#*Obviously* problematic shit is going to take place like????

[reysdriver]

Hey, I was thinking about something with best friend!Eddie and fem!best friend!reader, but they secretly like each other.

Gareth invites the Hellfire club to spend a weekend at his beach house but Eddie and Reader decide to share the same room/bed.

(I would like things like them going to the beach or helping each other put on sunscreen... 🫣🫣)

Sorry if it's a very large or very specific request, you don't have to fulfill the request in parentheses if you don't want to

thank you!❤️

you and eddie share a bed on the first night of your beach house stay — bestfriend!eddie x fem!reader fluff

warnings: language, that's it i think

words: 1.6k

a/n: I might make this a 2-parter (or more low-key) cause I want to space it out and have the absolute max amount of pining and friends-to-lovers tension hehe

Gareth stared down at you, disapproving of you calling him ‘rich boy’, while unloading your bags from the back of Eddie’s van. 

“I’m not rich, my parents just own a beach house.” He defended. 

You raised an eyebrow. “You know that’s the richest fucking thing you’ve ever said, right?”

“They bought it back in the day when shit was just cheaper. You can go if you don’t want to be here, by the way.” Gareth said it with the sass of a true non-rich boy, and you decided to lay off the teasing. 

You put your hands in the air in mock surrender. It’s been a long drive from Hawkins close to Cleveland, you weren’t turning back now. “Alright, fine, I’m done.”

You and the guys returned to grabbing your duffel bags and backpacks, then you closed the van’s back doors and went towards the front door of the brightly-painted building. Gareth put the lock into the key but faced you all before turning it. 

“So, here it is, my family’s beach house. Ready for the tour and the house rules?” Gareth asked the three of you. 

Everyone was ready for the tour, but you all seemed disappointed that there were rules you had to follow on your mini-vacation. Nevertheless, you all nodded—not necessarily agreeing to anything, just wanting to get inside and put your stuff down. 

Gareth opened the door to reveal the inside of his modest beach house. Okay, maybe he wasn’t rich rich but you still thought about teasing him a few more times throughout your stay. The inside walls of the building were mostly made from light wood, with painted accents peeling in certain places. There were seashells and sand-filled bottles as decorations in the main hall—same as most beach houses, even though the whole point of them was that they were close to the beach all the time. 

“First stop is the kitchen.” Gareth said, leading you all and stopping in front of the table. “If you want to use it, you have to promise not to burn the house down.”

Eddie shook his head. “Now, Garebear, you know I can’t make any promises like that.”

You and Jeff laughed at Eddie’s joke, but Gareth didn’t seem amused. 

“I’m watching you, Ed. I’m serious, my parents will be pissed if anything happens to this place.” He looked back to you and Jeff as he continued. “Next, we have the living room. The tv works, plus we have some movies on those shelves, so we could maybe have a movie night or something tonight.”

Jeff went to look at the shelves that his friend just pointed at. “Yo, these movies are trash!” He laughed. “I’m not watching any of these.” 

“Thank you so much for that valuable addition to the tour, Jeff. And they’re for my parents, obviously.”

“What about where we’re sleeping?” Eddie asked. 

Gareth had told you all that the sleeping situation might be a bit problematic, and that he’d try to think of a best solution, but he hadn’t even told any of you what the issue was. 

“So, we have the couch, it actually even pulls out…” Gareth paused, then started walking down a bright hallway to a pair of doors next to each other. He opened one of them. “Here’s my room; I’m sleeping here, of course.” Before you could even take a good look inside, he shut that door and opened the other. “And here’s the main bedroom. Two of you will have to share the big bed.”

All three of you looked at him with wide eyes at the idea. At the exact same time, you and Jeff tried calling dibs on the couch, then cringed at the fact that you both wanted it. 

“Eddie, you don’t want the couch?” Gareth asked, noticing he seemed pretty calm about it all.

He shrugged. “Have you seen my room? I couldn’t give a shit about where I sleep.”

Even though you’ve seen his room and understood where he was coming from, Eddie seemed like he wasn’t being completely truthful. Unfortunately, you were too focused on having your own sleeping place to ask him what was wrong. 

“Since you said it together, I may have to flip a coin.” Gareth said, already digging in his pockets to find one. 

“No way, I don’t want to sleep next to Eddie.” Jeff protested. “No offence.”

“Offence taken, actually. I’ll have you know I am a lovely spooner, both big and little.”

Gareth laughed. “Yeah, like you’ve ever gotten to spoon with someone.” Before Eddie could even respond, he held out a quarter and stood between you and Jeff. “Alright, tails means Jeff gets the couch, heads means he gets to be Eddie’s first spooning partner.” 

You nodded, watching the coin intensely as Gareth tossed it in the air. It was spinning too quickly for you to really see the sides, so you just crossed your fingers and looked at his face as he read it. 

“Tails.” He looked at you. “Looks like you and Eddie can find a way to share the big room.”

You tried keeping your sigh quiet and hiding your upset, but you had to admit you were a bit disappointed about not having your own bed. You thought about it all throughout dinner and your movie night, and it stared you in the face when it was time to go to sleep.

Eddie dug through his duffel bag to find a pair of pyjama pants and a band t-shirt—of course. “If you want me to leave the room while you change, I can. I feel like that’s what girls want, right?”

You shook your head, fiddling with the fabric from your own set. “No, no, don’t worry about that. Just turn around for a second, maybe?”

He did just as you asked, turning around to face the corner of the room and getting changed himself while he waited for you to do the same. You quickly stripped yourself of the clothes you had spent all day in, and changed into the short black set you had packed with you. 

“Okay, you can turn around now.” You told him after you were done. 

He turned as you had said, but you both hesitated to get in bed, even though there was nothing left to do. 

“You know, I can sleep on the floor or something if you don’t want to share the bed.” He offered unnecessarily. 

“No way, I know you said you don’t care where you sleep, but that’s ridiculous, Eddie. I would never ask you to do that.” You slid underneath the bed sheets on your side. They were actually nice sheets; you would be sad to see Eddie sleep on the floor and miss that sweet thread count. “We’re basically grown-ups; we can share a bed without it being a big deal.”

He seemed less reluctant than before as he laid down next to you. “Well, I just wanted to err on the side of caution.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “You never want to be cautious, Eddie. That’s like, your whole thing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s different with you.”

You weren’t quite sure what he meant by that, but you chose to ignore it in case it was something negative. There was no way you’d want to share a bed with a friend after finding out he secretly hates you or something like that. 

The two of you were lying down on opposite sides of the bed on your backs, but you leaned over to whisper to Eddie. “Goodnight, Eds.”

He wished you a good night in return, but it didn’t do much in the way of easing your nerves. For that, you just shut your eyes, clutched the blanket, and tried your hardest to fall asleep. 

You weren’t sure about how long it took, but you did eventually sleep; and you woke up practically cuddling with your best friend. You were hugging him, your head was on his chest, and his arms were wrapped around your torso in return. You also weren’t sure how you got into that position, but you knew you had to get out of it. In an attempt to be soft and silent, you unwrapped your arms from Eddie and snuck out of his grasp. 

You stood up and walked over to the nice kitchen to make yourself some morning tea—and get away from the friend you were just accidentally snuggling. 

You didn’t even let the water in the pot fully boil since you didn’t want to wake anyone up, but it seemed your attempts to be quiet were unsuccessful, since you heard footsteps coming down the hall from the bedrooms. 

Of course it was Eddie and this was the one time he woke up before the clock hit a double-digit hour. “Morning.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

“Good morning.” You held out a mug for him. “Do you want some tea?” 

“Absolutely not. But I’ll make myself a coffee if there’s any here.” 

Eddie started rooting through the lightwood cupboards to find what he wanted, but you knew where it was, so you just handed it to him. 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem.” You told him. “So, um, how’d you sleep last night?”

“Really well, sweetheart. What about you?”

You nodded and held back a smile. “Same. I slept great.”x

[amostnobleyandere]

Yandere! Incel! Scaramouche x NB! Reader

This is an 18+ blog!!!! If you don’t like yandere content or are a minor, do not interact. thank you!

CW: Yandere content, stalking, creepy scaramouche, incel behavior, creepy behavior, toxic relationships, kidnapping, his friends encourage and enable his problematic behavior, brief fantasizing about a domestic husband/spouse dynamic, forced romantic relationship, non-consensual touching

*also just to be clear, this is loosely based off the term “incel,” his behavior is more like a creepy recluse if anything?? I just couldn’t think of a better word to use and I thought it fit okay. there’s no misogyny or extremely gross behavior involved, but he is creepy so just. keep that in mind. anyways, enjoy!

—————————

Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t get out much not because he has bad social skills (he does but that’s not the point), but because he loathes the idea of big crowds and being around lots of people. Socializing with people is already irritating enough, since he’s the only one on this earth who seems to have braincells. Why go out when he’s got everything he needs at home?

