#* aoki's my best candidate for it too

[carnivorarium]

A really fun kind-of plot with Aoki would be a “they’re neighbors/in the same apartment complex and see each other fairly often, except it’s becoming more and more obvious that something is exceptionally wrong here.” Because, well, try as he might to blend in, the necessary habits he has for work make him stick out like a sore thumb. And there’s the fact that he’s a monster, not a human (which could play far less of a role if the given setting they’re in is more centered on the unnatural, but even then he tries to keep as much of his identity under wraps as I can, particularly the specifics of what he is). 

I just adore the idea of him getting into a bit of a routine with a neighbor, without really realizing it-- little things like seeing each other about the same time every other night while they smoke or just step out for fresh air, they come home/leave at similar times, frequent the same nearby shops, etc. And that’s what makes the cracks in the facade start appearing. The mundanity should help his cover, but it’s what would eventually start to peel it off little at a time. As much as he’d like it to be, the little nothings in every day life are not normal for him; try as he might to make it be so, he’s not very practiced at it. A number of things that could go wrong will go wrong. And it really all depends how the relationship develops as to how that will go. 

And also-- bonus points if the other party in question has a few skeletons in the closet or something more going on that they’re also hiding. Or bonus points if they’re just a fella! Just a person living their life!  

[soundrooms]

Soundrs: William Fields

My name is William Fields. I live in Arden, Delaware, just south of Philadelphia on the East Coast of the USA. I make non-functional, future-oriented electronic music.

My newest album is ➜ Bokuseki  My 24-hour algorithmic music project is ➜ FieldsOS  My website is ➜ https://williamfields.com/  On social media:

    ➜ Twitter

    ➜ Instagram  Why do you make music?  I played the drums for a bit as a kid, but otherwise I am self-taught. I grew up listening to a lot of different music, but hiphop was a big part of it. I discovered electronic music in high school and was hooked for life. For some reason it resonates with my brain. On a fundamental level, I suppose I make music because I enjoy the process and because the results are rewarding. Music provides me with an endless source of learning and exploration and problems to solve. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride. And maybe in some small way, it’s given me an opportunity to inspire others and leave the world a little better than I found it. On a practical level, music has given me the opportunity to connect with really great people around the world and to travel occasionally for shows, which adds some adventure and excitement to my life.  What are your inspiration sources?  Rhythm: Photek, Squarepusher, Untold, Rian Treanor, Mark Fell, Kindohm Sonics: Autechre, Drum and bass (Noisia & friends) Groove: J Dilla, Flying Lotus, Aoki Takamasa Improvisation: Jazz, Indian Classical Ideas: Brian Eno, John Cage, Thich Nhat Hanh, Yuval Noah Harari, Austin Kleon, George Saunders, Haruki Murakami, various podcasts, my good friend Qebo.  Tell us something about your workflow.  I am always working on my music system (my “instrument”): adding features, removing features, adjusting algorithms, refining, tweaking, etc. You could think of my system as a huge, complex modular patch with hundreds of modules, that has a nice UI, full generative capabilities, and easy state management, but at a tiny fraction of the cost and it fits in my backpack. I ♥ Computers In the process of working on my system, I will occasionally feel inspired by something, so I will hit record and improvise. Most of these improvisations are crap and get thrown away. But, occasionally something magical happens, and those recordings end up getting released. If I know I have a release coming up, I will sometimes have dedicated recording sessions. Some of my favorite releases (like Shackamaxon) have been recorded in the course of a single day.  How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?  Good question. I don’t practice any creative rituals. But, I’m pretty sure going for a vigorous walk beforehand is a good idea. Gets the blood flowing to the brain.

How do you get in the zone?  It usually takes me around fifteen minutes before things really start flowing. So the first few tracks of a session tend to be stiff and self-conscious. In a stressful live performance situation, I’ve found that a little bit of tequila helps!  How do you start a track?  These days, my tracks tend to start with a snapshot that is algorithmically generated by my music system. It is much better at finding interesting musical spaces than I am. So, I will sit there and hit the randomize button until something inspiring comes out. Then I will hit record and improvise with it. I also keep a collection of interesting snapshots that I can load at random. So sometimes I will flip through those until I find something good and improvise based on that.  Do you have a special template?  Yes! I never start from a blank slate. The template is everything. It is my instrument. It has been burned into my muscle memory. I can control the music without thinking about it. I have been working on it since 2012. The fundamental structure is: LEMUR (controller) ➜ Javascript (for state generation/capture/recall) ➜ REAPER (sequencing, synthesis, fx) REAPER is the core of my music system. It is where the sequences are generated, the synthesis is done, and the FX are applied. 

The visuals are generated in real time, triggered by the music via MIDI. So there is very tight correlation between audio and visual events. I am not using audio analysis. The visuals are done in Javascript, running in Chromium. I use Visual Studio Code for development. 

For the visuals I am mainly using three.js. Thank you Mr. Doob! On the music side, I am hugely indebted to Justin Frankel (REAPER) and the Surge Synth Team. What I do would not be possible without their amazing work. What do you put on the master channel?  I try to put as little as possible on the master channel. I have some metering stuff like a spectrum analyzer, an oscilloscope, a goniometer, and a loudness meter. Other than that, the only thing is a waveshaper. It adds saturation, glues everything together nicely, and tames the peaks without reducing the impact of the transients. I’m not sure of the technical term, but it’s a special kind of waveshaper that folds over the waveform when it hits 0 dbFS instead of flat-topping it.  How do you arrange and finish a track?  I perform and record the music in real time to a single stereo pair. I don’t do any arrangement, layering, or multi-track editing after the fact.  How do you store and organize your projects?  When I record something, it goes onto the desktop and on to my phone. When I listen back to it later, if it has potential for release, I put it in a “Release Candidates” folder. Otherwise I throw it in the archive, probably never to be heard again. When it’s time to compile a release, I go through the “Release Candidates” folder and pick out my favorite stuff.

