#(weird aus for a half baked idea but it wouldn't leave my head)

[rocknrollsalad]

rating: gen cw: drinking/getting drunk, high society expectations, cranky steve and robin, period typical homophobia tags: no upside down au, rich kid steve au, steddie and Buckingham double date, chirstmas parties, Eddie learns whats in eggnog word count: 2412

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written for the steddiemas prompt "eggnog" but it's a good week late, another victim of the plague I caught lol

“You better go collect your man,” Robin whispered, having appeared out of nowhere.

Steve hissed, “Stop calling him that.”

His eyes darted around the room, both to make sure he wasn’t heard. Robin was right, he hadn’t seen his boyfriend (who was definitely not his date tonight) in a while. Probably not a good sign.

“Well he is,” she scoffed.

“You are supposed to be my date, that’s the cover story. For you and for me. Doesn’t really work if you go around talking about how I really brought Eddie.”

It shut Robin up for a second, just long enough for Steve to enjoy the victory, before she said, “Tell your parents to stop being so uptight.”

Except the counter to that was the same as it always was. “And yours are so cool about it.”

Probably not the round and round Robin wanted when she walked up here on some high horse. One she had no business climbing on. She knew Steve was always a little extra stressed at these stupid dinner parties and that tonight was going to be worse. Instead of being supportive, it was almost like she was trying to sabotage things.

They could talk about it later. Right now, Steve apparently had to go find Eddie because there was no way Robin was saying that for fun. He was doing something. Probably making a run for it…which was smart. Steve could, at least, show him the best escape routes and let him know he didn’t take it personally.

Especially because it was a lot harder for Steve to make that run for it anymore. Ever since they’d brought him in from the kiddie room (which was actually the garage), his moves were tracked. Sure he wasn’t sharing one sad, toppingless pizza with a bunch of kids he didn’t know anymore but at what cost? At least the garage had video games…and no one talking about investments or how he should have gone to college.

Steve went off to find out what was going on with Eddie. Robin, in her endless helpfulness, decided to stay put and give no direction. It left Steve to go from room to room, asking everyone he could. No one had seen him. Something that was maybe a good thing? This meant he wasn’t standing on expensive furniture telling some amazing and elaborate story that would be wasted on these stuffy assholes.

Things got so desperate, Steve asked his mom if she’d seen Eddie. She always knew everything that was happening at these parties. Yet she hadn’t seen him. It seemed unlikely and a quick segue into tired reminders to not cause a scene. This one came with the bonus lecture of not ignoring his date because “no respectable woman is sidelined for a friend, dear.”

And nothing proved more that Steve’s mom didn’t see everything. Not only would he and Robin stick by each other through anything, she wasn’t even his actual date. Though, Steve did have to admit the only people in the world who believed they weren’t dating were them. Probably Chrissy and Eddie but sometimes Steve wasn’t so sure.

Moving on from his mom before he got roped into some mind-numbingly boring discussion, Steve ran into Chrissy. She was Eddie’s date who was really Robin’s date and had been folded into the group shenanigans. Which meant Steve was so ready to drag her into this quest. If he couldn’t have Robin, he could at least have help.

“We’ve lost your date,” Steve sighed, trying not to freak out yet.

“What do you mean?” she asked, instantly jumping to freaking out.

Steve linked their arms together and continued walking on, trying to think of where else he’d hide out. “Robin came up to me and told me to go collect my man. I thought he was doing something embarrassing but, like, I can’t find him. Do you think he’d leave?”

“No,” she cooed. “He’s been so worried about this night, there’s no way he’d leave you. He wouldn’t.”

Something that would have been so much more flattering if Steve had any fucking clue where the guy was.

“The garage!” Steve said, realizing the one place he hadn’t looked.

Chrissy didn’t say anything, just picked up her pace and they sped off toward the kiddie party. Of course. it was in the detached garage. Heaven forbid the kids breathed in the others, dad’s cars would lower in value at the mere thought.

So they barged through the door and onto the familiar path, still arm and arm, laser-focused on the only place it made sense for Eddie to be.

