#*likes how mikan turned out

[glazeliights]

sleepover! (+bonus panels vvv)

[shadowthief78]

Do I start writing the sprawling and overdetailed reader insert for bllk that lives in my head or, as they say, do I wallow in my daydream like a pig in the mud?

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #5: CADMIUM COLORS

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

Once again, welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, I wrote a whole diatribe about my OCs while talking about I Wish That I Could Fall, and today, we're eating paint! Cadmium Colors featuring Soneji of Project Mikan!

Consider this a content warning: this post will discuss the pandemic, struggles with mental health, and suicidal ideation/attempts. I'm hoping it'll ultimately be uplifting, but the discussions at hand are incredibly heavy, and it wouldn't do this song right to be vague. Please be warned.

---

Let's talk about COVID.

At the beginning of 2020, I was in the midst of a long-term break from making music. It wasn't completely cold turkey, and I might not have even called it a break if you'd asked me at the time, but things were dire. I was still dealing with the burnout I'd sustained from the making of Autumn Every Day; I'd had my ego bruised by a live performance at a house party that went so hilariously bad it'd hurt even the most stoic performers (imagine watching an entire packed room of people clear out in 5 minutes flat from the already hyper-exposed vantage point of being on stage in front of them and knowing you single-handedly caused that lol); I had just moved across the country, and was preoccupied with trying to make ends meet as a 22 year old dealing with pure adulthood for the first time.

I was working a shitty minimum wage job at a discount clothing store I will not be naming, slogging through late-night shifts that wouldn't get me home until 3 am some nights. I had friends and roommates, but they were all just as overworked and exhausted and dealing with their own shit as me. I was mentally ill and unmedicated. Suicidal ideation was rearing its ugly head at my lowest moments.

Then, as I turned 23, a global pandemic shut the world down, my grandpa died with me being unable to attend his funeral, and I had a catastrophic mental breakdown that suddenly turned the voices in my head into a deafening cacophony of self-inflicted malice.

In hindsight, I think being 23 kinda just does that to you

---

Fast forward to 2021. I was back at my retail job with the pandemic raging in full force, my sense of self was held together with duct tape, positive self-talk essentially didn't exist for me, and I was the loneliest and lowest I had ever been. I was working the fewest hours I could get away with, and still, almost all spare time I had was taken up either by work or by my recovery from it.

This was around the time I got an email from Crypton, of all places - the people that make Hatsune Miku, for anyone uninformed. They wanted a remix of the song Happy Synthesizer for a Digital Stars compilation. I could not for the life of me tell you how I lucked into this or why they reached out to me of all people, but they did, and I was deathly determined to prove myself worthy of it.

This was August of 2021. I was staring down the barrel, languishing in what felt like only half of a life, fantasizing about death and trying to twist my thoughts into something that could at least keep me blearily shuffling forward another couple days. It was untenable.

(I'd also recently been diagnosed with OSDD 1b - this is a whole can of worms I can't really open until we talk about Breeze Blows, but it's important to at least mention that coping with this was a significant part of this turnaround.)

It's melodramatic, but I had only two options - make things again, or die.

I finished that remix within 24 hours of getting the stems, and I will gladly toot my own horn about it - it's really fucking good, in my opinion. Bittersweet ended up coming together in a mad dash over the next couple months as well. I was making music again.

Even though I was exponentially busier, things paradoxically got easier. I made the creative process a priority in my life, and not only did it give me an outlet for everything that had otherwise been eating away at my soul, but it struck a chord with other people who had been struggling as well. Things just... started getting brighter.

So I kept making music and living and yadda yadda blah blah here I am. This is all a lot of words and very personal stories of mental health struggles to say this:

One: The line between being an artist and being one of countless people forced to work jobs that go nowhere, that put their life at risk, that force them to strip parts of themselves away - it is a faint and transparent line built on circumstances of class and privilege and luck. Making Art and being an Artist aren't magical elevated states of existence, but something anyone is capable of if given the space to nurture their creativity. I believe the world should be a place where any person can do this.

Two: It's easy to convince yourself that art is meaningless in the face of the world at large. And yes, revolutions aren't fought by poetry and paintings, and people aren't fed through songs. But art is a source and a medium for connection; Art is how we find beauty in a disorganized and entropic world; Art is what we come home to and what words we write and pictures we paint and songs we sing to remind us that people matter to us and love is real and life is worth fucking living. Maybe that's corny and stupid, but it's true.

Three: So help me God, I will never work retail again in my entire life.

---

This is another song that is heavily inspired by artists like Prefab Sprout, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and other artists of that ilk - very 80s, very flowery and sentimental lyricism, focused on telling a story. I greatly admire songs that aren't afraid to paint otherwise banal or ordinary scenes in abstract reverence!! I wanted the verses to contrast heavily with each other in that way, with verse one's relentless poeticisms (prosaic practice of depravity) and idioms turned on their head (suspending innocents above their disbelief) against verse two's incredibly straightforward depiction of a factory worker's circumstances.

The flowery language might have worked against me somewhat, though! I've seen a lot of folks that thought the ending was darker or much more defeatist than I intended, and while some of that is just inevitable with a work of art, I want to be clear.

Translator's note: this means "don't kill yourself, you idiot"!!

As you may have picked up from the previous post in this series, this song does heavily feature a leitmotif or two predominantly performed under pudgy pretenses. I'm not going to go on that whole novella-length spiel again, but rest assured knowing that this song, too, is one that makes me think about my OCs. Since it's something many people missed, however, I will take a moment to point out that this song quotes none other than Autumn Every Day off of my album of the same name!

Painting and visual art have been something of a reoccurring obsession of mine in my own art. I grew up around visual artists, have always been friends with many visual artists, and generally have a really intense love of it as a medium and a mode of expression. However, there's also always been a sense of... well, I don't want to call it jealousy, but it's jealousy. I've tried many times to start making visual art of my own, and I have made some things, but it's been a struggle, and I worry sometimes that my eye has permanently outstripped my ability.

However, in my quest to toss out grand expectations and simply have fun making art, I did recently pick up a cheap little drawing tablet! I'm excited to be a beginner at something artistic again...

Finally, I want to thank a couple people: Soneji of Project Mikan for the gorgeous, soaring saxophone solo; friend_xp for the mindboggling MV editing; and especially my good friend Que for the GORGEOUS painterly art that goes along with this song! Que's style was just perfect for this, and really tied the whole thing together immaculately!! There's no joke or deeper lore or anything I just fucking love Que's art go follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And with that, I think this post is complete!! If you have anything else you wanna know about, ask away in the replies! Tomorrow will be Breeze Blows with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!!

MAKE ART AND BE GAY

[lanawrx]

Hi!! Can I request obanai and sanemi (separate) x reader who's like mikan from Danganronpa? I saw your one with zenitsu, and I adored it! I also wanted to ask could you write about the reader falling into an awkward position (as mikan does) and like how the boys react to that, possibly some NSFW? *Wink wink*

Thank you! :D

Obanai Iguro and Sanemi Shinazugawa with Reader who acts like Mikan Tsumiki

I couldn't fit the NSFW part im sorryyyy!! but ill def write a separate nsfw part 2!

a/n: hell yea, I had a feeling y'all would like these "reader w ___ personality" type posts lol. hope you enjoy! feel free to send more requests ^w^ (edit: obanai is so damn hard to write for. sum1 dm me and explain the substance behind obamitsu😭)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡

Obanai Iguro

You were the other head medic of the Butterfly Estate, having trained and learned with Shinobu when the previous Insect Pillar, Kanae Kocho, was still around. After Shinobu rose up to claim the pillar position, you remained her right hand and became an unofficial field medic to the pillars during particularly risky missions.

You had trained hard to assist the pillars during missions, and when you first met Obanai, the air crackled with tension. He was a stoic man with a gaze that could cut through steel, and the way he held himself spoke of countless battles fought. But the moment you stuttered an introduction, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, he frowned in irritation, his annoyance palpable.

“I-I’m y-your medic,” you managed to stammer, and you could see the impatience flaring in his eyes. Your apologies spilled from your lips, each word making his frown deepen until he turned away, a low growl escaping him. It stung, and you wished you could disappear.

However, fate has a strange sense of humor. During the mission, while Obanai was distracted, a demon lunged at him from the shadows. Without thinking, you rushed forward, pushing him out of the way just in time. The creature’s claws grazed your arm, but you managed to stabilize Obanai before he could react.

“W-What are you doing?” he snapped, but the irritation faded as he realized what you had done. Your hands shook as you helped him back to his feet, but the moment of annoyance was gone, replaced with something more profound.

When the battle was over, you knelt beside him, quickly assessing the damage. You felt a surge of panic when you noticed the deep cut on his arm. “I-I’m so sorry you got hurt! I-I should’ve been more careful!” Your voice trembled, guilt washing over you as you cleaned and patched his wounds, tears brimming in your eyes. The shame of seeing him injured because of your reckless bravery crushed you.

Obanai watched you, his irritation melting away as he noticed the sincerity behind your tears. No one had cared for him like this before, and a strange warmth bloomed in his chest. “You… care that much?” he asked softly, and you nodded, wiping your eyes.

“I-I just feel so terrible! It’s my fault you were hurt!” You choked out, the sobs breaking free as you buried your face in your hands. But Obanai, surprisingly gentle, reached out, lifting your chin to meet his gaze.

“Stop that,” he said, his voice low but firm. “It’s not your fault.” As he spoke, his heart ached for you, realizing how deeply you felt for him. He didn’t want to see you in pain anymore, not for him or anyone else.

After the mission, things changed between you. Obanai became protective, his demeanor shifting from annoyance to a fierce desire to shield you from harm. He snarled at any man who dared to glance your way, and though it made you flustered, there was something reassuring in his possessiveness.

One fateful day, while you were tending to some recovering demon slayers at the estate, a series of unfortunate events unfolded. You were called over to offer refreshments, balancing a tray of cups and a jug of water. But as you approached, your foot caught on an exposed root, sending you tumbling forward.

“Ah!” you cried out, the tray flying from your hands. Water splashed everywhere, drenching your clothes and leaving you exposed and vulnerable.

Obanai happened to be walking by, his heart racing as he saw the scene unfold. His eyes widened in horror when he realized you were on the ground, soaked and in tears, surrounded by the gawking demon slayers. In an instant, he surged forward, covering you with his striped haori, his anger igniting like a wildfire.

“What the hell are you doing just standing there?” he roared at the onlookers, his voice echoing with fury. “Help her, damn it!” His protective instinct took over, and he began barking threats, ensuring everyone knew they would regret not assisting you.

As you sat up, shaking with humiliation, you felt your heart sink. “I-I’m s-sorry! I-I didn’t mean to cause a scene!” You cried, and the tears flowed freely down your cheeks, your embarrassment overwhelming. Obanai’s expression softened as he knelt beside you, his gaze fierce but filled with concern.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he assured you, his voice low and steady. “It’s okay.” He helped you to your feet, then led you inside the mansion, calling for Aoi to bring tissues and clean clothes.

“I just… I showed everyone such a horrifying, disgusting sight,” you sobbed, unable to meet his eyes.

His heart shattered at your words. “No,” he whispered, cupping your cheek with a tender hand. “You’re not disgusting. You’re everything to me. Those idiots outside don’t deserve to see you. I don’t even deserve to be in your presence.”

The weight of his words enveloped you, and you felt a flicker of hope amidst the shame. Obanai leaned in, placing gentle, bandaged kisses on your forehead, his touch igniting a warmth in your heart. “You are so much more than you realize. I want you to see yourself the way I see you.”

He didn't even feel worthy of you, feeling so undeserving because of his filthy blood. But he wanted to be your rock and make you see how he saw you. How you should see yourself. You were everything to him. And he wanted you to feel how much he cared for you, just as you had for him during your first mission together.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

You first met Sanemi during a training session at the Demon Slayer Corps headquarters. It was your first day, and nerves fluttered in your stomach like frantic butterflies. You had always been the type to trip over your own feet and fumble words in the presence of strangers. But you were determined to prove yourself.

“Sorry! I-I’m so sorry!” you squeaked as you awkwardly navigated through the bustling crowd of Demon Slayers. A knot formed in your stomach when you spotted Sanemi, standing at the edge, his aura both intimidating and electrifying. The moment you made eye contact, you felt a jolt, a mix of fear and awe. He was the Wind Hashira—intense, battle-hungry, and undeniably handsome, though his rough demeanor often overshadowed his features.

While trying to maneuver around him, your foot caught on an uneven stone, sending you tumbling forward. Your heart raced as you prepared for impact, but instead, you collided with his chest. “Oh, n-no! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to—” you stammered, your cheeks heating up as you scrambled to your feet.

Sanemi’s expression shifted from surprise to irritation. “Watch where you’re going,” he snapped, though his tone lacked genuine malice. Beneath his sharp words, you sensed something softer—an unexpected flicker of concern hidden in the storm of his frustration.

“Y-yes! Of course! I’m so sorry!” you babbled, bowing your head repeatedly, half in embarrassment and half in desperation to escape his piercing gaze.

As you turned to leave, you heard a low, almost amused growl. “You should probably work on that clumsiness if you want to survive,” he called after you.

You nodded vigorously, your heart racing. “I will! I promise! I’m really trying!”

Days turned into weeks, and your encounters with Sanemi continued to be marked by awkwardness and your apologies. You found yourself drawn to him despite his abrasive nature. Each time you stumbled, each time you found yourself at the mercy of your own nerves, Sanemi was there, his sharp words cutting through the air but somehow comforting in their familiarity.

One day, during a sparring session, you were focused, determined to impress him. Sanemi had been pushing you harder than usual, wanting to test your limits. “Keep your guard up!” he barked, his voice a mix of frustration and encouragement.

You nodded vigorously, trying to keep your concentration. While practicing a series of footwork drills, you overcompensated on your pivot, losing your balance once again. You found yourself falling backward, arms flailing.

“Ah! Sanemi!” you shrieked as you fell, bracing for impact.

But instead of hitting the ground, you collided with him again. This time, your bodies tangled awkwardly, and before you knew it, you were both on the ground, his body pressing into yours. Your face felt like it was on fire, and all you could think about was how embarrassing this was.

“Get off me!” he growled, trying to extricate himself from the awkward position. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and you couldn’t help but notice the way his usually composed demeanor faltered.

“I-I’m so sorry!” you babbled, scrambling to sit up and pushing him away gently. “I didn’t mean to! I swear I’m not trying to—”

Sanemi let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his spiky white hair. “You really need to watch your footing,” he grumbled, though there was an unmistakable hint of amusement in his eyes. “What are you trying to do, knock me out with your clumsiness?”

You felt a mix of embarrassment and a strange thrill at his playful jab. “I’m just... n-not very graceful!” you managed to mumble, feeling your heart flutter at his closeness.

As the days passed, the pattern continued. You would find yourself accidentally in compromising positions around him, and each time, his reactions grew softer, almost protective. During one particularly exhausting training session, you tripped while attempting a high kick. Instead of falling backward, you stumbled forward, colliding into Sanemi’s chest once more.

His arms wrapped around you instinctively, steadying you. “You really need to learn how to fall,” he murmured, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine.

“I-I’m so sorry! I’ll try harder!” you stammered, your heart racing as you looked up into his purple eyes. He looked down at you, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

“Just… don’t overthink it,” he replied, his voice softer than usual. “You’re too tense.”

The tension between you both grew with each clumsy encounter. You often caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t looking, a strange mix of annoyance and affection playing across his features.

One afternoon, while you were supposed to be practicing your forms, you miscalculated a step and stumbled forward, your sword slipping from your grasp. In a frantic attempt to catch it, you dove for it, but in doing so, you ended up rolling into Sanemi, who had been watching from the sidelines.

You both fell to the ground, you landing on top of him, your face hovering inches from his. His eyes widened in shock, and you could feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” you blurted, scrambling to get off him.

“Damn it,” he grumbled, his voice low and gravelly. But there was no anger in his eyes, only that familiar warmth that made your heart flutter.

“Why do you keep doing this?” he asked, a hint of amusement creeping into his tone as he propped himself up on his elbows to look at you.

“I—I don’t know!” you stuttered, flustered. “I really don’t mean to!”

A moment of silence hung between you, and for a second, you both just stared at each other. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and the weight of his gaze sent your heart racing. Then, with an unexpected softness, he smiled. “Well, at least you make things interesting.”

You blinked, taken aback by the compliment. “Y-you think so?” you managed to ask, surprised by the warmth blooming in your chest.

“Yeah,” he replied, his tone lighter now. “Just try not to land on me next time.”

As your training continued, your unintentional falls turned into a source of connection between you two. Sanemi began to approach your mishaps with a level of patience you never thought he could possess. Whenever you stumbled, he would catch you, guiding you back to your feet with a smirk, making light of the situation.

“See? You’re getting better already,” he would say, shaking his head with mock disbelief. “Just keep that clumsiness to a minimum.”

Though your heart raced with embarrassment each time, there was a comfort in knowing that Sanemi’s reactions weren’t purely irritation. He cared, and that realization made each accidental fall worth it.

A rough, hot-blooded Hashira who, despite his abrasive nature, was slowly but surely falling for the clumsy girl who had stumbled into his heart.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡ Thanks for Reading! ˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

[theamityelf]

Makoto in Dr2 au: How does Makoto shift the dynamics between students? Are there any unexpected friendships with Makoto acting as the catalyst? Are certain people nicer, or more guarded? Who's presence does Makoto specifically seek out at the beginning? The end game trio is definitely Hajime Chiaki Makoto (with Nagito lurking about), but I imagine that he would've hung out with Fuyuhiko/Hiyoko/Peko at least a couple times (or tried to). Maybe Makoto even managed to befriend them on some level before their chatacter development/death/both. He's friends with Byakuya and Kyoko, he obviously doesn't mind prickly or cold personalities.

Also: do Hajime and Makoto both have gambling and/or gifting habits, or is it just one? In case of the latter, which?

(Despair disease Makoto is so funny here, I genuinely can't get enough of it.)

I love it!! Great questions. And thank you for enjoying Despair Disease Makoto, lol.

