#*starts gnawing on your arm like a corn cob*

[cjauswrites]

AU Clausten fic in which they cuddle underneath the stars

EDIT: I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THISD BEFORE I COULD PROOFREAD JT IMSTEAD OF SAVIG IT TP DRAFTS IDK HOW TO FIX IT IM SORRY IF THIS SUSKCS

The moon hung low in the night sky as it would cast its pale rays upon the grassy outskirts of Tazmily, dancing along the young dewdrops that had just begun to take their shape over the tips of unruly blades. The absence of tall streetlamps allowed the sky to be dotted by stars, one-by-one they came out of hiding to greet the two lovers as they basked in the dwindling light.

Despite not having nearly as much to offer him as the countless light sources that littered the city of Tazmily, Ninten found himself drawn to the moon and stars. They reminded him of home, in a way. Even though stars faded with each passing year as the city grew and expanded, seeking to swallow Mother Nature and cover her beauty with blankets of pavement, Ninten found himself counting the stars every night he could manage.

And he taught Claus the constellations, knowing that he may very well be the only person alive to pass this knowledge down.

"That one," Ninten outstretched an index finger towards a small cluster of stars, "is the little dipper."

Claus's weary eyes narrowed to slits as he attempted to pick out the shape of the constellation; the reflection of the distant stars imitated a twinkle in the redhead's gaze that had long since been lost to time. "Why'd they call it that?"

A lighthearted chuckle arose in the black-haired man's chest. "Because if you connect the dots, it looks like a-..." he traced the shape with his hand, "see, like a little ladle!"

Ninten tilted his head to face the other, his rounded cheek catching a few drops of dew as it graced the unkempt grass; he could practically see the gears turning in his boyfriend's head. The way he gained a slight verticle wrinkle between his eyebrows whenever he found himself deep in thought, paired with the ever-so-subtle pout that formed on his lower lip.

"Damn-- I see it, actually," Claus's low, gravelly voice broke the comfortable silence and jolted Ninten out of his trance. "How d'you know all this stuff, Nint?"

"I read it in a book once." Ninten's round eyes flickered back to the endless sky. Claus simply gave a low hum and crossed his arms behind his head; blades of grass rustled beneath him as it flattened to accomodate for his shifting weight.

"You're smart, you know that?"

"Me, smart? God, the number of people who'd kick your shit in for saying that," Ninten would snort as he tried-- and failed-- to hold back a loud laugh. Arms folded over his stomach as the muscles tensed; though the baseball player's giggling would awkwardly trail off into silence when he took note of his lover's unmoving expression. Oh.

"It's just the truth, hun."

... The truth.

Ninten rolled onto his side and draped his arms around the other male, curling up against his partner's bony frame; he felt a shiver crawl up his spine as another cold gust blew past them and prompted Ninten to bury his face into his partner's threadbare army jacket. He squeezed him close in an attempt to glean any warmth from his body. Though Claus's clothing seemed to retain more heat than the man himself.

"Hmph. Yeah, yeah... and you're a big ol' ginger sweetiepie."

With a raspy exhale from his nostrils, Claus slung an arm around Ninten and pulled him closer to his side. Had this unfolded just a few months ago, Claus would have yelped and pushed him off as if Ninten were a bug that fell on his shirt. But he was doomed to warm up to physical contact eventually. He chose the human blanket to love, after all.

Ninten's eyelids drooped shut as if they'd had weights tied to them; he allowed himself the rare pleasure of simply letting the world fade around him. Of letting everything in his surroundings slip from his awareness. Everything except for Claus.

He focused solely on Claus. His low breathing. The worn fabric of his coat. His makeshift heartbeat. His scent. Claus's uniform almost always carried the faint smell of cheap cologne, liquor, and cigarettes-- a mixture of smells that Ninten had grown to find comfort in through Claus alone, despite his inherent distaste for smoke in particular. He respected the fact that Claus never smoked in front of him, so he refrained from getting on his case about it. For now. His ass was not safe from Ninten's nagging if they ever got married.

Married... oh, to live the carefree married life with Claus. Were they even close to that point yet? Not yet, right? As if Ninten had even the faintest idea what a normal marriage looked like. They were only in their 20s, but he still entertained thoughts of their potential future, letting scenarios run through his mind like a dandelion on the wind.

"Tired?" A familiar voice cut through the thick silence and snapped the smaller man to reality yet again. Shit, he had been dozing off. How late even was it?

"Yeah, I--" Ninten was cut off mid-sentence by a long yawn, to which he finally lifted his head from his lover's clothing and scratched at the short black stubble that lined the curve of his chin. "I woke up kinda early today, heh. So yeah."

Claus placed his palms flat on the grass and slowly pushed himself to his twig-like legs, joints popping into function as he straightened himself out. The commander leaned down and would offer a hand to his stargazing partner. "Let's go."

Ninten felt his heart flutter in his chest like a caged bird; he stared up in doe-eyed adoration, gaze falling to Claus's glove as it was offered to him. Ninten accepted, feeling each scratch and indentation etched into the leather. The taller one pulled his beloved up to stand and instinctively wrapped his free arm around Ninten's waist once he was on his feet. Fingers remained laced together.

Ninten's lips parted to speak, but words eluded him, as he met Claus's heavy-lidded pools of deep blue and crimson. As if it moved without thought, his free hand traveled upwards to tangle in Claus's copper hair. Up went those ginger brows. Curious glances flitted between Ninten's hand and his eyes.

