#(which means i did worse than the other list where i got 37)

[vacantgodling]

#24: Miki Kaganoff

There are some secrets that can be kept but shouldn’t, but alas, you’d hoped this one you’d keep forever. You can’t lose them because of this secret, so you follow them even when they don’t want you there. With everything you have you grovel and plead to make amends, but whenever you look in the mirror it’s hard to feel sorry. You repent because you knew it was wrong, and you should, but do you regret what you did? They see right through you, and perhaps that’s why they haven’t forgiven you yet.

“miki” means princess of fruit. “kaganoff” means descended from the oracle, however kaganoff is the name she took when she married her husband jace.

37, cis female (she/her), romance: yes, sex: YES, preference: masculine

a petite woman, standing at only 4’11”, with bright red eyes the same color as strawberries. despite her small stature she is quite well endowed with a pear shaped figure, developed mostly after she gave birth to her son. her hair is a vibrant and curly light pink. she is extremely flexible, able to bend herself into all manners of poses and shapes, and she’s highly athletic, able to do handsprings and twists in midair. her smile is contagious and dimpled.

while she has no formal training, miki is listed as a BARD in the AGoE and took the exam as such when she entered the guilds. she doesn’t carry anything on her more deadly than a dagger. her other instruments are her neck-worn drums (meaning, they’re connected to a chord that hangs around her neck) and her tambourines, which are usually attached to her hips. she is no master of cantatio, but of a looser form of vis that somewhat falls into that camp; using her rhythms and songs to bolster her team’s energy, attack power, and so on. strong drumbeats and rhythms such as hers are a specialty from she and jace’s home city of kiskkaddon. 

one of the most telling aspects of miki is that she knows how to read a room; she is easily able to turn a dour crowd into a lively one with her expressive drum playing and homely, melodic singing voice. she thrives in crowds and hates to be alone and lives to please others. however, it is this desire to please that lead to the current predicament that she is in: she, jace, and jace’s best friend (who i have yet to name whoops), all grew up together among the desert dunes of kiskkaddon and were thicker than thieves. miki and jace warmed up to each other enough to be wed, but this left jace’s friend feeling a bit put out and wanting. after one night, he simply couldn’t bear it and poured his heart out to miki and the two ended up sleeping together, the result of this forming a child. miki swore the friend to secrecy, however, jace is no fool and things fell apart quickly when he confirmed his suspicions, resulting in a disaster that almost got the father of her child vivo killed. despite this, miki cannot help how terribly she feels for hurting jace (even if some part of her isn’t quite sorry), so despite his warnings, she secretly follows him to the guilds to try and apologize and make it up to him. things only go from sour to worse when they are both chosen by the AGoE and put into the same unit together. the tension between the two of them bleeds into near every aspect of her life, but she tries to be cheerful and tries so hard to get jace to understand her. so far, it hasn’t been working.

3 fun facts about them: miki’s singing voice is deep and earthy; whenever her vis does dip into the small amount of cantatio that she can perform, her magic always tends to center around manipulating rocks and plants. her canines are quite sharp and almost appear to be fangs. she can drink nearly anyone under the table and her stomach in general is just as bottomless. where all this food goes is anyone’s guess.

[mindbat]

Books Read in 2023

(yes, this is an extremely late post. it’s been an, um, eventful winter for me)

Apparently I read 37 (!) books last year 😳 That’s a little less than 2022 (45), but still nearly one a week. Goodness.

Anyway, if you’re looking to pick up something new, I thought I’d list them all out, grouped roughly by vibe and in order read.

Books to Get You Through a Breakup

Because yeah, it’s hard.

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz: One of the first books recommended by my therapist. I was skeptical going in, but I’ve found its techniques to be incredibly helpful over the last year.

Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas: Veers awfully close to the cult of achievement (“If you do your divorce just right, you’ll get a gold star!”), but still a useful set of tools for how to limit the damage when your life blows up.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce by Dawn Dais: Exactly the kind of cathartic, laugh-out-loud guide to the aftermath that I needed, particularly after having read the previous book.

The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood: An amazing novel, and a good reminder that men are bastards, and some women are, too.

Books to Put You to Sleep

Sometimes you read before bed for a reason.

The Great Sea by David Abulafia: I swear, I wanted to like this one. Really! I usually love this kind of big scope history. But ye gods is this one dull. Just…could…not…stay…awake.

Books I Don’t Remember

I think both of these were good? But for the life of me I can’t tell you which one is which, or what I learned. Probably says more about me than the books, though.

The Invention of Russia by Arkady Ostrovsky: I think this is a blow-by-blow tale of how the media in Russia changed from the latter Soviet years to the early years of Putin. If it’s the book I’m thinking of, it’s very much an insider’s view, that made me feel both the hope of the early years after the fall of the Soviet Union and the disillusionment that set in afterward.

The Age of Illusions by Andrew J. Bacevich: As Gandalf once said, “I have no memory of this place.”

Books to Radicalize You

In the best way, I mean. A radical for making things better, because you can see how we got to where we are now.

Capital in the 21st Century by Thomas Piketty: Took me a while to get to this one, and I’m sorry I held off on it for so long. A well-researched, readable account of the long-term (200 years!) trends in modern economies, that explains both how things were so different (and good!) in the years just after World War II, and how things have reverted to the mean (which means worse) since then.

Capitalism, Alone by Branko Milanovic: A fascinating thesis about the role of communism in the development of what used to be called the Third World, wrapped in a large work that is completely in thrall to debunked theories of classical economics.

The Great Transformation by Karl Polanyi: This book, combined with Piketty’s, completely flipped my understanding of the last few hundred years of economic history. Completely demolishes the idea of the “market” as something separate from society, and demonstrates how the pursuit of the impossible dream of a “free market” has resulted in so much destruction and misery.

Books to Catch You Up with The Atlantic

No tea, no shade, but these books are, let’s say, more pop, less substance?

So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed byJon Ronson: I like to believe that Ronson is coming from a good place here, trying to put a human face on public figures that have gone through a very public shaming on social media. Which is a laudable goal! We should all keep in mind that what’s on the other end of the “Post” button is a human being. But I did some digging on his profiles, and he turns out to have left out a lot of the most damning parts. So, definitely a skewed view.

Twilight of Democracy by Anne Applebaum: An extremely serious subject, a serious (and good) writer. And yet. A slight book that left little impression on me.

Books to Ruin Your Friend’s Gladiator Viewing Party

Because how are you going to be that jerk if you haven’t done your research?

The Inheritance of Rome by Chris Wickham: Incredibly readable account of the six hundred years following the fall of the Western Empire. This was a re-read for me, and it’s even better than I remembered.

Mortal Republic by Edward J Watts: Picked this up after hearing Watts on the excellent podcast “Subject to Change.” An excellent account of how the (very much not inevitable) choices of Rome’s elites led to the end of the Republic.

Thebes by Paul Cartledge: True, this is about Ancient Greece, not Rome, but bear with me. At least, bear with me long enough to warn you off of this book. It’s readable, it’s written by an expert, but for me it never really gelled into a coherent picture of Theban society.

Books to Fight the Patriarchy

Because patriarchy is a trap, my friends, for all genders.

Trojan Horses by Page DuBois: Fantastic explanation of how so many of the ways ancient societies are presented are based on flawed, racist, assumptions.

The Once and Future Sex by Eleanor Janega: Accessible and short corrective on some of the many (many!) myths we moderns hold about gender in medieval society.

Femina by Janina Ramirez: More medieval history, this time bringing to life the stories of women — warriors, rulers, saints — who shaped the Middle Ages in Europe.

Books to Get Lost In

Sometimes you just need a good story to dive into and not come up for a few days, yeah?

Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan: Fantastic world-building, a passionate and ass-kicking heroine, with a story that puts the fate of several heavenly kingdoms on the line. Looking forward to the sequel.

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix: Scarfed this down in a single day’s binge read. Warning: Puppets.

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes: A classic I re-read for a book club. Still hits me right in the feels, but, um, beware the very-60s treatment of its female characters.

Roadside Picnic by the Strugatsky Brothers: Classic Soviet-era sci-fi. VanderMeer’s Southern Reach series is basically a re-telling of this book. In my opinion, the original (this one) is better.

The Searcher by Tara French: Every novel I read by French leaves me wrung out and gut-punched, in the best way.

Middlemarch by George Elliot: This might become a yearly read for me.

Station Eternity by Mur Lafferty: The first of a new series by the mighty Mur. It’s a noir murder mystery set on a sentient alien space station, need I say more?

The City & The City by China Miéville: Wow. Felt like an allegory for Israel/Palestine, Europe/Africa, and the latter stages of the Cold War, all wrapped in a paranoid thriller where archeology plays a starring role. Not sure anyone but Miéville could pull this off (but he does).

Books to Rediscover Your Inner Hippie

In these days of shifting climates and ecological loss, there’s never been a better time to reconnect with the natural world (so we can save it).

The Arbornaut - Meg Lowman: Fascinating recount of a career spent literally in the trees, to explore the top of the forest (an area which is still not fully understood). Made me look up more, past the trunk of the trees around here, to their crowns.

Finding the Mother Tree - Suzanne Simard: Another career retrospective from a top-class scientist (who happens to be local to my neck of the woods). I loved the descriptions of her research, and her findings (about how linked up the trees in a forest are, how interdependent) changed the way I see anything that grows.

Books to Help You Understand Others

Because sometimes the only thing you need to stop arguing with someone is to see things from their perspective.

The Nineties by Chuck Klosterman: As I move through my fourth decade of life, I find myself interested in learning more about what was happening in the larger world while I was growing up. I was hoping for both a memory boost and a larger viewpoint on the decade. I definitely got the memory boost, but the larger viewpoint was lacking.

High Conflict - Amanda Ripley: Got this because I was in a high conflict situation with a co-worker, and hoped it would help with that. Book turned out to be a bit deeper than I expected based on its business-suit packaging; actually shed some light on how society in the US (and other places) has split since 2016, and how such conflicts can become self-sustaining, long past when the initial grievance occurred. Well worth the read.

Tribe - Sebastian Junger: I picked this up thinking it would be “just” a look at soldiers and PTSD, but it turned out to be much more. An interesting study in how humans in groups react under extreme stress, from Londoners during the Blitz to trapped miners as well as soldiers returning home after war. One of those I’m going to have to re-read, I think, to fully absorb everything in it.

Books to Pass a Lazy Afternoon With

Curl up with one of these (and a blanket and some tea) on a rainy day.

Danubia - Simon Winder: The second of Winder’s three books on middle European history, which I read out of order. Rambling in the best way. I retain almost nothing of the history of the period or the region after reading this, but I was never bored, either, and he doesn’t shy away from the problematic history he has to cover.

Germania - Simon Winder: The first book of Winder’s series, and the most apologetic of the bunch. He seems compelled to apologize, both for being bold enough to write a narrative history at all, and then to write about Germany (which his generation, and mine, were raised to see as inherently suspect). Once past the throat-clearing, though, we’re off to the same rambling (but entertaining) stories as the other two books.

Books to Make You Want to Write More

If you need that kind of motivation, that is.

The War of Art - Steven Pressfield: If you’ve ever wanted a drill sergeant to yell at you about your writing, this is the book for you. If you get turned off by such gung-ho chest-beating approaches, this is not the motivational book you want.

Books I Couldn’t Fit Anywhere Else

Not everything fits neatly into a category.

The Medieval Archer - Jim Bradbury: A bit dry, but still an interesting counter to several myths about archery as represented in popular media. Not least of which is that women weren’t hunters; not enough books print medieval illustrations of women hunting with bows, but this one does!

The Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe: Okay, so I picked this one up because I read The Devil’s Candy, which is the (fascinating) story of how making the movie version of this went completely off the rails. After reading that take, I watched the movie (which is indeed a hot mess) and decided to read the book. Which I bounced off of, several times, before deciding to force myself to finish it. It’s, um, a very 80s thing, which is both the best and the worst thing I can say about it. I can’t really recommend it, though it was better than the movie, I suppose.

How to Astronaut - Terry Virts: Exactly what it says on the tin. Runs through Virts’ recruitment, training, and experiences as an astronaut over the last few decades of space flight. Virts sometimes reads like a high school jock made good (which is a trigger for me personally), but his love for his work and his pride in his part in advancing our understanding of the environment of space shines through.

[stxleslyds]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.

[joezworld]

Fools in Love (8/10)

Double Date, Quadruple Header

1980

"And the last item on the agenda..." said the inspector as he assigned locomotives to trains. "There is a series of special trains going to Suddery from the mainland on this coming Sunday. 46 040, you and 35 102 will take the morning arrivals, and more engines will be assigned at a later time."

"Wow," said Delta with a healthy dose of sarcasm and faux cheer - she didn’t like this inspector and his clear bias towards steam engines. A special train from him could easily be carrying garbage. "A special! Is it a special special, or is it a really special special?"

"I hope it's a special special special, with special carriages." Bear said with equal sarcasm. "Then everything will be specially special!"

"Special has ceased to be a real word now." Duck said in a small voice while the inspector glared over the top of his spectacles.

"You will find out on Sunday." He said firmly. "Now get to work."

Bear and Delta arrived at Barrow on the front of separate trains - the Limited and the Express, to find the yard in disarray.

A seething Class 08 was shuttling back and forth while the trucks laughed at him. Bear, who had arrived second, watched as Delta didn't even try to help, and instead was mocking the 08 as he hurled insults at her, the trucks and the coaches.

This didn’t make the shunter any happier, and he began bumping and banging coaches until a particularly bold rake of third class carriages slipped their brakes on and refused to move an inch, trapping the disagreeable shunter deep inside a siding.

To make matters worse, none of the cars for the "incredibly special specials" had arrived yet. The trains were late arriving in Barrow, and the Yard Master was tearing out what little of his hair remained.

Noon arrived, and so did Edward, bringing a train of ballast wagons from Arlesburgh. "Oliver failed." He gasped, not having been remotely ready for a cross-island jaunt on a heavy train. "So this missed Bear's goods and- oh, hello Bear."

Bear grimaced. "There hasn't been a goods train yet - I'm still waiting on my special."

"Oh." Edward paled. "Well that would explain why BoCo was so frantic."

Bear and Delta winced. If a freight train was canceled it was usually folded into the next pick-up goods; BoCo was probably having to flat-shunt a quarter mile long train at each station, the poor engine.

After having a drink, Edward was drafted into helping out in the yard, and was soon sorting out the mess, although he did leave the 08 in the yards until last - the third class coaches had some choice words for him, and they were not brief!

At this point, BoCo finally arrived, or rather, his train did - Toad the brakevan was on the leading end, while a plume of steam wafted into the air from near the back.

"Mister BoCo had engine troubles." Toad explained. "So we left him at the works and Mister Henry had to push. His passengers aren’t pleased about that!"

They weren't. As Edward and the 08 sorted the massive train, the passengers swarmed out of the coaches, unsure of who to be upset at but hopping mad nonetheless.

"We've surely missed our connection!" They shouted at the stationmaster, who wrung his hands before telling them that the connection hadn't even arrived yet!

"There’s been a signal failure further up the line, " he said nervously. "So no train has been able to get through."

Strangely, this didn’t make the passengers any calmer, and Henry was forced to retreat to the sheds to escape their ire.

"Well, I suppose that this day can only get worse..." he muttered darkly as he looked out onto the empty BR line leading inland.

"What makes you say that?" Delta asked, not particularly upset that her "special" was late.

"The concert will be delayed!" Henry cried. "And I was rather looking forward to it - it isn't every day that you get to be tour support for Led Zeppelin!"

"What?" Bear was shocked. "Led Zeppelin is coming to Sodor?"

"Yes," Henry explained. "They're going to the Suddery fairgrounds. They did a show in Germany a few days ago, and they're coming here by train. I’m taking them."

"Really? The Suddery fairgrounds?" Edward asked as he shunted the last of the coaches into place. "But there's barely a gazebo there. How will they perform? It's all muddy!"

"I don't know how they plan on doing it, but my driver is certainly quite eager." Henry looked over at his driver, who was wearing an old band t-shirt over his normal work clothes.

"Make fun all you want, but I will get an autograph!" He yelled at Henry, who rolled his eyes.

"He's been like that all day."

---------

Several hours later, and the special trains still hadn't made an appearance. The stationmaster had attempted to quell the now-riotous passengers by showing a list of delayed trains to them, which did nothing but scare away Edward, who took one look at the large list of delayed goods trains and realized that the lazy 08 would try and make him shunt all of them. When nobody was looking, his crew connected him to an empty stock train and left for Peel Godred, leaving the 08 to have to work for a change.

And not a moment too soon. Edward has just barely disappeared into the distance when the BR home signal dropped, and a pair of furious Class 37s roared into the yard. Too angry for words or help, they banged and slammed their train into a siding by themselves, growled at the 08 as he brought their next train up, and seethed into the distance as fast as their wheels would carry them.

"That was ominous..." Henry said as the home signal dropped again to allow the next train into the yard.

It was... For the next 45 minutes, the yard was practically besieged by train after angry BR train - some over 4 hours late - who raced into the yard, dropped their wagons or disembarked their passengers, picked up new ones, and raced away again. The poor 08 was losing his mind as goods wagons built up around him. The three Sudrians couldn't even help - their shed was on the opposite side of the main line from the yard, and there was no time in between trains for them to wade into the fray and assist. Eventually, as a harried looking DMU rattled across the bridge to Sodor on a through train to Norramby, Bear and Delta were allowed across the main line to pick up their specials from the yard.

Bear had been given a short line of funny-looking vans, while Delta had a longer string of flatcars carrying lumpy shapes covered in tarpaulins.

Problems emerged before they were even coupled up.

"These hoses don't fit." Said one of the men as he tried to connect the brake pipes on Bear's wagons.

Several more attempts were made before the problem was found: the vans were from Germany, and used air brakes, while the two diesels used British vacuum brakes. Neither system was compatible with the other, which meant that this train would have to go without brakes.

An inspection of Delta's wagons revealed that they were also German, and had similar brake lines.

-

"How are there two separate trains from Germany?" Delta asked. "Why didn't they keep them together when they got off the ferry?"

"Ve took two different ferries." Snapped the lead flatcar. "Und ve vere suppozed to be hier three hourz ago!"

-

Hauling an unbraked train was not a huge issue - it merely required more care and a brake van - but a much bigger issue arose when a search for brake vans found only Toad.

"Well that’s torn it," Bear said. "We can't share a brakevan unless we double head our train, and I don’t know where we're even going with these."

"Actually, Mister Bear," Toad interjected as the yardmaster frantically flipped through his train orders to see if the situation could be salvaged. "If you are double-heading two normal length trains, you would need two brake vans then, to counter-act the increased weight. Standard practices." He paused to inspect the train.

"And that's enough wagons that I would recommend a second van and a second engine in the name of safety."

The yardmaster cursed and threw his clipboard to the ground - all of these special trains were going to the same station and he still didn’t have enough vans!?

