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meamiki · 2 months ago

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mira !!! :]

#isat #in stars and time #isat mirabelle #isat spoilers #<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well #one of these miras is not like the other #one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA #a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D #so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue #the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms #i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL #side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA #funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA #mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but #the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf #or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm #but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events #which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king #and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA #but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally #one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]

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stephantom · 4 months ago

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I’d need to watch it again to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure that Thomas Becket is the only character who independently initiates touch with Henry?

There are plenty of people whom Henry touches, and it’s almost always possessive or threatening: the villager woman in the first flashback scene, the Saxon peasant girl (and possibly the old man? I think he prods at both of them with his riding crop), Gwendolen (holding her shoulders/neck), the French prostitute (kissing, leaning over, sitting on, slapping her butt), his sons (pushing and kicking them), the bishop (strangling), his barons (clutching onto one, tapping one’s head to indicate his vapidness), and Thomas too—(clasping his shoulders when he realizes Thomas is hurt, holding his hand to put on the chancellor ring).

Interestingly, I don’t think we ever see Henry touch or be touched by his mother or his wife. There’s the moment when he grabs/kicks their needlework, and later on he knocks all the plates off the table, possibly vaguely in their direction—so there are two physical interactions which are violent but still sort of… distant? And still the direction is just Henry to them (in terms of physicality, anyway—verbally, they do initiate conversations/fights with him).

Does anyone touch Henry? There are the monks who whip him in the end, but Henry has ordered them to do it. Likewise, there’s the servant/valet/page who begins to wipe him dry in the bath scene, but again, that’s someone performing a duty. Thomas Becket though, cuts in and takes over the drying, and the dialogue tells us explicitly that he’s not expected to do this, and doesn’t have to (“You’re a nobleman—why do you play at being my valet?”) but Becket seemingly wants to do it, and he knows Henry likes how he does it: enthusiastically, confidently, warmly, and freely (“No one does it like you, Thomas”). He towels Henry’s head, helps Henry put on his boots, and then casually uses Henry’s legs to push himself up to stand.

There’s the scene in Henry’s tent, after the French prostitute has left and the two of them are sitting on the bed: Becket sort of leans in and briefly clasps Henry’s arm where it’s lying in his lap, casually and warmly.

There’s also the getaway horse ride, where Becket is holding onto Henry, arms wrapped around him, and they’re both laughing and smiling. Henry’s shirt actually falls open a little and Becket’s hand winds up on his bare torso.

And then there are the thwarted attempts at touch, after the split: the two scenes where Henry accuses Becket of not loving him. Both times, Becket moves toward Henry and reaches out to touch him, and both times, Henry moves away and tells him to keep his distance.

They’re quick little things, but if they are actually the only instances of anyone touching Henry affectionately (or even of their own volition) that we see over the course of the movie, it does support an impression of Henry as fundamentally isolated—maybe there is truth to his claim that Becket is the only person who’s ever loved him.

What’s tragic is that 1) Henry doesn’t really know how to express love himself (see: Henry expressing nothing but violence and entitlement to everyone else around him, and even to Becket for the most part), and 2) Becket’s love, albeit huge in Henry’s world, is conflicted and unfulfilling—for both of them.

Becket might be the only person who’s dared to reach out to Henry and meet him on something close to a human level, and Henry loves him for it, but why does Becket do it? Part of it may just be an instinct of Becket’s to fulfill a need where he sees one, if he can, and if it benefits him. I think it’s so interesting that Henry seems obsessed with the question of whether Thomas really loves him, when it seems the truth might be that Thomas actually doesn’t know; maybe it’s an unanswerable, even nonsensical question to him. Like, what else could he do? I don’t know. “Insofar as I was capable of love, yes I did [love you].” But the fact that his last words, unwitnessed and private, are, “Poor Henry.” Fuck me up.

Ok, that last paragraph got away from me and now I can’t stop. Tempted to draw comparisons to “Beauty and the Beast” (this is a sad version where no magical transformation happens… unless you take a particular Catholic stance and consider that both of them maybe took real solace and meaning in Thomas being made a saint and that Henry maybe found real absolution through his penance).