The space between them closed until their lips brushed over each other and the two lovers kissed under the moonlight. Despite the familiarity, Ninten's heart pounded in his chest, as if this kiss was his very first-- as if he hadn't shared a kiss with Claus after nearly every date.

When they pulled away, the two simply embraced each other. Ninten's arms draped around Claus's torso with his weary head rested against his chest, feeling the dull hum of machinery against his forehead. It felt right, in a way.

"Wanna sleep at my place?" Ninten spoke without removing himself from his spot.

"Of course I do."

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Saturdate with Lan Zhan Pt 3

So for added dramatic flair, once we got out I draped myself over a hay bale and cried that I thought we were going to die but you saaaved us Lan Zhaaaan you saved us! You’re a hero!! 

Did people stare? Yes. But I like to think they were amused and charmed. 

Hah.

Lan Zhan smiled again and offered me a hand to help me up again. 

I asked him how he was so good at getting out. Surely he must have done a corn maze before and he’d been leading me on this whole time!

Instead of answering he picked something out of my hair. Straw? A leaf? Doesn’t matter. 

My heart exploded again so I just did the only thing I could do in such a situation.

I swooned dramatically again, though this time I swooned into his arms. (I swear this man could probably bench a truck if asked).

He caught me

Because he’s wonderful 

But then

He

Kissed

My 

Fucking 

Cheek 

Again!

FUCK

 I mean I know I started it but FUCK 

I have opened a door that will probably just give me more heartache in the end. But at the time I really just… didn’t care. All I cared about was being so close to him. 

Eventually my brain started functioning again and I managed to gather enough willpower to stand up straight again. 

Cleared my throat and asked him what he wanted to do next. 

“Eat” he says

In that smooth as velvet voice of his. That I could honestly listen to forever. He could read the dictionary to me and I’d be happy. 

Shame he’s so efficient with his words though. I’ll take what I can get. Every word is a gem. 

And I wasn’t gonna complain that that was his choice either because i was starving at that point, but didn’t want to admit I’d skipped breakfast. 

I don’t know why. Just didn’t want him to know. 

Anyway we went to the little area with a bunch of food trucks and told him to get however much of whatever he wanted. I’d been saving up for this ever since I decided I wanted to take him out (it’s much easier when you work for a job that actually fucking PAYS you but I digress.)

He stared at the menus for a while and pretty much got a bit of everything except the real basic stuff like Pizza and burgers. 

He said he was trying everything that was new to him. (MY HEART)

And apparently that includes corn on the cob?????? How can you never have eaten corn on the cobb??????????

Well… on second thought. Having seen him, his brother, and his uncle… I think it is kinda hard to picture them all just sitting at the table and gnawing at a corn cob like some sort of animal with a bone. 

Anyway I felt like a little goblin hoarding all this food. We skittered over to the picnic tables and laid out our feast. I cackled like the goblin I was and I got another smile from Lan Zhan. 

<3

We split everything but I made sure Lan Zhan got the first bite of it all before I did. That way he could have more of what he liked and I could polish off what he didn’t like!

Turns out he has a sweet tooth! He went to TOWN on those mini donuts!  

I was so excited to see him trying all this stuff and asking what he thought

Do you like this? What did you think about that one?

Should we get more of that later?

That I forgot that I was dying of hunger like a poor family on the Oregon Trail. 

Until he shoved a corndog in my mouth and told me to eat. 

Oh Lan Zhan what would I do without you~? <3

(Seriously though. My life would be so much worse without you in it. Thank you, Lan Zhan, for taking such good care ofme. I don’t deserve it but you do it anyway. I hope I was able to give back even a fraction of that care.)

We worked our way through our feast fit for kings and I found I was very glad we hadn’t eaten BEFORE the maze or Lan Zhan would have had to roll me. 

I told Lan Zhan as much and that smooth fucker said he would have just carried me!

“Noooo I’m so fat now with this little food baby I’d break your back!” I protested like an eloquent prince. I started rubbing said food baby while resisting the VERY strong urge to undo the button on my jeans which were a biiiit tooo snug now. 

And of course because I can NEVER WIN AGAINST THIS MAN 

He replied “I’ll carry you both” like the smooth fucker he is.

“What a diligent father!” tease in a feeble attempt to save some face. 

And he just

SMILES at me again. Like a real noticeable to the general public smile!

And my heart just STOPS.

I yelled at him to WARN me before he smiles like that. My poor heart. 

He just smiled AGAIN while promising to try. 

THAT FUCKER

I bumped him with my shoulder because honestly what else was there to say? He is the ONLY person in the WORLD who can leave me speechless. And he takes advantage of that WAY too often! It’s not fair!

TBC

[turbomun]

I need more bonny immediately

Teaser for Puppet City under the cut!

I’d known that something was wrong even before I found my father’s body.

All day, at luncheon and the shopping arcade and the cinema, an air of wrongness had seemed to pool thickly around me, no matter where I turned to try and escape it. On my way back from the cinema, in the trolley, I’d started itching all over, mildly but unavoidably. Since it was a public place, I’d done my best to ignore it, though I couldn’t keep from rubbing my thighs together under my skirt. Mr. Innes – my father’s friend, and the chaperone that he usually sent with me when he was busy with work – noticed, but he was too polite to mention it.

We walked from the trolley station and stopped at the corner of Harley Street. Mr. Innes and I had an unspoken agreement in which he would at least allow me to walk up to my front door alone, a small freedom that meant more to me than it probably should have.

