#(yeah i had to copy and paste the song title)

[all444miles]

— IN HER OWN LIL’ WORLD

— paring: e!42 miles x black!fem!reader

— genre: fluff

— summary: you can chat for the world, so you tell it all to none other than your boyfriend.

— a/n: the way this is a self insert bc when i tell u i can CHATTTTTT 😭 this is pretty much inspired by the song “love is only a feeling” (hence the title, that “she’s so perfect in her lil world”) so you might see a bit of lyric references in it. writing ts at 2am got me TIRED than a mf, but enjoy !!

You were a natural talker. You could talk for hours without getting tired. You could talk for the whole world, even. So you tell everything you want to say to your world, Miles. Miles loved everything about you. But when you would talk to him non-stop, and the way you’d articulate your words? Made his whole day.

“She came up to me tryna start sum, and you know I wouldn’t take that shi, so I had to deal wit her.” you explained, sitting on your boyfriend’s lap, his hands on your waist, as you continued to tell the story you had been telling Miles about for the past 26 minutes.

“Mami, you fought her?” he asked, his head cocking to the side and his eyebrows furrowed. “Das crazy, ain’t I said if you got a problem tell me?” You never really knew how, but whenever a person would cause you problems, Miles would always find a way to sort it out.

You tried to think to yourself, before you realised what he said to you just a ago week ago, catching your breath as you did so.

“Aight ma, after that fight, if you got any more beef wit somebody, for a good reason, you come to me, you heard?”

“Oh yeah..” you could hear a soft sigh coming from Miles and watched as he slightly shook his head, which made you smile. “That’s my bad. But she still deserved that shit.”

“So ima take it you won? Or else ima be even more annoyed.” he questioned you, raising an eyebrow, engaging himself more into the conversation.

You chuckled at his question, and your answer made him grin. “Of course I did! You ain’t never gon see me lose a fight.”

“That’s my girl. Now, tell me the rest.” you smiled at Miles as he waited for you to continue. You were always a talkative person, and Miles would always be the one to listen.

“You sure I ain’t talking yo ear off, baby?” you laughed quietly as you spoke, feeling the slightest bit self-conscious that you were talking too much. Miles, however, laughed at what you said.

“Mami, you always do, but I love it.”

“Ahora, no dejes que te detenga amor, sigue hablándome.” (Now, don't let me stop you love, keep talking to me.)

© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.

likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !

[queenendless]

CRIMSON

A/n: I legit don't know how to title this piece. Inspired by @xo-romiiarts and their artwork.

Also Guns for Hire by Woodkid fits this piece so listen to it while reading this or any song that gives dark!GoGe vibes.

CW ⚠️ : 4.7k worded piece with DARK MATURE themes/depictions of murder/genocide, teen dropouts/runaways, angst, hurt/comfort, romance/fluff, already established poly!teen!GoGe x fem!teen!curse seer!reader, set in an AU where the guys did go through with it ... you have been warned. ⚠️

Cause #261 and fanarts of Gojo saying yes to Geto have given me the push to finally get this out. I have been working on this since September of LAST YEAR SO I hope yall enjoy this.

And I'm working on a pt 2 to this set a few months to a year later of the aftermath. Cause Lord, Clan Head Gojo x Cult Leader Geto x Reader but they're dark now kinda I wanna explore in my own way. With them kids. Their kids. And scene.

*DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, COPY, EDIT, PLAGARIZE, AND OR STEAL MY FANFIC WORK. Rather if you enjoy my fan work, then reblog, like, comment, n follow pls n thnx u.

"You're late, Suguru."

Indeed he was.

"No … I guess you got here fast. There are several Star Religious Group facilities in the city, after all."

Something felt seriously off the moment the snowy-haired sorcerer raised his head.

"Satoru? Is that you?"

The look in his eyes … practically radiating their potent rebirth … a stark contrast to the fading scuffs of blood running down the left half of his face, down both sides of his mouth, weariness evident.

"What happened?"

This was not his Satoru. This one … had seen hell first hand. In a twisted way, they both have today. Literally at death's door.

"I see you already saw Shoko."

"Yeah, she healed me. I'm fine now."

And yet, a long sleeved uniform arm slipped out from under the sheet, swaying a bit til staying still as a lifeless corpse would be.

"No … me being safe doesn't help anything here."

Not when he failed to keep their promise to Riko-chan. She was ready to walk away from the merger with him. Choosing to live for herself rather than follow her pre-chosen fate. Yet, fate had other plans. A cruel one, at that.

"I screwed up. You're not at fault." Gojo sounded so blunt, so calm … willing to accept all the blame for their greatest failure yet.

"Let's head back."

An eerie ringing began penetrating Geto's hearing as the clapping kept going. He chalked that up as an explanation as to why he thought he misheard Gojo's next words.

"Suguru, should we kill these guys? The way I feel right now, I doubt I'd feel anything about it."

As the form of Gojo carrying Amanai's draped body was being overshadowed by the pure white radiance of the smiling clapping cultists, Geto's morality dilemma prodded his mind, unable to meet Gojo's gaze.

"No. There's no point. It looks like there are only common believers here. The masterminds who know about our world have probably fled already. And unlike with the bounty, they won't be able to talk their way out of this. The organization had problems to begin with. It'll be dissolved soon enough."

Geto, standing in the pure white room of morality, starkly contrasted Gojo as he brushed past him and stood in the crimson room of immorality.

"No point, huh? Does there really need to be any point to it?"

Does there need to be a rhyme or reason for them to act on this? Ideally yes. They may be above the laws in most cases, but even sorcerers can't enact vengeance on regular humans. Unless they were curse users or even like the Sorcerer Killer, they couldn't lay a hand on them.

Realistically?

Right now?

The clapping grew louder, mocking him. Antagonizing him.

Gleefully celebrating her death and their own damaged, traumatizing failure.

Geto's left hand curled into a fist.

His morals were conflicting with his personal feelings; his fist shaking in restrained emotion.

His almond eyes, weariness tainting his eyebags, finally looked up.

Out at the clapping, smiling crowd.

"It's very important that there is. Especially for a jujutsu sorcerer."

Even the cruelest scum of the Earth get away scot free, never facing retribution. Darkness grew underneath him, outstretched to reach their seemingly untouchable light, as his fractured moral code made way for his true inner self to finally show its true colors.

"But not us …"

Gojo stiffened. Slightly looking back over his shoulder, peering inside the open doorway, his radiating Six Eyes turned on at the darkened gaze of Geto's eyes slightly looking back in return.

"Not today."

Rage and distraught guides him.

He would right this wrong.

To the bloody damn end.

Now triggered by those firm, final words, Gojo's heightened state strengthened as he set Amanai's body down gently on the hallway floor, the anger he didn't feel on her behalf in his rematch against the fallen Zen'in man was finally making its appearance, intertwining with an unhinged drive for chaos in his blood as a twisted gleam overtook his lips.

Survival of the weakest. Discouragement of the strong. That's how society should be; one where jujutsu sorcerers protect non-sorcerers. That's what he always strived to uphold despite his inner demons. But now… they as sorcerers still failed in the end.

Riko-chan, Kuroi-san, the weak but good ones, now dead by the orchestration of these unforgivable heinous —

"Monkeys." Having seen that monkey assassin's standing corpse himself on his way inside; decimated and dripping with bloodied spilled guts, made Geto wish he could deal the killing blow himself back in Tengen's domain.

This would have to do, feeling ready to puke when he uttered the same word as that scarred mouthed bastard, wincing as the shadowed hole he summoned released his newest curse.

The same cursed worm draped over his shoulder, opening its mouth to pop out the handle of a cursed tool, one Geto pulled out as swiftly as Gojo began ascending to heights unbound, slicing the cursed energized blade through the air as tears sprung from his unforgiving dark eyes.

"DIE!"

Those monkeys' glee changed to confusion then bursting out in waves of panic as the blade grew in length the more Geto spread his cursed energy into it.

Several heads got sliced sideways, splattering blood over some's prime white apparel, kicking off the shrill hysterics.

In an instant, Gojo blips out of sight only to plow through a row of them scurrying ants in his way like the cursed speedster he had become.

Blown off head chunks.

Fists jutted right through their torsos right and outta their spines.

Setting off carnage filled piñatas left and right.

Trained on every weakling in his sight, Gojo's uniform grew darker as more blood seeped further in with each blow.

Reappearing as he grabbed a randomly chosen neck, snapping it in two with ease, before blocking a panicking one that tried socking him from behind, glowing eyes narrowed in as he clenched their fist before ripping their arm right off with swift ease. Their tortured screech is heard one moment, the sound of bones crunching in Gojo's other hand the next.

Through hatred fueled adrenaline, Geto cleaved in them guts to match the mutilated limbs that rolled across the crimson spreaded floor.

Those attempting to flee were squandered as the force field of Limitless smooshed them, splattering the now cracked dented walls; minced red.

Many more sunken noggins soared in the air, sprinkling red from on high.

Screams and splatters became the symphony of Pandemonium.

Flinging the chain around the neck of one, Geto swung them like a chain and ball, crushing many others against the walls.

Those petrified hideous faces get their brains ruptured out; globby chunks vomiting out by mere cursed thought.

Many rammed right into the glass window ceiling, sending cracks racing in its wake, the pure white sunlight becoming a neon red.

Shards of glass rained down, deflected by Limitless as the pair found themselves back to back, watching with callousness as many were skewered like porcupines.

Limbless lumps of lifeless flesh plastered every inch of the once pristine interior from every wall, crevice, and even the ceiling had scarlet drenching it.

Their haggard breaths and sweaty burning faces aside, their dark craving for retribution still lingered in them both.

It wouldn't be enough.

Not until every last member was eviscerated.

Dismissing the worm, Geto scanned the room, trembling at the grotesque aftermath.

His cerise painted hands hung limply at his sides.

Amiss the madness, their residuals were there.

Fortunately they knew to an extent how to hide them. However long those held out, they couldn't waste a moment. Any longer than that spent here meant capture followed by immediate execution.

Feeling himself moving by a firm grasp tugging on his hand, his light headed state transitioned to a frigged one over what they had just committed. The solid squeeze of Gojo's sizzling hand helped pull him further out of his own unsteady mindset.

"Satoru …" He internally felt revolted at having those monkeys wretched blood covering his skin.

"Suguru."

Through the path of red, his closest friend – his ally in genocide – turned to him with cherry-red streaking his unbuttoned jacket and the collared white undershirt, for his glowing – exhausted – eyes were scarred with the brutal truth. Reaching his stained, steadfast hands out for that stained lost face, Gojo rested his forehead against Geto’s, staring into those stricken eyes of one of his most greatest treasures.

"Come with me. Let's get away.”

Blood trickled down from the ceiling, spilling along their hair, staining their faces, but both couldn't care less as they sealed it with a kiss. Lost in the bloody euphoria, relishing in one another's warmth.

The new taste of searing iron overtook the repelling flavor of cursed spirits, overwhelming the pair as Geto clawed at Gojo's back and the latter's hands massaged the former's supple cheeks, bringing muffled moans outta them both.

It feels right … anywhere … as long as it's with each other. It's just right.

Wherever they end up, whatever it may be, may it be nowhere near here whenever whichever sorcerers would be sent to investigate this now scene of massacre.

Once partners in sorcery.

Now partners in crime.

What a send off for them, the newly dropouts.

The clapping halted.

The ringing faded.

Their hearts felt lighter.

But something still felt off.

Someone was missing.

"Y/n." Geto's eyes opened to stare into Gojo's as they parted lips. "We can't leave her behind … we can't …"

Knowing their cursed seer partner probably foresaw the bloody chain of events that had recently just transpired in the last few hours. But knowing how abrupt they can be, maintaining and willing them into your mind’s eye was still a burdening struggle, ergo you being left behind at school for tiring training.

The heavy fog of bloodlust and tension between them lifted for now Geto's eyes lightened at sensing that familiar presence. He knew Gojo sensed it as well, for his glowing eyes followed his lead, taking Riko back in his arms, the duo raced to the surface outside.

You had ran outta the car that dropped you off down the street. You gulped to stifle back the bile at the gory sight of the fallen Zen’in still standing; the bloody puddle reaching for you now.

Your gaze averted once you spotted them coming out, hurrying over, your stomach churning at how scrapped up and red they appeared, but your empathy outweighed the disgust as Geto caught you in his heavy weighted grasp.

The fear in Geto's eyes mingled with confusion and concern. "Y/n … I … we –!”

Gojo’s eyes slanted as you kept your face hidden. "Did you get a vision?”

Your shaky nod against Geto’s chest paired with your ashamed tone. “I was too late … I,” An anxious pause of silence stretched between you three. “Shoko told me where you were headed after healing you … then came another one … of course you two would get Riko’s body back …”

They waited for the heart shattering blow. The final nail in the coffin. You shunning them away, cutting ties immediately. Rejecting them for their heinous act. Fleeing away in horror to Jujutsu High, reporting their sorry asses and ousting them as traitors. All the above — !

“The system would have let these zealots slip through the cracks. They … their assassin … they all deserve to rot in hell for what they've done … all because of Tengen … Kuroi and Amanai have been avenged.” Your callous tone kinda threw them off a tad bit.

Geto gulped. “You … You're okay with it?”

Your head finally rose up, the glossy layer to those e/c eyes sparkled from the sliver of sunset. "I know I can't make up for letting you all down … and no amount of apologies can redeem my blunder … but I can do this at least. I'll bring her back to the school, back to Kuroi-san. They deserve to be laid to rest together.”

You reluctantly pull away from Geto’s warmth; uncaring about the red stains smearing your clothes now, to take the wrapped up body as Gojo gently passes her into your arms, melancholy heavy on your face but the strength of resolve aiding you in carrying her. “My place is with you two. Always. Now more than ever.”

Geto’s eyes pricked with burning warmth; your willingness to stay despite everything, as he kissed your temple. “We should be apologizing to you.”

“There's still more of those facilities in the city left standing. We're not finished just yet.” Gojo's voice spoke doom for their upcoming targets, a stark contrast to his own kiss to your forehead being so sweet.

“They all need to go. Every single one of them.” Geto clenched his veiny hands, determined to see this through to the end. “We will return for you. If you wouldn't mind packing our things for us by the time we show up …”

You nodded, sadly smiling. "Don't keep me waiting too long.”

Their brisk nods to you paired with smooches to your cheeks were all you were given before you watched them holding hands then warping away.

The driver stayed silent as they drove your contemplative self, keeping her cold self close to your warmth, back to school for the last time.

°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•

The sun had set.

Crimson painted the sky.

A young girl's life ended by a gunshot to the head.

Two young teens, forced to face the cruel reality of their lives through near death.

The Star Religious Group Headquarters.

