#* muse {jadzia dax}

[walkingstackofbooks]

Julian can't really explain why he misses his mum, after she leaves the station, but now she's gone, there's just some sort of... absence, he can't put his finger on.

He finds himself daydreaming about how she'd always used to sit herself down next to him, and pull him in for a hug, holding onto him no matter how much he'd wriggle or try to squirm away. And it's not like he wants that - even the past few days, he knows he's disappointed her in his need to get away - but at the same time... he wants. He doesn't know what he wants, but there's something, some need just tugging at him...

He paces around his room as he thinks, before sinking down against a wall, pulling his legs tightly against his chest. He's been doing that more, recently, too. He's not sure why - it's not exactly comfortable, and he doesn't have the words to explain how it does make him feel. More solid, perhaps. Less... less Julian, actually. Less pressure, less doctor-this, doctor-that; less war and secrets and fear. More Jules.

--

A couple of days later, after the others find out— (because it's been a week, now, but Sisko was kind enough to grant him some time to process it all, before he told them. Not that he's processed it yet, hah, and he's sitting in Quark's terrified that his friends are going to come down from Sisko's office and find him and tell him it's over, they can't be friends with an augment. Maybe they've even persuaded Miles, made him see how wrong his reaction was to try and support Julian...)

— after the others find out, Jadzia walks into Quark's and makes a beeline for him. She squeezes into the booth, right up next to him, and puts an arm around him, and all at once he wants to push her away, or start crying, or both, and he doesn't know why, because he also never, ever wants to let go of her.

[kyliafanfiction]

I think in a different Universe, Bashir could have had a chance with Jadzia.

I'm glad he didn't, and they went a different route with her, but I do think the potential existed, under different circumstances.

[ofaflower]

muse tags.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Just rewatched this scene again and actually it's terrifyingly easy?! I'm honestly not certain if Quark didn't accidentally trigger Julian here 😅

Like, he totally switches from confidently playing, to suddenly going still and quiet - the kind of body language that in other episodes (DBIP, Prodigal Daughter, even Inquisition) I would label as "sick with anxiety", if not "10 seconds away from a panic attack". And by the end of the game Julian is ridiculously out of it - that's not just "lack of focus", right?

The ease to which Quark emotionally manipulates Julian into losing his tongo game is insane 😂 like he's being so obvious about it too

[startrekroleplay]

Directory Updated - June 26, 2023

View the full directory here. To be added to the directory, view the post linked here.

This directory is large and likely to contain errors. Please notify us of any mistakes, either in this update post or in the directory itself, and we will do our best to correct them.

* denotes a multimuse blog ^ denotes a canon divergent muse ~ denotes a genderbent muse

ADDITIONS - CANON CHARACTERS

Original Series, Alternate Original Series, & Strange New Worlds

James Kirk - @ofstarfleet *

Nyota Uhura - @ofstarfleet *

Original Series, Alt Original Series, Strange New Worlds, & Discovery

Christopher Pike - @ofstarfleet *

Spock - @ofstarfleet *

Original Series & Alt Original Series

Leonard McCoy - @heartsteered, @ofstarfleet *

Hikaru Sulu - @ofstarfleet *

Next Generation & Picard

Beverly Crusher - @storiest0ld *

Data - @ofstarfleet *

Geordi La Forge - @ofstarfleet *

Deanna Troi - @storiest0ld *

Deep Space Nine

Julian Bashir - @dimensionalspades *, @ofstarfleet *

Ezri Dax - @ofstarfleet *

Jadzia Dax - @ofstarfleet *

Odo - @ofstarfleet *

Voyager & Prodigy

Kathryn Janeway - @ofstarfleet *, @storiest0ld *

Enterprise

Jonathan Archer - @ofstarfleet *

T'Pol - @ofstarfleet *

Discovery

Michael Burnham - @ofstarfleet *

Strange New Worlds

Una Chin-Riley - @ofstarfleet *

Joseph M'Benga - @ofstarfleet *

Erica Ortegas - @ofstarfleet *

ADDITIONS - ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

Cheyanna Wyatt - @dreamsofalife

REMOVALS

@counselorlake - inactivity

@gnosticpriesthood - inactivity

grudgethequeen - deactivated

ltfreckles - deactivated

@scottyland - inactivity

[virtuousfuta]