“Good afternoon, Bonny,” he said, tipping his hat to me lightly.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Innes,” I echoed, performing the briefest of curtsies. Then I turned for home without another thought, my skirt not quite brushing against the ground, unaware of how much would change by the time I saw him again.

Gilded letters on the door spelled out: Throckett’s Remarkable Clockwork Servants. Doctor Devon Throckett, Owner & Proprietor. Officially, this place was called a “sales office” – it was far too upscale to be a mere shop – yet my father and his associates had called it “the shop” for as long as I could remember, probably because they could still remember when this operation had been anything but upscale.

I stepped into the front lobby, and I could have sworn that even as I passed through the doorway, the itching in my skin intensified.

“Father?” I called, rubbing at my arms through my sleeves. He’d said that he would surely be finished by three o’clock today, and he had no appointments scheduled after that. I produced my pocket watch; it was half-past four…yet there was no sign of him.

The lobby was empty, but I noticed that further back, the door to the showroom was slightly open. That was terribly odd – with all of the valuable pieces stored there, examples of his most successful works, my father never left the showroom unsecured. Then again, perhaps he’d had an unexpected client drop in, and was showing some eminent gentleman around even now…

But if that was the case, then why didn’t I hear any voices?

Peering into the showroom, I saw almost everything that I would have expected. A strip of plush red carpet meandered past a dozen pedestals of polished wood, and from each pedestal a different clockwork servant surveyed the room, gleaming beneath its own spotlight. All the way at the opposite end of the room was the door to the workshop, metal and imposing, always bolted shut. Clients were never permitted to enter the workshop, and I myself had only been inside a handful of times, always under my father’s strict supervision.

Except that today, not only were the bolts drawn back, but the door was open – and not just a small amount like the door to the showroom. It gaped like a monster’s mouth.

“Father?!” I cried, suddenly alarmed.

I didn’t think, only hitched up my skirts and scrambled through the showroom, my feet thudding dully against the carpet. When I reached the door, the threshold between opulent paneling and utilitarian porcelain walls, I froze. Three steps led down from where I stood into the bowels of the workshop.

My father lay sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs, motionless.

I knew immediately that he was dead, although I couldn’t have explained just how I knew. My skin was so itchy that it seemed to be coated with a million crawling insects. Unknowingly, my fingertips clawed at my sleeves as I walked down the stairs, aware of the discomfort even though the rest of me couldn’t feel anything yet. He was face-down on the tiles, his laboratory coat spread across him as if somebody had already laid out a burial shroud. One of his hands was planted on top of a neatly creased sheet of paper, upon which was printed my name:

Bonny

I eased the note out from under his palm, thinking vaguely that I should be having some sort of visceral reaction, as I’d never seen a corpse outside of grainy photographs in the newspaper. But so far, I felt neither disgust, nor horror, nor despair. The only things I was aware of were the frantic thudding of my heart and the maddening itch under my skin.

The note was obviously a suicide note, and it was just as obviously intended for me.

My dearest daughter,

By the time you receive this message, I will have ended my life. For the past three years, I have attempted to cope with the consequences of what I did in a moment of grief, and it is finally time for me to admit failure. However, you deserve an explanation.

Many years ago, I was a widower raising my daughter, Barbara Throckett, on my own after her mother perished in childbirth. I was very indulgent with Barbara, as she was the only family I had and more precious to me than anything in the world. I allowed her frequent visits to my workshop, and by the time she was thirteen, I permitted her to look around even when I was absent – she had taken a shine to engineering, and I wanted to encourage her as much as I could.

But it wasn’t to last. That very same year, I arrived home one day to find Barbara had gotten too close to one of my…experimental devices. I will not cause you further pain by describing the scene I encountered, but suffice it to say that she had been injured quite severely, and died before I ever returned home. Of course, I was devastated. I had lost the only family I had left in the world, and without Barbara, I felt myself lost.

Yet, in the extremity of my anguish, a singular idea occurred to me. Poor Barbara had been beyond repair…but perhaps, for someone of my skillset, she was not beyond recreation. I had made my living building clockwork servants; now I would attempt to build a clockwork daughter.

And as you have probably surmised by now, Bonny, I was successful. That clockwork daughter is you.

I felt cold, cold as metal. The itching was rapidly becoming unbearable, and I would have begun desperately slapping at my skin if that hadn’t meant letting go of the note.

Of course, even when I had perfected an independent intelligence capable of running in a human-shaped automaton, Barbara’s personality could never be perfectly transferred over to a brain that wasn’t even organic. Some changes were inevitable. It was for this reason that, although I programmed you with her memories, I decided to call you Bonny. I made a few alterations so that you would believe that this had always been your name, and with the same technique, I concealed many of the physical differences between you and a human that you might have been inclined to question.

I do love you, my dear, and if you cannot forgive me from withholding the truth from you, I will certainly understand. You have made the past two years of my life much happier than I ever thought they could have been. But I don’t deserve you. And besides, seeing you – the way that you haven’t grown at all since I created you, although I now claim that you are fifteen years old – only makes me miss Barbara all the more. It was wrong of me to expect that you could have ever replaced her.

I leave you with the truth, and with my sympathies, although I know that they cannot mean much to you now.

Yours, in regret,

Dr. Devon Throckett

The note slipped from my hands, fluttering across the corpse on the floor.

