#*holds u up as the ONLY person in existence with an ''her ship actually came from someone else'' hc that feels valid*

[hms-no-fun]

so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)

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so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once

FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!

i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.

i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.

this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!

like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.

i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.

that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.

so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.

the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.

what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.

as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.

as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways

[airbenderedacted]

- Around 14-15, while running around, tormenting a bunch of people she had fallen into a pond. It took a while for her to resurface. Days afterwards she began having massive headaches so she got checked up

She got a brain parasite. Which is irremovable and will definitely cut her life short.

Wanna know how she reacted? She didn't care, she only saw this as a challenge to do as much destruction in the quickest time possible.

Obv this isn't some villain origin story, she's always been evil and loved hurting others, it's just kind of a thing her species does. It's natural for all of them to be god awful evil

Of course as years pass her memory only worsens, she begins to forget about it. She can't remember why she decided to dominate and destroy the galaxy of all things, but that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy, she just can't remember why she chose to destroy the galaxy

Around the final episode she forgets about the galaxy entirely, only remembering that her ship is gone and that she pretty much has no home

Eh. It's whatever. Her kind didn't even live that long anyway

TL ; DR "you have a parasite that's shortened your life span-" "Aight bet"

- She's actually surprisingly good with children. Due to scaring kids (both purposefully and accidentally) she knows whaf to do and what not to do. So she wouldn't be too bad of a baby sitter.

She doesn't like tormenting children as much as she used to because "they're too easy to scare"

- The parasite has also weakened her immune sysrem which is why she caught Hay Fever so easily

She doesn't remember obv

- At first Dom hated Wander due to him being extremely sketchy and looking like a species from a planet that actually almost evaporated Dom. But she forgot, obv

- she's actually a very good artist, sometimes she'll draw her latest "adventures"

She keeps these drawings in a folder inside one of the bots

- it makes her happier to kill guilty and awful people because then she gets away with it more easily jic

- she's actually reptilian, her skin is sort lf rough with scales and hard to burn

But without heating, Dom can VERY easily catch frostbite

- she actually sometimes admires flowers and picks them before destroying a planet

Idk she just likes botany sometimes

It sort of reminded her about her homeland until.. she.. forgot

- she's an Ace Lesbian and genderfluid (any pronouns)

She has a gay aro gendervoid brother who is purple instead of green (any pronouns)

They used to joke that they swapped everything at birth

- Lord Dominator hardly misses her family. I think it's obv why lol

- As much as Dom would like a friend like she had in Girls Night Out, she knows it's probably for the best that she doesn't have one for several reasons

- she's extremely light weight. Probably only weighs about 20 pounds

- Dom is sexless! "What about her ch-" that's just part of her body shape. In fact most of her species is sexless

- she found out she was a lesbian simply by going "oh I don't like guys. So anyways-"

- Her favorite cartoons are Happy Tree Friends and Horrid Henry

(yes. The gruesome, blood filled torturous show and then some fuccin british show)

- Dom can eat volcanium X, but not too much or she'll get sick

- her ship actually used to belong to her dad, but it got severely wrecked. With the help of her brother though she managed to fix it up

That's all we remember for now

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Fushiguro Megumi Headcanons: Visiting a haunted house with his s/o

For the sake of this headcanon, the Shibuya arc never existed

Megumi kinda forgets Halloween even exists most years. He only remembers its spoopy season because there's always an influx of curses born at the beginning of October in anticipation of the holiday.

In all honesty, every day is Halloween to him with the stuff Shamans have to deal with. So when Yuji proposed the four first years visit a haunted house, Megumi's first thought was "Really? Just wait until Gojo-Sensei gives us a mission. Same thing." 

But oh God, the way his s/o's face lit up at the idea, it kinda made his chest tighten and he just stared because oh God they're beautiful

He agreed.

Gojo decided the kids needed a break and gave them a night off a couple of days before Halloween (because, sadly, Halloween night is the busiest night of the year for Shamans) and the four headed off to town.

The only people who are allowed to dress up at these things are the scare actors, but that didn't stop Nobara from spooping everyone up a tad. Megumi was given fake vampire teeth, much to his disliking, with that weird fake candy blood dabbed on his lips. His S/O was given nothing more than two bloody dots on their neck, resembling bite marks. Nobara was supportive like that.

Megumi couldn't stop staring at his s/o's neck the entire time. He loved everything about them, but their neck was God tier. The candy blood was strawberry and he knew it would taste twice as sweet if he licked it off of their neck-

But PDA isn't really his thing. The others know about their relationship, but they rarely show it around them.

Alas, they have arrived.

It looks surprisingly well put together despite being a pop-up thing. Idk how to describe a haunted house so please, let your imagination run rampant.

Megumi buys two tickets. It's obvious who they're for. Yuji rlly gets offended. It's a mess. Yuji loves all of his friends, but ever since Megumi and his s/o started dating he hasn't been getting enough attention and this displeases him.

Nobara, Yuji, and s/o are chatting happily while waiting in line to get in. Megumi hangs back slightly, scrolling through his phone while they chat away. This is a common occurrence. Those three drag Megumi around to a lot of places he doesn't want to go to. As compensation, he kinda just does whatever he wants. His partner understands.

The haunted house allows two people in at a time so Nobara and Yuji opt to go in ahead of the couple. After yelling at the person directing them not to lose her fucking hammer (she rlly thought weapons were allowed in the haunted house), Nobara marched in with Yuji in tow.

This was the moment Megumi was waiting for, really. Pda around total strangers in the dark was so much better than around his classmates. It's not like they even teased him or anything, it just felt weird.

He slips his phone in his back pocket and grabs his s/o's hand, intertwining their fingers.

But?? They jump??? And their hands are kinda clammy??? 

"Hey, sweetie? Are you okay?"

Megumi is seriously debating turning around and leaving the other classmates behind; is his baby sick??? Is something wrong??? He'll hurt someone-

But they have such a big happy smile on their face. They explain that they're super stoked for their turn to arrive and it's just nerves from the anticipation.

This confuses Megumi. His s/o faces grotesque monsters every day. What makes this special? Are they really scared? What the fu-

Oh hey, it's their turn now.

The first couple of scares were nothing but cheap jumpscares. Megumi was more caught off guard by the fact his s/o was caught so off guard by it and actually screamed. He instinctively went to pull them to safety, but they laughed. They giggled as they grabbed onto his arm. Megumi froze for a split second before turning the brightest shade of red.

Maybe this was why he didn't do PDA

They ventured onward

Sometime later there's this scare actress dressed up like a doll sitting in the middle of a corridor

It's pretty straightforward; Megumi watched two couples walk by while the doll pretended to grab their ankles. By the way, where’s Nobara and Yuji? He knows for a fact if they came this way Nobara would have kicked the shit out of her-

S/o hides behind Megumi while clinging to his hoodie and it's SO CUTE he almost forgets he has to move toward the creepy doll woman.

They move forward.

The doll, naturally, doesn't frighten Megumi at all, but what happens next does

There's a scream, followed by an "Ow! Hey! Let go!". Fingernails are digging into his back and not in a good way.

S/o almost fell over because the doll lady has their ankle in both hands and is holding it above the ground. S/o is obviously pulling as hard as they can to get their leg back. They aren't smiling anymore. Those are tears from fear, not laughter.

Megumi kinda loses it for a minute

"Get the fuck off of them, freak" His very large foot connects with her very tiny jaw. She flies backward.

"Hey! What the fuck bro? I'm trying to tie her shoe!" 

Oh dear, their shoe really is untied

"Run."

"What?"

"R U N"

There is now a woman, who actually is kinda doll-sized, dressed in a frilly blue dress with a matching bonnet chasing the young lovers through the haunted house. It's a riot.

Doll lady has anger issues so this is common. A hefty butcher man just kinda wraps his arm around her middle and carries her off.

But Megumi and his s/o don't know that, so they keep running until they make it out.

S/o rlly did manage to get out without tripping until the vERY last minute, y'know, for plot reasons

Megumi catches them bc he's a strong boy ™

He runs his fingers through their hair and tries to get a good read of their face. "Are you alright babe? They didn't hurt you, right?"

S/o bursts out in... Laughter. They double over laughing, with Megumi's strong arms around them to support them.

"You should have seen the look on that loli bitch's face omgggg Meguminnnn"

Megumi can't help but burst out laughing too. This night has been so surreal for him. This is so out of the ordinary for him, he didn't even want to be here. He hasn't attacked a civilian since middle school. What even is this-

And he did it all for them

He cups his lover's face in both hands and pulls them in. He kisses them roughly. He doesn't give a shit who's watching. The teeth get in the way but neither of them cares. Megumi was right, the blood really is strawberry flavored, and they love it.

There's a wolf whistle. Catcall? What are they even called?

Its fucking Sukuna, guys

Nobara and Yuji were there the whole time, just outside the exit, waiting for them

Yuji is busy slapping each of Sukuna's mouths as they pop up because he's making some very naughty remarks. Nobara is squealing because finally, her ship is sailing. Well, she means, it's been sailed, but still.

Megumi is officially the brightest shade of red you have ever seen. His lover is giggling again.

Fushiguro Megumi will never live down the night he kicked a midget doll in the face and made out with the love of his life in public, and despite protests, he wouldn't have it any other way. 

[roguerogerss]

Hi babe! I saw you wanted some requests so here I am! Could you do a Bucky x reader where the reader has secret telekinesis abilities (or whatever Wanda can do lmao) and is forced to use them on a mission. Bucky is just in shock bc his secret crush is a even more of a badass, so when he compliments her powers, she gets flustered and disagrees bc they’re dangerous, so Bucky helps her see the beauty in them? Tysm ❤️❤️

His Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

W/C: 3.9k (eek sorry!)

Warnings: Language (??), that's literally it.

(A/N: This one got away from me a little and I wrote wayyy more than anticipated. I hope u like it though? Idk. I had so much fun with this request, thank u sm bb! Praying that someone reads this, even though it's a whole ass novel.)

————

"Bucky, where are you? We have a minute and eight seconds until this place blows."

Y/N was worried, and, upon hearing her frantic voice in his intercoms, Bucky was too. He was aware that he didn't have long until the bomb detonated, but unaware of just how short that amount of time was. He was caught up in a fight, one that was frustrating in the way that he couldn't shake this guy. "Yeah, be there in five?"

He was being sarcastic, he must've been being sarcastic, Y/N shook her head and pressed her fingers to her temples, agitated. "Five what? Five seconds? Minutes? Bucky, I have to ask, are you insane?"

She seemed angry - no, she was most definitely angry - and Bucky silently cursed himself and allowed the Hydra agent to get a hit in, he thought he probably deserved it. "Look, I'll get out. Is there anything you guys can do to buy me some more time?"

Tony had chimed in by this point, telling Bucky that he was 'fucking crazy', ranting and raving to the heavens above about how the entire motive had been messed up and they might as well have stayed home. Y/N knew that she could help him, but that would mean using them - she didn't like to call them by the name that most would use - and she wasn't sure if it was really worth the risk. Bucky would get out, right? He'd work something out.

But time was ticking on, fifty-nine seconds now, and she was unsure of just how right that assumption was. She wasn't even entirely sure that she still had her powers, since she'd avoided using them or telling anyone that they existed since she'd escaped from the grasp of Hydra. Even as she doubted her abilities, she found herself rising from her seat behind the control panels of the Quinjet, next to Steve, and sprinting to the exit to the aircraft.

"Y/N, where are you going?" Steve asked, getting up and following her. The rest of the team were staring now, Natasha and Tony also standing from their places and looking expectantly in Y/N's direction.

"I have something that'll help. Something that you guys don't know about." She said sheepishly, slamming her palm down on the button that opened the exit hatch. "Don't worry, I've got this."

Even though she was promising her friends that everything would be okay, they seemingly didn't believe her, as all five of the other Avengers on the ship - Tony, Nat, Steve, Sam and Thor - followed her out onto the streets of Bucharest, where the public was in awe at the huge, futuristic ship that was sat in the middle of a narrow, cobbled street. Natasha had told them to go home, she'd made the best effort she could to make sure that everyone was safe. However, no one had listened, and so she desperately ushered them away from the place that she knew would soon be rubble, while Y/N ran in search for Bucky.

They had what they'd came for, but that didn't mean that there were no Hydra agents willing to get into altercations with the team. Thor and Steve were frantically fighting off a pack of them, while Tony and Sam helped Y/N, hopefully getting a better view of the streets and where Bucky might be. "Hey, Y/N, I got him. Turn right, next street over. You'll see him." Sam spoke into the intercoms. Y/N thanked him, hurrying off in search of the super-soldier to whom she'd taken more than a liking to over the few months that he'd been fighting with them.

"Buck, I'm on my way, you better be ready to get the fuck out of here." Bucky's eyebrows furrowed as he wondered why Y/N, of all people, was the one who was coming to save him. He had to admit, he was more embarrassed than anything else, needing the help of the one girl who he'd felt anything for in seventy years. But he tried to brush it off, mostly because he had to focus on not letting a Hydra agent rip his arm off, and answered her.

"What are you gonna do? If I can't fight him off, no offence, but what makes you think you'll be able to?" Bucky sounded breathless, and she could hear the obvious sounds of strain and struggle as he continued to tussle with the agent. Y/N took a deep breath and turned the corner, close enough to hear the ominous beeping of the explosive device that a Hydra agent had planted there in hopes of causing harm to one of the Avengers.

"You know what, maybe don't question it. I have my own doubts, but it certainly doesn't help that you have them too."

The agent, who was currently deep in a brawl with Bucky, noticed Y/N, but all that she was able to think about was the amount of time that was left on the clock. She asked FRIDAY, and a rush of adrenaline and fear coursed through her when she realised that they weren't going to get out in time.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

Y/N drew her gun and shot the Hydra agent, not missing as usual, and Bucky snorted. "Couldn't have done that earlier?"

Four, three, two,

She knew that this was it. It was either expose the world to her powers, probably be deemed as a weapon and certainly become even more wanted by Hydra, or die, and let her friends die too. She took a deep breath and felt the horribly familiar surge of - what was it, electricity? She wasn't actually sure - coursing through her body, and watched as Bucky ogled at the purple wisps of magic that extended from her hands and the way that her irises seemed to ignite.

One.

Bucky ducked and shielded his face, but looked up again when he didn't hear, nor feel anything that would signal an explosion had happened. Y/N had it under control, holding the bomb together with just her fingertips. She'd thought that it wouldn't happen, that her abilities would've simply subsided into nothingness due to being unused for so long, but she was wrong. She'd done it, and there was no going back now.

And then? The small explosion turned huge, and lurched forwards, setting a civilian apartment building completely alight. Y/N stood, watching, mouth wide open and quite unable to understand the circumstances of what the hell just happened. Bucky was at her side, a hand on her shoulder as he, too, watched the destruction take place. The rest of the team had rushed straight there, each one of them with hands over agape mouths while Steve called for Fire and Rescue and Tony wondered aloud, 'What the fuck is going on?'

Y/N found herself on her knees. She could see and hear Bucky in front of her, worry in his eyes as a few tears dripped from her chin onto her chest, but she didn't have it in her to decipher what his words meant, they all just sounded muffled and like he was speaking a language that she didn't understand.

She didn't know what she'd done, how bad it was, but she could hear the screams of the residents of the building, she could feel them vibrating through her body and ringing in her ears, and that was enough to convince her that her enhancements truly were the worst thing about her, that she really was the weapon that Hydra had deliberately mutated her to be.

--------

It had been hours. How many, Y/N was unsure, but a considerable amount of time had passed since they'd gotten home. The flight back from Bucharest had consisted of Y/N locking herself in a cabin, and the rest of the people on the Quinjet taking it in turns to try to speak to her, to try to understand.

No one, apart from Bucky, (who only had a vague idea), knew what had happened. There wasn't a single person on the jet who could fully understand it, Y/N included.

She was now sat on a sofa in the lounge, chewing off parts of her nails while everyone murmured and tiptoed around her. Tony was speaking quickly on the phone and glancing at her every couple of seconds, Steve was pacing back and forth along the length of the room.

Y/N wondered for a minute what would happen. Would she be arrested? Would something like the accords happen again? Was she about to become the cause of another civil war? Would Tony disown her? Send her back to Hydra? She didn't know. She didn't think she wanted to know.

Wanda and Natasha had come to comfort Y/N at first, sat with her and braided her hair like they did often, and it was nice to think that Wanda knew exactly what she was going through.

However, she'd told them that she wanted to be alone, and they'd dispersed and were sitting quietly in two separate armchairs, watching a movie with Sam. The truth was, she didn't really want to be alone. She wanted Bucky. She didn't quite know why, but she'd always felt calm around him, which was one of the reasons why she'd taken such a shine to him, and she made it very clear to herself that she was at least a little bit in love with Bucky, in a way that was less platonic and more romantic.

She couldn't lie and say that she was happy with the way that he'd handled things, though. As soon as the jet landed, he mumbled something about taking a shower and hurried off to his room, like he couldn't stand to be around her for any longer, like he was afraid of her.

And, honestly? She wouldn't be surprised if he was.

The truth, of course, wasn't that Bucky didn't want to see her, it wasn't that he was afraid of her, it was that she was evidently upset. It was tearing him apart to have to see her like that. He felt like he was obligated to be alone to think about what had happened, because he knew that - realistically - it was his fault that she'd had to use her powers. He'd been caught up in a fight, the bomb that had been planted was seconds away from detonating, she had to do something. Of course, he had no idea that something was going to be exposing hidden telekinetic abilities to the world, but close enough, right?

