#*5 seconds before being gunned down* oh what a cutie | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonfox281 · 5 years ago

Note

Can you make a fic about John having his friend Jensen over to his house? Ya know, mobwife! Au? And John being so nervous while Dick and Jason try to embarrass him in front of his friend

“Can I get a friend over?”

John dropped the question right before dinner, right when the table was about to be ready.

“A friend?” Dick asked, then quickly gasped. “A girlfriend?!”

“No, what the fuck? I said friend. Jensen!”

“5 bucks, buddy.” Jason grabbed the swear jar and handed it over to John’s face. Dick’s customized “swear jar”, it was. It used to be just a real jar made off from an old jam jar, but since it was Jason and John living in the house, it soon turned into a whole casserole pot. Dick so far had contributed 12 dollars.

“And you want him over for…”

“Homework, what else can it be? I’ve got buttloads of homework and an exam next week and I’m not letting any douchebag in my class laugh at me again.”

“Just homework, huh?” Jason smirked.

“Ye...yeah? Can you make it sound less gay, or bi, or whatever? I have a thing for boobs and a girl I’ve crushed for over a year? He’s got no boobs and a dick.”

“Yeah, Dickie here used to be surrounded by boobs, and guess where he landed? Me. I have a dick too.”

Dick whacked Jason in the head with the kitchen towel and pushed the plates onto his hands. “Stop messing with him and get the table ready.” And then he slapped Jason’s hand off his butt.

“So can I have him like, over? Just aking, if you guys don’t want to we can go to a coffee-”

“No no no, have him over.” Dick put the clay pot down the middle of the table and suddenly froze. “On second thought, have him over the penthouse.”

“Good idea, have him over the penthouse so he can be the talk of the school the next day.”

“Pop!!!”

Dick whacked Jason in the head again. “Security first, remember?”

“It’s Jensen.”

“And we don’t want anything bad to happen to Jensen, do we?”

Jason nodded. “You heard him.”

“But he’ll make fun of me!”

“I’ll make sure he gets something else to talk about other than the scale of our house.”

And Dick whacked Jason in the head with his palm, again.

“Okay, that’s it, I’ll just go to his house.”

“Stop worrying, Jason’s only joking. We’re not going to scare him away, he’s your only friend.”

“Yeah...wait, he’s not my only friend.”

“Jefferson and Hank don’t count. Just because they slipped you into a bar behind my back and play football with you at the park every weekend, doesn’t make them your age-appropriate friends.”

“Dad took me into a bar too.”

“Oh did he?” Dick turned and glared at his husband, who cowardly held the plates and cutleries and ran away.

_______________________________________________________

When Jensen got a text from John about the address, he thought he was hallucinating. Last time he checked, his best friend was living in Crime Alley, not rolling around on the floor on top of one of Gotham’s biggest skyscrapers penthouse.

They even got their own elevator, and a hotline number down the reception desk. And that elevator even had a hand scan lock.

And that son of a bitch said he didn’t go to school by a limo!

The elevator music was Death of a Bachelor. Once Jensen got out, there was a lounge with a red velvet couch, glass table, dark wood furniture and Persian carpet. Not even meeting the owners yet and Jensen had already felt like leaving.

There was a door. He came to it, intended to knock when the door opened on its own.

“Hello there.”

It was Richard Grayson.

Oh fucking God. It was Richard Grayson. And Richard Grayson was the loudest pretty face Jensen had ever ever met.

He was so beautiful it felt like he was slapping people in the face with those soft kind eyes.

“Nice to see you, again.”

Jensen stayed frozen on his feet, because that was what a sensible person did when facing Richard Grayson, right? He looked even more gorgeous up close. But of course, Jensen was more than just sensible, he was the cool action guy that got a lot more up their sleeves than what they flashed outside. He collected himself fast enough and leaned over with his forearm on the frame.

Okay, it looked way cooler in his head, which he kinda accidentally picture Richard Grayson was shorter than him, and in reality, he wasn’t.

“I...um...I’m Jesen, you probably...uh, don’t remember me.”

“Of course I remember you. You’re John’s friend.”

“Really?” Oh god, he was so sweet. And his teeth, they were so...white.

“And you’re the kid that got knocked out by a softball in the middle of PE. I held your head to stop your nosebleed.”

Okay, Jensen was going home now.

“Dude!”

John jumped out from behind his father’s back. It was just the start of last year that he was still the scrawny kid with a shady attitude and hid himself in the corner of the classroom like a bat in a cave. Look at him now, a reserve midfielder standing head to head with his dad with his bare arms out in that rolled up Queen tee and a big dick energy. He looked like one of those guys who used to tuck Jesen in the locker room, even though he was now the one scaring off those guys.

Puberty hit him like a Superman punch.

“Whatcha doing out there? Get in.”

John’s hot father smiled down at him and left the door. When John came over, he looked like he wanted to punch Jensen in the face.

“Quit it or I punch you in the face.”

He knew his best friend.

“Look, I’ve got enough straight people being bent like an elastic ruler by pop. And I kinda don’t want you on the list behind my dad’s gun...”

“Haha, that’s funny. Relax, he’s your dad.” Even when he was such a DILF.

“Okay. That wasn’t a joke though.”

He really got Jensen with the serious face he put on.

The house looked like it was scraped off from some lousy pages of Fifty Shades. Shoes off wooden floor, lights everywhere, and a whole lot of windows. Half of the place was literally glass. The living room alone looked bigger than their school cafeteria.

Great, his best friend turned out to live a Great Gatsby life behind his back and he couldn’t even let Jensen borrow his Xbox.

“Dude, my room. Come one.”

Jensen quit staring and followed his friend’s feet. “Dude, last time I checked, your house was in Crime Alley.”

“No, it’s not. You checked it wrong.”

“The fuck? So you just round Crime Alley for fun then jump back to Diamond District?”

“No, I go to Crime Alley to sell drugs then fly my way back here with my own chopper parked on top of this building.”

“Really?”

“No, you fucking idiot!”

“I heard that!” John’s father's voice echoed back from somewhere in the house. Literally, this place was so massive Jensen couldn’t remember where he had passed through. There were so many doors, and everywhere was either white or wood cover walls, or full glass windows. And it was a particularly sunny day in Gotham, the lights just hit Jensen right in the face.

“So, where’s your other dad?”

“He’s out shopping… Why do you care about my dad?”

Okay, if he had to admit to himself, Jensen must say John’s dad left a very striking impression to him the last time they met.

“I like him.”

John burst out laughing. “Yeah, no shit. You won’t be liking him once you get to know him.” And then he muttered something else under his breath that Jensen couldn’t hear.

“What? He seems cool, but nice.” Way cooler than Jensen’s dad, to be frank. He had nothing against his dad, but his old man didn’t exactly sport a leather jacket and kicked off a Hummer bumper looking like he was cool with running over people and got away with it.

His own dad was a lawyer and served his time and energy to people that got run over by people like John’s dad, and lost.

“What’s he buying?”

“Dinner grocery- Okay, that’s it. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Dude, the father of my best friend is Richard Grayson, who secretly married an attractive mysterious man and now you’re living in a penthouse and your grandfather is Bruce Wayne. I may or may not about to fail PE but I'd be dumber than those football jocks to not be curious.”

“Dude, is this why you begged me to come over to my house? For this shit?”

“That’s Richard Grayson!” Jensen shouted back under his breath.

“That’s it. Get in.”

John shoved Jensen into his room and shouted “Don’t fucking get out!” before slamming the door shut. If Jensen wasn’t so distracted by his room, he would have probably shouted back something.

His room was probably bigger than Jensen’s family living room. No, not probably. Definitely.

Ah, he knew John was the Patriot kind of guy. The number of blue posters in his room. He had a three monitors setup, which had looked so cool until Jensen turned on his feet and caught a bed full of clothes.

Dude…

He was no better than Jensen at all.

He was about to go look around, when there was a huffing sound coming from somewhere inside the room. He turned round and round on his feet, trying to work out what the hell was that sound, until he saw something came out from under the bed…

“UAaahhhhhhh!!!”

Jensen rammed headfirst on John’s dad when he zoomed across the hallway.

“Jensen! What’s wrong?”

“There’s a lion inside the house!”

“A what!?”

And just because his luck was shitty, the thing had run after him too. Jensen threw all his pride out of the window and jumped behind John’s father’s back.

“That!” He pointed his finger on the furry thing.

“That? Oh, there you are.” John’s father laughed and knelt down on his knee, calling the thing over. “Have you slept in John’s room again, my cutie bear?”

The thing rubbed his head over John’s father’s hand. And for crap sake, it was even bigger than him.

“Jensen, this isn't a lion. This is Beast.”

“Beast?”

“Yes, our family’s dog. He’s a Tibetan Mastiff.”

“He doesn’t look like a dog.”

“What are you saying? He’s the cutest thing ever. Aren’t you boy?”

Okay, John’s dad was hotter than a Christmas turkey fresh out of the oven, but there was something seriously wrong with his eyes.

That thing he was petting, was a deadly creature of hell.

The dog suddenly barked and ran off. Jensen swore a part of his soul had left his body.

“Oh, Jason’s home. Let’s go down.”

They went downstairs after the dog. Halfway down the staircase, Jensen saw him, finally. There was no leather jacket this time, only a long coat. If he had looked like a cool biker last time they met, then this time, he looked more like a businessman. More like someone’s farther.

“Honey, John. I’m home.” He shouted while setting the grocery bags down the floor to pet the dog.

He looked even bigger, up close. Jensen hurt his neck trying to take a good look at him. Slicked back hair, black and grey from head to toes, gold watch, and gloves. That was so unfair, not only did he look like an attractive killer, but he also dressed better than two-third of the people in this city.

“Hey, Jay.” John’s father went over and went on his tiptoes to kiss his...well, other father. Okay, now Jensen understood why John addressed his fathers by name sometimes, this got really confusing.

“This is Jensen.”

His father pulled off his gloves and smirked. “Hey, young man. You’re having fun?”

“Ye...yes sir.” Jensen blurted out of nowhere. Okay, he did not mean that!

Both of them stared at Jensen like he had grown a second head.

“Okay…” He glanced at his husband and pushed a bag onto his hands. “How about you help me bring this in the kitchen. Straight to the living room then turn right.”

That was a save. The last thing Jensen needed was embarrassing himself even more, so he dashed into the kitchen without looking back.

Surprise surprise, he found John there.

“Dude! I told you to stay in my fucking room!”

“Excuse me, asshead. There’s a fucking lion under your bed! And everyone is OKAY with it! What the hell is wrong with your family?!”

“First of all, Beast is a beauty, don’t you fucking dare insult him. Second, you’re the one that begged to come here. You think I want you drooling over my dad and then soon get a blood and bullet talk from my other dad?”

“Why… just, why do you always have to say it like your dad is a serial killer?! Just because I like your dad doesn't mean you have to act like he’s the fucking Red Hood.”

“Oh ho no, you fucking take that back.”

Outside the living room, Jason and Dick hid behind a wall poking their heads in watching the two boys screaming their necks at each other.

“Are they fighting in the kitchen?”

“They are fighting in the kitchen.”

“I have frozen berries and fishes to put away and they’re screaming and swearing in the kitchen.”

“At this point, the swear jar’s gonna earn John enough for a convertible.”

Dick shrugged. “Or two minivans.”

“Haha, right… You’re not gonna actually buy our son two minivans instead of a convertible, right?”

“It’s money from a swear jar. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

Jason looked back and gulped. “Babe, the fishes need to go now. Beast is sniffing through the bags.”

“Break them off then.”

“What am I supposed to do? Pretend the house is on fire?”

“We have an automatic fire distinguisher system. That’s not gonna work. Pretend you want to show him your gun collection, also, give him a talk about alcohol and drugs. You know kids this age.”

“Dick, I’m starting to think you want me to play the bad guy. Is it not enough with our alter egos?”

“What are you talking about? The JL loves you.”

Yeah, they loved Jason so bad they sprayed holy water after each step he took inside their facility. The Lanterns called them Hades and Persephone behind their backs, for Christ's sake.

“Honey, I think Beast took one of the fishes out. Beast, buddy, spit that out. Yours are in the freezer.”

“Alright, that’s it.”

Jason walked into the kitchen just in time when the boys had each other’s collar by their fists. Great, boys would be boys, they said. Well, boys would be animals if not educated, he said.

Nobody got to bleed in that kitchen except for Jason.

“Gym room, now.”

Jensen looked over John. “You guys have a gym room?”

“Oh just shut the fuck up.”

Jason pushed the swear jar at John’s face before hushing both of the boys out of the kitchen. On the way, he held Jensen’s head with both his hands just so the boy didn’t see how Dick sweet-talked Beast to give him back the fish in his mouth.

________________________________________

It wasn’t until all three of them stood frozen staring at each other in the gym room that Jason realized he had no idea how to handle this situation.

Usually Dick was blessed in this category, and Jason’s best impression in loosening the knot was pulling out the gun and turning all attention on him.

“So um… you play anything, Jensen?”

The boy looked over John like he was begging for help before answering. “Overwatch and LOL...”

“He meant sport, dumbass.”

“Oh… not really...”

“Huh, so you’re the bullied kind.”

“Dad!”

“What? I’m just being honest. You looked like the type that gets squeezed in a locker or gets clothes stolen after PE.”

Okay, John wasn’t going to admit it aloud, but both of those had happened to Jensen before.

“Don’t get offended by it, okay? John used to lock himself in the bathroom for 30 minutes before he figured out the door opens the other way.”

“Oh.My.God. Dad!!!”

“What? It’s not even half as embarrassing as the time you got in the washing machine just because you saw 10 bucks in there and the door slammed shut so Dick had to get you out.”

“Okay now you’re doing this on purpose. Pop!!!”

Jason was pretty sure it was Dick John was calling on top of his lungs. And yep, it was Dick running at the door a few seconds later.

“Who died?” was the first thing he said. When nobody seemed to be dying, he put a hand over his chest and waved off them like they had jumped scared him. “God, it’s just you three? You made me think grandfather bought Walmart or something.”

All four of them stared at each other. And the first thing Jensen could think of when he turned over to his best friend, was pity.

“Dude, you’re gonna die a virgin.”

_________________________________________

Lunch was grilled tilapia on lemon, chicken salad, soybean paste soup and cold noodles, with a blueberry New York cheesecake for dessert. Okay, that was what John’s dad said. Jensen didn’t even know what the hell was a tilapia until he tasted it.

One more thing Jensen learned today, rich people equal healthy home-cooked diets. Honestly, tofu had never tasted that great in his life until now.

“So, um, you’re a stay-at-home dad, Mr. Grayson?”

John’s dad smiled and took a sipped of his white wine. The way he drank oozed refinement of someone who lived on the top of the hierarchy. “It does seem like that, doesn’t it? No, actually I’m not. I’m on the board of advisory for Wayne Foundation.”

Wayne Foundation. Of course he was in Wayne Foundation.

“Really? That’s so cool. My parents and I have come over the building sometimes. It’s always a change of sight in the urban area.”

“Well, it conveys its positioning even on the visual aspect. I only visit the office every now and then though, I mostly take care of things at home.”

“Wow, that’s so admirable. So, what do you do?”

John’s other dad coughed a little when the question hit. Jensen wasn’t being rude, was he?

“Don’t choke on your food, honey.” Mr. Grayson gave his husband a smile that raised a little hair down the back of Jensen’s neck.

“Well, how do I explain… I take care of shipments and cargoes, in and out of this city and some others.”

“You mean, like, trade and logistics?”

“Yes, somewhat like that. I’m surprised, not a lot of kids your age know those terms of words.”

“Dad, he’s half Asian. Not knowing something is kinda insulting.”

“Yeah right, who am I kidding. He’s not you, I’m sure iGEM couldn’t be easier than separating red and white in a laundry batch, right?”

John turned beet red in a second. Jensen wasn’t sure how to react to that. But, because he was a good person with a kind heart and the will of a hero, he decided to save his best friend's ass.

“So, what do you take care of mostly?” And they were back on the game.

John’s dad coughed again, this time he relaxed himself by chunking down his glass. “Substance…. Medicines. All good things in life. I help the medical industry a lot. And also...adult...limited... equipment.”

Adult limited equipment? He didn’t mean sex toys, right?

This time it was Mr. Grayson choking in his drink.

“Aaand also I run a liquor shop. That’s right, I have a liquor shop, a French restaurant, a motel, two garages and a newspaper booth. And also an instruction compan-Ouch!”

What the…

“Nothing. I just...bit on my own tongue...” He glanced over to Mr. Grayson, who calmly ate his food like he wasn’t even interested in the conversation.

“...I thought you work in trade and logistics.”

“A man can multitask, young man.”

“That much?”

“Hey, nothing is impossible if you know how to dream big and work hard.”

“Wow, that’s so inspiring...Hold on, last time John told me you work in the supply sector.”

“Okay, who’s ready for dessert?”

__________________________________________

Lunch was a disaster. If grandpa suddenly visiting with an out of character announcement and a heart to heart talk was a third-degree disaster, this was a fifth-degree.

Now not only John was gonna die a virgin, he was gonna die a lonely virgin.

Now that they found peace in John’s room and finally, finally, got to studying, a new problem arose.

Was it John or Jensen was being too cool with everything?

“Jensen,”

“Hold on, I’m wrestling with number 9 on Earth Science.”

“You already got to number 9?”

“Hey, I skipped 5 and 7.”

See, he was acting totally normal. And that got John’s pants all twisted.

He thought about it, really. If he was Jensen, he would be taking this so easily like this. It was just the other day when he half-joked about wanting to visit one of the Wayne Towers… Well, now he had skipped all the steps and jumped his ass on the penthouse on top of one of those buildings.

John was still fidgeting for his words when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

Papa came in all dressed up with orange slices, ice creams and juices. “I hope you guys can catch a break.”

“Thank you, Mr. Grayson.”

“Don’t stress too much. John, if there’s anything too difficult, just call Aunt Babs or Uncle Tim, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jensen pulled John over and whispered in his ears. “By Uncle Tim, did he mean Timothy Drake? The ex W.E CEO?”

“Yeah, that’s my uncle.”

Papa went over to ruffle his head. “You and Dad take care of dinner tonight, roger? I forgot some papers at the penthouse so I have to go get them now. After that, I have a meeting at Wayne Tower until 7, so I’d probably be home late.”

“Okay.”

“You two have fun. And Jensen,”

“Yes?”

“You just tell my husband whenever you want to go home. He’ll send someone.”

He shut the door just in time for the two of them to hear him calling after Dad asking if the car had arrived. Next to John, Jensen’s eyes were glowing.

Ah, here they went again.

“He looks like he just walked off a runway.”

Okay, on his defense, Papa was a model every now and then.

“How many penthouses do you guys have?”

“Well, just this one and the one top of the Wayne Foundation buil...Hey, I know whatcha doing!”

“What I’m doing?”

“Yeah, that’s right motherfucker. You’ve been hiding it this whole time, but you’re secretly running through your head right. This and that and oh his dad is so handsome, his dog is so big and his other dad looks like the kind of guy who walks off an exploding car with a smoke in his mouth. Well listen here, you can snip those to Gotham Gazette or those Gotham Knight wannabes or whoever you want, my pop is a goddess and Beast is my boy, and my dad can parallel park his Hummer with his legs. Say whatever you want, I may be Princess Mia and you may be Lily, but you’re my Lily! You stick through this shit till the end, you hear me?”

John literally poured his heart out that his head was spinning a little.

“Did you just refer us as The Princess Diaries?”

“You- you only got that?”

“Dude, you watch The Princess Diaries!?”

“Shut up! My dad made me!” He didn’t. Sorry, dad.

