#*Angelica Schuyler voice* he will never be satisfied~

[silverstark]

I want to read more fic about Bing-ge after the LBG vs LBM battle. You're telling me the master of three realms and three thousand wives settled contentedly back into his life after seeing something that made him want to cry with envy?

[moosoobi]

Revelation

In the night: Chapter 1

T.Jeffy- Hamilton: the musical

Thomas’s interest in Y/N pulls him into a position he was previously blind to. They say every girl’s another mystery, but definitely not like this. Buckle your seatbelt Tommy, you’re in for a ride

Finally finished the first part of ITN (which is ironic since the moment I wrote this message I still haven’t finished it). I really hope I’m able to bring this story to life the way I want to and I hope y’all enjoy 😔💕. Here’s some stuff to expect:

Told from Thomas’s POV

Modern Au

College talk even though I’m literally in my second year of high school (so please bear with me) 

Ruh roh moments

Sorta weird POV/storytelling (I’m new to writing fics and stuff so this is definitely a learning opportunity) Also excuse my English errors: Though this is my only language, my school system seemed to fail in teaching me how to write

Word count: 6.7k (including separators) 

2 DISCLAIMERS:

TW: itty bitty angst, themes of injury/blood, etc. 

I’m not the best story writer, so after reading this chapter you may have many questions. Please keep in mind that this is one chapter out of (about) 10. Things that you may not understand in this chapter will most likely be explained in future chapters.

-Now Playing: In The Night by The Weeknd-

My God, she’s perfect 

     The way the sunlight reflects off of her glass skin. The sincerity in every word, every letter that she writes with her only pencil. To be that flawless, it’s a mystery to me. She takes a glance at me. Did she feel me staring? I duck down my head in embarrassment. 

“Jefferson, you oughta put that scholarship to good use”

     Professor Washington boomed to the entire class. I hear a fragment of her giggle. Her laugh is soft and naïve. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of her happiness.

     Washington is right, though. It's my first semester after I came back from my student exchange program over in France and I can already feel my sanity slipping. France was a beauty to visit, so many customs and cultures I wish I could be flourished in right now. 

     But there was one thing great about going to school in New York: I get to sit in a classroom with Y/N L/N. 

     I’ve never talked to her formally, at least not yet. She’s always sitting alone, never answers any questions, but Professor Washington makes the class acknowledge her perfect test scores and fascinating interpretations 

     As the bell rings I watch her stand swiftly. Is she in a rush? I can't help but watch as her hair is flung over her shoulder. She stuffs her notebooks and singular pencil into her burgundy-magenta backpack. Hey, at least she has good taste in color. 

I don’t think you understand

     She sits alone everyday during lunch, yet she never looks bothered. Her energy is so compelling to me. A feeling about her that I cannot comprehend, something that feels greater than my existence. I just got to know. 

“Thomas, you gotta work on staring at people less noticeable” James catches my attention by pointing his fork a little too close to my face. 

      I was staring? Again?

     I shake my head to snap back to reality

“The great Thomas Jefferson is interested in someone for longer than 30 seconds. I gonna be honest with you Thom, that’s impressing”

     I hear James laugh as he violently stabs a few pieces of pasta onto his fork. 

     James has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We went to the same middle and high school down in Virginia, and just coincidentally ended up going to the same college in New York. 

     We’re always there for each other. I remember cheering for him at a high school assembly after he won a story writing challenge, he’s such a nerd. Then again, he had to drive me home a couple of times after I failed multiple driving tests.

     Back in high school, James was the Chess Club Champion, a title he always shoved down my throat. It’s no secret why, though. He’s really good at thinking things through, While I on the other hand tend to dive headfirst into the abyss.

“Shut it James” I sarcastically retort, taking a sip of the expensive chocolate milk which my scholarship supposedly pays for 

Hey, can I sit here?

     I talked to her during class. Her voice is angelic: Now, I’m not one to be religious and all, but that voice could get me on my knees praying for forgiveness. My ego couldn’t get me anywhere at all, as if she already knew my tactics, she knew my flirts, and how? I guess it just adds to her mystery.

“C'mon! that one works every time!” I whine

“Don't be so full of yourself Jefferson, I’ve heard them all before” A smile danced across her face

     She did, however, laugh at some of my remarks. It's good to know that she has a sense of humor. My jokes of Professor Washington’s shiny, bald head. The jokes of Professor Washington’s assistant, John Adams, who’s suspiciously absent considering he signed up for this job.

     Heck, I would even make fun of myself if it meant I got to hear that graceful laugh one more time- actually, that might be a little too far.

     Many days of giggling in class came after that day. I can see her starting to open up to my friends and I, like she’s spreading her wings and showing us the greatness that lies behind the social wall that she put up years ago. Even when we got in trouble for a little too much giggling in the back of the class, I sacrificed my own pride so she didn’t have to. Yes, I, Thee Thomas Jefferson, did that. 

---

     Even though I could see the social wall she put up, I knew one day Y/n would fall for my charming pick up lines, or maybe I just happened to have a lucky day:

“Y/N I need some a some help with my math homework” 

     Y/N glances over to me in concern. I fake a scared expression.

“Quick!” I swiftly grab her shoulder and shake her “What’s your phone number?”

     She playfully smacks my arm

---

     Obtaining her number felt like a rite of passage, like I’m important to her, like she wants me in her life. I couldn’t stop smiling that day, and of course James just had to make a comment on it. 

“Thomas, if you keep smiling like that I’m going to start thinking that your sick or something”

      James said as he shut my laptop, tired of waiting for me to pack my things.

“Now that's REAL ironic coming from you, James” 

      I raised an eyebrow as my laugh begins to come up my throat. I take my closed laptop and shove it somewhere into my backpack.

“Okay, leaving for a month in sophomore year just because of a little fever doesn’t make ‘being sick’ as part of my trade mark” 

     James playfully smacked the back of my head. Thankfully, my curls serve as protection, not just to make me sinfully handsome. James and I walk out of the freezing lecture hall and were hit with the crisp-coldness of New York.

     To the right of me I catch a glimpse of that eye catching burgundy-magenta backpack as it’s thrown into the trunk of a shiny, expensive car. My feet keep its motion as my head turns to see Y/N standing at the door of the car. 

“Yo, is that Y/N?” I hear James whisper behind me “and who’s that?” 

     My attention is suddenly drawn to the tall man walking around the car to open her door. His curly hair is pulled into a small bun and the smile he had on his face broke apart the stubble on his jaw. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. 

“I’m just as clueless as you are”

     Keeping my glance on Y/N and the man, I watch as the man opens the door for her. My stomach turns as I watch Y/N smile back at him as she sits in the car. 

     For a split second, I swear I saw her shoot a soft glance at me. My feet almost stop in their tracks before I feel James’ hand yank me onto another pathway. 

“I’m all for you being head over heels, but we’re gonna be late to our study session with Angie” 

     Reality starts to set back into my head. 

“Right, lets dip.” 

---

“So little Tommy is Infatuated with this woman?”

     Angie’s eyes are piercing, and her luscious hair frames her face in a saintly manner. She slips off her baby pink coat to ease into her library seat. Her eyebrow raises as she takes a sip of her steaming coffee

     Of course James wouldn’t shut his mouth, especially around the notorious Angelica Schuyler.

     Angie’s pretty popular here, I find myself wondering why she has so many connections, yet it’s not just any reason(s) why she seems to be in the spotlight.

     1: She’s the oldest Schuyler. Her last name definitely got her places, not like I’m one to talk. Everyone seems to know her, not just at school, but all around New York City, and with her 5,000 Instagram followers, her first name’s starting to catch up with her last name in popularity

     2: Angie’s Daddy has money money. And that’s no secret when she decides to walk around campus with her designer handbags and shoes. I tend to think she always gets what she wants, but I know deep down, she’s never gonna be satisfied. Maybe it’s just a side effect of growing up with a silver spoon in your mouth

     And finally,

     3: Miss Schuyler here is Bold. She’s never afraid to put both me and James in our place. It’s almost as if she can’t be touched by anyone’s thoughts of her, then again the gossip in NYC is terribly insidious. With such grace and respect, Angelica is not afraid to throw your opinion into the ground.

“Yeah I swear, Jefferson would’ve gotten run over if I didn’t pull him onto the pathway” James attempted to tone down his laugh so the librarian wouldn’t stab him with those old, sharp eyes

“She-...”

For the first time, I didn’t know how to recoil

 “..Just caught me off guard.”. In an attempt to change the topic, I flipped through the pages of his textbook. 

Angelica and James shared an astonished glance at Thomas before looking at each other. I could hear James shrug and flipping open his textbook. I lift my head as I hear Angelica dig through her bag

“Alright let’s get started” Angie claps her hands together with determination

—-

     It’s been 2 hours of studying in the ghostly library. Unfortunately, I can’t avoid the talk forever.

“Hey Thomas, why don’t you invite her to our next study session?”

     Angelica smirked as she rudely shut my laptop. I desperately imagine the day where both James and Angelica leave me alone. I angrily glare up at her, but she has a good idea

“Actually, that’s not to bad of an idea” I ponder for a moment before retrieving my phone from my pocket

Thomas: Hey Y/N, u free this week?

     Hmm. Is this okay? Nah it’s too straight forward. I sigh as I deleted and retyped the message

Thomas: Greetings Ms. L/N, this is Mr. Jefferson from class. Would you delight me by partaking in a study session? 

What the heck Jefferson? I began to get frustrated from this nonsense. It’s just a text, why am I getting so anal over it?

Thomas: Hey Y/N, ds@insdas/19z7dnesdc-

     Angelica, who was watching me the entire time, snatched the phone from my hands. I attempted to protest, yet Angelica Schuyler knows how to hold her ground.

“Angie wh-” 

“I’ll do you a favor, Jefferson.” She said sternly. There was no way I was getting that phone back, heck, I would be lucky if I got it back in one piece

“Aaaaand sent!” I heard her squeal 

     Angelica suddenly tossed the phone to me and I fumbled it between my hands before I held it stably. I check to see the text that Angelica sent from my phone

Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?

Oh. It was that easy.

“Thanks Angie”

I shove my phone back in my pocket. Part of me was excited to have an excuse to text Y/N, yet I do wonder how awkward it would be if she rejected the offer. I mean, she already has the perfect grades, why would she need the extra help?

I start to rethink my decision.

—-

     It wasn’t until 11 pm at night until I got a reply from Y/N. Beforehand, I arrived at my apartment around 8 pm. As soon as my door shut, the room was filled with growls indicating my current problem: hunger. That could only be solved with one solution: microwavable mac and cheese. 

     My phone dinged while I was laying motionless on my bed. My apartment was right next to the street, and all I could hear was the busy streets of New York City.

     My eyes opened as I turned to my charging phone. 

Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way

     I was filled with joy, so much that I couldn’t wait another second to reply. 

Thomas: Alright, we meet at the library after our class. Can you make it? 

     Seeing the three dots jump melodically made my stomach feel as if two fairies were dancing throughout my body. Any second now, any second. ding!

Y/N: sounds good!

     I guess it’s settled, I get to hang out with the puzzling Y/N L/N, and maybe I’ll get to learn a bit more about her. But just because it’s a study session doesn’t mean I can’t show her what a southern gentleman looks like, and for the first time, I’m so excited to study

---

     James, Y/N, and I walk out of professor Washington’s class, laughing our asses off over some stupid joke. Everyone around us appears to be annoyed, especially with having to sit through almost two hours of my friends and I laughing in the back of the class, but it’s not like I care.

     Once we’re hit by the bitter cold of New York, my eyes are immediately drawn to that expensive car. So familiar and so faint in head, the memory of Y/N smiling as she hopped into his car replays in my brain.

“I’ll be back guys”

     Y/N excuses herself from the group before lightly jogging to the car. Her hair was graceful in the wind, and her burgundy-magenta backpack didn’t seem to weigh her down at all. For a split second, my brain acknowledges that mysterious man in the driver’s seat. There was a moment of awkward eye contact with him, his cold eyes pierced through me before my attention was drawn back to Y/N. She fixes her hair and jacket.

That was cute.

What?

     James and I watch Y/N before turning to each other. I suggest to James that we wait for her, show a little southern hospitality. Even though Y/N seems to be fond of this man, he gives off a mysterious vibe similar to Y/N’s, but I do not want to unravel that mystery at all.

     Seeing him throw a smirk at Y/N causes discomfort in my stomach. 

     Y/N comes prancing back to us, an embarrassed smile on her face. Behind her, that shiny, expensive car begins to drive away.

“My bad, I forgot to tell my roommate that I would be out late”

“That’s your roommate?” James asks, attempting to hide his curiosity and shock

“and he takes you home after class?” I interrupt briefly

Y/N nervously laughs before nodding “something like that, he just..”

     That pause was a little too long

“..doesn’t like me out of the house too late so he volunteers to drive me home all the time”

     I shrug it off before jumping at the feeling of James’ warm hands pulling Y/N and I to the direction of the library. Y/N and I look at him with confusion

“What? Angie doesn’t like when we’re late, remember?” James says, practically dragging us to the Library

—-

“Nice to meet you”

     Angelica and Y/N got along pretty well. I can tell Angie was happy to finally have a girl to hangout with rather than having to deal with me and James only. She’s already starting to resemble a sisterly figure to Y/N, then again, growing up with two sisters must’ve prepared Angie for this moment.

     I don’t hear much about the other Schuylers, but I am familiar with them. Angelica is the oldest, as we know. Her first sister, Eliza Sch- I’m pretty sure she got married, is the nicest person you’ll meet. Whoever won her surely must be worthy, because we all know people like me wouldn’t get anywhere near Eliza thanks to her older sister. Her youngest sister, Margarita Peggy Schuyler, is just like Angelica.

     Stubborn. As. Fuck.

     I’m confident that Angelica has taught her that philosophy since she was born. Anyway, Peggy is currently living her dreams in Southern California. Not sure what she does, but I’m sure she’s financially stable, she is a Schuyler after all.

     All of us struggle to not annoy the librarian, let alone the entire library. I watch as Y/N opens up, just a little more, to Angelica, James, and I.

     Hours pass as we clown around in the library. From actually completing class work to a small drawing competition between James and I, I was certainly having a good time, and so was everyone else.

     It was pleasing to see Y/N more laid back rather than how she acts in class. In front of Professor Washington she’s so ‘put together’ and organized, but surrounded by her friends she’s such an amazing person, her range in professionalism and humor is astounding.

     I can’t seem to ignore the fact that Angelica notices the way I look at Y/N. It’s definitely not in my strong suit to be ‘low key’, I’m known for dramatic entrances and stealing the spotlight. She smiles when I make eye contact with her, and I’m pretty sure it’s just her way of annoying me, but I can’t help the way I look at Y/N. She really is an angel sent down from heaven, disguised as a college student, and I’m just lucky enough to be her friend.

     I’m blind to her flaws. When I see her, I feel like a tourist glancing at the Mona Lisa, memorizing every curve of her face, the way her hair falls around her shoulders, and the way the library lighting reflects off of her glowing skin.

     What felt like a sledgehammer breaking a slab of fragile glass, I see Y/N’s phone light up. Even across the table I can read the word “Lafayette” off of her phone. I can’t lie, it surely sounds familiar.

     When she finally noticed her phone flash on, I feel her ease turn into worry, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed by James, Angie, and I. She starts to pack away her books

“My bad guys, I really gotta go”

     Y/N said notably panicking. Her phone flashes once again, yet the only thing that seems to catch my eyes is the bold “7:30” spread across the top of her phone.

“Are you okay by yourself?” I asked, trying my best not to pry into her business

“Yeah, my roommates here to pick me up, I don’t want to make him wait” she tried to play it off, but I’m learning to see right through her

“Alright, see you next time Y/N” I shrug it off

     She sends my friends and I a quick smile before replying

“for sure”

     Angelica and James got back to work without saying a word, and I could tell they were waiting until she was gone to start teasing me. I eased back into my chair before flipping the pages of my notebook

     I watched as she shoved open the library door and disappeared into the darkness. She’s such a mystery, when I feel like she’s opening up, she just shuts the door and we’re back at square one. Though I do claim to love a good challenge, Y/N L/N, I will never understand you.

—-

     And that’s when it started. It wasn’t just one time where 7:30 was Y/N magic number, oh no, it was oddly consistent. I’m convinced that Y/N is some variation of Cinderella; her polite attitude and the beautiful little things she does without acknowledging it all vanish when the clock strikes 8:00, but that’s just one of many theories made by James.

     Another study session with James and Angelica, and Y/N’s flashing screen still compelled Y/N to leave the library without a trace. On some occasions we don’t even notice her escape, we just turn to see her seat empty and feel the faint wind from outside as the library door slowly closes.

     One day Angie bought us all tickets to see the preview to the newest, scariest movie I’ve ever watched. I was accompanied by Y/N, James, and Angie, yet their presences made it worse. Halfway through the bucket of popcorn and the movie, Y/N suddenly stood up and left after saying those 5 words. Before she left, I felt the warmth of her hands leave the place on my arm.

I never knew how addicting her warmth would be until it was already gone.

“Sorry guys, I gotta go” The weak smile on her face instantly resonated feelings of sympathy and understanding.

     From then on, Y/N and I grew closer as friends. We’d fool around at a local park before heading to campus, obviously sparking a few observations and remarks from James. I’d invite her to fancy dinners, or maybe even a small festival down the road from my apartment, yet her response would always be proven false at the moment she’d leave me and my thoughts at 7:30.

     But that hasn’t stopped me from attempting to hang out with her. Even on the days I wouldn’t have class with her we’d go out and get ice cream, study at the park, I guess you can say we’ve gone on a few ‘dates’ since our initial study session.

     Whenever we’re apart, I can feel every second expanding to its maximum capacity of time. I wouldn’t see her for a day and it will already feel like years since I’ve seen her. The days I do see her, time seems to maneuver a little too fast. When I recall hanging out with Y/N, all I can imagine is the feeling of floating above the clouds every time she and I made physical contact. Like a rock being dropped into still water, ever touch ripples throughout my body, sending shivers down my spine.

Truly incredible.

—-

     She doesn’t like to talk about her personal life, and I find that quite odd. I’m usually one to continue rambling every detail of every trait of mine, yet I find myself yearning to learn more about her. 

     We text every now and then when we’re outside of class, a little more to be considered ‘just friends’. There’s always a story which unravels just a little more of Y/N’s past, and she’s left me on my own to connect the dots. I must say, she’s definitely an interesting gal, but I know there’s more to discover. 

     She’s a native New Yorker, born and raised, surviving by splitting an intense rent with her mysterious room mate. Y/N doesn’t talk much of her family, other than faint memories of her mother single handedly raising her and her little brother, who I’m fairly unaware of.

     Going into college undecided, Y/N describes her want to learn more about herself before she’s able to make any life determining choices. I’ve noticed that her schedule seems like a labyrinth avoiding life problems and obstacles, so perhaps being placed in the same class coincidentally was just fate playing its part.

     Y/N loves to explain her dream for workless weekends, moments in the week where she just gets to sit back, close her eyes, and breathe a little. With finals starting to appear from thin air, I can’t blame her for a dream so far from reality.

     Even with the knowledge I hold of her, something never seems to change: her disappearances at 7:30.

It’s always that damn 7:30.

     7:30--the cliffhanger your favorite show leaves you desiring for more

     the end of a fun night of laughter and glee, wishing it lasted just a little longer 

     the off-set energy in a room when those around you know something you don’t. 

     As days, weeks, and months pass since my first text proposal to hang out at the library, Y/N and I become a little closer than just friends. It’s been obvious, especially to James and Angie, that Y/N is more than capable of holding my attention.

     Though James is worried that Y/N will just become ‘another girl’ to me, concerning my tomcat nature in the past, he can see the potential I see in her. I find myself wishing I did spend more time with her, maybe I just need to make a better effort.

     I’ll prove James and Angie wrong. 

     Filled with determination and confidence, in the midst of my silent room, I whip out my phone and direct my attention towards forming a text message for Y/N

Thomas: let’s get coffee sometime?

     Jefferson charm, don’t fail me now.

---

     Before I knew it, Y/N and I were feasting on exotic cheeses and aged wine in my New York apartment. I hit play on a random romcom which helps to fill the emptiness in my apartment and ironically the thin space between Y/N and I. 

     I have no idea how to make my move. Though I’m not aware of my competition, I imagine if Y/N could attract someone of My caliber, I should be well aware of the things she’s capable of. Originally I planned to court her-- I know, I know, I’m a man of tradition--yet after James caught on to my recognizable frustration, He suggested I go for it. 

     This is surprising on multiple occasions, especially since James possesses the ‘brains’ between the both of us. Being the chess club champion, ‘talk’ won’t aid you when you're struggling in a chess match. Just like how he meticulously plays chess, he examines my situation and provides his Virginian insight, or so he prefers to call it, and they always proceed the way his scheme describes. 

     I’ve adhered his advice to my life ever since we were kids, and when I didn’t, he’d simply reply with: 

“I told you so” 

     His smug smirk accompanied with a finger pointing to his temple would soon transform from clever to annoying. 

     I feel a vibration come from my pocket. Well, of course it’s not Y/N texting so must I really answer it? I pull out my phone despite my doubts and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

James: 👍

Speak of the Devil.