(Masterlist for my Makoto in Other Killing Games AU's)

Makoto's social presence: Okay, so in one of my posts, I said that Makoto initially becomes friends with Mahiru, and I definitely think there's a chance for him to (maybe accidentally) fall into an older brother role with Hiyoko (see this post) and a younger brother role with Akane (since she's strong and has younger siblings to compare him to). He makes progress getting to know Peko before he makes progress getting to know Fuyuhiko (and also his progress with Peko helps him get close to Fuyuhiko). He gets along very well with Chiaki, though it's not really emphasized until later. What I'm basically saying is, I think he's going to be either a protectorate or pet to most of the girls in Class 77.

He still does his best to talk to everyone as much as he does in THH, but the way the group sees him, at least initially, is as Mahiru's little helper and Sonia's polite little gentleman and Ibuki's chew toy, etc. (It's not romantic on the girls' part pretty much at all; Makoto is attracted to some of them, but in the same way he's kind of attracted to Sayaka, Chihiro, Hina, etc. in THH.)

Kazuichi is jealous, and Fuyuhiko is lowkey grateful that someone else is being infantilized.

ALSO, because I believe Makoto should be allotted one incredibly important overheard conversation per killing game, I want to say he hears Fuyuhiko and Peko kind of alluding to the nature of their relationship in private, and he keeps this to himself.

The way this looks in practice: A lot of the time when Mahiru is chastising the boys for not doing something or another, she'll make a point to add, "Except Makoto. He's helping me carry groceries, so he's excused," or something of the sort. At a point, Fuyuhiko starts doing this, too. Like, "You guys make me sick! Except the kid, I guess."

Also, I imagine Makoto always immediately looks away when Mikan does her fanservice tumbles, and Mahiru approves of that, too. All the girls do. (I'm not saying that Hajime is staring, like, out of perviness; I'm more saying that Hajime doesn't have an immediate "Yikes! Her thighs!" reaction that Makoto, in my mind, would. Like, for example, when Akane says "Hajime, you can touch my boobs if you want," his reaction is "H-ll no." I think, given the same offer, Makoto would kind of stammer a little bit before turning it down. Kinda startled, ya know.)

The girls get protective when Teruteru flirts with Makoto. Ibuki will straight up cover Makoto's ears, like, "No! Protect the innocent ears!" Makoto is kind of bewildered by the treatment, because he's not that much younger than any of them, but he just kind of goes with it.

Mikan actually does fewer fanservice tumbles because now Makoto is the clumsy guy and she gets to fuss over him and tend to his scrapes. This actually weirdly facilitates some semi-positive interactions between her and Hiyoko, because if Hiyoko ever sees Makoto injured, she'll call for Mikan (albeit while peppering insults in there), and Mikan really loves being needed.

And on the other side of it, when it comes time to suspect him for things, people (especially Kazuichi) will often bring up, "Why do you think he acts so innocent?" "Why do you think he went out of his way to get the girls on his side?" And he's just like, "I don't! I didn't! It just happened! I don't know why they treat me this way, either!" Meanwhile he's holding everyone's beach bags and Akane just wordlessly tossed him a bottle of sunscreen.

Kazuichi has tried to imitate Makoto's behavior, but his opportunistic spin on it just puts people off.

The way this affects the canon social dynamics: I've read a really fun fic where having Makoto in SDR2 caused Kazuichi and Gundham to become friends (The fic is called "A Change in Variables: Makoto Naegi", by Keroshroom; it's great.), but here Kazuichi still very much opts for Hajime as his go-to guy friend. In the same way that he canonically considered Nekomaru unqualified for the Chapter 2 beach house outing because he "can't keep a secret", he would probably say Makoto is "in too deep" or "too close to the opposition".

Basically, Kazuichi is not close to Makoto, but he might be closer to Hajime than in canon as a result of Makoto, since Makoto is someone else to distrust. Inexplicably from a different class, inexplicably appealing to girls, and eerily similar to Nagito.

Mahiru, Hiyoko, Mikan, and Ibuki gravitate together as a friend group, first of all because canon says they were a friend group at school, and second of all because Makoto takes the edge off of the things that would otherwise have slowed that development down (like the animosity between Hiyoko and Mikan, as mentioned above). It starts as them "borrowing" Makoto from each other, and then at some point they're actual friends and they're telling Makoto to give them privacy to hang out together as girls. (Which is around when he transitions from between being primarily Mahiru's friend to being primarily Hajime's friend.)

Peko and Fuyuhiko might be able to hang out together openly. Of course, it depends on how all the death stuff goes, but there's at least a good chance. If Makoto knows about them and is chill about it, it might allow them to chill a little bit, depending on how Other Things play out.

I think Sonia and Gundham progress at the same rate as canon, as do Akane and Nekomaru.

He might deliberately create a bond between Sonia and Fuyuhiko (because they're both leaders; they should talk about that!) and Mikan and Akane (because if Mikan likes taking care of people who are often injured, she should hang out with Akane more!), and maybe Ibuki and Gundham (many reasons; this post is getting so long). I can't help thinking that, in Chihiro-and-Mondo fashion, at least one of the connections Makoto creates ends in tragedy.

The gift-giving thing: Oh boy, you have no idea how much I've wished there were some difference in game mechanics between the protagonists here, lol.

What I'm going with is, they both do it, but Hajime is doing it in an "I keep finding these stupid Monocoins and there's nothing else to do with them" kind of way, whereas Makoto is doing it in a "Great, another Monocoin for the MonoMono Machine! Those gifts are a great icebreaker," way.

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 97

Smile by Kayleen756894

Same as when we covered Burning Lungs, check the tags for this fic before ya jump in cause it gets pretty dark even within the first chapter. 

It’s a big day for the project people, I mentioned back on Day 60 that there were three fics that I consider directly responsible for this entire thing since they’re what set me on this path of a comically large amount of Junkan. And today we FINALLY talk about another one of them, even if I admittedly did cover a little bit of my history with this specific story during Day 60 for the sake of context. Apologies if I repeat myself a few times!

The previous few days I’ve been covering fic first, then the art. For this day however I’m going to cover the art first, along with any other bonus facts I have, and THEN i will do my best to adequately sing the praises of today’s stories.

Also let it be known that the music I put on while I read through the whole fic in preparation for today’s ramble was “LEASE” by Takeshi Abo. 10 hour loop too. Someone will find that funny probably, maybe even you!

(This is another long one, get ready)

Before I address the art I might as well have a little fun and discuss the order I decided to do these in, interesting I know.

Days 91-92 were easy, the first Soft Fic and the first fic to use the Non-Abusive Tag, they had to be the opener. Day 93 was one of the longer stories so I did that one first, since I did read each story before working on the art. From there it’s a pretty simple pattern of “Short Fic followed by a longer, more serious fic that I gotta psyche myself up for.” And it was done pretty much with todays subject in mind, but we’ll get for it. 

You’ll notice I have two different art pieces today, the reason is simple. I wasn’t very happy with the initial art, so I made a much more direct adaptation of a scene from the first chapter to go with it. And in a rare instance I can also bring you some early versions of the initial piece!

From the initial sketch you can see that this was supposed to be a proper cover for the story, as I wanted to feature scenes from each of the three chapters, that middle shot is one I’ve had in my mind since the first time I read the story. Those who have read the fic can probably recognize each one. The second image was almost the final version of this. I scrapped the lower portion of the art for a few reasons. The flames of burnout were miniscule but still present, though rest assured these would not come into play until after the point of when the fanfic art is all finished. Secondly, when I was supposed to work on this art, a power outage hit my house. This also meant that in terms of making the art I only had the first chapter read, anything else was purely memory (Like I said though, I read the full fic for todays ramble, rest assured). And thirdly, I kinda, just thought it didn’t look good? And as you can see this version had details cut despite how far into the process it was, fully removing the expressions outside of the two smiling. Cause y’know . . . “Smile.” Plus in retrospect the eyes, while striking compared to the rest of the art, look kinda fucking silly?

Why didn’t I like the end result? Honestly I think I was just in a bad headspace at the time due to the combination of the power out stressing me out, and just generally speaking my mental health has never been the most structurally sound aspect of myself. I’m good at drawing, not so much being well put together. Looking at it now, while I think the piece is a bit esoteric and might not be what I’d make today for a piece based on this fic, I like it a lot.

And at the end of the dead even if I didn’t like how the first one turned out, I’m pretty happy with it! Even with perfectionist brain bitching at me that I could have done Junko’s hair a bit better at the given angle. Just a straight adaptation of Junko and Mikan’s first kiss from Chapter 1. The most interesting note on it’s creation is that I had to make last minute changes to Mikan because I realized her hair needed to be a lot shorter and more well put together, as earlier in the fic Junko does fix it up a bit. 

Oh! I did also send the second pic to the author herself as a way of introducing myself and showing appreciation, so that’s a bit of added sentimental value! Kayleen’s an absolute treat by the way, super fun to talk too, great insight on writing, you should absolutely check out the rest of her writing! I’m not in most of the fandoms featured say for RWBY, but based on the quality of her writing on the Danganronpa side of things, I feel confident recommending anything she’s published in the past, present, and future!~ 

Speaking of writing, I should probably like. Talk about the god damn fic, huh? Well. Nope! I still have more fun facts!

I almost didn’t adapt Smile! I knew for certain that Kayleen needed a spot on this list, it would have felt wrong otherwise. And there were two fics in mind for adaptation.

“Smile”, obviously, and “Soft (But only for Her).” My earliest plan was going to be to just do both. However I only had 8 days to work with, and spoilers, Day 98 is in fact a returning author, so I didn’t want to take up half of my slots on two authors, I wanted to show my appreciation to as many as I could during this string of the event before going back to my own stuff for the last two days. So I thought it over, and decided that Smile was too important to pass up on this project, leaving Soft (But only for Her) for later.

I did have a full plan for it though, unlike Smile where I didn’t really have an idea going into it. I’ll tell you what the plan was gonna be.

Most people would be curious which of the around 30 wonderful one shots I could have chosen to adapt, I’ve already done one of them with the very first chapter in that collection! However you my audience, are not most people. There’s a good chance you’re reading this paragraph, rubbing your temples and resigning yourself to the fact that I was very much going to draw art based on every single piece of that collection. Because yes I was just gonna adapt all of it. Was gonna make a big collage out of all of em, even the chapters that have so much angst I struggle to even read them cause they make me too sad! I’d still do it too. I probably will. When you least expect it. 

For now though I really wanna draw something based on Chapter 25 when I have the time. I wanna draw art based on a lot of other fanfics actually, I’ve just been pretty swamped. But rest assured, to those of you who’ve written a Junkan fic and weren’t featured. Rest assured, I have my eyes open, I’m always looking that tag over, and there were definitely some stories omitted that I really wish I could have included IN the project. Give it time. My self control grows weaker by the day!~

Okay, okay. NOW, I should be able to talk about the fic. Probably.

So I’ve told this story before, but now you’ll get to hear it in a bit more detail compared to before. Will hopefully not be too repetitive for ya’ll!

So once again we jump back a few years during say, 2020, MAYBE early 2021. I find a fic that includes Junkan when I was simply trying to find Ikuzono. It ends up being pretty cute and makes me curious, “I thought this ship was super toxic? How is this one so cute?”

So, I look around the tag, still not sure how to Navigate AO3 even after gaining a lot of experience through the power of many late night tokomaru binges. And as you already knew or could guess, I came across Smile.

At the time it only had 2 chapters, which normally might have turned me away at the time, I wasn’t a desperate animal like I am today. However I guess I either ignored that, or just didn’t care, too curious to see what else this ship could entail.

So here I am, sitting in my bed, writing this ramble, trying to figure out once again how to talk about one of the fics that set me off on this obsession with Junko and Mikan as a softer, loving couple. That and also a fic that is much more serious in terms of its tone and content, as this fic, like Drowning, is one of the only fics in this stretch of the project that is definitely set in the main canon of DR. Serving as essentially a new origin for Junkan as a couple prior to the tragedy. 

I’m sure I’ve said before that when it comes to how I view Junko and Mikan’s relationship, that Val’s work is basically the primary blueprint for how I interpret and portray them. However that’s for the Non-Despair AUs, while there is some bleed over in how I handle Canon portrayals (And I admittedly haven’t done a lot with a serious interpretation of that), in my brain this story, Smile, is the blueprint of how I view a canon timeline version of Junkan. That might just be bias from it being the first fic I read that like, but it does kind of help that this is just one of the most excellently written interpretation of these characters I’ve ever bared witness to.

The first chapter was originally supposed to be a Standalone according to the Author’s Notes, and it really works as one! It’s a very complete story that’s super well put together, and ends very satisfyingly if you just stop after finishing it. I’m extremely glad it continued, as I don’t think my obsession would have come to fruition when it did if not for those following two chapters. But maybe I’m wrong cause this fic certainly knows how to hook you on a ship!

I was god damn mesmerized reading the first chapter. This has to be one of the saddest takes on Mikan’s character that I’ve ever read. Burning Lungs comes close however we never get to actually see things from her perspective, that’s all from Junko’s outsider point of view. Here we get to see it all from Mikan’s perspective, all of it, the sad stuff, the extra sad stuff, the stuff I don’t really know how to talk about because I’m inadequate with this kind of subject matter. And some gay panic, because it’s not Junkan without at least a little gay panic somewhere in the mix.

Junko is really god damn good in this first chapter, she’s god damn good in the whole fic but we’re talking about chapter one right now so i’m specifying. She has such a mysterious aura around her the entire time, and not just the obvious “Oh she’s planning the tragedy behind the scenes,” but also the mystery of how she feels about Mikan! It’s something left up to viewer interpretation in the first chapter, and to a much lesser extent the following chapters (I say lesser extent cause it does eventually lean into her having real feelings for Mikan, just being super confused by them. At least that’s how I look at it). Everytime I read one of these stories that serve as an origin point for these two’s relationship, it’s always really interesting to see how things initiate. It’s pretty much always Junko initiating of course, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fic where it was Mikan who made the first move? If there is I’m having a severe lapse in memory it seems, or I’ve misinterpreted! The point of course being I really like the way Junko handles things here, saving Mikan from her darkest point, all that good shit! 

And the kiss? I drew it for a reason, it’s amazing. From the buildup to the way Mikan has a rare instance of boldness and grabs Junko’s tie? The grabbing the tie part makes my brain explode, the fact that Junko herself was surprised by it is even better. I love it whenever Mikan can actually get Junko surprised or flustered. It’s great!

I feel like I should be more detailed, more meticulous, but it really is a struggle trying to be in depth when discussing something this good, I wouldn’t consider it my strong suit? 

So let’s try moving onto chapter 2! I do at least have a story with this one but that can be for when I finish desperately trying to talk about the chapter itself. 

It’s lovely! Big shock! We get to see the two of them just acting like a normal couple for a bit, and even better we get to see the two partaking in some sleepy cuddles. That scene also does one of those Junkan things I fuckin love where Junko just, fucking reads Mikan’s mind. I know that’s not what she’s doing but also it’s funnier to put it that way. I just like Junko putting her analytical ability to use by reading Mikan and understanding her finer details. It can be used in all kinds of ways, cute ways, funny ways, saucy ways, but this might just be my favorite way? Her being able to tell when Mikan’s about to spiral and snapping her out of it quick. 

Their date is lovely by the way, love the drive there, the conversation is just a treat. And I really like the reference to the grenade scene from the DR3 anime, I might not have fond memories with that series like, at all, but that one clip of Junko tossing the grenade and Mukuro (We’ll get to her) catching it is just a really fun bit of energy. It’s also just fucking funny because it reads like they practiced that shit for like 2 fuckin weeks- Sorry, distracted. Anyway I think the scene is both a fun reference, and another good way to kinda remind of us the darker parts of this storyline underlying the softer surface. Junko is in fact trying to burn the world down, she just also happens to have a tooth rotting-ly sweet relationship with a very sad nurse. The moments where Mikan unintentionally peers into that world, whether hearing an explosion or seeing the red roots of Junko’s true haircolor, I love it all!

Great moment with Mikan helping that kid from bullies, always love to see Mikan flourishing in these stories (foreshadowing)! I think it is very funny that the small child just immediately clocked that Mikan and Junko were dating, the kid either has a crazy gaydar or Mikan and Junko are the least subtle people alive . . . okay yeah it’s that second one.

The following scene is great too, fuck those parents, and fuck yeah to Junko coming in for the clutch as she is one to do in this fic. The kiss to follow? Fantastic. Junko’s joke about exhibitionism? Also fantastic. The part where Mikan says she’s gonna go see her parents- Fuck.

Okay so, I’mma make the assumption that if you’re this deep into my ramble you’ve probably read the fic already. And if you skipped out on the fic due to the subject matter noted in the tags, you can probably already tell by my apprehension that everything in this fic from here on out is like, the opposite end of the spectrum from all the sweet (albeit ominous) stuff we’ve had up till now. And you’d be correct, and I quite frankly don’t know how to talk about it, like, at all. There are parts of this that I do wanna talk about from this and the following chapter, but also I feel neither confident nor comfortable explicitly discussing what happens to Mikan here. Even if you can probably already tell.

Still, I must show my respects to the literature and it’s author, so I will do my best. Apologies if I fumble here.

I’m still not gonna talk in depth about Mukuro here, but I do like the conversation leading up to this scene, before Mikan shows up. It’s something that was going to inevitably come up, because yeah, Junko can make Mikan fall deeply in love with her, but that won’t exactly prepare her for being complicit in the apocalypse. There’s a part of me that’s curious what her gameplan was before the end of this chapter happens, how was she going to try and turn Mikan over to her side 100% and make sure she’s ready. The world will never know.

Junko’s great at the end of this chapter, not just the comfort she provides. But the way she, in the words of the story, Snaps. That line? That stuck with me when I first read this. I think it’s the moment that confirmed for me personally, that yeah, Junko does love Mikan even if she doesn’t understand it. And it wasn’t just that moment that stuck with me, it was the whole fic by this point.

