#*not like i have been reading them in my head for the past 15yrs

[foxesonstilts]

listening to the havemercy audiobook so i can reread it while doing other things and i am enjoying it but the narrator is pronouncing things all wrong* and his voice acting for royston makes him sound about 60yrs old instead of late thirties t.t

[theincorrigiblegallovanter]

Lost

My life, what a wild ride.. I don't know where my life is heading, I never thought I would reach it this far.. to be honest when I was 30 and came out as a Trans woman I accepted my fate as living alone for the rest of my life and was content with being alone.. 12yrs later I'm finding that is a hard thing to do, I didn't think the years would be as lonely as they have been.

So now I am journaling recapping on my past like I have done so in my diary to leave a piece of me behind for someone one day to read and hopefully make them feel less alone in this world that is so overrun with human beings..

One of my earliest childhood memories I don't think I was even old enough to walk yet, but I do remember playing in my parents back yard, we had a banana tree and I found one of the pods and the purple leaf? texture was so smooth and the way it curled was so cool. Weird thing to remember but its a core memory.

The purple pod leaf?

I recall textures like a cabinet we had that had a wicker weave in it and I can even remember licking it odd how a memory almost 40yrs old can still seem clear. Our brains are capable of some incredible things.

My brain also recalls a lot of horrible things that I wish it didn't but they remain and I have continuously gone over them and wondered what I could have done to change the events.. I know now there was nothing I could have done and everything that did happen was well out of my control sadly. Trauma what a great thing the brain does, I haven't been officially been given a piece of paper to say I have CPTSD but its there. So many little traumas and so many that I have resolved but to what end.. it feels like for every trauma I had its replaced by another and another.

Nothing makes me feel safe any more, and people definitely do not help with that, I have always felt like an alien in this world. Throughout school I didn't feel like I fit in then in the early years of work I never felt like I fit in either. One thing I did know was that to fit in I had to mask to pretend that everything was okay and live a lie and pretend to be what everyone wanted me to be so I never got to be myself, not until I had the courage to come out and my wife at the time had given me that courage to feel safe enough to come out finally. She didn't handle it well and felt like I had cheated on her which is fair I was living in survival mode living everyone else's dreams but never my own.

If I had been born 10-15yrs later maybe I wouldn't have had to hide away and would have found my people, but now I don't feel like I fit in the friend groups of what I would call my people because I have been so socially adapted to being with the wrong people that I don't know how to communicate.

I don't know where this is going btw so if you have made it this far kudos to you my friend. I just need to type this shit out that is in my head, and what you are reading is literally what my mind does it jumps all over the place constantly so there is no continuity here.

When I first came out I was alone I knew no one and the people I did know mocked me and didn't make my life easy, I had no help from anyone and had to learn how to be me the real me for the first time. the me that was always wanting to be the punk gothic witch lesbian I knew I was.

I was wanting to talk about my childhood, it was for the most part good but I was always pushed into being a boy, I never wanted to be a boy, I hated being a boy I hated being forced to be a boy I hated having to do all the things that were expected of a boy to do just because so doctor decided he knew my gender from my genitals why can't they just say its a child with this sex organ instead of defining my whole being by it. So many kids would be better off working it out for themselves then being forced into a gender. I was told I couldn't do things I wanted because I was a boy, and to be a boy I had to be dumb I hated that I wanted be able to smart like the girls, I wanted to be pretty like the girls. I was lucky to have neighbours that had 3 girls and I got to play with one of them and we would play strawberry shortcake and smurfs and I got to do the things the girls were doing, that was my brief taste of getting to be a girl and I liked it, and I use to pray to god that I would wake up a girl all the time I would cry in prayer like jesus did to god to make it possible I wanted nothing more, and every morning I would wake up sad knowing that nothing changed and i had to continue to pretend to be something that I wasn't.. thrity years of having to live a life that wasn't mine thirty years just people pleasing, Im 42 now and still have family calling me by my dead name and misgendering me, reminding me of all the time they made me be something I wasn't they forced my life to be something that wasn't ever my own it was their's I lived for them and why? Survival it is all I ever knew.. just do as your told.. something I remember hearing a lot as a kid and being beaten if I didn't comply.

I got strong cause I wanted to be able to make sure that if I ever needed to fight my dad I would win, one thing he taught me well was to not fear anything which ultimately has made me a little incorrigible as me ex would say hence the tumblr name given to me by her.

Somethings growing up were blessing like being taught how to ride a motorbike, how to skateboard, mountain biking and bmx all the things I still love to this day.

Anyway I am getting tired this takes a lot of spell slots for me to type, I wll continue another day X

I don't know how tumblr works btw this is the first time using it my therapist said I should try it..

[paralien]

It’s been, and incredibly long time since I was last actively engaged in One Piece. 

Heck, I haven’t read the manga or watched the anime in at LEAST 2- 3 years; however lately it’s been all I’m able to think about. Isn’t it so funny? that even though I haven’t watched one piece in so long it’s still the first thing I start dreaming about when my head gets sick, because One Piece was THE most important thing to me for over 10 years. 10 years. That’s a REALLY long time. 