Incel! Scaramouche who has more money than he knows what to do with from his (insanely) loaded and emotionally distant mother (who gives it to him because she doesn’t know how to show affection any other way). he spends it all on expensive gaming set ups, take-out, and new technology all while being up in his top floor penthouse with a horizon line view.

Incel! Scaramouche who has friends, they’re just all online (and just as fucked up as he is) who he talks to (yells at) through the microphone while gaming.

Incel! Scaramouche who meets you while doing something mudane. He sees you at a grocery store picking over vegetables one day. Ignores you. 30 minutes later, he proceeds to bump into you and then acts like an asshole about you touching him, something that was clearly his fault. The two of you get into it, and eventually you’re the one to turn and walk away, already in a bad mood from the interaction. He’s interested now.

Incel! Scaramouche who isn’t delusional enough to convince himself that it’s fate, but who is curious enough to stalk follow you around for a while. He’s not hurting you or talking to you, what’s the harm done?

Incel! Scaramouche who while stalking monitoring you begins to note things about you. Unconsciously, of course. It’s not like his life revolves around you or anything. He just…starts to notice things. How you spend your days, what you like, what you don’t like, who you interact with and the places that you spend your time at the most. Soon enough he knows just as much about you habits and daily life as your friends do, if not more.

Incel! Scaramouche whos friends encourage his problematic behavior. They’re just as chronically online as he is, and have no conception of the morals and boundaries that come with having a healthy relationship. (Some of them, like Venti and Kazuha, even have a more romantic view of his infatuation interest, repeating that it’s okay to cross some lines, as long as it’s for love)

Incel! Scaramouche who has a weird view of relationships because his only knowledge on them comes from anime, the internet, and all the other types of weird media he consumes. (Should the kidnapping happen before or after your first date?) He’s not doing any of the cheesy shit the internet says. He’s not going to bring flowers, that would be stupid. (He’ll end up buying an overly large bouquet which he sends to your doorstep. there’s no note and you find it extremely creepy. You refuse to leave your home without pepper spray now)

Incel! Scaramouche who eventually just plucks you from the streets, right outside of your home/apartment building. No struggle to go along with it. Obviously you do fight back, but the men he hired to pick you up are far too experienced for you to even have a chance of running away.

Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t really care about your feelings surrounding the whole situation. and well. he was getting a little lonely. most of his friends live too far away for them to meet up frequently, and it’s not like he’d want to see those crazy bastards everyday anyways. You’re much better company compared to those psychos, as much as he loathes to admit it. and you’re just so…pretty, and he can feel and touch you as much as he wants. it’s pleasant, and his apartment has never felt so full before, not at all empty like it did before he brought you here. you should be grateful you’re here too; he gives you everything you could ever want (within reason). really, you should feel grateful that you’ve been chosen by someone who’s so financially stable, who can provide for you.

you can have a good life with him, better than you could’ve had without him.

Incel! Scaramouche who kind of begins to see you as his little house spouse. nevermind that you’re here against your will; you’ve taken up doing chores around the house if only to fill the time, and it’s really only confirming his belief that kidnapping you was the best thing he could’ve done. when he comes through the door after a rare visit to the outside world and he sees you sitting there, idle, practically waiting for him? he feels like the typical breadwinner coming home to a loving domestic life. he’s not so delusional to think that you’re happy to be his little house spouse and captive, but it’s not like you can do anything about it, so he might as well enjoy the thought while he can.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

OKAY here is the completely nonserious percy jackson npmd au thats been taking up space in my brain for weeks now because it simply needs somewhere to go:

New campers-

Stephanie Lauter:

I'm not overcomplicating this one: Steph is a daughter of Aphrodite

Solomon Lauter saw the hottest woman at some party where he was campaigning, and he’s is nothing if not ‘passionate’ and successful (by design) so it worked out

As far as Steph knows until her teens her mom ran off on her dad when she was a baby, and that’s fine, she doesn't give a shit, she’s never looked into it

Until, when she’s sixteen (because somehow she’s made it this long) Grace Chasity starts a rumor, her dad sends her to Abstinence Camp and the monster in the woods chases her right into camp halfblood

She gets claimed pretty promptly and Is Not A Fan

She’s thinks it’s pretty sexist and conceited and stupid and problematic for a whileeeee and refuses to look into it any more than ‘pink and pretty and misogynistic’ which like, doesn’t go well for her but she’s nothing if not stubborn

She’s fluent in French because of her mom but she doesn’t know that until she gets to camp and is genuinely so pissed off that the one school subject she thought she was good at isn’t even on her own merit

She’s got some vague appearance manipulation stuff, and once she realizes she does she exclusively uses it to change her hair color and make her eyeliner look good

She’s probably like camp way more if she knew about it earlier but the combo of her had having kept it from her and who her mom is and all the stupid games/worship expectations piss her off and she bails on most of the events/training/campfires out of spite

She definitely uses some close up weapon like a dagger or short sword

Grace Chastity:

Grace is a daughter of Ares 

(Her finding this out goes very poorly)

Im ngl i feel like somehow Ares ended up with Mark Chastity, I refuse to examine this thought but i think Mark Chastity had his first gay experience and woke up the next morning with a baby there somehow because Ares thought it would be hilarious and wanted to see what would happen

She gets chased to camp with Steph from Abstinence Camp and is fucking livid, the whole thing is insanely scareligious and ridiculous and everyone there is going to hell and she is so heated that Ares, once again thinking it’s really funny and slightly proud, claims her on the spot

Grace Chastity is out here with her sacreligious two gay dads

She really resents specifically who her dad is because in her head she is made for peace and love and spreading the word of god, she hates the idea of war or violence on principal, so she spends a lot of time at the strawberry fields or Pegusus stables because she does really like the flying horses :)

She refuses to take place in any camp activities or training and all her siblings hate her

At a certain point she’s able to harness a level of odikinesis (enhancing feelings of hatred and war) and it doesn’t go well

Chiron honestly is forcing her to stick around because he’s REALLY so very nervous about how the fuck it would go to have Grace loose on the mortal world right after she finds everything else

Her weapon is an axe

Obviously

AND THEN we’ve got the established campers-

Peter Spankoffski:

Okay so forgive me for my special little blorbo-fication of my guy but:

Pete’s a son of Nyx

He super fucking shouldn’t be, there aren’t demi-god children of Nyx, just monsters and minor gods, but him and Ted were kind of just… thought experiments? Like she was bored and very curious so she took a really shitty human and had a child with him (Ted) and then, in what Nyx’s head was barely any time at all but in human years was straight up 18 years, has another one (Pete)

Ted raises Pete for a couple years, but children of Nyx in general are just bad omens, and human children of Nyx who probably shouldn’t exist are no exception, so they get hunted down by monsters hard

Ted dies or disappears by the time Pete’s ten or eleven and he ends up at a camp

He’s a year round camper and lives in the hermes cabin because obviously Nyx doesn’t have a cabin (look okay i know that percy fixed that, but that bit of lore where any unclaimed or minor god children live at the hermes cabin is so fucked up and rife with angst and hurt/comfort potential is too much for me to resist so this is a universe where percy jackson does not exist)

His luck is horrible, like it’s a magical demigod ability how horrible his luck is and he’s well on his way to systematically having broken every single one of his bones one by one, they know him so well in the apollo cabin

NO ONE (and I mean NO ONE) likes him and he’s considered a camp wide jinx so he takes one for the team and personally exempts himself from any team events like capture the flag because no one is willing to have him on their side

A lot of newer campers generally assume he’s an Athena kid because he really enjoys learning/strategy/by-the-book stuff because it’s a lot easier than trying to get involved with the more dangerous athletic shit 

Because his mom is the goddess of night he’s very into outer space

His weapon is a bow and arrow, but he’s pretty good with most range weapons/anything that he can calculate aim for 

Ruth Fleming:

Ruth is a daughter of Demeter and she’s pissed about it

Her dad told her about being a demigod a couple years before she went to camp but he didn’t know who her mom was so she got very very into greek mythos and shit and was convinced she was a daughter of Athena or Aphrodite or someone else nine-year-old-girl-cool and was fucking devestated when it was the goddess of farming

Like, she’ll do all the things she’s expected to (helping in the strawberry fields, weeding, etc..) but she’s going to complain about it

She doesn’t even have any cool powers to go with it!!! it’s so unfair >:( 

She’s also involved with the camp’s theater department and is convinced it’s rigged against her because of who her mom is in favor of Apollo and Dionysus kids (in fairness…. it probably is) which is why she’s always stuck on tech 

She’s definitely got a crush of Richie’s dad

She’s a summer only camper for sure, monsters don’t hunt her down for any reason in particular or en mass so she can get away with it and fight off the ones that do, but she does kind of take offense to the fact that even monsters don't want her (even if they’d just kill her) 

Her childhood greek mythology obsession carries over so she knows every dumb little detail about every myth and will bring it up unprompted

Her main weapon is just a celestial bronze sword but i feel like when she first got to camp at 12 she bribed a child of Iris to change the color of it so it looks like… rose gold lmao

Richie Lipschitz:

Richie is a son of Dionysus

And sure, okay, I know what you're thinking: that doesn’t really fit…?

