#(which means big trucks and bigger personalities)

[blueikeproductions]

Ok so some more screen shots for EarthSpark popped up to advertise the show.

Seems I was not far off on the Combiner Sideswipe + Grimlock comparison.

They just leaned into a less horrific version of this:

I think this confirms the Cyber Synch thing in show IS the Cyber Combiner gimmick going by Aftermath and Jawbreaker.

Yes the giant purple truck guy is indeed Aftermath.

Which means it’s now confirmed the twink robot is indeed a Quintesson.

Is it me or does the Executioner Quint seem oddly… naked? Maybe he gets his other parts later.

Anyway.

Aftermath is indeed a Decepticon, along with Spitfire, both being Terran Decepticons created by the Decepticons. I guess calling them “Terracons” was out of the question.

One thing that sticks out about Spitfire is her chest:

That’s an Emberstone shard in there, and it visually resembles what was done with TFA Starscream.

And by extension all Transformers in Animated created from Allspark Shards. They really are borrowing fairly heavily from Animated here, the shattered life giving relics being hunted down by both sides. The Allspark in TFA surprisingly wasn’t as big of a factor later on, but the Autobots managed to reassemble it into a Matrix of Leadership style device in the finale. The Decepticons weren’t as interested in hunting shards, Megatron having bigger fish to fry on Cybertron, with the only time he really used the shards was to power the Lugnut Supremes he cloned from Omega Supreme. Starscream got the most use out of the shards, and that’s repeated here with ES Starscream wanting to collect the shards for his own purposes. And like TFA, he’s used two shards already to make troops.

Whether we get more is unclear. As much as I’m not a fan of Spitfire being a clone (?) of Twitch, I’m slightly surprised there’s not a clone of Hashtag to reference Starscream’s connection to her. Oh well, I guess the one genuinely interesting idea Catt did left with them.

I actually kinda find it funny Hashtag lost weight when she became a car instead of a surveillance van. Anyhoo, this suggests the so called secret of Witwicky is it used to be some Quintesson outpost of some sort. This post in particular suggests some sort of Cyberforming at play? Or it’s the interior of a Quint ship. Either way it’s not looking good for what is likely the true final boss of the series.

Going back to the combiner thing, this sticks out.

It’s very reminiscent of Digimon Digivolution sequences, in particular DNA Digivolution and DigiXros.

The earlier Aftermath combiner implies this is the EarthSpark equivalent of RiD15’s Crash Combiners…

But as it appears Thrash & Twitch are combining, and there’s no toys of a Thrash combiner…

We can only assume until the episodes drop what Thrash & Twitch look like combined. Personally I think the Combine ‘n’ Ride would fit, make Twitch look like SuperBike, lol.

[vanguardangel]

if able, may i request a raiden x reader where the reader is just like a personification of a dog: loyal, bold, stubborn, probably ran into a wall at one point without even looking...just a ray of sunshine.

I AM SO SORRY ANON FOR TAKING SO GODDAMN LONG! For some bizarre reason, I've had the worst fucking writer's block for this particular prompt even though it's so cute and wholesome, and AAAH! BUT TODAY IS THE DAY I break through it and finally answer this! Thank ya'll so much for your patience with my dumbassery.

Raiden with a Golden Retriever S/O

(gif origin: https://www.deviantart.com/pituudmc01/art/Raiden-Metal-Gear-Solid-4-Guns-Of-The-Patriots-519844545)

Warnings: Mostly fluff, but there are mentions of war, violence, and vague mentions of Raidan's past which can get quite alarming and gruesome if you research into it.

So, Raiden's been through a lot. Like a lot, a lot, even before he became a cyborg. Between the SEARS program, the memory modification, and the absolute mind-fuck that was the Big Shell incident; it's no wonder our boy here got a tad edgy in MGS4. And yet, here you are, his personal ray of sunshine.

No matter what time you dropkicked your way into his life, Raiden will definitely consider you one of his dearest bonds, even if you weren't romantically involved. He admires your ability to smile despite everything going wrong around you. On his bad days, he may just cling to you, not saying anything, and listen to your heartbeat. You're living proof that the world isn't full of shit. On his worst days; he'll disappear, leaving only a note behind. Don't worry, he'll be back once he gets better control of his emotions. He's not going to risk any harm to his sunshine, even from himself. Especially from himself.

That being said; he will find it immensely fun to pick on you. This man will tease you a lot. Don't believe me? Check out some of the Codec calls in Rising. I swear, he enjoys flustering people (source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srR4aZMTYwE&t=2039s). And being his S/O means you're just a bigger target. Trying to get back at him will just egg him on. Don't be too surprised if you find yourself in a game of "who can get flustered first" on multiple occasions.

Your stubbornness is something that he's both proud and worried about. He's seen a lot of people buckle down when things get really stressful, even off the battlefield. And yet you keep on trucking. To the point, it's worrying. Start pushing yourself too hard, and he's going to start being a bit of a mother hen. Raiden, in canon, is capable of taking people's vitals with a single glance, and he's not afraid to hold that above you. He will match your stubbornness with his own and isn't afraid to get petty. Or physical. Be it setting his own timer for breaks or physically picking you up and pinning you down to rest, he will do it.

Overall; I think you'd be a pretty good fit! A fair balance and keeping yourselves on your toes!

[rin-and-jade]

I'm very newly realized and diagnosed with OSDD (possibly DID since I have very large memory gaps.) I've really been struggling with it and what it means for me. I spent a long time in denial and feeling imposter syndrome, which I still struggle with, but now I have a different problem and I'm trying to switch my mindset.

I've been stressing about the "real me." As in, which of us represents who I truly am as a person? I'm aware that we're all integral parts and very real in our own rights, and logically I know that there isn't a "real me" in the sense that I'm trying to find.

This is something I've struggled with my whole life. It explained a lot when I found out I had OSDD/DID. But now I've been stressing about which of us is the "main" person who best represents who "I" am. And I'm also having trouble accepting that I have more alters than I originally thought (6, compared to the 3 I started with) because that feels like it means I'm horribly broken apart. I know I probably have more that I'm unaware of since my entire life has been horribly, horribly traumatic, but I have no recollection of any of it.

What can I do when I'm struggling with the fact that "I" am a collection of equally valid, equally important parts?

If you need help figuring out wether you are osdd or did, i'll gladly give some insights since i have osdd friends, and i am the did type itself, though i will talk about your main issue stated here first:

Think about it this way, what is the realest mechanical piece that best defines a car? Do you think it is the steering wheel, or the big tires, or how the seats are arranged, or how the exterior looks like,

But, you see, the pieces we are focusing singularly on is not complete, this bit of information can even define other vehicles--trucks as they have the wheel, motorcycles as they have tires too, and etc, so it seems that emphasizing on just one information/characteristic seems to create even more confusion that it needs to sometimes, correct?

The thing is, everything makes up who you are, as to how a car is a car, or how a chair is a chair,, because if a chair doesn't have a back rest now that's a stool, and if the car only has three wheels now that is an auto rickshaw.. there is no dominant characteristic that can define something so complex, that works with many different components.

Let's view things holistically. You and your parts are as equal, and as important, as to how a car is useless without steering wheel, or if you have the wheel but not the tires, nor the engine. Everyone has their own job and strengths, and these personal strengths will back up other weaknesses that might be present (as to how that famous shopping cart with one wonky wheel that is still functional as theres three other wheels backing it up)

In conclusion, if you want to know who is the real you, and accept this fact easier, start seeing things in a bigger picture, there's nothing to find under the microscope,, as those little cells are also a part of the whole image, though does not define one completely. Every part of you contributes to who you are as a person.

- j

[ceruleanmusings]

Big Time Audition - Masons

while going through these ep rewrites i couldn't figure out how i wanted to include "big time audition" since the masons don't meet the guys until a few episodes later and this finally hit me! and it also has finally spurred me to re-write the fic depicting them first meeting the guys because, well, frankly I can do it so much better now and make sure each girl's personality stands out a bit more. but, in the meantime, you can see what they were like before the guys changed their lives. (again this is less a rewrite and more a long scene addition but, hey, semantics.)

@witchofinterest @raging-violets @partiallypearl @myloveforhergoeson

------

The ping of an email sliding into her inbox set Jazz scrambling off her bed. Finally! Setting aside the half-assembled skateboard deck, trucks, and screws she'd been tinkering with, she landed on the hardwood floor with a heavy thud and grabbed her laptop off her desk. The slam of her fingers on the spacebar cut off the quick lick of a guitar solo slicing through the air. High-stepping over Mel's assorted Nikes scattered on the ground, she approached the pocket door in the nearby wall of her room. Extending her foot, she planted it on the door and slid it open.

It smacked against the interior wall with a heavy thud, revealing Sammi perched on the side of her bed, body curled over her legs where she applied nail-polish to her big toe while bending her head to hold her cell phone in place.

"Jazz!" she shrieked, unfurling from her position. Irritation weighed down her brows as she gazed down at the black line dragging across her toenails. "Do you see what you did! Now i have to start all over!"

"No one's gonna be lookin' at your toes, Sam," Jazz said with a roll of her eyes. "And if they're really getting that close, they have bigger problems."

"You're gonna have big problems! It's taken me two hours to get this design right!" Huffing, Sammi reached over to yank sheets of tissues out a nearby box. "God! if i can't fix this you owe me a new outfit."

"How?"

Sammi uttered a world-weary sigh and spoke slowly. "This design goes with a specific outfit. I can't wear the outfit without the polish and i can't wear the polish without the outfit. It doesn't make sense."

"You don't make sense," Jazz grumbled, resting her laptop on her hip. "Who cares if your toes and your eyebrows match?"

"Just because you dress like Tony Hawk threw up on you doesn't mean everyone wants to walk around looking like a grease stain. Some of us take pride in how we look." Sammi patted her large cloud of curly hair to emphasize her point.

"Yeah, yeah, hope when you swallow that pride you don't choke on it. Blue's not your color—literally." Jazz laughed and danced out of the way of Sammi throwing her large, fluffy pillow at her. "Quit with the dramatics! Look, Aunt Kelly sent us another round of audition videos! From Minnesota this time! —I know." Sammi held the same confused expression on her face Jazz was sure she'd made only a few seconds prior.

Why Aunt Kelly and Uncle Gustavo's last star search stop was in Minnesota of all places, she didn't know. Especially in the middle of winter. Uncle Gustavo didn't do well with the cold. Or people. Or cold people. So this was Hell and Hell freezing over for him at the exact same time. He was not going to be in a good mood.

"Hurry up! I want to see if these people are terrible too."

"Relax, no one can be as bad as Opera Guy," Sammi said with a scoff. "For one, he chose a terrible song for his range. Two, I could have done it better. And three, his shirt was untucked, his tie was too short, and he thought square toed shoes fit this century. He should have called me for help. He would've looked at least half-way presentable, which is the best he could have pulled off."

"Isn't most criticism supposed to come with a compliment somewhere."

"Sure," Sammi said with a shrug. "He'd never be able to afford me."

"Don't break your arm congratulating yourself," Jazz said. "Just hurry up!" Her feet slapped against the ground as she ran out of their connecting rooms, Sammi's phone conversation fading behind her as she jumped down the stairs, slamming to a stop on both landings. Navigating around the corner, she burst through the kitchen and went straight for the connected living room.

