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hitoshiyoshi · 7 months ago

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how to keep a wife | takami keigo

synopsis ↬ hawks teaches endeavor how to keep a wife

warnings ↬ exh-bitionism (?), the actual exh-bitionism part is a bit short sorry, infedility/cheating, endeavor is a shitty husband, endeavor remarries to the reader after he leaves rei, unprotected s-x, or-l (receiving), mentions of abusive relationships, keigo is the other man, mentions of domestic violence, f-ngering, v-yeurism, endeavor has NOT atoned for his sins, hawks is a little shit, cre-mpie, let me know if i missed anything

pairings ↬ takami keigo x fem!reader

word count ↬ 3.8k

There have been moments over the past year where you wondered whether there was a need to keep trying? Holding dearly onto something that had been sinking for a while. The absence of your friends and family at the wedding should have been the first sign of bad luck. Yet, you blindly kept moving forward. Was there really anything left to lose at this point? Had you grown bored of your normal life that you needed such a drastic change?

All these thoughts flood to your mind as you watch him. It’s beyond the usual time you were meant to rest. Enji came to you last minute and announced that one of his friends would be coming over for dinner. There was no point in arguing. No matter how many times you tried to encourage him to communicate with you, he refused.

Enji’s face contorts in disgust, you could hear the faint sounds of his throat hitching. Rushing to grab a tissue, he spits out the food into it. He looks up at you, eyes burning into your skin with disdain.

“You put too much seasoning, again! Are you trying to raise my blood pressure!?” He whined, slamming the tissue on the dining table as if to threaten you. His anger was something you had grown accustomed to at this point, you’ve seen worse.

“It tastes fine to me,” Enji’s ‘friend’, Keigo, chirps up to your defense. “Relax, Enji.”

Keigo’s words don’t do much, only making Enji grimace and stare off into the void next to him. He never cared about others witnessing his horrible attitude, you sighed. The house was empty tonight: Shoto was busy with his buddies from school, Fuyumi was off traveling, and Natsuo was sleeping over at his girlfriend’s house.

Thankfully, they weren’t here. Fuyumi empathized with you during these times. She mentioned that the fights between you and Enji brought back uncomfortable memories for her and the brothers. Having Shoto defend you during Enji’s spells of anger was humiliating enough. Always stepping in before things escalated terribly; it must’ve been a response to protect you in ways he couldn’t do for his mother.

“Sorry,” You stand and gather Enji’s plates, still full of unfinished food. He wouldn’t touch it anymore. “I was trying to hurry but it was hard with you rushing me.”

Keigo watches over you like a hawk; he was always the worst at hiding his emotions well. You tried to avoid him, but he always found a way. When Enji’s eyes shut tight in annoyance, he becomes bold. Ghosting his fingertips over your legs as you bend over to reach for another plate. You shoot him a glare, nonverbally demanding that he stop. Keigo just laughed off your concerns in a small chuckle under his breath, only you could hear.

Begrudgingly, you trotted off to the kitchen to clean up. Enji looked too enamored with his 'friend' to hound you to cook something else. He usually did that when he wasn’t satisfied with your dishes. You prayed, for this one time, that he would leave you alone. His eyes burn into you again as you leave, you can feel them. Although, you’ve only been married to him for a short time — the feeling is something you are already aware of.

When you finally leave the room, Keigo decides he can safely speak his mind. “Getting mad all the time isn’t good for you, Enji.”

“What the hell would you know?” The last thing Enji wanted to hear was advice from a man who changed girlfriends as often as underwear.

“Not much,” Keigo shrugged, playfully raising his shoulders as if he was taunting the older gentleman. “Be nice. It must be hard to get used to her new life. Step-kids and all.”

"Hmph..."

Enji considers Keigo’s words, but only for a brief moment. The stress of hero work must have been catching up to him. He sincerely doesn't mean to raise his voice at you, it's just that you are the closest victim around. Even if guilt creeped up on him slowly, his pride stopped him from apologizing. Enji planned on buying you those bouquet of tulips you mentioned liking a few months back as an apology — the thought barely lingers in his mind.

Although Keigo would love to catch up with his favorite hero, he had other plans in mind.

"Gotta use the bathroom." Keigo stands from his seat, leaving Enji to wither in his own flames. "Might go check up on her too," He says, too fast and quiet for Enji to process his words before he leaves.

The path to the kitchen is familiar to him; Keigo has been in this house more times than Enji knows. Really, he should be counting his blessings with how lucky he has been. The traditional Japanese-style of the home was an eyesore to him. Keigo has been trying to convince you to spend the night at his, only once, but you couldn't. What sort of excuse could you possibly tell Enji for him to allow that? “It's simpler this way”, you tell him.

As he turns the corner, you're the first thing he sees. How could he ignore you? You hurry around the kitchen, clearing all the contents of this evening's dinner in the garbage. Running scalding hot water over the dirty dishes, you don't notice until a burning sensation touches your skin. Hissing out a swear through your teeth afterwards. Each plate needed to be scrubbed clean — white and shiny without a spec of food — before Enji raised his hand at you again, with those demonic eyes of his.

"He pissed you off a little, huh?" Keigo startles you with his presence at the door. You glance at him, only for a second as you didn't want to lose your focus.

Keigo's leaning against the door frame; his hands are in the depths of his denim pockets. The silver and gold watch you gifted him for his birthday last year sparkles in your eyes. He bought you a matching one shortly after that, but you refused to wear it — it would be too obvious! His tone doesn't sound empathetic. In the brief moment you see him, Keigo gives you his signature cheesy smirk.

"Yeah," You say and return to cleaning. The last thing you needed was to be disturbed — but he was perfect at accomplishing that.

Low vibrations and slow steps soon follow until he's right behind you. Keigo can sense you tensing; something’s not right. Instinctively, his muscular arms snake around your waist as he presses your back into his toned chest. Keigo rests his head into a free space on your shoulder. With every breath, his stubble tickles your skin gently.

“You know he can’t keep a wife happy,” He laughs softly into your ear, obviously poking fun at Enji's failed marriage with Rei.

“It really isn’t funny, Keigo…” Unamused, you catch a cup that slips out of your hands.

“Yeah, yeah… Don’t bark at me,” Keigo eases up off your shoulder, he straightens his back but the tight grip on your waist remains. “Jus’ hate when you’re sad, you know…”

“Don’t worry about me.”

One of his hands pinch your sides, while the other traces shapes into your clothes skin. “Can’t you smile for me, dove?”

“I’m not in the mood."

“Hm…?" He cocked his head to the side. "Fine.”

His hands glide down your arms, stopping at your wet hands. Although his own become wet and covered in suds, he doesn’t mind. Keigo holds up your ring finger, narrowing his eyes as he stares at the silver band. He usually loves shiny jewelry, especially the ones that glisten perfectly under the sun. They always caught his eye first, twinkling in a way that made it hard for him to resist. He always gifted you the finest jewelry that you kept tucked away in a small box, away from Enji.

Keigo hates your wedding ring.

“What- What are you—,” Keigo slips the wet ring off your finger and sets it on the counter.

He never understood why you chose Enji over anyone else. How could Enji be picked over him? Each time he asks, you mutter the same response. “You’re too busy all the time, Keigo. You’re never here when I need you.” It was the truth; he couldn’t deny it, but only make up excuses. Keigo tries to explain that his line of work doesn’t allow for him to have these freedoms, but it’s not enough to persuade you.

Drunk off the feeling of your love, he fills the emptiness in his heart with meaningless flings and relationships that won’t make it past three months. Somehow, Keigo tries to keep them hidden from you. There’s no point in making an announcement to his friends, anyways. Yet, you were aware of them. If you listened closely, you could hear their voices in the background of your calls with him. All of his past lovers gave the same excuse as you did. How funny was it all? They could tell his heart was elsewhere and their body was unable to fix that void.

“I know you hate doing it with your ring on…” Keigo's free hand slips under your skirt, trailing his fingertips on the skin of your inner thighs.

He plays with the waistband of your panties, just enough to not agitate you. Keigo waits for you to stop him, each time. For you to be reminded of your sacred union, but it never happens. You haven’t felt the sense to stop in quite some time. By now your movements are instinctive, your legs spread to allow him more space to continue as he pleases. Running his middle finger along your clothed heat, he leaves soft kisses along the nape of your neck.

"There's not enough time," Whispering this to him in a hushed tone, your pleas are ignored.

"You hate thinking of him, right?" With no time to react, his fingers dive past the silk fabric.

"Kei..." Your head tilts back next to his own, until your cheeks are touching each other.

Whimpering his name gave him enough motivation to act. All those years spent with the Commission didn't go to waste; with the memory skills he's been taught, he knows each of your favorite spots.

Keigo's middle finger find the hood of your clit, rubbing in circular motions as you unwind to his touch. His movements are aided by the slick dripping from your cunt and coating his fingers. By now, you've forgotten about the running tap water — grasping onto his brawny arms to urge him deeper. Keigo sinks his teeth into the nape of your neck, trying to muffle his moans. He doesn't want to worry about Enji finding out.

It's the first time he's made a move with Enji in the house. What better time than now? The pads of his finger push deeper into your bud, quickening his movements as his heart races. "You should get back to him now, baby bird..."

"Mmm~, not yet..." You can only pray that he can't hear your voices from. You can feel him smirk into your skin, giving a rest from marking you. Keigo had no other choice but to oblige. What kind of partner would he be to neglect you? No better than Enji.

Keigo's fingers dip lower, teasing you with the way he runs along your heat. You felt him pressing you further against the counter, trying to free himself from his skinny jeans. He always preferred to begin slow, not wanting to rush the quality time you two spent together — even if it was short. Focusing all your effort on staying quiet, you gasp as you feel him burying inside slowly and with ease. His thumb never leaves from your clit, keeping the same rhythm as before.

Reaching his free hand up to your shirt, he raises it by the hem and tugs it upwards enough for your bra to show. Keigo claws at the fabric, it doesn't take much effort to completely reveal your breasts to the cool air. The lace material peels off your skin easily; he doesn't enjoy the speed of things, for once in his life, but he gives in... for you. As his hand caresses your tits, his thumb dances over your hardened bud.

Keigo can feel it; as soon as another one of his thick fingers enters your walls, he can feel you quivering under him. Fluttering around his fingers with every pass he makes over your weakest spot. "s-shit, yeah, keigo... keep going...!" you cry in response to his words. Hips rocking into his hand, matching the rhythm of the deep yet slow thrusts of his fingers. By now, your essence has sullied your perfectly clean underwear and leaked onto every inch of his fingers.

Just as you feel yourself unwinding at his movements, he pulls away. Unwrapping his arms away from you and carefully slipping out of your sodden cunt.

"God," You scowl at him, embarrassingly loud. Keigo tries to make up for it with a quick peck on the cheek. You hated when he pulled little tricks like that.

