#(using the strictest possible definition of spoiler - it's really not)

[yeeclaw]

DAFNE KEEN as LAURA in Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

[homunculusalbedo]

Albedo is a Homunculus

After analyzing the game Genshin Impact, along with comparing it to outside sources of media, I believe that Albedo is a Homunculus. I am aware that many others have also theorized this, but I’m taking it a step further. Not only is Albedo an artificial human, but he is the result of a horrific sacrifice at Khaenri’ah. Bold words, I know. But hear me out.

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for the Genshin Impact story quest “Princeps Cretaceus” (Albedo’s story quest), the story quests involving Dainsleif, Albedo’s story, Albedo’s voicelines, and for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Please continue on at your own risk.

Let’s begin with the definition of a homunculus: Dictionary.com states that a homunculus is, “an artificially made dwarf, supposedly produced in a flask by an alchemist.” For starters, Albedo is shorter than a lot of other characters, and is around the same height as Xiao, who is frequently teased for his short stature. 

This checks the box of a “dwarf”, though it’s not in the strictest definition of the word. Regarding Albedo’s origins, very little is known. 

In Albedo’s Story 3, some information is given: “Albedo has no memory of any blood relations. From birth, he was already adventuring deep within domains with his master.” 

His master, the alchemist Rhinedottir is also described as, at least to Albedo, “his only kin.” 

Rhinedottir talks often about alchemy in Albedo’s story, especially chalk. She says, “ ‘From soil was birthed chalk.’ “  and “ ‘Chalk is the spotless soil, and was used to make primordial man.’ ”  in Albedo’s Story 5.

Rhinedottir then tells Albedo,  “ ‘The chalk: that is you.’ “ If Albedo is ‘the chalk”, then he was used to make primordial man. Or more likely, he was created from chalk. The rest of the story practically confirms this by saying, “His master was not his birth mother, but Albedo has no doubt that his life stems from her nonetheless.“

For more connections between Albedo and chalk, his title is literally “Chalk Prince” in German and his story quest title is also “Chalk Prince” in Latin.

So, Albedo = chalk

Ok, so Albedo was created by Rhinedottir. Yaaaaay... but... how? Alchemy is no easy business, no matter how simple. Creating a human being must require a lot of power and work. So how did Rhinedottir create Albedo?

It has been stated in Genshin Impact that Albedo practices Khemia, an advanced form of alchemy that originates from Khaenri’ah. He learned this from Rhinedottir. For those who don’t know, Khaenri’ah is a civilization that was brutally destroyed 500 years ago. Dainsleif comes from there and witnessed its destruction. In the same story quest where this is revealed, it is also stated that the Traveler witnessed the fall of Khaenri’ah. Needless to say, it was a history defining moment that wiped out an entire civilization. The exact details of how it was destroyed aren’t known, but given how powerful Khemia is, it could easily be the cause of its destruction.

Now let’s switch gears to a different universe: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. This is also a world full of alchemy, but this one has rules, the main one being: NO HUMAN TRANSMUTATION. The reason for this law could be the result of many incidents, but it could most directly be related to the law of equivalent exchange.

In FMA, the law of equivalent exchange rules over EVERYTHING alchemists do. In order to do something, something must be given in return. When the two main characters of the show, Ed and Alphonse Elric, attempt to bring their mother back from the dead, they cannot offer anything of an equivalent value. This results in Ed losing an arm and a leg and Al losing his entire body. Instead of their mom, they get an incomplete mass of limbs, gunk, and overall disgusting substances.

Yet in the FMA world, several homunculi exist, like Lust, Gluttony, Greed, etc. However, they are only able to exist because of something called a Philosopher’s Stone. The stone allows alchemists to partially bypass the law of equivalent exchange. How? Because the stone is made up of millions of souls. Those souls are used as payment instead of the user losing something.

Genshin Impact does not run on the same exact rules as FMA, but even in real life everything has an equal and opposite reaction. This logic applies to both of these worlds.