How do you take care of studio ergonomics?  I work in software, so my physical studio setup is very minimal. I have a motorized standing desk, so I can easily switch between sitting and standing.  Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?  I work at a day job four days a week to make a living. I have Fridays off and focus on music. I’ve found that mornings are best for detail-oriented tasks like programming and critical listening related to the mix/mastering of my system. Afternoons seem to be best for improvising and recording. Sometimes I wonder if all this music stuff is just an elaborate excuse for me to play with computers. Having said that, I am always thinking about music, listening back to recordings, taking notes on my phone, and making small adjustments throughout the week. I don’t need a big chunk of time. I am able to work in small bits here and there. Also, sometimes while working my day job I set my system to auto-generate new music every thirty seconds. Occasionally something really good will happen and I’ll run over to my computer and hit “Save” so I can perform with it later.  Share a quick producing tip.  (1) Don’t start from scratch every time! Build your instrument. Practice with it. Develop your muscle memory so it becomes fast and intuitive. This approach helps you to develop your own voice, and it’s much more fun than laboring over a DAW for endless hours until you hate your own music! (2) Always level match when doing A/B comparisons. If a plugin is increasing gain by as little as 0.1 db, it will sound better to your ear, even if it is actually damaging the sound. (3) Process as close to the source as possible. Instead of putting it on the master, put it on a bus. Instead of putting it on a bus, put it directly on the track. Instead of processing the track, fix it directly in the synthesis.  Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).  I just discovered the Solarpunk movement and I think it’s really inspiring. Here’s the ➜ Solarpunk manifesto.  List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : )  Cicadas Airplanes Cars in the distance Computer keyboard clacking as I type My own breathing That’s all I got. The cicadas are too loud!

Thank you William! Any other mad sound scientists out there?

[randomidiocyncrazies]

in celebration of the English fan translation of 2.43 reaching the end of the first bunkobon, i present even more of my (unorganized) thoughts about Oda and Aoki...

a thing i really like about book!Oda is that he essentially sees himself as a selfish person, and his relationship with Aoki is more complicated than it seems in the anime. like YuniChika, Oda and Aoki also have problems communicating with each other in a straightforward manner, which is interesting because they appear to function well as a unit in the eyes of their underclassmen

regarding the complications in their relationship, i think 2 pieces of information introduced in Ch 3 of the book illustrates it particularly well: the first is about how Oda became captain (spoiler: he wasn’t originally supposed to!), and the University Consultation Deception shows readers that they are willing to lie or otherwise keep things from each other. Oda regrets that he and Aoki are unable to “punch each other hard and tell each other their true thoughts,” and he is simultaneously grateful for Aoki’s support and jealous of his assets (primarily his height, but also his possession of what seems to be complete self-assuredness to Oda). this is also mixed with a sense of guilt for what he sees as dragging Aoki along with his selfish pursuits, and thinking everything Aoki’s done for him is a debt to be repaid, unable to realize that it’s ultimately Aoki’s choice to support him. (“You don’t have to understand,” which we WILL talk about later.)

the University Consultation Deception in particular highlights that both are hiding things from each other: Aoki doesn’t tell Oda about his goal to get into Kyoto University Law dept, choosing to lie instead (we aren’t explicitly told why Aoki lied, but I think one of the reasons might be because he doesn’t want Oda to let him go early so he could focus on his exams, even if it’s just out of politeness). 

Meanwhile Oda, who had already heard the rumor about Aoki’s future plans but pretended he didn’t know, silently admits that he couldn’t bring it up with Aoki, out of fear that Aoki would in fact choose to retire early and prioritize his studies. he’s also afraid that Aoki would realize that Oda is a “boring person” if you strip volleyball away from him (hence “Hey, do you... enjoy being with me?” in Ch 3.3)

Oda also flat out admits to himself that even if a confrontation about the university happens, he wouldn’t be able to let Aoki go without a fuss; he’d find excuses to make Aoki stay on the team for his “self-serving convenience,” although he also concedes that Aoki would prolong his retirement for as long as possible immediately afterwards and feels guilty for being indebted to Aoki (again).

(but still, it was a shock to find out that Aoki is willing to lie to him when asked point blank.)

When Aoki remarked on Yuni and Chika’s situation at the Ball Game Tournament, saying they should just let YuniChika fight and get everything out in the open, Oda immediately thinks that he and Aoki never got the chance to do that:

Although he and Aoki had their disagreements, they always ended up sidestepping the issue instead of getting into a serious quarrel. Even though Aoki would attack others with a sharp tongue as much as he wanted when necessary, but when it came to Oda, he would take a step back. He didn’t have to retract his opinion if there was something he didn’t like about the possibility of Haijima joining the team. I’m not such a tyrant that I won’t respect the opinion of the vice captain.

Oda still wasn’t convinced about how he was chosen as captain in the first place. Whenever Aoki gave him his due because he was the captain, it stimulated a deep sense of inferiority within him.