"He should be here to see," Keigo helps you slip out of your lace panties. He takes the risk and stuffs them deep inside his pockets, hopefully you won't ask about them later. "Maybe he'll learn how to make you cum." Grasping tightly on your hips, he forces you around.

Keigo leans forward and takes his place back on your neck. Sucking and nibbling at your skin until purple bruises arise once again. You run your fingers through his honey blonde locks, urging him. His kisses continue to the valley of your breasts. Each of his hands grasp onto your mounds of flesh. Keigo suckles on your peaks, tongue dragging light flicks along your sensitive skin.

He continues his kisses, trailing them downward from your breasts to your bellybutton. Finally, Keigo kneels beneath you. Spreading your legs like butter with his hands, he says, “You jus' can't wait for me, huh?"

Keigo ghosts his fingers over your inner thighs. He bites his lips and gulps shallowly at the sight, cunt glistening under him. His amber orbs dilate as he takes in the sight, so shiny and perfect just for him. A nice long lick up your slick is enough to continue your trance. Keigo is too eager; he laps up all of your spilling nectar until it fully completely coats his tongue and dribbles along his pink tongue.

As he peers up, you can’t help but notice how beautiful he looks underneath you. Strands of his honey blonde hair fall perfectly on his sweaty forehead. Keigo fits on you like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece. Circling and flicking his tongue around your clit, your hands claw through his hair and force him deeper. Never minding his stubble rubbing against your sensitive skin.

Bucking your hips into him once again, Keigo loves the way you surrender completely to his touch. “ah~ fuck- fuck… i can’t… please, faster!” He’s happy to follow your commands. The rapid beating of your heart and quickening breath gives him enough of a signal, again. Through your quivering thighs and slurred speech, you manage to speak, “kei! i’m go- gonna cum…!”

This time, your hands hold his head in place — you won’t let him toy with you again, now. Spewing swears through gritted teeth, you tense up over him feeling the wave of ecstasy consume your body. Keigo stares up at you briefly, your expression is enough for him to threaten to spill in his boxers. Your head is thrown back with one very loud moan escaping your lips. He eagerly laps up everything as if it’s his last supper, refusing to stop until on his saliva remains on your skin.

Panting, he brings himself up to his feet. Keigo hisses softly feeling you palm him under his jeans. He pushes your hand away, with a newfound sense of vigor, he can’t wait. The jingling of his belt resounded in the room as he unbuckled his jeans. You could feel him rutting against you while his fingers were still deep inside you. Bulge protruding through his skinny jeans, begging to be released.

He frees his cock from its hold, just before you notice a damp spot of his precum. Always neat and well-kept for you, he’s groomed himself well just for tonight. Blood rushes to his rosy tip, the veins pulsate with every second that passes.

Stroking his cock for a few seconds, you help guide him to your core. Just like his fingers, he nestles inside you with ease. You wrap so tight around him, nearly swallowing him whole. So perfect, he can’t help but say, “always squeezin’ around me just right, dove…”

You wrap your arms around his neck, mesmerized by his blushing and sweaty face. A bead of sweat trickles down from his forehead to his collarbone as you shift some hair from his face.

Keigo gently rolls his hips, massaging your velvety walls with his shaft; so tender and affectionate, you easily got addicted to the feeling. He releases soft gasps with each movement of his hips, not wanting to break eye contact with you. He wanted to watch everything, every facial expression and cry that left your mouth.

“Waited so long for this,” Keigo presses his forehead against yours. “Hate havin’ to watch you two together…”

Softly planting a kiss on his cherry red lips, you reciprocate his feelings, “God, I missed you.” Nipping at his bottom lip before kissing him deeper, “it’s been too long.”

One of your legs wraps around his waist and lower back, pulling him deeper with his sudden sporadic thrusts. Keigo tries to keep his feelings together. That was a necessity in forbidden relationships like this. Yet, he doesn’t know how long he can do it. Smile in Enji’s face like a dear friend only to betray him when he was alone with you. It was a sickening feeling; he couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.

What should he do? Keigo’s too deep into everything now. The possibility of rejecting his feelings is something he couldn’t do. Especially now, as he hears your chants of his name spew from your lips once you two break away from your kiss. The glimmer of your wedding ring catches his eye when you cling to him. His hips slapped against your skin with sounds of sex echoing through the room. Oh, how badly did he want to be Enji.

The anger nearly consumes him, just for a second. He couldn’t accept the announcement of your marriage to him that day… How could you? How could you pick Enji!?

Keigo desperately wants to find his release, spill his scalding cum deep inside your cavern and smirk to himself as you limp back to your husband. But he couldn’t be satisfied only with that… Instead, he slows, just enough to keep him chasing his high.

He leans down to your ear, and whispers, “I’ve always wanted you… haven’t you realized?”

"F-Fuck, Kei... I know," You run your fingers through his messy hair, coaxing him even closer to your body. "I'm sorry..."

"Ho-How do you th-think I sleep at nights knowing you give yourself to h-him..?" Keigo tries to keep himself together, once again. It took everything in his spirit to not spill his potent seed. Not now, not yet.

"Mmmh~... 'm sorry, Kei...

With those feathers of his, Keigo could sense the trembling ground with his heavy footsteps only a few feet away from the door. It was all sort of funny to him, it must’ve been a joke. “I better start calling this pussy mine from now on. Shouldn’t I, Enji?”

“Nnggh… Wha- What…?” Of course, you decide to groan a bit too loud just as he was at the door. “Enji…!”

Poor Enji. He thought you had hurt yourself when he heard your noises only a few minutes before. He really didn’t mean to raise his voice at you. Lately, Enji has been trying to be a better person. You know, work through his anger issues for the betterment of his growing family. He slipped up tonight, yes, but he was trying. Keigo wants to feel bad, but he couldn’t spare any sympathy for a serial abuser.

Enji is frozen just outside the door. Blue eyes pierce at your bodies intertwined together. The messy clothing still that you still have on, his markings all over your neck, and of course, the expressions of pure ecstasy written over Keigo’s face.

As if the image wasn’t enough for the older man, Keigo reaches for your neck and forces you to stare at Enji. The only thing in common between the two of you is the horrified expression you make at each other as your eyes meet.

His pace of his movements began to pick up, becoming frenzied now that his favorite hero is here to watch. All the older man could do was gawk. You wanted to keep your composure, maybe even push Keigo off your body and run to Enji. It was just a little mistake! A mistake that has lasted since the day you two were married.

"Took you long enough..." Keigo knew Enji was getting on with age, surely his hearing wasn't affected as well. "Pu- Put on a show for him, pretty bird... Let him hear..."

"Oh~... God, I- I..." You somehow manage to croak out as Keigo moves his hand from you neck to your jaw, parting your lips.

"There we go. That's it, babygirl..." His hips drill into your core with an unwavering speed, plates scattered around the counter swayed with each thrust; finally, chasing his high. "Louder..."

Like an obedient dove, you obeyed. The harmony of your moans combined with his own bounced off each wall and into Enji's ears. Keigo's eyes refuse to leave yours. Instead, he positions your head until he was the only being in your view. Keigo's hips faltered with every one of his grunts, seizing up along with the rest of his body. He dipped his head down lower; his hot breath tickles the hairs on your neck. You knew what would happen next.

With a loud hiss, Keigo's eyes shut tight as he sinks his teeth into your skin. You could feel his body tense on top of you, feverishly grasping onto your flesh to draw you closer. A warm sensation pools through your cavern, you moan along with him as if Enji's presence is nonexistent. Speaking of the devil, he remained frozen throughout the entire ordeal. He blinks at the sight a few times, trying to process if he was dreaming.

But, of course, it was all reality. Enji finally accepts it, trailing his eyes to the floor beneath him.

“Come on, don’t look away now, Enji…” His seed drips down your inner thigh, joining your juices that have trickled onto the kitchen floor. “Pay attention, you might learn a thing or two about how to keep a wife…"

『 a very VERY late submission to kinktober from a while back… check it out if your bored ! 』 — kai

STUDENTS & HEROES MASTERLIST

#tw: infidelity #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #takami keigo smut #hawks x reader #hawks smut #mha smut #mha headcanons #bnha smut #mha x reader #bnha x reader #hawks imagine #takami keigo x you #takami keigo headcanons #takami keigo x y/n #keigo x y/n #hawks x female reader #hawks x you #hawks x y/n

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de4dlyniightshade · 1 year ago

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Dunno if u have seen it but I’d really love ur version of the NSFW alphabet for Spencer Reid

(Not sure if that really counts as a Drabble or a super long headcanon. I tried to go thru ur blog and I didn’t see where u had done 1 before!!)

ON IT!!!

doing it with sub!spencer ofc<3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): super sleepy and cuddly, just wants you to hold him and kiss him and play with his hair. also goes borderline nonverbal, just wants to be in your company.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): his favourite body part on himself is honestly probably his brain ngl BUT otherwise i'd say his hair, he takes good care of his hair and takes the time to make sure it looks nice so i'd say his hair. as for on you probably your hips or eyes, your eyes is the answer he tells people but actually he just loves gripping your hips and pinching the fatty skin there and placing kisses on your hipbones.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): loves cumming in you. so much. but also loves cumming on you, more specifically cumming on your pussy after fucking you, the way it looks running over you just making his head spin.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): pervert. not a creepy pervert but still a pervert. will stick around if he walks in on you changing, stare at your boobs and ass when he thinks you don't see him, shamefully touches your underwear for longer than he should when he's doing laundry, will spend a good while scanning your body while you sleep, especially if you're wearing shorts or a tank top.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): not experienced. has no idea what he's doing. he tries his best and learns fast but he needs a lot of guidance and care but he prefers you taking control anyway.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): cowgirl. nothing beats getting ridden in his mind, the sight of you on top of him, your boobs bouncing with each thrust and the way you gripped his waist.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): i wouldn't say he's serious but he's not humorous either, whenever your touching him he just becomes a moaning mess and can hardly think for himself, just completely lost in the pleasure.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): not shaved bald but definitely trimmed, if not for your benefit then definitely for his own.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): soooo lovey, just holding you and kissing you and snuggling into you and telling you that he loves you and thanking you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): definitely jerks off a lot when you're apart because he just gets really sexually frustrated without you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): mommy kink!!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): bed first, always, it's just more private and intimate but he also likes it on the couch but that's more of a spur of the moment thing.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): anything and everything. you smiled at him? horny. kissed him? extra horny. hugged him? horny. literally anything you do can get him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): blindfolds on him for obvious reasons, also domming, he just can't do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): giving all the way!!! even if he's not that good at it he puts his heart and soul into it. more often than not he gets carried away and forgets he's trying to get you to cum bcs he just loves to taste you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): loves it fast but not too rough if that makes sense? like he doesn't wanna hurt afterwards and whenever he's on top he just gets so caught up that he can't help but fuck you desperately.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): likes them a lot and however often you're up for it, especially before work. definitely walks into that building with a real pep in his step after a quickie in the morning.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): definitely game to experiment with a lot of things you wanna try, but nothing too crazy like he wouldn't be into slapping or extreme bondage, but a little tying up he's game for.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): not many. he gets easily overwhelmed and overstimulated bcs he's just so sensitive. can go three rounds at very best.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): doesn't own toys himself but if you do he uses them on you, more specifically if you had a vibrator he'd use it on you when you're tired. also let's you use a vibrator on him, the feeling of it pressed to his tip making him cum embarrassingly fast. not to forget pegging, would let you peg him or use a dildo on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): not at all, you're more the one to tease him but he doesn't have enough patience or self control to tease you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): very loud and doesn't even realise it, he just gets so lost in his own mind that he can't even hear himself.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): loves being bitten by you, not aggressively enough that it hurts too bad but if he was on top and you bit into his shoulder when you came he'd definitely follow quick after.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): around 7 inches, not too thick but not too thin either, curved upwards slightly, the prettiest pink tip and not overly veiny but definitely a few. also i feel like he has pretty nipples idc.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very high, needy alllllll the time like could go at it at the drop of a hat it doesn't matter what time of day he could be rock hard in seconds for you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): pretty quickly depending on the time, if it was one of those morning quickies ofc he can't but otherwise he tries to stay awake but never manages to actually stay awake that often.