Now, I propose my theory:

Albedo is Rhinedottir’s creation made up of the souls of the people that died in Khaenri’ah.

We’ve already established Albedo as a homunculus and that in the FMA universe, immense sacrifice is required to create a homunculus. It’s not too far of a stretch to believe that Albedo was only created as a result of the destruction of Khaenri’ah.

“But what about the timeline?” Well I’m glad you asked, random person.

Given how Dainsleif has survived for over 500 years, is it really so unlikely that Rhinedottir also survived? And regarding Albedo’s age, the homunculi in FMA don’t age because their energy is powered by the Philosopher’s Stone, so why couldn’t Albedo work in the same way? Plus, maybe Rhinedottir found a way to store the souls from Khaenri’ah to use at a later date.

This could also explain Albedo’s fear of losing control on himself. At the very end of his story quest, he says, “If one day, I lose control... Destroy Mondstadt... Destroy everything... Can I rely on you to stop me?” If Albedo’s very existence stems from the deaths of many people, it’s no wonder he holds so much power. That, along with the dangerous form of alchemy he practices, spawns a high possibility for more death. 

FMA goes to great lengths to show how powerful the homunculi are, with each of them possessing a unique ability, like creating armor. Albedo may hold similar power, just we haven’t been able to see it yet.

With that fun theory out there, here are a few minor details to note.

In FMA, each homunculus has an ouroboros somewhere on their body that signifies their status as a homunculus. Here, we can see Greed’s tattoo.

Albedo also has a mark on him, on his neck.

Now this could just be a coincidence, but it’s still something fun to point out.

That concludes my theory! If you have any comments, questions, additions, corrections, clarifications, or anything to say, please let me know!

I hope this was enjoyable. Have a nice day!

[joy1579]

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.  

-        Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

-        In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

-        His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

-        That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

-        Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

-        You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

-        He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

-        He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

-        Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

-        “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

-        He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

-        He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

-        He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

-        Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

-        Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

-        “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

-        Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

-        “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

-        You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

-        He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

-        He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

-        You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

-        He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

-        If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

-        He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

-        He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

-        She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

-        Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

-        She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

-        She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

-        She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

-        You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

-        Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

-        Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

-        He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

-        He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

-        If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

-        He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

-        He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

-        Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

-        He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

-        protective and angry dad mode activated

-        threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

-        “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

-        He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

-        That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

Happy (Slightly Belated) Birthday, Baghdad Waltz!

*CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BAGHDAD WALTZ UP TO CHAPTER 37*

I know these are stressful times right now, but I wanted to post a little something for BW’s third birthday on 3/13/2020 (and I’m a little late because I had a lot to say). THREE!! I cannot believe it. Truly, I cannot, but here we are. I know there are still a few stragglers hanging around from when I first started posting this story (extra hearts to you all), so many people who have come and gone and sometimes return again, and so many new people joining this crazy journey all the time. 

You are all so great, and you make it possible for me to keep writing this. I probably would have quit a long time ago without your support, because this shit has been quite hard to sustain sometimes. I know I am very bad at keeping up with comments and things, and I’m so sorry.  I am terrible with social media, too. People IRL will say the same thing about me. I am super old school and still talk on the phone with my friends. I KNOW. 

(Heyyyy Bayside High)

I’ve prepared a couple of things for BW’s birthday. First, a few statistics I thought I’d whip up. Then a few questions and answers about BW, both from myself and from my beloved beta, @pitchforkcentral86​. And I’m still trucking away diligently at chapter 38! I just have a few scenes to go. 

 -- BW Statistics -- 

---------------------------------------------

Words to date: 526,011

Chapters to date: 37

Shortest chapter: 3,821 words (Prologue)

Longest chapter: 31,395 words (Chapter 33)

Number of words per chapter: 12,530 (median), 14,257 (average) (note: the median is probably a better measure, since this is such an abnormal distribution - see below for the changes in chapter length over time)

Estimated total work to date: 2,890-3,120 hours (approx 18-20 hours/week). This includes writing, rewriting, editing, research, conversations with beta, outlining, and a small portion of the brainstorming. This is a conservative estimate and only includes a fraction of the ambient thinking I do about this story. And God, I do so much processing when I sleep! Perhaps I will be a BW “expert” -- estimated at around 10,000 hours I guess? -- by the time I am done with the story and all my revisions hahahahaaaaaa D: 

Money spent to date (estimated): $600-700. This includes books on various subject matter and writing craft, video access to therapy education resources, and other educational materials. This does not include the incalculable sum in lost productivity from thinking about BW when I’m supposed to be doing other things!