I still remember my old One Piece blog, and all the mutuals I had. I still remember crystal clearly the AU that was SO important to me back then too. Colour Outside The Lines. I still remember exactly how it went. How it started, how it’d ‘end’. I had most of it planned out to be a super long 100k fic. My blog was covered in it and I wrote One piece fics consistently and yet, after my old blog was deleted back in 2016 i lost most of it. 

Just, gone, suddenly. 

People and stories I had put so much love and time and energy into was gone in a second. I still have 2 of my fics up on my old ff.net account and reading through them again I feel such a sad compassion for my past self because they were GOOD. They are good. 15yr old me was SERIOUSLY good at writing and I can’t believe I was so afraid to write all the other AUs I had over fear that they’d be oc and people’d hate me. Looking back on it now as an adult it’s so silly because what? you had SO many people you loved within one piece. who loved you back. who loved your work. i don’t remember their urls anymore, but i do remember them. and I miss them so much... I miss One Piece, I miss the friends I had. I miss how PASSIONATE I was over One Piece despite the fact that I was dealing with the WORST depression of my life back then. I was REALLY sick, and despite all of that I was so PASSIONATE and CREATIVE and so desperate to be heard and seen and to engage with other people. 

I’ve been re-reading some of my old favourites now and I just- aw man... I miss it. I really do. All I’ve been daydreaming of lately is an extension of a AU I loved dearly and I just- I just miss one piece a lot, you know? and it might just be nostalgia beating my ass but- I just miss it. 

Despite it having been so many years, the strawhats still feel like home. and they still offer me an immense amount of comfort. idk what kind of adventures they’re up to now, but i hope they’re well. And although the knowledge i have of one piece may only be accurate from 2017 at the latest and back, it’s still fun to get lost daydreaming about it again. I’ve missed that. 

[phatpretty]

These niggas

Justin-baby daddy first sex partner got pregnant 15yrs old thought it was a relationship he was 18 I was 15 told me after I founded out I was pregnant it wasn’t his mother made me have an abortion-Trumatic moment kinda wished I had a choice in that matter

Jerry Clark-boyfriend who cheated had kids on me and I even had sex with him while he was in a whole marriage he choked me while I was sleep once talked crazy to me often treated as a sexual object he only came around at times and it was for sexual purposes only

Jerry Travis-started off good ended rocky throw me through a wall and choked me in front of my cousin who didn’t help me. Kicked door off the hinges after I was called over to kick it and a whole white girl was there said “i love you”

Jay bird-sneaky link only sex got caught by my mother having sex in here house 🤦🏾‍♀️

Rico-boyfriend (so I thought) really only sex went whenever he called was always there for me sometimes there for me especially when I was leaving my ex husband and when he felt like someone was hurting me he sometimes only came around when drunk and wanted sex mother didn’t approve the fought once and was sneaking to be with him too said “I love you”

Jason-ex husband started off getting high with the crew and he expressing his feelings while he would be in traffic finally linked over dinner and sex then one thing lead to another spent most of my weekend with him till my mom tried to stop it and I ran away from home got married pressed charges on my mom married maybe two days and was ready for it to be over. This relationship hurt me the most took things away from me that someday I feel I’ll never get back (like my true self) due to the fighting hearing lose knee surgery depression anxiety fears trust issues embarrasses easily if having to deal with shit publicly dated for many years after our married it’s was mostly based on sex tho after club hours mad shopping sprees said “I love you”

Cleveland-thought he was the one. Got engaged wasn’t based on sex made him wait verbally and mentally hurt me would say things that now I know shouldn’t not be said to anyone things like we need to go workout to get your body right or that I need some kind of help and told his family that I was sick meaning in my head sick went out of town for four days lied and said he left his phone charger only to find out he was laid up with random woman putting my life in danger didn’t properly end the relationship just stopped talking to me and I wanted answer that I never got

Valerie-🤦🏾‍♀️we was cool as hell started off as friends who tried to keep this thing private but living in the social media world how could you first girl experience ever sexual things where good until my baby died of sids and she founded him the next morning that sent our relationship on a down hill spiral she told me one time “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” my mom stopped talking to me during this relationship had a whole family gathering to pray the gay out of me I left and moved in with Val her family welcomed me with open arms said “I love you”

Courtney-loved me no matter what but I didn’t trust this bitch as far as I could throw her. We had mad fun always she moved in this relationship came right at the end of Val and I and it happened quick social media relationship for sure I felt fat all I did was eat but she loved all of my and still does but I was older and that was a problem and Kiki was no help cause she wants her back and would go to the ends of the earth to get her now where best friends who lean on each other in or times of need she still wants me but baby I’m 40 and she’s still in here 20’s at first it was based on sex then I just stopped having sex with her throw away everything she ever brought had a visual fight over fb with her and my cousin tan and crunchy got called childish for throwing the stuff away saw a msg from another girl in her phone she was still having conversation with her ex and still kicking it with her her mom played a big part in it as well always wanting something from me like money etc talks about wanting to do sexual things to me said “I love you”

Magic-just sex one time chynas baby daddy thought he was going to join in flirts but on a sexual level only

Shine Mello Tremaine-sexual situationships....