"Toad, does it have to be brakevans?" Henry called from the platform. His special train had arrived on the back of the most recent passenger train, and unlike the other specials, it was fully braked. "Could we just put it on the back of my train?"

Toad inspected the train - three Pullman carriages and a baggage car. "It's very unusual Mister Henry, but it should just work!"

-

The unusual cavalcade was quickly assembled - Henry and his coaches, then Bear, his wagons, Delta's wagons, Delta herself, and then Toad. This ensured that the unbraked wagons wouldn't slam together and cause trouble, while also providing enough braking power for the entire train.

The unusual makeup of the train attracted the attention of its passengers as well, and the members of Led Zeppelin came out to look at what was going on.

"You know that Rod is going to lose it when he hears about this?" One of them remarked.

"Oh yeah he will. That paint's not prototypical, oh no!" Another man with long blond hair said mockingly as he snapped pictures of Delta and Toad.

"Hey!" Said Delta. "My paint looks amazing!"

The rocker held his hands up. "I mean no disrespect, it's just that one of our friends is into really accurate model trains, and he's going to flip when he sees these pictures!"

"Oh," Delta blushed a little. "Well make sure to get my good side, which is all of my sides!"

The man laughed as he went down the platform to get more pictures.

"Excuse me, Mister Plant?" Toad asked as he came near. "Will you be performing Stairway at tonight's show?"

Robert Plant blinked. "Why yes we are! Are you a fan?" He asked the brake van.

"A little bit sir."

"Well I'll be! We have fans everywhere!"

---

Eventually, the strange train rumbled out of Barrow yard and across the bridge into Sodor.

It was slow going - they were using the path cleared for Henry's train, and it had been timetabled for a much faster speed than the unbraked wagons were allowed to travel at.

By the time they had arrived at Kildane, they were running quite behind even the most generous schedule, and had to wait for other trains to pass.

The electric branch had just received new electric locomotives, but they were nowhere to be seen. Edward was there however, sitting in the yard with a dazed look on his face.

"They're very chatty." He said, sounding quite overwhelmed.

After waiting at the station for about ten minutes, the station master came out and spoke to Henry's driver.

"We need this train taken to Suddery." he said, pointing to a line of ten wagons loaded with aluminum.

"You do know this is a special, right?" Henry’s driver protested. "We can't stop to pick up more cars at every station! Have Edward do it!"

"He can't. Whatever foul-up the mainland is doing has thrown off the schedule for the entire region. There isn't another path until nightfall.” He paused. “You'd probably need to take Edward with you as well, considering that he needs to be in Wellsworth by four."

The stationmaster had phrased this like a request, but it was actually a demand, and so the unusual train got even longer, with Edward and the (thankfully braked) wagons now in front of Henry. On the platform, the members of Led Zeppelin were taking a huge number of photographs, and one - Henry thought his driver had said his name was Jimmy - was at a payphone on the platform, describing the train to a friend. From the sounds of it, the friend was very displeased at the amount of work it would take to recreate this scene on his model railway.

-

After leaving Kildane, there were mercifully no more stops until Wellsworth, where Edward was uncoupled from the train.

Henry quickly realized that there was a problem as he tried to move the train out of the yard. "I can't see anything!" He called back to his driver.

It was true. The wagons stretched so far in front of Henry that it made seeing the rails ahead almost impossible.

Considering that all the aluminum wagons and the Pullman coaches were vacuum braked, it was decided to uncouple Henry and put him in front of the wagons.

This plan was working well, until:

"The coupling is stuck!" Shouted Sean the driver from between Henry and the lead coach.

The coupling links had jammed together at some point, and it would take heavy tools to separate them - heavy tools that weren't on hand, and more importantly, would have broken the links on the chain, meaning that they wouldn’t be able to couple the train back up again!

To make matters worse, neither of the diesels could be attached, as the station at Wellsworth had a single track leading onto the branch from the main line, with the yard beyond it. There was no way for either diesel to reach the front of the train.

Henry, having accepted that this day was going to be one of the longest ones in his life, sighed. "Am I just going to have to go very slow then? Will Led Zeppelin still be popular by the time we get to Suddery?"

"Very funny." His driver said as he tried to think of another way. "We can't even do that - we'd end up delaying Edward's commuter train, and that's about the only thing that hasn't been late tod-"

He was cut off as James clattered into the yard tender-first. "Those menaces at the docks blocked the turntable!" He growled as he was uncoupled from a rake of China Clay wagons, leaving little doubt as to the identity of the menaces.

"Good to see you too James." Henry chuckled at his friend's distress.

"Gah! Henry? What are you doing here!" James yelped. He hadn’t seen Henry.

"Oh you know, just being incredibly late."

"Well don't let me stop you, Old Square Wheels."

"Oh you won't be a bother," Henry said as an idea flew into his smokebox. "Actually, you might be able to help us..."

-

James had no idea who Led Zeppelin was, and quite frankly didn't care, but once Delta shouted at him to show a wheel, he quickly agreed to pilot the train, and they were soon underway.

Suddery fairgrounds had its own sidings and platforms, used for when the annual livestock show takes place, and the train was unloaded in short order. James quickly shunted the aluminum wagons to the goods depot, and then he, Toad and the other engines watched as the lumps under the tarpaulins were revealed to be parts of a massive stage that was rapidly assembled by men who came pouring out of the coaches. Then massive speakers were pulled out of the enclosed wagons, while a number of wheeled cases were removed from the baggage car.

The band, feeling somewhat superfluous, waited near the engines. Bear and Henry felt bad that they weren't bigger Led Zeppelin fans, but were comforted in the fact that they at least knew something about the band, unlike some engines they knew.

Toad, meanwhile, had proved that he was a blatant liar - there was nothing 'little' about his fan status, and he knew more about some songs than the band themselves!

-

Eventually, the stage was built, and the band retreated from the platform to go do a sound test.

The stage was quite close to the platforms, and nobody had been allowed into the venue yet, meaning that:

"Do you lot have any requests?" Shouted Robert Plant over the speaker system.

"IMMIGRANT SONG!" Toad roared before any of the engines could even open their mouths.

-

Night fell over the fairground, and Bear was thankful that none of them were needed for other duties - the fairground was charged with an almost electric atmosphere, and it felt like something special was going to happen.

He looked to Henry at his right, and James and Delta at his left, and realized something else.

"I think," He said slowly. "That this is technically our first date."

"You're right." Henry said with shock. "It's taken us three years, but you're right."

"And ours too..." said Delta quietly. "Jamie, isn't that great? We managed to go on a date!"

James blinked slowly. "Yes we did. And it's a double date at that. By accident no less. We certainly don't do things by half measures!"

He grinned. "If this concert is half as good as that last song, it might be the best first date ever."

"Oh it will be Mister James!" Shouted Toad, who was choosing to ignore whatever the engines were talking about in favor of watching the band tune their instruments.

-

The concert began shortly after 9:30, only slightly behind its posted start time.

The band came out to thunderous applause, and Jimmy Page made the introductions to the audience.

"I just want to thank you all for coming out here tonight - back in 1972, we said that we'd come out here and do a show during our last tour of the United Kingdom, but things happened, and we never made it out here. We said we'd come back, and we never go back on our promises! Even if it takes eight years!"

He paused as the audience applauded once again. "And I also want to give a special thanks to some of our audience tonight. We almost didn't make it here tonight because of some trouble with the train, but those engines back there," he pointed to Henry, Bear, Delta, and James. "Worked like mad to get us here safely and on time, so this first song is dedicated to you!"

The band immediately began playing a hard and heavy rock song. It was an incredibly powerful piece, and the engines looked at each other with glee - this was going to be a hell of a night.

-

Later

As Since I've Been Loving You echoed over the fairgrounds, James quietly whispered to Bear.

"Is this what it feels like for you?"

Bear looked over at James. Even while he directly speaking to another engine, his eyes were glued to Delta, who was enraptured by the music.

"Yes." Bear whispered back. He knew what James meant.

-

The end of the concert was approaching - or so the engines hoped, considering it was almost midnight. Kashmir had taken quite a long time, and while Toad may have been having the time of his life, the engines were feeling the late hour a bit more.

"And this song I want to dedicate - dedicate to a little brake van out there in the train yard," Robert Plant said into the microphone. "Cause he asked for it by name, which means that we've officially got fans everywhere!"

A very recognizable guitar riff began while Toad squeaked in delight.

Henry and Bear looked at each other, and then looked over at James and Delta.  The night could go on for a little bit longer - it wasn’t often you got to see someone hear Stairway to Heaven for the first time. 

[saltlampsasuke]

Unfortunately, You Are Experiencing Symptoms of Falling in Love: Part 5

Having your long-term boyfriend cheat on you is pretty bad, but you're lucky enough to have a rich, pro-hero best friend who lets you move in with him until you get a new apartment. Except lockdown happens. And you can't look for a new apartment anymore, and you can't go anywhere anymore, and neither can your best friend, and you think you might be falling a little bit in love with him. Or maybe you've been in love with him all along.

The story of how it takes a nationwide lockdown for you and Bakugou Katsuki to finally get together, part 5!

warnings: Coronavirus mentions

wordcount: 1,936

taglist: @stargazerunlimited @luna-bloodrose​ @lov4kbg

So I am so so sorry for how long I took to update this, I don't really have a good excuse or explanation so I'll just once again say how sorry I am. But in good news, the plot setup is FINALLY over and now we can get to that good fluffy stuff! So thank you for bearing with me and please enjoy!

One morning, you woke up and saw that it had been two weeks since you moved in with Katsuki. You were a little surprised to realize how much time had passed without you noticing, and how easily you had integrated yourself into Katsuki’s life. Or rather, how much he had forced you to adapt to his ways of living. Not that you were complaining. You had been eating fantastically ever since you moved in, though Katsuki would refuse any thanks, and would often outright deny that he had made the food for you. And the apartment complex took care of your laundry for you, and you never really had to clean much either. It was almost like you were on vacation.

A typical morning for you would follow along these lines:

1) You wake up to the sound of Katsuki’s blender and your breakfast is waiting on the counter

2) You enjoy said breakfast and Katsuki says that he “doesn’t know why it’s there, now shut up and eat or you’ll be late for work”

3) You finish eating and get ready for work, which involves darting in and out of Katsuki’s bathroom, which causes you to bump into him with embarrassing frequency. Nothing terrible has happened yet, and you always knock and wait, but there’s always some part of you curious worried to catch him in a state of undress.

4) Katsuki gets fed up with your constant presence in his room and kicks you out so he can get ready (sometimes he will threaten to kick you out of his entire apartment, though you know he never means it)

5) You finish getting ready in your room and wait by the door for Katsuki to drive you to work

6) Katsuki stops by your favorite coffee shop, which now always has your order ready and waiting (who could have made that happen, I wonder)

7) You and Katsuki would have an argument over who would pay for your coffee (spoiler alert: it was never you who paid)

8) Katsuki would drop you off at work and demand you tell him when you need to be picked up, and no matter how much you tried to evade him he always was there once you walked out the door.

It was kind of embarrassing to admit, but the longer you spent living with Katsuki the happier you felt, and the more regret you felt as well for having let yourself become so sad and complacent with Takumi without even noticing. But you also had to pat yourself on the back for growing and moving past him. You rarely even thought about your ex now, and though part of you wondered what his reaction had been when he returned to a much emptier apartment, you didn’t have any time to think about him. You were too busy, between dealing with Bakugou at home and the destruction he wreaked on his gear in the field (as well as a special surprise you were cooking up for him as thanks), and you didn’t want to waste any mental space on such a waste of a man either.

Living with Katsuki was also so much nicer than living with Takumi had been. You two now had regular movie nights, would eat lunch together on the weekends, and sometimes, if he was tired enough from patrols, you could convince Katsuki to go swimming with you at night. The wide windows would let in the soft light from the moon and you could just relax. You felt so relaxed, all the time now. You felt safe. Of course, as soon as you had finally gotten truly settled and were ready to start looking for apartments again, not wanting to bother Katsuki for any longer than you already had, your life was once again upended in a way you could never have expected.

The first few things you heard about the virus came from the very man you roomed with. As a high-level pro hero, it was his job to be aware of threats to the citizens he protected, and while there wasn’t a way for him to blast a virus to bits, he still tried to stay informed. And of course, as a pro hero, he also had access to information from upper levels of government, and so he would always know about big developments before you. Still, initially, he didn’t seem worried. The only way you could tell that something was wrong was how he began to grow skittish at the idea of you moving out. Of course, that could have been for other reasons as well, but you were certain it was because of the virus.

To tell the truth, as days passed, you were also starting to worry about moving out. Getting a new roommate, or even a new apartment, could potentially be risky. You wouldn’t know the area, and you would be stuck with either a smaller, less nice apartment, or roommates, because you weren’t about to spend half of your paychecks on rent. And the situation was devolving quickly. To be honest, you would also miss having a in-house personal chef, even if he did yell at you.

Making matters even worse, the housing market seemed to have dried up completely. All the apartment listings you saw had something wrong with them; if you didn’t see the problem at first Katsuki would, and he wouldn’t hesitate to point it out. Dangerous neighborhoods, records of noise complaints, general ambiance, the minute you saw a halfway decent listing he would search it up and report back to you on why it wouldn’t work. Not to mention that all of the places that managed to pass his scrutiny were way out of your budget range.

He was just looking out for you, or as he put it “making sure he didn’t have to go to the trouble of moving your dumb ass back into his apartment again after your new places backfires”. And he was right every time about the problems. You were thankful he was taking the trouble, because otherwise you might have ended up in a real dump. But the days without a new place slowly grew in number. As did the number of cases. You knew both things were an issue. But you simply didn’t realize how much of an issue they would become until it was too late for you to do anything.

The morning you realized that your life was about to get even more different than it already had was the morning you didn’t wake up to the jarring screech of your best friend/temporary roommate’s deluxe blender, but rather to the smell of French toast. This wouldn’t by itself be light years past normal, but a quick look at your phone informed you that it was 9:37 on a Thursday morning. You slowly pulled yourself out of bed, confused. Katsuki would never let you sleep in like this unless it was some special occasion, and even then he would probably have woken you up eventually, calling you lazy to boot. As your brain began to wake from its fog, you headed towards your bedroom door. Katsuki was in the kitchen, you knew he had to be since you smelled him cooking, but nothing else about him seemed normal. He wasn’t in his sleeping clothes, but rather the kind of outfit he reserved for press conferences and major meetings, but the jacket was tossed on the floor and the clothes were rumpled like he had been doing hard work. His hair had lost it’s trademark spikes, flopping forward into his eyes, and he wasn’t doing anything about it. Worst of all was when you finally saw his face. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept the entire night. Come to think of it, considering how he looked, he probably hadn’t.

“Are you alright?” you said as he met your eyes. As he moved, you could see the exhaustion in his body, and you pulled him over to the couch, forcing him to sit down. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Let me make the damn breakfast, princess,” he grumbled from his seat, yet not moving.

“Breakfast can wait,” you replied as you turned off the burner. There was no way you could eat anything right now, not before you learned what was going on. “So talk.” Katsuki sighed heavily.

“Shit, where do I even start?” He ran his hands through his hair, causing it to lose even more of its shape. “I got a call last night around 8. Said it was an emergency meeting. I put on the fucking serious suit and everything, that’s how bad it sounded. Thought they were maybe gonna tell me that One for All had escaped or something. But this was… something else.” You held your breath as he explained. It was rare for him to be this serious, not exhibiting any emotion except determination. This was his battle face. You just had to wait for him to tell you what he would be fighting.

“I know you’ve heard about the virus that’s been going around, but it’s gotten real bad, princess. Turns out some higher-ups were downplaying it, thought it was maybe some weird quirk that they could shut down or something, but it’s not. We’ve got a real disease on our hands, and nobody can stop it. It’s gonna go global.” You blinked rapidly, trying to grasp the magnitude of what he was saying.

“Ok, but there has to be some quirk or something that can stop it, right? We can fix this?” you asked nervously. Katsuki shook his head.

“Hold on, princess. I’m getting there. We all talked about it. Everyone was there. All the big heroes, all the heads of whatever departments, anyone you can think of whose job it is to take care of the public. And there’s nobody. Healing quirks are rare as is, and with the way the virus has been spreading, no one quirk would be enough.”

“So what do we do then?” Katsuki placed a hand on your knee in an attempt to comfort you.

“Bet you’re wondering why I look like shit.” You nodded slightly. “We were out all night coming up with a strategy. We’re gonna get all our science guys on this, use whatever quirks we have to study this virus, and then do whatever we can to get a vaccine going. But for the time being, we have to shut down. The whole country has to stay home.” You stared at him in shock. Part of you had been wondering what would happen if the virus wasn’t a quirk, or if it couldn’t be stopped, but you hadn’t actually thought it possible. And now the entire nation had to be put on pause.

“Only essential shit can stay open. Grocery stores, hospitals, you get the idea. But everyone else has to stay in their house. There’s gonna be a more detailed plan later. But you won’t be leaving this building unless absolutely necessary.” Katsuki paused, clearly preparing to drop an even bigger bomb than the one he had just dropped. “And neither will I. I’m number 2. We’re hoping for a drop in crime if everyone takes this as seriously as they should, but they want the big heroes to avoid getting sick in case they need us to take out big villains if they try anything. They don’t want us out of commission if they need us. So it’s gonna be you and me in here. And it looks like it’s gonna be a while.”

---------------

Please forgive me for how short this is honestly I just wanted to be done with this chapter I know it's bad but now that I'm past it hopefully things will get better. And I think I’ll be remaking this blog because I apparently accidentally made this my side blog so I can’t reply to people so please keep an eye out for an update/post about that! I’ll also tag the new blog in all my posts so sorry for any trouble!!! Thank you for your support!

[minewako]

Heart of Stone - Chapter One

Summary: Following the events of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Sam and Bucky are accompanied by a new friend.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: English isn't my first language. If there are any mistakes please tell me so I can fix it.

