#(though. the true irony is that since she's my self insert it's really just me making fun of myself but shhhh)

[relicsongmel]

Dena. Sweetie.

Pot, kettle.

[masterhandss]

Hamefura Idol AU!

No one on tumblr really knows it but... I love idols, like idol animes and games are my childhood and has eaten away at my very soul. I like drawing and imagining idol aus for pretty much any show I get into, and sadly hamefura isn’t gonna be an exception to that :P

(i’ve yet to draw for my dumb au so have a placeholder image from an upcoming anthology by @/relaxmakoto)

Instead of being isekai-ed to a bootleg PS4 otome game, our monkey girl gets reincarnated into “Fortune Lover: Cinderella Idol!���, an idol-production rhythm game (help me i’m bad a choosing names).

(Long post, I’m basically gonna retell the entire game in an idol setting lol. I only wanted to draw for this au, but thinking about plot and gameplay was too fun so I wanted to share it)

The Game

The original game’s story follows Maria Campbell, the main character of the game who applied for a job in Sorcier Productions after seeing a wanted ad online. By some luck, she gets hired as a temp-producer for the famous male idol group “Fortuna”. After a few hours of gameplay involving producing the male idols (Gerald, Keith, Alan and Nicol) through the game’s tutorial (introducing various aspects of the gameplay like “Choosing your Idol”, “Getting Relationship Points”, “Rhythm Game Concert Mode”, “Idol Produce Mode”, “TV Drama Mode” etc), the game reveals the plot twist of the game: Not just the male idols, but you get to also idol-produce yourself!

By the outcome of various events, Maria ends up performing in the stead of another idol during a mini concert that she escorts the boys with, and immediately stole the hearts of the audience by her beauty and hidden talents! M.C. is actually the first idol in the “Self-Produced Idol” project, one that aims to determine and bring out the full talents of an idol by exposing them to all the in outs of the idol world. Maria ends up becoming quite known very quickly, being rumored as a “Cinderella” of the idol world (In sports, the term Cinderella is used to refer to situations in which competitors achieve far greater success than would reasonably have been expected, rather than the typical meaning of Cinderella which means “damsel”). This rumor leads her to the anti-hero rivals for Maria (who ends up joining you in the game as idols you can produce), the perfect idol Mary Hunt and the “rarely appears publicly despite her talents” Sophia Ascart.

They start out as rivals for the game but ends up becoming friends with you and becoming produce-able idols like the 4 boys. You can even form a trio unit with the girls if you have enough relationship points (when your trio unit “Amour” is unlocked, you get more events, songs and outfits for you and the two girls!). But the true antagonist of the game is Katarina Claes, a boastful and prideful newbie idol who joined a few months before Maria, who earned a fan base thanks to her confidence and mature style. She doesn’t have the best voiced or is very skilled at dancing, but her confidence and ideals draws people to love her for her unique character. Katarina lacks self-awareness though, and thinks that she is the jack of all trades when it comes to being an idol, thus leading her to have an unbelievable amount of self confidence when it comes to her popularity and skills. She despises Maria Campbell because of how much the articles praise her for her charm and adorable singing, as she thinks that Maria is nothing more than a wannabe that doesn’t know the harsh reality of the idol world (the irony of that is an important aspect of the game’s story, since Katarina is overly reliant on her producer Anne, and Maria is the one who works both as an idol and as a producer).

Maria doesn’t really play much into the “self-insert” protagonist, more like an involved protagonist like Izumi from A3 that plays an important role into the story. The player does get to choose Maria’s (and everyone else’s) songs, schedules, outfits etc. by the guise that you are Maria, working as both an idol and as a producer.

The game does have a “relationship points” system, which means you can actually date one of the boys form Fortuna (secretly). Even if you don’t intentionally date anyone, the game already does play the “you, the main character, are so important and they wouldn’t know what to do if you weren’t here” agenda that most games have, so the game already makes all the love interests seem interested with you regardless of whether you actively target Gerald, Keith, Alan or Nicol.

Katarina’s Bad End

(Rather than the life threatening doom flags of FL) In the game, Katarina Claes constantly sabotages Maria’s events and performances, creating the conflict in the “story mode” and the “events” of the game. Near the end of the game, the character who has the highest relationship points with Maria will reveal Katarina’s awful treatment of Maria in public, ruining Katarina’s reputation and causing her to lose public opinion and fans

Sabotaging fellow idols is actually quite common in idol stories, but the extent that Katarina goes for her bullying is terrible, which shocks the public because that side of the idol world had never been put into the forefront before. While Katarina does have an arrogant and prideful personality, learning that she, who didn’t have the cleanest reputation in the first place, has been harassing the darling of the idol world, meant that shows, programs, radios and events didn’t hire or invite Katarina anymore in fear of loss in sales or public outrage, leading to her eventual downfall.

The final event of the game, the Idol Queen Tournament, Katarina performs despite her ruined reputation, and was met with almost no response from the audience. Realizing that her life as an entertainer is ruined, she quits and vanishes from the public eye.

It is said in the epilogue that she moved into the country side, by a small farming field, shunned by her parents and the public for her embarrassing behavior, in order to repent and look back on her actions, much to her anger and disapproval.

The degree of Katarina appearances and story events differ depending on which male idol love interest Maria has the highest points in. Katarina is most active if you are closer to Gerald, as she is madly inlove with him and only became an idol to be by his side (as Gerald won as the “Idol King” of that year, and Katarina aimed to be his “queen”). Katarina is also frequently present in Keith’s events and interactions, as she makes fun of the both of you for being a disgrace as idols. She also appears on Alan and Nicole, but not as much.

“Fortuna” and “Amour”

Fortuna, the most popular male idol group during that time, and Amour the all-new girls idol unit, are the “produced” characters of the game

(i’m bad at thinking at idol group names so those are placeholders lol)

Gerald Stuart is a child actor known for being a perfectionist. Even as a child, he had a good face, pose, fashion sense, perfect memory, amazing acting talent and charisma to carry himself infront of a crowd. He became an idol in hopes of escaping the endless sea of acting offers he gets, and to just starve off a bit of his boredom and free time. He ends up becoming interest in their new producer Maria, due to her unique circumstance and how hard working and earnest she is. Idols are known for being prohibited from dating, but in the Gerald Ending Epilogue, he proudly announces Maria as the woman of his affections and deeply apologizes to all his rabid fans and supporters, and hopes to gain their support for his feelings for her. The two are crowned the “Prince and Princess” of the idol world for that decade.

Keith Claes is an adopted son of the Claes Household. He was bullied by his sister and mother, making him feel alone and isolated as a child. In his teens, he became a handsome playboy that easily caught the hearts of a female crowd, leading him to be scouted by someone in Sorcier Productions. He accepted, wanting to use the love of a huge fanbase to drown himself with praise and adoration and to fill the hole in his heart from years of trauma and loneliness.

Keith attempted to flirt with his new young producer, but gets constantly rejected due to the idea that idols can’t date (and bc Maria is just so busy), making him crave Maria’s attention even more. He ends up respecting her diligence, intelligence, beauty and honesty, making him slowly fall inlove with her. In the Keith Ending Epilogue, Keith confesses to Maria and wants to date her, but knows that he can’t just let go of the fans that he gained from his playboy persona, so instead he gives her a promise ring, telling Maria that when their whole “idol” thing is over with and pass them, he hopes to be able to date her (and even marry her) for real one day without a fanbase that might attempt to seperate them.

Alan Stuart is the twin brother of Gerald, who is often compared to his twin brother due to his lack of acting and entertainment skills. Alan does however, have a deep love for music. He might not be as good with instruments as his brother, but unlike Gerald, he truly loves composing and performing music and finds solace in the melodies that he can convey. Alan ends up becoming an idol due to his love for music, with the desire to one day use the connections he can make as an idol to become a full-time composer and song writer (as well as to generally learn how to sing bc he secretly likes that too). Alan also wanted to be an idol as a way to compete with his brother in an area that he is more knowledgeable on.

Throughout Alan’s encounters with Maria, he ends up rejecting Maria’s friendship and praises due to his inferiority with his brother. Through time, Maria’s constant praises of Alan’s music and singing ends up resonating with him, leading up to her telling him that he shouldn’t compare himself to his twin brother and there are only things that he is good at, like his music. Maybe a line like “Not even Gerald can recreate the melodies that you write and compose, Alan! These scores are very Alan-like, and there’s nothing I’d rather listen to; nothing that warms my heart more. This is something only you can do, as Alan and no one else” does him in.

In the Alan Ending Epilogue, he admits that his heart isn’t ready for a relationship yet, but declares that he wants to be with Maria forever and that from the moment Maria started to make an impact in his life, she had become the “Aria” of his music, and that he wants her to know that he will always write his music with his love for her in mind. He wants to be able to convey his love for her through song one day, and he hopes that she will continue to love him until he finds the right words to sing.

Mary Hunt is the daughter to a famous businessman and politician, who has connections to the Stuart Family. She met Alan by accident, during the dinner party in her house for his father’s birthday. Mary was hiding in her beloved garden, and had encountered Alan who had done the same, before she could retreat to her safe haven. She was in awe as she watched Alan play and sing a song in his small guitar, almost thinking that the song was for her. They ended up singing in a duet, with Alan complimenting her voice, saying that she should develop it. Mary instantly fell inlove with Alan, and had trained herself in the same musical arts that Alan loved, especially the voiced that he had complimented, in order to one day become worthy of performing by his side. She had originally assumed that Alan wanted to perform for an opera or musical, but when she found out that Alan wanted to become an idol, she auditioned to Sorcier Pro. as fast as she could.

In Alan’s ending, Mary was very heartbroken to know that she could not be the one to stay by her beloved Alan’s side, but silently thanked Maria for breaking Alan free from the inner turmoils that Mary knew was an impossible job for her. Despite her feelings, she still wanted to sing by Maria’s side and congratulates the two with all of her heart.

Nicol Ascart is the son to the esteemed Ascart Family, owner of the Ascart Inc., one of the major sponsors for Sorcier Productions. Nicol has been a child model and was popular since childhood because of his beautiful face. He doesn’t talk much, so when someone has filmed him singing to himself in the hallways in highschool, it immediately went viral, causing various scouts to offer him a role as an idol. Nicol had only accepted his request due to the circumstances of his little sister, Sophia.

Sophia Ascart is born with unique features, leading to her being bullied and made fun of in public due to her stage appearance. Sophia has always loved idols, being envious of their ability to enchant a crowd and sing songs about their feelings out loud. She had a sweet voice and an adorable face, but her hair and eyes caused people to think of her as a freak. She wanted to become one, but knew it would impossible for her. Nicol decided to use his popularity to jump-start Sophia’s possible idol career, by trying to brainwash/persuade his fans to also love Sophia (when she first joined and started as an idol). It didn’t work on everyone, but he was determined to help his sister.

When Maria befriends and even starts a unit with Sophia, Nicol eventually fell for the woman who made both his and Sophia’s wish come true. There’s also the fact that as their producer, Maria became a true friend of Nicol’s, one that didn’t look at him with obsessive desire and only wanted nothing more than to be a friend and an ally.

In the Nicol Ending Epilogue, he quits being an idol due to his desire to eventually join his father in the family business, much to the disappointment of his fans, but promises to always watch Maria from the side lines. He would always send bouquets almost everyday, with small cards giving the declarations of love that he normally wouldn’t be able to vocalize. He thanks her for supporting both him and his little sister, and promises to jump to her side once she is done being an idol.

Bakarina

As usual, Katarina ends up remembering her future as an 8 year old kid, and plans to prepare for her future “banishment” and humiliation. She learns to farm in order to provide for herself once she gets shunned and retreats to the countryside, and (unknowingly) meets all the characters in the game and gains their good favor before the events of the game begins

I’ll write the rest of the plot involving reincarnated!Katarina next time lol :P

This au is obviously heavily influenced by a lot of the Idolmaster console and mobile games, Ensemble Stars, A3, Vocaloid Project Diva games, Aikatsu etc lol. Thanks to anyone who gets to read till the end. Feedback (and name suggestions) are very appreciated! Hamefura is still a small fandom so idk if i’d write for this au, but it’s a good enough excuse to draw the girls in cute idol clothes so i’ll take it XD)

[quicklyseverebird]

Why I became politically activated (agitated), or why I became a Trump supporter.

All the cards on the table, I doubt anyone will read this, especially anyone to whom it might make a difference or change a mind.  This is a textual equivalent to shouting into the wind, and at the moment of writing these words, I don’t even know if I will post them anywhere.  Yet I find clarity in writing things out, and in light of the state of our country, I want to organize my stream of consciousness to see why and how I got here, to where I stand now, at this point of time.

I used to pride myself on my lack of political involvement.  I used to all but sneer when people got all worked up about political issues.  Such things were distant and had no seeming impact on my life, though I did my civic duty and voted whenever possible, because that’s what you do in a republic, and you have no right to complain about the results if you did nothing to affect them.

So, when Trump first mentioned that he was running for president, I just rolled my eyes and chuckled like anyone else.  He was vain, self-promoting and way too quick on the Twitter finger.  He’s no one I would want to have over for dinner, but now I’m glad he won and I hope he wins again.  I don’t think anyone else’s ego would have been able to weather the storm we’ve gone through over the past 4 years.  Especially not a politician, who survives mainly by going wherever the wind of public opinion blows.

But I’m not a Republican, so I can’t vote in their primaries, so when he rose to the top, I was as surprised as anyone else.  So, who was my other option?

Hillary Clinton, the poster child of political corruption and cronyism, whose scandals and crimes make a bigger volume than all the books she’s written explaining(complaining) about her loss.

2016 is when I had my political awakening and started to really look around at what was happening in the culture around me.  Perhaps it was because I was a parent to a child on the cusp of adolescence who would soon start to be immersed in it.  What I saw terrified me.

America had a rising group of Nazis infiltrating our culture.  And I don’t mean the stereotypical skin heads we all revile and view with disgust.  And I don’t mean the paltry 10-11k white supremacists in our country of 365 million (per Anti-defamation League data).  No one took them all that seriously, because their bigotry was all too obvious, easily exposed, and they were, quite frankly, too few to matter.

No, I mean a real group of extremists who were Nazi’s in all but name.  Who actually made a point of labeling anyone who disagreed with them a Nazi, in fact.  Who with seeming ignorance of the historical irony of their actions, re-enacted every deed performed by the black and brown shirts of pre-WWII fascist Europe.  They worked to shut down free speech (of anyone whose position differed from their own), attacked and intimidated anyone who challenged them with threats physical, verbal, professional and political, advocating literal book burning, public destruction of property, and most sneaky of all, enacting a new form of acceptable racism into a form that some have compared to a state-sponsored cult or religion.  I saw the blossom in 2016, and now I am seeing the fruit.

A couple weeks ago, I watched, in horror, live on television as the Krystal Naught was reenacted in my own city and cities across the country.  Since then I’ve seen these groups claim territory, terrorize and destroy businesses and residents’ homes.  Most often—again in seeming unconscious irony—those belonging to the very people they claimed to be fighting in support of.  The term terrorist is apt, as well as zealot.  They subvert groups of well-meaning people to their own political ends and rain down terror on anyone who disagrees with them, up to and including actual physical harm, and provoking situations that wind up in death.

They are left wing, just as the Nazi’s were, born from a communist/Marxist foundation with an emphasis on race, instead of class, as their dividing point.  It’s not the proletariat and bourgeoisie anymore, it’s <insert minority group> vs white.  The irony that most of these individuals are themselves, white, seems—of course—to be lost on them.  Fascism is socialism with a nationalistic and racial focus.  It was invented by a student of Marx as a way of making socialism feasible.  Apart from the nationalistic bent, this group follows the same formula.  Anyone who disagrees with them is a Nazi or some kind of “-ist” or “-phobic.”  It’s a marvelous rhetorical device.  Say you’re not racist, well that that’s proof that you are!  Try and bring up a factual point that disagrees with them, and they slap you with a label and claim through intersectionality politics that they don’t have to listen to you or any facts you might have to offer because you are from the “wrong group.”  They only have to listen to details or views on an issue from a group appointed and designated by their ideology.  No one else could ever offer a differing position.  And those from the group in question who DO disagree with them?  Well obviously, they are “race traitors” and their views don’t matter either.  After all, a person is only a part of the “right group” if they agree with these people.  If this took place in Nazi Germany, they would have been called “Jew-lovers.”  I’ve literally watched people of color assaulted, abused, called racial slurs, by white people.  (yes, there’s that irony again.)  I’ve watched POC being told by these individuals, unaware of their actual skin color, to check their white privilege because obviously they have to be white if they disagree with their position.  I see this inherent and rampant racism every time I post my own views and watch as people assume I’m a white man because…I hold the “wrong view.”  Why would race even matter to whether or not what is being said is true or accurate, unless you're a racist?  They have all their groups in neat and tidy boxes, with their assigned positions and “proper,” “permitted” viewpoints and anyone straying from the herd must be culled.  I’ve watched them tear down statues of the men who gave them their rights, and statues of the men who freed slaves or died to free them, even black heroes!  They’ve torn down statues built to commemorate abolitionists in the name of…racism…  They paint a street, claiming that it is free speech, but when someone else paints on the same street, it’s a hate crime.