"I just got off the phone with a higher up." Tony stood in the middle of the lounge, everyone looking at him as he began his speech. "Everything's gonna be fine. Just, maybe don't turn on the news for a couple days, Y/N doesn't need to see that."

"Don't act like I'm a kid, please." Y/N spoke up, making it clear that she was annoyed by the fact that everyone was seemingly ignoring that it was her who had done this. "I did this, Tony. I want to know how much damage I caused."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, shaking his head at her. "No, this is not the time to get all Steve-y on me, okay? You don't need to see it, you don't need to know, so you're not going to. Is that clear to you?"

"Mistakes happen, Y/N. It's not your fault." Steve said from where he was standing, next to the breakfast bar. "What matters is that you tell us what actually happened at some point."

"So, what I'm going to take from that, is that it's bad." She turned from Steve, back to Tony. "I'm not weak, I can deal with what I did, Tony."

Tony snapped, the stress of the situation and the argument from his daughter-figure becoming too much for him to handle, "Goddamn it, Y/N, you really wanna know what you did? Let's see, first of all, you used whatever powers you have, something that you clearly knew about but warned no one of. Second of all, you essentially bombed an apartment building in a poor part of Romania, you literally took from the poor. And now what? Fifty-five people are dead, kids have been left without parents, and that's on my back. Plus, you're being publicly deemed as a weapon until they figure out what's really going on there. So, do tell us, what is really going on there?"

"Tony. Stop." Wanda said, but Y/N was already halfway out of the room, with Tony realising that he probably shouldn't have said what he did and following after her.

"Y/N, hey, I'm sorry, okay?" Tony called, but she wasn't listening. She got in the elevator and left Tony alone in the hallway without a word, tears threatening to spill from her eyes the whole time.

And then, finally, they did. When the doors of the elevator closed, when she could no longer hear Tony's voice, when she was alone, oh they did. She found herself on the floor, face cradled in her hands - the same hands that killed fifty-five people just hours before - and there were tears falling from her eyes, past her chin, soaking her black catsuit.

She felt empty, like her body was a shell and she was simply there, watching herself fall apart. It was a kind of guilt, one that ate at her from the inside and seared through every nerve, every part of her, until she could think of doing nothing but curling up and ceasing to exist. She wanted to yell, scream, punch something, run. Anything that would distract her from how she felt. She wanted to sleep for a week, maybe two, forget about everything and ignore her responsibilities until it hurt less. Most importantly, however, she wanted Bucky. She wanted now more than ever to be his girl. For him to lay with her and tangle his fingers in her hair and whisper sweet things in her ear until the bad things in the world simply melted away.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, but Y/N didn't get up, not until FRIDAY asked if she wanted to go to another floor. When she did, however, she found herself taking the wrong turn, to the left instead of to the right, and walking away from her room instead of towards it. Without thinking, she'd already opened the door to Bucky's room, where he was reclined lazily on his bed, a pair of sweatpants on and nothing else, focused on the ceiling.

He furrowed his eyebrows at her when she gave him a tiny little smile, but sighed when he noticed the remnants of her somewhat breakdown on her face. Bucky held his arms open, "Hey, c'mere."

She stepped into his embrace, tears finding their way onto her face again, and let him caress her back and play with her hair until the crying stopped. When Bucky held her, everything felt different, like she could put things into perspective and understand that maybe it wasn't all her fault. "Look, I know you think that this is the end of the world. I know it's scary, but Wanda learned how to use her powers for good. You can do the same." Bucky's attempt at comforting Y/N wasn't exactly superlative, but she knew that he was trying.

"I'm a weapon, Buck." She pulled away from him and sat on the end of the bed, wanting to cry and clawing at the sleeves of her suit in an essay to calm herself down. "That's how Tony worded it, anyway. I shouldn't have used them."

Bucky knew that his next question was stupid, that he probably shouldn't have asked it, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he was speaking before properly thinking over the consequences. "How did you get them?" He reached out for her hand and she let him hold it, getting a rush of exhilaration from the affectionate gesture.

Bucky wasn't usually one for showing how he felt, much less for saying it out loud or doing anything to communicate his feelings, and he wasn't quite sure why he had had a sudden change of heart and almost wanted her to know that he liked her, that, really, he would do anything for her. She didn't meet his eye as she began her explanation. "Well, before Tony found me, I worked for Hydra. Actually, less worked for them and more became their personal lab rat. They did a lot of experiments on me, tortured me, really, made me more destructive than any enemy organisation would know how to handle. And then, I escaped. And here I am, talking to you."

She gave him a sad little smile, one that he would swear had broken him. "I'm sorry." It was a lame excuse for comfort, really it was, but he racked his brain once, twice, and couldn't for the life of him find the right words to say.

"Don't be." Y/N shifted in her place, gaze on her hands which were clasped in her lap. It was quiet and Bucky wished that he knew what to say to her, that he could think of something that would make her feel less alone or soothe her in some way. A minute went by, two minutes, three minutes. The silence might've been comfortable between the pair, but it was certainly uncomfortable between Y/N and her own thoughts. "I should go." She said, standing from her place on the bed without looking in Bucky's direction once.

He knew that he had to say something, anything that would make her stay. The thought of her alone in her room was heartbreaking to him. He grabbed her wrist before she could take any more than a few steps towards the door and she looked down at him, lips slightly parted and one eyebrow raised in a silent question. "You're not a weapon. Sure, Stark said that, whatever, the guy's an asshole. But you're not a weapon, Y/N."

She gave a little humourless laugh, blowing a puff of air out of her nose. "The government apparently seem to think so."

Bucky smiled at her and said, "Fuck the government."

"Oh, so you're an anarchist now? Classy." Y/N sat back down and Bucky's heart felt like it was doing summersaults in his chest, all fluttery. She was smiling, he had made her smile, and it was genuine. As far as he was concerned, nothing else really mattered.

"You know what I mean."

"I don't, actually."

Bucky sighed and cocked an eyebrow at her, eliciting a laugh from her lips. "You're really going to make me explain myself, huh?" He joked. "Look, You're not a weapon to me. I think you're a badass, actually." She snorted.

"Bucky, I killed a lot of people."

"So have I." Bucky's tongue darted out to wet his lips as he placed a tender hand on her thigh. "You don't see me as the bad guy. You never have, actually. What I'm trying to say, is that all of us have done bad things. Made mistakes, lost control, that doesn't make us bad people."

"I feel like a bad person." Y/N had her eyes trained on Bucky's face, bottom lip held tightly between her teeth as she tried to avoid letting herself word-vomit about everything that she was feeling at that moment. His hand squeezed her thigh gently, and she let out an embarrassing and involuntary gasp that made her cheeks turn bright red.

"Don't. Y/N, I know it's cheesy as hell, but you did it to save my life, right?" Y/N nodded slowly, "So how does that make you a bad person?"

"You're grasping at strings, here."

“What can I say that'll make you feel better?"

Y/N knew what she wanted to hear, that he liked her as more than a friend, that he wanted to be with her like she wanted to be with him, that her fantasies weren't just fantasies, that he really did love her. But she couldn't say that. God, of course she couldn't say that. So, instead, she simply shrugged.

Bucky knew what he wanted to say to her, that he liked her as more than a friend, wanted her to be with him, of course he loved her. He couldn't drop all of that on her when all she'd given was a shrug, right? Wrong, apparently, because the words spilled from his mouth anyways, like he couldn't control himself.

And really, he couldn't. But he figured that she already knew that.

“I love you." He spluttered, and her eyes widened in shock. "Okay? God, I love you. And what you did today? Made me love you even more. I know you probably don't want to hear this, you don't want me to ruin our friendship, and I get it, I do. But, right now, all I wanna do is protect you, and let you know that you're really not the monster that you think you are."

She stayed silent. What could she say? Her head was swimming with ideas, but none of them really seemed fit. She thought that, if this day ever came, if somehow it came down to confessing her feelings for him, she'd know exactly what to say.

She really couldn't have been more wrong.

So, instead of speaking, she found herself simply staring at Bucky, into his eyes. Had he moved closer? Had she? Either way, their noses were soon bumping together and he was searching her face for any sign of disapproval, one that wasn't there, and so he kissed her.

She felt dizzy, lightheaded, like she couldn't quite figure out where her body ended and Bucky's began, and she didn't think she really wanted to. Lips on lips, his hand on her waist and hers roaming his hair, it felt like heaven.

She was on a high, he was too, and the comedown was breathless and just as euphoric as the real thing. "I love you too." Y/N said.

Bucky couldn't help the plainly stupid, goofy grin that had spread across his face. Did he look like an idiot? Unequivocally. Did he care? Maybe, but that wasn't the point.

"I should get back to my room." Y/N said quietly, a small smile on her lips. "Thanks for...uh, the talk."

Bucky laughed and let her get up, walk to the door and open it while he watched in a daze, and then he stopped her. "Let me walk you."

"I can handle myself."

"Oh, I know, sweetheart. But I'm not entirely sure that you should."

Really, she was already his girl. She always had been.

[tundrainafrica]

Hi, after reading about 'why you think Levi and Hange are perfect together', and seeing your reasons quite similar to mine..I just want to ask if you have any opinions on Zutara?

I'm just very curious in what you have to say. It's okay if you don't want to answer.

Thank you for the ask anon! I’d be happy to give you my opinion on Zutara, so happy that you’re gonna be dealing with another long rant with probably a lot of rambling in between. Anyway, Lezzgo.

As always: 

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

So, to give you some background on my love for ATLA, I first watched it in middle school when I came out and yes, I was a basic bitch. So basic, that I would always pair the hottest guy with the first person I saw him have potential sexual tension with, hence came Zutara and in 2013 when AOT came out Rivetra.

I grew up. Things changed but ATLA remains a masterpiece and through the years I have watched it countless times especially when I encounter people who have never watched it because YO, That show is literally one of the best examples of good writing and world building and more importantly, how to write a good ending (which so many people manage to fuck up? I’m looking at u D&D =_=). For anyone who hasn’t watched ATLA please give it a try.

As I grew up, my two favorite pairings became Sokka x Suki and Sokka x Toph. Canon was fine but I would have wanted to see the other ship sail too :/. But yeah, this is about Zutara so will answer that. 

If I ranked my current pairings: Sokka x Suki and Sokka x Toph are tied for first and second and I would put Zutara at third because that pairing still holds a special place in my heart. 

Would I have wanted Zutara to be canon over Kataang? 

Yes. I would. I still would have wholeheartedly picked Zutara over Kataang for so many reasons. (I have not watched the show in a while so a lot of my shit might be inaccurate but feel free to correct me.)

Okay, so first things first, two of the best written characters in the show for me were definitely Zuko and Katara from a character development sense. My favorite character is Toph and Sokka as second but I found Zuko and Katara to be incredibly profound characters with very blatant yet very well written developments which all culminated into one scene: THE ONE IN THE FUCKING CAVERN. 

Their particular hate (or is it tension, can’t think of the right word) for each other was strong but the thing is, the emotion was already there. It’s much harder to build emotional investment (even love) from nothing than to build emotion from what already existed. Katara so easily channelled that hate into actual care because she was so emotionally invested in Zuko as a person already having spent the whole first season being chased by a crazed him. Like yo, from shitting on him in the cavern to suddenly thinking, hey this guy who tried to kill us the past season changed, let me use my very rare magic water on him to help heal his scar. It sounds weird writing it out but personally, I thought that development in the cavern was more well written than the whole Kataang plotline IMO. 

And yeah, they only show you how fucking magical that water is by bringing a dead Aang to life with it at the end of the season. AND SHE WAS PLANNING ON USING IT FOR ZUKO TO HEAL HIS SCAR. Like wow, that’s some emotional investment. 

Okay, I know this can pretty much be justified by Katara being motherly and just an emotional being so let’s not get into that, let’s just get into the potential of this dam ship. Because, as an ATLA fan, personally, the shipping potential of Zuko and Katara was outstanding and I really felt blue balled to see Katara and Aang kiss at the end of it. 

Like literally Kataang was just too easy and the kiss kinda came out of nowhere?

The Katara and Aang romantic plotline was so easy, literally the first time we see any possible attraction between the two was ten episodes in when Aang blushed about the necklace he gave her. Here’s the thing I didn’t really like though, I found Kataang shoddily developed. The plotline between Aang and Katara seemed so one sided. All the way until season 3 with the ember island players episode, I was caught on to believe that the romance between Aang and Katara was one sided then they just bam, kiss at the end of the show

Zutara would have offered more development for both characters.

And anyway, what I really mourn aside from the shoddily developed plotline of Kataang is the lost potential of that damn ship. Zuko brought out an edgy side of Katara. I mean can we appreciate the part in the Southern Raiders episode were Zuko was the only who made the effort to understand what was bothering Katara? 

The scenes between Zuko and Katara had more emotion on them? Literally, Katara had Zuko-exclusive interactions. She said things she’d only say to Zuko. Zuko really brought out a part of her than no other character has?

Like sure people say shit like, Katara cried when Aang died. But I had interpreted a lot of those as motherly. And the creators literally slapped us with a similar Zutara scene at the end of the show? Like Zuko wasn’t dead but Katara was still crying her fucking eyes out.

Also, Katara’s interactions with Aang were not so different from how she interacted with everyone else. They were all motherly. They were all caring. You could have literally slapped another character in most of those scenes and it would have still made fucking sense.

Her actions with Zuko felt more like they were only for Zuko and that’s why I liked it so much. They had so much shit they could have gotten sorted out and it could have culminated into such a good relationship compared to what we got in canon?

Yeah, but after spending months ranting about how Levihan a best friends to lovers relationship became the pinnacle of perfection for me, some people might be wondering why the hell I love the enemy to lovers Zutara. 

Zutara was not unrealistic. It was not toxic. Zuko and Katara are both genuinely good people just working for the betterment of their loved ones and of the world. They had strong feelings they had to get sorted out between them and they had both proven to be characters willing to learn, change and grow which would have made the slow burn potential realistic.

Although Levi and Hange developed from best friends, I am sure before they became best friends they were definitely enemies. If not enemies, they fought and bantered enough with each other at least to see that there were a lot of feelings to be sorted out between them which is one of the reasons I love Levihan so much in the first place. Like people only gain so much patience for love ones if they spend a good amount of time sorting out feelings right? And I really think that the tension needs to exist for a good foundation.

The differences between Zuko and Katara’s characters and the feelings that would have had to be sorted out between them would have been such a good foundation to a good relationship and damn, the ending blue balled me so much. Just writing this brings back the strong feeling of disappointment from ten years ago and I had to go into shipping Sokka and Suki instead. 

Thanks for the question though anon, it was fun to consider this <3

[sheikah]

How do u think the show will handle Alina’s character. The way I interpreted it, the whole plot of TGT was a twist on the chosen one trope. She was the chosen one but unlike other popular chosen ones, I felt like she never truly loved her power. She just wanted to be free and happy, which is totally fair. She was forced to use her power to save the world but at the end of it all she wanted was to be left alone. I think Leigh didn’t do the best job of this trope but I think that’s what she intended. I wonder if the show will do this trope better or make Alina embrace her power which IMO changes her character, or at least my interpretation of her.

This is a great question, because I think different interpretations of how Alina feels about her power really change how one views her character. Personally, I think Alina started the series just wanting to be left alone and not embracing her power. But I think that over time she did grow to embrace it. I pulled out a lot of book quotes under the cut, because I am very emotionally invested in ambitious/power-hungry Alina haha.

So I think it starts in S&S when she gets the sea whip amplifier and can feel and enjoy the way it adds to her power, but it isn’t really something she acknowledges until the end when she tricks the Darkling. When she uses his power, we’re in her head, getting her thoughts. It isn’t just about her manipulating him. Yeah, she’s doing what she needs to do, but she likes it:

This was not the way he'd touched me in my visions, when he'd come to me as shadow. This was real, and I could drown in it. Power flowed through me--the power of the stag, its strong heart beating in both our bodies, the life he'd taken, the life I tried to save. But I also felt the Darkling's power, the power of the Black Heretic, the power of the Fold.

Like calls to like. I'd sensed it when the Hummingbird entered the Unsea, but I'd been too afraid to embrace it. This time, I didn't fight. I let go of my fear, my guilt, my shame. There was darkness inside of me. He had put it there, and I would no longer deny it. The volcra, the nichevo'ya, they were my monsters, all of them. And he was my monster, too.

This was the beginning, I guess, but there are way more instances in R&R when Alina ponders on her own lust for power. 

Gradually, she is willing to admit, both to herself and others, that it isn’t just about beating the Darkling, she wants the firebird and the power of the third amplifier:

I wasn't sure what was driving me, if it was my need for vengeance or something higher, if it was hunger for the firebird.

.

.

Baghra's hand shot out. With surprising accuracy, she seized my wrist.

"Put your hunger aside, Alina. Do what Morozova and my son could not and give this up."

My cheeks were wet with tears. I hurt for her. I hurt for her son. But even so, I knew what my answer would be.

"I can't."

He'd killed animals and then brought them back to life, sometimes repeatedly, delving deeper into merzost, creation, the power of life over death, trying to find a way to create amplifiers that might be used together. It was forbidden power, but I knew its temptation, and I shuddered to think that pursuing it had driven him mad.

.

"I won't deny it. I want the firebird. I want the amplifiers' combined power."

.

"It doesn't matter why I'm using the Cut, what I'm doing with the power. It always feels good."

