#(your absence is felt)
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i think about splinter walking in on the aftermath of caged lungs a lot
#canary continuity#rottmnt#like#pov: you are splinter. you have spent the past few months feeling Off#theres this odd air in your home that you cant place and some distance from your sons again#but you trust their independence and you tend to wane in and out again already#and theyve all been encouraging you to go out there and get a social life!!#even before the curse you dont know about yet theyve been nothing but supportive#maybe a bit pushy lately. but you think theyre just happy for you#teenagers are rebellious. youre sure theyll use your absence for shenanigans but thats a part of being a teen#so you go for a night out.#its a break from the odd tension youve felt#you come home feeling relaxed. lighter. youre smiling to yourself as you walk back into your home#for a moment its quiet and you can just breathe in the comfortable silence#and then you smell blood. not the faint clinging tang of it youd smelled for a few weeks and dismissed. FRESH blood#your veins chill with panic. dread prickles down your spine. you run towards the smell#and then you hear your oldest sons SCREAMING.#both of them dont scream like donnie and mikey do. they SHOUT a lot. they dont SCREAM#they dont scream like their souls are being torn out of their chest. not like that#(for a moment you freeze. and all you can think about is torn flesh and the snap of bones. cheering. blood caked across your bruised fists.#and then the panic hits you at once and you BOLT#and you walk into the culmination of fifteen years of your careless mistakes.#and nothing is ever the same again
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Cranky having a healing moment in the book 'Really useful stories for growing up.'
#ttte cranky#this felt relevant to everyones day#other ttte books#a cute illustration to cheer up your day#apologies for my absence i'm still alive I promise
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The thing about having read The Blue Angel by Paul Magrs and Jeremy Hoad is that nothing will ever again be The Blue Angel by Paul Magrs and Jeremy Hoad
#not necessarily a bad thing٫ mind#as much as I like it٫ it's good for your series to have things like 'comprehensible plot' sometimes#but its absence is keenly felt#doctor who#edas
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If google translate isn't completely off then touma claims to attend the servamp academy graduation ceremony for tsurugi, but since its also mahiru's graduation I guess we can also count it as the first important event of mahiru's life that his father was there for.
#servamp#mahiru shirota#taishi touma#this is from the end of volume 21#I'm really not sure if touma's absence from mahiru's life was bad or a blessing#On one hand mahiru felt lonely because after akira's death he only had his uncle who was often away for work#But touma is...touma#I really can't wait to see mahiru's reaction to learning that this guy is his father#In the manga and the gag world#Imagine finding out the teacher that annoys you is your long lost father
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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Does anybody else feel like the world has changed so much in the last 10 years that it is nigh incomprehensible, even though your status quo is locked in the past? And now you're scrambling to find familiarity in a world that is brand-new to you. Almost as if the past decade has passed in a flash, as if you had simply time-travelled to this point in time. Every-so-often, there is a little pocket that strikes as recognisable and comfortable, but it just seems to make the rest of the world seem that much different.
I feel like I'm stuck in the past, and everything around me is revolving at a lightspeed. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in six years, I did not realise that six years had passed. I think about you constantly. Do you feel the same, or does six years feel like six years to you..?
#Is this just what being 25 is like?#Now that '10 years ago' is a comprehensible thought - rather than fuzzy memories?#Let me know your thoughts. Yes - you - person reading this!#It was the day of the dead this weekend. I saw Marcus' portrait attended to and shared photos of it on my FaceBook timeline.#It's been about four years. I still have 'recent' pictures of our characters together - it felt recent. It's been four years.#Four years of his absence. It feels like it was yesterday.
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the way that if any bh member died now it wouldnt even be a "oh no im gonna miss them :(" feeling but more so a "man they didnt even really get a chance to finish anything" feeling is.
#bh didnt really get a chance to make enough 'good' memories to miss anything about the group dynamic if one dies#like look at fcg he died and the only reason it's like 'damn' is because he died Before aeor and speaking to gods#so i dont miss him so much as miss his missed opportunities lol#and then if orym had died to zathuda it wouldve been like 'damn he died protecting someone but what a dumb and sudden battle yknow? oh well#not even to begin talkin about how the plot makes bh a slightly 'unbiased' (HEAVY quotation marks) party#but it also makes it so they really dgaf what happens either way when it comes down to it and you can Feel that#DIDNT EVEN GET TO EXPLORE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF EACH OTHER ENOUGH#TO FEEL ANY STAKES IN LOSING THE WORLD#like if everyone but bh died really who are we losing. why do i care.#like try answering that question without mentioning people who AREN'T from this campaign#we didnt spend enough time with npcs for their absence to be felt more than 'ohh noo :( anyway'#theyve got nothing to fight for and NO thats not deep or on purpose theyre barely even fighting for each other#'class of students who's plane crashed on an island and they just gotta work together now' ass party dynamic I HATE IT HERE#anyway ignore everything i do love cr3 im just unbelievably frustrated at [gestures wildly and indiscriminately]#'yeah cr3 sucks compared to--' shut up youre not affiliated with me
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Why did you do that? Because I love you.
