#(this is not true always but rn i feel like this)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Interview With the Vampire + Perfumes
i posted about wanting to make this and people were also curious, so here it is :) i absolutely have no qualifications to be making this. i just love perfumes and iwtv and wanted to combine em!! lmk ur thoughts <3 fyi this gets pretty long-winded and analysis heavy at times
louis de pointe du lac (new orleans/paris eras)
very slow world in my mind. i think he'd gravitate to the warm spice of it and the hints of whiskey. this also smells a bit like incense, which i think is fitting for him. louis' religious upbringing will always inform how i approach him. but this scent also reminds me of the clubs in new orleans, cigars and rich drinks, and that transfers over to him exploring new sides of himself in paris with photography and engaging with art and cafe scenes. i question the inclusion of the balsamic top note, it's actually much more tea-aligned! this is also quite masculine to me, which makes sense as, particularly in nola, he had to be a little overly masculine-- older brother, man of the house after the death of his father, business owner, and a black business owner in an extremely racist setting. i like this for him, i'd even go as far as to say maybe it's not quite masculine enough.
runner-ups: full incense by montale, nothing but sea and sky by une nuit nomade (this one is very bergamont heavy, which i also think he'd like) foreshadow by curatrix (this one is in my rotation rn and i am almost out because i use it SO much. musk, tobacco, incense, cypress)
louis de pointe du lac (dubai)
this one isn't similar to the above at all, but i think it sort of stays in line with what we know of louis in dubai. it's a very fresh scent, with residual fruity and cedar/fig accords snuck in there that are more noticeable with longer wear. this feels performative like most of dubai, put-together and appealing to the senses but deceptive at the end of the day. i think it's still something louis genuinely likes, but i see him, when he's happy, wearing something a bit more explicitly sweet-spicy, less wood-spicy. this is an amalgamation of the above scent and other sweeter, floral accords he'd drift to, but not quite leaning into it the way i suspect he'd be were he actually healed, had he actually confronted his past in full and emerged content with his circumstances.
runner-ups: of true minds by liis (this is inspired by shakespeare's sonnet 116, also smells like sooo complex. floral spicy with a bit of suede) angel dust by fugazzi (cashmere, pepper, bergamont)
lestat de lioncourt
i actually took so long to decide for lestat. after consulting @operahouses (thank you for enduring my lengthy perfume character analysis) i'm happy w this. it's very very floral, mostly rose, with jasmine and iris too. there's also the underlying patchouli and according to what i read, a sort of rosewater wine-y feel about it. walks the line of intense and mysterious with an elegant softness that feels very true to lestat coming off of paris and finding his footing (and the love of his life) in new orleans.
runner-ups: l'olympia music hall by histoires de parfums (floral, also the name is very lestat in the vampire lestat to me) baccarat rouge 540 by maison francis kurkdjian
rockstar lestat
this is zoologist, which literally makes perfumes off of animal scents. i think that is so fucking cool. anyway-- this is a very bold scent that takes the sweetness of the initial perfume i shared and expands upon it with some really interesting notes. there's passionfruit, leather, teakwood, and incense. (INCENSE, which i think he'd intentionally wear for the nostalgia it could potentially evoke in louis!!) but, overall, a very impressive and borderline questionable miasma of smells. because of this, it's startlingly unique. verrrry memorable, which is kind of the desired experience of a rockstar trying to get his ex-husband back.
runner-ups: triumph of bacchus by argos (this one has such an insanely diverse array of accords i feel only he could pull off) do not disturb by vilhelm parfumerie (this leans into femininity a bunch, which i am down for with lestat. also has some questionable accords but again i think this era welcomes that)
armand
so i'm not even going to pretend i'm not projecting with my first choice for him because i am-- press gurwitz 0.3 is soooo criminally underrated. it's got the knockout combo of the cinnamon and vanilla but when the smoky spice of it hits... it HITS! it also isn't overly sweet at all. the vanilla subdues the sweet notes and leaves sort of a smoky yet clean spiciness over time. i think also the idea of him wearing a gourmand scent has a lot of interesting character connotations in it-- wanting to be desired, wanting to be almost edible, to attract that sort of temptation. if not a gourmand, i can see him preferring fresh, clean, sharp scents-- hence the choices for him as rashid.