“Can you calm down first?”

“You calm down. I am calm!”

“Why are you yelling!”

And just when John was about to scream back, his dad stuck his head in by the door.

“I knocked, no one listened. You know I can hear you from across the hall, right?”

“Daaaaad!”

“Okay okay, geez.”

Once his dad left, they immediately forgot what to say. It was a break of flow, and John honestly didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad thing. So when Jensen picked up his Earth Science papers and fixed his throat, John knew they were back on the usual pace.

About an hour or two later, when John was biting his nails for a question, Jesen suddenly broke the silence.

“I don’t care, you know.”

John blinked. He almost thought he had heard it wrong . “What?”

“I don’t care about...well, all of this. I don’t have to come here to know you live a different world than mine. Your dad is a celebrity, J, and your other dad.... Well, whoever or whatever he does. I don’t care. You’re kind to me, and you’ve stayed kind even when you can have gone and become one of those guys at our school. But you didn’t, so if you don’t change, why should I?”

John lost his words. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jensen, it just that… this was a lot to take in. Not even including the vigilantes part, Papa being who he was, Dad being who he was, and them being together and taking John in and giving him all of...this. It sure felt like the universe coming all at once for him. It still put him at daze thinking this was his life from now on in some sleepless nights.

So he didn’t expect much from his friend. He couldn’t have.

Guess he must have thought too little of Jensen.

“By the way, your toilet looks more expensive than my healthcare.”

Okay, John took it back.

“Does this mean you’re gonna forget about the 20 bucks?”

“Oh hey, you owe me 20 bucks, asshole.”

“Oh come one, you live in a castle on the sky, just forget about it.”

“That’s not even my money. My parents gave me that.”

“Right… Hey,”

“Yeah?”

“Did I ever tell you I went to iGEM last year?”

John snorted.

“What’s an iGEM?”

___________________________________

Jason washed his face and came back with a warm towel. Dick laid spread on the bed, heaving. Just one of those rare nights they went to patrol on peaceful streets and got off early. Well, they better spend the spare energy for some quality time before hitting the bed for real, right?

“Water?”

Dick sat up and leaned over the headboard. “Thank you.”

He drank with eagerness when Jason cleaned him. He had to change the sheet after this.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Still hot?” He swiped Dick’s hair back and checked his forehead.

“Not anymore.” Dick set the bottle down and suddenly grabbed on his arm, pulling him down. The dry towel he set on the table was snatched and flopped on his head.

Jason knew this cue, so he slipped off the bed, hung Dick’s legs on his shoulders and kissed his thigh as Dick dried his hair. There was a hickey there, just on his calf, what a shame he had to wear pants.

“You slipped today, did you know?”

“Well, gotta give that kid something to think about on the way home.”

“You didn’t have too.” Oh, but the way Dick said it made Jason understand he was smiling mischievously behind his back.

“You know, he’s a very nice kid.”

“I know. The best our punk can have in that school. This is exactly what we wanted for John, you know. Having a nerd friend, crushing over girls, getting bullied and going on fistfights and growing up from all of that. He’s had enough when he was on the street, I wanted him to at least live like a kid for a time. Gotham Academy may sound fancy, but he doesn’t belong there, just like I never did, he’s not gonna get to be a child among those silver spoon licking pricks.”

Dick stopped his hands and touched his cheek, looking down from where he sat on the bed. “I was one of those pricks, you know? The children aren’t...wrong. They just never get to live their ages.”

“I guess being born with a million-dollar last name means you come out of the womb with a speech instead of crying.”

Dick wiggled his toes when he hummed an old Romanian lullaby, the one Jason never knew the name, but remembered every melody. He used to sing this song whenever it rained big enough outside for nightmares to creep in, now? Simply feeling the familiar warmth by his side, did the trick.

“You know, I never liked the Academy.”

“Really?” That was surprising to know. All the kids at the school never shut up about him.

“Yeah, some kids there were mean, and their parents were even worse. They used to call names behind my back, Circus freak, Gypsy boy, Esmeralda...”

“I’m not even sure if Esmeralda is an insult.”

“You should have seen the Principal’s face when Bruce threatened to cut down financial support if he couldn’t get the situation handled. And things would look worse on papers, right? A billionaire filing a complaint about his son’s study, doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, it’ll be bad for the school. So of course, Bruce was being Bruce, and him doing that only made the situation worse.”

“So what did you do?”

Dick leaned down and kissed his hair. “Nothing. I changed, made friends, became one of them. I survived.”

Jason took the towel off his shoulder and climbed over his husband. Dick’s stomach was warm, his muscle was decent, but not too hard. Jason’s personal body pillow, very good to heal the soul.

“I won’t let anything like that happen to our John.”

“I know. But when it comes, let it come. I want John to understand how this world works. The sooner he learns, the less painful it will get.”

“It’s like learning Superman is scared of rock.”

“Oh leave Clark out of this. He could be listening.”

“Yeah? Well, I have a better idea.” Jason opened the drawer and took out a condom. “Why don’t we, let’s say, scare him away?”

Dick huffed but he rested his naked leg on Jason’s shoulder. “So young, but that’s a debatable idea.”

The night was still young, just like they were too.

#jaydick #mob wife au #writing prompt #My writing

125 notes · View notes

not-a-christmas-tree · 4 years ago

Text

i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!

so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!

ACT ONE

(Look Down-WHID)

starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me.

note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.

okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.

the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.

(At The End Of The Day)

in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe

OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)

Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part

foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao

(I Dreamed A Dream)

her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting

her transitions from chest to head voice are so good

i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good

she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine

the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing

(The Dock Scenes)

MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department)

oh male prostitute is prostitute #1!

oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.

hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)

there are cops on the docks. gross.

(Who Am I-Confrontation)

OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I

jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)

fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors.

jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—

confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR

JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY

(COAC-Master Of The House)

oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN

MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD

DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--

cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg

what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—

WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L

random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes

him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it

OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him

i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh?

(The Bargain)

I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG

Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN

also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING

JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT

(The Beggars)

omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him

gavroche is a style icon

kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB

i love éponine

that’s it that’s the note

wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??

ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY

why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me

marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰

bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious

jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it

javert looks so cop-like it scares me

(Stars)

the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?

has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.

THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺

(The ABC Café)

“note-ruh daym”

hee hee pretty enjolras

pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better

OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y

grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg

“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*

“dan joo-wan” i love texas

bossuet spotted :)

longing gay looks NOT spotted :(

i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.

A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES

the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy

okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes

OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU

hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!

HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH

(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)

okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY.

book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie

father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺

awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE

placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism

marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg

*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette

*awkward curtsy* also same cosette

(Attack On Rue Plumet)

robbery time let’s see how they do this

ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running

thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream

NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN

(One Day More)

this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things

red berets on the amis are dope btw

i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book

omg

OMG

that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

END OF ACT ONE

act two will be posted shortly :D

#enjoy my super long analysis on WHID and Stars lmao #i went ham with the english brain #les mis #les miserables #dallas theater company #modern les mis #les amis de l'abc #les amis

16 notes · View notes

iamvegorott · 6 years ago

Text

Undercover Love Ch. 37

“Looks like you guys had a much harder time than us,” Wilford commented when he saw the group. They were hidden inside of a barely lit room, the pink in Wilford’s eyes showing that their sounds were being blocked. “Did you get shot!?” He added much louder when he saw the blood on Dark’s shirt.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just need another second,” Dark grunted as he finally stood up. “We lost Blank.”

“Lost...you have to be fucking kidding me.” Wilford saw that Anti was on the ground and holding Blank, silently crying.

“Anti’s...he’s out of it.” Dark rubbed his neck.

“My level?”

“Basically.”

“Fuck.”

“She’s just unconscious,” Bim explained to Jackie as he had Yandere laying in his arms. “She got hit in the chest really bad.”

“We should send her back to the Headquarters with the others,” Jackie suggested.

“I’m going back with her, I’m practically useless in these kinds of fights without her,” Bim said.

“Goog’s hurt too,” Bing said, looking at Google’s sliced palm.

“I’m not going back,” Google stated. “It’s just a little cut, I can’t even feel it.”

“It’s more than just a little cut.” Bing huffed.

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“Then I’ll go back with you.”

“We need as many of us as possible,” Dark stated. “We already lost Yandere and Bim and our group is small enough already.”

“We’re down to just eight of us, seven since Anti is hit or miss right now.” Wilford sighed.

“Send Google back, he can’t fight while missing a hand.” Bing pleaded.

“Bing, no-” Google was stopped by disappearing in the same pink cloud as before. Yandere, Bim and Blank’s body were now missing from the room as well.

“He’s going to kick your ass when we get back,” Wilford stated.

“I know,” Bing said softly.

“Chase, are you good to go?” Dark asked, noticing that Chase hasn’t spoken and was just starting off.

“I’m getting my husband back,” Chase said in a low tone.

“You will,” Dark said in an attempt to be supportive but he wasn’t sure if it came across correctly.

“Thanks.” Chase gave Dark a pat on the shoulder.

“There’s my Jamie-bear.” Wilford greeted JJ when the suddenly appeared next to him. “What’s the news?”

“I found Marvin,” JJ said, eyes going wide when Chase suddenly grabbed him by the upper arms.

“Where is he? Is he okay?” Chase asked, voice heavy with worry. JJ just looked at Chase before glancing down and back up, making a face to show that Chase was preventing him from answering.

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” Chase took a step back and released JJ. “I got a little...sorry.”

“Marvin five rooms through hallway.” JJ started explaining. “People but they shadows around rooms.”

“Mare must have summoned them,” Dark said. “I can barely summon one shadow and he has an army?”

“He has the physical strength slightly higher than the average man,” Bing stated. “If he was as strong as you Google’s hand would have been gone and not just cut.”

“Equal overall but stronger in different fields,” Dark said to himself.

“We’ll worry about that later, we need to get Marvin first,” Chase said.

“But they’re weakened right now, we can finish them off,” Dark argued.

“We’re weakened too.” Chase countered. “Half of us are gone and half of us here aren’t fully okay either. You’ve been shot, I can’t think straight, Anti’s distraught. Going after Mare and Phantom again won’t end well at all, especially since there’s another one of them that we don’t know anything about

“I wouldn’t say anything.” A strange voice giggled from above. “The name’s MadPat, it’s a long story of how I got it, but you can call me Mad for short.”

“How did he get in!?” Wilford shouted in confusion, taking a step back when a man suddenly appeared in front of him, a purple hue surrounding him.

“Magic, my dear Wilford, or should I say madness, my dear William?” Mad went away again before Wilford could react.

“Do. Not. Call. Me. That.” Wilford said between gritted teeth.

“Wilford? You okay?” JJ asked, getting cut off from going to Wilford by the man.

“And who’s this little cutie?” Mad poked at JJ’s nose, popping away and ending up next to JJ. “You were signing, weren’t you?” Mad was now on the other side. “Can’t talk?” Now he was in front of JJ. “Don’t worry, I can talk plenty for both of us.” Mad grabbed JJ’s face and pulled him in for a kiss, only stopping when Wilford grabbed him by the collar of the shirt and tossed him across the room. “We were having a moment, William,” Mad said with mock offense, standing next to Wilford as if he had never been moved.

“Gross.” JJ signed before stepping up to Mad and slapping him across the face.

“Oh, feisty~” Mad flashed his sharp teeth, tucking them away when JJ grabbed one of Wilford’s guns and aimed it at his face. Mad was gone right when JJ fired and the bullet went into the wall. “I can see why you’re in love, William.” Mad sang from above again, laying out on one of the ceiling beams.

“Stop calling me that!” Wilford screamed and took out one of his own guns and fired a few times.

“You should really work on your aim,” Mad said from behind Wilford, now standing beside Bing when Wilford spun around and ended up punching air. “You have way too much of a soft soul for a literal robot.” Mad stated to Bing. “Shocking with how much hatred you’ve have handed to you by the one that claims to love you now.”

“Fuck off!” Bing tried to shove Mad away, but he was now with Jackie.

“Holy shit, you’ve let so many people die!” Mad laughed. “Oh, and your library friend-” Mad had to pop away before getting a faceful of fist from Jackie. “Dead kids, damn.” Was all Mad said to Chase before going to Dark, actually pausing for a second. “You are like Mare...scarily like Mare.” Mad tilted his head. “Dude, that’s messed up.” Mad only hummed when Anti grabbed him from behind. “That doesn’t work with...what?” Mad tried to pop away but couldn’t. “What the hell!? What the hell!?” Panic was in Mad’s voice. “Only Blank can-holy shit it’s a Virus! Not fair! What the fuck are you guys!? First, the cat dude blocking me out and now this!?” Mad started to squirm. “Let go, let go, let go!” Mad went stiff when Chase’s hand was on his throat.

“Take us to Marvin,” Chase demanded harshly.

“Cat dude?” Mad gagged a little when Chase squeezed. “Cat dude, cat dude!” He repeated as confirmation. “Okay, okay, okay! Let me go and I will!” Anti looked at Chase and let go of Mad when Chase nodded his head and within a blink, everyone was in a completely different room.

“Marvin!” Chase cried out when he saw Marvin, the real Marvin, sitting in the center. “Marvin! Oh God Marvin! I’m here, I’m here!” Chase rushed over and fell to his knees in front of Marvin.

“He’s not wearing his mask,” Wilford whispered to Dark. “Should we look away?”

“Marv...what did they do to you?” Chase’s voice was thick with tears when he got a good look at Marvin’s face.

Marvin looked at Chase with glazed over eyes, face pale and tears mixing with the blood dripping down his cheeks. There were dull, green marks covering the area around Marvin’s eyes, holes in them and puffed out as if they were gouged open and squeezed.

“Ch...Chase.” Marvin’s voice was soft and hoarse, every sound a painful struggle.

“It’s okay, don’t speak, we have you now.” Chase started trying to undo the knots on Marvin’s wrists.

“I got it,” Wilford said, pulling out a pocket knife and sawing at the rope.

“Too much sorrow.” Mad rubbed at his chest, acting like he had heartburn. “It hurts-” Mad yipped when JJ grabbed him by the ear and pulled him down placing a finger to his lips and telling him to be silent. “Yes, sir.” Mad squeaked.

“We’re going to get you home,” Chase said as he lifted Marvin. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

“I’m going to be burping for months.” Mad grumbled when he was let go, huffing through his nose when Wilford was now holding him by the front of his shirt.

“We’re leaving. If you ever even think about touching my Jamie again, I assure you that you will know the full strength of my madness.” Wilford threatened.

“Now I really want to give your boy another kiss.” Mad giggled, turning it into a laugh when he was thrown to the ground, popping away before anything else could be done.

“Take us home, please,” Chase said, having a now sobbing Marvin in his arms.

“No problem.” Wilford snapped his fingers and sent everyone back to the Headquarters.

------------------- ------------------- -------------------

Wanna help me and give me some support? |Donate To My PayPal| (All donations will be met with a request that will be done before all others) Requests are CLOSED Commissions are CLOSED Tag List: @wisevoidpastacash @takethepainawaybae@superdltpurplerage@superarrowholockian @always-in-a-fandom@wolfbear135@cutecatwhiskersstuff@blueyeswhitedragon16@allimeraine@hey-wow-thats-me @pixelenchanter@queenbrandon @aviana-felsari@lavenderamy@northicckque @rainymae523@timeless-gris @allthespaceboo@virge-of-death @crystal-fridge @demons-jim@blackkttn13@derpytoez@bartonisamess @fandom-guy@hypercat360@sodabeet @cookieface678@plutonic-5 @wilford-motherluvin-warfstache @thegaysalt@burningpeachdelusionofchaos @mei-li-de-tou-fu@anightmarefan@it-squishy-here @prince-ryker @ninjasversuslife @phanimapala67@doodledaf@acidbab-y @spaceykidd0@shamelesscollectorpiratesstuff@spookyparkster@dploverness@classy-birb@crookedlyaddictedtodark@tmblr-a-binch@sirkawaiipotato @little-frying-pan@quotesnerd@medusadoggo@madallice329@rudenesssarcasmlackingenthusiasm @tessytaartje @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch@thetrashspace@thesinginggal@mad-men-inc@sealover89@bobberino98 @ king-explosion-murderrr @succos-tacos@positive-potato @lesbabo @ninja-girl2846 @lala121415

#danti #undercover love #trickshot #poor marvin

52 notes · View notes

charlyoddsox27 · 6 years ago

Text

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

#long post #charlyspeaks #charlys cesspool of interests #team fortress 2 #team fortress #medic #pyro #heavy #engineer #scout #spy #demoman #sniper #soldier #zhenna #tf2 #drabble #my opinions #ooooo

30 notes · View notes

ivarinleatherpants · 6 years ago

Note

ok, OTP questions all of them. Or one through ten. Or one through five. You know what, I don't care. Gimme, I'm desperate.

Whelp, we’ll see how many of these I can get through! XD

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

-Ivar. Totally Ivar. He’s the one who has never needed to stick to a budget, and he loves spoiling Gwen with all the nice things she could never afford growing up.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

-Ivar wants Gwen to sit in his lap more, but she gets worried about hurting his legs. More often, it’s Ivar who ends up falling asleep with his head in her lap while she runs her hand through his hair.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

-Pfft. Ivar, obviously. The second he comes home the shirt comes off. Gwen doesn’t mind so much, but she needs to get stuff done, dammit! She can’t keep getting distracted by the... arms... and... the other muscles... and...

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

-It’s pretty equal. Though Ivar’s the one who’s more likely to actually be out all night. He loves to go to punk concerts or to play with his band, but Gwen doesn’t like the noise and crowds. Sometimes she’ll come pick him up, but a lot of times she just waits for him to come home.

It probably doesn’t help that he always gets very... erm... energetic... after all the adrenaline. Then he comes home with his full punk-regalia on, his makeup all smudged and his hair messy and... yeah...

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

-Gwen. She’s a competent cook, and can make a decent meal, but she has to have a recipe she can follow or else things can get out of hand. Ivar is just proud of her for trying to go out of her comfort zone, even though she can’t cook a steak to save her life.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

-Ivar doesn’t know what an OTP prompt even is, and teases Gwen horribly for reading fanfiction.

Ivar: *Gleefully* This is straight-up porn, Ging!

Gwen: GIVE THAT BACK THIS MINUTE!

Ivar: Metal arms? Really? Is that your thing, babe? Blue eyes and a bit broken?

Gwen: I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

-Gwen totally wears Ivar’s shirts.

It’s unlikely anything but Gwen’s most over-sized ugly sweaters would fit Ivar.

Not that he’s ever tried or anything... but there was that one pair of pants that would have gone SO well with his jacket...

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

-Again, probably equal. Gwen does a lot of the shopping early on, just because-again-Ivar had no clue how to shop frugally. But later on she ends up working at Kattegat U as a research scientist/teacher, and he has Heathen Hotrods so he can stay home with the kids, he ends up running a lot of the errands.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

-Depends. They both like to drive. There are some cars Ivar prefers to drive, but he categorically refuses to drive Gwen’s Subaru Mom-mobile, so it’s a toss-up. It also depends of in one is more tired, or if Ivar’s legs are hurting more than usual.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

-Gwen is the only one who draws, but she doesn’t do people. Ivar does like to take pictures, though, and has quite the collection *wink wink nudge nudge*.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

-Ivar is the backflipper, while Gwen would be following behind, shouting at him to be more careful and STOP doing that he’s going to hurt himself!

