#**look of utter disbelief on Kim's face

[xiaowhore]

equivalent exchange.

DRAFT. this fic is incomplete, as i've stated in this post. this has been sitting in the dungeon for a while, and i have no plans to finish them, but i posted these drafts to not let them go to waste. it is up to you if you still want to read them regardless of their incompletion :) i will be writing my original ideas for the fic at the end so you guys will have an idea of what the fic was supposed to be like.

premise. when ayato stumbles upon a drafted resignation letter on your desk, he doubles his efforts to show you the perquisites of staying by his side.

he doesn't want to lose a competent subordinate. that's all there is to it.

note. what's wrong with secretary kim au but it's definitely not the same because i stopped watching at episode 5 and have no idea what happened. anyways i think we were all expecting a ceo!ayato x secretary!reader fic at some point so here it is. (couldn't keep this gender neutral for plot reasons, so feminine pronouns were used.)

Kamisato Ayato considers himself a good boss.

Or as far as things go, he's a decent one. He treats his employees well, takes them to expensive restaurants for company dinners, and discourages overtime so they can head off early for the night. He doesn't care much for formalities, and he gets along with his colleagues fairly well. He's never heard anyone talk behind his back or complain about his attitude at work, and there aren't any rumors spreading about him (if he turns a blind eye to the conspiratorial gossip guessing his relationship status).

But he does have minor faults. Like showing a more mischievous side when work hours are over. Getting Thoma dead drunk during dinners because his half-conscious inebriated talking is a form of amusement, or riling up Itto in drinking games just because it's funny. Then he leaves Sara to clean up the mess for him, since Yae seems to enjoy the comedy sketch as thoroughly as he does and probably won't lift a finger to help even if he asked her to.

As his assistant, you're prone to falling victim to his shenanigans, silly stunts that coax out aggravated eye rolls and sighs of exasperation. Years of experience eventually shaped you up to be entirely immune to April Fools' pranks.

He's in the middle of planning another one when he spots a letter of resignation on your desk.

At first, he thinks it's your rebellious phase arriving a decade late. He always found it odd how you never retaliated against his tricks, and this may just be the long-awaited April Fools' prank of vengeance. If it is, it's particularly mean of you—Ayato does have feelings, you know? Even he would feel hurt if you told him you wanted to leave! You shouldn't take this kind of thing lightly!

Then he remembers you aren't the type to make jokes, April Fools' or otherwise, and it's that moment when he feels (proper) fear.

“[Name] wants to resign?!”

Ayato makes a zipping motion and Thoma's shrieks immediately die down, but the disbelief on his face has yet to wane. His brows scrunch together, brain hard at work in processing this piece of information, though it seems to short-circuit in utter confusion from the sudden blow.

Scandalized, Thoma lowers his head and levels his voice to a hushed whisper, “Are you sure you saw it correctly?”

“I have able eyes. Unfortunately, my optometrist confirmed my perfect vision and assured I saw it just fine.” Woe is he.

“Get them checked again.”

“No matter how much I check, it won't change the results, Thoma.”

“We don't know that for sure, sir!”

“Trust me,” Ayato deadpans, looking off into the distance, “I checked with him thrice.”

Defeated, Thoma leans back to his chair, crossing his arms while deep in thought. “You saw the letter, but she didn't turn it in, did she?”

“She didn't. No e-mail, either.” Ayato taps the table in a mindless rhythm, expression stern but the shape of his lips almost resembling a pout. “Do you have any idea why she'd want to resign?”

Thoma rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Is that a genuine question, sir?”

Ayato's head snaps back to look at his companion. “Why wouldn't it be?”

“...Everyone in the office knows you... tease her for your own amusement.”

“It's my way of showing affection.” The corners of his lips curl up, stretching to a twisted smile as he rests his cheek on his palm. “Isn't she just so adorable when she gets angry?”

“You really do have a rotten personality.”

Ayato waves his hand in a noncommittal response. “We're straying off topic. What should we do next?”

Thoma hums, closed fist beneath his chin. “Since she hasn't turned in the letter yet, that means she must be hesitating. For what reason, we don't know, but it's keeping her here. So before she makes up her mind, we should dissuade her from quitting no matter what.”

Ayato laces his fingers together, brow in an inquisitive arch. “And we do that by?”

Green eyes sparkle with tenacity, clashing with blue irises twinkling in intrigue. “We bribe her, sir. It's time to show off your good points.”

--

“If a woman quits her job, what do you think her reasons could be?”

Ayaka blinks owlishly at her brother, taken aback by the abrupt question. It's a sudden thing to ask, especially odd given how their conversation hasn't led to that topic at all. “Did someone resign? I haven't heard anything of the sort, though.”

Ayato shakes his head, stirring the boba tea in his hands. “It's a hypothetical.”

Which means it's real.

Ah, whatever. At least he didn't go for the “my friend...” excuse.

Ayaka warily cuts a portion of her cake, scrutinizing each microexpression flashing on Ayato's face. It's one of their weekly lunch meetings, squeezed between hectic schedules, and they more or less have a silent agreement to avoid discussions involving work if they could help it. But this time, he brought it up himself.

How peculiar.

“Perhaps she wants to change workplaces? If she's exemplary, she might have been offered a better position or higher pay.”

Ayato nearly scoffs at the suggestion. The company, old-fashioned as it is, can only be inherited by a direct line of descendants. Outsiders can only go so far, and being the secretary for the chief executive officer isn't bad at all. Last time he checked, he's been paying you generously as well—how many figures was it? Six?

“Oh!” Ayaka exclaims, holding up a finger as she seems to have figured out something. “Or maybe she wants to settle down and get married? If her work is keeping her occupied, she'll most likely take time off to find a husband.”

Ayato proceeds to choke on a tapioca pearl.

“Or she got married and wants to be a housewife-”

“That's quite enough, Ayaka.”

Ayato would rather believe the Earth is flat.

--

If Ayato were any less desperate, perhaps he would have rationalized that putting together “give her what she wants to make her stay” and “she wants to get married” is a bad, bad idea.

Unfortunately for him, he is grasping at straws, so it leaves him no choice. Yes. Definitely. There is no other option than this, obviously.

(He does not delve deeper into the reason why he doesn't want you to leave, nor does he dwell any longer on why he was so quick to think he was fine with getting married if it was to you.)

“Don’t you want to get married soon, Ms. [Surname]?”

To clarify, Ayato does not spy on other people's conversations for a hobby, but he's always had impeccable timing. It comes with the job.

He stands by the door, reaching for the doorknob to the break room, but the mention of your name forces him to a halt.

“Why are you asking me that...?” You awkwardly dodge the question, sipping on your coffee. “I suppose I am at that age, though.”

“So you do want to!” The squeal rings with a note of glee, a stark contrast to Ayato's gradually dimming mood. “Wouldn't it be nice to marry a good man? I'm sure even you have thought of it at some point! Are you seeing anyone, then? Anyone you can imagine yourself marrying?”

“No, not yet.”

Before Ayato can even heave a relieved sigh, you follow with, “But my mother is making me go on dates to see people. Said if I didn't bring home a man soon, she'd come all this way to drag me back by my ear and introduce me to her friend's son.”

“Ah, I get that...” Your friend replies emphatically, nodding. “But those kind of meetings hardly go well. And you can't exactly tell your mother's friend you don't find her son attractive, right?”

“Why not just marry Mr. Kamisato, then?” Another one pipes up, to which Ayato gives a mental salute of appreciation. “You spend most of your time together. If you're not married to your job, then you're practically married to him.”

A cackle sends his heart dropping to his stomach.

“Not a chance.”

Can you at least expound why?!

“Huh? Why not? I mean, Mr. Kamisato is on another realm of existence and I can never hope to be on the same level as him, but you look good together!”

Your face pinches to a tight frown. “Look good together? In what way?”

“When you stand side by side, it just looks... right. And like I've mentioned earlier, you spend all your time with him. Why not seal the deal?”

“Mr. Kamisato is reliable, and if you marry him, you're set for life. He's handsome too, and we've all seen his muscles at our company sports day a few months ago!”

“I've never been so thankful for team-building events. Hallelujah.”

Ayato's face burns in embarrassment hearing the dreamy sighs. Even if they think there isn't anyone else listening on them (which is false), shouldn't they exert some restraint at work?

“Please don't lust over my boss,” you assert sternly, voice ice cold. “And we have a strictly professional relationship. So don't get any weird ideas from here on out, alright?”

“Fine. Tell me that again when I'm invited at your wedding, I dare you.”

“I said-”

They wave off your vehement protests at the statement. “Then if you're not into Mr. Kamisato, what do you plan to do?”

Ayato perks up, straining his ears in rapt attention.

“...I'm going on a date this weekend,” you sigh, rubbing circles on your temples. “I'll let you know how it goes.”

Oh no.

--

“-Dinner was nice. We didn't expect the rain shower, but he ran to the convenience store across the street to buy an umbrella because he didn't want me to get wet on the way to the car. He said it would be a waste if my hair got ruined since I-”

Slurp.

“...Styled it for the occasion. Then he drove me home. I found out we liked the same band from the music he played, and we agreed to-”

Sluuurp.

“-Go to their upcoming concert together. Then we somehow also like the same novel that's getting a movie adaption soon, so we also promised to see it-”

Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.

“Could you please refrain from making noise when eating, sir?”

Ayato decidedly does not comply and only slurps his boba tea harder, nearly choking on a tapioca pearl yet again.

As always, you learn to ignore him.

“Concert... and a movie. I'm not sure about the concert, but the film you're talking about is the one coming out in the next two months, right?” Thoma confirms, sweating when Ayato's expression turns visibly grim. “You plan to see him for that long...?”

“Even if dating doesn't work out, we can always become friends, can't we?” You shrug, taking a bite out of your sandwich. “He seems like a nice guy. We get along really well, considering we've only met once. I ended up agreeing to a second date-”

The passive-aggressive slurping persists for the following afternoon.

--

“I've been meaning to ask for a while,” Thoma treads carefully, noticing Ayato's rapid-fire typing—no, striking—on the keyboard, “Ms. [Surname] is good at her job, but you seem really... eager to make her stay, sir.”

Ayato's fingers halt in their movement, and he takes a second to flash his business smile. “Of course. She's a valuable asset, and I'd be foolish to let her go.”

“Yes, I'm well aware, but...” Thoma scratches his cheek, looking off to the side. “You didn't go to such lengths when your former assistants resigned from their post. Or, uh... you fired most of them.”

“Yes,” Ayato simply agrees, still smiling, “she's competent. You don't find anyone like her easily, so it's only natural I'd want her to stay.”

“What do you mean by 'anyone like her,' sir?”

Thoma is awfully talkative today. Ayato might need to feed him something spicy to shut him up.

“Ms. [Surname] is special.” The words smoothly leave his lips. “Does anyone else have the meetings and company events scheduled for the next month memorized? She's the only one I can count on for work matters.”

Thoma's shoulders slump. “Okay, let me get straight to the point. Do you-”

“Mr. Kamisato?”

Thoma nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of your voice, accompanied by the clack of your heels.

“What is it?” The cold smile on his face finally melts to something more genuine, softer around the edges and looking especially radiant. It's welcoming, like your arrival counts as a joyous occasion, and he is exponentially more attentive compared to the way he lent Thoma half his ear (the other preoccupied with a phone call, which he swiftly ends the moment you walk in).

“I came to deliver some files from Ms. Miko... did I interrupt something?” You gesture to Thoma standing idly by the side, dumbfounded from Ayato's inconceivable behavior.

“Not at all. Is there anything else?” Ayato accepts the documents, noticing your hesitance to leave.

“Ah, yes, I will be asking for time off tomorrow.”

That's... rare?

But it's not a hard request. Ayato's own schedule is blank for the most part, since the latest project wrapped up not too long ago, and the workload is lighter than usual. Missing one work day won't do any harm.

“It's fine, but could I ask why?”

You fidget, tentative as you reply, “I was invited... for a trip on a cruise. He insisted I come since his friend bailed on him and the tickets would go to waste.”

The warmth in his eyes freezes over.

“The tickets would go to waste...” Ayato repeats under his breath, mockingly cruel. The tone flies past your head but it hits Thoma full-force, making him sweat profusely.

Distasteful. An utter disgrace of a man. The magnitude of his ignorance is so awe-inspiring, I have to applaud. I must give credit where it is due, and the foolishness of this clown is truly impressive. “The tickets will go to waste,” he says? His money must worth more to him than his dignity. Inviting Ms. [Surname] to a date on a workday with no regard for her schedule is one thing, but making her out to be an afterthought as a substitute for his original travel partner is another. How shameful. This is no way to treat a lady. If Ayaka were to be with a man of his caliber, I would never allow it.

But what he says outloud is of course, “I see. I hope you have fun, then.”

--

Corporate events are, for the most part, adequately entertaining.

Preparing for it is not.

But the worst part isn't even brainstorming themes, or finding an appropriate venue, or planning the logistics, or writing the guest list.

It's choosing what to wear.

Actually, the cause for Ayato's headache isn't even what attire he'll go with. It's yours.

“That looks wonderful,” Yae praises, looking at the picture on your phone. It displays a silver necklace, a tear drop topaz encased in a diamond twist. It pairs well with the dress you bought with Ayaka last week, an elegant fit that accentuated your curves.

However.

“He chose that for you, didn't he?”

The stoic line of Ayato's mouth twitches and his eyes can't help but sweep over your screen, scrutinizing each grainy pixel.

Though he has plenty of insults prepared at his arsenal, he can't find anything to nitpick about. Damn it. It's a good choice.

“You'll look stunning,” Kokomi assures good-naturedly, smiling in delight. Ayato does not doubt that will be the case, but he's sure he would be in a foul mood the entire night if he were to see you adorning it.

He has already retrieved his coffee from the break room so he excuses himself to his office, long strides that lead him out of earshot.

As a result, he doesn't hear the following conversation.

“Why this, though?” Kokomi asks, looking closely at the accessory. “It's a simple design. Doesn't look like something a man would pick from the rest.”

You shake your head. “I just told him I wanted something blue, and I couldn't choose myself because there were too many that caught my eye...”

“Blue?” She echoes, a simple curiosity. “Why blue?”

“...It's a pretty color.”

--

It is an actual coincidence that Ayato runs into you in the middle of shopping.

You're hunched over a display stand showcasing a variety of earrings, deep in thought as you observe each one. You're doing that thing where you scrunch your nose in concentration, a habit Ayato doesn't think you even realize you have.

“Fancy meeting you here, Ms. [Surname].”

(He wonders what face you would've made if he said “You go here often?” instead. Probably some degree of disgust.)

You blink, correcting your posture and nodding in greeting. You don't look particularly thrilled to see him, but at least you're unbothered by the prospect of seeing your boss on a free day. “You're here to shop too, Mr. Kamisato?”

Ayato smiles amicably. “I am. Were you planning to buy earrings?”

“Yes, but...” Your gaze returns to the display, your own smile faltering. “It is a bit difficult to choose.”

He walks over, scanning the variety up and down. “Is it really? You only need to choose a pair that matches your necklace, right?” He focuses on shades of silver, bypassing the vibrant colors of reds and pinks. Not even fifteen seconds later, he picks out a card and holds it out next to your ear. “This one looks nice on you.”

“Huh? Really?” Perhaps surprised by his swiftness, it takes you a moment to react accordingly. You take the card from his hands and flip it over, eyes widening by a fraction. “Oh. It is rather pretty.” Then they widen further as big as saucers. “I can't say the same for the price tag, though.”

“Hm? What price tag?”

He plucks the earrings from your hands, walks to the counter, and pays for it without a second thought.

“M-Mr. Kamisato?”

“Pull up your hair.”

“Eh? Oh, okay.”

You're so caught off guard that you unwittingly do as he says, tucking your hair back obediently and still processing the last two minutes.

His fingers tug at your ear, warmth bleeding to your skin, and by the time you return to reality, he's already putting the earrings on you.

STORY FLOW.

ok i lied i actually can't remember shit about this fic so i will be making up stuff as i go lol

what i do remember clearly is that the resignation notice that ayato found on your desk is years old. you meant to submit it way, way back when ayato was tougher on you, and you weren't as well-adjusted as you are now to the job yet. as stated in the fic, being ayato's secretary is no easy task—he'd fired countless people he thought was incompetent.

you fought a number of times, and you didn't know if you could keep up working for a man you thought was simply incompatible with you (in terms of being colleagues/partners).

but over time, you learned to work together. ayato acknowledged your efforts and hard work, and you knew ayato had been trying to give you less jobs to reduce your workload, but you were going to prove that hou could handle it.

what truly made you appreciate ayato more was when you got stranded at the train station. you dealt with a far company they collaborated with, but work ended later than expected, and you'd missed the last train home. taxis were an option, but youd have to go through several of them to get back. right when you were thinking of checking into a hotel, ayato informed you he was already on his way and drove a couple of hours to get where you were to bring you home.

time continued to pass, and that brings us back to the present. you were on the process of cleaning up your desk and left the old resignation notice out in the open by accident, which led to ayato seeing it.

it is very apparent to the others that you two like each other, but the involved parties themselves are unaware of it. you currently aren't eager to get married, but you were trying to meet people so your parents would stop bugging you about still being single.

anyway, ayato bought those earrings for you. timeskip to the corporate event. you unconsciously picked a blue motif for your outfit because it reminds you of ayato.

when you get there, surprise, surprise. the man you were meeting, kazuha is a bigwig, heir to some other corporation. he actually owned that cruise he invited you to and pretended he didn't because you might be intimidated. ayato didn't think the kazuha he knew and the kazuha you knew were the same person, and now the advantage he had over him was ruled out (i.e being rich). (actually while i was rereading i was surprised i didn't mention that it was kazuha...? istg i was imagining him the whole time i wrote about him)

anyhow, as it became later in the night, ayato wanted to get you home before kazuha could offer to drive you back or worse, spend the night with him. ayato acted drunk so you'd tend to him and accompany him home while his driver was in charge of taking you to his apartment. as you were nagging at him, he compared your interactions with him to yours and kazuha's. you were certainly nicer to that man. smiled at him a lot more, too. did you really like him that much?

if you did, could he let you go?

he was ashamed that he couldn't answer it right away. as if he had any right to whatever you do.

you carried him to bed when you got to his apartment, but when you were preparing to leave, he hugged you from behind. do you like that man? why do you want to leave me? why can't it be me? ayato was just pretending to be drunk, but he felt dizzy now, soaked in your scent. he said things that he wasn't supposed to. things that he couldn't take back. things that would change your relationship forever.

slowly, you took away the hands wrapped around your waist. ayato figured that was a message of rejection.

but then you pushed him back down on the bed and you straddled his lap. his mind was silent for but a few seconds before he started screaming mentally.

i've always wanted you, but i knew it was impossible. you have a fiancee. i'm an ordinary worker. your family won't accept me. ayato's mind was in a daze because your face was so close to his, and all he could see was the red, glossy shade on your lips, but he managed to hear those few sentences.

it doesn't matter. nothing else matters. i can't marry if it's not you. if you accept me, i swear i'll make you happy.

from here on, it could be a happy, fluffy ending where turns out, you were tipsy so you were more honest with him and you fell asleep in the middle of kissing so he took it upon himself to change your dress into something more comfortable and end the night with a forehead kiss...

...or you could continue what you were doing and the first thing ayato takes off is the damned necklace so he could replace it with a smattering of hickeys. your choice ^^

[sungjinhos]

I THINK WE MARRIED IN VEGAS

✷ You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.

✷ genre: comedy (?), angst, smut (minors don't interact)

✷ word count: 28.244

✷ featuring: Yoon Ttoram, Choi Seungcheol, Lee Seokmin, Kim Mingyu as the unnamed satan-spit roommate one night stand, and Xu Minghao as the gothic impasto painter guy. 

✷ thea’s note: hey y’all this is my longest fic yet so I’m weirdly proud. I had fun writing this and trying to figure out how to build this Jeonghan and yes I did rewatched the birth of Ttoram while writing this. By the way - love you guys but the whole credit/debt/buying a house is just for plot I do not know how any of this works in America (and it is mainly set in America because I needed Vegas lol) <3 So bear with it. Also thanks to @wongyuuu for keeping me company in this nanowimo challenge, and thaks to @toruro Mika you are the best <3 thank you for reading this 

✷ Smut warnings under the read more ✷

✷ smut count: lost count of how many times Jeonghan thought he was going to cum on his pant, 1 dick sucked, teenagers level of horniness, non penetrative sex still sex, a lot of kissing, a 3 second of cumplay still a cumplay i guess. 

"Should we do it?" you hear Jeonghan ask, his face focused on something outside the car’s window. The lights of all the neon signs dance on his face and features—like a scene from a movie. He looks tired and overworked even though you are somewhat on vacation.

"Do what?" you ask, trying to understand what he meant. Maybe he was talking about a hotel spa and you missed the beginning of the sentence because you were too lost in your own thoughts? Yeah, a message would be a lifesaver right now.

"That," he says, pointing at one of the hundreds of little chapels in Las Vegas. This one has a deal sign in big and bold letters—an Elvis Presley priest, a bouquet, a professional photographer, and a bottle of champagne for half the price. Well, you never thought about off-season in Vegas, but maybe business was a little rough at this time of the year, but to be quite honest that did seem like a great deal—the shopaholic in you would fall for it if it didn’t involve marriage.

"Are you drunk already?" you ask. Even though you have known the man for years, you still can’t read Jeonghan properly.

Sometimes you think about how he is a book that is written in a different language, and you couldn’t have access to him without a dictionary on the side. Jeonghan does look like a classic—he is well put together, he is fancy, and he would be one of those books that have an embellished spine—the prettiest book on your bookshelf. But at the same time, he is one of those books that need commentaries on every page because somehow the author didn't care about giving enough context or didn't think his work would survive so many years. And one that the storylines end up being totally fucked up, so basically a Russian classical.

"No, I'm painfully sober," Jeonghan says while leaning his head on the window of the car. It almost makes you laugh when you hear the loud sound of him bumping his head, even the Uber driver who didn’t utter a word turns his head back. "It's just," he starts again, "I heard Seungcheol talking about it, and it seems nice to be married."

"What are you talking about?” you say in disbelief,  “Seungcheol is not married yet, he is having a bachelor party in Vegas. He is drinking his weight in alcohol and spending the college tuition of his firstborn in the casino. You and him know about the same thing about marriage, which equals barely anything."

“Yeah but he did talk about all the perks—Oh thank you,” he notices that the Uber finally arrived at the hotel feat casino and all the Vegas shenanigans. Jeonghan holds the car door for you, like a true gentleman—you almost scoff. “What I was trying to say is, Seungcheol did talk to me about being married, it doesn’t feel like a bad deal at all.” Again, he holds the door for you.

“So we should just get married in Vegas because Seungcheol said it is a great deal?” you ask Jeonghan like he said the stupidest thing ever, which is partially true. It was one of the stupidest things he’d ever said to you, and you’ve known the man for years—you’ve witnessed a fair  amount of his stupidity, all laced with his all-knowing smile. Every time you tried to understand what he was talking about it always left you feeling like this man was insane.

“I mean? What would you lose?” Jeonghan asked, crossing his arms after pushing the elevator buttons—one for your room, the other one so the door closes faster (he is one of those people).

“A lot?” you say almost laughing. What the fuck? It resonates in your mind, almost like the words are bumping the walls of your cranium, like the old Windows 98 screensaver logo.

“Yeah? Like what?” Jeonghan asks and the ping of the elevator makes sure both of you know that it arrived before opening the door.

“Freedom,” you say, trying to stay normal and not succumb to Jeonghan—you both hear someone saying,“Hold!” across the hall. Jeonghan just smiles and clicks the button to close the door. Maniac really, without basic education. To be fair though, it was a frat dude with another frat dude who could wait for the next elevator without dying, but still.

“Come on, you are a book editor. You love everything that has nothing to do with freedom, you love rules and everything that shackles you.” You scoff hearing Jeonghan’s words.

You want to argue, you want to kick and scream and pick a fight because is he basically calling you boring right? He is totally calling you the most boring person he’s ever met, and you are in Vegas - and still, somehow, you are the boring girl. But he is right about it—you do not leave your comfort zone, you do not do crazy very well, and you don’t even drink that much because losing control of situations makes you slightly insane. And Jeonghan is right because he is one of your closest friends, and you talked about it with him, he even knows how this is a recurrent topic in your therapy. Asshole.

“Well, still don’t give me the urge to marry you, your sales points are awful—how do you hold your job?” You ask side eyeing your friend, well, if you wanted to marry someone calling them boring is not the right way to do it.

“I do a better job when I need to sell to investors, I’m not giving my all right now since you are not paying me,” Jeonghan says, leaving the elevator and looking back at you. Well, not giving your all when you are asking someone for marriage - number two mistake.

“I’d hope so, otherwise your name would be number one in the next layoff,” you say rolling your eyes.

“Come on,” Jeonghan scoffs. “You didn’t hear Seungcheol talking about the benefits," he says, opening the door to your shared hotel door. The deal was to sleep in a weird hotel that may have bedbugs or share a room and a bed with Jeonghan in a more upscale hotel whose bathroom didn’t look like a crime scene. Not a difficult decision, to be quite honest.

“Is Seungcheol now a pro-marriage coach?” you ask, taking off your shoes and leaving your bag on the nearest chair.

“Probably, I mean, the side money would be crazy,” he says, taking off his watch and leaning against the table, again crossing his arms. “What I meant is did you ever think about the tax deduction, health insurance benefits, leave benefits? Also, Seungcheol did remind me that the bank raises the chance of getting approved credits if the spouse has a great credit history.” 

“Yet he is the one marrying because he loves his girlfriend,” you remind Jeonghan, because apparently he is forgetting one the key ingredients of marriage in contemporary societies - love, affection, and a dose of “I love you but leaving with you every time you forget the toothpaste open is making me thinking about how life in hell would look like.”

“Right,” Jeonghan scoffs, making you even more curious.

“What would you need credits for?” you ask. Jeonghan is an unmarried and childless man, who works on investments, travels twice a year, and has a car. You on the other hand work in a crumbling industry - books, who reads books? - don’t travel a lot and your car is like twelve years old.

“Marry me and I tell you,” Jeonghan answered without letting the ball drop, quick on his feet like always, you could never catch this man.

“Tell me and I will think about it,” You try to pry.

“A house.” He says earnestly.

Again - you know Jeonghan, and you know your friend is a lunatic, but you also know when he is being completely honest with you. The man did want that house, which was completely weird. Jeonghan was a city guy, he was living in a rented apartment sure, but it was a great apartment, it even had a view. He worked downtown, why would he need a house?

“A house?” You try again, trying to get more details of what the heck is making your friend go crazy out of a sudden.

“Yeah, a house.” He says shrugging like it is the most common thing ever, maybe it is a well-known scheme of marrying for taxes and credits that you don’t know, maybe you are late. Maybe you are outdated putting together marriage and love in the same sentence, maybe, the world has changed. “Will you marry me?” Jeonghan asks you in his dullest voice ever like he is tired and completely bored.

“No.” You deadpan.

“Come on, at least pretend that you are thinking about it,” Jeonghan says, lying on the bed horizontally, his face is now closer to you and his legs are too big so they hang out of the bed, like a kid almost. “It has four bedrooms so you can move and say fuck you to Laurel the accountability girl.”

Well, that makes you think about it. He should have started with that. Maybe if he just proposed a new roommate scheme you would’ve said yes in the uber.

“I don't hate her that much,” you lied through your teeth, you hated that girl. You blamed the real state crisis because the rent was crazy, sharing the apartment was a good deal on paper, and half of the rent money went to your savings account so you could live in peace - Jeonghan actually advised you on how to save and where to invest if you wanted to retire quickly, but you never really thought about buying shares and selling shares and the whole ordeal.

“Fuck you,” He laughs, “every week I have to hear you complain how she lets food go bad and how it leaves your fridge stinky enough to make you almost puke, and that only happens when she doesn't food go bad on the kitchen counter or wait, do you remember when she forgets to lock the door two times last week?”

“Well, I am sorry if I have listened to true crimes podcast enough to be actually aware of the horrors of being a woman and how serial killers are out there just waiting for you to sleep with the fucking door open,” you say like you are the most reasonable person ever.

“And you are right, what I am saying is that I would lock the door so no one can enter the house, I would be a better roommate.”  

“Sure we do not have to marry to be roommates we can look for suitable places in our price range,”

“Look at this,” Yoon Jeonghan says, fiddling with his phone, “It has four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, the kitchen is great, it has a backyard and a solarium.”

“Fuck-”  You say, sitting on the bed, your thigh close enough to his arm that you feel the warmth of his skin, “that’s, that's crazy.” 

“I know,” he says turning on the bed and closing his hand on his stomach like he is dead, just staring at the ceiling, “The price is not bad either, one of my clients is trying to sell so he can invest in a new startup so it is not actually in the market right now but will be in a few weeks so-”

“Did you try to get the loan?”  You ask, finger still going on his phone looking at different pics of this completely perfect house. All the rooms were big, and with natural light - crazy. The Solarium looked like a thing out of this world. And you could see yourself living there, if you had enough money you could live the dream, but that house was just out of your price range. God, with that garden you could have a dog. Damn.

“I don't want to pay interest to a bank,” Jeonghan almost whines, because he knows how this whole thing works and how he would have to pay the loan and half of the loan because banks are greedy bastards.

“Can I have two bedrooms?”

“What do you need two bedrooms for?” Jeonghan asks, finally looking at you and dropping his i-am-almost-dead act.

“My room, one office,” you explain. You know the office would be the one with two larger windows facing the garden. Oh what a joy - to build a life you would never live, it was indeed one of your favorite hobbies, maybe that’s why you love books so much.

“Ok, I guess. I can make something out of the basement.” Jeonghan replies nonchalantly making you laugh.

Maybe that’s why you two were friends, you had a great time speaking nonsense to one another. You both just kept feeding into whatever fantasy you built, like reality could not touch everything. You and Jeonghan had this weird pattern of just sitting, eating and talking for hours and hours about whatever that had nothing to do with the truth. What would you do if you won the lottery? What would you do when you retire? What would you do if you woke up on a desert island? What would you do if your boss was imprisoned for embezzlement? Ok not the last one, scratch that, this one actually happened.

“I can give you 5% of the price tag, and we can share the loan if it matches my current rent price range, but we need to actually draft something with a lawyer later so we can only sell the house to ourselves, I don’t trust you enough to buy this house without a lawyer on my side.”

“Dude-” Jeonghan jerks on the bed, he sits and turns his body to face you. “Wait, do you hate Laurel that much?”

“Yoon Jeonghan, do you want a marriage to up your credit score or what? I paid my student loans in record time, the banks love me.” 

“I don’t know if you are joking or not,” He tells you. 

"Can you call room service?" You ask heading to the bathroom, while you tie your hair - like you are preparing yourself for a dire work task - maybe talk to a translator about a deadline, they are worse than writers, "I think we will need more alcohol." 

"Wait," you hear Jeonghan's voice echo through the door, "are we actually gonna do it?" 

You are joking. 

And you know Jeonghan was too. With the years of knowing him, you knew that the majority of things that left Jeonghan's mouth had a shock value purpose. Induce distress first, we talk about truth later - or never. That made you 100% sure that you would never marry that man. You knew him enough - twelve years, since high school. He knew you as well - he knew all your teenage traumas, all of your romance fiasco, and he met all of your exes. 

You would never, never, marry that man.

Right?

Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

When you open your eyes and the white ceiling greets you, you can hear yourself groaning almost involuntarily. Your head aches. You know you will regret everything that happened the night before, even though you don't know what actually happened, and what you need to hold yourself accountable for. But you know the taste of a life-changing hangover that has a side dish of regret and a cup of shame to go. But it couldn’t possibly be so bad right?

Ok, maybe moving your body was not the very first thing to do. You try to open your eyes again. Well, at least you were in your own hotel room. Jeonghan is by your side, his arm across your stomach and somehow his face is near your armpit. You try to sniffle yourself, but so far doesn't like you are actually stinky. Your deodorant was doing a great job so far, maybe it actually has a 24-hour action or something like that.

You try to lift yourself up, sitting in the bed, head in hand because everything spins. Oh God help you. Besides the headache you feel sticky and sweaty, and all gross. You can't believe you didn't shower, and if you didn't shower you didn't take your makeup off, and if you didn't take your makeup off you totally threw your 43-day steak of doing your skincare routine. Fuck. Maybe you could just delete the app, or pretend that yesterday never happened. Deal with the blank day that screams how bad you fucked up was not an option though, it would never happen.

“What the fuck did we drink?” You hear Jeonghan's hoarse voice. You take the hands off your eyes, the clarity feels like punching your cornea and brain, and Jeonghan's state is not very different from yours, his shirt is open and ruffled, his arms are shielding his eyes from the light entering the room, his hair is messy and he looks like he needed four days of sleep.

“Fuel? Petrol? Satan spit in a cup?” You answer dropping yourself on the bed again, every joint of your body aches. It is ridiculous how you feel trapped in a 90 years old body, and like that is not enough you feel nauseated beyond words. And every time you can feel and hear Jeonghan breathing it feels like it is piercing your skull, would be rude to ask your friend to stop breathing and just stay completely still? He would understand, right?

“Do you think room service can get us some painkillers?” He groans lifting himself up this time, “Or maybe a gun?”

“Can you call them? I think I will puke if I sit for more than half a minute,” you say, your hand going into your mouth as if it would actually help if the worst-case scenario happened.

“I think I can, the problem is that you need to get me the phone,” Jeonghan tells you groaning between words. His hand points to the object and there is no way in hell you are moving to get that, that would mean you getting up and turning and being alive altogether.

“I can't I told you I gonna puke,” you try to explain how serious your condition - also known as hangover - is.

“It is by your side of the bed" He groans again and yet he sounds just like a petulant child, maybe it is a gift.

“I can't I will puke on the carpet it only makes things worse,” you try again, “or worse I can puke on the bed, you included in the radio of the vomit you know it splashes.”

“Ok, stand still,” Jeonghan says, “don't kick me, I'm doing it for both of us”

And you do as you are told because being still right now is the only thing you can do - even moving your eyeballs seems too much right. So Jeonghan just dropped his body on top of yours, he is also sweaty, and he reeks of alcohol. Damn, he actually smells like gasoline. He picks up the phone and presses a few buttons. His body is still above yours, pressing into you.

“Be quick you are pressing my blade," you say after the surprise of having him against you fazes out.

