#*sudden and violent bout of cuteness aggression*

[bugoutreviewgirlie]

are they implying what I think they're implying

[idontliekmondays]

excerpts from a daily mail article released shortly after her arrest

When members of the Geneva High School role playing club asked 16-year-old Lindsay Souvannarath to choose a character they were expecting an elf, a sorceress or perhaps a female warrior.

But the shy, clean-cut teenager opted for a rather more unsettling choice, presenting them with a detailed pencil drawing of her chosen persona - the 'Nightmare Nazi'.

The trench coat, jackboots and gas mask were unmistakably those of an SS soldier; the skeletal hands clutching a vast dagger more akin to dark fantasy art.

Former classmates at Geneva High recall Lindsay Souvannarath as a shy, withdrawn youngster, who had few friends and instead sought out after-school groups and writing clubs to express her creative side.

But she was also prone to bouts of anger and violence - allegedly stabbing another student with a pencil in one outburst and occasionally letting slip an alarming infatuation with the Third Reich.

'On first impressions I didn't think there was anything too strange about her,' he told Daily Mail Online.

'She could be funny and intelligent but most of the time she was quiet and not very warm or outgoing.

'One year her character was a sort of Wonder Woman-type heroine, then all of sudden she tells the group she wants to be a Nazi ghost.

'You choose your species and come up with a back story. Hers was that her character was a guest from a crazy, dark Nazi universe.

'It's supposed to be a game in a medieval, fantasy setting but she would just argue if she didn't get her way.

'So we went on our quest with a robot, a couple of elves, wizards and this weird Nazi.

'Aside from the character's background he didn't do anything racist or too alarming. We didn't know about her interests at that time so we just got on with it.

Ms Szigeti recalled how Souvannarath began to idolize black-death metal bands in her mid-teens.

She became particularly infatuated with Varg Vikernes, a white supremacist musician convicted in 1994 of killing a rival guitarist and burning down three churches in Norway, describing him as 'cute' and writing essays about him.

'Her work was always dark and full of violence, there were soldiers and Nazis and all this weird stuff,' Sabrina said.

'She acted normal on the surface. She was never physically violent but she would get aggressive and upset if you criticized her.

'Everyone was uncomfortable but we just avoided trying to start a fight with her. 'If you asked her straight up 'are you a Nazi?' she would argue that she wasn't.

As far back as 2007 - when she was just 15 - she allegedly wrote 'free speech is dead' in one forum, adding: 'That's why we need people like David Duke to bring it to life again.'

In another warped entry, writing that same year under the pseudonym Snoopyfemme she wrote: 'They use sex in commercials all the time to sell products. Why don't they ever use violence?

'Wouldn't you love to see a bunch of guys tearing each other apart with machine guns to get a bowl of Cheerios?

'Sure, it might traumatize our children, but in my opinion, children aren't being traumatized enough.

'The only reason for Americans to breed is to create more soldiers to fight for freedom. We need to weed out the weaklings early on. Survival of the fittest, man.'

'She was very odd to the point among a lot of our classmates that no-one was surprised by her arrest.

'She was a very lonely person - but she isolated herself. 'From what I remember she was even suspended for stabbing someone with a pencil in middle school.'

'She was known for putting spells on people. She would do it by saying weird things and then putting on a curse - obviously we did not take her seriously.

'She would break out into laughter in the middle of class for absolutely no reason.

'When we saw that Lindsay did something like this, nobody was surprised. She was the one most likely.'

source

[trashyswitch]

Sibling Rivalry

Roman and Remus get into a fight (no surprise), that turns physical after some bickering.

Patton and Virgil, not wanting either of them to get any more hurt, run and dive into the fight to break them up.

It's around here, that the physical fight grows more heartening and playful...

The day had been mostly peaceful. Virgil and Patton could be seen on the couch. They were covered in blankets and watching movies together in the living room. Logan was hanging out in his room doing who knows what, while Deceit could be seen eating Jelly Beans and playing Cards Against Humanity by himself in the kitchen.

However, their peacefulness would soon be interrupted...Because before everyone could truly process the peace and quiet, a pair of twins could be heard shouting profanities at each other as they chased each other.

"YOU'RE SUCH A CHEATER!" Roman shouted as he chased the man in front of him.

"Come ON, Brother? When am I NOT a cheater?" Remus yelled over his shoulder as he ran.

"You could at least TRY to play by the rules!" Roman argued.

"But listen to this:" Remus suggested, slowing down to a stop to explain things. "I was playing by the rules. There is no rule against throwing pillows at your opponents."