shine hit me up one night after 11:30 talking like his all concerned as to what I’ve been up too calling me beautiful sending cute snaps I pick him up we attempt to have sex but it wouldn’t stay hard🤣 next time we finally had sex at this point I’m out of my body I’m this other person playing this game would call to vent his issues I would help him work through the issues other times he came over he brought his kids thought he was going to trap out my house and my car started to call wanting rides then I just cut him off

Mello-the person I started the game with, game meaning the game of me wanting to know what the hype was behind these three clowns🤡 so went out and said some shit to him tremaine got mad and felt some type of way pushed me bruised my knee Mello txted basically saying what that mouth do pulled up on him showed him only to find out he had recorded it and sent it to his friends😮 shine mention this to me but tremaine confirmed it with many failed attempts his tried to slide back but has been lift on read

Tremaine-started with a fb video chat to seeing each other in RJ’s flirting catching a whole vibe chicken wing challenge🤣 to smiling and watching each other in the club to finally picking him up cooking for him talking hanging out one night to sexing each other for hours😮to me catching feelings to him thinking I’m bipolar to me asking what’s wrong with me him saying I’m to aggressive blunt when I talk to him i later apologized for that to him saying “so you gone suck my dick” took my heart right out of my chest I really thought he was my twin flame the vibe was unmatched it was unreal to good to be true even BOYFRIEND VIBES also while holding me asked me to just let go and don’t hold back

Big Tyme-sexual as fuck that’s it that’s all selling dreams getting mad when I didn’t answer my phone passed out boyfriend vibes when I didn’t have my own place was wishing I did so he could come set up show and trap

Lil Love-boyfriend at the age of 17 cheated on me with my cousin Kenya I spit on him and tried to burn him with a iron snuck out the house to be with him was with him behind my mothers back with several failed attempts has tried to come back

P.D-sexual when I was in my early 20’s

Chris Kendall-childhood crush I cheated on him very stressful relationship with kids involved plus a ex wife mother was all in or shit good times I knew it was over I cried about it kinda built on sex cause that’s how we linked one night after the club took him back to my cousins house said “I love you”

Rico Patton-one night stand

Darnell-sexual flirting lead to sex

Q-well meet him because I turnt his friend down (Murray state) played football I was getting high off coke🤦🏾‍♀️linked after a party me and the crew spent the night at they apartment had sex we linked and hung out maybe a few times after

Big Baby-sexual link that has turned into a sexual flirtation over pictures on Instagram to making plans to link to have sex again after 15 years has a girl I think still the sweetest txt to check on me

Lil Scrappy-flirted lied cheating having sex in his girls house when I had no clue of another woman put his hands on me verbally abusive fought a bitch for waking me up cause he was out in her car while I was in his bed

Terrence Biggers-years of flirting with me after ten years finally gave him some on the day my uncle died pure sexual

Lawrence Arnold-sexual hooked up once while I was in Murray state after a party for years have always felt like his my soul mate great connection

Cheese-sexual relationship dated for a few couldn’t get past the fact that his in to these modern day drug plus he has health issues mainly it was sex all the time we linked tried to get me to take a x pill left for many years only to resurface to think that after I had sex with him that he was back in no alter ego was still present and wasn’t going for it at all come to find out his a whole married man as well and also gave me a std

Jason dicky-head over hills for a whole criminal stole from me gave a std had a child that neither of us knew about sexual as fuck family stayed involved my mom stepped in forbidded us to be together we snuck around anyways my feeling didn’t matter

Siwel-sexual always wanted more thought he could be the one big ole cheater

 Ulysses-sexual sweet guy juicy lips

Ron Tharpe-dated when I was 18 always was so sweet behind closed doors mainly sexual never really had a public relationship linked back up but it was all about sex wanted kids with him thought it could be something f do founded out he was dating my cousin let that ass go

Deandre-recent clown ass nigga came in said all of what I wanted to hear typical street nigga bug broke as fuck Sarcastic af could have been something but was inconsistent going through his own personal shit sexed him twice kinda built on sex grabbed me in my face and told me “to shut the fuck up” in a club 😮do believe his a complete lyier was four mths out of a 14 year relationship was suppose to be hooked up with two other people but clearly he claims he didn’t want them no communication all started before his mom died claimed he loved me (lies) how after just three days 

[skywrestledabearonce]

I'm tired of age barriers and people saying that age gals are wrong and gross, so let me rant now. For my entire life relationships were nonexistent for me. Not because I was bad at them or ugly or whatever but because I have a hard time finding honest people to spill my soul to and still be accepted.

I grew up with boys older than me and they never seemed to be more mature..man children. I went through relationships with girls and women alike, both more mature in general but still not what I was looking for. Girls were always too needy and women were always too caddy. I didnt find love there but I sure dove down the rabbit hole of passion. I went back and forth between male and female relationships in my age group for a long time and didnt get anywhere past meaningless sex.

I started to feel lost in my age, my experiences, and my lack of. It wasnt until I felt condemned to loneliness did I start to really consider something alternative and frowned upon. I started seeing older people. Now I'm not talking 65 year olds, no graverobbing for me, but older can also mean 25 if you are a 15yr old, so it's all relative. And that's the thought that captured my imagination. The fact that age is relative, a through the looking glass kind of lifestyle.