“What the fuck do you need to pee or vomit? Ah yes, hello,” He says changing his voice in the middle of the sentence from something that says intimacy is a disease to his customer service voice without pausing, “hm do you guys have room service that includes painkillers?” He waits, nodding his head as he hears something before he remembers his on the telephone. “Oh okay, thank you, can you send it? Oh yeah great, yes if you can do that, yes, pancakes, toasts with poached eggs and avocado, coffee hmm” he thinks about it, looks at you, thinks about a second or two, and then adds, “Can you send us four cups of coffee? Thank you.”

Jeonghan finishes the call with a groan leaving his mouth, he places the phone on its holder. But when you think he will get himself off of you he only plops down, his body weight getting heavier. His bones poking your body, what the fuck he was doing with your elbow on your ribcage?

“Jeonghan what the fuck-" You complain, trying to kick your legs in a vain attempt to make your friend move.

“I got us painkillers and food, let me recharge for a bit stop complaining,” Jeonghan says in a dead tone of voice, almost like he is dealing with a kid throwing some type of tantrum - the only thing is that, in this occasion, the child is you and somehow you want to kick his shin, because you are the one right in this situation, and you could totally just plop down in a mall disgusting floor if Yoon Jeonghan was your father too.

“You are heavy!” You try again but somehow Jeonghan is stronger than you think and his body is still over yours like nothing is happening, maybe you are just dehydrated and fucking muscle-less, maybe the yoga wasn’t doing much when you almost killed your liver.

“I am not,” Jeonghan says, now he is the one being the moody child in the supermarket, maybe he will go off without parental supervision. Oh wait, this was Yoon Jeonghan he actually did wander away when he was out about with his parent and ended up three blocks away just because he saw an ice cream truck. Jeonghan was the easiest kid to be kidnapped, you ask yourself how he ended up being safe and sound, and in one piece.

“Just because you are skinny it doesn’t mean you aren’t heavy.” You try again pushing on Jeonghan bony shoulder, even that is pointy. “bones are heavy too, get off of me!”

“You kind of stink," Jeonghan says, his head still lodged in the space between your neck and shoulder.

“Well you asshole you are not better yourself, and you are stinky too and sticky like you showered in bear or something.”

“Maybe I did, I don’t know I can't actually think,” He groans finally trying to lift himself up, “We should shower,” he says sitting on the bed and looking down at you.

“You go first,” both of you say at the same time

You end up going first. Mainly because you needed to pee and you think that once you are up you may as well just use the opportunity to shower otherwise you would just drop dead on the floor and never get up again - you will be stinky and gross forever. Also, you think that if hell breaks loose and Jeonghan actually pukes you at least already used the shower. Back in college, he puked on the sink because it was the closest thing to the door, or whatever poor excuse he came up with, and that scene still haunts you, because somehow the sink was clogged. Ew, you think, finishing peeing and wiping yourself up. You wash your hands and say thank you for your past self because your necessaire is splayed on the counter, you pick up your face wash and head to the shower. Ok, let's deal with it. You need to wash your hair too. You open the register, letting the water hit your foot in an attempt to get just the perfect temperature.

You close and open the registers a few times - to fix the temperature, but you not gonna lie, to make up your mind too. But when you let the water hit your face - in an almost drowning attempt, you know you made the right decision, shower first was the only option. You let the water wash away for a few minutes until you are ready to really start your shower. First step - wash your face. Well, you needed to buy a new face wash this one was in its last few stages of life, you close your eyes and start to rub against your skin, normal, until you few something slightly different on your hand - almost like scratching the skin, you open your eyes and you finally notice, a band on your finger.

You turn your hand and it finally hits you.

It is a ring.

With a big rock.

In your ring finger.

A big damn rock on your ring finger.

“Yoon Jeonghan” you scream in horror.

On the other side of that door, Jeonghan just hears you scream. He actually picks himself up in record time and room towards the bathroom, oh shit did you just fall and hit your head? Did you break the glass of the fancy hotel shower? Are you dying? So without thinking much Jeonghan opens the bathroom door and he just finds you - completely naked and seemly okay, just staring at your own hand.

“What happened?” He asks trying to catch his own breath, maybe he does need to start working out man, he didn’t feel this horrible when he was hitting the gym after shifts, but also he didn’t feel that great either the whole gym rat thing was not his ordeal.

“What did we do?” You ask still in complete horror, not even thinking about how this is the first time Yoon Jeonghan, your friend is seeing you completely naked. 10/10 would not recommend this experience. Not even to Laurel, her satan spit roommate.

“What? Are you going crazy? I thought you fell and opened your skull or something,”

You just look at Jeonghan, dead in his eyes, like the reality is worse than falling in the bathroom, opening your skull and calling the paramedics naked. You just turn your hand to him - like it is enough to make him understand what a dire situation it is. And you swear to god you can almost see the little flakes of light on the bathroom floor, the rock is big enough to shine across the room.

“Did you call me to show me your ring? Couldn’t you wait until you put your clothes on?” Jeonghan asks leaning into the doorway.

“Jeonghan did we-” you say but you feel your own throat closing around itself, it can’t be right?

“Hm?” he asks without a blink of an eye.

“Oh we did, we totally did," you sighed, more to yourself than to Jeonghan.

“No, you are not that crazy,” he claimed. What is that even was supposed to mean? He was crazy enough for it but you the two goody shoes wasn’t?

“Jeonghan check your bank receipt,” you demanded, trying to connect the dots in a way, trying to find a physical proof, maybe you just bought a way too expensive ring for yourself, or maybe it was just impulse buying.

Before you can move Jeonghan almost runs towards the room, you try your best to keep up with him but you are a little behind because for the first time, you actually are aware of how naked you are. You pick up the fluffy bathroom robe - yeah the fancy hotel had its perks.

“Oh fuck” you can hear Jeonghan before you can see him, his phone it’s on his lap, his head is on his head - he is a man defeated.

“Did we?” You try to probe, but your voice sounds weird in your own ears - almost small, and the reality hits you, you are kinda scared. The reality of maybe having fucked up hits you like a trunk, you always been a nice girl, you never fucked up - at least not that bad, what would you mean if you married on a drunk whim?

“I think,” Jeonghan says, his hand on his greasy hair, fuck he needed a shower. “I think we fucked up real bad.”

You sit beside Jeonghan, you both staring at the wall ahead of you in disbelief. You are still gross, but now your damp hair is actually dropping on the bed and you can’t bring yourself to care. The fact that Jeonghan is motionless by your side without uttering a word is what freaks you out more. Jeonghan is not someone who is fazed so easily - his mouth is agape and his eyebrows furred, the ‘i-am-utterly-stressed’ Jeonghan feature is what freaks you out really.

“Ok Hannie,” you breathe softly. “That’s what we are going to do, I am going to shower, then you are going to shower, we gonna eat breakfast, then we are going to return this ring, then we are going to call Joshua, he is a lawyer, right? He probably will know what to do.”

“Joshua is a real estate lawyer,” Jeonghan mutters without blinking.

“Jeonghan focus!” You say getting out of bed, “divorce is a thing we don’t need to stay married.”

You take one of the longest showers in human history. You needed a good shower, but, the majority of the time under the shower you think about how the hell you got so drunk to marry Jeonghan. Some flashes of memory blink on the forefront of your mind every time you blink; a vegas chapel, not an Elvis but an Elton John in front of you, Jeonghan picking one of the most expensive ring in a fancy story. How the fuck fancy jewelry runs for twenty four hours?

Every flash comes with a sharp pain, the fucking headache.

When you get out of the bathroom the breakfast is already in the room. You take a bit of egg and toast just so you can shove coffee down your throat without having to deal with the stomach pain. You search the ring case and don’t find anywhere, maybe it is safe on Jeonghan’s thing, maybe he kept it safe, or you hope so. When you sit on the bed you stare down the ring, it is a beautiful ring and you are pretty sure it is something Jeonghan chose, it is beautiful, but at the same time, it is just too much.

You need to return it, no doubt about it.

You try to take the ring one and somehow it doesn’t even budge. You scoff, what a tricky little thing. So you try again, and again the thing doesn’t move. You can feel the drop in your blood pressure, what the heck? You lost track of the time when Jeonghan opened the bathroom door and you looked at him in shock, you look down at your red and bloated finger.

“This shit is stuck in my finger?” You say trying to take off one final time before just breaking your finger.

“Well, I think this is a good time to tell you,” he starts his voice all weird and over the place, “I kinda fucked up.”

“Jeonghan we are apparently married I already know we fucked everything up.”

“No, I-” Jeonghan begins, his hands now going through his washed hair, still wet and dripping on the floor, “I found a shred receipt and an invoice.”

“What the fuck?” You almost yell in pure knee-jerk reaction.

“I think it is yours now?” Jeonghan shrugs, like it is not a big deal even though you know that this ring is expensive, it must be, it has a giant rock and even though you know close to nothing about jewelry it looks expensive.

“What happened to us?” You question.

“You ask me? You don't remember anything?" Jeonghan says sincerely, and you know it is true. Jeonghan was kind of a prankster, he kinda did push people to its limit, but part of it was just doing fun things but also harmless shit. Like entering the beach at night, or hiding someone’s phone and pretending they did leave in the hotel so they can enjoy the trip without being bombarded by their special someone - read Seungcheol yesterday at lunch.

“Can we call Joshua?”

“I think we can do that later,” Jeonghan checks his watch, “I think it would be wiser just to show up to Seungcheol’s lunch and pretend that mini golf is fun, it would bring suspicious otherwise.”

“Jeonghan we married we didn’t commit a crime,” you say looking at him in disbelief.

“Do you want to deal with Seungcheol’s monologue about us getting married? I don’t think I want to deal with that with a killer hangover after a wedding walk of shame in fucking Las Vegas,” he drops. And God, that really sounds like a nightmare.

“Yeah,” you say looking at the big rock on your thing, “you are right, but we should probably still call Joshua,”

“I told you he is a real state lawyer didn’t I?” He says almost rudely to you, and you want to say that if you two are married both of you said yes it is not like you are the only one responsible for it but you try not to push his buttons.

“And what is your option Jeonghan?”

“I’m thinking about just getting drunk again so I can forget everything that is happening right now.”

What a fucking great idea.

Seungcheol is one of Jeonghan’s closest friends from college. Seungcheol just became your friend because you and Jeonghan were weirdly bound at the hip. You both shared your high school years, and when you two enrolled at the same university you only had two options, pretend you two didn’t know each other, or become conjoined twins. Jeonghan was a business major, you were enrolled in every class that had literature, poetry, or the name of a dead guy on it. But still, you and Seungcheol became great friends even though he is a finance guy. And Seungcheol was the reason you two were on a Vegas trip, the last trip of his life as an unmarried man, he had to make a sketchy deal with his fiancé in order to it to happen but still, according to him, it was worthy.

“Nice shot!” You hear Seungcheol's voice loud, bringing you back to reality. He is clapping as Seokmin - one of his other friends from work hits the ball down the hole.

Seungcheol’s voice, loud and clear, brings you back to reality.

Oh the joys of playing mini golf before lunch, you could spend days and days talking about how much you loved the idea and how every hole seems like a fucking nightmare but you are a married woman. Needless to say this whole situation wasn’t in your 2023 bingo card. You don’t pay attention when it is Jeonghan or Seungcheol’s turn, you wait until you have to put the ball in the hole, it probably takes you double the time, and then it starts again, ad infinitum. At least they are kind enough to not pressure you to perform like Tiger Woods or something.

You think about Jeonghan though. Somehow, he hasn’t changed. Jeonghan was the same Jeonghan you met in high school, of course, he matured and the years turned into baggage, but Jeonghan was still your friend who was playful enough to get married on a whim. Jeonghan was everything you weren’t in a way, somewhat playful and carefree, and still a very practical human being. Jeonghan was mischievous, but yet, not even once, he pushed you until you couldn’t take it, and that makes you think that somehow, with an unknown reason, in your drunk stupor, you wanted to marry Jeonghan, because hell can break loose, the skies can fall, but Jeonghan would never make you do something you did not want to do.

While Jeonghan and Seungcheol are busy hitting those tiny balls Seokmin stops by your side. You like Seokmin, Seokmin is kind, and you constantly think about how he is surviving the finance world, he doesn’t seem cut to it, but somehow he manages to stay alive against the monsters of capitalism, or, worse, he stays alive feed the monsters of capitalism. Ew. Seokmin’s face though seems focused on another thing, he looks in shock and happy at the same time, he probably did the whole hole in less than three shots you think.

“Oh my god,” He almost screams making you jolt in place, in all truth that was pretty much a common occurrence when your day to day involved Seokmin.

“Hm?” You question puzzled, looking at him trying to find a clue of something behind his feature when Jeonghan and Seungcheol finally join the two of you on the sideline.

“What is that?” Seokmin asks and you still without a fucking clue of what he is talking about. “Damn,” he says with his big smile across his face, making the tip of his nose get even more pronounced, “are you guys planning a surprise and I just ruined it?” His face changes in a blink of an eye.

“What surprise?” Jeonghan questions taking a drink of his gatorade like he was in the middle of an excruciating sport and not fucking mini golf after an unsafe amount of alcohol.

“That thing!” Seokmin cheered, and then it downs on you - the big ass ring on your hand, propped on the golf putter, and before you can hide it or chop your hand off the three man in your sight is eying the big damn rock that you forgot about,

“The what?” Seungcheol blurted.

“This is an engagement ring right?” Seokmin asks and you think about an ostrich, putting its head on the ground, you think you can do the same in one of the circuit's holes.

“No, it isn’t, how the hell they are engaged when they aren’t dating?” Seungcheol scoffs, acting like Seokmin is saying something that doesn't make sense, something that happened numerous times before, it could be happening again. It was happening again, at least to Seungcheol.

“We saw that one when we were looking for your fiancée present though,” Seokmin says all pouty and confused, and you think you almost try to defend his point of view as you always do, just because he is cute.

“It isn’t an engagement right?” Seungcheol asks

“It would be weird to be an engagement ring,” Jeonghan acknowledged the absurdity that envelopes the situation that you two are in, you want to try to take off the ring and just throw it across the field of mini golf, but a) it looked extra expensive, b) the three guys didn't even blink looking at your hand.

“Did you buy for aesthetic proposal?” Seokmin asks, "A girl that works with the human resources team did buy one just because she thought it was pretty."

“Of course,” Seungcheol claps, “I mean fashion was never your strong suit,” He says and it almost feels like a jab, “I almost brought that one, Jeonghan was dead set on this, saying it was the ring, but it was a bit on the expensive side”

“How expensive are we talking about?” You try to pry your body from reacting physically to the fact that Jeonghan shredded a fucking invoice and receipt, and the fact that even Seungcheol - the guy who buys twelves tumblers just because it was cute and ends up giving them away finds that expensive sets a new parameter of money waste.

“You didn’t check the price?" Seokmin asks, when you remain silent he continues, “Wow be you must be nice, balling and shit."

“How expensive are we talking about Seungcheol?” You try again, "Seokmin?" If you can’t return this damn thing at least you can try to sell it later. If you can’t find someone who can buy this you can sell for those weird and sketchy stores but you need to know how much you are actually losing on the deal, well, not you, Jeonghan but still, if you know the man he will just accept his fate and never move a muscle to deal with this ring situation.

“You really didn't check the price hun?” Seungcheol questions raising his eyebrow, like he always did when he couldn’t quite believe in you and it always made you feel angry with him. It was a tale almost, even when you were telling the truth he always raised that eyebrow questioning you, making you explain yourself.

“I brought the ring,” Jeonghan says nonchalantly like he is saying that he brought the bread on his way home. Jeonghan had this thing, a completely loath to let other people know his truest feelings. Even if he was one step away from a panic attack he would not tell you.

“Why would you do that?” Seungcheol asks again his voice is two tones higher, and you feel like he is questioning the two of you, and in his own mind he is the bad cop in the situation - Seungcheol liked that type of shit, and you think that maybe he is so into that because Jeonghan is his polar opposite, never giving Seungcheol a reaction.

“I told you I thought it was a beautiful ring man,” Jeonghan deadpans and take his fingers to move his bangs out of his eyes - making him look like a fucking prick, looking down at everyone else, and you know that just tickles something in Seungcheol. “What I am trying to say,” Jeonghan tries again, “is that the ring It is not an engagement ring because I didn’t ask her to marry me yet,” Jeonghan says walking by your side and enveloping your shoulder in an awkward hug. “I just confessed my feelings, it might be over the top a bit but you guys know I just had my eye on the ring.”

“Dude! Finally!” Seokmin says hugging Jeonghan, and you almost feel yourself choking on air.

When Jeonghan is free he whispers against your ear, his breath on your skin making you shrink, “Just bear with it.”

“What?” Seungcheol asks “Out of nowhere, you confessed your feelings? With an engagement ring?”

“Not an engagement ring Seungcheol we won't crash your wedding, relax,” Jeonghan says again, rolling his eyes.

“How much it was?” You try again dead set on finding out how much that was, apparently a new hyper-fixation.

“Babe,” Jeonghan says looking at you with a mischievous smile across his face, “it is not polite to talk about the price tag”

“What the hell I am watching right now?” Seungcheol bristled, more in anger than in frustration.

“It was long overdue really,” Seokmin gushed, in a terrible contrast to Seungcheol’s features, his voice is loud and his big smile stretches across his face, “I thought it was so fucking weird you two sharing a hotel room with the excuse of saving money, like we know Jeonghan has money,” Seokmin points to the ring, making your skin crawl.

“We are returning this,” you tell Jeonghan, your voice low while elbowing his ribs.

“Baby I told you,” Jeonghan appealed, grabbing your shoulder “We can’t do that”

“Like I personally found you guys always so weird like, I think I even asked Seungcheol if you guys were married in the past because you guys are really,” he moves his hands in a weird move in a way to mean how close you always had been, “like truly crazy and then I asked Seungcheol and he was like it is never gonna happen and I was like-"

And Seokmin goes on for about a good five minutes about how he thought the two of you were a couple, and in a way, you were so used to it that it didn't even startle you. The problem was that Seokmin truly believed Jeonghan’s lies, one thing was to think that you two were in a relationship - everyone had this basic reaction since the two were in college, even one of Jeonghan’s ex-girlfriend thought of, one of your coworkers too, Jeonghan’s door to door neighbors too, almost every single soul you two met. That alone was something you began to understand, yeah you and Jeonghan had a weird level of intimacy.

 If you mash together your college years you can sum up in - of course, we do not date, of course, you can go ahead and kiss him in this horrible pub, oh yeas I am living in his dorm at ungodly hours just because we decided to binge watch a docuseries, oh if I am wearing Jeonghan's clothes? Haha He saved my ass because I doped the coffee on my clothes - ps. The coffee didn't exist, and his girlfriend did break things up a week later, Jeonghan swore it wasn't because of you. Once one guy broke up with you because when he smelled you he could recognize Jeonghan's smell on you, Jeonghan toke as his duty to just fuck up with that guy's mind for a whole month. He told you over and over again that the guy was wrong and basically called you a cheater, so you might as well plant enough evidence to give them the mental image - Jeonghan planted underwear on said guy's returning box, a note with his own handwriting with meet me in secret at the library, and even brought you a small dog plushie to put in the box and when you asked why he said 'he will think another guy gave you a present'.

Knowing Jeonghan and the fact that he loved shocking people this whole act today didn't really shock you, in the end, you were the only that understand Jeonghan, because you would never ever fall for this weird ass act. Your default reaction to anything Jeonghan related was a fair amount of mistrust.

“What are you two doing?” Seungcheol asks again, his voice is laced with suspicion and mistrust.

“Doing what?” Jeonghan asks, his hand going to your hair and placing it behind your ear.

“Whatever you guys are doing,” Seungcheol says pointing his fingers at the both of you, and you think it is dumb to even pretend something to Seungcheol, he knows you, he knows Jeonghan he knows nothing like that would even happen and you still don't know why Jeonghan is even trying to lie to him. 

“Jeonghan-” you whine, marrying in Vegas is indeed something that brings you shame and regret but lying to your friends is even worse, how would you deal with that later?

You think you would prefer listening to Seungcheol’s monologue about how both of you are completely crazy, unreasonable, and unreliable, all of that rings true now. And it was Seungcheol, he would end up knowing somehow, even if you didn’t tell him now, you both would end up telling him. This whole scheme would fall like a house of cards somehow. You couldn't knock on Seungcheol door and say haha we were kidding, but Jeonghan could, you would make him do it.

“Seungcheol that’s actually-”

“What are we supposed to believe that after what? A decade you just woke up brought a ring and confessed your feelings?” Seungcheol asks, raising his voice enough to make you look around the damn mini golf to see if anyone is insane enough to care about this damn scene, “When you are a commitment phobe who has been on my ass for the past several months?”

“Look man, can you just drop it?” Jeonghan asks again - in the same aloof way he uses when he wants to piss you off, almost like he is flirting with the idea of being a patronizing prick. 

“Of course not, what the hell,” Seungcheol says, his tone still on the angrier side  “You didn’t even remotely tell us about this."

“Yeah well some people can actually keep secret,” Jeonghan says bitterly.

“What was that supposed to mean?” Seungcheol questions and just by the tone of his voice you know that shit is going down, you have seen countless fights between the two to know that Seungcheol was on the edge.

“It means that I can actually keep my individuality as a human being because I don’t have a crazy girlfriend who has trust issues so I need to overshare everyone’s personal life because she thinks you can cheat on her every monday to friday man,” Jeonghan quipped. He was not the one who loved to fight, Jeonghan was actually someone who would just shrug and resolve the situation later when it came back to bite his ass, but damn when he wanted to fight he was ready for it.

“Damn,” Seokmin breathed.

“What the fuck Jeonghan,” You and Seungcheol say at the same time, both in disbelief.

“It is the truth, isn't it?” Jeonghan chastised, “Dude you are traveling with friends and somehow the whole lunch was about how your girlfriend was pissed that you actually brought a ring to placate how angry she was."

“Jeonghan stop talking.” you plead, holding his arms trying to get his attention, to make him stop before things end up in a point of no return. 

“Why?” Jeonghan asks you this time, eyes focused on you and not Seungcheol.

“Because you are being a fucking asshole now,” you say “This is Seungcheol bachelor’s party the man is getting married,” you try again like Seungcheol is not in the room.

“Oh you think I don’t know about that?" He says exasperated, "We are in Vegas and this motherfucker drink one beer and told us to go to our own hotel yesterday so we needed to get drunk and-”

“Jeonghan,” you say again almost like a kid tugging Jeonghan's by his shirt sleeve.

“We are in fucking Vegas and we didn’t visit one strip club and we are playing mini golf that something off about this whole trip,” Jeonghan says loudly chuckling at his own words.

“Are you seriously right now? You are going on a tirade against your friend because he doesn’t take you to strip clubs?” It is your time to act in disbelief - strip club? Seriously?

“Maybe if we were at a strip club yesterday,” Jeonghan says eying you.

“You know what?” Seungcheol speaks up. “Fuck you, you are uninvited by the way, you go on and on about how you don’t think I should marry, well, then you don’t need to show up.”

You and Jeonghan are left side by side on the mini golf field. Standing there while the world still moving around. You want to break out in laughter, you want to just laugh at how the two of your friends seem to wake up on the wrong foot, you want to knock Jeonghan's head off his shoulder, but you end up just walking to return to the damn golf club. 

The whole way to the hotel you and Jeonghan spend in complete silence, not one uttering a single word.

And apparently - now you are the one that wants to start a fight out of nowhere. You are the one that wants to scream about how Jeonghan was being an unreasonable asshole. You try to wrap your head around his reasons, about why he would act like that and nothing that comes up in your own brain seems right.

So when you both are back in the hotel room - now with new sheets thank god, and less alcohol smell you just ask in the most nonsubtle way you can, you hold your own waist and ask like he was a teenager throwing a rude tantrum, “What was that?”

“What?” Jeonghan asks taking his time to take off his jewelry, watch the first thing, and later necklace, if he had any bracelet would be the third step of his routine.

“The whole Seungcheol marriage thing?”

“Well, you don’t have to deal with him drunk every Friday night telling you how overwhelmed and how he feels trapped since they set the wedding date,” Jeonghan says shrugging. 

“You told me he was going on and on about how great marriage is,” you say sitting on the bed, trying to understand all the things you apparently didn't know about Jeonghan and Seungcheol.

“Yeah, he has his own list of cons in his note app," Jeonghan huffs, "every time he thinks about calling it off, I think I just memorized it because he reads more than once a day”

“Fuck,” you say in a breath. In your own mind, Seungcheol not even once doubted his choice to get married, not even once seemed unsure of his decision.

“I was the one that said Vegas," Jeonghan says sitting on your side, both of you looking at the widow that faces a fucking parking lot, "I thought that he would get drunk enough to actually mess everything up because he can’t do sober, and by mess everything up I mean breaking up with his crazy girlfriend."

“Yeah, still, you didn’t need to be a fucking asshole,” you say seriously this time trying to face him.

“Well, I panicked ok?" Jeonghan finally breaks, "I wasn’t going to tell that man who is having a daily mental breakdown that we married in fucking Vegas.”

“I mean, I don't know about you but I think your friendship with Seungcheol is more important than being lectured because you married in Vegas, Hannie,” you tell him softly, patting his thigh.

“Well,” Jeonghan says, letting his hand on top of yours, “I guess I can't be gracious always,” he says with a sad smile.

“I know you are stressed out," You say calmly, "but you lashed out at Seungcheol and it wasn't great,”

“The fuck you are defending him for?” Jeonghan says standing up and pretending he is searching for something in that damn room.

“Are you serious?”

“What?" Jeonghan chuckles, "he can go on and on about how I am a commitment-phobe type of guy who is fucked up enough to not have a fiancée like him and it is all good and fun and games? But when I call out his fucking weird relationship I am the bad guy?”

“Jeonghan,” You try but before you can even finish he cuts you.

“No, don't Jeonghan me, the fuck,” he retorted, “you have the excuse of not knowing because I don't tell you, you could think I am an asshole and a horrible boyfriend because every time someone breaks up with me even though I am a great catch,” he laughs bitterly, “You can do that, Seungcheol can't do that, he doesn't have an excuse, he knows why.”

“I never ever think about you like that,” you say sincerely because it is the truth, never once have you thought about Jeonghan being afraid of commitment or being a shit asshole. You always thought about how every girlfriend of his always looked and sounded more in love with him than the other way around, but that wasn't exactly a character flaw.

“I know,” he says already sounding exhausted.

“No I don't think you do,” you say sternly, “like it never crossed my mind really, I always thought about how they were crazy for letting you go, so what you don't want to marry someone? the fuck you can still have a great life and a great relationship with someone without a ring, and I know you are capable of it," and to your own ears you sound almost bitter, how they could be so dumb? To have a chance to have Jeonghan and let him go? “You have always been there for me, you never once wavered, I have no reason to ever think of you in that light and I don't think Seungcheol is being fair, he wasn't, but he is getting married in three weeks Han.”

“Yeah and I am telling him his girlfriend has been a freak since week two when she threw a fit because she was jealous of you,” Jeonghan says shocking you, "because according to her own crazy brain, you are way too close to men so who knows what you will do when she turns her back."

“Of me?” You say pointing at yourself, “Damn, she is crazy."

“That’s what I am trying to tell him, and he isn't fuck listening I guess.”

The whole afternoon you think about Jeonghan.

You think about him when he is lying in the bed on his cellphone, and you continuously think about him when you find him napping in the same bed. You think about everything you don't know about your friend, and you think about everything he doesn’t share with you, that he chooses not to. And you know every single human has secrets, and there are things Jeonghan doesn't know about you too. But knowing that it is one thing, dealing with the emotions that come with it is another thing altogether. Why he would not tell you? Why he would tell Seungcheol?

Those questions live in your brain, rattling and making sounds every time they crash against your skull. You think about your friendship as well. Jeonghan was always there for you. He was there when you had your first heartbreak in the third year of high school, he was there when Mark broke up with you in college, and he was there every step of the way. He was there when you were sick, he was there when your favorite auntie died, he was there when you were panicking before your first job interview, he was there. You just couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that someone would call a man like that a commitment phobe or break up with him.

And what he said was true in some way, Jeonghan never broke up with anyone, he was always the one who was dumped and weirdly okay with it. Every time you talked about someone who didn't know Jeonghan you always painted him as the perfect guy, and it was true - he had a great job and his bank account was crazy even though he worked to the capital devil, he was someone who ha they shit together too, he helped his parent, he helped his friend, his house was never messy.

Every time you broke up with someone you talked about how you wanted a guy just like Jeonghan, nice and fun, but also low maintenance in a way, someone you could just comfortable be being with, without having to try too hard and do too much. And every time you met someone new, you always trusted Jeonghan's opinion, if he vetoed someone he had his reasons, like the weird guy that two months later was on the news because he emptied someone's bank account because they let their bank account info saved on the computer or something like that.

If you thought about it - really being married to Jeonghan was not even close to the worst thing that happened to you. Founding a dead rat once in the subway was worse, or that time when you found out that your roommate left the door open for weeks before you just never went to sleep before her just so you could make sure to close the door, and 95% of the time she didn't close the fucking door, that was worse than being married to Jeonghan.

“The fuck?” Jeonghan groans.

“What?”

“Apparently I messaged my account manager our marriage certificate asking if he could officialize the house-buying proposal, and apparently the bank green flaged it? The owner needs to accept the proposal of course, and it may take a while but-" Jeonghan stops halfway, almost like zooming out, staring at the wall ahead of him.

“I guess you are soon to be a house owner?” You question bringing Jeonghan back to reality.

“No, no-"

“Seriously if it is something that is helping you I don't mind, we can come back to Vegas a few weeks after the deal to annul it I looked up online it is not that hard we just need the documentation and the wedding certificate so," and it was true - you did research how to deal with the whole thing, it seemed easy, maybe that's why they actually let people marry crazy drunk, so they can pay to annul it and the city double the revenue, apparently crazy amount of drinking and casinos were not paying the bill.

“About that,” Jeonghan says, his hands tugging the sides of his hair.

“About what?” You ask.

"The wedding certificate,” he says, finally looking at you, his eyes big and still puffy because of his nap, “I think, I mean- I am pretty sure it is shredded with the receipt and invoice."

“What the fuck Jeonghan?” You shout, oh man, you are going to kill this man. The image is already on your head - jumping on that very same bed like a crazy woman and kicking him before you just kill him with your bare hands.

“I know,” he says almost in a grunt, laying down like a starfish.

“Why did you shred everything up for god's sake," you say almost stopping on the floor.

“I don't know okay?" Jeonghan says, sitting on the bed now, his cellphone forgotten, "Why did we marry? Can you answer that?”

“OOh," you huff, "We did get married, but I am soon to be a window if I don't kill in the next five minutes I swear to god”

“Wait, what changed if it is helping me?” Jeonghan says, back to his mischievous self, with a small smile across his face almost finding endearing the way that you try to threaten his life.

“You are making everything argh-” You are losing your damn mind and if you end up crazy it is Jeonghan's fault, now that he is indeed your husband has another tingle to you like a thriller movie, but you are afraid you are in your own Cameron Diaz Ashton Kutcher low budget 00's movie. Maybe you should take the whole thriller movie, it seems, weirdly, less weird. "First we cannot return this ring now I have to find someone who wants to buy it without documentation so everyone will think this shit is totally fake, I mean I would too, don't get me wrong I wouldn't trust myself either with this jewelry," you go off - almost missing the point, rambling really, before you get back to the point, "now we need to find a second copy of this certificate I swear to god we could just go to the nearest courtroom and annul the wedding I googled it." 

"I already told you you can keep the ring," Jeonghan says - voice low in contrast to your high-pitched complaints.

"Why would I keep this ring Jeonghan?" You question, it sounds weird in your own ears.

The truth is, you did love the ring, it is a beautiful ring but the truth is - you can't keep it. It shouldn't be yours to keep. It should go to someone Jeonghan wants to actually marry, even though you can't bring yourself to take it off your finger, even though you didn't even try to take it off after this morning.

And a breath almost gets locked in your throat. Why? You think, and deep down you know you have your answer but you just shove everything down when you hear Jeonghan's voice, "Well If you sell it I won't take the money."

"I can just pour it into my savings accounts," you say petulantly.

"The fuck," Jeonghan bites back.

"What? You said you didn't want it so I can keep the money," You try your best to sound even close to someone somewhat rational in this matter.

"It is a present you can't sell a present," Jeonghan though, never has a problem looking like he is saying the most rational thing ever even when it doesn't make any sense.

"I totally can," you bite back trying to hold your ground just out of pure spite. He didn't accept that cursed ring which is not even supposed to be yours why the hell he is making such a big deal of you selling or throwing it in the sea?

"You can't," Jeonghan says again, and you think back to your friendship and a lot of times it was like that - a lot of things without proper explanations.

"Why not?" So you just hold your ground - again, he will not win this one, this time he will have to explain.

"Because it is a present I picked up for you. I actually thought about it, I mean before drinking buying apparently, but I thought it would suit you" Jeonghan says, "Just don't sell, if you don't want to use it okay fine but just, just don't sell it, don't hurt a man's pride like that,"

You want to try again - to say you will sell this damn ring if you go to the store and it can't be returned, and you want to say you will throw it on the nearest river because Las Vegas is indeed very far from the sea. You want to push him until he says okay I take the damn ring and I will hold onto it and pass it through generations. But when Jeonghan speaks and he sounds so tired and so hurt you just give up and lock yourself in the bathroom pretending to take a shower before leaving this hellhole of a place.

You look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how the hell everything happened in such a short amount of time. A marriage, a fight, a ring that makes you go crazy. Maybe you are closer to having a breakdown, maybe it is the time to face things that you are trying to keep hidden under the rug. You think that maybe it is time to just downpour everything.

But like always, you don't. You bottle everything up and pretend that everything is fine.

The last few days in Vegas have been less eventful, thanks God. Jeonghan and you go to weird restaurants and for a walk around the town, and you think about how you got married in the city of Sins.

At least it is fitting to think that pride and wrath have something to do with your own stay in this city.

You often think about Seungcheol, sending him and Seokmin a message or two, or a total of 15. Seokmin answers you, Seungcheol doesn't. And you need to hold yourself back when you type down a fuck you but don't send. You try to pry on Jeonghan's end too, but after the third time that he just doesn't answer you with words but just a cold stare you just let it go. Maybe that's why Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends for so long - pieces of the same cloth.

The flight back is not that tricky but at the same time when Jeonghan drops you out at your door, you are ready for a 30 minutes shower and drop dead for a whole week. When you open the door you are glad that your roommate at least remembered to close and lock the door. Character development you think, maybe she is getting better, maybe you don't need to actually move into Jeonghan's house as a safety precaution. But something doesn't seem quite right - there is a new sofa in the living room, which isn't exactly a problem, really, your sofa kinda sucked. But when you look again, you understand what is missing.