Roman growled in fury. "YES! THERE IS! SOCIETY CREATED THAT RULE DECADES AGO!" Roman shouted back.

"Well, I wasn't told about that rule." Remus defended, attempting to act like an innocent toddler.

Everyone practically groaned. "There goes our quiet afternoon..." Virgil muttered.

Roman looked over to Virgil and Patton. "Sorry about the...interruption. We were playing Forza Horizon 4, and SOMEONE shoved a pillow into my face!" Roman apologized and explained.

"Oh...ya, he does that all the time." Virgil replied, remembering the countless times he's gotten pillows to the face while gaming.

"Why are you surprised that Remus is cheating? You know he's capable of it." Patton asked.

"I'm just tired of him cheating all the time. It's never ending!" Roman argued.

"Well, if you're tired of Remus's cheating, then stop playing video games with him." Virgil suggested.

Remus's smug smirk slowly turned into a surprised expression. "Wait, what?" Remus reacted, looking at Virgil.

"B-but...look at that face!" Roman argued, pointing at Remus. Remus tilted his head, confused. "How could you say no to that ugly face?" Roman argued.

Virgil's eyebrows raised in pure surprise. Even as they argue, Roman still cares about his brother.

"You-...So, you want to play games with him. Is that what I'm getting from this?" Patton clarified.

"Yes. I wanna play games with him. But, I don't want him to cheat." Roman explained.

"Well...try asking him." Patton offered.

Roman sighed, and turned to his brother. "Remus...can you please play video games with me fairly?" Roman asked him.

Remus looked back at Roman with a serious face. "...How fairly?" Remus asked.

"100% fairly. No distractions, no hacking, no advancements." Roman explained.

Remus's face fell into a disappointed frown, before an idea came to his head. "How about 30% fair. No advancements. But distractions and hacking against your opponent is allowed." Remus muttered.

Roman growled in anger. "NOOO!" Roman yelled, acting like a child.

"Really?! But Roman, I said no advancements!" Remus argued, unable to understand why Roman wasn't happy.

"But distractions and hacking are ALLOWED?! There is NO WAY I'm playing such a game!" Roman yelled back.

Virgil rubbed the bridge of his nose, before pulling out a coin.

"Boys, how about this:" Virgil called, waiting for their attention on him before continuing. "Heads up will be unfair play, and tails up will be fair play. Got it?" Virgil suggested.

Roman and Remus nodded in agreement, believing the 50/50 chance system would help them out. Virgil flipped the coin once; bad flip. He flipped it a second time: a really good flip! Just for good measure, Virgil flipped the coin one last time. Virgil caught the coin, and flipped it over on the back of his left hand: tails.

Tails up = fair play.

"Tails." Virgil told them.

"WHAT?!" Remus shouted.

"HA! IN YOUR FACE! FAIR PLAY IS BEST PLAY!" Roman cheered, feeling amazing and prideful for winning a game of chance.

Remus let out a low growl. In a fit of rage, Remus pushed Roman onto the ground. Roman fell onto his back with a thud.

"Hey! What the hell man!" Roman protested.

"We get it, you won! Doesn't mean you need to be a b**** about it." Remus argued.

"Oh, quit being a sore loser. Oh no! Luck wasn't on my side! Poor me!" Roman said in a sarcastic voice. Remus rolled his eyes and started walking away. "And let me guess: You're gonna walk into your room and read those stupid magazines until you feel better!" Roman guessed.

Remus froze into place. Did he just-...Did he just bring his magazines into this fight?! With Patton watching?!

"Am I right?" Roman asked, crossing his arms and leaning on his hip.

Remus huffed as anger started to REALLY take him over. And, Remus let it. Remus turned himself around towards his so-called 'brother', and started screaming and sprinting towards him. Roman's face turned from confidence into fear in a matter of seconds, before being tackled to the ground by his heavy twin. Before Roman could process anything, his face was being punched into by Remus's tightened fists.

Patton gasped and covered his eyes at first. He couldn't look!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA, WHOA!" Virgil reacted as his body grew overwhelmed with shock. He's seen Remus and Roman fight before, so that wasn't new. But Virgil had never seen Remus this angry before!

"REMUS! STOP IT!" Patton shouted, finally uncovering his eyes. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"He won't. Unless we physically intervene, Remus will keep on going until he's exhausted." Virgil warned Patton.

"You get Remus, I'll get Roman." Patton offered.

