#*insert did it make you mad in real life screenshot here*

[swordscleric]

I am failing to ignore twitter but I did not realise the kipperlily crew were losing their mind as much as they are with brennan's interview on screenrant and the idea that kipperlily was not a good person and forced that onto the other rat grinders

[marichat-verse]

Group Chat: Jason's girlfriend

Heyyy long time no write. It's been a while since I've fully written something and i still have drafts but here's a little shitpost i came up with because my dispensing exam is finally done (and I'm happy cause i got the 2nd highest score).

It's just off the top of my head so i hope y'all don't come after me too hard. Also i initially personalized this for me but eh what the hell, here you go.

Indented lines are in your perspective

DEMIS 🧡💜

______________________________

Piper

I'm sorry but are we going to talk about the fact that Jason says "my girlfriend" on his bio??

Leo

Hol up

WAT

Jason

Guys

Leo

Jason

You have a GIRLFRIEND???

Jason

I'd really not rather talk about this right now :(

Why not? I hear she's cute :>

Jason

Really, y/n?

Piper

Who is sheee D:

Do we know her?

When will we know her?

How did you guys meet?

Annabeth

Ok pipes chill, give the guy some space

Percy

But also

Who is she 👀

Jason

PERCY >:

Will

How do we not know this?

Nico do we know this?

Nico

No

Shame man

Jason

REALLY WILL AND NICO??

U guys are like, the first ones who knew

Percy

Uhh i thought that was me n annabeth

Annabeth

🤦🏼‍♀️

Piper

I'm sorry but AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW?

Leo

Don't forget me pipes

Hazel

And me

Frank

Ngl i thought you and jason were still dating

Piper

Nah we broke up almost a year ago

We didn't really make a big deal of it

Frank

Oh, okay

Leo

@Reyna hermana are you seeing this?

Reyna

Uhh yeah?

In anticipation of your question, I had no idea that Jason was dating someone else

Piper

Y/n?

What

Piper

You know about this?

Jason's gf thing?

Yeah, i do

Jason

Wow, gf thing? Really?

Piper

Omgs sooo?

Sooo what?

Piper

Wellll who is she?

No comment

Leo

Oh come on D: pleaaase y/n

Is this because you're still mad at me

Gods leo not everything is about you

Leo

Right, sorry

Anyway, fine

Yes, i know her

No, i won't tell you who she is

Piper

Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt

Not hurt at all at the fact that leo and i are the only ones not involved on this information ig

Frank

And frank

Hazel

And me

Reyna

Me too

Frank

Ok hang on just a recap

Percy, Annabeth, y/n, Will and Nico know

Me, Reyna, Hazel, Piper, Leo don't?

Pretty much, yeah

That's pretty evened out i wouldn't be mad by those statistics

Jason

We just got this group chat and the first thing we do is hyperfixate on my love life?

Pretty intriguing if you ask me 🧐

Piper

(2)

Leo

(3)

Frank

(4)

Hazel

No idea what's going on but i guess I'll say (5)?

YES OMGS HAZEL YOU'RE LEARNING

I'm so proud

*wipes away fake tears except they're real because i can cry on queue*

Will

Wow, not so subtle there

I'm talented an i know it william 😌

Jason

*Message unsent*

Piper

HOLY SHII WHAT WAS THAT??

JASON WAT U SENT?

Leo

What the heck is going on?

Jason

Nothing D:

Piper

I think jason may have sent something meant for his gf but he removed it before i even saw it

Booooo

Resend!! D:

Jason

Y/n what are you even complaining about anyway :((

You already know

I know it's just fun to antagonize you

Hehe

Jason

You're mean

Frank

👀

*Insert anime butterfly meme caption: is this playful banter?*

Yes children

Give in to the meme culture

Jason

Should i be concerned about this

Please this is basic level meme culture

Y'all are yet to dive in to the random screenshots and emoji memes and revisiting 90s-00s cartoons

These are the classic popular ones

Jason

How the heck do you know so much about memes?

Percy

Counterargument

How the heck do you NOT know so much about memes?

Also quick survey but how do you guys pronounce memes

Hazel

Uhh, mee-mees?

Nico

^^ what she said

Omg i am trying so hard not laugh at Nico's response right now

Please stop me

Nico

Uhh what?

Will

It kinda sounds like you said "that's what she said" without the "that's"

Nico

And that's funny because

Annabeth

It's like a verbal meme for when someone says an accidental innuendo

See even annabeth is hooked on the meme culture

Annabeth

Percy's my boyfriend and you're his sister, plus your my friend

How can i not know this

Touché

Anyway, we have strayed from the topic at hand

Jason's unsent message

Jason

Y/N!!

Leo

Why are you being so elusive about your girlfriend jase?

Jason

Please don't call me Jase

My girlfriend calls me that

Piper

👀

Leo

👀

Frank

👀

Nico

👀

See, emoji memes

Hazel

Okay but don't you want everyone else to know how great she is and how much you love her?

Jason

I do but

I don't know, it feels kinda early

You're honor, let the record show that this boy has been dating his girlfriend for 5 months now

Jason

You're so mean to me :(

And yet you love me

Piper

HLOY--

HWAT????????

Leo

DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME OR???

Jason

Nice going y/n ):

What, can't two friends love each other platonically?

Will

Smooth

Leo

EXCUSE ME

BUT

Piper

I'm sorry BACKTRACJ PLEASE

Leo

ARE JASON AND Y/N DATING?????

Percy

👀

Annabeth

👀

Reyna

The timeline makes sense

Will

👀

Nico

👀

Why does everything about love have to be romantic

Why can't i just love my friends without being judged D:

Frank

That was a little random tho

Have i really never said before how much i love you guys

I mean really

Is it really THAT random?

Piper

She has a point

She's very affectionate

Thank you piper for validating my affection

But even if i hypothetically were dating jason would it really be so bad

Frank

Sooo you're like what, extra affectionate to jason

I'm just naturally affectionate, Frank D:

Piper

Gurl are you and jason dating or what

What do you think?

Leo

I think that I'm getting mixed signals here

Haha that's what Jason told me before we started dating

Piper

HOLY SHIT

Leo

AND THERE IT IS

Jason

Are u guys happy now

Honestly i would've expected you to be happier, Jase

Or can i not call you Jase cos that's reserved for your girlfriend 👀

Jason

You ARE my girlfriend D:

And i am happy :>

See, i taught him how to use that smiley

The :) smiley is too passive aggressive

Percy

See @Annabeth i told you that's the passive aggressive smiley

I don't make the rules

Annabeth

Okay fine, seaweed brain, i trust u

Aww look at that, they're being adorable

Jason

As adorable as us?

No we just did a big reveal no one can top that adorableness today 😌

Nico

Ok stop it you all are being too cutesy

Will

Oh please you're one to talk

Leo

In all seriousness tho, I'm really happy for you guys

And I'm just happy y/n and i are friends again

What do you mean again

This is the first time we've been just friends

Leo

So we weren't ever friends before?

No, we started dating-ish when you arrived so that's not "just friends"

Then we broke up and we weren't talking

And now we really are just friends

Leo

Wow, you make friendship sound complicated

Either way im just happy that we're okay

Piper

Yeah, I'm glad Jason is with you

You can finally knock some rebelliousness into him

Believe me, I'm trying

Reyna

Is he finally done being everyone's golden boy

Frank

Is he finally done trying to please everyone

Well he hasn't stopped pleasing me that's for sure 😏👀

Will

OH MY GODS HAHAHAHAHHDHSHSSH

Jason

I am both pleased and uncomfortable at where this conversation is going

•••

Tagging (send an ask if u wanna be added!!!): @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @ewitsren @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend-deact

[twst-discourse-bot]

Good afternoon,

I seem to have possibly fallen victim to Ray/Morgan/Yuuna with these latest requests I’ve received while I was out of town. By how it looks, it may be her but I’m not entirely sure, it could be a copycat who wishes to tether themselves to her problematic ways and continue her message while she scurried off with her tail tucked between her legs.

Firstly, I’m not racist, never in my life have I ever been nor will I ever stoop so unbelievably low. I do have POC family who I hold very dear to me so seeing this thrown at me hurts deeply, troll or not. I only payment lock OC based stories because they are listed as “commissions”. With providing me payment, the requester will be temporarily handing me the rights to their OC and their OCs likeness, as I do not own their OC, nor would I ever attempt to do so, this is method is best.