No, she didn't, she would not be that crazy. You refuse to believe that. You left all your luggage in the middle of the living room and ran to your bed, maybe she put the side table there, of course, maybe she just moved because the new sofa seems bigger. But there is nothing that resembles the side table in your room, so you try again - her room now, still nothing.

You send a message.

You try to call.

So you try the next best thing - call Jeonghan so he can calm you down. He doesn't pick up.  You sit on the floor, right beside your luggage, and you refuse to sit down on that sofa, it is pretty it seems comfortable but now is the object that you hate the most. You would prefer, I don't know, to take part in a scientific experiment that might fuck up your brain function than sit down on that thing.

The concept of time and space is a funny thing you think when you lose count of how many minutes or hours you have been staring at the door, it has been probably a long time. Until your roommate opens the door with a big guy by her side, great, all that you needed was an audience for your lash out.

"Oh," she says, big guy with his big hands on her hips and he knows he is not getting laid today, because he sees you and he gets so upright he seems like a fucking power pole, "I didn't know you would be back today."

"Laurel, darling, where is my side table?" You ask without beating around the bush.

"Oh right," she says letting her keys on the counter without fucking locking the door you have never been closer to a have a fucking stroke, you can feel your blood pressure rising, "the sofa was a bit bigger, you know I told you I was thinking about changing and this was on discount, but the table didn't really had a place in the room anymore so I put on marketplace a cute girl come up to pick in the same day, great right?"

You blink once, twice, and the words don't even come, you are so astonished that you are left speechless. Maybe you could get over the unsaid desire of getting murdered by a serial killer, and maybe you could get over the leftover food on the counter, and you could even get over the whole singing in the shower when you are fucking tone-deaf really.

But that. That was one thing you could never get over.

"Are you fucking insane? Are you fucking crazy?" You ask, the big guy taking a step back, "Or do you just have fun being the most self-centered bitch in this part of the country?"

"What the fuck?" She says, and oh god, you want to jump on her bones, you want to leave this woman bald.

"Did you ask Laurel?" You ask again, remaining sitting on the floor because if you pick yourself up you are probably no longer be a first-time offender. "Did you ever think about asking if you could sell, give or even create a fucking bonfire with the wood of my deceased auntie's side table? Did you fucking asked?"

"Oh I didn't know," she says simply. You feel the tears streaming down your face and you don't actually know if it is because of sadness or anger.

"So funny Laurel because I don't even fucking know how you function like a human being because your brain is so fucking empty of common sense really," you bristled, finally getting up and picking up your big backup, "Look I don't know how I don't care really, it is up to you, but you get my table back in perfect state, and you will pay this month rent fully because I am not living with you I would prefer Satan as my roommate really, and you may as well find another roommate because I will not move a muscle to put someone inside this apartment," You say moving past Laurel and the crazy big guy, "and by the way Laurel? I would fucking lock the door today you don't really think about how many insane people leave in this world."

You say finally get out of the apartment.

You don't really stop walking because you are afraid you will just fall on the ground, crying in the middle of the street in the fetal position, not really a pretty picture. You know Jeonghan's house is not really far, a twenty minute walk. You wish you had an epiphany when you see yourself at his door, a moment to say 'wow why am I here?'. But you know yourself enough to know why, you know Jeonghan enough to know why you are at his door.

You know Jeonghan will open the door for you, and you hope deep down that he will hunt Laurel-the-sattan-spit-roommate down.

When Jeonghan opens the door, he looks puzzled, his face shows that he is trying to understand what is happening. You are sure he was ready to say that he didn't order something and to check on his neighbor.

"What happened?" Jeonghan asks when he sees you on his door instead of a lost delivery guy.

"Laurel," you say, and before having the chance to say anything else, you already feel the pain, you don't want to cry but you end up doing that nonetheless. You even hiccup once or twice before you feel Jeonghan's arms against you, enveloping you, making you feel safe.

"What did she do?" Jeonghan tries again, one of his hands still around you, while the other cradles your head, his hand softly stroking your head.

"She sold my side table," you say, still hiccuping your way through the sentence and you feel so fucking dumb, crying in Jeonghan's arms, and you feel Jeonghan's body goes completely rigid before he holds your face in his hands and you almost flinch because you cannot face that man in this state, and second, his hands are cold.

"She sold your side table?" He asks and you just nod, it is the only thing you can do, "The side table?" He tries again just to receive the same reaction, his hands wrap around you, but this time he hugs you tighter, your head smashed against his chest and somehow you find a resemblance of comfort.

Jeonghan takes you to the kitchen, and when you feel his arms release you, you just sink to the ground, your back to the cabinets. Jeonghan hands you a cup of water, and hugs you again, his hands rubbing your back like you are some kind of a toddler, and that alone makes you sniff even more. That motion alone takes you back to your college days when you went back home to your auntie's funeral - Jeonghan drove the whole way, and the only sound inside the car was you crying. Back then you didn't know that Jeonghan lost an important exam so he could drive you back home, later when he was pilled with an ungodly amount of work and told you he needed to do an extra project so he didn't fluke his class you cried all over again - part of it because you felt guilty, part of it was because it was Jeonghan, and you could count on him for anything.

And here he was, years later taking care of you again. You never doubt he would, that alone - the certainty that Jeonghan is in your life should scare you, but it never did. Not now, and not even back in college when Seungcheol joked about every time a new girl showed up alongside Jeonghan. Somehow you knew that Jeonghan would be there if you needed him, if you ever shouted that man would run leaps. The thing was, Jeonghan never told you anything remotely close to make you believe that, he never promised you anything, but Jeonghan actions always reassured you that no matter what, he would be there if you needed him the most.

You think about it how - weirdly - you were never in that position, how you never once was that person to Jeonghan, the person that reassure Jeonghan or be someone he could lean on. There is a deep down desire that you don't quite acknowledge over the years - that you want to be someone important to Jeonghan. Someone as important as Jeonghan is to you.

When you feel you can finally breathe you get out of Jeonghan's hold to go to the bathroom, in a way searching a way to escape your own feelings and thoughts, pretending you just need to wash your face. When you return to the kitchen, Jeonghan is in the same place, sitting on the floor staring at his own hands. Now, calmer, you take the whole scene of the kitchen; the single glass of wine on the counter, the open bottle, Jeonghan's cellphone, and his notebook.

“Were you drinking?” You ask after a while, sitting on his sides and copying his positions - legs stretched and back flushed against the cabinets. The hiccups are still there but they’re less frequent now, and you can finally breathe on your own.

“Yeah I was,” Jeonghan says, stretching his legs and looking at his feet cladded with old socks.

Jeonghan thinks about the minutes before you arrived, how he was just scrolling on his phone and drinking alone because his mood was so dreadful that he didn't want to make anyone suffer in his company. The only person he would subject to a vent session was Seungcheol, so drinking alone was the only answer. The truth is plain and simple really - Jeonghan has been feeling miserable for quite some time now, mainly because even though it pays extremely well his job sucks. He works for and with shitty people, but it pays well, so that should be enough - why it isn't? But all of that seems so fucking small against the feeling of you losing the last physical thing of someone you loved, someone who was so important to you.

“Why were you drinking alone Jeonghan?” You ask, giving his thigh little taps but still looking ahead - you see yourself in the mirror, you are so swollen you can't face the man like that.

“I,” Jeonghan ponders, thinking about if it is the right time to just go on a tangent about how he works sucks, how his best friend isn't talking to him, and how he wants to go back to his high schooler self and just start everything over, even if he fucks everything over is way better than this gray area that he is stuck on. “We can talk about me another time,”

“Just," You breathe deeply, your head almost knocking against the counter door, "do it for me then,” you tell him softly, almost pleading, “tell me so I can take my mind off this shit.”

“I think,” Jeonghan says, “no, scratch that,” he laughs dryly, “I am sure that I am fucking miserable,” he looks at you waiting for your reaction, “and I’ve been miserable for a while, I just fucking hate everything,”

“Han-” you try to say, and you almost feel like you don't have tears anymore, but if you could physically cry you would.

“I am not depressed, don’t worry, I just,” he trails off, “I hate that fucking job and if I have to spend another year there I would probably kill a rich guy, I have a few investments, and I have savings, and I-”

“You should buy the house,” You blurt out, remembering Jeonghan's eyes looking at the pictures of the house.

“What?” Jeonghan says almost choking on nothing.

“You should buy the house, just give me one room and I will pay rent, we can share utilities and food, and then you can quit,” you declared like it was something people just do on a whim, like you are not even having a stroke just thinking about the process of ending your lease contract, but the sky can open you are not sharing another day in that apartment.

“Not a great deal when I have a fucking loan on my name,” Jeonghan bemused, almost laughing at your non-sense.

“Just don’t tell the bank,” you shrug.

“Well,” Jeonghan says, almost like he is trying to assess the situation, see how everything could plan out from different angles.

“Come on, tell me,” You say finally caving into your curiosity, poking Jeonghan with your elbow.

“Tell you what?” Jeonghan asks but you can feel the playful tone in his voice, almost a childlike wonder of being caught doing something he shouldn't do.

“What is the plan?” You whisper - you don't know why but this whole thing seems like a secret, like something Jeonghan doesn't want to see the light of day yet, something he has been keeping under wraps.

“What plan?”

“I know you Jeonghan," You say finally looking at him, a small smile still stretched across his face, "I have known you for quite a while, come on, don’t underestimate me,”

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan says playing the fool but the smile is still there, making you probe a little bit more.

“I know you, you would never think about quitting without a black plan besides having a few savings and weird investments, tell me,” You almost pleaded, turning your body to him, your hands on his thighs supporting your own weight on him. And you know you need to bring out the big guns - the begging eyes, almost laughing at yourself.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan laughs at you, his head tilting back and all, like you are the most amusing creature ever.

“Come on,” you urge, using your hands on his leg to almost shake him.

“It is not a plan, it is a desire,” he begins, “I’m thinking about sitting down and doing a few design classes, it can be online but,”

“No-” You say surprised, your smile big across your face because you know where this is going.

“Maybe,” he says still leaning on the counter, eyes closed and that infuriating smile still on.

“You can totally do it,” you tell him almost jumping on your place.

“It is not a plan yet,” he explains, in a vain attempt to make you tone down your excitement, but every time he looks at you he thinks he can give you that, soothe your pain with his dreams and hopes that won't really get out of paper. At least today he can do that for you.

“I can help you,” you say, finally changing positions and sitting almost by his feet, facing him, Jeonghan's hand on your ankle.

“How can you help me?” He asks you, squeezing your ankle and you pretend you are going to kick him, but he just holds your ankle and puts it on his lap.

“We can do it,” you say completely seriously because you truly believe he can do it, achieving his teenage dream job. “You know me, I am an army general, I have discipline, and I love a good worksheet, I am an editor,"

“What you being an editor has to do with it?” Jeonghan says while he tickles your feet, making you almost jerk.

"Stop that," you say using your other to nudge him, "I did a few children's books mind you,” you say, using your free hand to pinch Jeonghan's feet in the form of a threat, “I know how to promote things, I know how to deal with due dates and with manufacturers, you just need to sit down after lunch watch your boring ass class like a college student and hand your resignation letter,”

“It is not something that will actually work and be profitable,” Jeonghan huffs.

“Jeonghan, be honest with me,” you say, this time in a more serious tone.

“Okay,” He says, hands leaving your feet and closing together on his stomach.

“Would you ever take that leap with you couldn’t live till 90 years old with the money you have on the back?” You joke, breaking him in half, his laughter resonating in the kitchen.

“No?” He jokes back.

“We are doing it,” you say like his opinion in his own laugh and plans don't actually matter that much, but Jeonghan just smiles back at you - sometimes, he thinks about how you are the only one who can actually match his insanity, the only one that goes with his plan, or come up with even weird ones.

And Jeonghan knows he is fucked, because every time he thinks he can’t love you more you show him that love grows and expands beyond borders. Lately, Jeonghan favorite song is My Love Mine All Mine, and when he looks at you, in his kitchen, face still swollen and red from crying Mitski sings in his ear - Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine Nothing in the world is mine for free But my love, mine, all mine, all mine. It resonates with him, the fact that his love for you is his to carry. And this alone makes Jeonghan happy in a weird way, because he knows how much love you deserve, and he is happy that he is the one that loves you, and he loves you for free.

Even though Jeonghan knows you don’t love him like he does love you he thinks about how you are the only person that is always there for him. Everyone that he knows would make Jeonghan just let it go. Why the fuck he would build a business around children’s toys? Why would he resign and leave a great career that gives enough money and intel to just go around and draw a few rabbits and frogs on a page? Just because of joy? Jeonghan always knew that joy alone could not make you survive on this earth.

But yet you were doing just that. Telling him to drop everything and just try to be happy. Right now Jeonghan could drop on his knee and ask you to marry him if you weren’t legally married and if he wasn’t a fucking coward. Sometimes he hates himself for that, the way he holds onto something he knows it is not quite enough but it is the only thing he can have.

Jeonghan thinks about- everything really, but mostly how joyful you are in your own way. How you would buy sweet treats just for the sake of it, how you had every single first copy of the books you worked on even if they were beaten in the process and almost unreadable. He thinks about the first time you showed up on his door, a big book in hands and a smile across your face, buzzing full of pride because it was your first fucking book and your boss give you one in the very first batch - back then you were just the one that did the toughest job, reviewing everything.

Jeonghan knows he loves you, he knows for quite a while.

Jeonghan knew before the first girlfriend dumped him because he was jealous of you. When his third girlfriend asked him if he liked you he couldn’t even lie, when his fifth girlfriend broke up and for the fifth time, the reason was you he just stopped trying dates altogether.

Jeonghan doesn't remember much of the marriage itself, he remembers bits and pieces of an Elton John in a 70's costume and how the chapel was way hotter, making Jeonghan's armpits wet, not a great look for a groom. But he remembers everything before that - in a less hazed lens. He remembers telling you in the hotel bar how he loved you for quite a while now, and how you looked so shocked - telling him he should quit lying. He swore on his first dog's grave, weirdly that made you believe him. He told you how he hated Mark - your college boyfriend that literature guy who gave you poems that you still keep as presents, he remembers you saying how you would keep every post-it note if Jeonghan wrote them in the future. It was a promise, you said holding your pinkie finger out for him. He remembers buying you the ring, you outside the store because he knew you would think that the chosen ring was too much, too big, too expensive, any ring will do it you told him before letting him inside, but he couldn't do it, he could only choose the prettiest ring for the prettiest girl. 

Jeonghan remembers his vow, promising he would take care of you, that he would write love letters for the rest of his life on every special date because you hated presents. And Jeonghan remembers how you two kissed in the chapel, on the uber back to the hotel, in the hotel room - more than you should have, because now it is the only thing he can think about it and you don't fuck remember. Jeonghan thought about running, about changing cities and even country - investments were pretty much the same everywhere in the world really. But the reality was that even if he moved, his love was still his to keep, and he would do that heartedly. He was a coward, but he still had his pride, and if that was the price to pay, then, be It.

“Hey, come here,” He says, finally lifting himself off the ground.

“What?” You ask, looking at him still sitting on the floor.

“Come here,” He says again, giving his hands so you can get up.

“What? You are weird what is going on,” you say finally getting up on your feet.

“Come here,” Jeonghan says and before you approach him his arms are already by your side, enveloping you in a thigh hug. “Thank you,” he says softly, “thank you for everything really,”

“Are you drunk Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, your own voice muffled by the tight embrace.

“No,” Jeonghan laughs, and you can feel his whole body move, “I’m serious, thank you for being there for me even when you have shit on your own to deal with,” He says, his chin on top of your head, “and thank you for not thinking I am a commitment phobic asshole.”

“You are still on that? I told you I never saw you like that stop being dumb."

“I know, I am just-” Jeonghan doesn't finish his sentence, his arms still around you, his heart beating by your ear.

“Look you are drunk, at least there is nothing much we can fuck up being drunk together after getting married in Vegas," you say and Jeonghan feels a pang, almost like when he stubs his little finger on the corner of random furniture, but he doesn't say anything, "give me a sip of your wine you asshole,” you say getting free of his embrace and holding the bottle of wine

“Come on! Don’t drink it straight from the bottle, there is a glass right there!” Jeonghan protested.

“Come on Yoon Jeonghan, I know you, I know you since you didn’t have enough cups in your first kitchen, don't play the proper guy with me,” you say like basic manners don't exist, and sitting on his counter.

“I grow up I am an adult now,” Jeonghan says, but he doesn't really move a muscle to pick another glass of wine for you, he thinks it is his biggest flaw - the fact that you can walk over him countless times and Yoon Jeonghan will just let you do whatever you want even if he pretends that it is against his will.

“Oh, totally,” You look at him, and even though the phrase itself has a bite to it your voice is honest, “Not to go back to sappy times, but you really did Hannie, you are really growing so much, and I am so proud of you,”

"Shhhh-” Jeonghan murmurs trying to shut you up and you know it is mainly because he is so fucking shy that you almost laugh.

“By the way,” You say taking another sip from the bottle. “I’m so moving in with you and I can even deal with only one room if you don’t sell any of my stuff.”

“Shut up,” Jeonghan says kissing the top of your head, “you can have the whole house, just don’t set it on fire.”

Ultimately, that actually happens.

You actually move with Jeonghan into his dream house. The house is 98% bare, without the furniture of the last owner besides the utilities. But a) it is better than living with your satan-spit roommate, b) Jeonghan has been sleeping on his own couch for over two weeks now because even though you say it is okay you can't spend that time in your own apartment he refuses to let you near Laurel.

But somehow, Jeonghan and you make a home out of the new house. You take the bookshelves on the left, all the books you edited in your lifetime on a special shelf right in your point of view. Jeonghan takes the bookshelves on the right, a lot of the books you edited and gifted him are scattered across it because he doesn’t really care about arranging his shelves in a particular order.

Every time Jeonghan sees a nice piece of furniture he sends you a picture of it, and you two chat about if it fits the room, and the colors would clash. In a weird way your collection of cups and mugs triples the size, indeed you are engrossed with buying new ones, but the thing is - you always pick two of them now. Jeonghan’s favorite is a weird bunny mug that you never actually use because it ears always make drinking anything impractical.

You two also build a weirdly oiled routine. You two eat breakfast together, Jeonghan wakes up early and when he is just arriving for his morning run you are already scrabbling eggs. When Jeonghan is ready for work you are ready for your own run. When Jeonghan arrives from work you still have one hour to go, so in the end he is the one to always cook dinner. After you two share the dishes and eat something sweet as the dessert the kitchen counter - previously used as a dinner table, now acts an officer table.

While Jeonghan looks up some designer classes, you search manufacturers. When he draws a cute rabbit girl that he named Ttoram, you try to understand how a business works, how you file taxes for it? Sometimes Jeonghan does the dirty work himself after he finishes a new version so you get your pink glittery pen and write in post-it what you think about the new product; ‘what is this material arrow-drawing pointing to a specific part of a squish toy’, ‘her head seems big are you sure she won't flop head first in someone’s bed?’, ‘are you sure? I think lamps are quite expensive.

The house gets filled with new art supplies, sometimes Jeonghan orders a bunch of them online, and sometimes you are the one that brings back a single pen or a new colored pencil that you pick up in arts stories every time you go to a meeting. The house is filled with paper and drawings, your favorite ones is always the first drafts - the ones that Jeonghan does on the non-quality paper, the ones that he does on pieces of paper, the ones that look less refined and to you are filled with children-like joy.

Another curious thing is how somehow you and Jeonghan seemed very addicted to post-it. Besides the practical use in the drawing drafts because Jeonghan was an old soul who couldn’t do his work on an Ipad like a normal human being in this day and age, you also used to communicate - ‘please buy eggs!’ you wrote and left on the kitchen door, ‘already set a reminder on my phone so i don’t forget to stop at the market!’ jeonghan replied. “Didn’t see u before I left :( don’t forget to take breaks” he wrote, somehow the post-it ended up in your office, and you glued it on the computer screen beside one green post-it with a frog with a raincoat on.

Every time the fridge was out of space for new ones you took them off one by one, with a smile on your face, and kept them in a box, safely stored. You always noticed one or two missing but you always thought the wind knocked them out and Jeonghan, that traitor, threw them in the garbage. In short, everything stayed the same with a daily dose of domestic life. The problem was - that it didn’t stay the same for very long.

And as hard as it was to admit, it was your fault.

There was no way around it.

It weirdly began every time you saw Jeonghan around the stove. The fact that Jeonghan was beautiful-handsome-pretty was not news to you. You, and every human being that laid eyes on him, always reached the point where you acknowledged how pretty Jeonghan was. In college it was a fucking nightmare, guys and girls banging on his dorm room when you two were watching a movie just because they thought Jeonghan was alone - the fact that he didn’t have a roommate because he bribed someone (one of the most Jeonghan acts that you ever witnessed, but that was beside the point - really) only added to the fact that 87% of his course thought he was down to bang anytime. The truth was that you always knew that Jeonghan was someone objectively good-looking, but there was a catch, even though Jeonghan was beautiful you didn’t really feel attracted to him and he knew that. Countless times you told him he was too pretty for his own good along with the lines that he wasn’t your type, ‘what the fuck that supposed to mean’ he answered the first time you said that, back in high school. With time it turned out to be your standard answer to every girl that was attracted to him and wanted a shot with him but somehow thought he was your boyfriend.

You know that Jeonghan is good-looking, and you know that for fucking years so why are you going a little insane every time you get in the kitchen and the man is cutting some onions? Truly it happens in the weirdest hours, out of nowhere, your brain reminds you how hot Jeonghan is - and that is even scarier because you knew that the man was handsome, but hot? That’s a new development. Once he arrived from his morning run, his hair a little damp, sweat dripping down his neck, and only with a thigh shirt because he already removed his go-to wind-breaker and you almost collapsed on the kitchen floor. That alone was mind-blowing.

The horrors begin when you just couldn’t deal with his touch without your mind going to the fucking gutter. When he touched your hips to make your move because he wanted to open a drawer, or when he dropped down on the sofa without leaving space between your bodies, his hand tapping your thigh. Out of nowhere, you are combusting because his hand feels hot against your skin, goosebumps appearing across your skin Jeonghan asks you if you are cold. And the fact that Jeonghan is touching you isn't necessarily super weird, he always did that, but somehow you feel that his touches changed and you can't quite pinpoint how besides the fact that you are reacting differently.

It doesn't really help your case that Jeonghan develops a weird habit of wrapping his arm around your neck. It happens everywhere, even in public and every time you can feel yourself grow a little hotter. You were supposed to pay attention to Minghao’s new paintings, a designer slash illustrator slash painter whom you worked with for a few book covers, and somehow in the middle of the opening of his new exposition, you can’t even think about the impasto on his oil paintings because Jeonghan hands feels heavy on your neck, his fingers touching the lateral of it almost rubbing. Every time you take a step to try to see the paintings up close Jeonghan doesn’t let you leave his hold, his body close enough to be pressed against your back, half of your back feeling hot because of his presence, half of it feeling cold because of his absence.

“Hao!” You say when you finally see the man of the hour, black hair on black coats, his hands behind his back looking around all the people that came just to appreciate his work.

“Hey,” He says opening his arms for you.

“Congratulations,” you say feeling the arms of Minghao around your back, your body though prefer to pay attention to the weight of Jeonghan’s eyes on you, “everything is mind blowing,” you say to the man - his hands still on your body, yours on his shoulder, until you hear Jeonghan clearing his throat in order to get you to notice his existence, and you almost laugh, “Hao this is Jeonghan, Jeonghan this is Minghao.”

“Great job man,” Jeonghan says in a weird tone, giving Minghao two little pats on the back and taking a step by your side, his hand on your waist.

“Thank you,” Minghao says politely, like he always does, “It is a pleasure to meet you, you are in the book industry too?” Minghao asks with his hands in his pocket,

“No,” Jeonghan almost scoffs, him? and books? God forbid, “I work with investment these type of things,”

“Oh, so you are not in the art business then,” Minghao acknowledges and you know his interest peaked even though you don't know why, maybe because you know Jeonghan so well you don't have much to unfold, while Minghao just seems weirded out by the fact that you have a Wall Street dude by your side.

“Oh Hao you always flatter me when you include me in the art business,” you say jokingly, reminiscing one of the many conversations you had with Minghao over a bottle of wine.

“I told you," a sly smile across his face, "books are a matter of passion.”

“You did,” you say somewhat reminiscing of the talk you two had back then. It was after calling him up for his second cover, after a meeting where he made you go through the book's motifs and ideas so he could have a feeling of what he should focus on.

“You should come to the after party,” Minghao says, “we could catch up,”

“Yeah I don’t think we can,” Jeonghan says while he checks his watch, he knows the question wasn't directed to him, he isn't stupid and he has two eyes, but he also is a stubborn motherfucker and now he just wants to ruin Minghao's night, and he is not about to Banksy this place up with shredded art pieces - because he is afraid his bank account can't take the lawsuit. “I have a work meeting tomorrow morning” Jeonghan reminds you, his fingers still on your waist.

“Still,” Minghao says, looking puzzled by you two, “you can stay right?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” you say sorry “Han is driving us back so-”

“Is your phone number still the same?” Minghao asks without dropping a beat, and Jeonghan can give him that, he doesn't know Minghao but the guy just doesn't quit - he knows a stubborn guy when he sees one.

“Yeah, I didn’t change, but if you need you can e-mail me and-” You say before someone calls Minghao, it is his opening after all, a guy in the suit makes a gesture to him when the three of you look to see who was the owner of the voice.

“Sorry, I have to go, but I will call you," He says before giving you a kiss on the cheeks and walking to the guy who just called him.

Jeonghan snorts, really, what was that? He shouldn't find it so funny but it is. He takes a step back, his hands leaving you, while he looks at the painting. You know he is just pretending to analyze everything.

“What?” You ask him - missing his hand on your waist, on your neck, missing his presence around you.

“Nothing,” he says shaking his head, he is biting back a smile - laughter really, and you want to know what it is so funny, you are curious about what is going on in his head.

“It can’t be nothing come on,” you press on, your hand on his shoulder in a way to get some sort of touch from him, to regain some sort of proximity.

“Just-” Jeonghan stops, in front of another painting, his hand going back to your waist, and at the same time you think you can finally breathe again, your breath feels trapped in your throat, making you swallow on nothing, “You didn’t tell me it was an opening night to your ex-fling," he says. Eyes almost tinkling under the light and you know where this is going.

“Hao isn’t my ex fling what are you talking about?” You pretend, trying to get out of this situation because you know somehow Jeonghan will pry on, and he knows how to push your buttons enough just so you can spill everything he wants to know.

“Not fling then," Jeonghan says, hand still on your waist when he starts walking around the gallery with you by his side, until another painting that he really doesn't really care about, "an one night stand.”

“He is a friend," almost rolling your eyes at him, "I told you, I know him because of work,”

“So you are telling me you guys didn’t fuck?” And even though his words my seem harsh his tone is still light - he was truly a jerk but why are you smiling at him?

“Jeonghan, what the fuck?” You yelped, making Jeonghan's sly smile appear again.

“What?” He asks eyes still on you when you pretend to pay attention to the orange painting in front of you.

“Keep your voice low,” you mouthed, “we didn’t fuck,” you tell him again, and it was the truth, but somehow Jeonghan knew how to read between your words.

“Well,” he began, still looking at you even when he tilted his head to the side, a sly smile still on his face like he could see through you like you couldn't keep anything under wraps, and you could feel the goosebumps on the nape of your neck, your whole body tingling, “I am pretty sure it wasn’t for lacking trying on his part.”

“It would be too messy,” you finally blurt it out.

“Ah of course," Jeonghan laughs again and it almost sounds bitter to you, "so he did try, it was after or before saying the book and passion line?”

“After,” you say, your time to laugh, even though you feel the heat on your skin, a crazy addition to new feels because you are not one to actually feel shy around Jeonghan.

“And you laid him down too gently,” he acknowledges, eyes moving through the room again. You follow his gaze, seeing Minghao watching the both of you across the room, you just greet him with a smile.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You ask him, pressing your body on his sides until his arms are back on you.

“Well," Jeonghan breathes, his eyes still rummaging around the room, "I know you can break a guy's heart but apparently you lost your touch with that one because he is still down to fuck.”

“Jeonghan!” You gasped, “No he isn’t you are seeing things like you always do.” You tell him, Jeonghan had this weird superpower that he tuned in college - he could tell a guy was somehow interested in you from miles away, the first few times you actually made a bet on it; fifteen dollars, to pay him for a meal, to go with him to a frat party that his friend Soonyoung was hosting. After the fifth time, you just learned that was better to trust his judgment on it.

“Oh yeah, it truly takes a mind reader to see a guy ogling you across the room and telling you to show up at the after party even tho you have a guy on your arm," Jeonghan almost scoffs, then he leans down, his mouth close to your ear, "truly, his intention was indeed to talk about the impasto or the lighting or the shadow of his hard-on,”

“Jeonghan” you accuse again slapping his arm playfully, laughing at his antics “If I trusted you my ego would be in the clouds because every walking human being apparently wants to fuck me according to you.”

“Not everyone but a great part of it, sure." He deadpans.

“Sure, apparently you are the only exception who else?”

“I’m not,” Jeonghan deadpans again, just shrugging. Because it is not actually something he tried to hide over the years, it is nothing something that he is ashamed of either. And he is pretty sure it is something you already know since college so he doesn't have to lie about it. Jeonghan might be a coward, but he isn't really a liar.

“What?”

“I tried to get in your pants my whole high school years," He says, his eyes still on the painting, or everything that catches his attention, his eyes are everywhere really but on you. "I just gave up after the few first months of college”

“What the hell?” You try again. Everything feels kind of abnormal in your head. The way that Jeonghan says those words - like he is saying that you two should buy soap the next time you both go do groceries, it freaks you out. How can he be so normal about all of that?

And how could you be so clueless? Everything shifts in your brain - like the earth just changed its axes. He never told you anything closer to this, you are sure of it. You never suspected that Jeonghan liked you back then, or scratch that, that he tried to get in your pants. It seems something so unreal that you are having a hard time wrapping your mind around it - around the idea of a teenager and younger Jeonghan wanting something from you that you never really saw happening.

“What the hell what?” Jeonghan stopped dead on his track, finally looking at you, “You didn’t know that?”

“Of course not,” you say exasperated.

“Oh, I thought you were laying me down gently too,” he added, in the most neutral tone possible, making your head spin a little.

“No, I had no idea,” and it is true. You remember everyone from college who thought you and Jeonghan were a couple back then, everyone who found it weird when you two answered that you were just friends. You remember Seokmin, and you think about Seungcheol's words in Vegas and everything is hazed, a little out of focus. “Why did you give up tho?” You ask him.

“I just,” he says still looking forward and avoiding your eyes like the plague, “I mean, besides the fact that you got into he is not my type phase I would never kiss that man, the fact that I tried for four years and it didn’t happen led me to believe that never would, so...”

“I needed to make clear to every girl that was falling and tripping over you that I was not your girlfriend, they were pretty sure we were high school sweethearts back then”

“I think everyone we know somehow ends up thinking we are in a relationship,” he says, “I mean, clearly not goth impasto guy because that would be crazy, hitting on a woman with her husband on her side but”

“You need to pick up your husband's game,” you say kidding, while walking around the gallery with him, “I was indeed mistaken to be a single woman today.”

“I should have bought a bigger ring,” Jeonghan groaned, making you laugh, weirdly you still have the big ring on your finger.

“That’s not the answer,” you groaned because the man truly had this weird obsession with this ring and big rocks. You could tell him over and over again how you didn’t care about the ring or the rocks and he still found a way to make sure you were wearing the ring.

“And what is? If I try to be more territorial within the touch department we would be in jail for public indecency,” Jeonghan says low on your ear, his voice mischievously, while his hand presses on your hips, “Should we just go to jail?” Jeonghan asks, his hands trying to go lower heading towards your butt.

“Jeonghan, don’t test me,” you say seriously, your hand holding his and bringing up on your body. Why the fuck didn’t Jeonghan behave like a proper human being? Why your heart is racing against your ribcage? Why you are enjoying this whole thing?

The whole night you can feel Jeonghan’s hand on you in some way, or on your lower back, your neck, fingers on your shoulder, making his presence known somehow. And every time you think you are starting to understand what happened - what Jeonghan said, what that meant, he touches you again and everything gets a bit hazed, taking you to the start again.  Should you read into everything that he said to you? Would you be able to deal with it?

Those questions are still going around your brain in the car back home. Home, that alone was something that didn't make sense either. The air in the car is so thick that you think you can't breathe, the fact that Jeonghan's hand is splayed against your thigh doesn't help with the issue. The curiosity gets the best of you - you want to know all the unsaid things, you want to get under his skin and discover everything Jeonghan even wanted.

He doesn't move his hand, he doesn't stroke your skin, his hand is just there. Again, a reminder of some sort, and you almost laugh - silly of him to think that his presence could go unnoticed by you. Jeonghan has always been there on your mind, and lately even more. It makes your mouth go dry. The feeling is back on the pit of your stomach again. What if? You ask yourself, what would have happened if Jeonghan said those things back then? Would the present be different? Would that have washed away all the curiosity about Jeonghan?

Arriving home you go straight to the sofa and plop down in the middle seat, taking your time to take off your high heels, you don’t know why but you still buy pairs with ankle ties - the bane of your existence when it is three hours later and you have a thigh dress on, maybe that’s why you think you hate those types of event, even though you had a great time, saw a few friends and enjoyed the night with Jeonghan, you always ended up tired with a few blisters on your feet. You can hear Jeonghan’s footsteps around the house while you massage your feet and try to ease the tension.

You turn your body so you can stretch your legs on the sofa, the pain on your calves is killing you. You don’t even turn when you feel Jeonghan entering the room, his perfume and the sound of his slippers are enough to make his presence known. It was always like that? Did Jeonghan's presence always engulf you? Did it always make you unable to focus on anything else? Did it always make you question your own sanity? He sits down on the sofa, in the same direction as you, his legs around yours, his front pressed on your back and you hold yourself back because you almost whimper when you feel your body melting against his.

“You’re tense,” Jeonghan says his voice low, his hands pressing the knots on your shoulders.

“I am always tense and stressed out,” you say, and it is the truth. Jeonghan doesn’t need to know that for the last few weeks the fact that he is the number one reason. You almost rub yourself against him, feeling a little bit crazy and hot all over - oh no.