runner-ups: milk by commodity (amber, firewood, tonka bean; ultimately the marshmallow accord felt a bittttt out of line for him but this scent is GOOD. a pinch sharp but in a way that's striking rather than obtrusive) female christ by 19-69 (eucalyptus, woody, with cashmere and cinnamon at the base notes, emerging the longer the scent is worn)
armand as rashid
this one has a lot going on but i NEED you to stay with me and hear me out. first of all-- there's notes of pineapple here, which i feel are soooo good given the 'honey and pineapple' exchange. there's also a lot of sweetness here and while the 'honey' part isn't explicit, i feel like it's still reminiscent of it. also, who's to say rashidmand doesn't wear honey body oil with this? wouldn't put that past him. otherwise, this is also pretty floral, fresh, and long-lasting. my one flaw is it is intense, especially for his playing as rashid. my defense here is this: he's already gone with the slutty shirts and the speaking out of turn, so a memorable scent doesn't seem suddenly too far, at least not to me. also, the bottom notes like the vanilla stabilize the intensity. for the first hour or two after application, i'm sure this lingers in a room (which is what he'd want) but as it fades, you'd have to be in closer proximity to notice it.
runner-ups: honey & crocus by jo malone london (this is the honeyed scent that could replace the pineapple one, with traces of saffron and lavender included too which go nicely) fleur de délice by reminiscence (VERY herbal and fresh)
daniel molloy (1973)
ok i am pretty sure i'm not the first to say this but he's SO jazz club. to me. this on top of probably perpetually smelling like cigarettes. and i've heard it's more masculine-leaning, with the rum, spice, and tobacco staying on the longest. i think in devil's minion canon armand would also be all over this like a bloodhound. not much else to say aside from boozy and kinda sexy. the kind of thing you'd wear to go out and score drugs or a fatal vampire encounter.
runner-ups: none! i stand by this one. possibly book by commodity, which uses cedar and sandalwood to come shockingly close to putting your nose in a book. also accomplishes a sort of smokiness.
daniel molloy
this is kind of like if jazz club matured a bit. from what i read (i haven't smelled this one) it's very leathery and dry with a slight sweetness at the end. it has some pine and dates in the list of accords, which works for me too. it is also a bit sensual and i think daniel would wear this in dubai to see louis for the first time since '73. not too intense, which i think he'd prefer. @operahouses suggested a new car smell and i STRONGLY agree.
runner-ups: ombré leather (2018) by tom ford (this went too herbal for me to attribute to him, but i still think leather is good for him)
claudia in new orleans
getting into headcanon territory. this scent is sweet, light, and rosy. i'm imagining this is a gift from lestat before things soured. also something to wear before she branched out and developed her own preferences. i personally think this one is a bit strong and just a tad like a bath, but then again it's very clean and satisfying when the initial scent sits for a little. the sugarcane there brings it together too. this would also contribute to the infantilization both louis and lestat force upon her, the shared--whether explicit or implicit- idea that she's theirs, only the 'girl' part of daughter and too young and naive to be the 'woman.' i feel like she'd grow to hate this smell eventually the same way she grew to resent what lestat and new orleans meant for her.
runner-ups: rose of no man's land by byredo (i didn't think the spices fit, but could be that's a stepping stone for her)
claudia (paris)
i haven't tried this scent but i do love curatrix. so i think in a similar way to daniel's progression this is an older, sultry, woody-sweet rendition of what a younger claudia would enjoy. knowing curatrix, it's probably a bit intense, but for a woman duelling with the reality she will not ever be properly seen as a woman, i think it's very fitting! the cloves and tobacco lend age to it while the honey and vanilla sweeten it up a bit, dries down into a suggestion of ginger. i think the name would attract her as well. claudia owns being a vampire-- she loves it, wants so badly to be loved by the coven for loving vampirism, so the idea of fatale is definitely something she would gravitate to in my mind.
runner-ups: hypnotic poison by dior (similar wood themes with a bit of floral and fruitiness mixed in, but mostly, the bottle is cute) carmilla by immortal perfumes (the name, naturally-- also has a blood accord!! was my first choice until i remembered fatale exists)
madeline
gets a classic. i wore this for years before i started to present less feminine. it's clean, floral, sweet, a bit powdery, and stays on forever. not too overwhelming but def alluring. one of thee ultimate femme lesbian choices to me!