Most of you probably don’t know this, but @pitchforkcentral86​ is not just a beta reader. She is my partner in crime with BW. She knows my characters as well as I do, sometimes better. She helps me troubleshoot scenes, she tells me when my writing sucks, when my I’m not being true to my characters, when I’m not being real enough (sometimes when I’m being TOO real). She gives me porn inspiration and listens to me bitch and calls my bullshit and makes this story what it is. I really mean it - this story would not be nearly as good without her, and you can see how much better it gets once she starts to get involved around chapter 17. 

So I decided I would answer some silly little questions about BW. Just my own personal opinions about stuff! And asked @pitchforkcentral86​ to contribute as well. See below. 

What are my favorite scenes in BW and why? 

In no particular order: 

The 9/11 memory (Chapter 26): When Steve is in therapy with Hope remembering when Bucky returns from Ground Zero. This was one of the first times I experimented with writing in a sort of stream-of-consciousness way (though certainly not the last!). I have done several tweaks to it since the original version, texturing it more. It’s so rich in detail, visceral detail, little details about their relationship, pieces of Bucky’s past, clues about his alcoholism, the way he handles stress, his difficulties letting Steve in, the love Steve has for him, Bucky’s need to be loved and cared for and his aversion for it, it’s so, so rich. Gah. I love it. (GUH and @buckydunpun​’s ART - just murder me. Thanks.)

The Thor “breakup” scene (Chapter 28): This is the moment I think that many people realized Bucky is not a reliable narrator. Maybe they suspected it before, but this is when it’s very obviously apparent. His entire interpretation of his relationship with Thor is thrown into question. He built a rich fantasy about what they were, holding hands in the grass, all this bullshit, and he could actually say they were boyfriends, which makes complete sense because there were never any stakes. It was always surface. There was never any intimacy except as veteran/soldier friends who had sex, which is about as deep as Bucky can go anyway without getting utterly terrified. 

This is in such stark contrast to Steve, where there is actual intimacy, ongoing demand for more intimacy, and this relationship feels VERY real to Bucky, and it’s very frightening to him. And that’s why he runs from the term “boyfriend” with Steve. It’s all so real. It’s easy to engage with a fake boyfriend. But still, he didn’t deliberately realize he was doing this, so it was devastating to find out the truth of his own self-deception. And to hear that he’s not the kind of guy you settle with, he’s the guy you fuck… wow. But how can you really hate Thor? (I’m sure some of you can but…) He’s a nice guy. Even Bucky knows it. So he’s run from something good and real (Steve) to something good but false (Thor) and then he gets rejected from both. It’s horrible and so self-defeating and so quintessentially Bucky. I love it. 

A Close Second (Spent Brass fic): This whole side fic came together like a glorious dream. I love everything about it. It’s such a wonderful look into their relationship, into their dynamics, into their individual personalities, their idiosyncrasies, so much push-pull between them. Whispers of things that have happened to Bucky in the past, a lack of understanding from Steve, a desire to know, so much affection. Some good sex. I love this SB. But I love all the Spent Brass fics. They are so close to my heart. 

Honorable mention: Bucky’s masturbation scene during his bender (Chapter 32). I had an absolute BLAST writing this. Thanks to @pitchforkcentral86​ for proposing that Bucky’s core sexual/romantic desire is just to be kissed. Dayum. It all unfolded from there. 