______________

Bucky was sick of it. Not all of it, of course. But sick of this feeling. Sick of the guilt. Sick of all the stuff he did. Being reminded of it again today was no exception. The food was great as always and he enjoyed the old man’s stories. He even got a date planned, first since 1943. And still… He would never get used to this feeling. He did not know what time it was, neither did he care. He was lost in his thoughts, asking himself how he should confront Yori about his son. About how he should explain what the Winter Soldier had done to him. He barely even registered his surroundings as he took the long route home, He thought that somehow the rain could wash away his guilt. It never worked, of course. A female scream pulled him out of his trance and he immediately jumped into action. Sometimes he thanked the serum for his enhanced hearing as he could easily locate the screams origin. He rounded a corner and saw a man that was forcibly holding a woman in his embrace. The woman struggled to get free and was about to do something when her eyes fell on Bucky and she stopped all of her actions. In complete contrast to her, Bucky lunged forward with such a speed that he was just a blur. He grabbed the man’s arm, twisted it into an angle arms shouldn’t be in and pushed him to the ground. The woman, now free, scurried a bit away and Bucky didn’t register the way her eyes went wide. “Hey man, ouch, hey, be a bit gentler!” the man screeched and it made Bucky wince. “Just as gentle as you were to the lady over there. I guess you didn’t intend to hurt her and were just messing around, right?” “Yes! Yes, of course!” the man was near to a panic attack as Bucky released his grip, pulled him upwards and pushed him away. He nodded with his head along the street, signalling the man to get lost, which he gladly did. As Bucky turned around to the woman, he mustered her for a second. She did not look injured or otherwise affected. Her green hair was a bit messy and her business costume wrinkled but otherwise than that nothing caught his eyes. Well, nothing besides her almost golden like eyes, that were staring straight up at him. “Are you alright” Bucky found himself saying, stepping closer to the woman and reaching out his hand as if to touch her arm in a comforting way. She just folded her arms and smiled, showing her rows of white teeth. “Yes, thanks to you I am now.” She either was not bothered by the situation at all or was just immensely good at hiding it. “You should not walk around alone at this time. There are many people that will get advantage of that.” As he said these words, he picked up the umbrella the woman must have dropped during her unpleasant encounter and hold it up to her. She muttered a quiet thank you and took the umbrella, quickly covering herself as if it would help anything with her already soaked up state. “I’m usually snuggled up in my blanket with a hot cocoa at this hour but, you know… business and all.” She laughed nervously and paused for a moment, looking along the street, her brows furrowing for a second, before she turned to Bucky again, beaming up at him. “Thanks again for your help. I didn’t know how it would have ended if you didn’t show up. So, uhm… yeah. Thanks.” She turned and began to walk away. Her heels clicked on the stone, barely audible due to the rain. As Bucky stood there, he watched the woman slowly getting away. He did not even make a conscious thought about his next move, just followed his instinct. In just a second, he was by her side, keeping a decent distance though, and fell into step with her. She chuckled and a smile spread across her face. “So, you’re my bodyguard now?” She turned her head to Bucky and found him already watching her. One of the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “Told you, it isn’t safe to walk alone at this time.” He simply stated while shrugging his shoulders and focusing his gaze ahead the street again. “What are the chances that I encounter a thief twice at the same night? Or…” she stopped abruptly and brought her hand dramatically over her golden

necklace that was loosely hanging around her neck. “Are you trying to rob me as well?” Bucky whipped his head into her direction and his look must have been so confused that she just began to laugh. “Oh, I was just kidding. Please don’t take it too seriously. I have terrible humour, sorry.” Bucky huffed and a chuckle left his throat. The woman shifted a bit closer so that their shoulders were mere inches apart from touching. She just did that so she could hold the umbrella over his head as well, protecting at least some part of him from being rained on. They walked along one another for quite some time, rounding corners and passing streets. They finally arrived in a part that was familiar to Bucky and he immediately got annoyed because this was actually pretty near to were his therapist is. Luckily for him, they slowed down and stopped before an old building that was slightly towering over the others. He immediately checked the parameter and was surprised to find large windows to his side giving away the view of a gallery. The woman however did not turn to the door of the gallery but rather to the one that was probably a side door to the building. “Thank you for walking with me. I felt a lot safer.” The woman said while underlining her sentences with a genuine smile. Bucky returned the smile and nodded. Fumbling for her keys, she holds the umbrella to Bucky for him to hold. He took it hastily and did not even register how fast the woman had the door open and winked at him while saying: “Keep it, don’t want my saviour to get soaked. Or even more, that is. Good night.” Before he could protest, she gently shut the door and the faint sound of heels against floor was heard from inside. He stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before he turned around and began his journey to his own home. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he met the woman before. But the longer he rummaged through his brain, the more it started to hurt. * * * Bucky zoned out. He was just so tired and the rambling of his therapist did not help with that. He had another nightmare. Nothing unusual but he definitely was not in the mood to talk about it. “So, did you make any progress with your list?” This question brought Bucky back to reality. He shook his head. “It’s a bit hard tracking down some of them or rather getting to them without breaking two of your rules-” “Not my rules, James. Your rules. Those rules are not for me, remember?” The brunette interrupted him. He just rolled his eyes and hummed in annoyance. Yeah, definitely helped him a lot. One hundred percent. “Any other progress? What about the trust thing we talked about earlier?” One of her eyebrows was raised as she watched every muscle on Bucky’s face. He knew that and he knew that even the tiniest twitch could make her interpret something into it. So, he just stared blankly, expressionless as so often. The therapist let out a resigned breath and grabbed her notebook a bit too annoyed. “Oh really? That again? C’mon Doc.” “You know the drill, James. You won’t talk so I write.” Bucky rolled his eyes again, a common thing for him now. “Okay.” He finally gave in and the scribbling sound immediately stops. “It has nothing to do with my list. Or my trust in other people, which is fine, thank you very much. It’s more like something that felt… right to do.” He paused and fumbled nervously. He was not used to talk about such things. It would be comedic if it wasn’t that sad how he could kill this woman in front of him in about 37 ways with just the things in this room and not bat an eye, but is not able to open his mouth. After what felt like too long, he cleared his throat. “There was this woman. She was in a… not so great situation. Without thinking about it I helped her. And she did not care about the way I handled the situation. I mean it was the right thing to do. But… seeing her not afraid after all that happened, it was… weird.” Bucky did not know how to describe the situation and he definitely did not want to tell how he accompanied the woman home. The brunette just stared at him, her

face not giving away anything. She just gave him this look, this calculating one that send shivers down his spine. “You rescued a damsel in distress and felt good about it.” She concluded and Bucky blinked a few times about her bluntness. “That is a very noble thing, James, and something you should be proud of. You did not hurt anyone though, did you?” “No, of course not.” Bucky lied and got an approving hum from the woman across from him. “Thank you for sharing that with me, James. Now we can focus on that feeling that you had.” Bucky just grunted. * * * He exited the building where his therapist trapped him so often and flexed his metal arm. He heard the hissing and whirring it made and closed his eyes for a moment. He hated it. His grip tightened around the umbrella he still caried with him every step he goes. He told him himself that he would return it to the woman every time he left his home. That didn’t work too well so far. He grinded his teeth and searched his brain for any excuse to not go and return the umbrella. To be fair, he did not even know her name, nor if she were at home this time around. And it would probably let him look like a stalker if he just turned up on the doorstep or even worse, waited there. While he was collecting those thoughts, he was already moving into the direction of where he left the woman. He tried to curl into himself, which was actually pretty hard considering his form. Passing some fancy stores and shops on his way, he finally arrived at the gallery he remembered. He looked inside and saw a light flooded room with several walls that had some paintings on it. Bucky wasn’t an art critic but even he saw immediately that the main focus of this gallery wasn’t the few paintings that were probably just decorations but the various sculptures that were highlighted by spotlights around them. The former assassin shook his head and sorted his thoughts. He wasn’t here to look at some art. Just as he wanted to move past the gallery and on to the door beside it, he saw a flash of green from the corner of his eyes. His head snapped in its direction and his assumptions were confirmed. Inside the gallery stood the woman, wearing another business costume, her green hair flowing over her shoulder. She was currently talking to a pair in front of a sculpture. Now or never soldier. With nervous steps he entered the gallery and looked for possible escape routes and threats. Old habits die hard. Light classical music played in the background emphasizing the fact that this was a higher ranged gallery. A look on one of the statues prices only confirmed that. How could someone pay half a fortune for such things, Bucky would never understand. He didn’t mean to, but he just tuned into the conversation that the group of three had. It was a business talk, of course, and the pair was about to lose half a fortune. “Thank you so very much! I guarantee you both this sculpture will just look lovely in your living room. I’ll contact you concerning a date for the delivery after this beauty here is packed and ready.” Her smile never faltered and her eyes lit up while speaking the words. Bucky feigned interest in one of the stony images as the woman tapped on her tablet and then accompanied the pair to the door. In the corner of his eyes, he could see that she glanced at him for just a millisecond, registering his presence. After another thank you to the customers and exchanging goodbyes there was silence for a long stretching second. Bucky did not know how to proceed, his mind going blank. “Took you long enough to finally make the way inside.” The woman declared with a smirk that was clearly audible in her voice. Bucky didn’t really know what to answer and as if she sensed his confused mind, she elaborated while turning to him. “I’ve seen you strolling around the gallery for quite some time. Was wondering if it was coincidence or if you were actually interested in art.” Her smirk turned into a smile and he scratched his neck. “Well, it’s actually on my way to… work.” No need for her to know that he was seeing a

therapist. Not that it mattered anyway. “So, what can I help you with, Mr…?” She slowly approached him, raising her eyebrows at the end of her question. “Bucky.” He simply stated. The woman furrowed her brows. “Mr. Bucky? Sorry to say, but I’ve never heard such a surname.” ”Oh, uhm… no, Bucky is my normal name. Well, it’s actually James Bucky Barnes. But Bucky is just fine. Just Bucky.” He rambled and a light chuckle left her throat. Man, he really lost his charm. “And I just wanted to return your umbrella. Thought you might need it back.” As he holds the umbrella out to the woman, he noticed the slight widening of her eyes when he saw his gloves. He actually expected a remark about it or something like that but the woman just pushed his outstretched hand back and quirked up a brow while smirking mischievously. “Keep it. I have a feeling that it’s going to rain today. Just return it the next time you come and grab your coffee.” Was she really doing what he thought she was doing? He must have misheard that last part. Or at least he tried to convince himself of that. The last date he had a few days back didn’t went too well. And he didn’t know if he was okay with another one going downhill in such a short amount of time. “Yeah, that sounds good.” One of the corners of his mouth raised upwards as he first watched his fingers and then up again into the golden eyes of the woman. She just smiled in approval and opened her mouth to say something as the door opened and an older man strutted inside. She immediately turned her attention to that man and told him that she would be there in just a minute. “It’s a promise then?” her eyes were wide and full of hope. Bucky just had to nod. Without another word she turned around and started to tend to her new client. He awkwardly waved at her as a goodbye which she returned and then felt the gallery. That went better than expected. As Bucky set off to his home, he felt a few droplets of water fall on his face. It was starting to rain. He smiled to himself as he opened the umbrella, a small business card falling out of it. He picked it up and observed it. On the one side was a head with snakes around it, shimmering golden. A twist of the card revealed white letters that formed a telephone number and a name. Althaia Laskaris.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: please take note that this is mostly a filler chapter, just like chapter 46 and 47 will be. I have everything planned for 48, 49 and 50 tho. and then the story will be over :( if you want anything added to the filler chapters, please message me. tbh i would love you so so much lol! so yea, im super stressed about ending this story, i cant even explain. ALSO: time will pass quicker in the last few chapters so check the dates!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : the 2 requests added will be posted at the bottom of this post to avoid spoilers!!!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 45 : His chapter

NIALL

August 16th, 2018

I didn't know exactly what woke me up but I just turned around in bed, wrapping my arm around Liv's body and moving a bit closer before trying to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table and I groaned when I realized I forgot to put it on mute before falling asleep. I couldn't remember how long how making love session had lasted and I couldn't even remember when I actually fell asleep.

I grimaced and sighed before turning around and reaching out for my phone, searching for it with my eyes closed. My fingers finally gripped it and I decided to sit up, rubbing my eyes as I tried to read the message I had received. I noticed Louis' face next to the message and I frowned. It's not that Louis never texted me but I was still surprised to see that notification, especially so early in the morning.

'Had fun last night? 😏' was all he had sent me along with a link.

I turned to look at Olivia who was still deeply asleep, laying on her stomach, with the covers just over her butt and I finally got out of bed slowly and gently, making sure I wouldn't wake her up. I walked to the kitchen, letting out a yawn as I passed my hand in my messy hair, and decided to make coffee as I clicked on the link.

I frowned when I recognize my living room and I saw myself get up from the couch, suddenly realizing it was my instagram live from the night before. i frowned more, wondering why Louis would send me the link since I couldn't remember saying or doing anything remotely bad but when Olivia's legs appeared in the screen, I realized my mistake. I had probably not stopped the live properly and my heart jumped in my chest, trying to remember what exactly we had said and done right after.

I heard my girlfriend tell me I was a good person and groaned low again when I heard myself ask her if it turned her on. No one could see us kiss since the laptop was placed on the coffee table and we were standing up but even if I was whispering, the words "I'm gonna miss you so much." could easily be heard before she replied that she was going to miss me more.

"Fucking hell..." I whispered as I blinked a few times, staring at the screen where we could clearly see me leading Liv in the hall as she stepped back, our lips attached to each other's as we made out.

She hit the wall and we both laughed as I let out a 'clumsy ass!' the way I always did before an 'I love you' escaped my lips. I felt my heart jump in my chest knowing so many people had actually witnessed something so personal and I swallowed before sighed and passing my hand in my hair again. We disappeared from the screen as the sound of a door being closed could be heard and I realized the video lasted 4 more minutes where nothing could be heard or seen. It had probably been about an hour since I started the livestream which was why it finally cut and I put my phone away and closed my eyes, wondering what exactly would be the repercussion of this video. I didn't want to go on twitter to read what people were saying but I knew that I would at least have to tell Liv about it.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and my lips curled slightly when I heard my girlfriend yelled from the bedroom.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

"Okay, she already knows." I whispered to myself, taking a sip from my hot drink and leaning against the counter.

It took her only a few seconds but I saw her appear in front of me, her hair even messier than mine and wearing only my shirt. I wanted to be stressed by all this but when I saw her, my lips curled in a fond smile.

"Did Louis send it to you too?" was the first thing that got out of her mouth and I just nodded before turning around and grabbing a mug to pour her some coffee too. "That's it? That's all I get? A nod?"

I took the time to add sugar and cream in her coffee and finally turned around again to hand it to her. She stared at me for a few seconds before her eyes fell on the mug and she sighed, taking it from my hands.

"Is there anything else to say?" I just asked, shrugging a shoulder. "I mean it's on the internet probably forever and honestly, we've been lucky, especially thinking about all the times we actually just fucked on the couch I mean, this video could be so much worse."

She looked away and her eyebrows raised before she grimaced. "Yea, I guess that's some way to see it." she let out before taking a sip. "I just... Gosh I don't know, I feel violated."

"I'm sorry. Honestly, I feel like shit too. It's my mistake and it's a very bad one." I admitted, raising my nose up. "I'm sorry, petal."

Her eyes met mine and she took a step closer, tilting her chin up to keep her gaze locked with mine. I stared at her back as she blinked a few times and her thin lips curled into a fond smile.

"You're forgiven."

I let my eyes roamed on her face, knowing it was a big thing to be so easily forgiven for something like that, especially that we were both aware she would get a lot of hate because of it. I bent down slightly and let my lips brush against hers before closing my eyes and bringing my hands up to her cheeks to deepen the kiss. When we stopped, she kept hers lips pressed against mine and sighed low.

"I'm gonna turn off my notifications on twitter for a while."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and groaned. "Me too." I kissed her lips again. "We can just ignore the comments together. I promise we'll be fine."

"I know." she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. "I trust you."

I felt something stir in my heart at her words, knowing I had lost her trust last year and I had worked hard to get it back. Still, despite my efforts, she didn't have to give it back to me again, but she had, and I couldn't explain how much it meant to me.

"Thank you, pet."

                                                       ---

August 17th, 2018

I woke up around 10am, knowing I should have been up before. I had a concert on the same night and even if it was barely a two hours ride, we had to get there early to rehearse and make sure everything was in place. I was surprised to realize my girlfriend was not in bed anymore as I reached my arm on the mattress, my hand only meeting the cold sheets of the bed.

Quickly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, and stretched before getting up and dressing up. I walked to the kitchen only to see Liv and her lips curled when she saw me. I frowned, still surprised that she was already up, and took the mug she was handing me. I liked this habit that we had to prepare coffee if we were the first one to wake up. We had never talked about it but we just did it naturally and it was one of the many small things that made this whole relationship stronger.

"You're up early." I just pointed out before taking a sip.

"Will you miss me?" she asked quickly, ignoring my comment and making me frown.

"You know I will, petal, why are you asking?" I chuckled, taking a step closer and raising my eyebrows.

The truth was, I didn't want to leave without her but at the same time, I didn't want to force her to come with me. I knew following me on tour was not as fun as it may sound and I also knew she was busy. Of course, the fact that she was done with the season of her show gave her more free time, but the Olivia I discovered after being away from her for over a year was more independent than the Olivia I broke the heart to. She had also been right the last time we had a discussion about being away from each other. She had said it would bring us even closer and stronger together, and it had. We had spent a lot of time texting, facetiming and talking on the phone and I couldn't hide that I had missed her like crazy, but when we finally got to see each other again, it was intense. Besides, nothing would ever stop me from seeing her if at some point, it became too hard to be apart.

"How bad are you going to miss me?" she asked, once again ignoring my question.

"Pet, if I could, I'd put you in my bags and bring you with me."

This answer seemed to satisfy her as her lips curled more and she licked them before putting her mug away. I took a sip in mine but quickly, she grabbed it too and put it next to hers before taking my hand and pulling me with her.

"Are you bringing me in bed for a good fuck or something?"

This time, she laughed and the sound of it made me smile. She brought me to the hall and my lips parted when I saw her luggage in the lobby, laying near the door. I turned to her after a few seconds and she raised her eyebrows.

"If you don't want me to come with you, I'll definitely understand." she just said, shaking her head. "But I've had enough to be away from you. I miss you too much. What do you say?"

I felt my heart jump in my chest and let out a low chuckle before bending down slightly and wrapping my arms right under her butt to lift her up. She let out a short scream and a laugh, making my smile grow.

"Fuck yes!"

"Niall! Put me down! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

I did as she asked and as soon as she was back on her feet, I pushed her against the wall and looked down at her with a smile. She looked up and licked her lips before nibbling on her bottom one, her eyes never leaving mine and a smile still spread on her face.

"I didn't want to force you into coming with me, but fuck, I wanted to ask you to follow me again." I whispered, bending down slightly to brush my nose against hers. "Thank you for coming with me. It makes me so happy, darling."

"I was not sure if you still wanted me to come. I don't want to be annoying, or dependent. I just want to be with you."

My happy smile turned into a fond one. I didn't want her to ever believe she bothered or annoyed me. I was not the kid I used to be when I broke up with her, I didn't see things the same way, and I had learned.

"I always want to be with you. Your presence is a gift for me, I want you to always remember that, okay?" I murmured, feeling my lips brush against hers as I talked. "Don't ever try to be someone else. I love you best when you're just yourself."

She chuckled. "Did you just quote your own song?"

I sent her a smirk and shrugged, my body still pressed on hers. "It's my words, I can use them whenever I want. Besides, I wrote it for you, so."

"Okay but, can I really show you my heart? You promise you won't break it again?"

I rubbed my nose gently and slowly against hers again, making her eyelids flutter slightly.

"I swear." I breathed. "You're everything I want."