But to that I say oh boy it does, just not for Richie

For his twin brother Trevor however– 

Richie is kind of like the black sheep of his cabin, not that there is many of them, because his brother is perfectly cookie cutter what a Dionysis kid should be (he’s a theater kid, he throws good parties, he’s generally popular) and Richie is not

They both started camp at probably 10-ish, a little earlier than traditional because there were two of them which drew more monsters

His eyes are violet though which he thinks is very cool so he dyes his hair purple to match them

He sorta-kinda has chlorokinesis, specifically for grape and strawberry vines, which a. he also thinks is very cool, and b. he uses as an excuse to get out of training so he can hang out with Ruth

He's also really good at swimming and trying to work up the courage to ask his dad if he'd possibly be able to grant him the ability to turn into a dolphin but just like... only when he wanted tot and he could turn back

He really wishes his was an Apollo kid (though, obviously he’d never say that out loud) because of the artistic stuff, so he sort of just tries to gaslight everyone that because his dad is the god of the Arts that includes physical art like drawing so obviously that’s why he’s good at it

He’s a summer-only camper too but for the dumbest reason; their parents gave the twins a choice, but Trevor wanted to be able to go back to school to do school plays and Richie can’t watch anime at camp so they chose summer only

His weapon is just a normal sword but he’s campaigning to get a child of Hephaestus to make him a Katana

(They’re all three kind of outcasts in terms of their own godly parents, because Ruth and Richie don’t really fit the mold of ‘normal child of [blank]’ and Pete’s kind of just generally disliked because of his parentage, so they all sort of came together as friends out of necessity but now they’re just actually buddies and they hang out)

anyway who knows if ill do anything with this but its FUN and id love to talk about it forever they're just little demigod losers I love them

[cookingwithroxy]

You know, this is something funny and as manbun decided to hide the reblogs I have to do this here because, for fuck's sake buddy

@aesthetically0b5essed

'@cookingwithroxy incel is actually not a fancy way of saying that. Being an inso has nothing to do with your morals because it's not your choice. You're not choosing not to have sex. It's involuntary celibacy. You want to have sex. It's a way of saying that you want to have sex with other people but nobody would ever touch you, hence the involuntary part. I know incels have a lot of pent up rage but you gotta find a better outlet than trolling for attention. My post was a self-deprecating joke. Anybody who follows me and knows me would have known that. Alas now I get to be entertained all weekend by silly little minds like this. Every single one of these People's tumblr pages are just as I expected. Ignorance is bliss. Just pay for sex. Everybody was using that deck so everybody is in the same boat. Get over yourself. Everyone else obviously has.'

Chuckles. Incel, as an insult, IS calling someone a loser virgin.

you are not scoring points here. For one thing, if your post is self-deprecating, you wouldn't be throwing this much effort into hiding from people that you're being this much of a toddler.

And you can't really deny that this is you using it as an insult, because, and this is the funny part here.

First, you take someone explaining the problematic elements of using a term like this so casually... and claim that means the person saying those things. Is the very thing you're throwing around casually.

And second, your... 'description' of what an incel is? Is nothing more than you describing the traits you place on anyone you're throwing it at. 'nobody would ever touch you, you're full of pent up rage!'

And as really tempting and seriously easy as it would be to throw a lot of stuff back at you, I can just post the shit you hid in the notes rather than let anyone see how secretly mad you are like this, and know you're seething over the fact that it's public.

And then, to be really honest? I'm going to block you because I have seriously better things to do today. Plans with my gf for one thing! Go away, little man.

[eddiemunsonw]

I'm a winner

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

Summary: Good question. Basically a little drabble about Gator being a little shit and kind of being put in his place by reader? Oh and smut!

CW/Disclaimer: virgin!Gator, smut, they're a bit rough

Author's note: I saw the little Gator clip and this popped up in my head, I don't know either, thought I'd share 'cause why not? We obviously know very little about the character so whether it's IC, OOC, who knows

Words: 2189

“… and then he said I should get my fucking shit together?! Me? I’ve been working my god damn ass off for that man and he comes in with that? It’s so…”

Gator continued to rant about his dad and had been for the past half hour. It was boring. He did it all the time. While you did get it, because parents could be annoying, you wished he would focus more on hanging out instead. You didn’t like only being there functioning as a wall to rant to— you never got a word in.

“Gate, listen,” you started softly, “I know it sucks but maybe just take the loss for today and hope for a better tomorrow?”

His gaze snapped towards you, eyes furious as he lifted his hands to accompany the raise of his voice.

“I’m a WINNER!”

Jesus Christ. Okay. He was breathing hard and honestly, it could have been sexy if he wasn’t such a hothead all the time. You rolled your eyes.

“Today, you’re a loser. Suck it up, Tillman.”

You turned around to leave, having had enough of his whining, but with a few quick steps he caught up to you and slammed the door shut right in front of your face.

“What the hell Ga—”

“Shut up!”

His front pushes against your back, squeezing all air from between you two as his hand wrapped around your throat.

“I will kick you in the fucking balls if you don’t let me go right now, shithead,” you threatened, shocked yet unfazed by his sudden behavior. He put pressure on your throat with his hand just lightly, not enough to be menacing. A soft caress followed, making you wonder if he had changed his mind. His hand slipped off but on that same second he roughly turned you around and pushed you against his bedroom door.

With a sharp inhale his lips captured yours in a bruising kiss, one hand easily pinning both of yours above your head. You hummed in protest and threw your arms forward with such power that it left a harsh bang when he pushed them back against the door.

As promised, you kicked him in the balls with your knee. His release was immediate and he groaned in pain as he staggered backwards. Your kicks were the mean kind. With ease you cornered him until the back of his knees hit the bed. He was unstable enough for you to push him down gently with your hand on his chest, immediately straddling his hips.

His hands wasted no time coming up to your hips but you slapped them away immediately.

“My way or no way,” you told him sternly.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Gator grumbled, but you had already felt his cock twitch against your core even through his thick cargo pants.

“You sure? I think you like being a little obedient,” you quipped. He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Always knew you wanted me. Didn’t think you were this easy though.”

“At least I’m not leaking just because I got told off by a girl,” you mumbled before reaching down between your legs to squeeze him through his pants. He whined pathetically and it got you thinking. All things considered with his family…

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

The expression of being caught surfaced for a minute before a scowl replaced it.

“Fuck no, why’d you say that? I have loads of experience. Girls like me, you know.”

You nodded. It was true, girls did like him, at least until they witnessed a fight between him and his dad or when he lost his temper. Girls only wanted problematic boys in a hot way, not in a “it will actually mess with your reputation” way.

“You never got that far though,” you shrugged off his words easily. He all but huffed.

“What makes you so sure?”

“For starters, you react like a virgin.”

Anger flashed his eyes and once again he overpowered you. Little did he know that you weren’t going to give him any restraint. He pinned you down on the bed, pushing your legs apart so he could lay between them.

“Promise you after I fuck you, you won’t think I’m a virgin anymore.” He lifted your shirt and started to press kisses onto your belly, it was honestly endearing to see how clumsy he was. A giggle escaped your lips. 

“What?”

“You won’t be a virgin anymore after this so no, I wouldn’t think you were.”

Gator rolled his eyes and started unbuttoning your top and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought the top belonged to a doll with the way his fingers were so much larger than the buttons. His hands were so goddamn big.

“So we’re gonna fuck?” He asked matter-of-factly.

“I thought you were all: big boss gonna take what I want,” you said with a smirk.

“I am! I’m just— confirming. That you also want it, I guess.” His frown made him look a little confused.

“You wouldn’t have gotten this far if I didn’t,” you smiled, knowing it would rile him up. Irritated, he shoved your top aside and pushed it down your shoulders until he could throw it elsewhere in the room.

“I would have,” he muttered against your skin, biting it a little too harsh to be nice. For normal people at least. For you, it gathered a wetness in between your legs, even more so when he remembered to soothe it with his tongue. Gator took his sweet time exploring your body, undressing you as he went. He left a trail of bruising hickeys as he rutted against the bed. His moans didn’t go unnoticed and when you heard the bed creak rhythmically you brushed your hand over his head.

“You’re gonna come in your pants if you keep that up,” you told him gently. Embarrassed, he stilled his hips. You almost felt a little bad with how clueless he looked. It only lasted a moment until his hands fumbled with your pants and took them off. All of it coming down with it. His hungry eyes stared at your core as he lay back down between your legs. With his thumbs, he spread your lips to watch your slick drop down on the sheets and he groaned before he started hungrily lapping at your pussy as if it was his last meal. Your hips bucked up, hand flying to his hair but he slapped it away in favor of holding them still next to you.