Who is the character I think about the most? Bucky. I think because he’s got the most complex history and the most complicated psychology. He’s actually fairly rule-bound in terms of how he operates, but he’s got a lot of back story that explains how he became the way he is, and I spend a lot of time considering what happened to him and how he developed his self-image, his coping strategies, and his ideas about others and the world. I think a lot about his relationship with his parents. I think a LOT about bby Jamie. It’s not because Steve is not important or any less complex. But Bucky’s childhood experiences have shaped him in very specific ways, and I want to make sure that I represent them very thoughtfully. 

Who is my favorite character to write? Bucky. His voice and thought processes come to me more easily than Steve’s. Perhaps in part because of my personal penchant for the word “fuck.” I love writing his perspective, his preferences, his interpretations of situations. I love imagining the way he imagines the world. 

Who is my favorite supporting character? Winnie. I know she’s a very polarizing character, but I have so much affection for her. I think she’s a badass. She joined the military as a female officer back in the 1970s, which is incredible and rough. She kept her maiden name. This is a Southern conservative woman, an Air Force brat, raised by very conservative Southern people in a very conservative Pentecostal church, but she has always had an irrepressible rebellious, feminist badass streak in her even before she knew what feminism was. She might not even define herself as a feminist now. She has always done the best she can under very difficult circumstances, and she loves her kids, even though she sometimes sucks quite badly at mothering them. I love her for her imperfections. 

Favorite topic to research this year: I’ve been really enjoying researching emotionally focused couples therapy, which was developed by Sue Johnson, EdD. I’ve been watching therapy videos of couples going through this and having a wonderful time imaging Bucky and Steve going through something similar with Claire. I don’t think Claire is the strictest adherent to EFT, but I think she’s informed by it. It’s tough, because I’m very used to cognitive behavioral type therapies, so this one has been different to think about writing. I’ve also been really getting into reading about childhood sexual abuse and its effects on boys and men. It’s greatly helped my conceptualization of Bucky and Bucky and Steve’s relationship. I mean, it’s a grim topic, but there have been some fascinating threads in terms of understanding one’s self perception of sexual orientation, etc. and thinking about how Bucky would consider and contextualize his experiences. 

Am I more of a Steve or a Bucky? Hmm. I don’t strongly relate to either, but I think if I had to choose, I’m a bit more of a Steve. I’m pretty expressive of my affection and positive emotions, and I’ll complain about daily life things enough. However, when it comes to major life events that really bother me, I tend to err on the side of not processing them and turning my feelings into headaches and other physical afflictions. In other words, I’m a suppressor of major emotions and events. It’s FINE. I’m FINE. Nothing to see here. But I am definitely not as tidy as Steve, nor as smart, and definitely not as buff or hot. So that’s where most of our similarities end lol. I do eat a lot of tofu though. 

Who would I want to hang out with for a day? I initially thought Rikki, but like @pitchforkcentral86​, think she’s actually too cool and smart for me, and I would probably just make an ass out of myself. I think probably Elektra. I know, this is a left field answer, but it’s one day! To do whatever with anyone! I want to choose someone who’s going to make it worth my while. So many of the characters are either too busy, too rigid, too anxious, too conventional, etc. I would want to run around NYC with Elektra for the day and have drinks with her and Matt afterwards at some weird-ass underground bar. My more infield answer would probably be Hank. I want him to tell me gay stories about gay things. I want to see his apartment. I want to drink coffee with him. I want him to tell me about what the AIDS crisis was like for him. I want to hear about his relationship with Howard. I want all the shit that Bucky takes for granted every day. He can be my fairy godmother any day. 

Who would I want to be friends with? Probably Sharon. She’s one of the most reliable, loyal, and level-headed people in this world. She’s smart, she’s flexible, she rolls with things pretty well but also doesn’t take a ton of bullshit. She also has a good sense of humor about things. I feel like she’s someone I could call with my Zack Morris phone and talk with for hours about all sorts of things. We could also split a bottle of wine and talk some real shit. 