I also want to compare all of this to “The Lion in Winter”, where it feels like, rather than a story about one lonely monster in a castle full of people he sees as objects, it’s a whole microcosm of traumatized and power-hungry people, reaching out for power and security and love and stabbing each other in the back, over and over. (Like, of course his mother and wife and kids have complex feelings for him—some of which involve love!) I think that depiction is better and less myopic, more true to life and probably a more accurate portrait of the historical figures involved (even when it comes to Henry and Becket—Becket was of that world too, after all), but I think I’ve rambled enough about all of this, so I’m going to end this post now. I’ll just say that there’s something nevertheless appealing about the boiled-down fairytale melodrama of “no one else ever loved me but you!”

#this entire post (tag ramble and all) was in my Drafts for like 3 months. it’s a lot of words that don’t say much but I’m setting it free ->#and now a new epiphany #henry is just the fucking phantom of the opera again isn’t he lmao #the original blorbo #(for me I mean)#which makes thomas christine and god… is raoul.. :/#maybe it’s a hot take to call becket a simple fairytale melodrama lol #it has its complexities… there’s… spirituality and politics #(although idk if the film is actually that interested in the matter of the separation of church vs state)#there’s the entire thing about oppressive hierarchal social structures and whether love is possible within such a structure #and if it’s not possible to escape and not possible to love in it then is love even a meaningful concept? is this becket’s issue?#in the dvd commentary peter otoole was so unconcerned with / unaware of a marxist and feminist reading of it that I was baffled #and had to realize that I was seeing that by default but that it’s not like. actually the default or Correct meaning #the co-commentator tries to go down that direction talking about Henry’s mistreatment of Becket and Gwendolen #and then he asks otoole if he thought that was reading into it too much and otoole is like ‘yes lol’ so .#his take seemed almost existentialist? like the tragedy of henry and thomas is that they are bound to different Roles in the world #and that they simply couldn’t be otherwise even though parts of them wanted it to be different #because they’ve chosen different paths different meaning to fulfill (but are aligned in a way by becket’s death/ascension)#and that is definitely a huge aspect of it #becket’s line: ‘we must do—absurdly—what we have been given to do’#hmm #anyway clearly I’m fucking insane now so #have this I guess . or don’t lol. goodnight #I’m giving myself a d+ for this tumblr.com paper #becket #peter o’toole as henry ii cinematic universe

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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 4 months ago

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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens

#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not #tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been #having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was #originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to #go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night #and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth #fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god #but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing #that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much #but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt #running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected #by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution #will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad #obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours #is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have #things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have #suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one

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muirmarie · 11 months ago

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i'm going to finish this one by this weekend - it's like. ehhh half done at 4.5k rn - and then i'm going to write something extremely without plot. zero plot. very short. just vibes. i mean i chose to write this next for a reason, bc it wouldn't leave my head, so it's fine, but also. if i write something 1-3k i can write it in a night. if i write something 4k+ it takes me like three times as long as it should bc i don't have the option to just power thru lmao and i get so easily distracted tbh

#stretching that writing muscle tag #i do find it takes me a lot more words to tell a story now but i genuinely cannot tell if that's a bad thing or ~meh #like my bbt multiverse fic was ~10k and that was jam packed and EXTREMELY solid???#and i do wonder if i'd be able to write something that tight again or if it'd take me twice as many words. hmm.#style changes etc etc i guess #as long as the words are still flowing i'm not going to worry about the rest rn tho tbh

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what-even-is-sleep · 6 months ago

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Trying to get ahead of an unsustainability cycle that might be starting up this week,,, (I start work).