     But enough about James. I understand that both Y/N and I are mature college students, yet I still fear the disruption in our friendship I can provoke just by making my move. I’ve gotten this far; If she wasn’t interesting I’m sure she would’ve rejected me sooner. 

     She’s different, she’s unique, something about her that I just can’t place, but also something missing. Anyway, this is probably my best chance at shooting my shot at Y/N, and it’s too late now to back down. 

     As my lips part in an attempt to speak and make a move, Y/N’s motionless phone (currently laying undisturbed on my coffee table) suddenly brightens with the most obnoxious ringtone I’ve ever heard. The words “It’s 7:30!” flash on her screen, almost as if it was warning her rather than reminding her. 

“Y/N—” my eyes follow her body as she swiftly stands up

“I gotta g—” I watch as she attempts to grab her purse, yet her body is limited when I firmly grab her arm. She looks back to me with tiredness in her eyes.

     Part of me thought maybe, just maybe, Cinderella here wouldn’t have a curfew. That I somehow would be the exemption to this consistent confusion . But you can only daydream so far into the day until you’re pulled back into your reality

     Her entire demeanor seems like it was reconstructed after her alarm went off. Moments ago she was just enjoying tasty cheese and cheesy movies, and the worst part is, I have no idea why.

“Let me speak, darlin’”

     I stand up to avoid the way her eyes look down on me. I can’t stand that pitiful glare; she looks at me as if I’m a child incapable of understanding her situation, but she’s too stubborn to let me know. I’d be wise to use this time to make a move on different circumstances.

“Now, you’re always leaving at seven thirty..”

     Her sigh is almost enough to interrupt me

“..why’s that? Talk to me.”

     I maintain my eye contact before it’s abruptly broken. She looks everywhere but my eyes, and I wonder where in my apartment she would find an excuse, yet still manages to dodge the question.

“..you wouldn’t understand..” she scoffs almost intentionally, honestly scratching a part of my ego. I hate to admit she’s right, I really don’t understand what’s going on.

     I cock my head to the side. Where’s this coming from?

“Darlin’, I’m sure I’m a very understanding person—”

“—I need to leave”

     I could tell by the look of her face that she wasn’t trying to argue, but it’s inevitable.

“Why can’t you just tell me?..” I put my hands up as a sign of defeat, but I’m not giving up yet. “We’ve been friends for a while and you’re always leavin’ at seven—”

“I know! I know..” she removes my hand from her arm, clearly refusing to look up at me.

“Let’s just say..I got a job..?”

     Oh. That’s what this is all about? A job? She couldn’t spare at least an explanation for a part time gig?

“See? That wasn’t so hard”

“It’s..really embarrassing..” The glance she takes around the room makes me wonder if she’s really telling the truth. it’s not really my place to speculate, there’s no going back from this.

“It’s alright, it’s just a job after all” I claim, trying to get this conversation back on track

“This is exactly what I meant but ‘you wouldn’t understand’”

Huh?

“You don’t know what it feels like to have your life rely on minimum wage—” she sounds like she’s holding something back.

“Y/N wher—”

“A-and here you are makin’ me late for work” her eyes appear on the verge of crying.

“darlin’ look..”

“God, you’ve never had to work for anything in your life!”

Silence.

     Both of us refuse to speak. Y/N phone, still on the table, chimes again. “7:35” it said on its bright screen.

“Is that really how you feel?..” I take a step back to give her space. She still refuses to look at me.

     There’s no way she’d cause all this chaos just because of a job. And even if she believes I’ve piggy backed off of my name for my entire life, why would it matter to her?

“I..I should leave” before I could process what just happened, she swiftly tosses her phone into her bag and heads for the door.

“Y’know, I had a nice time..” was all I heard before the harsh shutting of my apartment door.

     And that was the end of it.

     My first thought after the door shut wasn’t to whip out my phone and attempt to text her, it certainly wasn’t to call James and inform him of his miscalculation, but instead to attend to the matter at hand. This cheese and wine won’t clean itself.

     And the night continued normally, as if nothing had ever taken place. I couldn’t help but microwave another cup of Mac and cheese to cope with what Y/N said. Nothin’ like a good meal to divert your attention away from your problems. But even a good cup of cheese and pasta can’t stop me from thinking’: 

Is that all I am to her?

A southern snob incapable of functioning without their father’s last name?

     After an introspective shower, and a few episodes of a random Netflix show, I’m finally alone with my thoughts and feelings. I lie in darkness, tussling and turning at every occasion, unable to extract her words from my mind. 

     If there’s someone whose opinion I care about the most, it’s Y/N L/N. I consider texting her at this very moment, yet I’m sure that I’m the last person she wants to talk to. The weight of my actions falls heavily onto my shoulders every minute, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Give her space, Jefferson, and maybe you’ll be able to fix this tragedy. 

---

Knock! Knock! Knock!

     The knocks on my apartment door were enough to jerk my body back to consciousness. Sadly pulled from the warmth of my dreams, I’m hit with the cold, noisy reality of an average night here in New York.

Can my day get any worse?

     Coming straight from the depths of slumber, I take a few minutes to process reality. Maybe the knocks were in my head. Did I dream about someone knocking on my door? Perhaps it’s

The sun’s still not up yet, why am I?

     Groggily sitting up, I decide to check the time, yet it takes me multiple attempts to grab my phone in the dark before I catch a sight of the time.

2 am?!

     Who is so out of their minds so show up to my apartment at this time? Who do I know that would show up at this time?

James is too sensible for that,

Angie would never waste her time on me, for whatever reason,

And Y/N—

well.

I don’t know our circumstances right now.

     I debate whether or not I should answer the door. Perhaps it’s just rock that happened to hit the door of my apartment, and even if it is a person, I’m not aware of anyone so mad to show up in the middle of the night. it’s not worth my time.  

...

...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

     So much for ‘Not worth my time’. A groan is all my body can respond with while I gradually stand from the comfort of my bed. I grab the nearest shirt, which was draped over my desk chair, and scramble to put it on. Passing my cramped kitchen, my hands subconsciously flip on the nearest light switches, while my eyes struggle to comprehend the sudden light. 

     Before I reach the door, I couldn’t help but attempt to fix my hair. Just because someone happens to show up outside unannounced doesn’t mean I can’t present my best rendition of a southern gentleman. 

     And finally, through my fatigue and irritation, I’m finally urged to grab the doorknob and twist it open in one motion. 

“Uh, it’s two a.m. so I hope--” 

     I nervously scratch the back of my head, attempting to add spice to this awkward encounter. It wasn’t until my eyes caught sight of the blood dripping down her glass skin and the meeting of our eyes did I have any words

“Y/N?!?”  

     Her cold, pale, and hurt body would’ve hit the concrete floor if I had answered the door any later.

--- 

     And there she layed half colorless on my bed. Her smile was full of embarrassment and gratitude as I sat beside her, tending to the evident cuts and Injured areas of her body. “I hope I’m being a great house guest” she joked, causing her to laugh, yet hurting herself in the process. 

“Hey, Hey, Take it easy..” Y/N’s presence usually fills me with carefreeness, or perhaps stability, but for the first time I can’t help but react seriously. Her demeanor changed as she saw my retaliation to her joke. 

“I guess…” she looked down to her fragile body, a sigh released, seeming to be an attempt to calm down. “...I owe you an explanation for earlier. And especially for showing up at your place at 2 in the damn morning. ” 

     Thomas’ hands, full of wipes and hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton balls, froze in their tracks before he looked up at her, eager to listen and visibly confused. Y/N visibly winced as the cotton balls stuck to her cuts for longer than they should’ve, yet with Thomas’ reflexes at their all-time-max, he pulled them away with a worried expression.

“Explanation? You said you got a job, and I’m sorry for not respecting it..” I continued to clean her up, consensually of course, how could I call myself a gentleman if I were to act upon improper motives? 

“Again..” I utter quietly “..I didn’t know you felt that way, and I’m ashamed you feel that way” 

     I attach an ivory-colored band aid to her glass skin, careful not to damage it any further. I look up to her watching, pitiful eyes. “You were saying?” I reciprocate the attention to her, awaiting a so-called answer to come out of her mouth 

“I didn’t know where else to run to..” she attempted to sit up, lifting her weight off of my satin-covered sheets, yet quickly stopped when being hit with a wave of pain from her right shoulder 

     Though my first thought would’ve been ‘Damn it, my darn sheets are ruined’, it was quickly drawn to Y/N and her current problem 

“Y’know, I think an apology and explanation can wait, Y/N. you need a little sleep, it’s already three in the mornin’ for god’s sake” a small laugh erupts from her

    I sent her an assuring smile, trying to remind her that everything is always going to be okay in a Jefferson household. And surprisingly I received a smile in return, a smile of trust and security that I’ve never felt so glad to see. Of course, I wish I could’ve seen that smile under different circumstances, but I’ll work with what I got. 

     I stood from my beautiful satin sheets and reached for a hoodie on my swivel chair. (everything but your closet is a closet, change my mind) I braced for a cold night on my apartment couch while Y/N enjoys the warmth of my bed, but Y/N had other plans. 

“Wait- Thomas.” She said firmly 

     I turned tiredly to her direction, my arm already extended for the door, yet frozen in place as I awaited a response 

“Can you just..” she scoot herself over, as much as possible with her frail body “..hold me?” She watches me anxiously 

“I mean— you don’t have to b—” I didn’t hesitate at all to gently slide under the sheets of the bed. As soon as I turn to her direction, I can’t help but feel scared to touch her in fear of hurting her; my hands don’t know where to reside. “Where do I..” I’m truly perplexed 

     She giggled at my confusion and shyly grabbed my hand “I’m not so fragile you know” 

     She brought my hand up to the side of her head, and all I could process was the texture of the bandages under my fingertips. I don’t know what's going on, but I couldn’t just leave her out there. 

“..Right..” I wait for her eyes to close before I can even think about closing mine, and soon the texture of the bandages seem to melt onto my fingertips as I’m finally able to return to my slumber. 

“See you in the mornin’..” 

---

     I didn’t wake up until I felt the sun rays kissing my back through my so-called ‘blackout curtains’. Such a scam. The room seemed a little too quiet; I gently turned onto my other side just to find an empty bed. I consider the possibility of last night’s encounter with Y/N was all just some messed up dream, but when I saw the faint stains of blood on my sheets, I knew I was far from dreaming. 

     My body doesn’t want to move, and I’m stuck sitting up in my bed for another ten minutes. What the heck is going on? One minute she yells at me, then next thing I know she’s outside my apartment at 2 am. 

And that explanation. 

     I guess I was such a fool to think she wouldn’t continue to run away from this matter. My thoughts are interrupted by my buzzing phone. I know for sure that it’s not Y/N hittin up my phone right about now. 

James: Let’s try that new coffee place a few blocks from your apartment? 

     He really read my mind, or maybe it’s a response made from calculating my failure yesterday. But a distraction sounds tremendous. 

Thomas: bet. 

     I throw on a cleaner, more professional jacket, if such a thing exists, and swiftly get my feet out the door. Everything seems the same, as if nothing had taken place last night. The world still spins and I’m expected to spin with it. 

I don’t think I’m anywhere near capable of unraveling your mystery. 

Y/N L/N, I will never understand you.

[o-fantome]

Hamilton Musical Essay

First off, I want to say that if you like the musical, that’s fine. I’m not trying to tell you not to like it. I’m simply expressing my thoughts about it.

Secondly, this is mostly about things the musical got wrong, but there is definitely going to be some bias and opinions in here. So don’t take anything I say (unless I have provided a source) as fact.

Now, let's go through this show one song at a time.

(quick warning, this post is long. very long. and will take a while to read. i apologize in advance)

ACT I

Alexander Hamilton

I don't have much of a problem with this song, and it is pretty good. However, I do wish that they hadn’t glossed over his early years. I get that they were not that interesting, but they played such a big part in his life, especially in his later years when he was in politics. 

“Me? I loved him” haha no. that line should have been said by Eliza and Laurens. Not Eliza, Angelica and Maria/Peggy.

Aaron Burr, Sir

Oh boy, oh boy, I have quite a bit to say about this one.

I strongly dislike the portrayal of Burr throughout the whole show. I get what LMM was going for with the whole “it’s how history sees him” but, you could’ve given him a bit more character. 

Burr singing “Fools that run their mouths off wind up dead” and then Laurens walking out immediately after is clever, because Laurens really was a fool who ran his mouth off quite a lot. Like the time he yelled at the king of France, King Louis XVI.

There's the obvious mistake that Hamilton met John Laurens, Hercules Mulligan and the Marquis de Lafayette at completely different times. He didn’t even meet burr in 1776 as we see here. He met burr in 1772-1773 when Hamilton briefly went to Princeton.

Laurens, Mulligan and Lafayette have very little character (which is something a lot of the people in this show struggle with.) for people who were pretty close to Hamilton, (especially Laurens) they don't seem like they were written to be very important characters. Their personality in this show can be summed up in a sentence.

And there's the other obvious mistake that Lafayette (and probably Laurens as well) never met Mulligan.

My Shot

The foreshadowing is good, I'll give it that.

For some reason, the chemistry between Lafayette and Mulligan-- who, again, never actually met-- is better than the chemistry between Hamilton and Laurens. What's up with that, huh?

“Wait ‘til I sally in on a stallion with the first black battalion” Laurens never got his black battalion. Congress approved the plan, but the South Carolina Legislative Assembly did not.

“Laurens, I like you a lot” get outta here with that crap. Either make their relationship a bigger part in the musical or keep it out completely. I hate how subtle and glossed over their relationship is in this show.

I do like Laurens’ little part in this song, it’s a rare part of the show where we see his actual personality instead of just “grr slavery bad alcohol good.” Anthony Ramos is a very good singer.

This song is pretty good story-wise. It is very well written. Hamilton’s monologue is surprisingly accurate to the real Alexander Hamilton and his beliefs.

The Story of Tonight

It has a good vibe, and I think it’s the closest we see Laurens and Hamilton throughout the entire show, which is kinda nice.

Again with the Lafayette-Mulligan thing LMM why???

The Schuyler Sisters

LMM unintentionally created a monster when he wrote that “and Peggy” line. That joke is one of the most overused and unfunny jokes in this show and its fandom.

Having Angelica be the “strong woman” in the show was a good idea on paper, but it’s not all that accurate to the real Angelica Schuyler, and it’s like her only personality trait (aside from the whole Hamilton and Angelica thing but I’ll talk more on that later)

I'm gonna say this a lot but oh my god these people have no character to them. Not even Eliza Schuyler-- Hamilton’s frickin wife.

Listen ok I am strictly attracted to men but Phillipa Soo is an absolutely beautiful and amazing and talented person. She has full permission to step on me.

Farmer Refuted

The farmer refuted was a pamphlet published by Hamilton in 1775 in response to something Samuel Seabury wrote about how the congress in Philadelphia was bad. Not an actual public debate like you see in the show. But I’ll let this one slide because having the actors read pamphlets onstage would be a lot less entertaining.

That’s pretty much it the song isn’t that interesting.

You’ll Be Back

This is probably just me but I don’t like how King George III steaks the show and is the main source of comedy. When I asked family members after their first viewing of the show who their favourite character was, almost all of them said the King. 

Mr. Groff, please keep your spit to yourself.

As far as my knowledge of King George III goes-- and I do not know a lot about him so don’t take this too seriously-- this song is a pretty accurate depiction of ‘The Mad King.’

Redcoat Interlude

Just gonna put this here to say The Bullet is a really cool character.

Right Hand Man

Chris Jackson has the voice of an angel.

I don’t like the way Washington is characterized. At some points, he’s over-glorified, but at other parts of the show, he’s downplayed a lot, and it doesn’t at all seem like the real George Washington.

Washington and Hamilton’s relationship in this show is so off from what it would’ve been historically. You don’t see it much in this song so I won’t say much here for the sake of keeping things organized, but I’ll discuss it later when it’s more obvious

Mulligan is shown in a continental uniform, yet he was not in the army. He was a spy. He wouldn’t have worn a uniform.

As with a lot of songs in this show, the music and choreography are amazing. The ensemble is so so talented. 

This scene where Burr is meeting with Washington isn’t entirely wrong, but it’s not exactly how it happened. According to Wikipedia, “In the spring of 1776, Burr's stepbrother Matthias Ogden helped him to secure a position with George Washington's staff in Manhattan, but he quit on June 26 to be on the battlefield.”

Hamilton did not meet Washington at the same time as Burr. He joined Washington’s staff in the spring of 1777.

I’m not exactly sure what he’s referring to when he says “I have some friends, Laurens, Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette” but I do know that Laurens and Lafayette were not his friends at this point. They weren’t even in America at the time. Mulligan was, and he was good friends with Hamilton.

A Winter’s Ball

The formatting here is wild. This happened in 1780, I don’t know why LMM skipped ahead to this.

“We’re reliable with the ladies” ok that is true I’ll admit.

What is Laurens doing here? He was a prisoner of war in Phillidelphia when Hamilton met Eliza.

Helpless

Eliza was not “helpless.” If anything, Hamilton was the one head-over-heels for her. 

Hamilton. Was. Not. Into. Angelica. Angelica. Was. Not. Into. Hamilton. 

Hamilton’s little speech to Eliza after he gains her father’s blessing is kinda cute and pretty accurate.

A lot of the people shown in this scene were not at Hamilton’s wedding. 

Laurens is shown as Hamilton’s best man, but at the time of Hamilton’s wedding, he was travelling north to meet with Washington after finding out he is to be sent on a diplomatic mission to France. James McHenry, a fellow Aide-De-Camp to Washington, was Hamilton’s best man.

Satisfied

I hate how this is such a good song because what it’s about is probably my least favourite part of this show.

There is no evidence of Angelica being romantically attracted to Hamilton. They likely had a brother-sister kind of bond.

Now, having Angelica as the side love interest wouldn’t have been that bad if it was a real thing, but it wasn’t. LMM intentionally re-wrote a part of history to have her in it, when he could’ve kept the same storyline, and have Laurens be the side love interest. If he had given Laurens that role, he could’ve made the show more historically accurate, and it would bring to light a part of history many people try to erase. But in giving Angelica that role, he has not only completely changed a part in history but has also erased the fact that Alexander Hamilton-- nor John Laurens, for that matter-- was straight. LMM had so much power. He was writing a musical about a founding father. He could have brought so many things we didn’t know to light. And yet, we’re stuck with this.

Angelica was not the person who introduced Hamilton to Angelica. It was most likely Cathrine “Kitty” Livingston, a friend and possible love interest to Hamilton that he met before he joined the army.

Angelica had brothers. 

The Story of Tonight (Reprise)

“I’ve seen wonders great and small” *gestures down* I’m sorry sir what?

They were all married before Hamilton. 

Wait For It

This is a beautiful song and it doesn’t have much wrong with it. 

Stay Alive

Sweet lord the timeline is terrible. The battle of Monmouth happened in 1778 before Hamilton got married.

Here is a better example of the strange portrayal of Washington and Hamilton. The real Washington wouldn’t have called Hamilton “son.” He wouldn’t be as friendly with him. Their relationship was professional.

Mulligan was already in new york, so he wouldn’t have to “go back to new york and [his] apprenticeship.”

“Instead of me, he promotes Charles Lee” Hamilton did not ask for a command at Monmouth. What happened was Lee was given a command, declined, and then it was given instead to Lafayette. Later, Lee requested the command be given back to him because Lafayette was very young and didn’t have much experience. Washinton blindly trusted Lee and agreed to give it back to him.

After Lee was court-martialed, he kept running his mouth and slandering Washington. Hamilton originally wanted to duel lee, but Laurens told him not to, and to just let him say what he wants. Later, after Lee kept running his mouth and the insults got worse, Laurens decided to duel him. 

Washington didn’t know of the duel. He didn’t even know it happened until the day after.  

Ten Duel Commandments

Hamilton was not the one who was super giddy and impatient for the duel to start, he was kinda the opposite. Laurens was the one who challenged Lee and was the trigger happy one. 

Burr was not Lee’s second, Evan Edwards was.

Again, Hamilton was not as enthusiastic as shown here. He was the one who tried to call off the duel and actually prevented Laurens and Lee from firing a second time.

Meet Me Inside

Laurens was not satisfied after he shot Lee, and demanded them to shoot again.

Washington saying “these young men don’t speak for me” isn’t that far off from how he reacted, but we can’t be 100% sure because there’s not a lot that was documented about his reaction to the duel.

Washinton was more upset with Laurens for holding a duel in his honour. So he wouldn’t have lectured Hamilton as he does in this scene.

As I said before, Washington would not be calling Hamilton “son”.

I really wish LMM wrote this scene differently because it’s entirely wrong. Hamilton didn’t leave the army until March of 1781, after being so fed up with Washington continuously denying him a command. 

“Charles Lee, Thomas Conway, these men take your name and they rake it through the mud” that is true, and he’s referring to the Conway Cabal. More info on the Conway Cabal can be found here if you’re interested.

The timeline is so confusing here. “Your wife needs you alive” technically, at the time of the duel he didn’t have a wife, but by the time he left Washington’s staff he did. But in the show, I'm assuming this scene takes place in 1778, so, historically, no wife yet. But in the show, he also gets married before this scene. So I don’t know what’s going on here. 

