#(the funny thing being I don't think a lot would fundamentally have to change about the HBG gang in villain-coded)

[anonymouspuzzler]

you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

[outisgivingpac]

Pick-a-card: What kind of lover you are attracting?

Hello everyone, I'm back (kind of?) to deliver my first love reading ever! 👀🔥 This PAC will look into what kind of romantic (but also platonic) relationship you are inviting to your life with your current energy. Basically, we will see what personality traits you like about each other and what makes your relationship work. Be mindful that your energy changes over time, and with this collective reading, only take what resonates 🍀✨

If you want to book a personal reading with me, check out my pinned post. There you will also find the masterlist of all my free PAC! Enjoy~ 🌞

🐱Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐱

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 4 of Swords

First of all, the kind of lover you're attracting are drawn to you by your sharp wits, as well as your fierce and independent nature. Where others find your rough exterior difficult to deal with, this person finds charm and wisdom. They like how argumentive and opinionated you are, like you won't be afraid to speak up for the underdogs and can be real protective around your loved ones. In turn, you might like this person for their generous and forgiving nature. Though their ways of living might trigger your protective instinct at first, like how could someone be so comfortable laying their heart bare? What if someone take advantages of them?? (Lol) But soon enough, you will learn their kindness didn't come from naivety, but their rich life experiences; they are someone emotionally mature and capable to give and receive love from a healthy headspace. As someone who had to navigate through life with careful calculation and always on alert, you will grow to trust this person to mean what they say and be genuine with you throughout your relationship. Fundamentally, you both see each other as a sanctuary. You know the other got your back in the end of the day, and got to "recharge" just by spending time together. Platonic or romantic, this seems to be a wholesome connection that helps you stay grounded during turbulent time.

Pile 2: 4 of Cups reversed, Page of Swords, The Moon reversed

The first thing came up when I read your cards is how it feels like you guys meet/interact with each other in a highly specific environment. Meaning, you don't neccessarily have access to each other's personal life or have constant communication, but just expect to see each other at particular time and space. You could easily be classmate or colleagues, or are sharing a mutual friend. I hear some of you would refer to each other to a third person with a really specific nickname, for example "that guy who takes double expresso" or sth like that. You like this person because they're a social-butterfly with a lotta energy. They often poke fun with you and are fairly successful. On their side, they find you interesting, despite the first impression of you being quite standoffish. You managed to take them aback several times with some witty/funny remarks. They think you have a lot to offer, long as others put effort to help break the ice. This relationship seems to be of a casual and light-hearted nature. It sounds strange but, it just works when neither parties know where they are going, nor do they try too hard to stir the boat somewhere specific. It's the kind loose committal relationship that deepen slowly overtime, like the sediment at the bottom of a river.

Pile 3: 2 of Swords, Strength, Temperance reversed

The person you're attracting seems to be someone you would usually consider as "out of your league". Unlike you who always strike for a harmony in a group, this person has a strong and upfront personality, though I won't describe them as unkind or selfish. Quite the opposite, they are incredibly wise and have a big heart of an advocate. In your eyes, they have accomplished a lot of admirable goals with their talent second to their tenacity and hard work. Comparing to them, you might find yourself too indecisive and easily flustered to step out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, they see you as someone with many contradictions and complex inner world. In conversation with you, they can tell how you have many different interests and potentials, yet more often than not surrender your choices to the circumstances or other people. On the surface, it seems like a "I can fix them" kind of attraction, but at the same time I don't sense a strong desire to force themselves in your life from this person. In other words, they are not someone who would force others to change in order to match them. But they will wait and see if you will break out of the comfort zone, or from the harmony of "how things should be", with your own conviction. If anything, they want to be one of your conscious choice, not an convenient option due to the circumstances.

[tiredandoptimistic]

As someone who likes a lot of "bad" media, or media that starts out kinda slow but builds into a bigger plot over time, I see so many different opinions on what bits are "okay" to skip in order to get to the good part, and it's just wild to me. Bouncing around between the highlights doesn't actually give you the experience, and filler is so important when it comes to just...creating a vibe and building up the relationships between characters and with the audience.

For instance, Red vs Blue is probably my favorite show (ever, of all time), and while I will admit that the first five seasons are not my favorite, I still think they're essential to the show, because those five years of relatively low stakes adventures set the tone so that it can be upset by the bigger plot points. The impact of a big twist is reduced if you haven't spent the time to get invested in these characters when they're just hanging out and being silly. Most importantly though, even once the plot really gets going in season six and we get into the more serious Freelancer and Chorus arcs, Red vs Blue is still fundamentally about a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. If you have to force yourself to put up with the majority of the show, then you might just not like this show.

I was talking about this with my friend, and they said it's kinda the same thing with Homestuck. Yes, it does get "better" as time goes on, but it's still the same thing it's always been, and if that's not something you enjoy then skipping to the bits you do like won't change what it is.

Or like, I freaking love The Order of the Stick, and last year I reread it from the beginning for the first time in a while, and I half convinced myself that I'd just made up how good it is (because volume one is funny enough but nothing to write home about). However, I hit a certain point where I realized that I wasn't just reading out of a sense of obligation but because I adore these characters and am unspeakably invested in this plot. You can really tell that it's been a story happening over the course of 20+ years, you can see the writing and art improve dramatically as time goes on. I could just recommend that someone start with volume two or three, and summarize the plot up till then so they don't feel lost. However! That would rob them of the experience you get from watching these characters grow. You can't fully appreciate Belkar's arc in volume six if you didn't see what he was like on day one, y'know?

On another note, I love the Shadowhunters Chronicles, and I know that a lot of people will give The Mortal Instruments shit and call it the worst series or whatever, but those people just hate fun. Yeah, there are other series that might have stronger plots and better writing, but there's a reason that TMI's main characters have been iconic for years. Sometimes, things are just silly, and if you don't like that then you're not gonna have a good time here.

I could go on! I also like a lot of episodic shows like MASH, Community, Tangled: the Series, the whole DC animated universe, Supernatural, etc. I could come up with lists of my favorite episodes to try to hook somebody, but all of those episodes lose a lot of their impact when taken out of context. Skipping the filler doesn't give you the ultimate experience of Only The Best, it takes away your chance to fully spend time with these characters in a variety of settings. And sure, lots of shows with multiple writers do have some episodes that are just bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a difference between something being bad and something being low-stakes. Maybe you personally don't enjoy things that are low-stakes, but that might just mean you shouldn't be watching a sitcom.

So yeah, this has been an excuse for me to rant about things I enjoy for a while but I'm sorta out of time and need to eat lunch, so I suppose this post has reached its conclusion. All my favorite media are my favorite for reasons I couldn't articulate in an elevator pitch, and putting together a highlight reel will never substitute for truly being in the trenches. If you're truly having a good time with something then you won't need to skip to the good part, because the whole thing is enjoyable.

[positivelybeastly]

Love reading through your analyses and I was wondering if you had insight on something I noticed with Hank/Beast and Kurt/Nightcrawler: writers often use both of them in the visible mutation metaphor and emotional cores, but Kurt's approach is more from faith and Hank's is more from curiosity. Often when one or either are gone/dead/changed, things seem to get worse for the Team overall.

Do you think those two would benefit each other's characters? Even just to have spirited philosophical discussion?

So, this actually touches on a funny thing that I've noticed with Beast and Nightcrawler over time - which is that they're almost never on the same team together, probably precisely because they serve an extremely similar function in a team composition, for the reasons you've kind of touched on here.

They are, after all, both heavily visibly mutated individuals who were, or are, considered figures of great integrity and morality, with a strong code of ethics and a depth of feeling that expresses itself in a deeply vivacious personality - romantic, friendly, charming, and erudite.

Therefore, having them both on a team is, unfortunately, somewhat redundant.

That being said! They do still interact, and they're shown to be sources of great comfort and friendship for one another. Their first meetings were - somewhat inauspicious . . .

See, this is the funny thing about old comics - storylines just flow and flow and flow. Comics didn't stop after ten issues and get restarted with a new #1 every few months, they just ran and ran and ran, and the pacing reflected that.

There aren't usually month long gaps where you can assume nothing happened and people just got to hang out, they're working hard! Hank has been working with the Avengers so much that he literally hasn't even had time to meet the new X-Men properly! Wild.

But, eventually, things did slow down, and they got a chance to properly socialise, and, as expected, they got along like a house on fire.

