#*goes back to a really old submission for Mike instead*

[standfortheangels]

“Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.” [brandon to mike!]

"Brandon! Hey! Over here!" Mike beamed as his favourite familiar face entered the cafe, and stood to greet him with a hug. It wasn't like it had even been days since they saw each other, but still, any lunch hour Brandon could get out of the hotel was such a blessing, he couldn't help but to smile like a child opening their birthday presents~ "We haven't started yet, you're just in time!"

"By 'just in time', he pretty much means he wouldn't let us start until you got here." Kate grinned at her brother's boyfriend as he stood taking off his jacket.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that~"

"Well I couldn't let you miss out on anything important~ Besides, we haven't been here that long. Come on, sit~"

Mike pulled out a fourth chair (almost over his own foot with his enthusiasm) for Brandon to sit on, between him and his most eccentric brother, Tyler, who greeted their guest with a smile and an upward twitch of his eyebrows.

"So uh, what's this club all about?"

"Mike didn't tell you?" Kate asked quizzically.

"He said he wanted it to be a surprise~" He smiled across at his still-beaming boyfriend, who nodded, bouncing his curls as he did.

"Oh, you'll be surprised alright~" Tyler smirked, leaning back in his chair as their sister finally got to setting up her little laptop on the table. "See, the three of us- as the most fitting Lucketts for the task- are on a mission. For evidence. On a potential... R. U. S. Nest." His slowed and emphasised delivery had Mike glancing back and forth between his boyfriend and his brother, waiting for a reaction. Although, it wasn't quite the excitement he was hoping for.

"You mean.. Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist."

Though his tone was polite as always, there were audible gasps as the three angels in the room all looked over to him at once. Kate's fingers hovered, now still, over the keyboard, and she turned her bright eyes across the table.

"Mike.... Is your boyfriend, a skeptic?"

"A what?"

"A non-believer." She whispered dramatically, quickly followed by the other blonde man at the table.

"You know, we only accept the most loyal mystery-hunters into team Beaver."

"Ew, what?" Kate leaned away from him. "We are not calling it that."

"Well you already said no to team rat and team sewer paws, I had to come up with something else~"

"No, no, you didn't. In fact, I make a motion that Tyler is banned from name-choosing."

"Aw come on-"

"Seconded." Mike chipped in, though offering their brother a short apologetic look. "Although for the record, I'd like to put forward The Night Eyes as our team name." He glanced across at Brandon with a glint of joy in his eyes. "I think that's the coolest name I've ever come up with, waiting to say it has been so hard."

"Rrright.. I'll add it to the notes here, we can vote on it later~"

"Thank you~"

While Tyler shook his head at the apparent injustice, Mike rested his hands on the slightly sticky surface of the table. "Back to the big picture here. Maybe we should show Brandon our leads. Maybe, with some more evidence- which we will get hold of eventually- you'll come to see what we mean." He grinned hopefully. It was kind of a ridiculous premise, on the one hand. But on the other... Well. A thorough investigation might just come up with something interesting down the line. And if they managed to capture whatever weird mutant creature had been going through their parents' bins at night, that ought to be convincing enough for any skeptic. Or at least provide a few neat camping/stakeout opportunities~

[screensirenfic]

Menthol Cigarettes - Chapter 47

Billy eventually left about a half hour later; having spent the best of that time trying to soothe me into submission with cold words and even colder caresses.

It worked to an extent; my tears having eventually dried up in the cotton of his lifeguard vest, my sobs racking down to soft sighs into the muscles of his pecs, but that didn’t mean I forgave him.

How could I; after all he’d done for me?

I’d accepted comfort from the only source I was used to receiving it from, but that didn’t mean I’d forgive him.

Instead I’d let him kiss me goodbye at the door, watching him disappear in his baby blue Camaro with promises of more tonight; though I’d never let him deliver upon it.

There was something wrong with him.

That boy; whoever he was, was not my Billy, and I was gonna find out why.

When the girls eventually emerged from Max’s room; I’d fully expected bleary eyes and rumpled PJs circa the slumber party at ours two nights ago.

What I hadn’t expected was for both girls to emerge fully dressed and raring to go.

“Hey; Lola! Can we have a ride?” Asked Maxine; marching across the kitchen with a scrunchie holding her wild red hair at bay at the top of her head.

“Already?” I replied; doing my best to force a smile as I fried up a second lot of bacon in the pan.

“But you haven’t even had breakfast yet-”

“I know , but we need to get to The Wheeler’s house. It’s urgent...” She urged; blue eyes wide as I began to catch on.

“How urgent are we talking?” I questioned, already dumping the pan back into the sink for the second time today.

“I’ll explain it all on the way...”

——————————————

“I didn’t think anything of it at first...”

Jonathan’s kid brother; Will was talking to us. Something about him living the real life experience of The Exorcist last year; which somehow neccesated a small gathering of Hawkins’ most clued in teenagers.

“I mean; I think I just didn’t want to believe it.”

He continued; and I just think I didn’t want to fucking believe I was here.

I mean; I was hearing out a group of fourteen year olds about monsters from a parallel dimension. But then again; I’d seen them with my own eyes, killed them too, and believe it or not, Will had more experience with them than any of us.

“The first time I felt it was at The Day Of The Dead...” He told us; referring to a weird feeling he’d been having all week that verged on the supernatural.

“The power went out that night too.” Mike; Nancy’s brother, pointed out; something I remembered far too well to consider at the moment.

“And then I felt it again at the field near Nelson Farm the next day.” He continued; and I tried not to read too far into it.

“And then again yesterday outside Castle Byers.”

“What does it feel like?” Max asked the all-important question, before we started jumping all into a basic case of the goosebumps for no damn good reason.

“It’s almost like... you know when you drop on a rollercoaster?”

“Yeah” The kids all replied in unison; all except El who let out a resounding “No.” that reminded me to book in a trip to the county fair into our future.

“It’s like... everything in your body is just shaking all at once, but this is worse...” He began; and I held back shuddering at the thought.

“Your body; it goes all cold, and you- you can’t breathe...” He explained, and I instantly went tense; a memory of cold fingers around my neck interrupting my thoughts.

“I’ve felt it before... when he was close...”

“Whenever who was close?” Max asked, but I already knew the answer to her question; dread welling up in my stomach like bile.

“The Mind Flayer.”

My body suddenly went cold; the name finally spoken out loud far more powerful and grim than the dark thought milling about my mind for the past twenty four hours.

“I closed the gate...” El reminded him; and I really wish it was enough to put my mind at ease.

“I know; but... what if he never left?” Will suggested; though I wonder how much of a suggestion it really was.

“And what if we locked him out here with us?”

The question was that hung in the air felt more like a statement of truth than anything I’d heard before.

He was still here. He was still with us.

[queermediastudies]

Putting the “Camp” Back in “Conversion Camp”

How But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) Makes a Comedy Out Of Conversion Therapy (And Whether or Not it Should)

Jamie Babbit’s cult classic, But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) paints a satirical portrait of what most queer youth fear most, conversion therapy. The titular cheerleader, Megan (Natasha Lyonne) is your typical all-American good girl. She goes to church, she never drinks, and she is even dating the high school football star. She is the kind of daughter that white, middle-class Americans dream of having, with one glaring exception. Megan is a lesbian. With the help of the self proclaimed “ex-gay” counselor Mike (RuPaul), her family and friends stage an intervention before shoving her off to True Directions, a conversion camp run by Mary Brown (Cathy Moriarty). Once there, she realizes that she is in fact a lesbian, one who is in love with her fellow camper, Graham (Clea Duvall). 

The film is hilariously over the top, hence it’s description as a camp classic. Babbit uses exaggerated gender roles to illustrate the intersection between gender performativity and sexuality. Unfortunately this decision to poke fun at heteronormative stereotypes come at a cost. Even the gay characters are uncomfortable stereotypes, and the film ignores any questions of intersectionality. Moreover, Babbit does not always handle the horrors of conversion therapy with the kind of tact and grace such a subject demands. Essentially, while the film attempts to show the ridiculousness of gay conversion, its use of stereotypes and one-dimensional characters lashes back to harm the very people Babbit is speaking on behalf of. 

One of the most easily recognizable problems with But I’m a Cheerleader is its overwhelming whiteness. There are all of four characters of color, and only one of those characters is a woman. Jan (Katrina Philips), the one woman of color, is treated terribly in the film. She shows up with a unibrow, dark mustache, shaved head, and baggy clothes. When she introduces herself, she smiles and says, “I’m Jan, and I’m a softball player, and I’m a homosexual” (00:14:36). Essentially, Jan is a lot of outdated stereotypes about lesbians put into one character. The twist, though, is that Jan is actually straight.

This is a good example of how Babbit attempts to tell an important message, but she fails to see the harm she causes while doing it. Jan’s character is essentially Megan’s foil. She is everything a “dyke” is supposed to be, except that she is not attracted to girls. Megan, on the other hand is a lesbian that completely defies all of the stereotypes that Jan encompasses. Both women are meant to discourage our tendency to make assumptions based on appearance. While that is a wonderful message, the problem is that Jan is the only woman of color. There is a definite lack of positive representation for masculine women of color, so there is nothing inherently wrong with having a black, butch character. However, black women are often portrayed as more masculine than white women in both fiction and non-fiction. One need only look at the conversations the media has had about Serena Williams or the New Jersey Four to see how black women are ascribed a level of masculinity that white women are not. In the film, this is exacerbated by the consistent assertion that Jan is ugly, which is never challenged by any of the characters. The motive behind Jan’s character was excellent, but it is clear that the consequences were not thought out. Babbit could have avoided the problematic elements of her character by adding in more women of color, giving the masculine stereotypes to a white character, or by having a conversation about how her blackness and dark facial hair affected how she was treated. Instead, the meaning of Jan’s character is one-dimensional, and she comes off as the butt of the joke rather than the harbinger of an important message. 

Jan is not the only character wrought with gay stereotypes. Andre (Douglas Spain) is the most stereotypically gay man in the film. Whether by coincidence or not, he is also a person of color. Regardless, his character is so stereotypical it is almost offensive. The boys are taught to play football, chop wood, and fix cars in the hopes that heteronormative activities will straighten them out, so to speak. Andre fails miserably at all of these tasks, which, again, is fine in concept. What is offensive is the way he flails about and shrieks in a way that is so unnatural it plays out like a bigot’s idea of what a gay man is really like.

There are other issues of intersectionality and representation that are not quite so garishly offensive. For example, Joel (Joel Michaely) is Jewish, and very devoutly so considering he is never seen with his yarmulke. The True Directions programs, however, is very Christian-oriented. This tension between the two religions is never addressed, and that is truly a shame. Moreover, race is not mentioned once. As previously mentioned, there are horrendously few characters of color. Even worse, however, is the fact that not one of them has a storyline that acknowledges the difficulties of being a gay person of color. The film is a comedy, so no one should expect an especially fruitful in depth analysis, but there is not even one or two off handed jokes about it. The fact of the matter is that the characters of color are not fully realized people. They are surface level representations that rattle off jokes. It should be acknowledged that pretty much all of the characters have this shallow level of development (such is the price one pays when creating a satire that makes such liberal use of stereotypes), but that is no excuse for not acknowledging how race plays a factor in homophobia and gender norms. Much of the movie is centered around learning how to “act straight”, but performances of gender and sexuality shift when different identities come into play. Harris and Holman Jones explain how intersectional performances play into feeling like a minority, “In “feeling queer,” racialized subjects intersect with religious, gendered and sexualized minoritarian subjects to “do” minoritarianism differently” (Harris and Holman Jones, 2017, p.574). In a film that is all about acting out the roles society demands, ignoring how people of color are expected to perform their minoriatarianism does an injustice to the topic at hand.

There is also a good bit of homonormativity, a concept that describes the push for queer people to fulfill heteronormative roles even in gay relationships. The three same sex couples we see in the film follow the general idea that one person in the relationship should be more feminine and the other more masculine, though some couples embody this concept more than others. Dolph (Dante Basco) and Clayton (Kip Pardue) are the couple that fit this mold the least, but one there are remnants of it in their relationship. Dolph is on the varsity football team, and Clayton is generally more demure and submissive. Unlike Dolph and Clayton, Graham and Megan fulfill their homonormative roles with a good amount of clarity. Graham is by no means butch, but she is more masculine than she is feminine, at least by society’s standards. She has short hair, she never wears skirts, and she has a tendency toward profanity and vulgarity. Megan, on the other hand, is, well, a cheerleader. She only wears skirts, she wears her hair long, and she spends most of the moving gasping at any mention of sex. Finally, there is the old gay couple, Lloyd (Wesley Mann) and Larry (Richard Moll) who are “ex-ex-gays” as the film calls them. Once again we see the more feminine half of the couple, Lloyd, performing typically feminine activities like setting up dinner and getting in touch with his emotions. Larry, on the other hand, is a curt, large, bearded man who is quick to anger. The two could easily fit in to any heterosexual sitcom. 

While domesticity is the goal for many queer couples, the film ventures into what Duggan (2002) calls, “equality politics,” (p. 44). Essentially, it is the trap that members of the gay community where they ask the powers that be for marriage and military equality. After that, they feel that there is nothing left to do, so they promise to depoliticize gay culture. Duggan describes them best when she writes, “These organizations, activists, and writers, promote ‘color-blind’ anti-affirmative action racial politics, conservative-libertarian ‘equality feminism,’ and gay ‘normality,’” (Duggan, 2002, p. 44). In it’s failure to acknowledge race and the enforcement of heterosexual roles onto gay characters, the film certainly demonstrates these equality politics and a message in favor of homonormativity.

Perhaps the most difficult to address issue with the film is the premise itself. It begs the question: should conversion therapy be used for comedy? Moreover, questions of how to do that respectfully arise, and, frankly, there were several instances where Babbit failed to do so. Babbit’s own history is important in understanding why she created a comedy about conversion therapy. She herself is a lesbian, and her mother worked at New Directions, a rehabilitation center for teens and young adults. Obviously, the name of the conversion camp, true directions, is a play on New Directions, and Babbit further explains the connection between her mother's career and But I’m a Cheerleader in an interview with Wheeler Winston Dixon. “So I'd always wanted to do a comedy about growing up in rehab, and the absurdity of that atmosphere. But I didn't want to make fun of twelve-step programs for alcoholism and drugs, because they really help people, but when you turn it into Homosexuals Anonymous, then I felt that was a situation I could have fun with” (Dixon, 2015, p. 2). Babbit likely felt that conversion therapy would be a harmless target because making fun of the programs and their leaders is not damaging to anyone. However, as we have seen with Jan and Andre, the queer community was not spared from the ridicule. Moreover, while belittling the programs themselves, Babbit made light of some truly traumatizing experiences. For instance, the teens are given electric wands, which they must use to shock themselves when they have “unnatural” thoughts. Pain-based aversion therapy is a very real, traumatizing experience that too many people have had to face. But I’m a Cheerleader makes a mockery of it by using it for a number of sex jokes and showing that it does not hurt that bad. Graham playfully shocks Megan with it, eliciting a yelp, but not much else. Another girl in the program, Sinead (Katherine Towne), proclaims that she likes pain. She is then shown in multiple scenes using the electricity as a masturbatory tool. There may be arguments in favor of this detail, perhaps that Babbit was trying to show how pain can be reclaimed and used for pleasure, but I personally find it tasteless. It is especially questionable since Babbit herself has never gone through that trauma. When creating gallows humor, one must examine if they are on the gallows or a member of the crowd. A person on the gallows who laughs is using humor to cope. A person in the crowd who laughs at the man getting hanged is simply cruel. It seems that Babbit believes that she, having experienced lesbianism, has just as much of a right to stories of conversion therapy as someone who actually experienced it. She does not. This is not to say that the premise of this film is off limits. Babbit simply should have been more careful in how she portrayed the horrors of conversion therapy.

But I’m a Cheerleader has the difficult job of being a breakout text. Cavalcante explains that a breakout text accomplishes three things, “ Breakout texts also generate three definitive breaks: (a) a break into the cultural main-stream, (b) a break with historical representational paradigms, and (c) a breaking into the every day lives of the audiences they purport to represent,” (Cavalcante, 2017, p. 2). It may have not been hugely successful, but it was popular enough to make its way into straight communities. Moreover, it breaks plenty of ideas of historic representation. Finally, it made its way into gay communities, and it has continued to live comfortably within them. This is why we need to be so hard on the film. As with anything that may be the foundation for someone’s knowledge about a topic (i.e. homosexuality, conversion therapy, gender non conforming heterosexuals, etc.) there is a responsibility to provide quality representations. Babbit sometimes fails to do so, and if that those failures are not examined critically, then harmful information will be mindlessly spread around.

As a pansexual woman, I am always looking for content that portrays strong, sapphic characters. I am also always on the fence about using tragedies to create humor. I am stuck between knowing that some people use humor to cope with trauma and wondering if people should be laughing at atrocities. That is what drew me to But I’m a Cheerleader. I enjoyed the film, in spite of its flaws, but I do have to say I was a bit hurt and disappointed. I am Latinx, and I have been teased about my dark facial hair in the past. Hearing Jan get torn into for her unibrow and mustache while the pretty, white women around her did nothing was really upsetting. Moreover, as someone who is undecided about particularly dark humor, I really do feel that Babbit was tactless in her making of this film. Still, there were elements that I truly loved. As mentioned in the title and the introduction, this film is beautifully camp. The 1950′s aesthetic that the straight people emulate obscures the setting of the film, and the garish colors tell a story all on their own. The gay men are forced to wear bright blue, and the lesbians are forced to wear pink. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, outside of the program wears brown, obscuring their own identities and showing just how they all fit in together. The set design is also used in a really stunning way. Every once in a while something, typically something that represents sex or genitalia, is placed in the background to remind viewers that the sexuality of the participants will never be erased.

When it comes down to it, But I’m a Cheerleader has heart, and it has a great message. It is immensely funny, and the characters are shallow but lovable. The film’s best attribute is that it shows that anyone can be gay or straight, regardless of our assumptions based on how well they perform gender norms. The criticism shown above should not discourage anyone from watching the film. Rather, it should encourage people to watch it while being able to recognize and accept the ways in which it can be hurtful. It can have harmful stereotypes, unhelpful ideologies, and tactless jokes, but it also has love, bite, and an abundance of humor.

References:

Cavalcante, A. (2017). Breaking Into Transgender Life: Transgender Audiences' Experiences With “First of Its Kind” Visibility in Popular Media. Communication, Culture & Critique, 10(3), 538-555. doi:10.1111/cccr.12165

Dixon, W. W. (2015). An Interview With Jamie Babbit. Post Script, 34(2).

Duggan, L. (2003). Equality, Inc. In The Twilight of Equality? Neoliberism, Cultural Politics and the Attack on Democracy (pp. 43-66). Boston: Beacon Press.

Harris, A., & Holman Jones, S. (2017). Feeling Fear, Feeling Queer: The Peril and Potential of Queer Terror. Qualitative Inquiry, 23(7), 561-568. doi:10.1177/1077800417718304

[mytalemyworld]

MEET MY NEW OBSESSION: RAHMET X DENIZ

Actually it isn't necessesary to write this title, since I've been only posting about them lately, you must have already known it. But, I haven't written a general review regarding this yet, so it's high time now. Well, what makes this couple so special? To answer this question, first I should talk about one of my most favorite characters.

Rahmet Elibol. A.k.a Shameless Lip. Turkish producers make remakes only because not being called as "thieves". Because a tv show like Shameless can not be properly remade in Turkey. So there were some major changes, especially in distinctive features, but in the end the general gist of the show remained the same. A drunkard, unresponsible father, a selfish, sick mother and six siblings who try to survive on their own because of their living conditions. I haven't watched Shameless but I liked Bizim Hikaye. Tho, I must say I continue watching it for Filiz and Rahmet. Filiz is the head of family, a queen bee and as for Rahmet, he is the big brother who always supports his elder sister and doesn't hesitate to look after his little siblings if she isn't there. It's not a coincidence that his name means "protector”.

