#(would just like to add he was like 19 here I am not being weird)

[godsworstson]

philly park in cky2k

[puckpocketed]

5/08/2023 - Berkly Catton captains Team Canada to gold at the Hlinka Gretzky Cup, leading the tournament with 8 goals and 2 assists in 10 games || 19/01/2024 Meet the Future - Berkly Catton named Team White's captain for the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game || 5/07/2024 - Berkly Catton signs his ELC with the Seattle Kraken

Introduction, quotes/transcripts/bits and pieces under the cut!

I can't even begin to describe how jazzed I am that Berkly Catton got drafted to a team I already love. I wrote in my Sharks off-season roundup that I was hoping against hope Catton would drop to 14th overall (back before we had moved up to 11th) and the Sharks would snap him up, as unlikely as it was that they'd try to gather more firepower when we sorely needed defensive prospects. I'm so glad I got my wish one way or another <3

Krakenblr you will LOVE this dude. He's such a star. Such a character. Berkly Catton is so, SO fun to watch. You have no idea!!! I followed him in the months leading up to the draft because there was buzz that he might be available lower down because of the Height Issue (he is, tragically, 5'11 <- which makes him undraftable unfortch) + concerns with how his game will translate to the NHL level. He is an electrifying playmaker. He's so creative, throws in so many fakes, WILL break ankles, very good hands... ough <3 everything I personally love to see in a forward all rolled into one neat little package !!!

There's the suggestion that he's been "over-scouted," which really just means they've all been watching him so long they're probably overthinking things and looking for stuff to critique. I'm inclined to believe this take over the other one because I'm an optimist and he was one of my little guys going into the draft! I won't include more of that here, but there's plenty of material out there if you'd like to look for it.

Below are some of my favourite bits and pieces from media he's appeared in <3

“I don’t like to give it away (pause) but I look at guys before games,” Catton revealed. “What’s weird is going from midget to junior hockey is a big jump. Last year I was learning. This year I wanted to add stuff. My pregame stuff and to look at guys doing draws and seeing what works. That’s pre-scouting on my end. If a guy has a certain move, and you can trump it early, it gets in his head a little bit. That helped quite a bit.”

“I think I sometimes have a problem with passing the puck too much. I love seeing my teammates score and setting up for an open net. It’s one of my favourite things in hockey, if not my favourite,” Catton admitted. “That’s something I can work on. When I get a chance put it home kind of thing. I got better this year at it’s still something I’d like to improve. Honestly, I’m a pass first mentality guy I would say.”

- Berkly Catton’s video scouting has improved his overall game

You know, when I first read and saved this article I was like; this prospect who reviews VIDEO is gonna haunt me. That's my weakness btw, I'm freak4freak. If you tell me a hockey player is also deeply infatuated with the game to the point of reviewing tape in their free time that's IT for me. it's JOEVER. i have a type and i know it <3 also wowie a pass-first guy who gets really really happy when his teammates score??? crying. crying. Berkly Catton . tucking uou gently away <3 forever <3

From A Day in the Life: Berkly Catton & Conner Roulette

Fave movie is The Notebook (<- unrelated there's a . really funny comment on this video from a philly fan lamenting that Catton likes the Notebook - I assume because that's some uhhh how do the kids call it,, femme soyboy shit? lmao anyway stay LOSING toxic masculinity !!!)

The boys call him 'Berk' <3

He talks about Jack Hughes being a big influence on him (in other media, he gives Hughes as a player comp!) and going to hang out and work with the Hughes family in Michigan. I sense a thread of admiration here like it's such a sweet little crush LOL <3 I hope he notices you Berkly !!

he gives the player of the match hat to a coach/trainer (one of the two) it's lovely... ouhhh... good little fella so polite and so conscious of staff being the foundation of his success... mwah!!

From Berkly Catton Talks Hockey Sense, His Start In Hockey & More | Game Tape With Tony

His father and grandfather built him a rink in his backyard, very sweet.

1OA in the WHL draft!

Anime main character levels of training-arc... my guy shot thousands of pucks over the summer in his backyard and then came back suddenly able to score goals. <- this is where the DIY goalie made of wood and blocker pads comes in. lol. lmao. are u even real.

sorry. sorry. OLEN ZELLWEGER MENTION. <- one of my personal favourite little guys (undersized puck moving defensemen my BELOVED) "Kind of a funny story [...] I pretty much had a breakaway, when he just turned backwards and played it as a 1-on-1 somehow, and I was like 'wow, this guy's the real deal', so." I really liked how Catton easily recalled a specific person/moment when asked who challenged him the most in the WHL; I think it speaks to a thoughtfulness about the game - it would've been easy to just give a vague Oh Everyone Is Good answer here and I like that he didn't!

There's a section where he talks about how he got so good at stick lifting, such an interesting perspective I never considered - he played in situations and against people where he couldn't just throw his body around to win, so he had to learn to get the puck in other ways. KEVIN KORCHINSKI MENTION <- another one of my little guys <3

mentions his dad being a big influence on his 'patience'. parents are so funny to me. ur watching your sons juniors matches? and Ohhhhh Chris Catton was a hockey player too . it all makes sense. Berkly Catton product of jockdad like so many before him <3

I do love that throughout this interview, Catton defers to his linemates a lot. Always hyping them up and talking about how he owes his success to them. it could be construed as false humility, given Catton was the highest scoring draft-eligible in the league - but he really does go out of his way to emphasise how highly he regards them and how much of their on-ice success is owed to good chemistry built up over the entire season. It strikes me as genuine!! He's a good boy <3

Revealed he can solve a rubix cube at the end... wow... he just liek me fr...

PLEASE watch this on-ice interview where he's chatting after a game and then gets ABSOLUTELY WASTED by 5 water bottles and all the boys. he is clearly so so so beloved in that locker room waaaahhh <3

Anyway this isn't an exhaustive list but it IS a lot of the reasons why I really liked him pre-draft. welcome to the deep Berkly <3

[dollypopup]

FINE, if no one else is gonna say it. . .

it is WEIRD that we as a fandom are so okay with Debling being a 'serious' option for Penelope. She is a 19 year old woman. She is a third daughter from an unpopular family who has no father. This is a 30 year old man, 40, even, who is pursuing a teenager. All the 'oh, he notices her as a woman!'

and none of us are asking why it is that a seemingly 'perfect' guy is out here going for a woman on the outskirts of her society, who most people do not pay attention to? a powerful man with a lot of money and a title pursuing a woman who is largely unnoticed in her world, in a family without a father, who doesn't have, on the surface, any other options? our fandom doesn't talk about how big of a power imbalance they have between them, or even how Penelope is being styled to look extra young in contrast to him?

she looks like his DAUGHTER. He's even styled to be a more mature man in their society. Compare him to the fashions of younger men. Clean shaven, sleeker lines in their fashion,

He is, in fact, most comparable to Will, who is a married man with three children.

Debling legit looks like he could be her father. That is NOT a 20 year old man. That man is in his 30s at best, and in his 40s at worst. Which gives him and Pen a decade or two of age difference. Add on the fact that he's titled and she's a literal teenager, and it just gives me the MAJOR ick.

People are praising the idea that Debling makes Penelope feel like a 'woman' but as someone who has been a 19 year old woman with much older men interested in me (especially a PLUS SIZE 19 year old woman with older men interested in me) claiming I am oh so mature, it's. . .uh, not usually a GOOD thing?

We'll demonize Colin for being a 22 year old man who doesn't see Penelope as a romantic option because for the grand majority of the time he's known her, she's been a minor, but see absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that the production has given her a suitor who is an outsider of their society, who could take her away wherever if she actually agrees to marry him, and now have this 19 year old woman no one is going to really check on to do with as he so pleases? And we're wanting him to. . .what? Make out with her? Take her virginity? Just the thought of that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

We'll talk about the power imbalance between Colin and Penelope, about how he has experience that she doesn't and how that can cause concern, but absolutely NOTHING about the ACTUALLY CONCERNING power imbalance between her and Debling? Colin is 22 and a third son, he and Penelope have known each other for years, he is safe. He would never take advantage of her or lead her astray, he cares about her as a person and then comes to love her and desire her in ways outside of friendship. Debling has known her for less than a month, is likely in his mid thirties, has a title and money and power, and felt okay with feeling up on her in public in an era when holding HANDS was considered scandalous.

