#(things cannot be reversed. we learn from the times we are cursed) (aesthetics)

[narcxssamalfoy]

tag drop. 

[rosmerta-bahadir]

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[theda-rison]

Camp Nano July 2020 - Results, Discussion, and Conclusion

the Like, wow, Scoob! 

Camp Nano July 2020 is done, and here are some thoughts:

I always knew that writing a comic script was going to be a learning experience - I’ve never written a comic script so it really couldn’t be anything except for a learning experience - but hoooooo boy, was it ever!

Before starting I couldn’t find anything on how long comic scripts normally are; I don’t know why, that just seems information that isn’t really shared? (If anyone knows of a resource, please send it to me!) I’m guessing it has a lot to do with there just being less comic writers than there are say, book writers and movie writers. That’s probably what happens when your interests are niche in some way, it’s just harder to find anything about them.

FORTUNATELY, I have the fancy library-bound volumes of The Sandman, and there’s excerpts of the scripts in the back. Which like… thank you @neil-gaiman​, or whoever made that decision, because being able to look at an actual script and see how it’s formatted and what’s included has been the biggest help. Even the “How to Write a Comic Script!” videos I found on YouTube didn’t have example scripts which... I don’t know, I don’t get it. Please include examples, comic YouTubers. I am confusion.

Now is the time for a sexy graph, because we are the kind of people who keep Excel spreadsheets of word counts and make graphs for fun.

Anyway, let’s look at…

[Good. I was listening to As The World Falls Down by David Bowie over and over, and now this is stuck in my head again. I don’t know why I do these things to myself. Also, I love Peter Tork’s face during some of the “AAAHHHH���s lol]

I can’t remember if I stated this before or during Camp at any point, but my goal was 60k words. I dislike aspiring for un-round numbers like “1667″ every day. Any number I could possibly pick is arbitrary, but for some reason the classic Nanowrimo number of 1667 seems even more arbitrary. “2000″ is a much better number. And, I can generally write 2000 words in two hours before running out of steam, so it works out well. It also divides better.

Having said that, you might be thinking, “Theda, the end Actual number on your graph is a lot closer to 90k than it is 60k,” and you would be right, good eyes. Were I Brandon Sanderson and you were one of my students, I would toss you a gummi bear. As it is, you’re not my student and I have no gummi bears and I’m not even Brandon Sanderson… so life is just upsetting I guess.

[But I am back to listening to As The World Falls Down, so I suppose it all works out.]

Back to the graph: The Actual. Look at this wavy-fucking-scalloped-fucking progression. Look at it. I can’t tell if it makes me happy or angry or what, but I know it gives me some kind of feeling. I think I like it from a purely aesthetic point of view, but from the point of the view of the person who made it, it annoys me.

I had a couple of days where I - in my infinite stupidity - didn’t really elaborate on what was supposed to happen in some of the scenes in my scene list and so I spent my “Writing!” time (as it’s labeled in my planner) not writing, but looking at the page cursing myself for not having written any directions for me, a directionless person.

You may also notice that the Goal bars suddenly jump up on the 24th day,. That’s because - in my infinite wisdom - I redid my goals after reaching 60k. It just makes more sense to me to be like, “Well, I punched that goal in the face. Let’s try and go WAY overboard,” because I have the Too Much gene and as Henry Rollins says: “Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.” I wouldn’t say that’s a personal philosophy so much as a Thing I Am Compelled To Do Or I Will Die.

But that’s just me.

As for the trend line, I prefer it looking more steep because that’s way more gratifying, but that’s what I get for writing parts of my scene list like, “That’s okay, Future Me will take care of it!” Past Me, you are a dick and you need to stop doing these things. You are a bastard.

Now for the table! 

[I’m sorry if that’s very small.]

And this time I’m showing you the actual table I use to write down my words. Complicated? Yes. Sexy? Very yes. A little annoying? Also yes. Do we get a little worried that she works too hard and refuses to take a vacation? We do, but we also know that she does it because she loves her work, and we love and support her and bring her snacks throughout the workday to keep her going. What a great table.