Wait - Why not Bucky or Steve? I don’t think these two are entirely likable, to be honest. They’re good humans, they mean well, but I don’t think they’re very well equipped in the friendship department.  I care about them very deeply (I hope that’s clear), but I don’t know if I’d want to be particularly close to either of them at this point in their lives. They’re both lacking in the skill and perspective to be good friends and partners, which is a major reason why they are in therapy. 

Who would I want to be my therapist - Hope, Bruce, Scott, or Claire? Claire. Given how much I suck at talking about the things that are really deeply bothering me, I think I would need an emotionally focused therapist who is going to dig in there and really get me to focus on all the emotions I’m trying to shove away. I would probably try to over-intellectualize everything and deflect, and I don’t think she’d let me get away with that. 

Okay, on to @pitchforkcentral86​~~~~~

What are my favorite scenes in BW and why? 

Oh boy. Well, this is a difficult question to answer since it feels like every chapter becomes a new favorite simply due to sheer amount of time spent planning and composing and revising and whining and complaining. And also my memory sucks. BUT, with that said, I think I would like to mention three scenes specifically:

1)      Bucky on deployment, cleaning a Humvee (Chapter 7), Steve standing nearby. This scene conveyed the tension of deployment and between Steve and Bucky so well, and, perhaps more importantly, built my respect towards Bucky as a competent, caring NCO (to that effect, the small scene in which we see Bucky the NCO on film telling all the little grunts to eat so they can become big and strong is another favorite).

2)      Beautiful Boy (Spent Brass), Steve’s memory from childhood with Sarah at the park, naming animals. I really don’t have a good reason other than that scene was so clear to me in my mind and was especially tender.

3)      Steve sleeping with Sharon in DC (Chapter 33). Honestly, it was just a great scene, and we had a really good time planning it out.

I can include many more, and certainly the ones Dread mentioned are favorites too, but I have to stop or this will just be a squeee fest.

Who is my favorite supporting character?

 Hank. His particular brand of honesty is extremely appealing to me, and I think Bucky secretly, or not so secretly, loves him too. And also Quill, just for shits and giggles because he is reliably there as an ice breaker, that lovable Mountain-Dew-drinking goof.  

Favorite topic to research this year: 

Well, I don’t do the research myself, but I spend many, many m-a-n-y hours listening to and conversing with Dread about all the things he’s delved into for this fic. So I guess maybe I’ll turn this question into favorite topic to discuss/conceptualize. In that respect, Bucky’s and Jack’s relationship has been by far the most intriguing, grueling, fascinating and difficult aspect of this fic to conceptualize – those were some of the best talks in the process. [Dreadnought edit: You will see much more of this in future chapters, folks!] And for a fun answer, planning out sex scenes is hilarious.

Am I more of a Steve or Bucky?

Bucky, no doubt. Sometimes it feels like Dread has climbed into my brain, found a horrible nugget of truth about me, and then put it into words coming out of Bucky’s mouth. Those moments are both wonderful and terrible in equal measure.

Who would I want to hang out with for a day?

For a whole day? Can it maybe be a coffee or, like, a quick lunch? I honestly don’t know… Neither Steve nor Bucky will be very good company, I think. Not in their current versions, anyways. Rikki is hella cool but she intimidates me, so, not her. Um.. Huh. Nope, don’t have an answer.

Who would I want to be friends with?

Probably Hank, again. He has a really good attitude. I’m starting to feel like not picking Steve/Bucky is selfish because it’s like “oh, they have too many issues and it won’t be fun”. But it’s also true! Friendship is reciprocal, and I really don’t think that’s where they’re at. (But I would have totally been dying to be friends with Steve in his bookshop days). 

Who would I want to be my therapist - Hope, Bruce, Scott, or Claire?

Hope or Claire. Both are no-nonsense competent therapists. But I think maybe Hope will be too put-together for me. So, yeah, probably Claire. 

-----------------------------

Okay, everyone. Back to the grind. I’ll update as soon as I can!  Remember to wash your hands with the fastidiousness of BW Steve Rogers. (And also remember to sing the “happy birthday fucking everyone” song, which should actually be sung TWICE or resentfully enough that it lasts 20 seconds.)

