#(though thats more of a fear thing than it being tedious)

[maxiepkmn-moved]

critique vid saying below zero "felt like a game and not like a story" is so real I haven't been able to put it into words before now but like. as much as I LOVE subnautica and al-an and aspects of sbz it's such a slog between the story bits😭

[lingering-42-long]

True self

König x f!reader

Apart of a new series I will be doing with all of the characters on this. Tell me witch one I should do next! Enjoy!

I named König, Alexander Herzog because I liked it. Another person had given him this name and I really like it.

Warnings: none, fluff

Horangi noticed his friend huddled in the meeting room, cradling his phone to his ear as he spoke quietly and in German to whoever was on the opposite end. It was not abnormal to see the feared mercenary Colonel making phone calls, but the way he was speaking was definitely different, unlike his usual manner in borderline yelling and cussing, with thrown German insults for flavor. König sounded like he was talking to someone dear to him. A relative perhaps? Horangi knew though. He and König were close friends, working together for many years.

König hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket with a sigh. The big man seemed small at this point, as if the weight of everything was crushing him. After a few seconds, the man composed himself and noticed Horangi standing there. “Ja?” He asked forgetting to switch over to English, but Horangi knew what he ment. “Nothing sir, how’s the misses?” He looked at him behind his balaclava.

“She’s well.” He stated simply. Horangi nodded “Thats good.” He moved from where he was standing. “Come on there’s some inspections that need to be done on the humvees.” König nodded and followed the smaller man out to the grounds were the vehicles we’re getting checked on safety.

Everyone knew König as the infamous leader of Kortek, a proud Commander who sought out respect from his troops. He made sure to handpick every individual with the raw talent that could be tapped in. Everyone knew he was a beast on the battlefield, he had no care whatsoever when it came to methods of killing, some more gruesome than others. Many of the newer recruits feared him both in an awestruck and terrifying way. They were so grateful that they were on his side, because if they were not, it would not end well for anyone.

He could be borderline mean and menacing as well, mostly it was directed towards his captors or the unfortunate rookie who pissed him off one too many times. König has a long fuse but it could go 0-60 before you even knew what was going on. For those who did not know him well, they would think he was a controlling dictator with arrogance thrown in there, and a monstrous way of killing.

König never wanted this. He always wanted to be liked by people not be feared by them. He wanted people to be able to trust him and he with them, but after years of being betrayed and beaten, kicked, and tortured both on the playground at school and on the battlefield, he realized that no matter what, he would be seen just at face value. He did make a few friends in his career and those that have proven themselves were held at his highest value. Horangi was one of them. The South Korean man who had a gambling addiction. The two became like brothers and enjoyed one another’s company. König was happy that he had a friend that he could trust on.

König wanted his dream life, a sniper, with loving friends and a family he could call his own. When he got rejected for being a sniper, he was pissed, and crushed. His mind still loathing to this day on him proving to everyone that he was once again, not useful. Mainly because of his hight and his inability to stay still. He always hated his hight, but he did enjoy it when it did come to be useful. No one challenges a 6’10 Austrian man. He liked it that way.

Going back to the present, he was helping som of the new recruits with the inspections. It was boring and tedious. He hated this type of thing. He craved for action on the battlefield. He got to let his anger out and not give a dam.

After the day was done he would trudge up to his quarters and lay on his creaky old bed. He missed home. He missed you. Yes, the fights helped him forget and the meetings and mountains of paperwork were also great distractions, albeit not wanted, he, at the end of the day, still missed you. You brought familiarity and comfort to his overworked self. You brought stability when he had non. All it took was a simple touch, and the Colonel of a mercenary unit would be wrapped around your finger. He was a gentle soul deep down. He loved you and cared for you like no other. He worshiped the ground you walked on and basked in your presence. Somehow you were his achilles heel, but he could not care less. Right now all he wanted was you to cuddle up next to. To read to you and watch your beautiful tired eyes close as you drifted off to sleep. He lived for those simple moments. All he had now was a cold hard bed and no one to help him rewind for the night. With a frustrated sigh, he closed his eyes and tryed to sleep.

A few weeks had past now everyone was going home. It had been a long and rough mission that took a toll on everyone. A young scout had almost had his face blown off if it wasn’t for König to save them and get them and the others to safety. It was a miracle that he did not receive any major injuries.

König was at the airport now, looking around and seeing if he could find what he was looking for. He was tall so he stood out of the sea of people like a sore thumb. “Alexander!” A female voice called out. The giant man swiveled around to the sound and saw his beautiful wife running towards him. The biggest grin spread across his face as he made his way to you and picked you up as if you weighed nothing. “Ah mein Engel! I have missed you so so so much you have no idea.” He started to kiss you all over your face, ending it with your lips. “I don’t want to ever be separated from you ever again.” He was desperate for you. The man that everyone feared, was a big teddy bear to you.

“Hey big guy. I missed you too.” Your voice was music to his ears. “Come on let’s go get your things.” You stroked his chest as he carefully let you down but not letting go of your hand. The two of you walked towards baggage claim and he was asking so many questions about how you were, and what was going on in your friend group and how were your parents. He wanted to know everything that was going on in your life while you two were separated. By the time you two made it to the car, you could tell that the tiredness was starting to kick in now that the adrenaline and dopamine rush was leaving him. It wouldn’t be long before he would be passing out.

You try to get him to talk as much as possible so that he wouldn’t fall asleep. Once he was out, he would be out for quite some time anywhere between a day to three days of sleep. The bare minimum of what he actually needed. You were finally able to get him inside, and in some comfortable warm PJs before he slipped under the covers and passed out, happy to be back home with you, cuddling next to his spooning frame, protecting you even in his sleep. You were happy to have your gentle giant back as well, your husband always brought a smile to your face whenever he was acting himself, and now you too were also falling into dreamworld with your Alexander.

[hms-no-fun]

Currently struggling a lot with getting very excited about a project, writing a lot, editing that writing until it's way more polished than what I can come up with off the cuff, and then being too intimidated to add to the document anymore since the previous good writing still gives off this looming intimidation if that makes sense? The more I write the greater the fear is I'll crash the story into a ditch that reveals the premise can't work. have you had that "its not all coming together shit theres a snag thats really important that i missed" moment? I realize it's pretty inevitable for that to happen, but whenever I write myself out of a moment like that I always second guess that I'm still overlooking something important or taking the easy way out. I know it's probably just all about pushing through but I worry that by pushing im just further diluting the original spirit of the project? Sorry for the all over the place ask, hope you have a good day :3

this is always a tough situation to navigate as a writer. happens to me often, and it has taken me a very long time to come even remotely close to being able to deal with it productively. believe it or not, i actually have quite a lot to say about this, so prepare for that below the break.

first of all, no, it's absolutely NOT all about pushing through. i find "pushing through" can just as often make the problem worse. keep in mind that i can only speak to my own experience and process, so any advice i might give here should only be taken insofar as you personally find it useful.

this is a form of writer's block. there are many different types of blocks, each with their own causes and hypothetical treatments. a big part of becoming A Writer as such is learning the difference between them, and developing methods for dealing with them on a case by case basis that don't involve substance abuse. don't do cocaine. that's step one.

most of my blocks are in the vein you describe. i'll be writing a scene that feels good, until i cross a threshold somewhere and suddenly the whole thing feels dead in the water. the first thing i do when this happens is stop writing. it's hard to stop when you're on a roll, i know. life is short and it's hard enough to write even on a good day, but sometimes you can just tell that you're on the wrong track and at that point you're probably not gonna be able to write your way back on.

once stopped, i check the basics. have i eaten recently? am i hydrated? have i taken my medications? these are rarely my problem (i keep a big water bottle with me at all times and my gf makes sure i'm fed), though you never know how useful a snack break can be. most of the time if the problem isn't with the text, it's that i've been writing for too fucking long and i need to clock out. learning to clock out is SO hard. but as i've been getting into the habit these last couple months, while i generally write less per day i ultimately end up writing more over time. i can feel my brain cooking when i've been writing too long. it's a muscle like anything else. if you did a bunch of overtime shifts at a more physical job, you'd need time to recover too. your body isn't a machine, your brain isn't a computer, and living things are inconsistent. it sucks but you'll have a better time all around when you learn to work with your body instead of against it.

another question is, have i showered recently? i find showers tedious and boring. also i still have depression even though my life is a lot better than it used to be. i lived on my own for a very long time as a deeply closeted self-hating trans woman, so my hygiene habits are not always up to sniff. as much as i hate to admit it, showers help. i can't tell you how many times i've sat at a godfeels chapter or video script and just felt fucking miserable, only to come back forty minutes later from a shower, full of creative energy. i despise self-help shit. just not a fan of the culture of positive attitude wellness check stuff because you can't self examine your way out of your class position. sometimes the problem is that you're broke. sometimes life fucking sucks and you just don't have the art in you, and that's okay. there's a common misconception that if something bad happens to you, at least you can make an art to get through it. but in my experience it's actually a lot harder to make art about bad times when you're still in them. most of the time it takes months if not years of safety and recovery before you can really face it head on artistically. so like, be nice to yourself. it's not your fault that you live in a society.

but also sometimes literally you just need a shower or to eat some leftovers or to go to fucking bed. i hate it every time that is true because i want my problems to be real and philosophical and not just some dumb body thing that happens to everyone. alas, no one can escape the quotidian obligations of simple mortality.

THAT SAID! this stuff isn't usually my problem, and often i find that what's solving the problem when i do step away to eat/drink/shower isn't even the specific activity, but the act of stepping away at all. getting my mind off it for a sec. when i hit a block that doesn't feel completely insurmountable, i like to back away from my computer and pace around a bit. then i'll stare at my big whiteboard with a marker in hand and just let my mind wander. i don't even write anything half the time! but the mere act of trying to compartmentalize the problem into something brief enough for shorthand helps me spot the pain points.

one of my favorite books is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which despite what you might assume from its title is NOT a self-help book but instead a work of philosophy from 1974 taking the form of a travelogue. what Robert Pirsig explores in this book is what he calls the Metaphysics of Quality. basically he's trying to understand the split-second judgments we make of things we like and things we don't. i absolutely do not have time to go into the specifics, just know that his Quality refers to the abstract certainty you have when something is Good or Right or Correct or Qualitatively True. like how you pull your hand away unconsciously when you touch a hot stove, but for ideas. you just Know.

a scene that really sticks with me from that book (probably the most famous scene) is when Pirsig describes needing to fix a mechanical problem with his motorcycle only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a stripped screw keeping him from removing the engine cover. he talks about being so focused on the obvious solution to the primary complex problem that, on encountering a smaller, simpler problem that has to be dealt with first, he finds himself completely stuck, calling this "a zero of consciousness." it's a problem so annoying and minuscule and stubbornly unsolvable that you just want to hit the thing with a wrench and throw it in a river. addressing this new problem, this block, requires an adjustment in thinking. and here i'm going to quote a pretty lengthy passage, but don't worry, i'm typing it out by hand with the book in front of me so there's no time saved on my end:

Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas. The solution to the problem often at first seems unimportant or undesirable, but the state of stuckness allows it, in time, to assume its true importance. It seemed small because your previous rigid evaluation which led to the stuckness made it small. But now consider the fact that no matter how hard you try to hang on to it, this stuckness is bound to disappear. Your mind will naturally and freely move toward a solution. Unless you are a real master at staying stuck you can't prevent this. The fear of stuckness is needless because the longer you stay stuck the more you see the Quality-reality that gets you unstuck every time. What's really been getting you stuck is the running from the stuckness [. . .] Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. It's this understanding of Quality as revealed by stuckness which so often makes self-taught mechanics so superior to institute-trained men who have learned how to handle everything except a new situation. Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now, as your Quality awareness becomes stronger, you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it. [. . .] What your actual solution is is unimportant as long as it has Quality. Thoughts about the screw as combined rigidness and adhesiveness and about its special helical interlock might lead naturally to solutions of impaction and use of solvents. That is one kind of Quality track. Another track may be to go to the library and look through a catalog of mechanic's tools, in which you might come across a screw extractor that would do the job. Or to call a friend who knows something about mechanical work. Or just to drill the screw out, or just burn it out with a torch. Or you might just, as a result of your meditative attention to the screw, come up with some new way of extracting it that has never been thought of before that beats all the rest and is patentable and makes you a millionaire five years from now. There's no predicting what's on that Quality track. The solutions all are simple-- after you have arrived at them. But they're simple only when you know already what they are.

this is, in brief, my entire creative philosophy when it comes to writer's block. i share such a lengthy passage because i think it's useful to underline that we're not talking about a problem that is necessarily unique to the labor of writing. this process is a human process. it's just that with writing, the nature of the block itself is often much more difficult to identify than a stripped screw.

there's a couple things i do to try to identify what's got me stuck. a lot of times what happens is that everything in a scene felt good until it didn't, and then everything after that moment fell flat. so i'll go back and read the whole thing and just try to feel the scene. is everyone in character? is their dialogue too quippy, or too aggressive, too expository? are we in the midst of a conversation that has simply gone on way too fucking long? i know it can be torturous to reread your own stuff but idk what else to say except get used to it. especially when you're still early in the drafting phase! like if you know you're not gonna release this thing imminently, there's no reason to be precious about the stuff that's good or to beat yourself up over the stuff that's bad. i know that compulsion to try to Get Everything Right The First Time is strong, but it's completely unsustainable.

sometimes the block is that i just don't feel like writing narration. i've always sucked at grounding a scene with descriptions of the place. lately i'm trying to get away from relying solely on descriptions of staging/blocking, but it's hard for a bitch like me who mostly prefers writing dialogue. i've gotten a lot more comfortable with putting notes between dialogue exchanges like [character moves, looks at picture, has a dramatic thought, other character fiddles with object]. it can feel like cheating sometimes but it's not. there's no such thing. no one will know the route you took to get to the end. they will only see what you show them, when you decide to show it to them.

