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vickyvicarious · 4 years ago

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Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List

Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.

This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:

PROS

References

Continuity

Nate

Representation

Themes

New Characters

General Vibe

CONS

'Maker and Fixer'

Episode Twins

Sophie's Stagefright

Thiefsome

You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.

PROS

References

There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.

We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.

Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.

Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.

Continuity

Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.

It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.

Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.

There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.

Nate

Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.

Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.

Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.

That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.

Representation

Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!

Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)

Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.

Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.

Themes

I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).

New Characters

Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.

As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.

General Vibe

A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.

CONS (no, not that kind)

'Maker and Fixer'

So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.

Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.

Episode Twins

This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.

Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.

The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.

The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.

I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.

The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.

Sophie's Stagefright

Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.

This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.

Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.

I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.

Thiefsome

...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.

The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.

The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.

But then there was this.

I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.

Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.

Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.

But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.

But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.

Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.

And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.

It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.

Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.

That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #leverage meta #my meta #this turned into a BIG ol ramble #i planned to write like a couple of sentences for each point but noooo

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heliosthegriffin · 4 years ago

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Dr. Jaune! Saving lives!

A plain plywood door is opened into a white walled doctor’s office, which has one occupant a tan man with side burns.

A blonde haired young-man dress in a black scrub shirt, blue scrub pants, and a white over-coat comes into the room followed by a short red-head in pink scrubs.

“Hello, I’m doctor Jaune Arc and this is my assistant Nora Valkyrie, but you can call her nurse Nora. You are Tukson, correct?” Dr. Jaune says looking at clipboard, before making eye-contact with Tukson, offering him a hand.

Tukson looks at Dr. Jaune’s hand nervously before briskly bringing it into a shake.

“Yes that is my name, can we uh, please make this quick? I wouldn’t have come here unless it was urgent,” Tukson said hastily.

‘Or since it was my last option.’

Jaune nods. “That’s agreeable, not many of my patients like to stay very long, so could you tell me what’s wrong?”

“You couldn’t notice?” Tukson asked.

“Notice what?” Jaune said with tilt of the head, Nora mirroring the doctors actions.

Tukson’s eye twitched. “Oh, you know I’ve just been having painfull headaches for about two weeks now, and I think it be due to having a Brother’s DAMN HOLE IN MY HEAD!” Tuksan said turning around to reveal a bloody opening in his head.

Jaune put the eraser of his pencil to his lip and hummed, Nora behind him took notes recording Tukson’s words and condition. “Hmm, I think I see the problem here.”

“OH! Do you now?!”

“Yes, I think I do, you’ve come down with a terminal case of rudeness, Nora deliver the anesthesia!”

Nora nods and pulls out her hammer, “Yes, Doctor!~” She says with a gleam in her eyes.

“Wait! What are you doing to my- AGGGGH!” Tukson screams as Nora bashs open his knee caps, breaking his legs. Tukson soon falling unconscious to the pain.

Jaune nods and smiles at Nora. “Good work Nurse Nora, you’re skill is impeccable!”

Nora blushes and rubs her foot on a tile. “Ah shuck, doc, you’re just saying that!”

“Hmm, I wish I could Nurse Nora, but I couldn’t put a man to sleep half as good as you can, neither could Nurse Pyrrha, Nurse Ren, or Doctor Weiss, you’re one of a kind, and we’re lucky to have you.”

Nora’s blush deepened, but she did not let that distract her as went to work picking up Tukson putting him on a gurney.

Jaune hopped on-top of the gurney, standing on it like a surfboard and pointing outward. “Quickly Nurse Nora to the operating room, we have a life to save!”

“Ay ay, Captain Doctor Jaune-Jaune!” Nora says pushing the gurney at race car speeds through the office walk and into the hallway. Jaune still somehow staying in place.

------ At the Operating Room------

“Nurse Nora, hand me the ground beef!” Jaune saying holding his hand out.

Nora hands Jaune the ground beef. “Ground beef, sir!”

Jaune shoves the ground beef into Tukson’s mouth, and forces it to chew.

“Nurse Nora, hand me the water!” Jaune holds a hand out to Nora.

Nora hands Jaune the water. “The water, Sir!”

Jaune pours the water down Tukson’s throat, forcing the ground beef down and keeping him hydrated.

Jaune hold his hand out to Nora, “Nurse Nora, the mouth wash!”

Nora hands Jaune a bottle of mouthwash. “The mouthwash, sir!”

Jaune pours mouthwash in Tukson’s mouth, closes the mouth and shakes the head like a coconut, before opening the mouth over the sink and slapping the back of Tukson’s head.

Jaune holds out his hand again, “Nurse Nora, your hand please!”

Nora hold her hand out to Jaune. “Here you are sir!”