That Would Be Enough

For the sake of simplicity and not driving myself to insanity, I’m just gonna assume this takes place in 1781. Because I don’t want to try and figure out the timeline.

Eliza was not a month pregnant yet, in fact, she wasn’t pregnant at all at the time. Hamilton went home in march 1781, and their first son Philip was born in January of the next year. Doing the math, Eliza wasn’t pregnant until May 1781.

This song is actually really sweet aww.

Guns and Ships

Ah, the timeline finally smooths out.

Lafayette wasn’t really a “secret weapon,” he was just a General

Nevermind the timeline is messed up again. “I go to France for more funds” he did that in 1779, and he went back to France on leave, apparently missing home. He ended up working with Benjamin Franklin to send more troops and ships to America.

I wish Laurens was mentioned here. He went on a diplomatic mission to France in February and convinced the french congress to gift America 6 million livres.

Lafayette was not the one to tell Washington he needed Hamilton to come back. What happened was in July after he left, Hamilton sent a letter to Washington threatening to resign his commission. Washinton panicked and sent Tench Tilghman-- a fellow Aide-de-Camp beside Hamilton-- to go to the house Hamilton rented with Eliza to tell him to come back to the army and that Washington will give him a command. 

You can see in this scene Lafayette running with a letter, but he was not the person who did that. It was Tilghman.

History Has Its Eyes On You

I can’t think of anything wrong with this song, it’s pretty spot-on and sounds beautiful.

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)

“We’ll be with you when you do,” ehehe no they were not. The Americans did almost nothing to help France during the French Revolution.

“Take the bullets out your gun” was actually something Hamilton did with his battalion when they were sneaking through the trenches on their way to attack Redoubt 10.

Laurens was not in South Carolina, he was at Yorktown-- fighting under Hamilton’s command-- after just returning from his diplomatic mission to France. 

Lafayette was not “there waiting in Chesapeake bay,” he was with the other french troops attacking Redoubt 9.

Again, Mulligan would not have been in uniform.

Mulligan might have “taken their measurements, information” but he sure didn’t “smuggle it.” That was done by his slave, Cato. He and Mulligan were working with the Sons of Liberty and with Hamilton’s spy ring-- of which we do not know the name of-- and smuggled intelligence to General Washington.

The instrumentals and the choreography make me very happy. I really enjoy the short little instrumental break.

The siege of Yorktown lasted three weeks, not just one.

They act like this was the end of the war. It most certainly was not. The war didn’t officially end until 1783 with the signing of the Treaty of Paris. Yorktown was the last major battle of the war, but not just the last.

What comes Next

I’m very picky about this but I don’t like the king purely because I feel like he steals the show and is the automatic favourite.

Dear Theodosia

Philip Hamilton was born a year before Theodosia Burr.

I don’t know much about Burr, but I can say that Hamilton really did love his kids and his family, and I'm upset that we don’t see that in the show. At least we see a bit of it in this song.

Laurens Interlude (Tomorrow There’ll Be More of Us)

“It’s from John Laurens. I’ll read it later.” This makes me sad because the last letter sent between these two was sent from Hamilton on August 15th (and most likely never reached Laurens before his death,) so Hamilton was probably expecting the letter Eliza brings him to be a reply.

We don’t know exactly how Hamilton learned of Laurens’ death, but we do know it was not from a letter from Henry Laurens (John Laurens’ Father.) He most likely learned of Laurens’ death from either Washington or General Greene.

I find it a bit odd that Laurens sings the line “and when our children tell our story” because he never met his daughter, he left his pregnant wife in England (she moved to France a few years later)  to sail to America to join the revolution, and never visited them (not even when he was in France for his diplomatic mission.) But I get it, it’s a reprise of “The Story of Tonight.”

The war was not over, but it was close.

“His dream of freedom for these men dies with him.” Yep. Unfortunately, he never got the black battalion he worked so hard for.

I hate how fast it moves from this emotional scene, where Hamilton learns of the death of his closest friend-- the man he loved-- to “after the war I went back to new york” like geez, LMM. give the man some time to grieve.

Non-Stop

The trial of Levi Weeks didn’t happen until 1800.

There is no record of this midnight meeting of Burr and Hamilton.

Burr didn’t actually support the constitution.

Angelica was married long before this, so I don’t know why it’s just being brought up now-- oh wait. LMM is back on his hamgelica bullcrap.

John Jay got sick after writing four, came back to write the fifth, then got sick again and ditched Hamilton and James Madison. 

Hamilton did not write all 51 essays on his own, he collaborated on a few with Madison.

Hamilton was not immediately offered the position of Treasury Secretary. It was first offered to Madison, who declined, and then it was offered to Hamilton.

Most of the time, Hamilton was upset that he had to leave his family for work and wrote them often when he was away. From this point onward in the show, Hamilton’s character and personality are getting more and more inaccurate. He was not the selfish, self-centred man we see in the show. In reality, he was a kind man who loved his family but oftentimes made bad decisions due to his bad habit of acting without thought or planning.

ACT II

What’d I Miss

Daveed Diggs is cool, but I don’t understand why so many straight girls are so obsessed with him.

“Pissed him off until we had a two-party system” that’s pretty much true and it’s stupid.

He was in Paris for 5 years. It's not that long.

The “Sally be a lamb” line makes me so upset because it is so disrespectful to Sally Hemmings. I wish LMM left her out completely.

“I am to be the secretary of state, great!” Jefferson was not very happy about being appointed to the secretary of state because he wanted to stay at Monticello and do his own thing.

“I can’t believe that we are free” it’s ironic that Jefferson of all people says that line.

Mr. Madison, that’s not very COVID friendly of you.

Jefferson knew Hamilton for a bit before he went to France, and they did get along outside of politics.

Cabinet Battle #1

I hate how cocky and self-centred Jefferson is here because 1) it’s annoying as hell, and 2) the real Thomas Jefferson was not. He was quiet and shy.

“Imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whiskey.” funny you should say that, Mr. Jefferson. Neither Jefferson nor Madison were not involved with the whiskey rebellion. They were silent on the issue because they made a deal with Hamilton (which I will talk more about in a few songs.) However, Hamilton-- the guy Jefferson is talking to in this scene-- was involved in the whiskey rebellion. He doesn’t have to “Imagine what gon’ happen,” he was there. More info on the whiskey tax and rebellion can be found here.

“We almost died in a trench, while you were off getting high with the french” Jefferson wasn’t in France during the war.

I’m glad the topic of slavery is being brought up, but it could’ve done in a different way instead of just a clap back in a rap battle.

“Madison, you mad as a hatter, son take your medicine” Hamilton is such a hypocrite here. Did he forget the time he almost died of a fever when he was 10? Or when he almost died of a fever in Albany in 1778? Or the fact that on multiple occasions he overworked himself so hard that he got sick? Or his kidney problems? Or-- 

“You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes!” Jefferson and Madison literally helped him get the votes. (again, I’ll explain later.)

“Well, James Madison won’t talk to me.” He used to. A lot. Hamilton and Madison used to be really good friends until Jefferson returned from France and Madison drifted to his side.

Take a Break 

I don’t know how long her trip lasted, but I doubt that Angelica was with Eliza and the kids on their trip upstate. She came to visit in 1789, and the Reynolds affair started in 1791. However, I have no concrete evidence that she left before the affair started, so maybe she was there. I don’t know.

Ah yes, Alexander “I Don’t Care About My Family” Hamilton. 

“I have a sister but I want a little brother” by 1791 (when this scene takes place using Philip’s age as a reference) Phillip had 2 brothers already. 

While the Schuyler Mansion is near a park, there’s no lake. Today, at least. There’s a swimming pool though.

“I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase,” shut up shut up shut up.

“With a comma after “dearest,” you’ve written: “My dearest, Angelica”” I hate how obsessed LMM is with this stupid comma, yet doesn’t say anything about the multiple suggestive and romantic letter between Laurens and Hamilton.

Speaking of the comma situation, it was meant as a joke. What had happened was Angelica sent a letter to Hamilton with “my dearest, Alexander '' and put the comma by mistake. She just slipped up with her grammar. And in response, Hamilton wrote “my dearest, Angelica” as a joke to tease her about it. It’s not romantic. It was meant. As. A. Joke.

John Adams was vice president. I'd say that’s a real job.

Angelica, stop being all “I came all this way :((“ he doesn’t want to miss out on the trip, but he has to. If he had a choice he would definitely go with his family.

Say No To This

I hate how this song demonizes Mary Lewis (more commonly known as Maria Reynolds) like she was trying to get out of an abusive marriage??? And Hamilton was like “oof that sux wanna bang?”

The heterosexual energy in this scene overwhelms me (/j)

The first letter (that I have found) from James Reynolds to Hamilton was sent on December 15, 1791, so not “a month into this endeavour.”

I will note here that in the letter mentioned above, it sounds nothing like what we hear in the song. Which makes me question if the above letter is even the one Hamilton the musical is talking about.

Because of limited information, I cannot say whether this scene is accurate or not.

“I don’t know about any letter!” she most certainly did. Mary and Reynolds both sent letters to Hamilton concerning the affair.

The Room Where It Happens

This is the song I was talking about when I said I’d talk more about the deal between Jefferson and Madison and Hamilton.

Washington was the one who proposed that this dinner happen.

Clermont street was renamed Mercer street in 1799, the dinner table bargain (what this song is about) was in 1790. Before the Hamilton-Reynolds affair. Yet another wrinkle in the timeline.

“Now how you gonna get your debt plan through?” “I guess I’m gonna finally have to listen to you” well, Hamilton didn’t really “talk less, smile more” his way through the issue. He did-- as he usually does-- quite a lot of talking

“Well, hate the sin, love the sinner” doesn’t sit right with me because it is sometimes used as a homophobic remark.

Jefferson’s account of the bargain on the assumption and residence bills is what this scene is about.

Madison did not hate Hamilton until Jefferson returned from France.

Leslie Odom Jr. is so, so talented.

There is nothing to suggest that Burr wanted to be there. I don’t even think he knew it happened. 

Schuyler Defeated

Not much to say here, it's a short and forgettable song.

Cabinet Battle #2

I don’t like how much Jefferson says “we.” He wasn’t there. He wasn’t a soldier.

“Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty” Hamilton was known for his colourful clothes, while Jefferson was known for dressing sloppily.

“Lafayette’s a smart man, he’ll be fine.” yeah, uh, he was imprisoned in Austria at the time… 

���You’re nothing without Washington behind you.” Hamilton was a very powerful man. One of the most powerful, next to Washington. Even with Washington gone, he still held a lot of power and was pretty well-known.

Washington On Your Side

“Thanks to Hamilton, our cabinet’s fractured into factions.” Hamilton is probably one of the biggest reasons the two-party system exists, but Jefferson did play a role as well. To put it simply, Hamilton and the federalists disagreed so much with Jefferson and the democratic-republicans that everything just got split in two.

“And dresses like the pits of fashion” look at the point from the above song.

“Somebody gives me some dirt on this vacuous mass” it really wasn’t that hard to find dirt on Hamilton. He had a controversial past, and could sometimes be a really shady guy. However, it was all for-- at least in his own head-- good reason.

Because of how close Hamilton and Washington were, Hamilton had a lot of power, and Washington backed him up quite a lot.

James Madison gets so little lines in this show, and it makes me kind of upset. Hamilton and Madison were pretty close friends for a few years, so I don’t know why LMM didn’t talk at all about that.

“This immigrant isn’t somebody we chose” yes, but Washington chose him. Don’t like him? take it up with Washington.

One Last Time

Jefferson did not step “down so he can run for president,” he stepped down to go home. To relax at his mansion, to get away from politics. He stepped down in 1793 and didn’t run for president until 1796.

This song is actually really good, and pretty accurate. And good lord Chris Jackson can sing. Gives me chills every time.

I Know Him

Adams did know King George III. and from what I have read, he was very nervous to meet him.

“That’s that little guy who spoke to me” of course he’s little to the king, the king was like 6’6”.

The Adams Administration

The Adams Pamphlet was published in 1800.

The new york post wasn’t founded until 1801, so I find it odd that they’re bringing it up in this song, in 1797.

Adams did not fire Hamilton, he stepped down on his own in 1795. 

Hamilton’s response to Adams’ taunts hurt Hamilton’s reputation a lot more than it hurt Adams’.

We Know

This takes place in 1792 before Adams was president.

Jefferson, Madison and Burr were not the people to confront Hamilton. It was James Monroe, Frederick Muhlenberg, and Abraham Venable.

The whole situation with the speculation of embezzled funds is pretty off from what we see here. What happened was James Reynolds embezzled $500 and tried to get his way out of imprisonment by saying he had dirt on Hamilton. Monroe, Muhlenberg, and Venable went to Hamilton and Hamilton explained “no, I didn’t embezzle government money, I just got my dick sucked.”

“Yes, I have reasons for shame,” yeah you think?

Hurricane

The workshop version is better, and it has Laurens in it.

The Reynolds Pamphlet

Gotta give Hamilton credit for not publishing this until after William S. Hamilton was born and then waiting for the stress of a new baby to be gone. Y’know at least he’s considerate.

Eliza was only gone for the summer of ‘91, so I don’t know why everyone’s acting like she was gone the whole time. 

Hamilton didn’t even want to be a president, and never showed any interest in the position. 

Angelica was already in America at the time, she didn’t just travel because of the affair.

The king has no reason to be here. I get that he’s the comedic relief, but this isn’t a scene where comedic relief is needed. It’s a serious situation.

“His poor wife” yeah, but have you ever stopped to think about what Mary Lewis is going through?

Burn

“You have ruined our lives.” The ‘our’ is referring to Eliza and Mary Lewis.

Blow Us All Away

George Eaker said many bad things about Hamilton in a fourth of July public speech, but Philip Hamilton didn’t meet him and challenge him to the duel until late November of 1801.

Speaking of 1801, this happens way after the Reynolds affair and the election of 1800. 

Hamilton didn’t know that the duel happened. Philip lied and told his father that it had been resolved. Hamilton later found out that it happened when John B. Church and a few others told him after it happened that Philip was shot and dying.

“Everything is legal in New Jersey.” duelling was illegal in some form or another in every state, but the punishment was less severe in New Jersey.

The guns Philip (and his father 3 years later) used in the duel belonged to John B. Church. They were not Hamilton’s guns.

Eaker didn’t shoot on 7. They both counted to 10 and stood still for an awkward minute before Philip raised his gun to fire into the air, and Eacker got scared that Philip would shoot him and shot Philip.

Stay Alive (Reprise)

When Hamilton arrived at the home of dr. David Hosack (the doctor treating Philip) he reportedly fainted from anxiety.

Eliza’s scream should have been Angelica Hamilton, as she had a mental breakdown after the death of her brother, and was arguably (out of the rest of her siblings) the most hurt by his death.

It’s Quiet Uptown

Hamilton was really hurt by the death of his son. It was probably what broke him the most out of every death he’s seen in his life-- and he’s seen a lot.

“I take the children to church on Sunday,” after Philip’s death, Hamilton and his family became a lot more religious.

“His hair has gone grey,” there is a portrait of Hamilton shortly after his son’s death, and he looks like he’s aged 10 years. He looks old and sad and in grief. It barely looks like him. 

Eliza would have forgiven Hamilton at this point. She forgave him not too long after the Reynolds pamphlet was published.

The Election of 1800

This happened before Philip’s duel, but you already knew that.

“I’m going door-to-door.” “You’re openly campaigning?” “Sure!” Burr was the first presidential candidate to openly campaign and set the standard for modern American politics.

They were tied for a stupidly long time. And when they finally got untied (by Hamilton and the federalists’ promotions and persuasion) it was by just a few votes. Not “in a landslide.”

Burr did end up being Jefferson’s vice-president. Jefferson didn’t change that.

Your Obedient Servant

This is a situation, much like the Reynolds affair, where no one is in the “right” or the “wrong.” Was it wrong for Burr to shoot Hamilton? Yes, absolutely. Was it wrong for Hamilton to say bad things about Burr and constantly keep him away from what he wanted? Yes, absolutely. But on the other side, was it wrong for Burr to be mad about what Hamilton did? No, he had every right to be angry. Was it wrong for Hamilton to speak his mind? No, freedom of speech and all that. It’s a very fuzzy situation and that’s partly why it’s unclear what exactly happened on the duelling ground.

While Burr’s loss of the elections was a reason for his duel with Hamilton, it was not the main reason. There were a bunch of little things that led up to this. A question I’ve been asked before (quite a few times, honestly) is “if Burr won the election/if Hamilton promoted Burr, would the duel still have happened?” and in my opinion, I think it still would have happened, it would have probably just happened later. Because the duel wasn’t the “breaking point” for Burr, it was just one of those little things that led to it.

Also while I’m on the topic of the election, it happened a few years before the duel. The election of 1800 was on March 4, 1801 (yes, 1801. It was tied for a very long time.) The duel was on July 11, 1804. So not directly afterward.

“Just to keep me from winning.” it is true that Hamilton did not trust Burr to be in power, and did everything he could to stop him.

The workshop version is cooler and more accurate. (if LMM had just kept the workshop version and what was in it I probably wouldn’t be writing TBH)

“I am not the reason no one trusts you,” in a way, yes, Hamilton is the reason no one trusts Burr. Hamilton had a lot of power and a lot of people listened to him. A good example of this would be his role during John Adams’ presidency. Hamilton constantly whispered into Adams’ cabinet members’ ears and basically told them what to do. And they believed him, and did what he said.

“Even if I said what you think I said, you would need to cite a more specific grievance. Here’s an itemized list of 30 years of disagreements.” Hamilton and Burr argued so much and Hamilton said so many bad things about him that when Burr asked him to admit to saying these things Hamilton essentially said “yeah well I’ve said a lot about you so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific because I don’t know which time you’re referring to.”

Best of Wives, Best of Women

The title (and the line in the song) are a reference to this letter. 

Hamilton was not with his wife the night before the duel. He was at a house he had rented in new york city that he stayed in sometimes while away for work. A few of his older sons were with him, though, including John C. Hamilton, who was interviewed many years later and gave a retelling of what happened the night before. You can read it here.

The World Was Wide Enough

“A doctor that he knew” was David Hosak, the same doctor who treated Philip after his duel just 3 years earlier.

“Now, I didn’t know this at the time but we were near the same spot your son died,” I’m fairly sure he knew, Philip’s duel was a pretty big thing and a lot of people knew.

“My fellow soldiers tell you I’m a terrible shot.” Burr was actually a very good shot. There’s even an account of him doing target practice a few days before the duel.

“But look it up, Hamilton was wearing his glasses,” Hamilton put on his glasses because he was old, and had bad vision from his years of service in the revolution, and from how hard he worked. Fun fact, he was facing the rising sun, which meant the sun glared off his glasses, rendering him unable to see clearly. He wouldn’t have been able to shoot Burr if he tried.

“This man will not make an orphan of my daughter.” Burr’s daughter, Theodosia, was 22 and married. I’m sure she would be fine. On the other hand, Hamilton’s kids were very young. The oldest, Angelica, was only 19, and the youngest, Philip II, was only 2. These kids all needed a father figure in their life, but apparently, Burr didn’t consider that.

In the lines "Laurens leads a soldiers’ chorus on the other side / My son is on the other side, he's with my mother on the other side / Washington is watching from the other side," it seems like they’re being listed in a very particular order but I’m not sure what it means or why they’re in that order.

Hamilton quotes Laurens’ lines right before he dies and it makes me think of a conversation I had with a friend. She was telling me about how for some time after Laurens’ death, Hamilton didn’t really speak that much in congress and such. At first, I thought “oh it’s because he’s dealing with the death of his closest friend and possible romantic partner,” but then my friend explained that that’s not why he was quiet. It’s because when Laurens was in South Carolina, trying to convince the house of representatives to give him his black battalion, he didn’t talk that much. He waited for everyone else to talk, and then he jumped in and talked. That’s why Hamilton was silent for a lot of the time. He was doing what Laurens did. He was quoting Laurens.

“They row him back across the Hudson, I get a drink.” After shooting Hamilton, Burr went to his cousin’s house as if nothing had happened.

Burr showed seemingly no regret for shooting Hamilton, and even bragged and joked about it for years after.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

“Every other founding father’s story gets told,” it really is kinda sad how little people know about Hamilton. He’s not taught about in school. He wasn’t a president.

I do wish that the musical talked a bit more about Hamilton’s kids and their contribution to keeping Hamilton's story alive. Especially John C. who went through all of his father’s papers and wrote the first biography on him. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

I really wish the Laurens-Hamilton relationship was a bigger part of the show.

The actors are amazing, but the people they play have little to no character/personality, and it kinda brings the actors down.

I love Phillipa soo.

There are so many inaccuracies that could have been easily avoided, and I genuinely don’t understand why LMM did some of the things he did. Like there was no reason to make Angelica the love interest. Absolutely no reason. And yet, here we are.

Hamilton, the musical was a great way to make more people interested in history, but unfortunately because of how wrong the show is, a lot of people who gain an interest in history from it think that it’s 100% right and treat it like a documentary. I would know, I became interested in American history because of the musical and I didn’t know how many things were wrong or left out until recently. 

The workshop version was better and more accurate. 

And that’s it! I’d like to give a big thanks to my friends who helped me, especially my friend Mary. 

[jade-doodles-questionmark]

On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza

Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.

there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.

it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.