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lukolabrainrot · 6 months ago

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Toronto and Ireland (Part 2)- Ireland Stops

The Ireland stops were absolutely magic and my favorite of the tour! They were the stops that confirmed to me that this relationship between L/N wasn't just work besties who had a lot of sexual chemistry. This was a relationship with a lot of depth and intimacy, and would (probably) be very serious. I am going to talk about the specific parts during Ireland that led me to this conclusion, because there were just too many things that happened in Dublin/Galway to go over everything (but feel free to send me an Ask if you want me to talk about something in particular during Ireland that I don't cover here). I'm going to say a few of my general thoughts/comments about the Ireland stops first:

I believe that L/N went directly to Ireland from Toronto (please correct me if I am wrong?), and that energy from Toronto spilled over and peaked in Ireland, which resulted in heightened emotions in Ireland. I think their emotions were also heightened because the tour was coming to an end, and it was like a homecoming for N.

I think PART of the reason we saw the type of behavior and body language from L in Ireland is because L knew how meaningful these particular stops were for N, and he was just kind of in awe/inspired/mesmerized by how people were responding to them (but particularly to her).

L/N basically interacted the whole time like they were a FREAKING COUPLE 😅 Like it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS from their nonverbal cues and how they were talking (imo). I don't think they ACTUALLY were , but it was just VERY interesting considering the energy from Toronto (if that makes sense)🤔

Alright, I am now going to analyze particular parts from the Ireland stops (going to go chronologically):

The Freaking Head Rub (Dublin):

Posting 2 TTs because this was by far the most WTF moment for me on the tour (I have like 6 edits of this clip saved on TT 😂) So let's dive into this gem:

I'm going to start by saying this. THIS 👏 WAS 👏 THE 👏 MOST 👏 OBVIOUS 👏 SLIPUP 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 TOUR 👏 They got caught. Period. It was obvious this type of intimate behavior is normal for them.

Now the act itself could be written off as just a kind gesture. But below is why it blew up:

1) It was CRAZY intimate. L leaned in (like she does this all the time), he closed his eyes, she gingerly rubbed his forehead (I still don't exactly know what she was getting out of his face--hair, lent, she just wanted to touch her man him, idk? 🙃), the man made a little MOANNN/PURRRR in the middle of the head rub, and then N gently carressed his cheek to signal that he looked good now (again, like she DOES THIS ALL THE TIME). 2) Then the interviewer made an impromptu "Oh" right after he made the soft moan because she was taken aback and was like WTF IS HAPPENING. She tried to correct and make a little joke about the carriage scene (which coincidentally is what they were talking about in that moment) to try and ease the awkwardness of the situation, but the interviewer was totally unprepared for that little moment. 3) L made a little side-eye look at the interviewer after she went "Oh" because he realized he got lost in the moment and how intimate it was, and was like OH S**T. 4) N BLUSHES and shyly laughs (our PR queen who is VERY aware that the public analyzes everything she does) 5) L/N try to laugh it off and say that N does things like THIS to people all the time (but you could tell they were both embarrassed/flustered, especially L, BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT/SLIPPED UP) 6) And they did all of that RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of one of the interview questions 🙄

L/N tried to come up with a lame-o excuse when they were asked about it during the London premiere, but you could tell that they really had no good explanation, because it just kind of happened and they got caught on camera. The intimacy of this moment goes wayyy beyond work besties, and I think they knew that, and there was obviously no way they were going to go there with that interviewer on the London red carpet (but they also couldn't deny it happened because it's on camera, so L got a little defensive and N came up with that silly response about getting lent off people, which wasn't even what was happening in that moment 🙄🙄).

I have NEVER seen anything quite like this before in the middle of a daytime interview of this nature, and the moment still makes me go WHATTTT JUST HAPPENED. It is THE moment that I decided 100% that L/N's relationship wasn't just friendship. That moment served as a very tiny, candid glimpse of how they are in private, and that's how I knew. Simple as that. "Work besties"... sure Jan 😂

Why they let that level of intimacy slip on camera, we will never know. I feel strongly that it probably had a lot to do with N's guard being wayyy down due to the heightened feelings I previously mentioned, and just that they were HAPPY. I definitely don't think they wanted that on camera though, but I think it speaks VOLUMES N did this publicly. N does have a tendency to be very touchy with people, and she had picked/wiped things off of L before on the tour. But NOTHING like this though. N was sending a message (just my opinion though).

Dublin Red Carpet Event/Screening

Side note before I get to my thoughts. This was my FAVORITE outfit of theirs on the tour🔥❤️ They reminded me of a couple in a Tim Burton movie (ex: Johnny Depp and Winona Rider in Edward Scissorhands). It was just sublime *chef's kiss*

I just loved this red carpet event!! EVERYTHING about it:

The way all the fans were looking so lovingly at how LUKE and NICOLA were interacting with each other

The way L was constantly looking for N when they weren't together (and every time he looked at her (particularly when she wasn't aware) he was just GLOWING AT HER 😍)

The way they checked each other out when they finally came together 🔥

How L kept checking in with N and was so in tune with her because he knew how emotionally overwhelming and meaningful this was for her

How he decided to wear only Irish designers for the Irish stops to honor her (that might not have actually been his choice, but it was really sweet he mentioned it regardless)

How happy he was that this outfit was N's favorite of his on the tour. L cares sooo much about what she thinks about him, no one can tell me otherwise 😍😭

The way you could tell L got upset when that interviewer during the Dublin screening said that comment about N being so "brave" (in relation to her body), and how in awe he was with N's effing amazing response

This red carpet event/screening reaffirmed to me just how much L admires/loves/adores/respects N. Like there is real emotional depth behind his eyes when he looks at her, like she is the moon, the sun, and the stars. Like he just looks and interacts with her like she's his person, his 🦞️ (for the Friends' fans in the group lol). Obviously, some of what we saw during this red carpet event was probably due to the heightened emotions of everything that I mentioned at the beginning of this post. However, L/N were so in tune with each other and just glowing during this event (it was palpable), and it made my heart so happy 😍

Galway/L Meeting N's Family

Galway was just something else. Let's talk first a little bit about some things leading up to Galway:

N and L brought up multiple times in Dublin about how excited they were for L to meet her family (particularly her mom who N is really close to). And this excitement seemed VERY genuine based on their body language and how they were talking about it.

N brought up a few times about how excited her mom was to meet L (I talk a little about that/her mom's thoughts on L in my post here).

I think it was just very telling by how they were talking about this introduction that it was a BIG deal for both of them (and everyone involved). Whyyyy... well because (I believe) they are going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke Newton in the future 😉

So this is how I came to this conclusion. First, these are the main things that really stood out to me from the introduction that signaled to me this was not just someone introducing her work bestie to her family:

Their nonverbal cues on the screening stage signaled to me that there were BIG feelings between L/N about her family being there (I couldn't tell you what feelings exactly, but I would guess it was a mixture of nervousness, excitement, happiness, etc.)

The WAY L was sooooo in tune with her during this screening presentation because he knew how overwhelming this all was for her. And he appeared hyper-aware that her family was there, and it appeared to me from his body language and behavior that he was very self-conscious and trying to make the BEST first impression on her family

The WAY N asked L to come meet her mom. I have like a lot to say about this little moment because I think it speaks VOLUMES. 1) L is kind of distracted talking to some fans, but N is laser focused on her family and not really paying any attention to the fans (I'm sure she was very eager to go greet her mom, but she stayed glued to him (it read as VERY connected body language wise) and she was obviously not going to go until he went with her) 2) She then gently puts her hand on his arm and asked him to come meet her mom 3) He redirected his attention to her and happily said yes 4) He turned back to the fans to say goodbye, and N was already very gently guiding him away towards her mom 5) He and her were a unit in this moment, this introduction was going to happen as a unit 6) This whole interaction just SCREAMED of two people who have an intimate relationship and are very comfortable with each other (again, the nonverbal cues 👀)

She gives her mom a very heartfelt and teary hello, and then her mom holds her arms out like "Luke come here." and N is like oh yeah "Big moment big moment" and L (who has repeatedly said he's not a big fan of hugs) comes over and gives her mom a BIG hug and is just BEAMING. And the whole crowd goes wild lol -> He also tells her mom "Thank you for being so kind (OR making her (N) so kind 😭). I'll see you after. We'll spend some time"'

There is too much to list in regards to the body language of everyone involved in this moment, but it speaks VOLUMES that this was a highly anticipated introduction and a major moment for everyone. I would recommend, if you haven't, going back and looking over how N's brother and SIL react to this introduction, it is PARTICULARLY telling.

And the cherry on top is that when her mom turns away to go back to her seat after the hug, she does this little approving nod to whoever she was sitting by like "Yup, he's a good one. I like him for her." 😭😭

Final thoughts on this introduction/Ireland in general/miscellaneous:

That family introduction was absolutely WILD...Now even if her family had decided not to go to the Galway screening, I am almost certain L would have stayed around that weekend and hung out with her family regardless. Why... Because (like I have mentioned a few times on this blog) I think they know what they have, and I think they legit see a future with each other if they can figure things out. And I think they discussed a lot of this during the tour, which is why we saw what we saw with the introduction. I am almost certain they would not have had the emotions they did to this family introduction if they weren’t serious about being in each other’s lives for the foreseeable future.

Also, this family introduction was personal (for them, not for us–AKA not PR). I think we just got lucky that we got to be a small part of this wholesome/genuine moment because N’s family made the decision to go to the public Galway screening where a bunch of fans would be able to record them. That 100% wasn’t coordinated or calculated by N or the press people.

