around. Soap could feel his face heating up at the mere sight of his boss. As quickly as he turned his head, he lowered it.

Fucking hell I forgot he was here. Dumbass why would he not be here? He’s the fucking owner of the store, and now look at how your acting. He hired a fucking employee not some blushing teenage girl. He still hung his head low, his thoughts broken by Gaz’s voice.

“I’m training the FNG right now sir.” Soap widens his eyes at his response. How big are these dudes balls to talk to the boss like that? There’s no way his boss isn’t about to take his fucking head off.

“Office now.” The bearded man left after that. Soap could have Gaz mumble under his breath, he could barely make out the words “horny bastard”.

“Excuse me, just stay next to Roach.” Gaz unclipped his walkie talkie from his slightly baggy pants.

“Golem, tell Alex to come over to the cash register in the flower department.” With that Gaz left without any more words. Soap finally lifted his head, looking over towards Roach. Actually looking at his face, you could see his bloodshot and watery eyes. His face the most relax thing Soap has ever seen.

Is this dude fucking high right now? How did he even check that person out? Soap waved his hand in front of his face. Roach had no reaction, he wasn’t even blinking.

“Hey.” Why did Soap think that would work?

“Hey!” He persisted.

“Don’t fucking yell at him!” A force deep voice snapped. Soap Jumped, immediately turning around to face the voice. He was met with a short man, wearing a skull mask. He also had dark sunglasses covering his eyes.

“He just high off his balls right now, now leave him alone.” The new short man continued to snap.

“Why the fuck is he high while working in the first place? And where did you come from?” If Soap was to be honest, he was scared of this little man.

“Because he can, and I just so happened to walk into you yelling at my friend.” His sunglasses- covered eyes found Soap’s tag.

“Oh you're the FNG. A little tip for you then, don’t fucking yell at Roach or me.” Soap could feel his intense glare burning a hole right through him. Even walking away into the back, the man held his glare. Soap felt like he would never escape his glare.

What the fuck is wrong with that dude? Why is he wearing a skull mask? And why am I feeling so intimidated by him? Come on Soap, he’s basically a fucking twink. You could take him easily any day. Once again his first day is going down the shit drain. His ears were filled with heavy footsteps and dragged boots. He broke away from his thoughts being met with a much taller man this time.

“Are you gonna yell at me too?” He questioned the stranger.

“You met Ghost didn’t you?” An American voice questioned back.

“That’s his fucking name?” Soap knew he must look so dumbfounded

“Well his real name is Simon, but he persists that everyone calls him Ghost. Anyway, don't mind him, he’s just short-tempered.” Both of the men snickered at that. Ghost was short-tempered indeed.

“Ahem, You're the FNG right?” There goes Soap’s one second good mood.

“Yeah.” Just when soap thought he would like this guy.

“What’s with the sour look? If it’s the nickname, don’t get caught up about it. We were all the FNG once.” This man tried to reassure, but Soap still wore the sour look.

“Um, do you know why Gaz asked for me, I don’t see him over here.” Great now Soap made this man radiate awkwardness.

“Price called him to the back while he was training me.” The American giggled and shook his head.

“You’ll be stuck with me for a bit then. What do you know so far?” Soap was thankful that the overwhelming awkwardness was starting to leave the man. He would have beaten himself up if he made this dude hate him.

Soap gave him a recap of what Roach had visually teached him.

“Perfect, the next customer that comes over is yours then.” Somehow every person in the mall has perfect timing, because an old lady with packets of flower seeds slowly came up.

----

What a fucking first day. I would have never guessed a plant store, would be so fucking exhausting. No scratch that, I never have guessed assholes run plant stores. Soap clocked out, ready to finally go home. However, he was stopped by none other than Price.

“Before you leave, I need you to get a cake for me.” His gruff voice broke the silence, his blue eyes piercing Soap's own blue eyes.

Why did I need to get a cake right before I leave? Can’t he just get it? He desperately needed to lay on his bed, filled with the stray cats he brought in.

“Okay.” Soap reluctantly agreed.

“It’s from the bakery across from us, and it's under the name Price. I already paid for it.” With that, Price took his leave. Soap stood questioning that if Price hadn’t paid already, would he have made Soap pay for it?

----

Soap was face to face with bright, blue, neon lights. The word “Spetsnaz” being written out. He pushed the glass door open, a bell following his movements. He thought the fluorescent lights in the shop were bright, but this place is proving him wrong. The color white over took his eyes with the help of some blue. Little white, metal chairs were paired with the same styled tables.

There was a skinny man at the front counter, playing on his phone. A broad man wearing a completely black mask stood behind him, chatting with a man who was small in every way and a net hanging over his face.

“Ahem, I’m here for a cake. It’s under the name Price.” Soap nervously said, the two masked men immediately stopped talking and looked up. Their cold eyes staring Soap down. He wasn’t going to move an inch from his spot at the door.

“Oh, you must be the FNG!” The man working the front excitedly stated.

Does everyone in the fucking mall know that term? Soap’s nervousness was instantly placed back with the irritation he’s worn all day.

“Let me go get that for you.” The skinny man left, his big head the last thing Soap saw of him. Great, now he was left with the scariest man he has ever seen. He held his head down, too afraid to even accidentally make eye contact.

“How was your first day? They tear you up already? You look like the type to plead and beg for mercy at the littlest amount of pain.” A thick austria accent said, but he couldn’t tell which man it came from. Whoever it was, made a sharp shiver run down Soap’s spine.

“You're not going to answer him? Trying to play the rule of the strong, silent type?” This time a heavy, raspy russian accent was directed at him. Soap has never wanted to leave a place so fucking fast. He felt like he had to reply now, who knows what would happen if he didn’t.

Before he could get any words out of his mouth, the skinny man had returned.

“Don’t mind these two, they’re all bark and no bite. Well, except for Krueger.” He could probably sense Soap’s fear. Hell anyone could have honestly.

“Excuse me? When have I ever been “all bark and no bite”, Rodion?” The broad, russian man spoke. At least Soap knows whose voice is whose now.

“To me.” The Rodion guy did a little pose and blinked his eyelashes in response.

“I hit you at least once a day.” The bigger man deadpanned.

“But I know it's out of love and not hate.”

“Yet you still cry about it.” You could feel the smirk on his face.

“Nikto!” Rodion cried, going to kick him but missing completely. The two masked men laughed at him.

How can that tiny guy be so fearless around these two. Now I’m fucking scared of him too. This mall has some seriously fucked up people. Soap quickly walked up to the counter.

“Can I have the cake now?” Soap finally dared to utter words.

“Oh yes, I’m so sorry.” Rodion put the cake down and turned back the mask men. Soap has never grabbed a cake so fast in his life. The sounds of the three dudes followed him until the door.

----

“Price, I have the cake. I’m sorry if I took too long.” Soap was beyond glad to be back in the back rooms. The color gray was never so soothing.

“I’m in here.” Price's voice came from the breakroom.

Upon entering, Soap was attacked by playful colors of tiny confetti. If he didn’t have a tight grip on the cake, he would have for sure dropped it.

“Happy first day, Fucking New Guy.” Soap’s eye twitched at that. The break room was filled with, what Soap could assume, every employee in the store.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Criticize is very much welcome :)

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Come play with me Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, cursing, allusion to non-con.

Words: 2060.

Summary: Having to deal with Bucky Barnes, a talented head engineer who you have to convince cooperating with your boss, you suddenly discover his psychopathic tendencies. Worse, he has taken an eerie interest in you.

Part 1

P.S. More references to “Death Machine” movie I saw when I was a kid 🙈

_______________

Nervously glancing around a messy room full of odd equipment, screwdrivers, nails, military clothing like combat pants, and scary drawings hanging on the walls, you sat on an empty chair Barnes had offered you. In fact, it was the only empty chair in the room.

“Yeah, I need to clean up, I know.” He muttered under his breath, grabbing a pile of papers on his seat and dropping them to the floor close to his table as he started typing something on his laptop. “Never have time for this.”

You nodded, pretending you cared. Actually, the only thing you wanted was getting away as far as you could from Barnes, a man who had completely turned your life upside down in a matter of hours.

First, as you tried fighting him, he had blocked all your cards and literally stripped you of all your money - you couldn’t understand how the bank security overlooked the transfer, but all you had left were ten dollars on your account. When you got hysterical, crying and pleading Bucky to get it all back, he carefully explained to you that all you needed to do was to listen to him. You were still furious, remembering how he talked to you as if you were a child.

Then Barnes told you he would have what he wanted anyway, but he didn’t need to break you in the process. It wasn’t fun, he said, albeit having you cry under him as he sat on top of you laying on your bed. When you finally submitted, knowing you couldn’t overpower him, that bull of a man, Bucky returned you your money, adding a few thousand dollars “for the trouble”. You had never felt so humiliated in your entire life.

You chose not to think of what had happened after that.

“Shit, they fucked it up again.” Bucky growled in frustration, rubbing his eyes as he stared into one of several monitors on his desk. “Baby, can you make me coffee while I’m dealing with this shit?”

What? Coffee? Did he bring you here for this?

Clenching your fists, you kept your mouth shut as you glanced over the room, quickly finding a dirty coffee maker in the corner. Trying to convince yourself it was better than giving him a blowjob while he was working, you moved from your seat and went to have a look at the little glass kettle. It definitely needed a good wash, so you disconnected it and headed to the door. While passing beside Bucky’s back, you were abruptly stopped by him tugging on your pencil skirt.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He growled, narrowing his eyes at you. There was something carnivorous in his gaze as he watched you freezing in place.

Showing him the coffee maker, you nervously said, “It’s dirty. I want to clean it before making coffee for you.”

He blinked for a few times and let go of your skirt. Lifting his eyes to your face, he softened, motioning to you, “Kitchen’s on your left. Thanks.” As he turned back to the monitor, making no attempt to stop you, you carefully moved forward, stopping yourself from running away.

When the door closed beside you, you finally exhaled as if you escaped the death room with a deranged psycho with an axe in it. Well, the deranged psycho was actually there, but without a weapon, you hoped. Not that you saw any.

Speeding up, you found a kitchen on your left just as Barnes said, relieved no one was there - for some reason, you were afraid of his co-workers since none of them had reported Bucky before... Come to think of it, maybe they did. But HYDRA wiped everything out because Barnes was irreplaceable, and until he murdered someone the company was probably okay with pretty much everything he was doing if he continued to work for them. Or were there any boundaries at all? If Barnes was a murderer, would the company cover him up just because he was the one making billions for them?

You threw away the used filter and placed the kettle into the sink. You needed to find a way to leave him, but as careful as possible. No one knew what Barnes was capable of.

The smell of coffee made Bucky finally snap back to reality as he inhaled the aroma, stretching his arms while you watched his muscles flexing. Despite him looking pretty good, you were more scared rather than aroused.

“Here.” You said, placing a cup of black coffee in front of him - no milk, no sugar just like he instructed you.

Barnes grinned at you, tucking a strand of his dark hair behind the ear, and the next moment you ended up on his lap as he gripped you by the waist, then taking his coffee like it was something completely natural. Stilling, you squirmed uncomfortably, unwilling to be so close to him. He was acting as if you were his girlfriend, and you were not okay with it, but preferred being silent rather than having an argument that could lead to Barnes becoming violent.

“Thank you, doll.” He whispered, leaving a quick kiss on your cheek, and you winced from a sudden feeling of his three-days beard brushing against your sensitive skin. Bucky proceeded to sip his coffee and stare into the monitor, a dozen of blueprints opened at the same time didn’t bother him, seemingly.

You had been tense for a couple of minutes before you realized Barnes was completely absorbed by his work, caressing you through your clothes with his hand from time to time, but doing little else. All he saw were numerous reports and blueprints. Sometimes Bucky was getting upset when a small window with a chat popped up above his programs, and he hurriedly typed a message to some of his colleagues, you supposed.

Since there was nothing much left to do, you tried to understand what Bucky was working on. In the end, it was going to be your job - he had already submitted all the forms to get you a position of a project manager. You didn’t know how HYDRA’s executives was gonna react, but something told you Barnes could convince them to do as he pleased. Even the thought of that was frightening to you.

The more you watched, the more you thought the new project didn’t remind you the weapon control system but the weapon itself. Of course, you weren’t an engineer, but you had a good knowledge of HYDRA’s already existing active protection systems. This wasn’t it even in the slightest. It was more of some weird cyborg thing, you thought as you kept looking at what appeared to be biomechatronic body parts.

Was he working on some side project now? Was it even HYDRA’s project?

As you leaned closer to the monitor, trying to understand what this was and why Barnes was working on it, your heard the man chuckling.

“Interested?” He asked, making you lean back into him with his hand pressed to your chest.

“I thought you were working on the new weapon control system. What’s this?”

“Oh, this is the best thing I’ve ever done, baby. It will bring HYDRA to the top of the world.” Grinning, he closed the blueprint he was working on and opened a different one, a colored 3D model of a heavily armed man wearing something that almost looked like a futuristic military suit. “This is the Supersoldier project, the top-secret thing Pierce wants me to be the lead of.”

Pierce. Alexander Pierce, the new CEO of the corporation who took this position after Fury’s dismissal. Did he give Barnes a secret project? Why on Earth did he want HYDRA to be involved into weapon production? It was beyond corporation’s reach. They simply didn’t have the permission, never cooperating with military for this purpose. What Barnes was doing was illegal.

“So, is this why you don’t submit the new reports?” You asked, trembling slightly on his lap and almost missing a kiss Bucky left on the back of your neck. It was better not to ask too many questions.

“You don’t understand.” He laughed, making you turn your face to him as he caressed it with his gloved hand. “There can be no reports because there is no new weapon control system. It had never been planned. Your boss won’t have any details, because there are none.”

You felt your head spinning. What? What? How could it be? The Board of Directors wanted that project. You were sure most of them knew nothing about the thing Barnes was working on now. It was simply unbelievable. The head engineer of HYDRA’s Corp was involved in an illegal project to create a cybernetically-enhanced soldier, and no one knew of it.

You were becoming involved in something very, very dangerous. People like Alexander Pierce and the ones he was doing this project for were much scarier than a psychopathic genius Bucky Barnes.

Fuck. You were in deep, deep trouble.

“Mr. Simons will get fired then, I see.” You mumbled, trying to find words and talk about something that wouldn’t involve the Supersoldier project. The more you knew, the shorter your life would be, you feared.

“Sorry about that, doll.” Barnes’ smirk was irritating at best. “But I really need you here with me. This project is quite stressful, and when I’m stressed, I don’t work well. Last time I’ve fucked up my arm completely.”

“Your arm?”

“Huh, you didn’t see?”

Oh, you didn’t like it. You didn’t like it when Barnes lifted his arm and took his leather glove off, revealing a metal hand instead of a flesh one. He then rolled the sleeve of his thick hoodie further, and you realized his whole arm was made out of metal.

Barnes was experimenting on himself. He was that first supersoldier Pierce wanted.