runner-ups: immortelle by chloé (still white floral with some tonka snuck in. i like the name for her a lot!)
santiago
i really have nothing to say other than this scent doesn't get very good reviews and it kind of pisses me off and that's perfect for him. def wears way too much of this and it pisses off everyone in the coven. the HEIGHT of gay man who is about to infuriate you.
okay i had a lot of fun doing this. so if anybody else matched my freak ab this i would LOVE to do more.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis du pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#armand#the vampire armand#daniel molloy#loumand#devils minion#amc iwtv#armandaniel#loustat#lesmand#armandstat#claudeline#madeline eparvier#santiago#theatre des vampires#devil's minion
69 notes
·
View notes
Note
[Chuuya shrugged] Yeah, pretty much, that's the difference. I have shit like that if you ever wanna borrow it, even just for plain old fishing and hunting shit- [he pauses] You... there are YouTube videos for shit like that I think. Just ask one of your agency friends actually? You should know how to use the oven. Personally, I prefer to eat my shit raw anyways, so the oven wouldn't really be needed for cannibalism shit.
[He stares. Disappointed aura.] Fucking hell kid. I can pay for a funeral for you if your worried, though i sincerely doubt your fuckin' agency friends wouldn't be happy giving you a huge funeral. Think of something you actually want for it- especially considering how fuckin insane Yokohama shit is.
Anyways- the fuckin' vegetarian shit you just said there about the people giving so much of a shit about their bodies after their dead? It sounds like the internet, pushy version of vegetarianism and shit for why people shouldn't eat animals. It's me saying it's bullishit.
Ehhh, hey, you're that fuckin' were tiger right?? Any idea what those fuckin' rumors about you eating people are about?
> [ @chuuya-eatin-ppl ]
[They give a deep and tired sigh] you too? Didn't I just- [Atsushi holds up seven fingers and starts lowering them one at a time] maneating tiger was just because people were scared. no I did not eat my parent, no they did not eat me, I did not eat myself, I did not eat shibusawa, and I did not eat the headmaster. I ate chickens.
#<- king shit actually#<- fr fr fr#<- smart smart i do think though that atsushi personally would be easier to convince to eat the shit raw#bc i think some part of byakko would actually want that#<- true!!!!!!! chuuya is kinda just like scouting for fellow cannibals/possible cannibals rn so hes trying to go in basic#also over the course of this convo hes steadily caring less and less about actually hiding any cannibal hints- tho hed (Probaby) deny it#if asked outright lmao#like atsushi absolutely could be swayed#<- YESSS#chuuya noticed earlier lmao its why hes puttong so much effort into this sales pitch#and i do think shed like it but theyd also have multiple breakdowns over it after#<- ough ue#silly part of this blog keeping Chuuya from that unless i feel particularly angsty lmao ;33#also i enjoy making atsushi a bit of a dumbass#<- its amazing i love them#theyre a foodie but they do not have the money for good food and they feel guilty about it when they do#<- aoughfhsbs poor atushi :<<<<<#hopefully chuuya can teach him the ways of cannibalism!!! your food is always everywhere and it only takes a bit of effort ;3
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
not sure why but when u said "paper" and "crumbled up" i instantly thought of the fanlight covers project... like a feeling of the boys being worried about the project failing due to security or something?
also speaking of female energy, there's this lady who's in charge of smrookies and said to have played a part in the debut of rii7e (she mentioned "my choice is always right" in one of her posts too). she recently followed seunghan's official ig, which feels like he's back under her wing(?). this somewhat tracks with the female energy we've been speaking of in a lot of the older readings. not mentioning her name, but those who watched the dear alice show will know who i'm speaking of.