House of the Children of the Star.

Their monotheistic religion spent worshiping their absolute God; Tengen.

Crossing the wrong sorcerers, nearly costing them their lives in the process at the hands of their hired assassin; the Zen'in clan failure.

Their facilities left as ruins scattered in ruble, collapsed craters layering the grounds, red painting the toppled stone and marble.

The trauma of near death, failing to keep their promises to protect their friends' lives, and losing to a physically gifted human … their pride as the strongest duo now tarnished.

Retribution.

Selfish desires made to fruition.

With Riko-chan now gone, the assimilation was now void.

Tengen-sama had evolved.

The barrier hiding the school's location was weakened and easily spotted by the Six Eyes.

You solo carried Riko to the morgue, spotting your senpai and fellow kouhai watching you from the distance, ignoring your driver hurriedly running to inform Yaga-sensei of the turn of events, but only making eye contact with Shoko as she was standing out front by the entrance, already expecting you, prepared for the worst.

You two stayed silent, understanding exactly just from seeing the acceptance in your gaze.

Seeing the covered bodies laying side by side on the tables, you prayed over the mother daughter pair, believing the guys would stop by to do the same, hopefully.

As you just finished zipping up one of three duffle bags meant for each of you in your room, you felt the ripples through the Force that is cursed energy.

The fuse was lit. The air pricked with sparks as those two set off a chain reaction.

You could visualize the facilities up in flames.

“You really are idiots.” Shoko leaned against the open doorway, smoke in her disapproving frown. “To think they'd go this far … and you're bailing with them.”

“My whole world ended when I lost my mom. My dad was a broke ass deadbeat. Then I was discovered, brought here and met you all. You became the family I needed … so I thought that was enough. But those two … they're my everything. We ride or die together. You can join us or stay here. That goes for you two as well, ya know.”

You felt Haibara and Nanami hiding behind the wall before joining Shoko in the sliding doorway. By the looks on their faces, the news spread like wildfire.

“If I go with you guys, then the higher ups will force my sister to take my place.” Haibara frowned at the guilty truth.

“Rules and regulations keep us in line, as much as they suck.” Nanami sulked.

“Those old cods view us all as disposable tools. We're not heroes. We have our own ideals, desires, lives even. And if it means I may die down the line because I choose to walk away, then I'd rather die with freedom than serve them as their obedient lapdog.” You spoke devotedly.

“I don't get it.” The blunt tone and her aversion to eye contact made you realize how left out Shoko still felt that her two crazy guy friends were willing to leave them – leave her – behind.

“It'd be nice to have you by our side Ieiri … but I know you still have Utahime to consider.” You grinned at seeing the tiny pink tinted rise to her cheeks.

“You're our classmates! To have you and our senpai be branded as curse users, I don't want to have to fight you guys!” Haibara's angry tears made your heart waver. Your own eyes burned with cursed energy.

The static film reel of seeing your guys getting savagely brutalized, Riko and Kuroi's murders, even further down the line … glimpsing Haibara scarred and pale and so damn still —

“You're still our friends. Always.”

Even with glistening chibi eyes and stubbornly pursed lips, Haibara realized you had made up your mind, reaching Nanami's hand to squeeze and be his anchor.

“It's not a crime to be a kid, but the accumulation of life's little despairs make you become an adult. Remember that.” Nanami understood that much, knowing the guys are capable of setting the world on fire when pushed too far. Like so.

Blinking back tears yourself, you nodded. “If you ever need us or change your mind, you know how to reach us.”

Throwing the duffle bags outta the window before jumping out yourself took them all by surprise. Jutting their heads out, they were relieved yet anxious spotting Geto's manta ray cursed spirit flying away, the bags and you safe across his lap and wrapped up in his arms.

His crestfallen gaze back at them was the last sight of him they received when they also spotted Gojo floating on high, gazing at them with melancholy, the living example of Nanami's parting words to you.

Knowing deep in your intuition they snuck into the morgue to pay their final respects to Riko and Kuroi before retrieving you, you kept quiet about it, trusting them wholly to catch you as well.

On that day, everything changed.

On that night, there was no turning back.

But to both yours and Geto's surprise, the boldness of Gojo as he landed right by you both on the manta ray and grasped Geto's shoulder, his suggestion for a hideaway took your breaths away.

The empty private home – one of quite many – belonging to his family's clan; this one gifted solely to him. Even as fugitives, making such a bold choice to hide there, Gojo sure is a wild child.

Wading in the waters of the giant tub to wash away the blood, flushing the pink tinted liquid down the drain, then filling up the tub once more made way for some scented oil that helped elevate the tranquil vibes.

“You're certain?” Geto scrubbed his shoulder length sudsy hair, brushing his wet locks.

“The clan has too many spots all over Japan. We crash here tonight, take what we can to sell for cash in case the geezers fry our bank accounts, then high tail someplace new. Like say, I don't know, overseas?” Gojo's lax assurance transformed him into a chibi in Geto's point of view; resting his head and arms back against the tub's rim.

Almond eyes darkened, catching the scar stretching from Gojo's lithe neck, across that toned chest, and stopping by his hip poking out of the bubbly water.

Exhaustion smeared with piqued intrigue and guilt in those blue eyes spotting the X shaped scar on Geto's sculpted chest.

Red tints colored their faces as pleased sighs left their lips at the warm water loosening up their stiff muscles, fingers weaving through each other's slick hair, bringing their faces closer, brown meeting blue as they stared longingly at each other.

The unique connection ergo magnetic attraction was evident. From clashing freshmen to still bickering but budding sophomores. And now, as fresh genocidal dropouts, they both looked like they aged a lot.

The contrasts, the similarities, their yin yang dynamic.

That and the fuzzy warmth was getting to them.

“I'm really glad you're alive.” Geto nuzzled his nose against Gojo's.

“RCT for the win.” That albino pecked the corner mouth of his raven.

Their tired giggles relieved the tension.

Brushing their bare dripping shoulders together, lips connected, initiating timid soft touches. Drool connected their heated tongues, their heated breath fanning one another's face, oh so close, wanting more.

Your hums of content grabbed their attention as you waded over to them, watching your round cheeks blowing soapy bubbles into their faces.

Running your hands down their scars made your lips tremble at the agony they went through. Entrapped in their arms, you hummed as their lithe hands caressed your supple smooth skin for they were touched by your gingerly layered kisses along their tender marked flesh.

Toru's yawning broke out, worrying you and Sugu who suggested you all start drying up. Toru was the most exhausted being actively awake using Six Eyes for 3 days straight.

But you all were, mentally and emotionally.

The electric dryer rumbled as your wet uniforms swirled within. The AC hummed in the backdrop.

Duffle bags left open as you three laid in the enormous bed, you three snuggled in close on the center.

Setting up a small simple altar in honor of Riko and Kuroi in the room gave you all some peace of mind, especially when burning some smoky incense to cleanse the place. To pray and hope that their souls were in a better place than the hell they're stuck on called Earth.

“I detest humanity. Swallowing cursed spirits made from the worst parts of their very existence for so long confirms that. Killing those cultists put my mind at ease … as horrible as that must be to you.” Suguru's weary gaze shifted to meet Satoru's now unsettlingly calm ones as they laid atop the bed beside each other, clad in just boxers, with you splayed across Satoru wearing just a large tee you all shared just cause.

“You've been feeling this way for a long time, then.” Suguru flushed as Satoru weaved his hand through those silky obsidian strands, free from the metaphorical shackles of his usual restrained bun. “I'm sorry I didn't realize it.”

Suguru's cheek nuzzled his wrist, breathing in Satoru’s cozy scent. “I never wanted you to. Or anyone for that matter. These are my own feelings to grapple with.”

Satoru's messy cat hair shook, tickling Suguru's face, closing his stinging eyes to let them rest for the moment as their foreheads touched. “Well, now, we'll carry that burden together.”

“We're branded as curse users now … we're on our own from here … and you're fine with that?” Sugu was skeptical for the most part.

“I never held hatred for anybody before … not even over Amanai's death … but I always knew my life would be spent as a living weapon for jujutsu society … a monster. And now that I've crossed the line … there's no coming back from that … but I'd do it all again …if it mended the pain you felt inside. I just … I don't want you suffering in silence anymore. I never want to leave you behind.” That soothing voice of his cracked.

Suguru was breathless seeing red in those reopened agonized eyes.

“Still … I took advantage of your heightened state and let my emotions cloud my judgment. I'm supposed to be the moral compass … yet I'm no better than those monkeys … and you nearly died because of them … I'm sorry Satoru … I'm so sorry.” Water hit Toru’s skin as the choked up weeping of his best friend smothered his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. I'm here, aren't I?” Keeping an arm wrapped around his partner, Satoru smooched the crown of Suguru's precious noggin, being tickled by those loose bangs in the face, shushing him and kissing that pierced ear of his. “And even you need to cut yourself some slack and lean on others too, ya know. And realize … you can't get rid of me that easily. You're stuck with this monster for a long time, Suguru~”

That possessive, enamored voice compelled Suguru to peak out and witness those lovesick eyes; the polar opposite to the tunnel vision of the reawakened Satoru Gojo that approached him with Riko-chan in his arms, struck right at his core.

The soft warm lamp on the side table paired with the sliver of moonlight between the curtains transformed their eyes into mini galaxies. Their own universe even to dwell in and share together.

“Hmm.” He brushed back Satoru's locks to spot the scar on his forehead and kiss that booboo. “You've never been a monster to me. Just a goofy idiot.”

Elated chuckles hit his giant lobed ears as his resident goofball pecked his blushing nose. “Your goofy idiot, smart ass.”

“Awwww~”

Flinching at that familiar voice, the guys directed their flushed gazes to you; your cheek mushed against Toru's pillow chest, fawning over them with your e/c eyes, round with sparkles and hearts set a glow in ‘em.

“I agree with all the above. Don't mind me. Just get it on with the yaoi goodness.”

“How subtle.” Suguru's eyes crinkled with mirth.

“She's got good taste, though.” Satoru's feline grin followed, rolling you both over to smush you in between them, pecking your forehead. “Period.”

You frowned. “All the apologies in the world can't make up for me letting you two down today.”

“Nonsense.” Suguru disagreed as the back of your head cushioned in between his plush pecs. “Having you here with us makes this shitty day much better.”

“We all screwed up.” Gojo griped before it became a longer deeper yawn.

Your eyes glowed a moment before dying down, alerting them and reminding you. “Time for you to sleep. Cause we got a lot of shit to think over on how to move forward. For all of us.” His exasperated sigh was met by your chaste lips as you leaned up to kiss him; him returning it to suck them up.

“Yes ma'am.” His pouting turned to a dopey grin; growing wider when Suguru kissed him goodnight too. That finally conked him out, breathing softly, when Suguru's hand wrapped around your side, turning you to lay on your back so he could see you properly; eyes clad in guilt of his own.

“Y/n, in no way should you feel responsible for what happened. That assassin would have killed you too if you had gotten involved. If we lost you as well …” His forehead met yours, letting you kiss him slowly, pulling him in to relish your personal taste. “My hope is that they're in a better place now.”

“Me too … My visions are just as much an omen as they are an aid. In this world there are no guarantees for a peaceful living … but I believe in you two … no matter what … and I know in my heart this is worth it, risks and all.”

Your honest smile made him grateful for accepting him, despite all that's happened, his tears hitting your face in response so you kissed his tears away.

“Thank you, Y/n.” His whispers met your lips as you two got caught up in another kiss when you two grunted in surprise as Satoru flipped you both over, smothering you two under his precious heat.

“‘M love you both, mmh so much.” He mewled, sleepy eyes peeking open to drowsily smile down at you two.

“Satoru, we can't breathe.” A red faced Suguru wheezed out.

Satoru languidly laughed, “My bad.”

Thankfully, you three were able to get some shuteye that night.

They're your whole world now.

Deep down inside, they know they're both monsters, for that day brought the truth to light of their dark potential.

But they're your monsters.

Your empathetic, devious, passionate monsters.

And as far as the truth goes, you too are just the same.

Three of a kind, indeed.

[will-schuester-hate-blog]

my glee unpopular opinions!!!!!

so I've seen a lot of people do this and I'm gonna try my best do opinions that I actually don't see a lot of, or feel like people would disagree with. so it's not just gonna be like ''I don't like (x) ship!'' or something like that.

I think that the Warblers were the best when they were led by Sebastian, not Blaine. Don't get me wrong, Blaine's fantastic, but I found I just enjoyed watching Warbler performances more when Sebastian led them. Also because Sebastian's voice isn't as traditional as Blaine's so I'm more interested by it.

2. I said this in a previous post so I'm just gonna copy and paste it here: kurt and elliott getting together whilst kurt and blaine were broken up or smth would've actually been a much more satisfying temporary couple than any of kurt OR blaine's random other partners (like adam and stuff but also because WTF was that blaine/karofsky shit that felt like a slap in the face) (no hate to karofsky my man actually did change his ways but STILL) I'm a diehard Klaine shipper, however if Kurt was to (temporarily) get with anyone else during the show that I wouldn't be that pissed about, it would probably be Elliott.

3. I don't really hate Rachel, and that's not such an unpopular opinion, but what might be is the fact that I like her but I do not think she's a good person. Like at all. She's literally so self-centered and honestly does a ton of bad things that aren't touched on at all. So what I'm saying is that I like Rachel, but I think most of the things she does are literally unjustifiable.

4. I think Puck is a good character. I know his actor is horrible and all that but I'm talking about just the character here. I think that honestly he was one of the characters who went through the most actual character development in the show. While he doesn't change a lot in terms of just being generally a troublemaker and all that, he actually grows to care about the other member of the glee club and I think that's kind of important character growth for him. So yeah Puck isn't all that bad actually imo.

now for some short ones that I'm gonna be more mean and less sophisticated about so that I don't have to explain them that much:

-kurt and quinn should've had a more touched on friendship, I think it would've been cool.

- candles is an amazing duet fuck you all. /lh

- same thing with ''perfect'' I honestly can't believe how many people say they didn't like it. especially since I thought it was gonna be that fuckin ed sheeran song when I first looked at the title.

-yet another kurt one, I think blackbird may be just a teensy weensy little itty bitty bit overrated. Like it's really nice but people are out here claiming it's his ''best song'' like???

[purefandomonium]

The Lingering Ghost

(Title pending because titles are hard)

Alright even though it's late and I'm tired, I'm really excited to share this! So I'll be posting it here first before I give it one final edit and post it to AO3. I posted some snippets before but here's the entire thing.

I've been wanting to do some kind of horror story w/Initial D for ages and this is the result. It's more angst and bittersweet than true horror, but I still had a ton of fun working on it. It's a little under 5k btw so give yourself some time to hunker down if you do decide to check it out. Also formatting should be ok but I also just copied/pasted it so it's possible something got jumbled somewhere.