(2.43 S1 Chapter 3.5)

it turns out that Oda was not recommended for captain by their upperclassmen, and they had wanted Aoki instead, due to his analytical mind and ability to be cool under pressure. they also recommended Oda to switch to playing libero instead of a spiker, because they genuinely think Oda can get more out of the sport in that position. Oda was humiliated by this, which Aoki noticed.

so Aoki suddenly joined the student council and took advantage of school rules surrounding club activities to make sure Oda became the only candidate suitable for captaincy within the team, which meant he cannot be reassigned as a libero as per the school rules. this feeds further into Oda’s insecurities, and he's upset because it feels like only reason he got the position was because Aoki didn’t want it:

What’s with you? Do you pity me, who never grew taller? Or do tall guys have the freedom to do whatever they want? He was furious. However, he was unable to lay bare such ugly emotions in front of Aoki, and in the end it didn’t turn into a serious conflict at the time. The comfortable relationship that they had since they started high school had somehow created a wall instead, and there was an atmosphere where it would be too awkward to share their feelings at this point.

Although Aoki was his best friend and a trustworthy partner who was more easy to get on with than anyone, he also harbored a strangely twisted gloominess towards him.

(2.43 S1 Chapter 3.5)

as for why Aoki did it... while in the epilogue Aoki does think “no, I think you are a pretty unfortunate person,” pity isn’t why he does all this for Oda (if it were only pity, it would have burned out long ago). just as Chika’s volleyball changed Yuni’s world, Oda’s (passion for) volleyball changed Aoki’s. In Aoki’s mind there is nobody more deserving of being captain, but ironically Aoki’s respect and devotion seems to have created the opposite feeling in Oda, who feels indebted the more he does for him. 

it’s also really interesting that, although Oda feels guilty receiving Aoki’s help, he also isn’t afraid to ask for it, knowing that Aoki would support him. i feel like Oda’s willingness to rely on Aoki, even though he feels conflicted about it, is pretty refreshing in these kinds of narratives, especially when they technically still haven’t “fought and told each other their true thoughts” directly.

During this ball game tournament, which included preparations, while Oda was just saying he wanted Haijima like a spoiled brat, just how hard was Aoki working, even using his influence, for the sake of the whole team? Even though he supposedly didn’t agree with having Haijima join the team, he considered Oda’s feelings and took action like it was a matter of course. [...] 

[...] The prodigy who had student council duties, and who on top of that could get accepted to Kyoto University, probably had any number of things he could do besides volleyball, unlike Oda. He felt a deep sense of guilt that because he invited Aoki that day—because they were “Aoki” and “Oda”, an unexpected intrusion came into Aoki’s life.

“Ah, hey…thanks for everything…”

It was too embarrassing to say it now after two years, and he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was grateful for the gap between their lines of sight right then. Every time he was helped, it only deepened his own sense of inferiority, and he had never thanked him face-to-face until now.

Good grief, it’s not just my outside, I’m also tiny and worthless on the inside.

“But, sorry…you’re going to have to go along with my selfishness for just a little longer.”

His debt would increase even more in the future. It seemed that Aoki won’t be able to concentrate on his exams for a while yet.

“…That’s just like you.” Aoki mumbled to himself, his head still turned away. [...] “You’re giving me too much credit, I feel guilty now. Playing volleyball with you is what I want to do right now, and I’m not doing it unwillingly. I don’t need to be thanked at all. I’ve been saying this since before, but me not liking Haijima is completely my personal feelings, and I’m the one who’s just being selfish. I don’t really care about going to university or not, and I don’t mind if you want me to lower my rank so we can go to the same place… I’m basically just driven by my ulterior motives.”

“Ulterior motives?”

[...]

“…You don’t have to understand.”

Aoki raised his head slowly [...] Then, he turned towards him and lifted the edge of his mouth. 

“Let’s go to the Spring Tournament. I’ll follow you until the end.”

For Oda, that thin, ironic smile was more reliable and trustworthy than anything.

(2.43 S1 Chapter 3.5)

a few things about that conversation: 1) it feels like Aoki just confessed to Oda... imo the entire conversation is Loaded with Implications™ (particularly his “ulterior motives,” the willingness to throw away his chance to get into the top school in Japan as soon as Oda gives an indication that he wants them to attend the same university, and “you don’t have to understand”)

2) it’s interesting that both Aoki and Oda both remarked that the other wouldn’t be able to understand them in this chapter: while talking to Chika about volleyball, Oda thought that “Aoki wouldn’t understand this much either,”* because ultimately Aoki’s devotion isn’t for the sport. and at the end of the chapter, Aoki essentially acknowledged that Oda wouldn’t understand his motives either, because while Aoki looks at Oda and sees the sun, Oda isn’t able to comprehend that he, with his passion and determination, changed Aoki’s life—and even when Oda feels inferior, Aoki thinks he’s the coolest, strongest super ace *in the published Chinese translation, the line is rendered as “Even Aoki wouldn’t be able to understand. He’d understand that it’s just who I am as a person, but he wouldn’t be able to feel what I feel.” 

3) i must stress the fact that, IMMEDIATELY AFTER Oda berated himself for his selfishness, he asks Aoki to go along with his selfishness for a little longer... the man knows what he wants (to play in the Spring Tournament)

[dailytomlinson]

The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.

"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."

A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, had a child, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.

"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."

Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."

Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."

"Coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error"

Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.

He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.

"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.

"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."

Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.

"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."

He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.