#this turned into a bit of a rant whoops #mypost #have been chilling recovering from breast reduction the last month #steadily helping my mom out around the house more and more #but neow imma be working a ~35hr week (not including commute times during rush hour rip)#starting tmr #and I’m remembering that 1) it takes me more time to shower bc I have to be careful with boobz. also I have to wash my bra every night bc da #scars can’t get infected. so the whole process of showering is connected to also washing and drying my bra and putting on lotions n such so #it takes an hour minimum #2) doing stuff for my mom… is always spontaneous and urgent and takes up more time/energy than I think #3) my mom is bad at food stuff on a personal level and that’s transferring to the household bc a lot of stuff including a) she’s hella busy #and stressed. b) the price of food 💀keeps goin up ayoo. c) she is restricting herself to only eating twice a day??? idk why????#d) she also considers a meal to be anything she throws together no matter how unbalanced/nontasty it is #e) I’m also so bad at cooking/meal prep/etc but lowkey have a Thing abt food rn and cannot eat random junk even if I’m v hungry #. all this to say: idk how to do my household duties (communicating with mom. nightly dishes. small stuff that builds) when I have a feeling #imma be hella hungry this whole week.#WAIT I FORGOT THO IMMA BE MAKING MONEYYYY 💰 💴 💵 so I can pay for lunch at work ayooo #((not thinking abt budgeting atm lol 😬. I’m fortunate enough to have a 529 plan for college so semester times are all g)#4) I’m also doing two coursera courses atm (personal finance for young adults and Good With Words) …. I will prob not be able to get much #done in these courses when I have a full week rip #5) I gotta prepare for abroad (applying for visa. dealing with large government structures 😭😭😭) and in general attend to my emails #all dis. hmm #oh and also personal upkeep: gotta order eczema lotion. gotta get in contact with doctors abt leg and jaw PT. gotta follow thru with PT.#falling behind on a productive schedule while balancing my moms needs and my needs and my long-term health/personal project stuff is gonna #be difficult…#hm #writing this out is. hm.#all g all g I am a young adult I gotta handle this stuff now 🧑#great freedom = great responsibility and all that shiz #FUCK I FORGOT I HAVE TO EXERCISE TOO FUCK!!!! DANG NABBIT

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dawei-s · 6 months ago

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Close to my grandma's age when she had my dad literally wtf

#*p #She gave him up for adoption good for her #Side note she is my favorite grandparent #Been thinking abt it a little more recently as I'm staying with her rn #Also rlly been thinking about how my grandma is losing her memory and whatnot but she is still just as kind and enjoyable as before #But when this happened to my (non biological) grandfather he was so fucking nasty. Hmm okay rant incoming once again just need somewhere to #Is been resting inside me for years and I think maybe I should just get it out finally so like don't read. I mean you can if you want but..#recently I realized that he hit my dad when he was a kid and so now I hate him hate him #My mom's always hated him too because of the way he treated my dad's sister versus him #She's so spoiled god #Once my mom told me how they both came to the airport and when my dad arrived he didn't even get up but when she arrived he got up #Before she even was there and greeted her with open arms like hmm okay #And the his computer screen savers was just a sideshow and ofc most if not all of them were her and not one was my dad #Back to the she's so spoiled comment she literally just took whatever she wanted when she came to my grandparents house #I'm not even kidding it was even their cars #Oh she took all of my dad's legos without a word to him. He wanted to give them to my sister so he went to find them and they just weren't #Like you couldnt have even asked ??Think she took his chess set too maybe. Yk lots of things like that #And this is kind of why I was born now that I think about it #My mom felt that my dad didn't have anything of his own so she wanted him to have a kid. Like she wouldn't have had a child if she didn't #Think that #Why did she tell me this anyway #I dint mind but I think lots of parents would not tell their kids that #But yk there are some things she could keep to herself. Like did I need to know where and after what meal I was conceived. No not really.#Wait no I'm literally in the exact room right now aren't I....#How did I get here in my rambling damn it I did not need to think about that

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sirompp · 1 year ago

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DROPS HALF OF AN OC COMIC AND SKITTERS AWAY REALLY FAST

#me tag🍭#oc tag🍭#this was soo fun i just ran out of steam for today.#i was just. i was thinking. hmm i wonder how these characters meet #i’m definitely going to continue this. it’s just a little comic but i have a lot of ideas i didnt show off…#like the tree covering up the words ''DANGER! NOT'' on the sign so it just says ''SAFE'' instead #and the reason zac is even in that tree in the first place #tjis is so exciting i never do anything with my ocs besides think and doodle #i guess this counts as a doodle but. THERE’S A STORY! THINGS R HAPPENING HERE!!#UAAGHFHHF FUUCK MAN #DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST MAKE UP GUYS IN YOUR HEAD AND THEYLL STAY THERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. ITS FREE #I MADE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WHEN I WAS 11!!!!!!!! AND NOW IM!!! A LOT OLDER THAN THAT #GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!#ilove my ocs sorrey man. i love them.#but i’m aso terrified of sharing so rbs off #TAG ESSAY.