I started fast, I went to my local dive bar, had a few drinks, and played darts until some hot milf stumbled my way and called me cute. I'd usually go home with her. Eventually my place quickened and I'd snag older women and men, 2 at a time some times, from the bar to go eat eachother in the next door outdoor hotel hottub afterhours. This was thrilling for me, feeling praised just for my innocence and lack of crows feet! That soon faded to shame as I realized how desperate I must have been coming off. Waiting at the bar every night like a lost puppy dog waiting on its master.

I took some time off from the bar scene after that, settled into my job. At this point my job was kind of up in the air as well, I was working at festivals as hired security in my time off to try and get a foot in the production. I shrunk back into my own head with psychedelic experiences and tried not to push my sexual agenda on the world. That was awesome and a great learning experience but it still made me feel lonely. Only after I had let go of sexual expectation entirely did I happen to meet the man I stand with today. I didnt know it then of course.

2 years of festival work and I finally got myself a position on the roof building crew, my boss was firm, build strong,and at times, very aggressive. He really wasnt my type. He was older, 36 to my mere 21, but he seemed light at heart. We worked alongside eachother for 2 days, me subtly building up my interest and the confidence to flirt. I didnt know where my interest had spawned, he didnt even have any tattoos! But alas I couldn't shake my feelings and I wanted to make a move but couldnt. I had done so much selfloating recently that I couldn't find myself attractive and thus could not project sexuality of any sort toward this person I was developing feelings for.

The other 2 gentleman that had been on the crew for years saw a bit of my struggle and out of their own self interests, invited me out to go dancing that night. I of course, pregamed with a half a bottle of tequila and half drunkenly guilt tripped the boss into heading out with us. He did, and I proceeded to very drunkenly at this point, dance all over him in a bikini and a fur coat until 3am.

By the end of the night our coworkers had realized who I had eyes for and did an Irish goodbye before I could follow them back to camp. My boss offered I stay in his tent since mine was a mile or so walk back and given my outfit, I obliged. That night, he didnt take me as a begging little girl or a drunk horny women. He looked me in my eyes and very meaningfully asked me if he could kiss me.

It was the most amazing feeling, to not judge them for being themselves and to not be judged in return. I'm sure that night I came off trashy and needy but he asked my permission as if I had a crown atop my head and a flawless track record. At the time I didnt know his age, not he mine. It was a moment shared between two people who met somewhere they both enjoy, they went dancing, and the made whoopy under the stars.

The next day he woke up and left early to get me flowers and a drink. When I woke up I thought he was gone, he found me walking down the hill back to my camp. He dragged me to his favorite hammock spot and we watched the sunrise together, swinging in the wind. Somewhere in all of it I started feeling inexperienced in comforts like this is and I tried to tell him my age, trying to shorthand myself before I even knew it. He said he knew already and that I had seemed an old soul when we met, he didnt care. He tried to explain away his age, as if he knew it would ruin it for me. It didnt. We were just two people, of any age, of no age, that met and fell in love because of our similar interests.

It took me another 2 years to come to terms with telling my family and friends that I was seeing an older man. Some of my friends called me golddigger and never spoke to me again. Some chose to speak about me behind my back and sour my reputation around my hometown. My family did the same. He was also abandoned by his friends and family, some of whom left us voicemails detailing what a "homewrecking whore" I was and telling me to go back to daycare. We felt so alienated by the people in our age groups, our friends, the ones that were supposed to get us and have our backs. The only time I felt listened to was with this older man and finally I just gave up.

I said "fuck em". My prince charming and I got a house together, share a dog, and a life and I finally made new friends that let me be me. I look back on days where I felt so lost in the social context of love and relationships and I'm sad I was too wrapped up in "socially acceptable" to get it.

Age is relative, I know that now. It's not about finding someone your age you can get along with and have kids with. Its finding that one soul out there in earth that gets you and likes you anyway. World experience can come to a person quickly because of troubled pasts, like mine, or slowely because of a sheltered upbringing.

Age doesn't make you wise, it's the experience gained in that time, the acknowledgment of one own successes and failures over time and time again. That means that people mature at different rates, grow faster than others, discover areas of themselves years before or after others even dream of trying.

Now I'm 25 and I have been with the same man for 5 years and counting. It's amazing.

We are 14 years and 5 months apart in age but we understand and love eachother deeply. That's all that counts. We have each others backs.

For anyone that took the time to read this, I hope yall gleamed the point here, being

DONT LET "SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE" OR "POLITICALLY CORRECT" DISUADE YOU FROM TRYING NEW THINGS OR BEIN WITH THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE WITH.

FIND LOVE WHEREVER IT FINDS YOU AND DONT LOOK BACK AT THE HATERTOTS.

THERE IS NO SHAME IN BREAKING THE MOLD, THE ONLY SHAME IS IN BEING MOLDED.

Have a nice day, I feel better now. Time for cake.

[katofdiamonds]

[TW: Saying goodbye]

48 hrs ago, we spent some time outside together for the last time. This morning, we had to say good bye. Today has hurt so much. Her imprint is everywhere and I know it will be with me always. It’s just a lot right now. I am thankful that she’s no longer in pain. She was barely herself these last 24hrs. This summer she would have been 15 and her kidneys just didn’t have it in them. Friday through Saturday I knew something was wrong and when she stopped purring yesterday, I think deep down I knew though I tried to convince myself otherwise. I’m so thankful that my father was there to help me in saying goodbye and I didn’t have to go through this morning with a stranger.