sometimes the block is in some minor or major betrayal of the story's spirit. the (Terezi) & Jade scene i talked about in this ask is a good example. i hit a point where nothing was working anymore. no one would talk to me. the light was gone. i can always tell when i made the wrong choice. it's such a particular sensation. as though i'm walking and i realize i no longer recognize the road i'm on and must've made a wrong turn somewhere. the solution to this particular block is introspection, retracing my steps, because the wrong turn isn't always obvious. maybe it's that someone in the scene is being too mean, or that i've failed to accomplish what the scene exists to do in some way, or that someone's made an uncharacteristic choice that now everyone in the scene is arguing about and it's like, man, this is taking too long, i'm not enjoying this anymore.

another example from A1 is the second half of the solo. i'd had most of the jasprose scene, the karkat-calliope-roxy scenes, and the vrisrezi-jade scenes written since i posted the A1 chorus. where i ran into trouble was that i needed to get jane, jake, and (terezi) to show up. my original plan was to have them arrive one by one, thus allowing their individual dramas a moment in the spotlight before being subsumed into the group. not a bad idea in theory but in practice it was fucking tedious. here we have a bunch of characters already immersed in the scene captured by the intrigue of Jade being enigmatic, and then some unawares jagoff wanders in and suddenly everyone has to stop what they're doing and be like "hey hello how are you what's up" and then they explain how they got there and then they ask what's up and it's such a DRAG. honestly i would say the majority of my creative blocks by volume are moments when the story really wants me to just cut to black for a smoke break and come back when somebody gets mad enough to throw a punch. i mean that's the the development of A1 in a nutshell. originally everyone was gonna start the track locked up in space-jail on the hopebringer, jade would show up all apologetic and say what she expects padua's deliberation to be, then the whole cast would see her throw a fit over a decision she knew was coming, they'd all be absolved of guilt and let free, then they'd all argue about who's staying or going with Jade in the morning, they'd split up to go pack their stuff and then...

well that was exactly the problem. i wanted to get all the pertinent things out of the way. jade's code switching, voidthought, some EWL teases. give the whole cast a chance to react to it. i thought that would be expedient, because it got the Plot out of the way and gave time to characters for Feelings. if that version of the scene had come at the end of chapter 8, it might have worked. but i realized that as soon as jade's audience was no longer captive, i had no fucking clue what to do with them anymore. we already knew who would go with jade, so acting like that's some kind of mystery is just lame. i started writing A1 from a place of desiring informational density & a quick pace, because we've got places to go and things to do. but if the real purpose of A1 is to explore why these characters choose to go with Jade, then that needed to be done with a lot more care and precision. that's when i decided to let Jade spend two days underground making the earth right again, so that she has to come to everyone individually rather than the other way around. and it muddies her motivations, if you don't mind the pun. it puts her at an appropriate remove from the others. i ultimately wound up conveying all the same information as in the original version, but i did it in a way that was more appropriate thematically and artistically. it wound up being longer road than i anticipated, but this is a long story and in this case the longer road was better for the journey.

take the chapter where Jade visits Roxy. i needed some time with Roxy alone to set the scene, since she's the first person Jade decides to visit and i like writing about the insides of trailer homes. i wanted to get some politics from Jane in this chapter, so hey, why not throw in a televised speech? oh, and then i can have some tucker carlson types remind us that Earth C is a fucking mess. i wrote all that, and it was good, but it was just Roxy watching tv. i tried to get into Jade's arrival and couldn't. so i went back and realized, oh, Roxy should be yelling at the tv the whole time! now we get Jane's politics, Roxy's reactions to those politics, as well as bits and pieces of context re: Jane's relationships with Karkat and Roxy. now when Jade arrives, we can play with the question of whether she heard the speech from outside Roxy's door, and why neither of them was physically at the speech in the first place. there's tension and imbalance in Roxy's state of mind when Jade does arrive, so we're more inside her perspective than we usually are, which in turn helps us identify with her when Jade starts infodumping about antimemes.

so often for me, working through a block is a matter of doing a better job utilizing what's available to you. going back to the A1 solo and trying to bring Jake, Jane, and (Terezi) into the scene. i finally returned to it after a couple months of being sick and dealing with life problems. i was frustrated because i'd hoped to be several tracks in to 3.2 by now, and instead i was confronted with just how much more of this thing is left and how long that might take if i couldn't pick up the pace. this thing NEEDED to get done.

and then i remembered that Jasprose is literally right there.

and that was it! problem fucking solved! i had jasprose drop all three of them into the scene completely unceremoniously using manic teleportation through a fenestrated plane, and from there the entire rest of the chapter erupted out of me in a single go. it's such an obvious solution to the problem that you as reader probably assumed it was the plan from the very beginning. but it's like Pirsig says: the solutions all are obvious-- after you've arrived at them.

then there's the problem of overwriting. i actually did i think four different versions of the opening to the A1 solo. the first person narration was a late addition. i tweaked that scene so so so many times. it kept feeling close but not quite. when i did the thing where i reread to find where the block happened, instead of actually reading the thing i just kept finding spots where i could write more. i can extend this anecdote. this line could be better. maybe a comma here would work better than an ellipsis...

this can be good because sometimes what's blocking you is that you skipped over something that needed more time. maybe some information or a dramatic emphasis that gives the stuff you can't yet write the momentum it needs to get going again. but i've gotta be real careful doing this, because i can do it forever. and then, as you describe (hey look, i'm actually talking about your specific problem now!), that hyper-polished section sets everything else up to fail by comparison.

i think the trick is knowing the difference between when a scene needs an editing pass vs when a scene just straight up isn't working. when it's not working, sometimes you do just have to throw it all out and start over. but if it's good enough that you feel like all it's missing is better dialogue and some more description, then you can hold off on that polish until the rest of the thing is done. this conundrum is most common at the beginning of a chapter or story in my experience, precisely as a result of the process i've been describing this whole time. when you hit a block and retrace your steps, you can always find things to fix. so it's sort of natural that any given chapter becomes less polished the further along you get in to it. that's why it's so important to understand the differences between all these different types of blocks, and to remind yourself that literally nothing you've written is finished until the moment you've made it public.

a big part of getting the A1 solo out the door was me swallowing my desire for perfection in every exchange and saying, no, this is good enough. it's not 100% what i want, but it's close enough that it just isn't worth the effort it would take to get there. sometimes there are scenes that are worth that effort, but they are always rarer than you think and they're never the ones you'd expect. i will freely admit that there are a lot of characters expositing their motivations in this chapter. i tried to embed as much of that in humor or drama as i could, but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and walk away and hope your readers will be nice to you.

of course the funny thing is, once i finished the chapter and had all the panels sketched out and wiped my hands clean of the whole affair, janet needed two weeks to make the images. so i ended up having time to polish up a couple of those things that i felt were lacking after all. but those additions were radically small and intuitive, because i'd divorced myself from the raw production and had committed to so many directions that i *couldn't* change much. i'm so used to writing for release that i don't know what to do with myself when my part of the job is done before i can kick it out the door. i've come to find that waiting, taking breaks, walking away and coming back, do wonders for your ability to egolessly examine your work and identify what's wrong. sometimes you just need a day or two to sleep on it.

and sometimes you realize that you've really just over-written a scene, out of preciousness or insecurity or whatever else, and the result is so much bigger than everything else you want to do that it's more expedient to just scrap it. i hate when this happens, man. i did this with an early version of the A1 chorus, when Jade is stuck in space alone and shouting about how unfair her life has been. you know sometimes there's an emotion in a scene that's addictive. some bit of pathos that you just feel down to your bones, fuck me man, this is so GOOD, this is so JUICY, this shit has QUALITY. it's so good you don't want it to be finished. so you keep writing it, and writing it, and you rewrite it, and you add to it, because you really want to squeeze every drop of emotion you can from the thing. and then you wind up with a bloated melodramatic mess that's so overplayed you've annihilated everything that compelled you to write it in the first place.

i want to be clear that this isn't wasted work. nothing you ever put to the page, no matter how ultimately useless it might prove to be, is wasted work. the way i see this whole process, top to bottom, is that there's this thing. i don't know what it is, but it's there. maybe it starts with an image, or a line of dialogue, or a relationship, or a natural vista, whatever. it can be anything. what matters is it's a sign pointing you in a direction. it's something that has Quality that you can feel with such potent immediacy that you have no choice but to write it. the act of writing is something of an expedition, because the real magic of it comes when those disparate signs start colliding with one another. an image becomes a scene, a house, a world, a universe. sometimes these signs lead to dead ends, but with experience you learn to tell the dead ends from the rough patches. you learn how to make your own way. you do this by listening to what this thing is telling you. every story i've ever written has known better than me what it wants. i can impose so much onto it, i control 90% of the process at least. but that other 10% cannot, should not be quantified or controlled but simply understood. if you try to bottle the flame, you'll just end up snuffing it out.

no artist really knows why they do what they do or how they're able to pull it off. they can tell you their methods, their process, their coping mechanisms, they can write ludicrously lengthy diatribes on tumblr in response to an innocuous ask, but you can't pin down the soul of the thing. Quality is ephemeral, because it's first. it happens before you've had time to think, like putting your hand on a hot stove. you just know. and you have to trust that knowledge to carry you forward, not second guess it too much, not try to wrangle the thing into a shape it doesn't want to assume. sometimes this requires writing scenes that you don't love, because it's easier to build a messy bridge between the moments that drive you than it is to perfect every single moment out of an artificial commitment to like, Being A Good Writer or whatever.

a lot of this is just practice. you get better at communicating with your creative impulses. but also i think it helps to internalize that nobody sees the rough drafts, nobody sees the duct tape. and nobody knows the perfect vision you'll be convinced you failed to meet. nobody has ever made a perfect thing, and no one ever will. who wants to be perfect, anyway? godfeels wouldn't be what it is if i wasn't willing to let it be messy. if i'd tried to do it better, it never would have gotten done, and nothing i'm doing now would have even conceptually gotten to exist.

also, it's okay to abandon shit when it stops feeling good. i have so many unfinished books kicking around from my 20s, dude. i feel bad about some of them, but ten years not finishing books is still ten years spent writing. it's actually quite rare for good ideas to result in finished works, because good ideas are cheap and they're not all for you. but you gotta keep trying anyway because sooner or later you'll catch a spark that has real gas, and if you've done the work you'll be ready for it. it'll feel like destiny. it'll feel like magic, how matched that idea is to your skill level. but it won't be magic, it'll be skill. if you hadn't put the work in to know how to follow that intuition, it'd be just as dead an end as everything else you never finished. you do the work so that when you get lucky you can take advantage of it. so in that context, writing is quite low stakes. if it's not good enough, fuck it, try something else!

anyway i hope there's some decent insight buried in here somewhere. thanks for such a good question!

[unhingedselfships]

5, 10, 13 :)

This got stupidly long. Sorry?

5. Does their existence make any major changes to the 'canon' story? Minor ones?

She inherently causes small tweaks simply by existing. You're throwing a whole new character, how ever minor, into the story.

With Daigo, its pretty consistent she keeps Mine alive.

Majima, I tend to default to the Y0 version, and she makes some changes here and there, not really altering things in a significant way, but making the road just a little smoother.

With Akiyama, honestly we probably see the fewest changes, but thats subject to change.

Kiryu, she honestly doesn't do much for him specifically, but she provides a much stronger support to the kids and Haruka, and absolutely goes over Kiryu's head when it comes to the orphanage.

When she flies solo, the options are nigh endless, from doing nothing but adding fun substory hijinks, to completely rewriting storylines in ways that make exactly no sense. (so yanno, perf for RGG lmlfao)

10. Who do they get along with? How close are they?

Her most notable non-romantic connections off the top of my head :

Nishikiyama : Makes the least sense from a narrative stand point, so I just ignore that part. She does the "talk-no-jutsu" in her own clunky way, and its basically just a big ol' rant about how he's been treated and it turns out basic respect and decency go a long way with him. She has no fear, she can get catty and snippy with him. And it works. She treats him like a person, an equal. They're "bitchy besties".

Saejima : She just kinda dubs him "bro" and refuses to let go. He accepts it. Ends up fairly protective of her. There might be some "lost a sibling" trauma bonding happening here.

Hana : It starts with Kimi just being generally helpful in ways Aki slacks on. Despite being just as lazy (read ; depressed) she feels bad about Hana's work load, so picks up where she can. Particularly in sorting and organization. The build a bond over time and "girls days out" become routine. (on Aki's dime ofc)

Mine : I love how complicated these two are. Calling them frenemies usually works. He loves and hates her in equal measure for her connection to Daigo. Hates that its her and not him, but Daigo is happy, and he can't hate that. When she isn't with Daigo romantically, they estabilish a friendship relatively similar to the one she has with Nishiki.

Nishida : Kimi just low key adores this dude. He's so reliable and he ends up something of a 'neutral party confidant' for her. She tries to make his life dealing with Maji easier where she can. Usually by distracting the man in question.

13. Do they have a fave 'mini game' activity?

There are so many mini games in this franchise. Lets get into a few more.

Poker/Black Jack/Roulette/Etc She doesn't hate card games, but they bore her fairly quickly and she's not very good at them.

Batting Cages She gets hit with the ball more often than she hits it. She tries but after a few bruises whoever she's with hauls her out.

Mahjong and Shogi Will try, and then get completely lost when people try to explain either one. "I'm too dumb for this, sorry"

Bowling, Pool/Billiards, and Table Tennis She is absolutely atrocious at both of these, however unlike the other games she's bad at, she has a ton of fun with them.

Pocket Circut She likes it, and she likes the tinkering, but she doesn't get super into it. She prefers to support someone else doing it, rather than participate herself.

Dancing/Disco Kimi can keep a beat pretty well, she has rhythm, but she's uncordinated as hell. She sticks to swaying happily off to the side. (she gets wigglier the drunker she is)

Darts She has piss poor hand-eye coordination, which makes her being pretty good at darts a surprise. She enjoys it, and gets smug when she does well.

Fishing Is the most tedious boring thing, and she hates it. (loves fishing mini games in video games though!)

MesuKing She finds it silly, and doesn't really play, but enjoys collecting things so she has a huge collection of cards just sitting around.