A stack of neatly folded blankets sat on the nearby ottoman, the creases so sharp it could cut glass. Just the way their dad liked it. A tray filled with a half empty glass of orange juice, toast two bites away from being finished, a mug with a dredge of dark coffee remaining, scattered silverware, and a balled up napkin balanced on a haphazard scattering of cycling and running magazines on the nearby coffee table.

And Mickey moved about straightening it all: adjusting the dented pillow left on the recliner, tucking the transfer board between the chair and end table, moving the lone navy blue slipper—left foot—to sit just beneath the coffee table, pulled the extended foot rest back in, and rolled up the long cord of the nearby vacuum around her arm.

"Hey." Jazz waved her arm, her voice and movement breaking Mickey out of her productive haze. She paused in the cord rolling, eyebrows lifting in a silent question. Or at least Jazz guessed from her head being pointed in her direction; her long locs hid most of her face. "We got more audition videos from Aunt Kelly. The last stop in Minnesota." Mickey's eyes slowly moved from the tray to the blankets to the recliner and back to the tray. "I'll get Mel so you can finish up," Jazz continued, "But Mick, seriously, Dad's not gonna care if it's not all spic and span by the time they get back."

Her mouth twisted to the side and she was quiet as she placed the wrapped cord around the back of the vacuum. Stepping on the petal that unlocked it, she turned to maneuver it out of the room, stopping only to say, "It matters to me" before passing.

Jazz stepped aside. Mickey preferred to keep everything in the right place to make his life easier. Jazz very much preferred that their dad was still around to have a life.

She made a beeline for the garage, a wall of sound knocking into her once she popped the seal on the door leading off the kitchen. Their dad had made it soundproof the day Mel got her first drum-set for Christmas on year. He re-enforced it every couple of years, for their' mom's sake since she worked most nights he said.

Mel's arms were almost a blur with how fast she hit the drums and symbols in succession. Her shoulders rose and dropped and her body moved along to a groove Jazz couldn't hear, half from the steady drumbeats and half from the large headphones Mel wore over her ears. With a grin, Jazz tiptoed forward until she stood behind Mel, able to see the lines of bright purple weaving into her long, dark braids. It was a recent changeover from her usual cornrows. It made playing goalie in soccer easier without having to fuss about her hair. As captain of the team, she didn't let anything get in her way. Literally.

"Yo!" Jazz snickered when Mel jumped at Jazz's shout after yanking a headphone off her ear. The drumbeat finished off-time due to Mel's flailing. Yanking the other headphone off, Jazz jerked her head backward when Mel whipped around with one drumstick pointed right at her nose. "Easy Jack Sparrow, you'll put an eye out."

"You're mixing up your movies," Mel pointed out, curling in the drumstick to spin it around her fingers. Her chest heaved and Jazz didn't need to check her pulse to know it was high. She swore Mel used drumming as an excuse for exercise as well to keep her skills up. As she liked to point out, you can't have an out-of-shape drummer and Mel needed to work twice as hard to get even some semblance of recognition for her contributions to their school's jam band or percussion section.

"Speaking of movies, we have a new installment of America's Funniest Audition Fails!" Jazz wiggled her laptop around as if displaying a prize on a game show. "Come on!" She started bouncing on her toes. "I want to know if they all sing with those accents."

Mel hummed. "That's assuming they're all able to keep time." That was a sticking point for her from the auditions in Salt Lake City, Philadelphia, and Houston. Most of the auditions, really. That even the well-prepared singers couldn't seem to stay on time with the music they chose. They either rushed or dragged, or worse, changed the arrangement to something so flashy it didn't showcase their voice but rather pointed out the sharp strains, the flat hits, or displayed their flaws rather than their strengths. She went on a rant about each location's auditions for days. (Though that could also be leftover disappointment at not being allowed to audition in D.C., even though they weren't accepting drummers.)

"Well, here's the good part! You can take all the videos of the bad ones, explain why they're so bad, and throw in some of your drum reels and send that to Uncle Gustavo!" Jazz said with a sparkle in her eye, a finger pointed upwards in the air. "All Mom and Dad said was it wasn't a good idea to audition. They never said you couldn't show them your reels by accidentally sending them a link in an email you never meant to send."

Chuckling, Mel grabbed a gray towel with faded Gatorade logos on them and wiped sweat off her brow. "Remind me to hire you as my lawyer."

"Why? They can't get mad at you for that."

"No, but they'll be impressed with how much you can twist their words to fit your needs before they ground you for a month."

Shifting her finger from vertical to horizontal, Jazz wiggled her finger between herself and Mel. "You mean ground us."

Mel laughed and shook her head; her braids swayed as she swung one leg over her stool. "No, I mean you. I'm an innocent bystander."

"Annnd that's exactly where you'll stay if you don't take this chance," Jazz said. Mel's smile immediately dropped to a frown and she scratched at her hairline. "It's an opportunity of a lifetime. You want it bad, so you keep saying, but you're going to let something as small as an email stand in your way? What's that phrase?" She tapped her chin. "Ask for forgiveness rather than permission?"

"Will that still hold up when I shove this down your throat?" Mel asked, waving her drumstick at her.

Jazz grinned, pushing it away. "You know I'm right!"

"No, you're annoying."

"Same thing!"

Laughing, Jazz ran out of the garage, making it to the living room in time for Mel to jump onto her back and the two to slam down to the couch. Jazz managed to move her computer out of the way in time, twisting herself to take the blow of the soft landing. Sammi and Mickey trailed in a few moments later, squeezing themselves onto the couch in their usual order: Sammi on one end, then Mel, Jazz, and Mickey on the other end. Stretching her legs onto the coffee table, crossing the angle with the thin metallic red band over the other, Jazz balanced her laptop on her lap and pressed play on the video.

They laughed, cringed, groaned, and booed through the clipped together reel of auditions. Some people were flat, some were sharp, some didn't even sing, instead choosing to do an interpretive dance about acid rain and a mime act. Unsurprisingly, Gustavo whisked them off the stage fast yelling about how a mime can't have seriously tried to audition for a singing competition. (Plus, he found mimes creepy.)

One girl stood out, someone named Jenny Tinkler, simply because her audition started with her taking in a deep breath and then the shot cut to a firefighter using a fire extinguisher on curtain, some tiles hanging from the ceiling, the recording tilted, a few holes in the wall of the stage, and Jenny running around with security guards chasing after her all the while screaming "But I'm gonna be the next Gwen Stefani!" Kelly could be see in the background, wiping leftover extinguisher

"Whoa," they girls uttered in unison.

"She should come with a warning label," Mel said.

"So should her outfit," Sammi said. "Bows that big only belong on big presents."

"The dog was cute though," Jazz said. They all voiced their agreement as she fast forwarded through the next clips. It was a blur of color, of scuffles, of someone jumping off the stage, of—

"Wait! Go back!" Mel jabbed at a button on the keyboard, sending the reel backward.

"Hey!"

"Just—look!"

She hit another button and the video started playing again. A boy walked on stage wearing audition number 810, wearing a gray sweater and brown pants. He introduced himself as Logan and, instead of singing, started beatboxing.

"Not bad," Mel said after an approving hum.

Gustavo didn't agree by yelling Logan off the stage like everyone else. Mickey made a noise of sympathy at the zoom-in on Logan's shellshocked expression and robotic walk out of the room.

811 was next, a boy in a blue hoodie named Carlos who swung the microphone around until he farted into it, causing Jazz and Mel to crack up and Sammi to utter a sound of disgust.

James was 812, a tall boy with a confident stride and his chin held high. He took his time before he started, looking at his feet, taking a breath, and positioning the swoop in his hair.

"People say I'm the life of the party... 'cause I tell a joke or two..."

"Wow." Sitting next to her, Jazz caught Mickey's soft uttering of awe. And, out the corner of her eye, she watched Mickey sit up straighter and lean closer to the screen.

"Sam?" Jazz appealed.

Sammi nodded once. "He's good," she stated, running a ring along a chain around her neck. And she'd know, she was born with near perfect pitch. Which she loved to remind them about any chance she got. Which Jazz understood, despite how annoying it could get. Any way for them to be different.

"So Minnesota does have some talent," Mel remarked.

Not that Uncle Gustavo agreed with them. Before their very eyes, he started shouting about how the James guy had no talent (Mickry gasped at that) and how he was wasting his time. Then all hell broke loose when some blond guy sporting some impressive eyebrows came into the shot, yelling about Uncle Gustavo not having any talent and then singing about how he was a "giant turd" which started a brawl with security guards.

"Whoa! And I thought people from Minnesota were supposed to be nice!" Jazz said between her laughter which started up again when an older black woman started beating up the security guards with her cane.

"Uncle Gustavo kind of deserved it," Mel said. Sammi nodded in agreement.

"Let's see it again!" Jazz went backward on the clip only to jerk out of the way when Mickey's arm extended past her face, her cell phone in hand. "What the-?" her cry was cut short at the snort she emitted when spotting the deep disapproving frown on Mickey's face. "Oh, this'll be good."

With a sigh and half smile, Mel took thr phone out of Mickey's hand and held it up to her ear. Jazz leaned closer to listen, the buzz on the other end trilling three times until it was picked up.

"Hey Mel," Aunt Kelly greeted her warmly. "Hey girls. What's up?"

"Mickey's mad at you," Mel singsonged.

"How? What did I do?"

"We saw the auditions. Mickey's mad you didn't pick-"

"The hot guy," Jazz cut in.

"The hot guy," Mel repeated, "812."

"That was Gustavo, not me. You know I don't have much of a say."

"Then how do you call yourself a talent scout?"

They didn't need to see her face to know she rolled her eyes. "Look, Gustavo's looking for a certain thing and he didn't have it. So Mickey can be mad at him."

"She is. You should see her face."

"Send it to me. I'll show him."

Snickering, Mel took out her phone to snap a pic of Mickey's still present frown, now with her arms crossed, and quickly sent it over. "For what it's worth, if he went this far and still didn't find someone, that guy may be his best shot."

"Try telling him that."

"We will! We can spam him!"

"Jazz."

"I said spam him. We won't do anything else. This time. We got grounded hard for signing him up for that toupee of the month thing."

"You. You got grounded," Sammi, Mel, and Mickey said in unison.

"Anyway, he seems to have his mind set. I'll try talking to him. He might not want him after being escourted out by security."

"Or, maybe that's the fire he's looking for!" Jazz said. "Just think about it! He'd have a built-in bad boy type!"

"We'll see. I talk to you girls later. I think he's about to yell at the bellhop. I love you. And stay out of trouble."

"We always do," they chorused before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Jazz drummed her fingers on her laptop, a slow smile pushing onto her face.

"Oh no," Sammi groaned at the sight of it.

Mel sighed. "You gonna order something?"

Jazz nodded.

"You gonna send it to Uncle Gustavo?"

Jazz nodded again.

"Are you gonna send a mime to glare at him?"

"Nah," Jazz said, shaking her head. "I could send Mickey to do that for free." She laughed, leaning out of the way of Mickey's attempts to hit her with a pillow.

"Well whatever it is, I'm not going down for it this time," Mel declared. "...Let's go to the library and use their computers. At least that way the IP can't get directly traced back to us."

"Good idea!"

All at once, the girls lept off the couch and raced each other for the front door.

[xbeezchaos]

Bpd! Scara x Reader pt.6

When you remind him that you have other friends

Please keep in mind I don’t condone self diagnosis, misdiagnosis, romanticization of mental illnesses including the one I’m writing about. I’m simply projecting my own experiences and thoughts onto a fictional character for y’all to enjoy. Readers gender neutral as always unless I’m filling a request.