We met him when he was eighteen. So smart, a little aggressive, headstrong, always thinking his family before himself. He was the top student in high school and his dream was to study physics engineering. Unfortunately his all dreams crumbled down when Filiz was sent to the prison so he had to work instead of going to the university to look after his siblings and bring home the bread.

But don't think of him as a meek, shy, good boy. In fact he reminds me of Mike in Suits. He is intelligent but using his mind for illegal things to just earn more and quick money. Therefore he doesn't hesitate to contravene the rules. For instance, he joined a math contest, if his team won, they would be rewarded with money, but when the rival group offered more money in exchange of the answer of the question, he chose to accept their offer.

But this is one of the best things of his story, I think. He doesn't do bad things just because he is insensitive. He wants to do the right thing but when everything becomes a mess he thinks he has no choice but to choose the wrong thing over the right thing. He also has own wounds, always carrying inside of him and never opens himself to anyone. On the day their mother died, he gave comfort to his siblings but when he was all alone in his room, he started crying silently. I think that's why I love him so much. He can be both strong and fragile at the same time.

And also he has perfect relationships with his siblings.

He and his elder sister Filiz are my favorites as I said thousands times before. Even when they argue, he accepts his mistakes and goes her side submissively. To him, Filiz is a flawless and perfect human-being (which I agree, she is one of the strongest female leads ever I've watched lately). As for Filiz, when something terrible happens, she always looks for Rahmet for his support. They are the most selfless ones in the family.

“Sis, as long as you stand behind me, I'll manage to do anything.”

And the relationship with his brother who is two years younger than him always brings to my mind Yağız and Sinan. 

They are half brothers but this truth has never changed their bond. Rahmet protects this stupid brother of him most. Maybe it is because he is also his best friend, he feels more responsible about him. Also when it's necessesary he is not reluctant to beat the shit out of him.

Hahahahahaha.

Well, if there wasn't love in his story, it would be incomplete. ;)

Look at these cuties... however this view can misguide you very much. Müjde a.k.a his first love is the biggest proof that he likes dangerous and a little crazy girls. She was his partner in crime but also they fought a lot. Tho, in the end they always managed to made peace. They had to say goodbye to each other in the end of the first season because she moved another city to go to college. But their seperation didn't cause devastation for anyone. Cause they were good friends before anything else. They had a lof ot sweet memories but that's all.

Now we are coming to the point I want to talk about.

Everything started changing when he went out from his safe neighborhood and stepped in a different world that is bigger and more twisted. He is about 19-20 years old now, carrying a lof ot burdens on his shoulders and trying to look so strong not to make his dear sister sad. His family thinks he goes to the university every day, but the truth is that he has been lying to them for months.

He met new people in this flashy world but one of them has turned his life upside down.

Deniz Çelik.

From the beginning they hated and belittled each other. Especially she despised this weird new cleaner boy at every turn. But he also fought back, didn't remain silent. Taking risk of being fired, he took her down a notch. For example, when Deniz ordered him to clean the trash she deliberately spilt on the ground, he threw her into the garbage bin straightaway!

Then gloves were off! Deniz could't stand his ignorance. Whereas the other guys are crazy for her, how come this guy, who is only a cleaner to her, can remain indifferent to her? To win this dangerous game, they absolutely ran circles around each other. But little did they know that the game started turning into a very real thing.

It was only physical attraction at first. Then something different happened.

To me, this scene caused the first real spark between them. When Rahmet lied in front of the university's discipline committee to prevent her from getting kicked out of the school and acted like her boyfriend, he looked like he saw some changes in her eyes. Like she was surprised to see that he could ever do something so dangerous for her just by his own will. If only they were really...but all these thoughts were harmful at that moment for her and she turned back her old arrogant self quickly and said "I'd rather get kicked out of school than being known as the girlfriend of a cleaner."

Ouch.

The words that killed the moment!

But, they were already at the point of no return. He was thinking of her more, he was worried about her, he was helping her... Though he couldn't name his emotions, hence he was getting closer with her sister Derin. He basically escaped from his feelings. But it was all vain. In the end he always found himself at that point he ran away from.

By Deniz's side. 

Then finally he realised that the very thing he feared was about to happen.

This scene is everything for me. When I watched for the first time, I was so surprised. Because it told us what was happening between these two broken young people and also what would likely happen.

While doing her school project she showed her cute lively side to Rahmet. Though she had her own agenda when she chose that project, her main goal was to confuse his mind. And to be honest she achieved that. 

“Seriously, where were you looking at here? You were staring passionately, angrily and with admiration. One only looks at someone they love in this way.”

At that moment he finally realized that he was falling in love with the girl he was supposed to hate and....

...she realized that this is more than a game, that this cleaner boy has the power to break her heart into pieces.

He knows this love only brings pain to him. He witnessed so many times that she despised him because he was a cleaner boy and also their interaction was only a game for her. He thinks he is just a trophy she wants to win. But little does he know she looks so sad whenever he denies his feelings for her.

But how long can he deny it? He broke up with her sister already. Now a possible romance is not forbidden. Though, this doesn't change the fact that the other girl still has feelings for him. But the main obstacle is not her. 

Their status difference, their shields, their fears, their prides...

But no matter what, in the end love always wins. Especially when they know they are so close to lose to the other party...

[nightingveilxo]

221Bloodnun’s Updated Rec List

Unless otherwise indicated, fics have an Explicit rating, and John is the Top and/or Dom. Categories: Daddy/Sugar Daddy, Captain, DomJohn, Librarylock, Arranged Marriage/Domestic Situation, A/B/O/, Historicals

Daddy and Sugar Daddy John Watson

A Sherlock In Pink by TheSherlocked (yes, me) Ch: 6/? Words: 12,839 WIP

John Watson is invalided home after his time in Afghanistan, a broken man with no real prospects, and a dwindling bank account. Former colleague Mike Stamford introduces him to the most unusual young man John has ever met, a tea shop owner that looks more like a runway model than anything else, but with a mind like a steel trap. An AU meeting, where John comes back into his own, and Sherlock learns some of the most valuable of life lessons.

Everything You Need by Sexxica Ch: 1 Wods: 6,272

Sherlock is the shy little thing that successful and wealthy Doctor Watson’s dreams are made of. Luckily, Sherlock could really use a Daddy in his life and a good bit of looking after.

Sugar Daddy John (series) by Sexxica Works: 7 Words: 22,504

The very best of Sugar Daddy John and his boy, Sherlock.

To A Tee by lookupkate Ch: 14 Words: 15,321

Sherlock receives a text from an unknown number. The man is under the impression that he needs a sugar daddy. After careful consideration…well, he could be right.

Follow Me Down by 221BeStillMyHeart (HighTimesWithHiddles) Ch: 10 Words: 67,725

Sherlock Holmes is a 23 year old genius working as a forensic analyst at Bart’s hospital. John Watson is a 38 year old army captain just back from war, working as the lead surgeon in the trauma ward. A chance meeting brings them together, and no one is ever the same.

A Kept Man Isn’t A Weak Man by Elphen Ch: 1 Words: 20,429 A/B/O

Sherlock is just out of university, but due to drug habits acquired at said college, Mycroft has cut him off, hoping to put a stop to it that way. Instead, Omega Sherlock struggles doubly, both with his cravings and with finding a job that will not bore him to death and support him financially. Then, when he is on the verge of being completely destitute, he finds several hundred pounds ticking into his account for no apparent reason. He thinks it’s Mycroft, but instead he receives an email from someone who promises to send him more money every fortnight and put him up in a flat rent free, on two conditions; he will stop taking drugs and he will occasionally be asked to be a companion for someone. He does not want to be bought like some toy, but what choice does he have?

A Suitable Stain by vitruvianwatson (keepyoueyesfixedonme) Ch: 1 Words: 7,647

John imagines what they must look like–the young, gorgeous university student, naked as the day he was born, draped over the well-dressed older doctor, the muscles rippling in Sherlock’s back as his slim hips roll that beautiful arse up into the air and back down again, his spine curving beneath John’s hand as he moves it to the small of Sherlock’s back to feel the movement. The hard outline of Sherlock’s cock slides back and forth across John’s body, dampening his clothes with precome, and John moves both hands down to Sherlock’s arse, squeezing and pulling him in harder.

Bespoke by consultingbluebell Ch: 1 Wods: 5728

Sherlock is not at all happy about having to wear a suit for an upcoming party, but he might just change his mind when he meets successful and talented tailor John Watson.

A Little Sugar Never Hurt Anybody by beautifullyheeled Ch: 3/? WIP Words: 11,223

Sherlock’s search for a quiet place to study gave him a whole new learning opportunity.

Breck Verse (series) by orphaned Works: 4 Words: 22,363 (Last story never completed, but doesn’t effect the completion of other stories.)Dr. Watson, world-renowned cardiac surgeon, accepts an invitation to be keynote speaker at a medical conference in Breckenridge, Colorado, a ski resort town in the Rocky Mountains. He meets a sexy young bartender at the opening dinner then spends the week making his baby happy.

Wrapped Around Your Finger by MojoFlower Ch: 4 Words: 27,308 (There is a bit too much top!lock at the end for my taste, but the beginning is good.)Virgin!Sherlock, 18 and just out of school, is in Morocco in the early 1900’s to learn about the ways of the world. Dr. John Watson, lately of the British Army and invalided out at age of 36, picks him up in the market place. Lessons (you know what kind) are taught and absorbed. Inspired by the song Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police. I’d say PWP, except there’s a soupçon of plot, given that it’s a story worked around the lyrics of the song.

Sugar Daddy John Verse series by Miss Lee Works: 2 Words: 6k

A hot little series about the successful surgeon Sugar Daddy John Watson and his angelic, slutty Twink Sherlock. Lots of sex. Just generally a good time.

Captain John Watson

Command Structure by 221b_hound Ch: 16 Words: 49,034 (I’ve read this one several times.)

Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them.But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect.John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Across Every Universe - Green Eyes at Rainbow Corner by Pmzilla Ch: 21  Words: 21,505 Based on a prompt I created about the WWII song Green Eyes

Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a Naval Lieutenant at American Red Cross Club in London, Rainbow Corner to find out whether the plans for the D-Day Invasion have been compromised by an American Colonel. Whilst investigating, he meets the captivating Capt. John Watson, who finds himself centre stage in both the dance club and Sherlock’s investigation.

Cadet Holmes: A Detective Undercover by Talizora Ch: 1 Words: 6,388

Sherlock took a deep breath and reached out to lightly brush his fingers across the heavy fabric of the uniform. The shudder that rocked through his whole body was entirely involuntary and hateful. He needed to get over this reaction fast because if he was this affected by an empty uniform on a bed how would he deal with being surrounded by fit men wearing the uniforms while they got hot and sweaty.

Captain, My Captain (Part I of The Stripper Diaries series) by twistedthicket1 Ch: 1 Words: 7,845Sherlock Holmes walks into a strip club for a case. He winds up leaving with more than he bargained for…

Night Song (Niht Drēam) by Bashfulbunny (Aequoreavictoria) Ch: 15/? WIP Words: 15,579 A/B/OBattle hardened alpha John’s self-discipline is tested by his overwhelming attraction to Sherlock, a young prisoner-of-war omega in need of his protection and care.

Captain Watson by Sexxica Ch: 1 Words: 5,144Sherlock is bored and it is driving John insane. Time for Captain Watson to take charge.

Surrender (Part II of the Unwind series) by illwick Ch: 3 Words: 13,506

Sherlock and John take a stab at negotiating a kink. Three rounds of filthy smut ensue. (Includes gunplay)Dom!John/sub!sherlock BDSM Lifestyle

A Little Help from my Friends by Ttime42 Ch: 28 Words: 140,776In a world where everyone identifies as either a dominant or a submissive, Sherlock is having a rough time moving on from a bad relationship and has sworn off doms forever. John has recently returned to London from war and has a fortuitous run in with an old friend in a park. Sherlock and John’s lives are changed forever because of that chance meeting, and they’ll both find their way through life with a little help from their friends.

Shames and Praises by s0mmerspr0ssen Ch: 7 Words: 51,919

Unable but desperate to find a dom who will put up with him, Sherlock swallows his pride and turns to Mycroft for help. Shortly after, John Watson steps into Sherlock’s life.

Librarylock Collection of Clues by ianavi Ch: 1 Words: 8,922 (I’ve read this one several times.)

There was no sleeping that night. And not due to the awkward stammering in the stacks of the library. Or the phrasing of what felt as a sudden dismissal. All Sherlock could think about was John’s gaze on his neck, lips, reddening cheeks. How heated he felt under that gaze, how alone when John left. He was itching with desperation to not just be looked at but also touched. It was juvenile fantasy. But he was alone in his bedroom, it was past midnight, and he could indulge. He imagined John’s hand reaching to touch his cheek, his fingers brushing his lips. He buried his head into the pillow and groaned. Could John ever see him like that, ever want him?

A Study In Flirting by GubraithianFire Ch: 1 Words: 5,885

Sherlock is the new librarian at the university library. John is bad with pick-up lines.

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier Ch: 1 Words: 18,115

Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it’s unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.

Careless by lookupkate Ch: 15 Words: 23,652

Sherlock is an eighteen year old student working at a library. John is an army medic sent back to London after an injury. He’s spending a lot of time at the library working on his PhD. Sherlock decides he wants to fuck this mystery student, so he initiates a sexual relationship. He doesn’t really do emotional attachment anyhow, and if he tells John he’s twenty three, what’s the harm? It’s not like he’ll want John to stick around. Right? Right?!?Sherlock done fucked up.

360.5 by justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic) Ch: 6 Words: 18,761

One would think that working as a page at the university library would be relatively peaceful, but what John spies through the gap in the shelves changes his mind.

Arranged Marriage or Domestic Situation

The Bachelor’s Handfasting by Jberry Ch: 20 Words: 20,625 (Sherlock is the smolest gay baby in this one, John is an older widower, and I have probably read this fic a dozen times.)

After her son is caught in a compromising position, Victoria Holmes must make arrangements for a quick marriage between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

A Human’s Prize by clearinghouse Ch: 2 Words: 22,232 (Sherlock is a smol merman, John is a bamf!, and I’ve read this one several times.)

Prince John is a well-travelled man of the world, and yet even he is taken aback when a beautiful merman is delivered to the doorstep of the castle. Despite the helpless creature’s fear of him, John resolves to be the best host he can be for his adorable new guest.

Il Traviato by kedgeree Ch: 18 Words: 68,809 (It’s much like Pretty Woman, but Sherlock and John are very in character.)

A down-on-his-luck ex-soldier meets a wealthy businessman in need of a short-term companion

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria Ch: 27 Words: 95,159 (Another I’ve read several times.)

Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.“The essentials of their relationship distilled through solitude.”–review by Alicat

A/B/O

Siege by PlainJane Ch: 17 Words: 55,410In 1415, English archer John of Kenilworth is sent by Lord Mycroft Holmes from the field of victory at Agincourt to protect a remote French castle. Cherinfourde is under some dark cloud and John means to get to the bottom of it, in his lord’s name. If only he could stop thinking about the most unusual omega he has ever met.

Loving Care by Elphen Ch: 3 Words: 22,124AU, Omegaverse, Modern times with Edwardian social structure.

Omega Sherlock, out of options for another job, goes into the traditonal Omega occupation of male nurturer. His very first job is taking care of 16-month-old Hamish, son of the highly respected, socially connected widowed doctor, Alpha John Watson. He grows to love the kid very quickly, which he hadn’t expected, nor did he expect to fall for the Alpha quite so hard. Much as they hit it off, though, and whatever behaviour John exhibits, Sherlock knows that they are too far apart socially, even without John still being in love with his wife. His time is limited. Isn’t it?

A House in the Country by PlainJane Ch: 11 Words: 20,085

With new “real rape” laws in place, every unbonded omega is at risk, including Sherlock Holmes. He needs someone to help protect him and hide his true nature, but John Watson may be more of a problem than a solution.

Historical AUs (That don’t fit the categories above)

Basically anything by Holly Sykes (Artemis8147)

An English Jazz Player in Chicago by alyxpoe Ch: 16 Words: 29k

Sherlock is a young musician trying out to play with a band in the Blue Room, the best jazz club of Chicago in 1925. John Watson is a older private detective just trying to get by, and determined to keep this beautiful young man at bay--until a murder investigation brings them together, and John can’t deny how he feels. Period-typical homophobia and racism (not from Sherlock or John).

This Man’s Heart by ellie_hell Ch: 24 Words: 72,991

In the latter part of the 19th century, a peculiar solitary man and an ex-army doctor disfigured at war live in a small village, surrounded by breathtaking landscapes. When they first meet, they have no idea their lives are about to change forever and, over the months, they will form an unusual friendship, discover more about each other and themselves, and maybe fall a little in love along the way.

Against All Odds by ravenscar Ch: 34 Words: 126,088 (Read three times, and the quick summary does not do it justice.)

When a Crusader crosses paths with an enigmatic young Briton in the Holy Land, their lives are changed forever.

The Royal Caravan by Service Revolver Ch: 10 Words: 53k

Sherlock, a mere servant, is stunned when the powerful, magnificent King John offers Sherlock the opportunity to join him on a journey. At first, it is exciting for Sherlock to serve such a strong, gallant man, but what is a servant to do when he falls in love with a king, especially when that king must someday sire a rightful heir?

Proper Manners also by Service Revolver Part I of King William’s Castle series. Ch: 2 Words: 40k

Sherlock Holmes is a charming—if somewhat eccentric—nobleman who often spends time with John, an apothecary’s son. When John is offered employment at King William’s castle, however, he fears he will have to say goodbye to Sherlock. But in the end, they might actually become closer than before.

[archivednerdfics]

Here’s part 2 of my Babysitter Steve drabbles! Each was inspired by a prompt that was sent to me based off of a bunch of prompt lists I reblogged on my main blog @lizzysong (prompt submission are still open over on my main if you want to send some, too). I hope you enjoy these!

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Prompt: Gah! Stay away from me!…who are you anyway?” Concussed Steve with temporary amnesia and the kids plus hopper

As he slowly came to conciseness he realized everything hurt. His ribs were definitely bruised, if not broken, his face was throbbing – especially his nose, which he was sure had to be broken judging by the way it hurt, and his head just felt… strange. It was more than a headache, and it felt different than that, too.

He groaned softly and slowly began to bring his hand to his head but stopped when he felt a tug from something that seemed to be attached to the back of his hand. He sighed and let his hand rest of his chest instead.

“Guys, I think he’s waking up,” a voice said, and Steve’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“I’ll get Hopper,” a different voice responded to the first one, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing.

“…Wha–…?” Steve rasped out as he blinked open his eyes.

“Hey, buddy…” a kid with curly hair said, leaning over and looking down at him with concern, “How you feelin’?”

Steve looked up at the boy who he didn’t recognize as Dustin, confusion clear in his expression.

“…Wh–who are you…?” he asked, earning an even more worried look from the boy.

“Steve… It’s me. It’s Dustin. …Don’t you recognize me?”

The door opened before Steve could answer and another boy walked in, a man following close behind him.

“Hey, kid,” the man said, walking over to Steve.

“Woah, woah, woah!” the boy said, pushing himself up in bed, “Stay away from me!” He looked around now, taking in his surroundings, and saw two more kids at his side – a girl with long red hair and a boy who’s hand she didn’t seem to be letting go of. “…Wh–who are you people…? Why am I in the hospital? What the hell is going on?!”

“Kid, listen to me,” Hopper said calmly, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a hand on the boy’s leg in a comforting, fatherly way, “You had the shit beat out of you last night. That’s why you’re here, and that’s also why you don’t know any of us right now. But you’re gonna be fine – it’s temporary. Your memories will come back.”

Steve was still a little hesitant of the group surrounding him, but he relaxed a little, “…What did I do?”

“You protected us,” Lucas said, and Steve gave him a confused look.

“…I– I did?”

“Yeah,” said Mike, and Max and Dustin both nodded in agreement.

That earned a little more trust from the older teen; why would these kids lie to him about him protecting them?

“You’re gonna be okay, Steve,” Hopper said, patting the boy’s leg and standing up, “You just gotta give it some time, and get some rest. Okay, kid?”