Karaoke She can actually sing pretty well. If she could stop crying. She has crippling stage fright and performance anxiety so its a no-go. She does enjoy tagging along to cheer people on though.

[trashytoastboi]

hi (i dont know what your character limit is so if you do this in parts thats fine) could i request asl brothers, law, usopp, and kid (separately) with a male s/o whos usually bright and loud but has a bad day and needs some comfort. headcannons or scenario, whatever you like to do better. i hope this isnt too much im just in my simping for op boys hours but anyways thank you and love your account :))

Heyya! 🍀🍞 thank you so much! I'm sorry this took so long and hope you enjoy~

(Male Pronouns)

Headcanons: Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Usopp, Law, Kid x Male! S/O is usually bright and loud but he had a bad day and needs some comfort

Portgas D. Ace

🔥 {Name} was a bubbly breath of fresh air for Ace, his personality also served to cheer Ace up when he was caught up with his own worries and that naturally spread to Ace and made him smile more often than he realized. Honestly it was so reassuring sometimes, {Name's} brightness added to his day and if he had any worries he could always look to {Name} for some cheering up. Sometimes he could afford not to be the bright and energetic one, which made him more comfortable with his other feelings that he often hid to avoid making others worry.

🔥 Although being happy 24/7 may seem easy for someone as bright and energetic as {Name} but a bad day can definitely make that change and suddenly all the energy seems to disappear and hits even harder when it happens. The day was exhausting to him, nothing went right and he felt so drained that even mustering a small smile felt so tedious.

🔥 {Name} isolated himself, he was usually the first in line to cheer someone up or comfort them but he did not really want that for himself and whenever he felt down it was a bad habit of staying away from others in fear of bringing them down or burdening them with his own problems. Despite how kind and happy {Name} could be, his down days hit harder than most. Ace was usually the first to notice this, and he never complained or felt irritated. He understood more than most that anyone and everyone has their bad days.

🔥Ace found {Name} sulking by himself in their shared cabin. Now and then huffing out a sigh, Ace snuck up to him and gave him a light peck on the lips "Whats wrong babe?" Ace inquired with a look of concern. "Nothing..." {Name} murmured, settling into Ace's arms as they snaked around him. "Mmmm that's a big ball of nothing I'm seeing then" Ace quipped, his hand reaching up to stroke {Name's} hair. "Its alright, you don't have to talk about it. I'm here for you either way okay?" Ace reassured his partner which caused a weak but genuine smile on his face.

🔥 Ace would always take care to be extra attentive but not smothering during this time, doing things like making little quips or jokes and reassuring {Name} through his actions and words. He never put any pressure for him to "get back to normal" and rather let him take things at his own pace with Ace supporting him every step of the way until he can be his bright self again.

Sabo

🎩 Sabo was reading a report, his brow furrowed in concentration and a serious expression on his face when he felt a random jab to his forehead. "{Name}" Sabo stated, a little startled since he was deep in thought he had not realized him standing there. "You always seem to scowl when you read those reports" {Name} stated with a big smile. A welcomed smile that Sabo loved seeing since it always seemed to make him smile as well. Sabo was usually on the light hearted side and then serious when he needed to be but the unwinding of that usually takes a while though {Name} was truly a rare exception who seemed to be happy more often than not on top of a boundless energy.

🎩 Though when {Name} had just too much to deal with in a day, he was down. And feeling more sad than he would like to admit and his sudden shift was easily noticed by everyone, but truthfully no one really knew how to comfort him since they usually found themselves on the receiving end of being comforted by him.

🎩 Sabo quickly caught onto {Name's} mood despite his attempts to disguise it under a weak smile. Usually since Sabo already has a lot to deal with it, {Name} always tried to hide his negative moods from him since he always wants Sabo to see the best sides to him and not have to deal with a burden.

🎩 Sabo put all his work down, passed it to others capable of doing it just so he and {Name} could spend some time together. Mostly so Sabo could cheer him up and keep an eye on him. Mostly it was just those little attentive gestures that helped to cheer {Name} up and forget his bad day. Bad days happened now and then and even so, {Name} truly appreciated how kind Sabo was and just how sweet he could be in many aspects.

🎩 Sabo would randomly do things like bringing {Name} food and wanting to eat with him, random hugs or petting his head and those silly little quips he would make just to hear {Name} laugh. Actually it somehow felt difficult to be sad around Sabo since he knew the way to always cheer up {Name}. And if it was a bad day for both of them then they would just spend time in eachothers company and comfort.

Monkey D. Luffy

🍖 Honestly most of the times Luffy and {Name} were on the same wavelength and seemed to view everything with excitement and positivity. As if one energetic busy body wasn't enough, {Name} was added to the mix for double the seemingly endless energy. Honestly the majority of the crew admired how easily {Name} could keep up with Luffy. It just added when the two of them would be together and just when it seemed impossible for the two to be even more happy they somehow managed to surpass that 'limit' each time with occasional stupid antics.

🍖 With the high stress and dangerous occurrences that the Straw-Hats often find themselves in and much like Luffy who is left feeling frustrated after losing a fight. Sometimes {Name} had those frustrating and painful days that left him feeling very down. Whether it was from sadness or anger towards himself.

🍖 Luffy was not the brightest when it came to reading emotions but even he could tell when his partner was feeling down. {Name} smiled less, his energy dwindled and even his appetite. It was all painfully obvious indicators that even Luffy couldn't miss, despite his roundabout way of being able to cheer others up sometimes Luffy would struggle.

🍖 Luffy goes into doting mode, sometimes its direct and other times it Luffy's version of subtle. Whether he is outright asking his partner about what's got him feeling so down or just randomly pulling him into a hug or using {Name} as a body pillow for a spontaneous nap. Its often the little things mixed with Luffy's usual boldness that cheer {Name} up.

🍖 Luffy smiled a little brighter than usual, was little more attentive in his own way and kept {Name} company. Happily showing him anything he found very interesting and 'sneakily' feeding him some of his oh so treasured between meal snacks. And just sticking close to his partner, {Name} smiled a bit more and thanked him. Feeling better than when he was feeling down thanks to Luffy.

Usopp

🏹 Usopp was a bit more balanced than others minus his extreme cases of cowardice and impulsive acts of bravery. {Name} always encouraged him and told him that he was braver than most. Considering how fearful he is of things and yet still musters the courage to do the impossible. {Name's} positivity and bright nature often helped to inspire confidence in Usopp. His partner's energy is always contagious and served as a pick me up to everyone around him and honestly Usopp could liken {Name} to being a light that brightens everyone's mood up especially when they see him smile.

🏹 Maybe it was waking up on the wrong side of the bed but from the get go the day did not in anyway seem to go in {Name's} direction. It was one mess after another, annoyances and things going wrong. It was bad luck. {Name} was frustrated and upset and his usual bright demeanour seemed to be buried under the exhaustion the horrible day brought.

🏹 Usopp saw {Name} and noticed the lack of his usual bounce in his step and it was replaced by heavy, dragging footsteps. Even his face lacked a bright smile and his eyes just seemed to tell how exhausting the day had been to him. Usopp was worried after seeing such an expression on his face. Usopp dropped what he was doing and went to {Name} to find out what was wrong.

🏹 Usopp slid across the floor to land in {Name's} path, presenting a beautiful flower, which was cultivated by Usopp himself. In a theatrical manner Usopp held out the flower with a slick smile as he kissed {Name's} hand. "For you" {Name} wanted to chuckle thinking that he was acting very similar and doing something Sanji would do and {Name} smiled a little, Usopp opened his arms and {Name} went to give him a hug.

🏹 Usopp kept popping out with spontaneous surprises, sometimes flying paper plans with cute little notes scrawled on them and inviting {Name} to join him in the crows nest to look out at the beautiful sights. Just trying all these things that he usually did with a bit more attention and earnest to take {Name's} mind off of anything that may have upset him.

Trafalgar Law

🍄 Law was not the happiest daisy of the bunch and most days his attitude was borderline maniacal with a heavy sprinkling of grumpiness. Which is why {Name's} presence, while looking out of place alongside Law, was actually perfectly fitting and suited for the exhausted man. Law honestly enjoys his bright personality, he loves {Name's} smiles and his oud but not overbearing nature. It even struck him as a surprise since his impression of Luffy was not an entirely fond one and keeping up with his energy was tiresome yet it never felt that way with {Name}. He always felt refreshed listening to the excited chattering of his partner and even those cute little smiles.

🍄 Law had been busy, occupied with a lot and {Name} wasn't going to demand his attention when seeing how busy Law was. Though after the day he had, he wished he had pestered Law a little because maybe he could of avoided having such a terrible day. It wasn't necessarily anyone's fault but it wasn't a good day. It just seemed to do nothing but frustrate {Name} who tried his best to cope with it.

🍄 Law was sensitive to emotional changes in others and was quick to realize when he saw {Name} forcing a smile that he wasn't good at all. He knows how negative things kept to oneself can spiral and grow worse. Law never wanted to see his partner down, he wanted him to be happy and free from anything that could hurt him. Not to say that bad days don't exist but he wished it would be a little better so his partner would never feel bad.

🍄 Law made a space for just the two of them and stopped his work to spend time with {Name}. He wanted a space where {Name} could feel comfortable and rest if it helped to put that pep back into his step. Law went to find his partner and spent a bit of time with him, just comforting him and trying to find any answers as to what upset him so much.

🍄 Between comforting affection, Law keeping {Name} close and doing things like hugging him, holding his hand and snuggling into all those hugs. Law would also gently inquire as to what was bugging him and what was making him so down. Law felt an odd sense of over protection whenever {Name} got down and took it upon himself to try cheer him up... his dry doctor jokes were not great but the effort made {Name} laugh.

Eustass Kid

🛠 Kid's crew often quipped that Kid and {Name} made such an odd pairing seeing that the two of them were polar opposites from one another. Although Kid was attracted to {Name's} sunflowery nature and it made him somewhat more amicable and helped to balance Kid out from his extremes. In his own way, it made Kid really happy to have such a partner and made him a little more protective over {Name} since the life of a pirate was fulfilling but equally dangerous and scary. If anything, Kid wanted to maintain that happiness of {Name's} for his sake as well his partners.

🛠 {Name}was particularly formidable against hardship since a lot of not so great things could happen in the New World, but even so he remained his happy self most of the times. Even in times of great adversity, in fact there was very little that could dampen his spirits. So when {Name} had a bad day it was usually a really bad day.

🛠 Kid spotted {Name}, languid and devoid of his usual energetic self and even a concerned face in place of his usual kind and warm smile, Kid found himself worried. Even he knew it took a lot to push his partner to their breaking point, it took a lot to make him upset and he seemed so down and Kid couldn't think of a reason and it was a rather rare occurrence for him so be so upset.

🛠 Kid was rather direct and awkward with his attempts of comfort. Since subtlety wasn't really his fortè and he outright asked his partner if the problem was one he could beat or break. And despite the aggressive undertone of his words, {Name}smiled knowing this was Kid's version of expressing his sincerity. {Name} found himself soothing Kid's worry and calming him to explain that it was just a bad day.

🛠 Kid hung around with {Name} to make sure there were no more problems to his day. There were also a few more awkward attempts at sincere affection from Kid's end and he almost seemed more restless and wanting more of {Name's} attention, although {Name} was the one who was needing comfort, Kid needed reassurance that his attempts were meaningful and it was endearing for {Name} to watch him try so hard for his sake.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Overhaul / Chisaki Kai sfw alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Yeah... not very as you all may have expected. Chisaki is very reserved and his mysophobia doesn't help at all. Although, years of not touching nobody can do so much to a person and he MIGHT be willing to touch you after a few months... maybe years.

At the first few times he will only show his affection by giving you things. That's it.

But well, the wait is worth it. Chisaki is a gentleman by nature. Kisses on the hand whenever you pass by, forcing/invinting you to sit on his lap.

His forms of affection are from actions, not from words. He sucks with words, Im sorry.

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

Something tells me that Chisaki would start a relationship only when the person gives him some type of interest. Personality, knowledge.... QUIRKLESS.

Really, he does care more about how intellugent or what they could be to him as a partner, appearance comes just as a bonus to him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

AHA!

Jokes apart, Chisaki is just as a stone when cuddling... if he is willing to honestly because this man is such a tsundere brat it huRTS-

He would slowly learn how to do it, but please give him time and espace, he never done this before God help him.

He is much more comfortable with you laying on his chest as he continues on with his paperwork, it gives hkm a sense that he is not alone and that he can spend time with you while doing something so tedious as paperwork.

BUT! On harsh days, as example got into a argument with pops or a bad day in general, he likes to lay his head on your lap and just forget the world exists as hugging you close and inhaling your clean scent.

Also well, enjoy when he is sleepy.

Also, cuddling only after a shower. No buts.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Well, he does want to settle down but as long as he can continue gis work on the Hassaikai then its nore than fine to him (if we're talking about after the raid THEN HE NEEDS TO SETTLE DOWN AND SOME THERAPY)

Cleaning master. Sucks at cooking.

Okay, he is not that bad he can make a toast, but he just really doesn't like to do it, since is just so messy. Really enjoys your cooking though if you know how to...

If not his poor childhood friend will become the chef of you two. Seriously Hari need a break-

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Fuck. If HE had to break up he would be straight to the point. Cold and uncaring. Not even the whole "is not you, its me" no no. Chisaki will make sure to tell that he is breaking up because of you and thats final, being on his good intentions or not.

Kai would break up with his partner if they did something like cheat on him or something... and he is from the mafia you rreally want to take the risk?!

Or he would break up due to his fear of you getting hurt. But this will only happen when his paranoia would take over him.

He doesn't want to lose you soon, affirmative.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He feels unnecessary before he mets someone he feels really in love with. He doesn't believed in love when younger so its a tragic change.

And no. Chisaki wants to make sure he knows the person very well before he goes to get down on one knee for them. And surprisingly, if he feels like he is safe and can be vulnetable around his partner? Then he is on the cloud nine internally.

Only time will tell when you can get engaged with this plague man.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

TSUNDERE BASTARD-

Is that enough? No? Ok.