Like, these two are just born to be friends. They have so much in common. Where Hank leans more to the obscure, the erudite, and the scientific, Kurt leans more to the dashing, the swashbuckling, and, of course, the religious, but they're still both fundamentally cut from the same cloth - acrobatic, charming, philosophical, heroic, fun.

But, that same alike quality means you don't get a ton of interaction between them, so I cling to what they do have. One of my favourite interactions between them is in Nightcrawler's 2004 solo series.

First off, absolutely adore Hank in this art style. The fact that the artist decided to include the detail of his fur poking out of the shirt like that is just. It transfixes me. I really want to go over and just. Run my fingers through his side fur. But mostly, I just like their chemistry? Hank's a great supporting character because he's so emotionally intelligent and reflective, and he's great at giving people perspective, usually with a healthy dose of sarcasm and teasing.

That being said, this scene is always the one I point to whenever I say that the X-Men really have no idea what's going on in Hank's head a lot of the time, because this took place after Hank had been psychically brutalised, nearly beaten to death, and one of his best friends had just been murdered - and he's doing a really very good job of hiding that trauma.

So much so that Kurt thinks he's just fine. He's just fine. There's nothing to worry about. But it's not Kurt's fault, and it's nowhere near unique to him, either. He had no way to know, he had his own stuff going on (the subject matter of this solo series, as it happens), and Hank is doing well enough that it isn't interfering with things, so, let him deal with it in peace, I suppose.

At least on this occasion.

Kurt is, after all, an emotionally intelligent and caring individual. You can't stop Nightcrawler from trying to help where he can. And I think that even just the reaching out, just the show of support, can be enough for a character like Hank.

Moments like these matter, in my opinion. It's important to show that teammates and friends care about each other, in the moment to moment stories, otherwise it can all feel very impersonal and like no-one cares about one another. This is how you establish dynamics over years, even between characters who have, technically speaking, never really been on a team together before.

The next big milestone I can think of comes after the X-Men's move to Utopia, where, again, Hank and Kurt don't share a ton of panel time together, but . . .

This is one of the few times you'll ever hear anyone say that Hank was right. And it's not really a surprise that it comes from Kurt, because, again, these men are cut from the same cloth. They come at it from different angles, but they believe in much the same things.

And . . . that's why it hits so hard when Kurt dies.

I don't necessarily agree with the decision to have Hank break from the literal funeral procession to call Scott out for Kurt's death. Some fans of Nightcrawler really appreciate that moment, because it shows how much Kurt's death affected Hank, but I personally just. Don't think it tracks, for Hank to be quite that disrespectful.

After the funeral, or even before, but during it? Nah. Matt Fraction made a good few Hank characterisation choices I don't agree with, and this was one of them.

This felt a bit more apropos.

Remember what I said about how little moments build to dynamics between characters who have never been on teams together? I buy this moment so much more with the context of that moment from Endangered Species, where Kurt is literally positioned as the light trying to pull Hank out of the dark path he's following with obsessive fervour. The fact that he was trying went a long way. Hank felt it, even if he didn't take him up on it at the time. That moment mattered.

And that's why I absolutely buy Hank's reaction when Kurt came back to life.

Hank believes in Kurt. He believes the very best of him. On teams where Hank can often feel alone or isolated, someone like Kurt will reach out, and make him feel connected, and welcome, and pull him back. Temper his scientific pessimism and realism with optimism and belief. Restore his fervour, and remind him of simpler, happier times.

A lot of the best scientists, who have contributed the most to scientific inquiry, were religious, because for a lot of them, there's no real conflict between science and religion, they're both two sides of the same coin, in a way - a belief in a higher power. It's just how they react to that higher power that changes.

And while Hank was explicitly religious for a while, I always interpreted him as losing that faith over the years, becoming bogged down in the real over the sublime as what he went through wore him down. Someone like Kurt was able to spark that in him again. Maybe not his faith, per se, but at the very least belief in the human spirit.

It's important. As you say, massive benefit to each other's characters. Underrated dynamic, these two. Absolutely love 'em.

[vaultdwellerbarbie]

dating javi: headcanons

javi rivera (twisters)/reader

content warnings mentions of tornado, one reference to sex

sometimes i feel like it seems like i'm in love with anthony ramos. to set the record straight, this is because i am! but his birthday is 4 days before mind (different year) so i think i'm genetically predisposed to be.

PRIOR to losing his friends, javi was definitely a lot less mature and a lot lazier. that's not to say that he would have been a bad boyfriend at the time, but sometimes you're dragging him out of bed.

he was also a big snacker (he was still a snacker afterwards), those lime hot cheetos might taste good eating them but when you've just brushed your teeth and you go to kiss him and that's the first thing you taste it can be a bit jarring - he thinks it's funny when you make fun of him and tell him 'no more kissing' until he brushes his teeth.

he lets you style his hair for sure, since he has it longer he's definitely willing to let you brush it and style it for him.

he also strikes me as the kind of guy that might be a tiny tiny bit possessive, especially since he was in college at the time, so if he's not trying to leave a hickey he's giving you his clothing so you can wear it around.

he's also very sweet, though. he can be moody in the morning especially when he had been drinking the night before, but even then he tries his best to be nice to you. he for sure falls very hard, so he's going to treat you like you're the only person in the world that matters to him.

he's also going to go out of his way to treat you! i can see this being a few different things. on the spicier end, i definitely think he aims to please and he's not selfish whatsoever. but in general, he's going to buy you things and he's going to treat you to dinner and even if he's too lazy to make his own bed he'll make yours while you're in the shower so you don't have to do it.

you also need to clean his room together because he's too lazy to do that, but it's okay.

AFTER losing his friends, javi is a lot more mature and takes better care of himself but he's also fundamentally changed.

losing people like that makes him a lot more aware of your mortality and the fact that he could lose you in an instant - he's going to be a little clingier, but he's also going to be a lot more protective. if anything seems like it would put you in danger, he's going to be the first one to let you know and the first one to put a stop to it.

he's still possessive, but that paired with him being protective can mean that he's going to argue with someone who dares to look at you the wrong way until you tell him that he should probably stop.

he's neater, but that's something that he developed from being in the military. a lot of his bad habits were unlearned, so he's going to be a lot cleaner and more organized and he tends to wake up earlier in the morning.

even though his hair is shorter now, he seems like a guy who likes the feeling of his partner's fingers running through his hair.

he's still playful, even though he's been through a lot. he has a nice smile and he recognizes that you really like it when he smiles. he's still a total sweetheart to you even though he has his own little issues going on with storm par.

he does try to distance his personal life from his work, mainly because he's not always happy with his work because he's not making a difference like him and his friends had originally planned. he can sometimes get upset when thinking about work.

he also gets upset when thinking about the past, so on an anniversary of what happened, expect that you're going to be comforting him.

if you're ever going through a bad storm together, trust that he's incredibly, incredibly protective. even if you're not particularly scared, he's making sure that you're safe and holding you so you're not in any danger.

just general headcanons, he likes physical affection and he likes to touch you. sometimes it's kissing, sometimes it's holding hands. he does find it cute when you trace his freckles.

you're probably the only person he actually stands up for before leaving storm par if someone on his team says something rude to or about you - eventually, they recognize that you're off limits in terms of insults.

even though his life is pretty busy, i do feel like javi would want a family at some point.

he also does strike me as the kind of guy who pays for every date until you stop telling him to pay for every date because you should both be paying.

he also just likes learning about your interests and he never forgets them. if you tell him about something that just moderately interests you, that's something that he's going to remember and - if possible - it's going to come up as a gift in some way, shape, or form.

javi also seems like a hand kisser, like he's going to kiss your hand. but he's also going to kiss your cheek, and your forehead, and he also probably gets a little awkward when you kiss his cheek because you always always go for the cheek with the most freckles even though it's endearing to him.

[cuubism]

Hello! What do you think would happen if the world ever found out the endless were real and one of them was dating an immortal peasant from the 14th century? I really want Hobs students to find out about this.

I think it would be funny if the world found out BECAUSE of Dreamling. Some guy who's pissed off with Dream (there are many) is like oh you wanna be funny, Dream Lord? Well I'm about to be hilarious. And is just like "hear ye, hear ye, some new asshole is blowing up his own life dating Dream of the Endless." And somehow this accidentally gets out to the whole world instead of just the supernatural community. (Would be hilarious to me if the whole supernatural community is invested in Dream's disastrous love life. They're watching like it's 90 Day Fiance, just waiting for the inevitable meltdown.) Dream would get shit for dating a human. Hob would get shit for dating Dream of all people.