New Test Muses

DC: Huntress (Helena Bertinelli) Raven (Rachel Roth) Starfire (Koriand'r) Final Fantasy: Neon Sophia Fire Emblem: Titania Genshin Impact: Amber Eula Jean Mona Granblue Fantasy: Katalina The Legend of Heroes: Alisa Reinford Claire Rieveldt Elie MacDowell Emma Millstein Estelle Bright Laura S. Arseid Rixia Mao MARVEL: Black Cat (Felicia Hardy) Captain Carter (Peggy Carter) Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) Crystal Emma Frost Gwen Stacy Invisible Woman (Susan Storm) Jubilee (Jubilation Lee) Kate Bishop Magik (Illyana Rasputin) Maria Hill The Mighty Thor (Jane Foster) Psylocke (Elizabeth "Betsy" Braddock) Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) Sharon Carter Sharon Rogers Silk (Cindy Moon) Wasp (Janet Van Dyne) X-23 (Laura Kinney) Yelena Belova My Hero Academia: Nejire Hado Star Trek: Beverly Crusher (Alt FC: Rachel McAdams) Christine Chapel (FC: Jess Bush) Jadzia Dax (Alt FC: Zoey Deutch) Jamie Kirk (FC: Emily VanCamp) Star Wars: Brianna (FC: Adelaide Kane) Jaina Solo (FC: Kaya Scodelario) Jyn Erso Meetra Surik (FC: Jennifer Lawrence) Qi'ra Revan (FC: Brie Larson) Valkyria Chronicles: Alicia Melchiott Kai Schulen Minerva Victor Riley Miller Selvaria Bles

[paragonofvirtue]

New Test Muses

Assassin’s Creed: Kassandra DC: Huntress (Helena Bertinelli) Raven (Rachel Roth) Starfire (Koriand'r) Dynasty Warriors: Guan Yinping Sun Shang Xiang Wang Yuanji Zhen Ji Final Fantasy: Neon Sophia Fire Emblem: Titania Genshin Impact: Amber Eula Jean Mona Granblue Fantasy: Djeeta Katalina Hololive: Mori Calliope Ouro Kronii The Legend of Heroes: Alisa Reinford Claire Rieveldt Elie MacDowell Emma Millstein Estelle Bright Laura S. Arseid Rixia Mao MARVEL: Black Cat (Felicia Hardy) Black Panther (T'Challa) Captain America (Steve Rogers) Captain Carter (Peggy Carter) Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) Crystal Emma Frost Gambit (Remy LeBeau) Gwen Stacy Hawkeye (Clint Barton) Invisible Woman (Susan Storm) Jubilee (Jubilation Lee) Kate Bishop Wolverine (Logan) Magik (Illyana Rasputin) Maria Hill The Mighty Thor (Jane Foster) Psylocke (Elizabeth “Betsy” Braddock) Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) Scot Summers (Cyclops) Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) Sharon Carter Sharon Rogers Silk (Cindy Moon) Thor Wasp (Janet Van Dyne) X-23 (Laura Kinney) Yelena Belova My Hero Academia: Nejire Hado RWBY: Sun Wukong Star Trek: Beverly Crusher Christine Chapel Jadzia Dax Jamie Kirk Star Wars: Brianna Jaina Solo Jyn Erso Meetra Surik Qi'ra Revan Valkyria Chronicles: Alicia Melchiott Kai Schulen Minerva Victor Riley Miller Selvaria Bles

[moonshadowed]

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” The Trill asks, seemingly apropos of nothing, looking the other over with a mischievous twinkle in their eyes. “Very good friends, right?” She’s up to something.