As you looked at him with an expression of utter horror written on your face, Barnes chuckled, making you lean closer to him and kissing you deeply, his tongue licking the insides of your mouth shamelessly while you froze, unable to accept the truth. When you touched his metal fingers, they radiated heat as if they were of flesh and blood. How was it possible? Why Barnes was doing this? Didn’t he understand why Pierce wanted him to work on this project and what he was going to do with it once Bucky finished?

No, Barnes knew. He was anything but stupid. Maybe he wanted HYDRA to have its own supersoldiers. Maybe Bucky wanted this power.

“I’m a war vet, baby. I’ve lost my arm around ten years ago.” He said as he touched your skin with his metal hand. “Dealing with those shitty prostheses was a nightmare, believe me. But look at this - it’s perfect. I can draw with it - and I can crack Pierce’s skull just as easily. Isn’t a miracle? You didn’t even realize what I had there until I showed you.”

“I don’t think people will call it miracle when Mr. Pierce makes his personal cyborgs army.” You said quietly and shivered from the thought. It was unbelievable, like a plot of a sci-fi movie or something, yet you were staring at Barnes’ metal arm now. If anyone could make this horror a reality, it was him. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you understand what’s going to happen?”

“What? Like a war or something?” He asked with irritation, watching you frown. “Since I’ve returned home, there was not a year without a war somewhere on Earth. This peace pacifists are talking about exists only in their idle imagination. So why not to be prepared in advance, huh? Besides, it’s so much fun, baby. You’ll see soon.”

As you attempted to stand up, he squeezed you with his solid, beefy arms, bringing you closer so you sat back on his lap, spreading your legs while Bucky made you face him, caressing your thighs. Your face was burning hot as your skirt got up, baring your silk stockings.

“I’ll show you everything you want to know.” He breathed into your face, and you felt Barnes was becoming hard, his dick brushing against your core covered by pretty black laced panties as he made you roll your hips, touching your back. “But let’s do it after a small break, ok?”

_____________________

Tags: @finleyjayne​ @alexakeyloveloki​   ​@helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi​ @hurricanerin​ ​@void-hoechlin​ @abyssaint​ @heeeyitskay​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @navegandoaciegas​ @rosalynshields​ @brattycherubwrites​ @sllooney​ @angrythingstarlight​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @soleil-dor​ @iheartsebastianstan​​ @lookiamtrying​​ @buckysbunny​​

[hlupdate]

Variety’s Grammy-nominated Hitmaker of the Year goes deep on the music industry, the great pause and finding his own muses.

“We’ll dance again,” Harry Styles coos, the Los Angeles sunshine peeking through his pandemic-shaggy hair just so. The singer, songwriter and actor — beloved and critically acclaimed thanks to his life-affirming year-old album, “Fine Line” — is lamenting that his Variety Hitmaker of the Year cover conversation has to be conducted over Zoom rather than in person. Even via videoconference, the Brit is effortlessly charming, as anyone who’s come within earshot of him would attest, but it quickly becomes clear that beneath that genial smile is a well-honed media strategy.

To wit: In an interview that appears a few days later announcing his investment in a new arena in his native Manchester (more on that in a bit), he repeats the refrain — “There will be a time we dance again”— referencing a much-needed return to live music and the promise of some 4,000 jobs for residents.

None of which is to suggest that Styles, 26, phones it in for interviews. Quite the opposite: He does very few, conceivably to give more of himself and not cheapen what is out there and also to use the publicity opportunity to indulge his other interests, like fashion. (Last month Styles became the first male to grace the cover of Vogue solo.) Still, it stings a little that a waltz with the former One Direction member may not come to pass on this album cycle — curse you, coronavirus.

Styles’ isolation has coincided with his maturation as an artist, a thespian and a person. With “Fine Line,” he’s proved himself a skilled lyricist with a tremendous ear for harmony and melody. In preparing for his role in Olivia Wilde’s period thriller “Don’t Worry Darling,” which is shooting outside Palm Springs, he found an outlet for expression in interpreting words on a page. And for the first time, he’s using his megaphone to speak out about social justice — inspired by the outpouring of support for Black people around the world following the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police in May.

Styles has spent much of the past nine months at home in London, where life has slowed considerably. The time has allowed him to ponder such heady issues as his purpose on the earth. “It’s been a pause that I don’t know if I would have otherwise taken,” says Styles. “I think it’s been pretty good for me to have a kind of stop, to look and think about what it actually means to be an artist, what it means to do what we do and why we do it. I lean into moments like this — moments of uncertainty.”

In truth, while Styles has largely been keeping a low profile — his Love On Tour, due to kick off on April 15, was postponed in late March and is now scheduled to launch in February 2021 (whether it actually will remains to be seen) — his music has not. This is especially true in the U.S., where he’s notched two hit singles, “Adore You,” the second-most-played song at radio in 2020, and “Watermelon Sugar” (No. 22 on Variety’s year-end Hitmakers chart), with a third, “Golden,” already cresting the top 20 on the pop format. The massive cross-platform success of these songs means Styles has finally and decisively broken into the American market, maneuvering its web of gatekeepers to accumulate 6.2 million consumption units and rising.

Why do these particular songs resonate in 2020? Styles doesn’t have the faintest idea. While he acknowledges a “nursery rhyme” feel to “Watermelon Sugar” with its earwormy loop of a chorus, that’s about as much insight as he can offer. His longtime collaborator and friend Tom Hull, also known as the producer Kid Harpoon, offers this take: “There’s a lot of amazing things about that song, but what really stands out is the lyric. It’s not trying to hide or be clever. The simplicity of watermelon … there’s such a joy in it, [which] is a massive part of that song’s success.” Also, his kids love it. “I’ve never had a song connect with children in this way,” says Hull, whose credits include tunes by Shawn Mendes, Florence and the Machine and Calvin Harris. “I get sent videos all the time from friends of their kids singing. I have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they listen to it.”

Styles is quick to note that he doesn’t chase pop appeal when crafting songs. In fact, the times when he pondered or approved a purposeful tweak, like on his self-titled 2017 debut, still gnaw at him. “I love that album so much because it represents such a time in my life, but when I listen to it — sonically and lyrically, especially — I can hear places where I was playing it safe,” he says. “I was scared to get it wrong.”

Contemporary effects and on-trend beats hardly factor into Styles’ decision-making. He likes to focus on feelings — his own and his followers’ — and see himself on the other side of the velvet rope, an important distinction in his view. “People within [the industry] feel like they operate on a higher level of listening, and I like to make music from the point of being a fan of music,” Styles says. “Fans are the best A&R.”

This from someone who’s had free rein to pursue every musical whim, and hand in the album of his dreams in the form of “Fine Line.” Chart success makes it all the sweeter, but Styles insists that writing “for the right reasons” supersedes any commercial considerations. “There’s no part that feels, eh, icky — like it was made in the lab,” he says.

Styles has experience in this realm. As a graduate of the U.K. competition series “The X Factor,” where he and four other auditionees — Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson — were singled out by show creator and star judge Simon Cowell to conjoin as One Direction, he’s seen how the prefab pop machine works up close. The One Direction oeuvre, which counts some 42 million albums sold worldwide, includes songs written with such established hitmakers as Ryan Tedder, Savan Kotecha and Teddy Geiger. Being a studious, insatiable observer, Styles took it all in.

“I learned so much,” he says of the experience. “When we were in the band, I used to try and write with as many different people as I could. I wanted to practice — and I wrote a lot of bad shit.”

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

This departs from the typical trajectories of boy bands including New Kids on the Block and ’N Sync, which have all pro ered a star frontman. The thinking for decades was that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

Styles has plainly thought about this.

“When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band. ‘Don’t worry, everyone, that wasn’t me! Now I get to do what I really want to do.’ But we loved being in the band,” he says. “I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it.”

Indeed, during the five-ish years that One Direction existed, Styles’ schedule involved the sort of nonstop international jet-setting that few get to see in a lifetime, never mind their teenage years. Between 2011 and 2015, One Direction’s tours pulled in north of $631 million in gross ticket sales, according to concert trade Pollstar, and the band was selling out stadiums worldwide by the time it entered its extended hiatus. Styles, too, had built up to playing arenas as a solo artist, engaging audiences with his colorful stage wear and banter and left-of-center choices for opening acts (a pre-Grammy-haul Kacey Musgraves in 2018; indie darlings King Princess and Jenny Lewis for his rescheduled 2021 run).

Stages of all sizes feel like home to Styles. He grew up in a suburb of Manchester, ground zero for some of the biggest British acts of the 1980s and ’90s, including Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths and Oasis, the latter of which broke the same year Styles was born. His parents were also music lovers. Styles’ father fed him a balanced diet of the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones and Queen, while Mum was a fan of Shania Twain, Norah Jones and Savage Garden. “They’re all great melody writers,” says Styles of the acts’ musical throughline.

Stevie Nicks, who in the past has described “Fine Line” as Styles’ “Rumours,” referencing the Fleetwood Mac 1977 classic, sees him as a kindred spirit. “Harry writes and sings his songs about real experiences that seemingly happened yesterday,” she tells Variety. “He taps into real life. He doesn’t make up stories. He tells the truth, and that is what I do. ‘Fine Line’ has been my favorite record since it came out. It is his ‘Rumours.’ I told him that in a note on December 13, 2019 before he went on stage to play the ‘Fine Line’ album at the Forum. We cried. He sang those songs like he had sung them a thousand times. That’s a great songwriter and a great performer.”

“Harry’s playing and writing is instinctual,” adds Jonathan Wilson, a friend and peer who’s advised Styles on backing and session musicians. “He understands history and where to take the torch. You can see the thread of great British performers — from Bolan to Bowie — in his music.”

Also shaping his musical DNA was Manchester itself, the site of a 23,500-seat arena, dubbed Co-op Live, for which Styles is an investor and adviser. Oak View Group, a company specializing in live entertainment and global sports that was founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015 (Jeffrey Azoff, Irving’s son, represents Styles at Full Stop Management), is leading the effort to construct the venue. The project gained planning approval in September and is set to open in 2023, with its arrival representing a £350 million ($455 million) investment in the city. (Worth noting: Manchester is already home to an arena — the site of a 2017 bombing outside an Ariana Grande concert — and a football stadium, where One Love Manchester, an all-star benefit show to raise money for victims of the terrorist attack, took place.)

“I went to my first shows in Manchester,” Styles says of concerts paid for with money earned delivering newspapers for a supermarket called the Co-op. “My friends and I would go in on weekends. There’s so many amazing small venues, and music is such a massive part of the city. I think Manchester deserves it. It feels like a full-circle, coming-home thing to be doing this and to be able to give any kind of input. I’m incredibly proud. Hopefully they’ll let me play there at some point.”

Though Styles has owned properties in Los Angeles, his base for the foreseeable future is London. “I feel like my relationship with L.A. has changed a lot,” he explains. “I’ve kind of accepted that I don’t have to live here anymore; for a while I felt like I was supposed to. Like it meant things were going well. This happened, then you move to L.A.! But I don’t really want to.”

Is it any wonder? Between COVID and the turmoil in the U.S. spurred by the presidential election, Styles, like some 79 million American voters, is recovering from sticker shock over the bill of goods sold to them by the concept of democracy. “In general, as people, there’s a lack of empathy,” he observes. “We found this place that’s so divisive. We just don’t listen to each other anymore. And that’s quite scary.”

That belief prompted Styles to speak out publicly in the wake of George Floyd’s death. As protests in support of Black Lives Matter took to streets all over the world, for Styles, it triggered a period of introspection, as marked by an Instagram message (liked by 2.7 million users and counting) in which he declared: “I do things every day without fear, because I am privileged, and I am privileged every day because I am white. … Being not racist is not enough, we must be anti racist. Social change is enacted when a society mobilizes. I stand in solidarity with all of those protesting. I’m donating to help post bail for arrested organizers. Look inwards, educate yourself and others. LISTEN, READ, SHARE, DONATE and VOTE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

“Talking about race can be really uncomfortable for everyone,” Styles elaborates. “I had a realization that my own comfort in the conversation has nothing to do with the problem — like that’s not enough of a reason to not have a conversation. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve been outspoken enough in the past. Using that feeling has pushed me forward to being open and ready to learn. … How can I ensure from my side that in 20 years, the right things are still being done and the right people are getting the right opportunities? That it’s not a passing thing?”

His own record company — and corporate parent Sony Music Group, whose chairman, Rob Stringer, signed Styles in 2016 — has been grappling with these same questions as the industry has faced its own reckoning with race. At issue: inequality among the upper ranks (an oft-cited statistic: popular music is 80% Black, but the music business is 80% white); contracts rooted in a decades-old system that many say is set up to take advantage of artists, Black artists more unfairly than white; and the call for a return of master rights, an ownership model that is at the core of the business.

Styles acknowledges the fundamental imbalance in how a major label deal is structured — the record company takes on the financial risk while the artist is made to recoup money spent on the project before the act is considered profitable and earning royalties (typically at a 15% to 18% rate for the artist, while the label keeps and disburses the rest). “Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music,” he says. “There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change.”

By all accounts, Styles is a voracious reader, a movie lover and an aesthete. He stays in shape by adhering to a strict daily exercise routine. “I tried to keep up but didn’t last more than two weeks,” says Hull, Styles’ producer, with a laugh. “The discipline is terrifying.”

Of course, with the fashion world beckoning — Styles recently appeared in a film series for Gucci’s new collection that was co-directed by the fashion house’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and Oscar winner Gus Van Sant — and a movie that’s set in the 1950s, maintaining that physique is part of the job. And he’s no stranger to visual continuity after appearing in Christopher Nolan’s epic “Dunkirk” and having to return to set for reshoots; his hair, which needed to be cut back to its circa 1940 form, is a constant topic of conversation among fans. This time, it’s the ink that poses a challenge. By Styles’ tally, he’s up to 60 tattoos, which require an hour in the makeup chair to cover up. “It’s the only time I really regret getting tattooed,” he says.

He shows no regret, however, when it comes to stylistic choices overall, and takes pride in his gender-agnostic portfolio, which includes wearing a Gucci dress on that Vogue cover— an image that incited conservative pundit Candace Owens to plead publicly to “bring back manly men.” In Styles’ view: “To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

But acclaim, if you can believe it, is not top of mind for Styles. As far as the Grammys are concerned, Styles shrugs, “It’s never why I do anything.” His team and longtime label, however, had their hearts set on a showing at the Jan. 31 ceremony. Their investment in Styles has been substantial — not just monetarily but in carefully crafting his career in the wake of such icons as David Bowie, who released his final albums with the label. Hope at the company and in many fans’ hearts that Styles would receive an album of the year nomination did not come to pass. However, he was recognized in three categories, including best pop vocal album.

“It’s always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff,” Styles says. “I think it’s important when making any kind of art to remove the ego from it.” Citing the painter Matisse, he adds: “It’s about the work that you do when you’re not expecting any applause.”