Steve nodded a little – which caused his head to spin – and lowered himself back into the pillows. Whoever these people were, they were a lot nicer to have around than his parents; and he kinda liked them.

“Yeah…” he said his eyelids drooping a little, “Okay…”

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Prompt: “Who told you that?” Steve and the kids after they find out Steve was actually in the AV club when he was in middle school lol

Max stopped in front of a trophy case as she was walking to one of her classes, a fairly large photo behind the glass catching her eye. It was next to a trophy from several years ago that the AV club of the time had won from some kind of science fair. She stared at the photo for a minute, narrowing her eyes before they suddenly widened in recognition. “…Oh my god!” she said with a laugh before running off to find the boys.

“What is it?” Mike asked with slight irritation in his voice as Max lead him, Dustin, Lucas, and Will.

“Look at that picture,” she said, pointing to the photo she’d been staring at earlier, “Do you recognize anybody?”

The boys all leaned in to see the picture clearer and stared at it for a minute before Lucas turned to face Max with a shocked expression, “Is that…?”

Max nodded, smirking. “Boys,” she said, “I present to you: Steve Harrington – captain of the AV club.” _______________

Steve picked them up later that day, having agreed to watch them and El after school, and was met by five knowing smirks.

“Okay, what did you dipshits do now?” he asked.

“Nothing special,” Mike said from the backseat of Steve’s car, “Some stuff in AV club got pretty heated; but you know how that goes.” The kid couldn’t seem to wipe the smirk from his face and it was starting to unnerve the older teenager.

“Uh… Okay…” Steve said.

No one said another word for the rest of the ride to the cabin.

Once inside the cabin, Mike pulled El aside and whispered what they’d found out in her ear, earning an amused smile from the girl.

“Hey Steve?” Dustin said casually as the group sat around the TV, watching one of El’s soap operas.

“Yeah?” Steve responded, looking at the younger boy.

“Were you in any clubs when you were in middle school?”

The older teen raised a suspicious eyebrow, “I don’t really remember. Why do you care, anyway?”

“Well,” Lucas said, “We found out something pretty interesting today…”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Just that you were in AV club,” Will said with a smile.

“Wha– Who told you that?!”

“I found the picture,” said Max, smirking mercilessly, “You won a trophy, captain!”

“…Shit. I knew that would come back to haunt me some day. Yeah, I was in AV club–”

“–You were the Captain of AV club,” Mike corrected, “Guess we have more in common than we thought.”

“Fine,” said Steve, “I was the captain of AV club. And if any of you little shits tell anybody, you’re dead; got it?”

They nodded, still smiling even after the threat.

“…Did you like it?” El asked after a minute.

“It was alright,” said Steve, with a shrug.

“Yeah,” Dustin said, “He liked it. –Why the hell didn’t you tell us?!”

“It was a long time ago. I didn’t think it was important.”

“Not important?! Steve, this is huge! You’re one of us!!”

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes, trying to hide a small smile and failing miserably, “…Yeah. Guess so.”

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Prompt: “I need a hug and I think you do too” Steve and Dustin

It was ten o'clock and Steve was waiting in the same spot where he’d dropped Dustin off at the Snow Ball a few hours earlier. He was standing outside, leaning against the passenger-seat door when Dustin walked out of school to meet him. Something seemed a little off about the kid, and Steve was quick to notice.

“Hey, kid,” the teenager said with a small smile, which Dustin half-heartedly returned.

“Hey,” was all the younger boy said before going next to Steve and also leaning against the car.

They stood in silence for a minute before Steve spoke again, “…What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem… Weird.”

Dustin shrugged, “Just tired.”

Steve sighed and gave the boy a knowing look,

“Dustin…”

“…It didn’t work…”

“What didn’t work?”

“Anything. …Nobody wanted to dance with me… Except Nancy, and that was just ‘cause she felt sorry for me. …Girls are really mean, Steve.”

The older teenager sighed again and ruffled the younger boy’s hair, giving him a sympathetic look.

“I know, kid,” he said, “but you’ll find a good one someday. I promise.”

As he said this, he caught a glimpse of Nancy beginning to help clean up the gymnasium and felt a lump involuntarily rise in his throat.

Dustin noticed Steve looking at Nancy and hesitated for a couple seconds before leaning over a wrapping the older teenager in a tight hug, making him jump slightly in surprise.

“…O-oh..!” Steve said before wrapping his arms around the younger boy in return, “…What’s this for?”

“I just really need a hug right now… and I think you need one too.”

“Thanks, kid,” Steve said. He smiled a little, sadly, and tightened the hug slightly before letting go of Dustin.

“…What do you say we go get something to eat?” he said after a few seconds.

“Really?” Dustin asked, looking up at his honorary big-brother, who gave him a smile.

“Yeah. I think we both could use some junk food right now – we can call your mom from wherever we eat and let her know you’ll be home a little later.”

The younger boy smiled and nodded a little, “Yeah; sounds good.”

The two got into the car, and after a few minutes of driving in silence, Dustin looked over at the eighteen-year-old who was driving. “…Thanks Steve,” he said.

“Any time, kid,” Steve said with a small smile and ruffled the kid’s hair.

Dustin smiled back at his brother-like friend, and then leaned back into his seat. It may have been a rough night, but at least he knew he could count on Steve to help him out; and he hoped that Steve knew that Dustin was there for him, too.

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Prompt: “Beautiful” with Jane gawking at how pretty Steve is (especially his hair) and Steve being the only one to let her touch/play with his hair *including lowkey!jealous Dustin cause he’s Steve’s brother lol* & “Pretty” El and Steve with her gawking over how pretty he is and he only lets her mess with his hair

She’d always like how different his hair was from all the other boys she knew. It was thick and fluffy, and it was sort of like petting a long-haired cat. She also took pride in the fact that she, El Hopper, was the only person that Steve Harrington would let mess up his hair. The first time he’d let her mess up his hair was the night she’d closed the gate. Hopper had brought her back to they Byers’ home, and immediately had her sit down on the sofa, knowing that she was more exhausted than he could possibly comprehend. That was when she met Steve properly.

He was already sitting on the sofa when she sat next to him, clearly much worse off than he had been earlier that night.

“…What happened?” she asked after hesitating for a moment, pointing at his face full of bruises and dried blood.

“Just an asshole,” the boy answered.

“Mouth breather,” El said with a sympathetic look.

Steve laughed slightly at that, “Yeah. I’ll be fine, though.”

El nodded and leaned into his side a little, tiredly. There was something about him that made her feel safe; it felt like it did with her sister… before everything that came between them, and she looked up at him with a small, tired smile.

“…Pretty,” she said, reaching up running a hand through his hair, taking him by surprise and making him laugh slightly.

After that every time El saw him, she made him let her touch his hair. He didn’t mind. He knew she’d been through hell, even if he didn’t totally understand it, and if messing up his hair made her happy, then who was he to tell her no. …It didn’t hurt that it irritated Dustin, either.

“Oh my god, stop!” Dustin said when El pet Steve’s head for the fifth time that day. They were all at the cabin, Dustin, Steve, El, Mike and Will squeezed together on the sofa, and Lucas and Max sharing an armchair. El and Steve exchanged a confused look at Dustin’s outburst, and then moved their gaze to Dustin.

“Stop what?” Steve asked.

“She keeps petting you like a dog or something, it’s annoying!”

The older teen just shrugged, “Doesn’t bother me. She’s just a touchy person.”

El nodded in agreement and Dustin rolled his eyes, “You don’t let anyone else touch your hair though.”

“Yeah, no shit. Then it would just be weird.” “Why do you wanna touch Steve’s hair so bad?” Max asked, trying (though not very hard) to suppress a laugh.

“I don’t! It’s just the principle of the thing. If El can do it, then we should all be aloud to do it!”

“Yeah, well, we make exceptions for El,” Steve said with another shrug, making El smile and everyone but Dustin laugh.

El was genuinely fascinated by the oldest teen’s hair, and she found a certain kind of comfort in brushing her hand through it once in a while. And she couldn’t help but feel a little smug with the knowledge that she was the only one aloud to touch his hair, especially given Dustin’s reaction.

[thelondonfilmschool]

INTERVIEW with Newcastle-based and one-of-a-kind filmmaker: Benjamin Bee

Writer/Director Benjamin Bee graduated from London Film School in 2015 and moved back to his home town of Newcastle Upon Tyne, where he’s continued to hone the unique brand of personal- tragi-comedy which has seen his films screened at some of the world’s biggest film festivals and attracted the likes of Mike Leigh to his Crowdfunding videos. Ben turns his own life story into art, and it’s not hard to see why – within minutes of meeting him I’d been told an anecdote involving an axe, a crazed lunatic and a carton of banana milkshake. Below is the publishable version of Ben’s take on the North-South divide, his time at LFS and what it is that makes his ‘bonkers’ stories so universal.

S.M: Can you tell me a bit about your life before applying to London Film School?

B.B: I left school in Newcastle when I was 14 without any qualifications, and then I went to an access to college course. They did photography and had an old, broken VHS video camera, and with the people that I met there we started making comedy, stupid little films. They were unscripted, and weirdly I used that to get into the University of Westminster to do Contemporary Media Practice. That was in 2002, and then at the end of that course I made a short film called The Plastic Toy Dinosaur, which was produced by Rob Watson who’s an NFTS producing grad who’s doing really well now. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, I wrote it when I was 21 and I directed it when I was 22. I moved back to Newcastle and started working in a bar, but I hated it and I was miserable and the only thing I realised I had was this short film. I didn’t know about anything, I didn’t even know Cannes or Sundance existed. 

So, I just started entering it in places that I found and one of them was the BBC3 New Filmmaker of the Year Award. There were tons of submissions and they selected it down to the last ten. It was actually a really good year – Alice Lowe had written and starred in one of them, and Sean Conway had a film as well, he writes for Ray Donavan now. It was nice because people started to screen the film and it seemed like they liked it and it resonated with audiences, but I still had no idea what I was doing and I was incredibly naïve. I mean, seriously dyslexic and had the reading and writing age of an 8-year-old. Not going to school probably didn’t help. So, I was kind of lost. I started working a theatre box office and I worked, like, 60 hours a week and tried to save money. And then I saw a Skillset bursary advertised. I’d always looked at LFS but I couldn’t afford the fees, but eventually after I’d saved some money from my job I applied and I got the bursary.

S.M: What did applying for that involve?

B.B: It’s based on previous work and it’s means tested so you basically have to be poor and talented, or at least fake them into believing that you have some form of talent (laughs). I think I had something to say, coming from a slightly different background, and all my stories are weirdly personal. You go in front of a panel and when I got called back I literally cried like a small child. And then I went to LFS! It was interesting and difficult and there were people from so many different walks of life. I learnt the craft of filmmaking – I tried to eat up everything. 

The most important thing for me was the people – you’re surrounded by people who are really passionate about film. It’s two years surrounded by people who’ll put a lot of effort in, and I met a lot of people who had a lot of fun making films that I’m really proud of. I did a film called Step Right Up when I was there, which was my Term 4 exercise. We had 36 minutes of film stock to make a nine-minute film and it was screened at 40 film festivals. We got long-listed for the BAFTA, which means we were down to the last 10 or 15, which had never been done before by a fourth term film. It was huge.

S.M: What do you think it was about that film that made it so successful?

B.B: I make comedies and they’re personal. I’ve never really struggled with getting films into festivals because I don’t try to make arduous bulls**t. It’s personal, and also I’m not the most masculine man but I know lots of masculine men who do have feelings, and everybody has a shared experience of feelings and pain so there’s nothing that makes even the most masculine, awful guy not sensitive. A lot of my films are about paternal bonds or absent father figures, because my dad left and he was an utter c***. So, I’ve got a lot of things like that, that kind of resonate. 

My new one’s about something that genuinely happened, which was when my dad left when I was five and my mum decided to take me and my brother out of school and take us to Metroland, which is a theme park in Newcastle. My brother went on the dodgems but I was too little, so I had to go on the merry-go-round. It was amazing, and I was on a big white horse going round and round. Every time I’d come round I’d see my mum just stood there in floods and floods of tears, and then I’d go past her, and I could see my brother having the best time ever. That’s an analogy for my relationships with my siblings! I think if you say things that are deeply personal then they’re always going to do much better than things that aren’t you. When I started in term one and term two, I started trying to make stuff to look more “intelligent”, and then I realised that it wasn’t making me at all happy. So, by term four I made something ridiculous and by graduation I made a film called Sebastian which was a horror comedy which was also a bit nuts.

S.M: Was it always your plan to go back to Newcastle after graduation?

B.B: The day I handed my grad film in I went for a meeting to direct a pilot taster for Baby Cow, Steve Coogan and Henry Normal’s company. I got that, and I brought Yiannis (Manolopoulos, fellow LFS student and cinematographer) in, it was written by a friend of mine, Dan Mersh, who was also in Step Right Up, Plastic Toy Dinosaur, Sebastian and Mordechai. And that was really good because I got to meet Henry Normal, who was the managing director of the company. He’d written the Royle Family, Mrs Merton, he’d produced some of my fave TV shows, including the Mighty Boosh … He loved it. but Channel 4 didn’t pick it up. Then I moved back to Newcastle, in 2015, and broke my ankle running for a train! I was in a cast for over a year. 

Then I applied to the Jewish Film Fund for my film Mordechai, I’m not actually Jewish but the film’s subject is. It’s doing really well, it’s got into Palm Springs, BFI London Film Festival, and various others. It’s about these identical twins, one of which has left the community and one of whom has stayed at home. There’s an ultra-orthodox community in Gateshead and it’s quite insular and interesting. So, I developed a story about, what if one of them had left and then had to come home for a reason? The dad dies and the other brother comes home and he has to go and pick him up. They’ve got very different life choices – one brother’s dressed in black and the other turns up wearing tie-dyed hippy shit. He’s still Jewish but in his own way. Mordechai is really happy and charming and Daniel, who stayed at home, is a bit more down-trodden and miserable. Then Mordechai drops dead and Daniel makes the decision to body swap and becomes Mordechai and goes to his own funeral. It comes out the end quite positive but it’s also quite emotional!

S.M: You work a lot with producer Maria Caruana Galizia – is she someone you met through LFS?

B.B: No, she’s from Malta. She moved to Newcastle after living in Scotland for a while (I think), and there’s very few producers here. I met her at a networking event – she liked something I’d made, I liked something she’d made and we just decided to try and apply for stuff. She’s fu***ng awesome, super talented and incredibly hardworking. Also, she puts up with me…

S.M: Do you find that being based up in Newcastle has its pros and cons?

B.B: It really does. The benefits are that you can shoot anywhere for dead cheap but crewing’s impossible because every good member of crew’s doing Vera or The Dumping Ground. There’s swings and roundabouts. It’s beautiful, and has a better quality of life but there is definitely a massive divide. All the work’s in London, all the agents are there.

S.M: Do you manage to make a living out of the work you’re doing at the moment?

B.B: I’m a very cheap human being. It’s difficult when you start out because a lot of the stuff that you’re doing, like the shorts, aren’t going to make any money unless you start winning prize money. I’m at the stage now where it’s a little bit easier because I can apply for funding for development from the BFI etc. That’s what I’m applying for at the moment. I’m doing a project with Henry Normal, a documentary on him and his poetry. I’m also just finishing Metroland and I’m really, really happy with it, but I’ve got no idea how it’s going to go down ‘cause it’s a bit mental.

S.M: How did you get Mike Leigh to appear in the crowdfunding promo?

B.B: He pops up in it, and basically the whole joke is that the film’s kind of like Weekend at Bernie’s, but imagine Weekend at Bernie’s if it was directed by Mike Leigh. You see the door open and it’s Mike Leigh going “Ben, can you stop phoning and emailing me and if you give me another copy of Weekend at Bernie’s …” (laughs). 

I sent him an email going, “Hi Mike! Creative England are insisting that I do Crowdfunding and I really don’t wanna do it, so instead of making a video in which everybody’s positive, I want to make a video where everybody’s really negative about the experience.” He said yes without questioning it for a second… When I shot the video with Mike it was me, Yiannis and Eoin Maher, who did Filmmaking at LFS as well, and Mike who was just really hilarious. It was a lot of fun. Mike’s always been incredibly kind and supportive. He’s got a really good sense of humour. It’s the thing I love about his work to be honest.

S.M: Have you found it cathartic making such personal work based on your own life?

B.B: Unless you’re very good at what you do, this is just my advice, you can hide everything but what you do has to at some point be personal and resonate. Deconstruct any movie ever, like every movie Wes Anderson ever made is basically about his father walking out on his family, even though you don’t always realise it. It’s all about masculinity. It’s that thing that all your faults are your strongest features. I definitely find it therapeutic and I definitely think you deal with stuff. Spielberg says that it’s the only job where you get paid for therapy. I think that’s a great quote because it’s true in a way. Especially if you can’t afford therapy!

S.M: What do you think was the most important thing that LFS taught you?

B.B: The main revelation was that, whenever anybody goes into anything, doesn’t matter if it’s school, college or university, everybody comes in with a competitive nature that they’re going to be the best. Being competitive with yourself and wanting to make the best work is amazing, that’s the best way to be. But anybody else, whether they’re a director or whatever, should be your friends and your peer group, people that will help you. You basically have a support network with other filmmakers. That was really helpful, because it felt like you had a cheerleading squad and you could also do it for other people and you’d be really grateful. And that’s the industry – you’re not really in competition because nobody’s going to make the same film as you. You learn that very quickly at LFS because there’s people making such different work and you can really appreciate it. Then those people can come and work and collaborate on something you’re making, and you make something different and everybody learns from each other. Definitely the international vibe really helps as well. I was one of very few Brits and that was really nice, because obviously in Newcastle it’s mostly just people from there. In my term I had Yiannis from Greece, Pauline who was French, Rodrigo who was Mexican, Habib who’s American … it was really nice. I enjoyed it. Everybody’s great! Working with happy, positive people who feel comfortable in a nice environment is what makes the best work. And I think that’s what comes from having so many passionate people at LFS. It was a life-changing opportunity.

[thecompostpile]

Night 8 of the 31 Nights of Hallowicked

Night 8 

12 Large Summit: Hallowicked vs Claudio Castagnoli 

The Case of The Bullet Proof Waldo

6/24/2011

 Chikara comes off as one of the most underrated rosters in all of wrestling. When you look at the amount of talent that has wrestled in Chikara it is insane. There are a lot of reasons why this could be. Some people might think it is too goofy, it may also be because talents wear a mask while they get good only to get a larger audience on them when they remove their mask. I’m not sure and this isn’t really what this blog is about so I am going to move onto the most famous of all Chikara regulars Claudio Castagnoli or you may know him as Cesaro. One of the best wrestlers in the world and even though most people rate him highly he is still one of the most underrated wrestlers in the world. 

Hallowicked and Castagnoli have faced off a few times and I might do their other match from a few years back. This one is from the 12 Large Summit a round-robin season-long tournament to declare the first-ever Chikara Grand Championship. I actually haven’t watched much from this tournament besides the finals so I ended up watching all three of the tournament matches from this card which were Sara Del Rey vs Icarus, Fire Ant vs UltraMantis Black and the match I’ll be writing about Hallowicked vs Claudio Castagnoli. I am actually pretty interested in this tournament and will be recapping at least one more match from it but that is for another time. 

Hallowicked is sporting one of my favorite masks of his, it is black with orange jack-o-lantern facial feature and looks the most like a pumpkin with a large orange stem coming out the top. How Hallowicked’s mask has changed over the years is actually a very interesting thing to think about. His mask now is silver with red facial features and while still plenty spooky he barely looks like a pumpkin anymore. Claudio looks exactly how he always looks. Barely changed in the last 8 years since this match. 

When Gavin Loudspeaker introduces these two he lists off all of their accomplishments in Chikara and hoo-boy is there are alot of them. Claudio has held the tag titles 2 times and wrestled in 15 different countries while Hallowicked is the first Young Lions Cup winner and has been called the greatest Wrestle Factory student and man I don’t know if I could think of anyone better. 