“Above your head. Don’t wanna see them move.” He ordered and you complied when he let go and spread your lips once more. His mouth was criminal. The speed with which he devoured you had you moaning louder than anyone had ever managed you to. He kept spreading your lips with his thumbs, playing with the edges as he made you a complete mess.

“Not so talkative now, are you?” Gator grinned when he pulled away, causing you to whine. He grabbed roughly at your cunt, rubbing his palm over you as he moved back up. Somewhere in between he had taken off his pants too and somehow you hadn’t even noticed. He took off his shirt as well, tossing it somewhere in the room before hovering over you.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” he murmured against your lips. “And you’re gonna take it. I’m gonna take what I need and you’re going to give it to me.”

“So that’s like, one minute tops?” You asked innocently, though you couldn’t hide your grin. Without warning, he thrusted into you and his face really did betray that this was his first time.

“Oh god oh god oh god.” 

You took it all, his animalistic thrusts that lifted your hips from the bed. You clawed at his back and he seemed to have forgotten that you weren’t allowed to do that in favor of your touch.

“You doing okay, big boy?” you teased even though the nickname was quite fitting considering the size of his cock. 

Roughly, he grabbed your chin, pushing the skin around your cheeks squished between his fingers so your mouth was pressed together. He glared at you but couldn’t find the right words to say. Eyes flickering back and forth between yours, searching for something. He closed the gap with a quick kiss that soon turned passionate now that you were no longer holding back. In just a few thrusts he came inside you, hips stilling immediately. You groaned as you felt your own orgasm dwindle back right before the finish.

“Don’t fucking stop,” you groaned as you pushed your hips up. You felt his warm chuckle against your neck and his tongue tracing your ear.

“Told you I’d take what I needed.”

With a swift move you removed your hands from above your head and yanked his head up by his hair, causing him to groan out in pain.

“I gave it to you. Now give me what I need.”

“I'm gonna hurt you,” Gator hissed as he slid off of you and manhandled you on your side. His cock slid between your asscheeks and he almost whimpered at his own sensitivity.

“Yeah? You can try,” you mumbled indifferently, arm reaching back to grab a hold of his hair again. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

His cock twitched against you.

“You’re a desperate one, aren’t you?” he murmured against your shoulder, kissing it a little too gently to make his words sound condescending.

“I just wanna be actually fucked and not have someone’s cock dip in for thirty seconds only,” you shrugged, a knowing smile on your lips. Annoyed, he lifted your leg up and positioned himself to thrust inside you. If you pretended you didn’t hear him whimper, nor felt the gentle ease with which he entered you, he could almost seem as mean as he pretended to be. His thrusts on the other hand were relentless, determined to make you feel him in every way possible. 

Surprisingly, he moved his hand between your legs to play with your clit, again not as selfish as you’d have expected of him, even though he was missing his mark completely. You corrected his hand with a simple nudge and he adjusted instantly, making you see stars when he sped up his fingers and thrusted deeper inside you. 

“Come for me, Y/N. Show me you need my cock.”

A retort died on your lips when his teeth grazed your neck and his arm wiggled itself around your shoulders so he could grab your boob not too gently. He kept whispering obscenities into your ear, one filthier than the other and definitely fueled by fantasy rather than experience. As your moans grew louder his hips snapped harder and his lips captured yours to feel the vibration against his own. An orgasm stronger than every comeback you had given him rushed through your body, shaking out of your pores as you grew limp against him as he slowed down his pace.

You felt his lips kissing your back in a trail from your shoulder to your neck, his arms holding you tightly. When you didn’t move for a while, he shifted and lifted his head to try to get a look at your face.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice sounded concerned, really concerned. Like his words earlier hadn’t been all that serious. You stayed quiet for a little longer to find out exactly what the truth behind those words was.

“Y/N?” A hesitant kiss on your cheek, the hand on your waist caressing you softly.

“What’s the answer you want me to give?”

“That I didn’t,” he mumbled.

You smiled softly and turned your head to look at him.

“You didn’t.”

Gator let go of a relieved sigh but rolled his eyes at the same time.

“Don’t scare me like that. I… say things, sometimes. Don’t mean them.”

“I know.”

“You’re my best friend.”

“I know.”

“And you were right.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t even tell you why you were right,” Gator mumbled.

“That you were a virgin,” you said with a smile, cupping his cheek. He turned his head and you spotted the faintest blush.

“Shut up. You weren’t?” You shook your head and turned around in his arms so you didn’t have to keep craning your neck.

“No, remember Dave?”

“Him?!” Gator made a face of disgust and you giggled as you put your hand on his chest.

“It wasn’t fun. Or good. This,” you gestured between you and him, “This was… interesting at least.”

“Not good?” Gator asked. You shrugged, a small smile on your lips.

“You could work on being a little nicer.”

Gator huffed and looked away almost guiltily.

“Sorry. I was angry.”

“You can make it up to me next time.”

His eyes widened, hand flexing around your waist.

“There’s a next time?” He sounded hopeful. You softly captured his lips and kissed him.

“If you’re nice.”

“I can try,” he mumbled, but his eyes and soft smile told you that he would be. For you, he would.

[sadgirlbaby]

FAMILY TRIP - tate langdon x fem!reader (part 1) [smut]

CW: cussing, fingering, cumming, dirty talk (?)

SUMMARY: you and tate have been dating for 2 months and he just joined you to go to greece with your family. the only problem was that tate couldn’t resist your beauty in front of your parents.

part 2 here

you hated family trips, you hated them so much. but this time was quite different - you had invited your boyfriend. tate obviously accepted to join you since he couldn’t live without you for a couple of weeks.

your parents didn’t like tate at all, they used to say the he was a problematic boy with lots of disorders. according to them, tate needed professional help and definitely not from a dude like ben harmon.

after an entire day you had finally convinced your parents to accept tate for your vacation in greece.

“how long is it still going to take us to arrive?” you asked annoyed and bored.

“I don’t know, honey” your mom replied. you rolled your eyes in boredom.

you looked out of the window and watched the road - there wasn’t many cars, nor much buildings, the sight of the countryside was pretty cool - you always liked nature.

“tate, you okay?” you turned your head to check on your boyfriend and noticed he was cutely sleeping on you. you smiled as you saw his face wrinkled on your thigh.

“is he sleeping?” your dad asked and he looked through the rearview. you nodded your head.

suddenly you heard some trash music playing at the highest volume and you immediately screamed - “what the fuck! turn that shit off!”.

“hey! language!” your mom yelled. your father was literally laughing out loud and tate woke up. he was half-asleep and half-awake, he stood up off your thigh and rubbed his sleepy eyes.

“dad! you woke him up!”

“it was my point” he laughed but you didn’t.

“it’s fine, baby” tate looked at you and smiled, then you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“you’re so beautiful when you’re sleepy” you said and tate smirked (pretty embarrassed). “you are more” he said back and kissed your lips.

it was been an hour an a half since you didn’t kiss tate’s lips so you made that kiss more intese. his lips were like a drug for you but tate misunderstood - soon he placed his hands under your t-shirt and you couldn’t hold a soft moan. it was a hungry kiss, full of lust and need. you both loved each other so much.

“tate, not here” you said.

“your mom is half-asleep and your dad is concerned on driving, let me touch you” he whimpered. his eyes reminded you a puppy’s ones. you hesitated but then you said no. tate looked disappointed and as much as you were eager of his touch, that was an inappropriate moment.

as soon as you turned over, tate started to leave soft kisses on your neck to get your attention. “tate, not now.” you repeated so he sighed and mumbled something you didn’t understand.

“dad, can you put another song? I don’t like this one” you said.

“what do you want me to put?”

“kurt cobain!” tate replied.

“and who’s this?” your dad said and made a confused face.

“forget it” tate said and lazily leaned his head on the seat. in a couple of minutes you felt his cold hand on your thigh and his big dark eyes on your figure.

“I told you no” you repeated for the 100th time. tate didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at you and slid his fingers down to your skirt.

you tried to stop him but it was too late - he put your panties aside and his fingers reached your entrance. “don’t you dare-” you couldn’t have said anything else as he’s slim fingers abruptly entered into you.

you gasped and immediately put one of your hands on your mouth trying to hold moans as much as possible.

“what’s going on back there?” your dad sounded suspicious.

“nothing, mr y/l/n” tate replied and put an angel face. as soon as your father put his eyes back on the road, tate pushed his fingers back inside you and this time you accidentally moaned.

luckily your father was distracted by the music and he didn’t hear any moan escaping from your mouth.

“tate, stop please… I’m begging you…” you whined but tate was a stubborn boy - “I’m not gonna stop until I can feel and taste your cum” he whispered into your ear. to be honest that made you even more wet and tate noticed it.

your father started to sing the song on the radio so he was surely distracted. “see? no one here cares if we shag in the car” tate said. “we’re not shagging and we won’t shag.”

“mmh why not?”