Jaune takes Nora’s hand.

“Alright time for surgery.” Jaune’s free hand hover’s over Tukson’s form, a faint gold glow surrounds Tukson. The hole of the back of his head slowly then begins to close as the brain matter rewires itself and regrows, while the skull grows back into place with muscle and veins moving over the bone before skin reforms and hairs comes back.

Jaune moves his hand over Tukson’s knees and the broken bone reassembles along with the damaged tissue till it’s as good as it was before.

“Surgery complete.”

------

Tukson is willed out of the hospital.

Two figures watch from the other-side of the street.

“Damn, they did it again, those mavericks!” Police Chief Ironwoods say.

Officer Winter sighs and nods. “WIld they may be, but damn if Dr. Arc doesn’t do god’s work.”

Jaune stares out of his office window and smirks at Ironwood, still holding Nora’s hand. “Just another day at JNPR Hospital.”

--------

Bonus Appointment.

--------

A beautiful woman with tiger-ears, dusky striped skin and golden eyes waits in the doctor’s office.

Dr. Jaune comes in with a tall leggy, red-head nurse in green scrubs.

“Hello, you must be Sienna.” Jaune says taking a seat and rolling in front of her, offering a hand out.

Sienna doesn’t say anything, hunched over and growling. She doesn’t take the hand either.

“Hmm, more severe than I thought, Mmm, Nurse Pyrrha do you know what’s wrong with her?”

Nurse Pyrrha nods. “Yes Doctor, I do believe,” Pyrrha flips her clipboard. “She has a quite a bad case of Sword through Stomach-itis.”

Jaune looks down lower to see a black hilted red-bladed sword going through her front and out the back.

“Hmmm, this is quite severe, no time to wait, Nurse Pyrrha do your thing!”

“Yes Doctor!” Pyrrha’s hand glows black and the sword flies out of Sienna’s body and hit’s Jaune knocking him to the floor.

Sienna falls backwards spasming in pain and bleeding out.

Jaune is on the floor with a nose bleed.

“Doctor, no!” Pyrrha screams as she cradles Jaune in her arms.

Jaune coughs up some blood. “It’s not looking too good for me, is it Nurse Pyrrha?”

“You’ll be fine, I just know you will Doctor Jaune! I’ve seen you work miracles before!”

Jaune hacks up a lung on the floor “No, Nurse Pyrrha, I think this is the end of the line for me, tell Ren that I-”

“I love you too Doctor,” Pyrrha say not listening to Jaune.

“still need a ride home, what are you on about?”

Pyrrha goes red faced. “Platonic-ally?”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me, alright I’m getting up, sometimes I just want to be a drama king?” Docter Jaune says dusting himself off and takes Pyrrha’s offered hand as he gets up.

Jaune looks at Sienna as she bleeds out, then sticks his hand on top of her bleeding wound.

His hand glows a soft white as the blood stims and starts to clop. The organs heal under his touch, the muscles rebuild and soon the wound is gone.

“Another life saved! Call the janitor to clean up this office, and Pyrrha,” He hold a hand out to her, “Let’s gets some coffee, with Nora and Ren of course.” Jaune says with a wink.

Pyrrha take his hand, still blushing, and they leave the office.

Just another day at JNPR Hospital.

#Jaune Arc #Jaune Arc Crack #Nora Valkyrie #Tukson #Pyrrha Nikos #Sienna Khan

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

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Two Sides of the Coin (6)

Chapter 6: Occupational Complications | Jidné Sheedra x Cal Kestis

Summary: Hell-bent on exacting revenge and retrieving the Holocron, the dreaded Darth Vader is now on the hunt for the young Jedi Knight, Cal Kestis. Under the assumption that he still possessed the artifact, while fueled by the intrigue of the boy’s strength and skill with the Force, the dark lord hires the bounty hunter, Jidné Sheedra, to track him down and have him delivered alive. However, the task becomes a trial for young Jidné, as she faces a conflict that tests her beliefs of a scarred past she had hidden for so long.

Also in AO3

Tags: Fem OC, Jidné Sheedra, Force-Sensitive! Fem OC, Bounty Hunter! Fem OC, Jedi! Fem OC

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 �� 4 | Previous: Part 5 | Next: Part 7 | Masterlist

6 of ?

Jidné tilted her head back, sighing, she turned around to answer Cal right in the face.

“Yeah,” said Jidné, plainly.

She wrapped her cowl around her shoulders after clearing off the dust and leaves that clumped onto it during their skirmish with the Bashiji cats. They exchanged looks, but she kept her distance from him. Cal’s eyes wandered to the girl’s hilt, the two strands of turquoise beads attached to the ring of the pommel’s base stood out from the black and silver color scheme.

