#(when u can and if u want ofc lol i just like yelling XD)

[kindred-spirit-93]

penelope and her two bebehs 😌❤️

Telemachus birth

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hey, I hope you're better from your ankle! I was watching a kdrama (Good Casting) and ofc I need u to take one of the scenes to K LOL Imagine Fushimi being shot during a mission, and the alphabet boys (and Yata) make a fuss bc they find him fainted on the floor, bleeding, unresponsive etc. Then Fushimi goes to the hospital, Yata is crying his eyes out and everybody is like "wtf is wrong with him they are enemies right?" and it turns out the bullet just brushed Fushimi and he's fine pLEASE I NEED

Somehow my immediate takeaway from this is Fushimi is a giant drama queen who pretends he’s grievously wounded when he was really just grazed XD Say there’s this Strain with like high level sniper abilities, he’s already killed a few innocent civilians and has been targeting high level government officials. Scepter 4 is on the case trying to hunt the sniper down but even they’re having difficulties due to how good the Strain is at hiding their location. Homra also ends up assisting after one of their people is targeted and there’s like this uneasy truce between the two clans. Fushimi and Yata at one point end up stuck together investigating and of course they’re arguing the whole time, Fushimi mocks Yata for being so useless and getting in his way and decides to go off on his own. Yata yells after him but doesn’t follow, like if that asshole wants to go by himself fine. That’s when he hears a shot from the direction Fushimi went off in and feels this sudden sense of dread, running towards the sound like you asshole Saruhiko you better be okay.

He runs into the alphabet squad who are also following the sound of the same gunshot, they exchange concerned looks when Yata says Fushimi went this way. They turn a corner and find Fushimi lying in an open doorway unconscious with his uniform stained with blood. Yata immediately loses his shit, trying to shake Fushimi and yelling his name and the alphabet squad have to hold him back, like don’t move him too much before we can see where he’s injured. Yata’s fighting them off to get to Saruhiko while Akiyama calls for an ambulance, when it gets there the squad all follow after and Yata’s just left standing there staring after them, his own clothes stained with Fushimi’s blood. 

With some assistance from Kusanagi and Awashima Yata’s able to get into the hospital, imagine him staggering into Fushimi’s room and just collapsing into the chair next to the bed as he calls Fushimi an idiot, like why do you always have to go off on your own why don’t you ever tell me anything, he’s just in tears and so upset because if he hadn’t let Fushimi storm off maybe this wouldn’t have happened. One of the squad tries to go in to talk to him and is tugged back, they’re all kinda clustered in the doorway watching Yata like I thought those two were enemies. Yata’s holding Fushimi’s hand and being all don’t you dare die you asshole you’re not allowed to die. That’s when he hears this hazy ‘noisy…’ as Fushimi opens his eyes, Yata all but bursts into tears as he pulls Fushimi close as he’s like you idiot I thought you were really gone. Fushimi is all hazy from painkillers but also aware that he’s being hugged by Misaki, this is the point that Munakata shoos everyone out so that those two can have some time to discuss alone (which is why he didn’t allow any of the squad to tell Yata Misaki that Fushimi is largely fine, the bullet grazed him enough to bleed but he fell backwards and hit his head and was only unconscious due to a simple concussion).

[queerbluefae]

Ikeseries ships

Ikesen version

Mild nsfw //

Hideyoshi x Mitsuhide

Loyal inadvertant ladies man who is in unrequited love w his lord and wily fox who breathes secrets and lies, rivals to lovers/coworkers to lovers, 4k words-

Hide: *pushing Mitsu up against the wall, yelling at him to tell the truth for once*

Mitsu w a smirk: u want to kiss me so bad

Ofc its just a way for Mitsu to distract the man but maybe it leads to something more...?

Hideyoshi x Nobunaga

You cant tell me Nobunaga hasn't called Hide to his bed chambers at least once. Come on now. Hideyoshi is clearly in love w the man and Nobu uses that accordingly 😏

Nobu doesn't actually love his vassal the same way though so it only ends in heartbreak for poor Hide 😭

Nobunaga x Kicho

Friends to lovers to enemies to-

These 2 have sm potential but I need Kicho's route for more details.

Nobunaga x Kennyo

THE ANGST. THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS. THE HATE SEX. God they're so messy. But we love it 😏

Shingen x Kenshin

Enemies to friends to lovers

Flirt w a heart of gold x yandere. These two broken men find solace in each other but its a rocky road (lol) full of violence, sexual tension, respect and tragedy.

Shingen x Yukimura

Yuki has a huge crush on Shingen but Shingen only sees him as a son-oh the angst of an age gap romance!

Yukimura x Sasuke

Best buds who end up more than friends

Ieyasu x Mitsunari

Tsundere x angel who is immune to his tsun-ness (is that a word lol).

Honestly these two r great. They have a lot of canon interactions to go off of and the dynamic is just *chef's kiss*. Ieyasu is always irritated w Mitsunari but behind his brusque tongue & irritability he cares a lot for the man. Mitsunari sees past all the barbs and understands him more than anyone realises.

Shingen x Kennyo

They give divorced vibes. Shingen still flirts w the scarred man but Kennyo is intent on pushing his ex away while he's on this foolish revenge path, not wanting to hurt him anymore than he already had.

Kennyo x Ranmaru

Yes, age gap bad blah blah blah BUT omg devoted student who will do anything for his master, even go against his lord & beliefs? Perfect recipe for a good ship methinks.

Masamune x Yukimura

Blue and red. Need I say more?

No but seriously I wish they interacted more because they have great potential. I can imagine Masa doting on Yuki, keeping him well-fed, both foodwise and in bed haha. They've got good banter and a great mix of clashing personalities. I can see Masa having a lot of fun teasing the lad.

And ofc enemies to lovers for the win!

Masamune x Ieyasu

Similar to above Masa loves teasing the spikey-haired hedgehog and seeing his reactions. Its his favourite pastime. But is there something more going on between the two...? 👀

Motonari x Kicho

Working together for a common goal, Kicho would mellow out Motonari's fire and Motonari would bring out the passion in Kicho.