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wookgerine · 11 months ago

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Love that they take Bella with the gym with them all the time

#*p #What does she even do while she's there #Do they make her work out too #doing little dog squats. idk how a dog would do that how about a dog plank that is possible my dogs love doing that #i've made this exact post before haven't i #i think i probably even said that exact same thing. well without those tags #they take bella to the gym a lot so not my fault #wait. how do they even get her in the gym #why is that allowed #i 've never been to one but i would assume most don't let your dog come with you. did they have to go ask for special permission like #hey i'm famous therefore let me take my dog in the gym with me. said dog is known for peeing on things but ignore that #i need to go write my homework and stop talking about wayv's dog going to a gym. my midterm is next week and i feel like i am stupid #well at least i am confident i won't be the most stupid person in my class #do you think that's enough words yet #it's like i'm writing an essay and am trying to say one thing but repeat it in three different ways and in as many words possible and #wondering why i exist just to write an essay. but that is also just my stream of consciousness #now on to the real reason of this post: i opened this and tell me why i was MOMENTARILY VERY BRIEFLY light headed at the sight of his chest #i'm so confused did the asexualism just leave my body #hmm #no i think i'm good i still don't want to fuck him #crisis over #...i think

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lieutenant-amuel · 1 year ago

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You know there is one chapter in WBTL that I’m really excited to write and I have so many dialogue ideas/random phrases I find so good, I just decided to write them down because I’m worried I’ll forget them by the moment I’ll get to actually write the chapter. And you know what? This chapter is already 600+ words long.

#Was Born To Lead #THERE IS NO FREAKING DESCRIPTIONS IT’S LITERALLY JUST DIALOGUE LINES #IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING PLAY FOR NOW #And yet it’s so long already #Is it my curse I don’t understand it #Or do I just like writing characters talk hmm #I’m kinda taking this advice of writing stuff out of order #but if we’re being honest I’m actually just writing down phrases that have absolutely captured my mind recently #I replay them literally every day for like a week now #I think this is actually going to be one of the most emotional chapters in the entire fic #and for me possibly THE most emotional because it’s Valerio-centric and it’s really important to me on a personal level :P #Why else do you think I would constantly replay all those dialogues in my head slowly losing my mind :’D #Anyway I HOPE it’s going to be emotional or else I will burst into tears #But yeah I’m once again convinced I do love writing dialogues #and I think I even know the reason why #They’re just a lot easier than descriptions ajhdnfjjf #and I love conveying characters’ different personalities through speech #(and I have a fabulous sense of humor yeah #I’m just joking)#Anyway if this chapter ends up being longer than 10k words I’ll probably ignore the limit I set to myself XD #Yeah I have no writing mood at the moment #so instead of writing anything I’m just rambling about what’s going to happen like 10 chapters later #Ajhdndjfk but I hope I’ll come back to the writing mood someday because this story really gets more exciting with every next chapter #(this emotional Valerio chapter is called in my docs Chapter ? (becuase I don’t know the number yet XD) | The Last Choice #maybe I’ll give it a different title eventually though)#This is the updated concept of the history of the history man chapter :D #Oh my goodness it’s SO different from my original idea and I love it so much more #This is really a lot more emotional than it used to be #I love this man so much…

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lightspren · 8 months ago

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it has been. Such a bad week. oh my god.

#kit talks #anyway did you know crying a Lot over many days is not helpful to recovering from being sick #maybe not necessarily what made me sicker but it sure didn’t help!#we’re planning on giving the dog back. i just can’t do it. i am hmm. devastated is a good word. it’s my decision but i’m still torn to bits #and that’s all i can say about that right now! since I don’t want to go back into hyperventilating sobbing!