They're a little concerned about Hob's sanity though. Supernatural creatures start coming up to Hob like BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP. they're holding his face between their hands like "hold still I need to make sure you're not spelled". Hob's like oh I'm of sound mind I assure you. They're like "that's patently untrue but good luck :)"

Later they all start to admire him because "only someone with incredible devotion could love Dream." They're a bit jealous actually. Dream is INCREDIBLY smug, even though it was probably Hob who initiated 95% of the first steps in their relationship.

Meanwhile, Hob's students are 500x more invested in their Prof's love life with "that weird goth" than in the fact that supernatural creatures that embody concepts are real. Hob's like "you've just learned that DEATH is a real person and you care more about whether I've put a ring on Dream's finger?" Students: WEDDING! WEDDING! WEDDING!

I do think it would cause a lot of problems though, for the Endless to be widely known. People would definitely be coming after them for boons and favors, it would be the Burgess situation x 1000. Some new religions might spring up around the Endless. Would people knowing that dreams are "real" (kinda) change the fundamental nature of dreaming? I think all their functions would get upended.

Meanwhile Hob's life would become a nightmare, being known as an immortal human? YIKES. All privacy or normalcy gone. He might have to fake his death and disappear to the Dreaming for a while.

Yeah to be honest I don't think the whole world knowing would end well for them at all. They'd be miserable, at least for a while. Dream has always performed his function in the shadows, and I think would hate being known everywhere. Hob's always liked being an ordinary person and wouldn't like that being wrenched away. Poor things :/

[zayray030]

What are your thought on canon vs fanon type fics where they both meet

Or another example would be canon meeting genderswapped ver

Or canon meeting age swap/role swap ver

OR CANON MEETING RSA STUDENT VERSIONS where both side are disappointed in the other and there's a ton of rivalries just going on

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

Fanon vs Canon would be funny lmfao

If its the woobiwfied versions the entire cast is just DISGUSTED!! They are staring in horror whilst simultaneously retching at the sight. Oh my god if the other stutters!!! Bullying their alt version then and there they don't give a fuck

If its the yandere version of them they are just SO put off and annoyed by their presence and will try and strangle them lmao

Like floyd will try and punt his version because he'd just be so annoyed by their existance

Meanwhile Riddle and Ace are going through the 5 stages of grief rverytime they interact with their fanon versions

Vil is having an existential crisis about how the media perceives him

Kalim is lowkey annoyed by his version because it makes all those ugly feelings from Jamils overblit rise again

Cater is cringing so so so much at fanon him. Like, everytime he sees him he has to bite back a scream and just smile

Leona is so annoyed. What the actual fuck. He sleeps sure but he does so so so much more

Malleus is also really miffed. His one personality trair is not being lonely

Age swap/role swap is so interesting

A lot of the current dynamics we have u canon is simply based of their ages let's be honest.

If Epel was older he would not be dealing with Vil's disrespect of his accent and stuff.

Ruggie might struggle more if he was older and didn't have Leona's immediate protection

Riddle if he was tounger honestly wouldn't change much but he might get called out sooner or he'll just continue as is if he was older

Ace would either be more mischievous or malicious

Sebek might be a lot calmer since he wouldn't be in school fawning over Malleus

Malleus might actually be able to make it to events since he'll have Sebek lmao. And like he wouldn't be housewarden

A lot of these changes would change the fundamental structure of the characters interactions and dynamics and seeing them meet canon versions will cause some form of whiplash

Like let's say see have Vil and epel meets role/age swap. Like seeing how things could have happened must be humbling to an extent

RSA AND NRC RIVALRY LET'S GOOOOO

So I saw a bunch of RSA fanart before and I had a few ideas about RSA ace and NRC Ace swapping places and the chaos that would cause

But I can just imagine everyone cringing from their nice versions because it would just feel so SLIMY to them for some reason

I can just imagine them turning around and shuddering whilst making eye contact

They can't even have civil conversations because NRC keeps turning it into a fight because they think their RSA counterpart is trying to start a fight

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Cavalier in One's Personal Life: The Gates Family's Views on Romance

Long before I knew the 2003 script was out there or what it contained, I was slightly obsessed with the exchange Ben and Abigail have in the dressing rooms where Ben proclaims:

BEN Well, my father thinks I've been a little too cavalier* in my personal life.

This entire conversation is fascinating to me because it feels so out of place. Again, long before I knew there was a pre-Nic Cage script you could read or how Ben Gates would be characterized there, I guessed that at one point he was written as a hot, young 'ladies man' —whatever tf that means. My evidence? This exchange does not fit the Ben Gates character we meet on screen.

The Ben Gates we meet on screen in National Treasure is an outcast pushing 40 with one (1) friend, less than stellar social skills, and no relationship with his only living family (at least that we see in the first movie.) He is not the Hollywood ideal of a leading man.

In a previous article we explored how fundamentally the casting of Nicolas Cage shaped the character of Ben Gates, and in another we looked at the reading of Ben as autistic. In short: Nic Cage's presence/appearance/acting choices changed Ben A LOT, including turning a Hollywood Neurotypical Hot Man™ into a middle aged autistic weirdo. (And thank goodness. Can you imagine how much less fun National Treasure would be without him??)

But I maintain that this whole "cavalier in my personal life" exchange dates from before the Cage-ification of the character.

And I love that for it.

Because what happens is...

...in a version of the story where Ben is a hot young serial womanizer, the 2004 Hollywood ideal, I would take this exchange at face value. Patrick—who in this movie is portrayed as having one monogamous heterosexual love of his life who he lost early and never moved on from—thinks Ben is playing it fast and loose with his personal life. Something that would generally be glorified at this time in this culture. The James Bond thing: a new sexy woman for every adventure.

But since that is not the version of Ben that we meet in the actual movie, this line transforms. (For me, at least.)

Think about it. Other than Patrick saying this to Ben ("Is she pregnant?") or Ben relating to Abigail what Patrick says about him, where in the story do we see any evidence of Ben living his life like this? Short answer: we don't.

Outside of discussing what his father thinks about his personal life, Ben never tells us anything from his own point of view. We don't see or hear anything about old girlfriends, lost loves, jilted exes, or anything of that nature. As far as the text of the film is showing us, Ben has no personal life to speak of.

Yes, in the 2003 script there was a mention of old girlfriend(s) who got chased away because 'Ben wouldn't stop talking about some girl named 'Charlotte''—which is funny, but that detailed did not survive into the finished film. It also actually still jives with this reading really well.

The Ben Gates we actually meet on screen does not seem to be the person his father portrays him as at all. I supposed you could argue that at one point in his past—perhaps the last time Patrick really knew him—he was like this. But what we see on screen is the far opposite. For example, it's always Riley who comments on Abigail's physical appearance; it's never Ben.

RILEY Being kept down by the man. A very cute man. BEN *geeks out over her accent*

And later

RILEY (over comm) Is that that hot girl? How does she look? BEN (to Abigail) *discussing GW campaign buttons*

In this second interaction Ben is face to face with Abigail, while Riley is on the radio, so Riley does have the freedom to say whatever he wants, while Ben does not. However, it would be totally within the scope of Ben's conversation with Abigail to jump off of Riley's comment and say something like "You look lovely tonight," but he never does. Throughout the whole interaction, Ben never comments on Abigail's appearance.

I've already discussed their first meeting at length, and I won't rehash too much now, but suffice it to say they are mutually curious about one another in a very intellectual way. An "I don't usually meet people who are quite on my frequency" way.

Which leads me to two conclusions:

Conclusion 1: In the context of the finished film, Patrick's comments about Ben's personal life say way more about Patrick than they do about Ben. They speak to someone who is very conservative in his views of love and family, and who is very much a believer in the traditional 'one true love' narrative. Anything outside of that is a deviation of which Patrick does not approve. I mean, having more than one partner whom you've said "I love you" to is not unusual?? I would guess that in modern dating culture, people who have only said "I love you" to their one true love is much less common than people who try out various serious relationships but they don't all work out. What year do you think it is Patrick? What storybook did you fall out of?

Conclusion 2: Ben Gates is on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums. Specifically I'm thinking ace demiromantic or double demi.