Kenshin x Sasuke

Ok but these two would be so funny in a relationship. Kenshin's all: "I will fuck you tonight" and Sasuke, deapan is like: "now that's not part of my job description". Also its Sasuke who ends up doing the fucking 😏

Shingen x Ranmaru

Ik they haven't interacted like at all but I love the potential of this ship. Shingen romancing pretty boy Ranmaru to get at Nobunaga, not knowing Ranmaru works for Kennyo!

Daddy Kennyo would be mighty upset w his old friend when he finds out XD.

Shingen: haha and so Ranmaru's my paramour now-

*Kennyo immediately drawing his hidden sword from his staff*

Shingen, dodging: whoa, take it easy there, old friend

Ranmaru, calling from the sidelines: i told u he wouldn't take it well

Nobunaga x Ieyasu

Ieyasu has a lot of respect for his lord but what happens when he's called to his bedchamber for a night of passion?!

Ieyasu: I respect him but not /that/ much

Me: u do what I say, puppet man

Ok but haughty lord who expects everyone to bend to his will meet prickly Ieyasu who doesn't give a fuck. I'd love to see it personally.

Kenshin x Yoshimoto

Calm, sorrowful Yoshimoto has the ability to ground the lethal Kenshin when his violent tendencies get too much. They also would look gorgeous together ngl.

Motonari x Yoshimoto

Again, I feel like Yoshimoto has the ability to calm people and I feel like the unpredictable Motonari needs that & would get hooked on the man. Plus, pirates r a very homoerotic group, what with them being alone at sea w just each other for company (look it up! History is great) and Yoshi would be considered a great beauty among them-Motonari would be beating the other men off with a stick!

Motonari x Ranmaru

Idk abt personality wise but I had an idea for an au where Ranmaru pretends to be a cabin boy on Motonari's ship in order to get info and all the pirates r won over by his charming, idol-like persona-except Motonari. Ranmaru is determined to crack the man's devil may care facade, at first because of his mission but quickly changes to his own interest. Idk i just think that'd be neat :)

Mitsuhide x Ranmaru

Mitsuhide suspects Ranmaru's up to something and in order to find out the truth he gets closer to the lad. When Ranmaru is found out to be a traitor Mitsuhide is the one who must torture him but he can't bear to do it and lets him go. For Ranmaru's part he has fallen for the man and torn between his loyalty to his master and love for Mitsuhide. The angst is piping hot.

Keiji x Kanetsugu

Something definitely happened between these two while they were spying together 😏 no doubt abt it. This ship got that good enemies to friends to lovers vibe going on and I for one think they'd be a power couple.

Shingen x Kanetsugu

But what abt Kenshin?! you ask. Kanetsugu is definitely in love with his lord. And Shingen knows it. But that man would flirt with a pole. He has absolutely no scruples when it comes to flirting and loves trying to get a reaction out of Kanetsugu. He knows just the spots to poke too.

Kenshin x Kanetsugu

Kanetsugu: My lord, I would do anything for you.

Kenshin: Kneel.

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Ok so maybe thats more something Nobu would say to Hideyoshi but fanon doesn't have to be canon compliant!!! Whereas Hideyoshi would choke and splutter being told that by his lord, Kanetsugu would remain stoic and silently do as he was ordered. Kenshin would probably get bored of this behaviour and idk if he'd ever feel romantic love for his vassal...ooh the angst!

Nobunaga x Keiji

I can imagine Nobunaga getting bored of Keiji's mask and figuring out ways to rip it open and mess it up.

Nobunaga x Yukimura

Nobunaga captures Yukimura, wanting to use him against his lord but Nobu would get more than he bargained for with this fiery man. Nobunaga would tell him to kneel and Yukimura would spit in his face.

Nobunaga: Come now, pup, there's no need for that. Just /give in/ and it'll all be over...

Yukimura: fuck. off.

The battle of wills would be delicious.

Shingen x Ieyasu

What if Ieyasu got sent to Kai as a hostage instead of Azuchi? Shingen's a softie so he'd look out for the lad and a feeling of protectiveness would start to bloom in him. Ieyasu respects the man but thinks of him as too much of a flirt to take his advances seriously until one day Shingen snaps and...let's just say things escalate 😏👀

Kennyo x Yoshimoto

Idk they just compliment each other aesthetically. Rugged Kennyo vs beautiful porcelain doll Yoshimoto. They're both so calm and carry a dark burden i think they'd bond over.

[Alright this post is big enough. I'm sure there r more potential ikesen ships and I'll edit this post if I think of any accordingly. Let me know what u think!]

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Ok so I've been stalking your blog for the past couple of hrs after seeing your TadaAi posts (I'm drowning in the period drama that is this ship) and I find you ship Tododeku and rinharu (god i can't stand bakudeku and makoharu) and seems like we share a lot of our views on fandom and ships probably because we're older (I'm 22). Followed and looking forward to your input in the future!

Also you might've given me the motivation to finish watching Free! XD

Hehe yay, please, we need more ppl in our “house of oldies”, make yourself at home lol. And we share a lot of ships?! Even better <3

I knooow, I can’t believe we’ve got a gay “master who fell in love with his servant” ship in the anime, just what I needed for my idiotic collection lmao

But also these two have too much going on between them, so much wasted potential in my opinion, it’d be so interesting to explore (but sadly no xD), they were still the only interesting thing for me lolz. I love complicated morons, who became the victims of a huge unrequited requited love misunderstanding, bc they’re insecure morons lmao and they just have 2 of my fav ships vibes, so it’s probably mostly this haha. 