#twedit#scallison#scallisonedit#teenwolfplus#teendramas#scott mccall#allison argent#making this made me so crazy i had to fight for my life to not make this a lyric edit#thats what happened with the cant help falling in love scydia set if anyone was wondering#it was supposed to be like this and then i felt crazy#literally this whole set my head was like#i see the look in your eye and im biting my tongue you'll be the love of my life when i was young#isnt it amazing despite all the space in the world im still close to you then you said to me are we enemies no baby we could never be#if i could be stronger and if you were just older we might last this out longer but the task just gets harder and my face turned to red#we huddled under covers we ddint say anything if you hadnt come ovre i would be so much colder i would be so much less confused#goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky you were more than just a short time ive got a lot to live without#ANYWAY.#these scenes are very Specific to me they are so specifically about hurt/comfort to me#both of them bloodied in such different ways; both with blood on their hands; scott's is his own. allison's is mostly her own. but not all#the gentleness that comes not because of the absence of violence but despite the abudance etc etc etc etc#i refrained from including stuff from the movie trailer but the movie has really made me a scallison endgamer its crazy i never was#but i feel fucking Insane#the question is always why and the answer is always because i love you
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i’m quite distant from Tumblr right now, but I'm glad you're doing well jojo!! 💖🫶🏻
I've been contemplating on whether to send you a tumblr ask or slitter into your DMs! ( but I was too late! you got to me first ) With that said, Take your time. May your days be kinder and gentler, that you breath easy. When you are ready, I'll be here waiting !
#melonchanverse#𝒊𝒏𝒃𝒐𝒙. ⸻ ◜ milko vs you ◞#* your absence if greatly felt but even so just take it easy#* also! thank you for taking the time to send this it :') you're soooo very sweet melon.
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chase me
dear god, hunt me down.
let your fangs sink in.
i won't wince.
i'd be lying if i said i didn't like the pain.
it grounds me.
it seems like the only thing that tethers me to this vessel anymore:
the hurt.
i yearn to be devoured, i think.
to be dragged back to a lair,
limp,
eyed with hunger and desire.
devour me, please?
i long to feel something other than this hole within.
hurt me so i can know something else;
i'll be the tiger's chew toy.
#i mean#electrolysis sucks#but the past few weeks have barely hurt#i haven't felt much#if anything#i now look forward to hurting#ashamedly#just to feel#this is my living#at least for now#why do i play with knives#why do i flirt with cars#and pills#i think#perhaps#i want someone to pull me back from the edge#pull me away from the roadside#don't let me keep hurting myself#i can't be trusted with myself#don't leave the girl who hates herself alone#i hate myself more in your absence#obviously something to fix#but without you#how am i worthy of love#i can't help but become more what i loathe when i'm no longer loved by you
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Reflecting on how our love of [insert fav piece of media source] is crafted— in every sense of the word—by the talented people we find in fandom.
Content creators (fic writers, gif makers, artists, meta writers, and so many others) are a fandom's heartbeat.
Thank you for all you do (or have done) to keep a fandom alive, even and especially when the source content has disappointed. Words cannot express how much you are valued and appreciated. 💕🙏🏽💐
#thinking about how much of my love of lone star was crafted by the talented people in the fandom#many of whom are no longer part of the fandom#(your absence is felt)#many of whom are disappointed and doing their best to create even in the midst of that disappointment#or still here but no longer creating#(i see you)#here are your 💐💐💐💐#there literally is no fandom without you#thank you so much for everything#fanfic writers#fan artists#gif makers#tumblr fandom#appreciation#content creators#911 ls fandom#sonia musings#went from saying nothing for weeks to saying too much in 4 hours#lots of thoughts over here but i did want to be sure i ended with gratitude#bc at its peak the talent in this fandom was overwhelming (affectionate) 🥹👏🏽#iykyk#okay i’m done#back to my queue ✌🏽
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Kaeya most definitely tried to rehearse the first thing he would say to Diluc when he'd heard the man was back in Monstadt. Only to have spat out the most silver-tongued, sickly saccharine yet bitingly snarky little remark bc he happened to panic upon seeing the man and immediately knew just how bad he fucked that up by the utter look on Diluc's face.