“Hm,” Jeonghan acknowledges. When his fingers close around your neck you almost jump on your seat, his thumbs traveling across the knots of your spine, and you are not strong enough to not whimper this time, “there’s a lot of things you could do to distress.”

“Like what? A guided meditation?” You joke, trying to get away with it, trying to downplay every reaction of your body.

“Fuck those apps,” he mutters under his breath, he is so close you can feel his breath against your nape.

“Yeah right there,” You say when his thumb presses down in a particular knock on your back.

“This one?” You just nod, don’t trust yourself enough to utter a word that doesn’t sound like a humiliated noise. Since when did you turn into a mess in Jeonghan’s hand? But you just accept your fate, feeling how soft your body feels against his. “Can I open this?” Jeonghan asks, his voice so low you barely hear, but he is so close to you that your ears catch his question.

And you still don’t trust yourself, so you nod again. Jeonghan drops the zipper of your dress and takes his time to gather your hair in his hands, and taking them out of his way, letting your locks rest on your shoulder. His fingertips trails the collar of your dress again, and you can feel the goosebumps across your skin and you know Jeonghan can see them as well.

You can feel the way that Jeonghan’s fingertips travel down your spine as he opens the zipper of your dress. And you close your arms around your chest, in order to maintain the dress in place because you can feel how loose the fabric feels against your body after the zip is down. But apparently, Jeonghan is not even close to satisfied because his fingers are tugging the straps of your dress down your arms.

Jeonghan’s fingertips are still on your skin, stroking your arms when you feel his lips against your shoulder. Before you can think about anything your own body reacts before you, giving space so Jeonghan can continue kissing the column of your neck. Everything feels a little surreal, a blur, you can't quite grasp-

Then, your cellphone starts to ring bringing you back to reality.

“Don’t pick up,” Jeonghan tells you, almost like a whisper against your ear, his hands still around your waist - but then your phone rings again and again and reality comes crashing again and again.

And you want to say that you are ok with almost being undressed on Jeonghan’s lap, that it is ok the way his thighs cage you, that it is ok how his hands feel hot against your body and how his lips feel against your neck. But your phone rings again and it must be important so you stretch yourself and try to find your phone inside your bag by feel. When you finally can reach the phone dies, and you can feel Jeonghan’s smile across your skin - like he just won. But before you can drop the phone you feel it ringing again, and when you pick up the big font appears on the screen ‘seungcheol is the best’. You can feel Jeonghan’s hand freeze against your body, the way he just goes rigid.

“Don’t pick up,” He says again but now something is different - his voice is not low.

“It must be something important,” you reasoned, because it is true. You have been trying to get a hold of Seungcheol since before leaving Vegas and yet the man didn't answer you once.

“Just-” Jeonghan tries, and you can feel his squeezing your shoulders again, almost in a silent plea.

“I haven’t talked to him since Vegas, it must be something important,” You say, your own hands going to his in an effort to show him that you understand what he is trying to say.

“Are you truly doing this right now?” Jeonghan asks and when you don't answer him he already knows.

You look at him but Jeonghan just gets up and off the sofa and leaves the room, in the end, you choose to just pick up your phone and answer it with a low “Hey cheol,” so low that Seungcheol asks if you were sleeping.

Seungcheol tells you he wants to meet, to talk about things. And you say yes because why not? You pick yourself up and close your dress. Before going to your room you stop at Jeonghan's door and before you lose all the courage that you have in your body you knock on the door, nothing, and you try again just to hear the sound of the shower across the room when you glue your ear against the door.

When you lie on your bed you don't really can close your eyes. You feel restless, your mind wavering, and you can't stop thinking about Jeonghan.

What would that mean?

If you took that leap would Jeonghan be there if everything fell apart? A shiver runs down your spine because it is the first that the answer would be a no. You ask yourself why now. What made Jeonghan change?

And you can't even look back anymore - you can't even think about your friendship with Jeonghan without it being tinted, his words echoing in your brain, "I just gave up". You play the whole conversation back in your head, almost like an old VHS tape - rewinding and pressing play, trying to see everything in another angle, rewinding, asking yourself what that meant, rewinding, thinking back, rewinding and pressing play - unfolding all the touches, and the times Jeonghan's hand lingered on your body.

You rewind until the sleep gets the best of you when it is already bright outside.

You wake up to the sound of your phone, Seungcheol calling you because he will run a little late, of course, you say while he just laughs because it is so clear that you were sleeping. When you run down the stairs, almost falling on it because your brain isn't functioning yet, you don't find Jeonghan anywhere. When you look at the fridge and there are no new notes, your heart breaks a little.

The coffee that Seungcheol chooses is pretty, and not very crowded, and even though Seungcheol is late is not a big deal, you use the time to go over a few manuscripts and spreadsheets with a cup of coffee on your side. Or at least you try to, but the truth is that you send Jeonghan a few messages and every time your phone pings you need to check if he is the one answering you - it isn't.

When Seungcheol arrives, you see him first, still from afar, his hair is shorter now. You almost laugh because that is definitely not a Seungcheol's choice, nor a haircut. His hair screamed his fiancée's name.

"Hey stranger," he says sitting across from you.

"Hey yourself," you greet him back, almost laughing at how awkward this whole thing is. Seungcheol and you walking around eggshells. Neither you nor Seungcheol wants to start talking about the whole elephant in the room - Yoon Jeonghan.

You ask him about the wedding preparation, it is going nice he says, he was late because he needed one last fit on his suit. His mother nagged over and over about how he shouldn't wear a navy blue suit, his future wife nagged about how it couldn't be black because the whole vibe of the afternoon wedding was different from a night wedding.

"I'm just happy that you guys worked everything out," Seungcheol says after a while, sipping on his coffee.

"Cheol," You try your heart already tugging on your inside.

"No really," he smiles at you, the way he always does - with a fondness you can't quite handle, like after all those years he still sees you like the kid you once were. Someone who didn't really have hold of her life and in a way, after all those years you feel like that again. "I did a lot of thinking," Seungcheol chuckles, "I think that I always have been envious of Jeonghan in a way," he breathes loudly, almost trying to gather up courage, "here I was, with my wedding date set up and still having doubts about how I feel and if I should go on with it." Seungcheol scratches her head almost like he is ashamed to tell you the truth, "And there is my friend, right? I think that the thing I always admired about Jeonghan was how consistent he was, you know me, in that way, we are alike right? We see shine things and we run towards them, a new project, a thing we like, don't even say anything about the golf gear I swear to god," he says abruptly making you laugh, and it was true in that sense you and Seungcheol were very much the same. "But Jeonghan is consistent, that man's mind is a fucking rock," Seungcheol says like a jab and you can understand why, "and yet he is more sure about you than I am about my fiancée really. And he has been sure for years, I still don't know what made him make a move-, he didn't talk to me prior to that, but I am truly happy that you guys figured it out, it took you long enough."

"I don't even know what to say," you breathe, looking at Seungcheol. You can't blurt out the words - physically unable to tell him. You think about what you should say, you should tell him -'we are not together', 'we didn't figure it out'. You want to tell the truth, you want to come clean, but you just can't. "But yeah, he has always been there for me" you laugh a little soulless. It is not a lie either, but it is not the whole truth, Yoon Jeonghan has always been there for you, but now all the other pieces of the puzzle are coming together. "I think the only thing that hurt him was you going on and on about his commitment issues or whatever.

"It's-" Seungcheol breathes, "it wasn't like that. I mean, sure, he can't commit to anyone who isn't you," he shrugs, "I think it was back when you were going out with that lit kid right? god" Seungcheol laughs, shaking his head like he just found a memory in his treasure box, "Jeonghan was so jealous back then," Seungcheol continues, reminiscing,  "he would get furious every time that guy would give you a letter, a poem, anything really. I don't know how you didn't catch up on how much he hated that guy's gut if he dissed the poor kid."

"I just thought-" you stop to think about it, "I don't even know what I was thinking back then, but I never once thought it was because of jealousy, he was dating like 3 girls at the same time back then," you tell, felling the bittersweet taste on your mouth.

"Well," Seungcheol takes another sip, "you know Yoon Jeonghan, when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to fuck everything up and push himself to do shit just out of spite. His high school crush and love of his life found her first boyfriend, how do you think he would handle that? What he could do about that? Try to write poems better than Mark? He tried to believe they were all shitty, trying to forget you was the last thing he could do for himself, even that didn't actually work."

And you feel like you are about to go into overdrive.

It is one of your flaws really, you were never one who would react quickly - your brain always trying to assess and digest everything before being able to take a leap. The problem was that you needed to unpack more than ten years, to go through every file of your life with Jeonghan and try to find a new meaning, trying to find a clue, in search of something you don't know yet, but that could make you understand, or realize.

You spend the whole day feeling a weird taste in your mouth.

The thing is, you can't quite pinpoint what are you feeling, you can't really name it. It somehow resembles feeling betrayed, you think, that you have a cheating boyfriend and everyone knows his secret but nobody has the courage to tell you, and when you actually find out you are the last one to know.

You take your time walking around town and even figure out the longest route to Jeonghan's house.

Even that sounded weird rolling off your tongue.

You try again - picking random memories to try to see if you can find a hiding meaning somewhere, a clue, evidence of Jeonghan's feelings. A crush you could understand, something small like an affection with an expiration date you could understand. You could understand the curiosity that grew in the past month.

But Seungcheol's words didn't point to that, Seungcheol's words were actually pointing in the opposite direction of that.

And if you were being honest with yourself, that made you afraid.

“I talked with Seungcheol,” you blurt out when Jeonghan finally arrives.

“Yeah, we are not going there,” Jeonghan says seriously, without looking at you - avoiding you at every cost. It is a tell, a clue that he doesn't want to talk about it. You don't want either, if you could you would never go there again, but you need to, because living things like they are right now, messy and all over the place aren't working.

“Jeonghan,” you groan, “we need to talk about everything that happened in Vegas, his wedding is in a few weeks."

“I think you were there when he said I wasn't invited so I am not really following right now," Jeonghan says his voice stuffy because his head is inside the fridge in search of something, maybe he is just trying to not look at you.

"He told me you are not answering his calls," You tell him, and before Jeonghan says anything he just scoffs and closes the fridge door without taking anything out. He doesn't actually move, but he doesn't look at you either, his head is hanging off his shoulders, and you know Jeonghan so well that you know that nothing will make him move. You know you are not going to win, but yet you press it on, because you are tired of things being left unsaid, of Jeonghan bottling everything out and things ending up being your fault.

"Why are you being so fucking stubborn about this?" You ask watching Jeonghan just shake his head, "he is your best friend."

“Yeah like Seungcheol’s is flawless,” he bites back.

“Jeonghan this is not the point right now-" You start before he cuts you off.

“It is never the point right?” He asks you, finally looking at you, still holding his weight on the counter, "Is never the point, is never the right time, is never them it is always me fucking it up because it is Jeonghan he is not serious, he can take it, you guys can go on and on and god forbid if someone doesn't wanna take more bullshit from you."

“Come one don’t get angry with me,” you plead.

“Of course, right, I can't even get angry," Jeonghan says before he heads to walk out of the kitchen.

"Jeonghan," You almost beg making him stop and look at you, "we really need to talk about everything."

"Talk about everything or for you to be Seungcheol's spokesperson?" He says, and when you don't answer he completes, "Then no, we are not talking”

“Of course, because that will solve everything," you say almost groaning, "he is your best friend for god's sake, he still thinks we are in a somewhat relationship, he wants to talk to you, he feels guilty for being an asshole. He is sorry." You try almost stomping your feet at every word.

"Well, good for him," Jeonghan says like words don't have enough weight to make him care.

"Come on Jeonghan I'm trying here," you whine.

"Trying to do what exactly?" He asks, "Did you ever think about what actually happened since Vegas?" He says finally looking at you, and you feel even worse. He almost laughs when you don't answer. "Okay, I did, I spent every single second thinking about it and I am really fucking tired of thinking about it. I tried to put it through a different lens, I tried to put myself in other people's shoes, I tried to be reasonable and understand everyone, look I really did, and I did a great job understanding that you forgot the whole damn thing, of course, you can forget me telling you that I am head over hills for you sure, you can forget that you were the one who kissed me back then sure, of course it happens, I mean," Jeonghan scoffs, "I understand for years what is a few more months right?"

"Jeonghan-"

"No, let me finish this because somehow it will be my fault again so let me make everything clear," he says - back again looking at every corner around the kitchen but not laying an eye on you; "Seungcheol knows, he always knew about everything, he knows how many girlfriends gave me fucking ultimatum and I always choose you. He knows how many women broke up with me because they knew I was in love with you, sure, everyone in my fucking life knew but you - I understand that too sure," he stops, breathing loudly and you feel the lump around your throat way to thigh, "and he fucking knows that if I could I would've got over this sooner, so yeah, maybe I was too fucking sensitive when my friend act like I was a fucking coward who has commitment issues and would never do anything about it sure, it's my fault great, I can be responsible for that. I can take that sure, I can take Seungcheol, what I can't take is you playing dumb after last night, that I can't take it, and to be fair I don't want to, I don't have to, and you don't have a lot of excuses this time, I guess you remember right? And I think that time I made myself pretty clear so this time you must know right?"

You have been building your life around Jeonghan's for years. In a way, Jeonghan's life and yours were beautifully intricate, to the point that you weren't quite sure where one ended and one began. You think about how would your life be without Jeonghan's presence, and how would your future look like. And that scared the shit out of you.

"And that took you how many years Jeonghan?"

"Don't do that," he says and his voice feels almost small.

"Sure, I am sorry if I'm being fucking selfish right now, but you had your own time to think about everything, right? You have had years to come to your own terms? I'm freaking out here, do you think that's easy for me? Do you think it is easy to think about the aftermath if this goes wrong Jeonghan? Sure I understand that maybe that is your tipping point great, I understand that, but you are my friend and I don't fucking know how we will go on if we fuck everything up," you laugh, "I think we already passed that apparently."

"We didn't fuck it up," Jeonghan says, "Why can't you trust me for once?"

"I do," You say, and it is the truth, you trust Jeonghan with your life, "I do, I am just scared. You took your time to figure everything out, but every time I look back now I think about everything you didn't tell me,"

"I told you everything," Jeonghan says and you can almost feel his desperation, "I was sincere about everything,"

"Now you are just telling lies," you say laughing dryly.

"Sure I didn't tell you everything, but the things I haven't told you are small in comparison."

"The fact that you like me isn't small Jeonghan," you say, and it finally downs on you, that this - his feelings are a huge thing that you can't quite hide.

"What I am trying to say is-" Jeonghan says, finally taking steps and getting closer to you, "I will not go anywhere," you hear him - even though it feels like he is whispering, "even if we fuck up, even if this doesn't work out, I will not go anywhere, if that's what you are afraid of then you have nothing to be afraid. I won't go anywhere because that would kill me more than would hurt you, and even though everyone around me thinks I am a masochist I would prefer not to die."

"I would rather not hurt you," you say and you feel like you could cry, "I am sorry if I ever did."

"You did," Jeonghan says, taking your hand, and holding it firmly like that act alone can show you how serious he is, "but nothing I couldn't take, even If you hurt me again, I can take it, I will take it." 

Even if both of you don't want to, things stay a little weird between the two of you for some time. Like both of you are back to being so conscious of each other presence that it is just weird to jump right back at it, or, actually, take a step in another direction. But things fall back into place - more because of Jeonghan’s attitude than yours. He is the one that calls you for dinner, and he is the one that hugs you when you enter the kitchen.

He is the one that is trying to make things not weird. And you love him for it, you just love him, heatedly.

And the thing is, you always loved Jeonghan, but somehow, this kind of love and appreciation feels new and it is so scary, it makes you realize how everything is so fragile. But, at the same time - it makes you curious, it makes you wonder, it makes you act first just to see Jeonghan’s reaction.

Like when Jeonghan’s is whining about something and how he wants to quit his work so bad and you just hug him - almost melting against his back, placing your chin against his should and you can see Jeonghan freeze for a few seconds before he starts to pay attention on the food again.

Or when you start to watch a movie together and Jeonghan just melts in your lap, falling asleep while your hand goes through his hair. The next day when you whine about it he sweats to God he didn't sleep, he was paying attention to the movie, if you want to he can say the whole movie plot and all.

When the first Ttoram prototype arrives you are so excited that when you both place the little bunny on the dinner table, when she flops down - face diving because her head is too big - you are so happy for him that you just hold his face and place a quick kiss on his lips. Jeonghan looking at you wide-eyed. You almost start to laugh before you mutter:

“I told you, her head is too big,” you say trying to place Ttoram upright again.

“It is her charm, her brain is so big that she is dumb,” He says his voice weirdly fond, hands on your body pulling you into him.

“Yoon Jeonghan,” You stare at him - that weird mischievous smile on his lips, “what is that supposed to mean?”

“You should be honored,” Jeonghan says, holding your face almost making you yelp because his hands are so freaking cold, “You are my muse after all.”

And you almost curse him. But the thing is Jeonghan is cute, so will let it pass.

The thing is most of the time you are giggling and kicking your feet at everything Jeonghan does - that crush is so weird because you used to be stronger than that, now you are just falling in all of his antics, and boy doesn't he love it.

He just says the weirdest things out of nowhere just so he can hear your laugh. He holds you every time he has a chance, just pulling you close to hug you. But his favorite part of this new thing is how movie night now is just the two of you starting a movie to just act like a horny teenager.

Jeonghan is always the one who initiates it in a way. Sometimes is just caressing your arm before you start kissing him and licking against his mouth. Sometimes he feels bold enough and places his hand under your hoodie. The details always change but he always ends up with a hard-on and feeling like his younger self.

And it is happening again, his cock is hard, and he can barely hear the movie that is playing on the tv because you are kissing him and he can feel himself melting against the bed, like his whole body is going limp.

It is stronger than him, really. He wants to stay calm and collected but before he knows it he is already a whimpering mess, fingers digging in on your waist, his hips moving on their own, searching for some kind of pressure.

It is such a weird feeling, feeling so boneless and yet, feeling like he is a string - being pulled thigh enough he is about to snap at any minute.

When you break the kiss Jeonghan almost whines but before he can say anything you are already kissing his jaw so he just breathes loudly - accepting everything you want to give him.

“Can I suck you off?” You ask low on Jeonghan’s ears and he almost drop dead right there, like a fucking high schooler, like a teenager who just cum on his pant and drop dead when see a woman naked. And that would be fucking humiliating. He waited for so long he can't just burst a fucking nut in his own pants.

Jeonghan wants to answer you, he wants to say yes and maybe even mutter a please and thank you but somehow his brain is not even working properly, he is beyond dumb. But his dick is hard against his pants and he cannot even think properly - his brain is working overcapacity right now to try to take everything in.

So he does the only thing he can do in the moment - he pulls you into a kiss, and it is messy but Jeonghan doesn’t really care, focusing on the way you taste against his tongue. Jeonghan feels your cold hand against his stomach and he almost jumps at the spot, but you just whimper against his mouth when he does the same thing.

Jeonghan thinks the two of you are beyond niceties - you just told him you want his dick in your mouth, so he lets his desires win, while one of his hands is holding your waist under your shirt, the other one he uses to grope your ass. He squeezes your ass and at the same time, he tries to get your body even closer. You end up with your leg over him, across his hips, Jeonghan with his last functioning neuron takes the chance to shove his hand under your shorts too.

“Han,” you say when you come up for air, hand still splayed across Jeonghan’s body. “Come on,” you try again whining.

“Hm?” Jeonghan questions, his eyes almost closed and his head bent.

“You don’t want to?” You ask, voice low, taking the time that he uses to think about an answer to trail your lips across his neck, sucking at his skin, “I really want to but if you don't that's okay?”

“Hm?” Jeonghan mumbles - for a second he has no idea what are you talking about, his mind focused on how you feel against his hands, the weight of your body against him, how every curve of your body is pressed against his, how you smell and you taste.

“Suck you off,” you say again against his neck, almost petulantly like Jeonghan isn't paying attention, and he really isn't, but you shouldn't blame a man.

“Fuck,” he says almost whimpering.

Jeonghan was never like this - in his life nor in bed. He was never a mess, not to this point. Jeonghan always pretended to be somewhat collected, holding the strings of his life tight enough he could make his own choices, but it was never like that when the topic was you. So when the feeling pools on his belly, a reaction to how your fingers feel against his throat, taking matters into your hands when you grab Jeonghan's chin and maneuver his face in an angle so you can have access to more of his skin.

Jeonghan thinks he can die like this - almost dry-humping your leg. But apparently, you have other plans, your hand tugging at his joggers. Jeonghan's only reaction is to lift his hips, trying to help. It doesn't help much, but it is enough for you to shove your hands under his underwear, making Jeonghan shiver. When your hand finally finds his dick he almost melts, the tip of your things trying to map out everything before you apply pressure on it. He moans softly before closing his eyes.

He wants to be patient and wants to take whatever you give him, but the truth is he can't quite hold back anymore. His hands left your body so he can get hold of your face, kissing you. "Want to see you," he tells you, using all his strength to take one of the straps of your pajamas down. Kissing your shoulders, trying to map your collarbones with his mouth.

When Jeonghan tries to move the strap down your arm you don't budge, shaking your head telling him no, "don't want to stop touching you," and Jeonghan almost short circuit when your hand wraps around him and give his dick a few tugs.

"I know baby," Jeonghan coos, almost delirious out of his mind, his hand holds your wrist and takes out of his cock and the way that you just whine makes him even more desperate. His whole body is limp, almost melting. Jeonghan thinks he might die if he doesn't get naked, but he is too entertained with the view of your boobs in his face.

He knows there is an easier way to do this but fuck it, he is not in his right mind. Instead of taking out your flimsy excuse of a pajama Jeonghan just shoves It down, tugging at the end of the fabric while he kisses your chest. The way that you hold his head is so delicate that makes Jeonghan feel weirdly treasured even if he is completely debauched lapping at your skin. And Jeonghan takes his time, appreciating every inch of your skin

He could spend hours like this, he thinks - almost melting against you, kissing your chest lazily. He drags his tongue across your skin until he can reach your nipple, his hands come up your body until he can grab your boob so he can angle just right before his mouth is back to your body. Jeonghan thinks he can die like that, it would be a good way to go - your fucking tits on his face, your body pressed on his, his hard-on against your thigh, everything feels dizzy. When you shove your chest on Jeonghan's face, holding his face against you, he just takes it because he is so down and so horny that taking it is the only thing he can do.

"Hannie," you call and Jeonghan really just has enough strength to look up at you, without his mouth leaving your chest, "Just let me-" you try to say without much control of your own situation.

It is not like you are in your right mind either. Jeonghan's hands feels warm on your skin, and he holds you so tight that you think about the aftermath of his grip - you should make a mental note to check for marks after this, and that alone makes you tremble. You can only think about how Jeonghan's body feels against yours, how his mouth is still on you, and you want to cry because it is just so good but not enough. You feel you might cry. Or worse, die.

You press Jeonghan down until his back is pressed down on the mattress. And God he is so pretty, it makes you almost feel delirious.

When you sit down on Jeonghan's hips he feels like he is almost dying. Everyone he ever wanted felting very pale in comparison when he lay his eyes on you - hair already a mess, lips red from kissing him, flimsy shirt pooling at your waist. Your hands sneak under his shirt, and he almost laughs, damn he must be looking so dumb right now - feeling and behaving like a fucking virgin while his crush is on his lap, taking her time with him. You lift Jeonghan's shirt, dragging your hands underneath it, almost whining and frustrated when the shirt doesn't stay around his neck. Cute - he thinks, when you pout Jeonghan realizes he said that out loud.

"Just take it off," you whine again, tugging at his shirt.

Jeonghan just nods, holding your hips for leverage until he is sitting upright, holding the back of his shirt and taking it off in record time, before Jeonghan lies down again he feels your hand on his chin, holding him so you can kiss him again. Damn, he is lucky. But before he can think another thought you are pushing him back on the bad again, his hand on your hips.

Your hands travel on his body, caressing him - making him feel so close to losing his mind it is almost ridiculous. When Jeonghan's feels your fingers graze his neck he feels almost delirious, when your hand palms his chest and your digits press against his nipples it Is his time to whine, he almost feels like it is just too much, maybe he is closer than a step away from coming in his pants.

One of your hands is splayed against Jeonghan's stomach when the other one tugs  the waistline of his pants, pulling the elastic band and letting it hit against Jeonghan's skin. You shuffle around his hips, sitting on his thighs now and Jeonghan is ready to complain when you tug on his pants again, this time actually getting the cloth to move and get it stopped by Jeonghan's hard-on.

"Baby," Jeonghan mumbles, "that's too much," he tries again, but apparently there is nothing he can say to make you stop - and in all honestly he doesn't want you to.

Jeonghan thinks he will die if he doesn’t get his dick free. Even though he doesn’t want to he takes the hand off your ass so he can take down his joggers, shoving his underwear down at the same time, his other hand still firm on your waist.

When your fingers close against Jeonghan’s shaft he almost sees stars. You give him a few experimental tugs. He feels so breathless, how is that even possible?

You almost scoff, looking at how even his dick is pretty - really, you should complain because it is so unfair. You press your finger on his slit, collecting the drop of precum, and the way that his dick twitch it makes your mouth water, but before you can even complete your thoughts Jeonghan’s hand is holding your face and bringing it down to another kiss.

If it was up to Jeonghan he would kiss you the whole night, but you had other ideas, using one hand to shove him until he is lying again when the other one is still on his dick. He is pretty sure he can feel your taste against your mouth but yet he feels parched. When you start to press kisses on his body, the only thing Jeonghan can do is take it.

Jeonghan thinks you want to wreck him. He feels you press your lips against his nipples, his hips buckling on its own, and you stroke his dick a little bit harder. Jeonghan can barely breathe, yet, without wasting a second you are doing it again - pressing your lips to his other nipple and licking it.

Before he can even wrap his mind around that you start to lick his belly and Jeonghan almost sees stars. He just feels everything, and apparently, your tongue dragging against his skin goes straight to his dick. Jeonghan doesn't know how, but he lifts himself up on his elbows, the view alone could make him cum - you still kissing him, lips on his hips, pressing Jeonghan's dick against his tummy, fingers rubbing his frenulum and he is just so sensitive that he groans before he can hold your hand making you stop.

"Too sensitive?" You ask and why the fuck do you sound so out of it when Jeonghan is being pulled and pushed around the edge?

"A little," Jeonghan answers breathlessly, his tongue dry against his mouth.

"Ok, noted," you say before doing something even worse - placing your lips on the same place before kissing the tip of his dick.

You wrap your lips around Jeonghan can't really control himself, he just pushes his hips slightly so you can take more of him, and god when you moan around him almost makes Jeonghan forget every trace of decency and good bed etiquette. But damn you just look so beautiful sucking his dick, one of your hands digging on his thigh and the other one still wrapped around his dick that it is physically impossible to not thrust his hips up.

"God," Jeonghan says and he sounds so defeated against his own ears, "fuck, you are so pretty," he tries again, looking at you and when he sees you looking up at him, eyes almost twinkling with the praise. And his mind almost snaps - oh, you felt that didn't you? The joy of discovering something every time Jeonghan's hips snapped. He gets it now. It is almost like a power trip. "So pretty, taking my cock," Jeonghan tries again and he almost can feel your moan against his dick before he can hear it.

Every word that Jeonghan mutters makes you take more of his dick into your mouth until he is hitting the back of your throat, god and how he can take that? Your lips around him, your tongue dancing around his dick, the hollowing of yours checks each time you suck him. He is delirious and out of his mind. He tries his best, he really does, but his hips have a mind of its own, and before he knows it he is thrusting up again making you gag around him.

Then your mouth leaves his dick and Jeonghan feels like he is about to collapse, everything just feels so much - the sound, the spit trail, the way your breath is irregular, fanning against his skin - and yet the intensity of feeling nothing makes him mind spin a little bit.

"Come here," Jeonghan mutters trying to catch his own breath. You crawl up his body and Jeonghan can only focus on how messy you look, lips glossy and pink, and he can see the faintest trail of spit on the corner of your lips, he presses his lips there before he drags his fingers on your lips, "I let you suck my cock, can I fuck you now?"

"Please?" You ask back and Jeonghan can feel his dick twitching.

"How do you want me?" Jeonghan says tugging at the bottom of your shorts and he almost laughs when you just shove everything down at once - and he could laugh really, at your desperation but first, he is way worse than you, second you are so pretty that he can't wrap his mind around the fact that everything he conjured up in his mind every time he thought about you when he was lazily stroking himself didn't do you justice.

"You can stay like that," you say, and before Jeonghan can mutter an answer you are already placing your knees on the sides of his hips, his hands automatically going to your waist, his mouth pressing against your collar bones.

One of your hands goes to Jeonghan's jaw, just holding slightly, while the other one wraps around Jeonghan's dick again - and he swears he would say something but his mind goes completely blank when you press your pussy on his dick. Your hips moving to make his cock disappear between your folds, making it drag against your clit, Jeonghan can feel how wet you are and god everything just feels so hot - he feels tight all over, like his muscles are contracting, even the ones he didn't know he had.

"Are you getting off like this?" Jeonghan questions and his only answer is a whine and your hips buckling against him, "Come on baby," Jeonghan tries again, hand now holding your hip, guiding your movements, "I can-" Jeonghan breathes, he doesn't want to say it but, "If you keep going like that, pussy so pretty against my cock, I will cum before I-"

"God," you groan against his shoulder, "can you really?"

"Yeah," Jeonghan almost laugh, his hand grabbing your ass. Of course, he can, he could've come already, but he is dragging this off, he is holding himself back. "Babe," Jeonghan calls you, mouth hot against your neck, "I could've come on your mouth, I'm so hard it is almost painful,"

"Can we-" You almost hiccup, "can we like that" you mumble again, "you can fuck me later," you say and Jeonghan almost sees white.

God, he could cum like that this wasn't even a question, the question was could you? The fact that you were over the edge like him was enough to drive him crazy.

Every time you drag your hips against him Jeonghan's let out a little moan, and he feels so wrecked that he just plants his lips on your neck, sucking at your skin. Jeonghan does not know if it is a reaction or is just because he is losing his mind but he can tell you are getting faster, the rhythm getting a little off, the way you breathe against him, everything just seems too much, and Jeonghan can't take it anymore.

The world stops spinning for a bit - everything just stays still.

Jeonghan is out of it until the sound of your breath brings him back. You are almost pouting. "Did you?" Jeonghan asks, himself breathless too.

"No," You whine and you feel so frustrated that Jeonghan pities you a little bit.

"It's okay," he says - because it is he will take care of it, it's not a problem.

But when Jeonghan looks down he almost cums again. It is so messy. Why there is so much cum? God, he blinks at the view - trying to take everything but mainly you, hovering on his lap.

"Han," You call and Jeonghan is brought back to reality.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he says, and it is not like he is in control anymore, his mind Is just gone, he just drops his hand - scooping his own cum and placing it own your pussy. You moan so loudly and Jeonghan can feel your desperation, pressing his digits more firmly against your clit, "Like that?" He questions and you can only nod your head, words falling. Jeonghan holds you close to him, your chest against his, your hand still going between your legs, his other hand holding your waits, "Fuck how can you be so hot," he starts going making you feel a light-headed, "I will eat you later okay?" Jeonghan says, "Don't worry, I will eat you out and I will let you fuck me, you just need to tell me what you need."

"Just," You hiccup, "Just like that."

Jeonghan listens to you, even though the position is not the best to his wrist and he could do so much better - but you just keep babbling on and on about how you are almost there, how he just needs to stay like that, how you are feeling so good that he listens to you, how could he not when you are almost coming undone against his fingers?

And then you bring Jeonghan's face up to a kiss, his mind was too focused on his fingers disappearing against your folds to catch on earlier, but you don't seem to mind when you lick against his mouth and finally cum. Jeonghan holds you against his body for a few seconds when he finally hears you groan.

"God I am so sticky," you complain and he finally laughs.

Jeonghan though, keeps his promise and he eats you out after that, and he fucks you too, and then, he just forgets he has his own room.

It is weird how much you two fit each other. And how seamlessly you two turn into boyfriend-girlfriend situations, or legally, husband-wife, but who cares about silly papers really?

Everything is normal really - Jeonghan keeps saying he need just a better Ttoram version before you two start promoting on social media. You two keep sharing dinners, and Jeonghan even makes a point about how the two of you need to go on a date. You bribe him, telling him he needs to call Cheol before the wedding - and he just shrugs and picks his phone up calling his best friend, you almost scream, it was that easy?

You two share everything, you don't know why but Jeonghan just chooses your bed to sleep in, you question him saying you want to sleep on his bed too - it just smells like you, is nice - he says before making a weird noise after face planting one of your pillows. 

It comes to the point that you get weirded out when you wake up and he is not on your bed. When you pick yourself up and finally drag your body out of the bed - something weird happens, an unknown voice resonates in your house - okay not yours, Jeonghan's but...

You find Jeonghan in the kitchen, back facing you, sipping a cup of tea with another woman. A very gentle elderly lady, her hair is almost all white, and everything about her screams grandma. She sees you before you can say anything,

"Hi dear," even her voice is gentle.

"Han?" You ask when Jeonghan stares at you, eyes fondly taking up your sleepy self.

"Hey baby, come here," He says opening his arms, "come here Iris was talking about how she was visiting her third grandson can you believe that?"

You could, sure, everything about her screamed grandma in uppercase letters, but what was happening?

"Yes," the old lady answers, "where was I?" she claps before she picks back up again, "See like I was telling you, Aroon's mom is my youngest daughter, and her pregnancy hadn't been the easiest so that's why I couldn't bring the table back," she says and you neck almost snaps, looking at Jeonghan's, he is so proud of himself that you almost scream. "So I'm sorry dear, your husband told me how much it meant to you but I was out of town so-"

God, he looks so proud and so full of himself, he couldn't be happier right now. God, you are so deeply in love with him. You could marry him all over again.

[BONUS SCENE ONE - THE WEDDING}

“Are we doing this for real?” You ask and the world is kinda spinning a little bit, by your side, Jeonghan holds your hand. You both stare at this little chapel, the Elton John one because you said that you would prefer to be married with don't go breaking my heart, Tiny Dancer or even Berry and the Jets as a soundtrack than any of the Elvis’s songs and of course Jeonghan listened, he listened to everything you said. What a fucker, how could you not be in love with this guy? What? Wait-

“Of course, we are doing this, we made a bet,” Jeonghan says still staring at the chapel.