I saved this until after MAMA bc i agreed and wanted to see is Anon was psychic and
Anon is so psychic fr wow bestie wow
YOU CALLED IT HERES THE PROOF
This Anon rn:
Also this anon rn bc its sad that it came true:
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
finding the harry and otto to my peter will actually solve all my problems
#ultimate spider man#harry osborn#otto octavius#peter parker#i feel like theyre too good to be true#one or more of these guys are gonna end up being evil#or die#but rn im living for their friendship#theyre literally THE trio#also that sandwich looks really good#has anyone notices that peter always eats the most delicious looking sandwiches#where does he even get them from#are sandwich shops really that good in nyc#that might possibly be the only good thing about nyc if its true
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi my beloveds <3 i just wanted to say, i feel so bad lately for not being a better friend and mutual, and i'm so incredibly sorry for that :( i haven't been in a great place mentally these past few months, and i feel so guilty for the fact that i struggle to be active and positive on here. i've been really horrible about keeping up with people and messages and fics etc, and even though i know this is just a hobby and just for fun, i do consider many of you my friends <3 i care about you all so very much and i feel so selfish for being so neglectful of everyone. it's just been very hard for me to balance things in my personal life and on here, and i am truly truly sorry i can't be better about it. i love you always, and i hope everyone knows that <3
#i posted something along these lines on my personal but#i know not everyone saw it or doesn't follow that blog so#i just wanted to say something again#bc even though i know this isn't true i've just been feeling a lot like everyone hates me :( or that i don't care about them#when that could not be farther from the truth#i'm planning on archiving or going inactive at the end of the month if i'm not feeling better by then bc#i just feel like i'm very much stuck in a bad cycle rn and i can't keep doing it to myself anymore.#until then i'll pop on and off here as i have been.#but please know i'm thankful for each and every one of you <3#i'm always thinking of you and wishing the best for you
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
will they ever make a How Its Made episode on fursuits
#the grips of creativeprojects have their hold on me and im seriously debating whether i can pull it off#i wanna... i wanna make a cardboard magikarp costume for halloween..... i think i remember someone did smth similar#they made a ghastly costume and wore fishnets. sexy ghastly.. maybe its bc im fond of yuru kyara costume designs#i think i have the right equipment but ive never done smth like making a mask other than using a cardboard box.. so the sculpting#feels a little daunting#in the throes of fursona design hell rn so i should probably do that first. its probably a tiny dog with a 'true form' which is a really#big dog. like kerberos from ccs yk?? i always imagine myself as this tiny little thing but i always liked the idea of something bigger#hiding inside like a cicada skin. like some sort of angel in disguise.... except its this big terrifying creature (affectionate)#im also designing my brothers quackuza stickers rn though im so behind ive been working on this thing for months#yapping
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
also I guess this is just an observation
but what is it with some pixel art games being so low contrast... I was finally going to give in and try out a farming sim lots of ppl enjoy despite the portrait art being not entirely to my tastes and then the pixels and environment are sooooo low contrast it made me change my mind again....like you do not have to be scared of dark colors and borders. Outlines. Smile.
#it reminds me of how i can never use any stardew furniture/clothing/hair mods bc theyre always so low contrast#to match the equally low contrast pastel environment recolors that the modders assume youre also using#FoM is full of pastel furniture (for example) and they werent scared to add um Outlines and Borders. thank god.#but this is my point again like this wouldnt be an issue if we had moreeee of these games#well wait not true#i keep saying that bc more of them = theres gotta be some among them that turn out good#but everyone says the genre is oversaturated rn and it is true and we only have like 2 good games in the past 10 yrs lmfao#nvm. my ''we just need more of these games so it doesnt matter if some are bad if we have many good ones'' argument doesnt work#bc like where are the good ones....#ok evilposting over. i love pixel art game i prefer it to Non pixel where the art style can#be very polarizing i feel pixel has a more universal potential....but im still very picky with pixel art style.#talkys#i guess this rant was more abt farming games.....i just want more escapism games for cheye PLEASE
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
can never really stop thinking about the core difference between zoro's sacrifice at thriller bark vs the other major crew sacrifices (robin and sanji) but i can never really articulate it either like. idk. despite all three coming from a place of 'you mean so much to me that im willing to die in exchange for your safety', robin and sanji are both clearly acting under the influence of decades of self-worth issues and being told the world would be better off without them in it, and wanting to be useful in their final act, whereas zoro is...something else entirely.