"Okay. Good idea." Virgil agreed before jumping in. Virgil reached for Remus's hands and grabbed them once they swung back. Once Remus's wrists were secure in his hands, Virgil wrapped his arms across each other and under his armpits. This was a self-defense move that teachers are allowed to do when children are being physical. Though the child in the hold should be a lot smaller than the person holding, Virgil ignored that rule. This was his friend. They had made a promise years ago, that Virgil was allowed to stop Remus in moments like this. Right then, was a good example.

While Virgil was holding onto Remus, Patton had pulled Roman aside and leaned him against the wall. Roman had a couple red spots on his head, but that was nothing compared to the blood dripping out of his nose. Patton grabbed a box of Kleenex and a cup of water from the tap, to dab it off.

"Remus, calm down." Virgil ordered as he held onto the aggressive man. Remus's fighting was beginning to die down, but still remained strong. He must've felt an intense need to increase Roman's injuries. To be honest, Virgil wanted to as well. Roman had no business mentioning something like that out loud. Sure, it was somewhat okay because Virgil was already aware of the magazines he reads. But with Patton around...Who knows how Remus was feeling? Now, as Virgil's arms grew tired, he decided to start reaching for desperate measures...

"Are you okay?" Patton asked. Roman nodded his head, and looked at Remus. "Don't worry, Roman. Remus is okay. He's with Virgil. He's still fighting, but he's safe. Now, I want you to look up, and breath out of your mouth." Patton reassured. Roman followed what he said, and tipped his head back. Patton plugged his nose to trap the blood and let it clot.

As the two light sides worked on looking after Roman's bloody nose, a sudden bout of laughter had taken over the room. It was surprisingly bubbly, and a little more high-pitched than usual. Patton jolted from the sudden unfamiliar sound, and looked towards the source of the sound. Roman didn't need to do that, though, because Roman had immediately recognized whose laughter it was: It was Remus's!

Patton's eyes lit up as he watched the scene unfolding in front of them; Virgil was digging his thumbs into Remus's hips, and Remus was squirming and laughing in response!

"Is...is he okay?" Patton asked, nervous to approach a man with violent tendencies.

Virgil smirked. "I don't know. Hey Remus! Are you okay?" Virgil asked, raising his voice slightly, so his voice could be heard above Remus's laughter.

"STAHAHAHAP TIHIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHE!" Remus shouted in response.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna take that as a 'yes, please join in'." Virgil clarified for the father figure. And, Patton happily joined him!

"What are some good spots to get?" Patton asked, unsure of where to start.

"Okay, let me think...His feet are ticklish, but they stink to high heaven. So, unless you want the room to smell like rotting corpse for the next week, DON'T GO THERE." Virgil warned him.

Patton giggled at Virgil's reply. One part of him thought Virgil was over exaggerating, but the other parts of him thought; 'this is Remus we're talking about...' It would be no surprise if he wasn't...

"His armpits are also ticklish, but again: stinky. So, go for the back of his knees." Virgil suggested.

"NOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEHEASE NOHOHOHOHO!" Remus begged. Unfortunately, Remus's begs didn't stop Patton from diving for his knees, and scratching his fingers on the back of his knees.

Remus let out a squeal, before falling into a fit of cackles. "Awww! Your laugh is so cute!" Patton complimented.

Remus interrupted his laughter with a squeak. "NOHOHOHO IHIHIHIT'S NAHAHAHAHAT!" Remus argued through his laughter.

"Believe it or not, I agree with Patton on this one. Your laugh has always been cute, and clearly, it hasn't changed..." Virgil added before leaning into Remus's ear. "Not...one...bit..." Virgil whispered in his ear. Suddenly, Virgil fluttered his fingers behind Remus's ears.

Remus threw his head back. "WAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE! IHIHI'M TOHOHOHOHOO TIHIHIHICKLIHIHIHISH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Remus shouted through his hysterical laughter.

Virgil smiled. "Oh, you're too ticklish? Well, stop being ticklish then! Stop being ticklish, and aaalll your problems will be answered." Virgil replied.

Remus growled in reaction. "IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAN'T!" Remus shot back.

"Oh, what's that? You can't stop being ticklish? well, then I guess you're stuck here for a while." Virgil teased with a wink.

Remus's eyes widened in pure horror. How long was Remus gonna be laughing for?! The truth was, Remus liked laughing...on his own! He liked allowing himself to laugh, and wasn't a fan of forcing laughter out of him like a deflating balloon. Tickling was a complicated thing...It forced the man to laugh, but-...

It actually felt good??? It was a feeling Remus couldn't explain...