“Only because we made a bet,” you say looking at him. When Jeonghan turns his head to look at you something inside you sings a bit - like a doll with something in the inside broke and jiggling inside.

“Of course darling, only because we made a bet,” Jeonghan says, holding your hand firmly, he smiles at you, and out of nowhere he is running inside the building and you follow him around because why not?

It seemed like a fucking great idea, and you both did lose the bet, even though right now you can't really think straight - how does a bet work? Can both people lose a bet at the same time? You are not totally sure but you guess Jeonghan is right, it can happen.

[BONUS SCENE TWO - BIOGRAPHY]

When Jeonghan finally opens the hotel door you almost fall in the room, but before you fall face flat on the floor Jeonghan's hands save you from breaking your nose.

“Wow, what a gentlemanly husband I have,” You say, tapping his chest.

“Sure, sure, perfect husband material right here,” Jeonghan says pointing at himself the door still open.

“You are,” you gushed, hands on his shoulders searching for some kind of balance, using these high heels shows was so wrong, but you knew at least you would be pretty in your wedding pics, and in the end, that’s all that matters - the pictures for your own autobiography that you will make for your grandchildren. You always told Jeonghan that you would make one for him too, with every single thing he gave you as a safe keep and the collection of pictures you have of him in different times of his life. You have pictures of Jeonghan with his long hair, with his short hair, the time he died it was almost white because he thought it would be so so cool and ended up hating how it fucked up his scalp. You had the material, you had the story, and you could do his biography, the funny thing now it is that his grandchildren could be yours too.

“What are you laughing at?” Jeonghan says, kneeling at your feet and taking your shoes off, wow, a life-saver.

“I just thought about grandchildren,” you squealed in a high-pitched voice that you didn’t know you had until Jeonghan’s hand found your hips.

“Grandchildren?”He asks you softly.

“The biographies,” you say and Jeonghan nods, “I was thinking about how I always pictured us together when we were gray and old in a nursing home together all that jazz, but know that I thought about it, your family will be my family so the grandchild will be the same kids, I won’t do your biography for your grandchildren I will do your biography for my grandchildren as well that changes a lot of things,”

“Like what?” He asks amused

“I don’t know if I want to tell them about the time you were sure to have gonorrhea or something like that”

“I do think we can let this story die with us,”

“wait, now that I am thinking about it like we only have one family," You say, a pouting on your lips, and Jeonghan almost melts, "that means only one visit in the nursing home because like when our family as separate entities we would have two families so two visit yours and mine now that I think about it I think we should divorce

“We are not divorcing," Jeonghan says.

“We can annul It,” you try again.

“We won't do it,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head like you are talking nonsense.

“But two visits are better than one,” You say showing him your fingers and trying to make him understand that two are indeed better than one, boys like girls even sang about this, was Jeonghan dumb?

“I won't have a family if it isn't your family,” Jeonghan says plopping down on the bed.

“Of course you can have a family,” you are sure of it Jeonghan is amazing there is nothing stopping him.

“But I don't want to,” Jeonghan whines looking at you and you get it, you finally get it.

“Damn boy you are crazy about me,” you say laughing, laying on his side.

“Now you are catching up,” Jeonghan says while his arms close around you.

“Still think two is a bigger number”

[BONUS SCENE - SHOULD WE?]

Jeonghan, your husband of three years, is eating on the kitchen counter and you can almost hear the gears in his brain turning and twisting. Sometimes, you think that maybe, Jeonghan is like a toy that he built the week prior, if you pick him up and shake him around you can hear loose parts of him rattling inside of himself.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask while opening the fridge.

“Should we go to Vegas again?” He asks taking a bit of his breakfast.

“Vegas?” you say - your head peaking and your body stretched so you can face him while the fridge door is open. 

“I was thinking we should renew our vows,” he says like he is thinking about buying lunch because he cannot bring himself to cook, “you know, I want you to actually remember our wedding.”

[alohajun]

hey so. idk if asks are still open but. you can’t end racer mingyu like that i need more please 🤗

♡ LUCKY CHARM: THE WINNING FORMULA — KIM MINGYU

f1 racer!mingyu x race engineer!fem!reader | wc : 0.8k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, f1 au, coworkers to lovers, fluff, swearing, mentions of skinship | loki's lines : y’all just enabling my f1xkpop addiction atp, now i have smth to do during the off-season until f1 starts again

“go on a date with me, lucky charm.”

your eyes widened at his confession, not having expected those exact words to leave his lips — let alone hear him say them so publicly for everyone to hear.

the pit crew exchanged knowing glances, having known it was only going to be a matter of time until mingyu had finally realized his feelings for you and asked you out.

because even they knew that there was no way he’d be so smitten with you just because of some superstitious helmet knock.

“gyu, are you being for real right now?” you uttered, still processing everything in shock. “you just got pole on one of the toughest tracks and you want to—”

“there’s no better time than the present.” mingyu cut you off, his cheesy grin widening when he saw the flabbergasted look on your face. “so, what say, lucky charm?”

the ferrari paddock burst into laughter at his optimism, knowing exactly how stubborn mingyu could get when he made a decision. they also knew how he never gave up and always got what he wanted.

“kim mingyu.” you exasperatedly sighed, shaking your head in disbelief as you pulled yourself away from his embrace. “just focus on your race tomorrow. we’ll talk after that.”

mingyu opened his mouth to argue but only grinned as he heard the rest of your words. “that’s not a no. i’ll take it as a win.” he chuckled victoriously to himself.

“how about you get us an actual win while you are at it?” you quipped teasingly, the rest of the garage laughing at the playful banter you two had.

oh, and kim mingyu definitely took those words of yours as a challenge.

as soon as the race started, mingyu took off with the perfect start, defending his position from wonwoo as they drove side by side on the first corner.

you stood by the pit wall, practically glaring holes onto the monitors as you analyzed the data coming in from mingyu’s car. “good start, gyu. let’s go on offense once you get the tires warmed up.” you spoke over the radio, keeping calm.

your heart was practically at your throat as the race neared its end. come on, gyu. don’t fuck up. you got this. you didn’t even dare to blink as you focused on mingyu’s car on the screen.

“oi, don’t worry.” mingyu’s deep voice came through the radio, almost as if he were sensing your nerves. “i got this, lucky charm. and after this, i will cash in on that date; thank you very much.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle at his confidence, rolling your eyes playfully. “yeah, whatever you say, gyu. get that win first.” you quipped teasingly.

and getting the win he did.

the garage erupted into celebrations as soon as mingyu’s car made it past the checkered flag. you let out a sigh of relief as you fell back in your seat, a soft smile on your face as you shook your head to yourself.

it wasn’t long before you saw mingyu making his way towards you, completely covered in sweat and champagne from his podium celebration. you held up a hand, stopping him from approaching you, wincing slightly as you took him in.

mingyu, however, remained unfazed. “so? that date, lucky charm?” he asked, tilting his head as an amused smirk made its way to his face.

“you are really serious about this, aren’t you?” you asked, biting back a smile as you observed the way he looked. goodness, had he always been this good-looking?

mingyu only scoffed in disbelief, as if the answer to your question was a no-brainer. “with you? i’m always serious.” he slowly took a step closer.

your cheeks flushed as you averted your gaze momentarily. “yeah, we can go on that date.” you mumbled, clearing your throat as you shook your head in mock defeat.

a surprised squeal left your lips when you felt mingyu pull you into a spontaneous hug, shuddering slightly as you made contact with his champagne-soaked race suit — which only made him hug you tighter.

your breath hitched as you looked up at him, the garage’s laughter and applause fading into silence as you looked into his eyes.

it was just like the movies, with everything fading into the background as you two just stared at each other.

“i’m not just messing around, yeah?” he spoke up, his voice low and serious, just audible enough for you to hear. “i hope you know that, y/n.”

you nodded slowly, understanding how genuine he was being. “i … i know, gyu.” you reassured him just as quietly.

mingyu’s eyes crinkled as he smiled softly, feeling as if an immense burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

“you are a damn good lucky charm, you know? i won a race, and now i won you over too.”

taglist : @kflixnet @mirxzii @woooooooosh8 @i05wook @gyuguys (to be added, please send an ask or dm!)

MASTERLISTS | TAGLIST FORM

© 2025 ALOHAJUN | PLEASE REFRAIN FROM COPYING OR REPOSTING MY WORK WITHIN OR OUTSIDE THIS SITE

[harunayuuka2060]

Minhyeok's friend: Are you seriously going to give up just because your grandmother offended them?

Minhyeok: I can't face them without feeling embarrassed.

His friend: ...

His friend: Did MC react negatively?

Minhyeok: No-

His friend: *slaps his arm*

Minhyeok: Ow- Why did you hit me?

His friend: You're being so foolish right now! Tch. Okay, I'm giving you some advice now and you better do it right, I swear to god.

Minhyeok: Y-Yes...

His friend: *breathes in* Buy some liquor.

Minhyeok: Are you crazy?

His friend: IT'S FOR THE NERVES!

Minhyeok: ...

His friend: Now, you'll invite MC for a drink. Just tell them something like, 'Can we talk?'

Minhyeok: ...

Minhyeok: And then?

His friend: You talk. Be honest. Tell them how stupid you are.

His friend: How clumsy you get when they're around.

Minhyeok: *hesitant* I'm not sure if MC will buy that.

His friend: ...

His friend: *punches his face hard*

Minhyeok: !!!

His friend: *then pulls out his phone and calls MC* *in a panicked tone*

His friend: MC! Minhyeok and I got in trouble! He's bleeding right now! Please hurry! Yes, yes! We're in (says the location).

His friend: Minhyeok? Sorry, but he can't answer right now. I think he's in a state of shock. Yes, okay, I'll wait for you here. *then hangs up*

Minhyeok: *in utter disbelief*

His friend: You'll thank me. *then leaves him to wait for MC alone*

MC: *has arrived* Minhyeok! *runs to him*

Minhyeok: MC?

MC: *sees his slightly bruised face, their eyes reflecting concern*

MC: *crouches down to check if he has other injuries*

Minhyeok: ...

MC: What happened?

Minhyeok: Uh, it's nothing...

MC: *looks sternly at him*

Minhyeok: Nothing happened, really...

MC: ...

MC: *decides to carry him up*

Minhyeok: !!!

Minhyeok: H-Hey, what are you-

MC: I know you dislike this, but you're disoriented right now.

Minhyeok: I told you I'm fine-

MC: Minhyeok Kim.

Minhyeok: !!!

MC: I can take care of you too.

Minhyeok: ...

Minhyeok: Okay.

Lucifer: Oh, you're with someone.

MC: ...

MC: How did you get in?

Lucifer: Beelzebub.

MC: ...

MC: I'm busy. I won't be able to entertain you.

Lucifer: It's fine. You know I'm not here for that.

MC: Then?

Lucifer: *glances at Minhyeok*

Minhyeok: *admiring his appearance and feeling a twinge of jealousy*

Lucifer: *looking back at MC* *smiles*

Lucifer: I'm here to apologize for kissing you earlier.

Minhyeok: ...

MC: That would be unnecessary.

Minhyeok: ...

Minhyeok: *feels saddened* They kissed?

[yparkwrites]

MR. DETECTIVE S.JY FF

Pairing: Detective Jake x Female reader (Y/N)

Content warnings: explicit content (smut), blood, murder, killing and more to be added

Word count: 27.6k

Synopsis: Jake is a known detective, as they transfered the case to his unit of a serial killer, Y/n a police rookie will arrive to find the truth about her brother's death and unbeknownst to them, the serial killer has been with them from the start.

Publish date: January 6, 2025

Comment for tags.

NOTE: LONG WAIT IS OVER IT IS FINALLY HERE. CHAPTER 1 -9 ARE NOW OUT ON WATTPAD. TUMBLR UPDATE WILL BE ONCE A WEEK.

Son of the mob P.SH FF Completed

MR. DETECTIVE S.JY FF COMPLETED

Chapter 2 & 3 will be published on Friday

© 2025 Y. PARK WRITES. All Rights Reserved.

tags: @strxwbloody @dreamiestay @fancypeacepersona @heeaxvhhoon @jakeswife @evjirvninvitnvrnvirivn @candypopinluv

CHAPTER 1

“Why did you do it?” The judge asked, as he stared into them, rage filling his eyes as he remembered everything that had happened. It wouldn’t have happened if they convicted the right person but instead, they let him get away with it. 

“Wanna know why?” He asked, rage filling him from the inside, as everyone looked at him, waiting for him to answer. “The fucking justice system is fucked up.” He uttered, as his voice shook, her face popped up in his mind. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1

“Good morning everyone!” The chief greeted, as he entered the office with a cup of coffee in his right hand. 

“Chief, the rookies have arrived.” One of the police officers announced, approaching him. 

“We only have 5 rookies?” The chief asked, as he looked at his assistant chief in disbelief. 

“Apparently the accident a few years ago affected our unit, the police academy decided to send us only five of them.” His assistant replied to him, making the chief sighed, putting down his coffee on his desk. 

“That’s not our problem, chief.” The police officer whispered, loud enough for the chief to hear as he sighed for the second time. 

“What is it?” The chief asked. 

“That rookie over there, she’s assigned to Sim Jaeyun.” He responded. 

“Sim, he doesn’t take any rookies.” The chief uttered. 

“That’s the problem, no one wants to take her, because she’s a female and she’s very young.” He explained as the chief rubbed his temple, not expecting a problem first thing in the morning. 

“Send her inside my office.” The chief said, turning around as he grabbed his coffee from the desk. 

2

“Goodmorning,” The female rookie greeted as she entered the chief’s office. 

“Goodmorning have a seat.” The chief instructed her. 

Taking a seat in front of him, she watched him carefully as he typed on his computer, waiting for him to ask her something. 

“I’m chief Lee, the chief of this police department,” Lee announced as she just looked at him, like he had said something wrong to her. He looked at her and asked, “what’s your name? And your age?”

“Y/n, Park Y/n, 21.” She replied, still looking at him. 

“You’re the youngest, and your name sounds very familiar.” Lee said as he continued typing on his computer. 

“Park Jongseong.” She uttered, as he stopped typing on his computer. “Now you’re interested, finally looking at me.” She added as she looked coldly into his eyes.

“How’d you know him?” Lee asked.

“Sim will take me, you don’t have to worry about him not taking me,” Y/n said, standing up from her seat. 

“How’d you know officer Park?” Lee asked again, as he held her arm, stopping her from leaving.

“That’s none of your concern Chief, your only concern here is if someone is taking me as a rookie to be trained.” Y/n retorted as she pulled her arm away from his grip, making him stare at her shock.

3

“I can’t believe you requested Mr. Detective to be your trainer.” Jungwon said, staring at her proudly. 

“But he doesn’t take rookies, if he says no, it’s gonna be your problem.” Officer Kim said. 

“He’s gonna take me.” Y/n uttered under her breaths, as they shook their heads. Just then yellings could be heard from outside their office unit. 

“I told you I don’t take rookies!” Jaeyun yelled as he slammed the door open of the department, startling everyone inside. He looked at everyone and said “whoever requested me to be their trainer, I won’t take you,” 

“Why won’t you take me?” Y/n asked as she stood up from her seat, everyone staring at her boldness. 

“Y/n,” he whispered, as he stared at her shock. He sighed and declared, “Fine, I’m taking her.”

4

“Told you he’s taking me.” Y/n said, as she continued eating her lunch. 

“He knows you.” Jungwon uttered, staring at her. 

“He’s been friends with my brother since childhood that’s why he knows me, he can’t resist me,” Y/n explained to Jungwon, who has been her friend since she went inside the academy. 

“That’s right,” Jaeyun said, taking a seat beside Y/n as Jungwon stared at him in shock. 

“Should I leave you two alone, so you both can have a conversation?” Jungwon asked Jaeyun, as he saw how he stared at her. 

“No, I’m just looking at her, making sure it’s really her.” Jaeyun replied, looking at Jungwon who avoided eye contact, making him chuckle at his cuteness. 

“Don’t look at him, he gets shy very easily.” Y/n said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hey, that’s mine.” Jaeyun said, as he tried taking his coffee from Y/n. 

“It’s mine now.” Y/n said, turning away from him, stopping him from taking the coffee away from her. “Oh, you’ll have to deal with the chief later.” Y/n added. 

“Why? What did you do?” He asked her, as she shrugged her shoulders as a response.

“She disrespected the chief.” Jungwon informed him, as he looked at Y/n in disbelief. 

5

“So you decided to take her.” The chief said, as they entered his office. 

“Yeah.” He replied as he took a seat in front of him.

“She knows about officer Park.” Lee informed him, that didn’t even shock him. 

“Yeah so?” He responded.

“She’s a threat to our department if she knows about Jongseong.” Lee retorted to him. 

“Heeseung, she knows about him because that’s her brother,” Jaeyun informed him as he looked at him in shock. 

“What?” He asked, not believing what he’s hearing. 

“I’m taking her because I promised to take care of her before Jay accepted the job he was offered,” Jaeyun said. 

“So you’re taking her as a rookie to take care of her?” Heeseung asked him, not understanding anything.

“Jay and I had been friends since we were children and I’ve known Y/n since she was a little kid, she would do anything to find me, she’s an angel, Jay’s job was unsuccessful, she was mad, and she knows you were the one who offered him that job, so understand that she’s gonna be like that to you.” Jaeyun explained. “I need permission, permission to take her with me, I don’t want her to stay in any dorms here.” He added.

“Do whatever you want.” Heeseung replied.

6

“So you’re really taking me?” Y/n asked as she watched him pack her clothes in her luggage. “There’s only one room in your apartment.” Y/n uttered, laying down on her bed that made a squeaky sound. 

Jaeyun didn’t reply to her. Grabbing all her belongings, he helped him carry all her heavy stuff all the way to his car. 

“You have a nice car.” Y/n uttered quietly, as she watched him drive carefully. “I can call you Jake right?” Y/n asked. 

“Call me anything you want, little one.” Jake replied as he continued to focus his visions on the road. 

“I’m not a little one anymore.” Y/n said. 

“You do look like one.” Jake said, chuckling as he saw her pouting her lips like a little kid that didn’t get the toy they wanted from their parents. 

“Shut up.” Y/n replied as Jake just chuckled at her.

Arriving at his place, he showed her around his apartment. It has one big bedroom with a big mattress. Two bathrooms, one inside the bedroom and another one on the hallway near the kitchen. It has a dining area and kitchen and also a living room.

The whole apartment is painted with light gray paint except his bedroom that is painted with black paint. 

“Where am I sleeping?” Y/n asked.

“You can take the bed. I’ll take the living room.” Jake replied as he helped her unpacked her belongings.

“Or we can share the bed.” Y/n suggested, as she looked at Jake smiling widely.

“Whatever you want, little one.” Jake replied.

“Stop calling me that.” Y/n said.

“That’s your nickname, nickname I made for you.” Jake said.

7

They both lay down on the mattress, as they decided to sleep beside each other, like before. Staring at the ceiling, Y/n sighed. 

“I heard we’re taking the serial killer case.” Y/n said.

“Yeah, I’ll be in charge of it, and since you’re my rookie, you’ll have to work with me.” Jake responded.

“Jake.” Y/n called him, turning on his side as she stared at his perfect visuals.

“Hmmm” Jake hummed.

“Did you know that Jay used to call me princess?” Y/n asked.

“Everyone knows he calls his little sister his princess, Jay loves you very much and everyone knows that too, Heeseung knows that too.” Jake said, turning around to face Y/n.

“He left. Didn’t come back.” Y/n uttered quietly as she stared at him, waiting for an answer.

“You miss him?” He asked her.

“I miss my brother everyday,” Y/n replied, sighing. 

“I miss him too, he’s my best friend after all,” Jake said. “Don’t hate Heeseung, he didn’t mean to offer him the job.” Jake added.

“I hate no one, but I’m mad that he didn’t do anything nor anyone in that department to help him.” Y/n said, turning around, her back facing him.

[wildestdreamsblog]

Latibule VII

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader (Mafia/Detective AU)

Summary: In which you didn’t know who he truly was- until it was too late. Or in which he found heaven in you.

Warnings: Secret Identity, Yandere behavior, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Violence, Mention of death, Disability, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: Here is a gift. Happy birthday to me :> we are nearing the end of season 1! Tysm for all the support ✨

Masterlist, Latibule VI

“Do you have no sense of self-preservation? Are you suicidal? Are you tired of you life? Or are you just fucking naive?”

You blinked owlishly at his tirade. You almost couldn’t keep up with the onslaught of words he was emphasizing to you, nor were you aware that this man could rap when he was mad. “Excuse me?”

“You’re letting a strange man into our house!” He hissed whilst pointing at the man sitting calmly on the sofa with his legs crossed and the tea cup perfectly balanced on his knee as he watched the two of you bickered like an old couple. To be honest, Kim Seokjin was entertained. Hell, this was the most emotion he saw on Yoongi and he couldn’t wait to tell the rest of their brothers that the fearless and emotionless mafia leader was a wreck because he couldn’t find you.

“And?” You snapped back at him, not seeing why he was this infuriated.

“And?” He scoffed in utter disbelief before stepping near you imposingly, his chest almost touching yours. “And what if he hurts you? What if he’s a bad person? What then?”

“He needs help-“

“And he could be fucking faking it!” He shouted with so much emotion that you could see the veins on his neck protruding. He was still not over the panic he felt when he thought he lost you. He could still feel his fucking heart, which he originally thought was long dead, beat so fast it almost bursted from its cage when you weren’t there. Not even a barrel of a gun could make him panic like that. Not even death could make him as terrified as he was when he thought you left him.

You raised your brows at him before glancing at the man. You were embarrassed that Suga was talking as though the man wasn’t physically there. It was as though he didn’t care if he heard or if he offended anyone. Nope. But you thought that he was being too much. Everyone deserved a chance, right? “Aren’t you being a hypocrite? I didn’t know you then and I still let you in.”

And that made him paused because for all intents and purposes, he was the man you should have never let in. He was the most dangerous man out there. You should have left him to perish that night. You didn’t know him, and yet you saved him. You should have let fate ran its course because now, it was you who couldn’t run.

“…That’s different.”

“How so?!”

“I would never hurt you!”

“Why?!”

“Because you are important to me!”

Well.

Right then and there, as the two of you breathed hard after screaming at each other, silence reined in. All you could hear was that and someone who sounded like he was choking on his tea. You didn’t know what to make of the fact that he just told you, no, he screamed at you, that you were important to him. And you sure as hell could no longer ignore that you felt something for this man.

And it unnerved you.

It displaced you.

It terrified you that the truth was staring right at you with his dark eyes burning with something you were scared to name. It was time to face the music.

You had irrevocably fallen for him.

Yet before you could opened your mouth, he broke eye contact with you and pointed at the man who was watching the two of you with satisfaction in his eyes. “And you, follow me.”

---

Kim Seokjin remained smiling as Min Yoongi glared at him with faux hatred. He stood there with his arms crossed in front of him and perhaps, a lesser man would have ran once Yoongi looked at them this way. But not him. For heaven’s sake, he grew up with the mafia leader. He was there when the man just wouldn’t say a word for the whole fucking year until Seokjin was in danger.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

He smiled at him, “I was looking for my cat.”

“What cat?! You hate cats!” He hissed before taking a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm himself. “You know what- don’t answer that. Fuck, who else knows I’m alive?” Yoongi thought that if anyone other than Jimin and Jin knew, then he had to leave this instant. He could not and would not put you in danger’s harm. No. He would paint this whole town red if it meant keeping you safe.

“Only Jimin and I,” Jin answer somberly, his face losing its initial playfulness as he regarded Yoongi. “I know better than to tell the maknaes. They are devastated that you had joined satan and who knows what the three of them would do when they know that you’re still breathing?”

“Namjoon?”

Jin shrugged, “Haven’t seen him much. Probably still busy convincing his secretary not to resign. I mean- seriously, for someone so smart he could be so dense. It’s so obvious that he has feelings for her-“

“Hoseok?”

He paused before racking his brain when he last saw him. The seven of them usually see each other at least weekly. So…what happened to him? “I haven’t spoken to him.”

Yoongi nodded as he turned to look at the house, at what he now considered as his safe haven. The two of them were talking outside and by now, you probably realized that he knew Seokjin. “Good. There’s a mole in our organization, hyung. I cannot trust anyone.”

“I understand,” Jin murmured, following where Yoongi seemed to be looking at. “Yoongi?”

“Yes?”

And then he answered him with a sucker punch.

Seokjin was now brimming with satisfaction and smiling widely as he watched with much content as Yoongi doubled over from the force. He was clutching his stomach as he looked up and sneered at him. “You asshole! And you call yourself a fucking doctor?”

He chuckled before clapping Yoongi’s back. “You deserve it. Don’t ever make me think that you descended to hell and then come back alive, okay?”

And despite Jin choosing the less violent life and becoming a doctor, he remained to still be one of the most dangerous man among the seven. How could he not when he was raised to be the king of the underworld? How could he not when he learned how to kill a man before he could even properly talk? How could he not when he grew up too soon before his body even left his boyhood?

Notwithstanding the fact that he worded it so politely, Yoongi knew enough to decipher that this was not a request. This was an order. See, Seokjin’s face was deceiving. His handsome face, the innocent and playful air he carried, the way he presented himself to the society- they were all a ruse. Kim Seokjin was simply the face of duplicity.

Yoongi glared at him before nodding his head.

---

You stared at the two men standing in front of you with so much contrast on their expressions- one was smiling so widely and the other was frowning as though everything was an imposition to him. You didn’t have to specify which was which.

“You found your cat,” you repeated with unbridled disbelief in your tone. Jin nodded his head convincingly while Yoongi looked like he was long done with this conversation.

“So where is the cat?”

“It’s…out there.”

“You’re taking it home, right?”

His lips was tilted to the side as he regarded you. You thought that this man looked as though he knew something you didn’t and it was starting to annoy you. “You know what, I think it’s happier here.”

“You can’t just leave your cat here, mister!”

And he just shrugged at your outburst before throwing his arm around the sulking Suga. “I can when it’s happier here. Anyway! What’s for dinner?”

He sure did make himself at home, you thought as you eyed him ate with gusto. On the other hand, Suga was whining beside you.

“You’re an unwelcome guest in our house. Hurry up and leave.”

“So my cat,” Jin suddenly quipped up, “was the cutest kitten. We grew up together. I grew up handsome and he grew up quite ugly, though.”

Yoongi suddenly banged his fist on the table, creating quite a disturbance. “Excuse me-“

“I still remember when my father brought him home. His…old family was not good. When they died, my father adopted him. I was an only child and then suddenly, I had a brother who never spoke for a whole year until well- my father almost beat me up to death. That cat saved me,” he pondered, his eyes focused on yours. You initially thought that this man looked angelic, yet now that he was looking at you with a familiar, swirling darkness and madness in his eyes, you were almost quite sure that he was not as gentle and good as you perceived him to be. And the way he was telling you his past made it seemed as though you were entering into a world of theirs, one that you couldn’t retreat from.

“I loathed how I was not able to save him from a darker world with my family. I wanted to tell him to leave and run far from my family back then, to leave the worse hell imaginable, but I was too powerless. But I see now that this is a new chance.”

“Stop, hyung-“

“Sit down,” You cut Suga off, pushing him back to his seat with one hand and a glare, to which he complied angrily. You turned to the mysterious man. “What do you mean?”

“What I’m saying is my cat is happier with his new owner. In fact, this is the most content and at peace I have ever seen him. I’m saying that I’m not taking him home.”

---

“Why are you making me walk you to your car?!” Yoongi hissed at Jin as the older man dragged him out to where he parked his car.

“Because hyung missed you,” he replied indulgently before throwing his arm around Yoongi’s shoulder. The night in this town was tranquil and quiet, Jin noted. This was so different to where they grew up. In their world, night was when men like Yoongi came alive. In their world, quietness was not synonymous to peace. To them, it was the calm before the storm.

“She’s good for you. Give me a niece or nephew right this instant.”

Yoongi threw his arm away from him as though in disgust, his dark hair falling on his face. He pushed his only hyung away from him. “Are you insane? Doctors like you cannot lose their minds! What brought this on? If you’re craving a child, make one of your own! Or better yet, ask Jungkook! He’s the only one who has a fucking wife among us!”

Jin looked at Yoongi with amusement in his eyes. Between them all, Yoongi was the most unemotionally available person. And really, he didn’t blame him. After all, he suffered from his parents and was given a chance to have a normal family…only that his bastard and useless excuse of a father was the one who adopted the poor Yoongi. It was not unimaginable why Yoongi couldn’t understand the obvious.

“Yoongi, do you know that you look at her like she could say the sky is pink and you would believe her?”

Yoongi scoffed before looking at him as though he was making no sense. “Hyung, are you on drugs? What are you trying to say? The sky is very clearly purple-“

“What the fuck- are you color blind? You know what? Never mind. I always knew there was something very wrong with you. What I was trying to say is that you look at her like she’s everything you could ever want,” he explained quickly, his voice increasing in apparent irritation at Yoongi’s obliviousness. For heaven’s sake, this was the first time he saw him with his demons at peace. This was the first time he saw him with no blood thirst simmering in his eyes.

Yoongi regarded him for a moment too long before opening his mouth to say yet another nonsense. “Hyung, that’s slander. You will hear from my lawyer.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically, “I always hear from Kim Namjoon.”

You were ready, you told yourself.

You expected this and you had been preparing yourself for when he finally left you. You weren’t foolish enough to think that he would want to stay when his brother came to get him. You knew despite what that man said, Suga would want to go back to his old life.

Why would he want to stay with you, you thought. You were a liability.

You would soon be a liability.

And now as you stood in the middle of the dark living room, with the sofa he had been sleeping on for months unmade with blanket thrown carelessly on the backrest of the sofa, your heart broke. You had always thought you were already acquainted with loneliness when you whole family perished. You thought you were used with loneliness.

But this was different.

This was a different kind of ache, one that you were sure you would never get over for the rest of your life. You were used to the silence, but heavens, the silence of not having him around was so fucking loud that you could not ignore it despite your best efforts. The space he occupied was too big that not having him here felt like a big gap…like something was clearly missing.

Yet, he returned.

The front door opened quietly, the moonlight seeping from the opened door. You jumped when he called for you, when he called you his angel.

“I-I thought you were leaving,” you confessed as you looked up to him. The shadows made him looked more sinister, and you would have been terrified had you not known him. You would have been scared had you not known how gentle he could be, how playful and soft he could be despite his grumpiness. You would have ran to the hills had you not known how carefully and softly he held your hand everyday as the two of you walked back to your home.

You would have been screaming for help had you not known how he looked at you with fondness in his eyes on mornings where you two sipped your coffee before leaving for work.

His silence, though, was unnerving. He stepped closer to you, so close that you had nowhere else to go but to him.

“Do you wish for me to leave?” He whispered as he caressed your face. He was never religious, but God, please let her say no, he prayed to whoever was willing to listen to him. “Because if you do, I will. I will walk out of that door this instant. You will never have to see or hear from me ever again.”

And he meant it. You were the only one he was willing to follow. You were the only one he would willingly marched to hell for. You were the first and only, he thought. “You only need to say a word and I will follow,” he stated with so much truth that you could do nothing but believe every word he said.

But your thoughts haunted you. You conscience was screaming too loud for you to let him go while you still could, to not subject him to misery with you. He was giving you an out and all the signs told you to let him go.

You should...right?

Right.

Slowly, you stepped back. His hands falling limply on his sides as he watched you took a step farther away from him, and all his demons told him that this was wrong. All his evilness told him that you shouldn't be far from him. But you were his angel. As much as it displaced him to have you far, he had to respect your wish.

Your silence was taken as an answer. Suga nodded his head in understanding as he watched you closed your bedroom door. As soon as you did, you knew you committed the worst mistake in your life. Here was a good thing. Here stood a magical thing that made you feel, and in your cowardice you turned your back on him.

Fuck it, you were exhausted of living as though you were in a borrowed time.

You wanted to truly live. You wanted to truly exist before this all went away.

Without any thought, you opened your door, prepared to run for him should he have left already.

Yet, what you saw was him standing in front of your door as though he was waiting, patiently waiting for you to come back to him. And you did.

“Stay,” you ordered as you clutched his biceps, looking up at his dark eyes, willing for him to see what you already accepted: you loved him.

Suga smiled, resting his forehead on yours. “I will, Angel,” he promised.

And he sealed it with a kiss.

Tip Jar Latibule VIII

[carnivorousyandeere]

Safely Home

You almost couldn’t believe it.

You’d scored not one, not two, but three dates with the handsome, charming, polite, well-off Doctor Kim Dae-hyun. He was just so perfect that it rattled your nerves a little.

CW: date interrupted by supervillain attack, kidnapping, spiked drink, drugging, repeated trauma, near-death situations, ptsd, hypervigilance, survivor’s guilt, implications of suicidal ideation?

Your third date started off like the first two, full of good food and more charming anecdotes from Dae-hyun. But the air felt thick, and your drink tasted just a little more bitter than it should’ve. You frowned, swirling the glass thoughtfully. Dae-hyun reaches across the table, holding your hand, and his mouth opens to speak—

Boom.

Glass shards rain across the table, stinging your skin. Dae-Hyun grabs your hand. You run.

Voices ring out, screams and explosions fill the air. A villain attack. Not exactly uncommon where you live, but not an everyday occurrence either. You’ve only ever experienced one villain attack before. Your ears ring as Dae-hyun pulls you through the back door of the restaurant, out into an alleyway, through another alleyway, to a surprisingly empty parking garage.

Dae-hyun stills, looking around, breath short from running, and laughs. Exuberant, exhilarated, triumphant. Distantly, you wonder why— nobody should laugh at a time like this, right? But maybe it’s disbelief and relief of surviving when you shouldn’t have. That thrill of realizing how truly and deeply alive you are. He seems to notice how quiet, how still you are, his laughter fading into a softer sigh as he grasps your hands tighter and pulls you closer.

Your eyes and throat sting as you struggle to breathe. You feel you ought to be crying, shuddering— but your eyes are dry. All you feel is tired. So horribly, awfully tired. Dae-hyun tucks your head into his shoulder with another soft sigh, wrapping his arms around you and gently swaying back and forth.

“You’re okay. You’re safe now.”

The soft amusement in his voice clashes violently with your understanding of the world. Nowhere is safe. He should know that as well as you. A moment of hatred crawls like bile up the back of your throat. You stifle it down, trying to rationalize— he’s only being kind, trying to comfort you, it doesn’t matter that what he’s saying is untrue—

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

His words puff against the shell of your ear. Disgust crawls down your spine at the humid warmth, the utter amusement still filling his voice. It’s not right, it’s not true, and even as your mind struggles with the weight of what carnage you’ve just escaped, all you can think is that there must be something deeply wrong with the man whose embrace you’re now trying to wriggle out of.