She was a goofball. She was spunky. And she was basically always by my side, many times literally.

There are pictures in this of her as cosplay supervisor on her red pillow I made, outside plotting to see if her harness would let her eat grass, and waking up from a nap because she’s dead weight cuddling on my hip.

Here are some way I already miss her.

I miss her waking me up via the dead-weight method.

I miss her waking me up via crunching paper, ruffling plastic, or cardboard box hitting when the first way failed.

I’ll miss waking up to her between my legs or behind my knees still soundly sleeping and looking betrayed at it being time to wake up.

I’ll miss her groggy look of betrayal whenever I was the one to end our cuddles first.

I’ll miss her coming to check on me every hour past midnight I’m still streaming asking when I’ll be coming to bed for bedtime cuddles.

I’ll miss her casually walking past the craft table as I past hours there like she’s not coming to check on me.

I’ll miss her sitting on my fabric in the middle of my floor when I’m trying to cut out patterns.

I’ll miss her zoomies and seeing ghosts.

I’ll miss her chitter noise at birds or squirrels out the window.

I’ll miss her waiting by the door for me to come home from either a shift at work or home from traveling.

I’ll miss her welcome head boop and then equivalent amount of hrs of shunning to the days I’ve been gone.

I’ll miss that first curl up in my lap telling me I’ve been forgiven for being gone.

I’ll miss her hoping onto the bed when I haven’t finished putting new sheets on.

I’ll miss her following me from room to room if not for cuddles but to just keep an eye on me.

I’ll miss her coming to give me cuddles when I’m sad or sick.

I’ll miss knowing exactly how, where, and when she wanted pets, skritches, and affection.

I’ll miss her comforting purrs and weight curled next to my chest at night.

I’ll miss her kitten green eyes that never truly yellowed out in her nearly 15yrs of life.

I’ll miss the way I could tell how much we were bonded through those eyes and through the love languages we developed.

I’ll just miss her❣️

14 years my companion. 14 years of helping me grow and growing with me through adventures 💖

Kona was rescued from a grocery car park in 2006 and I will forever be grateful to Casey for bringing her into my life. I remember Kona’s affection hidden away in the dorm closet and calling my dad to ask how to tell if a cat was pregnant. I remember thinking of adopting one of her kittens but Kona and I choosing each other instead.

14 yrs of moving between uni places and also moving out to Nashville with me. She travelled so well. That road trip to Nashville took two days with no true breaks and yet she crossed her paws and never made it difficult. I remember the nervous ridiculousness of giving her kitteh relaxant when we had to fly home to Colorado suddenly due to my car accident. I remember her reluctance to living with other pets and how much patience it took to cohabitate with other pets and how many times I picked “only childhood” because it was better for her even if it meant not living with friends. I am a cat lady to my core and I want all the cats but she was a street rescue and the importance of weighing her happiness against my whims forever changed me.

We moved back in with Auntie Amy for a couple years who has known her since our years at uni together and our first roommating adventures. I’m so thankful for Amy and her Kona updates on top of taking care of her while I traveled. Our loving teasing when Kona wanted to go outside but it was snowing and when she was temporarily renamed Donut a couple times due to the very few health issues she ever had.

Kona was so weird. She was as obsessed with trying to steal Spicy Nacho Doritos from me. She never reacted to catnip BUT would roll around in my wet bathing suits and towels and try to suck on my hair if it was wet with chlorine; that weird chlorine over catnip quirk was just one example of why we were a perfect pair. How many cats chase their tails on a semi-regular basis? She never played with “cat toys” other than the “red dot” but would play with hair ties, socks, sparkley craft puff balls, a random hoodie tie, and pattern paper cut free from the pattern; her toy preferences were upcycled.

She was also freaking beautiful. Her kitten green eyes stayed green until the end. She mostly didn’t like me taking her picture but obviously if it was during cuddle time, it was tolerated. I have so many pictures of her sleeping, it’s be creepy if it wasn’t completely understandable that I am a crazy cat lady. She also never left me alone for long. When living with roommates, if she wasn’t cuddling, she would position herself in a room to watch over us all. She could be grumpy towards other people as she didn’t want to share me but for the last few years, she would greet people at the door with a leg rub before coming back to be by my side. But still, unless I was gone traveling or visiting friends over night, she would have been by my side if not on me. She’d sleep on my chest as I edited YouTube videos or did homework. In the last few years she would look at me expecting to have one leg to herself if my laptop needed the other. As I got into cosplay, #helpercat was born. When I spent hours reading, purring would often be the soundtrack. On my side or by my side or sleeping with my arm claimed as hers, a piece of my soul will always me hers as for 14 years she was my most constant companion.

My heart is broken, my arms are empty. I know I will grieve and heal but I’ll love you forever, Kona.

[yezielmoore]

Book design project

Shot out to all tumblr writers!!! Hi! I have a project I would (really) like your help with, so if you're curious and can spare me a moment, please keep reading.