Imma need us to give Monopoly Man more smoke because I am confused as to how he's oh so perfect and yet the option he chose for a wife is an unpopular and financially unstable 19 year old woman who is largely ignored in society. None of us find that weird?

Meanwhile, we have Colin who has, yes, held Penelope's hand and called her by her Christian name, but has also complimented her on things that aren't just her appearance, and who has asked how she's been, and tried to help her, and called her his friend, and wrote her letters, and cared about her, and I reiterate, is much much closer to her in age and can relate to her considerably more.

The whole 'oh, well Penelope should sleep with Debling to give her and Colin more even ground' is CREEPY. Colin slept around with sex workers on his travels because that's the regency appropriate safe and responsible way to explore such things for men of his age and status. He is following examples his brothers, whom he trusts and loves deeply, have set for him. He is not exploiting anyone. He is paying for a service and that service is being provided. And he's an attractive man who is young and respectful, these women are FINE, so don't go pearl clutching over how he's being oh so fetishistic just because he's exploring kink. Penelope doing these things with Debling would be HIM taking advantage of HER, and putting her in a very vulnerable and scary position. If that actually happens, what options does she have? He could say he ruined her and that would be game over for her, she has no other choices or options outside of that. And if it's actually true, she is TRAPPED.

I need this fandom to be so serious here right now. You don't ship Pebling. You ship Penelope being seen as desirable, and COLIN finds Penelope desirable. He will make that very VERY evident. We don't need an almost 40 year old man to pursue her and do nothing but compliment how hot she is and feel up on her in public to do that. He doesn't see her as a person, but Colin does. We should be rooting for one of these men, and it's not the one a lot of us are.

[psycholuvrgirl]

hale (pt. 1 | n.s.)

summary: the sully family arrives at the pandora atolls and they’re met with an important figure from jake’s past.

hale [noun] the hawaiian word meaning home

pairing: srewtompa [metkayina!oc] x neteyam

warnings: script following (this'll occur quite a bit considering the plot of atwow makes up a good percent of the story, but fret not it is not just the script word for word every chapter)

a/n: the kids are aged up (including tuk to keep age gaps consistent, don’t be weird abt it). neteyam and aonung are 19, lo’ak and kiri are 18, tsireya is 17, and tuk is 12! (basically add four to their canonical age). also, i've never written an oc story before, so i hope you all enjoy it! this is very near and dear to me as the oc is a lot like me and has a lot of aspects of my background and story. this will (probably) be my only oc story, all my other fics will most likely be x reader stories :)

word count: 1.7k

series masterlist

The large crowd forming on the beach is her first hint that something was going on. Her eyes move to the new, unusual Na’vi on the sand -- their color a stark difference from the people’s. Srewtompa peeks her head above the water, eyes just poking above the surface. Ronal and Tonowari make their arrival, meeting the new Na’vi in the middle. Heat, pure anger rises throughout her body and she swims to the shoreline, sprinting across the sand. The word “uturu” rings in her mind, but she’s too caught up in her protectiveness to care.

She jumps in front of Ronal and Tonowari, hissing at the group of unwelcome visitors. The one who seems to be the mother pushes the man behind her, baring her teeth with a returned hiss. Their eyes lock onto one another’s -- the newcomer was older, that much was clear. She’s most likely stronger and faster too, but the smaller Na’vi doesn’t let her guard down.

“Why do you come to my home?” Srewtompa shouts.

“Ann?” her tough demeanor falters at the voice, at the name. She looks up, eyes meeting with those that belong to the man. Her eyes widen with a gasp that she can’t seem to stop. Her hand clasps over her mouth, disbelief flooding her body as she looks at the Na’vi man.

“Jake, you know her?” the woman asks. The name confirms her assumptions and she can’t fight away the smile that makes its way onto her face.

“Oh, Jake!” Srewtompa exclaims, running up to him. The woman hisses, but is ignored by the recipient. Srewtompa’s arms wrap around Jake, his doing the same.

“Neytiri, this is Ann. Little Ann, remember?” he says. Neytiri straightens up, nodding at Jake’s words. Tonowari clears his throat and Srewtompa turns to look at him.He gives her an all too familiar warning look, eliciting a nod from her.

She gives him a final hug, “And it’s Srewtompa now.” He nods as she makes her way to the spot with Tonowari and Ronal.

“You know our Srewtompa?” Ronal asks.

Jake nods, “I knew her when she was just a little girl.”

Confusion spreads over Ronal’s face. She looks at the girl for confirmation and she nods. Ronal’s mind doesn’t seem to pick up on the implication, the implication of Jake’s background; otherwise Jake probably would have been turned away without second thought. She turns back to Jake, “And you seek uturu here?”

Jake nods and Tonowari looks at them, “We are reef people. You are forest people. Your skills will mean nothing here.”

“Well, we will learn your ways, am I right?” Jake says.

Ronal continues her circle around the family, grabbing at their features as she mentions them. “Their arms are thin. Their tails are weak. You will be slow in the water.” She pauses, grabbing one of the children’s hands. “These children… are not even true Na’vi. They have demon blood!”

Srewtompa can see the family’s shame as Ronal announces it, picking up another kid’s hand to show their fingers. The girl looks at them, sorry for what was being done.

“As do I,” she says, stepping in front of Tonowari. Ronal’s head whips towards her, anger flashing in her eyes. The whole clan knew it; they knew she was not always Na’vi, but it isn’t something that typically affected her interaction with the people. She walks over to Ronal, taking the boy’s hand away from her. “Look, we’re the same, Ronal. Me and these Na’vi, we are the same. To deny them as Na’vi is to deny me as well. I was born from a Sky Person turned Na’vi -- a demon blood, but I adapted.”

“That’s right,” Jake says, “ We will adapt.”

“My husband was Toruk Makto,” Neytiri says, making her way in front of Jake, “He led the clans to victory against the Sky People.”

“This you call victory? Hiding among strangers?” Ronal asks. She points to Srewtompa, “She had no choice. She was only a child.” She averts her gaze, unsure if there’s anything she can say will make Ronal see what she sees. “It seems Eywa has turned her back on you, chosen one.”

Neytiri hisses and Ronal returns it, both women staring one another down. Jake is quick to separate the two.

“I apologize for my mate. She’s--”

“Do not apologize for me.”

“--flown a long way and she’s exhausted.”

“Jake,” Neytiri scolds. Jake is silent, but his warning look to his wife is clear with instruction. She falls behind him, making her way to join her children.

“Toruk Makto is a great war leader. All Na’vi people know his story,” Srewtompa says, trying to build reasons to allow them uturu. Her words earn murmurs  from the crowd.

“But we Metkayina are not at war,” Tonowari says. The small spark of hope dies with the sentence and she gives Jake a sorry look. Tonowari turns to Jake, finalizing his statement. “We cannot let you bring your war here.”

“I’m done with war. Okay?” Jake says, “I just want to keep my family safe.”

“Uturu has been asked,” Neytiri says, eyes closed and a frustrated tone.

Ronal and Tonowari look at each other, communicating quietly through glances. Tonowari’s eyes catch Srewtompa’s for a moment and he sighs, looking back at his lover. Although he still stays silent, she nods -- an act of permission. Tonowari places his spear into the sand, standing tall as he addresses the whole clan.

“Toruk Makto and his family will stay with us. Treat them as our brothers and sisters. Now, they do not know the sea. So they will be like babies taking their first breath. Teach them our ways, so they do not suffer the shame of being…” Tonowari looks directly at Jake, finishing his speech with one word, “...useless.” The family thanks him, mostly grateful except for their daughter in the back, who seemed almost tired of what was happening. “My son, Aonung, our daughter, Tsireya, and… Srewtompa will show you what to do.”