“they will see us, we may feel in safe in the back seats but they’re not that far from us, they can see and hear whatever we do” you pointed out.

tate didn’t speak after that, he just made you understand that he was needy of you so he slipped his fingers deeper into you. you wanted to moan so bad, you needed to let out all the screams you were holding but the presence of your parents in the front seats didn’t let you do that.

it was too much pleasure and tate was sending you over the edge.

“cum for me” tate whispered into you ear so that your parents wouldn’t hear him.

in not a long time you finally cummed onto tate’s fingers - he knew you were going to burst in a big orgasm so he kissed you right before you could let out a single moan.

when he took his fingers off you, you let a long breath out and you looked at tate exhausted - he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them savoring all your cum.

“we’re arrived!” your mom announced. you and tate looked at each other and smirked. you both couldn’t wait to finish in the hotel what you had started.

reminder: requests are always open and you can request about whoever you want. currently taking requests for ahs only!

taglist: @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff

-> click on the ask/request bottom or just comment if you want to be added in my taglist!

[just-antithings]

When antis go on about "writing fictional problematic ships will ruin the young impressionable minds" i just dont take them seriously.

1. theres a certain assumption that impressionable people will only copy fictional media and that the impressionable person will seek out taboo themes within that fictional media instead of avoiding it.

2. everyone has someone around them that they'll copy, someone that will leave a sort of 'influence' on that persons mind before they even can read, even if its just a passerby with a simple comment. that can stick in someones mind and it can be useless or useful, harmful or helpful. fiction is not the only way for impressionable people to be influenced by bad things

3. i feel like there's this idea that the people around the impressionable person are blank slates who showcase no opinions, no emotions or no physical reaction to anything and does not speak about anything regarding emotions, boundaries, relationships etc so the impressionable person is not able to get even a grasp from whats right or wrong unless it's from the internet

so what im curious about is why do the fandom wank go full force with fanfics / fanart and not touch upon about how irl people can fuck you up with how you view the world or even just share resources on healthy relationships, how to enforce boundaries etc or go after any real people for that matter who promote bad shit like those 'self help gurus' that spread dangerous misinformation and dangerous ideas (like the dating courses that say shit like if a woman says no shes playing hard to get). obviously i dont think they should be harassed but it definitely should be talked about if antis were really so concerned about peoples safety

i personally have the assumption they only value a fictional character over actual children, not only because their reasonings for how fanfic is 'normalising' shit which is fucking stupid but the first thing shouldn't be 'Fiction is at fault' when talking about kids (who are not the most reading inclined demographic and not the target audience for more graphic works that *might* influence them) it should be more 'What are kids being taught or why are they not being taught this' ,

for example why aren't kids being taught how to make sure to place boundaries, why do they not know whats a healthy relationship, why are they not being taught about what is and isnt illegal and are they being taught how to be safe etc.

the biggest part of peoples lives are school, family and friends. not the random ass fanfic authors and fanartists who just like being creative.

sorry its so long, needed this off my chest

.

[imbecominggayer]

Writing Advice On Self-Harm (tw obvi)

Hi, even though this post is going to be about serious issues such as self-harm and suicidal ideation and all of that fun jazz, I am going to speaking about this topic with the same tone I always do. If that is considered offensive, just remember I am a person who has been sent to the crisis center and does self-harm :)

Remember, these are just my personal experiences. Everything is diverse and it's okay to mention that these experiences are not universal. HOWEVER, don't accuse me of lying about any of this shit!

TW: Talks About Self-Harm, Mental Illness, And Everything Related

Actual Introduction:

Despite the fact that whump and angst tend to include mention of suicidal thinking and self-harm, they rarely feel realistic in my own point of view. Obviously, there are various different motivations and actions for self-harm but I just want to see some of my own representation.

So here are some myths about self-harm and myths about mental illness in general since they tend to overlap.

A) Everyone Who Self-Harms And Thinks Of Suicide Is Mentally Ill

Yeah, this is pretty big misconception in the community so I just wanted to establish this.

Outside influences like unhealthy friend circles, stressful situations, and abuse which are linked yet not conclusive for mental illness can influence someone's desire to do self-harm.

While mental illness is a big motivator for self-harm, self-harm is just a coping mechanism. And not everyone who uses coping mechanisms are mentally ill

B) Self-Harm Can Only Happen Like [EXAMPLE]

There are various different ways of self-harming.

Personally, I tend to scratch my arms and specifically my left hand since my dominate hand is my right. It's also just an easy place to reach.

So I get a tinsy bit upset when the only "serious" type of self-harm is shown by cutting. Especially since I felt that the only way someone would ever take me seriously is by using a knife.

Remember, readers are going to be reading your shit so please try and diversify your self-harming from the physical and the mental since every single self-harm habit outside of "ritualistic cutting" tends to be judged as "less serious" or "not real".

Mental self-harm is real and self-destructive.

C) Self-Harm Is Dramatic

This may just be a me-thing but my self-harming mental struggle definitely isn't like how other people write it.

Genuinely, I treat self-harm like it's just another thing I do.

"Oh yeah, sometimes I write, do a bit of scratching, read a book, and watch youtube"

I self-harmed exclusively in public spaces since my self-harm is mostly conflated with my anxiety. And these people do not notice a thing. Genuinely. LIke, I have literally turned my entire hand red and bloody and nobody noticed.

It's just that nobody ever suspects it since people don't think of scratching casually in class when they think of self-harm.

When I was forced to go the crisis center since I expressed planning of suicide, I was making jokes the entire time.

When I shared a room with this amazing person(they/them) who had bipolar disorder. We just talked about our sexualities, job dreams, and watched The Amazing World Of Gumball.

I miss them.

GRAND CONCLUSION:

The point of this last section is to illustrate the fact that those with mental illness aren't removed from society in the way authors tend to write them.

In the minds of authors, once you express possible symptoms of a mental illness you become this melodramatic inhuman spectacle of misery.

I'm pretty normal. I have hobbies that have no deep psychological justification. I have a family that isn't just pure trauma in a trench coat. I have thoughts of normal sadness, happiness, peace, and anger.

I just also happen to self-harm sometimes.

Again, this section might be problematic and bad but it's just how I feel. And there is no such thing as a "problematic feeling". All there exists are problematic actions.

TO REITERATE, IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME THAT IS FINE. I AM NOT THE GOD OF MENTAL STRUGGLE. I JUST WANTED TO THROW OUT MY OPINION.

sorry for offending anyone :(

[alaskan-wallflower]

tell me about pony and johnny waiting tables

okay so i had one in the works and accidentally posted it and then had to delete it so uh to the person who sent me the other ask about this in so sorry i can’t remember your user but hopefully you see this-

Okay SO-i feel like this kinda started because Johnny needed a job and found one at this diner. It was a pretty small diner, but it was VERY socy. like l…VERY. It’s a family run business so it’s run by this old lady-she’s very aristocratic and she honestly scared johnny at first but one day some docs started picking on him and she stepped up and kicked them out for him. like i got pretty bad-but she just pulls him aside and makes sure he’s okay before letting him off for a while

So cue Ponyboy-I feel like post book once Pony turned fifteen he wanted to get a job (Darry was kind of against it because he wanted Pony to put all his focus on school but he was like “oh it’s fine, i’ll work at the place johnny works because i hear they pay good” so he does. he starts waiting tables at this aristocratic restaurant

Pony and Johnny are definitely favorites of most of the regulars (because they’re all very rich middle aged people and Pony is a lot more charming than he thinks…and if we’re going off of Johnny like…cmon) but they’re absolutely little shits too like they’re so sweet to their faces but one wrong look and you got these two whispering and giggling about you. but cue the lady who runs it’ll the restraint

So obviously Johnny like…never gets to eat, and Ponybcomes straight from track usually so he physically doesn’t have time to really eat or shower or anything. So I feel like after a while them constantly going to work on an empty stomach gets very very problematic? so this lady kinda just pulls them aside one day to talk to them about it (they’re embarrassed as hell because yeah, they’re exhausted and starved like dogs) but she lets them take most of the leftovers from whatever specials they’re eating that night because they’re just gonna get thrown out anyway…so she lets them have it

This woman SPOILS those two, like it’s bad 😭😭 they don’t mind though, that restraint has really really good food too because it’s all like…rich people food

This lady is your stereotypical grandmother too like she doesn’t take no for an answer-sometimes she even lets them take some with them to feed themselves in coming days or in pony’s case the family

I dunno. I like this idea a lot because they both need someone nice in their lives

[novelconcepts]

the truly problematic thing about having insanely vivid dreams just about every night--and i mean the kind of vivid where you remember details days or even weeks later, like it's just another normal-ass memory--is that you wind up losing track on an emotional level of what's real. like. i know that was a dream. obviously it was a dream. but some part of my brain misses it like it really happened. i am painfully, achingly nostalgic for people i've never met, places i've never been, shit that literally could not ever happen--but i feel as though i remember. which is just the most unhinged thing, right? like, i remember going on a run that took me over a fence into Disneyland, and i remember having to take a shortcut through a Chinese restaurant, but it was fine, because Erika Ishii was there, and they'd done this before, so no worries. right? no! obviously not! why do i remember this with such visceral clarity three weeks later?

oh, what's your favorite episode of this TV show? the one i dreamt. yeah, don't worry about it, it didn't make coherent sense, but it was in the feelings, right? my ship had the best fucking scene. no, of course i can't explain it to you, that's madness. it involved a rocking chair. don't worry about it. it's fine. it's super important i don't accidentally reference this in a fic someday, though.

this shit is deranged, dude. missing people who are quite literally my own brain's invention with an actor's face. missing places that are a meld of a movie i saw once, my childhood bedroom, the second floor of my high school, and inter-dimensional space. like. no! no, this shouldn't be a thing! is, though. the clarity of it. just fucking bananas. this has been happening to me my whole goddamn life.