Before the door closed behind them, the soft exclamation of “Steve” was sung out and Chrissy and Steve both leaped into the grass, barely holding back screams as the voice startled them.

Steve easily moved Chrissy behind him as they both looked for the source of the voice, rather than some creepy old guy or party crasher, it was the exact person they were looking for. Both of them let out a matching, but quiet, exclamation for finding Eddie.

He was sat on a stone bench, leaning against the house, and smoking. Not only was he well hidden by shrubbery but Steve had expected to find him indoors. He needed that last glimmer of hope that Eddie was still at the party. And he hadn’t exactly left so that was…something?

“Hey man,” Eddie drawled out.

Steve’s eyes narrowed but he turned to make sure Chrissy was stable and had recovered from the little fright neither of them was going to speak about.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Chrissy said.

Resigning to her point, Steve nodded and went for the “what she said” shrug.

“I’ve been ri-ight here, baby.”

“He’s drunk,” Chrissy and Steve whispered to each other.

“Oh no!” Eddie cried out, dropping his head back. “Who told you?”

“I think you did, champ,” Chrissy laughed.

This probably wasn’t great. Steve went into panic mode immediately, ideas on what to do next sped through his mind followed by the consequences of each. A drunk Eddie was less likely to keep up the ruse, one he and Robin had organized so carefully.

It wasn’t time to come out, yet. Steve knew that time was rapidly approaching. Each and every day he had to lie about who he was with or what he was doing was another stab in the chest but at The Harrington Christmas Soiree? That was not the time. If they could just get into the new year, Steve would come clean, and probably get disowned, but at least it wouldn’t go down for “trying to steal the spotlight”.

Chrissy rubbed her hand between Steve’s shoulder blades. He had to be thinking awfully loudly right now. Where was Robin when he really needed her?

“I didn’t mean to,” Eddie pouted.

Steve watched Eddie pat around the bench and his own clothes, looking for his lighter. It was such a distinct move but it brought in this creeping feeling of normalcy with it. They’d done this before. Both drunk and sober.

As he had many times before, Steve reached into his pocket and got his lighter. Once he was close enough, he shielded the flame so Eddie could re-light his cigarette. Which he did with ease. The smoke billowed from Eddie and cleared both of their heads.

“How’s that work, though?” Steve asked. He then turned to Chrissy and leaned in a bit. “Could you go find Robin, remind her not to gloat, and maybe get a glass of water? In that order of importance.”

“She’s not going to gloat,” Chrissy said but it’s already an apology. They both know the truth. It’s part of Robin’s charm but it’s always extra annoying in moments like these.

“That’s the spirit, let's hope for Christmas miracles.”

They share a giggle that they’ve earned by being as close to Robin as they are and Chrissy disappeared back inside. Steve sat down next to Eddie and moved his hand so Steve could take a quick drag off the cigarette. He’s going to need it…or some of whatever Eddie had.

“Alright, what’s the story then?”

“Have you ever had eggnog,” Eddie asked. A question that feels wildly off topic but, again, he’s a little drunk so a coherent sentence is a great start.

“Yeah, it’s disgusting.”

“No-ooooooooo. No. Look, listen, I mean. It’s not. You’re wrong. Wayne makes it all the time,” Eddie leaned in closer, a hand cupped over his mouth as he whispered. “Every year.”

“Yeah, my parents do too. It’s nasty. The one in the punch bowl is the one you want.”

“Au contraire, that one has alcohol in it and I’m supposed to behave,” Eddie has his finger raised, wagging in the air like a cartoon teaching valuable life lessons.

“And so’s the eggnog.”

“Mmmmmm, no. I think I’d know that.”

“I…actually, yeah. I’d have thought you knew that too. Wait, so how– you know you’re drunk now, right?”

“Yeah but, ya know, we’re not telling Steve. He’s going to make me sleep on the couch for a whole week.”

“Sure,” Steve pressed his lips together and nodded. This was ridiculous and he kind of wished Eddie was just giving some rambunctious nerd speech. “But how’d you get drunk then?”

