#(there will be six works associated w this damn fic and that's just...)

[vermillioncrown]

velociraptor 2: electric boogaloo

can't believe tpac started this year. and it's already sprawling, spawning, insane

[kimburgess-ruzek]

Shattered

chapter one: purgatory

summary: Intelligence had been through the worst of the worst trying to get one of their own back alive. Each member has been to their own personal hell. Will everyone make it back, or will the cracks in Intelligence be big enough for the entire team to shatter?

a/n: about that s9 speculation, yeah i’m going to make a fic out of it. if you want to beat around the bush and read the plot of the fic, it’s here. definitely new to writing so we’ll see how this goes! also, don’t know how to work a tag list, but if you want to be tagged, let me know!

t/w: mentions of trauma, gunshot wounds, assault, surgical procedures (which btw i made up, i’m not a medical expert)

read on ao3.

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purgatory

“I think we should get married.”

six words. six of the most important words. Jay had the breath knocked out of him. He can’t understand what he was just asked. I think we should get married. Just a few months ago, Hailey wouldn’t even look into his eyes, much less say “I love you.” And a marriage proposal, that seemed pretty much impossible.

Jay looked into Hailey’s eyes. He saw past the tears and looked deeper. He saw sadness and fear, emotions not usually associated with an engagement. No, he saw something different. Hailey was different.

Jay cleared his throat, clearly stunned. “I—.” He tried to find words, find anything to respond. But he couldn’t. He cleared his throat and tried again to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Hailey noticed the hesitation and suddenly changed her demeanor. She tried to dry her tears as quickly as possible, wiping her eyes and running her hair through her hands. She then stopped Jay, interrupting whatever he was trying to express.

“You know what, never mind. Never mind. I— We need to go. We need to get to the hospital. See how Kim’s doing.”

Jay saw the sudden change and tried to reason with Hailey. He quickly found his words. “Wait, wait, wait. Hails. Is everything okay?” He asked while putting his hands on Hailey’s arms, stopping her from turning towards the door. He gently rubbed them, trying to soothe Hailey. However, it was to no avail; Hailey gently pushed herself away.

“No. No, we need to go. We need to see Kim. I need to see her. Let me go change and then we’ll leave, okay?” Hailey reassured Jay, nodding her head. Before Jay could respond, Hailey kissed Jay on the cheek and briskly walked to the room. She felt like she was suffocating in her clothes. She had worn them for almost two straight days, and she had been to hell and back in them. She needed to get out of them.

“Okay—“ Jay half yelled, wanting to make sure she heard him. He updated Will on his whereabouts and he let the rest of the team know he and Hailey were on their way to the hospital. Kevin replied that Kim was still in surgery. The doctor hasn’t given any updates but hopefully will soon. After about five minutes, Hailey walked out in a new pair of jeans and a different top. She quietly grabbed three granola bars, one for her to eat on the way and the others probably for Kevin and Trudy. Jay loved how thoughtful she was. She had her keys, purse, and jacket in hand and was heading for the door.

“Ready?”

“Yep.” Jay got up from the couch and followed Hailey out the door, turning off the lights on the way out.

The walk to the car and the drive to Med was really quiet. There was definitely tension in the vehicle; there wasn’t the comfortable silence that Jay and Hailey were used to. Hailey was focused on the road while Jay was focused on Hailey. She never looked back at Jay though, her eyes only on the road.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened—“ Jay started but Hailey quickly interrupted him.

“No.”

Jay took a breath and mumbled “okay.”

For the rest of the ride, you could’ve heard a pin drop in the car. No one talked and no one made any extra movement. Once Hailey found a parking spot in the parking garage, she turned the car off and took a long, hard breath, trying to gather her words. Jay was opening the door when Hailey grabbed his hand, stopping him.

“Look, Jay. I... Look I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be short with you.”

It’s okay,” Jay replied, trying to reassure her.

“No, it's more than that. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. At the apartment. I mean I love you, I do. I love you. And I think you’re decent. But not the other stuff. I just... It was just today. We almost lost our team member. We almost lost our friend, Jay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if we lost Kim. And I can’t think about it. If we did lose her. Because I don’t know if I could’ve forgiven myself. I don’t know if I could live with myself, thinking I could’ve done more. And at the apartment, I just saw someone that helped save my friend and I don’t want to lose you either, ever. And the emotions and no sleep and everything just got to me and I.. I. I don’t know. I don’t know. But.. Just don’t think about that question I asked earlier. Okay, Jay? Okay? It’s all good, I promise.”

Jay could clearly see Hailey was rambling. She was tired, no, she was exhausted, and she was backtracking. He was scared. He was scared that Hailey would retreat back to before, turned off from love. He hoped this experience didn’t make Hailey go back to being afraid of love. Of loving Jay. Because he loved Hailey. He loved everything about Hailey, from her seriousness when working a case to her humming along to the music she was playing in her earphones while pouring her coffee in the mornings. But there was also something else. Something that Jay couldn’t explain. Hailey was different, and not different because of what she explained. No, this was more than fear, more than desperation. This was a plea, almost a cry for help. And Jay didn’t know why. But he knew that something changed in her. Something happened when Voight split them up. And Jay knew he had to get to the bottom of it. Not for his sake, but for Hailey’s.

As much as Jay wanted to tell her he enjoyed the proposal, he knew she didn’t mean it. At least, he knew she didn’t want it for pure love. This wasn’t genuine. The love was, but the proposal wasn’t. This was a reaction to something. And as much as Jay would love to be engaged to Hailey Upton, he knew she wasn’t ready for it. And he knew she would regret it if the proposal went down like this. But he knew that he loved Hailey with all of his heart, and he was going to show that. As much as he wanted to say "yes," he was afraid of saying anything would just break her. So he went along with Hailey at the moment, and he decided he was going to try again later.

Jay put his free hand to Hailey’s cheek, wiping a stray tear. “Hailey, I love you. I love you so much. And that’s not going to change. Ever. I will do whatever you want to do and are comfortable doing. Now, let’s go check on Kim. Does that sound good?”

Hailey relaxed into Jay’s hand and closed her eyes. This was the first time she had relaxed in hours. After a pause, she nodded and left Jay’s hold. She opened the car door, and they walked towards the hospital entrance to hear the fate of their friend’s life. They walked into the unknown.

.

Med was covered in blues. Police of all ranks and districts filled the waiting room. It was so packed, Kim would be embarrassed. She wouldn’t want to be the center of attention. But she needed the love. She needed the support, and when one of their own has fallen, everyone’s going to be there to help pick them back up.

Hailey and Jay quickly spotted Kevin and Trudy in their blackout gear. Kevin had his bloody vest lying on the floor next to him. His bloody vest that was Kim’s blood from where he held her so tight, trying to stop any bleeding if it would do any good. Trudy was sitting in a chair and Kevin was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder and his phone to his ear. He wasn’t talking, but his phone was still to his ear.

Trudy wasn’t speaking either. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t find any reason to have small talk. Or deep talk. She just couldn’t find anything to say. All she could do was just think, and run her mind to the ground worrying about Kim.