More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:

Angelica:

what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.

In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part). 

Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander. 

I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.

I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).

She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.

Alexander:

I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.

I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.

To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.

Eliza:

Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”. 

ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either. 

The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more. 

i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all. 

unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol. 

side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.

Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks! 

if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit

[angelqueen04]

Hamliza Month, Day 28

@megpeggs​ @historysalt​

Stars Piano Summary: Alexander plots a surprise for Eliza. He even has coconspirators.

The music filled the room with such richness and zeal, they could have been sitting in a grand theatre instead of just their small parlor. The musician’s hands danced over the keys, light as air. The music was laid out before her, with her brother dutifully turning the pages for her, but Alexander knew that she had no need of them. This was a piece that she knew by heart.

Alexander closed his own eyes, letting the music wash over him and sooth his many cares and stresses away. There were really only two ways for him to do that. The first was this, listening to his dearest little Angelica – who, at fifteen, reminded him often that she was not so little anymore – play with all the grace of an angel. Her piano was among her greatest joys, and had been since the day it had arrived, a gift from her aunt and namesake sent all the way from London.

The second, of course, was to lay quietly with his Eliza, his head upon her bosom as she ran her fingers through his hair and over his temples. The mere thought of that brought a smile to his lips.

When the song at last came to an end, the final note fading out into silence, Alexander opened his eyes and brought his hands up to applaud. “Brava,” he said with genuine enthusiasm. “That was absolutely beautiful, my darling girl.”

Angelica turned from the piano, a bright, winsome grin on her face. “Thank you, Papa!” she replied. “I heard from Mr. Amadeus that he is expecting a new shipment of music in one of his next shipments from Venice…” She trailed off, her expression perfectly calm, as though she had just imparted some interesting tidbit of news.

Alexander met Philip’s expressive gaze over Angelica’s shoulder, and his eldest son broke into a knowing grin, unable to hide his amusement. Alexander kept his face straight, hiding his own merriment. Philip would never be a good card player. He was never one to hide his feelings or thoughts.

“I see,” he said thoughtfully. “Well, I’m sure that is a great comfort to Mr. Amadeus. Did you not say he was most distraught that his supply of sheet music was woefully low, and he feared running out completely before winter?”

Angelica’s expression did not waver, and Alexander did not look away, though inwardly he laughed. Playing this game was rather fun, trying not to be the first one to break.

The silence stretched on for several long moments, until finally it was Philip who broke it. “Oh for goodness sake, Papa! She wants some pocket money so she can be first in line to dig through the new sheet music when it arrives!” He then turned his gaze toward Angelica, who had turned in her seat to face him, and demanded, “Was all of that really necessary? You could have just asked him!”

Angelica’s back was now to Alexander, but he could well guess that she was rolling her eyes at Philip’s impatience. He also gave his son a chiding look. If Philip hoped to make a living as a lawyer and a man of government, he would have to learn when to hold himself still, when to have patience. Goodness knows, it was a hard lesson Alexander had had to learn himself, but surely he had never been so impatient as his firstborn?

Anything else that might have been said was forgotten when the front door of the house swept open and loud, laughing voices spilled into the front hall. He turned to look through to the front hall and saw the rest of his children tumble through the front door. James and Johnny had their arms full of parcels, and were clearly eager to relieve themselves of their burden. Alex was also carrying a few packages, in addition to having William riding on his back. Eliza was the last one to enter the house, her reticule in one hand and little Liza held securely in her other arm.

“Take them into the kitchen and lay them on the table for Mrs. Georges,” Eliza was telling their sons. “And do so neatly!” she added as they began to move toward the kitchen at the back of the house. “I do not want to hear of anything dropping or being broken this time!”

As Eliza dropped her reticule on a nearby hall table and began the struggle of removing her coat without overly disturbing their youngest, an idea began to grow in Alexander’s mind. A grin spread across his face, and he turned to Angelica. “I shall make a deal with you, my dear,” he told her. “You may have your pocket money in advance, but only if you and Philip do something for me.”

She cocked her head, eyeing him curiously. “What is that?” At the same time, Philip threw his hands up, asking, “Why am I getting roped into this?” A raised eyebrow from both Angelica and Alexander himself made him surrender and go quiet.

What he wanted was simple enough, hardly any kind of real challenge, and so she accepted when he hurriedly explained. Philip, resigned to his own involvement, uttered no further reluctance on his part. That settled, Alexander stood up from his chair and left the parlor. Eliza was still struggling with her coat, as Liza was not in mood that was agreeable to cooperating with her mother. She clung to her with all the stubbornness a Hamilton and a Schuyler could exhibit.

And so young too! Alexander thought. Chuckling, he came closer and asked, “What is this, my darling? A rather large burr seems to have stuck itself to you.”

Eliza gave him a look mixed with exasperation and resignation. Leaning forward, he lightly tapped the toddler on the nose. “Hello there, poppet,” he said, and then held out his hands to her invitingly. “Come to Papa?”

Liza, just over a year old, eyed him with her mother’s dark eyes, a suspicious glint in them, and kept her firm grip upon her mother. Alexander bit back a laugh. “Come on,” he coaxed, “Papa has missed his little Betsey.”

The little girl waited several more beats before she finally deigned to permit herself to be passed from one parent to the other. All the imperiousness of a queen, this one, Alexander thought, no longer bothering to hide his smile. He held her close, covering her face in playful, sloppy kisses, which made her lapse into delighted giggles.

Freed of her youngest child’s clingy hands, Eliza at last removed her coat and hung it beside the door. Running her hands along her hair to swipe back a few stray strands, Eliza asked, “I assume supper is on schedule?”

Alexander nodded. “Mrs. Georges has everything in hand.” Just then the sound of footsteps alerted him to the return of their sons. “And it sounds as though she has already banished everyone and their greedy fingers from her domain.”

The boys then reappeared, most with sulky or disappointed expressions. Clearly, Mrs. Georges had not been inclined to indulge them with sweets so close to their meal.

Eliza soon gave everyone their marching orders to go and wash up for supper. As Philip and Angelica came out of the parlor, Philip gave his father a mischievous grin and a wink while Angelica looked positively thrilled to be taking part in Alexander’s little plan.

Alexander returned the smile before following the rest of the family upstairs, little Liza still on his hip. There was much to do and little time to accomplish it.

-----

It was becoming quite late when Eliza stepped out of the nursery some hours later, satisfied that Liza was safely asleep. The upstairs hallway was quite dim, but candlelight flickered underneath the closed door to the boys’ chamber. Taking a deep breath, she began to approach the door, intending to remind Johnny – for she had no doubt that it was dear Johnny – that it was time he put his book aside and went to bed.

“Mama?”

Eliza stopped and turned to find Philip standing at the stop of the stairs. “Yes, dear?”

He took a step forward and then gestured behind him. “Papa asked for you to come downstairs,” he told her. His gaze shifted to the door behind her and he rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell Johnny to go to bed,” Philip assured her, coming closer and moving to slip past her.

“Did your father say what he wanted?” she asked him. “And why has Angelica not come up yet?” She had not heard her eldest girl retire to her own room.

Philip stopped and glanced over his shoulder at her. Even in the darkness, Eliza could see the shiftiness of his expression. “Oh, um, she’s helping Papa with something.”

“And just what, Philip Hamilton, is your sister assisting your father with?” Eliza asked, her voice low and stern. She was not blind. She had seen the conspiratorial whispers that had been going on throughout supper between her husband and two oldest children. They had been up to something, but Eliza had not been able to discover what, having been occupied with the rest of the family’s doings.

Her eldest son was eighteen years old, considered by society a man grown, but Philip was still her son. He still snapped to attention when his mother used that sort of tone of voice. “I, uh,” he stuttered, “I really couldn’t say, Mama. I think it has to do with whatever Papa wanted you to come downstairs for.” Before she could question him further, Philip threw open the door to the large room he shared with his brothers, hurried inside, and slammed the door shut again. Behind it, she could hear him snap, “Blow out the damn candle, Johnny!”

Eliza would have scolded Philip for using such language toward his brother, but her mind was already turning toward what was happening downstairs with her husband and son. Sighing, she turned on her heel and swept down the hallway, making for the stairs.

As she descended, she saw that the front hall was still well-lit by several candles, and she could see a similar glow coming from the parlor. “Alexander?” Eliza called out as she stepped onto the landing.

“In here, dearest,” Alexander responded from the parlor. Eliza stepped into the parlor doorway and her eyes widened as she peered into the room.

The sofa, chairs, and tables had all been pushed from their normal places throughout the room to stand against the wall, leaving the center of the room completely clear. Alexander stood there in that vast empty space, facing her with a beautiful smile on his face.

“Come, my love,” he said, his voice soft as he held out his hand to her.

“Alexander?” she asked even as she walked forward to meet him. As she approached, music filled the room and Eliza’s eyes flew to the piano over by the window. There sat Angelica, her back to them both, her fingers dancing over the keys as she began to play a familiar tune.

The Allemande.[1]

“May I have this dance?” Alexander asked her, his hand still poised in front of him.

Eliza gawked at him. “You…” she trailed off, her eyes sweeping around the room. “You did this so we could dance?” she inquired.

He beamed. “Clever, isn’t it?” He was clearly very proud of himself.

She continued to stare at him, at his sunny, cheerful smile, and Eliza could feel herself melting. How was it that he could still make her fall in love with him anew even after nearly twenty years of marriage? Eliza huffed a small laugh, and without further hesitation, she laid her hand in his.

They had plenty of room to move in the parlor, and they were well-practiced in their movements, having performed this dance many times over the years. Eliza always felt lighter than air whenever she danced with Alexander, and as they held each other’s gazes, she could almost feel the years falling away, and they might well have been two young people again, dancing for the first time in an assembly in the midst of an army camp.[2]

The mix of fond memories, a loving present Eliza would not exchange for any other life, and Angelica’s sublime musical skill all made for a perfect evening.

-----

[1] An 18th century dance. I found a demonstration of it on YouTube and it looked so lovely and thought it would be perfect for Alexander and Eliza’s little surprise date night, as assisted by the amazing, talented Angelica.

[2] See Day 18: First.

  This ficlet was written by request of one of my reviewers on AO3, who wanted to see something that featured Angelica Hamilton. I wasn’t all that attached to the story idea I initially had for this day, so this was slipped in instead. I felt it only fair, since little Eliza Hamilton also had a chapter featuring her (and she also insisted on making a small cameo in this one too, the adorable little tyrant), and the boys too had had their moment earlier on. Now all the only one left is Little Phil. *shifty eyes*

[maybedefinitely404]

The Boy who Sings Next Door, Pt 1

Genre: just-out-of-college AU

Pairings: Pre-romantic/romantic Prinxiety, pre-romantic Logicality

Content: general anxiety/allusions to past panic attacks, (it’s Virgil, c’mon), food mentions, a lil yappy puppy, Hamilton songs (it’s Roman, c’mon), just the boys being super gay. 

Word count: 2.6k

Comments: I’ve been in a bit of a funk (not the good kind of funk) recently, and this is the only thing I’ve been able to churn out during it. It will have a part two, don’t worry. Gotta get that good Prinxiety content.

Comments (the sequel): This took almost a week to write due to said funk, so I apologize for any inconsistency that appears. I have edited this as much as my brain let me, so it should be good.

Virgil hadn’t lived there for long. In fact, it was just nearing the one month anniversary of the day his two roommates and him had moved into the townhouse complex on the grungier side of town. They were still getting to know the house; the basement Virgil swore was haunted, the crudely attached cabinets that Patton very nearly pulled down every time the shorter man had to climb the counter to reach the top shelf, and especially the upstairs bathroom’s shower that would become scalding hot if someone flushed a toilet while it was running. Janus’ shriek was something Virgil wished he could have recorded on camera. 

Meeting his new neighbours was still a fear he had to get over. Patton had already introduced himself to all of them (on the first day living there, with cookies, nonetheless), and was eagerly awaiting the day when Virgil would give the ‘okay’ to invite some of them over for dinner. He was especially excited about the man who lived to their left, a professor at the university across town that Patton claimed he had clicked with.

“A professor? How old is he?”

“He looked like he was our age!”

“A professor who’s twenty two?”

“Well… maybe he’s really smart! Or has a great skincare routine!”

Despite Patton’s obvious infatuations with the guy, Virgil was hesitant to meet him. He’d already had a less than promising accidental run in with the old man living on their right, incited by Janus parking in the wrong spot and poor Virgil being the one to open the door to the screaming neighbor. It had taken him twenty minutes to calm down from that panic attack. But after too many rounds of Patton’s puppy eyes, Virgil gave in. 

“Only the one guy though, and I get to have a code word in case I need to leave.”

“Okay! What’s the code word?”

“I don’t know. You pick.”

“Tiddylicious?”

“SHUT THE HELL UP, JANUS!”

Surprisingly, Virgil didn’t have to use the code word (which was not tiddylicious). Logan was a pretty great guy, if slightly lacking in the ‘emoting’ department. Patton and him got on like fire in a library, and his roommates happy wiggles the whole night was probably what gave the anxious man the bravado to stick through it. Janus even had the decency to make some honest conversation, which was a first for him. Logan eventually mentioned the fact that he had a dog, and the conversation immediately derailed into Patton squealing over the pictures he showed him. They took this as the opportunity to sneak away from the two, giving them the space they obviously needed. Gross. 

There was a line stretching across Logan’s backyard; a red cable that connected to his deck and reached to the fence on the opposite side. From this cord hung a pink leash, and to this pink leash, Logan attached his dog several times a day. Virgil didn’t know what the signal was for them, but every couple of hours, the sliding door would screech open and the dog would run to the gate closing off the porch, waiting impatiently until Logan clipped on the leash and let it run onto the lawn. The first time the small dog saw Virgil on his phone in the shade of his roof, it immediately took this as a grave act of terrorism and began to yap so loud that Virgil screamed. Logan quickly came back out, explaining that while his pup may have the intimidation factor of a stuffed animal, she thought all the grass of her yard and of the adjoining houses was hers to protect, even if the terrier was just about the size of a decent Thanksgiving turkey. A few head scratches later, and the two decently bonded, enough that she wouldn’t throw a hissy fit every time he sat on his porch.

That’s where he was now, half asleep in a lawn chair with one earbud in, when the tell tale squeak of Logan’s sliding door startled him from his rest. He reached up lazily and popped out his music, smiling slightly at the prospect of another conversation with Logan. Despite their age difference (it wasn’t all that much, but just enough that he got confused stares from the elder when he mentioned the prospect of ‘stealing someone’s kneecaps’), they were starting to become good friends. His hand froze, however, as he heard a voice that was very much not Logan’s coming from the man’s deck.

“Dear Alexander, 

I am slow to anger,

But I, tow the line,

As I reckon with the offense of your,

Life on mine.”

And if Virgil said he didn’t immediately feel butterflies at the soft lilting of the deep voice, he would be lying. He shrunk back into his shirt, hoping the other wouldn’t glance over the short bush between them and see his blushing face. Even if he wasn’t infatuated with whoever was letting Logan’s dog out, it wasn’t like him to try and meet someone new.

The screen door shut with a loud whap and the dog pulled at the red cord as hard as she possibly could, trying to get free pets from Virgil. He obliged, but made sure to duck back to his side as soon as the door reopened. 

“Raise a glass to freedom,

Something they can never take away,

No matter what they tell you.”

He lurched back into his own house at the sound of that gorgeous voice, slamming the sliding door and consequently scaring the hell out of Patton.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“What’s gotten you in such a hullabaloo?” Patton squinted from his table of crafting supplies, where it looked like he was putting together more pages for his scrapbook.

“I’m gay.”

“Ah,” The older man scrunched his eyebrows together, setting down his glue stick, “For Logan…?”

“No! Logan’s yours, don’t worry,” he ignored Patton’s indignant spluttering and blushing, satisfied that he wasn’t the only disaster gay in the room now, “Someone else is at his house.”

“Someone cute?” He was suddenly very interested in his book, trying to hide his red cheeks.

“I don’t know.”

“Then why are you in gay mode?”

“His voice.”

“His voice?”

“Quit laughing at me!” Virgil snarled non aggressively, refusing to meet Patton’s bright eyes.

“I’m not, I swear!” Patton giggled nonetheless, “It’s cute! I’ll have to hear it for myself sometime.” Virgil huffed, despite his growing smile, and went to his room, too overwhelmed to wait outside for the voice again, no matter how much his heart wanted to.

A couple days later, Patton showed up in his open doorway (it was his attempt to be less antisocial, and it made his housemates happy) grinning like a child who’d just gotten a puppy.

“I just talked to Logan-”

“Oh?” Virgil smirked, closing his laptop in favor of tea.

“Oh, shush. He just said during the summer, he has these fancy shmancy teaching seminars every weekend just out of town.”

“So?”

“Sooo…” Patton wiggled a little, sticking his tongue between his teeth, “When he’s not home, his brother watches Gremmy!”

“Gremmy?”

“How do you not know the puppy’s name? And also, you’re focusing on the wrong part of the sentence! His brother is going to be there every weekend, all summer!” 

Virgil tried to digest the butterflies that exploded in his gut, failing to hide his reappearing blush. “So? We don’t even know if he’s our age, or if he’s into guys.”

Patton dropped his gaze, sucking his lips into his mouth in a vain attempt to smother his smile. 

“Patton?”

“He’s our age and he’s into guys,” He squeaked. 

“You asked?!”

“It came up naturally!”

“How?!”

“Not important!” He was full on beaming now, hopping on his toes. “You should totally talk to him next weekend!”

“No. Nope. Not happening.”

The following Friday, Virgil found himself sitting on his deck under the roof, scrolling aimlessly through Tumblr, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he happened to see a new car pull into Logan’s spot thirty minutes after the man left. Nothing like that at all. He sipped absentmindedly on the lemonade Patton had brought him with a cheeky look on his face, trying not to think about the fact that the angel voiced man was right next door. And his heart absolutely did not begin to pound when the tell tale screeching of the screen door sounded.

This time, music accompanied the man’s singing as he hooked the dog, Gremmy, onto her leash.

“Angelica,

Eliza,

And Peggy,

The Schuyler sisters,

Angelica (Peggy) Eliza (Work!)”

Even if Virgil had only heard his voice once, it seemed fitting that he was trying to sing every part, altering slightly to nail the voice changes of every character. He curled up a little more in his chair as the man followed Gremmy out onto the lawn, music still pumping from his phone.

“Daddy said to be home by sundown,

Daddy doesn’t need to know,

Daddy said not to go downtown,

Like I said, you’re free to go.”

Virgil couldn’t breathe, but that was the heat’s fault. It definitely wasn’t caused by the gorgeous man now dancing in small circles on the grass, dog jumping at his feet as he laughed along to the music. The sudden warmth in his face was caused by the sun, not the toned muscle of the man’s arms, or the way his much too loose muscle tee showed off his tan, or how his light brown hair flopped over his eyes when he bent down to pick up a stick from the ground. All while singing; just carelessly enjoying himself. 

“Angelica, remind me what we’re looking for?

(She’s looking for me!)

Eliza, I’m looking for a mind at work (work),

I’m looking for a mind at work (work),

I’m looking for a mind at work (work),

Woah, woah, woah, woah, work!”

The harmonies were too much, his voice flawlessly adding a fourth harmony where there wasn’t in the song. Virgil jumped like a spooked cat, fleeing into the house and drawing the curtains shut hurriedly. He knew the other man had probably heard the door slam, but that wasn’t his main concern right now. 

“Gay panic?” 

Virgil spun around to see Janus, all too bemused, sipping Gatorade out of a wine glass. The man’s sense of class would not be affected by the time of day. “Gay panic,” He confirmed weakly, sliding down the wall, “He’s hot.”

“Let me see.”

“Janus, no, what are you doing?!” 

The taller man pulled the curtain aside, humming under his breath. “Oh yeah, he is hot.”

“Jan, stop!” He hissed, trying to tug Janus’ arm down from the curtain without being seen.

“Oh, he’s waving at me.”

“WHAT?!”

“Can I wave back?”

“NO!” 

Janus waved back, kicking Virgil lightly out of sight. “Let go of my sleeve, fucker.”

Virgil did, booking it upstairs as soon as Janus dropped the curtain. He flopped onto his bed with a groan that was almost loud enough to be a shriek, swearing to himself to not go outside for the rest of the weekend. And to kill Janus later. He did leave his window open though, but not because he wanted to keep hearing the snippets of song that floated up to his room every time the sliding glass next door opened. Not at all. 

Virgil hated that he ended up counting down the days until Friday, and that he couldn’t tear himself away from the window until he arrived. Responding to his housemates giggles and stares with a quick flip of the bird, he took his usual spot on the deck. Because the weather was nice, and he needs a tan. No other reason. Not that he would say out loud, anyways.

He didn’t have to wait long until the door scratched open and a calm, almost haunting melody reached his ears. He’s singing along to a track again, mixing in harmonies that send shivers up Virgil’s spine.

“I saved every letter you wrote me,

From the moment I read them I knew you were mine,

You said you were mine,

I thought you were- Shit, Gremmy, no, get back here!”

Virgil jolted upright as twenty pounds of fluff landed in his chest, paws digging into his sternum. The dog looked up at him with, dare he say, smug eyes? He ran a hand through the fur on her back, holding her collar with one hand in case she decided to bolt again.