Oh, I’m inputting *wink wink*, can’t wait to finish the vid, I’m having too much fun with it. I’ve just literally spent several minutes trying to get whether I’ve put Tadashi’s sexy mole in the right distance from his eye in the “him moaning on the table” manip lolz. What can I say... I picked the best hobby, with all the support I’m getting with my vids, I’m living a dream xD

You know, I think I’ve said it before, but when it comes to bakudeku, I at least understand what ppl hope to see there and why, but like.. it’s just not happenning. Also imagining Bakugou lovingly hugging Midoriya is just so OOC I start laughing all the time. And whatever ppl say, in any ship whether they’re enemies or rivals or anything, if you can’t imagine them being tender with each other, smth is not right in my opinion. Also once again, who needs idiotic bleating Midoriya, idk. I’m just tired of the endless “die, deku/out of my way” yelling, I like watching Bakugou going to parties and amusement parks and doing silly stuff, too. Like I’ve said before, pride won’t ever let him change the way he behaves with Midoriya, even when they’re doing “great”. If he was the one, it wouldn’t have mattered, no matter how tough you are, and it wouldn’t take that long. I also don’t think they’re that kind of relationship, like they move each other for sure, sometimes, yeah (not always in a good way tho), but be together in a relationships? Can’t imagine that. Like not all rivals have the rivals to lovers dynamic, no matter what ppl say. But I get the shipping, bc 1stly these two are playing too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him and Bakugou obsessed with him too (just in a bad way lmao) and 3rd ppl want that “enemies to lovers” dynamic, since many love it (me included, when it done right and progresses right), so they’re trying to write that “to lovers” bridge, that just doesn’t fit here in my opinion, simply bc Bakugou won’t be soft with Midoriya, like ever in a way, you’d want, and I don’t think it’s possible for them to go there.

Tododeku on the other hand, 1stly they also play too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him too and Todoroki is lovingly obsessed with him in return, 3rdly they are also rivals to lovers, and I have no problem imagining the second part, it won’t be OOC, 4thly Midoriya when he’s with Todoroki is my fav Midoriya, he’s happy, he is cocooned and he’s badass af (and like when he told Endeavor to fuck off or yelled at Todoroki “the fuck are u doing?” xD are still the best), 5thly Midoriya forgets about Bakugou, when he’s with Todoroki a lot and it’s just funny to me, 6thly they healed each other so nicely, I can’t not be into that, 7thly when they’re together I have like 0 worries, idk I’m like “he will catch him” anyways haha, Bakudeku just don’t give me this vibe. It’s like yeah, they won’t let each other die, but it’s always this chaos of “out of my way”, “I don’t want your help” and “let me punch you before I punch the villain” that I’m just “oh for god’s sake, pls bring in Kirishima and Todoroki so we could just go home, it could’ve been solved in 2 minutes” lmao. Etc, etc.

Tododeku just have too many winning points over bakudeku for me, same with kiribaku over bakudeku, even tho I 100% get bakudeku as a ship ofc. Also idk whether things would be different if Todoroki wouldn’t exist in the equation, but the moment I saw that s2 scene where Bakugou started yelling and Todoroki just ignored him and was like “was Midoriya always this good?”, there was no going back to me XD. Like they both obviously see that Midoriya is wonderful, but only one reacted to that in a way that I wanted. And I’m a sucker for the ships who don’t give a fuck and like “yeah, I find him amazing and everyone should know that”. Todoroki is also one of those guys, who if you give them the much needed love, they’ll return it tenfold with a forever devotion. And all of my fav ships are like that: Yullen, Rinharu, Mikayuu, Wangxian, Akakuro, etc. They’re like “well, I ain’t an idiot to let someone this precious go”, you know lol

On the other hand, when it comes to Kirishima, Bakugou can do all kind of ridiculous thing I wouldn’t imagine he would do to keep him or make him happy, you know. Kirishima is also the only one, who can put his arm around Bakugou without it being cut off, so I don’t make the rules here lol.

So it’s not like I can’t stand bakudeku, more of like can’t imagine this work, to me it’s easier to imagine todobaku in a relationships, but not bakudeku lolz.

But when it comes to makoharu, I just have a huge problem with it and I will never get it. Bc they don’t bring anything good in each other like AT ALL, I don’t even understand what kind of relationships this is from their shipper point of view; they give each other nothing, and one of them is totally in love with someone else and wants a future with him. And that someone also head over heals with him and also wants a future with him. And I hate how 99,9 % of mh fans don’t give a fuck about Haru or Rin whatsoever and just ignore their character’s everything. Bc Makoto. I’m also like if you love him so much, the fuck would you want him to be with Haru anyways, dude doesn’t reciprocate, like at all. I’m at confusion, like name good points of this ship and what good can they do for each other characteristically. There is none, it’s like a damn swamp. Like usually I can give my notp some points, but this is like... they’re both no good for each other... like... why would anyone even want this idk. Don’t tell me “for the childhood friends” one-sided dynamic, like why won’t you also ship Shion with Safu then, like even he seemed more invested in that, than Haru in makoharu lol.

Even if you think of them from the point of view of “the two who are always walking together” ships, that are everywhere nowdays (even tho since Haru moved to Tokyo, he was always with Asahi instead), but even if... those kind of ships are usually at least make each happy and are enough for each other. Haru on the other hand, when he doesn’t have Rin, he is walking with Makoto like a ghost, not even caring if he’s talking next to him AND he’s getting ennoyed by him. Like explain, how someone’s shipping them romantically. It’s been showed like 20 times, that with Rin, but without Makoto, he can be perfectly happy, without Rin tho, he never is.

Also someone explain, what exactly is the point of splitting up two characters, who are happy together, make each other the best versions of themselves and want to be together whole-heartedly? Like I know many start shipping smth, bc the relationships are better in the other pairing, for example, but this is like... definitely not the case here. Like what exactly is missing in rinharu, that makoharu has? Lack of progression and mutual inspiration?

So yes, if you’re into rinharu, totally finish Free! They’re like doing sooo incredible and holy shit they’re inspiring, I mean, look, they’re now the tokyo olympics ambassadors, like how many of yall gay ships reached that? you can’t miss out on them, and also they’re so hilariously romantic, they literally made a wish to swim with each other since they were 13 and did everything to get each other there, I’m.. you’re lying, if you didn’t cry watching them as chibies making wishes on a star and watching them now. One of the most wonderful development in my opinion. Like who would’ve thought back in s1, that we’ll get Haru yelling on top of Rin about how he made him want a future with him, def not me lmao and now all the olympics boyfriends fanfiction are true, I mean, idk what to say anymore. I miss them so much, I can’t wait for the movie :D

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 5 part 1 (shinka no natsu)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki) day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!) day 4 (shousha to haisha)

guests: kagechan, fucchi, shouri, takumi

(...the haikyuu day event sure did wipe everything else from my brain, wow. but. i'll do my best...!)

so when the cast first ran out, shouri wasn't there – he just hung back without telling anyone because kagechan kept looking back at the wings and cracking up and takumi looked like he wanted to die. this was, of course, so that after kagechan welcomed the audience to haikyuu summer week, shouri could stroll out dramatically and say "HEY, YOUR SENPAI IS HERE. your senpai in this event. and in haikyuu. your senpai." ok shouri.