A robotic chittering came within their earshot, ID-3 appeared from the branches where he was hiding the whole time. Alarmed by the sight of a probe droid, Cal reignited his saber and pointed it at the black hovering disc of a droid.

“No, no, no—wait! He’s mine!” Jidné put herself between ID-3 and Cal who had his saber at the ready, who only looked at the Imperial probe droid by face value.

“He’s mine,” she repeated, more calmly this time.

Cal stopped at Jidné’s behest, he looked over her shoulder and saw the droid was hiding behind her back, its single red lens for an eye peeked over her hair.

Confused, Cal pulled his eyebrows together, “That Imperial probe droid is yours?”

“I reprogrammed him, and he’s with me,” she explained. She turned to the shuddering black disc hiding behind her shoulders. “It’s okay, ID-3, they won’t hurt us.”

Now standing much closer, she got a good long look at him. The sunlight that pored through the jungle canopy highlighted of his features for Jidné to see: the freckles that riddled his cheeks like stars to a night sky, the clear emerald shine of his eyes and the soft gaze that he makes with it.

Cal ticked the boxes of the job detail—red hair, a Jedi, and as much as she was too prideful to admit it he is handsome—but there’s no sign of the Holocron on his person. Jidné presumed that he wouldn’t carry it around with him, as people might mistake it for some heftily-priced relic.

He switched his saber off after believing that the probe droid was indeed harmless. ID-3 was still frightened from the sudden stance but quickly warmed up to Cal after spotting little BD-1, to prove that he was good, ID-3 raised one tentacle and waved it as if saying “Hello” both to Cal and BD-1.

“Booo-wooo…” BD-1 cautiously beeped in response. For good measure, he lit up his scanners at ID-3 and his lens panned up and down to get the full picture of the droid. The abrupt change of tone in BD-1 verified that ID-3 wasn’t the Imperial droid he used to be.

“See, he’s harmless!” Jidné insisted.

“Sorry we doubted you, ID,” Cal apologized for both himself and BD-1.

ID-3 accepted the apology, his raspy and monotonous tone somewhat had a cheery chirp in it.

“Oh! You’re hurt,” Cal uttered, spotting blood staining on Jidné’s jacket through the tears of her cowl.

Jidné searched for the injury, the adrenaline practically made her numb from feeling the sting, she only felt it when she slightly flexed her shoulder.

“Oh, crud…” she mumbled.

Cal snapped his fingers and out comes a healing stim from BD-1’s little compartment.

“Here,”

Jidné’s slender fingers picked up the green vial from Cal’s palm. She brought it closer to examine it.

“A healing stim,” she identified. “You have one impressive little droid.”

BD-1 took the compliment and chirped happily. Jidné sucked in some air before injecting herself of the green, soothing substance on the flesh of her upper arm. The substance relieved her of the pain, but she still has to treat the wound.

“Thank you, both of you,”

“You’re welcome, again,” Cal cooed bashfully, hanging his head low so Jidné doesn’t find him blushing.

And then the same awkward silence immediately followed them back.

“So, uh, what are you doing in the middle of the jungle?”

Okay, that was bad enough! Cal scolded himself in his subconscious.

“I should I ask you the same,” chuckled Jidné.

“W-Well, I was about to take a look around the town there until…”

Jidné bobbed her head, prompting him to continue.

“Until I heard you.” He finished.

“Oh… Well, my hero,” she giggled at her lighthearted yet dry joke. Cal received it as a compliment and awkwardly chuckled along with her.

The silence was getting old between the two of them now—that much they’re certain of. Both youngsters just don’t know how to interact with one another for their own various reasons.

“Listen, Jidné… um…”

“Yes?”

Cal had his tongue tied, he didn’t realize that he was saying things to her out on a whim, he didn’t exactly plan ahead with the conversations that he starts with her. He gulped the lump that’s been stuck in the middle of his throat so he could say the words right.

“You should treat that wound soon,”

Jidné examined her wound again, “Yeah, I suppose I should.”

“Right, err… so… I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Sure,” she shrugged her shoulder; in a deadpan tone, she added, “Maybe.”

Jidné watched this endearing, bumbling, ginger Jedi slowly back away into his original path. She remained where she stood until he was out of sight, out of the forest and back into the open—where he planned to be in the first place.

“Good gods, that boy… is a threat? To Darth Vader?”

“Trill, beeeee-eeep!” ID-3 chirped teasingly.

The bounty hunter translated the droidspeak, her own droid was teasing her that she must have found him cute.

“Oh shut up, you flying saucer,” she chuckled in great denial.