Kim held a very special place in Trudy’s heart. She was different from any other officer that Trudy has had. Kim has this pluckiness to her. She had a different attitude when it came to policing. And as much as Trudy berated her in front of the 21st, as much as Trudy picked on Kim and made her work overtime and made her run the extra mile, she loved Kim. She loved that green rookie with big brown eyes that walked in on the first day with a smile and a donut. She loved the woman who stayed in the district despite her failed relationship. She loved the woman who kept fighting when she kept getting knocked down. Kim had to have the biggest heart Trudy had ever known a police officer to have. Whether that be because of all of the hardship she has dealt with in the police academy or the lack thereof while growing up Trudy didn’t know. And to be quite frank, she didn’t care. All she knew was that she wanted to protect that big heart of Kim’s. She had to because Kim was the reason why a city like Chicago has hope. Kim brought light to a city of darkness. She brought ambition to a city of despair. No matter what the case was, Kim put all of her knowledge and energy into that case. She not only did that, but she cared for the people in the case. Hell, she even cared for some of the suspects, damn it. That’s how big Kim’s heart was. That's how big Kim's heart is. And now, that big, gullible, genuine heart has to fight for its life. It had to put itself in a position to be saved and it has to endure hours upon hours of surgery. So no, Trudy could not find any words to say.

Hailey and Jay walked up to Kevin and Trudy and gave solemn grins. Trudy found the strength to stand up and hug both Hailey and Jay. She held onto Jay a little longer, whispering ever so quietly “Thank you.” Jay patted Trudy’s back as a welcome, trying not to cry from the images of Kim handcuffed in that Buick resurfacing. After what seemed like a century, Trudy let go and sat back down. Hailey hugged Kevin and she and Jay stood with them.

Hailey then dug into her bag and pulled out a portable phone charger and handed it to Kevin.

“I thought you might need this.”

“Thanks, Hailey. Ruz would appreciate it.” Kev kindly took the charger and plugged it into his phone. He was glad because his phone was surely dying but he wanted to give Adam all of the updates as that were coming in.

“How’s Makayla?” Jay asked, crossing his arms.

“Uh, she’s good. She’s good. Adam told her that Kim had to work late, so she’s good. She remembered Adam and wasn’t scared. She fell asleep on the couch but Adam moved her to her bedroom.” Kevin tried to find any facts to answer Jay's question. He replied before listening to Adam say something over the phone.

“Yeah, Hailey and Jay are here... No, no updates yet... Yeah, man... The docs said the surgery would be pretty long.” Kevin answered over the phone.

“I spoke to the Commander. Intelligence isn’t getting any new cases until Kim pulls through.” Trudy stated, looking up at Jay and Hailey who nodded. They both thought it was rather respectful of the commander.

Trudy turned her attention towards Hailey, asking, “Did you or Hank find anything about Roy?”

With that question, Kevin looked at Hailey too. He chimed in, “Yeah did you catch any leads? Do you know where Voight is? Trudy has tried calling, but it goes straight to voicemail.”

All eyes were on Hailey, who quickly became flustered and at a loss for words. Does she tell the truth? Hell no. Not right now at least. Not until she gets to the bottom of what Voight did with the body. What does she tell them? She hung her mouth open, not knowing what to say. Jay noticed Hailey’s nerves and tried to calm her by putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. This made Hailey refocus, and she mustered up an answer.

“I, uh. No. No. And I don’t know where Voight is.” Hailey could barely get her Sergeant’s name out of her mouth. She tried her best to sound casual and honest, and it must’ve worked. Either that or everyone was so exhausted and stressed that they didn’t press any further.

Will Halstead pushed his way through the waiting room and joined the team.

“Hey, no word yet. I just talked to one of the nurses. Just said they’re still in surgery.” Will said. He tried to press for news. Anything, but he was shot down. Hopefully, this was just because they were in a rush and not because they had bad news, which is what Will does but didn't want to believe was the situation now. When Jay told him of Kim's injuries, Will, as a doctor, was shocked she even had a pulse. Her injuries were severe and traumatic, and she spent almost 24 hours bleeding. But Will dare not say his thoughts to Intelligence. No. He didn't want to break any of their hope. And Kim was going to need all of the hope she could get if she was going to pull through.

The team just nodded and settled in. Not one of them was going to leave until they received news about their member. So they waited.

.

It was 8:03 am. The sun was peaking through the blinds covering the windows. It has been 10 hours. 10 long hours. Some of the police officers left for their shift. Most stayed, camping out in their chairs. Some slept on the floor. Some were called to a scene where they handled it and immediately came back to the hospital. Hailey, Jay, Kevin, and Trudy rotated between two seats, allowing each person to catch a little bit of sleep. But in reality, none of them could get more than a few minutes of rest before the memories of the previous 36 hours crept into their minds, jolting them alert and awake. But they all stayed in that waiting room. In purgatory. No matter how scared, how sad they were, they all remained brave. Trudy and Jay tried calling Voight a couple of times only to realize he wasn't coming. They passed it off to be overwhelming. They thought Hank couldn't fathom hearing any bad news about Kim in person. Either that or he was somewhere, swallowing down liquor like he did when Al passed. But they didn't leave. They couldn't leave. They just had to hope the Sergeant wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be doing. 

Kevin stayed on the phone until about 3 am before Adam told him he was going to try to sleep so he could take Makayla to school the next day. Adam woke up at 6 but got the same luck as the rest of his team. He didn’t really get much of actual rest. But he woke up, got ready, fixed breakfast, woke Makayla up, got her ready, drove her to school while singing her favorite songs, and was back on the phone with Kev and heading to Med before 7:45.

Will kept coming in and out of the waiting room. He would periodically try to get information but was shut down every time. Nevertheless, he kept trying. He kept pushing for Intelligence. For Kim.

Suddenly, a doctor scrubbed and dressed in surgical gear stepped foot into the waiting room and everyone immediately woke each other up and sprang to their feet. Kevin told Adam the surgeon was here and put his phone on speaker. The surgeon walked straight to Intelligence and the other officers turned towards the team, waiting for the news. No one moved. No one blinked. Everyone studied the surgeon, trying to pick up on any cues before he spoke. Everyone held their breath. Everyone waited for the update.

After a long breath, the surgeon started pouring words.

“Officer Kim Burgess experienced severe head trauma, assault, shoulder strain, and two shots to the abdominal region. It was clear she lost a lot of blood, and when we got into surgery, it was much worse. She had a dislocated right knee, so we set it in place. The through-and-through shot didn’t do any internal damage so we patched it right up. The other one that never exited was lodged two inches to the right of her left kidney. If it were to hit it, she would have experienced kidney failure and gone into shock shortly after getting hit. Luckily, that didn’t happen. We were able to extract the bullet with as minimal damage as could be done. She had some pieces of glass lodged in her arms and we were able to get them out. She experienced head trauma. We checked, and she was bleeding internally in the brain. Left untreated, it could have lead to developmental setbacks, blood clotting, or death. However, it must’ve started only a little before she arrived here. This was likely due to her staying calm under pressure and subconsciously keeping her head in the correct position. She lost a lot of blood and had a low BP. She lost a pulse after we tried to stop the bleeding, but she was resuscitated after the first try. We did everything we could, and we did a lot. She made it out of surgery. She’s critical, but she’s stable.”