“Sabotage, obviously. The Harrington’s don’t want the heir to their throne with a commoner like me.”

“So they spiked your drink?”

“Totally.”

“Somehow complimentary you think they’d waste liquor on that,” Steve shrugged and he snatched Eddie’s pack of cigarettes to light one for himself.

“So it was Robin!”

“More believable actually. No, it was the eggnog.”

“There’s not alcohol in eggnog, Wayne wouldn’t give me it if there was.”

“Because you have to put it in, which my parents do.”

In a different situation, this would be funny. Steve might even find a way to laugh about it later but the guilt simmering in his chest for not teaching Eddie about which drinks had liquor is too strong to enjoy the laughable way his boyfriend accidentally got drunk.

All the solutions Steve had run through didn’t fit the situation anymore. They were likely both going to have to leave. Or worse, Eddie and Chrissy were and that’d ruin so many people’s nights.

Before he could think of a way to save everyone’s good time, Chrissy returned. Robin right behind her. Steve quickly stamped out the cigarette like Robin wouldn’t see and stood to talk to them.

He filled them in on the whole eggnog situation. It earned the appropriate level of laughter but once it subsided, they started trying to actually solve the problem. Eddie sat content on the bench, watching them adoringly as they worked out his fate. Steve had to give it to him, he was a very happy drunk.

“Hey, psst, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” Eddie said as they were finalizing some plans to get him upstairs to Steve’s room and full of coffee.

“Oh my god,” Robin said, trying to shut him up.

Steve walked over, leaning into his space so he wasn’t towering over him. “Yeah, man. What’s up?”

“I just need you to know-”

“Oh boy.”

“I came in with a smoking hot blonde but she’s not really my date.”

With all the patience in his body, Steve let out a sigh that was every bitchy comeback he had rolled into one sound, and said “Yup.”

“You’re way better.”

“You didn’t even commit to that. At least hit on me. Ugh. Can you just be cool for like two more minutes?”

“Cool? Yeah? Yeah! I can be cool for so many minutes. Two, ten, six, eighty. I’m good at it.”

“You’re not, so we better do something quick.”

“We should fool around is what we should do. This place has to have so many rooms. I didn’t even peek in half of them.”

Steve turned around and looked at the girls, “I think we gotta leave.”

“You can’t leave your own family Christmas party,” Robin said.

“I’ve done it so many times. Chrissy and Eddie have to go because Eddie’s sick. You and me can work something else out.”

Eddie stood up and leaned on Steve. “You should have some of that eggnog. I guess they make it with alcohol here.”

“Will you stop acting like we don’t know each other!” Steve scrubbed his hand over his face.

Robin sucked her teeth, “Might be for the best, he won’t blow anyone’s cover that way.”

“But he’s being so obnoxious about it,” Steve groaned.

“Good thing he’s the only one being obnoxious,” Robin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

A pose Steve mirrored, “What do you suggest then?”

“Let him sleep it off. He’s right, there’s plenty of rooms here and all we have to do is tell the truth for once. He didn’t know there was alcohol in the eggnog.”

“I didn’t know. I gotta tell Wayne though, it’s way better this way.”

“Who doesn’t know,” Steve groaned. Not frustrated at Eddie for not knowing, not really, but stressed out by the situation and that had to go somewhere.

“What if,” Chrissy said with her shoulders pulled up to her ears. The meek injection spoke to her nervousness but she got everyone’s attention. “We joined Eddie?”

Eddie, who was draped on Steve’s back with an arm over his shoulder and idly rubbing Steve’s chest, hummed in approval. The comfort of Eddie’s weight had Steve forgetting everything they were supposed to be hiding as he melted into the comfort and contact.

Still, he and Robin voiced matching sounds of confusion.

“It’s not embarrassing if the ‘kids’ got drunk. It’s our first time here, they almost expect us to overdo it so…let’s overdo it. Eddie won’t be the one who didn’t know this or that, we’ll all just be young adults doing what’s expected of us.”

Steve pondered the plan. “We couldn’t go wild.”