He is always scoffing and rolling his eyes when you are affectionate with him but ny god dont stop or else he will discount his rage and frustation on poor Rappa.

Although, when he gets a bit drunk or just overworked he is so gentle. Like, sweet words and all, it even shocks you sometimesm

For him, you are the light of his dark life, his angel. So he doesn't mind speaking behind closed doors on how much he loves you and cherish you being here with him. Likes to carres your cheeks with the back of his gloved hand or plant sweet kisses on your forehead, hands and most of all: lips.

Appreaciate it because his behaviour can change on how you take his words.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nope. Only when he feels the urge to it, when he is tired or when you are down.

He is not much of a hugger. But is willing to give some to you since... you're special to him.

Although Chisaki hugs are like 👌😤. His arms caging you to gis chest and how warm it feels its just heavenly. He hugs you close and likes to give you little squezze that does not hurt to make you sure he is not letting go for a while.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Long. Long time until he says this.

Saying those three words means to him only one thing: vulnerability.

Its going to take a lot of time for Kai to let out those words, mostly sure that his partner will be the one to say it first, but Kai would jjst stay there and not reply.

One: embarrassed as heck; Two: he is sure that he loves you back but... he needs time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He is more overprotective than jealous. Yet he does feel it. A lot.

He doesn't trust OTHERS, he knows you love him. But the world around him failed so many times when he was young that this man has doubts even on his most considerate coomurate. He fears that they might take advantege of you.

A tiny part of him fears that you will leave him because he is not the mostproper partner, but his pride takes over that very easily.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft, passionate and hot.

As spoken before Kai loves to kiss your hand, forehead, cheeks and lips. Those are the cleanest and softest places he found to make you embarrassed and all soft.

He isn't much to being kissed... but he does love it when he is there working and then you rub his shoulder a bit before kissing his temple than pecking his lips softly.

Leaves him a blushing mess all the time.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

*laughs* ERI-CHAN-!

I have a few scenatios of him actually being a good dad so... I will just skip this one and let you all see it for yourselfs.

Although, one word. Strict dad. You guessed right.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

My HEART THEY ARE THE BEST

Especially when he doesn't go to work because its only there that you can see his resting face on the pillows. Usually when he goes to work he gets up, dress himself and carres your check softly before leaving a kiss on your temple and leaving.

When he is free you're trapped. Cant get out of the bed until he does.

Sweet scraches and petting coming from him. TAKE THOSE.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Soft. Watching him, tired as always getting out of his clothes to put his nightwear. If neither of you feel like crashing down onto the dreamland, Chisaki will pick one book you may like, let you rest your head on his chest, shoulder or lap as he reads it out loud while scracthing your head.

If he is on the mood he might even sing you a lullaby... only if you're feeling down though.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

After a very long time on the relationship.

If he does have a mentalbreakfown he is blurting everything out like he is about to die and just needs to tell you everything. Although it would be almost impossible.

I feel like Chisaki would slowly reveal things of himself to you. Is the most like to happen.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Easy peasy little squeaky.

This man gets angry easily but he does know how to control himself over this situations... although when he loses his patience he does get pissed off (we saw him already guys with pops and the heroes)

In discussions he woudl rather distance himself then to just shout at you though.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

STALKER

He knows everything and more about you. Every little detail he will remember

Seriously, he might still have that annoyed face of his when you're talming but he is listening and paying attention.

Might as well surprise you with your favorite sweets or flowers.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

First kiss.

He never kissed someone besides you so all the memroy is very well guarded on his mind and he does cherish it everyday.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Overprotective. Will kill for you, overhaul and then kill again for you.

Chisaki is powerful, not only by his quirk but his status as well so only one look of his is enough to scare the others away.

Or his threatenings like... slipping his glove out and showing his victim his bare hand as a signal to not speak or dont come any closer unless they want to die.

Will fell weirded out if you protect him since like... he is a boss of the mafia? He doesn't need protection? He is your knight in shinning armor not the other way around.

... although it makes him a bit embarrassed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

So much money that the Hassaimai is stealing from other gangs because of this asshole expending shit tones of moneh in your guys dates.

Everything you once thought or mentiomed for him is there. He is not afraid to spend money when it comes to you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Brush off something that its important to you bit seems unimportant for him.

Gets rude sometimes.

Always demanding on cleaning duty.

Wanting to keep his personal espace due to his mysophobia.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

Not much. He only gives care to his cleaning habbits and his smell. Definitely not because you find his scent amusing and devine. Nope. Definitely not.

He doesn't care about looks. Really, do not give a shit. Is just a bonus to him. You're divine and angelic to him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Many thumbs up.

He feels extra annoyed and bothered when you're not around. Pls stay with this plague man.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Cant sleep without you on his side. Really, he just cant. He tried many times already but just ended up scoffing and going after you just because he needed to sleep says him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He calls you brat as a affectionate nickname but seriously, he doesn't want a child as his partner, so dont be too childish. It irritates him a lot.

BEING ORGANIZED IS NOT A OPTION IS A MUST. or else it will feel like he is more occupied scolding you then loving you for that matter.

Hates. HATES. when his plans doesn't work well and when suddenly you cancel a date of you two or any plans in general.

Hates.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

Cling to you for dear life when he gets comfortable with you. And I would suggest you to stay awake for a bit longer than him since he mumbles in his sleep.

Might be nightmares of rombas chasing him with knifes or words of how much he truly loves you? You might as well find out.

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[vsa-pieldepapel]

TEEMO and TRISRTTTTT

Larvae spawn ask meme

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you their:

Name: -Striker 

- Trinity

Teemo and Trist arent really that good at names huh

When Teemo and Trist are referring to both siblings at once, they use the terms The Squad and The Platoon.

Gender:

Striker is XY chromosome. Trinity is XX chromosome

General Appearance: why the fuck do i submit myself to this

Personality: Striker is a really loud, boisterous boy. Really reckless and if something is stupid and dangerous and a kid should not be doing it, he’s in. Quite energetic, always bouncing off the walls. Interested in the mechanisms of things, and how they work. Screams a lot and  laughs like thunder. Loves jokes, pranks and play-fighting. Does not care about getting dirty, ripping holes in clothes… Very resilient, capable of bouncing back from any difficulty. Massive optimist. Sees the good in everything. Extremely extroverted and outward with emotional expression, you can read him like an open book

Trinity is a girl so quiet one might initially assume something is wrong speech-wise, but it isn’t. She just does not like to ‘waste words’. Highly intelligent and a really keen strategist and problem-solver. Her presentation is often too impeccable for a kid, her posture is perfect, and she’s an excellent student and trainee. Absolutely adores nature, strolling through the woods, botany; but also literature and music. Quite the cultured gal, however—absolutely TERRIFYING when in fighing mode. She and Striker play-fight so much one might assume from the outside they hate each other— no… thats just how they spend time. Since she is so poker-faced, the few explosions of pent-up rage can get quite violent

Special Talents: Striker has near-perfect aim. Great physical strength and great speed. Zero fear in the face of danger (this can be a two-edge weapon really). Unafraid of new experiences, trying things, seeing if they work. Though he doesn’t really pay too much attention when explained things he’s not interested in, he will be quite skilled on what does absorb him. Very optimistic and hard to emotionally crack. Loves the work ethics of his mom, and will grow up to be a Gunner, simply because the heroic stories thrill him so much. First weapon is airsoft guns that he is an absolute pro at handling. Fiercely loyal

Trinity has quite an impressive memory catalog, knows taxonomy of a wide array of plants by memory. Amazing survival skills. Knows not only how to do the poisons—but the antidotes, too. Amazing problem-solver/strategist, even under pressure. Though not as physically strong as her brother, she is incredible at speed, stealth, and doing diplomacy and negotiation. Would make quite the fucking mothership scout if it eventually interests her to go down that path. Very loyal, but is a bit more of a tough-love kind of loyal. Her weapon is a bow/arrows with toxins that she’s pretty good with, since she took it up as very young kid (with harmless arrows with foam tips, lol) 

Who they like better: Striker is like the biggest mommy’s boy. He’s so jabby, loud, evergetic, and reckless that he has the same vibe as a mini-male-Tristana its hilarious. He’ll go to dad mostly if he needs some calm, thoughtful advice, cause Trist is an amazing supporter but really bad at wording advice. For casual hangouts he definitely likes banter with mama a lot more. Tristana also teaches him about gun mechanism stuff, which he enjoys a lot. 

Trinity is Teemo’s babygirl. They trek a lot around different areas of the woods on what are basically trips to learn taxonomy. Might be very tedious for some, but it’s actually one of those things that Trinity gets a real goddamn thrill out of. The household is awfully quiet if Trist and Striker are gone, and though Trinity is used to the noise and the mess, she likes those times alone with dad. She will often go to Tristana if she needs advice on ass-beating, cause Trist is the best ruthless practice dummy to practice close-range fighting. Teemo was the one to teach her how to use the bow and provide targets. 

Who they take after more: Striker is a LOT like Tristana… But though he and his sister are closely small copies of the opposite-sex parent, they will have moments/times where the other parent truly shines. He becomes a lot quieter and more thoughtful if the moment is too dire/stressful, and though he does reckless/stupid things very often, he has a bit more ability to clean up the mess afterwards than Tristana ever will, and deal with the consequences/punishment and learn from it too. He’s also more patient than his mom with many situations and people

Trinity could really pull off being a mini-Teemo, but though really calm, serious, collected, and poker-faced, Tristana shines in the fact that she doesn’t really stall violence as much as Teemo tries to do. Diplomacy will not last for more than a few minutes if the opponent is too stubborn to change their mind… She’ll just launch herself and switch to ass-beating mode. She also got Trist’s mad fits of rage… Doesn’t explode that often, but when it happens its messy

Personal Head canon: Teemo and Trist retire from the military just to spawn the platoon, but it’s such a part of their lives that a lot of the education of the kids is military-like, just softer. They are raised to be disciplined and respectful, and if they do chores/achieve things, they will often be rewarded with mock-badges and things like cash, a nice meal, etc. Because they’re children of soldiers (really good soldiers too) they get free, easy entrance to the military high school Teemo and Trist actually attended when younger. 

Teemo and Trist will often (many times not even intentionally) refer to them as “cadets” “rookies” or “soldiers”, in return the kids will often go “sir”, “ma’am”, “captain”, “chief”… 

Trinity and Striker bother each other a lot and mess with each other and scuffle but if any kid fucks with eather of them, the other will beat the fucker up mercilessly

They are good childhood friends with Lilith and they band up to protect her fiercely (both of them are older than her). She has given friendship bracelets to both

Striker is older than Trinity (by like 11 months…) but in every other aspect you would assume Trinity is the older one. She’s even the taller of the two

Face Claim: no

never make me make a reference sheet for siblings again

(teemo and trist are, OF ALL THE SHIPS I HAVE EVER HAD, the only ones to have more than one kid. fun trivia there)

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Perfect

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. This is like..uhhhh idk?... a 'batim' au idea? I guess? Im Not sure idk..its just that I got the idea from there and Instead of bendy its jokey, but not really exactly what happend there in batim. Plz ignore the bad portrayed scenes XD blondie is a lot OOC here. Enjoy if you only can thx.

It was a typical afternoon, the sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue sky, fresh air filled the atmosphere swaying the palm trees gently by a breeze. David was at the recording room, a mellifluous melodic singing voice rose high, following the sweet, piping notes produced by the musical instruments around. After such a lilting, everyone toke a break, david sat on a chair, holding the lyrics for the new song in his hands. He saw a shadow approaching him, revealing his only cheerful boss. "Oh hey Mr. Blondie!! How are you in this lovely day!" "Hello david! Just checking on my young talented singer! How is the new song going?" "Its going great! Im just reading the lyrics again now!" "Thats good!...you know david...have you ever thought about how much the children love your jokey voice?" "Oh! Thats intresting...im sure everybody enjoy listening to it!" "Yea! they do....have you ever felt some...connections...to jokey?" "Connections? Mmmm well...I do feel that we both share a good love for the stage and thrilling the audience! along with the love to asssist other people and spread some optimism in the air!" "Thats beautifull!...Have you ever considered before...becoming this star that all those kids appresciate?" "That...looks pretty Mr. Blondie! But what do you mean?" His boss began to equivocally chuckle, it was low but icy, wasnt like his usual gleeful ones that gave an auditory hug, but david overlooked that, remaining unruffled till the answer. "David. Can you come with me for a while?" "Sure thing! But..what about the new song?" "Dont worry! It can be done in another time! now follow me!" They both left the recording room, the animator leading the ginger boy across the studio, while on their little trip to the unknown room they are walking to, david catched from away a sight of henry, tommy and norman talking together until a rueful rob drew near them, starting a conversation. David didnt mean to eavesdrop anyone, but their high voices did reach his ear. "Guys! Have any of you heared ANYthing lately about harriet? I cant find her anywhere! She didnt come to work and she is not at her home! I called her many times but she doesnt reply! Im really so scared..." rob vented, the three told him thag they didnt see her too. David felt sorry for the fellow worker, hoping that harriet is alright and will be back soon. He looked forward, though he only saw blondie back and his wheelchair, he could feel that he is trying to ignore something, he may have heard a little of the talking out there, maybe he feels sad too? But david was in his mind for a bit, wasnt aware of the time until he sensed that blondie stopped moving. This is when he noticed he is in an unrecognizable area he didnt see before, maybe this was a new place that got built recently?, " Here we are david!!" In front of both was a dark long way of stairs, it was only one storey up, just like one of those half open basemant stariecases. David knew not both will be able to clmib this, he was ready to push that wheelchair up, he looked at blondie concerned, whom just returned a grin. "Dont worry about me! I have my own ways for climbing those!" David didnt really get it, but he just let it go and left blondie to use to his own way, watching him in every step making sure he wont be close to any harm.