Now she might have been lying, but I personally believe N when she said in one of those London radio interviews about L/N staying in Galway during the weekend with her family to “recuperate” before the premiere. They both talked in London about how they spent time with her family after the screening, N's BIL tried to get L drunk, N (not so subtly) implying how her mom had VERY positive thoughts on L after meeting him, etc. Again, I think this speaks VOLUMES on where L/N were at emotionally at this point.

If we go on the understanding that N is jaded about romantic relationships and really private about this part of her life, having to navigate all these big new feelings for someone on a public stage was probably INCREDIBLY challenging (for both of them tbh). It was probably made even more complicated by the fact that they HAD to play up the romantic vibes to promote the show, which made people ship them like crazy (which was super easy to do because there are real feelings between them). And I think they didn't quite realize HOW obvious they had been about their feelings, but are in NO way going to go public with these feelings right now (if they are indeed working on their relationship). Why? Because it would destroy their relationship at this point in time. However, I think they gave us SOO many crumbs (Ireland being the most obvious imo) that there is real deep love and attraction for each other. For me, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck 😉

Here are my final thoughts to tie up my timeline theories on the PR tour. I personally believe the PR tour forced them to address big feelings for each other that they had been avoiding for a while. Their feelings were reciprocated. They physically acted on their feelings at various points of the tour. They had a lot of conversations in private and determined their strong feelings and attraction went past the show and their characters, and determined they wanted to move forward and figure out what their romantic feelings for each other meant. They emotionally became a lot more connected BTS, and I think they were starting to have more conversations about a POTENTIAL serious future with each other. This led to more obvious nonverbal cues that signaled there was more confidence, intimacy, and security between them, and then it culminated in the absolute goldmine that was Ireland. However, the whole situation is quite complicated because of the whole A of it all. I completely acknowledge that she is still in his life, and they are still involved in some sort of capacity. I talked about my thoughts on that though here. Therefore, I feel like they just need time in private to cook and figure everything out away from the spotlight. L/N gave us soooo many clues though on how they were feeling about each other BTS while they were on the PR tour, and if you put them all together, it tells quite the story imo 😉

#lukola #ireland #galway girl #best Hometowns' date I've ever seen #I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT HEAD RUB 😂#timelines #lukola theories

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pedrospatch · 2 years ago

Text

to hell and back l masterlist

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

my wings are frayed

and what’s left of my halo is black

lucky for me, your kind of heaven’s been to hell and back

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.

summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (each individual chapter will come with its own warnings this is just a general idea) canon violence, canon language, AGE GAP (reader is 30 and Joel is 56) mentions of slavers, captivity, assault, torture and brutality, mentions of physical scars, trauma, mentions of anxiety, reader is nonverbal around others, reader is nonverbal around Joel and Ellie for the first couple of chapters. angst, fluff, comfort, eventual smut. please see individual chapters for tags and warnings.

a/n: trauma, SA, PTSD, and anxiety are all sensitive and challenging subjects to write about and i hope that i can execute the idea for this series in a respectful, educated manner. PLEASE HEED ALL CHAPTER WARNINGS.

one

two

three

four

*more chapters will be added

extras

Song Inspo: To Hell & Back - Maren Morris

Lonely Too Long - drabble

#joel miller series #joel miller story #joel miller x female reader #to hell and back #thab #Spotify #fic: to hell and back

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horror-sapphic · 6 months ago

Text

NSFW ALPHABET | WANDA MAXIMOFF

a/n: Sorry for any errors, I barley checked over this.

Cw: NSFW themes (18+)

A — ( aftercare ) - Wanda LOVES to lay on your chest/ having you lay on hers, depending on how rough it got between you two, the night will end with a simmer in the tub before bed.

B — ( body part ) - On you, Wanda loves your hands, constantly craving to be held and touched by them. She daydreams about them wrapped around her, your pretty painted fingers spreading her folds open to get more access to her eager clit.

C — ( cum ) - When she takes control, she loves to make sure you're overstimulated until your swollen pussy is so sensitive you can't even close your legs. Then she leaves you in bed, squirming in your own cum.

D — ( dirty secret ) - When she's out doing chores/at work, she looks around for all the places she can bend you over to fuck you in public.

E — ( experience ) - You both have equal experience, but she's definitely a bit more "skilled".

F — (favorite position ) - She loves watching you bounce and ride her cock, looking down to where it connects inside of you just to watch it slide easily in and out of your soaked pussy and using her thumb to rub over your raised clit peaking out. She loves grabbing your hips to help you keep your rhythm. While taking turns sucking on both of your tits.

G — ( goofy ) - She can be pretty unserious during sex, the only time she's not is when she's in domme mode.

H — ( hair ) - She loves to pull on yours when you eat her out, or when she’s in full Domme mode she loves to pull on it as a way to keep you put.

I — ( intimacy ) - She loves morning sex when it’s just the two of you hazily getting each other off with a gentle touches , soft slow breaths against one another.

J — ( jack off ) - When you're away she'll definitely tune into the homemade tapes you both decided to make a while back, furiously rubbing against her aching clit to the sight of you cumming against her in the videos.

K — ( kink ) - Calling her mommy when she fucks you dumb turns her on more than she'd like to admit, having you whimper out that name while on the brink of cumming on her command just makes her want to ruin you.

L — ( location ) - Everywhere in the house you can think of, Wanda has yet to take you out and have people pass by while she plows into your leaking cunt.

M — ( motivation ) - Sitting back and watching you do things around the house can get her started.

N — ( no's ) - The thought of sharing you with anyone is a hard no for her, you're hers and hers only.

O — ( oral sex ) - Her favorite way to wake you up in the mornings, and to put you to sleep. Her mouth is always fixed on the clit of your pussy, flicking and sucking about.

P — ( pace ) - Oh fuck. When Wanda wants to, she can drag fucking you out for hourrrs. She loves to edge you, watching you on all fours with your cunt literally dripping onto the sheets while you desperately rock back and forth trying to get her to slip back into you.

Q — ( quickie ) - Just like she can go as long as she wants to, she can go pretty fast too. Just pummeling into your pussy fucking it raw to get you off fast, and hard enough to the point where you end up going nonverbal for a little.

R — ( risk ) - Has yet to be risky but wants to, be later in the relationship.

S — ( stamina ) - Going all through the night won't faze her, it's you who has to take a break from her.

T — ( toys ) - Using toys is a common thing in the bedroom for you guys, all sorts of strapons/dildos, plugs, vibrators. You too are constantly using them on each other or on yourselves.

U — ( unfair ) - She loves to tease, she will leave you dripping, waiting for her to come back and make you cum after doing various house tasks.

V — ( volume ) - You always end up louder than you want to, but there have been times when Wanda lets you top and she's the one squirming and whining to come. She can get pretty loud.

W — ( wildcard ) - There is never a dull moment in your sex life with her, she's always making you reach new heights, whether that's making you squirt for the first time, having you take anal for the first time, having you be the one to give her strap (which was your first time), or cumming over and over again until you felt like you melted into your bed.

X — ( x-ray ) —

Y — ( yearning ) - She always wants you to be near her, whenever you're not, she'll look through her photos of you. Until the two of you are reunited.

Z — ( Zzz ) - She enjoys watching your chest rise and fall after a long session, this eases her to sleep but you'd be the one to fall asleep first.

#wanda maximoff smut #lesbian wanda #wandavision #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #lesbian fic #lesbian smut #horror sapphic fics #wanda maximoff headcanons #mommy wanda #smut alphabet #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff fanfiction

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citruswriter · 7 months ago

Note

ok ok hear me out.. rottmnt boys x an autistic reader who is sensitive to / scared of loud sounds so when the 4th of July comes around the reader pretty much just starts tripping balls and on the verge of a meltdown? This happens to me often so it would mean a lot to me

ROTTMNT Boys x ND Reader during 4th of July

Listen with me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

Warnings: Meltdown, lots of crying, nonverbalness with Raph and Donnie, fluff and comfort, neurodivergent/autistic Reader, Reader wears a bra in Donnie's section (ur wearing the fckn bra Joey).

A/N: Ok no bc last year the fireworks scared me so badly and I cried and I didn't know why bc fireworks never scared me before but I had a total meltdown and had to hide in the car while my husband gave me his noise cancelling headphones. 😭😭😭 W Husband.

It had been a long day for you. It was the 4th of July and you and your family had decided to have a potluck party. Of course you went, bringing food of your own and eating as you conversed with aunts, uncles, cousins, and the likes. After awhile the sun began to set and you decided it was time to get home before it got completely dark. Saying your goodbyes, you decided to call your favorite turtle.

"Yeah the potluck was good. The family really wants to meet you, you know?. I can only keep my boyfriend elusive for so long". You teased with a giggle. "Oh come on. You know it's not as simple as that. I'd love to meet your parents though". His voice came back. You went to reply, but a loud crack was heard in the sky, causing you to shriek. "Baby? Baby you ok?" His voice came, but it sounded far off. Your head began to spin and your chest felt tight, tears welling up in your eyes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I forgot about the fucking fireworks was all you thought as you stumbled back, stumbling into a nearby wall, hand clutching your phone into a death grip. "Stay right there! I'm coming to get you!"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Raphael x Reader 🧡

It wasn't long before you felt fingers wrap around your upper arms. You jerked away, sobbing and whipping your head around. "Shhhhh. It's just me, strawberry". A soothing voice came. "I'm going to pick you up ok?" All you could do was nod as Raph picked you up, pressing one ear to his chest as he covered the other with his hand. He sprang from rooftop to rooftop before finding his way to the lair.

Everything was so loud but as the two of you shimmied into the sewers, everything became muffled. "Do you wanna walk on your own?" He asked gently and you shook your head, clutching onto him for dear life. Raph nodded, carrying you down the sewer lines before reaching the lair. "I'm gonna take you to the room, ok?" He said gently, taking you to his bedroom and laying you down on his bed. "Do you need anything?" He asked and you chewed your lip in thought. He seemed to pick up on the fact that you were nonverbal.

"Do you want something to eat?" You shook your head no. "What about something to drink?" You thought before nodding. "Water?" No. "Juice?" Yes. He nodded and held out his hands. "Tap my left hand for apple juice, right hand for orange juice". He said and you thought for a moment before tapping one of his hands. He nodded and left for a moment. You pulled yourself up in a half sat up position, taking a few deep breaths to clear your still ringing head.

Your head jerked towards the door as Raph stepped back in, a glass full of juice. He smiled softly, sitting on the bed next to you and handing the glass to you. Shaky hands reached out to glass, grasping it firmly before bringing it up to your mouth to chug as much as you needed. A smack of your lips and a sigh left you before you handed the glass to him. "Thanks, Raphie." You croaked out with a soft smile.

"Anything for you." He said softly, crawling into bed with you to hold you close. "Wanna spend the night here? Pretty sure you have a few sets of jammies over here." He asked gently and you smiled up at him, hand reaching to gently cradle his jaw. "I'd love that. Thank you." You muttered before giving him a kiss.