"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."

Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person"

There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.

"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."

Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.

"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."

And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?

"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."

It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."

Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January.

[louistomlinsoncouk]

The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.

"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."

A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.

"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."

Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."

Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."

Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.

He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.

"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.

"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."

Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.

"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."

He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.

"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."

Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.

There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.

"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."

Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.

"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."

And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?

"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."

It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."

Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January.

[elceeu2morrow]

Published: 2:45 pm, January 30, 2020  Words: Abigail Firth.

The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.

"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."

A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, had a child, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.

"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."

Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."

Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."

Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.

He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.

"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.

"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."

Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.

"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."

He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.

"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."

Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.

There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.

"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."

Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.

"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."

And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?

"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."

It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."

Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January. 

[hlupdate]

The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.

"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."

A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, had a child, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.

"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."

Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."

Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."

"Coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error"Louis Tomlinson

Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.

He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.

"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.

"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."

Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.

"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."

He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.

"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."

Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person"Louis Tomlinson

There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.

"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."

Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.

"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."

And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?

"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."

It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.

"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."

Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January.

[let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol]

Reconnected

New Man Flashbacks: Read New Man or here

Warning: Contains Sexual Content. View At Your Own Risk!!!

     Luke stared at your contact picture on his phone. His lips pursed as he twirled the phone on the counter top thinking about whether or not he should call. A loud sigh left his lips in defeat and Luke pressed the call button. He raised the phone up to his ear, and his heart began to slam against his chest as the phone continued to ring for what felt like forever. Finally after about a minute you picked up. 

“Hello,” your voice had filled the line. Immediately Luke felt his heart swell with joy, and it took everything in him not to blurt out something stupid.

“Hey, Y/N um it’s Luke!” Luke announced, he grimaced after the words realizing what he had just said was stupid because. . . 

“I have caller ID,” you snorted into the phone making a smile embrace Luke’s face at your words. He had just thought exactly that. “Was there something you needed to discuss?” you questioned. Luke could hear movement come from the other end, and he began to wonder what you were doing.

“Not really. . .um how’s Raine?” he asked, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Luke really did want to know how his daughter was, but this call was mainly about you. 

“She’s fine. Raine was actually asking about you the other day. My mom’s watching her for the weekend so that I can have some time to myself,” you told him, letting out a hum as you stretched. Luke smiled when he heard his little girl was thinking about him. She was the light of his life and any time someone mentioned his daughter Luke would get extremely happy. He could brag about Raine all day if he had the chance.

“Yeah? Maybe we should move family day up a bit so I can see her next week,” Luke suggested, “I’m glad to hear she’s doing well. . . I uh-I actually called to see if you wanted to come get a drink with me?” There was silence after his question and Luke could tell you were having doubts about it. “Just for old time sake,” Luke edged on, “It’ll be fun, I promise.” He was bored. It had been a while since Luke had a drink and since the guys were busy, you were the best candidate. Luke of course had to push pass the fact that you two were broken up, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hang out.  

“Fine. I’ll get a drink with you and only just one drink,” you sighed, hoping that you wouldn’t regret this decision. 

     You stared at Luke with squinted eyes, and a small glass full of vodka rested in your hands. Luke smirked and the glint in his eye grew while the both of you watched each other intently. “You can’t out drink me,” Luke reminded, thinking about all the other times you’ve tried to drink more than him.

“I’ll remind you that it’s been a year since you’ve seen me drink,” you said. Without saying another word you tossed back the shot. Luke’s eyes widened in shock as you gulped down the fifteenth shot of the night. 

“Damn that was hot,” he mumbled, drowning the shot that was in his own hands. You smirked at his words and a chill ran down your spine as he moved closer to you. “How about we finish this party at my place?” Luke suggested. Your lips had pursed in thought. It was one thing that Luke convinced you to get a drink with him, and now he wanted you to come over. You weren’t sure if you wanted to. You had already broken your word. You were only going to grab one drink with Luke, but ended up drinking fifteen shots. You also knew that if you did go home with Luke, the two of you would be digging up old feelings that should probably stay buried. “It’ll be fun, I promise and I can make my famous grilled cheese sandwiches,” Luke bribed, knowing you weren’t going to pass up on your favorite snack that only Luke knew how to make correctly. 

Luke had said it again. “It’ll be fun, I promise”. He said it a lot in order to get you to do something. Getting a drink with Luke was fun, but how fun was going to his house would be? Would it be too much fun? Fun as in the two of you might do something you’d regret. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” you questioned, “How would she feel if the mother of your child came over to your house this late at night?” You could see the color in Luke’s eyes darken and his jaw clenched at your words. 

“I had a girlfriend,” Luke muttered, reaching behind you to grab another shot off the bar counter. “Past tense. . .we broke up a month ago,” he told you, quickly swallowing the liquor. A bit of it dribbled down the side of his mouth. Your hand reached out and your thumb brushed the liquid away. Luke looked down at you and his lips parted for just a split second. You could tell he wanted to say something else, but wasn’t sure how to say it. 

“Fine. You better have liquor at home and I do expect that grilled cheese too,” you said, already feeling the alcohol from earlier heating your bones. You were susceptible to going anywhere with Luke in this moment, so it wouldn’t take a lot for him to convince you. Luke smiled at your words and the minute you had agreed, he pulled out his phone to call an Uber. Luke would have to come back for his car another day because neither of you were fit to be driving tonight. He also wanted to get home before you decided to change your mind about coming over. Luke knew you all too well to know that once you began to second guess yourself that you’d end up going home. 