[faketextsfromlastmight]

Best of tags #4

A compilation of my favorite reactions to this blog.

@kumaoftheforest on Mirio inheriting One for All : (Link)

I honestly feel like Mirio’s clothes would get blown off every time he’d us OFA

Best Jeanist could take him on as a sidekick: he repairs clothes, Mirio destroys them. Don’t forget to recycle, kids!

@utsushimi-camie on All for One being an illegal experiment on a live subject: (Link)

#this hilarious to me because i joke about quirk ethics laws all the time

Oh god, I would pay good money to watch a courtroom drama set in a super-powered universe. Can you imagine how busy the jurists must be in a society where people have different abilities yet supposedly are equal in the eyes of the law? They would have to write new rules whenever a new quirk manifested. Complete juridistical nightmare. I think Pixar’s “The Incredibles” kind of touched on that with citizens suing superheroes for destroying buildings while battling supervillains, but it’s framed as them being whiny. It’s a cop-out, in my opinion. The concept of superheroics is deeply problematic from a political and legal point of view, not to mention the issue of secret identities.

Granted, Horikoshi does seem to imply that the laws of BNHA’s universe are indeed complicated. There’s a lot of red tape in place to prevent people from using their quirks in key situations. Shinsou was not able to integrate the hero course because his quirk doesn’t work on robots, but one has to wonder if the entrance exam wasn’t planned to exclude people with mind-control quirks on design. It’s tough determining in which situations people ought to get robbed of their free will, so my guess is that U.A. High saved itself the headache and made sure people like Shinsou failed the exam. Shady.

It’s also apparent in the Stain arc when the police conveniently decides to cover up the way Todoroki, Iida and Midoriya illegally used their quirks. It’s completely absurd that these young people would be punished for arresting a serial killer, so law enforcement agrees to look the other way. But that implies they also do that in certain circumstances for some of their men, which has unfortunate implications. Do the policemen in BNHA’s universe routinely use their quirks even though they’re not allowed to? Urgh.

There are a LOT of things wrong with the superheroic system as it stands today. Gran Torino even admits that he got his hero license so he could use his quirk more freely and that he doesn’t do actual hero work. Apparently no one is supervizing him. The more you look at it, the more you realize that people like Endeavor and (early-series) Bakugou are not exceptions. They’re the extreme examples of the worst behaviors the system encourages.

@meowmeowmin on Todoroki trying to bond with a fly: (Link)

Flies only live for 24 hours

Don’t tell him that! Do you want the entire area to get frozen?

@bandanagiggle on Kaminari buying a vuvuzela: (Link)

Ms Joke sold it to him

The fiend! Worse part is, she told him to serenade Jirou with it.

@iputthepaininpainting​ on a Todoroki/Bakugou household wife swap: (Link)

Actually I can see this being very good. Bakugo's dad has a nice cup of tea w/ Todoroki's mom so they can talk about how much they love their sons while Mitsuki puts the fear of god in Endeavor!! Good stuff!!!

Let’s hope the children aren’t involved in this, actually. Shouto is very reserved so Mitsuki would always assume he’s sulking or hiding something. Bakugou’s constant temper tantrums would also be difficult for Rei to handle given her aversion to violence. Or maybe I’m being too harsh on Bakugou? He canonically knows she has mental problems, so I imagine he’d make an effort to be less abrasive around her.

That being said, Mitsuki may make Endeavor even worse. The last thing he needs to learn is how to replace his illegal, horrific abusive behavior with socially accepted, casual corporal punishment. Mitsuki is problematic but only insofar as the way she treats Bakugou is something society accepts. Bakugou is violent because he was raised in an environment where violence is a tolerated form of expression. The way she educates her son is terrible but it’s fair to remember that no one really taught her any better (not even her husband).

@pikazuku on Bakugou’s hug deception: (Link)

#This could go two ways#I don't know which one is the true route

When I wrote this I intended Bakugou to actually be sick. So he’s contaminating Deku on purpose and sparing Kirishima. It’s funnier that way, at least in my opinion.