I had never thought of my father as a madman, and I couldn’t bear to now. Perhaps he had taken some poison to end his life, one that had caused him to hallucinate vividly before death, and he had written out this letter full of gibberish in his last minutes…despite its measured tone, and the fact that his handwriting looked as steady as ever. He had taught me to always look for the evidence, and there was no evidence that he’d lost his mind, but there was also no evidence that I was merely one of his clockwork servants! Surely I would have noticed something like that…!

The itch in my skin, burning and crawling and gnawing, blotted out all rational thought. With a stifled cry, I yanked up the sleeves of my dress, dragging my fingernails along my forearms. I could see no rashes, no bites – the skin was creamy and flawless—

At least, it was up until a large strip of flesh peeled away under my nails, tearing away as easily as a husk from a cob of corn.

I froze, waiting for blood to well up, for pain to assail me. But neither happened. If anything, the itching had improved in the now-skinless area of my arm. And as I hesitantly lifted the wound to my face, I saw that what I’d revealed was not blood or muscle, but rather something…hard, much harder than flesh, and off-white in color.

Bone?

I pressed my fingertips against it. No, the texture was all wrong for bone. Much too smooth, flawless, manufactured…this was no natural substance.

This was porcelain.

[theadasave]

kavi’s house

NULL - 10/03/2017

"Aww. Still in a mood? Baby, baby, I'm sorry. Please take me back." He hovers after Kavi. "If it makes you feel any better, picture me in panties. It's making me laugh on the inside."

Barbor - 10/03/2017

Bor flies up to land on the counter top but they dip away from their path and only managed to land on the side of it, they were having a giggle fit all the way there. "Oh sweet satan I don't think I can unsee that now, pff-aahahah!"

Lunch - 10/03/2017

"I'm not taking you back until I'm finished changing! Get your pantied ass OUT of my ROOM!" Kavi tried to not imagine it.  They were TRYING to retain their foul mood and be all scowly.  Unfortunately, it's failing fast, so they're doing their best to get Bill out before they break into giggling.

NULL - 10/03/2017

Bill backs out of the room, but giggles manically as he does so. Manical giggling in panties. You're seeing it. He knows you are.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi slams the door shut, then breaks into helpless laughter immediately, slumping against the wood as they wheeze.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi emerges a small while later with some new clothes on, as well as a backpack over their shoulder.  "Right, good to go.  Except for the mental image that just scarred my psyche, of course.  Hop on up when you're ready, Bor!"

NULL - 10/03/2017

"Right, here are the locations!" A display opens on his "chest" area with the appropriate coordinates. From the cabins to the woods, apparently.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi leans in to stare at the ChesTV, memorizing it as best they can.

NULL - 10/03/2017

He displays some images of the areas as well, just be to sure.

Barbor - 10/03/2017

Bor isn't even paying attention,  this isn't their job to do they're just tagging along to sight see and grab some grub.  that's a half lie, they can't see the images, their vision both in bug and out is incredibly shitty

Lunch - 10/03/2017

"Right, think I got it."  Kavi waits for Bor to board on up, then lifts their right forearm.  They begin to trace a pattern of runes, mumbling soft nonsense words and frowning hard as they focus in and-- POOF.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi takes a moment from putting away groceries to step outside and SCREAM.

Barbor - 10/05/2017

Hears the scream and throws their voice to sound like it's coming from the forest, it almost sounded like it came from another human.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi RUNS OUT OF THEIR ROOM.  They still have some weed pajama pants on and an overly large t-shirt with a ghost that says "I'M HERE FOR THE BOO-S". "LET'S DO IT."

Barbor - 10/05/2017

Barbor jumped off from the second floor balcony and roughly headbutts the door open, their tail thrashing from side to side excitingly. "FUCK YEAH! THOSE SQUIRRELS ARE GONNA GET IT!~"(edited)

Lunch - 10/05/2017

"GRAB ON." Kavi shoves their arm towards Bor, ready and raring to go.

Barbor - 10/05/2017

The baph  dashes towards them and jumps in to the human's arms, sure they're heavy but Kavi has mechanical stuff attached to them, it shouldn't be too bad.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi's STRONK like Russian bull.  They heft Bor over their head and activate the runic inscriptions on their arm, poofing the both of them away.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

Kavi is outside with a huge grill and a huge smoker.  There's a fresh rack of unicorn ribs on the grill at the moment, drizzled in sauce and roasting away.  UNICORN COOKOUT.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The baphomet was sitting outside gnawing on a unicorn femur as they waited for those ribs to be done, and they heard of rumors of unicorn flesh tasting like your favorite thing in the world and boy they weren't kidding. "Oh man that stuff smells so goood~"

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Right? Man, we should've done this sooner.  Remind me to go on regular killing sprees, those steaks last night were the best thing I've ever had."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

snrk "Remind you?~ I'm gonna drag you along when ever I go hunting!~ But I gotta hunt more mythical beings though,  it's way more rewarding then killing the normal stuff."(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! What do you think we should try hunting next?  I've got a cool new weapon design I wanna try out."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"How cool are we talkin? like that sploody type of cool or something different entirely?" They tapped the bone on their chin in thought.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"I dunno.  Maybe a giant cyclops?  It's based on a bow 'n arrow, dependant on energy rather than a projectile.  Hoping it'll do less exploding so I can actually gather meat.  Maybe it'll even cook it in the process!"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The baph perked up their ears to hear that this new weapon could take on cyclops, even probably cook it "Damn that is pretty cool~... I'm actually torn between a manticore and that cyclops."