Think about it. All we actually know about his personal life is that he's failed to follow the traditional model in a way that Patrick doesn't understand. While Ben's line about saying "I love you" to more than one person could speak to a serial monogamy lifestyle at some point, it could also speak to a) Patrick's unrealistic standards for "one true love" and/or Ben's inability to find a footing in the dating world he's expected to inhabit.

My personal headcanon is for Ben as someone who's always on the outside trying to fit in. He knows what he's supposed to say, and what he's supposed to feel, so he goes through the motions but his relationships inevitably fail because there's not a lot of real emotion behind them. Treasure hunting was always his real passion anyway, so eventually he gives up on pretending he's interested in anything else.

His fascination with Abigail starts on a very intellectual footing, and slowly grows into a possible romance as they get to know each other. That screams demiromantic to me.

It should be noted that I'm wildly biased here, because I am aroace and will aspec-ify any blorbos I can get my hands on. But it also feels very in line with the autism reading, since there can be significant overlap between the two labels. However you parse it, I view National Treasure as a story about a guy who does not quite fit in carving out a place where he does fit in, is respected for the person that he is, and surrounded by people who understand and vibe with him—even if he has to steal the Declaration of Independence to do it.

What queer NT headcanons do you have?

Happy Pride!

*I just finished reading Harrow the Ninth and if I don't make a reference to it with all this talk of cavaliers I will explode.

[latibvles]

Hey Poet! I’ve been loving the headcanons you’ve been writing and it’s got me thinking about a Mouse Hole crossover with Band of Brothers and/or The Pacific. Do you have any other thoughts on that, like ships or friendships that would come from that?

anon, when I tell you you are unleashing a monster (affectionate). yes I have thought about this — and I do eat it up quite frankly. As with the Alex & Inez headcanons and underrated girls headcanons, these will be thrown under the cut for length. also this is an invitation to drop any crackships / friendship dynamic things you want to hear me talk about in my inbox because we've got a lot of little army and marine men in this toy box to interact with our barbies.

So I think a crossover with The Pacific would be a bit harder — mostly because B-17s were used primarily in the ETO if my googling and reading serves correct. There's accounts of B-17s being used in anti-naval bombing but they didn't really, ahem, hit anything. So whoever makes it to the end of the war would be the ones to meet (unless I dived into a Lady Marines AU, which I am not well-versed enough in to do right now)

I've said this before and I maintain that... Harriet and Malarkey crossing paths after the war is very beautiful to me. They both suffered the cold, both lost their undeniable best friend and had to process that grief while fighting for their lives in one way or another (Malarkey in Bastogne, Harriet in the Stalag). What they go through leaves them both fundamentally changed as people, noticeable enough that their friends have concerns. Harriet is pretty hard to track down after the war (she's there for June's wedding, but she misses Jo and Rosie's). Who's to say she and Malarkey don't cross paths stateside? I think they could both use that kind of friendship & healing.

In a world where these girls exist (I've thought about making them apart of the WAFH WIP canon. Thoughts? Opinions? Who's to say) a magazine cover of one Fern Carmine and Vivian Savorre (among others) with bright smiles walking away from a plane in their leather jackets and aviators has definitely made its way through some Toccoa barracks and one Lewis Nixon is possibly realizing he has a thing for redheads.

There is a small window of time before Bremen/Munster where the guys are in Aldbourne & most of the Mouse Hole crew hasn't been shot down yet. Who's to say who crosses paths on a weekend pass in consideration to officers

And of course there's always a.) AU where the 101st are pilots or b.) AU where the Mouse Hole girls are paratroopers but that's besides the point

In terms of friendships? I could see Inez and Shifty getting along pretty well, Harriet does generally get along with everybody so I think she could soften up even the most hardened of hearts. Willie and Lip would also probably get along pretty great — but I think Viv is a pretty tough shell to crack in terms of getting friendship from her that isn't her expertly evading personal questions.

Lorraine and Speirs? Funny in a scary way. I think Tab would probably develop a crush on June pretty quick before learning that she can and will fight just about anyone. I also think she'd be rightly annoyed by Liebgott. And Guarnere. And— [GETS YANKED OFFSTAGE]

I do think that Lena and a certain Andrew Haldane would make an extremely cute couple. Well-read jock and his wife who works on cars [ he's alive and well TO ME. ]

I think how Vivian interacts with Easy Company Officers is interesting because of how much of herself she tries to hide from others. But I think the girls who aren't officers would probably have more interactions with the guys in The Pacific.

Jo and Eugene? Nerds. Sweet little nerds (before the horrors). She, too, keeps a library in her footlocker, Bob Leckie.

This is also my realization that Sledge and Harriet grew up 2 hours from one another but Harriet's got a lot of family — maybe some is in Mobile. Why is she the touchstone here (I'm not mad about it).

I do think June and Hoosier could have a funny friendship though. I think they'd bicker but also take the piss out of most of their friends

..... A Chuckler and Carrie dynamic is also something I would like to see. Which is to say I think Carrie needs to continue to gather Large People who would go to war for her because she's two apples tall and is still finding her voice

Send me crossover requests please

Nix Bucky and Viv in a room sounds like my nightmare blunt rotation. Dick falls into the famous trap of thinking Willie doesn't like him because of her RBF.

My brain is scattered but there's a lot of ways that these people could all cross over into one another and it looks different depending on which way you slice it

My final verdict? Fern Carmine is everybody's type /lh

[papirouge]

Not here to debate with you about the ethics of abortion, but I don't think having a phobia of pregnancy is a moral failure. It's extremely harsh on your body and many women do suffer complications in childbirth. I don't know what pro lifers want people with pregnancy phobias to do. Like, do you guys want to forcibly impregnate them anyway to fulfill their WoManLy DuTiEs? Good luck making that work.

Besides, people who don't want kids shouldn't breed anyway.

There's a difference between a phobia and being straight up delusional and offensive.

To give you an example ; it's like people who have a phobia of sharks and say "their teeth are scary, I don't like their shape, their eyes, their wide mouth, etc" OK ✅

And those who are like : "sharks are disgusting creatures from hell and should all be killed" That's not ok, delusional and lowkey psychopathic.

Sorry but as a woman, i'm not going to let crazy self hating women mock and attack my biology out of their mental illness. That's not a phobia when you feel entitled to diss other humans being entire biology, with whom they were naturally born with. They're litterally calling innocent babies "sreeching gremlin" I DARE YOU to say that's not some sign of sociopathy.

And it wouldn't be so much annoying it it didn't came from the same crowd of so called "feminists" who pretend fighting for women to "love themselves in their natural state". Gurl, shut up, you HATE yourself and what your body can do. You'd rather mutilate yourself (while mocking TRA doing so to change gender) than life with a functioning reproductive system so much you're scare of getting pregnant. That's CRAZY and thats how bad as women removing their breast or moids cutting their peepees. I want people to start respecting their GOD GIVEN body for once and stop mutilating themselves over narcissism, fear, or "phobia".

At least redpiller moids have more legitimacy to mock women bodily functions because they don't have none, so they're not marking against their own side. It's crazy how on so many level redpiller moids are way more strategic, clever and cohesive in their train of thoughts compared to radfem. They hate women, and admit to only like *that part* for sex - but you'll NEVER.EVER hear them make fun of male biology like feminists do. Because they are way more protective of their gender rep than feminists are. Let that sink in.

And please, you guys need to stop with that borderline cumbrain creepy obsession with imagining people being out on the hunt to force preg women.... Beside rapists, NOBODY is forcing you to get pregnant. We are nobodies from the internet saying shit. The Handmaid's Tale is a BOOK. (I always found very ironic how the same radfem who made fun of Harry Potter stans are literally doing the same thing, making one (1) book storyline the fundamental basis of their world worldview - but I digress).

And no one is denying that pregnancy isn't hard on the body. By compelling people to have responsible and selective sex, pro lifers are more than anyone else conscious of how serious pregnancy is, and the toll it takes on the female body. However, maybe I would take a lil bit more your concern for complications related to pregnancy if pro choicers weren't constantly downplaying the health consequences of abortion and other (hormonal) birth control systems... It's funny how you'll act like pregnancy, a totally natural function our body was literally wired for, is violence against our body, but not....chemically or surgically violently halting a biological synchronicity to forcefully remove/expel body parts.... #abortionistmath

I feel like we're in a timeline where we're so far in the pendulum that went against the lalala glamorization of pregnancy (that's existed since a LOT of time tbh) that now it's trendy to HATE pregnancy, and pass it off as this traumatic almost torture experience that HAS to be avoided at any cost...