#hc; kaeya#//Rewatching things and oh my GOD I forgot how funny Luci tryna say his first hi to Charlie in awhile was kjdfgfg#//But yeah. Like what the FUCK do you say when parting was Less Than Pleasant & it's been FAR too long since your last actual convo?#//Kae wouldn't even have been able to lower his guard; just defaulted RIGHT to the facade that's served him well all these years#//That's hidden his fears and nerves so well otherwise; only for it to get the exact OPPOSITE of a reaction than what he wanted#//Meanwhile Luc's been slapped right in the face with what he; having last known Kae as shy and anxious; deems as the fakest fucken#shit he's ever seen; and perhaps the coldest look he's ever gotten from Kae. The very palpable DISTANCE his facade puts between them#//And at first impression feels such ANGER; thinking this must be another deception he's hitting him with#//As if their last words exchanged in person weren't hurtful enough; now THIS?#//He might realize it is just a means for Kae to keep his guard/distance after thinking it over; but in the moment?#//He prolly Loathed having to hear/deal with him; with THAT after every memory he'd kept of him is suddenly shattered under this New Kaeya#//THEN it turns into stewing guilt over how Kae must have had to step up & make such changes in his absence out of Necessity#//Esp the more he learns abt what's gone down in Mond in his absence; be it via Jean or what his little network of ppl has found#//That he will probably never again see the Kaeya he once knew back then ever again. Assuming he even remained in Kae at all#//Which is why seeing mere Glimpses of it is so IMPORTANT to him; why he feels such RELIEF; even knowing he prolly shouldn't#//he's not the same man he once was either; not entirely; but that doesn't mean it wouldn't Hurt to realize it; either way. Like a harsh#bitter sting; not unlike the strike of frostbite he felt that fateful day and confrontation#hc; diluc#//Welp; there we go kjdfbg
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everyone’s coming over? 🎤
yes, and where are you???????
#🌺 ❝ 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙮𝙨 ❞ ; inbox#felt a disturbance in the force n it’s your absence. rectify this IMMEDIATELY.
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you ever just go to bed feeling all clean and fresh ready to sleep then ur bed reminds u of those chips u ate a while ago while crying to poalof for the 60th time or is it just me
#in solitude i felt the liberty you spoke of but i also felt your absence 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#love this movie so much#poalof#portrait of a lady on fire
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Brain still soup but like. I think making one or both (or more!) characters involved in relationships with each other aromantic makes the dynamic soooooo much more compelling. Because if you remove romance as a motivator, you really get down to the nitty-gritty as to WHY that character is seeking out/involved in those relationships in the first place. Whether that relationship involves romantic factors or is more of a queer platonic thing. Much to think about....
#like i WANNA give examples but also it's always so difficult for me to parse it out too#but sharena being someone who longs for love but can never quite grasp it for herself is sooo real to me#while maintaining her harem like. how she still seeks out these relationships anyway. BECAUSE she wants it so bad#because she can't quite grasp it fully herself.#also veronica taking one look at sharena and not even fully able to grasp it herself. and going 'sharena clearly doesn't know what love is'#recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)#also this is something i'm exploring aaaall the fucking time w moe/alfonse.#juries still out on if i hc alfonse as any flavor of aro (i do think it'd be funny/if he was i think he'd be demi)#but like. w moe being 2 for 2 demiro/sexual. you might think that would make things easier?#but no. bc it's also extremely romance repulsed. as much as it wants to spread love and cheer. it is a hater. fervently.#and then there are cases like lif/thrasir that read as a qpr to me. only having each other in this deep intimate way#that's devoid of any romance/sexuality.#BUT IT'S ABOUT THE OBSESSION. going back to moe. IT'S ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING THE SAME PERSON#which i think happens to a degree w moe and ABSOLUTELY happens/happened w sharena/peony#it's also about asking what does this character WANT. what is the core of their desire#is it to fill an aching absence? is it to feel safe? to feel understood? to feel loved?#when your entire life you've felt you've been loved wrong/were unable to love correctly?#is it friendship? is it sexuality? esppp in the case of aro/allos!!!! like!!!! that happens!!!!!#and ofc! you have your aros who just don't. and that's okay!#but i never want being aromantic to be like. an easy way to write off a character who 'gets in the way'#or rewrite something you didn't like in canon. like. there are ways to do that second part#without doing the same shit i see people do w autistic people. writing off a character#or a hc in the most abliest way fucking possible. it's egregious.
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the x-files — s3 e22 ‘quagmire’ | s4 e5 ‘the field where i died’
#is this anything#guys stop projecting your dead fathers onto the other. guyssss stoppppppp#the father as authority vs the father as lenience or levity; punisher or saviour?#i had to paraphrase a lot here when adding the text but also important is scully saying trying to capture his obsession#will only end in his death and the deaths of those around him#in this way scully is expressing her concern for him; to mulder she is instead a father who died trying to protect#one hubristic one martyred#how many times has scully's life been endangered as a result of her work in the x-files? hmmmmm#scully notoriously relentlessly seeking the love from her father; approval; connection - to be recognised; validated#(thinking of mulder & scully meeting because she was assigned to INvalidate his work; to question his belief)#scully in s1 e13 - she no longer needs to be told her father was proud of her; she knows because he was her father#vs scully saying the only person she trusts is mulder; her biggest fear him betraying her (s3 e23)#(the ultimate betrayal at that; that he was one of the men who violated her body)#also the concept of desire as a cage vs love as freedom#to want is to acknowledge there is something you do not have; something you feel you perhaps cannot have#such as the love of a father (figure)#we covet what we see everyday etc. and what is more mundane than family and what is more felt than the absence of their love#scully saw her father when dying and he told her to go back. but it was mulder she listened to#does any of this make sense. it is 3am. goodnight#mine#txf
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