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Ooooh, manticore sounds cool too..." Kavi rubs their chin thoughtfully with one hand, the other grabbing the ribs with some tongs and flipping them over.  Sizzle sizzle. "Maybe we could take a look at some books and see what we wanna fight? Then we can make a list or somethin'. Maybe roll a dice to pick?"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The demon's nose twitched and wibbled as the smell of the unicorn meat filled the air again, "I'm not gonna lie, but it sounds like we're making a hit-list of some sorts and that's fricken cool.~" "Make a list of twenty and roll to choose? Sounds good. Though what if some mythical police starts noticing this? What do?"(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"I mean, I've never heard of any kind of mythical police.  Well, not any inter-dimensional ones, at least.  I should be fine here."  Kavi shrugs, pulling the ribs off the grill and plating them. Some corn cobs go on next.  Gotta have veggies! Plus, roasted corn is the shit, man.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Haha, nice!~ This place is like our nice little hide out, grazie vuoto(thank you void)!~" they cheered while motioning their bone in the air gleefully the demon's stomach grumbled and seeing the human guard the meat like this they huffed and crossed their arms.  Wait are they putting vegitables on the grill? EWW?

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! Plus I can use some of that unicorn hair, maybe? Iunno."  They shrug, turning the corn and banking the flames a tiny bit.

The grumbling stomach prompts a siiiiigh-- and they finally relent.  Kavi tears off half of the rack and tosses them to Barbor.  "Catch 'em!"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The demon's floppy ears lifted up  to hear the sigh and once those rib pieces start coming at them,  Barbor leapt up and caught the ribs in their mouth. "* Grazie Kavi.~*"  the ribs is gone bones and all, even the bones they were gnawing on is gone.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"So, what's that you're speaking, by the way?  Sounds a little familiar, but I'm not really recognizing the words.  Close to spanish though, maybe?"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"It's just italian, you were kinda close though, spanish and italian share a lot of similarities actually.~"  nod nod.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Niiice! Is that your original language?" Kavi pulls the corn cobs off the grill and moves to a nearby lawn chair.  They plop down with a hard cider, some ribs, and some corn.  MONCH.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

This is a good picnic, what's better then eating something you killed the day before with friends? Not much?

"Yeah! It is, my old mom and pop wanted to teach us both languages would help more then just knowing one." Bor chuckled and grabbed themselves a bottle cider of their own. "How about you dude?"(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Oooh, nice! Nah, I only know a bit of Latin.  Useful when dealing with demons and ghosts, y'know?  But I'm pretty useless when it comes to language." They give a bit of a sheepish smile, then start to tear into the ribs.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"That's still cool though!  I guess it means you can understand me when I say something demonic, hehe~" Bor took a swig of the hard cider, "I could teach you some more latin, well that's if you want it."

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Sure, dude! I'd love that.  Some Italian too, maybe? Then I can sound like one of those mobsters you wanna be." A cheeky grin is tossed towards Bor.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Hah, that'll be great! We'll be a couple of mobster goons working under a dapper ranch dorito~*" Snrk! it sounds so silly right now but these two just rallied some friends to kill some fancy horses for fun.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! I bet I could make us some tommy guns or something..." Kavi taps their chin and mumbles to themself, something about mechanics of rapid-fire energy projectiles.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Oh man, I remember using that on a person who thought it was a good idea to send a "message" to my dad by killing me and my sibs," the baph placed their hands on their cheeks and purred delightfully.  "That man was riddled with holes when we were finished with him, dude.~"

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Then we could do some real drive by's!  Pewpewpew!" Kavi mimes shooting a tommy-gun, using a rib bone as a prop. "You ever give someone cement shoes, dude? That's like, the one I always hear about when someone talks about mobsters."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"YES!~" they pound on the table but not enough to disturb the human eating, "Fuck yeah for real drive by's!!" "Oh the cement shoes? Kinda, I didn't do it per-say? I was there to see it happen though, but it was only only a hand full of times since my dad isn't fond of putting dead guys in water, he felt it might be too easy for cops to find the dead body if they're looking hard enough."(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Niiice.  I can see why it might be too messy, though.  Eventually the muscles around the leg will rot and the rest of the body will pop free and float away.  That, or a fisherman catches 'em." Kavi snickers at the thought.

Barbor - 10/07/2017

"Dude, that's usually the case and whenever one comes floating up in the river some of us would wonder 'Shit,  is that one of ours?'"  The demon cackles  before taking another swig of the cider. "But thankfully no fishermen found any, it still could be the case though!  Most were smart enough to keep their mouth shut."

Lunch - 10/07/2017

Kavi shakes their head, immensely amused.  "Can you imagine? Going out for a nice bit of fishing and BLAM.  You hook into some poor dead fuck's rotting nose holes and think you've caught the big one, then have the shit scared out of you when you finally land it."

Barbor - 10/07/2017

The demon was so close to drinking off the rest of their hard cider but they burst out laughing  as they imagine such a scene happening.  Sure they'd be scared shirtless of it playing out that way when they were human, although now it sounds like a great prank to use on a mortal when they're bored. "Kavi, holy fuck! That's hilarious!~"

Lunch - 10/15/2017

--- Kavi is in a kitchen that seems to have straight up exploded.  There's butter and sugar everywhere, at least 5 ruined pans in the sink coated in black ooze, and one perfect pan of delicious looking caramel on the stove. They're currently grabbing some pretzels and chocolate and marshmallows to dip in the caramel.