She began walking in the opposite path, where the wood gradually cleared out; along the way, she found her rifle that the Bashiji had chewed on. She picked the weapon and studied the damage, bite marks have dented the paneling; she flicked the safety and cocked it to see if it would still work.

“Well, so much for that mint condition earlier,” groaned the girl. “Come on, ID. I need to wash off this blood.”

The droid hovered as he followed her along, continuing to tease her in an upbeat string of notes and chirps—which Jidné constantly defended herself from.

“Beee-beeep!”

“You can’t prove I was blushing—you were behind me!”

Eventually, ID-3 finally toned down on the teasing, much to Jidné’s relief. Her trek ended when she spotted the bank of a river that leads to a waterfall on the far right, the crashing was within hearing range and so she decided to go to the main basin.

Stripping off her cowl and jacket, leaving only her black tank top, the claws of the Bashiji have sickled through the fabric and nicked at the corner of her shoulder; had that cat buried its nails into her then it would’ve reached the bone. Jidné soaked her clothes into the shallower part of the water, then scooped up handfuls of water to wash away the dried blood; when the wound had lessened the bleeding, she decided that it would be impractical if she hiked back to her ship to patch herself up.

“Never thought I’d be doing this again,” she mumbled under her breath.

She resorted to using Force healing, albeit was a skill that she’s still learning; in her level, it required her to meditate—compared to her late mentor who did it as simply as breathing, it was one of the things she strived to imitate in terms of mastery. Nonetheless, she sat herself up—back straight, legs crossed together, and her mentality clear. Jidné allowed herself to relax on her grassy seat, her fingers loosened around her kneecaps and took slow, calm breaths—feeling the warmth of the midday sun pinching her cheeks with its rays.

Her surroundings in her consciousness were beginning to blur as she puts her mind into focus. Her senses have softened and keened at the same time—a phenomenon that was instinctive as it was complicated to comprehend to those who are less sensitive, it was something she can’t put into words yet there was a familiarity to it. At first, she managed to reconnect with the Force and gently willed it to the wound—bit by bit, new skin began to seal the damaged flesh; when she sensed that she was succeeding, she strained out of impatience which she mistook for eagerness.

“Come on…!” muttered Jidné almost voicelessly, but the demand in her tone was apparent.

Jidné sensed that the new skin had slowed down in closing the wound, she forced herself just a little bit and she snapped back involuntarily; as consequence, the injury didn’t fully close, a significant portion of it remained fresh and unhealed—perhaps half in size. At least the bleeding stopped.

She examined her wound, patting on the new skin that concealed the rest of the injury. Accepting that she had lost control with her grasp on the Force, she resolved to letting what remains heal naturally; her mind shifted to the thought of Cal. The fact that he’s already met her and identified her as a Jedi—and not a bounty hunter—a strategy came up onto the top of her mind.

“This complicates things, though,” she thought out loud.

She continued to clean the grime, dust, and blood off of herself by the riverbank. Seeing that the forest was devoid of other humans or sentient life forms, she decided to take a dip into the cool water of the waterfall’s basin. The coldness blanketed and soothed every inch of her body, her dark hair swirling underwater; as she swam around, her mind constantly reminded her of Cal—the way he behaved, the way he spoke, but most importantly, his touch.

She brought her hand up from the water to examine it and try to reenact how she took his hand, how he held it, and how they shook each other’s hands. His palm was coarse, no doubt from his line of work, but if Jidné thinks about it—his grasp was so gentle. Water plopped when she jerked it back down, but she can’t stop rubbing her fingers in that hand.

“Definitely complicates things,” she groaned and submerged her face into the water, bubbles boiled as she exhaled her frustration underwater.

On the other hand, Jidné relished her time alone, bathing in the waterfall—it was a badly-needed cleanse. In the very center of the basin, she attempted to meditate—burying her toes into the silt floor of the stream to anchor herself, her body submerged from the chin down, and letting the coolness blanket her.

“Find it, Jidné,” she coaxes herself. “Latch onto it.”

She repeated this mantra until the sound of the waterfall have hollowed out in her hearing, until the only thing she could feel was her entire body subtly floating within the weak current of the water.

Nothing.

She growled, smacking and pounding the water with her fist, creating fountain-like splashes that rained down on her head. She brought her hands back out of the water again, gazing at her empty hands riddled with water droplets like transparent pearls.

“It’s always like this. I couldn’t be that damaged with the Force, could I?”

ID-3—who was hovering above the water, staying close to her as she swam—answered her question, even though it wasn’t exactly directed to him. He sounded affirming towards his owner, chirping high-pitched, raspy tones at Jidné.

“Thanks, ID, I appreciate that,” she hummed and continued to swim.