@jukeydragon on Toga being the only girl in the League of Villains: (Link)

#but#uraraka#what bout magne?

I’m assuming you haven’t read the later chapters of the manga.

LIGHT SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 OF “MY HERO ACADEMIA”:

Without explaining things in too much details, the League of Villains experience some changes in staff management to the point that Magne is no longer considered part of the League. That’s why Uraraka referred to Toga as “the only girl” in this post.

@pinkcandyphoenix on Midnight curing Eraserhead’s insomnia : (Link)

#Actually a Eraser head and midnight friendship would be really cute and wholesome#Bnha#I am tempted to write about it

As a dominatrix, Midnight is tough on crime and punishes any misbehavior in the strictest way imaginable. Eraserhead would definitely respect that. She falls into the same mold as Present Mic in that she looks like a buffoon but is actually very efficient and professional.

@hotforhandman on All For One being a better father figure than Shigaraki: (Link)

#😂😂😂 I don’t think afo is a good dad but this is funny

If All For One were a good dad, he would have told Tomura Shigaraki about chapstick. Joke aside, I do think that the worst aspects of Shigaraki’s personality (namely his petulance) were actually encouraged by All For One. He needs him to remain in a child-like state because his arrested development is deeply rooted in his devotion to his “Teacher”. The risk being that if Shigaraki matures, he might develop ideas of his own.

That’s probably why All For One is secretly satisfied to be in prison right now. Now that they’re separated, Shigaraki can grow as a leader without any risk of disagreeing with his mentor. In fact, his efforts to free All For One from prison will only make him more devoted. All For One needs Shigaraki to idealize him, not to see him for the piece of garbage he really is. Throughout the series we see that he actually remains pretty distant and communicates with Shigaraki through conference calls, which might be on design. He can’t let his pupil too close to him or the illusion of “good parenting” might be broken. The distance keeps Shigaraki yearning for his approval and affection.

@zerounitrgb on my answer to @eva-white-11‘s criticism: (Link)

I am... really tired of people interpreting everything as romantic/friendship. They didn’t choose their pairings, they stayed together because who splits up during an attack, and you’re right, Toko would probably go crazy for anyone that saved him and got hurt in the process. Not to mention Shouji is training to be a hero so he... you know... did his JOB.

Yes. That’s also why I have my own difficulties with Ochako/Bakugou and Todoroki/Yaoyorozu. I recognize that both boys acknowledged the girls were very good in combat and clever, but that’s not a compliment, that’s a fact. They’re just giving credit where credit is due. Although in Bakugou’s case Horikoshi was probably making a commentary on sexism (with Bakugou treating Ochako as an opponent first and a girl second), people tend to interpret them as him teasing a possible romantic connection. And that’s what unnerves him, actually; that our culture is so sexist that a man acknowledging a woman’s competence is automatically interpreted as romantic interest, because why would a guy compliment a girl on anything if he wasn’t trying to get into her pants?

My gripes end there. I actually like both ships, I just have issues with people presenting these interactions as “canonical” proof that Horikoshi is teasing anything romantic between these people. Characters compliment each other A LOT in “My Hero Academia”, it takes more than that to establish a relationship.

[aion-rsa]

Major Batman Character Dies in New DC Comic

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A major change to the Batman status quo may change Bruce Wayne's life forever.

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This Batman article contains MAJOR SPOILERS.

The release of Batman #77, the third part of the climactic "City of Bane" arc, has some...very big changes for Batman’s friends and family. In fact, this may be the big status quo change writer Tom King teased a few months back, a change he was surprised DC was even allowing him to make.

Naturally, we're about to head into heavy spoiler territory. Seriously, if you haven't read the issue yet, it's best you leave now. Okay, ready?

Alfred’s dead. Or at least, so it seems.