Hallowicked also has super cool black pants with pumpkins on them. He slams on the ring and it seems like everyone is really behind him. Claudio quickly overpowers Hallowicked and presses his face up while in the corner, the ref counts. Hallowicked does the same to Castagnoli but when he goes to break the count Claudio hangs onto him.

They lock up again in the middle of the ring and quickly end up on the ground. Claudio has Hallowicked’s arm pinned behind him. Hallowicked works his way out and the two end up standing and battling for leverage. Claudio goes after the mask of Hallowicked trying to shift it to make it harder for Wicked to see. Claudio then uses the mask to pull Hallowicked to the ground. The two continue to fight over twist each other arms Claudio going after the mask again. The fans boo. 

On commentary Bryce and Mike Quakenbush note how Hallowicked has been wrestling clean for a while now which is interesting to hear. Hallowicked is mostly known for his dirty tactics but according to commentary as of late he has cleaned up his act. 

In the ring, Claudio has Hallowicked in a headlock. Hallowicked whips his opponent overhead and onto his back to get out of the hold. The fans cheer equally for both men while Hallowicked gets Claudio in a headlock. Claudio gets out of the headlock the same way Hallowicked did to him. Hallowicked takes down Claudio and gets a single leg grapevine on him. These two are just twisting each other into knots. 

Hallowicked ends up trapped with his head between Claudio’s legs in a headscissor. The fans cheer mostly just to entertain themselves. Hallowicked pushes on Claudio’s knees and works his way out, his opponent seems shocked and Hallowicked smacks him to the ground. This is actually an intricate hold as Hallowicked and Claudio have their legs in tangled. Hallowicked presses down on Claudio’s knees causing him to scream in pain. Claudio tries for a bear hug on the ground and then gets his foot out from Hallowicked and flips him into a pin attempt but Hallowicked kicks out. 

The two stand and wrap each other’s hands around their opponent’s necks. They end up struggling back and forth and wind up in the ropes. Claudio is trying to pin Hallowicked down while their hands are interlocked but Hallowicked keeps bridging out of it. Claudio jumps on top of Hallowicked but is still unable to get the pin. 

Hallowicked tries for a sunset flip but only gets a two. Claudio then drops Hallowicked and gets the same grapevine that Hallowicked had on him earlier. These two are mirroring each other. Sticking close and never giving the other any space. They constantly have their hands on each other and their legs wrapped around each other. This isn’t a match of big moves and running the ropes it is something much more personal than that. Hallowicked puts his foot over his knee and uses it to leverage Claudio closer to him and then puts him in a side headlock. Seriously intricate stuff. 

Claudio works his way up and shoves Hallowicked into the corner to break the headlock. Claudio charges at him but Hallowicked turns and elbows him in the face. Hallowicked goes to the second rope and hits and senton but Claudio gets his feet up. Claudio goes for a pin but doesn’t get the three then he locks in a camel clutch. Claudio can’t get it all the way in and instead slams Hallowicked down and stands over him posing. 

Claudio hits a huge uppercut that sends Hallowicked to the ground. Then he pins Hallowicked’s arms behind his back with a handlebar submission. Hallowicked tries to reverse it but just when Claudio gets nervous he might get out he grabs a handful of mask and drops Hallowicked to the ground. 

Hallowicked hits the ropes and flips over Claudio but overdoes it and misses the sunset flip. He moves back into position and you have never seen anyone work so hard for a sunset flip. Hallowicked gets his feet under Claudio’s armpits and pulls him down to the mat but only gets a two. Claudio is up quick with a clothesline then stomps on his grounded opponent. 

Claudio gets another huge uppercut and Hallwicked rolls to the ropes. Claudio attacks him from the outside driving his knee into him. Claudio gets back into the ring then slingshots Wicked into the bottom rope. He rolls him over but Hallowicked kicks out at two. Hallowicked gets tosses into the corner but gets his foot up and kicks Claudio then gets a hurricanrana Hallowicked is finally getting some offense in with his step-up kick and rolls him up with a small package. But only gets a two count.

Hallowicked gets his opponent into an octopus hold which Quack calls old school Hallowicked.  Wicked flips it into a sunset flip which Mike calls “The Monster Mash from back in the day”. “Taking it way back” Bryce adds. Hallowicked dodges a punch and gets a backslide for a two. 

Claudio hits the ropes and Hallowicked ducks a bicycle kick he hits the ropes and hits Claudio with his own big book and a jackknife pinning combo but doesn’t get the three. Claudio gets a suplex when Hallowicked isn’t able to complete his own. The fans chant “Hallowicked” broken up into three syllables. 

Hallowicked goes for another step-up kick but Claudio ducks. Hallowicked ends up on the second rope with one leg on the outside on the leg on the inside. Claudio pushes him so the rope lands right in the pumpkin patch. Claudio pulls him down and gets the pin. Hallowicked writhes in pain on the ground. 

What I find most interesting about this match is Hallowicked is the technico for this match which does not happen very often. But when he is facing Castagnoli who is the leader of this season group of big bad guys BDK the fans tend to cheer more for Hallowicked. I don’t like or use wrestling terms like heel or face. I think they are stupid. What I like about Chikara though is how they use technico and rudo which are more about the style a wrestler uses instead of how they play to the crowd. Claudio was constantly attacking the mask of Hallowicked while Hallowicked was wrestling a clean match. This match was fun and if I was a nerd I might call it technical. The two were constantly in contact with each other never given the other breathing room. It really worked it’s way up that the ending kind of felt like a cop-out but it made the fans mad at Claudio and any visceral reaction from the fans is a good one is how I always view it. 

[gyrlversion]

Peaky Blinders tailor tracks down car vandal using Instagram

Jack Simmons (pictured outside Manchester Magistrates’ Court), 18, from Manchester was ordered to pay £500 compensation. Much less than the £9,175 Michael Pendlebury had requested. He was also ordered to complete 160 hours unpaid work as part of a 12 month community order

A celebrity tailor who used Instagram to track down a jobless skateboarder who trashed his family Bentley, has landed the teenager in court.

Michael Pendlebury, 37, from Manchester, who makes the sharp 1920s suits for BBC crime show Peaky Blinders, found his car damaged on March 8 last year.

He had left the vehicle, which belonged to his late father, in a secure car park in Manchester city centre before it was trampled on and the rear screen cracked.

Not willing to let the culprit get away, Mr Pendlebury logged onto Instagram using the car park in Manchester city centre as a ‘location tag,’ and entered the search word ‘Bentley’.

He found incriminating selfies of jobless 18-year-old Jack Simmons shamelessly sat on top of the luxury vehicle – including clambering onto the bonnet of the Flying Spur while dressed in his converse trainers before standing on the roof.       

Mr Pendlebury, who has also made suits for Coronation Street stars and Manchester footballers, wanted almost £10,000 from Simmons for the damage. 

He also referred Simmons’ Instagram and Facebook accounts to police, who later visited the teenager after assessing the images – which have now been deleted. 

But Mr Pendlebury never got the £9,175 he requested, which would have been used to ‘return the car to its condition when purchased.’ With the court contesting how much damage Simmons actually caused to the vehicle.   

Michael Pendlebury (pictured with his late father James), who has made suits for the cast of BBC crime drama Peaky Blinders, used Instagram to track down the teenager who trashed his family Bentley 

The Bentley, a Flying Spur (pictured), belonged to his late father James. Mr Pendlebury’s late father James clothed some of the city’s best known footballers, musicians and actors including George Best, Alex Ferguson and Noel Gallagher after setting up James Personal Tailor and Son in 1973

At Manchester Magistrates Court Simmons admitted criminal damage but was only ordered to pay £500 compensation. After magistrates said it would be ‘grossly unfair’ for the teenager to pay such a huge sum. 

Simmons’ defence lawyers claimed the cost of the damage was closer to £2,000 – not £9,175 – and argued the case might not be disputed if it was a ‘lower value car’.          

Describing the incident, which occurred after Mr Pendlebury – who runs his boutique tailor above a pub in Manchester city centre – had left the Bentley locked and secure in a nearby car park.

Mr Haseeb Yousaf prosecuting said: ‘When he returned at the end of the day, he noticed there was a large amount of shoe prints on the bonnet and roof of the vehicle. 

Mr Pendlebury, who has also made suits for Coronation Street stars and Manchester footballers, handed the teenager a bill of almost £10,000 for the damage. But he did not get this much back

‘He was of the belief that this was most likely the work of skateboarders who frequently use the car park.

‘The following day upon closer inspection, Mr Pendlebury noticed further damage consisting of deep scratches on the bonnet and roof of the car and a crack in the rear window. 

‘Upon talking to his family, he came to the conclusion that the shoe marks were from a type of shoe used by the skating community – converse trainers.

‘He then went on the social media website Instagram and searched for Bentley using the car park as a location tag and found pictures which had been uploaded to the defendant’s profile and featured Mr Pendlebury’s car registration plate.

‘The pictures showed Mr Simmons posing on the car sitting on the bonnet and the roof. Mr Pendlebury took note of the details on the defendant’s profile which include that he is an 18-year-old skater from Manchester called Jack Simmons.’

Mr Yousaf then described how Mr Pendlebury managed to find Simmons on Facebook too – under he name of Jack James Andrew Simmons.

Outlining the how much money Mr Pendlebury was seeking, he said: ‘The indication from the victim is that repairs would be £2500 at the cheapest but the figure put before the court £9,175 is the cost which would return the car to its condition when purchased. The rear windscreen will cost £3000 due to damage.’

Mr Pendlebury found incriminating selfies of jobless 18-year-old Jack Simmons (left and right) shamelessly sat on top of the luxury vehicle – including clambering onto the bonnet of the Flying Spur while dressed in his converse trainers before standing on the roof

Simmons (pictured) is a skateboarder and often skates is in a skate park next to the car park where Mr Pendlebury parked his car

But in mitigation defence lawyer Patrick O’Hanlon said: ‘The difference between the valuation put forward by the victim and what the defendant says he could’ve caused is a world away from each other.

‘My client fully accepts that he was stupid in this action but the victim has produced no evidence from the garage where he got the damage valued. 

‘He made a completely and utterly foolish decision getting photos with this car when he knew it was someone else’s vehicle.

‘He accepts that it was reckless but he didn’t intend to cause damage. He didn’t go on the rear of the car and there was no suggestion of foot marks showing any movement towards the rear of the car or the cracked windscreen.

How did Peaky Blinders tailor track down teenager who trashed his father’s car? 

Michael Pendlebury, who runs his boutique tailor above a pub in Manchester city centre – had left the Bentley locked and secure in a nearby car park.

And so knowing the location of where the car was when the vandalism took place, he used this to search social media for anybody who may have taken pictures. 

He logged onto Instagram using the car park in Manchester city centre as a ‘location tag,’ and entered the search word ‘Bentley’. 

Here found incriminating selfies of jobless 18-year Jack Simmons shamelessly sat on top of the luxury vehicle.

These included some of him clambering onto the bonnet of the Flying Spur while dressed in his converse trainers before standing on the roof. 

‘The valuation in our plea is £2000 and this figure hasn’t been plucked from thin air. 

‘Leave aside the notion of returning the vehicle to its factory condition – the value of damage which could have been incurred by the defendant is between £2000 to £3000 at the very most.’

The defence claimed that Simmons should not have to cover the costs of damage already on the car, and in the parts where he did not post for photographs. 

Mr O’Hanlon continued: ‘The defendant doesn’t accept that he caused damage to the rear of the car.

‘Around £2000-£3000 would cover the damage to the roof and bonnet. Frankly what has been presented by Mr Pendlebury is hearsay – a regurgitation of what he was told at a repair shop. 

‘It’s the issue of the full respray which takes the total cost to £9175 plus VAT.’

Outlining how much damage he thought Simmons had caused, Mr O’Hanlon said: ‘On a reckless basis, the defendant caused £3000 damage at most – including a total respray is not just. 

‘The extent of the foolishness of his actions evidenced by the fact he put the pictures on social media for all to see.

‘He clearly recognises they were foolhardy actions. He does have an appreciation of the impact his actions had on the victim. If we were dealing with a low value car, would we be in this situation? I think not.’

Mr O’Hanlon added: ‘The defendant is a skateboarder and for the most part he is a sensible young man. Where he skates is in a skate park next to the car park where Mr Pendlebury parked his car. 

‘The car park provides shelter when the rain comes on and this is what happened on the day in question. The defendant quite simply wanted to get a photo with the car.

‘It was simply a stupid mistake and he is not a malicious individual. In my submission, the fact the defendant posted the pictures on his public social media account goes to the heart of his credibility. It was simply a stupid mistake.’

Mr Pendlebury tailors for many footballing stars, and is pictured left alongside former Manchester United footballer Eric Cantona. Mr Pendlebury’s father James was also a tailor to the stars, and is pictured right alongside George Best

Mr Pendlebury is pictured with Mike Summerbee, a former Manchester City footballer, who played for the team in the late 1960s and early 1970s

A report by an unnamed probation officer said: ‘On the day in question, Mr Simmons was skating with friends at the skate park next to the car park where the incident took place. 

‘The rain started and so Mr Simmons and his friends were chilling in the car park when they saw the car. He first got a picture on the bonnet of the car and then on the roof. He did so on his own and he was not pressured by any of his friends. 

‘He admits it was his own stupidity. He did it without really thinking. He has a genuine understanding of how the victim would have felt.

‘He was not thinking of the consequences when he carried out the action. His family are upset with him that his actions have led to this but they are fully supportive. 

‘He is on Universal Credit and regularly attends appointments at the job centre. He once volunteered at a skate camp and would like to do so in future. He did not think he would do damage to the vehicle when he carried out the actions.’  

Simmons was not asked to pay back the full £9,175 for repairs to the car (pictured with Mr Pendlebury’s father James) but instead ordered to pay £500 compensation 

Sentencing Simmons, Magistrate Alan Greenwood said: ‘This was as you quite clearly admit a very reckless act which caused substantial damage to a very expensive motor car.

‘We believe that adequate time has passed and that evidence could have been substantiated by the CPS in relation to repair costs. 

‘We are going to accept the basis of the plea from the defence in its entirety. Quite clearly the CPS’s valuation of £9000+ is obviously grossly unfair on someone of your income.’

Simmons was also ordered to complete 160 hours unpaid work as part of a 12 month community order.

The post Peaky Blinders tailor tracks down car vandal using Instagram appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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[flauntpage]

The Outlet Pass: Butler's Sacrifice, a Fun Cavs Trade, Oubre's Evolution

With tomorrow being Thanksgiving (Happy Thanksgiving!), The Outlet Pass has arrived one day earlier than normal this week. Enjoy!

1. In Honor of Thanksgiving, Here’s a Fake Trade We Can All Be Thankful For

Cleveland gets: Marc Gasol Memphis gets: Brooklyn’s first-round pick in 2018, Tristan Thompson, and Iman Shumpert

When Gasol first signed his five-year $110 million deal nearly two and half years ago, popular thought was father time would tarnish it sooner than later. This was something the Memphis Grizzlies had to do, even while fully understanding the odds-on risk attached. (A broken foot suffered the following February increased the likelihood of it being a sunk cost.)

Instead, at 33 years old and in his 10th season, with a new coach, overhauled system, and personal submission to the three-point line, Gasol is still kicking as a borderline All-Star, albeit one whose crater-sized impact in Memphis isn’t as expansive as it used to be.

According to Synergy Sports, Gasol is currently the least efficient player in the league when he gets double-teamed in the post. Some of this is thanks to a small sample size, diminishing athleticism and curbed quickness, but his surrounding personnel deserves a smidge of blame, too. Even though some of their shooting percentages are up, opposing teams are still open to doubling off Chandler Parsons, Tyreke Evans, James Ennis, Dillon Brooks, and the rest of Memphis’ roster.

A move to Cleveland would do freaking wonders for Gasol’s one-on-one game. The attention LeBron James demands is unrivaled, and picturing those two surrounded by three dead-eye snipers—like Kyle Korver, J.R. Smith, Kevin Love, healthy Isaiah Thomas, or Jae Crowder—is a daydream. James has never played with someone like Gasol: A pass-first center who can space the floor, anchor an excellent defense, and singlehandedly create open threes on the weakside when he goes to work on the block.

And just think about the lineups Ty Lue could utilize with LeBron on the bench. Gasol and Love, by themselves, could become the NBA’s mightiest frontcourt tandem this side of New Orleans. Gasol helps in a likely Finals rematch against the Golden State Warriors in a way very few players can. He’s a savant on both ends.

The risk in trading a lottery pick for any player who can opt out of his contract in 2019, let alone a declining 33-year-old who plays the league’s least attractive position and would have to sacrifice a whole bunch of touches overnight, is an obvious risk—even if said pick is owned by a Brooklyn Nets squad that figures to finish with the sixth or seventh worst record and not the first or second.

But let’s play out one possible scenario if they don’t make a seismic trade: Cleveland adds a borderline-washed-up buyout candidate, loses in the Eastern Conference Finals or Finals, lands the sixth pick, watches LeBron leave in free agency, and is bad forever. If surrendering the Brooklyn pick for someone like Gasol is possible, then convincing James to stay is the right move.

Meanwhile, Memphis should do this in a heartbeat. Injuries around the Western Conference are keeping their playoff odds on a respirator, but Mike Conley’s weary Achilles tendon isn’t really allowing them to make up much ground. They’ve lost five in a row and eight of their last ten, with an offense that ranks 22nd despite them never, ever turning the ball over.

The smart long-term play here is to squeeze as much as they can get for Gasol, then rebuild around two lottery picks, with one potentially landing in the top five, in a five-player draft. They can also move on from Thompson and maybe even get a late first-rounder for his service as well. Memphis already has its own top-eight-protected first-round pick headed to Boston in 2019 (which becomes unprotected in 2021), so the best time to replenish their roster with high-upside youth is today.

2. Victor Oladipo…

Photo by Steve Mitchell - USA TODAY Sports

...has more points than Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, Kyrie Irving, Paul George, Kevin Durant, Blake Griffin, Karl-Anthony Towns, John Wall, and...Russell Westbrook. The Indiana Pacers have had a top-10 offense all year long despite not having Myles Turner (the dude everyone expected to be their best player) for seven games. Oladipo deserves a statue.

3. It’s Time to Expand Kelly Oubre Jr.’s Role

The Wizards are an obscenely dominant basketball team when John Wall, Bradley Beal, Otto Porter, and Kelly Oubre Jr. share the floor, outscoring opponents by 22 points per 100 possessions. This makes sense. Three of those players are on a max contract and the fourth is a 21-year-old southpaw who’s shooting 47 percent from above the break.

Washington knows what it has with its three best players, but Oubre Jr.’s growth is the variable worth watching. Right now he’s still raw and able to impact games with his athleticism, energy, and length. But knowing the ball ultimately starts in Wall or Beal’s hands—particularly throughout the postseason—it’s worth wondering what type of developmental path Washington should try and set their moldable Sixth Man on.

Oubre Jr. has only run a handful of pick-and-rolls this season, and, to nobody’s surprise, whenever he does dribble off a screen and try to make a play his timing and vision are both a little off.

Despite a leap in playing time, his assist to usage ratio is still near the bottom at his position (and down from where it was last season). He averages as many potential assists per game as DeAndre Jordan—fewer than Steven Adams and Tyson Chandler—and his 20.9 passes per game are fifth fewest in the entire league among all players who average at least 25 minutes.

This doesn’t make him selfish. Oubre Jr. is happy and willing to swing the ball and forfeit his own good shot so a teammate can have a better one. His job is to finish plays instead of start them, but given Washington’s routine bench struggles, it’d be a godsend if Oubre Jr. could quickly grow to become a reliable secondary or primary ball-handler when Wall and Beal both rest.

If the organization’s plan is to win with this foursome leading the way, the Wizards would be wrong to clone another Porter instead of encouraging Oubre Jr. to become a more versatile offensive weapon. In about eight fewer minutes per game, he touches the ball less than Jeff Green. It isn’t too early to diversify Oubre Jr.’s responsibilities. When you’re a good team that knows it’ll make the playoffs, that’s exactly what the regular season is for.