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phantasmaw · 2 years ago

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Came to a realization earlier today at work that nothing scares Sovann (both in default verse & genpact verse) as much as a kind deity.

I could easily extend that to kind individuals in general, but considering their (insofar) fraught relationship with the divine and those perceived as divine, a kind deity is nothing short of terrifying for them. Cruel gods, impartial gods, distant gods, ambivalent gods, fair gods, quiet gods-- they know how to contend with those well enough. They won't default to violence the way they were taught purely out of spite, but that doesn't mean they won't antagonize. The genuinely kind ones, though, the ones who handle all matters in grace, who prioritize their followers but welcome those not of their faith with open arms regardless, who can look at filth and offer a gentle smile, those are the ones that petrify them to the point of immobility. Especially if that kindness is extended towards them. The fear doesn't creep in. It grips them all at once, it strangles them and fills them with nothing but frigid terror and panic. Because... why? Why, then, did all that have to happen? How are they supposed to contend with knowing kindness did (and does) exist, and yet things ended the way they did for both them and their siblings? Logically, they cannot wrap their head around that such cruel fates weren't deserved. Lowly creatures born of sin and night should be conquered, not cared for. Even if they refuse to accept that's how they were naturally born, that's what they were inevitably molded into. They should claw their way through all the wrong in the world to earn scraps thrown off the table. But they also deserve everything good in the world, don't they? A kind deity only further exacerbates the paradoxical dichotomy that they are stuck in: I am nothing and therefore I deserve everything, I am everything that could have been and therefore deserve nothing.

It also exacerbates their maladaptive responses to what most regard as basic social etiquette/empathy. They were conditioned to revile a world they wanted (and still desperately do want) to love. It makes them want to bite, maim, kill. Ironic, considering it would prove those long-dead false gods right. The only thing that would hold them back from going for the throat in those moments is that fear. What comes after kindness? They don't know. And it's not the unknown they fear, but the prospect of finding out. Naturally curious as they are, there were a great many things that were off-bounds for them-- that was chief among them. And it would be betrayal of the worst kind, wouldn't it, to thrive at the cost of the mercy they gave their siblings with sliced throats?

I know it's a bit of an elementary observation given the types of trauma Sovann holds, but kindness really does scare them. They don't know how to hold it. Especially not from anyone divine or anything touched by divinity. And, well, isn't nearly anything in the world touched by divinity in some way or another?

#about : sovann #* me: yeah this will be a short post so it's okay to break my weekends-only rule for it #* me now: hmm hmm. lots of words #* i just get so caught up in thinking about how paradoxical sovann is. how difficult they are #* they do want to be impossible to deal with but also they don't #* they crave companionship after isolation and abandonment but the idea of steadily being known-#* it makes them want to tear their own skin off or tear out another person's throat #* basically what i am saying is i want sovann to put their hand in another hand. loveable or not #* their grip will probably break skin #* but in time they'll lick the wounds they make on you. they'll make a salve that never runs out #* they know they leave marks on everything but god as insufferable as they can be can u really blame them #* if they don't leave proof they were there what's going to disappear next #* they will make their own sins against u better. they will. let them do it for u. let THEMMMMM

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astrxealis · 2 years ago

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really want to read more and more literature (esp classics!) aghhhh yesterday iirc i was on a walk with my mom and twin and an old guy (not a weirdo dw) who was jogging or walking too actually asked what book i was carrying and it's a little funny bcs uhm he just went "oh a classic!" you see. i was carrying dante's inferno. which i still haven't properly started to read but anyways he might... if my mom is right... be the local parish guy so oopsies !! LMAO anyways yeah really interested in lovecraft for a while now! horror scares me and gives me paranoia but i also enjoy the writing of it? and i remember once that something/someone said my writing is kinda similar to his. hm.