They are, in fact, the most racist people in our country, and they revel in it because they feel it’s justified.  Place any of these people in Nazi Germany and they would be chomping at the bit alongside the Fuhrer at the "outrages" the Jewish race had inflicted on their country and the "privileges" they possessed.  Their racism is “justified!”  It is “right!”  I have no doubt that, if our skin color didn’t already distinguish us from one another, the mobs roaming our cities now would be demanding something akin to pink triangles or stars of David be worn by the designated parties.  We can see their racism clearly wherever they find a position of power and are allowed to organize themselves.  We watched an utterly self-unaware Chaz/Chop re-institute Jim Crow laws and create race-designated locations, parks, gardens, etc.  Whenever they find themselves in power, they organize themselves along racial lines.  Given enough time, they would probably have created separate bathrooms and drinking fountains.

Like the Nazi’s of Germany, they thrive on division and fear.  It gave the Germans a sense of purpose and pride coming out of the Great Depression following WWI.  In today’s world, they never would have risen so far or so fast if not for the economic devastation following Covid-19 and the many frustrated, unemployed, frightened people it left in its wake.

And they do it all in the name of “racial” or “social” justice, and justify their rampant racism that way. They excuse their racism in the name of…racism.  It leaves one wondering if these are either the most historically ignorant and self-unaware people in human history, or if they are literally evil.  And I don’t use the term evil hyperbolically.  I don’t mean mustache-twirling villains in black.  No one really evil believes they are evil.  The Devil himself thought his actions justified.  Evil always justifies itself, masks itself as good, and this allows them to do even greater harm, for no one does more damage than an intellectual fool who believes they are doing the right thing.  The only thing greater than mankind’s tendency towards evil is our ability to convince ourselves that it is good.  And oh, they lie, and they lie, and they lie.  They lie about events where they were the aggressors.  They lie and even post videos of the event proving they are lying, boasting about their lies, because they know that they won't be held accountable, and their lie is being spread faster than the truth, and the people in authority will allow this.  Far from being counter-cultural, they are now a state-sponsored, state-supported non-theistic religion.  The similarities with a cult are creepy.

The truth is, they aren't interested in eliminating racism. In fact, as we can see from these protests, they make racism worse!  And they do so deliberately.  Why?  Because they aren't interested in lives, no matter the color.  They aren't interested in actual justice.  More black lives alone have been killed by these protests, by actual BLM and Antifa people, than unarmed black men were killed by cops across the country in all of 2019.  Perhaps we should defund/disband them.  They are militarizing racism the same way the Nazi's did, to gain power.  It's not about lives, it's not about actual violence or inequality, it's about the Movement. It's about gaining power and influence in society.  And it is working the same way it did back in Germany.  When you have literally white, leftist people attacking and calling black people racial slurs because they don't agree with their positions, and then claiming they are against racism....

So, let’s see here.  We have an international organization born from the German Communist Party, with localized cells but a unified ideology, cooperative networks, shared finances, a common uniform, trademarked logos and merchandise, who ferment racial tensions to gain political power, create divisions between communities, seek to destroy anyone who would stand in their way through threat of violence and intimidation, destroy history, hide in screens of “useful idiots” seeking to be a part of a cause that they stir into “protests” so they can create further unrest and violence, all so they can gain power for their ideology.  And all the while, claiming to be the victims of the people they attack so they can claim the moral high ground.  Self-defense in the face of the mob is “racist.”  Protecting your property is a sign of “privilege” that must be purged, even as they loot, burn, destroy homes and businesses of the people whose lives they claim to want to protect.  

Explain to me how, exactly, they aren’t exactly like the Nazi’s before the rise of Hitler?  They are a socialist organization, with a racial element that use intimidation, threats of violence, doxing, actual violence and harm to anyone who disagrees with them or stands in their way to gain political and social power.  A literally evil ideology that has caused more death and suffering to mankind than any other in history, that has failed everywhere it was implemented.

And all the while the media propaganda praises them, just as they did Hitler (who himself won Time’s Man of the Year award, recall).

If you want to know if you are one of the good guys, then ask, which side supports freedom of speech?  Which supports liberty?  Which side doesn't advocate for violence as a means to their ends?  Which side are literally attacking their opponents?  Are people better off when you are in control, or not?  I think we can look at the smoldering ruins of our cities to decide where these extremists stand.

So, why did I become politically activated/agitated?  It wasn’t some YouTube channel “radicalizing” me.  I am not a MAGA fanatic or Trump fan.  What motivated me was seeing the rise of a new, evil authoritarian power in America.  They wear a different mask, but their actions speak for themselves.  They are the REAL neo-Nazis.  It doesn’t matter what they call themselves now.  You can change your name, but your deeds remain.  Your title doesn’t define you; your actions do.  If it quacks like a duck….  The Right didn’t pull me to their side, you on the left drove me here in fear for my life and the future of this country.  The fear is only growing now as I see official after official bow (sometimes literally) to these groups.  If they gain any more political power, I shudder to think of the world my daughter will inherit.  Will she be the new Anne Frank?  The Right isn’t the one making threats or calling me names if I disagree with them.  You are.  They don’t threaten my life or my family’s future.  You do.  They aren’t the people approaching with devastation in their wake.  You are.  You activated me.  I can only hope enough other people will see you for what you are and be activated as well.  God help us all if you ever gain power.  Some of them are literally already calling for anyone who disagrees with them to be imprisoned in "re-education" camps.  No lie.  This cannot happen.  Never again.

[jackoshadows]

Say what you will about Sansa in the show, even though I disagree and think she’s an awesome character and is one of my faves in the show. But what’s with the bashing of Sansa in the books? She’s also a great main character in them. She’s compassionate, intelligent and her inner strength after enduring horrible abuse for the past few years is admirable. I’m excited to see how her arc will go in Winterfell.

I mean, that’s my subjective opinion about a fictional character based on her relatability, characteristics and actions in the books. People are allowed to not like characters right? And IMO, my posts on book Sansa are not exactly ‘bashing’ - rather, its about the actual character in the books versus a fanon made up version of her that some of her fans keep stating as fact. If you think talking about GRRM’s Sansa is ‘bashing’ …. well then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The reason I end up writing so much about Sansa is because her fans keep insisting on shoving her into everything, making the story all about her, insert her into relationships where she does not belong, take away from other characters to give to her etc. This has had the unfortunate side effect of me writing quite a few Sansa posts, the irony of which has not been lost to me 😂

My rambling thoughts on book Sansa under the cut…

I don’t even really dislike Sansa in the books. I have quite a few mutuals and people I follow who love book Sansa and her story and that’s totally fine. Different tastes and all that. And while I loathe the badly written Mary Sue propped up by other characters on the show, I am indifferent to book Sansa. I found her annoying and unrealistically naive in the first book and boring in the later ones. Tbh, I could not care less about the Vale Lords or Sansa organizing feasts in the Vale. I don’t think she’s all that important in the books in the grand scheme of things and GRRM’s original outline only confirms that.

Basically, I don’t care all that much about the character.  And funnily enough, neither do many of her self-proclaimed super fans considering they keep attributing the qualities, characteristics, relationships, plots and themes of other characters to Sansa. My posts are mainly about addressing this disparity.

Number one Sansa fans David Benioff and Dan Weiss are prime examples of this. They give interviews talking about how great a character Sansa is compared to her supposedly ‘one-dimensional adventure seeking’ sister Arya… and then they pretty much give Show Sansa  Arya’s book plots, themes and narrative arcs. Show Sansa’s story arc is a patch-work of plots from book Jeyne Poole, Arya, Jon, Stannis, Theon, Bran etc.

For reference here is a recent post from @circe1fanatic,

https://circe1fanatic.tumblr.com/post/190902121511/ew-interview-whenever-i-read-posts-about-how-more#notes

https://ew.com/article/2015/04/26/game-thrones-sansa-ramsay-interview/

where D&D admit that they find book Jeyne Poole’s story more entertaining than Sansa Stark’s. They think the story in the North is more important compared to what Sansa is doing in the Vale - and dumped their fave there to give her a more important role on the show.

Sansa does not stand out in any special way in the books. Your description of her here is a perfect example of that - ‘compassionate and intelligent’. There are several other main characters who have proved to be more compassionate than her. Even attempted child murderer Jaime Lannister has demonstrated compassion in the books. Intelligent? Book Sansa is still being manipulated and led around the nose by LF and made a correct guess that one time about Lyn Corbray being on LF’s payroll. Her peers in the meantime have become leaders, rulers, FM, greenseers and are actively changing and influencing the world around them. 

In a lot of ways she is superfluous in terms of skill sets. Jon, Bran, Dany, Arya, Tyrion all know politics as well. Unlike the show, the books don’t give only one specific skillset to one character. In the show, they designated Bran - warg, Arya - killer, Jon - military man, Sansa - politician. That’s not how it works in the books. Bran, Arya, Jon are all wargs. Jon is a savvy politician and diplomat. Arya has learned FM skills of manipulation and detecting emotions. Bran has ruled.  Arya has learned how the North works from Ned. Jon has played the game, outwitting the Karstarks.Sansa can learn at being underhanded from LF, I guess.

One reason for why Book Sansa is popular in fandom is because she is still in many ways a blank slate. While her peers are actively moving the plot forward, she stagnates as a prisoner and pawn, stuck with giving us descriptions of marriages, feasts and a view into other characters like the Tyrells. That’s why it’s easy to imprint on her the desires and expectations of the fandom and why she is the subject of a lot of fanfiction. 

This is why she is often seen as this great queen, great ruler, great player of the game, expert politician etc. - despite having done nothing at all and despite GRRM’s actual rulers being human beings who make mistakes and have flaws and can only learn to lead through doing and experience. It’s the same reason she’s the fandom bicycle when it comes to shipping - the character is traditionally beautiful and is into romance. It’s why nonsense like ‘Jonsa’ exists.

Book Sansa must indeed be appreciated for her inner strength to endure and withstand abuse - just like Arya, Dany and Jeyne Poole endured their abuse with great strength. Consider Jeyne Poole - got trapped in KL because Sansa tattled all her father’s plans to Cersei. Send to LF’s brothel since she was not a Stark like Sansa. Then send off to Ramsay Bolton to be raped and tortured. And still have the presence of mind to escape with Theon. I do indeed admire her strength. All their strengths.

Sansa was a vain, selfish, snobby brat with lofty ideals in book one and by tattling to the enemy - because she wanted to be queen - she loses her father, gets stuck in KL as a political prisoner and realizes the error of her ways. In later books, Sansa tries her best to help others including poor Dontos and that’s a compliment to her that she’s changing for the better and trying to help the little guy like Arya tried to help Mycah in book one.

She now understands that fairy tales are not real, there are no true knights in reality, beauty/appearances are not everything, appreciates her home and family more, and even finds herself attracted to the Hound. She’s lady like with courtly manners and after seeing her interact with KL nobles, Tyrion thinks that she would have done well as Joffrey’s queen.

Currently she is enmeshed in LF’s plots and learning from him in the Vale. She wants to go home, she wants to be loved for herself and not for her claim. Can she outwit LF at his own game and still be Sansa Stark. One cannot play the game by being honorable. Even Jon Snow was breaking his oaths playing the game at the Wall. Would Sansa go along with murdering her little cousin to gain power in the Vale? Would she go against her family in the North or support them? Sansa was originally created as a foil to Arya and as someone who causes conflict among the Starks. Is that where we are still headed or will her character head in a different direction in the books? The show depicts her as being self serving and LF like in the end. I am not sure if this is a reflection of the book character. We will have to wait for GRRM to write the books to find out.

But yeah. I got into this series as a fantasy fan and hence my investment is with the characters involved in the fantastical - Jon, Arya, Dany, Bran - and I don’t really care one way or another about Sansa.

[bonnieisaway]

a blooming garden - saiki k x oc

HI I KNOW NO ONE LIKES WATTPAD BUT I DONT HAVE AN AO3 STILL SO UNTIL THEN YOU GET TO DEAL WITH ALL MY SHIT ON HERE SO HERES MY SHITTY SELF INSERT OC STORY THE FIRST CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT OK BYE 

wattpad link 

chapter one - flowers bloom

My name is Yua Ichika. 

And I’m a flower. 

I suppose I should be more specific. I’m not an actual flower- I’m a human girl with a peculiar curse. See, I’ve lived in Japan my whole life, but when I was younger I moved around a lot. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood. A lot of it is a blur of doodles, moving trucks, and bickering with my older sister, Aneko. But I have one thing I remember very well. 

I suppose I was about 6 at the time. Aneko was 7. I went to school with this girl who’s name I’ll never remember who claimed to be a psychic. She and I liked the same boy. I think his name was Hisato. Hisato liked me, and the girl was bitter when I told her.

I think if anything this taught me two things. One: don’t tease people. I remember teasing her and before Aneko reprimanded me the psychic told me I’d regret this, and anytime I fell in love with a boy, if he did not love me back, flowers would bloom throughout my body until I died. 

The second thing I learned was simple: don’t ever fall in love. I’ve stuck to this rule pretty well. There was only one other time I could think of, in middle school when I liked some girl who was out of my league. It was only a minor crush, though, and the flowers went away fast.

..And then there was now. Something else I’ve learned: the flowers are different every time. Last time, the flowers were oleanders. Oleanders are usually associated with charm and romance, but they could kill humans. The oleanders never affected me like that, though, and I was lucky when they stopped blooming and fell away. It’s really hard to lie about why you’ve got a flower blooming over your eye.  But I did realize now: the oleander represented how I felt about her and her true personality. I loved her. She was toxic.

I have freckles across my cheeks and arms. People usually assume that I was born with them and that it’s just a cute trait. That is, when people pay attention to me. But the freckles are actually places where flowers have bloomed and fallen away before. My arms, face, and neck. 

Do I regret teasing that girl? Yes. I do. Would I go back and change my actions if I could? No. I wouldn’t. I know that one day, this may kill me. Or maybe in the eyes of some people I’ll never live a “full life.” But I know I wouldn’t have learned some certain lessons if I didn’t.

Which brings me to now. I’d like to emphasize, I don’t curse often since I don’t talk often. But I’d like to dub myself as a fucking dumbass.  A really big idiot. And the reason why I say this is because I just coughed up a golden bloom- what I presume to be a buttercup flower, in the school bathroom. 

This isn’t as bad as it can be. I’ve had oleanders cover my eyes before, this will be fine, this will pass. I know exactly who the cause of this is, too. Well, to phrase in a better term, I know who it is I’ve fallen in love with. 

I wipe my hands on my handkerchief and place it back in my pocket as I look at myself in the mirror. Brown hair cascades past my shoulders, framing blue eyes hidden behind glasses. Freckles dot my face and neck, or what’s visible of them. There’s even a few freckles on my left eyelid, but they’re never noticeable. I stride out of the restroom and into my classroom with feigned confidence, our teacher nodding to adknowledge I’ve returned as I take my seat towards the back of the classroom. 

I can’t help but zone out, staring out the window lost in thought. I’ve liked Saiki for a while now. I guess it just took a bit for my curse to kick in. My eyes slowly scan the classroom of students. All of them I know their names, but I’m not friends with any of them. 

Those are the measures I’ve taken to make sure I don’t fall in love. I’ll be honest, I don’t care if I’m alone. And I still wouldn’t ever go back and change what I did. But I’m still afraid of one thing:

I don’t wanna die.

My eyes continue to scan until they fall on Aiura Mikoto, one of the two psychics in our class. And, well, the only known psychic in our class. I don’t know why but she looks so familiar to me. Like a distant memory, or someone you saw in a dream once. Before I know it the bell rings, dismissing our daily classes.

As I stand and collect my things, my eyes fall to the note I’ve written, lying untouched aside from my handwriting, lacing the page in black pen. I pick it up as I throw my bag over my shoulder, and I’m the last to walk out of the classroom. Our teacher casts me a glance, one of concern, as I leave. She’s usually worried about me, when she remembers I exist. 

That’s the thing about not having friends. No one remembers who I am, and no one cares to. It’s a side effect. I do it to stay safe. Of course, I have my moments, say in gym class I’ll save a game or score a goal where people get happy and if I’m lucky they’ll remember my name. But that’s about it. 