With that, everyone let out the breath that they were holding and erupted with such emotion. Some celebrated, hugging and shaking hands with each other. Some clapped and yelled in happiness. Some stood there in awe, in shock, in disbelief. Hailey dropped her head in her hands and started sobbing. Kim’s alive. She’s alive. Jay let out an excited expression and high-fived Will before engulfing a shaky Hailey in a huge hug. Trudy just let out a loud, deep sigh of relief. She immediately pulled the surgeon in for a hug. She knew Kim would pull through. Kim’s a fighter. She was going to push through. Kevin had big tears in his eyes. He couldn’t believe it. As much as he tried to be optimistic, he saw Kim with his own two eyes. He saw her and could only imagine what kind of torturous hell she went through. He knew Kim was strong, but this. This situation looked bleak. And as much as he tried not to believe that he held on to Kim during her dying breaths, he just didn’t know if Kim could pull through. He didn’t know if anyone could have pulled through with those injuries. But she did. Kim’s alive. After Kevin caught his breath he put his phone to his ear and checked on Adam.

“You heard that, brother?”

All he heard back were deep breaths and sobs.

“She’s okay. She’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be okay.” Kev heard Adam whispering in between his cries. He didn’t hear a direct answer from Adam but he knew he heard the surgeon. Kev followed suit and replied, “She’s gonna be okay. She's gonna be okay, bro.”

The surgeon cleared his throat and the waiting room quieted down, listening to what else he had to say.

“They’re wrapping up on Officer Burgess now. She will have a brace on her knee to keep it in place. She’s cut and bruised, and she’ll likely have a concussion. We’re giving her blood and we’ll continue for the next few days along with antibiotics to treat any infections from the warehouse. She’s sedated. We’re going to try to ease her awake but she’s a fighter. So she’ll probably wake up by tonight. She’ll be transferred to a private ICU after she’s out of surgery. She’s been to hell and back, and she has a hell of a recovery to go, but she’s alive.”

The waiting room erupted again in relief and celebration. The surgeon hugged and shook hands with all of the officers, including Intelligence. He then left the room to allow the policemen to celebrate.

Intelligence just looked at each other. They didn’t jump up and down or screamed to the rooftops. No, they were too tired for that. But also it was a different kind of energy. 48 hours ago, they were at each other’s throats. Each one of them had a different idea on how to solve this case. On how to get Kim back. Each one of them had hit their breaking point. Each one of them had been to their own hell. And some of them hadn’t made it back yet. And while Kim was fighting back from her hell, while she was fighting for her life, the team came together. They rallied together for their team member, for their friend. They had to come together in order to give Kim that energy. That strength in order for her to make it out on the other side. But that was temporary, and the team knew that. Now, after Kim has made it, the team doesn't know how to feel. They didn’t know what to do. And just because they got what they wanted — they got Kim back and they got her back alive — it doesn’t mean everything that just happened is dropped. It doesn’t mean everything, every word can just be forgotten. No, it just means things get taken off pause.

Intelligence had a lot of work to do. It had a long road ahead of them. The question is: will everyone make it out unscathed? Or will someone crack, leading Intelligence to be shattered?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello! I've been fumbling about them internetz and can't seem to find any good fics with a bit more lestrade, donovan and anderson(doesn't have to be positive at all). Have You per chance seen or read anything like this? Thank You!

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey Steph! , I Want to ask if you got any good fic with BAMF Mycroft / OFC (Anthea , Molly , or an original character), something hot !!!!! thanks !!!!

Hi Lovelies!

Ah, in regards to the Nonny ask, I don’t really have any other Pairings of a secondary characters with OC’s, etc., but since both of these asks are very similar, I’m putting them together in hopes you’re going to enjoy what I have for @givemeyoursoulplease!

That said, I’ve not many secondary character fics; I hope you enjoy what I do have! Not all of them I’m sure (I’m still going through my bookmarks), but that’s what “part 2′s” are for LOL. Feel free, my friends, to suggest your faves and your own fics!

SECONDARY CHARACTERS & OTHER CHARACTER POVs

Defining John Watson by StillWaters1 (K+, 660 w. || Friendship) – “Not good?” Two words and Lestrade realized just who John Watson actually was.

Realisation by Susie.Donym (K+, 957 w. || Sally POV, Pre-Slash / Friendship, Humour) – It takes her a while but Sally finally makes a huge realisation.

Devil’s in the Details (Isn’t that what you always say?) by Rae Himura (K, 976 w. || Angst, Sarah POV) – It was the little things Sarah noticed. (Or, some things even the world’s only consulting detective can’t see.)

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove - (NR, 1,053 w. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

Sherlock Is Not The One You Should Worry About by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,077 w. || Sally POV, Character Reflection, Praising John) – Sally Donovan’s eyes are opened about a certain Doctor John Watson.

Secrets by 796116311389 (G, 1,084 w. || Drunk Sherlock, Drunk Confessions, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock) – “He is the best person in the world and sometimes I get sad because I’m not. Not his best person.”

Wreckage and Rubble by grannysknitting (K+, 1,116 w. || Drama, H/C, Ambiguous Ending) – Lestrade’s point of view when he’s called to the wreckage of the pool. He doesn’t want to deal with the wreckage that would occur if London’s newest crime fighting duo are parted from each other.

The Simple Separation Will Not Come Between Us by The Circus (T, 1,278 w. || Hurt/Comfort, MCD, Violence, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Prose) – The choice is simple. Real, and No John. Or Not Real, and John. For a prompt that says ‘John dies and Sherlock loses himself in his Mind Palace’

Back in the Saddle by grannysknitting (M, 1,577 w. || Post TGG, Donovan POV, Observation / Introspection, Protective Sherlock, Injured John, Case-ish Fic) – Their first return to solving crime after the pool and the explosion.

With A Tilt Of The Head by StillWaters1 (K+, 1,636 w. || Anthea POV, ASiP, Character Study) – Anthea knew that she was witnessing the first of many meetings to come between John Watson and Mycroft Holmes. From the moment he had tilted his head, it was obvious that John wasn’t going anywhere: he was already more than “associated” with Sherlock – he was part of him.

In Which Lestrade Looks in on Sherlock and Observes by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,833 w. || Lestrade POV, Friendship, Hurt Comfort, John Whump) – John’s in hospital, which means Sherlock is, too. Lestrade takes it upon himself to look in on them.

A Sofa with a View by nondeducible (G, 1,855 w. || Domestic Fluff, Schmoop, Secret Relationship) – Lestrade loves football, John and Sherlock love each other.

Feed The Memory by Hekate1308 (T, 2,081 w. ||  Tragedy & Hurt/Comfort) – He could feed John Watson, at least. Angelo POV.

Only Human by BlackBandit111 (K+, 2,179 w. || Tragedy, Major Character Death, Sally POV) – Sally Donovan didn’t think she’d ever see Sherlock cry.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Rescue by missilemuse (T, 2,574 w. || Fake Relationship, Sherlock Whump, Irene Helps Sherlock) - If this was the way Sherlock Holmes loved, it was no wonder why he had avoided the damned emotion for over half of his life. Part 6 of Reichenbach To Return [[this isn’t really Johnlock, but it is… it’s non-ad10ck ad10ck. You have to read it to understand. It’s SO good and painful, trust me. Sherlock!Whump and pining]].

The Art Of Communication by StillWaters1 (T, 2,679 w. || Friendship, H/C) – Lestrade was used to getting odd, non sequitur texts from Sherlock. But when “John went out for milk” was followed by a terse “two hours ago,” Lestrade immediately understood three things: John was missing, Sherlock was quietly panicking, and this could all end very, very badly.