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

-Oddly enough, Gwen is probably more likely to overdo it. She doesn’t know her own limits the way Ivar does. He’s good at keeping an eye on her and letting her have fun, but making sure she drinks water and stops before she makes herself really sick.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

-They’re both the sort to get little things just because it makes them think of the other. Ivar probably a little bit more, just because he’s more financially spontaneous.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

-Gwen hyphenates when they get married. Ivar proudly introduces them as Dr. and Mr. Wessex-Lothbrok. It gets to the point where he sometimes forgets he didn’t actually change his name. XD

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

-Neither of them are super bothered by spiders. Unless it’s a really big one and it shows up in the shower, then both of them are likely to shriek and cry for help.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

-Gwen probably spends more time wearing Ivar’s jackets than he does. She doesn’t even have to indicate that she’s cold, he just has this sort of sixth sense and immediately swoops in like some leather-clad savior.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

-I think this is pretty obvious, considering it’s already happened. lol. It’s a long time before Ivar and Aethelred actually start to get along, and even longer before they can really be considered ‘friends’.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

-Let’s see. Ivar pretty much jumped in head first, but Gwen was the first to say “I love you”. It’s easy for him to be affectionate, but hard for him to talk seriously about his feelings. Whereas Gwen grew up in a family that was much more open about that sort of thing.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

-They both have their strengths and weaknesses. Gwen has less experience with kids, and is pretty uncomfortable with them when she first meets Ivar’s huge family. He’s the one who is the most gung-ho about having kids, but isn’t actually all that into kids that aren’t his own.

With their kids, Ivar is really good at handling the not-so-serious stuff, the tantrums over silly things that Gwen has a hard time being patient with. But it’s really hard for him if one of his kids is really hurt, whereas Gwen is very good at remaining calm during crises.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

-They’re both grammar Nazis, and mock Alfred for using numbers and other text shorthand.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

-They will both come in, guns blazing, if someone tries to hurt the other. They even aggressively defend each other against themselves. Self-deprecation is met with physical assaults with deadly plushies.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

-Ivar makes ALL the bad puns, and is SO happy when he’s finally able to legitimately use dad humor. Gwen pretends to cringe, but she actually thinks he’s really funny.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

-Gwen has come home to find a new animal many times. Many, many times. Once it was a daschaund puppy that had lost all it’s fur (Napoleon), another time it was a mini horse in their shed. Ivar argues that he tried to say ‘no’, but the kids insisted.

Ivar: No guys, we aren’t adopting the horse.

Judah (a.k.a Ivar Jr.): *Slapping his little four-year-old hand down emphatically* Daddy! He needs a famiwy!

Alyssa (a.k.a Gwen Jr): *Two and already running the world with an iron pout* Pony! Pony!

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

-Ivar: Are you tired? Wanna ride on my back?

Gwen: No.

Ivar: Giiing! C’moooon!

Gwen: No! Your legs are already going to be hurting from all this walking!

Ivar: Ging, get over her and let me carry you!

Gwen: No, you can’t make me!

*Continues, ad infinitum.*

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

-Ivar is more likely to play a sport, but really, he’s the shameless fanboy. Gwen’s maybe tried to leave him at home once or twice when she’s getting an award of some kind, because he makes that bad of a ruckus.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

-Ivar. He just can’t get enough of his cutie-patootie. Gwen protests that her drooling isn’t cute, and if he doesn’t delete that right now, so help her...

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

-Also Ivar. The few times Gwen’s gone with him to a show, she lets him give her a full punk makeover. Just in general he likes to pick out her clothes. He may know the contents of her closet slightly better than she does.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

-Neither of them is really afraid of the other’s pet, but Gwen is deeply suspicious of Napoleon on occasion. She’s sure he’s not as innocent as he looks, especially considering the number of times he’s conned Ivar into letting him sleep in their bed.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

-Ivar has a strong streak of chivalry, hammered into him since birth by Aslaug. She taught him how to behave in high society, and there’s certain things that he still does on instinct.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

-They’re both homebodies to a certain extent, so they wouldn’t be constantly travelling, but they’d still like to visit other countries. Especially Ivar, who loves history. They probably take a couple trips every year. Gwen plans out the itinerary and makes Ivar stick to it despite his tendency to wander off. They like to see historical sites and go to museums. Probably a good mix of exciting stuff like amusement parks, and just chilling in a nice hotel somewhere scenic.

Ivar, of course, brings two or three cameras along and uses all of them.

9 notes · View notes

mirrorballparkers · 7 years ago

Text

museum dates — peter parker

requested: nah. idea popped up into my head randomly.

tagged: @ttholland @t-oodles @cmonspiderling

- yo so i fucking am a god damn art geek myself, so why not write this? also, i am SO SORRY that it’s been so long since i’ve posted any fics. i’ve just had a lot going on personally, and also had a lot of job interviews (I GOT A JOB !!). not to mention i’m taking a college placement test this week so i’m just a mess. but, i digress. ENJOY THIS FIC! thanks for being patient, lovely humans.

warnings: a shit ton of fluff and a reader who legit has NO CHILL and peter is such a soft, sweet human bean.

summary: cute art headcanons with peter parker

- you grew up on art. always going to the local art galleries to discover new artists and collect some of their paintings and sculptures

- you’d always gush to peter about a new art piece you bought or a new artist you discovered

- “babe! oh, my god, look at this new Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun piece i got !! isn’t it absolutely alluring?”

- you’d sometimes feel bad that you geeked out so much, but peter thought it was so adorable. you had so much passion in your eyes, voice, and physicality it made his heart go fucking wild.

- “keep going, pumpkin. tell me more please.”

-when he told you that he got the two of you ticket to the museum of modern art

- your heart busted a nut

- you literally smothered peter with a bunch of kisses, so happy and thankful that he would do something like this for you. it wasn’t very cheap to visit museums these days.

- peter thought you geeking out was so cute

- he researched for hours and hours to find the best museum just for you

- when you got to the front entrance, you couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face and you were jumping up and down like a little kid because, actual nerd

- “HOLY SHIT. peter, this place is so beautiful. the detail, the atmosphere, my heart is bursting right now you don’t even know how excited i am right now. this is the best day ever. ”

- peter would just be looking at you with heart !! eyes !! because you were so cute and this genuinely made you happy and excited.

- he was very proud of himself for researching until 4 am on a school night for the best museum in new york

- you were more excited to be with peter though just sayin’

- when you saw him looking, you got a little embarrassed

- “sorry..didn’t know i was acting so childish”

- you calmed down

- for 0.5 seconds until you two entered inside then ya heart went ‘SKRRRAAA PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP’

- you held onto peter’s arm and you were like: !!!! looking around at everything

- it was so mesmerizing !!! like you had never seen a place filled with such unbelievably beautiful pieces your heart busted a nut !!!

- peter would sling his arm around you and kiss your head like a soft cutie

- he was usually too shy for that shit, he prepped himself in his head

- ‘don’t be a pussy, she’s your girlfriend just do it. YOU’RE SPIDERMAN.’ he’d tell himself in his head

- walking around the museum and honestly your heart was busting a nUT everything was so mesmerizing and PERFECT.

- you’d jump up and down like an actual child holding on to peter’s arm as you’d hand the lady in the front your tickets.

- bragging that peter bought you these tickets TO RANDOM ASS STRANGERS THAT CLEARLY DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK BUT YOU WERE SO BLESSED

- “hi, yes my cute ass sweet ass boyfriend bought me these.” you’d say while doing finger guns.

- “YO, LADY WITH THE CHURRO: MY CUTE ASS PRETTY BOYFRIEND BROUGHT ME HERE AND BOUGHT THE TICKETS, ISN’T HE GREAT? yeah, you don’t have to tell me i know bitch.”

- taking those typical pics where you’re standing in front of some art piece !!

“should i put a hand on my hip..?”

“maybe like idk uh just stand still. pretend you’re just posing for a picture.”

“but how will i know you already took it? i don’t wanna be standing here forever, pete. there’s a whole bruce nauman exhibit with my name on it.”

- peter would make a clicking noise for you to know when he took it so you wouldn’t be standing and hurting your feet. he was a considerate boy.

- he thought you were so cute !!! screw the painting, you were the actual art

“ ew my hair looks weird here let’s take another”

“shut up you look cute af babe”

- peter was whipped so he did as u asked n took more for u cuz the more photos of ya cute ass he would be able to have in his phone and show aunt may how pretty u looked after the date

- “no,no, delete that it makes my butt look bad.”

- peter would blush n shyly say

- “but u have a cute butt…….” bRO

- he wasn’t lying homie thought ur butt was cute

- Even though u would get a lil embarrassed you’d start to get a little more confident and feel ya selffff

- “okay out all the 60 that i’ve taken of u doing cute lil poses i think we have a winner. ALL OF THEM, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL.”

- you’d gasp every single time u saw a sculpture or a painting, anything

- “babe look at this one !!”

“ooh look at this one lOOK AT THAT DETAIL AND TEXTURE”

- peter giving you all kinds of sweet kisses to assure his feelings for you

- cheek kisses

- nose kisses

- temple kisses

- FOREHEAD KISSES

- he’d even pull you to a corner to low key make out with you

- SO !! MUCH !! KISSES !! AND !! HUGS !!

- peter would hold your hand to his heart and just smile, feeling so warm and happy he was with you

- getting yelled at for touching things

- sassing the workers for getting yelled at for touching things under your breath

- “ the fuck? you don’t tell me what to do fuck you.”

- peter would calm you down but inside he’s like “that’s my baby girl !!”

- linking pinkies as you walk through all the exhibits

- peter wouldn’t even be paying attention to the art

- he dead ass would be just looking at you the entire time, so !! in love !!

- “why’re you not looking at this Ian Chung piece babe?”

“why go to an art museum when i can just look at you for art.” he just !! said that !!

- you’d get all shy and shit

- “aww, my pretty girl.”

- he’d always check to make sure you were hydrated

- “babe you want some water? i haven’t seen you have water all day and i just wanna make sure.”

- “wanna stop and have some water?”

- “do your feet hurt? it looked like you were limping just now.”

- he felt like he was bothering you, but really you were really tired and sore, possibly dehydrated from the hours and hours of walking.

- “i think we should sit down, sweets.”

- you’d finally agree after he told you that you looked kind of pale, so the two of you sat down on a bench and you rested your head on his lap as he played with strands of your hair

- before aunt may picked you guys up, you two went to the gift shop

- you bought so !! much !! amazing !! things !!

- peter lost you at least 3 times

- he kind of lowkey panicked every single time because you were his precious daffodil and he’d freak out if he lost you

- “hey, where’d you go?”

- “daffodil, you need to stop wandering.”

- “bABE, IF YOU WALK AWAY ONE MORE TIME"

- you picked out cute matching rings, even though it was incredibly cliche.

- you had at least 5 items in your hand: a coffee traveling mug, a shirt, magnet, and two hats. you didn’t need two hats bitch what the fuck.

- peter wouldn’t dare to let you spend all that money on you

- “peterrrrr, it’s fine i have money. you’re already buying the rings!”

- this soft boi was too stubborn and bought them for you anyway

- “your total is 32.50.”

- “pETER WHAT THE FU-”

- you’d already put the hat on the second you walk out the gift shop and peter thought it was so cute, so he snapped a picture without you seeing it and captioned it as: ‘she’s so extra, but i like her a lot so it’s fine.’

- putting the matching couple rings on for each other as if ya’ll were about to fucking get married.

- taking snaps of each others hands with the rings and putting dorky captions

- your whole body was aching from all the walking so peter would be all cute and give you a piggy back ride to his aunts car

- when you got in the car, you rested your head on his shoulder completely worn out.

- peter was VERY excited to show aunt may all the pictures he took

- “hon, these are all of her, not the art.”

- “what’re you talking about, may? SHE IS ART.”

- you fell asleep on his shoulder bc it was going to be a very long drive home.

- he’d be very sweet and take off your shoes for you so your feet wouldn’t hurt anymore

- peter eventually fell asleep too, hands intertwined with yours and his heart very full

- it really was a perfect date.

335 notes · View notes

eddiekaspbraklives-blog · 7 years ago

Text

I never should have said anything. (1/?)

Summary: Bill has some unspoken feelings he’s not sure how to deal with; especially when those feelings are centered around his best friend.

Pairing: Stanley/Bill

Word Count: 2,115... I’m sorry

Warnings: A bit of swearing, angst(but it WILL turn happy !!)

A/N: Everyone is 16+ in this, so they’re in high school. Inspired/modeled after something that happened with my best friend at the time and me. Why not incorporate my life into stories, right ? This will have a few chapters, so stay tuned !!

Bill had been the first member of the losers club to get their drivers licenses. Richie had been next, then Mike, Beverly, Ben, Eddie, and last but not least Stanley. Because of this order, Bill had been the first to get a car. Richie had been slacking and wasn’t practicing his driving, so he only had his permit and couldn’t drive everyone around. The rest hadn’t gotten in enough hours to be eligible for the drivers test that would permit them their full license. Given the circumstances, Bill had pretty much become the bus driver to the losers club.

As usual, it was a Friday night and the 7 friends had decided to gather at someone’s house to hang out. Richie’s, to be exact. This was actually a rare occasion, but this evening his parents wouldn’t be home until late at night so they would have the house to themselves.

Unsurprisingly, it was Bill’s job to pick everyone up who didn’t have a ride and bring them to Richie’s. Which was... Well, everyone.

With the other 6 teenagers in his car, he made his way to Richie’s house across town. Mike was riding shotgun, playing some tasteful music on the aux cord while the other 4 were squeezed in the back. Ben, Bev, and Eddie were arguing over the best cake flavor, while Stan stayed quiet and glanced out the window. He felt weird not saying anything, but in his opinion cake was nothing to argue over, so he kept his eyes trained on the trees passing by until a voice pulled him back to reality.

“What do you think, Stan?” Beverly questioned.

He turned to look at her, confused from his lack of attention to the conversation.

“What do you think the best flavor is?”

He shrugged. “If I had to pick one, I guess red velvet is pretty good.”

The 3 beside him erupted into sporadic chatter, trying to talk over each other to discuss how good red velvet really was. Stan rolled his eyes, beginning to turn back to the window until Bill spoke up from the front seat.

“That’s m-m-my favorite too.” He said, smiling softly and looking at Stan through the rearview mirror.

Stan grinned back, glancing up at Bill and meeting his eyes. The two gazed at each other for a moment before Bill tore his eyes from the mirror and focused back on the road, pulling into Richie’s driveway.

“Alright everyb-body, out.” Bill announced softly, putting the car in park and twisting the keys to power it off. He watched everyone file out one by one, resting his hands on the wheel until Stan was the last one in the car.

“If Richie makes us play truth or dare again I’m going to kill him.” Stan mutters, looking at Bill before stepping out.

He laughed shortly and followed the other 5 to the front door, letting Ben knock and seeing Richie open the door to greet them.

“Sup fuckers!” He smiled widely, making way for everyone to come inside.

“Wow, real classy Richie.” Eddie teased.

“Fuck off.” Richie scoffed and rolled his eyes, pulling him inside.

Stan and Bill walked in next to each other behind the group, laughing at Eddie and Richie and giving one another a knowing look, heading into the kitchen for snacks.

Bill opened the pantry while Stan went for the fridge. They piled snack boxes and bags into their arms and headed back to the living room where their friends were. As the group saw them approaching, Mike greeted them.

“Thanks mom and dad.” He teased, as the two handed food out.

Stan felt his face flush. The nicknames technically grouped them together as a couple. Don’t think about it too much. He thought to himself.

The 7 found themselves getting situated on the seats available, squeezing themselves in wherever they could fit. On the loveseat were Ben, Mike, Beverly, Stan and Bill. Richie and Eddie were on the reclining chair with Eddie on top of the other boy.

“Well, this is a tight fit.” Ben noted, gesturing to the fact that the 5 of them were packed into the couch like crackers in a box.

“Would you rather sit on the floor?” Richie challenged playfully.

“Don’t be rude!” Eddie scream-whispered, smacking his hand lightly. Richie just tazed him in response.

“Not really, no.” Ben said, looking at the cold wood floor.

Richie rolled his eyes, picking up the remote and setting up a movie on the tv.

“What are we watching?” Beverly asked, looking to the tv.

“Insidious. Chapter 2!” Richie beamed, clearly excited.

A few in the group rolled their eyes, but Bill looked next to him to see Stan’s reaction. He knew he hated horror movies. Stan glanced back at him, giving him a look that could only mean oh shit. Bill leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“D-don’t worry. I’ll p-protect you.” He said with a sweet smile.

Stan felt his face heat up a little bit, smiling at Bill. “That’s appreciated.” He said simply. They both turned back to the television as they heard the previews start to play. Richie quickly skipped through them, and the movie began.

They all kept their eyes glued to the screen as the night went on and the movie progressed, subconsciously huddling together even more than they had been before. By the time 2/3 of the movie was finished, Stan found himself curled up to Bill with their hands intertwined, pressing into him any time he knew a jump-scare was coming.

He had definitely taken notice of the fact that his hand was in Bills. To be quite honest, he didn’t know if that was normal. The two were very touchy-feely and that was a common and comfortable thing for them, but they’d never done this before. He had seen Richie and Eddie hold hands often, but the whole group knew they liked each other. He tried not to pay too much mind to it and just watch the movie, but it seemed like an elephant in the room to Stan.

As the movie was coming to an end, both Bill and Stan had found themselves growing tired. Bill had wrapped an arm around Stan and was rubbing his back at this point, while Stan rested his head against Bills chest. Half asleep, Stan heard Richie yell something in one of his obnoxious voices and lifted his head, realizing where he was currently placed. He looked up to Bill who was also waking up a little and smiled down at him. Stan smiled back but sat up, checking his watch.

“It’s 9:50. My curfew is 10:30 and you have to take everyone else home first, should we get going?” Stan asked Bill, being honest but also making an excuse to get out of his current situation. Bill nodded in response and stood up after Stan pulled his hand apart from his friends.

“Okay, is everyone r-ready?” Bill asked the others, looking at their nodding heads and slipping on his shoes. The others said their goodbyes as Richie stood in the doorway, whispering something in Bills ear before he walked out. After Bill made his way outside, the others followed him like a group of baby ducks with their mother as everyone loaded into the car. This time around, Mike switched seats with Stan so he could ride shotgun.

Stan plugged his phone up to the aux, playing death cab for cutie for a relaxing ride home. Bill looked at the speaker and then back to Stan, grinning.

“You and your indie m-music.”

Stan briefly twisted the corner of his mouth up into a half smile and lay back in his seat.

The ride home was quiet. Bill dropped off Ben first, then Beverly and Mike. Stan’s house was the farthest away, so Bill was taking him home last.

As the slow music played through the car, Stan noticed a change in the environment once Mike got out of the vehicle and said goodnight to his friends. He turned to look at Bill and noticed the troubled expression on his face, his eyebrows scrunched up as if he was thinking too hard about something.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

Bill almost did a double take, obviously being pulled out of thought. He glanced at Stan for a few seconds before speaking.

“W-was I coming onto you?”

Stan’s eyes widened slightly. “No.” He said simply, feeling uncomfortable at the question.

“Yes I w-w-was.” He mumbled, looking to the road and avoiding eye contact.

“I didn’t-“ He stopped himself and paused. “I mean, I didn’t think so.”

“I’m sorry.” Bill said flatly. “Richie s-said something to me b-before we left. He said it l-looked like I was coming onto you. He-he started asking m-me if I l-l-liked you.” He struggled to get out.

Stan felt his stomach sink a little at the last comment. He noticed how Bills stutter was much worse than usual. That usually only happened when he got really anxious. He cringed as he realized he had pretty much ‘set the mood’ with his choice of music, hearing Hold No Guns begin to play.

“I mean... Do you?” He asked quietly, looking down at his hands. He didn’t like this. He didn’t want to be having this conversation.