After her bath, she put on her clothes and collected her things before proceeding to hike through the jungle, avoiding the denser patches of greenery where Bashiji cats or other predators might jump on her again.

She decided to climb the waterfall’s wall, curious to see where it would lead her. Her little droid clamped itself on the harness’s strap on her back as she climbed. Using the skills she’s gained from her Padawan training back in the day, she scaled the rock wall with little to no equipment—just her iron grip.

“Just don’t look down, ID!”

“Booo-wooooo!!” the droid chirped in a nauseated tone.

The climb led the duo to the mesa, in the same level where she originally came from before landing into the surface of the jungle. From there, she stalked the ridge in search of the Mantis—relying on the homing beacon as she goes. The farther she went, the device’s beeping rhythm became faster until slow beating transitioned into a quick flickering with the noise barely keeping up with the pace.

She places herself on a vantage point, quite higher than her original spot where she first found the ship—atop a boulder’s throw. Zooming in through her binoculars, she scanned the treelines again, hoping to spot that same silver twinkle that she saw prior to this unprecedented predicament. The Mantis stuck out more from her current perspective, she patiently sat there, examining Cal’s companions.

Jidné eventually spotted that particular Lateron that Sorc was talking about. She watched the four-armed gray creature flail his arms while inaudibly conversing with a much older lady wearing beige clothes while a second lady in red and black garments—whom Jidné assumed to be Dathomirian—stood idly to survey the nature around them.

“Completely harmless, I wager,” Jidné commented to herself. “Kinda cranky for his size, though.”

She thumbed the knob on the underside of her binoculars to zoom in some more, she got a closer look of the Mantis and it was clear enough for her to see their faces.

“They’re obviously hiding it inside that ship,”

That fact led to Jidné remembering that her initial plan had been slightly ruined, hence the necessary alterations. With Cal thinking that she was friend not foe, the bounty hunter concocted her Plan B on the spot.

“I guess I have to keep up an act now, huh?”

“Beee. Trill, beep,”

“Figures…” she sighed. “One hell of a contract, eh, ID?”

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nyxinight · 5 years ago

Text

Force of Life part 2

“…hear me?”

What was that? What happened?

“…can you hear me?”

Someone was touching his shoulder. Where was he?

“General can you hear me?”

Wait…that sounds like…

“Cody?” Obi-Wan tried to say but it came out as a mumbled groan. It hurt to talk. Why did it hurt?

“Oh thank the all little gods General, we were starting to worry.” Cody sounded relived. “Can you open your eyes?”

“Is he awake?” Bones asked.

“He’s awake, yes, but I don’t know if he’s coherent.” Cody said hesitantly.

As Obi-Wan opened his eyes the first thing he sees is Bones crouched before him, analyzing and cataloging his injuries. As he tried to pull himself up in a better sitting position, he could feel something in his chest shift, something that shouldn’t move. And then came the pain, and once he felt that pain the rest of it obviously decided that it was time to be acknowledged.

“Wha’ hapn?” Obi-Wan asked and the pain in his throat made him flinch.

“We don’t really know General.” Cody began. “But from the looks of it, we crashed.”

“You don’t say.” Obi-Wan laughed but it ended with a groan, “Please don’t make me laugh.”

“Can you tell me where it hurts General?” Bones queried patently.

“Everywhere?” Obi-Wan huffed. “But the most worrying is the feeling of something shifting in my chest when I breath or move and from the feeling from my shoulder I can almost with certainty say that it’s dislocated.”

“Cody you’re going to help me get him up.” Bones directed. “And General, it’s going to hurt. I can’t give you a stim for the pain before I’ve found all the injuries.”

“I understand.” Obi-Wan braced himself for the pain as Cody and Bones grabbed him and pulled him up as swiftly as possible.

The pain almost makes Obi-Wan black out again and he tries to scream but nothing comes out. As he stands there trying to focus on what is happening around him instead of the pain, he realizes that Bones has opened his tunics and checking his ribs by pressing his hands gently along them. It’s not overly painful until he presses at a spot closer to Obi-Wans sternum and it’s almost like his whole ribcage shifts. The pain flares up again and Obi-Wan distantly realizes that he will need to apologize to Cody later for the bruises he is squeezing into his shoulder.

“The shifting feeling in your chest is a sternum fracture.” Bones said wearily.

“Is that bad?” Cody asked with a frown.

“Sternal fracture is commonly associated with injuries to the heart and lungs; if a person is injured with enough force to fracture the sternum, injuries such as myocardial and pulmonary contusions are likely. Other associated injuries that may occur include damage to blood vessels in the chest, myocardial rupture, head and abdominal injuries, flail chest, and vertebral fracture. Sternal fractures may also accompany rib fractures and are high-energy enough injuries to cause bronchial tears. They may hinder breathing. Due to the associated injuries, the mortality rate for people with sternal fracture is high, at an estimated 25–45%.” Bones explained cautiously .