4. Everyone is Surprised by Portland’s Secret Weapon Except LeBron James

Last week, the Portland Trail Blazers decided to turn back the hands of time by deploying Jusuf Nurkic and Caleb Swanigan in their starting lineup. The mammoth-sized duo was a predictable disaster, clogging up driving lanes for C.J. McCollum and Damian Lillard, preventing either big from having as much room to operate in the post, and creating at least one mismatch on the defensive end that could be exploited by a more modernized frontcourt.

Despite going 2-1 during this week-long experiment—that was partly induced by injuries elsewhere on the roster—Portland consistently found itself in a hole from the jump, causing Blazers head coach Terry Stotts to start the third quarter of last Wednesday’s win over the Orlando Magic with Pat Connaughton, instead of Swanigan, on the court—a game-saving halftime adjustment. (Stotts’s final straw came two nights later when the Blazers scored 82 points in a very bad loss against the Sacramento Kings. Noah Vonleh has started at the four since.)

The buried lede here is that while Portland struggled to score trotting out two slow frontcourt players who don’t complement one another in any way, what they discovered during this same stretch is a three-guard unit that could be their secret weapon.

Lillard and McCollum are an obvious staple that create myriad headaches for the opposition. Throw Shabazz Napier into the mix and it’s pandemonium. The trio only played 20 minutes last season, but in 38 minutes this year they’ve blitzed opponents by 38 points per 100 possessions.

Last summer, Evan Turner was paid a handsome sum to be the ball-handler who could enable Portland’s two franchise guards to work off the ball, decimate opponents off screens and rouse panic by setting paralyzing picks for each other on the weakside. He can still do that, especially from the block when backing down smaller defenders. But replace Turner with Napier and install a versatile wing like Mo Harkless or Al-Farouq Aminu at the four, and all of a sudden the court becomes a hornet’s nest.

The offensive upside is clear: three ball handlers who can shoot, drive, and pass, constantly racing around to kick dirt in your eyes, is hard to slow down. But so far (small-sample-size alert!) they’ve also been able to hold their own on the defensive end, in part because Napier plays like an unswattable mosquito whose hands and feet never stop moving.

But there are limits to being “frisky” when you aren’t catching an opponent off guard, and some of their success is because Napier’s three-point percentage is actively burning a hole in the ozone layer. That doesn’t mean this speedy triad should be demoted or even stuffed in glass as a “Break-in-Case-of-Emergency” axe. Stotts should ride this unique group as long as he can, knowing few teams have the personnel to match up with it on both ends.

5. Jimmy Butler is Sacrificing Too Much

The Timberwolves are not the NBA’s most disappointing team. Since November 1st, they own a top-10 defense, and for the whole season they’re outscoring opponents by 6.8 points per 100 possessions when Jimmy Butler and Taj Gibson share the floor. But this team, at 10-7, feels disappointing.

They’ve yet to find a way to synchronize their overwhelming talent in a way that accentuates each individual’s skill-set, and startling losses against the Phoenix Suns and Detroit Pistons (a game they should’ve won, considering they were home, with a day of rest, against a team that’d just dropped two in a row) have been the result.

Given his contract situation, past performance, and high expectations, Butler’s struggle to look like himself is probably the team’s largest concern. Nobody should’ve expected a fluid overnight fit, but 15 games into his seventh season, the three-time All-Star has yet to find any rhythm in a system he’s already familiar with. Sacrifice is wonderful and necessary, but the degree to which Butler has altered his role to appease Andrew Wiggins, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Jeff Teague is a little excessive.

What’s best for him is probably also best for the Timberwolves. Instead, watching him play he looks out of rhythm, like he doesn’t know when to hunt and when to be passive. The degree of difficulty in some of Butler’s scoring situations has been higher than it should be, too, given the influx of talent by his side. Last year, 17.1 percent of Butler’s shots were hoisted when the shot clock was “late” or “very late,” according to NBA.com. This year, that’s up to 25.9 percent. He has more catch-and-shoot opportunities, which sounds nice but has never been his strength.

According to Synergy Sports, Butler’s possessions as a pick-and-roll ball-handler are down 11 percent from last season. What was once a tool he used to carve defenses up has been more of a dull blade.

Butler’s usage is down, he’s touching the ball 11 fewer times per game, his turnover rate is at a career high, and his free-throw rate is at a career low. That last point is crucial. What initially elevated Butler to an elite level was his ability to draw contact and live at the line. Last season, he was fouled on 20.1 percent of his shots, which ranked in the 98th percentile among all wings. That percentage is currently half what it was. (A plethora of pull-up twos are acceptable when you live at the free-throw line; he’s not quite Tobias Harris, but trending in that direction.)

So much of this is because Minnesota’s roster simply isn’t conducive for a slash-first-ask-questions-later bulldog like Butler. His drives to the basket are now more complicated than Catherine Zeta-Jones vs. one million lasers, in large part because defenses are ready and willing to help off a majority of his teammates.

There are few in-house alterations that can make life easier for Butler, but he hardly ever plays with Nemanja Bjelica (who, ho-hum, is the most accurate three-point shooter in the league right now); in the 52 minutes they’ve shared the floor Minnesota has obliterated everything. (General side note: Gibson has been awesome but Gorgui Dieng and Shabazz Muhammad have not—play Bjelica more often Thibs!)

There’s no need to panic in Minnesota. But youth, lack of shooting, and non-existent depth at the wing are concerns they’ll have to navigate the rest of the season. Putting the ball in Butler’s hands more often won’t solve them, but Jamal Crawford, Teague, and Wiggins should not have a higher usage rate than he does.

Among all players who’ve seen the floor for about the same or fewer minutes than Butler this season, Evan Fournier, Jayson Tatum, Tim Hardaway Jr., Jeremy Lamb, Will Barton, and Bojan Bogdanovic have all scored more points. Something needs to change.

6. Toronto’s Offense Is Official

Despite struggles in the clutch, which reflect a reversion back to the isolation-heavy, late-shot-clock-heaving approach that hurts them so much when it matters most, Toronto’s offense is quietly morphing into an unselfish monster.

Last season, the Raptors ranked dead last in assist rate. (They were 28th in November during the 2016-17 season.) This year, they’re up to 14th, with 17 more passes per game. They’re 14th in pace (up from 22nd last season), shooting way fewer long twos and a lot more threes. Paths to the rim are wider and open more frequently. The result? They rank fourth in offense and third in effective field goal percentage.

It’s growth in real time, partly due to the infusion of youth from guys like OG Anunoby (the most underrated rookie in an abnormally loaded class), Fred VanVleet (whose name I thought was “Van Fleet” for about two years), Delon Wright (who just dislocated his shoulder), and a few others.

Toronto’s two lynch pins are doing their part and C.J. Miles is flashing Ryan Anderson-esque range. The ball moves better when DeMar DeRozan isn’t on the floor, but that’s also when their offensive rating drops to its lowest point. Probably because the guy’s footwork makes it look like he’s hovering two inches above the court at all times.

DeRozan jacked up three shots beyond the arc in the opening minutes of Sunday’s win against the Wall-less Wizards. While still low, his three-point rate is exactly double what it was last season. They aren't perfect, but Toronto's evolutionary shot profile makes them the second-best team in the Eastern Conference.

7. Orlando Treats the Three-Point Line With Too Much Reverence

The Magic should shine on defense. They have athletes who excel at key positions and a coach who’s known for extracting brick-wall execution from much less physical ability.

But after a hot start shooting the ball, Orlando’s defense has become one of the league’s 10 worst. Part of that’s due to injuries up and down the roster, and high usage big men—like Nikola Vucevic—who have known limitations. But a bit of their struggle can be explained by an aggressive “stay home!” attitude towards the three-point line.

Orlando’s defenders, as twitchy as most of them are, have been directed to form a permanent fence at the arc. They don’t allow swing passes to open threats on the weakside and aim to make outside shooters feel claustrophobic. According to Cleaning The Glass, Orlando holds its opponents to a 27 percent three-point rate, which is second-lowest in the league. And from there, the strategy of always being in position to contest outside shots has worked pretty well, with opponents only making 34.5 percent of their threes (though that’s likely a bit more happenstance than strategic ingenuity).

On the surface, this is a rousing success! But in reality it’s like they’re hermetically sealing a body part that actually needs reconstructive surgery. Here’s an example:

At the top, Aaron Gordon does a good job keeping Joe Ingles from getting to the middle of the floor, leaping up and forcing him left. But as the Australian swingman drives towards Vucevic, neither Elfrid Payton nor Evan Fournier pinch in to tag the rolling Derrick Favors. Instead, they treat Raul Neto and Donovan Mitchell like they’re Splash Brothers when, actually, they're Raul Neto and Donovan Mitchell. Favors snatches Ingles’s pocket pass and finishes with an easy dunk.

The moral of the story: Personnel matters. It’s great that the Magic are executing their coach’s scheme and denying three-point attempts en mass in a league that’s filled with teams that are obsessed with that exact shot, but nothing will ever be more efficient than a layup, and nobody is allowing more of those than the Magic.

8. The Willie Cauley-Stein Bandwagon Has Plenty of Room

Photo by Brad Penner - USA TODAY Sports

I will forever believe that Willie Cauley-Stein is a useful, if not good, basketball player. He’s my personal equivalent to how a specific segment of NBA Twitter once felt (feels?) about Anthony Randolph. If Cauley-Stein was, like, seven percent more confident and nine percent more aggressive, with a point guard who draws attention, manipulates back-line rotations, and can shoot, he’d be Steven Adams.

Cauley-Stein actually made a three last week, too, and is one of a few centers who’s defended Joel Embiid without much help and not been steamrolled in the process. I want nothing more than to see him develop outside of Sacramento, not sharing the court with Zach Randolph and Kosta Koufos. Is that too much to ask?

9. You Can’t Help But Respect Carmelo Anthony’s Commitment to Being Carmelo Anthony

Before clarifying is words and backtracking from the belief that he, Paul George, and Russell Westbrook need to be more selfish in order for the Oklahoma City Thunder to find offensive nirvana, Carmelo Anthony concluded that he and his two All-Star teammates are instinctive players who need to be more instinctive.

Even though his instincts have been wrong for quite some time, that’s a perfectly fine thing to believe. But if I played for the Thunder and read this quote, I'd refrain from ever passing him the ball. On top of a defensive demeanor that exudes the same amount of energy and attention I used to display on Thanksgiving morning throughout my early 20’s*, Anthony’s assist to usage ratio is only higher than nine percent of fellow forwards around the NBA. He could wear wide receiver gloves sprayed with stickum for an entire quarter and nobody would notice the difference.

*The below isn’t a great reflection of Oklahoma City’s collective effort, but Anthony somehow manages to make everyone else look like they're hustling their ass off. He airballs a jumper and then backpedals to midcourt as the rest of his teammates turn to run.

Salute.

10. Donovan Mitchell’s Audaciousness Is Inspiring

The Utah Jazz are in a sad place, but, on the bright side, they also have Donovan Mitchell, a fearless firecracker with more responsibilities on his plate than any rookie on a decent team should. Just look at this wraparound pass to Rodney Hood, the finishing touch on Utah’s execution of a Hammer action.

Freeze the clip at the exact moment the ball leaves his fingertips. Even though Mitchell knows Hood is about to (probably) spring free in the corner, it still must feel a little scary to sidearm a ball the length of the baseline towards empty space. It arrives a little low, but that's nitpicking. This was hard and he made it look easy.

Most of the 21-year-old’s offensive numbers are dreadful, but bold, trustworthy traits seen in sequences like this are enough to convince me the Jazz have a keeper.

The Outlet Pass: Butler's Sacrifice, a Fun Cavs Trade, Oubre's Evolution published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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The Outlet Pass: Butler’s Sacrifice, a Fun Cavs Trade, Oubre’s Evolution

With tomorrow being Thanksgiving (Happy Thanksgiving!), The Outlet Pass has arrived one day earlier than normal this week. Enjoy!

1. In Honor of Thanksgiving, Here’s a Fake Trade We Can All Be Thankful For

Cleveland gets: Marc Gasol Memphis gets: Brooklyn’s first-round pick in 2018, Tristan Thompson, and Iman Shumpert

When Gasol first signed his five-year $110 million deal nearly two and half years ago, popular thought was father time would tarnish it sooner than later. This was something the Memphis Grizzlies had to do, even while fully understanding the odds-on risk attached. (A broken foot suffered the following February increased the likelihood of it being a sunk cost.)

Instead, at 33 years old and in his 10th season, with a new coach, overhauled system, and personal submission to the three-point line, Gasol is still kicking as a borderline All-Star, albeit one whose crater-sized impact in Memphis isn’t as expansive as it used to be.

According to Synergy Sports, Gasol is currently the least efficient player in the league when he gets double-teamed in the post. Some of this is thanks to a small sample size, diminishing athleticism and curbed quickness, but his surrounding personnel deserves a smidge of blame, too. Even though some of their shooting percentages are up, opposing teams are still open to doubling off Chandler Parsons, Tyreke Evans, James Ennis, Dillon Brooks, and the rest of Memphis’ roster.

A move to Cleveland would do freaking wonders for Gasol’s one-on-one game. The attention LeBron James demands is unrivaled, and picturing those two surrounded by three dead-eye snipers—like Kyle Korver, J.R. Smith, Kevin Love, healthy Isaiah Thomas, or Jae Crowder—is a daydream. James has never played with someone like Gasol: A pass-first center who can space the floor, anchor an excellent defense, and singlehandedly create open threes on the weakside when he goes to work on the block.

And just think about the lineups Ty Lue could utilize with LeBron on the bench. Gasol and Love, by themselves, could become the NBA’s mightiest frontcourt tandem this side of New Orleans. Gasol helps in a likely Finals rematch against the Golden State Warriors in a way very few players can. He’s a savant on both ends.

The risk in trading a lottery pick for any player who can opt out of his contract in 2019, let alone a declining 33-year-old who plays the league’s least attractive position and would have to sacrifice a whole bunch of touches overnight, is an obvious risk—even if said pick is owned by a Brooklyn Nets squad that figures to finish with the sixth or seventh worst record and not the first or second.

But let’s play out one possible scenario if they don’t make a seismic trade: Cleveland adds a borderline-washed-up buyout candidate, loses in the Eastern Conference Finals or Finals, lands the sixth pick, watches LeBron leave in free agency, and is bad forever. If surrendering the Brooklyn pick for someone like Gasol is possible, then convincing James to stay is the right move.

Meanwhile, Memphis should do this in a heartbeat. Injuries around the Western Conference are keeping their playoff odds on a respirator, but Mike Conley’s weary Achilles tendon isn’t really allowing them to make up much ground. They’ve lost five in a row and eight of their last ten, with an offense that ranks 22nd despite them never, ever turning the ball over.

The smart long-term play here is to squeeze as much as they can get for Gasol, then rebuild around two lottery picks, with one potentially landing in the top five, in a five-player draft. They can also move on from Thompson and maybe even get a late first-rounder for his service as well. Memphis already has its own top-eight-protected first-round pick headed to Boston in 2019 (which becomes unprotected in 2021), so the best time to replenish their roster with high-upside youth is today.

2. Victor Oladipo…

Photo by Steve Mitchell – USA TODAY Sports

…has more points than Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, Kyrie Irving, Paul George, Kevin Durant, Blake Griffin, Karl-Anthony Towns, John Wall, and…Russell Westbrook. The Indiana Pacers have had a top-10 offense all year long despite not having Myles Turner (the dude everyone expected to be their best player) for seven games. Oladipo deserves a statue.

3. It’s Time to Expand Kelly Oubre Jr.’s Role

The Wizards are an obscenely dominant basketball team when John Wall, Bradley Beal, Otto Porter, and Kelly Oubre Jr. share the floor, outscoring opponents by 22 points per 100 possessions. This makes sense. Three of those players are on a max contract and the fourth is a 21-year-old southpaw who’s shooting 47 percent from above the break.

Washington knows what it has with its three best players, but Oubre Jr.’s growth is the variable worth watching. Right now he’s still raw and able to impact games with his athleticism, energy, and length. But knowing the ball ultimately starts in Wall or Beal’s hands—particularly throughout the postseason—it’s worth wondering what type of developmental path Washington should try and set their moldable Sixth Man on.

Oubre Jr. has only run a handful of pick-and-rolls this season, and, to nobody’s surprise, whenever he does dribble off a screen and try to make a play his timing and vision are both a little off.

Despite a leap in playing time, his assist to usage ratio is still near the bottom at his position (and down from where it was last season). He averages as many potential assists per game as DeAndre Jordan—fewer than Steven Adams and Tyson Chandler—and his 20.9 passes per game are fifth fewest in the entire league among all players who average at least 25 minutes.

This doesn’t make him selfish. Oubre Jr. is happy and willing to swing the ball and forfeit his own good shot so a teammate can have a better one. His job is to finish plays instead of start them, but given Washington’s routine bench struggles, it’d be a godsend if Oubre Jr. could quickly grow to become a reliable secondary or primary ball-handler when Wall and Beal both rest.

If the organization’s plan is to win with this foursome leading the way, the Wizards would be wrong to clone another Porter instead of encouraging Oubre Jr. to become a more versatile offensive weapon. In about eight fewer minutes per game, he touches the ball less than Jeff Green. It isn’t too early to diversify Oubre Jr.’s responsibilities. When you’re a good team that knows it’ll make the playoffs, that’s exactly what the regular season is for.

4. Everyone is Surprised by Portland’s Secret Weapon Except LeBron James

Last week, the Portland Trail Blazers decided to turn back the hands of time by deploying Jusuf Nurkic and Caleb Swanigan in their starting lineup. The mammoth-sized duo was a predictable disaster, clogging up driving lanes for C.J. McCollum and Damian Lillard, preventing either big from having as much room to operate in the post, and creating at least one mismatch on the defensive end that could be exploited by a more modernized frontcourt.

Despite going 2-1 during this week-long experiment—that was partly induced by injuries elsewhere on the roster—Portland consistently found itself in a hole from the jump, causing Blazers head coach Terry Stotts to start the third quarter of last Wednesday’s win over the Orlando Magic with Pat Connaughton, instead of Swanigan, on the court—a game-saving halftime adjustment. (Stotts’s final straw came two nights later when the Blazers scored 82 points in a very bad loss against the Sacramento Kings. Noah Vonleh has started at the four since.)

The buried lede here is that while Portland struggled to score trotting out two slow frontcourt players who don’t complement one another in any way, what they discovered during this same stretch is a three-guard unit that could be their secret weapon.

Lillard and McCollum are an obvious staple that create myriad headaches for the opposition. Throw Shabazz Napier into the mix and it’s pandemonium. The trio only played 20 minutes last season, but in 38 minutes this year they’ve blitzed opponents by 38 points per 100 possessions.

Last summer, Evan Turner was paid a handsome sum to be the ball-handler who could enable Portland’s two franchise guards to work off the ball, decimate opponents off screens and rouse panic by setting paralyzing picks for each other on the weakside. He can still do that, especially from the block when backing down smaller defenders. But replace Turner with Napier and install a versatile wing like Mo Harkless or Al-Farouq Aminu at the four, and all of a sudden the court becomes a hornet’s nest.

The offensive upside is clear: three ball handlers who can shoot, drive, and pass, constantly racing around to kick dirt in your eyes, is hard to slow down. But so far (small-sample-size alert!) they’ve also been able to hold their own on the defensive end, in part because Napier plays like an unswattable mosquito whose hands and feet never stop moving.

But there are limits to being “frisky” when you aren’t catching an opponent off guard, and some of their success is because Napier’s three-point percentage is actively burning a hole in the ozone layer. That doesn’t mean this speedy triad should be demoted or even stuffed in glass as a “Break-in-Case-of-Emergency” axe. Stotts should ride this unique group as long as he can, knowing few teams have the personnel to match up with it on both ends.

5. Jimmy Butler is Sacrificing Too Much

The Timberwolves are not the NBA’s most disappointing team. Since November 1st, they own a top-10 defense, and for the whole season they’re outscoring opponents by 6.8 points per 100 possessions when Jimmy Butler and Taj Gibson share the floor. But this team, at 10-7, feels disappointing.