"...Hey Patton? Do you notice Remus trying to run away at all?" Virgil asked, noticing something about the man.

"Uh...no, actually! He's not running away at all! He's not even trying to get away!" Patton observed.

Virgil placed a curled finger on his chin. "I think...Remus likes it." Virgil theorized out loud, with a wide smirk developing at the end.

Patton gasped, as if he had just found a bed of puppies in front of him. "No way...REALLY?!" Patton squealed. "OHMYGOSHTHISISSOCUTE! AAAAAAAHH!" Patton shouted, repetitively clapping his hands as his whole body brightened up excitedly.

"Wait...Is that what that is? I-I feel...warm? Like, not in a horny sense! I would've told you earlier if I was horny..." Remus attempted to explain.

"Do you feel...calm? Giddy? Overwhelmed with emotions to name one?" Virgil asked, attempting to help the man go through the feelings Virgil felt before him.

"Yes, but...I..." Remus attempted to explain, slowly losing focus and falling into space.

"How about a hug?" Patton asked. Remus looked up, and saw Patton stretching his arms out. "Dad hugs are always available!" Patton offered. Though a little hesitant, Remus allowed himself to hug him.

Patton wrapped his arms around Remus, and squeezed a bit. Remus gasped at the sudden snug feeling, but smiled. "Harder!" Remus ordered in a giddy way.

Patton's eyes widened. "Really?" Patton clarified. Remus nodded his head, showing off his lopsided teeth as he grinned excitedly. "Okay. Come here you!" Patton ordered, pulling Remus into another hug, and squeezing harder. Remus could feel every ounce of breath being pushed out of his lungs! And all his breath came out in leftover giggles! Patton, who rather enjoyed the sound of Remus's laughter, allowed Remus to breath; Patton squeezed Remus harder and started growling playfully as he squeezed. Remus's giggling grew more loud and free! This made the experience all the more worth it!

To add to the adorable scene, Remus began scribbling his nails on Patton's sides, to hear his reaction. Patton bursted into giggles in response, and allowed a toothy smile to show up on his face. Remus tested out other spots as well. Spider-fingers on Patton's ribs made laughter ring throughout the room, and wiggly fingers on Patton's belly made squeaky giggles pop out!

"Awww! Your laugh is so pretty!" Remus admitted.

"I agree." Virgil admitted as well. Virgil knelt down beside Patton's free side, and wiggled his fingers under Patton's armpits.

Patton's arms clamped down on Virgil's arms, trapping them there to, ironically, continue tickling him. "aaAAAAAH! VIRGIL WAHAHAHAIT! EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHE AHAHARMPIHIHIHIHITS!" Patton pleaded as he began wiggling.

"But Patton! it's a good spot to go for. Wouldn't you agree, Remus?" Virgil reacted.

"I agree!" Remus replied with a smile. Patton's body continued wiggling and kicking as the tickle attack continued. His jacket had untied itself and laid on the ground under the father. Meanwhile, his hair was growing fairly messy the more that he squirmed.

"PLEHEHEHEHEASE! IHIHIHI CAHAHAN'T TAHAHAHAKE MUHUHUCH MOHOHOHORE!" Patton begged.

"Would you like lighter tickles instead?" Virgil asked.

"YEHEHEHES PLEHEHEHEASE!" Patton replied eagerly.

Virgil nodded in understanding and stopped his fingers. When Patton's arms loosened, Virgil removed his hands from his armpits and lightly began tracing a single finger on Patton's belly.

"You know who could use an apology and some peaceful tickles right now? Roman." Virgil hinted, giving Remus a wink as a go-ahead signal.

Remus smiled before getting up and heading over to the couch, where Roman was sitting and watching.

"Hi Roman." Remus said.

"Hi." Roman replied.

"How's your nose?" Remus asked.

Roman gave his brother a crooked smile. "It stopped bleeding, which is good." Roman replied.

Remus nodded, and scratched his arm. "Yeah...I'm sorry about that." Remus told him, feeling genuinely guilty.

"Remus, wai-"

"No, I need to apologize. I shouldn't have punched you. Hell, I shouldn't have pushed you in the first place. I should've accepted the loss and moved on." Remus ended his apology.

"You don't need to apologize for anything. I deserve every bruise and every drop of blood on my face." Roman reacted. "I'm sorry for mentioning the magazines in our argument. It was incredibly rude of me. I should've just kept my mouth shut." Roman told him.

Remus rolled his eyes and smiled. "Jesus, you're starting to sound like Anne of Green Gables!" Remus joked.