“Come! We’ll show you our village,” Srewtompa says with a smile. The group gathers the belongings and Tsireya takes the lead in showing the family where to go. Srewtompa walks next to Neytiri, clearing her throat to get the woman’s attention. “Mrs. Sully, I’d like to apologize for--”

“No,” Neytiri interrupts, shaking her head, “You were protecting your people. I understand.”

“Thank you,” she says, “Had I known who you were, I never would have acted that way.”

“This is for you. Your new home,” Tsireya says, pulling the attention away from the conversation. Jake says a few encouraging words, trying to get his family to cheer up as they all place their varying belongings down.

“I live right there,” Srewtompa says. She points to her marui pod in the distance, all of their eyes follow her finger. “Quite the walk away, but you all can come over if you need anything.”

“Who do you live with?” Jake asks, looking back at her. She hesitates, knowing that he won’t like the real answer. Then she realizes if she doesn’t answer, he will just worry and pry till he gets one.

“Nobody. I live alone,” she says, avoiding looking at him. 

“What?” Neytiri says. The sound of panic in her voice makes guilt rise through Srewtompa’s body. “That can’t be right. Where are your parents? You are barely an adult. You still need your parents.”

“They are… They’re gone,” she says, “And nobody really wants to take in the freaky demon kid, so it’s just been me down there.”

“Sounds like you’re living the life,” their older daughter says.

“Kiri!” Neytiri scolds.

“What? I’m just saying.”

“Ann-- Srewtompa,” he says, correcting himself, “You shouldn’t be alone.”

She shrugs, putting on a smile for the man, “I’m alright. I’m happy there.” He sighs, looking at Neytiri who has a worried look on her face. She catches a glimpse of it and shakes her head, “I will most likely see you guys all day, everyday. Alright? I’m only really in there to sleep. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah, mother, leave the poor girl alone,” one of the boys says. Her eyes travel to him and he bows his head, hand moving from forehead out towards you. “Oel ngati kameie. Nice to meet you, I’m Neteyam.”

His brother copies his greeting and their sister, who you now know as Kiri, mocks their bows. She feigns a male voice, doing a more fluttery version of the bow towards Srewtompa, which causes a giggle to leave the girl’s throat.

“I’m Tuk!” the little one exclaims. Srewtompa laughs at her excitement, sending Tuk a small wave.

“I’m Srewtompa,” she says, then adds, “But you all already knew that… I usually go by Tompa though.”

Someone at a distance calls her name, a sense of urgency in their voice. She glances out into the ocean, then back to the family. She says a rushed farewell, running out of the home and jumping into the ocean.

“She’s… interesting,” Kiri says. The other siblings nod in agreement.

“You all better be nice to her. She’s very important to me,” Jake says, “And she’s probably going to be your lifeline here. She’s gonna keep you knuckleheads alive.”

“What’s so special about her?” Neteyam asks, looking out the large open doorway. He sees her in the ocean, forehead resting against some creature’s head as she rubs their side gently.

“She was a human once, like me,” Jake says, “Where she came from… her people are similar to us-- to the Na’vi. And when the Na’vi needed her, she showed up. She was only a child when she got here.”

“She could teach you kids a lot,” Neytiri says.

“You protect her like family,” Jake says, “She is family. She may not be a Sully, but she may as well be.” 

Neteyam’s gaze lingers on the girl as she climbs out of the ocean, water dripping from her body. He notices how her features don’t completely match those of the Metkayina, enough to be identifiable but there’s something else. Her eyes catch his and she smiles, waving at him kindly. He bows his head a little, which makes her giggle. She does a fancy version of the normal greeting bow, which causes him to laugh as well. A child runs up to her, stealing the girl’s attention away.

[nicolesainz]

comfort of your arms (mm 19)

mason mount x f!reader

warnings: none, simply fluff

summary: there’s always a bad date, but the man you’ve been looking for is already here

My heels fall loudly on the floor as my bad touches the ground the same time. To say I’m not furious, would be a lie. What is going on with men and their sick minds?

Says me, who lives with a footballer and friend since forever. But Mason’s different. He’s not like all those boys I’ve been out with. He’s like an ‘apology’ for their existence, with him being such a sweetheart.

I slump on the couch, but before I could even react, Mason sits alongside me, with a worried look on his face, headset around his neck and controller on his one hand.

“What happened? You’re back early? How did it go?” A breath didn’t manage to escape my mouth when he begun bombarding me with questions.

“He was another weird and sick guy, who simply wanted a fuck, because as it seems, no girl wants to be around him” the guy literally started talking about his ex, as he was caressing my thigh . You could detect the desperation in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry this happened. You truly don’t deserve this. Did he do anything else? Please tell me he didn’t hurt you in any possible way or offend you!” Mason didn’t knew whether to touch me or not. Hug me or just caress my back. So he remained with his hands to himself.

“He tried to kiss me thrice and was always throwing every now and then sex jokes. Plus, he asked me about marriage.” The disgust in my face started to show and so did at Mason’s.

“If I was there, I would have punched the guy in the face. That’s not a way to behave with a lady. Y/N, I wish I was there to take you away from him. You must have felt very uncomfortable” poor Mason, was only trying to help and in the end I made him feel bad. This is why I avoid going out on dates.

Because then I fear that I may lose Mason.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? And I will surely never go out with that guy ever again. Thanks to my good luck, my second savior of the day, was Christian”

“Really? How come? Did he happen to be there or? And who’s the first one if you don’t mind me asking?”

“He happened to call me the third time the guy was about to kiss me. All poor Chris wanted was to ask whether we wanted to go by his house tomorrow and watch the game and I turned it into a whole scenery, with him ‘supposedly’ falling down the stairs” I say as i try to hold my laugh back, knowing it was a crazy moment and if Mason had seen the way I reacted, he would have laughed too.

“I need to thank him for that. Thank god for him.” He was relieved that one of his friends and teammates saved the day, even without knowing.

“As for my other savior, he’s sitting right in front of me and as it seems dropped his FIFA game to check on me. Also I’d like for him to give me a hug” I add with a small smile on my face and with my cheeks full on red.

“Of course I’d drop my game. You’re much more important that anything else. Come here” he motioned to come into his arms. It would be an understatement to say that a hug from Mason was the best place a person could be in the entire world.

“Thank you Mase. I am very lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I think that you’ve been gifted to me, even though I don’t deserve it.” I turn my head to look him in his puppy brown eyes who had now softened and were focusing on me with such determination.

“You deserve the whole sky with its starts and planets in. And I should be the one saying to be lucky to have you in my life. You come to every game, cheer for me, even when we lose, you’re still there. You’re always next to me.” His hand caresses my cheek softly, putting away the hair that were on my face.

“I love you” I blurt out of nowhere, leaving both me and him in utter shock. I put my face on my hands and cover from the embarrassment.

What I said, was the truest thing I’ve ever said to a person in my life. I do love Mason. There’s not a moment that goes by that a thought big him doesn’t pop into my mind. Or that whenever we talk or hug, butterflies conquer my stomach and force me in a good way to be around him as much as possible. He fuels me and makes me wanna smile as much as possible.

“Y/N, can you look at me for a second, I need to tell you something” his voice had gone quiet but still was the same as before, clearly not mad and surely happy with what I’ve said.

“I love you to the moon and back. I’ve been wanting to say this since god knows how long! It takes everything in me not to say this every day, because I was scared you’d leave the house and consider me as one of the guys like today”

“You could never be like them, Mase. You’re unique and special. You make others feel special too, when they are around you. God, sometimes I think that you're too good for everyone" Mason had brought our faces to only mere inches apart, feeling his hot minty breath on my lips.

"I could say the same thing about you, darling. Although, I would very much prefer if I was the only man being around you, so I could be good only to you." His words had left me breathless and unable to respond to his incredible charm.

"Would you be willing to do that?" I manage to say, feeling as if I'm flying in between the clouds.

"I would be willing to help you touch the freaking stars, sweetheart." How can one not fall for a man like Mason?