[hldailyupdate]

This Charming Man: Why We’re Wild About Harry Styles

Variety’s Grammy-nominated Hitmaker of the Year goes deep on the music industry, the great pause and finding his own muses.

“We’ll dance again,” Harry Styles coos, the Los Angeles sunshine peeking through his pandemic-shaggy hair just so. The singer, songwriter and actor — beloved and critically acclaimed thanks to his life-affirming year-old album, “Fine Line” — is lamenting that his Variety Hitmaker of the Year cover conversation has to be conducted over Zoom rather than in person. Even via videoconference, the Brit is effortlessly charming, as anyone who’s come within earshot of him would attest, but it quickly becomes clear that beneath that genial smile is a well-honed media strategy.

To wit: In an interview that appears a few days later announcing his investment in a new arena in his native Manchester (more on that in a bit), he repeats the refrain — “There will be a time we dance again”— referencing a much-needed return to live music and the promise of some 4,000 jobs for residents.

None of which is to suggest that Styles, 26, phones it in for interviews. Quite the opposite: He does very few, conceivably to give more of himself and not cheapen what is out there and also to use the publicity opportunity to indulge his other interests, like fashion. (Last month Styles became the first male to grace the cover of Vogue solo.) Still, it stings a little that a waltz with the former One Direction member may not come to pass on this album cycle — curse you, coronavirus.

Styles’ isolation has coincided with his maturation as an artist, a thespian and a person. With “Fine Line,” he’s proved himself a skilled lyricist with a tremendous ear for harmony and melody. In preparing for his role in Olivia Wilde’s period thriller “Don’t Worry Darling,” which is shooting outside Palm Springs, he found an outlet for expression in interpreting words on a page. And for the first time, he’s using his megaphone to speak out about social justice — inspired by the outpouring of support for Black people around the world following the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police in May.

Styles has spent much of the past nine months at home in London, where life has slowed considerably. The time has allowed him to ponder such heady issues as his purpose on the earth. “It’s been a pause that I don’t know if I would have otherwise taken,” says Styles. “I think it’s been pretty good for me to have a kind of stop, to look and think about what it actually means to be an artist, what it means to do what we do and why we do it. I lean into moments like this — moments of uncertainty.”

In truth, while Styles has largely been keeping a low profile — his Love On Tour, due to kick off on April 15, was postponed in late March and is now scheduled to launch in February 2021 (whether it actually will remains to be seen) — his music has not. This is especially true in the U.S., where he’s notched two hit singles, “Adore You,” the second-most-played song at radio in 2020, and “Watermelon Sugar” (No. 22 on Variety’s year-end Hitmakers chart), with a third, “Golden,” already cresting the top 20 on the pop format. The massive cross-platform success of these songs means Styles has finally and decisively broken into the American market, maneuvering its web of gatekeepers to accumulate 6.2 million consumption units and rising.

Why do these particular songs resonate in 2020? Styles doesn’t have the faintest idea. While he acknowledges a “nursery rhyme” feel to “Watermelon Sugar” with its earwormy loop of a chorus, that’s about as much insight as he can offer. His longtime collaborator and friend Tom Hull, also known as the producer Kid Harpoon, offers this take: “There’s a lot of amazing things about that song, but what really stands out is the lyric. It’s not trying to hide or be clever. The simplicity of watermelon … there’s such a joy in it, [which] is a massive part of that song’s success.” Also, his kids love it. “I’ve never had a song connect with children in this way,” says Hull, whose credits include tunes by Shawn Mendes, Florence and the Machine and Calvin Harris. “I get sent videos all the time from friends of their kids singing. I have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they listen to it.”

Styles is quick to note that he doesn’t chase pop appeal when crafting songs. In fact, the times when he pondered or approved a purposeful tweak, like on his self-titled 2017 debut, still gnaw at him. “I love that album so much because it represents such a time in my life, but when I listen to it — sonically and lyrically, especially — I can hear places where I was playing it safe,” he says. “I was scared to get it wrong.”

Contemporary effects and on-trend beats hardly factor into Styles’ decision-making. He likes to focus on feelings — his own and his followers’ — and see himself on the other side of the velvet rope, an important distinction in his view. “People within [the industry] feel like they operate on a higher level of listening, and I like to make music from the point of being a fan of music,” Styles says. “Fans are the best A&R.”

This from someone who’s had free rein to pursue every musical whim, and hand in the album of his dreams in the form of “Fine Line.” Chart success makes it all the sweeter, but Styles insists that writing “for the right reasons” supersedes any commercial considerations. “There’s no part that feels, eh, icky — like it was made in the lab,” he says.

Styles has experience in this realm. As a graduate of the U.K. competition series “The X Factor,” where he and four other auditionees — Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson — were singled out by show creator and star judge Simon Cowell to conjoin as One Direction, he’s seen how the prefab pop machine works up close. The One Direction oeuvre, which counts some 42 million albums sold worldwide, includes songs written with such established hitmakers as Ryan Tedder, Savan Kotecha and Teddy Geiger. Being a studious, insatiable observer, Styles took it all in.

“I learned so much,” he says of the experience. “When we were in the band, I used to try and write with as many different people as I could. I wanted to practice — and I wrote a lot of bad shit.”

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

This departs from the typical trajectories of boy bands including New Kids on the Block and ’N Sync, which have all pro ered a star frontman. The thinking for decades was that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

Styles has plainly thought about this.

“When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band. ‘Don’t worry, everyone, that wasn’t me! Now I get to do what I really want to do.’ But we loved being in the band,” he says. “I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it.”

Indeed, during the five-ish years that One Direction existed, Styles’ schedule involved the sort of nonstop international jet-setting that few get to see in a lifetime, never mind their teenage years. Between 2011 and 2015, One Direction’s tours pulled in north of $631 million in gross ticket sales, according to concert trade Pollstar, and the band was selling out stadiums worldwide by the time it entered its extended hiatus. Styles, too, had built up to playing arenas as a solo artist, engaging audiences with his colorful stage wear and banter and left-of-center choices for opening acts (a pre-Grammy-haul Kacey Musgraves in 2018; indie darlings King Princess and Jenny Lewis for his rescheduled 2021 run).

Stages of all sizes feel like home to Styles. He grew up in a suburb of Manchester, ground zero for some of the biggest British acts of the 1980s and ’90s, including Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths and Oasis, the latter of which broke the same year Styles was born. His parents were also music lovers. Styles’ father fed him a balanced diet of the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones and Queen, while Mum was a fan of Shania Twain, Norah Jones and Savage Garden. “They’re all great melody writers,” says Styles of the acts’ musical throughline.

Stevie Nicks, who in the past has described “Fine Line” as Styles’ “Rumours,” referencing the Fleetwood Mac 1977 classic, sees him as a kindred spirit. “Harry writes and sings his songs about real experiences that seemingly happened yesterday,” she tells Variety. “He taps into real life. He doesn’t make up stories. He tells the truth, and that is what I do. ‘Fine Line’ has been my favorite record since it came out. It is his ‘Rumours.’ I told him that in a note on December 13, 2019 before he went on stage to play the ‘Fine Line’ album at the Forum. We cried. He sang those songs like he had sung them a thousand times. That’s a great songwriter and a great performer.”

“Harry’s playing and writing is instinctual,” adds Jonathan Wilson, a friend and peer who’s advised Styles on backing and session musicians. “He understands history and where to take the torch. You can see the thread of great British performers — from Bolan to Bowie — in his music.”

Also shaping his musical DNA was Manchester itself, the site of a 23,500-seat arena, dubbed Co-op Live, for which Styles is an investor and adviser. Oak View Group, a company specializing in live entertainment and global sports that was founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015 (Jeffrey Azoff, Irving’s son, represents Styles at Full Stop Management), is leading the effort to construct the venue. The project gained planning approval in September and is set to open in 2023, with its arrival representing a £350 million ($455 million) investment in the city. (Worth noting: Manchester is already home to an arena — the site of a 2017 bombing outside an Ariana Grande concert — and a football stadium, where One Love Manchester, an all-star benefit show to raise money for victims of the terrorist attack, took place.)

“I went to my first shows in Manchester,” Styles says of concerts paid for with money earned delivering newspapers for a supermarket called the Co-op. “My friends and I would go in on weekends. There’s so many amazing small venues, and music is such a massive part of the city. I think Manchester deserves it. It feels like a full-circle, coming-home thing to be doing this and to be able to give any kind of input. I’m incredibly proud. Hopefully they’ll let me play there at some point.”

Though Styles has owned properties in Los Angeles, his base for the foreseeable future is London. “I feel like my relationship with L.A. has changed a lot,” he explains. “I’ve kind of accepted that I don’t have to live here anymore; for a while I felt like I was supposed to. Like it meant things were going well. This happened, then you move to L.A.! But I don’t really want to.”

Is it any wonder? Between COVID and the turmoil in the U.S. spurred by the presidential election, Styles, like some 79 million American voters, is recovering from sticker shock over the bill of goods sold to them by the concept of democracy. “In general, as people, there’s a lack of empathy,” he observes. “We found this place that’s so divisive. We just don’t listen to each other anymore. And that’s quite scary.”

That belief prompted Styles to speak out publicly in the wake of George Floyd’s death. As protests in support of Black Lives Matter took to streets all over the world, for Styles, it triggered a period of introspection, as marked by an Instagram message (liked by 2.7 million users and counting) in which he declared: “I do things every day without fear, because I am privileged, and I am privileged every day because I am white. … Being not racist is not enough, we must be anti racist. Social change is enacted when a society mobilizes. I stand in solidarity with all of those protesting. I’m donating to help post bail for arrested organizers. Look inwards, educate yourself and others. LISTEN, READ, SHARE, DONATE and VOTE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

“Talking about race can be really uncomfortable for everyone,” Styles elaborates. “I had a realization that my own comfort in the conversation has nothing to do with the problem — like that’s not enough of a reason to not have a conversation. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve been outspoken enough in the past. Using that feeling has pushed me forward to being open and ready to learn. … How can I ensure from my side that in 20 years, the right things are still being done and the right people are getting the right opportunities? That it’s not a passing thing?”

His own record company — and corporate parent Sony Music Group, whose chairman, Rob Stringer, signed Styles in 2016 — has been grappling with these same questions as the industry has faced its own reckoning with race. At issue: inequality among the upper ranks (an oft-cited statistic: popular music is 80% Black, but the music business is 80% white); contracts rooted in a decades-old system that many say is set up to take advantage of artists, Black artists more unfairly than white; and the call for a return of master rights, an ownership model that is at the core of the business.

Styles acknowledges the fundamental imbalance in how a major label deal is structured — the record company takes on the financial risk while the artist is made to recoup money spent on the project before the act is considered profitable and earning royalties (typically at a 15% to 18% rate for the artist, while the label keeps and disburses the rest). “Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music,” he says. “There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change.”

By all accounts, Styles is a voracious reader, a movie lover and an aesthete. He stays in shape by adhering to a strict daily exercise routine. “I tried to keep up but didn’t last more than two weeks,” says Hull, Styles’ producer, with a laugh. “The discipline is terrifying.”

Of course, with the fashion world beckoning — Styles recently appeared in a film series for Gucci’s new collection that was co-directed by the fashion house’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and Oscar winner Gus Van Sant — and a movie that’s set in the 1950s, maintaining that physique is part of the job. And he’s no stranger to visual continuity after appearing in Christopher Nolan’s epic “Dunkirk” and having to return to set for reshoots; his hair, which needed to be cut back to its circa 1940 form, is a constant topic of conversation among fans. This time, it’s the ink that poses a challenge. By Styles’ tally, he’s up to 60 tattoos, which require an hour in the makeup chair to cover up. “It’s the only time I really regret getting tattooed,” he says.

He shows no regret, however, when it comes to stylistic choices overall, and takes pride in his gender-agnostic portfolio, which includes wearing a Gucci dress on that Vogue cover— an image that incited conservative pundit Candace Owens to plead publicly to “bring back manly men.” In Styles’ view: “To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

But acclaim, if you can believe it, is not top of mind for Styles. As far as the Grammys are concerned, Styles shrugs, “It’s never why I do anything.” His team and longtime label, however, had their hearts set on a showing at the Jan. 31 ceremony. Their investment in Styles has been substantial — not just monetarily but in carefully crafting his career in the wake of such icons as David Bowie, who released his final albums with the label. Hope at the company and in many fans’ hearts that Styles would receive an album of the year nomination did not come to pass. However, he was recognized in three categories, including best pop vocal album.

“It’s always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff,” Styles says. “I think it’s important when making any kind of art to remove the ego from it.” Citing the painter Matisse, he adds: “It’s about the work that you do when you’re not expecting any applause.”

Harry for Variety. (2 December 2020)

[beclynn-herondale]

In Another Universe: Chapter 9 - The Greenhouse part 1

He wasn't sure if he had screamed, if he had it would have been again for the hundredth time tonight. The motorcycle was flying, it felt like a rollercoaster almost, it also caused that weird feeling you get in your stomach when you ride one. He looked back at the roof and saw the vampires and werewolves. And looked away honestly if he ever saw that place again it would be way too soon. Jayce was screaming in delight. Clar tightened his arms around her. "My mother told me that if I ever rode a motorcycle with someone, she'd kill me." he called over the sound of the the wind and bike. "Not if she knew me," she called back with confidence. "I am excellent at driving." Clar remembered something suddenly. "Hey, I thought Alec said only some of these could fly?" "Only some can!" "So how did you know this one could?". "I had no idea if it could!" she shouted happily, she did something that the bike ride in the air.

"Look down!" she shouted. "It's so amazing!" Curiousity making him want to, even though he was still terrified, he looked down. They were a lot higher than he had originally thought. They were flying over the city, it was beautiful, in a terrifying way. Jayce tunred the bike towards the brooklyn bridge. "You okay?" she shouted. He didn't say anything, held on more tightly. He felt nauseous all of a sudden and was reminded of how high they were and how they could fall so far down, he shut his eyes. "Clar?" she yelled again. "Are you ok, Clar? He shook his head. Something scratched at him, he ignored it until it scratched again. He opened his eyes slightly, and saw it was Simone, her head out of Clar's jacket, tugging at it. "It's okay, Simone." he said, not wanting to look down. "It was just the bridge—" But she scratched him again, pointing her paw towards the waterfront, rising up on their left. Still dizzy he looked up and saw sunrise. "Yes, it's very pretty," he said, shutting his eyes again. "It's a beautiful sunrise.' Jayce went rigid. "Sunrise?" she yelled, and jerked the bike towards the waterline. Clar leaned as closely as he could without squashing Simone. "What's wrong with the sunrise?" "I told you back on the roof! These bikes run on demon energies!"

She pulled the bike on level with the river. Water splashed them. "When the sun comes up— The bike started to sputter. Jayce said a colorful amount of swear words, and slammed her hand into the accelerator. It lunged forward, jerked under them. Jayce was still swearing, one time in what sounded like french. Clar saw every rock and pebble that was under them as they cleared past the river and over the narrow bank. Below them was the highway, full of early morning traffic.

