#* thank goodness i'm out there risking my life = vol 3+4 *

[flightofaqrow]

@the-gray-maiden from ***

"i know things lot's'a people don't," and he thought that had been made pretty clear between them by this point. ...or had revealing one or two of his own secrets make Lia think she knew the whole story?

"look, Lia. just... be careful out there, alright."

[ruporas]

Esteemed artist, I would love to hear your Trigun thoughts. What specifically? Well, up to you. I saw you have a lot to say in the tags of your art and would love to hear it without the worry of a shadowban

OH..! thank you so much for your curiosity!!!

god, there is SO much to talk about in trigun, i don't even know where to start honestly.

*adding this note after i've finished typing: this is just a whole lot of rambling with unspecified direction. mainly vashwood, mainly trimax

i think the easiest is to open up with vashwood, but if i start with vashwood, not even one post will be enough to encapsulate the layers of love, tragedy, the what-ifs that could've bloomed in-between their travels, their effects on each other, etc etc… and then it also depends on which version of vashwood because the beauty of vashwood is that if you intake all 4 versions (trimax, 98 anime, stampede, badlands rumble), then you get 4 kinds of vashwood that varies in slightly different ways, and i've been incredibly plagued by the brainrot enough to think about them All.

trimax, if not obvious, is my favorite vashwood… though tristamp vashwood is constantly making me lose my mind too -- the original writing and creation of both vash and wolfwood's characters are just so dear to me, even though my gateway into this series started with stampede.

i think the significant portion of my love into vashwood is just how much i love the individual characters themselves; i mean. ok wolfwood started as my favorite character and frankly, i could be argued with that he is my favorite character, but vash is the moooost lovable man ever and a week ago, i was Constantly tearing up thinking about the solitude he faces on the daily; how pre-trimax, he was well and aware of how moment-to-moment his life was and how he can't slow down because he needed to get to knives and thus, he knew any friendships and meaningful connections wouldn't last either… and then beginning of trimax, he got peace for a bit before being forcibly dragged out of it in knowing that knives is out on the move again, but now he has this semi-permanent companion alongside him, someone who follows him and is Really good at sticking by him, so even if vash tried to run, just as he tried to shrug off the insurance girls before, it's not possible against wolfwood.

and this could go into a whole thing about how initially, vash viewed wolfwood as someone that was just following him, trailing alongside him, unwantingly by vash because it really just brings more risk to wolfwood and that's not something vash wants. he reluctantly starts to accept wolfwood's companionship after vol 3 because it was the first time he did literally try to abandon wolfwood (and failed), and as they gradually continued on this journey and learnt more about each other and fought side by side, vash developed a trust that wolfwood would be there no matter what.

though by vol 6-7, vash suffered the most immense loneliness of his life and not even his trust in wolfwood could really shake that loneliness, esp during that chapter where he had asked wolfwood if he was a guide, and hearing wolfwood's affirmative yes, imo, disheartened him, because he might've been hoping to hear something more… like a friend…! but wolfwood is PACKED with guilt and as much as he loved vash at that point and time, he knew that at the end of the day, he was still leading him to knives, as originally intended. how could he call vash as something more, something so personal and dear when that was a mission he hasn't abandoned? they just make me so ill, BUT ANYWAY… inevitably, i ramble about vashwood.

though, i do want to say also… it's funny to receive a question like this since you mention just trigun in general..! i was rereading pre-trimax and end of trimax just yesterday. i honestly don't think i'm good at grasping the overarching messages of stories, so my wording here may butcher the beautiful ending that trimax gives; but i am so floored constantly by stories that dive deep into giving the feeling of hope through the efforts of a collective and highlights connections and love between individuals… i think i remember reading nightow describing trigun as a story that shows all kinds of love and i really enjoy that. from familial love to platonic to romantic… i am blinded by shipping bias but frankly, nightow left SO many clues about the implied romance between vashwood all these years ago, So. taking their romance as canon with Pride.

i talk about vashwood a lot, but the bonds shared between vash and meryl, wolfwood and milly are also so important to me -- by extension, vash & milly, wolfwood & meryl too; this little group dubbed peace & love gang because all 4 of them fight for and believe in a future of peace & love so vehemently. the way they care for people and the kindness they embody… and the support they give each other…!!! it's unfortunate that trimax didn't give as much highlight to these 4 as a group, but nightow always leaves enough crumbs for me to snatch up and just start building my own headcanons about them… i want to elaborate on them more, but i'm hoping i can draw it out first one day!! i really like them!

but ok, i think i rambled enough DFMGKSMHKS i'm sorry i didn't really dive into specifics. if there are any specifics you or anyone would like my insights on, feel free to ask and i'll do my best to answer..! i don't think i'm much of an elaborate analyzer or anything, i just Love to ramble about my favorite things. i've considered making a side blog just to dedicate to my ramblings, but it is a really brave thing to do, so i'm not sure yet!

but thank you again for this ask and i really appreciate knowing others read my silly tags!!