Eventually, she realizes Mal is an amplifier, but still wants the power his death could provide:

I had the sense of a door swinging open, and all I wanted was to step through--this taste of perfect, gleaming elation was nothing compared to what lay on the other side. I forgot where I was, forgot everything but the need to cross that threshold, to claim that power ... The burn of power was almost unendurable, a dull whine that filled my head. My heart beat so hard I thought I might not survive it. I needed to walk through that door ... I wanted to blot out this knowledge, carve it from my skull, because I hungered for the power that lay beyond that golden door, desired it with a kind of pure and aching fever that made me want to tear at my skin. The price for that power would be Mal's life.

There are also the iconic scenes with the Darkling when she realizes that she’s drawn to power the same way that he is:

.

"You were meant to be my balance, Alina. You are the only one who might keep my power in check."

"And who will balance me?" The words emerged before I thought better of them, giving raw voice to a thought that haunted me even more than the possibility that the firebird didn't exist. "What if I'm no better than you? What if instead of stopping you, I'm just another avalanche?"

I include all these because I don’t think book!Alina wanted to be left alone and powerless at all. It’s one of the big problems I have with the ending of R&R. Alina didn’t willingly sacrifice her power. She sacrificed Mal (albeit at great personal cost and with a lot of grief) for the power of the third amplifier. But when that power went to create other Sun Summoners, it was a surprise. She didn’t anticipate it, and didn’t want it. And while the ending is a happy one and I’m sure Alina and Mal are perfectly happy at Keramzin living a normal life, there’s always this passage about Alina mourning the loss of her powers that haunts me a little bit:

“You might make me a better man.”

“And you might make me a monster.”

The boy and the girl had both known loss, and their grief did not leave them. Sometimes he would find her standing by a window, fingers playing in the beams of sunlight that streamed through the glass.

So, to finally answer your question, I actually personally interpret book!Alina as having embraced and wanted her power, but I think the show will characterize Alina in much the way you said. Alina will be the reluctant Chosen One. She will be humble and do her duty to save Ravka, but in a way befitting Sankta Alina. I don’t think we’re going to get glimpses of Alina reveling in her power or the prospect of dark!Alina. I wish we would! But we most likely won’t have a first-person POV or voiceover showing her thoughts to show us these inner conflicts, and even if we did, I anticipate a change in the writing/story that will mean a change in Alina as well. 

Archie is in every episode of season one. At least, he’s credited for all of the episodes on IMDb. If that holds up when the show actually airs, it means significant changes in Mal’s inclusion in the story (because Mal is hardly in most of S&B) and thus the Mal/Alina relationship. And the biggest thing holding Alina back from embracing her powers has always been Mal. She loved him and her life at Keramzin so she suppressed her powers when the examiners came as a child because subconsciously she didn't want to leave him. Then after her powers were revealed she and Mal fought about them. Her status as the Sun Summoner was the biggest conflict in their relationship. It made Mal feel like she didn’t need him, and Alina even says that while the people wanted her to be a “Grisha queen,” “Mal wanted a commoner queen.” And there are a bunch of examples of similar sentiments from when they argue. So if the show is going to have more Mal/Alina, which I suspect it will because Leigh wants to change fandom perspective on her preferred and endgame ship (and because Leigh said in one of her instagram live sessions that she thinks Archie’s portrayal is going to win over people who aren’t fans of Mal), I imagine there will be less ambitious Alina, for better or for worse.

[watchtower-feed]

Death Do We Part (Part 8)

SSA Spin-off ✧ Jason Todd ✧ Physical Link ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧ Notes: Oh boy. This part and the next were supposed to be just one part. At the end of this fic, I’ll have enough words for a freaking novel! Please, though, tell me what you think of the story! Loving and violent reactions are welcome. Words: 2,800+

    You’re startled. You quickly scan the property for any movement but you just miss the figure retreating into the distance. Back into Gotham City.

     As soon as they get back to the cave, you’re waiting for them on your toes. “He was here!” you shout frantically. “He was at the manor!” You hover over them until they’re running towards the monitor where you have all of the surveillance cameras up and running.

     You all watch silently, hands leaning on the desk, eyes straining for the slightest movement in the darkness.

     “There he is!” you point at the camera placed directly in front of Jason’s room. Alfred replays the video like he has for the hundredth time that night. You wait as they watch the seemingly boring video, and then there it was, the slightest movement of the tip of a nearby hedge nearly off-camera, as if someone passed through it.

     “Are you sure it’s not the wind?” Dick asks in a serious tone. He believes you but he wants the details. Needs them before he brings his hopes up.

     You nod. “I knew something was different tonight. At the time I wasn’t feeling different temperatures. And I could hear…”

     “You could hear?” Tim tries to prompt you to keep going. What’s the point of keeping secrets now when it’s what got everyone in this mess in the first place?

     “I was talking to myself-- talking to Jason-- like I do every night. And I could almost hear myself in my own ears--”

     “Like he was listening to you,” Bruce interrupts, eyes wide.

     “That means he’s in Gotham! He was here! At the manor!” Dick says excitedly.

     You suddenly frown, making all three of them stare at you. “He was.”

     Alfred sighs, “That’s what Y/N has been trying to tell you, master Bruce. Before we came down to the cave, Y/N felt seasick again.”

     The sudden news greatly diminishes their spirit. Bruce wanted to be angry. He wanted to scold you and Alfred for not telling them about this sooner. Instead, Bruce turns around and enters the bat plane again, leaving his two partners behind. You know where he’s going. You know Bruce is going to spend all night tracking every boat, every ship, and every yacht that left Gotham docks until he finds Jason.

     But you also know he won’t find him. You’ve been at this for a year but it’s becoming very clear that you’ll only find Jason if he wants to be found. And maybe that’s for the best.

     In the meantime, your new life has to keep going, or in your case, it has to start.

     “Being dead for two years and a ghost for another has nothing to do with your education, Y/N,” Alfred argues with you for the tenth time this month, “We’re enrolling you into Gotham University. You start next week.”

     “Next week? That’s too soon!”

     Tim is the same age as you and Jason, biologically, but you always argue that you’re older than him and death just held you back two years. It bothers you that you’re both going to be freshmen at Gotham U but Tim is going to leave you three semesters behind.

     Tim chuckles, “You’ve been hiding in the manor for too long. It’s time to re-introduce you back into society, Y/N.”

     “Ew. You’re starting to sound like Dick.” 

     “Hey!” Dick yells out as he enters the kitchen. 

     Ever since Jason ran away from Gotham, you’ve gotten closer to Dick and Tim. You use each other to keep Jason’s presence alive, telling each other stories about him while Tim listens and chimes in whenever familiar Jason-Robin stories would come up. At some point, you stopped talking about Jason and just told each other about what life was like before. With friends. Your family.

     You decided not to return to your own family. You knew one day Bruce or Alfred would ask you but you prepared yourself to say no. Your family and friends have already mourned for you. Given what your life is now and who it’s linked to, you don’t want them to have to experience that kind of heartbreak again.

     “Welcome to Gotham University, Robin Wayne. Hmm,” The sophomore in charge of freshman orientation has set her sights on you and Tim, being Waynes and all. “Bruce can’t seem to stay in a stable relationship for more than a month but he sure does like to adopt kids.”

     “I’m 18,” you say frankly, trying to get this moving along.

     Tim snickers beside you. It was his and Dick’s bright idea to choose your name for you. They both think it’s a great inside joke but you think all that crime-fighting has seriously messed up their sense of humor.

     You’re thankful though that they don’t really call you that. They still call you by your real name.

     College and your new identity aren’t about starting a new life and closing the old one. Robin is your identity to the outside world and Y/N L/N is your secret identity. Much like how Robin is to Tim and Nightwing is to Dick and… Batman is to Bruce Wayne.

     Bruce.

     He’s the one who’s taking Jason’s absence much harder than all of you. He disappears all night doing his usual routine of keeping the city safe and then spends any downtime looking for any trace of Jason in Gotham or anywhere else in the world.

     He would catch you by surprise every now and then, asking you if you’ve felt anything about Jason. Anything at all. A change in temperature. The direction in the wind. Sudden hunger. And you always shake your head sadly.

     You actually saw Jason that night. You vividly saw his shadow leap over the property and back into Gotham. It took everything in you to not run after your soulmate.

     You didn’t tell Alfred or Bruce or anyone because you wanted to give Jason time to get away. If he heard you that night, you hope he followed your advice. That he’s living a better life and this time you won’t let Bruce mess it up.

     Even though you don’t talk about Jason as much, to Tim and Dick the search for Jason continues as well. At least once a week, they would join Bruce in his search and they always ask you to join them.

     They’re not forcing you to do it. You can say no if you don’t want to. But how will that look? Everyone wants Jason back except for you, the one person who can actually find him and knows where he is.

     You feel it. You feel the familiar wind in your hair and the flying sand in your face. You know he’s back at the fortress and it makes you angry. You thought he would choose a better life so why is he back there?

     But of course, whenever Tim or Dick asks you, you lie.

     “I haven’t felt anything new. It’s like he’s gone completely radio silent on me or something.”

     Tim chuckles and teases, “That’s not what radio silence means.”

     You roll your eyes. “Shut up,” you joke back.

     Dick stares at the two of you and then leans in close with a smirk, “What’s this? What’s going on here?”

     “Nothing!” you both snap at Dick. You shove him but it doesn’t really do anything. Regardless, he fakes being hurt to appease your feelings which only makes you more frustrated.

     Partly, because he’s right. After being sensitive to another person’s every sense and feeling, you’ve become adept at reading people. You know that Tim has been spending more time with you than Dick has and he always tries to talk to you about almost anything.

     You’re also aware that your body seems to find every excuse it can to touch Tim, to be close to him.

     And even more so, you’re aware that nothing can ever happen between the two of you.

     Tim is Jason’s replacement. Jason is your soulmate. The very existence of Tim in your life is due to the fact that Jason is your soulmate. You can’t even look at Tim without looking for a single trait of Jason’s, a sign that he’s the one standing in front of you.

     So then why? Why are you lying next to each other in the garden, staring up at the stars, sharing a blanket, and fingers twitching to touch the other? 

     You’re just talking about being Robin, the crime-fighting Robin that soars the Gotham skyline alongside the dark knight. You’re exasperated by the idea that the three of them would want to endanger their lives every single night.

     Tim half-agrees that you’re right and then he tells you about Batman’s training, how in-depth it is, and accurate, that it’s what keeps him going out there. Tim knows that the three of them never did it for the glory or the fame and infamy. Speaking on Jason and Dick’s behalf, Tim tells you that it was all about being able to stand next to Batman and help him in his mission to save the city.

     You listen in awe because you never thought of it that way. Boys. Children. Putting themselves on the front line for Batman. The savior of Gotham City. 

     You look at Tim and say, “He’s lucky to have you.” Then you look up again. “Gotham should really appreciate you more. Maybe a Robin signal would be just the thing,” you chuckle and Tim does too.

     But it’s quiet now. All you can hear is your breathing and Tim’s breathing. You turn to the side again, hoping to start another conversation, but you find Tim is looking at you as well. You watch as a red shade grows on his cheeks and his eyes dart away from your gaze.

     He’s surprised to find that you’re still staring at him when he looks back. Slowly and gently, Tim raises his head so he can lean down close to you but he stops only an inch from your lips, waiting and hoping for you to close the gap, to decide for yourself.

     You can feel his short breaths on your lips and you close your eyes before you lean in. His lips are soft and small. Neither of you move and it’s over so soon. Tim’s smiling and the redness on his face has gone up to the tips of his ears.

     “You’re so red,” you tease happily.

     Tim’s flustered but he teases back, “So are you, Y/N! You’re like a beetroot!”

     You laugh and smile. 

     Tim holds your hand when he walks you back to your room. He holds your fingers together while you walk side by side. There’s a warmth to them you can’t deny. You’re smiling the whole time and even you can feel the redness traveling to your ears.

     Tim walks you to your door and says goodnight. You wait for him to enter his own room before you close your door. You lie down on the bed and sleep comes to you easier than it ever has this past year.

     In the morning, you wake up with your name written on your arm.

     Y/N.

     Suddenly you can smell the scent of your bed and it smells like Jason. Everywhere you look you see every single item Jason has touched. You see his clothes peeking from the open door of your wardrobe. You see his picture on your nightstand.

     You feel sick to your stomach and you vomit on the floor. You’re crying as you’re heaving out acid yet again. Why? Why now? Why do you get to feel guilty over a kiss when Jason had sex with Talia? Why do you feel betrayed and guilty at the same time?

     “This isn’t fair, Jason!”

     Your sobs and retching start getting louder. Bruce quickly enters the room, followed by Tim and Alfred. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” Bruce asks and you know he’s not asking for you. He’s asking for Jason which makes you cry harder.

     “Get out!” you scream at them, making everyone flinch at the shrillness of your voice.

     “Y/N…” you know Tim is about to place his hands on your back and you quickly snap and slap his hand away.

     You glare at the ground, “Don’t touch me.” You refuse to look at the hurt expression on Tim’s face. But he sees the newly written mark on your arm. Defeated, Bruce gently leads him out of the room. 

     “Y/N,” Alfred’s stern voice gets through to you. You know you did something extremely wrong. You know it before you even did it. “One day you will come to understand that we are trying to help you. We care for you. Not just for master Jason, but you as well.”

     You wait until Alfred closes the door behind him before you crumple back onto the bed. You keep crying and massaging your coarse throat while staring at your name written on your arm.

     Jason never does write anything else. He also never rubbed off your name on his arm. You would stare at it and touch it every night and wonder why he wrote it.

     Absentmindedly, you would even touch it during the day. Tim sees you doing it during a lecture and you’re aware enough to turn and see the look of shock and then anguish pass over his face before it became stoic.

     You stop talking to Tim completely after that and you even find yourself distancing yourself from Dick. An easy feat considering, he’s only at the manor once a week. But you could never keep yourself away from Alfred. He wants you to apologize to Tim but you can’t, not just yet. And you know Tim doesn’t want that at the moment.

     You spend most of your time in the cave again. This time you’re actually helping Bruce find Jason.

     “I checked the fortress. There was no one there. Not a single assassin,” Bruce relays it to you over the comm while he’s in the bat plane.

     “How about the sacred city? I sensed the same feelings from the fortress. That might be the only other place Jason is familiar with.”

     “On my way now.”

     You wait and you watch but deep down you already know he’s not going to find him there. It has been a week since you last felt that, another week before you finally decided to help Bruce. But you didn’t feel seasick afterward so maybe Jason hasn’t gone far.

     “Still no sign of him, Y/N. Any other ideas?”

     “Any other cities in the area?”

     “Not for hundreds of miles.”

     You sigh and fold your knees close to your chest, “Come back, Batman. Let’s call it a night.”

     You’ve been spending a lot more time with Bruce at night and he doesn’t question you about it. The only things you talk about are the missions and Jason. Every little thing you feel, you try to relay to Bruce but you don’t really come up with anything useful. Nevertheless, Bruce always checks out your suggestions.

     “That’s the last of the League’s fortresses.”

     “And still no Jason.”

     “Hn,” Bruce grunts, “maybe. But it is a little odd,” he looks at the monitor, almost like he was talking to himself. “Every single fortress was empty and turned into rubble. It’s almost like someone’s been methodically attacking every known base of the League.”

     “You think someone has it out for them-- You think Jason is doing this?”

     Bruce looks at you, “Other than the weather and the environment, do you feel anything different about your body? Things you wouldn’t be feeling in relation to your own activities.”

     You think about it for a while. But your first thought is how strange it is that you would’ve lashed out at such a question just last month.

     “My body is still always fatigued even though I’m barely exercising. I feel them more on my arms, too.”

     “How about now?”

     Now you close your eyes and you numb your senses to your own body. You can feel an even steady wind hitting you in the face and noise coming from where the wind is coming from. “I feel a fan…” The wind isn’t that strong or the noise too loud but you’re disappointed to find out that that’s all you feel. “That’s it.”

     “Strange.” Bruce is already looking at the monitor. His elbows on the desk while his hands hold up his chin. “These past few weeks, whenever you try to tune in to Jason’s feelings, you always come up with nothing. But he’s obviously up to something.”

     You try to run through all of the implications in your head and only come up with one thing. “Do you think he found a way to figure out when I’m tuning in? And turns off his own senses?”

     Bruce turns around, eyes narrow. He stares at your worried face for a second before he puts on a pensive expression. “It’s not impossible.”

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��� Watchtower Masterlist ✧

[yanderefoeyay]

First of all like everything he does Ducktor relationships at 900 miles per hour

Like he’d steal an entire flower shop and opera to drop them of your doorstep, he balls hard ok

Pet names:

Ducktor: Every pet name ever Gyro wonders how he’d even remember his name if other people didn’t call him it, he would swear he was named darling or something at birth

Gyro: Simple but sweet like the man himself, uses love muffin the most tho, cause it’s funny and he swears Ducktor secretly likes it

Confesses first:

Ducktor: Realises he likes Gyro first but is at his wits end about it! Love is a weakness and he’s to grand to be smitten with that oblivious cute scientist. Basically he a board on his wall like that IASIP guy meme with plans on how to ask him out. After many sleepless nights he just makes a little rocket ship that pops out a little message in Gyros face that says “I really like you please give a chance”

Gyro: For a genius he’s about as oblivious as a man whose eating cereal while his house is on fire. Did think Ducktor was flirting with him as a joke, to mock him, then boom he’s getting asked out. Surprise 🎉

Spoons:

Ducktor is clingy AF, Gyro is cuddle suffocated

Gifts/Favours:

Ducktor will get Gyro the most extravagant gifts he’s ever seen, then Gyro will ask where he got the money, Ducktor starts sweating and says he sold an invention to someone. Gyro thinks well as long as it’s not stolen that’s good. Yeah Gyro doesn’t have to know it was sold to an arms dealer, that’s private info.