As I walk through the halls of PK Academy I pass Teruhashi in conversation with Saiki. I smile at them both. Only Teruhashi smiles back.

I’ve always been jealous of Teruhashi. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted to be. Pretty. Loved. Friendly. Outgoing. But I’m never hateful of her. If anything, maybe one day I’d like to be her friend. But I’m always cautious, and I’m sure with a girl of her pure social status she is too, so.. I’ve never tried. But her distracting Saiki gives me an opportunity as I approach the shoe lockers. 

I slip the note I’ve written into Saiki’s locker before turning to mine, conveniently next to his. Call that cruel irony, huh? I change my shoes quickly and walk out of school, thankfully leaving before Saiki could get to his locker. It’d be really awkward if he opened it and found a note from me while I was next to him. 

I walk out of the school gates and ahead of me I see Kuboyasu and Kaido walking and talking, laughing. I smile to myself. They’ve got a nice dynamic. Also I could see them dating. Just throwing that out there. I live close to Kaido’s house, an apartment near his. I dig in my bag to find my phone and earphones and it’s barely a minute before all I can hear is the music. 

I’ve always been a bit lonely. Sometimes music helps fill the void. I think one of the cruelest things about my curse was the once upon a time I had friends. And I don’t remember them well but I remember how it felt. Having people care and always be there for you. Maybe it’s dramatic in the sense- the measures I’ve taken to avoid this- but it’s all I can ever think of.

As I enter the general store that’s placed along my path home I take out one of my earbuds and turn to the register- only to see Nendo Riki, my classmate. He smiles wide and greets me. “Hey, pal!”

“Hi, Nendo.” I smile as I turn to the aisles. Nendo calls me pal because I hung out with him once or twice after we had to work together on a partner project. I let him be the exception because.. Come on. It’s Nendo. But I never talk to him much since he’s usually with Saiki. If I’m by Saiki and I fall for him harder.. It’ll only quicken the process.  

I stop in front of a clear fridge with sodas in it. If I’m anything I’m addicted to coca cola, I’ll admit it. I open it and grab a coke- vanilla float flavored, and walk back to where Nendo stands by a register. I place it on the counter. A man who seems to be his boss is behind him, guiding him, which is unsurprising to me.

“How have you been, buddy? We don’t talk often!” Nendo grins as his boss guides him and I hand him 300 yen.  

“I’ve been alright. You?” I ask him kindly as he hands the bottle back to me. I open it as he talks. 

“I’ve been great! Recently, my other buddy and I, Saiki, went to the beach with Kaido and Kuboyasu as well! It was great!” He seems overjoyed. He’s like a stray puppy who I left food for once and now he comes back every week but I can’t take him in because in this metaphor I’d be allergic to dogs. 

“I’m sure it was fantastic, Nendo. I have to go, though.” 

“Oh, okay! Bye, buddy!” He waves as I leave and I give a small wave as I exit the store and continue walking home. 

The walk isn’t much longer as I finally arrive in my apartment and kick off my shoes. I live alone, and Mom and Aneko live across the city. Mom pays for this apartment because once upon a time PK Academy was my dream school. Now it’s just.. A school. But I’m not necessarily complaining. It could be worse. 

I drop my bag somewhere along my route to my bedroom before changing out of my school uniform and into a black sweater and shorts. I dig through my cabinets and grab a box of pocky before going to walk into my living room.

I sit on my couch and play idle games on my phone as my mind wanders to the note I left Saiki. No, it was not a love note.

‘Saiki, I’ve got something important I need to talk to you about. I know about your powers and I have a favor to ask of you. Signed, Yua Ichika.’ 

That's what I wrote. I had a plan, to ensure I’d be okay: 

I’d ask Saiki Kusuo to make me hate him. 

The reality is I’ve known of his powers for a while now. How, you ask? I heard Tortisuka and Aiura yelling that day they were trying to yell at Akechi, or something. I got curious and when you look for a pattern you find one. I’ve gathered at least some: teleportation, telepathy, clairvoyance, phsychometry, astral project, and there’s probably more. 

I never bother him about it though. Generally, at school I keep my thoughts away from him as best I can. If I don’t stand out to him there’s no chance anything will happen. With this curse, sure, there’s a chance that maybe if he likes me back the flowers would fall away with time. 

But that doesn’t happen. I’ve seen Saiki before: Saiki Kusuo does not fall in love.  So this is my last option. I can’t fall out of love. I’ve tried before. 

Last year. Before time rewinded. 

I don’t know why but I’m assuming Saiki rewound time for something. I have all the memories of last year- and so does everyone else- but I’m the only one who realizes this. Because I was seconds from death when he rewound time. So I have to take this precaution now in case he doesn’t rewind again. 

And it’d be selfish to ask him to rewind the whole world because I don’t wanna die. So as much as I don’t want to this is the last option I can think of. 

I have to get myself to hate Saiki Kusuo. 

[proxylynn]

Lynchtale: File Name Game of Death #4

Chapter 4: To aid is sin and one that brings more pain.

WARNING: THIS IS A MATURE STORY THAT WILL HAVE BLOOD, GORE, PSYCHOLOGICAL SURVIVAL HORROR, HEAVY CURSING, AND LIKELY SEXUAL THEMES/BONING. I DO NOT OWN UNDERTALE, THAT BELONGS TO LORD TOBY FOX. I DO NOT OWN DEAD BY DAYLIGHT, THAT BELONGS TO BEHAVIOUR DIGITAL INC.. I DON'T OWN THE AU'S THAT SOME OF THE CHARACTERS COME FROM, THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE CREATORS. I DON'T OWN THE IDEA FOR LYNCHTALE, THAT BELONGS TO PUNNYSIDEUP (AKA. SANSFULPUNS). WHAT I DO OWN IS MY SELF-INSERT OC ANOMALY LYNSIE AND THE LOVE OF FAN PARODY. IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS, THEN CONGRATULATIONS ON EITHER BEING ONE WITH STRONG DETERMINATION OR AN ENDLESS WILL TO OVERCOME THE CHALLENGE OF STOMACHING WHAT I HAVE IN MIND. EITHER WAY, IF YOU LIKE THIS AND/OR MY OTHER CONTENT, SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE ETERNAL PUNISHMENT. HAVE FUN SINNERS. ^_^

--------------------------------------------------------------

Two trials have passed since my reawakening. With a bit more explaining, Claudette was more willing to teach me her perk of Self-Care. Every little bit helps when it will come to stopping the killer within me. Even Dwight makes amends with me by showing me how to access the Bloodweb. To do so, one must close their eyes then enter a meditative trance-like state where the mind is a space between reality and abstraction. Basically, it can be accessed through thought and sleep patterns. In this space, one can use the Bloodpoints, Iridescent Shards, Auric Cells...mostly Bloodpoints though. With these points, one can acquire Add-ons, Items, Offerings, and even other Perks that aren't person-specific. But I don't have many after my first trial so I don't get to collect many things. If I'm honest, I just grabbed a few random Nodes. Though I did notice something odd. The web was broken in half and some of the things I got...I don't think are meant for Survivors. Despite this obvious red flag, I don't tell the others about it. I mean, I don't plan on using these blatant killer things so why tell them about it? Well...Maybe just one. The one that offers me bonus Bloodpoints. An unidentifiable cocoon that was breached by whatever was inside called Hollow Shell that gives a 25% increase. I don't see how this could do any harm. And extra points are extra points worth at least possibly getting. The timing of all this is rather convenient. A new trial is commencing. One that involves me. Time for my second trial to begin now.

[INTO THE FOG AND OUT ELSEWHERE]

My vision clears to a blackened sky, dead forest, full moon, and the faint scent of char of a long since past fire. I have never been to this realm but I know where I am. The Entity literally drilled all sorts of knowledge into my mind, Maps being some of it, and this one is the Disturbed Ward of Crotus Prenn Asylum.

There is insanity, and then there are minds that are so severely distorted that they cease being humans. Instead, they end up a feral, living, unwanted things. These people must be "stored" somewhere, and that's where the Crotus Prenn Asylum played a crucial role. Established in 1857, Crotus Prenn was originally a hospital, but as the need for storage grew, it was turned into an insane asylum. Crotus Prenn was a place riddled with tall tales that aren't even close to the reality that takes place within its walls. It was never the biggest asylum, but the one that held the most violent and warped minds the country had ever met. But it was not the residents that etched the name Crotus Prenn into the history books. Instead, it was the mass homicide where over fifty patients were found dead in their beds. The building was abandoned shortly after that. Investigators had no answers, and the town's folk became more and more worried as rumors talked about a woman still living inside the asylum. Finally, one night, smoke rose from the woods as Crotus Prenn had been set ablaze. The bystanders did nothing. They just let it burn. The last standing structure after the fire, that still shows the grandeur of the original architecture. Its two floors and dark basement leave nothing of the tale of horrors that took place here. Nothing but memories that linger in the abandoned rooms.

This place...This place is the home of the Nurse. In a funny sense of irony, the Entity did little to informed me of the monsters outside of the basics. She is technically the slowest killer currently in the realms but can blink/teleport with blinding speed to anywhere all over the area and slash you with her bonesaw, a rusted metal implement for tearing through flesh as well as bone. There is a painful tell if the Nurse is indeed here. In order to Blink, she channels the dying breath energy of past kills to allow her to pierce and jump through the Spirit World, sometimes multiple times in a row. Doing so leaves her in a state of fatigue as blinking is quite painful to her, hence why she will shriek after each Blink. Yet so far, as I crawl in the thick tall grass and decaying structures littering the grounds, all has been quiet. I'm lucky to find a generator with some decent cover and I start to fiddle with it. I'll show my team that I'm productive and not as big of a liability as they think. As this team is probably expecting me to fail. I got stuck with Adam, Min, and Nea. Poor guy is drowning in a torrential estrogen agro sea.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

That is a sound I was hoping not to hear.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

I don't even have to peek to see the ghostly figure fly upwards, leaving a trail of glowing dots and black smoke in her wake, through the asylum. My progress on the generator stops as I don't want to be distracted and mess up, alerting to my location. I know not if this is her intended strategy, but if I had that power, I'd use the height advantage to look for any movement or gen-repair happening in the mist. I don't know if she can see me from wherever she has landed in that place, but sight is only a minor thought. It's likely Legion has said things to the other monsters. He knows about my strange terror radius. If he told them anything, it was probably that and now I have to be on guard even more for monsters that are listening for me and can hunt me down easy.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

She sounds further away. Spotting prey elsewhere and going for it. I feel safe enough for now to continue repairing the generator. It feels a good 60% done when I hear softly crunching earth and yet no terror radius. One of my teammates is near.

"*whisper* Yo, who's there?"

His hair stands out before he can say anything.

"*whisper* It's me. Do you need a hand?"

"*whisper* Not really. This thing is almost done. But the boost wouldn't hurt."

He creeps over to help me.

"So...Did you see her yet?"

Here come the questions that will annoy me.

"Nurse? Not up close. She blinked up into the asylum and then out of sight."

"I saw her for a moment then she went near where Min was repairing."

"She'll be fine. She has Nea to cover her."

His expression is blank though it feels forced.

*CLANK*

The lights pop on and I back away from the generator.

"Where are you going?"

I don't look at him.

"She'll come investigating. You don't want to be around me in case things happen."

"You don't have to go it alone. We're a team. There's no 'I' in team."

"But there is a 'me'. And this me is going to make sure I don't hurt anyone."

He reaches out to follow but I scamper away into the thicket. I know Adam means well, but I am not a very sociable person. I prefer to be by myself. I'm a team player that doesn't like to be on a team. I know, that made no damn sense. Sue me.

*CLANK*

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

Two gens down and someone's only now just got hurt. Not bad.

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

...Never mind. I guess I have no choice but to play distraction to keep them from dying. Ugh...They're already forcing me to do shit. Damn it!

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier I activated.]

What?! God damn...No, no, calm down. Ignore the crap and be a good helpful person.

"Hellooooooo, Nurse!"

I shout to the heavens. Come on. Take my bait. Why go after them when I'm here and you can see what I can do?

"Come on! What are you waiting for? Don't waste your time on worms when there's a beast right here!"

Somehow I can feel the rage from across the map. Nea is so easy to piss off it's sad.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I barely see the burly movement zipping through the fog. I need to play this safely or all hell will happen. So what do I do? I impersonate Kermit the Frog like a flipping moron. Of course, this gets the Nurse's attention and the real game starts.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

The sudden whoosh of a weapon just missing its mark to hit a rock behind me has me kick it into high gear.

"Wee-woo, mother fucker!"

Probably more cocky than needed but can't take it back now.

"You can run, child..."

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

She cuts me off, taking a swing and slicing deeply into my arm when I try to dodge.

"But there is nowhere to run. Especially, from the likes of me."

True to the nature of my skills as dictated by the Entity, I don't make a loud sound of pain. I grit my teeth while biting my tongue and grab the wound as if my skin were to roll off like a torn sleeve. Blood covering my arm, hand, and ground in a steady stream.

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier II activated.]

My nerves jitter with a sense of warm darkness. I can feel that call from before. That want to panic and overreact, to lash out.

*CLANK*

The third generator pops and the Nurse is momentarily distracted and this good step toward progress does quell the feeling enough to remember I need to run! Nurse makes the choice to ignore the others and keep after me.

"You've got to be kidding?!"

She isn't blinking. She's merely chasing me, her form floating seamlessly and faintly gaining speed as she continues to follow. All while my pace isn't as steady, I'm stumbling over the slightest thing and seem to spook every crow without fail. I am regretting doing anything! During this messed up run, I notice lights flickering with power and decide to do a little test. I make a beeline for that generator. Of course, the three others working on it don't react well to this. To Adam's credit, he takes cover against the gen and a tree, letting the dark camouflage him. Min takes off in a burst of speed, probably telling herself button commands because of gamer logic. Nea, however, hurls an uncreative obscenity at me and proceeds to shove me back into the Nurse herself. Nurse doesn't take this well, her frail form is unable to support my weight and I crush the monster in my awkward tumble.

"Get wrecked, asshole!"

Nea flees into the darkness, aiming to find another generator since we only need two more to escape. My annoyance levels increase. I can feel the urges for violence strengthen. Whispers of dark intentions. I stain as hard as I can to keep sane and move away from the Nurse. But I can't see right with all this mental pressure and blood loss, I have to lean against a tree to not trip over my own feet...again. The Nurse takes some time returning to her floating state. She looks my way, her bonesaw clenched in her hand, yet she doesn't move from her position. She merely stares at me. I'm not sure which is more unnerving, her featureless staring or the loud heartbeat pounding my already aching mind? The uncomfortableness and pain are not letting me think straight. So I'm not too surprised that the part of me that controls speech goes off.

"*strained* What are you doing?"

"I beg your pardon?"

I turn to her as she tilts her head, at least getting a good look at her. The shape of this monster is...odd to me. She's not a shadow like Wraith or skeleton like Legion. She is an anthropomorphic mammal, one that seems familiar yet unknown due to not being able to see her face. An old stained white linen pillowcase seems to be smothering her head, tied tight by unseen binds, though this does allow for a shape to be defined. Her head is Bovidae-like and even has two slightly curved horns that poke out. She wears a worn standard-issue dirty purple nurse uniform from the early twentieth century, designed with white lace patterns on the breast and held around the waist with a blood-stained red belt. The bottom of her uniform is torn and tattered, showing off her white fur covered broken legs. Granted, I'm 100% that they're broken but damn they look it or are just deteriorated to the point that standing on them would be next to impossible. Her bare feet resemble paws and so do her hands except, you know, they're hands that are covered in fur. Honestly...She's the least scary thing I could've imagined when told a Nurse was going to kill me.

"*strained* Why aren't you trying to kill me? I'm an easy mark right now."

She ponders for a moment.

"I am assessing the situation."

"*strained* Why? You've hit me once already and I haven't healed. Hit me again and I go into the dying state to which you can hook me. What's to assess?"

"How much longer you will last with such a sickness eating away at your mind."

My eyes widen. She knows? Knows what's happening to me? How? Legion didn't know. He couldn't have jumped to such a conclusion with the tiniest of hints. So how in the hell does she know? What the fuck?!

"*strained* ...You're going to keep after me till I snap, aren't you?"

She holds the weapon in front of her, delicately skimming a small claw at the end of her finger over the smooth metal back.

"You are a clever one for one so sick. Then again, the clever ones always tend to be the sickest...and require the most attention."

Her tone is something more creepy than she herself is. It holds this strict authority and threatening power that has me flashing back to watching the movie Matilda as a kid, more accurately, being intimidated by the character Miss Agatha Trunchbull. And much like a child in the face of something dreadful, I mentally freak out running like a rabbit from a wolf.