That’s right, it's story time. So when I found this fic, there were only two chapters. And I wanna remind ya’ll that before this fic I read a fic so silly, soft, and fluffy that it made me question what this ship could be. Jumping from that, to this was definitely . . . Whiplash?

What happened after that is fun, because I don’t fucking remember. I think unironically the amount of stress that ending put me under just from the shock of it, made me fuckin black out?? Which by the way, huge kudos, it takes some really fucking good writing to get me so invested that I get real life stressed as shit because of bad things happening to the characters. But anyway, I didn’t actually just, black out from stress. But everything after that is so blurred that it’s borderline incomprehensible, I try to remember past that point, and it’s like looking at memories put through a paper shredder before being put back together by a toddler doing a handstand. 

All I can say for sure is that starting from the morning after, I was obsessed. I woke up, and kept fucking checking to see if Chapter 3 was out yet. I hadn’t checked the time of the latest update, I still barely fucking understood how AO3 actually worked. I’m pretty sure it was through this fic that I learned that when a fic updates it moves to the top of the page for a given tag. This was also way before I had an AO3 account, so I couldn’t just subscribe or bookmark it. I’m sure I read other fics at this point, probably including Kayleen’s other works? But the timespan between Chapter 2 and 3 feel like white noise, whatever I read didn’t exist in my memories by the time that story ended. And god damn did it end.

When Chapter 3 popped up, it was late I’m pretty sure. I don’t know what I was doing at the time, maybe looking at manga online, talking with friends over discord dms, failing homework over online school, maybe even doing some of my own writing since i’m pretty sure this was back before my passion for it died out. Whatever it was, I dropped it fucking IMMEDIATELY. I needed to see this ending, I needed that catharsis.

So I layed in my bed, in a house I was still new to, and read the god damn chapter.

It was perfect. One of the first times to my knowledge where I’ve had the satisfaction of reading an unfinished fic and getting to actually see it end.

Where do I start, what do I even say? Anything I say just kind of boils down to “Junko and Mikan are perfectly written and I love their interactions and also god dammit I feel so bad for Mikan.”

The scene on the rooftop is great, I remember in one of Kayleen’s other fics Mikan shows concern for Junko’s eating habits, so getting to this scene and seeing the reverse was nice. And like, god, Junko’s so good in this. I get she’s trying to start the end of the world but she’s doing such a fucking good job here. Sure, she asks Mikan to kill her parents right after this, which might not be the most normal way of helping your girlfriend through a severely traumatic experience, but that’s just Junko y’know? 

Should I talk about Mukuro now? I should probably talk about Mukuro now, I really wanted to wait like one more scene but fuck it we’re talking about Mukuro now. 

Have I ever really talked about Mukuro in the context of Junkan? I know I’ve definitely made note of her, and I’ve obviously included her in these pieces with varying degrees of prominence. But I don’t think I’ve ever noted how I think she’s is one of the most interesting and amazing assets of Junkan as a ship. Calling Mukuro an asset feels like a disservice, but I lack the words to adequately describe what I mean here. 

The Despair Sisters are already one of the most interesting dynamics in Danganronpa, and a pretty versatile one at that based on the various interpretations I’ve seen of these two. And I think adding Junkan into the mix is just lovely, because it adds an outsider perspective, but not just that, it’s the outsider perspective of someone who’s closer than anyone else due to Mikan dating Junko. Bonus for the contrast of Junko pampering Mikan and shit talking Mukuro, even if I believe that shit talking is just a very layered way for Junko to express that she does care about Mukuro as a sister. 

And I think Mukuro and Mikan is a really fun dynamic too! I love the idea of Mikan finding love through Junko, and then in turn getting a second person in her life that cares about her. Mukuro being Mikan’s bodyguard bare minimum is great, protect that sweet little nurse you desaturated girliepop you. But I think the way their dynamic can evolve overtime as Mikan continues to date Junko is great. 

Mukuro getting to see firsthand how Mikan is changing Junko for the better, even if it’s in a canon timeline where Junko’s still like, very locked in on the apocalypse. She’s getting to be happier in a more genuine way, which I’m sure Mukuro would be grateful for, and that just makes her caring about Mikan’s wellbeing all the better.

Plus like, something I don’t think about often, at least not until very recently, but if Junko and Mikan are dating, and inevitably get married. That does just kinda mean Mikan and Mukuro are sisters in law. And, I fuckin love that? Mikan not only gets an amazing relationship with Junko, but she also just gets to have a sibling, something that to my knowledge she doesn’t have in canon. It’s that found family stuff that I love, even if the found family in this case is a bit more literal rather than just being a metaphor. And Mukuro gets a new sister, one who cares about her just as much as Junko, but is just significantly better at expressing that by comparison. I think Mukuro would really appreciate having a sister who like, hugs her without slinging an insult, or just getting any kind of open, visceral appreciation without having to read between the lines. 

I love to see Mikan with plenty of friends, she has a bunch of dynamics that I appreciate. But I also have a lot of appreciation for the idea of Junko and Mukuro being the only people she cares about, the only people she needs to survive. 

Where was I- Oh right.

Kayleen’s depiction of Mukuro and her dynamic with our other two primary characters is amazing. Spectacular even. Fucking perfect perhaps. It does everything I love about the Despair Sister’s dynamic without bordering into uncomfortable territory like some facets of the main canon does. But what I especially love is her dynamic with Mikan in the few moments we get to see them interact. A protector, a friend, and eventually a sister to her, it’s amazing. The scene when Mikan wakes up to Mukuro watching over her while Junko is away is phenomenal, and I love Mikan’s concern for her given the way Junko treats her, which does look pretty bad without the deeper context. The moment at the very end of Chapter 2 where Mukuro just heads off to (I assume) kidnap Mikan’s parents after just sharing a look with Junko, it’s another one of my favorite bits in that scene.

And of course, the scene that lead me to start yapping about Mukuro like that out of fucking nowhere, her talking to Mikan about Junko’s test. It’s great how she tries to help Mikan come to a decision without forcing anything. But also finally giving some more confirmation that Junko definitely feels something for Mikan, expressing how many changes in her demeanor she’s noted. And the reveal that Junko routinely struggles with Nightmares whenever Mikan isn’t around?? Fuck I love that. God dammit. 

I feel like I should talk more about this scene, but I feel like I kinda did? To an extent? A lot of what I just said about Mukuro’s place in this dynamic kinda sums up a lot of the great things about this scene. So I suppose we move on.

The buildup to the big scene of this chapter is wonderful of course, not much to say there. And I admittedly just really want to talk about the scene that follows.

Because god it’s everything I was hoping for when I finished that second chapter and had no idea whether I’d see this scene or not. 

The reveal is great, and as grotesque as I anticipated. I do cringe a little reading some of the details, not the modern dickhead definition of cringe either I mean the “Oh god fuck that’s brutal” kind of cringe. And it is so perfectly contrasted by Junko being Junko, love the idea that Junko and Mukuro just nabbed up these people and didn’t explain a goddamn thing until this very moment where they finally figure out that this crazy bitch is dating their daughter. Mukuro punching Mikan’s dad in the face was fucking great too. 

And the buildup to what comes next, is so god damn good. It feels weird out of context celebrating it, but the scene where Mikan breaks? Fucking spectacular. The distortion on the word Red hits like a fucking truck, and also speaks to my childhood of being a creepypasta kid because i’m like, half sure that’s the zalgo text filter, correct me if I’m wrong of course. Point is it was an out of nowhere detail that perfectly emphasized the tensity of what’s about to happen.

And I can go on another tangent now, because this is something I have had no opportunity to talk about during the entire duration of this project. At least not to my memory or knowledge.

I love Angry Mikan. I love the Mikan that snaps and is fully over the edge, not willing to deal with anyones bullshit. I of course have criticisms of Chapter 3 in DR2, but Mikan’s reveal of her true self, or I suppose the herself prior to the NWP, I love that moment. 

I’ve never depicted Angry Mikan before, but someday I really want to. So until then I take great enjoyment in seeing such a rare side of Mikan, which itself is even rarer in these fics. I think counting this one there are only 3, maybe 4 other fics off the top of my head where we get to see Mikan fully lose her temper. Now of course, I could be suffering another lapse in memory, or I just haven’t read the other stories that feature it. I only think I’ve read like, 90% of the Soft Junkan out there, I can’t confidently claim I actually have for certain, so maybe I missed it! 

Point is, seeing Angry Mikan is a treat. And here especially is fucking amazing, the verbal teardown, the havoc of it all. It’s great. And Junko just adds to it with her sheer excitement (which is putting it lightly given some of the dialogue), getting to see Mikan finally become, from her perspective, the best version of herself. Someone who can survive alongside her. 

When things start moving, it’s amazing. A small moment I really love, and the moment I was originally gonna wait for to talk about Mukuro with. Her offering up an assortment of firearms from “Her personal collection.” is just, weirdly wholesome? The things I get to say talking about this ship I swear. I dunno, it feels like such a small, personal moment and offer that only Mukuro could provide, and feels like the perfect cap to Mikan and Mukuro’s dynamic throughout this fic.

Also, fucking enamored with the the presence of a Rocket Launcher. Funniest alternate timeline sitting right there, imagining Mikan with a fucking rpg over her shoulder is hilarious.

Junko offering the reverse side of the weaponry coin is lovely too of course, but it’s the wonderful stuff I’d already expect with Junko, so much less of a pleasant surprise like Mukuro. I do appreciate her keeping a knife used on Mikan’s father as a trophy though, imagine that over the fireplace.

Anyway I don’t know how I could really explain to you why the torture scene is nice. It’s catharsis, it’s just catharsis. I don’t even remember how fucking long I waited to read this moment but it was so worth it, Junko and Mukuro joining in to help setup equipment was also really cute . . . i feel like i shouldn’t be calling segments from a torture scene cute. Hm. Well anyway, I can say that while I appreciate its existence, I’m also glad Kayleen chose not to drag it out for too long. Ironic coming from the most excessive bitch around here, but it probably would have been a bit much if it took up the grander majority of this chapter.

Which means we say goodbye to Mukuro and return to our regularly scheduled Junko and Mikan moments. 

And yeah what do you want me to fucking say, it’s amazing? Because it’s amazing as fuck, yeah. I’m running out of ways to just say how fuckin much i love this, but i’ll persevere best I can. 

I mentioned way earlier that I love it when Mikan catches Junko by surprise, and we get more of that here. Though in this instance I think it’s better to describe that this is the first time Mikan just gets the upper hand on Junko, who’s struggling to fight back in the conversation because she’s already struggling to figure out her feelings. And it’s really lovely to see Mikan fighting past Junko’s own insecurities, especially when she regards herself as a bad girlfriend. It’s great, and it’s more of that role reversal I love. 

The book analogy near the end of this conversation is so good, it’s sappy as fuck but that’s why it’s good. And Junko leaning into it despite how lame it is makes it all the better, and I only noticed on this recent reread that there’s even a cheeky V3 reference as well, clever!~ 

The kiss is of course great, and I think i’ve just fully fucking run out of ways to talk about how much I love Junko and Mikan kisses in these stories. Thank god there isn’t one in tomorrows fic- getting ahead of myself. 

Rip to Scissorhands, thanks for the gay but you will not be missed.

God damn amazing fic, so well written. It’s one where I have to be in a very specific mindset in order to read it, as that middle chapter really does stress me out enough to be a bit of a roadblock. But admittedly this most recent reread wasn’t the worst compared to the previous few times. That said the fic definitely had it’s effect on me like usual, my body felt all kinds of wild ways, my heartbeat was a lot more intense, breathing a bit wacked out, my nerves up. The whole shebang, so good fucking writing. Equally bittersweet considering that, at least I assume, the normal events of DR are going to follow this story, even if not immediately. So Mukuro’s gonna die, Junko’s gonna die, and then Mikan’s going to have her brain undespaired and probably lose all her feelings towards Junko (Though I will admit, the idea of Mikan after the actual events of canon still having feelings for Junko while not being a remnant is pretty interesting). 

However, I can live with that. It’s still an amazing story even with main canon in consideration, and I think I’ve run out of things to say here. 

Tomorrow is the last fic based art in the event, Days 99 and 100 are all on me. And by process of elimination you probably have an idea of what Day 98 is, you may even know the exact fic. 

I said there were three fics that were vital to me reaching this point in my life, being this obsessed with Junkan as a ship.

The Third Fic, Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed, is the fic that sent me spiraling into brainrot to the point of snapping and drawing art of it behind closed doors, eventually snapping me into drawing more Junkan than I imagine most if not anybody ever has.

The Second Fic, Smile, is what got me obsessed with the ship in the first place, of course only enough to enjoy reading it in secret, which would lead me to EYED.

All that’s left is The First Fic, which you’ll see tomorrow. The fic that made me bother to even give this ship a chance in the first place. Hilariously, I will probably not yap about it nearly as much as the previous two, even if I love it. 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Tsumiki Mikan | Infectious AU

Requested by @theoneandonlyyuriaoo: Can you do any goodbye despair character x reader?

The world had turned on its head. An infectious parasite that devoured the brain and rotted the body. It drove the modern world to ruin; making populated cities become deserted wastelands filled by the infected. 

Of course like all crises in the world fortresses are made. Fortresses that everyone flocks to hoping to guarantee a life of structure safety and healthcare. Relying on the most talented and resourceful leaders to bring the structure the old world used to have. Including the promise of care by the world’s greatest nurse. 

“Nurse Tsumiki, we need to rewrap the bandages on patient #237!”

“C-c-coming! Oof–oh no the syringes!”

Tsumiki Mikan is the best nurse in the world or at least in the closest fortress you can get in. Said to be able to cure those in the final stages of the infectious parasite, she’s a clumsy but gifted nurse. When the fortresses do begin their ‘peaceful’ negotiations her residence is a heavy point of contention. Of course, anyone would want the woman who managed to make a cure working in their medical wing. 

She’s such a celebrity, that your fellow patients excitedly speak of her when she comes to check on them. Unfortunately, you’ve been sleeping every time she’s supposedly stopped by. Though you weren’t worried. A simple broken arm shouldn’t need the greatest medical mind’s attention, you had to be convinced by your party to even admit yourself into the medical ward. 

So it truly is a surprise when you wake to the nurse in the middle of the night holding an IV bag. It was easy to recognize her by the outline made by the small nightlight from the hall. What made you question if it was her, was the inhuman twitching and giggling she was doing. 

“O-Oh~! Y-y-you’re awake!”

You’ll protest the need for an IV bag—it’s just a broken arm. But she’ll determinedly protest it, the way she does when the emergency is dire. Abandoning her usual stutter she’ll go on to rant and rave about how this may be a doorway to something worse. 

“You have to listen to me, (Y/n)! You need to stay here in bed! With me!”

Despite you being an average survivor, you weren’t an idiot. Even with a minor background in anatomy and the way diseases are spread; you know most of what she’s saying isn’t true. Or at least not in your case. So you’ll explain and try to rationalize with her even as she settles herself on your bed.

“Look Mikan I appreciate your concern but it’s really not that bad!”

“Noo! Noo! You can’t!”

“Please stop crying. You’ll wake up the other patients.”

She’ll keep whining and protesting her mute point; all the while scooching up on your bed. As if trying to get as close as possible. It isn’t until you say the most off-limits thing in the history of your conversation with her. 

“You know what, I’m just going to check out and I’ll go back if I find anything–”

“NO!”

She immediately hops up on your lap, trapping your free hand and legs underneath hers. That was the least of your concerns as she held your face in her hands.  Rubbing a thumb obsessively on your cheeks, she practically rubs her nose against your own. 

“No no no no no you can’t leave (Y/n)! You need to stay with me forever forever forever forever!”

You couldn’t really stop her as she practically devoured your mouth in some wild form of a kiss. There was biting, sucking, and something viscous shoved down your throat. As your vision blurred and your cognitive control slipped from you; you could hear the door open and the silhouette of a more familiar nurse who refused to look at you. 

“Miss Tsumiki…your orders?”

The nurse’s giggling turned into a full-blown cackle clutching your head into her chest. The nurse said nothing as she proceeded to play with your cheeks while she continued to maniacally laugh.

“It’s just as I feared~! (Y/n)’s condition has worsened we need to quarantine them in my private ward!”

“Yes, Miss Tsumiki.”

Better her than the infection right?

[ave-cave]

In Defense/Analysis of Mahiru and Hiyoko's Relationship

Criticisms leveled at Hiyoko’s relationship with Mahiru are varied; engaging with the fanbase for this long has led me to some pretty specific ones, many I’d never even thought about (and that’s saying something because I spend way too much time analyzing them lmao). In the interest of not making this a novel, though, I’ll be focusing on the ones I see most often: “Mahiru didn't call Hiyoko out on her bullying,” “Mahiru standing up for Hiyoko in 2-2 was hypocritical” and “Mahiru and Hiyoko's relationship is wasted potential because Hiyoko dies in 2-3.”

As can probably be inferred from the title, this write-up aims to counter these criticisms, but if I’m being honest, it doubles as an attempt to explain why I like Mahiru and Hiyoko's dynamic as much as I do. They’re my favorites in the series bar none, so there’s no guarantee my points will be 100% free of bias, but I’ll do my best to consider each argument in good faith.

A few disclaimers first:

Spoilers for basically all of Goodbye Despair are incoming (if that wasn’t obvious lol)

All pink highlighted text is a link to a relevant Imgur image

Defending a character’s writing and defending their morality are two different things, and I intend to do only the former, especially with Hiyoko

It's more than fine if you dislike Mahiru or Hiyoko – this write-up wouldn’t exist if differing opinions didn’t – but please do try to approach my points with an open mind

Cool? Cool.

Turning a Blind Eye:

First thing’s first, the aspect of Mahiru and Hiyoko's relationship that I assume most earns Mahiru the “hypocrite” title: her ignoring Hiyoko’s bullying.

At a glance, I can’t say this criticism rings untrue. During my first playthrough, I also found myself agitated (and frankly confused) by how Hiyoko’s ill treatment (of everyone, but of Mikan in particular) kept flying under the radar. That said, upon review, I wouldn’t consider it a glaring oversight on the part of the writers the way some fans seem to; I think her behavior is handled as such by the narrative for a reason – albeit a frustrating one – and that this reason is key to understanding her relationship with Mahiru.