You had been chatting with Scara about some things, no real set topic just loosely going from topic to topic as you’d both normally do in your free pass time with each other.

You showed him something on Instagram that he didn’t quite understand. So he laughed about it awkwardly before shooting a quick response.

“Well, i know nothing about that so it can’t be related to me.” He said this in hopes to clarify that he didn’t understand and gain an explanation. To him it seemed like a ‘This is so you’ thing but it really didn’t make sense to him so he was now lost. As he sat there awaiting your response. You looked at him almost as confused as him with a small smile.

“Scara, you know I have other friends, right?” You laugh at him and don’t take notice to the switch in moods for him. To him this was much bigger than it should’ve been. He knew with everything rational in him that you misunderstood what he meant, and that you didn’t mean to hurt him.

But his emotions couldn’t process that. So he tried brushing it off to quickly push down his emotions that were now beginning to bubble underneath his skin like an unruly raging bonfire. He waved it off towards you and just played along. Not pushing any further on what he was trying to ask and just moving on. But even as you kept talking. And things got quiet he couldn’t help his train of though traveling back to earlier, and what you said.

“Scara, you know I have other friends, right?” Replayed in his mind, a deafening, endless loop. Each time it repeated it slowly started to change. The words moving around to what his emotions heard and could grasp from what you had said.

And soon the loop would just start going to:“I have other friends.”

And once he hit that point he couldn’t stop the spiral that hit him like a truck. The “What if” questions started coming out.

He started to become visibly distressed and you took notice, trying to figure out what could’ve possibly caused such a mood change in him.

“Scara? Hun are you okay?”

“No, what if you don’t need me, and I’m not good enough? You have other friends which means I’m just a temporary person in your life cause there has to be someone better than me that you want to spend your time with and I’m not that person!”

At this point hee stood up and started pacing, walking in circles around the couch and yelling while taking moments to stop and look at you. Then he paused again when he reached your spot on the couch and looked at you, his face riddled with anxiety, frustration and what looked to be tears pricking at his eyes now.

You sat silently, unsure of what to do since you weren’t sure how he’d respond. But none the less you reached your arms out, holding them open for him to take with a sincere look on your face.

“Do you want a hug? I know it’s not much but you might just need one.” He stared at your out stretched hands, the frustration on his face becoming more evident for a moment before he took a deep breath and took his place in your arms. He hugged you tightly, and you returned it. You gave him a big squeeze and you could feel his body tense then relax under your touch. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, you could feel him begin to shake, and soft sobs came from him as his head lay in your shoulder where you couldn’t see him. After a few minutes he sat back up to face you, he took a big deep breath and started at you with frustrated, tear stained eyes that smudged makeup and eyeliner on his face.

You could only imagine the damage that did to your shirt, but at the moment it was the least of your worries. Your emotional friend was top of the worry list and trying to understand why he was upset and joe to help fix it was really bugging you.

“I want to be the best person you know. If I can be pushed aside then what’s the point of my existence here?” His voice sounded almost defeated, but he had an underlying feeling of anger. In his mind, if he can be replaced he should leave before it can happen.

“Scara, you are one of the best people I know. You’re literally my best friend. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by what I said. It was only a misunderstanding, ok?” You give him a sincere smile and brush the hair out of his face, and wipe at some of the smudged makeup on his face.

He nods, sitting up fully and pulling away from your arms.

“It was a miscommunication, right. My feelings were hurt cause of it, which is ok. And now that it’s sorted out I feel better..”

You watch as he explains his feelings to himself, he was staring at his hands while he did so. You’d recently learned this was a part of his new therapy skills in the works. So he’d often talk to himself or write down how he’s feeling after conflict of any kind to practice it. You found it strange but knew he needed to do it until he could do it automatically.

“You stupid bitch!” He picked up a couch cushion and hurled it at you as quickly and as hard as he could. You fell back with a yelp and put your arms out to defend yourself as he continuously went in with the same cushion, hitting you and laughing while he did so.

“Shut up, twink. That’s why your Make-ups ruined!!” You yelled in between hits. When he calmed down he opened his phone and checked his makeup, to which he gasped and hit you with the cushion again before rushing to go fix it.

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: training day, training day we're all here for training day. How are we all doing today?

Antho: it is 7:30 in the morning

Neta: yehhhh sorry about that but I have to train everyone and teach them how to close and open my store. So unfortunately for you...Antho. You also have to learn how to open.

Anto: *huff*

Neta: great! The mall is closed. It opens around 10:00 but we have to get here around 7:00. The first thing that I or mahi does is count money, fill the registers. While you guys have to unpack inventory, unload inventory from the trucks annnnd clean up the store. So that means folding shirts, picking up miscellaneous items. Make it look nice and presentable.

Vinny: what do we do first?

Neta: so what we usually do first is to fill the registers. So let's just go to the back here where the money machine is.......It's also my office so if you need anything feel free to come back here. The managers are in charge of withdrawing the money. You guys are responsible for depositing the money....so we usually get $100 worth of 20s for each register $50 worth of 5s, 10s we usually get $30 worth and and another $100 worth of 1s

Fugue: is that the amount we have to do every time?

Neta: this is usually the amount we put in but it can also change depending on how busy it is or how slow it is. So you know if you guys ever become a manager just go with your hunch and how much money you need the day.

Neta: All right so we got the money. Put them in the registers. Safety rule you can never deposit or withdraw the money by yourself. You have to have someone with you at all times just in case something happens.

Anto: like what?

Neta: well a lot can happen

Vinny: I knew this guy who used to stay in the store until closing and when employees were taking the register to the back. He'd push them and snatch the register and run out the door.

Anto: I'm assuming that person was you

Vinny: actually it was my babysitter. He used to watch me and my sister's all the time, he was a nice guy

Neta: ok let's change the subject so after we put in the registers. We go back to the back, the second door to the left next to my office is receiving I also call it storage and you can call it whatever you want.

Naomi: this is a lot bigger than I expected

Neta: yeah it is. We keep boxes back here. New releases, old releases, limited releases

Fugue: what happens when it get overcrowded?

Neta: usually when it gets overcrowded we have a big sale. So we don't do this every morning but this morning we had a truck today. So we go over here......... Lift up this door and you can see the cargo entrance.... It's only a few boxes.

Antho: and you expected to unpack all this?

Neta: No, you have to unload and then unpack.... And their specific ones that you can unpack and then the rest you can leave in the back. Looking at the labels you only need to unpack the 15 and keep the 20 in the back....ok... I'm going to split you guys into groups Vinny and I are going to stay back here to unload fougu you can unpack the items.

Vinny: great this is going to be easy.

Fugue: do you provide a box cutter?

Neta: yep I got a whole desk full in my office just to pick one out. Everything with a blue label we open up immediately. Anything with an orange label we don't open until the set date on it.

Vinny: what about the pink label?

Neta: those we don't open up until next month Those are splat fest tees.

Antho: splatfest tees??? So if we open those boxes we know which splat fest is going to be next

Neta: yeah totally... You also get an automatic termination and blacklisted not only from all the stores in the mall but also around the city. So.............you want to play some stupid games and win some stupid prizes? I'm serious like I'm not even allowed to open it I had to sign a waiver and everything

Antho: that sucks

Neta: yeah I know.....ok....you and Miss Naomi..... you're just going to have to pick up the store You know clean it up. Fold shirts. Organize everything... We do have a system. Everything with the green tag has to be folded. Everything with a red tag is hung up on the rack. Everything with a purple tag is hung up in the front of the store. Any questions?

Antho: I have a question

Neta: what's your question?

Antho: what happened to your ear?

Neta:.............................................................. Do you have any questions regarding your job?

Naomi: is there the proper way we have to fold the shirts

Neta: Great question. we fold them into rectangles so it's small and it gives us space for more shirts. So fold two times on each end....... and you put it together and.......here we go! Make sure that the band or logo is visible. And for the hanging clothes he puts the smallest in the front and largest in the back. ..... Anything else?

Antho: hu-

Neta:No great........ Antho come with me for a sec.

Antho: Am I fired already?

Neta: No, you're not fired and just going to need to ask a quick favor. Listen........You can be as mean and rude as you want to be with me. You can't hurt my feelings....* Inhale*....... The customers on the other hand..........unless they deserve it and trust me there are going to be some people who definitely deserve it but for the ones who don't.... please be nice. Okay?

Antho: ......................

Neta: and also be nice to your fellow employees. I know underneath this little meanie personality you have is a nice kind person

Antho: No, there isn't

Neta: Yes there is and I can sense it and you know what goes great with a nice kind person?

Antho: a reality check

Neta: No. Another nice kind person to keep them company........That's why you'll be working with Naomi! Yayyy!!! you two are going to be sharing the same shifts!! You're going to have a shift buddy.

Antho: whaat? Why?

Neta: because..... She's a nice girl. She's really sweet..... and she's also kind of sensitive and I don't think she'll be able to handle some of our.........

Antho: asshole customers?

Neta: yeah ............ Just be there to back her up if needed. You know I don't want anyone making her cry. Can you do that for me? Can you do this one small gesture or are you just incapable of kindness?

Antho: ..........ugh..... fine I'll help her.......... You better pay me extra

Neta: I'll make you an employee of the month.

_______________________________________________

Antho:.....................

Naomi:....................

Antho:.......so............ What's your deal?

Naomi: hm?

Antho: why are you working here?

Naomi: oh...uh........um........I just....... wanted to get out of the house....... ...... yeah

Antho: hmm k..................* Inhale* * exhale*.........(Tap ..Tap.)................ So like you live around here?

Naomi: oh yeah.....I-i do It's usually just one train stop......

Antho: hmmmmmm...... I know you said that you weren't allowed to like disclose what manga you used to work on but like

Naomi: I work on "turf war heart break" and " I love princess Nami "

Antho:I think I saw Vivy read one of those...hm... Probably not....... So you got permission to talk about your work and you won't get fired or anything will you?

Naomi: ............ I only said I wasn't allowed to disclose because I was embarrassed...... I didn't know how y'all would react.

Antho: oh.........well.... They're popular books..... So do you write it or draw it or?

Naomi: I just do outlines for the books That's it............

Antho: that's cool....................

Naomi:........................... I actually work on my own stuff when I'm free.

Antho: oh..... So what's your book about

Naomi: well I'm still working on it. I still haven't gotten the plot or the characters. I'm so just writing ideas down. It's nothing. I'm sorry I'm actually just-

Neta: so how's everything up in the front?

Naomi: * gasp* uhhhh....umm

Antho: we're finished

Neta: I can see that the store looks great! Good job you two

Antho: hum

Naomi:. Hmmm thank you

Neta: well it's around 8:00. Everything is unloaded and unpacked. We just need to take it from the back and put it to the front. We'll do this until 9:45

_______________________________________________

Neta: We're all done and it's........ Oh it's only 9:30. Usually that takes longer

Fugue: it could be because you have more people here

Neta: yeah, that's true..... Well while we wait, I guess I can teach you guys how to use the register. It's not hard at all let me put it on training mode and-

Warabie: GOOD MORNING!

Seth: hey guy .....

Neta: Good morning ... . Hey Candi.. ..... You look..... You look great babe....... Look at you you're glowing

Candi: uh huh .... yeah.......* Mumbling*

Antho: did she get hit by a bus this morning? Geez

Neta: shh!...