'Oh, Mrs. Lynde, I am so extremely sorry! I could never express all my sorrow, no, not if I used up a whole dictionary. You must just imagine it. I behaved terribly to you—and I’ve disgraced the dear friends, Matthew and Marilla, who have let me stay at Green Gables although I’m not a boy. I’m a dreadfully wicked and ungrateful girl, and I deserve to be punished and cast out by respectable people forever!" Roman joked dramatically.

"It was very wicked of me to fly into a temper because you told me the truth. It WAS the truth; every word you said was true. My hair is red and I’m freckled and skinny and ugly." Remus acted dramatically. Then, Remus whispered the next dialogue with his hand covering part of his mouth: "What I said to you was true, too, but I shouldn’t have said it." Remus recited in a semi-monotone voice. Roman giggled at the sudden change of voice expression.

Suddenly, Roman continued with his dramatic voice, and uttered the last point of dialogue: "Oh, Mrs. Lynde, please, please, forgive me! If you refuse it will be a lifelong sorrow on a poor little orphan girl, would you, even if she had a dreadful temper? Oh, I am sure you wouldn’t. Please say you forgive me, Mrs. Lynde." Roman begged dramatically.

Remus sighed and shook his head as he smiled. "I forgive you."

"YAY!" Roman cheered excitedly, pulling Remus into a hug. Remus gladly accepted the hug, and also took it as a great opportunity to tickle him! Remus wrapped his hands around his waist, and sneakily started squeezing his sides.

"HA! Hahahahahaha! Ahahare thehehese the peheheheace tihihickles?" Roman asked.

"Ohoho, yes they are." Remus replied as his fingers started digging and wiggling into Roman's sides.

"NAAAHAHAHAHAHA! COME OHOHOHOHOHON!" Roman bursted out.

"What? Is it too much?" Remus asked.

"NOHOHOHO, BUHUHUHUT..." Roman replied.

"Well, then why are you complaining?" Remus reacted. next up, was his belly. Remus gently placed his fingernails onto Roman's soft belly, and began softly dragging all 10 fingernails up and down his tummy. Roman bursted into a mix of nervous giggles, and giddy giggles. He loved it, but he knew things were gonna get a lot worse.

"Whahahahat ahahahare yohohohou gohohonna dohohoho?" Roman asked through his never ending giggle fit.

"Don't worry brother. I'm gonna keep it light. Can I borrow your sword?" Remus reassured.

Roman looked at Remus, who was holding his hand out. "Whyhy?" Roman asked.

"I'm gonna turn it into something. But, it's gonna be a surprise." Remus explained as spoil-free as possible. Roman reluctantly unclipped his belt, and handed Remus the sword. Remus stopped both hands and used them to pull the sword out of its cover.

"Whoa, whoa whoa! Remus, what are you doing with that?!" Virgil asked, raising his voice in an anxious tone.

"It's okay!" Remus reassured him. Remus proved this by using his magic to make the sword smaller in size. Then, Remus placed his right hand on the blade and dragged it across the blade, turning it into a green feather blade. "See?" Remus observed.

"Ohoho bohohohoy...Ihihi cahahahahan't lohohohohook..." Roman said through his nervous giggles as he covered up his eyes. Remus let an evil little smirk take over his face while he lifted up the costume to expose his belly. As his belly was exposed to the air, Roman's giggles became more giddy and frantic. It didn't take long for the feather to start slowly bringing itself down towards Roman's exposed belly.

"Any last words?" Remus asked, pausing to hear his response.

Roman looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. "Juhuhuhust DOHOHO IHIHIT!" Roman begged desperately.

Remus's eyebrows raised. He didn't expect THAT kind of response. "Very well then!" Remus replied happily. He placed the feather right onto Roman's belly button, and swirled in and around the deep button.

"Gahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! EEE! Ihihihihit tihihihihihickles sohohoho bahahahahad!" Roman giggled manically.

"Really? Your laugh would tell me otherwise!" Remus teased. Though the laughter that left Roman's lungs wasn't unbearable for Roman, the tickly feeling of the feather against his belly was SUPER UNBEARABLE!

Roman kept on giggling like that for around half an hour. In that time, Remus tried fluttering the feather on all kinds of spots: the abdomen, the neck (that was the WORST!), the armpits, the ribs, the feet (THAT WAS REALLY BAD AS WELL!), and even the hidden spot behind Roman's knees! All of the spots seemed to create endless giggles to fill the entire room with.

Soon, Virgil's laughter filled the room as well! After all, he couldn't play the ler for everyone, without getting bombarded by revengeful lees...