When it comes to the class as a whole, the most straightforward reason is that it’s rendered trivial by the killing game. In the midst of life or death, a pipsqueak tossing around juvenile insults is lucky to register as any kind of concern, let alone an urgent one – this made all the more apparent when you comb through her insult scenes and realize that most of them follow the same formula: jab → target’s reaction → another character rerouting the conversation to focus on the dangers at hand. Something similar can be said for why Teruteru’s sexual harassment and Kazuichi’s overstepping of Sonia’s boundaries are ignored in favor of continuing class-wide discussions (and on a more inoffensive note why comic relief moments, courtesy of Ibuki or Gundham, are so fleeting): the threat of the killing game overshadows all else. Only when a threat within the group becomes synonymous with the killing game is it addressed with nearly the same exigency (think Nagito post-chapter 1), otherwise, it might as well be nonexistent.

So basically, when forced to pick and choose what harm they respond to, more often than not the class opts for the harm that jumps out at them screaming “I’M HARMFUL.” If Hiyoko’s insults were the long and short of it, her conduct would be essentially harmless; rude at best and borderline malicious at worst, but overall inconsequential. Except that’s not the case. Why? Because two characters in particular – Mikan and Kazuichi – lack the self-esteem to brush them off as childish drivel. Through this, they become prime targets, and general unpleasantness gives way to full-on bullying…

… whiiich brings us to pitfall #2: while the other characters aren’t oblivious to Mikan and Kazuichi’s sensitivity per se, they aren’t actively mindful of it, either – especially not Mikan’s. They treat them either like any other classmate or – when their talents come in handy – like competent Ultimates. In most instances where Mikan breaks down (pre-trial 3 anyway), Hajime’s internal dialogue is something along the lines of, “She doesn’t need to cry and apologize so much” rather than, “Oh no, is she okay?” He’s concerned, just not enough to adjust his approach. The same goes for Kazuichi, particularly when his sensitivity causes him to freak out, giving the impression of cowardice. Ironically, by choosing those two as her main targets, Hiyoko may be the only person who “acknowledges” their low self-esteem as anything worth treating them differently over (though that’s obviously not to her credit since it’s in the most twisted way possible).

Of course, just off the top of my head, I can recall more instances of the perverted characters’ comments being called out than I can Hiyoko's, but I wouldn’t consider that an oversight, either. I’ve seen it argued that simply being childish is what gives Hiyoko a “pass” behavior-wise, and while I don’t think this is incorrect, I think it underestimates just how aware she is of the way she’s perceived, i.e., as younger (both physically and mentally) than her classmates. She doesn’t act the way she does and then expect her childlike image to compensate for it automatically; she’s in a constant, deliberate flip-flop between unapproachable and childish, because – while she is a paranoid individual who puts forth her assholish personality to avoid forming connections and facing betrayal – she’s also someone who likes to have her cake and eat it, too.

In her mind, so long as she can be simultaneously unlikable and unthreatening, she needn't fear going too far and making enemies (as opposed to just, y’know, not making friends), and to that end, she turns to her immature looks as a sort of “back-up” – a way of being avoided without being antagonized. This tactic, hinted at a few times in DR2 as well as other canon material, backfires, however, highlighting its fundamental flaw: sure, no one takes her seriously enough to get mad at her insults, but by the same token, no one takes her seriously in general – not even when she wants them to.

That’s not to say this concept is executed perfectly, mind you. As interesting as it may be on paper, even I have trouble suspending my disbelief in scenes where she’s downright cruel and yet no one bats an eye. I think there’s just enough (both in text and subtext) to justify her in-universe perception being what it is, so I can get past this, but I understand why some fans can’t – especially since Mikan and Kazuichi get the short end of the stick regardless.

Again, though, that’s the class as a whole. What about Mahiru specifically? From what I've seen, she’s frequently singled out by the fandom as the character most to blame for Hiyoko’s behavior going unchecked, and this is probably due to a few things:

Her emphasis on good manners and civility

Her friendship with Hiyoko making her a more responsible party for correcting the latter’s behavior

The opening scene of 2-2 in which she defends Hiyoko (I call it “the restaurant scene” for short because it takes place at the restaurant and I’m uncreative)

The second and third reasons go hand-in-hand, but I have a fair amount to say about the third, so I'll save it for the next section. The first and second I'll talk about here.

Hypocrisy is defined as not practicing what one preaches. One could argue that Mahiru employs hypocrisy when she preaches good manners and civility but a) doesn’t call Hiyoko out for being a bully, and b) becomes her friend. Do these arguments hold water? In my opinion, yes and no. Let me explain.

First, how does Hiyoko’s in-universe perception carry over to her relationship with Mahiru? Simply put, Mahiru isn’t immune to it. Like everyone else, she views Hiyoko as too childish to take seriously and dismisses her accordingly. This might seem like a non-starter for their relationship, but I actually think it’s what allows said relationship to work at all.

In terms of personality and values, Mahiru and Hiyoko are polar opposites. You don’t have to search far for evidence of this – it’s right there in their profiles, with Mahiru’s stating that she dislikes bad manners and Hiyoko’s that she dislikes being lectured. This contrast isn’t arbitrary. Far from it; it’s deliberate groundwork for a foil. Unlike most foil characters in the series, though, Mahiru and Hiyoko get along swimmingly. Why? Well, I’ll get more into the nitty-gritty of that later, but in short, it’s because – while Mahiru may not be immune to Hiyoko’s flip-flopping – her perception isn’t quite as limited by it as her peers’.

I've seen a few people claim that Hiyoko is “fawned over” by her classmates, but IMO, that's not really true. Instances of the others offering Hiyoko comfort/sympathy are pretty much exclusive to the second trial (after her name is cleared; before that they're slinging accusations at her left and right) and the scene where they discover her shrine (after Chiaki sheds light on its true purpose; before that they're rallying to burn it). In both, I think it's made fairly clear that they're doing it out of a sense of, “Wow, this killing game sucks and Hiyoko is kind of bearing the brunt of its terribleness right now,” not, “Wow, Hiyoko is so cute and precious.” That's nothing particular to her; every character who loses a loved one to the killing game is treated with some amount of tenderness afterwards, regardless of who they are or whether the loss is the result of their own actions. Where her Mahiru-related suffering isn't concerned, though, Hiyoko’s classmates more or less just tolerate her existence. They go, “Hey, there's the rude little girl we for some reason share a grade with” and continue about the island.

Of course, it’s no one's responsibility to parent their peer, and Hiyoko's other classmates aren't wrong for taking her at face value. But Mahiru is different; she takes responsibility for those around her whether they want her to or not. Her desire to bring out the best in others is what allows her to perceive Hiyoko as a child not just in temperament, but in impressionability, too. In other words, she’s the only one who sees potential in Hiyoko – with a nudge in the right direction – to mature and improve as a person. This is demonstrated when Hiyoko admits the reason behind her smell at the start of 2-2. Here, Mahiru doesn't join her peers in asking why a high schooler can't do something as simple as bathe, nor does she slap a band-aid on the problem and offer to tie Hiyoko’s kimono for her; she offers to teach her how to do it herself. If Hiyoko were a plain bully with zero (for lack of a better word) embellishments – if there was nothing to bridge the gap between her and Mahiru, like, say, a need for a role model – Mahiru would be more inclined to call her out, yes, but she’d also be less inclined to help her here. And in my opinion? This would hurt both of their characters in the long run. I’ll get to why in the last section.

Granted, this then begs the question: if Mahiru is the only one generous enough to believe Hiyoko can change for the better, why does she demonstrate this generosity only once, in a situation where Hiyoko is vulnerable rather than on the offense no less? Well, I don't think that's an arbitrary decision, either.

See, while it might not be a stretch to call Mahiru and Hiyoko “friends” from the POV of the entire Class 77B saga, in DR2 alone, it kind of is. Hiyoko’s quick and fervent attachment to Mahiru beginning with the restaurant scene can make it easy to forget that, all told, their relationship on the island spanned only three days. Moreover, the attachment was one-sided; Mahiru was surprised and somewhat exasperated by Hiyoko's clinginess, and while she didn’t outright reject her affections, reciprocating them came very much second to unraveling the secrets of the island – especially once the second motive was introduced.

Hell, eliminate the restaurant scene altogether and only two interactions between them remain: first an optional dialogue in which Mahiru lets Hiyoko drag her to the supermarket but warns that she’s busy and can’t spend too much time with her, then the off-screen meeting that we piece together in 2-2’s Closing Argument. But even following the restaurant scene – arguably the only one in which Mahiru is focused exclusively on Hiyoko – she shows reluctance to help Hiyoko shower and redress right away, considering the upcoming investigation a bigger priority. The morning after, although Hiyoko is still clinging to her, Mahiru doesn't acknowledge her at any point, focused instead on forcing Nekomaru and Kazuichi to give up Nagito’s location. Starting to notice a pattern?

Additionally, in the prologue, Mahiru joins the beach party while Hiyoko doesn’t. The first morning of the killing game (also Hiyoko’s first Mikan-bullying scene), Mahiru is away almost the entire time fetching Kazuichi. During the first investigation, Mahiru stays by the Imposter’s body while Hiyoko goes to the supermarket. A couple mornings later, Mahiru doesn’t come to breakfast at all while Hiyoko does. This leaves only a handful of Monokuma announcements, two investigations, a trial (that is, killing game-related things that everyone has to gather in one place for anyway) and a few other misc. scenes, most of which are devoid of interactions between the two. So in other words, the amount of time they spend in each other’s presence is just as scant as their “bonding” moments.

None of this is to diminish the ultimate impact of their relationship (I’m working up to that slowly if you couldn’t tell lol), but it is to say that describing them as “friends” within the confines of DR2 is maybe pushing it. I may refer to them as such in write-ups (half for the sake of brevity and half because Danganronpa presents friend as a generic term for harmony within the group), but in fact, the only time Mahiru or Hiyoko is called the other’s friend is in 2-3, when Chiaki prompts Hiyoko to consider what Mahiru would say about Fuyuhiko’s seppuku. Chiaki is well-meaning, and while her observations about her classmates aren't off the mark per se, they're sometimes lacking in nuance – likely by virtue of her being an AI with a limited framework for understanding people. We as players, on the other hand, can be a bit more discerning: there was a single scene in which Mahiru was focused on Hiyoko and Hiyoko only, and by the time it was over, she’d already shifted her attention back to the killing game. Two days later, she died. I’d be concerned if anyone besides Chiaki called that friendship.

Consider Fuyuhiko for a moment. The fact that Mahiru has basically double the interactions with him than she does Hiyoko, even prior to the events of the second case, is an immediate tip-off that Hiyoko isn't her prime concern. She’s on positive terms with Hiyoko, whereas she and Fuyuhiko butt heads constantly, so it should be the other way around, right? Nope. Fuyuhiko represents a threat synonymous with the killing game due to his threats of continuing it (plus his overall lack of cooperation), and so reining him in is automatically higher on her list of priorities.

And that's the thing: despite being a grade-a cunt, Hiyoko is cooperative. She doesn’t create rifts within the group the way Fuyuhiko does pre-trial 2, let alone entertain the idea of the killing game. She doesn’t try to distance herself from her peers, and while she might not be very useful in investigations, she doesn’t outright refuse to partake in them (she goes to the supermarket for snacks instead of investigating, but she's willing to help Hajime confirm important items are missing from the shelves.) Working against the killing game in any way – including just by cooperating – is an immediate incentive for Mahiru to go easier on anyone (yes, even boys). This, coupled with the aforementioned flip-flopping effect, makes it so Hiyoko only shows up on her radar when she starts crying over her kimono in 2-2, whereas Fuyuhiko shows up the moment he starts threatening to kill someone.

Due to her early death and the fact that – again – she shares so few scenes with Hiyoko to begin with, the number of times Mahiru witnesses the latter bullying Mikan is a comparatively small five: three times in the first trial (one of which is during a Nonstop Debate), once the morning after the trial and once while investigating the abandoned ruins. 

During the first trial, Mahiru is among the students most focused on solving the murder, and only when liabilities to the group’s cooperation (i.e., Fuyuhiko still threatening people, Kazuichi and Nekomaru embarrassing Peko and derailing the discussion about her alibi) does she feel the need to police anyone's behavior. Hiyoko is a complete and utter bitch to Mikan here, but given her remarks don't noticeably hamper the discussion, it's unfortunately not hard to see why everyone – Mahiru included – dismisses them as playground nonsense.

Likewise, during the second island investigation, Mahiru is fully immersed in the conversation about the ruins and pays no attention to anything besides it, not even Hiyoko mentioning that they bathed together (something she'd previously expressed embarrassment over). The morning after the trial is definitely the odd one out; Mahiru is distraught over the Imposter and Teruteru, but there’s nothing more pressing to attend to, and reprimanding Hiyoko would cost her little in the focus department. Like the others, she just doesn't take it seriously. Is her lack of intervention here unjustified? For sure. Is she more at fault for not stepping in than anyone else? I'd argue no.

Kazuichi is a similar case. Mahiru is there for four of the scenes in which he’s bullied: once before the Imposter’s first meeting, twice while investigating the park’s giant timer and once during the first trial. Everything I said about Mikan applies here as well, but there’s the added layer that Mahiru is harder on boys, and so when Hiyoko calls Kazuichi a coward for trying to run away or a loser for insulting others to gain Sonia’s favor, Mahiru may not agree with the form, but she might as well agree with the content. Again, does that make her silence right? No. Just explainable.

All in all, what I’m getting at is that Mahiru’s role modeling (in DR2’s main story anyway) isn’t supposed to extend beyond the restaurant scene. At no point in 2-2 is correcting Hiyoko’s behavior a consistent goal for her, and while I think it's 100% fair to argue that it should've been, I only half-agree – again, for reasons I'll get to in section three. Since I’m not sure I can explain the purpose of Mahiru's guidance in DR2 without repeating myself in the future, for now I’ll just highlight what it aims to achieve in other installments.

Granted, most spin-off interactions are one-on-one, meaning only the TSMC and DRS exist to show how Mahiru responds to Hiyoko’s bullying in a non-killing game setting. I’d argue that neither disappoints, however; she’s shown more than once to instruct Hiyoko on how to act in both. What I like about this portrayal is that Mahiru’s gentle approach stays the same; only the sense of urgency with which she addresses Hiyoko’s behavior changes. As far as she's concerned, Hiyoko is still a child in need of teaching, but now – with the stakes that much lower – she’s also evidently a bully in need of reining in.

These scenes make Mahiru one of few characters to try to temper Hiyoko’s cruelty at any point in the series. You know who doesn’t ever try, not even outside of the killing game? Most of the DR2 cast, who end up witnessing far more frequent and targeted bullying than Mahiru does simply by virtue of outliving her. These characters include:

the self-appointed leader of the group who either ignores Hiyoko’s comments or finds the ones directed at him funny

the protagonist of the game whose inner monologue consistently acknowledges how terrible Hiyoko’s behavior is, but never calls it out

the Ultimate Team Manager (who also plays along with insults directed at him) and Princess, whose talents center around order and unity

the Observer AI whose #1 objective is ensuring that everyone gets along no matter what

Of course, how much incentive and/or know-how someone has for stopping a bully is unimportant when a simple “cut it out” would suffice. At the end of the day, the fact remains that everyone – Mahiru included – turned a blind eye to bullying during the killing game, and there’s no good excuse for that. My aim in pointing this out is not to absolve Mahiru altogether, rather, to put into perspective why it may be unfair to saddle her with all, let alone most of the blame.

So at last, with all of that explanation out of the way, is Mahiru a hypocrite when it comes to her handling of Hiyoko vs. others? Well, sure. She’s hypocritical in the sense that she exercises a double standard, i.e., cuts Hiyoko more slack than she does the rest of the class. But is that double standard exclusive to her? Not really. If anything, by not dismissing her as a child through and through, she holds Hiyoko to a higher standard than most of her classmates do, and this gets its proper chance to shine outside of the killing game. Moreover, her double standard isn’t the product of favoritism; on the contrary, if guiding Hiyoko took precedence over the killing game in her mind, their interactions wouldn’t be so few and far between. Calling Hiyoko out isn’t one of her priorities, but neither is being her friend.

In light of this, I think a better question is whether Mahiru’s hypocrisy is conscious or not. Conscious hypocrisy applies when someone regards two or more things as being on the same level but treats one differently anyway. That isn’t the case with Mahiru, who – alongside her peers – treats Hiyoko’s behavior differently (i.e., more leniently) because she genuinely regards it as nickel-and-dime. If you’d still consider that unconscious hypocrisy, that’s fair. Again, I just don’t think there’s any point in singling her out.

Speaking of singling out…

The Restaurant Scene:

The opening scene of 2-2 wherein Mahiru and Hiyoko become “friends” is where I’ve noticed a lot of fans’ ire with their relationship comes from. It’s a fairly popular opinion (as far as I’m aware) to consider Mahiru’s defense of Hiyoko here hypocritical, and honestly? While I disagree, I don’t really blame people for seeing it that way. I had to give her actions some extra thought before they started making sense to me, and I think the scene as a whole requires a lot of reading in between the lines + background knowledge to make heads or tails of. Here’s my personal reading of it and why I’d consider it misunderstood.

Immediately upon entering the restaurant, the brooding atmosphere hits hard; everyone* is in silent mourning of the Imposter and Teruteru, too overwhelmed by the events of the night prior to make conversation. Mahiru is no exception; she can hardly muster a “good morning” to Hajime… 

… *everyone besides Hiyoko, that is. Just as immediately, she starts badmouthing Teruteru, claiming he deserved to die for his crime and therefore shouldn't be mourned. Cue record scratch.

What does Mahiru say in response to this? Nothing. But her silence isn’t for lack of caring – quite the opposite.

See, the crucial thing to understand about Mahiru (and probably her most glaring flaw) is that, despite her headstrong attitude and emphasis on “doing the right thing,” she doesn’t always know what the right thing is. She lacks the confidence necessary to support her levelheadedness, and so she agonizes and deliberates. This is the driving force behind most of her actions, and I think the restaurant scene serves to foreshadow its role in her final confrontation with Fuyuhiko.