Waiting and Recovery by A Wandering Minstrel (K+, 3,173 w. || H/C, Friendship) – Lestrade waits for news of Sherlock and John at the hospital. Mrs. Hudson looks after her boys. Two companion pieces.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn’t trust the evidence in front of him, until there’s a compelling reason to do so.

First Night Out by verityburns (M, 3,251 w. || Romance, Christmas, Dev. Rel.) – As John recovers from the effects of a brutal kidnapping, he and Sherlock attend the Yarders’ Christmas Party. There are… developments on the dance floor…

The Bee Charmer by dreadpiratewatson (M, 3,314 w. || Est. Rel., Captain / Soldier John, Idiots in Love, Domestics, John in the Army) – Greg goes to 221B to check up on Sherlock after a strange phone call pulls him away from an important case, and is stunned to find himself in front of a gun brandishing soldier with a sleeping Sherlock on his chest. John Watson is a doctor, a war hero, a husband, and the only one in the world who can soften Sherlock’s heart.

Listening By Ear by StillWaters1 (T, 3,384 w. || Friendship, H/C, John Whump) –  Lestrade figured that anyone who thought John Watson wasn’t important, and that Sherlock hadn’t changed since meeting him, had to be completely, bloody deaf. Because it was all right there, in every sound Sherlock made. For anyone attentive enough to listen.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Posessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Days Go By by Hummingbird1759 (T, 4,454 w. || Angst, Friendship, Post-TRF, Introspection) – The characters’ lives go on after the Fall… sort of.

Study in Mycroft by chappysmom (K+, 4,929 w. || Character Study, Canon-Compliant, Mycroft POV, Big Brother Mycroft) – A look at Mycroft’s thoughts and actions during a Study in Pink.

when Harry met Sally (and then Sherlock Holmes) by Etharei (T, 5,443 w. || POV Outsider, Kidnapped John) – Harry Watson hadn’t expected the Met, and possibly the British government, to be this keen on locating her missing brother. {{TO READ}}

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating Character POV, Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Maybe This Christmas by feverishsea (T, 6,021 w. || Matchmaker Anthea, Anthea POV, Slight Mystrade, Holmes Family) – Anthea has given up her life, her own desires, even her name in service of something greater than herself. But that doesn’t mean she can’t see when someone else wants something – even if she doesn’t happen to care overmuch for that person. And it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to help.

Observational Failure, or: Seeing is Believing by SilentAuror (G, 8,733 w. || Lestrade POV, Romance) – Lestrade is almost sure that Sherlock and John are together now. All the evidence is pointing to it, yet he just can’t seem to wrap his brain around the concept.

Observational Failure, or: Seeing is Believing by SilentAuror (G, 8,733 w. || POV Third Person / Lestrade, Romance) – Lestrade is almost sure that Sherlock and John are together now. All the evidence is pointing to it, yet he just can’t seem to wrap his brain around the concept.

Our Sudden and Strange Return by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 10,314 w. || Post-TRF, Friendship) – One year, eight months, and an odd number of days after the alleged fatal fall Mycroft gets a message from Sherlock saying that he’s back.

Sunset’s Wake by StillWaters1 (T, 13,136 w. || Angst, Hurt /Comfort, Minor Character POV) – It wasn’t until that moment, when the dazed man in the practical black jacket came pushing through the crowd and into her arms, that she understood why she had been drawn outside St. Bart’s that day.

Sympathy for the Devil and Mycroft Holmes by scifigrl47 (T, 18,535 w. || Family, Canon-Compliant, Meddling Mycroft, Big Brother Mycroft) – Mycroft has always protected his younger brother, but there are some things he just can’t control. Sherlock’s relationship with John Watson is one of them. Set during the first two seasons of Sherlock.

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn’t just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That “doctor” actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

Jack In The Box by Liketheriver (T, 30,785 w. || Romance, Case Fic, H/C, Lestrade First POV) – John’s been kidnapped, Mycroft has rules, and Lestrade has to do his best to keep up with Sherlock as they deal with a returning foe. Lestrade POV as he and Sherlock work to find John, even though that’s the last thing John seems to want. Part 2 of Bedtime Universe

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w. || Alternating POV, MollyxJohn [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon…or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn’t know what Molly’s up to…but he knows he doesn’t like it.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit… (POV switches between multiple characters throughout the fic)

The Blog of Eugenia Watson by Mad_Lori (G, 95,026 w. || OC POV, Parentlock, Teenagers, Diary / Blogging / Journal, Family, Humour) – I like to think of this not so much as a blog but as the first draft of my inevitably best-selling memoirs. My Life In an Unconventional Family. How unconventional? Well, I live with my divorced parents and my dad’s husband. How’s that for starters? Trust me, it gets weirder.My name is Eugenia Watson, but you can call me Genie. I’m sixteen. This is my life. Note: Work is marked complete for now and is on hiatus, having reached a convenient stopping point. Additional chapters may be added in the future. {{HAVE NOT READ}}

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

To Admin Hoshit: Santa’s Helper (G)

Pairing: Admin Hoshit x Soonyoung Request: “tbh write anything as long as it ends well and no one dies” + “longish fic?? if possible???” Word Count: 2,843 Genre: Crack Warnings: Don’t do drugs, kids

A/N: Lmao I had a lot of fun writing this for you. Sorry it took so long. But Merry Christmas Hoshit, hope you enjoy this piece of nonsense lolololol I think it’s pretty obvious who I am at this point tbh, but have fun guessing, lovelies!

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this anymore… I’m leaving you.”

“W-what? But we were doing fine all along! Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it anymore, okay? Look, it was really fun and exciting when we first started out, but right now, the feeling’s fizzed out. I’m hella tired of this. We have to go our separate ways from now on.”

“You can’t just leave me alone after all that we’ve been through together! There’s still so much we’ve not done!” You stand up, rage filling every vein of your body. “NAKAMOTO YUTA, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!”

“THIS IS SO NOT WORTH SIX DOLLARS AN HOUR!” The man snaps his head around towards you. He slams the roll of tape down on the table, throwing his hands towards the pile of neatly gift-wrapped boxes. “I’ve been at it for ages now, and I’m already considered a saint for staying back a whole hour past my shift to help you! Let me go home to rest, damn it!”

“We’ve agreed to sign up for this winter job together!” you yell back, “You can’t ditch me now!”

“You’re the dumb one who signed your entire life away to this job so that you can buy your dumb merchandise,” Yuta remarks snarkily, ignoring the offended scoff you send his way. “Anyway, I’m out. Girl, I love you, but there’s only so much gift-wrapping I can handle before I turn completely insane.”

“The moment you walk out of this gingerbread house, you’re dead to me, Nakamoto.”

“Been dead since Day 1, babe.” And Yuta leaves with a sassy final wave goodbye, whipping off his reindeer headband and tossing it into the bin. “Have fun dealing with the kids.”

You let out a resigned puff of air to blow your bangs out of your face. Your only friend on this job is gone, and now you have to spend the rest of your 10 hour shift with either a total stranger or… that guy.

You stand up, stumbling a little after being seated on a god-forsaken kiddy stool, and made your way towards the record sheet containing the names of the part-timers pinned on the wall. The way your name occupied a large area of the excel sheet made you wince.