it's in the way zoro's is an act of defiance right until the end, vs robin and sanji's capitulation. and thats not to say that their sacrifices were lesser or that they just 'gave up' or whatever. robin and sanji were both in awful situations where they were undoubtedly boxed in and had to make snap decisions, but there is something to be said for how they both feel like they have no choice but to shoulder the burden alone and in silence, without giving the crew even a chance to have a say. conversely, zoro makes the offer to kuma when every other avenue has been exhausted and the crew is totally out of commission (though they all made it explicitly clear theyd rather die themselves than hand over luffy).
there's something about luffy (and the crew)'s life being as important to zoro as his ambition, vs luffy (and the crew) being more important than robin/sanji's own lives. as in, the most important thing in zoros life has always been his goal, and he raises the crew to that same level (and luffy even higher) of value, which speaks volumes given his character, as opposed to the others who have never really learnt how to value themselves, thinking of themselves as the outsider that can be easily cast off for the greater good. like...bringing someone up to stand where you are vs pushing someone up above yourself yknow...
#i think i was going somewhere w these thoughts but well. i wasnt<3#idk i feel like i still cant fully get into the zoro of it all#its so easy to understand the other two but i always feel like im just missing a big obvious piece of zoro in this ykwim#i think it does hinge on value though like you can see it in the way zoro and sanji speak to kuma in that scene i just cant. articulate it#though there is also smth to be said about how much of the world theyve all seen#zoros world is just smaller than robin or sanjis who have suffered immensely in ways that highlight how little individuals can do#like they have a better understanding of how those things work from having been through the exact same thing before right#vs zoro who is just like. idk a guy who never learnt what fear is kind of. he was just never taught fear or self-hate and it shows#which im not being disparaging when i say zoros world is smaller its just true in this context his interactions w the world overall are les#anyway this spiralled out into smth much less about thriller bark. im writing abt robin and sanji in a fic rn and they make me crazy#and then its like. yeah idk zoro is also there. knowing he doesnt get it#roronoa zoro
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Context: im thinking abt my post canon au, i explained on my ao3, u dont even have to read it just know its there)
Mizu revealing her being a woman to taigen AFTER he confesses his feelings to mizu AFTER being bested during their duel once again is literally so fucking personal to me. Jesus fuck... FUCK. Like. How overwhelmingly loved she must feel. How SEEN. Truly for once n not just but loved and wanted!!! Its so personal to me. Just. Taigen, losing, n then immediately leaning in for a kiss. Mizu is lost cuz what?? Why?? N taigen just. Confesses, but hes holding back cuz mizus reaction was not great and he doesn't wanna ruin the friendship they've formed these past months, they've grown so close so fast n its scary but so exciting n so right but if mizu doesnt want this then nothing is happening n its ok he has a CHOICE. Like. FUCK!! N then mizu telling taigen to wait and that night she reveals it. And its just sooo fucking intimate. Its so soft. And maybe taigen is confused but one look at how small mizu is making herself, like shielding herself from him. Like he gets it. The danger of it all. And its his promise to protect her if she ever needs to that does her in cuz. SHE HAS A CHOICE. TO BE PROTECTED OR NOT. THATS SO IMPORTANT TO HER. Yes, she can protect herself. Yes, it feels good to be protected. Yknow??
Mizu revealing her being a woman to akemi totally by accident AFTER they just had an argument abt women's choices in society AFTER mizu accidentally took one (1) big sip of sake, n then deciding fuck it im gonna win this argument, guess what akemi. And that's how akemi finds out. N Mizu thinks akemi is going to hate her, n she does for a bit in silence, but mostly shes just hurt? For herself AND for Mizu. Cause she understands, so suddenly, so intimately, how hard being a woman is and how mizu has had to hide as a man to survive (not even for plot reasons that we know, mizu being mixed AND a woman? Death sentence). And she just hurts. And they thought they'd always have this weird rift between them but they cry and they let it out (for Mizu, for the first time in YEARS) and its just. Its so emotional n so important and so personal and intimate. Its maybe winter all over again, a year has passed since theyd seen each other in kyoto, so much has changed and yet not rly and. They've grown but in different ways. Akemi, in taking life by the reins n being assertive and strong and so dangerously intelligent like shes always been but now, now its crucial to be that. And Mizu in realizing that she truly, truly wants to be loved so badly but to be loved is to be vulnerable and thats what scares her the most, to be weak; but ure only strong if u can be weak too, and thats what she learns. And i think this is where they really get deep into their feelings. Before it was a crush, an annoying one. Now? Oh bby theyre down bad. Yes they are.