Gyro is canonly the favour king 👑!! But tries not to over due it cause Ducktor gets crazy protective about it, one time he accepted 4 favours in one day, and a 5th person came around and almost got insinerated by a lazer.

Dates:

Equal on both Formal and Casual, whilst Ducktor dosent like the suit and tie deal, he want to treat Gyro to the BEST, anyone worthy of his time and affection deserves nothing less. Gyro likes to show Ducktor all the best astrometry viewing spots in town and they take picnics and talk about all sorts, feeling comfort knowing anything they say the other will understand. And Gyros gotta admit it’s nice having an intellectual peer he can bounce ideas off.

Introverted/Extraverted

Ducktor: The most flamboyant most extra person in existence probably, loud and proud. Only hides inside to not be bothered by the cops/Papernik and to build inventions for vengeance

Gyro: Is really friendly and equally makes friends easily, gets used a bit to often by some people though. Prefers to stay inside but dosent mind going out to hang with donald, who Ducktor dosent like for some weird reason, and others.

Affection:

Ducktor: Would kill for Gyro, and if he succeeded he would do it again. That’s an affection action for him, protecting the only person you care about from users. But he also does cuter less horrific things for him, he preens gyro and tries to be as nice as possible to lil helper (omg is this our child now, am I dad? Internal crisis) and bakes him treats. Loves serenading Gyro too (and haha dirty talk)

Gyro: As I said Gyro is the gift that keeps on giving, he’d always doing little things for Ducktor, like putting a blanket over Ducktor if he falls asleep at his work bench, giving him shoulder rubs when he’s worked too hard (with those strong mechanic hands) and leaves him little notes and treats to show he thinks and cares about him. Get you a man like Gyro.

Carefree/serious

Ducktor: Normally a chill but narcissistic dude until you piss him off and then he’s out full on out for blood

Gyro: Serious when he’s helping his friends but 99% the most relaxed guy ever, could probably spill soup in his lap and he’d say sorry

Affectionate alone or out

Ducktor: is a complex case hence the question marks, he dosent really like showing affection in public cause it shows he cares about someone, supervillians don’t care about someone it’s shameful, but damn he just has those days where he’s super over the top affectionate all day, holding hands, showering compliments, the works, he must be in an estastic mood for this though. Now on the other hand, he’s the most jealous person EVER, WTF that lady just flirted with you PDA MAX, he just immediately kisses Gyro and sweeps him up bridal style whilst making direct eye contact with said lady, mouths “screw you” and walk off, Gyro still in his arms. Will most like hunt them down later and throw wacky putty in their face.

Gyro: Gets all blushy public so prefers it in private, lots of soft cheek kisses and Eskimo beaks kisses and hand holding. Cuddling under a blanket with Ducktor while they watch a movie and Ducktor complains about the scientific inaccuracies. That being said he does like making Ducktor flustered sometimes. Once they were on a double lunch date with Donald and Daisy, Ducktor didn’t like Donald from the moment they met, said he reminds him of someone, Donald was the same, probably cause a known criminal was dating his friend. They were throwing quips at one another and Donald said something about Papernik and Ducktor was about to leap over the table and throttle him when Gyro quickly grabbed him hand under the table and held it, brushing his thumb over the others knuckles. Ducktor stalled physically and mentally, Daisy did something similar to calm her own hothead, the date was saved for now atleast.

Slow burn/love at first sight

Ducktor: Always has been violently protective of Gyro since he was first created by the ego machine, the closest emotion he had to caring about someone, he did always think Gyro was handsome though, they were identical and he damn well knew he himself was hot as hell. Proper feeling developed along the way, especially all the days/nights they were alone together with Gyro as his hostage, they talked and got to know each other better, especially cause Ducktor was a chatter box.

Gyro: Definitely developed feeling slower cause this is a freaking evil version of yourself that’s a crazed supervillian, that’s multiple levels of weird. A weirdness onion. Gave Ducktor a chance after the other did some things to help him and gained his trust, everyone deserves a seventh chance right? And this was a version of him and so maybe deep down they was some good in him after all? Man how the heck was he gonna explain this to Scrooge, Donald and Papernik though? Holy cow...

Texts/Emoji Spam

Ducktor: Pure Damn Gibberish! Just memes sent on mass, no actual words just 20 heart emojis and a clown with a crown next to an eggplant, Gyro can friggin translate hieroglyphics but not that shit

Gyro: Texts like a Dad, full sentences or stuff like ‘wat u up 2’, it’s makes Ducktor cringe, is he dating a damn Nokia user?

Clothes

Ducktor: Him and Gyro are the exact same measurements and Fuck laundry, Gyros closet is mine now

Gyro: Would not be seen dead in Ducktors clothes, he dresses like Guy Fieri

[insertdisc5]

homestuck epilogues stuff

thoughts about the homestuck epilogues, as in, spoilers and theories and things ive noticed by reading it over twice and talking with friend @kravicle while they were reading

this is just a list of theories me and krav came up with ok. also stuff u might not pick up in only one read? we’re just spitballing here 

MEAT AND CANDY TEREZI ARE PROBABLY ONE AND THE SAME

> just didnt see proof they weren't the same lmao, we only get john+terezi's messages from both timelines and she could have gotten messages from both meat!john and candy!john

>time is fucked on her end also so (shrugs)

>(terezi meeting meat!john) "something else is different about him. different, somehow, from how she thought he’d be when she imagined they’d next meet. under all the gore, he smells... too fresh."

>TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: YOU SM3LL OLD3R

TEREZI: BUT NOT 4S OLD 4S 1 THOUGHT YOUD B3

JOHN: what does that mean?

TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T

>"In multiple realities, all [John] wanted for her was this. To be home safe, with all their friends. And now that she’s here, she’s lost."

> (meeting Meat!roxy) "Terezi’s head is filled with stories about a different version of Roxy—the polar opposite of the one standing in front of her."

DIRK’S PLAN PART 1 (free will)

>maybe plans to get Actual Free Will thru ultimate godhood??? also explains why he feels okay with removing free will from his friends- for him, this isnt real free will anyway?

>(dirk talking about kanaya) "What WAS she thinking? What are any of us thinking, really? Who’s doing the thinking, and who’s having the thoughts?

The more you study the question, the more it seems all concrete forms of accountability go up in smoke. Her original thoughts were never that important, and the significance of the idea that she was the one authoring them was always a bit overrated. My mission is to someday clear this all up for everyone. Remove the ambiguity, suck the mud out of the water. It’ll be a lot better that way, trust me."

>to old callie, dirk's plan "[john’s] ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality."

>although narrator callie thinks this world has some sort of actual free will. says "[john should kiss terezi etc]. it’s wrong to contradict one’s true thoughts and feelings. irrational. unbecoming of an existence governed by free will."

>his plan to give everyone/ultimate gods “free will” will end up destroying canon????

DIRK’S PLAN PART 2 (complacency of the learned, ultimate self)

>complacency of the learned, 12 people attaining ultimate knowledge (=ultimate self), and turning "either insane or evil"

> (candy ending, rose’s POV) "The thoughts in her powerful brain race. What will they name the planet? How long will it take for the ship to arrive? Once the new race has established an advanced enough civilization thousands of years from now, who will the lucky kids be? The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?" 

>finding more people to attain ultimate godhood???

>dirk asks terezi to come with him and rose at the end of meat, along with john's body (implied that she did accept-callie!jade points and dave thinks she points both to dirk+rose and john+terezi, callie doesnt prove him otherwise)

>dirk wants 12 ultimate gods for each aspect????

>"If your perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God."

- (callie speaking) "[John] is simply being barred from ignoring his true thoughts. even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life."

>callie is probably an ultimate god, terezi should be?? with rem8mb8r?

DIRK’S NARRATOR STUFF

>dirk probably doesnt know hes in a story/that he has an audience (us) "How can I respect a fucking pronoun when nobody can even hear me?”

>does dirk control people by using you-ness? using 2nd person to control, 3rd person to narrate?

>”JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.”

CANDY TIMELINE STUFF

>part of the black hole, a utopia, place removed from reality/canon in some way??? WEIRDO DREAM BUBBLE????

>cut off from canon in some way- dirk and rose cant get to ultimate godhood anymore, john cant use retcon powers

>candy!john mentions multiple times he doesnt think of him and his friends as "real"

>sky in candy!timeline described as more vibrant (VS pre-sburb being described as muted)

>candy!karkat talking to sollux and probably being foreshadowing without knowing: “KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE! KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.”

>CALLIOPE: we’re all going to be very, very happy. I trUly believe that. ^u^ 

>ROSE: Oh Kanaya, you’re right.

ROSE: We are going to be so astonishingly happy!

>ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

>Dirk in Meat: "Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection."

>end of meat!callie can see into candy!timeline ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

>obama’s here. god i need a minute

>dirk told gamzee something??? 

“DAVE: wheres dirk

GAMZEE: tHeRe’S nO nEeD tO wOrRy AbOuT hIm. :o)

GAMZEE: YoU’rE gOnNa GeT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu. He ToLd Me ThAt, AnD i’M gOnNa MaKe SuRe HiS wIsH mAkEs LiKe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE aNd GeTs TrUe.

[...]

GAMZEE: YoU dOn’T gOt AnY nEeD tO gO aNd CoNcErN yOuRsElF wItH hIs MoRtAl FlEsH bOdY oUt HeRe In ThIs CaNdYcAnE wHiRlPoOl BeYoNd ThE iNfInItE bLaCk WiNk Of ThE wIcKeD sInGuLaRiTy, My NiNjA.

GAMZEE: a SaCk Of MeAt AnD bOnEs In OnE lIfE oR tHe NeXt Is OnLy A mEaNs To ThE fInAl ToTaLiTy ThAt WiLl DaMn AnD rAiSe Us AlL iN bRiLlIaNt ApOtHeOsIs.

GAMZEE: In ThE oNe TrUe LiFe We AlL fLoW fRoM tHe OnE tRuE pEn,

GAMZEE: aNd EvErY hEaD rOlLs DoWn ThE pAtH tO tHe OnE tRuE hAnD.”

> dirk before killing himself:  “ It is the very last moment of narratively consequential action that will happen in this whole, barren world. “

OTHER STUFF

> dirk teaching men about "combat, philosophy, life, love." (jake, dave, obama, not said explicitly but also probably gamzee????) what is UP with that

>gamzee also wanting to teach kid tavros about combat philosophy life love, “to behave the way a mentor does”

>re: john “Your complete lack of remarkability, specific motivation, drive, opinion on where to direct your own fate—these deficiencies are exactly what made you so useful, so susceptible to being endowed with the you-ness I’ve borrowed to satisfy my purposes.”

>at the end of meat, callie in jade's body in candy timeline kills lord english and gets big powers or whatever. cherub stuff

>terezi gets a text at the end of Meat, we dont know from whom (candy!(vriska)?)

>john left letters for everyone in Meat but no one’s found them yet?

>snapchats were probably before the split 

>this whole post makes both me and krav sound like we’re been talking about this for 24 hours straight (we did)

[jennycalendar]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[twilightofthe]

In celebration of Mutual Acquaintances.. Satine: 5, 6, 7, 8, 28, 31, 42, 47, 48; Obi-Wan: 7, 8, 12, 14, 27, 31, 33, 47, 48; Padmé: 4, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 19, 28, 33, 34, 39, 42; The Disaster Boi: 10, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22, 28, 29, 31, 33 and bc we all need more sexuality headcanons, 13 for ALL of them

Whooo-WEE here we go, thank you!  Get ready for VERY VERY LONG Rambling!

SATINE

(5) Cleanliness habits: Oh, she’s a total neat freak.  Everything in her office is minimalist style and organized to a T.  If someone moved something even an inch, she’ll be hounding everyone about who was messing with her stuff.  Constantly washing hands, very clean, doesn’t like dust on stuff at all (has a bit of a dust allergy, actually.  Lily pollen getting everywhere is a Problem for her).  She’s practical, however, and if she HAS to get down and dirty, she will-- of course not without a suitable amount of icky faces made plus a side of complaints xD

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu: Ok so we’ve got canon showing her eating meat, but don’t tell me Super Pacifism Lady wouldn’t IRL be that one ubervegan friend of yours on Facebook who’s constantly posting weird things about it and you gotta be like “aight Katie chill”.  ANYWAY, so I’d say Satine in canon eats healthy-ish?  She’s not the biggest fan of breakfast foods and is always up in the morning doing stuff, so she sometimes forgets to have anything besides black coffee.  She’s not a particularly picky eater so she’ll eat whatever the cook is serving that day, but she prefers simpler meals, and can cook for herself (which came in handy during the Year On The Run because neither Obi Wan nor Qui Gon can cook for shit (my canon is no one in that line besides Anakin can cook and I’ll die with it) and eventually Satine was like “guys, I’m sorry, but no, u can’t try and protect me and then poison me at dinnertime.  I’ll cook”).  She does like to pair her evening meals with whatever drink she’s having that night.  I also h/c her as a functioning alcoholic, so she’s always got SOMETHING to drink, but she is trying to work on restraint and control because when she was younger it got... Not Good at one point.  She also has a sweet tooth though, and she really likes chocolate!

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Satine is a... twitchy.... individual with a stressful job, so she is kinda conditioned into stressing the heck out if she’s got too much free time.  Therefore, a lot of her free time is spent trying to relax.  Cleaning is theraputic for her, so she does clean (yes, there is a cleaning droid but it is nOT GOOD ENOUGH) when she can.  She likes that Mando sword box game we saw Sabine and Fenn Rau playing in Rebels, it clears her head and lets her practice problem solving.  She likes going for walks too.  She’ll sneak down to the kitchens and just make a bunch of sandwiches.  She does enjoy beautiful things, so I’d say shopping for dresses or browsing art galleries is good too.  I also think she’d be the type to read and write poetry, then save bits she likes.

(8) Indulgences: Look, Satine likes Nice Things, ok?  She does consider fancy wardrobe and buying nice paintings a bit of an indulgence, but she adores color so she excuses that as promoting happiness for the people. As so she does a fancy ship and other fancy trinkets around the house. She’s not a huge fan of most people touching her, but she allowed a massage once... she would be amendable to perhaps another in the future.........  Scented candles are nice too, clears the head.  She refuses to consider chocolate an indulgence because it is obviously the gods’ gift to humanity, excuse you.  Are we calling lusting over her secret forbidden boyfriend an indulgence????

(28) Who is their best friend?  Their worst enemy?  The sad thing about Satine Kryze is that canon wise, she is extremely lonely.  Literally everyone she trusts betrays her at some point-- which also makes worst enemy pretty hard too.  In my verse, this has led to her kind of shutting away from friends because people always leave her-- though I’d say she’s always been close with Padmé; she sent aid to Naboo after the Federation Blockade and got to know and became extremely impressed with the young Queen, and they kept in touch afterwards.  Whether they could be together or not, I’d always say Obi Wan was her best friend too because that’s ALWAYS necessary in a relationship, and they clearly stayed in contact and knew each other like the back of their hands.  I’d honestly say her worst enemy is herself, cliché as it is, because girlie makes a LOT of mistakes-- and then never learns from them or even acknowledges they exist besides an “oh whoops, that happened, we fixed it, everyone as you were”.  I get it wasn’t meant that way, but she legit committed ethnic cleansing against her political opponents.  I hate to say it, but there are very valid reasons for a lot of people to Not Like Her (none of the guys who attack her on the show count because they’re literally all douchecanoes fuck them), and she kind of shoots herself in the foot trying to fix the problem but making it worse.  I h/c her as having a lot of self-loathing problems because she is trying to fix things but nothing ever works and that must be her problem so she must try harder without ever confronting what exactly her problem is.

(31) Most prized possession: Woah, never really thought of that.  As much as I want to say “pressed flower from Obi Wan”, that’s a little too sappy.  I’m going to go with this.  There is a famous Mandalore version of The Art of War, and Satine has an uber-extremely-rare first edition copy given to her from her father, who was a master strategist and had the wealth and power to collect nice things like that.  Satine may be a pacifist, but she has her family’s warrior’s spirit, and she enjoys adapting the book’s battle strategies to her own political fights and how she shapes her own life.  It’s an actual old paper book, so she keeps it in a locked box under her bed and only ever reads it by candlelight with special gloves on to protect the pages.

(42) Hobbies: Like I said before, cleaning, writing poetry, the occasional cooking.  Oh!  Whenever she has Korkie over, she lets them pick the activity they do.  This may or may not lead to Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore getting very invested in Space Mario Kart.  She’s good at it too!  So yes, gamer girl, and she also likes looking at art and she’s also also pretty good at dancing and yoga, which she does a bit of both for exercise.  She also enjoys watching shows at the theater, but she’s weird in the way where she refuses to watch TV or movies because they’re “not as good”.

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal:  I’d say trust is the most important thing for her, given how many things go wrong in her life.  Someone she can trust to be herself around instead of The Duchess and can both support her when she’s falling but also call her on her bullshit (or try to, anyway) when needed.  Again, she likes nice things, so she tends to fall for super attractive people lol.  Another thing is, she likes to feel safe.  She goes for the protectors, those who fight for everyone and can come back and hold her tight in a hug if she feels like she’ll fall apart because she sometimes needs someone to protect her too.  They also have to be as smart as she is (only smarter if they’re not a dick about it) so she can have intellectual conversations (indignant yelling matches), and she needs someone who can match the firecracker she can tend to be, someone who can jump right in after her.  Not a weakling, basically xD

(48) How do they express love: She just says it (”I love you”), if they’ll let her.  If they don’t let her or she can’t for some reason (*coughOBIcoughcough*), she becomes frustrated because she isn’t always the best, emotion-wise, and she worries she’ll make the wrong gesture or do something to mess up, so frustration can build towards the other person so she can also be very snappy at them.  In general though, familial or romantic or platonic, it’s just lots of soft smiles that no one else sees, letting them see her in casual clothing, teasing them or telling jokes, trusting them enough to tell them about the confusion and stress inside her head.

