#(using my moms ipad rn i found stored away she keeps it hidden so i cant use it lol)
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ladies i had a #actuallyborderline moment last night. not proud but im a girl so
#literally so i left my phone and laptop and charger at my bfs house last night but didnt realize till we pulled up to my house.....panic mod#so im like beggijng him to turn around but hes refusing bc its nearly 10 pm and he has to get up at 4 for work. like i understand this.....#when im rational....#so im hearing kill bill sirens and im like whatever okay guess you fucking hate me and want me to suffer then???#go inside and my mom starts belittling me (telling me im gross/to get my life together/reminding me ive accomplished nothing/etc)#very triggering shit too etc etc from when i was a kid ..... managed to use her phone for 5 min to call my bf and beg him again for my stuff#hes in bed and is like angry telling me what is going on tumblr that important??? what else are you using it for#im liek im FUCKING COPING.......#mom now is demanding phone back and its jst like being in middle school again lol im crying and bugging#listens to my mom mock and laugh at me while im having a full blown meltdown#in the dark in my room wirth no access to any of my safest coping skills....so guess what i did#took a whole bunch of bennys and a few DMX pills and drank cough syurp LOLLLLL#screamed into my pillow and cried a while until i just passed out#like literally all because i couldnt go on the internet till 11 am today.#(using my moms ipad rn i found stored away she keeps it hidden so i cant use it lol)#****DXM pills
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