"How do you always manage to do that, Mason?"

"Do what, love?"

"Lead my path back to you."

"You better follow it this time, cause I will be doing the exact same. All my paths had been leading to you"

[justiceforjumin]

Masterpost

This is a comprehensive masterpost linking to every chat I've translated in chronological order. Here are however some things to know before you proceed :

↳ I do this in my own free time, and I'm not being paid to do it. I pitched this idea randomly at 1AM on my other sideblog on a whim, and I'm still making this on a whim. ↳ Neither English nor Korean is my first language. I am however fluent in both. I'm only mentioning it in case one of my translations completely misses the mark. I can't be perfect all the time, lol. ↳ I'm doing this in real time. I don't have anything backed up, which means that I'll have to go through the entire game from the beginning and translate each chat as they go. Please understand that I might not be able to update this blog every day and that it's likely going to take a while. ↳ Translating from Korean to English is tricky. Some things are bound to still get lost in translation despite my efforts. I'll have to take some liberties at some points to keep the meaning intact if translating word-for-word makes it hard to understand. ↳ I am not going to be translating every possible answer with every possible outcome. I'm crazy enough to take on this project but I have my limits, lol. The version I'll be posting is the one from my own game, with the answers I pick to get to the good ending. These may not be the "canon" answers, but there will be enough of them to get the good ending. (Also ! I will add a "♥" whenever there's an answer I give that Jumin likes.) ↳ However, I am open to translating other interactions in the game, even if they aren't in Jumin's route. As long as they involve him, it's fair game. Anything he says that makes you stop and think "wait, that's weird", just ask and I shall deliver (I've done every route except Yoosung's. It's likely that I'll be able to find the Korean line in my own game, but in case I don't, you'll have to send it to me.) ↳ Since this is meant to be about Jumin, I'll only be translating the chats, calls and story modes that concern him (if a character talks about him in a chat he's not in, I might also translate it if I think it would give more insight on Jumin's character overall). Tackling the ENTIRE thing will drive me insane, lol.

Thank you for your patience and support.

PROLOGUE (Part 1, Part 2)

COMMON ROUTE

Day 1 - Chatrooms ↳ 주민의 외로운 출근 · "Jumin's Lonely Commute" [08:00] ↳ 세영의 고양이 사랑 · "Seven's Love for Cats" [10:04] ↳ 주민의 호기심 · "Jumin's Curiosity" [13:48] ↳ 두 남자의 의논 · "Discussion Between Two Men" [18:58] ↳ 파티 개최 의논 · "Discussion about Hosting the Party" [19:40] Day 1 - Phone Calls ↳ Outgoing Call · [01:03] ↳ Outgoing Call · [08:35] ↳ Incoming Call · [18:10] ↳ Outgoing Call · [18:58] Day 2 - Chatrooms ↳ 내게 감정표현이란 · "What Expressing Emotion Is to Me" [02:11] ↳ 부자들의 삶은 달라 너무 달라 · "Rich People's Lives Are Different, so Different" [11:50] ↳ 티격태격 · "Bickering" [15:58] ↳ 에이 솔직히 말해봐~ · "Come On, Be Honest with Me~" [19:56] Day 2 - Phone Calls ↳ Outgoing Call · [00:31] ↳ Outgoing Call · [11:00] ↳ Incoming Call · [14:15] ↳ Outgoing Call · [19:58] Day 3 - Chatrooms ↳ Zorro 포스터 · "Zorro Poster" [02:59] ↳ 점심 식사 · "Lunchtime" [12:02] ↳ 그사세 · "State of Affairs" [15:15] ↳ 파티에 대해서 · "Regarding the Party" [20:01] Day 3 - Phone Calls ↳ Outgoing Call · [02:59] ↳ Incoming Call · [09:58] ↳ Outgoing Call · [17:00]

[alpaca-clouds]

Okay, let me talk about the Maria/Alucard thing

You know, I am gonna add my two cents to this topic, because the discussion is rather... weird, if you ask me. Because game fans kinda misrepresent the games.

Here is the thing: Within the game canon never is Alucard ever officially in a relationship with Maria. She is in love with him, but the last we see of them by the end of the audio drama - Nocturne of Recollection - is Alucard opening up to her a bit. But... We never see them in a relationship.

There is no doubt that Maria is infatuated with him. She totally is. In SotN and then, of course, in NoR, where she has gotten him to come with her, to stay rather than doing his whole "sleep until the world needs me again" stick. But that... does not make a relationship. That does not mean they are never going to be in a relationship - but technically they never were confirmed to be in a relationship in the game canon.

So, yeah. No. their relationship is not canon to the games. Alucard never is in a canonical relationship with Maria. Portraying it as if it was is just misleading.

When it comes to whether or not they might be canon in Nocturne?

I personally do not think so, mostly for the reason that Nocturne went and tried to make the teenagers... well, teenagers. Maria is 16 here and she acts like a 16yo kid in the real world would act, while in games she is 17yo and acts like a 17yo anime character (aka, like an adult).

Which is what makes it a lot more uncomfortable to imagine her in a relationship with the very much adult Alucard.

Of course, there might be a chance that she will act a lot more grown up in season 2, after the trauma she went through, given she can no longer rely on her mother. But given that the show does not seem to go the anime route from all we can tell (aka the "oh, yeah, leave those kids all on their own, they'll figure it out"), instead giving them adult characters to go along (Alucard, Mizrak, possibly Juste, too).

By the way, I also saw the weird argument that "but Alucard is shipped with Trevor and Sypha and he is only a teenager". To which I just stand here and stare in confusion. Because for one: We do not know how old Alucard is. He technically can be 19 or 20 years old. But it does not even matter, because the text of the show clearly says, that no matter how old he is, he is an adult, because dhampirs age differently. And he acts like it. He acts like an adult. An emotionally stunted adult - but like an adult.

But most importantly: Trevor and Sypha are in their early to mid 20s. So probably within a couple of years agewise of Alucard.

Of course, technically speaking the entire age difference thing tends to be moot when you are talking about immortal beings like Alucard. Like, technically speaking the difference in age and experience between Alucard and even someone like Mizrak, who is probably in his 30s, is going to be immense.

But... Nocturne's Maria very much is still a kid. She acts like a kid. Really, she has enough stuff to worry about without worrying about romance.

Could some romance happen between the two at some point in the future, when she is an adult? Sure. Why not. But within the realm of the show? It would probably just feel weird. Because, again. Maria is a kid.

[foreststarflaime]

All 20 + the wildcard of “how much of a literature nerd are they” for Loki

( @izunias-meme-hole )

Oh boy you got it! Fun fun here we goooo

1- Favourites thing(s) about this character?

Genderqueer! Parent of fun horrors whom he loves dearly! Mischievous fun! Inspires devoted love in someone (Sigyn) despite being disliked and abandoned by the rest of the world! God of stories meta fun! Trickster with a good heart!

2- What song(s) remind you of this character?

The Poet and the Muse by Old Gods of Asgard! Banger song and changing fate vibes wrapped up in a spooky weird story

3- Do you like this character?

No. I LOVE HIMMMMM

4- Would you write about this character?

Absolutely I do need to don’t I

5- What do you not like about this character?

That media doesn’t often portray him with his kids 😔 also don’t like it as much when he’s portrayed as being too on the evil side, I like him to be sympathetic or at least to have a bit of nuance

6- Favourite thing this character has said?

I’ll go with comics Loki specifically for this one, also I’m cheating and treating an extended monologue as one ‘thing’

7- What do you like most about this character?

TRICKSTER TROPEEEEEEE

8- Do you think this character is underrated or overrated?

Hm idk. All versions of Loki deserve ALL the love and praise and attention. I think comics Loki is decently popular? He is…rated ig lol. Myth Loki tho? Underrated gem

9- What’s your favourite headcanon(s) for this character?

Oh I’m realizing I haven’t actually heard many other people’s headcanons about him. I’ll make one up rn instead hmmm…he plays a musical instrument of some kind, something nice and bard-y that can be sat with and played by a campfire. Guitar? Nonono wait LYRE he plays the lyre get it it’s perfect

10- Who do you like to ship with this character? (If you do of course) Is it another character from the cast or is it an OC?