_______________________________________________

Neta:ok we're going to learn how to use the register warabie is going to be right here to help you

Warabie: hi guys

Neta: alright so .... Vinny why don't you go first?

Vinny: alright!

Neta: Great! I'm going to be customers and hand you this item right here so can you ring that up for me?

Vinny: ok...... That will be....... $8 cash or card?

Neta: I'm going to split it

Vinny: ok.. so how do I-

Warabie: so you're going to go to split payment. If they give you cash first you press the cash icon you put in the exact amount that they give you. If they do the card first you go to the card icon and then you put in the exact amount they want to pay. Once the card is approved you take the cash and put it in the register.

Vinny: ok ...... So how much do you want to pay in cash

Neta: I'm going to pay... $4 in cash the rest of my card

Vinny: ok great....... All right, that's something hard to do

Neta: see it's easy. Antho You're up next

Antho: alright...... How can I help you today?.........

Neta: well I like to return this please

Antho:.....k........... I'm assuming you're returning these short shorts because it's not your size.

Warabie: *snort* ha! Hehehe I'm sorry....hehehehe.. that's not funny hehe....*ahem*...... be serious Antho.

Neta:................... Just return it

Antho: I'd love too but I don't know how to do that. So I guess you're stuck with this. If it makes you feel any better, we do have some fishnets and boots that will look great with this. I think you look good in it! you know..... In dim lighting.

Warabie: hehehehehe hehehe....

Neta:.................................

Antho: you might need to shave your legs though

Warabie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Neta: okay.... okay!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!........ I get it just return it.

Warabie: ok..uh ahhah.haha.. I mean I think you'd look hot in it..

Neta: warabie!

Warabie:.. right! sorry....So you press return.... you scan the receipt and you scan the item and it'll give you an option to put it back on the card or to return it to them in cash. If they don't have a receipt with them, you can press this button right here and tell them to insert their card and you can find their last purchase with the store. When you find it highlight and click return. There's also work when they don't have the tag on it.

Antho: All right, great. Here you go sir. ... Your money went back on your card have a pleasant day

Neta: thank you.... You could have done that without humiliating the custome

Antho: I thought you said I can't hurt your feelings

Neta: you can't, but you might hurt someone else's feelings so let's not do this to an actual customer.

Antho: All right, I won't do that.....to their face

_______________________________________________

Neta: All right so that concludes today's training. Tomorrow's training day you guys are going to do that....... .... Well....you're actually going to do that at home...... I just want you guys to watch five short videos. It's just going to talk about safety regulations..... Our tolerance policy...... One safety and one sanitary video and the last one is just going to talk about employee benefits and whatnot.

Vinny: I have a question about benefits?

Neta: shoot

Vinny: so like do you provide the benefits or does the mall itself provide the benefits?

Neta: It's the mall. The mall provides the benefits for everyone who works here, including me.

Vinny: do they cover dental?

Neta: yes ... All the information is in the video

Vinny:... Medical expenses like injuries like a broken arm or stitches

Neta:.......... Yes they provide all that......Yes

Naomi: * whispering whispering*

Vinny: yeah I need that too.......... Gender affirming health care

Nate: actually they do, yeah! You can get more information from the videos..... All right! So I guess we're done for the day. The store opens in 20 minutes so uhhhh you guys are free to head home. Enjoy the rest of your day or you can stay until we open and complete your whole shift up to you.

_______________________________________________

Antho: ...*huff*.............hey

Naomi: hm?

Antho: you said you were working on your own book earlier

Naomi: yeah.... it's.... it's still in the development stage tho so. . Yeah

Antho:hmmm what about you puffy you have a hobby or something

Fugue:..... Don't call me that.... If you must know, I enjoy making ceramics

Antho: That's lame. I don't care

Fugue:...... Well then you shouldn't have asked

Antho: I thought you were going to say something interesting

Fugue: well it is interesting if you just let me finish.... I'm actually planning on making my own dish set for my drom room I even made one for my future roommate

Antho: uhhhhh Don't you play video games or some shit like a normal person

Fugue: I do... I'm normal...I ........ I don't have to prove anything to you!

Antho: oh shit! He's actually puffing up! Heheh

Neta: awwww look at them. They're getting along

Candi: uh-hu

Neta: I guess he's making friends in his own way....... Naomi seems to be opening up a little too........ Can't believe I'm going to have a new crew coming next year....... I'm going to miss you guys.

Candi: uh-hu

Neta: I mean that doesn't mean I'm not going to visit. Of course I'm going to check up on my old store and see you guys. I can also share shifts between stores but I don't know how it's going to work out. I have to drive 5 hours but you know it's worth it to see you guys I love-

Candi: Neta can you shut the fuck up for like 3 seconds? God.....why are you in such a good mood!?

Neta: well......when my shift ended I was going to taste test wedding cakes with ikkan.....I guess I'm just excited. I'm sorry....... I know you're tired.... You want to go home early?

Candi: no .......*ugh*.......mmmmmmmmmm....... I'm sorry......*crying*...... I'm just so fucking tired..

Neta: oh babe come here.......

Candi: *crying*.... I wanted chocolate waffles this morning..........

Neta: you did? Awww... What happened?

Candi: *crying* and I told Donn to go to the store and and and he bought back blueberries ones!! *Crying*...... I told him I didn't want those! He said that's all they had!!! He's fucking lying!! I know he is he picked up the wrong ones!! My morning was ruined *crying*

Neta: ohhh I'm sorry that happened

Antho: what's wrong with her?

Neta: hush....she's pregnant

Antho: that explains a lot.

Neta:..................... Go home

Candi: and this is one of those rare fucking mornings where I'm not sick..... It was my only decent morning and he fucking ruined it!!!!!! *Crying*..... this sucks... I don't like being pregnant.....*sniff*.... I mean I do. I love it..... I'm making life........ but you know.....*sniff * I just *crying* I'm so tired of sweat pants.....

Neta: ohhhhh*heh* I'm sorry........ You sure you don't want to leave early? You can go cake sampling with me.

Candi:...*sniff*........hmm ...ok .......

Neta: ok...(Peck).... Why don't we leave extra early and we can get you some maternity clothing?

Candi: you mean those stupid moo moos no..... I got enough of those from my mother-in-law.

Neta: we can get you a nice sundress perfect for spring.........huh? Doesn't that sound nice?

Candi: yeah......*snort* ok ....

Neta: ok....

Antho is the new work child that Neta has adopted. But he has to share custody with @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 26 - New Year's Day

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 25 -- Part 27

Summary: The morning after the New Years party, the kitchen gets rather crowded...

Warnings: mention of eating disorders, mention of horrible parents and divorce, and also chaos. This is a kitchen scene, after all.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: So this includes some talk about eating disorders, some jokes, even. Obviously those are always very personal, so if some of this makes you go 'that's not a realistic thing to say', please remember that for some of us, it absolutely might be.

@geralts-yenn @summersong69 @peaches1958 @fvckinghenrycavill @keanureevesisbae @livisss @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos @deandoesthingstome

"Good morning." If anything, Geralt sounded a little tired, but that was all. He looked around the still mostly empty kitchen, where his greeting was met with a more hungover-sounding growl. Leon looked like he'd seen better days, for sure, but the most striking thing about his presence was the absence of Ariel. 

"You still struck out last night? Man, you- ow!" Dani elbowed Mikey in the ribs to shut him up - a strategy that worked perfectly - before looking at Sol and rolling her eyes. 

"Don't act all high and mighty, ladies - please move, too," August said as he came up behind them, moving to do what no one else seemed inclined to do: make coffee. "I know how you talk about us." 

"In private," Anjelica countered. 

"In excruciatingly graphic detail," August snapped, raising his voice to a point where apparently Leon's hangover couldn't handle it.

"Shh," he groaned miserably as he let his head hang. August scoffed. 

Solveig and Anjelica shuffled to the other side of the kitchen.

"We can't fit sixteen people in here," Sol noted casually.

"Well, for starters," Mike said with an unbearable smirk, "it's fifteen at best. Right, Leon?" 

"Mike, don't be a cunt," Marshall said behind him right as he swung his hand into the back of Mike's head. All heads turned to him immediately. He looked like shit - really, any other way to describe it would by no means cover just how terrible he looked. Now, it was just a matter of time before someone would bring up what happened. 

The girls watched in awe as none of the guys said anything. Even when Elena and Sherlock, and later Charles and Sloane came into the kitchen, everyone pretended like nothing had happened, and Marshall's face didn't look like a raccoon that had been run over by a monster truck. 

"I'm sorry, this is nuts," Anjelica snapped after a while, as she tore herself away from August and walked over to Marshall, who had slumped down in a chair. 

"Ange," Sy said from the doorway leading into the kitchen, "before ya open that can o' worms… Fourteen people can't cook no breakfast in here at the same time." He was right, though: it was incredibly crowded in this kitchen. 

"That's the bigger problem to you?" Dani asked in disbelief when Ange looked around and seemed to actively work on a solution for the issue.

Ange turned around to her. "It is. They'll get hungry. If we don't want these big babies to break the house down, we'll have to feed them." 

"I'll be outta your hair, anyway, Sy," Alicia said softly, barely loud enough for anyone but Sy to hear. She turned away immediately, making her way to the door.

"Liz, wait!" Sy followed her into the hallway. "I'd love to take you out soon. I-if you'll let me, 'course." 

"Alright, text me," she said before giving Sy a quick kiss and disappearing. 

Back in the kitchen, the girls had decided that, since they had cooked for the boys a few days before, it was now the guys' turn to make them food. The motion had made it through by unpopular vote, which meant no more than that each of the girls had given their respective boyfriend that look, and the boys - who would really like to get laid again somewhere in the next month - had agreed. Now, Mike was on pancake duty, August in charge of bacon and eggs, and Sherlock was making more coffee. The smell of food made Leon's face paler than it had been when he had first sat down at the table, and it wasn't long before he disappeared into his room - well, after a rather unpleasant sounding stop in the bathroom. 

"None for me, thanks," Sol said as she took another sip of her orange juice, absentmindedly waving the plate August held out to her away. 

"Sol," Geralt started, but he didn't get very far. 

"Geralt, drop it," she snapped back at him. 

"One egg, please," he tried again. Sol whipped her head around and scowled at Geralt. 

"Geralt, over the course of two weeks I have moved to another country, been surrounded by far too many people almost constantly, suffered through a party where I didn't even know most guests, and I took care of you when you were overwhelmed… Now look me in the eye and listen: I don't. Want. Breakfast." Without saying another word - and almost burning herself on the pot of fresh coffee Sherlock was holding - she paced out of the kitchen and up the stairs, leaving the boys behind in a state of bewilderment. The girls, less so… 

"Eating disorder?" Anjelica asked Geralt point blank. 

He nodded, disarmed by her bluntness. "I don't get it, she looks fantastic, I…" Anjelica rolled her eyes and waved at him dismissively before getting up on a chair, putting a hand on either side of his face and pulling him in. 

"Listen," she said, "that's not what that's about. Right now, it's her coping mechanism. She's overwhelmed - and who can blame her - and she doesn't know what to do. We'll all keep an eye on her, but for now you just focus on helping her wind down, okay? She's going to be okay." She let go of his face and stepped off the chair. 

"How do you know?" Geralt asked hesitantly. 

"I'm the same way," Ange answered, "I mean… I have August to slap the shit out of me now…"

"Always happy to help," August interjected dryly. 