Me think many of you sound lowkey mentally ill (it's interesting you're talking about "phobia" because phobia are actual....illness that need to be cured lol That's not...a normal state of mind) and need to learn to be normal about pregnancy. I know I may sound harsh but I'm tired of grown adults getting offended over normal shit when they just need to see a psychologist lol

[graceful-not]

Uhh a response to @ccbcrazy 's video on Conya except it got too long and I put too much effort into it to just make it a reblog. So uh. VERY LONG rambling about why my feelings on Conya are complicated that somehow managed to have way too much Jay in it. why does he keep sneaking in here goddamnit.

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL YEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! THE SILLIES EVER!!!! I love the way you organized the bullet points! Made everything very easy to follow (other than all the times the audio cut out RIP 💀) but. yeah . yeah them. they are sooooo. SO! UAUAUUA.

I agree with most of your points (and relate very very much w/ that bit about being ace and the Love At First Sight trope, though I'm aro and not ace), and ESPECIALLY with how Skybound handled everything (I could say so much about how much I hate despise the way they resolved Jaya in Skybound it's so icky I hate it I hate it I hate it I HATE IT), but I don't really have much to add to them, so I'll here are my random disjointed thoughts that sometimes and sometimes do not align with yours:

at some points, the emphasis on how it's something guilty and forbidden and how she "wants him but she can't have him", to quote that one Cole fangirl. It.. sat weirdly with me? As well as the phrasing of "the narrative wants him to be self-sacrificing", when talking about Cole on one of the slides. It feels weird to phrase it like that, as if the narrative is pushing him into that role rather than it being part of who he is, y'know? And the reason that the "yearning for what you know you can't have" aspect felt strange to me was that Cole putting friendship over his romantic relationships is a VERY significant thing about him for me. He values his friendships and family over any kind of romance, and would rather forfeit a potential romance than lose a friend, even if that friend hurt him. Which felt weird when the rest of the slideshow made it clear that you, like me, enjoy Conya because above all else, Cole loves Nya as a comrade and an equal. As a friend, before and even IF he loves her as anything else, which as you point out, isn't something we can definitively say about the other relationships (especially Jaya. I like it, I really do, and I'd say I think I like it more than Conya? but it's. it's VERY complicated and messy and they aren't really stable like. At All. for a while.)

And that part of Cole resonated with me a lot; the part that's perfectly fine not pursuing Nya because he doesn't NEED that connection like Jay does, because he's satisfied and content with where he is in their relationship now, after they both calm down and he realizes it isn't worth it, because it isn't even something he wants all THAT much. (The larger issue is that Jay was against him spending time with her at ALL, even as friends, because he was being possessive and insecure which is a whole host of other things-)

And actually? Y'know what? I'm gonna talk about Jay for a bit bc I feel like, though you did have a few slides on it and touch on it, you didn't really talk about how Jay is a very fundamental aspect of Conya's dynamic in-canon, as Nya's Yang and Cole's best friend (A title which he bestowes upon himself, I might add.) Jay is... Not Very Secure In His Relationships for the first few seasons. It stems from feeling inferior and weak compared to everyone else, which grows into clinginess and possessiveness for the ones that DO choose him, because he's afraid they'll leave, which in turn pushes them away because he's being Weird About It. He has this habit of... sorting those closest to him into neat little boxes that reassure him (Nya as his girlfriend who loves him and finds him funny and won't leave him and Cole as his best friend who's loyal and supportive and also won't ever leave him, and, as you'll note, he's the one that starts both of these, with asking Nya out and proclaiming Cole as his bestie during Skybound.) And when those people step out of those boxes, the change unsettles him, and he panics and doubles down on his tactics, sometimes even resorting to violence (which makes things worse and pushes them away more and... you get it. it's a whole cycle.) So.. Nya and Cole and their interactions are very defined by What Jay Will Let Them Do, for the first few seasons. What won't set him off, what is Good and Innocent and won't make him insecure. S1-7 Jay would NOT have let the hand nuzzle happen. But I believe S8-15 Jay WOULD. Because he's actually secure in his relationship with Nya and they trust each other, and he trusts Cole, etc. etc.

And I feel like them having an undercurrent of romantic tension kind of spits in the face of that?? I dunno. It makes the intention a little wobbly. I like the idea that it comes from a place of camaraderie, where platonic love can also be deep and intimate and layered, and not just repressed romantic feelings. Because the thought that either of them are just pining and never having that resolved makes me sad for all three of them :(.

But I DO like to think that Cole is a little bit madly in love with all of his friends in different ways (just like me fr..) and Nya's the one he latched onto back in S3 because she's a girl and heteronormativity. Cole has a lot of love in his heart ok and he cares about them very very much 🥹. And he loves and supports them and maybe he wants to kiss some or all of them but he can't do that so he's fine where he is. really he is. he's fine. HES FINE!!! he's okay when she puts a hand on his shoulder and he doesn't know how to express that he loves her so so so much and he missed her but not in the way that Jay loves her, in a different way, but he feels like it's just as important but Jay obviously didn't see it that way and he doesn't know if he does now, and how he loves them all different but so so strongly and how can she and Jay even make it so simple it's so EASY for them to wear the Yin/Yang relationship label it just FITS even though none of those relationships are alike how can the same label work when the love is obviously so different and he doesn't know if Nya even could understand that, understand how much his heart bursts with affection and fondness for her and the others, but she DOES she DOES get how you can love someone so much that there maybe aren't correct words for it, that's why Jay was the one to propose because she was just happy the way they were, and she's happy the way they are now and she's happy the way she and Cole are now except she can't be because they keep getting TORN APART and they can't ever really be happy because they're all always in danger ALL THE TIMe- sorry got carried away aha.

but yeah. And then Jay is there. and i can't let myself think Abt Conya too long because I get really sad about him. bc he's not LIKE THAT. He doesn't Get It like they (and I haha was it clear I am maybe projecting) do. The labels are comforting to him, rather than unneeded or even restricting in the way they could never encompass the full force of the feelings. They're like signifiers that the love is real, is there, is Official, which isn't something the others need because they already take the loving as a fact and a given, and Jay doesn't! He doubts his relationships and needs the reassurance of the labels, to be able to say, definitively, "This is my Yang, which means we love eachother romantically and complete eachother and are missing a piece without eachother and" (do you see where the problem is. The proposal scene was so cute but I think about his little rambly speech a little too much BUDDY WITH ANY OTHER PERSON ITD BE CUTE BUT WITH YOU AND YOUR TRACK RECORD ITS CONCERNING) But that also means that when the "rules" are broken he thinks it means the love is also broken because now the label has been dismantled and that's! NOT TRUE!!! AHH!!!!!!!! I truly think he would be cured if he made out with someone other than Nya (w/ her permission obv) for like ten seconds but he would literally never do that. but it would fix him I know this in my heart if Nya told him to go out and get some bitches he would be cured of All of His Complexes he would experience Enlightenment through the knowledge that he could do that and his relationship with Nya would still be valid and their feelings wouldn't change just because he did it and he would ALSO get to kiss someone about it. Literally win-win. Maybe it could even be Cole. this is how mudshock shippers stay winning.

And THATS always been my biggest issue with Conya. They never know what to do with Jay. Because if he found out Nya doesn't love him and is IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND he would literally never recover all of his self worth issues that he overcame down the fucking drain bitch!! because everything bad he thought about himself has been proven true! AND THE REASON HE ACTS LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST FEW SEASONS IS BC THATS EXACTLY WHAT HES TERRIFIED OF HAPPENING!! And because he's so insecure and also has so much amatonormativity entrenched within him because the rules and restrictions reassure him, he's diametrically opposed to Conya! so I can't let myself have a Conya AU without Jay unpacking all of that and being Okay with people experiencing love differently, and then maybe realizing he doesn't have to love so restrictively anymore either, and THEN Conya can be whatever the fuck is going on with them in peace. Or he finds out Nya is in love with Cole and almost loses his shit before they both tell him they are also still in love with him. And he's like "oh thank God wait Cole ur in love with me" and that would fix him. Imagine thinking you're literally the worst and then you pull both Nya AND Cole while actively being kind of a jerk to them. how do you have the self worth issues after that shdbsjdb.

anyway go watch the video 👍

[sofoulandfairaday]

Since you did a James HC post, do you have any Lily headcanons?