Barbor - 10/15/2017

Barbor trotted over to where the smell was coming from and when they got to the kitchen, the demon's nose was assaulted by the smell of caramel, failed attempts at caramel, and ingredients to make the stuff. They were so confused, what kind of cooking battle went down in here? "Kavi? Why do I smell butter on roof? How did you even manage that??"(edited)

Lunch - 10/15/2017

"Uhhhhh.  I might have taken some drastic measures with attempt number three to try and stop the damn sugar from seizing up.  And by drastic I mean really drastic.  Explosions.  I used explosions."  Kavi's wearing the tattered remains of a 'KISS THE COOK('S ASS)' apron that's still somewhat on fire, but they're positively beaming over at the baphomet regardless. "But I got it right this time! Dude, lookit that.  It's like, fuckin' perfect."

Barbor - 10/15/2017

The baphomet's constant smile grew a little bit, showing their teeth just a bit is a good indication that they were beaming over this too. Explosions. They used fricken explotions to make this stuff. "You're insane you know that?" bor said that in the most lighthearted way possible, they came over and took a pretzel to dunk it in the sause. They gave it a taste... their ears perk up in suprise. "YOOOO!~ YOU DID IT!~ This is spot on!~"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Pretty sure that's true in every sense of the word." Kavi gave him a very big, very cheeky grin, which quickly just turned into proud beaming at the praise.  "TOLD YOU, DUDE! This shit is legit!  I'm glad I didn't give up on that last try, this shit tastes amazing! Dude, try doing this--" Kavi grabs a pretzel stick and stabs a marshmallow with it, then dunks both of them into the sauce.  Once they're good and covered, they pull them back out and shove that straight into their face, dripping caramel everywhere in the process.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

The demon tilted their head curiously to see what they were picking up, it looks like it was a pretzel stick and...  A marshmellow!~ If this goat could do those sparkly eyes right now they would, it's really getting hard not to just shove their face into the pot itself.   "That's genius!~ I wanna try that~"

They picked up a stick and a marshmellow to dunk it inside the caramel, but instead of dunking the marshmellow part in the pot Barbor dunked their hand into it too along with  the snack. "...Shit." they totally ment to do that.(edited)

Lunch - 10/16/2017

Kavi cackles with amusement, reaching over and ruffling the top of Bor's head.  "Just stick your whole hand in your mouth, dude.  I'm not gonna judge you, I'd prolly do that too." In fact, they do that right now.  Grab a chocolate bar, stuff their entire hand into the caramel, then pull it out and shove that hand into their mouth.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Not getting reprimanded by a friend? Good shit right there!  If this place wasn't messy already the demon removed their hand from the pot and made a mess like how Kavi did before.  The goat demon was purring from having their head raffled but it got louder when they put their entire hand in their mouth along with their dipping pretzelmellow snack. It's hard not to nic themselves on teeth like barbor's but it's worth it the trouble for this yummy gooey goodness~

Lunch - 10/16/2017

Kavi's probably going to regret all this mess later but OH WELL.  They're having fun right now and that's what matters.  They show Bor how to melt a tiny circle in the chocolate by warming up the pretzel with some flames from the stove, then add it to the marshmallow kabob. "It's like a smore, almost!"

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Holy fuck, this human just blew this demons's mind! The demon took their hand out their mouth and exclaimed  "YOOO! What the heck! No 'almost' all smores are good, this one included!" "...Wait, what if we coat the entire thing in melted chocolate?"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Duuuuude! Hell yes! Let's try that!"  Kavi scrambles around for another saucepan, tossing a bunch of the chocolate bars inside.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

While Kavi is melting the chocolate, bor is getting the kabobs ready with the occasional crunch of a pretzel or two. "The smore kabobs are ready for dipping!~"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Chocolate is ready! I think! Good enough or whatever."  Kavi shrugs, then eagerly snatches up a handful of the kabobs and shoves the handful into the chocolate, though making sure their entire hand doesn't go in.  Shit's hot, yo. Then into the caramel it goes! There's some mixing going on now, but oh well. SHOVES THAT SHIT RIGHT INTO THEM MOUTH.  NOM."MMMM."

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Bor however used their telekinesis to lift up a glob of caramel and melted chocolate out of both pots,  the two orbs came together just as they spear it with the kabobs.  Regardless if the chocolate was hot or not the baph is gonna eat it in one bite. If this demon could melt they would right now, it's THAT DELICIOUS!~ They didn't say anything but let out a delighted whimpers and bleats.

Lunch - 10/16/2017

They're gonna get sugar highs at this rate, but Kavi don't care.  Kavi don't care about nothing right now, except this delicious shit right here.  SO MUCH FACE STUFFING.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Even with a bunch of molten chocolate and caramel sauces coated kabobs stuffed in their mouth, Bor wanted to try other snacks with it too. So this demon raided Kavi's cabinets for chips, and once they got the lays chips this beast just pours the entire bag in there! IN BOTH PANS!!

Lunch - 10/16/2017

GLORIOUS FOOD CHAOS.  Kavi cheers him on and shovels some of those chips into their mouth.  HECK YEAH, SALTY AND SWEET UP IN THIS MOUTH.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

This whole feeding frenzy was clearly getting out of hand AND ITS FRICKEN WORTH IT!~ They don't even smell the failed attempts of caramel around the kitchen, hell why would they waste the chip bag too? The baph dunk it in the chocolate and ate that too! Man the stomach aches is gonna be a killer after this

Lunch - 10/16/2017

This kitchen has turned to MADNESS.  Tasty, tasty madness.  They're probably going to both be covered in caramel and chocolate and various other unidentifiable food bits by the end of this.  Kavi already has somehow managed to get chocolate into their hair.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Jelly beans some how made it into this abomination of a snack fest, where did this goat get jelly beans and why is it sticking onto their cheeks?? They didn't even move from their spot and why is there so much chocolate and caramel sauce? Is this boi duplicating the stuff? THEY ARE! OH DEAR SATAN THEY ARE!

