#* / i was the yarn - just longing to be warn / aes

[survivorsyndrome]

tag dump, unfortunately.

[rfaromance]

Hey..

Can I please please ask AE Saeran to (or how he would...?) comfort me whenever I feel anxious to the point of being so, so overwhelmed? I tend to even feel physically sick. It's just...such a horrible feeling.

I just totally break down, it's like a meltdown. It's awful and absolutely mortifying, for anyone watching.

...

Can Saeran please help me? I'm so ashamed of myself. I just...want him to be with me when I feel like this. I just need a whole load of comfort from blue rose boy right now 😅😅

Hello anon! I'm so sorry for the delay on this one. Please take care of yourself, and remember that Saeran loves you more than anything in the universe! ♡

He wasn't sure what had prompted it.

You'd been eager this morning to head to the craft store with him, in search of yarns and needles and books to help guide you two as you began your new quest to learn how to crochet. After you'd gone to a local arts and crafts fair and seen all the beautiful handmade goods, from jewelry to aprons to stuffed animals, Saeran hadn't been able to shake the idea of learning how to make some crochet companions himself. You'd encouraged him from the get-go, offering to accompany him and learn alongside him.

That was how your life had been, for the most part, ever since he'd left the hospital. Just spending every moment together and taking on new adventures, new activities, new skills, side-by-side. Despite the number of years Saeran had been alive, he'd never quite lived.

You wanted to be there for every new experience and see his smiles as he uncovered the hidden beauties of the world one day at a time.

Why then, had your hand suddenly gone cold and clammy in the aisle? Why had your grip loosened and you slipped away, when moments before you two had been perusing your options and trying to decide between pink and yellow yarn? Saeran couldn't figure it out.

He couldn't figure out what prompted it, but he knew what he needed to do to help you through it.

"My angel," he whispered, lowering himself beside you on the tile floor of the store. You had collapsed onto your knees, and your hands were making small fists, open and close, open and close, by your sides. He could hear your breath coming in ragged gasps, and the shaky rise and fall of your chest were almost enough to make him panic.

But he couldn't afford to be weak right now. Not when he needed to be strong for you.

"It's okay," he whispered, and you flinched, your hands immediately rising to cover your ears. He pursed his quivering lips, trying his best not to show how alarmed he was. Gently he scooted closer until he was right in front of you, and tenderly he reached his arms towards you. He went at a slow pace, not wanting to overwhelm you with any sudden movements or sensations. When he finally managed to place one hand on your back, he swiftly pulled you into his chest, murmuring apologies as he did so. "I'm here. Focus on me. Just me."

The sights. The sounds. The smells. He could understand how a store filled with color and light and chatter and candles could bring you down without warning. He couldn't be certain what had been the final straw, but he was all too familiar with the breakdowns that struck unexpectedly. Ray inside him was trembling, knowing the pain of collapse after working for too long when the bright screens and whirring machines became too much. The other Saeran was scowling, knowing that strength was nothing without care to temper it and keep it honed.

He could hear muffled sobs coming from you, and he could even feel your tears beginning to soak into his sweater. But Saeran had no intention of letting you go until he knew you were secure. With his free hand, he began to stroke the back of your head, humming softly as he did so.

Just see his body. Hear his voice. Feel his warm embrace. Saeran would shield you from anyone and anything that'd ever try to do you harm.

"My sweet love," he murmured. "My dearest darling. Even angels need to rest their wings from time to time." He lowered his lips to your forehead, barely brushing your skin with a feather-light kiss. "And when you need to rest before you continue to spread your love and your light, there's always room in my heart's garden reserved for you."