Dont ask how blondie climbed the stairs, he just did. that was a really narrow hall they were both in, in front of them a wooden door, blondie toke out his keys and opened it, only for both to be greeted by. "Finally!! Where Were ya!!" an angry wallaby yelled, looking as if he lost patience, it seems blondie was late to whatever meeting they should have done earlier, the room wasnt so small, almost looks like a little hallway with a wall at the end. The view was...tensed, it was a dark room with only a little bulb barley lighning it, orange colored light struggling to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays. It was almost as if candles were the ones giving the slight shine here. Wallaby, paul and murphy were there, standing near the sides of the walls, everyone in a specific place, two at the right wall and one at the left one, only a mile spearting each two. the menacing aura holding david in a tightening grip, why do blondie have such a grisly decorating tatse...He wasnt sure if entering this room is a safe idea. "Guys!! I Brought Our Last Guest!!" Blondie exclaimed in a chirpy tone, closing the door behind himm Last guest? What does he mean? "Can we PLEASE Finish This Now And Go out?" "Come on paul dont be such a killjoy! Enjoy the place!" "If you are telling us to enjoy this creepy atmosphere then I had lost all my faith in you." murphy sneered, clearly not comfortable or trusty with how this 'gathering' is going to end, nobody knows the goal behind it. "Come on David! Here! This Is Your Place!! Stay Still And Dont Move Ok?" Blondie said while putting david on a specific spot on the left wall. "Sure! Wont Move A Shoe!" David obeyed, blondie looked at him, but this time, although he had his usual smile that showed his white glowed teeth spreaded on his face, his eyes had shimmers with some inexplicable spite. "Everything is set~" He whispered this under his breath while walking to one of the corners, nobody heard that one. Three of the invited four toke a look at blondie whereas he was doing something uncanny at that distant corner. David turned at the person in front of him, which was paul. "Oh! hey Mr.Paul!" But being the tedious man he is, paul didnt respone, only focusing on the book on his hand, thats why wallaby seemed as if he was gabbling to himself. The young boy then looked to his right side and saw murphy, still keeping an eye at blondie in a suspicion, despite not understanding a thing from what he was doing, nobody can just fetch someone to a room like this without being not up to something. "So Guys! Why are we here?" "I Dunno david! Mr. Blondie just went to me and told me that I gotta get here cuz he needs me for somethin, well I dont see anything! All I do is just standing on dis here spot not movin a leg!! What about ya paul?" "I dont care I just came here so he can stop nagging me." " I came here after he told me that I can be a 'star' like jokey." "Wait you gonna be a star? Ooh! Thats why we standin on a star!" "What?!" Wallaby words strongly drived murphy attention, making him watch the ground, they all noticed it now, they are standing on 'stars' that are drawn on the floor. David felt inside him a very straied premonisition feeling that was telling him to move, he didnt understand it, why would his guts tell him to move away from a single drawing on the floor? He promised his boss he will stay still there....how could a star drawing hurt anyone? Since whe do drawing harm people? But no matter how much he tries to brush off that feeling, it feels like a stiff weigh was being held on his chest, it made him feel so sick, maybe he just needs to move because his legs hurt him? Yeh yeh thats just it. The cheeky lad toke one step only out of that star shape, he tried to persuad himself its his legs aching and not because of a sixth sense, and that was really something he should be thankful for because. "Guys! I think we gonna be a stars!" "Wallaby...I dont think this star shape is used fo-" "GOODBYE MATES!!"

And with a casted spell and a flash of an eye, everybody was drowned with an unknown colorful sticky liquid that fully covered them, gluing them to the ground. Expect David, who fell down to the ground aspect with a horrible fear that rised behind his eyes from the grisly vision that immediately happend.

Blondie Stood there, watching him in enmity.

Blondie turned around, only to be so bothered by seeing the surviver. "Oh it seems I missed a shot! Im going to fix this~" The words had deserted david, the color quickly drained from his face, a cold wave embalmed him and his mouth ran dry, sweat poured down his body, Heart began to hammer against his chest, every muscle in his body shouted at him to flee. To escpae this imminent threat. He hurried to the door, using every little cell of power left to open it, but no matter how much he quickly moves the handle in fright, the door didnt open, oh yes, blondie locked it. Seeing no hope, he knocked on it so expeditiously and hardly, trying not to make his words stumbled, begging for someone outside to hear him. "HEEEEELLLP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME!!" "Come on David, why so nervous?" Blondie snickered from behind him, his voice hinting he is oncoming, his tone ringing in a sick icy way, sending chimes ringing in david ears, but he kept screaming for a rescue, he was not frightened nor afraid, he was beyond such mere nouns, he was going crazy, his boater hat fell from his head, it only reminded of how much he wants his family NOW in this profound situation, he just wanted to go back to them again, stay with his father marley at home and go to beach together or golf or car or wherever his father wants to go, staying in his parents arms was all what he desired, he would never wish anything anymore after this. He could no longer control his hands they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm, his legs collapsed underneath him, teeth chattering in fear, He slid down the door, bringing his knees up to his chest.

"I-I-I-I-I-I D-D-DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!"

"You dont understand? I hated you! Im who created jokey! He was my friend since the childhood! My friend since the start!! But you! I saw every little detail I gifted him in you! You were perfect, perfect for him, more perfect than me! Now that I had a studio of my own, I wanted him to be alive! I reached my wish by the help of you all, by animating and presenting him to all the children around the world, they loved him, just like me! But lately, I didnt feel that I made this dream come true yet...how can a cartoon character offset me of a friend who always stayed by my side that I cant make real! But now I found a second chance, a second chance to revive him, to this reality. Thats it! Thats the chance! By using some souls to bring those stunning characters and that convival cartoony world I created to reality...that was always my biggest dream...and whats a better chance than to have the voice actor whom I influenced the traits for the children 'star' right at my hand~ People will love you david~"

Blondie was right, if david dyed his hair black and wore some cheeks make up, he could exactly like a real life jokey, but who would need a cheap costume when you can bring jokey himself to reality. David recalled the times when he sometimes thought uncle harry may have been a little overprotective of him. He thought his uncle needs to ease a bit, nothing so dangerous will happen for him. Now, he regret thinking this, and wants him to overprotect him forever and ever. Fear became a tangible, living force that crept over him like some hungry beast, immobilizing him and his brain, holding him a captive and took control of his entire body, Shadows and echoes play on his senses warping shapes and sounds. That outlandish substance already reached his legs, his life flashed before his eyes and he ushered his bright unearthly ones shut.

Yeb, this is the angel end.

[baconpal]

so heres the long super paper mario post

strap in for why super paper mario is fucking bizarre and why that’s pretty much awesome

gonna be a good amounts of spoilers, so if you’re on desktop then hit that read more, and if your on mobile, then here’s your punishment for using this god awful app

super paper mario is a game that is incredibly difficult to put into words, but it leaves such a powerful, lasting impression on me and i can’t come to say anything first other than I love it so much, and if you havent played the game, please just go do it now, even if you have to pirate or emulate or something, just let yourself play this game. It’s one of those games that I really feel I can just recommend to anybody

it’s difficult to think of where to start with dissecting this thing so i’ll just start with the art since lookin at things is pretty easy

ART/WORLD DESIGN

every world in SPM is completely unique, not just in what type of environment, but it’s art style, and this is premised with the fact that none of these worlds are capable of existing together and are completely separate, and NOT part of a cohesive universe (LOOKIN AT YOU ODYSSEY I STILL THINK YOU LOOK STUPID)

The hub and the first 2 worlds are mostly just slight variants on the same general style of simplistic shapes and colors, with world 1 delving into more linework type aesthetics, and 2 focusing more on impressions and silhouettes, 

world 3 changes this completely with what is obviously an 8 bit kind of style, but instead of jarring over sized pixels, the world is composed of detailed tiles arranged to look like pixel art that imply a more real world, and not a gamey one, 

world 4 focuses on patterns and big patches of color to give the impression of the vast emptiness of both space and the surface of a barren planet, before giving you the “Whoa Zone”, with a striking mix of wire frame and futuristic UI style to it

world 5 takes the idea of nature being crude and simplistic and humanity being sharp, angular, and extreme and flips that on its head, with humanity and the space they occupy being these absolute memes with no sense of depth, and the plant life existing in a system of clean cut caves with futuristic technology and elegant historic values

world 6 simplifies a kind of colored Japanese painting aesthetic, down to the funny cylindrical cloud clusters and brushstroke trees

world 7 depicts what is essentially hell (yes there’s hell in this game keep your pants on) as a squarish blur of bright greens and warm reds and purples, and depicts heaven as fluffy land of clouds and Greek temples

and lastly, world 8 is inverted greyscale, where light is black and darkness is white, its simplistic and striking and i couldn’t think of a better style for the final area of a game so focused on the concept of light and dark

MUSIC

I’ll just try and keep it simple, the musics fucking cash money

The game makes great use of motifs when it needs to, where specific themes and instruments are used in other songs to suggest relationships and put battles and travels into perspective

And when it ISNT doing that, it’s just fucking funky stuff, with a weird trend of BOING and PLOP and SPLISH noises in the percussion because fuck you i guess

There’s a lot of good songs that do lots of interesting things, any of the like 5 final battle songs are great things to point to, but i’ll just go ahead and say the main theme of world 8 “Castle Bleck” is one of my favorites that isn’t super highly rated. It brings in the types of instruments that have been associated with the villain the entire game, but also throws in 2 very important things; a sudden triumphant burst of almost JRPG styled chiptune that pushes away the constantly building tension, which is then followed by the sound of a clock ticking, which is a musical motif only present in the songs “Memory” and “Promise” which is played whenever the memories of the player’s little guide thing and the main villain’s past lives together are alluded to. This one song holds a lot of weight, as well as simply being a fucking cool song.

GAMEPLAY

This is, sadly, the one place I’ll not mince any words and say the gameplay is not amazing by any standard, it’s pretty much a classic mario game if it had RPG stats, items, and random abilities granted through the character and partner systems. The 3D flipping mechanic is nothing astounding, though it is very interesting to see how worlds are constructed

One of the biggest flaws people will mark the game for in its gameplay is that it’s tedious, and while I have to agree, that’s because I’ve already played the game before, and the tedium only comes from not being completely invested in the experience anymore. I’ll get some specific examples in a bit, but there’s a few cases of “tedium” that i believe are 100% intentional and drive the story in an interesting way

STORY/WRITING/GAME DESIGN

Thats a fuckin broad section, but its pretty much everything else i have to say on the game, and where the most spoilers and random praise is gonna be

I’m not actually gonna talk about the whole story, more just the strong parts of it, under the assumption you’ve already played it or understand a story as simple as “villain wants to destroy world, hero wants that to not happen”

The writing and characters are just flawless, everyone is fun to be around, especially the bad guys, who you see more antics of than your own party. There’s goofy running plotlines about O’chunks and mimi essentially getting grounded and being forced to write essays about why they fucked up at beating mario, and big stinky brother dimentio teasting and bullying them and sneaking them out to do his bidding when The big Count Bleck is away

The game is full of referential humor to not just mario itself but all kinds of games, there’s skeletons in hell who are clearly just Marios from the mainline games who died in stupid ways, there’s an actual dragon quest turn based boss battle in hell too, and chapter 3 has an otaku villain who tried to get with peach in a simulated visual novel

but the humor exists not just in references, but in simple good scenarios, with things like “Having a game show in a bathroom when everyone's life is at stake” and “locating an ancient manuscript to use as toilet paper” or “flying through black holes to find a convenience store” and things of that nature

It also interacts with the players emotions in many interesting ways, one of the more lauded being chapter 2-3, where mario is forced into working off a massive debt of fictional money, and is required to do hard, boring labor. There isn’t anyway to avoid doing both the hitting a block 100 times and the running on a treadmill for a few minutes thing, but the constant feeling of “there has to be a faster way to do this” drives the player to prod around, find the secrets, and slowly discover how to break the system wide open and get to the end, and i love it for that

This entire game is some sort of bait and switch, to put it simply, while it’s already a bit of a departure from both mario itself and the paper series, the first 5 worlds are pretty fucking tame stuff, other than the void, which is a giant black and purple spot that sits in the sky, always, every single world has the void growing in its sky, and it does grow, every chapter it gets bigger and bigger and takes up the sky, but where this truly culminates into the “switch” part is chapter 6, which starts itself by presenting you with the most TEDIUS sounding chapter possible, fight 100 enemies in a row, and nothing else, and for 25 straight fights, that is all it is, so you’ve locked yourself into it at this point, you know whats up, but the void in the background begins to grow to the point of being the entire fucking background, and every enemy you face speaks as if they know they’re all going to die, and by the 30th fight, one of the villains comes to stall for time as the void completely swallows the world, and the party is sent back to the hub. When they decide to go back in to world 6, its empty, the entire world is a white void with a single black line making up the ground, and colorless destroyed structures occasionally peaking out of the ground.

and you walk on this white void for so long and you just feel nothing but regret and fear and no matter how fast you make yourself go you feel like you’ll never find anything, but you do eventually get your plot item and escape

then, Dimentio, one of the villains you’ve seen the least of, appears in the hub world, the safest place in the universe, and kills mario

he just fucking kills him

he puts mario in a box and fills the box with explosions and mario fucking dies and goes to hell because fuck you mario

then you go through all of chapter 7 just to escape hell (called the Underwhere cus how could we possibly be allowed to take hell seriously) and join up with your full party before confronting the final world, which i’ve already stated i just love the design off

the game just takes the comfortable ride you’re on and throws it into the fucking sun and burns you alive and i love it so much, even the very end of the game doesnt let up, where the main villain is overtaken by that absolute madman Dimentio (Whose name is a play on both Dimension and dementia), who clearly was powerful enough to have done the whole “ending of the world” himself, but did it this way for the theatrics of it

there’s a lot i could still say about the game, but this post is absolute rambling and its 2 in the morning but as usual, i just wanted to shit my thoughts onto the internet to people could maybe learn somethin about either the game or me and how i think and look at and respond to stuff, and as always, anybody who read this whole thing is cool and i love you a whole heck of a lot

[clown-bait]

Cheer Up (Monster Roommate AU)

I saw that a lot of you lovely people have been going through a bit of a rough patch and frankly I had been too so I put this together. Leechie has a bad run in with some enemies and is feeling really insecure. Pennywise swoops in to cheer her up. Or he tries to at least. Penny’s method seems to be the old shake and yell but he puts in a lot of effort and its the thought that counts.