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#akemi blue eye samurai#taigen blue eye samurai#akemi x mizu#taigen x mizu#hey look i posted a thing#come get yall headcanons#love how once they become actual friends i feel like mizu n taigen would fall for each other so fast itd scare then#but akemi n mizu have more of a slowburn cuz they're both denying the possibility of being with the other person so its just daydreaming now#n then akemi n taigen actually just stay friends cuz i think its hilarious#they can unlock their true potential as chaotic besties now#ringo is just living his life btw. hes kinda lost rn my poor darling#itohs just like “i love my wife. wait is she fucking the onryo” proceeds to be confused and lost n “confronting” her with teary eyes#(he saw them smile at each other)#akemi just inviting him to the polycule like “can u be cool abt a lot of things real quick”#and it takes time to process but he eventually is just like. this. kind of rules. dont tell my mom i said that tho#always scared his mom is gonna find out abt thier shenanigans as if she isnt the mother of the shogun now shes got shit to do#(being the second choice always oof. oof oof. best bet im playing with thattt)
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
mahmood allergic to not crafting songs that don’t sound like the epitome of ethereal and pluck at the strings of your soul.
#he’s a true artist.#his voice is actually heavenly like i always feel like i’m floating when i listen#listening to NLDA rn#it’s always like waves washing over me#and now we have nel tuo mare.#mahmood#personal
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly, having good days like this is good for me mentally. Because not only does it put my usual struggles into perspective, forcing me to accept that I have a tendency to severely downplay just how much they impede me... but it also gives me perspective about my self perceived laziness.
Like, the fact that I become almost abnormally productive and energetic compared even to abled people the very instant that my pain and all of the other issues are all gone? I'm not lazy! And I know logically that teachers telling me that over and over growing up was wrong, but it still shocks me in new ways to this day just how deeply ingrained this perception of myself is.
Like, is it laziness? Or am I just averse to doing things that will physically punish me? Today reminded me that it's very much the latter.
#and its not even an overcompensation thing#i am genuinely ambitious and energetic by nature! in fact i think thats part of why i still manage to do some things#im also optimistic at heart because im always excited to try new things and dont really fear failure or being bad at it#i guess persistent is another fitting word#ALL THAT TO SAY today is most likely what i would be like all the time if i wasnt ill!#and so i once more ask myself: in what world could 'lazy' ever be remotely true#its strange how vindicated i feel rn but its so like#idk ive been so down this whole year but recently theres been a major turnaround mentally#i cant explain it but i feel like theres a new level of self acceptance after today#that its not all in my head and that im not making a bigger deal out of my issues than is valid#because if i were anywhere near healthy i would live like today EVERY day without even thinking about it#silvi talks
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
🙂↕️🙂↕️okay okay okay so so far within the og divisions we have:
❤️: they strive for a world where words solve conflict. they pointedly did not use mics to express this. at the end of the track, they’re dynamic as brothers has shifted to a more equal dynamic, where ichiro doesn’t feel so compelled to raise them
💙: they strive for a world without violence and used their mics to resolve the conflict. at the end of the track, they reject their status quo and aim to find a new one to change the world without the use of violence
💛: wanted to be real with each other and used their mics to get that across. at the end of the track tho, they say that truth doesn’t really matter anyway and stay true to the selves they formed their bond with
🩶: a battle of wills using the mics. jakurai’s love for yotsutsuji manifested in the form of sacrificing himself and dohifu trying to stop him using their love for their bond as mtr. at the end of the track it’s that love that’s saved jakurai, healed hifumi and elevated doppo’s status at work
and things have changed for all they’ve stayed the same so i’m genuinely curious where nagosaka fits in this lol