OBI WAN

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time:  Obi Wan is of the opinion that time enjoyed is never wasted, so he only views wasted time as exactly that: time that could be spent doing something but is instead being wasted not doing anything or doing something he doesn’t like.  His favorite things to do when he has time to himself are read (he’s not picky, he’ll read most things with an interesting plot, though he does enjoy a good mystery or historical nonfiction), watch trashy tv shows (he’s only watching them to judge how bad they are, it’s Anakin’s fault, really, he watched them first, and Obi Wan just needs to know what happens next--), sketch random objects (he’s a pretty good artist, and it’s relaxing), do research on stuff because he is a NERD, go bug Anakin and/or Ahsoka because he honestly delights just sitting in their company and hear them talk about their day, drink with friends, spar (with Anakin, preferably, he’s the most of a challenge because he knows him so well, and he’s the only one who doesn’t hold back at all), sit in the Temple gardens and check on Qui Gon’s favorite flowers he planted there and bask in the serenity of it all.

(8) Indulgences: Ooooohhhh this is hard because Obi Wan is so Obi Wan about that sort of stuff, it can be difficult to read what he would do xD  I’ll say he indulges in food?  That while Jedi probs have a pretty strict health food diet, on the weekends or once a weekday he indulges in getting nice stuff for breakfast, ice cream for dessert, fried food at Dex’s because why not, it tastes good and Anakin did a good job today or he did a good job today and that deserves something, so oh well, he’ll just work out harder tomorrow.  He’s also has some very nice old teas he saved from Qui Gon The Absolute Tea Snob he’ll have when he feels he needs it, and he’s got a cabinet with like four bottles of different really good, expensive alcohols that he’ll drink when he REALLY feels he needs it.  I’ll also say this, boi is vain about his hair.  Will never admit it in a million years, but he is, so he’s probs got at least some sort of haircare products that aren’t exactly necessary, ya know xD.  He also does like his creature comforts when available, so I’d say he’s got a couple super fluffy blankets and maybe the thread count in his sheets are a bit higher than average cuz hey, soft things are nice.  He also indulges in being lovey and mushy to the people he cares about 

(12) Favorite book genre: Hey, I kinda talked about that!  So yeah, I’d say he’ll probs try anything, but he likes mysteries and thrillers since with a book the Force can’t give you any Bad Feelings about anyone, so the surprises are genuine surprises.  He also likes historical nonfiction because he is a NERD, but he’ll absolutely pick up whatever’s at the top of the Galactic Times Bestseller’s List if it’s there and give it a chance

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies): His right hip acts up in the cold from an old slug wound there (Anakin does indeed tease him about being an old man), over half of his teeth are fake or replaced because come on, have y’all seen how often he’s been hit in the face?  Scars literally everywhere because everyone and everything has tried to murder him at some point or another.  I h/c him with ADD, depression, anxiety, and dyscalcula (he had to really work to be good with numbers) as well as PTSD because basically all of the Jedi do at some point (someone HELP THEM).  He also has TMJ, which I also have and I project my issues.  It gets worse when you’re stressed and grind teeth, so it’s valid.  Idk whether it’s canon or fanon that he has some food allergies, but I am ALL FOR IT with him just... forgetting about them???  And then eating some food and be like “hwoops I’m dying lol” while Anakin is like seriously Master again? and legit ends up the Mom friend with a list of foods like “is there gonna be this food in it?  Cuz he can’t eat it” and then he’ll eat it anyway cuz it looks good and Anakin is all “what do you have in your MOUTH” and he’ll be like “uh” and yeah, that sounds funny

(27) Biggest regret: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.  ok so we all know how literally everything about Obi Wan’s life is a mcfreaking nightmare.  We ALSO know he blames himself for literally everything.  So yea, he’s got a looooot of regrets.  I’d say his biggest though is not being a good enough Jedi (in his opinion) to save those he cared about (Qui, Satine, Anakin, Pads, the entire dang Jedi Order, etc.).  Maybe just not a good enough person, in his eyes.  If he hadn’t screwed up somehow, everyone would still be here and fine and omg someone help him

(31) Most prized possession: Luke Skywalker.  Ok, not actually, but y’all can’t deny Luke was Obi Wan’s greatest treasure.  I’d say actually tho it’s holos, of people he loves and cares about, in a kind of album he keeps to himself.  He hates having his own picture taken, but he loves seeing the smiling, laughing faces of everyone he knows (and is reminded of them when they’re no longer here).

(33) Concept of home and family: He always feels like other people overcomplicate this.  Home is where you feel safe to always return, where you belong, and family is those you love and wish to spend your life with.  Now, the fact that he only really allows himself to acknowledge the Jedi as a whole as his family and doesn’t exactly allow himself to dwell on specifics like what Anakin means exactly to him, what Ahsoka means, what Qui Gon meant, because he does love everyone as a family, why does he have to define it?  That’s a whole ‘nother basket of his issues lol

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal:  Obi Wan Kenobi has always been attracted to chaos and danger like a moth to a flame, so anyone he loves is gonna be a whirlwind of an individual.  He likes someone who can challenge him, who can test him.  He likes someone who’s loud and bright, the stars at the center of solar systems that everyone else can’t resist orbiting around and Obi Wan is no different.  He likes snappy humor and the amusement he can get from playfully bugging them into hissing at him.  They have to match him as a team, they have to be able to work with him (and he knows he’s not always the easiest to work with) and have his back.  He likes passion, he likes dramatics, he likes the kind of strange ones that other people find a bit hard to get along with, but he couldn’t love them any different from themselves.

(48) How do they express love:

PADMÉ

(4) What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy:  Assuming the people in the kitchen were not making food, Padmé would fix them with a firm Senatorial Scolding Face and ask them politely if they could move it somewhere else.  She can easily outargue any protests;  the kitchen is for cooking and she needs to make dinner!  If ppl were making food in the kitchen, Pads would roll up her sleeves and ask what she could do to help so it would be done faster and she could get started.  She grew up with her mother insisting her and Sola help out with all the household chores, kitchen duty included, so she’s a fine cook.  Anakin learned to cook from his mother too, so sometimes their husband/wife bonding time will include just making dinner together and enjoying each others’ company.  In an OT4 situation with Obes and Satine, Obi Wan is the only one out of the four of them who Cannot Cook and is legit banished from the kitchen except for making drinks/certain desserts, so it ends up with Anakin, Padmé, and Satine all talking and laughing while preparing food while Obi Wan pouts sits in the doorway and talks from there

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu:  Ok, so you know how I said Satine can sometimes get distracted by work and skip breakfast?  Well Padmé is like that but worse.  She gets so busy with duties, she just forgets to eat for very long periods of time, and then she’ll be doing something and be like “woah, I’m hungry, I don’t think I’ve eaten today,” and Sabé/Anakin/Bail/whoever she’s with will just be like padmé nO.  When she does eat, however, she is one of those crazy people who Does Not Like Sweets.  Like, at all, they just don’t agree with her.  Anakin is scandalized.  Satine is scandalized.  Everyone is.  She just doesn’t like them.  She’ll eat fruit, but that’s as sweet as it gets.  So when she does remember to eat, or if she’s going out for a dinner, it’s usually something pretty healthy-- though Pads will confess to a weakness for nice cheeses.  There’s also this one really greasy bad fried chip thing that she’s got a secret weakness for.  Padmé’s also not a huge alcohol person; like, she’ll drink when others do, she’s not a lightweight or anything, but she won’t seek it out herself, just, something about the taste, and she doesn’t like not being in control of her head.

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Honey, Padmé is from Naboo.  The luxury planet.  They know how to lazily waste time in style.  She loves long baths and listening to classical music, walking in nature (she loves flowers), practicing new hair styles, facials and manicures.  She also reads the gossip columns (no she doesn’t, you never heard that) because she needs the tea.  She just do.  She likes to read and study new languages (because she is Queen Overachiever) or just add to her bucket list of Ways To Improve The Galaxy.  Padmé totally has a Space Pinterest.  In reality, she trained herself from a young age how to relax so being a teenager in planetary politics didn’t literally kill her.  

(12) Favorite book genre: ROMANCE!  It’s canon that Pads is just such an ushy, gushy romantic of a person, so she likes stuff like Space Jane Austen and all the other romantic books.  She refuses to associate with Anakin’s trashy dollar romances, she thinks they’re bad writing.  He does not agree.  He also called one of her faves boring once.  They do not discuss books.  But also Padmé likes political history and civilization books cuz politician, and she’s pretty into the mysteries like Obi Wan is.  She likes religious texts too, learning about different ones, she finds it interesting.  Reading can be hard for her because I h/c her as dyslexic, but she loves it too much.

(18) Favorite beverage: Spiced cider.  She could get it homemade back on Naboo; cool and refreshing when iced but warm and tangy and perfect when heated.

(19) What do they think about before falling asleep at night: If Anakin’s not with her, she always thinks about him not being there.  She can’t help it.  If he is with her, she thinks about how much she loves him.  She also tends to do a mental to do list every night of what she needed to do before bed and if she’s gonna allow herself to sleep now or not.  She also has another mental to do list so she knows what she’s gonna do when she wakes up in the morning.  With the damned war dragging on, more and more nights are spent going to bed troubled and worried for the future. She also daydreams, though, of what she can do after.  Her happily ever after.

(28) Who is their best friend?  Their worst enemy?:  This is hard because Pads is so friendly with everyone!!!  Queen’s Shadow really made me fall in love with Padmé and Sabé, but I’ll always be a sucker for the canon and fanon where Padmé’s best friend is Bail Organa.  I’m sorry, but Bail is just a cinnamon roll of a human being, and he’s such a calm, levelheaded friend for Pads where she can be a bit overeager and chomping at the bit sometimes, but he’s also ALWAYS got her back and she can talk to him about stuff and ahhhhh and he literally raises her daughter as his own and gahhhhhh.  Is it messed up if I almost want to say Padmé’s worst enemy is Anakin?  I mean to be more general: her worst enemy is the Sith, as they destroyed the Republic and her entire life’s work and corrupted her husband and depending on if you believe the “draining life forces” theory (which I do) they killed her.  But Anakin was the one who got past her defences, took her by surprise, and unknowingly ended up playing the most active role in her destruction, which is immensely tragic for both of them because all he ever wanted to do was love her (*crying*).

(33) Concept of home and family:  For Padmé, home isn’t so much a place, but an idea of where you can feel closest and most at one with those you’ve decided to share your life with.  Yeah, she’ll always love Naboo, but you saw how choked up she got in that TCW episode where Anakin called her Coruscant apartment “home”; for her, home is a state of mind.  Family is a bit different; she’ll always have a bit of an idealization towards her own parents’ marriage and how she’s seen Sola’s, and how families developed from that.  Canon shows she’s envious because she can’t have that, the 2.5 kids and a dog with a white picket fence outside and a large backyard mentality.  She has issues over being separated from family; she had to drop the Naberrie name to go into politics, so I’m guessing there’s some distance felt there, and she can’t even publicly acknowledge her own husband as her husband, so she’ll cling to the idea of a “perfect” family as a someday, as a maybe, and working towards that someday and the long goal she can forget just how complicated and messy her real family-- her parents and sister, her husband, her husband’s new adoptive sister, her husband’s boyfriend, his weird side of the family --is.  It’s even more pronounced when everything is falling apart in Revenge of the Sith and it’s obviously falling apart and Anakin is obviously Not Fine, she tries to retreat and take her comfort in “oh but when the baby comes and we can be a Family, things will all work out perfect!  It’ll be okay!!!”

(34) Thoughts on privacy (are they a private person, or are they prone to TMI):  Padmé is an extremely private person.  She’s been in the public spotlight since she was thirteen years old.  Everyone’s always staring at her, what she’s wearing, what her opinions are, how she acts, who she’s with.  Padmé has nearly nothing she doesn’t have to share with the public eye, so what she does have to herself she tends to hoard and not show anyone except for those she implicitly trusts.  Now, whether she’s any good at keeping secrets is a whole other story, but she certainly tries!!! xD

(39) What recharges them when they’re feeling drained: Anakin can make things better or worse for her depending on the mood he’s in and the mood she’s in, but he usually makes her feel better just by showing up and being a dork.  She likes her greasy chip snacks and a good book, but she’s a sucker for a good spa day complete with fluffy, comfortable clothing.  Also, Padmé loves cat naps, and is the queen of setting an alarm and taking short power naps that actually have her waking up refreshed.

(42) Hobbies:  Is creating new outfit designs via Space Pinterest a hobby?  Because Padmé does that.  Padmé is also the type of person to have a Space Candy Crush problem, and I completely believe that Satine got her into Space Mario Kart (Satine’s actually pretty good at it and Pads isn’t good at it at all, so it’s in no way fair, but they have fun xD).  Padmé loves creating flower arrangements too, just creating beautiful things makes her happy.  She loves calling one of her handmaidens over and having martial arts practices because she needs to stay ready to defend herself, but also it’s just fun and she’s a good fighter.  Padmé’s also into scrapbooking, she makes a bunch of adorable books she puts together, and she gave one to Anakin on their first anniversary and he cried (she hides them, don’t worry).  

AHHHNAKIN...

(10) Neuroses:  Hooo boy, there’s a lot!  Okay, so Anakin is a very handsy person.  When he’s nervous or uncomfortable or stressed, he’ll always need something to do with his hands, whether that be fiddling with his clothes, tugging at his hair, messing with the digits on his mechanohand, poking at the wall patterns or other objects.  In general, he hates sitting still and has a tendency to fidget if he has to for too long.  He will also either stare you directly in the eye or dislike making eye contact at all, depending on his mood.  Fiddling with machine parts gives him something to focus his mind and his hands on, so that’s a real big help for him if they’re available, often times he just keeps scraps in his pockets for specifically this purpose.  He’s sort of aware he does this, but he doesn’t like to think about it much because that would mean thinking why, and if you try and point any of them out to him he’ll get embarrassed and probs just snap at you.

(12) Favorite book genre:  Anakin really isn’t much of a book person.  It has to do with his focus issues (I h/c him as ADHD), they just aren’t really able to draw him in enough to keep his attention.  It frustrates him because that’s another reason why ppl imply he isn’t smart, which is dumb, he can read just fine, he just doesn’t like to.  He does like the trashy penny romances I mentioned before.  What can he say?  He’s a sucker for the drama and swooning and Epic Proclamations of Love.  He’ll read books about the latest ships and speeder models too, because he’s interested in that.  He’ll also read tactical strategy books too, because of the war and all.  It’s just not his go-to form of entertainment.

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies):  Metal hand.  Eye scar.  At one point is one big giant asthmatic burn scar who’s like 80% robot.  But we’ll focus on Anakin as of now.  When he was a child, some brute in the market cracked him hard across the back with something heavy.  It damaged his spine, and Shmi was terrified for a while he’d never walk.  Thankfully, he recovered, but now his spine is funny as in it is super flexible.  Like backbends where it looks like he’s snapped in half, that flexible.  It gives him fantastic advantages in acrobatics and combat, but it also means he can do that creepy walk the girl from The Ring can do.  He has managed to successfully scare the living piss out of Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka, Rex, and multiple others on different occasions by emerging from the shadows in the middle of the night doing the Ring walk.  No one was pleased.  Yoda thinks it’s hilarious though.  Anakin gets hit in the face just as much Obi Wan does, so he also only has like less than half of his real teeth still in his mouth.  Is also covered in various scars from people trying to kill him dead.  In total, I project many mental illnesses onto him, so I say he has anxiety, ADHD, BPD, and PTSD.  His super strongness in the Force means he is a complete lightweight, so alcohol is an uh oh for him; the only positive is that he never gets hangovers.  It also means that Force sensitive objects may suddenly go flying at his head when he’s just trying to casually stroll through a creepy old temple.  I also h/c that Anakin is allergic to tookas/lothcats.  No other animals, just them.  And it’s hilarious when on one occasion some kittens made their way into a briefing room and he just bursts into a sneezing fit, which, why are you all laughing at me? and then Rex points out the little kitten just perched on the top of his head.  Poor baby actually does chafe pretty badly from sand too, so his hatred isn’t completely unwarranted.

(18) Favorite beverage: Coffee with a gazillion lumps of sugar in it, protein powder because he’s all about the grind, a hint of space chili pepper, and like a dozen other ingredients that should Not Go In Coffee (one of the ingredients Is Bugs).  Obi Wan claims he tasted the concoction once and had hallucinations.  Ahsoka says she saw a drop melt the edge of the tabletop.  Padmé won’t go anywhere near it.  Anakin says they’re all cowards; it’s the only thing that can get him up and focused in the morning.

(20) Childhood illnesses?  Any interesting stories behind them?: I h/c that amongst the slaves, Shmi was the local medicine woman.  Therefore, Anakin as a child was constantly getting first exposure to all the local sicknesses and building up immunity, so besides one bout of food poisoning, he never got sick as a kid.  Once he got to the Temple... well, he was past the age where all the other kids had gotten vaccinations, Obi Wan, bless him, hates dealing with medical and was distracted by everything else and kind of forgot to make sure Anakin was up to date with everything, so he caught EVERYTHING.  EVERY LITTLE THING WOULD MAKE HIM SICK.  HE HATED IT.  OBI WAN HATED IT BECAUSE THE ONLY SICK PATIENT WORSE THAN ANAKIN IS HIMSELF.  IT NEVER ENDS.  ANAKIN IS TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD AND STILL CATCHING SHIT LIKE THE SPACE CHICKEN POX.  THIS ISN’T FAIR.