“What does that mean?” Obi-Wan was almost afraid of the answer.

“It means that you could have several injuries or internal bleeding that we can’t see and that I can’t fix because I don’t have the tools and we have no way of the planet.” Bones sounded wary.

“Bleeding internally? But that means I’m fine, internally is where the blood is supposed to be.” Obi-Wan tried to joke and Cody snorts.

“Funny.” Bones deadpan. “Now, Cody give him your glove so he can bite down on it while I fix his dislocated shoulder.”

“I’ll count to three.” Bones grabs Obi-Wan.

“As I’ll ever be.” Obi-Wan places Cody glove between his teeth.

“One…” Bones pushes the shoulder back in its place.

“What happened to two and three?” Cody growls, surprised and a little bit angry.

“Yeah, what happened to two and three?” Obi-Wan gasps.

“Two, three.” Bones smirks.

“You absolute…” before Cody can finish that sentence, they hear Waxer screaming for Bones.

Bones rushes of to where to call came from leaving Obi-Wan and Cody in the dust.

“We should make our way over there.” Obi-Wan gave a tired smile.

They began to make their way over to where they could see the rest of the troopers. Obi-Wan looked around the crash site and noted for the first time that they where in outskirts of a forest. Absentmindedly he observed that the trees of the forest were probably the biggest trees he had ever seen. Before he could analyze anymore of their surroundings they had arrived by the rest of the troopers.

Bones was checking Oddball over frantically. AS he did Obi-Wan took the chance to check on the rest of the men. They all had bumps and bruises, maybe some small cuts. The worst of he could see was Waxers arm in a sling.

“Everyone okay?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“Yeah, everyone is a bit banged up and Waxer has a broken arm.” Longshot hesitated. “Well everyone except Oddball.”

“What’s wrong with Oddball?” Cody demanded to know.

“We don’t know. We got him out of the cockpit and managed to wake him up and everything seemed fine.” Waxer started to explain.

“But then his words started slurring together. It was then that Gearshift noticed that there were fluids leaking from his ear, one of his eyes and his nose and then he just collapsed, that’s when Waxer screamed after Bones.” Boil finished informing them.

“Well I have bad news, worse news and good news, which of them do you want first?” Bones asked, sitting back after finishing his examination of Oddball.

“Worst news first, then bad and last good.” Trapper decided for all of them.

“Okay, worse new is that Oddball has a crushing head injury, some of the symptoms are: Distorted head shape and intense swelling. The jaw, cheeks, or nose might also be involved. Bleeding from the nose, eyes, or ears. Fluid leaking from the nose, eyes, or ears. Bleeding from the head. Intense head pain. Loss of consciousness. Coma. Sudden loss of consciousness; some brain injury survivors appear fine, but then become intensely sleepy or faint. Changes in cognition, intelligence, or ability to understand speech. Difficulty with motor skills, especially walking.”

“The bad news?” Wooleys voice sounded strangled.

“The bad news is that I don’t have the equipment or enough medicine to be able to help him.” Bones sighed.

“You said you had good news!” Crys desperate cry echoed.

“The good news: He’s still alive and I plan to keep him that way.” Bones swore.

“Okay this is what we’ll do,” Obi-Wan, who had been quietly listening to Bones, spoke up. “Bone you stay with Oddball. Longshot, Crys Wooley and Boil you four will collect everything we can salvage and that could be of use. Waxer and Trapper go look around if you can find drinkable water close by. Gearshift and Threepwood, could you two build a stretcher of some kind for Oddball?”

“Yeah we can fix something.” Threepwood nodded. “We’re moving then?”

“I feel to exposed here and something is pulling me in that direction.” Obi-Wan pointed towards the forest on the left of them.

“Cody could you help me find anything we can use to repair the comm unit?” Obi-Wan started to walk towards the crashed LAAT/i with Cody following.

“Not so fast General.” Bones stopped them before they could get very far. “I know I can’t stop you from helping but I’ll be damned if I don’t bind your chest and ribs first.”

Obi-Wan just sighed and, with a little help from Cody, took off his tunics and raised his arms out of the way as Bones started to wrap his chest tightly with a roll of bandages from his medical bag. When he was done Obi-Wan put on his tunics again, tied the obi in its correct place and went with Cody to find the parts to be able to fix the comms.