#vee queued to fill the void#as i’m typing this i haven’t really processed the scope of mtr’s story lmao#like it may be bc i’m still a matenhoe forever and always but holy shit their love literally changed their lives#and seeing those threads come to a head like that literally made me want to projectile vomit LOL CAN NEVER FEEL NORMAL ABOUT AN MTR DT EVER#i want to draw!!!!!! the scene where sensei as calm and as at peace as he’s ever been!!!!!!!!#tell dohifu they may think him using the true hypnosis mic to save yotsutsuji is stupidity but to him!!!!!!#it’s literally the most important thing!!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!! it’s the utter peace in his voice that literally kills me listening it!!!!!#doppo: with all due respect this boils down to your ego#sensei: my ego? well that certainly may be the case. it is i who will be saved by doing this#me: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHGG#*sniffs* god hypmic has been insane for these tracks on god pls tell me i’m not the only one who sees how insane hypmic rn#and like??????????? wtf can dh and bat deal with??????? i wish i was big brained to see where nagosaka has been going towards lol#dh has to be setting the tone tho since lowkey???? tdd are paralleling with their 1st drb match ups lol bbmtc want basically the same thing#and fpmtr reaffirmed their bonds and identities in theirs#and like ‘the trio’ makes me think rosasa are finally going to punch rei in the face for ditching them lol#but it might be time for dh to enter in the plot frfr trying to get rei from doing stuff on his own#so does bat parallel that??? trying to stop kuukou from doing things on his own???? something else?????#bc hitoya is deadass the only who has interacted with the plot in any way lmao (kuukou too as a victim of the true hypnosis mic)#this is me processing things out loud gomen thanks for attending the ted tag vomit lmao
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
always found this little parallel between how scott speaks about buddy cole vs danny husk fascinating:
(top quote is from this 2017 vulture interview, bottom quote is from paul myers' 2018 book "one dumb guy")
'he's smarter than me. braver than me. he's better than me'' vs ''danny may not be the smartest or the bravest but he's a very decent man''
#on its own this is a cool (probably unintentional) echo of how scott talks about two of his biggest characters#but of course being the buddy-cole-documentary person and the only person who's mentioned scott's ptsdiva podcast to him upon first meeting#(true fact he hadn't heard anyone mention that podcast since it finished releasing and that was a big part of my first impression)#i'm so excited to hopefully dig into the deeper implications of this#bc throughout scott's career he's used buddy as a way to process his thoughts on a variety of topics and to speak his mind#BUT. after he recovered from his cancer. he didn't immediately launch another buddy cole side project like he did so many times#(and i mean MANY times that's why i have a whole goddamn timeline for buddy cole side projects)#no. after he recovered from cancer he wrote the *danny husk* graphic novel#and there's also an interview from around that time (i can't find it rn but i know i have it bookmarked) where he low key blames buddy cole#for how he's always been typecast as the gay-best-friend. which while buddy cole is proudly a stereotype#he's still the exact opposite of that trope bc he has agency. and that's why scott made so many buddy cole side projects#while he was paying the bills with gay-best-friend roles in the late 90s#so what was it in this case that made him go ''actually i don't want to write from the perspective of someone who's better than me''#and embrace a bit of danny husk energy?#i haven't read his danny husk graphic novel yet but i do have some theories#but idk actively theorizing on here (especially as someone who is friends with scott) feels a bit too far so i'm gonna leave it at this#a cool parallel. an interesting timeline pattern. an indication of one of the questions from my next interview#i would say ''i wonder if anyone else has noticed this'' but come on jess you're the only one who would have seen both these things
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Havent posted in a while bc all ive been doing is college work BUT heres some of my favorite backgrounds for my animated thesis film :]]
#neeks draws#cosmic chaos#saeth#its so easy to forget i used to dream about my life rn#bc yk im gonna make an animated film ON MY OWN#well im already making it#slow process and really tiring work#59 background drawings#59#in like idk 4 weeks#some of my batchmates reached 100+ so im rly one of the lucky ones here but still…#its a bit silly to always feel like i dont draw anymore when its all ive had to do in the last 2 weeks bc of art college#that thing about the pursuit of knowledge being endless is true bc i used to think This Level is where i can peacefully stop#but Nope#still much to learn#i just finished the midterms thesis crunch and now im looking at all the work i did and despite the grueling process its like#wow#im proud of this#making it thru midterms + birthday in 3 days is a weird emotional cocktail lol
9 notes
·
View notes