First of all: Yes, my first writing block is at 4am. It’s because I have a day job and if I write from 4-6 I can use my brain right when it’s freshly slumbered instead of using it for nonsense at work all day and being unable to write and aggravated because my mental capacity is nil and I no longer know what words are. In an ideal world I would be able to write all day but, here we are.

You might notice there’s a lot of 0’s in the 4am block, especially in the fourth week, and that’s more so because - in my infinite infiniteness (infinity?) - I am secretly an ice giant (but like, smaller) and it’s summer and the northern hemisphere is Too Hot and I literally will not be able to sleep at night until about December. Until then, I am forced to understand what it’s like to be a jacket potato for half of the year so I can empathize with their starchy pain because this is, for whatever reason, Important.

It me. (Recipe)

Anyway,

My record day was 7519 on the 10th, which is just sexy and fun and cool and everything we want, and my lowest was a big fat 0 on the 16th.

I felt super motivated for reasons I don’t remember on the 10th. This is because I didn’t have my planner yet and was not keeping notes anywhere else at that time. (It’s an undated Daily Passion Planner, in case you’re also a slut for planners and wish to know ;) ). I think I was trying to do a 10k day just for funzies? Which, technically, at 2k words in 2 hours I should be able to do 10k in 5, but cell phones exist (and are too distracting), and until I shed my corporeal form I still have to do things like “make food and eat it,” and “get up to pee,” and “experience all the vagaries and horrors of human existence.” I’m hoping it clears up soon. 

The 16th was the day that Future Me took Past Me by the hand and said, “My good bitch, you need to stop doing that thing where you leave shit for me because you run out of motivation or executive function or whatever the fuck is happening where you decide you don’t want to do something anymore, seemingly at random. You deciding to leave school before the day even started because you were bored may have been cute when you were a kid - and also annoying for everyone around you, and just alarming that time they had to pry your hands off the door molding as you held on to it and screamed - but as an adult you are both the cause of and the person who has to deal with this bullshit, and you need to stop.”

On the 16th I went to the Shrine of the Self (sorry, I’ve been reading a lot of manga lately) and made an offering for forgiveness, and then hunkered down and added a TON of notes and partially written scenes to my scene list. You can see how much that helped; it’s almost like having direction is actually useful, lol.

BUT, despite all that direction and despite punching my goal in the face, breaking it’s glasses, and taking it’s lunch money, the script is not finished!

Here’s some math as of the 23rd:

There are 124 points in my outline On the 23rd, I had completed 44 of those points, at 363 pages or 59,601 words 124 / 44 = 2.81 Now we check: 44 * 2.81 = 123.6 (close enough) So as of the 23rd, the projection for completing the script was: 363 * 2.81 = 1,020 pages 59,601 * 2.81 = 157,479 words

Now, I don’t know what the fuck that means because I don’t really do numbers, but at the time of the 23rd it looked an awful lot like I wasn’t going to finish this Camp project. And uh… hey, that was correct.

So I’m going to be continuing Camp Nano July 2020, but also in August 2020, over about 20 more days (providing I hit my goal every day.)

So:

IF -> I need to get up to 158,000; 158,000 - 86,000 = 72,000 words need to be written. (I'm rounding the total up because I canNOT imagine this script being somehow smaller than that at this point, and I’m rounding my Camp total down because who cares about 72 words?) I divided 72,000 from a few numbers until I got a word goal I was okay with, that I think I can do, here’s that one: 72,000 / 20 days = 3,600 words a day (This would mean I can either do 2k in the morning and then 1600 later, or the reverse. You know, whatever way I feel spicy that day.) THEN -> I need to write 3,600 words a day for 20 days to (hopefully) finish this script before work picks up at the end of August.

And then I’ll chill from the end of August - October (except for maybe some short stories or essays. I have a lot of Thoughts and they need to be purged from my brain for my own good). And then I’ll use Nanowrimo Classic (November) to edit this fucker.

SO… that’s some stuff.

As I said at the beginning this endeavor was only ever going to be a learning experience. Having to write 158k words total doesn’t scare me, the longest thing I’ve written yet was something like 190k words. Trying to finish it before the end of August is the daunting part. Especially since being able to be creative right now just keeps making my brain puke out more ideas, and then there’s too many ideas and I’m just writing them all down and hopefully I can get to them later.