“It’s not a frat house,” Robin said for Chrissy.

Eddie gave a soft “Yeah” that Steve knew was meant to mock Robin but came out like agreement.

“It could work.”

“It could be fun!” Chrissy cooed, jumping up and down a few times. Maybe they all needed to take the edge off here.

The hand that was on Steve’s chest now held his cheek as Eddie kissed the other one.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go have some fun,” Steve groaned, doing his best to act like he hated this.

“Finally!”

[thebookwormfairy]

Maribat Buzzfeed Unsolved AU

Ok so another one. In this au there Marinette is not ladybug or Chat Noir she's just a regular civilian. If you wondering who have the miraculous right now it's a adult, because Marinette deserves to be a child also this takes place around the time Marinette is 16

Also warning lots of curse words used

This idea came from the Maribat Discord thanks to everyone there

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Ever since Lila came to school Marinette has been more and more excluded from class events

Originally it was very rare, like we went to the movies and were going to invite you but then we remembered that you were helping your parents in the backery

We were going to invite you but then remembered you were babysitting

Weren't you working on a design for that contest

Then they stop making excuses and just posted pictures to their social medias

She tried to organize events but for some reason Lila always had something planned then and of course the class can't leave HER out of anything

It got to the point where the class only talked to her if they needed something

Oh Marinette I have a big race coming up can you make me a banner

Oh Marinette can you make some bake goods for me

Hey Marinette can you plan this school dance all by yourself with absolutely no help from us while if you ask for help we'll make you feel guilty about it

Hey Marinette can you babysit the Twins and Chris, when we're suppose to do it, for no pay, while we go out on a date.

It really sadden Marinette that her so called friends who for most she knew all her life only saw her as at most an employee

But there were some bright sides

Her grades where going even higher and now she's one of the top students at school

Marinette was able to put more time into training in self defense something you need with all the Akumas in Paris

And Sabine even taught her everything she knew about martial arts

She was able to study Mandrine (for her mom's family) and English (for Jagged and Penny) and had become almost fluent in both

Marinette had a lot more time to work on her designs

Jagged Stone started to hire her to make and design more and more items

Her business has even spread to Clara Nightingale

Which will really help her in her career later in life

But Jagged seemed to think that later in life was now

One day he asked to have a meeting with Marinette and her parents

Marinette just thought it was to commission another design, but like always Jagged had a way of surprising her

Jagged: Well you see I'm leaving Paris soon to head back to my home town of Gotham, and I was wondering if I could take Marinette with me

Tom, Sabine, and Marinette: WHAT?!?!

Penny: Let me explain, you see Marinette's designs are some of the most popular Jagged ever had, people love her work, and we want to make her Jagged's full time designer. It would be a great opportunity for Marinette's future and would put her on the fast lane to a great career

Sabine: But what about school.

Jagged: Don't worry Sabine, Penny's thought of everything

Penny: It's all taken care of. Gotham Academy one of the top schools in the world is ready to take her the moment she says yes, she would be staying in an apartment right next to Jagged, with all expenses paid for while still getting paid for her work, and of course she can come back and visit whenever she wants.

Tom: It sounds like a great offer, but can we discuss this in private for a moment

Jagged and Penny nodded their heads and left the room

Marinette: Mama, Papa, I really want to take this offer

Sabine: Are you sure honey? This is a big step.

Tom: Not to mention you would be all alone in a big city. What about your friends?

Marinette: I will miss my friends (or at least the old them) but when will I get an opportunity like this and I wouldn't be alone I'd have Jagged and Penny

With some more discussions the choice was made and Penny started making arrangement to move Marinette to Gotham City.

And before Marinette noticed she was settling in to her new life in Gotham city.