[tylerwritez]

3:38 p.m. Wednesday June 30 2021

Song reccomendation:

Hey guys. We went to the mall again because it's too hot to go outside. I l1fted a bit but I did buy a blue and purple tie dyed tank top for summer and a Slayer shirt from the hot topic.

We had funsies, me and my friend were chatting and stuff. Not much to say.

I'm feeling sucky now cos we got lunch at the italianos store and I wanted to get Dulce De Leche because what's the point of going to the italianos if ur leaving with NO dulce de leche....?? Its so yummy. My mom said yes but my 11 YEAR OLD SISTER LIKE FLIPPED OVER THE CAN AND READ OFF THE GRAMS OF SUGAR AND CALORIES!!!!! liKE WHAT??? ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS JESUS!!!!!! thanks for triggering my uh disordered eating...  cos after that I wanted to cry and I just put the can back and remembered how fat I am and I ALMSOT HAD A BREAKDOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE LIKE IT WAS THE WORST FEELING...

Now I'm worried about my CaLoRieS and jesus it's the worst feeling... thanks sister who is eleven and REALLY MEAN?? she literally calls me short fat and ugly all the time... I think my mom and sister make me the most insecure. My mom is always ragging on what I eat how much I eat what time I eat it's the WORST PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE???? like I'm trying. You think I don't ALREADY feel bad??? Like okay way to shame your HEALTHY BMI (bmi 22) child for... eating a sandwich for lunch? I can't even. Like YEAH IM A BIT CHUBBY BUT IT HURTS MY FEELINGS FOR Y'ALL TO POINT IT OUT COS IVE BEEN INSECURE MY WHOLE LIFE AND I JUST CAN'T EVEN. I CAN'T.

.... but we had fun at the mall. So yeah.

I think I ended up l1fting like, a choker, some masks (for covid), fake nails (for my sister), and some hair bands (since my hair is crazy in the morning and always gets in my eyes)

Also some mentos XD but I won't be eating those since I feel like shitttt thanks family ily ♡ /s no I don't

Also that stuff I was talking about being upset over the divorce? Last night? I'm better now so dw.

.... I'm ravenously hungry right nowwww  but. We are going to ignore that. Because hungry is good. Itz good to be hungry it means you're on the right track and if you stay hungry long enough you DO lose weight. You just gotta stay hungry. ALSO, ALSO IM TRYING TO AVOID BLOATING because if I bloat then I get insecure with no top on,,, and it's hot out, so what I wanna do is keep my tummy flat ALL DAY so I can wear like just my sports bra or smthn... i hate saying that I'm wearing a bra but like thAt's what it is if I called it anything else I'd confuse you.

If you're on this blog for the first time,,, I'm MALE, so like don't just assume I'm a girl.

I feel like I dont pass enough but also I dont really mind? Like people keep calling me a girl but I dont see it? I personally dont think I look feminine??

.... I guess when I'm naked... JAY.

and when I dont bind, and my voice, but that's about it.

Also uhm. I'm kinda a kleptomaniac. I'm gonna check the diagnostic criteria for that because... I sorta l1ft every time I go out. Even if I dont NEED anything. It's not a problem, since I'm not getting caught, but it's still a CRIME and I should try and slow it down a bit.

At least I'm not HAULING as much as I used to.... I would FILL my mfing backpack, bro. I would go nuts. So I gotta try n be more careful so I don't get caught. I take too many risks... sex!!!!, theivery!!!!, and light drugs.

But isnt that what being 15 is about? Idk. I'll post pics of what I l1fted to my l1fting blog after I remove the metadata/exit data (location data) so I don't get doxxed...

Also I dont know if I told yall this but I might get contact lenses :) I think glasses make me look ugly so i dont wanna wear em. Also i hate having em on my face all the time it's just plain annoying.

4:18 p.m. update: okay so we're going home.

My mom is being kinda annoying shes like mocking me... Whateverrrrrrrrr idc. Jay is at his friends house rn, Eden is busy and Erin proabably won't come if Eden doesn't come so I guess I'm resigned to biking alone tonight.... probabaly after I pack all my shit of course.