[wannawrite]

honeysuckle

who?: Wanna One’s Ha Sungwoon genre: 🌺🌸 type: scenario word count: 2.5K TW: OD, vomiting, pills

blog navigator.

sungwoon adores flowers to death 

isn’t love supposed to taste like honey after all? 

hanahaki! AU

I miss sungwoon so much. Good news: HIATUS OVER

- admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners 

everything that is written here is purely fictional 

DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~

The sweetness on the very tip of his tongue poisoned like a scorpion’s sting. It lingered on his taste buds, the sense of longing, yearn.

He stuck out his tongue and gently plucked the flower off, allowing it to scatter out the window. At the same time, Sungwoon took a glance outside, witnessing a gust of wind blow the flowers in circles.

Then, a bout of sweetness crashed into his being, snaking up his throat and into his mouth. His lungs heaved, coughing out parasitic flowers.

He had always been a flowers kind of boy.

But not like this.

By now, he didn’t care to dispose of them immediately, the sheer amount was too much to keep taking out regularly. Sungwoon let the flowers float across his room.

Thankfully, the medicine was taking effect and most of the flowers had been expelled from his body. His lungs no longer felt the pain of growth. The suffocating feeling of being filled from the inside out usually threatened his ribcage to burst. It was a miracle that the physical pain was gone.

Now, all that was left to do was tackle the root of the problem - the feelings in his heart.

~

“Sungwoon! Hello! Wow, I feel like I haven’t heard your voice in forever! I’m finally back in Seoul!” you shrieked excitedly on the phone with your best friend. Spending nearly a week on a church retreat to some remote island was exhausting yet uplifting. Still, you couldn’t wait to return to the busyness of city life. “How about we catch up at our favourite pancake cafe? I could use a stack of great honey pancakes right now,” you suggested hopefully, planning to bribe Sungwoon with his favourite treats. At the same time, you manoeuvred your luggage into your home. Sungwoon’s cheery voice was all you needed to cure your jet lag and boredom. His voice could make the moon sparkle and serenade the sun to sleep. “Remember that cute church choir guy I was telling you about?” you chirped. “There’s so much I want to tell you!” Sungwoon coughed, quite violently. Worry began to sink into your bones. “S-“ “I’m fine!” he replied, almost in a false cheery tone. “J-just caught the flu or something. I-I’ll see a doctor soon.” “Oh,” you mumbled fretfully. “Are you well enough to meet today? Maybe I should just come over-“ “No, no!” He cut off abruptly before coughing again. “See you later, bye.” Confused, you put down the phone, mind troubled. Then, you looked at your luggage. Well, at least unpacking would serve as a good distraction. It’ll be futile to get so worked up over nothing. Sungwoon would be fine. He always would be. ~ 

Ignoring the prescription on the lucid orange bottle, Sungwoon flicked the cap off and downed the few remaining pills in one gulp.

Screw one pill twice a day. Unrequited love suppressants don’t have time for that.

There was no time to ponder about side effects. No room in his mind to consider the consequences. He just had to hide this...disease, that was all that mattered.

Sungwoon knew that it was you he loved and truthfully, he would confess if this issue had not popped up. It meant that your heart was already taken by someone else.

He just couldn’t bear the burden of placing you in a tough position, especially if the reason was his feelings.

Best friend - who you’ve never felt romantically attracted to - or your crush - the person of your dreams?

Yeah, there was no debate about it.

Sungwoon’s heart began to squeeze but he paid it no mind. The all-familiar discomfort of tips of petals stabbing into his sides set it. He scooped yet another bloomed cherry blossom off his tongue.

None of the pain mattered as long as no one discovered his secret.

Most importantly, you.

~

Sungwoon was already seated at a window booth when you arrived. The familiar and comforting face sent warmth flooding through you. You were ecstatic to see your best friend again.

He stood up and reached for a quick embrace which was happily returned.

“You look well-rested after your retreat,” Sungwoon commented, noticing the halo of a glow that surrounded you.

“It was...enlightening. I had a lot of fun and it was nice to travel with my parents again,” you filled him in. “I did miss you, the city and everything else though.”

A small smile crept onto his lips, it was sweet like honey and playful like bees. “You missed me?”

“Ugh, stop it. Of course, I missed my best friend and I missed everyone in Seoul.”

Thankfully, two plates of steaming pancake towers arrived, each boasting three fluffy hotcakes stacked on top of each other. As usual, Sungwoon’s had the classic maple syrup and a cube of butter on the top.