Bill didn’t say anything.

“Bill?”

“Y-yeah.” He paused for what seemed like an eternity. Stan was unclear if he meant that as in he liked him, or if he was just responding to his name being called until Bill spoke again.

“I do.”

Stan’s heart sped up.

“F-fuck. That’s p-probably s-so weird to you, isn’t it?” He said in an almost frustrated tone.

“It’s okay.” Stan answered, not sure what to say back.

“I didn’t m-mean to come onto you. I know I c-c-crossed a line.” He informed Stanley, picking up speed in the car.

“Slow down, Bill.” Stan said calmly.

“Why w-won’t you say anything? Anything im-important?” He asked, growing more and more upset.

“You’re going too fast.”

Bill didn’t lose any speed. “I don’t even know w-why I m-mentioned this. I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay, Bill.” Stan repeated flatly as they pulled up at the top of his street.

“I know t-this isn’t your street.” Bill told him, parking the car and gripping the wheel tightly.

Stan didn’t answer.

“I know you don’t l-like me.” Bill threw out. Stan felt his heart lurch. “I j-just need you to know, I guess?” He said, stress and self doubt evident in his voice. “I know you’ve heard R-richie and them joking about-about us dating. They’re jokes, I k-know that. But at the same time, they’re... They’re not.” He confessed. “I don’t know when it h-happened, it just did. You’re just so cute and-and you always make me laugh and I t-think it’s adorable how you bird watch and all these o-other.. Other things. There’s a l-lot to love about you.” He cut himself off as he realized he basically confessed that he was in love. Bill froze, as did Stan.

Stan felt like he was going to throw up. He looked to the screen in Bill’s car that read the title of the song playing, and cursed death cab for cutie in that moment. This was like a movie scene; he didn’t like it. Swallowing his pride, he looked at Bill only to see he was already looking back.

There was something in his eyes. Stan knew that look. He knew that if he didn’t make as much distance between them as possible, the distance would soon be closed.

“I r-really want to kiss you.” Bill said, throwing his pride out the window.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them. Stan looked at the clock in Bills car desperately, reading the time. “It’s 10:28. I need to get inside.” He said flatly, reaching for the door handle.

“I’m s-sorry Stan. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He began to panic. “I don’t want to l-lose you, you’re my b-best friend.” He whined.

“You won’t.” Stan said, but he knew he couldn’t guarantee anything.

“I’m s-so fucking sorry. I n-never should have said anything.” He apologized again, realizing what he had just done.

Stan opened the door and stepped out, closing it as Bill rolled down the window.

“S-stan!” He called out, watching him make his way down the street and towards the house.

Stan looked back as he stopped in front of his doorway and saw Bill resting his face on his steering wheel. He looked away and sighed, entering his house. He felt like the whole weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. This was bad.

What had just happened?

#stan uris #stanley uris #bill denbrough #stenbrough #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #the losers club #it fandom #it fanfiction #stephen king’s it #it movie 2017

94 notes · View notes

undertale-rho · 5 years ago

Text

Underearth: Book 2 - Chapter 4

The Hotlands were sweltering. Frisk silently wondered why anyone would want to live so close to a river of lava. As he approached Alphys's laboratory, Frisk saw two additional guards wearing black armor walking up from the river that the Riverperson used.

"Hey Robert, hey Rafiq. It's time." One of the new guards, the one that looked like a cat, spoke to the two guards that were blocking off the way to an elevator.

"Oh, hey Linda, Larisa; you're, like, right on time. My feet were starting to get sore from all the standing around and all." the bunny-guard said.

The lizard-guard stepped away from where he'd been posted, inviting the bug-guard to take his place.

"Thanks, Rafiq." the bug-guard said. The lizard-guard simply nodded and waited for his partner to finish filling the cat-guard in on the assignment. Once finished, both Robert and Rafiq walked towards the river.

Looks like the guard switched... Frisk thought to himself, walking over and into the laboratory where he expected to run into Alphys.

The encounter within the laboratory before Mettaton appeared happened pretty much the exact same way. The lab was dark, Alphys appeared, barely dressed, and turned on the lights, then she explained how she wished to help Frisk in his quest. Though Frisk knew it was all lies, he did his best to hold in his hatred of Alphys and act like he needed her help. Soon after, Mettaton appeared, trapping Frisk and forcing him to participate in a quiz show.

"LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!!" Mettaton began in their overly confident, self-centered attitude.

#1: What's the prize for answering correctly? A: Money B: Mercy C: New Car D: More questions

"D" Frisk said as soon as Mettaton stopped speaking.

"RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT! HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE!"

#2: What's the king's full name? A: Lord Fluffybuns B: Fuzzy Pushover C: Asgore Dreemurr D: Dr. Friendship

"C"

"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER! NOW, ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME!"

#3: What are robots made of? A: Hopes & Dreams B: Metal & Magic C: Snips & Snails D: Sugar & Spice

"B"

"TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH?????????? WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!"

#4: Two trains, Train A and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other? A: 31.054 minutes B: 16.232 minutes C: 32.049 minutes D: 32.058 minutes

No, not this question again. Frisk thought to himself, trying to remember back to this exact moment in the previous World. Then, it suddenly hit him. Mettaton had chastised Alphys for helping him in the previous World. Sure, it may have been for just that question, but maybe, just maybe...

Frisk looked over at Alphys. Alphys had her hands shaped like the letter D.

"D" Frisk said, hoping it was correct.

"WONDERFUL! I'M ASTOUNDED, FOLKS!" Mettaton said, spraying Frisk with confetti. "DON'T 'COUNT' ON YOUR VICTORY..."

Mettaton's screen then switched over to a jar containing a bunch of flies.

#5: How many flies are in this jar? A: 54 B: 53 C: 55 D: 52

Frisk looked back over at Alphys, who had her hands in the shape of the letter A.

"A" he said.

"CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY!!! NOW, LET'S PLAY A MEMORY GAME." Mettaton's screen then switched to half of a Monster's face.

#6: What Monster is this? A: Froggit B: Whimsun C: Moldsmal D: Mettaton

Frisk looked at the Monster's half-face.

"Hey, I remember this one. It's Froggit. A"

"BOY, THAT'S EMBARRASSING, HUH?" Mettaton said, shooting a bolt of lightning from their finger and hitting Frisk straight in the chest with it, sending him flying into the wall behind him.

Frisk fell to the ground, coughed up some blood then vomited onto the floor.

Damn it... What...? How did I get it wrong...? Frisk thought, his head fuzzy from the shock and pain.

"HURRY, GET UP, DARLING! WE'RE NOT DONE YET!"

Frisk looked up at Mettaton. He felt as though he was going to pass out at any moment.

"HMM, WELL I GUESS IT'S TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS!!"

#9: In the dating simulation video game 'Mew Mew Kissy Cutie', what is Mew Mew's favorite food?

Just like in the last World, before Mettaton could finish reading the question, Alphys interjected with the answer. After a minute, Mettaton stepped back in and began to scold her. Frisk, however, missed this part, as his consciousness finally faded.

Frisk's blurry eyes began to open, the blinding white of the lights around contrasting greatly with the darkness of his eyelids. It didn't take long, however, for his eyes to adjust to the bright light.

Looking around where he was, Frisk found that he was lying on a flat rock, above which was an array of what looked like heat-lamps, mercifully turned off.

Next to the rock stood a nightstand with a huge pile of letters on it. Getting up and looking at them, they were all addressed to "Dr. Alphys Aleulum" from a variety of Monsters. Snowy, Doggo, and so on. None of them were opened.

"Oh, you're awake." Frisk heard a voice coming from behind him. Turning around, he saw that it was Alphys.

"M-Mettaton left already. S-s-something about the show not 'having enough tension'." she said, though her eyes were not on Frisk.

Frisk, on the other hand, simply remained silent. Alphys started subtly shifting her feet.

"Oh, I, uh, upgraded you phone." She said, unable to bear the silence any longer. "H-here." Alphys pulled Frisk's phone from her lab coat and gave it to him.

Frisk simply took the phone without saying a word and shoved it into his pocket. Without pausing, Frisk then turned around and walked away from Alphys to a conveyer belt that led down, passing a Mettaton poster on the way. Something on the poster, however, caught his eye. Fancy pink writing decorated one of the corners; "Thank you for making my dreams come true." it read. He then went down the conveyer, the bottom of which being in the lab.

From there, Frisk exited the lab and continued through the area, running into Mettaton just before reaching the R1 elevator; though everything proceeded as it did in the last World. The mid-level of Mount Hot proceeded the same way, though just before Frisk ran into Mettaton's second ambush, he was stopped by the two Royal Guards that had replaced the other two back before the lab.

"Hey you! Stop!" the cat-guard shouted.

Frisk turned around to see who it was and what they wanted.

"You. You're the Human everyone's hunting, right?" she asked, somewhat out of breath.

"Yeah, what of it? You gonna kill me?" he asked.

"Well, yes. That is what we've been ordered to do."

"By who, Undyne? Didn't you hear, Undyne called off the hunt."

Both the Royal Guards looked at each-other.

"Well, isn't that just great." The cat-guard said. "Undyne's been mind-controlled."

Mind-controlled! What? What the hell gave them that idea?

Both the guards drew their swords.

"Sorry," the cat-guard said, "but now you definitely have to die, before you get me too."

She brought down her sword on Frisk, though only managed to smash it into the ground thanks to him dodging. The cat-guard then, with great difficulty, tried pulling the sword back out of the ground.

"Don't worry," the bug-guard said. "I got them!"

"Hmph, try not to mess this up." the cat-guard chastised her partner.

The bug-guard, affected by the chastisement, swung clumsily at Frisk, allowing him to take hold of her sword and start pulling it from her hand.

"N-no!" she said, pulling on the sword as well.

Stalemate. That is until the cat-guard finally managed to retrieve her sword from the ground.

"I'll take you down alone!" she shouted, running at Frisk.

Crap! he thought. I need to disarm one of them, two-on-one is such bullcrap!

Continuing to pull, Frisk noticed that the glove of the guard he was trying to disarm was getting loose. Taking advantage of this, he brought up one of his hands and pulled the glove with the sword, and kicking the guard in the upper leg, forcing her to let go.

Finally, he had a sword. Bringing it up, he blocked the oncoming strike long enough to slip away.

"My glove...!" the bug-guard said, hiding her exposed hand with her other hand.

"Why do you care about your stupid—" the cat-guard started to say, but then stopped upon looking over.

"Larisa... is that...?" the cat-guard started to say.

"Yes, Linda. It is." the bug-guard said defensively. "Go ahead. Laugh at me." she sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"No, I..." Linda went silent. She then dropped her sword on the ground and removed her glove as well. "Actually... I still wear mine too."

"Our friendship bracelets from high school." Larisa said.

"Larisa, I'm sorry. I thought you hated me, after what happened... We did some pretty nasty things to each other, because of..."

"That old drama? Forget about it. To tell you the truth, I requested to be partners with you. I wanted to become friends with you again... But I didn't know how to breach the topic."

"Larisa! After this... Do you want to get some ice-cream?"

"Salmon-flavor?"

"You know it!"

The two guards were beaming. Frisk took this moment, while they were distracted, to silently slip away, dropping the sword on the ground as he left.

Don't let me rain on your joyous reunion. he thought to himself.

Frisk continued through the Hotlands, making it through Mettaton's second ambush and reaching the L2 elevator. From there, he traversed the metallic summit-platform until he reached the Home Memorial Hall, where the legion of spiders nested.

Frisk looked up at the Hall with great contempt. The first time he went through here, he'd become spider-food.

If only the spiders here were as nice as the ones in the Citadel... Frisk thought to himself as he approached the structure. The Home Memorial Hall was completely caked in spider webs, giving it a very unique smell.

"Ahuhuhuhu..." Frisk heard soon after entering the Hall. "Did you hear what they just said? They said a Human wearing a striped shirt will come through."

Frisk saw a few massive spiders crawl away as he walked through.

"I heard that they hate spiders."

"Where'd you hear that?" Frisk asked the darkness around him. "Because I don't know about you, but I like spiders."

The darkness gave back no answer.

Frisk looked around. Not a single spider was in sight, and the mysterious voice he'd been hearing had stopped.

Guess that worked. Frisk thought to himself, turning back towards the exit.

As Frisk started walking again, he felt a tug at the base of his legs. Looking down, he found that his legs had been tied together with silk. Upon looking down, Frisk also started feeling strands landing on him all over his body. Looking around, he finally noticed that he'd been surrounded. Massive spiders were shooting web at him from such a long distance. It wasn't long before Frisk was completely covered in the immobilizing web, only a head sticking out of a cocoon.

Quite a few spiders came up to him and turned him towards a pit in the Hall. Upon getting rotated, a massively great web lowered itself from the ceiling, landing above the pit level with the walkway.

"Lie all you like Human, it won't help you." a slender, six-armed Human-looking Monster said. "I know your kind. You think your taste is too refined for our pastries."

"I-I-I have n-no idea what you're talking about." Frisk said, struggling to even speak as the haunting memory of being eaten by these creatures encroached upon him. "I-I love your pastries. Honest."

The Monster stepped off the web and onto the walkway, saliva dripping from her ajar mouth.

"W-w-w-wait. P-p-please, I-I can prove it!"

The Monster, seemingly ignoring Frisk, brought her six hands up and stuffed them into the cocoon, placing them onto his warm body and scouring his skin. A few hands were placed on his chest, tearing through his blue sweater to get at the skin beneath, scanning his chest until one of her bristly hands stopped just above his heart. Her upper two hands were then brought up to his head, her hands exploring his skin there, too.

Once the Monster began salivating even more than before, Frisk knew the end was near. He was going to die again unless he thought of something fast that would get him out of this situation.

The Monster brought her upper hands down from his head to his neck and pulled his head one way. She then brought her mouth over to the highly exposed flesh on his neck.

"Wait!" Frisk pleaded. "Before you kill me, could I get something from my backpack? Please!?"

Brilliant. he then immediately thought. Nice one there, Frisk. You’re a dead man.

"Something from your backpack?" she asked. "What is it? Something to try and kill me with~?"

Frisk moved his eyes to look at the Monster.

"No, not at all. It's just a donut I got back in the Citadel is all."

The Monster froze. "A donut?" she asked.

"Yeah. In a silk bag."

The Monster immediately let go of Frisk, went around to his back, and ripped the backpack through the web right off its straps. She then opened it up and pulled out a slightly crushed silk bag that held the donut. The Monster then looked Frisk right in the eyes, her own eyes narrowed to slits.

"Where did you get this...? Did you steal it?" she growled.

"What? No! I told you, I bought it from the spiders in the Citadel."

The Monster walked over to her giant web and talked to one of the giant spiders on it in a language Frisk didn't understand. She then turned back around.

"I hope you don't mind if we verify this story of yours~." She said, walking around to behind Frisk and collapsing her weight onto his shoulders. Once there, she began licking at his neck.

Frisk suddenly made an indescribably surprised and disgusted noise.

"What are you doing!?" he shuddered.

"Don't you know? I'm pre-tasting~. I'm certain you're lying; the Citadel has been sealed for hundreds of years. I doubt someone like you could have gotten in. Which means that you stole that little donut there."

"Wh-what if I got it from a friend?" Frisk asked, his mind racing through all the failures that were alternate escape plans.

"Because you would have said that first, dearie~. Not that conjured story of getting it from the Citadel nest."

A spider approached the two of them, holding a paper in one of its claws, and started to climb up Frisk. Once it had gotten to just below his neck, the Monster behind him took the paper and read its contents.

"What!?" she said, lifting her weight from Frisk. "They're saying that they saw you, and... you helped donate to their cause!"

She gave the paper back to the spider, who climbed back down Frisk.

"Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding~. I thought you were someone that hated spiders~. The person who asked for your SOUL... They must have meant a different Human in a striped shirt~. Sorry for all the trouble~. Ahuhuhu~."

Frisk was avoiding eye-contact with her, his brows curled.

"Tell you what, I'll make it up to you~." she said, setting her weight back onto Frisk's shoulders. She then began whispering in his ear, her lips ever-so-slightly grazing his skin. "You can come back here any time... And, for no charge at all... I'll wrap you up and play with you again!"

Frisk went completely red in the face.

"Ahuhuhuhuhuhu~. Just kidding~." she said, taking enjoyment out of Frisk's embarrassment. "You can go now." She said, tearing the cocoon off his body with the help of the many spiders around.

"What about my shirt and bag?" Frisk asked, looking down at the large tears in his shirt and the pulverized bag lying on the ground.

The Monster looked at the damage she'd done. She then walked over to the giant web she was on and talked to another spider. About a minute later, a few spiders came back with a purple-white shirt and bag.

"Sorry for the damage." she said remorsefully. "I hope you can accept these replacements and an apology."

"Um... thanks... errr, what's your name?"

"Muffet." she said.

"Ah... well, thank you, Muffet." he said, taking off the green jacket (undamaged, thankfully) and blue shirt and putting on the new shirt he'd gotten. The new shirt was cool, soft, and smooth, like clear running water over his skin. "This is amazing. What is it?" Frisk asked, admiring the smoothness of it.

"It's silk~." she said, her airy voice back. "Mine, to be exact~. I made those two things a long time ago."

"It's amazing."

Frisk put the green jacket back on and picked up the bag that had been brought to him.

"Anyway, I must be going. Goodbye."

"See you again, dearie~!" Muffet said as Frisk left.

Once outside the Hall, Frisk felt a cold chill rise up his spine and goosebumps appear all over his body.

What the hell is with that Monster... Muffet... Frisk thought to himself. So weird.

Frisk continued through the Hotlands, running right into Mettaton's third ambush set up right outside the Home Memorial Hall, where everything turned opera and Frisk got thrown down a hole to do a puzzle that had no real danger to it. Once Alphys "saved" him again, Frisk ascended the staircase to the MTT Resort. From there, he ran into Sans, who took them inside through one of his "shortcuts" again and talked about something he'd found while on patrol. Once Sans had finished his story, Frisk attempted to bring up the strange behavior he displayed before fleeing Grillby’s earlier, though Sans just dodged the question, then left. After Sans left, Frisk moved on straight to Helios Station.

Replay : Muffet's Dance

Previous First posting First of this book Next

#undertale #undertale au #undertale rho #UTRStory #underearth #replay

1 note · View note

arcaneranger · 6 years ago

Text

Final Thoughts - Spring 2018

Oh, I am so very late on this one, but in my defense, I did warn that I had too much to watch during the spring, so much so that I actually have to have MAL open in another tab while I’m writing this just to remember everything.

I’ll start with what I skipped.

* Tokyo Ghoul:re, FLCL Alternative, Hozuki’s Coolheadedness Season 2 and High School DxD Hero because I have neither watched the previous seasons nor read the manga.

* Cutie Honey Universe and Gurazeni because by the time I would have gotten to them, I had only heard bad things.

* Dragon Pilot: Hisone to Masotan because Netflix picked it up and we’ll have to wait until September for it.

* Gegege no Kitaro because I didn’t hear any buzz about it and frequently forget that it even exists, I’ll get around to it if enough people ask me to.

* Full Metal Panic! Invisible Victory because Funimation has inexplicably removed the dub from VRV and that’s how I want to experience it.

* Kakuriyo: Bed and Breakfast for Spirits because I already watched Konohana Kitan and didn’t see much of a difference.

* Captain Tsubasa because Viz licensed it and then just kinda sat on it everywhere except the Philippines.

* Inazuma Eleven because it just went completely unlicensed/unloved.

So, with those out of the way, from the bottom to the top, here’s everything I did manage this season.