If this is from Ray, I do not know, but after reading your evidence file here on Tumblr I would not entirely chuck that idea out the metaphorical window.

I also unfortunately received this message here…

As many of my readers are very well aware, I primarily focus on Y/N reader inserts in the gender neutral form, I do receive requests for male and female y/n inserts but not as frequently as gn. Last I checked, Yuu, or rather, us, is who we make of them, they are us as we are them, so naturally we think what we want. That’s the magic of the game, it’s our story regardless of gender and pronoun identity, should such really matter? We can always write ourselves in however we so please so this particular complaint holds no ground.

I truly hope this pest of a person ceases this madness and moves on, she is likely young and in need of guidance but that does not excuse her actions as she has harmed many. I hope she learns her lesson.

Please keep safe, well, and in good health! I thank you for bringing this case to our attention, it means a lot to see people looking out for the fandoms we love.

- Windblume

Windblume, I am absolutely fucking livid for you right now. I'm so sorry this is happening to you again.

Whoever this person is, Ray or not, they're a total moron. I understand not wanting to answer their bullshit, but my anger issues could never. Listen to me carefully: you are not in the wrong here.

I don't even know where to start with everything in these screenshots it's just so bizarre I'm shaking. First of all, imagine thinking you're being oppressed because another person's fanfiction isn't catered to you or other women. As if women and AFABs don't have enough real problems right now, THIS is what they think sexism is?

Did they crawl out of a worm hole leading to another dimension or something? The TWST MC has always been gender neutral and intended as a self-insert for the player, no matter the gender or race. This isn't an argument, they're a blank slate. Just because you think the MC is a girl doesn't make it true or a valid point to force on other people. Gross.

Also, do they think that people are REQUIRED to gift them writings about their OCs? Do they think that the only OCs in the fandom are black or characters of color? I'm so stunned, there's zero logic there. And another thing, minors in fandom are not "underprivileged" because grown adults and older fans don't want to coddle them and give them everything they demand.

You are absolutely within your rights to only take OC requests as commissions. An author doesn't owe you jack shit just because you want it. Write your own damn story if you want it so bad. Do the hard work like everyone else, you repugnant little troll.

Wind, if you do plan on answering them, don't be nice. Don't even be respectful. The lost the right to your basic respect when they disrespected you. Tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. Call them every nasty name under the sun. They don't deserve your patience or understanding.

On a related note, I believe this is the perfect time to use all of those other screenshots you sent to me a while back, I think they need to be seen:

Absolutely disgusting. Thank you for coming to me with all of these.

Stay strong, Windblume. I'm sorry these ugly souls keep coming after you like this.

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

~

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

[quiver-full-of-sims]

Fundie Simblr Ask Game!

Reblog is you want numbers in your ask box!

Favorite character?

Favorite couple?

Least favorite character?

Least favorite couple?

Who's your prettiest sim?

What's an odd rule [insert fundie family] has?

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Is [insert fundie family] Quiverfull?

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How did [insert fundie sim/family] react to [insert rebellious action/family member]?

How judgy is [insert fundie sim/family]? Will they outright criticize and get mad at less fundie family members, or do they leave them be?

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Walk me through the love story of [insert fundie couple]. When and how did they meet? What were their courtship, engagement, and wedding like? How are they doing now? (Bonus points if all or some of it is from the couple's perspective!)

[Insert fundie sim] is being interviewed for Godly Man Magazine/Precious Helpmeet Magazine. Write their answer to one or more questions! [The questions can be provided by the Asker- leave blank if you want the Simblr to make up the question(s)!]

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Tell me more about [insert character/family/fundie organization]. Where are they now/what do they do/et cetera?

How many descendants would your first-gen couple have if this were real life?

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How do you decide on names? Do your sims have naming themes? Do you use websites, books, or your own imagination?

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Any fundie-appropriate CC creators you recommend?

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Fundie simblr recommendations?

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[Ask whatever you want here!]

[riboku]

How do you feel about Voltron's new season?

christ why would you ask this lmao it’s not like i post my opinions on here on a regular basis??? anyway this gives me a good opportunity to rant tho so

1. HAHA okay let’s just get the big fucking issue out right here but i was absolutely mad with how they marketed this season based on lgbt rep! this has been said before (and probably better lmao) by other people, but what they did was in extremely poor taste and is pretty low tbh. they hyped up and marketed that voltron would have lgbt rep in this season, and hyped up adam as a character, then were so incredibly vague about it and didn’t confirm anything on screen and killed adam off lmao.

anywAY this ended up fucking long and i threw in some positives i enjoyed from the season at the end of this post, but this is 95% a big fucking long rant about the issues i have with this season so it’s going under a read more!!

and like, before i get into this more i’ve also seen people mad about people getting mad which is ??? but the most common things i’m seeing people saying are ‘stop being mad your ship didn’t happen!!!,’ ‘it doesn’t matter what happened shiro is still gay so there is still rep,’ ‘this is NOT queerbaiting guys! -insert screenshot of dictionary definition-,’ and 'they’re at WAR guys people die during a war’

okay. one lmao how tf did this get to a point where people think it is a ship issue because it’s not. idgaf about shipping or who ends up with who, i will likely be indifferent regardless! do not give a shit! not about shipping! nobody is talking about shipping??? also this could have LITERALLY been avoided mostly by the insertion of a few words. they could have gone with something as simple as 'if you do this, the wedding’s off. i won’t be here when you get back’ bam. insta confirmation! no vagueness there! and then like, not unecessarily kill a gay character off for no reason lol. what happened here is an issue with largely how this was marketed vs how they delivered. they marketed the fact they’d have lgbt rep pretty extensively. and adam! they talked about how we were going to meet adam this season. hyped him and him and shiro’s former relationship up in their promo materials and posters. like, this doesn’t happen on its own lmao. this was a conscious marketing decision that they went with beforehand knowing that they were not going to confirm anything on screen and knowing that they were going to kill adam off. and like, if you need an analogy to get this??? let’s say some fast food place does a whole campaign on how their burgers are made of REAL beef. maybe they don’t specifically say 100% beef, maybe they do, w/e, but they hype the fact that their burgers are real beef and not fake stuff like crazy and their consumers hop on that. then you get there and it’s like. 35% beef. people are mad! is it still made of beef? well, yeah. but they have misrepresented themselves a bit here and probably should have never said anything in the first place. bad business move. and as far as hyping up adam??? that’s like coming up with a new product line and deciding to axe it. BUT ADVERTISING IT ANYWAY. lol. and then people are upset with the company when they go to buy it. literally does not make sense. like, regardless of what you expected to go down with these characters or how you feel about them or literally anything, this was a conscious decision on their part and they should have not marketed it like this.

as far as shiro still being confirmed gay, yes that is true and great! but it still wasn’t confirmed on screen and not the issue at hand here! the issue is still how they marketed lgbt rep for this season without really delivering and killed off a gay character without reason. if your issue is the use of the word queerbaiting then lmao okay, whatever, maybe it’s not the most 100% accurate use of the word idc but that is a semantics issue and is deflecting the issue at hand here. like if you wanted to sum up the issue with all this in one fucking word that would be pretty accurate and the closest thing to describe what happened! like come on guys i work in advertising but this??? is not that hard of a concept to understand. they utilized lgbt rep in their marketing for this season. if you’re marketing something, that content has to be targeted towards a certain audience. if you are marketing lgbt rep, your target audience is likely going to be - shocker - the lgbt community lmao. AND FINALLY if you’re going with the 'people die in war’ thing like. okay. yup. that happens. from a marketing perspective though, it’s still dumb to advertise a character and then kill them off. like, if you’re using a cHARACTER in your ads you uh. generally expect people to feel something for that character lmao otherwise there is no point, and seeing as how many fanfics and fanart and shit popped up of adam before the season even aired??? def a lot of attachment there. so literally if they had done this with any other character it would have been stupid? but doing this to a gay character is a whole other mess of worms and is in very poor taste! fucking stop killing off gay characters for no good reason, it’s a gross trope with a long history behind it! also unless something is plot related and done well, there is literally no point for killing off your characters lmao. doesn’t matter if it’s war, it’s just shock value at that point. that scene was a couple of seconds at most, and literally nothing about the season would have changed without it. moot point. this is not a case of character death that has moved the plot significantly or significantly affected the story or the character.

like, as a queer person i’m mad and very disappointed. do i still like the show and its characters? yeah. did i enjoy the season? yeah. will i still watch it? yeah. but this whole thing was still a fucking mess lol. that being said, some positives:

2. lmao ok that gameshow episode gave me serious ergo proxy flashbacks to when they did the whole 'i’m suddenly and inexplicably on a magical gameshow hosted by a weird entity with my life on the line??’ deal

3. hunk development???? good and it’s about time, star of the season tbh. i really hope they continue with the diplomat angle for him!