My chest is pounding like crazy, not helping the bleeding arm. Nurse, again, resumes her pursuit of me yet now she's hammering me with jump scares blinking so close that my breathing falters quite a few times.

"*shrike* Leave me alone!"

If she speaks I know not. I can't hear anything but the heartbeat.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I crash in my panic into everything in my way. I'm a mess. I'm not even sure how I'm still running other than I'm burning adrenaline like crazy.

*CLANK*

The forth generator pops. I feel pressure lessen from my soul and for a second I recall relief.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

*HIGH-PITCH ROAR*

The slash to my back is so sudden I collide with one of the burning oil drums that light the fog. The drum remains standing. I do not. I'm in the dying state. Bleeding out unless hooked or healed by a teammate, the latter being highly unlikely.

"Poor child..."

She hovers over my bloody twisted form.

"They have left you to die."

Fuck! What is she going to do? Hook me? Mori me? Leave me to bleed? Damn it! I don't want to die! Not like this!

[Embrace it, worm. Embrace the gift the Entity has given you. Unleash the beast.]

The whispers repeat and overlap. Madness is engulfing what little humanity remains at this point. I can't take this!

"What will you do now, child?"

She reaches down to pluck me like a flower.

"What will you do to stop me from killing you?"

*THUD*

She pauses. Something is nearby. I'm not going anywhere, even if crawling is an option, so she investigates the sound. Might as well try to stop the other humans I suppose. She gets out of sight when something else enters my visual range.

"*whisper* Don't move. Man, she really got you good."

Adam? He came for me? I...I'm brain dead. He used his Distraction perk to toss a pebble. Yeah, as dumb as that sounds, that's a special perk of his. It's like my Snowball's Chance but only works when not noticed by the killer.

He works as quickly as he can to heal me, for it is the power of the Nurse to know when healing is being done. Thank goodness he has acquired a med-kit and gets me out of dying state, though not fully healed, by the time the heartbeat starts to return. I hobble just behind him, the Nurse no doubt trailing my blood and scratch marks.

"Can you keep up?"

Why is he concerned for me?

"*wince* Why did you risk exposing yourself? You only need one gen to leave."

He chuckles.

"There might be a 'me' in team, but this me won't let my team die if I can help it."

That hit me. He used my own words on me. Such a mad lad.

"*wince* Heh...Thanks, man."

He throws a peace sign and I laugh, feeling the most normal since this trial began.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

Wetness...Crimson...It's in my eyes. I'm blinded by Adam's blood spray.

"Look out!"

Of course, I can't.

*HIGH-PITCH ROAR*

I'm slashed across the chest and I drop to the ground, feeling so very weak. I blink enough to see in colors other than red only to see Adam scurry away. I don't blame him. It's only natural. What pains me is the look back take he does. His face screams "I'm sorry". He's not coming back. Not this time.

[What will you do now, little worm? He was your last chance.]

I feel myself being lifted and put over Nurse's shoulder.

*CLANK*

*ALARM*

The popping of the fifth generator unlocks the gates and now I know all hope is lost on anyone coming to get me. Nea and Min definitely won't make the attempt. And Adam? He might but it would be illogical to self-preservation. My attention returns to the here and now when Nurse stops moving...she's found a hook.

[Last chance, little worm. Will you let them get away with their sins? Their abandonment of you? The betrayal? The disrespect? Embrace the beast. Teach them the error of their ways. Embrace the Entity.]

As she lifts me, ready to pierce my back on the dirty metal of sacrifice, I give up...and give in.

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier III activated.]

[You made the right choice, little beast. Now...Prove to the worms that it is a mistake to wrong you.]

[Special Ability: Anomaly State...Activated.]

...

[Toriel.]

Nurse freezes in her action.

"Master?"

[Put the little beast down. Stop the other worms. The Entity will reward you handsomely.]

This is a bit puzzling to the Nurse.

"Of course, Master. But why not accept this one? Is she too sick?"

[You will see soon enough. Enjoy having a friend, my dear.]

Further confusion comes to her but no killer disobeys the Entity unless they want to be tortured. And the Doctor did say they should observe this one. So she sets the lifeless looking human down and does as instructed, blinking away towards one of the exit gates. A sudden light comes to Nurse's vision...Healing is happening. Locking onto this, she moves with long blinks to find the male being tended to by one of the females. The surprising yet predictable ambush does not go without bloodshed.

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

The male is struck down while the female tries to escape. He's not going anywhere, so Nurse blinks and lunges for a hard slash, but the female dashes quickly just out of range. Probably used that damn perk called Dead Hard to avoid the damage.

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

This has Nurse and human stop in puzzlement.

*ROAR*

The confusion only grows. But it's not like the monster or human forget where they are or what the situation is and resume the chase.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

The heartbeat? Then that means that sick one is near. Poor thing. She must truly be ill of not even the Entity wanted to feed on her soul.

"*grunting* Fucker! Get off of me!"

The sounds of a distressed and agitated human is close...real close. Curiosity peeked, Nurse shifts directions and follows the ever increasing pounding.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

Leaping out from the top of the asylum, the distasteful female lands on her feet to keep running as the sick human pounces down to chase after her on all fours. This sight is a perplexing one indeed. She couldn't see much, but based on their movements, they seemed to be healed. And their eyes...glowing?

*LOW-PITCH GRUNT*

Someone's healing. That's a no-no.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

Zooming over to the healing humans, suddenly the healing stops. Before it clicks in her head as to why, Nurse blinks through a wall only to be blinded by the bright focused beam of a well-aimed flashlight and smacks her face into a large rock. The offending human is gone by the time Nurse's vision returns but the male they were trying to help is futilely crawling into the grass.

"I think not, little man."

If left alone he'd only need a bit more healing to get back up or bleed out. Nurse skips to the chase and hooks the poor soul up like a cow in a slaughterhouse.

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

"Now...Where did those little brats go?"

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

Well, that's helpful.

She doesn't blink away, simply following the sounds of pain and heavy breathing off in the distance.

lub-dub...lub-dub...

This sick one again? What insanity is she doing now?

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

"The hell is wrong with you?!"

"Get to the gate!"

Do they know she can hear them? Do they think monsters don't understand them? Such idiocy will be their downfall.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

*HIGHT-PITCH SHIRK*

"Blind this bitch!"

"I can't get a clear shot!"

"Don't you fucking leave me!"

Oh really? This is sounding more interesting.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

"You are so lucky I don't have Decisive Strike or I'd so stab the shit out of you!"

"*snarling*"

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

*HIGHT-PITCH SCREAM*

Was that...a hooking? No...It couldn't be. 'Twas impossible. This had to be a fluke. She was the only monster in the trial. Only one could be in a trial. That's the rule.

*ALARM BLARE*

The gate is being opened. Though judging by the hooked auras, it must be by the remaining female. Fine. Escape this time, brat. Your demise can wait a little longer. There are far more interesting events going on.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

It's coming from behind the shack? It makes some sense. The basement hadn't spawned in there this time.

"*grunting* Disgusting freak! You're so dead when we get back to camp!"

Harsh words. Aimed at a fellow human? Such a strange trial.

*ALARM BLARE*

"It won't be long now..."

The sick one?

"Min won't come for you. How does it feel to be left for dead?"

"*grunting* Speak English, bitch!"

*ALARM BLARE*

*METAL SCRAPING*

*DARK BELL BONG*

One of the gates open, the End Game Collapse has begun as Nurse comes around the shack and what she witnesses through the cloth covering her is not something she expected. The disrespectful human was on the hook and being watched by the sick human, only she looked a bit...different. Her hair was loose and shrouded her face, though her eyes glowed white under such curtain. Her arms dangled limply at her sides, hands bent like claws with nails to match. Her posture was slightly hunched yet that was probably because she was standing on her toes.

The sky rumbles with the thunderous approach of the Entity, aiming to claim it's first snack and earning the sick human's attention to see Nurse. The slight turn in her direction gives a better view of her face. White orbs surrounded by darkness that seemed to drain down her cheeks. As if...crying?

"Poor sick child..."

The human doesn't blink.

"You look so unwell."

She looks at the hooked human.

"They use me...Call me a freak...A liability...Yet they bring about their own end."

Slowly she steps away. Heading towards the opened gate or where she perceives it to be.

"*grunting* Hey! Come back here!"

The sacrificed human is ignored.

"They need to learn...Learn that they won't get away with such things anymore."

Her tone is ominous yet somber, almost remorseful. Nurse only watches this odd human walk away. Now as odd as this is, the fact that the collapse is still happening means the trial is not completely over with. Even as the Entity returns to snatch up the other hooked human, the burning veins along the ground persist. Further curiosity has the Nurse following the remaining human. She pays the Nurse no mind, as if not believing her to exist. Arriving at the gate, the human pauses and stares at the site of the campfire. Her only promise of safety in an otherwise deadly world. The instinct to stop her comes to the Nurse but she restrains herself to witness any further oddities. Bit by bit, she gradually steps towards her freedom. She approaches the escape boundary, only for The Entity to spawn the same spikes that usually block vaults for Survivors and stop the Killers from leaving the Trial grounds. She is understandably confused and attacks the spikes with her claws to no avail. Poor thing. She's become so sick that she isn't recognized as human anymore. Something gets her attention, whispers on the wind speaking to her and telling her things she doesn't like. She roars out in frustrated anguish.

[She has learned a harsh lesson.]

"Master?"

[Monsters can not leave to the campfire of humans. Her only chance of leaving here alive is the hatch. But she has no time to look for it. She will not survive. I leave her fate to you, Toriel.]

Such a cruel thing. But so true. There is no saving this one. She's too sick to be saved. The only way out now would be painful. Yet perhaps...there is still some mercy to be given to this child.

"Young one..."

Nurse's soft voice gets her attention.

"There is no escape."

The poor girl looks completely defeated. She even drags herself over to Nurse.

"If you mean to kill me...please...make it quick."

Pity. An emotion Nurse believed she had forgotten. None of the other humans brought that feeling out in her or her fellow monsters. She puts her hands on the girl's shoulder apologetically.

"You poor thing. So much suffering is hidden in those eyes."

"Not sure how you can see that or anything else with that case over your head, but you wouldn't be good at what you do if you couldn't."

"Call it something akin to mother's intuition."

That got somewhat of a small smile to breach her gloom.

"Sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Yeah. For how I acted and junk. Just thought I'd say sorry before you...you know."

No need to make this difficult, human.

"Thank you, child."

She appears ready to speak further but Nurse makes the call to end it now. Her hands swiftly grasp the human's throat and she forces her to the ground. Naturally, the girl is reluctant to be strangled and grips at Nurse's wrists in an effort to pry them off. This struggle does little to lessen the pressure on her windpipe. With the life fading from her form she claws at Nurse's face. Her sharps nails snag a bit of the cloth and tear a small opening, showing off the intense red eyes hidden inside.

*CRACK*

The flailing ceases. Limbs fall to the wayside. Head lulls back and eyes empty of light. The human is dead.

"Rest now, child..."

Nurse gently strokes the cheek of the human in solace.

"Now you can rest."

With the last human in the trial now dead, the world begins to be consumed by the realm's fog. Time for the world to be reset for the next trial. Nurse reaches up and feels the hole, touching her face for the first time in unknown ages. It won't last though. This will be reset along with the realm. A fleeting glance with her own eyes before losing such clarity again.

[SURVIVOR'S FOREST]

Cold. Everything feels cold. Everything is quiet. Rather odd for the campfire to be so dead. Suddenly there's feeling. Poking. Sharp poking on the back of my head.

*CAW*

...Okay. That's not normal. Forcing my eyes to open, I see not the light of the fire or faces of those who will most likely piss me off. Only darkness and trees as a crow flutter off my back to gawk at me.

"I didn't realize you things double as alarm clocks."

The bird rears back like it will peck my eye out, only to turn and fly upward while cawing.

"Was it something I said?"

Oh well. Time to stop kissing the dirt and find the fire. I could use some cheering up. David's always good at lifting my spirit. Scrapping myself off the ground hurts. I'm sore and feel dizzy. But I can't stay here because of that. Even if my neck is killing me. Did she really have to snap it? I guess I should be grateful that she did make it quick. Shaking off the stiffness in my joints, I lumber through the woods unsure of how to get to camp but know it's where I'm going. Such a strange feeling. Stranger still is the crow seems to be following me. What do you want with me now Entity?

"I don't know why you didn't put me back at camp, but the least you could do was drop me off closer."

The bird ignores me yet continues to linger. Jackass. Either way, as long as it doesn't cause trouble then I don't mind the company. At some point in my tireless stroll, it takes perch atop my head and I groan.

"Having fun?"

It ruffles its plumage before sitting.

"*sigh* Just don't crap in my hair, okay?"

*CAW*

"I'll take that as a maybe."

I'm not sure how long I've been walking. The trees never seem to end. Yet...I don't feel the fatigue of it.

*CAW*

"What?"

The bird takes flight and something tells me to follow. I run after this harbinger of death. Not sure if it's even leading me anywhere. But soon...I see auras. Auras shaped like people. I move to all fours for faster speed. The smell of smoke finally gets to me. It makes me move faster. By the time I can see light, my body tingles with the anticipation of the fire's warmth. But then...I hear the voices.

"Good! I'm glad she's gone! Fucking freak hooked me!"

Nea. I slow down.

"Do you know 'ow often I've wanted to do that to you?"

David. Never taking her shit.

"Fuck you!"

"Well...It's not like she didn't warn us that something like this could happen."

Dwight. Even his points are nervous wrecks.

"It didn't help that we were going against the Nurse. Once she found her, the damn monster would not stop chasing her for nothing and ignored us till the end."

Thanks, Adam. Maybe it's okay after all.

"And who's fault was that? If she hadn't have shouted than the Nurse would've never found her. At least, no so easily."

Fuck you, Min. Just fuck you.

"She did that because both of you were being attacked. Or did you forget that part? If she hadn't distracted the Nurse, then both of you would've been down after popping that second gen."

I've crept into the bushes and can see them now. No one looks pleased.

"A lot of good that did anyway. Two of us were still hooked. With one being by a fucking team member!"

Nea...Oh, how you know just what to say to make my blood boil.

"You pushed her into the Nurse! And you're seriously wondering why she went after you?"

"The bitch ran at us while being chased! She's lucky I didn't knock her ass out!"

"Fuck you!"

I've had enough listening and spring out of my hiding spot. The whole group just stares at me. Sure, I expected some but not all of them to be looking at me so...oddly.

"What? Are we not allowed to swear all of a sudden?"

David takes a cautious step towards me.

"Luv? Is that you?"

Such a question has me tilting my head in confusion.

"I don't think she knows."

"Poor kid."

Ash and Bill remark.

"Know what?"

"Why is she growling? Is she upset?"

Meg questions as if trying to understand the barks of a dog.

"Okay...I'm just gonna pretend you guys aren't high right now."

I move to join them but barbed spikes, the same that kept me from exiting the gate, now block me from entering the camp.

"What kind of bull is this?"

I touch the spikes and only now notice what they have been seeing this whole time. My hands...These aren't my normal hands. But I died...Why didn't I return to normal? Why am I still a monster? What the fuck is happening to me?!

[Oh, did the Entity forget to mention that if you are killed while in the False Killer state, you shall remain as such till you are brought out of it? So forgetful. Bad Entity, bad. Heheh...]

The ever increasing look of fear and panic on my face has the few good ones concerned, especially David.

"Hey, it's okay, Luv. Just calm down. Can you understand what I'm sayin'?"

This is absolute bullshit! The Entity did this on purpose! Making me suffer still for holding back!

Gripping my stressed-out head, I roar is growing frustration before fleeing back into the woods and away from the shame this affliction is giving me. Vaguely, I want to believe the voices I hear behind me are anything but negative. Damn it all! Why? Why am I like this? Why am I always the freak?

Lost in my private pity party panic I fail to take notice of many warnings that I'm not the only monster in these woods. After probably circling the same carved tree for like the sixth time, something trips me and I skid into the ground. Frankly, I am not having a good day.

"Oh my..."

And suddenly a random voice from the darkness.

"That was quite the tumble. Are you alright, darling?"

Darling? No one calls me that. ...Oh shit. No one I know calls me that. Stranger danger!

"Hmmm...Not much of a talker, are you?"

A figure steps forth and crouches in front of me. Their outfit is pretty basic but they certainly aren't. Just a simple plastic mask with a sort of melted face look that covers part of their face, like the phantom of the opera style while the other side is covered in oil black hair. A faint pink glow shimmers from that lone eye hole. Eerie yet enchanting. Black fabrics shroud their form to help give cover, pinkish-white glossy textures provide light balancing accents, and tendril strips of cloth writhe behind them like four ghostly snakes. They look the most basic, but they are not...The flesh I can see is not meat, but metal. They are a murder machine. A killer robot. And going off the voice...It's a dude.