     The two of you were a mess of giggles by the time you made it to Luke’s house. You were stumbling over your feet and clutching to Luke’s shirt in order to balance yourself. It was completely dark when you came through the front door. Luke’s hand gripped yours tightly as he searched for a light switch with another hand. The two of you seemed attached to each other in this moment. The Uber ride over being spent with hushed whispers and his lips pressing at your temple. There was an energy radiating between you both. One that couldn’t be denied. Soon light filled the space and you were greeted by his living room. You had only seen a glimpse of Luke’s home on a few occasions when you dropped Raine off for weekends. Now you were actually seeing his home from the inside. Gray and black couches, round coffee table, flat screen TV, a recliner that held a gold colored knitted blanket with toys covering it. You smiled realizing Raine must have claimed Luke’s recliner chair as her own. One thing you did know was that Luke had great taste in decorating.  

Luke had tugged on your hand and the gesture pulled you away from your inner thoughts. “What’re you looking at?” Luke questioned, pulling you towards his kitchen. 

“Just observing. . .please tell me you have wine,” you questioned, following behind him. Luke smiled at your words and reached out to open the refrigerator door. You carefully slid on a stool and watched him take out various food items: pesto sauce, a loaf of Japanese milk bread, mozzarella and provolone cheese, and a clove of garlic. You were surprised Luke even had all the ingredients as if he expected you were coming over today. 

“Wine is in pantry,” Luke said from over his shoulder. He didn’t bother to look up from his task. You slid off the stool and walked over to Luke’s pantry. There was a small section filled with alcohol. Raised just a few feet high, so that Raine could’t get to it. You looked at the variety of wine Luke had and chose one that would go well with pesto grilled cheese. 

“Lambrusco,” you said, wiggling the bottle in front of Luke’s face. 

“Ah good choice,” Luke said, placing slices of garlic on top of the pesto. You sat the bottle down on the counter and began to search for some wine glasses. “How’s work going?” he asked trying to make small talk. Luke was starting to sober up a bit, and he realized he never thought you two would end up back in his home. In fact Luke was surprised you even got a drink with him. 

“It’s good. I have an interview with Steve Aoki on Monday, and then I gotta write the story around the interview,” you said. A small cheer came from you when you found the cupboard that held drink glasses. “What about you? How’s music writing going?” Without you having to ask, Luke opened a drawer and pulled out a wine opener for you. 

“Well we release the video for our new song tomorrow, but overall the album is almost finished,” he said. He placed the other half of the bread on top of the other and then flipped the grilled cheese over. You opened the wine and poured it into one of the glasses. You slid the glass over to Luke, and he picked it up taking a sip of the red wine. “I’ve had this one for a while and honestly this is the first time I’ve tasted it,” Luke admitted, clinking his glass against your now filled one. You smiled over the rim of the glass at his words and then pointed at the sandwich on the stove. 

“Please tell me that’s done because I’m starving,” you said, climbing up to sit on the counter this time. Luke snorted at your words and turned around to take the grilled cheese off the stove and onto a plate. He pulled a knife out and cut the sandwich in half diagonally. 

“Just how you like it,” Luke said, handing the plate over to you. You smiled in delight and graciously accepted the food. He watched as you took a bite out of the grilled cheese and hummed at the taste. 

“Oh this is soo good,” you moaned out, eyes closing as you soaked in the warm feeling running down your spine. You often made this comfort food, but for some reason you liked how Luke made it the most. Luke smiled at your words and turned his back towards you, so that he could make a grilled cheese for himself as well. You took another sip of your wine and quietly ate your sandwich. “I miss this,” you whispered. Luke almost missed the words, but he heard them loud and clear. He looked over his shoulder at you for just a split second and you could see a glint in his eye. 

“Yeah?” he questioned, cutting the next sandwich. You gave him an eager nod. You were slightly intoxicated, which increased your likelihood of telling Luke anything on your mind in this moment. It was quiet for a second and Luke broke the silence by stepping between your legs and trying to take a bite out of your grilled cheese. 

“Oh hey! You just made your own!” you whined, moving the sandwich out of his reach. Luke reached out more for the sandwich, still trying to get a piece of your food. His hands landed on your hips and for a second you could see something flash in his eyes, but you weren’t sure what it meant. You retracted your hand and held the sandwich in front of his lips, so that he could take a bite. Luke smirked, one of his hands leaving your waist to grab your wrist as he bit into the grilled cheese. He lips connected with your thumb, and you felt his tongue lick at your fingertip. You felt a shiver run down your spine, and your breath caught in your throat. You could see the smirk on his face growing as he chewed. Luke puled the grilled cheese from out of your hands and placed it on the plate next to you. You felt almost frozen in your spot as he kissed at the palm of your hand and the tension in the air became thick.

“I’ve missed you,” Luke hummed, moving closer and continuing to kiss down your arm. You knew what he was doing and you began to melt in your spot. His hand reached up to caress your face. “Tell me you missed me,” Luke whispered, face going to rest at the crook of your neck. You felt his lips brush against your skin and found yourself relaxing more into his touch. 

“I missed you,” you whispered, feeling yourself scooting closer to him. He kissed at your neck and you began to mumble about how much you missed him even more. You craned your neck back so that he could get to more of your skin. The tension between you both was starting to grow and before you could even blink Luke’s lips were pressed against yours in a passionate kiss. You bit at his bottom lip and Luke took that as a sign to stick his tongue in your mouth. You allowed his tongue to massage yours and a moan left your lips. His hands pushed under your shirt to grab at your breasts. The way his hand cupped at your breasts was strong, delicately squeezing at it until a chill ran down your spine. “Take it off,” you mumbled against his lips. Luke pulled away from you for a split second.

