#(your absence is felt)
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qoldenskies · 3 months ago
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i think about splinter walking in on the aftermath of caged lungs a lot
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#canary continuity#rottmnt#like#pov: you are splinter. you have spent the past few months feeling Off#theres this odd air in your home that you cant place and some distance from your sons again#but you trust their independence and you tend to wane in and out again already#and theyve all been encouraging you to go out there and get a social life!!#even before the curse you dont know about yet theyve been nothing but supportive#maybe a bit pushy lately. but you think theyre just happy for you#teenagers are rebellious. youre sure theyll use your absence for shenanigans but thats a part of being a teen#so you go for a night out.#its a break from the odd tension youve felt#you come home feeling relaxed. lighter. youre smiling to yourself as you walk back into your home#for a moment its quiet and you can just breathe in the comfortable silence#and then you smell blood. not the faint clinging tang of it youd smelled for a few weeks and dismissed. FRESH blood#your veins chill with panic. dread prickles down your spine. you run towards the smell#and then you hear your oldest sons SCREAMING.#both of them dont scream like donnie and mikey do. they SHOUT a lot. they dont SCREAM#they dont scream like their souls are being torn out of their chest. not like that#(for a moment you freeze. and all you can think about is torn flesh and the snap of bones. cheering. blood caked across your bruised fists.#and then the panic hits you at once and you BOLT#and you walk into the culmination of fifteen years of your careless mistakes.#and nothing is ever the same again
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damnea · 7 months ago
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Cranky having a healing moment in the book 'Really useful stories for growing up.'
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regicidal-defenestration · 3 months ago
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The thing about having read The Blue Angel by Paul Magrs and Jeremy Hoad is that nothing will ever again be The Blue Angel by Paul Magrs and Jeremy Hoad
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childrenofthesun77 · 1 year ago
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If google translate isn't completely off then touma claims to attend the servamp academy graduation ceremony for tsurugi, but since its also mahiru's graduation I guess we can also count it as the first important event of mahiru's life that his father was there for.
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suddencolds · 6 months ago
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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tbartss · 12 days ago
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I’m really appreciating Seth on a whole new level on my reread and like reading the extra content on Seth and finding out about how in another draft Neil helped Seth realize that there is more to life than his own resignation and Seth finally changing his ways. Finding out that he wanted to go into social work and help people. He was going to propose to Allison. He wanted to get clean. shoot me right here right now it would hurt less
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julie-su · 3 months ago
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Does anybody else feel like the world has changed so much in the last 10 years that it is nigh incomprehensible, even though your status quo is locked in the past? And now you're scrambling to find familiarity in a world that is brand-new to you. Almost as if the past decade has passed in a flash, as if you had simply time-travelled to this point in time. Every-so-often, there is a little pocket that strikes as recognisable and comfortable, but it just seems to make the rest of the world seem that much different.
I feel like I'm stuck in the past, and everything around me is revolving at a lightspeed. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in six years, I did not realise that six years had passed. I think about you constantly. Do you feel the same, or does six years feel like six years to you..?
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hellcatchvalley · 4 months ago
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the way that if any bh member died now it wouldnt even be a "oh no im gonna miss them :(" feeling but more so a "man they didnt even really get a chance to finish anything" feeling is.
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paradigmrust · 2 days ago
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i follow you wherever you go
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prophetofthemuse · 3 days ago
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I hope you have a good day/night whatever it is for you^^ -🪲
It is early afternoon for me, and thank you!! I have exercised, I have eaten lunch, and the sun is shining bright enough to blind, so I have a good feeling about the rest of the day!! 💕
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ca-d · 1 month ago
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tankerfishthesimp · 1 month ago
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here we go again gut wrenching stomach aches galore
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pragmatic-optimist · 2 years ago
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Reflecting on how our love of [insert fav piece of media source] is crafted— in every sense of the word—by the talented people we find in fandom.
Content creators (fic writers, gif makers, artists, meta writers, and so many others) are a fandom's heartbeat.
Thank you for all you do (or have done) to keep a fandom alive, even and especially when the source content has disappointed. Words cannot express how much you are valued and appreciated. 💕🙏🏽💐
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sincerelyaudri · 6 months ago
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everyone’s coming over? 🎤
yes, and where are you???????
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whatdoscissorsdo · 6 months ago
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you ever just go to bed feeling all clean and fresh ready to sleep then ur bed reminds u of those chips u ate a while ago while crying to poalof for the 60th time or is it just me
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moe-broey · 8 months ago
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Brain still soup but like. I think making one or both (or more!) characters involved in relationships with each other aromantic makes the dynamic soooooo much more compelling. Because if you remove romance as a motivator, you really get down to the nitty-gritty as to WHY that character is seeking out/involved in those relationships in the first place. Whether that relationship involves romantic factors or is more of a queer platonic thing. Much to think about....
#like i WANNA give examples but also it's always so difficult for me to parse it out too#but sharena being someone who longs for love but can never quite grasp it for herself is sooo real to me#while maintaining her harem like. how she still seeks out these relationships anyway. BECAUSE she wants it so bad#because she can't quite grasp it fully herself.#also veronica taking one look at sharena and not even fully able to grasp it herself. and going 'sharena clearly doesn't know what love is'#recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)#also this is something i'm exploring aaaall the fucking time w moe/alfonse.#juries still out on if i hc alfonse as any flavor of aro (i do think it'd be funny/if he was i think he'd be demi)#but like. w moe being 2 for 2 demiro/sexual. you might think that would make things easier?#but no. bc it's also extremely romance repulsed. as much as it wants to spread love and cheer. it is a hater. fervently.#and then there are cases like lif/thrasir that read as a qpr to me. only having each other in this deep intimate way#that's devoid of any romance/sexuality.#BUT IT'S ABOUT THE OBSESSION. going back to moe. IT'S ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING THE SAME PERSON#which i think happens to a degree w moe and ABSOLUTELY happens/happened w sharena/peony#it's also about asking what does this character WANT. what is the core of their desire#is it to fill an aching absence? is it to feel safe? to feel understood? to feel loved?#when your entire life you've felt you've been loved wrong/were unable to love correctly?#is it friendship? is it sexuality? esppp in the case of aro/allos!!!! like!!!! that happens!!!!!#and ofc! you have your aros who just don't. and that's okay!#but i never want being aromantic to be like. an easy way to write off a character who 'gets in the way'#or rewrite something you didn't like in canon. like. there are ways to do that second part#without doing the same shit i see people do w autistic people. writing off a character#or a hc in the most abliest way fucking possible. it's egregious.
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