11:20 a.m. update:

I didn't end up going biking... we took the bottles to the bottle depot, I got 20 bucks, and so did my sister even though she didnt even come :P

I got home and just went online. I was scouring Encyclopedia Metallum for any good active local metal bands that I could potentially see live in a concert in my city! 

I ate okay today, kinda ate more than I intended to before I slept because I was so hungry :| willpower 0 (zero)

Anyways I ate to maintain today :/ which is okay I guess.

I'm a bit upset since my dad was crying about the divorce and like I tried to comfort him and said it's okay to cry and stuff but... MAN THATS PAINFUL.... and like... shouldnt it be the other way around? I hate this. I hate everyone feeling bad. And I hate having to be so grown up.

Oh well... I was always the hound of hell, not the lamb of god.

4:15 a.m. update

Everyone wants to hang out with me XD so I gotta ask about that

Roadtrip soon.

Idk, not much to say.

I'm uh, listening to MUSIC right now. I love music and I wanna play bass again. I also feel very insecure and want to cut my junk off so that's fun.

:P

Goodnight ig

[flightofaqrow]

❝  i’m still a person!  they all look at me like i’m some intangible being who will save them.  i’m just one person.  ❞

superheroes ** not accepting

as he looks down from the window of quite literally an ivory emerald tower, qrow would scoff if it didn't hurt his heart so much to see Salem this way; if the pinching of his lips from all the pain in a voice usually so steady and coy didn't shut them up first.

a moment of weakness. that's all it was. and unlike how he was raised, qrow believes people should be allowed to have them, express them. even Salem- an immortal being who he knew was no less human, no matter that most others were not allowed to see that side. not anymore than they were allowed the rest of her truths.

he doesn't hesitate to tell her his, "y'sit on top of th' pedestal y'built an' called a beacon. it's courtyard 's full of statues... memorials of idyllic heroes in their greatest moments. what'd y'expect but for people t'look up t'ya for answers, Sale?"

she sold them an image, and they believed it, believed in her. wasn't that a headmistress's job?

qrow takes a drink from his flask and looks back through the glass, at the coming and going. the happy kids. the looming threats. he hears the static of screens from the council's last call still dispersing off into the air.

had they worked so long in the shadows that they're starting to fade from even each other?

"you're still a person, but you're not just one person," he turns to her, finally, rough and frayed tones in contrast with soft red eyes, "you're a person whose got th' rest of us backin' you up."

working together to keep the peace. wasn't that always the point?

[flightofaqrow]

to a depth of frustration and concern which Lia may never understand but qrow can't blame her for - neither of those mockeries were funny to him. yet she said them with a straight face and her whole chest, and totally had him in the first half.

cheeky.

...before the offer of help softens his features and gets the gears in his head turning.

"actually," he rubs fingers over his beard, "i am looking for someone." the thought escapes his lips not fully formed, and trails off to silence. how to explain without giving away too much...?

"Then how about you share with the class." Lia pointed out. Everyone has their secrets she knew that.

"I will blindly charge in to the next large grimm I see." She joked. "Don't worry Qrow I will do my best. Is there anything I can do help. Send messages or contact some people?"

[flightofaqrow]

tag refresh, verses

[flightofaqrow]

nursemaid

qrow + Glynda ( @professor-goodwitch​​ )

“You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“offerin’ t’be m’nursemaid, huh?”

“I’ll eventually be if you keep drinking. At least hydrate every once in a while.”

qrow lets a glass of water fill at the sink, while also filling a glass back up with whiskey while he waits. slouching back into his seat, he pours down a mouthful of each liquid, childishly quirking an eyebrow at Glynda as if to say good enough?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“what else’s’new? soun’s like tom’row’s probl’m t’me,” he slurs, and downs another swallow just to spite her. it’s not like they were still in a meeting. work’s over; which makes it all the confusing why Glynda’s still here, why she feels the need to lecture him tonight out of all nights. “…un’ls yer offerin’ t’be m’nursemaid, huh?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s unsurprising that he’d take another swig of his flask during a conversation like this. All she could do was just watch this bird get himself drunk.

“ I’ll eventually be if you keep drinking.” She rolled her eyes and casually slips a glass of water in front of him. “ At least hydrate every once in a while.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

qrow pouts, “yeah, tha’s wha’Raven alwayssaid too.” and that jolt of fresh longing just makes more feelings to drown out for tonight.

he lets a glass of water fill at the sink, while also filling a glass back up with whiskey while he waits. slouching back into his seat, he pours down a mouthful of each liquid, childishly quirking an eyebrow at Glynda as if to say good enough?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“ I figured.” Glynda sighed, eyeing her colleague seeing if he’ll take her water offer or not. Sadly it was common for the huntress to see her fellow huntsmen like this. His unnecessary debacle with the Schnee Operative was enough to proof.