I’ve never really shipped him with anyone tbh, buddy needs to get himself some friends who love him unconditionally so he has a support system before that happens. I volunteer

11- Who do you not like to ship with this character?

Uhhh hmm idk shipping slips my mind more often than not, I have to be reminded romance can exist lmao but yeah ig I don’t really like shipping marvel him with Sylvie. Or Verity, haven’t seen it but I’m sure people do, for the reasons listed above^ I do adore their friendship tho it is so special to me

12- Have you read any fics about this character? (if it’s not an OC)? Can you recommend anything good?

I HAVENT STILLLLL 😭😭😭 that said if anyone seeing this has one to recommend do share 👀

13- Contrary wise if it is an OC, what’s your favourite story with them in it you’ve written?

I still haven’t written for him either 😔 he is in my head constantly tho in many Scenarios they have just not reached the concrete stage

14- What outfit would you really like to see this character wear? Or what’s your favourite outfit of theirs?

Aoa Loki god of stories has always been my favorite look for him but if I had to change anything it would be to add more of the fur, give him some Genesis-level fancy boots, give him longer hair with maybe a little braid or two that he put in there fiddling with his hair while bored, and then unleash him upon the world

15- Favourite line of theirs?

I think this is a duplicate question so I’ll go with a different version of him now, how about Twilight of the Gods Loki? This scene destroyed me

16- What do you think would improve this character? Like, character-arc wise?

I am so so bad at criticism, uhhh in general let him have his kids and let him go a little quirky crazy while still being sympathetic

17- Have you ever had a crush on this character…?

Crush? No. Squish? Yeah. Gender envy? Absolutely all the time

18- What’s something you associate this character with? E.g. a certain colour, object or scenery?

Winter for sure. And campfires. Snowball fights

19- What would the show/book/movie be like if this character wasn’t present? (if it’s not an OC)

:((((( I WOULD CRY. AND IT WOULD HAVE THE LIGHT AND JOY TAKEN OUT OF IT

20- Contrary wise, if this character is an OC, how does their presence change the story?

HIS PRESENCE CATERS TO ME AND MAKES ME HAPPY :) also adds wonderful solace and acceptance and representation of people who like to be a little weird and end up outsiders

Wildcard- how much of a literature nerd are they?

Massive nerd. Literature anarchist, will say anything is literature and he’s right. If he was in a stuffy high literature class in some university he would write his term paper on a comic book or a video game or something, and he constantly references any type of storytelling medium. Can pull references and examples from random stories out of nowhere from the most obscure books/movies/video games/etc

[notmoreflippingelves]

@saemi-the-dreamer asked: Esteban: 2, 7, 18, 19 and 21? :D

As I mentioned in my initial reply to the ask, I made a separate post for Esteban, since--as will surprise no one--I really rambled on A LOT about him. And it wasn't fair to shove all my EsteRamblings into the same, much shorter post with Gabe.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Honestly, pretty much everything about Esteban's character journey in S3 makes me absolutely INSANE (in the best way). But I think the thing that makes me most feral of all is the moment when he falls into the crystal well. His sparkly new outfit and stupid hairdo. The fact that the narrative has visibly and thematically linked him via this shared experience with Elena for the entire rest of the show. The symbolism of him being given the power to run away (literally and metaphorically) from the problems that he has caused. The fact that the show will ultimately end with him not running away but instead running towards something (Elena, specifically to save her from the problem Esteban himself caused). It's just... they did all this to me, an English major, and expected me to be normal about it. The audacity.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I like it when Esteban is *included* in things. While I wouldn't say he gets as much focus as the four amigos or Isabel, he still does get a good bit of art and a reasonable amount of fic. And its honestly nice to have a blorbo who isn't just shamelessly ignored (*cough Jean Innocent *cough) or vilified to the point of OOC-ness (*cough Kristoph Gavin cough*) , or used almost exclusively as a plot device to facilitate the fandom preferred ship of which they are not part of (both of the others).

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

"Admire" is a weird way to put it as it makes it sound as though the dynamic is or should be aspirational/healthy. And I'm honestly having trouble coming up with one that fits that particularly description. I guess either Isabel or Francisco would be closest to meeting that description. But I don't really have too much to say about them right now.

So I am just going to go ahead and treat this question as "relationship that I find interesting and enjoy watching." And honestly, there is a LOT of them. Obviously his relationship with Elena is arguably the building block of the entire show and naturally, I love and cherish it with my entire heart. But I already ramble too much about it so I won't do so here.

I also find his history and complicated relationship with Victor fascinating. The two are clear foils of each other and very shippable ones too, and so my little English major brain/rare pair loving self gets a lot of mileage over the little that we see of them together. But we really only get a single episode of the two of them interacting. (Apart from a few moments in "The Magic Within" and Esteban being mentioned a few times in "The Lightning Warrior") so there's really only so much that I can say about them. And a lot of what I love about them is really just head canons/parts of my fic, so it could be totally ooc.)

Similarly, I think his dynamic with Dona Paloma is fun to watch and has a lot of interesting potential, but we really only scratch the surface of it. The narrative lets them be temporary allies or business rivals for the sake of a given episode's plot, but its rarely done in a way that adds something new or interesting to their relationship. (When Esteban + Paloma political shenanigans happen, its rarely used to advance either of their character developments and when it is, it's usually just Paloma's..as Esteban gets most of his development in other episodes).

So, I feel like I have to say that the most-interesting-and engaging Esteban relationship (apart from Elena) has to be Naomi. The two of them have a really interesting dynamic to watch and their relationship specifically (as opposed to just the two of them as individual characters) gets a good amount of direct focus. Whether Esteban is sniping at Naomi from across the Grand Council table, begrudgingly accepting her as a capable colleague by the end of "Finders Leapers," teaching her to waltz (in order to show up Paloma) in "My Fair Naomi" or clinging to her when Valentina's carriage goes out of control, the two of them don't just steal the scene but positively abscond with it in the most delightful way. Plus, I love the parallels of Naomi ending the show in Esteban's former position as Chancellor. (I like to headcanon that she's gonna end up seeking a lot of advice from him for her new role and may even recruit him as her number two. He has 41 years of valuable experience that it would be shame to waste).

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

This is hardly a surprising answer, but...I do not particularly care for his relationship with Luisa. Esteban was orphaned when he was 9 at most, so he barely remembers his mother. The closest thing to a mother that he does remember is the grandmother who raised him. He needed lots of love and validation and attention, and based on what we see in canon, Luisa didn't give him nearly enough. It took years for her to realize they'd left him out of her "favorite" family painting, the flashbacks in "Dias de las Madres" suggest that she was unaware of just how lonely and vulnerable baby!Esteban was even knowing that he had just lost his parents, she gives a pretty clear impression of Elena being her favorite grandchild ( even before Esteban's secret comes out) which I am sure did *wonders* on baby!Esteban's already fragile self-esteem, and in "Coronation Day," even after she knows that Esteban helped save the kingdom (including both her and Elena), she still side-eyes Elena when Elena says that she has forgiven Esteban. tfw you sacrifice your life for your cousin's (who is also your grandma's fave) and risk it again to banish the evil time spirit, but it's still not enough to earn a long-overdue hug from your granny.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Give him very specific and sexual Shuriki-related trauma. I mean to be fair, it's not that I enjoy it so much. It's just there in my head and it happens even when I try to make fluffy and silly little plot bunnies. I would say my favorite thing that I actually enjoy doing and make an effort to do is just aggressively validate him and his feelings since he doesn't really get much of that in canon. I like having characters tell him how much he means to them, and I like for them to genuinely mean it. I like to tell him that he is capable of being loved (romantically and/or platonically ) and has the right to be loved. I like for people to recognize that he has been through so damn much and is still living with the scars that the Dark Times have left on his mind, heart, and soul. I like for other characters to come out and tell him that he's important to them, that he's fundamentally a good and worthy person even if a flawed one who lost his way for awhile, I like having characters tells him that they enjoy his company. And perhaps, most of all, I like having characters (especially Elena. but also Victor, Naomi, and probably anyone else) feel protective of him. To have them promise to take care of him and make sure that he never has to feel alone, forgotten, unloved, or helpless ever again. So basically, my favorite thing to do is aggressively project onto him and give him all the sorts of things I would want for myself as wish-fulfillment.