“I am so sorry! She wormed out of the gate before I got the leash on her!”

He looked up from the dog and holy hell oh my god he’s way hotter up close. Never before in his life had he wished for Patton’s bubbliness or Janus’ general aloofness, but now he would rather have any personality trait besides anxious because oh god the hottest guy he’d ever met is staring at him and he has no idea what to say.

“Well, good thing she likes me, or you’d be down a dog.” What the hell was that?

Surprisingly, the other man laughed, folding his arms across his chest. “What, you don’t think I’d be able to catch her?”

“In all honesty, probably not.”

“How dare you!” He gasped, holding a hand to his chest dramatically, “I’ll have you know Gremmy loves me!”

“I’m sure that’s why she booked it as soon as she had the chance.” He extended the dog almost comically, her too short legs waving frantically in his grip. The man took her with a murmur of thanks, giving her a stern look that made Virgil snicker. A part of him was slightly shocked that someone related to Logan could be so… relaxed. The older man seemed held together purely by stress and logic, never without a collared shirt and tie, and he would definitely never be seen in the plain white v-neck this guy was wearing really well.

“So, you’re Logan’s brother?” Where the hell was this courage coming from?!

“Yup. You know him?” 

“About as well as I know any of my neighbors. So, barely. But he’s close with my roommate.”

The man’s expression turned to glee as he shifted the dog in his arms. She seemed unhappy being held when there were birds to be chased, but her struggle was lazy. “Patton, right? I’ve heard a lot about him.”

“Oh?”

He hummed happily, fiddling with Gremmy’s collar. “It’s about time Logan found someone who makes him happy. We never really understood each other when it comes to interacting with other people. He’s more secluded nerd, and I’m more…” He trailed off, waving his fingers under the dog cluelessly.

“More theatre nerd?” Virgil guessed, pleased with the way the man’s eyebrows flew up.

“How’d you guess that?”

“You’ve been singing a different Hamilton song every time you’ve taken the dog out.”

Instead of looking embarrassed or upset like Virgil would definitely be in his situation, he seemed to puff up more, almost delighted.

“Ah, I thought I had an audience! That was you?”

Virgil could feel his face turning beet red, much to his chagrin. This was it, this was the moment he died. Let the earth open up and swallow him whole, his little pride had been too wounded to continue. The man took his silence as answer enough, seemingly pleased with the reaction.

“I’m Roman,” The man grinned, holding out his hand. He took it hesitantly, the touch sending a shock up his spine that he was barely able to suppress.

“Virgil.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Virgil.”

He couldn’t help the authentic smile that tugged on his lips as they shook hands, Gremmy dangling from Roman’s other arm like a football.

“You too, Roman.”

[icequeenoriginal]

The Pain of Secrets

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be fluffy, that was my original intent. But then my brain decided to make it super angsty. So I apologize. Also, I am not transgender. I’m using the information I learned online as well as from what friends who are have told me. I hoped I portrayed a transgender person correctly. I meant to finish this before the end of pride month but writer’s block did not let that happen. Stay safe everyone.

Summary: Roman hates secrets and he hates keeping them, but he still has one. Is it worth keeping from Virgil?

Warning: Fear of Rejection, transphobia, self-hatred, internalized transphobia, keeping secrets, crying, running away, surgery mention, not taking care of yourself, anxiety, divorce mentioned, inappropriate touching, bad past relationship, hurt/comfort, roman angst, body image issues, bad binding practices, fear of breaking up (Let me know if I missed anything)

Pairing: Prinxiety 

~ Roman hated secrets. Even the word would cause him to have an icky feeling in his chest. To have secrets, you have to lie to the people you care about. Secrets were the reason his parents weren’t together. His mother kept her emotions and suspension secret while his father kept his intimate relationship with a young coworker a secret. 

At age 9, Roman swore to his grieving mother when he found her crying in the kitchen in the middle of the night when he could sleep. The smile on his mother’s face was enough to make him never want to break that promise. 

That only lasted a couple of months and it was all his stupid body’s fault. If he had just been born in the right body, it wouldn’t be an issue.

You see, Roman wasn’t born a boy. Everyone told him he was a girl because he looked like one, but he didn’t feel like it. He knew he wasn’t but he didn’t know why.

He learned about the word transgender when his uncle took to a very fun and colorful parade that summer after he made his promise. It would later be the first of many Prides he attended and where his uncle met his other future uncle.

It took a few days for him to muster up the courage to tell his mother but his drive to never have a secret was the final push he needed.

His mom accepted him, she got him on HRT and even bought him his first binder. Though, he did notice how there seemed to now be a distance between them. They did fewer things together, his mother slipped up with pronouns, and always seemed like she was herself back from saying something. 

But it was fine because at least there were no secrets between them. 

“Everything is fine.” Roman would say as he ignored how much that hurt him.

“This is fine,” Roman said to himself as he only applied to colleges out of state. He and his mom just needed some time apart.

“Everything is great,” He told his mom through tears caused by the stress of school and being on his own. 

“It’s okay,” said Roman when his first boyfriend told him he couldn’t be with a ‘fake man’ anymore after a couple of months of dating.

“It’s fine,” said Roman his second boyfriend angrily dumped him when he found out that Roman is trans. Roman didn’t blame him, he hadn’t told him right away as he did with his first boyfriend. This was his punishment for it.

It was really all fine. Roman didn’t mind being alone, he could handle it just fine. He was fine with always coming home to an empty apartment and an empty bed. A home without someone to hold him, kiss him, reassure him.

…

No, no he couldn’t. But he was a good actor and every good actor can lie to themselves.

He, at age 25, decided to put off dating until after he got his top and bottom surgery. It just seemed like the easiest option. His HRT did as much as it could but it couldn’t get rid of that feeling he had every time he looked into the mirror and touched his chest. It was one of the few things he had gotten straight from his mother.

After a late-night of research, he came up with a plan. To get both surgeries, he needs 20,000 dollars in total. Damn you America and your expensive medical costs! Well, there isn’t anything he can do other than every time he got paid, he saves all the extra money he had left after paying his bills and groceries. It wasn’t fun, there was time he wanted to buy that expensive tablet or go to that bar but he wouldn’t touch the money. Not until he had enough.

It was the perfect plan, in his opinion, but the universe was never on his side. He went to the library one day to borrow a book since that was a fun free thing to do, and he accidentally bumped into a young man. After a quick apology, Roman noticed the man was holding a large book of fairy tales. That led to a two-hour debate about the messages of fairy tales.

The man’s name is Virgil and Roman was sure at that moment he is his soulmate.

They spent more of their days texting one another whenever they could. Their first few dates would consist of free things like walking through the park or sitting together in the library. It was lovely. It’s why Roman figured he didn’t have to tell him that he was trans. It wasn’t like they were going to become more than friends. Roman figured this is how their relationship would stay, sweet and simple. That was perfectly fine with him.

Then Virgil invited to dinner to ask him to be his boyfriend. Virgil told him he had never asked anyone else out before but he felt such a strong connection with Roman. Everything about that moment was perfect, the restaurant, Virgil, the music, everything.

It wasn’t until he got home did Roman realize he still hadn’t told Virgil his secret. Roman cried himself to sleep that night. 

After that first date, Virgil seemed to only take him to movies or dinners. Places that cost money, money Roman did not have living paycheck to paycheck. Virgil had a high paying office job so he said he didn’t mind. Roman still, at least once a month, would use his grocery money to buy fancy ingredients to make Virgil dinner and eat ramen for the rest of the week. It was nice, Roman had almost forgotten what it was like to go out.

Roman loves Virgil, he told him on their 5th date. He loved him so much that every day he would want to tell him his secret but the fear of losing Virgil would take over and make him chicken out.

That led him to today, almost a year later, sitting in Virgil’s apartment where he was staring at Virgil as his past flashed in front of his eyes like he was Angelica Schuyler during Satisfied.

Why? Because Virgil was inviting him to go to the beach. A place where you wear a swimsuit. Pushing aside how much he hated how he looked in a bathing suit, that meant he had to take off his shirt.

He was so screwed.

A cold hand jolted him out his thoughts so quickly that a small yelp escapes Roman’s lips. Roman scared eyes lock with Virgil’s loving and concerned eyes. 

“Ro? What’s wrong? Do you not want to go?” Virgil asks softly, gently rubbing his knuckles

“No! I do! I do!” Roman replies quickly, a bit too quickly to alleviate Virgil’s concern.

“Ro, princey, you don’t have to agree just because I suggested it. We can do something else.”

Roman could have burst into tears at that moment. Virgil was just so good to him. He should take the way out, it would just make everything easier. He oh so wanted to but the nagging voice in the back of his head shouted at him that it was a trick, that Virgil was testing him, secretly questioning why Roman wouldn’t want to.

So, Roman shook his head, “I do want to Virgil, I-I just need to check when I can take off of work. You know how busy the restaurant business is during the summer.” Roman replies nervously.

Virgil sighs, “Alright, I believe you.” Virgil leans back against the couch, “You should quit that awful waiter job, they demand so many hours from you and barely pay you enough.”

Roman stares off into the distance before replying, “I wish I could quit too but I need the money and you know how hard it is to get a new job.” Especially if you’re trans.

Virgil nodded, knowing that he was very lucky to have the job that he did, all thanks to his friend Janus. Still, he hated how the light behind Roman’s eyes dim every day he is at that job and the physical strain it had on Roman’s gorgeous body. He wishes there was something he could do that wouldn’t seem like a handout. It would be too much of a blow to Roman’s pride.

Virgil smiles, he has a perfect idea. He turns to Roman and asks, “Roman, what would you think about--”

Roman whines in pain and Virgil’s eyes widen in fear. “Are you alright?!”

Roman nods and waves his hand dismissively. “Just chest--I mean stomach pains. I’ll be right back.” Roman runs off to the bathroom. As soon as he locks the door, Roman rips off his shirt and binder. He gasps, taking a deep breath of fresh air. 

He knows he shouldn’t be wearing his binder all day, he knows it is not healthy but he can’t help himself. He rather be what (he thinks) Virgil wants than be comfortable. 

Meanwhile, Virgil is frowning and whispers, “Hey Ro? Want to move in with me?”

Roman pants as he sits on the toilet. His chest was killing him but he could not care less. He took a painkiller from Virgil’s medicine cabinet. Swallowing it dry, he puts his binder and shirt back through the pain. He gets up and leans up against the wall to catch his breath.

“This is fine,” he mumbles to himself like he does every morning, “Everything is fine” ~

Two weeks had pasted and Roman still hadn’t given Virgil an answer. Virgil didn’t bring it up, he knew Roman would give him an answer when he was good and ready.

Roman was pacing, in a big shirt and boxers, with his phone in his hand, open on it was his bank account. 

Once he got home from Virgil’s apartment, he quickly checked how much money he had saved. He was surprised to see that he had $8,654 saved up. It had been a while since he last checked. He quickly called around to get top surgery that fit into his budget.

He had a new plan. He would get the surgery, he would go to the beach with Virgil about 3 weeks later, and Virgil would see his surgery scars. Then Roman tell him and they could figure it all out there. If Virgil broke up, 

No more avoiding it.

His phone began to vibrate and Roman vibrate and Roman quickly answers it, “Hello? Oh hi, Dr. Travis!”

This doctor had excellent reviews and she was to be trusted. One pleasant conversation later and Roman had an appointment set for a week later for $6,000 with insurance covering some of the cost. He also calls his job, who approves his two weeks of medical leave.

He squeals as soon as he hangs up, this was going to be wonderful. He had to celebrate.

So he calls Virgil, “Stormcloud?”

“Hey Ro, what’s up?” Roman smiles, “I have great news. Four weeks from Tuesday, I can spend the entire day at the beach with you.”

“Jeez, your job really won’t let you catch a break, can they?”

Roman chuckles, deciding it was best not to mention he was one of the last days off he had after the ones he is using for his appointments and recovery for this. “Well, in any case. I would like to see you before then. I’m working the early shift tomorrow so I’ll be done by 1.”

Roman could hear Virgil smiling on the other side of the line, “Well, you’re in luck Princey. I only have one big meeting after lunch tomorrow. How about we meet for lunch, I hide you in my office while I go to this meeting and then we can go back to my place at 5?” “That sounds perfectly wonderful.”

~

The lunch was nice. They went to a cheap sandwich shop that was close to Virgil’s work and had a small debate on whether or not putting mayo on Salami was a good or bad thing. 

Roman almost immediately regretted agreeing to sit in Virgil’s office. He sat silently, and almost immediately, chest started to ache. Even worse, Virgil’s office needed a key to get into, one that Virgil only had because it was his ID card. Something about security or whatever.

Roman sat in Virgil’s office chair for 3 hours, he kept time on his phone. The second Virgil opened the door, Roman practically threw himself into Virgil’s arms.

“Missed me?”

“Something like that.”

They took the subway home, and Virgil could almost immediately tell something was wrong. Roman seemed to keep fidgeting and had on a fake smile. Virgil contemplated saying something, but by the time his anxiety let him decide, the train had arrived at their stop.

Virgil figured Roman would tell him in due time. Right?

Once they arrive, Virgil sighs as he pulls off his tie. “I am going to take a shower, you can set up a movie or something.” Roman smiles and kisses Virgil, “Don’t be long.” “Excuse me princess, but you take over two hours in the showers, I will take all the time I want.” Roman laughs, “Touché, touché. Go on now. Hurry your cute butt back.” Roman gently pats Virgil’s butt to emphasize his point. Virgil sent him a playful glare and heads off to his bedroom. 

Roman smile drops and he immediately takes off his shirt and binder. He loudly gasps and rubs his chest to ease the pain in his chest. He sighs and stretches, Virgil usually takes 30 minutes in the shower, so he was going to give him a 30-minute break.

Or he was...until he turns and sees Virgil standing at the end of the living room where the hallway is attached. He, like Roman, did not have his shirt on. Neither his pants. 

Virgil opens and closes his mouth a few times before saying, “I forgot to mention, I-I-I have a bottle of wine.” He gestures vaguely to the kitchen,

Roman covers his chest with his arms, tears appearing quickly.

Virgil takes a step closer, “Ro...have you been...this whole time…?”

“I have to go,” Roman says as he runs to the door, shirt and binder in hand.

“Ro, wait--” Virgil makes a grab for Roman’s arm but misses as Roman runs out of the apartment. Virgil watches him go, knowing he shouldn’t run out in his boxers. He begins pacing, his nerves are on an all-time high, and he tries to steady his breathing so he can come up with a plan to talk to Roman.

Because they really, really, need to talk.

~ Roman didn’t stop running until he got home. Once he got in, thank goodness his keys were safely tucked into his pocket, he threw himself onto his bed and broken down. That had to be the most humiliating moment of his entire life. Virgil’s face had said it all, he was definitely breaking up with him. 

He sobs and sobs for what it seems like hours until he tires himself out. He walks up at 4 am to 10 miss calls and 30 texts from Virgil.

From: Stormcloud

Ro, please call me back.

Princey, let’s just talk, please.

Babe, please, let me know if you’re okay. 

I’m not mad. I just want to talk.

Roman. I’m not going to say what I have to say through text. Call me, please. 

Roman shuts off his phone. He can’t face Virgil right now. He can’t face anything right now. His only saving grace is that he has the night shift at work. He closes his eyes and had a restless sleep. 

His dreams were of Virgil walking farther and farther away from him. No matter how much Roman pleaded and begged for him to stay, Virgil just kept walking.

Once he walks up, he remembers reading somewhere that dreams tell the truth, and he knows his truth: Virgil does not want to be with him.

~

Roman ignores Virgil’s calls and texts between the Bad Day, as Roman dubbed it, and his surgery day. Though it started because Roman couldn’t face him, it then became just because of the surgery. 

Roman didn’t like his job, for the most part, but he did have a friend. His name is Patton and he is the nicest person Roman has ever known. Patton was one of the few people who knew Roman is trans and he is a bug supporter in Roman’s life. Patton let him cover all of his shifts so Roman wouldn’t lose money on his time off. He was exhausted from all the work, but the happiness of what is to come pushed him through it. He stopped checking his phone as often as he normally would, despite Patton pushing him to go talk to Virgil.

”It may bit be as bad as you think kiddo,” Patton would say, but Roman was not sure.

Anytime he wasn’t working, he was making trips to the grocery store for his treatment or moving everything off of high shelves since he is not allowed to stretch his arms.

His bottom drawers are filled with baby wipes, scar cream, and ice packs. He also bought big comfy sweaters and ice cream to keep himself comfy. 

Roman couldn’t sleep the day before the surgery. He felt every emotion attacking him at once. This was going to be one of the most important days of his life.

The surgery itself wasn’t as bad as he expected, though the anesthesia probably had something to do with it. He found out later he sang a love song to “a very lucky young man” through the 2 hours and 30 minutes. He was embarrassed, to say the least.

Finally came time to see the scars. He froze when the doctor told him. He was lucky to be facing away to the doctor. Could he do this? Would the scars look bad? Would this actually make him as happy as he hoping?

He let out a watery chuckle, he sounded like his boyfriend--his ex-boyfriend. Thinking of Virgil reminded him of all the breathing exercises he learned from Virgil.

He takes a deep breath for four seconds, holds it for seven seconds, and lets it out for eight seconds.

After doing it a few more times, he turns to the mirror. The tears are almost immediate. The scars were bright red but they were thin, as thin as his pointer finger. His chest was as flat as he hoped it would be. This is the happiest he has ever been.

He shakes Dr. Travis’s hand since he is unable to say words. Dr. Travis simply smiles at him and pats his back.

“Now sit down, I have to put the bandages on. Now, make sure to change them every day.” Dr. Travis says.

”Got it, thank you, doctor.” Roman says, managing to get his voice back.

”You’re welcome.” Dr. Travis replies as she gently wraps the bandages around his chest, ”Now, do you have someone coming to pick you up?”

”Yes, of course, as you told me to,” He wasn’t exactly lying, he was planning to call an Uber.

”Good, because all you have to worry about is recovering, okay?” she says with a smile.

Roman nods and soon after, Dr. Travis finishes putting on the bandages. He has to stay in the hospital for another hour to rest before he is properly discharged. He spends most of the hour taking a nap and only 15 minutes on the phone with Patton, which seems strange to him. Roman, once he is allowed to leave, puts on his red zip-up hoodie, ignoring the feeling of his heart pulling because he remembers Virgil buying it for him and heads out of the hospital. Dr. Travis gives him a treatment plan on the way out and Roman puts it into his pocket.

The Uber ride is pleasant enough, the driver lets him drift off in the backseat. He is woken up by the car jerking to a stop in front of his apartment building. He scrambles out of the car while apologizing to the driver. 

He runs up the stairs to his apartment, each step making him more tired and as each second passes, the painkiller wears off more and more.

He weakly smiles as his door, knowing that a few behind it is his bed that he can pass out in.

He opens the door and is so shocked to see Virgil behind it that he can’t bring himself to move. Virgil says nothing as he walks over to him. Virgil wraps his arms around Roman’s waist and moves him into the apartment.

Roman yelps and finds his legs walking up to move with Virgil, ”W-W-What are you doing here?”

Virgil whispers, ”We’ll talk later, you need to get to bed.”

Roman doesn’t argue as Virgil half drags him into his bedroom. Roman lays down and Virgil reaches for his hoodie zipper. Roman tries to push his hand away but Virgil is much faster than him. Roman let's out a small whine as Virgil unzips the hoodie. Virgil shushes him and gives him a painkiller and some water. Roman happily drinks it. 

As he is falling asleep, Roman says, ”I love you V…”

”I know, I love you too Ro.” is the last thing Roman hears before passing out.

~

Roman wakes up two hours later so feeling something cold touch his chest. He slowly opens his eyes to see Virgil putting an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel on his chest.

Virgil softly smiles at him, “Hey Sleeping Beauty, welcome back to the land of the living.” Virgil gently cups his face. “Stay still so that the ice can do its job. I’ll order food in a bit and put on a movie. What would you like to watch?”

Roman stares at him dumbfounded, but Virgil was not fazed. He fluffs Roman’s pillow without uttering a word. He then rubs Roman’s cheek and Roman shutters at the soft and intimate touch. 

“What? How? Why…?” Roman had so many questions he wants to ask. 

“When you weren’t answering your phone, I went to your job and I saw you working. That relaxed me enough to let you have some space. I still would walk by every day, hoping you’d see me, and maybe you would come. When I came by earlier today, your coworker came out and invited me in.” “Patton?” “Patton. He said he noticed me walking by and I told him about you. He spent his break talking to me about you. You have a good friend.” Virgil says with a smile.

“I know, Pat’s great.” Roman can’t help but smile back. “I’m guessing he told you about the surgery?” “Yup so I came here. Knowing you, you wouldn’t ask for help and try to take care of yourself.” Roman looks away and pouts, and Virgil kisses the pout away. The kiss makes Roman stare at him confused, but Virgil just continues, “So I asked your building’s maintenance guy to let me in to surprise you. I did not think that work, you should have seen me, I was so nervous, but he said he’s seen you let me in enough times and he said this was one time only so now I am here.”

Roman blinks at Virgil for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he says. Virgil sits there, so patient and understanding that it only manages to confuse “But why?”

“Why what?”