She rolled her eyes seeing him down a drink anyway. “ At least you got a bit of water in you.” She sighed. “ Will you even be sober enough for your next mission?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“alw’ys am, Glyn. s’not even startin’ for a coupl’a days,” he leans back, letting the chair envelop him, trying to go to his happy drunk place. her voice chiding in his ear made it difficult to truly float away. he takes another gulp of water. maybe if he emptied that glass she’d get off his back about the other.

“sr’sly, why y’carin’ s'much t’nite? ain’t special.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“ Of course, using the few days before your mission to get drunk and sober, over and over again is the best way to prepare.” She said sarcastically before shaking her head, turning to her colleague.

“You don’t really need to ask me why I care Qrow.” Glynda sighed, staring as he gulped his water. “ I’m just… looking out for you, that’s all.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

she grossly overestimates the sober half of that plan.

qrow rolls his eyes, “lis’n, ju’s ‘cause i nev’r hada mum, does’n mean ya need’ta fill th’spot.”

more water, while she’s here watching. man, he’s gonna have to piss so bad, all at once at the most awful time, he just knows it. a finger twirls in the air, as much a distraction as accenting gesture, “ain’ the point’a days off t’have a g’d time, huh?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“ I don’t have to be your mother to tell you that you’ve had too much to drink. You’re an adult that can take care of himself but– even I know dousing your system with too much alcohol could be too much for you.” Glynda’s expression looked more worried than upset at this point. She didn’t have her usual strict demeanor in her while looking at Qrow,

“ Ever tried using your days off to I don’t know… be sober and rest?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“nope.”

slurring stops for one moment of perfect pronunciation to get his point across. he tires of this conversation, never asked for it. qrow harms no one, not right now, not directly, anyway - too lost to the winds to even care about being a disappointment any longer.

nowhere in qrow’s world can sober and rest come at the same time.

sooner Glynda gets that through her dainty, demanding little head the better. the more she argues, the more vodka and less water he dumps down his throat out of pure spite.

“buh’ sorry sr’y,” he waves arbitrary motions in the air, “m’bad for think’n you’d know anythin’boutta g’d time, M’ss Pr’ss!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Glynda sighed, watching Qrow hydrate himself. She knew he didn’t like it but if she was going to get some water in his system then she was fine with them. There was no doubt the drinking had come from somewhere yet she had no place to ask him or even dwell into the reason.

A man needs his drink for different reasons after all.

A few seconds past after contemplating on a thought she had, her hand is now raised pulling his glass of whiskey to her own hand. One would think she’d throw it away but no, instead she takes a sip of his whiskey then returns it with a slight bitter look on her face, before shaking it off.

“Man that was strong..”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

well, that wakes qrow right up.

here he stands, albeit wobbly, ready to walk right out after one more attempt at discipline or if Glynda had moved on to questioning. no plan to answer to anything or anyone, he’d leave and never look back.

instead, red eyes pop open in surprise, then shrink to match a smirk spreading across wet lips. his reflexes too inhibited to stop her from stealing the glass, and he never saw it coming. didn’t think Glynda of all people would fold so easily to his little taunt.

but she does. keeps him from leaving by stepping down to join him in current vice. maybe she’s capable of having fun after all.

he throws his head back and guffaws at the scowl on her face, unused to things so messy and bitter. snorting sounds interrupt with pitchy hiccups, and a fist comes up over his mouth; qrow unable to contain himself.

“yeah, tha’ss’th’ point,” he doesn’t accept the return; lets her keep the glass, and swipes the bottle to refill and continue from his flask instead, “fin’sh it. I dare’ya!”

he misses a decent percentage of his pour into the tiny metal mouth, spilling a puddle over the counter.

terrible influence.

[flightofaqrow]

tag refresh, verses

[flightofaqrow]

@sunguns​ sent: 

"I'm gonna call you a ghost, 'cause you hover with the best of 'em and you keep trying to disappear."

qrow sighs and looks at the ground, distracted from spying around the corner to turn and face the voice behind him. where does this kid keep coming from?

his voice growls, “an’ you keep showin’ up when i’m tryn’a work. disappearing’s part’a th’ gig, you get that?”

maybe he didn’t. he was still a student, after all. one of those nearly hopeless tournament round ones, too. still a lot to learn.