Summary: It wasn't uncommon in the world of street racing. People crashed all the time. Curses were shouted, cars fixed up, wallets run dry. Eyes too, sometimes. Stories of crashes were spoken about as often as songs were sung. Usually, though, the stories came from the drivers themselves. They weren't supposed to be told in hushed tones as a warning to other racers who thought themselves too good to wreck. They weren't supposed to end so badly. They sure as hell weren't supposed to happen on Akina.

Iketani slumped against a nearby pump, in part due to the day's heat but mostly from the weight of his gloomy mood. Its surface was covered in dust with a bit of grime, and he internally sighed at the thought of having to wash it and all the others before his shift ended. He drew bored little patterns across the filth. "Man… I haven't felt like hitting the pass at all this past week." The frowning stick man he completed seemed to share his miserable demeanor.

"Same here," Kenji sighed from beside his friend. He kicked a small pebble and watched it ping off a nearby sign. "I don't know what it is but something about the whole thing just has me on edge. I can't stand the thought of being anywhere close to the mountain right now."

"Yeah… Me three." Even Itsuki's usual energy couldn't overcome the heavy air around them as he, too, leaned against one of the pumps in despair. Despite being far from it, Mount Akina's presence seemed to loom right over his shoulder. He felt threatened by his own sanctuary; the ultimate betrayal from what he considered an old friend. It hurt in a way he couldn't describe.

"Wonder how he's holding up." Iketani nodded to Takumi who was finishing with a customer. "Not having a choice in the deliveries and all that. It's gotta be hard on the guy." It would certainly be hell for him, and he'd only driven out there once since it all went down. He couldn't imagine having to be out there every night. Alone. At the mercy of whatever strange force was holding their mountain hostage.

Kenji hummed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I dunno, he seems the same as always. It's hard to tell if it even bothers him or if he's just spaced out as usual." Takumi was a strange one. Hard to read and even harder to get a reaction out of. He looked normal but there was no telling what inner turmoil he may be hiding, if any.

Two sets of curious eyes soon landed on the youngest Speed Star. Itsuki met them both and shrugged in response, not quite as easily excited by the attention as he used to be. "I couldn't tell you what he's thinking," he replied as he shifted his gaze to the approaching Takumi. There was only one way to find out. Standing straight and adding some energy into his voice, he called out, "Hey, man, how you holding up?"

Takumi stopped in his tracks and noted the three sets of eyes fixated on him. He couldn't quite pin it, but they seemed… concerned? "Fine, I guess," came his reply. "It's pretty hot out though." He blinked in confusion as the three idiots he called friends simultaneously groaned. OK, so that was the wrong answer. What was the concern for then if not his health?

"Dude, that's not what Itsuki meant," Iketani sighed, rolling his eyes. Pushing himself up straight and smudging his little dust doodles, he continued, "We're wondering how you feel about the crash on Akina."

A sharp jolt shot through his spine, but he reigned it in before his body could respond to it. His voice was steadier than he felt. "Oh. Well, I feel awful about it, obviously. It's sad." He leaned back as Itsuki shoved himself into his personal space.

"Yeah but… what about all the, y'know…" He glanced around like there were people eavesdropping. Lowering his voice to a whisper despite the lack of paparazzi, he spit out, "The stories?"

"What, about a vengeful ghost or whatever?" He nudged Itsuki away and kept his expression neutral.

"A lot of the guys have been talking about some weird stuff going on since it happened," Iketani supplied. "I thought they were just being paranoid but the one time I went out there…" He shivered despite the oppresive summer heat. Already, goosebumps were dotting his arms at the mere memory. "I can't really describe it, but I got the worst feeling of dread. Like I wasn't supposed to be there and needed to leave immediately." He huffed out a bittersweet laugh. "Imagine that. Chased off my own turf by some invisible force." He absently rubbed at his arms, still feeling a lingering chill.

Takumi mulled the story over in his mind with a quiet hum. He'd been running the deliveries like usual and while there had been an odd sense of something, nothing had ever come from it. He was pretty sure what he'd been feeling the past several days had been nothing more than discomfort at the whole situation.

Not that they needed to know that.

Keeping his voice in its usual deadpan, he said, "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but I haven't noticed anything. Driving on Akina has been the same as always." Same corners, same speed, same road. Nothing had changed. Nothing except for one unfortunate spot.

"Bah! That ghost probably doesn't want anything to do with a boring person like you anyway," Itsuki shouted, forgetting about the imaginary spies from just moments ago.

"Or maybe," Takumi began, flicking his best friend on the forehead, "there is no ghost and you guys are just being weird."

"Normally, I'd agree with you, Takumi," Kenji said as he crossed his arms. "But this is…" He glanced in the direction of Akina and grimaced before turning away from the distant titan. "I don't know, something really does seem off out there. The other Speed Stars all have some wild stories. Don't you think it's strange that so many people are agreeing on this?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He shrugged and went to head inside to cool off for a minute, ignoring their combined chagrin at his nonchalance. He could really use some water and a nap right now. It was unfortunate that he'd be allowed only one of those things.

***

Having finished the deliveries, his run down the mountain was no different than the countless other times he'd raced home. It was the same as always, just like he'd told the others earlier. The familiar road blurred beneath the Eight–Six, headlights the only things cutting through the darkness of Akina. There was only one thing that stood out amongst the shadows, revealed by the Trueno's yellow-white glare.

The words of his friends echoed through his mind as he slowed to a stop and stared at the only remaining signs of wreckage. The engine's soft purring did nothing to soothe the sudden wave of emotion that hit him, so much stronger than it had ever been before.

The guardrail was still twisted and deformed—far worse than when Iketani had wiped out—and its silver sheen was marred with scrapes and oil. Caution tape fluttered about, a pitiful barrier between life on the road and death on the side of the mountain. Fragments of plastic and glass twinkled like they were stars embedded in the earth. The emergency workers had missed a fair bit of debris, or perhaps they would get the rest of it once the guardrail was replaced.

Somehow, even though he hadn't been present to witness it, he could hear the jarring sound of the impact, of metal shrieking and plastic crunching. The sharp echo of breaking glass rang in his ears as his imagination played out the scene against his will. In his mind's eye, he watched the car hit the guardrail and shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. The headlights were first to erupt in an explosion of glass. The front end crumpled as the windshield formed a network of cracks before giving way and sending shrapnel into the cabin. The force that bent the guardrail into its horrid shape would no doubt have been enough to cause the interior of the car to shrink. If it somehow wasn't, well, the jagged cliff face would take care of that.

With a gasp, Takumi blinked the terrible vision out of his mind before it could show him what the driver must have felt like.

The driver who had been declared as unsalvageable as the car was. Loaded up and taken away in something better than a weathered tow truck, but loaded up and taken regardless. It was no wonder the guys were so shaken up by the whole thing. Truth be told, he wasn't entirely unbothered by it either. Every time the gruesome scene flickered past his headlights he felt the cold grip of dread squeeze his insides. He hated that feeling.

It wasn't like he could avoid driving on Akina though. The deliveries weren't gonna run themselves, and they'd sooner do exactly that before his dad would bother.

Really, he wasn't sure what about it was getting to him. The road had been scrubbed of oil and the tiny fragments of a broken vehicle were the only things left behind. Well, them and the destroyed guardrail, of course. He'd been spared the worst of the details—not counting the ones his mind unhelpfully supplied whenever he least expected. Aside from the grim melancholy of his friends, there was nothing tying him to this depressing turn of events. Some people liked to race on dark mountain roads, bad things were always possible, and there was nothing to be done about either.

Despite the fatigue gnawing at him and willing him to get home and sleep as much as he could before school, Takumi found himself stepping out of the Eight–Six. Without its refuge he was left at the mercy of the chilling breeze. There was nothing he could have done, nor could do, that would make any of this better. Yet he felt compelled to do something anyway. Perhaps it was because it happened on Akina. He continued to deny he was a street racer, but he did consider this his mountain. In a way. He'd been driving it for years, no one knew it better than him. So far anyone who tried to prove they could drive it better than him ended up losing.

He sucked in a heavy breath as it hit him. Was that it? Was this feeling… some kind of guilt? Whoever it was that crashed hadn't been local. That was the first thing he learned about all this. The second had been that they weren't the most experienced racer. Any further detail than that—like who they raced with or even who they were—was a mystery to him and probably for the better. He wouldn't know what to do with that information anyway. Send his regards? No.

He sighed and stepped closer to the mangled sheet metal, hand hovering over it. The Eight–Six murmured behind him, the only sound in the quiet static. He stood there for several—seconds? Minutes?—before mustering up the courage to rest his hand on the railing's cold surface, at the last spot before it became a misshapen mess. He sniffled and couldn't tell if it was from the cold or something else.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into the silence. His fingers tightened against the guardrail as he stood there wondering what in the hell he was doing. He'd driven past this same spot every night for the past week and never felt compelled to do… whatever this was. Still, he was already out here. Might as well commit.

"I, uh, I know that saying sorry doesn't really change anything but…" Dammit. What was he trying to do here? Apologize to someone who was already dead? Whose death had nothing to do with him? He sniffled again and realized the weather wasn't the culprit. It was the middle of summer. It should only be slightly below stifling right now. Yet out here, silhouetted by the warm glow of the Eight–Six, his skin felt cold and prickly. Goosebumps. Maybe there was some truth behind Iketani's ghost story after all.

Takumi let his hand fall from the guardrail and turned back the panda Trueno, the stark white of its paint the only other thing standing out against Akina's darkness. There was no whispering of leaves in the wind, no insects making their grating calls, nothing but empty silence punctuated by the still-idling engine. The goosebumps returned full-force as he froze in place.

Standing beside the red glow of the Eight–Six's taillights was a lone figure. It looked to be about his height—the same age too, by assumption—and that was all he could make out. The shadows clung to them like a cloak.

Takumi swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he stared at the entity. "Hello?" He was met with silence. The shadowy mass remained motionless, seeming to stare right through him. Without thinking about the risks of turning away, he craned his neck to glance at the site of the wreck once more. Noting a lack of changes, he swiveled his gaze back to the eerie figure who still hadn't moved.

Their silent staring contest went on for another uncomfortable few moments before Takumi worked up the nerve to try speaking to them again. He took a couple of steps closer and when nothing happened, he spoke up. "Are you… the one who died here?" He winced. Of all the things to say to a potential ghost, the first thing out his mouth was questioning if they were dead? Brilliant. It would be a miracle if he survived this encounter.

That unnerving silence still hung in the air as what Takumi assumed was their head dipped down once in a simple nod.

His lips formed a silent 'oh' as though the answer weren't already obvious. As his mind processed what to say next, he blinked once only to stumble back in shock at its sudden proximity. He lost his footing and landed on the dusty pavement as the ghost loomed before him, mere steps away. Even with the headlights shining against its back, it remained shrouded in pure darkness. The shadows of its body seemed to swallow the light whole, a hungry abyss. The air around it was still and icy, like that of a frozen lake. Aside from its humanoid figure there was nothing else separating it from the dark night around them.

In the back of his mind, he wondered if dying meant erasing who you were somehow. He shoved the thought away before he could really question it. Lying vulnerable in the dirt before a potentially angry spirit was a bit more important than a mortality crisis.

His own shadow began to pool in wisps around him and a bolt of panic made his stomach drop and his heart lurch. The smokey tendrils tickled his skin like electrified feathers as they danced along his arms and hands. His throat was tight and he didn't know if it was the spirit's doing or his own primal fear. He remained rigid, helpless to the supernatural force before him.

Before the tears that had been welling up could start running, the shadows that were lapping at his hands and legs slithered away to the ghost. They flowed and swayed around its feet with wild movements, like a writhing octopus.

Takumi blinked back the wetness and realized the misty darkness was shaping itself into words. Slowly, as if it took great effort, a sentence was formed.

Why are you here?

He didn't know the answer to that question. How could he answer that question? As the sheer panic he'd been feeling dissipated—gradually, because this was still an unknowable entity before him—Takumi felt his shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug.

The ghost tilted its head, clearly just as lost and confused about all this as Takumi.

He found his words after a long, uncomfortable silence. "I, uh, I guess I'm here because I feel really bad about what happened." And he really, truly did. The thought that this could have been him in his early days of deliveries hadn't escaped him. "Uh… Lots of people feel terrible about what happened." The shadows twisted before him once more.

Why? It's not your fault.

Now that it was clear the dead racer meant no harm, Takumi slowly stood and dusted himself off to stall for time to process. His eyes locked onto the ghost once he felt his heart rate return to normal. The abyss that was its face seemed to swirl and twist like a smoky whirlpool, and he found himself almost entranced before snapping to his senses after too many moments. His gaze then drifted to the crash site beside them, illuminated by the Eight-Six. "I know it's not my fault. But still." He turned back to the ghost, careful not to get lost in the inky blackness once more. He found focusing on the harsh lights of the car to be good at preventing that.

"I've been driving here for years. My dad owns a tofu shop and I run the deliveries to the hotel." He scratched the back of his head as something like fondness bubbled up. It was strange. "I kind of consider Akina my second home, so something like this happening has me shaken up."

I see. I appreciate your honesty.

What an odd thing to say. Then it clicked. His eyes widened. "Wait. Have you tried talking to people before?" It would line up with all the creepy stories his friends and the other racers were talking about. Some of them had mentioned that it seemed like the 'Dead Racer of Akina', or whatever they were calling it now, had tried to communicate with them.

Most of the people I wanted to talk to ran from me, the shadows spelled. Their movement was becoming sluggish now; it took longer and longer for them to form words. I tried to catch up to them but they were too fast. I never was a very good racer.

The ghost's 'shoulders' bounced like it was laughing. Then it stilled again.

I thought I could use the practice, but now I can't even form my car.

I think it's getting harder for me to stay here, but I don't want to go.

It's not fair.

Takumi's heart clenched. He wasn't sure if there was an afterlife, and he wasn't keen on finding out anytime soon. He could relate to the ghost's fear and anger about being left behind and doomed to an uncertain future more than he cared to admit.

I was able to talk to a couple people like this, the shadows offered to the silence. But they were more interested in the gruesome details of my death than anything else.

It made me angry.

Now it all made sense. The ghostly car chases, the heavy feeling of dread, the anger the mountain seemed to radiate to anyone who dared drive it. All except for Takumi. It was weird how he was spared from all of that.

I know who you are.

A sound of surprise escaped his throat. Was his mind being read? Before he could question it, the shadows had already shaped the answer.

I came out here that night because I was hoping to race you.

I didn't expect to win. But I didn't think I'd lose my life either.