"Oh, shut up," Anjelica chuckled. She looked at the table, where Elena, Dani and Sloane were sitting. "Ladies?" Her eyes were asking a question, but the boys couldn’t put a finger on what it was until the girls began to answer it.

"I mean, you've all met my mother," Elena half-joked. All eyes were on Dani next.

"Gymnast," she answered in between bites of pancake. Apparently, that was all the explanation the others needed, leaving the guys looking confused. "Slo?" 

"I was a dancer, classical ballet. Puberty hit early, I got a little too much shape… Bada-bing, bada-boom, next thing you know, I'm thinking two rice crackers before a four-hour pointe class is plenty," she said, "Ange?"

"Hockey and horseback riding," she mused, "plus, I went to private school. Boulimia was like the newest Marc Jacobs bag. No one actually liked it, but you just had to have it." 

When the girls laughed about Anjelica's story, the guys looked at them as if they had gone absolutely bat shit crazy - which didn’t change much, even after the explanation that being completely miserable about it all of the time wasn’t going to do anyone any good, either.

"Right," Sloane said after she finished her toast and eggs, "I should get going. I have studying to do, because med school is a bitch!"

"Alright, let me…" Charles tried to get up from his chair, but Slo pushed him back.

"Your front door is right there," she said, "I can see it from here." And with those words, she just got up and left, leaving Charles behind in a somewhat… befuddled state. Not that it fazed him for long: he seemed to have no trouble at all going back to his toast and eggs, holding up his cup to ask Sherlock for more coffee. 

“After this, it’s every man for himself, I would also like to eat,” Sherlock said calmly as he poured out the last of the coffee to whomever came first. 

“Yeah, you should be hungry enough,” Mike teased, wiggling his eyebrows as he quickly shoved a whole pancake in his mouth before handing the plate with what started as a stack - and was now just a pile - to Geralt. Sy and Charles laughed, and there was a hint of a smile on Ange’s face as well, but Mike must have been glad neither Dani, nor Marshall and Geralt could reach him. 

“Speaking of,” Elena bravely interjected, “what the hell were you two doing last night?”

“I don’t remember,” Dani muttered with a red face and a mouth full of pancake. 

“We were making out on my bed,” Mike said, clearly missing the slight but distinct edge of embarrassment in Dani’s voice, “and suddenly we were accidentally making out next to my bed… It was pretty funny.” His tone was so casual that even Dani couldn’t help but laugh as he talked. 

The result of breakfast for eleven people was an ungodly heap of dishes that needed washing, and although the house did have a dishwasher, that hadn’t even been stacked with the other ungodly heap of dirty dishes - namely the ones from the party the night before. Mike, August and Sherlock immediately washed their hands of the task. After all, they’d already cooked everyone breakfast, which left Geralt, Sy and Charles grunting by the sink. Geralt’s appeal to check on Sol was denied by the other two, and he got put on dishwasher duty. The only person who was absolved of any involvement with breakfast: Marshall.

Anjelica pulled up a chair in front of him and sat down, with Dani and Elena flanking him - possibly so he wouldn’t run away, but what were they going to do if he decided to leave after all? Mike, August and Sherlock looked at each other. He wouldn’t talk, would he? Maybe if Ange asked him nicely? 

“Marshall, what the fuck happened last night?” So much for ‘asking nicely’... The boys, however, had to watch in awe as Marshall covered his mangled face with his hands, and when he started talking, his voice sounded strangled and broken. 

“What’s there to tell? I think everything is pretty self-evident,” he groaned.

“If I had to guess,” Dani said, “you slept with your best friend’s sister, regretted it, hoped he’d never find out, but he did because she told him after she saw you sneak off with whoever the fuck that was, and then he very nearly punched your lights out.”

“Off by a few,” Marshall groaned again.

“He didn’t regret it, he’s in love with her.” Elena almost sighed her romantic realization.

“And I ruined everything by trying to get over her. That’s it. That’s the whole story.” He pulled his hands away from his face, leaving the guys speechless. He was crying. “Happy now? I fucked it all up. For good.”

“Marshall, do you remember what I told Mike the day I made him send that text to Dani to ask her out?” Anjelica said to Marshall - before turning to Dani briefly: “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I distinctly remember ‘God, men are stupid, you all know jack shit about women’,” Sherlock helpfully provided. 

“Exactly,” Ange confirmed. “That definitely still applies.”

“Hey, is anyone else coming on the ski trip?” Mike asked after the girls had decided to cease their interrogation of Marshall. “Not enough people signed up, they’re cool with non-freshmen tagging along.”

“I ain’t got the grades,” Sy said - Charles had the same reason for staying put. August offhandedly mentioned that he’d been thinking about it - to which Ange responded that she had already signed him up. ‘Just in case.’ She, of course, played a major part in organizing the whole thing. 

Dani looked up in surprise when Anjelica mentioned that her name had also been on the list. 

“I’d have to ask my parents for the money,” she warned Mike, who just shrugged. 

“My mom paid,” he said plainly, “worst case scenario I call my dad and ask for the money. He’ll pay up.” 

Anjelica and Dani both looked at him in shock when he said it, but Elena was the only one brave enough to say something: “Mike, that’s incredibly dishonest.” Understatement. 

“Listen,” Mike snapped, startling all the girls - and the guys, too, even though they probably wouldn’t want to admit it, “I had to repeat my junior year because I got caught in the middle of their horrible divorce. They were literally fighting all day, every day about fucking everything.”

“Mikey…” Dani started, but he held a hand up to get her to - bluntly put - shut up.

"No,” he said, “Give me a minute.” He took a deep breath and continued: “I move in with mom, because dad moves away to God knows where, I barely talk to him for a year, and I make it through my second junior year just fine. Then, during my senior year, my mom gets a new coworker who she really gets along with. The coworker is always talking about her husband and her kids, things are fun. She’s been together with him for five years, she says, but they’ve only been married for one, yada yada. One night me and mom are invited over for dinner, get to her place, only to come face to face with her husband, who just so happened to be my fucking dad, okay? Sent my mom into hysterics. I got caught in the middle of that hot mess - and didn't graduate that year, either. So forgive me if I’m not overly worried about lying. Between my dad’s new family and my mom’s fucking midlife crisis, the only thing I ever get from either of them nowadays is money.”

Sy, who had been listening while finishing up the dishes with the others, turned around with a puzzled look on his face. “Come again?” 

“Alright, TLDR: My dad married his side piece after divorcing mom. Side piece became mom’s work friend without knowing who she was, and then she turned out to be the woman my dad had been cheating on mom with for years, got it?” Mike clarified with a grin on his face. The girls looked at each other in awe. Even Marshall - whose face was barely in any kind of state to portray any kind of emotion other than agony - looked completely stumped. 

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Elena said, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Mike said in a small voice. Dani wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. 

“The trip sounds fun.” Elena turned to Sherlock, who looked at her.

“It does,” he agreed, “and you were probably invited to go.”

“My study advisor did mention I could take a spot, yes,” she said coyly, waiting for him to catch on. Of course, he had caught on. He had caught on immediately! Now, all he wanted was for her to stop playing these infernal games! “Oh, for God’s sake, Sherlock, would you come along, too?”

“I signed up a week and a half ago.” For a brief moment, Elena looked like she wanted to slap the smirk off his face. And who could blame her?

“I think I might go, too,” Marshall suddenly said, surprising everyone. The guys - and Ange - knew he loved snowboarding, but they wouldn’t have thought he’d be in the mood to tag along. The man could brood for a while. 

“You should!” Anjelica said immediately - maybe a tad too quickly, and too enthusiastically. 

Seconds later, a message appeared in the girls’ group chat: 

Guess who’s name is also on the list… Carson, Alexandra…

[rametarin]

Capitalism is not inherently bad.

There’s nothing inherent to capitalism that says it will be only interested in profit, at the expense of everything else. No more than the idea society will always turn you into a prisoner just for society existing.

In fact, it is through good faith regulations and sensible practices in law that capitalism is the superior system. Provided certain parties are not imposing rules and regulation on it that don’t exist for ideologically driven moralism, but practical and pragmatic safety, then the system works perfectly.

However, take the example of the ‘enormous truck’ in the United States. Smaller trucks used to be more popular state-size. Do you know what happened?

People that hate trucks decided those ‘darned truck drivers’ needed to go away. So they made it impossible to affordably have a little truck. In the interests of, “emissions standards,” they had the government penalize truck manufacturers and truck sellers, so if they tried to make and sell small trucks, they had to pay a large fee. They could still sell them, they just had to pay the government more to do so to offset what they were told was some bogus emissions problem.

But the thing is, the charge is bogus. What wound up happening because of shitty, bad faith policy because of people that don’t like trucks, was people decided to get more truck for their money, as the artificial penalty just for selling a truck that they tried to normalize to naturally select out trucks from the market, just meant consumers bought bigger trucks to get more truck for their dollar. The truck buyers and sellers had no reason NOT to push for bigger trucks, which ironically used more fuel to move more truck and more people elsewhere. And were less useful for a working man to move things.

This is why the American truck got so big. It wasn’t “YEE HAW” 10 pound Texas shaped belt buckle Americans just deciding to overcompensate alone, it was helped by people who hated a product and hated the culture of people that consumed it, trying to train them out of having a product by artificially making it more expensive. Not too dissimilar from trying to price out Asian or Hispanic foods, purely to try and “Anglicize” them, or something. Put that way, doesn’t it just strike you as disgusting someone would politicize something that’s supposed to be practical and good faith, like emissions standards, purely to penalize a product that they don’t like and attack both the culture and wallets of people they hate to make them change against their will?

But you can’t call that the fault of capitalism. Small trucks and their consumption existed BEFORE these overly expensive regulations. Expensive automobiles hurt the poor. And they’re used to try and incentivize communities and societies investing (with tax dollars, against their will) in public transport. But expensive automobiles are exactly what a lot of this shit tries to impose, extra-financially. With arbitrary environmental tax.

This isn’t a failure of capitalism, it’s a failure of respecting peoples choices and good faith policy. This is entirely a failure on the civic side, exploiting currency and finances for its own benefit. This is a failure of governance.

In a proper expression of a capitalist system, the government is still there to enact poliies and use bureaus to develop legislation and apply it, but certain people that do not like capitalism wouldn’t be there to punish things that just so happen to align with anti-capitalist ideological values. Like hating automobiles for being personal means of conveyance, and pushing for state or federally owned transportation systems.

Environmentalism itself is not the great big weapon and limiter that certain people hope it will be, necessitating heavy government hands over industry for extra taxation and draconian controls. Because industry can micromanage everything from particulate waste to sequestration. From the forge, to the dump, everything that is produced can be taken apart and recycled without forever lasting byproducts.

It’s not a matter of inevitability, it’s a matter of technology and knowledge to be able to mitigate and transmute, innovate. And then with industry standards and regulatory bodies, there won’t be pollution or environmental contamination to worry about, because one doesn’t need to worry about the radioactivity of a tapioca pudding explosion or the caustic results of a spill of baby powder- because those substances are by nature benign and harmless.

To some, capitalism is synonymous with smog spewing factories and radioactive green sludge on every corner. Those same people have the audacity to moan and whine about “propaganda” and “the red scare” when it comes to anti-capitalism.

Capitalism is the superior system when you have good faith governance that isn’t trying to destroy capitalism or build up enough government capital and power to subvert and destroy capitalism. Because capitalism is financial democracy and liberty, when expressed and respected to its fullest extent.