They barely cleared it, beyond was a parking lot. "Hold on tight, Clar, don't let—" The bike struck the asphalt of the parking lot, the front wheel hitting first. Then it struck a concrete barrier with a terrible force that it lifted him off the bike and threw him sideways, his grip breaking from Jayce. He curled up into a protective ball, hoping Simone wouldn't be crushed. He hit the ground hard, pain shooting up his arm. He flipped over onto his back, the wind knocked out of him. He reached for his pocket, but it was empty. He tried to call for Simone but the his breath was knocked out of him, He wheezed.

His entire body hurt, he rolled over. Dawn had come, he saw the remains of the bike turning into ash as the suns rays shined on it. And there was Jayce, getting to her feet painfully, she hurried to him, and slowed down a little when she got closer. Her jacket sleeve was torn and she had a long graze her arm that was bleeding. Her face was pale under her golden curls, that were now dirty from the events of last night. He wondered why she looked so pale and shocked. Was his leg was torn off, lying across the parking lot with a pool of blood?

He started to get up when there was a hand in his shoulder. "Clar?". "Simone!" She was kneeling down beside him, looking a little dirty and crumpled, her glasses were gone but she appeared to be unharmed otherwise. She reached out and touched his face. "Ow!". "Are you alright? You look good," she said, with a catch to her voice. "The most amazing thing that I've—". "That's because your glasses are gone," he said weakly, but Simone didn't give a smart response back, instead she threw her arms around him, holding him tightly. She was alright he thought, she's alright. "Clar," she said. "I didn't—i didn't think you—". "Come for you? Of course I did," he said. "Of course did." he said and put his arms around her. He stroked her back reassuringly.

He glanced back at Jayce for a moment, she was turning away as if the sun hurt her eyes, he wondered why.

——————

Joan was leaning against a wall in the training room that was in this dimension place, flipping a knife back and forth, she was very good with knives now. Her father wanted to talk with her, she may be more connected with her demon blood now, but that didn't change the fact she still hated the man's guts. She thought his goals were boring and that he was your typical villian, he didn't have any ideals that surprised her. Not to mention a shitty father, and sounds like he was a shitty husband.

"Still having trouble with your anger, I have heard," said Valentine. "Still having trouble finding a Cup, I have heard" she replied. He looked furious for a moment but composed himself. She loved how she could get under his skin. "All in good time," he said. "Yeh? And how much time is that?" "Very soon." She looked at him. "Are you sure it's soon enough?" He smiled a devilish grin. "Yes." She didn't like the grin, there was something he wasn't telling her. "Jonathena," he said. "Yes?" "You have completed much if your training, faster than I had thought," he said. "Soon enough we will be in Idris, and with we'll have your mother, brother, and Jayce." He took a minute before he spoke again. "I have been thinking, if Lucian does decide to make a move, and if he does somehow succeed in getting in my way, I'll need you to play spy for me. Clar will trust you, and believe you. I don't think things will go wrong but I want a backup plan." She was slightly more intrigued now. "Whatever, not like I have a choice in the matter." He stared at her. "Things will not be so boring soon enough, my daughter."

Yeah, soon enough you'll have an angel cup and some sword and be attacking god knows what. She just wanted Clar and her mom, make sure they are safe and do whatever she needed to do to keep them safe. This Jayce did intrigue her though. Valentine seemed to speak slightly softer about her.

She went back to training with Alan, learning how to take on ten people at once. Lilith had some kind of way to strengthen her demon blood, Joan had no idea how, but with Greater Demons you never really knew, she supposed.

——————

Hodge was enraged when they got back, Alec and Isidore in the back lurking behind him. When Clar and the girls came in limping, covered in blood and filthy, he had instantly gone into a lecture that would have made Clar's mom very proud. He also didn't forget the part of how they had lied about where they had gone to—Which apparently Jayce had or the part about never trusting Jayce again. Also bits about breaking the law and being thrown out of the clave, and bringing shame onto the Wayland name. After he calmed down slightly, he looked at Jayce with a glare. "You've endangered other people people with your actions. This time I will not let you shrug it off!" "I wasn't planning on it," said Jayce. "It's kinda hard to shurg anything off at the moment. My shoulder is dislocated." "If only physical pain was actually a deterrence for you," said Hodge furious. "But you'll just spend the next few days in the infirmary with Isidore and Alec caring to your every need. And you'll probably very much enjoy it."

Hodge had been partly right. Jayce and Simone had both ended up in the infirmary, but only Isidore was running around caring for their every need when Clar — who'd gone to clean up — came back a few hours later. Hodge had tended to the bruise on his arm, and almost half an hour in the shower gotten the asphalt that was stuck in his skin out. But he still ached all over. Alec was sitting on the windowsill and looking irritated, angry, maybe almost even sad all at the same time, scowled as the door shut behind him. "Oh. It's you." He ignored Alec. "Hodge says he's on his way and hopes you two can hang onto your slowly fading life forms until he is here," or something of that variation." "I do hope he hurries," said Jayce crossly, she was sitting up in one of the infirmary beds, still in her filthy clothes, the lace top she had worn to the party torn in some places, though he assumed Shadowhunters were used to ruining clothes. "Why? Are you in pain?" he asked. "Nope. I have a very high pain tolerance. But I do get very easily bored." she narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you remember how back in the hotel you promised that if we survived, you'd dress up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?". "I think you misheard that," said Clar. "It was Simone who promised you that." Jayce looked over involuntarily to Simone, who gave her a wide smile. "As soon as I'm back to good health, beautiful." "I knew we should have left as a rat," said Jayce.

Clar laughed as he went over to Simone, who seemed uncomfortable surrounded by the many pillows Isidore had gotten for her. He sat down on the edge of her bed. "How do you feel?" "Like someone tried to grate me into cheese," she said, wincing as she moved her legs. "I broke a foot bone. It had swelled so much, Isidore had to cut my shoe off." "Glad he's taking such good care of you," he said with a little bit of acid in his tone. Simone leaned forward. "I want to have a talk with you." Clar nodded. "I'll be in my room. Come see me once Hodge gets you all fixed up, k?" "Yup." surprising him she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. It was a butterfly kiss, but as he pulled away, he knew he had blushed, probably, standing up, because everyone was staring at them.

On his way out to the hallway he touched his cheek, a kiss on the cheek didn't mean much of anything, but it was odd for Simone. Was she trying to make a point to someone? Clar never would understand the whole making someone else jealous thing that people did. And then there was Jayce, doing her wounded princess act.

"Clar!" He turned and to his surprise, there was Alec coming down the hall after him. They both stopped once she caught up to him. "I need to speak with you." Surprised again, he asked. "About what?" She hesitated for a moment. With her pale ivory skin she looked almost as striking as her brother, but unlike Isidore she did anything she could to downplay her looks and not be seen, her frayed sweaters and her bangs and blunt cut of her hair that fell over her shoulders that looked as if she cut it herself in the dark, was only part of it, she looked seriously uncomfortable in her own skin. "I think you should go. Go home, I mean," she said. He knew that Alec didn't like him but it still felt like she had slapped him. "Alec, I can't go home, it has forsaken and demons crawling around it, believe me nobody wants to go home more than me but i—" "You must have family somewhere that could take you in?" he thought she sounded desperate. "I don't have any family, and Hodge wants me to stay here," he said shortly.

"He can't possibly actually after everything you've done—" "Everything I've done?" "You almost got Jayce killed." "I almost— what are you talking about?" "Going after your friend like that—do you even know the danger you put her in? Do you know that—" "Her? Do you mean Jayce?" he cut her off.  "Just so you know it was all her idea. She asked Magna where to find the vampire. She went to that church to get weapons. If I didn't go with her, she would have gone without me.". "By the angel, you don't understand," said Alec. "You don't know her like I do. I know her. She thinks she has to save the world, and she would gladly die doing it. hell I think she wants to die, but that doesn't mean you need to help her along to do it." "I really don't understand you people," he said. "Jayce is a Shadowhunter. This is your job, you help and save people, you kill demons and put yourself in danger everyday. How is it that last night was different from any other time?"

He saw her self control break. "Because I wasn't there!" she yelled. "Usually I am there, covering her back, making sure no harm come to her, keeping her safe. But you are just a burden, a mundane." she said the word like it tasted bitter in her mouth. "No, that's where you're wrong," he said. "I am a Nephilim, just like you." Her mouth curled up. "Perhaps," she said. "But with no training whatsoever, nothing at all, you're not much use, are you? Your mother raised you mundane, raised you in a world where you didn't have to know about the evil and darkness, and that's where you belong. Not her making Jayce act like someone she isn't, like she isn't a Shadowhunter. Making her break her oath. Making her break the law and not care—"

"Here's a news flash," he snapped at her. "I don't make Jayce do anything. Jayce does what she wants. You should know that." She looked at him with disgust. "I always forget, that you mundanes are totally selfish, isn't that right? You don't care about all that she's done for you, what she has risked? This isn't just about her safety and almost getting killed. She could be kicked out of the Clave. She lost her father and mother already, do you want her to lose the only other family she has?"

Rage rose in Clar. Rage against Alec, for being a little right. rage against his mother for not telling him about what the world really was and what he really was, for not telling Joan as well, for bit preparing them for all of this, and being some angel warrior who Clar didn't know, someone she needed so desperately right now but was not there. Rage against the fact that his father had died before he was born. Against Simone for almost getting herself killed and doing dangerous things. Rage against Jayce for not caring about whether she lived it died. Against Luke for not being there.

"You're one to talk about being selfish," he hissed viciously and Alec took a step back. "You don't about anyone in this world but yourself, Alec Lightwood. No wonder you've never even killed a single demon, because you're so afraid." Alec looked stunned, as if he had slapped her. "Who— who told you that?" "Jayce did." She looked again as if she had been slapped. "She wouldn't have. She would never say that." "Well, she did. You can go on and on about honor and honestly and all that but we both know if you were really honest, you would admit this is all because you're in love with her. It doesn't actually have anything to do—" He hit hard against the wall, felt his head hit against it hard. Alec had thrown him against it, she was taller than him and had her Shadowhunter training. Alec with her face inches from his now. "Don't you dare," she whispered with rage. "Say anything like that ever again or I'll kill you. I swear I will." It hurt where she gripped his arms. She let go, pulling back quickly. She looked horrified, like she couldn't believe she had just done that. She spyn around with no words, and stumbled towards the infirmary like she was drunk. "Great, Clar" he thought now she definitely hates you.

——————

He should have gone to sleep, passed out with exhaustion, but sleep wouldn't come. So instead he pulled his sketchpad out of his backpack, he started to draw scribbles at first, he drew the hotel, empty streets with dim lampposts, a shadowy figure at the end of the lamppost. Raphaela all covered in blood. He drew Jayce on top of the roof of the hotel, ten stories high, as if the fall was more a challenge, as if she was invincible. Like in the the dreams he had, he drew her with wings like the ones on the statue on the bone city.

He drew Joan, him and Simone, as kids at Luke's farm sitting in a pile of leaves. Lastly, he tried to draw his mom. He had told Jayce that there was really no difference after he read the gray book, it was mostly true. But now when he thought back to the memories of his mom, he saw the scars that lined her shoulders like snowflakes.

It hurt knowing that it was all a lie. Everything about his childhood and mother was a lie. he slid his sketchpad under his pillow know, feeling more exhausted. A soft tap on his door knocked him out of his thoughts. "Come in." Simone came in, she was still her dirty clothes and looked rumpled. He scooted sideways, so she could be on the other side of the bed with him. Lying a bed with Simone was never odd, they grew up Sleeping over at each other's houses, building blanket forts with the help of Joan, she always helped them build it right so it wouldn't fall down on them. When she had learned how to read, she read to them to get them to sleep on those nights. When Clar and Simone were older they stayed up reading comics and manga.

"You found your glasses," he said. noticing a lens was cracked slightly. "They faired pretty well considering they were in my pocket. I'll have to write a nice not to my eye doctor." She sat down by him slowly. "So Hodge fixed you up?" She nodded. "I still feel terrible though." She looked at him very seriously, her brown eyes fixed on him. "Clar, the fact that you came to save me—that you risked all that—" He held up his hand. "No need," he said. "You'd do the same for me." "Well, of course," she said. "I just always thought that was the way with us. You know." He looked at her puzzled. "What?"

"What I mean is," she seemed surprised it wasn't obvious. "I have always needed you more than you needed me." "That isn't true," Clar said appalled. "But, it is," she said calmly, it was unnerving. "You have never really needed anyone, you've been so I independent, so. . . Contained in your own world inside your head. All you've ever really needed was your pencild, chalk, and imaginary worlds. Sometimes I would say the same thing over and over to you before you'd come back to reality and realize it. And you'd give silly smile you always did. And I knew you had forgotten about the real world, about me, but I was never upset. A little of your attention is better than anyone else's entire attention." He reached out for her hand but instead got her wrist. "In my life, I have only loved four people," he said. "My mom and Luke, Joan, and you. I have lost mom and Luke, and Joan, but not you. Don't you ever imagine that you don't mean enough to me, don't ever think that."

"My mom always says you only need three people for self-actualization," said Simone, voice light but it cracked slightly. "She says you seem pretty self-actualized." Clar smiled. "Does your mom have any other words of wisdom about me?" She gave him a crooked smile. "Yeah," she said. "But i'll never tell." "No fair.". "Life is not fair, Clarus," she said, jokingly. But there was a slight truth to that statement.

——————

Jayce was avoiding Alec and Iz cause they were both trying to pick an argument with her, and Alec would give Jayce one of her usual speeches about responsibility and caring about yourself. She wasn't really in the mood for any of that. So she went off to take a shower and finally after what felt like forever was clean, she threw on a pair of jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. Hodge had reminded her it was Clar's birthday, well almost. So she snuck food from the kitchen and decided she would bring him to the greenhouse to show him the midnight flowers, they were one of the most beautiful things Jayce has ever seen, she couldn't quite describe how beautiful they are.

She remembered the first time she had seen them, the glow of them, all the colors they radiated.  How when you saw them it was like time had stopped for just a moment. Jayce loved plants and even though many people would call it cliche for a girl to love flowers so much she didn't care, Jayce loved plants for their beauty.

She came up upon Clar's door, she held the paper bag that had the food in it behind her back. She knocked gently, he opened the door. There he was in jogger pants and a t-shirt, she looked at the freckles on the pale skin of his face and arms that she secretly thought were cute. He gave her a look up and then down.

"I didn't wake you up did I?" she asked curiously. "No," he said, stepping out into the hallway. "What makes you think that." "No reason." "I layed in bed almost a day," he said. "Aren't you tired though?" "Nope," she said. "Shadowhunters are always hard at work, almost no rest." "Uh huh," he said. "So why are you here, anyway?"

"Do you mean as in at your bedroom door or why am I here on earth, in this time. Do you mean what is my purpose here and what great things will I achieve?" He gave her that usual look he did, the one that said I know you're half joking and I am slightly amused but also slightly annoyed. She knew that look well, Alec gave her similar look at times, but Clar's was different in a way, it for one of the first times since she could remember left her not able to describe it exactly, like he could see through to why she was this way. "Imma go back to bed," he said.