The guilt boiled over and before he could stop them, the words were pouring out of his mouth. "I'm so sorry! I know I didn't ask you to come out here but I didn't want this to ever happen. I never wanted to be famous like this. I just wanted to get home as fast as possible to sleep! I-"

It's OK.

The words presented themselves right in front of his face, cutting off his rambling. Takumi felt the warmth sliding down his cheeks despite his best efforts to hold back the tears. There was something strangely comforting in the ghost's words even though they were never spoken. It was as though the shadows emitted more emotion than a voice ever could.

Speaking of shadows, he noticed the way the Eight-Six's light seemed to cut through them now. The darkness was no longer absorbing the light. It seemed whatever hold the dead racer had on this reality was slipping.

The ghost sensed this as well, as it stated, I know there's a lot you want to say but I don't have time.

All he could manage was a pathetic nod as he wiped away tears.

I don't know what happens now but I have a favor to ask you.

Will you race me?

Takumi's jaw nearly fell open. "After… everything… you still want to race me?"

It's the only reason I came out to Akina after all.

'Please allow me a proper sendoff,' was unspoken. Takumi didn't know who this person's family was but he could only hope they gave them a formal goodbye. It was obvious now that none of the racers on Akina had bothered to pay any respects; they were either too scared or too callous. Who would he be to deny their final request?

I don't expect to win, the shadows revealed, mistaking Takumi's hesitance as something other than realization. I just want to do the thing I died trying to do.

"…OK." Nothing more needed to be said. He'd give the ghost what it wanted, make it home in time to catch some sleep, and lay awake all night hoping the dead racer finally found peace.

Takumi's legs carried him past the ghost to the Eight-Six, mind alight with too many thoughts once more. He fell into the seat, the suspension creaking in response. As he shut the door, he looked up to where the phantom shadow had been standing only to find it gone. A glance in his rearview revealed a semi-solid mass of car behind him. A… 3000GT, Iketani had told him shortly after the accident. It wasn't the blinding white it had been pre-crash; it was comprised of total darkness just like its owner.

There were no lights on it but the red glow of his brakes confirmed it was there. He didn't need to be told to give it his all. Anything less would be downright disrespectful. Putting it into gear, the Eight-Six crawled away from the side of the road and began gaining speed. The ghostly car behind him lit up once more in his rearview as he hit the first corner, only to vanish into darkness again as he barreled away.

Three corners was all it took for him to no longer feel the presence behind him. He didn't know if it was because of the gap he'd made or if they'd finally lost their hold on the world of the living. It didn't matter. At least they'd gotten their final wish.

Takumi drove home feeling oddly lighter.

***

"It's so weird," Iketani said to a wide-eyed Itsuki. "I finally worked up the nerve to confront this ghostly pressure keeping me away from Akina, and it's just… gone. Like it was never even there." It had been just over a week and it was still all he could think about. After all that time being afraid, he'd gone out the previous night and had a completely normal drive.

"Maybe you guys were buying into that ghost stuff a little too much," came Yuichi as he exited the station with the intent to scold them for standing around.

"You don't understand, boss," Iketani argued as he whirled around. "I felt it! I couldn't make up that feeling if I wanted to."

He let out a disbelieving hum. "Not even if you were listening to a bunch of hogwash that got you all worked up before you even set foot out there?"

The leader of the Speed Stars deflated. "I know what I felt when I went out there a few days ago," he mumbled as he crossed his arms.

"I believe you," Itsuki said. He hadn't been out there at all since the crash due to the stories he'd been told, but that didn't change the fact he believed every single one. He didn't need to be out there to sense the creepy pressure warning him to stay away.

Iketani sighed. "Yeah, nothing screams believable like you of all people having my back."

The younger balked. "Hey I'm trying to help you, man!"

"Will you two quite goofing around and get back to work? Takumi's the only one who's got any semblance of sense right now, and that's saying something." The latter was spoken quietly so as not to catch his attention, though it wouldn't have mattered.

Takumi was lost in thought yet again, though this time it wasn't one of his usual dilemmas. He was distracted by what it meant to become a ghost and what sort of afterlife there was, if any. He couldn't get it out of his head. For all he knew, the ghost of that racer had faded into oblivion. That thought bothered him the most but he just couldn't shake it from his head.

It was fortunate he had a boisterous Itsuki to do it for him.

"What's got you all spaced out now?" he asked as he latched an arm across Takumi's shoulders. "You've been dazed a lot lately, you don't have a secret girlfriend, do you?" He gave his cheek a good pinch.

"Ow! Cut it out! That's not it at all." He managed to pry his friend's hand off his face and weasel out from his grip with an annoyed scowl.

"Are you OK, Takumi?" Iketani questioned as he shooed Itsuki aside. "You're not still upset about the accident, are you?"

It wasn't often his senior could get a good read on him, but when he did it never ceased to take him by surprise. He struggled to get his bearings. "I mean… It's just kind of messed up, you know?" Even moreso, now that he knew the real reason of the crash.

"Hey, I hear ya." He rested a hand stop the teen's shoulder and squeezed. "It's always terrible to hear about someone crashing. It's even worse when it leads to a death."

The three fell silent as the heavy truth settled over them. Even Yuichi took a moment to grieve the deadly stories he'd been privy to over the years.

Moment over, he continued, "Look, all we can do is try to be safe. Us Speed Stars take great pride in sanctioning races and making sure there's little to no risk. All the other teams worth their salt do the same. The sad truth is there will always be people who bite off more than they can chew." Hell, he'd nearly done the exact same thing not too long ago. It was a constant reminder to be more aware of his limits.

Itsuki, not wanting to be left out and hating the melancholy look Takumi wore, butt in with, "It's not your fault, Takumi. You didn't make them crash. I know we've been going on about ghosts and stuff, but Iketani was just out there last night and said it's fine now."

Takumi wanted the words to soothe him, but they did the exact opposite. None of them knew—nor would they ever know, if he could help it—that the whole thing was his fault. What a twisted way of fate. If he hadn't been so famous, if he weren't so skilled, if he had been the one to crash five years ago-

No. No going down that road. He couldn't control what other people thought of him. He couldn't stop people form wanting to become street racers. He certainly couldn't stop anyone from making a fatal mistake behind the wheel. The very person who'd died assured him he wasn't to blame. It would be disrespectful for him to ignore that fact in favor of self-loathing.

…This was going to eat at him for a very long time.

Yeah so I thought about giving 'the ghost' more of an identity but decided not to. Partially due to laziness but also because I like how mysterious it is. They're dead. They're just a mass of shadows so does the identity really matter anymore? They clearly aren't themselves anymore and I was trying to capture that but I'm not sure how well it turned out. I still had a ton of fun with this. It took me a long while to get it complete. I thought about adding a scene w/Bunta after Takumi returns home later than normal but decided not to. It was so freaking hard to write Takumi and I don't know how well I handled his personality or the hidden things I was trying to carry across. There was no way I was gonna attempt to write Bunta lol. Anyway. Thoughts are always appreciated. If you see any weird typos or something doesn't make sense, please tell me. I probably won't post this to AO3 for a little while longer because there's some stuff I'm still considering.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 3 "triangle" thoughts

okay. i have been told that this one is good. and i recognize the title of this episode from a piece of art i saw once where scully had a dress on. which made me need to catch my breath.

so. i am excited!!

let us read the episode description... hmm. i was one of those kids who was really worried about the bermuda triangle when i was little, so this might be healing for me. or make things worse.

mulder… don’t piss me off again! i still haven't forgiven you for that comment!!

ehehehehheeee, i’m excited!!!

post-episode thoughts: i am typing this after just having finished the episode, and i am feeling secret emotions i did not know existed an hour or so ago. wow. the nature of reality is that it can be SO profound. and i don’t even fully know what did or didn’t happen, which i believe was cultivated intentionally, but the friendships we made along the way were so real.

mulder, i will figure out what your deal is. scully, i will hold and cherish you forever.

we open on some waaaater. it seems a shipwreck has taken place!! NO, IS THAT DEAD MULDER? COME ON NOW, I DON’T WANT THAT. 

okay. intro time. so maybe he isn’t dead. maybe he was napping. underwater. 

SHORTENED INTRO AND NEW WORDS!!!!! “die wahrheit ist irgendwo da draußen” okaaaaay! i don’t speak german 💜 but i have a guess as to what that means

(and upon googling it, i was correct... yay! also, someone please appreciate my effort in going to wikipedia and copying and pasting the ß character just so i wouldn't get cancelled by the german speakers of the internet)

they’re pulling him out of the water!!!! and “they” sound like they are from across the pond!! but they are also speaking german, so who knows. whoever “they” are, they sure don’t recognize him.

they’re gonna throw him back overboard!!! but they find his ID and no one has ever heard of the FBI. he is baffled by this. how do you not know about the FBI? well, buddy, from the uniforms these fellows are wearing, i have some theories

the sailors take him to the captain and they’re beating him up!!! no one is bothering to introduce themselves. rude af??

ohhhh, he’s on the queen anne, which is the boat he came looking for!! so now he knows what is afoot. time warp. yeah.

LMAOOOOO he recites the EXACT location of the ship. okay. listen, i haven’t FORGIVEN him, but that is endearing. aww. i love when he nerds out.

ohhh noooo, they tell him it’s 1939 and hitler has just invaded poland and also this boat!! mulder thinks that the members of this ship have popped on over to 1998, but the opposite has happened!!! how is he gonna get out of this one?!

“it’s okay! the war’s over! let ‘em take you to germany, they make nice cars!” <- LMAOOOOO HE IS SO CONVINCED 

absolutely wild thing to say to someone who thinks that the nazis are afoot...

that is a grown man giggling and laughing because his time warp theory came true <3

he goes over to the radio and tries to call for help... and i am again impressed that he knows what he is doing on an old timey radio, but maybe that is a required FBI skill…. but the radio actually says that it *is* september 3rd, 1939, and there is war with germany!!!!

“oh, sh-" oh nooooo…. he has miscalculated……!!!

a german approaches!! it’s so hard to see because everything is SO DARK!! which is a pattern i am noticing after 3 episodes of this season!!! but mulder is hiding!!! and then he sneaks out and beats tf out of the german guy!!!

IT’S SPENDER?????

what. 

is he tripping…..?

you know, logistics of if this is actually happening in canon or merely mulder's head aside, more fight scenes should take place to andrews sisters songs

so mulder steals spender’s german uniform and puts it on, but he cannot respond to the people yelling at him in german!!!! does he have the advantage from studying this particular ship for years?? LMAO yeah, he hid around the corner! don't let anyone tell you that studying the layouts of boats that disappeared decades ago is useless knowledge!

woaaaah, there’s a fancy dance going on somewhere else!!! mulder enters the dance floor in his uniform!!!! and tries to flirt with the singer...

HE FINDS SCULLY!!!! BUT SHE THINKS HE’S A NAZI!!!!!! she has no idea who tf he is even though he is trying to explain. oh my GOD, she says she’s gonna punch him!!!!

oh. i’m blushing… scully in a dress with her hair like that….

the nazis burst in with guns and SHE HAD TO TRANSLATE FOR HIM…… because she knows a little german….

who is this man that she is dancing with?

“yeah, you’re all big men now, but wait until you get to russia! hope you fellas like the cold!” he yells out as they drag him away, and yet again i ask: LMAOOOO, WHAT IS GOING ON?

they’re dragging him to the deck! and the captain is saying he refuses to give up the ship!!! and the germans shoot him!!!

OH SHIT!!! IT’S CSM THAT TOLD HIM TO PULL THE TRIGGER??

i don’t know enough about german to know if he’s delivering those lines authentically, but it sounds convincing to me

someone finds his ID… SKINNER???? WHAT IS GOING ONNNN??

so they probably do not want to kill him if he is a proven american, which hopefully means he can get through the rest of the day until mercury comes out of retrograde or whatever 

oooo, present day!!! scully at a desk!! seems weird. i guess you have to be careful what you wish for.

BUT NOT AS WEIRD AS THE LONE GUNMEN ARRIVING AT HER PLACE OF WORK??? they say that mulder is in big trouble!!!

“the walls have ears” “i have ears, will you tell me what’s going on?” <- lmao, she’s such a smartass 

they try and explain what is going on, and she knows the queen anne right away!!! and is handling this news that it showed up this morning pretty well, all things considered.

“that’s impossible” “satellite doesn’t lie” “there’s nothing ON HERE!” <- BAHAHA, maybe i spoke too soon about her handling this news well

so the lone gunmen told him they found the queen anne, he chartered a boat, and has since gone missing!!!

love that they probably had been watching satellite on the bermuda triangle for years now to have noticed a sudden appearance. and love that mulder seemed to have a plan for what to do when that day finally arrived. truly, the lone gunmen and him match each other's freak.

they tell scully she needs to get information from the pentagon, and she heads off to go get it!!!

oh boy, kersh is gonna have a field day with this.

they’re filming this as one big walking shot, which is a cool effect 

BAHAHA, SHE WALTZES RIGHT INTO SKINNER’S OFFICE!! SHE IS NOT WAITING, and he is fully on the phone, but she does not give a FUCK, and that is my QUEEN!!!!

omg is she going to get in trouble for coming to see him… i’m nervous!!!

skinner hangs up and starts listening RIGHT AWAY!! oh yes!!!! 

OHHHH…. he doesn’t want to talk to her or hear whatever she has to say!!! 

his assistant sadly says “she walked right past me” LMAOOOO

OH SHIT, THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!! “you’re out of line, agent scully” “no, sir, you’re out of line” <- YEAH, SHE IS GONNA CALL HIM SIR WHILE YELLING AT HIM!!! THAT IS MY GIRL!!

“i’m sorry, but i’m coming to you for help, and i’ve got nowhere else to go. i would hope that after everything that we have been through that you’d at least have the courtesy and the decency, and not to mention the respect, to listen to what i have to say” <- OHHHH YOU TELL HIM 🔥 THAT IS FIVE FEET OF RAGE!!

he starts whining about losing his job and his pension and she ROLLS HER FUCKING EYES LMAOOOO she has had ENOUGH!!!

can she call in a favor on her father’s memory to the navy people??

she goes to open the door but he SLAMS IT SHUT OMFG????? 

(this moment was CRAAAAZY)

“use your head, scully. it’ll save your ass” “save your own ass, sir. you’ll save your head along with it”

oh my GOD, she would say “save your own ass, SIR”, that is just so her. oh, she is in her detective era, and she is not going to play nice!!!!!

skinner… i want to know what you are thinking… maybe he thinks she can call in a favor in her father’s memory like i thought…

(more post-episode thoughts: i also think that it is really interesting that she trusts the lone gunmen enough that she hears what they have to say and then IMMEDIATELY goes straight to skinner because she knows they wouldn't lie to her. even if their story sounds ridiculous, there has to be some element of truth to it, because it's Them, and they have helped the agents for so long, and they wouldn't joke about mulder being in trouble. and it's also very interesting how she drops absolutely everything and barely formulates a plan as to what to do next, because scully is usually the queen of plans and knowing what to do, and so rarely do we get to see her being impulsive... i just think it's neat)

they’re still filming this as one continuous action shot, which is so cool, and also was probably a major pain to accomplish. 