“We almost died back there.” Your voice is distant, hollow. Maybe you are dead. A piece of you anyway, just like the first time you’d been caught in a villain attack. How many pieces of yourself did you have left? Did you deserve to call yourself dead when other people’s families had to hold real funerals? You were still breathing, what right did you have—?

Dae-hyun laughs again. The sound sends your train of thought careening to a crashing halt, mangled metal filling your mind’s eye and acrid smoke filling your nose just like it had at the restaurant this time and the time before that—

Dae-hyun wipes away a humored tear, pulling back to hold you by the shoulders and look at your face. “Yeobo, we were never in any danger! I paid them specifically not to injure either of us…” His tone darkens, thumb swiping over a cut on your cheek. “Though I suppose they failed, and I’ll have to take a cut from them…”

He rocks back on his heels, sucking air in through his teeth and whistling it out. “Still, it’s nothing some of my healing gel can’t soothe~”

A sob catches in your throat as the realization hits. Of course he could laugh so carelessly— he was the real villain. Your exhausted body slumps against him, limbs unnaturally heavy, and he holds you close once more.

“Aww, there’s no need for tears,” Dae-hyun croons, “you’ll be safe with me! I promise.”

“They’ll… somebody will come looking for me…”

Dae-hyun giggles harder, dragging you further into the parking garage, where a van is waiting. “Why would they? You and I died back there, after all~”

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 38

Synopsis : Reader listen to the leaked track in which Em mentions her.

Tags : angst

You stared at Marshall for a couple of seconds, in complete and utter disbelief. He seemed terrified. You had seen this look more often that you liked to admit. The very look that said he was guilty of something he definitely wasn’t proud of. You had first seen it the you fount out about him sending armed guys to threaten the rapper who had referred to you in a diss track, when he had admitted to threatening Josh, when you overheard Tracy mentioning blowing him in London… He stared at you, nervously biting his lip, not saying a word.

- Is it true ? You asked. Did-did you really name-drop me on a track ?

- I… It wasn’t supposed to be heard, he said. By anyone. Ever.

- What track is it ?

- Doesn’t matter, he said. Babe, I swear to God, it doesn’t matter. I… I have to call my team. We need to get that shit removed.

- You really are stupid, aren’t you ?! Jamal asked with a sardonic laugh. It dropped last night. It’s been listened to millions of times, reposted everywhere.

- I want to listen to it, you said.

- No you don’t, they both said at the same time.

- If my name is mentioned on a stupid track, I deserve to know ! You argued.

- Babe, please don’t, Marshall pleaded. Please.

- Don’t ‘Babe’ me, right now, you said. Jamal, give me your phone. I want to listen to it.

- Y/N, no… I hate to agree with this motherfucker, but… Don’t listen to this shit, Jamal said.

- That motherfucker’s still your boss, Marshall groaned. You better-

- Wait until I shove a drum machine up your ass, your friend shot back.

They stared at each other, looking as if they were about to hit each other. You didn’t care for either of their arguments. You didn’t need any of these grow men babying you and you deserved to listen to this damn song. You sighed and ran up the stairs to grab your phone. If the track had already gone viral, you’d find it pretty easily. As soon as you started to walk, they both followed you and tried to argue but you slammed the bedroom door in their faces and locked it behind you. You heard them yell at each other and sighed.

- Y/N, come back, Jamal said.

- Baby, open the door, please, Marshall asked.

You sighed and simply started to play the song. As soon as the first notes started playing, you heard complete silence. For an agonizing four minutes, you had to listen to your boyfriend, the man you loved, who said he’d always have your back, assassinate your character. You felt complete disgust, similar to the first time you had heard « Kim ». It wasn’t that the song was bad - on a technical and lyrical level, it was probably excellent - but knowing that these lyrics were about an actual person, about you, made you feel sick. He was describing nothing less than a torture scene, rapping about sequestering you in order to avoid a breakup, painting a scene in which he hurt you physically, going as far as impregnating you and making you abort with a butcher’s knife. The whole thing was horrendous and you thought you were about to faint when you heard your name, your actual name. It was impossible. It couldn’t be. This had to be some sort of nightmare. To make it worse, you had the urge to check the Internet’s reaction. Everyone seemed to be out there, celebrating « Eminem going back to his Shady era » or whatever that was. A few people seemed shocked but, in majority, fans seemed to be here for it. To add to the nightmare, people were linking the name in the song - yours - to the pictures that had leaked a year ago. The pictures of you in lingerie, that the Internet seemed to have forgotten - was back. It made you sick to your stomach. You felt vulnerable, like a prey. Your face, your name, your body were out there for people to make fun of. You were starting to feel dizzy so you laid on the bed, trying to breathe. You kept on listening to the song, hoping to hear another name than yours. Any other name. But each and every time, it was your name that came up. You heard the guys knock on the door, begging you to open. After a couple of minutes, you shakily opened, tears streaming down your face.

- I’m so sorry, Marshall said as he tried to pull you in his arms. Baby, I am so, so sorry…

- DO NOT TOUCH ME ! You screamed as you pushed him away.

- Baby, le-let’s talk, he begged. Please, Y/N. You have to know it-

- Tell me it’s a fake, you pleaded. Please tell me it’s AI or something.

- I’m so sorry, he said.

- Please tell me you didn’t write this, you continued. That you didn’t mention my name.

- Y/N, I- I didn’t mean to, I swear, he said.

- You didn’t mean what ?! You asked as you screamed. You didn’t mean to make a beat ? Didn’t mean to write the lyrics and then take the time to record the whole thing ?!?!?!

Your chest was heaving and you were full-on bowling. Marshall was standing in front of you, too close for comfort. He extended an arm to reach for you but you slapped his hand away as soon as he tried to touch you.

- Touch her again and I’m throwing you out the window, Jamal threatened.

- Fuck, Marshall said. Talk to me, Y/N. Please talk to me. Please look at me.

- I… I need to leave, you said.

You started running down the stairs and opened the door. You were in your pajamas, barefoot but at least you got some fresh air in your lungs. The skin on your face was burning, so were your eyes. You tried to focus on the air filling your lungs, trying to regain some composure. After a couple of minutes, you felt a had on your shoulder and immediately recognized Jamal’s.

- Hey sis, he said sheepishly. You holdin’ up ?

- I can’t believe he did this, you said. Have you heard that track ?!

- I have, he said. That’s why I came.

- That’s the most disgusting track I have ever heard, you replied. He… He fucking name-dropped me. And all these comments online…

- I know, Jamal said. I know.

- It’s vile. It’s disgusting. It’s… It can’t be true.

- I know, he simply repeated.

You started crying again and he engulfed you in a big bear hug. You had been hurt before, but no pain compared to this. You felt betrayed and humiliated. You kept on crying in Jamal’s arms, still not believing the man you loved had done this.

- Get in the car, Jamal said.

- Why ? Where are we going ? You asked.

- Home, he said. You really want to stay here ? With him ? After he did that ?

- I guess not, you shrugged. Wait… I have to take some clothes with me.

- Get in the car, I’m taking care of it, he said.

He opened the car and you sat in the passenger seat while he got back to the house. A few minutes later, you heard him come out of it, arguing with Marshall.

- Let me talk to her, he begged. I can explain.

- She doesn’t want to talk to you, man, your friend said. Leave her alone or I swear to God I will end you.

- Jamal, please, he pleaded. You know I would never hurt her. You know I love her.

- What I know is that you used one of my fucking beats to rap about torturing my fucking sister ! Jamal roared.

Your friend got in the car and drove you to his house, where Talia greeted you with a long hug. The three of you sat at the kitchen table and they encouraged you to eat some breakfast while you discussed the horrendous track.

MARSHALL’S POV

He didn’t hear of Y/N for a whole week. In the meantime, he heard from a lot of people, though. A few hours after she left the house in Jamal’s car, he got a phone call from Paul, who chastised him as if he were a teenager. The manager came to visit him and they sat in the living room, in order to work things out, on Paul’s insistence. As far as he was concerned, he only cared about Y/N and how he could get her to talk to him. As soon as he arrived, Paul examined his face.

- Did she hit you ?! He asked with a hint of surprise. Wouldn’t have thought she’d be this strong..

- Jamal did, he replied curtly.

- You might be lucky, then, Paul said. Is Y/N here ?

- Left with him, he mumbled.

- Never thought I’d say that, but I’m actually grateful she didn’t sign the NDA or put the addendum she talked about, Paul commented. Might have taken you to the cleaners…

- Paul, no offense, but I don’t give a fuck, Marshall said. My girlfriend left and won’t answer my calls. For all I care, she can take all of my money and full ownership of the label.

- Thank God It’s not happening, Paul groaned. I think we should talk about it, though. Because you seem to have set the Internet on fire.

- I don’t know what happened ! He finally snapped. We argued, I went to the basement studio and recorded that shit out of spite, because I was fucking pissed and scared after an argument. I have no fucking idea how this shit leaked !

- I’m sure we can find someone who can trace the leak, Paul said. But we have other issues. I have people calling me asking for statements from you. The Internet is truly ablaze. That’s some shock value right here.

- You say that as if it were a good thing, Marshall commented.

- If there’s someone who can make something good out of it, it’s you, the managed pointed out. It’s a leak but we might use it to our advantage. Slim Shady being back again. Maybe there’s an album concept…

- I don’t care about Shady, I want Y/N, Marshall roared. And I want the head of whoever leaked that shit ! I’m not using it to my advantage, I’m not promoting it and I’m not giving anyone a fucking statement !

They discussed for about an hour. Paul was a long-time friend and understanding of the situation. He knew more than anyone that Marshall was prone to using recording as a cathartic exercise and that some songs were not meant to be shared. In the past, they’d had to deal with leaks and, though each one had been a colossal pain in their asses, none was as bad as this one. Leaks were usually bad for business but, so far, none of them had destroyed his personal life. This one might as well do the trick, though. He had recorded it right after their argument, when Y/N would not speak to him and it was nothing but the result of his mind going to the darkest of places. Something shameful, using words to convey anger instead of sadness and fright. In a way, this was no different from the Kim track : him using violence on a track in order to express his obsession for the person he loved the most.

- So we agree, no statement ? Paul asked. No promotion ?

- If we put out anything, that should be a public apology to Y/N, Marshall said. I went on Twitter quickly… Have you seen that shit ?! Her picture, her name, they’re fucking everywhere and it’s my fault. I fucked up.

- At least, when you rapped about killing Kim, there was no social media, the manager agreed. Look, if that’s what you want, we can put a statement. I should warn you it might be pretty damaging, because a lot of people might not take kindly to you backtracking on something like this, but if you feel like we have to do this… We will.

- Really ? You’re not suggesting that we feed Y/N to the wolves ? Marshall asked sarcastically.

- I know I’ve been hard on you about your relationship with her, Paul said. But I also know that you usually put in your best work when she’s around. As your manager, I don’t think it would be strategic to publicly apologize to her. But as your friend, I want you to be happy. And I know she’s turned you into a better person. The whole team does.

- Thanks man, he replied.

They were interrupted by the noise of the front door opening. He quickly jumped from the couch, hoping to see Y/N coming home, and that he would finally be able to talk to her. Instead, he was met with Hailie’s angry gaze.

- Hay, he said. What are you doing here ?

- What do you think I’m doing here, Dad ? She asked. I’ve come to ask you for an explanation. Stevie and Alaina are on the way too.

- I take it that it’s about the track…? He asked.

- Of course it’s about the track ! She almost yelled. I can’t believe you did that !

- It’s a leak, he tried to explain. It wasn’t meant to come out or be heard by anyone. Ever.

- Still, she said. Y/N is a mess. She’s being harassed on social media, everyone’s coming for her…

- You talked to her ?! He asked.

- Yes, I called her, his daughter explained.

- She won’t take my calls, he said.

- Shocker, Dad, she said. Jesus, I wonder why she wouldn’t want to take a call from someone who recorded a song about torturing her…

- I know I fucked up, he said. I don’t know what to do…

- I can’t help you here, Dad, Hailie shrugged. She specifically told me she doesn’t want to speak to you.

He nodded. In the grand scheme of things, he could see why Y/N wouldn’t talk to him. Hell, if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn’t want to talk either. He looked at Paul, who was still sitting in the living room.

- I think we should put out that statement, he simply said.

- I’ll call the publicist right away and have him draft something, Paul replied.

- I want to approve it first, alright ?

- Of course, Paul said.

The manager said his goodbyes and promised to get back to him as soon as possible. Stevie and Alaina arrived and he was met with some sort of intervention which, really, was his three daughters chastising him. He wouldn’t expect them to support him blindly, they were old enough to have a mind of their own, but he was a bit shocked by the intensity of their reaction. Overall, there was a lot of screaming and shouting at him, pointing out how inappropriate the whole thing was.

- It was bad enough when you rapped about killing Mom, Alaina said. But Y/N is our age. You’re literally slandering someone who’s old enough to be our sister !

- I know, he said, but you girls know it’s just fiction, right ? I would never actually do these things. Half of my tracks are fictional.

- It’s not the issue, Dad ! Stevie argued. The issue is that she’s our age, being attacked by a grown ass man who could be her Dad. And that the fans are siding with him ! She didn’t ask for anything !

- I know, he said. Believe me, I know… I just… With everything that went down with your Mom, I have learned lessons, you know ? I never would have put out this track. I know how much it hurt her and I wouldn’t wish the same thing on Y/N. It wasn’t meant to be heard. It’s just me, taking things too far. Like a diary.

- Except that someone accessed that diary and leaked it, and now she’s paying the price, Hailie said.

- … Yeah, he said. I don’t know what to do.

It had been more than twelve hours since Y/N had left and he still hadn’t heard from her. And, as it was to be expected, neither Jamal nor Talia would pick up the phone either. He buried his face in his hands. He had fucked up, he knew it. But he was merely trying to let his anger out in the only way he knew how. The last thing he had wanted when he made that stupid track was for anyone to hear it, let alone enjoy it. Knowing that some fans were praising his writing on this one had nothing pleasant.

- Honestly, Dad, this is the most disgusting song you ever put out, Hailie continued.

- Agreed, he said. I don’t know what to do, girls. I don’t want to lose her. I know I deserve to, but I can’t.

After a couple of hours of discussion, his daughters ended up leaving. They were still clearly mad at him, just like everyone else seemed to be. The day after, he got a call from Dre. His mentor and friend sounded genuinely concerned. The leaked track was typically something he would have told him to shelf and never put out.

- You went too far with this one, Dre said. I’ve heard you go hard on some shit but that was… nasty.

- I know, Marshall replied. Believe me, I know… But it’s a leak, you know ?

- That’s what I heard, Dre replied. How is your girl doing ?

- I wish I knew, he said.

Dre wasn’t the only friend and collaborator who was concerned. Even Porter and Royce talked to him about the lyrics and how they went too far. He’d heard that so many times that he almost snapped at them but, really, he couldn’t really blame them. He was the only one to blame and he knew it. They also told him that Jamal was livid, threatening to come and destroy the entire studio, and they had to talk him out of it. His friends were disappointed in him, Y/N wouldn’t talk to him and even his daughters didn’t seem to want to be associated with him at the moment. It seemed like everything was falling apart. He was truly disgusted with himself. That’s when he decided to put out a statement, speaking in his own name. It was a rather short message, posted on his social media account, apologizing for the shocking lyrics, explaining that the track was not meant to be shared and calling for everyone to stop harassing his partner, whom he had made the mistake of name-dropping. He also apologized for using Jamal’s beat, stating that it was originally meant for another track whose release was postponed. He was not used to public apologies but this one might be overdue. And perhaps it would get Y/N to talk to him. However, in the following days, he still didn’t get any news from her. He tried to go to Talia and Jamal’s to talk to her but he was met with an angry Talia who refused to let him see his girlfriend and threatened to call the cops on him for harassment. He resorted to sending flowers and letters to Y/N, begging her to at least let him talk to her, even on the phone. One evening, almost a week after the track leaked, he got a call from Talia’s phone.

- Talia ? He asked. What’s up ? How is she ?

- It’s me, he heard Y/N say.

- Thank God, he said. How… How are you ?

- How would you expect me to feel… ?

- Right, he said. I’m… Thanks for calling me.

- You know, for someone who made fun of Josh for buying out every flower shop in town, you sure are filling the house with a lot of bouquets, she commented. I guess I’m calling because I’m afraid there won’t be any flowers left in Michigan by next week if we keep this going.

- Jewelers are next on the list, he said sarcastically.

- You know, you could spend all the money in the world, it wouldn’t make things better, Marshall, Y/N said.

- I know, he said. Believe me, I know. I guess I just wanted a chance to apologize, tell you what really happened. You have no idea how sorry I am.

- I believe I do, she said with a sarcastic laugh. Every one of the fifty bouquets you’ve sent contains a note saying how sorry you are.

- Can you come home ? He asked. So we can talk ?

- I would, but for one, I’d be afraid of being held up against my will and, two, Simon is coming over for diner tonight, she replied.

- Simon… Your ex, Simon ?! He asked.

[midmourn]

in every universe

♡ nct dream ﹒ gender neutral!reader genre fluff, angst, slice of life, suggestive cw suggestive words, brief mention of skz seungmin note soulmate au with dream 😈 mark: name on wrist renjun: anything on your sm’s skin shows up on yours jeno: first words on wrist haechan: red string of fate jaemin: share dreams chenle: timer on wrist jisung: color blind until you meet your sm. ( library )

mark is such a generic, common name that when you first realized it, you thought you’d never find the right mark. so when mark first introduces himself to you, you hesitate, wondering if he’s the one— but no, it can’t be. mark is too handsome, too sweet, too funny to be fated with you. it doesn’t matter that you feel all warm and fuzzy when he smiles at you. you can still have crushes, you just shouldn’t act on them. this is probably the only time you’ll see mark, anyway. it’s only when you tell him your name, his eyes widen in disbelief and he repeats your name in a breathy tone, “i … that’s crazy, that’s the name on my wrist.” when you don’t say anything, staring at him with wide eyes, he stares back and blinks. “oh. holy shit—”

renjun is embarrassingly desperate to show your admirers that you’re his soulmate. so desperate that he writes RENJUN on his forehead. and when he gets a call from you only a few minutes later, he smiles to himself, looking up at his reflection in the mirror and answering the call. you don’t even let him speak, “oh you’re so lucky i didn’t leave the house without looking at myself in the mirror! wash it off, now.” renjun laughs, leaning back in his desk chair, “do you think those guys will back off now?” there’s a silence on the other line before you speak, the eye roll so evident in your tone, “you really wrote your name on me so they’d stop flirting with me?” he hears shuffling on your end before your voice is clear again, smugly telling him, “go look in the mirror.” his cheeks flush when he sees all of the hearts with your name in them. he knows you think this is a way of getting back to him, but he likes the idea of other people just being able to tell he’s yours and you’re his.

“you could crack an egg on your abs” were singlehandedly the most flattering yet embarrassing words to have on jeno’s wrist. so just imagine having it come out of your mouth and only realizing it a split second later, clamping your hand over your mouth. did you really just say that? your disbelief grows when jeno then says all too casually, “think you could get off on them, too?” your mouth drops open in shock, cheeks flushing red as he stares back at you, equally surprised at the words coming from his mouth. “i—” he goes to apologize when your shoulders start to shake from laughter, putting your hand over your mouth. “oh, you’re never going to live this down.” jeno slowly joins in with your laughter, eyes scrunching as he stares at you. yeah, he thinks he could live with that.

as haechan pulls the red string down lightly, it bounces back up, making him jump in shock. it’s tied to his pinky, and he follows it, dodging students as he tries to find where it leads to. or rather, who. he’s only ever heard of stories of soulmate marks being the red string of fate. as the string gets shorter, he hears familiar laughter and he smiles involuntarily, hope rising in him. if he could hear you, that meant you’d be close by … maybe it was you? he quickens his pace and his eyes raise when he gets towards the end of the string, following up the hand it belongs to. to his delight and also utter disappointment, the string was also tied to your pinky. the same pinky that was interlocked with kim seungmin’s. as you look up to make eye contact with him, your brows furrow at the look of complete heartbreak on his face. “haechan? what’s wrong?” your hand falls from seungmin’s as you stand up, but haechan takes a step back. your face falls. haechan winces at the look, mustering up the courage to force a smile and say, “nothing. i just remembered there’s a math test tomorrow.”

jaemin’s always eager to fall asleep, and there’s no question why on when everyone else realizes what his soulmate mark is. for as long as he could remember, you were always the center of his dreams. he didn’t know your name, or where you lived, but he knew everything else about you. but he wanted more— to be able to hold you in real life, show you off. but every time he tried telling you something about his personal life, he was rudely interrupted by waking up. “baby,” his hand stops right before he can caress your hair and you swallow roughly, eyes blinking rapidly as you look up. you’re surrounded by your childhood home, but he doesn’t know that. “i know we’ll meet one day, why would fate give us to each other but never have us be with one another?” you don’t tell him that you’re uncertain of that. it’s been years, and you have yet to come across each other in person. you have to try again, “… look, my name is—” you start to say the first syllable of your name, but then you blink and you’re awake, staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom. you promptly turn around and scream in your pillow. why does the universe hate you?

two minutes. this was the worst two minutes of your life. you had been waiting since you were eighteen for this moment, and time couldn’t get any slower. you wonder how you’ll meet your soulmate? maybe a cute meet like bumping into one another? he’ll think you’re cute and come up to you? as you’re aimlessly wandering the crowded mall, you fail to watch where you’re going and bump into another body. your heart stops, realizing as you look up, and there in front of you, holding your arm so you don’t stumble back into someone else, is your soulmate. you hear the beep of the timer, meaning it’s at zero. you blink, “um. hi.” he stifles a chuckle, “hey, i’m chenle.” his friend, beside him, looks between the two of you before at something in the distance, “huh, isn’t this awkward? you were going to talk to that one girl by the panda express—” your soulmate quickly elbows his friend in the ribs sharply, still smiling at you and saying through gritted teeth, “shut up.” he then says to you and your amused raised eyebrows, “you were being blocked by other people, i didn’t get to see you until now.” you tilt your head, heading around him, knowing he’d follow, “uh-huh, right.” “no, seriously! i—”

all you saw was in black and white. from your birth til the moment you met your soulmate, you couldn’t see colors. maybe you got lucky and met them young, or maybe you weren’t and didn’t meet them until your 40s. it also meant that your technical only worth was to be with your soulmate. you only existed because of your soulmate, and vice versa. it left you bitter once you thought into it, which was often due to your parents, supposed soulmates, divorced when you were thirteen. soulmates were so dumb. you had more worth than that. ultimately, you had long lost the enthusiasm and excitement for meeting your soulmate. as your hand went to pick up your coffee sitting on the counter, another hand tried to at the same time. you looked up, making eye contact with a boy with brown eyes and blonde hair— and, what? blonde … you blink, colors expanding right before your eyes. so many new colors were right in front of you, you looked down— you were wearing light color jeans with a red shirt and white shoes, just like the tags said you were. you look back up at the boy who is still staring at you, but you chalk it up to him seeing the same thing you are. “you’ve gotta be kidding me,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, not even meaning to. the boy’s brows furrow, “what?” you shake your head, looking down at the coffee in his hands, the name written on it saying jisung, “nice blonde hair.” one of his hands fly up to his hair, smiling slightly, “oh, you can see colors? that’s so cool! i haven’t met my soulmate yet—” what? your stomach drops heavily, a terrible, heavy feeling of dread creeping in, “but i’m excited to finally see colors … i bet they’re amazing.” your mouth is dry, eyes a bit teary and confused. why are you being emotional? you don’t even care, right? you clear your throat, “yeah, right.”

[0cta9on]

Unlikely Duet - 2

length: +4k words

Genre: Fluff

Newjeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

Yuno's POV

I’m walking through the familiar halls of Evergreen High School. The usual crowd of students walk past me like shadows, indifferent faces that I never bothered to remember in my almost three years of being a student here. The sun casts a warm glow through the windows, shining much brighter than usual. It was a welcome contrast to the darkness and rain from the other day. Suddenly, none other than Minji Kim bumps into me, a wide smile on her face. 

“Hey Yuno, mind if I walk with you?” she asks, her attitude much giddier than her usual composed demeanor.

I blinked, my usual guard lowered by her smile. “Sure, whatever,” I utter.

We walk together through the maze of hallways with no destination in mind. Minji’s arm brushes against me as she hums a tune of a song I’ve never heard, the subtle contact sending a jolt down my spine. I instinctively flinch, eliciting laughter from her. Shrugging off the moment, I turn my head away, attempting to conceal the embarrassment on my face.

“Y’know, Yuno,” she says, her voice lowering to a whisper. “You’re not as tough as people think you are.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, caught off guard by the random comment. Before I could respond, Minji suddenly pushed me against a nearby locker, her face dangerously close to mine. “But I like that about you,” she confesses, a hint of mischief in her voice.

My eyes grow wide as a flush of warmth spreads across my cheeks. I open my mouth to protest, but no sound comes out. Minji starts closing the gap between us, her eyes shut and her lips puckered. I tried to back away, but to no avail. My heart starts to pound in my chest as she slowly gets closer and closer. Without any other option in sight, I shut my eyes, bracing myself for the inevitable…

*BANG BANG BANG*

My eyes shoot open as I jolt awake. I look around at my surroundings, feeling disoriented. Couch. Window. Minji Kim. Flat-screen TV. Wait…

“Yuno! I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last 20 minutes!”

I whip my head around to the source of the voice. Minji is standing in front of me wearing her school uniform, a frying pan and a metal pot in her hands. 

“W-what?” I grunt, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My heart rate starts to calm down as I realize that everything that just occurred was a dream.

“You’re gonna be late for school at this rate. Here,” she says, placing my now clean school uniform on my lap. “Your breakfast is probably cold by n-”

“Breakfast?” I interrupt, wondering if I was hearing things. As if on cue, my stomach begins to rumble, signaling my hunger.

Minji’s cheeks turn pink as she averts her gaze, her fingers toying with her hair. “Uhh yeah, I made some waffles if you want, I don’t know if they’re any good…”

Without warning, my legs guide me to the kitchen as the scent of food beckons me. On the table, I see a plate of waffles, stacked three high and topped with whipped cream, maple syrup, and a couple sliced strawberries. I grab the fork lying next to the plate and begin digging in, scooping large forkfuls of waffle into my mouth.

“O-oh,” Minji stutters, her mouth forming into an amused smirk. “I’m glad you like them, Yuno.”

“...Fhanksh,” I mumble through a mouthful of waffle. Minji turns her face, attempting to stifle her laughter. I go back to finishing my first home cooked meal in a long while, feeling sheepish.

“I have to go in early today for a student council meeting, do you mind locking the door on your way out?” she asks, placing a house key next to me on the table.

I turn to her, my eyebrow raised in disbelief. “You’re giving a stranger a key to your house?” 

“You’re not exactly a stranger, Yuno,” Minji reassures me, flashing a warm smile. I feel my heart skip a beat for some odd reason.

She retrieves her phone from the pocket of her blazer, studying the screen with a serious expression. She sighs, tucking her phone back into her pocket. “Look, I really have to go, can you just please do me this one favor?” she pleads, slowly backing away.

I gave her a nod, knowing I didn’t have any other choice. Minji mouths a quick ‘Thank you’ before disappearing down the hall and out the front door. I finish the rest of my breakfast and place my dirty dish in the sink.

“What the hell have I gotten into?” I ask myself as I look out at the sun through the window, its warm glow looking much brighter than usual.

______________________________________________________________

I step out the front door of Minji’s house and lock the door behind me, sliding the house key into the pocket of my uniform pants. The fabric of the uniform feels softer than I remember. Must be nice to be able to afford good detergent.

Heading toward Evergreen High School, I followed the familiar path I had walked with Minji the night before. Upon reaching the campus, I made a beeline to my first period class. Thanks to Minji’s wake up call, I end up arriving five minutes early, a stark contrast to my usual tardiness.

Before I could take my seat in the back corner of the room, an announcement echoed through the PA system, summoning me to the principal’s office. “Yuno Lin to the principal’s office, Yuno Lin to the principal’s office. Now.”

I feel everyone’s gaze fixate on me, their faces betraying a mixture of curiosity and fear. I shrug it off and start walking to Mr. Geier’s office, anticipating the same inevitable conversation that awaits me.

______________________________________________________________

“You’re lucky I convinced them not to press charges,” Principal Geier says as he stares me down from behind his desk. His heavy breathing and his furrowed brows signify the anger he feels, a look I’m all too familiar with. 

I lean back in my chair, uninterested with whatever else he has to say. Principal Geier always does the same old song and dance everytime this happens. I kick someone’s ass, Geier does his whole brownnosing routine to get the parents to not press charges, and then he yells at me meaninglessly for half an hour. It happens so often that I’ve almost started to grow fond of these talks.

This time however, Mr. Geier lets out a long sigh instead of going on his angry tirade like usual. “How’s your father?” he asks, his voice sounding uncharacteristically sympathetic.

I raise my eyebrow at his sudden change of tone. “Why do you care?”

Mr. Geier leans forward, his hands folding on his desk. “Yuno, I know things have been tough for you since your mom’s passing. It’s not an easy situation to handle alone.”

I narrow my eyes, raising my guard. “What the hell does this have to do with Bryce’s parents not pressing charges?” I retort, poison seething in my voice.

“Because you can’t keep doing this, Yuno,” Mr. Geier asserts, raising his tone. “Look, I get that you're still upset that your mom died, really, I understand that.” He clears his throat before continuing, his demeanor much calmer. “But you can’t keep this up. How do you think your father would feel with his wife gone and his only son in jail?”

I shoot up out of my seat, slamming my hands against his desk. “What the fuck do you know!? What the fuck does that have to do with anything!?” I scream, tears welling up in my eyes.

Mr. Geier rises, leaning towards me. “Yuno, I will not have you disrespecting me in my office. I’m only trying to hel-”

“I don’t need your help!! I never fucking asked you to help!!”

“YUNO, Y-”

Suddenly, the door swings open, revealing Minji standing there, a bewildered look on her face. I turn my head away from her, furiously rubbing the tears from my eyes.

Mr. Geier clears his throat. “Yes Minji, did you need something?” he asks, his tone much calmer compared to the screaming competition two seconds ago. 

“U-uh, I just needed to drop off some paperwork,” Minji stammers, her voice filled with concern. “S-sorry, is this a bad time?” Her eyes flicker nervously between us.

“N-no, it’s fine, just give it here,” Mr. Geier replies, reaching for the papers. 

Minji gingerly places the papers into his hand before backing off, stealing a brief glance at me. “I-I’m just gonna go, Principal Geier.” An awkward laugh escapes her lips as she exits, shutting the door behind her.

Silence envelopes the room as Mr. Geier and I remain, the tension palpable. “I’m going back to class,” I mutter, storming out before he can say another word.

______________________________________________________________

The rest of my first period goes normally without any hiccups. I wouldn’t consider myself a model student, but I do the work and take the notes. Once the bell rings, I gather my things and head to my second period class, English. Upon entering the classroom, I walk through the row of desks to my regular spot in the back corner of the room. Without anything else to do, I survey my surroundings. A group of popular students talk loudly on the far right side, while some students at the front are quietly reading or working on homework for other classes. I notice the popular group start whispering amongst themselves and laughing while pointing at a girl reading a book at the front. Suddenly, one of the boys departs from the group and walks towards the girl, a malicious look on his face. I recognize him as Tyler McGraw, one of Bryce’s friends and another member of the football team. I keep my guard up, sensing trouble.

“Hey Winter, what are you reading?” Tyler asks as he snatches the book out of the girl’s hands. He pretends to skim the pages before tossing the book behind him, laughing. The girl - Winter, I think her name is - simply watches in fear, her hands shaking. “Anywho, I heard from my friend Veronica that you called her a bitch behind her back. Is that true?” He gestures to his friends, and one of the girls (presumably Veronica) bursts into laughter.

“N-n-n-no, I-I didn’t s-say that at all,” Winter stutters, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, I have a few witnesses that say otherwise.” Tyler claims, triggering more laughter from his group. The commotion captures the attention of the entire room. “So I guess we’re just gonna have to sue for defamation of character.”

Winter’s eyes grow wide in shock. “W-w-w-what? But I-”

“We could sweep this entire thing under the rug for a fee,” Tyler interrupts, mimicking a “money” gesture with his fingers.

Tears start to well up in Winter’s eyes. The rest of the students simply watch in anticipation, not daring to intervene. “I-I-I d-don’t have any m-money…” Winter whimpered, her voice breaking.

“That’s just too bad, Winter. I guess your old man is gonna have to pay for it then,” Tyler snickers. Witnessing her distress, I exhale wearily, rising from my seat and heading towards them. Bystanders gradually retreat, anticipating a potential fight. I position myself between Winter and Tyler, squarely facing him. The entire room fell silent, even the popular group halting their laughter. 

“The fuck do you want?” he sneered, practically spitting in my face. 

I reach into my pocket, retrieving a couple crumpled dollar bills from my wallet. “Here. That should be enough to pay your stupid fee,” I gruffly declare, shoving the money into his chest. “Now go sit down.”

He grabs the money and scoffs, retreating towards his group of friends. I turn around and kneel in front of Winter. “You alright?” I murmur, trying my best to sound reassuring. Winter offers a small nod, wiping away her tears. “Good,” I state before standing up and retrieving her book that got thrown, placing it on her desk and returning to my seat.

Not even two seconds later, the English teacher enters the room, completely oblivious to what just went down. 

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

Replaying the unsettling scene from Principal Geier’s office in my head sends a shiver down my spine. Their muffled screams echoed through the walls, revealing a side of both of them that I have never witnessed before.

Part of my duties as student council president is handing out various paperwork to the teachers, which grants me the extra luxury of skipping my first two classes. I was ahead in both of them anyways, so it’s not like I was missing anything. My next stop is Mr. Fillips, the English teacher. I peer through the window to his classroom and notice that he isn’t there. Instead, my attention was drawn to Tyler McGraw, engaged in a conversation with a visibly distressed girl. I can’t quite make out what he’s saying, but whatever it is, it’s making her cry. Ready to intervene, I hesitate once I see an unexpected person emerge - Yuno. My eyes widen and I instinctively clutch the stack of papers to my chest, fearing Yuno might be drawing into another fight.