You ate in silence for a few minutes, savouring each dense bite of pancake, soaking up the atmosphere of being in your favourite place, eating your favourite food, with your favourite human being.

The most trustable, honest and kindest friend you had to date.

“I’ve got to tell you! Remember Issac, the...choir guy?” you spilled to Sungwoon, who offered a nod in reply.

Issac was attractive, no doubt, but you weren’t sure if you were ready for a relationship or anything. He may not even be interested. You just had to consult your best friend.

“So you’re dating him now?” Sungwoon stabbed a square of pancake a little too aggressively.

Frantically, you shook your head. “No, no! I don’t know if I’m ready to invest myself in a relationship, especially when we only met over this retreat.”

Your declaration made Sungwoon breathe a little easier but he still felt uncomfortable. Little pinpricks began to jab his torso, from the inside.

He sighed, “You’ll know when your heart’s ready. And I’ll always support you. Don’t worry so much about this, there are still opportunities...enough for you to keep your options open.” Sungwoon let out a couple of coughs before dropping the topic.

Suddenly, the air seemed heavy, questions hung over your head like a rain cloud. Something seemed off.  Was it discomfort? The vibes in the area seemed thrown off course.

Then, Sungwoon smiled and asked about the details of your vacation as a whole, and you found yourself in the warmth of sunshine and security again. Relaxed and cool, at ease.

After brunch - which Sungwoon insisted on treating, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to window shop or grab a coffee from a nearby cafe.

“If you’re up for it. I don’t want to overwork you when you’re sick,” you stated with concern.

Sungwoon ran quick calculations in his head, estimating the effects of the pills and how long they would last before the next dose. He needed to pop by the pharmacy to get a new bottle.

He felt like the pills would sustain him. Gut feeling.

That is the reason Sungwoon agreed and found himself in the line for a popular pop-up coffee booth.

He did feel better. Listening to your voice, seeing your bubbly smile brighten your face, hearing giggles escape your lips...made him happy.

A sudden pang of pain hit his chest but he willfully ignored it, hands balled into fists in an attempt to control his reaction.

No one must know.

“Two iced Americanos please and one with a shot of chocolate,” Sungwoon ordered. He had all the favourites memorised.

It kind of made you swoon.

“Thank you,” you beamed, practically glowing with delight. “There’s a reason you’re my best friend.”

Sungwoon’s smile was tight-lipped and seemed forced but he was quick to diffuse it. He handed you your cup and clinked it with his.

The pain was nearly unbearable, it attacked from all sides. Nausea washed over him like a tsunami wave, shaking his tall pillars of determination.

No. Not like this.

“Excuse me for a minute,” he uttered as loudly as he could, ducking behind the shop and into a less crowded alley. Stunned, you caught his coffee before it could spill.

“O-okay.”

Cherry blossom after cherry blossom spewed out from his mouth, the flow was uncontrollable, unstoppable. Sungwoon retched out honey-sweet pink petals until he was dry-heaving, head spinning and body quaking. He brushed away mini stray petals that stuck to the sides of his lips, shaking them off in distaste.

With trembling hands, he Googled side effects of the pills. That seemed like a good idea.

Dosage: More than three pills can be taken under severe circumstances. This would purge the lungs of all flowers, new flower growth, stems and roots. Warning: should only be taken in situations when the hanahaki disease could cause fatal respiratory malfunction and under 24-hour supervision of medical professionals

Side Effects: - will cause sharp, intense and prolonged pain - will cause frequent regurgitation to expel waste matter from the body - in serious cases, patients may lose consciousness due to severe pain and discomfort

No. No. No.

“Sungwoon? Oh my god!” You rushed over to your friend who was unsteadily bent over, practically hurling his lungs out. His phone was carelessly tossed to one side.

Sucking in a deep breath to calm your nerves, you tried to assist him in sticking to rhythmic breathing.

Which was of...little use?

There was no stopping these pesky rosy flowers.

Cautiously, you picked a clean, fresh cherry blossom from the floor, from the pile of ‘barf’.

H-hanahaki?

“I-I-I was going to tell you...” Sungwoon choked out, now leaning against a wall, unable to move. “I-I r-really was...”

He heaved out another clump of flowers and watched as one got caught up in the passing winds, danced in front of his eyes before being swept to your distressed face, then the sole flower was blown away into...oblivion.

I like you.

~

The cold, stiff plastic chair dug into your back and thighs as you sat waiting, anxiously waiting for Sungwoon to regain consciousness.

“You idiot,” you whispered, tears threatening to slip down your face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Now, all you could do was sit and hold his hand, waiting.