kagechan was nominally the MC and he did an impressive job fighting the black hole of attention that is kondou-kun for control. XD but... shouri: who's the MC anyway kagechan: it's me?? it's obviously me? fucchi: i mean, we don't know yet. shouri: i was the MC for karasuno fukkatsu so i'll kindly let one of you first-timers do it – takumi, you want to MC right? takumi: ……...yeah………sure…….... shouri: he does. i can see it in his face.

then they did janken and fucchi won so he briefly took over, just long enough to skip to the end of the script – "how did you all enjoy the screening today??" kagechan: this is as far as we rehearsed.

during cheer practice we did shouri's dumb high school cheer again. for him. not kuroo. XD

when we practiced the "volleyball, haikyuu" bit they briefly mentioned how strong the impact of adding "ue wo miageru" was – i think it was shouri maybe? who said that when first reading the script it jumped right out at him and made him like, reflexively want to look at the ceiling. ...and that the returning cast kept messing up in rehearsal, for a while there would always be several people who forgot to say "ue wo miageru" and went straight to "kyuugi de aru", lol.

and shouri ALMOST got us to do his "nyan nyanya nyan nyan nyan" cheer for nekoma, he got all the way through explaining it to everyone else, and telling us that he'd gotten whistled off for it the other day, and asking the ref for permission, and through one round of tobe tobe karasuno / hey hey fukuro / ike ike nekoma nya nya-- ...and got whistled off. XD

meanwhile, takumi kept sliding off toward the edge of the stage and shouri would be like "GET BACK HERE" and pull him into the middle. and then get distracted harassing someone and takumi would slide away again. much like with naoki, he got pulled into doing a lot more choreo than he would have otherwise simply by virtue of being in proximity to shouri, lol. (i heard the girls behind me at hajimari no kyojin that night laughing about "poor higashi-kun", haha.) only whereas naoki played the straight man aloud, takumi just silently, like, grinned and bore it.

having said that, during the screening shouri was obviously Peak Shouri, but hilariously enough he TIRED HIMSELF OUT by running around so much so i actually don't think it was as over the top as karasuno fukkatsu.

specifically, it was the scenes at coach ukai's that killed him, he and takumi came out as the elementary school kids bouncing around and acting super dumb and then shouri started running around doing every one of the tempos and eventually he had to like, wipe his face and lean over and brace himself he was breathing so hard. shouri u noodle.

takumi also made shouri act out bokuto's part so he could be konoha. it was cute, the way they were careful to respect that it was kouki on screen but that takumi took over the role later without making it seem awkward or unnatural. like during the bit where bokuto yells "the moment you think you can hit a strong spike, that's your chance" -- "kyouretsu na ippatsu ga uteru to omotta shunkan ga...kouki!" -- shouri jumped up and yelled "KOUKI!!!!" along with him and jabbed his finger excitedly at the screen. he brought it up in the aftertalk too. "HAHA IT WAS SO FUNNY TO SEE KOUKI YELLING HIS OWN NAME. :D"

ok back to the beginning tho. unsurprisingly, they had a lot of fun with the hamlet scene – kagechan's timing for running out, lifting his hand slowly, and reciting "SOSHITE, YOKUASA" was BEAT perfect, it got a massive laugh from the audience.

for the opening, they all did their own parts of course – fucchi running out to yell "KIYOKO-SAN" was a joy to behold – but shouri also did sarukui, hips and all, which was sure Something.

when takechan came out to explain the "school rules", shouri literally just galloped across the stage and disappeared into the wings opposite, it was like he couldn't bear to be off stage. XD at first fucchi was as bouncy as shouri, doing all the choreo and super star rolling thunder etc, but eventually he calmed down and sat there watching the screening super seriously, sometimes he was the only one out there.

meanwhile, the ladies made their first appearance! let me tell you, you have never seen such a group of fangirls over saeko/kiyoko-san, i thought everyone in the audience was gonna literally swoon at saeko's first appearnce. self included, obvs. (ofc everyone loved yacchan but that was more of a "you're adorable" and less of a "please wreck me" vibe.) it was also extremely satisfying to yell "akaaaAAAAshi" in one's best bokuto voice along with one thousand other people. and during the exam prep, "norio" also got his own round of character cheers. XD

when yachi yells "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!!" shouri ran out with a cardboard sign that read "MURABITO B", held it up proudly to cheers, then spent several minutes trying to get it to stay upright on one of the chairs. ("nice fight!" someone in the audience called.) murabito b remained on stage in support for the rest of the screening.

for "kageyama's not breathing!" kagechan flopped dramatically to the stage…. and then takumi ran out to do cpr! only it was such like, soft, gentle cpr that kagechan sat up and burst into laughter. in the car with saeko-neesan, kagechan pretended to fall asleep, and then acted out waking up, putting in eyedrops, etc. "ohayou," fucchi told him solemnly.

kagechan and fucchi did a great job with the synchro attack and then with all of karasuno's ending match/group number choreo. hilariously, all four of them started to do the final choreo that includes a bit of each school's signature moves and shouri forgot to do nekoma's. XD "it wasn't that long ago, idk why it's so hard to remember!" he said later, and having witnessed him reenact practically the entirety of karasuno fukkatsu i too wondered the same thing.

oh oh! when karasuno are doing the wheelbarrel walks, kagechan "wheeled" fucchi out all the way across the stage – then when they reached the wings, fucchi held himself up with one arm for several seconds while gesturing at kagechan and without taking a break they reversed course and "walked" back across the stage. from which i conclude that kid has amazing arm strength!

AND THEN.

during the last practice match against fukurodani, as kageyama debates whether to try out the new quick with hinata...