Roman began to cry, but he is too tired to care. “Why would you want to take care of me? I’ve been keeping a huge secret from you for over a year, I’ve been lying to you over a year. I haven’t been as intimate as I deserve to be and you probably desire to because I can’t be. I will never be a true man physically, no matter what I do. And the way you found out, not from me telling you. You should hate me, be mad, anything. I wouldn't hold it against you.”

Virgil sits on the bed and puts his arm around Roman, “Roman, I don’t know who told you otherwise, but when I tell someone I love them, I love all of them. Especially you, you are my boyfriend. You are everything I want and more. I love your body, I’ve loved it since we met. I wouldn’t care if we never had sex, if it met I could be with you. And don’t call yourself anything but a man, because I will fight you about it and have Patton help me.”

Roman laughs but stops, his insecurities taking over once more, “But the way you were looking at me that day…you looked so disgusted”

“I wasn’t, I will never disgusted with you. I was scared. I saw the binder and how red your chest was. I was scared that you were hurting yourself for me.” “Oh...I’m sorry.” Roam replies while lower his head. Virgil tilts it up, “Don’t apologize to me, you owe an apology to your body. I’ll make you do it too.” Roman pulls Virgil into a kiss and Virgil happily kisses back. They will be okay, actually better than okay. Virgil will take of Roman his whole recovery, taking his vacation time to do so. They would spend the time talking, finally no secrets between them. Virgil will ask him to move in as he drives him home from his checkup with Dr. Travis and Roman will happily say yes. Roman will finally let Virgil help me and Roman saves up the money for his bottom surgery and gets a better job with Virgil’s recommendation. Though he will miss working with Patton, they will hang out every weekend to make up for it. It will be a wonderful future.

But right now, they both just need to kiss and breathe because they are happy and together. 

~

Taglist

I do not have a general Sanders Sides but if you would like to be tagged in all things Sanders Sides I post, let me know.

[serceleste]

hamilton thoughts part 2

More stuff I love and/or I was thinking about! This will still only put me at like half of what I have to say, lol.

I can’t blame Hamilton tbh because I would do Maria in a heartbeat. She rocks that red dress, and her hair is amazing, and goddamn is her voice sexy.

I love the amount of acting in the kissing, when Hamilton kisses Eliza it’s lovely and sweet, and when he kisses Maria it’s pure lust “I wanna fuck you right now”.

Angelica’s body language in The Schuyler Sisters is so great, the pure disdain she’s dripping towards the men flinging themselves at her, and the way she looks at Burr, omg.

Hamilton, Laurens, and Burr strutting and their “hey, hey, hey”, I mean, yes, please take me now. Lin fucking winking! You knew what you were doing.

Also whenever Lin does that thing where his voice gets a little low, it does things to me. It’s so growly in Helpless when he sings “as long as I’m alive, Eliza, swear to god you’ll never feel so”, especially in the cast recording, I… Yeah. It does things to me.

Speaking of that bit, when he sings about Angelica and Eliza spins around like “oh shit” and then he grabs her and is all “no stress”, love.

Phillipa Soo’s voice is GORGEOUS, and she is so amazingly natural in her acting. She’s absolutely heartbreaking in Stay Alive (Reprise), and that little scream!

IDK why I like so much the part in The Battle of Yorktown when Hamilton goes “take the bullets out your gun, the bullets out your gun”, but I do.

Jefferson prancing around in that fucking purple velvet with his cane during What’d I Miss, complete gold.

“You punched the bursar?” *snaps his fingers and points* “Yes.” DYING.

Lafayette is SO HOT. (I mean, Jefferson is hot too obviously because Daveed and hair but there’s something about Lafayette that really does it for me.) His intro “oui oui mon ami… etc” is so great.

The costuming is spectacular but I have a special fondness for the soldier uniforms because they all look so goddamn good in them.

It’s also really cool how they use clothing to show the passage of time, even just in the intro Alexander Hamilton with him being shrugged into different jackets.

Jefferson dragging Hamilton’s clothes when he’s out there wearing purple velvet lmao.

Relatedly, Burr being all “the only common thread has been your disrespect” when he’s been calling Hamilton’s mom a whore every other song.

“Here’s an itemized list of 30 years of disagreements”/”Sweet Jesus”, Hamilton you dramatic bitch.

The way the ensemble member drops the last page in Burr’s hand with that flourish is so funny.

I’m not sure what the best thing about Hamilton’s hip thrusting move in Helpless is, the move itself, the way Eliza is so into it, the face her dad makes when he sees, or the way Hamilton immediately stops and straightens his coat. LMAO.

It’s Quiet Uptown makes me cry every goddamn time. Renee’s beautiful narration, Lin’s emotion, Phillipa’s single tear, the way she takes his hand and he looks like he can’t believe it…

Right when Philip dies, Hamilton grasps Eliza’s hand, and then she pulls away from him, and it’s soul-crushing.

“Have you read this?” and Alex Lacamoire raises his hand to get a pamphlet, I love it.

Hamilton drinking his way through One Last Time and looking like he’s gonna cry. <33333 Also, Chris Jackson nails it, and I love that he gets his own little finale song.

“I was chosen for the constitutional convention!!!” What a nerd. <33333333

I’m sure the other Hamiltons have all been brilliant and I’ve heard good things but I love Lin’s whole thing, the way he carries himself and looks like he’s always ready for a fight and is just bouncing around and I just… love him, okay.

When he flips his jacket up at “I practically perfected it”.

The cabinet meetings as literal rap battles and just being Hamilton and Jefferson railing at each other is the best.

Everything about “whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello”, Hamilton jumping around, Jefferson’s face, Washington’s face…

I know one of the criticisms of the play is that it doesn’t do enough re: slavery, and I don’t feel that I’m in a position to dispute that, but I do think it’s pretty noteworthy that What’d I Miss has the ensemble members playing Jefferson’s slaves running around and literally on their knees doing stuff for him.

Satisfied!! Angelica is a queen. Renee is a queen.

The fact that so much of the choreography in Helpless/Satisfied is basically a mirror is SO COOL. And when they move in reverse! Because it’s a flashback! And the way they all move around Angelica!

Honestly the choreography is SO GOOD. I love how they show the warfare especially.

The dudes all egging Hamilton on when he wants to rip into Samuel Seabury. And Burr being all, ‘no’, lol.

Sometimes I get super distracted watching the ensemble instead of the leads. They’re amazing.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

[thetsxshibiscusanon]

Thomceit Hamilton AU Cast

Alrighty, here it is- the post about my Thomceit Hamilton AU that I took like three days to write, hoo boy-

Okay so, this is just the cast of the AU and also just going into some ship ramblings because if I got into the whole thing now, we’d be here for days- so let’s get on with it!

----

The Sanders Sides Characters Roles

~Just to clarify, I’m doing this TS Universe by TS Universe, because there’s a LOT of characters in both fandoms, so the cast are gonna be updated with each reblog~

Alexander Hamilton: Janus 

Why? Well, the colour theme’s for the album match Janus’ general colour aesthetic, Janus is all about taking that chance no matter what and Alex is all about not throwing away his shot, both have got that lawyer association aaaaaaaand I’m just kidding, I wanted to make a Thomceit Helpless animatic in the August of 2019- I never had any plans for this thing, it just happened. 

But yeah- dramatic snake boy lawyer meets dramatic Founding Father lawyer-

----

The Schuyler Sisters:

Angelica: Roman

Roman just radiates fabulous, feminist, older sibling vibes- just imagine him in Angelica’s dress but a bit more red and you’ve got it down! 

Satisfied also radiates Roman vibes- the pink-red colour scheme, the sacrifice, the longing and pining- it all works so well for him! I can also imagine him in Congratulations- especially with the lines ‘He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response!’, ‘...Sacrifice?’ and ‘Eliza~ is the BEST thing in our lives!’ especially since I’m making Thomas Eliza here, because, in some cases, it really parallels what actually happened in the series:

Roman sacrificed the thing he most wanted (Janus/the callback) for Thomas (Eliza/his core) because he wanted what was best for him and what was right for him- and in both cases, he was wrong! My boy either doesn’t get to chase his dreams and feels miserable about it, or he gets cheated on and feels miserable about it- there’s no winning here! (Can you tell that I felt no remorse whilst writing this? /hj)

Also, I thought the line 'He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response!’ didn’t really apply to Janus when I initially made this, but HOO BOY was I wrong-

Eliza: Thomas

Can you tell that Thomceit is my favourite ship? No? You can’t? Well I’m just about to take off the blindfold you’re wearing and talk about much of an amazing husband Thomas would be-

First though, I have to say, Thomas gives off such Eliza vibes on his own anyways- cinnamon bun that needs to be protected and has gone through a lot? Uh, yes! 

Thomas would absolutely be the type to fall head over heels for a cute guy he saw across the room (I mean we all saw FWSA, right?). He'd see Janus and be all 'Wait, frick, handsome boy- what do I do- ROMAN-' and I love that so much.

Ironically though, Hamilton was the one who really fell hard, historically at least, so the fact that in this AU Thomas falls like Eliza did but in the 'canon' Janus and Hamilton are both the actual simps is hilarious to me-

He would totally be the supportive partner he was always meant to be- assuring Janus everything will turn out fine and being sweet and caring like he always is.

On the flip side. Thomas is probably one of the only characters who would actually bite back when cheated on too. Patton is a great option for Eliza, but because Patton is associated the most with nostalgia as a character, I don't think he'd be burning any letters any time soon, he'd hold on to those memories- but Thomas would probably burn the letters as soon as he got the chance, in order to try and forget everything- to burn all the memories. Also, I just wanna see Thomas raging at Janus in First Burn- can you imagine how badass he would be? The passion and fury radiating from him in that song would be just *chef's kiss* incredible!

And here's the strongest argument I have: Eliza is the person who tells the story, of Hamilton, of the soldiers, of Washington- and who is responsible for telling us what goes on in the TS Universe?

Thomas.

I rest my case! (There wasn't one to begin with but shhhh)

(Also, Hamilton and Eliza had 8 kids, and we all know Thomas is the tired mother of 6 children-)

And Peggy (hah): Remus

The main reason for this is, as I'm sure you can guess, because I made Roman Angelica. I mean, how could I not make Remus Peggy? I do have some legitimate reasons though.

Peggy has always been given the chaotic younger sister energy in the fandom, basically the Gen Z child- and Remus embodies Gen Z's chaos perfectly, it's honestly kind of scary. Remus would absolutely be the sibling who's just there to vibe and cause chaos, but would totally be there to help if you wanted it.

The problem here, is that Peggy is constantly asking about the girls' father in Schuyler Sisters, and worrying about consequences- which is not a Remus thing at ALL, but I can imagine Remus asking those questions like '👀 So what's the dealio?' And then being delighted at the responses that come from the others like 'YEAH- Let's break the rules!'

Peggy was also very good friends with Hamilton historically, and we all know Janus and Remus are best friends (that's not canon, but it is now)!

So- Peggy and Remus! Let's go!

----

The Hamilsquad (Sides! Edition):

Aaron Burr: Logan

Logan is the most logical (hah) character to play Burr in my opinion:

Burr kills Hamilton, and Logan is probably the only Side who could actually defeat Janus in some way (Logic overcrowds the lies and reasons its way out of them), and if having a presence and some control got Janus to sink down, then what would happen to Janus if he Logan had full control?

Logan, like Burr, wants to be in the Room Where it Happened- he wants to be listened to- that's self-explanatory, but what gets interesting to me is the waiting ideology both of them have.

We all know Burr waits for opportunities- he had a whole song on it! But what people tend to forget is that Logan has also waited for chances and holds back opinions- the best example would be in LNTAO, where he admits to Thomas that he's been holding back his opinions for far too long and that he doesn't think people take Thomas seriously enough.

That 'wait for the right moment attitude' is instilled in both of them- and while Janus also partially has that attitude, he's also got a 'Leap for the chance and take it' attitude- which is why I can imagine him telling Logan 'You get love for it, you get hate for it- you get nothing if you wait for it' and 'What do you want Burr?'

He'd be the one to ask 'When are you finally going to take a stand and say "I want to be heard?" When are you going to take the chance?'

John Laurens: Virgil

Virgil's role as Laurens is mainly because of symbolism- the idea that you had these two great friends who were in it together, and one of them left (either this life or the Others) and that tore them apart in one way or the other.

Also, Laurens and Hamilton were hiding something- those letters said A LOT, and Jan and Virge act like two ex-boyfriends, like what is this-

----

Theodosia Sr.: Patton

This may just be my Logicality heart screaming, but I think this makes sense- Theodosia always gave off a sweet, soft motherly energy even though we never see her on screen or hear her voice. From what he heard about her, she seemed to be the loving mother character (Eliza was more the loving wife and widow figure, but she did have motherly traits for sure), and we all know Patton would rock the loving mother figure role- there isn't really much more to it.

----

I think that's all I can really say on the Sides characters' roles! There's gonna be more to this but this is a lot as it is, and I wanted to get this done ASAP.

So ye! I hope you enjoyed reading this and are looking forward about what's to come!

[servinglemonade]

HAMILTON ON DISNEY+

BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR HAMILTON ON DISNEY+

Hi everyone! I’m back with a very exciting post that I thought I would not be writing for a very long time. My review of the filmed Hamilton Production on Broadway with the OBC!! After the unexpected announcement that the Hamilton film would find it’s home on Disney+ instead of being released in theaters in 2021, I was ecstatic. I could not believe it! I have been listening to the album with the OBC for years now. I never get tired of it, it always puts a smile on my face and the occasional comfort whenever I need it. I have watched Hamilton four times now and I just love it so much. So let’s go...

Overall reaction

Even after watching four times now, my reaction is still the same. I truly believe that it is a brilliant masterpiece. That is high praise for sure, but Hamilton deserves it. I will never forget experiencing it for the first time on July 3rd. I was blown away and could not take my eyes off the screen. It was exhilarating to finally see this, after listening to it for years. It is the little details that you do not get to experience when listening to the album that I loved the most. So overall, I was blown away by it and exceeded all of my expectations.

Film 

I have never seen a filmed stage musical, so I do not have a reference. However, I thought this was beautifully filmed. It showed the whole stage when it was needed and zoomed in on the actors when necessary. It was an intimate experience. You get the best seat in the house, so to speak.

Cast

I already knew the cast was phenomenal due to listening to the cast album. Seeing them perform all the songs was even better than I expected! Here is an itemized list (hehe) of all the cast members, because they all deserve a chance to shine! Special shout-out to all the ensemble members, without them the show would just not be complete!

Lin-Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton Favorite performance: Hurricane (so beautifully staged!!)

The man, the myth, the legend! I am a huge fan of Lin and his work (even beyond Hamilton)! I thought his Hamilton was great and very funny at times. The emotion in his performance was really good! Lin wrote this whole thing!! It all came from his mind, which is incredible in and of itself. 

Phillipa Soo as Eliza Hamilton Favorite performance: Burn (iconic)

Phillipa is so talented. She has an amazing voice and pair that with her amazing performance and it is practically perfect. Her acting and singing during the final song, Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story, was so emotional. It had me crying all the three times I have seen it. 

Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr Favorite performance: Wait For It (this is one of the songs that made me a Hamilton fan)

Leslie Odom Jr. is one of the most talented people ever. He is so amazing on that stage. Everybody always said that The Room Where It Happens is a true masterpiece and I always liked the song, but it was not my favorite. Seeing Leslie and the Ensemble cast perform it, WOW! Incredible. Leslie is the perfect Burr and had me crying and laughing many times.

Renée Elise Goldsberry as Angelica Schuyler Favorite performance: Satisfied (what else?!)

I always found Renée’s voice so damn powerful in Satisfied, which made me love the song more. Seeing Satisfied performed was magical and I will never get over how amazing that song is and how perfect Renée performs it. She is a true powerhouse whenever she shows up and confirmed that Angelica is one of my favorites in the show.

Daveed Diggs as Marquis de Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson Favorite performance: What’d I Miss (this was hard)

Daveed Diggs. Daveed Diggs. Daveed Diggs. Oh my gosh, he was even more perfect than I thought. Daveed is one of the cast members everyone always raved about and now I know why! If I had to describe his performance, I would say it is electric. He just immediately captures your attention. For both Lafayette and Jefferson!  

Christopher Jackson as George Washington Favorite performance: One Last Time (this was so powerful)

The first time Chris emerges on the stage as Washington, you are just immediately drawn to him (at least I was haha). He just has a very powerful presence. Especially in Right Hand Man, his entrance is EVERYTHING! History Has Its Eyes On You has always been one of my favorites on the soundtrack and it was even better seeing it. However, his moment is One Last Time. It is truly a defining moment of the entire show.

Okieriete “Oak” Onaodowan as Hercules Mulligan/James Madison Favorite performance: Yorktown (his part is so good)

Oak has some fantastic moments in the show! His Hercules Mulligan is so great and full of energy. As I said, his part in Yorktown gets me so hyped! I loved James Madison’s parts with Jefferson, they had awesome energy together. Another fave Madison line is in The Election of 1800. The first line is Jefferson saying if they can get back to Politics since a lot of drama and sad stuff happened in the past few songs and Madison is like uhh, please with a soft voice because he has been crying. So funny and relatable!

Anthony Ramos as John Laurens/Philip Hamilton Favorite Performance: Blow Us All Away (funny in the beginning and ends so sadly)

I enjoyed Anthony Ramos’ performance quite a bit! He was great in conveying emotions as both Laurens and Phillip, with both roles having quite emotional endings. I was shocked to find out there was a part just before Non-Stop that showed Hamilton learning about Laurens’ death, that was so sad and Anthony Ramos did it so beautifully. I was very impressed by him and I cannot wait to see him in In The Heights!

Jasmine Cephas Jones as Peggy Schuyler/Maria Reynolds Favorite performance: Say No To This (her vocals are so great here)

Peggy and Maria might not be the biggest roles in the show but Jasmine slays in both of them! Especially as Maria, her vocals in Say No To This are even better than on the cast album. She was amazing!

Jonathan Groff as King George III Favorite performance: I Know Him (Jonathan’s performance makes this song work so well)

Jonathan was funny on the album but when you see the performance with it, it just completes it! He was phenomenal, and I loved that he showed up during some other songs as well, for example in The Reynolds Pamphlet, absolutely hilarious! I also enjoyed his little announcement at the beginning, where he said Enjoy MY show, that was a neat thing to include here!

Favorite Musical Numbers

Okay, so these are all my favorite performance, taking into consideration the song itself, staging, choreography, and production. I love how seeing the show made me love songs that were not my favorites before! So here they are in a non-particular order:

My Shot 

So powerful, I think I almost jumped off the couch at the end because I was so hyped!

The Schuyler Sister

Even better than I thought it would be! From the use of the rotating stage, the performances, and choreography.

Farmer Refuted

This was the one song I always skipped on the album, however, seeing it here makes me lol every time! It’s great.

You’ll Be Back, What Comes Next?, and I Know Him

Give me all the King George content, soooo funny, I just love these moments in the show!

Helpless and Satisfied

Satisfied is still my favorite of the two, however it was breathtaking seeing how well the two are connected. Especially Satisfied, first the toast, then rewinding to see Helpless from Angelica’s perspective, and lastly coming back to the toast. I just thought it was stunning to see! The staging here is phenomenal.

Wait For It

The song that made me love Hamilton. Seeing Leslie performing it, made me love it, even more. He is so talented and amazing here. I had goosebumps. Even though the staging and production for this number are simple, it just makes it even better because you can just focus on Burr!

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)

Every time I watch it and Yorktown ends, I always shake my head in awe. It such a powerful moment in the show and it just makes me very hyped (especially Mulligan’s part). SO good.

Non-Stop

I know I keep talking about how great the staging is, but I feel like the staging from Satisfied, Non-Stop, and another one is the best ones in the show. The ending of Non-Stop on the stage with all the characters standing above Hamilton, stairs being moved from one side to the other all so seamlessly... *chef’s kiss*

Cabinet Battle #1 and #2

The energy between Hamilton and Jefferson here is so good, and I love they look into the audience and make them a part of it. Lin and Daveed just nail these songs!

The Room Where It Happens

Two things: LESLIE and THE CHOREOGRAPHY. That is all.

Washington On Your Side

I just really started loving this song after seeing the show. I also loved the beginning of the song where Burr joins Jefferson on stage, starts singing and Jefferson is just standing there confused thinking: “Where did you come from all of a sudden?” This is Chris’ moment in the show, he just conveys so much emotion in every line. 

One Last Time

This is Chris’ moment in the show, he just conveys so much emotion in every line. 

Hurricane

I just love this song and the use of the rotating stage here is excellent, same goes for the lighting.

The World Was Wide Enough

Seeing this for the first time was so emotional, the part where only Lin is singing and you onlyhear his voice... Pfff, amazing! Also how Leslie ends the song, WOW! 

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

The way I sobbed during this... I just thought it was a beautiful ending for the show itself.

Okay, that was a long one! But I love talking about Hamilton and if you read the whole post, I guess you like reading about it! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! What were your favorite moments from the show?

Have a festive day and stay safe! 

XO 

Yenai

[hamanuelton]

my favorite parts of hamilton:

- “I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.”