OHHH, she’s nervous!! scully is smacking the paper with the info she needs to know around in the elevator, and she hits someone who says “ouch!” and she mumbles “sorry” OHHHH, SCULLY…. my heart... she needs to save the day and she has no time for this, but she still feels bad for smacking that lady!!! ohhh my god, i just wanna put her in a nice blanket and give her a movie to watch. stop stressing her out.

she shoves through this other secretary to get to KERSH!! she must be really desperate to come to him!!! is this a trap??

FUCK!!! CSM WAS IN THERE!!!! AND HE HEARD HER SAY THAT SHE NEEDED INFORMATION OF MAXIMUM IMPORTANCE!!

nooo, she’s regretting coming in unannounced 💔💔💔 poor queen is nervously playing with her hair and then pacing the halls….. and she left the information she needed with kersh!!! so now he knows what it is she wants!!! this cannot be good!!!

she’s mumbling “what am i thinking? what am i thinking?” and calling someone on her cell!!!

but of course mulder does not pick up due to being on a different realm!!

(funny that she was in such a panic mode that she literally did not think to call him until this very moment LMAOOOO)

HOLY FUCK!!!! MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR??? SHE GOES TO SPENDER?? “i want you to do me a favor. it’s not negotiable. either you do it, or i kill you. you understand?” <- HOLY HELL???

oh, i’m blushing and giggling and also aware that this will probably have negative career consequences for her since she just threatened CSM's most special baby boy, but i cannot pick my jaw off of the floor…..

“you okay, agent scully?” “no, i’m not. i’m a gun ready to go off, so don’t test me, spender, don’t even THINK about trying to weasel me”

ohhhh my GOD. she says she will “hunt him down” if he doesn’t come back right away with what she needs, and she doesn’t care what or who he has to do to get the answer. and then realizing how insane this sounds, she mumbles “oh god” to herself quietly.

well, the good news is, this is so uncharacteristic for her that if it’s her word against spender’s, they might be pretty evenly matched. i mean, maybe he has the promotion, but she has the longer record of service, and while she may have been demoted to domestic terrorism, she is known as the scientist and rationalist, soooo…

(i cannot quite figure out what relationship spender has to her. he sounded legitimately concerned and did not question her at all. is his personal fury more directed at mulder? i mean, there was that horrible moment where he implied that mulder was using her that was all thick and weird and tense, and he probably still has residual anger from her talking to his mother, but he doesn't seem as mad at her as he is at mulder, because if mulder came in there and did that he would have simply pulled out his gun)

very sad to see that the basement office is now filled with spender's things. i noticed he has some medal on the wall. but cannot tell what it comes from. it's far too organized!

spender leaves, and the basement office phone rings!!! and she picks it up!!! IT’S CSM??? he thinks she is diana so she LOWERS HER VOICE A LITTLE TO PRETEND TO BE HER… and he wants to know about the paper scully handed kersh!!!

LMAOOOO, HE GETS SUSPICIOUS AND SHE HANGS UP 

NOOO, SPENDER SNITCHED TO KERSH??? she calls him a rat bastard and SPRINTS OUT, LMAOOOO

i am at once amused and stressed tf out

she gets in the elevator and yells “STUPID” which i deeply relate to. some people are not great at being impulsive. her cell phone rings and she picks it up and it’s... maybe mulder???? but he is very garbled!!!

NOOOO, SHE WALKS ONTO THE FLOOR WHERE CSM AND KERSH ARE 💔💔 she goes right back into the elevator as they point at her LMAO

she is still yelling into her phone and she runs into SKINNER!!!!! it was actually HIM that was on the phone, not mulder!!

and he has the info she needs and she KISSES HIM???? ON THE LIPS??? what the hell, oh my god. 

i’m literally gasping for air, oh my god. what the hell am i watching? GOD. imagine being skinner right now. wait hold, on i’m genuinely fucking crying. tears of laughter, mind you. he must have been SO thrown off. imagine your best and most loyal agent who nearly died a horrible death is back from the grave, but now you can’t talk to her because she's trying to expose the evil government, but you did talk to her anyway to save her bestie’s ass, and she smooches you. and you’re trapped in the elevator and you might lose your job.

god. i’m fucking losing it. the way her eyes were open as she kissed him.

BUT SKINNER IS AN IMPROV LEGEND!! because he gets off on the floor where CSM and spender were, and he LOUDLY yells at her that if she EVER asks him to break protocol he will have her OUT OF THE FBI RIGHT AWAY!!!

SKINNER!! MY KING!!!!!!!!!!!

god. i still need to do that best skinner moments from s5 post.

AND SHE’S GETTING PICKED UP BY THE LONE GUNMEN IN THEIR WAGON, LMAOOOO

spender is sprinting behind them, but alas! he cannot outrun a wagon.

mulder, meanwhile, is explaining world war two to the guys who are currently in it, and hating on the spice girls. rude. spice up your life. 

OHHH, someone who will build the atom bomb is on the boat… and mulder puts that together and explains it to someone who turns out to be a german spy!! wait, was scully dancing with EINSTEIN?? or oppenheimer or someone? clearly i was too invested with her hair and dress and how she was threatening to punch mulder to pay too much attention

(there was no oppenheimer nor einstein and i feel vindicated)

there’s a big fight as mulder declares they ought to turn the ship around and go back the way they came so they can return to the present and avoid germany winning the war!!!!!

it’s so dark, it’s hard to tell what is going on as they run about the ship. ohhhh they bring mulder back to the dance hall…. CSM wants him to identify who can make the bomb….. and if he doesn’t answer the question, they will kill passengers!!! NOOOO, they did kill someone!!!!!

OH SHIT, SCULLY STEPS FORWARD, SAYING THAT SPENDER IS KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE OVER NOTHING BECAUSE MULDER DOESN’T KNOW…. but he has HER at gunpoint now!!!

NOOOOO, THE GUY THEY KILLED WAS THE SCIENTIST…. where does this leave them… does past scully have to invent the atom bomb…?

meanwhile, the lone gunmen and scully are off in the bermuda triangle, and the queen anne is right there!!!! so can they get on there and save the day?? what is the proper course of action here?!

back inside the ship in the year of our lord 1939, mulder is yelling nursery rhymes at the nazis, and scully claims to be the scientist who can end the war. but some other guy says that HE is the scientist and she was sent here to protect him, so they take THAT guy away.

1939 scully curses at CSM in german, and then they are going to EXECUTE THEM??? but the engine shuts down!!! it’s brawl time!!!

modern scully and the lone gunmen are breaking into the ship trying to find mulder!! while a jazzy soundtrack plays!! and mulder and past scully are trying to save the ship!!

he’s leading past scully… but they get caught…. BY GERMAN SKINNER?? WHO SAYS “god bless america, get your asses out of here” <- YAAAAAS DAT IST MEIN UNCLE!!!!

past scully and present scully nearly collide!! while the ballroom brawl continues in the past!! 

past mulder has to convince past scully to get them to turn the ship around or else he’ll never be born!!!

i love that he explains it to her through the lens of einstein because he knows that she would have that as a frame of reference. because there is no scully, past or present or future, who wouldn't know about einstein. that's a very cute nod to her thesis.

AND THEN. LONG MAKEOUT SESSION. IN CASE WE NEVER MEET AGAIN????

my JAW. is once AGAIN. on the FLOOR.

(the darkness of this season is pissing me off. i wanted to see that in HIGH QUALITY!)

she PUNCHES HIM, he remarks that he was expecting a left jab, and then he JUMPS OFF THE SIDE OF THE BOAT??

past scully tosses a life preserver over!!!! and we’re back to the present!!!!

ohhh, mulder has flowers by his hospital bed, and the lone gunmen and skinner are all there… they must have fished him out!!

he’s trying to explain to her how she saved the world!!! and she just sarcastically agrees.

and the queen anne was just a ghost ship!!!!

(turns out a ghost ship means a ship with nobody on it, not a phantom of a boat. this is important to know because at first i was like "wtf, scully believes in ghosts now, but only for boats?")

skinner tells mulder that he better get well soon because is going to kick his ass (deserved) and then he and the gunmen leave. but scully stays behind.

“i would’ve never seen you again. but you believed me” (she leans in) “in your dreams” 

ohhh... it is sickeningly sweet as she tells him to go to sleep.

“hey, scully?” (he sits up) “yes?” (loooong silence) “i love you” “…oh, brother”

(as she leaves, he cradles the eye where past scully punched him in the face, smiling)

oh my god. i mean, it’s not like we really needed confirmation that he had feelings for her, but. like. that was it. he said the words. and then held his face where she punched him and remembered kissing her.

so, did the time warp really happen? who is to say? it’s fun to turn around both possibilities in your mind. the possibility that past scully really did believe him and was able to save the world AND the possibility that it would only happen in his dreams. 

there is so much to analyze here.

spender being a nazi… and skinner being a nazi… and CSM being a nazi… some of these make more sense than others. what are the implications... spender could speak both languages... is that an indication he is a double agent?

her saying “oh brother” to his love confession… oh my god, she must have thought he was sky high… i wonder how she felt hearing him say that? i wonder if she thought it was a joke, or if he really meant it, or it was the insane ramblings of someone very ill. i wonder if part of her felt crushed to hear those words, like that fragile thing that they have between them was being tampered with. or i wonder if she had always wanted to hear him say that and never let herself imagine it. either way, better to approach it from the angle of a sick man's mumbling. probably the only way to make sense of it. but i know she went home Wondering.

and what are they going to do about scully’s erratic behavior???? she normally conducts herself with such rationality! and today she barged in on two assistant directors, threatened to kill spender, and then ran off with the gunmen in a wagon! oh my god!!! i guess we won’t know!!! it looks like the next episode is a two parter, so i doubt that we will have time to examine the consequences from today.

but then again, rationality isn't ALWAYS her thing. gestures to all of the times she has nearly killed someone for getting between her and mulder before.

if you do consider the time warp to have actually happened, it’s very interesting that it shows scully has the capacity for belief. this whole episode was analyzing how scully responds to crisis- but that particular crisis being losing him for real. there have been close calls before, but this was unexpected and bizarre. usually she is very calm in crisis. but there are certain things in life you simply cannot prepare for. there’s FBI training on hostage situations and disease protocol, but nothing for “your partner travels back in time”

skinner…. my best friend…. he put it all on the line for them AND made an incredibly convincing performance in front of spender and CSM… the oscar goes to him

oh scully, i just. oh my god, man. i love her!!! her being impulsive because she had no choice!!! telling spender she would kill him!!! and then going in the hallway and mumbling “stupid, stupid”!!! apologizing for smacking that lady!!! kissing her boss on the mouth with her eyeballs open because she was so overcome with emotion!! that is MY disaster medical doctor special agent scully!!

and mulder thinking he was going to to die slash never be born at all so he KISSED her while he could…. and then back in the real world using his delirium as an excuse to say “i love you”, to hear how those words sound coming from his mouth… just to know what it felt like...

oh my god. i need to snuggle into a big cuddly blanket and scream a little.

so, now let us analyze mulder's recent behavior, stretching from the tail end of s5 to now. and you have to promise that you won't tell me if any particular theories i put forward are right or wrong! you can only comment on if you think my proposed theories are interesting. because i assume that YOU know why mulder is being weird (snapping at scully, agreeing to go undercover, fucking off to investigate a ship, and then confessing love despite his actions and words indicating disdain, etc) but i just do not.

i can put together from the comments left on my last posts and vague subtext in the show itself that there is SOMETHING afoot with mulder, which is why he is acting like a dick. but i cannot figure out WHAT it is. my guess is that maybe he is in some sort of danger so he’s trying to push scully away?? in an attempt to save her?? like when he went undercover, but maybe something even bigger and scarier??? but maybe he could use his vulnerability to confess how he really felt while he had the chance?? and then he will go back to being all moody?? because he thinks that he is in danger and doesn't have much time left? and maybe he thinks that if he acts all rude and terrible scully will be able to handle his demise?

the only other thing i can guess (and again: don’t tell me if i’m right or wrong!! i just want to voice my thoughts) is that maybe something is happening with his mom?? but if his mom was sick or dying or something, it still doesn’t make sense for him to take it out on scully. but then again, people take their rage out on each other in real life all the time, even if it doesn't make any sense.

maybe it’s something with his sister? i mean we saw his “sister” that CSM brought to him a while ago, but it was never addressed again… i mean, i don’t believe it was really her anyway, but maybe he thinks that diana can help him find her?? because she came back into town for some unfinished business or for family or something- what was it she said in the car with gibson? so maybe they’re plotting something together?? and he thinks (stupidly) that diana can help him with some secret thing he cannot tell scully about???

man. i don’t know. and i will have to just keep moving forward to find out. which means i will probably have to endure more bitchy mulder before i get answers. and then once i DO get answers, i will have to see if i judge them to be valid or not. 

but let us not look too far into the future. let us look to what we have been given, which is 1939 AU scully in a beautiful red backless dress, and noir detective canon scully, and sleepy, loopy, delirious lover boy mulder, and skinner who is the best boss around, and three guys in a wagon who will save their buddy from a time-traveling ship. and that is so beautiful. amen.

i realize i wrote all of that and never outright stated my feelings on the episode. while you probably picked up on it, but i did enjoy it! i was laughing and gasping and blushing and giggling. it was nice to have a change in pace. i thought the way it was shot was really interesting as well, with all of the perpetual motion. it had many of the things i consider integral to a good episode, which include, but are not limited to: skinner acting prickly and detached but then pulling through and saving the day, scully threatening to kill people and commanding a scene, mulder nerding tf out and reciting facts, fun costumes, MSR bait, and things you can turn around in your head over and over to make your own interpretations on! i'm not sure if it would make my top 15 episodes list just because it was SO zany and i'm having trouble wrapping my head around that, but definitely a contender.

i have a feeling my thoughts on this episode will grow and change with time, which is perfectly acceptable. i'll try to crack the symbolism of mulder's time warp visions in more detail moving forward, and i will probably find scully's panic somewhat out of character, if endearing. but you only get to watch something for the first time once. and so we share this moment together, you and i.