(22) Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?: Lots of writings of stuff like “Padmé Skywalker” or “Anakin Kenobi” cuz Ani is at heart a 12 year old girl.  Ok ok ok, but actually, there would be lots of different stuff on the page.  Mathematical calculations for ships and designs because he is a canon engineering nerd and I h/c he’s a whiz at math.  Also little doodles.  Anakin’s not a bad artist himself; his style is much more cartoonish than Obi Wan’s, but it means he can do cool little actions scenes of different ships or pods, him being a badass, Yoda getting attacked by space seagulls, etc.  Maybe designs for another japoor carving (I h/c he keeps the hobby).  Or, the page might be folded up as Anakin turned it into either a boat or a hat or an airplane that actually flies, or just a ball of paper he set on fire because he was bored.

(28) Who is their best friend?  Their worst enemy?:  OBI WAN KENOBI FOR BOTH OF THEM DAMMIT ANAKIN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.  Alright, alright, in reality, his worst enemy is probably more of a combination of himself and his own fears, Sidious for being an evil, manipulative asshole, and society for creating his fears and traumatizing him (though mostly it’s himself because he absolutely had the choice to do the right thing, but he didn’t).  Obi Wan is absolutely his best friend though.  No competition.

(29) Reaction to extrapersonal disaster (eg Oh no, the house is on fire!  What do we do?): For Anakin “I burned down the Republic because you left for an afternoon and I panicked” Skywalker?  “Ok, no problem, I got this.  I’ve got this.  No, wait, I don’t got this.  I defiNITELY DO NOT GOT THIS, I MADE IT WORSE, HOLY SHIT, NO ONE PANIC, I NEED AN ADULT-- (Ahsoka: You are an adult) --I NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT.”

(31) Most prized possession: His loved ones ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  And we’ve got at least six movies and a tv show telling us exactly how that did Not Go Well For Anyone

(33) Concept of home and family: Hmmm.  I’d say where he feels safe and comfortable.  Again, it’s stated in the show he feels at home at Padmé’s, but honestly?  He refuses to acknowledge Tatooine cuz ya know, the slavery, so he never really had a strong childhood home, and while I want to say he considered the Temple home at one point, , I’m not sure he does because I feel he’s always on red alert for things to get worse so he never really lets himself get comfortable anywhere-- not even Padmé’s.  Family is a bit easier for him; a group of people who love each other-- and for Anakin, it doesn’t have to be blood relations but if you ARE related by blood, you’re a family member by default and he will be Very Offended by blood relations who cut away from their families because he feels if you’re connected like that, you should love each other.

[theaurorfileshq]

J U N E   N O R W O O D  /  A U R O R   C A D E T

AGE:  Twenty-Four

BADGE NUMBER: S99A10

BLOODSTATUS: Pureblood

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis Woman, She/Her

IDENTIFYING FEATURES: Tendril like scars covering hands, a gold ring she never takes off.

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:

(+): Eidetic Memory, Creative Solutions to Problems, Dedicated

(-): Inexperienced in Field Work, Poor Interpersonal Skills, Combat Magic.

BACKGROUND:

The little farm house is big enough to be an entire universe in the mind of a child. The peaceful expanse of it, the long days spent helping her mother or pouring over books on magizoology made for children. With a hunger for knowledge that could never be sated and an adventurous spirit, there was no end of trouble for a young girl like June to get herself in to. She could never sit still, she could never stop asking questions. June always wanted to see everything, to watch what happened, to know all the answers.

Her father is her hero. It’s been true for as long as she’s existed. He guiding light –– steady and true and trustworthy. June grew up safe in the knowledge that he would be there for her, only occasionally worried that one day he wouldn’t come home from work. Being an Auror was dangerous work, and she knew he was brave for doing it. She knew he was a good man, a fact her mother never let her doubt. When she’s unsure what to do, he’s the first person she thinks of. Puzzling it over in her mind, she can try and come to the same conclusions he would, can try to emulate the decisions he might make in a certain situation.

She longed for the day she could go to Ilvermorny, begged and begged until her parents told her stories of what school was like. It seemed like a fairy-tale, a place she could go and learn everything she wanted to know. The summer before she started school was spent pouring over her books, memorising every fact and scrap of information she could set her eyes on. When the day comes to actually depart for school, however, she finds herself reluctant to leave. Her little universe at the ranch has grown smaller and smaller as she grew bigger, yet its the safest place she knows. The idea of being away from her mother and father for such an extended period of time was daunting, when she’d never spent more than a single night away from home at a time. Childishly, she’d pressed her face against her mother’s chest and let the tears come, let herself cry out all the anxiety and stress of the development.

Despite any fears, Ilvermorny is as magical as promised. She still felt overwhelmed as she stepped forward to be sorted, but the moment the crystal glows in the head of the Horned Serpent she feels herself relax. A good house. A good fit. A sensible choice. June works harder than a lot of her classmates, approaches every area of magic with a hunger and a passion that often goes unparalleled. She takes on a workload heavier than that of many of her classmates, and still finds herself thriving when it comes to her studies. Friends come harder to June –– she finds that she’s an awkward, flighty, uncertain thing. She could be a charming girl, if she got past that, but more often than not she says the wrong thing. June doesn’t think she really needs friends, anyway. She has books, learning, a bright future ahead of her.

The ranch keeps feeling smaller. The world keeps feeling smaller. As June grows up, she still feels like an awkward flighty thing. And she feels trapped in uncertainty, spoiled for choice yet so unsure where she wants to go. She could be an academic. She could work for MACUSA in any department she wished. She could follow in either her mother or father’s footsteps. What she wanted was adventure, something entirely new –– to go, to seek, to uncover the mysteries of the world. With wise words passed down from a mentor of hers, June decides that her best prospects lay outside the United States.

Seventeen years old is young, heart wrenchingly so. Yet for all intents and purposes, June is an adult. The British Ministry snaps her up after one interview, ships her off to the Department of Mysteries. June is thrilled with the development, thrilled with the chance to discover unknown facts about the universe and magic itself. Her hunger for knowledge grows and grows, well fed by the Department. June is an Unspeakable, and it suits her well. She finds herself enthralled with the Death Room, with the concepts explored there. She grows there –– becomes brighter, becomes more confident, falls head over heels in love. September Fallow, another new recruit, becomes the centre of her universe within a few months. They click in a way June never had before. Both clever. Both a little awkward. Both devoted to their work. Mirror images. June thinks she finally understands how her father and mother feel about each other, wrapped up in a sweet, unselfish love.

She’s twenty when he mother gets sick, and she doesn’t come home –– not right away. It’s hard to get away from work, hard to face the reality of the situation. The guilt will eat away at her for that, later. The severity of the illness escalates, and June finally does come home. She’s twenty-one, and desperately glad that she’s there. There for her mother. There for her father. There to hold her hand while she fades away. It leaves her shaken. Leaves her with a pit of grief a mile wide. Leaves her with her father, the two of them alone. June is strong through it all, sheds her tears and feels like she might drown in them, but doesn’t let herself. She keeps going as best she can, but the world feels like a very different place without her mother in it.

Going back to England feels like a fatal blow to herself, but she does it anyway. She’s already half convinced to quit, to run back home to her dad and stay with him. Scared of leaving him alone with his grief. But she has a job to do, projects to finish, a girlfriend to talk to. Her flat is cold and empty when she arrives back to it, her houseplants dead. She weeps over them as readily as anything else, feels foolish for it when the tears have dried. Feeling numb, she goes back to work. September isn’t there. It seems like in the long weeks June was away, September disappeared into thin air. Her desk is empty. Her things gone. No one will tell June what happened, no one really knows. September came to work one day and never left, really did disappear in one of the many and labyrinthine rooms. The world feels so wrong, so unfair, June can hardly take it anymore. There’s too much grief, piled atop grief. She only stays in England for a few months before she goes back home, back to the ranch, back to her dad.

New Orleans and the Auror track had always been an option. She’d played with the idea extensively, when she was seventeen and trying to plan her life out down to the letter. She’d always liked the idea of it, of being a hero like her father, of working for the greater good. It had adventure, it had mystery, enough to keep someone like June happy. It comes with the added perk of proximity to her family. She doesn’t expect to get assigned to Central Squad straight out of the Academy, was prepared to get shipped off to some small local division –– she had liked the idea of working for the squad in Texas, home as home could be. She’s baffled by the decision, knows that even if she had been placed on a regional squad, it shouldn’t have been central. All June knows is that she can make this work, can make the most of it. At least she can look out for her father.

She hasn’t let go of the past as neatly as she would like to believe. She feels hunted, haunted by memories of people who are long gone. She aches every day for the people who are out of reach. For her mother, for her warm touch and her easy guidance. For September, plagued by the mystery of her disappearance. She’s likely dead, June knows this –– but she can’t help obsess over the absence. She keeps detailed notes on the subject of death, forbidden knowledge gleaned from her years enthralled by a shadowy archway in a cold room. She wonders if you can touch it. If you can beat it. If you can pull someone back out again. She wonders what the space in between is like, if you can get caught there while still holding on to life. It’s a quiet obsession, one that keeps her busy in the quiet hours of the night. With her new appointment to Central Squad, she fears she won’t have the same amount of time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe.

[aximili]

X, Q, E

oooo i didn’t think i had any ocs starting with x but i remembered one from ages ago actually..... i had a story called After Life abt a kid trying to redeem his soul after he gets sent to hell, it was a bit all over the place tho and i scrapped it. although recently saw there’s a netflix show of the same name w ricky gervais and still managed to be annoyed

Full Name: Xanthe (if she had a surname it’s gone from my memory omg)

Nicknames, If Any: Xan

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: female

Sexuality: bi

A Song I Associate With Them: hmmmm.... That Man by caro emerald

3 Important Relationships: WELL i only remember 2 other characters she knew, tbh this world was never well-developed

-ransom, he’s her very officious & stuffy angel rival who she ends up having a weird hate-fling with

-there was the main kid whose guardian demon she is (oh yea she’s like a guardian angel but the opposite. encourages u to be bad.) but for the life of me i don’t remember his name lol. once i had developed RanXan as concepts i got distracted by their s*xy little rivalry. yes it’s all terminally het, i was like 14

2 Fears: she’s been (well, not alive, but around) for a long time so she’snot scared of much. she’s a very cocky person and embraces being the bad influence, especially to annoy ransom, bc on the surface she’s like, well this whole heaven/hell divide is bullshit, people aren’t just one thing. but i think deep down she’s afraid of the idea that she really is bad. and afraid of what happens once she fades into irrelevance in hell and stops getting assignments but still has to carry on existing

1 Element of their backstory: i think she was alive way back in Biblical Times - obv she wasn’t called xanthe then but chose her own name. she was a serial liar and said that god was talking to her in order to get things she wanted. but she died young, like everyone did

Q - oo i DO have one Q oc! he’s from adrift, my pirate novel that i will one day finish

Full Name: Queryn Smousk

Nicknames, If Any: idk if anyone calls him a nickname. they mostly just don’t refer to him. 

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff

Gender: male ? hm

Sexuality: gay

A Song I Associate With Them:  bottom of the river by delta rae

3 Important Relationships:

-rictor avis: queryn is a generic sailor on the pirate ship, rictor is the surgeon/carpenter for the crew, he’s a huge tall crow man, and is equally or perhaps more creepy than queryn. they hang around together and give everyone weird vibes. rictor is mute & queryn isn’t, but he says very little out of choice (he doesn’t speak the main language, idk common or whatever, very well) but they like to sit in the crows nest together in silence most hours of the day when theyre not working. everyone even their crewmates thinks they might be up to some weird shit. their dark secret? theyre just a cute couple.... they just like to hang out. they bonded with quiet, intense looks when queryn was first rescued dying in the swamp and brought on board and rictor mended his wounds. it was tender. absolutely nobody else knows theyre a couple even tho they don’t keep it a secret. theyre just chill

-garran korrash: garran is the bosun and is a literal/figurative grizzly old bear, and as well as being queryn’s manager he’s one of the only people who he’s really chill with. garran was the one who insisted they stop n help him out, and queryn’s been grateful ever since. he doesn’t say it bc he hardly says anything, but he shows it in hard work

-sonya perlace: like almost all of her crew, queryn would die for captain sonya. he comes from a pretty harsh society where the strong survive, and even tho he never quite fit in there, he really respects sonya’s strength & leadership.

2 Fears: even tho he’s a pirate his biggest fear is drowning since he nearly drowned before. he has a lot of nightmares about it. he’s also creeped out by elliot. cause what the fuck even IS that?

1 Element of their backstory: p much the only backstory he has is that he was part of this society of amphibian/lizard people in the deep swampy area of the continent that’s cut off from the rest. he was out hunting but got badly gored by a huge aninal (idk what, like a Bigger Lizard.. theres always a bigger lizard) and couldnt make it home. he started sinking into the bog but couldn’t pull himself free, then the area began to flood with torrential rainwater and he cried for help. luckily sonya & garran happened to be trekkin through the jungle and heard him

E - has to be elliot, the little bastard supreme. i played him as a dnd character with an altered backstory but i’ll use the adrift version

Full Name: elliot (no known surname)

Nicknames, If Any: nope

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: male

Sexuality: probably bi? he only a teen though and being surrounded by furries hasn’t had much chance to develop any feelings on the matter

A Song I Associate With Them:  mariner’s revenge song by the decemberists

3 Important Relationships:

lol 2 of the 3 are fully hatred relationships because this young man has iiiiisssuuuuuues

-sonya perlace: he acts the begrudging deckhand who’s resigned himself to his life, but he is 100% devoted to eventually killing her. she killed his mama and he has been waiting for his moment ever since, he’s even had opportunities to leave the crew but has stayed so he can keep close to her. it’s fully like, would have a picture of her with daggers & darts in it, if he had such resources

-niphea perlace: niph is the captain’s daughter, the first mate, and the reason elliot’s still alive - she persuaded sonya not to throw him off the ship along with his mum. he has understandably mixed feelings abt this, and he rarely shows it, but she’s always been an advocate for him and treated him fairly so he does like niph more than anyone, despite himself. also she’s his closest in age on a ship full of adults. he.... tries not to think abt the fact he plans on killing her mother in return cause that’s a bit awkward isnt it

-aidan moss: quartermaster aidan doesn’t like things he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t understand what elliot is, so he goes out of his way to be awful to him, tending to delegate his own jobs to elliot at every chance he can get & generally insulting him. elliot tolerates it bc he has to. but make no mistake this dude is no2 on the kill list

2 Fears: i don’t think he has a lot of fears because he’s already been through some of the worst things imaginable. i don’t even think he precisely fears drowning/dying at sea, because he’s been focused on the image of how his mother died for so long, & imagining doing the same to sonya, that it kinda no longer affects him?  but he also saw his dad die over a long period from wound infection and i think that must have made a traumatic impression on him, so i imagine he’s probably at least repulsed by decay/rot

1 Element of their backstory: so elliot is the only human character in a world of animals basically... i mean this is major novel spoilers but when tf am i ever gonna finish that.  he comes from a very remote island of remaining humans, descendants of the few who survived nuclear disaster a long time ago. when he was small he and his parents were exiled from the island for breaking its rules (yea, as tends to happen w small isolated communities, things got over the top cult-y) and sent out in a tiny boat to fend for themselves. his dad died slowly while they drifted in the ocean, and he and his mum were near death when they were picked up by sonya’s crew, who were like what the fuck are those??? they kept them in the hold to discuss what to do w them, but elliot’s mum, thalia, tried to break free, attacking niph when she came with food. as punishment sonya made her walk the plank, and that’s where it all went wrong yknow. woops this isn’t 1 element is it. oh well 

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 8

*comment shared a comic shipping Sayaka and Kyoko*

What. What is this. Is shipping the Blue-haired Paladin and the Red-Haired Warrior a thing? Because I'm suddenly seeing it as a thing. Seriously that is adorable. Damn it. I'm still holding the "Letting Familiars Go" thing against her, but between her Tragic Backstory and that comic I'm now shipping the two. ...given how short my last ship was I'm suddenly worried.

And we’re back! Watching bloodstained Silhouette-Sayaka hack wildly at the the downed witch while Silhouette-Madoka and Silhouette-Kyoko watch.

Jeebus.

The labyrinth breaks down as Sayaka laughs, staring ahead wide-eyed and muttering about how “It’s easy once you know how to do it. I’m sure I’ll never lose this way.”

Sayaka. Just because you can shut off pain and use magic to heal damage to your body, does not mean that you should!

Back in the real world construction site, Sayaka picks up her first Grief Seed. Well, while I’m not happy with her new fighting style, at least she got

What’s with that creepy head tilt and glance back? Have you been taking lessons from Homura?

Why did you just throw the Grief Seed

Why did you just throw the Grief Seed to Kyoko

Argh. No no no. Sayaka, you know that you only have so much magic, right? That you are not some special Magical Girl that doesn’t need Grief Seeds to recharge? I get that you think that you’re making a point, but you just fought a Witch and used up who knows how much magic, you need to recharge more than the bystander.

So what, you gave Kyoko the Grief Seed so that you wouldn’t be in her debt? Ok fine, that’s a slightly better reason. But still, you’d better find another Grief Seed soon, so you don’t run out of mana when you really need it.

Ok, see?! You just dismissed your outfit and then had to get caught by Madoka! That fight took a lot out of you, you cannot afford to give away Grief Seeds right now! Stop being Lawful Stupid!