He reached for the doorknob but she slid in front of him. "I am here," she said. "Because Hodge reminded me it's your birthday." He gave a sigh. "It's tomorrow, actually." "Why not start celebrating early," she said, and gave him a grin. He eyed her. "You're avoiding Isidore and Alec, aren't you?" She gave him a nod. "You caught me," she said, and added in a more serious tone. "They are trying to pick fights with me, and I am simply not in the mood." "Do they both have the same reason?' "I don't know." she glanced down the hall, as if she were trying to avoid eye contact with him. "Hodge, as well. Almost everyone wants to talk to me. But not you I suppose. I bet you don't want to talk." "You're right," he said, and for a moment he thought she might walk away, but he continued. "I want food, I am hungry."

She brought up the bag from behind her. "I sneaked food when Hodge wasn't paying attention." He grinned at her. "A picnic? Isn't it late for that? Isn't central park—" "Full of faeries. Yes, yes it is." "I was going to say muggers, actually," he said. "Though I pity the fool who would try and mug you.". "Ah, very wise of you, I commend for it," she said. "But I didn't mean central park. I was thinking the greenhouse." "Won't it be dark? It's night—" She smiled at him. "Come, I'll show you."

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @spotsandclawsthings @megs-readstoomuch @replayfootsteps @magnus-the-maqnificent @simply-ellas-stuff @my-archerboy @jazzkaurtheglorious @bookfast-at-tiffanys

[theroomofreq]

Personality Before Punctuality: Chapter 2

James Potter plays in a band but spends his mornings in the bakery chatting up Lily Evans. Lily spends her week days selling pastries, but on weekends she goes to see James play guitar. 

The second part to my meet cute muggle au! 

Read on AO3

Lily flung open the door to The Hallows, her bag knocked on the door frame as her quick pace carried her into the bakery. 9:07, Okay not terribly late, she could work with that. Her morning walk had little to no distractions and after yesterday she figured she had better be more timely than usual. Lily blew her bangs out of her face as she looked up to find one of the primary bakers, Simon, engaged with a customer.

Yikes, Simon hated customers. Lily increased her pace as she made her way around the counter, her bag dropping un-ceremonially to the floor. She chanced an apologetic look at Simon before turning to the customer in front of her.

“Evans, have you tried this treacle tart?!”

James Potter had a mouthful of tart and a goofy grin that came with his question. 

Lily’s eyes roamed down his figure wondering how she had missed him. The first detail to notice was his hat, Potter had a large black bucket hat that fit snuggly on his head, the strap and buckle pulled tightly across his sharp jaw line. Apparently black was his theme today, as his long-sleeved shirt and trousers match his hat color.

 “Of course, Potter” Lily couldn’t hold back her grin as he shoveled another bite into his mouth “This week is especially good because Simon here made it. He always makes the best pastry crust” Lily placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder and hoped her honest compliment would get her out of being late this morning.

“Flattery will not excuse the tardiness Lily, but it doesn’t stop you from being my favorite” Simon gave her a small smile, which Lily counted as a win. “Wonderful to meet you James” 

“Likewise” Potter replied as Simon walked back into the kitchen. 

 Potter leaned up against the display case crossing his arms as he smirked down toward Lily. “I’m glad I caught you again.”

“At the bakery where I work? Yes, you’re very lucky to find me here.” She couldn’t hold back the sarcasm that dripped out of her mouth.

The way James rolled his eyes had an affectionate feel, “Oh come on, you know what I mean Evans. I didn’t know your schedule at all, this was really all I had.”

“So, what was your plan?” Lily said, her eyebrows quirked up, “Show up here every morning until I finally came in to work?”

James seemed to startle as he stood up from his relaxed position, his eyes went downcast as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well yeah, actually that was the idea…” His eyes turned up at Lily with a bashful look.

The way his eyes locked on her resulted in Lily biting down on her lip as her cheeks flushed. Before she could reply the door chimed as another customer walked into the shop. James began to back away from the register and Lily, as his eyes wandered around the bakery.

“The table to your left has the best chairs” Lily mentioned, hoping that her invitation to stay would come across.

Potter’s eyes lit up as he made his way to where Lily suggested, walking backward toward the table with a lazy gate that had Lily captivated the whole time. Perhaps it was the way he rubbed his hands together or how held her gaze the entire time, regardless Lily loved what an all-black look did for James Potter.  

Regrettably, Lily tore her eyes away from him and back to the latest customer to enter The Hallows.

 ----

As a Wednesday morning, the bakery wasn’t terribly busy, but there was a steady stream of people who came in to buy pastries. She knew most everyone that came in, as she had a good grasp on who the regulars were and what they would buy. Often, she found herself sending glances toward James, who sat alone at his table writing away in a notebook he had pulled from his back pocket. 

She was grateful he had chosen to sit with his back to the front door, he was less likely to be noticed this way, especially because his stag tattoo was facing the wall not the open shop. Well that, and the obvious fact that she had a brilliant view of him as he focused on his writing, rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, or even shot glances at Lily.

There was something about James Potter that made her believe that he did everything at 100%. Maybe it was the way his eyes lit up as he scrawled across the page, never stopping for a moment as rotated his book to add notes or circle a word. It could’ve been the way that she caught him looking at her, his deep eyes latching on to her movements as she did her job. Whenever she caught him staring (which was very often) he didn’t ever look away, his smile just got brighter as he winked or waved in her direction. It might’ve even been the way he kept coming up and buying more sweets.

Yes, it was definitely the sweets. He seemed hell bent on trying every item available at the bakery. The fifth time he sauntered up to the register Lily rolled her eyes, “You’re going to make yourself sick Potter”

“Probably, but I just can’t help myself around sweet things.” James said as he quite obviously looked Lily up and down with a smirk. “Meaning…”

“Potter. I know” Lily interrupted. “I know what you mean. You’ve been gawking at me for hours; you are anything but subtle.”

“You’re one to talk red” James said, propping his elbow up on the counter, “I’ve caught you sending eyes my way many a time as well.” He rested his chin on his hand while winking at Lily. 

“Right. I’m fit, you’re fit. Good to know we are on the same page here. Now get back to your table, my break is in an hour.”

“Anything for you love.”

---

“Do you work at all the rest of the week?” James asked her between bites of bread.

“Tomorrow evening and Sunday” Lily told him.

She ripped off another chunk of bread from the loaf they were sharing. Lily decided to spend her break sitting with James as he reviewed his favorite sweets and asked her about her schedule. 

“Brill, I uh, wanted to ask if you would come to my show on Friday night” The smile he tacked on at the end was hopeful.

“I didn’t know you had a show this week? I haven’t heard anything about it- where are you playing?”

“Oh well, yes, it is a bit of a secret. Sirius’ idea really” He gestured with his hands in an attempt to explain. “Our lead singer, my best mate he’s got a real flair for the dramatic that one. He convinced us to play at one of the places that first gave us a shot. Something about taking care of the little guys and standing up to the man. We are all pretty passionate about it now”

“Yeah, alright I’d love to.”

“Yeah, okay great actually, that’s excellent!” James gave her a megawatt grin. He looked down toward his notebook again and began rapidly flipping through the pages. Finally, he stopped on a page and ripped it out before passing it across the table towards Lily.

The note seemed distinctly James and Lily wasn’t really sure what that meant, she didn’t really even know this man all that well, but the page felt like James Potter. In the middle of the page was a hand drawn logo of a bar, The Hogs Head, with a large arrow that pointed to the time he would be playing. The time was circled multiple times with a small note that said, “Be punctual Evans”.

Across the top of the page was her name, written in a cursive script that was far prettier than she had ever penned her own name in. Lily’s eyes lingered a long time around her name and the drawing right beside it. James had drawn a small portrait of Lily laughing, her nose was scrunched close to her eyes which seemed brighter than usual. It was incredible what he had drawn of her with a simple black marker, the lines on her face and her freckles were expertly drawn, Lily’s breath caught as she looked up at James. He was staring intensely at her through his dark eye lashes, slowly his lips pulled to the side in a very signature smirk that Lily simply couldn’t handle looking at for too long. 

Lily shook her head trying to throw out that smirk, she knew she was in deep trouble when she had to pinch her leg before responding to James, “I didn’t know you were such an artist.”

“Nah, ‘m not. The gorgeous things in life end up drawing themselves” Potter spent a long time searching her flushed face before continuing, “I actually have to run to sound checks now, but trust me, I can’t wait to see you Friday.”

He reached across the table and gave her hand a tight squeeze before standing and walking out the door. Lily watched him go wondering how the way he had touched her so briefly had turned her legs to jelly. 

 ----

“Damn Lils, that Potter bloke won’t even know what a guitar is much less be able to play one once he sees you.”

Lily flashed a smile into the mirror towards her best friend, “You don’t think it’s too much do you?” 

“Absolutely not, we didn’t spend 2 hours trying on outfits for you to start second guessing how hot you are” Marlene let out a low whistle to prove her point.

Lily swatted at her flatmate, it did not take her that long to get ready- but even if it did, it was worth it. She’d decided to wear favorite black crop top which rested just above the smallest sliver of skin before her skirt pulled tightly across her figure hitting just about mid-thigh. Her favorite sheer tights matched her black Doc Martens perfectly and to top it all off she’d left her hair loose, Lily guessed Marlene was right, she was pretty damn hot.

Lily looked in the mirror one last time, she was ready to blow James Potter away.

---

Marlene pushed open the doors to the small venue, the outside made it look small, but it was actually pretty large on the inside. The lights were dimmed, and the crowds filled the room with a low roar, the place had an air of grunge to it. Lily glanced down at her watch, she and Marlene had showed up at the exact time Potter had written down for her, but there was no one on the small make-shift stage.

“Looks like that Potter bloke has you pegged already,” Marlene laughed as she pointed to a sign to the left of the stage.

“The Marauders” the messy scrawl on the sign read, “Tonight at 8”

It was 7:30. Potter must’ve given her an earlier time to make sure she wouldn’t be late. Lily rolled her eyes at her best friend, if James really knew her, he would know she wouldn’t dare to be late to see him. 

When The Marauders walked on stage Lily’s eyes locked on James, she felt a twinge of annoyance as he sauntered out waving at the crowd. It wasn’t entirely fair for someone to be that good looking, his white long sleeve contrasted perfectly with his black bottoms and shoes. As he stepped up to his mic he pushed up the sleeve on his right arm before resting it across the strings of his guitar.

 Honestly, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the rest of the band, the guitarist was just too mesmerizing. Was she obsessed with him? Probably. Was her heart rate going through the roof for reasons other than seeing a really good band? Definitely. Was she going to spend the rest of her night shamelessly staring at James Potter? Absolutely.

 As Lily came to terms with how quickly this man had taken over her thoughts the past few days, James turned around to walk to the back of the stage. The sandy-haired drummer was talking animatedly with the shaggy haired singer, for some reason Lily couldn’t quite remember their names. Potter threw his arm over the singer taking a moment to nod at the flustered drummer before pulling away a now red-faced front man. Potter gave his friend a final shove toward the forward microphone and the set list began.

There’s something about seeing a band play live that is exciting, the energy from the crowd is thrilling, the band going all out while playing, and the way your emotions come in waves. But, seeing a band that you love? Exhilarating. The long lead up before the song begins, singing along to your favorite song, the vibe of hearing a chorus live for the first time, all of it is magic. 

Lily was convinced that none of these feelings held a candle to seeing James Potter play. His entire body thrummed with the music, it wasn’t just his foot keeping pace, but his whole body moving as he played. The guitarist was emotionally involved in every note he played, the way his eyes followed his fingers, and how he strummed the chords perfectly in time. The smirk on his face was absolutely startling when he came in with a powerful riff or ran through a difficult set of chords. Lily decided that watching James perform was enthralling. 

As The Marauders lead singer said their goodbyes Lily finally remembered his name, Sirius Black, it wasn’t that hard to remember now that she wasn’t distracted by Potter’s arse. The moment Sirius waved goodnight, Potter placed his guitar on his stand and jumped off the front of the stage. 

Lily watched him weave through the crowd as he was stopped by many individuals for a photo or signature. Her attention was pulled from Potter as Marlene placed a hand on her arm.  

“Lils, are you okay if I head out now?” Marlene asked the question timidly, “I promised Dorcas I would stop by after the show.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t know you were seeing her again?” Lily was surprised her friend had kept the news from her, she was usually so open about her latest relationships

“It’s new and I don’t know,” Marlene shrugged, “I didn’t want to jinx it or anything.” 

Lily shook her head at her outgoing friend now turned shy at the thought of Dorcas. “Get going then, I’m sure she is waiting for you.” 

“Thanks Lils,” Marlene said as she pulled the redhead in for a hug, “Maybe we will both get a bit lucky tonight.” 

Ahh, there was her friend. Marlene practically ran out the front doors toward her new girlfriend. Lily turned her eyes back to the crowd searching for Potter, before she could locate him someone stepped right in front of her path blocking her view. 

“You’ve created a lot of grief for me Evans.” Sirius Black stood cooly in front of Lily, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked evenly at her. 

“And what would that be Black?” Lily crossed her arms challenging whatever Black was about to go on about. 

“You’ve driven this fool out of his mind the last few days” Black jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward Potter who walked up next to him. “All I’ve heard the last bit is all about Lily Evans, how witty and gorgeous you are. It is enough to turn me completely mental.” Sirius had a smirk on his face, but Potter looked warily at his friend. 

“I’d be happy to foot the bill for any harm my wit and or beauty has caused you.” 

Potter’s jaw dropped at Lily's quip while Sirius threw his arm around his mate and cackled. “I can see why you’ve been tracing her name every night” Sirius said as he used his other hand to pat James’ chest, “See you at home mate.” 

Sirius untangled himself from a now flustered James and turned to Lily, “Evans, it’s been more of a pleasure than you realize.” With a final wink sent to Lily, Sirius walked off into the crowd. 

“Tracing my name?” Lily posed the question while looking toward his left arm, the sleeve still flush with his wrist, whereas the other sleeve was racked up to his elbow. 

“Well, err,” the flush across his face deepened as James pushed up the sleeve to reveal the arm that Lily had signed a number of days ago. The writing was dark and thick, as if she had written it moments ago. 

“I just really liked the mark you left on me, and I didn’t want to lose it. So I, err, I’ve been tracing it over every night, so it stays with me.” He looked up at her with hopeful eyes. 

“Who knew you were such a softie Potter?” 

“Only around you Evans.” He took a step forward and grabbed her hand, “Thank you for coming, did you have a good time?”

“It was incredible! You were incredible!” Lily felt her face light up as she talked about the concert, “That last song was unreal, I loved where you came in at the end!” 

“Thanks, I wrote the song but it was Remus who came up with that section, he’s the musical genius of the four of us.” 