The young nosferatu pulled her beanie further over her bald head as she stomped through the sewer. Today had be a rough day, so much that she decided that she was just going to spend her entire evening doing nothing isolated from everyone. Best place to do that was in the sewer there was too much going on back in the house anyway with holidays.

The only issue was shed have to deal with her clown. A hurricane on crack was easier to deal with than he was. As she stepped into the cistern the circus cart dramatically fell open revealing said clown laying in his nest in the most over the top seductive pose possible A flower that looked unceremoniously yanked from the ground by the roots was clenched between his teeth. he had even torn open his shirt like that of a cheesy romance novel cover. If she wasn't in such an awful mood from earlier she would have burst out laughing but she did grin a little and shake her head “oh great and he's horny.” she thought to herself.

“Hiya gorgeous.” he said huskily wiggling his eyebrows. Leech rolled her eyes and slid her backpack onto the stage.

Pennywise frowned when he didn't get the reaction he wanted and sat up.

“Oh come on!” he pouted

“You look ridiculous” Leech said not looking at him,

“Fun wrecker. What’s put you in a mood hmm?”

Leech removed her beanie and jacket flopping back onto the nest “Work.” she grunted.

The clown settled next to her running a large hand over her torso and up her side. “Let ol Pennywise cheer you up then pet” he leaned down and kissed her temple but she was distant something else was going through her head. Leech rolled away from him and let the emotions she had been bottling the whole way home slowly release. Penny cocked his head to the side and sniffed her then he sat up. “Tell me.” he demanded.

“I’d rather not”

“You can either tell me or I’ll find out”

“What’s done is done Pen revenge wont make the damage better”

The clown growled growing angry at her stubborn self deprecating attitude. He grabbed her and pulled her back over onto her back in frustration only to pause when he saw the tears in her eyes, one of which was slightly bruised. He realized she came in without her wig or her uniform. The clown glanced over to see her hand was wrapped in a crude bandage and there were scratches starting from her ear to below her jaw. She’d been in a fight again.

“Who!”

“Pen-“

“WHO!”

“If I tell you you'll get me in even more trouble”

His eyes were furious red and yellow and he was snarling. She was being difficult with him and he would not have it. No one made his girl feel this way. He slammed two horrible claws next to her face and roared snapping his jaws. Leech didn't react beyond a sigh.

“Alright fine I got into a fight after work”

“You were attacked?”

“Well,….I was kinda the attacker” she looked off to the side.

“What did they do”

“Some girls from the sorority said some things. I punched one in the face while they were leaving.”

“And your hair?”

“I-“ tears pricked her eyes and shame stung at her face. “I didn't win the fight” she found that she couldn't hold the water works back and tried to cover her face in embarrassment.

“I was weak there were three of them and- god damnint I'm such a shitty vampire.” she sat up and hugged her knees covering her head with both arms. “I don't even know what you see in me, I cant even win a fight without getting the shit kicked out of me and robbed. Some shitty monster I turned out to be.” she sobbed into her jeans “I'm not worthy of being here”

“Cut it out Leech” Pennywise snarled.

“They were right, I'm a fucking ugly loser trying to act like I matter”

“Stop talking” he roughly tried to unwrap her but she hissed and yanked him off.

“I should have just stayed dead”

“THATS ENOUGH” the clown roared. He yanked her up to a standing position not caring if he was being too rough. “LOOK AT ME” he yelled. “It seems like you need to be reminded of your place in the hierarchy on this miserable floating rock”

“P-Pen”

“SILENCE” he boomed causing the vampire to cry and whimper more. “It goes me, you, the dirt and everyone else you got that?! The only person above you is me, no one else!” he grabbed her throat and pulled her tear soaked face towards him. “You got that Leech?” tears flooded down her face and fear radiated off her for once in his life Penny didn't like the smell of it.

“Stupid girl” he snarled and pulled her against him. He felt her cold tears on his bear skin and he squeezed her tighter. “Well make them pay little one they’ll learn their place.” he mumbled. Pennywise sat her down and held her, letting her slip her hands in the hole he had torn in the chest of his costume earlier. Comforting wasn't his forte, but it helped to have someone hold on to her while she let it all out.

After a few minutes her scent began to sweeten again and he felt a soft kiss on his chest where his pectorals would be. “Thanks” was all she whispered.

“Hmph trouble maker” he teased “Always biting off more than you can chew.” he kissed the top of her head and a wave of relief washed over him when she finally smiled.

“Theres my girl” he smirked. “Now let Pennywise take care of those tears little one” he licked the salt off her face Leech sighed and giggled as his hands cupped her jaw his fingers teasing her sensitive ears. “Thats more like it.” he purred against her skin. He used his warm purrs to sooth her, his long arms locking her too him until he was sure the last of the sadness was gone from her. The clown hated seeing his mate upset like this especially the feeling of powerlessness that came with it. “My beautiful perfect mate. Penny loves you never forget it.” he whispered to her. Leech’s sweet smell flooded Pennywise��s nose, the bitter smell of sadness dissipating off of her replaced with love and adoration for him. “What would I do without you.” she sighed dreamily up at him. The clown gave her a cocky grin and kissed her softly. Penny pushed a hand up her shirt Leech winced when he touched a large fresh bruise on her side. He frowned at the new injury pulling her shirt off to inspect it. “I uh…I got kicked a little” she said sheepishly.  

“So many things for me to fix. Don't worry Pennywise will find them all and make it better.” he chuckled and attacked her neck, kissing and sucking the scratches as her blissful giggles echoed through out the frozen sewer.

It was a relatively slow beginning to her shift, Leech slung a wash rag over her shoulder and filled another glass from the tap sliding it down to a couple of truck drivers. She was sneaking glances over to them wondering if she should bring one to the back. They were running low on rib meat after all. The one that looked like a lumberjack seemed particularly tasty, muscular but slightly chubby, a good mix of the two. Just as she was going to make a move and talk to the group Chop Top sent Sandy over to them to charm one of them to the back. The wig wearing hippy looked at her and pointed at some dirty glasses by the sink. Sidelined for the pretty girl once again. She sighed ego taking a hit. Leech tossed her wash cloth to the side and grabbed a pack of cigarettes. “I’m taking my ten minutes” she growled eyes narrowing when Sandy went for the thinner leaner of the truckers instead of the chubby lumberjack. “Idiot theres not enough fat in the meat for a good marbling you cant just pick the most attractive one.” she grumbled as she passed Leatherface in the kitchen. The giant grunted while sharpening a butchers knife. “Stupid pretty bitch. Drayton just hired her because she has tits.”

“She also has hair and a pleasant personality princess”

Leech spun around to find the elder Sawyer brother glaring at her. “Heard you were starting some trouble yesterday. Wheres your wig girl?”

“I- I lost it.” she couldn't tell him she punched a customer in the face even though the bitches started it.

“Well find it so you can work girl. And hurry back! We got a few more in and you got a better eye for choice stock than Sandy! ”

Leatherface slammed the meat cleaver into the cutting board and glared at his brother

“Ah hell Bubba I’m just going off the facts. She's better at luring when she doesn't look diseased. I know your fond of the vampire but Sandy is better at bringing them in”

The giant huffed and continued chopping meat. Leech had paused at the door hearing the whole thing, some tears stung her eyes as she left the building. The vampire lit a cigarette and shakily let out a breath of smoke trying not to cry. She wasn't succeeding.

After crushing out the butt of her smoke and silently crying to herself for a few extra minutes she heard Chop Top bang on the door telling her to come back in. “GIVE ME A MINUTE” she yelled wiping her face and collecting herself. She pulled her beanie on tighter trying to hide her big ears and bald head.

Leech’s dead heart sank when she saw the three more werewolf sisters sitting at the bar. Fantastic. She walked over to the dirty glasses and grabbed her towel beginning to clean while trying to ignore the girls as long as possible.

“HEY BALDIE” well that was brief.

“Oh sorry didn't see you there…” she tried to be cheerful pretending yesterday didn't happen.

“Sandy said we get free drinks since were sisters! Start pouring bitch.”

Leech sighed deeply her ego getting beaten even more. “What’ll it be then”

“Mojitos!” they all laughed knowing it was a tedious drink to make. Leech sighed again. “And hurry up we’re thirsty!” the dark haired girl called out.

When she finally finished mixing the drinks she passed them down to the girls and turned back to her dishes. She wished she could disappear and go home.

“Barkeep!” she heard a man call behind her. Leech snarled ready to snap at him. She spun around in fury “WHAT?” she shouted but cut herself short when she saw the well dressed man dreamily looking at her over the counter “P-Pen?” she silently gasped. He flashed golden eyes and winked at her.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“Came to get a drink” he smiled.

“Since when do you drink.” she leaned against the bar. “Your’e not going to pull anything are you?” she glared

“Me? Cause trouble?”

“I’m on thin ice already” she stepped back and pulled the towel off her shoulder.

“Then you better keep that temper in check firecracker.” he stared intently at her still puffy eyes and her nervous glances at the girls in the booth. “Well? Aren't you going to take my order dear?”

“Let me guess something overly sweet.”

“Whiskey”

She gave him a surprised look and Robert smirked. “The clown has the sweet tooth. I tend enjoy something a bit stronger. Top shelf, surprise me.” he grinned a slight blush crept on a vampires cheeks. “uh… oh um, let me- just I’ll Uh….I’ll get you some good shit” she turned around trying to hide her flustered face not realizing her audible swoon. Leech always had a weak spot for men who appreciated quality booze. Robert chuckled when he heard her.

“What was that?”

“What?”

“That noise you just made”

“I-I um it was nothing”

Robert sat back with a smug look on his face. He glanced over at the booth with the sorority werewolves who were staring at the exchange with jealousy. An even more smug grin grew on his face. He turned back to his bartender and snorted a bit when he saw her hopping up and down trying to reach the bottle on the top shelf while her other hand held her beanie onto her head. “Having trouble?” she spun around face dark in embarrassment. He found it adorable.

“I-I can get it sorry hold on! D-don’t laugh at me.”

Laughter came from the girls at the booth. Leech glanced over at them  awkwardly and winced a bit taking the emotional blow. She swallowed her pain and left to grab a stool. Gray snapped his head over to the women threatening growl rumbled in his chest. Leech finally grabbed the bottle and poured it into a glass sliding it over to him, he caught her hand and held on for a moment before letting her go in an attempt to bring her attention back to him. He wasn’t going to let these bitches steal their moment. Robert took a large gulp of the honey colored liquid and forced it down his throat one eye rolling up and out of alignment as he shook his head slightly. “Its good” he wheezed. Leech laughed. He wasn't actually a whiskey drinker at all.

“Do you even know what I gave you?” she teased.

“Scotch” he said trying to be confident

“That was bourbon”

“Well yeah I knew that just making sure you did.” he glared and pouted.

“You're supposed to sip it.” she chuckled grabbing a few mixers and bottles. “You don't have to do that to impress me Pen-Robert.” she tossed a bottle into the air catching it in her shaker. “Just having you here has been enough” she took his glass and finished his drink for him enjoying the rare treat of her favorite beverage. “Why are you here anyway be honest.” she said as she began making a new drink.

“Teaching some dogs a lesson.”

“You cant kill them Pen I'm on thin ice right now for just punching one after hours. You're gonna get me fired.”

“Fine, I can distract you though” he grinned and glanced over at the women glaring at them. For the first time that night Leech genuinely smiled. “See? Its working!” he winked at her. She poured the new drink out and added some frilly garnishes to it feeling warmth despite her skin being cold and dead. “Here you'll like this better. Its on the house as a um..thank you.” she slid the cold red drink into his large hand. He looked a bit ridiculous with the overly sweet frilly drink, sucking on a silly bendy straw but he seemed to like the taste much better than the hard liquor. “StrAwBerrIEs!” his goofy voice broke through and the vampire practically melted. Leech threw the towel over her shoulder with new confidence and went over to refill the truckers drinks “Its called a daiquiri!” she yelled back to him.

Robert grinned at her as her stood and straightened his coat. Back to business. He walked over to the table of werewolf girls. “Good evening ladies” he began.

“Well hey there handsome glad to see you were finally able to break away from that diseased looking freak and meet some real women.”

Robert's eye twitched and drifted out of alignment for a brief second.

“That’s actually what I came to talk about she's missing something, heard you lovely girls might know something about that”

“What are you her boyfriend or something?”

“And if I am?”

“Should have known you were the clown, the bloodsucker deserves it after what she did to our friend.”

“Yeah and for the other time she nearly killed Danielle!”

“Don't forget when she egged Janet’s car and lit our lawn on fire.”

“The bitch burned a Batman symbol into our grass.”

Robert looked over at his mate and rolled his eyes. He sighed sounds just like her.  “Do I look like I care what my mate does to lesser beings? You've hurt her and I will kill each and every one of you unless you give me back whats her’s.”

“You can’t do shit clown. Sandy says she’ll be fired if she causes one more fight.”

“Face it you lost, go crawl back into your sewer!”

Robert's eyes were absolutely demonic he looked over at his mate who was making small talk with the truckers and back at the werewolves. He huffed and made his way back to the bar slipping behind the counter to grab Leech. He  pulled her away and into his arms angry rumbles vibrating in his chest. “HEY! no customers behind the counter!” she scolded him. Robert growled and began pulling her toward the kitchen doors. “Alright your eyes are terrifying right now, what set you off?”

“How much do you need this job” he snarled.

“Do not!”

“They need to be taught Leech!”

“Pen, please for me.”

He shut his eyes tightly and frowned. “As soon as they leave then.”

“Theres no fighting you on this is there?” Leech rubbed her temples “Alright at least leave them alive”

“Can I break their limbs?”