                                                   ---

September 12th, 2018

When I walked back in the hotel room after the show, my lips curled when I noticed Liv coming out of the bathroom, her body wrapped in a fluffy white towel. She looked surprised for half a second and finally sent me a smile while tilting her head. I took a few steps closer and placed my hands on her hips but she quickly took a step back and shook her head.

"Nooo, nop!" she let out, making me raise her eyebrows. "You're all sweaty and shit. Take a shower first!"

"I thought seeing me all sweaty made you horny." I argued, my lips curling into a smirk.

"Watching you all wet turns me on too." she admitted, pressing her lips together. "Go shower and I promise to stay naked, deal?"

This time, I smirked even more and waggling my eyebrows, making her laugh. "Can I get a glimpse?" I asked, pulling gently on the top of the towel and letting my gaze drop in her cleavage.

"No!" she argued, slapping my hand slightly and chuckling. "Hurry!"

I groaned and rushed to the bathroom, getting quickly undressed and starting the shower. I let out a sigh as I tilted my chin, feeling the warm water fall in my face and wet my hair. The past months had been exhausting, mentally and physically, but I could actually say that I was in the exact place I wanted to be. I didn't feel this hole inside my chest anymore. Somehow, it was filled with something that I desperately needed without really realizing it. It was not only the love we had for each other that mattered, it was also the friendship, the history, the trust, the hope and the need we felt toward the other... all of this filled everything that needed to be filled. She was my home, and I was hers. I had never felt like that for anyone else in my life.

I quickly got out of the shower and dried my body and hair before wrapping the towel around my waist. When I walked back in the room, my lips parted slightly and I stopped dead in my track. She was laying in bed, on her stomach, her headphones on as she seemed to read something (a book or a magazine, perhaps?), still completely naked. I stared for a few seconds at the back of her head before my eyes moved down to her ass. I didn't know if she did that just to turn me on but it definitely worked. I took the towel off and let it fall next to me before grabbing my cock in my hand and stroking it gently.

She started humming a song low and I was so focused on her naked form that it took me half a minute to realize it was one of mine. It made the left corner of my lips raise up and I let my free hand run down to my balls as I got harder.

Being able to have sex with her every time I came back to the hotel room was one of the perks of having her on tour, along with many others, of course. I normally prefer to be alone but when it came to Olivia, everything seemed different. I didn't feel stuck in this relationship, or smothered by it. I still wanted us to be private and couldn't wait until people would stop mentioning that video or us after my livestream but at the same time, It didn't bother me the way it would have before. After all, I was dating her, and for the very first time in my life, I wanted it to last forever. Just that thought seemed crazy to me and my heart skipped a beat.

I took a step closer to her and without thinking, I straddled her quickly and stared down as I pushed my cock inside her. She tensed and I felt her walls press around the tip of my cock, making me groan.

"Don't move, baby." I whispered before realizing she probably couldn't hear me.

I kept looking down as I slowly pushed myself more inside her until I was balls deep and moaned low. She felt amazing, as she always did, and my whole body started throbbing. I leaned closer to her, holding myself with my hands near her shoulders, and moved my hips back before thrusting in her again.

"F-Fuck."

The way she whimpered made me smile and with one hand, I took her headphones off and it fell off the bed, making a soft sound as it hit the carpet. I bent down slightly and brushed my lips on her ear.

"I don't think what you're reading is as interesting as what I'm doing to you, is it, petal?"

I watched her eyes flutter closed and her lips part before laying on top of her and slipping one  of my arms around her. My hand reached for her neck and I pressed my fingers on her throat as I tried to hold myself with the elbow of my other arm, making sure I didn't crush her or hurt her.

"Is it?" I asked again, a little louder this time.

"Mm, nothing is better than what you're doing to me." she admitted in a whisper, making me smile more.

"How much do you like my cock inside your pretty little cunt, pet?"

She moved her ass up to feel me deeper and I breathed through my teeth at the amazing sensation, remaining motionless for a few seconds. She started wiggling a bit and my grip tightened around her neck.

"So.. so much." she whimpered again, gripping the sheets of the bed with both hands.

"You're so fucking impatient." I whispered with a chuckle, letting go of her throat and sitting back on her legs. "Didn't think I'd find you laying on the bed naked like that, just waiting for me. You have no idea how hard that made me."

I stared down at my cock moving slowly in and out of her as I moved and enjoyed the moans coming out of her mouth every single time I was completely inside her.

"Fuck, Niall, please."

I looked up and grabbed her hair, pulling on it a bit as she let out a louder whimper.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered, gripping her hair tighter. "I want to cum inside you, petal."

I watched her move a bit, her body twisting as she slipped one of her arms under her body to reach for her clit. She rubbed the tip of her fingers on my balls, making me groan, and finally started touching herself, making her ass grind up. I started fucking her harder and faster, in motion with her ass moving up and it only took a minute or two until she started shaking beneath me. The sight was amazing and I groaned as I came too, pushing her hard despite myself in the mattress.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before going limp on top of her.

I heard her chuckle and my lips curled too as I brushed them on her shoulder. She shivered and I smiled even more when goosebumps appeared on her now damp skin.

"I love having sex with you." she admitted, making me laugh lightly.

"Oh darling, I love having sex with you, too."

I trailed kisses on her neck and shoulder and after a while, I moved next to her, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling. We were on the wrong side of the bed and I felt my heels lean against one of the pillows.

"And I love spending time with you. I love being close to you. I love that you followed me here. I love that you're still my best friend after all this time. I love that we get along so well, that we grew up together, that we're even closer than we used to be." I confessed slowly in a soft tone. "I love that you love me. I love that I love you. I love the team we make. I love you, Olivia."

I turned my head her way and she was staring at her. She seemed on the verge on tears but I knew they were happy tears and I sent her a fond smile before moving on my side to see her better. I brought one of my hands to her cheek and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"The truth is, I can't wait to marry you, to start a family with you, to grow old with you."

Her eyes roamed on my face and she swallowed hard. We both remained silent for a while and she pressed her lips together. It was so endearing that I smiled more and let my fingertips run on her shoulder and down her sides, until her waist.

"You..." she started, stopping herself again for a few seconds before her eyes met mine. "The first time we dated, it was everything that scared you about our couple. That's why you broke up with me, remember?"

I held my head with my hand, my arm on the mattress, and she moved closer, licking her lips and waiting for my answer. Of course I remembered, how could I not?

"I know." I replied, nodding lightly. "I was a fuckin' idiot. I mean, I still am." I shrugged with a chuckle. "But I'm an idiot who will never make that mistake again. I don't want to be with anyone else. And I don't want to be away from you."

"For someone who supposedly suck at expressing his feelings, you're doing quite well." she pointed out with a big smile.

I laughed too and shrugged again. "I've been thinking about what I was going to say for days." I admitted, glancing away before looking back at her. "I almost wrote a song instead."

"You could have," she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing my fingers. "I love hearing you sing."

I smiled again and pulled her closer to me to feel her body against mine. I lied down on my back again and she cuddled my side quickly. We stayed quiet for a while and every time she'd tilt her chin up to kiss mine, it would make me smile. It made me realize I had everything I needed, everything I wanted... I had everything I didn't even know I needed, and didn't even know I wanted.

"Do you still want to elope?" I asked randomly after a while.

"It's still a dream of mine, yea." she replied in a gentle tone. "But I know you'd prefer a normal wedding with our families and friends. I'm okay with that."

"I'm sure we can make a compromise."

She moved her head up to look in my eyes and frowned a bit. "This is... hypothetical, right?"

I let my eyes roam again on her face and something stirred inside me. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so bad. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much you that you'd be ready to change your life plans for them. But here I was, staring at the only woman I ever fell in love with, knowing that I'd do anything for her, and that I would never stop loving her.

"Of course, we're just talking." I lied, my lips curling more. "So we'd elope and get married in Vegas, and then make a big party with our friends and family. And then what?"

"Honeymoon? If we're not too busy..."

"We'll make time." I replied firmly. "Bali or Bora Bora?"

She laughed and turned to lay on her back, my arm still behind her neck, and she finally shook her head. "I don't care where we go, Niall. As long as I'm with you."

the requests

[mcustorm]

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 

[sailorbadger]

Robin Hood episode ranking part 1 (39-33)

I recently finished a rewatch of BBC’s Robin Hood. I’ve seen the show all the way through about three times now, though I’ve watched a lot of season 1 and 2 separately as well. This time I was watching with someone who had never seen the show. On top of that, we watched it in a non-chronological order, which made me view many of the episodes in a different light. So, I (with my friend) decided to rank all 39 episodes from worst to best.

I’ll be splitting this ranking into 5 parts, because the whole thing ended up being 14 pages long. We tried to take into account how good the episodes are objectively from a narrative point of view, but ultimately in many places our own enjoyment determined the final placements. Feel free to agree or disagree with me. I’d also like to add that when I say an episode is “bad”, I mean it in the context of the show. I’ve seen a lot worse things on TV than anything on this show. Nothing in this show is so bad it’s unwatchable. Anyway, here’s part 1 with places 39–33.

39. 3x1 – Total Eclipse

This episode just… isn’t that good. The plot feels messy and even though it’s supposed to emotionally rely on the events of the season 2 finale, it ends up feeling hollow and empty. Robin and Gisborne have some classic Man Pain angst revolving around Marian’s death, but she’s just reduced to someone they both loved. It’s not like she was an actual person who had other qualities beyond being the love interest. It doesn’t help that this is really the only season 3 episode where her death is properly addressed. Overall, Gisborne and Robin are both even more annoying than usual in this episode. The other outlaws are just given something to pass the time while Robin wallows in his own angst, and I didn’t care about anything going on in the episode. Tuck is an alright character, but he’s better later on in the season. In this episode he just does things to advance the plot, and I didn’t find him that interesting. For some reason, the aesthetic for this episode also seemed to be “let’s make everyone look like drowned dogs”. There might be some positive aspects to this episode, but I honestly don’t remember them, which is why it’s at the bottom of this list. I have no real interest in rewatching this episode any time soon.

 38. 3x5 – Let the Games Commence

I had honestly forgotten how bad this episode is. The A and B plotlines have nothing to do with each other, and both are bad. Why is there a lion? What did the circus plot add to the story? Isabella’s introduction is the only positive thing in this episode, but even that could have been done in a more interesting way. I also do have to add that they did a good job casting Isabella, since my friend guessed that she is Gisborne’s sister before it was even revealed. Overall, this episode could be skipped if not for the fact that it introduces Isabella. The plot feels useless and it doesn’t even have the fun sense of adventure that many episodes in season 2 had.

 37. 3x7 – Too Hot to Handle

Why was this episode so sexual? The “romance” felt incredibly forced. Robin and Isabella’s relationship moves too fast, and I do not enjoy watching it. Kate’s jealousy doesn’t help either. The plot is stupid, and the characters make equally stupid decisions. Robin is almost as annoying in this episode as he is in 3x1, but since the plot is at least a little bit more interesting, this episode is above it in the ranking.

 36. 3x9 – A Dangerous Deal

What is it with this season and trying to pair off teenage girls (or at least characters that are written as such) with fully grown men? Meg had so much potential, which was then wasted by throwing her into a one-episode “romance” with Gisborne. The two of them could have made a completely platonic connection to advance the plot in a similar way, there was no need to make it romantic. Another pairing I hate in this episode was Robin and Kate. I felt my spine crack into small pieces every time I had to watch the two of them have a moment together. Robin talks to Kate like she is a child (and since she is written as if she’s a teenager, I don’t blame him for it), yet for some reason I’m supposed to believe that the two of them like each other romantically? Thanks, but no thanks. Isabella’s husband is a character that fills me with rage, and this episode would have been improved if he had gotten stabbed in the eye within the first five minutes. I like that Isabella got to be the one to kill him and that she didn’t need to be saved by someone else. Unfortunately, the show then gets hypocritical and frames this as a bad thing. Robin has spent the show killing people left and right, but when Isabella kills her abusive husband – during a time when divorce was not an option and she had no protection against him – it’s suddenly much worse than anything Robin has ever done? Isabella, like Meg and Kate, had so much potential, but the show decided to make her into a villain by painting her as “the crazy bitch” for no good reason. I remembered this episode to be better than what it was, and I was disappointed when I rewatched it.

 35. 3x3 – Lost in Translation

The one thing I remember the best from watching this episode is that after we were done, we read the Wikipedia article on the history of Bible translations. The actual plot of the episode doesn’t tie into anything, and nothing relevant happens. The priest or whoever annoyed us, as did Tuck. The characters, in true season 3 manner, made stupid decisions. This is one of the most skippable episodes in the whole series. The plot of the episode is bad, but not as terrible as the negative aspects of the previous episodes on this list, which is why it’s ranked higher.

 34. 3x2 – Cause and Effect

This episode goes into the same category as 3x3 in terms of being very forgettable. The guest characters are alright, but they don’t add that much to the story to lift this episode any higher. The only thing in this episode that has anything to do with the rest of the reason is the introduction of Kate. It’s not her best episode, but it’s also not the worst. The episode was slightly more interesting than 3x3, but other than that, I barely remember either of these episodes.

 33. 1x10 – Peace? Off!

If I wasn’t at least a little bit reasonable, this episode would be at the bottom of the list. I am, however, also spiteful, which is why this is ranked so low. Why? I hate the ninja women with a burning passion. Nothing in this show makes me as irrationally angry as they do. It pains me to even think about this episode because I am then forced to think about the ninja women. Other than them, I feel like this episode suffers from having too many smaller themes in one episode. At first the episode felt a bit confusing, since there was so much going on. The one great thing about this episode is Much. His scenes are amazing, and if the episode consisted of only them, this might easily have ended up in the top 10. Unfortunately, rather than focusing on Much and Harold working through their trauma, they decided to shove in the ninja women, and for that this episode must be punished.

This part ended up being quite negative, but we had to start somewhere. If you feel as disappointed by season 3 as I do, you should read through my “Kate should have been the new Nightwatchman” rant [link]. In part 2 of the ranking we’ll go through places 32–26. All the parts will eventually be under the #rh-episode-ranking tag [link].

[peckin-pat-marlow]

Tagged by @captain-teddy-reese

50 Questions: OC Interview

1. What’s your name?

“Howdy. I’m Patricia Marlow.”

2. Give us your full name

“...Ah fine! My middle name’s Winifred... Patricia...Winifred...Marlow.

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

“I’ve been called shorter of my names: Pat, Patsy, Patty Cake (don’t bother askin’ why.) But folks way out south west know me as “Peckin’ Pat Marlow. I shot my town’s sheriff the day after...his obstruction of justice. Gave him that kiss he wanted afterwards. And it became a habit with anyone I killed as leader of the Marlow Marauders.”

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

“Last I checked...I’m still human.”

5. Where were you born?

“I was born in a town the south west of texas. It was famous for its large lake and gold mine a few miles out. Just make sure you have ginseng and special vegetation for the snakes and lizards...I wouldn’t head there if I were you. Hasn’t rained for 13 years.”

6. I see. And that would make your age...?

“That would make me...36 years old.”

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

“What I’ve done doesn’t make me a saint, but it don’t mean I have bad morals.”

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself...

8. How would you describe your personality?

“Back before I was soft, sweet and kind..had to be for the kids, but I still held myself firm for the adults as well. When the town reared it’s ugly head...I became a different person; ruthless, vengeful, hard hearted, didn’t take shit from no person when it came to me and my gang. It take no responsibility for indirect harm because they didn’t handle circumstances better! I was willing to do whatever it takes to get vengeance not with death, but with nothin’ for ‘em left! But I couldn’t my gang be taken with me in my final moments.

But after that last score, when I suddenly found myself alive and rescued. I began to mellow out...I still had my temper and was satisfied with what I’ve accomplished, but I became more aware of how the world was changing. So I just wander the lands to keep an eye on this changing world and hope it’s for the better.”

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

“I’ve had moments where I was frustrated...but I’ve managed to maintain my composure around misbehaving kids and disrespectful adults.”

10. Do you like to read?

“Well, yeah. What kind of teacher doesn’t like to read?”

11. Favourite Colour

“I’ve grown fond of the colour black.”

12. Do you get along with others?

“Just because I get along with people doesn’t mean I like them. I do so to get the job done, and if they don’t cross me I choose them to stick close and see how things turn out.”

13. Do you have any enemies?

“Many could call me their enemy, but the one I call my nemesis won’t bother me anymore...”

14. How about friends?

“I became friends with my gang through the trust and teamwork we had for over 13 years. I’m sure they’re all fine and free. I have met other folks but I can’t call them friends just yet.”

15. Are you patient?

“I can be...When your a teacher you have to be patient to know more about situations.”

Part lll: Hypothetically...

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

“I’ll say a cougar. They’re just as vicious, independent, dexterous, with some self indulgence. They can still purr, y’know?”

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

“Which one? If it’s Gill then he’s complimenting me with sarcasm and rage since he’s still not found the loot. His generation’s gonna be diggin’ for years and won’t be the ones to find it.”

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

“I prefer their insults as criticism. But at least their words won’t mean they betray me straight away.”

19. If you could change anything about yourself...

“I can’t see me changin’ anytime soon...but I guess I gotta find somethin’ else to do without second guessin’.”

20. About your home...

“It ain’t like a manor, but It had enough space for my parents and my things...But it was so damn expensive thanks to Gill’s daddy...it got burnt down by an angry mob, along with my school, Miles’s stand and his donkey, Sally-Ann...

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21. What're your parents like?

“They were geniuses compared to the other folk in town. Both of em met in the city where they got their degree. I don’t think their families approved though, as I haven’t heard a thing about my grandparents. But they were good people using their money to buy two properties, for my home and school.

But I can’t give em that. Their last wish was to make sure I improved the head on my soldiers before they slowly died together from Diphtheria...I didn’t know they passed until Miles came to check on me.”

22. Do you have any siblings?

“None. I was an only child, thank goodness. If I had a younger baby sister, Gill would target her more than me...”

23. What's your occupation?

“I used to be a teacher in my hometown. Since I was the only women with the knowledge thanks to my parents education, I took up the role. Taught both kids and adults to read and write.”

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

“I enjoyed my job when it came to the kids. Nothin made me feel better than givin’ them somewhere to be while adults did their own thing, though I wished I could have give them more subjects, but reading and writing was more tolerable to teach than the other things that adults couldn’t make sense of. As for the adults...I won’t lie there are some worse than the children. Way worse.”

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?

“No...”

26. Married/Engaged/Other?

“I wished for that with someone once.”

27. If yes, how did you meet?

“...I met Miles Wiley when I first came to town after my parents moved. He was a vegetable farmer with a donkey he claimed was over a century old from the vegetables he ate. Many folks who can’t afford the doctor’s fee often came to him for tonics, ointments, all sorts of ailments that were reliable, especially for the gold miners who came for the juice as repellent for the lizards. Before me he was the only stranger in that town...He made me welcome even after I took over the town’s teacher and helped repair my school, only askin’ for the spiced apricots I made.