Potter began leading her towards the exit as he continued on about the song. He held tight to her hand as he walked her out the front doors, his other hand gesturing wildly as he explained the underlying tones of Pete’s keyboard and how it meshed with his chords. 

He stopped just outside of the bar before standing directly in front of her, his smile was reaching across his entire face as he took her in. “Evans you look stunning tonight.” His eyes roamed down her legs before returning to her freckled face. 

“Almost as good as my Hallows apron right?” Lily’s voice came out a bit breathier than usual. 

“Just about” 

James reached out toward her, allowing the crimson locks to run through his fingers as he looked intently at her. Lily struggled to swallow as his eyes ran across her face, his hand tucked her hair behind her shoulder before running down her arm. Shivers ran after his hand until he secured it against her own, pulling her a step closer to his body. 

“Listen, Evans, The boys and I always used to go back to the flat and just hang around after we played here. In the spirit of nostalgia we’re going to be doing it again, and I was hoping you’d come along tonight?” The hopeful smirk was back on his face as he looked down at her. 

“Lead the way Potter.” 

Lily let a smile break across her face as James mirrored her emotion, with a tug on her hand he pulled her alongside him into the night.

[aurora-nerin]

i always see posts about markus flirting with connor and connor never getting it and markus being like "man how more obvious could i get" but like i wanna see more of connor flirting with markus and markus being like "yo is he flirting with me? he likes me back? is he flirting? is he??" but idk if that would work bc markus probably can tell flirting when connor can't ): maybe connor accidental flirting his way into a relationship with markus???

Connor realized he like Markus very early on. Like, probably before even meeting him: the deviant leader looked both imposing and soft in a way that tugged at his heartstrings strangely. 

First, he attributed it to being grateful: Markus was the one who opened his eyes and freed him, after all. Markus was the one who gave their entire kind a future to look forward to. But, by the time Connor realized his liking has gone into full blown hardcore crush, he knew he had a problem: Getting to Markus would not be easy: half of the Androids and lots of humans had some kind of infatuation with him. 

But Connor had never backed down from a challenge and he was not about to start.

The first time he sent Markus flowers, he didnt include the note in them: Which, he later realized, was a mistake: Markus was getting lots of flowers. He’d need to be more direct than that. 

The second time, he brought the flowers in himself.

Markus was in his office. When Connor walked in with a huge bucket Pink Camellias, White Clovers and Gardenias, he was a bit surprised: Granted, he received lots of flowers these days, but they were usually, roses or something. This seemed way more refined and thoughtful. But, who would send Connor of all people to bring them in? 

‘‘For you,’‘ Connor said with a sweet smile, handing them over.

‘‘Oh, they’re beautiful!’‘ Markus beamed, sticking his nose into them. ‘‘Who are they from?’‘

He totally missed the confused frown on Connor’s face. Okay, Connor decided, he’d need to be more direct than this.

The third time was week later, Connor was back to New Jericho, for the weekly meeting but, this time, he was holding a small package, wrapped in a brown paper, tied with a green lace.

‘‘What is that?’‘

‘‘It’s a gift.’‘ Connor smiled. ‘‘For you.’‘

Markus tore off the paper to reveal a beautiful set of artist’s brushes. 

‘‘Connor!’‘ He gasped. ‘‘These are expensive!’‘

Connor shrugged. 

‘‘If you like them, that’s all that matters.’‘ He said.

‘‘I love them, but you should not have bothered this much!’‘

‘‘Well, I don’t know when your birthday is, so figured, any day would do, right?’‘

Markus smiled. 

‘‘I had one picture in my mind and these seem like a good motivation to actually work on it.’‘

‘‘Oh... Could I... Watch? I’d like to see you paint.’‘

That was a strange request. Surely, Connor had better things to do?

‘‘That could take hours, Connor.’‘ Markus chuckled. ‘‘I would not want to waste your time. It’s more boring than you probably think. I’ll promise I’ll show you the painting when it’s done.’‘

‘‘Being with you could never be a waste of time!’‘ Connor said fiercely, ‘‘No matter what we do.’‘

Sadly, the other members of Jericho Board came in before Markus could come up with the answer.

Connor was not going to give up that easy. Maybe he needed to be more direct than this? 

The forth time, he tried to asked Markus out on a date.

‘‘There’s this festival I’d like to go to,’‘ He said the next time he was in Markus’ study. ‘‘This weekend. It’s some hipster thing, with lots of art, music and performances. Would you like to go?’‘

‘‘Sounds very interesting.’‘ Markus replied. He was still looking at the computer terminal at his desk. Connor felt annoyance: WHY did Markus never give him his full attention? No wonder they were getting nowhere! ‘‘I’d love to go. Who else is going?’‘

‘‘Um... No one I guess.’‘ Connor shrugged, blushing a bit. ‘‘Just us.’‘

‘‘Why not? This sounds like something others would enjoy too! I’ll let them know!’‘

Well... There went Connor’s plan to finally get Markus alone.

The fifth time, Connor checked beforehand with Simon that Markus would have no work. He was sick of all the politics getting in his way. 

Markus was surprised when the doorbell rang: He was not expecting anyone. Least of all Connor: out of his police uniform, in casual jeans and leather jacket, Connor really looked beautiful. 

Markus smiled. Connor returned the smile.

‘‘Hope I’m not intruding.’‘ 

‘‘Not at all. Come in.’‘

Markus’ place was  a bit chaotic and full of color. There was so much personality to everything. Connor felt a bit bad at how plain his own apartment was in comparison.

‘‘Simon told me you had a day off.’‘ Connor explained. ‘‘I thought we could spend it together.’‘

‘‘Sure, sounds good.’‘ Markus agreed. 

Connor would not say he was snooping around, but he totally was: looking for something to do, which would distract him from staring at Markus in his sleeveless top and old sweatpants, which were a bit too tight around his ass for Connor’s peace of mind.

‘‘You like chess?’‘ He asked.

‘‘My father, Carl used to play it with me.’‘ Markus said. ‘‘Would you care for a game?’‘

Connor nodded. 

‘‘Don’t go easy on me.’‘ Markus warned, setting up the board.

‘‘Oh, I’d gladly go hard on you.’‘ Connor winked playfully.

Sadly, the remark seemed to go over the stupid Deviant’s head. Connor sighed in desperation.

Due to them both having pre-constructing abilities, the match was even. Connor was sure, if he let Markus win, he would totally be caught on it. 

‘‘Ready to give up yet?’‘ Markus smirked at him, moving the Bishop in a way that clearly put Connor at disadvantage. 

‘‘I’ll never give up on you.’‘ Connor replied with a smile of his own. ‘‘Even though you give me a hard time.’’ and moved a Knight in response.

Markus paused.

‘‘I like when you make that face.’‘ Connor noted.

‘‘What face?’‘

‘‘Pouting. It’s adorable.’‘

‘‘I do not pout.’‘

'’It’s cute.’‘

‘‘I do not!’‘

‘‘Whatever you say.’‘ Connor’s smile was fond.

Markus picked up The Queen and then his hand froze mid air: The look on Connor’s face, all his attempts to make Markus smile, always giving him gifts... It all suddenly started to make sense in a totally unexpected way....

‘‘Connor...’‘ He started, unsure. ‘‘Are you flirting with me?’‘

Connor looked at him like he’d grown a second head. Then he burst out laughing.

‘‘I’ve been trying for two months.’‘ He said when he finally got his breath back. ‘‘But thanks for noticing.’‘

[antoxsmith]

I Put A Spell On You (Part 1)

Warnings - Negan Being Negan, Awkward Reader 

Pairings - Negan x Reader

Summary -  Reader wants Negan to notice her, so she casts a binding spell. Not that she ever thought it would work.

“What the hell do you mean? Like magic? Sorcery? That kinda shit?”

“Hey, don’t be disrespectful!” The woman gave you a stern look over her deep colored eyes, still shifting the violet cards between her fingers. “Sit, child.” She spoke again, but this time it was barely a tranquil murmur. A little skeptical, you bit the insides of your cheek and sat down in front of her improvised reading table.

You had just been scavenging, Simon ordered you to go alone to that little house down the hill, saying you could handle whatever was inside.

He probably didn’t think some woman that claims to read the future and do witchcraft would be it. But anyway; you were bored, this woman claimed she would do it for a can of beans and you were more than curious.

“Oh, I see. You don’t believe just yet.” The odd-looking woman spoke, extending the palm of her hand towards you. Still in doubt, you gave her your left hand. “Oh, honey…” She murmured as soon as she touched you. You quickly frowned.

“What? You just touched me!” You addressed defensively. There was no way she saw something negative that quick.

“Shh! I am trying to concentrate.” She shushed you, closing her eyelids. You sighed, but did as you were told, instead looking over her strange outfit. How did she manage to make it in this world if she was acting like this? She was even wearing a big green turban that was way too loose for her. “Oh, I see. Determined. Dreamy. A bit barbaric and demanding. And an authoritarian. That’s good.” Just then did she look up to you again. “I’d normally ask, but I see your intentions just fine. Tell me about him.”

You frowned nervously; your lips curling, weirded out. “Uhm… W-Who?” You asked. She was right about everything she said about you and it was scary as hell.

“Him. I see a man all over your head. You want him to notice you; don’t you?” She asked, titling her head and maintaining eye contact. You bit your lip, embarrassed, and looked away. “Don’t worry, honey. You are paying for this, remember? So. Tell me about him, sweetie.”

You sighed softly and nodded, remembering the can of beans. “Well, uh- He is admirable. And captivating. He is a natural leader, actually uhm… my leader- my communities’ leader, I mean.” You mumbled, noticing you were starting to trail off. “Also, he is very, very humorous and… well, I guess some people think he is hostile but I think he is just very good at hiding what he feels. Oh! And moralistic too.” You chuckled softly, unaware of your sparkling eyes.

“Mm… I understand. I see.” She looked up to him as if she had just realized something and leaned forward; urging you to do so too. “Do you want him really, really bad?” She asked, making you blush horribly.

“Well… yes. I do.” You nodded with honesty.

“Then close your eyes and just think about him.”

You were a bit skeptical still, but something inside of you told you to do as you were told. After a little uncertainty, you finally did. You thought about Negan, the way he spoke, the way he walked. The little times he would talk to you or command you to do something. You thought about how much to admired him and how much you wanted him to notice you more than just a lieutenant. So locked inside your head that you didn’t hear her weird murmurs in another language.

“…And that’s it, sweetie.”

As you heard her calling for you, you opened your eyes again, weirded out. You didn’t feel different, not at all.

“Uhm… That’s what, exactly?” You asked.

“You’ll see. Negan, right?” She asked and you slowly nodded, trying no to freak out. “Well, that’ll be a can of beans for me.” She chuckled, letting go of your hand.

You frowned, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Alright. But if you just played me, I’ll-“

“I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

You frowned again, crinkling your nose and reaching for your backpack to give her the damn food. You placed it over the table and pinched your nose as you made your way out of that place, not saying another word. It felt weird inside of that place and you just really wanted to get out. Plus, Simon was probably kind of preoccupied by now.

  A few hours later you were finally arriving to The Sanctuary. It was already very dark and you were all covered with blood. After going out of that hill you had encountered a horde and it was kind of hard to get out of it. It made you forget about that strange lady almost completely. Almost.

“Good job everyone. Go change to your rooms and-“ Simon was speaking to your group, when you all heard it. Negan’s whistles. The sound of it made your skin tickle, but you were reminded about reality when everyone around you kneeled as the loud and heavy footsteps aproached. You quickly did the same and fixed your gaze on the ground beneath you.

“Simon! There you are. The man of the hour!” Negan’s rough voice echoed inside of you and made you bite your lip. His aura wasn’t something anyone could ignore. “Why the hell are a bunch of my men covered in guts and blood, Simon? Aren’t you supposed to take care of them?” He asked. You didn’t dare to look up, just knowing he was getting on Simon’s face. “Also; I remember you went out to scavenge. And scavenge you did fucking not. What is this shit? A few cans of… whatever is this shit?” He asked, raising his voice.

“We couldn’t find more, boss-“ Simon tried to answer. As you heard a loud thud, some of you found the courage to look up, scared to see Simon’s head rolling. It wasn’t. It was just Lucille smacking against the wall. Negan chuckled, noticing the horror on some of your faces.

“I expect more from my best men…” He said, reading over everyone’s faces on the ground. You felt your breath and your pulse getting quicker. As his eyes found yours, he furrowed his brows, something switching inside of him. “…and women.” He mentioned, not leaving your eyes for a few seconds.

You gulped, trying to keep a neutral look on your face as you looked back down to the ground. That… that was weird. Why did he look at you like that? Like he…

Like he noticed you?

Everything was blocked now. Only did you come back to reality when you felt everyone around you getting up from the ground. As if in trance, you did the same.

It couldn’t be, right? It was probably just a mere coincidence. Also, it was just a look. You couldn’t get so nervous and aroused from a simple look. Talk about overreacting.

As you were about to turn on the hallway, you felt a hand closing around your wrist softly. In anxiety and with everything still inside your head, you quickly snapped and threw a punch to anyone who was touching you.

“Oh! Oh God- Boss, I am sorry-“ You started saying, thankful that no one was around to see how you just punched Negan’s nose, the dark hallway way too silent and dark for that. You almost couldn’t make out it was Negan… well, only if you hadn’t spent hours studying him. He quickly put the palm of his hand up, telling you to shut the fuck up; as his other hand covered his face and rubbed the area. Of course, you were too stupid to do as you were told. “I swear I didn’t mean to- Please, please don’t Lucille me; I have too much to live yet!” You claimed.

Just as this couldn’t get worse, Negan’s hand lowered and the look of hurt quickly faded; instead, being replaced by amusement and… laughter?

Was he really making fun of you right now?

“Please don’t Lucille me? “He imitated your voice with a high pitch. “What’s that, honey?” He started laughing out loud. You bit your lip, trying not to feel worse. Instead, his laughter giving you time to notice him. Notice his beautiful eyes, his dimples, and how fucking close he was. Even as he was mocking you, he made you feel… grand. Better. Not to mention he just called you honey.

“I’m sorry.” You said again and pouted softly. “Does it hurt?” You asked, your hands uncontrollably going up to his face. He seemed like he wanted to back away from your touch, his laughter quickly coming to an end. But he didn’t. He stayed there.

“You’ve got a great fist.” He smiled softly down to you, somehow enjoying the way your eyes scouted his skin concernedly. Had been a while.

Yeah, a long, long while since someone had looked at him like they truly, deeply cared.

She noticed what she was doing and awkwardly put her hands away from his tough skin. “So… you won’t Lucille me?” You asked, teasing him. It didn’t fail to make him giggle like a kid.

“What is that anyway?” He titled his head, your hands finally leaving his face.

“Well… you know. When you bash people’s heads in?” She mumbled, looking down a bit nervous. “Some people call it that. But don’t worry. We still fear you.”

“You fear me?” He raised an eyebrow, a cocky tone making its way and clicking his tongue. He leaned on the wall and looked down to you as if you were some kind of snack. And you were still covered in blood.