Anyway, good job on Camp Nano July 2020 everyone! We did it!

And if you didn’t do it: don’t worry, you’ll do it next time :D

[mi-nyu-dreams]

Me and Mon Babies?!

Prologue:

Mysterious box and note

It was a cool and clear day today and the air was feeling fresh and clean. You had just returned home from school and was at the happiest you could be. Today was the last day of school for the semester! It was now winter break and you planned to use it to your greatest advantage by doing whatever you wanted! You were free and ready to divulge yourself in “me-time”.

 You were rummaging through your shelves of books filled with fantasy stories and magical spells. You were a huge fan of these kinds of things because you lived right in such world. Vampires, werewolves, witches, wizards, everything, existed in this world however… you were just a mere human. Sadly. But, you loved learning about the magical world. You had a few friends that were witches and whatnot. So, you often asked them questions and kept an eye out them. Today, you were curious about spells and magical casters. You looked through the shelves to find the books about the subject. After a few minutes, you found one.

 Incantations, arias, and more!

 The book’s title read. You smiled at the book and caressed the front cover. “Let’s see what kind of spells I can learn from these! Although…” You smiled sheepishly and sighed. “I can’t do them… but hey? It’s fun to learn.” You quickly take the book and a tray of snacks and drinks with you to your living room and sit comfortably on the sofa. You play some soothing music and then began reading throughout the book in joy.

 The book was filled with detailed explanations and directions on how each spell and aria is used and how they are used. You read them in delight and tried hard to memorize them. After about an hour, you were already almost done with the book and your snacks were almost done. Then, you fell upon a certain chapter about curses and deformation incantations, causing you to read further.

 “Cursed spells by witches… shape shifting… backward aging…?” You read aloud as you placed your finger on the page and slide it across, underlining the words, and reading the sentences carefully. “Many curses are nonreversible or have hidden reverses that only the caster knows… aging, death, etc… blah blah…” You began to read further and further, completely forgetting about everything else and constantly turning pages. It wasn’t until you hit a certain sentence in the book that made you pause for a bit. “Many curses do not have cures that are publicly known because the caster either has not discovered a cure or is keeping it a secret…” You read aloud and finally raised your head up from the book.

 “That would be scary to be put under a spell with no known cure…” You say as you thought over the many possible situations. You then looked over at the clock and gasped. It read 5:50 p.m. You were reading for almost three hours. Slowly, you close the book and sigh. “I guess I should stop now…” You sit up from the sofa and place the book down. You then take the tray of food and finish up the remaining snacks. As you munched on the food, you pondered over the information you read and hum. “I wonder if Alice knows any kind of curses like that?” You ask yourself about your friend and look back at the book. “I hope I don’t ever get put under a curse.” You say as you pick up the tray and head to the kitchen to clean up.

 It was quiet at home and the only thing you could hear was the heater humming and your music quietly playing from the living room. You were washing the dishes as you hummed to the music. You then looked up and through the kitchen window in front of you. You were mesmerized by the lovely aesthetic scenery. It was winter, and the land was almost dead, but the serenity of the lifelessness of nature was beauty in its own way. You smiled and continued to wash the dishes, when suddenly you hear your doorbell ring. You immediately look up and over at the door in curiosity. “I wonder who that is?” You ask as you turned off the water, dried your hands with the towel hanging on the fridge handles, and then proceeded to walk toward the door.

 The door rings again and you hustle to the door. “I’m coming!” You yell out as you unlock the door and swing it open. The second you open it you are met with a humongous box right in your face. “What the?—” Your eyes widen in shock and you step back. It was a huge brown box the size of a golf cart and on the smack-dab front was a note taped to the box. You stared at the box for a few minutes and then observed your surroundings. There was no one around, oddly. You check behind the box, around your house, into the streets, no one. You then look back at the box and stare. “How the heck did this thing get here?” You huff as you touch the box and return back to the front of it. You then take the note off the box and read it.