“Fingers only”

“You're no fun”

“Go sit down. I take my dinner break in a few minutes we can discuss this more over a meal, I'm thinking large and meaty over there in the red”

Robert glanced over at the truckers

“You sure you'll be able to handle that by yourself?” he chuckled patting her theatrically on the head

“I-I’ll be fine”

“I’ll be watching little one”

She was able to work surprisingly quick spilling a drink on her target and apologizing profusely the large muscular man rose up and towered over the small vampire. She swallowed hard and grabbed a towel leading him to the “restroom”

“I’m so so sorry sir is there anything I can do to make up for this?” she begged and opened the door to the mens room for him. She glanced over at her beloved clown and winked licking her fangs with her tongue. He glared at her despite knowing that she was going to dispatch her prey as soon as the door shut behind them.

“Hmph not interested in you”

“Uh how about a free round of drinks after you clean up then?” she tried pushing him through the door.

“Why don't you get your little waitress friend to come over here and then well talk”

Leech's eye twitched. “FINE I will go and fetch the pretty one”

“Woah you got some real insecurities doll”

“You think?? Look at my fucking head I'm bald and diseased looking as shit! I'm terrible at this. I don't even know what my boyfriend sees in me because I suck at being what I am while he's like a god at it. I’m just an ugly nobody who cant do anything right!”

“Uh why are you telling me all this?”

“I don't know buddy I’ve just had a horrible past couple days bear with me here”

“Look lady I'm just gonna go….”

“Yeah…yeah ok whatever I don't care anymore”

Robert sighed getting up from his seat Leatherface had poked his head out of the kitchen when he heard the outburst and the disguised clown gave him a nod as he pushed his mate outside away from all the commotion.

“Rob what are yo-“

He silenced her quickly by holding her cheeks and kissing her. “You need to stop this”

“I’m fine”

“That was not fine” he glared at her “Remember what I told you Leech”

“I know, I know you, me, everyone else is dirt”

“Then why are you treating yourself like the dirt hmm?” his thumb wiped a small tear off her cheek.

“Cant help it”

“You're leaving work early today understand?”

“Pen I cant I'm already in trouble”

“No, get your stuff dear”

“There’s no fighting you is there”

He hugged her tight kissing her on top of her head “Nope!”

“Let me go in and tell everyone I'm not feeling well then so we can get out of here.”

“Don't keep me waiting gorgeous.” he grinned.

——

Leech went to grab her bag from under the bar convincing chop top to take over for her. Luckily he agreed that she needed a break since she’d been working hard to earn some extra cash for the holidays. The nosferatu began making her way out to the back exit when one of the girls stopped her pulling her towards the main entrance of the building.

“What the hell do you want?”

“Payback bitch.”

“For what you already beat me?”

“Like you actually learned your lesson fangs.”

“Look mutt you touch me again and I wont hesitate to defend myself.”

“Then do it what are you so scared of?”

“I…..I need this job ok” Leech pushed pass them and out the door trying to keep her temper in check. They were baiting her and she knew if she took it she’d just be humiliated and jobless. Sandy would say she struck first and it'd be all over.

“Coward” the werewolf spat. “Go home and cry to your circus freak baldy.”

Leech froze. “I am not a coward”

“Then prove it”

She spun around and her bones cracked and fingers dislocated morphing into claws as she flexed them she was prepared to beat someone to death with her fist if she had to. She charged with a snarl something grabbed her and yanked her back. Robert pushed her behind him.

“Call her that again and I’ll break every bone in your body.” he said still holding the frenzied vampire.

“LET ME TEAR HER THROAT OUT PLEASE PEN!” Leech screeched like a  possessed banshee her voice was distorted and demonic, the bones in her arms and shoulders cracked in and out of place. The disguised clown recognized the start of a uncontrolled frenzy and pulled her against him tight.

“We’ll be in touch” he snarled and they faded away into fog.

They reappeared in the middle of the street Leech broke out of his arms and charged forward screeching and eventually flat out roaring, nearly going into full monster form while slashing the air in frustration before falling to her knees. Her elongated twisted arms dropped to the side the razor sharp claws clacked against the pavement.

“You done?”

“Yeah. I'm done” she said silently half to herself. She felt Robert reach behind her and drag her up to her feet her bones cracked back into their normal place and size. “Are we feeling better?” he asked turning her in his arm so she could look at his face.

“A little….not really”

“Would you like to help me do something about that?” he grinned at her wickedly.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Why don't we cause some trouble hm?”

“Well..... that is my speciality.”

——————-

He dragged her into a drug store and grabbed a few cans of portable gasoline tossing one to Leech and grinning. She cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion.

“The lovely ladies in the corner told me all about the bat symbol in their lawn thought we’d give them a repeat performance”

“Ok one I was drunk and two…..I…. get the big can.”

They filled a few bags with supplies Robert made an illusion of them never even being there and they disappeared out the door.

They reappeared outside the werewolf sorority all dolled up with christmas decorations. The vampire grinned at the clown who had resumed his usual form and was holding out a carton of eggs to her. “You do the honors love” he giggled. Leech grabbed two eggs “Music.” she said and Penny snapped his fingers the radio on the car in the driveway sprung to life playing her the perfect song to ransack a house to. The guitar began trudging along Leech juggled the two eggs and as the Beastie Boys Sabotage began to yell through the speakers the vampire chucked them onto the windshield of the fancy BMW. They covered the entire car with eggs, colorful rolls of paper, pies, silly string and crude scratched in drawings. Leech crawled up onto the roof and rearranged the reindeer into an orgy scene and Penny painted a threatening message in floating blood on their garage door. He then proceeded to kill every plant in their garden save for the pine tree done up like christmas in the front yard. Leech had that one covered in the gasoline and below it fireworks.

She pulled out a lighter and lit a cigarette standing side by side with the clown. They both looked at each other and each pulled out a pair of sunglasses. Leech flicked the cigarette and they covered their ears together as it landed on a fuse that exploded fireworks onto the gas covered tree at the climax of the song. The vampire stood in front of the inferno with a look of delight on her face while the music ended. Penny tied a single balloon to their mailbox before turning to his mate twirling her around and bringing her close to him. He snapped his fingers again and new music began to play from the debauched convertible.

“I still wish you'd let me kill them but this will have to do” he growled and twirled her again pressing her back to his chest. He ran his hands down her torso and Leech surprised him by twirling away when he got too close.

“Well well well look who's been practicing!” the clown purred with delight pulling her back into position. The nosferatu kicked and snaked her leg around him reaching up and dragging her hand down his cheek. “I did say I was going to catch up to you” she smirked and pushed his face away.  They danced in the fire light and when they heard the scream from the house the two stopped and laughed.

“Close your eyes love” he said quietly. Leech obeyed and felt him press his lips to her’s she felt a tug and everything shifted, sounds were gone replaced by a familiar dripping noise and there was no longer the scent of burning pine in the air. The clown grabbed his mates backside possessively while he kissed her, slipping his gloved hand down her pants to squeeze the cool soft flesh. “Float with me” he growled into her mouth Leech opened her eyes expecting to be in his lair. Which she was, she just didn't expect to be hovering at the top of it. “PENNY WHAT THE FUCK” she grabbed the clown tightly. “Scared of heights love?” He chuckled

“N-NO I'm just um I’ve never floated before”

“Just relax darling i think you'll enjoy this. After all we all float down here its about time you tried it”

“Ok but you're not going to do that deadlight thing right?”

“Not if you're good” he giggled. Leech sighed and buried the side of her face against him.

“I know you don't like hugs and cuddles but I need it right now.” the vampire mumbled while she nuzzled him. The clown rolled his eyes at her and fell backwards, Leech gasped slightly and clung to his costume. He held her to him as he floated on his back “turn around” he whispered excitedly the vampire twisted in her clowns arms so her head rested on his chest gazing upward through the metal grate at the night sky. Clouds parted and a crescent moon lit up the lair the floating bodies danced around them like a carousel.

“I was there when all those were created” the clown began gesturing at the starry sky “Saw the whole thing. Never thought they were all that special.”

“Wow so you're both a literal and figurative cradle robber then” Leech laughed Pennywise glared down at her squeezing her tight and biting her ear. “I'm trying to be nice Leechie!” he growled.

“Ok, ok! Sorry continue”

“ *ahem* Anyway, I'm glad I finally found something special about it.”

The vampire twisted around and rested her elbows on his chest. Pennywise’s golden eyes were staring right at her. “Pen- do you really mean that?”

“Every word my dear.”

Leech hugged her clown tight around his neck a few tears escaped her eyes.

“You know I think I feel a lot better now” she whispered.

“Good.” Penny said he snaked his hands down and squeezed her butt a couple times glancing over at her to gauge her reaction. Leech giggled against him. “Pervert!”

“Cant resist its just so squishy!” he gave her a playful slap while cackling.

“Do it again~” Leech purred. The clown let out a lustful rumble and squeezed her hard. She grabbed his ruffled collar pulling him in for a hungry kiss and Pennywise was more than happy to oblige.

-----------------------

DAWWW he loves his spooky girlfriend. Also I love the idea of Robert trying really hard to be mysterious classy whiskey drinker guy but secretly hating it and preferring girly frilly drinks that are extra sweet. He’d totally get the chocolate mudslide with extra sprinkles, and way too much whipped cream  while still trying to look like a suave badass. Its ok Robbie you get what you like you precious bean.

[queerloquial]

1. First game you played obsessively?2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

1. First game you played obsessively?

babys first video game and major special interest, skyrim. which i currently have roughly 1500-plus hours on between regular and special edition

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

the vast majority of my fic has been for dragon age. its just such a neat world and i love getting to play around in it, even though i dislike a lot of what biowares done with their own setting in later pieces and prefer to sandbox on my own

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

well first of all, dragon age brought me to the love of my life, so jot that down :>

second, aside from my darling datemate, video game fandom did land me some awesome mutuals, a number of whom are still around years later even though we share almost no interests and barely ever interact. technically quinns the only one who could be defined as a friend, bc we talk fairly regularly and stuff, but aside from the occasional reply to personal posts most of my mutuals are silent but still dear to my heart

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

when i get frustrated i tend to slam my hand down beside me or on my knee but one time i misjudged the landing spot and caught my hand on the edge of my laptop and scraped my hand, does that count

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

chargen takes an hour, minimum, and thats if im familiar with the cc and have a character in mind already

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

dudebruh, idk. the first thing in my head was ‘ace and aro friendly romance/qplatonic relationship arcs’ and ‘canon nonbinary characters’, so i guess thats a thing. ive never been particularly good at plots (hence, why all my fic is one-shot fluff...), altho i did once have an ongoing story in my head about a fallen god trying to get back to the overworld to stop the ruling goddess from destroying everything, and maybe in the process clear his name with the mortals who had hated and feared him for centuries if not millenia bc the goddess had warped the legends to reverse their roles and paint him as the callous self-centered destroyer instead of the literal author of life whose job had been to keep the record books of history so that no soul faded from eternal memory

maybe something with that

69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

uhhhh. shit. i mean theyve all got high and low points, and some i like more for the sandbox they gave me than for anything in canon. i like dragon age: origins and da2, but dao is tedious to replay and i feel like in order to get my ideal ending in 2 i have to trawl the wiki and plan out all my dialogue choices and party constructions for each quest before i start playing. inquisition is pretty and i liked the story i crafted with my lavellan (and also being a knight enchanter, even after the nerf its still super powerful with the right skills picked), but it doesnt really fit other ocs and the first several hours are a drag to play

ive enjoyed what ive played of andromeda so far, although it really couldve benefited from more development time and care from the parent company. i liked me1 and what ive completed of 2, though im terrible at combat, and dont often have the spoons for the level of concentration needed to pay attention to plot things (which is why i like exploration-heavy games, tbh)

fallout 4 is one of my favorites, id say. i tried new vegas, with two different characters,and just couldnt get into it. i think my biggest problem with 4 is that it kinda forces you into a specific character at certain points (ranging from having a nuclear family at the start and automatic attachment to your spouse and child, to being limited in good options in nuka world, down to the very trivial bit in the bradberton quest where you can only object to letting him live bc then you dont get cool weapons, and not bc /hes been living essentially in solitary confinement for 200 years/ and wants to rest, which i only remember so strongly bc i was going through my screenshots the other night and got grumpy about it all over again)

saints row is a series i like almost exclusively for the sandbox. my boss’ life follows maybe 10% of game canon; it might as well be an original work that just happens to have cities called stilwater and steelport and a gang known as the saints

dream daddy was cute and fun (and i Love damian and mary, and also amanda, best daughter), skyrim is my longest-running game and i enjoyed oblivion as well, starbound fulfills my need for mindless exploration and resource hoarding without the need for any plot or direction, stardew valley is adorable and lets me be a polyamorous bi nerdlord with a sweet farm...

i cant really pick a favorite tbh

[caribmdguy]

Looking back I’m super grateful that I had some time to adapt to things before term 1 med-I’ve met a group of amazing people, I stayed with 1 of the same roommates from term 1 MPH, and had a feel for how SGU operates. Term 1 was exciting, but also a grind. I think the best way to go about reflecting on this is to think about the different sections of the curriculum, and go from there, since your life does kind of revolve around that here, haha.

In the very beginning we had our white coat ceremony, which to be honest I rationalized at first as being silly. I thought to myself “why is SGU giving us long coats, we need short coats for our rotations so we can’t use these!” And “isn’t all this congratulatory stuff a little early? We just got here!” The feeling was amplified when a group of us went to the beach to take photos in our white coats and a nice local woman saw us with our stethoscopes and asked us if we could check her blood pressure. “We…don’t know anything yet. I’m really sorry..”

What the fuck is this

I felt pretty bad about that because here I am in the getup but no idea how to do anything. But the point was to ease us into what would become our life more or less. And an important message of the ceremony was to promote humanism-to treat the person, not the disease. To always remember that what you’re learning is important, but making that connection with your future patients is equally important. I came back to this thought a lot when my motivation faltered. So I put my skepticism aside and celebrated a little before the real work began!

I think I bit off more than I could chew this semester, and learned the hard way. I started an online MBA program just prior to starting, took up a treasurer position for the Public Health Student Association, and maintained running my business, which unexpectedly got a lot of press this semester. It started with a story in the New York Times, which has many errors in their depiction of what was actually happening. I had a lot of consecutive interviews for various news networks between class, and even did a “webcam” interview for a local cable station in my scrubs right out anatomy lab because hey, might as well I guess. It was incredibly frustrating to be painted the way I was, but I think the truth is out there now. In either case that’s a story for another day!