Worst of the Season: Fist of the Blue Sky Re:Genesis (2/10)

Oh my god, it’s just the ugliest thing this side of Berserk. I don’t remember a damn thing about this one, and I’d bet that most people who watched it are with me on this one, because I was just distracted by how astoundingly awful the CG production in this show is.

Butlers x Battlers (3/10)

Ugh, what a boring slog of a premiere. I still pretty vividly remember this one, if only because it’s so painfully generic that it swung all the way around to be memorable again. Butlers spent almost its entire first episode on absolutely nothing before remembering in the last five minutes that it was supposed to have a plot and smash-cutting to it in the middle of a scene.

Caligula (3/10)

Where to start? After one of the most interesting premieres of the season, this adaptation pretty immediately sank into complete nonsense, and it’s such a massive waste of potential that this was the work of the writers behind the original Persona titles. Caligula is a show where the main characters literally forget the plot is happening and decide to go to a theme park while they’re trapped in a virtual world with a bunch of digi-zombies trying to murder them. Are you kidding me?

Devils’ Line (3/10)

I just did my write-up for this, so it’s a little fresher in my mind, but honestly, it’s just Twilight with adults and the edge factor turned up, and it looks damn silly trying to be as serious as it is. Sentai needs to choose a little more carefully than this if they want to promote their new service.

Libra of Nil Admirari (3/10)

This one was just so boring to look at that I don’t remember anything except that books were evil and it was a visual novel adaptation.

Dances With the Dragons (4/10)

I’m aware that I use the word “generic” an awful lot, but this season’s worst had quite a lot of that quality, and it applies here, too. Trying its hardest to be a mid-aughts grimdark action piece, it just does almost nothing interesting in its premiere, aside from giving the protagonist an already-existing girlfriend, which may have just been an attempt to quell any yaoi-baiting the two main dudes have going for them, because her only qualities demonstrated were “can’t cook” and “looks hot”.

Real Girl (4/10)

As I said in my write-up, I wanted so badly to like this one, but you need a budget of more than fifty cents to make an anime, and nearly every shot betrays just how little the studio was working with. We’re talking about the kind of show where the main cast goes to a summer festival, and appear to be the only people there. The story and writing just aren’t enough to make me put up with it.

Gundam Build Divers (4/10)

What a total letdown from this franchise. Fighters was an incredibly well-written show that was aimed at kids but could appeal to all Gundam fans, Try was divisive but the people that liked it (like me) got a lot out of it, but Divers just flounders. A relatively decent first episode gives way to episode after episode of Villain of the Week shenanigans that I cannot bring myself to care about because the main cast just aren’t interesting; they’re pretty much just generic shonen cardboard cutouts. This was one case where I was almost hoping for a sudden death game turnaround, because the idea of a bunch of kids being trapped in a game with lots of adults and giant robots would at least be a workable plot, but just fighting Team Rocket over and over again is boring schlock.

Magical Girl Ore (4/10)

I held out hope for too long on this one, but I had an inkling from the beginning that the humor was just going to turn me way, way off, and I was right. This one just carried too many bad implications if you thought about it, and they all piled up and crashed down on me the more I tried to keep going.

Magical Girl Site (4/10)

This show just couldn’t stay above water. The writing only got dumber as the plot carried on, and the fact that I was still watching became embarrassing, because most of the community watched one episode of this and dropped it like a hot rock. Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson.

Darling in the FRANXX (5/10)

What total bull, huh? I’ve never seen public opinion on a show turn around as fast as the community ripped Darling to shreds. While it’s visually gorgeous (most of the time), the writing in the second half of the show is just humiliating to everyone involved, as the script becomes a child Godzilla-stomping through a carefully-constructed castle of wood blocks. Once again, I yearn for Inferno Cop.

Persona 5 the Animation (5/10)

I said for the longest time during the lead-up to P5A that I didn’t really see the point of it. Persona 5 is the fastest-selling game in the franchise, and ultimately an adaptation would only serve to recap the plot, because that’s all it would have time to do in only six months. I actually enjoyed Persona 4 The Golden Animation, because it sold itself as a companion piece to the existing plot rather than a retread of it, and seeing the Scooby Gang just hanging out more was precisely what I wanted from it. A-1 Pictures just didn’t learn enough from the sins of Ace Attorney, because while this is better, it’s still not worth watching if you’ve played the game.

Last Period (5/10)

This one got some early buzz for halfway-decent production work and a skewering of gacha-based RPGs, but ultimately ended up repeating itself so often that it became boring, and sidelining the highlight of the show (the villain trio Wiseman) into having barely a few lines per episode. Just goes to show what happens when repeated gags get stale.

Now that those are out of the way, we can get to the stuff I actually finished!

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Die Neue These (6/10)

Barely worth watching for how badly condensed the plot is, and barely worth talking about until the movies happen. That’s assuming we actually get them stateside, but I won’t hold my breath on that one. I coulodn’t even find a decent GIF for this one.

Crossing Time (6/10)

A fun, yet not especially memorable set of vignettes about people waiting for the train to go by. Some of the episodes were less enjoyable than others, but still worth a watch if only because it’ll only take you half an hour and anything you don’t like will probably be over quickly.

Golden Kamuy (6/10)

The last thing I finished for the season, Golden Kamuy’s failure to live up to high expectations lies in its inability to focus on its serious tone, constantly inserting dick jokes into its brutal fight scenes and dragging a poop joke on for entirely too long throughout the show, but it’s still good-looking enough to be worth watching, and it was the only decent show this season to pull out the announcement of a continuation in its last episode, without which it probably wouldn’t have gotten a pass from me.

Umamusume: Pretty Derby (7/10)

I still am amazed by the legwork that went into this silly little mobile game adaptation. While parts of it remain half-assed and unnecessary (the random idol performances being at the top of that list), it’s still a competently-written story about a protagonist who won’t let anything stop her from being The Very Best Like No One Ever Was, and I never get tired of that. The constant timeskips do get a little hard to keep track of, though.

Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku (7/10)

This one could have been improved by just tweaking a few things. While the characters were endearing and the comedy on-point, the story needed a little interference just so that we didn’t end the final episode in pretty much the same place as the second, because I didn’t get any sense of progress in the main relationship. Still, totally worth a watch if you were disappointed by the news that Recovery of an MMO Junkie was directed by a Nazi.

Comic Girls (7/10)

A very cute story of four artists living together and sharing their passion for manga. This one grew on me a lot over its run, and while I had been pretty certain it would be a 6, a satisfying ending and unnecessarily pretty production elevated it, and I’m glad I wound up finishing it.

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online (8/10)

This one has the distinction of being the first review I got hate mail for, because I said that Sigsawa was a far better writer than Kawahara and that the female characters in Alternative actually had agency, and boy are those things true. As it turns out, without Kirito-sama, Sword Art Online can actually be decent, or even great. A solid buildup, well-defined characters (that don’t want to bang the main character!) and a spectacular climax lead up to the best story in the franchise. Can’t wait for Alicization to bring SAO crashing back down to mediocrity-at-best.

Tada-kun Never Falls in Love (8/10)

The only HIDIVE show I finished this season! And the best of three romantic comedies we got this spring, because it gave us the progression and satisfaction that Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun wasn’t able to. While it hit a few stumbling blocks, Tada-kun was brought up at least two full points by its fantastic ending, and that was a great surprise since I was really skeptical going into the final few episodes, as they are a big shift in tone and setting from the rest of the show, but the story pulled it off brilliantly.

Hinamatsuri (8/10)

The funniest show of the season, hands-down, Hinamatsuri is the strange tale of a girl with psychic powers from another dimension coming to live with her new yakuza dad, and the hilarity that ensues. Hina herself is a great character, as her dimwittedness is the basis for a lot of the comedy in this show, but the real heart is Anzu, and the coming-of-age journey she takes over the course of the story. This series shows a great and uncommon sympathy to the downtrodden members of Japanese society, and ultimately is able to bring every character’s arc to a meaningful and satisfying conclusion...except for one. Shame about that final episode.

Food Wars: The Third Plate (9/10)

I’m surprised at the lack of heat I’ve gotten about my opinion on Food Wars, and maybe it’s because I’ve been too subtle about my feelings, so I’ll spell them out clearly now: Food Wars is better than My Hero Academia, and you should be watching it.

Lostorage Conflated WIXOSS (9/10)

Man, was this a satisfying turnaround from the disappointment that was incited. The decision to bring the original cast back for a Massive Multiplayer Team-Up was a great one, and meant that almost every character, but especially Midoriko, got the conclusion they really needed. I’m hoping that this is the end for this franchise, if only so it can go out on its highest note. Oh, also, the soundtrack is still awesome.

Best of the Season:...

...

MEGALOBOX (10/10)

This shouldn’t surprise anyone, because MEGALOBOX was perfect from beginning to end and anybody who watched it is well aware of that fact. The sleeper hit of the season was everything the first episode promised; a gritty, 90′s-flavored story of one man’s journey to prove himself the best, and damn the consequences. MEGALOBOX is so great that it’s difficult to pick out individual elements of its awesomeness, but special mention should go to the music, because it is amazing. The OST of this one should go down in history along with that of Bebop as the best that anime has to offer.

0 notes

iblameashley · 8 years ago

Text

12 Hours In: A Mass Effect Andromeda Review

Note: I’ve never written a review before – not for a game, movie, etc. I don’t generally like doing them because I’m always unsure what to say; but Mass Effect Andromeda has broken this barrier with me, and I feel the need to put my thoughts down regarding this game.

Now, most of you are likely sitting there thinking “Oh fuck, another complaint about the M/M romance BS.” While I will touch on that issue later, I really do want to review the game so far, 12 hours in.

Character Creator:

The bane of this games existence, and also one of the major issues that has been brought up with the Dev’s and company. I tried to make my own custom Ryder to play, but it was nearly impossible to get a face I liked. I felt the creator was fighting me every step of the way, and after a good thirty minutes of effort, I simply went back to the main menu and selected Default Scott Ryder to play.

The Dev’s have already acknowledged this issue and say they are working on it, so for now I will stick with my cutie-pie Scott. I would have to give the creator a 3/10 right now though.

Tell me I’m pretty. (Image from Pintrest)

Pros: Default Scott and Sarah are well made, so starting with them isn’t a problem.

Cons: The creator sucks and you have fight with it. If you managed to make a good character: good for you.

Visuals:

Mass Effect Andromeda is eye-candy. There is no doubt about it; the dev’s went above and beyond to make the Arks, Nexus, Tempest and worlds breath-taking. They’ve done a great job setting the tone for each location, and I get excited to explore new areas as they open up to Scott.

If I had to name my favorite place right now, it would be Voeld (The Ice world, I believe). Riding around in the Nomad in the snow and Ice really brings me back to Noveria in the original trilogy, and I think that’s really important for this new game – there needs to be some connection to the old games, while making its own way.

The galaxy map is also very attractive and, due to there being no Mass Relays in this game, designed with FTL travel in mind. The transition from system to system is fluid and appealing, though sometimes I found the transition from planet-to-planet tiresome and unnecessary.

Genuinely one of my favorite scenes so far.

Pros: Well-designed maps, transitions and vessels. Feels like a brand-new experience, like it should be.

Cons: Transition from planet-to-planet takes longer than necessary.

Controls:

The characters are easy enough to move around, and I really enjoy the addition of the jet-pack to boost yourself in this game. I cannot tell you how often I use the jet-pack, its just fun. I find it extremely useful during combat to dodge attacks and sometimes gain an advantage over the Kett. I usually play as a biotic, so the adept profile has been working very well for me in conjunction with the jet-pack.

The one thing that does bother me is running and stopping. I found that Scott doesn’t come to a complete stop and kinda flows forward for a second for two after you release the control. It was bad the first time it happened when I had used a jetpack to jump on a rock, moved forward and then fell to my death because he didn’t stop in time. At least it was funny to watch.

That should probably read “Trophy earned! Dipshit!”

Aiming and firing guns with the control is familiar, it took no time to adapt to, and aside from minor changes to the look of the targeting system, it felt very Mass Effect-y.

The Nomad on the other hand… Bioware, you lied to us! You said it would handle better than the Mako! It so doesn’t. But that aside, I still enjoy my adventures in the thing, and the banter between squad mates that you get to enjoy as you move from place to place. The benefit to the Nomad is the ability to switch between a high and low gear, with an added boost from a rear-mounted thruster. It can also make small jumps, but I found it lacking compared to the Mako.

I don’t really like the system they set up where you have to press and hold the triangle to open doors or crates. I know it only adds a second or two to the game, but its wasted time, damnit! Let me click and open shit, I wanna loot and get back to killing things.

Pros: Now that I’m more use to the control, it seems more fluid. I get the Mass Effect feeling from it. The Nomad reminds me of the Mako in some ways.

Cons: I fell off a cliff. Ma—I mean, the nomad reminds me of the Mako in some ways. Fuck you press-and-hold triangle setup!

Animations (general):

There has been a lot of fuss about the animations not being polished in the game, so I won’t linger on this topic very long. My install already had 3 patches attached to it, and while I haven’t looked closely at the details, there wasn’t much in the way of animation (so far) that has really jarred me, though there has been some.

I find the movements of the mouth to be a little too exaggerated which seems to pull me out of what’s being said. It’s a minor annoyance that I’ll get over, but I would hope in the future they’ll look more closely at that.

Aside from that, when I was recruiting Jaal there seemed to be some pixilation when he was speaking with another character that only happened when they moved in close to each other. There are also the eyes… people have mentioned it before, but they have the crazy-ex-girlfriend look to them. These bitches be out for blood! This could (I hope) be fixed with a patch.

Not nearly blood-thirsty enough.

Pros: Eh… its Mass Effect, there’s always something off about animations, and that’s just a part of the experience.

Cons: Its an experience I would live without going forward.

The Story:

While I am enjoying the story of the Initiative, let’s be honest here. Bioware may not have intended to, but they wrote themselves into a corner with the original trilogy and couldn’t go any further in the Milky Way Galaxy without defining an ending to the trilogy. That being said, I still feel like it Bioware had simply said that the initiative was done as a back-up plan to the Reaper invasion, people would have just ran with it.

I don’t know where the story will go yet, I am only 12 hours into the game, but the idea that they just wanted to explore a new galaxy doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the financial effort required. Most of the Milky Way was still unexplored thanks to many Mass Relays being inactive.

I can’t really say much on the story, but I am eagerly awaiting more of it opening up as I play. There was only a need for minor tweaks to the story to make it fit in with the original trilogy nicely; it’s a shame they chose not to go that direction.

Pros: It gives us a whole new galaxy to explore, especially if they decide to open up the rest of Andromeda in future installments.

Cons: The reasons for going were not well thought out.

Romance, Or: Wheres my tentacle porn, damnit?!

Finally, I want to address the romance stuff. I already know how this will play out as a gay-male, playing a gay-male in the game. Bioware fully let me down with this game, to a point where I seriously considered canceling my pre-order of the game.

To have only one real romance option (Gil from engineering) who is an NPC only, and then to only get a fling with another guy (Reyes) who is also an NPC was a slap in the face. To add salt to the wound, you get approximately 1/3 of the time to build these “romances” than you do with other romance options such as Cora.They then took it a step further and used the Mass Effect go-to of fade-to-black for sex, but they will gladly do full frontal for the heterosexual romances.

It’s clear that gay-men were an afterthought in this game. Others online have mentioned that Jaal, an alien squad mate was intended to be bisexual, and available for Scott (they pulled audio files from the game, or something), but chose to change that last minute.

This has caused an uproar online that I really hope Bioware seriously addresses, and doesn’t just try and placate us with “no no! we’re looking into it!” for months, only to be let down again. If they don’t fix it in this game, I will be genuinely pissed with them. If they don’t fix the underlying problem in the future games, I will drop Mass Effect completely. If you can manage well thought-out lesbian relationships, you can to the same for gay men.

If it’s an issue of straight dev’s not wanting to, or not knowing how to write and shoot gay scenes, hire better, more mature devs.

Sometimes pictures help... so I give you this:

Image via: megarevolution.tumblr.com

Overall, for the 12 or so hours I have played Mass Effect Andromeda, I would give it a 6/10. While there are still issues to be addressed, the game is pretty solid and enjoyable.

Updated: 03/25/2017 @ 5:58am

#Mass Effect #Mass Effect Andromeda #MEA #BioWare #EA #Mass Effect Fan #Gay Issues #gay men #Make Jaal Bi

1 note · View note

cutiesaeran · 8 years ago

Text

The Star in the SKY- Chapter 4

A Yoosung x Saeran College AU

CH 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7

“Please answer the following question in Arabic: who is fun to swing around and so fluffy when you hug her?”

“Seriously, Seven?” I knock on his door again, watching the red light of the camera blink at me steadily. A quiet yet shrill beep sounds at my voice, the small box locking the door denying my entry. What a surprise.

“Incorrect. You have one more attempt before countermeasures are taken.”

I have no interest in finding out what countermeasures the box is talking about, so I just grit my teeth and knock once more, loudly, hoping that someone will come open the door for me soon. “Seven, open up!” I flinch when my voice echoes loudly down the hallway, hoping that I’m not disturbing anyone other than, hopefully, Seven. He always does this to me.

“Incorrect. Deploying countermeasures in 3, 2, 1-”

The door is ripped open to reveal Seven standing before me, a large grin on his face as he lets me in at the last second. “Cutie Pie Yoosungie~ You really should learn arabic so we don’t run into this problem every time~”

I shove past him to get inside, rolling my eyes as I slip off my shoes and make a beeline for the couch. “You knew I was coming, Seven, why didn’t you just let me in right away?” Dropping onto the well-worn cushions, I wrinkle my nose at the distinct smell of Dr. Pepper wafting up from beneath me. I can’t say that my apartment is necessarily clean, but at least my furniture doesn’t reek like stale soda. “Never mind, just forget it.” We’ve had this discussion before, and all it does is circle around and around, with him insisting that I should find the time to learn a language that I will probably never encounter just for the sake of being able to open the door to his shitty apartment, while I point out that I always tell him when I’m on my way and is it too much to ask him to keep an eye or an ear out for when I show up?

I don’t know why I even bother, I know he’s not going to change.

I can feel my face defaulting to a pout and I try to fight it, not wanting to display how sulky I feel about this particular subject. It hurts, not being important enough for my own best friend to be ready for my arrival. Ever. The muscles around my mouth seem to be fighting me, and I’m sure my lips are doing some sort of funky dance between a frown and a smile as I try to purse them into a simple straight line, the beginning of a neutral expression. I’m so focused on this that I don’t notice him approaching until he plops down next to me, one hand ruffling my hair roughly.

“Don’t worry, God Seven-Zero-Seven will always be around to save you from the big, bad, scary door~ You can count on me to keep you safe~” he teases, cheerfully ignoring the indignant look I flash his way. Leaning forward, he pulls out a clear plastic tote from underneath the scuffed up brown coffee table in front of us, popping the lid off and digging around in it before handing me a steering wheel and a long white controller to place inside of it. This is why he’s called me over today, to - as he put it - “kick my ass in Mario Kart.” Pfft. As if I am about to let that happen.

We settle back against the couch while the T.V. turns on, him scooting closer to me as I lean up against his arm. The opening menu song blares out more loudly than is necessary and he lets out a “woop!” and fist pumps once, far more excited than I’ve seen him in a while. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face in response; his enthusiasm is always contagious.