“City of Bane” is the arc where Bane’s big plan stretching back over three-plus years of King's Batman stories comes to fruition. He hasn’t broken Batman’s body this time. Instead, he broke his will, taking Batman’s city from him and ruling it (with an outside Year of the Villain assist from Lex Luthor) alongside most of Batman’s rogues. The Riddler and the Joker are his police force, and his enforcers are Flashpoint Batman and Gotham Girl. And his insurance policy against any heroes trying to dethrone him? Alfred Pennyworth, held captive and under threat of death if any heroes attempt to even enter Gotham.

One of them does in this issue - Damian, the arrogant son of the Bat, bursts into Gotham, takes down Gotham Girl, Scarecrow, and Mr. Zzasz before falling at the hands of his Flashpoint grandfather. Damian is then forced to watch as Bane snaps Alfred’s neck, all while the villain declares Gotham his city. (With Bruce's father figure now dead, Damian becomes the next hostage whose life is at stake.)

This is a shock, to say the least, but it’s also comics. King’s Mister Miracle was a masterpiece, but it was also packed with plot and perspective ambiguity, and we still don’t have a definitive answer about what precisely happened to Scott Free (this is, of course, the point of the book and part of why it’s a masterpiece, but that’s neither here nor there). The point here is there are a thousand ways this could be undone in issue 78 alone.

But...it feels pretty real.

Further Reading: Batman Celebrates 80 Years - Why the Dark Knight Still Matters

It feels real not only because of how it’s presented. Clayface might have been able to mimic the sound effect, or it could have been a really brittle android or Flashpoint Alfred, but it’s too graphic to not be true. It would lose some of its punch.

And the punch is the point. King is one of the most successful (and strictest) formalists in comics today. The form of a story is often as important to understanding it as the plot is. So it’s worth looking back at the three and a half years that brought us to this point.

The first year was spent putting the pieces on the board, a prologue to introduce the main characters of the story with a hint at the main plot. “I am Gotham” introduced this version of Batman and a new character for him to project his own sense of tragedy on. “I Am Suicide” brought Catwoman and Bane in to kick off the main conflict. “I Am Bane” defined the terms of the relationship, and “The Button” started to present the central thesis of the run: Can Bruce Wayne be happy as Batman?

“The Button” transitioned into the War of Jokes and Riddles, where Batman laid himself bare before Catwoman in an attempt to find a way for both sides of his life to be happy and maintain an equilibrium. When she said yes to his proposal, “Rules of Engagement” started socializing their relationship around the DC universe, establishing this Batman’s place with the other heroes and building social ties for them as a couple (that could later be ripped away). Year two ends with a glimpse of the trouble to come - the Poison Ivy and Booster Gold stories worked as lead-ins to Heroes in Crisis, but also as reminders of the trauma lurking everywhere in the superhero life.

Year three is all about tearing hunks off of Batman. First, he loses Catwoman to Bane at the wedding. Then the Twelve Angry Batmen story (the INCREDIBLE Lee Weeks/Mister Freeze courtroom drama) takes Batman’s infallibility. Then KGBeast takes Dick Grayson from him. The Penguin shows him that he lost these things to Bane. The Scarecrow strips away his pretense in “Knightmares,” and Flashpoint Dad even tries to take his raison d’etre as Batman by giving him back his family in “The Fall and the Fallen.”

Year four is about the comeback. While all of this is going on in Gotham, Catwoman has come back to him, helping him recover from his ordeal in the desert with his dad before heading back into the city. Alfred and possibly Damian may be taken from him, but even with this unspeakable and graphic tragedy, the story has started to turn.

The best Batman stories peel back all the layers of the character one at a time and examine them before piecing him back together with something new for the next creators to play with. Scott Snyder did it with his Joker stories and the extended run with Gordon and his Bat-Appleseed mech. Grant Morrison did it with Batman’s wacky history and the power of friendship. You can even see that structure as far back as “Knightfall.” The only outstanding question regarding King’s run right now is if Alfred is one of the pieces that gets put back.

Jim Dandy is a freelance contributor. You can read more of his work here.

Read and download the Den of Geek SDCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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News Jim Dandy

Aug 21, 2019

DC Entertainment

Batman

Tom King

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