4. pleasantly surprised by ezor and zethrid, now let’s hope they’re not fucking dead lmao

5. atlas was uh. weird? weird.

6. granted i stayed up all night to watch this so my perception by the point i got there was uhhhh but the finale was odd and kinda fell flat, especially in comparison to how much of an impact last season’s had. that being said, the season overall was pretty enjoyable?

7. sorry but during the whole time they were drifting through space in their lions i just kept thinking 'where is kaltenecker tho’ and then at first i thought acxa had went with them so then i was wondering where tf she was too and my sleep deprived brain’s beautiful answer to that question was 'wait what if acxa is with kaltenecker???’ yeah.

8. matt’s new design looks gr8 but it looked pretty familiar and again, sleep deprived brain was like 'oh my god he looks like discount space judeau’ so hope you know that

9. V E R O N I C A also i really super enjoyed the earth team!!! like idk how i feel about james yet because they went pretty hard on painting him as a jackass as a child lmao so i’m positive but also on the fence about him, but i adored the others and i hope we see more of all of them!! ALSO ROMELLE loved her to death too. and the cosmic wolf. yes.

10. okay so as soon as shiro got his new arm my first thought was 'i bet him and sendak are going to have a floaty arm showdown’ and i was very glad to be right

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Not So Secret Service”

Written by: Jake Goldman

Written & Storyboarded by: Kyle Neswald, Benjamin P. Carow

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Not so great service, more like.

According to Cartoon Network US's website, this is the first episode of Season 3. However, it aired in other countries as a Season 2 episode. The confusion only starts here, because there's also Aliver and Never Been Blissed, both of which aired as Season 2 episodes over here and will be Season 3 episodes everywhere else. I am going with the US order, because the show is made in the US, I'm in the US, and I already reviewed both Aliver and Never Been Blissed.

And now, the delayed first review of a Season 3 episode, and it already starts off with some excitement, as the Powerpuff Girls are beating each other up!

In a video game. The Powerpuff Girls are playing what is essentially a robot version of Mortal Kombat. The robots, under the command of a surprisingly bloodthristy Blossom and a not-so-surprisingly bloodthirsty Buttercup, continue to do Fatality moves on each other, the robots apparently reforming themselves after every one.

Buttercup: Prepare for the battle axe! (red one cuts the blue one open)

Blossom: Here comes the organ shredder! (blue one twin-saws the other one in half)

Bubbles: Send them home...in pieces! (red one turns into a bomb and blows up the whole screen)

The joke is that the Powerpuff Girls aren't normally like this.

The Professor decides to be the responsible adult, and tells the girls to stop playing the game because it's too violent for them. He then leaves, deciding that doing anything to prevent these kids from being desensitized, like looking at that little letter on the box that tells you not to give this to your kids, is just too much for him. Blossom is confused by this, but not in a way I would think.

Blossom: Why does the Professor not want us to play it? It's not like it's going to make us violent in real life!

Perish the thought: the video game might inspire the Powerpuff Girls to actually be violent in this reboot! I take that back, I hope they continue playing! As soon as the hotline rings, they learn that Discount Jojo is in the Mayor's office. Apparently all hyped up on those non-age-appropriate robot fighting games, they decide to start the carnage!

They break into the City Hall, and decide to punch first and ask questions later in a psychadelic slideshow beatdown. Before Buttercup can drop the Mayor's desk on him, the Mayor skateboards into the scene, totally not to save a few dollars on walk cycles, to tell Buttercup he called for the Powerpuff Girls to help Jojo.

Buttercup: Help him out of his misery? Okay!

Okay, that's a line from Samurai Jack, but what a missed opportunity. Instead, Buttercup gets to lament that she rarely gets to hit anyone with a desk. It turns out even the characters are sick and tired of the lack of actual fighting in the reboot.

The Mayor explains that, despite being a supervillain, he's still technically a citizen of Townsville, and is therefore eligible for the Townsville's People's Protection Program, or "T Triple-P" for short. Because he's cool with the cool kids, you see?

With an old-timey film, the Mayor explains how it works: if someone is in trouble, a superhero will come to protect him or her. Apparently, superheroes always existed in Townsville, because this is all in Townsville's Constitution, along with a law that states that only real cowboys can dress in a cowboy outfit. My first guess was those Discount Jojo Cowboy jokes from Deb O'Nair was so bad, they needed a constitutional amendment to prevent them from happening again...

...but it's just so Bubbles can decide that now is the time to put on a cowgirl outfit and act like a cowgirl for a decent chunk of the episode, complaining that everything she wants to do is illegal. It's a running gag that is completely forgotten halfway through the episode. It should have been forgotten when it came up, really.

What did Discount Jojo do to need this help?

We go to a flashback, where Discount Jojo has created the ultimate super-weapon: a robot made out of a cardboard box and two giant machine guns that fire lasers. See, that's the difference between TV-Y7-FV and TV-14; this robot can have big machine guns, but as long as it fires lasers instead of bullets, it's A-OK!

The robot learns who is Jojo's worst enemy, and it happens. The screen even shows a reference to the original Powerpuff Girls, the reboot assuming that anyone familiar with that show is still watching it. I wouldn't give that a high probability. The show decides that he needs some motivation to destroy the Powerpuff Girls, even though we didn't need one before. With this Box-Droid, he will win an Evil Award for Best Mad Scientist.

Without it, he will lose to a man we have never heard or even seen before this episode, will not show up after this scene, and we’ll probably never see again. I would tell you his name, but there's no point. He tries to throw something at this picture, and it bounces right back in his face, causing him to call himself his own worst enemy. The robot took it literally, and that's how this situation happened.

The Powerpuff Girls are, of course, not big fans of this. They answer every excuse for them to not take care of Discount Jojo.

They bring up that Discount Jojo admitted that he wanted to murder his would-be saviors, but the Mayor simply doesn't care.

The Powerpuff Girls can't stop the robot, because the robot is apparently a master of disguise, leading to another running gag where the robot dresses up like an ordinary person, rather poorly, and asks around where Discount Jojo is. It's an attempt, to say the least.

How are they going to get Jojo past the Professor? For some reason, they decided to consider that an issue. Well, it gets solved in a very expected way for our good old Sitcom Dad...

They dress him up as a cousin named Johann. The Professor buys it, because the plot wouldn't work otherwise. It's kind of a shame, really; it would have been somewhat interesting to see the Professor live with his former lab assistant, but...

(ding!)

Professor: Ooh, Peach Cobbler!

Said peach cobbler ends up taking him out of the entire episode. I guess they couldn't find anything else for the silly dad character to do. He doesn't even come back to resolve that all important "violent video games" plot; it just barely comes up again right at the end of the episode.

This appears to be the setup of a good episode, and in the original, it was. There was an episode called Child Fearing, where Mojo Jojo ends up being the Powerpuff Girls' babysitter.

This reboot takes it in a different direction, because Discount J, er, Johann is the one that going to be annoying to the girls. Johann decides to take every advantage he can. Stealing a meatloaf patty from Buttercup, and immediately spitting it out because he only wanted the flavor. I swear they stole that joke from somewhere.

He then decides he's tired, and decides to steal the Powerpuff Girls' bed...and Octi, too! He also screams in the middle of his sleep. This seems like something they just added to make him the most annoying person ever, but I could imagine he's dreaming about the times the Powerpuff Girls beat him up to a pulp. If only that was even implied.

The next morning, the Powerpuff Girls are exhausted. Johann makes them some of his famous pancakes! Buttercup wonders if they're poisoned, but she decides to try it anyway. In a surprising twist...