And already it was much better then her one in Paris

Her new school was great

She had a lot of great friends and even a boyfriend now Damian Wayne

They met on her first day, when she accidentally ran into him

It sounds crazy but it was like love at first sight

They didn't start dating right away, it would take a couple of months for Damian to ask her out, but Marinette couldn't be happier

So were his brothers who she met soon after becoming Damian's friend

Now whenever Marinette wasn't designing for Jagged or at school she was hanging out in Wayne Manor

Marinette already had a youtube channel but it really didn't have that much content. Until one day she decided to discuss a famous cold case with her boyfriend and get it on camera

The first case she told him was an Australian case called the man from Somertan Beach

It was a short video, with her talking about it with Damian, but halfway through the video Jason (who had been filming them) made one too many comments and Damian decided to just switch places with him

Marinette kept making videos with Jason as her cohost and Damian behind the cameraman

It was relatively popular but not to big until Marinette did a case about the supernatural

When she learned that Jason did not believe in it

They spent the whole video arguing over the ghost at the Cesil Hotel in LA

The videos blew up

Jason: I don't know old building are weird they make all sort if weird noises

Marinette: How does a house creaking sound like get out

Jason: Well nobody said weather this person is a credible witness or not

As the youtube channel got more popular Marinette and all the bat boys (all of them got dragged into helping with videos now) started to go to haunted locations during school breaks and when Marinette had breaks in designing for Jagged

The Winchester

Jason: Man this place is bigger than the manor

Marinette: well if you had to keep building to stop ghost from killing you, your house would be huge too

Jason: Wait is that why Wayne Manor is built so weirdly, Bruce is hiding from ghost

The Sally house

Marinette: Fuck this place omg we're all going to be killed by a demon

Jason: How can something that doesn't exist kill you

Jason: Hey demon come on kill me you mother fucker.

Damian (off camera): Jason stop freaking Marinette out.

Jason: Oh I'm sorry Marinette I was wrong. Demons do exsist, one is our camera man

At the bottom of the screen you can see Damian's middle finger

Marinette (to flashlight): Don't turn on don't turn on don't turn on

Flashlight turns on

Marinette: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MOCKED IT JASON!!!!

Joker's Hideout

Marinette: it said that this place is haunted by Joker's victims, or that it is possible that this place is infested by a demon who drove Joker mad and drove him to kill

Jason: Well that's convenient, you're a crazy murderous clown, it's all because of a demon.

Marinette: Keep it down Jason we don't know if the Joker is here right now or not

Damian: Wait the Joker might be here. Angel why did you want to come here then?

Marinette looking embarrassed: It was a good case.

Jason standing behind something making a grunting sound

Marinette walks by and sees him: AAAHHHH!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE SOUNDING LIKE A FUCKING ZOMBIE.

Goatman Bridge

Jason: I'm dancing on your bridge Goatman it's my bridge now

Marinette: He is going to kill you

Jason: See this Goatman I disrespect your bridge. It's me and Marinette's bridge now

Marinette: Stop pulling me into you bullshit Jason!

Jason: If you're not apart of this then tell Goatman

Marinette: I'm not with him.

Jason: You're talking to Goatman now

Marinette: I see what you did there.

Jason: Hey we're here for the cult stuff

Jason to demons: Hey demons it me ya boy

The fans love the twos dynamic

They also love the random comments Damian would make from behind the camera every once and a while

Sometime between breaks in filming at a location Jason would get candid videos of Damian hugging Marinette

When they sleep overnight at places Damian would always sleep and cuddle with Marinette

The fans love it

And they ship it

One case as a joke is The Mystery of Marinette Dupen-Cheng

This one is Jason and Damian doing the video, while Marinette is away on a tour with Jagged Stone

Half of the video is actually stuff that Marinette does and can do that confuse them

They show a video of Marinette yeeting Jason out of the kitchen when he scared her once

Another video is of Marinette stealing Damian's sweatshirt while she passes him

Just one moment it's on Damian the next Marinette has it

A video of Marinette going head to head with Riddler

And her actually stumping him with one

The other half is just Damian gushing about his girlfriend

Damian: She is just the sweetest girl who deserves the world. I would gladly kill anybody who hurts her. She is just my Angel and I would do anything to make her happy.

It ends with Jason saying: Well that is the mystery of Damian's future wife, weather she's actually human remains unsolved.