"Well, no matter. It's better if you just listen than chatter."

That part gets me as I make myself sit up.

"Wait...You're not going to try to kill me?"

He sighs.

"No, darling. At least...Not right now."

Oh great. One of those type of killers. How much worse is this going to get?

"Tell me something, darling...How would you like to have a friend?"

Um...Not gonna lie, I'm blindsided.

"Huh?"

"A friend. You know what one is. Someone you can trust. Depend on. Someone that can help you when you're in need. Now...Wouldn't it be nice to have someone like that?"

Ah. I get it now. He's going to mock me and take pleasure in my empty pointless life before killing me.

"Dude, can you skip the whole belittling me thing and just kill me? I have no fucks to give anymore."

He seems slightly insulted yet remains composed.

"Belittling? No, darling, I wasn't doing anything like that."

"Sure you weren't."

"Really. I wasn't. I am merely extending a hand to someone lost."

"And does said hand hold a weapon in it?"

Now he's offended.

"Well, I never. So defensive when I've done nothing to incur such hostility."

Great...Now I feel bad for insulting a murder...The fuck is wrong with me?!

"No, you're right. I'm sorry I jumped to a conclusion like that. I'm not...myself."

He skims a metal hand under his hood to go through his hair coolly.

"No big deal, darling. I get it. Bad days happen to the best of us."

Okay...This guy is confusing me. Wait...I know him.

"I'm sorry, but are you the one known as...Ghost Face?"

He flinches before becoming way more chipper.

"Oh~? It seems my reputation precedes me."

"The others spoke about you once. But I know as much as the Entity drilled into my head. I merely guessed it was you. I do not know what any of the monsters look like that I haven't met."

That knocks him down a tiny bit yet seems unphased.

"I see. Well, if that's the case..."

He stands up and offers me his hand.

"Allow me to offer you a chance to change that."

It takes a moment to process that.

"You want me...to go with you?"

"A little slow on the uptake. Yeah. That's what I'm offering."

"...Why?"

He sighs. Getting fed up with me enough to quickly reach down and yank me to my feet by the throat.

"Geez. I never thought you'd be so dull in person. I'm offering you something big. Some behind the scene action and get to know the crew. You should feel lucky. Nah, honored."

To try to pry him off would be futile. But that doesn't mean I have to just take this crap.

"*snarl* Let go of me!"

He wags a single finger on his free hand.

"Now now, darling. You won't get anywhere being demanding. Try again with proper respect to your better."

I cringe.

"*growl* Let go of me...Please?"

He smirks.

"Much better."

He puts me down yet doesn't remove his hand.

"Now then, rewinding back a bit...How would you like to make a friend?"

I am not liking this day. In fact, I fucking hate it.

"Sure?"

"Great! The others will just love meeting you. Some are dying to get there hands on you."

And now I'm uncomfortable.

"...I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"A different one."

"I'll take you to them."

"Can we not?"

His grip tightens and I change my tune.

"*gasp* Okay okay...We can go."

His grip lacks.

"There. Isn't it easier to just go along with things than fight the flow?"

I don't respond. I can't figure a way to do so around him. His personality...It's too mixed to grip. But he gets the point of my silence. Tugging to get me moving as he treks beside me.

"I will admit...You're not quite what I was expecting."

Now he's chatty.

"I've been keeping tabs on you. Taking notes. You're not like this when with the other humans."

...He's been what? No wonder Nurse knew. This guy must've heard and reported it to the others.

"Maybe it's because you're unsure. I am a stranger. You know nothing about me or my motives. For all you know, I could be taking you away to do ungodly things with your body."

That legitimately made me shiver hard. A sensation that makes him chuckle.

"Now there's a reaction. Heheh...So cute. No worries, darling. I have no need of you like that."

I sigh with hope.

"Can't say any of the others won't."

I'm dead. I have to be. Somewhere along the line I died and went to hell. Maybe a bear got me in my sleep or was hit with lightning. Now I'm being punished. Maybe I can make a deal with the devil with a contest or sorts?

"Did that freak you out or are you thinking of a way to attack?"

My thoughts are broken.

"Huh?"

"Ah. You were just lost. Makes sense."

"Um...You were just trying to scare me...right?"

He doesn't respond.

"Right?!"

His composure falters. Unable to keep a straight face.

"*laugh* I'm sorry...*snicker* You just make it so easy to fuck with you."

I am so not in the mood for this.

"That's not FUNNY!"

He may have predicted I was going to hit him. He may even been ready for it. Yet he wasn't prepared for the brunt force not being a hit...but a charge. I end up taking him for a short ride into a tree, the bang catches him off guard and the shock has him release me. This momentary freedom is enough to get some space and I use it to run. Of course, he's not pleased by this and gives chase.

"*digital distortion* GET BACK HERE, YOU BITCH!"

Seems the robot loses his shit when upset. Good to know. Perhaps I can use that.

"Don't blow a gasket, ghost-bot. Aren't you used to this by now?"

"*digital distortion* I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!"

"You'd have to catch me first."

Granted, a clever guy like him probably knows these woods better than anyone and his costume is well suited to hiding in the darkness. Yet he does have a flaw. He's metal. Heavy heavy metal. While still of decent speed, he can't help his body mass and that is the key. Flesh be nimble, flesh be quick, flesh will adapt, flesh will strengthen, and flesh can overcome. All it takes is some careful maneuvering and just the right time to act. After all, he may have been watching me yet he doesn't know how I do things when pushed. He doesn't know what kind of beast I am!

"*digital distortion* DON'T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME!"

The faint glint of a blade gets in my sight. From the right.

A slash comes down.

But it missed. Just barely though. I mistook his reach range and nearly took the blade of his tactical knife to the shoulder.

"*digital distortion* HOLD STILL, YOU WRETCH! YOU SHOULD FEEL HONORED TO FEEL MY KNIFE SLIDING THROUGH YOUR RIBCAGE!"

Now. Now's the time.

"Sorry. But the only taste of steel I desire is not that weapon!"

I lunge, but it's a false one. The shock is to take him by surprise and gauge his reaction time. But I should've attacked. I shouldn't test things and aim for max damage. Because that's what he does. He's fast. Too fast. His free hand grabs a fistful of my hair and uses it as the tether to swing me into tree after tree.

"*digital distortion* ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! THEN I'LL GRANT YOUR WISH AND BEAT YOU INTO COMPLIANCE!"

He doesn't joke about it either. The knife is put aside for now in favor of swinging me around and bashing me around the environment. Ground, rocks, bushes, trees. Nothing is off-limits to pummel my body into. In no time I'm coughing blood. The bright shimmering crimson is enough to get his attention. It shows his victory. Such a show calms him, reverting him to his relative ease as he holds my still form.

"*sigh* Oh dear...Look at you, darling. This is on you. All I wanted was to show you off. But no...You just had to be difficult."

I don't recall giving willing consent to any of this, so...fuck you.

"I suppose what's done is done. But I can't show up with you looking like this. Just...Hold still a sec."

The cold feel of his thumb smear blood from my face.

"Huh?"

His confusing musing tone has me look meekly up at him.

"Hmmm...Shame. I guess there's a time limit for that."

The only thing his words make me think of is my Anomaly State. So I move my hand enough to see it. Sure enough, I don't see the claws that were there moments before.

[Just as there are ways to trigger this False Killer state, there are ways to prevent and reverse you back to normal. Killers can also use pain to revert you to normal, with enough damage from clashing with a real Killer you will be back to being just another piece of meat waiting to be hooked.]

So he must have hurt me so bad that it reverted me to normal. Good. I'll let him believe there's a time limit. Jerk ain't getting any info out of me. Though I'll be real, I'm not gonna hold out very well if torture is used.

"Oh well. Human you will just have to do."

He tosses me up over his shoulder and resumes the action of taking me somewhere. For what? Fuck if I know.

"You're not going to stab me, are you?"

"*cough* Shouldn't I ask you that?"

"Just checking, darling. All's fun and game till someone gabs s shape object in your back."

"*cough* You are by far...the most confusing individual I have ever met."

"Do try not to talk. You're getting blood all over me."

Whatever. It's your fault I'm spitting blood. My annoyed monologue aside, I decided to just enjoy the ride. I ache too much to try wiggling free and even if I did I wouldn't get very far in this current state. Maybe a small nap would be nice. What's the worst that could happen? He kills me? Good. Then I'll pop my ass back at camp since I'm not all monster any longer. Just a short nap. Just for a...little...while.

...

[What do you think you are doing, Mettaton?]

This voice has Ghost Face pause.

"Oh...um...Nothing?"

[Do not lie. The Entity does not take lies well.]

"M-Master, I assure you, I have no ill intent here."

[Oh? Do tell then.]

"This human can become one of us, right? I figure...Perhaps we can, I don't know, make her more okay with becoming a killer."

[Hmmm...This one is rather reluctant to embrace her gifts.]

"Then am I allowed to continue?"

[Very well. Just do not be foolish. Your pride will blind you if you let your ego get the better of you.]

That made him flinch. It knew? Of course, it knew. The Entity is literally everywhere! It's always listening and watching. Best not fuck this up.

"Yes. Of course, Master."

Great. Now he had to be careful. The Entity didn't care about what the monsters did outside of trials so long as they didn't affect things leading up to trials. If they wanted to mess with the humans, it was okay. Often encouraged. Though this was a bit of hard one to gauge. It's a human but also a monster. If handled wrong, she could tell the other humans things that would give them a massive advantage in terms of strategy. And such a thing would be bad. Very bad indeed. So his plan to present the odd human as a "See? I deserve this more than Legion!" ploy will have to be reworked into a more "Hey guys, we need to make her like us more than them." type deal. Yet based on what he's seen and heard, that most likely won't be as hard of a thing to do than the other might think.

With this in mind, he continues onward. A location set in his thoughts, the forest around him giving way to emptiness and fog. Such a sight is normal for killers to see when traversing the realms. But he found it a little odd she did not react to this. A slight shimmying had him picking up on the sound of her shallow breathes. She nodded off. Rather a nice spot of luck. Less hassle while traveling. But perhaps he was a bit too rough in his anger. Oh well. No point crying over some possible internal hemorrhaging. The fog begins to thicken and wooden shack faintly hides within. This shack both exists in every realm and doesn't at the same time. But in this spot, in particular, was its own space. A place where the monsters would gather for meetings and other stuff. The only differences this shack had from the others was the lack of chests and the addition of bone piles used to practice hexes.

Entering the shack, he easily could tell it was empty. Not a sound could be heard before or after he descended the stairs to the basement. It would be a few more trials till their next meeting and she wasn't going back in one either, as no human was ever selected more than once a "day" to allow their soul to recover. Still, he had no clue if it was his time to kill and the risk of her being found in the open by one of the others would be too annoying to deal with. Thankfully, the lockers were the perfect place to stash a body. Though to be safe, he jams a bone in the handles to keep her from opening it and running away.

"There. Sleep tight, darling."

(SOME TIME LATER)

Muffled murmuring tempts my mushy brain to wake from soft slumber. Such sounds, most likely from others around the fire after I died. Fuck'em. I'm too tired.

*CLANG-CLANG*

My eyes shoot open. That wasn't a sound made at camp. In fact, I can see I'm in a container of sorts. Fuck! I need to heal! I start the process of healing with Self-Care. Damn it! Why is it so slow?!

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I can't tell if that's just the Terror Radius going off like crazy or the pounding of my own heart about to explode in panic.

*CLANK*

I'm only healed enough to be maybe 30%, thanks the power of sleep, but that's not enough to get me to be fully healed.

"Rise and shine, darling. You've slept long enough."

The doors are flung open and Ghost Face snatches me by the hair as I try to scamper past. A rather harsh tug upwards has me roaring and snarling at the robo-fucker. Yet my flailing stops when the force of multiple auras comes down on my soul and I shiver at the many sets of eyes now on me.

"See? I wasn't lying. Our new member is right here."

They...They're here...All of them...All of them are here...All 16 monsters...I...I have no words.

"Say hello, darling. You don't want to be rude."

"what the fuck, shit-face?!"

Legion pushes his way through and part of me almost feels relieved to see him.

"i told you she's my plaything."

There goes that feeling and in record time.

"look what you did. she's all banged up and bloody. this is why you don't mess with other people's property."

...Excuse me?

"She's not yours, squirt. You haven't completed the Trials of Obsession. So till you do, darling here is fair game."

I want to punch them both even if the result is brutal stabbings. Wait...What are the Trials of Obsession?

"Both of you cease your foolishness."

Wraith steps up and slaps Ghost Face's hand, making him let me go.

"The lamb is one of us. Show her the same as we give each other."

They look at each other and then me.

"sounds fair."

Legion punches my shoulder and I hiss at him.

"welcome to the club, meat."

"Funny. I didn't think there was a way for you to beat meat."

There's this weird silence, mostly because I feel dumb for making a random masturbation pun in a room full of killers, and the looks aimed at me don't help. But then he snickers.

"heheh...fucking hell, meat...that was almost good enough not to be pissed off at you for...almost."

I shrug.

"Fair enough."

A low disappointed groan gets attention.

"IS THIS THE STANDARDS OF THE ENTITY NOW? PATHETIC."

Huh...Another skeleton? Neat. Wraith pulls me aside.

"Lamb, this is your superior. Trapper. Show him respect."

Aka...Mr. Grumpy Bones. This guy is tall. Wearing nothing more than dark red work boots, dark black with red trim overalls, and a twisted soulless scared mask that barely hides the glow of his red eyes. Hooks and metal shrapnel stab at his bare-bones. A thick brutal cleaver is held in his right hand while bear traps hang from his waist. No wonder he's agitated. That shit has to hurt. I bow my head.

"My apologies, Sir."

This calms him a bit. Though not much.

"*SCOFF* AT LEAST IT HAS MANNERS."

"It does help that the darling actually responds to us. Those other sacks of meat just ignore anything we say."

"Yeah, about that...I don't think they understand what any of you are saying. Like, at all."

I just had to chime in.

"Really?"

"They told me you guys couldn't talk and they had no clue what I was saying when I was a killer. So...I guess there's a language barrier of sorts."

"Huh...Explains a lot. Seems we have a new advantage! The meat thinks we're mindless beasts."

Well...Fuck. I messed that up.

"Maybe this faker is worth more than first thought."

This voice comes from an unamused, what looks like, a fish woman wearing a rabbit mask. The fuck? Her whole everything is confusing my brain. A thick torn sarafan that's black on the top while dull blue on the bottom, customized with pillaged soldier utility belts, dark pants, and she's barefoot. On top of that her skin is dark blue scales, odd fins stand out where her ears would be, the bottom of the mask doesn't cover her lower jaw so you can see a few scars, her long bright red hair is made dull with a black veil, one eye is blacked out while the other shimmers with gold, her teeth are like a shark's, her hands and feet are webbed. Her weapons? Small throwing hatches tucked on her waist and a traditional ax with a large heavy head. She is basically what you'd get if the creature from the black lagoon banged a lumberjack. She is the Huntress.

"So what? The bitch is still meat. I'm not going to see her as anything else."

So speaks up a rather odd sight. A ghost, kind of small but not really, wearing an old brown fedora and red with dull green strips sweater. I'd saw this fella wasn't all that spooky if he didn't have that bladed glove on his right hand or the strange way his ectoplasm causes his appearance to be mottled or the eerie death stare given by his cold dull eyes. This is Nightmare. And he is as messed up as his name.

"hAG like. Look yums."

As said, this is the Hag. A wild-looking thing she is. Their body is emaciated, dried skin deformed by insatiable hunger and lightly hinted with faint dirty white fuzz. She kind of looks like a dog mixed with a cat in some ways. The body is clearly dog but the face is a cat, yet has both pointy cat and flop dog ears. Her front paws are armed with fingers made into solid claws, perfect for rendering flesh. Her grey hair resembles a feathery mane and has a wreath of thorns worked into it. All that's left is the sky blue and yellow striped tunic that has seen much better days. She is simple. But oftentimes the deadliest things are.

"Bet that one there would make some mighty fine pudding."

Not sure I understand what Hillbilly means by that. But judging by some of their faces, eating humans isn't that big of a stretch. Hillbilly is a sad-looking thing. Less scary and more like concerned for its health. This light blue-furred rabbit-like monster has a red nose and a tuft of fur sprouting from the top of his head. He wears a dull dirty torn yellow short-sleeved shirt with a single vertical red stripe in the middle covers their twisted crooked skin, and dull red torn disheveled jeans. Almost looks like the rags of the unwanted farmhand. A brutal cattle hammer in one hand deals a sharp blow to the skull as the most effective manner of slaughter and in the other a hulking and motorized chainsaw of terrifying strength. Grinds through flesh, bone, and soul.