My least favorite thing that I sometimes see done in fic is when past (or present) Shuriki/Esteban is genuinely romanticized (as opposed to treated as inherently abusive/dubiously consensual). When their feelings are assumed to be mutual, genuine, healthy (if admittedly unconventional/unexpected), and redemptive. Particularly when Esteban tries to "save" Shuriki from Elena and/or "redeem" her from her prison cell, because he loves Shuriki/knows that she isn't really "all bad." Because no, in my view, Shuriki is far beyond any hope of redemption, and no one in Avalor would know that more than Esteban, who was forced to stay by her side and serve her for 41 years.

Now, I do think it's possible that Esteban may have developed a little bit of Stockholm syndrome towards Shuriki, based on the length of time they worked closely together, how utterly dependent on her that he had to be just in order to survive, and how desperate he's always been for just a little bit of attention/affection. But again this wouldn't be real, genuine love. At most, it would be physical attraction, and a conditioned learned dependency on her as a survival mechanism. And given the huge power imbalance between them, there's also this inevitable question of any physical and/or emotional relationship being built on a foundation of dubious consent and sexual harassment (at best).

Given that Shuriki does seem shocked and genuinely hurt when Esteban finally stands up to her in "Secret of Avalor," I think it's also possible that she did grow to care for him as much as she could possibly care for anyone. But I also think that the closest to "love" that it's possible for her to feel is casual affection (similar to what one might feel for a favorite toy) or possessive lust.

And um... so no, I do not think Shuriki is capable of love and even if she was, I don't think it would be possible for her to be rehabilitated by/through love. And even if she was, Esteban is the absolute last person I would want to do said rehabilitation work.

Shuriki personally murdered multiple members of Esteban's family, conquered and terrorized his country, and then made him do all the work of managing Avalor while giving him none of the credit. He was a stupid teenager when they met (and from what we can tell, she seems to have been at least 5-10 years older than him...possibly a lot more if she'd already started magically de-aging herself), . As such, she easily manipulated him by preying on his youth, insecurity, and naivety. (Honestly, they give me BIG "Edmund Pevensie and Jadis the White Witch" energy. Baby!Esteban was a bit older and presumably *a bit* smarter than Edmund, but still very naive and very vulnerable and therefore very susceptible to the corruptive powers of someone significantly older, crueler, and more powerful than he. )

So, it makes me super sad and uncomfy to think about Esteban wanting to be and being responsible for personally saving the life/ soul of the person who has corrupted and controlled every aspect of his life since he was 17-18. He deserves better than that. Even if I still like giving him extra trauma and having him wrestle with it.

[hoperays-song]

Sing 1 Commentary and Review Pt. 3

Welcome back to the madness loves!!! Also, I tried to tone down the commentary so I get further in the movie this time. Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Also yes! Enjoy!

Yes, I am trying to restrain myself more this time, it's hard.

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Guys, guys, guys, here me out here... I think Barry minds.

Also, headcanon I'm not sure I ever mentioned on here before but the reason Barry minds Johnny taking his spot isn't jealousy of being passed over but because he didn't want his honorary nephew to have a larger role in the gang than he already did. He was trying to protect him.

HERE. This is the moment where Marcus confirms they were going to stop stealing after this last heist. They were legit only doing it out of necessity because the needed money.

(aka my debt theory is going strong bwahahaha)

Ok but the way Marcus looks at Stan and Barry when Johnny storms off, just his face of "that's weird right? or is it normal teenage angst? what's going on?" is so funny. He's so lost.

Also, I genuinely believe that Johnny might have been planning on telling his family about the singing here (he comes back much later but seems still really hyped up like he was getting the confidence to do so) but didn't when he was given the role of getaway driver. Even if it was just for one job, it clearly made him feel way less seen as a person and like he was a disappointment for not fitting into the mold of who he thinks his father wants him to be (the queer metaphor is still going hard I see, lovely).

👏 Relationship👏  Counseling👏 

Engineer Rosita My Beloved!!!! <3

This woman definitely has at least two masters degrees in mechanical engineering because the machine she made is something out of Willy Wonka.

So... there either were intake forms where they all listed their talents and Johnny put down a skill he hadn't done since he was little or... Buster legit just asked this teenager to learn an skill that takes years upon years of training in like a month. For some weird reason, i'm leaning towards the latter and Johnny having experience is a coincidence.

Horrified Punk Rocker™️

I completely forgot that Meena wrote out what she was gonna say to Buster on her hand. I love that and I will be including it everywhere.

Also, unrelated, but Buster is on his second felony of the movie right now and we barely are passed the 30 minutes mark. Not to mention the numerous misdemeanors.

And, the workshop where they build their props in apparently on the second floor according to Buster. That seems like you're making more work for yourself with all the moving up and down but, you know, you do you.

Mike puntable moments counter: 19

He really does not think things through does he?

Lance puntable moments counter: 17

Dude, she's your girlfriend, for fucks sake, be supportive!!!! It's not rocket science over here!!!

Johnny making fun of his dad and exaggerating his accent will never not be funny to me. He's acting like a regular teenager, not a gang member, and it's both adorable and hysterical.

Judith has arrived!!! We love characters who are actually just trying to do their jobs here. Like imagine being the bank representative assigned to Buster freaking Moon. You'd be pissed off too.

... Gay. That's the only commentary I can add here. That's very gay.

Gunter, the chaos enabler, Rosita, the chaos handler, and Caspar, the chaos.

You just know as soon as Caspar got home he was begging him mom to let him hang out with the fun dance guy again.

Johnny's over here going through the nine stages of grief about his singing career.

Also, do we know why Johnny was called away this time? Because they weren't planning any heists in between the one we have already seen and the failed one to our knowledge. So, was he actually called back because of something to do with the garage? It would technically be a family business thing then after all.

Ash, I am so sorry. About everything you go through in this movie. So sorry. You get adopted by a crazy guy and an old rockstar by the end of the next movie if it's any comfort (probably not but worth a shot).

Also, their apartment is huge!!! How are they affording that when struggling to find and keep gigs???

Lance puntable moments counter: 27

I am once again reminded that the mob canonically exists here and Mike thought cheating them was a good idea?!?

Mike puntable moments counter: 23

The last moments those poor flowers had. RIP.

The dramatic music that appears whenever she does is honestly amazing. And I love how she just seems to despise Buster on principal here.

But the fact that Eddie's grandmother knows Buster? And a fair bit about his life? Eddie has definitely mentioned him and also Buster went to Eddie's graduation!! That's so sweet, you know he was one of those people who make huge posters of their loved ones faces and their degree.

This, my lovely gentlefolk and assorted cryptids, is what a bad idea looks like!

Ok, we have arrived to the failed heist. Now personally, I would have just pretended to be sick so that Buster would have let me go without worrying about the show. That way my role in the show would be safe while I would also be out of debt, win-win. However, that's clearly not what happened here.

I stand with the fact that this could have been easily avoided but I do not solely blame Johnny here. He's a kid. Kids make mistakes all the time. He just made a mistake. Was it a bigger mistake than a lot of people's? Yes, but it was still a mistake. He is not at fault here.

As for the gang, smart move on their part to immediately surrender. That way they lessened their sentence by not resisting arrest. Also, Marcus looks genuinely worried when he realises Johnny is not there, and I completely understand that. He has no idea where his son is and there's police everywhere, he's bound to be panicked.

Rosita is amazing. I love her, she's so sweet.

Ok, genuinely forgot about Gunter and Rosita's fight at the dress rehearsals.