Think about the things Mahiru jumps down her peers’ throats about: all relatively “simple” moral dilemmas concerning impropriety, threats, reckless decision-making, etc. Then compare all of that to the dilemma Hiyoko brings into question here. Do the ends justify the means when it comes to reuniting with family? Is trading the lives of 15 strangers for one important person right? Mahiru doesn’t know; she’s never had to think about it before. Even if she disagrees on principle, who is she to tell this girl she barely knows that she shouldn’t feel relief over the death of someone who tried to get them all executed? Only later, after having given it ample thought, does she come to terms with this dilemma – and in the meantime, Peko steps in, possibly also foreshadowing her familiarity with topics like execution.

Soon thereafter, Hiyoko is identified as the source of a bad smell, and while most of the comments that follow are born of genuine concern for her hygiene, Gundham and Kazuichi’s are a wee bit insensitive. Mahiru says as much in a single line, and here’s where I think some interpretations of the restaurant scene miss the point. Nowhere during this exchange does Mahiru accuse anyone of bullying Hiyoko. The reason she intervenes has everything to do with her flaw regarding moral dilemmas, and – up until her offer to help Hiyoko with her kimono – almost nothing to do with Hiyoko herself. “Is it rude to harp on a sensitive hygiene issue outside of one’s control” is already a dilemma far simpler than “should a murderer be mourned," but the added layer of disregarding a lecture and doing the same thing the next morning makes it a no-brainer. Mahiru doesn’t care that Hiyoko is the target of a few obtuse comments, she cares that the guys didn’t listen to her the night before – something she makes clear by opening her sentence with, “I’ve said it before, but…”

After this is when her intervention starts being about Hiyoko. She says she’ll teach Hiyoko a simple obi knot, and only then does the latter stop crying. Here’s where background knowledge factors in.

Basically, a few in-game clues – combined with her FTEs and Island Mode – reveal that Hiyoko was forced at a young age to leave her parents’ home and move in with her grandmother, who then put her to work studying the traditional dance for which the Saionji Clan is famous. Hiyoko's status as the next head of the family made her subject to great cruelty at the hands of jealous rivals, and as a result, she grew to resent it. Her grandmother became aware of this resentment, and to prevent Hiyoko from shirking her responsibilities, she spoiled her into total dependence, neglecting to teach her basic life skills – including though not limited to dressing herself – and ensuring that dance was her only area of proficiency. This led to Hiyoko forming an inferiority complex around her lack of self-sustainability.

Said inferiority complex contextualizes how Mahiru’s offer registered to Hiyoko: not as a basic gesture of compassion, but as something far greater. Instead of offering to take care of it for her, Mahiru offered to teach her how to take care of it herself, and this meant that Hiyoko not only automatically trusted her, but had every reason to see her as a role model; as someone whose example could be followed. This childlike admiration becomes all the more relevant later.

Honestly, as much as I understand criticisms of the restaurant scene from a, “Mahiru should have also defended Mikan/Kazuichi” standpoint, I do less from a, “She shouldn’t have helped Hiyoko” one. I already outlined where I think her blindspots lie in terms of calling Hiyoko out (and how said blindspots aren't unique to her), but of the characters most consistently mindful of Mikan/Kazuichi otherwise, I’d argue she’s up there (although, again, no one is nearly as mindful of them as they should be).

She’s the only person to insist on helping Mikan up after she falls for the first time; she expresses concern over the floorboards in the abandoned building being a tripping hazard for her; she firmly refuses Ibuki’s suggestion of taking pictures after she falls for the second time; she reprimands Fuyuhiko for threatening to sell her to a whorehouse in the first trial; and when Monokuma pressures the class into playing the TSMC arcade game, she warns Mikan against it. Granted, there aren't as many instances of her sticking up for Kazuichi, but it's worth noting that – despite her prior insistence that he needed to “man up” – she defends him when Fuyuhiko taunts him over his fear of the Monobeasts.

Don’t get me wrong, I do wish that she did the additional service of holding Hiyoko accountable for her bullying, but the fact that she didn't doesn't render her intervention here hypocritical, IMO. Again, her defense of Hiyoko was prompted by frustration over the guys embarrassing her after they'd already done the same to Peko; it's something she would have defended any of the girls for, and as highlighted above, she arguably did defend Mikan on the embarrassment front both times she fell.

As for offering Hiyoko help, I don't see how that's hypocritical, either. If this scene is indicative of anything, it's that Hiyoko – while a rotten bully – is still human at the end of the day. The fact that she's a little shit and the fact that she's so helpless she can't get dressed by herself can coexist; offering her the bare minimum compassion for the latter isn't giving her a free ticket to continue being the former – it's just that: the bare minimum compassion. She needed help, and if Mahiru wouldn't give it to her, who would? Maybe it'd be karmic to let her go around the island smelling like sewage, but it sure as hell wouldn't be sustainable.

More than once in her screentime is Mahiru shown to extend compassion to someone who isn’t an unambiguously good person, something else that becomes all the more relevant later. She makes a genuine effort to sympathize with Teruteru’s motive despite not agreeing with his actions; she brings food to a tied-up Nagito (twice, for that matter) despite the chaos he’d sown the previous chapter; and she laments Natsumi’s murder despite knowing how badly the latter treated others, herself included. In view of this, helping a bully dress herself is not only in-character for Mahiru, but by far the least “extreme” of her acts of compassion. I’d also argue that it pays off in a few different ways.

Why I Think it Works:

So far, I’ve offered explanations as to why nothing holds Mahiru and Hiyoko’s relationship back, but I’ve yet to explain what I think pushes it forward. Let me rectify that.

Following the second trial, Hiyoko’s hostility toward those around her is amped up to 11. The third island investigation has her intentionally manipulate Akane into exploring the motel on her behalf, and when Hajime talks to her, not only does she insult him right off the bat, she's openly classist toward him, equating the unsanitary, rundown motel to his house. This is low, even for her, and considering the events of the previous chapter, it’s not exactly a mystery why.

See, Mahiru's death sets itself apart from others in the series in that it isn't an immediate incentive for the person closest to her to change. Hiyoko doesn't get the tried and true “character loses a friend and is motivated to better themselves as a result” type arc – not toot sweet, anyway – because, unlike, say, Sakura, Peko or Tenko, Mahiru had no last words, no last message of strength or wisdom for her. Her murder was a source of conflict and animosity – nothing more, nothing less.

As is first established following Teruteru’s execution, Hiyoko has a retribution-oriented mindset not too far off from Fuyuhiko’s “an eye for an eye.” She doesn't believe in redemption; she holds onto grudges indefinitely; and most of all, she believes killers deserve to die themselves. This mindset is yet another manifestation of her paranoia – of being conditioned all her life to believe that everyone is out to get her. Unlike Fuyuhiko, whose terrible attitude was a mask he wore to compensate for his insecurities about leading his clan, Hiyoko’s is an extension of her paranoid worldview; an ingrained trait.

And that’s honestly why I only half-agree with the argument that Mahiru should have reprimanded her in DR2. Would it have worked to give Mikan/Kazuichi some peace of mind? Absolutely, and that’s reason enough. But to change Hiyoko’s behavior in the long run? I doubt it. It would address the bullying in the moment, but it wouldn’t get to the root of the problem, i.e. the backwards defense mechanism from which said bullying stems. The only reason Mahiru’s guidance outside of DR2 (as underscored earlier) has any effect is that Hiyoko is already in a safe environment with friends whom she trusts, far away from her family and their perilous traditions. Though her lizard brain instinct is still to be as nasty as possible, the proper groundwork is there for her to integrate Mahiru’s guidance and improve her behavior over time… groundwork that's practically nonexistent in DR2’s killing game.

But anyway, back to 2-3. Speaking of Fuyuhiko, Hiyoko applies her rigid point of view to him in this chapter. The fact that she considers him an irredeemable killer is only a sliver of the real issue, however; more relevant is that clear indications of his wanting to turn over a new leaf register to her as a way of dodging responsibility. No matter how sincere in his resolve he may be, she sees only the worst in him. She is, after all, paranoid.

Hiyoko’s shrine, while testament to her love for Mahiru, is kind of a… development red herring so to speak. Setting aside her insecurities to perform a task outside her (forced) field of expertise is a feat for her – don't get me wrong – but it isn't really a change; she’d never hesitated before to show vulnerability when it came to Mahiru, whether by saying to her face that she loved her or expressing how much she missed her when she was gone. It's only when she confronts Fuyuhiko about Mahiru and Peko’s deaths, and he responds by committing seppuku, that we see dynamics start to shift.

Here, Hiyoko is stunned into horrified silence, and that in and of itself speaks volumes. She believes strongly that all killers deserve to die, doesn't she? So then why does she go quiet? Why doesn't she take advantage of Fuyuhiko’s clear instability to get him to finish the job? It’s not because she doesn’t want to die herself; the last trial established beyond a shadow of a doubt that only the person to deliver the killing blow is punished. It's because she realizes something: that isn't what Mahiru would want.

In contrast to both Hiyoko and Fuyuhiko, retribution was never Mahiru's MO. She wished zero harm upon anyone no matter what they'd done; she extended compassion to everyone, even killers; she disapproved of cruel and unusual punishment; and she showed particular distaste for acts of revenge. Of course, in keeping with her fatal flaw, she didn't always go about these ideals in the right way. She covered up a murder in a desperate bid to protect her friend from the yakuza’s twisted “justice,” and she scolded an enraged Fuyuhiko for continuing the cycle of revenge while he was interrogating her about his sister – both shortsighted actions that she paid the ultimate price for.

But by the same token, she kept thinking about Teruteru's actions after the restaurant scene and concluded that he didn’t, in fact, deserve to die for his crime. She forced Nekomaru and Kazuichi to give up Nagito’s location, chastised them for hogtying and starving him and brought him breakfast when nobody else would. She spent days deliberating over how best to make amends with Fuyuhiko, even though his threatening letter – combined with the knowledge of the game’s true ending – would have been more than enough to convince the others to restrain him like Kazuichi wanted (not to mention the most obvious thing to do for her own protection). If she had thought more like Hiyoko and dismissed Fuyuhiko as an irredeemable murderer from the get-go, the opportunity to lure her to the beach house would have never existed.

The ideals driving these actions, made explicit in her final words to Fuyuhiko, all contributed to a lasting legacy, and Hiyoko considering that legacy in order to forgive Fuyuhiko is what makes her arc so powerful to me. Losing the only person on the island whom she trusted – hell, having that trust taken advantage of by the ones responsible – could have foreclosed on all progress right then and there. Mahiru's guidance was limited to a single act of compassion that had (seemingly) nothing to do with what she stood for. Being framed for her murder put Hiyoko in a vulnerable position from which she believed she could only recover by becoming meaner. And as the only one left still personally affected by Fuyuhiko’s actions, she had to watch as everyone else welcomed him back with open arms, causing her to lose last resource: her footing within the group as the rude but cooperative one. But because Mahiru’s compassion reached her in a fundamental way – because she valued her enough to consider her unspoken ideals – she managed to defy the odds and change anyway. Not because Mahiru told her to, but because she wanted to.

And so at last, that's why I think the way their relationship was written – with a brief but meaningful role model dynamic, limited intervention on Mahiru's side and childlike admiration on Hiyoko's – ultimately worked in both of their favors. It allowed Mahiru's impact to carry on past 2-2 (more extensively anyway, as it would have played into Fuyuhiko’s arc regardless; his desire to make amends using the second chance given to him by Peko was no coincidence), and it made it so the sincerity other arcs work hard to convey is there by default with Hiyoko’s – just by virtue of it happening at all. Do I still wish Mahiru called Hiyoko out on her bullying for Mikan and Kazuich’s sakes? Yep. I just wouldn't change her lack of involvement otherwise.

As a side note, it’s also why I can’t get behind the idea that Mahiru ever “enabled” Hiyoko. An enabler is someone who, well, enables something – usually a behavior, right? Remove the enabler from the equation, and the enabled behavior should become harder to maintain. So what would become of Hiyoko if she never “befriended” Mahiru? Well… she’d smell worse. She’d like one fewer person. That’s about it. Not receiving Mahiru’s compassion wouldn’t have done much of anything, but receiving it made a world of difference.

Hell, even if we strip away Mahiru's primary impact on Hiyoko, i.e. jumpstarting her development in 2-3, I’d argue that what we’re left with in 2-2 is still unequivocally positive. Helping Hiyoko shower and tie her kimono were both good things that improved the lives of everyone on the island. Nobody had to deal with Hiyoko’s stench anymore, but on top of that, given the option, Hiyoko spent her time clinging to Mahiru instead of going around bullying others. Keep in mind, Hiyoko is someone who believes she doesn't need friends or close contacts. Before Mahiru, she reasoned that, as long as she could learn to be self-sustaining, she’d never have to rely on anyone who might betray her; she could eschew human connection and ensure her safety forevermore. But then Mahiru earned her trust in one fell swoop, and suddenly she was prioritizing the pursuit of friendship over the prevention of betrayal, if with just one person. I don't think that should be understated.

Sorry, I keep getting sidetracked. Back to 2-3.

True to the killing game, though, just because a character experiences a breakthrough doesn't mean it’s all sunshine and rainbows from that point forward. The objective of the first half of Hiyoko’s arc, i.e., forgiving Fuyuhiko, is complete. She’s already well on her way to vanquishing her paranoia – to having her worldview reformed by Mahiru’s ideals and doing away with her ugly defense mechanism in the process. Nothing can stop her from improving further…

… is what we're led to believe. But then comes Nekomaru’s sacrifice. That’s when things take a nosedive.

Witnessing Nekomaru – essentially the pinnacle of strength – try to save his friend and get demolished as a result reinforces the very paranoia Hiyoko was striving to overcome. It reminds her of her own fragile mortality within the killing game and serves as irrefutable proof – in her mind, anyway – that connection leads only to death. Based on two lines, one from the second trial and the other from Hiyoko’s Island Mode ending, I think it can also be inferred that she projects herself onto Nekomaru here; she wishes she could have protected Mahiru the way Nekomaru tried to do Akane, but the fact that Mahiru is gone, and – as far as she’s aware – Nekomaru is now, too, only further cements her paranoid outlook.

Something else I think is notable about this scene, albeit a minor detail, is how Hiyoko addresses Akane. She singles Akane out, asking if she understands that Nekomaru died on account of their friendship. And while she's obviously rude about it, interestingly enough, she's not condescending. As mentioned earlier, one of this chapter’s first indications that Hiyoko was trying to shore up her bully persona (after the blow that was Mahiru's trial) was her bragging about manipulating Akane. There, she went out of her way to call Akane a useful idiot who's only good for dirty work. And yet, in this scene, not only does she ask with full candor if Akane understands the gravity of the situation, she’s disappointed when she doesn't. Disappointment implies there were expectations to begin with. I don't point this out to say this scene isn't a relapse on Hiyoko's part – it 100% is. If anything, I think it goes to show the extent of her breakdown: she's so distraught, she doesn't care anymore if she has to contradict her own malice to drive her point home.

Hiyoko’s relapse (and subsequent death) is why I assume her relationship with Mahiru is so often considered a waste. I may be something of an outlier in that I’ve never minded Hiyoko’s send-off from a writing standpoint and think only its incorporation into the case/deadly life is shoddy – but staying with the topic of this write-up, I’ll focus less on why I wouldn’t consider Hiyoko’s character as a whole wasted and more on why I wouldn’t consider her relationship with Mahiru wasted (even if the two go hand-in-hand to some degree).

The morning after Nekomaru's sacrifice, Hiyoko is seen mourning at Mahiru’s shrine. Choosing to talk to her triggers a rant about Nagito and how he pissed her off by lying about seeing Mahiru alive. She tearfully proclaims that she hates being lied to and won’t be satisfied until Nagito is brutalized as punishment, this clearly alluding to her heightened paranoia. It wouldn't even be the first time Nagito has lied to her, but comparing her reaction then vs. now, it becomes clear just how badly she's spiraling.

After this, the Despair Disease motive is officially introduced by Monokuma, and the afflicted students are brought to the hospital. Those remaining (minus Mikan, who’s tending to the patients) convene in the hospital lobby to discuss a plan of action, and that's when Hiyoko begins to insist on a quarantine.

I was honestly kind of surprised by how satisfied this scene's handling of Hiyoko left me feeling, and the more I analyze why, the more it all ties back to Mahiru.

Perhaps most obvious is her behavior. While she’s still not exactly a joy to be around, she's noticeably mellowed out. Upon review, I can count on one hand the number of times she says something rude:

When Gundham and Kazuichi debate the ethics of Mikan changing Nagito’s clothes (prompting this hilarious line), Hiyoko calls their conversation stupid and tells them to focus

When Hajime questions what she means by “isolate the patients,” she condescendingly asks him why he doesn’t get it

When explaining the purpose of the quarantine, she remarks (to no one in particular) that “even a preschooler knows” the only option when a disease is incurable is to stop it from spreading

When Gundham insists that everyone else station at the motel, she acquiesces with a, “Jeez, how annoying…”

Her nastiest remark by far is “I want them [the patients] to at least have the decency to consider committing suicide before they start bothering us.” Now, don’t get me wrong, this is a hideous thing to say under any circumstances, and there's no excuse for it. It puts a bad taste in my mouth. That said, with how unusually tame the rest of her dialogue is (hell, she refers to Mikan twice without so much as an insult to boot), I don’t think such an extreme comment is included arbitrarily. I think it's part of a deliberate pattern.

The bulk of Hiyoko’s arc this chapter – both positive and negative – has operated on the principle of “show, don’t tell.” This made sense before, but it makes extra sense now: because she’s too afraid to showcase vulnerability outright, the story has to find roundabout ways to convey that she isn’t as heartless as she would prefer to be seen.

Exhibit A: she claimed to believe that all killers deserve death, but when given the chance to coerce a killer into suicide, she faltered.