"Anything for you, my love".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Leonardo x Reader 🧡

It seemed like only moments before a hand grabbed yours. You whipped around to see your boyfriend, tears spilling over your cheeks as he grabbed his sword to portal. He pulled you through and suddenly... everything was quiet. You gasped a breath before sobbing. "It's ok. It's ok. I've got you." Leo's soft voice came as he wrapped his arms around you. You broke down sobbing, your ears still ringing from the fireworks.

Hands gently tugged you to the bed. "Wait here." He said before springing out. You whined as he left, clutching your head, but he returned only moments later. He handed a glass of water to you and you sucked it down within seconds. "Here." His gentle voice came as he crouched down, hands reaching to slowly take off your shoes. "Movie night sound good?" He asked, looking up to you with a soft smile and you nodded.

Leo turned on his TV, letting you pick the movie before taking the blanket he had snagged and spreading it over the bed. You seemed to visibly relax as you felt the pressure of the weighted blanket press into you. "Sometimes Donnie gets overstimulated and uses a weighted blanket to calm down, so I asked him if I could borrow it for you". He said with a proud grin and you smiled up at him, hands reaching for him to drag him into bed with you.

"My hero." You said softly, voice barely above a whisper. Leo's eyes seemed to light up. Maybe he wasn't the most experienced with relationships, but he always enjoyed making you happy and meeting your needs. "I love you, mi amor". He muttered, lips pressing a kiss to your temple. You hummed back and reached your hands up to cup his cheeks, angling him so you could give him a sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Leonardo".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Donatello x Reader 🧡

Donnie found you within seconds. His heart almost broke as he saw you shaking and sobbing. Hands slipped a device over your ears and you looked up as the world became muffled. Noise cancelling headphones. "I've got you". He signed. It took you a moment to decipher it, you weren't as good at sign as he was. But eventually you nodded and he approached you, hands hovering over your body, silently asking if it was ok to touch you. You nodded and leaned forward towards him, legs shaky. Donnie scooped you up, holding you close as he used his tech to quickly bring the both of you to the lair.

Once you made it inside, he made it clear to his brothers that he would be unavailable for the night. One glance at your trembling body and tear stained face and they immediately understood. He brought you inside the lab, laying you on his bed before taking the headphones off. "You better now?" He asked softly, hand reaching up to caress your face. You took a deep breath and nodded. "Can you talk?" He asked and you shook your head, tapping your throat. Donnie just nodded in understanding. "Can I get you anything?"

You tilted your head to the side, trying to remember the signs he had taught you. "Tea. Heavy blanket." Was all you signed before your boyfriend kissed your forehead and got to work. You leaned up against the wall, breathing deeply as you tried to calm your nerves. "Aaaaaand here you go." He said with a soft smile, handing you a cup of tea before spreading the weighted blanket over you. "If you need me, I'll be at my desk working, ok?" He said and you nodded, lifting your head for a kiss. Donnie just chuckled, bending down kiss your lips before leaving you to your own devices. You scrolled on your phone as you drank your tea, slowly relaxing more and more.

Eventually you felt sleepy, yawning and stretching your arms. The motion caught Donnie's eye and he smiled over at you lovingly before pulling himself away from his work. "Is it bedtime?" He asked and you nodded, taking off your jeans so you could lay down comfortably. "Want one of my hoodies?" He asked and you gazed up at him, blinking slowly before nodding. He went to snag a comfy sweater, coming back to see you taking off your shirt and struggling with your bra. "Let me, dove". He murmured, snapping your bra off and kissing your shoulder as he helped you slide it off before handing you the hoodie to shimmy into.

You smiled contently before laying down. Donnie took off his gear before laying down with you. "You know, I think I'm awfully tired myself." He said, snuggling into you and you looked up at him with a giggle, grabbing his face gently to pepper his face with kisses. Donnie couldn't help but let out a few chirps, nuzzling into your hands.

"You're too sweet to me, Donnie". You murmured, snuggling into him. Donnie just smiled softly, gently grasping your jaw so he could give you a bunch of kisses on your lips and cheeks. You giggled sleepily. "Mkay stawp. It bedtime". You said, speech slurred with how tired you were. Donnie smiled and held you close, hand tangled in your hair. As he watched you sleep, he couldn't help but stare at you lovingly.

"What did I do to deserve you?"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Michaelangelo x Reader 🧡

You were clutching your chest, the fireworks ringing in your head. Two hands gently grasped your shoulders and you jerked your head up, blurry vision focusing enough to see your boyfriend. You sobbed and stumbled into his arms. Clutching onto him as he opened a portal and pulled you through and into his bedroom. You collapsed to your knees, hugging yourself and rocking softly in an attempt to calm yourself. Mikey crouched down in front of you, face worried. "Hey. Hey it's ok. C-Can I touch you?" He asked gently, tone unsure.

You took a deep breath and nodded. Mikey opened his arms and tugged you into his embrace. He whispered sweet things into your ear, one hand in your hair and the other half way up your shirt as he rubbed circles on your bare side. You clutched him close, doing your best to take deep breaths and ground yourself in reality. Eventually your breathing evened out and you nuzzled into his neck. "You a bit better, sunshine?" He asked softly, nuzzling you back as you nodded. "I could really go for a shower..." You sighed out. "You wanna take one alone or are you good if I join you?" He asked softly and you hummed in thought before lifting your head. "I'd like to take one with you if that's ok".

Mikey just chirped and excitedly nodded. "Of course, sunshine." He said before rushing off to the bathroom to start a shower. You chuckled softly, digging through his dresser to get a pair of the jammies he had gotten you forever ago. "It's ready!" Came his voice. You undressed and got into the shower with him.

The two of you took your time. Him washing your hair, you scrubbing his shell, him messaging your body with the body soap, you attacking his cute face with kisses. The two of you just spent time to decompress, you especially after the meltdown you had. "Feeling better?" Mikey asked once more and you smiled softly, hugging him and resting your head on his plastron. "Much. Thank you so much". You replied.

Mikey kissed your forehead and grinned. "You wanna get some pizza and play video games after this?" He asked, hopeful that you weren't too exhausted to pass up gaming. You looked up at him mischievously and giggled. "You already know it. I'm gonna kick your ass". Mikey laughed and squeezed your sides. "Oh you're so on".

You and Mikey spent the rest of the night eating pizza and playing video games, loudly talking shit to one another and winning rounds against each other until the two of you were so tired and ready to go to bed.

"I love you so much". He churred out, fingers tracing the features of your face. You hummed and nuzzled into his wrist. "I love you too, darling." You tilted your head to place a soft kiss to his mouth. His hand slid up to your face, gently deepening the kiss before pulling away and snuggling into you.

"My beautiful angel".

Haiiiiiii. Hope ya'll enjoyed dis. Fanks and byeeeeeee.

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thefourthwifeoftengenuzui · 9 months ago

Note

some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!

thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, I’ll be more than happy to share my thoughts~

status: unedited

word count: 1.4k (damn that’s the most I’ve written in a hot minute)

warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man I’m sleepy

wrote this instead of studying for my physics final exam😋

🩵Aged Up Kenma Headcannons🩵~

Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but he’s also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, I’d say that he really doesn’t change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean that’s kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. That’s not to say he isn’t introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.

This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.

But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldn’t be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But that’s way later on in the relationship.

Once he’s comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year “reacting to fucked up shit with my girl” type beat.

And since we’re on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<

Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.

”shit baby you good?” he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, “c’mere baby,” and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, “gimme ten more minutes to finish this and we’ll order some takeout k?”. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)

I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of y’all doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man 😭)

ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, it’s the hill I’m willing to die on.)

If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like he’d be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like I’d be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.

Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and I’m to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, it’s hot af)

aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a “he’s an ass but I love him.” Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, “I have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, you’re not taken them off now~” or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, he’d be like, “ damn someone’s neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?” Like bro stfu I’m just tryna cuddle. Either that or he’d call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.

Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. He’s the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? “Yes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~” *gags while writing this* You’re yelling at him for some stupid thing, “I sorry my sugar booger~.”

Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)

Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, he’s a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? C’mere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything it’s that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?🙏 )

The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, “I forgot my umbrella at work… yeah I’m soaked,” and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting “that’s what she said,” not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. It’s always so easy to talk with him, unless it’s about his problems, but we ain’t gon talk about that rn, I’m feeling too fluffy.

There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5’4. And Kenma is only 5’6. Chances are, he’s not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry 😋

Tbh I don’t see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while y’all smoking pot or something, being like “yo wanna get married?” He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So y’all just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.

in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope y’all enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love y’all bastards, Thots and Enby Hots🩵

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artisticxlly · 2 months ago

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Kagehina/Shobio headcanons!

Hinata has very pronounced canine teeth.

Both are a little possessive, but Hinata is worse off when it comes to it (he's more confrontational).

Kageyama has a thing for how Hinata smells and also how their bodies fit together (deep pressure has a big appeal to him (yes, he's autistic why do you ask /rhet)).

They both like getting their hair played with.

The most 'couply' petname they use is babe/baby (usually former gets used by Kageyama and latter gets used by Hinata), otherwise its playful insults or each other's first names.

Hinata likes spicy food, and Kageyama hates it (if it's past a certain spice level, he gets overwhelmed).

Hinata smells like coconut and citrus, and Kageyama smells like mint/flowery scents. Though subtle ones, he doesn't like heavily perfumed stuff.

Hinata tans and Kageyama sunburns.

Hinata has a shit ton of freckles, and Kageyama has a very small amount of moles that are very prominent. They are both kissed equally as much by the other partner.

(This one's a possible art idea of mine) In third year, Hinata steals some of Natsu's quite flashy/girly hairclips because Kageyama got irritated as he couldn't see Hinata's eyes (he had to surpress the urge to push Hinata's bangs back for him but don't worry he wasn't pining or anything nooo /s). Kageyama proceeded to have a gay crisis (Also, He/They Hinata is real to me idc idc idc /hj).

Kageyama isn't super great at eye contact except when it comes to Hinata. With him, he usually looks him in the eyes when speaking.

Hinata visited Kazuyo's grave to ask for his blessings before he confessed to Kageyama. Like he got flowers to put by the grave and even dressed up nicely for it. Kageyama was never told this, but he did notice the new addition of flowers when he visited Kazuyo's grave a few days later.

They like holding hands a LOT. It's one of their favourite pda's.

Big spoon? Little spoon? Nah, literally think of the most uncomfortable-looking position to entangle yourself in, and thats EXACTLY how they sleep.

Their closets aren't separated, which means they often just wear each other's clothes.

Kageyama gets cuteness irritation, he frowns a lot and knits his eyebrows together when Hinata is being adorable (Hinata doesn't pick up on that fact for a while and often criticises Kageyama for glaring at him even though he didn't do anything wrong).

Hinata likes marking Kageyama, sorry- Also, they get very demanding when needy,,

They have a nightlight by their bed and lamps scattered all over their living space. They practically never turn the big lights on.