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i never talk about literature here but hi i grew up reading books and i really love literature. both fiction and non-fiction! admittedly i #less prefer modern books because i prefer classics and all that? and i kinda fucking hate people who only like boring and/or famous #literature lmfao fuck you but anyways putting my bitterness aside! arthur conan doyle with 'sherlock' of course & 'a dream within a dream'#dazai with 'no longer human' is something i think i'll really enjoy reading one day as well and hmm #i never properly read 'lord of the rings' despite my relative having the books and i borrowed it once? but didn't make the time to actually #read it unfortunately :(( 'the great gatsby' is something i also have yet to read and then jane austen's works!#and then. louisa may alcott ... i asked my mom right now about her books that we have/had and i did not fucking know we had #'little women' all this time holy shit. i remember reading 'a modern cinderella' but also i am unsure now... but yeah. that/those too!#shakespeare's works are of course a must-read hehe we do have 'the tempest' and i've read a couple of his works but only a little bit #either based off the knowledge i just. know. or for school back then! but yeah. you probably know his works already lmao <3 #and then uhmm 'phantom of the opera' we have now as well! bought it alongside yk. 'the tempest' 'inferno' 'paradise lost & regained'#a few months ago but tbh i haven't made it very far in reading any of them yet but i really want to sometime! and learn more guitar!#and get back to playing piano and also finish and play more games but anyways. yes.#george orwell's books! we have a few if i'm not mistaken (love my family fr) i really want to read them. my dad keeps recommending #his works for us to read. especially 'animal farm' but i've heard '1984' is really good. i also really want to read more of narnia!#only ever read the first book and wow it meant a lot to me tbh? with. growing up and all. and then i read a bit of another book hmm.#'to kill a mockingbird' was something i have wanted to read since i read 'the hunger games' as a kid because i for some reason connected #the two in a way because of the word mockingbird. and then uh other books that i don't think are as... classics. idk what are classics tbh.#BUT okay yeah i still haven't read 'a monster calls' but i know it made my twin and mom cry! and then 'the fault in our stars' we have but #i also haven't read it... haven't read the witcher books either and then george r. r. martin's stuff. tbf i'm not an adult yet so lmfao.#'the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy' i know my dad really wants to read and i know my tita has it but i'm not completely sure if we have #it ourselves too now? but yeah. really interested in that book as well. and then i have yet to read 'frankenstein' and then i'd love to #reread books from my childhood from authors like roald dahl !! and then man i should read more from #neil gaiman ... i've read his short stories? and a book. or few. i can't really remember.#anyways. okay. running out of tags but i really love literature ..... <3 #also want to read more of modern literature tbh! the ones that are actually good tho <33

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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i'm so sleepy

#🌙.rambles #really wanted to do so much more today but. i did a lot #i'm really happy w yk yeah bio n literature earlier n then #earlier hehe me n apollo were chilling in our parents' room bcs our dad was playing the 1975 music out loud. bonding over music c:#n then. talking w my friends a bit but.. specifically i'm really happy i managed to. hmm. hopefully those words reached her #i know my friends well i think. more than it seems on the outside #so i really want to do things for them n i know how to convey it in such a way that it wld at least resonate with them more #but i really do hesitate that i'll do it wrong yk? or i'm low on energy myself #but. i'm just. personally proud that tonight at least i managed to tell help her a bit. i really had a feeling she hasn't been doing well #for. the past months. i'm so sick of hesitating i just want to reach out but i really get afraid sometimes n i'm sorry #sincerity n authenticity n honesty mean a lot to me but. my friends aren't usually. as Open yk #goddamn i can't write it well enough bcs i cld write how i perceive it specifically for each n every single close friend of mine #n i really just want to help in any way i can bcs i really do care #i'm. also just really for the friend i said earlier. i really just.. know how it feels to have that hope crushes n for it to #ah. i don't know how to write it but the words are in my head. i really wish i cld just call or hug my friends anytime to just reassure #them or listen or just be company. bcs i know how it feels all too well n when i'm managing a bit better like i am right now i just #want to make the most of it but.. sigh #i'm more. yk more of a writer than your average person. but #writing is just so hard at times isn't it? but i really want to do as much as i can #n then. i don't know i think i need to cry i think. i want to do so much #yk that horoscope.co thing. i'm not too big on astrology i just find it interesting but w scorpio sun & capricorn moon (bcs that's me)#read it again n it a bunch of not rlly resonated with me :^) ffs i just want to do so much n it hurts #bcs i want to be kind to myself but i'm in a constant battle of. yeah really trying not to push myself but it's so hard #when people are put in the picture. humans are social beings. it's inevitable n. it's just so.. it just feels so helpless for me i think.#bcs there's so much in me that wants to just be freed like. i want to be who i am with no restraint but.#there's just.. a lot too but.#thinking of earlier today n how i overcame my anxiety. n we. we bought the tickets. for the 1975. doesn't feel real but my motivation rlly #yeah. n then. fuck the pain i'm channeling that energy to my motivation instead but #i really.. need to sleep. i'm sorry i can't do more right now. i really want to. tomorrow. i hope. i will do more. but i'll rest now.#..n tonight somehow maybe telling you to rest wld reach you somehow. probably not but i'll just leave this here.