And any complaint you can have about it can be summed up as, “criminals subverting the law that didn’t account for the manner in which they’re breaking it,” which is true for any system, ESPECIALLY anti-capitalist ones historically, and, “it doesn’t address the things I feel are social problems that society should be solving without money.”

Or the always classic, “I moved for the capitalist company to be corporatized and effectively made federally run, and then it got government protections and sponsorship to just do what it wanted. Therefore proving capitalism corrupts government.”

No. What you’re seeing there is the government wanted something and gave the company carte blanche to make it happen. You’re blaming capitalism for the government’s giving the company infinite resources to make what it demanded happen in regulations, happen, whether or not it was ethically or economically reasonable or possible. And blaming capitalism for that as the corrupting influence. When the reality is, when the government is behind a company, legally and/or financially, that is no longer a company existing in a system of private markets. That’s a socialized business. That’s a business that doesn’t have to adhere to the market economy ecosystem. That’s a bear in a forest with infinite food to grow fat and strong, among bears that have to find their own food and compete with that bear with supplementary fish that can not only eat all they want, but compete with bears that don’t get free protein and springwater. It has an unfair advantage in bear business.

Overly expensive domestic medical equipment? The fault of a socialized monopoly in the US.

Overly expensive pharmceuticals in the US? The results of a socialized corporate monopoly in the US

The necessity of insurance in the US? A symbiotic relationship between hospitals and insurers, necessitating socializing and putting people into programs to make medicine more affordable- and the fake ass “free market” of needing medical care but the price of medical care being tied to what people are capable of paying, changing this to what millions of people could pay.

So hospitals raise their prices to absurd amounts individually and can write their own checks, while insurance companies can talk them down with contracts and collective bargaining and get discounts. Our entire medical system is overly expensive because of this bogus socialist get-around of a buyer’s market designed to make it impossible for an individual to afford medicine, and the intervention came purely because it was signed into legislation that a person could not be turned away from medical help from the ER regardless of whether they could pay or not. So they’d get tens of thousands of dollars of help, whether or not they could pay tens of thousands of dollars for the care.

Multiply that by a few million times a year, over the course of sixty years. It was a change to the system designed to take consumer power out of it and defacto backdoor socialize it.

However, we can fix this. We could even make the necessity of insurance go away. We just need to kind of.. ‘finish’ medical research. Or get it to where the cost of researching the ins and outs of every single chemical and compound, every single new virus, can be mechanically and electronically researched with algorithms and instruments until what used to take years of careful human professional research could be rendered into data in days, hours, or seconds. And derived solutions from that, which then go into manufacturing of everything from retro virals to vaccines to medicines to fix it.

When you really examine the most expensive aspects of American life, they only superficially look like the result of capitalist excess. And attributing corporate greed to capitalism when the government demands results that CAN’T exist without easing the barriers between government and private business and weighs results at the cost of separation between them, thus incorporating the business and giving them economic overtures, is blaming a fat, bratty child for the negligence and abuse of a parent. The kid didn’t get that big and spoiled rotten without being enabled. Which is exactly what socialism is. The state and the government being the ultimate authority over business and capital and deciding where shit goes, and thus, the corruption of the state and those regulators being the ultimate arbiter of exactly how corrupt the system is. They get the demon they see in capitalism, through their own state ambitions.

But so long as we have ideologues that despise private property and despise that any one individual might succeed harder than a company entity with tens of thousands of employees behind it, and sees even the possibility an individual may possess a billion dollars as someone failing to tax it out of them as corruption and evil, we will never have good governance or economy. Their principles are short sighted, spite fueled, and suck. Seeing someone with a million dollars and grousing because they aren’t using that money for someone else is like seeing someone with enormous boobs and being mad that they aren’t letting you fondle them.

Heh. Finan-cels.

[nickgerlich]

What's In Your Cart?

It seems like ancient history now, but the way Americans shop for groceries started to change in a big way back in 1988. That’s when the first Walmart Supercenter opened in Washington Missouri. It was a novel concept for Americans, because it combined groceries with dry goods and general merchandise.

While Walmart cannot take credit for the innovation, since there had been so-called hypermarkets doing so on an even larger scale in Europe and Asia in years prior, they can take credit for nailing it here. Walmart did such a good job that they systematically started replacing the majority of their older stores in favor of these behemoths, which in larger metros clock in at 200,000 square feet. In Amarillo, the stores on Coulter Road and Grand Street are both of this size, having opened in 1992. They have downsized versions for smaller markets, like here in Canyon, but the concept is the same.

Walmart did its time building its grocery business, and in 2001 became the nation’s biggest food retailer, with sales of $56 billion. It has not let go of that title.

Today, though, Walmart has laid claim to yet another honor in the grocery business: They are now the second-biggest e-grocery retailer, accounting for 36% of sales. Only Amazon, with nearly double Walmart’s e-grocery sales, is bigger.

And for yet another find-a-positive-in-a-pandemic exercise, ponder just how fast Walmart pivoted during COVID, jumping on curbside pickup and home delivery faster and better than its brick-and-mortar competitors. That advantage is still playing out today as the chain continues to grow its online grocery presence.

I see it every time I go to Walmart for groceries. Now let me explain something. In Canyon we have only Walmart and United, the latter of which is owned by Albertson’s and is slated for further acquisition under the Kroger umbrella. United has considerably higher prices on the things I buy, and lacks many of the items I want that Walmart routinely stocks. I’m not cheap. It just looks that way.

But when I am in our Walmart, I constantly see order pickers pushing their huge carts stacked with blue plastic bins. They are fulfilling orders for both curbside and delivery, and sometimes there are so many of them in the aisles that it becomes hard to shop with my little buggy. Like this last week, when there was a major traffic jam right in front of the pizza and pasta section, which, as my luck would have it, was where I needed to be. It’s kind of like driving on the freeway. You get out of the way of the massive trucks, even if you have right-of-way.

As for me, I have yet to order groceries online, aside from some specialty items I have procured through Amazon. I am just old-school enough, as my father taught me, to want to squeeze that lettuce, thump that melon, etc., before I make my selection. I don’t want tomatoes with bruises, nor broccoli that is starting to turn yellow. Only I can control for that, and that means in-person.

But I know the time is coming. I am no Luddite; I’m just picky. Maybe I should do a few test orders with non-perishable items, just to see how they do. Then maybe add some onions or cauliflower. I might just like this. Still, it’s going to be hard to let go of old habits and practices. My father was the grocery shopper in my family, and I watched him closely. He was a master at his craft.

Back in the Canyon Walmart, I think it might be time for them to consider opening a dark store, which looks like, feels like, and smells like a traditional store, but is not open to the general public. In the grocery biz, a dark store would be where all curbside and delivery orders are filled, alleviating the brick-and-mortar store from all those cumbersome trolleys.

Good for Walmart in responding best during the challenges of a pandemic. It paid dividends, and apparently enough people made the switch to online grocery shopping then that it is now habit for many. Just don’t run me over in the pizza and pasta aisle while you’re busy filling those orders.

Dr “Stay In Your Lane” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[msbarrows]

So yesterday @genginger tagged me in a “three things that you’re proud of in 2023″ thing, and I had to think a lot to come up with things - being long-term unemployed means my days (and weeks, and months) tend to be very sameness-of-a-same.

One thing I got done at the end of the year (but have yet to deploy) is putting together a skills-based resume. Sooooo much anxiety over finally tackling it, as I’ve been unemployed for over a decade now and haven’t job searched in years. Thankfully some online friends did supportive hand-holding while I tackled it. Now I just... need to figure out some applications. Write some cover letters (UGH!!!). Probably make some more versions of the resume, to cover skill sets relevant to specific jobs (DOUBLE UGH!!!).

Been working my way through the big box of old family photos from the basement, plus my personal large file box of photos, and scanning all of them. Have the former finished but am still working through the latter. At some point I need to burn a bunch of them to DVD to send around to my brother and sister’s households (all the family ones, plus some of my personal ones).

One of the biggest projects I tackled in late summer of last year was to finally put together an emergency go-bag for myself (see photo above), inspired in part by katy-l-wood’s Evacuation Prep chart having crossed my dash earlier in the year, plus us here in northern Ontario having had several bad fire summers recently, including the fire by the old ski hill in 2020. Thankfully small, thankfully put out rapidly, but it came right down to the yards of the houses along the base of the ridge. We were on edge for a few hours on whether or not things might go bad and force us to evacuate (not to mention we’ve had bigger fires only a little further away that took 2-3 days to put out), and I’d found myself thinking several times since about what I’d grab if we got that sudden automated phone call or banging on the door. More about the go-bag contents under the cut (it’s long).

Anyone else interested in posting their three things, consider yourself tagged :)

So... go-bag contents! This is still a WIP, I plan to add additional food items to it for one, but at present, from left to right this includes:

couple of foldable water containers. It there’s enough warning before having to leave, those would be filled from the tap and go out to the truck separately, otherwise will be filled at whatever first stop with potable water we* reach.

box of assorted Cliff bars, to be replaced every 6-8 months. I also plan to add a box of assorted fruit bars and/or nut bars and/or sesame snaps. Stable foods with some nutrition and a good energy hit, basically.

the opened out red bag is a first aid molle pouch, it includes EMT shears, bandaids, adhesive mesh, polysporin, and a ton of assorted gauze pads and packing gauze leftover from when I was have a large cyst treated a year or two ago (yay for daily nurse visits to inspect and repack the wound).

the yellow drawstring bag contains a large rain poncho

mess kit, normally stored in the round purse with the raffia flamingo on it (protects it, plus doesn’t hurt to have an extra bag in my bag)

the large black duffle bag that everything fits inside

to the right of that is a dark green electronics storage bag, in front of which are what it normally holds - a solar power bank, my old 7″ android tablet, my old android cell phone (the sim card for which is in my new phone, but it’s still usable for emergency calls and means I have a backup handy if I accidentally break the new phone), red external backup drive, my original bluetooth speaker in its lime green carry case - all of these get their batteries topped up at the start of each month, plus updated (OS, apps, backup files). Also a couple of USB charging bases and cables.

stainless steel thermos

LifeStraw personal water filter (in case the only water source is questionable)

folding umbrella

from in front of that over to right is all small things I store inside a purse organizer, which I have tucked inside a clear vinyl storage bag that some sheets came in, so its protected from collecting dust or lint, plus if anything escapes the organizer it’ll remain in the bag. Contents include: small coin purse holding a small roll of bills, can opener, makeup mirror (as a mirror and for flash signalling), tums, safety razor, comb, hair elastics, USB rechargeable flashlight, soap, tooth floss, toothpaste, toothbrush, ibuprofen, packet of tissues.

the lumpy blue things at back right are compression packing cubes full of tshirts, socks, underwear, a pair of jeans, flannel shirt, light hoodie, plus hiding between them and the clear vinyl bag are a drawstring cloth bag holding pyjamas (so it’s easy to grab just sleepwear), and a zippered pouch of more socks and more underwear. Figure I’ll remove, wash, and repack the clothes on the same 6-8 month rotation as replacing the food in the bag.

Basically it’s aimed mostly at getting to and remaining at an evacuation centre or motel for a couple days sort of goal, but I have also put a bit of consideration into what if we’re unable to reach such a place and end up stuck temporarily outside somewhere, so things like how the poncho can double as a small shelter (which reminds me I should add some paracord or light rope), the LifeStraw can be used to more safely drink from untreated water sources, and I have at least a few days worth of food on hand. Also there’s a sleeping bag stored in the same closet as this kit, so close to hand. And a second, much larger duffle to stuff as many clothes into as possible.