...suga kenta ran on stage, said "yannai no?" and ran off.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE DIDN'T ALL KNOW HE WAS THERE but oh my god the screeching, holy shit. again, self very much included. knowing how much kenta loves that line, i should have known that would be too much for him to resist. and yet. dies. it was incredible.

hilariously, the cast, who were pointing and laughing in shock just like everyone else, didn't acknowledge this surprise until the very end of the aftertalk. "ah yes, someone who… resembled… that orange-haired person on stage… appeared earlier, huh. briefly."

speaking of the aftertalk!

takumi talked about how this play was his stage debut: shouri: he cried ALL THE TIME. he cried at our first cast meeting. he cried on opening night... our takumi's grown so much! :') takumi: ……..….thanks. takumi: i was too nervous to enjoy anything until the play opened tbh. shouri: dude you're nervous right now. takumi: ……..yeah.

apparently during rehearsal takumi was repeatedly told to speak up more during fukurodani's group scenes – no one could hear him contribute to "hey hey hey" etc. but once the show actually opened and they could hear the audience reactions to fukurodani and everything he got less nervous and it became a lot more fun.

shouri: yeah, you had sarukui and everything, lol… i heard the audience calling "kawaii!!" when he appeared earlier and honestly if that's what you call cute... audience: KAWAII kagechan: seriously, i need a dictionary for this.

then shouri pointed out that although in the source material the characters don't use first names that much, in the last barbecue scene ken-chan alone would come on super strong and go around addressing all the characters by their first name. "OI, TETSUROU. TETSUROU. HAVE SOME MORE MEAT." so even though they weren't miked he was so loud that during these serious conversations you can hear him in the background going "TETSUROU. TETSUROU."

OH fucchi told us that "super star rolling thunder" was originallly "stardust rolling thunder"… because fucchi's agency is stardust promotions. XD fucchi: and in that scene i'm with ino hiroki-kun and nagao shizune-chan fucchi: and, you know, they sparkle fucchi: like stardust

apparently he got the go-ahead from worry-san, but not from the higher ups, precisely because of stardust promotions. XD shouri: then why don't you do it now? stardust rolling thunder. fucchi: i, wai-- fucchi: fucchi: fucchi: :| shouri: ^___^ fucchi: i knew it.

from which i conclude fucchi had tried to get out of doing it during their MC planning or something. XD

fucchi: you have to be the sparkles shouri: but i'm watanabe fucchi: -_- shouri: get takumi too fucchi: takumi, what's your agency? takumi: beaco-- fucchi: it's fine, it's fine, over there please

final messages: takumi's was very polite and respectful as he thanked the audience, it was cute. shouri said that watching shinka no natsu made him fondly remember all the work the different schools did to grow as a team and learn to communicate with each other during that summer – it was their irl summer of evolution. fucchi pointed out that he and kagechan will reach their hundredth haikyuu show during the saikyou no team! and kagechan said that he was here sitting in audience -- "right around there" – watching for the shoen dress rehearsal so it was really special to be here in aiia as a proper part of engeki haikyuu. :)

hajimari no kyojin next, then some off-camera stories from event night! THE GOAL LINE IS IN SIGHT. thanks so much for the nice comments, i really appreciate them, and i've been enjoying reading your capslocky tags. :D

[kirishwima]

how about Grace Kelly by Mika and the ship is klance? (ofc i'd pick that xD)

ok but please tell me that im remembering this right and this song was used for years in a Cadbury advertisement? I heard it an immediately got flashbacks of that LOL ;u;

send me a song & a pairing/fandom for a short drabble based on the song!

*******

“Keith? Dude come on, you’ve been in there for two days. Can you just like, unlock your door before I ask Allura to smash through it?”

Lance’s knocks seemed to fall on deaf ears, another knock earning him a muffled ‘Go away’ from across the door.

How long was Keith planning to keep this up anyway?

It started after their latest mission, an easy success for the team that led to high fives and fist bumps the moment they got out of their lions, even going as far as to receive praise from Allura.

Keith seemed alright at the time, but the moment he went to tug his helmet off, Lance noticed his eyes widen, hands shaky where they held the helmet, before he ran off, leaving the rest of the team to stare after him.

Shiro was the first to run to Keith, telling the rest of the team he’ll try and see what’s wrong, but to no avail; Keith bolted his bedroom door shut, refusing to let anyone through.

Allura tried, knocking gently on his door before Hunk and Shiro had to pull her back when she started prying the door with sheer force.

Pidge tried bribing him with gadgets for Red, Hunk with sweets and hugs; yet Keith persisted, either via giving them the silent treatment or by yelling at them to go away.

Lance tried a few times, knocking so softly he wasn’t sure if Keith heard him, only to get a whimpered ‘leave’ in response.

He let it slide the first time, figuring it might just be nerves from a mission or some of Keith’s typical broodiness.

By night, he felt more agitated, pacing back and forth in his room, leaving a few times and standing short outside Keith’s door, only to hesitate when his knuckles reached the door, shaking his head and leaving with a huff.

On the second day, Lance had had enough.Keith got his broody-time, and frankly? Two entire days of teenage angst were more than enough in Lance’s mind.

When Keith yelled another ‘Go!’ Lance clicked his tongue, and took one, two, three deep breaths before steadying his voice, trying to be as straight-forward as he could.

“Keith, you either open this door right now and give me proof you’re alive and well, or I will go down to the hangar and shove Red here if I have to.”

He heard a gasp from inside the door, figuring that might’ve just done the trick; hell hath no fury over a worried Red Lion after all.

Yet there was no distinct sound of footsteps, no mullet in sight for Lance to breath in relief.

Lance counted his options, figuring there weren’t many left.He could continue the empty threats, or go for a teasing so bad Keith would have no choice than to open the door and give him that cute glare of his, the one where his eyebrows furrow and his bottom lip sticks out, arms folded and back slumped.

Or….Or he could be sincere.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look man, we’re all worried okay? I’m worried. I get that sometimes you need some alone time, it’s okay and it’s healthy, but pushing everyone out like this, trying to face things alone when there’s so many people here that want to support and take care of you? That’s not the right way to go about this.”

There was silence in the room, so Lance continued, leaning his forehead onto the door.

“You’re…you’re my friend. Honestly, maybe a little more than that. I mean it’s kind of impossible not to fall for you when you got that cute stare and are literally the coolest person on earth you know?”

Not noticing the sound of footsteps, Lance continued with a soft chuckle, feeling his heartbeat increase with each word that slipped his mouth.

“Like honestly, you’d think the mullet and the whole My Chemical Romance angst would kill it but honestly? I actually like that about you. Oh my god I-I just said I like your mullet Keith do you realise how much I gotta like you to say that?!”