Hinata starts carrying Kageyama's fidget toys with him, not only because he himself finds them fun to play with but also in the case of Kageyama getting overstimulated in a social setting.

The first time Kageyama was overwhelmed and rushed out of a scene, he had Hinata following him. Kageyama, at that point nonverbal, ended up explaining in writing what was going on with him on a tiny notebook he kept in his pocket. They wrote back and forth on it even and somewhere in Kageyama's old stash of things, he still keeps that notebook with the written pages still attached.

They both have sound-making stims that they do back and forth sometimes (Hinata pops his lips/makes a 'brr'/'mrp' sound and Kageyama clicks his tongue/snaps his fingers or cracks his knuckles). In some instances, they end up mirroring each other (with Kageyama doing an endearingly shabby job at rollings his 'r's).

They like making fun of romance movies when watching them, especially if the plot points are irritating or the characters are stupid (as if those two weren't pining for each other for literal YEARS before getting together.

They're both terrible at holding their alcohol. Both of them are lightweights for SURE.

If they got married: Hinata figured out when Kageyama would propose because he started fidgetting with the box in his jacket pocket and Hinata kept hearing something snap shut and open over and over.

I'd like to think that once they retire from the professional volleyball careers, they'd get a cat.

I also think they'd help out at volleyball workshops for younger teens when they're older (they like teaching the kids about their passion).

EDIT: Kageyama is a very stiff dancer while Hinata is veryyy smooth with hips (It flusters the hell out of Kageyama I just know it).

Let me know your thoughts if you have any!! :D

#half of these are about Kageyama being possibly very autistic but shhhhh #also holy SHIT my last big hc post got so many notes??? thank you :#i feel very accomplished #kagehina #shobio #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #arts hcs

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winchesterwild78 · 24 days ago

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Unspoken Words pt 7

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, other characters

Warnings: fluff, a little angst, David’s court date, more fluff

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but he’s such an amazing kid.

*One more chapter after this. Features a time jump or two. *

This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story.

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 3 months*

After coming back from California I decided to move Lily and I in with Jensen. He was excited I agreed to it. Living with him in California felt perfect, like we were exactly where we were meant to be.

Lily began talking more, and Jensen insisted on paying for a private speech therapist. I told him I was fine with the one she had been going to, but he wanted the best for her.

I quickly realized it was pointless to argue with him about her wellbeing. He stepped into the role of dad without missing a beat. We were a united front when it came to Lily, but he also used his status and money to help fill in gaps.

*Flash Back to the month after we left*

We flew back for the court date for David’s attempted kidnapping. Sarah watched Lily so Jensen and I could go. He was found guilty and sentenced to jail time. There was also a lifetime protective order put in place that prevented him from any contact with Lily, myself or Jensen.

When we came home for the court date I was sick for days. Chalking it up to nerves, I did my best to ignore it. After a few days and heading back to California Jensen started to get more concerned.

“Baby, you’ve been sick since before we went to court. Maybe you should go to the doctor.” He was right, I knew he was. I was just being stubborn.

“I can’t just drop what I’m doing and go to the doctor for a little bug. It’ll pass. It always does.”

Jensen just looked at me, “Baby, please. I’m worried about you. I’ll keep Lily and you go see Dr. Pickard. Please.” I sighed, “Okay. I’ll make an appointment.”

The next day I was sitting in the doctor’s office. I checked in and sat in the lobby. A young woman was sitting to the left of me and kept looking at me. I just wanted to get in and out without issues or being recognized.

The young woman leaned forward. I knew what was coming. “Excuse me, ma’am?” I turned and smiled, “Yes?” “I’m sorry to bother you, but are you dating Jensen Ackles?” I nodded, “Yes I am.” She grinned, “I thought that was you. It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Mary. Are you two getting married?” “It’s nice to meet you too, Mary, and I don’t know. He hasn’t asked, so I’m going to say no. Not right now.” “Oh, okay. Well maybe he will soon.” I smiled as my name was called, “Maybe. We haven’t been dating long, so we have time. You have a great day, Mary.”

I walked to the back with the nurse and explained why I was there. She told me the doctor would be in soon and would let me know if any tests would be needed. I nodded and she left.

Sitting in the room I felt really dizzy and sick. Dr Pickard came in and noticed I was sweating and was pale. “Ms Y/L/N, are you okay?” “No, I feel really dizzy and sick to my stomach.”

She checked me over and asked some questions. “Okay, let me run some tests. The nurse will be in soon and take some blood, do some swabs for the flu and other illnesses, and we need to check for pregnancy.”

I chuckled, “Wow, just checking everything, huh?” Dr Pickard looked at me, “Just trying to be thorough.” She left the room and the nurse came back in a few minutes later. They took my blood, she swabbed my nose and throat and had me pee in a cup.

“I’m gonna run all this to the lab, we should have the results for everything except the blood work before you leave today. The doctor will be back shortly.” I nodded and thanked her. I pulled out my phone and sent Jensen a text.

Me: I’ve been poked, prodded and swabbed. Waiting on some of the results. I’m being checked for flu or other things. I’ll keep you updated. How are you and Lily?

Jensen: Okay, hopefully they figure it out soon. I’m really worried about you, and we are fine. *1 image sent*

Jensen sent a picture of him with a princess tiara on and Lily in her princess dress. I laughed.

Me: aww look at the pretty princesses. I love you two

Jensen: We love you too, mommy. Come home soon.

Me: I will. TTYS

After about twenty minutes Dr Pickard came back in. “Well, Ms Y/L/N, you don’t have the flu or strep, your iron is a bit low and you're a little dehydrated, and you’re pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, what? I’m pregnant? How did that happen?” She chuckled, “Um, I’m assuming you and your partner had sex. Maybe unprotected?” I sat thinking, no, Jensen and I were always so… “Oh, yeah. That one time over a month ago.” She chuckled, “That’s all it takes. So I’m prescribing some prenatal vitamins and I want you to schedule an appointment to get the baby checked.”

“Okay. Thank you for everything.” My heart beat fast in my chest. I was pregnant. Jensen was the father. Would he be okay with this? We never really talked about children. How would Lily handle this?

My head was spinning by the time I got home. Jensen greeted me at the door with a hug and a smile. He saw the bag from the pharmacy and smiled. “So I see you have some medicine. I’m assuming the doctor found something?”

I took a deep breath, “Yeah she did. Jensen, we need to talk.” He sat down beside me and took my hands in his, “Okay baby. Is everything okay?”

With a shaky breath I looked at him, “Jensen, I’m okay. She didn’t find anything devastating, but what she did find is going to change our lives.”

Jensen looked at me, eyes so full of love, “Okay, now you’re scaring me. Y/N, please just tell me.”

Tears pricked my eyes, I was so scared. “Jensen, I’m pregnant.” He softly gasped. Silence filled the room and I didn’t know what to say or do.

The longer the silence stretched on, the more anxious I got. I swallowed hard, and the tears started to fall.

“Jensen, please say something.” His voice barely above a whisper, “You’re pregnant?” I nodded. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get pregnant. I know this isn’t something we talked about and I understand if you’re not ready. Lily and I can stay at our place and I won’t keep the baby from you if that’s what you want. I think Lily and I should go home. I’m so sorry Jensen.”

I stood up quickly and walked towards the bedroom. The tears fell fast as I felt the bile rise in my throat. I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my suitcase. Jensen was hot on my heels. He grabbed my hand and spun me around. His lips crashed on mine in a heated kiss.

I was shocked. When he pulled back he was smiling. “You’re pregnant. We’re having a baby!.” “Jensen, you’re not mad?” “What?! Why would I be mad? The love of my life is pregnant with our baby. Lily’s going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh sweetheart, please don’t leave. I want to be with you every step of the way.”

I cried harder. I wasn’t expecting his reaction. He pulled me in his arms, “Shh baby. Don’t cry, please. I love you and I can’t wait to have this baby with you. I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but I promise I’m not going anywhere. You, Lily and this baby have me forever.” He wiped my tears away and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

His hand rested on my stomach and he smiled. “I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.” I took a shaky breath in and out, letting go of all the anxiety I was feeling.

*Current Time*

I was heading to my doctor's appointment to check on the baby and Jensen was going with me. We had been back home in Texas for about a month and Lily and I were adjusting to living with Jensen.

I was worried she would have a hard time adjusting to the new house, but she loved it. Jensen made sure he put a gate around the pool, and a safety cover on the pool just in case. He also had her a swing set built in the backyard. They both spent a lot of time outside in the backyard playing. I couldn’t wait for the baby to be old enough to play with Lily and Jensen.

I stood at the full-length mirror in our bedroom and placed a hand on my belly. I was just starting to show more and I knew we couldn’t hide the pregnancy much longer. My biggest worry was telling Lily. I wasn’t sure how she’d react.

Sarah and Steve knew I was pregnant. They were excited for us. The two of them were coming over to watch Lily while Jensen and I went to the doctor.

I was too busy looking at my growing bump to notice Jensen standing at the door. He leaned against the doorframe and watched me with a smile on his face.

He walked up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my belly. He kissed my cheek, “How’s my babies today?” I smiled and leaned into him, “We’re okay. I’m hungry, but what else is new.” He laughed, “We’ll get you a snack before we head out. What do you want?”

“Hmm, pickles, peanut butter and apples sound delicious.” He chuckled, “Okay. I’ll get it and you finish getting ready.” I kissed his lips, “Thanks baby.” He nodded and smiled.

Lily knew something was different, but we hadn’t told her yet I was pregnant. We wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby before we told her. The appointment today was going to include an ultrasound and measurement of the baby. I was about 3 months pregnant and so far the pregnancy was going well.

Jensen was by my side through it all. He was in between filming schedules at the moment, so he was home. I knew he was leaving in about 3 weeks to head to Toronto for filming. We weren’t sure if Lily and I were going or staying home, honestly it depends on what the doctor told us.

Sarah and Steve arrived to watch Lily and Jensen and I were about to leave to go to the appointment. I was nervous but excited. This would be the first ultrasound and I was happy Jensen was going to be there for it.

Sarah gave me a hug and told me she couldn’t wait to see the baby when we got back. Lily looked at me and Sarah and whispered, “baby?”

I looked at Sarah and she mouthed, “sorry”. I just nodded.

I took a deep breath and sat Lily down. Jensen sat beside her. “Lily, sweetheart. Mommy and Jensen have something we want to tell you. You know how mommy has been sick and going to the doctor a lot? Well, mommy has a baby in her tummy. You’re going to be a big sister.”

Lily sat beside Jensen and I very still. She looked up at me, then down to my stomach, then up at Jensen. Tears filled her little eyes and she started to cry. I pulled her on my lap but she wiggled free and went to her room.

I started to follow her, but Sarah told me she’d go so we weren’t late. I wanted to go and see her, but I had to get to the appointment too.