Exhibit B: she callously remarked that Fuyuhiko deserved his injuries, but when given the chance not to attend his recovery party, she did anyway. She tried to pass it off as an interest in the party itself, but never before had she established herself as a party-lover – quite the opposite; she called the Imposter’s party “lame” in 2-1 – making this an obvious bluff. So obvious, in fact, that Hajime “I know Nagito has the Liar Disease but I’ll take his words literally” Hinata immediately sees through it.

Exhibit C: at the party, she insisted that Fuyuhiko wasn’t forgiven yet and promised that, if push came to shove, he’d bear the brunt of any dangerous situation. But when given the chance to make good on this promise and force him to stay at the hospital, the idea didn’t even cross her mind. It was Fuyuhiko who rose to the occasion.

And finally, Exhibit D: she claims to wish the Despair Disease patients would kill themselves, but when given a chance to ditch – to give into her paranoia right away – she takes on a de-facto leader role in forming the plan to keep the patients safe. She doesn’t just come up with the idea, she spearheads the whole thing, from assigning her classmates roles to prompting Kazuichi to design a communication method between the hospital and motel. The player can’t progress to the next scene without speaking specifically to her.

So then… how does this all tie back to Mahiru? Well, I like to think of it in terms of before vs. after Nekomaru's sacrifice.

Before Nekomaru's sacrifice, it was Mahiru’s ideals of restoration that allowed Hiyoko to forgive Fuyuhiko, thereby doing away with some of her paranoia. After, it’s Mahiru’s ideals of teamwork that allow her to help combat the Despair Disease. Recall that, in the aftermath of the sacrifice, Hiyoko claimed there was no value in working together and that she didn’t want to be involved in any team efforts. Then why, pray tell, does she work together with her peers in this scene? Because it’s a last-ditch effort at honoring Mahiru – at doing what Mahiru would’ve done.

Of course, I say “last-ditch” because, no matter which way you slice it, the damage is already done. Hiyoko can work with her classmates to prevent another killing, but she can’t trust them – can’t get close to them. Mahiru’s ideals are strong, but in the face of overwhelming paranoia, they’re only enough to allow Hiyoko one final bow before she sequesters herself in her room.

We're given the impression that this withdrawal is just another act of selfishness – that Hiyoko is just trying to avoid the Despair Disease – but that turns out to be only part of the reason. Flash forward to the investigation, we learn that it was yet another last-ditch effort, this time to honor Mahiru by bathing and then tying her kimono the way she was taught. In her now empty motel room, Sonia expresses a regret: she didn’t understand what Hiyoko was going through – not really – and so she gave her some advice about a mirror then left her alone. It all comes together thematically from there.

Because of Hiyoko’s takeaway from Nekomaru’s sacrifice, she closed herself off from her peers (both literally and figuratively), and this furthered the divide between her and Fuyuhiko’s arcs. Nekomaru’s words caused Fuyuhiko to realize that this new life of his wasn’t a spare; it was precious. Nekomaru’s actions, on the other hand, caused Hiyoko to realize that her life was a fragile thing, and instead of becoming self-preserving like Fuyuhiko, she became self-isolating. She believed the only way to avoid a meaningless death was to go it alone, but going it alone – that is, isolating herself to the point where no one could understand her enough to help her – became her undoing.

But was that undoing meaningless? From an overarching narrative standpoint, maybe. Her death has no lasting impact on the rest of the story (she comes up again only when her grown-up picture is discovered in 2-6), and the way it’s incorporated into the trial is downright sloppy. But when it comes to her death by itself – to the individual story it tells – boy oh boy does it have meaning, and the character most to thank for that is undoubtedly Mahiru.

Mahiru is what allows Hiyoko’s death to feel like something built up to, like something character-driven, as opposed to a shoehorned-in, hollow chapter 3 death. She makes it so that Hiyoko’s “wrong place, wrong time” scenario – while unlucky – is anything but random. The reason Hiyoko finds herself in that wrong place at the wrong time isn't sporadic misfortune; it’s the result of her grief, paranoia, lack of self-sustainability – and even to some extent even DR2’s theme of the burden of talent. It’s the tragedy to Fuyuhiko’s triumph and a poignant subversion of the usual Danganronpa formula, with Mahiru at the heart of it.

Mikan being the one to kill Hiyoko only works as well as it does because of Mahiru, too. She didn't do it out of spite, didn't hunt Hiyoko down or kidnap her. Hiyoko just happened to walk in on her killing Ibuki. But again, while this may be unlucky, it’s not at all random – not from a storytelling angle. Hiyoko heads to the music venue in the first place in a bid to prove her independence, yes, but it’s only because Mahiru has become so enmeshed with her idea of independence that this is the case. If being independent were the only thing driving her, she wouldn’t have found herself struggling with her kimono to begin with. She would have weathered the storm and gone without bathing until the Despair Disease passed. She’d done it before, after all. But she was desperate to honor Mahiru, to prove that Mahiru’s death wasn’t in vain because – hey, look – she’s self-sustaining now. Honoring Mahiru became her way of regaining control over not just her hygiene, but her life as well.

Speaking of control, bullying Mikan was one of the few things – squishing ants included – that served to give Hiyoko the sense of control over things for which she longed. Even at Fuyuhiko's recovery party, she used Mikan as an emotional scapegoat to avoid coming across as vulnerable, insulting her to distract from the fact that she’d just forgiven Mahiru’s killer. And yet, here, in her last-ditch effort to prove her independence – to prove her control – Mikan becomes that final, uncontrollable variable. She uses Hiyoko to regain control over things, and Hiyoko is helpless to stop it. This subtle role reversal is a refreshing instance of nuance in an otherwise very heavy-handed case; I’d take it over a cliché revenge plotline anyday.

And as if the irony of the situation weren't already there in spades, consider this: Hiyoko believed that human connection was a death sentence, and while she was mistaken when it came to everyone else, she was right when it came to Mahiru. Her inability to let Mahiru go is what led her to her own demise. The story doesn't say one way or another if her outlook is right or wrong; it lays the facts out on the table and lets the player decide for themselves. Although I do think some interpretations of her character are more correct than others, Hiyoko is ultimately up in the air to discuss, and that’s something I can appreciate about any character.

All in all, if a death symbolic of Hiyoko's lifelong demons is what her journey in 2-3 was building to from the start (which I firmly believe it was), then in order for Mahiru's impact to not be wasted, she just had to remain instrumental to that journey until the very end. In that sense, I'd say she succeeded.

Conclusion:

Hear that? That's the sound of my fingers dying.

Well then, it seems we’ve reached the end. Yay. :)

This took me over a month to complete, and I’m honestly happy with how it came out. I wish I’d discovered how fun it is to write argumentative pieces like this sooner – though, then again, having posted this means I won’t be beating the “obsessed with Mahiru and Hiyoko” allegations anytime soon lol. Hopefully you found some of my points compelling, regardless of what you personally think of either of them.

Thanks for reading!

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Memory Lane

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You and Nagito reminisce about your time in the Neo-World Program, with some help from all the footage recorded by the Future Foundation. It turns out this includes a LOT of sex. What else happens when you strand teenagers in swimsuits together on an island? Luckily, Nagito seems as 'nostalgic' as you are.

Word Count: 4.5k

Tags/Themes: Semi-Public Sex, Public Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Doggy Style, Loss of Virginity, Floor Sex, Office Sex, Table Sex, Desk Se, xall the kinds of sex apparently, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Creampie, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, but like through video, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, but of themselves, Sex Tapes, Beach Sex, Nipple Play, Slightly Dubious Massaging, dont know how else to tag that, Island Mode, Female Reader, She/her Pronouns for Reader

A/N: It's all under the cut bc even the first line is pretty explicit... uh... have fun!

READ ON AO3

By the time you found yourself face-down, cunt-up in front of Nagito Komaeda on the dingy floor of the old, once-abandoned building, you had only known him for two weeks. 

It was a flurry of mishaps and fumbles that seemed to happen in a blink of an eye, even when trying to recall it all to make sense of it. Even within the limited (tiny, frankly) amount of time you’d known him, you chalked it up to his luck without a second thought. You’d seen the spills he’d taken with Mikan- though, this, of course, was more than that.

“Fuu- uhh- uck,” You whined out, voice bouncing in time with the way Nagito desperately pistoned his hips back and forth, burying himself inside of you again and again at a dizzying speed. You hadn’t even had the time to fully remove your panties, which hung off of one thigh haphazardly, much less your clothes. The two of you had pushed your skirt and his jacket out of the way without a second thought.

It had started with a couple of touches that Nagito lingered on for just a millisecond too long, just enough for you to feel a base, instinctual reaction to realizing your silly, fleeting, once-thought-unrequited attraction was mutual. You remembered that morning, how you laughed at yourself for feeling a flutter of butterflies in your stomach when chores were being delegated at breakfast when you found out you’d be cleaning the building with him. But even then, you had just pictured brushing hands, maybe making him laugh, perhaps even engaging in a little banter that toed the line of flirty- but not this.

“S- so good, so good,” He whimpered. “You’re so in- incredibly tight- I never imagined- oh-” And you were more than inclined to agree with him. It was the bad teenage judgment and hormones that made it feel so good. The flush on your face, his panting breath, the hands on you that you couldn’t exactly call familiar but could no longer imagine ever thinking strange, it all ignited so quickly. The flash of well-fueled kindling given the right spark.

And of course- you couldn’t believe it was him. Nagito, with his soft smiles and self-deprecating comments and his stupid wallet chain. Over the course of the long, long days on the island gathering materials bright and early, finding Hope Fragments, and sharing meals and conversations together late at night, it felt like you’d known him- wanted him- for so much longer. 

“Komaeda,” Your fingers scratched against the tacky carpeting, trying to find purchase. Your knees were surely already rug burned and bruised. Still, you pleaded with him, “Fuck me, fuck me- oh, yes! H- harder!”

*

Within the room the Neo-World project pods were still held on the real Jabberwock Island, you peeked through your fingers as you held your hands over your face in shame at the explicit scene playing on one of the large screens. The quality of the speakers and graphics had been sacrificed slightly during the setup. It was clear the three leaders of the project had made do with what hardware they could find. It was perfectly serviceable, but the slightly grainy quality of it all only made it feel more like you were watching a homemade porno, or worse, the voyeuristic taping of a young couple by some pervert. The fact that it was you only made it a little better.

This was surely not what the Future Foundation had wanted when they’d asked you and your partner to sort through the old footage for key moments of the rehabilitation program.

“Oh God, we weren’t even on a first-name basis yet.” You groaned. Besides you, your boyfriend was watching with a distinct lack of shame you’d come to expect from him. He chewed at his knuckles absent-mindedly, the way he did when he focused in on something or became aroused in public. You wondered which one it was now. 

“...I suppose this is fortunate, in a way.” Nagito said finally, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I’m sure very few people can say they’ve captured a moment as intimate as losing their virginity on film.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure no one wants a tape of that!” You said shrilly. Of course, you had come to expect and admire his ability to find optimism in especially the strangest circumstances.

“Though, this was technically the second time we did that,” He murmured, almost to himself. It was too easy for your mind to bring back the once-faded memories of your time at Hope’s Peak, where many sessions of heavy petting finally culminated in working up the courage to bare yourselves fully to each other. On screen, Nagito was laughing breathlessly, mindlessly, as he swept back the hair that had begun to fall into his eyes.

“...so like, is it weird to find teenager you attractive now, or…” You trailed off as you listened to the much more full, musical sound of laughter spill from Nagito’s lips. You couldn’t help but admire him here, now, too. He’d only grown out his hair more, now tied back into a messy ponytail at the nape of his neck. The jutting angles of his bony body had filled out a bit and he wore his button-down quite well, even if he’d never broken the habit of wearing his collar and tie only half-done. His smile was warm and easy as he leaned back, relaxed in the rolling office chair, something you’d never seen back then. 

A particularly raucous set of moans distracted you from your admiration, and on-screen the both of you began to finish. He came across the curve of your ass with a blur of a hand and a bitten lip that did nothing to stifle him. It dripped down your legs and you moaned like it was the best part of it all.

“What a gentleman. Pulling out without asking.” You smirked. You hadn’t meant it as a tease, but it was clear he took it as one.

“Even then, I knew… with my luck…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

*

“Mmnn… ahh- ah…!” The moans and obscene wet noises coming from Nagito’s mouth echoed through the darkened dining hall. It was late, though perhaps not late enough to be splayed out across one of the tables for your boyfriend to be eating you out on his knees like a man starved. You were doing your best to keep quiet. You kept both hands clamped down- one was over your mouth, though the other had an iron grip on Nagito’s hair, pressing his face hard into your positively soaking core. However, this was likely the more discrete option, rather than letting him babble on like he tended to when overwhelmed.

You were dripping down onto the table; this was not exactly a part of your after-dinner cleaning duties, so to speak. But you had splashed water all over your skirt while doing the dishes and flashed him multiple times while trying to dry yourself off. Despite his best efforts, his hard-on was clear to you, and it had all been downhill from there.

His tongue lapped at your entrance lovingly, swirling his tongue over it and diving it deep within at sporadic moments, like he was trying to coax out any more of your wetness for him to taste. He himself was making more than enough with the way he was drooling. The mixture covered the bottom half of his face. When you caught glimpses of it, in between the long licks along the length of your slit, it shined in the dim lighting. 

His own hands struggled to keep up with two competing desires. Sometimes he dug his fingers into the skin of your thighs or spread your lips out to further delve into you, other times he palmed himself through his jeans, though he never unbuttoned the article of clothing, almost like he’d forgotten he could.

When you came a second time, your legs shook enough for both of you to struggle to keep them open. Finally, you pulled Nagito off of you. You both took a moment to simply catch your breath.

*

“Aww, I remember that one.” You cooed, continuing to slide your closer hand up and down Nagito’s thigh slowly, carefully. You went further and further up each time, but carefully avoided his bulge. “Do you remember? You came in your pants just eating me out.” He swallowed hard. Neither of you took your eyes away from the screen. He shifted in his seat and his legs spread a bit wider. He rubbed the back of his neck. He was trying to stay calm, to play the game, but it was clear he was restless already. The video in the background wasn’t any easier to pay attention to.

“Yes, I- I remember. I think I could tell when it happened, actually.” He mused. Without a word, he began to pull your seat closer to his. You couldn’t help but giggle as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “I couldn’t help it. I could barely contain myself already… I think you can see that.” He glanced pointedly at the screen. The two of you were hurriedly trying to clean up and leave, but were smiles and giggles the whole time, stealing kisses and distracting each other in equal measure.

“Yeah? And do you think you’re any better now?” You cocked your head- just enough to question him, just enough to kiss him. His face was only inches away from yours. His eyes flickered down to your lips. You moved your hand over his zipper, sliding just your fingertips over the outline of his cock experimentally, watching his expression closely. His eyelids threatened to flutter closed, but he resisted the urge. 

Slowly, he leaned in for a kiss, but just barely ghosted his lips over yours, close enough to feel him breathe. Neither of you closed the gap, instead choosing to simply look at the other, having fun with this game of chicken. His hand slid up the back of your shirt, his fingertips skimming across the sensitive skin there. Your back arched, inadvertently making you pull back just an inch. He cocked his head back at you- just enough to tease you, just enough to get away with it.

“Maybe time has given me a little more self-control.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and pulled away to queue up another portion. “We have more footage to go through.”

*

“N- Nagito! I think that’s enough!”

“Hmm? Oh, not at all.” The two of you sat beneath a large beach umbrella. You sat back to front, with Nagito’s chin resting on your shoulder, fitting neatly alongside you as he ‘helped’ you apply more sunscreen. It had started on your back, but soon his hands moved around to your arms… then your stomach… and now they toyed underneath the edges of your bikini top. His hands roved over your skin at his leisure. His touches threatened to give you a wardrobe malfunction more and more with each passing section. You looked out towards the sea, where a couple of your friends were. It was surfing day, which meant that Akane and Nekomaru had taken a few people out. It also meant that they were pretty far out. You could barely make out who was who.

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you ended up burned when I could have prevented it.” He was being very thorough, making sure nothing on you went untouched- your shoulders, your sides, the top of your chest left exposed by your swimsuit- nothing he didn’t happily rub cream into.

“I think you’ve done a much better job than I would have already- w- wait!” Nagito began to completely disregard what was covering your skin. His hands moved under it and massaged and groped your breasts. He clicked his tongue at you disapprovingly.  

“What a large spot to miss. Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.” He purred, nuzzling into your neck. His hands continue spreading the sunscreen around onto your breasts, gliding over your skin easily, rubbing over your nipples as he did so. You pressed your legs together as the sparks his touches lit in your chest shot through your body. His thumbs circled over your buds attentively, slowly, interspersed with rolling them between his fingers. Then, all at once, his hands disappeared. “Ah, I’ll need more.” You tried to regain your mental footing as he grabbed the tube, and with his in front of you, squirted a generous amount into his hands and spread it evenly over them. Despite the heat, you shivered with anticipation. “There we go.” He ducked his head to kiss your neck. You squirmed at the sensation, only feeling even more tingly. While you were distracted, his hands snuck once more back under your swimsuit.

The cream was cold again on your skin, barely warmed by Nagito’s hands. You hissed at the sensation, though it broke into a moan halfway through as he continued to cover you with the cream. You glanced back at your friends. They seemed to be occupied with the large waves coming in. The luck of it all didn’t escape you. It was hard to relax with them in sight, but Nagito seemed determined to have you do exactly that.

“Your body is amazing, you feel so wonderful,” He gushed, “I don’t know why you trusted me with this task, but I’ll make sure it turns out as well as it can for you.”

“You’re- you’re doing a lot more than what I asked.” You tried to scold him, but your voice shook. The sight of the cream all over your chest conjured mental images of much more. The sudden, perverted impulse from Nagito was admittedly intoxicating, and he sounded more than happy about it. He felt more than happy about it; his bulge pressed against your back. If you were less frustrated with the time and place he’d chosen to do something like this, perhaps you would have ground against it. As it stood, you refused to help him move this along.

He ignored your comment. “Hmm, this is getting in the way.” He pulled at your top. “I’ll just have to… ah, but my hands are occupied.”