Also, Mike puntable moments counter: 25

Ok, I feel like we missed a part of this conversation. We jump right to Marcus asking where Johnny was and looking pissed. I can almost guarantee that that conversation did not start like that. Marcus and Johnny are shown to be close, despite their communication issues. He's going to be upset, yes, but he's still gonna be worried about his kid. Marcus definitely asked if Johnny was ok or arrested or sick first.

Also, ouch. This scene hurts. The overall message of familiar rejection for you just trying to be yourself, of who you actually are is not good enough? It makes me sob every single time. This is just insanely painful.

(Yes, this is a central part of Johnny's story being queer coded and as someone who had a similar situation happen when I came out, I'm just saying it's very realistic).

Then the stealing bit afterwards being reference for pushing yourself into who others want you to be to feel love? And Johnny choosing even then it's better if he is his actual true self? Amazing, perfection, true cinema.

This is the emptiest grocery store I've ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. Is anyone other than these two there? I'm guessing a cashier but I don't see one.

Also this security dude is an amazing hype man, just cheering and blasting music.

Buster, stop encouraging kids to commit felonies. I know you're on three now but seriously man???

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GAVE THIS GREMLIN A BLOWTORCH?!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY SOCIETY???? Also, Meena and Buster were renovating the theatre at the same time as Johnny was practicing with Mrs. Crawly. I completely forgot they were there at the same time?

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This is taking way longer than I thought but hey, it's time consuming!

Be back in a few (these take a bit to edit sorry)! - <3 Gooseless

[spookytastemakercolor]

PURPLE LIPSTICK~

Gundham Tanaka x GN! Reader

Hello again lovelies!!!! This is as you can see another Gundham post! And yes, same person requested this fluffy fic! It's based off the idea of if you have a partner who wears lipstick and kisses you you get lipstick all over your face, BUUUUTTTTT~~~~~ it's reversed!

Now that the general explanation is done onto the story!!!!!!!!!!!

Warnings: None other than it being pure fluff!

It was like any other day to you, you were sitting in the lobby of the hotel and were talking with everyone around you. Mainly it was Togami talking but you all would say things on occasion! There WAS one thing bothering you thought and everyone could see it plain as day. " Hey (Y/N)? You alright there? You seem a little more pale than you usually are when talking with everyone! "

The voice of the island redhead, Mahiru, broke you from your slight daze and back to everyone around you " Oh. I-It's nothing! I'm just thinking. . . . . " you were thinking, but you were more specifically thinking about your boyfriend who was missing along with Ibuki. You Haven't seen Gundham since 12:00 and you haven't seen Ibuki since your weird run in together.

You were checking in with everyone as you usually do, but in truth you were trying to find gundham.

He hasn't popped up in 19 minutes and you are kinda scared someone decided to go against your truce you made the first day here and kill him in hopes to leave like you all wanted to do. That's when you noticed Ibuki throwing things out of her room trying to find something. You called out in hopes to ask her like you did everyone else.

" Hey Ibuki! Have you seen Gun- " you got cut off as she seemed to panic and hid something behind her back " NOPE! HAVEN'T SEEN HIM! GOODBYE! " she ran away towards another hut, falling over sometimes might I add, while you stood there confused as all hell to what just happened.

That was about 5 hours ago. Looking at the clock you see it's 6, you promised Gundham before he disapeared because of some sort of special surprise he had been planning for over a week that you'd be back by 8. " I have to go guys, Gundham's probably wondering where I am. " Teruteru gave a slight laugh as you said your goodbyes to everyone " Well don't start screaming like you're dying then! We all still need to sleep! "

You turned red while shaking Togami's hand at Teruteru's words, you headed to the door after letting go of his hand (Not before smacking Teruteru on the head and out of his chair. . .) You said your final goodbye before closing the door behind you. It wasn't night yet but you could see where the sun fell and how the moon was peaking out, You embraced yourself and rub your arms from not bringing anything warm to protect you from the breeze " Yup, definitely hurrying there! ". You started to speed-walk towards you and gundham's shared hut to get out of the cold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing the door behind you, you see that the lights are off and the little fireplace Soda built for everyone's seperate hut's was the only thing illuminating the room. It was quite. . . . . . . . . . Way to quite considering Gundham would be greeting you right now. You start looking around for him but don't find him anywhere, you start feeling quite nervous and slightly scared thinking the worst has happened.

You were about to grab a coat and go out to find him until two familiar pale arm's wrap around you and someone lay's their head on your shoulder, you tense up slightly but relax once you hear Gundham's voice. " I thought you would come home late again bunny...... " his voice was sad and his arm's tighten around you, But you know it wasn't him being actually sad! Nonononono, what was in his voice can only be described as DESPERATION. He didn't want you to come home early today, that much you can guess. " I got real worried is all, you dissapeared all day! I thought someone killed you. . . . . " you acted upset but it quickly became a giggling fit as Gundham's hands start to tickle you, hearing him let out a short laugh of his own you try to turn around but his arms kept you facing forward " Come ooonnnnn!!!!! You can't get upset with me when I was setting up your surprise! " He stopped tickling you as you caught your breath, he took your hand still facing away from you and led you to a small love seat near the fireplace

(Back off ya' horny bitches!🤺)

" And what might this surprise entail? " you were naturally curious, he had been hiding it for over a week. Gundham sat down on the seat first still having your hand " Gundham wha-WHOA! " he pulled you down drawing a giggle from you before he started to pepper kisses all over your face. Each one came with it's own ' I love you ' or some sort of praise, you felt like the girls in school when you were younger who always got so excited over the attention from their boyfriend and kisses they'd get. " -heheh! Gundham slow down! Your gonna smuther me! " you tried speaking through your giggle fit but Gundham wasn't letting up

To think this took over a week, he does this whenever on a daily basis anyway! ' Finally Gundham stopped while having a slight smile on his face. You recovered from the onslaught of affection and looking at Gundham you noticed- Wait. Is that-

Purple??????

You looked at Gundham slightly suspicious now " Darling. Why is there purple all over your face? " he started chuckling as you got off his lap and went to a nearby mirror " Surprise! " you heard gundham yell as you looked at your purple covered face in shock. Each mark had the outline of a kiss while some were smudged or overlayed others, looking down you noticed a lipstick stick on the table below recognizing it " Ibuki! "

You picked it up and made your way back to a chuckling gundham before stopping in front of him and crossing your arms " She helped you didn't she? " you were trying to be serious but you were smiling as well, this was both a surprise and sweet. " Y-Yeah....... I know you've been kinda worried lately since the truce and I wanted to give you something as a gift so you wouldn't be as stressed! " sitting back down in his lap you smiled down at him.

" Well Mister! I think I also want to give a gift to you~. " He visibly gulped as you applied the purple lipstick on before smiling mischievously " Now come here! " he yelped as you began to kiss his entire face avoiding his lips, he became putty as you cupped his cheeks before pulling back smiling. He was completely purple now.

Letting out a quick laugh you place a kiss on his lips which makes him go completely limp. " There, now we both got a gift! " you cubbled close to him as he, though still very boneless, wrapped his arms around you as the fire kept you both warm and provided a light for y'all. He rested his head ontop of yours with a dopey smile on his face " Love you bunny~... " his voice was lazy but you smiled pulling yourself closer to him " Love you too Gundham~! ".

With that being said you both closed your eyes enjoying each other's embrace and thinking to yourselves-

' I should try doing it again '

Here we go! I hope you enjoyed this story! Comments are open for anything I need to fix in the story and request page is open for y'all! Byeeeeee!!!!!!

[spurious]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you for the tag, @wonkyelk & @sga-owns-my-soul!

How many works do you have on AO3?