He didn’t get to continue his shocked monologue, because a moment later he heard the swishing sound of doors opening, finding his body falling forward and into a sturdy surface, warm hands gripping his back.

He. He fell onto Keith. Onto Keith’s chest. Right after confessing his gay, undying love to him.

Lance, to this day, has no clue how he didn’t immediately combust at that.

He felt Keith take a deep breath, unable to turn his head to face him with Keith’s jaw resting over the top of Lance’s head, arms holding him in place.

“You…you won’t like me when you see this.”

“See what?”

Keith slowly, hesitantly let his arms fall away from Lance’s back, letting the taller boy lean away and finally face Keith after two days of radio silence.

Keith looked…normal, more or less.His face was somewhat blotchy, the underside of his eyes littered with dark circles, eyelids red and puffy, gaze downcast, posture more recluse, arms wrapping around himself.

What was odd was that his usual mullet was-it was-

It wasn’t there.

In fact, except for a few stray hairs, Keith’s wonderful, luscious mullet, was hidden under a neon red beanie, reaching down and covering Keith’s forehead.

Noticing Lance’s confused expression, he brought a hand to the beanie, taking it off with shaky hands, and Lance was wondering why the hell Keith was suddenly so self conscious of his mullet until-

Oh.

Oh.

The mullet was indeed gone, replaced by choppy short hair that oddly enough made Lance’s heart both leap in loops and cry in mourning for his favourite mullet-head, but it wasn’t that that made his jaw drop, oh no.

Atop Keith’s head, his hair turned from black to shades of purple, extending up into what Lance could only describe as…ears. Fluffy, purple, Galra ears.

He must’ve been silent for a while, because Keith huffed, fiddling with the hem of the beanie before moving to put it back on.

“I told you you wouldn’t like me after this. I look disgusting, I’m-“

“Keith. Keith buddy no, put that beanie down and let me look at your…fluffiness for a sec.” Lance managed, tugging Keith’s wrist down from his head and taking the beanie from his hands.

He noticed the way Keith’s cheeks tinted pink, how his ears, his new Galra purplish ears twitched to the sides in Keith’s self-conscious efforts to stay still.

“Keith, babe. I think…I think I’m turning into a furry.”

They stared at each other for a moment before Keith broke, giggling behind his hand at first before laughing loudly, to the point of tearing up.

“You don’t think I’m hideous?” he asked when he calmed down, when they sat side by side on Keith’s bed, hands intertwined.

“I think you’re perfect as you are, always. Even if I tease you all the time.”

Keith hummed, looking down to his feet before peeking up at Lance, ears perking up.

“I…I like you too. I was so scared that you’d change your mind when you saw me, that if you were already teasing me about my hair, that I wouldn’t hear the end of it about this” he said, pointing to his ears.

“About that..” Lance said, willing his heart to still, his mind to stop replaying that sweet, sweet ‘I like you too’, “what happened to your hair?! Why is it short? Is it a Galra thing?”

Keith absentmindedly run a hand through his hair, as if that didn’t make Lance’s entire life essence melt into a flustered happy puddle.

“I freaked out when I felt the ears so I kind of chopped my hair off? I don’t know, I guess I thought it’d make me feel a little better or something.”

Lance nodded solemnly, keeping oddly quiet.

Keith leaned closer, tugging at their interlinked fingers by his side.

“Lance? Is it…is it bad?”

He turned to Keith at that, face stoic.

“You’re gorgeous. But we need to hold a mullet for your funeral.”

Keith snorted, rolling his eyes.

“I’m serious! I’ll make a little coffin, put some locks of hair in there. Hunk will do the eulogy, we dress in all black-not that you’d have to change or anything, and we have a full week of mourning.”

Lance knocked his forehead with Keith’s, letting a teasing smirk roll onto his lips.“That, or you can maybe kiss me and we forget the whole mullet-teasing ever happened?”

Keith happily obliged.

Even if they still held a funeral for the mullet after all, burying the tiny coffin, the words on the tombstone saying;

‘In memory of Keith and Lance’s ridiculous mutual pining. Oh, yeah, and for Keith’s bad hair decisions.’

******

this was so ridiculous LOL sorry, but short hair keith WITH galra ears?? um?? heck yes??

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[yeogiyoongibuteora]

.:BTS in PROM:.

Miyu note: Well, I was now full of energy ready to work again on my computer for entire days when this suddenly came out while speaking with Leen so yeah c: Thanks Leen for always being there to hear my strange ideas, tho maybe our prom was quite strange for me I enjoyed that we could at least take a pic <3 and I’m ready to continue clinging onto you for another 4 years so ya better be ready gurrrrl! (Miyu being emo now, don’t mind her, ily Leen <33333 u know it all ya mah best friend :’D)

Gifs aren’t mine! Also this is all just fiction and I wanted to make these funny, so please chill xd

Jungkook

Don't come near him, he'll flinch

Didn't want to come in the first place

Did so cuz u and his mom begged him and well-

"Too many girls in dresses" jungshook

jk jk well... maybe not, deal with him

Probably searching with his eyes for you the entire night but- too many ppl help this boi-

Prob the one who stays in the bathroom till his family says: let's go

Taehyung

The one that joins the dance floor when his old jam comes out

"Jagi JAGI LET'S daaAANCEEEEE!!!!!!"

Is never in his seat, always walking around

Made new friends of lower years in the bathroom really boi

Be careful around him or else you'll fall down because he accidentally step in your dress

Jimin

"Hello theeeeere-"

Tries to act smooth and gives you compliments all over

Honestly he'll get shy after doing so but whatevs

Compliment him please he's a sucker for that

Prob would get a lil emotional cuz he's graduating and he ain't going to see some of his friends again

Tries to interact with all his friends as much as he can

Namjoon

"I'm... Really graduating rn?"