- every time Leslie Odom Jr. as aaron burr begins another part with “how did a bastard, orphan-“ or like in that same way ‘cause he doesn’t always start it that way but you know what I mean

- the way Leslie Odom Jr. as My Boi Burr™️ says “well, the world got around, they said, ‘this kid is insane, man!’”

- also when Leslie Odom Jr. as A. Burr says

“WHAT’S YOUR NAME, MAN?!”

- “our man saw his future drip-dripping down the drain, a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain”

- “Alexander Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait, just you wait...”

- background “just you wait, just you wait”’s as hammy’s putting on a new jacket and ensemble is praising nyc

- “and me? i’m the damn fool that shot him.”

- “Burr, sir” + the continuation of this all throughout

- “If you talk you’re gonna get shot” / FORESHADOWING WOOOEEEEWOOOOO

- “i’m John Laurens in the place to be”

- Lafayette’s fuckinf accent

- “BRRRAH! BRRAAAH! HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT”

- “if you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for”

- “‘Onarchy?”

- hey, yo, i’m just like my country, i’m young, scrappy, and hungry—

- the way Odom Leslie Jr. as The Hamburrglar™️ says ‘shot’ and they all take a shot

- this ⤵️

- Hammy getting //flustered// about friendship

- WHEN ARE THESE COLONIES GONNA RISE UP

- Angelica’s face when Burr is tryna tell her bout herself and she shows him up and ships him out

- Act 1: 6. Farmer Refuted

- honorable mention: “my dog speaks more eloquently than thee!" "but strangely, your mange is the same." "is he in jersey?”

- King George pouting

- Jonathan Groff’s overarticulation of each syllable as King George is a work of art

- “♪ Da-da-da-dat-da-dat-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪ Da-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪

- “Everybody! —“

- “We keep meeting.”

- “i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. when’s it gonna get me? in my sleep? seven feet ahead of me?”

- “See, I never thought I’d live past twenty.”

- “this is not a moment, it’s the movement”

- “I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow, for the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow!”

- “dying is easy, young man, living is harder!”

- “i’m being honest. i’m working with a third of what our Congress promised.”

- “you need all the help you can get. i have some friends. Laurens, Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette, okay, what else?” — “we’ll need some spies on the inside, some king’s men who might let some things slide.”

- “watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother be seated at the right hand of the father.”

- “Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after him” — “That’s true.”

- “Yo, if your marry a sister, you’re rich, son!” — “Is it a question of ‘if’, Burr, or which one?” and then the little ‘hey’ ‘hey’ thing they do gets me every time

- literally the use of yo throughout the production fucking gets me every single fucking time

- “i’m writin’ a letter nightly. now my life gets better, every letter that you write me. — THE PURE UNBRIDLED SENSE OF FORESHADOWING IN “laughin’ at my sister, cuz she wants to form a harem” — ft. “i’m just sayin’, if you really loved me, you would share him!”

- the irony in “Eliza, i don’t have a dollar to my name”, you’ll be on the $10 bill, my man

- top-notch brain

- Angelica TRIED TO TAKE A BITE OF ME

- the way Anthony Ramos as John Laurens says “alright, alright. that’s what i’m talkin’ about!” and also the face that he makes

- hunger-pang frame

- “You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied.” — “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself.” — “You’re like me. I’m never satisfied.” — “Is that right?” — “I have never been satisfied.” — “My name is Angelica Schuyler.” — “Alexander Hamilton.” — “Where’s your fam’ly from?” — “Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but just you wait, just you wait...”

- tbh the way ‘Schuyler��� is spelled is oddly satisfying to me

- honestly just the way LMM says Alexander Hamilton+/ my name is Alexander Hamilton, and there’s a million things i haven’t done, ‘just you wait, just you wait...’ throughout the production

- “i’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in new york city is insidious”

- “You are the worst, Burr.”

- Act 1: 12. The Story of Tonight (Reprise)

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes”

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died—“

- “Chick-a-plao!”

- the way they say ‘raise a glass’ is both elegant and (appropriately) reverent

- “i go back to new york and my apprenticeship” — i shouted MY BOI HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, IF HE ACTUALLY LEFT AND ISN’T JUST UNDERCOVER OR SOME SHIT IMMA WRITE LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER

- the minute General Charles Les came into the picture i hated him so hard, even though his literal first word was ‘Whee!!!!’, though i can appreciate the sentiment and what LMM was tryna do there

- “Washington cannot be left to his devices indescisive, from crisis to crisis” — sweet baby jesus that alliteration, and jon rua totally pulled it off (i hate General Charles Lee not the person who played him, i can also appreciate the fact that as an actor it takes a lot of talent to be able to make you hate a character so easily, also shoutout to Jonathan Groff as King Georgey-Boy™️, Sydney James Harcourt as james reynolds, and the general way LMM somehow made me fed up/turn on Alexander with the whole scene with him and Maria Reynolds — and not only that but somehow redeemed himself to me which is easier said than done for characters and people alike.. i’ve been hurt too much to play like that.

- Act 1: 15. Ten Duel Commandments

- honorable mention: “if you don’t reach peace, that’s alright. time to get some pistols and a doctor on site. you pay him in advance, you treat him with civility. you have him turn around so he can have deniability.”

- Act 1: 17. That Would Be Enough

- honorable mention: the melody that LMM went with for that turn of phraseis a truly beautiful thing

- “Immigrants:” — “We get the job done.”

- THE FACT THAT MY MAIN MAN HERCULE MULLIGAN WAS ON THE INSIDE NOT ONLY DID I CALL IT BUT DAMN HE REALLY GOT THAT GOOD HOT TRIBUTE HE DESERVED

- “To my brother’s a revolutionary covenant! I’m runnin’ with the sons of liberty and I am lovin’ it! See, that’s what happens when you up against the ruffians. We’re in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it! Hercules Mulligan, I need no introduction, when you knock me down I get the fuck back up again!”

- Act 1: 21. What Comes Next

- honorable mention: “i’m so blue” — the little squat that Groffsauce does as the light turns blue really got to me

- Act 1: 22. Dear Theodosia

- Leslie Odom Jr.’s voice is so ding dang delightfully airy

- honorable mention: “You have my eyes. You have your mother’s name. When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart.”

- Act 1: 23. Non-Stop

- as someone with siblings i can appreciate that they’re bickering like that’s just what they are

- “I was chosen for the constitutional convention! *squeal*”

- “Burr, we studied and we fought and we killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build. For once in your life, take a stand with pride. I don’t understand how you stand to the side.”

- Act 2: 1. What’d I Miss?

- honorable mention: “But the sun comes up and the world still spins.”

- Act 2: 2. Cabinet Battle #1

- honorable mention: “DOIN’ WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO!”

- tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

- “Daddy, daddy, look.... My name is Philip. I am a poet. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I just turned nine. You can write rhymes but you can’t write mine.” - “What!” - “I practice French and play piano with my mother.” — “Uh-huh!” — “I have a sister but I want a little brother.” — “Okay!” — “My daddy’s trying to start America’s bank. Un deux trois quatre cinq!” — “Bravo!” — “Hey, our kid is pretty great.”

- as much as i hate Act 2: 4. Say No To This (because for some reason i though Alexander Hamilton was better than that) Jasmine Cephas Jones sings in it is like a hot knife through butter — namely; “My husband’s doin’ me wrong beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me...”... I guess maybe I understand it ‘cause damn Jasmine Cephas Jones is so ding dang pretty and ding dang talented and wow what a remarkable person

- the way that Lin says “And her body’s saying, ‘hell, yes’ is um.. 😓

- “You see, that was my wife you decided to” — “Fuuuu—“

- Act 2: 5. The Room Where It Happens

- honorable mention: “Bros.”

- “Talk less. Smile more.” LMM being a dramatic bastard

- Act 2: 6. Schuyler Defeated

- Act 2: 7. Cabinet Battle #2

- “revolution is messy but now is the time to stand."

- honorable mention: “Ooh!!”

- “We signed a treaty with a King whose head is now in a basket. Would you like to take it out and ask it? ‘Should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?’ ‘Uh... do whatever you want, I’m super dead.’”

- Thomas Jefferson all like “but sir do we not fight for freedom” MY BAD SIR YOU ARE A SLAVE-OWNER HOW ABOUT YOU NOT

- mentioning Lafayette because apparently LMM has no problem with breaking the fourth wall

- “Daddy’s calling.”

- “I’m in the cabinet. I am complicit in watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it. If Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents, this is the difference. This kid is out!”

- “Southern motherfuckin’ Democratic-Republicans!”

- “The emperor has no clothes.”

- “Sir, I don’t know what you heard but whatever it is Jefferson started it.” — “Thomas Jefferson resigned this morning.” — “You’re kidding.” — “I need a favor.” — “Whatever you say, sir, Jefferson will pay for his behavior.” — “I’ll use the press. I’ll write under a pseudonym, you’ll see what I can do to him—“ — “Yes! He resigned you can finally speak your mind!” — “Ha. Good luck defeating you, sir.” - “I’m sorry, what?”

- Act 2: 10. I Know Him

- “—Vice President.” — “— No more Mr. Nice President.”

- “Sit down, John, you fat motherf—“

- Act 2: 12. We Know

- honorable mention: “You see that was my wife you decided to—“ — “WHAT—“

- Act 2: 13. Hurricane

- Act 2: 14. The Reynolds Pamphlet

- honorable mention: *DEEP VOICE* “DAMN”

- Act 2: 15. Burn

- i’ll be the first to say i wasn’t a huge fan of Eliza at first aside from Phillipa Soo’s killer voice

- this gave me a lot of respect for her

- honorable mention: “You have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun.”

- Act 2: 16. Blow Us All Away

- i would like to point out that tweet where someone @‘s LMM about not mentioning Philip’s hot and he responds “I’M FAIRLY F**CKING SURE I DID”, y’know ⤵️

- “The ladies say my brain’s not where the resemblance stops.”

- “God, you’re a fox.”

- Act 2: 17. Stay Alive (Reprise)

- The ‘I know, I know. Shh.’ and the full circle back to his mom teaching him french on the piano really got to me for the beautiful artistry in it but also damn them feels

- Act 2: 18. It’s Quiet Uptown

- “I spend hours in the garden. I walk alone to the store and it’s quiet uptown. I never liked the quiet before. I take the children to church on Sunday, a sign of the cross at the door, and I pray. That never used to happen before.”

- “Philip, you would like it uptown. It’s quiet uptown.”

- “You knock me out, I fall apart.”

- “Eliza, do you like it uptown? It’s quiet uptown.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable. The moments when you’re in so deep it feels easier to just swim down.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand. We push away the unimaginable.”

- “Can you imagine?”

- Act 2: 19. The Election of 1800

- honorable mention: “And they say I’m a Francophile: at least they know I know where France is!”

- “You used to work on the same staff” — “Whaaaat.”

- “Honestly, it’s kind of draining.” — “Burr...” — “Sir!” — “Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” — “No. I’m chasing what I want. And you know what?” — “What?” — “I learned that from you.” / this moment made the blow that he voted for Jefferson like a damn hole in my chest and i actually really felt for Burr. i get Hammy’s reluctance, i think if anything he was hoping voting for Jefferson would give Burr the chance to have experience as VP and then the next election he might vote for him then depending

- Act 2: 20. Your Obedient Servant

- A. Burr

- A. Ham

- “I just need to write something down.” / really resonated as one of the last things they showed him doing before going off to the duel, his life really was writing and that was the perfect way to say that in a very subtle sort of way. i really appreciate it artistically, whether it was intentionally so or not.

- Act 2: 22. The World Was Wide Enough

- okay but first of all i would like to comment on the fact that Ariana DeBose PLAYS THE GODDAMN BULLET, I JUST

- THE FACT THAT THE BULLET HAS A PART

- “This man will not make an orphan of my daughter.” / this made me really sympathize with Burr, as well as when he tries to go towards Hamilton (at least in the play but I sincerely hope that was historically accurate) / but also that fact that Theodosia Burr was lost at sea at 29 makes me sad because Hamilton’s life was taken to give her one and then she just up and disappears in a freak accident

- Act 2: 23. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

- the orphanage got to me

- i loved that he (LMM) didn’t end it with himself or anything

- he let Phillipa Soo tear my heart out

- it killed me but i died quite happily

- and really what more could you ask for.

[lionwrote]

Satisfied

And why I dislike the song as a whole. 

As we all know Hamilton will be coming to Disney+ on the 3rd. This is good! 

This is about why I dislike Satisfied. Now I do like the song as its own separate entity with the melody and Renee has a beautiful voice, this is nothing against her. I dislike the song as a whole because Angelica Schuyler’s relationship with her brother-n-law was different and this whole story of infatuation is musical only. 

it’s also disrespectful to relationship between Angelica and Eliza has in real life as well as disrespectful to the relationship between Eliza and her own husband. I’ve said it before that I believe the musical completely disrespects Eliza as a whole.  

Now Angelica Schuyler was already Angelica Church having ran off and eloped with her husband in 1777. Angelica was also pregnant with her third child when she met Alexander. She did have a flirtatious correspondence with Hamilton but that was her style. She was a charmer and enjoyed that sort of style and banter. 

Now, Hamilton and Eliza did not actually meet at the ball in February 1780 for the first time. They met two years prior over a dinner at the Schuyler when Hamilton was delivering something to Philip Schuyler, who, mind you was a general. Now, I don’t mind the musicals portrayal of the ball being  that’s when they first met, because it’s hard to portray everything. 

But the ball was in February, they were engaged by June and married in December all in the same year. People also love to assume that he didn’t really love her but have any of you ever read his letters to her? Or heard the story of when he spent time with her and went back to the camp that he forgot the password he needed to use because he was so in love with her? 

Also small fact that Hamilton was also really good friends with Peggy and they were confidants 

Now, this is why I believe Satisfied is disrespectful on so many levels. It disrespects the Hamilton’s and the Church's and their relationships as a whole. 

Now, I also believe that Satisfied exists or at least from Angelica’s perspective because Lin is a coward. 

What do I mean? Satisfied itself is a song about longing over a love that you can’t have at its core. Angelica could easily be replaced by John Laurens. But the stuffy Broadway going crowd would have been clutching their pearls at the idea of a relationship existing between Laurens and Hamilton. 

If you never read their letters to one another, or at least the ones that we still HAVE since there is proof that we’re missing some, go read them. 

So instead of showing a queer relationship on stage we have a fabricated heterosexual relationship. 

I know a lot of fans LOVE Satisfied but in a historical sense its disrespectful and I just want to say that. 

[chances-r-high]

Rescue Aftermath

[ @vindication-thy-name-is-dwight ]

Chance sat at Addie’s bedside, gently petting her hair and listening to her breathe and purr. There’d been enough supplies here for him to completely patch Addie up, even finding some local anesthetic and pain killers. She was fast asleep now, allowing the nanites and meds to do their work, letting her heal.

He stopped in his motions, finally having his thoughts together. Or at least he felt like it. He leaned over and gave Addie a gentle kiss on her forehead. She made a tiny chirp, but besides that she didn’t stir. Chance got to his feet and straightened out the shirt he was wearing. It was one Dwight had thrown at him. He wanted to refuse but he didn’t like being shirtless when he wasn’t at home in private. Some things were for Addie and Iris’ eyes only.

His chest felt like it was going to explode, his emotions at an all time high as he walked out to the cockpit of the ship. He was trembling and he hated it. A part of him told himself it didn’t matter because he didn’t have to give a fuck what Dwight thought anymore, but another part of him couldn’t help be feel weak and scold himself.

He stood there behind Dwight for a long time, setting his jaw, before speaking. “Turn the ship on autopilot.”

Dwight knew he was there, could feel Chance’s eyes basically boring a hole through his skull. He glanced over his shoulder at the demand before complying, adjusting the ship’s settings, he turned around in the seat, keeping his expression quite neutral. “Something on your mind, High Chancellor?” The title was said rather neutrally. It wasn’t like Chance having the position was surprising.

Chance glared, his hands balled into fists at his side. He wished he had powers like Addie. “Why are you here?”

Dwight sighed, already exhausted of that question. “Well, currently, I’m taking you and your Master of Arms back home at great personal risk to myself-”

“That is not what I mean and you know it!” Chance shouted. “Don’t bullshit me right now, Dwight! Why the fuck are you here?!”

Dwight leaned back in his chair, sighing loudly. He really wished people would just accept things and not need all these answers. He was already exhausted with explaining himself. “...Leera was worried about you,” he said, folding his arms. “Satisfied?”

“Are kidding me?! Of course I’m not fucking satisfied! I am Angelica Schuyler with how unsatisfied I am!”

Dwight blinked. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Ask Leera she would know!” Chance shouted, He ran a hand through his hair and found himself pacing. His couldn’t help it, needing to get the anxious energy out of himself somehow. He had to remind himself to breathe. “You have never cared about what she wanted. Hell, you’ve never cared about what anyone else wanted but you. You don’t do anything unless you fucking want to! So I have to wonder why the fuck you want to be here!”

Dwight let him yell, not raising his voice when he spoke. At least not yet. “To be fair I don’t even know what I want anymore, if that helps to explain any of this.”

“It doesn’t!” Chance yelled. He paced again, feeling more frantic and angry. He quickly pulled out one of the swords Dwight had given him, pointing the blade at Dwight’s face. His hand was shaking, making his grip unsteady. The space here was small but he could make it work for a fight.

Dwight, however, didn’t flinch. He didn’t move at all. His eyes darted down to the sword and up to Chance, making no move to defend himself. “Go on.”

Chance’s grip on the sword tightened, and he snarled wordlessly. All he had to do was shove the blade forward into Dwight’s throat. This could all be over here and now.

And yet, all he could think about was that Dwight had let both Dibkins and Honey go. Hell, he’d helped Agent Dib and Dek escape. He was here, helping Addie rescue him.

He also couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to Leera if Dwight died, if he killed him. He’d never thought about it before, but now that he’d reconnected with her, he was certainly thinking about it now.

He made a loud sound of despair as he lowered his weapon, stomping his foot and screaming, pulling at his hair as he paced again. He rounded on Dwight once, making sure to get right into his face. “I’m not yours! Not anymore! You hear me? I have two fathers and neither of them are you!” He had to force his voice not to crack, emotions bubbling to the surface. “You don’t get to just...come back and rescue me because you fucked up and left me to last time! After all the other shit you did to me! You don’t get to do that!”

“Are you really complaining? I would say your life has been rather good since then-,”

“That is not the point, Dwight! That is nowhere near the fucking point!” He had to end the conversation. Stop talking. Otherwise he was going to start crying and Dwight would never see that ever. “You say you don’t know what this is? What you want? Guess what? I don’t give a shit! What matters is what I want and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about that! Not now and not ever!” He shook almost violently with the amount of emotions that bombarded him. “You stopped having any right to me and my life the moment you left me at that Team Nebula base. And you do not get to come back. You understand?!”

Dwight let the boy rant. He could tell Chance was actually holding a lot back. His stomach tightened and lurched, but for now he would ignore it. He wouldn’t apologize. Apologies were for the other person and not yourself, and it was obvious that would only make Chance more upset.

Not that he cared, of course.

“I understand,” Dwight replied, his tone still calm. Resigned.

Chance continued to stare at him, outrage and fury clear in his expression. He made another frustrated noise before stomping back into the room where Addie was sleeping, barely restraining from slamming the door. He took a moment to catch his breath, sliding down the door and burying his face in his knees. He let out a small whimper before starting to quietly cry, curling up and crying. 

Asshole. Fucking asshole.

Dwight watched him go, waiting until the door was closed before he returned to flying the ship. He clenched the wheel a little harder, ignoring the deep pain in his chest.

I’m sorry…

No use saying something that he knew would never be enough.

[angelqueen04]

Hamliza Month, Day 14

@megpeggs​ @historysalt​

Wedding Summary: You are cordially invited... Note: This takes place in the same arc as Reunion (Day 10) and Tryst (Day 12). Also, happy 240th anniversary to Eliza and Alexander!

Everyone was here, Eliza knew. The ceremony was to take place at precisely ten-thirty in the morning, and it seemed that no one wanted to miss it. The various relations that had been able to make the journey – not as many as there would have been at a different time of year, given the atrociously cold weather, but still a respectable number – had been arriving all morning. Their combined voices were creating quite the loud din downstairs, and Eliza could hear her father’s booming voice introducing Alexander to the various aunts, uncles, and cousins that had been able to make the journey.

Not that Eliza had seen any of them. She had not been permitted to step below stairs at all today on her mother’s orders. “Bad luck him to see you before the ceremony!” her mother had lectured her. Nor had any of the guests been permitted to come upstairs to see Eliza, not even her cousins or aunts. The only people she had seen at all today had been her mother, Peggy, Cornelia, and a few of the servants.

But now, that was, finally, about to change. It was nearly time, and Eliza could hear the guests moving into the parlor, where she would marry Alexander. Her father would arrive at her door any moment to escort her down.

Eliza took one last look in the mirror in front of her. She had chosen to marry in blue, so as to complement Alexander’s own attire. He asked her in a letter just a few months ago what she would have him wear.[1] It had been an easy answer – her fiancé was a soldier, and so she would wed him in his officer’s uniform of buff and blue. The dress’ fabric was covered in beautiful blue floral patterns, and she rather thought that it would match up very well with Alexander’s coat.[2]

The sound of footsteps on the stairs suddenly reached her ears. Papa was coming.