It had sounded so easy on the advertising site: wear a silly costume, give out complimentary gifts to children that attend the Santa Meet-&-Greet event at the mall. You sold your soul to the devil without thinking twice. But no, this job has taken a significant chunk of your sanity. Between the Meet-&-Greet intervals, you had to wrap an endless pile of gifts for the endless number of children. On more than one occasion, you had to stay behind to hit your quota, returning home when it’s almost midnight.

But then again, with the exorbitant amount of albums and merchandise of your favourite band you have yet to get your hands on, overtime pay is good.

Your name was under the ‘Santa’s Helpers’ list; every ‘Santa’s Helper’ would be paired up with a ‘Reindeer’ for each shift. You had thought it was a lot less embarrassing walking around in public in an elf’s costume compared to a reindeer’s -- you thought wrong. It’s tight, it’s itchy, the ringing of the silver bell adorning the tip of your hat had annoyed you two hours into your first day you snipped it off without hesitation. All the “reindeers” had to do is wear a damn onesie with cute reindeer horn headbands to match.

Anyway.

Your eyes scan through the ‘Reindeer’ list for the partner you’d be tied down to for the rest of the day. Yuta’s name is aligned with yours up till 5PM, and the person underneath Yuta is… Kwon S-- Jesus Christ.

You tilt your head back with a sardonic, almost maniacal grin. Your day is just going splendidly, isn’t it?

“The kids will be coming in 10 minutes, please be on standby…” the manager’s voice trails off as she only registers one other presence in the gingerbread house. “Where’s the reindeer?”

“HERE!”

A breathless wheeze, followed by a series of thundering footsteps cause the both of you to jump as Devil’s Spawn himself bursts through the fragile styrofoam doors. “Sorry, there was a line at the washroom, I couldn’t change until just about a minute ago…”

Both you and your manager scanned the boy’s bedraggled appearance simultaneously: his purple hair was frizzled and stuck out in all directions imaginable, his cheeks are shining with a sheen of perspiration, and apparently he hadn’t learnt how to button his clothes properly as a child.

Your manager tuts and waves him away, “Elf, you have 10 minutes to make this reindeer remotely presentable to the public. I have other matters to attend to.” With that, she whisks herself out of sight.

Soonyoung tilts his head, confused, until he lays his eyes on you. Then, his already small eyes narrow into hostile slits. “Oh, hello brat.”

“Tool,” you retort cooly, stepping up to fix Soonyoung’s mismatched buttons. “I thought you’re supposed to be a reindeer, not the grandma that got run over by one.”

“Hohoho, you’re hilarious,” he drawls mockingly in a high tone, slapping your hands away. “I can fix those buttons myself, thanks. And pass me one of the headbands from the bin, I left mine at home.” Rolling your eyes in disbelief, you proceed to fish out Yuta’s abandoned reindeer headband and throw it to the male.

“It’s Yuta’s, so I’m not sure it’ll go over that fat head of yours. I reckon you give it a try.”

“Meanie,” he mutters, grabbing it and fastening it over his head.

“Album wrecker.”

“Salty brat!”

“Son of a--”

“Mommy, look! A reindeer and a gremlin!” You both instantaneously abandon your banter to slap grins on your faces as a chubby kid waddles into the gingerbread house. Looks like your evening shift started early. Soonyoung bursts into a fit of laughter at the boy’s words. You curl your hands into fists in chagrin, forcing yourself to maintain the smile.

“The last time I checked, reindeers. Can’t. Laugh.” You discreetly but painfully jab him in the ribs before approaching the child, ignoring the pained yelp he lets out in response. “You’re done meeting Santa, kid? I’m one of Santa’s elves and I live here in this gingerbread house! Can I interest you in a free toy from under the tree?”

Against all odds, you manage to upkeep your professionalism throughout your shift, though you can’t help but let out a crotchety remark or two.

“Don’t go too close to that reindeer over there,” you’d say, one hand cupping your mouth while the other made pointed gestures over to Soonyoung, “I heard it eats children for breakfast.” Looking back, you wished you reserved that comment for someone more impressionable. The bespectacled twelve-year-old had stared back at you with an eyebrow raised, completely unimpressed.

Completely spent, you abandon your uncomfortable post on the kiddy stool to crashland on the carpeted floor with a satisfied groan. That’s 11 out of 12 days of Christmas down. Only one more day in this stinking job and you’re free for the rest of the holidays.

“God…” Soonyoung sighs, shedding off his thick reindeer onesie to reveal a white tank top that has been turned translucent with his sweat. “If I had to sing Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer one more damn time, I would have ran myself over with a sleigh.”

Normally this would result in a comment about him being weak from you, but this time, you are distracted by how his muscles stand out from under the thin material of his clothes. As insufferable as this guy can be, he sure does know how to have a good body-- wait, snap out of it, damn it!

“Oh, good! You are still here!” a sing-song voice cuts through your unholy thoughts as your manager enters the gingerbread house with paper bags lined with grease. “I got the both of you dinner. It’s a job well done today as usual!”

Both you and Soonyoung exchange suspicious glances. Free food and a chirpy attitude to boot? Those are two things you’d never associate with your boss.

“What do you want us to do?” Thankfully, Soonyoung lacked the tact and asked the question you were afraid of. At once, your manager drops her cheery facade with a nervous laugh. “I’m afraid I’ll have to buy a couple more hours of your time… See, an orphanage just called in to say that they will be dropping their kids down tomorrow at 8AM to visit Santa so that’s a hundred children’s worth of gifts to wrap and prepare by then…”

“A HUNDRED?!”

“But you don’t mind, do you?” She blinks sweetly at your direction. “I know this is last minute, but I’m sure the overtime pay will be enough to cover the costs of your guinea pig’s operation, right? That’s what you mentioned during our job interview?”

Behind you, Soonyoung can barely retain his snort of disbelief. “Guinea pig, huh? Is that what they call K-pop albums nowadays?” he guffaws just loud enough for you to hear, and you reward him with a merciless stomp on his big toe while never letting go of that faux angelic smile of yours.

“Sure, ma'am… But uh, my overtime pay will still be one-and-a-half times that of my average, right?”

“But of course! And you’ll have Reindeer over here to help you, so I’m sure you’d be done in no time!”

“I’ll be what now?” Soonyoung gapes dumbly.

“Great, I knew that I can count on you two! See you tomorrow~!” she merrily waves in farewell, making way for two toy store clerks lugging sacks-full of toys. The thin material of the sack rips, and a mountain of toys barrel out, leaving you and Soonyoung stunned.

But in retrospect, the sack is still holding on better compared to your little tether of sanity.

Soonyoung exasperatedly rubs his nape, carefully dragging the sack towards your work table. “Well, let’s just get this over and done with.”

He reaches over to the roll of wrapping paper, but stops short with a jump when you slam your hands atop of his. “Nuh-uh, there’s absolutely no way I’m trusting you with these.”

“What? Why not?”

“You’re going to ruin them with your sub-par fine motor skills and subsequently crush the dreams of a hundred little kids.” You let out a feral hiss, scrabbling at the wrapping papers, scissors and tape towards your bosom protectively. Soonyoung looks beyond peeved.

“I will not!” he cries. “My fine motor skills are, as they call it, FINE!”

He hazards an attempt to slide a pair of scissors out from under your arm, but you lunge out, snapping your teeth at his fingers and he withdraws, visibly intimidated. “What’s wrong with you, woman?” he yelps, obviously offended.