But the town found out how close we really was from our first...and last kiss. He only wanted to fix me after being broken down for so long...We tried to escape by boat, but of course Gill had his ferry and me and Miles weren’t much of a shot...He wasn’t even armed but he shot him...he shot him even as I held him.

28. Tell us your biggest secret.

“Aside from people thinkin’ I’m dead? Everyone knew about me and Miles so I got no big secret to hide.”

29. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

“After what the Sheriff did, I fear being put into that situation again where I was taken advantage of right under others noses...Then there’s being in the middle of a ring of fire.”

30. Favorite food?

“I may had made spiced apricots once upon a time but it ain’t my favourite food. I don’t have it as much as I like to...but I do miss that Pecan pie.”

30. Favorite drink?

“Spiced Island Moonshine. I just discovered this recipe and it tastes like the goods of home and warm escape. I could kiss Marcel for makin’ this but... then I’d have have to kill him.”

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

“I would have said getting revenge on Gill for killing Miles was the best thing that happened...But I never imagined letting the group go free after our last score would take that. Some graduation, huh?”

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

“Whatever is embarrassing is what happens when I’m drunk...”

33. If you didn't answer Questions 29 and/or 33, tell me why.

“I may have mellowed out from my recovery, but I have my damn pride still.”

34. Is that a good reason?

“Just take it as you will...”

Part V: Closing

35. Are you satisfied with your life?

“I felt like my life was nearly wasted than satisfied. I loved Miles but I wasted my life in that town. I remembered my gang more fondly than the town. But I’m still young to do somethin’.”

36. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

“Well my vengeance has been achieved and leading a gang is something to tick off. I’m gonna start looking for things as Patricia Marlow and not Peckin’ Pat.”

37. Any hobbies?

“I have developed a thing for watching shows in the theatre, and I used to play the banjo to sing songs with kids. I’m sure I haven’t gone too rusty.”

38. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me...

“I wish Miles was alive....That’s the one thing I can’t have back.”

39. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us...Folk wouldn’t have approved of us, but...we’d be more free if we got out together.”

40. Have you been honest with these questions?

“That I have...Now that you know me it’s all about what u gonna do?”

41. Your personal quote?

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

42. Do you like change?

“It’s what I fought for when things didn’t change enough...”

43. What's your most valued possession?

“Since they burned Miles’s body, I wasn’t left with much to remember him. It was a good thing I found his hat after I left town, but I haven’t taken it out of my satchel since.”

44. Anything else you feel like sharing?

“Not right now, I ain’t.”

50. Last question!...yup, that's it! How do you feel?

“Like a few pounds has been lifted off my shoulders. Or it might just be one of my firearms...Haha! Don’t worry, I just gotta reload.”

[obeyme-and-you]

So... Why is Luke Ten?

Mod Gabriel is in PURPLE

Mod Kimimela is in BLUE

Verses are in Green

So every character in the game is named after somebody. And in the entire NASB and KJV Bibles there is only 1 Luke, so we can assume that they used that name for a reason.

 Also why does an Angel, who’s been alive for (presumably) thousands of years look and act like a ten year old child? Why is it that he’s the only character that is aged so young, while everyone else is an adult?(and i believe the devs have said that is what his age he looks like is) 

In the search for info about Simeon he is first mentioned in Luke 2:25, and in a fit of inspiration we decided to look at Luke 10. And OHHHH Boy

*MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OBEY ME CHAPTERS 1-22 AHEAD*

(Bible spoilers >.<)

We will put the verse first and then try to explain how they may relate to inspiration for the game.

NASB Luke 10

“1) Now after the Lord appointed seventy others, and sent them in pairs ahead of Him to every city and place where He Himself was going to come.”

For the exchange program that Diavolo had created, everyone was sent in pairs to study abroad in the different worlds. (Two humans and two Angels to the Devildom,and we can assume that this happened for all the realms) 

“2) And He was saying to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.

3) Go; behold, I sent you out as lambs in the midst of wolves.”

The MC is sent to a place that is home to demons, with two angels who greatly out power them, and the only other human is a powerful warlock. The MC’s icon at the start of the game is also a lamb. The MC is a lamb, who was thrown into a pack of wolves. 

“4) Carry no money belt, no bag, no shoes; and greet no one on the way.”

When the MC is teleported to the Devildom, they weren’t given a warning before getting there, so they were unprepared, unaware of where they were and why they were there, and therefore, wouldn’t have been able to properly pack for this trip.(All the Dialogue options when you arrive show confusion or disbelief on how you even got there)

“5) Whatever house you enter, first say ‘Peace be to this house.’

6) If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you.”

When MC first arrives at the Devildom Diavolo and Lucifer welcomes them to the Devildom. All the brothers (including Lucifer), seem to not particularly care about MC when they first meet them and are not necessarily welcoming either.

When MC comes back to the Devildom with Solomon, (OB chapter 21)all of the brothers are happy to see them and admit that they all missed MC when they left.

“7) Stay in that house, eating and drinking what they give you; for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not keep moving from house to house.”

The MC stays at the House of Lamentations, eating breakfast and dinner with the brothers that reside there, and the MC doesn’t leave to live in a different dorm room.(Even when MC’s room gets destroyed 0w0)

“8) Whatever city you enter and they receive you, eat what is set before you;”

MC is welcomed into the Devildom, and is fed food from the Devildom while they live there.(MC gets fed some weird stuff)

“9) and heal those in it who are sick, and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near you’”

Even though the demon brothers aren’t physically sick, the MC does help heal the brothers' relationships with each other.

Verses 10-16 explain that the destruction of the cities that turned them away will be worse off than the cities of Sodom, Tyre, and Sidon.

(No real connection just a summary)

(Something important to keep in mind because it does explain what would happen if MC and the other exchange students were not accepted there, but doesn’t have any proper connections to the story itself at this point)

“17) The seventy returned with joy, saying, ‘Lord, even the demons are subject in your name’

Right as the first year ends, MC makes a pact with all seven brothers, which allows them some control over them.

“18) And He said to them, ‘I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

19) Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.

20) Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven.”

When MC gets trapped in the maze under Diavolo’s castle, Henry(the first), Levi’s giant serpent, is unable to injure MC because they summon Asmo (who’s symbol happens to be the scorpion) and he stops it from hurting MC. MC has power over all the demon brothers because of the pacts that have been made, which not only means that they can’t hurt MC because MC can stop them, but because the brothers care about MC, they wouldn’t let anything happen to them to begin with. Verse 20 could be argued that because MC is the descendant of Lilith, therefore part angel turned human, if and when MC’s powers awaken, MC would have a place in the celestial realm.

“21) At that very time He rejoiced greatly in the Holy Spirit, and said, ‘I praise You, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight.

22) All things have been handed over to Me by My Father, and no one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal to Him.”

Diavolo, knowing that Lilith 1) was reincarnated as a human and 2) had descendants, decided to keep this hidden from the brothers. He hid this information from the brothers, who are all wise and intelligent to an extent, but in time had it so that it would be revealed to MC, who, in comparison to a bunch of demons that are thousands of years old, an infant. This was a good call on his side considering the brothers' relationships with each other (especially with Lucifer who knew about Lilith becoming a human) , and the fact that they had no reason to care about MC until that point.

No one knew who MC was except Diavolo and Lilith (not including Barabatos), and then later MC, and then after that the brothers were only told because MC decided to tell them (to help resolve the conflict with Belphie). Who the “Father” is in reference to Obey Me, could be argued for and against both Diavolo and Lilith.

“23) Turning to the disciples, He said privately, ‘Blessed are the eyes which see things you see,

24) for I say to you, that many prophets and kings wished to see the things which you see, and did not see them, and to hear the things which you hear, and did not hear them”

MC was able to see visions of Lilith when she fell, and was able to witness what exactly went down between her, Diavolo, and Lucifer, after they grabbed the grimoire. Later, after the attic scene, MC was able to talk with Lilith and find out they’re the descendant of her. Considering the fact there has yet to be a mention of Henry in TSL being the descendant of an angel, we can assume that Simeon, a prophet, was unable to witness that.(Cause there is no way that's all a coincidence ,But we’ll get to that ;) ) The fact that Diavolo, the prince of the Devildom, takes such an interest in MC and is using them for some unspecified goal enough to change timelines in his favor, hints that he wants them for something only they can do.

It should also be noted that Solomon takes an interest in MC throughout the game, and later calls himself King Solomon the Wise.

Verses 25-29 is a discussion about a lawyer asking Jesus how to inherit eternal life. Jesus asks him what he thinks the answer is and he responds with “You shall love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all our mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (v27) he then asks jesus what he means by your neighbor. (More summary not really anything to relate for now)

“30) Jesus replied and said, ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead.

31) And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32) Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.

33) But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion,

34) and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

35) On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’

36) Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?’

37) And he said, ‘The one who showed mercy toward him.’ Then Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do the same.’”

While this parable doesn’t have strong ties to the game as of yet, it’s important to keep in mind for future updates. 

Some connections can be made though, when talking about how much the MC has helped the brothers with their relationships. The MC can be compared to the Samaritan because the MC never had to necessarily help them in anyway. The MC was on their own journey, having to navigate the devildom, school, and the House of Lamentations. The MC came upon Belphie in the attic, and even though there was nothing for MC to gain by helping, they did so anyway. MC also helped the other brothers throughout the story, E.g. helped Levi get back at Mammon, protected Beel and Luke from Lucifer, helped Lucifer and Satan when they switched bodies, helped Mammon prove he didn’t kill anyone on the train, to list a few. 

With the information given so far in the game in comparison to this passage, we can infer that MC is the neighbor that the brothers should love as much as they love themselves. (MC really was fixing one problem after another)

Verses 38-42 talk about Jesus being welcomed into the home of Martha and Mary of Bethany, and while Martha prepares for them Mary listens to him teach. Martha asks him why he doesn’t care that Mary isn’t helping, and he tells her that Mary is doing right by listening to his teachings.

These verses don’t seem to have a significance in terms of Obey Me as of yet.

In short there are a lot of details in Luke Chapter Ten that seem to have provided inspiration for the game.(is it really that deep? >.<) This could be all coincidence? But who knows not us!

*insert some slutty, slutty details about how brilliant i am in every way for figuring this out, jk plz dont uwu. Blah, blah, blah, luke is 10 because luke chapter 10, and holy shit is there a lot of connections between luke 10 and obey me like when i first read it i was like ooo like at these few deets who woulda thought, and jesus christ who put this much work into this game cause damn i wanna meet this guy. MC is somehow [REDACTED],[REDACTED], and [REDACTED] all rolled up into one nosy babe. Something about mc is a lamb amongst wolves, something about diavolo prob, diavolo or lilith is mc’s daddio and they [REDACTED], demons, symbolism, idk how a summary works bu like, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯* (professionalism at its finest)

We will next be taking a look at our lovely angel Simeon!

[anika-ann]

Traditions Kept Pt.6

From This Day On

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: mentions of nightmares, one f-bomb, major fluff

Summary:  In which a Christmas miracle occurs.

Story Masterlist

You woke up with a startle, sitting up on your bed with your heart in your throat. The darkness of your room welcomed you and you released a shaky breath, running a hand down your face. Phantom of pain in your ears and once broken bones still throbbed within you and you reached for your phone with a sigh.

3:37 a.m. Great. Three and half an hour since the Christmas Day had started. You doubted you would fall asleep again.

Merry Christmas to me.

On autopilot, you slid into your slippers and a hoodie, heading to the common room, not wanting to be between the walls that felt too close to your liking. Shuffling through the corridors, you found yourself smiling a little as you saw a dim light coming from where you were heading. Guess you weren’t the only one with nightmares.

The prospect of a night-talk with Steve made the fact you would be sleep-deprived on Christmas bearable. You liked how open he would get in those moments, letting you in, almost making you believe there was a special bond between you two. Almost.

You found him by the kitchen counter, making tea. He glanced up when you entered the room, giving you a sad smile.

“Hey. Want tea?” he offered politely, rewarded by your smile widening and a nod.

You took your usual spot on the couch, a mug soon pressed into your hands.

“Thank you,” you whispered as he seated himself by your side. You sat cross-legged, turning his direction a bit and he shifted as well to face you. You indulgingly breathed in the aroma of rooibos vanilla tea.

“You’re welcome, Warbler.”

You snorted. Not so much of a warbler now, more like a nightingale – the name the public gave you seemed fitting. Your half-amused sound turned into a sigh.

“Bucky?”

Steve lowered his gaze, nodding.

“Yeah. The day you got your powers?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, this time escaping his sincere eyes and huffed, actually annoyed. “I don’t even know why it’s still haunting me. I mean… it wasn’t even that terrible. A bang. A little– okay, a lot of pain, but it’s been ages. Shouldn’t I be over it?” you complained lowly, looking at him again in search for answers.

His brows furrowed as he made a sympathetic face. His voice was quiet, his body shuffling just an inch closer to you. “Should you? It changed your life, turned it upside down.”

You blinked in surprise at the claim. Well. He wasn’t wrong. And by the quirk of one corner of his lips, he knew that.

Of course, gaining your powers had been… insane. Smacking a huge ‘fuck you’ label on your old life, because suddenly when you wanted for someone to shut up, they would, because you could just muffle the sound waves of their voice and practically make them mute. You could sneak behind someone, because you would erase the sound of your footsteps. You could win every shout-match, at least when it came to decibels. Everything had changed, even your sister looking at you a bit differently, no matter how hard she tried not to.

But… you could do good now. You could save lives. And you earned amazing friends.

“But not to worse,” you offered after a while, blowing at the tea carefully.

Steve gave you a lopsided smile. “You think so?”

“Sure. I mean… it’s not all pretty, but… yeah. I think so.”

Of course that after the first mission going wrong you had wanted to quit. Or after every broken rib. After getting a stabbed— not pretty at all, actually.

Yet, you hadn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You wondered if you had a breaking point, but so far, it hadn’t come. You bit your lip, watching Steve as he sipped his tea. Did he feel the same about his life? Sure, your life had changed a lot, but his… your fate was nothing compared to the spiral of insanity he had been thrown into.

“Do you think so? Have you ever… regretted it? The serum?”

Steve froze, the mug halfway from his lips. His whole body stiffened and you wanted to slap yourself for such insensitive question.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to— uhm, you know….“

He relaxed, setting the mug down, his eyes roaming your face as if he was evaluating whether he should tell you.

“I don’t regret it. It allowed me to do a lot of good.”

“Can’t argue with that one,” you noted with a gentle smile, feeling there was more he wanted to say. “But…?”

He chuckled, lowering his gaze. “I went under and… woke up seventy years later. It was… it was so insane…. Lots of things have changed. I did too, I think.”

“Have you thought of… not coming back after that? To the whole… superhero business? Just go and be Steve Rogers?”

“Man out of time?” he offered wryly, but quickly smiled reassuringly, seeing you winced at the dry remark. The look in his eyes seemed absent now, searching in memories. “It was familiar. Apart from that alien part, of course. But… fighting, following orders, being a soldier. It was the only familiar part and I couldn’t give that up. I… I admit there was a time when I-- doubted working for S.H.I.E.L.D. was the right thing to do, but… in the end, it has been Hydra, pulling the threads and causing that dilemma, at least for the most part.”

His gaze flickered to you, worried he said too much. But you just set down your mug as well, wriggling to get a little closer. You hesitantly reached for his hand, surprised he opened it for you. You slipped into his hold, squeezing gently.

“Funny you should say that following orders was the familiar thing and you wanted hold onto familiar… when it feels more like you simply needed to fix all the wrong in this world.” The tiniest shy smile appeared on his lips. “What about now? Do you ever have… second thoughts?”

He shook his head gingerly. “No. I get to do a job that matters, trying my best to fix all the wrong, and work with amazing people on top of that. What’s not to love?”

He met your gaze at those words, sincere blue shining, sending your heart racing. For a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in it, drown. When he added an honest smile to that, you were sure you would get a heart attack. Your eyes flickered to his lips for a split second and at instant, you mentally slapped yourself.

Not happening, ever.

You licked your own lips that suddenly felt too dry.

“Well, don’t tell Tony. His ego is big enough without you telling him he’s amazing,” you said, your voice a bit hoarser than it should be when attempting a joke.

Steve huffed out a laugh, allowing you to breathe in, the strange moment gone.

“That is very true.”

You sat there then for several moments, staring at each other, smiling inconspicuously, no words spoken. It felt nice; especially since he still didn’t release your hand. He drew a circle on its back, that little gesture making you shiver.

He noticed, immediately letting go. You barely held back a whine.

Stupid, stupid-

“I’ll get you a blanket,” he announced casually and your breath hitched. Did he really blame it on cold? You couldn’t decide whether you were glad or not. Probably yes. It was a better option than him realizing your feelings towards him.

A thick blanket landed over your legs in no time. “Wanna watch a movie?”

You looked up at him gratefully and nodded. “Thanks. And sure, why not? You have anything on your list?”

“Do I have anything— yeah, a few…tens. But I let you pick.”

Your mind raced only for a second. “Love Actually. Obligatory Christmas movie. FRIDAY?”

“Yes, ma’am. And good morning, ma’am,” sounded above your head simultaneously with the screen lighting up. You rolled your eyes at the AI’s sass.

Steve slid beside you with a curious smile. “Sam made a reference the other day to this movie, didn’t he?”  

You tried to remember, finding the right memory too easily; the morning Steve had kissed your cheek. You prayed you didn’t blush at the sweet moment you would always cherish. “Oh yeah, he did. You’ll recognize the scene, I’m sure.”

“Okay. Uhm… you mind sharing the blanket for a bit?”

Your eyes went wide, a lump growing in your throat at the idea of that. “Yeah. Sure.”

He shifted a bit closer as you offered him the blanket. His side was touching yours now, sending you into a cardiac arrest. Which was ridiculous. It wasn’t so rare for you to touch – during training, accidental bumping in the mornings when fumbling around the kitchen counter… hell, he had dragged your ass from a mission once, carrying you bridal style. It had been as amazing as embarrassing, feeling his strong arms holding you, his muscular chest under your cheek-

You cleared your throat. “This good?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He took his mug in his hands again and you forced your attention to the movie. Well. You tried.

The thing was, you were pleasantly warm now. There was a nice movie playing, you had talked a bit, getting things out of your chest and… and your eyelids were growing heavier with each minute. At some point, you felt your head lull, falling on Steve’s shoulder.

You woke up with a jolt and your face crimson. “Sorry, sorry-“

Steve’s body slightly shook with hushed laughter. “It’s okay, Warbler.  You need some sleep.”

“People usually sleep in their bed,” you murmured, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your palms.

To your shock, Steve’s arm went to stretch over the backrest in silent offer. Your heart started pounding in your chest. “Come on. I’m allowing you to use me as a pillow.”

This was crazy. Crazy, crazy, insane even.