Lilyyyy. Let's get right into it, sorry for the delay loves.

Kind. Incredibly kind. She would help a younger student in need, and always give friends and foes alike the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to see the good in people.

Part of her internal struggle, when she grew up, was grappling with the evils of the world. There are people who are truly evil, who want to see you hurt or dead just because of who you are. This painful realisation ultimately made her steely, stronger.

Short-tempered. She would get irritated, yell, even hex, very quickly, but it would also pass very quickly. She wasn't rancorous.

This is also why she didn't make peace with Severus even after he apologised. If she had just been angry about him calling her a Mudblood, she would have probably forgiven him. No, it was the realization, like we see in that scene outside the Fat Lady's portrait, that they had become fundamentally different people. They didn't share the same values, they didn't see the world in the same way.

And since she was a woman of principle, she couldn't accept being a Death Eater's “exception to the rule”.

She was popular but had few real friends. She didn't have the life-changing friendships James had (better yet, she did in Severus, but we all know how that went), so when they got together, his friends basically became her friends too.

She got on well with the Marauders, Remus most of all.

Still, I find it a bit sad (personally).

She probably had very cordial, even good relationships with the Gryffindor girls in her year, but it was the kind of friendship that dies down after school.

Good grades, but she also studied a lot. She wasn't naturally talented like Sirius or James, she earned every single success (and she had many, academically speaking).

Remus' study buddy in their last few years.

Very good at Potions, which was also her favourite subject. I think she would have grown up to work in the field if she had been given the chance.

Also a skilful duellist.

Idk if Hogwarts had a little student-run newspaper at the time, but if it did, Lily definitely wrote some very pro-Muggle articles in there. It got her more than some harassment from the Slytherins.

She grew up in a lower to middle-class background. She wasn't dirt poor like the Snapes were, but she wasn't by any means rich. She grew up with some of Petunia's hand-me-downs and listened to her parents' relief when they heard they wouldn't have to send her to university. This gave her an appreciation for money that James didn't have.

She wasn't superficial by any means, but as a teenage girl, it must have been wonderful to have a boy buy you gifts (even expensive ones for their age) and take you out on “fancy” dates.

Loved being a witch, used magic even for the most minuscule things, but was very proud of her Muggleborn heritage.

Had she lived, she would have loved Hermione. “Mudblood and proud of it!” is something I can see Lily saying.

Unlike Hermione, she wasn't a SJW-type. I don't see her as someone actively fighting for house-elf rights, for example. I can vividly picture a conversation between her and Hermione that goes a bit like some conversations between young feminist girls and their (still feminist) grandmothers when you try to explain intersectionality or something of the sort.

Bonded with Sirius over their shitty siblings.

James was her one and only boyfriend. She had crushes before, maybe even kissed a couple of guys, but she was one of those girls who just didn't have time for boys.

This being said, her crush on James Potter started way before seventh year. He was charming, popular, good with a snitch, funny. However, her dislike for him was absolutely genuine. She liked him but she would have never given him the time of day hadn't he changed.

She never hated Severus. Even years after they were no longer friends, the thought of him aroused more pain than anger. And I do think that, had she survived Voldemort's attack, she would have eventually forgiven him and patched things up with him (although it is my firm belief that things wouldn't have gone back to what they were).

Not even on her part. She wouldn't have fallen in love with him or anything, but he was one of the few things that was hers before it was her and James'. It was one of the things that connected her to her childhood, that sense of lost youth that we so often seek to find again when we grow up. No, had Lily lived, Severus wouldn't have seen her the way he did in canon. He was directly responsible for her death and spent his life crushed by that guilt. Whether you liked them romantically or platonically, being responsible for another person's murder shifts your whole world. If she had lived, he wouldn't have put her on a pedestal and she likely wouldn't have remained the most important person of his life even years after her death.

[gwyns]

I remember a post by an E/riel pushing the theory of Elain being tied to Dusk Court and how she’s connected to the Prison. “Elain will restore the Prison/Dusk Court (with the help of Azriel)” “Elain will become High Lady/High Queen of Dusk”. They even said “Rhys said the Pegasuses hailed from the island the Prison is located on, and haven't been able to breed successfully ever since. If Elain restores the 8th court, that means more pegususes. So in conclusion... Give Elain a Pegasus” 🤡 ??? You know who is actually connected with Pegasus? Gwyn and the Valkyries.

I’m not trying to sound petty, but it’s like they’re trying to turn Elain into a warrior/Gwyn, when Elain isn’t one. I’m glad Elain isn’t a warrior. I like that she would rather garden and bake. I like warrior women, but I also like women who don’t want to wield a sword. Stop trying to make Elain something she’s not.

The same ones saying Elain will be High Lady/High Queen of Dusk Court with Azriel by her side were also the same ones that were fiercely defending that Elain belongs in the Night Court, because her sisters and friends are there. But now it’s different?😂🤡

After HOFAS was released I’ve seen E/riel’s do a lot of backtracking with their theories and now they’re trying to make Elain connected to Gwydion (and still believe Prison/Dusk is hers). Please, let Nesta have something of her own. It makes the most sense for Nesta to have Gwydion. She’s a warrior, has the eight-pointed star tattoo, is connected to the prison, and more connected to the Dread Trove. I think the Valkyries will rule over the Prison after reading a theory about it.

this is sooo funny lol they really do try and take everything from other characters and give it to elain when she already has her own things!!! she likes to garden and bake and has rare seer powers and is outright connected to the new main baddie and vassa through her visions!!!! all of that is cool as hell and they're still trying to find ways to make her more compatible with that bat. if you have to change the fundamentals of your supposed favorite character to make them work better with another character, maybe just maybe... and stay with me here... they're not that good of a match!!

oh silly anon (i swear i'm not trying to be patronizing i'm just trying to joke), don't you know that e/riels are always bullshitting their way through the fandom? one second elain should stay with her sisters, who clearly don't understand her on a deep level and who she doesn't have the best relationships with from what we've seen the past couple of book releases, but then the next she has to be the high lady of dusk! or the princess of the court of nightmares!! or the high queen!!! and all alongside azriel!!!!

i love when they backtrack, i can always get a good laugh out of it, they must have the memory of a goldfish. i fully agree with your last statement. the island the prison is on is for the valkyries, i believe that'll become their stronghold, and isn't it funny how truth teller's twin is in nesta, a valkyrie's, hands and she is also heavily connected to the prison? all this tells me personally is that az is likely the next mc and nesta will be at least somewhat involved in the plot

and guess what? if one valkyrie is involved, all of them will be. meaning gwynriel is looking more and more endgame every single day. i can see why they're upset 🥰

[queen-susans-revenge]

Why (And Why Not) To Have Kids

So as I've been moving to a different stage of parenthood--my three being all in double digits now--I've been kind of looking back on the whole mad scrum of raising babies and thinking about why exactly it seems worth it to me.

It was worth it, but also it was fucking hard. I wasn't prepared going in; I'm not sure anyone is. Maybe if you grow up in a big extended family taking your turn doing the bouncy walk with a fussy baby almost every day; and if you've got family around who will take the baby from you, in turn. Then maybe it wouldn't turn your whole life upside down and fundamentally remake your brain and sense of self.

But for most of us in these atomized times, parenthood changes everything. It takes away all your time and all your self-determination and all your money, too. It drives you to the brink and sometimes over it. No wonder more and more people are saying "nah, I'm good." (And that's a FINE choice!)

But for those who still feel an inscrutable exhortation of the soul--those who worry that their lives would not be complete without a child--here's my advice on how to tell if you should, or shouldn't.

Firstly, and mostly. If you don't enjoy kids, you shouldn't. If you don't fundamentally like being around them; if you don't think they're fun, and funny; if they don't put a smile on your face. Don't count on feeling differently about your own. Like, you will probably enjoy yours more, but they're still basically gonna be kids. If you hate the noise, the questions, the sticky hands--if you wouldn't take a friend or family member's kids for a day excursion just because you'd enjoy their company. Don't do it. I like kids. I like my own kids even more. They still drove me crazy sometimes and that's inescapable. My observation has been that it seems much worse for the people who DON'T like kids but expected their own to be "different."