“That idiot…” See, Kyoko agrees with me! This is not just someone with a “me first” philosophy scoffing at charity, this is a matter of keeping up your defensive ability!

Intro of Lies

Ep 8: I was Stupid… So Stupid

Later, as it’s raining…

As a mournful cello tells us that “This is a sad moment, u guys!”, Sayaka and Madoka are sitting at a bus stop, Sayaka leaning tiredly against Madoka. Madoka’s trying to tell Sayaka that going all Blood Knight is not a good way of fighting…

“Just because you don’t feel it, it doesn’t mean it’s ok to get hurt.” Yes, exactly!

But Sayaka’s just focused on winning. If she doesn’t fight like that, she can’t win, because she “doesn’t have any natural talent.” Um, you did just start as a MG a little while ago, right? It’s really not that much of a stretch to think you’d be less able than who-knows-how-old-they-are Magical Girls.

Madoka’s still trying to get it through Sayaka’s skull that even if it works, it doesn’t mean that it’s good.

“What’s ‘good for me’?”

Uh oh.

Yup, back to “I’m this shiny gem being held right in front of your face, not the meat puppet you were just talking at.”

Sayaka’s really getting fatalistic, isn’t she? Saying that the only worth she has left in the world is killing Witches. That’s she’s a walking, talking corpse, pretending it’s still alive.

Ok, personal note. Isn’t that what all people are, if we go with the idea that souls exist? Not that I want to make Kyubey sound like he was right, but the body is not the consciousness. Yes, you should take care of your soul-container, but the body itself is not ‘alive’ in that sense. You are not dead, Sayaka, you’re just… offset? Look I’m trying to talk Sayaka out of being Lawful Stupid, give me a break.

There is so much “good that others could do for you now, Sayaka! You can still have friends, you can still enjoy things like good food and music. Heck, there’s my newest ship thanks to that comic you lot posted!

I mean, that solves all your problems right there! Kyoko can teach you to stop being so self-sacrificing and enjoy your life again, you can teach her to care about other people besides herself, and together you act as a more moderate Magical Girl duo like redwulf said. And it even answers your concern about you being so different than Kamijo now, Kyoko’s just like you, an immortal magic user!

It’s not stupid, Sayaka, stop saying that it’s-

Wait.

Ep 8: I Was Stupid… So Stupid

Um, yes! Yes it is very stupid to think about how you could be happy again, Sayaka. Keep thinking that it’s stupid until you’re proven wrong. *fingers crossed*

See, Madoka just wants to make you happy again, Sayaka. So stop making her feel like she’s a bad friend.

“Then you fight them.”

What.

Why are you telling Madoka that Bunny-Cat said that she has Protagonist Powers? Why are you telling her that she could beat Witches easily?

“If you really want to do something for me, you should experience what I’ve experienced first.”

Sayaka, stahp.

“You can’t give up being human just out of a little pity, can you?!”

Ok, that’s just unfair, Sayaka.

“In place of you, who could accomplish anything but won’t-

So don’t talk like you care, when you’ve conveniently overlooked that!”

NO. BAD SAYAKA. TIME OUT FOR YOU, YOU MADE MADOKA CRY.

AND STOP DOING THE CREEPY STARES.

Jerk-Sayaka tells Madoka not to follow her, then runs off into the rain.

Wow. Ok. That was uncalled for, Sayaka. Yes, this situation sucks, but that does not give you grounds to blame Madoka for not getting her own soul torn out!

Madoka’s left standing dumbfounded in the rain, no doubt blaming herself. Argh.

And Jerk-Sayaka runs along- crying?

“I’m so stupid…! Why did I say all that to her?”

Ah, ok. Still a jerk thing to do, but Sayaka realizes that she let her emotions get out of hand. I’m still waiting for her to apologize to Madoka, but I can understand.

Aw, no. Sayaka, you are not beyond saving. Just go back and say you’re sorry for the outburst, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.

Homura? Or a sign that says Homura? Oh, do we get to see Homura’s place now?

Whut.

Well ok. This is appropriately arcane enough for the Mysterious Transfer Student, I suppose. Glaring white walls and floor, candles everywhere, floating scrolls and some huge pendulum…

Seems that Homura’s invited Kyoko over, to go over plans for Walpurgisnact. Oh yeah, the Giant Flying Thing that should drop a Super Grief Seed, I’d almost forgotten about that. Really speaks for the intensity of the “MGs are Lichs” thing that I stopped thingking about it. How much longer until she summons the Super Witch, again?

Kyoko asks how Homura knows where it will appear, the MST says ‘Statistics’.

...what Statistics?

Homura refuses to elaborate. I’m guessing she thinks that Kyoko wouldn’t approve of a plan to actually summon a Super Witch on purpose. Still, Kyoko wants more info. And so does

Kyubey

Ok, good on you for summoning your spear that quick, Kyoko. Go ahead and kick the uninvited guest out. But Bunny-Cat says it came with some important information…

“Sayaka Miki’s deterioration is happening far quicker than I expected.”

Uh oh. So her Soul Gem’s running out of juice faster than usual?

“It isn’t just all the magic she’s using. She, herself, has begun to curse the world.”

Oh crap. I’m remembering Mami’s lesson on Witches, how they are born from Curses.

Are we going to see the Anti-Kyubey soon? I’m actually not sure how much worse they could be than Jerk Bunny-Cat, but whatever actually creates Witches… could it see Sayaka as an opportunity for recruitment?

Going back to my theory that Homura got her powers from Anti-Kyubey (since Kyubey doesn’t know where she got them from), I’m thinking that she made a Ghost-Rider deal and then proceeded to renege on it, just focus on increasing her own power and protecting Muggles who don’t actively get in her way. But if some antagonist could convince Sayaka to be more active against the “selfish Magical Girls”... Oh dear.

(“I was stupid… so stupid… to think that Magical Girls could ever be good. They are only selfish, so I will destroy them all!”)

Kyoko snaps at Bunny-Cat, saying that it’s their fault in the first place. Kyubey ignores that, and says that at this rate Sayaka will be causing them some trouble before Walpurgisnacht arrives.

Kyubey: “So watch out! I don’t want to lose any more Magical Lunch Ladies than I have to.”

Kyoko’s still a bit confused, but Kyubey suggests that she talk to Sayaka about it. And Homura already knows what he’s talking about… although it’s curious where she learned “such interesting things”.

Homura has finally had enough of Kyubey and orders it out. Kyubey just turns around and walks through some shadow out of the room.

Wait, where did it walk out again? That room’s pretty bright, the only darkness is the sides of the seats- oh, wow. Ok, so Kyubey can apparently phase through solid objects or something. No wonder it keeps showing up indoors.

Kyoko asks why Homura’s letting it go, she says that there’s no point in killing it. I’d disagree, but whatever. As for Sayaka…

“Her Soul Gem has become too tainted. If it is not purified soon, there will be no coming back for her.”

So, it’s like a corroded battery? Her Gem’s not got enough full magic-packets in it, so it’s not going to last much longer? And if she want’s to keep fighting after that, she’ll need some new power.

And transition to the classroom. Jeez, in all this drama I almost forgot they’re still middle-schoolers.

Sayaka’s absent again… And Madoka’s blaming herself for not going after her.

Now it’s later in the day and… aw crap.

Hitomi’s deadline has passed. She’s going to confess to Kamijo.

The two are walking by a huge waterfall/dam at sunset, and Kamijo is cluelessly talking about he never realized that Hitomi’s house was that direction. To which she cheerfully admits that she lives in the exact opposite direction. But she went that way today because she has something to tell him.

Madoka is talking to someone, learning that Sayaka’s not home and she hasn’t been there since yesterday… wait, Sayaka has parents?! Or at least a guardian? We haven’t seen anyone, so I was honestly assuming that she was yet another orphan.

Well, Madoka’s not going to give up yet. Off she goes to find her!

Now we’re back at the dam, watching Hitomi and Kamijo talking about something but not hearing their words. As Sayaka watches from the shadows…

Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. She’s falling, isn’t she. She’s going from Paladin to Blackguard.

Now Sayaka’s stumbling through a dark bubbly background as her theme music is playing

Nope, now she’s screaming as she slashes through a labyrinth. She’s still trying to keep her word, kill Witches…

Sayaka, your Soul Gem is looking kinda dark. Please tell me you’ve got some Grief Seeds to recharge it by now…

Footstep? Sayaka turns around to see Homura walking through the car park towards her. Sayaka is not pleased to see her blank head tilt stare.

“Why can’t you understand? You don’t have the luxury of killing familiars.”

So that wasn’t a Witch? She still doesn’t have any Grief Seeds? Good grief, Sayaka. This is a matter of having the power to fight Witches or running out and being helpless, you need to recharge!

Sayaka rejects Homura’s advice, who only comments about how Sayaka’s Soul Gem must be at its limit and tosses a- Grief Seed! Thank you Homura, that’s just what is ne

Oh for fucks sake, Sayaka! Stop being so goddamn self-sacrificing and take it, don’t just kick it down the ramp! You will run out of magic, be unable to heal yourself from your reckless fighting, and die. Get it through your skull!

Yeah, Homura didn’t like that. Even scrunched up her mouth.

“Don’t be a fool. You’re in no position to be questioning anyone’s help right now. Or do you simply hate being rescued that much?”

Damn, Urobuchi really doesn’t like the self-sacrificing hero type, does he? Sayaka’s had nothing but bad stuff happen since she started, and now the character who’s going to basically summon a demon for more power is sounding pretty reasonable.

Now Sayaka’s saying her Heroic Creed from the after the last episode’s credits, about how she’ll be a different kind of Magical Girl. Good words, but you’ve got to take care of yourself to back them up.

To which Homura can only say “You are going to die.”

“So what if I die.” Aw. Aw Sayaka, no. “It just means I won’t be able to kill witches anymore.”

Ok, fine. If appealing to your own self-preservation isn’t working, how about these two points:

-You are completely neglecting all of the Witches you could kill in the future, all the lives that you would save, in order to go all out against the Witches and Familiars right now. If you really want to save as many Muggles as possible, to go to the extreme of “The Needs of the Many outweigh the Needs of the Few”, then you have to recognize that the lives you save now fighting recklessly cannot possibly measure up to all the lives you will save in the future if you just exercise a modicum of restraint

-If you die, Madoka will cry. Madoka will cry because of your foolishness. Don’t make Madoka cry.

If you define yourself as being “of use” or “not of use”, then recognize that you are loosing effectiveness as a Witch Hunter with this self-destructive behavior. Snap out of it!

So what if you “can’t” defeat Witches right now? You did pretty damn well against the one in the factory that almost killed Madoka and Hitomi, and you’re just starting out! Get some training under your belt and you’ll be a great successor to Mami. But not like this.

Homura can only ask “Why? All I want is to save you.” Aw, so she’s seeing Sayaka as someone to help again, after the whole “Competition for Grief Seeds” thing.

“Why can’t you trust me?” Um. Well, you kinda threatened Madoka’s family and knocked Sayaka out that one time, so…

Sayaka’s so out of it she can’t even come up with a reason that she can’t trust Homura. Other that that somehow, she knows she’s a liar?

“By looking at your eyes, I can tell you’ve given up on everything.” That she’s speaking hollow words, that even now she says she wants to help but it’s not what she’s really thinking. But she won’t fool Sayaka!... yup, Sayaka’s slipping. She needs Madoka-encouragement, stat.

Homura flips her hair and-

“You do realize that you’re just making Madoka suffer more and more?”

Hey, she’s using my second point! Lets see if it works at all.

Nope, Sayaka just says that it has nothing to do with her. Right, after your outburst at her, and the fact that she’s your best friend? Suuure it doesn’t.

“You’re wrong. Everything has to do with her.”

Bwuh? Where did this come from? Are you worried that Sayaka’s brooding will get Madoka to make a Contract, and pose a risk of getting the Super Grief Seed?

Um. Homura just transformed into Magical Girl Mode. Why did she do that?

Um. Homura just admitted that she has no desire at all to save Sayaka. She just doesn’t want Madoka to have to watch Sayaka destroy herself?

Is this Homura’s twisted “Non-Magical Girls are to be protected as best able, other Magical Girls are competition” logic?

“If you refuse my help here, there is no recourse for you but to

Oh no. no no no.

die.”

No no no NO. Sayaka. Transform. Fight back. Run away. DO SOMETHING.

“If you will make Madoka grieve more than she has…”

Running? Is Madoka showing up. Oh crap, Madoka’s going to see Homura kill Sayaka, isn’t she?

“...then I…”

Raised hand.

“...will kill you…”

Bright purple light.

“...here and now. Sayaka Miki.”

Run. Run run RUN!

Homura pulled back? What?

KYOKO!

I am so happy to see you! Character development, yes!

Kyoko the Hero yells at Sayaka to run, who… slowly gets up and shuffles off. Ok, at least she’s moving?

As for you, Homura, what the hell? Get out of that armchair, you can trade seats with Kyoko after that stunt you almost pulled.

Kyoko’s yelling at Homura now, who only says to let go of her. Oh? Oh! If Kyoko’s holding onto the MST, then she can’t use her teleportation!

But she can still do something with her shield?

Oh shit! Grenade! Kyoko quite reasonably leaps back. And that’s all Homura needs to vanish before sudden explosion.

Aw damn, it was just a flash-bang. I mean, still, ouch, but I could have sworn it looked like a classic frag grenade. I must be out of practice with shooters.

And she’s gone. Hopefully Sayaka got far enough away.

Ok good, looks like she got on a train. Although she’s having to listen to two dumbasses who are probably wearing fedoras. Strange art style, everything just black and white…

“You just can’t treat women like rational human beings.” Oh shut up.

Wait, when did Sayaka stand up?

“Hey, tell me more about her.”

Um, Sayaka?

Ok, um. Sayaka, they’re just idiots, there’s no need to go too far…

Listen, these two jerks are scum, they are not part of the world you’ve been protecting. Don’t let them spoil your view of the world.

Sayaka? Sayaka, what is happening? Why are you getting all squiggly?

Aw crap. Her magic’s finally going, isn’t it?

Madoka’s still looking for Sayaka, walking by the river.

Kyubey

. Who just appeared from the shadow of a lamppost. Was it there earlier, or is this confirmation Bunny-Cat can shadow travel?

It asks if Madoka is mad with him too. And instead of saying no, our All-Loving Heroine asks that if she was, if it would turn Sayaka back human. Damn, now you’re on even Madoka’s List, Kyubey.

Kyubey claims that it’s beyond its power to do that. Sure it is, I’m pretty sure it just doesn’t want to give up a Magical Lunch Lady any sooner than it has to.

But

Oh no

Madoka, NO.

Madoka is talking about how Kyubey once told her she could be an incredibly powerful Magical Girl.

No. No no no. Don’t do it, Madoka. We’ll talk her down, hook her up with Kyoko, anything other than that.

Kyubey is going on about how “incomprehensibly powerful” Madoka would be if she unlocked her Protagonist Powers, probably the strongest being in the show. I mean, world.

“If I had made the contract with you…”

Madoka, NO! Sayaka would have made the contract for her own Wish and to help others regardless, do not blame yourself for that!

What’s this? Kyubey doesn’t understand how Madoka’s potential could be so great? It’s on a scale that theoretically shouldn’t even be possible?

(Shades of Tephi’s “That’s not how charts work”)

Will we ever get an answer for this?

“I want someone to come explain it as much as you do.” Ergh. And now I’m torn between finding out and keeping the information away from Bunny-Cat.

So the power that Madoka could unleash could twist reality, or whatever? So her Wish could, I dunno, bring someone back from the dead? (Bring Mami back)

What, you’re saying that Madoka could “even become the god of this world”?

Wait. I’m seeing possibilities here.

If Madoka could really be that powerful, more so than any MG…

I’m picturing a world where Magical Girls are known to exist, where they don’t have to hide their powers. Maybe they could find a way to get Muggles to see Witches and stay away, recognize the threat. The Magical Girl Contract could be understood, and people who can actually give informed consent could make the choice to create Soul Gems and protect the people. (sudden mental image of cops in Magical Girl outfits, ha. Or can only women make the Contract?)

And over it all, Magical Girl Madoka Kaname, leading the growing Magical Girl movement as a team of modern-day superheroines.

Please tell me that’s where this story is going. And not that Urobuchi is going to stop all over my hopes and dreams.

Enough power to do things that Kyubey can’t or won’t do? Like grant Wishes and bring people back? (Bring Mami Back) Even turn Sayaka human again? Kyubey says that it would be child’s play for her (reinforcing my belief that he could turn her back, he just doesn’t want to).

Ergh. This is… if Madoka could really have that power…

Would it be worth trading her soul for? Or at the very least moving it outside her body?

Madoka says that it would. For Sayaka.

Well. Eight episodes into a twelve-episode show. I guess that it’s about time the main character came into her own power.

Madoka will do it. Make her into a mag

WHAT

WHAT

BUNNY-CAT IS SWISS CHEESE

WHAT

Kyubey is dead. Kyubey is dead and Madoka will never be a magical girl and Mami will stay dead and Sayaka will turn evil and

What

Homura?! What the hell?!

You just fucking killed Bunny-Cat! He was a jerk, but Madoka was about to get her powers! You just screwed Sayaka over, for what? Because you don’t want the competition?!

Oh for- this wasn’t about self-sacrifice, you psycho. Madoka was about to unlock enough power to make things better in this show. You of all people should understand that!

Ok, what the hell? I get that you consider Muggles like Madoka innocent, but you’re getting rather illogical about this. For the potential good that she could do, I think that knowingly putting her soul in a rock isn’t that bad.