“You sure?” he asked, wanting to make sure you wanted him just as much as he wanted you too. 

“Yes. . .I want to feel you again. All of you,” you reassured. Luke moaned loud at your words. Feeling the blood instantly rush to his cock. He was quick to take off your shirt and his fingers worked on un-clipping your bra. 

“Damn I missed these babies,” he breathed at the sight of your breasts. You found yourself smiling at his words and pulled him in closer and into another deep kiss. A delightful groan left your lips when he pulled away to capture one of your nipples in his mouth. Luke nipped at it until your nipple got hard. Your hands reached down to unbutton his jeans, hand slightly palming at his cock. His actions halted for just a second and then continued on. You felt a shiver run down your spine as he worked on getting your pants off. You shifted slightly and raised off the counter so that he can pull them off fully. Luke squatted down and dragged you towards the edge of the counter. He licked at your clothed clit making a jolt run through you for just a second. You could feel the wetness flood and knew Luke could feel it too. His fingers slipped under the hem of your panties and yanked it down. You wrapped your legs around his shoulders and drew him in closer. It didn’t take long for a series of loud moans to leave your lips as Luke ate you out. 

“Oh f-fuck,” you moaned out, hand reaching down to grab at his hair. His hand gripped at one of your ass cheeks, tongue taking long swipes up and down your slit. You whined in pleasure “I need you,” and in response Luke slipped a finger into you. He added in another finger and then nipped at your clit. “Luke please,” you whined out. He smirked at your words and for just a split moment his warmth left you. Luke ran his fingertips along your under boob, and he pinched at your nipple. 

“You need what?” Luke hummed, a look of lust clouding his eyes. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip and when you didn’t respond, Luke pinched a lot harder. “What do you need, Princess?” he questioned only making you cry out in pleasure some more. “Use your words,” Luke egged on, his other hand reaching down to massage at your clit.

“Luke, please. I n-need y-you,” you mumbled in broken sentence. 

“That’s right, baby girl, beg for me,” Luke smirked even more. He was quick to kick off his jeans, one hand still rubbing at your clit as the other pulled down his boxer briefs. You watched intently as his cock came into view and you whimpered in frustration. “Say it again,” Luke requested, running the tip of his cock up and down your slit. 

“I need you,” you whispered, scooting closer to the edge. You wanted to feel Luke inside you so bad. It had been such a long time since you’ve had sex. A very long time since you and Luke had had sex. Your breath hitched in your throat the minute Luke slid in. It was slow and you milked every feeling and inch Luke had. A strangled groan left Luke’s lips as he pushed in further until he was all the way inside of you. 

“Fuck you feel so good,” Luke grunted, eyes closing and mouth parting slightly as he tried to focus. You had a way of making Luke melt. Even just a bat of your eyelashes and he would’ve came right then and there. Luke slowly pulled out until just his tip was in and then pushed back in. He began a steady rhythm the sounds of your wetness squelching as he pumped in and out of you. You sat up straight and wrapped your arms around his shoulder. Luke’s lips collided with yours and his tongue massaged yours. You moaned into the kiss, lips trailing along his jawline and down to nip at his neck. Luke gave a particularly sharp thrust and a loud scream left your lips. A bark came from somewhere in the kitchen and Luke’s actions stopped to look around the room in confusion. Another bark sounded out and he felt a lick at his ankle. 

“Petunia,” you sighed, a small whimper left your lips as he pulled out. “Cockblock,” you hissed at the dog as she jumped around Luke’s legs. He laughed at your words and then lifted you from off the counter. You were taken by surprise, and wrapped your arms and legs around him. 

“She’s just excited,” Luke commented, carrying you out of the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. You clung tightly to him and your head rest against his shoulder as he carried you. Once you made it to the end of the hall, Luke used his hip to push open the bedroom door. Luke’s taste in things has grown since you had last been with him. A king sized bed, maroon colored sheets, soft rug, and black dresser with a nightstand, and headboard to match. Luke carefully laid you on the bed and he climbed onto it himself before closing the door. The bed was soft and Luke pulled you closer until your back pressed against his chest. He lifted your leg and hooked it around his hip before pushing his cock into you. You moaned as he began to thrust, Your head rolled back as pleasure consumed your body. You could feel his hand slip between your legs to rub at your clit. Luke had a way with his fingers and he’s the only one to know all of your weak spots. Luke was mumbling sweet nothings in your ear. It didn’t take long for the wave of pleasure to hit you. It was magnificent how easy Luke was able to get you to your release. You began to scream out in pleasure and your hands gripped at the sheets as your orgasm continued. Luke’s hand left your clit and went to give your ass a harsh slap. You jumped slightly as the heat rushed to the skin. His actions stopped for just a second and you shifted in your spot to straddle Luke. “God you’re so beautiful,’ Luke whispered, hand reaching up to stroke your cheek. “So god damn beautiful,” he emphasized, slightly bucking his hips up. 

You began to bounce up and down, loud moans leaving your lips as Luke met your pace. “I love you,” you hummed. Your head dipped low and you began to nibble at his skin wanting to mark him from head to toe. You were determined to get Luke to his release, and began to whisper the things you knew he liked to hear during sex. “It’s all yours,” you purred into his ear earning a louder moan from Luke in return.