“YOU STEPPED ON MY ALBUM AND TORE IT WITH YOUR STINKING FEET FIRST DAY ON THE FIRST DAY WE MET, AND TRIED FIXING IT WITH POORLY CUT DUCT TAPE. THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG!” you screech. “HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE ALL CHUMMY WITH YOU AFTER THAT?! HOW DO PEOPLE TRUST YOU TO GO OUTSIDE UNSUPERVISED, YOU MONSTER?!”

“Look, that was just that one time!” he cries in defense, ignoring a woman’s concerned glance into the gingerbread house. “And don’t you have like, twenty of the same damn album? If I’d known you’d still be this hung up about it after 2 months I could have just bought you a new one!”

“How dare you, every single one of my albums are unique and precious and--” your eyes snap wide open when you register his previous words. “Did you say you’d buy me a new album?”

To your surprise and delight, Soonyoung shrugs. “I mean why not, these things can’t be that expensive, right?”

You beg to differ, but then you consider the fact that Soonyoung (lord knows how) is a lot more well off than you are as a freelance dancer. You abandon the lingering doubt to slap on what you hope is a face of a pleading puppy dog at the purple-haired male.

He audibly blanches. “Alright, let’s get to work now, can we? Good thing there isn’t anything in my stomach to hurl out, yeesh...” He tries once again to snatch the pair of scissors from your possession, but the icy glare you shoot at him makes his actions falter.

“You’re still hopeless at crafts, by the way,” you inform him, the image of your ruined album, hastily patched together with silver strips of adhesive with dog-eared pages here and there, surfacing in your mind. You can’t help but laugh at that ridiculous scenario. “Duct tape, really?”

“Oh shush, I panicked. At least let me feed you while you wrap, okay?”

You both reached an efficient compromise whereby you handle the wrapping while ever so often opening your mouth such that Soonyoung could slip a french fry between your lips, him munching on his own burger as well.

“Eat!” Soonyoung snaps when you refused the tenth fry. He’s realised by now that you had an awful habit of not eating whenever you’re too absorbed in something. “How are you going to wrap the presents for the kids well on an empty stomach?”

“Who cares about the kids,” you drone, your words coming out as more of a statement than a question.

Letting out a puff of air at his dark violet fringe, Soonyoung tries again. “How are you going to get your paycheck to buy more merchandise if you’re working on an empty stomach?”

“Ah,” you part your jaws and Soonyoung feeds you again with a resigned sigh. “Who knew you’d be this whipped for your favourite artiste?”

“Who didn’t?” you point out, throwing aside the finished toy car with reckless abandon.

“Yuta was complaining the other day that you barely have the time to hang out with him because you’ve chained yourself to this job. And for what, money for more merchandise and concert tickets?”

You hear the incredulity in his voice and you purse your lips. “Look, think whatever you want, but they make me happy. This world sucks and their music is a form of escapism for me. I’ll be willing to work day and night for the boys that make my life just that much brighter. Like it or not, they will pretty much occupy the majority of the space in my heart.”

You both fall silent while you catch your breath from that revelation. From the corner of your eye, you see Soonyoung shifting his eyes nervously. “Then… is there at least space for one more person in your life?”

The scissors in your hand slip and clatter onto the table noisily.

“I mean--” Soonyoung stutters, knowing how his words must have sounded like. “I want to make it up to you, you know. We started off on a bad note because of me, and I’d like it if we can have a do-over. Let’s go out for lunch or dinner sometime after this stinking job ends.”

Surprisingly, that sounded good to you, but there’s no way you’re letting him get the impression that you’re warming up to him this quickly. “Fine, I’ll see if I can squeeze you in.”

“Great!” His eyes, already tiny like the that of a hamster’s, light up like a child’s on a Christmas morning. “We’ll head on out for dinner after our shift tomorrow, then we’ll head on to the shop to get your new album, sounds good?”

Dammit, I like this kid already.

You nod, and you both resume work. At some point, you turned on your Spotify playlist to let Soonyoung get to know the kind of music you’re listening to, and he actually enjoys them. In return, he lets you listen to his favourite bands and musicians.

You even let him try his hand at wrapping a relatively simple box-shaped gift, only to grab it back in utter horror when he sticks the wrapping paper inside out.

You don’t know how long you’ve been going at it, but Soonyoung stiffens in fear when you both hear a resounding metallic click from a few metres away.

“W-was that the mall custodian locking up?” he whimpers, but he turns befuddled when he sees you looking completely nonchalant.

“Yeah, the mall closes at eleven, the doors will open again at seven in the morning.”

At this point, Soonyoung can’t even begin to feel surprise anymore. “How many times have you been locked in here because of work?”

“Eh, thrice counting this.”

“God, you’re hopeless.”

“But this means we’ll be first in line to grab some drinks at Starbucks tomorrow. We can have our date then. You in, kid?”

And Soonyoung actually laughs, whether it is out of amusement or of sheer despair, you can’t really tell.

“Oh geez, what have I gotten myself into…”

[maskedblackfox]

A-Z that haven't already been asked

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]? {I can answer with all of them.-The Birthday Gift:It sounded sweet.-Starcrossed:It was originally about Togami and Fukawa being together throughout different time periods. It was later changed, because the it was too complicated.-I just want this: It was the sentence prompt.-Imperfections: That’s literally what the story is about.-The Legend of Zelda, sort of: It was six in the morning, i was in a hurry, and i kinda just, thought it up-Sayaka Maizono’s Final Performance: It was the name of her unused execution.-Thantophobia: Thantophobia is described as “The fear of loosing someone you love” and that’s what the whole story is about.-Vergebung: It’s the German word for “Forgiveness”. (Currently unreleased)-The Visitor:That’s what the story is about. (Currently unreleased)}B: {Answered already}C: What member do you identify with most? {Members as in characters in the story? If so, Fukawa and Lusamine}D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]? {Usually sad, softer songs, since most of my writing is angst.}E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about? {It depends on the fic}F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. {”The snowdanced lightly outside of the bedroom window, Fukawa watched them twirl andglide through the night sky, a street lamp outside provided a perfect spotlightfor their performance.”-The Visitor. I gave possibly the best description of snowfall i may ever write.} {Of course there are other snippets, but i can’t think of any others right now} G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? {For almost all of them, i go start to finish.(I can’t write any other way) For Thantophobia, it’s divided into sections for the dates that the events of the fic happen. Because of that, i can just work on the sections as i please}H: How would you describe your style? {Someone else answer this for me, i don’t know}I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? {I used to, now i just imagine story ideas that i never right down}J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. {In Thantophobia, Kenji has an alternative death sequence i’ll probably never write down, where he survived for five days before dying of unknown causes, leading both Fukawa and Togami to think that she(Fukawa) killed him, causing them to separate for a while. Of course, i’m not erasing all of my damn work, so now there’s two universes that are separated depending on how Kenji died.} (I’m sure i have an AU where he survives, too)K: {Answered already}L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? {I proof-read 1-3 times before posting}M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share? {I’ve got a bunch}N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? {Yes. Many}O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters? {I act everything out, before deciding to write it. So usually both}P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?) {Architect. I can’t write any other way}Q: How do you feel about collaborations? {I’m not good enough to collab with someone! Especially since i work with AUs}R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence? {Toko Fukawa, as a character, and @zenonaa​}S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? {Enemies to lovers, sharing a bed, ect.}T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand? {Can’t think of any}U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. {I think Livi’s the only person i read fics from anymore, that’s not my work. I can’t really explain why i like Livi, i just do, that’s all i know}V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?  {I shouldn’t answer this one, i’ll stress out whatever writer i pick the story from}W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? {I don’t know}X: A character you enjoy making suffer. {Fukawa}Y: {Answered already}Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate? {Not in my stories.}    