 Dear, Y/N

Hello. My name is Kaito. I am a wizard who is close to your friend Alice. Alice has told me a lot about you and I am impressed by the amount of praise she gives to you even though you are just a mere human. The reason I have written this letter is because I am in a dire need of your assistance. Inside this box… is something that was presented to me suddenly. It wasn’t my fault and I have no idea who did this, but I cannot keep them with me. I need to find a cure and fast. Alice has told me you have lots of knowledge of magic and with your knowledge and mine, we can help them. Please, just take care of them and record their behavior for me. Also, a little help with research on the problem would be great. I will meet you within a week to see if I can do anything by then, but please take care of them. I am sorry.

Sincerely, Kaito

 You stared at the note, absolutely flabbergasted and confused. You were asked to help this random wizard who knew Alice? You looked at the box suspiciously and walked closer cautiously. You eyed it and scoffed. “What in the world is in this huge box that he needs me to help him with?” You leaned in closer and gently poked the box. “He said they… ‘they’?” You questioned as you knocked on the box.

 *rumble*

 You immediately back away and throw out hands ready to fight. “W-What w-was that?!!” You gasped as you stood there in high alert defense. “I don’t know what the heck is in there, but I don’t want to be involved in anything illegal!” You exclaimed. Sure, you loved the magical world, but there were things you as a human should not mess with and stay clear away. You had no idea if this was one of them. Just as you were about to go back inside and call the Alice for reassurance, the box rustles again and begins to shake crazily. You were gonna dash back into the house and hide until you heard a voice.

 “YAH! I wanna go out!!! It’s too hot!!”

It was the voice of a child and you stared at it even more confused. “What in the hell?!” You slowly re-approach the box and just as you were about to touch it again, the box moves and immediately falls over. Within seconds the box falls flat on its side and out rolled out seven little boys.

 “Wahhh!!!!” All seven come rolling out of the box and pile on the floor with loud thuds. You stared as the seven tried to hurry themselves back up and balance themselves. As you watched you can’t help but feel soft for the little cuties. But you were still heavily confused. “W-Who…?” You stuttered out as you watched them huddle together and sit on the floor. Once they were all seated, they all stared up at you with curious and confused eyes. “C-Cute…” You muttered as you looked at them.

 They were so freaking adorable, but who were they? And why did this Kaito guy want you to help them? You pondered until one of them spoke.

 “Is lady gonna help us?” It was the one with light strawberry shaded hair. His eyes were large like of a puppy and his face was round and cute like a puppy. You bent down to their level and looked at them with gentle eyes. “Um… may I ask who you guys are and why you guys were in the box?” You stared at each one of them and wondered. They looked oddly familiar… but you couldn’t pin point why. The boys didn’t say anything for a while, until the one who seemed like the eldest spoke up.

 “We are cursed…” He says bluntly. Your eyes widen in absolute shock. “Cursed?!” You repeat, trying to process the words. Another little boy with soft brown hair nods and points at the other six little boys. “We Monda eth…” He speaks innocently. You tilt your head. “Monda… eth?” You think for a few seconds and look at him confused, “I’m sorry… but I—”

 “I can be your hero~” One of them suddenly started to sing. And at that second your mouth gapped open widely in absolute disbelief and your brain exploded. “MONSTA X?” You gasp loudly and fall back on your bum. “M-Monsta X?! Like… MONSTA X?!” You say almost yelling. One of them nods and smiles, another stares at you quietly and nods. One with peach blonde hair smiles, revealing his dimple. “Hi.” He cutely greets.

 You stare in disbelief. What in the heck is this?!

[slanachadh]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 .   chipped nail polish.  glitter highlight.  tall trees with smooth bark. tangled hair.  the taste of cinnamon sugar. talking too loud and too fast.  overgrown flowers in your hair. crumbling buildings reclaimed by nature.  flirting. walking home at three am with no coat. platonic hand holding.  blowing smoke out of your nose. dragonfly wings.  chaotic good. freckles.  fairy rings. secret meetings.  gender nonconformity. leather. smudged eyeliner. forbidden fruit.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 . computer errors. a shiver down your spine. haunting beauty.  hard liquor. crowns of thorns.  shadowed alleyways.  decaying plant matter. shattered mirrors and broken glass. corrupted memories.  stopped clocks. the scent of stale cigarettes.  tattered black hoodies. walking your friends home.  the crescent moon. the sea. a graveyard on a foggy day.  cold rings on cold fingers.  absolution. looking out of the window of an airplane.  soft kisses.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡.   graffiti.  pretending to know what you’re doing.  worn paperback books. growing up too fast. parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. lace and combat boots.  moth wings.  candles on every surface. a weathered deck of cards. turning the music up. fireflies in jars.  calloused fingers.  drawing on your skin.  sunlight filtering through clouds. petrichor. a dying rose in a jar.  wearing a crystal pendant.  illusions of spells.  black cats.  mint gum.  chapped lips.  dirt under your fingernails.  the cycle of life and death.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟.   murders of crows. frostbitten leaves. wolves howling at midnight. knocking on your door.  leaving food out for stray animals. the twang of an acoustic guitar.  honey. tiny red buds on trees.  claw marks on the walls. golden eyes. slightly too long stubble.  knitted fingerless gloves.  sleeping on the forest floor. always find your way back home.