Most of the other small things I’d want to grab, such as ID, keys, and more cash, are in my purse, which is an arm’s length away from where I sit at my computer.

* - I say ‘we’ because I don’t drive, so if there’s an evacuation I’d be going with my brother or waving down a neighbour’s vehicle.

[illiath-the-fae]

As someone who regularly drives in a teeny-tiny hatchback along a major US trucking route (Interstate 5 for those who might be wondering, which means it goes STRAIGHT until they put in a curve because at that point people would fall asleep because of boring straight road, not because it needed to turn)... here's some additional information for cars around trucks.

Trucks frequently run in short "convoys", there are reasons for it, but simply put, it's not uncommon to see three-four trucks in a row, which means when overtaking, MOVE IT, don't slow down to the speed of the trucks, move along at your previous speed and just get past them.

If a truck "pulls out in front of you" when you see one of these little convoys, back the heck off. Slow down and let that person pull out and do whatever they're doing. Sometimes they're doing it because there's an accident five miles down the road and so the one at the end is blocking the lane so the others can merge over safely.. sometimes it's to slow you down because there's a CHP speed trap up there and no one wants to let the CHP write more tickets.

If you see a truck indicate to turn, and you are behind them, just let them merge to wherever they're indicating. Not only are they bigger than you (and so have right of way *grin*), sometimes they've been stuck behind a slow-arse driver in a mini-van doing 50 in a 75 zone, and they need to move it. Sometimes they want to scratch their nose... sometimes they're warning you due to a hazard on the road up ahead.

Don't slow down when overtaking, please for the love of all that's holy/unholy/whatever, I know I said this before, but just hold your speed and move.

Trucks are big and heavy... they don't "suddenly" do anything. Give them space. The only idiots on the road who "suddenly" do anything... are idiots with campervans, idiots with cars towing loads too heavy, idiots with cars... and oh yeah... idiots with cars.

Lastly, I don't care what the speed limit is, if the trucks are doing 25 and have all lanes blocked... there's a damn good reason for it, slow the heck down, let them deal with it.

This is just a few extra off-the-cuff comments... my usual "commute" drive along 5 lasts three hours+, I can fill that entire drive with rants about how cars driving like idiots around trucks. Also, these comments are in ADDITION to what was said by OP... meaning, OP said some stuff that I didn't repeat here...

A PSA about trucks from a truck driver

I and some colleagues were talking about how we wish everyone could see the safety videos that our company was showing us, because I don’t think most people understand how traffic works in a truck. So here’s some things we wish everyone on the road knew.

- we’re not kidding about tailgating. If you’re right behind us on a straight highway? Chances are we have NO IDEA you’re there, which means we can’t anticipate any of your movements. Plus slowing down takes multiple downshifts, so we might start decreasing speed way earlier than you expect.

- We’re not kidding about any of our blind spots. WE CAN’T SEE YOU, GUYS.

- That bit about slowing down taking a while? The same goes for when you’re in front of us. Don’t cut off a truck. Oh god, PLEASE don’t cut off a truck. If you cut me off, I’m not irritated, I’m terrified. For YOU. It can take 7 to 9 seconds for us to stop. DON’T CUT OFF TRUCKS.

- Before you get mad about how slow we’re going on the highway, keep in mind that many companies govern their vehicles so they literally CAN’T go over 60 or 65. This is a good thing, I promise. Because…

- Do you know what happens when a car meets a truck in an accident? The car gets totaled and the truck needs a new coat of paint. You will not win this fight. I know nobody likes getting stuck behind a big dumb truck, but it’s not worth your life.

We are trying our best to protect you from our 80,000 pound death machines. Please help us out.

[morgbin]

Monday 10/7 (Inspection Day)

On Sunday night around 8pm, we got an email from Mom explaining how the logistics on inspection day were going to work. Everything was as I expected but it was good to get it explicitly written out. The busses were gonna leave from Gerlach and the Ranch at the usual time, roll call at 8:30, and the inspection starts at 9. We should pack a lunch, but the "Purple People Feeder" would be out with a "special surprise." There were 10 Team Captains that Mom selected who would be leading each inspection team. And we could hope to be done by about 1pm.

On Monday morning, King Louie lamented that "everything had been packed up already" which meant there was no printer to print out the role call sheet, and we did it with the stacks of time cards instead. He got to the end without having called my name (plus several others) and I shout-whispered "Say Diesel!!!" which he did, and I shouted "DEEZ NUTS" - which put the kibosh on that one and he told the rest of the folks whose names hadn't been called to come over to Mom and have her write our names down. It turned out to be mostly the people who were out there as volunteers. I was surprised at the number of other people who had been out there the whole season as volunteers as well.

DA had some people hold up the map like usual and he plus some others gave us a pep talk.

When you walk the circle, you're going to find stuff. That doesn't mean you didn't do your job. Your job was to get 75% of the stuff, and the big stuff that would fail us.

the closure order ended a week ago. People have been camping out here. If you find some big stuff - like we found a BBQ grill this morning in an area y'all definitely walked through earlier - just call DA on the radio. We won't be judged on that sort of thing.

We're only judged on the surface area of the moop we find. If we find something deeply buried, take a picture of it before pulling it out of the ground. if we find a wadded up ball of paper, don't un-wad it.

Rocks don't count, *unless* they're bigger than 2" across

Don't stress too much about extra playa left on stuff. The BLM will run everything though a strainer later and then take pictures against a green screen and use pixel analysis to determine the actual percentage of moop left behind.

In addition to the 120 random points that we're judged on, there are 6 "points of interest" which are measured and tracked every year, for...vague statistical purposes. Those points are: The Temple, The Man, HEAT, The DPW Depot, USS, and Shoreline (also referred to as the JOC)

Today, we are all representatives of burning man. This might be the only contact that any of these BLM agents/volunteers ever have with Burning Man. Do a good job representing the org. If the BLM person you're with is a geology nerd, let them tell you all about the Black Rock Desert. If they're a No Nonsense Guy, then meet their business attitude and Get It Done. If they're curious about the event, share your best stories.

One verbal quirk I haven't observed before: When someone started saying something slightly inaccurate, DA butted in by saying "Exit. Can I double hands that?"

Then, the 10 previously selected Team Captains lined up, and there was a scramble for the rest of us to join a crew. Our crew ended up with one too many people and an awkward moment soliciting a volunteer to join a different group. But once all the teams had the right number of people (7, including the team captain), we all got into DPW fleet vehicles and headed out to do our inspections. Our crew of 8 immediately hopped in the nicest truck and some of us got into the bed of the truck, the rest of the crews did the same. Then our group was told no, we needed to switch vehicles so we ended up in one without a bed and I climbed in and out of the hatchback all day and sat in the trunk.

We received a map with all 120 points labeled, plus a list of 13 points that we were to survey There are 4 zones: Open Playa, City Grid, Walk-In Camping, and Other, labeled with initials and numbers like: OP-01, CG-001, WIC-01, O-01. We were assigned an area near 8:00&K, with some Other points and some City Grid points.

This is the map from 2023, this year's was similar.

We arrived at the first point and met up with our BLM representative, driving her own vehicle. She appeared to be a woman in her mid 20s, with a not-exactly-a-pixie-cut and wearing work pants. She introduced herself as Brandy. She said she was a "Hydro Intern" this summer and was only told she'd need to do this task sometime last week. We stood around in awkward silence as she fumbled to get the stake hammered into the ground, then she pulled the rope taut and walked in a brisk circle. There were a couple pieces of moop on the ground that we put into the ziplock bag, handed to Brandy, and then Brandy and Muppet had a conversation to decide which point to go to next. We got in the car and followed Brandy as she drove past the point they had decided to a different point that we were also assigned. As everyone in the car was saying "what is she doing?" "where's she going" etc, I thought it might be a good idea to ask pronouns during the next inspection point. We stopped the car, got out, and met Brandy at the point. She produced the ziplock bag labeled with the point that we had meant to go to, realized her mistake, and went back to the car to get the correct bag. Once we were set up along the taut string, someone suggested that we go a bit slower this time. Brandy agreed but gave the string to one of us and said she would just watch and have one of us set the pace. As far as I understand it, the BLM representative is meant to hold the string to set the pace as a way for the BLM to ensure the inspection is done thoroughly. it felt a little transgressive and exciting that she had abdicated this responsibility, but I think the inspection was done *more* thoroughly because of it - the rest of us had all participated in the test team inspections throughout Resto, and walked much more slowly than Brandy did on her first go-round.

during this test point, I tried to engage Brandy in some conversation. I asked her about her internship (walking through muddy streams and cataloging species of grasses) and her plans after the internship (dunno, will go wherever the wind blows). After we finished the circle and most of the group had walked away I asked "what are your pronouns, by the way," and the response was seeming puzzlement and "she, her, whatever." so, my previous read was just wishful thinking, alas.

At one of the points we did, we found a tent stake stuck so deep that we needed to call DA to come get it out with tools, but other than that they were all *really* clean. We asked Brandy to tell us water facts, and Shouting regailed us with whale facts, and for our final test point we decided we should subject Brandy to some meltdown music. So everyone queued up The Spark (that Irish kids song that went viral on tiktok this summer) and pressed play on our phones at the same time. We all had different crossfade settings on Spotify though, so by the third repeat we were wildly out of sync.

We had to hand off three of our points to another team that was chugging along a lot faster than we were, but then after we were done, we all headed to center camp for lunch.

The purple people feeder was indeed out there for lunch, but instead of tacos like usual, it was chili dogs (chili dog song). We all joked about how messy of a food it was to serve on inspection day, and sang along to the chili dog song and compared notes. It seemed like every team had a similar experience to us - no obviously failing spots, *maybe* one borderline spot. The mood was high. We did timesheets. One guy started a bizarre ritual he called "sink the Barbie" which was kinda like bobbing for apples but with Barbie dolls, chanting, and cult vibes.

The team leads had a huddle with DA where I presume they compared notes on the test points. although the official word won't come for months, it was clear by this point that we had passed without question.

after an hour or so of cheerful chatting, eating, and silliness, we got on our buses and headed back to town.

I packed up my stuff into the two 27 gallon totes I had, and loaded up my car. it was about 1:00 p.m., and I was hoping to leave gurlock before sunset. I sat outside the saloon and waited for Riley and Willoh. they had been talking about getting a tattoo from me - they wanted now written on their wrist where their watch would go. While I was setting up, a couple more people said they wanted a tattoo which I was super down for. I was running really low on alcohol swabs at this point though so I told Be Nasty that if she found me a bottle of isopropyl alcohol I would do hers, and thankfully she did!

After I did a few pokes on Riley, they seemed up for doing the rest themselves, and Willoh was already keen on doing theirs theirself. So I was able to do two more, including my favorite stick n poke job I've done so far on Be Nasty.

Since I was still around when the dining hall opened, I had one last meal there, then did my last stick n poke on Deadliest Threesome before heading out.

I made it to the Motel 6 in Klamath Falls and stayed the night, then got up in the morning and did the rest of the drive home listening to my Meltdown song playlist and trying to memorize Weird Al's "Albuquerque."