He pauses, the cursor hovering over where it asks how many are playing, his brow furrowed and mouth scrunched to the side. I’m just about to ask what’s wrong when he suddenly twists around, shouting over his shoulder. “Hey, Saeran! Wanna come play Mario Kart?” There’s silence while he turns back, selecting the multiplayer option until a muffled voice comes from the hallway. Seven’s face lights up in a grin and he shrugs me off, leaning forward to shove his hands back into the mess of Wii-related items to find another set for his brother.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’ve been trying to talk to Saeran more, to be friendly and show him that I genuinely don’t have a problem with him, but it seems like all I’m doing is somehow making things worse. I mean, we ride to and from school together every day so he’s bound to eventually figure that out, right? Yet every day his eyes get colder and colder, and yesterday he barely afforded me a glance. Even in class when I try to approach him about our project, he barely says two words to me. It bothers me that I don’t know what I did to make him hate me so much, not this time around.

And for some reason, this time it hurts.

I hear heavy footsteps approaching from behind and I can feel his eyes burning a hole through my head, flinching slightly when he leans past me to grab the proffered controller from Seven. Making his way around the couch, he chooses to sit at the far end, about a body’s width of space between him and where Seven and I sit squished together. I suddenly feel very aware of the fact that most of one side of my body is touching Seven and I start to scoot away to put a little distance between us, but Seven’s arm shoots out and pulls me back against him almost immediately. He’s smirking down at me, his eyes dancing with mischief and I slump against the back of the couch, knowing there’s no way he’s going to let me move easily. Which is completely fine, normally. I’m used to him wanting to be in contact with me in some way when we’re at his place, and since I don’t have a girlfriend, it’s nice to cuddle with someone. Not weird at all. But with Saeran here, something about it just feels… off.

I dare to shoot Saeran a smile, and the look he casts me in response is icy before he turns to look at the screen, fingers pressing the required buttons to connect his controller. It feels like my heart is shriveling and I blink back the burning feeling rising up, not even sure why the tears are trying to come but certainly not wanting them to. The body next to me shifts slightly and suddenly I’m pulled into the crook of Seven’s arm, meaning my face is doing that thing again where it’s painfully transparent to my feelings. He only holds me like this when it’s obvious that I’m about to cry. His long arm is looped around my neck, his other one coming up across my chest to help direct the cursor to choose his character. Oh, right; I should probably do that, too.

Seven ends up choosing Toad, while Saeran goes for Shy Guy. I choose my normal character, Yoshi. I don’t know why I always go for him, but I do. Maybe it’s because I can relate to him; always called cute despite the fact that he’s actually rather dangerous and clever.

Because I’m so dangerous and clever. Nevermind, sometimes I think the stupidest things.

Soon we’re on our way to selecting a track, and my heart drops when I see Seven pick the series that has Rainbow Road on it. That particular course is my weakness, and the jerk knows it. I sniff loudly and lean forward, narrowing my eyes at the screen as the countdown begins. Then we’re driving and I’m lost in the game, my body tilting with the controller as I maneuver my way around all of the computer-controlled racers and Seven.

What I’m not expecting is how talented Saeran is at this game. I’m better than Seven but just barely, squeaking past him most times by the hair on my head - or, er, the spikes on Yoshi’s. But if I’m playing this game on something equivalent to hard mode, then Saeran’s definitely mastered expert because Shy Guy zooms past me almost immediately and is off in the distance for the rest of the race. I try everything in my bag of tricks to catch up to him, including using a blue shell, but nothing works. The first race ends and I am sitting in 2nd place for the first time in a long, long time.

“Wow, Saeran, you’re really good at this game!” I cringe at the awe in my voice; what am I, 12 years old again? Oh, and great, the heat in my face means I’m blushing. Groaning, I raise a hand to cover my eyes as I slump back against the couch in embarrassment.

Seven chuckles next to me, mumbling about my supposed “cuteness” under his breath, but there’s complete silence from Saeran’s direction. Parting my fingers just the tiniest bit, I sneak a peek to find him watching me with his head tilted to the side, his red hair falling to cover most of one eye as he gives me an indecipherable look. Wait, is that… is that the beginning of a smile? I drop my hand to get a better look and it’s like I never saw it; his eyes are diverted back to the T.V. with a bored expression written across his features. Weird… did I imagine it? Probably.

We play through the rest of the courses, all quietly focused on our mission save for the occasional frustrated shout from Seven or me when something like, oh, getting knocked off rainbow road by your stupid best friend happens. Saeran doesn’t make any noise, just sits curled up in his corner of the couch and plays, completely relaxed. When I can spare a glance at him, it doesn’t even appear like he’s trying. Yet he always comes in first, every single time without fail. Even on the cursed rainbow road, he’s crossing the finish line before I’m even halfway around the track on my third lap.

Alright, time to put my serious face on and show him just who he’s messing with.

We play a few more rounds, and each time I manage to get closer and closer to him, until finally I manage to beat him once. Only once, but I bask in the glory of that one win as Seven stands up and cheers loudly, finger gunning at his brother and rubbing the loss in his face. Saeran just rolls his eyes and mumbles something that sounds vaguely like “idiot” at him, and I end up laughing because it’s just too funny to watch them interact like this.

The loud ringing of a gong suddenly sweeps through the room and I jump, eyes wide as I look for the source of the noise. Seven’s expression changes at the sound, becoming more of a look of dread when he drops his wheel onto the couch and disappears in the direction of his room. I sit my controller down as well, climbing back on the couch with an arm draped over the back, watching the hallway curiously to see what’s going on.

“He’s being called to work.” I swing my eyes over to Saeran, finding him still staring at the T.V., though he also has sat down his controller and is now picking at his painted-black fingernails. He shifts slightly under my gaze, as though me looking at him is uncomfortable for him. “That’s what that sound means. The agency is sending out a bulletin to tell him he needs to report in right now.”

Wow. This is… this is far more information than Seven has ever told me. I mean, I knew he worked and that the schedule was far from ideal, but I had no idea where or doing what. Not that Saeran has exactly specified that, but still. Maybe I can get more information out of him? That’s not… a bad thing for me to do, right?

I try to look as innocent as possible, widening my eyes just the slightest as I tilt my head to the side. “The agency?” I ask in a confused voice, turning away from the hallway to direct my full attention on him. His eyes flicker over to me for the briefest moment before he looks down at his hands, his mouth twitching. I chew on my lip as I watch him, hoping to finally have a chance to peek into my best friend’s elusive life.

There’s the smallest sigh and then he places his hands flat on his pants, the pinky closest to me tapping a steady rhythm. “I… didn’t know he hadn’t told you. The agency is-”

“-not something for you to worry about!” Shoot. Here comes Seven, jacket on and laptop bag in tow, his face devoid of the playfulness it had possessed only minutes ago as he glares at Saeran. Saeran grumbles something I can’t understand, folding his arms across his chest and looking away. I turn to Seven and open my mouth to protest, only to have him stride forward and place a finger to my parted lips.

“No, Yoosung. There’s a reason I haven’t told you what I do. Please trust me that it’s better for you to be in the dark, okay?” His face softens as he looks at me, withdrawing his finger and shouldering the bag. Glancing at the door, a thoughtful look crosses his features before he smiles at me, eyes sparkling again. “But I do have to work extra hard today. So, cutie pie Yoosungie, think you could give me a good luck kiss?”

“Wh-what?!” I sputter, jerking back and staring at him in shock. Cuddling is one thing, but kissing? I’ve never kissed anyone before, except maybe my parents and Rika’s dog. Why would I give him my first kiss? He’s a guy, and just a friend!? “Wh-why would I k-kiss you?” Great, I’m stuttering now because he’s got me so flustered. I can’t even think straight - it’s like that one single sentence completely short-circuited my brain, leaving me scrambling through a void of spider-webs and empty boxes to try to come up with something appropriate to say.

Leaning over the couch so that his face is close to mine, he smirks, all confidence and courage. “Because that’s what good friends do. Kiss each other for luck, to make sure nothing bad happens while they’re away from each other.” His golden eyes are boring into mine relentlessly with an intensity I don’t see directed at me often, and I feel the ever-familiar blush creeping up into my cheeks.

“B-but I’ve never heard of th-that! That’s not a th-thing, don’t t-tease me!” If I were an emoji right now, I’d definitely be something like this: (^_^;)

He’s even closer to me now, his nose almost touching mine and I feel like I’m on fire, literally on fire from the blush spreading all over my body. This is so embarrassing and I don’t know what to believe. Do people actually do that? No one’s ever asked me for a good luck kiss before as a friend; is it a thing?

“Bro smooches, Yoosung. They’re healing for the troubled soul~” Hot breath fans over my cheeks and my eyes close and I-I-I…can’t… think…

Suddenly the air changes and I slit open my eyes to find Saeran standing between us, his back against the couch and his hands tangled in Seven’s jacket as he shoves him away. I straighten up to peer over his shoulder to see Seven giving him a look; you know, one of those ones that are disgusted and angry and confused all rolled into one.

“What was that for?” he asks roughly, all warmth gone from his voice as he shoves Saeran’s hands off of him. The tension in the room has become so thick in mere seconds, and I am confused as to what, exactly, is happening between the twins right now.

I can’t see his face, but I can tell that Saeran is angry by how he’s standing; tall and barely leaning forward, hands that are shaking slightly fisted at his sides. Seven doesn’t seem intimidated, but I know I would be. “Don’t tease him like that,” Saeran says, and that anger I can see is also laced in his voice. But wait; he’s standing up for me? But I thought…

My brain feels like it’s short circuiting again.

Seven makes a rude sound followed by an even ruder hand gesture before pulling the bag back up to rest on his shoulder from where it’d fallen by his elbow, pointedly walking around Saeran to head to the door. The door opens and is slammed shut behind him before I can even say goodbye, and I’m left staring at the bland wood in no small amount of confusion. What in the world just happened?

“He didn’t even say bye…” I whisper, drooping down further onto the couch in hurt. It feels like I screwed up again, somehow. I seem to be doing that an awful lot lately. I wish I knew why.

“Don’t worry about him,” Saeran says softly, and I glance up to see that he’s turned around to face me, but his eyes are aimed to the side again. “He’s mad at me for stopping his fun. But Yoosung… friends don’t kiss. At least, not like he was implying.”

“O-oh.” Of course they don’t. He was just playing me again, like he always does. Poor gullible Yoosung, always the easy one to talk into believing something that’s not true. “Well, th-thanks for stepping in, Saeran.”

He nods, still not looking at me. An awkward silence arises between us and I consider bringing up the psychology project. After all, this is by far the longest amount of time he’s acknowledged my existence, not to mention the longest he’s been around me, period. So this would be the ideal time, right? Right. Time to step up to the plate, Yoosung. Let’s get the ball rolling.

I open my mouth to start to ask about his ideas when he cuts me off, eyes flitting between mine for a moment before looking away again. “I have some ideas written down for the project, if you’d like to see them.” I nod mutely, feeling an excitement start to build up within me. Finally! We could work together to get this done and maybe! Maybe he’d open up to me and we could be friends.

That’s not too much to hope for, right?

He nods back, spinning around and taking a few steps before pausing, tilting his chin toward his shoulder to speak once more. “I have to get my notebook. Be right back.” And with that, he’s moving down the hall.

I stand up and stretch for a moment, letting my eyes wander around the room I’m in. It’s changed since the last time I’d been here, most likely the result of having another person livingi in the small place. Outside of the Dr. Pepper stink of the couch, it’s actually cleaner than normal; I vaguely wonder if this means that Saeran actually tries to pick up after his messy brother.

Something catches my eye on a nearby end table and I walk over to it curiously, looking down at the open pages in front of me. Oh, it’s a sketchbook! It must be Saeran’s; didn’t Seven say he was an art major of some sort? Hmm, I’ll have to ask when he comes back out. The drawing on the open page is of a character from a movie I like, and he captured her likeness really well. I wonder what else is in here?

My hands hover over the book for a moment as I debate whether or not this is okay. Is it wrong, to flip through someone’s sketches without asking? It shouldn’t be, I don’t think. He wouldn’t have left it out here if he didn’t want anyone to look at it.

I pick it up and start flipping slowly through the pages, marveling at each character I see. Some are sketches while others he’s filled in with color, but all of them are equally amazing. There are a few little comics here and there, although he hasn’t added any words to them yet. Flipping a few more pages, I find a drawing of him and Seven from when they were younger, closer to the age I first met them. And wow… it’s really good as well. Smiling, I turn the page again.

“What are you doing?” A hand reaches out and snatches the book from me, and I bite my lip, looking at him guiltily. His face is cold now, back to what I’m used to seeing from him, except there’s anger too. The book is flipped shut and he shoves a piece of paper in my hand aggressively, backing away and glaring at me. “You can look through that and decide if any of them will work. I don’t care. Now get out.”

“But Saeran,” I start to protest, wanting it to be a decision we both make and also, wanting to apologize for upsetting him.

His lip curls up as he motions to the door, his voice pitching itself even higher than usual. “I said, get out.”

Tears prickling my eyes, I bolt to the door and put my shoes on, his paper crumpled in my hand as I hastily leave the apartment. It’s upsetting enough on its own, but my mind can still see the picture on the last page I saw before he took the book from me.

It was a picture of me.

#yooran #yoosung #yoosung kim #saeran #saeran choi #yoosung x saeran #mystic messenger #mysme #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger fanfic

46 notes · View notes

megakami · 6 years ago

Text

Cringy Land

by Tavian Floyd

Based on, F is for Family

CHARACTERS

FRANK MURPHY – A WORKING-CLASS AMERICAN WITH AN EXPLOSIVE TEMPER. HE IS TRYING TO KEEP HIS FAMILY AFLOAT BUT HIS PRIDE SOMETIMES GETS IN HIS WAY.

SUE MURPHY – FRANK’S WIFE WHO ISN’T CONTENT WITH HER LIFE. SHE TRIES TO KEEP HER FAMILY TOGETHER AND IS CURRENTLY WORKING AN UNFULFILLING JOB.

KEVIN MURPHY – FRANK AND SUE’S OLDEST SON. HE IS A SLACKER WHO OFTEN CHALLENGES HIS FATHER’S AUTHORITY. HE BULLIES HIS SIBLINGS BUT HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT THEM A LOT.

MAUREEN MURPHY – FRANK AND SUE’S ONLY DAUGHTER AND YOUNGEST CHILD. SHE IS FRANK AND SUE’S FAVORITE AND SHE IS A PERFECT ANGEL AROUND THEM. SHE HATES DOING “GIRLY” THINGS AND LIKES TO BE IN CONTROL.

BILL MURPHY – FRANK AND SUE’S YOUNGEST SON. HE’S SHY, TIMID, AND UNLUCKY. HE DOESN’T GET ALONG WELL WITH HIS SISTER AND HER RECKLESS TENDENCIES.

VIC – HE IS FRANK’S NEIGHBOR WHO USED TO WORK AS THE MARKETING MANAGER FOR THE LOCAL RADIO STATION. HE HAS A LOT OF MONEY, A DRUG PROBLEM, AND THE ADMIRATION OF THE OTHERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND AROUND THE CITY. FRANK DOESN’T LIKE HIM BUT VIC IS UNAWARE OF THIS.

BEN AND KENNY - THE RED NECK, NEIGHBORHOOD BOYS. BEN IS THE OLDER BROTHER AND KENNY IS THE YOUNGER, DIAPER WEARING, BROTHER. KENNY IS CLEARLY TOO OLD FOR A DIAPER. BOTH BEN AND KENNY ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER AND OTHERS TO DO DANGEROUS, STUPID THINGS.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FADE IN:

EXT. TV STORE – DAY

TEASER

The Murphy family is seen walking on the sidewalk in front of the TV store. Frank is carrying a few GROCERY BAGS in each hand. Frank stops because he sees COLT LUGER with a WOMAN on the TV display. The camera focuses in on the show.

WOMAN What are you going to do to get

Gigantomundo?

FRANK (O.S.) Whoa. Gigantomundo? This episodes

gonna be great.

COLT LUGER Well broad, sometimes a man’s got

to do...

Colt Luger raises his gun and looks into the camera. The screen pans out to reveal Colt Luger is standing in front of a carnival game where you have to knock down the cups to win. The operator of the game is staring off into the distance.

COLT LUGER What a man does!

Colt Luger unloads his gun into three stacks of cups and the operator looks terrified and curls into a ball to avoid being hit by what appears to be real bullets.

The screen zooms out to reveal an angry Frank as Colt Luger receives his giant bear prize.

FRANK Damnit, its just a commercial for

the amusement park.

Frank starts to walk away as Bill and Maureen press their faces to the glass to watch the commercial.

MAUREEN Daddy, Daddy! Can we go to the

park?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KEVIN You dweebs. Only little kids want

to go to that place.

Kevin’s eyes are glued to the screen as he talks. He is staring at Colt on a roller coaster as he fires his gun in the air. The riders behind him duck in fear.

SUE (Whispering to Frank) The kids

have been doing better in school, I covered the groceries this week, and we could use something good right now.

Frank drops his bags, which reveals they are filled with BOXED TV DINNERS, and pulls out his wallet. His wallet is empty except for a folded paper that reads electric bill.

FRANK Shit. You know, kids die on those

rides all the time. I’m not sure you want to go there.

As Frank starts talking, Bill and Maureen turn to face him and the TV changes to a breaking news story.

On the TV, we see helicopter footage of a TEACUP, with two passengers roll out of the park and into the freeway. A car tries to stop and manages to only tap the cup, but gets hit by the car behind it causing a chain reaction of car crashes. The cup and passengers are slowly rolling away unscathed.

MAUREEN Actually Daddy, the odds of dying

on an amusement park ride is only point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, eight percent.

The second maureen finishes, an eighteen-wheeler rams into the cup, shattering it and leaving a bloody tire trail in its wake. The Murphy family doesn’t see this and is staring at Maureen.

FRANK Geez, what are they teaching kids

in school these days.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2)

The TV screen changes to an image of a man between two banners that read “CULPRIT,” and “STILL AT LARGE.” The man on screen is a dirty blond, with hair in his eyes, missing a tooth and holding a wrench. He looks eerily similar to BEN.

A MAN walks by with his wife and son and BUMPS INTO Frank, knocking his empty wallet out of his hand. Frank bends down to pick it up.

MAN (Directed towards the TV) Thats a

shame.

Frank, whose bent over, raises his eyebrows in surprise before they furrow with anger. Frank shoots back up.

FRANK Hey! What the fuck did you just

say to me! You think I can’t provide for my family or something? I fought in Korea--

SUE --Frank please calm down.

FRANK No! My Family is going to that

park!

The man and his family are scared and run off as soon as Frank finishes speaking.

MAUREEN Really Daddy!

Maureen runs in to hug Frank, who returns the hug. His wallet is still in his hand with the white paper sticking out of it. Frank sees the paper and his face has a look of worry on it.

FRANK Oh o-of course sweet pea.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

The camera is zoomed in on Sue sleeping in her bed. She begins to roll over. She does an unexpected two full rolls and hits her head on her dresser. Sue wakes up, rubbing her head, dazed.

SUE Ow. What the hell?

Sue turns to see Frank lifting up one side of the mattress.

FRANK Oh sorry hun. I had to get some

cash I tucked away if things got... bad.

Sue perks up a bit and smiles.

SUE I had no idea you were thinking

that far ahead.

FRANK Of course. You think I’m going to

let my family starve.

Frank pulls out a box and throws it onto the bed. Sue looks at it and sees a FEW loose bills.

SUE Frank. Theres less than fifty

dollars here. I’m not sure thats even going to get us through the door. If you’re reaching into your savings then maybe we should reconsider this trip.

There is a knock on the door and we hear Bills voice.

BILL (O.S.) Hey are you guys ready yet?

FRANK Mommy and Daddy are talking. Go

watch TV or something!

Ugh. Fine. Bill walks away

BILL

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FRANK Sue, we can’t let these kids down again. I know its not much but we

need this. You said it yourself.