She took a deep, steadying breath. It was time. In just a short period of time, she would no longer be Miss Elizabeth Schuyler, but Mrs. Alexander Hamilton.

She felt no fear, no apprehension. Eliza was ready to take this step. She had been ready since the spring, when Alexander had first proposed to her. She would have married him then, without an elaborate party or anything else of the sort, but this grand gathering had been her parents’ most earnest wish, since they had been denied the chance to provide it for Angelica. So Eliza had submitted, with Alexander’s encouragement and agreement, but had done so reluctantly. She had not needed any of this fuss, but because her parents seemed to, she deferred to their wishes.

A knock at the door. “Betsey?” came her father’s deep voice. “It’s time.”

It was time. She was ready.

Taking a deep breath, Eliza called, “Come in, Papa.”

She turned toward the door just as it opened. Her father stepped in, and stopped in his tracks when he saw her. His eyes widened, clearly surprised by her appearance – for he had not seen her in her wedding dress before now – and then he blinked several times. “You – that is – your mother. She wore blue on the day we wed,” he said, his tone gruff but gentle.

Eliza smiled. Stepping forward, she took her father’s hand. “Well, let’s get down there, Papa,” she said, and then added teasingly, “Let’s not let all of our hard work go waste.”

He smiled, and Eliza saw him continue blinking. She realized then that her father, her wonderful, stern, gruff father was blinking back tears. Eliza squeezed his hand, and he leaned down to kiss her forehead before he aided her in bringing her veil over her head.

They crossed the salon together, making for the staircase. As they began their descent, Eliza could hear the murmur of voices. Her heart began to beat faster in excitement, and it took every ounce of control she had not to dart ahead of her father just so she could reach the parlor, reach Alexander.

The dining table had already been pulled out into the center of the front hall, and it was already groaning under the weight of the food, particularly the wedding cake, which sat in the very center. The food smelled divine, but they did not stop to partake. That would happen soon enough.

Peggy was waiting for them before they reached the parlor door. They stopped a moment and allowed Peggy to make a few last minute adjustments to Eliza’s gown – straightening the skirt and veil, and even making sure Eliza’s garters were secure. When Peggy finally stood still in front of Eliza, their eyes met and Eliza could not help but feel a moment of loss. There was one of their number missing here today. They had always been three – the Schuyler sisters – and had done everything together. That had come to an end with Angelica’s elopement, but somehow, it was only now that it truly seemed real to Eliza. Angelica was far from here, living her life in Boston with Mr. Carter and their two little ones.[3]

Eliza bit her lip against the sudden urge to weep, and she saw the feeling reflected in Peggy’s eyes.

But then Peggy straightened to her full height and said, “Buck up, Betsey. You don’t want to meet your Colonel with red eyes, do you? You might actually succeed where the British failed and frighten him off!”

Both Eliza and their father snorted, the sounds nearly identical. Giving her one last grin, Peggy turned on her heel and preceded them into the parlor.

There was a moment of silence, and then music upon the pianoforte filled the air. Her father took her hand and placed it on his arm. “Well, my girl,” he said, “Are you ready?”

Eliza beamed at him, squeezing his arm. “Yes, Papa, I’m ready,” she told him.

He nodded and, together, they started forward and into the parlor.

The room was full to bursting, was Eliza’s first thought. Although her wedding was not as large as her parents likely would have cared for it to be – owing to both the weather and the war – many of her kin had obviously made a special effort to come when they received word that it was happening. Her grandfather, standing tall and venerable even as he leaned on his cane, winked at her as she walked past him, and Grandmother Gertrude also smiled. Eliza also received various smiles and even whispered well-wishes from her numerous other relatives as she and her father moved down the small aisle the crowed had created, toward the fireplace where Alexander and Pastor Westerlo waited. Last, but never least, she saw her mother, brothers, and Cornelia standing at the front, the former already dabbing a handkerchief at her eyes and the latter bouncing in excitement. Eliza struggled to suppress a laugh at her little sister’s exuberance.

Meeting Alexander’s gaze nearly stole her breath away. She had rarely seen him appear so happy. Perhaps the only time that could compare would have been the day she had accepted his proposal of marriage, back in the spring. That had been a day they had both been delirious with joy, but now Eliza thought that this day would be even more so.

She and her father halted just in front of Alexander, who then stepped forward, holding out his hand. Her father slowly took her hand from his arm, and then laid it in the younger man’s. “My son,” he said in a low, quiet tone, so soft that it was unlikely most of the crowd could even hear it, “be true.”

Alexander nodded, completely in earnest, and her father, satisfied, stepped back, leaving Eliza to step up alone to stand with Alexander before Mr. Westerlo. The music also came to an end, leaving the parlor in silence.

The pastor began the ceremony then, speaking the words that he had no doubt spoken for many couples before them, but in all honesty, Eliza heard few of them. Instead, all of her attention was drawn to Alexander. Their hands were tangled up in one another as they received the prayers of Mr. Westerlo and the many witnesses. As their gazes held one another, Eliza saw Alexander’s eyes sparkle and one corner of his lips turn upward in a smile. The gesture had Eliza fighting not to break out into a wide grin wholly inappropriate for the solemn moment they were in. Instead, she squeezed his hands in warning, but received only a mischievous wink in return.

Naughty man, she thought, wanting to laugh.

Mr. Westerlo’s words finally broke through the haze of merriment around them when he asked Alexander, “Will you take this woman to be thy wedded wife?”

His voice was strong and clear, with no hesitation. “I will.”

“To have and to hold from this moment forward? For richer, for poorer? In sickness, and in health? Forsaking all others?”

“I will.”

The pastor then repeated the bride’s vows for Eliza, which she duly answered. Subsequently, Alexander produced a ring, which he slid upon her finger as he swore, “With this ring, I thee wed. With my body, I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods, I thee endow.” And in a personal touch, not part of the ceremony, he then lifted that same hand to his lips, and kissed the ring that now rested there. Eliza could sense rather than see the smiles coming from their audience, and the fond, indulgent look of Mr. Westerlo.

Finally, the ceremony concluded, with the pastor granting Alexander permission to “kiss his bride.” Alexander let go of her hands then, and plucked at the veil, raising it and letting it fall back behind her head. Without hesitation, they closed the distance between them and their lips met in a kiss that pledged all of their love and devotion, a moment every bit as sacred as having the church grant its own blessing upon their union.

The sound of cheering filled Eliza’s ears, and soon she and Alexander were surrounded by her many relations. Eliza was receiving kisses on the cheeks from Peggy and her mother, and she could feel Cornelia tugging at her skirts. Her father and Mr. Westerlo were shaking Alexander’s hand, with her many male relations waiting their turn.

The next several hours were a whirlwind of good food, dancing, and excellent company. More than once, Eliza would lose Alexander in the crowd, only to find her brothers smirking and nudging her in a certain direction. Then, lo and behold, there would be Alexander, and they would have some time to enjoy one another’s company, only to be tugged apart again by different members of her family. From the mischievous expressions on many of their faces, Eliza was certain that they were all doing it on purpose.

By the late afternoon, Eliza was flushed from both the wine and the dancing, but was still able to stand up to bid farewell as the guests began to take their leave. Eliza was inundated with well-wishes – and advice – from her female relations. She was also on the receiving end of a fierce hug from Peggy, who was leaving for Albany in the company of their grandparents.

“I think you’ll be happy, Betsey,” Peggy said as they clutched one another tightly. Eliza buried her face in her sister’s shoulder for a moment before they separated. Together, they turned where Alexander stood some distance away, in deep conversation with their father and several uncles. He seemed to sense their gaze, however, and his eyes shifted from his new father-in-law to meet Betsey’s gaze. His expression lit up and he beamed at her.

Peggy stifled a laugh. “Oh yes, he adores you already.”

“And I him,” Eliza murmured, smiling back at him before turning back to her sister. Out of habit, she reached out and tugged Peggy’s cloak about her more tightly. “Stay warm, dear Peggy.”

Peggy flashed her one last grin, this one far naughtier. “I would say the same to you, but I don’t think I need to worry. Alexander will take care of that just fine, I’m sure.” Dodging Eliza’s playful swat, she darted out the door.

Eliza found herself without someone else to pay her respects to, so she turned her gaze back to Alexander. Like her, he was flushed from the wine he’d consumed and their many dances, but beyond that, she could see how happy he was amid his current company. Her father already made it perfectly clear how delighted he was with his new son-in-law, and the other men appeared to have taken to him as well. It was certainly a far cry from how Mr. Carter had been viewed after his and Angelica’s hurried elopement.

The thought made her stop. It was true, Alexander was receiving a much kinder reception from her family. Perhaps it was because of her father’s obvious approbation and support, but part of her could not help but wonder if it was because Alexander had done things properly. He had publicly courted Eliza, had sought her parents’ blessing after he had proposed to her, even revealing aspects of his life to them that could cost him that blessing, and yet being unwilling to lie, even by omission. He had not married her in a hurried ceremony in a dirty army camp, but instead had bowed to the traditions of her family and the desires of her parents. He had even taken leave from his important position as General Washington’s aide-de-camp to marry Eliza here, in her home and surrounded by her kin.

Eliza had not needed this large celebration. She was never one for ostentation. Still, she had recognized her parents’ desires and had bowed to them. But as she looked at Alexander, took in his obvious happiness at being so welcomed by her kin, Eliza could not help but think that perhaps Alexander had needed this too. He had told her enough of his childhood to know that he really had little kin to speak of. A dead mother, a father and brother that he had scant contact with, a half-brother who had taken everything and left him with nothing, and a few cousins who, although dear to him, were a world away and had no plans to close that distance.

But now, in marrying her as he had, Alexander had gained an enormous family, all of whom were warmly disposed to him. For someone whose life had been so lonely, it must have been a like water on the ground after a long drought.

Well, there would be no more of that, Eliza thought with a sudden fierceness. He had her family now, and most of all, he had her. They would build their own family, and he would never have to worry about being left alone again.

Glancing around, Eliza saw that no one else seemed to be readying to leave just yet, so she left her spot near the door and made her way towards the group congregating around Alexander. There was a great roar of laughter as she approached, and she smiled reflexively. “Excuse me, gentlemen,” she said, moving over to Alexander’s side and slipping her hand into his. “Might I borrow my husband?”

No one raised any objections, and Eliza had no trouble leading Alexander away from the crowd. She pulled him toward the back of the house, past the stairs – it wasn’t yet time for them to journey upstairs just yet – and into her father’s library. She nudged him inside and closed the door behind her. Turning back, she leaned against it and stared at Alexander. He stared back at her, looking amused. “How may I be of service, Mrs. Hamilton?” he asked, his eyes gleaming at her new name.

Eliza suspected it would be a long, long time before being called that lost its thrill. In fact, she hoped it never would. Still, she had no desire for coyness. Brazenly, she stepped up to him, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him fiercely.

Alexander did not object to her boldness, bringing his arms about her waist and returning the kiss. They stayed like that for several moments. When they finally broke apart, he asked somewhat breathlessly, “May I ask what that was for?”

Eliza did not stray far, keeping her arms draped loosely about him. She smiled and said, “Just to say how much I love you, my dearest Alexander.”

He laughed, “Well, then, if that is how you plan to say ‘I love you’ for the rest of our lives, my sweet Betsey, I shall say that I am the luckiest of men!”

-----

[1] Alexander Hamilton to Elizabeth Schuyler, 5 October 1780.

[2] I went diving into Google and Pinterest, looking for something that I could see as Eliza’s wedding dress. I could never find the complete ensemble that matched what I envisioned, but here is the fabric that came the closest (though the cut of the gown isn’t quite right, so ignore that).

[3] I’m honestly not entirely certain on this. I’ve read conflicting reports as to whether Angelica was present for Eliza and Alexander’s wedding. I learned from a recent livestream that even the interpreters at the Schuyler Mansion aren't completely sure either. Still, her absence seemed pretty plausible to me, so I went with it.

[thefederalistfreestyle]

One key scene helped cement ‘Hamilton’ as a Broadway legend. The team that crafted it explains how. (WaPo):

[. . .]  When it was suggested that the interview focus on one galvanizing interlude of “Hamilton,” and how each played their part in making it happen, the reaction was immediate and electric. It was an opportunity for them to reflect on the profound psychic-income aspect of their group achievement and the ineffable bond that feeds artistic success.

“This speaks to a sense of trust that I think is evident, as you watch all of us kind of lean forward in our seats, getting a chance to talk about this one particular thing,” Kail, 40, says. “The difference between a show that might have an opportunity to be its full expression — when ideas are allowed to flow and be identified — and when they’re squelched, because it’s not your job or you shouldn’t be saying this or you don’t feel the comfort of being able to say it.”

“I’ve worked on other shows where you propose a change because the moment isn’t working, and all of a sudden, you feel the grins tightening, you just see the arms lock. With this group, that has never happened,” adds Lacamoire, 43. “There’s always been a thing about, ‘You know, this isn’t quite landing,’ and then we all think about, how can we make it better?”

[. .  .]

The vignette-filled “Satisfied,” which comes smack-dab in the middle of Act 1, proves to be a wonderful springboard for discussion, because it embodies so many of the musical’s irresistible attributes: its restless, energetic resourcefulness; its ability to paint a historical mural and apply a modern varnish of commentary at the same time; its perspective shifts, its wit, its rigor. It’s no wonder the song drew on and conjured for Miranda and company all manner of cultural references, including “West Side Story,” “A Chorus Line,” “The Matrix” and “Ratatouille.”

It’s a song that was the breakthrough indicator of how much story their deeply researched musical, based largely on Ron Chernow’s best-selling biography, could pack into a conventional two-act structure. Because before “Satisfied,” Angelica Schuyler did not exist in the show. “The question of whether Eliza’s sister would be a character was up for debate,” Miranda recalls. “I mean, she is a confidante of her sister, she had these letters with Hamilton, and it’s, ‘Do I have time to get into that?’ ”

Devising “Satisfied” for Angelica, a role originated in 2015 at off-Broadway’s Public Theater and on Broadway by Renee Elise Goldsberry, who would win a Tony for it, proved crucial to developing the emotional core of “Hamilton.” It took Miranda about a month to write it, and it sets in motion the show’s tragic element, how passion unfulfilled — in this case, Angelica’s for Alexander — eventually tears apart Hamilton and those around him. The song, which includes ingeniously rhymed rap to dramatize the dizzying sophistication of Angelica’s own intellect, begins as Angelica’s toast to the marriage of Hamilton to her sister, Eliza; Angelica has introduced her to Hamilton during the previous song, Eliza’s “Helpless.”

“I liked the idea of a wedding toast,” Miranda says. “I’ve been to enough wedding toasts where the wrong things tumble out.”

“To your union,” Angelica sings in the five-minute-plus number’s opening segment, “And the hope that you provide/May you always/Be satisfied.” What then follows is what the song identifies as a “rewind”: going back to the events of “Helpless,” but told now from Angelica’s anguished perspective, in a way that crystallizes a pivotal facet of her character. “I remember that night, I might regret that night for the rest of my days,” she sings, in the song’s defining line.

In returning to that moment, Kail says, “we realized that there was an opportunity for Lin to play with the timeline, and the way that we moved through time.” That concept would repeat itself at another climactic moment of “Hamilton,” in the freeze-frame rendering of the bullet that fatally strikes Hamilton in his duel with Aaron Burr. It was not an original idea, actually: The creative team was borrowing a cinematic technique, one of many they use in the show.

Kail says: “This is something I talk to the actors playing Angelica a lot — about ‘Ratatouille’ ” — the 2007 animated movie about the rat that becomes a Parisian chef.

“Totally ‘Ratatouille’ ” Blankenbuehler interjects. “We use it as a verb and an adjective.”

Kail explains that the freezing of time in “Hamilton” has its parallel in the moment in the film when the food critic, voiced by the late Peter O’Toole, has an epiphany as he savors a piece of food.

“When the critic takes the bite, and you go into the critic’s eye, that’s what we’re doing,” the director says. In other words, the instant in which the cartoon critic samples the food stops time; viewers are given a protracted, imagistic impression of what is happening in the critic’s mind. That same stopping of time occurs in “Satisfied.”

“I love that, sonically, it takes someplace we haven’t been to before,” adds Lacamoire, the music director and orchestrator. For Blankenbuehler, the choreographer, “Satisfied” was a feast of new possibility, too: “I think the first time I heard the song was at a reading,” he says. “And I just remember the right hand on the piano, and the tinkles, and I instantly saw women suspended, like on top of a cake, like on pointe, like how things rotate on a wedding cake.”

But perhaps the most complicated choreographic element of “Satisfied” is what happens in the interlude in which prerecorded voices take us into the “rewind” portion of the song. Because the dancing ensemble, assembled for the wedding, physically rewinds, too, to the movement of “Helpless.”

“All of ‘Helpless’ goes counterclockwise,” Blankenbuehler explains. “So when you rewind in ‘Satisfied,’ and for just a moment you go clockwise, you understand it. When they dance in ‘Helpless’ and ‘Satisfied,’ the same dance movement matches both lyrics.”

[. . .]

It feels as though these guys could talk about this one song all day. But they all have other places to be. So maybe Miranda captures the essence of collaboration best as he listens to his longtime colleagues talk about their approaches to “Satisfied,” and then says with a laugh:

“These are all the things I do not see when I write a song!”

[dearkatherineplumber]

My Hamilton Experience (9/14/19)

I saw Hamilton for my second time a week ago today and I'm still in awe. Seeing the show a second time was not something I thought I'd ever do, but to see it from the mezzanine with a whole new cast (for the most part) was something special.

The Cast

Jimmie Jeter (Hamilton): HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS SO TALENTED! I absolutely LOVE when understudies are on and Jimmie is THE perfect Hamilton. He's got this incredible energy and you can tell how into the show he is. He was also insanely nice at the stagedoor and was so polite and willing to take pictures. Truly a class act.

Raven Thomas (Eliza): her Burn was other worldly! Raven plays a very kind, intellectual, and knowledgeable Eliza. She knows her intentions in every line and they are bold choices that add a new dimension to Eliza.

Daniel Breaker (Burr): A BURR YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OR SEEN BEFORE! Daniel makes choices that are new and so different from any other Burr that you feel as if you're meeting a new character. I loved his "Your Obedient Servant" and also his parts in "Nonstop".

Mandy Gonzalez (Angelina): I saw Mandy as Angelica when I saw Hamilton the first time and it's so astouding to see that she has become an even better Angelica somehow. I love her voice and "Satisfied" was amazing (duh). She's the best.

Nicholas Christopher (Washington): SO good! I loved the collected, poignant, driven Washington he plays. His voice is gorgeous and "One Last Time" was something special.

Kyle Scatliffe (Lafayette/Jefferson): HEY THIS GUY IS SO TALENTED AND UNDERRATED! Kyle is amazing as Lafayette but he SHINES as Jefferson. He made "What'd I Miss" my favorite number. I loved his and Jimmie's chemistry on stage and they really played to Jeff and Ham's rivalry. And, he was so nice at the stagedoor! Very polite and humble :)

Wallace Smith (Mulligan/Madison): No clue on how Wallace is able to be a completely different person in Act 1 and Act 2. If I didn't know Mulligan/Madison are always the same person, I'd have thought he was a different guy; that's how different his characters are and it's PERFECT. He plays an electric Mulligan and then a reserved and sickly Madison. Spectacular performance!

Marc delaCruz (Laurens/Philip): AMAZING! So perfect in both of the roles and it's so baffling to me that he can play both roles so perfectly despite not playing them everyday. Marc was also very kind at the stagedoor. I hope to see him in shows in the future.

Joanna A. Jones (Peggy/Maria): I was so excited to see Joanna! She is so talented and she does some really cool riffs in "Say No To This". So talented!

Andrew Chappelle (King George III): I WAS SO HAPPY ANDREW WAS ON! I've done a master class with Andrew and run into him multiple times in NYC. He was also Burr when I saw Hamilton in 2016 and it was cool to see him in a completely different role. I'm so glad he was on and he is HILARIOUS as KG3.

Thayne Jasperson (Seabury): OKAY I WAS THE MOST EXCITED TO SEE THAYNE WAS ON! I didn't see Thayne last time and I was SO glad to see he was on this time. He's such a talented dancer and a fantastic Seabury. He's hilarious! Thankful I saw him!

Justice Moore (bullet): I know she's not labeled "the bullet" in the Playbill but I was just so excited to see Justice! I've been following her for awhile and every time she was on stage, I was drawn to her. She's the coolest omg.

Ensemble: THEY MAKE HAMILTON WHAT IT IS. Without the ensemble, I wouldn't love the songs I love. I loved the slowed down choreo they do when Burr sings "I wanna be in the room..." during "Your Obedient Servant". They kill it in every song and they deserve all of the love, especially since they play roles like James Reynolds, the doctor, Philip Schuyler, etc. THEY'RE AMAZING!

General Notes

I'm still blown away by the choreo and staging. Seeing it from the mezzanine allowed me to soak it all in. Insanely amazing.

The! Lighting! Is! So! Cool!

Hey let's shout out David Korins for a second because the set is just GORGEOUS!

Andy's choreo > everything else

Everyone is so nice at the stagedoor! They really take their time.

My first SNOB (Saturday Night On Broadway) was pretty incredible 💙