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi bursts out of their room and runs to the fridge, ripping it open.  Thankfully, nothing ever bothers to rot while it's inside their little domain, so all the food they'd made earlier can just be pulled out.  The only reason they asked everyone to wait a couple of seconds was because they have to shove all the dirty pots and pans off the counter and into the sink.  Eh....they'll get to them eventually.  Plus there's a few things that need to warm up. They lay out a literal crapload of food, using one of the weird gadgets in their belt to zap stuff like the pizza back into the 'fresh out of the oven' range.  You name it, it's here.  This is one serious spread.  But once again, nothing ages here, so none of it will go bad if it's not eaten.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Bor scampers in rather quickly, they knocked into a junk pile or a chair occationally while they'd head for the kitchen. And It seems that they were already ahead of the game, there was a big king sized chocolate chip cookie in their maw. The baphoment didn't really bother to eat it fully until he head made it towards the counter to pick up some soda and a good slab of peppered jerky cuz he needed a good chew once in awhile.

Snark MUNCH CRUNCH, there goes the cookie and full can of soda, and yes even the can itself.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill pops it and tosses his hands into the air. "Boy am I hungry! Ahahaha! That's a lie! Can you imagine? I'm just saying human things for fun." He floats over to the flood, eyeing it curiously. It doesn't appeal that much yet. Maybe once he's in a vessle that benefits from it that'll change.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

There's a crackle and POP as Ribbons follows Bill in, tracing Devro's ribbon to get her. She looks like a mostly normal human right now, thanks to her extensive glamour. "heya!"

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi rolls both eyes, offering a hand out to Bill. "Get in here, you obtuse.  The whole point of this was to let you try food, s'what we discussed, remember?"  The other hand waves to Ribbons, then reaches out to give the top of Bor's head an affectionate ruffle. "Heya folks, feel free to stuff your gobs.  I got booze too if you want it."

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Bor bleats a muffled greeting to Ribbons and Bill while they chew and gnaw on the jerky,   they're so glad that most of this stuff wont make him feel full any time soon.

NULL - 10/25/2017

"Oh right. Okay! This might take a minute since you've got anti-possession measures in place, but since you've shaken my hand before I should be able to bypass them." He takes Kavi's hand with a bright flash of blue flame, then melds into them, leaving a small stone statue of himself behind in his place....yeah this is going to take a while. (3 possession)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"thanks luv. booze's always welcome." Ribbons goes to grab some noms, zeroing in on any chocolate around.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi shakes Bill's hand, then zones out.  They try to help him get around the security they've laced into their body, but it's tough going.  ( 6 help ) Meanwhile, there's definitely chocolate on the counter! There's a giant pot of melted down chocolate right next to a vat of homemade caramel sauce.  Lots of little toothpicks surround it, with various things on the end to dunk in;  brownie bites, pretzels, marshmallows, angel food cake, frozen squares of cheesecake, popcorn.  You name it!

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The demon had an idea to get a medium sized bowl to put at least two or one of everything including a scoop or two of ice cream,  cuz they know they're gonna just keep coming back to the table for some more. After getting it filled they went in face first and chow down.~

NULL - 10/25/2017

It takes a while, but eventually, Bill's in! He blinks Kavi's eyes a couple of times and they turn a bright yellow with his very own slitted black pupils. A stiff, unnatural smile spreads across their shared face as he takes a few deep breaths and tries not to fall over. Their legs seem to help him keep steady, unlike the wobbly, fleshy legs most humans have.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Yep! The actuators and pistons in the legs work overtime to keep Bill standing. This doesn't keep Kavi from being extremely amused in the back of their own mind, though.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons takes care not to inhale food like most Doves would, savoring it instead. Hey she had two years of not starving. She has manners. Not to mention cheesecake-brownie-caramel is to be savored.(edited)

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill takes care not to snuff Kavi out completely. They're able to act if they please. This is co-op time, unless they'd rather stay in the background to avoid conflicting actions. He's practiced at this though, able to predict his host's actions through their thoughts and compensate that way. "Oh boy! This is still as fun as I remember." He gets them steady in front of the table and takes in the sight and smell of all the food. He's not sure where to start!

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

chocolate-covered cheesecake bite is offered by the chocolate fiend.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi had to take a little bit to get used to the sensations, mostly.  Once they've re-acquainted themselves with their own body plus one, they reach out and grab up a slice of fresh watermelon and take a big ole' hunking bite.   Chewed, swallowed, then they hand the reins over to let him try the cheesecake.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Cheesecake, bitten. He doesn't quite understand how to swallow with this kind of throat. Assuming that Kavi helps him with that, he manages with only a little trouble. For the most part, Kavi's preferences are passed to him. Same body, same taste buds, same chemical responses, with only a few exceptions. Bill is usually drawn more towards the sting spicy and sour foods more than his hosts.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The bowl of snacks they've made was gone in a matter of minutes and now they're refilling it with their favorite snack, fruit cocktail with the charries~ they got back into their roach body for this and plopped into the mini pool of the syrupy goodness.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"Booze is in the cabinet, I've got all kinds.  Feel free to make something for yourself, Ribbons.  Bor, what the fuck dude." Amused snorting. "Guess you're feeling cherry good in that." Kavi's not too fond of the sour, but spicy definitely seems to appeal to them.  Once they notice that Bill seems to like it as well, they grab a couple habaneros and chow down, then pass the reins fully over to Bill to check the reactions, grinning the whole while. (They also make sure to help with swallowing.  Gotta stay alive and all that. )