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[cryscendo]

i was gonna reply to your comment on my post but i thought id bring the discourse straight to your inbox instead alskfjdslk its not like we're telling teenagers to go out and discover some weird kinks of their own right this second lmao but they absolutely have to learn to be comfortable with the fact that people are going to be into kinky shit they think is weird and thats its not in fact a moral issue and also none of their business lol

like when i was a kid everything was so fucking raunchy and im not saying it was better but everything has to be so fucking sanitized now and thats not good either. when i was a kid online in the 00s people would literally link you to shock porn videos as a joke and that was just an accepted norm. nowadays there are so many ways to tailor your online experience to you and people are just ignoring all these block and filter functions and look at shit they know they dont like and bitch about it when they had every opportunity not to see it

and it goes back to the fucking rocky horror discourse like god forbid youre trying to portray a queer character in a way thats anything other than the most palatable beige blank slate that ever was. god forbid a queer character acts or dresses or looks or behaves in a queer way aksfjsld they want everything to be so fucking boring and palatable to 1) encapsulate every single queer experience on earth in a single piece of media and 2) be tolerable to straight people because theyre under the illusion that there is any acceptable way for a queer person to be to a bigot other than dead. both are a useless endeavor and they need to quit wasting energy on caring about either

like god fandom just feels so bleak nowadays and i know part of it is bc of how fast things move and no one can hold longterm interest in stuff anymore but a huge part of it is how flat out prudish people are all of a sudden

let ships be problematic let queer characters be weird let sex be kinky lmao let fandom by fun again my godddd

sorry for the rant aklsfjkdshfdk i apparently had a lot to say but hey i love you thanks for complaining with me xxxxx

omg i’m so sorry i meant to respond to this earlier than now!!! i saw it originally when i was waking up for work and thought “ooooh she’s making some banger points i’ll respond to that on my break” and then i just… forgot. so here i am now better late than never 🥰

i’ve always had a bit of a problem with the incessant need to sanitize fandom. i’m not saying ppl can’t curate their fandom experience to appeal to their interests, because obviously, they absolutely can. HOWEVER i do think it has become much more policed than it once was.

i think kink, and understanding its place on a fundamental level (especially within queer spaces), is something that takes maturity to fully understand. like with the rocky horror thing, the use of sexuality and kink is inherently different than what a young person of today might perceive it as. it doesn’t particularly surprise me that people are so sensitive to it, because they simply don’t understand their roots — they’ve formed this concept of queerness that pleases them, and therefore find other demonstrations of queerness to be antiquated or “back-pedalling” (even though we both know it isn’t). i think it’s dumb and immature to try to dictate “right and wrong” ways to be queer, but i’m also not all that shocked that it’s happening.

all this to say, queer characters don’t have to fit into the boxes that we deem as “appropriate”. just like how real queer people don’t owe an explanation for who they are, these queer characters don’t HAVE to reflect every queer person that engages with their media.

personally for me, kink is a MASSIVE component of the queer experience. so because of that, i like my favourite bitches to be kinky but that’s just me 😌

absolutely feel free to rant anytime your opinions are literally always correct to me <3

[sionisjaune]

Part 2 of the problematic sebcedes polyamory by which i was consumed this afternoon:

The aftermath of the failed threesome is as follows: Seb spends Saturday evening watching Taskmaster with Lewis instead of dropping him off at Nico’s apartment, and he is awoken the following morning (read: the crack of dawn) by a spectacular blowjob. Lewis beckons him out of bed with promises of smoothie bowls and granola. Seb likes these things, but not as much as Lewis does. He wonders whether Nico gets this treatment when Lewis sleeps over there. 

By 5:30 a.m., Seb and Lewis are on the way to the beach, Seb in the driver’s seat and Lewis blasting ENNY from the stereo speakers. When they arrive, Lewis changes into his tiny swim trunks behind the car, and Seb strips down to his boxers. It’s fucking freezing, and the sun is just peeking above the horizon. Seb shivers and wiggles his bare feet atop the sand while Lewis ties his hair back.

The polar bear plunge involves charging madly towards the tide with a few hundred other nutty participants and submerging one’s entire body in near zero degree water. Seb grabs Lewis’s hand and orients him towards the water. He can feel himself grinning. Lewis is already bouncing on the balls of his feet—he loves this shit too. 

Seb and Lewis race down the beach, hand in hand, until the water is up to Seb’s waist, and he can practically feel his balls retracting into his body. 

“Fuck, that’s cold!” Seb shouts over the sound of a hundred other freezing people shrieking. 

Lewis giggles madly and pulls Seb under. He comes up sputtering and shuddering, but Lewis rewards him with a sub-zero kiss on the lips. 

In the end, Seb has to drag Lewis out of the water and back to the car. He retrieves the emergency blankets from the trunk, and they cuddle up in the backseat with a thermos of mint tea. 

“We should do this again next year,” Lewis says, knocking his head against Seb’s. 

“I think my toes are going to fall off,” says Seb. Lewis snorts. 

-

After the polar bear plunge, Seb savours a picturesque dinner with Lewis downtown before Lewis has to leave to start packing for a work trip. He wants to protest, but he knows it really will take Lewis most of a day to stuff his ridiculous, designer luggage. Lewis sends him a text when the plane is about to take off, and then five days later Seb is waiting in front of the airport to pick him up. 

Seb helps him heave two suitcases and a compact duffel into the back before kissing him on the cheek. Lewis lingers in his arms for an extra second, his chin on Seb’s shoulder. 

“I missed you,” says Lewis. 

“Let’s stop at the pizza place you like,” Seb says. 

Lewis pulls back with wide eyes. “Cauliflower crust?” 

“Obviously,” says Seb. 

-

Two days later, Seb is back at the airport, dropping Lewis off for the promised Bali trip. Nico is waiting at the gate with his own ridiculous mountain of luggage and giant, tinted sunglasses sliding down his nose. Lewis jogs happily into his arms while Seb lingers beside the rack of overpriced travel pillows. 

Seb crumples the receipt for Lewis’s green juice in his fist, watching Nico and Lewis tow their suitcases towards the boarding area. Nico is literally intolerable—Seb can’t stand to be in a room with him. Speaking to him is like speaking to an ex that knows how to push all of his buttons and doesn’t hesitate to do so whenever it’s convenient for him. The only good part about it is that Nico doesn’t like him either, which prevents Seb from shouldering any guilt. 

He walks back through the airport to get to his car and drive home. Roscoe greets him at the door, snuffling like a human with a severe sinus infection. Seb kneels to the floor to pat him on the head, and Roscoe flops on his back and wiggles gratefully, soliciting tummy rubs.

Seb used to have another partner—this was in the middle of Lewis, two-ish years ago—but he was younger and ultimately not interested in Seb’s lifestyle, so it ended. Still, it was nice to have someone living in his home.

Now it’s just Lewis. Seb is okay with that. 

-

Seb and Lewis are in the car again, on the road to spend the weekend camping out in Joshua Tree. Lewis reserved the site he wanted six months ago and has been talking about it ever since. Seb convinced him to pack one suitcase instead of two, and made him promise they won’t break up during the fight that will inevitably happen while pitching the tent. 

“If anyone would break up with anyone over a tent,” says Lewis, his elbow out the window, “it would be you breaking up with me. Not that I’m calling it, or anything.” 

“Ha ha,” says Seb. “Wait until I tell you you can’t light candles inside the tent.” 

“The tent is flame resistant,” says Lewis. “I checked.”  

Seb shrugs, one hand on the wheel. “Sure. Let’s test it.” 

Lewis snorts, and settles against the window. The dust from the road is floating inside the car, mixing with the afternoon sunlight to form a heavy haze. Lewis looks good in rugged conditions—as good as he does wrapped in fluffy bathrobes and slathered with shea butter.

“So,” says Lewis, turning his torso towards Seb. He really should wear his seatbelt correctly. “About two weeks ago. We didn’t talk about it… but that was objectively awesome sex, right?”

“Excuse me?” says Seb. It figures that Lewis would trap him in the car for this conversation. He blows out an overwhelmed breath. “It was… satisfying, in a certain respect.” 