Let’s do insane, shall we?

“I-I… o-okay. Thanks. But if I droll on you…”

“I let you wash the shirt,” he assured you with a soft smile and you reluctantly leaned onto him, intending to rest your head in the crook of his neck. You chickened out in the last moment.

“Is this oka-“

“Just lie down, Warbler.”

“ ’Kay.”

Despite your heart hammering against your ribcage, you felt yourself drift off in a beat. Steve was providing even more comfortable warmth, pleasant scent of aftershave and a periodic sound of his breathing; it was all you needed to enter the dreamland.

When your hair fell in your face, tickling you, breaking your sound sleep, you felt tender fingers tucking it behind your ear. Steve’s fingertips lingered on your jaw, soft kiss landing on your forehead.

You were sure you were still dreaming, but rather swallowed the content hum that the gesture almost made you release, just in case this was real. You wouldn’t want to scare him away if it was.

“To me, you are perfect,” he whispered to your hair, sending your heart racing.

This should have woken you up. This was a clear hint that your mind was mixing up the reality, the movie and your desires; dreaming.

Except then came another kiss on your forehead and you couldn’t hold still anymore.

You fluttered your eyes open, your pillow suddenly tensing, the periodic breathing hitching, his lips immediately gone.

You raised your head an inch, meeting Steve’s panicked and apologizing expression; the thought of him actually doing it, saying it and what more, meaning it, hit you like a train and you would gladly leave this world that way.

“Really?” you whispered shyly, trying to catch his gaze as he was looking anywhere but in your eyes; until he finally did and gave a little nod, opening his mouth to speak.

He never got to say a word.

You planted a short kiss to his lips, just a feather-light touch ending too soon. He drew in a sharp breath.

“You… you’re perfect to me too, Steve.”

You brushed his lips with yours once more, the most electrifying feeling shooting to your fingertips.

It was nothing compared to when his hand cupped your cheek and kept you on place before you could retreat, sinking his lips into yours deeply, claiming your lower one. Euphoria erupted in your chest, lighting up every cell in your body.

You sneaked your hand to his shoulder, needing a reassurance that this was happening. His fingers tenderly caressed your cheek in return, his free arm wrapping around your waist, sending you into total bliss.

He withdrew an inch to catch his breath, shuddering. You opened your eyes, meeting the lovely blue, now barely visible due to his blown pupils. You kissed him again, his plush lips just too close to resist. Your hand moved to the back of his neck to play with the short soft hair and he caressed your nose with his playfully. Your eyelids fluttered close at the tenderness and you couldn’t but kiss him again.

He hummed contentedly, a low sound deep inside his chest and you felt a pool of warmth erupt in your belly, fighting the urge to climb into his lap and take the make-out session to a whole new level. You settled for sneaking your hand to his chest for now, if only for the fact that your first kiss happened like a minute ago.

It turned out to be a good thinking, because a second later, a voice disturbed your little Christmas miracle.

“Oh, wow,” Tony’s voice reached your ears and you jumped away from Steve as if you got burned, your eyes snapping open.

“Can’t see mistletoe anywhere this time,” Sam snorted, casually walking in front of the TV, only to make you realize the movie was long over.

“Look again, Birdboy,” Wanda hummed and you automatically looked up, indeed finding mistletoe hanging above your head.

How-- when-?

You shot Steve a puzzled look, but he seemed to be equally confused and embarrassed as he had been caught kissing you. Pretty heatedly, by the way. Amazingly. Uhm…

You gulped, gave him a shy smile and raised your gaze again. The plant was still there, but… you noticed a subtle red energy around it as if— you snapped your head in Wanda’s direction, only to find her wiggling her fingers inconspicuously.

You smiled at her gratefully. “Just following the tradition,” you shrugged, sneaking your hand under the blanket to find Steve’s for reassurance. He squeezed back.

“Really? Why didn’t you kiss Natasha like this the other day then?” Clint mocked you knowingly, making your face heat up even more as he joined Sam, both men crossing his arms on their chest in creepy sync.

They looked like disappointed and exasperated parents finding out about their teen kid having a box of condoms stashed in the back of his drawer. Which was the worst analogy that could have possibly popped up in your head, because now you were blushing twice as bad.

“Good question. And Cap, why didn’t you kiss her like that the first time in the kitchen?” Sam added and you honestly wanted to burry your face in your hands.

They knew all too well why. They must have known that this was a brand new thing. So why they were being such shits?

No, don’t answer that.

Felling brave, powered by the Christmas miracle, and hoping you had nothing more to lose since your dignity was in the wind and Steve hand was still keeping yours, you turned to Clint. “You know why? Because Natasha is amazing, but I’m not in love with her.”

You felt Steve’s grip turn crushing at the words and you squeezed your eyes shut, immediately regretting speaking up. Was he about to reject you now? Now, when he knew that you…well, that you were-

“You know why, Sam?” Steve called out lowly, following your example. You waited for the reason, breathless. Please, please, please, do not reject me- “Because I didn’t know she felt the same.”

You quickly turned back to Steve, astonished, your heart swelling. He gave you a gorgeous smile, just a shadow of worry on his face, disappearing when he saw your expression.

He was… was he in love with you too?

One look at him was enough of an answer. Yes. Yes, he was.

You leaned in, pecking his lips softly.

He smiled at that and gazed up, reaching for the mistletoe above your head. You could sense Wanda’s puzzled look, but she let it fall into his hand.

“Thanks,” he muttered, twirling the plant in his fingers before his attention fully shifted to you again. He appeared almost sheepish all of sudden. “If I have it with me, can I kiss you whenever I want? Even after Christmas?”

You giggled at the cute gesture and took the mistletoe from his hand to throw it away, hitting Sam in his face with it by pure coincidence.

“Hey!”

Peripherally, you saw Clint shrug and quickly peck Sam on the corner of his mouth. which was followed by a disgusted noise and loud complaints. The others laughed at that, but your focus was on the man with puzzled and hopeful gaze, whose lips were only inches from yours.  

“You won’t be needing that,” you whispered a silent promise and Steve nuzzled his face in your cheek, smiling, giving you a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“Neither will you.”

---

Much later, when all the fuss fell silent and all presents had been unwrapped, you found yourself talking to Wanda, a goofy smile on your lips.

Looking back, everything started making sense. The little moments, seemingly a game of chance, focusing on you and Steve. While you believed in Christmas spirit bringing people close to each other, you weren’t that naïve.

“Uhm… Wanda?”

“Hm?” she hummed, grinning as well.

“You wouldn’t happen to know about the mistletoe mysteriously appearing and disappearing around the Tower, would you?” The Sokovian sipped her tea, not saying a word and that was all confirmation you needed – it was all on her. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. It was a Christmas miracle working. That you were sitting under mistletoe that morning or that Thor kissed you right in front of the captain. Or that I haven’t noticed Vis’ hat accessory until you kissed him and pointed it out…” she mumbled, her smile way too bright, giving her away.

“Sure. Silly me, of course it wasn’t you. …By the way, did I hit Sam’s face on my own?”

“Nah, your aim needed a little help. You were a bit distracted though, I forgive you.”

You burst out laughing and Wanda joined you. You met Steve’s gaze from the other side of the room as he was getting you drinks and enjoyed the special smile he would only reserve for you from this day on.

The Christmas spirits were working hard this year and you thanked them wordlessly, gently pulling Wanda into a half-hug.

You couldn’t even be mad when Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ started blasting from the speakers and Tony with the others gave you a meaningful look, encouraging you to live up to your nickname and sing along. Especially since it led to Steve approaching you and letting you hid your embarrassed self in his embrace, kissing the top of your head with hushed laughter and mumbled ‘leave her alone’.

“She’s right, you know,” he hummed softly then and suddenly, you were glad no one could see your face for a whole different reason – your love-struck smile.

“Yeah. She is.”

Merry Christmas to me. Merry Christmas to us.

°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴° 

What she said. Merry Christmas to you all (Veselé Vánoce vám všem)  :-* 

Thank you for reading and a like if you dropped one; they made we very, very happy :))

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

Gravity Falls S02E18 - Weirdmageddon Part I

I really like that name for the end of the world. I'm not sure what to expect from this one since this is literally new territory for everyone. My one hope is that Mabel gets forgiven easily but there has to be some drama, either for the twins or the Stans (since that relationship really needs some mending, and the end of the world seems to be a good place for that kind of thing.) I think that's all so let's do this!

If this is the first shot of the episode, things are going to get _weird_.

Wait. Wait. What.

Okay, had to go back and check Bill's summoning circle.

I completely forgot about this but I guess he needs all the symbols for something beyond summoning everything weird into this dimension? But why? Uhm.

Anyway, back in Dreamscaperers I wrote:

Glasses = The ones Stan found in the room with the magic carpet? Question Mark = Soos Ice - Fish with food? > Pine = Dipper Star with an eye  Hand = Whoever wrote the journals considering the symbol on their covers? Llama/Alpaca? Shooting star = Mabel Heart with stitches

Fish with food ended up being Stan's fez. I _think_ Heart with Stitches could be Robbie. Hand is obviously Ford. I'm still not sure about Glasses (they really look like Stan's glasses but... how would that work?) and Star (maaaaybe Gideon? The star appears in the ending cypher in S02E14.) The alpaca/llama and the ice are a complete mystery. Considering everyone of importance is in there already, maybe Wendy is one of those two?

Symbols aside, does this mean that Mabel is going to be missing until who knows when? That's a bit disappointing.

Imagine being able to choose any physical form at all and choosing to keep being a dorito.

Before I paused I was convinced this guy was some weird Nigel Thornberry cameo.

So, Bill has 10 friends, which is exactly the number of symbols in the summoning circle. Huh. Interesting.

Maybe it means nothing but their appearance feels so sudden that I feel they have to be important somehow.

Immersion ruined, the Northwests would never lower themselves and go "downtown"

What a trianglist, she had no problems with Mabel.

I imagine Wendy can't wait to go to college a thousand miles away from her family.

Death, Famine, War, Conquest and Capitalism.

That's horrifying. But he's a dick. What a moral dilemma. Nah, he really deserves it.

Why steal Durland? Huh. Maybe he's also one of the symbols? Or Bill is just being Bill.

Oh, oh, I know what they do!

What an intro, I'm 100% sold.

What can our protagonists do? I guess Ford has a plan, maybe the symbols are for unsummoning Bill and that's why he's collecting them so they can't do whatever ritual they need to do. Maybe Ford and Stan will be in a similar situation that made them fight 30 years ago, but this time they actually communicate and win? Mabel is out so I hope they rescue her (or she rescues herself) before too much plot happens.

I _love_ how much of an effect the changed OP had on me.

After watching 37 episodes with the same opening song any changes are immediately noticeable and it feels _wrong_. What a great way to show how everything is changing for the worse thanks to Bill.

It does make me wonder how Gravity Falls is going to recover though. It looks _bad_, bad enough that in any other show I wouldn't be surprised by a time-machine or a literal genie undoing everything bad that happened. I doubt that'll happen here, since the town itself is so used to the "weird" but if someone dies all bets are off.

YESSSS, Dipper doesn't blame her! I'm sure there'll be some self-blame later on but I'm so glad his first reaction was to be worried.

Why is Soos unaffected? Is it related to his presence in the summoning circle? Looking for unaltered people may be a good way to find who are the missing symbols.

Soos deserved more episodes, what a hero

Has there been any positive romantic relationship in Gravity Falls?

Wendy and Dipper was an unrequited mess, Mabel and all her crushes were all disasters of some kind or another, the less said about Wendy and Robbie the better, and Tambry and Robbie is the result of the twins messing with their minds without their consent. Oh, and Gideon and his murderous crush on Mabel.

I love that tiny shiny dodrio.

I didn't need to know that Bill's hat was meat and bones.

What? No! Warnings later, explanations how to defeat a demon now!

This is the first time he calls Dipper by his symbol, right? He also called Ford "six fingers." The writers really wanted everyone on the same page here about making the relation between the symbols and the characters.

...I refuse to believe that the eye piece meant nothing with how much it has been shown!

Weirdmageddon sounds much better.

Wow. He has been wandering around for three days, probably having to scavenge for food and water. These kids are really going to need a therapist after summer break is over.

For some reason I find that guy more disturbing that most of the weirdness in this episode so far. He just sounds very predator-y.

...oh Dipper, those nachos are three days old at best. So young, so ignorant of the consequences of gastroenteritis.

...of course. I'm glad she's okay. She's been shown as a very badass so it would have been a shame if she was down without a fight.

But, but, rabies.

Can't wait for the weirdmaggeddon to be over and then immediately after everyone dying of infectious diseases.

So, how many post-weirdmageddon dipper/wendy fics did this scene inspire?

Robbie is conspicuously missing from that list

nevermind. Would have been an amazing selfie though, can't fault him for that

Aw. This got me a bit teary-eyed. They really can do anything if they are together.

Shame about Mabel being inside Bill's floating lair completely out of their reach.

What a raw deal, last game I played with twins on it they l– actually, never mind, spoilers. But it was really cool, believe me.

It looks like the mission briefing for a stealth game so, in my case, I'd try to avoid the lights, fail miserably a thousand times and then rage quit. Hopefully Dipper is better at stealth.

Making the world weird?

Wouldn't they know what's going to happen? Since there seems to be only one timeline? Actually, nevermind, I'm too sober to analyze the time travel mechanics of gravity falls.

Time Baby was the most powerful entity in the show so far! Stakes have been raised.

RIP Bodacious T, we never go to know you.

Mad Max: Fury Road, 2015

Two months being a villain and he still hasn't learned to avoid monologuing.

Don't worry, Gideon. It took Steven Universe 6 years to grow a neck, you'll get one someday.

Huh. So Bill manipulated him by using his obsession for Mabel. That's a nice way to explain why it came back after so many episodes without mentioning it too much.

Ugh.

She's a genuine action movie heroine trapped in a cartoon

I have no idea how Wendy manages to get more and more badass this season.

Right!? Right!? Wow.

Holy shit, this really is Fury Road.

that's deep, man

Ah, that explains it. Nothing more dangerous than a philosophy major.

Hatoful Boyfriend, 2014

My mind is exploding right now. I wasn't ready for anime Dipper and Wendy. What are the monkey and kid in the backseat referencing?

Lady Gag– nah, I refuse to use the same joke three times in the same liveblog.

* screams in terror too *

What a shame that we couldn't see the birth of the legend of Soos.

I can't believe Dipper is using the "Power of Understanding" to talk Gideon down.

This is really good. I almost want to joke and say "but it wasn't worth the Wendy/Dipper episodes" but it actually does make them work in retrospect. It's probably the largest source of character growth for Dipper during the show and here's the payoff.

I mean, yes.

WHAT

HOW DARE YOU

GAME IS OVER, AND I WON

NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE FUN

I ALWAYS LOVE CORRUPTING LIVES

NOW LET'S SEE WHICH PINES SURVIVES

well, that's nice.

---

I wasn't sure what to expect from this "Part 1", I thought it was going to be mostly setup. And it had a bit of that, just to show how screwed Gravity Falls (the town) is, but after that it was all action and it was all good.

I think getting Ford out of the way early was a good idea, it removes the possibility of a quick solution. Now Dipper has to figure things on his own. He still needed Wendy to remind him of what he and Mabel are capable of but that's a friend offering help, not "the mentor" giving him the answer to the problem. On the other hand, while Stan hasn't appeared after the goat, he hasn't been captured yet (he's important enough to deserve an on-screen capture, unless it's going to be revealed as a demoralizing surprise?) so I think he'll appear soon since he's just a guy, without any special knowledge about Bill.

Soos really deserves his own show. "The Legend of Soos" Or give Wendy her own show with Soos as the mysterious stranger that appears from time to time to help. Because wow, Wendy is lost in this show, she should be the protagonist of something.

But the star of the show was Dipper talking Gideon down. I _really_ didn't expect that. This is not a show where the protagonists defeat their villains by talking to them (with some exceptions) so I thought they'd defeat him in some other, more violent, way. And the way he uses the "Power of Understanding" to do it (go read Scott Pilgrim)! While Dipper never got to that extreme, he "gets" it and that's just * chef kiss *

I can't wait for the next episode, especially because this one ended in a cliffhanger, so until next time!

[takashi0]

Ship asks: 2 3 4 5 8 11 12 13 15 16 17 18 21 22 23 26 27 31 32 33 37 40 (sorry if this is a lot)

5 and 8′s already been covered so I guess I’ll do the rest lmao. 

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

Arkos - If you’re a RWBY fan then you need no explanation. Jaune and Pyrrha meshed so well together. Pyrrha was powerful and kindhearted and Jaune’s a lovable dork who needed a guiding hand. Had things gone differently I think I speak for damn near all the RWBY Fandom when I say the potential for sweetness and feels would be practically limitless.

Naruhina - I almost never talk about Naruto for a lot of reasons, but I was one of those kids who got swept up in the craze back in the day, and it’s because of that I probably got into anime as much as I had been in the pre-brony era. I’m just a massive, massive sucker for extremely shy characters and it’s because of Hinata. I instantly started to root for her to get her man, and if I didn’t fall off the Naruto wagon near the end of the war I would’ve absolutely lost my SHIT when it turned out that she ended up succeeding! 

...What a shame about Boruto though. 

JohnVris/Con Heir - This one’s gonna get me some shit, I’m sure. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a “Vriska fan” when Homestuck was going strong, but I resolved to reserve judgement until I got a decent ways in to see what the actual HELL all this ridiculous discourse was about, because if there were people willing to defend her then surely there had to be SOMETHING redeemable, right? Turns out Vriska is pretty damn awful, but she was so largely entertaining (up until that business with the retcon and her other self happened) that I couldn’t bring myself to hate her too much (up until you-know-what).  BUT.

The thing I liked most about her was her relationship with John. First she saw him as nothing more than yet another tool in her games with Terezi, and guided him through the game purely for her own selfish ends. But then she killed Tavros and started to regret it, something she’d never done for any other troll she’d ever killed before. Her grappling on whether or not she was justified or should she change was an interesting turn of events and John’s promise of a date to help her become a new person hit me pretty hard, and it made her dying at Terezi’s hands (necessary as it was) even worse.

I don’t care if people say it was strangled by the red string or if John was out of his mind for asking out someone who just admitted to being a mass-murderer, I’m an intense sucker for Love Redeems and a story where a girl driven to toxic influence status by an incredibly hard life (because love her or hate her, Vriska’s life DID suck pretty hard) manages to become a better person for the sake of the guy she loves is brimming with so much story potential it’s downright insane, and if Hussie wasn’t furiously stroking himself off to the notion of making the fandom argue with itself he might’ve found something worth exploring.

Oh right, that already exists, it’s called Darling in the Franxx. Whole reason I even got in was reading spoilers and realizing that it pretty much JohnVris done right with more Robot titties.  Which means I’m counting Hir02 as an honorable mention for this list, lmao.

3. What’s your current OTP?

Arkos. I need to get the gang back together to work on that AU.