"Mmmm...Pudding."

This hulking brute is the Cannibal. The name says it all. An orange cat-like monster wearing a terrifying mask of dried human skin, with what looks like an M or something close to one etched on the forehead, stretched and stitched together. Tall with a bit of a gut who wears filthy pinkish-peach colored workman's clothes, a yellow bloodstained butcher's apron covers a dress shirt and dark slacks. He also has this dress tie that seems out of place yet nice and a strange charm bracelet on his left wrist. His weapons are similar to Hillbilly, a classic sledgehammer and aggressive looking chainsaw.

"*hack* If anything...She'll make for good practice. *cough*"

Now this one...This one disturbs me. The Clown. I hate clowns. And this guy is the sickest looking joke of them all. A bloated pig of a man, except he's no pig, this man is definitely some kind of goat. Tall with broad shoulders, a bulky body, a golden blond mane/beard, two large floppy ears, and two large curved horns. Eyes like coal with a small blue sheen. Face painted in a miserable smile. Wearing the attire of a much smaller ringmaster. Classic tailcoat with button-up shirt pushed far beyond its stretching point. Dirty purple with gold accents, large bow, buttons, a trick golden flower of some kind on the lapel, and suspenders with a comically big key ring holding severed human fingers. An oversize butterfly knife shaped like a bird's feather in one hand and bottle of brew in the other. I don't like this one. He scares me.

"❄☟☜☼☜ 🕈✋☹☹ 👌☜ ☠⚐ 🕯🏱☼✌👍❄✋👍☜🕯 ⚐☠ ❄☟☜ ☟🕆💣✌☠ ❄✋☹☹ ✌☞❄☜☼ ✋ ☟✌✞☜ 🏱☜☼💧⚐☠✌☹☹✡ ☼✌☠ ✌ ❄☟☼⚐🕆☝☟ ☜✠✌💣✋☠✌❄✋⚐☠📬 ✋ 🕈✋☹☹ 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎 🕈☟✌❄ 💣✌😐☜💧 ❄☟✋💧 ⚐☠☜ ❄✋👍😐📬" (THERE WILL BE NO 'PRACTICE' ON THE HUMAN TILL AFTER I HAVE PERSONALLY RAN A THROUGH EXAMINATION. I WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES THIS ONE TICK.)

I suspect this one to be the brains of the group. The Doctor. Yet another skeleton but not quite. The bones that I can see appear to be more fused, solid even and melded with wiring in a super painful way. His face is the most excruciating. The straps, hooks, wires, and electrodes being used to contort his skull to the point there's some fracturing of the bone. Donned in a sleeveless doctor's coat that has seen better days and normal dress-wear underneath. The implement of punishment in his hand is one I fail to comprehend. It's like a metal stick but the tip is pointed like a stake and the midsection is spiked while crackling with electrical power. Yeah...Me no like that either.

"Allow m-m-me to assist you, Doctor. If t-t-that's alright?"

The lady with the stutter is known as the Pig, though that seems to stem from her mask and not the kind of monster she is. The visible skin looks to be yellow and scaly, possibly reptilian? A rotting pig's head with runlets of blood trickling from its eye holes and nostrils, topped with long black messy hair though yellow spikes seem to poke through it. Her posture is somewhat hunched over. The attire is that a long, maybe white at some point but now red, bloody coat and dark pants. A razor-sharp blade, attached to a mechanical contraption on her right wrist can be concealed or extended at will. And under the coat, are tucked away death helmets known as Reverse Bear Traps what when used will pry the victim's jaw apart.

"Yeah. Let's CUT her APART! Bit by BIT!"

Spirit seems to be more unstable than most. She appears to be some sort of cat but her grey flesh doesn't look real, like plastic or some other synthetic material, as if she were a doll possessed. Her pink hair is wild and windswept, dancing in the dark. She lacks much in the form of noticeable lady bits which is good since shredded bloody pink bandages are all that's covering her chest and lower half. Her body is a mess. Cuts large and small, gashes, limbs completely severed, all sprinkled with shards of glass forced in places as if trying to escape. Large golden jingle bells dangle under each fluffy ear. Her milky eyes hold a small hint of emerald color. She is a sad sight to look at but not one without danger. The tip of a single-edged straight katana protrudes from the base of her right hand, in a swift motion, heads would roll from an unseen blow.

"Sacrifice! The Entity demands sacrifices! This dearie will appease the hunger!"

Well someone looks like they came from a time of blind god worship that didn't go so well. Meet the Plague, a spider monster with periwinkle or lavender skin that is being degraded by disease, five eyes, six arms, and two legs. A sacred crown worn to hide the affliction that slowly took this possibly ordained priestess, twin pigtails stick out the back along with the flow of her black locks. Imperial red and ruby robes woven from the finest silks, probably crafted for her to display her status. Golden chains, necklaces, and even sharp claw fingermail adorn her in accents. Her weapon is one unseen before and yet fitting of her look. A profane censer, an ancient-looking incense burner held aloft by a long heavy chain exudes the sweetest fragrances to mask the decay around her.

So many faces. So many means of death. Yet...One is missing Where is the one known as...?

".........."

A faint whisper pulls my attention before being actually pulled by an overly strong hand and I wince at the knowing bruise forming in such a grip on my upper arm. This has eyes pulled to watch as one of the Entity's most relentless monsters interact with me, the odd human. This is the Shape, a fire monster. An expressionless white latex Halloween mask covers his head but the hair has burned away to be topped by his orange flames. Everyday dark navy almost black workman overalls contain a living furnace of hell's own fire. An oversized kitchen knife with devastatingly sharp edges is all that is needed to end a life. His eyes. He has the blackest eyes. The devil's eyes. And the inferno shines within them. Yet...Why don't I feel in danger?

"Um...Hello."

He tilts his head.

"Would you kindly let go of my arm? Please? It hurts."

There's this silence and damn if it's awkward. But slowly, that bone-shattering hold loosens and I'm allowed to lightly cover the area. It's so weird. This feeling on my skin.

"So warm..."

Absentminded thought is absentminded.

"Thank you."

He merely stares down at me. Such a tall guy. Hell, everyone is bigger than me except Hag, Pig, Nurse, and Legion. The hand that once did warm proceeds to pat my head and I feel dumb enough to giggle.

"awww...how cute."

Legion mocks me but I choose to ignore him and pay attention to Shape.

"Sound's like someone's jealous."

Ghost Face teases.

"what?"

"With no effort at all, he already holds more favor than you and you saw her first."

Legion sneers and Ghost Face piles on.

"I suppose nothing you did was all that grand if something as simple as a head pat holds more weight."

"*snarls* fuck you."

"Oooh. I'm shaking. Such biting words."

"i'll show you biting!"

Legion storms over as Shape continues test touch me curiously, like what one does at a petting zoo, and the sudden movement of Legion has me unconsciously move closer to the man of flame. He suddenly slams me on a wall, his arm braced against my throat while his free hand grabs my face.

"who do you think you are?"

"*grunt* The hell is your problem?"

I should probably put up a struggle. But I'm in no mood. Besides, he's not even pressing as hard as he could. So I don't try to push him back.

"don't forget your place here, meat. and don't forget who you belong to."

I shake his hand off in annoyance.

"Dude, I'm gonna be real with you. I am in no position to piss anyone in this room off. That said, I am in no mood to deal with this kind of crap. So take this power play you're doing and shove up."

His sockets widen.

"What's wrong, Legion? Can't control a human?"

Huntress remarks.

"And to think he wants to claim obsession rights. What a joke."

Nurse cuts deep with that one. Legion gets more annoyed.

"if you think you'll get away with embarrassing me, you're wrong."

"Hey, man, we were cool till you did this. You're the guy doing dumb shit because of peer pressure."

The snickers and whispers in the background aren't helping him. It becomes too much.

"*sharp roar*"

I didn't feel the initial strike. I most likely wouldn't have known till feeling something else entirely. But then there's a twist in my side that brings more pain than can be ignored. Now I'm clawing at his arm for release.

"*growl* this is what you get. this is what you get for thinking you're...!"

"That's enough. Your point has been made."

Wraith and Shape each put a hand on Legion's shoulders.

"......"

"i am calm! she..."

"Did nothing and you know that."

"............"

Legion's eyes shift to look at the floor as if he's been scolded into realization.

"......."

"i'm not going to apologize."

"You don't have to."

A slow tug is made and his blade is removed, making me gasp louder than intended. Though instead of backing off, he leans in to my side and whispers.

"never forget who you belong to. who's name was craved on your chest. remember that. you are mine."

Feeling my limits being pressed after everything this questionable day has done, I'm not about to just take this. The second he gives me any slack, I grab his hoodie and get in his face, but keep my voice low.

"I know."

There's a slight growl to my words but it's not from any hostility. It's from pain and the struggle to keep standing when I should be on the ground. My words rattle him, making him shove me and in my current state I give in to my bodies will to fall. Just peachy. Stuck in an enclosed space with a ton of monsters and I'm in the dying state. Easy picking for any of them.

"💧☟☜ ☼☜💧✋💧❄☜👎 ❄☟☜ 👎✡✋☠☝ 💧❄✌❄☜📬 ☞✌💧👍✋☠✌❄✋☠☝📬" (SHE RESISTED THE DYING STATE. FASCINATING.)

"The lamb is...quirky."

"*grumble* This lamb is bleeding out. Not deaf."

My annoyance is noted but ignored. Shape scoops me up onto his shoulder. Oddly, even though my wound is still open, bleeding stops when picked up by a monster. It's a momentary fix to not dying.

"*strained* Thanks, big guy."

A slight nod was the reply. At least so far, one of them I'd consider possibly decent outside of trial.

"SO..."

Trapper's voice chimes in.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT?"

Wow. Really dude? Am I so beneath you that you don't see me as a person? Whatever. He does make a good point. What are they going to do? Other than killing me.

"✌💧 💣☜☠❄✋⚐☠☜👎 👌☜☞⚐☼☜📪 ✋ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 ☹✋😐☜ ❄⚐ 💧❄🕆👎✡ ☟☜☼ 🕈☟✋☹☜ ❄☟☜ ⚐🏱🏱⚐☼❄🕆☠✋❄✡ ✋💧 ☝✋✞☜☠📬" (AS MENTIONED BEFORE, I WOULD LIKE TO STUDY HER WHILE THE OPPORTUNITY IS GIVEN.)

I take it I'm just being ignored as a living being as they contemplate among themselves on what to do with me. Oh well...Might as well try something crazy. I tap Shape and he looks at me. I say not a word. Merely motion to the stairs. I don't expect much. But I hope for some pity. He just stares at me and that unnerving stare has me shiver even when surrounded by his heat. Yet slowly he starts to make his way to leave. Sadly, this movement doesn't go unseen.

"hey, buddy, it's not nice to take what doesn't belong to you."

Oh my god, give me a fucking break! Shape looks at Legion, the others, then me, and then back to Legion.

".........."

"yeah, sure, whatever. just hand her over."

Wait what? Shape starts to hand me over to Legion and I hear internal glass shattering from my broken hope of escape.

"*strained* No...No, no, no, no, no! I thought we were cool, big guy! I thought we were cool!"

"don't whine. it won't make things better."

Now in Legion's grasp, I officially give up.

"*strained* Just...make it quick. Whatever it is."

"geez. killjoy much?"

I see a small opportunity and my brain says to take it before going completely dead.

"*strained* Kill Joy? I don't even know her."

It's a terrible joke. The kind that makes even people on laughing gas cringe. Yet...I feel him chuckle. He doesn't make the sound but his shoulders rock with mirth.

"☹☜☝✋⚐☠📬 👌☼✋☠☝ 💣☜ ❄☟☜ ☟🕆💣✌☠📬" (LEGION. BRING ME THE HUMAN.)

I sigh and shut my eyes. I don't want to see anything more than what I have to of this crap.

"yeah...no."

Say what now?

"☠⚐✍" (NO?)

"you heard me, doc."

"✡⚐🕆 ✋☠💧⚐☹☜☠❄ ☹✋❄❄☹☜ 💧☟✋❄📬 ✡⚐🕆 🕈✋☹☹ ⚐👌☜✡ ✡⚐🕆☼ 👌☜❄❄☜☼✏" (YOU INSOLENT LITTLE SHIT. YOU WILL OBEY YOUR BETTER!)

I open my eyes in time to see Legion flipping Doctor off.

"i think i've made myself clear. she's mine. if you want to do anything with her, you have to find her in the trials or...beg me for permission."

The rational part of me knows he's just asserting himself with this move. But the dumb hopeful part of me is thinking maybe this will be okay. A sudden jerk and he's sprinting up the stairs. This skeleton continues to amaze me. There's a commotion from the others, the few that bother to attempt chasing Legion, though once he boosts it becomes painfully clear that they're not going to keep up and stop. It's also clear that we're not anywhere anymore. My only guess is this is the space of the fog, the place between the realms the Entity made.

"*strained* I think you lost them."

He faintly looks over his empty shoulder yet keeps his fast pace.

"even if it seems that way, don't believe it. some of them..."

"*strained* Can teleport, become invisible, and hide their terror radius? Yeah, I know."

"heh...one minute you know nothing and the next you do. what changed?"

"*strained* The Entity mind raped me."

"...okay..."

Probably not the best choice of words on my end.

"*strained* Where are we going?"

He doesn't answer.

"*strained* Dude, give me a break. I've been stabbed multiple times, chased, beaten, abducted, and killed all in what feels like hours. The least you can do is tell me where you're going."

Again, he says nothing.

"*strained scoff* Typical. You don't see me. Just something to use. Damn it...Why do I always think the best of others when time and time again I'm proven wrong? You're no different than everyone else."

This has him skid to a dead stop.

"what did you say?"

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm gonna regret life even more? He tosses me off his shoulder and now I know I fucked up.

"i am nothing like them!"

He kicks me hard in the gut. My wound pours out more in response. I won't last long at this rate.

"*strained coughs* Ow...*sputter* real mature..."

"shut up!"

He proceeds to stomp his heel into my back repeatedly.

"you don't know a damn thing about me! don't fucking think for a second that you're better! you're no different than any other shitty human! you're not special! nobody cares about you! do you hear me?! nobody!"

It's getting so cold. The puddle forming around my body is outrageous. But karma is funny in a douchy way. He slips in the puddle while adjusting his stance and falls flat on his back...however...this makes his non-stomping foot kicks me point-blank in the face. Lights out instantaneously.

...

{bones? are you okay?}

{dumbass. the fuck were ya thinking?}

{i thought we were to keep her away from the others so we could inform her of the trial rights. not kill her. though great use of technique on brutality.}

Bones shakes his head. A fog clouded his judgment. Looking to the bloody body on the ground, he is fairly sure she's dead and the size of the puddle around her only makes it seem like he's right. Yet...she's still there and not fading into the darkness. Either she's resisting or there's still some time before she completely bleeds out. Going with the latter, he collects the girl and just barely feels the shallow breaths leaving her.

"*sigh* fuck my life."

{what happened?}

{he fucking snapped, genius. the fuck do ya think happened?}

He ignores the question to continue walking.

"boo."

{y-yes?}

"when we get back to base, i want you to take control and deal with the human when she wakes up."

{what?!}

{m-me? why me?}

{yeah, why ya putting the baby in charge for this?}

"simple. he won't do something stupid."

{like you did?}

"fuck you. chops, you'd do worse than me and you know it."

{meh.}

"and dead-eye...well...you'd kill her if the mood hit."

{you are not wrong.}

"it's settled. boo, you chat her up and get her on our side. it'll make getting those dumb rights easy."

{okay, bones. but, uh, are you sure you can't do it? she's never met me. what if she freaks out?}

{oh my god! grow a spine, you fucking pussy!}

{he has a point. you can not show uncertainty to humans. they will use it against you and we can never lose the fear we hold over them.}

{plus, scaring those bitches is fun as hell.}

{that too.}

That earns a snicker from the leader.

"just be yourself, boo. besides...i get the feeling her waking up to see me won't end well."

{yeah. ya fucked up.}

{big time.}

"alright, i get it! i don't need heckling from you dorks."

{dorks? us?}

{we aren't the moron that's stabbing our meal ticket to getting respect to death like a dumb fuck.}

"that! that shit right there is why you assholes don't get the body more often."

{if that's the case, why don't i get the body more?}

"shut up, boo!"

{o-okay.}

"and there's your answer."