They’ve yet to find a way to synchronize their overwhelming talent in a way that accentuates each individual’s skill-set, and startling losses against the Phoenix Suns and Detroit Pistons (a game they should’ve won, considering they were home, with a day of rest, against a team that’d just dropped two in a row) have been the result.

Given his contract situation, past performance, and high expectations, Butler’s struggle to look like himself is probably the team’s largest concern. Nobody should’ve expected a fluid overnight fit, but 15 games into his seventh season, the three-time All-Star has yet to find any rhythm in a system he’s already familiar with. Sacrifice is wonderful and necessary, but the degree to which Butler has altered his role to appease Andrew Wiggins, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Jeff Teague is a little excessive.

What’s best for him is probably also best for the Timberwolves. Instead, watching him play he looks out of rhythm, like he doesn’t know when to hunt and when to be passive. The degree of difficulty in some of Butler’s scoring situations has been higher than it should be, too, given the influx of talent by his side. Last year, 17.1 percent of Butler’s shots were hoisted when the shot clock was “late” or “very late,” according to NBA.com. This year, that’s up to 25.9 percent. He has more catch-and-shoot opportunities, which sounds nice but has never been his strength.

According to Synergy Sports, Butler’s possessions as a pick-and-roll ball-handler are down 11 percent from last season. What was once a tool he used to carve defenses up has been more of a dull blade.

Butler’s usage is down, he’s touching the ball 11 fewer times per game, his turnover rate is at a career high, and his free-throw rate is at a career low. That last point is crucial. What initially elevated Butler to an elite level was his ability to draw contact and live at the line. Last season, he was fouled on 20.1 percent of his shots, which ranked in the 98th percentile among all wings. That percentage is currently half what it was. (A plethora of pull-up twos are acceptable when you live at the free-throw line; he’s not quite Tobias Harris, but trending in that direction.)

So much of this is because Minnesota’s roster simply isn’t conducive for a slash-first-ask-questions-later bulldog like Butler. His drives to the basket are now more complicated than Catherine Zeta-Jones vs. one million lasers, in large part because defenses are ready and willing to help off a majority of his teammates.

There are few in-house alterations that can make life easier for Butler, but he hardly ever plays with Nemanja Bjelica (who, ho-hum, is the most accurate three-point shooter in the league right now); in the 52 minutes they’ve shared the floor Minnesota has obliterated everything. (General side note: Gibson has been awesome but Gorgui Dieng and Shabazz Muhammad have not—play Bjelica more often Thibs!)

There’s no need to panic in Minnesota. But youth, lack of shooting, and non-existent depth at the wing are concerns they’ll have to navigate the rest of the season. Putting the ball in Butler’s hands more often won’t solve them, but Jamal Crawford, Teague, and Wiggins should not have a higher usage rate than he does.

Among all players who’ve seen the floor for about the same or fewer minutes than Butler this season, Evan Fournier, Jayson Tatum, Tim Hardaway Jr., Jeremy Lamb, Will Barton, and Bojan Bogdanovic have all scored more points. Something needs to change.

6. Toronto’s Offense Is Official

Despite struggles in the clutch, which reflect a reversion back to the isolation-heavy, late-shot-clock-heaving approach that hurts them so much when it matters most, Toronto’s offense is quietly morphing into an unselfish monster.

Last season, the Raptors ranked dead last in assist rate. (They were 28th in November during the 2016-17 season.) This year, they’re up to 14th, with 17 more passes per game. They’re 14th in pace (up from 22nd last season), shooting way fewer long twos and a lot more threes. Paths to the rim are wider and open more frequently. The result? They rank fourth in offense and third in effective field goal percentage.

It’s growth in real time, partly due to the infusion of youth from guys like OG Anunoby (the most underrated rookie in an abnormally loaded class), Fred VanVleet (whose name I thought was “Van Fleet” for about two years), Delon Wright (who just dislocated his shoulder), and a few others.

Toronto’s two lynch pins are doing their part and C.J. Miles is flashing Ryan Anderson-esque range. The ball moves better when DeMar DeRozan isn’t on the floor, but that’s also when their offensive rating drops to its lowest point. Probably because the guy’s footwork makes it look like he’s hovering two inches above the court at all times.

DeRozan jacked up three shots beyond the arc in the opening minutes of Sunday’s win against the Wall-less Wizards. While still low, his three-point rate is exactly double what it was last season. They aren’t perfect, but Toronto’s evolutionary shot profile makes them the second-best team in the Eastern Conference.

7. Orlando Treats the Three-Point Line With Too Much Reverence

The Magic should shine on defense. They have athletes who excel at key positions and a coach who’s known for extracting brick-wall execution from much less physical ability.

But after a hot start shooting the ball, Orlando’s defense has become one of the league’s 10 worst. Part of that’s due to injuries up and down the roster, and high usage big men—like Nikola Vucevic—who have known limitations. But a bit of their struggle can be explained by an aggressive “stay home!” attitude towards the three-point line.

Orlando’s defenders, as twitchy as most of them are, have been directed to form a permanent fence at the arc. They don’t allow swing passes to open threats on the weakside and aim to make outside shooters feel claustrophobic. According to Cleaning The Glass, Orlando holds its opponents to a 27 percent three-point rate, which is second-lowest in the league. And from there, the strategy of always being in position to contest outside shots has worked pretty well, with opponents only making 34.5 percent of their threes (though that’s likely a bit more happenstance than strategic ingenuity).

On the surface, this is a rousing success! But in reality it’s like they’re hermetically sealing a body part that actually needs reconstructive surgery. Here’s an example:

At the top, Aaron Gordon does a good job keeping Joe Ingles from getting to the middle of the floor, leaping up and forcing him left. But as the Australian swingman drives towards Vucevic, neither Elfrid Payton nor Evan Fournier pinch in to tag the rolling Derrick Favors. Instead, they treat Raul Neto and Donovan Mitchell like they’re Splash Brothers when, actually, they’re Raul Neto and Donovan Mitchell. Favors snatches Ingles’s pocket pass and finishes with an easy dunk.

The moral of the story: Personnel matters. It’s great that the Magic are executing their coach’s scheme and denying three-point attempts en mass in a league that’s filled with teams that are obsessed with that exact shot, but nothing will ever be more efficient than a layup, and nobody is allowing more of those than the Magic.

8. The Willie Cauley-Stein Bandwagon Has Plenty of Room

Photo by Brad Penner – USA TODAY Sports

I will forever believe that Willie Cauley-Stein is a useful, if not good, basketball player. He’s my personal equivalent to how a specific segment of NBA Twitter once felt (feels?) about Anthony Randolph. If Cauley-Stein was, like, seven percent more confident and nine percent more aggressive, with a point guard who draws attention, manipulates back-line rotations, and can shoot, he’d be Steven Adams.

Cauley-Stein actually made a three last week, too, and is one of a few centers who’s defended Joel Embiid without much help and not been steamrolled in the process. I want nothing more than to see him develop outside of Sacramento, not sharing the court with Zach Randolph and Kosta Koufos. Is that too much to ask?

9. You Can’t Help But Respect Carmelo Anthony’s Commitment to Being Carmelo Anthony

Before clarifying is words and backtracking from the belief that he, Paul George, and Russell Westbrook need to be more selfish in order for the Oklahoma City Thunder to find offensive nirvana, Carmelo Anthony concluded that he and his two All-Star teammates are instinctive players who need to be more instinctive.

Even though his instincts have been wrong for quite some time, that’s a perfectly fine thing to believe. But if I played for the Thunder and read this quote, I’d refrain from ever passing him the ball. On top of a defensive demeanor that exudes the same amount of energy and attention I used to display on Thanksgiving morning throughout my early 20’s*, Anthony’s assist to usage ratio is only higher than nine percent of fellow forwards around the NBA. He could wear wide receiver gloves sprayed with stickum for an entire quarter and nobody would notice the difference.

*The below isn’t a great reflection of Oklahoma City’s collective effort, but Anthony somehow manages to make everyone else look like they’re hustling their ass off. He airballs a jumper and then backpedals to midcourt as the rest of his teammates turn to run.

Salute.

10. Donovan Mitchell’s Audaciousness Is Inspiring

The Utah Jazz are in a sad place, but, on the bright side, they also have Donovan Mitchell, a fearless firecracker with more responsibilities on his plate than any rookie on a decent team should. Just look at this wraparound pass to Rodney Hood, the finishing touch on Utah’s execution of a Hammer action.

Freeze the clip at the exact moment the ball leaves his fingertips. Even though Mitchell knows Hood is about to (probably) spring free in the corner, it still must feel a little scary to sidearm a ball the length of the baseline towards empty space. It arrives a little low, but that’s nitpicking. This was hard and he made it look easy.

Most of the 21-year-old’s offensive numbers are dreadful, but bold, trustworthy traits seen in sequences like this are enough to convince me the Jazz have a keeper.

The Outlet Pass: Butler’s Sacrifice, a Fun Cavs Trade, Oubre’s Evolution syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

[placetobenation]

*** Scott & JT’s Vintage Vault Refresh reviews are a chronological look back at WWE PPV and TV history that began with a review of WrestleMania I. The PICs have revisited these events and refreshed all of their fun facts that provide insight into the match, competitors and state of the company as well as their overviews of the match action and opinions and thoughts on the outcomes. In addition, Jeff Jarvis assists in compiling historical information and the Fun Facts in each of the reviews. Also, be sure to leave feedback on the reviews at our Facebook page. Enjoy! ***

Monday Night Raw #111

May 15, 1995 Broome County Arena Binghamton, NY Announcers: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

1) Owen Hart & Yokozuna defeat Nick Barberry & Bill Weaver when Yokozuna pins Weaver with a uranage at 3:00

Scott: As we are one night after they successfully defended their Tag Titles against the Smoking Gunns, our champions take on a couple of scrubs. There were a couple of upsets at last night’s PPV, including Jerry Lawler beating Bret Hart (mind you it was Bret’s second match of the night and Hakushi helped Lawler win) but it does keep the feud going. Perhaps at the next PPV there will be a blow off match. The Binghamton crowd is pretty hot but this one doesn’t last too long as the Champs win easily. Grade: DUD

JT: Hey, we are actually live this week as tonight’s Monday Night Raw emanates from our old stomping grounds in Binghamton and we are less than 24 hours removed from the first ever In Your House. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are on the call as usual and we are wading through the fallout from Syracuse as we get set up for our opening tilt. The King is bragging all about his big win over Bret Hart last night, saying he did it by himself (he did not) and for his mother (she was not) who was at ringside. Owen Hart and Yokozuna amble out to the ring, fresh off defeating the Smoking Gunns, and are looking as confident as ever. Poor Nick Barberry and Bill Weaver try to psych themselves up but they had no chance at victory here. Vince says both the Allied Powers and Smoking Gunns are lining back up for title shots in the near future. He also says Yoko is over 600 pounds and is continuing to grow. The champs mow through these jamokes with ease and nab another victory as they continue to roll along. Grade: DUD

2) Man Mountain Rock defeats Iron Mike Sharpe via submission with the Whammy Bar at 1:30

Scott: Seriously, Iron Mike Sharpe was still cutting a paycheck in 1995? It took about as long for Vince to plug “Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom” as it was for Man Mountain Rock to win this match. I mean I get the recaps of last night’s show through Vince & Jerry at the table, but we get two really abysmal jobber squashes to start. We do have some still shots of last night with recap clips and such, but these two matches are trash. Grade: DUD

JT: And now we head back to the reality of the menagerie of misfits that currently make up the WWF mid card. I think Man Mountain Rock has a solid look and definitely is talented in the ring but this name and overall presentation just give him no shot. He is just meandering around like so many others out there these days. That said, him playing the guitar before his match was a pretty cool touch and they did a cool job with the lighting and camera angles. I can’t believe Mike Sharpe is still hanging around here, in the very deep twilight of his career. He has also bulked up quite a bit. Vince tells us we will hear more about the 11 year old IYH contest winner in a bit and then plugs the USA Movie, Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom, airing this Friday night. MMR gets the easy win with the Whammy Bar… and maybe he will actually do something of substance soon. Grade: DUD

*** We revisit last night when 11 year old Matt Pomposelli won the In Your House Florida vacation house giveaway contest. Vince McMahon also announces that Shawn Michaels will return to Monday Night Raw next week. After that, we check out more still photos from last night’s action, including the debut of Savio Vega, who saved Razor Ramon. We then have a quick chat with Vega, who is backstage and fired up. Vega talks about his friendship with Ramon and why he got involved last night. ***

3) Bob Holly defeats Mantaur in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match with a high cross body at 5:29

Fun Fact: Tonight we say farewell to Mantaur on MNR. He will stay around in the WWF for a little while longer, with his last televised match on WWF Superstars against Bam Bam Bigelow and as a lumberjack in a match at In Your House 2. After leaving the WWF, Mike Hallick, who played Mantaur, would go to ECW and would take on the role of Bruiser Mastino.

Scott: Oh yeah, that time of the year. Last night at IYH, Mabel was the first to qualify by defeating my guy Adam Bomb (cheating of course) and now our second qualifier pits Sparky Plugg against the Bull. This is Mantaur’s first RAW match against legitimate competition and it’s highly unlikely he’s going to win. Vince announces that the King of the Ring will be in Philadelphia on June 25. It’s the first PPV at the Spectrum since SummerSlam 1990. Mantaur controls the action with big chops and strikes and a side suplex as Vince congratulates Matt Pomposelli, who won the house last night. Mantaur continues to mangle Sparky with strikes as Vince announces Shawn Michaels will return next week to face King Kong Bundy in a KOTR Qualifier. Holly makes a quick comeback with a two count and then a missile drop kick for two. Holly goes to the top rope with a flying body press and gets the victory to move on to the tournament in Philly. Grade: 1/2*

JT: We head back to the ring for our first Raw KOTR Qualifying Match of the year as Bob Holly jogs out to battle the massive Mantaur, who is with Jim Cornette as usual. As Mantaur snorts in the ring, we hear from merchandise shill Barry Didinsky, who is here to plug the official IYH t-shirt as well as a Bret Hart t-shirt, available tonight only! Vince also informs us that Mabel defeated Adam Bomb last night to snap up the first official KOTR bracket slot. We get some discussion around the KOTR rules and find out the show is about five weeks away, emanating from Philadelphia. Mantaur uses his power early on, chucking Holly hard to the floor and keeping him off balance. Holly comes back with some dropkicks but Mantaur cuts him off with a violent bodyslam. They really did this guy no favors with this stupid gimmick as he could have been a fun bruiser heel if  he had a normal look. This may be the best he has looked in a match, using some varied, hard hitting power offense. Mantaur lands a nice powerslam and then keeps bearing down on Holly, clubbing his chest with heavy blows and then dropping him with a sidewalk slam. Vince talks about the return of Shawn Michaels next week as the moose maintains control. He mentions that Michaels challenged Sid to a match but Ted DiBiase decreed it would be King Kong Bundy in the slot instead. Holly gets a near fall on a roll up and then makes a comeback with a dropkick and series of clotheslines before finally putting the big man down with a missile dropkick for two. Holly went right back to the top rope and this time hit a high cross body for the win. The career renaissance of Bob Holly in 1995 continues as he officially heads to the KOTR tournament. This was a solid little match and I wish we got more of this Mantaur in the ring and less of the gimmicky nonsense as he showed some good bully power offense. Too little, too late. Grade: *

*** Vince McMahon heads to the ring to chat with Mr. Bob Backlund, who is here to finally unveil his major announcement, one that has been teased for weeks. During his match with Bret Hart at WrestleMania, Backlund had a vision but before he reveals what it was he rattles off a whole bunch of important historical dates in American history. He then finally announces that he is officially contemplating running for the Presidency of the United States. Upon the announcement, a marching band hit the ring playing “Hail to the Chief” as Backlund stomped around the ring. ***

*** We check out still clips from the Diesel vs. Sid match from last night. Jim Ross then chats with Ted DiBiase and IRS backstage as they promise victory tonight. DiBiase then issues a tag team challenge to Bigelow and Diesel to take on Sid and Tatanka. ***

4) Bam Bam Bigelow defeats IRS with a falling headbutt at 7:04

Fun Fact: After being attacked by the Corporation several weeks back, Bam Bam Bigelow has gone through a face turn and is now on the warpath against his former stablemates.

Scott: For the first time in a while, Raw is formatted where the main event match is at the end. Bigelow has a snazzy theme song now being a babyface and a new jacket with fire all over the place. Lawler is really beating the “Vince’s toupee” joke into the ground tonight. IRS still is going strong as he represents the Corporation against former employee Bigelow. The WWF Champion Diesel came out to chase DiBiase off so the match can be one on one. The match is going back and forth until IRS takes the turnbuckle pad off and whips Bigelow into it. IRS goes for the count and Diesel puts Bigelow’s foot on the rope, which allows the Beast to recover and get the victory. I was expecting a little more out of this one as Bigelow & Diesel celebrate. After the match Sid & Tatanka start stalking the aisle, since DiBiase challenged the babyfaces to a future tag team match. Grade: *

JT: We head down to the ring for our final match of the night as the freshly minted face Bam Bam Bigelow starts his quest to eradicate his former stable, the Million Dollar Corporation. And that journey starts with his former tag team partner, IRS, who is still the old steady and reliable force in the Corporation. Bigelow has refined his look here, wearing a garish fire shooting jacket and being played to the ring by some new funky theme music. Of course, Bigelow has become aligned with Diesel over the past month and last night saved him from a beatdown by Sid, DiBiase and Tatanka and looks like a tag team battle could now be on the horizon. Bigelow brings Diesel out to the ring here, saying he would be proud to be his partner and reveals that he will be in his corner tonight. DiBiase sprints to the back to get away from Big Daddy Cool as the match officially gets under way. IRS attacks at the bell but Bigelow fends him off and sends him flying to the floor, where he regains his bearings. Bigelow would maintain control for a bit, wearing Irwin down throughout a break, working the arm and then leveling him with a clothesline. As Diesel looked on from the floor, Bigelow headed up top but IRS dodged a headbutt and took over on offense. Irwin ground through his usual offense, kicking and clubbing away before hooking in a chinlock and then twisting into an abdominal stretch. Irwin got a close near fall but Bigelow survived with an assist from Diesel, who pushed the Taxman’s foot off the ropes. A moment later, Bammer dropped a headbutt and took home the win. This was fine and pretty paint-by-numbers but at least had some energy to it. After the match, Sid and Tatanka came down the aisle but we cut to break before anything developed. Grade: *

*** We check out a special music video about Shawn Michaels. King Kong Bundy then cackles that Michaels’ return will be short lived. ***

Final Analysis

Scott:We start the build to King of the Ring after that dumpster fire that’s IYH #1. Shawn Michaels makes his return after Sid took him out over a month ago. Having said that, things right now are kind of bleak. I said after last week’s show that I was concerned that Diesel and Sid may not be able to dance during this PPV. Sure enough they laid a big bag of poo last night in Syracuse. Do we want more matches from them? I vote, no. Bret Hart is lost in the mid-card, Shawn is hurt, Taker keeps chasing his urn and the talent pool is very thin. They can’t seem to get on the same page with everybody, in particular the mid-card which is really hurting as there’s no legit IC Title contenders for Jeff Jarrett. I’m curious how they fill out this KOTR tournament and who shows up in Philly next month. This episode is live so the energy level is high, but I have a feeling we’re about to down a dark rabbit hole that may take a while to get out of. Final Grade: C+

JT: This was a fairly energetic edition of Raw that focused heavily on the fallout of In Your House while also getting us on the road to King of the Ring. However, even with the announcement of the return of Shawn Michaels, the horizon doesn’t look very bright. After seeing what kind of in ring stinker Diesel and Sid put on in Syracuse, the proposition of more matches between them isn’t exactly tantalizing. Toss in a very stale Tatanka and things look even worse. There was no Bret Hart on this show and we haven’t seen Undertaker in a while either. As I have said before, the talent exists but they just haven’t figured out quite how to piece it all together and instead waste time on dead end gimmicks that will never advance past the lower mid card. The energy of the live show helps a lot and I thought the matches were all solid enough, but there really isn’t too much to get excited about on the card at this point. Maybe Michaels will change that a bit next week. Until then… Final Grade: C

[writingsubmissions]

Fights to Make: UFC 210

Daniel Cormier (beat Anthony Johnson) vs. Jon Jones: What a weird night. I have a feeling the story of UFC 210′s main event title fight is going to be Anthony Johnson’s mental state, since he weirdly insisted on wrestling with Cormier, got tapped out, and then retired, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that Daniel Cormier is pretty freakin’ awesome, as he ate some shots from Johnson and battled through a broken nose to get that win. At this point, Cormier against Jones is the obvious fight to make, assuming Jones can make it to the fight, as Jones looks like the only guy that can beat Cormier (though with Rumble out of the picture, I’m now unsure who can beat Jones). It looks like Jimi Manuwa is the back-up plan if Cormier/Jones can’t come together - such is the state of light heavyweight - but come on now.