Lewis tilts his head and sucks on his lower lip. He has that wobble in his eyes like he isn’t very happy with what he’s being told. “You’re telling me that wasn’t the most intense, coordinated scene we’ve ever done?” Lewis rubs his temple. “Fuck, that was so hot, when both of you…” Lewis trails off and his thighs fall open a few extra centimetres. Seb wonders if he’s remembering the part where he and Nico fucked Lewis at once, both holes filled, or when Seb held Lewis down so that Nico could eat him out. 

Seb chooses his words carefully. “It was a challenge,” he says. “There was a lot of negotiation that you didn’t see beforehand.” 

“It was perfect,” says Lewis. Seb chances another look over at Lewis, spread across the passenger side. His smoothie and his kombucha occupy both cupholders, and he clipped an air freshener to the dash that smells like pina colada. “Thank you for doing it for me.”

Seb grips the steering wheel and forces his gaze back to the endless road. He can’t think of anything he wouldn’t do for Lewis, even if Nico were involved.

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 2x13 ‘Voyage of Temptation’ Reaction

There was so much in that little “Very well.” from Obi-Wan

Anakin is on to you Obi-Wan and you are not helping yourself with all of those defensive and unsubtle reactions.

Why did that clone sound like an Aussie? G’day mate?

Lol of course there’s something in the crates

Satine is making an impassioned argument against war but it is rather undermined by her lying on a pile of plush cushions on top of a giant stepped throne that positions her above her subjects so she is literally looking down on them. The opulent setting, servant droids and champers being passed around doesn’t help either. 

“I meant no disrespect.” said with all the underlying sass possible. That “Really” from Satine shows that she saw right through it.

“Senators, I presume you are acquainted with the collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi.” SCREECHING THE SAVAGERY

“Your highness is too kind.” The Sassery Continues!

I only noticed this while pausing but why the fuck does Orn Free Taa have two Twi’lek girls hanging off him?!

I love the framing here when Obi-Wan is addressing Satine. He’s almost at her eye level even though she’s on top of her throne pedestal. Visual metaphor for how similar they are yet how they are kept apart from eye other due to their duty to their beliefs? So close and yet so far.

Mum and Dad are fighting again.

“I think a multitude makes discord, not good counsel.” Satine absolutely shutting down Orn Free Taa. I love her. She takes absolutely no shit.

“There may be two sides to every dilemma but the Duchess only favours hers.” And you don’t only favour yours Obi-Wan? Side eyeing

Hello Mixer! Oh, they’ve named a clone, and we’re in a dark and spooky environment. He’s not going to last very long is he?

R2 you cheeky little shit

The clones definitely sound Australian. They’re supposed to be Kiwis, not Aussies. Very different accents. Humans are space australians though so maybe we can use that as the loosest of explanations?

“Droids” (derogatory). Is immediately stabbed to death by a droid.

The flirting continues! I mean fighting! The fighting continues. Yes, they’re definitely fighting. Totally not flirting at all.

“Even extremists can be reasoned with.” I love you Satine but I’m gonna have to disagree with you on that one.

“Ah, the sarcasm of a soldier.” “The delusion of a dreamer.” So that’s where this exchange comes from. That is some serious staring contest going on and neither is backing down.

“Fine.” ALL THE SASS

Oh rip Redeye, we didn’t even find out his name until after his gruesome death.

The jump from the clone getting stabbed to death by the droid to the opulent surrounds of the upper levels of the ship was jarring. Probably intentionally so.

“You and Satine have a history.” ya don’t say

CACKLING at Obi-Wan’s side eye at Anakin after he said Obi-Wan’s description of his year protecting Satine sounded romantic. Anakin did have a point though. Obi-Wan’s voice definitely sounded like he was reminiscing about old (romantic) times.

“That would’ve been problematic.” YA DON’T SAY

Anakin finding out his Master had a girlfriend?! Surprised pikachu face.

“A jedi must not form attachments” says the little shit with A WIFE

“But he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.” Aw sadge

“Alright men, what’s the problem? I’m missing dinner.” Anakin back to being a shit again I see. Normal service has resumed.

Anakin did you just cut off Cody to talk to your droid?! How Dare.

Giant empty box in an obvious spot in the cargo bay. Yup, that looks pretty obviously out of place.

“That’s not good.” Do I have to say it again?

Anakin talking to R2 like he’s a dog. That is definitely Talking To My Dog Voice. WHOSEAGOODDROIDYESYOUARE

The droid walking out the dead body of Redeye is maximum levels of creepy

Is this a spider droid?

Oof lightsaber right through the droid eye

Oh of course there are babies. Of course it had creepy tiny baby assassin probe droids. More nightmare fuel.

It’s probably cruel but I did laugh at Orn Free Taa screaming and running away from the tiny assassin probe droids.

They’re fighting back to back and protecting each other! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah

“Do you always carry a deactivator?” Obi-Wan is so not impressed

“Just because I’m a pacifist doesn’t mean I won’t defend myself.” “Now you sound like a jedi.” Hmmmm he’s got a point there

I don’t think Rex got the braincell today

“I meant the scar I got after you fell and dropped me.” “Oh. Yes.” CACKLING AND SCREECHING

Satine completely stepping on Obi-Wan’s knight in shining armour moment there.

I think that quote about how people treat those below them rather than those equal to or above them is really relevant to Anakin here, who treated that droid like absolute shit.

A traitor?! The sinister plot thickens!

Dark!Obi-Wan decides to come out and play as he basically threatens the senators with an assassin droid.

Hello to senator Kin Robb

Called it. I thought there was something off about that dude when we met him in the last episode, though I thought he was a slimy advisor rather than a senator. Reminded me of Wormtongue from LotR

Obi-Wan did you just hit the assassin droid away from Satine with a frying pan?!

So Merrick has instantly transformed from smooth talking slimy advisor/senator to OTT scenery chewing villain

Lmao at Cody just randomly shooting into the air when the baby assassin droid leapt onto his bucket

Rex freaking out and smacking into the storage crates as he tries to keep the other baby assassin droid off his bucket

Anakin: Well, we found the little ones. What about the mother? Rex: Haven’t seen it Also Rex: *immediately gets body slammed by the mother assassin droid*

Rex when you see the mother assassin droid, don’t just point at it! Poor Rex, he definitely didn’t get the braincell for this mission

Rex just catching the assassin droids giant stabby legs and then kicking it off him like it’s nothing 

Rex taking it up a notch and leaping on top of the assassin droid, pinning it under his boot and blasting all the tiny assassin droids to bits. Sir did you have to go So Hard?

I didn’t catch this until I replayed this little section over quite a few times but Anakin actually signals to Cody to stop firing at the mother assassin droid so that Anakin can fling his lightsaber at it and chop off some of its legs. 

I also didn’t notice this little detail until after multiple replays but the mother assassin droid actually headbuts Rex straight in the bucket. Poor Rex, if he didn’t have the braincell today before that then he definitely doesn’t now.

Also the assassin droid sounds like it screams when Rex steps on it. He can step on me like that any time he likes

“This may not be the time to ask” YA THINK ANAKIN?!

Lol @ Obi-Wan’s defensive reaction. It definitely has a bearing on the situation at hand. Their reactions and expressions after are just as hilarious. Poor little Obi-Wan and his sad little face.

That is one weird looking ship

Well that’s one way of boarding a ship

“Anakin, she’s not my girlfriend!” CACKLING

Merrik has gone full villain stereotype

“Satine…” MYEMOTIONS.GIF

OMG THIS WHOLE LOVE CONFESSION SCENE

“I’ve loved you from the moment you came to my aid all those years ago.” SOBBING

Also, Merrik’s look of utter disgust in the background and the overly dramatic eyeroll is absolutely sending me

“Satine, this is hardly the time or place for…” DAMMIT MAN LISTEN TO HER

Satine: *puppy dog eyes* Obi-Wan: Alright

“Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi order.” SHAKING AND CRYING

Merrik utterly ruining the moment there. Though the absolute over the top scenery chewing villainry that he’s channeling is still deeply amusing me.

Was that a tactical love confession from Satine? I’m not saying it wasn’t genuine or real, just that it seemed a both obvious and clever time to tell the love of your life that you’ve loved him ever since you met. We’ve already seen that Satine is exceptionally smart and shrewd and I wouldn’t put it past her. 

“You have the romantic soul of a slug Merrik *stomps* and slugs are so often trod upon.” YASSSS GET HIS ASS SATINE

Merrik getting his villain monologue in. He has got them in a philosophical quandary though and he knows it. I am absolutely loving the over the top sarcastic overly dramatic villain mode. It’s like they’ve got every stereotypical villain trope and shoved it in him.

Merrik: “Who’ll strike first and brand themselves a cold-blooded killer?” Anakin: Me!