{oh...ah man.}

Bones shakes his head. The fog slowly giving way to snow. Mount Ormond Resort begins to come into view as Bones starts to change. The color of his clothing altering to lighter blue hues, the binds of tape melting away, and a bow made with a long scarf tied around the waist looks like a target on his back. It's time for a new take on things. Perhaps Boo can salvage the plan. Here's hoping the human will take to him better than Bones.

[skarletterambles]

Gods of Egypt reaction blog

As a fan of both Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and ancient Egypt, I had to watch this movie.  It’s a hideous mess of whitewashing, incorrect mythology and WTFery, but I got it from the library so no money went toward it.

Random thoughts typed while watching are below.

[Warning:  Spoilers ahead, plus a mention of rape and victim blaming.]

So I guess we’re not going with the original story in which Set chopped Osiris to bits and scattered them so Isis had to track down her husband’s reproductive organs to conceive Horus.  I bet nobody ejaculates into each other’s food as a power move, either.  Tsk.  (Seriously, though, that’s for the best.  I have complaints about the accuracy of the mythology in this film, but some Hollywood adaptation isn’t necessarily a bad thing...)

Oh, the irony of Nikolaj playing a lionslayer instead of, well...the Lion of Lannister...is hilarious.

Yikes, they really, really whitewashed this shit, didn’t they?  Holy cow.  (That wasn’t intended to be a Hathor pun, but if fits...)

At least they made Thoth black, even if he does talk like Data from Star Trek.  Isis was like, “Did you ever imagine your pupil would become king?”  Uh, he’s the king’s only son, you don’t have to be the God of Wisdom to predict that.  Duuuuuuh.

OMG Gerard Butler is keeping his Scottish accent for this role.  He’s dialed it back somewhat, but it’s definitely still there.  WTF LMAO

“I will be the one true king of all Sparta...errrr, I mean, Egypt!”

And he’s like, “You have to be rich to enter the afterlife from now on.”  Since when does Set have any say in that?

I was hoping their animal forms would look cool, not metallic bodysuits ripped from Transformers.  What a letdown.  

At least this eye-gouging was significantly less gross than the ones on Game of Thrones.

*insert jokes about Set overcompensating for something with the huge obelisk to Ra*

Bek was like, “Derrrr, gee, I’ve got this blinding artifact holding my enemies at bay.  I could flee immediately, or I could be a TOTAL IDIOT and take a few seconds to kiss my girlfriend first instead.”

“Death is not the end,” says the generic doe-eyed love interest.  No, no, no, it’s “Death is only the beginning,” and it was a MUCH better movie’s tag line! This pile of crap cannot steal it!

Okay, Anubis looks kind of cool.  So do the giant scarab beetle mounts.

OMG this is dumb.  It just is.  Let’s fly to a freaking space station without any kind insulation or oxygen.  Horus, I can understand, since, y’know, magic, gods, etc.  But the mortal dweeb?  No.  He should have frozen and suffocated.

Geoffrey Rush is Ra?  What?  Whyyyyy???  He’s done such amazing stuff in his career.  How much did they have to pay him to do this?

Oh look, the Earth is flat after all!  *shocked emoji*

I’m not sure what reaction they were going for with Gerard Butler flying around on a sled pulled by giant beetles, but I bet snorting laughter wasn’t it.

So the other gods and goddesses are either 100% human-looking, or in their metallic animal forms, but Nepthys has pretty wings in human form.  Okay.  Sure.  All the rules are made up.

Scaling up the gods to be bigger than mortals was a neat idea, but I don’t know if it was worth the amount of CG that it must have required.

Did we need random bullet-time moments while Horus fights the metal bull men?  No.  No we did not.

These gods aren’t that powerful, if being pushed off a waterfall almost kills them.  I know, I know, they’re playing it up that Horus is not as powerful without his other eye, but come on.

Am I supposed to know who these two women are with Set?  One black, one albino?

Since when does Hathor have anything to do with the dead and the Afterworld?  And come on, you cowards, let her turn into a giant silver cow to fight!  She had one slightly bovine-looking tiara early on, but otherwise there was no sign of her true nature.  Harumph.

Oh, the black and white women ride giant fire-breathing cobras.  Of COURSE!  Makes total sense.  (WTF??????)

Hathor:  You should tell the mortal the truth about his dead lover. Horus:  No, I refuse. [Bek, who is walking like ten feet behind them:  Tell me what? Horus:  Oh shit.  I forgot you were back there.]

The Sphinx doesn’t really look like a Sphinx, but okay.  Did it just say “Oh, bother” like freaking Winnie the Pooh?  LOL!

Set just stole Thoth’s brain.  Rude!

The wings of Nepthys, the mind of Thoth, the heart of Osiris, the eye of Horus...by your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET! 

And the most predictable patricide in cinematic history in 3...2...1...stabby stabby!  *golfclap*

Forecast for this afternoon, 80% chance of Apophis destroying creation...

Instead of a golden hand, here Nikolaj has golden EVERYTHING.

Horus is like, “That darn mortal had to go and be mortal.  Tsk.  I knew there was a reason I didn’t hang out with their kind.”

But literal deus ex machina to the rescue, Grandpa Ra (that rhymes!) fixes everything.

And they all lived happily ever after.  I guess.

What the actual fuck did I just watch?

I mean, it kept my interest.  Nikolaj was by far the highlight, as he was giving his all at playing Horus, despite the absurdity of it all.  So it wasn’t entirely horrible, but it wasn’t what I’d call good, either.

The CGI was really hit or miss.  The fire effects, Apophis, the collapsing sand pyramid, and the scenery was cool.  The bull-headed soldiers, the gods’ mech outfits, and some of the magic effects were...not as good.

Perhaps paradoxically, the plot was both predictable and hard to follow at times.  I mean, the major story beats were predictable, but the details of what MacGuffin they needed to take where for what reason got convoluted.

The female characters were cardboard and passive, existing mostly as eye candy and prizes to be captured by the men.  Hathor had a few decent story beats, but the narrative also glossed over the fact that she was kept as Set’s sex slave for years, and had Horus be annoyed that she didn’t escape to return to him, so...yeah.  She regained some agency toward the end but even then it was the self-sacrificing kind.  Meh.

I think the movie would have been better if it was just a sci-fi/fantasy world, without the ties to Egyptian mythology.  It’s not like they were going for accuracy with their depictions of the myths, or put in Easter eggs for lore buffs to catch.

Honestly, the more the movie went on, the less I noticed the painful amount of whitewashing, because it was so loosely based on actual Egyptian mythology that I sometimes forgot that’s what it was supposed to be.  It was just a generic sci-fi/fantasy adventure story with a bunch of white people (and a couple black people) in it.  The vibe was more Graeco-Roman than Egyptian at times (for which I partly blame Gerard Butler’s costumes).  I was expecting more attempts at authenticity.

That doesn’t mean that the whitewashing wasn’t egregious, because it really was, and there’s just no excuse for it.  That was the most serious flaw in the film, but definitely not the only one.

I’m glad I saw the movie since now I have an informed opinion about it, and Nikolaj is fun to watch, but it’s like a 3/10 overall.

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 5 & 6 (Part 1)

So, yeah, the Steam version of Chiru’s out, but for the time being, I’m gonna stick to making my posts off of the original Witch Hunt/UmiTweak release, the main reason being that I’m already partway through Ep6. There’s also the voice acting, which I think adds a great deal to the story.

Once I get to Ep7, I’ll probably switch to the Steam release. Hopefully that doesn’t take too long, especially since I want to keep up with Rokkenjima’s Chiru Tea Parties alongside this, but... We’ll see, I guess!

Anyways. If I recall correctly, these chapters feature Erika wasting her time arguing with a 9-year-old and being even more dense than Battler used to be? Fun times inbound!

The chapter opens with Shannon talking about how she used to be “a bit of a klutz” “back then” - forgetting where she left something, or forgetting to lock a door/cabinet/whatever. It’s funny - despite how relatively insignificant this information is (especially since we’ve seen Shannon being a bit clumsy in earlier Eps), it’s good at strengthening the connection between Yasu in her story in Ep7 and what Shannon was like when she was younger.

that sentence was kind of a mess but i hope you understand what i mean

Battler asks her how she got over her forgetfulness, and Shannon explains that she got in the habit of taking notes about where she put things and such. Again, pretty minor, but it brings to mind Yasu tying a string around her keyring...

Erika interrupts, asking flat-out if she’s seen Beatrice or not. Shannon says, “I didn’t see her directly, but... umm... some very strange things did happen...”

The narrative mentions that she’s thinking of “a certain summer night,” and then jumps to the two Beatos wandering the mansion at night. “From Shannon’s perspective, it was a ghost story. From the witch’s perspective... it was just the story of a little summer’s night prank...”

Elder explains the concept of “anti-magic toxin” to Chick. She says something interesting here, and I’m not entirely sure how to parse it - “One thing we do have in our favour is the fact that our existence is still extremely weak. Because of that, the toxin does not affect us greatly.”

In magic terms, I think what she means is that it can’t cause the two of them as much pain as it’s shown to cause for, say, characters like the Stakes or Sakutarou in Ep4. In mundane terms... hmm. Maybe that, since the ghost stories about the witch haven’t really taken hold yet, people are less desperate to argue against them? I’m really not sure.

“[Chick] had thought that she wasn’t a witch because she couldn’t use magic, but apparently, she was still a witch nonetheless.”

Elder mentions that not only being seen, but “being heard or sensed can also result in contact with the toxin.” Basically, any cause for suspicion that “the witch’s actions” have a “human culprit” is damaging.

Chick wonders internally why she wasn’t burnt by Battler’s toxin. Meta gonna meta? The anti-magic toxin’s never really seemed to be “a thing” in the Meta-World - it’s more of a gameboard construct.

“Simply put, as we are now, we can only exist when humans aren’t around...”

Elder is awestruck at the idea of being able to appear openly in front of humans. “Is that what we will eventually become?”

Pretty reflective of how Yasu would’ve felt, I imagine. When she started with her little witch pranks, I doubt she could’ve imagined them growing to encompass the entire island the way they did.

“Hmmm, how inspiring. If that is our future, it means that all of our hard work will have been worth the effort.” okay that one hurts

And then Chick asks how those efforts relate to what they’re currently doing - unlocking windows behind the mansion’s servants, lol. Elder explains that the fact the window was unlocked even though “there’s no one in the hallway” is proof of their existence, and of their magic.

“Of course, it wasn’t just small pranks like opening a window. She could also smash windows and vases, or leave behind strange fires and mysterious scribbles.” YASU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

“One day, I will... no, we will become a single witch and control all of Rokkenjima... When that time comes, we will gain complete freedom and will be capable of stretching our wings as we please.”

And Chick realizes the reason she could appear in front of Battler so openly is because at this point, he fully believes in the witch’s existence and doesn’t have any anti-magic toxin to speak of. HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED

In Featherine’s study, meanwhile, Ange and Featherine discuss the Beatos’ logic. It basically comes down to the fact that they’ve - Yasu’s - created an atmosphere where anything strange happening on the island is blamed on the witch.

“The servants might have forgotten to lock [the window], or one of the family might have opened it after the servants had locked up and forgotten to shut it again, or maybe someone had played a prank. In the same way that none of those possibilities could be denied... it was also impossible to deny the possibility that a witch really had opened a window to enjoy the night breeze...”

“That’s one of the foundations of magic. Decorating... the process.”

Ange acknowledges that “good magic” really does exist. Featherine says, “The power to repel evil magic may be necessary for a child of man. However, it is the nature of love in the human world that it does not burn away and defile love-filled magic.”

Ange concludes that “Beatrice” isn’t a person’s name, but the name of a phenomenon - that anything strange that happens at night is blamed on the witch. “That all piles up until we reach 1986... This is the veil that the true culprit is hiding behind. And the person hiding behind it is, without a doubt, a human.”

Featherine contends that she can’t stick to that argument “to fight all the way through 1986,” and Ange doesn’t have a response. The narrative jumps back to the gameboard, where presumably Shannon’s just detailed the window being unlocked on that night.

...And Erika, being Erika, says that it was just because someone forgot to lock the window.

Shannon mentions that it happened many times over (which she’d know, of course), and Erika calls her an idiot. I really can’t stand her in this episode, I’m sorry...

Everyone else chimes in to support Shannon, but Erika turns to pointing the finger at the servants as a group. THE IRONY......

She concludes with, “Of course there’s no way Beatrice exists,” and “This delusion of a Golden Witch Beatrice [...] is completely impossible,” which angers Maria. here we fuckin go

Maria states that she’s met Beato (which she has), and that Beato shows her magic all the time. Erika asks her to explain in detail. Seriously, this girl...

The other cousins try calming the situation down, but Erika throws out all pretenses of being polite (again) to challenge Maria. Meta breaks in, and Maria appears in her witch outfit.

Erika invites her to reproduce the magic, and Dlanor appears to tell her, “This battle is not worth FIGHTING.” AT LEAST ONE OF YOU HAS A GOOD HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS

At any rate, ridiculous red/blue truth battle ensues. I really don’t have a lot to say about this and formatting the text colours is a pain, so...

During it, though, Erika says, “All truths are nothing more than claims! So, I’ll make a claim separate from yours and smash right through yours!! That is the detective’s duty, and the time we shine the mooooost!!” I think this is a good line to use to reflect on why I don’t like Erika in this episode.

In Episode 5, she has very apparent narrative functions - she’s a detective like Battler is, but ultimately, she’s very much an antithesis of him. She’s a ruthless deconstruction of the mystery/detective fiction genre in general, and she’s a guide on “what not to do” to solve the mystery. She’s also, ultimately, the metaphorical kick in the pants Battler needs to really try solving Beato’s riddle properly, and a parody of the Mary Sue character, by way of literally being Bern’s self-insert. She fulfills all of these purposes quite well, while being an entertaining character at the same time.

In Ep6, though? True, she still functions as a deconstruction of the genre, and as an example of how ignoring the heart of the story leaves you unable to solve it, but... I feel like the former’s kinda old hat at this point, and the latter isn’t done particularly well? Ryukishi (and Battler, I suppose) kinda smack us over the head with that point in this episode, with Erika just shrugging off the love duel getting so much attention and Battler flat-out asking her what her problem is.

On top of that, we’ve got the contrast between her being an absolutely horrible person like she was in Ep5 with an attempt at humanizing her by giving her some sort of tragic backstory involving a cheating boyfriend (that doesn’t really make much sense for a 14-year-old girl, but I digress). I realize the two sides of her match with Umineko’s theme of contradictory options both being true (the culprit being a witch or a human, for instance), but in this case, they don’t mesh well for me at all. Her cruelty is too dramatically overblown for me to take her seriously as anything but either Bern’s self-insert or a parody of the genre, but Ep6 tries using her as a character to convey an important point - her spiel about love making people “see things that aren’t there.”

On top of that, she’s painted as being a “rival” to Battler, when... I never really felt like that was the case? Sure, in Ep5, they do kinda feel that way, but ultimately, Beato is still his rival, and strictly speaking, Erika’s not his “main enemy,” either - Bernkastel and Lambdadelta are. Even though Erika’s given a focus, I don’t feel like that changes in Ep6, either - Bern is the one throwing a fit about losing, while Erika is just kinda going “Yes, master!” the whole time. She feels... more like a device than a character to me, sometimes, y’know?

That’s not to say that her presence is meritless, though. She provides some top quality humour and memeing, and the ending of the episode is phenomenal. Just, overall, I don’t really care for her here.

Anyways. Erika and Maria continue yelling at each other, yada yada yada.

“Let it be known that this fight has no point...” gertrude is on point

Erika does the magic, screeches about how Maria’s a moron, etc. etc.

“...Sheesh!! Just one more step and I’d have been able to take a heart as innocent as the smooth sand just after a wave has pulled back and tear it to bits. ...What a shame. This isn’t fun anymore.” She also gives the most insincere apology ever for “tearing a kid’s dreams apart.” 

Back on the board, she gives another “apology” of “I’m still just a kid.” Maybe I’m guilty of not looking at her with love, but fucking hell this girl.

Maria stops crying and starts cackling instead, proclaiming herself as Beatrice’s apprentice. Erika says, “Let’s fight in a more satisfying game next time.” Maria says sure.

The cousins and Shannon leave, heading upstairs to play cards, and then Kumasawa enters. Erika asks her about the stories of Akujikishima and the witch of the forest, offering to get her a drink as well. With that, the chapter ends.

The next chapter opens on George and Shannon in the rose garden arbour, where George comments that he “can’t seem to get along well with kids these days,” about Erika. don’t worry jooji you are not the only one

“I think kids around Erika-san’s age have a really hard time accepting themselves,” says Shannon. This is... oddly painful, considering that Shannon’s given age is 16, meaning she “would’ve been 14” when Yasu solved the epitaph...