...it was so good, we needed stock footage to show how amazing it was. He also fixes up Octi and cleans the curtains he dirtied up from before, winning Bubbles and Blossom's respect. See kids, let that villain who wants to kil, er, destroy you in your house; sure, he'll dirty up the place, be an awful snorer, and will steal your meatloaf and/or toys, but he'll make good pancakes! What a great lesson.

After Johann shows his positive side, we immediately get a parody of sitcom openings. If it was done in a more superhero way, I can see how it could be clever, but it's just...it's the Powerpuff Girls and Discount Jojo, and there's a bear in one shot. Okay, there is one particular thing that reminds me of Discount Jojo's character: Johann puts on a princess costume! At least it’s not the only joke this time, but still, that’s a bad reminder of how his character used to be in this reboot.

It even ends with an exterior shot of the Powerpuff home with sitcom music, which is how they sometimes open real episodes of the reboot. This could have been the start of a huge parody of sitcoms if this was done near the beginning of the episode. Alas, they wasted all of that time on the useless Bubbles jokes.

Johann immediately decides to leave the room and run away from the house and protection program. The very thought of becoming friends of his worst enemies is sickening to him. Compared to Princess's near face-turn, turning into a friend because he makes good waffles would be a major step down.

He then encounters the robot, who, due to a visit to a library in his stints of trying to blend in with society, found out that "my own worst enemy" is just a figure of speech. After an evil genius-robot hug, Discount Jojo decides to finally destroy those Powerpuff Girls with this strong robot made of cardboard. Surprisingly, the Powerpuff Girls don't do their usual plan of just standing there waiting to get lasered, because there's less than a minute left!

The Powerpuff Girls immediately eye-laser it. In fact, this is one of the same moves done in the video game, in the only real book end that plot had. An aesop about violent video games would seem hypocritical in a show where superheroic girls beat the stuffing out of people; it's kind of funny how violent video games actually helped out in the end!

In response to this, Discount Jojo has two different expressions at the same time. Clearly, an artistic way to show the duality of Discount Jojo’s feelings of the situation...and the fact that the people who animate the show have stopped caring.

Amazingly enough, they then beat up Discount Jojo in another psychedelic slideshow beatdown. They even drop an entire desk on him, much to Buttercup's delight. That is one book end I do not mind. Too bad I had a lot to "mind" about this episode.

Does the title fit?

This is more Witness Protection Program than Secret Service. Also, it apparently is a secret, since they have to keep the Professor from knowing its Discount Jojo. Maybe it's "not-so" because it only seems to be an issue for about 25 seconds of the episode.

How does it stack up?

I could see why Cartoon Network US sat on this one. This episode can't decide what it wants to be. An anti-video game episode, a "silly monkey" episode, a "Jojo being terrible" episode, a "Jojo being good" episode, a sitcom parody, an action-packed episode, and, at best, any of those ideas are excuted poorly, and at worst, not at all. While this isn't the worst Discount Jojo episode, I just couldn't get into this.

Next, the Fashionistas are back!

← Aliver ☆ Worship →

[alightwhendarknessfell]

ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION

“Unless it’s a verified profile with a blue check mark, myself and the other dudes in my band are not talking to anyone. We don’t give our phone numbers out, and we don’t talk to fans secretly or anonymously. That’s the whole reason we have verified profiles so people can’t impersonate us. Anyone claiming to be us, and it’s from a phone, or a profile that’s not with a blue verification badge, IT IS NOT REAL!! Stop being so naive and gullible believing every damn thing. If someone says they know us and talk to us on the phone it’s 100% not true. If it comes from a verified source meaning a verified profile then and only then is it legit.  Thanks…PS, use some common sense.”

Oh Jake. So close. That was almost a professional, yet firm message to fans. Until you insulted them and scolded them. Do you know the age demographic for your band at all? Your band’s age demographic is roughly 13 to early 20’s. According to Ofcom, a fifth of children aged 12-15 will believe things they find online with unquestioning faith. They’re often unable to tell what is a legit piece of research or factual information and what’s a scam, lie or something created for money or personal gains when compared with reliable sources. This means a lot of teens are quite naive when it comes to the online world and when it comes to taking things at face value. Ofcom made a report in 2015 called ’ Children and parents: Media and Attitudes’ and in it, reported that children between 8-15 believe information on social media websites like Twitter, Facebook and YouTube is ‘all true’. Ofcom’s findings challenge widespread assumptions that the generations who have grown up with the internet – so-called ‘digital natives’ – are automatically savvier about the online world.

The prefrontal cortex is associated with judgment, decision making, and mental flexibility—or with the ability to change plans when faced with an obstacle is undergoing a lot of changes in a teenager, it’s developing as they grow and as such, the teenage brain is much more vulnerable and it means they can be more naive and easily taken advantage of.

There is direct evidence to show that teenagers can be naive when it comes to things online. You don’t need to be a scientist to know this or have a general understanding that teenagers are quite gullible. It’s ‘common sense’. The thing Jake is telling teenagers to have when it comes to online gossip coming from non verified sources. So is it any wonder when teenagers take gossip at face value? Add in that many teens like drama and gossip.

Secondly, Inna threatening lawyers. The First Amendment allows for a lot of free speech, and secondly, unless Inna can prove that the gossip online has directly affected her career in a negative way and it’s directly hindered her on a personal level, she’s got no case to sue a bunch of young people online gossiping. The law only protects your reputation. It does not protect you from personal insults or from hurt feelings. So, if a person publicly calls you an asshole or immature, then you will probably have to suck it up and get over it.But if someone says something like the below then there’s potential for a lawsuit:

1: Accuses you of a crime.

2: Accuses you of having a serious contagious disease like HIV or AIDS.

3: Makes negative comments about your business which impact said business.

4: Accuses you of cheating or adultery.

Then potentially you could sue them over it. But lets face it, what lawyer is going to take that case? 'Oh um could you sue these young kids online who are gossiping about me please?’ She’d probably end up having to pay the legal fees for both parties and if she’s looking for financial compensation, what’s she going to get out of a bunch of young people? Candy? Makeup? $20? Also know that these types of comments/remarks must be made to someone else (and not just to the person that the statement is about). Otherwise, there is no lawsuit.

Lawsuits are expensive,especially defamation lawsuits. They must be commenced in supreme court and not in a small claims court. So it’s not cheap to take someone to court over mean things they say online. And ultimately, Inna would put herself into substantial debt, just to sue some people online and get nothing out of it.

Similarly, you can’t sue someone if they say your music is bad, your dress sense is bad, they don’t like your makeup, they think you’re ugly, etc. Most opinions don’t count as defamation because they can’t be proved to be objectively false. Inna can’t, for example say 'Someone said my music sucks, I want to sue them’ because a court can’t go 'Well…we think it’s great so yeah, sure.’ because it’s subjective. The whole point of defamation law is to take care of injuries to reputation. If you want to sue for defamation you need to prove that what was said/written has damaged your reputation or career or personal relationships with family/friends etc. Someone saying 'I think she smells’ or whatever is not defamation. But someone saying 'Inna did [insert crime here]’ would be classed as defamation.

So simply cutting and pasting the definition of defamation isn’t going to cut it. People are entitled to talk and gossip as they see fit so long as it’s not false shit. Also the law treats private citizens and public figures differently. The standard for libel against a public figure is higher. You have to prove not only that the information is false but that the tabloid intended “actual malice” and that is very hard to prove. Specifically, for the public figure you have to demonstrate malice, whereas the falseness of the statement is what matters for the little people. Inna and Jake are public figures, so the law changes when it comes to defamation.

But malice doesn’t mean “because you disliked the person” in a legal context, but rather “did you know it was false, or were you at least reckless with regards to determining whether it was false?”

In regards to this whole 'Stop bullying us thing’. I’m assuming Jake and Inna read this blog. You’re a popular Tumblr, Ren, and I’ve no doubt that some people have screen capped a few anonymous posts and sent them to Inna and Jake.

Jake, Inna, you need to grow thicker skin. That’s the whole part and partial. You need thicker skin. You are both public figures, you’re in the public eye to a point, you’re in careers where you are letting people see you, you post a lot on social media, you are quite open about certain aspects of your personal lives. As such, you need to be prepared for people to comment, criticise and generally be douche bags.