Gegard Mousasi (beat Chris Weidman) vs. Chris Weidman (lost to Gegard Mousasi): Once again, what a weird night. Mousasi/Weidman was a hell of a fight that turned into an absolute fiasco, as the fight was stopped when referee Dan Miragliotta thought that Mousasi struck Weidman with an illegal knee. Admittedly, it was a fine enough call in real time, since it took multiple replays to even be sure that the knee was actually legal, but basically, from there, it’s unclear about what protocol should’ve been used and even what actually happened. Everyone involved apparently looked at the instant replay - which for whatever reason, is against New York commission rules - and it’s unclear if the fight was able to be restarted, or why it was stopped; it seems to be because the cageside doctor thought Weidman, who admittedly seemed pretty out of it, could no longer continue, rather than some weird technicality, but...my head is starting to hurt, and the whole thing was a mess. You could go any number of directions from here, but what the hell, why not just run it back, particularly with a card this July in Long Island, that one assumes Weidman is going to headline. You could make the case against a rematch, but it’s not like there’s an obvious other direction, and given how good the fight was up to the controversial finish, I wouldn’t mind seeing it again.

Charles Oliveira (beat Will Brooks) vs. Beneil Dariush: Well, in a way, I guess we should’ve expected that Charles Oliveira would look awesome and run through Will Brooks - Oliveira’s been one of the more frustratingly inconsistent talents on the roster, and after two poor performances in losses, it’s about right that he would suddenly bust out his most impressive win in years. It’s unclear how much of Oliveira looking good is just lightweight being his natural weight class or Brooks being overrated, but I did enjoy that even the post-fight translator left out Oliveira’s pleas to return to featherweight, so everyone seems to realize that Oliveira seeing how far a return to 155 can take him is the way to go. I like the idea of putting Oliveira against Dariush, who’s a top ten fighter coming off a brutal knockout loss to Edson Barboza - Dariush can probably chew up Oliveira on the feet, but there’s the possibility we get some grappling exchanges between two of the best submission artists on the roster, so sign me up.

Kamaru Usman (beat Sean Strickland) vs. Alex Oliveira: So, Kamaru Usman’s pretty freaking great. Usman’s fight against Sean Strickland figured to be a fairly even bout between two of the best rising prospects in the welterweight division, and Usman just annihilated him, working his takedown game early and then just mixing things up on a battered Strickland, who essentially had zero effective offense over the course of the bout. Really, the only question now is how Usman’s game holds together against someone who he can’t take down (or is so dangerous on the ground that he wouldn’t want to), but, well, good luck finding that opponent. There’s a few different ideas for Usman’s next fight - Gunnar Nelson is a good one if UFC wants to push Usman into a lower-level main or co-main event, or even the winner of June’s Dong Hyun Kim/Colby Covington fight - but I love the idea of him taking on Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira, who’s coming off a career-best win over Tim Means. Oliveira has sort of evolved his game into sort of a power grappler, thanks to his good old-fashioned farm strength, and he might be one of the few guys that can stop Usman from imposing his will, and then we’ll see where things go from there.

Cynthia Calvillo (beat Pearl Gonzalez) vs. Jamie Moyle: Calvillo looked good once again, beating the debuting Gonzalez rather handily, and it seems like UFC is firmly in the Cynthia Calvillo business, with Dana White comparing her to stars like Conor McGregor and Joanna Jedrzejczyk. Um, okay. Calvillo’s a good prospect, but that all seems like a bit much, especially for someone who’s still so raw and unproven - if UFC’s that high on her, they may rush her in over her head, but instead I’ll give her a modest step up in Jamie Moyle, who had a solid run in Invicta and on TUF, and got an impressive UFC debut win over Kailin Curran in December.

Myles Jury (beat Mike De La Torre) vs. Darren Elkins: After taking all of 2016 off, Myles Jury’s return fight went as perfect as it possibly could’ve, as Mike De La Torre’s aggression left him open for Jury to just run through him and score a first-round submission win. Jury’s never been the most interesting guy, but he’s talented, and this is the first time in a while I remember him showing a particular level of dynamism. So what the hell, let’s try moving him up the featherweight ladder, and let’s start with Elkins, the hard-nosed grinder gatekeeper supreme of the division, who’s coming off that amazing comeback win over Mirsad Bektic last month.

Thiago Alves (beat Patrick Cote) vs. Ryan LaFlare: Alves surprisingly put together his best performance since his comeback from injuries back in 2014, looking sharp here in keeping Cote at bay and hitting some powerful single strikes. Alves looks physically old - despite somehow being only 33 - but this fight suggested he has a few years left as a veteran gatekeeper, assuming he stays healthy. Unfortunately, I don’t see anyone obvious for him to gatekeep at the moment - let’s go with LaFlare, who’s been hanging around the fringes of relevancy for a while now and could use a solid big-name opponent.

Gregor Gillespie (beat Andrew Holbrook) vs. Marc Diakiese: Gillespie is probably a natural featherweight rather than a lightweight, but that hasn’t hurt him yet, as he continued his winning ways by obliterating Holbrook in just 21 seconds. I can understand why you’d want to keep them apart and let them build their own momentum, but screw it, let’s go with Gillespie against British prospect Marc Diakiese, coming off his own explosive knockout win last month. Gillespie’s a national champion wrestler, Diakiese is an athletic freak - I’d love to see how the styles of the two would interact.

Will Brooks (lost to Charles Oliveira) vs. Josh Emmett (lost to Desmond Green): I have no idea where Brooks goes from here - the former Bellator champ is a better fighter over five rounds than three, so a bumpy path up the lightweight ladder wasn’t exactly unexpected, but Oliveira looked like a layup of a style matchup, and instead Brooks just lost in ridiculously one-sided fashion. No obvious next fight calls out to me, so let’s go with Team Alpha Male product Emmett, who lost on this card - Emmett’s a solid enough, well-rounded fighter, and is a good test just to see if Brooks can get his career back on track.

Patrick Cummins (beat Jan Blachowicz) vs. C.B. Dollaway: Cummins, amazingly, took a bunch of abuse early and actually came back to win a clear decision over Blachowicz, but I still don’t really know where he goes from here - he’s an excellent wrestler and has some solid skills elsewhere, but his lack of defense and durability puts a clear ceiling on how far Cummins can go. You can keep ping-ponging him up and down the light heavyweight ladder - and given how thin 205 is, maybe just keep doing that and hope Cummins scores a breakthrough win - but instead I’ll pit Cummins against C.B. Dollaway, assuming Dollaway fights again after injuring his back in an elevator-related incident right before UFC 203. Dollaway could get off to a solid start in a new weight class, and Cummins is pretty much the exact right level of guy for that debut.

Magomed Bibulatov (beat Jenel Lausa) vs. Louis Smolka/Tim Elliott (Apr. 15) winner: Bibulatov didn’t have an amazing statement win over Lausa, but he looked good, and he does seem to be earmarked as a guy who could eventually challenge Demetrious Johnson. But, this being MMA, it’s hard to get too excited, since reports are he may essentially be an executioner for Chechen dictator Ramzan Kadyrov. Alright then. Assuming UFC doesn’t suddenly start caring about that and cuts him, Bibulatov should move up the ladder fairly quickly, and that should probably start with someone like either Smolka or Elliott, top-fifteen guys who face off next week in Kansas City.

Shane Burgos (beat Charles Rosa) vs. Chas Skelly/Jason Knight (May 13) winner: Burgos continues to look good, as he pretty much dictated the terms of his fight with Charles Rosa before eventually turning things up and scoring a stoppage midway through the third round. I could go either way about how far to push Burgos up the ladder next, but let’s give him a solid step up against either Skelly or Knight, who square off at UFC 211; either Skelly’s wrestling or Knight’s volume striking would provide an interesting challenge for the New Yorker.

Sean Strickland (lost to Kamaru Usman) vs. Michael Graves: Well, that was a bad loss. Strickland was kind of expected to lose to Kamaru Usman, but the fight wound up being the sort of one-sided shellacking that makes you question Strickland’s whole career trajectory. There’s still upside there, and assuming Michael Graves is eligible to fight again after a domestic violence incident last fall, that’d be a fine next test - Strickland’s takedown defense seems to be an open question, and Graves is a rugged wrestler.

Andrew Holbrook (lost to Gregor Gillespie) vs. Lando Vannata: Holbrook got absolutely smoked by Gillespie, and his win over Jake Matthews looks like an even weirder result in retrospect - or maybe it just says a ton of negative things about Matthews. Anyway, I view Holbrook as more cannon fodder than someone to actually develop, so he’s someone that I’d gladly put against, say, Lando Vannata or some other more interesting prospect that needs a rebound win.

Desmond Green (beat Josh Emmett) vs. Daniel Hooker/Ross Pearson (Jun. 10) winner: Green’s signing was a bit baffling, since he was kind of a boring grinder on the regional circuit, but he came through big - I expected him to beat Emmett (which a lot of people didn’t), but Green also suddenly flashed a much-improved striking game that actually made his win watchable. Daniel Hooker moves up to lightweight to face Ross Pearson in his native New Zealand this June, and the winner of that fight’s a fine step up to see how Green’s improvements continue to hold up.

Katlyn Chookagian (beat Irene Aldana) vs. Marion Reneau: Most people seemed to give the nod to Aldana, but her fight with Katlyn Chookagian was close enough that either fighter could’ve won. So Chookagian gets to hang out on the fringes of the rankings, and a bout with Reneau would make for a fun contest between two action fighters.

Jan Blachowicz (lost to Patrick Cummins) vs. Saparbek Safarov: Blachowicz had Cummins dead to rights early in their fight, but amazingly couldn’t capitalize, and eventually Blachowicz’s gas tank issues reared their ugly head en route to what became a one-sided loss. Blachowicz is flawed, but worth keeping around just so light heavyweight has a middle tier of the division basically, so Russian brawler Saparbek Safarov figures to be a rebound win that can keep Blachowicz in UFC.

Irene Aldana (lost to Katlyn Chookagian) vs. Veronica Macedo: The fight could’ve gone either way, but a decision loss suddenly puts Aldana at 0-2 in the UFC, which is a harsh blow for someone who was expected to be a bit of a Latin star for the promotion. Aldana’s performances have still been good enough that she should get a third shot, and Macedo, a raw, undersized grappler, figures to be a solid shot at a win.

Charles Rosa (lost to Shane Burgos) vs. Jared Gordon: Rosa had flashes in losing to a much better prospect in Burgos, but the Bostonian pretty much is what he is - a fun, if flawed, fighter. Jared Gordon was just signed off Dana White’s reality show, and Rosa would be a fun first opponent - plus it can continue the whole “Boston versus New York” angle that we saw with the Rosa/Burgos fight.

Pearl Gonzalez (lost to Cynthia Calvillo) vs. Kailin Curran: Well, Gonzalez certainly made a name for herself, but not in any way that she probably would’ve wanted to - she got some viral buzz when her breast implants were flagged by the New York commission, which has a rule on the books banning women with breast implants from boxing. Once things got hashed out, the fight was back on, and, well, Gonzalez looked as raw as she is, losing a rather one-sided decision. A fight with Kailin Curran is pretty perfect to make - both fighters are raw, and, frankly, might not be particularly good, but get some attention due to their looks, and it seems about right for them to essentially do a loser leaves town fight.

Jenel Lausa (lost to Magomed Bibulatov) vs. Naoki Inoue/C.J. de Tomas (Jun. 17) loser: I’ve never been particularly impressed with Filipino prospect Lausa, but hey, he at least survived three rounds with top Russian signing Bibulatov. Lausa against either Inoue or de Tomas, two Asian fighters debuting against each other in Singapore this June, seems like a natural fight to make for some upcoming Asian card.

Mike De La Torre (lost to Myles Jury) vs. Alex Enlund: In a rarity, De La Torre’s the only guy on this card who’s probably going to be cut, which is understandable, but a bit of a shame - De La Torre is too aggressive for his own good, which is fun, but often makes for complete blowout losses, like this one to Jury. There’s not a natural opponent for a pink slip derby at the moment, so let’s go with British prospect Enlund, who had his slated UFC debut last September scrapped at the last moment.

[herocious]

Rise and Fall

by herocious

Security guard in parking lot

I hope Dana didn't think I was being too--how do you say?--intrusive. I mean, I just think she would be a good woman to have on the cover of my next CD, you know, she has a good enough face and body so that her picture would attract a lot of attention to my new release and get people to buy it.

The truth is that she should be honored that I asked her to do this for me because it's not like I asked her to pose topless or anything, right? Well, maybe Dana doesn't feel so honored just yet since she hasn't heard what my music sounds like, but I gave her my last CD to listen to just now. Once she pops that into her radio she'll know the talent she's dealing with. I'm The Legend.

Apt. 119

The pasta is cooking. Usually I stand over the pot and watch it boil, but not this time. The apartment is empty of noise, empty of people. Only one light is on; the light I'm using. I'm writing under this light. Outside it's dark. Cars are passing, their tires making smooth streaking sounds as they roll.

Apt. 219

Ah yes, I love watching television. Mike doesn't like it so much though. He'd prefer to sleep, read, or make love. I think it's in that order, too. But me, I like watching television before I fall asleep. Mike always tells me to turn down the volume. I don't know why he tells me to do this; he has no right to since it's my damn television--I bought it with my own damn money--but still I do him the favor and turn it down. Not because I'm submissive, but because I'm kind.

Apt. 319

Shit I have a big dog. He's taking up my whole damn bed, but I don't complain; he's been a good dog so far. Hey, funny I haven't named him yet even though I've had him for a coupla days. You know, I don't think there's really any use in naming him though because when I want to get his attention I just look into his eyes and whistle or clap and he wags his tail and nods his head up and down and walks on over to me just fine.

Wait a sec, what's that smell. Yep, that's definitely a fart, but it wasn't me. Oh shit, the dog did it! Damn that stinks.

Apt. 41

-But I didn't sleep with her! -You didn't, huh? Well, I don't believe you. -Jesus, Vicky, what do I have to do to make you believe me? -How `bout showing me some lovin' for starters. Also, I'd like to know where the hell you go off in the middle of the night for Christ's sake. -Nowhere, and I'll prove it to you. It's the middle of the night right now and look where I am--right here with you! -You sound like I should be grateful for that. -Look, I promise that I didn't sleep with her, Vicky. You have to believe me. I've been interviewing her for my job and she's only free on weeknights, that's all. -Whatever. Are you attracted to me anymore? -What kind of question is that? Of course I'm attracted to you. -Then why are we talking instead of fucking? -Beats me.

Apt. 519

Where are my teeth? I need to eat some chocolate before I go to bed. I know I put them on my nightstand, but where are they now? God I'm getting old. I miss Harry. He'd know where my teeth are, I know he would. He always knew where I put my teeth. I remember one time I left them under my pillow, only God knows how they got there, and he found them for me as if it wasn't strange that they were there in the first place. And another time they were in the refrigerator, right next to my box of chocolates. Lord knows what they were doing in there. Surely I didn't take them out to eat my chocolates; then how would I chew? Still, Harry found them for me. He simply went straight to the refrigerator, opened the door, and came back to the bedroom with my teeth--bless his heart.

Apt. 619

-L-A-Z-E, laze -What! That's not a word. -Sure it is. -I don't believe you. -You want to challenge me then? -Laze? What does it mean? -Like `he sat in a laze.' You know, it's like a weird funk, sort of like daze except with some laziness added to it. > -I still don't believe you. -Then challenge me. -No, forget it. How much is it? -Well, I got a triple word score, and a double letter, too. So 14 times 3 is ... 42. -42! Damn, that better be a word. -It is, I promise.

Apt. 719

(Ringing telephone.)

-Hello? -Hi, it's me, could you buzz open the gate? -All right, baby.

(Fifteen minutes later.)

-Hey Dana, sorry if I woke you? -No baby, it's no problem; you know I get home from work `round this time. I was just watching some television. -Really? I don't hear anything. -That's `cuz I have the volume down low. Hey, what took you so long to get here? It's not like I live that far away from the guest parking or anything. -Yeah, I figured you'd be asking that. I ran into your security guard driving around in his golf cart--it always cracks me up when I see him roving the prop. -And? -Well, I stopped and talked with him for a little while. Then I remembered that I had some beer in the trunk, and, you know how I've always thought that he looks so lonely out there waving at every resident as they pass by him in their car, so I offered him a bottle in return for a ride around the premises on his golf cart. -Really! Did he give one? -Sure he did. And you should've heard all the funny stories he has about some of the residents in this building. That guy's pretty cool, you know. -I don't know about that. I think he's a little strange. Before I came in tonight he drove up alongside me in the parking lot and asked if ... you will never guess. -What? -He asked me if I wanted to be on the cover of his new CD. -What! Your security guard is a musician. -It's news to me, too. He said I have a face that's `naturally photogenic.' -Hmm... -Then he gave me one of his CD's for free to listen to and told me that if I respected the music, which he was sure I would, then maybe I would actually want to be on his next cover. -Wow, you're a model now. -Hardly. So, why did you decide to show up tonight? This is a surprise. (Silence. Sudden change of mood.) -Oh well, look, I'm sorry to, uh, have bothered you so late, Dana, but I really feel like we need to talk. -Uh-oh, this sounds serious. -It is. -Well, what is it? -I've been thinking a lot about us, and, well, I think we need some time apart. -Time apart? -Yeah. < -Um okay, if that's what you want, baby. -You're fine about it then? -Yeah. - Do you at least want to know why? -No, not really. I know you have your reasons, all men do. -You sure you're fine about this? -Yeah, of course. -Okay. Well uh, I'll see you later then? -Bye.

(Dana closes door softly, goes back into bedroom, and turns up volume on television. Then she cries, and, in between each sob, curses his name.)

Apt. 619

-C-R-O-C, croc -Croc? That's not a word. -Sure it is. You know, like short for crocodile. -Well, I don't think it's a word, but I'll let you have it since you let me have laze. -Ah-hah! So laze isn't a word. -It is a word. -Then why are you giving me croc. -Because I love you. How many did you get? -24. -Ugh, I can't believe you. -Yeah well, it's not 42.

Apt. 519

There you are. How did you get in there? In my hair of all places! I must've put them up there by accident. But why in the world would I put them in my hair? There's no reason. I wonder if Harry would've found them there. Of course he would've. He would've seen them in my hair and reached out and grabbed them. Or maybe he would've left them there just for laughs.

He sure got a good laugh every now and then by doing stupid things like that. Sometimes he'd pretend like he couldn't hear and make me yell the same thing over and over again and all he'd do is scratch his ears if he did anything at all, and I'd keep on yelling as I walked closer to him. Then he'd look at me, and in the softest voice he'd say, `I hear ya, sweetheart.' Then he'd laugh a little.

Yes, on second thought, he probably would've left my teeth where they were just so he could get a laugh. He'd say, `Where could they be? I've checked everywhere. Do you remember where you last saw them, sweetheart?' And I'd answer all his questions with my teeth in my hair. Dear Lord, I'm getting old.

-Oh I miss you, Harry. I sure do.