“I’m not taking it off!” You half-whispered, despite nobody being nearly close enough to hear you.

“That’s alright, you won’t have to lift a finger. In fact, stay exactly as you are.” He pressed his lips against the back of your neck. You swallowed hard, thinking he was going to kiss you once more, but instead, you felt him move in a pattern you didn’t understand. That is, until you felt the strings of your bikini tug and then loosen all at once-

“Nagito!” You gasped, as your top fell off. You rushed to cover yourself, pulling it against your chest as best you could, inadvertently trapping his hands against you. “You- you- eek!” He only began his ministrations once more. “W- wait, we could- let’s turn around-”

“I don’t believe you’re supposed to tense so much during a massage.” He pushed your arms away. You tentatively let your arms and the clothing drop. Your face and frankly, entire body felt hot and you knew you couldn’t blame it solely on the sun. You pulled your knees up, hoping it would cover you enough. Your bare chest was now out in the open, though shaded by a tilted umbrella and shielded from view by your legs and boyfriend’s hands. “Much better.” He chirped, all too smugly. Now, however, you were slightly worried that if anyone approached from the ocean, they’d be able to see the huge wet spot in your bottoms. You supposed you should take it one problem at a time.

*

“You were absolutely… incorrigible that day.” You swallowed hard. You gripped the edges of the desk tightly, watching the footage recorded on the camera that had been at the perfect angle to catch you two in the act. After all of this, you were starting to wonder if the man whose lap you were perched atop had wanted to be seen on the cameras. You wouldn’t have doubted it. You pulled at the hem of your skirt, hoping what was on the tops of your legs was enough to cover what was happening underneath, and Nagito’s own unbuttoned and undone pants. You squeezed the walls of your pussy around him, but of course, did not otherwise move from your spot with his cock all the way inside you. 

He let out a shaky breath. “It- It was the first time I’d seen you in your swimsuit. I- I couldn’t help myself.” His leg bounced rapidly, trying to contain himself. He wasn’t much better at that, even now. It had only been a couple of minutes after you’d pushed your panties aside and taken a seat on his cock, but he seemed practically ready to burst. You mused that you’d have your fun regardless of if he needed to cum like this or if he could hold out to fuck you when you were satisfied.

“Yeah, you were never that handsy again.” You took his hand and kissed his knuckles. He shuddered. His hips twitched. You rocked your own the tiniest bit as punishment. He squeaked and dug his fingers into your sides. 

“I guess I got it out of my system.” His strained voice said. In truth, you also adjusted because you simply couldn’t take how deep he was inside of you. He was more than stretching you out- you could feel the head of his cock reaching as far as you could take it. It almost didn’t seem real how much was inside of you, how snug everything was, how it felt like he was just shy of too big to be doing this. You had to move so he wasn’t pressed so much against your cervix. You were sure that by now, you were starting to drip around the base of his cock. You hoped it wouldn’t stain his pants. It wouldn’t be too much longer, now.

*

“You- you- you!” You shoved Nagito hurriedly inside the beach house, still clutching your untied top to your chest until you were inside. Nagito finally looked guilty as you pressed him against the wall with your free hand. “I- I am so- you-” You sputtered. He shrank a bit, clearly waiting for you to berate him. You dropped to your knees and pulled down his swim trunks.

Nagito gasped and moaned at once as your hand wrapped around his cock. You stroked it quickly, pausing only for a second to spit into your hand for lubricating. His knees buckled and he sank a bit down against the wall.

“Is this what you wanted?” You huffed, licking him up from base to tip with no warning. He cursed under his breath. “Is this what you were hoping for?” You squeezed your grip a bit harder, tightening up as you worked him. It twitched in your hand. His cock was flushed, hard, and clearly eager. You heard his nails scratch at the wall. He could only whimper in response to your questions. Only moans fell from his lips. “Naughty boy.” You met his eyes as you kissed the tip of his cock, flicking your tongue out to lick up the large bead of precum that had formed there. He was panting, face flushed, and mouth open in both disbelief and pleasure. “But such a cute one.” You opened your mouth and took as much of him as you could all at once. He cried out in surprise. You didn’t give him a second to get adjusted before beginning to bob your head back and forth around it.

His dick was hot and heavy in your mouth. He smelled like his musk and sunscreen. You liked blowing him when he let you- and he was the only man you’d ever met who would refuse a blowjob- for all the little things you noticed each time. The way he shifted and squirmed when you used your mouth on him, though you hadn’t realized just how abashed he was about it until the first time that he’d had to cover his mouth with his hands. Something about it and the knit in his brows made you understand exactly why he was always so bright red. 

Nagito would never ask you to do this, but he clearly loved it. When he wasn’t covering your face, his hands would shake as they hovered around your head anxiously, doing his best not to grab at you, or do anything that would rush you in anyway (despite how much you wanted to see it). And when you surprised him enough, you would get to see just how quickly you could make him hard. He would forget to keep himself quiet, and Nagito was already a very vocal person in and out of bed. You got to hear everything unfettered. Today, however, he was more than already in the mood.

You used your hand to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth so easily. You moved it in sync with your quick rhythm. Your other hand absent-mindedly bunched into his trunks, something to ground yourself with as you lost yourself to pleasing him.

“You’re amazing, oh! your mouth is- your mouth is so amazing- ah, I don’t deserve to even s- see you on your knees, much less th- this- yes, yes, yes, yes-” He finally stopped babbling when you changed your pattern up to get your lips wrapped all the way around the base of his cock. You gagged slightly and had to pull off. It was fine, because the way you’d been drooling around him made it even easier to jack him off. You licked at the underside of his head, a place you knew he was particularly sensitive. He rewarded you with an extra loud keen- one that if you had any rational brain left would have made you wonder if they could hear you outside of the room. However, right now, you had only one thought on your mind.

“You should let me do this more often.” You said, before you were sucking his cock once more.

*

“I was r- right-” Your mouth fell into a sloppy grin as your boyfriend bent you over the desk. You shoved papers and electrical appliances on the table onto the floor that you already knew would be a bitch to clean up later. He had slipped out of you while you’d gotten adjusted, but you were so wet it was easy for him to push right back into you. You sighed with satisfaction. You’d felt quite empty in the couple of moments he wasn’t in you. 

Nagito grabbed your arm, pulling it behind you to find leverage. His other hand pressed against the desk.“You were incredibly right.” He said in a voice that made you think he would have agreed to anything he said. But, as he thrusted into you, deep and sudden, you felt rather agreeable yourself. The movement sent a jolt through your body, pushing your face up. Your eyes fell naturally back onto what was happening.

You hadn’t gotten to see Nagito’s expression well while you were on your knees, but you could see his lips curved into a dazed-looking, open-mouthed smile. It was probably a lot like the one you had on your face now. You also hadn’t realized exactly how Nagito was looking at you- soft, besotted and adoring. Had he looked at you like that all this time?

“Please,” Nagito begged on screen. He was finally clutching your hair. His head moved back and forth, trying to keep up with the feeling. “Please, please, please, please-” You couldn’t even tell what he had been begging for- not then, not now. But just like then, it turned you on to no end. Nagito groaned particularly loudly behind you. It seemed he agreed.

“I- I should have been on my knees for you-”

“You did that in- in the other one.” You managed to say. The desk dug into your hipbones. On screen, you dug your fingers into Nagito’s hip bones. “It’d be b- boring!” Your voice moved in time with the way he fucked you, like he was pushing buttons you didn’t know about. You arched your back for him. It reminded you of the first video of the two of you had seen. You knew now exactly how much he’d liked it then.

“Are you gonna cum, pervert?” You teased him on screen. Your hand was relentless on him. “You wanna cum all over my chest?”

“Oh- oh- this is- is going to kill me-” He responded.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You snickered. You popped the tip back into your mouth and didn’t stop. Behind you, Nagtio sped up. He took the hand behind you with his, lacing your fingers together and squeezing. 

“You were so b- beautiful then, you’re so beautiful now- so tight-”

“I’m glad that’s still true,” You grinned at the screen, even though he couldn’t see it. The Nagito you could see was shaking visibly. You knew those desperate little squeaks anywhere. “Oh look at you,” You groaned, feeling a rush of lust. “You’re about to cum- why have we not made a sex tape on purpose?” Nagito laughed behind you. You squeezed his hand back.

“I- I’m gonna-” On screen Nagito warned. It was all the had to say before you were pointing his cock over your chest and open mouth. With one particularly high-pitched moan, he began to cum all over you, and you accepted it eagerly. You got to see yourself covered in Nagito’s cum. How debased you looked, how much he enjoyed it.

“You were covered in my- you let me- you wanted-” Your boyfriend babbled behind you. “Hah… it’s h- having the same effect even now,” His voice was thick with a loving tone that reminded you of the expression he’d made in the video. You realized that he still looked at you like that.

“Inside, inside, inside,” You pleaded, moving your hips to meet him in his thrusts. You were also close.

“Yes, yes!” The desk shook with the force of his movements. You could hear files and supplies rattling around in their drawers. If you were going to have to fix everything, you wanted to do it with Nagito’s cum still dripping out of you.

“Nagito, Nagito- ah- I- I love you- ohh!”

“I love you,” He echoed at once, “I love you, I love you, I love you- I-” With that, he fulfilled your request, burying himself inside of you as he came, filling you up even more with it. Your eyes rolled up at the feeling and you followed him soon after. Your hands both trembled within each other’s, but held firm nonetheless. Even after all this time, Nagito made you feel that hot, addictive feeling you couldn’t find anywhere else. Your mind blanked save for his words, which echoed around your head. Even still, Nagito filled you with that hot, Nagito didn’t stop until a long moment had passed and he began to soften. You recovered hand-in-hand. Finally, he spoke again. But after, you wished he hadn’t.

“...Do you think they asked us to sort through these because of all of the, er, time we spent together?”

“...oh God.”

[princescar]

Thinking about how tf did Nagito knew about Ryoko.

He never canonically meets her, and we never hear or see him and Matsuda meet (ik he has dementia and thats Matsudas specialty, but he has never made a refrence to his treatment, let alone that matsuda is his doctor, which is weird bc chihiro makes a refrence to him and hes refrenced on hajimes page of the artbook). Also he includes the a Madarai brother chilling with them.

But then i think about the dr0 refrences he makes in sdr2.

one of his loved gifts is ryoko's notebook. Damaged, of course, but hes the only one who loves it, nobody even likes it (Not even Mikan). But he also makes a comment during a FTE that hes been reading a novel where a highschool girl is caught up in a serial killer case, but turned out to be the killer in the end. Which sounds alot like Dr0.

Which makes me think, did he read Ryoko's Notebook when Junko died?

She does keep the notebook, stated on the last chapter of Dr0. So she would still have it, and Nagito did go to the school for her hand, so he could’ve easily gotten it. He could’ve then read it, knowing what had happened and learning about Ryoko and Yasuke. Also why he includes the Madarai brother when there would be no connection outside of dr0.

[ouma-kichi]

Mahiru Koizumi, Peko Pekoyama, Ibuki Mioda, Mikan Tsumiki, and Chiaki Nanami with a crush on yo

LOL SO LIKE. i completely abandoned this account but i felt a little nostalgic and checked on it and this draft was here, it was originally gonna be the whole drv2 cast but i am not finishing this so here is all that is left because if youre for some reason still here you at least deserve this

Info/Warnings: no warnings, besides things that could be considered spoilers for the game ? reader is gender nonspecific, though pronouns r not even used !

---also these first few are from april 14 holy shit---

Mahiru Koizumi:

i guess this would be the most obvious thing, but she would definitely take pictures of you basically constantly

she cant help it okay !! its like every single moment shes with you is so so important to her that she can't help but just snap pictures at every moment

like she already takes pictures all the fuckin time but NOW....

now that she has a subject that she believes to be so effortlessly breathtaking.

now that she has a model who can do something simple- quietly flipping through the pages of a book, breathing softly in peaceful moments, looking at her with sleepy eyes- and look so utterly captivating.

now that she has something worth taking photos of.

she really cant help but take a picture every time you turn to look at her.

its like she sits there for a moment; her eyes widening in the same way the aperture of her lens widens, to take in more light, to take in more of you

and she absolutely makes sure her camera is in focus . she constantly has her focus on you, it simply wouldn't do you justice if her camera didn't do the same

you make her so blushy.

before either of you realize it, she has her camera pointed toward you, with a giggle and a red face

she secretly thinks its a disservice to ignore how perfect you are to her. with a sigh, she believes art with your beauty as the focal point is simply something you deserve.

her camera serves as her eyes, she uses the lens to look at the world

but most importantly, she uses them to look at you

Peko Pekoyama:

oh she is super protective but not in the LOUD CHARISMATIC GOOFY WAY (like akane p much hehe)

instead she's protective in a very silent way

like she doesn't protect you by goin LEMME BEAT THE BAD GUY UP she simply protects you because that's what's natural to her

she would never be the type to scream out how much she cares about you from rooftops, but she's always there beside you

you know she likes you in every moment you're together, she shows it in very quiet and subtle ways

in the way she walks silently beside you, eyes carefully observing for any sense of danger or even just annoyance that threatens you

the way she gently pushes you behind her, when she comes to defuse a heated argument you're in

the way she grips you tight in any possible moment of fear

the way she plays with your hair, her calloused and tired hands gently touching your hair, as she waits for you to fall asleep at night

the way she looks at you, warm eyes and slightly red cheeks

the way she carefully remembers things about you, everything you've ever told her

the way she makes you feel safe

the way she makes you feel held

the way you want to be protected by her

the way you want to be held by her

Ibuki Mioda:

oooowowoowo she would definitely be like super straightforward about it

i mean this is ibuki we're talkin about !!

and shes very loud about it too

like she'll do shit like stereotypical shit like writing songs about you or serenading you at concerts

she probably named an album after you, and she used like a voicemail from u as like the intro to one of her songs

its like her brain just NEVER EVER shuts up about you

first of all, she is barely ever apart from you .. she absolutely will constantly be at your side just because she wants to laugh with you

but even when you're apart she's still just !!!!!!!!!!!!!! thinking about you !!!!

so of course she just writes every single soft feeling for you and word vomits it all into songs

the first few months after she realized she really liked you was a period where literally every song she wrote was just .. about you

there's a solid chunk of her discography that is just

(listen i really wanted to write nonsense song titles for ibukis section)

Sugary Sweet Lovesick Girl

Butterflies In Digestive Organs

An Eye For An Eye (And My Eye's On You)

Crushing Hard, Ms. Hydraulics

Puppy Love For Barking Dogs

I Should've Brought My Inhaler (With The Way U Take My Breath Away)

Sights for Sore Eyes, Touches for Tired Hands

it's easily her biggest form of expression, and she has so much to say about you

so be prepared for her next album to be full of references to the days you spend together

references to your face and the way your eyes look at her

and references to all her feelings for you

Mikan Tsumiki:

oh man she is so obsessed with you

like at first shes like U-UM A-A-ARE Y-YOU P-PRANKING ME ? bc youre so fucking nice to her

obviously she is not used to gentle treatment, i think that's partially why she fell for you so fast

she has never been treated in a kind and soft and loving way in her entire life, and now ?? some mf just genuinely wants to be around her

you just wanna be with her

and she very much wants to be with you

i mean she has never been treated with any sort of respect ever, and she is so insecure and afraid ..

and suddenly, you come along and you treat her with care and with love

slowly but surely, she starts to realize that you genuinely care about her and you're safe and you're not tricking her and she is just. so smitten

very much following her whole "you... are the one who has forgiven me..." dialogue from the game

she realizes, every time she cries out and begs for you to forgive her (for something you didn't even care about), you will always just look at her with a smile

you'll always look at her and say it's okay

because you forgive her.

so she never wants to be away from you, and most of the time you're never separated anyways

she clings to you, because you make everything feel okay. you make her feel okay when she panics or starts to tremble.

when she can hardly speak from anxiety, when she starts to spiral

when it feels like the entire world is falling apart, you make it okay

even if it's just for a moment,

everything's okay

because she knows you'll forgive her

---this part is frome june 25 lol---

Chiaki Nanami:

oh she is really fucking soft and cute

i think this is really obvious but she would absolutely make you play games with her constantly

she basically lives, breathes, and eats games so its kinda a no brainer here

and it's very important to her

because she isn't good at dating games, she doesn't quite understand the inner workings of human interaction, and she certainly doesn't know where to even begin with talking to you

she really doesn't want anything to be awkward or weird

and so... games

sometimes when you're playing, she sits there, with her cheeks all puffed up and her cat hood on, focused on whatever game she decided to show you that day

before sneaking small glances at you, glances that probably go unnoticed on your end

but man those small glances and the little moments she spends playing with you really mean a lot

because she only really knows how to connect with people via video game

[heroofspiritsisthebestlink]

With the resurgence of the Hinamiki Agenda, I realized there was a wall of text I wrote for them that I never posted here.

So here it is. Why I think Hinamiki rules.

You often hear that there are two sides to every coin. Every toss of said coin can determine drastically different outcomes. People nurtured into the mundane often dream of more, and people dragged through the extreme wish for less.

Hajime Hinata is born as what equates to a commoner in this world of overglorification of the talented. He lives what we consider a normal life, and like many others, dream of attending Hope's Peak Academy and enter the ranks of the socially elite super star teenagers. Finally, he finds a way in, though disappointingly through the Reserve Course.

And it's hell. There's nothing special about being a Reserve Course student at Hope's Peak, unless you count being treated like societies biggest joke from both sides of the spectrum. The other talentless of the world see you as a rich asshole pretender, and the main course students see you as worthless garbage. The police even do it too. Or at least, the lives of a main course student is more socially valuable.

But then Hajime is granted a choice. A choice to be more, a choice to ascend. To become what he's always dreamed of, someone of talent and of what society deems of worth. So of course he takes it.

And, without knowledge, he's turned into a monster.