Thin-skinned people often care more about avoiding disapproval than with getting approval. The touchiness, irritability, and defensiveness of people who are thin-skinned often result in silent disapproval by others. Sometimes the disapproval is not silent. Thin-skinned people can become very upset and preoccupied with internal focusing on slights from others. This interferes with their ability to experience the approval and support of significant others. When the Dalai Lama was asked “After the massive destruction the Chinese communist government has wreaked on your country and people, why aren’t you angry?” He replied, “If I got angry, then I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night or eat my meals peacefully. I’d get ulcers, and my health would deteriorate. My anger couldn’t change the past or improve the future, so what use would it be?” (T. Chödrön, 2001).

Have a better sense of who you are and not how you think others think you are. Learn to be more comfortable with yourself and you will slowly be more desensitized by other’s judgments. “Thick skin” = Unapologetic. You may say things like 'I’m who I am, sorry haters’ but you obviously aren’t too comfortable, because of this insane need to react to 'haters’. They are young kids, young adults. They probably have nothing better to do than discuss gossip about band members. They probably enjoy it. At the end of the day, as adults beyond 20, you should be the mature ones and learn to let it go over your heads and stop reacting to it. You cause yourselves more stress when you start yelling and being passive aggressive to a bunch of kids online. If you put yourself out there and aren’t a pissy hard-headed little shit, you’ll attract people like yourself and can enjoy that. If you look you can find people for whoever you are, so why not be what feels best (assuming what feels best isn’t being off putting)? Derive your sense of self worth from how well you’re living your life for you, not from what others say. Realize you have control over yourself and your own thoughts and feelings. Upon realizing these things, you have much better control on how they affect you emotionally. You can then make the choice to subject to those emotions or let them go.

I have a personal rule when it comes to people making fun of me, insulting me and so on online: If I’m not mad enough to physically fight someone, I’m not mad at all.

You choose to let things said online bother you, you choose to go on these huge blocking sprees and witch hunts. You essentially hurt yourselves by doing so. Stop getting people to send in screenshots, stop going on witch hunts for young adolescents and grow thicker skin, and act more professional. You can be intimate with fans in the sense of sharing photos and vlogs, but you can also show them where the limit is, without lowering yourself to a gossipers level and insulting fans. BVB, with the exception of Jinxx and Cc, are all guilty of encouraging drama, by being secretive and letting little bits of info slip to fans. This whole business with Ashley supposedly leaving the band, that fact that Jake has said Ashley doesn’t do bass and that he himself tracks the bass, things like that cause drama. If you don’t want drama, don’t toss titbits of gossip to fans like you toss scraps to starving dogs.

You can either be 'best friends’ with your fans, or treat them as fans and keep them at a distance. If you want to be buddy buddy with your fans, then keep going as you are, and you’ll get a buddy buddy situation where half of them love you, half of them gossip about you, like you get in all friend situations. Or you can keep them as fans and control the info they get by keeping your mouth shut in public circles where fans can readily get the info (This is honestly not hard, lots of bands do this.). In which case. BVB and Jake and Inna need to stop using fans like minions and using them for personal gain and witch hunts. Because when you start giving fans liberties, they start to take advantage and start to treat you like they might treat their own friends. In which case the thin line between fan and 'idol’ is gone and you have the situation BVB and Jake and Inna have on their hands right now. Which is unruly fans who gossip and suck up to them, like you get in all clique friend circles.

Also, a lot of this boils down to a loss of respect from both parties. BVB, Jake and Inna all have an issue in that they have lost respect for fans and in turn, fans have lost respect for them. When you insult, scold and belittle your fans, they are going to be offended. When you do what Andy did and dismiss your fans and insult them, they’re going to be hurt and angry. When you constantly do what Jake and Inna do with fans, they’re going to be offended and treat you like a joke.

Mutual respect on both sides needs to be key in fan and band interaction, and BVB and Jake and Inna just do not have that anymore. They’ve lost the respect of their fans and they have lost respect for their fans.

[srlkiller]

this is part of a comment i left on this girls youtube vid/channel who i been watching for yeaaars n i jus thought i would copy n paste part of it here bc it got mad likes n ppl were saying they found it rlly nice n rlly helpful goin into the new year n stuff.. if u can relate to anything im sayin in here then i guess it will make sense 2 u too :)) i wish i could hav jus screenshotted the whole shit n inserted a photo so it looked better but it was so lengthy n also included sum names so i had to cut it lmao. anyways.....

“you should honestly be extremely proud of yourself for working hard and getting this place ALL. ON. UR. OWN. i think that’s soo amazing and also a huge goal i have for myself too, congratulations on that!! small steps and small little goals r soo important:)) who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks bc tbh are they the ones who are gonna b there 4 u? no that will be u. so do the best for u baby. unfortunately, we are very self destructive by nature so it’s hard 4 us but we have to try channel our tendencies into other areas ect. figuring out how ur bpd (or whatever u as a person have) effects u n discovering ur likes/dislikes/personal interests ect is the best shit i everrrr did for myself. spend a lot of time w urself n get to know the true core of who u actually are b4 u get to kno anyone else in life. know what triggers u, what makes u feel like drinking/doing drugs ect. i have an awful relationship w both my parents, i haven’t had a serious relationship in like 3 years, i stopped going out clubbing/drinking a long time ago n lost all my friends but tbh that was the best thing i did bc they turned out not to be real friends anyway.. i have completely evolved into a whole new person n grown sm n im so proud of myself now. still have a long ass way to go ofc but wow the greatest feeling in the world is honestly jus knowing you did shit for yourself BY URSELF and feeling PROUD TO HAVE DONE IT. i know you can do that ****!!!! ppl will come n go out of ur life.. some a lot quicker than others.. but the one constant u can count on having always n 4eva is urself.”

[wumbleberry-fc]

Hm... 1-96 😇

You are an angel and please come back whenever I post one of these ask lists! Thank you!!!

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

I am never over on that side of my room, so whatever it is right now is how it stays for months...

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

I do not think so.

(3) Can You Whistle?

Somewhat okay. I can make the sound, yes.

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

An otamatone cover of Never Gonna Give You Up!

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Onyx

(6) Relationship Status.

If we are talking about dating/marital relationship status, as this question usually refers to, then I am not romantically involved with any individual or group of persons, but I am not actively seek such a relationship at the moment either.

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

79 degrees Fahrenheit (26 degrees Celsius)

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Cranky, no. I was too tired to be cranky coming off of 4 hours of sleep.

(9) How Many Followers?

177 (already?? jeez)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Gemini

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

All of them. (Blue most often)

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

No

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

If I have music playing, which I try to do as that’s how I measure time in the shower and make it fun

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I wish I could get myself to read

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

Uhhhh, I picked up a hymnal and there weren’t even 14 lines on the page.....

Oh my god there are no novels in any of the common areas of the house so I went to my room to grab one of the library books I checked out recently, and page 64 was the last page of the chapter and there were only 7 lines on it what the hell???!!?!?!?

Okay, third time is the chram. Page 64, line 14 reads as thus: “in common: We’re both driven, both straight-A students,”

(16) Favourite Anime?

I have never watched any, sorry.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Technically my Dad, but he was asleep, as it was like 2:30 am in a hotel room.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Not actively

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

I took some leftover rice-a-roni, leftover taco meat (beef), and 2 slices of cheese and combined them to make a slop. (it was so much food and there’s still so many more leftovers left and I hate it)

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

No.

(21) Favourite Animal?

I like my stuffed animals

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

It’s some of the tv that I still personally will turn the tv on to watch myself, yes.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Fuck if I know?! (either between 10-11 or after 1, there is no in-between).

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I might??? I don’t remember if I wiped it off after closing night..... rip

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I can’t swim... (ocean though because I can jump with waves)

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Okay, this is so rude I can’t beli-

[insert blog here]

I’m not going to answer this because I don’t truly know, honest.

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled, even though I know it’s environmentally wrong.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

My best friend

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

What’s studying?? But no, I literally never study. The few times I actually did homework though, I had to listen to music to drown out the sound of whatever was playing on the television.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

I’ll pass. Both terrify me

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

White. I don’t do anything.