The doctors had to clear the remaining chunks of flowers, stems and ‘unearthed’ roots from his lungs. They had been choking him. Sungwoon had overdosed on the pills without any professional medical attention, it could have ended fatally.

At least, all he would sustain was minor bruising and soreness around his chest.

Finally, after hours of prodding, Sungwoon finally awoke. His eyes widened when they fell on you.

And at that moment, you couldn’t stop your tears from flowing.

“Who hurt you, Sungwoon? Who?” you cried. “Tell me and I’ll go sort it out for you! You don’t have to take these pills anymore!”

His mouth was pressed into a thin line, gaze wavering, uncertain.

You exhaled shakily like all the oxygen had been knocked out of your lungs. It hurt, it genuinely did.

“W-why did you do it? W-were y-you afraid that I would find out?”

A long pause filled the space. It was longer than necessary, too hesitant for comfort, a foreign feeling since you and Sungwoon rarely withheld details.

“Yes.”

Short, one-worded, affirmative answer.

Sungwoon tried to shrug and remain nonchalant about the situation. “Yes, I was scared that you would find out that I liked you, more than just a friend.”

Confession.

He let out a short sigh of pure relief and gladness, getting those off his chest was easier said than done but so worth it. Sungwoon felt much more carefree than burdened.

Still, he hoped it had not damaged the good relations.

A billion thoughts were racing through your head, crashing into each other when your brain failed to comprehend them individually. The information was being tossed at your form, compacted into one spaceship hurtling into the planet of you. A fresh batch of tears began pouring from your eyes.

“You could’ve told me! You didn’t have to hurt yourself like this! You’re my best friend Sungwoon. I can’t bear to see you get hurt!”

I know. I never wanted to hurt you either. All these flowers would ever do is to be a burden to you.

~

Walking next to Sungwoon...as a date was so much different from linking arms as best friends. You were much more self-aware, self-conscious of the smallest actions.

Since that whole incident last week, both of you had gone home and immersed yourselves in deep reflection, especially of your feelings.

Sungwoon’s hanahaki did not improve or worsen.

Finally, you decided to call him and give this ‘dating’ thing a shot. Both of you were single and you found Sungwoon the most amazing person in the world.

Maybe there was more to just admiration and platonic love. It never pained to discover.

The date was wholesome though it started off rather awkward and tense. Unfamiliar.

However, after an hour, all the uneasiness fizzled away and you were reminded who you were with, your best friend - possibly more than that.

You wished the date didn’t have to end so soon as the taxi rolled closer to your home. How would it end? Did all dates end with a kiss?

Colour filled your face at the thought.

“Thanks for,,, today,” Sungwoon concluded, blushing. He cleared his throat. “It’s late, you should get some rest.”

The taxi pulled to a gentle halt.

“Uh, I’ll walk you to your apartment.”

A smile made its way to your face at his words, you ducked out of the taxi before Sungwoon could notice your glee. He talked to the driver then hopped out of the vehicle.

“Today was really fun. I enjoyed myself,” you began, a hint of playfulness in your tone. “Let’s do it again sometime!”

Sungwoon’s cheeks reddened, almost with a rosy glow. He slowly slipped his hand into yours and clutched it tight. The feeling was foreign yet welcomed.

“Sure.”

You practically skipped up the remaining flights of stairs, too impatient and excited to remain still in an elevator, much less wait for one. Sungwoon was mercilessly dragged along, he laughed.

At last, the door came into sight, causing, a tinge of disappointment in the smiles.

“I-I’ll head in first...”

You fumbled with the locks and keys, trying to delay the entirety of ‘goodbye’.

Sungwoon bit his lips and swallowed hard before asking, “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, rocking back and forth, shuffling in his spot anxiously. 

Your hands froze in their spot, no, your whole body froze, unsure of how to respond.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Sensing the sudden reaction and change of mood, he slowly backed away, embarrassed. “I-I...goodnight. I’ll see you soon.”

In a flash, you tossed your keys aside. “Hey! Sungwoon!”

He spun on his heel, looking surprised. “Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

It was his turn to freeze up. You chuckled at his expression. Then, his shock morphed into a delightful smirk. His arms didn’t hesitate to circle around you, his eyes fluttered shut and then he pressed his lips onto yours.

Closing your eyes, you gladly melted into the kiss, allowing the world around you to melt away. The kiss was passionate, soft and promising, like the perfect blend of milk and honey. 

A new, fresh feeling began to bloom in Sungwoon’s chest.