[annimator]

OH MY GOD

OH MY GODDDDDD

(THIS IS THE BEST DC4 EPISODE, ARGUE WITH THE WALL. THIS POST ISN’T REALLY MY SUMMARIZED REACTION, AS MUCH AS IT IS ME RAMBLING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE ANARISSA, ZAIVY, & ESPECIALLY TRISTANNAH)

• I WAS SO HAPPY OVER ALL THE ANARISSA & ZAIVY CONTENT WE GOT

• LIKE WDYM THEY BOTH KISSED AROUND THE END OF BOTH OF THEIR MUSICAL NUMBERS (I don’t care’s my favourite song btw), WDYM THEY BOTH HAD ROMANTIC MOMENTS AFTERWARDS, WDYM BLUE MOON (Zaid & Ivy’s musical number. also Spencer was there) MAINLY CENTERS AROUND ZAID BEING IVY’S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR, WDYM ZAIVY’S KISS WAS PLANNED, WHILE ANARISSA’S WASN’T, WDYM MARISSA DIDN’T EXPECT ANA TO KISS HER BUT WASN’T COMPLAINING, SOMEBODY FUCKING SEDATE ME

• Also honourable mentions to Logan & Richard’s bond (I’m boutta SOB once one of them ends up getting eliminated, & so is most of the fandom now that I think about it), Trevor & Emily slowly rekindling their friendship & Spencer doing the family guy death pose lmao

• btw, THANK GOD THERE WAS NO ELIMINATION. I already had so much emotions thrown my way this episode, and literally every single elimination thus far got me feeling emotional

• Bro wait I need to elaborate more on those aftermath moments

• To everyone bitching about Ivy’s crash out, please shut the fuck up. Imagine creating something you envisioned as spectacular & perfect, only for people & critics to think it ISN’T.

• Then again, she’s kiiiinda being overdramatic with how she thinks she’ll be blacklisted for that performance. GIRL THAT WAS STILL PEAK

• ZAID’S HOLDING HER FUCKING HANDDDDD

• “I guess I just… wanna make people smile.” “Well, you’ve made me smile everyday here!” ZAID YOU SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER THAT WAS SO WHOLESOME

• “You’re hilarious. You’re kind…” “Go on.” FAWKKKKKKK

• “And… you really are a star.” “Thanks, Zaid” THEY FUCKING PRESSED THEIR HEADS TOGETHER AFTERWARDS OH MY GODDDDDD

• MARISSA KEEPS CALLING HER ANA OH MY GODDDD

• “I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll let you know beforehand.” “Oh? There’s going to be a next time?” “Oh, shush.” THE WAY THEY LAUGHED THAT OFF? AISFAIPFHWEPBGPWGPIWG

• alright, alright, with that out of the way… MY THREE FAVES CARRIED THIS EPISODE HARD OH MY GOD

• BENJI STRAIGHT UP YOINKED THE TITLE OF MY 2ND FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM ISABEL FROM THIS EPISODE ALONE.

• HE WAS HAPPY TO GEEK OUT WITH JADE ABOUT HIS FAVOURITE SUPERHEROES I LOVE HIM

• “Thanks for the confidence boost. People don’t usually appreciate my… goofiness.” LOOK ME IN THE EYE, AND TELL ME THIS BOI ISN’T AUTISTIC OR AT THE VERY LEAST AN AUTISTIC ALLEGORY

• ALRIGHT BEST BOY OUT OF THE WAY, Y’ALL KNOW WHO I REALLLLY WANNA TALK ABOUT IF YOU’VE SEEN MY DC4 POSTS

• WHERE DO I START WITH TRISTAN & HANNAH THIS EPISODE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

• THAT SCENE? AROUND THE START???? IT WAS LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THAT SCENE WHEN THE TRAILER DROPPED

• THE WAY TRISTAN FELT BAD FOR VOTING DIEGO BECAUSE OF HIM BEING HEARTBROKEN FOR SPENCER, AND THEM APOLOGIZING TO HANNAH OVER NOT VOTING SPENCERAIFBPIAGQE

• “And you losing… both of your friends so fast? I mean, if I lost Ivy & Zaid like that, I—… Doesn’t. I’d just do what I always do, you know? Um, keep smiling.” “You don’t have to, you know?” “Yeah, I-I know. It’s just… it’s made all the dark shit in my life so much easier to handle.” “Sometimes shit happens, Tristan. It’s ok to let yourself sit in it.” “Sit in… shit?” “…Sounded better in my head.” YEAH. THEIR CONVO WAS THAT GOOD THAT I HAD TO COPY PASTE MOST OF IT

• AND THE SCENE ENDED WITH THEM CHUCKLING AS THEY SAT LOOKING OUT INTO THE WATER TOGETHER FUCK OFFF (/pos)

• OK BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT IDC BEING MY FAVOURITE SONG FROM THIS EPISODE. BECAUSE IT IS

• IT’S LITERALLY AN EMPOWERING SONG SANG BY FOUR PEOPLE WHO WERE DEFINIETLY RIDICULED APPEARANCE &/OR PERSONALITY WISE ABOUT HOW THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT OTHER THINK OF THEM AND IT’S FUCKING PEAK DUDE.

• LITERALLY BEST FOUR PERSON DYNAMIC ON THE SHOW BESIDES NAT, ISA, ANA, & MARISSA. I LOVE JADE, TRISTAN, HANNAH, & BENJI AS A GROUP BRO

• Remember that Benji quote I mentioned earlier? He said that to Tristan, and after he talked about people not appreciating his goofiness, Tristan replied with AND I QUOTE; “I think they’re missing out on a lot of fun then.” AND THEN BENJI HUGGED THEM

• THEY’RE SO RIGHT. I LOVE THEM SM

• also I ship tristan x hannah x benji now. idk their shipname, but their dynamic’s really great after this episode, and I hope that they miraculously become canon. Tristannah’s still my favourite ship overall, and if the three of them don’t become a poly couple, I’ll settle with them becoming a thing

• Tristan noticing Zaid & Ivy having a moment & walking away made me sad. Poor enby :(

• I LEGITIMATELY WASN’T EXPECTING ANOTHER TRISTANNAH MOMENT THIS EPISODE, AND IT STARTED WITH HANNAH CALLING THEM “TRIS”

• THEY LAUGHED OVER SMTH TOGETHER AAAONAIFEAUOB

• “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel a little left out.” “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you. stand out way too much for that.” “Thanks, barkeep, but still, I… I’ve been feeling like the third wheel, and… I’m not exactly the ‘white picket fence, two-and-a-half kids, golden retriver’ type of person here.” “Cause you’re something even cooler.” “Maybe I… should take your advice and, um… What was it you said? ‘Sit in shit’?” LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CONVOS FROM THIS EPISODE. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON TRISTAN ALSO GIVING HANNAH A NICKNAME & HER SMILING WHEN IT PANNED BACK TO HER

• I already mentioned this in prior posts; like in my post about all the audition tapes & in the trailer reaction post, but Tristan & Hannah mean a lot to me. I see myself a lot in the both of them; they both have upbeat personalities, & I share Tristan’s beliefs on choosing to keep smiling as the world turns regardless so much, Hannah’s a Filipino-Canadian & Bi, Tristan’s Non-Binary & is implied to be Pansexual, and for a show that I genuinely love with all my heart to have TWO characters that I feel very seen with being given the spotlight makes me so happy

• I’ve also recently gotten the feeling that I might be on the autism and/or adhd spectrum, so Benji being an implied autistic character is really great. Plus he’s a dork/geek just like me so y’know :D

• SO YEAH, PEAK EPISODE, PEAK CHARACTER MOMENTS, PEAK MUSIC, IT WAS ALL FUCKING PEAK

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I'm mostly just gonna copy paste my real time conversation with @hotasfahrenheit here, with a free added bits of thoughts:

My Stand In episode 2 thoughts

I wish they translated the title song, because it's tonally confusing

I love when the makeup team adds hickeys

I definitely watched some of this second episode, but I do but remember how far I got, so I'm just rewatching all the crazy

I really need this orgasm-sneeze to be the thing that tips Ming off

I need it

Joe, baby, you've known this man for five seconds, please do not tell him where your spare key is

Ming stop being so fucking awkward challenge

Ugh, Tong is such a dick

Why does anyone hire him? He's always late, he complains about having to do his job and threatens to need weeks off if he has to do one (1) thing....

Ming: "I'm feeling jealous, so I'm gonna be petty about it and hurt Joe's feelings"

Joe: "yeah, I should've expected this"

Ming: are you bisexual (accusatory) or banging the makeup guy?

Joe: I have friends???

(Mia: Listen Ming doesn't have friends so he doesn't understand what those are

Me: oh, that's very clear. Gee, I wonder why that is 🤣)

I love that Ming dresses exclusively in $500 shirts 🤣

Wait, is this girl supposed to be set up with Ming 🤣 He's such a bitch 😆 I love him (forgot to tell with Mia about his slutty little rich asshole silk robe, but bless him and the slutty little rich asshole robe)

(Mia: Ming doesn't know how to function as a person but he does know how to look like a rich bitch)

Joe translating his anger at Ming by being hard on his trainees... Oh baby, no

He's really just "I'm asking for a friend"ed 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, I love this girl actually

Joe with the sex puns, lmao

Ming smiling and then immediately suppressing it is so sad actually

Get therapy, my dude

THE SHEETS ARE WET I AM SCREAMING

THE SNEEZES OH MY GODDD

Also, the work bathroom hook up cut with the training session was *chefs kiss* (the way this built tension and also narrative, and like, showed Joe's inner thoughts? Incredible.)

(Mia: Pepzi, our queen) FOR REALZ

He knows Joe's coffee prep

This is so domestic? (This makes me feel crazy, actually. And Joe's genuine awe at being seen in this small way breaks my fucking hearrrt)

Joe. Baby. Again, it has been five minutes and three orgasms, you cannot invite him to move in

He's being so nice to the stunt men today 😂

Ming:

The way he said Joe's name while staring at Sol like "okay bitch, watch this" killed me

He knew Joe would go to him and he wanted Sol to know real bad

Sol is ready to Fite

Listen, I knew he made him sleep on the floor OF HIS OWN HOUSE, bit it's still deeply funny to me

And then, he's just staring at him while he sleeps waiting for him to wake up so he can give him the bitchiest look known to man

Ming: *is jealous AF*

Joe: you jealous bro?

Ming: No, who would even like you?

Joe: *is the world's saddest puppy*

"sit ups break my back, live breaks my heart". Baby, no.

Lovesick Joe= drill Sergeant

Post orgasm Joe = kindergarten teacher

Sad Joe = bad poet who can't do a sit up

(Mia and I had a conversation about how sometimes, very drunk people want to be on the floor in a blanket, and she is very correct)

Wait.

...

Did Ming go home and make himself the same ramen Joe made for him? (Because he was jealous and bitchy and ran away after making the boy he likes Dad on purpose)

THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE, ACTUALLY?!

Okay, considering Ming is in love with his sister's boyfriend, they actually have a really sweet sibling dynamic, and she is actually The Best.

Why can't we go to a movie and eat fondue? Why did Thailand get movies so much better than we do? Let me watch a movie in a bed or eat fondue while I watch my favorite blorbos.

But also, he clearly just needs like, so much therapy

Like, his thought process is "I love him, no one else can have him, I'm gonna kidnap him". Which is .. Not Normal People Thoughts

"even if I could be happy, I shouldn't be"

THERAPY. THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

Sol: " I will flirt by kicking his ass and hoping he kicks mine back"

Oh shit, Joe really just fucking knocked him out 🤣

Ming having a crisis hearing Joe talk about what love is, and then that little smile when Joe said he wanted then to be a couple... (Joe's like, pathological inability to let himself experience emotions is... Several Problems)

This man is insane

Listen, if I'm supposed to hate Ming, they shouldn't have had Up play him

NOW HE'S AT JOE'S HOUSE PLAYING HOUSE HUSBAND. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?)

Rip curry

It's the ramen of suppressed feelings again

JOE STOP MAKING ME CRY CHALLENGE

Look, is Ming:

LADY AND THE TRAMP AND THE GRIP YOU HAVE ON THE THAI BL INDUSTRY

They're so cute that it's actually a crime that I know Ming is a whole red flag parade

The way Joe did the cutest little "please, tell me, please please please, I wanna hear you say the things we both know (you jealous baby)" and Ming was like "yeah okay, I will hum a quiet affirmative and we will never speak of it again" was so fucking cute. I am prepared to cry and scream and have my feelings hurt, but gosh do they do this well.

Okay, I have like, real actual thoughts about this, but also I do not. I am obsessed and too deep in it right now to words, but AAAHHHHHHH

[sam-loves-seb]

weekly tag wednesday

thanks to my lovelies for the tags <3 @spookygingerr @transsexual-dandelions @deedala @heymacy @gallawitchxx

name: sam

age: 26

location: home of the 2024 nba champions

and now...

what is your DJ name? dj sammy spins

if you were a genre of music, what would it be? indie rock

what would you title your biography? what the hell is going on (seriously can somebody tell me)

what are the first three things you'd do if you were invisible? steal some shit, probably commit some other non-violent crimes, then maybe try and uncover some state secrets

what subject do you wish was taught in every school? literally copy and pasting bee and so many others but: financial literacy !! i still feel like i know nothing !! also on a less serious note: world geography, because it has taken me a shockingly long time to figure out where some things in the world actually rae

when was the last time you tried something for the first time and what was it? a few weeks ago i tried a new beverage of the alcoholic variety called Sun Cruisers and they were quite good

what is the most underrated city you have ever visited? davos, switzerland (probably not that underrated to some but i had never even heard of it before i went and now i think about it constantly)

what day in your life would you like to relive? the last day of school before spring break during my senior year of college. it was a friday, i had no classes, i spent most of the day with my roommates hanging out and that night we got tipsy and watched mamma mia and jumped on the couch and scream-sang all the songs

little did we know that a week later the world would end.

i went to florida for 5 days for spring break and when i came back, the dorms were closed, classes were online, and everything was completely shut down starting monday because of covid. we had to move all our stuff out, and i never lived with those roommates again. we're all still friends, but i rarely see them because we live far apart.

this answer got away from me but yeah. that last day with my perfect roommates in our perfect apartment dorm. that's the day i'd relive if i had the chance.

if you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why? showering. it's so tedious. i know it needs to be done but god it's so much effort. why can't i be instantly clean?

how long would you last in a zombie apocalypse? honestly i think i would last pretty long in a zombie apocalypse if i tried, but the more important question is would i want to last in a zombie apocalypse? probably not. is there an end in sight? a cure? is this just the world now? i think my survival skills are high but my will to live is low in this scenario

what would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? if scientists figured out teleportation i think that would be the most shocking thing to me

if you could have any view out your office window, what would you choose? a city view. i want an office in a high rise that overlooks boston. that would be cool.

tagging anyone who hasn't played yet cuz it's almost technically thursday by now <3

[wrongcaitlyn]

wait, im confused, what's the voicenote at the end of chemtrails???

if you listen to the song 'chemtrails' by lizzy mcalpine, there's a short recording at the end of lizzy's father talking about her from an old video! the song is about her father's death, and the voice note is just such a beautiful part of the song. i sort of changed the meaning of the song though to match nico, and changed the voice recording (in my head ofc) of lizzy's father to will.

at the beginning of chapter 8, titled chemtrails, he and will work on the song and add the excerpt - i'll just copy and paste that right here so you can see what my version of the voice note is :)

So he concludes that that’s what chemtrails is about, in his head. Grief, and how he can’t ever seem to escape it, even with the events done and over with. Even with therapy, and growing up, and making friends, the emptiness is still a pit in his stomach that returns every other day. 