Apt. 419

-So let's fuck. -And after thinking I slept with someone else--man, you're serious, aren't you Vicky? -Do you want me to answer that? Now come on into the bedroom! I got the candles lit for us and everything. -Uh-huh, and I see that you've also changed into my favorite lingerie there, didn't you? -Just for you. Damn, I'm gonna give it to her real good this time. Sometimes I just lie there and let her do all the work, but not this time--huh-uh. I'm gonna give it to her just how she likes it and once she gets off she'll forget all about that other woman.

Apt. 319

Maybe I should give him a name ... yeah, I better. Besides, what'll I do when I walk him and someone says, "Nice dog. What's his name?" It'd seem sorta weird if I said, "Well, he doesn't have one." But then again, that wouldn't be so bad if it was a hot girl asking me because then I'd have an excuse to talk with her. But otherwise ...

All right, here's what I'll do, I'll give him a name, but if a hot girl asks me about him I'll say that he doesn't have one, and then we'll have to talk some until I get her number; I'll be the `different guy' with the nameless dog. Yeah, that sounds good. So what should I name him? How `bout . . . hell, I don't know.

Wait, I got it! Pimp. I'll name him Pimp.

-What do you think about that Pimp? Huh, Pimp? Are you a good boy, Pimp? Yeah, Pimp's a good boy, isn't he? Pimp and I are going to go walking tomorrow around the track, aren't we, Pimp? You like being walked, huh, don't you, Pimp?

Apt. 219

Maybe I'm too kind. The only thing Mike does all day is sit on his ass while I work. When I leave in the morning he's sleeping. When I come back in the evening he's waking up from a nap. He usually doesn't like admitting this, but I can tell from his messed up hair and wrinkled cheeks. Then he never fails to ask me to cook dinner. The nerve of him. I usually think about spitting in his face right about then, but then he acts all nice, and all I can do is be kind and cook.

Oh no, there he goes snoring again. Man, he snores loud. I'm gonna turn up the volume just to piss him off. There, I hope he wakes up and can't fall back asleep. I wonder what he'd do then, maybe slap me. Shit, if he did that I wouldn't even think about spitting in his face, I would just tell him to get out. This is my fucking apartment, you fucking bum. That's what I'd say.

Wake up! Is that loud enough for you? Wake up, you snoring bum! I hope you can't sleep. I hope you have bad dreams and wake up and feel terrible because guess what ... I'm not as kind as you think I am. I can be a real bitch sometimes. You just watch. From now on things are going to be different around here. No more cooking; no more keeping the volume down low; no more days spent sleeping while I work my tail off. Things are going to be different around here starting right now I tell you. Bum!

-Gosh honey, could you please turn that down? Thanks.

But I'm just so damn kind.

Apt. 119

Smooth streaking sounds as they roll ... their tires making smooth streaking sounds as they roll ... and then what? Where are the cars going after the sounds stop? Passed my apartment and then where after that? Damn it! There's a great story where they're going; I'm sure of it. But where exactly are they going?

Ah hell, forget about writing something--I got my whole life for that. And the pasta's probably done by now anyway.

Security guard in parking lot

That beer sure was good ... you know, it'd be nice if that guy could give me another. Hey, that's right, I've seen him `round here lately; always parks in the guest lot. Maybe I'll drive up alongside him when he comes back--if he does--and politely ask for another. But I wonder if he was going to see Dana. Wait, I think I remember seeing those two a little tipsy together the other night ... nah--doubt it was the same guy. She's way too much woman for him, gonna be on the cover of The Legend's new CD--I'm sure of it.

Originally appeared in Whistling Shade

[nightingveilxo]

Unless otherwise indicated, fics have an Explicit rating, and John is in (Sugar)Daddy, Captain, Top and/or Dom, Alpha, One In the Know, etc role.

Daddy and Sugar Daddy John Watson

A Sherlock In Pink by TheSherlocked (yes, me) Ch: 4/? Words: 12,839

John Watson is invalided home after his time in Afghanistan, a broken man with no real prospects, and a dwindling bank account. Former colleague Mike Stamford introduces him to the most unusual young man John has ever met, a tea shop owner that looks more like a runway model than anything else, but with a mind like a steel trap. An AU meeting, where John comes back into his own, and Sherlock learns some of the most valuable of life lessons. [This is going to be 6 chapters I think, and then ficlets for certain additional elements.]

Everything You Need by Sexxica Ch: 1 Wods: 6,272

Sherlock is the shy little thing that successful and wealthy Doctor Watson’s dreams are made of. Luckily, Sherlock could really use a Daddy in his life and a good bit of looking after.

Sugar Daddy John (series) by Sexxica Works: 7 Words: 22,504

The very best of Sugar Daddy John and his boy, Sherlock.

To A Tee by lookupkate Ch: 14 Words: 15,321

Sherlock receives a text from an unknown number. The man is under the impression that he needs a sugar daddy. After careful consideration…well, he could be right.

Follow Me Down by 221BeStillMyHeart (HighTimesWithHiddles) Ch: 10 Words: 67,725

Sherlock Holmes is a 23 year old genius working as a forensic analyst at Bart’s hospital. John Watson is a 38 year old army captain just back from war, working as the lead surgeon in the trauma ward. A chance meeting brings them together, and no one is ever the same.

A Kept Man Isn’t A Weak Man by Elphen Ch: 1 Words: 20,429 A/B/O

Sherlock is just out of university, but due to drug habits acquired at said college, Mycroft has cut him off, hoping to put a stop to it that way. Instead, Omega Sherlock struggles doubly, both with his cravings and with finding a job that will not bore him to death and support him financially. Then, when he is on the verge of being completely destitute, he finds several hundred pounds ticking into his account for no apparent reason. He thinks it’s Mycroft, but instead he receives an email from someone who promises to send him more money every fortnight and put him up in a flat rent free, on two conditions; he will stop taking drugs and he will occasionally be asked to be a companion for someone. He does not want to be bought like some toy, but what choice does he have?

A Suitable Stain by vitruvianwatson (keepyoueyesfixedonme) Ch: 1 Words: 7,647

John imagines what they must look like–the young, gorgeous university student, naked as the day he was born, draped over the well-dressed older doctor, the muscles rippling in Sherlock’s back as his slim hips roll that beautiful arse up into the air and back down again, his spine curving beneath John’s hand as he moves it to the small of Sherlock’s back to feel the movement. The hard outline of Sherlock’s cock slides back and forth across John’s body, dampening his clothes with precome, and John moves both hands down to Sherlock’s arse, squeezing and pulling him in harder.

Bespoke by consultingbluebell Ch: 1 Wods: 5728

Sherlock is not at all happy about having to wear a suit for an upcoming party, but he might just change his mind when he meets successful and talented tailor John Watson.

A Little Sugar Never Hurt Anybody by beautifullyheeled Ch: 3/? WIP Words: 11,223

Sherlock’s search for a quiet place to study gave him a whole new learning opportunity.

Breck Verse (series) by orphaned Works: 4 Words: 22,363 (Last story never completed, but doesn’t effect the completion of other stories.)

Dr. Watson, world-renowned cardiac surgeon, accepts an invitation to be keynote speaker at a medical conference in Breckenridge, Colorado, a ski resort town in the Rocky Mountains. He meets a sexy young bartender at the opening dinner then spends the week making his baby happy.

Wrapped Around Your Finger by MojoFlower Ch: 4 Words: 27,308 (There is a bit too much top!lock at the end for my taste, but the beginning is good.)

Virgin!Sherlock, 18 and just out of school, is in Morocco in the early 1900’s to learn about the ways of the world. Dr. John Watson, lately of the British Army and invalided out at age of 36, picks him up in the market place. Lessons (you know what kind) are taught and absorbed. Inspired by the song Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police. I’d say PWP, except there’s a soupçon of plot, given that it’s a story worked around the lyrics of the song.

Captain John Watson

Command Structure by 221b_hound Ch: 16 Words: 49,034 (I’ve read this one several times.)

Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them.

But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect.

John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Across Every Universe - Green Eyes at Rainbow Corner by Pmzilla Ch: 18/21 WIP Words: 21,505 Based on a prompt I created about the WWII song Green Eyes

Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a Naval Lieutenant at American Red Cross Club in London, Rainbow Corner to find out whether the plans for the D-Day Invasion have been compromised by an American Colonel. Whilst investigating, he meets the captivating Capt. John Watson, who finds himself centre stage in both the dance club and Sherlock’s investigation.

Captain, My Captain (Part I of The Stripper Diaries series) by twistedthicket1 Ch: 1 Words: 7,845

Sherlock Holmes walks into a strip club for a case. He winds up leaving with more than he bargained for…

Captain Watson

by Sexxica Ch: 1 Words: 5,144

Sherlock is bored and it is driving John insane. Time for Captain Watson to take charge.

Surrender (Part II of the Unwind series) by illwick Ch: 3 Words: 13,506

Sherlock and John take a stab at negotiating a kink. Three rounds of filthy smut ensue. (Includes gunplay)

AU Dom!John/sub!sherlock

A Little Help from my Friends by Ttime42 Ch: 28 Words: 140,776

In a world where everyone identifies as either a dominant or a submissive, Sherlock is having a rough time moving on from a bad relationship and has sworn off doms forever. John has recently returned to London from war and has a fortuitous run in with an old friend in a park. Sherlock and John’s lives are changed forever because of that chance meeting, and they’ll both find their way through life with a little help from their friends.

Shames and Praises by s0mmerspr0ssen Ch: 7 Words: 51,919

Unable but desperate to find a dom who will put up with him, Sherlock swallows his pride and turns to Mycroft for help. Shortly after, John Watson steps into Sherlock’s life.

Library Lock

Collection of Clues by ianavi Ch: 1 Words: 8,922 (I’ve read this one several times.)

There was no sleeping that night. And not due to the awkward stammering in the stacks of the library. Or the phrasing of what felt as a sudden dismissal. All Sherlock could think about was John’s gaze on his neck, lips, reddening cheeks. How heated he felt under that gaze, how alone when John left. He was itching with desperation to not just be looked at but also touched. It was juvenile fantasy. But he was alone in his bedroom, it was past midnight, and he could indulge. He imagined John’s hand reaching to touch his cheek, his fingers brushing his lips. He buried his head into the pillow and groaned. Could John ever see him like that, ever want him?

A Study In Flirting by GubraithianFire Ch: 1 Words: 5,885

Sherlock is the new librarian at the university library. John is bad with pick-up lines.

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier Ch: 1 Words: 18,115

Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it’s unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.

Careless by lookupkate Ch: 15 Words: 23,652

Sherlock is an eighteen year old student working at a library. John is an army medic sent back to London after an injury. He’s spending a lot of time at the library working on his PhD. Sherlock decides he wants to fuck this mystery student, so he initiates a sexual relationship. He doesn’t really do emotional attachment anyhow, and if he tells John he’s twenty three, what’s the harm? It’s not like he’ll want John to stick around. Right? Right?!?

Sherlock done fucked up.

360.5 by justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic) Ch: 6 Words: 18,761

One would think that working as a page at the university library would be relatively peaceful, but what John spies through the gap in the shelves changes his mind.

Arranged Marriage or Domestic Situation

The Bachelor’s Handfasting by Jberry Ch: 20 Words: 20,625 (Sherlock is the smolest gay baby in this one, John is an older widower, and I have probably read this fic a dozen times.)

After her son is caught in a compromising position, Victoria Holmes must make arrangements for a quick marriage between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

A Human’s Prize by clearinghouse Ch: 2 Words: 22,232 (Sherlock is a smol merman, John is a bamf!, and I’ve read this one several times.)

Prince John is a well-travelled man of the world, and yet even he is taken aback when a beautiful merman is delivered to the doorstep of the castle. Despite the helpless creature’s fear of him, John resolves to be the best host he can be for his adorable new guest.

Il Traviato by kedgeree Ch: 18 Words: 68,809 (It’s much like Pretty Woman, but Sherlock and John are very in character. Moments of switchlock.)

A down-on-his-luck ex-soldier meets a wealthy businessman in need of a short-term companion

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria Ch: 27 Words: 95,159 (Another I’ve read several times.)

Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.

“The essentials of their relationship distilled through solitude.” –review by Alicat

A/B/O

Siege by PlainJane Ch: 17 Words: 55,410

In 1415, English archer John of Kenilworth is sent by Lord Mycroft Holmes from the field of victory at Agincourt to protect a remote French castle. Cherinfourde is under some dark cloud and John means to get to the bottom of it, in his lord’s name. If only he could stop thinking about the most unusual omega he has ever met.

Loving Care by Elphen Ch: 3 Words: 22,124

AU, Omegaverse, Modern times with Edwardian social structure. Omega Sherlock, out of options for another job, goes into the traditonal Omega occupation of male nurturer. His very first job is taking care of 16-month-old Hamish, son of the highly respected, socially connected widowed doctor, Alpha John Watson. He grows to love the kid very quickly, which he hadn’t expected, nor did he expect to fall for the Alpha quite so hard. Much as they hit it off, though, and whatever behaviour John exhibits, Sherlock knows that they are too far apart socially, even without John still being in love with his wife. His time is limited. Isn’t it?

Night Song (Niht Drēam) by Bashfulbunny (Aequoreavictoria) Ch: 15/? WIP Words: 15,579 soft A/B/O

Battle hardened alpha John’s self-discipline is tested by his overwhelming attraction to Sherlock, a young prisoner-of-war omega in need of his protection and care.

Historical AUs (That don’t fit the categories above)

Basically anything by Holly Sykes (Artemis8147)

This Man’s Heart by ellie_hell Ch: 24 Words: 72,991

In the latter part of the 19th century, a peculiar solitary man and an ex-army doctor disfigured at war live in a small village, surrounded by breathtaking landscapes. When they first meet, they have no idea their lives are about to change forever and, over the months, they will form an unusual friendship, discover more about each other and themselves, and maybe fall a little in love along the way.

Against All Odds by ravenscar Ch: 34 Words: 126,088 (Read three times, and the quick summary does not do it justice.)

When a Crusader crosses paths with an enigmatic young Briton in the Holy Land, their lives are changed forever.

TSR81 Collection on AO3 for all categories.

Still being regularly updated, but here is the current rec list as its own page: http://221bloodnun.tumblr.com/reclist

Making it rebloggable :) @221beesplace @meta-lock (for credit on Capt Watson fic) @yorkiepug

If anyone else wishes to be tagged, let me know and I will add you to my list.

[thecompostpile]

31 Nights of Hallowicked Night 1

Night 1

 CZW Cage of Death 6 

12/11/04

Last year I attempted to watch and review 31 Hallowicked matches. The idea was really just to watch more Chikara. I watched the first-ever Chikara main event along with watch a show that happened right in the middle of October. This year I have access to three different streaming services instead of just Chikaratopia and Youtube. I didn’t quite make it last year missing quite a few days because match reviews take a long time and I wore myself out. I hope that won’t happen this year but I can’t make any promises. 

I really didn’t get into independent wrestling until about 2015 so I have no reference for most stuff before 2015. I have watched back a fair amount of Chikara and if something or someone grabs my attention I will go back and watch it but CZW is not that something. I have no reference for most CZW things so I thought a fun way to try and get into would be this match from 2004. Chikara and CZW couldn’t be more different from each other in every single way: fanbase, style, wrestling. But around this time I am pretty sure the two were sharing a school. This means Chikara people on CZW show and a lot of deathmatch dudes being trained by Mike Quakenbush like G-Raver and Rory Gulak. I wanted to watch one of the Cage of Death matches and I decided on this match when I saw the Chikara’s trio match at the start of the card. 

This match is a trios match from CZW in 2004. The match starts with Chris Hero upset that he was not booked on the show to defend whatever title he is holding and instead tell BlackJack Marciano that he will be competing in a trios match. I have no idea why Chris Hero is allowed to make trios matches for CZW I haven’t watched much CZW so I do not really know how things work there. I guess you can just make trios matches if he wants to. It’s fine though. Chris Hero knows a lot about wrestling. He puts together a very good team. Chris Hero even calls Hallowicked his personal favorite wrestler. Which I agree with. 

Black Jack will be teaming with Larry Sweeny and Hallowicked to face Mike Quakenbush, Jigsaw and Gran Akuma. Larry Sweeny comes out in all pink with a purple feather boa. Hallowicked comes out in all black with his mask with green features and a pumpkin stem. Gran Akuma is still donning a mask and Mike Quackenbush has a lil soul patch. A young Bryce Remsburg is a ref in a yellow CZW ref shirt. 

I guess because this is Cage of Death or whatever there are two rings like the old WCW War Games style. I believe this match will only use one. The commentator talks about how this will be lucha rules. Black Jack rips off a paper sign a fan-made and throws it at Gran Akuma. Hallowicked starts the match with Gran Akuma. The two lock up as some fans, not very loudly chant “YOU SUCK”. Neither of these wrestlers sucks though so I don’t know. 

Hallowicked gets an arm wrencher locked on Akuma. Gran Akuma lucha rolls out of it getting his own wrist lock on Hallowicked. Hallowicked drops to one knee and does a stunner kind of roll to get Gran Akuma off of him. Gran Akuma goes to jump off the turnbuckle but Hallowicked gets under him and Gran Akuma is on Hallowicked’s shoulders. Gran Akuma gets out of that with an arm drag in a really cool looking opening sequence, which I imagine did not look like anything else on that CZW card.

Hallowicked screams in pain as Gran Akuma pelts him with kicks. Hallowicked hits the ropes and dodges a clothesline. Hallowicked goes for a head scissors but Gran Akuma catches it and instead locks in a stretch muffler. BlackJack breaks the hold up illegally tossing out Gran Akuma. Mike Quackenbush quickly gets in the ring and kicks BlackJack hard then getting him in the wristlock. BlackJack gets his own wristlock in but Mike turns it into his own octopus hold. Then another submission and finally Robin Hood Special. Really showing why people call him the Master of A Thousand Holds. 

Hallowicked interference and Larry Sweeny helps to double team, Quakenbush. But Quackenbush isn’t going to just lay down for them. This is Cage of Death after all. He uses a series of lucha moves that all look very cool to outpace both Larry Sweeny and Hallowicked. Quack even hits an arm drag off the second rope that looks wild. He manages to get Hallowicked alone in the ring and tags in Jigsaw. Larry Sweeny takes Hallowicked’s place. Sweeny and Black Jack hang Jigsaw from the second rope and Hallowicked tags in and hits a rolling leg drop onto Jigsaw. He goes for a pin but only gets a two. Hallowicked’s team makes quick tags working over Jigsaw.

So it turns out they are using the other ring. Black Jack lands in the middle of the two rings Jigsaw then Larry Sweeny then Hallowicked and then Bryce all use BlackJack as a bridge to get to the other ring. Gran Akuma frog splashes BlackJack to the floor. Mike Quackenbush jumps to the top rope of the first ring and springboard clotheslines Hallowicked and Larry Sweeny who are, if you remember, in the second ring. Bryce Remsburg jumps in pain just at the site of it. 

The match is now taking place in the second ring. Hallowicked and Mike Quackenbush trade arm drag. Black Jack grabs Mike and Hallowicked goes for a big boot hitting Black Jack instead. Hallowicked flips Quack out of the ring but onto BlackJack. Mike flips over Hallowicked into the ring where Hallowicked drops down and catches Quack up against the ropes with a hard chop. The two whip each other across the ring and Hallowicked lands into Larry Sweeny. Mike Quackenbush clotheslines Hallowicked out of the ring. 

All three of Chikara’s team then dive out the ring onto Hallowicked’s team. A CZ DOUB chant starts. Hallowicked gets tossed into Sweeny and Mike and Akuma turn them both into a quadruple Boston crab.  Black Jack breaks it up. The match works it’s way to the first ring again. Where BlackJack Marchiano hits his finisher on Jigsaw for the win. 

This match was a lot fun because it is classic Chikara regulars doing exactly what Chikara does best, multi-man matches. It was really fun to see how Chikara uses both rings because they would probably not get that chance to use two rings again. I have never watched much CZW and whenever I try to I don’t get much from it but this match was fun. I may even watch some other matches on the card because I am interested in seeing the Cage of Death.