#(which is a bad idea because with him you get a guy whose Bankai is what-if-Byakuya-had-perfect-control-over-every-petal-of-Senbozakura)

[misfits-den]

Hag: *looks at existing OCs"

Kitt (mixed): values precision over power, be it magic or physical combat; in control of himself at all times;

Rei (Naruto): due to small chakra reserves is very precise in how he uses it

Moira (One Piece): precise timing in using Haki and Geppo allows her to run on sea waves despite being a Devil Fruit user

Saiver (original): by matching the rhythm of his life energy with others, causes resonance between them that can either strengthen or weaken himself and the target, requires precision

Rite (Star Wars): a Jedi, control is a given

Hag: *looks at newest OC*

Nikko (Bleach): master of evasive maneuvers, deflects any attack with minimal amount of reiryoku needed (control off the charts), can hide his presence anywhere

Hag: *squints*

Hag: ���

Hag: Coincidence, I'm sure

[recurring-polynya]

Bleach Sword Beasts Arc Recap: Episode 265

Good news, I have made it to the last episode of the interminable Sword Beasts Arc! Tune into this very important episode where, for like 3 seconds, Renji was the most powerful person in Soul Society!

After a quick cold open with all the zanpakutou spirits fighting some big bull guy I cannot be arsed to care about, we cut to Kazeshini fighting the lamest Sword Beast I have ever seen. He looks like Spider-Man lost his powers and decided to take up throwing cleavers instead. Behold:

His pants have cargo pockets. Anyway, before Kazeshini can actually defeat him, he spontaneously combusts. Hisagi is like “Well done, bro, you’re getting good at this!” and it’s like... Hisagi, you know your sword does not set things on fire, right? You do know what your sword does?

Anyway, Renji and Zabimaru show up, with Saru and Hebi arguing over which one of them is fatter again (does Renji have an eating disorder??? tbh this would be in character between his youthful food insecurity and all the gaslighting at Urahara Shoten polynya stop it, he does not!!!). Anyway, Renji and Shuuhei have a very manly conversation and walk off to do manly things, and Kazeshini confides in Zabimaru about the exploding Sword Beast.

Later on that night, Kazeshini and Zabimaru go to meet up with Hozukimaru and Ruri'iro Kujaku who are drinking together and complaining about the moon. I love these zanpakutou friendships so much, this is such a nice journey for everyone. Anyway, it seems that, after the loss of their masters, Sword Beasts eventually run out of reiatsu and go poof, except that there’s a Sword Beast running around accelerating this process by sucking them dry. I am kinda charmed by the zanpakutou treating this as their business and trying to take care of it without bothering their masters, even though this is foolishness.

Who cares about the plot, let’s talk about Girls’ Night Out!!

There is a touching moment where Nanao gives Katen Kyōkotsu a skewer, which distracted me for the rest of the scene because she’s wearing a mask how is she going to eat it?? (She picks it up, contemplates it, the scene cuts away. Well played, Bleach #265)

Oh, this is what it cut away to:

Wow. I am pretty sure I am already on the record as being strongly against shinigami gettin’ it on with their own zanpakutou, but, uh, this definitely happened, RIP to me.

Anyway, it ends the way you might expect:

Their zanpakutou excuse themselves saying the want to enjoy the night air together and it’s very clear that everyone is getting sentimental because they know they have to go back in their swords soon. We get a flash cut through the more serious zanpakutou contemplating their remaining corporeal existance-- Senbonzakura meditating in the dark, like you do, Sode no Shirayuki contemplating the moon, Hyourinmaru also contemplating the moon, they were really running low on ideas here... Suzumibachi! Oh, look, Suzumibachi exists! Anyway, she shows up to let Hyourinmaru know that Sadness Time is over, it’s time for fights, so let’s go!

We cut to the bad guy, Kirikaze chasing around some Sword Beasts. You can tell they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel on Sword Beast designs, it was definitely time to end this arc, check this guy out:

All the zanpakutou spirits show up to kick Kirikaze’s ass. It’s not clear how they know him, but it’s obvious that they do, which is kinda cool to me, I like the idea that zanpakutou have some knowledge of each other, even in their non-manifested state. It actually makes 0 sense whatsoever that the combined zanpakutou spirits of all the captains and lieutenants aren’t able to take out one feral dude, but maybe the zanpakutou spirits are under a form of gentai kaijou, where they are so bonded with their shinigami that they actually can’t access 100% of their power without them, wow, that would actually make this arc make slightly more sense, it can’t possibly be true.

Anyway, I am ruining a perfectly good fight scene. It’s not actually, these people are incompetent. Senbonzakura friendly-fires Hozukimaru just like he always does. Wabisuke gloats for so long over an opening that he gets backhanded without accomplishing anything. The only useful person in this fight is actually... Ruri'iro Kujaku? Yeah, that tracks.

This only works for about 3 seconds-- Kirikaze powers up and blows everyone away and then they stand around panting even though half of them haven’t actually done anything. I guess maybe they’re also weak because they are at the limits of their manifestation and need to go back into their swords soon? I don’t know! This episode explains none of this, I am just spitballin’ here!

It’s looking pretty dire and then the lieutenants show up!! Oh, this is so precious! Renji flashsteps in just in time to haul Zabimaru away from certain death! Kira casts a kidou, something none of the zanpakutou seem capable of doing! It’s super effective! The other shinigami just... give moral support, because like I said, that kidou was literally super effective.

Renji goes full-soccer coach and yells at everyone about not depending on their friends. I guess maybe it gave too big a morale bonus to everyone, because Kirikaze busts out of his kidou.

The zanpakutou spirits are running on empty at this point, so the ones whose soul reapers bothered to show up go back into their swords. They actually do a neat little thing where, like, when Rukia calls out her attack, they have Sode no Shirayuki’s voice superimposed over hers for the “dance” but then only Rukia’s for the “Sode no Shirayuki”. They do this for everyone, and it’s a nice touch. Classy.

I hope you’re sitting down for what happens next though: all the zanpakutou whose masters’ voice actors weren’t available for this episode (which includes seven captains and two other people with bankai, not counting Renji himself) deadass go into Renji. I guess it’s because he’s the only one with bankai? Maybe it’s because he’s tall and therefore has the most room? Actually, here’s the real reason: Shuuhei, Izuru, Momo, Rukia, Nanao or even Rangiku might hesitate while trying to figure out what to do with all that power, but Renji’s one braincell knew instantly what to do: make the most bitchin’ Hikotsu Taihou of all time.

For once, it actually worked!!! Wow! Extremely satisfying!

After this, they have this weird, introspective part with some avant garde camera work that makes it look like they’re putting on a production of Rent or something. Words cannot express how much I loved, so instead of trying to describe it, I’m going to abuse the number of pictures Tumblr lets you put in a post and make you look at all of it.

That’s right, my friend. It finally is.