But, if you feel your life would be empty without them... well, that is something that kids fix. The emptiness. Like, you probably shouldn't have a baby just because you're lonely...but also, you'll never be lonely again for at least the next thirteen years. If you wonder what the purpose of your life is; if you're searching for meaning. Children fill that hole right up. I don't think anybody dies surrounded by loving family and asking themselves, "well, I brought X number of wonderful people into the world, but other than that, what was it all for?" Like, once you have created a whole entire other human, you do not lack for meaning or purpose. You've got that covered forever, because you're gonna care about them more than you care about yourself. So if you find yourself watching little humans at the park and wishing you could spend more time with them... if you think a lot about the books you'd want to read them, the places you'd want to take them, the things you'd want to teach them... if you absolutely crave the sweet, trusting warmth of a baby asleep against your shoulder. That's a good reason to do it, actually.

[scoobysfriend]

This is my ideal scooby gang. Explanation and scooby doo character analysis under the cut

I think Scooby Doo is a character driven show actually. Every time there is a mystery, and everytime we aren't always interested in what the mystery is but how the characters investigate it. Most scooby doo episodes and movies aren't about the mysteries themselves but are about the character shenanigans the gang get up to while solving that mystery.

The best way to possibly ever write fred is make him laios but with an ascot and for traps instead of food. You don't even have to change the monster part! A heart of gold and a specialized skill set. Can fred make a phone call? no. Can fred turn all the wheels on the mystery machine into suction cups so it can go up a wall to chase a tentacled bird demon? yes. He must also be kind, all the scooby characters must be, but fred most especially. Plus trap making is such a niche hobby, and mystery incorporated explored this a little bit, but doing that even more is great. Funny enough I also really loved mystery incorporated's stance on fred's family life. Being raised by someone who doesn't understand who you are fundamentally and wants you to change, poetic cinema. I also want Red Herring to be Fred's childhood friend turned nemesis turned weird I know you better than I know myself thing, my password is your birthday and yet we don't talk there's this distance. Like when kids are young and they bring their friends over to their house, and that friend never really leaves cause they aren't getting parented at home? That's red herring bringing fred to his house, and make his mom a mechanic and suddenly so much stuff fits. It also explains his mechanic skill. Traps and cars are different things. Fred is a crazy inventor who emotionally bonded to the mystery machine and learned mechanics from someone who was the closest thing he ever got to a parent. Fred is a crazy smart inventor. He makes traps and contraptions and rube goldberg machines for the thrill of it. We call a man boring who probably has twelve bear traps in his bedroom and he's so confused on why people don't want to live this way so more for him he guesses, but that also means he always wants to share it with his friends!!!!!!! He's a huge gentle soul that loves his people and his mysteries and his traps. In that order.

i think daphne should get to have a character arc actually?? There's been enough iterations of all the scooby doo characters that if you just mix and match them you have character development. She should start as danger prone daphne always getting in trouble. Then she should decide she doesn't want to be the one getting saved all the time. She starts learning skills to get her out of danger first lockpicking cause whats new scooby doo was my scooby growing up, then learning martial skills to the point where instead of getting rescued she is the one running into danger to rescue others. Someone who protects and never shies away from trouble. I also think it would be cute to make it so she's really into fashion from the 1960s, so that you could modernize the world but keep the old designs cause the gang wants to go matchy matchy with daphne. She does love fashion and knows about it, but just saying "loves fashion" is very 2 dimensional. Saying Daphne loves vintage clothes and using those clothes in the modern era especially clothes from the 60s opens a lot of opportunities to explain why the whole gang is going to this super duper spooky estate sale, Daphne heard this woman had an extensive collection. It also lets the gang have cool outfits and character models. On top of that by having the gang match Daphne, shows that she loves them enough tom share this part of herself with them and that they love her enough to be a part of it with her. Daphne also is almost always the backbone of the gang. Fred, shaggy, and scooby would give a stranger the shirt off their backs, velma and fred don't always recognize what is socially expected so can take advantage of because they are trying to fit in an uncomfortable social situation, but Daphne? Daphne is a fiery redhead who loves her friends more than breathing, no you can't have fred fix that for you, no you can't say that to shaggy and no velma won't do your homework. We are also bringing scooby in with us, if you don't like it that sucks. This combination of traits is stuff she already had, in one iteration or another, and gives a solid character. Also making her the youngest daughter of like twelve in a wealthy family slaps.

Velma, oh velma, JelloApocalypse put it best "A bad Velma is the worst thing that happened to Scooby-doo". Velma often suffers from being the workhorse of the narrative. Donatello of the tmnt often suffer similarly. Velma I feel like, even in character, should reflect this. Velma is the smartest person in the room, and due to her knowing this, she often feels responsible for doing something with that knowledge. The gang takes a lot of that pressure off. Velma is not a master of every single science, but she is one of the most gifted researchers alive. Yet, she is also compassionate, she feels responsible, because when seeing something go wrong and be awful, she believes that she could change it. She, maybe the most, benefits from having the scooby gang all together, because they give her permission to have fun. Velma will see a bad guy and already be twelve steps down in her thought process on how this will affect the carnival's income, while shaggy yells that they need to "Run, Man!". Velma is one of those characters where you could imagine her being very successful in dusty stacks for the rest of her life, but she gets color added to it, and first hand knowledge, by going out with the gang. She's curious to a fault, and wants to know about everything, and often thinks she can just find out from books and the internet, and is often right! But is just as often wrong! Velma will be twelve review articles deep trying to find the best place to eat and shaggy will say I know a guy and they'll be eating out of an illegal taco boat moored in the middle of the harbor. Or velma will be trying to make what is objectively the best decision in a given situation when Dpahne will come in and ask "Why are you in this situation in the first place, let's leave" or velma will be curious about the reproductive cycle of the three toed sugar cane frog and fred will show up with a cooler, night vision goggles and two plane tickets. The gang give velma the freedom to make choices without worrying about which one is the "right" one. This also extends to mysteries, because velma wants to prove that ghosts and aliens and werewolves and everything exist, she wants to prove it so so so badly, but she's been told intellectually her whole life that it's a load of hogwash, but with the gang, they all go get to prove if it's hogwash or not together and have fun doing it! Even when it's all fake, it's a puzzle, it's so much fun! And this is what makes Marcie Fleach such a good foil. Marcie is also gifted, beyond gifted, in robotics, but she doesn't have anyone to get her out of her own head. So Marcie is stuck in her own dark thoughts trying to make it work while velma is trying a sandwich that scooby made that has circus peanuts in it. There can be no knowledge without experience and that is what velma really proves. Her research skills provide such a strong base for the gang, and her observational skills are second to none, she might not always know what to do with those observations but that's what she can talk to the gang for. This responsibility she feels to the world and the people living in it and even just the ideals of the truth, all form this core facet of her personality that she gets to explore and uphold in a fun way through the solving of mysteries. She has a book for everything and a try anything thrice while documenting the results for science kind of attitude. Plus this pull between what she has been told it right, what she thinks academically is right and what she feels is right, all fighting in her head for dominance makes for great character motivation. Like in where's my mummy she dresses up as the bad guy because she thinks it's the right thing to do, and she's shown by the narrative to be right! Also velma should get to, and be required to, get up to as many goofy shenanigans as the other members of the scooby gang. They all take turns being the straight man and on particullarly goofy days, it's scooby.

SHAGGY IS A GODDAMN ANTHROPOLOGY MAJOR. And a wizard, but we have known that one. Shaggy is a nice witty guy, who likes helping people, but even more than that he likes learning about people. Like, he's the kinda guy who ten minutes after meeting him you bring him home to your family and they adopt and feed him. He's charming and snarky and a good listener. He's often a coward, but he's brave for scooby. Scooby will be scared out of his mind and so will shaggy, but shaggy will crack a joke so scooby will laugh and scooby will dance so shaggy will laugh. They are best friends. Shaggy also loves old horror flicks, the cheesier the better and video games that people don't think are very good. Shaggy as a character is like a celebration of things everyone trashes put into a lovable package. Shaggy is a coward who runs away and eats too much and loves b grade horror flicks and trashiest video games ever produced. Shaggy is the one who wants to go to the puppet museum or accordion camp or the world's most giant ball of yarn. There's this love and wonder toward everything in the world that many of the iterations of scooby doo miss. Shaggy wants to go and solve the mystery as much as any of the gang, because he loves every part of it. If shaggy is not scared, he is smiling and laughing and engaging with the locals and going dumb skits and reading comic books. Shaggy will work as a stage hand or carnival ring master or manager of a famous doll customizer's youtube channel for a summer because he likes hanging out with folks and likes the food. And people notice this trait about him and respond in kind. There's this curiosity that all the gang needs to share, that always gets surgically removed from shaggy and I don't know why. It's just that shaggy's curiosity is more about fun happy things. Like even in ghoul school, there were monsters and he was scared, but he realized they were people and immediately tried to be friend to them. Maybe it's my own bias, but if shaggy went to college he'd be an anthropology major, because wanting to know everything about people and eat their food and hang out with folks eternally, that is applied cultural anthropology lmao.