[krystalin3]

I had a nightmare about my flavor of neurospice

my nightmare was a breakup

What triggered the breakup was that i was mad, exhausted because i was pushed and pushed into social situation after social situation. But i stuck around because its part of being with her.

Then, i have to turn on the pick up truck we own, and i accelerate its loud engines a lot. And while it is true that i was trying to accelerate the car to warm it up. I also was mad and taking my anger out on the car.

But i was also on another level aware.. aware that if i accelerated like this, my partner would hear it. And she will be forced by my acceleration, pushed, by the knowledge of my anger to leave. And on some level i revelled on that thought. Cause i wanted to do that.

But i also did not, i wanted to be responsible. I wanted to be kind. It doesnt matter what i feel, i did this to myself by choosing to tolerate as much as i did.

So i go inside and i tell her:

"Hey, i know i reved the car, but it does not mean anything, i was just warming up the car."

Which is true, and also not true, but it doesnt matter, this is the truth i wanted to be true, the one that i wanted reality to be.

My partner, with the help of her friend get mad at me. Emboldenned, the reving is the truth, the other is a lie. "You are being abusive and we wont tolerate any more of it."

I see whats happening very clearly. They saw the patterns of my behaviour, my reasoning, my way of living in multiple realities. And saw it as me being narcisistic, manipulative, a liar who just wants everything to be about myself only. I will never accept i was wrong.

Now my partner creates a boundary. She will not let me in, unless i accept what i did.

On some level, i know i just have to become a sad worm and say im sorry and say the things i did wrong, and promise never to do it again.

But i did not want to, i wanted her to see the truth. To know that while i did say what i said, it doesnt mean what i want is to hurt them. It doesnt mean i am twisting reality to keep her.

And so i dont want to be sad and tell her i was wrong, that minimizes me, minimizes the truth of what i experienced, reduces it to her perspective alone... no, it needs to have everything.

But as soon as i begin to try to argue for this, she stops me, says she is offended that the first thing i thought of was to try to convince her of something instead of asking for her not to leave.

This is big, i can see exactly why she would feel that way, i crossed a line, i did not enphasize her feelings, i did not make it about her and her alone, i did not give everything to be with her. But I keep wanting to have her see everything in me, all its contradictions, i keep believing she will understand.

With me not asking her to stay, she protects herself, she chooses to no longer listen, to push me away, to choke me emotionally by not letting any of my attempts to explain come out.

All my explanations are lies to her, worms trying to manipulate her.

The idea of her leaving, of my words meaning nothing, of me trying to explain things, dissapearing... becoming only what she sees. Makes me deeply sad, a realization i will loose this person i care so much about, care, what can be considered love. Because i care about her being with me. That should be considered something like love.. maybe its not care, maybe its want... i want her here, and tht just hapoens to turn into acts of care. I may not care in the traditional sense... but maybe that is just how i love? it has to... right?...

She sees me sad, about to cry, and she sees my genuine emotion as manipulation. As part of the process im using to trick her into staying, into ignoring what i did.

The truck acceleration being just a microcosm of a much bigger problem long ignored somehow by me. Never addressed because she looked fine, she never complained... or did she?

Its a dream, i have no context of the relationship before now, just a vague sensation of history only in dreams can be so intense and real.

As she sat in her car, what looks like a volkswagon, i run out, my desperate last move that could turn the tides.

"I have @$^^$#"

Surely if she hears that she will listen to me. Ive set the stage, sent videos and talked about what it could mean to be like that. All she needs is to be open to the possibility that my brain is different. We can start over with honesty about how i experience the world. Help each other to underatand why we do what we do. To not ignore each other.

I ask her, i beg her to please let me say just one thing.

And she is self righteous, empowered, obviously sad and furious, but resolved in her truth. She said "no, i will not let you manipulate me." Indignant that even as she drives away i wanted to put a seed of doubt, instead of just admitting i was wrong.

My soul crumbles, it is like the deepest hole in my chest and it pulls in every feeling into its dark abyss. The gravity of which starts to hurt in ways i cant tolerate.

The room of what was our apartment is a montage of a transiense of people sitting in my chair. And i put heroin or some kind of drug in me to try to numb this pain.

And what is my pain?

The existential nightmare that my truth is not real because i dont feel like everyone does. That my affections are too distant and uninvolved to be true.

i AM selfish but my selfishness does not mean i lack the consideration and time i put for the people around me. That i sacrifice what i want to give people what they need to have a good time.

And this, which had meaning before to them, suddenly does not have meaning because i refused to... no.. i did not have the natural ability to feel the same way. To do these things out of "love" in the traditional sense.

What an valuable and intense dream... ive learned a lot from it...

Use dreams to learn about yourself people.

[the-firebird69]

There's a few things that are funny and exam for MIB is one of them and they have trouble writing the answers and to see if they can improvise and then suddenly be up in the egg of the wall but here we have it this guy is very obnoxious and he does that kind of stuff and he was rude and selfish. The people need to be rewired around that but this is MIB the movie it's on TV. Good morning. It helps us.

We were talking about a few things Bob Marsh and St Martha's estimate he was going to mess up on purpose and the max for having the company do it they did not back out of it and screwed around with him and thought it was working we do not do anything to kill them there are a few other things who got into Excalibur and said where was and he pulled it out a little but he said you should do that about something else regarding the estimate I say she's up to something and to be honest I'd appreciate it if you use that he's a different person and it's not right to do what they're doing so he had the beer and it is a famous beer.

This is actually the beer and it was because you cannot put the sword on there. It is made by Michael two who is Colonel Thomas O'connor and O'connor constructors he's famous lately because he had Loma there and she passed away. And she has been kidnapped people think that she's Elovarny and she is not who showed up and helped get the timeline going. People are going to look at it and help refine it and start to try and figure out what to do comic con and things like that. Try and get him lined up for pouring drinks////

excerpt from MIB::::" but why why the big secret people are smart they can handle it the person is smart people are dumb panicky dangerous animals and you know it 1500 years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe 500 years ago everybody knew the Earth was flat in 15 minutes ago you knew that people were alone on this planet imagine what you know tomorrow" agent K. and will smith was it worth it. an ye if your strong enough.

The conversation continued but not too much but the beer is real and it's been out of production for a little bit but the swords are in London and are dislodged and when the big truck goes by you can see them move in and out of the rock a little and people started doing it on purpose to film it the other game it caught a few people doing it and now it came out and he and she is the ones who busted it out they want to know how and he says they're probably charged up and they said no way so they don't let anybody touch it they notice that they touched it and no one has touched it since. And they think that their fingerprints are on it and it's hers only enough for characters have the same fingerprints from character to character.

Thor Freya

How did you know that you idiot how would you and you don't and you wouldn't and I'm not being mean but really. Seriously OKI have to change every year we went ahead and did it and I had to run after you to get there on time and they saw me running down the street and it's on film I know which character is probably Melissa he says and that could be true advantage plan that saves money or includes additional bigger amanda that's right he said there's a beautiful woman running after him that's probably her and they didn't even get it but boy they slow he says that's my act.

Hera

The sedges cut off but she is all set so we're gonna publish this is a pretty big news huge news earlier there's probably the Empire fleet in there and they are bothering our son a lot

Thor Freya

Olympus

[twinklepuzzle]

I feel like there was another long thread going around a while back about how the current designs for trucks and SUVs (being taller and larger and having a flatter/more vertical front end rather than a sloped/pointed one) were more dangerous for pedestrians?

Like even aside from the mindset of the drivers. Even someone who was very mindful and was a good driver was more likely to kill a pedestrian, because the front end of the vehicles were at chest-to-head height. So if one hits you it's running directly into your very squishy and vital organs, as opposed to shorter vehicles, which are more likely to hit your legs (still causes injury, but it's more likely that they'll be survivable).

And the sloped fronts of most sedans (a word I'm using here as a catch-all for non-truck and non-SUV vehicles, for convenience) would allow the person to roll up and off of the vehicle, whereas the flat fronts of trucks and SUVs would push the person to the ground and/or under the vehicle, causing further injury.

And that's without taking into account how the design of trucks and SUV reduces the driver's visibility of the area immediately surrounding the vehicle and the actual pavement of the road (being higher up allows them to see over other cars, and therefore see more of the condition of the "road", here meaning traffic/ other cars, not the surface of the road itself).

I can't remember if it was real or just perception, but there's also the idea that the passengers and driver of a truck/SUV are safer in a collision than they would be in a sedan, which makes people want to buy them, especially with there being so many trucks and SUVs on the road. It's easy to look at and SUV and a sedan and think "if these two vehicles crashed, the sedan would be destroyed/the sedan would 'lose' and the SUV would 'win' the crash", so it feels like you're on more even footing with other drivers if you also get a tall car.

So trucks and SUVs become more popular due to the perception of personal safety (the safety of people outside your vehicle be damned), which leads to other people buying the tall cars to level the playing field, but it also leads to car manufacturers making more of the tall vehicles, and offering fewer sedans.

With fewer options for sedans, people are less likely to find one that they like, and more likely to look into SUVs. So even more people buy the bigger cars, and even less people buy the sedans, so car manus lean even harder into making more tall cars and fewer short cars.

It becomes a cycle, and the sedans are straight up disappearing.

And *that* isn't taking into account that, being larger and (often) having more features than sedans, manufacturers can charge more for an SUV/truck, so they make more profit if they sell more big cars. So there's even more of a financial incentive to produce more trucks/SUVs than sedans.

So even if you aren't one of the people with a "run the fuckers over" mindset, it's easier than ever to get a car that you're more likely to kill someone with (even in the case of a genuine accident), and harder to get a more reasonable and safer-for-the-public vehicle.

[sambalbilis77]

to be a better person - reflection

H and I have been arguing a lot lately, most of the time it is about little things then it got big because neither of us want to let it go. We went on holiday and we were fine the whole time - I think H's mental health with work + our (future) marriage issues are taking a toll on him. I understand though, I keep trying to put myself in his position and would I feel the same? Yes, or probably worse. So I am giving him time and space to think about it. I re negotiate that we can just do the the whole 'nikah' thing here so it will never go side by side with the law. I think it is the best thing I can do for him and I.

Anyway, I read something yesterday that literally hit me like a truck - 'do not look for the right person, be the right person and be the person YOU would want to be with'. And then it struck me, that makes so much sense. I have been feeling like whenever H is in grumpy mood or does not talk nicely to me that I have to do the same because 'it is fair' - this is what in my head, or was. And not to put an excuse to anything but this is definitely the result of my previous trauma from my past so called 'relationship'. My brain is set to that and that is not right, especially when I know damn well that sometimes when we argue deep inside I don't even mind to let it go if it means that we both can go to sleep in a good mood. Recently, because of work stress I have not been able to manage my emotions very well. I want to be the bigger person and I want to be his peace, I will try my very best to keep my head straight and just BREATHE before I want to say something because I never ever want to hurt his feelings.

POA :

When one of us is stressed, in a bad mood after work (which is usually the case) - just keep quiet, smile and breathe. To take my own time to reflect on the day and let it go. It is not fair for my partner to have an affect of my stress that is not related to him.

If arguing about small things, ie not putting things in the right place just get up and do it. It solves the issue. Do not talk back - I notice that when I do this given that we are both tired and stressed after work it just makes things worse.

Say I love you before bed / work even if arguing from the night before - at the end of the day it is about the feeling that I have for this person and not anyone else.

Walk the talk, AIna. Try this for next few weeks and see how it goes. Remember to breathe.