How things worked

To start out, we registered and collected our books and Physical Diagnosis (PD) kit. Altogether this cost just shy of $2,000, and is non-negotiable. Everyone gets these same set of books, printed notes to the FTM module and the same things in your PD kit. I’ve since found out that the stethoscope they get you is actually pretty nice so thats a plus. If you’re curious it’s a ProCardial C3 Titanium Stethoscope – Critical Cardiac Care Edition, which runs around $170. So not bad at all, although I have tried friends Littmann’s and they’re significantly lighter and more comfortable in my opinion. The one SGU gives you is really good, but it’s also pretty thick/heavy. Besides that small complaint, I’ve used it for everything we’ve needed to do here and have gotten pretty used to it, if anything it’s probably even overkill. The only other thing I gripe about is that many of these books I still haven’t used or barely used through the first year, and that we have no choice in that 2k upfront cost. And the most important book to have in my opinion, First Aid, was not in attendance sadly.

Lots of books….With printed notes for the FTM module on top

The PD kit they gave us

For us, I thought the format was pretty straightforward. 4 one hour lectures a day with multiple choice questions in the lecture you respond to on a “clicker.” These were used to check attendance-needing 80% to pass, with this rule applying to other things like small group and multiple choice questions. There were 2-4 small group sessions a week which were pretty varied, from histology (discussing slides), to wet lab (cadavers), biochemistry/physiology (discussion), imaging labs with ultrasound and discussion of radiographs, to patient encounters. There were two SIM lab encounters during the CPR module, which were really fun in my opinion. These were done in mock hospital rooms lined up where we as a group see a robo-patient. It can be pretty realistic-the patient is controlled and you can hear realistic heart sounds and feel pulses among other things, and they set it up for us to mimic some cardiac problems. To do these you have to be basic life support certified, which you usually do at the beginning of the term.

There were 5 major tests, each 3 hours long with 131 questions (except the first exam which is shorter, but all with 82 seconds/question), along with 2 anatomy lab exams. We had weekly multiple choice question sessions (where you need at least 50% right to get the point) and weekly 20 question/30 minute quizzes (again need at least 50% right). There was also an objective structured clinical exam at the end. The latter 4 exams all have cumulative stuff too.

Keep in mind that this is just my experience, they change curriculum a lot.

Foundations to medicine (FTM)

Our first block, the FTM module, was probably the easiest one the first year, which makes sense. But you do hit the ground running. It focused on foundation type concepts in biochemistry, the major genetic diseases and inheritance patterns, cell biology concepts like cell division and apoptosis, histology basics (going over various stains) and skin histology. While that’s the gist, there were broad concepts that touched on things from other disciplines we learn in more detail later on. We rote memorized autonomic nervous system drugs and some major anticancer and antibiotic drugs/actions for example. And learned some fluid dynamics things and about action potentials, that we don’t delve more into until renal/cardio. But looking back, genetics and biochemistry were probably the biggest topics (but fear not, no metabolism yet).

  There were two tests in this section, and small group labs that were mainly histology and biochemistry. By lab I mean there are 8 of us and one facilitator, and in histology we spend two hours looking at slides of cells. We each take turns presenting to the group. There is no hands on in histology-you just need to be able to know what you’re looking at. The small groups were pretty useful I thought because it forced you to learn the material, and for histology especially if you spent around 3 hrs prepping slides you were pretty well set for the test.

I admit here that having a masters in biochemistry gave me a pretty good leg up in this section, so I might be a bit biased here. A lot of the lab test and biochemistry stuff was straightforward IMO and didn’t go into much detail. Most of my friends did pretty well in this section. I will say that the first two tests were probably the biggest filters. A lot of people dropped out after these two tests, and MSK (the next block). I did feel a bit cooped up here. It’s all 100% book work. At times I felt more like I was back in grad school than med school, but with no lab time, a little more tedious. But it gets more fun when you get through it, and these basic concepts are seen again and again.

Right off the bat this is where you’ll start learning how to learn. For me this was the most overwhelming part-everyone is throwing around so many resources with weird names. In the beginning you’ll hear things like “You HAVE to try [insert resource]”

First aid

Firecracker

Picmonics

Sketchy

Uworld

Boards and beyond

(Weird name like Brocephalon’s) Anki deck

Osmosis

Pathoma

USMLE rX

MANY, MANY tutoring group resources…there are so many of these unique to SGU with cool names like G’s get degrees and Kahn academy lite

And on… There were so many that people were throwing at me to try and it was difficult not to get bogged down with trying all the things. But I’m glad that I did a “taste test” so I could find a few that worked for me. Some are better than others, some work for various learning styles better. I will say that I’m a huge advocate for Osmosis, which I’ll talk about more at some point because it has some unique features that helped me organize my study time more efficiently, and for any new med students out there, First Aid is an unofficial requirement. The rest of the resources are somewhat similar with each having pros and negatives and covering a spectrum of learning styles, but they mostly link to First Aid in some way. I wish I would have known this going into term 1 or I’d have bought a hard copy then. But fear not! There were enough resources floating around. If you need something, someone would have a copy of it or the various tutoring groups would have some amazing resources to learn from that they compiled/made themselves, which were in a lot of ways much more useful since they are based on what we’re learning at the time and will most likely be tested on. Everything you need is there somewhere if you asked. Learning to navigate all of the resources and get comfortable with some of them is important thought. And If anything, there’s too much.

Ah, one point on books though. You won’t use them. I studied more or less entirely from the slides. Notable exceptions, in my opinion are First aid (your new bible), Netters, and Gray’s Anatomy Review. But even so, I know plenty of people that never use the books and just use electronic copies (which everyone will have anyway). The other books are fine to use electronically in my opinion because you can load it into noteability or onenote and do a search for what you’re looking for. Wheras for those 3 I mentioned, I think it’s just nicer to flip through and anotate as you go. To each their own!

Musculoskeletal system (MSK)

This next block I started to feel more like I was in med school. We were introduced to the anatomy lab, and had our first patient interactions which included learning ultrasound. Coming off of FTM, being stuck in the books for so long memorizing weird words, this was a blessing in disguise. But it was hard, and a pretty drastic change in material, in the sense that whatever you did to learn in FTM will probably not work in this block. Welcome to all the anatomy. So. Much. Anatomy.

I thought I’d be alright with this because I aced anatomy and physiology in college. Boy was I fucking wrong. Med school anatomy is a different beast. Couple of reasons for this. One-knowing the names of muscles is great. But the questions are going to ask something to the extent of like “a man was stabbed near his shoulder and can’t move his arm. Which nerve is affected?” In a nutshell yes you need to know the anatomy but knowing the nerve routes, blood supply and injuries to all the things and how they would present clinically (buzz words like “winged scapula” or “claw hand” to tip you off). Secondly, I’ve heard that med schools have been slowly trimming anatomy. It used to be a pretty major part of the curriculum. But to make room for new things, they’ve had to cram this into less time. At my school, you’ll have just 4 weeks to learn the bones, muscles, nerves, blood supplies, ligaments, histology/physiology, injuries, and what in the hell you’re looking for on radiographs.

But man, it gets real in anatomy lab. It all looks like..meat at first. Is this “noodle” a nerve, vein or artery? IDK! Nothing is nicely colored or labeled in real life, so you have to find some sort of easy to find landmark to know where you are. I’d been used to the smell of formaldehyde after doing dissections on cats in college (couldn’t afford cadavers). But we started learning hands, and…that’s when it hit me I think, that this was a human, with a story, a life, a family….I almost threw up. To make matters worse the facilitator jokingly said “here, let me give you a hand” and gave me a dissected, amputated hand to hold, while proceeding to whip out his tools to point out some nerves on said hand. I wasn’t prepared for that, but hey. It was a good pun. Ultimatly I didn’t actually puke, and we had no idea what we were supposed to be looking for anyway. So…win win I guess?

Complete anatomy pic-actually from the Neuro module (term 2), but found out how to get some clearer images to label things I wanted to point out by then.

View from Complete Anatomy app on Ipad, has a ton of great features! basically labels everything you need to know for the MSK module. I relied on this and Netter’s primarily to figure things out.

Some notes on anatomy lab and what I did to study. First off, there’s no dissections-everything is pre-dissected, and I think this is overall a good thing. We can find what we’re looking for faster. The lab had a series of “loops” set up with say 5ish stations in each loop that has a different area dissected. If we were focusing on upper arm for example, one station may be a whole cadaver with the auxilia/clavicle exposed so you can see brachial plexus, one may be bones of the arm and hand, one may be various dissections to follow nerves to the hand, you get the idea. We’d typically have about 10 minutes per station with a list of important structures to find. In each station I’d say there were usually 4 of us, which I think is a good number without feeling too crowded and gave everyone space to contribute or take turns leading. There were plenty of professors wandering around for help as well, and aside from this the lab had pretty flexible hours. A good amount of people took advantage of this, I didn’t though, but I did come in once for a professor guided run-down of structures. The professor guided one was very useful, we got 2 (optional) of hese per block, and a group signs up for a professors time-slot. I didn’t go to open lab mainly because I eventually found a way to study that translated pretty well to finding structures on a cadaver, which I prepped before lab and then tested myself on he real cadaver during wet lab, and even in the MSK module (the most anatomy heavy by far), anatomy exams are not worth many points at all here.

One of my favorite parts of this was that we saw standardized patients to try the basics of physical exam, like reflexes and various maneuvers to look for injuries to the knee for example. We also learned how to use ultrasound here too, which was more focused on showing us the basics of how to work it and what different kinds of tissue look like. A good setup for the cardio section, where we spent more time learning how to view important heart and lung structures.

I prepped for 3-4 hours before each wet lab so I’d have an idea of what I was looking for starting with the dissection videos the school provided, which were (mostly) well done, but some were pretty old and pixilated or hard to understand. My learning strategy for this was a bit all over the place and I was really thrown to the wall with how to study the first week and slowly figured out what worked for me. I eventually figured that learning the pretty “cartoon” version of a structure and testing myself on cadaver picture atlases worked well. So to learn the leg muscles, I’d open up my trusty Netters atlas (good to know your way around so you can find things later!) and spent a lot of time looking at that. Then I’d mess around with it on Complete Anatomy, which is useful for getting a good 3D image of it in your head. It’s an EXCELLENT 3D anatomy app that does a ton of useful things like showing blood/nerve supply and actions of various muscles, among other things. I’d test myself using Grays dissection guide, and finally McMinn and Abraham’s clinical atlas. McMinns atlas was pretty overlooked by my classmates, but has tagged cadaver pictures with the answers off the image so you can cover the answers and test yourself in a similar way they tested us in the lab exam. That and Grays dissection also note common anatomical variations that are important to know. I basically have done some version of this to learn the rest of anatomy throughout MS1. But everyone learned this in so many different ways. A lot of people relied heavily on drawing things out and watching videos for example. With that said, I survived MSK but it wasn’t one of my better exams. Turns out I focused too much on learning the anatomy and not enough learning injuries, which was more high yield on our exam. I found this was an important lesson though….anything tied to an injury or disease is always going to be super important to know.

Cardio Pulmonary Renal (CPR)

The cardio part of this block was my favorite I think of this semester, while the renal part was probably my worst. From everyone I’ve talked to, you liked one and hated the other. To me the heart made a lot of intuitive sense. You could think through this one! If you knew the basics of how the “piping” goes, and imagine it as one big plumbing system flowing through the lungs, chambers and valves of the heart and to the body, you can imagine what would happen if there was say a kink in a pipe. And just thinking through what would happen saved me some time memorizing. I think some people that struggled with it got stuck on some of the details and memorizing everything. I will say some of the more difficult aspects of the cardio section was the ECG and understanding what’s going on. I can confidently say I was answering the questions mostly right on this because I followed an algorithm to figure it out that we learned. Could I explain why it’s like that or think through it? Hell no!

The small groups for this were pretty exciting I thought, we got to learn some basics of the physical exam like breath and heart sounds, checking blood pressure and various pulses, but my favorite was probably ultrasound. Although we didn’t get a ton of time with this, seeing a beating heart in real time on a real person was pretty amazing. We learned various views on this to look at valves, as well as what you’d see in serious problems like cardiac temponate-when fluid builds up in the pericardium, which “suffocates” the heart with less space to beat.

This was also when we did our SIM labs. I was super nervous the first time, because I didn’t know what to expect, and I think our patient had a form of congestive heart failure. But honestly it was fun and not super high stress at all. We got to apply what we learned in physical exam and hear/see things in an actual person with the disease that a standardized patient can’t replicate. The environment is very similar to a hospital room, and we learned what we should be looking for to assess a patient like this.

Lastly, we moved on the renal system, which is far more complex than I would have thought. While the cardio/pulmonary exam was one of my best tests this term, renal was my worst. The anatomy and embryology stuff was pretty simple, not a whole lot to the kidneys. But the physiology aspect was what got me. Renal physiology is pretty complex, with a lot of hormone and regulation type things going on. By now I was getting burned out too, and looking back I probably could have pushed a little bit harder. I was so ready for the flight home. I was literally counting the hours at this point to when I could fly home and see my wife again. And you know what? It was all good. Made it through.

I reviewed some of the renal things when I got back, but didn’t go too crazy because still had our summer MPH term that started immediately after the renal exam. I stayed on the island a bit longer and attended MPH classes in person for about a week because flights were super expensive right after classes were done. Thankfully, they switched to allowing us to take these classes online so I didn’t have to stay over the summer like I thought I might need to. Thank god for that!

Overlooking BBC beach after finishing up the last exam!

Packed and ready to head back home

Near where we did our MPH classes, overlooking the airport. Was so ready to leave.

Finally got a little beach time before heading home

Term 1 med, looking back Looking back I’m super grateful that I had some time to adapt to things before term 1 med-I’ve met a group of amazing people, I stayed with 1 of the same roommates from term 1 MPH, and had a feel for how SGU operates.