(Also i could do a whole thing on how the members of the scooby gang each represent a different branch of applied anthropology. Scooby as primatology, Fred as biological anthropology/Forensics, Velma as archeology, Daphne as linguistics, Shaggy as cultural anthropology, another day, another day.)

Finally last and certainly not least. Scooby Dooby Doo. The dog, the myth, the legend. It's really interesting to talk about scooby and the way he evolved, originally scooby didn't have that many words. He was like a parrot, had a certain number of set phrases but had to pantomime the rest. I like scooby talking, I like knowing his thoughts, but that pantomime. I'm so irrationally obsessed with it. I really think we need to bring it back. So much of his slapstick comedy and personality is removed when you removed that. Scooby isn't making quips, scooby is dressing as a cancan dancer while shaggy's thar barman and making the evil chicken ghost blush so much it bends over backward to buy them a drink that he throws in it's face so they can run again. Scooby has so much emotional intelligence and cares so deeply for the gang, to reduce him to a shaggy clone is a crime. Scooby has that classic dog mentality, Shaggy is his boy. His best friend and his everything, if scooby could go everywhere with shaggy he would and wait he does! Scooby wants to go on adventures, and go with his people, and for scooby an adventure could be a trip to the dog park or bowling alley or solving a why ghost pirates are attacking their cruise ship. And of course scooby's scared! He's a scaredy cat! He'll jump and yipe and be afraid, but he'll stick by his people even if he is afraid. He provides such tension relief and emotional solace, he is an emotional support animal. Anytime the gang is stressed or worried or sad or anything there is scooby doo! Either feeling it right along side you or comforting you through it, like that one scene in little miss sunshine when the kid has a breakdown cause he's colorblind and won't be able to fly and then gets comforted by that little girl. Scooby is that little girl. I really cannot emphasize enough how loyal scooby is, and there is no better illustration of that than scrappy. Scrappy was just a puppy but he thought his uncle scooby was the bravest dog in the whole world, and that's the thing scrappy never saw any different!! Scrappy would picka fight with a monster or someone bigger than him and everytime, without fail, there scooby would be to pull him out of it. Scooby is a loyal beyond all other things, even beyond his fear, and has an emotional breadth that can only come from not only being the heart of the show but the heart of his little family too! And shaggy is his best friend!!!!!!!! They do everything together and he loves him so much!!!! And sure he's clumsy, but so is daphne, and sure he can get jealous, but so can velma, and sure he's a coward but so is shaggy! Scooby does this thing where whenever he is there, everything is a little better, the sun a little brighter, the avocado toast a little more scrumptious, and he's smiling and cheering and so then is everyone else. I also thought of a hilarious bit, where since scooby is a dog and they like eating all the time they keep running into stuff that is poison for dogs so shaggy can't share it with scooby and he begs with the biggest possible eyes, and rests his head on shaggy's lap and shaggy feels so bad that he gets three scooby snacks and the bacon from fred's plate.

Really though. These are all goofball young folks who like solving mysteries together and traveling together and bonding over random activities. They love each other, they are all best friends, and it would be relatively easy to give them all character arcs based upon things that previously happened to them.

Fred as this guy, getting recognized for his achievements and hobbies even if they aren't what is considered normal. All his friends hyping up his most complicated trap or cheering when he makes the mystery machine a boat or being willing to tell his automatic breakfast machine. That transition from hiding everything about yourself to showing a little bit and then a little more and the relief each time from being accepted fully!

Daphne as the spoiled youngest daughter of a wealthy family to damsel in distress to danger prone Daphne to being the emotional backbone of the time to as many skills as a bard to having enough skills to protect herself to throwing herself into danger with these skills she's acquired to help other people.

Velma as this cloistered researcher always trying to make the 'right' decision and having her open up about her desires and fears, and what she wants to research and investigate, where she starts investigating and having fun and experiencing all these things till she is this well of knowledge and uses that well of knowledge to have fun and help people

Shaggy who drifts from group of people to group of people, finally having a group to call his own. Getting to stay with people, and have them really learn him and really express himself. Building up confidence, and if you believe the wizard shaggy theory like I do, using magic as a metaphor for that and having him come into his own as a powerful wizard. Or even just having him come into his own as a masterful people person or as an excellent chef or as a world class detective or all of the above. Letting shaggy acknowledge his skills and his growth in them and letting him be proud.

Scooby would also reflect shaggy. Scooby with his trust issues, opening up to someone who wasn't just shaggy. Being supported by others and supporting them in turn. Being understood and listened to. Having someone tell the hotel front desk, no scooby is coming inside, no you do not get an opinion and if you do we can take our business elsewhere. This relationship with other people making him braver, and happier, and bouncier, and sillier. Having fun with everyone you love always!

You fools! The whole time Scooby doo was about love and hanging out with your friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how no matter how evil or weird or scary everything is, you can figure it out together!!!!!!!!!

[authenticparanoidghosts]

hey, found your blog by accident. i see that you have many opinions on chess. what are your thoughts on freddie's arc in the obc? ngl, i kind of love that he never improves. he's a hysteric diva to the end. i think that's so fun but it's also so interesting how he gets a weird sort of redemption arc in every single revival i've read the summary of lol. florence vassy you just haven't got the instincts of a winner!!!!!!!!!!

okay first of all we need to understand two things. 1) I received a CD of the original concept album for christmas, which I promptly loaded into my car's CD player, and 2) it took me a really long time to guess what OBC might stand for. I'm still not totally convinced it isn't Original British Concert, but enough about Chess in Concert! enough, I say! I don't care what Tim Rice said in 2009, Chess in Concert is the coward's way out!

Original Broadway Cast Freddie is a great Freddie because he sucks so bad. it is so important that Freddie sucks. it is, I would argue, fundamental to his character that he sucks like crazy and is generally unpleasant to be around. Broadway Freddie is so weird and dramatic and pathetic. he throws a big fit about the yogurt, he ditches Mountain Duet to do One Night in Bangkok, he's Walter's babygirl who is so so easy to manipulate. they don't let him in on the big plot to get Anatoly back to Russia, they don't even let him win at chess on his own merits!! Anatoly has to outright throw the match for Freddie to finally become world champion, which I find a very funny choice for the American version of the musical.

within the swirling multiverse of Whatever Chess Is Supposed To Be, I like Freddie a lot. I like when he acts weird and bad, because the point of him is to be a flawed human being whose faults reflect on himself rather than the material success of his country/capitalist ideology. Freddie gets to be annoying and misogynistic and hurtful and childish all out in the open because he is Anatoly's mirror, because Anatoly is not a paragon of Russian ideology/communist superiority, he is also just some guy who sucks and is hurtful and misogynistic and childish. Anatoly fighting for his right to be judged as an individual invites this comparison by default - as rivals, they are the only truly "equal" characters in the story - so when Anatoly becomes a man who is not the Representative of Everything Russian, it makes the viewer aware that Freddie is not just a boiled down extraction of what it means to be American. and therefore, when Freddie does something lame and bad, we know this is because he is lame and bad as an individual, and that Anatoly is also lame and bad on his own merits.

I don't think Freddie needs a redemption ("redemption" or maybe, like, "minor improvement") arc to be an interesting character, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything from the Broadway version of him where he doesn't really grow or change as a person. the MOST important thing about Freddie is his positioning relative to Anatoly (men will hurt every woman who comes into their life because their real [NARRATIVE PARALLEL] is another man), so as long as that's interesting, I'm having a great time. in the original Broadway production Freddie is unaltered by the events of the plot, and therefore Anatoly is pulled, magnetically, back to his starting position. the board resets, same as it ever was, with Anatoly back in Russia, Freddie chasing fame as the American champion, and Florence alone, with nobody on her side.