“Uhm... No? Nope. I don’t think so.” You looked up to him through your lashes. “Uhm… boss?” You asked, even though you already had his full attention.

“Yes?” He asked, licking his lips.

“I- Eh, I should go take a shower.” You mumbled, looking down to his lips. It was impossible not to. He nodded slowly, both of you noticing how tense the air was getting. You titled your head and smiled softly, now messing with him. “Do you even know my name?”

He seemed to snap himself out of his thoughts. “Not yet. I’m fucking surprised I haven’t seen you before. Come see me tomorrow, will you, baby girl?”

Fuck.

Not that nickname.

PART 2

So! This will probably be like 4 or 5 chapters long. But it really depends on what y’all think. I’m also open to ideas! 

Love you :) xox

[nitannichionne]

Luna IV Chapter 14: The Claiming of Syverson (A Cavill / Syverson Fan Fic)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: THE CLAIMING OF SYVERSON

“Come on, Kane,” you mumble. The dog was alright, but there were times can feel it watching you. It stands outside any door you go into, and is very wary of men. Merchants would give a discount just to keep you moving. When you are alone, however, he became like a puppy. You like him best that way.

You smile to yourself, hearing Helena’s sing song way of calling your name. You turn and see her making her way to you, starting to actually waddle, the baby was growing so big. When you heard her husband call her sunshine, you were not surprised. Helena always had a sunny disposition.

“Hi!” Helena smiles brightly, finally catching up to you. “Oh, I was hoping you’d come today.”

“Why?” you ask, slowing your usual walk for her benefit. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she nods quickly. “It’s just nice to have someone to shop with.

You smile gently. “Well, I figured you’d be here. I hate shopping alone now, thanks to you.” You raise your voice, casting a sideward glance at the older claimed women in the distance as she locks elbows with you. “I mean, where would I get a decent opinion?”

Helena giggles, rolling her eyes. “You’re awful.”

“That’s what Sy tells me,” you joke softly as they walked by a fruit booth.

“That’s what they say too,” Helena nods quickly in the direction of the other women. “Women have been trying to get Sy since he got here. They keep asking how you did it.”

You chuckle, and then sigh. “I’ll be honest, I’m not sure.”

“Oh, don’t let them hear you say that!” Helena giggled back.

You give a unladylike snort. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Kane’ll get ‘em.” You give the dog a pat on the head. “Won’t ya, boy?”

“Is Sy still worried?”

“Yeah, he still is,” you frown. “I am claimed. There’s really not much anyone can do now.”

“Well, all I know is that security is tighter now,” Helena informs as they stop to look at smoked meat. “He’s made it harder for people to get into Luna IV…oh, I do miss food pellets sometimes.”

“I don’t,” you shake your head. “My father didn’t believe in them…ever.”

“Really?”

“Nope.”

“Are you ready for tonight?”

You feel a flock of butterflies in your stomach. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You’re going to do it,” Helena said excitedly. “You’re really going to do it!”

“Yeah,” you nod, your thoughts turning to Sy. “I’ve been working on this all month.” Tonight, you would lay your claim on Simon Syverson.

You make preparations and prepare a meal. You fill the house with scents like jasmine and lavender, even a little vanilla. You redecorated the house, and now you wait.

You hear him enter, and freeze. Your heart pounds as you know he is noting the changes of the house. He finally comes into view and his blue eyes widen at the décor as he deeply inhales, his eyes closing and then opening with a grin. He looks about and finally his eyes meet yours “Wow, baby, a tent inside?.” His wonder fades as his gaze travels your body, looking at the new dress which bragged of his family colors. You smile wider as he blinks at the buckle around your waist, newly cleaned and polished by your hand. He swallows hard at the choker she has only removed once since he put it on her, and that was to clean and polish it as well. He shakes his head and chuckles, “You’ve been busy.”

You cannot help but laugh at that as you sit and watch his eyes glisten. “Sy”

“Yes?”

You know the words. You have studied your lost culture. You have never really cared as much, but you want this man to be yours as much as you are his. “Will you let me care for you?”

Sy stilled.

You blink, feeling unsure. “It is Orion—“

“Yes.”

“Oh…” You blink and look around. You rise quickly, feeling nervous, and walk to him, holding out your hands. “Please sit.”

He puts his large hands in your small ones and allows himself to be led to the cushions and table. He sits on one of the cushions, cross-legged and waiting. He is pleasantly surprised to watch you straddle him. He runs his fingers over your sides in appreciation as he sniffs your neck.

“Something to eat?” you offered. You licked her lips waiting for an answer, mouth gone dry.

He gives you one of his sensual smiles and lowers his voice. “I’m sure I could do for an appetizer.”

You reach over to the table, selecting fresh bread and dunking it in a sauce. You feed the appetizer to him slowly.  It is followed by small wafers of bread with meat and cheeses for more dunking of different sauces. You even hold his glass of wine as he drinks.

He is enjoying all this, you think as he patiently watches you put together each mouthful, take each sip of wine you tilt into his mouth. Your heart melts even more. This was a soldier, a man with great responsibility. He cares for and protects you, listens when you speak and possesses you in ways that are almost addictive. He honor and accepts you and even came down on one knee in allegiance when he asked you wear his family crest. You realize the depth of your words. You want to care for him. He deserves it.

“This is a tradition?”

He had broken into your thoughts, your eyes focusing on his again. “Yes.”

He looks at the bowl of chocolate that had not been touched, and runs his fingers down your spine. “May I make a request?”

“Of course.” You squirm, trying not to arch against him, but not fully succeeding. Your blood was heating.

“I want to eat chocolate off you,” he touches your lips, dips his finger in the bowl and glazes your lips with it.

You blink. “Alright.” When you reach for it, he catches your hand and presses his lips to it, making you exhale heavily. “I want to serve you—“

“Serving you is serving myself,” he says softly, smiling up at you.

“Serving you is serving myself,” you echo. This was not part of any custom-Orioni or Luna III-but a statement had never been truer for you both. You frame your face in his hands and kiss him, feeling his lips lick yours as his embrace becomes tighter.

He dips his fingers into the bowl and makes lines from under your ear along your neck to the neckline of your dress. He slowly unfastens your belt, carefully setting it aside with his clean hand, and opens your dress so he can coat each of your breasts with it. He uses more of it to coat your lips again. You shyly smile and laugh as it drips onto your chin. He mirrors your expression and then starts licking the sweetness from your lips. He parts yours with his own and kisses you deeply. You take turns sucking on each other’s tongues, and then he stops to suck the treat from her chin.

A small moan escaped you as he continues lower with his eyes closed, using his mouth and nose to track the chocolate over her body as one would read the trail on a map. It was a game, with the most rewarding tastes of salt and sweet. You both pant, reveling in each other’s touch and taste. You become aware of his hands running up and down your legs and hips, and you move lightly against him, feeling him against you. His arms support your upper body as you arch in arousal.  

“Will…you unite with me?” you ask.

He barely stifled his chuckle at her breathless request. “Of course.”

This part has to be done, you tell yourself. You move to sit up, and he helps you. You reach to the fruit tray and pull the knife from it. You cut your finger, gasping softly.

He does not hide his surprise. “What—“

You keep your finger erect as you reached for the table again and pull a thin leather rope with a hollowed crystal dangling from it. You lace the rope with your blood and then bled into the small chasm. Satisfied there was enough, you look to him. “Will you unite with me?”

He understands, and shows no hesitation as he did the last time she asked. He took the knife from her, cut his finger, and did all that she had, their life forces intermingling in the clear stone. He raises his eyes to yours, waiting.

“As long as you wear this,” you whisper, closing the crystal and sealing it with a laser pen from the table. “we are never apart.” You put the necklace around his neck. “Let all who behold this know that you belong.”

He takes a deep breath, looking at you, a wealth of feeling in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“We should clean our wounds, ourselves,” You say softly, rising and taking his hands in yours. “Come with me.”

He nods yes, and lets you lead him. You had run a bath. The sunken tub is warm and inviting as you both stepped down to sit. He sighs as you take a sponge, and begin to bathe him gently, starting from his head and working downward. You begin to tremble, remembering past times you had joined with him, how good he felt. You keep your hand steady with effort to make this good for him, but your heart starts to race. He closes his eyes, savoring your gentle and careful caresses, smiling when you linger in some areas. You did it to calm yourself. What is happening?

His eyes open, full of desire. “Love?”

“Hmm?”

“The moon is rising.”

“I know.”

“No, baby, a full moon is rising.”

The implication of his words slams into you. “Sy—”

“Your turn,” he growls softly, pulling you across his lap, bringing your leg around to straddle him. He runs his fingers over your hair gently, and kisses her neck slowly. He uses the sponge to stroke your back firmly, letting the kisses trail up to your ear and finally to your mouth, moaning softly at the taste of you again as you sigh in surrender, responding in kind. His mouth dips lower to your breasts, taking one in and applying enough pressure to make her arch yet again as he caresses the other. He grinds against you gently, and your head falls back as your breath hitches.

“Uhhh…” You moan as he rounds your rear, pulling your hips into his. He turns you and raises you effortlessly and slowly brings you down on his erection. You moan softly, grabbing his thighs as you melt around him, your cries wordless as sexual relief washes over you like the warm water your bodies are in. His lips, tongue and teeth alternate on your neck and back in lines and patterns, making your arch as he plays havoc with the front of her body when you lean against him. His arm goes around your waist and he secures you to him as he turns you toward the lip of the tub, your knees on the seat as you feel him surge forward, his hips pushing slightly upward for more impact. Kitten cries escaped you as you begin to move with him, helplessly lost in his steadying but gentle hands, the feel of him rocking back and forth within you with water as welcome and added stimulus, moving and splashing with your bodies. Finally you cried out, your body convulsing around him, your hips rocking on him. He pulls out of you slowly and sits you on the bench. You extend your arms and hold onto the tub’s edge as he wraps your legs around you and thrusts back inside, pumping you furiously, making you scream as he plucked and caressed your lovelips and bud. Your head falls back as your body releases screams and spasms, gasping and coming uncontrollably in his arms.

He kisses your shoulders and turns, sitting with you on top of him, still embedded, still pulsing inside you. You wrap your arms around him, your knees squeezing to keep him in position and let your body claim him, your body commanding every move solely based on his moans, his pulse within you. The moon increases your fervor as you ride him hard, and he moans louder, yielding to you., only holding you lovingly and reveling in the roll of her hips. You suck your breath every time, with every thrust as he began to move, releasing it in a deep moan that told him how you needed and wanted him…and would again…always…

He rises from the water, and you wrap around hiim. He takes you back to the pillows and lays you across the large one so that your head is a little lower than her body. Kneeling between your legs he licks you, moaning softly when your juices flowed. He sucks your lovelips, teasing you, thrusting two fingers inside you. You scream his name and then moan as he thrust his tongue as deeply as he can, giving her a whole new sensation to savor. As your body began to twist in silent plea to him to be filled, he withdraws and thrusts into you, holding your ankles so her legs couldn’t lock around him. He works you, his hips gyrating, and you move with him almost desperately, helplessly. He leans forward and pushes your knees back, laying on you to piston in and out of you fully. He built the tension inside you until you finally exploded in a scream of bliss. He growls as he bucks against you, his body responding in kind, shuddering in release. You are both trembling, riding out waves of passion and desire, your breaths combined moans as you instinctively squeeze him and he spills his life into you. You curl wordlessly against each other, planting stray kisses, cheek to cheek snuggles. This is how it was supposed to be, you both know. Luna III had it wrong. Maybe even Luna II did too. You served each other to serve yourselves, and nothing felt better than that.

“Now,” he pants lightly, kissing you. “Who belongs to who?”

You laugh breathlessly, touching his face. “I honestly don’t know.”

@fckdeusername @maan24  @rn7rocks @kaatelyyynn  @october505 @absentmindedreader @introvertedmouse

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober 12: Masks, RK1K

Of course I had to write a masquerade!

----------------------------

It had been a fun idea that showed you could never know who was really an android or not. A few humans were supposed to act like androids and a few androids were supposed to act like humans. Of course, the androids had the advantage, being able to change their appearance and voice at will. Everyone was also supposed to wear masks like a typical masquerade. At the end of the night, they would try to guess who wasn't who they said they were. 

Connor was one of the few not allowed to guess, but he could disguise himself if he wanted to. He would be just too good at figuring out everyone, but that was fine. He was excited to get to dress up and had an idea for his outfit.

Beautiful white and gold blossom mask was kept to his face by a golden ribbon, but he let his hair be curlier than normal. It wouldn't be any longer but he also darkened it to be black instead of brown.

It was a river of red tulle, rippling from the waist to drape and pool across the floor. A gentle circlet of gold, hung with a drape of thin chain, links catching the light like stars against the shadow of Connor’s spine, the dress opening in the back to show it. The dress had a crushed bouquet of golden daisies, flowers bursting from the center to curve up towards bared shoulders, the pressed appliqué vines curling down towards a single hip. 

He also wore black high block heels and undergarments he planned on no one seeing. Sure there was one person he'd like to see and touch there but that was doubtful.

It wouldn't be too hard to figure out it was him, but he hoped the slight changes would throw everyone off. Not to mention the fact that he chose to wear a dress instead of a suit. 

He had to find and buy his whole outfit by himself and couldn't even show Hank since he was invited too. There was one person, the same one that he wanted to touch him, that he was dying to see their reaction. Yet the masks and disguises would make it hard to tell. 

He looked himself over one last time, once again debating if he should have installed the breasts. He had them for whenever he felt like it, but he liked how he looked and felt without them when dressed like this. 

Yet even if he did decide on that he'd have to go all the way back to Hank's, and he was already slightly late. He could hear the soft music playing in the room in front of him, the sounds of people talking and enjoying themselves were even louder. 

There was still a small like to get in, having to go through a scan to make sure there were no weapons. Only certain people could go through without taking any of theirs off, and Connor was one of them. 

He didn't have too many weapons on him, but just enough to keep everyone safe if need be. 

So instead he moved to the side door and slipped in, making sure the door didn't close on his dress. 

The large room-once used as a cafeteria for the Cyberlife Tower-was warm from the human bodies. There were three long tables of food laid out, the two ends for the humans and the middle for the androids. 

There was a live band set up playing soft music, but there was also a DJ booth he assumed would be used later into the night. 

Around the tables were plenty of chairs for humans to sit and rest between dances while everyone stood around the edges. 

Multiple couples were dancing on the floor, some more professional in style, and others simply swaying to the beat. 

The lighting was soft but bright enough that no human would struggle to see, but there were also fairy lights strung up on the ceiling looking like stars. 

It was one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen, and he stood there for a second taking it all in. He'd slip into the crowd in a moment, but for now, he could see everything. 

He finally let himself blend in, a few people stopping him to compliment his dress. He had made his voice as androgynous as possible and it seemed to work. 

He recognized Josh and Simon instantly, the two dancing together, but they had decided to forgo any actual disguise. He couldn't find North or Markus yet so they probably were hiding their identity. 