Is Namshook

I mean ofc he knew he wasn't going to fail any signature and yeah but he still can't believe how time went by so quickly

Tried to take a marshmallow and ended up breaking the chocolate fountain (no one noticed it anyway)

Would probably be shy to dance but if you beg he won't be able to say no to you tbh

Needs a picture of you, you look so gorgeous he could die right there istg

Becomes very emotional at 4 a.m in the party when everyone's drunk and he's talking about other universes and the what ifs

Hoseok

He was screaming all the way to the prom

yelled in the middle of the speech to encourage his classmate

Hands on your waist cuz: "You look too beautiful, it's dangerous for my hearteu" (ok, so you better let go so u won't suffer-) "no"

Wants so badly to give you kisses all over your face but knows your make-up would get ruined so just pouts internally

Dances on the dancefloor, the hallways, the table, the bathroom, the first floor, the second floor, outside, with you, with your parents, with his classmates, with your friends, with his friends, with the teachers, with the other parents, with the lower years kids, with the floor, with the dog, with jesus christ, with god- (u understand now lol)

Is all smiley but after the party when he reaches his house cries his heart out cuz: MY FRIENDS NOOOOO- too lateu hobi

Yoongi

"Are they seriously going to make us come up on stage to take our damn papers-"

Is done with everything since the day started lol

Only came because of his friends and he wanted to see you so well

Sits with his friends the entire party with a neutral face

He ain't bored but he ain't enjoying idk how to explain that? lol

Jokes aside would probably get very real and tell good words to all the people he cares for -y'all will cry with him istg-

Secretly took tons of pictures of the party -and ofc of you ;)-

Cringes when he sees the video the teacher made with old pictures of y'all

Jin

Prom? Wth is dat, this is Jin's birthday party boi-

lmfao or that's what it seems like xD

All over the food, you can fight me on that. 

He probably noticed Nam broke the chocolate fountain but he ain't telling anyone -Namjin anyone-

"Ah, of course, we're the best looking couple in this party Y/N"

Dad jokes all the way for real, he went up on stage only to tell one I'm-

Ain't caring for anything, he's going to the dancefloor with you if you want 

Probably goes to the bathroom often to check if his suit still looks good

Selfies are a must gurl!

Screamed when an old selfie came in the video the teachers made -he's going to sue-

Admin Miyu (with the help of my forever best friend Eileeeen <3)

[survivorelara]

Episode #15: “what fucking blog?” - Sam

a close second is another Sam quote, “is he not from london”

oh kori…. you fell right into the trap my guy. you better win that fic....

Final 4, wow, who'da thunk I'd find myself here? I've never been this far before in any ORG, so doing the Rites of Passage is a bit surreal for me. I probably flopped at it, but maybe I didn't... I don't know. XD

I'm just so happy to have come this far, Loris claimed in his exit words that I'm winning, not sure if that's true or not, but I'm certainly hopeful that's for sure. I've put in a lot of work, so I hope to see some results though even getting this far is huge for me.

I'm still not sure what F3 configuration would be the best for me. I've been considering Me Roxy and Sam just because it might be more fun, they are the two people I worked with the most in this game, though I'm unsure because it's honestly a tad difficult to gauge how this Jury feels. They could be bitter against Roxy or it could have mellowed into admiration or at the very least respect. Ci'ere is also hard to place because of his relationships, and I question if he'd be bitter, or not if I voted him out, and if he isn't who he'd vote for. Alternatively if I take him to the end who does he have on the jury and who does he not have, difficult for sure.

Well, I'm totally flopping the challenges so far, I ruined Endurance because I didn't read it wasn't due til 8PM Saturday. (I could have started on Friday and gotten a crazy high time, but I fucked it up thinking this was all due within 24 hours like normal... I might have thought twice if I had ever been to F4 which I should've remembered is a multi-day affair.)

And the Maze, I mean anyone could do as badly as I did, but I doubt they will, it'd be tough to not beat my score.

I'm not confident in my knowledge of the players given I didn't know half of them, and the mystery challenge is well... a mystery.

The only one I feel like I could be good at is the Flash game... BUT IT WON'T LOAD.

Needless to say this is likely to be my worst F4 challenge performance. So I'm gonna have to up the charm, and hope Ci'ere doesn't win since I think they are the best person for me to pitch going instead of myself. (Also because I think their odds of winning is the highest between the other 3.)

Well I finally finished all the challenges, and I was a total flop for the most part, but everyone keeps saying they're flopping too, so who knows. I'm hopeful Sam got first in the Maze and Roxy got first in Endurance, since those were my weak areas, and I want to vote Ci'ere out.

Also with an even spread like that it raises my odds of winning this challenge. Though if Ci'ere totally killed all these challenges I'm probably dead AF.

Since I have no doubt if Ci'ere is safe Roxy is voting me, and Sam might even consider it too though I'd be willing to tie it for him in a similar scenario.

I just can't believe I've come so far, and I don't know if I'm gonna make it all the way despite all my effort, and it kills me to think that. I just hope I get a chance to plead my case to the jury, even if I lose I just want to actually make a FTC.

And gg y'all kori probs just won the season. That's literally the one thing that couldn't have happened

hi so uh I could die here, but im trying my fucking hardest to make it to ftc. I was just really busy these last few days and couldn't put in full effort on the fic which caused kori to win. and now it seems like the vote is between me and ci'ere. the vote originally was gonna be kori but ofc he won fic so here we are... on the edge of my seat trying my best to not get final juror again. I s2g if I get final juror in back to back orgs im actually gonna just get drunk and fuck a dude

so ive got kori on my side who's gonna vote ci'ere with me, which is good because that at least guarantees me a tiebreaker chance. Right now though im tryna convince roxy to vote him as well instead of me because I could easily lose the tiebreaker challenge and not make ftc which would be devastating. Because the thing is, as much as I feel kori has a strong shot at winning this game, I feel I can work some magic and maybe turn this thing around to get me the win, but I gotta get to ftc first

Everyone knows they can beat roxy so shes the deciding vote on if ciere goes or if we are going to a tiebreaker. Ive been talking to her all day now tryna spit facts and lies into her head to get her to change her mind. she fears that if she votes ciere out that she wont get his vote, but I told her straight up if that's what shes worried about and I go on the jury then I wont vote for her either, so now she has no incentive to put me on the jury except if im a bigger threat for her or whatever. I mean lets be real, this is gonna be a very bitter jury. and most of that hate will be directed at me. roxy fears we played similar games but I told her straight up if im there with her, ill receive most of the jury's hate which could be a shield for her and maybe have the jury see her game more since people will probably only vote kori because he isn't as hated. he hasn't played a bad game but he's been a gamebot all game and only played alright, I feel I played great but have to own up to everything and swallow my ego and let the jury know how bad I feel or whatever and let them yell at me. roxy isn't winning, those are the facts. but I need her to vote ciere so I can get to ftc and try and beat kori.

so im just gonna keep bullshitting and say I can be her meatshield in terms of hatred being thrown at us and hope ciere gets final juror instead over me. but one way or another, roxy aint winning lol

jesus Christ roxy just needs to understand she isn't fucking winning this game and should just give me a shot lmao. like some votes she MIGHT have over me can easily be taken away by ciere being there, and I told her that. im really fighting for this like fuck man I want to get to ftc again

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!