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Xbox

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Both, but like, I will enter the water at least.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

What do I believe? Nobody knows, not even me. But I don’t think magic is real

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Green, but it’s covered up by a red sweatshirt

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

No

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

It gone.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

A few things. A pillow, a folder, the hat on a stuffed animal dog, and if I were in my room, a hot pink tie.

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Procrastinating, wasting my time away, my best friend, tumblr, not doing what I’m supposed to, eating,

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Why?

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

If they are compelling and seem right (not all that often)

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Irrational and unrealistic, maybe

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Yeah! Airplanes are great

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Toy Story 3 did so this year because I realized that I’d have to soon leave all my childhood friends (my stuffed animals) behind

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Neither

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Panic! at the Disco

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Very much so.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yeah. Very heavy.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

No, I love thunder and lightning!

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Yes. Do I do it ever? No.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

I like to be able to hear it clearly, but I have some hearing loss and so I want to preserve my ears. I only truly have it loud when the windows are down while I’m driving or if I really have to drown out the sounds from the tv.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins. I’ve done it once and it was v interesting.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Uh, I don’t have music, or at least music to shuffle.... I opened up Pandora and “Uncharted” by Sara Bareilles came on first.

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Death. (Hopefully Autumn will start relatively on-time next week)

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

My best friend, the playing of games and having a good time, my best friend, root beer, a cheeseburger with an egg on it, my best friend,

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

What?

(58) What Is Your Gender?

I was born male and still, as of right now, currently consider myself of the male gender.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Neither.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No. Fuck off.

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Asexual, and the rest is a giant ?

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Hahahahahahahhahaha I don’t even sleep on a bed buddy I sleep on the dirty clothes on the ground right next to bed

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Never got into it, but Squirtle is cute.

(64) Favourite Social Media?

This blog

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

Never actually seen one, but it’s stupid, instagram is stupid, life is stupid, everything is stupid,

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

No? But I probably will a few weeks into college.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

It doesn’t matter (yes)

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Uh, Suave? Idk, it’s blue and it smells alright.

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Car for free. I’ve done it once because I was too lazy to grab a tent from the gara....... wait... I never did sleep in the car, I pulled an all-nighter that night... But yeah still the car, even though it might not work

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Big Loud and Live 2018, the next Star Wars, Deadpool 2.

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

No

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“Thank you for existing (in my life)!”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Gray

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Yes, and yes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

A mixture of rice-a-roni, taco meat, and cheddar cheese. It was weird and I only did it to get rid of leftovers

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

On my phone phone: Candy Crush Soda Saga, Color Switch, Cribbage Classic, Dream League Soccer, Flow Free, Hill Climb Racing, Logo Quiz Game, Piano Tiles - Don’t Tap The White Tiles, Pool: 8 Ball Billiards Sno..., Spider Solitaire, Stack !, and Words With Friends.

On a tablet that I use like a phone and will do so until I leave it at home as I go to college: Clash Royale, Clash of Clans, Boom Beach, Ballz, Word Cookies, Risk, Neko Atsume, Cribbage Pro, Euchre, Phase 10, Hearts, Spades+, Skip-Bo Free, Hill Climb Racing, Candy Crush Saga, and Candy Crush Soda Saga.

I only really play the 3 Supercell games and occasionally Ballz and Word Cookies, and nothing on my phone.

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

If I knew they needed it, maybe. Depends on my mood on the day it hypothetically happens. I really don’t know.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

What do you think I’m doing right now, buddy?

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Sadly, yeah.

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

No, not really. Like, it’s fun for the first few days, but then the newness wears off and I have to decide to build and maintain a friendship and I have to constantly interact with them and that shit is exhausting I’m sorry. I can barely manage to talk to one person, communicating with two people at once is pushing my limits, and once I was having conversations with four different people at the same time and I nearly went mad

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Buddy, I can barely remember to put on clothes

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

I swore this was the same as question 1 so I checked and promptly had to change that answer to fit the question.

I only trust one person in my life, and I don’t live with them, so no. It’s closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I was woken up at 6:30 on 3-4 hours of sleep to drive to school, only for Dad to offer to do it right as I had finished getting ready. I promptly feel asleep for another 3 hours.

I picked up my sister after school and took her to her drive test, which she failed but can easily fix her mistakes and will do it again tomorrow.

I typed up 10-15 paragraphs for one message to send to my best friend regarding something that was said yesterday, and then it all disappeared without sending, and so I rewrote them all a second time, but with new words since I didn’t memorize what I had said. I spent over 3 and a half hours in total writing out those two messages.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Depends. I always take off my shirt and any top, and depending on how tired I am, I may or may not shed my shorts/pants as well. Sometimes in the winter I do leave my pants on even though it is more uncomfortable. Underwear is a must though, sleeping naked is very uncomfortable, painful even the few times I tried it.

No shirt but yes underwear. Other bottoms optional, socks are whatever. I only wear pajamas on pajama day at school.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I have my make-up kit from the play...

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Day is too bright, Night is when my friends are asleep.

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

For the Wii:

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords, Super Smash Bros. (for the Wii U), Wii Sports Resort, We Ski, Wii Play, Wii Party, Wii Sports, Wii Fit, Ultimate I SPY, Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection, Pajama Sam: Don’t Fear The Dark, Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz, Super Mario Bros., Myth Makers Super Kart GP, M&M;s Kart Racing, Karaoke Revolution Presents: American Idol Encore 2, Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, Guitar Hero World Tour, Guitar Hero 5, Family Feud 2010 Edition, Deca Sports, Deal or No Deal, The Beatles Rockband, Battle of the Bands, Band Hero, Family Party 30 Great Games Outdoor Fun, Big Beach Sports, Bakugan Battle Brawlers, and Puzzle Kingdoms

For the Xbox:

FIFA Soccer ‘13, Madden NFL ‘13, Kinect Sports, Kinect Wipeout, Kinect Just Dance 3, Kinect Adventures

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

Back in 6th grade, I had a plastic key and a plastic squirt phone that when pressed together somehow unlocked the phone and found the case files for the dream, and I had a series of dreams where me, 3 cousins of mine, my table mates in class, and a few friends were all police officers and every night all of us had a big culprit on the loose to catch and we all chased our big catch of the night with our partner, who was also our spouse, as I decided that you couldn’t have a partner in catching crime unless you were married to that person, and each night after catching each pair of spouses would celebrate with exactly one (1) kiss of six (6) seconds in length and then we would eat our favorite doughnut and head out to the local burger joint. This carried on for like 5 months and I was a very weird kid I don’t know how I existed back then or even now...

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Root Beer

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

My best friend’s voice, the opening of a can or bottle of root beer, jazz, the otamatone, music, the ping of getting a message from my best friend, the sound of the washing machine finishing and the sound of the dryer turning on, the sound of a volleyball being dug after a hard spike, the sound of setting a volleyball, the sound of a soccer ball hitting the net, and the sound of closing up my glasses.

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Varies. Jeans, currently (it’s been a hot summer)

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Ugly because I haven’t shaved in over two weeks and I need a haircut.

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

My best friend, playing a game, eating food, listening to my music (both mine and the music on my Pandora station)

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

None

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

You Suck At Cooking

[sincerelysashaa]

6/14/20

LAWD. I somehow managed to already not stay on track with blogging every night. So consider this my entire weekend’s story bunched up in one. Another weekend in the books of single parenting. Another weekend of countless questions from my kids about why daddy isn’t spending weekends with them and why he goes out of town every weekend. I guess tonight’s post will elaborate more that..