George comments that when he was around that age, “I was a weak, deplorable man who didn’t deserve any respect.” ouch

Y’know, I think it’s fair to say that my opinion of George has changed a lot in the 2 years or so since I started this blog. I think he genuinely tries to be a good person, even if he’s passive-aggressive and self-centred - I honestly don’t think he realizes it a lot of the time. To be clear, I don’t mean his twisting of the knife when young Yasu was in tears over Battler leaving - that was intentional and pretty fucking gross on his part. I mean his behaviour in/around 1986 - his focus on what his relationship with Shannon does for him, him shrugging off her concerns and talk about magic... I don’t think there’s any “intent” there (though whether or not that makes it better or worse is debatable) - I think the effects of it just slip right under his radar.

It still makes me kind of ill to see how he responds to Shannon’s furniture complex, but, again - I don’t think it’s because he “doesn’t care” or anything like that; I think his thinking is that if it were something really, truly serious, Shannon would be up-front about it.

That’s absolutely not to put the onus on Yasu for not explaining her situation to him - considering the weight of everything she had on her shoulders, from her identity issues to her body to her blood, I don’t feel comfortable at all with blaming her for not speaking up. It’s been a while since I read the Ep8 manga scans, but I seem to recall that George and Jessica express that sentiment at one point in the Golden Land, too.

I think, ultimately, George’s chief sin is the same as Battler’s - he just doesn’t really think about how what he says or does is impacting the woman closest to him. The key differences are that 1) since we follow Meta-Battler throughout the series, we’re able to see his character develop, from angrily refusing to see things from Beato’s perspective to eventually throwing his life away for her, whereas with George, we... don’t, and 2) even on first read-through, Beato is a lot more... inscrutable, if you will, than Shannon is. Even if we don’t know the depth of what Shannon’s trouble about, it’s easy to tell that something about George’s family talk bothers her, whereas with Beato (in part because the story’s usually told from Battler’s perspective), a lot of her reactions only really make sense in hindsight, even when she’s clearly upset (e.g. Battler rejecting her presentation of Beatrice II’s story in Ep3, and her reaction to Battler’s failed confession in Ep4).

Maybe I’m just stating the obvious here, who knows! Point is, while George definitely grates on my nerves at times, I don’t really hate the guy. He’s just as human as the rest of the cast, and as one of Yasu’s main male love interests, his flaws are often quite visible.

Anyways! At Shannon’s questioning, George admits that the reason he resolved to grow up and become a “splendid adult” wasn’t just because of love for Shannon. He starts going into some of his insecurities, about how he used to be “afraid” of “interacting with women,” and how he didn’t even recognize them at the time.

Huh, Shannon’s oddly confident during this exchange again. She makes a comment about understanding how George felt when it comes to trying to get noticed by the opposite sex, and when he prods her for details, instead of clamming up and blushing like we’d expect, she smiles and says “Of course.” I’m not quite sure how to word it beyond this, but I can really feel Tohya’s love for Yasu coming through here... quite strongly, at that.

And George admits that the turning point for him was how envious he was of Battler and how close he was to Shannon. George prepares to confess...

...And Ange breaks in to throw a jab at Featherine for watching the two of them. lol

“Stories of love are truly timeless. I never tire of them... However, I do find that expression of virgin disgust on your face even more charming...” LOL

At any rate, George admits to looking down on Battler and Jessica when they were younger, and thinking that they’d never be able to find a partner because of how brash they are, as well as using that thinking to distract himself from his own inability to find a girlfriend. Featherine cuts in, commenting that Battler and Jessica “have the power to interact without worrying about their sexes.”

Ange says, “People like Onii-chan and Jessica onee-chan can get along with anyone whether that person’s a boy or a girl... I hate to say it, but I find guys who act too polite... a bit creepy. It’s like they’re virgins trying too hard or something...” ange has 0 chill

George says that at one of the family conferences, he realized that the servant girls - particularly Shannon - were getting along with Battler and Jessica a lot better than with him. “Sickening, isn’t it? ...I just assumed that you liked me, and even had some childish fantasy that we might end up dating. I felt as though my girlfriend had been stolen from me and let myself feel hurt.”

He admits to trying to emulate Battler and Jessica by "joking around and speaking rudely.” That’s... an interesting mental image, and Shannon says as much!

“The reason I had no charm was because of my cowardice. Under the pretense of respecting people and acting to fit in with the general atmosphere... I was always running away. [...] ...I made an oath. This time, I would really make you take notice of me, and I would be reflected in your eyes... Actually, that’s the first thing I felt when I fell in love with you.”

I have to give George credit here - confessing to something like that takes a lot of guts. I don’t think it’s something many people could do very easily, even in private like this. Having said that, and I hate to be critical of him now of all times, I think that this is really the core of most of his problems.

He was so dedicated to “being reborn,” and takes such pride in “succeeding,” that I don’t think he’s capable of taking a look at himself and realizing he’s still got a lot of growing to do on his own. I don’t think that’s something specific to him, either - I think just about everyone has a period like that at some point. The unfortunate thing about George, though, is that he’s surrounded by people who don’t encourage him to take a critical look at himself - Eva and Hideyoshi, I think, are too close to him and too proud of him to realize it, while Shannon, if anything, usually ends up enabling him to keep acting the way he does. The result is that he never really gets a chance to move past that.

“...Sounds pretty... complicated.” lol shannon

“On that day, my desire for revenge against the two of you who ignored me and played together... no, against you alone... suddenly transformed into true love.” Even already knowing how he really felt about Battler leaving the family six years ago, George admitting to resenting Shannon like that sends a shiver down my spine - not because of how gross of an emotion that is (I think, while it’s certainly not pretty, it’s a very human response, in a way), but because he’s able to confess to it. Again, even if he’s pretty rough around the edges at times... George really is strong, in his own way.

“However, I swear this to God. Even though that was the reason I first started to take you seriously... there are no lies in the way I feel about you now. I swear to love you for all my life. I will not lie about that for anyone or anything. And I am prepared to take you as my wife, even if it means having the entire world as my enemy.”

I can only imagine how precious hearing that must be for Yasu...

George starts to say something about how he lied about Shannon being his “first love,” and she forcefully interrupts him. “Is there some rule saying that people can’t get together just because they weren’t each other’s first love? Is it betrayal to forget the first person you fell in love with...?”

“Love... isn’t that simple. Well... it might be simple... After all, love is easy. ...Always, whatever you feel now... only the honest feelings you feel now can tell you the right answer. So, things of the past or how our relationship started aren’t important at all.”

George thanks her, saying, “I was only able to become who I am because of you.” Shannon replies likewise, and asks him to describe the “kind of future we will build together.”

He starts out talking about how he wants to succeed as a businessman, then says it right-out: “Let’s have some kids.”

Shannon’s reaction here is markedly different from any other episode - she laughs, and says, “Yes, my husband.” He paints a vivid picture of a big family, “surrounded by many children and grandchildren.”

I hate to say it, but... I really can’t parse this scene from the perspective of something that actually happened on the board. Even if Battler gave her a new lease on life like I speculated, the weight of everything Yasu was dealing with... I can’t see her responding so readily to George’s family talk like this. I mean, I guess Shannon as a character might, but any other time it’s brought up, Yasu’s terrified of what might happen when George finds out the truth.

At any rate, George gives her the ring... and says, “I swear to resolutely stand against any fate which may attempt to get in the way of our future.”

He talks about how he’s ready to leave the family if worst comes to worst, and Shannon repeats his sentiments about standing against fate. Hmmm...

And then meta breaks in again, and Erika asks Battler when the murders are going to start. He just tells her to shut up and watch. lmao

Really though, right now she’s even worse than Battler used to be in the first four Episodes. While he might’ve shrugged off a lot of Beato’s fantasy scenes in a similar manner, he was rarely this rudely dismissive of them, and he at least recognized that he’d upset Beato somehow when he was (Beatrice II’s backstory in Ep3). erika is a 0/10 detective

Erika realizes that Battler’s pitying her for whatever reason, and asks him to shut the fuck up when he calls her “sad”.

“I can’t understand you at all right now. What on Earth did you figure out? Weren’t you and Beato always insulting and trying to kill each other? ...What kind of truth could you have reached to make you change your emotions regarding her? ...Please don’t tell me that feelings of true love have sprouted from your murderous rivalry or anything like that, okay?”

As much as I still can’t stand Erika in this episode, I can’t help but read her as a standin for some readers here. Battler’s sudden shift in attitude at the end of Ep5 was incredibly baffling on first read-through, and I found myself wondering the same thing as she is here (though not as coldly as this).

Back on the board, Shannon returns to the servant room in the guesthouse. Kanon immediately notices the ring on her finger.

“...So, it’s my turn next.” ooooo

[mild-lunacy]

Sherlock, Irene and the Alien Girlfriend Trope

I don't wanna write this post... and the fact is, it's still not a natural reading of canon for me, but I think I like challenging myself to go deeper and deeper into the dark and the damp. As I said in my post-S4 meta on Sherlock's sexuality, I can't actually see Sherlock/Irene in the show even when I try to and suppose I should be able to, but I have to believe the intent was straightforward in the interviews about Irene, at least insofar as the acting. I'm thinking of the recent pre-S4 mention by Ben C, where he says Sherlock has a 'private life' with her to some degree. Given that I take Mofftiss' old interviews seriously (like I said recently), I suppose you could argue it follows we're meant to consider Sherlock ambiguously (but not really *romantically*) involved with Irene ever since ASiB-- in a very limited sense, anyway.

In other words, I imagine taking that texting reference in TLD seriously only makes sense if he'd texted her every now and then (not particularly often) but ever since the beginning. That would mean he'd done it in TSoT, for example, and that's why she showed up in his Mind Palace with all those other women he was intending to interview. So what do I think about that?

Like, remember that in ASiB, HLV and even TLD Sherlock thinks romantic entanglement isn't for him, and is 'human error', at least on the personal level. Any secret fluffy romance is out. So if any involvement exists, it's... maybe mildly sexually flavored teasing and a bit of chat, essentially much like what John was doing with Eurus. Oh, irony. Anyway, I still think it's weird, and almost completely unsupported. I don't even know how to respond (once I dissociate from my more intense emotions, I mean), because usually I need something to work with besides the suggestion there's something I don't know about, essentially. I mean, I think Sherlock respects her and finds her interesting... sexy would be a huge stretch. He's more likely to be flattered by the attention. However, I have to at least consider that Eurus asks that about him not being a virgin 'cause he's not... and it's related to the texting. Somehow.

Am I supposed to think about this so skeptically? I don't know, but considering that I like plenty of het couples, I can say with some confidence that I simply need something to work with before I find a romance or even attraction truly plausible for a character like Sherlock, and that's not asking for too much. This is *Sherlock*. You can't just hand-wave it or leave the audience to fill in the blanks when his very inscrutability and unsuitability for relationships has been a major refrain up to and including TLD. Anyway, note that I'm not suddenly accepting Ben C's statements as 'canon' -- I'm just taking them seriously and following the logical consequences to see where it leads. And seriously, it's hard to credit. If I force myself, I can imagine Sherlock's endless curiosity and bravado leading him to experiment once with Irene after he rescued her, and then texting. But with literally nothing to go on... and my conviction he's much more sentimental about other people than that, given he'd been a virgin *before* Irene, I can't do it. The main reason is my conviction we should be able to *tell*, because he would have changed his attitude or behavior somehow. After all, Sherlock's disconnection and its connection to romantic entanglement is a long-running theme, though we usually associate it with Johnlock, as most recently listed in @balancingprobability's post. You can't really resolve all that without consequences with Irene, either. So, I have to assume that he'd never consummated the relationship if it exists.

Besides that issue, I can't put a woman-- or The Woman-- into the box essentially reserved for Jim Kirk's 'alien planet only' girlfriend in Star Trek TOS. I mean that it seems unnatural to me to do out of any context, though I have to consider that the narrative may support it or indeed that could be the intent. That is, I have to imagine Irene Adler as a person who only really matters at all in a very narrow context, there and nowhere else. A brief vacation to carnal pleasure and/or ambiguously romantic interest, until it's time to go home to the Enterprise (and Spock-- or John, in this case). With Jim, at least it fits his personality; there's a reason Spock only did that when he lost his memory. It's not something you can casually insert for Spock, and so it never happened. Sherlock is much more like Spock than Jim Kirk, obviously. I don't really know how it works in Ben C's mind. The magic of heterosexuality at work?

This does appeal to me in one way, and that's just that I was never comfortable saying Irene's *only* function is metaphoric or representative of Sherlock's feelings. That sort of meta-only approach to characterization is just not very Mofftiss. Irene is a real person, so Sherlock has to have some actual relationship to her actual self and an actual explanation for her appearance(s) in his Mind Palace, no less so than any other character would need a reason. If you ask me, ultimately that reason isn't meta but neither is it meant to communicate the shape of any actual 'relationship'. No, what we have is the suggestion of one, much like Johnlock exists, between the lines. It's just... well, in this case, it's between the lines to preserve Sherlock's status, the legend and the mystery of 'Sherlock Holmes', I think. Even with het, they didn't want to go too far afield from focusing on Sherlock and John, or 'modern Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson', perhaps. It's all about them, and their stories. In the stories, Sherlock is either with John or alone, and so he remains-- with Irene Adler more or less a recurrent theme or memory rather than a person. A narrative ghost, like Mary.

It may seem like that's going back to the meta level, but it's a different kind of meta. It's more of a Holmesian commentary, a sort of self-indulgent homage rather than a fully fledged aspect of characterization. This is meant to be a teaser that relies on heteronormativity, not an actual relationship that makes any difference in the story. This definitely bothers me, especially in context with the continuous focus on Sherlock's capacity for romantic feelings and the importance thereof. This subject is constantly teased, presented as important, but not taken *seriously* except in ASiB and TSoT, which are also the two queerest eps. Like, by *no* stretch of the imagination is ASiB about Sherlock's relationship with Irene, and it could've been-- just like TSoT could've been about John and Mary, and wasn't. The women seemingly exist just muddle the waters, but that's particularly true of the way Mofftiss wrote Irene. They both work as conduits for the male characters' emotional development. They're still just... not pivotal to Sherlock or John's emotional growth, even though in TSoT and TLD John *says* as much about Mary. It just doesn't ring *true*. With Sherlock, there's absolutely no attempt made to make the arc about anyone other than John (and in fact, Ben C even mentioned this in the same interview he mentioned his 'private life' with Irene). So John is the center of Sherlock's universe, undoubtedly... but then there's texting vacations, sort of like sex vacations without the sex.

Anyway, it certainly casts their conversation at the greenhouse in TAB in a different light, given Sherlock *was* hiding some juicy tidbits and/or hetero impulses from John and from himself... maybe because Redbeard and/or Eurus's trauma, 'cause he heard Redbeard/a dog bark? Except who in the world hides heterosexuality, trauma aside. I just... I don't think it's *beyond* Mofftiss, but it really stretches credulity to think Gatiss wrote Sherlock as a closeted straight man. That's just... a bit much. I mean, I assume Ben C doesn't think of it like that, but Gatiss would be aware of the subtext, and he almost certainly doesn't think of it in those terms. So... I'd say we can dismiss any reductive or straightforward reading of Sherlock's sexuality, regardless.

It's obviously intentionally ambiguous, there's no way around that. The text isn't clear by any means, regardless if Ben C's headcanons, which you can see 'cause Moffat's said Sherlock's not interested in women, point blank. Honestly, that is what makes the most sense-- he may be haunted by Irene, and I suppose he visits her room in his Mind Palace sometimes (really?), but he's *obsessed* with John to the point where various villains feel the need to remark on it and/or show their home videos on the subject. Sherlock's emotional intimacy is overwhelmingly with John... and to be fair, that's not unusual in depictions of heterosexual manly men in genre media. Jim and (to some extent) Spock are certainly like that. It's just... Jim Kirk respected women, and they knew where they stood with him. There was no need for secrecy, and he was always sincere. This is... not that.

This is more like a heterosexual male fantasy projected awkwardly and incompletely onto Sherlock Holmes, who hadn't even developed enough conscious awareness of himself in his romantic/sexual aspect to do anything with it, for most of the show. The man was completely oblivious of most things to do with feeling until at least TSoT, so any long-distance texting would have been very, very bare bones until the time of TST/TLD, when John left him for good, and I guess he reached out to anyone who'd let him (he'd even tried therapy, after all). However, my suspension of disbelief can only stretch so far; so... still gay or null, essentially, as I said. It definitely doesn't extend to straight!Sherlock. Sorry, Ben.