“All mine?” Luke questioned, his own back rising off the bed when you sucked on his earlobe. 

“Every inch of my body is yours,” you repeated, nibbling more at his earlobe. Luke began to sputter out curse words, his grip on your hips tightening. 

“I’m gonna turn you over,” he commented in warning for you to brace yourself. In one swift movement Luke pulled you off of him and then flipped you over. You had whined for just a bit at not feeling him deep inside you. “Ah so impatient, Princess,” Luke tsked, slowly rubbing at your clit, “You’re just begging to feel me deep inside aren’t ya?” You nodded rapidly already feeling another orgasm on its way. Luke slipped back inside of you his pace at a fast speed. Luke curled his hips into yours making you feel every inch of his cock. You could tell he was getting close to his release just from the pace and how loud his moans were. Luke captured your lips in a deep kiss. His teeth biting down at your bottom lip and pulling it back for just a second. The palm of your hands were open and Luke intertwined his fingers with yours held your hands tightly. “O-Oh f-fuck,” Luke grunted, his back hunching as he spilled his seed into you. The feeling was warm and your eyes had widened as if you had been stung by pleasure. Luke thrust into you a few more times before he came to a complete stop. He pulled out and then plopped down on the mattress beside you. You were breathing heavily,and your mind raced from adrenaline.

“Where’s the bathroom?” you mumbled through a yawn. Noticing Luke had been staring at you intently for at least a minute.

“Down the hall on the left,” he responded, reaching out to stroke your cheek. You smiled at the gesture and leaned over to give him a kiss. 

“I’ll be back,” you said, climbing out of the bed and heading to the bathroom. You came back a few minutes later and crawled into the bed with Luke. The second you were by his side Luke pulled you closer into his chest and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. 

“I love you too,” he whispered, eyes closing as he sucked in your warmth. Luke was happy to have you in his arms again and he wasn’t planning to let go any time soon.

     The weekend was nearly over and you were still at Luke’s house and in his bed. A weekend filled with becoming one and touching each other as if you were relearning the other’s body. It was as if you two were attached at the hip. Any chance you got to feel one another you took it. Just woke up? Morning sex. Having breakfast? Luke was sucking whipped cream off your breasts. It was as if nothing had changed and you were nineteen once again. As if you were two dumb teenagers fresh in love. Luke’s lips brushed at your forehead and your fingers traced at his abs. “What are you thinking about?” you questioned, seeing the crease between his eyebrows whenever he was thinking hard about something. 

“Us,” he said, shifting in his spot until his back rested at the headboard of the bed his legs raised as if he was getting ready to do crunches. “Where we started and how we ended up,” Luke continued on. You moved around as well, resting your head a top his chest and your legs lifted on top of his. 

“Yeah we’ve gone through a lot,” you sighed, your mind tracing you back to when the two of you broke up. You frowned at the memory and then looked at Luke curiously. “What made you think about us?” you asked this time. Luke shrugged at your words and then became silent. You didn’t mind the quiet. The two of you had become so comfortable around each other that when it was quiet around you, it was never awkward. You had closed your eyes and soaked in the sound of the rain coming from outside. Things were peaceful and you couldn’t be happier. You were on the point of falling asleep when Luke decided to say something that was on his mind. Something he had been thinking about the moment you walked out of his life. 

“Let’s have another baby,” Luke whispered, his fingers trailing up and down your leg. Even after five minutes you were both still winding down from having sex for like the tenth time that weekend. You immediately giggled at his words and your eyes opened as you looked up at Luke. “I’m serious let’s get married and have another baby,” he said, sending a small kiss to your shoulder. You grinned at Luke’s words and his lips landed on yours in a passionate kiss. “I love you,” he said, kissing you some more.

“I love you too,” you whispered, a smile embracing your face as he kissed you even more. His words echoed in your ears and a few seconds later you nodded in agreement. “Are you asking me to marry you?” you questioned, skin feeling warm at the thought of actually getting married to Luke like you two had planned and having even more children. Luke pulled you closer as if that was possible since you were practically laying on top of him.

“I am. . .you know I bought an engagement ring for you?” he questioned. You shook your head and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “I was going to propose to you before you told me you were pregnant. I guess I was too caught up in the news to ask. Then we started having problems and…” Luke’s voice trailed off and he shook the thought from his head. His hand landed on your hip and he pinched at your skin. “I regret leaving you, Y/N. So I’m fixing my mistakes. I want this. I want you back in my life and I want my family back. Will you marry me?” 

“Luke, the minute I first laid eyes on you I knew I wanted to go through life with you,” you said. 

“Is that a yes?” he asked, a smirk on his lips. Luke knew what you had said was the answer, but he wanted to hear you say that three letter word. You rolled your eyes knowing exactly what he was thinking. 

“Yes, Luke, a thousand times yes.” Your hands reached out to cup his face, pulling him into a deep kiss. You didn’t think accepting his offer to get a drink would end up like this, but it did and you were ecstatic to say the least. This was a step in the right direction and you knew once this weekend was over, you and Luke would have come out of your bubble and head back into the real world. The real world would of course be like a dream because you’ll start planning the wedding and letting everyone know you were back together once again.

[rieshon]

Spring 2017 Preview

This season is hype. Lots of adaptations I've been waiting for.