103, a number which recently shot up due to me posting all of my random tumblr ficlets to my AO3 account lmao. Previously it was, like, 70.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

267,356

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's pretty much all SGA all the time over here. I am enjoying dabbling in Genshin when the mood strikes though, love the yuripeans <3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Twenty Questions

Ink and Wings

Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers

Solitary in a Wide Flat Space

Abercrombie & Rodney

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to, at least, though sometimes my responses are painfully delayed. I like hearing what people think about a story, I want them to know their comments are loved and appreciated, and sometimes you end up getting into a discussion like back in the Good Old Days on LJ.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Man I really do not write a ton of stuff that doesn’t end happily /just went through all my fics

Angstiest ending of things I've posted is probably either the Kanjani superheroes AU or the apocalypse akame fic? Has my tolerance for writing lengthy angst lessened with age?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I said above, most of my stuff seems to have relatively happy endings. If I were to pick I might say O I Think We Should Be Brethren, because it takes the longest and hardest journey to the ending, which makes it feel more impactful to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got one "hate" comment on the Kanjani cannibalism fic from someone who thought I was sick and needed therapy, or something to that effect. Otherwise, nope.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I would say my smut wheelhouse is kinky porn with feelings, I guess?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe one or two of my fics in Johnny's fandom were translated into Russian and/or Chinese?

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not to completion!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

how dare you make me choose between my children

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Story I started for a fic exchange in, like, god...2014 or so? In which Yoko kisses Hina, then hits his head and wakes up in a world that's just a shamelessly silly amalgam of J-drama tropes. Sometimes I read through the doc and go "man i wish the author would update"

16. What are your writing strengths?

Sensory description, wanky poetic bullshit, smut, scenes with no more than two people in them, banter-y dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings, complex plots, ensemble casts, scenes with three or more people in them, transitions, being a complete baby about taking criticism, endings, endings

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't see a reason for it? You either need to add a gloss with a translation (if your POV character and audience are intended to understand it), at which point you may as well just write "Screw you, McKay," Zelenka said in Czech; or you want it to be incomprensible to the reader, at which point you may as well just write Zelenka muttered something in Czech as he stomped away. If your reader happens to understand the language you've written in and you're not confident in it, they'll be annoyed by the weird grammar you've gotten from google translating it, and even if you are, you're losing the effect of someone having said something that your POV character shouldn't understand.

......................apparently I have an Opinion on this? who knew.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Cardcaptor Sakura, when I was like 13? I may have posted it on FF.net but if there's a god it's been lost to the sands of time. I do not think it was very good.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Shouldn't be surprising at this point for me to pick O I Think We Should Be Brethren for this, right? I just think it's neat.

Tagging (I've seen this one circulate a fair bit so apologies if you've been multiple-tagged): @audioletter @sparrowsarus @texasdreamer01 @luredin @alienfuckeronmain

[findyourrp]

YOU NEED TO BE 19+ (i’m 23)

my discord is: outatime#3191

looking for an advanced lit/multiple paragraph roleplayer who only does (3rd person) bxb roleplay 1x1 on discord. I do not care what your irl gender is, as long as you roleplay a male character for the sake of the roleplay.

I am currently only looking for long-term role players who are equally as interested in plot and discussion as I am.

For oc's I do not like "anime" or "drawn" photos. Use real people for your faceclaims… but for the love of god, do not use yourself that is just weird.

I favor "historical" roleplays that take place in the 50s/60s because I feel like technology ruins plots. HOWEVER, this does not mean that I won't do a modern rp. I am willing to do modern as well.

I enjoy nsfw themes being included and I will not tolerate "fade to black." It is my personal preference. I want smut. Smut won't be the whole entire plot, but it will be included.

I prefer to be a sub & bottom, but I occasionally get a burst of energy to soft-dom & top every now and then. Therefore, I would classify myself more as a "switch with a preference to sub and bottom.

Nothing is more irritating than being ghosted, I try my best to make sure to include you in all plotting and arrangements because it's not all about me. If you're not liking my ideas, SUGGEST SOMETHING! I will try to incorporate it into whatever we're doing. I love when you have an equal role in our plotting.

HERE ARE SOME PLOTS:

I prefer dark roleplay plots

Plot #1

Muse A is a wounded soldier who gets picked up by the enemy medical crew after he had switched his uniforms. There is a language boundary, but the solider just pretends to be too 'out-of-it' to realize what's going on. The nurse, however, knows the solider is an enemy after finding a dog tag with his true identity.

Plot #2

an unknown monster plunges the world into chaos as a horde of monstrous creatures, known as the Valken, emerge from the depths of darkness. These creatures are twisted and fearsome, seeking to overrun humanity and bring about an apocalypse. I really want my oc to be deaf for this one just because I feel like it would add a drama aspect.

Plot #3

Muse A has been a resident of the local psychiatric hospital for a few years. Because of the nature, they keep to themselves and don't go out of the way to meet people. Muse B (you) is a newly admitted patient to the same hospital. They're loud & aggressive. A, by habit, goes out of their way to avoid B, but B is fascinated by him. B makes it their personal mission to get as close as they possibly can to A. One day B manages to steal a key card and ambushes A in a hallway. Once the two are alone, B is finally able to get forced conversations from Muse A and decides to keep A prisoner for as long as they can without getting caught

Plot #4

Last 2 men on earth in a world of all women. The guys are used for reproductive purposes- but they meet for the first time, after not knowing one another exists, and fall in love instantly. It turns out, they're gay for each other and try to escape!

Plot #5

Small town cop (you) x shop robber (me) *can be a dirty roleplay* .

🐀

outatime#3191

[findroleplay]

YOU NEED TO BE 19+

my discord outatime#3191

looking for an advanced lit/multiple paragraph roleplayer who only does (3rd person) bxb roleplay 1x1 on discord. I do not care what your irl gender is, as long as you roleplay a male character for the sake of the roleplay.

I am currently only looking for long-term role players who are equally as interested in plot and discussion as I am.

For oc's I do not like "anime" or "drawn" photos. Use real people for your faceclaims… but for the love of god, do not use yourself that is just weird.

I favor "historical" roleplays that take place in the 50s/60s because I feel like technology ruins plots. HOWEVER, this does not mean that I won't do a modern rp. I am willing to do modern as well.

I enjoy nsfw themes being included and I will not tolerate "fade to black." It is my personal preference. I want smut. Smut won't be the whole entire plot, but it will be included.

I prefer to be a sub & bottom, but I occasionally get a burst of energy to soft-dom & top every now and then. Therefore, I would classify myself more as a "switch with a preference to sub and bottom."

Nothing is more irritating than being ghosted, I try my best to make sure to include you in all plotting and arrangements because it's not all about me. If you're not liking my ideas, SUGGEST SOMETHING! I will try to incorporate it into whatever we're doing. I love when you have an equal role in our plotting.

HERE ARE SOME PLOTS:

I prefer dark roleplay plots

Plot #1

Muse A is a wounded soldier who gets picked up by the enemy medical crew after he had switched his uniforms. There is a language boundary, but the solider just pretends to be too 'out-of-it' to realize what's going on. The nurse, however, knows the solider is an enemy after finding a dog tag with his true identity.

Plot #2

an unknown monster plunges the world into chaos as a horde of monstrous creatures, known as the Valken, emerge from the depths of darkness. These creatures are twisted and fearsome, seeking to overrun humanity and bring about an apocalypse. I really want my oc to be deaf for this one just because I feel like it would add a drama aspect.

Plot #3

Muse A has been a resident of the local psychiatric hospital for a few years. Because of the nature, they keep to themselves and don't go out of the way to meet people. Muse B (you) is a newly admitted patient to the same hospital. They're loud & aggressive. A, by habit, goes out of their way to avoid B, but B is fascinated by him. B makes it their personal mission to get as close as they possibly can to A. One day B manages to steal a key card and ambushes A in a hallway. Once the two are alone, B is finally able to get forced conversations from Muse A and decides to keep A prisoner for as long as they can without getting caught

Plot #4

Last 2 men on earth in a world of all women. The guys are used for reproductive purposes- but they meet for the first time, after not knowing one another exists, and fall in love instantly. It turns out, they're gay for each other and try to escape!

Plot #5

Small town cop (you) x shop robber (me) *can be a dirty roleplay* .

-

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

[aoitrinity]

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it. 

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in. 

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length. 

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages. 

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money. 

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments. 

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve. 

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project