“Y/N, honey. I’ll take care of her. You go check on the little bean.” I nodded and Jensen and I left.

The ride to the doctor’s office was quiet. I was worried about Lily and felt a pang of guilt for leaving like I did. Jensen sensed my uneasiness and took my hand in his.

“Hey, she’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath.” “I know Jensen, she was just so upset and I left. What kind of mother does that?”

“Y/N, don’t do that. You’re an amazing mother. Lily is safe with Sarah, and we had to get to this appointment. I know you’re upset, but she’s going to be okay, I promise.”

I nodded and wiped the tears that started to fall away. We arrived at the doctor’s office and got checked in.

The nurse checked my vitals and everything she needed to do. She asked how I’d been and told me the doctor would be in soon. Jensen stood beside the exam table and held my hand.

The doctor came in, did their exam and got me ready for the ultrasound.

I was so excited and nervous to see the baby. She put the gel on my belly and commented that she was surprised I was showing as much as I was. I thought it was an odd statement to make, but brushed it off as my eyes were glued to the monitor.

The doctor had a puzzled look on their face and kept looking at the monitor with an unreadable look on their face. I started to get nervous. “Hmm, that’s interesting.”

I looked at her and then at Jensen. He saw my distress, “What’s interesting?” He asked her. “One second, let me just check one more thing. Hmm, yep. Okay.”

Jensen looked at the screen, at her and then at me, “Is everything okay with the baby?” I started to panic a little because I wasn’t hearing a heartbeat. “Why don’t I hear a heartbeat?! Jensen, what’s wrong with the baby?!”

The doctor turned to us and offered a soft smile. I felt the bile rising in my throat. She flipped a switch on the machine and I heard the heartbeat. I let out the breath I was holding.

“Everything looks great. The heartbeats are strong and it looks like growth is on target. You both can relax. It looks like both of them are perfectly healthy.”

Jensen leaned down and kissed me and I turned back to the doctor to thank her, then it hit both of us. “Wait, what?! Heartbeats? Both?” She chuckled, “Congratulations, you’re having twins, and from the looks of it they are fraternal.”

Jensen chuckled, “Wow, we’re adding two babies to the family.” He kissed me again. I was filled with joy and then a wave of anxiety hit me. I was worried how Lily would handle the news of twins.

The doctor gave us pictures and we made our next appointment. I couldn’t take my eyes off the pictures. I clearly saw two babies in the pictures.

On the way home my hand rested on my stomach as my mind drifted to what life would be like with three children.

“Whatcha thinking about darlin’?” Jensen asked, breaking the silence in the car. “Just the babies and Lily. I don’t know how she’s going to feel about two babies. I’m just worried about her.”

He took my hand, “Hey, I get it. It might be hard for her at first, but she’s going to be a great big sister. When Mackenzie was born I wasn’t thrilled at first, but after a bit I loved her and protected her. Lily is going to be the same way.” “I hope so.”

When we got home We shared the news with Sarah and Steve and they both were excited. I asked Sarah where Lily was and she said in her room. “I talked to her, but I don’t know if it did any good. I’m sorry Y/N.”

I touched her arm, “No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. We will talk to her. Thank you both for watching her.”

Sarah nodded, hugged me goodbye and she and Steve left. I walked to Lily’s bedroom door and found her sitting on her bed holding her squirrel stuffy.

I walked in and sat on the bed, “Lily, honey, we’re home. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She turned her back to me. It broke my heart. I touched her arm, “Baby, look at mommy, please.”

She turned away and grunted at me. Jensen walked in and saw it. He walked up to me, touched my shoulder and motioned for me to come on. I looked at Lily and then back at him. I got up and left her room.

I started crying, “She’s so mad at me, Jensen. What am I going to do?” He pulled me in his arms and held me, “Hey, it’s okay. You get a snack and rest, I’ll talk to her.” I nodded and walked downstairs.

Jensen walked in her room and sat on the bed, “Hey baby girl. Will you look at me?” She turned further away. He put his hand on her shoulder, “Hey, Lily girl. Please look at me.”

She slowly rolled over and looked at him. Her big beautiful eyes red from crying. “No love Lily.” Jensen’s heart broke. He immediately pulled her in his lap and held her tight, “Oh sweet girl, no. Just because mommy is having a baby doesn’t mean we don’t love you anymore. We will always love our Lily girl. You’re our first baby, our first princess. We love you and love the new baby too. Just like you can love mommy and love me.”

She looked up at him and he wiped her tears away. “Love Lily?” “Of course we do. Forever and always. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She cautiously nodded. Jensen pulled out the ultrasound picture he had and showed Lily. “So, Lily, mommy has two babies in her belly. We don’t know if they are boys or girls, but there are two of them.” She smiled and held the picture looking it over. “Babies?” Jensen chuckled, “Yes, babies.”

She climbed out of his lap and ran to her closet. When she came back over she had a duck toy and handed it to Jensen, “For baby.” Jensen smiled and kissed the top of her head, “Come on sweet girl, let’s give it to mommy.”

Jensen carried Lily downstairs and to me. She hugged me and handed me the duck. I was a little confused. “She said it’s for the babies.” I smiled and nodded.

Lily sat beside me and looked at my belly. “Babies?” I placed my hand on my stomach, “Yes, mommy has two babies in her belly.” Lily looked at Jensen and then back at me. She slid closer to me, placed her hand softly on my stomach and then leaned down and kissed my belly.

My breath hitched and I looked at Jensen. He smiled and said, “See I told you, best big sister ever.”

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year ago

Text

Title: Wasted Love {Part II}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High Angst

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: Wasted Time |

-Lewis-

"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room. When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.

While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.

"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”

“I was—am—was. Shit.”

“You slipped up?”

“No! It was nothing, it was work.”

They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.

“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”

“What picture?”

He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.

“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.

Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”

“No.”

Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”

“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”

“Does she know that?”

“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”

“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”

“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”