Current Runner up is Deku/Ochako because how can you NOT love these two dorks?

4. What’s your current NOTP?

Bakugo/Anyone from MHA. ‘Cause he’s an asshole, that’s why lmao.

11. Talk about your favorite first kiss.

Pyrrha’s sealing of the deal was the perfect blend of joy and dread, because you’re glad it happened but the fact that it happened means you know damn well what’s about to happen next and you’re on the edge of your seat hoping in vain that it doesn’t. 

...It’s a poor choice but it’s the Kiss I explicitly remember the most.

12. Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together?

JohnVris. Because not only was it not even Alpha John, they broke up anyway.

13. Has a ship ever broken your heart?

JohnVris and Arkos, both for very obvious reasons.

15. Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

Naruhina, for reasons I already listed above. Arkos for more or less the same reasons. 

16. Talk about a ship you initially disliked.

NaruSaku. Sakura was just so damn mean to him that I made me baffled as to how people could think they’d work together. But over time she mellowed out and started to not be as bitchy to him (unless he did something legitimately dumb), and it helped warm me up to the ship, leading to the next question. 

17. Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.

NaruSaku. There was a point in time where I switched from NaruHina to NaruSaku because I was convinced by some at-the-time friends that it was more likely to happen for some reason, probably owing to Sakura’s character development into being much less bitchy to Naruto. But then NaruHina happened so I was happy either way lmao. 

18. Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.

see 16. 

21. Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against?

BakuDeku. Bakugo is just. 

A massive cunt.

for the majority of MHA’s run.

Even by standard Shonen Fujoshi “rivalry = eventual romance” rhetoric, this is a fucking stretch and a half considering we start the damn series with Bakugo telling Deku to KILL HIMSELF. 

Yeah yeah, Character development, whatever, if you ship it’s your business but Jesus fuck I’m not seeing it. 

22. Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

If flawed characters are essential to any story, then I would like to propose a writing exercise where you give each half of the ship a significant emotional problem that they lean on the other for and their S/O helps them overcome it. The key is that BOTH of them have to go through this, as it will help increase their bond and make their feelings more believable. 

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing?

Pretty much all the ones I’ve talked about thus far lmao, though in some cases that better writing is just “Make it official already dude.”

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?

As mentioned, make one of your characters incredibly shy and that’ll get me on their side almost instantly. Especially if the target of their affections is secretly mutually pining for them. 

27. Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life?

I spent close to a decade being a Narutard, so flip-flopping between Naruhina and Narusaku was a pretty lengthy experience and probably the closest answer.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.

Another one for RWBY, Black Sun. Since two different species of Faunus means their offspring will be a completely random animal faunus, Blake and Sun will have at least one child who is some form of dog. 

32. Share five must-read fics.

Dude I barely read fanfics at all so I can’t give you anything, sorry.

33. Name your favorite fanartist(s).

Like in General? Or for shipping purposes? 

Either way first and foremost artist for fanart in general is the legendary John Joseco, though he doesn’t really do shipping unless you pay him lmao.

37. Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP?

“Pyrrha doesn’t fucking die” AU. 

40. If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be?

It’s Arkos, I think you can probably guess. 

[inhale-fandoms-exhale-asdfghjkl]

Starkid Musicals Ranked

So I know I've done this before but it was quite a while ago and Black Friday has come out now so naturally I've had some changes in opinion. Also I've got nothing else better to do in self-isolation and I had plenty of time so i thought why the hell not. 

I’m sorry for the fact that this post drags on a bit. I just really love Starkid if that’s not already obvious. Please keep in mind I wrote this at 3am so if it’s riddled with spelling errors or doesn't make sense, please bear with me.

This time I wanted to be really thorough in how i ranked the shows so i went through a few processes. 

First I ranked each of the shows based on the writing, music, production, humour, costumes and the cast’s performances (which is really just criteria that makes a show great for me personally). For each category i gave them a score out of 10 which I then added up and each show what given a score out of 60. 

The results of this were:

Hmb (53/60)

AVPS, Starship, Twisted (52/60)

AVPM & Black Friday (47/60)

The Trail to Oregon (46/60)

TGWDLM (45/60)

AVPSY & ANI (44/60)

MAMD (37/60)

Firebringer (35/60)

To be honest, i was quite surprised by some of these scores. Some shows were way higher or lower than i though they’d be but some were pretty accurate. However, i didn’t think these scores alone really reflected my actual personal opinions of these shows as a whole. There were a few shows with the same scores so I tried to figure out a way to kind of rank them by personal taste while still using the scores. Really all I did was I ranked the ones with tied scores.

HMB

Twisted

Starship

AVPS

AVPM

Black Friday

The Trail to Oregon

TGWDLM

AVPSY

ANI

MAMD

Firebringer

Now I definitely thought this list was much more accurate but I still felt a few shows were out of place. In particular, HMB. A good portion of the reason of why it got such a high score is purely for my love of the costumes. Therefore, I pretty much abandoned all the previous work I did and then just listed them based on my personal enjoyment of each show which actually isn’t too different. Because at the end of the day, no matter how high I score a specific criteria for a show, that doesn’t necessarily mean I enjoy other aspects of the show equally.

For each show, I go into a pretty lengthy description of things I love about the show, commenting on the writing, music, production, humour, costumes and the cast’s performances. I also give provide an MVP for each show which is just a specific cast member or two’s performances that I particularly like to or stood out to me. I also give my favourite song and scene of each show. 

Also this is just MY personal ranking of each show based on things that I do or don’t enjoy about them. I absolutely love every single one of these shows, don’t confuse me being a little critical with some of them as hate or disrespect. Please understand that these are my opinions, which I am allowed to have just like you and I ask you to respect them even if you disagree just like I would respect yours. 

So without further ado, this is my final ranking of Starkid’s musicals:

1. Twisted

In my eyes, this show is quite possibly the closest thing you will ever get to perfection. Whether it’s the soundtrack (BLESS YOU AJ HOLMES AND YOUR RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING SONGWRITING SKILLS) or the acting (DAMN YOU DYLAN SAUNDERS FOR MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH, IT’S REALLY NOT FAIR) or just Nick and Matt’s writing which let’s be honest is always amazing. This show perfectly balances both the comedy and dramatic elements of the story, which if I’m being truly critical, not every Starkid show does. It’s a ridiculously beautiful, heart-warming show but it never takes itself too seriously. It has this amazing ability to have you both laughing and crying at the same time. Aladdin is one of my favourite Disney movies and I have to say it’s an amazing adaptation, it’s legitimately better than Disney’s live action remake in my opinion. Like all of their adaptation/parody shows, Starkid is able to stay true to the original text while also making it their own which I think is what make their shows so unique and refreshing.

MVP: I mean I gotta go with Dylan Saunders. I know it’s an obvious choice but how can I not. I mean I can’t believe it took them five years before they have Dylan a lead role because let’s be honest he’s amazing and he absolutely nailed this fucking role. Not only does he perfect every single one of those heart wrenching monologues/scenes but like his comedic timing is perfect. But Jeff, Joe and Rachael are definitely honourable mentions.

Favourite Song: IF I BELIEVED. If you don’t believe this is the best song on the soundtrack then you can bloody fight me, alright. I’m getting emotional just thinking about this song, just imagine when I listen to it or worse, when I watch the scene.

Favourite scene: I really love the entirety of Twisted with all the other Disney villains but literally any scene with Achmed is very fun to watch.

2. Starship

So I explained this in my original ranking post but I’m going to say it again. This show holds an extremely special place in my heart. It was the first Starkid show I watched after initially joining the fandom through AVPM and AVPS. I honestly couldn’t tell you what my favourite thing about this show is or why I love it so much, I just do. This show was my favourite show (until Twisted was released) and I would literally watch it over and over again. I love the music, I love the writing, and I love every single one of the cast’s performances. I legit have almost close to zero critiques on this show. It’s one of Starkid’s best written and produced productions (I mean the set, the puppets, everything was on point). This is such a hilarious show with some of Starkid’s best and most iconic jokes and yet it still manages to be such a beautiful and inspiring show.

With all this being said, this show is so criminally underrated and I really do not understand why but I guess everyone’s got their own tastes and all but okay. You do you.

Also, just gonna go off on a tangent for a bit. This musical is what made me fall in love with the beautiful, amazing, talented Dylan Saunders. I could not believe that the same man could play the adorable and very loveable cutie pie that is Tootsie Noodles/Mega-Girl and the hauntingly charismatic Pincer who is by the way one of Starkid’s best villains. Yes I said it. Nonetheless 12 –year-old me was absolutely flabbergasted by this man’s talented and really had no choice but to fall in love with him. Apart from Twisted, this is most definitely Dylan’s best performance (Not that he has any bad ones. Let’s be honest, that man is perfect). Legit, I challenge anyone to try watch this musical and not fall in love with him. It’s literally impossible.

MVP: I don’t think I could pick just one, I mean they’re all so amazing. I’d probably have to go with Joey. I think Bug was a great character for him and really showcased his abilities, which have just grown exponentially over the years. It was great seeing him play a more serious role rather than his previously more comedic roles (Ron and Joey) while also getting to goof off a little bit. It’s so fun to watch him in this and I really don’t think he gets enough appreciation for this role. Oh and also Meredith is amazing in Starship. I absolutely love her as Mega-Girl and it’s my favourite role of hers.

Favourite song: The Way I Do. Bro the chemistry between Meredith and Dylan is off the charts and this song just shows it. I love everything about this song. It’s so beautiful, I can’t even. Also not too be too like generic but Kick it up a Notch is phenomenal and one of Darren’s best. Actually this show’s whole soundtrack is probably my favourite of the ones that Darren wrote.

Favourite scene: I don’t think I have a favourite but I love the scene with Junior and Mega-Girl where he calls her a toaster and all that. Some of Brian’s best acting and he and Meredith’s chemistry really is really present here. It’s not often you get to see these two play opposite each other so it’s fun and interesting to watch.

3. A Very Potter Sequel

As a major Harry Potter fan, it’s only natural that I hold the Potter series with the highest regard. Despite the fact that this show is a parody by a bunch of college kids, it literally is a better adaptation than a whole eight-part, multi-million budget film series and that’s saying something. How the hell did Nick and Matt write every single one of these characters more accurately and consistently than professional screenwriters and at times, JK Rowling herself? It’s very rare that you ever hear me say that a sequel (I guess it’s technically a prequel) is better than the original but here we are. Don’t get me wrong, AVPM is iconic™ but this show just somehow improved what AVPM already perfected. The plot was much more fleshed out and every single character was written so perfectly and also everybody was casted perfectly. If you follow me you probably know of my love for Remus Lupin and while his character is AVPS is written absolutely ridiculously, it is one of my favourite things about the show. In this show Remus is written to be like this total mess of a person, who is like homeless and just walks around the school half naked, covered in blood and forces a child to eat a dead deer and is just drunk all time and yet I can just totally accept it. Like if the movies had written Remus like this I’d be like “hmm no” but when Brian Holden does it I’m like “um yes this is amazing”. This is quite possibly Starkid’s funniest show, I literally cry of laughter EVERY TIME. Honestly this show is comedic gold for any Harry Potter fan. From anything that comes of Lupin’s mouth or the entirety of Umbridge’s character to Lucius’s dancing.

This being said, I can totally understand why anyone wouldn’t like this or the other Potter shows as much as the others or not think it’s funny if they’re not a fan as most of the humour is based on knowledge of the original series and obviously this for the other parody shows like HMB or ANI. Nonetheless I still think anybody could enjoy this show and its humour as Starkid pretty much has the same sense of humour running throughout most if not all of their shows.

MVP: Brian Holden. I don’t think I need to explain again. But also Tyler Brunsman and Joe Walker are scene-stealers too. Also Corey Dorris as Yaxley in this show is peak comedy.

Favourite song and scene: okay so these kind of go together for me for this show. The whole scene with Those Voices brings me to tears every time. I fucking love the whole marauders era so them showing Sirius Black seeing James and Lily in the Mirror of Erised is more than my heart can take. Nick and Darren in this scene is just *chef’s kiss* and then you add Brian Rosenthal harmonising in the background, well it’s enough to make any girl break and you bet it does every time.

4. Holy Musical B@man!

Oh my god this is just such a fun show and if it was a person, I would die for it. When I first watched this, I wasn’t that big of a DC fan at the time so I couldn’t fully appreciate it for what it was. It’s actually so amazing and it’s a real shame that it sometimes gets overlooked. Nick Gage’s song writing is actually amazing and I really love this soundtrack. I mean I literally get chills every time I listen to the end of Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight. You know which part I’m talking about.

Also can we talk about the costumes for this show? June really fucking outdid herself with this show, they are literally the best costumes out of the whole Starkid canon and you cannot tell me otherwise. Not only did she nail like the classic comic book character costumes like Batman and Superman, etc. while also making them her own but she also created completely original and amazing costumes like Sweet Tooth and Candy. I wish I had even a small percentage of that talent and artistic ability. Anyway this show is so hilarious and also so emotional at the same time it’s not even fair. I’m not a big fan of Batman or Robin and yet this show almost has me changing my mind. And honestly, Nick Lang deserves the fucking world, I absolutely love watching him act and it’s unfortunate he doesn’t do it a lot because he’s amazing.

MVP: Joe Walker. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Joe play all of his over-the-top comedic roles but I particularly love watching him play a slightly more serious role like this, it’s really refreshing and I really think he knocked it out of the park. Also Jeff Blim as Sweet Tooth is one of my favourite Starkid characters. No joke, 12-year-old me was OBSESSED.

Favourite song: either Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight or Rogues are We.

Favourite Scene:  the whole To Be a Man scene.

“Batman or should I say Butthead”

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh”.

If that’s not comedic gold I don’t know what is.

5. A Very Potter Musical

This show is and always will be Starkid’s most iconic show. I think it says a lot that a silly parody musical put on by a group of college students has been able to inspire a whole decade’s worth of beautiful, creative, crazy works of art which only continues to grow. This show was never meant to become what it did but how lucky and fortunate are we all that it did. I am so grateful that 8-9 (tbh I can’t even remember anymore) years ago I decided to watch a silly musical about Harry Potter because I cannot imagine my life without Starkid in it. No this show might not have the best set or props or costumes or sound/video quality (it was 2009 guys, give them a break) but it is absolutely amazing in every single way and that’s all I’m going to say.

MVP: fucking everyone. I mean I’m around the same age they were when they started all of this and I can’t even imagine being able to create something even remotely as creative and wonderful or having any kind of success as close to that any time soon.

Favourite song: I feel like I should go for a classic like Not Alone but I’m not gonna lie I’m a real sucker for Missing You.

Favourite scene: oh man I don’t know the whole show is so iconic. I don’t know how I can pick just one.

6. Black Friday

I’m sure some people would be surprised that this show would be so high on this list for a number of reasons. Mostly due to the fact that I’ve been known to be quite fond of, and pretty biased towards some of Starkid’s older shows. But I think that’s just because I’m really nostalgic for how the fandom was back 8 years ago when I joined. And also when I joined the fandom, HMB was like our TGWDLM. It was the newest show out and everyone was talking about it. And also this is the show I have been rewatching the most lately and vie literally had the album on repeat for the last month.

A lot of people don’t really like the new direction that Starkid has taken with this show and honestly I don’t get it. Yes, it’s considerably darker than their other shows and while they classify it as a horror-comedy, it doesn’t really have a whole lot of comedy. But in my opinion, I think that’s what makes the show so great. The main focus of this show is the characters – their pain, their desires, their struggles and I think any excess of comedy would just take away from what’s really important. I really love watching Starkid delve into this new kind of story-telling and I think they’re doing an amazing job with this Hatchetfield series. I think this show did such a great show of introducing us to all the new characters, developing their arcs and really establishing their role within the world of Hatchetfield while simultaneously blending them perfectly with the already established characters from TGWDLM. What I really like about this show and even TGWDLM is how the characters are written. They feel so real not as cartoonish as some of the characters in Starkid’s previous shows which are why the audience can really relate to these characters.

Also this editing and cinematography of this show is fucking amazing and unlike anything else we’ve gotten from Starkid over the years. The choreography is outstanding and the musical is phenomenal. This is easily Jeff Blim’s best work and I have a feeling some people might disagree with me on that. The music in this show is so beautifully intricate and the lyrics have so much depth and emotion which I just feel like TGWDLM lacks. I know some people have been a bit offstandish about the singing in this show and I guess I’d have to agree. The live vocals on the youtube version do seem a bit off but I just suspect some cast members may have been sick or maybe they were just having an off day (it happens guys, even to professionals). Also I love the additions of some new members to Starkids, everyone was absolutely great in this show. For some of these actors, the characters they played were completely opposite to roles that they’ve played in the past but they all nailed it – Joey, Jon, Lauren. My only complaint in terms of casting is that I wish they gave Jaime more, while she is often praised for her singing skills (rightfully so), she often gets overlooked in her acting abilities and it would be great to see her play a bigger role in the next show.

Also I get it, Santa Claus is going to High School is very hilarious and great but please don’t make it another Workin’ Boys thing. Don’t go demanding Starkid to make a short film for this too, let them focus on their other bigger and better projects, please.

MVP: this show had some of my favourite performances from many Starkids but if I had to say someone who particularly stood out to me it’s definitely Kim. Before Black Friday, I will admit I hadn’t really seen anything with Kim in it so this was a great surprise for me. I am literally in love with her voice; it’s one of the most beautiful things in this world.

Favourite song: Take Me Back. Dylan and Kim are just amazing in this song I can’t even explain how much I love it. I’m also a major fan of Feast or Famine and If I Fail You. Ooh and Made in America.

Favourite Scene: I really love the scene with Tom and Becky in the movie theatre but I also really love the whole What Do You Say scene, I think it’s hilarious. But I think my favourite is with the whole Black and White scene with the President, Wiggly and Wiley. One of Joey’s best performances in my opinion.

7. The Trail to Oregon

So on my last list, this show was considerably higher but, on my recent rewatch of the AVPM shows and HMB, I’ve realised how much I really love those shows and unfortunately TTO had to be downgraded. Don’t get me wrong, I still very much love this show. It’s one of the most fun shows to watch and has me smiling the whole time without fail. In saying this, this show also does an amazing job of adding in these beautiful emotional dramatic scenes that brings the audience to tears. At the end of the day, this show really is just about family and how important it is to love and appreciate them no matter how insane they are or how much they annoy you. I know Jeff is really beloved in the fandom but I still don’t think he gets enough appreciation for how good of a writer (both script and song writing) he is, as well as an actor. This show is so unexpectedly beautiful and I’m really grateful for Jeff creating this story.

I don’t really think this show gets enough credit for how good its production actually is considering it only has six cast members. This show is proof of how diverse, creative and talented all these actors really are. It’s such a different concept from their other shows and I think they executed it so well.