Couple days ago my teacher of "Producción Editorial" (editorial production in English) set us a task: we have to design a publication, either a magazine or a book of some sort. It has to be original in format if not content. Now, there are a lot of ways I could go about this assignment on my own and get a good mark regardless, but the truth is I don't want that. Truth is, the world is a terrifying and deadly place to be nowadays for a lot of people. It makes me wanna grab my kendo equipment and bash some heads until it starts making sense again. I can't do that unfortunately, because my weapon of choice is not the sword but, cliché as it seems, the pen. I tell stories. Or in this case, I help people tell their stories. That's what I want to accomplish with this project.

Another thing before I go any further: I know how creators are with their creations (being one myself). They are our beautiful/ugly/weird babies and we're fiercely protective of them. So I want to reassure you guys that this is a legit assignment (I can probably get my prof to write something to that effect). I'm not going to steal your intellectual property. Each story will be preceded by the name/pseudonym/internet handle you give me. My job here is to compile everything, edit the stories for grammar mistakes and design the book aesthetically (unless I write a story myself, then I'll be included in the list of authors, like all of you).

And at the end of this road I hope to have a pdf or eBook or both versions of this book, that as collaborators you'll receive, and that can be shared around freely and for free.

That said, let's do a Q&A of some of the questions I'd ask if I wanted to join this:

So what, exactly, are you going to do?

As I said, I'm going to design a book as if it were to be printed. Which is the reason I have to use original stories and not, you know, fanfiction (much as I'd like that). I will also have to design the cover, any Notes or Warnings, Table of Contents, edit and organize the stories according to the rules and regulations of formatting we've been learning in class, etc.

Will it be printed? Will you make money out of it?

No and No.

I wouldn't know where even to start with that mess. But more important, this idea began with a class assignment (and still is about that, I want to pass that class) and grew from there. I'm doing this because it's a challenge and because I want to. I want to spread these stories. And I want them to be assessible to everyone. I want variety and diversity because I want so that everyone who opens this book can find at least a kernel of representation in them.

So yeah, this project is non profit.

What kind of stories will you include?

I have decided that the theme of this book will be Diversity. Understanding by diversity this: "the inclusion of individuals representing more than one national origin, color, religion, socioeconomic stratum, sexual orientation, etc"

Equally important: I want positive (nice or not is optional) and respectful (not optional) snippets or stories about this amazing, huge and diverse thing that is humanity. I won't accept blatant bashing or phobias here. There is a difference between creating a well-rounded interesting villain (grey/sympathetic/evil doesn't matter) and the more common moustache-twirling cackling caricature of a person we normally see as the enemy, that are usually there to demean a character and elevate another. That's lazy writing.

Genre i'll leave up to you. Could be realism, fantasy, sci-fy, humor, anything. Write about pirates, space explorers, elves and dragons, stay-at-home moms, superheroines, uni students, blue collar workers, thieves, assassins, superpowers, whatever, your choice.  

Is there a character limit? Other limits?

Yes! Each story should be in between 500-5000 words. Why so short? Because I want to include as much variety as possible and there is a lot to cover. An example list of the characters I'd like to include off the top of my head:

a gay character

a lesbian character

a bisexual character

a pansexual character

an asexual character

a straight character

a transgender character,

a genderfluid character

a nonbinary character.

a black character,

a Muslim character,

an Asian, Latino, African, etc, character.

also a blind character,

a deaf/hard-of-hearing character,

a paralyzed character,

a mute character,

an autistic character,

a character with depression

a character with anxiety

etc

I want to include one (max two) stories about each of the bolded categories in the example list, or any other topic I didn't think of. Of course, you can write more than one character, but the focus should be on one of them or on a topic, idk, a protest in behalf of transgender people as a whole would go under the transgender character list.

The category I want to write about is not there.

Send me an ask and I'll add it (if it’s relevant to the topic at hand: diversity). The examples are not absolutes, I probably missed a few, some maybe didn't even occur to me. I don't have everything planned out, I'm still sorting out a lot of details in my head, so if I missed something, tell me. This will work only if we collaborate.

Will you include mature themes?

As long as it's not explicit I don't see why not. By explicit I mean, for example, a really detailed sex scene, a torture scene with all the gritty details, a blow by blow account of an abuse scene. You can reference these things and make it tasteful (for a meaning of the word) without getting into it too much. Also, there is a word limit, not really enough space for that kind of thing.

How will you chose which story to include?

First come, first served. Yes, really. I'll make a list of whoever signs up and when.

IMPORTANT: there will be a time limit though. Because I'm not pressed for time just yet, I'll give each person up to a week (7 days) to send me a draft of the story. Once that time is past, and unless you give me a really good reason, I'll liberate that spot and the person in question won't participate anymore.  

How do I sign up?

Send me an ask telling me which category/focus you want and I'll add you to the list.

Can I sign up Anon?

Sorry, but no. If this works I'll probably have to share my email with those that participate in the project, which I accept; that, however, is not the same as sharing my info with the entirety of the Tumblr jungle.

Extra:

Why did you write "Producción Editorial" in Spanish?

Because physically I live in a Spanish speaking country (Hola!). Most of the time I live on the internet though. Also, the English language is a filthy thief that (after a decade of study, now 15yrs) managed to steal into my brain and rewrote it so now my internal monologue is always in English. Lucky for me my professor says he doesn't mind the language so that's another reason I decided to branch out with this.