#star wars #commander cody #codywan #waxer and boil #212th attack battalion #fanfiction #the clone wars #clone troopers #reading #writing #ForceofLife

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nyotasaimiri · 5 years ago

Text

Theory: Starbound Stimming

Okay! Stim time. Not to be confused with stim-packs. Some of these are based on my personal preferences for stims I admit, but I tried to think of how their bodies and cultures might influence matters. (Of course, this isn’t definitive or restrictive. Just some meandering.)

Humans have a huge variety of preferred stims, from person to person, but make the most accommodations for physical and small-fidget stimming. If someone finds a fidget toy in the Outpost market, odds are that it’s human make or at least human design (Letheia did pick up on the popularity and coined a few knockoffs). These days, human refugee camps often include little homemade toys from scrap material or made from whatever they can scavenge off their new homeworld. The survivors cherish this little bit of Earth culture, and it’s good for helping them cope with the trauma of escaping that mess.

Avian stimming is likely to be heavily texture-based. The few personal journals we find make specific note of the texture of things (sticky pine oil, gold dust, etc), and their skill in textile-weaving would mean they can control the feel of fabric very well. It would play in fairly well with the sensitivity of feathers, I bet, especially if avians are inclined to preen. They also seem to like carving their own furniture, based on inspecting tables and chairs in their houses. It’s definitely a communal affair, and fairly equivalent to humans doodling to stim.

Novakid might actually be most inclined toward auditory or vibrational? That smooth shell would transmit vibrations and sound waves very well (it’s how they hear), and probably is even more sensitive than a human eardrum when it comes to sounds. Novakid stim toys would include tuning forks then, or similar stuff. Maybe rattles, something that can carry a sound and vibration for a good while, especially if they can tune it to suit their preferences for that particular day. They would definitely change preferences regularly, I think. Novakid sure seem to enjoy novelty.

Hylotl stimming might lean toward motion-based. Their culture seems to value steady, smooth movements, and anything resembling water in form or function. A particularly fidgety Hylotl could probably easily get away with doing some basic exercises during a class or something, might even get praised for keeping their body as functional as their mind. It’s probably also common for them to find a good current to float in and just feel the ebb and tug.

Glitch might be inclined toward visual stims? Their optic sensors must be pretty sharp, but we aren’t given much indication that they have a keen sense for texture or smell. I think repetitive motion would also be really fun for them, just a casual loop of actions to keep the body busy and mind doing its own thing. Shiny things in particular are good in their books, anything that catches or produces light in interesting ways. Think those pouring-glitter visual stim videos.

Floran would absolutely focus on scents a lot. They have a great sense of smell in the first place and seem to place a whole lot of value on that sense. I do have that one headcanon that their language has a scent and/or pheromone component so some scents might be almost equivalent to our soft whisper ASMR stuff for them. I can really see Floran focusing on things for the scent above all else, and possibly even carrying around little scented pouches or something. Good for disguising Floran’s scent when hunting, good for making Floran happy when Floran is stressed out. Secondary is probably chewing; Nuru specifically complains that the Ceremonial Bone “isn’t even chewy,” and Floran inspection dialogue does often make reference to how bite-able things are.

Apex are probably heavily focused on auditory stim. Their hands are too big to make fine texture or small fidgets easy for them, but they’re already naturally inclined toward percussion in their music and hobbies. It’s not a big jump from there to drumming on everything or seeking out a good heavy beat, let the ears and bones feel the stim while the hands and brain keep busy doing other things. Touch would be a good secondary option for them, given their thick fur and social grooming habits. Apex just casually reaching over to scratch their neighbor’s fur while trying to ponder through a project.

#saimiri's theories #starbound #starbound theory #starbound headcanon #starbound novakid #starbound human #starbound apex #starbound floran #starbound avian #starbound hylotl #starbound glitch

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comfortmarvelimagines · 6 years ago

Note

4, 5, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 23, 29, 49, 43, 50, 51, 53, 57, 58, 72, 93. sorry i know it’s a lot but i’m super indecisive

holy shit thank you !!! i kinda want a distraction rn so this is perfect

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

going off what they said to my mum at parent-teacher interviews, i was disobedient (i’d finish my work quickly, go back to reading my book, and then refuse to do any additional work), too loud (i had no idea how to regulate my voice volume), and had no social skills (this actually happened. what was supposed to be a 10 minute conference turned into half an hour of the teacher telling my parents how behind i was, and my dad yelled at me for it when he got home bc ‘how i act reflects on him’. i was 10 years old).

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i don’t drink soda bc i don’t like the bubbles + sweetness, but when i drink water n occasionally juice i like glass cups. i reuse old candle jars as cups so they’re thick and i like when theyre cooler than plastic

9. favorite smell in the summer?

fruit !!!! i love mangoes and bananas and nectarines and passionfruit and when im cutting them up in the morning and i smell them OOFT i am a happey. my friend got me a fruit candle so i can smell it whenever i want now !