MVP: Joey absolutely smashed it, I’m sure it’s not easy having to play all these different characters and literally change between them in a matter of seconds while giving each of them their own separate, unique identities. Another performer I got to give credit to in this show is Rachael, When the World’s at Stake is an amazing performance and Corey is so funny to watch in this show. Grandpa is probably my favourite character as well as the son.

Favourite song: probably When the World’s at Stake but also Independence. I cannot possibly estimate how much time I spent trying to learn those lyrics and sing it at that speed and get it right but I finally got there.

Favourite scene: the whole scene when the Grandpa, Son and Daughter are hunting makes me laugh every time, it’s so funny. But there’s something about that scene with McDoon and Cletus that ends with them riding on the horse together that makes me crack up.

8. The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

Okay so I know the last time I did this, TGWDLM was like no 5 or 6 but like it’s been like a year and a half and a lot of my opinions on this show have changed. I’m also aware that by the time the next Starkid show is out I’ll probably also have changed my mind about Black Friday but who knows. I am eternally grateful to this show for introducing me to the amazing Jon Matteson. In a matter of 2 hours, this man somehow became one of my favourite human beings in the world. His portrayal as Paul is just, I don’t even know but something about it just sticks with me and I absolutely love it. This concept of this show is actually so amazing and you really gotta give the Lang’s credit for being able to come up with stuff like this. A lot of the beauty of the show is that it seems like such a simple concept but if you really think about the implications, you can actually understand why it’s so terrifying. Production-wise, this show isn’t anything fancy in terms of set, costumes props, etc. But the lighting design is amaaaaaazinggggggg!

The soundtrack for this show is pretty great but if you’re comparing it to Starkid’s other scores, it’s not the best. I said it before; the music in this just lacks the depth and emotion that is so heavily prominent in the Black Friday score.

MVP: Jon Matteson for the reasons above. And also Joey’s monologue as Ted to Bill gives me chills every time.

Favourite song: I feel like as the show goes on the songs do tend to get more personal, detailed and emotional which I why I probably favour those over many of the songs in act one. Let it Out and Inevitable are two songs in particular that I love and definitely stand out to me.

Favourite scene: the whole Let it Out scene with Jon trying to resist the apotheosis. And also Lauren’s acting at the end of Inevitable is amazing. Her running around the stage, distressed is both so horrifying but also absolutely hilarious.

9. Me and My Dick

I mean I guess I understand why a lot of people don’t like this show but that doesn’t mean I can forgive the fact that it’s so underrated. Yeah the humour is a bit crude and I get that’s not everyone’s thing but literally this show is two and a half hours of pure golden comedy. Honestly, who thought a show about high school kids and their walking and talking genitalia could be one of the most wholesome and heart-warming things in the world. I don’t think anyone other than Starkid could pull of something like this which honestly says so much about them. These people come up with some of the most craziest, outrageous stuff and somehow turn them into beautiful, amazing works of art.

The soundtrack for this show is so freaking good man. And AJ Holmes is literally one of the most amazing and talented people on this earth. How the fuck does he write such good music? I need to know, it’s really not fair. And for all those people who complain that it took Corey Dorris ten years to get a solo, I urge you to simply watch MAMD.

This show doesn’t have the best production and the sound quality is not great but you know what? Fuck you. Because the acting is this show outshines all of that. The energy each of the performers has in this show is crazy and they are all extremely talented. Literally AJ as Joey’s heart is next fucking level. And Arielle is criminally underrated for her role in this. And Nick Strauss is a comedy king. I’ve said it before and will say it again; The Old Snatch and Flopsy are the most iconic duo.

MVP: AJ and Nick. Like I said. Next level and iconic™.

Favourite song: Listen to your heart. But also Even Though. And Finale is a certified bop.

Favourite scene: I love the scene with Dick and Flopsy but I don’t know if it’s my favourite. But one of my favourite quotes is when Dick is talking to Joey about Miss Cooter’s hair and Joey’s delivery of “on her vagina?” cracks me up every time. And honestly there’s not a lot that can beat Brian during Gotta Find His Dick just intensely repeating “Someone tell him where his dick is”. It makes me laugh so hard I really don’t know why.

10. A Very Potter Senior Year

Alright so let me take you back to 2012. I remember the day they posted the video announcing they were not only making another Harry Potter show but that they were bringing back almost every Starkid member. It was actually such a weird time for the fandom because it really did seem like this show was going to be the end of Starkid. When you watch the show, you can see that the actors are not only saying goodbye to Harry Potter and the characters that they had been playing for the last 3 years but also they were saying goodbye to each other. It was heartbreaking to watch then and it still is now 8 years later. 2012 me was absolutely devastated because I had only just discovered this fandom and I thought I would already have to say goodbye to something that become so special to me in such a short amount of time. Luckily for us all this was not the end of Starkid.

This show really holds a special place in my heart, for so many reasons. First off, it was the first Starkid show that I got to watch as it premiered. Second, I was still grieving the end of the Harry Potter movies and these musicals had kind of replaced that for me but then this was ending too. And third, it really just is the most perfectly executed ending to the AVP series.

This show makes me both laugh and then cry and then laugh again and then cry and laugh at the same time. In my opinion, it is one of the best written Starkid shows, on par with the other Potter shows and I think the only reason why it gets overlooked is the fact that it’s a stage reading rather than a proper production. But you know what, considering this show was literally put together in such a short amount of time and the actors literally had a few days’ worth of preparation, they still managed to put on an amazing show. I wholeheartedly believe that if this show had been a proper production, it would be pretty fucking perfect. The soundtrack for this show is probably the best out of all the Potter shows for me. Every one of these songs is a bop and I love them all so much.

Long story short, people need to stop sleeping on AVPSY and appreciate it more.

MVP: Joey Richter. I don’t even need to explain. Just watch Act 2 Part 11. Actually him in the entirety of Act 2. And also that delivery of “losers like us that’s who” just makes me cry every time. How did Starkid portray Ron more accurately in these musicals that WB did?

Favourite song: it’s a tie between I Was and I’m Just a Sidekick.

Favourite scene: The whole scene with the resurrection stone and Everything Ends. Absolute Perfection.

11. ANI

Like the Harry Potter shows, I can understand why people don’t like this show. If youre not a fan of the original text, you probably won’t like the comedy or understand the entire plot or whatever. And honestly that’s the only reason I put this show so low. I have very very little knowledge of Star Wars so pretty much all of the jokes and that go right over my head. However, I still find it very enjoyable to watch and most of that probably has to be credited towards the fact that it has a killer soundtrack and a pretty perfect cast. Also like I said with HMB, I love the rare occasion that we get to see Nick perform. This soundtrack, oh my god, it’s so amazing. Why do people keep overlooking it? I get that it’s different because it’s not the character’s singing it but like that choreography though. Clark Baxtresser has one of the most beautiful voices so you’ll never hear me complaining about a whole score of pretty much just his voice. But that’s just me. I hate how much hate I see for this show. Everyone worked extremely hard on this show, particularly Nick and Matt who wrote the whole thing and the lack of appreciation for it is horrible to see. It’s actually such a fun show, and you can tell the cast had so much fun doing this show because their energy is so great in this.

MVP: Nick Lang. Again, he deserves the world. And Chris Allen is incredible in every role he does but particularly this.

Favourite song: With My Own Eyes and Long Ago and Far Away. I just really love the vocals.

Favourite scene: Nick’s scene as Obi-Wan.

12. Firebringer

CoNtRaVeRsIaL oPiNiOn  but sorry but I don’t like Firebringer. It’s not that I hate it. I’m just not really fan of it or its comedy – mostly because I don’t think it has any. I’ve seen people say that Twisted or MAMD rely too much on using swearing/ profanities for humour but honestly I think that’s more of the case for this show. That’s not to say that there’s not things I don’t like about it. Apart from HMB, this show probably has some of the best costumes. I can’t really fault Nick and Matt’s writing too much but I have to say this is some of their weakest work. I don’t think the plot as a whole is bad I just think there’s parts that don’t work for me or just don’t feel right. And I’m not really a fan of the characters and their development. I never thought I’d ever be able to say that I dislike any role of Meredith’s but honestly I find her character really unlikeable and I know people might attack me for that but it’s just my opinion. I like Zazzalil, I think Lauren did a great job, as always but I don’t know I just don’t think there’s any particular character or performance that really stands out for me in this show. If I’m being completely honest, I have only been able to watch the full run of this show twice, maybe three times and it has been a while since the last time I watched it but if I’m being honest I don’t see myself sitting down to watch it again any time soon. One thing I can definitely praise this show on is the female and LGBTQ+ representation, although that should go unsaid but even in 2020, seeing positive representations of female, LGBTQ+ or POC in media is still somehow refreshing and surprising and ain’t that just a little bit sad?. Another thing I can praise this show on is the music, I actually quite enjoy majority of the soundtrack.

MVP: Both of the Lauren’s. Lauren Lopez because she’s amazing in everything but especially in this, I’m so happy she finally got a lead role, she deserved it 100%. And Lauren Walker is just fucking hilarious. Why hasn’t she been in another Starkid show since?

Favourite song: probs climate change

Favourite scene: like I said, there’s really not a lot that stands out to me in this show so I really don’t know what to pick.

[far-off-flower-fields]

Weird Questions that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? We call elementary school primary school. It depended which teachers you asked, my favourites always said I was “conscientious, kind, and a pleasure to have in class”.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Glass cups or bottles.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I have like 4 looks, pastel, boho, and goth/witchy/grunge, also vintage-inspired which wasn’t mentioned but I love it.

7. earbuds or headphones? Depends on the shape, I love my Razr headset because it doesn’t squash my ears, and I like galaxy bud shaped earbuds, the ones with the little rubber doo-dads that fit actually in your ear. Apple or a lot of older flat earbuds cause me a lot of pain.

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows. Movies are getting longer and longer and my focus is getting shorter and shorter

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rainy days!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? The game of queue-ducking (where you go to the back of the queue to avoid your turn), or dance, or the less strength intensive parts of gymnastics. Or crying, always been great at that xD

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Muesli, or nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I prefer to listen to full albums rather than playlists, but I have a few favourites on Spotify. Born to Run 150BPM, Infinite Indie Folk, Irish Folk: Jigs and Reels, All Out 80s/90s/00s. I also love scene/pop-punk playlists.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key Ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Message Hearts (or anything with that texture), the red pack of starbursts (the UK version is vegan). Does Turkish Delight count because if so then that is my fave. I also like gummies if they’re vegan.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? To Kill a Mockingbird (high school), or The Bloody Chamber (uni), or Hamlet (uni)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? One foot under me, the other foot out to the other side, but both in the same position (if the surface is flat), or knees up.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I own a lot of shoes so there isn’t really a single pair I wear the most. Recently my Air Force 1s, I’m trying to wear them in because the previous owner didn’t so the cause blisters.

18. ideal weather? Cold, overcast, rainy, still. Or without the rain. or snow (as long as I’m not going in the car and I can go crunch my shoes in it xD

19. sleeping position? Either side, but my body is kinda rotated towards the bed so it’s like half way between on my stomach and on my side. 

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebooks

21. obsession from childhood? Animals, dinosaurs, goddesses, magic, crystals, neopets, sims. I still love all of these things, I am a rotating door of obsessions, usually a bunch of the same obsessions on repeat.

22. role model? I don’t have one particular role model, I do have tons of people that I love and respect.

23. strange habits? I have so many strange habits that I have become one myself. Nothing actually stands out though because 99% of it is because of my brain.

24. favorite crystal? rose quartz or moonstone.

25. first song you remember hearing? Maybe Dancing Queen by ABBA, definitely the first I remember dancing to, but my dad loves music so I grew up with a constant stream of it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Suffer xD when I’m able to do so comfortably I’d love to go out looking for pretty stones, and nice sticks with my fiance, also would like to go on picnics with him, or a friend if I had one.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Baking, drawing, crafts, standing in the rain. Everything.

28. five songs to describe you? 6/10 - Dodie Robert Frost - Mal Blum Caught in the Middle - Paramore Side Effects - Jade Bird Snitches Get Stitches - Onsind  Bonus track: The Seed - Aurora I wish I still had the playlist I made of songs I relate to, several of these were on it though.

29. best way to bond with you? Oversharing, or telling me about things you’re into.

30. places that you find sacred? Nature. My favourite spots are little creeks/rivers in wooded areas, but just like, all of it is special and should be treated as such. Also bedrooms.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I think maybe I��m not gutsy or whatever enough, but also unpredictable. I wear whatever I like, and I’m just as likely to cry in all of them as I am to accidentally get in a fight.

32. top favorite vines? I feel so basic because I never really did the vine thing.  There was one that nearly killed me because I literally started to choke that was in some kind of office and the bit like can you run this past me again, and they just fucking legged it past them holding a folder up, Saw it once, never saw it again. Road work ahead. Why you can’t lift a house (might be a tok?) Brass dad and oven kid Look at this graaaaph Never learned how to read I can’t sit I have hemorrhoids The one with the people in blankets bobbing the nana nanana song Fr esh avo ca do Look at all these chickens

33. most used phrase in your phone? I love you - if I had to guess

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? right now, nothing. I often get the old Super Liquor jingle lodged in there though.

35. average time you fall asleep? 6am?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Charlie the unicorn or that one Noodles video by Cyanide and Happiness. Are those even memes?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. I mostly use a bag though since I never go anywhere for long.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea? Usually if you ask for lemonade here you get Sprite which is not lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I had a vegan lemon meringue pie once, so good. Cake is easier to make though, and I can eat more in one sitting without getting sick xD

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Um, the principal in my last year of school got caught for being a peeping tom a few years after I left.

41. last person you texted? My Fiance.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Depends on the rest of the outfit and the weather. I wear Jean jackets most though.

44. favorite scent for soap? I love lavender, or vanilla/candy/fruity/baked goods type scents. I still have a bottle of Sugar Fairy spray from lush from a year ago and I love the smell of that.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy I think.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nekkid?

47. favorite type of cheese? As a kid it was feta. Now I only eat vegan cheese. I was never a huge cheese fan tbh.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Rotten xD um probably a cranberry or something because I’m small, and I’m not a fan of cranberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? An it harm none do what you will. Or treat others as you wish to be treated.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably one of the vines I listed above, either “run it past” or “can’t lift a house” because both of those resulted in crying and choking.

51. current stresses? My cat has been throwing up and having diarrhoea the past week or so, she’s been to the vet, it got better for a bit, but tonight suddenly got worse. Living with my parents who I have a very toxic relationship with. Living in a single very overfilled room. Trying to not spend money so that I can save up to move next year. Nightmares about my trauma. Either the house is haunted or there’s a build up of negative energy (probably that).

52. favorite font? I always liked the look of all of the script style fonts (freestyle, french, lucida, lucida calligraphy, Edwardian, Palace) but they’re not accessible so for anything people will actually see (which is literally nothing) I always go with arial.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Slight rash on one finger because I’m sensitive to what is in a lot of hand washing products apparently (never an issue until the pandemic), one broken finger nail that is a bit shorter than the rest. Not painted nails because energy. I always wear my engagement ring, usually I wear several other rings but with how my skin is being I thought I’d better not for a while.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Bakeries are hell, my circadian rhythm will not adjust to anything besides its natural state for longer than a couple of days at a time no matter how long or hard I try. I can absolutely fall asleep standing up.

55. favorite fairy tale? Ugly Duckling

56. favorite tradition? I don’t have anyway... Yet? Hopefully when I move this can become a thing.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I’m interpretting overcome loosely here, meaning “I have not died from this” - Suicide of my first love - Bullying - 3 different jobs that all nearly killed me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Literally can’t think of one. I’m not talented. I’m passable at a couple of things, but I worked for those things and I’m still not good enough for anyone to confuse me for being talented xD Those things I care about that I’ve worked on a lot are singing, art, languages, crafts? I still struggled to come up with 4. My bad.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Aw jeez xD

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Magical Girl! This is an easy one, give me the powers and the clothes yessss.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Literally sitting here drawing a blank, so instead of favourite here is the first one that came into my head “eyes are the genitals of the head” (may have that wrong, I’m watching the Office for the first time rn)

62. seven characters you relate to? Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Amelie from Amelie Matilda from Matilda Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notredame (also my favourite plush as a kid) Iris - The Holiday Jess - New Girl Amelia Shepherd - Grey’s Anatomy Struggled with this because suddenly I drew a blank and also couldn’t remember who my Fiance was talking about every time he’s watched a character and said “that’s you” repeatedly.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Starlight - Superman Lovers Pump It - Black Eyed Peas I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys All the Things She Said - tATu Doctor Jones - Aqua Bonus: Push Up - Freestylers These are ones  I have memories of dancing to when I was younger so that’s how I picked, but I’d absolutely be a themed night club with different music on different nights.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, which I still play daily. The first I played was MaMaMedia, then Bubblegum Club.

65. any permanent scars? That’s a SORE subject heh get it heh

66. favorite flower(s)? Lavender, rose, peony

67. good luck charms? I usually carry gemstones if I’m needing to be particularly lucky, or sigils.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate anything spicy. I had rootbeer candy that tasted like literal dirt. I can’t eat banana stuff without gagging and getting a headache. I hate anything that is artificial blackberry or blackcurrant, tastes like shitty cough syrup.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Sea Monkeys breathe through their feet, but I remember where I learned that.

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? depends entirely on the colours, I like patterns. but certain stripes do make my eyes feel funny.

72. worst subject? If PE counts, then that. If not, math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I love pineapple on pizza but that’s not weird. Iused to eat cheese and jam sandwiches as a kid though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I operate on how long it has lasted instead of how bad it is, essentially I get so desperate so I’ll try it even though it probably won’t help. I have the resistance of a rhino to most meds.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? No idea, like 4 I think? I did keep them in a weird little box for no reason though because they never got taken away from under my pillow.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I’m a fan of a good mash if it has lots of flavour (like gravy). Otherwise, crisps or fries.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I grew a radish once! Something cat safe though these days, also maybe something heavy, and hard to knock over?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery Store sushi, if it’s just veg.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My only ID is my passport, and it is BAD.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Both.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies (ten million of them to be precise)

82. pc or console? Grew up with PC. Now play my switch mostly.

83. writing or drawing? Both. Wrote more as a kid, draw more now.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Both. But I prefered pollies as a kid

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? Based on my nightmares, stairs.

88. your greatest wish? To live in a comfy house, in the country, with my Fiance, I have travelled the world, we have pets, I can function, we are free.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My Fiance and out animals.

90. luckiest mistake? Can’t think of any, most of my mistakes have been more like bad choices, also never turned out well for me.

91. boxes or bags? Depends what it’s for?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps, or fairy lights. Unless I’m particularly anxious, then overheads.

93. nicknames? None.

94. favorite season? Winter

95. favorite app on your phone? LINE, it has my fiance, and animated stickers.

96. desktop background? Little Twin Stars

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My own.

I never get asks and needed to distract myself so I’m going to just answer these anyway, like a survey or something. Original post by tr33-g1rl