Not only was this a fun activity to bring everyone together, if anyone did try to attack they wouldn't know who to get first. 

It was fairly easy to identify the humans disguised as androids, but a few had him having to check twice just to be sure. 

He also spotted Hank in the crowd but decided not to approach. He didn't want anyone connecting the two together. 

"You look stunning." A deep voice mumbled over his shoulder. He jumped and his head whipped around to see a very handsome man standing there. 

No one feature makes this man so handsome, though his eyes come close. People often speak of the color of eyes, as if that were of importance, yet his would be beautiful in any shade, the deep blue stunning. From them comes an intensity an honesty, a gentleness. His skin was a honey brown, close to Markus's but not quite. 

Connor squinted at him just slightly, something about the way he smiled and his eyes told him he knew this person. Yet he didn't recognize him by appearance. "Thank you…" 

"Leo, it's a pleasure to meet you." The man-Leo-held out his hand and Connor took it, giving a firm shake. 

"Andrea." It was the first name he could think of, but now he had to stick with it. Plus, it changed gender depending on the language. 

Leo tilted his head and Connor knew for a fact this person was an android. There was always an odd sensation when he was being scanned, but he had put a small disruptor on so no one could truly scan him. 

He saw the small amount of confusion on Leo's face but it quickly faded. "A beautiful name for a beautiful… person." 

Connor snorted but tried to cover it up with a polite cough. "Thank you, you look wonderful as well." He wasn't lying either, the man definitely stood out of the crowd. 

He wore a mask that had dark multi-colored feathers surrounding this mardi gras style minotaur mask. Black elastic strap will hold it in place around his head. 

He wore a paisley vested dress suit featuring a prominent wide lapel jacket with double side vents in back. The red paisley pattern vest set on gus black and red suit had a matching red tie. Overall it was incredibly well put together and looked wonderful on him, obviously tailored to him. 

It was oddly amusing how well they seemed to match without even trying. The people around them kept glancing over and Connor had to stop himself from trying to blend into the background. 

One of the most important things about blending in and disgusting yourself was keeping as little lies as possible. The next was changing body language and tendencies. He had to show off because everyone knew he preferred to stay hidden. 

"Would you care to dance?" He asked, offering his arm. Leo took it without hesitation, and the two walked to the middle of the room. 

They easily positioned themselves, before starting to dance to the music. It was close to a waltz but not exactly, yet the flowed around the room effortlessly. 

"So, Leo may I ask you a few questions?" He couldn't give away the fact that he wasn't allowed to actually guess. 

Leo smiled and gave a small nod, before twirling Connor out then back into his arms, the dress fanning out. "As long as I can ask you some."

"A question for a question then. I think we can get the main out of the way. You're an android, aren't you?" He didn't need confirmation but it was a good way to get this going with as much truth as possible. 

Leo chuckled and Connor could feel the vibrations against his chest before they moved away only to come back to each other in smooth movements. "That I am, and I'll use my question to ask the same." 

Connor nodded and then let Leo lift him up by his waist, spin slightly before gently setting him back down. His hips tingled from the touch and he couldn't help but be even more intrigued. "I am, what gave it away?" He had temporarily taken his LED out for the night, but he'd put it back in afterward. 

"I tried to scan you and I glitched."

"You flatter me." He said, changing it up by taking the lead. Leo easily let him, moving along without even stumbling. "But that is cheating."

"It's only cheating if you get caught, I hadn't expected someone to be able to block me out. I don't plan on exposing you if you don't expose me." 

He was lifted again and he couldn't help the smile on his face. Then he was twirled and only then did he notice the dance floor had been empty except for the two of them. Everyone who wasn't too focused was now staring at them in awe. "I don't plan to either." 

Then his feet were back on the floor and Leo took the lead again. They took a second to just dance and Connor felt like he was floating. They moved together almost too well, and Connor had a feeling he knew why. 

"So, what do you like to do in your free time?" Now he just wanted to see how deep he could dig without 'Leo' finding out that he knew. Or he at least suspected. 

Leo pulled Connor close again, their bodies sliding together before they stepped to the side, only an inch between them now as they moved. They seemed to be getting closer every time they came back to one another. 

The hand on his back was low but never became immodest, yet it had him shivering and artificial goosebumps rising. He felt almost delicate in Markus-Leo's arms, yet also dangerous, mysterious, and powerful. 

He had three knives and a gun strapped to his thighs that no one would be able to see. Not unless he wanted them to. 

"I don't have much free time, but you can take it up what little I do have if you want." Leo added a wink and Connor giggled, rolling his eyes. 

Markus wasn't doing such a good job at hiding who he was. He was different enough that Connor didn't want to call him out, but Connor knew him well enough. 

The only thing he needed to know now is if Markus knew it was him. If he was still flirty because he could get away with it without anyone knowing, or if he was flirting with Connor. 

"I can't exactly go over to someone's house without knowing his name, that would just be rude." Plus he didn't like not knowing. He could easily have a one-night stand with someone if he knew them enough, if not he preferred to pleasure himself. 

"Well, you do know my name, it's Leo." 

"No, I know the name you gave me. We both know we aren't who we say we are."

Leo gave a low hum, again looking him over but this time not scanning with his sensors, instead, just taking in the sight of him. 

They glided their way around the ballroom in a wide circle, never getting too close to the people watching which was everyone now. 

Connor was pushed out and his hand and arm went with the movement before being pulled in and gently dipped. 

Then he was being gently lifted by his knee and he put an arm around Markus's neck, the other coming up to rest on his cheek as they spun. It was easy to get lost in the dance but then the music came to a slow stop and Markus put him down, giving him one last spin before pulling him in, Connor's back against his chest. 

The panted together, more from the tension between them than the actual dance. The whole ballroom was completely silent before it erupted into applause. Connor flushed at the attention but he could feel Markus's breath against his ear, so warm. 

They looked at each other before slowly pulling apart. Connor and Markus both bowed just slightly, each having wild grins on their faces. 

Markus kept a hold of his hand as he led them to the door Connor had slipped in from. Connor knew what was going to happen and he really couldn't wait. Yet that doubt of Markus not knowing it was him, and doing it all anyway ate at him. Yet he'd still do this. He'd still be with him this way, at least for the night. 

The door shut softly behind them, but he didn't have much time until he was being pressed against it, and Markus' lips on his.

His hands held him low on his hips, tugging gently at the fabric. Connor sighed into the kiss, pushing deeper. He knew this was Markus. It was so obvious and now he could finally taste him. 

Fire running through his veins, the universe stopped. His mouth, electrifying and sweet. Markus made his own way through Connor's lips, sucking on them, teasing him, running the tip of his tongue along with them. Every delicious suck making him whimper. Connor felt hot everywhere, cheeks, neck, soles, crotch. 

Then Markus kissed down his chin and to his neck, holding him up by his hands but also a knee between Connor's legs. "M-Markus!" Connor sighed out, tilting his head. 

He only realized he called for Markus in his own voice when Markus froze. Shit, did he not know? 

Then Markus was laughing and pressing into him and resting their foreheads against each other. "I knew it. I hoped it was you, no one else has that… connection with me. But you looked so similar I was worried it was someone doing a really good job at acting like you. This is going to sound terrible, but I was going to sleep with you whether or not you're actually you. I couldn't give up the opportunity even if it was fake."

He sagged in relief, not even knowing he had tensed up so much. He'd let himself use his own voice, but decided to keep the hair the same. It seemed Markus had the same idea. Nether even thought to take their masks off. 

They were glued from chest to hip, but neither of them felt it was enough. Connor wanted to be able to feel all of him, but he could still hear the party liven back up after their dance. Did everyone know what they were about to do? Fuck, Hank saw that too, no doubt. 

Markus slid his hand down, and over his growing bulge. He gave a soft chuckle, kissing Connor's cheek. "I wondered if you swapped parts for the night." 

Connor quickly shook his head, then leaned it back against the door. "No, I wanted to keep that for tonight. Maybe later," he mumbled, his breath catching when Markus easily found his head through the layers of fabric. 

"Hm, I'd like that. But I'd also like to see you. Maybe lick you a bit then fuck you against this door. Anyone close enough could hear too." Markus kept playing with him and he couldn't help but squirm. 

"Yes! Fuck, yes Markus, please." He doubted anyone would come this way, but if they did they'd definitely get the sight of a lifetime. 

Markus squatted down and Connor grabbed the skirt of his dress and slid it up. 

A black thong skirted by fine lace, garters stamped with tiny black bows. The stockings they hold were sheer, topped with thin black filigree flowers, digging slightly round the thick of his thighs. Markus can just make out the crescent of a moon spun in the fibers of one, along with several ink dark petals. But what also caught his eye was Connor's weapons now on display. 

He ran a finger down the inside of Connor's thigh then over the gun and then the knives. Connor whimpered and clutched the fabric tighter. 

"Look at you, so beautiful. Did you wear these for me?" Markus asked. 

Connor honestly didn't know if he was talking about the lingerie or weapons, yet it didn't change his response. "Yes! Yes, I did it all for you. I wanted to seduce you, but I had to find you first. Luckily you found m-me!" 

He stumbled over his words as Markus licked him through the panties. He gave a low hum before doing it again, and again, and again. 

"Markus please! More, please more." How Markus could turn him into a begging mess so easily was beyond him. 

"It's ok, baby. I've got you." Then he took Connor's hard and leaking cock into that gorgeous mouth. Connor was still somewhat stunned this was actually happening, his hands clutching the fabric as his life depended on it. 

Connor watched as his cock disappeared over and over into that filthy mouth. Lips stretched wide, and both hands on Connor's thighs, brushing against his weapons. He watched as one of those hands disappeared from his view, he could still feel it though, fondling his balls, brushing past them to rub against his hole.

His body gladly provided the lube that was needed and he wanted so badly to close his legs, to hide his dripping wetness from Markus. 

Then he pulled off with a wet pop and licked at his whole, pulling the panties to the side. He did kitten licks at first, then flattening his tongue before pushing it in. Connor gasped and reached to grab one of Markus's shoulder, but Markus grabbed his leg and pulled it over instead. It gave him a much better angle to continue his ministrations, fucking him with his tongue. 

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, Markus." He rambled hips twitching from want. But then the fucker moved back and took his cock in his mouth again, easily sliding in a finger into his tight heat. 

After a few more moments of watching Markus bob his head on his cock, he felt the second finger begin, he felt them moving to stretch him. He jumped in surprise and pleasure when those fingers found his prostate and the third finger crept up beside the other two. Rubbing mercilessly against his prostate, Connor moaned, he was so damn close, Markus must have sensed this because he jerked his head back and let Connor's cock fall out of his mouth while his fingers switched to just gentle stretching movements instead. 

Suddenly those talented fingers left his ass and he heard the sound of a buckle being undone, opening his eyes quickly he saw Markus pull his zipper down to let his own cock out, giving it a quick pump. 

Markus pressed up against him and sliding his hands underneath Connor's ass he lifted him against the wall. Positioning Connor so his knees were over his shoulder, he was squeezed between the wall and Markus' hard-muscled body, the thought caught between a rock and a hard place, flickering through his mind briefly. Markus's cock was now rubbing it slowly against Connor's dripping hole. Connor whined and tried to wriggle but found he could barely move from the way he was being held against the wall.

There really was no hiding what they were doing now if someone walked by, and that thought alone had him whining high-pitched. "I want to feel you cum inside me, I want you to fuck me so hard that I’ll limp for a week, and then I want you to fuck me some more.” He demanded. 

Then he was sliding his cock inside Connor's warm hole, in one long smooth motion, he pressed forward. 

When he felt Markus bottom out, he was glad to be given a moment to breathe. He gasped as Markus pulled out and pushed back in, slowly picking up his pace, gradually building his speed. Markus tilted slightly and Connor's world spun. Crying out, he saw what people meant when they said they saw fireworks. "Yes!" He all but shouted, not giving a damn who heard him. 

"You're so beautiful, so gorgeous for me, baby. Connor, god, look at you. So wet for my cock." Markus mumbled against Connor's skin. 

Connor felt so close and the sound of Markus's real voice wasn't helping. "Markus! Markus I don't want to get dirty, fuck!" 

He couldn't ruin his dress or Markus's suit. Markus huffed and reached down to hold the base of Connor cock, still fucking him senseless. 

Connor moaned and felt tears prickle then slide down his cheeks. There was so much pressure and he just wanted to come already. 

"How about this, I come in you, clean you up then you can come in my mouth. That sound good, baby boy?"

Connor nodded and could feel how close Markus was by how erratic his thrusts were. Yet he still drew it out until he could hold it back anymore. 

Connor whimpered as he felt himself being filled with Markus's come, his hips desperately snapped up into Connor. 

He couldn't stop whining as Markus pulled out, but only to drop so he could lick up his own come. He still held Connor's cock tight enough that he wouldn't come, but God he wanted it. His legs shook as Markus took his time, even sucked on his hole then swirled his tongue around inside. 

Even when Connor was sure he was completely cleaned up, Markus kept going, teasing him. He felt so oversensitive that it was almost painful. He barely had enough strength to even hold his dress up, but Markus had enough strength to keep him up. 

He was a crying, shaking, begging mess by the time Markus was pulling his mouth away from his hole to, finally, his dick. 

"You ready, baby? Want to come now? I can keep going, keep fucking your pretty hole." Markus mumbled, before gently sucking on the head. 

Connor's hips spasmed but Markus kept a tight hold on him, looking up at him through that beautiful mask. "Yes! Yes, please let me come. I need to!" 

Markus took him all the way down then moved his hand away and swallowed. Connor screamed, back arching away from the door, his orgasms making his vision blur for a second. 

Markus kept sucking and swallowing, taking down every last bit he could get with greed. He swirled his tongue across the head making Connor's legs give out, before pulling off and catching him. 

"There we go, baby. Did so well not coming." Markus mumbled, pressing close to his neck. Connor could feel the softness of the feathers and it tickled just slightly. 

Markus held him to his chest as they both calmed down enough for Connor to stand again, fixing his panties. He felt so dirty and worried that he'd been too loud. But it seemed they had switched from live music to the DJ so he didn't worry too much. 

Markus played with Connor's hair as he made sure they were both presentable. "You really are beautiful, Connor. I'm glad you didn't change your eyes."

Connor flushed blue, leaning into the gentle touch. "Even though you changed your eyes, I could tell it was you. There's this fire and passion behind them no matter what." 

"I think you only notice that because I'm often looking at you." 

Oh, that was just too damn smooth. He pulled Markus forward into a soft and slow kiss, no need to get them worked up again. 

He couldn't wait until he could do this in the normal bodies, where he can take his time exploring every inch of Markus. But for now, he pulled back, fixing both of the masks. "I adore you. You ready to go back in? I'm sure people are wondering where we've gone." 

Markus gave a hum, then leaned forward to kiss Connor one last time. "I am." Markus's voice transformed back into his disguise and Connor took his arm, walking proudly back into the ballroom.