But there are things that make it better. That relieve him of the regret and the longing for a few minutes, and that remind him of what he has right now—what he hasn’t lost.

He pulls open his phone app, and a few seconds later, there comes Will’s, “What’re you doing?” that Nico refrains from chuckling at.

He opens up one of the voicemails—dated August 30th, a call that had come in the early hours of the morning when Will was heading off to his first class. It was a general update on life, on who his friends were and what he ate for dinner the night before. “So, yeah. I think I’ll be alright,” he says, his tone comforting even with the sound of wind making it through his phone. He ends the call with a brief, “Love you, bye,” as he always does. 

Nico screen records it and emails it to himself, opening up the tab on his computer.

He doesn’t talk as he inserts the clip and edits it into the song, biting the inside of his cheek as he tries to get the volume just right so it doesn’t overshadow the song, and lowering the sound of the wind a bit so it doesn’t get in the way of Will’s words.

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but the time says 6:32 AM, and he clicks play on the newly finished song. It’s only when he hears Will’s voice back at him, over the repeated lyrics, I miss it, I miss you, that he turns around abruptly, realizing he hadn’t even considered Will when using his voice in the song.

Nico doubts he’ll add it to the album, anyway, so some of the panic fades away, only to be replaced with gut wrenching dread as he watches a tear roll down Will’s face.

“Will?” he asks, moving closer to where Will is seated on his stool, but having pulled his knees up and holding them against his chest. “Will? Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“I like it,” Will repeats his earlier comment, but this time his voice cracks in the middle, and he quickly moves his hand to wipe away the tear. “I really like it, Nico.”

the full scene is in the fic, but that's just the part describing the voicenote :) highly recommend listening to the song, its incredible! and heartbreaking. i love it so much.

[deuterium51614]

Boueibu Rewatch Part 11

Onto more episodes that I always feel go in the second half of the season...

Episode Four

Judging by the title of this one, you'd think it would be a parody of "It's a Wonderful Life."

Funny that Nanao's drinking tea in the bath. Like the Love boys never did that, probably because they were bathing with a corpse.

My mom felt all the talk of buried treasure was a reference to Oak Island?

The mysterious staircase being discovered gives me Gekkan Mousou vibes. (Along with Kingo's dad being obsessed with UMA and whatnot lol)

Why do I always feel like Kingo's gonna beat up the three students talking about buried treasure?

I love it when there's things like the way Ichiro's hand shakes in the clubroom lol

The director of the show gives big Hireashi vibes. (And what's with his pose lol) Like if Hireashi had a human form, I think he'd look something like that.

Do you think Kyoutarou's so motivated to dig for treasure because he's looking for his grade's time capsule? Like that was his goal from the beginning?

Taiju's family owning a construction company is like. The only backstory we get for him, huh? (Actually, is it even his family's company? He says "my company," so is he the CEO?)

Nanao is so devious with his letters lol

During the whole confrontation with the monster, the dad is stuck looking at his bare butt alsdkfja

Will the movie show the bath facility on Mt. Binan?

"Why not send a copy of the picture to Ata?" So after all this time...Kyoutarou just happens to have Ata's number? (And also, what do you think Ata saved Kyoutarou's profile pic as? Because there is something... Looks like orange and red vertical stripes, with some horizontal black with red stitching? And brown at the bottom?)

Episode Five

Martha randomly has bodyguards.

The little naruto in Honeo's hair when he's eating the ramen...

Love Furanui's awkwardness when saying how long they were all in the council room, watching Martha.

Wondering if Martha really had some sort of surgery to lose some of the weight, and that could be another layer of why they're pissed at Ichiro for the congratulations on the diet, not just for bringing up the past. Like Martha could be pissed they couldn't lose the weight from just dieting, so Ichiro's words are rubbing it in?

Martha's squack when eating the cookies by accident.

I like how they just left Karurusu outside the ramen shop. (And I missed the sign, but this is the same shop from Love, right?)

It's the Dirty Bubble!

"As long as you're healthy" Kyoutarou says, as if we didn't just see this guy's backstory being that any food causes him stomach upset.

I misread "Happy and Set" as "Happy and Sex" and got severe whiplash lol

Yeah, this episode definitely reads as Martha not being cis.

Episode Six

I love how Kyoutarou's really annoyed at the start lol

Funny how everyone has customized umbrellas in this episode, but in the OP they have clear vinyl umbrellas.

Kaimu is kinda like Ichiban 2.0 the way he talks to himself (also his hair color, and kind of the ahoge)

Kyoutarou's eyes opening before he says he's overheating...feels like there's something more to it...

"Be assertive... Not insertive!" (Kaimu saying he needs to be assertive versus Ichiro misunderstanding all the idioms.)

Karurusu out here doing the Totoro umbrella dance.

That song when the council came on is a bop! Also sounds like there are words to it?

Kyoutarou asking Ryouma to fill in for him...imagine if we got him doing the final attack, like EnAtsu and IoRyuu.

Also just realizing, but what are the "set" and "turn" referring to in the attack? Just thought now about it being like setting a clock and turning the hands, but it's probably something else...

[aprillikesthings]

oh god oh god

HEY GUESS WHAT I'm down to the last two episodes of She-Ra in my rewatch

On a related note, should you desire to read them all starting from s1ep1 for some godforsaken reason, here's the link. Please be amused at my claims that I would not do this for every episode and my repeated attempts to cut back on how much I copy/paste dialogue and/or explain the entire plot instead of just making jokes and commentary

If, somehow, you are New Here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, ostensibly for fic-writing reasons as I had forgotten huge quantities of the plot. I have since become deeply obsessed, as one does.

I make a lot of adult jokes, random asides, references to other things, commentary, and a lot of cursing and crying. I love Catradora and I love Catra especially and have a tendency to add a screenshot every time they so much as look at each other. It seems silly to warn for spoilers at this point, but yeah, this is a RE-watch. It's just that I forgot a lot of it because I watched it the first time as it was coming out (pun intended). The shit I did remember is so fucking random tho lol

The last time I tried to do a two-parter in one post the number of times I had to reblog it because tumblr only allows 30 images per post got real stupid, so while I do still assume I will have to reblog multiple times per episode, I'm doing each episode separately.

HERE WE GOOOOO

s5 ep12 Heart (pt 1)

jfc i'm full of adrenaline lol

Also I have a beer, it's a citrus IPA because I live in Portland and it's required by law

(not really I just genuinely like them. that and IPA's that taste like gnawing on a douglas fir. also fruit sours.)

LOL I was so anxious I looked away from this post and consumed most of my beer this is gonna be hilarious

ALSO my goal is to finish these two episodes before the Easter Vigil service tomorrow night at 8pm

Theoretically I should be able to watch two episodes of TV in a day and a half, right? AHAHA

Bow should play Wonderwall

she always looks so soft with her hair down

but also having that thing just floating in front of your chest like that has gotta feel weird

ON A RELATED NOTE I know I made the joke in the last episode about how many people have the failsafe as a tattoo but the PROBLEM is that now I literally LIVE with a tattoo artist whose work I like--I already have two tattoos they've done, here and here, and the temptation is extremely high?? but I don't have any other obvious fandom-related tattoos (unless you count the title of a Björk song) so it feels weird to start with this one???? Like I don't have any LoTR or BBC Sherlock or SU or K/DA tattoos (to list off a bunch of fandoms I was devastatingly obsessed with at the time) so getting one for THIS fandom feels kinda weird. But like, also, if I got it kinda small on one wrist it would look kinda cool and be a nice loud DID U KNOW I'M GAY kinda thing. Gyahhh.

She's struggling to do She-Ra, and I'm sitting here YELLING because IT'S BECAUSE CATRA LEFT and UGH I want to murder Shadow Weaver

(eyyyy I won't have to, ha ha oh god)

Oh she manages to transform anyway. Without making any noise or glowing lights, just pop, She-Ra

awwww but also lol

related aside but like, every culture that figured out bows and arrows invented at least one kind of string instrument. Literally archers just fidgeting with their bows and going "oh this makes a nice sound, what if I put more strings on this thing." So many different places and cultures invented things like a guitar or like a harp or like a violin. But also I want to know who the FUCK figured out the hurdy-gurdy??? oh my god I just looked up the hurdy-gurdy and I'm cracking up because one of the earliest depictions of it is from the 1100's, in the Santiago de Compostela cathedral. A place I have been. Because I did the Camino last year.

oh right plot

I would like to take a moment and be grateful for the people who put together the transcripts on the fandom wiki for saving me typing up long bits of lore-heavy dialogue

She-Ra: "Prime is getting closer every day to figuring out how to access the Heart of Etheria. If he succeeds, he can use it to destroy worlds, galaxies, maybe even the entire universe. The Failsafe is our only chance at stopping him."

"His hold over them grows stronger every day they're chipped. If we don't free them now, we might lose them forever. Prime holds every advantage in this fight. He'll be ready for us. But we have a plan. Entrapta?" Entrapta: "I finally succeeded in cracking Prime's signal pattern. If I get access to his Spire network, I can use it to broadcast a jamming frequency that will disable all of the chips on Etheria, freeing everyone at once!" She-Ra: I need you all to get Entrapta to the Spire and keep Prime's forces distracted while she jams the signal."

"We're going to make sure that Prime can never hurt anyone ever again. We're ending this today. For good."

oh lord so Shadow Weaver is still there, sulking and looking away, and she looks over at her and starts almost losing She-Ra and being Adora again

have I mentioned how much I hate Shadow Weaver >:(

Adora goes outside...and looks around. I know who she's looking for. *sobs into a pillow*

NO. she's LOOKING for her GIRLFRIEND

I made that joke and then Glimmer literally says "Any sign of Catra?" I have to remember that at this point in the story literally everyone knows how in love they both are. Except them. Of course.

Adora: "She's not coming back." ;_;

Adora: I mean you don't have to come with me this could be dangerous Bow: the fuck are you talking about of course we're going

And she turns into She-Ra again, roll intro

Okay so they go to the Crystal Castle thing where Light Hope was

it doesn't look so good

but also that's creepy

anyway they tell the hologram (not Light Hope, the other one) that they're looking for the Heart of Etheria and that they're Friends of Mara. She-Ra gets scanned and then a door opens into a passageway. Bow and Glimmer take her hands and they walk into the hall but:

she's still looking for someone

I have to deal with another episode and change of her looking for Catra ghghggh this hurts meeeee

OH SO OF COURSE they literally switch to showing us Catra

bahaha okay so she sits up and looks behind her kind of sadly, and Melog just skids to a stop so hard they throw Catra off

And Melog looks at Catra like she's fucking nuts. Catra's like, wtf is wrong with you??? and Melog looks back like BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Catra what did you think was going to happen when you got a therapy animal that can literally read your moods. Melog knows you're being a dumbass and has NO reason to pretend to believe your surface "I don't give a shit" act!!

Melog does airplane ears at that. And then just pounces Catra.

Time for pressure! Just like a real therapy animal. Big weighted blanket!

oh shit I forgot about this bit

Catra just immediately starts crying.

Catra: "You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay? Not me!"

*sobs into hands* you useless fucking dumbass that is your abysmally low self-esteem talking literally every living semi-sentient thing in the galaxy knows Adora's in love with you EXCEPT YOU

I can get frustrated with AU fics where these two both pull this "but what if she doesn't like me back" thing for ages while everyone around them is face-palming in frustration, but like. You have to admit. It's accurate to canon.

(It's also accurate to lesbians in general, lbh. Either fucking on the first date or doing the "but what if she's not into me" thing for months-to-years. Sometimes both, including in some of the fics I've written, heyooooo.)

Melog purrs and licks her face. A clone approaches and they both go invisible and then follow it.

MEANWHILE

the rest of the rebellion is attacking Horde Prime's ship thing

Wrong Hordak helps Entrapta get into the spire. The whole point of this fight (which I didn't bother screenshotting lol) is to give Entrapta time to disconnect everyone's chips from Horde Prime.

Lol once inside Entrapta does another one of those "holy shit this stuff looks so cool...OMG FOCUS" things

Back at the Crystal Castle Glimmers like "omg are you scared" and She-Ra says "No, I just hope this works." Liar.

Bow: "It'll be okay. And when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

this poor girl. she's so heartbroken.

(meanwhile the plot of my fic-in-progress is literally them breaking up. (not forever.) but it's hilarious of me to get SO UPSET over this scene when I'm going to force them to repeat it. like it's a mutual decision in my fic but it doesn't make it hurt any less.)

PFFT I unpaused it, and IMMEDIATELY:

I just said OH SHIT out loud lol

oh god I saw someone talking about this in a youtube video right around when I started my rewatch

It's a hologram, she's not actually there. And Catra goes through multiple other ages, including her kid self, being chipped on Horde Prime's ship, when they were Horde cadets, etc; before going back to looking like she does now.

Adora's sharp little gasp of shock here

Adora goes to touch Catra's hand and the hologram disappears

(good lord she's beautiful here)

And I think I agree with the youtube video: Adora knew she was upset about Catra running off, but this is the moment she specifically realizes she's in love, and it breaks her heart into tiny pieces.

(Hah, I actually say a very similar thing in part of my fic that they mention in the video--that previous to this, she refused to let herself want this or even think about it. "I didn't even realize this was something I could want.")

BUT ALSO so like is this a remnant of Light Hope's programming that tortured them with childhood flashbacks in season one (in order to drive them apart) or what

LOL NO

I know I made this joke before but I'm suing Nate for emotional damages

She-Ra: "We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories."

oof

A still-invisible Catra follows the clone to where Horde Prime's ship is and is visibly terrified and shaking. A clone who might be Hordak turns around with that white in his eyes that means Prime is using him to see, and Catra just tries to be quiet and not move but she's obviously triggered, and I mean that in the literal PTSD sense.

Horde Prime (via Hordak?): "My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way."

oh okay so Horde Prime's actual ship is still in space (just orbiting Etheria I assume) and the planet-side thing is him speaking through one of the clones via the hive mind.