Sue looks back at the box and lets out a sigh. She picks up the cash, straightens it, and starts counting it.

SUE If we’re going to do this then we

have to set a budget.

A budget?

FRANK

SUE Yes Frank. We have to make sure we

can afford to pay our bills for next month.

FRANK Right. Next months bills.

Frank scratches the back of the head.

SUE Here’s thirty dollars. If we don’t

spend more than this we should be fine for next month.

Sue stands up and starts getting dressed. Frank looks at Sue for a beat before he starts to return the box back under the mattress. Frank realizes Sue can’t see him. He takes the rest of the money and folds it into his wallet.

FRANK I’ll see you in the car.

Sue nods in acknowledgment and Frank walks out the door.

INT. FRANKS CAR - DAY

Frank backs his car out of the Garage. From Frank’s seat we can see the fridge in the kitchen window and VIC’s house in his rearview mirror.

FRANK What are y’all waiting for? Get in

the car! Y’all were supposed to be waiting for us, ungrateful little...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

Bill and Maureen come running out and hop into the car. Kevin is walking slowly towards the car with his hands in his pockets and a pout on his face.

FRANK Damnit, where’s Sue?

Sue is shown in the kitchen window grabbing the CAT COOKIE JAR off of the fridge. Inside the jar is a Plat-A- Ware container with rolls of dollar bills. Sue grabs a roll and walks towards the garage.

While Frank waits, he sees VIC pull out of his garage in his pink convertible, painted with a nude picture of Cutie Pie, Vic’s girlfriend, on every visible side of the car. Along with Cutie Pie in the front, three girls in bikini’s are playfully pushing each other in the backseat. Vic stops in the center of Frank’s driveway, blocking his way out.

FRANK Jesus. What does he want. Bill

close your eyes.

Why?

BILL

Frank reaches back and flicks Bill between the eyes. His eyes close as tears start to run down his face.

VIC Frank, my man. Where you headed?

Frank grips his steering wheel tighter and looks straight ahead, ignoring the question.

MAUREEN Aren’t you going to answer Mr.

Vic?

FRANK Well sweet pea, I’m hoping Mr. Vic

gets the message and leaves. Remember, sometimes ignoring your problems is the only way they’ll go away.

Kevin walks past Frank’s window but instead of getting in the car he walks up to Vic’s car.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS Kevin stands next Vic and gives him a fist bump.

KEVIN We’re going to Four Flags. You

know the amusement park.

VIC For real Kevino? What a co-winky-

dink. I’m hosting the memorial concert there for the accident.

KEVIN Really? That’s awesome! Wait what

accident?

VIC Ha. Exactly my man. Your already

thinking like the big wigs. No time to close. Another day, more cash, as they say.

Franks head is now poking out of his open car window.

FRANK What is that man on this time.

(Yelling) Kevin get your ass in this car and Vic, stop blocking my damn driveway!

KEVIN Dad, Vic’s going to the park too.

Can I ride with him?

VIC Yeah its no problem ma man. I’ll

even get the kid in free and save you a couple of bucks.

Vic playfully ruffles Kevin’s hair, in a loving father kind of way. Frank clenches the wheel again as Sue finally slides into the passenger seat.

FRANK I don’t need your charity Vic, or

my kid riding in a literal cum- vertible.

Frank!

SUE

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

VIC Cum-vertible? Oh. The lady

Ha! You crack me up Frank.

SUE Frank maybe you should let

go with him. It’ll save us bucks.

dance.

Kevin three

FRANK Shit. Tickets are three bucks a

piece? You should have said that sooner (Yelling) Kevin get your ass in Vic’s car right now!

Sweet.

KEVIN

Kevin does a pelvic thrust of victory and jumps into the back seat. The middle girl grabs him and lets him rest his head on her breasts. The other two girls press up against his sides and, squishing Kevin’s face. His face turns red with excitement.

VICS GIRLS

He’s so cute! Vic takes a look at his watch.

VIC Look at the time. I’ve got to get

going. Catch you later Frankerino!

FRANK Something is wrong with that man.

EXT. NEIGHBOR’S BUSHES - DAY

Ben and Kenny watch as Vic drive away from inside BUSHES next to the Murphy’s driveway. Kenny has a SUCKER sticking out of his mouth.

BEN What do you think? Wanna go see

Uncle Ronnie at the park?

Kenny takes the sucker out of his mouth and attached to it is one of Kenny’s teeth stuck on it.

KENNY Yeah. I wanna try that cup ride on

the TV box.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

Ben returns with a toothy smile. Kenny puts the lollipop, tooth and all, back into his mouth.

BEN Me too. Hand me the screw driver

would ya?

Kenny reaches into his diaper and pulls out a screwdriver with a red handle and BROWN spots all over it. Ben frowns a bit but takes the screwdriver anyway.

BEN Whens the last time you changed

your diaper?

KENNY I just changed it three days ago.

Ben tilts his head back and starts unfolding his fingers one by one as if he’s counting.

BEN Then you should be good for

another two days. Lets go.

The boys scramble out of the bush. Kenny’s diaper has an extra mass that is hanging from his diaper that is dangling as he walks.

Ben puts the dirty screwdriver in the truck lock and jiggles it a bit before it pops open. Ben climbs in and Kenny follows.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANKS CAR - CONTINUOUS Frank sees the trunk popped up in his rearview mirror.

FRANK The stupid trunk’s on the fritz

again.

SUE Should I send Bill out to close

it?

FRANK Nah I got it honey.

Frank shifts gears and jams his foot on the gas.

10.

EXT. FRANKS TRUNK - CONTINUOUS

Kenny is almost inside the trunk when the car jolts backward. The car turns quickly and speeds off with enough force to send the trunk crashing back down. Ben pulls Kenny’s leg out of the way but part of the diaper is caught. This produces a loud squishing noise and causes a green scent trail to appear.

Ben and Kenny plug their noses and try to muffle each other’s giggling.

EXT. ROAD - DAY

We see the Franks car driving on the road leaving a green trail as it drives. Everyone that drives into the streak switches lanes.

FRANK Christ, what’s that smell?

SUE My god, I smell it too.

FRANK Jesus Bill, say something if

you’re going to rip one like that.

BILL But it’s not me.

FRANK Well it sure as hell ain’t me a

because I’d own up to it. You’ve got to own up to that stuff Bill. Show’s you’re a man.

Umm okay.

BILL

FRANK Just don’t embrace it in my

fucking car. END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

11.

EXT. TICKET BOOTH – DAY

Frank, Sue, Bill, and Maureen walk up to the front of the line and are surprised to see ROSIE behind the counter. Franks hunched demeanor and scowling face changes to an upright smile when he sees Rosie behind the counter.

Rosie is wearing a uniform and tie similar to his mohican uniform except its colored red and gold.

FRANK Rosie? What are you

ROSIE Well I’ll be. If it

Murphy family.

doing here? isn’t the

SUE How’s Georgia doing?

ROSIE Not great. She just got laid off

from the hair salon. They found out her afro was just a bad weave.

Sue is surprised and is avoiding eye contact with Rosie.

SUE I’m sorry to hear that...

ROSIE Yeah, so I picked up this job on

the weekends until things smooth out. It actually almost pays as much as the airline if you can believe it, and they’ve got kids working this thing.

FRANK I could have sworn I was getting

paid at least twice as much as what they make hear.

Rosie looks at Frank and shakes his head.

ROSIE You poor naiive white people.

That’ll be twelve bucks.

(CONTINUED)

12.

CONTINUED:

FRANK I was actually hoping we could get

the friends and family discount?

ROSIE Sure. Twelve bucks.

Seriously?

FRANK

ROSIE Sorry, Frank. I’m actually trying

to keep my job. Maybe if you followed the rules you wouldn’t be hastling me for discounts.

FRANK Geez Rosie I get it.

Frank slips the twelve dollars under the divider while rubbing his shoulder as if it were hurt. Rosie hands them the tickets and the family walks off.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

The trunk of Frank’s car pops open. Ben jumps out as Kenny tries to climb out. Kenny’s diaper is stretched out even more than before. The diaper hits the ground before Kenny does.

BEN Lets go, while they’re busy.

Ben runs off. Kenny follows but can’t keep up.

KENNY Wait up, my diapy is draggin.

EXT. PARK ENTRANCE

The teenage TICKET TAKER in a red and gold uniform is letting customers in the long line through.

Ben weaves through the line expertly and no one pays attention to him.

TICKET TAKER Your ticket kid?

(CONTINUED)

13.

CONTINUED:

Ben smiles and proceeds to pants the Ticket Taker whose wearing ripped blue jean booty shoots underneath his red pants.

TICKET TAKER No! No one is supposed to know.

Ben puts his finger on his lip in confusion the Ticket Taker starts to panic and reach for his pants like Ben expected.

As Kenny comes up in the rear, the line splits for him as everyone reels over from the stench. Someone even vomits. Kenny has no clue this is happening because of him.

Ben grabs Kenny’s arm and they run into the park. They see their UNCLE waving at them while running from overweight park security.

The Ticket Taker has pulled his pants back up as Frank and the family walk up.

FRANK You gonna take our tickets or

what? I didn’t pay three dollars to walk through here for free.

TICKET TAKER I’m sorry sir, its just these kids

came by--

FRANK --I didn’t ask for your life story

kid.

SUE Frank, be nice.

Sue takes the tickets and hands them to the boy as the family goes through the turnstile.

Vic and the girls, still clinging to Kevin, walk up to the Ticket Taker.

TICKET TAKER Wow, you’re Vic! Right this way.

The ticket taker stretches out his arm to motion them inside the park. Vic snaps his fingers and makes two finger gun motions towards the ticket taker as they walk through the turnstile.

14.

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK - DAY

The Murphy family stands in front of a carousel and Kevin walks with Vic. Kevin spots a chili dog stand and stops to stare at it. Kevin reaches into his pockets but they come back out empty.

KEVIN Damnit. Hey Vic can I borrow--

When Kevin turns back he realizes Vic and his girls have already walked away. Kevin’s stomach starts to growl as he walks toward his parents.

Damnit.

KEVIN (CONT'D)

FRANK What the hell you say to me?

KEVIN Nothing. Whats a kid got to do to

get some food around here? And I need money for rides and junk. You don’t expect me hang around kiddie land.

Oh no to be going

FRANK you don’t. This is supposed

a family trip. You’re not anywhere.

SUE Give him the money Frank.

But Sue?

FRANK

SUE This is a trip for the family, not

a family trip, and Kevin’s old enough to have fun on his own.

FRANK Fine. I want my change back.

Frank pulls out TWO DOLLARS, crumples them up, and droops in Kevin’s outstretched hand. Kevin unfolds the bills.

KEVIN What am I supposed to do with two

dollars?

(CONTINUED)

15.

CONTINUED: Frank!

SUE

FRANK What, we’re on a budget.

Sue scowls and Frank rolls his eyes as he drops two more crumpled bills in Kevin’s hands.

KEVIN Seriously? Just four dollars? Mom?

SUE We are on a budget sweetie.

KEVIN I hate this family!

Kevin stomps away towards the chili dog stand.

FRANK He’ll be fine.

(turns to kids) Alright what do you little monsters want to do?

MAUREEN I want to ride the bumper cups.

BILL Ooh ooh, me too.

FRANK Bumper cups? I swear whoever comes

up with these names is just lazy. The Murphy family walks towards the ride.

INT. BEHIND BUMPER CUP RIDE - DAY

Ronnie lies under a cup in the open tent. Ben and Kenny watch from the back entrance.

BEN You fix that cup yet uncle Ronnie?

Ronnie gives a wide toothy grin, showing his missing teeth.

RONNIE Almost. Oh you kids are going to

have so much fun.

(CONTINUED)

16.

CONTINUED:

KENNY Hey Ronnie, how come thems coppers

was chasin yous earlier? Ronnie slides out from under the cup.

RONNIE Those guys were just buzz kills

because one person had an accident. It ain’t my fault the walls broke down. I just make the rides fun. I aint no fence repairman.

(Turns to the boys) Make sure you use that yeller cup there.

Ronnie walks towards the controls at the rides entrance.

Ben and Kenny jump into the yellow cup. Kenny makes a loud squishy noise when he sits down.

EXT. BUMPER CUP RIDE - DAY The Murphy family walks up to the front of the line.

FRANK Must be our luck day Sue. Almost

no wait.

RONNIE That’ll be one dollar per rider.

FRANK You know you remind me of

someone...Wait did you say a dollar?

RONNIE Well two since yous got two kids.

FRANK What the hell? Rides aren’t

included?

SUE (Pulls Frank away)

Whats the problem Frank?

(CONTINUED)

17.

CONTINUED:

FRANK Robbery. After the cotton candy

and funnel cakes I’ve only got four bucks left.

Progressively louder) Why the hell do we even have to pay to get in if everything inside is going to cost me money?

Ronnie has started picking his nose and is slouching over the controls, ignoring Franks outburst.

SUE (Yelling)

Stop making a scene!

Sue pushes Frank out of the way and pays Ronnie, who pockets the money instead of opening the register.

FRANK Jesus Sue. Remind me not to cross

you.

Thanks Mom.

MAUREEN

BILL Yeah that was awesome

The kids run into the ride. Sue drags Frank away so the next people in line can pay. Sue turns to Frank with a scowl on her face.

INT. BUMPER CUP RIDE - DAY

A loud beep rings and a red light shifts to green signaling the start of the ride. Bill and Maureen are sitting in a red cup and across from them is Ben and Kenny in their yellow cup. Other kids occupy other assorted cups.

Bill and Maureen spin the cup together and get bumped once or twice before they spot Ben and Kenny.

BILL What are they doing here?

MAUREEN (Waving)

Hey Ben, Hey Kenny. The brothers waves back with a smile.

(CONTINUED)

18.

CONTINUED:

BEN Hey Maureen. Wes going to hit you.

Ben and Kenny grab their wheel on a stick and tilt it hard towards Maureen and Bill’s cup. The cup shoots off with unexpected speed and rams into Bill and Maureen’s red cup.

Bill and Maureen’s cup spins rapidly as they approach a flimsy fence.

BILL Shit, shit, shit!

Bill raises his arms in defense as the red cup gets closer to the wall, there is a zoom in on the wheels as a brake system falls into place causing spikes to pop up under the cup. The ride miraculously stops short of the fence.

MAUREEN Don’t be such a pussy Bill.

BILL I am not! Wait, I don’t like the

look on your face right now.

Maureen stares at Ben and Kenny across the ride’s floor. She has a furrowed brow with a devilish smile on her face.

Please don’t

BILL (CONT'D)

Bill braces himself by clutching the rides restraints as Maureen grabs the ride’s wheel. She yanks it back and points it towards Ben and Kenny.

The red cups shoots off quickly, spinning rapidly while moving forward.

BEN Shit, shit, shit!

The red cup makes contact and the yellow cup is sent flying. As the yellow cup approaches the fence, the brakes fail to activate.

The yellow cup gains momentum instead of slowing down and the cup bursts through the fence and into the park.

19.

EXT. PARK - DAY This is a birds-eye view of the park.

The yellow cup crashes into an ice cream cart, causing it to land on the man working there and sending ice cream flying everywhere.

The cup then hits a funnel cake stand, knocks over a roller coaster for toddlers, and riccochets into the memorial concert where the ride destroys the instruments and sound equipment by bouncing off of each item.

In a close up of the ride we can see Ben and Kenny with outstretched arms, happy as can be.

BEN This is awesome

I knows!

KENNY

The ride finally richochets into the gaming center and knocks down the water balloon filling game. The kids playing cleared out but the attendant working was stuck behind the counter.

When the ride crashes into the the tent caves in, causing the and the unconscious attendant.

The camera focuses on the back two bulges form under the blue tent material and Ben and Kenny pop out, surprisingly unscathed. Kenny has grabbed himself a light blue bear from the wreckage.

KENNY Yous was right, Uncle Ronnie does

know hows to make a good time.

BEN Never doubt your family.

EXT. BUMPER CUP RIDE - DAY

Frank and Sue stand at the ride’s exit. They can see the hole into the park directly across from their position at the exit. They can see where the cup crashed into the game at this position.

game, the balloon pops and prizes to land on the ride

of the collapsed tent as

(CONTINUED)

20.

CONTINUED:

FRANK Holy shit. I told them kids die on

these things.

SUE Yeah maybe its time to do

something else.

Bill and Maureen come out of the ride’s exit. Maureen runs in to hug her parents. Bill trails behind with wide eyes and a slight frown.

BILL That was kind of fucked up.

FRANK You’re alive kid. Suck it up.

MAUREEN Daddy, can we go play some games

now? I want to win a teddy.

SUE I think that’s a good idea.

FRANK Not sure how many games two

dollars is going to get us. Sue pulls out her purse and gives Frank five dollars.

SUE I’ll take Bill to play some games.

Lets make this a good day for the kids. Remember, don’t play a game more than twice. You have a tendency to get sucked into these things.

Frank quickly grabs the money.

FRANK I don’t get sucked into anything.

(Turns to Maureen) Lets go sweet pea.

The Murphys walk towards the game area.

21.

EXT. PARK CROSSROADS - DAY

Kevin sees the family walk into the game area as he finishes his chili dog. He walks in that direction before stopping and seeing LEX and BOLO near the carousel.

Lex and Bolo are smoking joints and their eyes are a dark pink. Kevin walks up to them.

KEVIN Yo guys, what are you doing here?

LEX (Remaining calm

throughout) Just smoking a doobie man. Get off our backs.

Yeah.

BOLO

KEVIN I mean at the parks you idiots,

and give me a hit of that. Kevin grabs the joint from Bolo as Lex talks

LEX We aren’t here for those baby

rides. We came for Fuck Gun’s the memorial concert but G-d struck down the bands instruments with an enchanted cup from the sky.

Kevin’s eyes get pinker from a single, long inhale of the joint.

KEVIN Shit this is good.

Yeah.

BOLO

LEX Then Bolo scored this killer weed

from some dude in a trench coat. They call it Coin Flip because the high is either really good or really bad. And we’ve just been...smoking it.

Yeah.

BOLO

(CONTINUED)

22.

CONTINUED:

KEVIN Yeah well, I didn’t come for that

baby stuff either.

There is a long silence as the group passes around the joint. Kevin stares at the roller coaster with his mouth open and a blank look in his eyes.

KEVIN But wouldn’t be cool, if like, we just rode the big roller coaster.

Just to see how babyish it is. There’s another pause.

LEX That’d be funny. I’m down.

BOLO The group walks towards the roller coaster.

EXT. ROLLER COASTER LINE - DAY

Lex and Bolo eyes are now BLOOD RED. They are looking around frantically. Kevin’s arms are to his side, his eyes are pink, and he has a small smile on his face.

In front of Kevin in line a blonde haired girl, JEN, who Kevin starts staring at. Kevin reaches out to tap her shoulder.

KEVIN You look soooo hot.

Yeah.

Umm okay.

JEN

The line moves forward and Jen turns around to get in her coaster car. As she turns, she turns into Sweetie Pie, Kevin’s crush and Vics girlfriend.

Kevin stands there without getting onto the ride.

JEN (Seductively, as

Sweetie Pie) What are you waiting for? You scared or somethin?

(CONTINUED)

23.

CONTINUED:

KEVIN I ain’t scared of nothing. I’m all

man.

Kevin gets on the ride and Lex and Bolo get in the car behind him, still rapidly shifting their heads as if looking out for something.

EXT. ROLLER COASTER - DAY The coaster cars start to climb slowly up to the peak.