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

realistically, nothing. my routine this year is WHACK and its different on different days and apparently, according to my brain, if there’s no time for it on one day then there’s time for it on 0 days. throw in the fact that im still trying to recover from my ED and its a fun mess. that being said, this morning i made myself eat; i had banana, blueberries, strawberries, a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and some coffee (and maybe it was the only thing i ate today besides some veggies for dinner but it was before 10am hence breakfast)

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. my keys are on a smashCon lanyard from last year, with a bunch of pins bc my pins kept falling off my bag

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cross legged (except its more like a lotus pose, im way too hypermobile). idk if its a sensory/autism thing, but i absolutely cannot sit with my legs flat on the floor, and i dont really like chairs at all. i like my desk chair though bc its kind of like a bucket seat, and i chose it specifically bc its a perfect size for me to cross my legs comfortably and be able to work at my desk

18. ideal weather?

sunny, but not too sunny. slight warm breeze. not so bright that there’s glare. around 21-25 degrees celsius.

23. strange habits?

dude. i’m autistic w a bunch of other mental health and just a fucken weird personality. i got strange habits from the second i wake up to the second i go to bed

29. best way to bond with you?

accept me as i am. understand that there are some things i do differently, especially in regards to communicating. be patient and try to learn how i connect. i promise i’m trying to meet you on your level, but you gotta meet me on mine, or else you’re gonna get the facade i put up so people will tolerate me

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

HOODIE. i love having things on my head, so when im overwhelmed, hoodies are my substitute blanket. i’m also really picky when it comes to materials and i especially dont like anything too stiff, but i did recently buy a denim jacket that’s pretty soft so i’m trying to get used to that

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i don’t really have one?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

probably something dumb that my dog’s done. he does dumb shit all the time. for example: yesterday, he was licking things when he thought i wasn’t looking (he doesn’t understand the concept of peripheral vision its p funny). i told him not to lick my brother’s guitar, which is just hanging on the wall bc he doesn’t actually play it, and its covered in dust. leon licked the guitar, and then acted all indignant that he got a mouthful of dust and stood by his waterbowl until i turned on the tap, bc apparently bowl water isn’t good enough for my princess of a dog. this is super off track but basically, my dog is really silly and he makes me laugh and i love him a LOt

51. current stresses?

uni, the fact that i’m currently exhausted and burnout from my jobs and volunteering and study, the fact that im super isolated socially, i feel like im not good enough for my course and i dont deserve a place in it, and the fact that my mum wants me to go to the dentist but dentists are absolute hell for me and i just. cant deal w that right now

53. what is the current state of your hands?

really short nails, and callouses on my four left fingers from strings (the short nails are also bc i scratch myself). the fingers on my left hand are stronger than my right, and i have three crooked fingers from when i broke them in separate incidents in HS. i have indents from bite marks on my left hand. my hands are super cold, not just bc its winter but they always seem to run colder than everyone else. they’re also really dry, a combination of winter and the fact that the packaging that my work uses in stock boxes makes them dry ? its really weird + also bad stim

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hhhhhhhi wouldn’t say i’ve fully ‘overcome’ all of these but 1. making it through high school and living to be an adult- i’d always assumed i’d be dead by 16. i spent most of high school suicidal and without appropriate help. 2. performance anxiety. this sounds dumb, but mastering this has allowed me to pursue the degree i always thought was a pipe dream, an impossibility. i’m in a place now where i’m doing what i want, something i care about, and i actually don’t regret waking up every morning because of it. 3. managing to navigate things like the crowded city, buses, work and classrooms every day. i’m a massively sensory avoidant person. post high school, i literally didn’t physically leave the house from a combination of depression but also not wanting to deal with overstim when it wasn’t strictly necessary. on one hand, i know im pushing myself a bit, esp when i get physically sick from being constantly overstim with no breaks during the week, but i’m also proud of myself for trying to manage these things now instead of doing everything in my power to avoid them

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i’m good at looking after my dog, and loving my dog (and he loves me back so a talent worth having. i think im good with most dogs but ESPECIALLY my dog). i’m creative; i’m a musician, i’m a visual artist, i write, i’m constantly coming up with things. my brain is good at finding connections and memorising content just by understanding. i dont really think i have anything else

72. worst subject?

MATHS. my hs made me take it all the way to year 12 and i absolutely fucken failed it (im not kidding in year 10 my highest mark on a test was 38% and it really didn’t improve from there)

93. nicknames?

charles, and basically any way you can wrongly pronounce my name (e.g, chorlie)

#charlie answers #Anonymous

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