Mikan Tsumiki is born into an abusive household. She's tormented, bullied and beaten at both school and at home. It's never explicitly stated why, but somewhere along this way, she develops an enormous abandonment complex, to the point where she prefers mistreatment over isolation. There's no one to help her but herself, something she eventually takes to a fatalistic conclusion by teaching herself how to heal her own wounds when no one would. Her expertise in the medical field stems from self treatment just to make it through to the next day. Childhood is hell. Middle school is hell. There's nothing she can do, and nobody is willing to do anything for her.

Until one day, something does. She gets scouted for Hope's Peak Academy as the Ultimate Nurse. Her achievements are heralded as incredible, her fight for survival indirectly romanticised as "worthy of prestige." It's morally garish, but she starts attending. And it turns into the best years of her life. Sure, some people still pick on her and take advantage of her obsessive need for attention, but it's still the comparatively healthiest environment she's ever lived in. She has friends. For the first time in her life, she's thriving, even if it's in somewhat unhealthy ways.

But then someone has plans for the world. Someone is in need of autonomous slaves, willing to carry out her will in her absence. And Mikan is taken in, and much like the rest of her life, she is given no choice in the matter, forced to return to that harmful path.

And she, once again without a say in the matter, is turned into a monster.

Two sides of the same coin that flips through the air, one side twisting to take up the position that the other previously held. Joy to despair. Despair to joy. The coin keeps falling, barrelling towards the bottom, destined to land with one side up, and the other scorned. Both sides can't both win.

Unless someone catches that coin.

One thing that keeps striking me when I look over the interactions Hajime and Mikan have is that despite how much the two mirror each other as opposites, they still find much common ground. They're both scared and insecure of others not deeming them worth their time, but differs in how they express it and subconsciously enact on it. But, through talking, they find a sort of conversational kinship. Hajime reassures Mikan that she doesn't need to do anything to deserve friendship, and she, in turn, gets on his case to take better care of himself. Any attempt at hiding his pain is something she picks up on, given her heightened perception she's gained through her own trials.

Through his ardent kindness, he's able to make her calm down and have a regular conversation with her without enabling her worst coping mechanisms, which is a really difficult balance to hit. He is the only one Mikan ever opens up to, given he's the only one Mikan trusts not to be repulsed by her ugly past and distance from her. That's an incredibly difficult step to take, and I wish that was recognized more.

It's cheesy, but I really do think they make for an interesting whole when these two halves come to talk, each showing the other a path to deal with their respective issues, and then imploring the other to walk down it.

Love isn't a cure. Junko's version is an example of that, it's not instafix or bandaid solution.

Instead, love is a symptom. A symptom of joy, progress and hope. Hope that you can have enough faith in yourself and your life to share joy unconditionally.

Top image is an edit made by Twitter user @ weebainu

Bottom image is a sprite edit illustration made by Twitter user @ middinos

[lanawrx]

Zenitsu Agatsuma with a GF who acts like Mikan Tsumiki

a/n: I kinned Mikan a few years ago so I definitely would've adored to read smth like this in 2021 lol. Zenitsu, my glorious king, would absolutely love her right.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

When Zenitsu first saw you, he was instantly smitten by how utterly gorgeous you were.

You were the newest addition to the Butterfly Mansion, taken in by the Insect Pillar after proving your proficiency in medicine.

Many would argue you were almost at her level with the way you immediately got to work administering medicine, cures, and patching up slayers as soon as they landed in the recovery bay.

He’d seen you bustling around the mansion, always with a nervous smile and quick apologies whenever you bumped into someone.

You had a sort of anxious grace about you, a delicate way of moving that immediately caught his eye. Zenitsu, who was already a nervous wreck himself, couldn’t help but be drawn to you.

You were in the middle of helping one of the other assistants, your hands trembling slightly as you organized medical supplies. Your cheeks were flushed as you fumbled with a bandage roll, and Zenitsu was practically glued to the spot, his heart pounding faster with each clumsy gesture you made.

Finally, he mustered the courage to approach.

“Um, hi!” he said, his voice trembling a little. “I’m Zenitsu. You’re, um… the new assistant here, right?”

You looked up, startled, your eyes wide and your hands quickly stopping their movements. “Oh! Y-yes, that’s right,” you stammered, your cheeks turning a bright shade of red. “I’m, um... I’m sorry if I’m in your way.”

Zenitsu was immediately taken with your nervous charm. “N-no, not at all!” he blurted out. “Actually, I, um, I’ve been wanting to talk to you. You’re really… well, you’re really pretty and kind, and, um…”

He trailed off, his nerves getting the better of him. You looked even more anxious, and Zenitsu’s heart ached seeing you like that. He couldn’t help but blurt out, “W-would you, um, maybe want to, you know, marry me?”

You blinked at him, stunned, and your face went even redder. “M-marry you?” you squeaked, your voice barely a whisper. “I, um, I don’t think I’m—”

“No, no, it’s just that, um, I don’t have long to live, and, uh, I thought, maybe, you’d want to—” Zenitsu fumbled, face burning hot with embarrassment.

He usually has terrible luck with women, but to speak to someone as beautiful as you had him stumbling to keep his cool.

Before he could finish, you looked like you were about to crumble. Tears welled up in your eyes as you trembled, “I-I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable! I’m just… I’m really bad at, um, socializing, and—”

Zenitsu’s eyes widened, and he rushed to reassure you. “No, no, it’s not that! I just—uh, I really like you! I think you’re amazing and—”

You started to fidget with your hands, your voice trembling. “I-I’m sorry, I just, um, I’m not good at, um, understanding these kinds of things. I’m always worried I’m bothering people, and…”

Zenitsu’s heart melted at your fragility. He took a deep breath and stepped closer, trying to look more confident than he felt. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m really sorry if I scared you or anything. I just thought… well, you’re really nice, and I—”

You looked up at him, your eyes full of uncertainty and confusion. “I-I don’t want to be a bother. I’ll, um, try to do better…”

Zenitsu shook his head quickly. “No, no! You’re not a bother at all! You’re just—amazing, really. And I’m sorry if I came on too strong. I just—”

“I’m sorry,” you said again, tears welling up in your eyes. “I-I didn’t mean to—”

Zenitsu’s heart ached seeing you like this. He reached out and gently touched your arm. “Hey, don’t cry. I really do like you, okay? I’m just… kind of a mess myself, but I’d really like to get to know you better. How about we just, um, hang out sometime?”

Your tears started to subside, and you looked at him with a mix of confusion and relief. “Y-you really mean that?”

Zenitsu nodded, a hopeful smile on his face. “Yeah. I do.”

You wiped your eyes and gave a tentative smile, nodding slowly. “O-okay. I’d like that.”

Zenitsu had made it his mission to be around you more often. He found excuses to be near the Butterfly Mansion’s main area, casually dropping by to help with tasks he was absolutely no good at, just so he could spend a little more time with you. Your quiet, nervous demeanor was like a magnet for his clumsy heart.

Tanjiro had been observing Zenitsu’s behavior for some time now. While he usually kept a close eye on his friends, he couldn't help but notice the significant change in Zenitsu’s demeanor since you arrived at the Butterfly Mansion.

The way Zenitsu seemed to always be around you, the way his face lit up whenever you were near, and even the overpowering scent that radiated off of Zenitsu—Tanjiro was certain his friend was in love with you.

One afternoon, while Zenitsu was nervously practicing his breathing techniques in the garden, Tanjiro approached him with a warm smile. “Hey, Zenitsu. Mind if I join you for a bit?”

Zenitsu looked up, startled, and then gave a hesitant nod. “Oh, uh, sure, Tanjiro.”

Tanjiro sat down next to him, his expression thoughtful. “I’ve noticed how much happier you’ve been lately. It’s great to see you feeling more positive.”

Zenitsu’s cheeks flushed slightly as he scratched his head, trying to look nonchalant. “W-well, it’s nothing special. I just… feel a bit better lately.”

Tanjiro’s eyes twinkled with understanding. “I have a feeling it’s because of someone special. Am I right?”

Zenitsu turned red as he stammered. "I- Well-"

Tanjiro beamed and suggested he bring flowers and a gift. He told Zenitsu to be completely honest with how he felt about you, and surely you'd feel the same.

Zenitsu was scared to death. He really didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or hurt your feelings. He wanted to show you how good of a person you are and how happy you make him just by looking at him.

Zenitsu spent the rest of the evening gathering a bouquet of flowers and selecting a thoughtful gift, his nerves mixing with excitement. He was determined to make this moment special.

The next day, Zenitsu approached you while you were working in the garden. Your usual nervous smile appeared as you noticed him.

“H-hi, Zenitsu!” you stuttered, cheeks flushing with a mix of nervousness and curiosity.

Zenitsu’s hands trembled slightly as he held out the flowers and gift. “H-hi! I, um, I brought these for you. I, uh, wanted to, well, tell you something.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you looked at the flowers and gift. “Oh! Th-these are beautiful! What, um, what’s the occasion?”

Zenitsu swallowed hard, his heart pounding. “I just wanted to say… I really like you. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. I know I’m a bit of a mess, but, um, I really care about you. I’d like to get to know you better. So, um, if you’d, maybe, want to, I don’t know, go out with me sometime? I’d really like that.”

Your eyes filled with tears as you listened, your heart fluttering with joy. “Z-Zenitsu… I-I had no idea you felt this way. I-I’m so, so happy! I-I really like you too!”

Zenitsu’s face lit up with a radiant smile, his heart swelling with relief and happiness. He gently took your hands in his, his voice trembling with emotion. “R-really? That’s great! I promise I’ll do my best to make you feel special and loved.”

Without thinking, you threw your arms around him, your lips meeting his in a soft, tender kiss. Zenitsu’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly melted into the kiss, his hands cradling your face gently.

When you finally pulled away, your eyes were sparkling with happiness. “I-I’ve never felt like this before… I’m so happy. I-I’m really lucky to have met you.”

He gently squeezed your hands, his eyes sparkling. “No, I’m the lucky one.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡ Thanks for Reading! ˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

[theamityelf]

(Mini THH AU Masterlist)

When they get to the beach house, Nagito finally shows Makoto the student files. He shows him that all of the senpais used to be despair.

"Wait," Makoto interrupts. "First of all, this could be a trick!"

So Nagito calls Monokuma to verify whether it's a trick or not, and Monokuma basically says that what is written in the files is true of everyone except the traitor. Then he vanishes.

"So you understand," Nagito says grimly. He's set up Makoto's sleep space on the table in the main room and arranged the usual assortment of pillows beneath, in case he should fall. He himself is kneeling on the floor, keeping to Makoto's eye level. "You understand it now, right?"

"I understand why you were upset," Makoto says carefully, "but Nagito, this doesn't change the way I feel about any of you. We don't know what happened, and...well, if you were 'despair' in the way Monokuma means it, then why would he have you guys killing each other? You'd be on his side, right? Whatever happened, I'm sure there's an explanation. I've talked to all of you; you're not bad people!"

Nagito blinks a few times. Doesn't change the way he feels? Does he truly forgive the unthinkable so easily? His heart twists with want, with need. He could be absolved by the Ultimate Hope, could pour himself into service and be washed of his filth. But the very desire to accept this naive kindness, this undeserved grace, just fills him with more self-hatred. For someone like him to take advantage of Makoto's generous soul, his misguided desire to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

He forces a laugh past the bile in his throat. "I see. You just don't understand yet! I'll do my best to explain. You see, those who give themselves to despair have no value in and of themselves. This was never about us. It was about you. Your class, but especially you. The Ultimate Hope. My classmates, as it turns out, were just as disappointing and disposable as I am."

"Nagito, the people who died in this game weren't disposable! And neither are you!"

The tight smile falls from Nagito's face. "You still...I'm sorry, I failed to explain myself. That's not good. You need to understand the situation you're in. How your innate kindness, your wonderful self, makes you every bit as unsafe as your tiny size."

"We've been safe with them all this ti-...Hey!"

Nagito has scooped Makoto into one hand, while his other hand steadies him, tidies his hair with a forefinger. "Safe?" he echoes. "You haven't forgotten Mikan, have you?"

Makoto...can't bring himself to answer that. The startled feeling of being suddenly grabbed, the reminder of what he went through with Mikan, and the growing despairful fervor in Nagito's eyes, focused squarely on him...He can't be afraid. Fear would just vindicate Nagito's...whatever this is.

"What she did to you," Nagito continued. "As soon as she had her memories back, she went out of her way to torture you. Don't you remember how helpless you were to stop her? So small and helpless. It took a mere illness to return her to her despairful ways, and the moment she did, she wanted nothing more than to hurt you. To tarnish you. Imagine if that was all of them. If every one of them remembered who they once were-"

"Nagito..."

"Do you understand it now? They don't care about the deaths of a few servants of despair. They don't even want the Ultimate Hope dead. They want to destroy everything that you are, to subject you to the most-"

"Nagito!"

Nagito putters to a stop. He realizes that he's shaking. He breathes deeply.

"I-If that were true," Makoto continues, "why would Monokuma let you know? Why would he give you a chance to protect me?"

"It doesn't matter what Monokuma wants. He's merely another stepping stone. What matters is who you are and who they are."

"So, you plan to just stay here forever?"

This time, his laugh doesn't sound forced...but it doesn't sound happy, either. "Oh, I don't think it would be quite fair to give the despair-soiled ex-Ultimates full reign of the island paradise and confine the Ultimate Hope to a little corner like this. Despair has no place on your islands."

"What does that-? Nagito. Listen to me. I don't want you to hurt any of your classmates. I don't want any of you to be hurt, at all!"

"Why do you keep saying that? How can you say that?" he whispers it, somewhat sharply.

"Because I care about you. Because you're my friends!"

"Your friends?" Nagito catches himself shaking again and quickly returns Makoto to the table before it can get really bad. He rests his own forehead on the edge, taking a minute to catch his breath as too much panic, bitterness, longing, despair, chase each other in circles within his chest. He is still shaking and feels ill when he finally raises his head to look at his kouhai again.

Makoto has been saying things to try to comfort Nagito, none of which have been effective if the look on Nagito's face is any indication. He looks like he's reached some kind of resolve within himself, but all of the turbulence is still there behind it.

"Hey, speaking of your friends," Nagito says, in a tone which approximates calm, "who would you say are your five favorite classmates?"

"What...kind of question is that?"

Nagito seems on the edge of saying something, but then he just shudders, and another laugh tumbles out of him. "Just curious," he says frivolously. "Hey, are you sure you're finished with your burger? There are drinks in the fridge. Can I get you anything?"

"You can't just change the subject like that!"

"Don't worry. After all the stress of the Funhouse, we should have a few hours to just process our predicament and our options. That means a good night's sleep for the Ultimate Hope."

"I can't sleep when my friend is upset."

Nagito loses his breath again. "I so appreciate your kindness. I swear on whatever parts of me are still worth anything, I will give it my all to repay you for the effort you waste caring about me."

"The only 'repayment' I want is for you to care about yourself."

"Ah, enough heavy talk. It's late."

Eventually, they both go to sleep. Nagito sleeps on the hard floor with just a blanket. He wakes early to the sound of seagulls swarming outside.

When he goes to check it out, he finds Kyoko, crouching under a seashell and warding off her avian attackers with a sewing needle.

[t0yac1d]

mondo, byakuya and kazuichi x fem (or gn) s/o who’s like mikan? (ex. clumsy, low self esteem, stuttery, shy, etc :D) thanks so much! i love your writing btw <3

Danganronpa Boys x Shy!F!Reader

Characters: Mondo Owada, Byakuya Togami & Kazuichi Souda

Word Count: 656

☆Mondo Owada would always stay close to you incase you trip, and when you do he catches you before you hit the floor, holding you close to him and making sure you're okay. With your low self-esteem he makes sure to tell you that you're beautiful, gorgeous, smart, incredible and all of the above. He makes sure that you know that he wants and loves you for you and not your looks and that he really does love you and all of your flaws.

He also doesn't mind your stuttering, he tells you that it's okay and to take your time, he doesn't mind waiting for you to tell him what's on your mind. He's also fairly patient and thinks your shyness is adorable, how you blush when you're nervous and how you turn your head away from him when you get slightly embarrassed. He loves it all and loves all of you.

☆Byakuya Togami doesn't really stay as close to you like Mondo. He stays in his space, but when you trip and fall into a revealing pose he's immediately by your side and covering you up with his jacket. He'd glare at any person laughing or looking at you. He'd deal with your low self-esteem by also giving reassurance. If you think a certain outfit would make you feel more confident in the way you look then he'd buy it for you, he feels as though if something makes you feel better about yourself or if a certain clothing brand would make you feel confident in your skin then he'd buy it immediately just for you.

But that doesn't mean he'd do it all of the time. He'd sit you down and have a heart to heart with you, he'd ask you why you think so badly about yourself and help you overcome that feeling and he'd keep doing it until you can look in the mirror and whole heartedly appreciate yourself. Now, with your stuttering. He's not a patient person, but he'd try to be and he's trying really hard to be patient. It's a work in progress but he's progressing really well, overtime he became extremely patient and would much rather wait for you to speak before speaking himself. Let's be honest, your shyness is what drew him close to you. I don't make the rules, he absolutely loves your shyness and the habits you do. Would he actually say this out loud? Hell no. But everyone with eyes can tell that he's absolutely smitten about you.

☆Kazuichi Souda is like Mondo, always around you and by your side. If you trip he'd catch you, but he's also pretty clumsy himself so he'd fall on top of you. But his body is covering you so anyone that passes by just thinks he stumbled onto you, which embarrasses you both even more. But as long as you're covered and not in any revealing pose, he's fine with getting teased about falling on you. If I'm being honest I think he'd absolutely suck at helping you with your low self-esteem only because he has the same problem. He'd try to help but he's scared that he'd accidentally make it worse. So your best bet is for the both of you to help each other and grow together.

When you stutter he finds it adorable and mentions it when you do which causes you to stutter even more. Same goes for your shyness, he loves it and it's what made him fall for you. He never saw anyone so cute in his life and so he immediately fell head over heels for you, even though he never actually spoke to you. But when he did he almost passed away because just looking at your already pinkish cheeks and how you slightly turn away when speaking just made his heart speed up. He's literally so in love with you, no one can even fathom the amount.