Kevin stares at the peak which starts to extend into the clouds as he looks at. Butterflies and rainbows appear to cover the peak of the coaster.

KEVIN This is going to be awesome.

(turning back) Don’t you think guys.

Lex and Bolo’s blood red eyes look towards the top too. From their perspective they see an endless ride in a red sky with no peak in sight. In place of butterflies, imp demons fly around, spitting small fire balls.

LEX Please daddy I promise I’ll be

good. Don’t make me go up there.

BOLO (Looking at the

ground) No mommy, come back. Don’t leave me alone here.

When they get to the peak we see Kevin looking at Jen, as Cutie pie. The light shines on Cutie Pie and she smiles at Kevin who smiles back. Kevin thinks he had a moment with the girl when the ride drops.

Kevin raises his arms and laughs happily as the ride drops. Lex and Bolo are freaking out.

They look at the bottom and see the face of the devil. The coaster tracks morph into the devil’s tongue and the imps circle Lex and Bolo while laughing hysterically.

Lex reaches back and claws at the kid sitting behind him, managing to get his finger in the kid’s eye.

(CONTINUED)

24.

CONTINUED:

LEX No, please, I don’t want to go to

hell. I promise Mommy, I won’t touch myself again.

BOLO I promise, next time I won’t

watch!

The ride gets to the bottom and enters the first. At the peak of the loop, Bolo vomits. The vomit falls straight down. At the bottom of the loop, the vomit lands squarely on Jen’s hair.

JEN Ah! What the hell?

Kevin turns and looks at Jen, who morphs into a Cutie Pie in a bikini with wet hair.

KEVIN (loudly)

Wow you look even more amazing than before.

JEN You freak!

Jens hair is whipping back with the gust of the ride, causing chunks of Vomit to hit Bolo back in the face.

BOLO I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to like

it.

LEX I want to go home.

EXT. ROLLER COASTER EXIT - DAY

Kevin walks out of the exit with Jen close behind. Kevin turns to the vomit soaked Jen.

KEVIN So do you think I can have your

number?

JEN Stay away from me you creep.

Jen walks away but Kevin is still smiling. Nothing can bring his day down. Lex and Bolo walk out after.

(CONTINUED)

25.

CONTINUED:

KEVIN You know, that was pretty fun.

Maybe those kids know what they’re talking about.

LEX Fuck that. I’m out of here.

Yeah.

BOLO

Lex and Bolo start walking away. As they walk, the park security runs after Ronnie.

KEVIN Alright see you guys later.

(To himself) Wonder who those security guys were after?

Kevin walks in the direction of the security guards, into the games area.

EXT. PIN GAME - DAY

Maureen and Bill walk up to the game. A sign with bold letters says 25 cents a game on it and another lists Levels for prizes. The game is set up with three sets of three pins stacked in a pyramid formation. A GAME CONDUCTOR is sitting in a chair reading a magazine featuring girls in bikinis.

How much?

FRANK

GAME CONDUCTOR Read the sign.

FRANK Seriously? This is how you’re

going to treat a paying customer?

The Game Conductor looks up from his chair. He has an annoyed look on his face.

GAME CONDUCTOR That’ll be twenty-five cents.

FRANK That sir to you kid. I fought for

this country and I will be respected.

(CONTINUED)

26.

CONTINUED:

MAUREEN Daddy can you just pay the man. I

want to play the game.

FRANK Of course sweet heart.

(To Game Conductor) Here.

Frank pays the conductor and gets 75 cents back.

The Game Conductor hands Maureen a ball before sitting back down and picking up his magazine.

GAME CONDUCTOR You get three throws. Have at it.

Maureen throws the ball. It MISSES. She looks up at Frank.

FRANK You got this. Try again sweet pea.

Maureen throws the second ball. It misses.

FRANK I believe in you honey.

Maureen throws the last ball and knocks down a SINGLE PIN.

MAUREEN Yay. I actually hit it.

FRANK That you did. Good job.

(To Game Conductor) Wheres her prize?

GAME CONDUCTOR No prize for one pin.

FRANK What the hell do you mean no prize

for one pin?

GAME CONDUCTOR Read the sign.

FRANK (Yelling)

I’m not reading a damn sign!

(CONTINUED)

27.

CONTINUED: (2)

GAME CONDUCTOR (Looks up)

You need at least three pins for a prize.

FRANK (with gritted teeth)

Fine. Would you like me to try honey?

MAUREEN

Yes please. Frank hands the man another quarter and takes his balls.

FRANK I’ll show you how I survived in

Nam.

Frank throws the first ball and overshoots by a wide margin. The Game Conductor laughs.

MAUREEN Um Daddy are you sure about this?

FRANK Just warming up Sweety.

Frank throws the second ball. It HITS THE EDGE OF THE TABLE and bounces off, hitting Maureen in the head.

Ow!

MAUREEN

FRANK Just a little friendly fire. It

happens sometimes. Walk it off. I know Goomer did. Bless his heart. I got this.

Frank throws the last ball and hits the pyramid of pins in the center, knock down all three.

FRANK Boom! Thats how you become an ace

sniper for the US of A.

MAUREEN By missing a lot?

Before Frank can respond:

(CONTINUED)

28.

CONTINUED: (3)

GAME CONDUCTOR Here’s your prize

The conductor pulls out a bear keychain and slides it across to Frank.

FRANK What the hell is this? My daughter

wants the bear.

GAME CONDUCTOR No can do. The only level one

prizes are key chains.

FRANK Key chains? That’s bullshit we

came for the damn bear.

Frank slams his hand on the counter and points DIAGONALLY UPWARD towards the bears. There are to sizes of bears in that direction and its ambiguous which bear Fank is pointing too. The Conductor assumes its the larger one.

GAME CONDUCTOR Oh you want ‘the’ bear. You’ve got

to knock down all three sets of pins to get that one.

FRANK Are you serious? Who comes up with

this shit?

GAME CONDUCTOR I don’t make the rules man. I just

work here.

MAUREEN Its ok Daddy, I don’t need the

bear and mommy said not to play more than twice.

FRANK No, if my little girl wants the

bear, she’s getting a bear. Besides Mommy was talking to you, not me.

MAUREEN I don’t think she was.

Frank ignores her and hands the Game Conductor another dollar.

(CONTINUED)

29.

CONTINUED: (4)

He plays again, this time managing to knock down the first set and the second set, but misses his third shot greatly. The game conductor gets up to hand Frank a prize but Frank calls out to him.

FRANK Don’t bother unless its the damn

bear. I’m not filling my house with this shit.

The conductor sits back down and Frank slides him another quarter. This time Frank knocks down the first two sets but only gets the top pin in the third set.

FRANK Jiog-ei geim jeoju.! (damn this

game to hell in Korean)

GAME CONDUCTOR You sure you don’t want you prize?

Frank ignores him and slides another dollar to the conductor.

A short montage of Frank failing takes place: One where he misses all three shots, one where he focuses all shots on the last pins to prove it can be knocked down, one where he almost wins but the final pin jumps back into place after leaning as if it were going to fall.

Maureen arms are folded throughout.

MAUREEN Daddy I don’t even want the bear

now. Can we play something else? Frank kneels down on one knee to speak to Maureen.

FRANK Darling, this isn’t about you

anymore. Sometimes a man commits to something, and as a man, he has to see that commitment through to the end. Thats what man does and thats what I’m going to do. You understand?

MAUREEN So are you committed to sitting

around the house? You get fired a lot.

(CONTINUED)

30.

CONTINUED: (5)

Frank grabs the top his noses and pinches himself between the eyes in frustration and stands back up. Frank opens his wallet and see’s the electric bill blocking his last quarter.

FRANK Shit. I spent it all. Well there’s

no point in holding onto this quarter.

Frank slides his last quarter to the conductor and grabs his last three balls.

He knocks down the first two towers with ease, but on the third, he knocks out the LOWER LEFTT PIN. The top pin stays perfectly still even though it should be unbalanced.

FRANK Holy shit... This game is fucking

rigged! (Turns to Game

Conductor) Did you know about this?

What?

GAME CONDUCTOR

Frank pics up a quarter and throws it at the pins. It sticks to the top one instead of bouncing off.

FRANK Fucking magnets! Whats your

fucking game? You pocket hard working people’s money?

GAME CONDUCTOR Naw man thats just how it works. I

thought everyone knew these games were rigged.

FRANK I’m going to kill you.

Frank pulls the from behind the counter and starts punching him.

Daddy stop!

MAUREEN

The security guards run past the game at this point. They stop and grab Frank.

(CONTINUED)

31.

CONTINUED: (6)

FRANK What the hell! Get off me. That

man stole my money. I’m the victim here.

Sue and Bill walk in from the right. Kevin walks in from the left.

SUE Oh my G-d! Frank? What happened?

FRANK This asshole stole my money. The

game is rigged Sue, its rigged.

SUE Damnit Frank. I told you not to play more than twice. Why can’t

you just listen for once?

KEVIN Holy shit. My dad’s going to jail?

SUE Don’t worry. They’re not real cops

we just won’t be back at this park for a while.

The security officers cuff Frank and start walking him away.

SUE (CONT'D) We’ll see you outside honey.

FRANK

As Frank approaches the exit another group of security brings up RONNIE next to Frank.

FRANK What they get you for?

RONNIE I was just trying to make the

rides fun again and they go and cuff me.

Yeah. Yeah.

EXT. PARK EXIT - SUNSET

(CONTINUED)

32.

CONTINUED:

FRANK Right? I got my money stolen and

they cuffed me. The legal system is backwards. I feel for you.

They make it to the park exit and a police car pulls up.

FRANK Holy shit, I’m actually going to

jail?

PARK OFFICER Naw, they’re here for the other

guy. He’s responsible for two murders, 5 injuries, and seven thousand in property damage.

RONNIE (Laughing)

It was a good ride though. Ronnie gets into the cop car.

FRANK Damn. Thats fucked up.

PARK OFFICER Yep. As for you, I don’t want to

see your face around here again or we will get the cops involved.

The officer unshackles Frank and pushes him through the exit before closing the gate.

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

Frank sits in his car and sees the rest of his family approach through his side mirror. Kevin is chowing on chili dogs and Maureen is holding a teddy bear. Bill has cotton candy. They get into the car.

FRANK (Quietly to Sue)

I’m sorry Sue. I messed up.

INT. FRANKS CAR - SUNSET

I know.

SUE

(CONTINUED)

33.

CONTINUED:

FRANK No I mean. I spent all the money I

had.

SUE Don’t worry Frank I didn’t give

you more than we could afford.

FRANK I spent a little more than that.

What?

SUE

EXT. PARKING LOT – SUNSET

Ben and Kenny stroll up to the car with dirty mouths. Kenny’s diaper is still dragging on the ground leaving a brown streak in his path.

KENNY That poop dog sure was good. Maybe

I should make mines owns.

BEN That wasn’t poop you dimwit. It

was chili. They just look the same. Get in the trunk.

Ben jiggles the lock again and both boys hop in the trunk.

INT. FRANKS CAR - SUNSET

SUE (loudly)

You spent the rest of your savings?

FRANK I just said that. You can lower

your voice.

SUE Lower my--You’re lucky I have been

saving. It seems like I’m the only one capable of providing for this family.

Frank is silent while he starts the car.

(CONTINUED)

34.

CONTINUED:

BILL Umm are we going to be okay.

FRANK Don’t worry. Everything’s going to

be fine. Its just that I’m not sure what we’re going to eat tonight.

BILL Thats ok. I’m not hungry.

MAUREEN Yeah me neither.

Kevin’s eyes are still pink.

KEVIN Seriously? I’m starving. But I’d

rather starve than eat another of those TV dinners, so I guess I’m good.

FRANK Wow, really? Maybe this won’t be

so bad.

Daddy, thanks bear. I had a

MAUREEN for winning me the great time.

BILL Yeah me too.

Me a three.

KEVIN

FRANK Really guys?

(to Sue) When did she?

SUE The man gave it to her after you

were taken away. There is a pause and a tear rolls down Frank’s eye.

SUE (CONT'D) I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s ok. We’ll find a way. We always

do.

(CONTINUED)

35.

CONTINUED: (2)

FRANK I know honey.

Frank leans for a kiss but is stopped.

SUE Good lord, what is that smell?

FRANK Damnit Bill, again?

BILL It’s not me. I swear.

FRANK Ugh, then Kevin? Seriously?

KEVIN What the hell? I didn’t do it.

FRANK Don’t give me that shit. I saw you

with those chili dogs.

Frank rolls down the windows and kevin sits back with his arms folded and lips poked out in anger.

INT. MURPHY’S GARAGE - NIGHT

The family exits the car. Frank opens the door and lets everyone through except Kevin.

FRANK You’re not bringing that shit into

the house.

KEVIN But I didn’t do anything!

FRANK I’ve heard that before.

Frank slams the door in Kevin’s face. Kevin hears his parents behind the door

SUE (O.S.) Frank. How come the lights aren’t

working?

FRANK (O.S.) Ha, ha. Who needs lightS in the

middle of the night anyway?

(CONTINUED)

36.

CONTINUED: Frank Murphy!

SUE (O.S.)

EXT. MURPHY'S GARAGE - NIGHT

Kevin angrily mumbles something incomprehensible to himself as he makes his way to the basement.

Ben and Kenny let themselves out of the car trunk and Kevin spots them scurrying away.

KEVIN What the fuck?

Ben turns and laughs before running down the street. Kenny follows but his diaper gets caught on a bush, ripping it off and exposing his brown stained butt.

KEVIN I really need to stop smoking.

END ACT THREE

0 notes

yelir-atsirk · 8 years ago

Text

1.Name Krista 2. Age 23 3. City that you live in Kansas City 4. What do most people not know about you? I have terrible stage fright 5. What do most people know you for? I hope people know me for my kindness, my sillyness and genuine nature. 6. Hobbies I love to sing and paint. 7. What are your passions? People, Love, Joy, Travel, God, Family and Service in pursuit of those things. 8. What do you search for in a significant other? Intellect, kindness, a humble nature, generous, goofy and gentle. Deep, soft, eyes and a hearty smile. 7. What are you most proud of? My ability to stick to my guns and do the right thing when it really matters. 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? My mother and I often have those. Outside of that, it has been quite some time that I've had a real milestone conversation with a love of mine own. 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? Not really? Coffee mugs are abundant, I keep little memorabilia from all over and can never seem to quit collecting pens. 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. Visit Ireland Cross country road trip Ride in a Hot Air Balloon Cooking Class Take Piano Lessons Preform Live on stage Death Cab for Cutie live Grand Canyon Graduate College Attend a Murder Mystery Party 11. What was the last thing you learned? My Mom was teaching me how to make an omelet. 12. How many relationships have you been in? I count 3 legitimate one. 13. Turn ons Make me laugh, play with my hair and shut my mind up. Good kissers, strong arms, steady hands. 14. Turn offs Bad breath, insecurity, tough lips and try hards. It's meant to be fun, don't take it all too seriously. 15. Favorite food Pizza, melty cheese. 16. Favorite drink I love dr.pepper, sweet tea, blue moon and ice cold water. 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? Chicago Trip was pretty awesome, Gambino trip was equally awesome. 18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic, no doubt. 19. Do you sleep during class? Not intentionally. 20. What is the most expensive thing you own? Do student loans count? 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? Key rings and Carribeaners 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? Yikes, lots. 23. Text or call? I love phone calls. 24. Opinion on long distance? It just doesn't work long term, plain and simple. It's like having half of a relationship. 25. What is your definition of success? Happiness. A balanced life. Simplicity. 26. Favorite song? Impossible to say. 27. Favorite artist? Death cab for Cutie, Alt-J, Mayday Parade and Kelsey Wild. 28. Celebrity crush/crushes? Ben McKenzie, Kit Harrington, Chris Evans and I lady crush on pretty much all of the Emmas. 29. When was the last time you read for fun? Last summer, working on that now. 30. Favorite flower? I love Gerbera Daisies, Sunflowers and Dahlias. 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? Time off and some far away destination to travel to or someone to kiss on the regular. 32. Any guilty pleasures? Plenty. 33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? Two words, Lazy Heart. 34. What do you search for in a friend? Real, honest, down to earth, supportive, silly and slightly crazy. Must not envy, manipulate or play stupid. 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month? Oh lots, I'm sure. To a significant other? Zilch. 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? Walgreens. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people? Not all bad things are bad. There's a lesson to learn in all that we experience. 38. In your opinion, what hurts more: Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? Eye stabs, like no fucking question. 39. How many green shirts do you own? Roughly 4. Not my color. 40. Do you like anime? Nope. 41. What do you invest the most time in? Work. TV. Sleep. Family and Friends. In that order. 42. What was the name of the last book you read? "The Testing" 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone? Loving someone implies a vulnerability, wether voluntary and mutual or not. 44. Where are you most productive? Where ever I feel most inspired. 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. Drinking. Eating. Talking. 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. Painting. Planning. Listening. 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? I don't. Humanity is far too fragile and fallible. 48. Do you have any allergies? I think not, but I will knock on wood anyway. 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? Tonight's playoff game. 50. What was the last promise you made? I'm sure I promised a table I'd make something happen for them. 51. What was your last dream about? TEETH FALLING OUT. 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? My Mom, Riley, Brooke, Kristin and Gabby. 53. How many countries have you visited? One. 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) Music without a doubt. 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? I got a hair compliment today. 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? By my hair. 57. Do you consider yourself mature? I do, but perhaps that's naive and immature of me. 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? Meh, a week possibly. 59. What is your favorite quote? "Our limited understanding of the truth has no bearing on whether or not the truth exists." 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? I won't. 61. What is your greatest accomplishment? I've yet to feel as though I've had one of those. 62. Do you believe in the death penalty? I do not. 63. What are your goals for life? Live a life that follows God. Have a family, see the world, spread love and joy and know it deeply myself. 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? Sleeping. 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. Somewhere sunny and green. 66. What were you like in 2013? I was 20, broke, and having a boatload of fun being both. 67. Do you have a job? Always. 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. She's still my best friend, and will always be. 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? It's hostility towards its own ignorance. The numb nature of education and the aggressive stifling of creativity and critical thinking. 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? Plenty. I'm a bit messed up. 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? It's all about that buzzfeed life. 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? Play a series of mini games and answer trivia questions on live Tv. 73. Does money equal happiness? In the right hands. 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? Oh plenty, but it's always fleeting and reserved simply for that moment only. 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? Lots more. I feel a constant state of grief for time and youth and change. 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? Your mom. 77. When was the last time you looked at the news? Facebook counts, right? 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? You are only temporary, but you are breathtaking. 79. What is your favorite animal? I love sea turtles, whales, humming birds and elephants. 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? Like lie still and be buried dead or disappear for 3 years dead? The first I could not, and the second would be so hard to do without friends or family let alone to them. 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? Self discipline, accountability, consistency and honesty. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? 3am average bed time, 8-9 hours average length. 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? Fuck no. 84. What is your favorite clothing store? Rue 21, Target and Gordmans. 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? Gloves. I got a weird shaped head. 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? Wings, duh. 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? All life has value, doesn't it? 88. What do you fear the most? Failure. Never taking any risks because of my fear of failure. 89. How many digits of pi can you recite? 3.14. 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? 21-22 was a damn good year. 91. Describe yourself in one word. Real. 92. Describe your last victory. Scheduled close all weekend, didn't close once. 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? I'm sure it was something I've found in the fridge. My family is bat shit insane. 94. What is something you will never forget? Apartment 508. 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? Vivid detail. 96. Have you ever broken a bone before? Knock on wood, no. 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? Hate, by far. 98. Coffee or tea? Coffee. 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? Positivity, church, planning, self care. 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? Just the time to take this.

0 notes