[rangergirl3]

Alphabet Game

I saw that @butteredonions did this, and it seemed like fun! :D

A - age: I’m in the 25-30 range. However, I did just find that I have a few strands of pure white hair. They really aren’t very visible, but yeah...so that’s a thing. I am now convinced my nickname should be Shiro. :-)

b - either centipedes or failure: I’d avoid the centipedes. I hate insects that are hairy and big and crawly. 

c - current time: 8:46pm.

d - drink I last had: In the morning? Coffee with hazelnut creamer and some hot cocoa mix. Just now? Water. :-)

e - every day starts with: two cups of coffee and queuing up my Amazon Music playlist so I can have background music when I go for a walk or do other work.

f - favorite song: Oh, man, I have so many... but the latest one I’ve been listening to non-stop is ‘Titanium’ by Voices In Your Head. Also, a close second is both ‘Light Up The World’ by the Glee Cast. I haven't seen the show, but I love the beat to that version of the song.

g - ghosts. Are they real?: I think there’s some merit to it. I’ve definitely felt completely creeped out in places where I had no bad associations with, and then found out later that something pretty bad went down there. In a similar category, I do think that those who love you are looking out for you in a similar manner. A few years ago, I was driving and barely avoided a head-on car accident at 70mph because someone in my backseat (which was empty) told me to just keep driving straight and not panic. I was a complete mess of nerves later, but I swear that it was my uncle and my aunt who were doing the backseat driving. They both died long before could really get to know them, but damn. They are bad-asses protectors.

h - hometown: Didn’t really have one growing up. I currently reside in the Midwest, but I’m not particularly attached to it. For me, home is people and where you can relax with a good story and a cup of coffee. :-)

i - in love with: My awesome husband who is just as much as a nerd as I am. I’m absolutely head over heels for this guy. I’m serious. He’s not perfect, but then neither am I. Together, we make a pretty good team. <3 <3 <3 

j - jealous of: Um...to be truthful, I’m not really /jealous/ of anyone. I do wish that some things in my past were different...but I’m not really jealous of those who had what I didn’t. I do wish I could do parkour and sword fight and make it as a published author...but you know. Those I might be able to work on. :D

k - killed someone: I killed an OC in a fic in my Lost Paladins series. It was one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. That OC was a jackass.

l - last time I cried:  Oh, honey, I’m Irish-Italian. Count on us to tear up at almost anything. But the most recently that  I really, truly, cried was with both relief and fury last month because two of my siblings were in an airport shuttle and some jackass ran into their shuttle going over 100mph in a 30mph zone. Miraculously, they are fine. Every single aspect of the accident should have resulted in death...but it didn't. *insert PSA about safe driving here because life matters*

m - middle name: Catherine, after my aunt who apparently likes to make life-saving cameos in my life. From when I nearly got hit by a car when I was three, to the head-on collision avoidance by about five feet, to not being electrocuted in a freak accident. Dang, did I get a great namesake or what. :-)

n - number of siblings: Seven, every one of them unique and awesome. I wouldn’t trade being their sister for the world. Or universe.

o - one wish: Being better at feeling confident in social situations where I feel uncomfortable - mostly gatherings where I want to impress people but I’m not sure what they’ll think of my accomplishments or interests.

p - person you last called/texted: My twin sister. Yep, it’s awesome when we get  together. Fun fact: siblings interactions always give me inspiration for writing. :-)

q - questions you’re always asked: “Do you think the same as your twin sister?” No, honey, but we both think that’s a really annoying question. Please stop it.

r - reasons to smile: My ‘Lost Paladins’ series just beat the word count of Crime and Punishment in less than a year because apparently, I am a queen of true nerdiness. *noisemaker sound of celebration*

s - song last sang: ‘Light Up The World’. The beat is addicting. Also, hugely fun to practice ridiculous dance moves to.

t - time I woke up: 8:45am.

u - underwear color: Lol, no. Just...no. 

v - vacation destination: Somewhere with lots of beautiful rolling hills near the sea and a really cute bed and breakfast with wifi so I can still access my music. So, maybe, Ireland? Europe would be pretty neat too.

w - worst habit: I have been listen to the same one, or two, or three-minute song on repeat while writing for hours. Hours. I must use headphones because otherwise anyone near me goes absolutely bonkers, which I understand.

x - x-rays you’ve had: Really, only one, for my arm a while back...but as far as reactions to pain meds, it’s somewhat legendary. Ever since I was little, I have regularly been 1) Unable to keep them down 2) they didn’t really do shit and 3) I lost six hours of awareness. Not consciousness, mind you. Just awareness of what I was doing or saying. Apparently I wandered around the house looking spaced out beyond belief and said rabbits were cute before sitting on the couch and staring up at the ceiling for another hour until on of my roommates took pity on me and helped me curl into a snuggly ball of still-completley-out-of-itness on my bed. Needless to say, I never took that kind of pain med again.

y - your favorite food: Chocolate. It’s a food group.

z - zodiac sign: Libra. Dangit, I was so close to being a Sagittarius - I always liked that they had an archer for a sign :D

I’m tagging @teenage-mutant-angsty-zukos @havetoomanyfandoms and anyone else who’d like to play! :D Don’t feel like you have to - it’s just for fun! :D

[gurguliare]

so apparently the last flareup of elwing discourse was in july, which i know because emma and i then proceeded to have a fantastically involved conversation about maglor and maedhros’s babysitter qualifications, in the six months before gil-galad came to pick the twins up

now seems as timely as ever.

Emma: i feel about maglor and the kidnap twins the way that i feel about shakespeare plays Emma: .... Emma: that’s one of those sentences you instantly regret