My worries are laid to rest as Yuno shoves something into Tyler’s chest and says something, causing him to back away. I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that the situation didn’t escalate any further. Yuno further surprises me with an unexpected display of kindness as he kneels beside the crying girl, offering comfort. He doesn’t act anything like how Hanni made him sound. He’s… gentle and kind and caring. I don’t condone his previous actions, but maybe there’s more to him than the rumors suggest.

Suddenly, Yuno stands up and turns towards the windows, causing me to instinctively kneel down behind the windows, away from his vision. An odd thought crosses my mind - Why am I hiding from him? It’s not like he hasn’t seen me before.

“Uh, are you okay, Minji?”

The sudden voice startles me as I look up and see Mr. Fillips, a quizzical expression on his face. “Yeah, I just dropped something, hehe…” I get up off the floor, brushing the dust off my skirt. “Actually, I was just looking for you. Here you go,” I say as I hand him a small stack of papers.

“Thank you, Minji. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m a little late to class.” He gives me a small nod before entering his classroom. As I start to walk away, my gaze lingers on Yuno for a second, an unexplainable flutter resides in my chest.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

The next two periods continued on as normal with no further incidents. The bell rings, signaling the end of the third period and ushering the much-needed lunch break.

Entering the cafeteria, I quickly move through the lunch line and get my food. I then head to an empty table at the edge of the room. I sit alone as everyone is too afraid to get within five feet of me. Or so I thought.

While picking at my food, an unusual hush fell over the room. I glanced up, only to find a familiar looking boy with black hair nonchalantly placing his tray next to mine.

“Hi. Yujin Han at your service,” he greeted with a goofy smile, extending his hand towards me.

Momentarily taken aback, I hesitated before accepting the hand shake. “Uh, I’m Yuno,” I mumble awkwardly.

Yujin enthusiastically shakes my hand. “I wanted to personally thank you for helping me out with Bryce. Since he’s been in the hospital, I feel like I can finally breathe again.”

Puzzled, I began, “What do you…” Then, it dawned on me - this was the freshman that Bryce had been tormenting.

Yujin leaned back in his chair, a mix of gratitude and relief evident in his eyes. “I just moved here not too long ago. I thought things would be different here, but I guess being the new kid put a target on my back.” His expression shifts to a more introspective gaze. “It was like hell for weeks. I thought it would never end. But then you stood up to him. You saved me.”

Yujin’s expressions of gratitude felt foreign to my ears. I didn’t know how to respond. I just did what I always do and kicked some guy’s ass. I never expected to get thanked for it.

“Yeah, no problem,” is all I can mutter. I groan as I feel my head start to ache, the sudden influx of social interaction in the last two days starting to take a toll on me.

As if on cue, another person appears at my table.

“C-c-can I sit here?” a small voice asked. I glance up to see the girl from my English class, Winter, standing across from me.

Before I could even open my mouth, Yujin answered, “Yeah, sure! The more the merrier!”

I sighed and gave Winter a reluctant nod. A hint of a smile appears on her face as she takes a seat next to me. My headache intensifies slightly as I find myself suddenly surrounded by two people.

Winter clears her throat. “I-I just wanted to thank you for helping me earlier.” She pulls a $10 bill out of her pocket and hands it to me. “I know it’s not much, but I hope this is enough to pay you back.”

I eye the money in her hand and shake my head. “It’s fine. You don’t have to pay me back.” 

She shoves the money into the palm of my hand. “I insist. Please accept it as a token of my gratitude.”

I tried to hand the money back to her, but she was surprisingly strong. After many futile attempts, I sighed and pocketed the money. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I insist. You saved me.”

Yujin pipes up. “He saved you too? Wow, you’re like a superhero or something, Yuno!”

I groan, the throbbing in my head slowly increasing. “Don’t call me that. I’m not a hero.”

“But you totally are, dude! Right, uhh… What’s your name?” Yujin inquires, motioning towards Winter.

“M-my name is Winter,” she mumbled in response.

Yujin reached over me, extending his hand towards her. “Yujin Han, at your service.” She timidly shook his hand, casting a nervous smile.

“I-I agree with Yujin. Y-you are like a hero, Yuno,” she utters. Despite their good intentions, I can’t help but feel irked at the label.

“I’m not a hero, alright. I just don’t like bullies,” I responded curtly. 

The “end of lunch” bell rings and I immediately toss out my trash, briskly walking towards the exit of the cafeteria.

“See you around, Yuno!” I heard Yujin yell from behind me, drawing unwanted attention in my direction. I increase my pace without looking back.

I’ve spent the last two years at Evergreen with people being too scared to even breathe around me. Now, I’ve talked to a total of three people in the past two days, a new record as far as I’m concerned. A part of me felt drained from the sudden social interaction, but in the back of my mind, it felt… nice.

______________________________________________________________

The remainder of the day unfolds smoothly. As I approach the front gate to leave campus, I spot Minji talking to a group of girls and remember that I have to return the house key she gave me. 

“Minji!,” I called out, catching her attention along with a mix of reactions from her friends. A girl with cat-like features whispers something to the tallest one, while the one with glasses shoots me an unreadable glare. The shortest in the group gives me a mischievous smile while nudging Minji in the ribs. Retrieving the key from my pocket, I hand it over to Minji. 

“Here’s your house key. I made sure to lock the front door before I left,” I mention, doing my best to sound casual.

Minji stutters, a noticeable blush painting her cheeks as she takes the key from my hands. “O-oh, thanks, she responds, slipping the key into her blazer pocket.

As I turn to leave, the short girl stops me, an impish grin on her face. “Hold on, why are you leaving so soon? Minji, aren’t you gonna introduce us?” She nudges Minji, who now sports an even deeper shade of pink.  

“U-uh, I guess. Girls, this is Yuno. Yuno, these are my friends Hanni, Danielle, Haerin, and Hyein.” Minji introduces, trying to regain her composure.

Her group of friends gives me varying looks, ranging from curiosity to amusement. Hanni, the short one with a weird smile, extends her hand towards me. “Nice to meet you, Yuno. Tell me, how do you know our dear Minji?,” she interrogates.

I sigh, realizing that I have to navigate yet another social interaction. “We met in detention,” I answered curtly.

“Hmm, and how did you have Minji’s house key?” Hanni continues. Despite her innocent look, the smile on her face is like a red flag, warning me to leave the conversation as soon as possible.

“That’s between me and Minji,” I say in a slightly annoyed tone. I glance at Minji, who’s as red as a tomato at this point. “If you're done with your little interrogation, I’m gonna go,” I give them a nod before turning around and leaving, their gazes burning a hole in the back of my head as I set my sights towards my house.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

I step towards Hanni, my hands on her shoulders as I shake her in disbelief. “Hanni, what is wrong with you!?” I exclaim, frustration evident in my voice.

Hanni giggles, her eyes shut in laughter. “Whaaat, I’m just trying to get to know your new frienddd,” she teases, her mischievous grin widening.

Haerin examines my expression with her cat-like eyes. “Are you two dating?” she asks, genuine curiosity written on her face.

“NO!” I retort, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. I narrow my eyes at Haerin. “We barely even know each other.”

Hyein interjects with a playful smirk. “You should invite him to hang out with us! He seems nice!”

Danielle adjusts her glasses, giving Hyein a disapproving look. “He’s not, but I’ll explain that later.” She turns to me, a serious expression on her face. “As your vice president, I advise that you stay away from that boy; he could ruin your reputation. And you can do a lot better than him, Minji.”

“C’mon Dani, give Yuno a chance,” Hanni says, leaning her arm on Danielle’s shoulder. “He already spent the night at her house, isn’t that right, Minji?” The atmosphere suddenly turns tense as Danielle, Haerin, and Hyein wear looks of disbelief on their faces. I cover my face with my hands, wanting to disappear from this awkward moment.

Haerin’s eyes widen as she exchanges a surprised look with Hyein. “I never thought I’d see the day our Minji brings a boy home.”

Hyein nods in agreement, clearly taken aback. “Yeah that’s… unexpected. B-but good for you, Minji,” she stammers, trying to be supportive.

Danielle, who usually maintains her composure, drops her jaw in shock. “Wait, you slept with him? Are you serious, Minji?”

I scramble to find the right words to explain myself, feeling the weight of their stares. “I-it’s not what you think! He offered to walk me home after detention, a-and it started raining, and… and, well, it’s not like we did anything! He slept on the couch, and I was upstairs, and…”

Hanni wipes a tear from her eye, still chuckling. “You should see the look on your face right now, Minj. It’s hilarious!”

“A-anyways, I have a student council meeting to attend. I’ll see you guys later,” I say before briskly walking away, my gaze fixed on the ground.

Danielle clears her throat, regaining her composure as she follows behind me. The rest of the girls say their goodbyes as we part ways. As we navigate through the school corridors, my mind drifts back to Yuno. This mysterious boy has suddenly entered my life, throwing it for a loop. A sense of foreboding travels up my spine as I imagine what could result from that fateful meeting.

[dearly-somber]

All Alone | k.yh | day6

-> pairing. badboy!younghyun x unpopular kid!reader (f)

-> genre. high school!au, angst, unrequited love, pining, happy ending

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 1729

-> warnings. none

-> a/n. This was honestly kind of all over the place but it’s near to my heart

-> collection. songfic

-> started. ???

-> fin. Oct. 18th, 2020 @ 00:41

-> edited. Thurs., Oct. 25th, 2022, 21:40

You sat with your headphones covering your ears, listening to music and scrolling through Instagram.

You massaged your temple while glaring at the girls hovering around Yoon Dowoon, one of the most popular guys in your class. You continued glaring at them, noticing how Younghyun, one of the other popular ('bad boy') guys in not only your class but your entire school, glared at those same girls.

Before you could get up to confront the Dowoon Fanclub, Younghyun beat you to it:

"Would you people shut up?" One of the girls raised her hand as if she were going to hit him. He shook his head in disbelief, scoffing as Dowoon pushed up from the chair and left the class, his Fanclub not far behind. You sighed, Sungjin and Wonpil who were sitting in front of you turning around in their chairs to look at you.

"What's up with you?" Wonpil asked you, propping his chin on his forearm. You look him over before you took off your headphones.

"What's it to you?" Sungjin laughed, Wonpil elbowing him playfully. You couldn't help but smile at them. They were kinda cute, what could you say?

When the two guys went quiet and you saw Sungjin staring at Eunhi, Jaehyung's childhood best friend. It clicked immediately.

He liked her.

The thought alone made your heart ache painfully. And don't get it wrong, it wasn't because you liked Sungjin. It was just because you knew what he was going through. Biting the inside of your cheek your gaze found its way to Younghyun. Younghyun, who was on his phone and had such a nice side profile and— you shook your head. Get out of your head.

"Is there something on my face?"

Your eyes widened as you heard the familiar voice of Kang Younghyun. You had to swallow nervously, feeling everyone's eyes trained on your face. You were known as the quiet-but-not-to-be-messed-with kid in the class. Most people steered clear of you since you were pretty intimidating with hard stares and looks of dislike. The only people anyone knew you talked to regularly was Wonpil and Sungjin, and on occasion class-clown Jaehyung.

"You just gonna ignore me, then?"

Younghyun turned his phone face-down on his desk. You kept quiet, still staring at him like a kid with their hand stuck in a cookie jar. From out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eunhi get up from her chair. She stood up in front of you, obscuring your figure from Younghyun's fox-like eyes.

"Cut it out, Younghyun." She warned him. You tried to say something but your voice just refused to work. You hated this situation. You knew that Eunhi liked Younghyun. And from what you had noticed recently, Younghyun liked her back. This was why your and Sungjin's situation was so relatable. You both could sympathize for each other.

"Isn't it obvious?" Your head snapped to the side, gaze landing on Dowoon.

"What is?" Younghyun asked him, standing up.

"Don't you dare, Yoon Dowoon." You warned, suddenly having regained your voice. Dowoon smirked, taking a daring step forward. He made eye contact with Younghyun, hands in his pocket.

"She—" before he even had a chance to utter the words, you tackled him down, your hand covering his mouth as you straddled him. You had a hand around his throat, having put it there subconsciously.

"Wow, Y/N. Shouldn't you get a room before showing off your bedroom antics?" Kim Seokjin, the pretty boy of the school said with a smirk. Going red in the face, you sprung up. Dowoon looked shocked, a pink hue tinting his ears as he stared at you open mouthed. You hadn't even realized how Younghyun was staring at you, Wonpil and Sungjin completely speechless.

"Do me next!" Jeon Jungkook called, snickering with his group of friends. Grabbing a book from Sungjin's table you chucked it at Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook ducked, looking at you wide eyed. You turned to Dowoon, pointing at him threateningly.

"Keep your mouth shut or I’ll tell your mom you’re sleeping around."

The class hollered at your comment, Dowoon going pink in the face.

You grabbed your things, rushing out of the room. You bit down on your lip, pushing past Younghyun gently and jogging out. If it wasn't already obvious, that was sure to sell you out. Sungjin glared at Dowoon, pushing past Eunhi and Younghyun to go after you. Younghyun looked over everyone in utter confusion. "What the hell just happened?" He asked as Eunhi turned to look after Sungjin. Did he suddenly like Y/N? Hadn't he confessed to her on the day when she helped Younghyun get away from his dick of a boss? Biting her lip, Eunhi went to sit back next to Jaehyung.

———

You were sitting in the park with Sungjin. It was just past 7pm, and the night breeze was soothing.

"He makes my heart ache..." You sniffled, leaning against his shoulder. Sungjin bit his lower lip. Once again, they were in the same situation.

"I'm so sick and tired of loving him when I know he doesn't love me back..." You cried. Sungjin felt so hopeless. He slowly shifted so that your face was pressed into his shoulder, his shirt slowly getting wet with tears.

Still crying into his shirt, you choked out what you were feeling, not at all aware of Younghyun who was hiding behind a tree in his work clothes:

"I'm alone..." You wailed, clutching at Sungjin's shirt as if it were your lifeline. Younghyun turned to look at you and his heart broke. Slowly. It broke agonizingly slow. "Only the cold night air is by my side." You continued, pressing yourself into Sungjin.

"You have me, Y/N. You have me..." Sungjin soothed, patting your back gently. You cried, your breathing ragged as you held onto Sungjin. Younghyun left soon after that, heading into the convenience store where he was working. When he got there he layed on the counter, phone in hand as he tried his best not to think about you and how you were crying now, and all because of him. He was so dense. How hadn't he realized how Y/N, one of the coldest people he had ever met was so much gentler towards him?—

"Younghyun!" He snapped out of his reverie, looking up to make eye contact with Eunhi.

"Eunhi, hey!" He said with a smile, though he was sure it didn't reach his eyes.

"When do you finish? I saw the park near here is empty. It would be great for some stargazing!"

"Wait, it's empty? Sungjin and Y/N weren't there?" Eunhi looked nervous as she nodded.

"Yeah. I went to say 'hi' but Y/N suddenly got up and left. And she took Sungjin with her before I could even say 'hello'. She looked upset..." Eunhi muttered, trailing off as she realized that Younghyun wasn't listening anymore.

"I don't think I can go tonight. Some other time, maybe?" He asked, distracted with whatever he was thinking about.

"Uh, yeah.. Sure."

When Younghyun left that night, he finally realized something... He screwed up big time.

———

You entered the classroom that morning, hand in hand with Sungjin and a tired smile on your face. When you sat down the class hollered, Wonpil looking at the two of you with a smile.

"What'd I miss?" He asked. You shook your head, letting go of Sungjin's hand reluctantly.

"I think I've finally gotten over him." You said quietly. Sungjin smiled at you and you smiled back. Deep down you knew you weren't over him. Sungjin knew that too. But you two could work through the pain together. You yelped as you were dragged out of the room by your wrist. You turned around to confront them but your voice died in your throat at the sight of Younghyun so up close and personal. Your heart was beating in the back of your throat. His hands were soft against your skin and—

"I need to talk to you." He said, his voice sending shivers down your spine. As he continued pulling you along, he was stopped when Sungjin grabbed his arm tightly.

"What do you think you're doing?" He said.

The tension was thick enough to suffocate you. Younghyun glared at Sungjin, quite a bit taller than him. He stepped closer. "Get your hands off of me." He snarled. You gently took Sungjin's hand from Younghyun's arm, looking at him.

"He's—" You cleared your throat, willing your voice to go higher than a whisper.

"We're just going to talk." You assured him gently. Younghyun felt the jealously welling in his chest with how gentle you were with Sungjin. Sungjin let him go slowly, glaring at him warningly. Younghyun stared at him as he took you away.

Standing outside, you leaned against the wall and watched him nervously. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stared you down, hands in his pockets.

"Is there something on my face?" You quoted him, a nervous smile on your face as he chuckled.

"Cute..." He muttered. Jaw dropping, you looked at him in complete shock.

"Did you just...?"

"Uh. Listen, Y/N. I uh.. saw you, last night. With Sungjin."

You went silent immediately. That means he...

"You saw me break down didn't you..." You looked down. He pitied you. You're never meeting him like this again.

"Pity. I have to go." You said, voice breaking near the end. Before you could though, Younghyun put his hands on either side of you, efficienctly confining you. Your heart was beating so quickly you were sure that you would faint soon.

"It's not that, Y/N. I just... I realized that instead of trying to avoid my feelings for you and leading Eunhi on—"

"You.. You what?" You asked completely blanking out.

"I like you, Y/N. I just couldn't find the confidence to tell you—" before he could finish you cupped his cheeks, effectively shutting him up.

With no afterthought, you brought him closer, standing on your toes and bringing your lips together. Younghyun was shocked for a moment, but his hand quickly moved to your waist, pulling you closer. After a moment or two more you pulled back and hugged him.

"Thank you for loving me back..." You whispered. Younghyun smiled, hugging you back tightly.

"Always."

[goldennikko]

AGAIN AND AGAIN — jennie kim

summary : you and jennie argue about the dates she had forgotten due to work. only when you were on the verge of breaking up did she realize she didn't want to lose you.

pairing : jennie x reader

tags : f!reader ; argument ; crying ; harsh words ; swearing ; angst to fluff

requested: ✔

word count : 3.0k

how many times has this been? 

5th? 

6th? 

you didn't know. you couldn't even count it anymore. the number of times jennie left you hanging was too much for your heart to bear.

you couldn't believe your heart was still beating after all the times jennie had broken it.

you had no idea how many tears you had shed, but your eyes hurt too much.

you couldn't count how many sleepless nights you'd had, but your body was begging you to sleep.

you waited.

and waited.

and waited.

again.

and again.

nonetheless, you were still here, pathetically sobbing at your shared home's kitchen counter. jennie made you wait again tonight and you're still waiting for her to come home.

the door finally opened after hours of waiting. there was a brief pause as jennie wondered where you were because you were usually on the couch, watching a movie or sleeping while it was playing. you could hear her heels clicking against the floor as she made her way to the kitchen, where you were.

"baby?"

you scoffed bitterly at the pet name. "baby? that's all you have to say?"

you didn't meet her gaze, so you didn't notice her lips forming a frown at the sight of your tear-stained face. jennie stood there, frozen, unsure whether she should approach you because you looked upset—

no.

mad.

"is everything okay, baby?" jennie asked, exhaustion and worry mixing evidently in her tone, but comfort was also present.

you chuckled, the bitterness still on your tongue. "really? is that all?"

exasperated, the cat-eyed woman sighed. "look, i wouldn't know if you don't tell me. just tell me so we can both sleep."

that caused you to snap.

you slammed your hands on the counter and stood up from your seat, causing jennie to flinch as the seat screeched in disapproval. when it fell to the floor with a loud thud, she jumped. she looked at you with wide eyes as you gave her the most intense glare she'd ever seen.

it almost seemed to be filled with hatred.

"i could say the same to you." you said, tears welling up again in your eyes. "you should have told me you weren't coming, jennie."

jennie. her name rang out in her head, mocking her. you don't address her as such. since then, you've preferred calling her jen and sweet pet names, but never the government name.

"tell you?" jennie echoed in confusion.

you threw your head back, your chest tightening as you felt the pain spread across your chest, and you gave her a tired look. you were in utter disbelief. you expected her to remember.

but she kept proving you wrong by forgetting again and again.

"it's supposed to be date night." you reminded her quietly, too tired, and jennie's eyes widened. her head whipped to the nearest calendar, where she noticed a date with a red heart. "you said you'd make it up to me."

jennie gave you an apologetic look and went to explain, but you simply shook your head.

"you forgot, jennie. you forgot. again. and you made me wait in the restaurant like a fucking idiot."

"i'm sorry, baby. it slipped my mind because of work." jennie explained, but you were sick of hearing the same excuse for the nth time in months.

"work, work, work." you sneered. "it's always work, jennie. how about you? me? us?"

jennie's exhaustion was catching up with her at that point and she was becoming irritated. the look she gave you caught you off guard and you laughed bitterly, tongue poking the inside of your cheeks to keep your rage at bay.

"you're upset? now? with me?" you asked, pointing to yourself.

"it's not my fault i'm busy with work, y/n!" jennie fought back, throwing her hand to the side to emphasize her annoyance. "what exactly do you want me to do?"

"i want you to please tell me that you won't be able to make it to our date night, jennie! don't make me wait like a moron at the restaurant!" you yelled as you marched up to her, tears streaming down your cheeks because you couldn't keep it in any longer.

"i want you to rest! i want you to relax! with me!"

jennie stood firm, her heart breaking at your pleading tone and nonstop crying, but she was too caught up with her frustrations at the moment to care.

"i'm busy, y/n! why can't you see that?! i thought you were okay with this?!"

you burst out laughing, tears streaming down your cheeks. "okay? you call this okay?! making me wait means okay? overworking yourself means okay?!"

"but we were okay!" jennie insisted.

"are you insane?!" you screamed. "when was the last time you touched me? when was the last time you kissed me? when was the last time you told me you love me? when, jennie?!"

jennie ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "i love you, of course i do, y/n! you're supposed to know that! and i thought you knew the risks of dating an idol?!"

"i knew, jennie! oh god. i knew! i. fucking. knew! but you promised me!" you prodded her chest, making her stumble with each harsh word you hurled at her. "you promised me that you'd make time for me."

"i understand if you're busy, jennie. grab your phone and give me a call, a text, or whatever you prefer. make someone else let me know, your managers, the girls—i don't care, just let me know! how much time does that take away from your work, huh?" you asked.

"minutes, jennie! not even a minute!" you yelled, gathering your hair in your hands to keep from injuring yourself because you were seconds away from punching the nearest wall.

you didn't, however, because you didn't want to scare away your girlfriend. you didn't want to hurt her or anyone else. you didn't want to instill fear in her because all you wanted was for her to understand your point. you weren't that kind of person; you were sweet and patient. you can't just take pain over and over because you, too, have a limit.

jennie knew that. 

she watched your face contort from anger to pain, just pain, as she was stunned by your outburst. jennie felt your pain twice as much because she was the source of it all.

"i just want you to make time for me, jennie, and i want you to rest because i see you're tired."

you were both crying and sobbing, but your vision was too blurry from your tears to see your girlfriend. you backed up, sobbing pitifully as you tried to wipe away your tears, but they kept falling.

jennie's heart sank and she took a step forward, but you turned around. she reached for your hand, but you smacked it away and cast another glare over your shoulders, as if her touching you would burn you. you wanted her to touch you because you missed your girlfriend's touch, even if it was painful, but you were too upset right now.

"don't touch me."

your girlfriend was taken aback by the venom in your tone and you walked around the couch, picking up the previously discarded coat as you made your way to the door. jennie realized it a little late, but she dashed over to stop you.

"no, no, no!" jennie begged, panicked thoughts racing through her mind as she wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, preventing you from reaching the door.

"don't touch me. let me go." you hissed, easily overpowering her and removing her arms from around you.

"please, don't go, baby!"

when you slipped out the door, jennie stumbled but cried out. she tried to chase you down, but you were already gone. the idol walked back home, sobbing, as she realized she might be alone tonight or even forever.

she was terrified by the thought.

you had work, too. 

you were busy, too. 

but you've never used your job as an excuse to skip a date night or any other event in her life.

she, on the other hand, forgot about your date night, birthday, and anniversary.

nonetheless, you stayed.

and yet, every time she came home, you always greeted her with a sad yet gentle smile, whispering an it's okay into her ear and guiding her through the exhausting night filled with anxious thoughts.

you never once mentioned being busy as jennie's friend and girlfriend.

the cat-eyed idol collapsed by the door, so she curled up there, leaning against the door frame, waiting for your arrival. if she made you wait for days and hours, it wouldn't hurt to wait for you out in the cold this time.

jennie had no idea how long it had been. one hour? or two? she didn't mind because all that mattered was that she was there when you got home. however, due to exhaustion from work and the argument tonight, she couldn't help but close her eyes, despite her best efforts to keep them open.

it was dangerous to sleep out there in the middle of the night, but jennie was knocked out before she knew it. she had nightmares about you packing your bags when you got home and she even had visions of you not returning at all. she shivered at the door, not because she was cold, but because she was afraid you would abandon her.

jennie felt a gentle swipe on her cheek and her eyes shot open in fear that it was someone else, but her racing heart calmed down when she saw your blank face. only then did she realize how tired you were; the bags under your eyes and the way your lips pursed in a thin line made her sob once more.

"y/n/n…" jennie whimpered as she reached for your shoulders, attempting to wrap her arms around you. she was afraid you didn't want her touch, but you let her. she jumped on you, sobbing and burying her face in your neck. 

your warmth was almost strange given how long she had been away from you, but it provided her with the comfort she needed.

"idiot." you whispered as you hooked an arm under her thighs. "you're an idiot for sleeping here."

you carried the small woman inside and proceeded to your shared bedroom. jennie felt the bed welcoming her and drew back with bloodshot eyes to watch you settle into your side of the bed.

"no..." jennie whimpered. she didn't want to be away from you, so she climbed on top of you, straddling your waist and laying on your body.

for a brief moment, you were silent as you gathered your thoughts, your arms not snaking around her waist as usual, causing jennie's heart to break even more.

"you should've told me if you didn't want to go on a date."

jennie shook her head frantically in response to your words and your voice fell silent. you were on the verge of giving up. "no, please. i wanted to, i swear. but i'm an idiot for standing you up and i'm so sorry."

you chuckled, but it was emotionless; it was just a huff, a sign of exhaustion. "i heard that last week and the few other weeks before that, jennie."

shaking her head, the cat-eyed woman drew back to look you in the eyes. "i swear i'll make it up to you!"

"that, too."

jennie's world came crashing down around her, and she bit her lip to keep another sob from erupting from her throat. you finally looked her in the eyes and reached up to pull her lips from between her teeth. she remembered you telling her to stop because it was damaging her soft lips.

"do you even love me?" you whispered.

your pleading tone made jennie cry. to think you were beginning to doubt that hurt her. she clenched her fists around your shirt, resting her brow on your cheek.

"i love you. i do, a lot."

"i don't see it."

you felt tears fall down your cheeks, but they weren't yours. it was jennie's and you would have cried too if you hadn't drained them all over the last few weeks. the thought had been bothering you since last month and it was the cause of your sleepless nights.

but every time jennie agreed to the dates you were trying to set up, you'd forget about it, only for it to return when she forgot.

you let out a sigh. "let's sleep. we'll talk tomorrow about... whatever this is."

with that, you went to sleep. jennie stayed on top of you all night, and you'd wake up to the shiver wracking her body as she tried to silence her sob in your neck at the thought of you possibly breaking up with her the next morning. you'd only sigh, and it took a while for you to wrap your arms around her, one hand on her back, running up and down, shushing her.

when jennie was finally able to calm herself and fall asleep, you followed suit.

you awoke with no weight on top of you, causing you to sigh. did you really expect her to be there when you woke up? pathetic. you clicked your tongue and stood up; your muscles begged you to go back to bed, but your throat was scratchy from all the crying the night before.

you made your way downstairs, a blanket wrapped around you to protect you from the biting cold, barely registering the noise in the kitchen, but you came to a halt when you saw her. she was moving around the kitchen with her back to you. there was food on the table, mostly your favorites, and she was making your favorite drink right now.

you stood there, checking to make sure you weren't hallucinating and screaming at your brain to let go of the illusion. however, she turned around, her eyes widening at the sight of you, and she jumped in surprise, spilling some of the hot drink onto her hand.

you shot forward, leaving the blanket behind, as she hissed in pain. you grabbed the drink and dragged her injured hand to the sink. you put both of them under the faucet and let the water run over the burn. jennie was initially hesitant, but she soon found herself melting against you and relieved when you rested your head against hers.

"i'm sorry." your girlfriend was the first to break the silence and you merely hummed. "i know my mistakes and i won't do it again. i will make time for you. i will make it up to you."

"and i'm sorry for saying we were okay. i'm a complete idiot." jennie added, watching your thumb caress the burn under the cold running water.

you sighed and reached for a towel to dry her hands gently. "look, it doesn't matter. all i want is for you to rest."

jennie turned to face you, a determined expression on her face. "no, i'll rest and make it up to you. i'm sorry it took me being afraid you'd leave me to realize i needed to make time for you."

"and for yourself."

your girlfriend nodded. "and for myself."

you sighed and leaned down, kissing her on the temple. jennie nuzzled up to you like the cat she is.

"please. please keep your words this time. i'm begging."

jennie gave you a firm nod and took your face in her hands, watching you lean into her touch. "i promise i will."

as your lips finally met, you shoulders sagged in relief. jennie returned the kiss with equal, if not greater, passion. 

her arms were wrapped around your shoulders, one hand on the back of your head to keep you in place. you had yours wrapped around her waist, longing for her touch. 

as your lips moved feverishly against each other, there was a promise, a vow, that she'd do everything she said today in this kitchen.

jennie pulled back, panting, and rested her head against your brow. "i called the company."

you hummed, hope lighting up within you.

"i managed to convince them to give me a break." she said happily.

you returned it. "i assume with threats?"

jennie gave a nod. "of course." she said.

when a smirk appeared on your lips, she took pride in it. "that's my girl." you said.

tears welled up in jennie's eyes, and you reached out to wipe them away with one hand. "i love you, sweetheart."

jennie sniffled. "i love you, my love, and i'm so sorry."

jennie sobbed once more in your arms, swaying as you hummed a song. it took her a few moments to calm down, but once she did, she pulled back to look at you again.

"did i mention it's a month off? a two even." she smiled, her eyes still welling up. she was just waiting for lisa to respond to their group chat messages.

you furrowed your brow. "did you get the girls involved as well?" you teased, but you were still happy.

"they got themselves involved, y/n/n." she corrected.

you laughed, knowing that the girls would have jennie's back at any time. besides, they had to lock you both in a closet to force you to confess to each other, jisoo's idea, because watching you dance around each other's feelings was agonizing.

"where do you want to go?" jennie said.

you hummed while pecking her lips. "wherever you want to go, baby."

jennie pouted. "i want you to decide."

you kissed the pout away and led her to the table. "okay, i have a few ideas, but let's talk about it over breakfast because the food is getting cold."

jennie nodded in agreement, but pulled you in for another long kiss. 

she had missed this. 

she had missed you. 

"i love you. thank you for being patient with me, but i'll make it up to you, y/n/n."

"i love you, too, jen."

nikko note: hi, hi! i'm not really the best at writing angst, so i'm sorry if this is not that good. but still, thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed this one!

[teezertales]

let him eat cake // kim hongjoong

pairing: kim hongjoong x reader genre: light smut an: this is the first fic i think i've written in years so we're in this together wc: 3k warnings: spanking, voyeurism, punishment, pain, dom!hongjoong,

You don't think you've laughed so hard in ages. It was one thing that you were even able to get Wooyoung's attention.

It was another entirely that he listened to you.

Everyone knew that Woo tended to be the most ill-behaved of them all, so it shouldn't have surprised you that he actually wanted to go along with the idea. You had thought since this was in front of thousands of Atiny, Woo might think twice about embarrassing his captain in such a public setting.

Then again, everyone also knew that Woo was a glutton for punishment.

Initially, you stood shocked when the cake smeared its black frosting across Hongjoong's face, blinking rapidly as if the scene in front of you wasn't really happening. It took all of a few seconds for the sound of the stadium's erupted laughter to register with you and you were then joining in, sides aching from how hard you laughed in utter disbelief. He took it with all the composure of the team's captain as the crowd began to settle down.

That should have been the end of it, but Hongjoong had then looked at you. Really looked at you. You'd seen that look countless times when the members acted up. It was a look that told them to come to his room later, that everyone joked was where Hongjoong would punish them by spanking them.

You honestly brushed it off at first, and would've forgotten about it had his gaze not found you when he returned to stage a few minutes later, face unfortunately still frosted.

Your stomach sank and you felt a tightness in your chest as his eyes lingered on yours. The remainder of the show was spent with your heart racing, from the adrenaline of the concert to the seriousness of his gaze each time it found you throughout the rest of the night.

You felt as if you had run a mile at the end of the show, the floor clearing out little by little until there were only a handful of groups lingering here or there. You had started on your way out of the venue when a masked staff member stopped you and asked you to follow them. That was when your heart really started to hammer away, heat rising to your cheeks. Were you going to be in trouble? Did Wooyoung somehow blame it on you, and now you were going to take the fall?

All sorts of possibilities ran through your mind as you followed them through hallway after hallway until you reached an empty green room. The staff member didn't say much as they gestured for you to sit on the loveseat, where a form and pen sat waiting for you on the coffee table.

There's no fucking way…

You looked bewildered and didn't even have the chance to hide your surprise as you stared open mouthed between the Non-Disclosure Agreement and the staff member who waited patiently with a raised brow. "One of the members would like to meet you, and in order to do that we'll need you to sign this. This is just an agreement that--"

"I-I know what it is, thank you. I'll sign it."

You hadn't meant to come off so short, but you were freaking out internally. There was a slight tremble to your hand as it reached for the pen while your eyes scanned the document. Jokes were made about this exact situation all the time and you hadn't expected to ever find yourself in it. The worst part was that you had no idea what would follow once you signed. Even so, you had.

The staff member collected the document wordlessly and slipped it into a folder behind them before they had gestured for you to follow. You stood on wobbly legs but followed out regardless, your heart pounding as heat flooded your neck and face. The possibilities of what was to come had your stomach doing flips and you silently chewed the inside of your cheek. You hadn't gone far before they stopped and you had to stop yourself from running into their back while they rapped their knuckles on the door.

"Come in," came a familiar voice that sent a chill down your spine.

The staff member pushed the door open and inward, staying in the hallway while they gestured you inside. And what greeted you when you stepped inside made your heart stop in your chest and all of the breath leave your lungs.