1 Shuumatsu Nani Shitemasuka? Isogashii Desuka? Sukuttemoratte Iidesuka?: Surprisingly, out of all the LNs I read in preparation for this season this was far and away my favorite. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's a goddamn mastapeece. I just don't know how they're going to squeeze the whole story into one cours.

2 Sakura Quest: If this show is even half as good as Hanasaku Iroha and Shirobako it's an AOTS candidate. P.A. Works' working women series is one of the best things out there and I hope this show carries the tradition on.

3 Hinako Note: Another early favorite for anime of the season and one glance at the key art should make it obvious why. It's not a Kirara anime but it's definitely got the atmosphere and the cute girls. Plus, it looks like it's going to be lewd, which really puts it over the top.

4 Shingeki no Bahamut VIRGIN SOUL: The first series was one of the best shows of 2014, and Cygames only has more money now. Hopefully it maintains that same fun, Hollywood action-adventure feel of the first series with the new protagonists.

5 Eromanga-Sensei: A good series where I'm not sure who best girl is, but it's definitely not the imouto, which is funny considering this is the new series from the creator of Oreimo. Muramasa is probably my favorite through three volumes of the LN, but Elf-sensei is good too, plus there's some Kido-hyan in here...

6 Zero kara Hajimeru Mahou no Sho: Another one I've read the original of. It's pretty good 王道 fantasy, and the second arc is pretty feels inducing. It's a little darker than your average anime fantasy, I think. The main thing, though, is Zero is angel, but I'm still upset she's not being voiced by Ayaneru.

7 Idolm@ster Cinderella Girls Gekijou: I quit playing Deresute late last year, but this should still be pretty great. I hope Rinapoyo is in it... SINCE SHE SURE ISN'T IN THE GACHA AS AN SSR

8 Saenai Heroine no Sodatekata♭: I keep forgetting this is airing this season but holy shit am I ready for Kasumigaoka Utaha (and her kuro pansuto) to come back.

9 Busou Shoujo Machiavellism: One of the top candidates for Blade Dance anime, this one with some really good looking character art and animation and an amazing blondenblu voiced by Hidaka Rina.

10 Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Record: Ahh, a good ol' kettou anime. Last couple seasons have kind of lacked a traditional Blade Dance anime but this one definitely checks all the boxes.

11 sin Nanatsu no Taizai: The figures were pretty, uh, nice. I expect there will be too many titties for a lot of people but I've watched all of High School DxD so I'm inoculated against them already. Bring on the big American tts.

12 Ren'ai Boukun: Looks like a solid romantic comedy with some over-the-top characters. Guri is adorable and Hara Yumi plays a chijo.

13 Sword Oratoria: This is a spinoff of Danmachi, the problem is that Aiz Valentine or whatever the fuck her name is (I never did learn how to spell it) was always the most boring character in that show anyway. Forget the spinoff, I want more of Hestia and cute boy Bel.

14 Clockwork Planet: This was the one LN that I wanted to read before the anime aired but didn't have time for. Clockpunk with lolis I guess. The cast is good, including Nanjolno as the male protagonist, so I'm looking forward to it.

15 Granblue Fantasy The Animation: I just started playing Granblue last month so this should be interesting. Cygames has all the money so hopefully they're pumping some of it into A-1 for this show. I just hope Cagliostro shows up.

16 Alice to Zouroku: Loli and curmudgeonly old man is a time-tested formula for HNNNGs, even in 3D, and with the power of 2D it could be even better.

17 Sakurada Reset: Honestly, it seems kind of boring, but Takayama Katsuhiko knows how to write good, feels-driven adaptations so it might be good. From what I understand, the LN it's based on is immensely popular.

18 ID-0: I have no idea what to expect out of this after the most recent trailer. Hopefully it's a cute as one is led to believe.

19 Tsugumomo: Not gonna lie, the only reason I'm even aware of this series is because for years now the artist of the original has posted nude drawings of all the characters on his Pixiv account (they're pretty good). Hopefully that means the actual series is pretty lewd too.

20 Gin no Guardian: Hadn't heard about this until the other day. The trailer makes it look pretty cute, but it's a "trapped in a video game" story and I'm pretty sure the goofy cartoon stuff is only going to be right at the outset. Not a lot of high hopes.

21 Re:CREATORS: They won't let me watch the trailer for this, but it has girls. I guess it's another VRMMORPG anime or something. The staff is pretty high quality, with Aoki Ei both directing and writing, so it could be interesting... But the last thing Aoki Ei and TROYCA worked on was the detestable Aldnoah Zero.

22 Seikai suru Kado: I actually missed this when I was going over next season's anime yesterday, but it sounds like a high concept SF show about a Japanese diplomat slipping into a fantasy world. The premise gives me GATE flashbacks, but surely nothing can be that bad...

23 Frame Arms Girl: I hate the CG, but I'll at least give the first episode a try only because the human protagonist is a girl. Really not sure why they went the Busou Shinki route with this instead of just doing a sci-fi military action show.

24 Tsuki ga Kirei: No idea what this is. The "story" icon on the official website is greyed out which is pretty rare. Art style is kinda weird.

25 Makeruna!! Aku no Gundan!: You really did it Soramaru.

26 Twin Angel Break: I never saw the original Twin Angel shows but it's got Kayanon so count me in. Funnily enough the key visual just reminds me of Flip Flappers now.

27 Idol Time PriPara: Why you do this Takara Tomy. If you fuck this up Amamiya will lay a 10,000 year curse on your families.