tagged by: stole it from my other blog

tagging: whoever wants to

[slanachadh]

tag drop

[slanachadh]

seasonal aesthetics. repost, don’t reblog !!

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑.     a chill right down to the bones .   tobogganing .   teeth chattering .   sleeping all day .   sitting by the fireplace .   spending time with family (found family) .   layered clothing .   seeing another’s breath .  loving the cold .   a state of inactivity .   cold hands .   blistering winds shaking the closed windows .   a bookcase full of brand new books and all of the time in the world to read them .   cable knit socks .   a bitter remark .   a log cabin in the middle of nowhere .   hating the cold .  full length windows to peer out of .   pale skin .  deep conversations .   watching the snow fall .   sharp  edges .   hot cocoa .   smelling every candle in the store .   a wild snow storm .  melancholy .   lighting candles around the bathtub .   snow globes .   expressing yourself but never finding quite the right words .   the softest of blankets .  liking, but not loving something or someone .

𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.     the smell after it rains .   being in control of yourself .   a soft breeze blowing your hair . lightning when it strikes .   cherry blossoms .   bright mornings .   the first sign of hope . the relief of finding something you lost .  paris in the spring.  birds chirping .  the art of growing .  a kiss on the cheek .  the clap of thunder .  a tornado in the valley .  smiling at a stranger .  planning .  saccharine pinks .   making promises .   trying something new .   hugs when you need them most .   a bee sting .   sitting on the steps of the met .   coming inside drenched from the thunderstorm .  picnics on a red checkered blanket in the new sun .   that feeling you get when you put on a good dress .   a long hike .   rushing when you can take your time .   going to the gym/training at ungodly hours .  excitement for what’s coming . becoming yourself .   rain boots .

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑.    lanterns lit around a campfire .   seeing the sunrise like it’s the first time again and again .   melting ice cream .   the warmth of sun rays upon skin .  fireworks . the feeling of never wanting something to end .   beach days .   the lone blow up floaty left in the pool .   drifting with the warm nights breeze and nothing else .   music blasting at 3am .  loud and proud .   palms trees on sunset boulevard .   longer days and shorter nights . wanderlust .   nights spent staring at the stars .  sand castles .   road trips .  blood orange sunsets .   leaving the laundry to hang outside .   flowers in bloom .   sneaking out of your room late at night .   pure contentment .   barefoot in the sand . the street lights coming on .   the sound of the ocean in a seashell .   freshly squeezed lemonade .   loose clothing .   a cannonball into the pool .  sunflowers .   the hazy pink before dusk .  relaxation .

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋.   the leaves changing colors . a heavy backpack .   the smell of old books .   eating until you’re stuffed .   deep, dark woods .   the silence in loudness ( the loudness in silence ) .   abandoned houses .   ripped jeans .  crunching leaves beneath feet . feeling like you’ve been somewhere before .   sitting at a bay window .   having endless amount of work .   charcoal drawings .   screaming into a pillow as loud as you can .   pumpkin patches .   creaky floorboards accepting that some things do have to change .   museums .   small talk .   being ignored .   procrastinating .   a door slamming shut .   going to bed early .   baking pies .   the fear of walking alone in the dark .  feeling completely and terribly lost .   a twig snapping .   crisp, cool days .   belly laughter after crying .  converse .   foggy mornings at the shoreline .  writing a daily entry in a journal .  a lonely day .

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