Kim Hongjoong.

His dark gaze flicked behind you, the silent command enough as the door shut behind you, the sound making you startle, effectively bringing you back to earth. "It was Wooyoung's i--!" had quickly rushed out of your mouth, the sentence abruptly ended by a deadly smile and finger to the lips by Hongjoong, the idol you had always dreamed of meeting.

Though you could have never pictured something like this.

The look in his eyes made your heart skip several beats, making your head swim. He knew it too, could see it in the way your eyes had widened at him like saucers with worry knitted in your brow, your lips parted in shock. Most of the frosting had been cleaned from his face, but there were still dark smudges visible--evidence of your involvement.

"Don't you remember? Wooyoung said it was your idea. He wouldn't do it if a certain Atiny did not encourage him," he said, head tilted to the side with a predatory glint in his eye. That look made your stomach coil, your legs squeeze together. You knew you were probably beet red right now, and that realization only made it worse. Hongjoong chuckled.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't think he'd actually…I didn't even think he'd see me--! Oh my god…" You had begun, panicking once more as you ran a hand through your hair with worry etched deep in your features. Hongjoong only chuckled and stood, holding up his hands and shaking his head. "Relax, ….?" he cooed, brow raised prompting you for your name.

"Oh-- Y/N. My name is Y/N."

"Y/N…very pretty name," he said with a smile, sitting back down before he pat the cushion beside him. "Y/N, I asked before, but are you sure you are Atiny? Because my Atiny knows what happens when someone gets into trouble." You stared at him wide-eyed and quickly nodded your head. "Of course I'm Atiny! And...of course I know…" you had started out strong, determined to prove yourself as an Atiny. But your voice had faltered, quieting as you remembered what happened to those who got into trouble with the captain.

The few seconds it took you to cross the space and sit next to him--a healthy gap between the two of you--felt like an eternity as the edges of your vision darkened what was in front of you into a tunnel. You were conscious of how loud your heart hammered in your chest while the watch on your wrist vibrated to alert you of your increased heartrate. Hongjoong lifted a brow, that ever-present smirk taunting you and he nodded. "You do know? So you did it anyway, mm? It's almost like you wanted this to happen." It felt impossible for you to blush any harder but your body had become uncomfortably hot and you avoided meeting his gaze. There was no use in denying it, he knew that. He knew what his older Atiny thought of him and the rest of his members. You did want this. While you were lost in your thoughts, refusing to believe the reality before you, the very real and breathing captain watched you intently. The feeling of cool fingers on your chin made your hazy thoughts disappear in a blink and you sucked in a gasp. Hongjoong had captured your chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced you to look at him.

The second you did, all of your willpower had crumbled and the quietest whimper sounded in your throat. That made him smile, the sound of his chuckle making you press your thighs together. His head did not move as his eyes watched the subtle movement, brows raising as his smirk grew. You'd seen that look before in so many fancams, but seeing it in real life was devastating. "Y/N, I can hear how loud your heart is beating for me," he teased you as you sat awestruck, frozen under his gaze. At some point he had maneuvered himself closer to you, thigh brushing against yours and you wondered when he had had the time to do that without your notice. His face leaned into yours, his cheek brushing yours and your hand instinctively moved to cover your mouth as you sucked in a gasp. The hand that had held your chin moved to cup the back of your neck, thumb positioned on your cheek opposite his face. His breath caressed your ear as he spoke which sent a full body shiver down your spine while his other hand had moved to the dip where your hip met your thigh and squeezed once. "Y/N, I have to punish you, you know this?" When you didn't answer, the hand at your hip squeezed harder. "That was a question, Y/N." "Y-Yes..." "Yes, what?" "Yes, C..Captain." He chuckled against your ear. "Good girl. Come here," he commanded as he pulled away, patting his lap. The hand at your neck moved down your arm to your wrist to guide you closer until you were laid across his lap. You couldn't hear anything over the sound of your blood roaring in your ears while your heart pounded against your ribs. You were both embarrassed and enthralled, panicked and excited as his hands settled on your body. One moved to brush the hair that hung in front of your face behind your ear while the other rested on the small of your back. "Hmmm," Hongjoong mused, the hand on your back rubbing small circles, each circle widening until his hand rested on your ass. "I wonder how many would be enough? It is my birthday, so maybe I should do one for each year, hm? I think that is only fair. What do you say, Y/N?" You swallowed the thick lump that had formed in your throat and nodded once. "Y-Yes, Captain." "You learn quickly, I like that." CRACK. There was no warning when the first smack came and you cried out, the sting sharp even through the fabric of your pants. Hongjoong knew what he was doing as the blow landed not at the crest of where you ass was roundest, but right beneath. Right where all your weight would be whenever you sat. "Count." It was not a question and you swallowed a breath before you spoke, voice trembling. "O..One..." His hand rubbed the sting into your flesh, letting it fade before raising it and letting the second blow come without a moment's hesitation. CRACK. One of your hands covered your mouth to stifle your cry of pain, shaking as it moved away for you to count. "T-Two..." Even if it was a punishment, the soothing strokes of his palm after each slap was comforting. Hongjoong knew how to be careful, and it was clear all the rumors were true. "If it's too much, tell me to stop," he said as he massaged your already burning flesh. But he was surprised when you shook your head, glancing at him from over your shoulder. "I-I can handle it," you replied confidently despite how your voice wavered. The smile that spread across Hongjoong's face was dark, and you could see why he was part of the demon line. "Good girl." CRACK. "Three--!" CRACK. "F-Four.."

It didn't escape Hongjoong's notice how your thighs squeezed together with each blow, judging by how his hand would brush the apex of your thighs while he soothed your flesh. At some point your cries of pain had become moaning whimpers that you muffled behind your hand and you looked forward to the next and the next, your heart pounding now for other reasons. Hongjoong was enjoying it too, you could tell. If what had slowly begun to press into your abdomen while lying across his lap was any indication, he was thrilled by your responses. CRACK. "T-hirteen..." Your ass was burning, and you knew that sitting would be pain for the next few days. But God was it worth it. Hongjoong was impressed with how well you took the punishment, never asking him to stop for even a moment. The hand that wasn't spanking you would take turns caressing your back or running fingers through your hair, even moving to your mouth for you to bite down on should you grow too loud. CRACK. You wailed against his hand, a tremble in your thighs beginning to grow. Your ass was aching, heat radiating from the throbbing pain and Hongjoong waited patiently for you to gather yourself. "N.." You let out a trembling breath. "Nineteen." You tensed for the next blow only for it not to come. When you glanced over your shoulder, Hongjoong was staring intently at the door, brows narrowed. His eyes dropped to the crack beneath the door where a shadow moved. His hand rested possessively against your throbbing flesh and he spoke. "I know you are there, Wooyoung." Your head whipped toward the door as heat flooded your face. The silence felt like an eternity, and a few moments later the door slowly opened to a sheepish Wooyoung, eyes wide as his gaze fell on you across the captain's lap. Hongjoong commanded him wordlessly with a look and the door was then closed, Wooyoung crossing the room to sit in a chair opposite the couch you two were on. "How long have you been eavesdropping, Wooyoung?" He couldn't take his eyes off of the two of you, staring directly at you as he answered the captain's question. "Four.." came his simple answer before his gaze peeled from yours and moved up to Hongjoong's. "Four? And you were going to let Y/N take your punishment and listen from the outside? Naughty boy." Hongjoong scolded him, rubbing soothing circles into your ass. You were surprisingly grateful for the respite, but there were only five more to go. Wooyoung said nothing as his gaze dropped to the floor, eyes glancing at yours every now and then. "Apologize to her, Wooyoung. Make it convincing." Wooyoung looked at you for a moment before mumbling an apology. Hongjoong tensed beneath you and you felt your blush heat your face. "That wasn't very convincing. Do it properly."

Wooyoung's head snapped up to look at Hongjoong with a pleading gaze that was silenced by his hard stare. Woo stood from his chair and bowed at the waist, apologizing to you formally. He was still bowed when Hongjoong's hand suddenly cracked across your ass and you yelped, startling Wooyoung who abruptly straightened with wide eyes, his mouth agape. You began to speak, counting the spank when Hongjoong shushed you, his gaze never leaving Wooyoung's. "Count for her, you know where we left off since you've been outside the entire time." "Twenty.." came Wooyoung's quiet voice. CRACK. "Louder." CRACK. "Twenty-one--!" With each remaining blow, Wooyoung couldn't keep his eyes off of you, gaze snapping to your ass each time Hongjoong's hand met the suppled flesh. He squirmed where he stood, his own face flooded with heat. Watching the captain punish you coupled with the sounds you made had his hands folded in front of his lap, quickly getting a rise out of him. Feeling Hongjoong's arousal pressing tightly into your abdomen while watching Wooyoung's excitement grow was wreaking havoc on your mind and body. The dampness between your legs had grown so obviously that Hongjoong chuckled when his hand dipped between your thighs after each slap. "You like having Wooyoung watch don't you, Y/N?" When you didn't answer, he laughed again and glanced up at Wooyoung as he continued speaking to you. "Don't worry, I think he likes watching you, too." His free hand dipped to your cheek, caressing it softly with the pad of his thumb as he leaned in closer to your face. "You've been good, Y/N. Last one, okay?" You nodded, a whimper sounding in your throat as your hands tightly gripped his thigh beneath you. He rubbed gentle circles against your ass before lifting his hand, letting it crack harder than it had before which caused you to cry out in pain, body jerking underneath him which elicited a small groan from the man. "Mmn..twenty-four," Hongjoong said, gently soothing the sting with his own aching hand, fingers dancing between your thighs each time his hand circled low. Wooyoung was momentarily ignored as Hongjoong began to praise you. "What a good girl you were for me, Y/N. But you won't be getting in trouble again, will you? You've learned your lesson?" You were breathless, panting in his lap as you nodded weakly in response. "Y-Yes, Captain. I won't do it again.." you mumbled, letting your full weight rest in his lap. His hand had stopped rubbing circles across your ass and had now begun to settle between your thighs which made your breath catch in your throat. It was then that Hongjoong acknowledged Wooyoung again. "Since our brave Y/N took the punishment for the both of you, it's only fair you help me reward her for being so good, don't you think Wooyoung? After all, you didn't think I'd let you watch and listen without doing anything, did you? You need to make it up to her." Wooyoung blinked between the two of you before he settled on Hongjoong, nodding quickly. "O-Of course. I owe her that much," he replied as he crossed the space between you. Hongjoong jerked his chin towards Wooyoung with a grin. "On your knees, then." Woo did as he was told and Hongjoong helped you sit up off of his lap gently, guiding you to lie back against the couch before he grabbed your hips and slid your ass towards the edge of the couch. Hongjoong grinned, guiding Wooyoung between your parted thighs before straightening up behind him, arms crossed over his chest. "Mm, happy birthday to me."

[jungk0oksthighs]

Over The Odds | Teaser

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - angst, smut, ceo!jk, sugardaddy!jk

Word count - 1.6k

In which you first encounter billionaire Jungkook and his best friend Taehyung.

warnings: swearing, drinking, oc is poor

FULL SERIES COLLECTION

Jeon Jungkook, London’s most eligible bachelor.

The man every woman desires, and the envy of all other men. Not only is he the CEO of Jeon Industries, one of the world’s largest profitable oil trading companies – he’s fucking gorgeous. His face is plastered all over the media, news articles, television appearances, he even has his own Youtube channel documenting his lavish travels and best money saving advice for new and upcoming entrepreneurs. And he’s quite the socialite too, spending his free time in the company of the stars – including his best friend Kim Taehyung, a well-respected celebrity attorney.

It's a Friday night when you first encounter the pair. You and Jimin, your best friend of 15 years are sitting at the bar in Black Swan, an upscale club in central Kensington when a large hand finds purchase on your bare shoulder.

“Good evening,” Jungkook smirks. He’s wearing an all-black three piece suit, his long hair is styled in a way that reveals his forehead and he smells like tobacco mixed with an expensive cologne you would never be able to afford, “Could I buy you a drink?”

Jimin sits beside you in utter disbelief, his eyes big and round with shock. Not for a second did you ever think Jeon Jungkook would be interested in somebody like you. It’s not that you’re unkept or unattractive because you’ve had plenty of male attention tonight that proves otherwise. It’s possibly due to the strapless navy dress that hugs your curves in all the right ways, emphasising your cleavage and tiny waist. But it’s more the fact you have Jungkook’s attention you find surprising, you’re almost certain he’s a billionaire and this dress is a Buy Now Pay Later purchase you made with the price tag still attached and neatly tucked into your bra, because you have every intention of sending it back to avoid paying for it.

To say you’re broke is an understatement. You’re behind on basic priority bills like rent, electricity and gas – drowning in student debts stemming from a business degree you’ve done absolutely nothing with, and then there’s your maxed out credit cards and catalogues. On this particular night you have £40 to your name, which is supposed to last you for another two weeks until you get paid from work, but giving the prices in this place you knew you’d definitely be ending the night in your overdraft.

“Sure,” You offer a polite smile, “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Excellent choice.” The tall, dark and handsome CEO holds up a single finger to get the bartenders attention, “Another bottle of your finest champagne please.”

Your stomach flips, you and Jimin had been drinking boxed wine on his kitchen floor before coming out, something that he found in the back of his cupboard with an expiration date of over two months prior. Champagne is a little out of your comfort zone, but you’re in no position to deny it.

“Come join us at our table?” Jungkook gestures to the red roped VIP area where Taehyung is sitting patiently, holding his hand up in a single wave as he catches you eyeing him.

“We’ll be over in a second.” You suppress a smile as you attempt to register what’s happening.

“Good.”

A puff of air escapes Jimin’s nostrils as Jungkook saunters back to his VIP table, waitress in tow carrying a bucket of champagne that probably costs more than your rent.

“Holy shit,” Your best friend whispers, equally as dumbfounded as you, “Did you shave? Please tell me you shaved.”

“Yes I shaved,” You mentally praise the lord just in case, “But I’m not putting out for him, I’m one million percent not his type. Look at me.”

“Hmm. Wrong audience,” Jimin flicks his wrist and flips his hand down quickly, a not so subtle reminder that he’s as gay as they come, “He bought you a drink for a reason Y/N, maybe you are his type.”

“Shut up,” You snort a little louder than you intended, “That’s impossible, he’s fucking-”

“He’s staring over here we should go and join them.”

“In a minute,” you nod, “Don’t want to seem too eager.”

To this Jimin rolls his eyes and rushes you to your feet, smoothing out the material of your dress as you stand, “Have you ever seen two more gorgeous men in all your life?”

No, you haven’t.

Though Taehyung works as an attorney he looks like a designer runway model, his face perfectly symmetrical save for a small beauty mark on the tip of his nose which is ever so slightly to the right. He’s tall, equally as tall as Jungkook you notice when they both stand to greet you at their table. Taehyung’s brunette hair is choppy and slightly covers his large doe-like eyes. He too is wearing a black three piece suit, though his has very faint white pinstripes covering the fabric.

And then there’s Jungkook, a wet dream in the making. His olive skin is littered with beautiful artwork, pieces threaten to escape the cuffs of his sleeves as he pulls one of the empty chairs back, inviting you to sit down beside him. Raven locks frame his chiselled features and draw attention to his large almond shaped orbs, equally as dark as his hair. He’s beautiful, they both are.

You’re in way over your head.

“Thank you for the drink,” Your gaze flickers between the two men, “I’m Y/N and this is my best friend Jimin.”

“Hi.” Is all Jimin manages to choke out, completely in awe of the model-status men. He sits opposite you next to Taehyung with a wide toothy grin, his counterfeit white Vivienne Westwood shirt looks almost laughable in the presence of real luxury.

“Pleasure meeting you both,” Jungkook speaks, “My name is Jungkook, and this happens to be my best friend Taehyung.”

“We know.” Jimin blurts out, barely able to contain his excitement.

To this Taehyung chuckles and Jungkook offers a surprised ‘Oh?’ in return.

“Well I mean, what I mean is you’re practically celebrities so of course we know who you are…” Jimin tries to justify himself, “Thank you for the champagne…” He feels small, you can tell.

“It’s nothing really,” Taehyung hums, pouring you both a bubbly flute, “Now Jimin, I wonder if you can help Jungkook and I settle a debate we’re having.”

“Okay.” Jimin nods a little too quickly, smiling brighter than the sun.

Taehyung clears his throat as he slides your drink across the table, “Now I am under the impression that your friend here,” He smiles at you, “Is very much single…  Jungkook however believes a woman of such beauty must already be spoken for.”

You almost choke on your drink which doesn’t go unnoticed by the man beside you, his lips lift into a dangerous smirk. Jimin however is loving every second of this interaction, he gives you a look that screams ‘I told you so’ before he opens his mouth to speak, “Y/N is single, very single actually.”

It’s true, you are painfully single – the last guy you dated only lasted six months and that was almost two years ago. Kim Namjoon. You try not to wince at the memory of his dimpled cheeks and caring nature, you truly believed that he was The One until he moved away to teach English to children abroad. One of your flaws is that you have a tendency to fall for men way too hard, way too fast – and that’s precisely why you’ve avoided the dating scene for so long aside from the very occasional one night stand.

“Ah,” Taehyung raises his glass, “I told you so.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks faster than the speed of light, you’re so unbelievably confused yet flattered all at once. Maybe you will keep this dress after all, it must be working wonders on the male species to grab someone like Jeon Jungkook’s attention.

“That you did, well done.” A brief silence follows Jungkook’s defeat.

“Oh no,” Taehyung furrows his brows in feigned pain, “Jimin, would you care to join me outside? I’m beginning to feel lightheaded I’m in need of some fresh air.”

Jimin frowns, to which Taehyung gives him a knowing look and the penny finally drops, “Oh! Yeah, okay. You’ll be okay here won’t you Y/N? With…Jungkook.”

You nod slowly, bottom lip tucked between your teeth not knowing whether to laugh or cry, you’re so embarrassed. Your best friend guzzles the rest of his champagne, not that you could blame him it did taste amazing and a single flute probably cost more than anything else you’d ever consumed. The two men walk away and you have to suppress a laugh, even with his back turned Jimin is still bouncing with excitement.

“Subtle.” Sarcasm drips from your tone.

Jungkook chuckles lowly at this, his warm tattooed hand quickly finds your thigh and earns you to blush even harder, “I won’t waste your time Y/N, I have a somewhat unique proposition for you, if you’re interested.”

“Go on.” You turn to face him, completely lost in his gaze. His breath is warm on your cheek, his scent overwhelming your senses and making you dizzy. It’s indescribable how attracted to him you are, you’ve never had such an intense desire for someone’s touch in your life. Every nerve in your body is ablaze, especially where his inked fingertips slowly drag themselves upward, closer and closer to where you want him the most.

A faint smile threatens his lips, “Just try to keep an open mind, I believe this could be very beneficial for us both.”

x

[yeongwonie]

STUPID CUPID! �� 33

pairing. park sunghoon x f!reader

SYNOPSIS. alone on valentine’s day, you decide to sign up for the student council’s fundraiser: a matchmaking survey, hoping to at least get a few laughs out of the whole ordeal. little do you know, park sunghoon (your archenemy since junior high) has the same idea. but it’s fine! your student body president, kim sunoo, would never tamper with the matching system, right?

note. this is my formal apology for chapter 29 </3 i loved writing this so much even tho its literally my own smau i am the biggest sungy/n fan

+ please rb if u want to!! it rlly helps w/ tumblr’s algorithm :))

masterlist

⤎ prev | 33 — like it was (written; 1.2k) | next ⤍

AT 11:01, SUNGHOON FINDS YOU slumped against a tree in the school’s courtyard.

initially, it’s hard to tell, but when he sees you curled up, face half-hidden in the warmup jacket you’re clutching to your chest, he knows it’s you. he approaches slowly at first, then breaks into a light jog until he’s standing in front of you. he crouches down until he’s at your eye level, then, tentatively, a hand reaches out to touch your shoulder, tapping lightly in the hopes of waking you up. 

when you don’t stir, sunghoon examines your face more closely. your hair clings to the sides of your face, and your brows are furrowed. he holds the back of his hand a few centimeters away from your forehead and finds that even the air around you feels warm and clammy. 

lightly, his fingers move to brush a few stray hairs out of your face. the moment he makes contact with your skin, your eyes shoot open, and you blink up at him in disbelief. 

“what are you doing?” you ask, voice low from disuse. in a flash, he retracts his hand and moves backward in slight fear. somehow, you still manage to appear more than a bit intimidating, even though he’s just woken you up from your impromptu nap on school grounds. 

“sorry,” sunghoon mumbles, still squatting awkwardly in front of you. it’s a little unnerving, the way you stare at him in silence for a long pause (though, he supposes if he’d woken up to you in front of him, he’d have the same reaction). eventually, you sigh, then pat the space next to you under the tree’s vast trunk. 

slowly, sunghoon moves to lean against the tree alongside you, though he never lets you out of his direct line of sight. he watches your eyelids flutter closed as you let out a shaky exhale. for a few moments, he mirrors you, letting the warm sunshine of the late morning wash over his face. staring up at the thin veil of branches and leaves stretching across the sky, it’s not hard for sunghoon to see why you’d fallen asleep here so easily; he’d known you’d looked tired, and something about the atmosphere of the courtyard was strangely tranquil and soothing. 

while sunghoon watches the leaves rustle slightly in the light breeze, he thinks only of you. he and you had gone so quickly from close friends to strangers because of his cowardice, and now, it was far too easy for him to fall back into his old routines and find comfort by your side. it terrifies him, how easily he had sat down next to you despite years of trying to push you from the furthest depths of his subconscious. 

at the same time, he can’t help but wonder why it is you seem so exhausted. he wants to believe it’s only because of the pressure of this showcase. during your years “apart”, sunghoon thinks you’ve only gotten more admirable, though you’d always been someone who was willing to work yourself to your limit for the good of your team. still, another part of him knows it has to be a little bigger. the puffiness around your eyes betrays your clear lack of sleep.

sunghoon hopes you’re not losing sleep over him, as he does so often. 

lost in thought, a sudden weight on his shoulder is enough to make sunghoon jolt a little, then look down at you in surprise. your hair tickles the skin of his neck, and sunghoon is rendered helpless, frozen in utter shock. you’re still asleep, having effortlessly fallen back into your slumber minutes prior (your unbothered state is an almost comical juxtaposition to his panicked expression, he thinks).

and then, sunghoon realizes what he’d come outside to do.

“it’s past 11, now,” he murmurs softly, turning his head a little to look down at you. your eyes don’t open, but he continues, knowing you’re listening. “we should go.”

you shift the position of your head, pressing your chin more firmly into his shoulder while mumbling a light protest, and sunghoon feels the tips of his ears burn bright red. 

“come on,” he tries to say seriously, though the end of his order breaks off into a laugh. “i’m not going to carry you, by the way.”

“i would hope not,” you reply. at last, your eyes crack open, and you sit up straight, squinting against the sudden rush of bright light and schooling your features into a soft frown. after lingering for a few seconds, you push yourself to your feet and dust any dirt off of your practice clothes. 

you extend a hand to sunghoon, and he stares at it for a second too long before allowing you to pull him to his feet. one of your hands slips into your pocket and pulls out your phone, and once you look at the screen, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. 

“it’s 11:20?” you exclaim, voice rising in panic. 

sunghoon laughs a little, then places a hand on your shoulder, as though he’d sensed the sudden urge you felt to sprint the entire way back to the practice room. “don’t worry, he says, “coach said she only wants us back to help set up. don’t tire yourself out.”

“but,” you protest, brushing his hand off of your shoulder, “won’t she still be annoyed?”

“i don’t know, aren’t you the captain? i think you should get special privileges or something.”

“that’s really not how it works,” you say, a smile contradicting your seemingly bothered tone. 

side by side, sunghoon and you start to walk back to where your teams are probably waiting. he grimaces a little at the thought of setting up every single chair for the auditorium, but any negative feelings are pushed out of his mind by the sheer elation he feels just being next to you like this, as though no time had passed and nothing had happened to jeopardize your relationship. 

and just like that, the words flow out of his mouth, as easily as he wishes they had any time during the last four years. 

“about what you asked yesterday,” he begins, pausing in the middle of the walkway. “do you still want to know?”

you pause alongside him, and sunghoon scans your face, expecting curiosity or even eagerness. instead, you look pensive, and maybe even a little sad. 

“can we talk about this later?” you ask, and his heart drops. noticing his shift in demeanor, you quickly continue. “i do still want to know, i just.” you pause to swallow. “i don’t know if i’m ready to hear it, right now.”

sunghoon nods, because it’s all he can really do in the moment. he wonders what would’ve changed had he said something sooner, or if he hadn’t said anything at all and you’d continued on your separate paths like two parallel lines. with a grim look on your face, you turn and continue walking back to the dance room, leaving sunghoon to trail a few steps behind.

he decides then, for probably the sixth or seventh time (and a few years too late), that he will do everything he can to fix things. the prospect of valentine’s day in the near future looms over him like a vast shadow as he watches you walk ever further away.

✮✮✮

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[sungbeam]

Hi I wanted to request a fanfic....

A Kim mingyu x reader

Secret baby and non idol au

Angst with a happy ending

Could include prompts Nos. 67 & 61

Is that too much?

𝗻𝗲𝘄

nonidol!kim mingyu x fem!reader

1.9k words, secret baby au, angst w/a happy ending!, minghao kinda throws u under the bus skfndkd

a/n: hi anonie!! tysm for sending in a request, and it was not too much so dw ^_^ i do like some specificity sometimes, and i did enjoy writing this!

There were a few things that your friend Minghao was good at. One of them, it seemed, was dragging you to social outings that neither of you wanted to be present for. He had even found you a babysitter for your precious little one. Baby Yeona was only around eighteen months old, but Minghao insisted she was capable of taking care of herself. 

Clearly, he was no father. And he would definitely not be watching over Yeona for a while. 

Nonetheless, here you were, climbing out of Minghao's pretty, little gold Lexus while you wore the first set of nice clothes in a long time. You stared up at the sky-high facade of the luxury downtown hotel as you and Hao made your way toward the entrance. 

"I dunno," you voiced aloud. You were uncertain what you were trying to say, and you were uncertain as to whether or not you wanted to step foot in this building. 

Minghao rolled his eyes and took you by the bicep to help you up the steps. "Oh, come on. You're here, and I already paid the sitter. Let loose, Yn; it's been two years since you've been to a bar."

"For good reason," you muttered under your breath as you and Minghao caught a slot of the revolving entrance and entered the hotel lobby. 

It even smelled obnoxiously rich in here, you realized with an ill-concealed grimace. All the gold and marble glistening under bright LEDs made your head hurt. Jesus, maybe you did need a drink. 

Like he read your mind, Minghao directed you to the bar just to your right. It was, fortunately, dimly lit, with red velvet floors and walls panelled in smooth, dark wood. You already recognized several familiar faces—this was a reunion of your old uni friends, after all. 

"Oh my god, YN!" Seokmin exclaimed from the pool table, before abandoning his pool stick and racing over to you. 

Junhui was right on your tail, coming up to greet Hao warmly while Seokmin bombarded you in a massive hug. 

"How's Yeona?" Seokmin asked. He grinned at you, hand between your shoulder blades to guide you over to the bar. "She's almost at Terrible Twos, isn't she?" He teased, wagging his eyebrows up and down. 

You laughed with a shake of your head. Seokmin ordered you a light margarita, considering you probably hadn't had a proper drink in ages. "Almost. She's eighteen months right now, so probably in about six months or so. I am not ready for my angel to turn into the devil."

There were only a few people who knew of your daughter's existence. It hadn't been your plan to have her, but some things you could not control completely. It had happened on the night of your college graduation party, and you had finally taken your shot at a certain young man who had plagued your dreams for almost half of your years at university. He was a friend of a friend, but nearly everyone knew who he was, considering his attractive looks and personality and… suffice to say that you fell in the deep end. 

No, the father did not know. And you would be damned if he ever—

"Yn?"

You almost spat out your drink, and Seokmin, with panicky eyes, patted your back to help you get out the feel of the burn down your throat and windpipe. God, that stung. But maybe not as badly as how good he looked. 

Him being Kim Mingyu. Yeah, the father of your child. And he didn't seem to have changed a bit since you last saw him: black hair tamed well, broad and toned body fitted in semi formal wear (delectable), and that charming smile that knocked down all your defenses. At least… a few of them. 

He walked up to you and Seokmin with a look of pleasant surprise and utter disbelief stark on his face. "Oh my god—you're really here? I haven't seen you in so long."

Yeah, you wanted to say, but you couldn't really focus on anything but the sound of your pulsing heartbeat in your ears and the smell of his cologne invading your nostrils as you hugged him. Oh, good god. He feels and smells so good—

When you pulled away, Mingyu was giving Seokmin that weird handshake the boys had (you never asked questions). He still couldn't seem to believe his ears. 

"I—I mean," he stammered, eyes flickering from you to your blouse to you to your lips to you, "you look—" he swallowed, "—really good." He cleared his throat, and you could've sworn you heard Seokmin sneak out a giggle. 

You yourself sat perched on your barstool unnaturally stiff. If you could just make it through this conversation… "Thank you," you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "You look good, too."

There was this moment where neither of you could really get any words out. It hadn't exactly been this way years ago, but you could remember the shy glances mixed with the flirty advances. You knew you harbored that flame for him somewhere, and perhaps you had kept it buried beneath your love and responsibilities toward your daughter. 

Seokmin cut in, "Cool! Uh…" he sipped his drink, brows furrowing, "want a drink, Gyu? Did you come with Wonwoo?"

Mingyu snapped out of his daze, coughing. "Ah, right. Yeah, that'd be great, thanks. And yep, he should be somewhere around—oh yeah. There he is, by Woozi hyung."

While Seokmin flagged the bartender down, Mingyu returned his attention to you. "So, uhm, I feel like I haven't seen you in, like, two or three years. I… How've you been?" Why didn't you stay in touch? Had he done something wrong? He wanted to ask. He'd been sitting on those questions and worries for so long, and no one would give him a straight answer about your whereabouts. 

"I've been good," you answered. And it was true, you couldn't have been happier with Yeona. It had been scary, no doubt, at first. But it had all turned out good and fine, and your close friends had been by your side the entire time. "Just trying to settle back—settle into work and adult things," you chuckled. "How about you? Did you finally decide to get yourself into culinary school?"

Another giggle from Seokmin that the two of you decidedly ignored. 

Mingyu could best be described with heart eyes. "You remembered? That was a fleeting conversation—"

You shrugged, feigning innocence. "But I mean, it was important to you, so of course, I remembered."

He smiled, bashfully, head ducked and cheeks reddening. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did get into a culinary school—"

"And, hey! Great idea: Mingyu should teach you how to cook, Yn!" Minghao's voice cut clean into the conversation as the man himself inserted himself into the little circle. Seokmin passed Mingyu his drink, and Minghao made pointed eyes at you from across the circle, gesturing silently at the man who was your baby daddy. 

Oh for the love of God, Xu Minghao. "I don't think that's really necessary."

"Suuuure, it is!" Minghao said, high pitched. He nodded his head again to Mingyu. "Yn has been meaning to learn some new recipes for her family anyway. Right, Yn?"

You glared at Minghao, and if the sun could be channeled through the eyes, you would use them to burn him alive right where he stood. I am going to murder you! You mouthed to him, over enunciating the words. So this was why he wanted you to be here tonight. Seokmin smartly chose this moment to go say hello to Joshua. 

Mingyu creased his brows. "Oh, er, I didn't know you had a family already, Yn." There was a definitive drop in energy present in his voice. "Are you married?"

If you hadn't been so worried about deciding on how to tell him about his secret child, you would have noticed Mingyu unsubtly searching your hands for a ring. You were not wearing one. 

You swallowed, setting the margarita glass on the bar counter. You saw Minghao back away slowly from the corner of your eye, and Mingyu took Seokmin's old seat. "Ah, I'm not. I just…" have a child, and she's yours, and I've been craving a person to be my partner in this… and maybe I still love you, but I don't know how to tell you. Please don't hate me.

Mingyu ducked his head just slightly so he met your eyes. "Hey, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable. I don't know what Minghao was trying to say back there, but you really don't have to say anything."

"No, it's okay," you said quickly with a shake of your head. "I… I really should tell you about… my daughter. Our daughter." You tried to gauge his reaction, but his expression was carefully blank at this moment. 

A crease formed between his brows. "I'm sorry, did you just say our daughter?"

"Uhm, yes," you laughed nervously. 

"Holy shit—"

"I know—"

Mingyu flagged the bartender. "I am way too sober for this." He suddenly thought better and waved the bartender away with an apology. "Wait, how—how long? Yn, I had a kid this whole time? I have a kid with you?"

You nodded, rubbing your arm. "Yeah. It happened on graduation night. Y'know, when we…"

He pursed his lips. "Yeah, that makes sense." He stared at a random mark on the bar counter. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Mingyu," you said softly. You feared what he would think of you, scared he would still yell at you and reject you. That had probably been your greatest deterrent from telling him—that he would be disgusted with you and your child and turn you away. You just thought it would be better to avoid all of that heartache in full. Even if it meant hiding it all from him. 

"You were probably scared," he replied lowly, "I get it." He roughed a hand through his hair and exhaled sharply. "You've been taking care of her by yourself this whole time? I just—I just wish you would have told me. We could have figured this out together."

He was looking at you now, reaching for your hands to cradle them in his own big palms. You wondered how you ever lived without this warmth. 

You gulped. "You had dreams, Mingyu. I didn't want us to be a burden—"

He scoffed, the noise so indignant and offended. "I'm just wondering what I did to make you think I would ever think you and my own daughter would be a burden to me. It might stall our plans, but it would only stall, Yn. You and…"

"Yeona," you stammered, "her name's Yeona."

Mingyu stopped and a smile slowly tugged at his lips. His eyes shone into the dim light of the bar, and his fingers linked with yours. "Yeona? She already sounds beautiful. Like her mother."

You felt like crying. Years of wondering and what ifs, and it could have all been solved with a conversation. "Do you want to meet her?"

His smile widened. "Do I? How's that even a question, darling?"

You laughed under your breath. "Okay," you nodded to yourself, "okay."

It was then that you realized just how badly you had needed this—this night, this conversation, this hope. Yeona had brought you up, but Mingyu was going to bring you all together. And as the two of you talked and laughed long into the night, neither of you could wait for when your two loves would be able to finally meet each other.

a/n: oh good god i think i liked that ending way more than i intended (not the ending paragraph, i think that was pretty gross, but the happy conclusion ig)

svt m.list

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