Back in February (I think), Chris had another woman in my house. Let me preface this conversation with this- Chris assumed that I was cheating on him. Not sure if it was a guilty conscious or him seeing me finally losing weight and being happy, but he felt the need to pull my call records. Instead of reasonably asking for names and reasons why I was speaking to someone at 1am for literally less than 5 minutes, he came to his own conclusion that if a man answered when he called that number, that I was 100% sleeping with this person. The truth of the short calls were to get shirt sizes ASAP for an order I had to finish that night for a fight coming up at our boxing gym. It just so happened that this guy worked overnight and slept during the days so he called when he was free at work to finish his order, talk about the event and that was all. Anyway, Chris called him and asked if he was involved with me. The guy (being the meatheaded asshole that he is) must of thought it would be funny to tell Chris “I know she’s married and if anyone was pressing up on anyone, it was her coming onto me”. To this day I still don't know if Chris made this up because when I confronted the guy and asked why he would say that to my husband, he said he would never say something like that. Weird..right? So fast-forward to a few weeks after that. I go out of town with my 2 daughters and my son stays home. Kind of a boy’s weekend/girl’s weekend. When I came home, my bedroom was SPOTLESS. I mean SO clean while the rest of my house was messy. Automatically knew someone was in my house but Chris denied it, called me psycho and crazy and said I’m saying that because I’m ‘guilty’ of messing with someone at my gym. Long story short, I found out a girl was here, she text me all of the screenshots showing where Chris said he was divorced, and ready to have something serious and be ‘completely honest’ with someone. DAMN SHAME. We had a lot of talks after that. Silly me, once again forgave him. Now let’s have a moment of honesty.. Chris has broken me emotionally, many times. I cannot lie and say I was the perfect wife after this. I started texting another man. I am not proud of it. He gave me attention, checked up on me daily, sent inspirational quotes, bible verses and all kinds of things to help me get through the hard days of my life. I have no excuses for entertaining these conversations, but I did it. Maybe I craved that attention or that feeling that someone gave a shit about me, so I continued the texting and a few phone calls here and there. Did I love the guy? 100% as a human being, I did. Was he someone I’d pursue a relationship with or get involved physically with? Absolutely not. But Chris set up a recorder in my house and listened to an entire evening of my conversations with everyone from my sister, to brother, to best friend, to this guy. He heard me say I love him. Accused me of having a ‘sexy voice’ on. Guys.. I cannot express how angry I was when he told me he put a recorder in my house! When he played it back for me, I was LIVID. I told him I know exactly what I said on those calls. That I do not care what he has to say about any of it. I handled that situation poorly. Not just because I was mad, but because I was embarrassed. Well Chris took that incident and ran with it. This exact incident is what he uses against me and as his excuse for every poor choice he has made since February. Including seeing his “girlfriend” that he now he has.

This brings us to current day and the reason I've been single parenting and fielding questions from my children about daddy not being here to spend time with our family. Chris has a girlfriend in Miami. For all I know, he’s had her for a long time but claims I’m the one “in love with someone else” and that is why he is with her. Makes total sense right? (insert eye roll). He claims I broke his heart. Yeah, okay. Apparently my heart is made of steel because nothing he’s done over these last 10 years would've broken mine, huh? I’ve looked this girl up. Good ol’ Amanda Jarrett. That name will forever be in my brain as scum, trash, shit, any other synonym for DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING. I’ve looked her up of course. Her ex-husband, in prison. 3 kids, multiple fathers. Evictions every year since 2017. Committed a 3rd degree felony. Cannot get a real job (obviously) so she “cooks” meal prep foods in her house and sells it. It’s quite pathetic actually. Chris spends every single weekend with her. 5 hour drive down on a Friday morning, doesn’t come back until Sunday night. In that time he makes sure to treat her like a queen. Something he NEVER did with me and let me tell you how fucking ANGRY and hurt that makes me. Sacrificing my entire life, carrying his 3 children, taking care of my home and children while working full-time, being the main bread winner for YEARS. NONE OF THAT WAS ENOUGH. I have to watch him spoil this sorry excuse of a woman and I could not even get a 99cent card for Mother’s Day this year. What hurts me the most though is seeing how much this hurts my kids. They are such emotional little humans who really FEEL their feelings. Brianna seems to just want to keep to herself and not be bothered. She’s always sad and quiet. Jordan has been acting out, talking back, not being his old, sweet self. He also cries a lot and asks why daddy can’t spend time with him any more. Ava has been attached to my hip 24/7. She refuses to leave my side. She’s actually sitting on my lap in my bed as I’m typing this. I just hate that Chris can’t grow up and see how badly his choices will affect them. I cannot say anything to him though because he automatically gets defensive and it ALWAYS turns into an argument. Queue the tears- because they’re flowing as I type this. My heart is tired.

Our weekends are now super busy. Purposely. I cannot keep my mind calm while sitting around and this has been a huge struggle for me. So while I’m planning our weekends so the kids can have fun, I’m planning them for my own sanity as well. Last weekend we took a trip to the Saint Augustine Aquarium and fed sharks and sting rays. This weekend, we went to lunch with my best friend Becca and had a coloring/painting night at our house. We also watched 2 movies and read books. Today, Sunday, the kids and I had a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse. It’s the small things.

This post wasn’t supposed to be so reflective on the past but I guess the back story was needed to see where I’m at today. It was a rough weekend. They usually always are. I do not get a break and it’s become so overwhelming. I found myself just wishing the day would hurry and be over so I could come lay in bed and close out the world. I never have luck with falling asleep though so I've been reading some fiction to keep my mind occupied. I’m actually in middle of a hilarious book called Big Gray. I’m rushing through this post just so I can get back to reading it (lol). So I guess this is all for now.. 

Reminding myself - one day at a time.

Sincerely, Sasha

[zapresshawn-blog]

gerardo, the one who considers himself “that bitch”

“stop calling yourself ‘that bitch.’ you’re not nicki minaj. you’re not cardi b. dude, you’re just ‘a bitch.’’

these are words that came out of my mouth during what i’m guessing will be the last date between gerardo and i.

this isn’t a flashback story. gerardo is was the most current guy i considered myself “talking to.” yes, i was also texting another guy. i move fast. i’ll get there. 

like all great gay relationships, we met on tinder. it’s a little classier than grindr so i’m cool with it. i wish i could go back and screenshot some of the cute first messages we exchanged but i’ve been blocked. unlike instagram and twitter, i’m unable to create a fake account to gather this information. 

we met at hache la, a cute little hamburger joint in silver lake. i wasn’t sure what to expect so a dinner date seemed safe. i could stuff my face and bounce if necessary. i’m not going to lie, after dinner i still wasn’t sure what to think but he was cute enough to invite to one of the music venues i work at for a show. we drank a little, watched a few bands, and spent over an hour making out in my car outside of his parents house. the definition of romantic. 

things kind of picked up quickly after that. we hung out twice that week including another show + a night of real housewives of atlanta and cuddling. me knowing myself and that cuddling always (well 69% of the time) leads to sex, i decided it was best to get tested for STDs. i like to make sure i’m not carrying any past mistakes into new relationships. i’m responsible like that. results came back decemeber 6th, negative. duh. 

the next week included another show + another night of real housewives of atlanta and cuddling. this was becoming a tradition in my eyes. it doesn’t take much to win me over. reality television and shitty food hit the spot. 

however, the excitement of a new relationship started to wear off one saturday night he decided to ignore a text. let me paint the picture. i had spent the evening at a party in the hollywood hills and texted him around 11:30pm because for some reason this “hollywood party” that i had been looking so forward to ended very early. he responded that he was at my favorite gay bar in downtown with his friend kevin and cindy.  me being me, i sent, “thanks for the invite.” i’m cute like that. did he respond? nope. however, he did find the time to follow a guy on instagram and like a couple of his pictures. i tried to stay calm. i told myself, “he’s out. he will text me in like 30 minutes. nbd.” time passed, nothing. i called friends looking for someone to put my mind at ease but nothing was working. it’s literally impossible to get me out of my head once i fall in a hole. so me being shameless, i sent a text calling him out for ignoring me with the receipts to prove he had been on his phone. he magically responded to this immediately but the damage had been done. i was mad and there was nothing he could have said that night to make me feel better. i needed to vent. he stopped responding which, looking back, was definitely the best decision. 

i wasn’t mad that he had followed a new gay on instagram that also happened to live in los angeles and definitely looked like someone you would meet on a dating app. no. i was just upset about being ignored. 

the next day he finally responded in the morning saying, “the guy was someone in the bar that MADE him and his friends follow him on instagram.” queue stalker zack. before responding to gerardo i went to this guy’s instagram to see if in fact cindy and kevin had followed him as well. they hadn’t but a guy by the name of garconfilm on instagram who had also been recently followed by gerardo had followed him right after gerardo. this told me that 1. i probably wasn’t invited to precinct because he was with this guy and didn’t want me to know. 2. i can’t 100% trust gerardo because, while i never found cindy’s instagram, i know kevin is active and should have followed this guy as well. 