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drev-the-procrastinator · 3 months ago

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i can't believe.... it's been... very nearly ten whole years... ten whole years near to the date.... for a sec i was like oh yeah i'm over that whole thing... and then there's a couple new chapters.... and the thing is as if it never left.... ten years of this brainrot...... ei perkele......

#eissaakeli #it's been ten. ten goddamn years. a whole ass decade. and yet #then again in hindsight. why is it that i picked studying history again. hm. what was the language i picked as a minor again. huh.#what was it me. and why'd you pick it. hmm. was i ever really over that thing #what the fuck. what the fuck. sieppeli tää on sun syytä #it's like years without any chapters with him in them because. well. didja look at the news. and im like yeah oop that was embarassing #anyway i'm aaaaallll over that thing now. a slight fondness remains but otherwise nah. i'm over that #and then. and then. i think about a wip a little too long. and then canon switches to an au not set in the real world. and he's there again #and it's like. what. like four chapters. and oh no there's that old brainrot again. oh god oh fuck. it's been TEN YEARS #this CANNOT be HAPPENING #this is so. sigh. ghhh #and yet i am a grown man (gender neutral) and i can have whatever blorbos i want because theu are fiction i know this #but like. gh..... did it have to be.... it's been......... ten whole years...... of this same shit..........#ai ai aika noloo. no jaa ei voi mittään #joo jos on seurannu meikäpoikaa tarpeeks kauan tietää kyl mitä tää koskee. kyl tiiätte #if you've followed me long enough im sure you know what this is about.#mut eissaakeli..... kymmenen vatun vuotta........... jjoo-o #ok crisis over. vagueing about how i cannot fuckin evict a blorbo #who's been one for so long it predates the word blorbo........ crazy stuff #anyway someone send help. or don't it's not that serious. just a little. a lot. silly

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jimingyue · 11 months ago

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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

🖋️ meowful-musings Follow

🕊️ birdwatching Follow

what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine

💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204

op wheres the natural feeding option

🌲 outdoorsy Follow

you guys are getting fed?

#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look

7,192 notes

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3

🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow

as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3

#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....

154,688 notes

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right

❤️ loving-paws284 Follow

um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...

🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow

OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD

🐟 tunafeesh Follow

also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks

anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse

#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now

32,456 notes

🍃 naturalliving Follow

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

猫神 Kill Em All 1989

I am trash cat

410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS

#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly

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🎣 salmonpurina Follow

can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther

#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks

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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!

🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow

evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

make your own pawst

💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721

umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...

👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow

Nyaverage shelter cat behavior

#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up

545,460 notes

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo

💡 discourse-meows Follow

hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

1. i was making. a joak

2. i'm literally gay???

#literally what's your pawblem

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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

i know you fuckers are lying

🍭 gaykittens Follow

this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

shut the heull up

988,653 notes

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise

🐁 ladymouser Follow

op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us

#long post #cat #fake dashboard #unreality #dashboard simulator

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midwestprincesss · 7 months ago

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never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut

notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)

cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOT😭) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.

thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy

so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out

but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned

like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.

but one time he really caught you off guard-

it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.

he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.

"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.

you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.

"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"

"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.

"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.

"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.

you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."

"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."

"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"

"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.

"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"

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