I think I covered the basics at least. I'll anwer any questions and edit this as necessary. I hope some of you will want to help me on this. Even if you don't want to or can't maybe you can share this with someone who will. So Thanks!!

 And now, Tag time!

@blackkatmagic, @redhothollyberries, @hiruma-musouka, @araceil, @esamastation, @helly-watermelonsmellinfellon, @roachpatrol, @definitelynotaminion, @tratserenoyreve, @loverofpiggies, @inukagome15

I tagged all of you because you're some of the writers/creators I follow and know best out of everyone around here. I'm not asking you to participate (although I'd be delighted if you wanted to, not gonna lie x3), but I thought that maybe you could share this or spread the word a bit if it's not too much of a bother.

Thanks everyone who reached this far! :D

[womenofcolor15]

#FREETIANNA: Online Petition & Social Media DEMAND Charges Against BLM Activist Tianna Arata Be DROPPED!

An online petition and the #FREETIANNA hashtag on Twitter is gaining attention as they demand charges against Black Lives Matter activist Tianna Arata be dropped. She’s facing up to 15 years in jail following a peaceful protest that turned violent. More inside…

The Internet is sounding off after Black Lives Matter activist Tianna Arata was hit with eight charges that could possibly land her in jail for 15 years. An online petition and the trending Twitter hashtag #FREETIANNA is demanding the charges filed against the 20-year-old youth activist be dropped because they believe she has been wrongfully accused.

Tianna now faces eight charges following a protest that took place in late July. On July 21st, Tianna was taken into police custody after a five-hour protest in San Luis Obispo. Six police officers surrounded her to put her in handcuffs as demonstrators watched and yelled at police.

A woman named Mel – who claim to be friends with Tianna - shared a video of Tianna being arrested by police "for peacefully protesting alongside myself and our community” with the #freetianna hashtag. Check it below:

THEY KIDNAPPED MY BEST FRIEND OFF OF THE STREET. NO RIGHTS WERE READ. SPREAD #freetianna https://t.co/C6QdpivvpF

— mel (@melissayumm) August 10, 2020

The online petition states Tianna’s arrest was unjust and noted the SLO PD left out important facts to paint a specific narrative:

The subsequent press release from the SLO PD on events leading up to the arrest omits important facts to create a false narrative depicting the protesters as promoting violence. Tianna and other protest leaders have led numerous peaceful protests over the past several months. It's clear that the SLO County District Attorney and SLO PD are using the arrest of Tianna as a political statement to try and suppress their first amendment right to protest. Tianna’s arrest and charges were unjust. Our community should come together to support her and her family. Protect our young black lives movement leaders right to protest and demand that the district attorney not pursue any charges against Tianna Arata. Our young black leaders deserve to be heard, seen, and supported.

According to local news outlet The Tribune, police asked District Attorney Dan Dow to file eight charges against Tianna, including four felony counts of false imprisonment, one count of felony conspiracy and three misdemeanors. She could now be facing up to 15 years in prison.

A tentative arraignment date has been set for September.

As of Monday afternoon, more than 100,000 people have signed the petition. You can find it here.

The way the police waited till we were alone with a few friends and rushed and took my best friend in front of my eyes, in front of her mother it was traumatizing. They used excessive force Tianna could barley keep up with the 6 grown men forcing her to the car.

— mel (@melissayumm) August 10, 2020

”My best friend is being charged with 8 charges including 5 felonies,” Tianna’s friend Mel tweeted. “For peacefully protesting alongside myself and our community. There was no riot it was a beautiful peaceful protest filled with Black and Brown joy.”

I am traumatized, even hearing loud noises triggers me. Now imagine how she feels. Her life and future is on the line. She dreams big and has plans for her future. Do not let this small town take that away from her. Tianna is the sweetest, most passionate, and loving person I kno

— mel (@melissayumm) August 10, 2020

”I am traumatized, even hearing loud noises triggers me,” she continued. “Now imagine how she feels. Her life and future is on the line. She dreams big and has plans for her future. Do not let this small town take that away from her. Tianna is the sweetest, most passionate, and loving person I kno”

It’s unclear what lead up to the incident. SLO PD claims protesters damaged the rear window of a car, causing broken glass to fall on a 4-year-old that was sitting in the back seat. The hood of the car was also reportedly damaged. Mel tweeted that’s not the case. She said a car ambushed Tianna’s body almost hitting her:

The cars window who was hit by a skateboard was done AFTER The driver RAN INTO PROTESTORS. SLOPD IS TRYING TO PAINT THERE NARRATIVE OF A RIOT. THERE WAS NONE. Continue to tweet #freetianna and #TiannaArata We need as much attention as we can get. Tianna’s future is on the line.

— mel (@melissayumm) August 10, 2020

Here’s a clip from the alleged incident below:

#freetianna there was NO imprisonment on the freeway and the car that “had a 4 year old in the back” ACCELERATED INTO PROTESTORS FIRST. the freeway portion of the march was peaceful and occupying the roadway does not give ANYONE the right to use a car as a DEADLY WEAPON!!! pic.twitter.com/fHMsQ4vU2d

— nicole huffman (@nicoleahuffman) August 10, 2020

The Tribune’s editorial board requested District Attorney Dan Dow’s office to drop the charges against Tianna:

"Asking the District Attorney's Office to come down so hard on Tianna Arata smacks of vindictiveness and is only going to further divide our community," the editorial board wrote.