I WON THE FINAL CHALLENGE! I'm so fucking ecstatic I'm gonna be in the freaking finale. This is the hardest part though trying to know who to vote.

I'm leaning heavily voting out Ci'ere due to what I believe his jury connections are, but also because I think my game stands out more when I'm with Roxy and Sam due to their games being... well basically the same.

They both, ultimately voted out the person who idoled them, they both tended to lie excessively, they both never won a challenge, and there are more similarities as I go on.

I love everyone in this final 4 though, and it's been so amazing playing with all of them. I just hope I can pull out a win, taking Roxy and Sam could be a mistake as their games were ballsy and if the jury buries any ill will they could decide to award one of them the win and view me as a goat.

So far me and Sam are both voting Ci'ere, but Roxy has been a bit dodgy, so it might go to a tie, which while I'm not a fan of Ci'ere proceeding since I think he'll give me a run for my money, I think Sam would be a lock vote for me so that's a benefit there.

I'm still thinking about the trial ahead because I know this game isn't over, it's the final stretch and I've begun a strong finish, and I need to make sure I deliver at FTC. It's my first one, and I would hate to blow it.

Dani: everyone more or less voted dani. Ciere caused chaos and had his name thrown about . One of drew h or t leaked to him. Probs drew h. Who led on dani? It started with john? He wanted ciere out I think. Dylan: this was kori's move but only on the surfave. I told kori to get drew t into the plan cause he originally complained about dyl been not rlly there but it sort of  ended up with him wanting to protect dyl as a free agent. Me and Dylan were close but I still let myself cut him because I formed an alliance with emma and andrea and promised her id never betray her this game and I sorta wanted to take emma to the end but who didnt. Me and sam were contemplating things but he didnt make us flip or vote the way we did. Sam I think was already on that side tho so not rlly middle. Ciere voted emma?? Minority tryna get a revati out. John: apparently kori came up with john first but I wanted him out the previous vite to weaken the drews so theyd depend on me nn emma and andrea brought him up. There was a plan to couter it by going after andrea I think or mv it was emma but again  I was with andrea and emma so I told rm I already voted john when I didnt to make a dumb excuse why I couldn't vote with em nn. Sam voted john along with the revatis  ciere tagged along I recon still wanted a revsti out. Drew t. Apparently kori pushed for him and loris and andrea sorta messy if u ask me. This vote was me and ciere I recon. Although it was andrea vrs drew so I wanted to protect andrea again sigh but also we wanted to seperate sam and drew t.  Kori voted andrea or drew t mb drew t. Andrea and sam did ciere. Sam got outplayed here I recon. Ciere voted drew t too but left the decision to me so? Emma. She played her idol on me. My one regret was not getting her to idol herself but I doubted ciere a bit too much and was too stressed from the final count down to think it over. We also didnt eexpect everyone to flip on emma on the revote. Same just tagged along and ciere's plans failed but ultimately they got emma out. Drew h: I wish here I told andrea of the probability of them voting her out so we coudve voted loris out then and there like a blindside. Sam just went along and ciere voted with his probable f2. Andrea. Loris and kori betrayed her here. Ciere and sam also. Loris: sam betrayed him badly to save me and ciere msnaged to lie his ass iff to get that idol played on sam. I had two ppl risk themselves to keep me. Probs cause theyI look down on my game and think they can beat me.

it is now an hour before we have to vote and i still have no clue who to vote.

but  i think im leaning towards voting ciere at this point?

Sam loses the tiebreaker after a 2-2 vote and is the final member of our jury.

Jesus Day 39. Never thought I'd actually be sitting here.

There's so much buzzing around in my mind. But at this point there isn't any strategic words I can really say, the F3 is officially set, all GAMING per say is over. Now all there is left to do is rock out a fantastic speech for why I should win. (I hope I'm capable of that.)

This game has been such a mental and emotional roller-coaster and I'm just so happy to have been a part of it and to now be experiencing something so new.

Regardless of how this ends, I know that I'm happy with how this turns out, and I definitely learned a lot in this game that I'll carry into future ORGs that I play. I hope I surprised some people, I'm proud of how I played since it carried me here.

Gonna turn in for the night, probably confess for the last time in the morning. <3

Moments before FTC.

I've got my speech ready I think. I'm hopeful anyway. Crazy to think this will be my last confessional of the season.

I wanna thank the hosts for giving me such a great experience, I'm so happy this game happened to me the way that it did. I hope I win but even if I dont I still think I accomplished much, and I'm proud of how I did.

Day 39, this is Kori, signing off.

Last minute confessional because I haven't made one yet: I can't believe I made it to the end & I'm just glad I got to share my game at final tribal council. Do I think I played the best? No. I did what I could with what I was given & I did the mf'ing shiz. I fought for my Survivor life & made fire which I think is a pretty rad way to get here. I took out the wild straight white male who I think played a smashing game. I played how I wanted to & I had so much fun while doing so. Whether I win or lose, I'm proud of what I accomplished here & Elara is definitely not gonna be a game I'll forget. Thank you hosts for a bomb experience & for putting together a well run game~ WOOP WOOP

Well, it's the end now, I'll know soon if I won or if I'm runner up or 3rd.

I had an amazing time, and I'm sure reading back is sure to be interesting.

To anyone who's read my stuff, it may seem a little inconsistent or contradictory at times, it's usually due to a changed mindset or decision I make and forget to confess about, and for that I apologize to the viewers.

This has been an incredible experience I'm not gonna forget, and I'm glad to have gone through it with so many.

I just hope I get a single vote. xD

Kori wins Celestial: Elara in a 4-3-2 vote! Ci’ere came in 2nd and Roxy finished in 3rd.