They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.

~~~~~~~

-1 Week Later-

“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”

Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”

He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.

“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”

He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.

By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.

As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.

For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.

Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.

“You’re messing yourself up.”

Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.

“Mum.”

“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.

“Mum, it’s not like--.”

“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.

“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”

His brow rose, “What?”

“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”

“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”

His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”

He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.

“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.

“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”

He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.

“It was innocent. It was work.”

“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”

“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”

“Lewis,” she warned.

He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”

The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.

“Sweetie,” she began.

He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.

“She acts like I never said the words.”

Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”

That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.

“Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”

“Seriously!? No.”

“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”

“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.

“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.

“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”

That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.

“Lewis!”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”

This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace. It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.

Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.

He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.

“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.

“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.

“No?”

You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”

Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.

Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.

“What—what do I—do I do now?”

“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.

You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.

The second, you were worth it.

~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.

When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.

While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.

Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.

You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.

You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.

That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.

Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.

After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.

“What the hell?”

Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.

“No fucking way.”

You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.

Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.

You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”

Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”

You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”

When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.

“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”

He looked unamused now.

“Yet she did.”

You studied him still shocked.

“Let me in.”

“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”

Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”

“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”

From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.

Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.

A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.

“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.

You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.

“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”

Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.

As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.

“Speak.”

Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”

Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.

“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”

Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.

“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”

“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.

“Again, stop talking!”

His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.

“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”

Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”

“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”

“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”

“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”

You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”

You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”

You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”

“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”

You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?

“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”

He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.

“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.

“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”

“Shut up!”

That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.

“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”

That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.

“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.

He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.

“Are you listening now?”

You had no words.

“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”

Again he pushed out the envelope to you.

“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”

Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.

“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.

“Are you gonna take it?”

You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.

You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.

“So that’s it?”

Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.

“You tell me, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.

It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.

Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #wasted time one shot #wasted love one shot

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kwanisms · 9 months ago

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➔ jeonghan masterlist | back to seventeen m.list | back to main m.list

🔞 many of these works contain sexual content (18+ mdni) 🔞 ♤ — angst :: ♡ — fluff :: ♧ — smut ✍ — ongoing :: ⊝ — hiatus :: ⊗ — discontinued :: ✓ — completed

— oneshots

»» Tales from Camp: the Boathouse ♧ ➥ 3.2k; When Jeonghan is put in charge of packing up and putting away the canoes after a trip out on the lake, he is pleasantly surprised to see ay/N is assigned to help him.

»» You Look Like You Could Use a Drink ♧ ➥ 8.1k; Jeonghan is at work when someone sits down at his bar on December 24th and turns around to find none other than Y/N sitting before him.

»» Too Late to Apologize ♤ ➥ 2.7k; Jeonghan would never know how a chance encounter could change his life forever.

»» Kinkuary: somnophilia + lingerie ♧ ➥ 1.4k; Jeonghan and Y/N have a nonverbal form of communicating consent for their shared somnophilia kink: Y/N wears lingerie if she wants him to fuck her in her sleep which Jeonghan is always down for.

»» Kinktober '24: Speed Dating an Oni for Dummies ♧ ➥ 5.5k; Speed dating never was Y/N’s thing but lucky for her, she just so happened to meet someone worthwhile. He asked her on a proper date which developed into a relationship. After a regular date night, Jeonghan asks Y/N if he can try something new in the bedroom.

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— drabbles

L O A D I N G . . .

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— timestamps

L O A D I N G . . .

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— miniseries

L O A D I N G . . .

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— series

L O A D I N G . . .

ⓘ DISCLAIMER :: MONSTER/ALIEN FUCKER ENTHUSIAST ⓘ ©️ kwanisms 2018 - 2025 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan angst #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan smut #jeonghan x reader #seventeen masterlist #kwanisms masterlist

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 2 months ago

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2 and 4!

If you were to write a book (or make other media!) involving disability, what kind of book would you write?

Is there any popular disability theory that you disagree with?

2. book (etc) on disability

ooooo!!!!! feel like much would be like tumblr posts tagged as loaf screm. but more polished! with personal anecdotes but not autobiography - life too weird n not ready tell it all n be scrutinized. would have more societal analysis (like loaf screm tumblr posts) than only memoir about self, but would have live experience weave in narrative so much that not just world analysis.

want talk about much of same thing as tumblr: existing as nonverbal full time AAC n wheelchair user, I/DD, n regression. what it like not be able mouth speak, what it like not be able communicate via language irl majority of time. what it like losing your abilities n feel like stuck in limbo of not belong anywhere bc you not born this way but also you not stay way you born. the exclusion by so many people even people of own community. the disavow n throw under bus n punch down of disability community. how there more than one disability community. how privilege play into disability. so many things.

it something really! really want do!!! fantasized many many times!!! it unrealistic in moment but! maybe some day!!!! shove down people throat force world hear me >:)

3. disability theory disagree with

this mix of theory itself n how people talk about n use it… but social model.

many people say social model say you only disabled bc society n… that not exactly right. because social model define word bit differently n separate effects of society on you n call that disability, from effects of own body on you n call that impairment. so can’t summarize it as “only disabled by society” when by disability you use common definition of experience in world AND in own body.

but in mean time. my experience of society & my experience of own body mind, not separable. nor want separate them n only call one part disability. because if look at etomology look at prefix look at construction look at dis+ability, my body mind dis my ability too.

n disagree with people who only know of medical n social model n so call social model perfect thing in world n try apply it for everything everyone n call medical model useless n oppressive for all n shouldn’t be used for all.

biopsychosocial model my beloved. but also there so many more disability models beyond these 3! n people experience so wide, no one model going be accurate for everyone in all situations!

n also giving social model a L for phrase itself so terribly.

another thing is disability studies n thus disability theory, suffer from much same problem as talk about on tumblr of social media community. it an echo chamber it elitist. it make you think you write another complicated incomprehensible theory article that keep repeat yourself in most un-plain language ever is you be hyper aware of societal power n solving it.

scholarship n theory have its uses n learn lots from it n use many ideas learn from it in own advocacy here (even if it just 1% n force to throwing away 99% that didn’t understand), but need stop treating like it will single-handedly save world n it itself so woke it so free of problems, that it n authors isolated from societal power dynamics. n other jargon used. especially if those theory stay at theory n not get read n used in practice down on ground by people who do direct work. which, honestly, sound like some of you (academics) aren’t exactly try make this happen you trying keep it locked gatekept bc you keep write incomprehensible things

ask game

#answered #🍞.txt #ask game #disability ask game #long post

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lukolabrainrot · 6 months ago

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London Thoughts and The Events Since

Alright, y'all have been requesting it, so here we go...

First, let's take a step into a little story shall we:

26 y/o boy living on his friend's couch trying to make it as an on-screen actor (but a sweet theater nerd at heart). Starts a new relationship with someone also into theater. It's homey and nice and going well. Boy is about to give up on breaking out of theater when BOOM now introducing Colin Bridgerton. Boy meets girl playing his romantic counterpart in the show and BOOM what is all this warmth he feels for her. Boy is in awe and just mesmerized by this girl. The boy loves this girl. But wait, the boy is a little bit younger than the girl, and the boy has a girlfriend. The boy wants to make things work with his girlfriend. He loves her. So the boy pushes those feelings down and becomes good friends with the girl, but they flirt with each other constantly, and others start picking up on an energy between them. The boy's girlfriend also starts picking up on the energy between her boyfriend and the girl. She knows what her boyfriend looks like when he is in love. The boy and the girl are going to finally be the leads in the show. It is a very exciting time, and the boy and girl get a lot closer. Things with the boy and his girlfriend start to sour for various reasons, and the girlfriend starts to get a little insecure and jealous of the girl. The boy tries to distance himself from the girl, but then has to redirect all his attention on the girl when they start filming their season. This is the breaking point with the boy and his girlfriend, and they part ways. The boy and the girl channel all of their pent up sexual chemistry and feelings into their characters, and they are having an amazing time. The dials on the flirting turn to 11, and they start toying with the idea of acting on their feelings in private. Eventually, they do. Their season wraps up, and they are having a great time with each other in private. Things are going well for a while, and they are playing sneaky little SM games with the fans to tease that they might be a little more than friends. However, the girl is pretty jaded about love, and has not prioritized that part of her life in a long time. The girl also really likes the boy, and doesn't want to mess anything up between them. The boy is ALL IN though, and wants something more than casual. The girl puts the breaks on the relationship, but there are a lot of deep feelings for each other that both of them have still not shared. The boy then goes on a HBS and casually dates people who seem totally different from the girl because the boy is a little heartbroken, and does not want to be reminded of the girl. The boy is also not emotionally available, because the boy and the girl never established firm boundaries on what their relationship will be moving forward. Eventually, the boy meets someone that he has fun with, and she gets along with his friends. However, the boy and the girl come back together to finish filming for their season, and ALL of the feelings come flooding back. But the boy is again (kind of) in a relationship, but BOOM the boy and the girl then have to spend the next 6 months promoting their season all over the world with all of these unresolved feelings...

Alright, I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing that 😂 Soooo, these are my theories on where L/N were at when the PR tour started in January. And then I already talked about my theories on what happened between them on the PR tour. Which leads us to London...

London

I will say this, I personally didn't observe any MAJOR changes in the nonverbal cues in how L/N were interacting with each other in London. Also, which was particularly telling to me, N still had the total heart eyes for L (you can tell because L has this habit of losing track of what he is saying when she is looking at him like that, which he did at least twice from what I remember during the various interviews they did in London). She also just had this happy glow about her like she was really at ease and content (which I also thought was interesting because they both must have been SOO tired by this point 🤔). HOWEVER, I did notice that L seemed a little more anxious than normal, and started using more distancing language and just in general seemed way less on-board with the shipping around L/N. And by the London red carpet, I realized something big was going on internally for L based on the body language and behavior. SOME of that I think is because red carpet events are just challenging for him in general (might have something to do with his anxiety and ADHD). I also think though that there was a lot more going on BTS during this period than we were privy to at the time. Here are my thoughts on what was going on during London (based off everything we know now):

Let's first remember the goldmine that was Ireland (which was JUST a few days prior). And I choose to believe N that L/N stayed the weekend with her family (which is still WILD to me that she admitted that on a public interview, because people are obviously going to read into that 🙃). And also WHYYY would she lie about that, when it's such a personal thing and had nothing to do with the show. I mean yes, maybeee she was lying, but it just doesn't really make sense to me that she would lie about THAT.

I started noticing near the last leg of the tour (by Toronto), N started to be a LOT more obvious about her feelings for L, and was making some pretty big slip-ups (and personally I observed that it seemed L was the one who was noticing and trying to correct for that and not let the WHOLE cat out of the bag). Now why was N being so obvious? SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. And I think this is a lot newer for N because she has been so jaded about love and romance for such a long time. Even though I firmly believe L fell first, I think this was a lot more of a big deal for N because she hasn't had something like this in a long time (imo). So she was just really excited and giddy and having a hard time hiding it.

I think L/N had some conversations while they were in Ireland about how they were going to handle their public narrative moving forward, because like I mentioned in my A theories here, L was always going to have to start publicly distancing himself from N (REGARDLESS of what was actually going on with L/N BTS). And personally, I think that started by the promo in London, which I think was kind of jarring for the public that was following along considering L/N's behavior just a few days before in Ireland.

Therefore, I think a lot of this change in body language and responses from L was coming from the feelings he was having around this, as well as knowing that soon he would have to go public with A. I'm sure this was incredibly stressful, and as we know, L is not very subtle or good at lying/hiding his true feelings. However, I don't think this shift in L was coming from any type of shift in feelings between L/N. I think by London, L had become super self-conscious and in his head about everything, and I think he was just ready to be done with the promo because it was giving him a lot of anxiety. I think a lot of those feelings though were coming from wanting to protect NICOLA. I think L/N had a plan on how they were going to handle distancing in their public narrative after the London premiere, BUT I personally believe A hijacked that narrative...

To Papgate and Beyond

So, I think we all know the events of everything that has happened since the London premiere between L/N/A, and I still stand by my thoughts on the situation here. This is what I will add (again, these are just theories though based on the information we have now and what I have observed):

I am fairly certain that A was responsible for tipping the paps off for the hotel pics because she was upset and trying to reclaim some control on the situation. It was obvious that DM's objective was to sell a certain narrative, and they weren't really able to get that because I don't think L had any plan to publicly acknowledge her that night (mainly based on the damage control he had to do right after, and how L/N were interacting on SM following the event). The only person who benefited from those pics was A, and all the roads lead back to her being involved with DM in some type of way if you look at all the information we have now. Now was L's team involved with the first set of pap pics after the after party? Maybe, I just don't have enough information to say yes or no. I could see though that this may have been planned in advance on his side to start to publicly distance/seperate himself some form N. However, I don't really have any information to prove that, more just a feeling.

I think part of the understanding that L came to with A after Brazil was allowing her to get attention by publicly linking herself to him, regardless of the negative impact it may have on his career in the short-run. I think the reason it seems like he is just passively letting things happen around him related to SM and the press is because HE IS. After Papgate 2.0 and all the information that came out around that, it became clear to me that A has a larger goal to get her name out there THROUGH HIM, regardless of how it makes him look. And I think there is an understanding between L/A that he's just not going to ask questions and let her do what she wants and let the cards fall where they may for right now.

Now you might say, that doesn't make a lot of sense, why would he do that, it seems like kind of a poor choice career wise? Yes, I agree, this was not a great career move (and I think he underestimated HOW MUCH of an impact this was going to have). However, like I have said, it is my belief that L decided he was going to take the bullet for what (MAY) have occurred between him and N on the tour because he's trying to protect NICOLA's public image. I think he had a different plan though on how he was going to introduce A to the public, but once A hijacked that, I think he was kind of just stuck in a situation where he had to let A do what she wants because again, HE DOESN'T WANT A TO LEAK INFORMATION ABOUT HIM AND N.

If ANY of my theories around A that I have mentioned so far are true (and I am almost certain that SOME of them are), there is NO way L/A are doing great on an emotional level. Which is why the public optics around them have looked so strange starting from when she was publicly introduced at Papgate. I think it is also PARTICULARLY telling that even though the cat is out of the bag regarding A, his team will still not publicly confirm she is his girlfriend. Personally, I think that is intentional because it makes it easier to untangle himself more quietly from her in like 3-4 months (which I think is the plan). I could be wrong though of course, but something in my gut, based on everything I have seen, tells me that they aren't all happy and boo'd up like A the press wants us to think. There are just too many weird and shady things going on BTS.

Lastly, I think it was ALWAYS the plan for L/N to publicly disconnect after the London premiere. However, that doesn't really have anything to do with their private relationship. We only see a small sliver of their lives, and we have no way of knowing the full story BTS because we don't know them. I also think a lot of people are struggling with the fact that there was SO MUCH content of them for MONTHS, and now we have been cut off cold turkey. I don't personally find though the lack of content or SM interactions with each other currently as a direct indicator of the status of their relationship (ex: I don't think it's a direct indicator that they have ill feelings towards each other). Let's assume my theory is correct that the PR tour forced the two of them to address some deep feelings for each other that they had been having for a while, and those feelings were reciprocated. And then this newfound evolution in their relationship played out on a very public stage while L was publicly connected to someone else. That is a lot of pressure and incredibly stressful. I could not even imagine. Therefore, I think L/N are navigating some complicated things in private, but I don't think that it negates the positive emotional shift they had during the tour. I think they need to take this time out of the public eye to explore these complex, newfound feelings and developments in their relationship. I still don't think though that we would have seen what we did between L/N during the tour by Toronto if they weren't on the same page about seriously exploring their romantic feelings at some point in the near future. But those are just my thoughts...

Anywhooo, that concludes my L/N timeline theories 😊 Thanks for coming to my TedTalk! 😂

#just my opinion #lukola #lukola theories #timelines #nonverbal cues #london #shady deals

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