That was definitely a slowed down few notes of the Imperial March playing over the shot of Anakin popping up after stabbing Merrik through the chest with his lightsaber. It’s an interesting juxtaposition because Anakin pops up from the bottom of the screen with this little smile and looking almost sweet and wide-eyed. Yet the music is hinting at what we all know happens in the future. Another thing I didn’t notice until multiple replays of this little section is that the framing of Anakin here is also very dark. The entire background is black or dark grey. Plus his armour and jedi robes are black, very dark grey and red. How did anyone not see this coming? Or rather, they probably did and didn’t know how to handle it or realise it was past the point of no return until it was too late.

“Obi-Wan, I…” DAMMIT CODY. Why did you have to pick now to be your usual hyper competent Marshal Commander self? Talk about a cock block

“I must get back to the business of diplomacy.” Nooooooooo

“As you say Duchess, some other time.” SOBBING

That feels like Obi-Wan’s version of “As you wish.” from The Princess Bride.

That is a lot of fancy words and diplomacy and Great Negotiator-ing for ILOVEYOU

“I’m still not sure about the beard.” CACKLING

Obi-Wan’s little concerned and flustered reaction. My girlfriend doesn’t like my beard?!

“It hides too much of your handsome face.” Dayum gurl Satine with the smooth talking moves right there.

Anakin: A very remarkable woman. Obi-Wan: She is indeed. Anakin: Ya know, if you need any tips on how to keep a relationship a secret, I know a guy.

Also, that hand on the shoulder from Anakin spoke volumes

[catboymoments]

CW CSA mention/incest /// (no description, just a question about your take on the owl house)

I was curious to know if this is a repeat behavior for Belos in your take on The Owl House? Did he hurt other grimwalkers/Caleb before Hunter? And if he is motivated by that (why he went after Evelynn)?

If you could,, would you be willing to elaborate on Belos's obsession with Caleb? I don't mean to call attention to the perpetrator at all,, not really asking for his motive,, I want to know where you are coming from with your take on this. It changes the context for me when interacting with your content.

Okay so as I go into this please know I don’t fuck with incest ships or romanticize them and I think that shit is GROSS!!!!!! Whenever I discuss topics that are dark or taboo, it’s all done for the purpose of a diverse and compelling story because we all know that only fluff does not a good narrative make, and my reasons for writing these things doesn’t come from a place of perversion, satisfaction or gratification. It comes from a place of me healing from my own trauma and for the first time, stepping into writing content that goes outside of my comfort zone.

I think that Philip Wittebane is a fucked up, evil and hypocritical man but he’s also a product of his environment and what we know of his childhood. He thinks what he’s doing is rational, and it’s not. Maybe he knows this! Maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know. But I do think that Belos was very possessive towards his older brother, and had some (obviously unreciprocated and also. Unknown to Caleb) behaviors/thoughts toward him that weren’t ok. I joke about him being “grandpa yandere” but it’s mostly a lighthearted joke about bad tropey things in anime and how it relates to how I view Belos’ character.

Whenever the “yandere” trope comes up in anime it’s mostly portrayed as the character being in genuine love with fluffy romantic feelings, and their violent behavior surrounding it played for laughs, or in worse cases, it’s romanticized as something tragic or beautiful. I’m not here to say that watching something that does this is problematic or it makes you a bad person, but in the real world and around a narrative where the characters have common sense (say, TOH,) this behavior isn’t a good thing at all- it’s abusive. It’s predatory. It doesn’t come from a place of love or affection as much as characters like yuno gasai would like to say- it comes from a place of a need to control and intent to harm without regard for the victim’s feelings, only the aggressors feelings matter. It’s like how rape isn’t about love, it’s about selfishness and control and violence. (This extends to the grimwalkers. It wasn’t about pure intentions or affectionate feelings. Ever.)

I feel like Belos, with his Puritan-Christian upbringing (that we all know sucks) and the shock of Caleb, his only caretaker and the only person he ever cared about abandoning him for someone else (an “evil demonic witch” nonetheless!!) caused a slurry of feelings that make for a complex narrative and a horrifying character who’s actions go on to hurt so many people.

Philip Wittebane is a horrible, complex, formidable and terrifying villain, and he only gets worse when you peel back the layers and start to speculate for yourself.

[iguessitsjustme]

What’s been going on with me?

No one asked but this is the oversharing website and well. I’ve always treated my blog like my own personal diary. For those of you who know me irl, feel free to ignore. You either already know or you I’m planning on telling you when I get the chance (only you get more details then what I’ll post online). Under the cut for length and other reasons.

I debated posting this but I am incapable of shutting up and telling everyone my business. Well sort of. Obviously, I don’t go into a lot of detail but I share what I’m comfortable telling strangers online.

I had something happen roughly a month ago that massively triggered my ptsd. I also had a whole lot going on in my personal life and I decided to take a break from tumblr for about a week. That break was great. But it became clear not long after I came back from my week break that it wasn’t long enough. Now, if we’re mutuals it’s likely that you’ve noticed I haven’t exactly taken a full break from tumblr and I’ve been here lurking and liking. But I definitely took a break from posting. June and July are already extremely rough months for me mentally and there were things about being on tumblr that made me feel…not great. So I decided to take a step back for myself. I also cut down on the amount of shows I’m watching. I had to place a lot of shows on hold because I no longer had the brain space for them. I’m planning on watching them when I have the time and capacity though.

I have also been…physically ill. I don’t talk about it a whole lot on here but I am chronically ill and it doesn’t often flare up and it doesn’t often flare up bad enough to impact my life but I can honestly say that the month of July has been one of the toughest months of my life. (Please don’t worry about me, I have a rock solid support system and I am doing okay.)

But as a result of my ptsd being triggered and my mental health tanking so severely, I really sat with why tumblr was contributing to this. And I had to come to a decision. I realized that over the past few years, in an attempt to make my blog as safe a space as possible for everyone, I have turned myself into a doormat. I have said before that it is a struggle for me to be kind because my natural state of being is to be mean. So I’ve decided that I’m just gonna be myself. I am going to be mean. That’s not to say that I’m going to go out of my way to be mean and rude and cruel to people. What I mean is, I’m gonna stop pulling punches if people come to me. If you do something weird, I am going to call a spade a spade and call you on it. My motto in real life and now on tumblr is “don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing.” Before I can make my blog a safe space for others, I need to make it a safe space for me. Because I was very close to deactivating my blog and never turning back. BL tumblr can be a wonderful community and I genuinely love it with all my heart (why I am still here and did not deactivate) but dear god we all need to stop policing each other. It’s one thing to have boundaries and it’s entirely another to tell people if they don’t post the way you do, that they’re wrong. If you come on my blog, if you interact with me in some way, you do not get to control what I say, how I say it, or how I post. By all means, if I am being problematic, call me on that shit. But if all we have is a difference of opinion, you don’t get to say shit. That’s not to mean that we can’t have a difference of opinion, but if you in any way imply that I am wrong to be sharing my opinion in any way, then congrats, you’ll see what I’m like when I’m mean. (To be clear, I have a whole list of blocked people now but tumblr is shit so I still see some toxic shit here because tumblr’s blocking system is ass. and before you tell me to use xkit, I do on my laptop but that doesn’t help if I’m on my phone.)

So now that I’ve said…all that. I want to share two things from the past week or so:

I saw Deadpool & Wolverine twice. Those two did definitely fuck in that van. The soundtrack slapped and I’m not just saying that because Stray Kids has a song…somewhere…in that movie. Apparently. Also their song for the movie goes SO HARD. Check out Slash by Stray Kids and then tell me your thoughts.

Speaking of Stray Kids. I saw them at Lollapalooza yesterday! They were GREAT. I was not. I felt wholey unwell the whole time. I am too introverted, too old, and too ill for music festivals. But if you get a chance to see some clips of the performance…just think of me, in the crowd, screaming despite feeling not too hot. (And when I say ill I mean my chronic illness not that I went to a crowded place with a contagious disease). I made a new friend there and I got to see them perform so many songs live. I don’t have a lot of videos or photos of the performances because I was too busy being entranced but I will say that I didn’t know I had to see Super Bowl live until I did. I did not realize I bad I wanted it. And seeing Back Door and God’s Menu live was simply a dream come true. I was close to tears but I held back because I needed to be able to SEE.

And speaking of lolla…one of the bands I saw there (same stage as Stray Kids) is Sundial and they are just…delightful. Wonderful stage presence and a fuckton of talent and if you are looking for some new music/new artist to check out, I HIGHLY recommend. They had a new fan out of me before the first song even ended.

I don’t have much else to add. As always you are welcome to DM me, reply, or send me things to my ask box but energy will be matched. If you’re kind and understanding and approach me genuinely, we’ll get on well. I have made some truly amazing friends here. I mean this when I say that my mutuals are really some of the greatest people on the planet and they deserve all of the love in the world. I love you all so much that I couldn’t leave despite how close I came to leaving. I also would like to add that despite all of the above, I am genuinely and truly fine. I will start posting again and annoy you all with my unhinged thoughts yet again <3