i could have went off and accused him of lying. trust me, i wanted to but i was tired and honestly over it the next day. the guy wasn’t cute and i told myself, “if he chooses this loser over me then so be it. i’m better then that anyways.” stay humble.

by this point, i was off apps. i wasn’t seeking out any other guys. i wanted to give gerardo a true chance.

it’s crazy how being ignored once can change all of that. i started to truly think about what he was bringing to the table. he is 22, works at two restaurants downtown, lives at home with his family, wants to be a comedian, calls himself that bitch, and takes like 5 years to respond to texts. there’s nothing wrong with anything stated in that sentence but is it what i’m looking for in a partner? not really. i’m 27, i work full time for two music venues downtown, i consider myself a nice guy, i have my own space, and if i don’t respond within 30 minutes then i’m dead.

so i said yes when oscar, a guy i went out with a few times this past summer, asked to hang out. he was a guy that i already knew, who i found attractive, who was responding to all of my texts immediately, and was the one asking me out instead of me having to make all the plans. it was the complete opposite of everything gerardo was doing. 

it felt harmless to me. well it started harmless. i can’t lie. i held his hand during the movie and we may have kissed after he walked me to my car. if that makes me a horrible person then i accept i’m a horrible person. 

would i have been hurt if gerardo would have done the same thing? absolutely. it’s not that i didn’t feel bad after because i did. i just knew that i was at a place where i needed to talk with gerardo about what we really needed out of a relationship and that was my plan. i mean, we had been planning on hanging out the next night. what could possibly go wrong in less than 24 hours?

don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.

we were planning another night of real housewives and cuddling. i was planning on hitting him with la la land. remember, it’s our tradition and all i want is someone to tap with at the griffith observatory. 

after waking up to a cute text and a confirmation for that night, gerardo sent me a text informing me that he will now be going to dinner with his friends cindy and ashley at 5:30pm. 

look, i would never ask someone to ditch their friends for me but our plans were for 9:30-10pm because i had my work holiday party that night. needless to say, i was not happy about this at all. he called me. i tried to make sense of the situation but came across as needy. in my mind, he could easily make both of these plans work. when i brought the timeline to his attention he literally said, “let me ask my friends if i can.” as if his friends suddenly became the people who dictate his life. like bitch, did cindy give birth to you also? i was hurt. he hung up. i had a horrible time at the holiday party. he texted me after and invited me to his friends house and i made the mistake of going. 

i got to the loft where ashley lived in downtown. i was greeted outside by gerardo as i’m finishing a cigarette. it’s clear that i would rather be anywhere else in los angeles but that i’m trying to be a good sport and make this work because i do care about this guy. i was immediately shocked the second i walk into the loft and saw that it’s not only gerardo, cindy, and ashley but also ashley’s (i’m guessing) 2 year old son running around as they smoke and take shots of gin.

i think kids are awesome. i used to hate them and get creeped out but as i get older, i do see myself as a father one day. this does not mean that i want a kid running around as i’m taking shots but not my child, not my problem. as the great whitney houston once sang, “i believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.” ashley obviously had the right idea. 

i figured that gerardo had probably said rude shit about our conversation earlier on the phone so i was in damage control mode. i hate when i feel like people don’t like me. especially if they’ve never actually met me before. 

gerardo doesn’t smoke so when ashley and cindy went outside i decided this was my opportunity to impress them. wrong. they barely acknowledged i was outside with them. their conversation was so “inside” that it was impossible for me to jump in. it was then that i decided there was nothing i could do and i wanted to leave. i know everyone in that room could feel the irritation radiating off of me and i didn’t care. there was so much shit going on in that apartment that i didn’t care for and i just wanted to go home. after almost 2 hours, gerardo asked if i was ready. i said, “yes.”

this is the beginning of our first argument. i did everything but run out of that loft but i could tell gerardo was dragging his feet. i knew he wanted to stay with his friends. why? idk, ask jesus. but deep down i knew. so i said, “you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” he responded, “i know i don’t. i would have been completely fine if i hadn’t seen you tonight but now you’re here and i’m going with you.” 

there’s something about that statement that just didn’t sit right with me. we’re talking about the guy i’m trying to actually date saying he would be ok if he didn’t see me. i mean, not to be dramatic, but i was getting very heavy, “fuck our plans, fuck you, fuck whatever this relationship is” vibes from him at that moment. 

the way i think about it ... we are in our first month. we should be excited to see each other. 

friends and being busy isn’t an excuse with me. i work a full time job monday through friday, i work at a coffee shop on saturdays, i go to shows / events every night, i hang out with my friends, and i date. don’t come at me with the “i’m busy” line. 

i’m not going to lie and say i never thought about his age but this was definitely a moment i was reminded that he was 5 years younger. when we got back to my place he started saying the dumbest shit to prove that he was “that bitch” and a “bad guy.” i think the gin shots had definitely hit him by this point. 

some of his best lines included, “i hate homeless people. i wish they would all die.” and “i can’t stand asians. they annoy me.” remember this guy wants to be a comedian so i was waiting for the punchline. unfortunately, there wasn’t one. he was just being a dick. 

i was sleepy and completely over it by this point but that doesn’t mean i wasn’t still horny. you see, gerardo had a not so secret weapon over me. his ass. he may be short and a little more skinny than i usually like my guys but damn, that ass tho. so we played around. he shared with me that night that he had only had sex with one person but “sucks dick all the time.” well the self proclaimed dick sucking pro ended up hitting my penis with his teeth that night so things quickly came to a halt. 

the next morning i woke up with discharge and the thought in the back of my mind that this relationship may not be healthy for me. so i called the lgbt center and made plans with oscar to hang out again on thursday. flashback to earlier in this post where i shared my STD results. negative. meaning that in the two weeks since i had been tested, gerardo would have had to have messed with another guy. he was the only one sucking my dick. i shared the fun news with him and he took it very well. i also shared a story with him about another guy i was talking to earlier in the year. i swore he gave me an STD and that all the symptoms were present. i was treated before i got my results back saying that i was negative. my body is weird. so did gerardo give me something. i’m still not sure. i was only tested a few hours ago but i’ll keep you in the loop. 

anyways, all of this leads to wednesday night (december 20, 2017). gerardo was supposed to come over to my house for movie after i finished grabbing drinks with my old roommate, lindsey. he was an hour and a half late due to being called into work. when he arrived i felt he was acting a little standoffish. he downed a bottle of wine as we watched drop dead gorgeous, one of my favorite movies. he finally came to cuddle with me on the couch when the 2 hour movie had finished but fell asleep soon after and started mumbling shit that didn’t make any sense. i suggested it was time for bed. 

i honestly don’t remember what started the argument. i too had been drinking and was half asleep. things escalated fast. *insert quote from beginning of this post* + me throwing in his face that i was going to be seeing oscar the next night.

i really don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. it’s a problem.

i wanted to punch this guy, cuddle him, kick him out, and kiss him all at the same time. i was completely over his bullshit but also didn’t want him to go. it doesn’t make any sense but i believe we’ve all been there before. 

we fought for a long time. both of us interrupting the other. it was going nowhere. 

i don’t blame gerardo for being upset. i lost his trust by admitting that i had spent time with oscar. although it was innocent, i had just used it against him. 

i tried to explain that i didn’t feel like our relationship was strong enough yet for me to swerve other guys. i tried to explain that maybe he isn’t able to give me the attention i need because he is always so consumed in himself. i know that sounds like a dig but it’s not. he is and will admit it. he isn’t in a position to put someone else’s feelings before his own. at least not mine. while i’m over here bending over backwards to just get a text back from him during the day. 

as much as it sucks, we were at two different points in the relationship. he didn’t like dealing with my emotions. there’s a lot. i definitely require someone with patience but i feel like there has to be someone out there who feels as much as i do. 

he unfollowed me on everything and i’m sure deleted my number but i do wish him the best. i hope he either keeps it strictly casual with future partners or finds a guy who is able to steal his attention away from his friends. accomplish what i was not able to. 

the lesson i learn from this story is, if a guy refers to himself as a bitch, believe it and go find something better for yourself.