"If police wanted to teach a lesson to civil rights protesters who blocked Highway 101, they should consider it mission accomplished. They have already made a sufficient example of Arata...by arresting her in a public show of authority and accusing her of a variety of crimes," they wrote. "Now, they're just piling on, asking for four felony counts of false imprisonment and one count of felony conspiracy, plus three misdemeanors."

"Charging Arata with serious felonies for what is essentially an act of civil disobedience is absurd, especially in a progressive city that stresses tolerance, sensitivity and diversity," the editorial board said.

Word about what’s happening to Tianna is spreading quickly on Twitter. People have been tweeting up a storm in her defense:

#FREETIANNA a black woman named TIANA ARATA is about to be in prison for 15 years because she held an peaceful protest.

A BLACK WOMAN IS GOING TO PRISON FOR 15 YEARS FOR HOLDING AN PEACEFUL PROTEST

Fuck the land of the freedom! This is racism! This is corruption!

RT THIS pic.twitter.com/bDtIgEZGSK

— / blm acab (@crystalzmethyd) August 10, 2020

no matter what the cops do to try and silence the protestors, it wont go unnoticed, sign this petition to #FreeTianna because all she did was participate in a peaceful protest and now she could be facing up to 15yrs in jail!! https://t.co/iKKzWI18fF

— aj (@KHARASZN) August 10, 2020

#FREETIANNA #TIANNAARATA. SAY IT BACK. LETS MAKE HER NAME TREND WITH #FREETIANNA TO PUT IT BACK ON THE TRENDS. ITS GETTING PRESS NOW. https://t.co/L3akXiP3im

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 10, 2020

#FREETIANNA i was in the same protest she organized and she always advocated for a safe and peaceful protest and vehemently rejected any form of violence or rioting throughout the protest, she is innocent and our local county’s PD are trying to ruin her life. FREE HER!

— carlos (@carlosrobnson) August 10, 2020

SHE HAS BEEN ORGANIZING PEACEFUL PROTESTS FOR MONTHS IN SAN LUIS AND LEADS US IN BEAUTIFUL SONG WHEN OUTSIDERS TRY TO SPARK TENSION. DONT LET OUR COUNTY PAINT HER AS A FELON!!! THE CHARGES ARE UNSUBSTANTIATED #FreeTianna #BLM pic.twitter.com/fKMu9EhWKE

— nicole huffman (@nicoleahuffman) August 10, 2020

TWEET #FREETIANNA, PUT THIS EVERYWHERE. DO NOT LET @SLOSheriff GET AWAY WITH THIS. https://t.co/z6UOTSTwSC pic.twitter.com/oDHhY948vY

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 10, 2020

            View this post on Instagram

                  Day 2 - I need you to understand why I’m out here making myself so visible. As a white womxn and comrade, I have no interest in your “thank yous” or any sort of recognition in this movement. I am out here because many Black leaders in our community are not currently able to be out here. So many are being surveilled by SLO PD, Tianna in particular to an extreme extent. I am out here because Tianna is NOT a pawn, she is a 20 year old brilliant, kind young Black womxn with hopes and dreams. SLO PD and other white supremacists and racists are trying to destroy her future, and we can’t let them. We cannot, I will NOT let them. I will say it for all of you in the back: you can drive by and yell racist things at me all you want, flip me off, etc.: we will still be out here reminding you that if you aren’t fighting for her, you need to go check your racism. . I am also out here because yesterday a womxn announced her candidacy to run for SLO city council. Do NOT be fooled by Abrianna Torres’, she doesn’t have Black folx’ & other POC’s interests at heart & I beg of you not to vote for her if you care about our Black community. She is supported by a known white supremacist in the area who has used extreme hate speech against Black leaders in this movement. She has support of businesses like Ambiance, who we have already seen how they have treated protestors. She has told a Black youth leader in this movement that his privilege was a choice. If you live in SLO city itself and want to run for city council to represent the interests of Black folx and all minorities here in SLO county, please head over to @communityroots.project and speak to them, the deadline is August 12th. I know this seems like a very big thing to do, but we truly need candidates who are with us and care about the Black community. . P.S. Thank you to my new friend who showed up to protest with me today. Thanks to you, our turnout increased by 100%! Just a reminder that all it takes is one person to keep speaking up, & you can be that person. I don’t care if you are out in your front yard, on a corner with your family, or anywhere. Be visible & show up for Tianna.

A post shared by Karissa (@nochickennuggets) on Aug 1, 2020 at 8:23pm PDT

  HAPPENING NOW: Demonstration in support of local activist Tianna Arata who was arrested following a protest in July. Community members calling on DA Dan Dow to drop the charges against her. pic.twitter.com/unRJ8Mxp9H

— Megan Healy (@HealyMegan) August 8, 2020

In addition to the online petition, a GoFundMe account has been set up to help pay her with legal fees. The goal amount was set for $10,000 and they've exceeded that goal, raking in over $33,000. All of the remaining proceeds will be donated as bail funds for other social justice activists.

Photo: YouTube Screenshot

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/10/freetianna-online-petition-social-media-demand-charges-against-blm-activist-tianna-arata-