"Begin the acquisition process!"

are they just gonna straight-up drill into it?

apparently yes

the whole area lights up with that sickening green light, including all the lines that characters kept noticing on the ground that looked like some combo of circuit boards and First Ones' writing.

meanwhile, Adora keeps slipping out of being She-Ra for split seconds and is clearly stressing The Fuck Out and possibly walking in the wrong direction in her distress, only to walk into another memory/hologram.

And I've predictably hit the image limit, but 13:30 to go which is better than last night pfft okay gonna reblog

[sorryimananti-romantic]

wanna play a quick game of finish the lyrics + guess the song: ateez edition? ... no? too bad 👹

(NOTE: bsides are not included, since this is an easy version.)

Let's go !! cheat n i'll track you down 😋😋

1. 네 흔적은 향기로 남아

미친 사람처럼 너를 찾아 헤매다

잠이 깨면

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2. 거친 바람에, 다친 마음에

세상은 내게 추락만을 택하라는 듯

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

3. 하고 싶은 게 뭐냐고

너는 커서 뭐가 될 거냐고

모르겠네요 처음이라

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

4. 우리가 보이는가? 타오르는 눈빛과

삼킬 듯한 함성이 온 세상을 울리는 걸

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

5. 저기 저 달빛이 부를 때

세상을 덮칠 듯 달구네

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

6. 감정의 눈을 가린 채 산다는 게

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i prepared this based off your fav ateez titles and added one of my personal faves, so you better get this right 😠

(NOTE (again): you can translate these lyrics if it helps, but no direct searches)

good luck !! <3

OH THIS WAS AN EASY VERSION. i went straight to reading the lyrics and almost flunked this altogether but as soon as i realised you chose my fav tracks (how did you know who are you i think i know) this became a lot easier LOL i totally did not sing all my fav title tracks to see if these lyrics came up-

(also only googled to copy paste the rest of the lyrics once i got the answer, no cheating done here :D)

1- 다시 또 제자리인걸 Where you at? Where you at? 너는 어디에? --- INCEPTION!!

2. 세상은 내게 추락만을 택하라는 듯 끝없는 어둠만 --- TURBULENCE my queen

3. 모르겠네요 처음이라 더 살아봐야 알 것 같은데 eh hahaha --- THANXX (i know who you are now also this would have been a lot easier if you added the ah ya ya i had to struggle)

4. 듣고 있다면 지금 내 곁으로 와줘 함께 할 수 있게 --- ANSWER LOML this was the quickest

5. 우리 손을 잡고 날아가 Yes sir 부름에 응답 --- SAY MY NAME MY NO. 1

6. 너에겐 아무 의미 없는가? --- GUERRILLA (BREAK THE WALL 👹)

-------------------

this was fun. i feel like bsides will be easier bc i listen to bsides more than titles but at the same time, there are many i don't really listen to so yeah. can't wait for the next part hehe

[mardytoast]

🍓🔪☁️

i thought you were referencing a song coming out from this band i know and i was like ?

but omg ask game!!

🍓how did you get into writing fanfiction🍓

omg this is serious loree. so ive been reading ff for a good few years and so do two of my irl friends (the only ppl who know i read ff in this day and age irl) and we were all in the harry potter fandom. then we were like, we should make our own JOKE fanfic, and we're were like planning it all out for fun w y/n and shit and then we actually wrote it😭 it has four chapters and it's on wattpad but it's the most insane cliché shit and probably the funniest thing I've ever done LMFAOO

and then months and months after that i tried to do my own little things but they were all terrible. but then jan 2023 i started like seriously writing. the first proper fic (multichap) i tried to do kinda crashed and burned and the other ones never made it past a few thousand words. the writing was good i just dk how to make a story😭 anyway then in september i wrote a full hp one shot even though im not in the fandom anymore?? tried to reform my multichap and wrote a few more chapters then was like wait, this still isn't working (for plot reasons).

writing is hard but rn im working on a clyde biography which is easy enough bc it's it's basically just all my head cannons❤️

🔪what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project 🔪

usa secret service LMFAO

i was writing this bodyguard x presidents daughter clybe fic and i was like.. is he even necessary??

turns out that yeah the american president has a stupid amount of guards for him AND his family and some of them live in the white house

i was basically js trying to figure out if a personal bodyguard was a reach

but that's been scrapped bc honestly it would've just been a rip off of an incredible bodyguard fic from another fandom that i read, but oh to dream

the first chapter actually bangs though i read it over a few months back and i was like damn who wrote thiss

im also considering on becoming a baby electrician bc i feel like electrician clyde x terribly built house bebe would be SO cute, but if need to know so much for it to work, thoughts?

☁️what made you choose your username☁️

basically there was an era where i was like oh i should probably get socials so i made an ao3, twitter, discord etc and i just picked two random words for each. for ao3 my first username was savage toes but i forgot abt it so i made a new acc

i picked mardytoast bc my friend, who knows i read ff has a cat called melba, and she was talking to me one time and she was like oh it's melba as in melba toast and i was like oh okayy

so when i was making my user i used that but obviously im not stealing her cats name so i chose some other word that started with m

and im actually not joking i literally created the word mardy scholars would say i COINED the phrase. like i remember i was just like okay mardy i guess. AND IN FEBRUARY I FIND OUT MARDY MEANS ANGRY GRUMPY MOODY?? like explains that arctic monkeys song but damn. so if anyone's wondering I DO NOT CLAIM THAT im just mardy with no meaning

and in september (?) i created this acc bc this writer i was going to beta read for wanted to be able to contact me outside of email so i really quickly made this and just used my ao3 username!

omg and whenever she sends me the doc with the chapter she titles it 'Mardy's Copy' and the first time I saw it i had this out of body feeling and i was like WOAH...i guess im mardy now

(and also our one on one channel in her discord server of betas was called mardy's seat like cutee)

so now me and my username have merged and i genuinely feel like my name is mardy😊

so mardy is the alias i use on all accounts where ppl i actually know don't follow me!!

send in more asks pls i love talking abt myself

the ask game is in my recent reblogs <333

[bobpiecheese]

M*A*S*H

A parody of "NASA" as performed by Ariana Grande

Parody number: 3,281

A little tribute to the odd duck in my list of shows I've seen in their entirety.

————————————–

Song goes "Suicide is Painless" Though lyric-less, sounds rather nice

A fifty-year old show but I've Watched it all the way through, if you know what I'm Like with TV shows, that's weird as balls, that's right There's not any robots plus it's old as shite But it's been in reruns for my whole damn life Won't look it up, sure that it was shown at five So ev'ry single day, I'd be home on time To enjoy the drama and the comic lines dependin' on the season Though if you'd let me be honest with you The two base genres are ones I'd normally skip, true Don't like war hist'ry, too squeamish for med shows too But together? Couldn't get enough of M*A*S*H

Comedy just works, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna re- Drama makes my heart ache, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna replay (M*A*S*H) Glib-ass one-liners, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna re- Tragedy, my heart aches, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna replay (M*A*S*H)

Poor Hawkeye All he wants is to save ev'ry patient's life With Trapper or B.J., either mate is fine But the upper brass keep takin' away sleep time And his leave (oh-oh-oh) Can't escape from Frank Burns and his bigotry (oh-oh-oh-oh) Not 'til the sixth season when Charles number three Turns out to be more nice, if still a snob at times, mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm But then Radar left, I should say that I miss you Did mean more Klinger, that's a polarisin' issue How well did the dress thing age? Not really sure, true Even with that, couldn't get enough of M*A*S*H (oh)

All the slapstick works, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna re- Sad times makes my heart ache, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna replay (M*A*S*H) Snarky one-liners, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna re- Patient dies, my heart aches, gonna replay Gonna replay, gonna, gonna replay (M*A*S*H)

Gotta lotta takes though I'm not sure if I should bother Like how I prefer the seasons when the boss was Potter, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm The first three were fine, just too much goofiness on offer, mmm-mmm, yeah (I preferred the later balance of humor and drama) And then there's, wait, no, that's all I have now that I wonder, wonder (thought I had a few more but I'm comin' up with nada)

You haven't seen it? Go on, try, mmm-mmm-mmm Just make sure to keep some tissues for your eyes, I-I-I-I, mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm

————————————–

Okay, who's bright idea was it to make asterisks turn the text italic instead of, I dunno, just displaying as an asterisk? Even when copy-and-pasted from another program? Had to some find-and-replace just to get the show title to show up properly, rassa-frassa…

[falloutbradreviews]

First Impressions, Ep. 3

The third installment of my new First Impressions series, where I talk about albums that I’m hearing for the first time period, or that I’m hearing for the first time in a long time, is going to have more of a theme than the last one, and it’s going to be solo artists, because I’m in the mood for pop-rock / pop singer-songwriters, or straight up pop artists, versus hard-rock and post-grunge. I may talk about some of these in a longer format, but for now, I just wanted to talk about these albums briefly, just while I go through them and figure out what I do want to listen to more.

Gavin DeGraw – Make A Move

I was a random flea mall the other day, and I found a copy of Gavin DeGraw’s fifth album, 2013’s Make A Move, and it might have been the first album of his I ever heard. I remember picking this up when it came out in 2013, but I haven’t heard it in a long time. The booth that had it was a booth that had albums for $1.50 each, or four albums for $5, so I picked up a few albums, including the next album I’m going to talk about, but I picked this up out of a curiosity to see if this album has held up over the last decade. Honestly, I like it just fine, especially for an inconsequential pop-rock / blue-eyed soul album that doesn’t try to do anything more than what it sets out to do. I don’t love this album, mind you, but it’s pretty catchy and fun, so I don’t know, take that as you will.

Sara Bareilles – Little Voice

One of the other albums I got was Sara Bareilles’ label debut album, 2007’s Little Voice. I’ve listened to some of her stuff in the past, but I’ve never heard this album, which is a crime, because this is the album that has “Love Song” on it. That song is so good, even all these years later, and the rest of the album is pretty fun, too. It’s mainly a pop / piano-pop album, and yeah, it’s really solid stuff. I would love to dive into this one more throughout the week, but in terms of a quick first listen, I absolutely enjoy this.

Jack’s Mannequin – The Glass Passenger

I picked this album up at FYE a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve always wanted to check this out, despite not being too familiar with Jack’s Mannequin. I’ve heard a couple of Andrew McMahon & The Wilderness albums, but I’ve also listened to the other two Jack’s Mannequin records. This was the only one I hadn’t heard, but I remember when The Glass Passenger came out in 2008. I never listened to it them, but I remember seeing promotional stuff for it. I got it at FYE for $2, and it was a great $2, because this album is really good. This is another one that I’m debating on getting into. It’s a bit long, as both and his debut with this project tended to be, but it’s got a lot of really fun, catchy, and enjoyable songs. For a couple of dollars, that’s a great deal, and it’s a really solid piano-pop / power-pop album.

John Mayer – Continuum

One artist that I haven’t listened to much of is John Mayer, believe it or not, but I’ve always wanted to. I did listen to his last album, 2021’s Sob Rock, partially because I love the 1980s yacht-rock aesthetic that he has on it, but I’ve never heard any of his classic material from his debut in 2001 to 2013, give or take. He’s had a few musical changes over his career, and this album, 2006’s Continuum, shows him moving into what I always knew him as, which was a blues and soul. I guess his early stuff was more pop-rock in tone, even with “Your Body Is A Wonderland,” but this is blues record. This is the one that I’ve been wanting to hear, because I remember seeing this quite a lot in the mid-00s, but it’s a really solid record. It’s a great blues and soul record, especially for being a bit different than what was popular at the time, so I have to commend this record for being relatively unique. I also love his voice, and I forgot how good Mayer’s voice is, but it’s like butter here.

Elliott Yamin – Self-Titled

I’ve always wanted to check out the debut album from American Idol finalist Elliott Yamin, and I finally found a copy of it! It’s crazy that he was on the same season as Katharine McPhee, Kellie Pickler, Chris Daughtry, and Taylor Hicks, but he placed very high. I’ve never heard this album until now, but it’s a solid little R&B and pop record. He had a decent-sized hit from this record with “Wait For You,” but it’s kind of a shame his career didn’t blow up as much as it should have, because his voice is utterly fantastic. I’m shocked he didn’t win American Idol, but that’s neither here nor there at this point, since that was almost 20 years ago. Even so, this record is actually quite good, but it’s nothing super unique, either, so I can guess I kind of see it. It’s still done quite well, regardless, so R&B fans should definitely check this out.

[brionysea]

1, 9, 10, 17, 18!

thank youuu zan you always send such good ones <3

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

my backlog is mostly one-shots; they're less overwhelming, and it's easier for me to reach the 'I completed something! accomplishment! yay!!!' part without running out of steam. but I've been trying out multi-chapter fics more and I'm not against them, it feels like there's a lot of potential and collaboration with regular commenters who come along for the ride or even give me IDEAS 0.0

9. Do you comment on stories you read?

I try to! it's so hard sometimes even though I KNOW literally just leaving a heart emoji can make someone's day

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

Sure enough, the spectre fades away in the space between blinks. One moment there, the next… gone.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

tactically? read a book - anything that wakes up my passion for storytelling (fic doesn't work for me in this state, it has to be A BOOK). ideally? take a step back and do something that has nothing to do with it; showering and washing/drying my hair and eating something always helps me feel like more of a person, which helps with creative output - or, if the problem is less 'writing' and more 'writing this specific project,' then I can work on a different one and still get some pride and affirmation of free will out of knowing 'yeah, I can still make stuff'. realistically? lie in bed scrolling aimlessly on my phone and feel annoyed at myself for not being able to write

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

oh god. okay so butterflies and bullshit I obviously came up with before writing anything; it's a passive aggressive aro title because I find the persistent idea that you HAVE to feel butterflies in your stomach in a romantic way to be bullshit, and that's why I'm writing the fic. house of mirrors was from a brainstorming session after I decided I wanted to post it in chapters and I already had one finished; it's batman, so the whole fun house/hall of mirrors thing is already there in the source material, and it also describes the messed up family dynamics I'm exploring in the fic. day 233 (in my drafts rn) is from the thought process of inconsistencies in canon that sent me down the path of thinking that SOMETHING could have happened on that day. bleach blonde was renamed from a song lyric title after I figured out that's what the story is about. rudbeckia is the name of a flower that I did research to figure out the name of and the name didn't end up appearing in the fic itself, but I needed a title if I was going to post it and it's once again what the story was about, so why not. shut up and drive is a rare dialogue title but it works really well since the whole premise is 'running away from home with a guy who won't shut up and drive'. the awakening (another draft) is just... what it says on the tin, honestly. a few different characters get a wake up call and I decided to make it sound more poetic because I like my fic playlists to sound cool lol

send me an ask! / ask game