Emma: what i meant was Emma: there are some specific shakespeare plays i read in an abridged version when i was like ten Emma: and instantly and vividly created this FULL INTERNAL FANDOM for Emma: which are not (1) very good summaries of the plays themselves Emma: (2) based on any real production that i could ever see Gogol: wait so tell me more about your damn kidnap twins fanon though Emma: THE THING IS I DON’T KNOW. IT JUST PLAYS ON THE INSIDE OF MY EYELIDS Emma: i don’t know i feel like— i worry about it too Emma: but just, consider that caveat hovering over it, that i worry that my attitudes about this are not great, but Emma: i tend to believe the text when tolkien says that a love grew between them Emma: so i like all the ones quite a bit where elros and elrond are plotting his murder but that’s not what i imagine… i figure them as… well Emma: kids! who maybe Emma: especially elrond Emma: internalize at first that something went wrong, and maybe maglor had to do this? to take them away from their parents? so Gogol: oh my god………. baby .... Emma: i like the idea of elrond’s vast understanding or whatever and deep worrying about the future coming in part from this— unconscious need to placate and then to actually help this very troubled MOTHERFUCKER WHO KIDNAPPED HIM Emma: ok, i’ll just— figure out what’s best. because you don’t know what’s best? and your brother is a creep? so like, we’re going to… work this out? together? you made some mistakes, but wh ohasn’t made some mistakes Emma: ha ha! aren’t we all noldor here! Emma: and it taking him a while to intellectually get to “no… we were kidnapped…” Emma: like the twenty year, very serious version of the "WAIT." comic Gogol: fuck Emma: and at that point the war is happening and they have other concerns Emma: and i also like the idea that elrond never totally got out of it Emma: like, in his subconscious Emma: that if you ask him he’s like “no it’s fucked up they stole me from my home and family” etc but, well, he’s still like “but… you know… the noldor aren’t ALL bad… those greatly harmed can do great harm… :(“ Emma: and that requires a maglor who isn’t like, discussing which of them they’ll kill as the unnecessary hostage Emma: with maedhros, although i like those fics quite a lot Emma: at this point my elros characterization is just “em’s elros” so w/e assume i just said that a bunch Emma: “the most christian elros imaginable" Gogol: i feel like em's elros is my actual fingon headcanon Gogol: no that's a joke Gogol: it's not completely a joke. Gogol: also, has troubling implications Gogol: but yeah. I LIKE YOUR VERSION better than some of the maglor’s malice ones i'm Gogol: contemplating Gogol: i was thinking definitely before you'd even started in on details that like. … yeah, i mean, i prefer to take the text at face value in those instances where it DOES give rare emotional insight, and also idk if you read simaethae's elwing meta today but Emma: nooo Gogol: one sec Gogol: this paragraph: - only Elwing lives, and finds her husband, and they sail West, the first people to manage it in centuries, and they find the Valar and Earendil, the longed for that cometh beyond hope, persuades them to intervene and win the War; and this time the twins live too, and not only do the Feanorians let them live but love grew after between them, as little might be thought - Gogol: which is like, yeah, the reason i genuinely love the … texture of the voyage of earendil chapter, where the sheer barren scraped-cleanness of the landscape makes hope a sort of inevitable weed Gogol: anyway so Emma: RIGHT Emma: there’s nothing ELSE Emma: you HAVE to be with each other Emma: everyone else is DEAD Emma: of tuor and his coming to gondolin is like that too! Gogol: YEAH although tuor has much more of the actively numinous quality i associate with luthien and beren, where it's not only… hope against darkness but also like… i don't know, wonder and delight, for some fucking reason--earendil's voyage and the war of wrath by comparison are both so curiously Gogol: not "secular" but like… delimited by practical necessities Gogol: to get back to maglor and elrond i was just going to say that like, definitely that caretaker role unfortunately on elrond's part Emma: yes yes yes yes Emma: you are right abt tuor and the wonder and delight—that last unexpected stream of water is no joke! Emma: as opposed to the fens at sirion. Gogol: YEAH Gogol: i mean beleriand after gondolin is really like… right, every water source is tainted, but the sea Gogol: but fuck that was what i was going to say actually was one thing i was picturing re maglor elrond and elros was like, maglor and maedhros literally MUCH MORE OUT OF THEIR FUCKING DEPTH Gogol: than they often are in fic... Gogol: like, no joke, struggling to survive against terrible odds for absolutely no motivation Emma: y e sssss it's Emma: i don’t know i fthis makes mechanical sense but i always pictured them like Emma: ... Emma: camping on the really barren parts of, like, bodega bay Gogol: flakdgjalKJGLS:GJ Gogol: YEAH Emma: where it’s just volcanic rock and seagulls Emma: “want to go fishing” “ummm" Emma: “do the children we kidnapped know how to fish” “YOU can ask them that question" Emma: for forty YEARS Emma: in the distance the CONTINENT EXPLODES! Gogol: i'd also be really interested in seeing a… more engaged and frustrated and possessive-of-his brother maedhros honestly like a maedhros who almost wakes up with the last kinslaying Gogol: but in the worst way Emma: ohhhh my god Emma: yeah Emma: not the gentled miserable murderer Emma: but the one who’s determined to keep maglor, and only maglor, alive Gogol: like does he care about the KIDS, no, but is it a way to get at maglor or occasionally to get maglor up, OKAY Emma: and even if elrond and elros did not totally pick up on this, Emma: he wouldn’t be ashamed of just doing it directly Gogol: i can't tell if this is genuinely hotter than fanon standard or if i'm just flipping the dynamic for novelty. w/e i guess Gogol: i do think this version is easier to reconcile with endgame maglor without completely unrolling him Emma: i just still love the rules lawyering of Emma: “listen we can just… WAIT" Emma: “maybe it’ll go AWAY" Emma: “the oath says not” it does sort of fucking imply that though maglor. Emma: you big desperate baby Gogol: y es Gogol: … i don't know. the problem is i like their last convo so much AS like, the first conversation they've had in two hundred years, it's hard to game that for a substantive prior relationship, even though i know they must have done THINGS Emma: ... Emma: is it though Emma: remember that the other convo we have for them is “isn’t that a silmaril” “you know i’ve been meaning to mention to you that i think that would be a good thing" Emma: "[crushing silence]" Gogol: lkJALkjdg Gogol: I MEAN IT'S NOT hard for me to PICTURE but then it's like Gogol: kind of a conversation… ender… in terms of… "what were they talking about and doing in bodega bay" Emma: yeah. Emma: tru. Gogol: i was going to say i kinda still am picturing barely-verbal maedhros in a LOT of contexts, just like, you know, whenever maglor's not looking/conscious, suddenly Gogol: "elros take his legs" Emma: you know what i also like is Emma: maglor and maedhros— well they wouldn’t intend it anyway because like, intending things takes too much effort Gogol: WAY too much effort Emma: but not being aware of how… childlike elrond and elros are Emma: and how much they’re asking of them Emma: because, peredhil. Gogol: oh yeah absolutely lol Emma: so, elrond and elros like, Growing Up Fast in a way that they both assume is their elvish heritage Emma: when actually it is just SUPER fucking human Emma: and elrond never ever figures it out, and elros does at age like 600 Gogol: also like, maedhros and maglor grew up in a household with seven kids..... Gogol: "unnecessary compounding misconceptions" the feanorion party game Gogol: also like. being frustrated with elrond and elros's developmental slowness in some areas and reassured by their accommodating intelligent 'maturity' in others :\ Emma: y e p Emma: i was going to say something about maglor’s almost-scientific curiosity as to their human heritage Emma: shared with the kids Gogol: UH HUH. elrond like, oh good, i………. fooled him into thinking i'm competent another day…. Emma: tomorrow is another opportunity to keep doing that! Emma: joke’s on you you get 2000 more years Gogol: LMAO Gogol: GOD. ELROND. WHY DID HE NOT MAKE NARN ARWEN AH ARAGORN CANON Emma: i know poor child Emma: this is one reason i’m super enamored of celebrian who grew up with the exact opposite pressures Emma: a mother who just assumed that she would never grow out of being 30 and biddable Gogol: i overseriously don't know that i would say OPPOSITE pressures but also: yes and i love them Gogol: by which i just mean like, biddability prized in both cases but. functional vs decorative Gogol: but it's not like maedhros and maglor wanted elrond and elros to be ADULTS Gogol: just, USEFUL children Gogol: whereas galadriel probably wishes celebrian were more impressive but at the end of the day has to admit she likes celebrian's mild patience best of all. they're both being very understanding of each other she feels Emma: oh my fucking god Emma: yeah. Emma: why are there people who don’t want dirtbag galadriel Gogol: nooooo ideaaaaa