NULL - 10/25/2017

Straight peppers? Their eyes water up, and just when it looks like they're about to cry, Bill's laughter emerges from deep in their chest instead. It's a good laugh. An annoying laugh with some evil undertones, but when he's having a good time, everybody knows it. "Wow! Wooh... oh boy. Oops! Uh oh! Oh no!" He's laughing and wheezing, holding their gut all red-faced and a little... something else.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbon's eyebrows shoot up and there's maybe an ERROR or two flashing over her before she averts her eyes and goes back to stuffing her face. Cake? CAKE.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The little roachie chuckled at the pun and decided to throw one in for themselves, but they were cut off to see Bivi laughing up a storm, and to them it's  a type of contagious laugh to get them into a giggle fit too.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi's laughing too much inside their mind to do much of any directing at the moment.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Alright, so he crunches down on one more raw pepper, letting the seeds sit on their tongue and burn away at it before swallowing all by himself. As inexperienced as he is, he's a quick learner. "Oh man. Now that was something new. Is there anything else that hits that hard?"

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"OH OH OH! TRY THE GHOST PEPPER!~"  Bor screed while flailing their little legs!(edited)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"yeah, yeah that'll probably do ya if ya like that."

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"Oooh, I was gonna grab something else, but that's a good idea."  Kavi's back and grinning at Bor.  They go to the pantry and grab a tightly sealed jar.  It's popped open carefully, and one single ghost pepper is pulled out and popped into their mouth.  Whole. REINS GO BACK TO BILL.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Metal or not, those legs get shaky. Their sinuses start clearing out and Bill doesn't know what to do about that. FACE LIQUID? WEIRD. KIND OF GROSS. He sits down, plunks their forehead into the table, and makes some noises of intense mixed feelings.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi returns for one quick moment to request a napkin for the face liquids, pointing out the pile to Bor and Ribbons, then disappearing instantly.  Flop goes the arm.(edited)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons reached over to gently patpat Bivi's back. There there, you poor masochistic fucker.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Barbor is having a fine ol time,  who knew watching a dream demon's reaction to new hot stuff was so entertaining?  "Are you guys okay??"

NULL - 10/25/2017

"I'm great! Never been better!" As difficult as that was to say, it sounds sincere. He's doing pretty great. "I didn't think the point of eating was to experience extreme levels of pain, but hey! Who am I to complain?"

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"usually it's to experience extreme levels of pleasure but y'know, whatever floats your boat."

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"both is good! I ate some boiling caramel and that fuckin fun!"

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"It's not, I just thought your reactions would be hilarious.  And I was right!"  Sniggers, then stands and walks back over to the counter.  "Pain, pleasure, same thing.  My nervous signals are fucked to hell anyways.  One last thing to try..."

They grab a bottle of really really spicy cinnamon whiskey and chug.  Not the whole thing, but a few good swallows.  It probably feels GREAT in the mouth that just got tenderized by capcaisin.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"Hey can you pour some of that into the bowl here? it'd be nice to have this stuff spiked a bit!~"

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill presses a free hand to the side of their head and tugs at their hair a little. As soon as that whiskey's swallowed he's panting, lolling their tongue with watery, half-lidded eyes and a far off look on their face. This was weird from the start, but he's making it weirder, as he's prone to doing simply by existing at any given point in space and time. "More tingly stuff? That feels warm all the way down. I'm-"(edited)

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi sniggers after he's finished speaking, turning and pouring a little of the whiskey into Bor's tiny swimming pool. "Sure thing, my dude."  They set the bottle down, then that weird look returns as the reins are given back over to Bill.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons looks for something a bit smoother to mix in with soda. Rum and orange soda if she can find it.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"Thanks!~" Bor stood on a peach boat and slurped up the sweet and spicy mixture. "OOooh man that's yummy~."

Lunch - 10/25/2017

There's some nice Bacardi in the cupboard and Fanta in the fridge for Ribbons!

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill takes another chug of the whiskey all on his own. He's never been drunk in a human body before, and probably doesn't even recognize that that's where this is leading. Oops. His pupils fizzle for a moment then refocus with a smaller laugh that borders on a giggle.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

the bug lets out a small click while they're considering something, but after a minute of debating it the demon poofed up a bottle of Absinthe on the table. "hey try this too~"

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"oh boy. this oughta be good." She takes a good swig of hers. "oh, Bor, try this. tastes like an orange cream icecream bar."

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill lets out a sharp gasp! "It's my second favorite color!" He takes Bor's advice, the brilliant dumbass, and has a big swallow of the Absinthe. He likes it so much that he tucks the bottle against their chest. It belongs to him now. All of it.(edited)

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The moment she said orange cream, he was already flying over to ribbons and dipping their head into the cup. They gasped softly in amazement "T-This is great!!"  They dunk their head in again to take another sip

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi groans.  Ew, licorice.  "You're only allowed to drink that one while you're in charge.  Licorice tastes so bad."