[atpiraet]

tags

[capsfromtrek]

[lovepersists2]

@lifedeathpeacewar​ sent:  ❝ He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. ❞ (Sovua for Jadzia)

“that’s a little....”   head cranes,  just slightly,  so she can look more directly on the retreating form of the cardassian tailor,   “morbid.”   dax decides finally,  gaze shifting back to the caitian,   “i’d expect that sort of thing from the bajorans,  maybe  ---  not to say it isn’t understandable all around,  but there are plenty of people you could say the same thing about,  don’t you think?  i’m just curious at where the thought comes from.  i’m not saying you’re wrong,”   jadzia offers another glance,  as if to punctuate the curiosity,  though garak’s out of sight by now,   “i’m just fascinated.”

kid gorgeous   ||   accepting!

[walkingstackofbooks]

Julian wasn't certain why, exactly, he was pulling away from Garak, but ever since their return for the gamma quadrant, that was definitly what he was doing. He'd never minded Garak's small, discrete touches before - in fact, he'd courted them: a hand on his back, the brush of their shoulders - but now, he found, he couldn't stand them.

Having no explanation for why, though, he took to avoiding the Cardassian entirely, rather than risk facing questions he could not answer. He ignored the growing guilt, too, for whatever reasons Garak would be coming up with for this new turn in their relationship. He was just taking time, he reasoned to himself, and that was fair enough, wasn't it?

On the other hand, Julian knew exactly why he was avoiding Miles. While he wondred if he was maybe overreacting, his friend's comment had cut him deeply, and it was obvious that Miles hadn't even thought twice about it. So it was logical, really, for Julian to take time off from their darts evenings and holosuite sessions. If Miles had found him difficult to get along with before, what would he make of this new Julian that had returned from the camp, who seemed to have had any light, positive thing ripped out of him by the Dominion?

--

His closest friends shut off from him, Julian found his refuge in Jadzia. Not purposefully - he'd assumed, with Worf's injuries, she'd be looking after her partner - but the Klingon, seemingly, hadn't wanted to be doted on, so Jadzia had found someone else to be her target. Namely, Julian.

He wasn't going to complain. Her hugs were warm and her smiles were soft and Julian could let his guard down, a little, around her. Not completely, of course - there were more than a few things he didn't want getting back to the captain, lest he find his leave of duty extended even further - but enough to allow him to feel truly relaxed, at times.

Quite quickly, it became normal for him to spend the evenings in her quarters, not really doing much, but not needing to do much, either. Worf often joined them— although, really, on those nights, Julian felt as though he were joining them, and wondered how much the Klingon resented his constant intrusions into his and Jadzia's alone time. Jadzia didn't stop asking him over, though, and Julian couldn't bring himself to refuse, no matter what Worf's unspoken feelings might be.

As it happened, he was mistaken, anyway. One night, Martok appeared for dinner, greeting Julian loudly and immediately taking the seat next to him. Julian stiffened, fearing the resurgence of memories from the camp, or that inexplicable urge to withdraw, that Martok's presence might bring out. Neither came, though, and he didn't even flinch when Martok brought a heavy hand to land on his shoulder. The evening all but flew by, and when it was time to leave, Julian surprised himself by accepting the Klingon's offer to walk him back to his quarters. He was quiet company - despite Julian's best efforts, he was still not good company, after the camp - but Martok was kind enough not to point this out.

The general became a regular guest after that, to Julian's muted delight. Muted, since in reality, it was more a dim awareness that Martok's presence pleased him, more than anything else. But even more than it did Jadzia, an unmistakeable sense of safety emanated off the large Klingon, and Julian could hardly believe that he was invited to share in it - and more, that all three of them seemed willing to put up with Julian, evening after evening.

He would find out much later that it was Worf's orchestrations that had brought Martok to their table - Worf the pragmatist, the romantic - who was already looking forward to the day when Jadzia might agree to join the House of Martok, and saw in Julian an opportunity to smooth the way. Jadzia laughed as she told him how her husband had hoped that Julian's admiration of Martok would rub off in her, and that his fondness for her would influence the general in return - and how apparently, Worf's plan had worked! Julian laughed too, glad to discover that he hadn't been quite as useless a guest as he'd imagined himself to be at the time.