What. Homura is crying. What. Why is the Vulcan showing emotion.

She’s babbling about how so many people would grieve if Madoka died.

Homura… are you…?

You’ve been trying to protect Madoka from the life of a Magical Girl. At first I saw it as wanting to prevent competition, then trying to guard the innocent little Muggle from the danger. But you were trying to protect Madoka specifically? Why would you do that, when it conflicts with your behavior?

“Have the two of us… met somewhere before…?”

Are we FINALLY going to get a damn explanation for the Vision? Like, Homura saved Madoka from a Labyrinth before and wiped her mind, or whatever?

Homura’s not saying. So Madoka’s leaving to find Sayaka.

...damn it. I almost got some damn answers here, but nope! Urobuchi is trolling me.

Instead of answers, we’re left with a bullet-riddled Kyubey, a crying Homura, and a running Madoka. And I wish I understood how we got here.

Whoa, what?!

“You knew there was no point in doing that.”

Kyubey?! You’re alive?

What the hell is that image, that silhouette balancing on the fence with red eyes.

“I have countless spares, of course, but making me use them up for no reason like this… It’s a waste.”

...what.

So Kyubey’s alive, and

OH GOD is it eating the corpse? Itself? What?

KANAYA: I Suddenly Dont Understand Anything And Am Currently Casting Sincere Doubt On The Laughable Insinuation That I Or Anyone Else Ever Actually Did For Even A Single Moment

Kyubey is a clone or whatever or what?

Homura’s gotten back to her feet and resumed her Mysterious Transfer Student attitude.

“That’s the second time you’ve killed me.”

Really? Was the first offscreen, or did I miss it?

“That was Time Magic, wasn’t it?”

Time Magic?

TIME MAGIC?!

“You’re not from this timeline, are you?”

YOU GUYS

HOMURA IS A TIME TRAVELER

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

-She knows Madoka from an alternate timeline that Madoka somehow got a glimpse of

-She’s seen all this happen before, knows where to show up and how to act to prevent things

-She could have gotten her powers from Kyubey, just not this Kyubey

-She’s fighting with the experience of two runs as as Magical Girl

-She’s acting so cold and detached because these are just counterparts of people she knew in her own timeline

-Her special ability isn’t teleporting, it’s pausing time and moving somewhere else before it resumes

That makes sense now! There’s still so much about this show that doesn’t make sense, but at least that does!

But it boils down to the fact that Homura knows what Kyubey was doing the whole time, coercing these girls into transferring their souls and becoming Magical Lunch Ladies.

...yeah, I guess that does sound pretty out there. No wonder she didn’t just outright say what it was up to.

Kyubey is being remarkable chill for recently learning his opponent has time-travel knowledge. I guess it’s pretty confident that it’s already succeeded, and even though Homura stopped him before Madoka could Contract, if it can replace bodies then it’s only a matter of time before it can catch up with Madoka and finish the deal.

But Homura is adamant that she won’t let things to according to Kyubey’s plan.

“Or should I say, ‘Incubator’?”

Incubator? What does…

Oh.

Oh shit.

Kyubey’s been storing the Grief Seeds.

Kybey’s always been around when a Witch shows up.

Son of a bitch. I kept on going on about some sort of Anti-Kyubey, who was creating Witches the same way that Kyubey was creating Magical Girls.

But if Kyubey was ‘incubating’ the Grief Seeds, planting the Grief Seeds…

Kyubey is Anti-Kyubey!

And if it’s been the one planting the Seeds…

Homura didn’t plant the hospital Seed, you did!!!

You son of a bitch! You killed Mami!

What, we’re just leaving it at that?! No way, we are going to get that thing to confess and

Oh wait, it’s Sayaka at a train station. Ok good, we found you. Let’s just get you home and talk this out. We need to discuss Operation ‘Kick Kyubey’s Butt’.

Oh hey, Kyoko found her! Guess Madoka’s still on the way. Kyoko takes a seat next to Sayaka and jokingly asks about how long she’s going to keep acting like Batman. Sayaka apologizes for making Kyoko look for her. Which confuses Kyoko. Where’s the brash Ally of Justice that she’s been fighting?

Sayaka says that she just can’t care about anything anymore, that she can’t remember what she thought was worth protecting… yup, this is classic Falling Paladin. Quick, somebody try to kick a puppy in front of her so she gets all “Justice Will Be Upheld” again.

Kyoko’s just chowing down on some potato chips during all this.

Sayaka’s pulled out her Soul Gem, and geez that is looking pretty freaking dark. How much longer before it’s completely empty and she can’t use magic anymore? Now she’s talking about how hope and despair balance back out to zero, throwing Kyoko’s words back at her. Ouch.

Yes, you saved people, Sayaka! Never forget that! But… then you started feeling resentment and hatred. Um. And hurt your best friend.

“For as much happiness as we wish on one person, we can’t help but curse someone else.” Oh come on, that’s not true! There’s… ok, give me a minute, I’m sure I can think of an example where someone doing good didn’t backfire on them in this show…

Ah! Mami saving the person who fell off the building! That was a good act that didn’t hurt her!

Aw no. Don’t cry Sayaka. Look, I know that things seem bad, but we can get past this. You can…

“I was stupid… so stupid.”

Whoa what the hell?

WHAT THE HELL THERE ARE FLASHING LIGHTS AND KYOKO JUST WENT FLYING

Sayaka. Sayaka your Soul Gem is cracking. I am fairly certain that your Soul Gem should not be cracking something that contains a soul should never break

Your Soul Gem just broke

That

That is a Grief Seed

Your Soul Gem just turned into a Grief Seed

What

What

“Sayaka!”

I… what…

Construction site.

“In this country, half-grown women are called “girls”, right?”

No. No no no no NO NO NO

“In that case, it’s appropriate that you, who will one day grow into Witches, should be called ‘Magical Girls’.”

…

what.

...after credits chibi-ish picture of Mami, Homura, Madoka, Sayaka , and that red-eyed ALWAYS SMIRKING MANIPULATIVE LITTLE-

Homura: “Maybe I’m being a fool, but until I know for sure whether she can or can’t be saved, I don’t want to give up.”

Episode 9: I’d Never Allow That To Happen

[minijeong]

hi anon, welcome!! 🥰🥰 below the cut is a short and messy guide to the main ships you’ll see around the fandom 

disclaimer that idc if things are seen as friendly or romantic - i just love the members relationships with each other :’) hopefully the shipping in the fandom never gets to the point where the members get uncomfortable with it

yenyul: yena yuri // it’s yenyul not yulyen bc yena and yuri said so // mnet definitely ships them // “i’d only date her not marry her” - yena // “you two should get married” - wizones during their vlive lmao // “are you two dating?” - wonyoung // “dream of me” - yena @ yuri // other members say they’re twins bc they’re so similar it’s frightening // in a vlive they shouted the same sentence twice and it creeped out the other members // accidentally bought the same pjs and brought it to thailand when they were roommates // yena thought it was a prank and got mad lol // and the day before in the car, yena was singing a song she was listening to // and then yuri grabbed her hand like “UNNIE” and showed her that she was listening to the same song at the exact same timestamp lol like how // anyway they’re my fav :’) // never sinks // yuri has a type of laugh that only yena can bring out and it’s hella cute

2kim: chaewon minju // im actually not sure why this is so popular or where this started so if anyone knows why lmk pls lol // their interactions are always cute though // chaewon teases minju in front of camera, minju teases chaewon behind camera // minju always says chaewon is pretty but she does that to every other existing person so idk // that one time in izone chu 2 when minju got jealous when chaewon called yujin pretty lol // and then chaewon had to call minju pretty too lol

chaekkura/hotaru: chaeyeon sakura // called hotaru bc of pd48 headphone game/challenge thing // mnet also ships them // was the pd48 flagship // “just date already” - chaewon // but is now kind of a sinking ship i think // losing popularity and i havent seen many moments floating around besides the recent pdx101 one // their duo dance stage at mama lol // hyekura is also a thing bc hyewon is super touchy with sakura but beyond that idk abt them

ssambbang: chaewon hitomi // chaewon took tomi to seoul tower to leave love locks // chaewon teaches tomi sassy korean phrases so she can stand up to other members // “thank you for always holding my hand while walking, always walking beside me when im alone, sharing good food with me. you’re like a real sister to me” - hitomi // a;lsdfksjdgfhjnk

jinjoo: yujin minju // theyre roommates // this post // they go to the same school // that time in pd48 where yujin raided minju’s bed and took her juice and minju screamed louder than in the izone chu 2 haunted school lol // wonyoung followed up by stealing some snacks and then yuri came too lmao it was great

here are some other popular ones that are known more for ‘bro’ dynamic: yenjin // hyena // hyejin // tbh yena/yujin/hyewon dynamic bluffer trio // annyeongz (wonyoung yujin) // jangjorimz (wonyoung yuri) // 01 line (minju, nako, hitomi, yuri) // ssamyen // joyuriz (yena yuri chaewon) // woollimz (eunbi chaewon) // tom + jerry (sakura yena) // nakbi (’bEcAuSe iM nAkO’s AnGeL’) // hyeyul (yuri is certified as hyewons child lol) // j-line // f2 (minju wonyoung) (f3 is f2+yujin) // hyewonxfood

ok that was rly long oops... if u read until here thank u for listening to my ted talk

tbh i love ot12 and thus i appreciate any sweet or funny interactions between them and the bonds they have with each other 

and for avid shippers out there who see everything romantically... i just wanna say... remember that wonyoung yujin minju nako hitomi and yuri are minors (born 2001 and later)... and eunbi was born in 1995... that is all

thank u again

[emikvs]

﹤𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰 𝙺𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚂𝚄, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 / 𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello EMIKO " EMI " SATO. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY ONE, how you're a CLASSICS major,  and in fact.. how you LIE AND TELL EVERYONE YOU STUDIED ABROAD FOR A YEAR WHEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN REHAB. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! SDBJWBDJW what’s up......its xan aha ... this is gonna be the biggest mess ever ...just winging it as i go. and u know what ? thats on on brand babey ! lets get it ...TW: drug use/mention, accidents/hospitalization ( just in case)

backstory

virginia born and raised babey ! she’s the youngest of five siblings and ...it shows. SJDBJWBDJW growing up would have been pretty chaotic had it not been for the fact that her dad was a pretty well-respected police officer in their town ! him & her mom were high school sweethearts which made no damn sense to emiko considering they’re still happily married...the concept just seems fake to her </3

while her parents had a lot of  mushy love for each other, when it came to their kids they opted to take a more emotionally distanced kind of parenting style bc they didnt wanna like spoil their kids or anything but.....it wasnt exactly the best plan ! emi and all her siblings just learned to be very good liars JDSBWBDJW as kids with strict parents do

being the youngest emi took a while to get into her rebellious phase. for a while she’d just watch her older siblings sneak out and party and do walks of shame and all that jazz...and while she was always down to help them get out of trouble none of them ever really trusted her ? since she was the baby they figured she’d be the most likely to snitch which just made her really ///: bc she wanted to be included so bad

flash forward to senior year of high school and finally emi’s like . okay fuck this it’s MY turn ! her dad had recently decided to get into politics with some encouragement from the police chief so he was busy with his career and her mom was busy helping him. it was the perfect time to do what she wanted since it was less likely she’d get caught

so she goes to this graduation party.....and it’s BAD like she gets fucked up & carried away so she calls her oldest sister ( who had come back into town for emi’s graduation ) to come pick her up & on the way to get emi from this house party, her sister ends up getting into an accident 

she didn’t die though JSBJDSBBWJDBWJDBJWDW just broke some stuff and ended up needing surgery ): and emi obviously got busted that night by her parents which ... wasnt pretty at all especially bc they low key blamed her for her sister’s accident which just made emi feel like pure shit babey ! 

visiting her sister in the hospital is what kinda sparked her fear of hospitals ! bc emi was like super guilty and paranoid that maybe her sister was gonna die or her surgery would go wrong and she’d essentially be at fault...it was just a lot of anxiety that turned into a genuine phobia of hospitals after that

but her sister made it she was okay and her dad used all the buzz and tragedy around his family to kinda boost his political career....which was ugly. her sister had been prescribed some pretty heavy pain killers for the pain & thats where things got.....messy

emi isnt sure when exactly it started but between the guilt she was harboring over her sister’s accident, the stress from her parents as her dad got further and further into virginia politics as well as college anxiety since she was about to start at the universoty of virginia.....she stole some oxy and thats what started what would be a very messy and tumultuous addiction  

as soon as she started college, emi felt as if some of the weight had been lifted. she was living away from her family for the first time and dorming so she promised herself she’d take these four years to grow and figure out who she is......except that didnt exactly happen. instead of exploring herself in a healthy way, emi was using drugs as a sort of escapism from her “old” self. she’s extremely smart and she loves her major, but her professors would often comment her papers had the energy of a “rambling and troubled mind”. by the time she was about to finish her sophomore year she was getting so high people would find her literally passed out in the dining hall. but no one was that worried bc for a good two years, she was a pretty high functioning addict. 

cue the summer after sophomore year when emi overdoses at a party. she woke up in a private hospital room with only her father sitting on the couch, the look on his face something she’ll never forget. while him and her mother knew exactly what happened to emi, they hadn’t told any of her siblings. or anyone at all, for that matter. instead her dad had informed the university emi would be taking a year off to privately study abroad and told emi that’s what she was going to tell people bc he’d just decided to run for mayor ! he essentially guilt-tripped her into thinking telling people the truth would be a selfish act, and one that would basically ruin the family reputation and make everyone really miserable JSDWDBWBDJW he also tells her she’s gonna be shipped off to rehab ! 

so she goes to rehab for a good seven months. everyone at school thinks she’s studying abroad in italy, and emi is literally just counting the days til she can go back home to her dorm bc she’s lonely !!! in rehab !!! and she gets that she should take it seriously but shes just so mad at her dad and herself and the world too ig ... just some good old fashioned angst ! but she finishes rehab and her dad got elected as mayor of her hometown in virginia and shes like good for u can i go back to school please JSBDWJDBJW and he says yes

so she’s back ! ready for the universe to give her a break.....ahaha.....

personality + tidbits

so emi......my baby......she’s a strange one. she’s that bitch that’s super nerdy but in the weirdest way like the stuff she’s into is so specific and just....generally stuff literally no one else would care about but to emi it’s like holy shit this is the coolest thing in the world JSBDJWBDJWBJD she knows a little about a lot so she has the tendency to come across as pretentious if you don’t know her outside of class when in reality she’s just read one too many random facts. also weird in the sense that she’s a STRONG believer in the paranormal and in aliens and in witchcraft and stuff like that as well as believing in things that seem “logical”. it can be confusing to people who view that stuff as silly that someone so smart would be into it. 

speaking of smart.....she’s a polygot which basically means she can speak a bunch of languages ! she’s self-taught, and since she’s a classics major some of her favorites to study include greek and latin ( dead language who ? ). she’s pretty chill about it though and if you wanted to learn she’d be the type that’s 100% down to teach you. she always learns the curse words first just you know....for the fun of it ! she probably has very specific “pet names” for everyone in the friend group in random languages 

anyway she’s also stupid. ASDJWBDWBJDBWJDWJD i mean like in the way that she makes the most .... impulsive decisions that usually have negative consequences. she’s the type to convince herself she knows exactly what she’s then come up with the worst plan you have ever heard in your life. an example of a dumb decision emi has made ? your girl ate a pot brownie the day after she got back in her dorm after rehab bc she convinced herself it was a good way to de-stress. some other dumb decisions include various drunk tattoos ( which thankfully haven’t been too bad save for the words eat me tattooed in small font on her ass ). also owns a stick & poke gun so she’s for sure tried to tattoo friends while intoxicated despite.....not being a tattoo artist ... she’s not even an art student .... SJBDJWBDJW....but she’s very very good at convincing people to join in on her dumb antics so be weary

big on photography !!! she loves taking pictures. always that one friend who reminds you to document the moment and you get annoyed but then when you want to post a picture on insta you’re thankful she was there <3 she has the energy of like .... the dad friend when you need support JSDBWBDJWBDJW she tries to be caring but it just turns into like ... emi high off her ass putting her hand on your shoulder and being like “you know fuck it man you’re amazing” not that good at the emotional stuff like she really wants to be but she legit doesn’t know how.......kinda accidentally turned into an emo kid bc she channels her feelings though some kick ass playlists and the notes app in her iphone instead of talking to people JSBDJWBJDBWJDBJ 

she’s high key struggling but she’s the type to be like no its fine this is fine life is a ride babey better hold on ! tries to keep things flirty and fresh 99% of the time but then you’ll witness the rare emi breakdown which.....involves a whole lot of tweets that will all be deleted within 24 hours and emi will in fact deny they ever existed

really a laid-back girl but the chaotic energy is there folks......she can also very easily get into her youngest child complex if she’s upset which just involves emi being a pain in the ass and everyone having to deal with it JSBDWBDJWBDJWBDJW  she likes to make it hard to say no to her.....not exactly manipulative but sometimes she can get close /: not listed in her fears but she is in fact scared of genuine love and affection ! it’s like she craves it so much she’s terrified abt what will happen if she ever gets it.......so she makes sure she’s never in danger of that by never getting into anything serious.....but then at night shes like damn . kinda want a freak to hold my hand rn and tell me they love me ... JSDBWBDJWBDJWBJDWJDW it’s all fun and games.............

ok thats it im done rambling.................this is so long..............and for what !!!!! i made her more of a clown than i intended but thats okay (: JSDBJWBDWJDBWJ emi might hate clowns but im embracing them !