--

After the debacle with his parents, and the discovery that his life hadn't actually imploded, Julian finally went to confront Miles. He couldn't quite figure out how he felt about the way Miles had been so supportive two nights before, but the fact was that Miles had been overwhelmingly supportive, even if Julian had only realised afterwards how much, once the shock had worn off enough for him to start thinking about anything other than his own feelings.

So he went to the chief's quarters and rang the chime, and Miles welcomed him in with a worried smile and an assurance that Keiko and the kids were all out and so did Julian want to talk? Are you alright?

Julian faced him bravely. "Do you think I'm difficult to get along with?" he asked.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't for Miles to straighten with a scowl, vibrating with anger, demanding, "Are people giving you trouble about your enhancements?"

Julian wasn't sure how to answer that, because yes of course some people had, but it wasn't that big a deal, and besides, that wasn't what he'd been asking. So he shook his head, backtracking.

"I meant— You said, the changeling was easier to get along with..."

In an instant, Miles' face had shuttered, falling completely. "Shit," he said, looking for all the world like Julian had just punched him in the gut. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

Julian nodded uncertainly.

"Fuck," said Miles, wiping a hand over his face. "Shit, Julian, it was a joke, it was— I never thought you'd take it seriously. If I'd have known... I'm sorry, Julian. God. I'm sorry."

A joke. Of course it had been a joke. That's what he and Miles did, joke and jibe and pretend their feelings ran no deeper than that. He really had been overreacting.

"Well, I don't know... it's pretty difficult to get along with someone who avoids you for weeks over a joke," he tried quipping, but his voice came out devoid of humour, and he winced as Miles' face fell even further.

"God, no, that's not what I meant at all - it was a stupid thing to say, I should have known that. You're not— that's not— You're my friend, Julian..."

Miles trailed off, seemingly unable to meet Julian's eyes. It was strange, his words should have made Julian feel better, but Julian wasn't sure that they had. His chest was still thrumming with anxiety, he still felt kind of tight and sick and damn it, earlier he'd known why Miles made him feel like that, but now— now he didn't.

"Fuck. It really upset you, didn't it?" Miles asked quietly. "But why— why tell me now? After all this time..?"

Julian shrugged. "I had to know," he said. "After my parents... you know. The other evening, some of the things you said - they just, I don't know. Seemed like something a friend would say—"

"Fuck," Miles said again. "Fuck, Julian. Shit, if you feel like that, I—"

He broke off, his face lighting up with an idea. "Julian?" he asked, quickly. "The research Zimmerman did on you - do you think he still has it? Do you think we could hack into it?"

"I-I don't know," stammered Julian, the sudden change in topic putting him at a loss. "Why?"

Miles shook his head. "I'll explain if I manage to do it," he said.

--

The next day, Julian got a message from Miles. I hate sending you this, it said, but I definitely couldn't do this in person. Attached was a audio clip, which, when he clicked on it, played Zimmerman's voice, then Miles'. This was the answer the the hacking question, then, Julian presumed.

He ended up playing it on repeat, feeling quite awful that he'd ever doubted his friend.

"...the truth is he's an extraordinary person. A real sense of honour and integrity, great sense of humour, warm, caring. You're sure he's not going to hear this?"

[kyliafanfiction]

Is it bad that I *kinda* ship Jadzia and Bashir? Like, I feel like they could have worked, under different circumstances?

[crimsonsunsets]

muses added ( and tag drop ):

benjamin sisko (fc: avery brooks)

 trammel tucker (fc: jenna coleman - star trek oc)(

[dreambuilt]

.｡.:*☆   @starraised   ☆   jadzia & nerys!   ☆

“i was not flirting with him!”   an indignant scoff,  and a pause,   “he was flirting with me.  it’s completely different,”

[ofwildernxsshomed]

Tag Dump - Muses